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ckret2 · 4 months

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Chapter 51 of human Bill Cipher is once more the Mystery Shack's prisoner: Dipper and Mabel try to figure out what the Axolotl's poem means; Dipper gets the hang of astral projection; and... whatever's going on up there happens.

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Ford and Dipper came back into the shack through the gift shop; Ford didn't want to risk crossing paths with Bill. While Dipper went into the house, Ford went down—returning to the safety of his subterranean study.

Once Ford had put on the old black trench coat he'd worn during his multiversal travels and gotten comfortable at his desk, he pulled out Journal 5 to document the events of the last few days. In a cheap ballpoint pen, he wrote, I've lost my #1 Grunkle pen (and favorite coat) to the waters of Lake Gravity Falls. And then, deciding this didn't adequately express his feelings, he drew a small frown. That coat had served him well for decades, and he'd really liked that pen. It did write excellently, and it had reminded him of his gniece and gnephew.

He spent three pages documenting the eclipse—what happened, what readings he'd taken, what he and Dipper observed—and then another four pages talking about Bill. What he'd told them, why Ford had dismissed it; his claims about a trans-dimensional axolotl distorting gravity with its migration; the statue, the rescue, the breakdown.

The act of writing always helped Ford clarify his thoughts and untangle mysteries; it wasn't until he was writing that he realized the limbs Bill had said he couldn't feel were the ones that had broken off the statue.

He listed the rules of the chess variants he could remember Bill inventing. He drew Bill huddled in front of the board, grim, tear-streaked, exhausted; and then scratched out his face, embarrassed at the thought of immortalizing such a raw moment for his private viewing.

He wrote, There's still a slim possibility that the entire "eclipse," start to finish, was Bill's masterfully-orchestrated scheme to make us pity and trust him; but it's unlikely. Although Bill is fiendish enough, he isn't currently powerful enough, and his lies certainly aren't elaborate enough. If he could pull off such a byzantine ruse, then he could just as easily escape—and if he can escape, why hasn't he? Bill may be insane, but he's never been THAT irrational.

And so, even as twisted as Bill's idea of "friendship" is... for the very first time, I'm convinced that he was telling the truth all along when he said he wants me as his friend. It's not an act. He risked his life to save someone who's an active threat to him.

And at the end of it all—though I'm grateful to be alive in spite of my own stubbornness—do I like him any better for it?

Ford leaned back and shut his eyes, sifting through the inner tumult of anger and old hurt that defined most of his memories of Bill, looking to see if anything had changed.

There was a sore, tender spot in his emotions, a place beginning to rot with remorse; when he prodded at those emotions, he found that it was shame over his own harsh conduct of the last couple of days. But he was only ashamed of how cruelly he'd acted; he wasn't ashamed that Bill was the one he'd done it to.

Outside of that tender spot—regret over his own behavior—nothing else had changed.

No. I still hate him. I'm grateful to be alive, but I hate him. He hasn't undone anything he did to my family and me, and he never will. Forgiveness can't be purchased with favors.

I'm only relieved at the certainty of it. Bill has committed an act that can't possibly be a lie. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he's shown me the truth; and the truth is he'd rather see me alive than dead. Whatever other lies he may tell, I can hold on to that fact.

Bill's miserable eyes peered out at Ford between the scribbles he'd drawn across his face. It was truly a pity that Ford had to hate him. Pity that Bill hadn't been somebody better. He could have been better.

Ford couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed that he'd filled four pages talking about the monster he'd already wasted so many more on. Bill had been right about him: You might hate me to my face, but behind my back you're as obsessed with me as ever. The only thing Bill didn't understand was that hatred and obsession weren't mutually incompatible.

####

"Hey, Dipper," Mabel said, unfolding the living room sofa bed.

"Hey, Mabel," Dipper said, passing through living room on his way to the stairs. He climbed up to the attic.

He came back down from the attic. "Mabel. Why's Bill asleep in your bed."

"He really needed a nap," Mabel said.

"Okay but why on your bed?"

Mabel pouted. "Dipper, do you realize he's never slept on a real bed? Ever?"

Dipper tried to imagine sleeping on a couple couch cushions on the floor every night. "Yeah, okay, that does kinda suck." Even if it was Bill's own fault he wouldn't sleep in the living room.

By unspoken mutual agreement, having a Bill in the bedroom followed the same law as finding a centipede in the bathroom. The law was "that's the centipede's bathroom now." So once the folding bed was set up, they sat on it to serve as their hang-out spot for the evening and caught each other up on what they'd done the last couple of days.

After Dipper & Co. had left, Grenda had come over to take advantage of the low gravity to retrieve the kite that had been stuck in a tree near the Mystery Shack since last summer (it was, tragically, too tattered to salvage), and then they'd gone over to Candy's house to photograph each other performing feats of impossible strength. (Mabel would be sending some pictures to their parents to confuse them, and adding the rest to her summer scrapbook.) She'd spent the next day breaking the trampoline world record until Soos came outside and said gravity was probably too low for it to be safe to be up in the air anymore, if Bill's warnings about being off the ground when gravity hit zero were true; at which point Mabel had hung around inside air-swimming until she suddenly slammed against the ceiling, and then the ground. She was fine. She just had a couple of bruises. She showed Dipper her bruises.

In return, Dipper told Mabel about how their quest had gone: the checks for micro-rips, Bill's increasingly frantic warnings, the lake—

("You got to see a bajillion magical axolotls and I didn't?!")

—the cliff, the Axolotl, Dipper's near-death experience, and what he now knew about his out-of-body dreams.

"Seriously?" Mabel hissed, eyes bugging out. "And he had us looking up lucid dreaming books! What a jerk!"

"I know! He could have just ignored the whole thing, we didn't even think it was anything but dreams."

"And I'd thought he was being so helpful, too! Like he was really trying to make up for giving you 'nightmares'!" Mabel laughed in disbelief and flopped down on the flimsy mattress. "All that because he just didn't want us to know how it was really his fault? Biiill, ugh."

His fault. Dipper hesitated, wondering whether he should tell Mabel what Bill had said about Mabel's Fault; then decided against it. Bill had probably been telling the truth when he'd said he only wanted all the credit for Weirdmageddon.

But—Dipper did tell her about Bill saving their lives. He would have felt like a liar if he hadn't—like he was trying to trick his sister into thinking Bill was worse than he already was. He hoped Ford wouldn't mind; but how could he not tell Mabel?

"He could have just let you die and didn't?" Mabel turned that over in her head, processing this sudden shift in Bill's behavior. "Wow. I'm impressed."

He also told her about their previous encounter with the Axolotl. Considering the other lies Bill had told recently, anything he said about them meeting the Axolotl was dubious at best; but Dipper could remember the Axolotl, so maybe some of it was true, even if Bill had twisted as much as he could. ("The Axolotl said hi, by the way." "Aww. Tell him hi back!" "Yeah, I... don't know how to do that.")

Dipper laid out his journal between them on the folding bed, and Mabel read over the couplet a few times. "'Sixty degrees that come in threes, watches from within birch trees'..."

"It's got to be talking about Bill," Dipper said. "Equilateral triangles have three sixty-degree angles. I just don't know why the Axolotl wanted to talk to us about him."

Mabel frowned at the lines. "I think... I remember meeting him too," she said.

"You do?"

"Kinda. Like in a dream," she said. "We were in some kind of futury space race car. And he had a really comfortable beanbag chair."

"Yes! I remembered the beanbag chair, too!" And he hadn't mentioned it in his journal. "This is great! Talking about it must... must cause us to remember, somehow. Maybe since the universe where we met the Axolotl doesn't exist anymore, our memories of it are... detached or something? Psychically floating around between dimensions until we try to remember them?" He took in Mabel's skeptical frown and shrugged. "I don't know!"

She scrunched up her face. "Ugh. Last summer's first-grader time travel was complicated enough. This is like college-level time travel. Maybe we can ask Bill how it works?"

She said it so easily, like she thought it was actually a good idea. Right after she'd heard about the lucid dreaming thing, too. "I don't think he'd help." Dipper lowered his voice. "He really didn't want Grunkle Ford and me to find out about the Axolotl—and he kept telling me not to think about what the Axolotl told me. He's trying to cover something up."

"Oo-oo-ooh." Voice dropped to a whisper, Mabel said, "Do you think it's some kind of Space Axolotl conspiracy?"

"It could be," Dipper said. "All I know is he was trying to tell us something important about Bill. Some kind of prophecy, or... maybe a warning...?"

He trailed off. Mabel had stopped listening to Dipper. She was rereading the couplet Dipper had written, moving her lips like she was murmuring under her breath—but whatever she was saying, it was much longer than the couplet Dipper had written down. Distractedly, she said, "Do you have a pen?"

"Yeah, here." Dipper quickly handed over the pen he kept in his vest.

Mabel clicked it, went to the bottom of the page, and wrote: A different form, a different time.

Dipper sucked in a sharp breath as the words snapped into place in his mind. "That's it! That was the last line! What else do you remember?"

"That's it," Mabel said. "It was free form poetry with a bunch of rhyme pairs."

"I don't think free form poetry rhymes."

"Pbbbt." Mabel blew a raspberry and shoved Dipper's face. "Whatever! You know what I mean." She pointed at the last line. "Do you think the poem's about why Bill's here? He time traveled to the Mystery Shack in a new body..."

"Exactly! Bill must be back here for a reason. He's got all those powers—or, used to, anyway—and he knows more about the multiverse than anybody on Earth... Maybe there's some kind of big threat coming, and Bill's the only one who can stop it, and—and the Axolotl wanted us to know...?"

"I like the sound of that," Mabel said. "That'd basically make him a hero, right?"

Dipper grimaced. "I mean. I guess? But we're talking about Bill. If he does help us stop a threat, it'd be like if a serial killer picked up a hitchhiker and killed him, and then it turned out the hitchhiker was an even worse serial killer."

"That still sounds kinda heroic to me."

"Pfff, okay." He looked at his journal. "But... what is he here to do?"

Mabel considered what they'd already written. "Maybe we can use him to spy on our enemies through birch trees!"

"Thaaat's probably not it."

"No, I think I'm on to something. I can feel it."

There was a lot of empty space between his couplet and Mabel's line. "There's more we're missing, though. Maybe the rest of the poem describes the threat? Or what we need to get Bill to do?"

"I can't remember anything else, though."

"Me neither."

They stared at the page together, waiting for something to come to their blank minds. Mabel looked at the fish tank. "Hey, Primrose! Do you know anything?"

The pet axolotl in the tank ignored her serenely.

Dipper said, "'Primrose'?"

"Yeah, last summer Grunkle Stan said her name is Freakface, but I thought she deserved a cuter name. She's primrose color!"

"Ford says he originally named him Nikola."

Mabel gasped. "Nikki..."

Dipper twisted around to look at the axolotl. "Do you know anything? Do you... get messages from the Axolotl's heralds, or anything...?"

Nikola slowly opened his mouth, and slowly closed it.

Mabel said, "Hey. The Axolotl's one of those dimension-crossy time-travely guys, right? He probably wouldn't have given us a prophecy in the wrong timeline and then made us forget it unless he knew we'd remember it in time in the rightdimension!"

"I guess," Dipper said uncertainly.

"So we don't need to worry about it! We'll remember it when we need to."

"Unless this timeline's going to branch, and the only one where we survive is the one where we put all our effort into trying to remembering—"

"Shhh!" Mabel put a finger over Dipper's mouth. "Uh-uh. No college time travel. We'll be fine!"

Dipper pushed her over. "Okay, but we should at least try a little to remember what the Axolotl told us."

"What if we work on it separately?" Mabel propped herself up on an elbow. "Instead of just sitting around thinking about it. And whenever we remember a line, we can tell each other and see if it makes anything click."

"That might be faster," Dipper said, stroking his chin. "We're already remembering different lines."

"Yeah! And that lucid dreaming book said something about focusing on a problem before you sleep so you can figure it out in your dreams! We can just work on it in our sleep and we'll remember it all in no time!"

Dipper laughed. "What? No way, I think lucid dreaming is just one of those made up pop psychology things. I didn't get it to work at all." Either it didn't work or Bill had deliberately recommended a terrible book.

"I did! I can remember like... eighty percent more dreams. And I can tell when I'm dreaming a lot more often!"

"Huh." Or, maybe Dipper just wasn't doing it right. "Maybe I need to start over from step one. Do you know where the book we were using went?"

"Over here!" Mabel had set a couple library books on the end table next to the sofa bed; she pulled out the second one, which had a glittery pink bookmark with a cat on it stuck two-thirds of the way through. "Just don't lose my bookmark."

"Thanks." He'd reread the first step before bed. "We should probably be getting ready for bed anyway, huh?"

"Seriously?! It's barely bedtime!" And when the adults weren't watching, official bedtime was an hour and a half before Actual Bedtime.

"I'm exhausted. I just hiked up and down a mountain and faced down death."

Mabel pointed at Nikola. "You faced down a big salamander."

"Close enough."

They went upstairs, brushed their teeth, went to their bedroom...

And stopped in the door. Bill was still asleep. "Oh. Right," Dipper said.

He was curled into a ball on his left side, facing the wall, covered with only the zodiac blanket and his borrowed/stolen top hat sitting on the side of his head. He didn't use a pillow; he'd pushed Mabel's pillows and dolls behind himself to form a squishy makeshift fortress.

"Please don't wake him up," Mabel whispered. (She'd already set up the folding bed for herself; she'd clearly planned on this.) "He's had a really really hard time the last couple of days, and I think he needs as much sleep in a real bed as he can get, and it's just for one night, and I'm sure he'd rather sleep than do anything evil—"

"He said something, didn't he?"

Mabel paused. "Yeah. I think seeing his body really messed him up."

Dipper sighed. "We were trying to keep him away from it." He didn't want Mabel to think they'd forced him to stare his own death in the face. "But he did that... eye thing and looked through the trees, and..."

Mabel nodded.

Well. Dipper couldn't kick him out now. For Mabel's sake.

As children, occasionally when they got hotel rooms with a bed too few, their parents would stick them in one bed with a barrier of pillows in between them. At age thirteen and without two crabby parents trying to get them to just go to bed after a long plane flight, they unanimously vetoed that plan. Dipper decided against asking Stan if he could sleep in Ford's unoccupied bed, both because he suspected Stan would just go upstairs and drag Bill out of the room and because he didn't want Stan to think he was scared of Bill. He wasn't scared of Bill. Not anymore. He could handle one measly night in the same room as him. Anyway, somebody had to make sure he wasn't unsupervised in their bedroom all night, right?

Dipper and Mabel quietly set a floor mirror and old lamp next to Mabel's bed, draped a sheet between them, taped on a pink poster that said "WARNING! TRIANGLE ZONE!" and was covered in stickers of triangular objects, and decided Dipper was adequately shielded. If Bill did get up during the night, he'd probably trip through the sheet and wake half the house before he got anywhere near Dipper.

Dipper went to sleep with a baseball bat in his hands.

####

"Okay," Bill said, hands on his sides, "what am I looking at here?"

The feral band members of Sev'ral Timez turned toward Bill, eyes reflecting in the dim light. They were squatting around Bill's petrified corpse like a pack of apes examining a sleek black monolith.

"Hey girl," Creggy G. said.

"Hey," Bill said. He looked down at himself. His onyx black feet hovered over the ground and the yellow glow from his exoskeleton illuminated the clearing. "Lemme cut to the chase, is this gonna turn into a raunchy dream? My corporeal love life is about as cold and dry as Antarctica, I keep hoping one of my dreams will get a little hotter and wetter—"

"Nah, G," Deep Chris said. "Mr. Bratsman got us fixed."

"Aw."

"We're here to pay you reverence for freeing our minds from the chains of the conventional," Greggy C said, gesturing to Bill's corpse. Leggy P was kneeling and bowing to it and Chubby Z was posing for it. "We want to help free you like you tried to help free humanity."

Bill's eye narrowed. He tapped a finger against the edge of one brick as he considered this offer. Finally, skeptically, he said, "Fine. I'll bite. Why should I think you can help me?"

"Because we can give you the understanding your heart's been missing, girl. You're just like us," Chubby Z said. "A horror never meant to exist, born of a dream to construct the perfect golden idol, forced to dwell within an unnaturally-fabricated human shell."

Bill tilted his head thoughtfully. "I'm with you so far."

"We want you to join us," Deep Chris said. "Cavort with us in the silvan night, G. Shun the harsh light of the spotlight for the healing salve of moonbeams. We'll get drunk on the sweet fermented summer berries, uncaring of how the brambles prick our flesh. We'll dance in a frenzy of ecstasy and only sleep when the morning sun lifts the dew from the flowers and the sweat from our skin. It'll be straight Dionysian, boo."

"We can kiss the hot trees," Creggy G said.

Bill grabbed his shoulder. "Oh, you're the human that keeps making out with birch trees! I knew your face was familiar!" He paused. "So... are there any eligible ones around here?"

"Sure, girl, just downstream."

"If I'd known, I would've polished myself first."

"Say you'll join us, Bill girl," Deep Chris said. The band crowded around Bill to either side, posing around him—the backup dancers for the star singer. "You'd be one of us."

"We're already exactly the same," Creggy G said, holding up a mirror so that it reflected his and Bill's faces beside each other. In Bill's human face were two empty white eyes with pinprick pupils and pale blue irises, exactly the same as the eyes of the Sev'ral Timez boys.

He sat up with a gasp, hands flying to his face. There were still green boughs at the edges of his dreaming vision, blending into the wooden boards of the Mystery Shack's attic. Before sleep had fully fled his mind, he seized up the zodiac blanket draped over his body and stared into his embroidered eye.

The eye stared back at him. Through it, he could see his horrified sleepy face, and his normal slitted yellow eyes. His connection to the blanket's eye disappeared as he finished waking up.

He heaved a sigh of relief and flopped back down. He'd been lucid, but he hadn't been in control of that dream. He still needed practice.

He rolled toward the light of the window, groped around beneath it until he found his journal, grabbed up his crayons, and flipped pages blearily until he found the first blank one. He started writing down his dream, pausing only briefly as he tried to figure out how to translate "Sev'ral Timez" before settling on a sufficiently goofy way to misspell "several times" in Plaintext.

He made it halfway down the page before he stopped. Hold on. This wasn't his beautiful journal. These were not his beautiful crayons. He checked the cover and grimaced in displeasure when he saw a pine tree rather than a hand. Dipper's journal. Bill ripped out the page, ate it, and set the journal and Mabel's crayons back on the table under the bedroom window.

"What was that," Dipper asked, "some kind of Morse code?"

Bill yelped and twisted around. Dipper's soul was hovering above Mabel's headboard, watching over Bill's shoulder.

"Hey! Back, foul ghost!" Bill snatched up Mabel's pillow and swung it at Dipper.

"Ow—Hey! How did you hit me, I'm in the mindscape—"

"I said back!" Bill swung again, chasing Dipper off the bed. "Back into your fleshy tomb!" He climbed off the bed, stumbled into Dipper and Mabel's trap, tripped through the sheet and probably woke up half the house.

He yanked the sheet off and flung the pillow at Dipper by its corner. "Now get back in your body, go to sleep, and leave me alone."

"I don't know how to get back in it. I just wait until it happens by itself," Dipper said, floating irritably over his sleeping body, arms crossed. "Why do you think I just wander around every time I have this dream?" He paused. "Right—it's not a dream, is it."

Bill sighed heavily. "Try putting your body on like..." He almost said like an exoskeleton, remembered his audience, and amended himself: "Like it's clothing. I usually start with the hands. Just like putting on gloves!"

Dipper looked at the cold fingers wrapped tightly around the baseball bat. "How do I put hands on like gloves? There's no opening or—"

"Just try it, would you?" Bill sat tiredly on the edge of Mabel's bed.

Dipper shot him an irritated look, but pressed his ghostly hands against his fleshly ones, passing through the skin until one set of fingers rested inside the other. A fingertip twitched.

Bill gestured with one hand, continue. "Now the sleeves."

"I know how to get dressed." Dipper laid down in his body, forearm into forearm, shoulder into shoulder—until he was wholly back inside. He sat up, awake. "Huh."

"There, see?" Bill said. "And if you want to take it back off, just do the same thing in reverse. Like degloving your body from your soul!"

"Did you have to phrase it like that?" Still, Dipper tried it, peeling out of his body from the fingertips up. He left his body sitting upright as he hovered over it.

Bill chuckled tiredly. "Lookit your face, staring at nothing. Stupid looking."

"Shut up." He slid back into his body, more quickly now that he knew what he was doing.

"Great," Bill said. "Now that you know how to get back in your body, never do that again." He flopped back onto Mabel's bed and rolled over to face the wall. "It's a pain in my base having you wander around all night."

"Then you should've thought of that before you ripped my soul out of my body," Dipper grumbled. "Can you reattach me to my body?"

"Sure, easy." He lifted a hand to point down at his regrettably human form. "Not like this, though. Wanna help reattach me to my body?"

"Never in a million years."

"Then come back in a million years. There's nothing I can do for you until then." Bill dragged Mabel's zodiac blanket back over himself. "So sorry. Go to sleep. Leave me alone."

Dipper bet Bill could do it and was only saying he couldn't to try to trick Dipper into helping him. But he lay back down—clutching his bat again—and shut his eyes.

After a moment, Bill asked, "Where's Mabel? Sleepover?"

"Sofa bed in the living room."

"Right."

And then there was silence.

Several minutes passed. Dipper nearly fell back asleep. He heard Bill climbing out of bed and creeping across the room; but the footsteps didn't approach Dipper's bed, so he didn't open his eyes.

A few minutes after that, Dipper heard him come back, walking more heavily. He cracked open an eye to see what Bill was up to.

He was carrying Mabel, who was still asleep; his arms were trembling from her weight, but even at that Dipper hadn't known Bill was that strong. With a quiet grunt, he set her on her bed, then haphazardly tossed her sheet and zodiac blanket over her. He picked up his top hat from the bed and put it on; and then he wandered off, footsteps quiet as a ghost, and Dipper heard the creak of the door as he left the bedroom.

That was a lot nicer than Dipper had expected from Bill. Maybe he did care about Mabel in his own way.

Mabel rolled over and latched on to one of her dolls. Dipper shut his eye and fell back asleep.

####

(My favorite part of writing this was Bill dreaming about Sev'ral Timez saying the most absurdly flowery things imaginable. Anyway, let me know what y'all think about this week's chapter! And reminder that I MIGHT skip next week or the week after because the next couple chapters need heavier editing than usual.)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #sev'ral timez #(a tag i have never used before and will probably never use again.)#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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kinascum · 2 months

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TAG! pt2 - C. STURNIOLO

SUMMARY. A little taste of the other side can't be bad for your system, right?

CONTENT. smut, degrading, oral m, f recieving, getting caught, mocking, over all mean!chris. this is kinda bad...

WC. 1.8k

pt1 (matt)

You lay in bed, the sheets tangled around your legs, the aftermath of the thrilling night air still clinging to your skin. The moon's glow has long since been swallowed by the early dawn, leaving the cabin bathed in a soft, blue light. The smell of pine and lake water lingers in your nostrils, a reminder of the game that had led to something so much more intense. Your thoughts drift back to Matt's strong arms, his hot breath on your neck, the way he'd claimed you so fiercely in the woods.

As the first light of day peeks through the cabin's windows, you hear the clatter of pans in the kitchen. You sit up, the events of the night replaying in your mind, your cheeks flushing with a mix of excitement and dread. You know the others are up, but you can't bring yourself to face them yet. You wonder if they heard anything, if they suspect what happened between you and Matt. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the day ahead.

Slowly, you slip out of bed and tiptoe to the bathroom, the floor cold against your bare feet. You splash water on your face, trying to wash away the evidence of your desire. The taste of him is still on your lips, a secret you're desperate to keep hidden. You glance in the mirror and see the marks on your neck, a map of passion left by his fingers. A shiver runs down your spine.

You slip into a t-shirt and shorts, trying to ignore the way your body reacts to the memory of his touch. You take another deep breath and head towards the kitchen, ready to face the day. As you enter, you're met with the sight of Nate, Nick, and Chris, all busy cooking up breakfast. They look over, greeting you with sleepy smiles and nods. You force a casual grin, hoping it hides the tumult of emotions roiling inside you.

Chris's eyes linger on you a moment longer than the others, a knowing glint in his gaze. Your heart skips a beat. Did he hear something? Did he see something? The silence stretches out, filled only with the sizzle of bacon and the crackle of the fireplace. You grab a plate, trying to act normal, but the weight of his stare is unbearable.

"Morning," you murmur, reaching for a slice of toast.

"You're up early," he says, his voice deceptively casual. "Couldn't sleep?"

You swallow hard, feeling his eyes on you like a brand. "Just had a bit of a restless night," you reply, hoping the blush on your cheeks isn't too noticeable.

He chuckles, a sound that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Must have been something in the air."

The tension in the room is palpable, thick as the smell of coffee. You sit down at the table, trying to ignore the knot in your stomach. The banter and jokes of the morning feel forced, the usual camaraderie tainted by the secret you share with Matt. You can't help but wonder if the dynamic of this trip has shifted permanently.

When Nate, Matt and Nick announce plans to go fishing, you're both relieved and nervous. It's just you and chris in the cabin. You watch them leave, their laughter fading into the distance, leaving you with Chris and his unspoken accusation. The kitchen feels smaller, the air heavier. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, feeling his eyes on you.

He turns from the stove, the spatula in his hand, and crosses the room to stand in front of you. "So," he says, his voice low and dangerous, "you couldn't keep your hands to yourself, huh?"

Your stomach plummets. He knows. You look up at him, trying to read his expression, but his face is a mask of anger and something else—desire. "What are you talking about?" you ask, your voice shaking slightly.

He takes a step closer, the heat of his body almost tangible. "You know what I'm talking about," he says, his eyes dark. "You and my brother in the woods."

You open your mouth to protest, but the words die in your throat. He's seen it all. The way Matt had used you, the way you'd let him, the way you'd loved it. Chris's gaze is like a predator's, hungry and unforgiving. You know you're in trouble, but the way your body responds tells you that you might not mind as much as you should.

"I-I didn't mean for it to happen," you stutter, your voice barely a whisper.

He laughs, a cold, harsh sound that sends a shiver down your spine. "You're funny," he says, his voice dripping with contempt. "Or maybe just a little whore who can't keep your legs closed."

You flinch at the words, the sting of his accusation piercing your soul. But deep down, you know there's a part of you that craves this, that wants to be degraded and used by these men. You feel your pussy throb, betraying your thoughts.

Chris reaches out, his hand wrapping around your neck, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. "You liked it, didn't you?" he asks, his voice a menacing whisper. "You liked being Matt's little plaything."

You nod, unable to find the words to deny it. The fear and excitement mingle inside you, creating a cocktail of emotions that make your head spin. His grip tightens, and you find yourself leaning into it, your breath coming in shallow pants.

"Good," he says, his voice dark. "Because now, it's my turn."

He pushes himself down to his knees, his eyes never leaving yours. You can see the challenge in them, the dare. He's going to show you just how much of a slut you really are. You know you should be scared, should be fighting him, but instead, you're eager to see what he'll do next.

He pulls your shorts down, exposing your damp panties, you whine. "So eager," he murmurs, his voice thick with lust. "Look at you, begging for it."

He shoves your leg over his shoulder and pushes your panties aside as dives in, his tongue lapping at your clit. You moan, the sensation overwhelming, his words echoing in your mind. You do want this.

He eats you out with a ferocity that matches his words, his tongue and teeth playing with your sensitive flesh. You squirm under his touch, the pleasure building rapidly. He's not gentle, his teeth grazing your clit, his fingers digging into your thighs. But you don't want gentle. You want him to consume you, to make you feel like the dirty little whore he's painted you to be.

You whimper, your eyes rolling back in your head as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. And just as you're about to fall over, he stops. You look up at him, panting, desperate for release.

"Not yet," he says, a cruel smile playing on his lips. "We're just getting started."

You watch as he stands, the lust in his eyes unmistakable. He's in control now, and you can't help but feel a thrill at his dominance. He grabs your hand and pulls you to your feet, leading you to the couch. He sits down and pulls you onto his lap, your ass nestled against his crotch. You can feel his hardness through his shorts, pressing against you, a constant reminder of what he wants.

He shoves your face into his neck, his hand squeezing your breast through your shirt and pushing your hips onto him. "You're going to cum for me," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. "And when you do, you're going to scream my name."

You nod, your breath coming in ragged gasps. You're so close, so close to the edge, and he's the one holding you there. His hand slides down to your pussy, his fingers finding your clit, playing with it mercilessly. He knows just how to touch you, just how to keep you on that knife's edge.

And then he's gone, his hand leaving you aching and needy. "Take off your shirt," he commands, his voice low and firm.

You do as you're told, the fabric sliding off your shoulders to reveal your naked chest. His eyes rake over you, and you feel a flush of heat. You're exposed, vulnerable, and it only makes you wetter. He leans in, his mouth closing over your nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh. You arch your back, your hips grinding against his cock.

He chuckles, a dark sound that sends a thrill through you. "Eager little slut," he says, his voice muffled against your skin. He pulls away, leaving your nipple wet and sensitive. "Now, let's see how much of a whore you really are."

He pushes you down onto the couch, your legs spread wide. He dives back in, his tongue flicking against your clit, his teeth scraping your inner thighs. You can't help but moan, the pleasure so intense it's almost painful. He's relentless, his mouth working you over until you're nothing but a writhing mess beneath him.

And then, just as you're about to climax, he stops again. You whine, your body begging for more. "What's the magic word?" he asks, his voice taunting.

"Please, chris" you gasp, your voice desperate.

He grins, a wicked look that sends a shiver down your spine. "Good girl," he says, and then he's back, his mouth on you, his tongue and teeth and lips working in tandem to drive you wild. You can't hold back anymore, your body bucking as you scream his name, your orgasm crashing over you like a wave.

Chris doesn't let up, even as you beg for mercy. He eats you out like you're his favorite meal, like he's starving and you're the only thing that can fill him up. Your pussy is soaking wet, his mouth working relentlessly, his tongue flicking and teasing, his teeth grazing. You're so sensitive now, every touch feels like it could send you over the edge again.

"You're mine, yeah?" he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. "Mine to use, mine to fuck, whenever I want." The words are a dark promise, one that sends a thrill through you even as you squirm under his touch. You know he's not playing around, that he means every word.

And yet, as he stands, his pants tented with his erection, you find yourself looking up at him with a mix of fear and excitement. You know what's coming next, and you can't help but want it. He strips off his shorts, his cock springing free, thick and hard. "Open your mouth," he commands, and you do, eager to taste him, to be used by him the way you were by Matt.

He takes your face in his hands, his grip firm as he guides his cock into your mouth. He's not gentle, pushing in deep, filling you up until you gag. You can feel his muscles tense, the power of his body as he uses you, as he takes what he wants. It's intoxicating, the way he's claiming you, making you his.

His hand is in your hair, pulling you closer, controlling every movement. You're just a toy to him, a means to an end, and you love it. You love the way he's using you, the way he's degrading you. You suck harder, your eyes watering, your throat aching, but you don't stop. You want to please him, to make him cum, to show him just how much of a slut you really are.

You feel the tension in his body build, his breath coming in harsh pants. "That's it," he groans, his hips thrusting. "Take it all, baby." And then he's coming, his hot seed filling your mouth, down your throat. You swallow, eager to taste him, to show him you're his.

But just as he pulls out, you hear the door creak open. You freeze, your eyes snapping to the entrance. There, in the doorway, stands Matt, his eyes wide with shock. The room goes still, the only sound the crackling of the fireplace.

You're caught, a whore on her knees with Her best friend's brother's cum on her face. The look in Matt's eyes is unreadable, a mix of anger, lust, and something else—possessiveness? You don't have time to think, to react, because Chris is already packing up, tucking himself back into his pants with a smug smile.

"Well, look who's back, baby" he says, his voice cold. Matt doesn't answer, his gaze locked on you. You scramble to your feet, your heart racing.

You start to pull your shorts up, trying to cover yourself, but Matt grabs your wrist, his grip like steel. "What do you think you're doing?" he asks, his voice a dark whisper. "You're not done yet."

taglist! @sturnstvr @gxldenlush @immattsslut @slut4chriss @stasiesturn @jetaimevous @solarsturniolo @watercolorskyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @meowira @secretagentspy @shadowthesim @mattybsgroupie @baileysturns

love, paz

#paxi talks #paxi's stuff #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader

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itsswritten · 6 months

Text

gone.

Pairing: Azriel x fem reader

Word Count: 2K (It's just a little drabble really)

Warnings: Angst, feelings of not being good enough, unrequited love, rejection, read Az's bonus chapter as this is kind of a different ending to it!

Summary: Sometimes it take's heartbreak to move on.

You’re not too sure how you found yourself here. Ensnared in a moment you shouldn’t have been a part of. Pressed against the wall, you couldn't escape the damning truth unfolding before you.

Fate, in its cruel irony, had thrust you into the heart of your deepest fear. It seemed as though destiny itself was spelling out the bitter reality—you would never be his, he would never desire you.

The gift box, wrapped in a serene shade of blue, felt like an anchor against your chest, the weight of it crushing against your heart and yet anchoring you to this spot all the same. With trembling hands, you clutched it tightly, your other hand clasped around your mouth in an attempt to contain the tumult of emotions threatening to spill over. You hadn't intended to intrude, only to find Azriel this Solstice and share your heart with him. After years of wrestling with your feelings, you had finally summoned the courage to confess to your best friend, hoping that maybe he might reciprocate.

But it was a futile dream. How foolish you had been to imagine that you would be the one to replace his infatuation with Mor.

No of course it wouldn’t be you, for hundreds of years you hadn’t been able to steer him from his longing of Mor. It had to be another, the lovely Elain Archeron.

The scent of their arousal hung heavy in the air. You should have moved, but you were frozen in place. Your eyes glued on their figures as you watched them draw one another close. It was as if the Gods were forcing you to accept your reality– you would never be good enough for him.

You swallowed hard, stopping the nauseating sensation rising up your throat. You were losing all control here, completely succumbing to your emotions. You weren’t sure what you would do if you actually saw them kiss.

At the top of the stairs, Rhys suddenly stood, his fury palpable as he observed the scene below. A silent exchange passed between him and his brother, you had known Rhys and Azriel for so long that you were always aware of their mind conversations. However, you never knew what was said. But by Azriels indifference, you could tell it wasn’t good.

Before Rhys winnowed away, his gaze found you. Your figure hidden in the shadows, his expression faltering as his eyes locked with yours, confusion spread across his features and then pain– pain for you.

You hadn’t realised till then, how your salty tears had slipped down your face. Wetting the floor beneath you. How they had revealed how you truly felt, something you thought you’d always kept so well hidden.

And perhaps here in your weakest moment, your own mental shields hadn’t been the strongest. Your anguish spilling over to whoever was able to feel.

With a fierce swipe, you brushed the tears away.

You watched as Azriel left to find Rhys, leaving a bewildered and confused Elain to collect herself before she ran out of the foyer. It was then the emotions overcame you.

You sank down against the wall, the tears flowing freely now, your quiet sobs echoing through the empty corridor. You had been so foolish.

You had seen the signs, noticed the bond growing between Azriel and the middle Archeron sister. Yet, you had dismissed it as nothing more than Azriel's innate kindness, his dedication to helping Elain adjust to Fae life like the rest of you had also supported. It never occurred to you that his actions held some deeper meaning.

And Rhys's fleeting glance had only added to your humiliation. To how stupid you had been. You didn't need his pity or anyone else's.

You already hated yourself enough for your naivety and foolishness.

The gift box lay abandoned beside you, a painful reminder of your misplaced affection. With trembling hands, you tore off the ribbon and unwrapped it, revealing the carefully chosen present inside. It was a handmade sheath for Azriel’s dagger, Truth Teller. Beautifully made from leather, with six subtle stones set along the top.

Purple, for Rhys. Red for Cassian. Blue for Azriel. Followed by Violet for Amren, Crimson for Mor and Sapphire for you. The original six. His first found-family.

As you traced the stones with trembling fingers, memories of simpler times flooded your mind. The dynamic of your found family had shifted with the arrival of the Archeron sisters, whom you loved dearly. But their presence had irrevocably altered the delicate balance you had once cherished with Azriel and the others. You hadn’t realised how their entry into your life would change so much.

Maybe it was your fault for thinking it wouldn’t.

~~~

Azriel snarled softly.

"Snarl all you want." Rhys leaned back in his chair. "But if I see you panting after her again, I'll make you regret it."

Rhys had rarely threatened punishment or pulled rank. It stunned Azriel enough that it knocked him from his rage.

Rhys jerked his chin toward the door. "Get out. And while you’re at it you owe y/n an apology for making her privy to your foolish actions tonight."

Azriel faltered a second. You had seen him? He hadn’t even noticed, his shadows had always vanished when in the company of Elain and they hadn’t notified him of your presence. In fact they rarely ever did. You were the one person who his shadows had always seemed to favour.

Fuck.

You had witnessed his reckless behaviour. It was a jarring revelation. You were one of his longest standing friends. There was no doubt in his mind you would be just as livid as Rhys for his actions.

Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house, searching for you.

Finding you in the library, Azriel approached you with a gentle call of your name, his voice filled with remorse. Your back was to him, and he watched you shudder slightly at the vibrations of his voice.

“I’m sorry you were witness to my actions earlier, I’m sure you have-”

“Forget it.”

Azriel was taken aback by your brazenness, the tone in your voice was something he’d never been on the receiving end of before. You moved swiftly in front of him, your back still to him as you placed your book back on the shelf.

“Right.”

Azriel struggled to understand your motives. Were you pretending not to have seen anything to spare his embarrassment, or had Rhys instructed you to keep silent?

“Well I am truly sorry.” He spoke again.

“Why do you keep apologising to me?” your voice wavered for a moment.

“Because you’re my friend, and I’ve implicated you-”

“Friend. Right, of course.” You clung to that word bitterly, you couldn’t help yourself. You had spat it back so venomously.

Azriel always knew you better than anyone, could tell when something was off and there was clearly something wrong. He stepped forward, touching your wrist to get you to turn at him.

And then he saw.

He saw the pained expression. Tear stained face and red puffy eyes. In all his years of knowing you, he had never seen this look– a look so broken.

Who had hurt you?

“Y/n, what’s wrong?”

You scoffed, pulling your wrist away from his grasp. Despite the hurt simmering within you, a newfound confidence surged through you. After mustering the courage to confess your feelings to Azriel, only to be met with rejection by his actions, you felt a liberating sense of release– you had nothing left to lose.

And quite frankly you just didn’t care anymore.

"It's you," you spat, your words dripping with bitterness as you locked eyes with Azriel, the pain evident in your glassy gaze. "It is you who has caused this."

Azriel's confusion was palpable, his brows furrowed as he struggled to comprehend how he could have hurt you so deeply. He felt his shadows coil around him protectively, but they remained silent, offering no explanation for his transgressions. Whether they didn’t know or they refused to tell him.

Your lips quivered slightly as you drew in a sharp breath, your fists clenching at your sides.. "It's my fault, really," you admitted, your voice tinged with self-blame. "For being so foolish, for ever thinking I–... That I would be good enough."

Azriel’s expression bore confusion, but seeing your pain was breaking something inside of him. He tried to reach for you again, wanting to soothe you but you stepped away from him.

Something started to gnaw on him then, deep in his chest.

"I know I could never compete with Mor, so I never even tried," you continued, your voice trembling with raw emotion. "I hoped maybe with time you’d realise that was never meant to be. Maybe eventually consider me instead…”

You had said it. Admitted your truth. Azriel’s eyes widened in shock. Your confession hung in the air, the weight of your words hitting Azriel like a punch to the gut. For a Spymaster, he had failed miserably at deciphering your true feelings. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a word, you pressed on, your voice thick with unshed tears.

"And I noticed how you didn’t look at her the same way anymore," you choked out, struggling to maintain composure. "I thought maybe it was because we’d gotten closer. I was so foolish, I realise that now. It wasn’t because of me."

"Wait, Y/n," Azriel interjected, his voice laced with urgency as he stepped forward, his hands gripping your arms firmly.

Azriel's heart sank as your words pierced through him, revealing a truth he had been too blind to see. He had never known, never even considered, because in his eyes, you were one of the most precious people in his life – too precious for him to ever believe he was worthy of.

Your voice quivered with emotion, and Azriel's chest tightened with guilt as he realised the depth of your pain. "I know I'm not as lovely as Elain," you whispered, your words like a dagger to his heart.

"Don't say things like that," Azriel pleaded, his voice thick with emotion. "You are so incredible—"

But you cut him off, your words slicing through the air with a finality that left Azriel reeling. You refused to hear anything else from his lips. Those lips that had been so close to kissing Elain.

He watched helplessly as you moved out of his grasp, your every movement causing that feeling in his chest to grow. You picked something up from the table behind you, turning to face Azriel once more. Somehow forcing a soft sad smile across your lips.

Azriel's throat tightened, his breath catching in his chest as he gazed at you. In that moment, you seemed more fragile than ever, your vulnerability laid bare before him. He had always considered you beautiful, too beautiful for him, too kind, too good. And now, as he stood face to face with the pain he had unknowingly caused you, his heart ached with regret.

"I've held onto these feelings for so long, hoping one day you might feel the same way," you confessed, your voice heavy. "But I think tonight was the Gods' way of telling me it’s time to let go."

Azriel's hands trembled as you pushed the gift box into his palms, "Happy Solstice.” You whispered with a bittersweetness that tore Azriel’s soul. Your words, they felt so final. They felt like a goodbye.

With a shaky breath, Azriel glanced down at the box, opening, his fingers began to trace the intricate design of the sheath adorned with gems that he instantly recognised as symbols of him and his family. But when he looked up again, ready to speak your name in a desperate plea, he found only emptiness.

Finally, his shadows spoke.

Gone.

Next Part >> (by popular demand I have continued this, mwah)

a/n: This little drabble came to me last night, I wanted to inflict a little hurt. You are very welcome <3 - Lottie x

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel x you #acotar azriel #acotar fanfiction #angst #acotar series #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel imagine #azriel angst #azriel x y/n #azriel acotar #azriel fanfiction #azriel series #azriel fic rec #azriel

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aligned-starz · 4 months

Text

Mixtape - Mattheo Riddle

. * ꙳ ✦ ⊹Pairing : mattheo riddle x fem!reader

Warnings : fluff, use of y/n y/l/n, happy ending

Summary : who knew mattheo could be so patient?

Song : Somethin' Stupid - Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra. * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

Mattheo Riddle's reputation preceded him: notorious for his quick temper and razor-thin patience. His tolerance for delays could be measured in mere molecules. For most, the prospect of having Mr. Riddle wait on them was akin to receiving a rare blessing or witnessing a miracle. Yet for Y/n, it was just another day in the life.

However, if you were bold enough to confront him about it, he would vehemently deny it, insisting that he never waits on anyone.

"What do you mean you don't wait on anyone, mate? Y/n's got you waiting like a dog on a leash," Blaise quipped, earning chuckles around the Slytherin table. Mattheo shot his friends a glare, a familiar grumpy expression settling upon his face at their teasing. It wasn't anything new.

"Aww, look at the state of you, you big softy!" Pansy's laughter and jest seemed to aggravate him further, evident in the forceful grip on his fork, which tightened by the minute. Theodore observed his friend, noticing something amiss. Mattheo would typically retort with a snarky response, but now he seemed so lost in thought.

Noticing his unusual change in demeanor, the group silently decided to shift the topic, directing their attention to Berkshire, who had become the target of their ridicule.

Lorenzo had recently found himself in an embarrassing altercation with the revered potions master. It marked one of the worst instances of public humiliation he had ever endured. Picture this: he was already five minutes late, had brought the wrong set of books, stumbled over his words while responding to Snape, AND managed to blow up his and his potions partner's cauldron.

Naturally, this series of blunders led to a sassy and cold scolding from Snape. To say that Lorenzo was left blushing scarlet by the end of class would be an understatement.

"Hi Matt!"

Clang! The loud sound of the fork hitting the cool stone floors of the grand hall echoed through the room, accompanied by Mattheo's accidental knee bump in surprise, drawing everyone's attention at the table. If that fork could talk, it would likely express gratitude for your sudden appearance, saving it from the clutches of Riddle's vice-like grip. As Mattheo turned toward you, the frostiness in his gaze thawed, replaced by a gentle warmth in his brown eyes.

Just a moment ago he was lost in his thoughts about you. Did he think of you so much to the point he had conjured you up in front of him? Where the hell did you come from?

Nott smirked at the interaction, Merlin's beard, this guy is whipped.

"You seemed to have dropped your fork, here." you remarked, catching his attention once again. His eyes followed your movements as you gracefully crouched down to retrieve the utensil from the floor. Standing back up, he met your gaze through his long, soft eyelashes while you held out the fork for him to reclaim. And in a trance-like state, he slowly reached out and took it.

Your hands touched. In that moment, a foolish part of him yearned for more, to pull you close and envelop you in the warmth of a hug, to allow himself to be vulnerable for once.

The soft snickering of his friends broke him out of his trance, and with a quick motion, he turned away from you.

"Thanks." His response was brief, but it brought a smile to your lips.

Despite the sudden change, he had subtly shifted along the bench, creating space beside him. It felt like a silent invitation for you to join him. So, without a word, you took your place and set down your plate, inadvertently brushing the back of your hand against his. Perhaps it was unintentional.

Mattheo froze once more, wrestling with his impulses. It took considerable effort to restrain himself, but there was something about you that stirred a tumult of emotions within him. Something that tempted him to lean in and shower your face with kisses. It was beginning to unsettle him.

He withdrew his hand and discreetly tucked it under the table, his gaze fixed downward, brows furrowed in frustration at the escalating intensity of his emotions. His friends looked at one another knowingly, before they continued to chatter about other topics.

As you settled beside him, he couldn't help but notice the subtle fragrance of your perfume, a scent he seemed to encounter every time you were in close proximity. It carried notes of vanilla, with a delicate hint of cherries. The aroma enveloped him, not in a way that hurt his nose, but in a way that stirred a dizzying sensation within him. His heart quickened its pace, and a tightness settled in his chest, each breath seeming to draw in more of your intoxicating essence.

Like smoking a blunt, but knowing it’s good for you.

You joined the chatter, contributing your opinion to whatever topic the group was discussing, he turned his head in your direction. His gaze traced every curve and detail of your face as you spoke. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you laughed in response to something Pansy had remarked, and he felt his own lips instinctively mirror the gesture.

He was going to say something, a witty remark or anything to get you to smile even further. But somehow he couldn’t find his words, his attention consumed by your captivating presence as he struggled to form a coherent sentence. Every gesture, every word you uttered seemed to mesmerize him. You’ve made THE Mattheo Riddle, speechless.

Suddenly, Cedric Diggory approached, clad in his yellow and black robes. Mattheo felt a pang of discomfort stir within him as he watched your attention shift to the newcomer, your smile widening in greeting. He clenched his jaw, his gaze flickering between the two of you, a knot forming in his stomach.

“Y/n, would you like to continue our herbology project? We could get started early.”

His statement abruptly halted the lively conversation around the table. The group exchanged puzzled glances with one another before collectively turning their attention to Riddle. The air grew tense as the weight of his words settled over them, leaving everyone momentarily speechless. Except you, who smiled and chatted with the boy.

A profound sense of jealousy surged within Mattheo, causing his smile to form into a narrow line. You were too nice and oblivious to even notice the abrupt hush that fell over the group.

It wasn't that they disliked Diggory—far from it. It’s just that the group was well aware of Mattheo's possessive tendencies, especially when it came to the girl Cedric was currently chatting with. Their concern wasn't about Diggory himself, but rather the potential for Mattheo's jealousy to stir up trouble.

They all watched the boy closely, anticipating a cutting, sarcastic remark to shatter the silence. But it never came. Instead, he merely averted his gaze, displaying an unusual patience. As you stood up to resume your herbology project and leave, he offered you a gentle smile, a stark contrast to the tension everyone else felt.

The silence deepened after you left, each person at the table coming to their own realization. He didn't just like you. It became evident to all of them that Mattheo was deeply in love with you, so much so that his usual bad behavior seemed to dissolve in your presence. His rough edges softened, revealing a side of him they had rarely seen. It was incredibly uncharacteristic of him, unsettling his platinum blond friend.

"Gods, so it's true then, you love Y/l/n." Draco scoffed and broke the silence, his voice a mix of bewilderment and surprise. Pansy quickly turned and swatted the back of his head, offering Mattheo an apologetic look. Mattheo appeared to be on the verge of exploding, his emotions barely contained as Draco's words hung in the air.

"Oh, fuck off, you ferret," he retorted, his voice laced with irritation. His words were sharp, cutting through the tension as he struggled to keep his temper in check once you were gone.

Malfoy's eyes widened as he coughed, his face flushing a deep red in response to Mattheo's remark. It was clear that the notorious "ferret" incident was something they would never let him live down. The group burst into laughter at the joke, everyone except Mattheo. He remained silent, still grappling with the complex emotions he felt towards you, unable to join in their mirth.

"And so he returns. Y/n leaves for a moment, and the devil horns sprout back," Blaise remarked, his words drawing Mattheo's attention. Mattheo's brows knitted in confusion—what did Y/n have to do with any of this?

"What are you all implying?" He gently shook his head, scanning the faces around the table. Each one met his gaze with a sly smirk, leaving him increasingly puzzled by their shared secret.

"You've got it bad for her, Mattheo. It's painfully obvious," Pansy declared, her words echoing the unspoken sentiments of the group. All eyes turned to Mattheo, anticipation hanging in the air, as if they were silently urging him to acknowledge what they all saw. Perhaps hearing it from someone else would finally make him realize the meaning of what he had felt.

“I like her?”

FLASHBACKS. * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

After a few hours at The Three Broomsticks, the group collectively decided to walk home because of the growing crowd at the pub. In the midst of Hogsmeade’s bustling streets, Mattheo trudged along with his friends, their laughter filling the air. Yet, despite the light atmosphere, Mattheo felt the weight of a particularly bad day settling upon him, rendering him silent.

He’s had a day full of disasters. From sticky butterbeer being spilled onto his sweater, to losing his favorite mixtape. The night sky filled with stars seemed to look upon him with pity, so much so that a sudden downpour of rain drenched the group. They shrieked and laughed as they ran away, leaving behind a Mattheo Riddle who also wanted to run, but noticed the untied state of his shoelaces.

Mattheo quickly bent down to tie his shoelaces with a loud sigh. Raindrops pelted his back, adding to his already dampened mood. While his tipsy friends were away from his sight, Mattheo's thoughts lingered on the frustrations of the day, his mind clouded with a sense of fatigue and discontent.

He observed the droplets as they splashed around him, forming a small puddle beneath his scuffed Converse shoes. Without so much as a glance at his reflection in the water, he stoically continued to tie his shoelaces, his expression unreadable. As he moved to tie his other untied shoe, a sudden shadow eclipsed his vision, drawing his attention away from the task at hand.

With furrowed brows, he lifted his gaze, a blend of surprise and confusion crossing his features. However, his expression swiftly transformed into one of astonishment as he registered whose presence it was. There you were, holding your leather jacket aloft to shield Mattheo from the relentless rain. Stunned by your unexpected act of kindness, he found himself momentarily frozen in place.

“Well come on, hurry up!”

Mattheo found solace from the Slytherin party amidst the rows of books, his headphones nestled snugly over his ears. Lost in the melody of his music, he was oblivious to the world around him, the rhythmic sounds escaping from his headphones and gently permeating the tranquil atmosphere.

Beside him, you sat down to accompany him. The library was completely silent, everyone else was probably at the party your friends had thrown, rendering the place empty. However, the muffled strains of Mattheo's music began to seep through his headphones, dancing faintly in the air.

You listened quietly as Mattheo sat with his eyes closed, completely engrossed in the soft melody emanating from his headphones. A gentle smile graced your lips as you watched his relaxed demeanor, his lips slightly parted while his chest rose up and down, the soothing music seemingly transporting him to a quiet state of mind. With his wounded nose, and bruised knuckles, who would’ve guessed he was listening to this kind of music.

You tilted your head, you didn't recognise this kind of music at all. Same as to the tape you found in the courtyard. Curiously, you tapped Mattheo’s shoulder, scaring him out of his tranquil state.

“Shit! Y/n, don’t sneak up on me like that.” Mattheo cursed in surprise, quickly pulling down his headphones and turning to face you, a mix of caution and annoyance in his eyes.

“What are you listening to?” you asked, genuine curiosity evident in your voice.

Mattheo hesitated for a moment, as if weighing his response. Finally, he met your gaze and replied, “Somethin’ Stupid, by Frank Sinatra.”

“Muggle music?” you questioned again, intrigued by his choice.

Mattheo sighed, turning back to face the table and crossing his arms. The solitude he had been enjoying was now broken by your company. “Yes, muggle music,” he replied, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. “You wouldn’t know it.”

You silently absorbed his vague answer, a soft smile forming on your lips. Bending down to pick up your bag from the floor, you rummaged through its contents until your fingers brushed against what you were searching for. With a sense of anticipation, you pulled out a small, box-shaped mixtape. Scrawled across its surface in marker were the words, "The Smiths."

“Muggle music huh, like this I presume?” You held the mixtape up within his eyesight. Mattheo's eyes widened slightly in recognition as he realized that the mixtape you were holding was his own. He uncrossed his arms, a mix of surprise and gratitude washing over his annoyance.

“You found it,” he breathed, his voice tinged with relief.

You nodded, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. “It was lying in the courtyard. I figured it must be important to you since you’ve mentioned before that you liked muggle music.”

Mattheo's expression softened, tilting his head with a smile, touched by your gesture. “You remembered?.. It is. Thank you.”

As he took the mixtape from you, his fingers brushed against yours, sending a jolt of warmth through you both. In that fleeting touch, a connection seemed to spark between you.

You've always been friends, but it was always just friends. Not close friends, or bestfriends. Just friends.

The library's quiet enveloped you once more, but now it was accompanied by a newfound sense of comfort and understanding. As Mattheo took out the previous tape, and put in his favorite one, you couldn't help but feel that this chance encounter had brought you closer together in an unexpected way.

Mattheo paused, a thought forming in his head.

"Do you wanna.. listen with me?"

The flickering light from the cauldron cast long shadows on the potions classroom walls. Mattheo stared in frustration at his potion, which was bubbling in all the wrong ways. He let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through his tousled hair.

"That's it. I can't do this. I’m a lost cause," he muttered, pushing the textbook away and slumping back in his chair.

You shook your head, a determined smile on your face. "You’re not a lost cause. Come on, we can work on it together. Potions is tricky, stop being so hard on yourself."

Mattheo looked at you, doubt etched in his features. "I’ve tried and tried, so many times I’ve lost count. It’s hopeless." He thought of Malfoy and his other friends who had tried countless times to help him pass this project, only to give up defeatedly.

You leaned in closer, your eyes filled with encouragement. "It's not hopeless. Let’s go through the instructions again, step by step."

Tucking your hair behind your ear, you grabbed the book and turned it toward him again, pointing at the list of ingredients. "Remember, you need to add the crushed pearls after the rose thorns. Not before."

Mattheo glanced at the instructions, "How do you remember all this?"

A smile spread across your lips as you chuckled softly. "I actually really enjoy this class. It reminds me of cooking. But enough about me, focus Riddle."

He turned his gaze to you and laughed softly, watching as you explained the potion once more. He noticed the twinkle in your eyes as you talked about a subject you loved, the way your hands moved to make gestures, and how your hair framed your face perfectly, even as the cold wind tried to blow it away. You looked like his favorite mixtape—captivating and cherished.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he turned back to focus on the potion. Despite his earlier frustration, he found it hard to concentrate when you were all he could think about now. But he wanted to impress you.

With your patient guidance, Mattheo carefully measured out the ingredients, adding them in the correct order this time. As he followed your instructions, the potion started to change color, transitioning from a murky brown to a shimmering gold.

A flicker of hope sparked in Mattheo’s eyes. "It’s actually working."

You smiled brightly. "See? I knew you could do it."

A loud laugh of triumph escaped from Mattheo's throat, and as he continued to brew the potion from memory, the shimmering gold color shifted into a soft beautiful pink, with a mother-of-pearl sheen.

"Well Mr. Riddle, I think we have a love potion."

He looked at you with gratitude in his eyes, acknowledging your role in the successful creation of the potion. You could've very easily given up on him, but you didn't.

"Give it a sniff!"

Mattheo leaned over the cauldron, inhaling deeply as the Amortentia potion began to release its powerful scent. His eyes widened in surprise, then softened with confusion. He straightened up, a puzzled look on his face.

"That's odd," he murmured, more to himself than to you. "I don't smell anything distinct, no new smells."

You furrowed your brows, leaning over the cauldron yourself to sniff the potion. Yet, no new smell arose. All you could smell was Mattheo's scent, and all he could smell was your scent. Both that have already been lingering in the air the moment you stepped into the classroom together.

"Huh, maybe I brewed it wrong?" He defeatedly sighed.

Mattheo was on his way out of the common room, ready to meet up with his friends for their usual late-night hangout. The laughter and chatter of Blaise, Draco, and Theodore echoed faintly from down the corridor. He was just about to push the door open when something made him pause.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a familiar figure curled up on the couch by the fireplace. You were fast asleep, a textbook resting open on your chest and a few loose parchments scattered around you. The soft glow from the dying embers of the fire cast a warm, flickering light across your tired face.

Mattheo hesitated, torn between joining his friends and staying behind. His eyes softened as he watched you, noticing the way your hair fell gently across your face and how your breathing was slow and steady. You looked so serene, a contrast to the usually bustling common room.

Unable to help himself, he quietly walked over to the couch. Carefully, he gathered the loose parchments and placed them in a neat pile on the table beside you. He gently closed the textbook and set it aside, making sure not to disturb you.

Instead of leaving, Mattheo decided to stay and look out for you. He settled himself beside you, carefully plopping himself down to sit. You stirred slightly in your sleep, and Mattheo smiled softly, reaching out to adjust the blanket draped over you.

With you resting, Mattheo decided to make himself comfortable as well. He shifted slightly, allowing you to rest your feet on his lap. He pulled out his headphones, making sure his tape player was at a low volume. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes peacefully at your presence and the music playing in his ears.

END OF FLASHBACKS. * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

"Earth to Riddle," Draco said, waving a hand in front of Mattheo’s face. "Where are you, mate?"

"I like her."

Mattheo opened his mouth to speak more, but then closed it again, feeling a rush of clarity. He liked you. No, it was more than that—he realized he was falling for you. All those moments together, your kindness, your patience, your laughter—it all made sense now.

Without another word, he stood up abruptly, his friends laughing at his late realization. "I have to go," he said, his voice firm with determination.

"Yeah! Go get her tiger!" Theo cheered.

Mattheo ran out of the Great Hall, his heart pounding in his chest. He needed to find you. He needed to tell you how he felt.

The cold air nipped at his ears as he ran down the corridors, but he didn't care. His mind was consumed with thoughts of you. He recalled the softness of your voice, a soothing tune to his often restless thoughts, like the songs he uses to escape. He thought about everything he loved about you—the way your eyes sparkled with understanding, your infectious laughter, and the small gestures that showed your kindness.

Your patience with him stood out the most, especially during times when he struggled and felt like giving up. You always believed in him, offering encouragement and support even when he couldn’t find it in himself. Each memory of you fueled his determination, propelling him forward through the chilly air.

He sprinted down the corridors, ignoring the curious looks from other students. He knew where you’d be—near the Herbology classroom. As he burst out of the castle doors and ran toward the greenhouse area, he saw you standing there, leaning against the wall, completely unaware of the whirlwind of emotions that had driven him here.

You turned as Cedric pointed at Mattheo, a confused look both on your faces at the sight of him running toward you, when suddenly he shouted,

"Hey Y/n! I love you!"

My first upload received so much attention, I DID NOT EXPECT THAT AT ALL. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who commented and reblogged. It means a lot to me that people enjoyed my writing, and I hope you all enjoy this one too. To be honest, this work could've been better and I've been putting off finishing this since like forever. But @taylorisamastermind 's kind words inspired me to finish. Again, if you notice any grammatical mistakes, no you didn't!

Thank you everyone! xx

[my masterlist⋆｡°✩]

#mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle imagine #fanfiction #fluff #mattheo riddle oneshot #mattheo riddle x y/n #slytherin #harry potter #wizarding world #oneshot

826 notes · View notes

hsjazebel · 5 months

Text

Passion in Tokyo*

Word count: 2280

A/n: just a japanrry fic

Content warning: smut, 18+, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, daddy kink

masterlist

Tokyo welcomed us with its orderly chaos and its frenetic beauty. As we walked through the crowded streets, Harry seemed to have a secret hiding behind his playful smile. I couldn’t figure out what he was up to, but his excitement was contagious and it made me feel like I was in the middle of an amazing adventure.

Every place we visited seemed to be carefully chosen by Harry, and every look, every gesture, was full of meaning. I wondered what he was up to, but I didn’t dare ask him, fearing to ruin the magic of the moment.

When we finally arrived at the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, the golden light of the sunset tinged the surrounding landscape with warmth. Harry seemed engrossed in his thoughts as my heart pounded as I waited to find out what he had in store for us.

As we walked through the garden, the rustling of the leaves and the sweet scent of the flowers created an enchanting atmosphere. Harry held my hand gently, but his gaze reflected silent determination. I wondered what he was thinking as we ventured deeper and deeper into the heart of the garden.

At a certain point, we came to a romantic little bridge that crossed a quiet lake. The sunset light danced on the water, creating golden reflections that illuminated our path. Harry stopped in front of the bridge, his gaze scanned the horizon with a mixture of emotion and serenity.

My heart began to beat faster in my chest as I wondered what was about to happen. It was as if time had stopped, leaving just the two of us in a moment suspended in eternity. With a sigh, I turned to Harry, ready to face whatever fate had in store for us.

The tension in the air was palpable as we exchanged meaningful glances. Harry took a deep inhale and knelt in front of me, revealing a small box hidden in the palm of his hand. My heart leapt in my chest as my eyes filled with tears of joy and wonder.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice shaking, “ever since I met you, my life has changed in ways I never imagined. You are my light, my smile, my everything. I can't imagine spending a just a moment without you by my side. I would like to ask you... would you like to marry me?"

My hands trembled as I opened the box, revealing a gorgeous, sparkling ring. My words were lost in the tumult of emotions overflowing inside me. With a bright smile, I nodded slowly.

Harry looked at me with eyes bright with hope and love, and my breathing deepened as I watched him. The words hung in the air for an infinite moment, before they finally came out of my mouth with a sweetness I didn't know I possessed.

'Yes, Harry,' I replied with a trembling voice, 'yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.'

A smile of joy lit up Harry's face as he stood up and hugged me tightly. The weight of the box in his hand became a tangible sign of our commitment to each other, a symbol of our love that would last forever.

The sunset colored the sky with shades of pink and gold as we exchanged sweet promises and whispers of love. In that moment, the world around us seemed to disappear, leaving us alone in our universe of happiness and hope.

After accepting his proposal, the air around us seemed charged with electricity, as if every single molecule was impregnated with our newly recognized love. The erotic tension between us was palpable, a wave of desire that grew with each heartbeat.

We looked at each other intensely, without words, but with a profound understanding that went beyond verbal expressions. It was as if we were reading each other, revealing our innermost desires without having to utter a single word.

Slowly, our mouths came closer, attracted by an irresistible magnetism that bound us to each other. The first contact was delicate, a light touch that sent shivers along my skin. Then, the kiss became deeper, more passionate, as if we were to merge our souls into a single entity.

My hands ran down his body with a firm determination, exploring every curve, every line, as if I wanted to memorize every single detail of him. I felt the heat of his skin under my fingers, and my body burned with desire as I abandoned myself completely to him.

His lips were soft and hungry, devouring mine with an uncontainable passion. Our breaths mixed in a frenetic rhythm, as if we had to share the same oxygen to survive. It was a kiss that exuded desire, union and promises of endless love.

Our tongues intertwined in a sensual dance, exploring every corner of each other's mouths with insatiable curiosity. Every moan, every sigh, was an expression of our unquenchable passion, a language that only the two of us could understand.

In that moment, in the heart of Tokyo, under the starry blanket of the night sky, we had united not only as lovers, but as soul mates destined to walk the path of love and passion together.

After that intense moment of passion, Harry took a deep inhale, his eyes still burning with desire as he looked at me with affection. “Y/n,” he whispered huskily, “I think it's time to go to the hotel.”

His voice was full of promise and anticipation, and my heart was still beating fast in my chest as I nodded slowly, unable to speak due to the intensity of the emotions we had just shared.

With a knowing smile, we walked hand in hand towards the hotel, our pace impatient and full of expectations. Although the city around us was still in turmoil, our world was reduced to that moment, that place, the promise of a night of passion and shared love.

Once we arrive at the hotel, Harry gently closes the door behind us and turns to me with a look full of desire.

“How about waiting for daddy like a good girl on the bed?” he tells you in his usual low tone of voice.

You nod without saying anything and head to the bedroom that was separate from the rest of the suite.

You undress to just your underwear, already knowing that Harry will appreciate what you've done.

You wait what seems like a lifetime when Harry finally makes his way into the room. He has two glasses of white wine in his hand and has unbuttoned the first 4 buttons of his shirt, revealing some of his tattoos on his chest.

“I see you've been a good girl, waiting for dad only in your lingerie that he bought you” she tells you, letting out her usual mischievous smile and handing you a glass of wine.

You both take a sip from your glasses, then Harry takes yours from your hand and places both little holes on the nightstand next to the bed.

“I think it's time to celebrate.”

He lays you flat on your back and starts running his hands all over your body leaving wet kisses here and there.

“You know,” he says, they detach their mouths from your body, “when I bought this I already imagined how it would feel on you, but seeing it in person is a completely different thing. You're a fucking goddess.”

You stand there in silence, letting out a moan every now and then, it feels like your brain has turned to mush, the only thing you can think about is Harry.

Meanwhile he got dangerously close to the area where you need him most, and slowly takes off your black lace panties.

He inhales deeply as he uses his hands to open your legs. “You always smell good to me don't you? And always so wet! Who made you so wet?”

“You… it was you”

But Harry doesn't seem happy with your answer, giving you a light slap on the inside of your thigh. “I didn't hear, who made you wet?”

“You daddy, it was you!”

“Good girl,” he tells you, leaving a wet kiss near your crotch. “Since you were a good girl I think you deserved a present.”

With the help of his thumbs he opens your pussy lips, and smiles when he sees your clit already erect and smooth with your excitement.

He doesn't wait a second longer and dives into your pussy, licking your clit first, making tight circles with his tongue, and then he draws licks that go from your hole to your clit.

Harry was so good at giving head, the best you've ever been with. The little grunts he let out when he tasted your nectar straight from the source turned you on even more.

With his hands you grab his hair and pull him closer to you as you ride his face.

In the room the only noises that can be heard are your moans and the wet sound of Harry's tongue meeting your pussy.

He moves his mouth away from your center and you moan at the loss of contact. “I think she's ready to take daddy's cock now, don't you?”

“Yes, yes daddy, I need you, I need your cock.”

Smiling at your words Harry quickly strips off his clothes and you can finally see his cock, standing with the red tip already dripping with precome.

“How do you want me, pretty girl?”

“I want to be on top.”

“Go pretty girl, ride me.”

Harry sits on the bed with his back against the headboard of the bed, spreading his legs slightly and stroking his cock.

You slowly sit on his cock, it was big and long and despite the several years you were together at the beginning you always had a little difficulty taking it.

“Such a tight pussy for daddy, isn't it? You always hold me so good.” Harry tells you, looking at the place where the two of you are connected.

When you sit on his hips, with his cock buried deep inside you, both of you moan enjoying this moment of intimacy.

After you adjust to the size of him you start to move on top of him, placing your hands on his pecs for leverage, but Harry takes your left hand and kisses your ring finger, where the ring is placed.

“You look so beautiful, riding me naked with just this sparkly ring. I still can't believe you said yes to me."

You smile at his words. “I will always say yes Harry, today, tomorrow and always”

He crosses your left hand with his, and with his other hand he takes you from behind the neck and dives on your lips, bringing you to a kiss full of love and passion.

He feels your hips start to slow down and he can tell you're getting tired, so he places your hips flat on the bed and meets your hips with upward thrusts.

You moan into his mouth in response, and he brings his hands to the cheeks of your ass, first leaving two smacks, and then taking a cheek in each hand and starts railing you harder.

“God, you feel so fucking good” he moans in your ear.

The sounds in the room were highly pornographic, the noise of your wet pussy being pummeled by Harry's cock was the only sound that could be heard, other than your moans and a few grunts from Harry.

“I feel your pussy squeezing me, are you ready to come for me love?” he tells you gently, a stark contrast to the thrusts inside you.

“Uh… yes, I need to come, make me come daddy please, I want to come with you” you whine.

“You know what the rule is, love, you come first. So come on, let me feel that pussy coming holding me so hard.

With three more thrusts from Harry you finally feel your orgasm hit you like a train. Your legs begin to tremble and you feel the muscles in your abdomen contract.

“Just such a beautiful girl, cumming so hard on daddy's cock. Do you want me to fill you with my cum? Is that what you want?"

You nod frantically as you catch your breath. “Yes daddy, I want you to fill me with your cum, I want to feel full.”

And so after a few more thrusts you feel Harry's hot sperm filling your insides, and you stop with your head on his chest listening to the pounding rhythm of his heart. Our breaths mix in a relaxed rhythm, as we enjoy the stillness after the passion.

“You are so special to me, Y/n,” Harry murmurs in a soft voice, his fingers gently stroking my hair.

I hold myself closer to him, his warmth wrapping around my body like a security blanket. “And you mean everything to me, Harry,” I reply with a tender smile. “I couldn't have imagined a better night.”

We get lost in our thoughts, relaxed and fulfilled by the deep connection we share. The air around us is filled with a sense of peace and serenity, as if the whole world had stopped to allow us to enjoy this moment of happiness.

With a delicate kiss on the forehead, Harry holds me even closer, and I close my eyes, completely immersing myself in the feeling of being loved and protected in his arms. In that moment, there is nothing but the two of us and our love, an island of calm and happiness amid the chaos of the outside world.

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles blog #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #japanrry

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xxspringmelodyxx · 7 months

Text

Never Doubt How Much I Love You~

Husband!Gojo Satoru x Reader

When he has a nightmare about you

As Satoru lay asleep beside you, his normally calm and confident demeanor dissolved into one of vulnerability. His usually composed expression contorted with anguish, and his gentle snores were replaced by the sounds of distress. As Satoru’s distress escalated, the sound of his groans and mumbled words stirred you from your own slumber. Your eyes fluttered open as you felt his grip around your waist tighten. The sight of him, caught in the throes of his nightmare, pierced through the haze of sleep, igniting a surge of concern within you.

In the dim light filtering through the curtains, you could see the faint glisten of tears on his cheeks, evidence of the turmoil plaguing his dreams. The sight tugged at your heartstrings, compelling you to reach out and comfort him, even if it meant stepping into the realm of his nightmares.

Gently, you reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead, your touch feather-light against his skin. "Satoru," you whispered softly, hoping to rouse him from the grips of his unsettling dream. But he remained ensnared, his troubled murmurs growing louder with each passing moment.

As Satoru continued to mumble incoherent words, you strained to make sense of his fragmented utterances. Amidst the jumble of syllables, a few phrases stood out with startling clarity.

“Y/n…Don’t leave me, please,” he whispered, his voice laced with desperation. His voice began to waver as the nightmare went on, each moment feeling painfully real.

“I…I need you.” He continued.

You quickly reached out to him, your hand finding his in the darkness, offering him the reassurance of your presence.

Feeling a sense of urgency, you shifted closer to him, wrapping your arms around his trembling form. "Hey, come on. Wake up, Satoru," you urged, your voice laced with concern.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with sorrow. “I didn’t mean to make you go….”

But in his dream, his pleas fell on deaf ears. No matter how much he begged, you remained resolute, your departure leaving him stranded in a world devoid of light and warmth.

You continued to gently shake him, pressing gentle kisses against his forehead, hoping to anchor him to the present and pull him away from the darkness of his subconscious.

”Come on, Toru. Wake up. I’m right here.” You spoke gently, your voice laced with worry.

After a couple more seconds, his sobs stopped suddenly as he realized it was all a nightmare.

Slowly, his eyelids fluttered open, revealing eyes clouded with lingering traces of fear. He blinked owlishly, confusion evident on his features as he struggled to orient himself in the wake of his nightmare.

“Y…Y/n?” He asked with hesitation, not sure if this was all a dream or not. It pained you to see him in such distress, and you vowed to do everything in your power to soothe his troubled mind.

"It’s okay, I’m right here." you murmured reassuringly, your words a comforting balm against his frayed nerves. You continued to hold him close, offering him the solace of your embrace as he gradually emerged from the depths of his troubled sleep.

As the last vestiges of his nightmare faded away, he turned to you, his gaze searching yours for solace. "I... I had a nightmare," he admitted, his voice raw with emotion. His vulnerability pierced through the facade of invincibility he usually wore, laying bare the depths of his inner turmoil.

You pressed a tender kiss against his cheek, a silent gesture of reassurance and support. "Do you want to tell me about it?" you asked gently, your voice a steady anchor in the tumult of his emotions.

Satoru’s breath caught in his throat, his gaze distant as he struggled to find the words to articulate the horrors that had plagued his dreams. “It was…,” he began, his voice faltering as he grappled with the memories that still lingered in the recesses of his mind. “It felt so real.”

His grip around you tightened, as if he was scared you would disappear if he let you go.

“It was… it was about us,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

You listened intently, your heart aching for him as he recounted the nightmarish scenes that had unfolded in his subconscious. “We… we got into a heated argument,” Satoru whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. “It was the dumbest argument ever… yet in the moment, it felt like it was all that mattered.”

Satoru brows furrowing as he tried to recall the specifics of the dream that had left him so shaken. “I can’t even remember what it was about,” he admitted, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “It was like… like everything was amplified, and nothing else existed except for the anger and frustration between us.”

Listening to him, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought of him going through such a tumultuous moment, even in his dreams. “And then what happened?” you prompted gently, urging him to continue.

“But… after we finished,” he continued, his voice wavering with emotion, “you… you just left.”

The heaviness of his words hung in the air, weighing down on both of you. In his dream, you had become the embodiment of his deepest fears, the person he loved most turning away from him in his moment of need.

“I begged you to stay,” he whispered, his voice cracking with sorrow. “I pleaded with you to rethink, to give us another chance. But no matter how much I begged, you wouldn’t listen.”

“You even threw off your wedding ring and told me it was over.” He finished, grabbing your left hand to play with the golden band around your ring finger.

”I felt so…lost. So hopeless…” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

“It was like… like I had lost the most important person in my life,” he admitted, his voice cracking with sorrow. “And no matter how much I begged and pleaded, I couldn’t change the outcome. I was powerless to stop you from leaving.”

After he finished, he chuckled a bit due to the relief of it all just being a nightmare. Suddenly, you felt a surge of determination welling up within you. “Satoru,” you began, your voice unwavering as you met his gaze. You placed your hand on his cheek, softly caressing it and placing soft kisses on his nose and cheeks, “I want you to know that I will never leave you, no matter what happens. I love you more than you will ever be able to understand.”

His eyes widened a bit in surprise at your declaration, his features softening as he took in your words. “Really? Even when I am super annoying and bug you to no end?” he asked, his voice tinged with a bit of playfulness.

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips at his playful tone, the warmth of his presence filling the room. "Even then," you replied, chuckling softly. "Because even when you're annoying, you're still the person I love more than anything in this world."

Satoru's eyes sparkled with amusement, his playful demeanor melting away any lingering traces of tension. "Well, in that case, I guess I'll just have to work extra hard to be less annoying to make things easier for you," he teased, his voice laced with affection.

You laughed, the sound light and carefree, as you leaned in to press a tender kiss against his forehead. "Just promise me one thing," you said, your voice soft but firm.

"What's that?" he asked, curiosity dancing in his eyes.

"That you'll never doubt how much I love you," you replied, your gaze unwavering as you met his eyes. "Because no matter what happens, my love for you will always remain steadfast and true."

Satoru's smile softened, a look of gratitude shining in his eyes as he pulled you close. "I promise," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. "And I love you more than words can ever express."

As the playful banter faded into the background, you and Satoru found yourselves drawn to each other, seeking comfort in the warmth of each other's embrace. With a contented sigh, you nestled closer to him, the familiar feel of his arms around you enveloping you in a sense of security.

Your fingers traced delicate paths through the silken strands of his white hair, a gesture born of tenderness and affection. As you combed through his hair with gentle strokes, you felt his body relax as he quickly felt a sense of tranquility. It was a small gesture, perhaps, but in that moment, it spoke volumes of the depth of your love for him.

Satoru's touch was gentle and full of love as well, his fingers tracing soothing patterns along your back as you melted into his embrace. In the quiet of the room, the only sound that filled the air was the steady rhythm of your breaths, a comforting melody that echoed the depth of your connection.

With a soft smile, you tilted your head up to meet his gaze, the warmth of his eyes reflecting the love and adoration that filled your heart. Without a word, he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a tender yet passionate kiss that sent shivers down your spine.

Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourselves in each other, the world fading away until there was nothing left but the two of you, bound together by the unbreakable bond of love and devotion.

As you both finally pulled away, breathless and filled with a sense of peace, you two snuggled in together, seeking the comforting embrace of sleep. The world around you faded into obscurity as you surrendered to the tranquility of the moment, letting the wonderful deep slumber take over. Wrapped in each other’s warmth, you found consolation and serenity, drifting into the realm of dreams with contented hearts and intertwined souls.

_____________________

964 notes · View notes

becauseanders · 1 year

Note

A new Anders tattoo you say? 👀

it’s still healing so here’s a picture from when it was brand new-new! it’s more of a subtle homage than direct (i still have future plans for other anders-related tattoos though, because of who i am as a person, lol) but i definitely Did This For Him™

#the trash makes noise #wardenkay #my tattoos #unfortunately it has already faded a lot because ehlers-danlos skin sucks #but i still love it #also the chances i am going to have it means tumult!anders gets this same tattoo are very high now #because something something birds and freedom that makes sense for that au

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leejenowrld · 9 months

Text

my first and last masterlist

find everything related to my one shot, my first and last, in this one post. do not copy.

requests are OPEN!! send me asks and request anything you want to see related to the fic.

my first and last one shot, 37k, smut, fluff, opposites attract

meet lee jeno, campus heartbreaker, fuckboy, secret nerd. he’s the notorious guy that everyone wants but he only wants you —a shy, introverted stranger who appeared from nowhere, turning his life upside down. what starts as a reputation-defying connection swiftly evolves from strangers to friends and to intense, immediate love. it’s a twist the two of you never saw coming, the opening of your hearts to someone unexpected. but as personal struggles and external issues threaten to derail your connection, the once-confident jeno is left shattered and ensnared in the tumult of a love story gone awry.

lee jeno x yn boyfriend texts

boyfriend texts

boyfriend texts ii

boyfriend texts ii.

boyfriend texts iv

boyfriend texts v.

boyfriend texts vi

boyfriend texts vii

boyfriend texts viii

drabbles

jeno meeting yn’s parents

yn meeting jeno’s parents

jeno taking care of sick yn

jeno taking care of yn during an anxiety attack

scenes i didn’t include in the fic

jeno and yn aftercare

jeno and yn fight

jeno and yn sex ban

people getting in between jeno and yn

jeno and yn talk about their future kids

people trying to come in between their relationship

jeno and yn soft sex

jeno size kink, Ii

yn passenger princess

jeno and yns friendship with each others friends

would they have a threesome, no II

jeno being mean to her in bed

mfal yn riding his face

food play

ice play

wildest thing mfal jeno has done before yn

reaction to pregnancy

soft sex

how they spend valentines

being pregnant and giving jeno a lap dance

are you still mad? come and sit on my face

comforting after a nightmare

arguments and how they sort it out

most kinky things yn and jeno have done

jeno and yn as teens

jeno and yn as kids

jeno’s life before yn

jeno and yn moments

exam stress

overstimulation

top 5 jeno horny/kinky moments

being obbessed with jeno’s cock

jeno and haerin things

how jeno treats her on her period

ask the characters

questions - a little segment where the characters are interviewed and asked questions about anything! you learn more behind the scenes facts here and it’s super interesting. look through it :) sexual, fluffy and smut scenes

ask the characters

ask the characters ii

ask the characters ii.

ask the characters iv

ask the characters v.

ask the characters vi

ask the characters vii

ask the characters viii

visuals

yn and jeno’s ig

yn’s private account ig feed

yn’s posts and comments on her ig

jeno comments on her posts

yn and jeno’s fashion sense

how jeno looks in the fic

yn’s engagement ring

mfal jeno camera roll

mfal jeno and yn (18+) links

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peppermintquartz · 2 months

Text

Hen wonders if Buck realizes how loudly he broadcasts his thoughts and feelings. He's better at keeping his mouth shut, for which Hen is grateful - she does not need to hear about Buck's sexcapades ever again - but his face expresses everything that comes into that pretty head of his.

Like right now, for example.

It's the Firefighter Challenge regionals and Tommy's signed up after losing a bet to Eddie, and now Buck is torn between supporting his boyfriend and supporting Eddie representing the 118.

"They'll give a good showing at least," Chimney says, offering some churros to Hen and Buck. Hen takes one and Buck declines. "But they're going up against Wesley from the 114. They gonna be trounced."

"Eddie will beat that guy," Buck says loyally. His brow is furrowed as he tries to pick out his best friend from the assembled challengers. He brightens and waves his hand wildly. "There he is!"

Chimney grins. "Wesley's represented the west side in the nationals for three years running. Eddie's good, but he's not that good."

"And more importantly: will Tommy beat Eddie?" Hen inquires slyly.

Buck's face falls and he wails, "I don't know!" He goes on tiptoes to try to locate Tommy, but everyone is in their SCBA and there's too many people between them and the starting line.

"We should've signed up for the team events," Ravi says as he joins them. "Boost morale, team-building..."

"I prefer my morale boosted through snacks and alcohol," Hen deadpans. When she glances at Buck, she wants to laugh out loud. The poor kid looks like he's an icon of despair.

Buck sees Hen looking at him and sulks. "I can't find Tommy!"

Denny doesn't sulk as good as that. Hen smothers her amusement. "We'll see their names - oh, look, the display is on. We're about to begin."

The tinny sound of the commentators come across the speakers with heavy distortion, but Buck cheers and whoops when they hear something like "Diaz from Station 118!"

"I don't hear Thomas Kinard," Ravi observes unnecessarily after the names were all read out.

Buck is frowning hard enough to crack a walnut with his face. "That doesn't make sense. Tommy definitely signed up, I was with him when he did." He takes out his phone and types rapidly. Then his face clears and he is sunshine again, even as he is rolling his eyes. "Sly asshole. He signed up for the Over 40 category."

He clearly doesn't mean the asshole comment, and it's good that he can be so fondly annoyed by his boyfriend. Not merely infatuation and novelty, then. Maybe soon they'll have their first fight. Maybe she can advise him, or Maddie or Bobby will. Doesn't matter. As long as they're on the same page.

Chimney guffaws. "Well that's one way to avoid Wesley!" Before anyone can say more, they hear the pop of the starting gun and a tumult of cheers erupt from the spectators. Buck roars his support, nearly knocking Chimney and Ravi over when he throws up his arms when Eddie pulls ahead in the climb up the tower.

Laughing to herself as the guys get into the spirit of the competition, Hen thinks it's good that Buck can be so open and in touch with his feelings. Wearing his heart on his sleeve isn't such a bad way to live.

#hen wilson #evan buckley #bucktommy #tevan #chimney han #ravi panikkar #eddie diaz #tommy kinard

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yangsharperavery · 1 year

Text

my carmy/sydney related thoughts on season 2

i think when digesting this show, it's done more easily when we see who carmy and sydney are as people and how they bring that beingness to their dynamic.

it's interesting to see the takes from people who are troubled by what they saw in this season in terms of their relationship.

i personally thought there was so much fascinating groundwork that was laid.

we knew when molly gordon was cast they were likely trying to introduce a love interest for carmy.

i was not shocked, i was not surprised. i literally expected it.

doesn't mean i wasn't rolling my eyes but i was well aware of what function she would play within the narrative.

but the writing is so sharp that there are a million subtle elements of carmy's character, and what we know about him up to this point, including what was illuminated by the christmas episode.

let's first talk about carmy's choices and behavior where it relates to claire vs sydney and the restaurant.

we know that carmy is awkward, isn't incredibly relationally experienced and has sacrificed everything for his career and specific level of skill.

he'd just been ruminating on expanding his experiences as expressed in the al-anon meeting.

we know this man is intensely grief-stricken and also that he's battling his own mental health.

we also know he's literally been bred from chaos and emotional tumult.

even him not going to his own brother's funeral makes so much sense after that christmas episode.

he couldn't stand to witness what that type of grief had done to his already deteriorating mother.

so he's trying to conceptualize fun.

notice he wasn't trying to conceptualize love or relationships or a partner.

it was literally presented and integrated as fun.

so he runs into this girl he used to a have a crush on and even then, he's not sold because he knows himself, he knows his priorities, his propensities toward self sabotage, etc so he gives her a wrong number.

yet she persists.

so to me, this may seem like a sign to him to give this a chance, do some exterior exploration of something outside of the kitchen and outside of his career and outside of his own neurosis.

so he's just going with the flow. trying to be "normal". not really knowing the content or context of anything. another reason why he wasn't even calling claire his girlfriend.

claire even brings up the fact that they'd hung out so much but didn't actually talk.

which is SPOT on because the audience only actually ever sees them talking about their careers or what they were like as kids/teenagers.

but you know who carmy DOES talk to? hmm, more on that later.

so claire is symbolic of this thing that was pleasant when he was younger, when he was less of this grown conglomerate of anxiety and disarray and sorrow. a part of him that's separate from all of his current worry and fixations and dysregulation.

him saying he loves her so much and that he thinks she's so great actually rings hollow because we, the audience, didn't actually get to see when and where that level of specific emotion or intensity occurred.

so off rip i don't believe him. i don't think about it in the context of if or when he and sydney explore anything, because it feels patently untrue to me.

and completely separate from sydney.

it's not earned. it's not rooted. it's not tacitly valid.

it's fine. it's a good time. it's some laughs and conversation and sex and a nice, normal person he has fond, nostalgic memories of.

and i think it's written that way on purpose!

so him professing this to other people feels like this way to continue digging a hole of his own distraction, his absence, his lack of attention to detail.

i completely understand the frustration that many feel about interpreting this like carmy was essentially choosing claire over sydney.

carmy was trying to have an unfamiliar and different experience and didn't have the depth perception, the self awareness and the internal regulation to recognize he was doing it to the detriment of something so deeply and irrevocably important to him.

as soon as sydney brought it up, he got defensive but then moments later recognized his errors and apologized.

she told him she didn't want to share his attention.

he told her she was absolutely correct and that she deserved his full focus.

what's fascinating about this part is they aren't even explicitly talking about the restaurant.

she says "me" and "i", he says "you".

uh. wow.

now even in the context of JUST the restaurant this is saying ALOT here.

him instantly apologizing and agreeing with her requests means a substantial amount.

carmy isn't an ass because he stood sydney up for the palate cleanser. or even because he went absent when he shouldn't have.

carmy is deeply troubled and wounded and suffering and he was grappling for something else to feel or do or think about besides what he's ALWAYS thought about and done and fixated on.

that's why he's unreliable, that's why he's haphazard and emotionally or energetically messy. he's coping.

that's why he knows he makes mistakes all the time. because he feels like he's a screwup in a lot of specific ways in his life so he's used to it.

he's not being malicious or cruel or even unkind to sydney.

and this isn't an excuse. it's a reason. it's what all the information we have about him up to this point is providing us.

and yes, his timing is godawful.

but he trusts this person so implicitly because he knows how talented and capable she is.

carmy does not know HOW to be a partner, of any kind. where would he have learned that? where would that have been modeled for him?

"this is what you wanted originally and i'm giving it to you."

so let's transpose the way carmy and claire are presented with how carmy and sydney are together.

he literally can't WAIT to hear what sydney has to say. about literally anything.

at any given time.

"say more please."

all he wants to do is listen to her talk. he wants to know everything about her. the personal stuff too, almost especially.

he listens to her so closely. in the first or second episode she loses her train of thought and he repeats everything she just said.

i don't even think it was restaurant related.

he brings up her mother not once, but twice.

he feels like he should have known that sydney lost her.

he wants to pour into and believe in her because he does. he already does.

he's ready to apologize to her because he knows what a mess he can be and often is.

he knows what his anger can do. he knows how he was conditioned and raised in the industry and he doesn't want that at all for her, least of all from him.

especially after she walked out last season.

he's hyperaware of it. he calms down instantly both times she does the sign for sorry that HE taught her.

he has this propulsion to NEED to know what's happening with her in the very moment something occurs.

he did it last season when she quit on the spot and he kept trying to talk to her when she was leaving.

he did it this season when she was frustrated and trying to say goodnight after carmy was actively telling everyone goodnight and to go home, yet he tried to talk to her when she was leaving.

"what?"

"i'm saying goodnight."

he was repeatedly ushering everyone out but because of the look on her face, carmy's like wait, "what's that about, what's happening?"

he can't stand it!

same with them outside last season when he brought her food and asked what was wrong.

if something is up with her, he reacts immediately.

if she's peeved, he wants to know why right away, he wants to know what to do to make it better, how to approach it, what to say, he goes out in search of that information in the moment it's happening.

sydney is his soft place.

he feels very anchored and tethered to her and i believe she feels the same with him.

sydney is his respite. his peace. the thought of her literally calms and stills him.

her being energetically seats him.

we saw it penetrate his seismic and consistent panic in real time.

that was clearly displayed for all of us to witness.

he doesn't want to be cruel or unkind or anything other than present and communicative with her.

i'd venture to say he actually doesn't want anything more than that, besides maybe the restaurant to succeed.

now sydney is in her "i have something to prove" era.

she is so driven and so determined but she's also a realist and is inundated and surrounded by all this proof that what she's doing may be foolhardy.

at the very least, it's incredibly risky. it's a jump.

and someone deeply ambitious and creative and tuned in and focused like sydney has such fear of failure.

because she knows what it often means for someone like her.

that's why she overextends herself so continuously.

she's often had to and she thinks it gets her closer to the opposite of failure.

she was not only aware of the gaps carmy's absence was leaving but also planning this tasting menu with a MILLION things on it because something was gonna be the star because it MUST.

and i think the carmy absence flares a bit of abandonment as well, like he's left her in a lurch.

she has feelings about that.

she finds out why he did, and TRIES not to have feelings about that.

that's confusing and she's already beyond stressed out so she tries to stuff it.

her success is so tied to her identity because she's worked so hard to get where she is and still feels like she's not where she wants to be.

so she wrestles with worthiness and worry and the financial climate of affability for restaurants. she's riddled with what if she can't hack it?

she has evidence of that being true in the past.

she has evidence of her past failures and those are what keep her up at night, not the infinite possibilities of her future successes.

and that's also why she picked carmy.

because she was always going to pick the best.

she was always going to follow the career and moves of the standout in the industry.

of the person that made the best meal she's ever had.

so if he's anal retentive or jumpy or doesn't call about changing the structural elements of their restaurant while it's happening, she deals with it because she picked him.

she chose him. and then he chose her.

(and then she lightweight chose him again when she came back)

so that's why when they're talking he so often checks in by looking her in the face, scanning her expression. he instantly picks up on something being off or wrong or him being "shitty".

or why when they're under a damn table, despite being peeved or annoyed with his disappearing acts, she lets out the most vulnerable, softest admissions about the perceived necessity of her contribution and future failure.

or why he responds with "i couldn't do it without you" so instantly, so rapidly, it's like it's etched in him. that's the quickest response he'd given to anything she said to him the entire season, she barely got the words fully out before he was verbally soothing her.

then he STAMPS this by saying "i wouldn't WANT to do this without you."

there was such an unexpectedly, viscerally aching quality to that exchange.

it's honestly searing.

i'm sorry are these wedding vows or are we talking about opening a damn restaurant?

or the way he says "you love taking care of people" to her when she talks about making sugar food.

that's also a stellar mirrored moment because i've seen a few people, i believe @eatandsleepwell is one, talk a lot about how that's one of carmy's main drivers and internal tenants.

they see so much of themselves in each other.

the buried parts, the unknown parts, the odd parts.

the parts they wanna work on. the parts they wanna exalt.

they are so similar. they are also quite different.

they have reflected one another in the narrative since s1 ep1.

they exist so flawlessly within the others interstices.

she wordlessly hands him pepto for his stomach.

he tells her he won't let her fail.

the pulsing undercurrent of sydney and carmy is pretty fucking palpable.

there's people on social media who weren't convinced or didn't ship them last season that have suddenly completely seen the vision.

whether the writers actually go there or not remains to be seen.

i don't necessarily trust that they will or won't to be honest because i know there are so many moving pieces and variables and factors.

ships get bypassed and messed up all the time.

i don't watch any shows for ship guarantees but i know how writer's rooms work.

i'd venture to bet that at least 1/3 of that room DOES have an interest in seeing something happen between carmy and sydney, (maybe even 1/2).

or at the very least the option to have it explored.

different people write different episodes, the showrunner/creator can scratch or add whatever.

scripts are TIRELESSLY edited and shortened.

yet there is alot that makes the final cut that points to the potent carmy and sydney marrow.

him giving her the captain reigns before they served for the first time, her saying 'let it rip'.

to me, sydney walked into that failing sandwich shop with a mission that day, they locked eyes and immediately fused.

something happened to the both of them in that moment and they largely don't even realize or can adequately reckon with its magnitude yet.

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy x sydney #the bear spoilers #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #tldr #this is literally a dissertation don't feel bad if you didn't read it all

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lila-lou · 5 months

Text

✨ His only exception - Pt. 21/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: Language, angst, hurt

Word Count: 3377

A/N: This is part 21 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As you stood there in the bathroom, staring at your reflection, the tumult of emotions swirling within you threatened to overwhelm you. Jay's presence in your life had brought moments of joy and comfort, but now faced with the prospect of intimacy, you found yourself grappling with feelings you hadn't fully acknowledged.

Your mind wandered back to Ben, his absence palpable yet his memory hauntingly present. Could you truly move forward with someone else, knowing the lingering shadow of Ben hung over you?

The sound of Jay's voice outside the bathroom door broke through your reverie, a reminder of the present moment and the person waiting on the other side. Part of you longed to confide in him, to share the inner turmoil consuming you, but another part hesitated, fearing his reaction and the potential fallout of your honesty.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?". His tone was gentle, laced with concern. "You seem… off. Is there something you want to talk about?".

You hesitated, the weight of his words sinking in. Jay's genuine concern only served to amplify the turmoil within you. How could you explain the maelstrom of emotions churning inside your chest without delving into the depths of your past?

"I'm… I'm fine", you replied, your voice betraying a hint of uncertainty. "Just… dealing with some things".

There was a moment of silence before Jay spoke again, his tone softer now, filled with understanding. "You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is, I'm here for you".

His words tugged at something deep within you, a flicker of hope amidst the chaos.

"I know", you murmured. "I just… need some time to sort things out".

You stepped out of the bathroom, your eyes red.

"C´mere", he whispered.

Feeling Jay’s arms envelop you in a comforting embrace, you let out a shaky breath, momentarily finding solace in his warmth. But his next words shattered the fragile calm that had settled over you.

“I just… I can’t shake this feeling”, Jay murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he held you close. “It’s like… I’m all in, you know? But sometimes it feels like you’re… not as committed to this as I am. I know we haven't been together that long, but it feels like you don't really want the whole thing”.

His words hung heavy in the air, a weighty reminder of the unspoken tensions simmering beneath the surface of your relationship. You swallowed hard, the guilt of withholding your true feelings threatening to suffocate you.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered, your voice tinged with regret. “I don’t mean to make you feel that way. It’s just… complicated”.

Jay pulled back slightly, his gaze searching yours for answers. “Complicated how?”, he asked, his tone a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. But as you met his gaze, the sincerity in his eyes urged you to be honest.

“There’s… someone else”, you confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush. “Was someone else, I… I don´t know. It´s someone from my… past, I guess. And I… I’m still trying to figure out what that means for me… for us”.

Jay’s expression faltered, a flicker of hurt crossing his features before he masked it with a forced smile. “I see”, he said quietly, though his eyes betrayed the turmoil within. “I guess I always knew there was something more”.

You reached out to touch his arm, a silent plea for understanding. “It’s not that I don’t care about you”, you insisted, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s just… complicated”.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of your confession hanging heavily between you.

Feeling Jay’s gaze fixed on you, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself to share a glimpse of the tangled web that had ensnared your heart.

“We had… a connection, a deep one. But things didn’t end well”.

Jay listened intently, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity as he leaned back against the wall, his eyes never leaving yours.

“And now”, you whispered, the words barely “now I’m here, with you. But… but part of me still feels tied to him, to what we had”.

Jay looked down at you, his gaze searching yours with a mixture of compassion and uncertainty.

"Are you sure you're ready for a new relationship?", he asked. "I mean, if part of you still feels tied to him… it's okay to take more time to figure things out".

Your heart ached at his words, the truth of his question hitting you with a force you hadn't anticipated. Were you truly ready to move on, to fully commit to a new relationship?

You shrugged, unable to meet Jay's gaze as a pang of guilt washed over you. "I don't know", you admitted. "I want to be, but… it's hard".

A flicker of hurt crossed Jay's features at your words, his shoulders slumping slightly as he struggled to mask his disappointment. "I understand", he said quietly, though the pain in his eyes betrayed the depth of his feelings. "I just… I want you to be happy, whatever that means for you… for us".

Tears welled in your eyes as you reached out to him, desperate to ease the ache you had caused. "I'm sorry", you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't want to hurt you".

Jay enveloped you again in a gentle embrace, holding you close as if trying to shield you from the pain of your own indecision. "It's okay", he murmured against your hair, his voice filled with a quiet resignation. "We'll figure it out together, okay?".

And as you clung to him, the weight of your uncertainty pressing down on you.

With everything swirling in your mind, you felt as though you were losing yourself in the chaos. The person you once knew, the one who had made promises and believed in love, seemed like a distant memory now.

After letting yourself in with Ben, you were pretending to be someone you weren't. And now, with Jay, you had thrown yourself into a new relationship, hoping to find solace in his kindness and affection. But in the process, you were hurting him, and the realization cut you to the core.

As Jay held you close, offering comfort and understanding despite the turmoil within you, you couldn't shake the feeling of guilt gnawing at your insides. How could you continue to deceive him, to pretend that everything was fine when you were barely holding yourself together?

More tears welled in your eyes as you buried your face in Jay's chest, seeking refuge from the storm raging within you. "I don't know who I am anymore", you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion.

Jay held you tighter, his own heart heavy with the weight of your pain. "It's okay", he whispered, his voice filled with compassion. "We'll figure it out together. Just… be honest with me, okay? That's all I ask".

You nodded against his chest.

Jay held you close, his arms a comforting embrace as he gently brushed his hand over your back, soothing the ache that had settled deep within you.

"Hey", he murmured softly, his voice a gentle caress against your ear. "When was the last time you visited your mom, or your family? Or at least met with some friends?".

His question hung in the air, a stark reminder of the isolation that had gradually encroached upon your life in recent weeks. You thought back, trying to recall the last time you had reached out to anyone outside of your interactions with Jay, but the memory eluded you.

"I… I don't know", you admitted. "It's been a while. I've been so caught up in everything… I guess I lost track of time".

Jay's embrace tightened slightly, a silent acknowledgment of the loneliness that had crept into your life unnoticed. "Maybe… maybe it's time to reach out to them. They care about you, you know?".

Again you nodded against his chest, the weight of his words sinking in.

Jay pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head. "Come on", he said softly, his voice tender as he gently pulled away from your embrace. "Let's go back to the living room".

As you settled back onto the couch, Jay wrapped his arms around you once more, pulling you close as if to reassure himself of your presence. His touch was gentle, yet persistent, as he continued to brush his hand over your arm in a comforting gesture.

With each stroke, a sense of calm washed over you, the weight of your worries momentarily lifted by Jay's unwavering affection. Just like it has been for the last few weeks.

As you nestled into his embrace, Jay let out a soft sigh, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke.

"I think… I think you need to figure out your feelings", he murmured, his words tinged with a hint of uncertainty. "I don't want to push you into anything, but… I really like you. And… and I do not want to lose you. Whether as a girlfriend or just a friend".

His admission hung in the air, a vulnerable confession of his own desires and fears. You turned to look at him, finding solace in the warmth of his gaze as he continued.

"So maybe… maybe we can take it slow", Jay suggested, his voice tentative yet hopeful. "We don't have to rush into anything. We can just… see where things go".

His words resonated within you, a gentle reminder that healing and growth often came with time and patience. You nodded in agreement, a sense of relief washing over you as you leaned into his embrace.

"Thank you", you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude. "For understanding".

Jay smiled softly, his fingers kept tracing soothing circles on your arm. "Always", he replied. "I'm here for you, no matter what".

In the days that followed, Jay and you spent countless hours talking, sharing stories, and getting to know each other on a deeper level. His presence became a source of comfort and stability, grounding you in the midst of uncertainty.

With each conversation, you felt pieces of yourself falling back into place, like a puzzle slowly being reassembled. Jay's patience and understanding gave you the space to explore your feelings and rediscover the person you once were.

One day, feeling a newfound sense of confidence and belonging, you suggested visiting the team again. Jay readily agreed, eager to meet the people who had played such a significant role in your life.

After introducing Jay to the others, everyone told you about the latest events, gave you an update on Homelander, and told you what it was like in the executive suite at Vought. Despite the distance and time apart, the bond you shared with them remained as strong as ever.

As the evening stretched on, you found yourselves gathered at a cozy bar with Hughie, Annie and Jay. Annie told you about her temporary leading position at vought.

You listened with admiration as she described the challenges and triumphs of her new role, marveling at her resilience and determination. Despite the pressures she faced, Annie seemed to thrive in the leadership position.

Meanwhile, Jay struck up a conversation with Hughie, the two of them quickly hitting it off. They exchanged stories and shared laughs, bonding over their mutual interests and experiences. You watched with a smile as Jay's easygoing charm drew Hughie out of his shell, the two of them becoming fast friends.

After a while, Annie led you to the bar to get some new drinks, the lively chatter of Hughie and Jay faded into the background, leaving you alone with your thoughts. As you waited for the bartender to take your order, Annie leaned in, her voice low and conspiratorial.

"So, what's the deal with you and Jay?", she asked, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I have to say, I really like him. You've definitely hit a good one".

You smiled weakly, grateful for Annie's support but unable to shake the weight of your own uncertainty. "He's great", you admitted, your voice tinged with hesitation. "But… I'm still trying to figure things out".

Annie nodded in understanding, her expression sympathetic. "I get it", she said softly. "But just know that Jay really cares about you. And if anyone can help you through whatever you're going through, it's him".

You sighed, the weight of her words settling heavily on your shoulders. "I know", you murmured, a pang of guilt tugging at your heart. "I just wish things weren't so… complicated".

Annie let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she leaned in closer, her voice tinged with exasperation.

“You need to forget about Ben”, she insisted, her tone firm. “He’s not worth your time or your heartache. You have someone amazing right in front of you, someone who genuinely cares about you”.

You nodded, knowing deep down that Annie was right. But as much as you wanted to let go, the pull of your feelings for Ben remained stubbornly strong.

“I know”, you replied softly, your voice filled with resignation. “But it’s not that easy. Ben… he made me feel things no one else ever could, or ever will”.

Annie rolled her eyes, her disdain for Ben evident in the way her lips curled into a frown. “Yeah, well, he was also a huge dick most of the time”, she muttered under her breath.

You couldn’t help but chuckle weakly at her bluntness. “That’s true”, you admitted with a rueful smile. “But despite everything, there was still something about him…”.

Annie shook her head, her frustration evident as she reached out to squeeze your hand in a gesture of support. “But you deserve someone who treats you right”.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the difficult conversation ahead. "I know Ben wasn't always ideal", you began, your voice tinged with emotion. "But he… he literally risked his life for me so many times… We, he, was special. We had something special".

"If there was really something special, he wouldn't have just left", she said bluntly, her words hitting you like a punch to the gut.

The truth in Annie's words cut deep, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within you. You knew she was right, that Ben's departure had left a gaping hole in your heart that seemed impossible to fill. But despite the pain, a part of you couldn't let go of the memories, the moments of connection and intimacy that had once brought you so much joy.

Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to find the words to respond."But… it's not that simple…".

Annie reached out to you, her touch gentle as she wiped away your tears. "I'm sorry", she said softly, her voice filled with empathy. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to be happy, that's all".

As you walked back to the table with Annie by your side, you couldn't shake the weight of her words echoing in your mind. With a heavy heart, you stole a glance at her, a silent plea for comfort and understanding.

"He didn't even say goodbye", you mumbled, the bitterness of the truth lingering on your tongue.

"He's just an asshole", she said, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"But he… had his reasons", you replied quietly, thinking about russia, though even you weren't entirely convinced by your own words.

Annie shook her head, her frustration evident as she linked her arm with yours. "Maybe", she conceded, her voice softening. "But that doesn't excuse the way he treated you. You deserve better than that".

In the apartment, Butcher, MM and Frenchie sat in tense silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Frenchie shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his brow furrowed with worry. “I don’t like lying to (y/n)”, he muttered under his breath, his voice tinged with guilt.

Butcher let out a frustrated groan, his frustration palpable in the air. “If (y/n) knew we had captured Soldier Boy, she’d be on the next flight to free him”, he grumbled, his tone laced with bitterness.

MM glanced between his companions, his expression grave. “We can’t risk it”, he said firmly, his voice a quiet reminder of the stakes at hand.

Frenchie let out a frustrated grunt, his unease bubbling to the surface. "If that ever comes out, (y/n) will hate us all", he muttered.

Butcher's jaw tightened at the thought, his frustration boiling over into anger. "She won't find out", he snapped, his tone harsh and uncompromising. "No one is spilling the beans, understand?".

MM nodded in agreement, his expression solemn as he met Butcher's steely gaze. "We'll keep our mouths shut", he affirmed. "He wasn't good for her, Frenchie. He just used her".

But Frenchie shook his head adamantly, his brow furrowed with disagreement. "I don't think so", he interjected, his voice firm with conviction. "I think he really did love her".

Butcher scoffed at Frenchie's assertion, his skepticism evident in the way he narrowed his eyes. "Love? That's a load of rubbish", he retorted, his tone dismissive. "He's a bloody supe, Frenchie. They don't know the first thing about love".

Frenchie bristled at Butcher's words. "Clearly you didn't see the way he looked at her", he countered. "There was something real there, I'm telling you".

MM glanced between Butcher and Frenchie, a troubled expression crossing his features. "Maybe", he conceded reluctantly. "But even if he did love her, it doesn't change the fact that he's a liability now. We can't afford to have him jeopardize us".

Turning back towards Annie, you couldn't shake the nagging question that had been gnawing at the back of your mind. "But don't you think it's strange he didn't even say goodbye?", you asked, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "I mean, we were kinda friends, right?".

Annie raised a skeptical eyebrow, her expression incredulous. "Friends?", she echoed, her tone laced with disbelief. "You're for real, (y/n)?".

You flushed slightly, taken aback by Annie's reaction. "Well, maybe not friends exactly," you admitted sheepishly. "But we… we had something".

Until now, you hadn't told anyone how much had actually happened between you and Ben, even if everyone could already guess.

Annie let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she shook her head. "I don't know what you had with Ben", she replied, her tone softer now. "But whatever it was, it's over now. You deserve better than someone who would just up and leave without a word".

Despite your best efforts to move forward, being back with the team brought a flood of emotions rushing back, intensifying the ache of missing Ben. Every corner of the room seemed to whisper his name, every familiar face a bittersweet reminder of the bond you had shared.

You found yourself lost in memories, replaying moments spent with Ben in your mind like a broken record. His absence felt like a gaping hole in the fabric of your reality, a void that no amount of distraction could fill.

And as you navigated through the days, the longing for Ben weighed heavily on your heart, casting a shadow over even the most joyous moments. Despite the passage of time, the pain of his absence remained raw and unyielding.

And as you struggled to reconcile the past with the present, you couldn't shake the feeling that despite your best efforts, you were still trapped in a cycle of longing and loss.

———————————

A/N: I hope this chapter makes you feel a little better :D There's still so much planned guys, just wait. Please let me know what you think.🥰

Part 22

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy @jackles010378 @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles @sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl @emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444 @seasonofthenerd @staple-your-mouth @artemys-ackles @selfdestructionandrhum @mystic-mara

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #billy butcher

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sommerbueckers · 2 months

Text

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬⁵

𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐘𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲

___________________________________________________________

AS THE PEOPLE OF New York City walked carefree with their heads high and smiles bright, Myla realized that she was the only one feeling uncomfortably bothered. She was taking her usual route to the Starlight Lounge, the route that had once felt so familiar to her now felt dark and cold. Had it always been this way? Perhaps it had and she had been too in love to notice.

After what felt like hours, she finally reappeared on the main street. The first thing she spotted were the bright red lights of the very nightclub she was heading to, and it was only then that she could physically feel the anxiety coursing through her body. It had been years since Myla last set foot in the Starlight Lounge. While her avoidance was largely intentional, a deeper part of her seemed to impose an unspoken limit, preventing her from approaching within thirty feet of the establishment.

She had never anticipated returning, let alone for the very reason that had driven her away initially. As she found herself at the end of the line, she wiped her hands on her jeans for what felt like the tenth time that night, making a concerted effort to maintain her composure. The line progressed swiftly, and it wasn't long before Myla reached the front.

The Starlight Lounge was as packed and vibrant as always; servers walked around in their provocative uniforms, young women pranced around with old rich men at their sides, and Myla found herself sitting at the bar as she waited for one specific bartender to come up to her. Though this time, she was dreading the conversation they'd have.

Two nights prior, everything had been perfect. Myla had been nestled with Roxie on the bed, chatting with Paige, their smiles unwavering. However, the following morning, Myla awoke to a message from the last person she had anticipated hearing from—the last person she wanted to hear from. A surge of dread enveloped her as she read the message, and she spent the entire day contemplating it before mustering the courage to respond.

The curly-haired woman reread the messages repeatedly, her brow furrowing as she struggled to comprehend their meaning. The task proved futile; only one person could quell the tumult of thoughts racing through her mind, and that person happened to be setting a drink down in front of her.

Her short, dark waves were styled in a half-up, half-down arrangement. The double slits in both of her eyebrows appeared newly done, as did the array of unfamiliar tattoos adorning her arms. She placed the White Russian on a small napkin and lightly patted the counter, pressing her lips into a thin line to offer Myla the most genuine smile she could muster.

"I go on break in five, we can talk then."

For those five minutes, Myla sat in uneasy silence. Her drink remained untouched on the counter, slowly dampening the napkin beneath it. She declined all offers of food and sidestepped attempts at conversation, unable to focus her thoughts. The urge to cry seemed to intensify as the night progressed. Just before she buried her face in her hands, she heard the faint buzz of her phone on the counter.

Paige: Everything ok?

She had been ignoring Paige all day, not because she wanted to, but because texting Paige and her...Ghost at the same time felt wrong. She would respond to Paige eventually, but she had to take care of business first. When the uncomfortably familiar face reappeared before her, it was her signal to rise and follow her through the back. She had frequented this area countless times for far more pleasurable reasons than the one that brought her here now. Yet, as circumstances shift, some things remain unchanged.

Ghost pushed open the back door and the two were met with a small parking lot and a few dumpsters. They stood in silence for the first few moments, the taller girl scrutinizing Myla as she shifted uncomfortably under the intense gaze. She hugged her sweater tightly against herself, the night was chilly but she did it for comfort.

"You really haven't seen it?" the dark haired girl asked, her brows heavenward as she looked down at her.

"Seen what?" Myla's voice dripped with irritation. The entire time they had been texting, Ghost kept talking about some video that Myla had to see. Not failing to express how shocked she was that the model hadn't already seen it.

"The fucking video Myla," her muffled voice said through her hands.

"What fucking video Ghost?!"

The other woman began to respond, but was interrupted by a sudden, new question that arose in her mind.

"What'd you just call me?" she asked, her natural frown deepening.

Myla's lips parted in utter shock at her own words, her face reflecting her surprise. She had never before referred to the woman as 'Ghost'; it had always been Natalie. She shrugged nonchalantly, as if the slip were an everyday occurrence.

"Ghost," she repeated quietly, "why?"

Natalie shook her head briefly, as if trying to clear her own thoughts which were racing just as fast as the girl's in front of her.

"You just...you've never called me that before, you told me you didn't like it," she explained.

"Yeah well..." Myla's voice trailed off and she looked toward the sea of cars as if the remainder of her answer lied there, "a lot can change in two years."

She nodded her head in response, crossing her...big, tatted arms over her chest as she sighed. "Look Myla, there's something you need to see..."

"What is it?"

With visible reluctance, Natalie reached into her pocket to retrieve her phone. After tapping away silently for a few moments, her expression twisted in distaste before she extended her arm to hand the phone to Myla.

As the video played, her anxiety mounted with every passing second. Her heart raced, each frame revealing more of herself than she was prepared to confront. The familiar pangs of self-doubt and discomfort surged as she scrutinized her own image, magnifying every perceived flaw and imperfection. Her palms grew clammy, and she found it difficult to breathe, overwhelmed by a visceral sense of vulnerability. The reality of her appearance and actions, laid bare before her, felt like an invasive intrusion into her private world, leaving her with a profound sense of unease that she struggled to shake off.

Myla shut the phone off, a waterfall of tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"What the fuck is this?" she tried to remain collected, but the unsteadiness of her voice betrayed her.

"Myla-"

"What the fuck Natalie!" she yelled, roughly tossing the phone at the other girl not caring if she caught it or not. She did, just before it could fall to the ground. "What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"So then what the fuck is this?! Are you fucking insane?! Do you know what this shit could do to me?!"

Natalie was now fuming, acting as a mirror as the two seething girls stared at each other.

"You think I did this?! When I promised you it wouldn't get out I fuckin' meant it!"

"Bullshit!"

"Fuck you, Myla! This is just as bad for me as it is for you," the older woman pointed out.

"Except it isn't! You're famous in a world full of criminals who do illegal shit to get out of other illegal shit! I'm a model, Natalie, a fucking model, and my image is my career. If this shit gets out..." Myla took a step back and shook her head, "it's gonna ruin me."

The totality of Myla’s career was at stake. Everything she had built, everything she had been working toward, had it all been for nothing? For some obscene video of her that she had allowed someone, against her better judgement, to take? Someone she loved, someone she trusted, Natalie.

As expected, the other woman stood silently. She knew Myla was right, this was significantly worse for her. She watched as Myla pulled out a crate from the corner and sat on it, running her hands through her tangled hair.

“Where is the video now?” she questioned.

“It hasn’t been released to the public yet, but I know who has it,” Natalie sighed.

“Other than you, you mean?” Myla spat nastily. When she was met with nothing but silence and the obnoxious honking from the cars on the street, Myla continued with a sigh. "Who?"

"Listen Myla, I can take care of this shit...but i'm gonna need your help," Natalie explained quietly. "The chick i'm supposed to fight next, she goes by the name King Ruby, and she's got the video." Myla listened carefully. "She's threatening to release it to the public if I don't back down from the fight with her."

In Myla's eyes, the answer was quite simple.

"So back down from the fight then," she threw her arms up.

"I can't Myla..."

"Why the hell not?"

"This was the last win I needed to get out, and I was gonna win. I've been prepping to fight her for weeks now, and then this shit comes up and fucking ruins everything," she gently rubbed her temples. "And money is tight right now, I can't afford to not fight."

Tears pricked Myla's eyes and she shook her head with a whine, "Natalie...fuck!" abruptly she stood up, "Fuck this is all your fault."

She paced back and forth.

"I can't afford to not fight unless you help me," the short haired girl finished.

"Help you how?"

Natalie stood cautiously, knowing how risky the question was but also knowing that the both of them were desperate for solutions. Natalie stared at her with a mix of anxiety and hesitation. She knew she had to ask Myla for money, but the thought made her uneasy. Myla had always been willing to help her, but Natalie couldn't shake the feeling that this time might be different.

"If you give me some money -- just to get by for the next few weeks -- then I can back out of the fight."

Myla stared at her, a familiar knot forming in her stomach. If she didn't help, Natalie would finally be able to get herself out of anything that had to do with underground fighting, the only downside was that her entire career would go up in flames and there wouldn't be anything she could do to stop it. But if she did help, perhaps it could buy the two some time to figure out how to get rid of that fucking video.

She couldn't help but think about Paige and what the video would do to them. She was a completely different person now than she was when she and Paige had been in school together, and she had made enough mistakes in her life to never make another again. The two had already been out in public together, and while they hadn't been caught on any cameras, it was bound to happen eventually.

What would people think about her if this video was released? What would Paige think of her? Surely whatever little relationship they had established would burn, it would ruin Paige's image to be seen with someone who had allowed a sex tape of themself to be filmed. Myla would be judged by everyone in every corner of her life. She would lose money, friends, and respect within the industry.

The answer was painfully obvious, she had to give Natalie the money.

"How much do you need?" she muttered.

"Well I need rent, food, and maybe a little for emergencies," Natalie shrugged shamefully.

Myla threw her head back and looked to the sky, the stars looked beautiful as they surrounded the moon.

'I wonder if Paige is looking at these same stars right now...'

"Tell King Ruby you're backing out, text me your address and i'll drop a check off sometime this week..."

"Fuck Myla!" Natalie breathed out as she stood up, "You're fucking amazing."

"Well I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Natalie's shoulders slumped slightly, and she tilted her head as she looked down at the woman she once loved.

"We're gonna get through this...I promise."

___________________________________________________________

had no idea where this chapter was goin at first and then the brilliant sex tape idea popped into my mind so hope u enjoyed

love ya!

#paige bueckers #uconn wbb #wlw post #paige bueckers x reader #gay as fuck #sommer bueckers #love beyond the likes #paige buckets #series #lesbian

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