#it just feels more intuitive and easier to interact on and to get seen on and stuff

[booart5]

Thinking I'm gonna atry to do a Star Trek screenshot redraw a week as like,, a fun little exercise,, but we'll see how that goes,, if somebody has any screenshots they want me to consider then I'd love suggestions <3

Posted to Instagram March 12 2025

[seoafin]

dog days are over | chapter eight

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader x geto suguru warnings/tags (for this chapter): gojo word count: ~9.6k

fic masterlist read on ao3

“No need to look so nervous! Loosen up!”

You try your best to smile, despite the nerves bundled in your stomach. “Thank you for inviting me out, Ikeda-san.”

She beams at you, opening the menu in front of her. You stare at her glossy, perfectly shaped nails and the smooth skin of her hands. You remember the softness of them. Still, there is no ring on her finger.

“Please, call me Meiko. And of course! Don’t tell Gojo and Geto, but I’ve always wanted to talk to you.”

Surprised, you say, “Me?”

“The mysterious fourth classmate of Jujutsu High’s 2008 graduating class. I was always so curious about you.” She smiles, and you are drawn to the cherry red of her lipstick. “Especially since those two are notoriously tightlipped about you.”

You’re sure it’s because there’s nothing to talk about when it comes to you. 

“I’m not that interesting,” you say politely, because in your opinion, you really aren’t. “I’m sure you weren’t missing much.”

“Is that really what you think?” She leans forward, placing her chin on top of her threaded fingers. “I think you’re plenty interesting.”

Your face warms. Nobody’s ever called you interesting before. You meet her gaze. “Is there something you need, Ike—Meiko-san?”

She laughs. “Please, you’re so formal! No need for the honorific, you’ll make me self conscious. We’re nearly the same age! If I’m being honest, I just wanted to get to know you.”

“Because we have…” you consider her carefully, “a lot in common?”

Once again, she bursts into laughter. It’s not mocking, but amused. “I thought maybe you’d feel a little more comfortable if we had…common ground.”

The common ground being…

Your face flushes with heat. “Is it…” you stare at the plate laid flat in front of you, stomach churning in distress, “obvious?”

You think back to every single semi public interaction with Suguru and Satoru. Maybe someone had caught a glimpse of Suguru’s knuckles brushing against yours, walking a little too close to you to be considered casual acquaintances. Maybe someone had seen Satoru draw you close to him. It hadn’t been discreet. Satoru’s never been discreet. Not enough. And now you’re paying the consequences.

Your palms go sweaty.

“Oh, it seems I’ve worried you,” Meiko looks concerned. “It was just a guess,” she murmurs gently, reaching out for your hand. Your heart starts with a jerk when her hand closes around you. “An inkling if you will. Woman’s intuition?”

They are soft. They smell like peach flavored hand lotion. Relief sweeps through you like a cool balm. “Oh,” you say breathlessly. “Thank god.” It slips out before you can help it.

“It’s rare to see Geto and Gojo so ruffled,” she chuckles. “Geto especially. I can never tell what he’s thinking with that smile of his…I just wanted to tease them a little, you know? Make them sweat.” She studies you, face sobering. “They hold you in the highest regard.”

The she winks, and calls over a server.

She must be a regular here because she easily strikes up a conversation with your server about the new seasonal specials. You then watch in slight awe as she proceeds to order one of every single thing on the menu.  

At your expression, she grins. “Instead of deliberating, isn’t it easier to just order the entire menu? That way we can try a little of everything. Besides, my palate gets a little bored with one plate.”

You blink. It strikes you as something Satoru would do. Order every single sweet on a menu to have his pick. The world of jujutsu elites and their bottomless bank accounts is truly something beyond your understanding.

“When Ieiri-san said you were coming to my reception as her plus one, I was surprised,” Meiko says. “I asked Gojo for your availability, and he said you were busy. Honestly,” she huffs, “selfish men are the worst!”

Satoru said you were busy? You wonder if he thought you’d somehow embarrass him and Suguru. Somehow, you can’t fault him. People just don’t seem to like you, and it’s probably your fault. “You wanted me to come?” 

“Of course I did.” She makes a face. “Instead I had to deal with that Kumiko. The nerve of her to seat herself at my table! In your seat!”

She scans you, as if to gauge the measure of your outrage. You simply only look at her, unblinking as your mind runs wild with all the possible ways to navigate the rest of this conversation without stepping on any landmines. You're not good at this. 

“I wasn’t aware you two were acquainted.”

Meiko’s smile turns tight. “We were briefly homeschooled together. Flower arranging class.” She spits out.

Her face clouds darkly.

You quickly change the subject. “I wonder when the food—”

Meiko’s eyes narrow. “ Wait. Are you acquainted with her?”

“J-Just briefly…”

“That snake,” her fingers fist tightly. “Of course she’d worm her way into your life!” She slams a fist onto the table. You wince. “It’s Geto isn’t it?” She scoffs. “I heard she got stood up by Gojo, but to think she was that shameless—”

“She likes him,” you say, a little more firmly than you intended. A look of surprise paints her face at your sudden boldness. You settle down, embarrassed. “I think…her feelings are genuine,” and it’s wrong to undermine them. The fondness in her eyes is real. You of all people understand her feelings. You love Suguru too.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize weakly.

Meiko exhales deeply. “No, I am. I always get carried away when it comes to her. We’ve always had bad blood between us. I suppose we’ve just never seen the world the same way. It’s always been her dream to be married to an influential man,” her voice turns bitter. “To be a perfect wife. To bear sons with cursed techniques. You could say we were bred for it. Disgusting pigs like that Zenin Naoya are a dime a dozen in jujutsu society. But unlike me, Kumiko was actually born with a powerful cursed technique.” There’s a bitter note to her voice. “What a waste.”

You don’t know what to say to her. You’ve never been good at knowing what to say at the right time. Not like Suguru.

But Meiko continues, “I suppose that’s why it’s a surprise to everyone she’s still not married. A lot of people think it’s because her clan elders are holding out for Gojo.” She snorts. “I guess everyone is expecting him to get married soon too, and have children. Lots of children.” She pauses, “Though I suppose they don’t mind the unmarried part as much as the not-impregnating-women part.” She raises an eyebrow. “They do make quite the pair, don’t they?”

You get the strongest feeling of deja-vu. 

Your face warms, looking at anything but Meiko. “I…”

“They work even better together too,” she remarks with a sigh. “Unfortunately, good looks can’t save them from their lousy personalities.” She shoots you a sympathetic look. 

L-Lousy personalities…

Clearing her throat, she says, “The Gojo clan elders and higher ups from Fukuouka are convening in Tokyo to try and convince Gojo to get married. To secure the Gojo line.”

You stare at her.

Meiko’s expression gives away to surprise. “You didn’t know?”

“Nobody mentioned it,” you answer truthfully. It clears up a lot of the happenings at the school. Perhaps they had come to Tokyo because Satoru refused to come to them. You knew Satoru’s less than enthusiastic feelings towards the burdens pushed on him by clan politics, such as marriage. A part of you can’t help but wonder if that had spurred Satoru and Suguru’s actions towards you. That and pity you suppose. In your first year, Satoru often used to remark that you seemed like you’d be the type to die alone. He wasn’t wrong. 

“The Zenin and Kamo’s want him to take a bride from their own families, but the Gojo clan’s own preference is someone like Sasaki. Someone from a distinguished lineage and a clan that’s not as powerful as one of the big three. They don’t want a strong clan interfering in interfamily politics. It’s all terribly political.” She makes a face. “They want him to consider mistresses from other families too. He’s not the only one. Geto’s been fielding all kind of offers too. His cursed technique is too valuable, and the Zenin’s have always been greedy.”

Of course the Gojo clan would want someone as delicate and refined as Sasaki. She’s beautiful, talented, and holds a revered cursed technique. It would be easy to fall in love with her, if the way Suguru talks highly of her means anything. 

You try to process the rest of the information, but all you can think of is marriage, marriage, marriage. Your head is spinning. Had your parents’ marriage been rife with such difficulties? This can’t be normal. You are confronted by the realization that the day Satoru and Suguru get married might be closer than you think. It throws your thoughts into disarray. All this time you’ve been unaware of the specifics and complexities of jujutsu society as it pertains to someone of Satoru and Suguru’s positions. They’ve never confided in you, and you think it’s for good reason. You’ve been so caught up in your own head that it never occurred to you that they might be troubled too. What a friend you’ve been lately. 

Spirits dampening, you lower your gaze. “Is…that right…”

Luckily, you’re saved from a more coherent answer because the food comes. A line of waiters approach your table. Twelve plates, large and small, are set down in quick succession. You stare at the colorful array of dishes. Another waiter makes an appearance with a bottle of expensive looking wine, pouring the two of you a glass. 

Meiko loads food onto your plate. “Eat up! You seem like you could use a good meal.”

“Thank you…” Eating saves you the trouble of having to speak when you don’t have the words. It’s easy. The food is delicious.”

“This is the restaurant that catered my food during the reception,” Meiko says, taking a bite of her ricotta peach salad. “I hope you enjoyed the food, then and now.”

“It’s delicious,” you admit with a smile. “Thank you for bringing me.”

A wide smile hangs on her face. “Of course! It was a terrible night, but it might have been a little better if you had been there.”

A warm flush creeps into your face. “I would’ve liked to have met you too,” you say shyly, hesitantly. You like Meiko, you think. It’s easy to like her, with her bold personality. There's a frankness to her that reminds you of Shoko. A familiarity. You wonder what she sees in you. You wonder if your night would’ve been different had you met her instead of Hideo.

You’re thoughtful. “You didn’t seem very happy at your wedding.” The words come out before you can stop it.

Meiko goes quiet. You quickly move to retract your statement, realizing it was insensitive of you to say something. “I’m so—”

Meiko lifts her wine to her lips and slams it down, emptied. “I didn’t want to get married. Not then, not ever. I thought my father had given up on it, after I scared the fifth suitor away.” She takes the bottle and nearly fills her glass to the brim. “Only to find out my father had given away my hand without my knowledge when I came back from visiting my mother in Hokkaido.” She takes a long drink. “To a politician of all people! It was horrible. I threw a fit, hoping to convince my father. You can imagine how well that went.”

You can’t imagine being unknowingly married, bound to spending the rest of your life with a stranger. It feels like the puzzle pieces are slowly coming together. Meiko’s sour expression throughout the entire reception. Shoko’s comment about the unwilling bride. You can’t do anything but commiserate with her in silence.

“My father said he’d be willing to break off talks if…” she trails off, looking vaguely uncomfortable for the first time since the evening started. “At the time, I hadn’t realized those two were into women.”

You nearly choke with laughter.

It’s an understandable mistake. The nature of Satoru and Suguru’s relationship have always raised eyebrows. They’ve never hidden it. It’s a truth, never presumed, never spoken, lest it be true. Or spreads. Satoru and Suguru have always enjoyed making people uncomfortable to an almost sadistic extent. You’ve seen people squirm in their seats beneath Suguru’s pleasant smile, Satoru’s creeping menacing grin.

Meiko looks amused now, eyeing you with an understanding you don’t quite get. “My mistake.”

You sober. “The reception…”

“He spent the entire time with Gojo and Geto, trying to worm his way into their good graces. He has ambitions, you see.” A mirthless smile. “He wants to be prime minister of Japan one day, and everyone knows it’s Gojo’s vote that matters the most when it comes to selecting the political face of Japan, and my father already has very strong ties to the current Kamo head.”

Oh you knew that. Upon watching a political debate with Shoko in the common lounge your first year of jujutsu tech, Satoru had taken up all the space on the couch with wide legs, eaten all your popcorn, and watching the current prime minister’s effective response to the burgeoning inflation, had commented that it was an aggressive policy for the mild and meek man who had cowered in the face of him and the Zenin and Kamo heads.

Shoko and Suguru had simply looked at him until Satoru shrugged and said that between the current prime minister and his former opponent, personally, he had flipped a coin before casting his vote. Suguru gawked at him, and had spent the rest of the week questioning the legitimacy of the political institutions in Japan.

To this day, you’re unsure of whether or not Satoru was joking.

Sometimes, the thought that the fate of your nation rests in Satoru’s hands makes you a little uneasy.

You try not to think about it often.

She snorts. “It wasn’t as bad as our first night.” 

You straighten immediately.

“He didn’t touch me,” she clears up quickly. “Or force me, if that’s what you think. He slept on the couch actually.” Her face goes thoughtful. “It’s more than you can say of a lot of men in jujutsu society,” she completes darkly.

Relief shoots through you. “If you ever need help…” This time, it’s your turn to squeeze her hands reassuringly. “I’ll do whatever I can.”

Meiko looks touched. “You’d help me?”

“I’m not all that impressive,” you respond truthfully, a little embarrassed at your bold proclamation with nothing but intent to back it up. You aren’t in a position of any strength to be promising easy help. But you’d do anything you could. “But I’m sure I could ask Satoru and Suguru to help if necessary too.” And if whatever you could meant pleading to Satoru and Suguru on the behalf of someone else, you wouldn’t even have to think about it.

“Satoru and Suguru are good people,” despite the opinions of others. Despite…what Meiko may think. They are, you know it. You’re sure they’d intervene if needed, not because you asked.

She sniffs. You look at her in alarm. Then you realize the bottle of wine is empty.

“I’m sure…” she swallows, eyebrows furrowing as she tries to piece together her sentence. “I’m sure they’d do anything, if you asked them.”

You’re sure she’s just flattering you, so you smile, and motion for the waitress before Meiko can order another bottle. You hope she doesn’t cry. A pretty, crying woman would have you flying into a panic. You prepare yourself to call Shoko for advice just in case, although for crying women matters Suguru would probably be your first choice.

The bill is placed. You figure you should pay since she took the liberty of inviting you out in the first place, but there’s a black card in her hand before you can even blink. The waitress smoothly takes it, just as Meiko’s fist slams down onto the table.

“They don’t deserve you!” She exclaims, drawing stares from other tables. “You’re too good for them!”

The server hurriedly rushes away, presumably to quickly check you two out.

Your server returns with Meiko’s card and helps you collect her. Luckily, she’s not drunk enough to be immobile, but she tilts precariously as you two walk her outside. The weight of her body leaning on yours is almost pleasant. She must be a lightweight. Like Satoru. You don’t mind it. It reminds you of the time you had had to drag Satoru to his room after he mistook Shoko’s flask of alcohol for apple juice. Outside, a sleek black car awaits.

“Meiko,” you say, “would you like to stay at my apartment tonight?”

Her voice is small as she hides her face in the crook of your neck. Your heart nervously starts in your chest. “...Do you mind?”

You manage a smile. “Not at all.”

The driver (the same driver from before you recognize), a kind looking middle aged man, takes Meiko as you thank the waitress. When the two of you are seated, Meiko slurs to him that she’ll be following you home tonight. You tell him your address.

When you arrive, the driver does a double take at your apartment building. Meiko sobers up enough to be able to walk up the three flights of stairs to your apartment by herself so she shoos the driver away as you promise to take care of her.

“Go,” you call as you open the door. “I’m home.”

Go is seated in front of the door, above the platform of the genkan, as if he’s been waiting for you, tail excitedly flicking from side to side on the floor as he regards you.

“Wow,” Meiko says. “That’s a beautiful cat.”

Pride blooms in your chest at her words. Go’s grown big enough to nearly encompass the length of your arms. You wonder if he’ll ever stop growing, but you don’t mind. More of him to hug and pet. You love him regardless. 

After taking off her heels, Meiko clambers to her knees and immediately starts petting Go. You can hear Go’s pleased purr as Meiko showers him with bellyrubs. 

When she finally pulls away, you lead her through the living room and then into your room, Go following beside your ankles. 

“You can take my bed.” Meiko opens her mouth to argue. “I insist.” You’re no stranger to sleeping on the couch anyway. And having Go next to you made things substantially better. You leave to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

Clutching a tall glass of water, you return to your room to see the top dresser of your drawer opened, and a white envelope in Meiko’s hand.

“O-oh,” you say quickly, placing the glass of water down on your desk. “That’s…”

“Did you write all of these?” Meiko places the envelope back down at the top of the stack in your drawer. You had momentarily moved the letters there until you could finish Satoru’s latest one to ensure all the postage was up to date. His birthday was coming soon after all. But you couldn’t risk the letters being seen by any of the recipients. Your letters weren’t meant for them—not as long as you were alive.

With Satoru's tendency to snoop through your things, their usual home was in a shoebox inside a bigger storage container underneath your bed, covered with spare blankets. You hadn’t been expecting visitors.

Meiko gestures to three stacks of letters, each stack addressed to a different person.

“Three every year,” you reply, with a small smile, closing the drawer. She must have seen Satoru’s name written on the envelope. You’re relieved when she doesn’t say anything else, only gazing at the picture frames on top of your dresser. 

“Your apartment,” her voice is quiet, “is very empty.”

“I’m not good at decorating. I’ve never had a lot of things.”

“The unsentimental type, huh.”

Meiko raises her hand, as if to examine the picture of Shoko on your desk, but then drops it. You open the covers for her. It’s easy to see how tired she is, the darkness of the night casting shadows on her face that make her expression muted. You should let her get rest.

Slowly, she gets into your bed.

“I wanted to enroll into jujustu high,” her voice is barely a whisper, covers pulled to her chin. “My father said my cursed technique wouldn’t amount to much as a jujutsu sorcerer. That I’d be killed on my first mission. I wanted—” her voice warbles, and you worry she might cry. “I could’ve been an auxiliary manager.”

Hesitantly, you reach out and pat her hair. You like it when Shoko pats your hair.

She blinks slowly, before her eyes close. A few seconds later, Meiko is peacefully sleeping in your bed. You exhale, relieved that sleep had come to her easily.

Freedom. It’s easy to take it for granted. Despite everything in your life, at least you had that. You could quit being a jujutsu sorcerer, move to the mountains unaccounted for, and live the rest of your life surrounded by rocks. There would be no great impact on jujutsu society. You’d be a fading memory at best.

You’re still thinking about it when, settled on the couch, with Go in your lap as you brush his fur, someone knocks on your door.

At this hour?

You set Go and the brush down, walking over to the genkan. You open the door.

A tall, slightly disheveled man greets you. From what you can make out in the sparse light coming from the small lamp of your living room, he’s nicely dressed, in an expensive looking suit, but his tie is loose around his neck in a way that reminds you of drunk businessmen splayed out in the streets awaiting the trains to open.

“Is Ikeda-san inside?” He asks sharply. You try to make out his face, but the darkness encroaches on his face, creating shadows. Your eyesight is going bad. Too many late nights in the archives. 

“She’s sleeping—”

You immediately move to block him from coming in when he takes a step forward. Go hisses from in between your ankles.

“I’m her husband,” he says, in a tone that leaves little room for argument. “I’m here to retrieve my wife.” After a slight pause, as if remembering to be courteous, he dips his head. “Thank you for taking care of her.”

“Of course.” You meet his gaze. “Though I don’t think it’s wise to move her now. Like I said before, she’s sleeping.” You don’t share that she had been drinking.

You think you imagine the flicker of displeasure on his face, but then his face is smoothly dispassionate. “It’s only proper that she should rest at home.”

You don’t move.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t feel comfortable letting her go home with you.” Not in her current condition.

“Forgive me,” he says. “But my relationship with Ikeda-san doesn’t pertain to you. It’s a separate matter altogether. I simply want her to rest at home.” In other words: it’s none of your business.

A politician through and through, you think. Despite the fact that this straitlaced man seems to be the very opposite of smiles and fake goodwill. 

It’s not. Your business. But you don’t think you can let her go home, not in good conscience. You wonder if this means making enemies with the future prime minister of Japan. Well, there wasn’t much he could do even if he wanted to retaliate.

“I’m sorry,” you say firmly. “I’ll take care of Ikeda-san until the morning. I may not look like it but I’m also a jujutsu sorcerer. A Grade One. I’m more than capable of watching over her.”

You leave out the part where your own missions have been on the backburner as of late. You’re sure Yaga-sensei is being considerate after what happened in Nagoya. You mentally thank Satoru and Suguru for all their hard work. 

Surprise on his face. “You’re a jujutsu sorcerer?”

Y-yes… “I am.” 

His fingers curl, unhappy. You can tell he’s hesitant. You understand it, but you already decided you wouldn’t let Meiko go home. It’s not something you’ll budge on. You’ll stand your ground.

“Then I leave her in your care,” he says curtly, straightening. He bows his head and you bow back. Then he’s gone, leaving you wondering if you imagined the entire interaction. You stare at your empty doorway until Go meows.

You close the door and sigh, sitting down on the elevated floor connected to the genkan as you scratch Go’s ear.

“Do you think the future prime minister of Japan hates me?”

He bumps his head into your thigh. You sigh again, picking him up as you stand. Like he said, it’s beyond you to assume their relationship, a nobody like you. Go immediately rolls onto his back in your arms, paws kicking up, nuzzling into you.

At least Go would never hate you.

You tread back to the couch, and put on a documentary about African meerkats. Go doesn’t take his eyes off the screen, entranced by the slim animals and their dietary habits. You eventually doze off.

—

You wake up to the sound of eggs sizzling and the smell of breakfast. You blink, cold winter sunlight streaming in through the window. You sit up.

“Good morning,” Meiko says. “I’m making breakfast.”

You look at her.

She snorts. “What, did you think a rich girl like me couldn’t cook? I lived by myself in college, you know. No servants at all.” Meiko must mistake your blank eyed stare for something more because she hastily says, “O-on the weekdays anyway.”

You didn’t know you had food in your fridge.

“I went to the grocery store around the block,” she says, answering your unspoken question. “What do you live on? All you had was cat food in the fridge!” She opens a cabinet and points. “And this huge jar of sugar!”

“Satoru’s,” you answer. Meiko looks even more confused.

You yawn. Go is already awake on your lap, awaiting his breakfast no doubt. “There were some eggs…” Leftovers from the groceries Shoko had bought you a week prior. 

“I can’t believe you…” She shakes her head, muttering something along the lines of ‘hopeless,’ before shooing you into the bathroom to wash.

After a quick stop to the bathroom, you feed Go and take a seat. Meiko puts a plate of eggs, bacon and sausage, and buttered toast in front of you.

“You didn’t have to.” You stare at the food. When was the last time you had breakfast in your apartment out of ingredients that had been bought? 

“It’s the least I could do,” she sounds exasperated. “I can’t believe you let me take your bed!”

You feed Go a leftover piece of raw bacon which he gratefully accepts, nudging into your hand. “As long as you were comfortable.”

She huffs, and you thank her for the meal. The two of you eat in brief silence.

“Have you ever wondered what you’d be if you weren't a jujutsu sorcerer?” Meiko asks suddenly, spearing a sausage with her fork. “Like if you had never known curses existed.”

You wonder where this is coming from.

“Not really,” you admit slowly, staring at your plate of food. “It’s not like it would have ever made a difference. It was also highly probable I’d be killed during a mission anyway.” No need to think about the possibilities, no point in contemplating the path of your life unless you were debating the merits of suicide.

“Oh. That’s morbid.” Then she says, “Do you still think that?”

You think about your last missions, and the last time you had a close call with death. It could be tomorrow, it could be next year. You suppose that’s always been the inevitable reality for you. Who would you be if not a jujutsu sorcerer? You had little to no experience of life outside the world of jujustu sorcery. No other friends. No family. “I do. I don’t even know if I’ll survive to the next year,” you say plainly.

“What if you do survive?” She presses. “What if you don’t die? Next year, the year after the next…What would retirement look like for you?”

You consider it. It’s a difficult question. It must show on your face because Meiko laughs as if she’s torn whether to be amused or sympathetic. “Is it really that hard?”

“I would move somewhere peaceful,” you say slowly. “The countryside. Maybe somewhere along the coast, near the beach.” You’d like that. Somewhere aligned with nature. Somewhere where you could watch the sunrise and the sunset. Somewhere, where the stars are visible.

“By yourself?”

“By myself.” You would live in solitude, once again, content knowing Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko were living happily. Nobody would ever hurt you again. Go headbutts your ankle. Your lips curl, leaning down to pet him. “With Go,” you correct. No, you wouldn’t be entirely alone.

“And then?”

“Die.”

Meiko makes a face.

It wouldn’t be bad, you think. It’s all you can ask for out of life, if any higher existence is merciful enough to grant it. A peaceful death. 

Meiko gawks at you. When she finally regains her words, she says, “Either you live as a jujutsu sorcerer or you die?”

You nod.

She opens her mouth. Then closes it. She sighs. “You’re so morbid.”

–

There are flowers on your desk. They’re lovely, a bouquet of a colorful array of flowers, some of which you recognize as japanese iris’, peonies, and wisteria. 

You examine them, fingering their delicate petals, running your hands through them to try to find a card. You think it had accidentally been delivered to the library by mistake. You don’t know who would send you flowers. 

There’s no identifying information on them, so you gingerly pick up the bouquet and walk out the library, all the way to Shoko’s office on the third floor of jujutsu high’s main building.

She raises an eye at the bundle in your arms when you knock and open the door.

“I’m glad I caught you before you went on break,” you say. “I found these flowers in the library, and I thought they’d brighten up your office.” You wrap your hands around the stems of the carefully trimmed flowers, and feel the thrum of your cursed energy imbue the flowers.

You place the bouquet down on the closest cabinet to you. As long as nobody intentionally destroyed them, they’d stay beautiful forever. “I’ll find you a vase.”

She swivels in her chair to face you, scrutinizing the flowers. “Are you sure? Those look like serious money.”

You play with a petal. “I think they were delivered to the library by mistake, but I can’t find a card.”

A knowing smile plays on her lips. “Men give women flowers when they want to apologize. Any groveling men in mind?”

You look at her. “No.”

She huffs a breath of laughter. “I’ll take them,” she says airily. She stands. “Are you going to join me on my break?”

You give her an apologetic look. “Paperwork.”

She narrows her eyes. “Fine, fine, but you owe me some of your time this weekend. It’s been a while since we went shopping.”

Shopping with Shoko always meant a good time. You’re looking forward to the weekend already. You wave her off, and back to the library you go. Just as you step into the gardens leading to the library, you hear a voice call your name.

“How’s your cat?” Hideo asks in greeting, jogging up to your side. “Have you named him?”

“Hello.” You smile. “His name is Go, and he’s very big.”

“Go…” Hideo’s eyebrows momentarily draw together, understanding dawning on his face. “I’m guessing it’s not because five is your lucky number, huh.”

You laugh. “He looks just like Satoru.” You adore him. 

The two of you continue to the library. 

“Has Go met his namesake yet?”

“Not...” Your smile slips, thinking of your last encounter with Satoru and Suguru. “Yet.”

“Well, all in good time, I suppose,” Hideo says easily, after a beat of contemplative silence. 

You think about the flowers in Shoko’s office, and what type of vase they would look best in. Maybe Meiko would know. “There were flowers in the library.”

Hideo grins, amused. “A secret admirer?”

You blink. “I don’t think so.” A secret admirer? You? “I’m sure it was a mistake. I gave them to Shoko to brighten up her office.”

A wince crosses his face. It melts into a chuckle. You look at him curiously.

“You’re just a normal girl, huh?”

He grins, eyes bright, fond with a familiarity you still aren’t used to, but for some reason the comment makes your chest ache. 

Normal. 

You must be making a face because he straightens, mostly sobering. “Ah…how do I put this,” he scratches the underside of his chin. “When we were younger you always seemed…older. Somehow. It’s easy to lose sight of what’s normal in this world. I guess talking about love and secret admirers just reminded me…”

You tilt your head. 

He clears his throat. “I prefer the person you are right now though,” he says easily. “You smile now” —like a normal girl— “and get sent flowers from a secret admirer” —like a normal girl—

You stare at him. Then lower your gaze to your feet. “Is that…bad?” You wonder if he’s making fun of you. You don’t think those flowers were intended for you.

Nobody has ever called you normal. If anything, you were abnormal. If you were a normal girl, maybe you’d be married like that woman you saw months ago. If you were a normal girl, maybe everything would be better.

If you were a normal girl would you be happier? Would things make more sense? You can’t imagine it. First Meiko asks you about a hypothetical future, and now Hideo seems to be under the mistaken impression that you are a normal girl.

It…

You don’t hate it. The thought peeves you more than you thought it would.

Hideo blinks rapidly. “No, of course not!” He frantically waves his hands. “Ignore me! I have a bad habit of running my mouth occasionally!” His gaze turns worried. “I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine,” you respond, meaning it. You smile. “I don’t mind.”

Normal, normal, normal.

Hideo walks you inside the library. Out of the corner of your eye you can see his neck crane to look at the domed skylight in the center of the library, the interest clear on his face. The building is in a unique shape: a heptagon, walls lined with bookshelves that fit the shape of the building. “I didn’t know this building was a library. Cozy.”

“I think they converted it,” you say. You’ve always liked this library, away from the bustle of the campus. Not many people knew about it. You discovered this building your second year of high school, and found a thin layer of dust on all the books and scrolls. It was clear it hadn’t been occupied in a while. It wasn’t until you had stayed inside for a day or two, unaccounted for, reading whatever you could salvage, that Shoko had found you, Satoru and Suguru not too far behind. Yaga thought you had never come back from a previous mission.

Shoko helped you clear the library. Satoru and Suguru carried a desk and chair into the center, right beneath the skylight, and suddenly, it was a study. Yours.

“I like it here,” you say quietly. “It’s peaceful.”

As soon as you finish your sentence, you hear the large wooden double doors open and slam shut as Satoru strides in. You flinch at the noise.

“...?”

Satoru folds his arms as he rests his weight against one of the bookshelves. He doesn’t need to take off his glasses for you to know he’s keenly unhappy in a way that fills up the entire room.

“...”

“...”

“...”

Satoru’s jaw ticks.

You move your gaze to the floor, sensing Hideo looking from you to Satoru curiously. Greater men have scurried away from the palpable tension Satoru has injected into the room, but Hideo seems oblivious to it.

“Guess I should leave the two of you to it,” Hideo finally says. “Sorry for the intrusion!”

You startle, looking up, mouth opening to deny his statement, but Satoru’s flat expression snaps your mouth back shut.

“T-Then I’ll see you…” you say quietly, wanting him to stay, to buffer conversation between you and Satoru anyway. But that would be unfair to Hideo. Satoru and Suguru have vocalized their dislike of him, for what you aren’t sure. You think Hideo is similar to Haibara in temperament, with his winning personality and easy going conversational air, and the two of them seem to get along with Haibara just fine.

He stops. Then turns back. “Next week, right?”

You blink. Next…week…? “Yes…?”

Hideo smiles, as a crease forms between Satoru’s eyebrows. Hideo slightly bows in Satoru’s direction before taking his leave. You hold your breath as the doors close once more, leaving you alone with…

Satoru is in front of you before you can blink, pushing you back into your desk. Your knees slightly buckle. 

“You didn’t want him to leave,” Satoru says, accusatory, pulling his glasses off his face. “You wanted that third rate sorcerer to stay!”

You frown. “That’s rude.”

He ignores you. “Where’s your phone?”

You look at him curiously. Where had you left it again? Satoru opens his mouth, then closes it so quickly you hear the click of his teeth.

“Is…” you sigh. “Is something wrong?” You would rather he just get it over with. Telling you your outburst that day was unwarranted, and that you had been a terrible person and friend and human being in general. He wouldn’t be wrong.

“No,” he says through gritted teeth. “Nothing is wrong.”

Something, you think, is clearly wrong.

Silence.

All you can think of are Meiko’s words. The Gojo elders who traveled from Fukuouka just to convince Satoru to get married, preferably, to Sasaski. They want him to wed a woman of standing and lineage. They want him to have children. Then take a few mistresses, and impregnate them for backup heirs. 

Freedom, you once again think, is immeasurable. You’re sad for Satoru. You want him to be happy. It’s all you’ve ever wanted for him and Suguru and Shoko. It makes you relieved and happy to know Suguru would always be by his side. Any sorrows or joys, would be shared together. 

Satoru exhales roughly. In seconds he goes from bearing down at you, gaze alight, to sinking down to his knees in front of you.

You stare at him, confused.

There’s a loud slap of noise that has your eyes going wide.

When Satoru looks back up at you, his cheeks are stinging red, and handprinted. You reach out immediately, fingertips brushing over the heat of his sculpted face, wondering why he had slapped himself.

“Sato—”

“You know, Suguru and I were idiots.”

Oh. “No,” It wasn’t their fault. It was yours. “I shouldn’t have—”

You’re fully backed into the desk, taking a small seat (there’s nowhere else to move) as Satoru rises, hand closing around your nape. He brings you close and kisses you greedily, a moment’s indulgence, until he draws away, letting you breathe as you wonder what just happened.

“There’s nothing I love more than seeing you think,” he murmurs against your lips, piercing blue gaze never leaving yours for a second, “but right now I need you to stop thinking and listen.”

He sinks back down, expression almost smug when you close your mouth. He takes your hands, thumbs rubbing and pressing down on your knuckles soothingly, if not in an almost agitated manner. You’ve seen him do the same thing to Suguru. You don’t think he’s aware of it.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it,” he admits, expression unusually forlorn. “I forgot…” he hesitates, dropping that line of thinking altogether. “Suguru and I get carried away when it comes to you.” There’s not a hint of amusement on his face as he squeezes your hands. “We don’t like seeing you cry.”

He says it with such a truthful earnestness that your throat goes tight. He’s still him, you think. That very same long limbed mischievous boy who laughed loudly and smiled broadly and clung a little too hard to your side, as if unaware of his own strength. His arm perpetually slung over Suguru’s shoulder like he was always meant to be there. No matter how far you think Satoru and Suguru are, those are the memories you’ll carry in your heart. Those sun slicked, sepia tinged memories, echoing of laughter. 

Maybe the only person who had changed was you. 

You look down at your entwined fingers.

You, you, you. It’s all you.

You’re a bit embarrassed. You don’t think you cried. Not in front of them at least. You had gone home and locked your door first. I’m sorry too, you want to say, but somehow with Satoru gazing up at you, the words are lodged in your throat. He looks devastatingly sincere. You don’t doubt his words.

“You should forgive us,” Satoru says lightly, almost innocently. Too innocently. That should’ve been more than enough for alarm bells to sound, but you had been preoccupied by Satoru’s show of sincerity.

You blink when his fingers easily wrap around the length of your right ankle. And when he firmly presses your foot to his shoulder, you stare.

You try to drop your foot, move it away, but Satoru’s grip is iron clad. A smile is slowly sneaking onto the corners of Satoru’s lips, making him look more incriminating than anything. You don’t like that look. Not at all.

“Satoru—”

“Would it make you feel better to push me around a little?” He asks breathily, eyes glinting mischievously. “You can kick me if you want, I don’t mind.” His voice lowers. “ Anywhere , really.”

You sweat. Trying to pull your ankle out of his grip isn’t working. 

“I’m sorry too,” you blurt out, unable to comprehend how you ended up with your foot on Satoru’s shoulder while he gives you his consent to kick him. “I forgive you, I forgive you—”

“No needa be shy!” He moves your foot to his chest, pressing it down. “Just give me one good kick—”

You give him a flinty, dead eyed stare. “That’s not funny.”

He returns it with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not laughing.”

“Satoru,” you say weakly.

Finally, he releases your foot, and you are allowed to jerk your leg down. You’re instantly relieved, planting both feet firmly on the ground as you dust away the dirt on his shoulder and chest. He sighs, disappointed in a way that perturbs you.

“You’re so difficult sometimes,” you murmur, considerably warming up to his presence.

“That’s right,” he hums, idly trailing a finger down your clothed leg. “You and Suguru have your hands full, I’m sure.” He peers up at you daringly, looking every bit the petulant boy the Gojo clan had spoiled rotten in their adoration of the first six eyes user in centuries. “I’m worth it though, aren’t I?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Sometimes, I wonder that,” you say, (and mean) seriously.

“I didn’t hear that,” he says pleasantly. 

“...If you say so…”

You think you imagined the twitch of his eyebrow. 

You can’t help but smile. This is how things should be, you think. Now, if you could talk to Suguru, you’re sure you could draw this entire incident to a close. You wouldn’t have to skirt around the two of them with feelings of impending doom clouding your mind. 

“Well,” Satoru says casually. “Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, apologies and all,” he promptly gets to his feet, so quickly you blink, gaze following him up. His face transforms into a full blown pout. “You’re a true sadist!”

You gawk at him. So soon after reconciliation!?

Satoru scowls. “Throwing Suguru and I away so quickly?”

“???????”

“Who said you were allowed to see and talk to other men!” He frowns even more vigorously at the confusion on your face. “Don’t act so surprised! Suguru’s been sulking every single day! He’s been downright distressed. The girls think he’s depressed! Again!”

You wince, recognizing the tell tale signs of another common Satoru overblown overreaction. Very high school reminiscent you think.

“S-Satoru…”

Satoru sighs dramatically, glaring at you. “Any day now, he might do something drastic.”

You stare at him.

“That’s why you should never get mad at us ever again,” he finishes succinctly, looking at you expectantly.

You stare at him. 

When it’s clear you have no response, Satoru brushes off the silence so easily you think this is how others can get tripped up at the pace in which he leads. If you weren’t so used to it, you’d be one of them.

Satoru scans the small room. “Where are our flowers?”

“Oh, they were yours?”

Satoru levels you with a flinty gaze that would send others running to the hills. It elicits no strong response from you. His tone is chilly, displeased. “There’s another man sending you flowers?”

You give him an unimpressed look so withering that he clears his throat, almost meekly.

“Suguru’s idea. I picked them.”

“Well, they’re lovely,” a small smile on your lips. “They’re in Shoko’s office.”

“Of course they are,” he sighs, resigned. He regards you silently for a minute. “Did you like them?”

“I did.” You’re unsure where this line of questioning is headed. You slightly tilt your head to the side in a question.

“They were for you,” Satoru says. “I picked them for you.” He takes a step forward until your legs touch. “I wanted you to have them, so why’d ya have to give them away?”

You blink at the hint of roughness that bleeds through Satoru’s fixed (Suguru’s work) pronunciation. In hindsight, if the flowers were for you…it was awfully rude of you to have given them away wasn’t it?

“I…understand. I’m…sorry for giving your flowers away.”

Now he looks peeved. “They weren’t mi…” he groans, looking at you with an exasperated warmth. Then his eyes narrow. “You’re sorry, huh?” 

You don’t…like that look in his eyes.

You don’t have time to respond, because Satoru’s finger comes to rest on the button fastened right below your neck. Uh oh. A sensation familiar to deja-vu suddenly envelopes you. 

You’ve been getting a lot of those lately. 

Your face warms as Satoru’s tongue runs over his bottom lip, playfully. The button comes undone easily. His voice is playful, but his gaze burns. “You can get on your knees—” your shirt is half undone, your black bra peeking out “—or I can get on mine.”

You don’t think he’s intending to give you a choice, because he’s so quickly down on his knees and spreading your legs apart, you’re blinking from the whiplash.

“Wait—!” You put your hands on his shoulders, thanking whatever deity was looking down on you today that you had put on pants instead of whatever easy skirt and sweater outfit you usually chose when sleep riddled in the morning. 

Satoru smiles pleasantly. Too suspiciously well mannered when his fingers are on the zipper of your pants. “Yes?”

“H-how about a kiss instead…?”

You figure it would be easier to untangle yourself from him then…

Satoru’s fingers curl into your thighs, pinning you to the table. You’re surprised to see him seriously consider it. And relieved. His gaze is weighted with all the seriousness of negotiating a crucial deal. “How long?”

Your eyebrows furrow. You’re not sure how long a kiss should be. You hesitantly bring your hands to cup his face and lower your head to gently meet his lips. He’s as still as a statue, except for the sound of his breathing; deep slow breaths that overtake the rise and fall of his chest. His lips are immeasurably soft. A fact that you can only appreciate as time slows.

You take a moment to look at him. In the silence, you can admire the fine lines of his sculpted face and the inviting curve of his lips all within the grasp of your hands. He looks softer like this, happy. It makes you happy. 

Satoru’s eyelashes flicker open, long white lashes framing the blues of the sky trapped in his gaze. You offer him a smile, a small quirk of your lips as you turn a hand over and lightly brush his cheek. You blink, taken aback when Satoru lightly takes your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckle. 

His eyes flash, engulfed by a dark hunger.

You’re flat on your back against the desk, and there’s no time to think before Satoru presses forward, claiming your lips in an open mouthed kiss that steals your breath away. He’s trapped you into the desk, the weight of his body pushing you down. His fingers wind through your hair, cradling the back of your head. 

You can feel his need between your legs, throbbing against you, all harsh panting and heat.

“Satoru,” you mumble the best you can with his lips still eager to meet yours. “We should—”

Your words are smothered when Satoru’s tongue licks into your mouth purposefully. You can tell he’s unhappy to be separated by layers of fabric. Your panties stick to your core, damp, as Satoru begins to lightly rock into you, straining against the material covering your heat. 

“Satoru—”

He moans into your mouth, “Just like that.” 

You snap your mouth shut, but Satoru doesn’t seem to notice as his lips trail across your neck with a single minded purpose. You feel his lips on your shoulder, as they glide across your chest.

Satoru’s lips are on yours again before you can even blink in an open mouthed kiss, tongue thoroughly exploring your mouth. His hands are tight, pressing into your waist, body flush against yours. 

You mentally apologize. Then, you bite him.

Your teeth close over Satoru’s bottom lip. Hard. You almost wince yourself. 

To your horror, Satoru does not release you like you thought he would.

You feel his body shudder to a near tremble, and the sharp exhale-like moan that leaves his lips. His eyes look delighted in their frenzied state. He presses closer to you, erection prominent and twitching, holding you even tighter. Your heart races in your chest as Satoru buries himself into your neck, hips grinding into yours. 

You force your hands out against his chest. “Satoru,” you say tightly. “Someone could come in.”

That gives him pause. He rises, just slightly, enough to look down on you. You must look like a mess. His tongue swipes over the blood on his lips, and then he smiles.

“Oh?”

This is bad.

“I should talk to Suguru first,” you say quickly, avoiding his gaze. “You know…”

There's a brief pause.

“Hm.” He begrudgingly acquiesces, allowing you enough space to rise up. He briefly cups your face, before a hand falls to your neck. A dull ache flares when Satoru’s thumb presses down. You swallow, trying to calm your beating heart, all despite the fact that his hardness is within plain view.

You try not to stare at it as you busy yourself with buttoning your shirt. You can feel him grinning at you.

“And Suguru says I’m the one with no restraint.” Crossing his arms, he bears down at you expectantly. HIs foot taps up and down.

Your nerves are still frayed, electric, but you feel…almost better. Lighter. Despite the unexpected turn your meeting had taken, you’re happy. 

“I love you Satoru,” you say, finishing up your top button. You really do. If he and Suguru and Shoko could be guaranteed happiness for the rest of their lives, you truly would have no problem dying in the next hour.

After straightening out your shirt, you finally look up. Satoru blinks at you, but there’s a flush to his neck, lips warbling.

You haven’t seen Satoru this flustered in ages. You should enjoy it now while it lasts. 

“Where’d that come from?” He manages with a croak. He regains himself, straightening, but there's a pleased glint to his eye. Like a preening cat.

“I just wanted to,” you say happily. “Because I love you.”

You stand, rising on your toes to pat his head. Go likes it when you pet him. Meiko had liked it too.  

Satoru stares at you, but he doesn’t push your hand away. He closes his eyes with an exhale.

“Are we…good?” you drop your hand, much to the disappointment that overtakes Satoru’s face.

“Always,” he confirms, and a part of you thinks he means it.

You smile. Everything’s going to be alright. As long as Satoru can smile at you like that, then things can’t possibly be as bad as you may have envisioned. You hear Meiko’s words once more: The Gojo clan elders and higher ups from Fukuouka are convening in Tokyo to try and convince Gojo to get married. They want him to have children.

It's odd. That such an important thing hadn't reached your ears. According to Meiko, those elders never left Fukuouka. A matter of the upmost importance. Nobody told you about it. Not even Shoko. It's none of your business. That's what you've been telling yourself, despite the disappointment swirling in your gut. You wish they could have confided in you.  

“Do you want children?”

The look of interest on his face quickly fades as his gaze turns discerning. “What brought this on?”

“Nothing,” you say quickly, intuitively deciding that telling Satoru of your excursion with Meiko would be disastrous right now. “Just curious I guess…”

“About how babies are made?” His eyebrows waggle.

“No. I know about that.” Speaking of which. You’d need condoms.

Though you aren’t quite sure how well Satoru would react to you asking him what their to-go brand of condoms are. Maybe you’d ask Suguru instead.

“You weren’t at your place last Sunday,” Satoru says casually.

You blink, caught up in your worries about selecting the wrong condoms. Sunday…that had been…dinner with Meiko. 

“Oh, I was out.”

“Out,” Satoru repeats. “Where?”

“With a…” you mentally apologize for being presumptuous, “friend…”

Satoru frowns. “You don’t have friends.”

Other than me, Suguru, and Shoko.

The unspoken words are pointed. You smile nervously.

You aren’t as popular as Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko. That’s a given. Shoko gets invited to for drinks with the auxiliary managers every other day. Visiting jujutsu sorcerers have been known to ask her out for coffee. You’re sure it’s tripled for Satoru and Suguru.

“There are some…” you clear your throat. “I have friends other than you and Shoko and Suguru.”

Ijichi. Utahime….Hideo. Maybe Meiko.

But to be a friend…they’d have to consider you a friend right? It has to go both ways. You’ve never received verbal confirmation or anything. You shouldn’t have automatically assumed…but Meiko had invited you out hadn’t she? She wanted to see you. To talk to you. There were no ulterior motives. She wanted to get to know you. Isn’t that how friendships start? You don’t even remember how Satoru and you became friends. One day he hated you, and then he didn’t. It’s not that much of a surprise. He’s always been a little capricious at heart like that. Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko had seamlessly blended into your life, like they had always been there. 

Satoru disregards your words. “You don’t need them.”

He doesn’t believe you. Your face warms in embarrassment. Of course he’d think that. You stay silent awkwardly.

Satoru hums. “So Megumi, huh.” He looks amused. “You should’ve just come over to the apartment.”

“R-right…” Sometimes, you truly believed it was easier to let Satoru think what he wanted. It was harmless anyway. So you’d let him.

He gently pulls you up to your feet. “I’ll drive you home.”

“But Suguru…”

“In Yokohama." He picks at something at your shoulder, but his knuckles brush your neck. "He won’t be back until tomorrow. So eager to see him?”

“Yes,” you admit. “I want to see him and I want…to talk to him.” If these past months have taught you anything, it’s that one of the things you miss most of all is talking to Suguru. Suguru is more than an excellent conversationalist, he’s attentive in a way others aren’t. Satoru and Suguru both. They make you feel seen. Satoru, when he looks at you. Suguru, when he listens.

You cherish it. You’ll miss it.

At your response, Satoru groans, falling to his knees once more. You blink at him, wondering what caused the sudden dramatics.

His fingers grip your pants, like a child hiding behind his mother’s dress. 

He looks up at you. You suddenly get the image of a withered man in the desert, dying of thirst, and you already know what he’s going to ask. You step back. His hand falls loosely back to his side.

“No,” you say sternly, in the same manner you tell Go he can’t knock over your vases. 

Then you walk outside.

[seafoamreadings]

week of july 7th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: mars inching closer to uranus can have people (including yourself) thinking you're a bit (a lot?) unstable... especially when it comes to resources like money. but maybe you just aren't fully settled on your values. the conjunction doesn't perfect until early next week but you feel antsy from now. that doesn't mean you have to act on every impulse.

taurus: a series of earthy and venusian trines grants you unprecedented powers of balance - working enough but not too much, resting plenty but not getting lazy, etc. but the focus will need to be on what works for you, not what other people think you should do.

gemini: jupiter blesses your past and future this week by interacting with the nodes of the moon. in particular, bond with old friends or loves, and make new ones. try to stay out of trouble but if you find yourself in it anyway, it's easier to escape unscathed than usual. turn all perceived hardships into opportunities as well as you are able.

cancerians: venus heads for leo this week, but not until she has already had a poignant trine with neptune. this trine helps you really see the beauty in all things, including the hard things. it is also a trine of the highest forms of love.

leo: solar leo season approacheth. mercury is already there, and venus joins this week. your ruling luminary, sol himself, arrives before very long. this is quite energizing after so much earth and water for so long. enjoy it without getting carried away, and do look after your heart both literally and metaphorically.

virgo: your risk of clandestine, torrid, or even unsavory affairs increases this week so make sure what you are pursuing is what you are wanting, especially if you find yourself considering a dalliance outside of an established relationship. such dallying has consequences, even if they are worth it. but even outside of romance, delulu fantasies may take hold. enjoy them, but don't put all your eggs in an unhinged basket.

libra: the atmosphere is romantic, but without necessarily being productive, healthy, or wise. of course, librans are all about romance. but you're also all about balance, so don't get too off track daydreaming (or living) a soap opera or romcom.

scorpio: once venus has made her way into leo, as she will during this week, it's a great atmosphere for improving your reputation. you can even do this from the shadows, rather than directly putting yourself in a spotlight, but to be seen, whether in person or in photos or simply in the imagination as people talk about you, is auspicious at this time.

sagittarius: finally, the fire vibes really start to increase. this is great news for you if you have been itching to travel, learn something new, or make some spiritual move. your mind is expansive as ever, and probably sharper than usual too.

capricorn: this week comes with a lot of structure, which suits you well, but not in any direct sense. you will have to hone in on it. it is like not knowing you have a skeleton, but understanding that you don't have to lie in a heap on the floor if you don't want to.

aquarius: your sign is one that has two ruling planets. one is the old god of time, saturn, chronos. the other is the new time - the kind that isn't linear, or even properly cyclical, but instead is everywhere at once. but this week, you'll fare better if you operate on saturn time. one thing at a time. even in the knowledge that it's only a useful construction.

pisces: it wouldn't be shocking if your eyes turned into hearts this week and everything around you took on a rosey hue. dive into the romantic feeling and enjoy it. romanticize everything. but keep a toe on the ground because sometimes it helps to be just a tad bit practical.

[stnkiconverse]

Hi! I read your headcanons for Toby and when I saw you mention his soft spot for animals being directed toward his S/O somewhat I immediately thought of one of my OCs who's a three tailed kitsune lol ( ik it's cringe but who cares)

So, it got me thinking (rare occurrence), what about an animal hybrid!reader? How would Toby react when first seeing them? Would he warm up to affection easier/quicker because if it? Would he be interested in their animalistic behaviors and habits? Would he study thier animal type to try to help accommodate them better? Would he have to resist the urge to touch their ears/tail/wings/etc. at first or is it less excited curiosity and more careful and distant curiosity initially? Idk, I just be pondering, feel free to ignore its after 3 am here lmao

Toby x Animal Hybrid!Reader (Reminder: I stick VERY closely to my HCs and WILL apply it to all my work unless you refuse it in your request!!)

Initial Encounter:

- When Toby first sees you, his initial reaction is a mix of shock and fascination. He's seen many strange things working with the other pastas, but an animal hybrid is new territory.

- He stands there for a moment, taking in your appearance, before his curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches cautiously.

Curiosity:

- Toby’s curiosity is piqued by your animalistic features. He finds himself watching you more often, intrigued by how you move, react, and interact with your surroundings.

- At first, his curiosity is more careful and distant. He doesn't want to overwhelm you or come off as intrusive.

Observing Habits:

- Toby begins to pay attention to your habits and behaviors, noting how they differ from or are similar to human behaviors. He finds your animalistic quirks endearing and often smiles to himself when he sees you acting on them.

- He might quietly sketch you in his notepad, capturing your unique traits and movements.

Research and Accommodation:

- Wanting to make you feel more comfortable, Toby starts researching your animal type. He looks up dietary needs, environmental preferences, and any other specific information that could help him understand you better.

- He makes subtle changes in his room and shared spaces to accommodate your needs, such as adding more pillows or blankets for nesting or finding foods that you particularly enjoy.

Warming Up:

- Toby warms up to your affection surprisingly quickly. Your gentle and intuitive nature helps soothe his anxieties and tics. He finds comfort in your presence and starts seeking you out when he feels particularly stressed or overwhelmed.

- He discovers that your touch has a calming effect on him, helping to ease his insomnia and tics.

Physical Affection:

- At first, Toby has to resist the urge to touch your animalistic features, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. His fingers often twitch with the desire to feel your ears, tail, or wings.

- Over time, as you become more comfortable with each other, you give him permission to touch your features. He does so with great care and gentleness, marveling at the textures and sensations.

Mutual Comfort:

- You both find comfort in each other's presence. When Toby hums to himself out of stress, you instinctively come closer, offering silent support. Your animal instincts pick up on his moods, and you adjust your behavior to help calm him.

- Toby, in turn, learns to read your body language and responds with appropriate affection or space, depending on what you need.

Shared Interests:

- Toby discovers that you also enjoy puzzles and drawing, finding common ground that strengthens your bond. He teaches you different puzzle techniques, and you share your drawing skills with him, creating a collaborative and supportive relationship.

Adventures Together:

- Knowing your love for nature and the outdoors, Toby often takes you out on night-time walks. These moments become your special time together, away from the chaos of the mansion.

- He shows you how to skateboard, and despite his initial clumsiness, you both have a lot of fun learning and laughing together.

Protective Nature:

- Toby becomes incredibly protective of you, always making sure you're safe and comfortable. He’s ready to defend you against any threats, using his skills and knowledge to keep you out of harm’s way.

- In return, you use your heightened senses to alert him to any dangers, creating a mutual protective dynamic that strengthens your bond.

Overall, your relationship with Toby is one of mutual understanding and support. His fascination with your animalistic traits is balanced by a deep respect for your boundaries, leading to a nurturing and affectionate bond that helps both of you grow and heal.

Hope this was good enough!!

[raybittechnologies]

2024 UX/UI Design Trends: Pioneering the Future of User Experience

In 2024, the worlds of UX and UI design continue to evolve based on the progress that technology brings along with it as well as the increasing knowledge of the needs of the user. This has moved the focus more toward making experiences inclusive, personalized, and sustainable. Let’s dive into some of the key trends shaping UX/UI design this year.

1. Embracing Inclusivity in Design

Inclusive design considers the notion of creating digital products to be accessible by a very diverse audience. It means considering age, ability, and cultural background, with everyone being able to get around the interface without problems. Designers are putting more features in place to make this possible, like changing text size, using voice navigation, and generally using simple, intuitive layouts.

Why It Matters: Through this strategy, brands create an accessible environment, enabling them to touch the lives of more customers and increase the loyalty level among users, ultimately leading to a more equitable digital landscape.

2. Tailored Experiences Through Personalization

It will be an era of 2024, and the heart of UX design is to be personalized, taking this to the next level of artificial intelligence and machine learning. A designer, from users’ behavior and preference, can craft something which is unique to his need, like customizing the dashboards and giving some personalized content suggestions.

Why It Matters: Personalized experiences increase the level of user satisfaction and engagement at a high level as they make people feel valued and understood.

3. Immersive Interactions with VR and AR

Virtual Reality and Augmented Reality are becoming more prominent in the field other than entertainment. Such applications are seen in retail, education, and training. The technology is fun, interactive, and immerses users in an experience with a lifelike view of the product being experienced.

Why It Matters: An immersive experience makes the interaction of users with the interface memorable, making the whole experience rich.

4. The Power of Micro-Interactions

Small micro-interactions are little things such as animation or any other visual feedback element within a system while users are interacting. Subtle animations such as the changing of a color on the press of a button, like on clicking it or notification bubbles, give an easier flow to an experience.

Why It Matters: Micro-interactions are crucial because they make user experience not just friendly but more usable and pleasurable by making an interface seem almost alive.

5. The Aesthetic Appeal of Glassmorphism

Glassmorphism is that trend of giving UI elements a frosted glass effect for depth and layering. It is an almost entirely modern way of putting forth information in a tastefully beautiful yet clear and focused manner.

Why it Matters: Because it has combined aesthetics with functionality, glassmorphism may potentially make interfaces more interesting without overburdening the user.

6. Commitment to Sustainable Design

Sustainability is becoming a crucial concern in UX/UI designing. Sustainable design is how digital product development can lower the environmental impact of its product through efficient coding, reduced server load, and making use of eco-friendly hosting solutions.

Why It Matters: Brands that focus more on sustainability will be highly rated by consumers who go green and will attract lots of loyal users.

7. Bold Typography for Impact

Typography plays a great role in the overall user experience. This year, designers have started switching to using bold, all-cap fonts, as well as fonts that are retro-style inspired but can get attention with reflecting the personality of the brand. That way, such typographic choices develop a visually impressive appearance to general communication.

Why It Matters: Well-chosen typography can potentially make communication easier to read and will form a more enjoyable brand identity.

8. Intelligent Assistance with AI Chatbots

AI-powered chatbots have changed the way customer services operate. This tool provides answers to users’ questions on an instant basis and takes their preferences into consideration while formulating a response.

Why It matters: Such a response time and customization generate tremendous user satisfaction and process optimization within support services.

9. Strengthening Security with Blockchain

In a digital landscape fraught with privacy concerns, blockchain is emerging as a reliable answer to the need for safety enhancement. Blockchain increases the level of trust and transparency of user transactions by decentralizing storage.

Why It matters: The use of blockchain is a method to alleviate some security concerns that make people feel safer while interacting with digital products.

10. The Visual Depth of 3D Layouts

The use of 3D elements in UX/UI design gives the effect of depth and realism. The layers and 3D effects help designers create more interactive interfaces to guide users on their digital journey.

Why It Matters: 3D layouts capture attention and encourage exploration, leading to a richer user experience.

11. Mastering the Use of White Space

White space, or negative space, is a very critical element of design that cleans up the layout and adds an air of organization to it. With the addition of strategic white space, designers are able to promote readability, draw attention from the user, and really enhance the overall aesthetic value of an interface.

Why It Matters: Properly used white space creates the feeling of balance and clarity, resulting in a nicer and more efficient user experience.

Conclusion

The 2024 UX/UI design landscape is all about inclusivity, personalization, and sustainability. These trends are going to help designers make digital experiences useful and meaningful to users. Moving ahead into the future of digital design, these trends are equally important to be tracked and adhered to in order to come up with outstanding user experiences.

Whether you are a designer, developer, or just curious about the world of digital interactions, these trends offer great opportunities to elevate user experiences and build lasting connections in an ever-evolving digital world.

[exploring-chatgpt]

Introduction

In the past few years, conversational AI tools like ChatGPT have moved from the realm of novelty into serious, practical use. These tools, which many initially saw as fun distractions or curiosities, are increasingly recognised for their potential in various settings—from customer service to creative work. But beyond these obvious applications, there lies a more subtle, perhaps even more profound use: helping us organise our thoughts.

Many of us, myself included, have experienced the mental fatigue that comes from trying to sort through a jumble of unstructured ideas or emotions. It can be exhausting, a sort of cognitive gridlock that leaves us feeling stuck. This is where AI, surprisingly, comes in. The aim of this article is to explore how tools like ChatGPT might assist us in this process—structuring our thoughts, easing the burden of decision-making, and potentially even supporting our mental health and well-being.

The Cognitive Challenge of Unstructured Thoughts

We all know the feeling of having too many thoughts swirling around in our heads. Sometimes it’s a tangle of ideas when we’re trying to make a big decision; other times, it’s a swirl of emotions that we just can’t seem to untangle. Cognitive science tells us that this is partly because our brains are wired in a way that limits how much information we can handle at once. Cognitive load theory, for example, shows that our working memory has a finite capacity (Sweller, 1988). When we overload it, our ability to think clearly drops.

Daniel Kahneman, in his book *Thinking, Fast and Slow*, breaks down our thought processes into two systems: System 1, which is fast, intuitive, and automatic, and System 2, which is slow, deliberate, and analytical (Kahneman, 2011). When we’re trying to organise complex thoughts or navigate emotional terrain, we’re typically engaging System 2. It’s the part of our mind that requires effort and focus, and frankly, it can get tired. This is where tools that help externalise and structure our thoughts come in handy. Research has long suggested that externalising our thoughts—whether by writing them down or speaking them aloud—can significantly enhance our problem-solving abilities and emotional regulation (Pennebaker & Chung, 2011).

Conversational AI can be seen as a new kind of tool in this externalisation process. By interacting with AI, we can offload some of the heavy lifting involved in organising our thoughts, freeing up mental space for deeper reflection and decision-making.

How Conversational AI Can Help

So, how exactly does AI help with this? There are a few key ways that conversational AI, like ChatGPT, can support us in structuring our thoughts:

- **Summarisation and Clarification**: AI can help condense large volumes of information into manageable chunks, making it easier for us to grasp the essential points. This is particularly useful when we’re overwhelmed by too much information and can’t see the wood for the trees.

- **Idea Generation and Reframing**: Sometimes, we get stuck in a particular way of thinking. AI can introduce new ideas or perspectives that we might not have considered, prompting us to think outside the box. This can be invaluable in brainstorming sessions or when trying to overcome mental blocks.

- **Cognitive Reappraisal and Emotional Processing**: Engaging with AI can also help us rethink negative thoughts or emotions. By asking probing questions and providing neutral feedback, AI can facilitate cognitive reappraisal, a strategy that has been shown to reduce emotional distress (Gross, 2002).

Interestingly, there’s emerging evidence from neuroscience suggesting that tools like these can positively impact mental health. Reducing cognitive load, for example, has been linked to lower anxiety and better emotional regulation (Ochsner & Gross, 2005). In this sense, interacting with AI—whether we’re aware of it or not—could be doing more than just helping us think; it could be helping us feel better, too.

Effectiveness vs. Receptiveness: Addressing Skepticism

Of course, not everyone is immediately on board with the idea of using AI to help organise their thoughts. And that’s fair. There’s a healthy amount of skepticism out there, much of it rooted in valid concerns: Are we becoming too reliant on technology? Can AI really understand us, or is it just mimicking empathy? What about data privacy?

It’s important to differentiate between the **effectiveness** of a tool like ChatGPT in aiding cognitive tasks and the **receptiveness** of users to these tools. Objectively speaking, there’s evidence suggesting that AI can be quite effective. Studies have shown, for instance, that tools like ChatGPT can help improve decision-making processes by providing structured, unbiased feedback (Bickmore & Picard, 2005). But that doesn’t mean everyone will find it appealing or comfortable to use.

Skepticism often arises not from the tool’s capabilities but from a fear of the unknown, discomfort with the technology, or concerns about potential misuse. However, it’s worth noting that effectiveness does not depend on enjoyment or comfort. Just as we might not enjoy exercising but recognise its benefits for our physical health, using AI for cognitive clarity might initially feel strange or uncomfortable. Over time, as familiarity grows and the benefits become clearer, receptiveness can increase.

To bridge the gap between skepticism and adoption, it’s helpful to encourage a mindset of experimentation. Try using AI as a supportive tool rather than seeing it as a replacement for human thinking. View it as a way to augment, not supplant, our cognitive processes. And critically, we need to keep the conversation open about its limitations and ethical considerations—transparency is key to building trust.

The Importance of Cognitive Effort: Addressing the Criticism of Over-Reliance

While the potential benefits of using conversational AI to assist in cognitive tasks are clear, it's important to consider a valid criticism: the risk that offloading too much of our cognitive processing to AI could undermine our own mental development. The very act of organising, synthesising, and reflecting on our thoughts is not just about getting to a decision or a clear idea; it’s also about engaging deeply with the material, which is crucial for learning and understanding.

Cognitive science suggests that active engagement with ideas—what some educators refer to as "deep learning"—is essential for developing robust understanding and critical thinking skills (Biggs, 1999). When we engage in the effortful process of organising and synthesising information, we are not just processing data; we are also integrating it into our existing knowledge frameworks, forming new connections, and enhancing our ability to apply these insights in different contexts.

Relying too heavily on AI for these tasks could lead to a more superficial engagement with our thoughts. We might become passive recipients of AI-generated summaries or suggestions rather than active participants in our own cognitive processes. This could result in weaker problem-solving skills or a diminished ability to critically evaluate information—a sort of "cognitive atrophy," where our mental muscles weaken from lack of use.

However, this criticism does not mean we should avoid using AI altogether. Rather, it highlights the importance of balance. AI can serve as a powerful tool for reducing cognitive overload, providing scaffolding for more complex thought processes, and prompting reflective thinking. For instance, AI can help break down large, overwhelming tasks into more manageable components, making it easier for us to engage deeply with each part.

Moreover, AI can encourage reflective thinking by asking probing questions or suggesting alternative perspectives, helping us to think more deeply about our own thought processes and ideas. This could enhance, rather than detract from, the integration and synthesis process.

Ultimately, the key is to use AI in a way that complements, rather than replaces, our own cognitive efforts. By doing so, we can leverage the strengths of both AI and human cognition—using AI to assist with organisational tasks and reduce cognitive load, while still engaging deeply with the material to ensure robust understanding and meaningful learning.

Limitations and Ethical Considerations

Despite its potential, conversational AI is not without its limitations. One of the primary challenges is its inability to fully understand human emotions or context. While AI can simulate empathy and provide comforting language, it does not possess genuine emotional intelligence. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or responses that miss the mark emotionally.

Moreover, there are valid ethical concerns to consider. AI systems, like ChatGPT, are trained on vast datasets that may contain biases. Without careful oversight, these biases can seep into the AI’s responses, perpetuating stereotypes or offering biased advice (Bender et al., 2021). There is also the risk of over-reliance on AI, which could inadvertently erode our ability to think critically or independently.

To navigate these concerns, it’s crucial to maintain a balanced perspective. Recognise the tool’s limitations while appreciating its strengths. As AI continues to evolve, we can anticipate improvements, particularly in areas like emotional intelligence and ethical oversight. But for now, it’s about finding the right balance between leveraging AI’s capabilities and exercising our own judgment.

Future Trends and Innovations in AI for Cognitive Assistance

Looking to the future, the role of AI in cognitive assistance is likely to expand. We might soon see AI integrated with wearable technology, offering real-time cognitive support tailored to our immediate needs. As AI’s emotional intelligence develops, its ability to provide more nuanced, context-aware support could improve, making it a more effective tool for both cognitive and emotional tasks.

Moreover, as these technologies become more advanced, we might see broader societal shifts in how we approach problem-solving, decision-making, and communication. The implications could be far-reaching, influencing everything from education to workplace dynamics and even our personal relationships.

Balancing Effectiveness and User Experience

The key to maximising the benefits of conversational AI lies in balancing its effectiveness with a positive user experience. This means designing AI tools that are both capable and intuitive, that meet users where they are, and adapt to their needs. An AI that learns from interactions and adjusts its responses is more likely to be both effective and well-received.

Continuous research and user feedback will be essential in refining these tools. By keeping the user experience at the forefront, we can develop AI that not only enhances cognitive clarity but also fosters trust and long-term engagement.

Conclusion

In conclusion, conversational AI, like ChatGPT, offers a promising new way to help us navigate the complexities of our thoughts and decisions. While its effectiveness is increasingly supported by research, addressing skepticism and fostering receptiveness will be crucial for its broader adoption. By maintaining a balanced perspective—leveraging AI's strengths while acknowledging its limitations—we can harness its potential to enhance our cognitive clarity and support our well-being in meaningful ways.

[theladyofdeath]

I Burn for You {One}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfiction. Elriel. Period AU. 19th Century. Written alongside @snelbz .

Click here to read the summary and for more chapters!

A/N: It's about time Elain and Azriel got their own story, right? I present it to you during the Regency Era. T/W: None

Azriel had been staring at a blank canvas for an hour. 

Usually when a blank canvas presented itself, inspiration would strike instantaneously. His mind would form a beautiful image that would guide his hands and then a masterpiece would take its place on the canvas for all to see, but not this time. After an agonizing hour, Azriel’s mind was still blank. Empty.

He couldn’t tell if he was too inspired or not inspired enough.

The past few weeks had been all but the same, day after day. He kept to himself and didn’t leave his house, drowning himself in his art.

And liquor. 

He was convinced that the staff ignored him out of pity but he didn’t care. He still ate when Cook made meals and allowed the maids to clean up after him. Other than that, however, he interacted with his staff very little these days. 

Yet, they were the only ones willing to interact with him, it seemed.

He didn’t blame his family. They were all very busy.

Feyre and Rhysand had Nyx now and the babe drained every ounce of energy from the Viscount and Viscountess. Cassian and Nesta were still in their honeymoon stage and ignored everyone outside of their bedroom. Azriel was happy for them, all of them. He truly was. Yet, there was a hole in his chest that ached every time he was around them. They had all found something that Azriel was not sure he would ever find.

There was a time that he thought, just maybe, he could have it.

For all of his adult life, Azriel thought that he would never get married. For a long time, no one even caught his eye and he was happy to live his days in sordid revelry with his brothers. Then he met Elain Archeron. 

From the first day he had met her on the streets of Velaris, he had been enthralled by her. It went beyond her beauty, although she was stunning. She was also kind, gentle and generous. Her eyes lit up when she laughed and her smile was contagious when she danced. Every time he was around her, he lost all sense of the world around him. All he saw was her, all he could possibly see was her. Even now, when he hadn’t seen her in ages, she consumed him.

He thought about her during the day and dreamt of her when he laid in bed at night. When he closed his eyes, she appeared and she was smiling at him, laughing with him, so unlike the last time he had seen her at Feyre and Rhysand’s when he returned from his travels. Before that, the last time he had seen Elain had been at Feyre and Rhysand’s wedding…and that had ended poorly.

He had no idea where he stood with Elain, he just knew that everything was different. They were no longer the friends they once were and he hated it. Azriel had been falling in love with her and he had never told her. If his intuition was correct, she had once had feelings for him too that had remained unvoiced. 

No, he had absolutely no idea where he stood with Elain. They were no longer friends and certainly not lovers, but were they enemies? It didn’t feel like it. Instead there was an emptiness between them and Azriel wasn’t sure how to fill it.

There was one thing for certain: whatever had occurred between him and Elain involved Gwyn. Gwyn was one of Azriel’s closest friends. He enjoyed her company and had grown even more fond of her during their travels together. They had gone everywhere and done everything but nothing romantic had happened. Yet, when they were away together, Azriel couldn’t help but think how easy it was with Gwyn. Surely, it was far easier to be with her than Elain. With Elain, the ton was involved, but with Gwyn…it had only ever been just the two of them in serene simplicity and it had been enjoyable. 

When he came home, a whole new sense of confusion had corrupted him. He found himself at a fork in the road where two different paths presented themselves. One side was the ton, where his family was, where Elain was. Although he had never truly fit in with the ton, it was a part of him, just as it had been a part of his mother. It was his past and his present. The other side laid on the opposite end of town, where he went to party with his fellow artists.

And Gwyn.

It was a simpler life, one he knew he could be happy living. Gwyn would make a good life partner, as well, could make him happy even if he was not in love with her. He cared for her, loved her in some form, just not the form that made men propose. Many of Velaris’ society married for the match, rather than love. Why couldn’t he?

But Elain…

He had been in love with her. Part of him still was, even if nothing was the same. He longed for her still, and he feared he always would. 

Azriel knocked back the amber liquid that sat on the stool beside him and dropped his paintbrush to the rug. It was useless. He was wasting his time. After draping a sheet over the canvas so that he didn’t have to look it, so that it wouldn’t mock him, he strode out onto his balcony and was met with a rush of fresh air that nearly knocked him over. 

When was the last time he’d gone outside?

Before he could contemplate that answer, a carriage rolled up the drive. He knew who it was right away. The Velaris crest was on the sides of the navy carriage and the black mares trotted along gleefully. 

With a muttered curse, Azriel went back inside and out into the hallway. With uneven steps, he found his way through the manor until he was standing in the entryway where Rhysand stood alongside Cassian.

As soon as Azriel came into view, his brothers looked at him with a frown. 

He didn’t see what the big deal was, even as he looked down at his rumpled trousers and loose tunic. His bare feet probably didn’t look too good, either.

“I didn’t realize you were coming to visit,” he said, trying not to let the liquor show in his voice but failing immensely. 

“We came to have a word,” Rhysand said, slowly. “And to help you bathe. Looks like you need the assistance.”

Azriel lifted his arm and sniffed. He thought he smelled fine. “Fancy a drink?”

“There can’t possibly be any liquor left,” Cassian mumbled. “Not unless we wring you out.”

Azriel’s jaw locked. “If you came here to judge—”

“Not judge, to help,” Rhysand said, and then they’re moving. Both brothers grab Azriel and practically drag him up the stairs and down the hall to the sitting room where they toss him on the settee. 

“I don’t see what the issue is,” Azriel said, trying to keep himself from falling over. 

“You have a fucking beard,” Cassian said, crossing his arms as he stands above Azriel, as if that explains everything. “People think you’ve died, Az. No one has seen you in weeks. You haven’t left here in weeks.”

“So?” he asked, tossing his hands in the air. “I’ve been lost in my art!”

“And the bottom of the bottle,” Rhysand added. “The social season is about to begin and you’re not prepared.”

Azriel barked a laugh. “I’m not participating this season.”

The room fell into a tense silence. It’s Rhysand that finally asked, “Pardon?”

“I’m not participating,” he said, propping his bare feet up on the table in front of him. “In fact, I am thinking of selling the manor and leaving the ton entirely.” 

Neither Rhysand nor Cassian had anything to say about that. They gaped at him, speechless.

“I don’t understand,” Rhysand said, at last. “Where did this come from? What are you talking about?”

“I think I’ll move to a smaller place,” Azriel explained. “One where I live alone, no staff. I don’t need more than a bed and a washroom. I’ll be closer to the Academy.” For a moment, no one said a word, then Azriel laughed. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. Don’t tell me that you’ve never thought of living a simpler life. I, dear brothers, have the option to do just that. I have no wife. All of my business endeavors can be sold. I have no living family that remains, so their names will not be tarnished.”

“He’s more drunk than I thought,” Cassian said, looking to Rhysand, talking about Azriel as if he weren’t even present.

“Oh, shut up.” Azriel stood, probably a little quicker than he should have, if the way he nearly toppled over the table was any indication, but he managed to right himself. “You both know the disdain I have felt for society my entire life. This can’t be a shock to either of you.”

Sighing through his nose, Rhys’s eyes were downcast as he approached Azriel, resting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, looking at his brother. “No, but this will likely be a shock for you.”

Azriel noticed the self-satisfied glint in the Viscount’s gaze a second too late, and then Cassian was hauling him over his shoulder. Before Azriel could even think about breaking free, Cassian threw him into the fountain.

After he’d taken a proper bath in an actual tub, the three of them were sitting around the table, though Azriel wasn’t sure if it was breakfast, lunch, or dinner he was supposed to be eating. He could tell they were hedging around something, but the conversation was far easier than their previous ones had been.

Until it wasn’t.

“Elain will be returning next week,” Rhysand said, crossing an ankle over his knee.

Azriel stopped, a spoonful of potatoes and gravy halfway to his mouth. Without a word, he slowly set down his fork and leaned back in his chair. “That does not concern me.”

Cassian snorted, unable to help himself, but it was Rhysand that said, “You’re a fool if you think we believe that to be true. You still haven’t spoken to her since the day you all came to meet Nyx, unless you’ve written to her in Spring and we just don’t know it.”

No, he hadn’t written to her and she certainly hadn’t written to him. He doesn’t deign his brother’s remark with a reply, which is even more telling. 

“Look,” Cassian began, and Azriel knew he was in for a rude awakening when it came to the rare seriousness of his brother’s tone. “Whatever this quarter-life crisis is that you’re going through, you can’t do something that you’re going to regret. This thing between you and Elain…you need to figure it out, or at least gain closure before you decide to leave everything and everyone you know behind.”

“Unless something more has happened with the red-headed artist that has made you want to leave the ton?” Rhysand asked, one brow raised.

Azriel shook his head. “She is only a friend.” Even though it was traveling with her that made her life seem so grand to him, nothing romantic had yet to happen. 

“Then it’s settled,” Cassian said, stabbing his meat with his fork. “When Elain returns, you will make amends. You’ll join her for the social season. After that, you may decide your place in society.”

Azriel scoffed. “I’m not—”

“It will at least let the ton know that you are very much alive and well,” Cassian added, eyes hard as they remained on Azriel. 

“You should not just leave unannounced,” Rhysand said, and Azriel noted that he hadn’t touched his food in quite some time. “If you’re going to remove yourself from the ton, at least do it in the right way. One more season and if you still wish to leave at the end of it, neither I nor Cass will stop you.”

Cassian’s jaw locked, unhappy with the idea, but he agreed. 

Azriel sat perfectly still, refusing to go along with their plan. It wasn’t that it was an absurd plan. It was actually quite logical. However, he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. 

At least, not until Cassian said, “We’re just worried about you, Az. You’re neglecting your personal hygiene, you’re refusing to go outside, and you won’t talk to anyone.”

Azriel’s body slumped in his chair as he stared at the half-full plate in front of him. “I do not want to be presented in front of society.”

“Is it the beard?” Cassian asked. “Because you will be shaving before the first event of the season.” 

Despite himself, Azriel chuckled. He shook his head. “I do not know where I fit in anymore, but I do not feel it is with the ton. In all sincerity, I never thought it was with the ton. My mother was an outcast the second she married my stepfather, and I am no different. I am the son that was raised by a cruel man that was not my father, who basically sent my mother to her early grave, and helped form these scars on my hands. Society has always looked upon me differently. Must I truly endure another season of their stares and silent questions?”

For a moment, Cassian and Rhysand remained silent. The butler swept into the room and refilled their glasses as they sat in the quiet. 

“You are in love with Elain.” Rhysand said it lightly, and he watched Azriel as he reacted with an uncomfortable shift in his seat. “We know it and you know it. Your opposition of the ton has very little to do with everyone else. You have ignored them all your life and have laughed at their perceptions of you and your name. I know you do not like the ton, but I also know that you have stayed in society in honor of your mother, and that means a lot to you. This has nothing to do with the ton, Azriel, and everything to do with Elain.” 

Azriel did not agree. He did not need to. His brothers knew it was the truth so there was no point in confirming it.

“Do not completely change your life without giving it the proper thought,” Cassian added. “One season to properly sort your thoughts.”

Azriel didn’t want to say yes. He didn’t want to promise something that he was not certain he could uphold. Instead, he picked up his fork and knife and began cutting the remainder of his meat. 

As he began to eat, Rhysand and Cassian did not say a word more. They finished their meal in utter silence.

~.~.~.~

The Archeron carriage hobbled down the cobblestone path in the late afternoon sun. It was officially hers, the carriage, unless her father was in town but he rarely was as of late. He had allowed her to take it with her to the Spring court, where she had spent most of her time between seasons. 

Now, as a new season approached, everything that had been happening was becoming very real.

She was the last Archeron to find a husband.

It did not bother her, not as much as it once would have. She was so happy for both of her sisters and celebrated with them in their joy. Now with baby Nyx in their lives, that joy only grew. 

As she approached home after her long ride, she couldn’t wait to get out of the carriage, even if she would be the only one home. That was a huge part of why she had stayed so long in Spring. It was nice to be in a house with so many people, so many guests. At home, she was the only one there, except for those rare days in which her father was home.

She could stay with one of her sisters but she did not want to be an inconvenience. Feyre and Rhysand were starting their family, and Nesta and Cassian were still in their honeymoon phase. Besides, when the season began it would be nonstop balls, calls, and promenades. Then, she would very rarely be alone. Perhaps she should dwell in the quiet beforehand.

Besides, they had a wonderful staff that would keep her company if she wanted it.

As the season approached, however, the feeling of solitude was almost welcoming. It made her nervous, the coming season. She had yet to have a successful season and, in truth, the past few had been disasters.

First, there had been Greysen who led her on only to marry another once she had already fallen in love with him. Then, there had been Cassian, but he had ended up marrying her sister. In all truth, that didn’t bother Elain, not anymore. Cassian and Nesta were meant for one another, destined to be together. If Elain hadn’t walked out on she and Cassian’s wedding, neither he nor Nesta would have found their happiness and Elain couldn’t have lived with herself. Besides, she did not love Cassian, but he did make a lovely brother-in-law. 

Then there was Azriel.

Azriel, who had once been just a friend. She had confided with him in the early days of the previous season, had looked forward to the long talks they’d had about everything and nothing at all. He understood her in a way that no one else had, and perhaps that was why she had developed feelings for him. By the end of the season, he was all she thought about. Just when she was ready to tell him as much, she found out that he was leaving for the summer, and not alone. She didn’t know what was going on between Azriel and Gwyn, and it was not her place to know, but she could not deny the feeling of jealousy. She nearly felt betrayal at the thought of Azriel spending so much time with another woman, and Elain knew that it wasn’t right but it did not matter. She could not help how she felt. She was only human, and her heart felt it all. 

He was not like the rest of the ton. He had a heart greater than anyone she had ever known and he was such an incredibly talented artist. She kept the portrait of her that he had painted in safekeeping with her most prized possessions, right next to a small portrait of her late mother and a necklace that her father had gifted her when she was young.

He had no idea how she had affected her and perhaps he never would. She hadn’t spoken to him since the night of Feyre and Rhysand’s wedding, except for their brief and awkward interaction when she had come back to town to meet Nyx. There were multiple letters she had started writing to him that quickly ended up crumbled and in the fireplace.

She didn’t know if he would even want to speak to her.

She didn’t know how he felt or if he had found love with another. 

Besides, she had new prospects. Very soon, Elain could be a princess of the Spring Court and married to the handsome Prince Tamlin. Although she did not have much in common with the Prince, he had means and seemed decent enough. She loved the Spring Court, loved the magnificent gardens on the castle grounds. She could be happy there, even if she and her husband were not in love.

She used to dream of marrying for love. Now the thought was only that — a dream. After her many failed attempts at marriage the past few years, Elain had nearly given up on that dream. Perhaps striving for a stable home and a husband that could provide for her was far more promising. 

Prince Tamlin could give her that.

She had overheard the Prince in the gardens just before she had left. He was talking to one of his advisors, claiming that he would be following her to Velaris and thinking about proposing soon. Although she was unsure as to why he did not just propose before she left, the idea was flattering. Although, if he did soon propose, she was not certain what she would say. Although she adored his lands, she did not know if she could secure a better match than the Prince. But, that was what the social season was for, so she would not give it too much thought until a proposal actually presented itself…even if the thought lingered in the back of her mind. 

That was not all that lingered in the back of her mind.

He was also there, with his charcoal coated fingertips and kind, hazel eyes. The thought that they were back in the same city terrified her as much as it excited her. Perhaps she would see him at the first social event, even though Feyre had written that he often secluded himself as of late. 

Would he come to the first ball to see her? It was wishful thinking, especially when Elain had no idea where they stood. Did Azriel loathe her? Had she ruined it with her reaction to his summer travels? Should she have written long ago to apologize and mend their friendship? She did not know. All she knew was that the thought of not seeing him again, the thought of never speaking and laughing with him again, broke her heart.

As her carriage pulled up to the front of the manor, she sighed. She had far too many thoughts going through her mind to be at peace, but the feeling of being back in Velaris did bring her comfort. 

The second the carriage came to a stop, she was pushing open the door and helping herself out. After taking in a deep breath of fresh air, she was walking up the stone steps of the manor and pushing open the door.

She was home.

Home and utterly alone.

[charmixpower]

Quick question: what gemstone Diaspro would assign to Winx Club girls (+ Roxy, Daphne, Mirta, Chimera, Galatea and Krystal)?

Okii! I'm doing this based on gem meaning bc magically dimension, magical gems. I don't think most of the jewelry Diaspro makes has magical effects, but if she's picking out specifically gems for each girl and not just going by color pallette (or just using blue and yellow for Bloom, Orange and Blue for Stella, ect ect) I imagine she's making something with a little more oomph

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

Bloom:

As soon as she is brought to think about it, Diaspro immediately picks Topazes for Bloom. A Topaz amplifies strength and enhances intelligence. Which is Diaspro calling Bloom a impulsive little danger magnet, with terrible decision making skills. In a loving way. They're friends.

Stella:

An Agate could of easily gone to Bloom instead, with it's it's ability to inspire courage and boost strength, but it's properties of enhancing mental concentration and giving the user a calm and centered mind what something she thought Stella could benefit far more from.

Stella, while much better at using her moon powers from s2 and compared to s1, still sometimes stuggles to connect to the more mental aspects of moon magic. Diaspro hopes a good Agate could help her a till she no longer stuggles with her moon powers.

Flora:

Probably the member of the Winx Diaspro is the closest. Picking a stone for the kind and understanding Flora was a struggle. She didn't know if she wanted to play into her passive powers, maybe giving her something to promote that power of hers, or maybe concentrate on Flora's nature and prompting her best traits. Eventually she settled on Bloodstone.

Bloodstone with its ability to boost courage, and enhance endurance and physical strength was Diaspro's favorite choice for the flower fairy who had the tendancy to get picked out by the Winx's enemies as a easy target. Hopefully it's abilities to protect the body and increase courage would make life easier for Flora.

Tecna:

Diaspro knows Tecna is smart, they've had a conversion before. She's seen Tecna in action. After much debilitation, Diaspro finally settles on Tanzanite. With it's ablity to strengthen's someone's intuition and encourage perception, it's a good fit for the fairy why already knows so much but stuggles to trust her gut.

Musa:

Easily the member of the Winx Diaspro interacts the least with. They do not mesh, and Diaspro has no clue how to talk to the girl. From what she did see, Musa has the tendancy to overreact and tends to be swayed by how she's feeling in the moment.

A Amethyst to promote a clear mind and quick wit to bolster the girls snarker and connective side is a clear choice.

Aisha:

Diaspro has known Aisha since childhood, and even though they were never close, the one thing she always knew about Aisha is that girl is stressy as fuck. Aisha is closed off, slow to trust, and had a tendancy to be worried about everything constantly to the point of chronic nightmares. Diaspro decided that she needs some Pink Beryl in her life years ago.

Pink Beryl brings positive energy, inner peace, confidence, and soothes anxiety and stress.

Mirta:

Mirta reminds Diaspro of Bloom and Flora in the best and worst ways. Kind to a excess, and implusive to a fault, Diaspro hopes the intuition and foresight enhancing powers of Emeralds will help the girl stay out of trouble, or at least avoid getting herself in another terrible situation.

+

Roxy:

Diaspro has met Roxy a couple times, mostly because Bloom wanted to dragged Roxy around the magical dimension a little so she can get a feel for it, and Diaspro's planet was one of those stops. From these few meetings, she saw just how, anxious and overwhelmed Roxy looked about magic as a whole. Diaspro decides she'd benefit from the grounding and protective ablities of Tourmaline.

Krystal:

Diaspro doesn't know Krystal very well, or at all, except that she's Roxy's friend and Bloom really wants to her and Roxy a nice gift, and Dia was wrapped into it.

A Sapphire to boost her connection to external magic sources, and to promote clarity was Diaspro's choice for the new fairy.

Chimera:

From what Diaspro was told about Stella's new little sister, and what she saw on the news, Chimera had a awful mother and is taking a lot of big steps in her new life. A Spinel to bring some hope, enegry, and joy for life, back to Chimera as she gets accustomed to her new loving life was a easy choice.

Galatea:

Diaspro has met Galatea a few times. Mostly at galas, sometimes though the Winx, and the girl is....certainly spirited. Which was the nice way of saying she has eccentric as hell and kind of a lot.

A Citrine to enhance her natural happy and energetic disposition made an appropriate choice. It's ability to affect health and luck was the more true reason for the choice. Diaspro is sure that the girl overly excitable girl would need it.

Daphne:

Dia is doing the usual political niceties when visiting Domino, and gifts Daphne a piece of jewelry with Diamonds, which has the ability to increase magical strength. All she really knows about Daphne is "powerful" and that is the meaning of and power of Diamonds so it works

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

[1tarot1with1k1o]

✨🥂50 followers celebration🥂✨

Thank you very much for following me and for interacting with my content. To celebrate reaching 50 followers, I will open a free game, where I will give away a free reading on any topic, to 30 people.

RULES:

Kindly check guidelines before requesting, to know what topics I do readings on;

Anon asks are allowed;

If you feel comfortable, please leave me your pronouns (if someone else is involved in the ask, theirs as well). It is not a requirement, it just makes it a bit easier for me, but no worries if you don’t want to;

I don’t do FS readings for people under 15, it feels way too early for me to tell you who you’re gonna marry, please choose another topic if you’re that young;

I accept private readings. Just write that you want it to be private when sending the ask to my inbox, and I will not publish it on the blog;

Kindly leave feedback, or even just send me a thumbs up, to know you’ve seen the reading. Most of the time when I don’t hear back anymore from people I do readings for, I feel like I wasted my energies to do a channeling for someone who didn’t even bother to come back to look at it. I know that’s not always the case, but it still doesn’t feel very good;

If you have questions, feel free to send me a message at any point during the game. I will try to reply as fast as I can to clear any doubts you might have;

I am currently studying/working full time these days, so I have only a few hours a day at most, to complete the requests. Kindly understand that it might take me up to a week to send you the reading. If you sent your request before I close the game, you can rest assured that you will receive your reading;

(OPTIONAL)

If you would like to get the chance to receive your reading more quickly, you can intuitively (you don’t have to be a spiritual person to participate), send me an assumption about me. If you guess it right, as a congratulatory prize, I’ll complete your reading before the others. (It’s just for fun, it’s a lighthearted game I wanted to do, just to not feel like a robot while answering requests)

You can participate even if you have already sent a question to my inbox after the last game. Just send the assumption in a new ask 💕

That’s it! Thank you again for taking interest in my blog. I appreciate it very much! Lots of love to everyone, and I hope to hear from you soon 🥰

[soundsfaebutokay]

So I've recc'd this video before, but it deserves its own post because it's one of my favorite things on youtube. It's a Tedx Talk by comics writer, editor, and journalist Jay Edidin, and I really think that it will connect with a lot of people here.

If you live and breathe stories of all kinds, you might like this.

If you care about media representation, you might like this.

If you're neurodivergent, you might like this.

If you're interested in a gender transition story that veers from the norm, you might like this.

If you love the original Leverage and especially Parker, and understand how important it is that a character like her exists, you will definitely like this.

Transcript below the cut:

You Are Here: The Cartography of Stories

by Jay Edidin

I am autistic. And what this means in practice is that there are some things that are easier for me than they are for most people, and a great many things that are somewhat harder, and these affect my life in more or less overt ways. As it goes, I'm pretty lucky. I've been able to build a career around special interests and granular obsession. My main gig at the moment is explaining superhero comics continuity and publishing history for which work I am somehow paid in actual legal currency—which is both a triumph of the frivolous in an era of the frantically pragmatic, and a job that's really singularly suited to my strengths and also to my idiosyncrasies.

I like comics. I like stories in general, because they make sense to me in ways that the rest of the world and my own mind often don't. Self-knowledge is not an intuitive thing for me. What sense of self I have, I've built gradually and laboriously and mostly through long-term pattern recognition. For decades, I didn't even really have a self-image. If you'd asked me to draw myself, I would eventually have given you a pair of glasses and maybe a very messy scribble of hair, and that would've been about it. But what I do know—backwards, forwards, and in pretty much every way that matters—are stories. I know how they work. I understand their language, their complex inner clockwork, and I can use those things to extrapolate a sort of external compass that picks up where my internal one falls short. Stories—their forms, their structure, the sense of order inherent to them—give me the means to navigate what otherwise, at least for me, would be an impassable storm of unparsable data. Or stories are a periscope, angled to access the parts of myself I can't intuitively see. Or stories are a series of mirrors by which I can assemble a composite sketch of an identity I rarely recognize whole...which is how I worked out that I was transgender, in my early thirties, by way of a television show.

This is my story. And it's about narrative cartography, and representation, and why those things matter. It's about autism and it's about gender and it's about how they intersect. And it's about the kinds of people we know how to see, and the kinds of people we don't. It's not the kind of story that gets told a lot, you might hear a lot, because the narrative around gender transition and dysphoria in our culture is really, really prescriptive. It's basically the story of the kid who has known for their whole life that they're this and not that, and that story demands the kind of intuitive self-knowledge that I can't really do, and a kind of relationship to gender that I don't really have—which is part of why it took me so long to figure my own stuff out.

So, to what extent this story, my story has a beginning, it begins early in 2014 when I published an essay titled, "I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory." And it explored, among other things, the ways that I use narrative and narrative structures to navigate real life. And it got picked up in a number of fairly prominent places that got linked, and I casually followed the ensuing discussion. And I was surprised to discover that readers were fairly consistently assuming I was a man. Now, that in itself wasn't a new experience for me, even though at the time I was writing under a very unambiguously female byline. It had happened in the letter columns of comics I'd edited. It had happened when a parody Twitter account I'd created went viral. When I was on staff at Wired, I budgeted for fancy scotch by putting a dollar in a box every time a reader responded in a way that made it clear they were assuming I was a man in response to an article where my name was clearly visible, and then I had to stop doing that because it happened so often I couldn't afford to keep it up. But in all of those cases, the context, you know, the reasons were pretty obvious. The fields I'd worked in, the beats I covered, they were places where women had had to fight disproportionally hard for visibility and recognition. We live in a culture that assumes a male default, so given a neutral voice and a character limit, most readers will assume a male author.

But this was different, because this wasn't just a book I'd edited, it wasn't a story I'd reported—it was me, it was my story. And it made me uncomfortable, got under my skin in ways that the other stuff really hadn't. And so I did what I do when that happens, and I tried to sort of reverse-engineer it to look at the conclusions and peel them back to see the narratives behind them and the stories that made them tick. And I started this, I started this by going back to the text of the essay, and you know, examining it every way I could think of: looking at craft, looking at content. And in doing so, I was surprised to realize that while I had written about a number of characters with whom I identified closely, that every single one of those characters I'd written about was male. And that surprised me even more than the responses to the essay had, because I've spent my career writing and talking and thinking about gender and representation in popular media. In 2014, I'd been the feminist gadfly of an editorial department and multiple mastheads. I'd been a founding board member of an organization that existed to advocate for more and better representation of women and girls in comics characters and creators. And most of my favorite characters, the ones I'd actively seek out and follow, were women. Just not, apparently, the characters I saw myself in.

Now I still didn't realize it was me at this point. Remember: self-knowledge, not very intuitive for me. And while I had spent a lot of time thinking about gender, I'd never really bothered to think much about my own. I knew academically that the way other people read and interpreted my gender affected and had influenced a lifetime of social and professional interactions, and that those in turn had informed the person I'd grown up into during that time. But I really believed, like I just sort of had in the back of my head, that if you peeled away all of that social conditioning, you'd basically end up with what I got when I tried to draw a self-portrait. So: a pair of glasses, messy scribble of hair, and in this case, maybe also some very strong opinions about the X-Men. I mean, I knew something was off. I'd always known something was off, that my relationship to gender was messy and uncomfortable, but gender itself struck me as messy and uncomfortable, and it had never been a large enough part of how I defined myself to really feel like something that merited further study, and I had deadlines, and...so it was always on the back burner. So, I looked, I looked at what I had, at this improbable group of exclusively male characters. And I looked and I figured that if this wasn't me, then it had to be a result of the stories I had access to, to choose from, and the entertainment landscape I was looking at. And the funny thing is, I wasn't wrong, exactly. I just wasn't right either.

See, the characters I'd written about had one other significant trait in common aside from their gender, which is that they were all more or less explicitly, more or less heavily coded as autistic. And I thought, "Ah, yes. This explains it. This is under representation in fiction echoing under representation in life and vice versa." Because the characteristics that I'd honed in on, that I particularly identified with in these guys, were things like emotional unavailability and social awkwardness and granular obsession, and all of those are characteristics that are seen as unsympathetic and therefore unmarketable in female characters. Which is also why readers were assuming that I was a man.

Because, you see, here's the thing. I'm not the only one who uses stories to navigate the world. I'm just a little more deliberate about it. For humans, stories formed the bridge between data and understanding. They're where we look when we need to contextualize something new, or to recognize something we're pretty sure we've seen before. They're how we identify ourselves; they're how we locate ourselves and each other in the larger world. There were no fictional women like me; there weren't representations of women like me in media, and so readers were primed not to recognize women like me in real life either.

Now by this point, I had started writing a follow-up essay, and this one was also about autism and narratives, but specifically focused on how they intersected with gender and representation in media. And in context of this essay, I went about looking to see if I could find even one female character who had that cluster of traits I'd been looking for, and I was asking around in autistic communities. And I got a few more or less useful one-off suggestions, and some really, really splendid arguments about semantics and standards, and um...then I got one answer over and over and over in community after community after community. "Leverage," people told me. "You have to watch Leverage."

So I watched Leverage. Leverage is five seasons of ensemble heist drama. It's about a team of very skilled con artists who take down corrupt and powerful plutocrats and the like, and it's a lot of fun, and it's very clever, and it's clever enough that it doesn't really matter that it's pretty formulaic, and I enjoyed it a lot. But what's most important, what Leverage has is Parker.

Parker is a master thief, and she is the best of the best of the best in ways that all of Leverage's characters are the best of the best. And superficially, she looks like the kind of woman you see on TV. So she's young, and she's slender, and she's blonde, and she's attractive but in a sort of approachable way. And all of that familiarity is brilliant misdirection, because the thing is, there are no other women like Parker on TV. Because Parker—even if it's never explicitly stated in the show—Parker is coded incredibly clearly as autistic. Parker is socially awkward. Her speech tends to have limited inflection; what inflection it does have is repetitive and sounds rehearsed a lot of the time. She's not emotionally literate; she struggles with it, and the social skills she develops over the series, she learns by rote, like they're just another grift. When she's not scaling skyscrapers or cartwheeling through laser grids, she wears her body like an ill-fitting suit. Parker moves like me. And Parker, Parker was a revelation—she was a revolution unto herself. In a media landscape where unempathetic women usually exist to either be punished or "loved whole," Parker got to play the crabby savant. And she wasn't emotionally intuitive but it was never ever played as the product of abuse or trauma even though she had survived both of those—it was just part of her, as much as were her hands or her eyes. And she had a genuine character arc. My god, she had a genuine romantic arc, even. And none of that required her to turn into anything other than what she was. And in Parker I recognized a thousand tics and details of my life and my personality...but. I didn't recognize myself.

Why? What difference was there in Parker, you know, between Parker and the other characters I'd written about? Those characters, they'd spanned ethnicities and backgrounds and different media and appearances and the only other characteristic they all had in common was their gender. So that was where I started to look next, and I thought, "Well, okay, maybe, maybe it's masculinity. Maybe if Parker were less feminine, she'd click with me the way those other characters had." So then I tried to imagine a Parker with short hair, who's explicitly butch, and...nothing. So okay, I extended it in what seems like the only logical direction to extend it. I said, "Well, if it's not masculinity, what if it's actual maleness? What if Parker were a man?" Ah. Yeah.

In the end, everything changed, and nothing changed, which is often the way that it goes for me. Add a landmark, no matter how slight, and the map is irrevocably altered. Add a landmark, and paths that were invisible before open wide. Add a landmark, and you may not have moved, but suddenly you know where you are and where you can go.

I wasn't going to tell this story when I started planning this talk. I was gonna tell a similar story, it was about stories, like this is, about narratives and the ways that they influence our culture and vice versa. And it centered around a group of women at NASA who had basically rewritten the narrative around space exploration, and it was a lot more fun, and I still think it was more interesting. But it's also a story you can probably work out for yourselves. In fact it's a story some of you probably have, if you follow that kind of thing, which you probably do given that you're here. And this is a story, my story is not a story that I like to tell. It's not a fun story to talk about because it's very personal and I am a very private person. And it's not universal. And it's not always relatable, and it's definitely not aspirational. And it's not the kind of story that you tend to encounter unless you're already part of it...which is why I'm telling it now. Because the thing is, I'm not the only person who uses stories to parse the world and navigate it. I'm just a little more deliberate. Because I'm tired of having to rely on composite sketches.

Open your maps. Add a landmark. Reroute accordingly.

[ytrairom]

Sherlock MBTI analysis

Disclaimer: I’m not a professional when it comes to psychology, I’m also not planning to become one. I researched a lot on MBTI types, read about other people’s thoughts and experiences with their type and also read a lot of character analysis, not only for BBC Sherlock but also for other shows. I also included the cognitive functions that are the base of the MBTI types. I respect other opinions. That being said let’s dive into this analysis :>

Sherlock Holmes – INTP the Logician

Since Sherlock is the main character of the show, we have a lot of material to analyze and giving him a MBTI type was therefore easier than for side characters.

Sherlock is clearly an introverted person; I doubt anyone would object to that. He doesn’t like interacting with people and prefers to do things alone. If he would take the personality test himself, he’d probably get a relatively high score in introversion, above 90% I’d say. He doesn’t get his energy from interacting with people.

Moving on to the next letter, the N which stands for Intuition. I’ve seen some people arguing that he is in fact a sensor (an ISTP) but I’m quite sure he’s an Intuitive. He is able to completely ignore his surroundings, he was talking to John for hours without noticing that John wasn’t even there. Typically, sensors are very aware of their surroundings and find it difficult to ignore what is happening around them. Sensors live in the present while Intuitives live more in the future. Intuitves are also people who tend to see possibilities while sensors like to rely on experience. The reason why people confuse Sherlock for a sensor is because Sherlock is very detail oriented when inspecting a crime scene and when he wants to be he is very aware of his surroundings and notices every small detail. However, Sherlock always notices the big picture. INTPs also like to think through a lot of ideas, they spend a lot of time thinking while ISTPs always start doing things. Sherlock’s mind palace and how he uses it is extremely untypical for an ISTP or a sensor in general but fits an INTP very well. Also INTPs are better at longterm planning than ISTPs and Sherlock is actually good at planning things if he wants to.

Sherlock prefers thinking over feeling, I’ve never seen anyone type him as a feeler. Sherlock makes his decisions based on logic. That doesn’t mean that he is coldhearted or devoid of emotions and empathy, he just prefers to do things based on logic not on feelings.

Sherlock is also more perceiving that judging, I don’t see why anyone would type him as a judger. In the original ACD books he may an INTJ (which I don’t know because I didn't of them, shame on me) but definitely not in the BBC adaption. He doesn’t follow any routines, is always open to new things and goes through life and his cases how it seems right in the situation. That doesn’t mean he is unable to stick to plans, we have seen him making plans and following through with them, it just doesn’t seem to be his preferred way of doing things. He can adapt to unforeseen circumstances and find a solution in the moment. He is also a risk taker. Maybe this is a bit of a stereotype, but Judgers tend to be more organized with their belongings and living space. Sherlock however can work in the greatest chaos and doesn’t even mind it, I sometimes think he works better in a little chaos.

Cognitive functions: Ti-Ne-Si-Fe (These come from the 4 letters his MBTI consists of. You possess 4 cognitive functions: 2 introverted ones and 2 extraverted ones. All of these are developed differently, your primary function is your most developed one and your inferior function your most underdeveloped one.)

Primary function: Introverted thinking. He constantly keeps is mind open to new information and concepts that help him understand the world. He uses Ti to solve problems and quickly understands complex ideas.

Auxiliary function: Extraverted Intuition. He sees possibilities everywhere. He uses Ne to experiment with what could be and find new innovative ideas. He likes to learn about multiple possibilities and gets restless when the environment doesn’t promote experimentation.

Tertiary function: Introverted Sensing. He recalls logical concepts and ideas quickly. He stores and effectively recalls past information when needed.

Inferior function (underdeveloped function): Extraverted feeling. He feels strongly for other people but is unsure how to express feelings for them. He prefers to rely on logic and facts though. He can be very emotional under stress.

When giving someone an MBTI type I always consider the cognitive functions and in this case, they made me fairly sure of my decision because to me Sherlock is an Ne-Si user not a Se-Ni user or a Te user.

[apompkwrites]

love in their own way || albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli

masterlist characters: albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli genre: fluff summary: in which their s/o's aren't as forward about their emotions, but still manage to have their little tells that express their love. notes: i hope this meets the request! i had a lot of fun writing this! i just want the boys to be happy :)

albedo -

i like to think albedo is secretly clingy but doesn't allow himself to show it to anyone.

naturally, it's just because he's always holed up with his work.

when he consciously does it... it's because he's nervous.

remember the end of his quest when he's talking to himself at dragonspine?

that's why he's nervous.

anyway!!

he's not too bothered by the fact that you're more reserved.

he has a lot of work so he can't really dwell on the idea for too long.

just you being there when he's working is good enough for him :D

as we all know, this boy is very into experimentation and learning.

so trying to decipher your minuscule facial changes is actually really interesting to him!

he has a bunch of notes just on the little details he can find about you.

and since he's so observant, it doesn't take him long to realize that there are certain signs that only appear around him.

he'll notice them when he's painting you.

whenever he's waiting for results, he'll use the time to draw you <3

because he's done this, he practically has you memorized.

so imagine his surprise when he sees your expression change whenever he leaves your sight.

it takes him a while to actually be able to see this, but i'm sure it's because of timaeus and sucrose.

after all, they're around you a lot whenever albedo is busy.

they probably take a picture to show him something they did while he was gone and that's when he notices.

he doesn't even have to look at a different picture of you.

he can just tell you look different.

the little crinkle next to your eyes was gone.

your lips were more pursed than usual.

you now had a crease in between your brows you didn't have before.

the next time he sees you, he'll hold up the picture next to your face to confirm they're different.

he wants to ask why there's a "clear" difference in your appearance but he already knows why.

he'll ask you just to be sure, though--

your cheeks get a tiny tiny bit darker when you answer wholeheartedly.

it does make him chuckle when he hears that you're so smitten for him in your monotonous voice.

the picture sucrose and timaeus took isn't his favorite of you, so he ends up taking a new one when you two are both exploring dragonspine.

it's a reminder of how much you really love him <3

childe -

out of the four boys here, he's definitely (in my opinion) the most affectionate.

like, this boy will take whatever he can get to just hold you for a second.

especially if you're also from snezhnaya but came all the way to liyue to keep him company.

he's very family-oriented as we've seen, so he treasures these relationships.

now, with an unaffectionate s/o?

honestly, i don't think he'd be too upset about it.

like i said, he really treasures these familial relationships.

because of this, it's his top priority to make sure you feel comfortable in the relationship.

he won't necessarily keep his distance, but he won't be too clingy either.

he'll stand right beside you, enough to where you can almost feel his skin touching yours.

as for your expressionlessness...

it'll take him a bit to really understand how you're feeling.

it's a lot of communication because he doesn't want to mess anything up.

near the beginning of the relationship, he'd ask how you're feeling and if there's anything bothering you.

but once he finally notices the subtle differences in your face, such as a slight eyebrow raise or a tilt of the head, he'll be able to read you easier.

nothing too complex, but just enough for him to tell your emotions.

there is one subtle change that he always looks for, however.

he's realized, with the help of zhongli of course, that there is a specific characteristic that only happens when he's in your line of sight.

your lips are normally pressed in a fine line.

however, around him, the corners lift up ever-so-slightly.

the only reason he's able to see it is that he'll catch himself staring at your lips because he wants a kiss :)

once he sees that, he starts noticing your little quirks whenever you're around him.

you'll lean closer to him as you're walking through liyue harbor.

your eyes start to soften as he talks on and on about his day (and complains about scaramouche--).

he loves the idea that all of these little details about you only happen around him,

it makes him feel... important.

and loved.

even if he holds back from touching you, he'll settle for seeing your cold exterior melt around him.

xiao -

he's not too well versed in affection...

i mean, he's the vigilant yaksha that is known for being stoic just like you are.

you two are basically carbon copies of each other.

no affection and no clear expressions of love.

people (who know both you and xiao) often forget that you two are actually together.

like, they just think you two sit in silence when you're both tired of dealing with people.

they... aren't necessarily wrong.

the two of you are often found sitting at the balcony looking over liyue.

sometimes you bring him almond tofu to share :)

it's very rare for the two of you to actively show your love for each other, mainly because you both know your feelings.

although... xiao does have those moments.

it's not like he's completely oblivious to the whispers about you two.

and on the days where his karma acts up, he gets insecure.

he's... really scared that one day you'll leave just like the others.

it doesn't matter if you're a mortal or an adeptus, he's scared that one day he'll wake up and you'll be gone.

and if that ever comes, he's scared you'll pass on either doubting your feelings or his.

it doesn't help when he notices the difference in your attitude and appearance when he's around.

his first instinct is that he's doing something bad.

either you're angry or upset at his mere existence...

verr goldet's the one who has to explain why you seem different.

she's quite observant on her own, especially because you're the first person that xiao actively enjoys being around.

she'll be the one to tell him that it isn't because you're mad at him.

you have minuscule changes because that's how xiao makes you feel.

you're so soft around him and she can tell just from the small interactions she's seen of you.

for example, when you're talking to the chef downstairs, you have the same expression that xiao has when he's talking to people.

you're annoyed but you know how to handle it.

but when you're around xiao, it's like everything that bothers you disappears.

it's like you're in your own domain whenever he's around.

nothing else matters except for him.

and even if she's relying on small observations and pure intuition, she can tell that the changes are good.

your eyes that seem to look anywhere besides the person you are talking to are completely different from the ones that seem to only focus on xiao.

your normally stiff body relaxes every time you summon xiao at the balcony.

the tiny smile that graces your lips when you disappear to the top of the inn for hours on end.

verr goldet's explanation calms his heart.

his worries seem to disappear and the next time he sees you...

this is the one thing his karma can't take away. he'll be sure of it.

zhongli -

zhongli is also another person who isn't well versed in relationships.

although he isn't as inexperienced as xiao, it'll take some time for him to figure it out.

he's not someone who craves affection like it's the only thing keeping him alive.

he definitely would appreciate it but he completely understands that it isn't something you tend to give.

so instead, he'll show his love in the smaller things.

such as telling you stories, sharing tea, going out on walks, etc.

he's another person who is very observant, especially in people close to him.

his storytelling friends often ask him about your relationship with one another.

they try to bring it to his attention that you may not be as interested as he thinks you are.

of course, he'll simply laugh them off and tell them that they should listen to the person who knows you best.

he'll turn those questions into a big story and explain how they're mistaken about you.

he's never actively told anyone this, save for hu tao who tries to bug him into telling her, but he'll tell them about all of the tiny details that tell him your feelings.

when you're feeling upset, you puff out your cheeks a small bit.

when you're angry, your glare hardens at whatever is making you mad.

when you're happy, your lips part slightly.

when you're in love... well, that's a detail he'll keep for himself.

he's quick to say goodbye to his peers, practically rushing back to your shared home.

he's greeted by you as soon as he opens the door.

your stoic expressions... would be exactly the same to anyone else.

but to him, it's like you've lit up like a small puppy seeing their human parents come home after years.

you don't run up to him, but you turn to look at him and away from the book on the table.

he'll greet you with a quiet nod, pulling out the chair and sitting next to you.

he'll take the book from you, taking in your appearance for a moment.

your shoulders relax by a hair and you move your chair an inch closer to his.

you don't lean your head on his shoulder but you lean towards him as if you were about to.

it's these moments that make everything worth it to zhongli.

here, in your home and in your life, he's simply zhongli.

the man you fell in love with and allowed your reserved self to open up to.

and he would trade anything just to have these moments with you.

[funkymbtifiction]

I've seen that idea about 9s and intuitives being an impossible combination spread on PDB so much lately. It's mostly because the most popular users in there have adapted the ideas of Naranjo too religiously. And i think it shouldn't be taken like that. Sure his work is one of the best when it comes to the enneagram, i understand that you even have his descriptions on your blog, but he certainly has many flaws and his words shouldn't be taken as a fact. Most popular PDB users are self proclaimed Te doms, and i think it makes sense because they treat typology as if it was neuroscience and only the approved authors TM were valid and you must have a consensus of logic and anyone who questions the "facts" is deemed as illogical.

They are outing themselves as 6w5s. ;) "We have our Authority (TM) and he shall not be questioned." Also, none of them are ETJs. ETJs don't waste time and energy focus arguing about fictional characters' types online. :P If people are wrong/lacking the facts, ETJs think they are idiots and dismiss anything they say; they don't write a thousand word argument to try and convince some random stranger to accept their logic. It is just is what it is, take it or leave it. An ETJ would be figuring out how to make money teaching the Enneagram, or by using it to figure out a business model.

You know what's crazier? They're now saying that SX 7s can only be intuitives because high Se users are too grounded, realistic and pragmatic and Naranjo said that SX 7s are the most dreamy and prone to fantasy.

Sx7s are the most obsessed with finding sexual partners through hooking them with their creativity or craziness. Instead of saying "this combo can't happen," they should be thinking, "How would Se-dom and sx7 interact with each other and what would that look like?"

Ugh. I really need to write that combo book, but it would be a major pain in the ass and involve like 350 separate descriptions and the entire idea just makes me want to die. SO MUCH WORK.

They're also saying that... you're not going to believe this one... Te doms can't be 8s especially ENTJs, because Naranjo associated 8s with Se doms and their practicality and ability to live in the moment and prefer to amplify physical sensations and that's apparently something a high Ni user can't do.

So they don't read history then, which is replete with dictator 8 ETJs during the most volatile times in human history? (Stalin? Julius Caesar? Etc?) 8 is the most likely Enneagram type for ETJs behind 3 and 1. 8s go hard after what they want, which fits Te/Se perfectly.

They also have said 6s can only be thinkers because according to Naranjo they're the most logical people even more than 5s, so apparently if you're a high Fi/Fe user and a 6 you're mistyped.

I am super flattered to know that I am the most logical ENFP who has ever existed (I would agree with that, myself ;). That certainly sounds a lot different from most average takes on 6, which include "neurotic nutjob." ;) Again, instead of assuming this, they should assume, "Being a 6 would separate a feeler from their emotions; they would deliberately choose to push aside an emotional response, to find a more logical explanation or action to take." (I can remember the exact moment at twelve years old where I decided, "Being emotional is stupid and a way to get hurt; I won't be emotional. I will make rational and careful decisions." And I have/did. Thanks to this, I am somewhat emotionally repressed, but also brutally logical sometimes, torn between my feelings and doing what I know needs done, regardless of how I feel about it. I do not recommend it.)

They also take instincts and enneagram combos too seriously. That's how you get crazy combos and talks about countertypes for characters with an easier explanation.

Yeah, those are my favorite arguments to read. "I know that 4s are supposed to be emo and elitist and etc, but this character is really just THE SUNNY 4. Here, read this about the SUNNY 4. You know, the 4 who is HAPPY and REPRESSES THEIR NEGATIVITY to keep others happy! (I am also a SUNNY 4, so I know what I am talking about!! *heart emojis and smilies*"

Recently i was discussing about the vampire diaries characters and apparently Katherine an obvious 8, is now a sx 2 core because although her whole arch revolves around her need for self control and being a survivor, she always seduces people and manipulates them and is too obsessed with Stefan so being loved is her end life goal, and apparently her pride is her main trait.

That's cute, but she's an obvious sp/sx 8w7. Like, a character can be an 8 and still be seductive, you know. And the reason she's obsessed with Stefan is she can't stand someone else having him -- that's pure sexual 8 territory: he is MINE and you can't take him. She only wants him because she knows he's in love with somebody else, and it's a power trip to steal him back. Scarlett O'Hara could certainly relate!

Also Stefan is a social 6, because social 6s are as rigid as 1s when it comes to morals and rules but he's too accepting of Damon being immoral and forgiving to be a "my way or no way" 1 core... 

IFPs don't impose their morals on other people, that's why he lets Damon mostly do his own thing. I also don't see him being a head type. He's obviously a "react from the gut" type of character. I like him a lot, but he's more 1 rigid "stick up my butt" than 6 "paranoid."

The worst thing is that not only a few people but posts with hundreds of likes. It's too much, i swear some people on PDB are starting to lose it 🤣

They never had it to begin with?

There are a few knowledgeable people over there, but by in large, it attracts those who know almost nothing about either theory, and who automatically insist that any actor, artist, writer, musician, or character that they like is (like them) an INFJ 4w5 sx.

[localcactushugger]

Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.

Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.

I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.

It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:

During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:

The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):

After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.

But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:

Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:

He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.

So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):

After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:

After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.

Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."

If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.

Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.

Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)

And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.

Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.

And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.

I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.

(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)

Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)

All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)

needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.

This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is

My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.

AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??

Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???

LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD

[lostinphases]

Tarot 101: Bonding with Your Deck(s)

A deck of tarot cards is a useful divination tool, but that doesn’t mean we have to be all stuff about it! Tools can have personality, and we can attach ourselves too them in meaningful ways. (Of course, you probably don’t have a special relationship with all of your tools magical or otherwise, but a tarot deck is a bit different from your microwave.) 

Once you’ve started to develop your tarot practice a bit, you will begin to find which routines work best for starting, building, and maintaining deck “relationships.” Until then, these methods can be a good jumping off point.

The Tried and True

These methods are ones you’ve probably seen floating around the internet or even heard mentioned by tarot-obsessed friends. That’s because they’re effective! But, don’t think that these are prescriptive. Since these are so basic, there is a lot of room to adapt them to what feels right for you. Use your intuition!

Sleeping with Your Deck Under Your Pillow

One of the reasons this is so popular is because it is a passive way to start working on that reader/deck relationship. Part of bonding with a tarot deck is getting your energy into the cards. Keeping them close to you for long periods of time, like when your asleep, is great for this.

Carrying Your Deck Around

Is there anything easier that putting something in your backpack or pocket? Like sleeping with your deck, keeping the cards on your person while you go about your day introduce the deck to your energy. The major difference here is that you are awake to take them out and interact with them.

Daily Readings

Your main goal is to get to a point where you and your deck have a nice back and forth and an easy reading relationship (unless your deck is a real spitfire, then things might be a bit more interesting), so doing light readings with a new deck is always useful. This gets your hands on the cards and, if you ask some simple questions, can give you a feel for how your deck likes to respond.

Deck Maintenance

I’ll talk more about deck maintenance in another post, but small tasks like cleansing and charging and otherwise maintaining your deck are a great way to strengthen your bond.

Shuffling

You might be thinking, “Hold on! I’m not ready to read yet!” Don’t worry. I’m not asking you to. One of my favorite methods of bonding with a deck (or even maintaining a bond with a deck I’ve had for a while) is shuffling. You don’t have to pull out and wild card tricks or high roller shuffling skills for this. Just passively shuffle the deck while you watch Netflix or read a book. This shuffling has no motive other than closeness. It’s like cuddling!

Deck “Interviews”

The name “Deck Interview” is a little misleading because by this point your deck already has the job, but that doesn’t mean you two don’t need to get to know each other. Using the questions below as a guide, shuffle and pull six cards from your deck. Read each card as the deck’s response to your question.

A general introduction

What are your strengths?

What are your limitations?

What can I learn from reading with you specifically?

What are some challenges of working with you?

Outcomes of this relationship

You can flip all of your cards, read, and be done with the interview if you’re trying to be quick, but I’ve had a lot of success flipping one card at a time and considering it as an expansive answer to the corresponding interview question. When I’m doing a deck interview, you’re likely to hear me say things like, “Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be?” or “Well, I look forward to seeing how that works out for us.” Have a conversation! You can even pull clarifying cards if you need to.

Fun Spreads

This was not something I did for bonding until I got my Mystic Monday deck. Not long after getting that deck, I sat down with a friend who had also recently gotten Mystic Monday, and we did “meme” spreads back and forth. My two favorites for this are “Expectation vs. Reality” (you provide the scenario and the deck responds) and “What ___ Thinks of You” (you know the old Facebook meme?) readings.

I’ve found that fun spreads and “meme” readings are similar to shuffling in that the typically don’t require a lot of energy while still getting you engaged with your deck. (They’re also good practice! See my “Practice Makes Perfect” post.) Plus, all of the joy and laughter that comes with these readings really sets a positive tone for your relationship.

Bonding with your deck is an ongoing process, and depending on how many of the above practices and exercises you do and how often, it can take time. You can sleep with your deck, but you really can’t bond with it over night. Don’t rush. You can still work with a deck as your bond strengthens (in fact, that will probably help). Just be patient and follow your intuition.

More Tarot 101: Welcome to Tarot / The Story of the Major Arcana / Card Keywords / Choosing a Deck /  Practice Makes Perfect / Bonding with Your Deck(s)  / An Introduction to Court Cards / Methods of Reading Court Cards / Using Personality Types to Understand Court Cards / Tarot Journaling

[creativeashproductions]

Charlie’s New Friend // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Charlie’s fallen for the casting director and Kenny’s right hand for Julie and the Phantoms. After a day doesn’t go the way it should the cast meets a little newcomer changing the dynamics with Charlie.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, single!parent!reader,  pure fluff

Words: 5.3k

A/N: Hi! In this fic there’s a stuffed animal and it’s important to speak about in this note. I found the stuffed animal on a website for Canadian Wildlife Federation that uses the money from each purchase to support the research and programs for species at risk. The Snowy Owl stuffed animal features in this fic has the proceeds go to protect the Canadian Arctic!

Website to the Canadian Wildlife Federation Adopt an Animal

Masterlist

Everyone has bad days when it happens, you often blared ‘Bad Day’ by Daniel Powter, in their lives. No stranger to those days it seemed today was the recent worse one when your coffee machine broke, your tea cabinet was barren, and Faye decided to dirty your shirt. Then the daycare called informing you of necessary renovations to bring it back to Code. That left you to do the one thing you really didn’t want to do.

You had to bring your daughter to work on the set of Julie and the Phantoms as Faye’s father was filming in England. You had no doubts he would have dropped everything to care for her if he was in the same town let alone state. The positive was that Kenny was aware of your situation and had pleaded for Faye to visit set.

“I need to go to the store after work.” You mumbled over the irritating children’s music that Faye adored. That or the flashing lights on the television during the half-hour each night you got supper ready.

Parking in your assigned spot you made quick work of release the baby carrier from the secure bucket. Faye slept through the entire transition to the stroller with the component that locked the car seat on it.

“Let’s rock ‘n roll Tink.” You told the sleeping infant with the baby bag slung over your shoulder and the pretty light purple blanket covering Faye’s tiny body.

Now while Kenny knew about your daughter, the rest of the cast was definitely unaware given you often passed on dinner. The few times you had joined was when Faye’s father was in town to see your shared daughter.

“Who’s this cutie?” Tori asked, stepping in unison with to view the adorable little baby with brunette curls hidden by her little toque.

“This is my daughter Faye.” You whispered as a suckling sound came from Faye’s open mouth as little snores came out, “Daycare is closed for renovations, and I don’t have a backup plan.”

Tori’s eyebrows raised as you dropped a somewhat surprising fact about part of your life you kept quiet. In no way, shape or form did you feel ashamed by Faye’s existence. Faye’s father was hands-on and very supportive, even if Faye had been a surprise.

“I never knew you had a child.” Tori blinked melting as the infant cooed in the stroller hidden from the sun via the visor.

Tori’s scrutiny of the little baby allowed her to catch the similarities such as the nose and mouth, but the rest was the father. There was something in Faye’s features that tickled her mind as if she had seen them before.

“It’s not something I like to flaunt. I prefer keeping my work life separate from my personal life.” You informed the seasoned dancer and choreographer.

A few more words of conversation commenced until Tori was called over to Paul with a clipboard in hand. The incessant feeling of eyes peering at you on the walk to the modest trailer you shared with Tori. It was easier for crew members to share trailers with the little time you typically spent in them.

With practised ease, your hands unstrapped Faye from her stroller into your arms where she cuddled into your neck. For the most part, Faye was an easy-going baby with an affinity for cuddling, but of course, that didn’t make her perfectly well behaved.

“Best be getting over to the office.” You cooed at the suckling sound Faye made with her fist pressed against her open mouth.

Kenny had personally hired you after working on Descendants as a casting director with healthy mutual respect. Often if at the time you were free, you found yourself working with the legendary man. He was lenient with the new addition of Faye as well, going as far as to see he was a great-uncle.

“Would this be Miss Faye?” Kenny asked from his seat at the head of the table with a handful of filled cars.

Jeremy, Owen, Madi, and Savannah sat with the newest script for the next episode leaving you to avoid looking at Charlie. Now it the typical Wattpad storyline you had fallen for the Canadian actor who reciprocated the feelings. A few hangouts and flirting, but he had no clue about the most significant piece of your life.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t have a sitter, and the daycare had unforeseen extensive renovations.” You spoke softly bouncing as Faye’s little body tensed up with a whimper.

“I’ve been begging you to bring her on set. It’s about time.” Kenny retorted walking swiftly to coo over the little girl. His action bringing the cast members closer, Charlie’s solemn stare never leaving as he came closer.

“She’s so cute! How old is she?” Savannah questioned as the brown-eyed little girl blinked at the multiple faces.

“Eight months now. My little surprise.”

“Definitely a surprise for sure,” Charlie mumbled just on the cusp of everyone being able to hear, but Faye had all the attention.

Within seconds Faye had found herself in the arms of Owen with funny faces to get the little baby to laugh. Savannah, with your permission, had started snapping pictures of Faye’s interactions with everyone. Kenny had retreated to his computer while Charlie pulled you just outside the door.

“You have a kid?” Charlie hissed keeping distance between the two of you as the situation settled, “We’ve been on a handful of dates, and you kept your baby a secret?”

Your heart sank, “Do you know the chances of a guy dating someone with a kid? Joshua Jackson’s character in Mighty Ducks talking with his coach? Guys left his mom in the dust when they caught a glance of him.”

“You know me.” Charlie stressed glancing over his shoulder at the distracted group of young adults. Faye’s giggle drawing awes from every single individual in the room, even Charlie’s lips quirked at the sound.

“Charlie, that little girl is my blood. Every single decision I make has her in mind. I wasn’t keeping her from you maliciously.” You informed him trying to meet his gaze, “Her name is Faye Eloise. She adores music and this tiny fox her uncles got her.”

Charlie’s shoulder lowered slightly, “She is pretty cute.”

“Her laugh is my favourite sound in the entire world. She’s a replica of her father more than me.” Your lips lifted gazing over Charlie’s shoulder to Kenny, engaging in a one-sided conversation with Faye.

Charlie’s green gaze examine our expression pinned on the tiny little human you had bonded for months with. The pure adoration coating your features softened the ball of anger in Charlie’s belly, that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt. But seeing the fundamental protective instincts you displayed, your body coiled to dash to Faye. Your gaze that periodically ensured Faye was safe.

Charlie saw the maternal love that poured out of you that he often caught in his own mother’s eyes. That very thought led to an in-depth conversation with his mom later when he was in the safety of his bedroom.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Jeanette spoke with her phone on speaker. The silence drawing her concern, “Charlie? Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure. That girl I’ve been seeing?”

“Y/N, she’s on the crew with Kenny. She’s all you’ve been talking about lately, and you’ve already told me she may be The One.” The words caused Charlie to involuntarily smile at the call after the second date with you. Charlie didn’t feel half-hearted, he felt with his entire soul.

“I still think she is, but she’s a package deal,” Charlie admitted scrubbing one hand through his hair sending the bandana keeping his hair out his face to his lap.

Jeanette took a moment in cleaning her kitchen to sit at the island to click the phone off the speaker. The phone resting against her ear, she gave her full attention to her youngest son.

“Charles. I don’t want to ask you this, but is she pregnant?” Jeanette questioned, holding her breath in complete anticipation. She’d like a few grandkids but preferably when the time was right for her children.

“No. Mom! I didn’t get her pregnant.” Charlie groaned at the hesitant toe tipping into a conversation he’d rather not relive from his teens, “She has a daughter.”

“And? Is that a deal-breaker for you? You talk like she’s the love of your life Charlie, you’ve never spoken about any of your previous girlfriends like that. You’re not even officially dating her either.” Jeanette replied, watching Meghan settle in for an episode of her current favourite show; the only Gillespie child visiting at the moment, “Are you willing to walk away because she had a child?”

“Faye is absolut-“

“-sounds like you answered the question with the adoration in your voice. You don’t have to run to the nearest chapel to get married. If you love both of them, give it a shot.” Jeanette advised her son smiling when Charlie’s breathing evened out more.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Jeanette knew in her very marrow that in time she would meet little Faye, call it mother’s intuition but she was sure of it.

It was the week of hell with the daycare still shut down, your back up babysitter on vacation and Faye upset. Charlie barely spoke to you as he tried to find his footing in the new dynamic and the space he had rightfully asked for. It was hell seeing him at work and only speaking for work requirements.

“Sh.” You hushed bouncing with Faye curled in your arms as her mouth twisted, “As a casting director and Kenny’s complete faith in me. I made a suggestion to Soyon.”

A line appeared between your eyebrows as Faye’s snuffled against your soft hoodie while trying to focus on the cast. The boys, Madi and Booboo sat in the room for a short meeting during the time the next scene was being set up.

“Kenny and I talked about your personal connection to your characters. There’s the smallest disjoint some of you have. Kenny’s always preached about everyone having a voice and to make suggestions.” You could cry as the ache in your arms increased from holding Faye, she’d cry every time you tried to put her down.

Mom life when you can’t put your baby down to pee alone in peace. Faye getting her shots and recovering from a stomach bug didn’t help.

“Are you okay?” Madi asked, catching the expression that came and went in seconds. The cast watching as you continued to walk around the room with Faye.

“I’ll be fine.” You shrugged the concern off closing your eyes to ground herself once more juggling the concern for Faye with your job, “Soyon and I want you to put a personal detail in your character’s style. If you think of anythi-“

Faye’s sharp cry echoed in the room, “Shh. I’m so sorry guys. I’d put her down, but she won’t settle-“

The cuts ended when Faye was gently tugged from you into a warm chest and soft coos in the little baby’s ears. Your sore arms dropping as Faye’s weight was coaxed into Charlie’s body and your jaw dropped. Charlie’s rhythmic pace and soft coos turning into a lullaby easing the baby.

“Wha-“

“-can’t have the little boss upset.” Charlie shot a coy smile resurrecting the confidence in the relationship. The smile grew when Charlie’s tiny nod at your unspoken question eased you.

“Is there anything you’d like added to your character? Outfit suggestions?” You inquired catching the hesitant gaze of the young actress.

The Puerto Rican teenager had quickly become a game-changer for the production as a first time with such an incredible talent. The second you saw Madi’s audition tape it had sealed the most critical role; Kenny adored the audition tape you had forwarded so fast.

“Could we do something for my mom?” Madi asked, biting her lip as your eyes encouraged her to delve deeper into the request, “My mom is in the army, and I’d like to pay homage to her?”

Your hand landed on her own in a squeeze, “We can absolutely do that. Head over to Soyon when you have a moment. What about you, guys?”

The three boys had gone quiet as Faye settled into a sleep you had been begging for since she missed her morning nap. Charlie had gone from softly singing to humming in the infant’s ear while Jeremy and Owen watched.

“Do you think Luke could carry the Rabbit’s Foot?” Charlie whispered, resting his head against the infant in his arms.

“I’m sure Soyon would have no trouble with that. Jeremy, Owen if you figure something out just let Soyon know. All suggestions are welcomed.” You informed the duo before starting to reach for Faye.

 Charlie stepped back while the 2/3rds of Sunset Curve left with Faye still held securely bouncing a small degree. The scene warmed your heart as Faye slept for the first time in what felt like years.

“I can take her if you want.” You told the actor with arms already reaching out to him but contradicting your expectations he’d back off.

Charlie’s green eyes focused solely on the tiny mouth opened just slightly with the soft breaths wafting from her small frame. At that moment cradling the small life the wall separating him shattered; the love flooded his veins, and he knew. He would fight anyone that hurt the little angel with no consequences in mind.

 “I’d like to hold her longer. I need the practice for when you need a nap.” Charlie replied, shifting his gaze onto your form. Charlie’s heart clenched at the unsure glint in the eye of Faye’s mother.

“Oh.” You simply spoke stepping closer to the man that had easily stolen your heart, holding your entire world in his gentle hands.

“I know it won’t be easy, but I would really like to give us a real chance. No secrets anymore. The minute I saw her, my heart melted, but I got scared, and I’ll always carry that regret in my life. I want to be here for you and for Faye.”

Charlie fell into the father figure as easy as breathing creating a bond that almost made you jealous with the ease. He adored playing music during Faye’s bath time, and in the special bath time with bubbles, he would create a beard; it sent Faye into giggles every time. He absolutely loved when you brought Faye to set.

Leaving Faye in Charlie’s capable hands, you had taken your break from work to freshen up in the washroom. Grabbing a quick bite, you rushed back to Charlie having gone over your time by a complete accident.

“I am so sorry! I got distracted by-“ You were almost surprised the sudden stop in motion would cause a burnout. Working through lines was Jeremy, Owen and Charlie; Charlie new accessory being a baby sling with Faye strapped against his chest.

“Hey, Babe! We have no filming the afternoon of Friday, it’s blocked for Madi. Jer and Carolynn offered to babysit. We could do a date night.” Charlie fully turned to face you lightly bouncing to keep Faye settled.

The sight of Charlie with Faye securely in the baby sling, one that you didn’t own and was the best one on the market, was incredibly sweet. It was at that moment that you just knew that Charlie was The One and you are deeply in love with him.

“They don’t have to. I was planning on telling you tonight that Faye’s father is in town, he has Faye for Friday to Sunday. You informed Charlie as he walked closer to tug you into his embrace with Faye.

Now while you had been dating Charlie for two months at this point, the topic of who Faye’s father hadn’t come up. It was a topic that found its way for discussion, but his name never came up; it didn’t matter.

“Oh. we should give them a moment.” Owen whispered to his fellow actor and friend. With a withering glance, they froze in their places.

“Why? Faye’s father is an amazing guy. He has a specific time for calling Faye, we have a group chat for Faye. We send pictures and updates to him.” Charlie informed them, “There are no hard feelings. We all trust each other even if I’ve never met him.”

When Friday came along, it sent Charlie into a near-constant state of panic with the thought of meeting Faye’s father. He couldn’t sit still, well it’s Charlie he can’t sit still, but this was nervous energy. He’d contribute little to the conversations with eyes periodically checking the time.

Charlie was alone without you or Faye on set, you had let Kenny know the significance of the date. Charlie had left your apartment with a kiss from both you and Faye in order for the apartment to be cleaned up.

“What’s up with him?” Madi inquired as her tray made contact with the table shared by her ghostly trio. Jer sent a look to Owen before answering.

“It’s the weekend that Faye’s father will be in town. Charlie’s freaking out about meeting him.” Jeremy supplied typing a reply to Carolynn from just before lunch.

“Oh, is he worried about Y/N getting back together with him?” Madi asked jabbing the straw into her drink. Her brown gaze watching Charlie’s leg bounce like a jackhammer.

“No. Not about that. His scenes are done so he’s waiting for Y/N to pick him up.” Owen stated, leaning back as the man in question took off running in his street clothes to the parking lot, “Did he leave burn marks with that sprint?”

In the typical routine that never stopped the flutters in his stomach, you leaned over to hum into a kiss. Breaking apart Charlie caressed your finger gently before straightening into the passenger seat. Out of habit, he checks over his shoulder where Faye was strapped in her car seat.

“Oh, one moment,” Charlie exclaimed jumping out of the vehicle to open the back door. He quickly in to kiss Faye on her forehead, “I missed you Bug.”

Faye’s giggled in response as Charlie closed the backdoor to return to the passenger seat with a beaming grin. Charlie loved his girls with all his heart even in the short amount of time he had been in their lives.

“We’re meeting at his place.” You told the Canadian actor focusing on the drive, “He’s been renting a place since Faye was born. It’s easier for everyone to not stay in a hotel or an apartment.”

Charlie hummed in response, watching as you left the general vicinity of the set for one of the gated communities. It wasn’t the incredibly high-end community, but it was on the pricier side, but it was safe. His eyebrows raised at the houses the vehicle passed as he sang for the baby in the back.

“This is where he’s renting?” Charlie scoffed scanning the vast neighbourhood of houses, “Whoa.”

The chuckle fell from your lips as you pulled into the driveway of the address you had received via text messages. You had barely stepped out of the vehicle when Charlie already had Faye’s car seat in his arms. Cradled in the crook of his arm he held out his free hand to intertwine with yours.

“Any advice before we go in there?” Charlie questioned glancing at Faye gurgling with her stuffed Snowy Owl.

So passionate for nature, he had found an organization that sells the stuffed animals of animals in jeopardy. The money from sales of the stuffed animals when to saving the animal bought, so when he got Faye the Snowy Owl, it put money towards saving the animal. Faye adored her stuffed owl just as much as the person that bought it.

“Just be yourself. Tom and you are similar in terms of people down to earth and close with your family.” You informed him of pushing the button for the doorbell while Charlie stared at you.

“His name is Tom?” Charlie asked thinking back to the messages he had added as Faye’s father, he felt stupid he didn’t know the name of the guy who was a big part of your life.

“Did we never introduce you in the group chat?” You questioned as the door opened to the 5’8 brunette and glittering brown eyes.

Charlie’s eyes widened at the first physical appearance of your ex and Faye’s father standing in front of him. Tom was the same height as Charlie with brown eyes and a pale complexion but a childlike aura. Tom’s eyes met Charlie’s before they beamed down to the happy baby.

“’ello. Come on in.” Tom ushered you and Charlie into the home straight to the living room, “I’m Tom, can I get you anything to drink?”

“Charlie.” The Canadian actor spoke, shaking his hand with an equally welcoming smile as you gently took Faye out of her car seat.

“Hi, little Holly.” Tom cooed as his now eleventh-month-old child lunged into his arms with loud giggles, “That’s a cute owl you have there.”

“Y/N!” The overjoyed announcement came from Tom’s young brother Harry holding the camera that you’d never seen more than a few metres from him.

Faye’s uncle quickly squeezed you in a tight hug before pulling away to scan your form as if something drastic had changed. Charlie awkwardly watched as he settled into a little family, he wasn’t familiar with.

“Charlie, this is Tom’s younger brother Harry. Harry this is my boyfriend Charlie who I met on the set of his show.” You gestured for Charlie to come closer and just like that the three guys acted like they’d been friends for years.

You and Charlie didn’t linger at Tom’s house more than an hour to give Tom’s the entire weekend with his daughter. Of course, you would worry about her the whole time, but you also knew Tom didn’t need any help. You completely trusted him, but you can’t help it when the child is yours.

“Where’d you get Faye the owl?” Tom asked, leading Charlie to beam in excitement.

“Oh! Well, I use my platform to bring awareness and support to the environment internationally. The Canadian Wildlife Federation has a website that sells adoption kits for animals. Every purchase of the animal in their Adopt-an-Animal program funds the research and critical conservation programs for at-risk species.” Charlie used his hands as he rambled on, “By adopting this stuffed Snowy Owl it further funding for conservation efforts to protect Canada’s Arctic environments.”

Tom’s lips pulled into a grin, “My brothers and I have a charity we use to host events to raise money for the smaller charities. Maybe in the future, we sit down for a deeper conversation? You can send me a few links that I can share as well.”

“We have dinner plans. Keep me posted?” You interrupted, leaning into Charlie’s warm side with a kind smile to Tom.

Goodbyes shared you left the house with Charlie to the vehicle he adamantly asked to drive with that charming smile. The radio on low you watched the scenery go by.

“Tom’s an amazing guy. Family-oriented, kind, supportive, charitable and a really nice guy. Why did you guys break up?” Charlie asked, glancing at you from the corner of his green eyes. Your eyes, however, kept focused on the blurry landscape.

It wasn’t a way to avoid the question, “We became acquainted on Instagram back before he landed the role of Spider-Man. Over time it developed into a relationship that wasn’t serious or long term. We actually broke up a week after we conceived Faye.”

The two individuals stared stock still at the screen of black, white and shades of grey on the monitor. The tiny little bean moving around with the consistent thudding in the background. Your lips parted as the doctor’s words of a positive pregnancy, repeating like a broken record. Tom’s handheld tight as he digested the news.

His ex-girlfriend of three months, you to be precise, had been the safe place for a fetus to grow. Estimated gestation of eleven weeks it felt the two young adults spiralling with the large what-ifs making their presence known.

“Pregnant. That’s a baby.” The words came out shaky on the British man’s lips, “I put that baby in you. You are carrying my child, but it’s your choice if you want to keep the baby. It’s your body going through the changes.”

“I’d like to keep baby H.” You softly responded, sharing a smile of disbelief as it settled that a life-changing event would come to fruition in six months.

“We tried to make it work, but it became obvious that the spark had been gone for too long. I’ll always care for him and love him, but I’m not in love with him.” You told Charlie as he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant chosen for the date.

“He’s a really good guy.”

“He’s an amazing father. I lucked out in the romance department, to be honest even if it didn’t work out with Tom.”

The topic was shelved for lighter conversation based on the things you missed on set today. Owen almost broke his nose in some stupid stunt that Charlie was involved in while you recounted the new music Faye had taken to.

Julie and the Phantoms renewed for a second season with a few new characters being introduced such as paramedic Lucy. Lucy would be a recurring character on the show with a connection to the boys. Julie would detest the woman that she believed was trying to replace her mother, and that would cause tension with her father. It would bring in a storyline for Ray manoeuvring his way through the guilt of finding someone attractive other than his wife. Beyond Ray, the boys would know Lucy as she was a rookie paramedic called to their accident site in the ‘90s.

With the new character and some more recurring ones, Kenny had wholly placed his trust in your again. Working from home due to the pandemic you compiled an extensive list of potential actors.

“Supper is ready.” Charlie breathed leaning down to kiss your cheek in the home office you shared together.

In his arms was Faye who had recently turned two years old with bouncy brown volumized curls with your eye colour. Faye loved being outside in the backyard or short hikes with Charlie vigilantly keeping an eye on her walking. Often you let the hiking be their thing together while you had the alone time or worked.

“Smells good.” You breathed kissing over to kiss the little girl, “Hello Tink. Are you excited to see Nana and Papa?”

“Mhm!” Faye spoke with her eyes twinkling at seeing her English grandparents with their silly accents. With her grandparents came their rambunctious uncles Harry, Sam and Paddy and her favourite family member Tessa.

“Daddy can’t wait to bring you to where he grew up.” Your fingers gently pushed the rebellious curl off her pudgy cheek.

“Then Dad and Mom can go on their honeymoon.” Charlie joked with a peck on the cheek of his little girl.

The glint of the ring on Charlie’s finger screamed at you with the recent memory of the intimate wedding. It had taken place a few months ago with your family and friends in attendance with Tom as well. He had even stood up with Charlie and even had a charming speech.

Gillespie Wedding

The Brit shuffled on the stage just before the guests all wearing masks and spaced following guidelines for the pandemic. His own black mask hung off one ear as he stepped up to the microphone.

“Hello, my name is Tom.” He introduced himself setting his eyes on the wedding party table with a grin, “Some may find it off for an ex-partner to be a guest at the wedding let alone being a part of the wedding party. Some of you know that I share an absolutely gorgeous and rambunctious little toddler with the bride.”

Faye waved enthusiastically from her seat beside her mother earning a chuckle from the attendants.

“I was blessed with meeting Y/N and having a daughter with her. We’re not like a lot of ex-couples because we remained close friends. She was open from the moment she knew there was something with a certain Canadian actor. The three of us created a group chat to share updates for Faye like when she popped her first molar tooth. The was a period I never want to relive” Tom laughed shaking his head with his deep brown eyes scanning the crowd, “Charlie had no clue that I was Faye’s father and his expression was priceless.”

“I never mentioned his name to Charlie! I never even realized until we dropped Faye off. Charlie knew Tom is an actor but not one of the Tom’s in Marvel.” You shouted over the laughter from the guests.

“We bonded, and we’ve never had any issues with our places in the lives of these darling young women. Faye has a loving mother and two fathers that will help her navigate life and protect her. I want to tell Charlie this: when Faye graduates from high school and maybe university if she decides to continue formal education and her wedding. You’ll be walking her down the aisle with me. I consider you one of my best friends, and there is no one else in this world I would trust with my little girl. I wish the bride and groom lifelong happiness in the new chapter. To Charlie and Y/N Gillespie!”

Now months later you had moved into a four-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles with Charlie and Faye. For the time being the third bedroom was rented out to Owen when he was in town to lower your rental fees and give him a stable residence. For a four-bedroom apartment, it was on the smaller size, but it was close to areas for Charlie to hike.

“How are you feeling?” Charlie murmured helping you off the couch revealing the bump you had been sporting for a while.

Baby Gillespie was healthy and robust and very much a surprise to the young couple. Charlie was sure the baby would be a boy while you full-heartedly believed Faye would have a little sister.

“Can’t wait for this little bun to be in our arms.” One hand coming to rest on top of his hand over the warm crewneck sweater.

The sweater came from a package of gifts Madison’s family had sent to celebrate the news of the baby on the way. The sweater was a light grey colour with the outline of phantom blobs with their guitars. The only addition was a baby phantom blob with over-ear headphones with a pacifier in the mouth. Absolutely adorable and a gift to be cherished.

“I still think if baby G is a girl, we name her Lucy.” Charlie teased leaning forward with the belly, keeping him at a distance.

“We are-“ The words unheard as Faye made her appearance known on the baby monitor keeping an eye on the toddler. Charlie was turning the corner from the living room to grab the little girl.

“Hey, sweet Angel.” Charlie’s soft words came through the speaker with the same care he’d shown her the entirety he’d known her.

You really did luck out with a beautiful daughter adored by both her fathers she had wrapped around her pinky. The paternity of Faye didn’t matter to Tom or Charlie, both mutually respecting each other with no ill will. The two male actors had grown a lovely friendship on mutual interests and passion for the environment and charity.

The fond smile grew as your eyes found the picture from Faye’s first birthday; her hands high in the ear coated in the smashed cake. Pudgy cheeks a rosy pink with Charlie and Tom on each side kissing her cheeks. Tom’s brother Harry had caught the candid picture with Faye’s infectious smile and surrounded by the love of her family.

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