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xeeroo08 · 8 months

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Astr observations 《4》

Disclaimer: I am not an astrologer. This post is only for entertainment purposes, so whatever I have mentioned, if it is reasonates, well and good, and if it doesn't, then please take it with a grain of salt. Thankyou.

🛖 Aries in 3rd house may have a very reckless yet mature behind the scenes relationship with their siblings. They also fight a lot with their siblings for no reason. Surprisingly, this usually goes physical more than verbal. Very playful relationship. There is always a strong urge to hit the other person and irritate them to death. It gives them pleasure. When injured, you might immediately stop the fight no matter how serious it is and take care of each other. Oh, and if someone else dares to trouble any of you, hell would break loose. They can't hear anything bad about each other. In certain cases, this could also apply to mars in 3rd house.

🪵 Dirty mind, Dirty mind, Dirty, Dirty, Dirty mind~ Heard the song? Yeah it's made for those who have their personal planets or ascendant conjuct asteroid Prevert. Trust me, the dumb way to die is by sneaking a glance in their minds. You will be traumatized for the rest of your life and will never look at them the same way again. At any given moment their thoughts are always in gutter. Yeah I am calling myself out at this one. Do I care? No.

🛖 Mars in 10th house folks are really good at dancing. They dance so well.... like you can see the passion in their steps. Dancing can be one of the hobbies in their lives. These people can also be known for dancing professionally and being captivating as hell on social media.

🪵 Lilith in 7th house could indiacte having seen a lot of failed marriages in their life. This could be in their immediate family or even include their own parents. Hence these people have a really different mindset when it comes to marriages. They might even resent the idea of getting married and often question, what's the point?

🛖 Moon in 1st house are babies. Literally babies. Like they look so damn cute and adorable that I just can't help myself but give them a huge hug. They are the most genuine type of people I think because its rarely when what's on their mind is not on their faces. They look so innocent and naive (even if they are legit not.) People just wanna protect them at all costs. They bring out the maternal instinct for them from the other person naturally. But no matter what their warmth is the best comfort zone and their arms are home <3

🪵 Mars in 5th house would definitely be that uncle/aunt/cousin/sibling who spoiled small kids to death and taught them to do weird stunts and create a headache for other family members.

🛖 Transit Saturn in 1st house is really frustrating. It feels like you are doing nothing progressive for yourself and just wasting time. Your efforts go in vain and its really hard to maintain consistency. Sometimes you also realize what mistakes you are making but you find it difficult to correct them. Mental state is always fluctuating and self-confidence is very down. This mainly goes on until the very end when you realize that now you gotta be serious. But when you really do hardwork and break the cycle of laziness, it pays off. Its like an immature, careless kid suddenly becoming a responsible and serious person. Remember, our beloved saturn plays mind games with you. Its either you break free from this if you want the prize or pay the price.

🪵 The people that I have seen to be most likely get cornered, misunderstood and targeted are people having chiron in their 1st house. Its really concerning and hurtful. Because of other idiots these babies get hurt on a very deep and subconscious level. They occasionally have identity crisis and depression is their bestfriend. They try to be happy but life always seems to push something in their way.

For example, I have this relative of mine and she lost her brother a year before she got married. She thought if she starts fresh, it would help. But unfortunately turned out her in-laws were not good people. She was gravely misunderstood by everyone. Even if people knew that it was not her fault, they took great pleasure in gossiping about her, blaming her and literally named her a psycho. Which she is not ofcourse. She was just mentally fragile and instead of understanding her, supporting her, they made her more unstable for no reason.

🛖 Leo venus folks love Cats. They are an animal lover by heart and soul. They are someone who might stop their car in the middle of the road because they saw a really cute cat walking on the sidewalk. Just to go their and mingle with it while thinking, If only I could take it home....

🪵 Cancer moons in 3rd house, please, please stop imitating that baby voice just to butter me up and get your work done. You might think its cute but no, I can see through everything and its so annoying plus immature. Ofc now it doesn't apply to everyone out there but those who do, please take my advice and stop it. Usually I have noticed only underdeveloped people do this but until they realize, its too late and others already find them so annoying. Honestly Cancer moons are so smart yet sometimes they.....*sighs*

🛖 Nessus aspecting Mercury could mean that you often end up hurting people through your words or the way you communicate even when you genuinely don't mean it. These people are really misunderstood a lot of times. Also this works the other way too. For example, you get easily hurt or offended when people speak ill about you. They might just share their opinion on your new home decor but instead you would feel insulted when in reality that's not the case. Not that you would hold a grudge, it depends person to person but you will definitely not overlook that. It would just sting a lot for no reason. You will always wonder, why did she say that?

For positive aspects, this could work out well too, for instance they know exactly what to say and what not to. They can be great negotiators, entrepreneurs and social influencers. They also know how to handle people embodying nessus qualities like a troll or opposition hell bent on creating trouble. Hard aspect people will slowly learn to overcome their problems in communication with time and experience.

🪵 Mars opposite MC screams suppressed anger. The thick tension between their anger and self-image is unbelievable. They don't like to get angry in public. They often gulp down their anger to the last extent because they don't want their reputation to get spoiled because of it. Sometimes its automatic they wanna get angry at someone but end up swallowing it anyway. But please don't test their patience. They might just explode unexpected at any time like a nuclear bomb and destroy everything within their range, not caring about their public image whatsoever.

🛖 Lilith in first house/Conjuct Ascendant are the infamous bad examples of the family while Lilith opposite Ascendant are the good examples with secrets darker than nightsky- always holding their sanity with a single string. Ironically, both are siblings, two sides of the same coin.

🪵 Remember, in one of my posts, I said that I don't relate with Aquarius rising and their unique fashion sense? Well, guys, I finally cracked the mystery! It's not our fashion sense that's unique. It's us. We are the aliens. Ok, that was a bad joke. But really, for example, a few months back, I wore a very pretty dress at my cousin's wedding. And istg people were looking at me like I was an alien, like I wore something totally out of the blue. As if It was not something improper or overdressed but very different than what everyone was wearing, which, of course, was not the case.

Now the funny thing is, if it was someone else wearing the same dress, I don't think anyone would've said anything about it. And voila! It happened. A few days back, I attended a family function, and I saw a girl wearing the same dress in different color and design. And fr nobody uttered a word. Those same people overlooked her as if it was totally normal. As if they didn't just make me talk of the town for a whole week because of that dress. So yeah, finally figured out, it's me, I am the problem.

🛖 Its not always true when they say Earth Mars people are calm and collected. I mean they are but suppose you have a virgo mars but you also have a Leo or Aries or Sagittarius stelium, your Virgo mars will be crying in the corner while that fire stellium will create a havoc and burn down the whole world in matter of some seconds.

🪵 North node in 11th house people are so likable. They are that one friend who knows the entire school and vice versa. So many connections and so many new friends. They just keep making connections left and right no matter where they go. People like to be in their contact. This gives me 'popular girl' vibe.

🛖 You sneaky little thing, you think no one knows how much you love reading smut? Yeah you, I am talking to you, Scorpio Jupiter/3rd house. Look me in the eye, I dare you to deny this.

🪵 Mercury conjuct Mars.... man, they literally spit fire when they talk. Can't win any argument against them. Ngl, I told my friend that I would leave her if she doesn't keep her hands off me special mention to her love language that is playfully hitting me at any possible situation. She just laughed and said, "Go, nobody would take you." Me: Cries silently. Her: I know baby truth hurts. Lemme give you a hug.

🛖 If you have no positive aspect to sun in your natal chart, it might be possible that people don't like your personality much. They think you are too egoistical or full of yourself. They might also backbitch about you a lot. Now this is just what I have observed so far. So it may not reasonate with everyone.

🪵 People with Sun conjuct Ascendant make very great leaders. They have a king/queen Aura surrounding them. And when they speak or share their opinion, people actually listen and take them seriously. When they walk in a room, they make sure everyone knows who has the authority.

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yesimwriting · 7 months

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Promise

a/n yes im using the princess! reader who's about to be forced into a political marriage with anakin again,, and what about it the vibe is so fun to me, also i love jealous anakin

warnings: 18+!!! smut (he broke me down) written by someone whose only experience comes from fanfics, so pls be nice,, also written in 1st person bc that was the vibe when i started and i didn't realize this was going to get smutty (i'm sorry yall😭 it's still my best tense)

Summary: As a princess, your future is set in stone. You'll marry someone your father picks for you to aid your country. All of this you've accepted...until you befriend Anakin Skywalker, who was originally assigned to guard you during a time of political unrest on your home planet.

----

He's still near the door, arms crossed and expression as stoic as it was when he first interrupted my meeting to escort me to an urgent consultation with my father.

I understand that publicly we need to remain as indifferent as physically possible and that any sort of friendliness we display needs to seem completely surface level. But we're not in public anymore and usually the transition from appropriate indifference to something much warmer is instant.

"...How urgent is urgent?"

The question is more for our sake than anything else. I want to hear his voice outside of the stiff way he interrupted the meeting with that last suitor. He had barely looked at me as he mumbled something about my father. I want it to feel light the way it usually does between us. I want him to make one of those jokes that always has me rolling my eyes or to smile or--or to do anything that makes him feel like Anakin.

The urge to study him begins to make it hard to just stand there so I turn towards my vanity. What I'm wearing isn't exactly inappropriate for a closed door meeting, but it's more formal than I'd like and a little itchy. If I have time to change into something more standard, I'll take it. "If I call Raina in here I can be in something a lot more comfortable in five minutes."

No response. I smooth my hair back with my palms, eyes subtly shifting towards his reflection in the mirror. Anakin's taken the slightest step forward. "Anakin?"

His head tilts downwards, eyes briefly meeting mine in the mirror before darting away. There's something about the way he's holding himself that would feel bashful it was less stiff. "There is no meeting."

"What?" My head instinctually snaps in his direction. Anakin's already watching me. "You--you made up an emergency?"

This is--Anakin interrupted a meeting with the first suitor that didn't make my skin crawl. I wouldn't have been thrilled to walk down the aisle with him, but I could have likely learned to be content with him. At least he believes that women can do more than just be brides and raise children. He'd allow me to participate in some community work to bond with his people and I'd be able to visit home.

But that's besides the point. He could have been the most repulsive candidate my father had found for me and it still wouldn't have justified what Anakin did. I don't walk out of meetings. Ever. If my father finds out about this...

"Do you have any idea what my father will do if he finds out?" I sit the edge of my vanity's seat with a tired sigh. There has to be some excuse. I could blame it on sickness or a misunderstand or--

"Then I'll take the blame." Anakin's words pull me out of my thoughts. His voice is still stiff and lacking its usual warmth in a way that only adds to my unease. Why is he acting like this? "I'll tell him that it was my fault and that I misunderstood your schedule debriefing."

My fingers dig into the soft fabric of my dress that's pooling over the seat. "Don't." My voice sounds so small, so vulnerable I have to hate myself for it. "He might take that the wrong way and--" I exhale slowly, forcing myself to cling to rationality. "And he might arrange your removal."

Anakin scoffs. What is his issue? "Like that'd bother you."

My throat tightens. After everything we've been through, after telling him things that I've never been able to tell anyone...How can he just dismiss all of it? And why is he being so mean? "What?"

"You've found your ideal suitor and now you can get married and be sent away and never--" Anakin cuts himself off, eyes tearing away so quickly like there's painful about looking at me. "You don't need me anymore."

Oh. That's what this is about. "Anakin." He's staring at some distant point on my wall. "That's not true. You know it isn't."

Everything about him remains stiff. "You were smiling." He briefly glances at me, eyebrows drawn together so sharply it tugs at something in my chest. "A real smile, not your practiced one." Anakin lets out a sigh that feels as pointed as a sarcastic laugh. "And you laughed."

"What?" I'm not miserable in one meeting and now he's acting like I hate him. "I--I might have been making the best of it because he's the first suitor who didn't spend the entire time listing off the requirements for his bride, but that isn't the same as liking him." And even if I liked him, would that be such a terrible thing? Would it really undermine our entire friendship if I found a way to be married and not miserable? "I'm going to have to marry one of them at some point, and I d--"

"Don't marry him." Anakin blurts the sentence out in one wavering breath. The letters run together so closely it feels more like a single word.

For a moment, all the shaky request does is sit between us. I've been on several outings and meetings with potential suitors and Anakin's never reacted like this. What was so wrong about this last one? "Don't marry him? What do--"

Anakin's eyes finally meet mine. The way he's looking at me stings, all glossy eyes and a pouty frown that's trying its best to be harsh. He seems more pained than angry and that's somehow worse.

Don't marry him. The words too strained and small to be about just the man from earlier. Don't marry him means don't marry any of them.

Oh.

I scratch the back of my wrist as Anakin's eyes drop to the ground. He knows that I have no interest in marrying for my father, but even if I did, why would that bother him?

With a sigh, I push myself to stand. Why it upsets him doesn't matter. So much is already weighing on him.

Anakin doesn't look up as I start walking towards him. "I--I can't promise that." My nails dig into the skin of my palm. "I wish I could." The words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. "But it doesn't matter." Anakin's rigid as I carefully extend my hand and bend my fingers against his forearm. "You're always going to be important to me."

He pulls his arm forward instinctually. My hold on him loosens, but before I can take my hand back, Anakin adjusts his to squeeze mine. He's holding on just tight enough for it to feel uncomfortable, but I don't mind it. It's grounding.

"Until you're married." He's staring at where our hands sit between us. There's something I should say, something comforting and easing. Nothing's coming to mind. The reality of the situation is set in stone. I'll have to marry eventually and that--that will change things. But it'll never change the way I feel about Anakin.

Anakin, who always listens when I need to purge all of the resentment about the rules that control my life. Anakin, who sits with me when I can't sleep. Anakin, who has the worst sense of humor that can always pull a smile from me even when it feels impossible.

He moves our hands, releasing my hand at my side. The brief loss of contact makes my ribs feel cracked. "No." It's instinctual. "It's--" I reach forward, hand reaching for his arm. "You're the only person I can tell anything to, the only one that never expects anything from me and just--just likes me for who I am."

The realization that Anakin might be the only true friend I've ever had hits me hard and fast. All of that and a part of me has always been selfish enough to imagine what it'd be like to live in a different world that could allow for more. Though, that's barely been a thought that I've allowed myself to have. Neither of us are in a position to get attached to anyone in that way, and even if we were, Anakin wouldn't see me that way. Besides, his friendship is no small thing, so it definitely takes the sting out of the impossible.

"Who wouldn't?" The comment comes out so soft, so absentminded I nearly melt on the spot.

A lifetime of being a daughter instead of a son has a reflexive a lot of people attempting to crawl up my throat. I swallow the bitterness like bile before I can make this about me and settle on a much lighter, "You'd be surprised."

Any lift in his expression falls again. "You don't see it."

I do try to think about it, but nothing that makes sense comes to mind. "See what?" Anakin pauses, lips pressing together. I'm expecting some kind of response. Instead, Anakin shakes his head once dismissively. "Tell me." His lack of response has me gently shoving his shoulder. "I thought we didn't keep secrets."

He lets out a small breath, we're so close I can feel the warmth of it against my skin. "It's nothing." When my only reaction is to glare, he reaches for my hand. "I don't want to talk about them anymore."

Strange. What does whatever he's talking about have to do with what we were talking about? Yes, the suitors want to court me but they want me the same way they want an ornament or my father's leniency in a business deal. Before I can remind him of this, his hand finds my shoulder.

If Anakin notices the way I freeze, he gives no indication of it, he just trails his thumb up and down the start of my collarbone. It's not the first time he's done this, but until now the gesture has been reserved for late nights when I can't sleep. I'm so used to it being soothing that it immediately gets rid of any fight in my system.

"You've had more meetings recently."

I nod, still too focused on the feeling of his hand on my shoulder. "It's a busy time...celebration season is always elaborate, and things are...tense."

He nods. If there's one thing he knows about, it's the precariousness that seems to be reaching everyone these days. But my time with Anakin is limited. He's been assigned to be my personal guard during the celebration season since the year a political protestor took my mother's life. The season always feels like it will be long, but time always slips away quicker than it should when it comes to Anakin.

I know I shouldn't do this. He doesn't need any type of encouragement after what happened at today's meeting, but something's clearly been weighing on him and I do miss him. The additional events, the public outings, the suitors...all to save face as the threat of war continues to become a more pressing issue. "My father had most of my afternoon blocked off in case that last suitor wanted extra time."

Anakin frowns, his thumb stopping its outlined path across my shoulder. He is so dramatic. "I shouldn't be telling you this because it might sound like I approve of you making up an emergency, but if you don't have anything to do, we can catch up."

He tilts his head, a hint of a smile turning up the corner of his lips. "Catch up? We're together all day."

I extend an arm, gently pushing him. First, he basically throws a fit because he convinced himself it was possible for me to like a suitor more than him, and now that I want to do something with him, he's trying to make fun of me. "I mean about before you came here. We've barely had time to talk since you've gotten back."

"Okay," his thumb brushes back down where my collarbone meets my shoulder, "We can talk." He squeezes my shoulder before retracting his hand. "The garden or the library?"

Our two most frequented spots. I grin. "The garden, the weather's nice today." He smiles, taking a step back. "Give me a minute to change. I turn away from him, walking towards my closet. "I've been ready to take off this dress since Raina put me in it this morning."

Raina spent longer than a minute trapping me in between scratchy fabric and a stiffly structured top. All of those ties and buttons that I still can't reach. Ugh. I wonder if calling Raina in will lead to more attention being drawn to the fact that I left early. Technically, the official meeting would likely be over by now but my father wanted it to go well. He kept things open in hopes of it lasting a little longer.

It's probably better not to ask. Drawing any attention to me and Anakin isn't the best idea in general. We're good friends, which is okay in front of some people but wrong in front of others. Raina is a little skeptical. It's nothing personal against Anakin, she just knows me too well, which means she reads into things.

I stretch my arm back as far as it'll go and manage to undo the bottom of the lacing and a few buttons. Anything that's more than halfway up my back is impossible to get to. I twist and turn and push and I can't reach.

"Everything alright?"

Anakin's voice carries through the short hall. I sigh, giving the fabric one last desperate tug. "Everything's fine I just..." I squeeze my eyes shut before pinching the bridge of my nose. "Can you come here?"

A brief wave of silence that leaves my face burning lingers until the sound of footsteps ends it. Anakin appears in my closet's doorway. "You're okay?"

"Yeah," I mumble, "Yes, I just--I can't get the buttons." As if to make my point, I try again in vain, trying again to reach the tiny clasps.

"You need help?" Anakin's voice comes out lower than usual.

Maybe he feels just as awkward about this. "If it'd be easier, you could just call in Raina."

"No," I can hear his weight shifting off the doorframe, "I can do it."

He takes a few steps forward. Before I know it, he's directly behind me. Anakin smooths a hand over my hair before gently moving it over my shoulder. The way heat begins to crawl up my neck makes me glad that my back is to him. His hand settles against my back.

I pull my arms forward, crossing them in front of my chest. He takes over, fingertips grazing against my back. The longer he works, the looser the dress begins to feel. I should be feeling cooler now that I'm getting closer to just being in my thin layering dress, but all of my earlier warmth and discomfort is now rising up my face.

"Raina put you in this this morning?"

I nod, "Raina woke me up earlier than usual today to make me up." The final button is pulled apart. I have to keep an arm at my chest to keep the dress from pooling at my feet. "I think this might have taken longer than my hair."

The comment is meant to be lighthearted. Instead of taking it that way, Anakin lets out a breath as his hand settles against my hip. "Won't things be easier when you don't have to worry about finding a husband?"

Now it's my turn to sigh. I make a point of pulling his hand off my side. I wander further into my closet. "You know I want nothing to do with this." My grip on the dress tightens, my sudden movement making it harder to keep the heavy dress on. "And if you honestly think I find any joy in being packaged in suffocating fabric and bodices so structured that they stab into my ribs every time I breathe, then you don't know me."

I turn around and let go of the dress, allowing the gown to pool at my feet. I step out of the puddle of fabric before reaching for one of my hangers, a casual day dress that I've barely looked at.

"I didn't mean it that way." His voice comes out low, almost reluctant. It's not enough to ease me, so I make a point of scoffing. Something warm pulls on my forearm. Before I know it, I'm facing with him. Oh. Anakin's closer than I thought he'd be. "I'm sorry." He exhales, voice tight, "Don't be mad, princess."

I keep my expression neutral. Though I'm in no mood to be reminded of my title, Anakin has a way of making it feel like a term of endearment. "If you're bothered by my situation, I understand that." He's staring me with such intensity I have to make the conscious choice to not look away. "I really understand that, but do not treat me like this is my choice. Not all of us are meant for more and can do whatever we want."

"Not whatever I want," he whispers, voice strained.

Now it's my turn to wish I had bitten my tongue. Anakin's told me enough of the stories for me to know that while sometimes the fact that he gets to leave and be an active source of good makes me wish my life was different, his isn't exactly easy.

His eyes hold mine for a beat before drifting downwards. For whatever reason, that makes me aware of the fact that this is likely the least dressed I've ever been in front of anyone. Sure, Anakin's seen me in pajamas and casual wear, but the silk dress under my gown is thin and low cut.

"And don't say that this is what you're meant for." He pulls my arm down with his hand, letting his fingers interlock with mine. "I've seen you in meetings and the way that you care about your people. You don't need to do this."

Again, it's like he's trying to convince me to change my mind. Like this is something that I want. I don't understand what he's trying to convince me to do. "Try telling that to my father."

I'm not sure what it is, but something about Anakin's expression looks a little flatter. Maybe even disappointed. I get it, this isn't exactly a fun topic, and we have no reason to dwell on it now. It's not like I'm getting engaged tonight. And I rarely get time to just be around Anakin, my future marriage has already taken enough from me, it doesn't need to take this too.

"Why are we still talking about this?" I pull my hand back, ready to grab my dress. "It's not like anything's happening now, let's just go to the garden like we--"

Anakin reaches forward before I can turn around, his hand finding my shoulder.

"I--" He cuts himself off, "There's been a rise in meetings with potential suitors, it's not as easy to ignore as it used to be."

I know exactly what he's talking about. All of my energy has been focused on not thinking about that. But that's because it's my inevitable future. How could this possibly matter this much to Anakin? "Ignore what?"

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to know what they're feeling? What they're thinking about you?" Anakin's breath catches itself in his throat, his thumb slipping beneath the strap of my dress. "What they're thinking about doing to you?"

Heat rushes to my face. I try to swallow to clear the lump in my throat but my mouth has gone dry. "Anakin?"

"I've spent so long trying to let you go."

What? Is he--is he saying that he-- "What?"

He tilts his head downwards, "You don't need to do this. I--"

"Don't say it." My hand is quick to grab the one he has on my shoulder. Push him away, I should push him away. My hand won't move. The one person I've always known I won't ever be able to have.

"Why not?" He asks the question so innocently, like he couldn't ever fathom a reason for me to shut this down. After a moment, his eyebrows pull together, a small frown playing at his lips. "You don't want me?"

If this was any less serious, that would have made me laugh. That is, most definitely, not the issue. "That's not true."

He relaxes slightly, his thumb trailing down my shoulder. Before I can explain issues that we both are definitely aware of, he leans impossibly closer. His weight on mine is nearly enough to make me forget the concept of logic entirely.

"Anakin," it's meant to be a warning. The breathiness of my voice takes away all of its severity. "We can't." I'm arguing for more my sake than his. He already knows all of the reasons that we need to agree to remain just friends before things get any more complicated. "What I want doesn't matter. Nothing I've wanted has ever mattered." He hasn't moved away, but at least he isn't trying to get any closer. "And even if it did, it's not like we'd suddenly be able to be together."

Anakin's hand adjusts on my shoulder, his grip tightening. He has the audacity to look like he's not sure what I'm talking about. "The Jedi code?" He blinks, still giving no indication of understanding why everything about us is impossible. "I'm sure I don't need to remind you why that matters, chosen one."

He scoffs. "I don't care."

I place my free hand on his chest, willing myself to create some distance between us before my judgement finally lapses. "You can't--you can't say that." My eyes squeeze shut, "I know that it's unfair, but time will pass and you'll feel rational again, and it'll be easier."

"Don't do that." The harsh quality of his voice nearly makes me step back. "Don't treat this like it's a political compromise."

Something about me trying to keep things together the only way I know how is hurting him. I don't know how to get through this without taking the emotion out of it. Still, I don't want to make this harder on him. My hand moves up his chest and rests on his shoulder. "I didn't mean it like that."

He nods slowly, visibly relaxing at my touch, "You're only pushing me away because you're afraid."

"What?"

Anakin's thumb drags across my skin. "You're afraid that if you let yourself even admit that you might want something that your father hasn't decided for you, and that if you're selfish for even a second, your entire world will fall apart."

If it came from anyone else, I'd be offended, but coming from Anakin, it just makes the real reason why I can't just say it and give in hurt more. "That's not it." Anakin doesn't respond. He wants me to say more and I'm not sure that I can. "It's--" What I'm afraid of is that I let myself admit that I want Anakin out loud, I'll have to decide whether or not I want him more than everything I've been working towards my entire life and that I won't like my own answer.

"It's that," I start over, staring at my hand on his shoulder in case looking at him directly will make the confidence I've gathered to wither away. "That if I let myself think about it, about you--like that--for longer than a moment, I might want you more than any of this."

He pauses, likely thinking through his words. Maybe he'll try to promise me that he wouldn't make me choose while not understanding that being with him at all makes that decision for me. Or maybe the amount of care I'm implying will scare him into second guessing this.

His hand slowly moves off of my shoulder. If my deep, dark secret has finally gotten him to understand why we're better off as we are, then maybe it's worth how hard it was to get out.

His fingers settle against my jaw. Slowly, he gets my head to turn. I look at him, expecting some kind of rejection to be written across his face. Instead, all I see in his eyes is a pool of emotion ready for me to drown in. "Would that have to be a bad thing?"

This time, the softness of his question doesn't feel like an attempt to dismiss our reality. It's so genuine it turns into a physical ache between us.

I'm reminded that despite all of his talent, confidence, and sense of humor that I've tried so hard to enjoy less, he's still a boy who's experienced so much heartbreak. The council constantly dismissing him and refusing to grant him the title he deserves, the loss of his mother, all of the expectations on his shoulders...

Would it be such a bad thing to want him more than anything else? To love him more that much?

I tilt my head back, just enough to press my lips against his. Anakin's quick to reciprocate, turning the barely there press of lips into something else with no warning. He shifts his weight so that he's fully against me. My back hits the wall of my closet before I realize what's happening.

It's heavy, my bottom lip being pulled between his teeth. The hand that's not still cupping my jaw settles on my hip, the silk of my slip dress crumpling between his fingers. I pull my head back, Anakin attempts to follow, teeth tugging on my lip one last time before letting us separate.

He doesn't let me get far, resting his forehead against mine as we both struggle to catch our breaths. "I'm sorry, I should have--"

"Don't be sorry," I manage between slow pants, "Not for that."

Anakin smiles, and for once, I don't mind feeding his ego. "I can feel how much you need me." The urge to squirm away and hide any potential embarrassment is strong, but I have no way to act on the impulse. I'm pinned between Anakin and the wall of my closet. He slowly pulls my dress, exposing another inch of skin. "Do you think any of your suitors could make you feel like this?"

I shake my head, "No." That's an easy thing to get out, "Only you."

Another tug that has more fabric pooling around my waist. "Promise you won't marry him." His head dips forward, his lips brushing against the end of my jaw. "Any of them."

My eyes instinctually shut. I need to hold it together. "You--you know I can't just--" He places an open mouthed kiss against my neck. "Anakin."

"Promise." An order.

I exhale, struggling to focus. "It's not--" Another kiss. "It's not f--air." My voice cracks on the last syllable as Anakin moves further down my neck. "You know I'd never break a promise I made to you."

"What's not fair is having to watch you meet with men who look at you and to know that this..." He pulls the strap of my dress off of my shoulder, exposing more skin that he immediately presses his lips against. "Is what they want to do to you."

What? I had never thought that my suitors fantasized about anything, everything about those meetings always feel so cold and political. I'd question it if I could bring myself to care about the revelation with Anakin's teeth pressing into the pulse point of my neck. "To have to watch them look at what's mine."

"Anakin..."

One last shift of fabric and the hem of my dress is now over my hips. His hand leaves my jaw and skims the waist of my underwear. "Promise."

His fingers finally reach where I need him most. My eyes instinctually shut at the sensation, a wave of pleasure I've never felt before nearly making me jump. Noticing my tension, he presses a gentle kiss against my cheek.

I have to give him something, and maybe that'll be enough to at least put this conversation off until I'm in a position to negotiate. "I'm yours." My ability to form sentences is quickly fading as his finger presses into me. "Can't that be enough?" A small part of myself hates how easily I'm cracking. "For now?"

Anakin does the meanest thing imaginable, he stops. "Promise me."

A pathetically desperate whine escapes me. He can't be serious. He won't walk away now just because I can't immediately promise to never marry anyone.

He straightens enough to pull away from the crook of my neck. "Anakin." I meet his gaze, and behind the harshness of his eyes, I see that he means it. "You know I--I can't--"

"We can work it out." That genuine side of him returns, softness bleeding back into his expression. "All that matters is that you want to."

"Of course I want to."

He leans forward again, forehead pressing against mine, "Then promise me..." Anakin's eyes briefly shut, "Promise me you won't marry anyone else."

I let myself take him in, how it feels to let him consume me entirely. It's too late for me, anyway. I wouldn't be able to will myself to walk down the aisle the same way I couldn't force myself to push him away. "I promise."

His lips are on mine in an instant. When I don't part my lips fast enough, he hooks two fingers between the waistband of my underwear and tugs them down my legs in one, swift motion. I gasp, giving him all the access he needs to drag his tongue against mine.

He moves back, beginning to press his lips against my jaw. "Anakin."

"Say it again." His fingers find the spot that makes me see stars. "Promise me that you're mine."

A whiny breath slips past my lips, "I promise." His teeth drag against my throat and my nails instinctually dig into his shoulder, "Only you."

A rough sound escapes from the back of Anakin's throat. He removes a hand from my hip to adjust his own robes. I'm too distracted to realize what he's doing until it's obvious. "Again."

I reach my hand forward until my fingers are wrapping around his length. "Only you, Anakin." He groans. "I--I won't marry anyone else." Anakin places his hand over mine, guiding my hand up and down his length. "I'm yours."

He buries his face in the crook of my neck, "Maker, you're--" The rest of the sentence is murmured into my skin at a pitch that I can't make out.

His fingers press into me even harder. "Anakin," my whininess would be embarrassing if I wasn't so distracted by the coiling feeling in my stomach, "I--I--"

"Tell me," he lifts his head enough to speak the words into my ears, "Tell me that you want me."

My eyes screw shut, "I--It's more than want." It feels like a confession. "I need you."

Another strangled breath escapes him. Anakin pulls away enough to line himself against my entrance. He presses in slowly, the feeling in my stomach reaches a height I didn't think possible. "Anakin."

"You're so," he's getting the words out through gritted teeth, "Tight." Anakin pushes in even more. A gasp escapes me. "Say it again." I'm too lost in what I'm feeling to form the words. He pulls back before pushing his entire length in with no warning. Anakin shows no reaction to the pitchy whine he forced out of me. "Again."

"It's--it's only--you," I pant. "I won't marry any-one else--just--just please, Anakin."

His thumb presses against where my nerves are at their most on edge. I can't breathe or focus on anything. "Please what?"

"I need you."

He rubs tight circles against me and picks up the pace. My head falls against his shoulder, eyes squeezing tight. "Look at me." I--I can't keep my head up. Anakin's hand tugs at my hair, forcing me off of his shoulder. "Look at me."

I force my eyes open. "Anakin."

"Feel good, hm?" All I can do is nod. "Can't even talk anymore?" His lips find their way against my jaw. "What would all your suitors say if they could see how easy it was for me to get you like this?" His lips find a spot on my neck that leaves me dizzy. "First breaking all the rules and now you can't even talk." It's hard to focus on anything that isn't how he feels. "Who has you like this?"

I take a shaky breath, "You, Anakin." My voice is shaky, "Only you."

His lips press against mine. Hard. I give in entirely and it's all teeth and wanting a closer that doesn't exist. He pulls away just as quickly, "I've got you, princess," he exhales, "come for me."

My body knows what to do more than I do. I cling onto him. Anakin's thrusts become less even without losing speed. He continues until an all consuming pleasure has my body practically shaking. My orgasm hits so fast and hard I can barely hold myself upright.

"Oh, you're squee--" Anakin cuts himself off, pulling out before he can finish inside me. "Maker, you're perfect."

After it ends, I expect to be filled with some kind of regret or remorse. Instead, all I feel is a sense of peace as I recover with my forehead pressed into Anakin's chest. He keeps his arm around me loosely. "It's just you and me, princess."

I nod against him weakly, desperate to accept what he's saying. "Just you and me."

He smooths circles against my back. "We'll figure it out together."

It's not an easy thing to believe, but trusting Anakin is natural. I finally lift my head to look at him, "We have time." I don't know how much time, but it's definitely not happening today, and if I can push this until our political crisis becomes the ultimate concern, my father won't bring it up until this is resolved. Maybe if I prove myself as a leader, he'll see that I can be more. "I'm tired."

He smiles lazily, "You're saying I tired you out?" I roll my eyes. "Come on, we have some time before you have to meet with your advisors." Anakin squeezes my shoulder, thumb soothingly tracing a pattern against my collarbone. "Stay with me?"

I have to bite my tongue to keep a much too emotional always from coming out, so I just nod. He takes my hand and leads me into my bedroom. Anakin helps me into bed before laying next to me.

Drowsiness pulls at my eyelids. I fight against the exhaustion as best as I can, but Anakin's gentle touches and whispered terms of endearment aren't making it easier.

"You can sleep," he finally whispers, "I'll make sure you're awake with enough time to get ready for your next meeting."

It's tempting, but after all of this, all I want is to be near him and to--to talk to him and absorb his presence before I can't. "But--"

"I'm not going anywhere," he says, reading my hesitance easily, "We have time."

My eyes are already closed, "Promise?"

Anakin's head dips forward as he presses a chaste kiss against my temple. "I promise."

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #sw anakin #anakin skywalker smut #darth vader x reader #darth vader x you #anakin x reader #starwars #starwars x reader #smut #anakin skywalker fanfic

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tfyoulookingatgiuxs · 2 months

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Needy Boy

Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Needy. This was your boyfriend, Eddie Munson who liked to submit to his sweet woman.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 +18!!SMUT!!MDNI!!! Sub!Eddie, Dom!Mommy!fem!Reader, no use of Y/N, bondage, ball gag, impact play, masochism, slight sadism, degradation (whore, slut etc...), begging, cums in pants, pet names (good boy, pretty boy etc...), praise kink.

𝐀/𝐍: Sub!Eddie Munson is stuck in my head now 😫. Sorry for the delay. I've been really busy lately and it's been hard for me to keep writing and being active on Tumblr!! Sorry for my english this is not my native language. Please support and reblog. Hope you enjoy this one! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

Eddie Munson is your boyfriend.

Obviously everyone's reaction was the same. Everyone was shocked and speechless, needless to say the news spread throughout the school, I mean, you were the girl all along, with excellent grades, polite, professional, kind, and you ended up being in a relationship with the crazy guy in the school. Your opposite. But that didn't matter to you. You didn't care what others thought, you didn't want insignificant obstacles in your way let alone useless words from people who didn't really know Eddie.

He wasn't as everyone described him, perhaps on the surface he might seem serious, scary and insensitive, but in reality Eddie was just a misunderstood boy who knows how to love, in fact he is very attached to his friends and his goals, in fact when he wants he knows how to commit and even if he seems to have a hostile air he is actually shy.

There are so many things no one knows about the "freak" Munson, and you were so honored to know every side of him, every hidden temptation. His every sexual pleasure that makes him hard immediately. Here's something else no one knew, something only you and not even his closest friends know. Eddie Munson, the scariest boy in Hawkins School, likes to be submitted. He can't help it. Your boyfriend loved it when you took control, when he lay on the floor feeling your heels crushing his back, and his little moans at the mere touch made you push harder.

Eddie praised you and adored you, he couldn't do without you, and when he was needy he started acting like a naughty child. Needless to say, when it got too much you went so far as to tell him that you wouldn't fuck him until next month.

Today, however, you couldn't deny that Eddie had done so well that he deserved to be fucked well. It was there. Kneeling before you, his wrists trapped by his favorite handcuffs, they tied high to a bar you added to your bedroom for this type of activity. You weren't going to touch him, you weren't going to. You didn't want to punish him, besides he hadn't done anything to deserve it, but Eddie liked that adrenaline rush, when he begs you to be touched and you denied it to him by doing so making him react by whining and squirming, it reminded you of kindergartners banging feet when they don't get what they want.

In front of him you looked at him with a dominant look while with a whip you hit his bare chest full of tattoos, it was really nice that you would have filled his body full of bruises and scratches.

"Mommy, please touch me I need it" the metalhead begged you again. In response you hit him in the face with the riding crop making him let out a pleased moan "Again..." he almost whispered. You let out a smirk. “Slut likes getting hit in the face?” He nodded as he panted, you noticed how his erection was showing under his jeans, you brought your heel close to it, he tried to say something but gave up, letting out several moans.

“You filthy whore, all you do is whine, what kind of man whines to be touched by a woman?” You exclaimed in a stern tone. You could see a few drops of sweat running down his face "Me mommy, I'm that filthy whore that whines for your touch..." he replied. It was incredible how despite everything he couldn't shut up. Eddie is the kind of guy who does nothing but talk, even in activities like these. You really wanted to slap him until his cheeks turned purple, just to remind him to shut up when he talks too much. A thought no matter how excruciating, you knew he wouldn't mind. You felt Eddie start to rub his erection on your heel. You tugged on his curly hair “What do you say?” He stopped and then looked at you with sweet, innocent eyes. Damn if you loved him...

“Please…” he panted.

“Well done my big boy” your teasing tone could resonate off the walls of the room. Eddie then started riding on your heel again. The metalhead just kept babbling. Jesus, you would have frustrated him for months. You stepped away for a moment to reach for a ball gag in your desk drawer. Your boyfriend couldn't help but hope to go to heaven at the sight. You put the ball gag on him and exclaimed "And now shut up, I can't stand you when you babble too much" he was trembling, a thought about what you would do to him if he disobeyed "Now start again, and don't let me hear you, otherwise I won't make you come, it's clear?" He nodded quickly and then started again. His ears were red as hell, as was his chest, which was breathing slowly to try not to make too much noise.

You caressed him. He was finally behaving as you wanted "Well done Eds, keep going" you praised him and he accelerated his movement "Yes, don't stop my love, I want to see you reach the limit, can you do it for me?" He nodded again and you heard how he spit air out of his nose intensely. He looked up, small tears coming out of his eyes as he looked at you like a perfect submissive could. A hand took care of her unruly curls making them feel loved.

His erection under his jeans felt very good as it rubbed against the top of your foot and the red shoe. He came in his pants with a grunt and stopped looking exhausted.

"How good my Eddie. A really good boy, isn't he?" He nodded again.

"Why that face? I'm not done with you needy boy..." a seductive tone took over your vocal cords sending a shiver down Eddie's spine.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things eddie #eddie x reader #eddie munson x female reader #sub!eddie munson #sub!eddie #eddie munson smut

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sepublic · 1 year

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Anyhow there’s something indescribably sad to the Collector trying to reach out to Belos, of all people, and give him some compassion. Not just for what follows right afterwards, but also...

Part of their arc really is the age-old realization of how life isn’t perfect. Not just with existence and permanence of death, but also in that loss of innocence when you want to believe that you can save and befriend everyone. That nobody is too far gone, that everybody can be happy together!

The Collector has known Philip for centuries; He’s one of his longest relationships, and for Philip, the Collector IS his longest interaction, by a long shot. The Collector has been privy to so many of Philip’s secrets, by proxy of being a source for arcane knowledge, so they know all about the Grimwalkers and his human identity.

They’ve picked up on Philip’s loneliness, his insecurities; Even asking Philip about his anxieties over returning home. They weren’t wrong about any of these things! For centuries, the Collector reassured himself that the two of them were friends, and I wonder if a recognition in their similarities helped fuel this conception for the kid. Made them feel less lonely.

In the end, I kind of get the idea that the Collector cared for Philip, despite it all; Or at least was inspired enough by Luz to give her idea a shot, because if it worked on them, why not Philip? Who is just like them, because Belos thrives on making these comparisons between himself and others to manipulate them! And sure he was mean and a liar, but the Collector misunderstood King to be that, and was wrong! If they just needed help, then Philip...?

And that gets me back to the Collector’s scared and disappointed question, one he’s repeated all his life; What did he do wrong? What did he do wrong, for Belos to not reciprocate, to lash out? They don’t want to hold malice, they just want to get along... It ties back to this idea of kids and even adults kind of seeing themselves as the heroes of their story, there’s a responsibility for them to save others. And if they don’t accept help, then it’s the fault of the person who reached out for not trying hard enough.

It’s the devastating heartbreak that came to Hunter, to any kid who’s had an older, conservative relative who refused to change their mind. Refused to listen, despite all of the compassion in the world. And the grief that some people won’t get better, won’t get happier. And in the end, as Luz recognizes, you just have to admit that it’s up to those people to do so. It’s only your responsibility to a certain degree.

That’s part of Luz letting go of her Hero complex, whereas Belos never gives up on being a Savior, in trying to convert people like Caleb at any cost. Luz reiterates to the Collector that they didn’t do anything wrong, and King’s dad reminds her as well; Luz forgives herself for not being able to do enough, both for being a child who shouldn’t bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, and also for just being a single, flawed person. It isn’t her fault, there isn’t something secretly wrong about Luz for failing to save Belos. You can only give so much support. And after everything he’s done...

Well. There’s nothing wrong about Luz hating Belos, wanting him to die when he pleads for mercy, feebly tries to appeal to “peace” as if he’s ever considered that, spat and killed at every attempt for it by Caleb, his Grimwalkers, the Collector, his followers, Luz; Every kind person he’s met in the isles.

As King’s dad reminds her, fighting the bad guy doesn’t necessarily make you equally evil, because sometimes you HAVE to fight, in self-defense, because those people won’t quit. It’s not required for victims to forgive, nor should they try to appeal to ‘moral sensibilities’ by being palatable in how they retaliate against an oppressor. Anger IS okay and justified, and you shouldn’t feel guilty and be expected to always take the moral high ground.

For a kid like the Collector or even Luz, it’s a heartbreaking epiphany; Not everyone can be happy, no matter how hard you try. As King’s dad notes, you CAN’T control everyone and everything. But eventually, they learn to let go of those toxic people and that obsession; Accept and make the most of that, and find relief in this lesson. The show never admonishes compassion, even if it won’t always be enough; Look at Gus, whose arc involves realizing that while people may take his compassion for granted and even manipulate it, it’s not foolish and eventually there will be those who reciprocate. Kindness does pay off in the long run!

#the owl house #the owl house collector #philip wittebane #emperor belos #luz noceda #meta

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celestialtinkerbell · 2 years

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･｡ﾟ☆° *.Hekate(100)･｡ﾟ☆° *.

Hekate, the triple moon goddess. I can't think of a name that's more badass than that 😭. This was a lovely request made by @moonpluto . Hekate is the goddess of magic and mediumship, so my theory is that her asteroid talks about your spiritual gifts. I will be interpreting this through the houses by using tarotstrology, a concept that I got from @taisoleil.

If you'd like to purchase a personal paid reading or reiki service from me, then you can click here to book 🌌.

First House

Natives with Hekate in their first House could have very strong clairaudient abilities or are just extremely sensitive about they hear. This asteroid indicates a long journey of struggling to accept who they are and being able to see the good within themselves. I feel like these individuals are powerfully gifted with psychic abilities, but don't want them and have tried to walk away from those parts about themselves and their purpose, multiple times. Their purpose could include helping the world in some way but they get overwhelmed by the responsibility and feel singled out on why it has to specifically be them to fulfill this role. They channel stuff with ease but could purposely ignore their intuition, guidance that they literally hear from their guides, or any other outside voices in order to keep their peace. It's like they're scared of their own power.

Second House

Hekate in the second House could indicate a high sensitivity to what you feel, acute clairsentience. It's imperative for these individuals to energetically cleanse themselves often and to seek new atmospheres. They don't do well in old houses (especially haunted ones), thrifted objects, old habits, or anything old or used stuff in general because they can easily pick up what took place which could either be really good or really bad. Having short-term homes, meeting new people, and trying new things is what makes people with this placement thrive in life. Sacrificing and starting over is something that they probably experienced a lot in this lifetime but eventually accepted and used to their advantage. They could have introverted personalities and are easily drained around crowded people and spots. This could also mean probably preferring to not have a cluttered home and loathe the idea of hoarding anything. They could be pushed to learn different protective methods like cord cutting rituals.

Third House

People with Hekate in their third House could be excellent prophets. They're very skilled at guessing games, finishing other people's sentences, and great at foretelling the future but extremely spot on with predicting someone's downfall. Their vibe kind of reminds of the stereotypes about black cats and Bruno from Encanto. They could be accused of hexing or throwing evil eye at others, or could just be seen as someone who brings bad luck because of how they warn others about something that could happen. These are very misunderstood individuals because their help is seen as someone else's demise when really you people are saving lives. You could often have people apologizing to you later in life because I'm picking up scenarios where you're always the go-to person for advice but people end up getting mad at what you tell them, and if you guys are readers then I can definitely see people accusing you of being a fraud or a liar only to find out that you were right about something all along. The powerful thing about your gift, is your honesty, and that's what scares people. You may have to learn to only warn the people that are mature enough to hear what you have to say.

Fourth House

Natives with the fourth house Hekate placement are talented alchemists and manifestors. I keep picking up the fact that energy can be created but not destroyed. These people are always able to turn destruction and nothingness into something amazing. They're excellent at spell-work (jars, candles, oils, etc) are not the type to follow traditional methods because they're able to succeed regardless of what they do or don't have. They could be heavily into new age spirituality and are always into experimenting with new ways and methods to practice it. I feel like they will, if not already, become widely accepted mentors. They're able to introduce spirituality and the occult in a way that makes people feel welcome, easier to understand, and open to accepting it. Even though they're not traditionalists, they value the importance of still knowing the history and reasoning behind stuff while also still giving it respect. Because of their intellect, they're able to convince or convey their point to those who would typically oppose their beliefs (whether it be traditional spiritualists/occultists, agnostics, or scientists). Do not underestimate these individuals because they know their stuff and will argue you down.

Fifth House

Hekate in the fifth house could indicate helping others heal their childhood trauma. You could possibly trigger deja vu or nostalgia in people, but you're able to sit down with them and help sort out their feelings regarding the past and how to let them go. I feel like this is a combination of clairvoyance and clairsentience because I'm getting that how you connect with people is like astral projecting into their younger years and pinpointing when and what started the problem and knowing exactly how they feel to where you sympathize with them and are able to give them the precise guidance that they need.

Sixth House

The sixth house containing Hekate could indicate being really in tune with your higher self and helping others do the same. This looks like shifting people out of a materialistic mindset. I feel like you're able to persuade people into dropping superficial facades if they have one. You reveal to others what their true selves consists of and are able to help them de-program any values that they've learned that's holding them back. You trigger people to make changes in their lives instead of being stubborn with not growing their self-awareness or how they view themselves. They could have a special connection with animals or this can also be interpreted as being able to "tame the beast" within others.

Seventh House

The spiritual gifts of people with the 7h hekate placement, involve mending others trust issues and willingness to be open to love and to receive help. You guys could have healing hands because I'm getting that y'all could really excel in being reiki practitioners. You're able to soothe others with your physical touch (people could love your hugs). You could attract partners that are closed off or have something about themselves that make you want to help them, but this could end up with you possibly living vicariously through them by wanting to fix everything that they're going through.

Eighth House

Natives with Hekate in their eighth house have powerful emotions. When people do you wrong, you want them to burn. I feel like you guys are able to curse others by what you're feeling, or it's kind of like, the pain that's inflicted on you gets returned to the sender, but worse. When people betray you, it's like they're digging their own graves because the karma that they get manifests as mayhem in their lives. This could also indicate being more on the shadow worker side, healing others with darkness, instead of light.

Ninth House

Natives with Hekate in their Ninth house could be great at telepathy, but most importantly, communicating with the other side as well as receiving messages from the spiritual realm. Your most dominant Clair is clear knowing. Individuals with this placement could have pivotal roles in channeling messages for the collective, but could have difficulty with channeling for themselves. It seems as if they're too knowledgeable with everything to the point where their spiritual team blocks them on purpose from knowing too much about their own future.

Tenth House

People with Hekate in the Tenth house could have a strong purpose with healing, mediumship, and divination. (Literally all three) These people are seen as supernatural with their gifts and could literally have a famous or at least very well known reputation for their abilities. These individuals may have started from nothing and experienced a lot of losses and betrayal in order to build their way to the top and share their wisdom with others. They could have had to pull themselves out of darkness and anguish about their existence in order to become a light for others to show the way, meaning that they started off as shadow workers before the become light workers.

Eleventh House

This is interesting. I'm getting that Hekate in the 11th house could indicate living a long life because your gifts get better with time. You guys could also look very youthful as you age. I'm picking up this scenario where you guys will be known as the medicine person in your community. Someone that's well known, loved, and sought out for your metaphysical and holistic methods. You guys are gifted with utilizing different herbs and other natural ingredients to help cure sicknesses. There's also something about your smile that positively changes something within other people. People could see you as an earth angel, which makes sense with your talents regarding natural remedies.

Twelfth House

People with Hekate in their Twelfth house could indicate having access to rare and ancient knowledge about spirituality and the occult, you guys may even have this knowledge passed down in your family. You guys could seem "two-faced", you keep your interest and knowledge about this field to yourself and you're very discreet about your practices. Your dreams may also play a huge part in how you pick up information that most people don't know about or try to keep hidden.

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lifeonmarz-blog · 1 year

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Jupiter through the houses Pt. 2

Jupiter in the 7th- Slow Downnnn. Ya might be extreme in your behavior and very hardheaded. These people love bragging and that attracts alot of people that want to take from them but even if they not bragging the way they carry themselves makes people jealous. You could have no more than the next person but for some reason people think you do. They can have alot of secret enemies. Hella self centered lol. Very territorial, kinda reminds me of a taurus stubborn forsure but will defend their loved ones to the death. Only they can bully the people they love, dont let you try it. They may also feel like they have a point to prove or have to put in extra work to be treated the same.

Jupiter in the 8th- They want a big family and want to do it differently then how they were raised. They hold grudges really bad and need to learn how to forgive people and move on. These type of people can be completely different from their parents. Learning from their mistakes and choosing to do better for their own kids. This definitely isn't a easy one but the patience and perseverance that is learned here is truly admirable.

Jupiter in the 9th- These people know how to blend in where they need to. When it comes to making difficult decisions they procrastinate real bad. Their more cerebral and not as conscious to how their actions effect other people. Practicing being more in your body and not in your head so much would really do them well. They ignore their own feelings alot. Super prone to burnout its like they punish themselves with stress.

Jupiter in the 10th- Public figures vibes foresureee. i bet you wanna be famous. Yall love the spotlight and survive off adoration. You hate feeling misunderstood and will clarify something in a heartbeat. Money hungry forsure and might have a hard time being grateful because you feel such a responsibility on your shoulders like you never have enough. You either put people in position to receive more materially or someone has put you in position to receive more but its probably both. Be cautious not to use people for what they can offer you. A lot of times you feel like you receive no real benefit from the hard work you do.

Jupiter in the 11th- With this placement its like people want you to prove yourself all the time. They wanna see you work hard before they'll help you but once people feel like you've ''proved'' yourself you waste no time and have your foot in every door. You gotta learn how to chill out and not be so defensive you dont have to be so impulsive and defend everything you say or feel. At times you can feel like you have no control over your life and and everything bad happens to you.

Jupiter in the 12th- You may have felt like you had overbearing or very demanding parents. Like a part of childhood was taken away from you. You give yourself unrealistic expectations then beat yourself up if you dont accomplish them. Things could be going downhill for a while before something extreme has to happen for you to acknowledge it. Im not gonna lie this placement is a lil sad because of how critical you are of yourself. You dont have to deal with everything on your own. Talk to people, reach out when you need help.

-luv of marz

#astrology #12th house #astrology101 #astrologyfacts #8th house #astrologychart #astrologyobservations #astrologyzone #1sthouse #astro observations #astrologylover #Jupiter

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salti-thelatediagnosedautist · 1 year

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I am personally 100% for a shitty self diagnosis.

A shitty self diagnosis is usually the predecessor to a fairly accurate self diagnosis.

For me, I didn't think I could possibly have autism because of the stereotypical traits listed (I first started researching in 2013 when most sources were based on children, and not relatable at all to a teenager). So I actually thought I must be bipolar! That was a shitty self diagnosis, but it then later on led to a self diagnosis of autism, which has now become a professional diagnosis of autism.

I honestly hate that there is any dislike to self diagnosis at all... to me it doesn't make sense. Unless you suspect something is "wrong" with you, it's very unlikely you'll just happen to end up in front a psychiatrist or psychologist getting diagnosed. And even if you do it's much less likely that they'll diagnose you with autism unless you have already self diagnosed it.

Lets say someone self diagnoses autism without learning much about it. They just saw a few tiktoks that resonated with them and they went for it.

Here's my thought process.

They are going to continue learning about autism, great!

This means if they don't have autism, they will likely become a lot more empathetic to people with autism. That's awesome!

If they do have autism, that's great too! Another correct self diagnosis, yippee! (This is the more likely outcome BTW! It's fairly uncommon for people to think they are autistic for no reason...)

Or the third outcome is, self diagnosing with autism wasn't correct, but it lead to a correct self diagnosis of ADHD or something else. Great for them!

Here's a second scenario. Someone does a shitty autism self diagnosis. They then see a bunch of posts and comments about how you need to really deeply and responsibly research autism for your self diagnosis to be valid. Or even a bunch of people directly comment that to them.

Then here's my thought process with that scenario.

The person is actually autistic but gets scared out of self diagnosing because they worry they can never research enough. They become indecisive and it takes them much much longer to be able to self diagnose because of fear and gate-keeping.

The person isn't autistic and feels discouraged from doing research towards any self diagnosis. They feel isolated and misunderstood. They get upset that they have been rejected by yet another community.

Now, listen. I know that for us autistic people it can feel like we are being attacked on all sides and that bad self diagnosis is just another way we are being misunderstood. But the thing is, from my POV, professional diagnosis is honestly not much better. At all. Doctors have trouble correctly diagnosing physical conditions, let alone mental ones. Most doctors I've been too couldn't even diagnose a rash. It's honestly sad how useless they can be sometimes.

A self diagnosis is key to finding your correct diagnosis also. Without self diagnosis many people won't have ANY diagnosis ever.

A lot of people with a shitty self diagnosis are also often teens. Lost, confused, misunderstood teenagers. And people who self-diagnose mental conditions are often neurodivergent in one way or another. Whether it be autism, ADHD, depression, we should be accepting them all the same. We are all fighting very similar fights.

Now for my big POV - we can't actually truly determine whether someone has an accurate self diagnosis. We are autistic people, but we can't diagnose other autistics. Pretending that we can is a dangerous game to play. Autism can present extremely differently person-to-person. It's important that we don't forget that.

Basically, I understand that it feel frustrating seeing so many people self diagnosis with autism without much research. But please, even if you disagree with me, at least remember to be KIND.

#autism #actually autistic #asd #late diagnosed autistic #autism diagnosis #neurodivergent #autistic blog #oc #autism spectrum disorder #autistic life #self diagnosers #self diagnosed autism

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undiscovered-horizon · 4 months

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Could I request for Zevlor to be persuaded by gn reader to go on a picnic & they accidentally confessed their feelings to him as they were trying to reassure him that they're happy to spend time with him?

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi | Have a request?

Zevlor is a busy man - there's no doubt about that. From the moment he wakes up until he falls asleep, the only thing on his mind are the lives dependent on him. Which isn't exactly bad, although it might get a little, well, overwhelming for everyone involved.

A wise person once said that "duty is given by others, responsibility taken by yourself". But Zevlor seems to have misunderstood that rather questionable quote and so he treats most things around him as his responsibility. It's not that he wishes to be in control, he just cares a little too much for his own good, never wanting to leave things up to fate if he can help it. And if there's someone who knows how fickle fate can be, it's Zevlor.

He's been looking progressively worse these past few weeks. His red skin began to look sickly ashy, bright eyes lost their twinkle. Once strong hands tended to lose their grip from time to time. Zevlor painted a picture of a man not only exhausted but tormented by his own mind and the awful thoughts that lie within.

Which is precisely why you've decided to take matters into your own hands. If Zevlor doesn't want to take care of himself, always saying that there's no time for such unimportant things, you will do it for him. At first, the idea elicited a rather juvenile embarrassment inside you but then you found it to be motivating. The things we do for the ones we love...

Zevlor is forced away from the scattered manuscripts in front of him as the heavy basket filled with fruit, meats, cheeses and fresh bread is set on the table with a loud thud. He lifts his gaze, only to give you a questioning, confused look.

"You look to be in dire need of unwinding," you state. Whether your plan works or not is now up to your rhetoric.

The tiefling's expression softens. A small, hesitant smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "Perhaps I do," Zevlor answers with reluctance. "But there's still much I should tend to. I can not lie back while so many have entrusted their lives to me. It's too dangerous."

You cross your arms on your chest. "Last night, when you were peacefully sleeping, no calamity has befallen your people. I think they can manage on their own for a few hours."

"We surely can!" yelled a tiefling who was just passing by.

Zevlor steps away from his desk, no longer hanging over things that probably ruin the aforementioned peaceful sleep. The turmoil inside his head is easily visible - part of him wants to stick with the worries that keep him up at night, while the other side of him yearns to lose the anxieties for one afternoon.

The tiefling look away for moment, fiery irises staring off into the distance. Then Zevlor's eyes come back to you but their softness has turned into something sombre. One way or another, there's immense doubt inside the man in front of you.

Zevlor offers you a kind, albeit awkward smile. "Still, a figure of your sort ought to have their company sought out by many more important people. Do not waste your precious time on an old man like me."

But he's going to have to try harder than that to dissuade you:

"Alright, you do have a couple years on me," you give his statement a half-hearted nod, "but that's hardly the most important thing about you, Zevlor. Why, dear Gods below," you dramatically put a hand on your chest, "wouldn't I want to spend my free time with a man whose patience, loyalty and virtue make me want to be a better person?" Your statement elicits a nervous chuckle from Zevlor. He'd be embarrassingly flustered and red in the face if it wasn't for his already fire-like shade of skin, "A man, for whom I began to feel lo-" You hang your voice the moment you realize what word almost left your mouth. Zevlor looks at you with raised eyebrows, disbelief written all over his face. Shame and embarrassment creep up on you as you feel your face heat up. Unable to look the man in the eye anymore, your gaze drops to the floor. "I didn't mean to just drop it on you like that. Can we pretend I didn't say it?"

Then, you feel a warm anxiously brush your cheek. It hangs against your skin for a moment, as though its owner is pondering his next move, before quickly retreating. "I'd rather we don't," Zevlor answers softly.

#zevlor x reader #zevlor x you #zevlor fanfiction #zevlor fanfic #zevlor imagine #bg3 zevlor #zevlor bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #bg3 imagine #bg3 x reader #bg3 x you

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purplenidoqueen · 2 months

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not to mention tme/tma is no fucking gender binary, the groups “transfems” and “non transfems; cis men, cis women, trans men, some nonbinary people, etc” is not a binary at all. if you don’t know what the terms mean or aren’t experienced with transfeminism, that’s fine, but don’t act like i hate men because you misunderstood my feminism.

The reblog that garnered these messages can be found here, and part one is here. Sorry if the tone was too sharp; I'm not super comfy playing defense for those who aren't here to defend themselves, but I'm sure as heck willing to do my best. I'd explained at the end of the post that garnered these responses that I am also a trans woman, but I don't mind that you missed it; I just feel that said experience is something to keep in mind.

Since this was split into two messages I'll have to respond in two parts, so bear with me. While I don't have much of an audience, it's important to me to head this off, so I'd appreciate it if anyone who reads this and agrees with my stances here also walks away with the message of patience and solidarity, and doesn't send messages her way for whatever reason. This isn't a callout and I don't believe in callouts; this is just how the inbox function works.

Anyway! Second:

"If you don't know what the terms mean"… I understand that some find comfort in the terms, but "transmisogyny exempt" and "transmisogyny affected" are years old and have gone through a number of phases. While they were well-intentioned at first, TMA and TME swiftly changed from inclusive terms to exclusive ones, used not only by trans women to exclude others from our struggle, but by others to exclude us from their own struggles. In many ways they are bullshit terms adopted and adapted by terfs and their allies, and when I say they are used to reinforce the gender binary, I mean it. They've been used at length to pit trans men, trans mascs, and AFAB nonbinary folk against us in an attempt to make detransition look more practical.

As for whether TMA/TME has any weight: Do you understand how many cis women have been hurt by transmisogyny? You can find stories about women ranging from Michelle Obama and Lady Gaga to Marie MacGowan, an eighty-six-year-old Irish cis woman with dementia who was assaulted and beaten by a transphobe for over forty minutes straight. Even men and mascs, cis or trans, can be hit by forms of transmisogyny if they don't meet the standards of masculinity to which society holds them! Trans men are routinely mistaken to be trans women and attacked by people who misunderstand the situation because only trans women have the spotlight in this patriarchal society! That's not to mention the complexities of growing up intersex, whether or not their lives were changed without their consent by "corrective" surgeries as infants. The binary of "affected" or "exempt" is too tidy to have much use. Fear-based hatred is too complicated.

Transmisogyny is a form of transphobia, which is at its root a form of homophobia, and we have to understand that segregating each other's experiences into exclusionary groups rather than inclusive ones is incredibly unproductive -- and exactly what the terfs, traditionalists, and other fascists are trying to enforce.

On the subject of transphobia as a whole vs transmisogyny, I was trying not to bring this up, but it's the only way I can think of to boil down my point in a way that matters. This is the post that convinced me to respond, in the hopes of sharing some thoughts and perspective.

Okay. This is important for one main reason: Why do you think it would be bizarre or noteworthy for trans men to react negatively to this tweet? I get the point of it, but it's phrased so poorly. Surely you can understand -- maybe you've experienced for yourself -- the feeling that arises when you try to live your happiest life as your chosen gender, only for terfs and their allies to say "You only feel like a X because you're a failed Y." Where does that stem from? Where does it lead? "Trans women are just men who are super gay." "Trans men are just women trying to climb the patriarchal ladder." It's disgusting! Maybe that's not a perspective that occurred to you in the moment, but that's why queer folk from all corners of the community should communicate our experiences to each other, isn't it? If your feminism includes seeing trans men "react bizarrely" to something you didn't understand, and giving them the squinty eyes instead of asking why, then it can't truly be feminism, because it can't truly be about equality.

This whole TME/TMA thing reminds me of the transmedicalist discourse, or of a decade ago when in some circles you weren't considered trans enough and "made the rest of us look bad" if you couldn't, or didn't care to, pass. Butch transfems, a cornerstone of the culture, used to get run out of social groups for being "fake women". It's all about finding the weakest link and cutting them out, over and over until the solidarity of a cohesive queer community becomes a more manageable series of dogpiles against smaller and smaller fragments of GSR minorities. Fuck that. None of us is worth sacrificing, not ace nor kinky nor enby nor queer.

It's been a long pair of long responses. Sorry for the wait, and for the attention. In any case, to boil my thoughts down in the least productive way possible:

"Individually we are weak like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty faggot!"

#inclusivity #intersectional feminism #transgender #trans pride #transphobia #transmisogyny #tma #tme

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songhunter · 8 months

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trans allegory in mystic fragrance and forbidden rain

aka: the essay no one asked for

Content warnings for: Discussions of homophobia and transphobia, and brief mentions of suicide.

If you guys have any other comments on this topic (especially KnightsPs, I'm an UNDEADP so I'm less familiar with their lore) please comment or rb or drop an ask or anything! I love talking. It's also been a hot minute (3 or 4 years) since I last took an English class so my analysis is a little rusty.

Part 1: UNDEAD's "Monster" and Queerness

Every UNDEAD song (with one exception) has the same premise — the singers are the impure, immoral monsters who are singing to a pure, human audience. There are two genres of UNDEAD song:

“I’m a monster seducing you into the darkness, give into your desires because I know that secretly you want it too” — Immoral World, Savage Love Affair, etc.

“I’m a monster and I’m so badass” — Darkness 4, Nightless World, etc.

Darkness 4 lyrics, translation by Shirayukin on Fandom wiki.

The “monster” in UNDEAD’s music is shorthand for anyone that exists outside of a pure society. By joining the monsters, you become tainted and can't return to society, but that’s the only way you can possibly live as your authentic self. In this way, the "darkness" is a safe space that these monsters have created for themselves.

This is, of course, a reference to Rei and how he feels ostracized from society -- the whole reason why Koga began UNDEAD was as a message to Rei that if Rei felt like a monster, he shouldn't roll over and die, but live with them as an undead. However, the concept of the queer monster is incredibly applicable imo. Historically, lots of villains in horror media were queer-coded as a way of eliciting disgust or a fear response, as a way of making its villain seem strange and, well, queer. (Oh, no! Look at all these horrible people ruining life for the law-abiding families!) The link between queerness and horror has been analyzed to death.

But queer people also love the misunderstood monster who's shunned by "proper" society. The gothic novels that originated the horror genre in the 1800s, like Dracula or the Picture of Dorian Grey, were written by queer authors and/or contained scores of queer themes. Do I need to go into why werewolves, shapeshifters who had to go deep into the woods to hide their wolf form, can be read as queer? Do I need to go into why Frankenstein, someone abandoned by his own creator and shunned by society by the nature of his existence alone (something out of his control), can be read as queer? Do I really need to go into why the modern-day vampire is queer? Vampires? Of course queer people will love these monsters, because they see themselves in the monsters, more so than the victims. (Also, nothing more in line with the queer experience than seeing a monster and going “ngl they're kinda hot actually.”)

In summary: It's very easy to read UNDEAD songs and UNDEAD's conceptualization of the "monster" through a queer lens. The monster is queer, and the monster welcomes you into the darkness and invites you to also give into your desire to live freely.

Immoral World lyrics, translation by Mandy on Fandom wiki.

Also, shout out the love you tried to hide, huh? Show me your truth? Show me your pride?

Dude.

Sidenote: The one exception to this “monster” theme is of course the elephant in the room, Sustain Memories. I think it plays well into UNDEAD’s image — at least in !-era, Rei, Adonis, and Koga have always been the monsters, while Kaoru is the human that joined them (see: their Halloween costumes in !-era). So Kaoru doesn’t sing of monsters, he sings of a human love. There's also something to be said about Kaoru being the one member of UNDEAD who tried so desperately to appear cishet and experience a "normal" love in !-era. But also, it's a wedding song because the anime boys look cute when they sing about weddings.

Part 2: What about Forbidden Rain?

Here's the thing about UNDEAD's other monster songs -- they're always proud of being monsters. They're not ashamed, and they want the audience to join them in their freedom.

Forbidden Rain lyrics, translation by @/snaketaper on Twitter.

On the other hand, the singer in Forbidden Rain sees themselves as a "beast" who can never be forgiven, someone who's slowly poisoning their pure lover. They love them so much that they apparently have to let go of them, for their own sake. It's the first song that actually contains references to genuine love (usually UNDEAD is just horny).

The song remains sort of ambiguous about the nature of the relationship between the singer and the audience. It's clear that the audience does actually care for the singer, since they do reach out a "gentle hand" that the singer can't take. But the singer says, "Let's end this thing that never even began" -- are they even together in the first place? Maybe it never began because they were scared of the "beast." Or maybe it never truly began because the relationship was built on a lie. They sing about a beast inside them that they have to hide, and says that their current self -- the one they show to the audience -- is a fake. And this is something that cannot be forgiven.

It's not hard to read this in the context of queerness. Maybe it's about a gay singer who doesn't want to reveal their feelings and tarnish a platonic relationship. Or maybe it's a trans singer who's wracked with guilt at keeping their identity under wraps and hasn't come out to their heterosexual lover, so they want to break off things before they come out and taint their previous relationship.

In Love & Beast, the "source material" behind Forbidden Rain, Inogari (Adonis' character) is soft-spoken, protective, and kind. He saves the main police character in the very first scene. He's an ambassador and a respected enough member of society that he's part of the Sakurayama (Rei's character) social club. He uses "watashi," which is even more polite than Adonis' "ore." He literally faints at the sight of blood. He's the picture of innocence and goodness and all that society approves of. But in a Jekyll and Hyde-like twist, he ends up secretly being the killer Beast. In the end, the Beast is finally caught when Inogari realizes the truth and chains himself to a wall so he can be caught by the police in an act of sacrifice.

Inogari is the picture of propriety, but he keeps the Beast repressed, and eventually this Beast destroys him. Even if you try your best to act as part of proper society, you'll never really fit in.

Silent Oath lyrics, translation by royalquintet on Fandom wiki.

Another note: Forbidden Rain has a lot of the same themes of self-sacrifice, repression, and pure, romantic love that Knights songs do. Knights, in game, is a much more traditional idol unit than UNDEAD is. Forbidden Rain thus attempts to align itself more closely with the socially acceptable Knights, but it's still an UNDEAD song at its core. The monster is inescapable.

Part 3: Mystic Fragrance and Trans Allegory

This thread by @/pretty5P on twitter (https://x.com/pretty5p/status/1625958198623539200?s=46&t=lm_x5Uw5f8pKXHUoLzYksw) is a really cool analysis on the perfume symbolism in the song and how it relates to Arashi's gender identity (go read it!!), but if you don’t want to give Elon Musk ad revenue, the gist of it is this: Odette is her "masculine" initial impression, the impression others have of her, and the impression that fades most quickly. Odile is her lasting "feminine" self and the true self that remains when the top notes fade away.

Over the course of the song, the singer (Odette/Odile) grows more and more tainted, going from a pure white dress to a multicolored rainbow dress to a pitch black dress. The final perfume note is desire, the desire to live as themselves, the desire to be with the person they love.

Mystic Fragrance lyrics, translation by KYM2020 on Fandom wiki.

While the song does focus on a pure romantic love, just like Knight's songs, the symbolism of wanting to be Odile is far more similar to UNDEAD's monster. The idea of a "hidden desire" lying in wait beneath pure feelings is explored in almost every song, as is the symbolism of a dress that gets tainted by desire:

Savage Love Affair lyrics, translation by Nina on Fandom wiki.

And just like UNDEAD songs, the "tainting" of the pure is never presented as a bad thing. Note the references to the moon in both -- it's only in the dead of night, in a midnight ballroom, that one can "spread their wings" and reveal their true self. The darkness, the space of monsters, is a safe space, and in the light of the truth-seeking moon the singer of Mystic Fragrance says that their audience is beautiful.

In the original Swan Lake ballet, Odette is a beautiful woman who falls in love with Prince Siegfried. She's cursed to transform into a swan in the daytime, a curse that can only be broken if someone who has never sworn their love to anyone swears their love to her (in other words, someone untainted). Unfortunately, the evil sorcerer who cursed her turns his daughter into Odile, the black swan who looks identical to Odette, and Siegfried mistakenly confesses his love to her. Knowing that the curse can never be broken, Odette throws herself into the lake rather than live the rest of her life as a swan, and Siegfried joins her.

Mystic Fragrance isn't tragic, however.

Part 4: Living your truth

The endings of Forbidden Rain and Mystic Fragrance are where they differ. Both of their source endings are tragic — Inogari is unable to control the Beast and shackles himself to a wall, waiting to be arrested. Odette and Siegfried leap into a lake and drown themselves, because the only way they can be together is in death. Forbidden Rain ends with the singer holding their loved one close to them one last time in the rain before they leave.

But Arashi rejects her source material because she chooses to embrace the monster. She becomes Odile. She decides to live her truth, and as the top notes and heart notes fade away, all that lingers is her true self. That's why Mystic Fragrance has a happy ending.

There's a lot of symbolism in the Mystic Fragrance music video with respect to the person who loved Arashi during the war era and who killed themselves. She spreads her arms like the wings of an angel and sings in front of a setpiece that looks like the cenotaph. Her outfit contains anemones, symbols of a lost love and grief (and, coincidentally, the flower that Adonis in greek myth turned into when he died). Her greatest regret was that that person couldn't love themselves the way Arashi now tries to love herself. In this way, Mystic Fragrance is like a message to that person -- live your truth.

#adonis otogari #arashi narukami #enstars undead #enstars knights #adoara #enstars analysis #this one is a doozy #i wrote 90% of this in a sleep deprived haze at 3 am and then filled in the blanks in the morning #anyway if you have any thoughts please tell me!! send an ask or leave a comment or send a message via carrier pigeon #my stuff

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wingedcat13 · 7 months

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Hi there! I read "Call me menace" back when it first came out, and it came across my dash today via a long post of tumblr stories, and I was delighted to find you'd written so much more in that universe. I burned through everything on ao3, it's all amazing!!

But the reason for me sending in this ask is: Call Me Menace was actually kind of the first step in me coming to terms with being genderfluid. I knew I was trans, but I had been trying for a while to force myself into the other binary and questioning my own validity when sometimes the other end of the binary didn't fit. I admittedly had a lot of internalized stuff to deal with but that story was i think the first time I saw gender fluidity as something...strong? I guess? Instead of bending over backwards to try and not be "confusing" to other people, I could just... lean into it, if that makes sense. Being confusing with gender could be empowering, not a social weakness. I feel a bit embarrassed sending this, but your story really was the starting point in a chain of events that lead to me sitting here, a year later, so much happier and intentionally "confusing" and more comfortable in my own skin. I just wanted to send this in since reading through the rest of the synoverse writing made my day and reminded me of where I was a year ago.

Anyways, I hope this doesn't come off as weird lol. Thank you thank you thank you for your awesome writing and I'm super excited to see where things go next! :))

Thank you for reading, and for writing in!!!

Synovus is one of those characters who just kind of… manifested, fully formed. They were never a ‘he’ or ‘she’ or any other specific gender in my mind, but rather fluid between them from the get-go. I did worry, a little, about presenting a non-binary villain, especially since I’ve tried to be clear that Synovus really isn’t a misunderstood hero (though some readers may still interpret them that way).

But the responses I’ve gotten have done away with that fear entirely. Villain or not, Synovus is the protagonist of the story, and that’s resonated with so many more people than I ever expected. Even one person finding themselves a little more comfortable in their skin would make writing the whole thing worth it.

And for what it’s worth, anon - I’m proud of you. And Synovus would be too.

#synoverse #ask box #synovus

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ingravinoveritas · 15 days

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You've probably got a thousand things to say about the latest "The Kiss" info, but I have been thinking about it all morning, especially about the way there seems to be no need to acknowledge it between the two of them. They just went for it, and then they didn't feel the need to talk about it. Idk about everyone else but to me that just feels like to them, this was just a kiss among perhaps many. They knew the song and dance around it already, so there was no need to mark it as different other than it being in characters rather than out of.

But those are just my thoughts. So excited to hear about yours if you have any :3

Hi there! Oh, yes…yes, I do have so many thoughts about Michael talking about the kiss, and The Assembly in general.

Something I'm not sure I've mentioned on here (at least not in a long time) is that five years ago (in June of 2019), I wrote a thread on Twitter about fanfic and why it was so important to me as an autistic woman, as well as the role it played when I began to discover my sexuality. I received a lovely comment from Neil, and on top of that, Michael reposted it from me, which was entirely unexpected but delightful.

So when I first heard about The Assembly, I was anxious, apprehensive, and uncomfortable--mainly because of how the autistic/ND interviewers would potentially be depicted on screen. By the end of the show, however, I was in tears--and for once, in a good way. Michael did not let me down for one single second (which I did not think he would), and I loved how he and everyone else just held space for each other during the group singalong to "Here Comes the Sun."

(The only thing I haven't liked is seeing some of the response on social media that suggests Michael did an extraordinary thing just by talking to autistic/disabled people like we are human beings. It shouldn't be special when he or anyone else does that, but it's depicted that way because it is unfortunately still so rare...)

In terms of Michael talking about the kiss with David, it was of course so lovely to see his expressions and listen to him talk about what it was like. For me it was the fact that he actually didn't say that much that was so revealing. It was perfectly in line with what was reported about what Michael said a month ago, about it being "everything you dream of." With the Assembly, we could now see and hear him talking about it and that same carefulness with which he gave the previous answer--a carefulness borne not out of wanting to hide something, but wanting to keep something about the kiss private. Just for him and David.

I also feel like some folks might have misunderstood what he meant when he said, "We never talk about it," though. I think the unspoken part after that is, "We never talk about it, not because we don't want to, but because we don't need to"...

And I agree with you that it was exactly that--one kiss out of many, something so tried and true that neither David nor Michael had to give it much thought. It also makes me think of previous discussions about comments from David about how, between the sunglasses and the contact lenses for Crowley, he couldn't see shit, yet he only needed one take to find Michael's lips. It's like needing a GPS when you drive someplace new, but then it quickly becomes familiar, and after a while you don't need anyone to tell you how to get there. Because you already know the way home.

Talking about the kiss like this almost gives a feeling of domesticity, of something deeply intimate, beyond the physical. I'm thinking of it as well in tandem with David's comments from prior to the BAFTAs, about it being "another day at work" and saying that Michael had "brushed his teeth." There are so many examples from movies or TV shows where a couple wakes up in bed together in the morning and when one person goes in for a kiss, the other stops them and says "Not until you've brushed your teeth" (or something to that effect). And it just makes me picture them getting up to film that day and sharing a good morning kiss, after which David gently reminds Michael to brush his teeth before he gets to the set. (And he does, because Michael never forgets anything David tells him.)

The last thing that I wanted to mention that stood out to me was Michael talking about how moved everyone was--both the people who watched the kiss be filmed on set, and the fans who watched it in the show. You could actually hear the way his voice caught in his throat, hear him become emotional just from remembering that. And it made me think back to when GO 2 came out last summer, in the midst of the Writers Strike (and then SAG-AFTRA) and how Michael was probably reading all of the fan reactions online and feeling very much the same way, even though he couldn't say anything about it.

So it becomes even more poignant and compelling that now, when he finally can say anything he wants at all about the kiss, he gives us so little. Or maybe just enough, with a small, knowing smile on his face. Because he's found a boy he likes, and he has his photo.

Those are my thoughts on Michael talking about the kiss on The Assembly. I know it's been a week now, but hopefully everyone has had time to process it too, so I'd love to hear what you all think. Thank you for writing in! x

#kenizz #reply post #michael sheenw #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #the assembly #good omens 2 #also that Michael and David don't have to talk about the kiss when they can just kiss each other anytime they like #and that says everything that needs to be said #i think Michael has been telling us exactly who he is for a long time now #David's love is lifting Michael higher than he's ever been lifted before #with thanks and apologies to Jackie Wilson #kissing #ineffable lovers #discourse #gif by me

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 1 year

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Astrology placements combo+ pt 2

This picture is from Pinterest.

Disclaimer: I did a fucking tesis for each one.

Pisces rising + cancer moon combination is the representation of the stereotype of water signs. I’m serious. If the person grew up in an environment that couldn’t benefit them, they could use copy mechanisms that were not very healthy. They need a secure space, that won’t overwhelm them, that’s healthy. Because they are highly emphatics, they feel the energy of the environment, the energy of what their loved present because what they are passing trough. They are sensitive, and that’s not a problem, that’s what makes you human. Growing up, water moons could have been constantly criticized for showing sensitivity; expressions like crying or been affected by situations where they have observed and saw from a different point of view. Cancer moons could have grown up attached to their moms/mother figures. Serving and caring for her deeply. The relationship you have with them is THE relationship of what’s view as a mom-native relationship. Your mom is your home. You saw them as someone SO nurturing and full of love, maternal. You could admire your grandmas, uncles, etc. You needed to be cared. When the mom needed support, they could have not given the space or privacy the kid needed. She could have been clingy. A strong bond. You could have seen her passing some tough emotional moments, and probably you were the only one realizing it. This situations that happened to your mom could affect you in a way you try to escape from reality with those copy mechanism I was referring to. Plus the pisces rising, that’s ruled by Neptune, planet of subconscious mind and delusion. THEY FEEL. And are overwhelmed by the fact that the world is not as idealized -with pink rainbows and colorful butterflies with glitter (sorry🧚‍♀️)- as they thought. And Jupiter, planet of expansion and tolerant. Since this, they have difficulties having boundaries, with differencing reality from their dreams and desires. Also, boundaries with the relationship with themselves and others. They are CONFUSED about how they see themselves, about HOW they are. They have a hard time getting carried away by what others say, by what others tell them who they are. They don’t fucking know. Mostly, because neptune is the planet of delusion, it’s difficult for others people’s eyes to decipher them. So they idealize them, they, without realizing, put a standard on the ruled by neptune person. It’s chaos, because they could feel the need to meet those standards. They are highly emotional intelligent, that’s why, leaving the diplomatic stuff; stop fucking don’t being responsable for your actions, and then blaming others or the situation you’re in, victimizing yourself. Every fucking person is going through something, you’re not the only one. Only bc you FEEL -or show it- doesn’t mean is more valid. The emotions, sensitivity that they didn’t learn to handle + the lack of boundaries between reality and illusions/idealization. That’s it. I have to point it out. It’s too much water. Poor person. I have to ask you: How are you? How have you survived so far? 🤯 Well, I have to tell you, you’re so strong for being been here till now. For feeling misunderstood, trying ways to escape (even if those copy mechanism weren’t healthy, you tried because you couldn’t much, you didn’t know and were so confused), for to be able to breath, for being lost. But I gotta call out something, you’re still here and I’m so proud of you for that. Even if it doesn’t resonate :) You try and that’s good enough. Now it’s time to take advantage of the traits you are blessed with. And to learn how to deal with them, but in a way it won’t hurt you and won’t give you an instant relief, not a relief. A way of living, not surviving. Fuck, I’m being too dramatic again. Eww sorry it gives me CRINGE. But you got your moment cancer 🌝 + pisces ⬆️ Sorry if this doesn’t resonate, I think I introspected too much as a neptune dominant. Tell me in the comments if I exaggerated or something… 🤪

What I was listening while typing this 🎶

Sagittarius venus + 9H stellium (me😟🤪) People with these placements NEED -I’m not joking, bc the way I suffer If I don’t have this- freedom. The key word is exploration. Since sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter in both modern and ancient astrology. Is about growth, to living different experiences by the grace of expanding the knowledge you have till now. To learn, analyzing and observing the experience, the “good and bad” (I put it like that bc I don’t really believe in those terms, it’s too complex to just put it in black and white, good or bad), welcoming what could help you or benefit you in the future -such as values, ways of acting, etc.-, and reflecting why other traits, actions or values don’t function with their mindset/benefit them. Or simply questioning themselves “Why do I think like this?” Their whole life could turn around spirituality, religion -doesn’t mean necessarily that you believe in, but that you question it-, travel to foreign countries, politics, healing, fortune, lucky, optimism and miracles. (9H) This combination is in simple words, being a philosopher. What I meant is that the fever of expanding their knowledge consumes them. They love it, it’s so natural🤪. But sometimes could be hard, questioning too much. This people have a unique point of view, different than the average, could have a strong vision about a certain topic. If you ask them about it, PREPARE for the nerd moment you’re gonna contemplate: they’re going to get excited like a little kid, start explaining, showing you proofs, documentaries. They’re going to do the posible to make you understand and to make you share the same excitement as them. Freedom is on top of their pyramid, is not an exception in their relationships. Sagittarius venus + 9H combo needs someone to go with the flow, to contrast their anxious -most of you wouldn’t agree with me, but they’re ambitious, they want to learn more and more, they’re preoccupied to know, to be themselves, to not feel controlled- nature. They’re honest and sincere. And most important, they set boundaries, what most of the venus signs lack of. Sooner or later, they do. If something between you and them -talking about friendship- doesn’t fit with them they’re gonna tell you, what bothers them, or they’re going to ghost you. When there’s no meaning for them to conserve you in their lives, I don’t know how to explain it. It could sound selfish, but is healthy; being selfish for yourself is okay. Don’t force them, please don’t, they feel overwhelmed; they’re gonna escape. They look to be with someone who is their best friend and at the same time lover, someone that they don’t have to have filter, where they don’t feel cringe. And let them do their crazy stuff, joke around, being sarcastic, someone who understand/accept their jumps of energy or when they need space, because they do. They want a partner who accompanied them in their adventures, who help them grow. Someone that have the same mindset or is open minded; someone who aliment them with their intelligence. They don’t like short talk, superficial. They love depth conversation and with topics that could get them to reflect. They could not like people who seem too comfortable with they’re actual situation, someone who doesn’t seek change. Also, they don’t like when they are clingy, and when they are too delusional or too down to earth. No extremes. These combo get bored REALLY easily, those high standards are for a reason. I know they have a bad fame like “they’re players” blablabla, but when they know you’re the one -or feel it, etc.- they proof you wrong. They are loyal, give you attention, love physical touch or gifts -depends on the degree-, etc. They’re picky, they have high standards for establish in a serious relationship -or you can call it compromise issues🤪-. They know their value. That’s how they are and you can’t do anything about it. They’re free spirits. the fucking cliché phrase they always use to describe them🤮 but yes😍🥰🏃🍃🌬️😋

What I was listening while typing this 🎶

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•This is based on my personal experience and what I have analyzed in my surroundings.

•English is not my first language.

•I am not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

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