#it might be harsh but I think she got the absolute worst treatment out of all of the game cast and that her route just doesnt work

[bluehairperson]

Nadia for the opinion bingo

I could write an essay on how I feel about her and her route but yeah, egh.

[dogbearinggifts]

I saw you mention in an ask that Diego spotted the abuse they underwent first. In what order and how do you think each of the kids came to the realization of what their dad put them through? They all obviously are still reeling from everything years later and it was EXTRA apparent during the light supper.

The light supper did many things, but the one thing it did most of all was show just how deeply he damaged these kids. Here they are in their thirties, meeting with a man who doesn’t know them yet—and even though they’re all completely on edge, guards up, expecting the worst, they’re still blindsided by how low he stoops just to gain a slight edge. 

But I digress. Here’s how I think each one of them came to realize Reginald was abusive, and the order in which I think they realized it. This is mostly just speculation on my part, so I could be wrong, but I like to think it’s an educated guess. 

Diego: Watching his dad give Luther nothing but praise while he received nothing but criticism fostered a good deal of resentment in him, but I think it also led him to see that something was very wrong much sooner than some of his other siblings. See, the torture they endured seems to have happened behind closed doors—Vanya losing her powers, Klaus being locked in the mausoleum, whatever awful things he did to Allison, Ben and Five in the guise of making them stronger—but the verbal abuse Diego went through happened out in the open. It had to. Reginald wanted to goad Diego into pushing his own limits to beat Luther at a game neither of them could win. To do that, he needed make them both aware that there was a competition, that Luther was winning and Diego was losing, and that all of the other siblings knew the score. Being locked in that dynamic meant Diego was constantly, painfully aware that no one else had to deal with Reginald’s constant nitpicking—but also that no one else was lavished with praise the way Luther was. Even to a sheltered kid who’s allowed few friends outside the family and limited freedom to leave the grounds,  that treatment is visibly wrong. Diego might not have been able to call it abuse as a teen, but I think seeing the blatant discrepancies between how he and his siblings were treated—plus his legendary stubbornness—kept him from internalizing it for too long. When Reginald used Ben’s funeral to shame them all, that was probably the moment Diego began seeing him not as a bad parent, but as a monster he needed to escape.

Vanya: Like Diego, she was treated differently from her siblings. Unlike Diego, I do think she internalized it to a degree. We see her taking up the violin in an attempt to impress her dad (“I’m going to be extraordinary”) and her visible dismay when Reginald says “I’m afraid there’s nothing special about you.” Even as an adult, after years on her own, she sends Reginald a copy of her autobiography. It’s possible this was an attempt to get him to see things from her perspective, but it’s equally possible she sent it to him as a means of saying “Look, Dad, I wrote a book. I got it published. It’s on the bestseller list. Be impressed, you asshole.” Part of her wanted to impress him, and part of her believed that if she just tried a little harder, she could do it. Although she recognized that her treatment was unfair sometime in or prior to her teen years (we see her protesting Reginald’s refusal to let her be in the family photo) the part of her that wanted to earn his favor probably kept her from fully embracing the idea that she was not responsible for how she was treated. That said, I do think she’d realized Reginald was the problem by the time she moved out, and she probably began calling him abusive once she either read up on abusive relationships or learned about them from her therapist. Learning that there was a word for what she endured, and that no decent person considers it okay, was probably strangely comforting and empowering all at once. 

Klaus and Ben: After Ben’s death, they almost certainly began talking more. Ben would’ve had to witness Klaus’ burgeoning addiction spiral out of control, and he wouldn’t have let it happen in silence. Maybe his resentment festered shortly after his death; maybe it came years later. Whatever the case, I think that when Ben began arguing with Klaus over his drug habit, Klaus pushed back—and eventually, this pushback led to him spilling details of what led him down that road. “He locked me in a fucking mausoleum when I was just a kid” probably stunned Ben into silence for a few hours at least—and also reminded him of the things Reginald forced him to do while he was alive. Maybe they started trading stories to empathize with each other; maybe they traded them to one-up each other. Whatever the case, I think that as they learned they’d both been effectively tortured by their own father, they both began to realize how twisted their childhoods had been—and that they were not to blame for it.

Allison: While her reactions during the light supper prove Reginald terrorized her as much as he did the others, we also know she used her power to get whatever she wanted. Parental abuse is damaging to everyone, no matter who you are; but abuse from a parent you can manipulate is a little easier to endure, and it’s much harder to recognize that something is wrong when you can buy yourself a respite—or at least a few material things to ease the pain. She had an advantage the others didn’t, and I think this advantage kept her in denial, believing Reginald might not be so bad after all, if he gave her all those nice things and didn’t complain, until Ben’s funeral. Watching Reginald use her brother’s death as an opportunity to berate and shame them for something she knows wasn’t their fault makes her angry and hurt enough to stand up to him, despite the derision this earns her. I think that day affected her pretty deeply—maybe even more deeply than her siblings. Ben’s funeral was probably the day she realized there was nothing redeemable in her dad after all and that she had to get away for her own safety. Once she was out on her own, I think she sought out books on bad parents—starting with survivor memoirs, empathizing with the narrators more strongly than she expected, then branching out into self-help. She probably read the signs and checklists over and over, just to make absolutely certain her experiences counted as abuse and she wasn’t just being dramatic and ungrateful.

Five: If he hadn’t gotten stuck in the apocalypse, I think he might have been one of the first to realize Reginald was abusive. But because he spent the majority of his life in a world much harsher than the Academy (which isn't to say the Academy wasn’t harsh, but no one had to eat cockroaches to survive it) his memories probably took on a rosier hue. A place with a solid roof over his head, where he was guaranteed clean clothes, companionship, and never had to wonder where his next meal was coming from—after starving out in the open and talking to a mannequin, Five probably thought more than once that he’d never argue with Reginald again if it only meant a return to those comforts he once took for granted. This longing, mixed with self-loathing over his stupidity at getting stuck, probably led to some self-blame over how Reginald treated him, if his “I was too hard on you” to Reginald during the light supper is any indication. He realized Reginald was abusive at some point (probably after some heated arguments with Dolores) but I think he’s also gotten it into his head that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed at the time—not as bad as growing up in the apocalypse, at any rate.

Luther: Not only did he stay in the Academy well into his twenties, but he put his own safety on the line, nearly died in service to Reginald’s goal—a goal he’d fooled himself into thinking was his own—and when the man who endangered him, mutilated him, and shunned him exiled him to a hunk of rock floating in space, he still blamed himself. While he took a major step forward in the latter half of S1, placing the blame for his pointless Moon mission on Reginald (where it belongs), I think his jump into the sixties caused him to regress a bit. I don’t think he forgot what Reginald did to him, but I do think he assumed that Reginald might be kinder in his younger years. Maybe he thought parenthood made him less patient or—more tragically—that something he and his siblings did turned him into the kind of man who would shame his surviving children at their brother’s funeral. I think he believed that if he could just talk to his dad before all of that happened, he’d be welcomed with surprise and joy, pulled into a hug and asked about all he’d accomplished. While Reginald’s rejection shattered him, I think it also, in a sad and twisted way, freed him. Luther learned, once and for all, that Reginald simply hated children. Reginald’s callousness and outright cruelty wasn’t due to anything he did—it was the result of taking on parenthood out of a sense of obligation, resenting it every step of the way, and lacking the emotional maturity to avoid taking it out on kids whose only crime was dependency on him. The fact Luther didn’t believe it until he heard it from the man himself speaks volumes about the control Reginald still had over him, even after his lies were laid bare.

[etherrealoblivion]

Chapter Thirteen: Just For Tonight

Table of Contents

Fic summary: Owning a bookstore in downtown D.C. came with its fair share of downsides. You never thought that being the target of a serial killer would be one of them. Luckily, a nice FBI agent by the name of Spencer Reid is assigned to watch over you. What's the worst that could happen?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 1,660

MASTERLIST

~

The entrance to the hotel was stylish. The marble floors and golden detailing screamed ‘you can’t afford me’. 

Spencer was carrying both your suitcases. The two of you wore sunglasses and hats. It made you laugh at first, the idea of dressing up like undercover superheroes. 

“Isn’t it just gonna make us more suspicious?”

“Actually, people tend to glance over those with their eyes or hair obscured. It’s more useful than most people think.”

“Uh-huh.” Bullshit.

So here you were, standing slightly behind Spencer as he talked to the woman at the front desk.

“Hello. Reservation for Chris Kelvin.”

The woman smiled and typed away at the keyboard. Then her face fell.

“Ah. I’m sorry Mr. Kelvin, we did try to get in touch with you. We left multiple messages.”

The FBI had taken your and Spencer’s phones. Something about tracking.

“What, is there a problem with the reservation?” The worry seeped into his voice, and the woman quickly reassured him.

“Oh, no. Well, slightly. You booked a double room but I’m afraid that there’s a bridal convention in town and all the double rooms have been booked up.”

“So, what, you don’t have any rooms?”

That’s not what she said, you thought bitterly.

“No, sir. We’ve had to change your reservation to a single bedroom. But! We are able to knock a few hundred dollars off the price.”

Spencer was silent, gaping at her.

She nervously fumbled through a drawer, looking to sweeten the pot.

“And . . . um . . . I can offer an all-inclusive couple’s spa treatment for you and your wife.”

She pulled out two coupons and handed them to Spencer. He made no move to take them.

As awkward as it was, you recovered enough to lean forward and take the tickets.

“Thank you,” and you hooked your arm around his elbow. “My husband and I appreciate it.”

You pulled him away from the front desk toward the elevator. Once the doors had shut, you let go, taking your suitcase from him.

“Sorry about that,” you said, adjusting your hat. “Figured it was less suspicious to just go along with it.”

He nodded curtly and didn’t say another word until you got to your room.

Despite the warning, you still found yourself surprised by the lone bed in the center of the room. There were two closets, two desks, and even two sinks in the bathroom. Was it that hard to put another bed?

If you weren’t so distracted by the prospect of sleeping with the man you had a crush on in a fancy hotel bed, you might have appreciated how fancy the room actually was.

You busied yourself with hanging up and putting away your clothes. You’d only had time to pack a couple of outfits and two sets of pajamas. The hotel probably had quick laundry machines, though. You weren’t worried.

Spencer, however, was nervously looking through the room, presumably for any kind of cameras or listening device.

Taking off your hat and glasses and throwing them on the desk, you said, “J.J. said they already did a sweep of the room.”

“Yeah, well, J.J. knows everything, right?” he spat bitterly, throwing his arms up.

You didn’t say anything, just stared at him. He melted under your gaze, realizing how harsh he’d been.

“I’m sorry that was . . . I’m sorry. I’m a bit stressed. J.J. just . . . sometimes she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Before the two of you had left for the hotel, J.J. had pulled Spencer aside for a moment, whispering to him so you couldn’t hear. Afterward, he seemed agitated, more snappy. Did she say something about me? No. She wouldn’t. Right?

“It’s okay,” you said calmly, checking out the gorgeous bathroom — could a bathroom be gorgeous? — “I know all about being stressed. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he said quickly, an automatic reaction. “No, thank you, but I’m ok.”

“Okay,” maybe it was best not to press the issue. Only now did you register how dark it was outside. How had that much time passed since this morning? Maybe all the questions and consent forms you had to deal with forced your brain into autopilot, making time move faster. “I’m gonna get changed.”

A few minutes later you came out of the bathroom, wearing a large sleep shirt and underwear. You couldn’t bother with pajama pants right now. Besides, he’d seen you in your underwear before. It wasn’t crossing a line. Right?

He took one look at you and said, “I’ll make the request for a rollaway bed.” and picked up the phone on the nightstand.

“No!” he looked at you, waiting for an explanation. You had to think quickly to find one. “I mean, won’t that be suspicious? If they think we’re a married couple. . . .”

After analyzing you for a moment, he sighed and put the phone down.

“You’re right. I’ll take the floor.”

“Spencer, you don’t have to take the floor. We’ve had this conversation.”

“I can’t handle being . . . I’ll be fine, thank you.” 

It was so sad to watch him pull the pillows from the sofa to the floor, covering them with a blanket and taking a pillow from the bed. Did he not want to sleep with you that bad? Did he not like you that much?

“Please . . .” 

God, you were pitiful. This man was practically begging to stay away from you but you persisted. But he had asked to stay assigned to you. And what was that about not handling? The mixed signals were pulling your heart this way and that, constantly unsure of what to do next, of what was too far.

But Spencer looked at you with that same something in his eyes you’d seen before. You knew it was more than . . . whatever you currently had. It was greater than wanting, than hoping. The gravity of it hit you harder than you’d expected and as you stared into his dark hazel eyes, you felt your own beginning to well up with tears.

His face fell and he got up from the floor and sat on the bed, arms finding their way around you, coaxing you to lay down with him. 

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed into his dress-shirt. 

“Shh,” he ran his fingers through your hair, smoothing it out and gently untangling it. It was a gesture filled with affection, adoration . . . love?

“I’m just so . . .” the words escaped you, but Spencer pulled back and looked at you, eyes probing yours, a slight smile on his lips.

“I know,” was all he said.

And in that instant, you knew. You knew absolutely the very last thing that would ever matter. That you were utterly, truly in love with Spencer Reid. And there was no way you could ever be together.

Somehow, the expression on your face must have shown your realization, for his own countenance shifted to one of understanding. His smile was gone but he wasn’t frowning. He was looking at you in a whole new light.

The moment broke when you thoughtlessly glanced at his lips. His perfect, pink lips that he constantly licked and bit. He pulled back slightly, not breaking eye-contact.

You didn’t have to speak but you did anyway. Barely a whisper.

“Spencer . . .”

“We can’t. I’m—”

“I know.”

But you continued staring at each other. You decided to test the waters by leaning in ever so slightly. His eyes widened but he didn’t protest or back away. But it wasn’t a ‘yes’.

Your lips were inches apart, slightly open, the two of you breathing heavily.

“Just for tonight,” you said, brushing your mouth against his ever so gently, barely making contact, but just enough to force a soft moan from his throat.

“Y/N . . . we really can’t.”

“Spencer.” You took his hand firmly in yours. “Just for tonight. Once. No more. And we can forget about it.”

It was a lie and you both knew it. If you kissed, not as part of some plan or distraction technique, but for real, neither of you would ever forget it.

“Just for tonight?”

You nodded, placing a delicate hand on his cheek, making him gasp so softly, leaning into it.

“Just for tonight. Once.”

“Just for tonight.”

And he closed the gap between you, your lips meeting in a surge of fire and sparks. The kiss went through you, echoing in your bones. He was electricity against you. He was light.

His lips slowly pressed against yours and he ran his tongue along your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open so he could delve deeper. It was more than a kiss. It was the release of all the tension and feelings that had built up over the few weeks you’d known him. You tried with all your might to convey the love you felt for him, biting his lips, pulling his hair, and yanking him closer to you.

Neither of you wanted to break it. You’d said only once. The moment it was over . . . it would be over.

But soon you were both out of breath, mouths hanging open against one another, too scared to pull away to see the others' reaction.

Simultaneously, you pulled back, staring at each other, trying to analyze your reactions. A slight smile found its way to your lips, provoking Spencer to share in it.

You wanted to lean in again. To say ‘fuck it’ and have him right here, right now, in this bed. To have all of him and give him all of you. But you’d said only once. Just for tonight.

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

And you turned around, snuggling into him as you had before. Only this time, there was more to it. More than could be described with words.

You’d said ‘just for tonight’, probably hoping that it would somehow apply to the feelings you had as well. Come morning, you would discover that wasn’t how love worked. That wasn’t how love worked at all.

~

Taglist: @aperrywilliams @mjloveskids666 @dolanfivsosxox @criesinreid @fanficsrmylife @racerparker @sammypotato67 @lukeskisses @reidcrimes @you-had-me-at-hello-dear @l0ve-0f-my-life @thatsonezesty13 @yourmisosoup @queenofthebees003 @pinkdiamond1016 @matthewreid @perverted-guardian-angel @boiled-onionrings @rainsong01 @the-lovely-emma-swan @andiebeaword @itsmoony @cielo1984 @baby-i-am-fireproof @mendesminimuffin @fukyouthink

[unpopularly-opinionated]

FINALLY FINISHED NARUTO AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Honestly, and this might sound harsh, but I think I give the series overall a 6/10. Being generous, I’d say it’s maybe a 7/10, but I’m deducting one point because I’m almost positive the only reason I’d rate it that high is because despite all it’s flaws, after watching 720 episodes across two series and 10 movies, you’re just going to be attached to the characters and show regardless of how you feel about it.

I know it’s super popular, or was anyways, and I can absolutely see why, but there were just too many issues that bothered me personally. It’s frustrating because I want to like it, I really do. There’s so many elements at work here that are so just perfectly me that it’s almost weird that I don’t like it, but I don’t. Obviously I liked it enough to spend hours upon hours watching it, but I think I just kept expecting it to get better at some point, and that point never happened.

More about my issues with it below...

I don’t know how to frame this (I never do) so it’s mostly just off the cuff.

I’ll start with the easily dismissible criticisms, the movies. Obviously all but one of the movies are non-canon (and I’ll get to the canon one shortly...), and they’re made by other studios so it’s not entirely fair to criticize the series based on them. I’m far too used to this weird format from Pokemon and their non-canon movies, so it wasn’t a huge deal to me. I will say that, much like the Pokemon films, almost all of the Naruto films followed the same exact format: Naruto goes to a location we’ve never heard of before and will never hear of again and is forced to protect someone abrasive and annoying until the enemy is defeated and they become BFFs that we’ll never see or hear from again.

I’d say, in order from best to worst:

Road to Ninja - Naruto the Movie

Naruto the Movie 2: Legend of the Stone of Gelel

Naruto Shippuden: The Movie 3: Inheritors of the Will of Fire

Naruto Shippuden: The Movie - Bonds

Naruto Shippuden: The Lost Tower

Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow

Naruto Shippuden: The Movie

Naruto the Movie 3: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom

Naruto Shippuden the Movie: Blood Prison

The Last: Naruto the Movie

Yes, you read that right. The one canonical movie I put in dead last. Originally I thought that position was reserved for Blood Prison, which offended me because of just how utterly contrived the plot was and how out of character everyone needed to act to get it moving. But somehow, The Last took last place because of just how bad of a movie it was that for some reason has the audacity to be canon. And look, I know why it’s canon. It’s where Naruto and Hinata ‘officially’ get together and it ‘explains’ some missing plot elements from the series (more on that...), so of course it’s canon.

But come the fuck on, the last movie in the franchise, the one canonical movie, the one that may or may not take place after the Great Shinobi War, I.E. the big final battle of the series, has Naruto going into the fucking hollow earth through a cave portal that takes him to the moon, which is falling because the man on the moon is an incel and hates earth? What kind of methamphetamines were the writers on for that one. The Hinata and Naruto bits were fine, but holy fuck was that plot bad. They may as well have put Naruto in a spaceship and sent him to Mars to fight Martian Shinobi, I mean if we’ve already crossed the line, why not run a marathon beyond it.

The movie was meant to explain away a one-off line made in the series, that admittedly I did sit and ponder whether or not they’d ever explain it, about the Sage of Six Path’s brother, Homura, who went to go live on the moon after they defeated their mother Kaguya. It was mentioned so briefly and only once that I thought for sure it wasn’t ever going to be brought up again. I also wondered where Byakugan came from since we’d gotten an explanation for Sharingan and Rennigan during the series, but never for Byakugan. I actually don’t mind the explanation that it came from Homura’s bloodline, I think that tracks well enough. The man on the moon bit was...odd, but when I thought of how strong Homura was, I didn’t think much of it. I actually thought he somehow was going to still be alive and he’d come down to earth after they defeated Kaguya, but that never happened.

Here’s the rub though, and one of my issues with the series as a whole, which is that the show seemed to keep writing itself into these weird corners where they’d be forced to do something completely nonsensical, purely because they were the ones who wrote them into those corners. It would’ve been simpler to just say all visual jutsu was derived from Kaguya’s power, or the Homura died so there’s no man on the moon, or that Tsunade died so Kekashi needs to become Hokage, etc. They didn’t have to write themselves into these scenarios, but they did anyway and the end result was them having to write complete and utter nonsense to rationalize why they did it in the first place.

Kekashi becoming Hokage doesn’t really make any sense, like at all. They literally bisected Tsunade during the war but willed her back to life when they could’ve just as easily killed her then and there since she’s largely irrelevant to the rest of the series after the war, and then it would’ve made more sense why Kekashi, the man who on numerous occasions said he didn’t want to be Hokage, would then be forced to become Hokage as he’d be the next strongest (eligible) shinobi after Tsunade. I feel like it was all meant to be a payoff to Obito’s dying words to Kekashi which told him to become Hokage, which even then I found myself asking why the fuck would he say that? Kekashi almost was Hokage once before and was so relieved when Tsunade woke up from her coma so he wouldn’t have to.

Also can we talk about how bad that final episode was? I mean don’t get me wrong, it was cutesy as fuck and actually brought a tear to my eye (when Naruto asked Iruka to be his dad I fucking lost it, I won’t lie), but they cut it off before the wedding? Before the aftermath? Before he becomes Hokage? Like I understand Boruto exists, but I don’t feel like that’s a justifiable excuse for ending your long-running series on merely the assumption that he’ll become Hokage in the future. Maybe if the show was a whole 500 episodes shorter I’d be comfortable with it ending on a vague, yet hopeful ending, but when I’ve spent fuck knows how many hours on this series you bet your ass I’m expecting some mother fucking payoff.

Also do not even get me started on Sasuke. What. The. Fuck?!?!? My guy literally just sends a note via carrier pigeon to the wedding? That’s it? Did I just fucking hallucinate the last 720 episodes or wasn’t Sasuke supposed to be like the second main character??? The absolute absurdity.

This isn’t even much of a comparison because it’s so much shorter than Naruto, but it’s all I got in the moment, but imagine if at the end of Return of the Jedi, Han Solo just decides to fucking dip. He’s just not there. He and Chewie hopped into the Millennium Falcon the moment the Death Star was destroyed and just dipped. No longer in the movie, just gone. Didn’t say anything to Luke or Leia, just up and left. That would be insane.

It’s even more offensive knowing him and Sakura end of together. My. Fucking. Gods. This has been the relationship I’d been dreading since the start when it became abundantly clear they weren’t doing even the barest minimum to actually establish a relationship between them. As it is, when I watched The Last, I thought to myself: “Well, Naruto and Hinata’s relationship hasn’t been the most well-developed relationship I’ve seen, but it’s still leagues better than whatever hatchet job they’re going to pull to convince me Sasuke and Sakura end up together”. We didn’t even get the hatchet job. That’s just how little of a shit they gave. They did not even bother pretending to give any explanation as to how I’m supposed to believe they end up together. I’m quite literally just supposed to believe it because I know it will happen. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, it’s just something that is and therefor I must accept it. Absolutely ridiculous. As it stands, the show gave us more reasons why Sakura and Lee should end up together than they did for her and Sasuke. Fuck, I’d even buy Sakura and Inu before I’d buy Sakura and Sasuke.

I could go on, I really could, but it’s late and I’m just looking forward to putting this behind me. At some point, probably not too soon, I will watch Boruto. As it is, my watch schedule is pretty thoroughly booked up for a while. I can’t foresee myself ever watching this again. I know I sound harsh on it, but I wanna reemphasize that I want to like this show. It’s not a show I think is bad period, it’s a good show I think was just done rather poorly. It all felt very off-the-cuff, much like this shitty review. I don’t know what the manga-to-adaptation pipeline looked like when the show was live, but clearly something got fucked up somewhere.  This really feels like the Fullmetal Alchemist to Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and I can’t help but want Naruto to get the Brotherhood treatment...if such a treatment even exists.

[wrathfulmercy]

Plotted starter for @emeryfleming

It was not the first time Rick was crossing the girls path in the night they investigated for a murderer lurking around the prostitutes. He had seen the blonde one around that asshole Clifton, one of those lawyers who appeared sleek on the outside, but definitely smelled like a walking daddy issue. Since Rick was one of the leading investigators in all kinds of purest evil, it wasn’t the first time that he was facing victims or their lawyers in court, but with the time he was struggling more and more to keep his emotional distance to these cases. Especially when he ran into them on the streets to see them in their worst shape.

While Lori was alive it was easier to focus his urge to protect and help on his wife, especially after he found out about her affair with the asshole Shane Walsh which just triggered his protectiveness even more. But then his whole life changed within one night and everything that could have distracted him from being too involved, suddenly fell apart.

He wasn’t able to distance himself from cases anymore. Not able to fight or judge criminals when he was the one who committed a murder himself and even if he somehow switched the sides of the law by killing someone out of revenge, his morals weighed still too heavy on his shoulders that he just couldn’t stay in his former position anymore.

After quitting the job at the police and taking over Shane’s former position as a leader of his “saviors” group, he tried to move away from the petty crimes which focused on quick money and rather set their motivation on revenge, especially when it came to protecting children and women. Finally he didn’t have to think about stupid paperwork anymore or about rules which were set in stone and often forced him to release people without having enough proofs. Finally it was him to decide who was guilty and who wasn’t and even if he didn’t plan on running into the blonde girl again after seeing her last at the crime scene months ago, she suddenly stepped into the coffee place where he sat with his capos after finishing their last meeting.

The sun had already set, but the lightbulbs hanging above the counter shined perfectly in her face as she leaned over, despite her desperate try of hiding under a hood. A grin crossed Ricks lips and he lifted his hand to make his helpers shut up. “Bring her to my place. She’s from fucking Clif.” Yeah, he remembered the case pretty well from back then and how anxious she looked around him. She still had those same empty eyes, telling you wordlessly everything about her torture even if she tried to seem tough on the outside. She was obviously in a rush, her head always looking back over her shoulder so Rick had to be quick before she was gone again. “I’ll wait at home.” he mumbled and placed a one hundred dollar note on the table to pay and then left the place to sit down in the back of his black Mercedes waiting with his chauffeur.

Things like these weren’t Ricks part of the game, he actually considered himself more as the mastermind leading the group instead of getting his hands dirty himself and he preferred to be not recognized or connected to their group since he was still too well known at the police. Of course he had some connections to his old station, cops are greedy bastards as well, but it wasn’t worth the risk and so Shane’s nickname “Diablo” just changed into “Blue” for Rick and people only saw his face when it got personal, but in this cases it was probably the first and last time they saw the blue shining.

That’s why Daryl and Abraham, the two highest capos of the group, did his dirty work and in this case it included bringing Emery to the big cellar of his own mansion. Her hands were tied up and her eyes blindfolded as Rick gestured at the ground to let the two men push her on her knees and released the fabric covering her eyes.

It was only a small light coming in from a window protected by bars at the top, but the blue eyes facing her should be still clear as ever as he started to speak. “Miss Fleming. I apologize for the hard treatment of my boys, they seem harsh sometimes but they purr as soon as I would tell them to, so there’s nothing to fear.” With a grin he hunkered down in front of her, his covered hand reaching out for her face to rest the strains of her hair behind her ear. “You might not remember me and I tell you that’s absolutely fine. But from now on you stand under my protection and that’s why I brought you here. My name shouldn’t matter in this case, you can call me Blue or boss or however you please. Just know that I mean no harm, you had enough of that already, didn’t you?” With his hands covered in black leather gloves he flipped and made Daryl lean down to reach out for her cuffed hands. “I can tell my friend D to open these, but only if you behave. Then we can have a dinner and you can ask all the questions you have. So... can I expect your compliance here, Miss Evergreen?”

[thumb3l1n4]

Thoughts on chapter #293 (AKA a very long post)

I made a post when chapter #292 came out and one person replied with "I love how everyone thinks that villain stans automatically agree with and condone the villains' actions". I don't think myself to be a villain stan, although I do love Horikoshi's villains, since they're all amazingly interesting characters. There are villains that I feel very compassionate to: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Spinner and Toga. And I could instantly relate to Stain's philosophy, while being totally turned off by his actions. I don't think villain stans condone the violent actions of their favorite characters, I'm sorry if my previous post made people believe I do. But from the most recent releases I gathered that there is maybe a small fraction of villain stans that aren't really seeing the intricacies of the full picture. I don't mean this in a bad way: this is definitely the villains' time to shine and I know we were all waiting for the big Dabi-Endeavor showdown since theories were thrown around, so it's normal to be hyper-focused in what our favorite character is doing or what's happening with them. It's easy to forget that there are times and places where it's safe to show our compassion. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda annoyed that some villain stans seem to want the heroes to show compassion to Dabi right now, while they're in the middle of a battle that would decide the sorts of their society. Thanks to Dabi's speech, the civilian's faith in their "picture-perfect" system is crumbling (well, I hope so, because their society sucks on so many levels) and Best Jeanist, who was bashed for absolutely no reason all over Twitter last week, before the official translation was out, knew that that was Dabi's intention all along. Tōya could have told his own story right after Stain's video came out, if he so wanted. He chose to join the League, instead, because as we know now, he might have thought that he would have a better chance to kill Shōto, that way. I can't blame Tōya AT ALL for wanting and needing to see Endeavor, finally, rightfully, punished. However, Dabi throwing the compassion card around in the middle of a life-and-death situation (a situation where his main end-goal is to hurt people), is just peak manipulation...

... Which is awesome for a villain!

It's less awesome if you're standing on the Heroes' side and you're hearing about all the years of abuse that a colleague of yours put his family through, for the first time. I want to note that not a single Hero, till now, has said that they do not believe Dabi (not that I recall, at least). I saw one comment on Tumblr saying they didn't like that Best Jeanist used the word "dirty laundry", the chapter before, but I don't think the Hero said it in disrespect. I think it had more to do with Dabi's intentions behind revealing his truth, than Best Jeanist not believing him, or worse, dismissing him as a victim. Dabi's truth was called "dirty laundry" because Tōya didn't use it to seek justice, for himself and his family, but rather to get revenge on everyone, to create chaos and to excuse his own criminal actions. It's a truth tainted by hatred, not in the sense that fans of the manga and the Heroes should just forget about it: his past and pain are very, very real and Dabi and the rest of the villains need help. But the Heroes cannot take the time to feel sorry for their enemies, right at this moment, because if they do, that's the end. That's kinda what happened between Toga and Uraraka: she needs to stop Toga because while hurting people might come natural to the villain, that's not a healthy way to live. Toga didn't ask to be the way she is, and as a Hero, it should be Uraraka's job to give her the chance to get the treatment she didn't get as a child, that would teach Toga how to deal with her natural urges in a way that is not harmful to anyone. Mind you, Toga didn't seem to like the idea of conforming herself to anyone else's expectations, so she might not want the therapy. Uraraka would still need to give her all to stop the villain, no matter how sorry she actually feels inside for her.

If the villains win, the Heroes will not be able to rectify their society. Only after this fight ends and villains are taken into custody, it would be safe for the Heroes to show their honest reactions to Dabi's revelation. Only then we can hope to see them caring for the villains' health and their truths and possibly demand that Endeavor turns himself in (I actually want him to do so on his own, without external input). The Heroes aren't being heartless, if that's what some villain stans are thinking. They simply do no have the luxury to let Dabi's words manipulate them into feeling bad for him during a fight, because innocent people's lives are at stake here and just because Tōya had a horrible childhood, it doesn't mean that he's gonna care and let those innocent people be. Dabi wants to see the WHOLE world burn.

Onto Deku, now, the second character in two weeks accused by some, of being an abuse apologist.

He's the first character EVER to confront Endeavor on his treatment of Shōto, after seeing how his own classmate was spiralling and hurting himself, because Shōto didn't want to use HIS OWN Quirk to prevent himself from quite literally freeze to death, all because of Endeavor's abuse.

Deku has always wanted to follow All Might's steps and like All Might, he wishes to be able to save everyone in need. Toshinori, however, already told him that that's not realistic and Deku accepted the fact that he can only save the people in need that he's able to reach and as we saw with Shōto, Kota and Eri, he's ready to lay out his own life and break every single bone in his body to do so. He's so determined to save people, even against the worst of odds, that he can twist fate. I think it's exactly this determination of his that made him speak out this time, not only for Shōto, but for Endeavor, too. Do I like that Deku cares? Yes, I'm glad that people like Deku exist, people that genuinely care and wish and pray for criminals to regret what they've done so they can have a chance to right their wrongs and become a better person. Do I think Deku would stop Endeavor from turning himself in or defend Endeavor in front of the other Heroes so they don't take him away and bring him to justice? I might be wrong, Horikoshi can still make a fool out of me, but I don't think so. Deku knows the years of abuse are there and they will never go away. Deku is also the guy who told off Natsuo for trying to make Shōto feel resentful towards their father, when Shōto was somewhat past that and only wanted to heal. Deku recognized that the siblings have all different ways to deal with trauma and told Natsuo that his feelings are valid, but he can't push them onto Shōto, because Shōto's feelings on the matter are just as valid, even if they don't align with those of his big brother.

Just like villain stans can feel compassion towards Dabi because of his past, while being repulsed by his criminal actions in the present, Deku can feel repulsed by Endeavor's abuse of his own family and still see that a part of him (no matter how little it is) wishes to be a better human being. Deku didn't say that Endeavor should be automatically forgiven for his past actions, no one can deny that the abuse still has serious repercussions for every Todoroki involved (yes. EVERY). But the thing with Deku is that once he's seen this tiny, barely-even-there, light in you, he will fight to save you. I don't think that the people calling Deku an abuse apologist are giving his intuition or insight enough credit.

Dabi's not Endeavor: this means that Deku hasn't seen anything in this fight that might hint to Tōya wanting to be saved. Again, the same thing happened between Toga and Uraraka. And sadly, even Twice and Hawks (Hawks miscalculated sooo bad there). It's unfortunate that phrases like "you can only save someone if they want to be saved" and "you cannot help someone who refuses to be helped" still apply to this world, but that's the ugly truth and I'm sure that to someone like Deku that's a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. Endeavor said he wants to right his wrongs: in my opinion, he's still got a lot of work to do, since he should have really started it all off by being honest to everyone about his actions and let justice do its course. During this battle I'm forced to recognize (like Deku does) that Endeavor might actually be able to reedem himself, after actually atoning for his crimes. I cannot say the same for Dabi, because he doesn't want to atone for the bad things he has done. I didn't see Deku's speech as him excusing Endeavor's abuse to his victim or conceding the point to Tōya, that Heroes don't care about villains. I saw it as Deku telling Dabi to stop using his own abuse as an excuse to hurt other victims (Shōto, Natsuo, Fuyumi and Rei) because as harsh as it sounds, Tōya can't demand compassion for his own pain while being uncapable of showing compassion to his own little brother. Maybe Tōya doesn't actually know everything that Shōto has suffered through, maybe he thinks that his little brother got lucky with his Quirk and didn't have it as bad as he did. That's not his place to say. Dabi is making a contest out of their family's pain, trying to declare which Todoroki got it worse (clearly believing that it's him and that that allows him to do whatever he wants to, now), so I reiterate: he can't ask for compassion in the middle of the battle and the Heroes are actually doing the right thing, not letting themselves being manipulated like that and basically forfeiting the fight.

AFTER this arc ends, I truly hope to see the Heroes showing their compassion for the villains. I hope they would get rid of that obnoxious Hero Ranking and that the society would stop festering the idea that only certain Quirks and their users are strong and valuable and deserving of a voice. I hope they could change their world so that people like Tenko, Tōya, Jin, Himiko and Shuichi are able to ask for help AND BE HELPED before it is too late.

[diffuserlover]

Hello! Can I get Stray Kids, ATEEZ, and NCT ship? 💚

Appearance: She/her. 179cm tall, rectangle body shape. Fair skin complexion with quite a few birthmarks. Dyed dark brown-reddish, past shoulder-length, straight hair with bangs. The left eye is a mix of two colors – a smaller portion of (darker) greyish-blue and a larger portion of hazel; while the right eye is just a (lighter) greyish-blue. Heptagon face shape with two dimples on the left cheek and one on the right cheek (only visible while smiling). A gap between the upper front teeth.

Personality (good and bad traits): Ever since I was a kid, I was always quite mature for my age – I identify myself as an old soul. I come off as polite and well-mannered to strangers, yet I tend to keep it to myself by being reserved. But, that’s because I have social anxiety and I’m nervous and shy when meeting/talking to people. The only people I’m comfortable with being with my inner circle – closest friends and family. I am usually more “open” with my friends than with my family. With my friends I can be my “truest-self” – I smile more, I laugh more, I feel more accepted and understood. I am the mom and the fashionista of the group. Don’t get me wrong, I am fiercely protective of my family, especially of my mother and younger sister. But, lately, I’ve been feeling like the “black sheep” of the family, Cinderella who’s been taken advantage of. I express my affection for the people I care about in little, but practical, ways. I can be a little stiff when it comes to open, gushy displays of affection. Others turn to me for help and advice. I’m kind-hearted and generous, always ready to help a person in need. Always have been motherly towards children. Very awkward at keeping small talk (usually with people that I’m not that close with). Absolutely, hate speaking in front of a public, and if I do, because of my nervousness, I tend to mess up my words and/or I practice whatever I’m about to say in my head at first. I appreciate the simplicity and am often most comfortable when I’m not getting too much attention from the world. I am sensitive – both to criticism and to others’ feelings (I sponge up the feelings and moods of people and the environment around me). Have a hard time saying no or expressing my true thoughts, feelings. I get influenced by other people’s opinions/thoughts quite hard (I take everything to the heart), that is why I tend to keep a lot to myself (may come off as a little bit tense, secretive, mysterious). I avoid the harsh reality by daydreaming (almost every day) – imagining myself in situations far from my current circumstances. Sort of like a self-escape. I worry a lot and overthink almost everything. I am easily distracted and my attention span can be quite short. I have an internal struggle between my needs and wants. I can lack focus and be indecisive as a result – when I decide on one route, I am pulled in another direction at the same time (“But what if…”, “on the other hand...”). That is why I’m having a bit of a struggle with deciding what I want to do in the future (career-wise). I am easily overwhelmed by pressure and stress. There is a self-destructive side to me (self-critical, lack of self-confidence) that I’m working on by confronting my fears (coming out of my shell). Don’t like taking pictures, or other people taking pictures of me. I feel most content when I’ve straightened out all the details of everyday life. I have a routine, that I follow by mostly every day, and if something small changes in that routine, I start to have a small internal anxiety attack. Also, I like to do things my own way, like, when it comes to cleaning the house or organizing stuff, etc. I get triggered even if people don’t do the laundry the way I do. I guess you could describe me as a perfectionist, clean/control freak. In triggering situations I can be impulsive, spontaneous, quick to act. Quick flare-ups of anger/annoyance when being provoked on my patience. Even when I’m feeling low, I manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever I do have. Although I tend to bottle things up, I am an emotional person and my emotions are genuine – I love and care deeply and passionately and wish no ill will upon anyone, yet it hards for me to imagine someone falling in love with me or just liking me.

Hobbies, likes: My hobbies are cleaning, writing (re-writing song lyrics, making small notes, writing stories), listening to any type of music, catching up on my favorite films and TV shows, hanging out with friends, going to the cinema, or the club, being out in nature, reading, traveling. I like history, cooking, fashion magazines (or fashion in general), road trips, spirituality, mythology, books, orange juice, previous decades, cottage-core, dark academia.

Overall: Hufflepuff. INFP-T. Bi-sexual. Pisces-Aries cusp sign. “Looks like could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.” A feminist, support LGBTQ+ community. That’s it, thank you!

Hii! Thank you so much for requesting!! I hope you like your ships!! I got a little carried away so sorry it’s a little long:)

Stray Kids:

I ship you with...

Chan

He is very comforting and knows how to get to you😚

Whenever you are overthinking or overwhelmed he can tell🥲

He will sit you down and try to get you to talk about your feelings with him or he would take you out somewhere to distract you from whatever is overwhelming you💗

He would understand your perfectionist side and always makes sure that everything is perfect for you😁

He keeps you updated with his schedule if it ever changes because he knows how much you like a regular schedule 🥰

You guys probably share a calendar so all of your events are in one space☺️

He finds it so cute how polite and kinda nervous you were when you first met🤩

He always supports you and your goals for coming out of your shell, he is always so proud whenever you do😇

Chan helps you as much as he can when finding something you want to do career wise but due to the amount of stress it gives you I would say it causes some arguments🥲

He would never let the public see you and if your relationship ever gets released he is never saying your name or showing any photos because you knows you don’t like to be in the public eye😭🥰

He is beaming whenever he sees you with kids🥺

You guys are like the mom and dad of stray kids😊

He likes to take you to the studio and work on songs together for fun🤗

You guys go on walks a lot together to just look at the scenery 😌

He never watches shows or movies without you😋

You guys cook together a lot, you guys always have fun it’s not too serious while cooking😆

Extroverts and Introverts go best with each other 🙂

Chan reassures you a lot that he loves you and that he is so grateful to have you in his life☺️

Overall, you and Chan have the sweetest relationship. You guys are literally perfect together🥰

ATEEZ:

I ship you with...

Seonghwa

You and Seonghwa are both perfectionist😊

You guys have a schedule and certain ways of cleaning 🤗

You clean together to make it more fun😚

Wooyoung most likely makes fun of you for it😆🤣

Seonghwa I feel is really good at listening and you can tell he is really listening when you look into his eyes😍

He gets butterflies whenever you are with children he just finds it so cute 🥺😭

He appreciates how you leave little notes in his bag telling him sweet things, he always tries to give you little notes as well😇

Seonghwa is always considerate of your feelings 🥰

Extroverts and introverts go best together🙂

He treats you a lot even if that means just buying the food at the cinema he will do it🤗

When he knows you have had a long day he will cook for you😄

If he has had the worst day or if he is super tired he might just give you the silent treatment, you might have to physically ask him if he’s okay😬

He likes to sit down and have a meal with you 😊

I feel like you both don’t have much patience and kinda lash out on each other but it’s never something super serious😚

Seonghwa absolutely adores your smile and you always find something to laugh about😁

Overall you and Seonghwa have a real connection🥺

NCT ot23:

I ship you with...

Xiaojun

He is so sweet but he also silly😆

You guys are in the studio a lot☺️

He likes to play the guitar for you, you guys have written quite a lot of songs together 🥰

You guys have a lot of nights in just watching movies and cooking together😄

He loves your laugh so much it makes him smile just thinking about it😍

He understands how you like a schedule and doesn’t want to mess it up when something comes up, he always makes sure to call you or text you when he can to tell you😭🤗

He tries not to overwhelm you with his problems cause he feels bad but he also wants to talk to you about it, he has a hard time deciding😚

Xiaojun always makes sure you okay before checking on himself😇

He would never be as kind to his members than he is with you😂💀

Xiaojun loves his snacks, you guys go shopping at least 2 times a week so he can get his snacks🤣

He loves writing with you because he loves to see the passion in your eyes🥰

He studies the way you clean the house because if he ever wants to do it he doesn’t want to get it wrong😆

I don’t think Xiaojun is really into physical affection so I feel like he would be fine without heavy amounts of it😁

He loves how kind you are☺️

He labors to mess around and do anything to make you laugh or smile🙂

Overall you and Xiaojun are really cute and fun🤩

[crossdressingdeath]

Tired of people arguing that JC only being able to communicate his emotions through anger is a direct result of abuse which is made to mean that it's an absolute that he has no power on and that everyone should work around. As someone who used to be a rage monster, I can say with certitude that there is no inevitable consequences here as much as there is no direct being abused to being an abuser or treat people badly pipeline. While he was clearly raised in an abusive family and our behavior1/7

is shaped by things that happened to us, our own choices, inclinations and ethics play a big, if not a bigger role, in determining our reactions to those events because being a victim of abuse or any other heinous act doesn't get to determine who you are as a person (only in a legal sense, maybe), but our subsequent actions in reaction to that do. Did JC learn acting out in anger by imitating YZY? Probably. But can we really argue that he was totally blind, being a victim of this himself,2/7

about how her actions hurt those around her and wrecked her family? Should we feel bad for judging a person shaped by abuse or are we judging someone who was hurt in a cruel way and then chose to do the exact same thing to others, knowing how much it hurts? Even in the story itself between JYL, WWX and JC, only JC acts out in this way because it's actually a sign of the special position he had in the family. Have JYL or WWX ever been free to get angry at how anyone treat them or storm off or3/7

scream "people are not paying enough attention to me/love me enough" when they felt like it, and they certainly must often felt like it between JYL just being ignored an dismissed most of the time (how does she feel about her lack of skills and beauty being perpetually mocked even by her own fiancé?) and WWX, the orphan who was caught in everyone's crossfire, without an official position, and YZY hating him? But JC had people to follow him and console him when he storms off, people to try4/7

and understand what he really means by his actions and rude words (a courtesy JC never extends for a single second to WWX post-Sunshot frex) with JYL and WWX being stuck doing all the emotional labor in their relationship with him. He was only free to learn to use anger as his main communication tool because he was in the privileged position to be able to express himself freely in the first place while JYL and WWX had to learn to smile and shut up and endure. He remains blissfully ignorant5/7

of the fact while not willfully blind to it, expecting people around him to always put his emotions in the first place over theirs as his due. And even outside of relative roles in the abusive family--because if JYL switched places with JC, she might have turned into a slightly different person, but she would never in million years act like JC does--it's also a moral decision that abuse victims and anyone else really who have had bad things happen to them have to make, and a decision that is6/7

going to shape the very core of their personalities, which is who is going to feel the effects of this hurt, everyone around me or only myself? Do others deserve to be hurt because I'm hurting? Have I a right to hurt only people who are the direct cause or vaguely related people who are easier to hurt? With characters like JGY or XY and so many others, and WWX and JC here through a familial lens, it's even a central theme in the story.7/7 

Was JC abused? Yes. Did that have an impact on his personality? Also yes. Should we feel bad for what happened to him? Absolutely. But does that justify how he treats the people around him? Not a chance!

You’re right, he does know how much cruel words hurt people. He even knows how it hurts his siblings; he’s right there watching when YZY lays into them half the time! He should be well aware that harsh words spoken angrily don’t make anyone feel loved. And yet he turns around and lashes out at WWX and JL and everyone else who gets near just like how YZY lashed out at him.

And you make an excellent point; JC did have the “privilege” of being able to respond to his treatment with anger, to storm around and throw tantrums over not being the centre of attention, to demand everyone comfort him, pay attention to him, put him first, in a way his siblings never could. Can you even imagine how YZY would react if WWX demanded praise for his actions? If JYL wanted to be the centre of attention? They had to just sit there and take it without a word. JC might get yelled at and put down (and I’m not suggesting that was okay!), but JYL got as bad as he did for failing miserably at a task just for peeling some lotus seeds for her brother. WWX got whipped for offences that got JC a slap on the wrist. I’m not saying JC didn’t suffer, but I do think he refuses to consider how lucky he was to be the sect heir, to be free of the worst of YZY’s temper. The worst he had to deal with was a lecture and being put down; YZY frequently whipped his brother and reminded him of how lucky he was that his parents’ best friend wasn’t okay with leaving him to starve. JYL’s position as a bargaining chip for YZY to give to her friend to bind them together was made explicitly clear to her her entire childhood. JC wasn’t treated well, but he never had to worry that he would be whipped or sold off in marriage. In their family, he was lucky. But he only sees that he suffered, and he turns that on everyone around him, including the siblings that had it even worse than he did.

It is interesting that there are so many examples of characters using their suffering as an excuse to make anyone with even the vaguest relation to the cause of it suffer in return. XY, JGY... they’re always the bad guys. They’re not in the right. We’re not supposed to think they’re in the right. And then on the other side we’ve got WWX, our hero, whose philosophy boils down to “live and let live” even against the same people who hurt him. JC in this regard acts far more like the villains than the heroes. Funny how that turns out.

[mcsmmafia]

MC:SM Mafia - Round VI 🧠

THE 6TH ROUND OF MAFIA

On a chilling, but not yet snowy december day, a bus drived through the thickness of the swamp to transport eight patients to a asylum to which they have been relocated.

It was a confusing swamp… trees and vines everywhere, no proper roads… but the occupants felt confident that this was no problem for the driver. He was experienced… probably. I mean, he was responsible for the safe arrival of mentally ill patients, of course they wouldn't assign an intern with such an important task, right?

Anyway, the trip lasted the whole night, but just as the sun was rising, you finally arrived at the new asylum! … Which turned out to be a surprisingly old and bedraggled looking mansion? Geesh, talking about healthcare inequality.

Anyway, even though it was not snowing, the trees had frost on their leafs and the wind blew really cold, so you made your way inside without thinking about it too much. And thank goodness, it was actually warm inside! Ah, and there stood the receptionist, a girl with long red hair and a grey, comfortable looking beanie. You went on to line up - but suddenly, the girl turned around and activated a lever on the wall behind her. Huh? What was that all abou-

AND THEN IT WAS DARK AND YOU COULDN'T SEE AND OH MY GOSH I THINK I'M SEEING PUMPKIN FACES AND THERE WERE VOICES TOO, WE'RE ALL HEARING VOICES-

Oh, wait, that might actually be just your own voice… ahh, wait, you got a pumpkin stuck on your head! Well, how did that happen?? You sure didn't know!

… wait WHY ARE WE ALL WEARING PUMPKINS, WHAT IS GOING ON, WE CAN'T GET RID OF THEM, AHHHHH!!!!!

Meanwhile, it seemed like the red haired girl was trying desperately to announce something, but nobody would listen to her. She gave us a very annoyed glance and, in the next second, she put herself in a pumpkin too. And it didn't took a second for everyone to forget where the stranger was.

Dear patients, it is time.

To freak out.

AND-

GET REALITY AND HALLUCINATIONS MIXED UP AND BE EXTRA PARANOID AND PANIC!!!! A LOT!!!!

Oh, and also maybe you should watch out for stranger-danger.

☀ Results of Day 1:

After the patients were done freaking out, they played a nice little introducing game of saying hello to each other, but became bored quickly afterwards, so they split up to explore their new home on their own - I mean, they don't remember which one of them was the receptionist, so there was no other option really.

(Just for fun, I thought about why the MC:SM characters were in psychatric treatment in the first place for a bit: Stella has overwhelming seperation fear, Warden is not really mentally ill but a stalker, Nell has chronic fatigue syndrome, Harper has schizophrenia, Radar is not a patient but the bus driver XD, Ellegaard has bipolar affective disorder, Cassie is still a murderer, and Lukas has depression. (Sorry, Lukas, I couldn't think of any other interesting disorders 😂)

🌑 Results of Night 1:

Lluna wanted to stay in the entrance hall to monitor the front door. When Ellegaard and Lukas joined, Lluna noticed only an iron weapon in the room, so Stella knew she could trust her roommates and told them that she has the Flint & Steel. When she learned that Ellegaard has the iron sword, she asked for protection and stayed in the entrance hall to groom Lluna all night.

Warden ran after Winslow to pet him, and ended up in the attic, where he finally could give that good lil' boy Winslow a pet and happily fall asleep soon after professionally dabbing to his roommates.

Nell didn't have the energy to explore more than the surroundings of the living room, but when she spotted Radar entering, she decided the attic was probably a better place and used all her remaining energy to climb up there and hit the hay.

Harper desperately tried to outrun the creepy pumpkin faces she saw in all windows, and ended up in the attic, where there were no windows. Finally feeling safe, she was able to sink into a deep slumber.

After quickly peeking into every room to make sure nobody else was living in this mansion, Radar went back to the living room to sit down on the comfortable couch and spent the whole night trying to figure this blasted roadmap out…

Ellegaard did her best to protect Stella from stranger-danger.

CASSIE grinned when everybody decided to split up, so she wanted to make the best out of it and followed Warden and ordered Winslow to follow PAMA - but they all ended up in the attic together. Well, crud. With the night wasted, CASSIE decided to just grab her kitty and go to sleep.

Lukas didn't say anything to Stella's revelation, but didn't flee either; he just sat in a corner, silent all night.

☀ Results of Day 2:

The patients argued all day about who should cook breakfast. Before they knew, the sun was already setting, so everyone just grabbed whatever they saw first in the kitchen and scattered to find a good place to sleep. Very productively spent day.

Lukas has been suspended from the round due to inactivity.

🌒 Results of Night 2:

After Lluna reassured herself last night that the front door was indeed very safe and effective against the night monsters outside, she pushed Stella to go to an extra safe place to catch up on some sleep tonight, so she followed her to the attic. She was surprised to only see Radar there, but took the chance to ask for his identity. However, he did not respond… Stella eventually gave up asking and snuggled up to Lluna to visit the land of dreams.

Warden went to grab a snack like the others, but was disappointed by the insufficient selection… a few potatoes, some mushrooms… blergh! Where's the good stuff?? THEY DEMAND THEIR BREAKFAST CAKE! EVEN IF IT MEANS SEARCHING ALL NIGHT FOR IT!! 🍰 …However, they eventually got bored and fled to the gallery in hopes for more danger. (Little did they know that danger was coming right their way, had they only stayed!)

Oh great, Nell was already always tired, and now she's also gonna be hungry because nobody volunteered to cook the stupid breakfast! So, to conserve brain energy, she just went back to where she was last night and enjoyed her sleep in sweet solitude.

Harper couldn't shake the feeling of being closely watched by someone or something… she tried her best to hide her worries, but when night came, she skedaddled to the most isolated room she could find! …And, of course, that ended up being the gallery, because nobody cares for art, sigh. …But the feeling of being stalked remained - but now at last she realized where it was coming from: This weird calico cat in the corner over there with it's evil green eyes was watching her! What a creeper! 😼 She placed PAMA directly in front of Winslow to try and cover his glance, but this darned cat just walked around it. Welp, there was no way she would sleep with him around!

Oh gosh, everything is chaos… it's Radar's fault the patients are not safe in an asylum, and don't have regular meals, and now they can't stop arguing!! This is the absolute worst… and he was still really exhausted… maybe he should just go to sleep for a night. Perhaps, in the morning, things are gonna be better. So he chose a safe place to sleep, which of course only really can be the attic, and rested for a bit, after doing their best to ignore Stella's questions.

Oh my, Ellegaard was in full flow today! Was it the lack of sleep, or is she on her way to go hyper? Wherever this energy is coming from, it sure made her heat up the argument about breakfast today. Well, at least she snatched the only mushroom stew she found premade in the kitchen. Success! After being so harsh to everyone, however, she realized that she probably should try to calm down somewhere alone, so she went to the bed chamber. A big, nice pillow helps for meditation, you know? In fact, the pillows were so comfortable, ellegaard fell asleep almost immeditaly. That's how meditation works, right? 💤

CASSIE really had to contain herself to not burst out in laughter under her pumpkin mask when hearing the argument today. They're all distracting themselves, and CASSIE didn't even really have to do anything! Anyway, while the discussion was nicely heated, she had things to do. She needed to make sure that the next night would not be wasted! So she kept an eye on Warden to see where he would go this time. …And, as it turns out, he didn't go anywhere. He just stayed right here in the kitchen, searching for better food, CASSIE figured. So she ordered Winslow to patrol the hallway between gallery and bed-chamber and snuck up on Warden to cat-nap him… and was surprised when her hands could only grasp air! With the night wasted - again - she could only sleep her frustration away.

☀ Results of Day 3:

A new day dawned, and before anyone had the chance to address any hard feelings left over from yesterday, Harper spoke up to tell the patients that Winslow was following her everywhere she went. She also mentioned who else was in the room with her the past nights, skipping PAMA.

Stella then stated that she wanted to be locked up, and asked Harper to vote for herself too. Warden was quick to offer guarding them. Nobody else voted.

Warden also warned the group that he dabbed threateningly, and then tried to catch Winslow to throw him into the closet too, but he was fast to jump onto some high-laying shelf where Warden couldn't get him. 😼

🌓 Results of Night 3:

Stella had a hard time to going apart, but Lluna accomponied her all the way to the closet, and assured her with a bleat that she will reliably return in the morning to pick her up again. And she kept her word, to Stella’s great relief.

Warden regretted it a little to have volunteered as a guard, since he would rather do some detective word, but in the end he did not retreat from his duty and made sure to poke the prisoners the whole night through, even though he didn't really suspect them to be Cassie.

Nell just went to the living room again and slept like normal. She is really not afraid of traps.  

Harper was just glad to be safe from Winslow for one night, at least.

Radar took the chance and went to the entrance hall to see if there were any pets around. He could spot Lluna and PAMA, but also CASSIE - so he waited for a bit to see wheter CASSIE would leave and if one pet would go with her. As it turns out - Lluna and PAMA must belong to someone in the closet!

Ellegaard went back to the bed chamber, but when she saw that Winslow seemed to now be targeting her, she toyed with the idea of trying to figure out if she could activate a trap on Winslow - but of course, that grown kitty would be too smart to fall for his owner's traps. 😼 So Ellegaard dropped that plan and just climbed up to the attic instead.

CASSIE followed Radar - but of course he wouldn't go anywhere. CASSIE sighed in her streak of bad luck and sneaked away to the bed chamber to sleep.

☀ Results of Day 4:

Stella started the day by immediately confronting Warden about the sleeplessness-ordinance which he put her and Harper through, to which Warden apologized, stating that he didn't really suspected them to be Cassie.

Stella then went on to state that she suspects either Nell or CASSIE to be Cassie, since they are the only ones who haven't been checked by her best friend and pillow Lluna. Ellegaard vouched for this claim, only stating that she knew a thing.

Nell was about to vote Stella for the closet, but promptly retreated. Warden then voted to throw Nell out, stating that he is about 65% sure that Nell is Cassie, and 35% that it's CASSIE, which he subsequently voted into the closet.

Nell tried desperately to convince the others of her innocence, but had nobody who could vouch for her.

Stella voted for Nell to get thrown out too, but then retreated, saying that she wanted to lock her up first. CASSIE, Ellegaard and Harper agreed that there was not enough evidence yet. Harper then voted for the same thing.

(Oh my gosh, no offence to the person playing CASSIE, but I could hardly stop laughing about how they kept referring to Cassie and how nervous they were about her - and everybody just talked over that! I was so sure their cover would blow 😂😂😂)

🌔 Results of Night 4:

Stella realized that she has TWO arms, with which she was able to poke both Nell AND CASSIE at the same time! So she did that because IF STELLA COULDN'T SLEEP, THEY CAN'T EITHER! Also, it helped to distract her mind from Lluna and how she's doing.

Warden thought about sneaking to the closet and spawn-killing Nell… but realizing he had no weapon to do this anyway, he just went up to the attic and let the dream be a real dream.

Nell was really mad about being locked into a closet, and sang a song in order to try and annoy the guard so much that she would let her free - but was exhausted quickly and ended up just enduring the acupuncture. Stella really was NOT a great masseur.

Harper was paranoid when going to the gallery, but couldn't find a kitty anywhere - has he actually stopped following her? Harper was still a bit nervous, so she inspected some dusty, pixelated art about seven people with white pumpkins on their head before realizing how boring the pictures really were… but they freaked her out anyway, so she started counting all the pixels until she fell asleep.

Radar could barely follow the discussion that was going on… he was just too tired. He longed for the sun to set, and when it finally did, he concentrated all his strength to climb up to the attic before basically fainting on the floor face down.

Ellegaard was a little freaked out by seeing Winslow with her in the library, of all places. But she went to sleep anyway.

CASSIE very imperceptibly wishpered Winslow to patrol the hallway between dining room and library before she discontentedly followed Stella into the closet and endured being poked all night.

☀ Results of Day 5:

CASSIE started the day by complaining about being poked the whole night, which Stella interrupted saying that she didn't have Lluna with her in the closet, which was a problem. She also stated that Nell was singing "something about tissues", and that that was a crime because they were a Duck.

Note: The person playing Stella has a username referring to ducks.

After that, they realized that they (and it was totally not my fault) had overlooked a list that revealed that Warden and Radar were having a slumber party in the attic last night!

But that was quickly forgotten again when Warden decided to yell out loud that he wanted to throw Nell out. But when a voice from above told them to vote then, they retreated.

Stella went on to vote CASSIE into the closet, instead - but immediately rectified themself to Nell. Freudian slip? Warden voted for the same and asked Radar to guard, but Harper volunteered right after. They agreed to let Radar do it (even though Radar didn't use @Game Master ARRRGH but let's overlook that… this time.)

The patients then talked about cat-crazy people and the fact that PAMA was with them, but nobody claimed to own it, although Stella and CASSIE claimed to know who Harper is.

However, Radar revealed to have written the note last night. And then continued to ask if he could pet Lluna, because passing out is very exhausting. And thus, Lluna was promoted to stress therapy pet!

Warden also tried to vote to lock up the voice in his head. It wasn't very successful - Oh… nevermind. They put Alexa into the closet.

Radar also tried to order McMurder Fries. (Oh god, now he's losing his mind too…)

Nell brought them back on topic by loudly concluding that Cassie must be one of the people who have been locked up in the toilet, and that she's suspecting CASSIE.

Radar and Stella overheard everything but toilet and were so inspired that they wrote a survival guideline on how to survive murder and get rich. 🚽💰

Nell ignored them and voted to throw CASSIE out, to which Stella heavily disagreed.

Most patients were confused by Nell's use of the word "toilet" for the closet, but Warden approved the use of "toilet" for "closet" by saying how cruel society was for not letting him do his business in closets.

Stella brought up how she wanted to feed the zombies the flint & steel, and how a smooch would cure them… she was in her own world, for sure. She wondered if she could eat the zombies, and CASSIE too pondered how'd they taste.

Finally, the voice from above had enough and sent them all to bed. SERIOUSLY. This was long, but I had so much fun - doing this round in an asylum was the best idea ever. 😂

The Last Night 🌕

All Cassie ever wanted was to live a happy life with her 372,026,931 calico cats… but nooo, society had to declare that that was not "normal" and a sign of "mental illness" and that she should be put in an asylum for therapy. It was really their fault, not hers - the other patients constantly got on her nerves, and the staff wasn't much better as they treated everyone the same, no matter if they were sane, like her, or really crazy. So Cassie might have put up a few traps that killed a patient or two and maybe also the whole population of the house. It happens! She could impossibly have stood another second in this madhouse! Why does nobody ever seem to understand…?

Anyway, so she went outside - only to realize that she was stuck in this whole swamp dimension that was just created so that patients could never escape on their own. But the staff had to be able to get out somehow, right? She went back to the asylum, but it seemed like all their drops had disappeared already. Crud, she should've rushed to get them as soon as these people were dead!

She certainly wouldn't ever make that mistake again - but for now, she had no way to return to her home… luckily, however, her most beloved cat Winslow came to help. He risked being stuck in this mad-dimension with her for eternity! He was such a good cat. And he brought friends! 😼 😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼

Although that really cheered Cassie up, she still didn't want to accept her fate of living here forever. Maybe some day new patients would be admitted, then someone would have to bring them there and get out again afterwards…

And, look at that, they indeed came. Five more patients and one quite young looking bus driver.

Cassie spent days thinking and plotting how she could effectively eliminate them without being noticed… because even though this is an asylum we're talking about, the patients were not yet crazy enough to just let her do her thing. So she tried to cat-nap them, but it didn't quite ever work out.

As the days passed, the patients managed to narrow down who could be responsible for not cooking them breakfast and dinner - and they almost unanimously agreed that it's either Nell or CASSIE. And in night 5, Lluna followed CASSIE to the living room - she knew that was practically her death sentence, since everyone so far seemed to unquestionedly believe Stella everything she said.

So Cassie took her chance, and finally went to the secret passage ways to activate a trap on Stella, Warden and Ellegaard - all or nothing!

And, look at that… when Cassie went to collect their drops, she found the FLINT & STEEL where Stella was. That was… easy.

Well. Cassie wasn't complaining.

Finally. Finally she can get out of this dimension and back to her other 372,026,922 cats who surely are still patiently waiting for her to return home! (And feed them.) 😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼

Oh, and also, she may or may not have lit the mansion on her way out just for celebration. What, now that's making her a pyromaniac? OH SHUT UP, SOCIETY! SHE JUST WANTS TO MAKE SURE THE PATIENTS ARE WARM INSIDE!!! 🔥🔥🔥

Cassie has won the game! 🧠

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Alien Spaceship Pyramids

(Very mild Kwamibuster spoilers. Also on AO3)

-

Alix was not a happy bunny when she went back to the Louvre that evening.

“Did you see me on TV?” Jalil said immediately, jumping up in excitement. “My theory was accepted! I’m so happy!”

“Yeah, I saw it,” Alix snapped. She threw her schoolbag down on the floor and went off to go find her skates – she really had to do something fun and distracting or she would go mad.

“What did you think? Was I okay? I did get lots of followers on my history blog, so I’m glad at least that my theories are gaining traction–”

“Aliens, Jalil? Really?!” She spun round to face him. “You do know it’s possible for humans to build pyramids, right? That’s an actual thing that humans actually can do. I can do it myself, just gimme a few Lego blocks and I’ll happily show you. ‘Alien spaceships’, honestly...”

“But I have proof! The pyramids are so ancient that primitive human technology of the time can’t possibly have built structures as mathematically magnificent as that!”

“They just piled a bunch of rocks on top of each other, how hard can it be?”

“But they’re so huge, and – and – I have other proof too...”

She sighed. “Look. I didn’t care about the necromancy thing, even if it was so cringey that you got akumatized over it. I didn’t care about the Atlantis thing. I got super into the Area 51 thing, if you remember. I get that conspiracy theories are fun. But this? This is a step too far!”

“Why?”

“Because you’re acting like our own ancestors were too dumb to build a freaking pyramid!”

Jalil crossed his arms. “You sound just like dad.”

“Pfffff, dad doesn’t talk like that, he’s way less informal.”

“You know what I mean! Anyway, come on, can’t I count on my own family to support me? I support your skating thing, even though you keep getting injured from it!” He gestured towards the bandage on her knee.

“Jalil, dude. I have supported you through so much. Like that hang-gliding fad, or your weird rivalry with that Theo guy, or that bloody necromancy ritual you never shut up about. But now I’ve had it. Next you’ll be saying the moon landing was a hoax, or the earth is flat, or that vaccines are bad, or that Rena Rouge is Marinette, or... or...”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. “Rena Rouge is Mylène, of course.”

At the end of her patience, Alix turned away and began walking off to find her skates again. “I’m disowning you.”

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

“I can and I will!” she called out over her shoulder. “Dad was right to give the pocket watch to me! And guess what? I’m gonna go find Juleka’s mum and get her to adopt me, and then I’ll get an actual cool older brother instead! Not a weirdo like you...”

“Fine!” She heard Jalil stomp his foot, like some immature little kid. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Me neither!”

Good riddance – she’d had enough of him and his stupid conspiracies!

 -

 “You can’t just get my mum to adopt you,” Juleka said, rolling her eyes. Well, the one eye that was visible anyway. Who knew what the other one was doing.

“Why not?” Alix asked.

“Because you’ve already got a parent. My mum would have to marry your dad, and uh... yeah. Not happening.”

“But it’s so unfair! You get a cool big brother who’s actually supportive and nice and didn’t try to convince you that Beethoven is an alien time lord when you were only 3 years old...”

The quiet twangs of Luka’s guitar could be heard from where he was sitting out on the deck. Imagine if Jalil could play the guitar? But no, the stupid nerd had to go for drums, and it was so frustrating to have to hear that boring repetitive tapping whenever she was trying to do her homework.

Juleka’s one eye widened. “But Alix, Beethoven really IS an alien time lord.”

“Haha, very funny.” Alix turned away.

“Hey... Jalil is a grown-up, isn’t he? Surely he’ll move out soon and then you won’t have to deal with him?”

“I doubt it. He works in the museum with dad. It’ll be me who has to move out, and I’ve still got years left before I can do that. Meanwhile my brother is on TV going on about alien spaceships while yours is on TV because you guys are in a rock band.”

Couldn’t Jalil be in a rock band with her? Sure, the age difference was a lot bigger than Juleka and Luka’s was, but still! Sibling rock bands were such a cool idea. Why couldn’t Jalil ever think of something like that? “Sibling archaeology team” didn’t have quite the same ring to it, especially when said team ended up getting chased out of the park for digging up all the grass.

“It’s not like Luka isn’t annoying sometimes too,” Juleka said, seemingly trying to put on a reassuring smile. “For example he... uh... hmm... he thinks ethereal wave is better than darkwave. It’s really annoying.”

“Ah yes, arguing over music genres. Jalil thinks the Hurrian Hymns are better than the Jet Set Radio soundtrack and I want to slap him. Like no offence to the Ancient Sumerians but they could really have used more bass.”

“Well um... Luka also won’t use mascara even though I keep telling him it’ll really make his eyes pop.”

“Yeah, and Marinette and Adrien still won’t stop obsessing over him. Jalil fricking wears scarfs indoors. Like, inside when it’s warm. I don’t care about fashion and even I want to nominate him for Queer Eye.”

Juleka shrugged. “Oh, I give up. Luka is a great brother. I’m sorry.”

Alix nodded, getting up to leave. “Never mind. I guess I’ll just have to deal with him then, though I’m not gonna stop giving him the silent treatment...”

Anyway, Juleka constantly trying to make her feel better wasn’t what she needed. She needed a brick wall to vent at who would just nod along and not really care, and let her be as annoyed as she wanted in peace. She needed... ah yes... a certain emo who would certainly be in the art gallery back at the Louvre right about now...

 -

 She hadn’t even made it there yet before hearing the unwelcome voice of Nuisance #1 chasing after her down the street.

“HEY ALIX! Your brother was awesome on that show earlier! Wait come back! Stop!”

Screeching to a halt on her skates, she turned around. “What do you want, Kim?”

Kim did that weird half-dab thing he had been doing all day. “The show, Alternative Truth! How do you get on it? I wanna be on it too!”

She rolled her eyes. “For what? What stupid conspiracy are you going to go with?”

“Well don’t tell anyone but...” He looked around and then lowered his voice to a whisper. “I think your dad might be Hawk Moth.”

“God, and I thought Jalil was bad...”

Kim didn’t seem to have heard her. “So how do you get on the show? How did Jalil do it? What do I do? Do I need to make a history blog too? I follow Jalil’s one now and it’s really great but he hasn’t mentioned anything about the show yet so...”

Alix made a mental note to remember to block Jalil’s blog from every one of her accounts at some point in the near future. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Go ask him yourself.”

“Well I would, but I can’t go in the Louvre, the security guards banned me after I broke that statue that one time...”

“Oh yeah, that was great,” she said, allowing herself a grin despite how annoyed she was. “Fine, I’ll let you in through the side entrance. But only on the condition that you never speak to me about Jalil ever again.”

His face fell. “Why not?”

“Because he’s the worst brother ever and I hate him.”

“Wow, that’s kinda harsh...”

“I don’t care. Now hurry up and follow me, I’ve got a tomato to meet up with.”

She skated off and trusted he was following. He was always bragging about being able to run super fast, well surely he’d be able to keep up, right? If he couldn’t then too bad for him!

 -

 “Alright, go through there,” Alix said, pointing at the corridor that led towards her family’s quarters. “I’m going to the art gallery. And if you get kicked out or arrested by security guards then I’m absolutely throwing you under the bus and pretending I had nothing to do with this.”

“Cool. In return, I’m gonna tell Jalil what you said about him being the worst brother ever and that you hate him. See ya later!”

Kim turned and ran off before she could even process what he’d said.

Wait... he was going to actually tell Jalil that? To his face?

Alix ignored the weird pangs of guilt. Anyway, it was true! Jalil was the worst. She definitely didn’t care if someone told him so. He deserved to be insulted.

Her gut twisted painfully.

No! No guilt. She stuffed a pair of headphones on and skated off towards the art gallery.

 -

 The best thing about Nathaniel was that he just didn’t care. It probably worked both ways – plenty of times he’d been the one sitting here, ranting about something while doodling in that little sketchbook of his, and Alix would just skate around and listen. Now it was her turn to rant.

“Jalil is so annoying! I can’t stand it any longer! His conspiracies don’t even make any sense, he’s just doing it to be edgy and weird and I hate it!”

“Mhm.” Nath didn’t even look up from his sketchbook.

“I never even minded before, but this alien spaceship thing has gone too far. And to think he was on TV, and everyone saw it! It’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me!”

“Yeah. So embarrassing.”

“I used to wonder why dad is so harsh on him all the time, but I kinda get it now. He’s just – just so–”

She stopped just short of saying the word useless.

Was Jalil useless?

Well... he had been the one who had bought Alix her first ever pair of skates. Heck, he’d even been the one who bought the skates she was currently wearing.

Nath finally looked up. “Having second thoughts?”

Alix had been so busy venting that she hadn’t noticed the songs that were playing through her headphones, having just put the thing on shuffle and let it do what it wanted, but she suddenly noted the vaguely familiar tones of an ancient lyre.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she looked to see that it was... oh yeah, Hurrian Hymn No. 6. That time when she’d downloaded it just to see what Jalil’s hype about it even was. It was okay, she guessed. Not her type of music, but hey, the Ancient Sumerians only had a limited availability of instruments to work with, it wasn’t her place to judge that.

She sighed and went to sit down beside Nath.

“It’s a bit weird... me and Jalil have never really fought like this before. He just does his own thing and I do my own thing. I... I’m not used to being mad at him.”

Peering over, she noticed that Nath was drawing the pyramids themselves. It reminded her of what she was annoyed about in the first place.

“I just can’t believe he literally went on TV and called the pyramids alien spaceships! Does he even hear himself? I usually stick up for him when dad is calling him out on his dumb theories, but this one just doesn’t make any sense at all...”

“So this is the first time you haven’t taken his side?” Nath asked.

She nodded. “I guess that’s why he’s mad at me too... he’s used to me sorta passively supporting him... I mean most of the time his theories aren’t any more or less zany than the stuff Alya comes up with, so it’s not usually a big deal...”

The lyre was strangely haunting. So much reverb, echoing around like the thoughts in her brain. It was enough to calm her down a bit – probably a good thing, because getting akumatized was not exactly a priority today.

Her phone buzzed. She looked at it again to see–

Ugh, a notification that Jalil had updated his blog. She’d forgotten to block him.

But even as she unlocked the screen and went to do so, she couldn’t stop herself from reading what he’d posted, at least the first few lines.

Apologies to all my dear fans and followers who watched Alternative Truth today, but I am renouncing my theory that the pyramids are the remains of ancient spaceships. I have come to realize that I was misinformed and that there is a high possibility that the Ancient Egyptians really did build them through their own power, and...

What?

“Nath!” Alix leapt to her feet. “Jalil doesn’t believe that alien spaceship theory anymore!”

Nath barely even blinked. “Okay. Cool.”

“How did this happen? There’s no way he’d just stop believing something like that, he’s always so adamant that he’s right! Unless... unless... oh no...”

Was this her fault? Her saying that she hated Jalil, that he was the worst brother ever, and Kim deciding to tell him so, did that really hurt Jalil so much that he’d renounce his own theory? Had her words affected him that much?

“Oh my god I have to go apologize to him.”

“Uh what?”

“I’ll be back later! You keep drawing, I have to go...”

Leaving Nath there confused, she skated off at top speed.

 -

 “Jalil! Jalil, there you are!”

Jalil frowned. “Alix? I thought you weren’t going to talk to me anymore?”

Too much momentum to stop in time, she skated right into him and almost knocked him over. “I’m so sorry I was mean to you okay, I mean your theory was definitely stupid and I’m glad you renounced it but please ignore whatever Kim said, I don’t think you’re the worst brother and–”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the things I said about you behind your back! Kim said he was going to tell you...”

Jalil scratched his head in thought. “That’s the kid with the Tintin hair, right? I didn’t get to talk to him at all, I saw him getting kicked out by security actually.”

“So he didn’t tell you that I said I hated you?”

“No, not at all!”

Oh...

“Well then why did you renounce your theory?” she asked. “I thought it was because I made you feel bad.”

“Something really strange happened to me actually!” Jalil said, his eyes lighting up in the way that they always did whenever he was going to go off on a conspiracy tangent. Alix mentally prepared herself for the worst. “I met a superhero who claimed to come from the future! She had the powers of time travel and said that she would prove me wrong, and so she took me through a portal back in time to thousands of years ago, and briefly showed me the Ancient Egyptians actually building the pyramids themselves. And I know it sounds too good to be true but I promise I’m not lying! This really happened to me!”

Superhero from the future? She was about to say how far-fetched that sounded, when she noticed Jalil looking at her very suspiciously.

“The superhero... looked very familiar, now that I think about it...”

“Uh... who did it look like?”

He hesitated for a few seconds before answering. “...Never mind. Just a conspiracy theory.”

“Is it one with proof this time? Because as long as it’s not as stupid as the pyramid one, I’m willing to hear it.”

He shook his head. “I’ll tell you someday, but just uh... not yet.”

“Um, okay.”

“Anyway, you were right about the pyramid theory being wrong, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

“Cool. And I’m... I’m sorry I was really harsh about it.”

“No, it’s good that you were! I shouldn’t be giving all the credit to aliens for things that humans did. And you’re usually really nice about my theories, so if it was something that made you annoyed, then it surely had to have been bad...”

Alix smiled – it was nice to be back on her brother’s good side. “All forgiven. I’ll still stick up for you when dad’s being annoying, I promise.”

“Thanks, munchkin.” He patted her on the head. “I like it better when we’re not bickering.”

“Same.”

Something popped into her head all of a sudden.

“Oh yeah, Jalil? How did you get onto Alternative Truth in the first place?”

“Why do you want to know? Are you going to go on it?”

“What? No! Not me! Kim stans that show, he was bugging me about it earlier...”

“Oh right! Well it was like this...”

He launched into an explanation. Phew – things were back to normal. Jalil could be annoying, sure, but he still helped Alix with her homework, and covered for her whenever she was doing anything she wasn’t supposed to, and cheered for her at skating competitions, and so many other things she was grateful for. In fact, he probably kept her in line as much as she had done with him today. Of course, being so much younger, it wasn’t exactly easy to boss him around without him getting overly annoyed about it. But at least he was still there for her.

Superhero from the future, though... who on earth was that?

 -

 It was several years later when Alix kicked open the door to Jalil’s room, pocket watch in hand.

“Hey Alix, what’s u–”

“The superhero was me, wasn’t it?” she said, deadpan.

“What superhero?”

“The one who showed you the pyramids years ago.”

Jalil’s eyes widened. “Oh – the bunny? You mean that really is you?”

“Oh hell yes, it was me alright. You were being such a twerp that day, it still annoys me when I think about how I had to sit through that stupid TV show...”

“Wait you’re a miraculous holder?!”

Alix didn’t pay him any attention. “I’m going back in time to that day right now and proving you wrong. Your alien spaceship theory doesn’t stand a chance.”

“Wait wait wait you’re telling me my little sister really is a superhero???”

Alix turned back around and walked out of the room. How had it took her so long to put two and two together? Well, whatever. Time to fix mini-Alix and mini-Jalil’s friendship, and put an end to the alien spaceships once and for all.

[avery-oliver]

Reconciliation | Avery + Ángel

w/ @angel-emmerson

“She’s the same way with Quinn, she must sense that you two are basically twins.” Avery’s smile turned up a bit as she watched Grace sleep soundly with her head on Ángel’s chest. She knew that it was only a matter of time before they had to speak again, almost 9 years of barely talking and it was kind of surreal to have him there now. She thought they might have run into each other when he and Leslie were hooking up but now that she and Brady were on their way back to..something, she expected this would happen sooner rather than later. He was protective of his sister, always had been but a few hours with him today and she was reminded of why so many people thought so highly of him. Back in her 20s he had a way of filling that void she didn’t know she had for an older sibling, an older brother, a man that could be trusted. He wasn’t perfect but he was kind and in the three years she and Brady were together, he had shown her just how much someone can grow from their pain. She knew she had broken the Emmeron’s hearts when she left Brady and though she wished he had forgiven her more easily, she was grateful that he was seeing her now and not as the mess she was a month ago, not sure she could handle having to accept his pity or help. She wanted to show him she was stronger now, able to stand on her two feet, able to be someone he could trust to care and love for his sisters heart the way she had the first time around. 

“Yeah, well, what can I say? She has a type and it’s all good taste,” he teased, still in awe of the young girl who had allowed him to run around with her all day. He had been hesitant in reaching out to Avery, especially since he and Leslie weren’t talking. But putting that situation aside, he could sense how excited Brady was getting and he couldn’t deny his worry over having to watch her fall to pieces again. He had been the closest to it all, spent a significant time out in California in the months following Avery’s departure and he never wanted to see his sister feel as low as she had then. He wasn’t really looking to give Avery a lecture as much as he was trying to re-connect, especially after learning about the family pressure that had led Avery to leave in the first place. That and well...the birth of Grace had always been conflicting for him. He didn’t have any ties to Elaheh and though he and Avery hadn’t talked in years, they had once talked a lot about how they both dreamed of being parents one day. Avery had become so close to the Emmersons back then it was easy to assume that she and Brady would end up together, and though he thought maybe they had all been foolish, he was seeing now that maybe the people who were meant for each other really did find their way back. 

“I..wish I had met her sooner,” he admitted, absolutely adoring the toddler as soon as he met her. He hadn’t wanted to get invested, hadn’t wanted to think about how weird it probably was for Brady to see Avery with a kid but when there were children involved, Ángel was only interested in their best interest, in making sure that whatever did happen with his sister and Avery also brought goodness to Grace’s life. 

“Yeah well, I didn’t exactly give you a reason to come running back to be my friend. I mean you reached out back then and I never responded, I didn’t know how to talk to you. But come on, I’m not stupid, it’s not a coincidence that the one pair of Jordans she has ever owned came as a gift from Quinn at my baby shower. He’s like the best and worst liar.” She was quiet for another moment, thinking about how far they were from the 22 and 25 year olds they were back then, feeling like an entire lifetime had passed and yet she still felt as comfortable as she had the first time she sat down at their dinner table. “Are you gonna give me the don’t break my sister’s heart talk though cause I gotta admit I’ve been waiting and nervous for it all day, I mean that’s why you’re here, right? Not just to claim favorite uncle title from Quinn and Zay?” 

He smiled to himself, having avoided a real conversation for most of the afternoon, instead catching up on what was going on in Avery’s life, how Grace was growing and learning, anything to avoid addressing his own worries about the future, about the people he cared about, about how hard it was to accept things you couldn’t control. “A few weeks ago Brady asked me if I would be supportive if you and her became..something again and I guess I hadn’t realized just how much she like valued my opinion, you know? And I felt bad that she would hesitate because of something I saw or felt. I mean I’m her brother, of course I want to be protective but she’s a grown woman and I want her to make her own choices. But I gotta tell you Ave, she was fucked up when you left. Real fucked up and that’s not to make you feel guilty I just wanna say that if you’re gonna be like..doing shit together, please just, take a moment to think about if you want to be serious because I really never want to see my sister that sad again. Like...fucking ever.” He looked down at Grace who stirred a bit and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, “Sorry I’m loud,” he mumbled with a soft laugh before looking at Avery. “I want you both to be happy. I guess this is my own way of saying..I still care about you too, but I’ll always care about my sister more, you know? You get what I’m saying?”

Avery nodded although she was unable to deny the guilt that formed in her stomach at his words. She had visualized it a lot since seeing Brady, trying to wrap her head around how she could hurt someone she loved so much. She knew what he was saying and though a month ago it would have terrified her, now it just re-affirmed what she had been feeling every day since the beach. It had been such a perfect day, a kind of day she had been dreaming about. It was so simple, quality time with her daughter, quality time with someone who cared about her and about Grace. She had felt so relaxed and she knew it was because she trusted Brady more than she trusted most people. When it came to Grace, she was as fiercely if not more protective than he was with Brady so he understood what it meant to want to go to the ends of the earth to see them happy. “I get what you’re saying and I appreciate it, I don’t take it lightly I mean shit, you really know how to give the silent treatment,” she joked but gave him a grateful smile. “I’m serious about this, Ángel, I’m serious about her and there are things we really need to figure out but I’m not interested in fucking around anymore, not when I have to really think about more than just myself. I want her to know me as someone who’s happy, you know?”

“Yeah, I hear you. Shit I never had any doubt you’d be an amazing mom, A. She’s one lucky kid. And we’re here for her, me and B and my moms. And for you. Like we’ve always been. Especially if you’re serious about these career moves, you know the BDB got you, we’ll promote all your cooking stuff.”

She gave him a grateful smile and brought her glass of wine back to her lips. “I appreciate that, all of it, but for the cooking stuff I think I’m good for now also..I missed you but given that you and Leslie are..whatever you are now, I think it’s best if you and I cool off on the whole public supportive friendship thing. Leslie’s my best friend and I want her to be able to have parts of her life that she doesn’t have to share with you, does that make sense? You can tell me if that sounds harsh but I want to be thoughtful, because like you said, I care about you but I’ll always care about her more, you know? And I don’t even know all the details but she said you said some mean shit which is so hard for me to imagine but whatever it is, just...try not to piss her off more, please? She has enough going on. So like, do your best to not get yourself wrapped up in all this small town shit. I know that’s easier said than done but..be careful, Ang.” She watched the way his expression changed when she mentioned Leslie and her expression softened for a moment, “Oh, you really like her, huh?” She watched him as he nodded but sensed the shift when she asked him directly and put her hand to her chest. “Oh...Ángel....really? You love her?”

He could feel his cheeks getting red and if it wasn’t for Grace on his chest he would have gotten up from his seat and avoided the conversation as a whole. “I mean..look..yeah but like can we just..can we just pretend like you don’t know that? I don’t need people thinking I’m some fucking lovesick puppy or some shit, you know? Especially with you, you said yourself you’re her best friend which is why I haven’t brought her up. You’re right I said some dumb shit and so did she and the two times we’ve talked haven’t gone well so I’m just,” he stopped himself, feeling himself getting frustrated but the sight of Grace calmed him and he was able to drop his defenses a bit. “I want her to be happy and I...got caught up in being someone that could maybe help with that. I’m..angry that I earned her trust and got so mad that I..ruined it during one moment of anger. I feel validated in setting boundaries but I feel...stupid for how I did it. And I’m..trying to be smart but we both know that isn’t my wheelhouse.” 

He met her eyes for a moment before looking back at the pool, not really wanting to say more and put either of them in a weird position. It was a careful balance of acknowledging the role they played in each other’s life because of Brady, because of the years they knew each other in high school and the roles they played in Leslie’s life, not that he had much of one anymore. Still, it felt like a movie moment, sitting there with her, catching up after all of these years and realizing just how much had happened up until this moment. When he put the three years they spent being close, up against the rest of the time they hadn’t, he knew it was easier to be present, to realize that they were both a long way from the past. 

She felt for him as she heard him, knowing what it was like to want someone you probably would never have. But she couldn’t deny the amusement watching this man so clearly vulnerable and emotional and she had to laugh and think about the fact that this was the man Leslie had decided to spend more time with than most. She didn’t want to make the conversation longer than it needed to be but looking at him now she remembered the moments in high school when she would catch him staring at Leslie or the brief period of time she thought he had a crush on her but could now see that he spent that time trying to know more about Leslie than her. She had to stifle a laugh as it all clicked in her head and she wondered for a moment if Leslie knew that this tall, goofy man had been this hung up for her for so long. 

"Look, I don’t know what’s gonna happen with you and Leslie, if anything will ever happen again. I’m not getting involved, period, though your sister is very convincing so don’t hold me to that,” she added, a slight smile playing at her lips for a moment. “Stop it with those sad in your feelings eyes, it’s depressing, get it together man, you’re making me look like I’m the well adjusted one and I’m not okay with that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently is that love is unpredictable and feelings are..unexpected.” She thought about the women she had come to be intimate with over the past few months, the way they had made her feel, the way she had been able to feel herself change the way she looked at intimacy, the way she looked at how she let herself be treated. It was why she was so open to the idea of pursuing something that made her feel the way she had always dreamed of instead of continuing to live in fear and doubt. “Come on, let’s put her in bed and then there’s something I want to give you before you go.”

She grabbed the glasses they had been drinking from as he got to his feet and was careful not to disturb Grace, following Avery back into the house. “This place is huge for no reason you know that, right?” She flipped him off and they both had to stifle a laugh. She hesitated but let him walk into the room and lie Grace down himself since she knew his arms were long enough to lie her down with ease. He smiled as he looked down at her lying in the crib, wondering how things would be now that she knew him and now that he knew just how great it felt to be a part of her little world. “Buenos noches, mi estrella,” he whispered softly before backing out of the room. “Kind of funny, isn’t it? Like how all this time has passed and in a moment things just...change like you and me being here, spending time with her it’s...I don’t know what the word is for it but it’s wild.”

“I think surreal is a good one.” Avery led him back towards her home office and towards the bookshelf, already knowing what she was looking for and she held the book close to her as she turned around. “I know the Emmersons hate when I start with the book recs but this is one of my favorite books of poems from my favorite poet and I just...I really think that if you sit with it for a little bit, read it out loud even, you will feel it and find some comfort in it. Just give it a try, okay? Humor me.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised that what she wanted to give him was a book but he still reached out for it. “Mary Oliver, alright I mean...yeah, yeah I’ll try. It might take me a bit but Ewan has had me reading a little more too so I’m getting better. Maybe I’ll read ‘em with Quinn and we’ll sort it out together and if not Alli could always help, she’s wicked smart.” He looked the book over one more time before tucking it under his arm, “I should head out though, told Q I’d be home in time to make dinner with him so I don’t wanna be late. But uh, thanks for letting me come over and for what it’s worth, you’re gonna kick ass out there with your new business. About time these people ate something with some seasoning, you know? You know where I’m at if you need me and I already told B but when you go to Italy please bring me back something nice.” 

His smile matched hers and they both hesitated before stepping forward for a quick hug. “She already told you about Italy?” Avery’s smile widened even more, knowing she should have taken Brady more seriously when she said it but knowing that she had mentioned it to her brother meant that it would actually happen. She had to suppress her excitement as she followed him towards the front door, already knowing she’d go into planning mode and call Brady as soon as he left.  

He laughed as he looked at her, feeling hopeful for his sister as terrifying as that was. Brady had spent so long telling him that she’d never be involved with anyone again but he was finally being proven right in holding out hope for her. He wanted that more for her than he wanted it for himself. “Yeah, yeah you two lovebirds just be careful, alright? When you want Lil G to learn how to be the funniest person around, Q and I are happy to babysit.”

“God, yeah, I’m really rushing to let you and Quinn babysit my kid. I know you two are responsible but the last thing I need is my daughter being on your YouTube channel learning how to flip people off. We can wait until she’s older.” 

“Shit that means you know about my YouTube channel, we’re making the rounds!”

“Don’t be flattered, it’s a small town, everyone knows everyone’s business eventually.”

He let out a laugh as he opened the door of his truck. “Ain’t that the truth. Alright, take it easy, uh, a river of cheese or whatever is it the Italians say when they leave.”

“Arrivederci, Ángel, it’s Arrivederci,” she said more to herself, mostly amused that she knew what he was trying to say and endeared by the fact that he hadn’t changed a bit. She waved him off as he pulled out of the driveway and almost like a teenager ran back inside to grab her phone, her smile widening the moment Brady picked up. 

“So I wanted to know when you’re free for this vacation...”

[bellamygateoldblog]

rate best to worst parental figures of the 100

worst → best (I tend to ramble throughout this, sorry!)

19 — Nia : I mean I don’t think an explanation is needed here lol. She burned Echo’s parents alive, it’s implied she then renamed her Ash, before forcing her into the identity of another child and filling her life with assassination and espionage. Mother Of The Year?

18 — Aurora : so firstly we have Octavia- who’s existence shouldn’t be. It was so incredibly irresponsible and selfish to subject her child to this life. If the ark hadn’t been dying and Octavia never caught, would she had been expected to grow old and die under the floor? Would Bellamy have spent his life, even after Aurora was long dead, being nothing more than his sister’s keeper?

And Bellamy- to manipulate your six year old son into believing it’s his responsbility to protect and care for his sister, so engrained into his mind and sense of self that he still lives by this mantra well into his 20s, to treat Bellamy being Octavia’s whole world as normal, having him go through his life with this small girl attached to him, entirely dependent on him, placing such a heavy weight onto a child- it’s UGH. No words, just a grunt.

He gave up his education and his personal life and he became a father when he was six years old. She took his life away.

This early family dynamic is at the root of ALL of Octavia and Bellamy’s major character traits, struggles and flaws, it drives them still, it’s effects are still felt and reinforced. BOO.

17 — Raven’s unnamed mother : And here is where I go off on a rant criticising the writing more than the actual mother. Just like Octavia, Raven was raised by another child, except in this case her mother is emotionally absent and said child is the same age as her (or younger) and thus i expect their experience and maturity levels are matched through their lives. Could this have bourne some co-dependency? Perhaps, but it’s never talked about i think because Raven’s backstory is practically a Schrödinger’s cat scenario with all the retconning that goes on. Like here- we recieved some more information in season six that directly contradicts what was already established of their mother-daughter relationship: “she never used me.”

*deadpan narrator voice* She did, however, use her.

That’s if we choose to accept this one as canon and not that one, god this writing is atrocious. Raven’s mother was neglectful, so much so that the only way she ate is through a boy sharing his own rations with her. Raven believes “she only had [her] so she could trade [Raven’s] rations for moonshine.” SHE DID USE HER DAUGHTER.

Furthermore, in season one she defended her mother (context: when a remark was made about selling sex in exchange for supplies), she tells her not to “dare talk about [her] mother that way” and i get the impression she at least respected her, but in season six she straight up calls her “a drunk who sold herself for booze.” In fact in season six she goes from being deluded one second- “she never used me”- to being scarily desensitised by a harsh reality the next, the same way she was in early seasons, speaking casually of her mother’s alcoholism. WHAT IS THE TRUTH? None of what we know of Raven’s family and backstory can coexist and yet here we are, talking about Raven’s family and backstory as if the writers ever cared enough to make it actually coherent.

16 — Murphy’s unnamed mother : did love him once, very much so, but let her grief poison her and turn her against her son. Another alcoholic/addict mother to add to the collection. We don’t have a lot of details about her, but the knowledge that she blamed her vulnerable little boy who had no control over his own health for the death of her husband who made his own conscious choice is enough for me to place her down here. The source of Murphy’s lack of self worth, *implied* intrusive thoughts, and difficulty connecting with others, and just in general sometimes being a total jackass. Yeah, it’s all her fault.

15 —  Clarke : like mother, like daughter. She electrocuted her child,  but what I find to be remarkably horrific about this is the simple fact  the device is the same one used to torture her in the  beginning of the season, the same one used by the so-called ‘villains’. She felt and endured the pain herself, and then decided subjecting her own daughter to that same treatment was an acceptable and necessary choice-  before leaving that decision completely redundant later by switching allegiance  and having Madi lead the army afterall. Madi was dependent on Clarke, the silent agreement is trust and respect, and this one singular  action showed Clarke violating everything it means to be a guardian and  protector. Also, she never apologised to Madi for this, nor did their relationship experience strain as a result when both of those  things absolutely should’ve happened. That’s my main gripe with the  relationship, the other being that it’s bourne of the same strain of  co-dependancy as the Blakes.

Something about Madi wanting to go to  school and be a regular child and Clarke responding to that with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me. At this point nobody cares about the Commander. Nobody- literally every single grounder is asleep- and, as her mother, Clarke has the right and the power to have Madi take out that damn flame to preserve her safety and youth and she doesn’t. She continues to let Gaia train her 12 year old for a dead position. Clarke is just as much culpable for the Sheidheda fiasco as Spacekru are for putting the flame into Madi’s head in the first place. That thing should’ve been removed as soon as it was no longer necessary. Clarke’s young, she had a child practically sprung upon her, and i want to give her the benefit of the doubt- but I won’t.

14 — Abby : I had no idea where to put Abby on this list and I think i’m being too generous but she’s a tricky one because I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad mother, not compared to the others on this list anyway, but the harsher aspects of her personality along with the high-stakes environment leads to the natural break down of her relationship with her daughter. I got the impression they were once close; Clarke is seen reaching out for her mother for comfort and validation multiple times during the first couple of seasons and she’s devastated and betrayed at the knowledge of what was Abby’s culpability in Jake’s death. Over time this falls apart. Abby never harms her biological daughter, but does have a very weird rival-like relationship with her, imo this being because they’re so similar. I can see so much Abby in Clarke and vice-versa. And they clash because of it, and Abby just doesn’t have any authority over Clarke, and over time their relationship distances to a point it lacks emotional value and other characteristics that make mother-daughter dynamics unique and meaningful. They love each other, no doubt about that, Abby’s been prepared to throw others to the wolves for her daughter a few times, just as Clarke does later in life. But the relationship between Abby and her daughter is strained from the beginning of the series, which makes her position as Clarke’s mother complicated.

Upon meeting Abby, Raven instantly viewed her through an almost idolistic lens- “relax, it’s a compliment, Abby’s a badass”- making me believe she latched onto this idea of The Mother She Never Had, and Abby’s first thoughts when encountering Raven were literally that she reminded her of her own daughter- “reminds me of someone.” This dynamic is absolutely intended as mother-daughter. While a mother-figure to Raven, though, Abby has directly and intentionally caused her harm. She’s electrocuted her, she;s then tried to avoid acknowledging her wrongness for that action- Raven in this moment of torture is as betrayed as Madi was by Clarke- she’s also hit her and while in a systematically higher position than her no less. These instances automatically make me wince away from the relationship because in no way does it come across as comfortable and safe for Raven. On the other hand, they’ve had a bunch of heartfelt moments even though they’re disguised as harsh jabs taken at one another. They’ve expressed the hard truth when nobody else will in times of the other’s vulnerability.

There is a stark contrast though between how she treats Clarke and how she treats Raven and the lack of biological relation, i think, is a buffer for Abby. IMHO i think her care for Raven is conditional, but unconditional for Clarke.

I don’t know what i should be feeling about her motherly-ness.

13 — Kane : I didn’t pay much attention to Kane’s dynamics, honestly, because I just didn’t like him, but as far as I’m aware he tried to do well by Octavia, Bellamy and Clarke, somewhat self-righteously and blaming, but trying is trying and he is always framed as in the right and morally superior so I guess that’s gotta count for something. This was all ruined during season five, though, with him attempting to have every one of them killed among other things. He didn’t appear concerned or reluctant- or anything about any of them.

12 —  Hannah : I think it’s safe to assume Monty had a good relationship with both of his parents pre-show. Hannah came across as misguided and manipulative towards Monty often, though, which i think came from both a place of love and desire to protect, but also, at points of most controlling, from a place of desperation and fear having already lost her husband. Honestly all I remember is not liking her very much so i’m placing her here in the middle/neutral area with Indra and Jaha.

11 — Indra : I place her here because we don’t actually have a lot of information about her relationship with Gaia. And I view her relationship with Octavia as mentor-mentee and eventually friends. They’ve had some sweet heart-to-heart moments, but i’ve always struggled to see the maternal connection. Octavia might be the daughter Gaia never was to Indra (I think Gaia might’ve even said this in the actual show?) but such a fond and pronounced memory of Aurora still exists within Octavia and with her very narrow-minded vision I don’t see her prepared to replace her or at the very least share that position with other people in her life. Indra is a stoic character, but it’s almost as if her emotional expression is reserved for Octavia. This speaks something of the closeness of their bond, but also tells us the climate between her and Gaia is more distant and troubled. There’s love there though- she was, afterall, planning to die so Gaia could live. Is this the only intended motherly sacrifice we’ve seen on the show?

The Blodreina of it all, while on one hand strengthened one dynamic, shattered the other. Indra is someone Octavia respected, trusted and listened to. I have to believe she was in the position to guide and advice her through the entireity of the time jump, but instead we saw her stand by and let Octavia slip further and further into her own darkness before turning on her in the most critical moment. And she might’ve tried and nothing worked, but really? You want me to try to make sense of this myself? The writers were on a quest to villainise Octavia and the fall of this relationship was a product rather than an intention.

10 — Jaha : he created a treasure, i’ll give him that. Admittedly we don’t know an awful lot about Wells or about his relationship with his father, but we do know he risked his own life to take care of Clarke, similar to Bellamy and to Raven who both also came to Earth to protect someone they loved. Both of those examples had terrible parents, so Wells’ goodness doesn’t necessarily mean we can credit Jaha, and as far as i can remember Wells never actually defended his father against the angry delinquents. Does him choosing to follow Clarke over staying with his father in space mean he must really love Clarke, or could it ellude to a certain father-son relationship not being as comfortable as it could be? When Jaha’s handed another child later on, he stops Kane giving him extra food because of something along the lines of: ‘he needs to learn the world’ so I think his parenting style may be more of the tough love and respect type. Wells is practical and strives to maintain order and squash rebelliousness thus his butting heads with the rest of the delinquents, but he has people’s best interests at heart (letting Clarke hate him rather than Abby, for example) and those are very Jaha characteristics i can see he inherited/observed and imitated.

9 — Monty and Harper : we only have a handful of information on this. Jordan has fond memories of them, but so does Octavia and Bellamy about their mother and we all know the truth about that one. Jordan is a backwards Octavia. Monty and Harper were all he had growing up, he wasn’t forced into hiding, but I can’t imagine it was a fun existence for him to grow up in isolation- watching the faces of other children behind the glass and never being able to wake them up to play. BUT his childhood is different to Octavia’s in a few ways that make a big difference and land them further up the list: 1) he’s clearly educated, 2) he has two loving parents even if they are all he has, 3) he has knowledge about the Earth, it’s story and the people from it so has a much stronger and more complex understanding of morality, meaning he’s less judgemental, and he’s also better prepared to interact with others by the time this oppurtunity arises.

They get points for leaving him in Bellamy’s hands, but are automatically relegated a few places for making Clarke his god mother.

8 — Bellamy : yes Bellamy is on this list because yes he is Octavia’s father and nothing you say matters. So every child he’s ever ‘adopted’ has died, but he tries his best to think of these children when nobody else was ever doing that. Octavia’s damaged and her more toxic traits have a tendancy to become amplified in times of high emotion, especially in the vicinity of her brother, but he was just as much a victim in all of this as she was and Aurora is entirely to blame for the disaster that is the Blake sibling relationship (I mean neither of them even had a frame of reference of what siblings look like, how were they to know how to relate to one another?).

He tries. He’s more equipped to and committed than most on this show to helping vulnerable people, he’s proven time and time again he’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect and love his sister, he gets it wrong sometimes, his efforts can be misguided and recieved differently than he might’ve intended them to be. But the facts are: he understands what it means to be a parent, he knows what it’s like to lose their child, he knows what it’s like to pour himself into someone else and hope for the best of them.

7 — Luna : she founded a clan and those people were, in a sense, her children. She kept them safe for years, it was peaceful, life was simple and fulfilling. Clarke observed her interactions with the actual children that lived there and they loved her, she was good with them. Her people respected her.

6 — Monty’s father : yet another heroic father to add to this fucking collectio-

5 —  Ginger dad : in one of the most heartbreaking scenes on this show to date, he does the David Miller thing, or i guess David Miller does The Ginger Dad Thing, and sacrifices his own life to pump more air into his child’s lungs.

4 — Murphy’s unnamed father : in a place you’ll be executed for petty crime, risking it all and stealing something as valuable as medicine just to give your son a chance at more life is commendable. He loved his son (literally) to death. It’s his memory and his sacrifice, like with Raven and Clarke, that pushes him to survive.

3 — Jake :  I think the show has demonstrated quite nicely that Clarke is a daddy’s girl. Jake The Good Engineer, Jake The Good Father, Jake The Hero. He inspires Clarke so much she goes to prison for it. And, like Sinclair-Raven, Clarke’s consciousness dreams him up whenever she’s in an intensely stressful situation and/or feeling hopeless about life and void of direction in general. This was a comfortable and secure bond, and his death marked the beginnings of Clarke’s entire story.

2 — David : easily one of the best fathers on the show, i mean he gave up the oppurtunity of claiming a spot in the bunker just so he could give his son better odds of surviving, he gave up the possibility of being in the bunker with his son. Another fatherly sacrifice for the collection. He loves Miller unconditionally, even when Miller himself feels like a disappointment.

1 — Sinclair : this was an obvious retcon, but still good as long as I don’t think about it. A cute father-figure, the mentor that took a chance on her, the first (or second) person to pick her. Everything about this relationship is sweet and healthy, a nice diversion from the usually exhaustingly complex dynamics. Their relationship was so meaningful, in fact, that it was him who Raven’s dying mind manifested to encourage her to go on living. 10/10.

(and don’t think i don’t peep that bad/cruel mothers, good/heroic fathers pattern here. These writers WACK…)

[jbbarnesandnoble]

Forever and Always: Part 8 

Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to date, until someone got in between you two. After a year without seeing him, he pops up in your life again, and old feelings with him? Harsh words can never taken back, but can they be forgiven?

Chapter Summary: There are two sides to every story

Word Count: 3,749

Warnings: Anggssstt, self-hate, acceptance 

A/N:  Woah... I haven't worked on this in ages. Do you guys even like this fic anymore? Sorry if my writing in this part is bad. I think I read over this around 5 or 6 times and I didn’t feel like doing it again. I had a hard time getting inspiration for this part, especially during the ending. Sorry if it isn’t the best. Please leave some feedback, I love to know what you all are thinking. If you want me to tag you in this series feel free to let me know!

He can't help but stare at you, a million emotions flowing through him at once. Yet he's unable to express a single one. He wants to yell, but at who? Certainly not you, you're only trying to look out for him. Even he can see that. At Elena then? Maybe, she did lie to him for who knows how long. Yet, he feels as though she doesn't even fully understand the weight of what she's doing.

He's angry, frustrated, confused, but mostly he feels betrayed and used. This feeling isn't new to him. He's used to people trying to get close to him because of his money. But he never expected it from the people he loves. From the person who's supposed to love him for him, not his money.

He lets out a dark, defeated laugh. Feeling all of his frustration building up, just waiting to be released. He just wished it wasn't with you, he wishes it was with anyone but you. Yet he doesn't stop himself either. And maybe the dark part of him doesn't want to. The screwed up part of his mind wants you to feel the way he did when you broke his heart. It convinces him that you deserve every word he's about to crush your heart with.

“Thanks Y/N” he can feel his heart drop when he meets your hopeful eyes. He knows what he's about to say next will only destroy sliver of hope for this friendship you both have worked so hard to build.

“Thank you for trying to sabotage my relationship with Elena.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he wishes he could take them right back. He hates seeing your face turn from hope and love to shock and hurt in only a few words.

“I trusted you, after these past few months of repairing out relationship. I thought you supported me. But clearly I was wrong.” he runs a shaky hand through his hair. Trying to stop himself from crying. Why is he doing this? Because he thinks you deserve it? That's bullcrap and he knows it. You may have broken his heart a year ago, but he broke your long before then. He freaking hates himself for it.

“You were just trying to get in the way of my happy relationship, because if Y/F/N Y/L/N can't move on, neither can I, right? I'm an idiot for even thinking I could trust you again. It was clearly a mistake, one I'll make sure to never make again.” He knows he’s going too far, but his anger is clouding his judgment.

At least it was, but now, seeing you on the verge of tears, waiting you fight desperately to keep from crying. All he wants to do is pull you into his chest and never stop apologizing. But he can't, not here, not right now. Especially not now, after everything he just said. It wouldn't be fair to you, not after how badly he's treating you. It's not fair, none of this is.

“After all, you broke my heart and betrayed my trust once before. Why did I bother trusting you again.” No matter how strong you try to act, Bucky can see the tears your struggling to hold back. Seeing you so hurt, hurting because of him. Because he's a freaking jerk. He hates it. He can see just how badly those last words hurt you. He knew how badly they would.

It makes him hate himself for even trying to put the blame in this situation on you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Yet he was treating you like this whole situation was your fault.

Carefully, he watches you slowly register his harsh words. Before you pick up the pieces of your broken heart. The sight makes his eyes burn with unwashed tears. He wants so badly for this to just be a nightmare. He wants to wake up and everything be back to the way it used to be.

“Happy New Year.” his heart hurts at the bitterness in your words. He knows he deserves so much worse. He wants you to yell at him, to punch him. He wants anything other than this. He doesn't want you to go. He doesn't want to go to bed knowing that you're probably crying yourself to sleep. What right does he have to worry about that, you're crying because of him after all.

Mindlessly Bucky walks into the empty kitchen, when he hears Elena let out a relieved sigh. Which only pushes him closer to the edge. “I was worried that you would be mad at-” Bucky cuts her off before she can even dare to finish that sentence.

“That I would be what? Mad at you? Well you're wrong. I am pissed.” the end comes out in a dark growl. “What the heck was that anyway?” he lets his anger out now. Now that you're gone he doesn't care who sees it.

“Excuse me?” Elena asks, shock etched on her face.

“Why did my ex-girlfriend just congratulate me on my engagement? Our engagement, last time I checked I never proposed.” his last words come out more bitter than he meant for them to. He walks over to the bar, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. Accidentally slamming the glass onto the counter a little harder than he meant to.

“And somehow that's not even the worst part. On top of that she tells me that you're using me. And for what? Money?” he drinks the strong liquor in one gulp. Letting his frustration out in a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“The longer you're quiet the more suspicious you look.” he says after a few minutes of tense silence. He pours himself another drink, making a b-line for the door. He realizes he doesn’t even want to hear whatever crap excuse Elena plans on telling him.

“James wait.” he hears the desperation in Elena's voice calling out from behind him. But he doesn’t stop. “Yes, everything Y/N said is true. I was in the hallway talking to my dad. But I promise I don't have any bad intentions. I love you so much James, I promise. I never meant to hurt you.” Bucky whips around, looking at her. Hoping, praying, to find some sort of truth behind her hazel eyes. If it's there he doesn't notice.

“Why did you lie about being engaged?” She pauses for a second, pondering over her answer. Before taking a deep breath. Bucky asks the easy question first, not quite ready to hear why she might be using him.

“I have always felt insecure in our relationship when it comes to Y/N, I know that no matter how hard I try or how much I love you. You will always love her more. I get that, she has a special place in your heart. She always will. She was your first true love after all.” she takes a small cautious step closer to him.

“I guess I thought that if I went through the motions of a bride… that maybe it would help me to become more… confident, maybe? But I guess I mostly wanted to know more about the woman who will always hold a place in your heart.” Bucky watches her carefully as she speaks. Trying to see if she’s really telling the truth.

“I figured, ‘why not, then I’ll get to learn more about Y/N, maybe see what made James fell so deeply in love with her.’ Now that I’m saying all this aloud it sounds really childish, doesn’t it.” she laughs a bit awkwardly. Bucky nods his head, he understands her reasoning behind what she did. She has every right to feel insecure when it comes to you.

Before they started dating she was one of the few people who actually saw what their breakup was doing to him. She watched as he slowly picked up the pieces of his heart, he was a complete wreck. Elena never saw anyone so damaged after a breakup, so empty. There were days she thought he would never get over you. But he did, he had to. A part of Elena hated Y/N for what she did to him. But for Bucky’s sake she kept her thoughts to herself. Now she’s grateful for it. Because if you never broke his heart then Elena never would have had a chance with him. It’s messed up in so many ways. But it’s the truth.

He takes a deep breath, readying himself for his next question. “And the money?” He says a little harsher than he meant to. He’s used to being around people who just want to use him for the money, he just never thought it would date one of them.

“I didn’t want to bring it up, but… you know my mom is sick. She can get treatment, but it’s really expensive and we don’t really have the money for it at the moment. I didn’t want to bring it up because money is an uncomfortable topic. My family thought if I asked you to pay for it then you would say yes.” she smiles awkwardly, choosing to look at her hands rather than Bucky. “I was planning on asking you, I wasn’t just going to take it!” She quickly blurts out, she doesn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

Bucky has known about Elena’s mother for a while now. Even though he has never met her parents he wouldn’t pass up a chance to help them. He sighs, feeling the tiniest bit of relief. Although he can’t shake the uneasy feeling in his gut. He quickly pushes the feeling down.

“You don’t have to be nervous asking me to help your family. Of course I will. She’s your mom.” he offers her a small smile. Trying his best to put on a happy front for her.

“Thank you, James!” excitedly she throws her arms around his waist, wrapping him a in hug. He wraps his free hand around her shoulders. Using his other hand to sip his drink. What used to bring him warmth and comfort, now only feels cold and foreign to him.

You aren’t sure how you made it home without completely falling apart. You aren’t even sure how you got home general. The last thing you remember is Bucky choosing to believe Elena over you. Everything else is a blur.

You sit down on the cold tile of the shower. Letting the hot water wash over you, washing away your silent tears. Though the hot water doesn’t seem to doing much to warm your cold body. As you sit there, the events of not even an hour ago play over and over again in your mind. Somehow getting worse each time you go through them.

When Nat gets home it’s nearly three a.m. She tries her best to be quiet. Not that it matters, you aren’t asleep anyway. After your shower you were able to find and put on an old t-shirt from a band that you don’t even listen to anymore, and a pair of cotton shorts to wear to bed. When you hear your roommate shuffling around the kitchen, you get up without thinking. You need your best friend right now.

Slowly you make your way into the small kitchen. The only source of light in the dark apartment is coming from the dim light above the sink. Natasha doesn’t even have to turn around to know you’re sitting at the counter behind her.

“Sorry, did I wake you? I tried to be quiet, I assumed that you would be asleep since you left the party early.” Even though she can’t see you, you shake your head. A worded response takes up too much energy that you don’t have. She keeps talking.

“Steve and Sam were pretty insulted when they found out you left without saying bye to them.” You don’t have to see her face to know she’s smirking. When she turns around the smirk that was once planted on her lips dies as soon as she takes in your appearance.

She looks you over, noticing every detail. Your eyes are puffy and bloodshot, your nose is pink from blowing it too many times to keep count and your cheeks are stained with dried tears.

Without saying anything she rushes over to your side and pulls you into a hug. She doesn’t have to ask to know why you’ve been crying. She already knows. You sigh, leaning into her embrace, feeling the slightest bit of relief from her hug. After a while of silence Nat speaks softly. “How ���bout I make us some tea, yeah?” she smiles kindly at you.

Only a few minutes later you both have a hot cup of tea and a plate of crackers placed on the nightstand next to your bed. While Nat was making the tea she sent you to your room. Feeling a bit more relaxed than before. “Wanna talk about it?” Nat asks gently from her spot next to you.

“Not really.” you manage to push out in a whisper. “Want me to leave?” you shake your head at her question. “No.” you know she wouldn’t leave even if you told her you wanted to be alone. Natasha may not always look it, but she’s always been there for you in your hardest time. Now being one of them.

Even with all the thoughts you have flowing through your mind you let the exhaustion of the day take over, allowing you to fall asleep.

The next morning Nat wakes in your bed, you didn’t want to be alone so she stayed the night in your room. The early morning sun peaking through the curtains. She looks over to where you were sleeping, surprised when you aren’t there.

Hurriedly, she jumps out of bed before checking the clock on your nightstand, ‘7:30′. She feels her worry disappear when she’s greeted with the smell of fresh coffee and bacon. Tiredly, she makes her way into the kitchen. Surprise replaces any other emotion she may be feeling when she sees you. Your appearance is completely different from last night, it’s like you’re a different person all together.    

“Good morning.” You greet your friend with a smile when you see her stumble into the kitchen. Nat gives you a strange look in return, not quite sure how to take in the person in front of her, Not even five hours ago did she find you in a broken state. But now it’s like last night never even happened.

Your hair has been pulled into a loose bun, to keep out of your face while you cook. You’re wearing a white t-shirt that has been tucked into a loose pair of striped pants  that you tend to wear on your day off. The part that surprises her most is that you even went to the trouble of applying the tiniest amount of makeup.

You can’t help but giggle at her reaction. “What? Do I have something on my face?” You tease her, knowing exactly why she’s staring at you. She knows what you’re doing, but answers anyway. “Yes! You do, makeup. Not only that, but you’re dressed. Why are you dressed, better question, why are you even awake? You should be sleeping until noon, not seven am. Especially after the...” She pauses her rant for a second to think of a proper word. “Eventful night you just had.” you don’t bother hiding your amusement.

If you’re being honest, you’re kind of surprised yourself this morning as well. When you woke up, your mind felt surprisingly clear, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. “Calm down before you hurt yourself.” you point the spoon you were using to mix your coffee at her. Then she looks at you expectantly, clearly waiting for some type of answer.

You sigh, “I don’t want to be one of those girls who don’t leave their bed for days on end because some guy hurt her feelings.” You say it like it’s the easiest thing in the word.

“So you’re just going to pretend everything is okay without even talking about.” her words may be firm, but you can see the concern behind them. “No, but what good will it do if I sit at home wallowing in self-pity? Of course I’m upset and hurt over what happened. You saw me last night. I wouldn’t exactly say I was doing all that great. Besides, dwelling on what happened will only hurt me more than accepting it.” You stop, giving her a chance to protest, or to share her thoughts. She stays quiet. Which is rare coming from Natasha Romanoff.

So you continue, “He believed her over me, sure it stings. But she is his fiancee after all. Of course he’s going to believe her. What he said wasn’t all that nice either, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t deserve every word.” You place a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Nat, placing one next to her for yourself.

She stares down at the food in front of her with a blank face. Then she looks up at you smiling, “That’s my girl, not letting Bucky Barnes control your life. It’s about time.” she laughs, offering her hand for a high-five. Then she gives you a look, you already know what she’s thinking.

“But we’re still talking about this. I need to know how much damage I need to do to Barnes.” Her smile tells you she’s only joking. Nat has a rule that whenever something happens, instead of keeping it to ourselves and letting our bitter feelings fester. We talk about it, work it out. She knows you like to keep things to yourself, which is an unhealthy habit of yours.

Then see looks at you again, a confused expression etched on her face. “Wait, did you just say Barnes is engaged? Since when?”

“Are we gonna go for a run or are you just gonna stare at the ceiling all day?” Steve asks, leaning his huge body on the door frame to Bucky’s room. He lets out an annoyed groan before getting out of bed.

Bucky didn’t sleep a wink last night, he kept replaying everything that happened over and over in his head. He can only imagine you’re probably feeling about ten-times worse than he is. Which only adds to his already guilty conscience.

“I think the only way he’ll stop is if he passes out.” Sam says jokingly, despite his joking tone there’s a hint of worry behind his words. He’s sitting next to Steve a bench watching Bucky sprint circles around the small park near his apartment.

Even on his best days Steve has never seen him run so fast. “Maybe we should stop him.” Sam had only been going on morning runs with Bucky and Steve for a few months now. “Give him a second, he’s losing steam.” as soon as the words leave his mouth they watch him finally stop. Dropping to the ground.

He’s never run so fast in his life, his irritation fueling him. Pushing him to run faster and faster. He doesn't care that his lungs are burning, begging for fresh air, that his legs hurt more and more with each step. Running is the only way he can focus, clear his mind.

When he finally stops everything hurts. But he doesn't care, he would run for a hundred more miles if his body would let him. He finally let's his body relax when he sits down in the damp grass.

It had been raining all night, it seems even the weather knows of Bucky's inner battle. Despite Elena explaining everything Y/N overheard. He still can't help but wonder if she's actually telling him the truth. He hates that he's doubting her, but he knows Y/N would never lie about something like this. You aren't that kind of person... unless there's a part of you that is. He hates that he's even thinking that. This whole situation is messed up in so many different ways. He's doubting you both and can't seem to know who to believe.

He's pulled out of his disarray of thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder.“Hey Buck, you training for a marathon you didn’t tell me about?” Steve smirks at his best friend who just rolls his eyes. “Shut it, punk.” He takes Steve’s outstretched hand, helping him off the damp grass. “How ‘bout we grab some coffee.” Bucky nods his head in agreement, he never has been one to turn down coffee easily.

“I’m telling you, Steve. You should probably do it before your eightieth birthday.” Sam has been on Steve’s case about proposing to Peggy for months now. Bucky normally helps in the game of ‘good cop bad cop’ Today Sam has to take on both roles. “I already told you my plan for London.” Sam eyes him, “I know, just gotta make sure you don’t chicken out before then.” Steve lets out a chuckle when Sam’s phone starts to ring. “Gotta take this.” with that he walks away. Leaving Bucky and Steve.

“Okay, what’s going on? You’ve been out of it all day. Don’t think Sam and I haven’t noticed.” Steve interrogates him with a stern voice. “And don’t be a punk and say ‘it’s nothing’ I’ve only seen you run like that a handful of times. It’s usually when you have a lot on your mind.” Bucky slouches deeper into his seat, wishing he could just disappear. He isn’t ready to discuss the events of last night just yet. Even with his best friends.

His face grows softer when he realizes what the problem may be, “Does it have to do with what happened with Y/N at the party last night?” Bucky looks at his friend, slightly shocked but not entirely surprised. Steve always had a way with knowing what’s wrong

“Tony said he saw her leaving, said she looked upset. He was too far away to get to her in time. But figured Nat would take care of her.” he answers Bucky’s question without even having to ask. “This really isn’t the place Steve.” he nods in understanding. “You’ll have to talk about it eventually, Buck.” He smiles sadly at his best friend. “I know.”

Tag List:

@justreadingfics // @void-imaginations // @the-canary // @invisibleanonymousmonsters // @soopranatural // @taliarosej00 // @bloodyproudpotterhead 

[gentleoverdrive]

After the frenetic struggle faced by the two jogging buddies Alm and Lucina, the first weekend after the school term arrives. As Saturday breaks in, Ephraim finds himself an unlikely breakfast buddy. Will he be able to consume his tacos? And what of his carefully constructed image?

Saturday Morning: At Little Chalphy’s kitchen. (9 AM) Sitting at the cozy table within the kitchen, a young man was trying to help himself to the delicious treats two of his earnest dorm-mates helped prepare for the weekend. Thanks to the efforts of his twin sister and a certain Zofian boy, the tortillas Ephraim McFadden stuffed with delicious spit-grilled pork meat were a feast for a hangover that seems bent on haunting his morning. He felt, however, that the woman keeping him company was most definitely harshing his mellow with her prim and proper demeanor. Something had to be done and, heavens help him, he might have to be the one to do it. “Y’know, teach? If you keep coming here every single day, I’m pretty sure Cory ain’t the only one that’s gonna end up hating you” A delicate, dignified chuckle escaped her lips with the smallest of efforts. “Oh, you are such a joker, McFadden. Why would you dare suggest that my cute little sister does not love me back?” It felt like someone had sprinkled dusted jalapeño directly into his eyes. He absolutely doesn’t have the fortitude for this so early in the morning. “Because it’s Saturday morning, I’m trying to watch my breakfast and eat my goddamn cartoons, that aforementioned cute little sis of yours locked herself in her room and I’m pretty sure you have like 3 classes today in as many campuses. Now can I go back to my tacos?” “A young man eating by himself is just such a sad, sad sight to witness” “Aaaaannnd of course you’re not listening to me. Fantastic” Ephraim put his taco down and got off his seat. “Look, you might want to reconsider this whole endeavor of going after the one guy who managed to kick your ass; like I’m positive he already has his hands full being Anthiese’s super butler or whatever” He added, while looking for something within the fridge. “Plus, carving up his face seems like a very unintuitive way to net yourself a date, if we’re being honest” “Oh? And what would a dating master of such renown like yourself might suggest I do to hone my approach?” “Well, maybe try approaching that person you fancy like an equal? If you say something extreme as ‘Be mine!’ or putting them people in a pedestal, of course that’s gonna turn people off. We’re talking about a person with an agenda of their own, teach; if you treat that person you fancy like they’re either a prize to be earned or a mindless hunk of meat, of course the cold shoulder is the logical result” He grabbed the milk and a banana off the fridge. “Then again, some men love that, so what do I know?” “And yet he has remained every bit the polite gentleman towards me” Ephraim let out a drawn-out sigh while looking at the top shelves right next to the fridge, when he finally happened upon the bowl he was looking for. “That’s just common decency. Now tell me: Has he treated you any differently than he has literally anybody but Anthiese? Because she’s the one that gets the super duper, big, fancy, bells, cowbells and whistles pimped-out special deal, and I’m like… 90% sure that’s not just because she’s his employer” Ephraim placed the milk, banana and bowl right in front of Camilla before quickly moving to the opposite shelves. Slightly bemused at his seeming restlessness, she started following him around with her eyes. “Whatever do you mean? I see no such difference in the treatment he has given me at all when compared to his mistress” It was at that moment that Ephraim bumped his forehead against the bottom edge of the shelf. “D’ah! F—damn!” He briefly complained while rubbing his forehead, before finally chancing upon the thing he was looking for: chocolate-covered cereal; which he quickly placed in front of Camilla. “Are… owwwww… are you one hundred percent sure that you don’t see any difference, whatsoever, in how he treats you, your little sis, yours truly and the rest of the dorm plus however many peeps he interacts outside of here and how he treats the girl that walks with a skip in her step to school and sometimes even does a little happy dance whenever she so much as talks to him early morning?” “I sure wish I had the attention to detail you have” “Oh, for f— how is that information a secret to you?! You’ve been coming here for the past three days to stalk / harass Alm without fail. How—” A slam on the table interrupted him. “I. Am not. Harassing. Him” She closed the distance between them in a second as she grabbed his shirt’s neck, but Ephraim remained unfazed beyond raising his left eyebrow in mild surprise. “Sure, whatever” Suddenly, Ephraim jumped out at a realization. “Ah! You need a spoon and knife” “I don’t care what you think about me” Camilla’s usually easy-going expression had taken a turn for the sullen. “Psshyeah you do” He snorted after saying as much. He quickly made for the lower shelves this time and found a smaller-sized spoon, placing it to the left of the bowl while he looked at Camilla’s right eye. “Takes one to know one, after all; and you, Camilla Krakenberg, are so darn starved for the bare-assest of interactions and basic affection now that your little sis is out in the world on her own and benched your ass, that you’ve been harassing a kid whose only folly on this whole thing is that he interrupted you from unleashing the murder fury on some rapey idiot. Yes, I’m completely on your side in that said shithead probably had it coming. But why did you think that harming the him, not to mention THE CROWN PRINCESS OF A HALIDOM THAT REPRESENTS A CONTINENT THAT’S JUST FINALLY RECOVERING FROM A DEVASTATING WAR WAS A GOOD IDEA?” For a second, Camilla’s right eye betrayed no emotion… until Ephraim’s words found its target. She covered her mouth with her right hand, letting out the faintest of gasps as she slowly lowered her head, looking down at the table and suddenly looking back at her actions in a new, disturbing light. “Oh” “Oh indeed. Hell, you’re so desperate for interaction that you’re allowing a complete jackass to dress you down and smack your emotional ass all up in this bitch” If Ephraim was good at using his self-loathing for something, he wasn’t precisely subtle about it. But sometimes subtlety needs to take a rain-check. “You don’t know me at all” Even with how aggrieved Camilla sounded, hearing her spout that hackneyed phrase only reinforced Ephraim’s stance. “Perhaps I don’t. But this front you’re putting up? This commodity? It ain’t gonna do squat for you in the long term. Worst of all: I’m not telling you anything new, am I? Someone has trotted this out to you, if not verbatim, then at least more or less something similar to this spiel in the past, isn’t it?” In truth, nobody had given Camilla this kind of talk before. Now Camilla was looking down for the count, and Ephraim realized his words’ true weight almost right away. ‘Oh my gods, this is the first actual time she’s been given a ‘talk’ on this level, hasn’t she? Ugh, fuck my life’ His thoughts were now the real mess. ‘Now, whatever you do next, don’t try to comf—’ “Uh… wanna hug?” He spoke before further articulating that last thought. “… I’d like that” Her response blindsided him. ‘NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You idiot! You absolute moron! YOU BIG. FUCKING. PALOOKA! Stop that shit right now. You stop it. StopItStopItStopItStopItStopIt—’ His head was going haywire, even as he tried to play it cool externally as he opened his arms. ‘No! Don’t Open Up! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, YOU DUMBASS?!’ Alas, it was too late. Now Camilla was letting out choked-out sobs as she buried her face on his right shoulder while her arms found firm comfort around his back. Meanwhile, Ephraim’s left hand patted her head, while his right one rested chastely on her mid-section. “There. That’s fine” When he briefly looked in the direction of the living room, he saw his sister, Corrin and Lucina staring dumb-founded at his current situation. ‘Are you ok?’ Eirika used sign language when she realized she had her brother’s attention. Since Ephraim had one of his hands in a somewhat compromised position, he had to improvise, so he gave his sister a thumbs-up, a wink using his right eye, and finally a combination of both his eyes and forming a rather awkward arrow with his left hand letting them know that the coast was clear and to head for the door. Eirika returned the thumbs up which she followed by tugging Corrin’s shirt so that they could get a move on. Lucina mouthed off a ‘Thank you!’ while Corrin simply waved at him. Once they left, Ephraim let out a sigh of relief. Coming to terms at Camilla’s hold on him not showing signs of stopping any time soon, the normally blunter of the two McFadden twins decided he might as well go the full nine yards and properly hug Camilla Krakenberg. ‘Well, whatever! Let this be my good deed for the day’ With his thoughts offering a respite, Ephraim grinned, not seemingly caring about the fact that his breakfast was getting colder.

Meanwhile… Outside Fjalar Rentals. (10 AM) Hector tried to get himself comfortable at the Rental Agency’s waiting lobby. “Man, these seats just plain aren’t designed for anybody with an actual ass” “Did I hear that just now? Is Hector Kormorane actively complaining about his resilient, powerful body in plain sight? Please, say it ain’t so” “Spare me the dumb quips, Eli” While deadpanning wasn’t his forte, Hector’s stink-eye game was strong indeed. “So, whaddya got there?” “Lemon-flavored and peach-flavored soda” Eliwood revealed two cans of soda. “So, which one’s gonna be?” “Hmm…” Hector deliberated for a moment before shrugging. “Eh, whichever one you don’t want is fine with me, man” “Fair enough” Eliwood hands his brother from another mother the Lemon-flavored beverage. “Pfft!” Hector was barely able to keep himself from guffawing. “Really now” The snickering was rather uncommon for a man who so often appeared like an open book to those closest to him. Eliwood’s eyes often did a lot of the talking for him, and in this case they showed a barely repressed need to smack his best friend upside the head. “So, why are we getting another rental car?” But more important that his need to visit a physical comeback was the query he just made. “Because” Hector’s cursory retort felt like he was dodging the topic. But Eliwood wasn’t having any of that. “Hec, Miss Eirika and Ephraim literally have a car that we can borrow whenever we need to, even if it’s for going on foolish errands; all we need is to do is let them know beforehand” “Dude, they were just being polite. They don’t actually expect us to ask them to borrow their car for reals in the first place” “Are you sure?” “I don’t know, Eli! I’m just saying. Do you think Miss Eirika’s gonna be all hunky dory with the potential prospects of either you or me getting busy in her car?” The quick back and forth between the Lycian league boys left one of them with much to think of. “... maybe?” Or perhaps not, it seems. Eliwood Faeris was, first and foremost, an idealist. “See? That’s your problem, Eli: You’re too much of an optimist” Hector was quick to latch on to that in order to try and get his best bud to be on his guard more from time to time.

“Hello, dears” As the voice that came from behind was a rather unfamiliar one, they both appeared unsure as to know how to react.

“See, I don’t think that’s a pro—AAAAAH!” “Dude, what’s your—G’AAAHHH!” They both went with their gut. An ungraceful result, all things considered. “Calm down, would you? She don’t bite or anything” “Not to be a douche nozzle or anything Ephs, but I think we’re within our rights to be spooked at seeing Teach Krakenberg with you on our day off” “Well, ya’ gotta start rolling with the punches better, then!” Hector slicked back the bangs off his forehead while looking at the person that, earlier in the week, had made an attempt on the life of two of his dorm mates, sighing once he was done fixing up his bangs properly. “I’ve held back my tongue due to Alm asking us to not be too hard on you. Little dude is a fucking trooper” “He is quite the catch, is he not? Hmmmmm… I wonder what will it—” “I was not finished” Hector slapped his left knee. “I’ve only known him and Luci for a little over a week, so I’m not gonna say that ‘oh! Best Friends Forever!’ or any of that sappy-ass nonsense. But I’m starting to get friendly with them; yes, Lucina is a pest of a girl whose constant curiosity drives me nuts, and yes, I sorely wish she would stop putting her foot in her mouth non-stop, but deep down she’s an OK kid. Hell, she very much feels like a little—” “AHHH, found it!” And before Hector could finish his sentence, his friend cut him off. “Dammit, Eli! I am pouring my heart out h—wait, what did you find?” “Remember when I told you that Ms. Anthiese looked familiar?” Hector’s eyebrows spoke volumes for him. “Whaddya mean?” He still felt like inquiring further, however. “Peep this right here” Eliwood shared his phone with Hector and the Ostian youth quickly found out what his oath brother meant. On the screen, a video played, with Anthiese herself appearing to hold a snow-white cat in her arms. Before long, both Ephraim and Camilla were hovering over them. Noticing this, Eliwood quickly rewound the video back to the beginning. The video description read… 366 likes / 5.2k reproductions ZofianCatLover ‘The cute cats of Sailane! Cannot miss it for anything in the world!’ #Traveling #Silesse #Sailane #Weekend #ZofianCatLover #OnePettingAtATime 2 hours ago. “Alm! Look at this plump little boy here!” Meanwhile, the video put her affectionate tones out in front when dangling her fingers above the aforementioned feline, which were rather odd for all three boys to see, especially given how composed the Zofian heiress behaved herself among them. “Isn’t he handsome?” “He sure is!” Even with the less-than-stellar audio, all 4 of them could recognize that voice immediately. For a few seconds after the video looped back to the beginning, everyone kept silent. “Whoa. WHAT? Is that the same ‘ice queen’ Riky has tried to get chummy with?” Among the currently present, nobody could buy just how sweet Anthiese Lima really sounded. Her calm, dignified disposition contrasted so badly with her current actions and tone on display. The biggest surprise, however, happened when the video got to the part where she reached with her right hand at the direction of the camera to grab the device; after a few seconds of shaky movements, Celica had stabilized the camera’s focus while her free arm found itself around the neck of a familiar young man. Alm himself looked supremely awkward standing around with Anthiese’s arm around him. The goofy and somewhat twitchy smile he was sporting while also holding the white cat in his arms spoke of the fact that he was probably the regular behind the camera lens in these videos. All hell broke loose, however, when she rested her head against Alm’s shoulder. “Oh my” While Camilla’s subdued response was expected… “NO WWWAAAAAYYYYY!”  Ephraim, Hector and Eliwood’s exclamation fetched a lot of stares from the people around them, especially so when they synched up their respective expressions of astonishment. Camilla looked somewhat askance by the juvenile outburst demonstrated by the trio of students. “Duuude!” “SWEET!” “You better believe!” Ephraim raised both hands up, which both the Lycian league youths immediately capitulated by high-fiving him. “So, what are the odds that they’re actually dating?” Eliwood’s query did not have a specific recipient. “That’s a 10/11 right there. No-brainer” Yet Ephraim felt confident enough replying to his junior. All of a sudden, Camilla felt even more out of place than before. “Why are you so invested in Alm and little Anthiese being an item?” “Because we’ve been here for a week and in that time we had—drumroll please Señor Ephraim” Ephraim obliged Faeris’ request by using Hector’s shoulder as a makeshift snare drum, while Eliwood and Hector took a deep breath. ♪ “4 insult challenges” ♫ “3 DC probations” ♫ “2 Cook-offs” ♪ “1 bungled kidnapping” In that moment, the trio stopped singing and alternated between tap-dancing and stomping around for a cool 5-second interlude. When their brief dance number came to an end, all three opted to strike a pose, using their left arm to motion a jazz hand in Camilla’s direction. ♪ “And a foiled muuuuurrrdeeer aaatteeempt!” ♫ Camilla was rather miffed at being reminded of the actions she performed a couple of days ago. Since she decided to be a good sport, however, the martial arts instructor decided to indulge the trio by offering a few claps for their attempts. “Riveting”   Before long, however, they were all interrupted by a man tapping on Hector’s shoulder. “Are you Hector Kormorane?” “Indeed! Whaddya got for me, buddy” “Well, given your previously stated satisfaction and user review from your first rental, we’ve thought… well, if you look to your left, you’ll see” Upon chancing a glance at the new rental they were being offered, both Eliwood Faeris and Hector Kormorane very loud, unbridled expressions of shock rendered them speechless for a spell. “It’s—” “A TRUE BEAUTY!” Both 3rd years ran towards the car, feeling as though it was a mirage bound to disappear before they could reach it. “Uh—” The rental agency employee was left feeling understandably stumped at both kids making a mad dash, especially with the key component still being in the palm of his hand. Luckily, one person remained with his feet down on earth. “It's fine, I’ll take the keys” And Ephraim did just that.

[apawcalypse632-blog]

Building Trust

Read on AO3:   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039812

Chapters 1/1  Words:18655

Summary:

When Tony and Peter get trapped in a building a few months after The Vulture, Tony uses it as a chance for them to get to know each other.

Tags: Miscarriage, Claustrophobia, partly non cannon - I do what i want, Infertility, Tony and Peter father and son, all errors grammatical or otherwise are my own,.I'm not a doctor or a construction worker, talks about people who are dead, Angst, head cannons accepted, Suicidal Thoughts,Big Bang Challenge

Peter had once read that Finland had one of the worst winters on the planet. It was in one those top ten BuzzFeed articles and at the time he’d thought nothing of ever needing to know this information. That, however, was before Spiderman, before Mr. Stark and before the Avengers - because here he was on the top of a building, designated as a look out along with the Falcon, freezing. He didn’t know if Falcon felt the same chill, as he was on the building catty corner to him Peter hadn’t thought Finland would be this cold, but he couldn’t disagree that Finland had harsh winters, as he was feeling the harsh cold wind even with his spidey suit on and heater running at full blast. He wasn’t about to complain though. This was his first major Avengers mission since Homecoming and the Vulture. He wasn’t an official Avenger, yet. Mr. Stark referred to him as an “Avenger in training”. Which meant two to three days a week he trained with one of the Avengers. This was even more awesome then it sounded. He enjoyed getting to know them one on one. Or he tried to. The first time he met Cap in person, Peter had been so excited and spellbound, he didn’t say a word for about fifteen minutes, just nods and hand gestures. Peter had been thoroughly embarrassed by his behavior when he was in the lab with Mr. Stark later. Mr. Stark had assured him it was fine, and that Cap had thought it was endearing.

“Endearing.” He’d moaned covering his face back up with the pillow on Mr. Starks old couch. “That’s like saying ‘cute’. I’m fifteen, I’m not cute.” Peter could feel the mechanic raise his eyebrow. “You know what I mean.” “It’s fine kiddo, I promise. It’s not like with black widow where you called her a mama spider.” “I just meant that she is protective and has maternal instincts.” He tried to explain. “Even if true, don’t upset a spy kid. It won’t end well for anyone. Besides Cap understands that your nervousness is 50% looking up to him and 50% hero worship.” Peter groaned and buried his face under the pillow.” Mr. Stark grinned. “I promise, it’s fine.”

“Look alive kid.” Falcon called in the com.

Making Peter blush as he came back to the present and looked around. He really should have his entire attention on what’s up. He just found distracting himself made him less cold. Peter looked up from his position. “Right, sorry.” His teeth chattered a bit and he shivered.

“The cold giving you problems Pete?” Mr. Stark asked.

“Didn’t you give him a heater, Tony?” Cap asked.

“Of course, I did, and by my calculations he’s been running it at full tilt for about 45 minutes.”

“That’s right.” Bruce chimed in before he could say anything more. ”Spiders don’t thermal regulate. I bet you don’t adjust to cold weather well at all. This must be awful for you.”

“I could give you a lift back to the jet if need be. Bruce won’t mind company.” Tony offered.

“No Mr. Stark I’m good. Really.” He said moving along the edge of the roof trying to get warmer.

“Ok we only have about twenty to thirty left.”

“Only,” Hawkeye tutted, and Peter saw one explode from what must have been an arrow.

“As I was saying before the interruption,” Mr. Stark cut in, “We are dwindling them down.

When we’re down to five to ten you can come down and help finish off. Falcon is coming now, so it’s just you on lookout kid.”

“Sounds good.” Falcon stated. And Peter watched the wings span as he headed for the ground.

“Sure thing Mr. Stark.” Peter said with a smile. He was going to fight Alien Robots sometimes his life really was amazing.

Peter worked to keep his mind on the task at hand after that, really, he was excited to be here and not just about first avenger missions, but it was kind of hard to not be excited about alien robots, because honestly, they were awesome looking. It reminded him of a kitten - cute on the outside, murderous rage on the inside. He sighed. He would be in on the action soon enough and if he was moving more, he might be warmer He knew Mr. Stark had his reasons for keeping him on the roof and not in the fray, but he was a little annoyed to be stuck as a look out. He wouldn’t complain about this, because being here was awesome. His whole life was awesome. Well sort of. He’d lost his parents and uncle far too soon and he and Aunt May struggled, but they had each other, there was food – maybe not enough, but enough to get by. And now he had Mr. Stark. Since the events with the Vulture, Mr. Stark was trying to make amends and train him and finally be a mentor to him.

He climbed up on the ledge checking that all signs were clear and trying to see any more of the fight, which he couldn’t now. It had moved further up the road. He sat down on the edge of the building swinging his legs a bit. He took a deep breath trying to soak in everything. He was with the Avengers, doing Avenger-y stuff. It gave him such a thrill. After he turned down his chance at being an avenger, probably the dumbest thing he’d ever done, he was sure Mr. Stark was totally done with him. Then the man had returned the suit and sent a text message the next day asking if they could meet to discuss the mentorship/internship.Peter had hesitated. Aunt May had told him he was grounded from everything but school until further notice. She had not been thrilled to find out her fifteen-year-old child was a vigilante. But Peter saw the perks of a meeting with Tony and His Aunt, hopes that Tony could persuade her where he couldn’t. He’d agreed to meet and made plans for all three of them to gather the next day at a coffee shop near his school. When they had arrived, his Aunt May had been ticked and immediately began giving Mr. Stark a piece of her mind. Pepper had stood in the background obviously amused at Mr. Stark's discomfort. But after ten minutes had stepped in to help. She’d calmed May down, had given her tea and some cookies and they began discussing how this would all work. When they came back around to Peter being grounded and not being allowed to meet with Tony yet, all three adults had turned to give him looks ranging from disapproval to glaring. Suddenly he wondered what made him think this was a good idea. Tony had relented first, and promised Peter could start the internship after his grounding was over and that he would do his best to not let things interfere with school or any extra curriculars. May had then reluctantly agreed, much to Peters delight, and informed Peter he would be in the dog house awhile as his grounding was three weeks and school, decathlon and home were the only places he could go. Also, he was put in charge of all chores around the apartment. Peter would have tried to talk his way out of it, spiderman existed because he wanted to fix things and help people, but his grounding wasn’t really him being spiderman, that wasn’t the biggest problem to May. It was the lying and leaving her out of it all. She wasn’t thrilled with him being in danger, but Mr. Stark agreed that he had the absolute best for his suit, and he’d be getting training from the best. Plus, he was on top of keeping the kid’s identity a secret. They’d left, not before Peter gave a giant thank you to the man who had always been his hero. Tony had smiled and told him not to thank him.

Peter had thanked May and been happy to have her know. They talked a little about what had happened but May seemed a little distant about things. Peter couldn’t blame her it was a big shift to find your nephew was a superhero. The three weeks had not flown by. He’d been bored with zero electronics and only school to see his friends. Ned had been supportive and tried to cheer him up. MJ without even knowing why he was grounded had insisted it must be serious if he was being punished for so long and therefore his fault. He knew she was right, but it didn’t make it easier.

When the three weeks had ended, he was thrilled. He and Mr. Stark met at the compound after Happy had picked him up from school. They had a late lunch and laid out some ground rules and gone over the schedule. Mr. Stark and he would meet two days a week and every other weekend. This gave him time for homework and friends and May and still left plenty of time for Spiderman. It was a good deal for Peter. He had been disappointed to learn his time wouldn’t be with just Iron Man but recovered quickly when he realized he would be taught by some of the other Avengers. Now when he arrived at the compound, he’d change into his workout clothes then proceeded to do a basic conditioning program (basic for a budding super hero), then two to three hours of training with one of the Avengers usually in combat or self-defense. Though Widow had started a tiny bit of spy training. Finally, he got to meet with Mr. Stark for dinner. Usually taken in the mess hall or the Avenger wing. Weekends were another day of training, and then a full day in the lab with Mr. Stark. That was the best part. Watching the way, the man worked, getting to help. Ned was super jealous, but Peter gave him all the descriptions of everything he could. Overall, it had only been a little over two months, but from what he could tell things were getting better. He knew and trained with the avengers, though he felt sometimes they treated him like a mascot. But he was so grateful to be here that he allowed their treatment and didn’t say anything. He just wanted to be on the team. Things were still a bit closed off between him and Mr. Stark. Their weekly meets were amazing, and he learned a lot, but the man seemed distant still. Mostly he talked about things anyone could hear about. Well until the last week or so. He’d begun to talk a bit about his wedding to Pepper which would be on June eighteenth of 2019. And probably a blow out in terms of party and cost. The date was not something anyone really knew, so Peter felt privileged to know.

They also had pretty good banter. Peter felt he could to an extent tease Mr. Stark and accept the same from him. They didn’t really goof off in the lab, but sometimes at dinner or training it would happen.

Peter did a quick look around and didn’t see anything. So, he checked up on the fight and they were down to fifteen. He decided to wait till they had twelve which wouldn’t be long. He thought about quickly pulling out his Stark phone and texting Ned. The phone and a new lab top had been courtesy of the “internship.” He had tried to politely refuse, but Aunt May had approved it. Peter felt like neither of them was making sense when that happened. Mr. Stark giving him some of the latest lap top and phone tech. Especially when he’d just been so pissed at him for the Ferry. May having just caught him in his suit a week before and her agreeing to such expensive items. It seemed outside of what he knew about them both. Aunt May had explained he was close to sixteen and therefore closer to eighteen and if she forbids him from this, he would just work harder to keep it from her. She knew he would keep doing this no matter what she and Mr. Stark might tell him. He had felt a bit bad because he knew she was right.

Peter shivered and ran his hands up and down his arms to get some warmth back into them. He was watching and waiting for the last two to take a hit before jumping into the fray. He wondered if because he was perched high on a roof if it was colder than usual. He looked around to see what was happening as part of his outlook duties he needed to look at places other than the fight. The fighting was mostly happening in the middle of four buildings. Peter could see Cap, Widow, Hawkeye and Scarlet all down in the middle of the action. Hulk hadn’t been called in yet but was on standby. Falcon was now down in the fray as well.

Peter sighed, he wouldn’t complain about being with the avengers out loud, but he was a little annoyed Mr. Stark had insisted Peter work as back up, despite the teens protest, as he was getting over a cold that had lasted two days and for Peter with the spider bite that was a long cold. Also, Mr. Stark pointed out he was “in training.” Peter had thought about commenting if that made Falcon in training too. But they weren’t there yet. The teen squatted down watching the fight, still pumped to go, in spite of his position, when they finished killing two more, make that one more, robot.

There was a low rumble then that caught Peter’s attention. The building across from him has been hit with an explosive device. Peter’s advanced hearing picked up a small scream and he began looking around. The area was to have been evacuated when they got there. Peter had helped with it. But looking down he saw a young girl probably around four, stumbling sleepily out of the room with blanket in hand. Peter slung his web and went swinging across what had become the battlefield again as the Avengers chased 11 robots through the streets.

“Kid?” Iron man shouted over the com, “What the heck are you doing?”

Peter focused on getting to the kid no one else saw, didn’t answer, just swung in front of her and swung her back and away from the damage. Then he left her with an EMT further away and came back to jump into the fray as he saw number eleven explode.

“Nice work on the kid, kid.” Mr. Stark said as Peter jumped in beside him. The teen grinned at him.

“Seems we got about ten left and that building needs rechecked. He pointed over towards the building where the child had come out of.

“I can do that.” Peter said heading to the building.

“Be careful Pete.” Iron Man said as he blasted number eight and nine out of the way.

“Always, Mr. Stark.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “If you get hurt, I have to tell Aunt May. No one wants that.” He said with a half-smile. He shot one the aliens in the face. “Remember that.”

“I’m not sure how that effects ME. Mr. Stark.”

“Brat.”

Peter chuckled and entered the blown-out side of the building being careful to watch for anything structurally unsound. Though he couldn’t imagine Mr. Stark sending him in without having checked for that first. He wasn’t far in when he felt his breath begin to quicken.

“You OK Spider.” It was Widow. He sighed sometimes he loved having the Avengers watch out for him and other days it was like having five older siblings and two extra parents, or maybe four older siblings and three extra parents. Peter got confused when he tried to figure out who the mom in the relationship was, though he knew Tony was the dad. Or not that he thought that Mr. Stark was his dad, or thought of him like that, but he was something. A mentor at least. God, Peter thought, what if Tony was the mom? Then Steve or Stephen or Bucky, maybe? One of them would be the dad. Peters breath sped up.

“Peter, kid?” Tony asked, and Peter realized he’d not responded.

“Fine.” He croaked out.

“Don’t sound it Peter. Come back out someone else will check.”

“What? No, Mr. Stark I can do it.”

It was a moment and then the man responded. “First of all, we’ve talked about this before. When on missions you are to be completely in subjection to the leadership of this team. Which means if you disagree, you do what?”

Peter took a breath feeling like a kid being scolded and said, “I take it up with you or Cap privately or in a meeting and not on the comms.”

“Correct. Now you are in a private channel, so lay it out for me.”

Peter smiled, realizing the man wasn’t mad at him just teaching him.“Well, I feel fine Mr. Stark.” He said walking a little further in.

“The breathing changes?”

“I, um, I don’t always like small spaces.”

“You’re claustrophobic?”

“Just sometimes.” He hedged. “Apparently there was a day care next to this edge room.” He said trying to change the subject. Peter heard a creek and his breath sucked in.

“Peter, I think you should leave. Come out and let someone else deal with it.” A Pause, “No one will think less of you.”

The fact that he said it made Peter think they would. “I’m fine. Mr. Stark.”

“Peter, I’m pulling rank. Get out now.”

“I’m fine.” He insisted continuing forward.

“I will ground you for a month if you don’t exit now.”

“Can you even do that?” Peter wondered aloud.

“I have ways. And I know people.”

“But there’s a field trip for decathlon soon.” Peter said making it to the edge of the room, but not heading out.

“Then do as you’re told.”

Peter sighed and headed out of the room. He was in the doorway when things began to rock. He grabbed hold of the door frame and tried to calm his breathing. He could hear Tony yelling across the com. Peter knew he should move and try to go towards the exit, throw a web or something, but all he could remember were Vultures wings. The stupid thing knocking out four pillars and him, underneath it all. His breathing really did go a muck with this memory.His breathing rapidly sped up and he couldn’t catch his breath. Little gasps, as sawdust and drywall seemed to fill his lungs. His right hand gripped hard on the door frame making finger dents in the groove and his left came to cover his mouth. He wasn’t sure exactly what happened next, but within a minute something slammed into him. He whimpered as he was pushed further into the room. Whatever had him was hard and metal and had pulled him tight to them self before wrapping itself in a ball over around him and an arm over his head partly shielding his face as part of the ceiling began to fall in.

It was minutes of darkness, noise and things pinging off Iron man, as Peter finally realized it was Mr. Stark wrapped protectively around him. As it began to quiet, Peter could hear the man in his ear whispering soothingly and it -wasn’t on the comm. This was live and in person. It seemed to settle so Peter started to move. But was held firmly in place and that was good because there were a few post falling objects that landed around them.

“All right.” Tony said a few minutes later when everything had finally stopped. He moved off him and began to assess.

Peter looked up at him, the man was covered in dirt and debris and there were some pings and scratches in the suit. “Are you ok, Mr. Stark?”

Tony did a once over and said, “Yea, you?”

Peter started to do the same moving to twist around so he could sit but he let out a small whimper, bringing Tony closer to his side.

He placed a hand on his knee and moved the kids leg around, letting out a low whistle. “You have a piece of glass in your leg. Alien robot glass at that.” When Peter looked at him questioningly, he stated, “Normal glass wouldn’t graze the suit.” Tony moved his hand causing Peter to wince. “Pretty big piece too.” Tony said gently maneuvering around his lower left leg.

Peter winced, “Can we get it out? And how did I get Alien tech in my leg?”

“There was one back near the next room, pretty sure he’s squished now, but he managed to get a shot off before I had you, sorry kid.”

Peter shuddered at the idea of being squished by the building. He took a deep breath, “That’s OK Mr. Stark, sorry I didn’t see him.” He said sheepishly.

Tony gave him a shrug. “It’s ok, kid. Friday.” Tony said, “You with me girl?

“Yes boss. I have scanned the area and things are stable. I have also scanned the wound and it seems that it is embedded in the muscle and near the posterior tibial artery and removing it would be unwise.” Peter dropped his head closing his eyes and trying to not cry. It hurt, and it just felt weird having something embedded in him.

Tony squeezed his shoulder “It will be fine Pete. Friday send coordinates to Cap and have him send an ETA please. Let the others know Peter is injured.”

“Certainly” Friday said.

A few minutes later Friday came back, “Due to the way the building has collapsed it will be several hours before they can retrieve you both. The alien invasion is over however.”

“One good thing,” Tony sighed, “Ok let them know the injury is that Peter has alien glass in his leg. Not life threatening from blood loss, yet, that I can tell, but high potential of infection and disease given its alien origin and I’m not sure we have anything to clean it with, but I’m just starting to look.”

“Message being relayed.”

Tony stood and walked the perimeter of the space they were in. There were shelves of cubbies and a desk at the front. “Peter, I think we’re in the day care room.”

“Great,” Peter muttered tightly, propped up against the wall, “I can see the others never letting me live that down.”

Tony chuckled, “Maybe, but they like you. I think they might tease a little, but it just means they are accepting you and treating you like part of the team. We all tease each other”

Peter sighed resting his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. “Maybe they could be less accepting.”

Tony stopped in his looking and gave Peter a long look. “Is someone giving you a hard time? Because if they are Cap and I can take care of it. Unless it is Cap? It isn’t me is it. I thought you liked banter,”

Peter opened his eyes, “It’s not you or Cap or anyone on the team for that matter, I just don’t like to be teased.” He hoped Tony would drop it.

“Sure kid, we’ll lay off, but just know no one means anything negative by it.”

Peter sighed, “Sorry Mr. Stark, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, there teasing is fine. Really.”

“You sure?” Tony asked skeptically as he rifled through the teacher’s desk.

“Yea.” He closed his eyes again and waited as Tony searched the rest of the room.

It was a few minutes later when Tony returned with what he found.

“What’s all that?” Peter asked looking at the stack of stuff.

‘Some blankets, toddler sized, but should help us elevate and keep you a little warmer – even got a pillow.”

Peters eyes widened when he saw it was a Thor pillow. “I don’t need a pillow.” He said quickly. Tony rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal, no one is here to see. Besides you’ll be more comfortable.”

Peter sighed took it and put it behind his head. It was small, but Tony was right it was comfortable. Tony proceeded to roll up a couple of the small blankets and gently prop his leg up.

“I found a first aid kit, so I’m going to clean up the best I can. It might hurt.” He warned.

The teen nodded. He’d had Tony clean out a wound before and it always stung. The man always apologized, but explained they had to use strong antiseptic to make sure infection didn’t set it. Peter had asked about that once since he had a healing factor and Tony explained that it was the fast metabolism that would run the infection through his body faster than a normal person and that could be deadly. So, it was best to prevent infection as much as possible. Tony began to open the kit and decided a distraction was in order.

So how is school?” Tony asked settling down next to the kid and pulling out the antiseptic and some cotton balls.

“School is school.” Peter answered with a shrug not opening his eyes.

Tony opened the bottle and poured some peroxide onto the small cotton balls saturating them.

“Grades?” He said, putting on hand firmly on the kids knee to hold him in place.”

“Well within acceptable Spiderman levels.” Came the reply. Peter turned his head away, so he didn’t have to watch or know when it was coming. Tony nodded. “good.” He then laid the cotton balls on the top of the glass giving each a small squeeze to get the peroxide into the wound. Peter hissed and jerked, his leg tensing at the sharp burn. His eyes watered and he blinked rapidly to try to keep any tears from falling, but Tony had only done side of the glass. By the time he’d finished the second side light tears were falling. Tony cleaned the mess of cotton balls quicky before handing a tissue he found to Peter.

“Sorry kid, but it was necessary.” He moved to sit next to him against the wall. Peter moved a little so they were shoulder to shoulder. His Thor pillow was comfortable enough for now.

“Thanks. Mr. Stark.” He said quietly.

“You’re welcome.” Tony said reaching up and giving a gently ruffle to the kids hair. Affection like this wasn’t often in their routine, thought toney was doing more recently.

Since you didn’t have much to say about school and you are doing well,” He monitored the kid’s education, mostly just to make sure his grades were still acceptable for the internship. “How are Ned and MJ”

“Ned is going to get the new Lego set for us to build. Lots of pieces and with only a few days a week to work on it, could take months, so it sounds awesome. Bit expensive though. MJ is… well I think she might want to date me.” He said giving his mentor a sideways glance.

Tony raised an eyebrow, “You think?”

“Well one minute she acts like she likes me and the other she calls me loser. So I’m not sure.” He said with a shrug.

“Really?” He asked ears perking up as he turned to Tony.

“Yes really. At your age love is weird. You don’t always know how to express it. Sometimes at my age you still don’t.

“Oh.”

” Yea.” Tony said staring off.

Peter waited a moment before asking, “Was it hard to date as Iron Man?”

“Please.” He scoffed, “Peter, you’ve seen the news, I’ve dated a ton of women as both Iron Man and Tony Stark.”

“That’s not… I mean what if Pepper got hurt because you’re Iron man?”

Tony sighed, pulling his knees up and crossing his elbows over his knees. “She did actually. With the Mandarin. She was hurt, nearly killed. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her kid. She’s the love of my life, the only person I can imagine tolerating me until I’m old and grey, and she still lets me do what I need to as Iron Man. She yells a bit when I’m stupid… Rhodey does too. But for the most part we work. There is balance.” He took a deep breath, “To answer your original question, I’d die if anything happened to her that I could prevent, but I wouldn’t give up what I have with her in the off chance something might happen. Been there done that. I think I’ve learned my lesson.” “Hmmm.” Peter hummed. “Thanks Mr. Stark, that’s helpful.”

Tony smiled. “Yea?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. Peter nodded. “Good.”

They sat in silence for a while before Tony looked at his watch and said, “Cap says it will be hours before they can get to us.” He’d already removed his gear once he verified, they were in a safe space.

“Oh,” Peter said with a sigh. “Why so long?”

“Well a whole building basically sits between us.” Tony said and turned to Peter when he heard his breath hitch. “You OK?”

“Mmmhmm.” He murmured but he was gasping a bit.

“All right come on”. He said pushing the kids head down over his lap, “Breath kid.” It took a couple minutes but the kids breathing finally evened out. “You good now?”

Peters head came up and Tony could see the red on his cheeks. “Fine, Mr. Stark. Didn’t mean to freak out.”

“So, you said sometimes you are claustrophobic?”

“Um, maybe a bit, I mean I don’t like being in buildings that might fall on me.” He pulled his right leg up and propped his head on his knee, the Thor pillow falling to the side. He took a deep breath then confessed, “I had a building collapse on me once.” “What? When did that happen?” Tony said shocked.

“When the vulture happened.”

“Peter that was almost 4 months ago you couldn’t have mentioned it?”

“I didn’t think it mattered. It’s not like buildings collapse on me often.”

Tony shook his head. “You really need to let me know things like this kid. I can’t help, if I don’t know. And I know the Vulture bit was a fiasco on my end. But I’m trying now.” He took a deep breath,” Ok what’s done is done. Are you going to be ok down here?”

“Well it’s not dark and I’m not alone and it’s not literally on top of me with me trapped with pieces of it on me holding me in place, so hopefully it will be ok.”

Tony stared at him for a moment then made some clicks on his watch and a hologram of a building came up. “So, this is where we are,” Tony said pointing at a smaller room, “and the collapse blocking then runs along here.” He pointed along some spaces around them, “This is where we are, and you can see it’s structurally sound. It’s everything around us that is having problems. That’s why it will take a while. But we are safe where we are from a further collapse. Feel better?”

“Oh, that’s, that’s not so bad. But how did it collapse to begin with?”

“I believe that alien robot that managed to get a shot off and send glass into your leg had something to do with it. Friday can’t scan all their tech. If I hadn’t seen him…” He trailed off

Peter shuddered, then gave a small smile. “Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

Tony flicked his watch and the image disappeared. “We have time to kill. You mentioned a field trip coming up?”

“Decathlon is going to Philly in a couple months they just announced that’s where the next competition will be. I must sit through some special thing with Principal Morita because of what happened in DC. They don’t want me to go AWOL again. But I get to go…. Well maybe.”

“Why maybe? I’m sure your principal will agree, you’ve been a model student since the Vulture incident.”

“It’s not that Mr. Stark. It’s just…. It’s kind of expensive and May is already working overtime. “

“Kid, if you need…”

“No thanks Mr. Stark. You already do more than enough for me, I can’t ask you for this.”

“I’m offering” He emphasized.

“Still Mr. Stark,” He said shaking his head. “I just wouldn’t feel right about it.”

Tony sighed. Then brightened, “You could work for me for it.”

“What? I mean I kind of already work for you.”

“Instead of just interning as Spiderman, I could give you actual chores/work around the lab or even the garage or penthouse and you could earn the money and it wouldn’t interfere too much with your other activities.” “That sounds… That sounds amazing actually.” He said with a nod.

“Good, then we are agreed.” He held out his hand and Peter shook it after only a moment.

Tony leaned back against the wall wondering what chores he could assign the kid, because his normal work wouldn’t cut it. It had to seem hard enough that he was earning it. Tony was sure he had some storage rooms that needed cleaned out and maybe work in the gym.

Tony realized after a moment that Peter’s breathing had changed and looked over to see he had a fine sheen of sweat across his forehead. “You ok?”

“Hmm.” Peters eyes squeezed shut and he made a small whimpering noise.

“Peter what’s wrong kid?”

“Leg.” He gasped out. “Hurts.”

Tony moved flicking his watch on for light and lightly took hold of his left ankle and turned the leg gently. “I can’t see anything causing pain, other than you have glass in your leg. There isn’t anything for pain in the first aid kit. Let me check the teacher’s desk. Maybe I missed it the first time.” He stood and quickly made his way to the front desk. Peter could hear him opening and closing drawers and then he came back a few minutes later.

“So, I found some children’s Motrin. Directions cover dosage up to an eleven-year-old, so I’ll just give you that dosage.”

Peter tensed as another sharp pain went through his leg and nodded willing to do anything to help. Tony poured the amount into the cup provided and then handed it to the kid. Peter tipped it back taking it like a shot in one go.

“You can’t take it again for 4-6 hours hopefully we’ll be out by then.” Tony said moving back up to sit by him. One hand dropping to the kid’s thigh and giving a light squeeze. “I know it hurts kid, but for now you’re going to have to just breath through it. The meds will kick in in maybe 30 minutes or so.”

Peter nodded, “Ok.” He said hoarsely and dropping his head over to rest on Tony’s shoulder. He didn’t want to try to crawl to the right and grab the Thor pillow.

“What you need is a distraction. Maybe a game.”

“I don’t see monopoly around here Mr. Stark.” The kid said humorlessly.

Tony rolled his eyes. ‘Ok smart aleck. I was thinking like a car game. Like I Spy or 20 questions.”

“The I spy would just be ‘I see something grey-answer - the wall’, Mr. Stark.”

“Twenty questions it is. I’ll go first.”

“But you just asked me a question about school and MJ and Ned and decathlon.”

“OK then you can go first.”

“Ok. What’s your favorite food?”

“Really? You can ask Iron Man any twenty questions and you go with food?”

“I’m under duress.”

Tony sighed. “My favorite food is meatballs.”

“You’ve eaten in other countries and your favorite food is meatballs?” Peter asked eyebrows raised.

Tony gave him a small smile. “Well my favorite type of meatball was the kind my mom prepared.”

“Oh” He breathed.

“Yea. I mean I still eat other meatballs, but when I was younger it was my favorite meal by her. She’d make it for me when I came home from school.” Tony sat there lost in the memory for a moment. “Anyway, same question to you.”

“Thai.” Peter said instantly.

“Figures” Tony muttered. The kid ate it at least once a week. “Guilty pleasure music?” He asked. ‘What do you like to listen to that people wouldn’t expect?”

Peter thought for a moment and then said, “I love the eighties.”

“Really?” Tony asked surprised.

“Yea. I like Michael Jackson. Sometimes when I’m training or working out that’s what I’m listening to. You?”

“Well you already know I like rock.”

“Right, I’ve been in your car and your lab.” He chuckled lightly.

“I like classical.” The kid’s eyebrows raised, and Tony laughed. “Again, it’s something I got from my mom. And while rock is what I primarily listen too, sometimes when I need to super focus on a project that’s what I listen too.”

“Maybe I’ll try that when exams come up.” Peter smiled.

“It can be helpful. I did that at MIT.”

“Cool. My turn. Hobby no one knows you have?”

“Hmmm, I should have said this before, but what’s said in here stays in here. We are in Vegas right now.” Tony said.

“Must be some hobby Mr. Stark if you are swearing me to secrecy.”

“Not just a hobby kid. Something only Rhodey and Pepper know. I’m going to trust you with it because you’re my mentee and I think trust is important between us.”

Peter swallowed, “I’ll keep all of it to myself Mr. Stark.” He said solemnly. “You’ll do the same for me?”

Tony nodded, “Of course.” A beat, “I play the piano And I don’t mean I dabble, I mean, I’m really good.”

Peter could tell it was true, because it didn’t have the usual Stark brag he’d heard about. “That’s amazing Mr. Stark.” He said sincerely “I’d love to hear you play sometime.”

“I don’t play for people kid. Pepper and Rhodey haven’t heard me either so don’t think I’m shutting you out. I have a special room in the compound no one knows where and it has a baby grand piano.”

“That’s really cool. I was never that good when I played the trombone.”

“That’s what you played in band? I thought it would be the trumpet or French horn.”

“No, my dad played the trombone when he was in high school and Ben and May still had his instrument in the attic. It worked out because I got to do something close to my dad and we didn’t have to buy an instrument or worse rent one from the school that other kid’s mouths had been on.” Peter shuddered.

Tony took a deep breath, ‘You don’t have to answer this kid, but do you remember much of your parents?”

Peter stared into the distance for a moment. “Not as much as I’d like. Mostly I remember stories from May and Ben and a few people that knew them. I have a couple vague memories or my mom putting me to bed and one of my dad’s putting me in time out. I think I threw a toy at his head when I was four and didn’t get to watch my favorite cartoon.” He smiled, “I love that memory. Not because I got in trouble, but it just reminds me at one time I was just a little kid, doing little kid things, with no worries about parents going away or how to survive a radioactive spider bite.” His voice was a bit choked by the end.

“Sorry, kid,” Mr. Stark said softly,” I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s OK Mr. Stark. No one ever really asks me about them. I mean May and I talk about them some, but really, it’s like people forget I had parents before May and Ben. Sometimes I feel that way too. It feels disloyal to not think about them more. I haven’t even been to the graveside since Ben died.”

Tony reached over and squeezed the kids’ shoulder. “It’s ok Pete. After my parents died, I didn’t visit the grave for years. It was hard.” He swallowed. “Eventually I began to talk about them and that helped and now I try to go once a year.” “There isn’t really anyone that remembers them Mr. Stark. I mean my family is May and she’s not even a blood relative.”

“Ben was related to your dad?” He guessed.

“Brothers,” Peter said. “Ben was the younger one. I was so happy when they took me in. Not because my parents had died, that part sucked, but when I finally got to live with them, things just got so much better and I did have people who knew my parents.”

“What do you mean by ‘when you finally got to live with them?”

Peter moved around getting more comfortable before answering. His head still rested on Tony’s shoulder. “I wasn’t immediately allowed to live with my Aunt and Uncle. Some stupid law about needing my own room and that being more important than a grieving child being with people who loved and wanted him.”

“You were in foster care?” Tony asked for confirmation.

“About four or five months,” he said with a nod. ‘I wasn’t a fan.” He shuttered slightly at the memory.

Tony reached his hand up and ran it through the kids curls for a moment trying to soothe. Then realized what he was doing and tried to stop, but Peter made a small murmur and Tony couldn’t bring himself to stop. Peters breath hitched, and the kid turned his face more into Tony’s shoulder trying to hide the tears that were starting to fall.

“It’s ok underoos.” Tony whispered gently. Peter cried for several minutes, some of his sobs coming out in loud echoing sounds in the room. Tony did his best to comfort and wondered how there was still so much about this kid he didn’t know. Peter eventually sat up swiping the tears from his eyes. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I shouldn’t have asked about your parents. I know it can upset me when others ask me about mine.”

“It’s ok Mr. Stark. I’m glad you asked. It was just a rough time.’ He shrugged. “It sometimes still is.”

Tony nodded. “I get that. My parents died almost 30 years ago, and I still feel that way. You never really stop thinking about them and trust me that’s ok.”

Peter nodded, “May says that and Ben used to say that too.”

“Smart people. Let’s try a lighter question now.”

Peter sniffles still not totally calmed down and said, “If you could be any animal in the world what would you be?”

“Are mythical included?”

“Since you asked, I’m assuming you have one in mind so yes.”

“Unicorn – they are so majestic and the national animal of Scotland.”

“Wow, Mr. Stark.”

The man just smiled at him, “I could also stab people with my horn.” That made Peter laugh, and Tony smiled at his achievement. “You?”

“A dragon. I just think they are amazing, and I could fly and catch things on fire.”

“Solid reasons.” Peter shifted again with a grimace. “How are you doing?”

“Still sore. Better with the medicine but still sore. And it keeps feeling better then I’ll get shooting pains through it which of course feels worse.”

“Mmmhmm. Let me check it out again.” Peter nodded and Tony moved to the other side or him turning his leg slightly. “Ok, this is probably going to hurt for a moment.” Tony said gently.

“Kay.” Peter said bracing himself.

Tony then poked at some of the skin around the glass. Peter swallowed a cry but couldn’t stop the small cry

“Shhh, easy.” Tony said gently. “I know it hurts. I’m almost done.” Peter couldn’t stop the yell when Tony continued poking. When he stopped tears streaked down the kids face and Tony moved around to sit back down next to him and pulled the kid back against his shoulder. He then rested a hand against his forehead. Peter couldn’t help but lean against the man’s hand that was cool and comfortable. “It’s infected kid.” He informed the kid. “You’re running a light fever right now. The skin around the glass is puckered. You might even end of with a scar.” Peter groaned slightly. “Why don’t you lay down and try to rest. It might help.”

Peter shook his head. “Fine here.” He murmured.

“You’ll be more comfortable laying down kid. You can use my leg for a pillow how about that.” He said, remember May mentioning the kids clinging during illness. Peter nodded and flipped around laying down with his head on the man’s lap. Tony rested a hand in his hair, stroking it gently. “Friday?”

“Yes boss?” “Tell Cap that getting us out of here needs to be a priority, the kid has an infection.”

He waited a few minutes till the response came in. “Mr. Rogers has asked me to inform you that they are doing their best to get here, but at this time it will still be another 2-3 hours.”

Peter groaned and shivered, causing Tony to rub his back and say, “It will be OK spider-ling. Rest. Then maybe we can continue our game.”

Peter nodded and closed his eyes again.It was only about ten minutes later when he opened them again.

“You should be resting spider-ling.” Came a voice from above. He felt kind of floaty. “Can’t sleep.”

Tony sighed, ‘Is it the pain?” Mr. Stark could do nothing about that.

“No.” Peter insisted.

Tony shook his head, ““Liar.” Peter gaped at him.

“I’m not lying.”

“Really?” Tony said, “So your leg really doesn’t hurt even though there is an 7-inch piece of glass sticking out of it, 4 inches of which are actually embedded in your leg?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Um, well, I mean, ok, so it does hurt… some.” He clarified when Tony looked satisfied at his answer and then troubled.

“Kid.” Tony was frustrated Peter could tell. The man took a deep breath and said, “As long as we’re stuck down here, we’re going to talk about this. But first let me look at your leg and see if we can make it any better.”

Peter wasn’t sure what he wanted to talk about exactly, but he leaned his head against the wall closing his eyes against the ache, while Tony gently looked to see if he could do anything that he hadn’t been able to do 10 minutes ago.

“Well it’s already elevated. But infection is beginning to set in. It’s pretty red around where the glass is sticking out.”

Peter swallowed hard, “Can you stop describing it please?” He asked.

Tony gave him a tight sympathetic smile. “Sorry kid.” He reached up and Peter startled slightly when his hand landed on his forehead. “Easy,” He murmured. “Just checking for fever.” After a moment, “You’re definitely warmer. We’ll have to watch that.”

“Yea.” Peter said. “So, um, since there isn’t anything we can do, what did you want to talk about.”

Tony sighed, “Sorry Peter. Being stuck down here isn’t helpful and we can’t remove it, you could bleed out.” He said regretfully.

“This is why I didn’t say anything.” Peter said with emphasis, “It’s not worth it, if you can’t do anything.”

Tony felt a stab from that remark. “Maybe I can’t make the pain go away.” He said carefully. He moved over and sat back down next to the kid. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to know if you’re hurting or injured. And it’s not every time that I can’t do something. You’ve been hurt a few times since I’ve started mentoring you and you failed to mention it.” He did his best to not sound accusing the last thing he wanted was an injured super kid pissed at him while they were stuck in a confined space. “Is there a reason for that?”

Peter gave him a sidelong look before looking down where his left-hand picking at an invisible thread on his leg. He shrugged. “I didn’t think it was bad enough to mention.”

Tony looked at him incredulous. “Peter, at least one of those times you had a pretty decent concussion. And while I wasn’t the best mentor when we started this thing, you were on a plane that crashed, and I don’t mean on the inside of it. Not to mention a building fell on you. I will not believe you if you try to tell me you weren’t hurt after the Vulture.”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck. “It wasn’t too bad. I healed up in a few days.”

He threw his hands up exasperated. “That’s not ok. With your healing powers minor injuries take less than a day, so how bad was it that you took a few days?”

“Some broken ribs, mostly. I think I had a fractured wrist too. Then just bruises and scrapes. Exhaustion.” He shrugged. “I slept like sixteen hours when I got home.”

Tony shook his head. “This is the type of thing you need to come to me with. I have a whole medical staff that deals with superheroes. They treat Steve. They know how to handle advanced healing and they are incredibly discreet. On pain of legal action. And I don’t just mean the police, I’m talking Shield. So, can we agree that no injury is too small, and you’ll come to me in the future?”

Peter looked uncomfortable. “Mr. Stark, I, we…” He took a deep breath, “What I mean to say is…” But he looked away, no longer talking.

“What is it Peter?” Tony asked gently.

Peter tossed his head back hitting it against the wall. Hard enough to hurt, but not do real damage.

“Hey, none of that. You don’t need a concussion on top of everything else. And I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

Peter turned his head looking at the man and Tony could see s sheen of tears.

“Oh kid,” He said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Whatever it is, you really can trust me.”

Peter took a deep breath closing his eyes. ‘We can’t afford it.” He stammered out.

Tony stared at him at a loss for about 5 seconds, before he said slowly, trying to wrap his mind around this kids’ innocence, “You think you have to pay for your medical care?”

Peter gave a small nod, a hand coming up to wipe away falling tears.

“Kid,” Mr. Stark said slowly wanting to break the news gently, “None of the other Avengers do.”

Peter swallowed hard, “I’m not,” he took a shaky breath,” You always say I’m not an Avenger yet.” He whispered.

Tony moved his head side to side not believing his own stupidity, “I agree junior Avenger would be more apt, but even if you’re not a full Avenger, you are my protege and that covers medical care. So, you can always,” he said with emphasis while squeezing the kids’ shoulder. “Always come to me for help with medical, or other, issues, but especially medical issues.” Tony leaned back against the wall and gazed down and the kid. “So, this is why you haven’t been telling me when you’re hurt?”

“Mostly,” he hedged. “I mean, Mr. Stark, Aunt May is very proud, and I just think she’d insist on paying. If she knew how badly I got hurt sometimes, she might not want me to be Spiderman at all and I can’t do that and then what if she…” He moved to hit his head against the wall again, but Tony got his hand there first cushioning the blow,

“I said to stop that.” The man said putting sternness into his tone.

“I just… I hate this… Not being Spiderman, but… OK. I’m not old enough to take care of myself even though with Spiderman powers I probably could and instead I have Aunt May who worries about everything. I have decathlon trips and the fact that I lose about 8 backpacks a year and she’s worried about paying for college and me just… I can’t keep making her worry. And now you want me to tell you if I’m hurt and I… I don’t want you to worry about me or… or pay for me. It’s too much and God, what if she kicks me out.” The words were a whisper and Tony was shocked that this was a worry the kid had. May and he seemed so solid. But Peter had flat out lied to her for a year and nearly gotten himself killed a couple times.

Tony moved over and reached out and pulled the kid too him.

Peter stiffened for a sec. “Um. Mr. Stark. I hate to question you, but are you aware that you’re hugging me?”

He chuckled. “Yea kid. I think we’re there. Maybe not every day.” He clarified, “But definitely in situations like this. Now, let’s break this down a bit. Medical care is part of the internship. Think of it like a job with medical benefits. May wouldn’t insist on paying when insurance covered it right?”

“I doubt it.” Peter said skeptically.

“Well then think of it like that and if she asks explain that to her. You really can’t go to a regular doctor anyway, so you really don’t have a choice in where you get your help. And I’m more than happy to provide what you need so you can continue to be Spiderman and that includes me paying for some things for you. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable but I hope with time it will ease and you’ll trust me.”

“I do trust you” Peter insisted.

“Maybe, but money can be a hard topic for anyone. That’s not just you. It’s weird to me because I’m used to having money. Always have been. But I’ve had friends and people I’ve tried to help that didn’t want my money and didn’t think I had good intentions when I offered what I could. It’s hard on both sides of the equations. But I hope you won’t let your discomfort keep you from asking for what you need. I promise to make it as comfortable and easy on you as I can. You know, I could pay you for the internship.”

“It’s not a real internship, Mr. Stark. I’d be Spiderman even without you. I don’t want to get paid for it.”

Tony nodded, “I never wanted to be paid for being Iron Man either. Not that I needed the money, but it felt wrong.”

Peter nodded. “So much for that.”

‘Well there is something else we can do. A few things really.”

“Like what?”

“Well I could give you an actual internship and pay you.”

“I don’t want it to take away from being Spiderman, or from school. Decathlon is starting to pick up more since we won regional s and Flash is…” Peter stopped realizing what he was about to reveal. “Well I just need to work to keep my spot and not end up with more detention. No one wants that.”

Tony nodded. “Ok then an allowance it is.”

“What?” Peter said sitting up, hissing slightly, then “What?”

“I’ll give you an allowance. You can use it on anything you need to and then you don’t have to come to me to ask unless it’s out of the usual. Really, it’s the perfect solution. I’ll just give it to you weekly.”

“You can’t give me an allowance.” He looked aghast.

“Sure, I can. I’m Tony Stark.”

“Yes, you are, but, I’m not your…. I’m not earning it. And it’s something. you give to your kids Mr. Stark, not some random kid that your training to be an avenger.” “Who says?”

“Any sane person.” He practically yelled.

“Peter,” Tony said slowly, “I gave all the avengers an allowance when they lived in the tower.”

“What?” He asked eyes round.

“I said, I gave all the avengers an allowance when we lived at the tower together. Steve didn’t work, neither did the others. We were busy fighting aliens, hydra or training.” “But Captain America worked for Shield and Black Widow and Hawkeye did too,”

“Contrary to popular belief Shield isn’t really a good retirement plan and while most believe, because it was advertised as such, I wasn’t the only one who helped try to put things back together after the Battle of New York. The rest of the Avengers donated too. When they lived in the tower, we just decided it would be easier if there was money given to them regularly like they were employees and that was I wasn’t tied into it and there were no hard feelings. So, we can do the same for you. If it makes you feel better, I can give you chores around the lab to do to earn it?”

Peter sagged a bit in relief. Chores he could handle “I think I would feel better with chores. Just I can’t have it interfere with school and stuff, like I said.”

“We’ll make that part of the condition then. You usually try to finish your school work before you show up anyway, but I know you don’t always get it done until later. I know May has you finish it before patrol, but from now on, you’ll do that first before you’re allowed to work in the lab. Along with any assigned chores.” Tony shook his head, “You are like Cap in a lot of ways. He insisted on doing chores to earn his pay too. Refused to let any Avengers live there without doing their fair share. I think, I just figured since you were younger those rules didn’t work for you.”

“Aunt May gives me chores. She can’t really afford an allowance all the time, but she gives when she can.”

Tony nodded. “So, are we settled on the money issue? We can discuss how much and what chores later. I’ll have something written up that you can sign. I imagine you’ll feel better having it in writing then feeling like some adult can hold it over your head.” Peter nodded. “Thanks, Mr. Stark. And it’s no different I guess then our deal for the Philadelphia trip.” He said still convincing himself this was a good thing.

‘Don’t mention it.” He said with a nod. “But there are some other things from your statement I want to ask about, you know, since we have nothing else to do?”

Peter sighed, “You want to ask why I think she’ll kick me out don’t you.”

“I do.” Tony affirmed.

“I… It’s not anything she does exactly. It’s more that I’m difficult because of spiderman. I once turned her whole life upside down when I was seven. Now again at 15. I was there when Ben died and I’m not sure she resents that a little, her not being there for his last breaths.” His breath hitched a little. “I mean we love each other don’t get me wrong, but she’s never really gotten past his death. And now that she knows I’m Spiderman, I feel like it’s only a matter of time before she realizes I was Spiderman then. And that I could have stopped it.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

Peter shook his head. “It was.” He insisted unable to stop the tears from coming. “We were out that night because of me. I’d been acting up and he was talking to me about that and earlier that day, I’d been out as Spiderman and I stopped a robber, but he was scared, he seemed scared and he asked me to let him go to give him a break to start fresh.” Peter wiped at his eyes, “and I did Mr. Stark. I let him go and,” he took a deep breath, “He killed my uncle.” Peters hands covered his face as he curled in on himself sobbing.

Tony didn’t hesitate to gather the kid in his arms. “Shh, it’s alright. It wasn’t your fault.” He kept saying soothing words till Peter calmed a bit. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You couldn’t have known.” “I have powers.” Peter argued.

“And last I checked it wasn’t mind reading. You could not have known. And even if you could have known, you were new to this, with no proper training. I’m guessing you were scared and in a bit of shock to have someone pull a gun on you. I hope it was the first and only time it happens.”

Peter nodded wiping stray tears away. “The worst part was feeling like I could have saved him and then having to tell May and have her try to comfort me. I decided then I had to be active in helping people and I couldn’t waste time on things like band.” Tony looked at him for a moment and then said. “Peter answer honestly, are you Spiderman because you feel guilty.”

“It may have started that way.” He said softly. My uncles murder pushed me to do this more, but I like to think if he’d lived, I would have found continued anyway.

Tony nodded. “Good, and you need to work on this self-blame. You are not responsible.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes while he absorbed what was said. “Mr. Stark, I know you say it’s not my fault.”

“It’s not.” He emphasized.

“But I still feel like it is. It’s been over a year since his death and I still can’t change how I feel.”

Tony thought for a moment, “Why don’t you try talking to someone. A professional. You have been through plenty in the last few years, it might help.”

Peter shook his head. ‘I can’t talk to them about Spiderman, Mr. Stark. It could put May in danger or me.”

Tony nodded approvingly, “Good looking out for yourself, but this is a Shield psychologist, one I believe you would like as I saw her myself.”

“Really?”

“Yea. The Afghanistan thing and events surrounding it were a bit harder on me then everyone realized. It wasn’t till well after the Mandarin that I decided to try my hand at it. It helped.” “That’s good Mr. Stark, I’ll think about it.”

Tony nodded, and it was silent again. “I believe one of us is to ask a question. So how did you and Ned meet?”

“Oh,” Peter said, “We were in second grade. It was my first day at school after my parents died. He was the only one who asked me to sit with him for lunch and then we both had the same cookies. He had a Star Wars lunch box and I had this old blue one that had belonged to my uncle and he’d used for years. Aunt May said as soon as we could she’d take me out to pick up a “cool” lunch box. But when Ned saw my sad blue lunch box that looked like an adult used it, he promised to bring me his extra one the next day. After everything that had happened recently, I didn’t really know if he would or if it was a trick, but he came in the next day with a red lunch box with iron man on it. His mom agreed I could have it.” He looked over and smiled at Tony, “I still have it. I shouldn’t tell you this, but I stash cash in it when I have extra, and it’s hidden in my room.”

“In the ceiling tiles.’ Tony smirked thinking of the homemade suit.

“No.” Peter protested and hissed when he bumped his leg.

“Let me look at that again, see how it’s doing.”

Peter nodded “No touching. Touching hurts.”

“Got it.” Tony said and pulled the phone for extra light. Then against the kids wishes he very gently touched part of the tender skin. Causing another hiss from Peter.

“I said no touching.”

“It’s how I know what’s going on. The skin is pretty inflamed.” He reached up with one hand and put it to Peter’s forehead.

“Mr. Stark.” He whined.

“I’m just checking for fever and you are definitely hot, so we will need to watch that.” Clicking on his watch he said, “Friday let Cap know that Peter is developing a fever.” A few minutes later the reply came in. “Sorry Tony, we’re going as fast as we can, but we are only a quarter of the way there.’ Tony sighed, ‘Fine but Peter says you owe us pecan ice-cream if it takes more than 4 hours.”

“Ice-cream?” Was the reply. Then a second, “Got it. See you soon.”

Tony nodded. “You too Cap.”

“Can I take more of that Motrin.” Peter asked softly.

Tony checked his watch, “It’s only been two hours.” Peter sighed, and Tony pulled his head onto his shoulder.

“So, you met Ned in second grade, and he gave you an Iron Man lunch box and that sealed your friendship forever?”

“Yea. We have been through some things together and of course he’s one of the few that know of Spiderman and what happened really happened to my Uncle. He also tells me it’s not my fault.

“And he’s right.”

“I’m trying Mr. Stark.”

Tony slipped an arm behind his back. “I know. You want to know how Rhodey and I met?”

Peter nodded against his shoulder.

“Well it was at MIT and I was younger than a lot of students there. I did a lot of stupid stuff when I was there, pranks, hitting on older girls, not showing to class then blowing the curve. Most People there knew my name – Stark. And did their best to schmooze me or get to know me based on that. They just wanted to be a part of the Stark legacy. Rhodey wasn’t like that. We got teamed up on a project to build an engine together. I showed up eating dried banana and blueberries and brought a girl with me. Making out with her in the doorway before I entered – oh and I was 15 minutes late. Rhodey walked right up to me and goes, ‘I don’t care what kind of smart ass kid you are or what your name is, if you show up late again I’ll have the professor take you off the project and maybe you don’t care about that, but I do, because I have things to do and I think having a friend as smart of you could help.”

“I straightened up after that. Well mostly. I appreciated his candor and willingness to tell me he was being friends with me because of what I could do for him.”

“That’s awful.” Peter said.

“’Maybe.” He said with a shrug, “But it was only like that a couple months. Eventually we realized we had more in common than we thought. The next year we roomed together and often we were the two instigating things on campus. It was a great couple of years. Do you think you might want to go to MIT?”

“I think if I can afford community college it will be a minor miracle.”

“I could...”

“No Mr. Stark. You know it’s amazing you have money at all. I only hear you try to give it away,”

“I just want those around me to be comfortable and if I can help with that. I will.”

“I do want to go to college. I’ve been working hard on my grades to get a scholarship.”

“Do you know your class rank?”

“Um, well, I do, but I don’t want to say.”

Tony was already clicking on his phone. “Oh look, there it is, well if I click this button.”

“What, Mr. Stark, You can’t. Please?”

“That bad.”

Peter blushed and shook his head.

“You know I’m proud of you either way, right? If you do your best that’s what matters. That’s true of Spiderman too. There is no need to be hard on yourself.”

Peter dropped his head back onto the wall. Go ahead and look.”

“You sure”

Peter nodded.

“Wow. Seriously.” Tony looked at him mouth agape and Peter didn’t think he’d ever seen him like this.

“You’re number three and not in your class, that you’re number one, but in the school number three. This is fantastic you continue like this and you will get into any place you want to go.’

“I still need the SAT.”

“You will rock it. I can tutor you or get you one and I know enough smart people it won’t cost anything. Hell, Rhodey would be qualified. Come to think of it so would Banner and Widow. Widow might teach you things you shouldn’t know – spy things. So, Banner, Rhodey or I could all help.”

“That would be good. But no matter how well I do, without financial aid I can’t do it, and I don’t want to get bogged down in student loans.”

“Well you could work for me.”

“Is your solution to just hire me for everything? You give me chores for my trip and insurance.” He said jokingly but sounding a little awkward.

“Yes.” Tony said without preamble, “Kid,” He said firmly, “You are truly brilliant. You already know the systems at the compound. I would be able to see you more often and if you go somewhere out of state the deal will start when you graduate. I pay for your school and you come work for me for twice as long afterwards. Takes 4 years you work for 8? You can work more than that, but you must work enough so I get the investment back. Also, non-compete clause no working for the competition.” Peter just stared at him not entirely sure what to say, so settled on, “You really are the best Mr. Stark.” Peter whispered. “without you I would never be doing any of this.”

“Not true. You were Spiderman before I came around.” He said ruffling the kid’s hair.

��Maybe, but not as good.”

Tony shrugged conceding his point. “So, what else do we want to know about each other. We still have plenty of time to kill.

“Have you ever had a pet?” Peter asked. They had talked about a lot, but he still felt he should be careful.

“Not really.” Tony said shuffling a little. “We had horses when I was younger. My mom thought there was prestige to it. Many of the families we had around had them, so she thought we needed them. Howard wanted her to be happy, so he bought two. I was about nine and found the things slightly terrifying because they were big. Once I got on one though I really enjoyed it. So, my father made an excuse to get rid of them a couple weeks later.”

“That’s awful Mr. Stark.” Peter thought for a moment and said, “I won a gold fish at a carnival. I um…” He blushed, “I named him Iron fish – since he was a gold fish and your outfit are red and gold. Anyway, he died after like three hours and I was super sad about it. Aunt May let us have a small funeral that ended with ice cream.”

“Did you name everything after me?”

“No.” Peter said offended. “If I had had a dog it was going to be named Han Solo.”

Tony laughed. “Nice name.”

“We, Ned and I would have called it Han.”

“Well we both got a story there even though you volunteered. But did you ever play sports.”

“Um... no.” He said decisively.” I didn’t do little league things because I was getting over the death of my parents and having to move in with my Aunt and Uncle. By the time I was in middle school I was super awkward and small. I wore glasses. Me and sports never mixed. “

“I was unaware you wore contacts.”

“Contacts?” He looked at Tony confused

“Oh no, the spider bit fixed that. Sort of how I have a six pack and a ton of strength.”

“Wow. Have you been to an optometrist since it happened?

“If I say no - am I going to see one?

“There’s a good chance of that.”

Sigh. “No, I haven’t. Aunt May just thought I decided to not wear them, and I never told her otherwise.”

Tony nodded. “Fair enough. But you will be seeing a shield ophthalmologist."

“What I thought it was an eye doctor.”

“Calm down it is. But a specialized one. I think they will be better for you and I know one personally:

“You seem to know everyone personally.” Peter said sinking back against the man.

“The money helps with that and my utter brilliance”

“How does Pepper put up with you?” Peter said then stiffened. “I mean… um… the pain is making me say things Mr. Stark I didn’t mean that.”

“Chill. I know you’re joking. It’s ok to tease me Peter. We are developing that kind of relationship. It’s part of being a mentor and mentee.”

Peter signed in relief. ‘So, did you ever play any sports?”

“As a kid I didn’t really play sports. Or play at all. My hobbies included robots and science and getting through years of school as quickly as I could. But when I got to MIT Rhodey decided to teach me boxing. Said otherwise with my mouth, smarts and money I’d never survive. I took a real shining too it. Surpassed Rhodey in those skills in the first year of school. We had fun sparring. And after seeing my dad sometimes it was a relief to go pound on something. When my parents died, I felt like I couldn’t box. Howard disapproved of it like he did everything else and why I say I don’t care what he thought for some reason on this point I did. Obadiah ended up talking to me about it. Telling me not to give up on what I love just because of a dead man. I didn’t go back to it right away but eventually I put a ring in the gym. I learned that Happy knew how to box and he’s good. We’ve spent hours down there just hitting each other.” He grinned. “There was this one time when Black Widow came. We didn’t know she was widow at the time, but she came in as a spy for shield pretending to be my secretary. So, she’s dressed in this white top pencil skirt outfit and she climbs in the ring and Happy is trying to be macho and I don’t know what he said but she climbed up him, wrap her legs around his neck and flattened him. Pepper and I sat there stunned. Happy’s pride was hurt for a month afterwards. But we got back in the ring.”

Peter said nothing but appeared to be contemplating something.

“Peter?” Tony asked.

“I, I just don’t understand.”

Tony’s eyebrows raised. “Don’t understand what? How widow took out Happy?”

“No, how you can say anything nice about Obadiah. He betrayed you. Tried to kill you. He nearly succeeded.”

“Nearly kid. That’s the take away. And yea he was a bad guy. The betrayal hurt more than anyone could ever really know. But if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be mentoring you or doing the work as Iron Man.” “I don’t think that’s true Mr. Stark. You are a good person and I think you are Iron man. You would have found yourself here eventually.”

Tony swallowed hard at the belief this kid had in him. “Thanks kid.” He said and ruffled the kid’s hair.

“Your welcome” he said. They were comfortably quiet for the next ten minutes and Peter asked. “Do you think you could teach me to box?”

“You want to learn boxing?” He asked in disbelief.

“Yea,” Peter said shyly.

“Kid your learning martial arts, from military and spy experts. Not to mention self-defense, why on earth would you need to learn boxing?”

“Because, we won’t always be just on Earth. I need to learn all I can.” He said with emphasis. “You can’t shield me all the time Mr. Stark. I know something is coming.”

“Pete,” He laughed it off, “nothing is happening it’s fine.”

“Don’t lie to me Mr. Stark. Please? I’m fifteen not five. You can’t protect me forever.”

“Then let me protect you why I can.” He said firmly. “I haven’t known you for long Peter, but you mean a lot to me. I… I imagine what it would be like if I had a s… a family and I think you would be a part of it.” He cleared his throat, “I’m not a sentimental man. I don’t like to discuss feelings, but well,” He shrugged

Suddenly Peter screeched his head hitting the wall behind him as he then curled towards the injured limb. Tony just managed to grab his hands before he grabbed the glass.

“Peter Stop.” Tony screamed, but Peter was crying rocking back and forth. Tony pushed himself back against the wall parting his legs in a V and pulling Peter back between them, so his back was to his chest and he could wrap him in a bear hug his hands holding Peters. Or trying, he eventually wrestled both Peter hands into one of his and pulled the kid as close to his chest as he could. “Breath kid. I know whatever is happening hurts, but you need to relax. Breath with me. He used the hand he had over the kids’ heart to help exaggerate the breaths he was taking, them both moving as one inhaling and exhaling. “Good job kid.” He said as Peter started to calm. Small whimpers escaped his mouth.

“What happened?” Peter asked.

“Not sure. I can look if you want?”

“No.” Peter said settling against the man. It was comforting, and he was afraid movement would hurt.

“Does it feel like it’s bleeding more?”

“Some.” Peter answered his teeth gritted.

“I’ll need to look Peter but if you don’t think it’s too bad, I’ll give you a few minutes.”

Peter nodded and pulled his good leg up a bit.

“Elevate your foot kid, place it on my leg.”

“But I might cut you.”

“It’s fine the glass is on the side, just be careful.” Peter did as he was told moving slowly.

“It felt like it was being cut all over again Mr. Stark. It hurt really bad.”

“Hmmm, Tony said, but said nothing more.

It was silent for few minutes and Peter said, “How long till they get here?”

Tony checked his watch, then said, ‘Friday where do we stand?”

“They are attempting to clear debris and put supports in place. Captain Rogers asks that you do your best to hang on and they will do their best to move quickly.”

Tony sighed. “Tell him I said he owes us strawberry ice-cream as well.”

“Of course, boss.”

“You don’t like strawberry.” Peter said where he laid against Tony’s chest his eye shut against the pain.

“But you and Cap both do. And Hawkeye pretends he doesn’t, but we all know he does.

Peter smiles and says, “Thanks Mr. Stark.” It was quiet and filled with meaning.

“Get some rest, it will make time go faster.” Peter nodded and closed his eyes Tony sighed as he listened to Peter’s breathing out over the next few minutes. When he was certain the boy was in that place between sleeping and awake, he gently began to play with the kids’ hair. Hoping the comforting gesture would push him over the edge.

Peter slept for the next hour or so. Tony checking him repeatably as he could feel the fever rising.

“Cap,” He said into the watch acting as his com. “We need out of here. I’m 99% sure he has a blood infection and not being able to remove what is causing it is making it worse.”

“They are almost here, Boss. Another hour or two.”

“Another hour or two, it was supposed to be four we’ve been down here for six.” And no water or food for either. “Cap you owe me.”

Tony dropped a hand down into the kid’s hair and Peters eyes fluttered opened. “Mr. Stark.” He slurred.”

“Hey kiddo, how are you feeling?”

Peter turned very pale then and pushed himself around and got sick all over the ground.

Tony winced in sympathy and put a hand on his back gently comforting till Peter stopped.

“Come on” He said putting hands under the kid’s armpits. “We’re going to move away from that.”

Peter nodded and struggled to a further away spot. Tony went looking again and found some hand sanitizer and a couple more blankets. He then let the kid “wash” his hands, took another look at the wound and felt how hot he was getting.

“I have an idea. You won’t like it.” Tony said.

“I like you.” Peter said slurring.

Tony chuckled. “That’s good since we work together. OK, unleash the suit.”

Peter gave him an odd look but did as instructed. Tony then helped him move it down to his waist. “Now lay back”.

“What, why?”

“Because the floor is extremely cold and you are extremely warm, this just might help. Besides you were on the floor earlier.” “I don’t want to.” He whined.

“Peter,” Tony said firmly, “It will help, you’ll feel better.”

“Too cold.”

“That’s the fever talking. You have chills.” Tony then put his hand on the boy’s chest and pushed backwards. He was under no illusion that if Peter was well this wouldn’t work. Peter winced when his back hit the ground and he shivered and tried to push his way back up.

“Nope” Tony said holding him gently in place. “This is for the best.”

“You’re mean.” Peter said suddenly.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “I’m mean eh? If I let an infection kill you, that’s mean. This is helping.”

Peter sniffled slightly “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. It’s cold.”

“I know. Just get through fifteen minutes and you can sit up for a bit. You can do 15 minutes, your Spiderman”

Peter smiled but sniffled again before nodded.

Tony tapped his finger on his chin, contemplating. “Hmm” her murmured out loud.

“What is it?” Peter asked.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“I think you know it all by now with the twenty questions.” He said.

“We haven’t finished all twenty so tell me something I don’t know. Please.” He implored.

Peter sighed, shivered and scooched his way to a better position. “I was going to have a sibling.”

“What?” Tony asked surprised, “Your mom or May?”

Peter swallowed hard, the memories still hurt, “May.” He said softly, “I had just turned eleven, it was a few years after foster care, so I was well adjusted in this new family and young enough to not be jealous or annoyed at the thought of free babysitting.” He chuckled lightly, “I remember finding out about the baby. May and Ben were beyond thrilled. Ben walked around touching her stomach all the time. They would just look at each other and grin. This little precious secret between the two of them. I felt a bit left out. Wanted to be included. They sat down with me and talked everything out. That was big with May and Ben, “communication”. After the talk I was less annoyed and more excited that I’d have a little cousin/sibling. They wanted to include me and so I suggested they give him my dad’s name as a middle name, like my dad named me after Ben. Ben and May loved that name and May liked Seth for a first name so Seth Richard Parker. We couldn’t wait for him to arrive, but at around the fifth month something happened. I don’t even know what exactly. Just May was doubled over in the kitchen one minute and the next in a hospital bed and there was no more Seth.” He took a shaky breath. “There wasn’t a funeral. Just May being bed ridden and Ben staying home for a full week with us. They didn’t even send me to school, though I did have to do homework. They, uh, they tried again as soon as she was able. She got pregnant right away, but lost the baby at about 8 weeks in. We were all devastated. This time they gave it more time. A third and final attempt, when I was twelve, and the baby died at seven and a half months. She didn’t want to try anymore after that. She was different that year. Sadder. I wasn’t sure she’d ever be the same. But one day she came out of it. And then Ben happened. I guess when she had no choice she stepped up. After Ben’s funeral, she sat down with me and we talked about how she had been distant that prior year and how she would be now. She said she had been very sad losing Seth and Andrew, the two babies “old” enough to be named, but she knew that she had already been given the best child ever in getting me and she’d do everything to care for me from now on.” Peter gave a brittle smile, “The thing is they always took care of me. But miscarriages happened and Ben,” a sniffle, “Happened. It felt a little like Parker luck rearing its ugly head. Then I got bit by a radioactive spider and while the agility and eight pack are awesome, it’s not a sibling, or an Uncle. It will never bring Ben back.”

Peter almost chocked on his pain then. Tony rested a hand in his hair and stroked it gently. “You didn’t make them lose those babies Peter.” He said quietly, but with firmness. “And you didn’t cause that person to kill your uncle.”

Peter put his arm over his eyes and cried. “I want Ben.” He said a deep ache flowing through him. Words of confession he’d not said since the mugging. “God, I want Ben.” He curled sideways his forehead against Mr. Stark's leg his left hand fisted into his pant leg.

Tony stroked his hair. “I know kid.”

“It’s not fair.” A childish cry, one Peter had thought but usually didn’t bother to utter, because it made no different. But here in this room, racked with fever, the confessions came easier. Tony stroked his hair saying nothing until the kids crying eased down. Peter finally rolled back over on his back his sobs settled. “You ok?” Tony asked

“Yea Mr. Stark.” He said cheeks darkening, “Sorry for crying on you, again”

“Nothing to apologize for kid. You know, something no one knows about me?’ Peter shook his head. “It’s that when I got home from Afghanistan, I wasn’t quite right. And not in the way Obadiah thought, but I needed help. I didn’t get it right away of course, and a lot of what I did people clocked it up to how I always behave outlandishly. But I was really in a dark place. One night I went out onto the balcony and all I could think about was jumping.” Peter’s eyes widened. “I walked to the edge and stood there looking down. I put my hands on the balcony fence and thought about getting up and jumping and what the world would say. How they wouldn’t be able to deny how I felt any longer or what I had been through. Maybe they’d see my father for the abusive as… jerk that he was.”

“What stopped you?”

“You.”

Peters eyes shot up. “Well not you specifically. People like you. I knew the avengers would be needed. I knew in spite of how I felt I would be needed as well. I realized there would also be a whole new generation that needed tech and help. So, I stepped back and went inside. I found Rhodey and told him what I’d just done, and he immediately got me in touch with a Shield psychiatrist. All very discreet.”

“I’m sorry you went through that.” Peter murmured. “That was very brave of you and your secret is safe with me.”

Tony nodded. “Thanks, kid. Just promise me if a day ever comes you feel that dark, you’ll come to me or someone else you trust.”

Peter nodded. “I promise.”

“I believe you. Now let’s see about the fever.” He laid his hand against his head. “Not helping apparently. So, let’s at least try to make you comfortable.”

He rearranged the kid, with Peters help so he was leaned back against his chest leaving the light t shirt the kid wore under the suit between them. “So still awhile on them showing up though should be in an hour or two cap says. Time for a few more questions.”

Peter sighed, but said, “Dogs or Cats?”

“Both.”

“Cheater.”

“Am not it’s fine to like both. You?”

“Dog obviously.”

“How is that obvious? I mean I guess you are loyal and enthusiastic, a bit like a puppy. OK I see it.”

“Mr. Stark.” Peter whined, but he was smiling.

“Chicken or Steak?” Tony asked

“Steak.” They both said together and then grinned.

“Widow or Hulk.” Tony asked.

“Oh.” Peter said, “In a fight or to befriend.”

“Both” Tony said.

“Widow for both.”

“Really thought for sure Hulk had at least one of those.”

Peter shrugged, ‘I am a mystery.” And shifted with a whimper. He started to ask but gasped out loud and tried again to move towards injured leg. Tony grabbed him” Shhh it’s ok almost done, just breath kid, breath.”

It finally let up and Peter laid against him panting.

“That was bad.”

Peter nodded tiredly while tony stroked his hair.

“We will be out of here soon, kid. Any questions you just must ask?”'

Peter looked at him for a long moment then let out a soft sigh. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” He said softly

. “I’m ironman.” Tony joked, “You can’t hurt me.”:

“Just because your Iron Man doesn’t mean you don’t have a heart or that you don’t feel things.”

Tony let out a sigh, “You got me their kid, but I can handle it.”

“It’s a doozy.” He said then winced, hand clutching into Mr. Starks leg. When tony gasped in pain, he immediately moved his hand.

“Shhh,” He soothed, “it’s okay.”

“I hurt you.” Peter said sounding distraught.

“It may bruise but it will be fine. Now ask your question.”

“I really don’t think I should.”

“Peter Benjamin Parker, ask.”

His eyes widened, and he mumbled, “Why didn’t you ever have a kid?”

“Oh.” Tony said shocked. He hadn’t expected that.” That is a doozy, but it’s an easier answer then you think.” He took a deep breath, “Before I say why, I want you to agree to never talk to anyone about this unless it’s Rhodey or Pepper.”

Peter nodded, “I can do that.”

“When I was younger Howard, well he wasn’t always nice to me. I felt manipulated a lot and a lot of pressure to do better, be the best. I had no idea what a Dad was, I’m still not sure I grasp the concept. Anyway, I didn’t want to be like Howard so I did everything I could do to prevent it. But nothing permanent, just in case one day I changed my mind. Well Afghanistan took that away from me. The chemicals the arc rector came up with left me unable to have children. Though Pepper has mentioned I could adopt.”

“Oh, I’m very sorry Mr. Stark that is just awful.”

Tony shrugged, “It’s ok kid. I’m at peace with it. And it was nothing like your Aunt went through. Anyway, I didn’t want to put a kid in harm’s way and if I’m going to end up like Howard it’s better for everyone.”

“I think you’d make an excellent dad, Mr. Stark.” Peter said quietly.

Tony smiled, “Thanks kiddo.” He ruffled his hair and they sat in silent contemplation.

It was about ten minutes later when Peter shifted and said, “Mr. Stark?

“Yea kid?

“If the arc reactor made it till you can’t have kids, does that mean the radiation from the spider did the same to me?”

“Oh kid.’ Tony said pulling him close. “I don’t know, but it’s a possibility. We’ll test you if you like?”

Peter bit his lip, “I’m not sure I want to know.”

“I understand, but at any time if you want to know, I’ll make sure you get what you need, discreetly.”

“Thanks, Mr. Stark.” Peter shivered.

Tony knew the shivers were part of the infection and an indicator it was getting worse. Again, tony put his hand to the kid’s forehead and let out a low whistle. “You are blasting heat kid.”

“Cold.” He said shaking his head.

“I know kid, but we still need to cool you off.” So, he repeated the earlier steps this time removing as much of the spider suit as possible and laying him flat on the ground. When Peters whimpers became too much, Tony lay next to the kid and placed his head in the crook of his shoulder, providing comfort but letting the cold floor help reduce the fever, even if only a little bit.

“Kid how about another question? Or even just a story. Hmm? Would you like that.”

The kid shivered and gave a slight nod against shoulder. “Question?”

“Really? A question over a story. You must be delusional.” Peter rolled his eyes. “It’s more distracting then listening.”

“Fair enough.” Tony thought for a moment then said, “What do you want for Christmas.”

“I’m fifteen not five, Mr. Stark.”

Tony laughed, “Doesn’t mean you don’t have ideas.”

Peter shrugged. “I’m not big on Christmas. Not anymore.”

“Because Ben is gone?”

Peter nodded. “We didn’t celebrate last year. This year I think we were having take out and watching movies.”

“Hmm.” Tony said, “That’s hardly any way to spend a holiday. You guys could join Pepper and I.”

“Thanks Mr. Stark, but I think May would want to stay in. It’s been hard on her, even if she doesn’t show it.”

“All the more reason to get out. May and Pepper, I think would get along. We could sneak off to the lab.” He said with a smile.

“I’ll have to ask her.”

“Of course. But now back to the question, what do you want for Christmas?”

Peter hesitated then said, “I could use new shoes, another backpack and some school supplies”

“That’s all stuff you need kid. Which you will get, but what do you want?” He said with emphasis.

Peter sighed then said, “If I could have anything, it would be a PS4 and some games. Ned is into gaming and there are ways to play games together but not in the same location. I think I’d like that. Everyone at school seems to have one.” Tony nodded taking notes as he asked about games and Peter talked about the new ones and how much he wanted to play something called Fortnight.

“How about you Mr. Stark?” Peter finally asked. “What do you want for Christmas?”

Tony smiled, “Time with family and friends. A good meal maybe watch some movies or play games. The things I’m not used to doing but are good for the soul I guess.”

‘That sounds nice Mr. Stark.” Peter slurred slightly and began to whimper.

‘Shhh,” he hushed him, “It’s alright it will pass.”

Peter was hanging onto him tightly again.

When this episode was over, Peter laid against him panting. Tony brushed sweaty hair off his forehead. “You’re doing so well kid. They will be here soon, I promise.”

Tony called again to Cap and was told less than an hour. Which was good, the kid needed medical attention now. Friday could tell the infection was almost through his whole blood stream. Tony did his best too shush and soothe all while stroking the kid’s hair. It seemed to help. But Tony knew more distraction might help too, so he said, “I know we haven’t known each other long, but you’ve made a big impact on my life. I want you to know that if you ever need anything, food, clothing, money, any of it. I’ll be there for you.”

Peter remembered the first time Mr. Stark had said something like that too him. A promise. It hadn’t been quite like things were now, under duress.

Peter took a deep breath before entering the lab. It had only been about three weeks since the problem with the vulture and it was his third time meeting up with Mr. Stark for lab time.

“Hi Mr. Stark.” He said quietly, knowing the man would be in the middle of stuff.

“Hey Underoos? How was school today?” the man didn’t bother to look up. He had a pair of high-tech goggles that allowed him to see the smallest of parts and was working on an Iron Man mask.

“Um, well, um.” Peter didn’t know what to say. His day had sucked but telling his amazing superhero mentor that seemed like a bad idea. “It was fine.” He cringed as that came out and hoped Mr. Stark didn’t notice the “Fine”.

No such luck when the man turned towards him. “Fine?” he asked eye brow raised. Peter nodded since Mr. Stark could see it.

Tony’s head tilted, so Peter could tell he saw the bruise.

Tony immediately pointed to the floor in front of him and Peter stood frozen for a moment till Mr. Stark said, “Front and center spider-ling.”

Peter swallowed hard and went to the intended spot.

Tony reached back and took a cold pack from U. “Put this on, then explain how you got it. And don’t lie and say patrol because anything that size with a good night’s rest would be gone by now.”

“I wasn’t going to lie.” Peter said softly as he placed the cold pack on his eye.

“You’ve had a habit of it.” Tony said with brutal honesty.

“I thought I was doing the right thing.” Peter protested.

“Lying to me is never the right thing kid. I know I haven’t done too well in the past, but I’m committed now.” He said taking the eye wear off and setting the tool he had in his left hand and setting it on the table by the mask. “So fresh start. No more lies from you and when you call, I answer or Happy if I’m busy. But you’ll always have back up from now on. We are in this together and I’m committed to seeing you become the hero I know you can be. I imagine one day you’ll be the leader of the next generation of Avengers. We’re not there yet. But this is the starting place. This is when you decide that you accept my help and be honest about what you need and what is happening, so I can assist you. If you can’t do that, you’re wasting both of our times.”

Peter swallowed and took a deep breath, “It’s this kid named Flash.” Tony’s eyebrow raised. “I don’t feel like I should act differently just because I have the powers and I want that to be a secret. If anything happened to Aunt May…” Peter trailed off and sniffed slightly. “Any way he got some of his as… jerk friends to try to start a food fight by throwing food. Only I was the only target and an apple hit me in the side of the head. It is better than it was.”

“Some kid threw food at you?” Tony asked astonished.

“Please don’t make fun of me.” Peter said closing his eyes against what he thought would be censure for not defending himself.

“Oh, kid, no. I don’t make fun of you because some jerk of a kid decided to attack you.” He stepped forward taking the pack setting it on the counter and then beginning to inspect the bruise. “I don’t make fun of you at all. I understand why you didn’t retaliate, and you have far more patience then me. When Afghanistan happened, I took out bad guys in a small village, nearly got myself shot out of the sky, if it wasn’t for Rhodey. If this continues you tell me, OK?” Peter nodded. “OK we have work today. I’m working on a newer mask for you one that is more breathable.”

“It’s already pretty breathable.”

“This one is to try to make it breathable underwater. Even if only for short periods of time.”

“That sounds amazing.”

“It is amazing – so let’s get started.”

And that had been the first time Peter had heard Mr. Stark promised to be here for him.

“Hey Underoos you with me?” His face was being tapped lightly.

“Hurts.” He murmured. Embarrassed and achy he buried his head into the man’s chest.

“I know Kiddo, but things are looking up. Cap said less then an hour.”

“Too long.” The child slurred. “Want now.”

“Hmm apparently you just need a fever to announce what you need.”

“What?” Peter said feeling like he should feel insulted but couldn’t place it.

“Nothing kid. They will be here soon.”

“Final question, kiddo, why Karen?”

Peter looked at him a bit dazed. “Karen?”

“Your AI, you named her Karen.”

“Oh,” Peter said slowly. Then he looked a bit sheepish, “It’s a bit stupid, but I named her after my mum. Her middle name was Karen. I just know she always wanted to watch out for me, and so did the AI.” “That’s not stupid kid “Tony said running a hand gently across the boy’s forearm. “I’m sure your mom is very proud of the name.”

Peter gave a watery smile and then leaned further against Tony Letting his eyes slide closed.

They opened to a loud raucous and Hawkeye shouting.

“Down here.” Mr. Stark yelled up.

Cap cut a hole and then dropped down into the middle of the floor. One look at the kid and he yelled up “Hawk, we need to move quick, Spiderman is very ill”.

“I told you it was urgent, and he was getting worse. Is worse.”

“I know,” Steve said, “Ice cream - chocolate, I know the codes. It’s been a while since we used them. A little surprised you used them honestly.”

Tony shrugged. They didn’t normally use this system. It was meant to keep the injured unaware of how badly things were progressing, so normally children and civilians. In this case Peter knew he was injured and that it was progressing, but Tony had wanted to protect him, even if just in this small way. The infection was bad moving into life threatening by now. “He’s fifteen.” Was all he said in response.

Steve who had met Peter as a civilian seemed to understand so he nodded and said, “You want to take him out or should I?”

“You, the alien tech messes with my suit, I’m surprised Friday worked.”

Steve nodded and reached out to a whimpering Peter gathering the kid in his arms. “Let’s go.”

He handed Peter up to Hawkeye who pulled an almost unconscious Peter out and up to the roof. Steve gave Peter a boost up and then jumped and grabbed the edges himself. Once back up Steve started to take Peter, but Tony shook his head and pulled the kid to himself. Peter curled towards him fisting a hand in his shirt. Tony soothed him till he settled.

Steve cleared his throat. ‘We should go.”

“Right.” Tony said, and they headed out of the building.

Once on the ship they moved Peter to the clinic area. Bruce was waiting with supplies.

“He going to have problems since it was alien tech? “

“Probably not. We didn’t find anything wonky in what we found.” Bruce said.

“Good then.” Tony said.

“I need to remove this but first I’m going to knock him out.” Bruce continued. Tony nodded and leaned over and explained to a feverish Peter what the situation was. But he was too out of it. Bruce hooked up some antibiotics and saline then knocked the kid out.

Peter faded in an out for a while, after the initial knock out. He heard voices and tried to call out to the people around him, but no one came. Parker luck he thought.

“What’s that spider-ling? Came a soft soothing voice, and hands that wrapped around his hand.

“Said out loud, thought said silent. Parker Luck.”

“Parker luck makes you say things you don’t mean?” Tony asked confused.

“No, it makes bad things happen.”

“So, you think by being a Parker your bad luck”? Peter nodded solemnly.“When you’re better we will discuss that. Because that is not true.”

Peter shook his head, “Is too.” He muttered childishly.

“That’s not a sound argument,” The man pulled the blankets up over him, that he’d kicked off.

‘Now rest. You’re still fighting off infection.”

“Stay?” he asked simply. “Of course.” His eyes closed, and sleep came almost instantly.

It was hours later, Tony standing at the doorway to the hospital bed. They had been back at the facility for a few hours and May was already here making a fuss over her nephew. Tony had gotten an earful for him getting hurt, not that it was his fault, not that either of them didn’t blame himself.

“How are you doing?” He asked walking it.

Peter looked up his eyes glossy. “Heya Mr. Stark.” He greeted enthusiastically.

“Well I see someone has found the morphine drip.”

“See,” Peter said holding it up proudly “You just click, and good things happen.” He murmured.

“I think you’ve had enough, he said walking around the bed and removing the pump from his hand. Peter grabbed his hand and then held it up and ran his cheek over it. “Soft Tony, warm Tony, Iron ball of fur,” he sang softly still petting himself. Tony chuckled, “You are lucky I don’t allow any recording devices in these rooms.”

“A shame really.” May chuckled, ‘He’d do anything we ask for a very long time.”

Tony grinned, “Well I practically have an idyllic memory. I’m sure the details I know would do wonders.”

May laughed the sound light, “Sorry for yelling earlier. I was just worried.” Peter now was playing with a small ball shaped item that he’s procured from May’s purse, completely distracted. “it’s understandable.”

“Maybe, but I know how much you mean to him and how much he looks up to you.”

“See, I have to look up.” Peter said face turning to Tony’s with a wide grin. “Looking up at Tony.”

“Finally get you to start calling me Tony – requires one serious infection and a morphine drip.

” “It’s the blood loss.” Peter pipped in.

“You didn’t lose that much, you called me Tony now you’re stuck with it.”

“Mr. Stark.” Peter sing songed. “Soft Mr. Stark, warm Mr. Stark…”

“Nope, won’t answer to that, not anymore”

“Hmm, I’m tired.”

“Then rest Underoos.”

May raised an eyebrow.

“I like nicknames.” Tony said. When her eyebrow went up, he said, “For other people.”

“Ah. I wonder if that’s why he calls you Mr. Stark.” May said, “It’s his nickname for you. And it annoys you so double win for him.”

“Hmmm I believe he is that clever, but he’s too consistent to be a joke.”

“You’re just Mr. Stark.” Peter mumbled from the bed nearly asleep.

“It’s OK whatever you call me Peter. Just curious why it’s Mr. Stark and not Tony.”

Peter rolled onto his side, so he could look up at him. “it’s lots of reasons honestly. I respect you. You’re my mentor. Calling you Tony feels too personal. Not that we don’t get along, just what if something happened to you. Mr. Stark is safer.” And Tony knew this was the most honest answer he would ever get from the kid on this.

“Thanks, Underoos, but feel good sleepy time is here.” He gave a gentle push to the morphine drip and then smoothed the blankets over the kid.

May and he headed out as soon as he was asleep. “You have a way with him Tony. One I haven’t seen him let be filled since Ben.”

Tony shrugged, “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t do that Tony. That kid loves you or wants to but is scared to let it be true. Today might help get him to really let himself care about you, as well, a father figure.” “Whoa, May, I’m no dad. Howard was a jerk. He…. Well he wasn’t a dad. I can be his mentor, but I can’t parent him.”

“You already are. You give him advise, punish him when he’s doing something stupid or at least threaten too, and you care about him.”

Tony wanted to protest but he did do all those things. “Right.” He said a little chocked up at the idea. “It’s a little scary how alike the kid and I are. I just can’t imagine this is a good idea” “Welcome to my world.” May said with a laugh. “But you discover more and more ways to love him as it continues.”

Tony nodded. “You are staying the night.”

May nodded. “He doesn’t like to be alone like this and probably shouldn’t be. Even with all your oversight.”

“Oh, I meant what I said earlier no recording devices allowed.”

“That’s smart. But means even more that one of us should stay with him. And since you’ve had enough shocks for a day, it will be me.”

Tony nodded, “Thanks. Have a good night and if you need anything, absolutely anything, just push the buzzer.”

“Thanks Tony, Rest well.”

Tony nodded and then headed for his lab.

When he came to Peter’s room the next day the kid was in jeans and a funny pun t- shirt. “Hey Crocket, how are you feeling?”

“I can’t be Crocket I didn’t do anything dangerous.”

“You went into a building that was half blown up, so I’m going to have to say your wrong.”

“Technicality.” Peter said with a smile.

“Seriously though, how are you feeling?”

Peter took a moment to assess then said, “I’m doing much better. The doctor said the infection is almost gone. Between modern or a little further then modern medicine and healing patterns I’m good to go. May went to pull the car around. I was going to come see you before I left, but you were here.”

“Well I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Tony took a deep breath, put his hands in his pocket and rocked a little on his feet. ‘All that stuff we said yesterday, it’s safe with me kid. You can trust me, with injuries, money trouble, school issues, hell even girl issues. I just want you to be aware that whenever you need something, I’m one of your people.”

Peter looked at him a slightly teary look, “Is that so?”

“Yep.” He popped the P.

“Ok then,” He said, then half his lip curled into a half smile, “Tony.”

Tony smiled back. “You’re going to be held to this new standard kid.”

“I know, Tony.” He said emphasizing his name. He grabbed his bag. “Well I need to meet May.”

“Yea. We meet again on Saturday. stay out of trouble.”

Peter nodded and hurried off.

Tony rocked again on his feet as he watched the kid leave. Maybe with the right kid, he really could be more than a mentor and perhaps even a dad. He smiled to himself then headed off to find the other Avengers.

[calleo-bricriu]

Guess what I’m still reading? Still reading out of spite but, still reading?

That awful book.

Right, let's get back to the worst book I've ever read and, to note, I am including every single malicious, aggressive, definitely is trying to kill you it's not your imagination Dark Arts book I have ever handled in my entire life, just so we're clear about how bad this story is.

Chapter 5 opens with Leigh, the clear projection of the doctor-author himself, waking up in a room he doesn't recognise and not thinking anything about that is weird, instead writing it off as to it being his "inherent love for the sea" guiding him there.

He then talks for most of the rest of the page about how he has no idea how long he's been there and maybe it was his 'second personality' that was in control which is the first mention we see of that ever having been an issue from him--unless that's just his way of saying, "Must've gone on a bender again."

Tries for awhile to figure out what day it is, apparently gives up, and decides to re-focus on winning...something...from his sister and that doing that would save his son who, as far as we know (as he's only been briefly mentioned), is perfectly fine and not in need of any sort of saving.

Several paragraphs of rambling about how sane and calm he is to the point that he’s sort of proven he’s neither.

Buys a newspaper, finds out he's been blackout drunk for ten solid days, finds out from some random guy on the hotel porch that he bought a yacht.

At this point, I'll remind you that previous chapters indicate he hasn't held a steady job in over a year (mostly due to being drunk and crying to the barman that he's such a misunderstood genius), is always weeks behind on bills, and hasn't paid rent in a few months but somehow dredged up money to buy a yacht while on a bender.

Isn't bothered by this, doesn't think it's indicative of a drinking problem and also it's not his fault because the yacht seller should have known he was drunk and not sold it to him or something.

This is, like, four entire pages in to chapter five and I'm already so tired.

The Department of Magical Law Enforcement could read this book aloud in interrogations but even the Ministry might consider it torture.

Oh, Leigh’s problem isn't drinking, by the way; it's "psychic epilepsy" so it's definitely not his fault.

That's--not actually a real thing.

Anyway.

Dozen or so pages of him internally trying to figure out how the hell to get out of this, "I bought a yacht with money I have no idea how I got and possibly got by doing something very illegal" situation.

His wife is also apparently not bothered by this behaviour either, she's just happy to see him; I'd be the opposite because this has been shown to be a pattern of behaviour on his part but, well, she buys the "psychic epilepsy" excuse because she's terrified of being seen as a nag.

Nag him, good lord, do something that isn't completely enabling him to be this way.

Now the narrative is going on and on and on about "unreasonable women" who would pretty reasonably be upset if their husband couldn't hold a job, wouldn't even try to get one, wouldn't let her get one, couldn't pay the bills, and routinely did things like tell her he'd be home in a few hours then go on a 3-10 day bender and show back up without a word.

That's a reasonable set of behaviours to be at least a little annoyed about.

Leads into how it's hereditary, this psychic epilepsy thing, so absolutely not his fault.

He's a regularly paid published author now, by the way, and has been for some time despite this being the first time it's ever been mentioned in any capacity. The only two other careers we've seen from this guy are something to do with working in a laboratory in Germany and working at a hospital as a doctor before being almost immediately fired for a combination of the constant drinking and possibly just being sort of insufferable to be around at work.

Some guy named Rob walks in. No introductions apart from that, we're all just meant to know who the hell Rob is despite this being his first appearance.

Some guy named Charlie/Dr. Bell is also just randomly mentioned and is also in...the house sleeping. People think he's lazy but he's really just conservative, whatever that means.

Find out Mizpra was engaged to some guy named Moore who dumped her to go to Yale, which is evidently why she turned into a "masculine" bitch. Sure, why not?

Philosophy attempts again from Leigh the Misunderstood Genius (who definitely does not have a drinking problem and knows more than you about everything): "Love, Charlie, is  like medical treatment; if it is free, given lavishly and procured without sacrifice, it is thrown aside at pleasure, and the giver ridiculed and derided. Haud expertus loquor."

Okay, first of all, that's not what love OR medical treatment is like. Not even--remotely, especially medical treatment.

Second, stop trying to sound smart with the Latin; all you said was "not experience" there, Mr. Genius who is definitely not a direct projection of the quack doctor of an author.

Leigh used to pay stenographers to go to class for him and take notes so he could go and give theatrical performances to "insane patients". Lovely guy.

Just to remind you, we’re meant to be sympathising with Leigh in this story, not wanting to strangle him every time he opens his mouth to bore everyone for ten pages.

Leigh refuses a drink while they're all at dinner which is one of the few good choices he's made in 81 pages and a little over a year in terms of the story's time line but then ruins it all for answering a joke about it being because he's married with PAGES AND PAGES of him trying to be a fucking philosopher again and just boring the bollocks off of everyone both in the book and reading it. How the hell does this guy know what delirium tremens are yet still thinks his entire problem is caused by psychic epilepsy and not alcoholism?

Charlie asks about money for some reason, probably trying to change the topic and get this moron to stop pretending he knows what he's talking about in any capacity.

That triggers three pages of him doing the same thing, only about money this time. At least in this case, it's mentioned that Leigh "got carried away" so there's a glimmer of self awareness. Probably the only one we'll ever see.

They agree to play golf tomorrow and Leigh and Obera just--get up and leave, despite dinner having not even been delivered to the table yet. Nobody seems to notice.

Chapter 5 is now over.

Chapter 6 time skips an entire year and starts with Mrs. Newcomber and Mizpra sitting outside and it's mentioned it's been a year since Leigh tried to see her so--about a year passed between chapters five and six.

Mother dearest is described as a "pliant tool" that Mizpra somehow convinced to go to Colorado Springs to open up a school, and that's where we are now.

Colorado.

Mizpra gets to pick the ladies who get to go to the school and just seems to do so on a whim, which has made her and it wildly unpopular; fair reaction, no explanation given as to why she acts like that just that she did it "without giving any satisfactory reason."

Colorado has lots of "clever physicians" (but not enough, probably because Leigh isn't there. Yet.) but Colorado is populated by people who just hate doctors. Despite that, they keep moving there.

Then, it skips to Mizpra reading mail and one letter, "announced the  marriage of the plastic Zora to an untutored, scheming Yankee lawyer."

Okay.

First question: Who the HELL is Zora?

Second question: This isn't really a question, I'm just reasonably certain that lawyers, even lawyers in 1901, had to have some level of formal schooling. Then again, so did doctors and here we are with this guy who apparently just slept through every single year of med school he went to.

Someone named Marcia wrote as well and Mizpra doesn't like her either because she "insisted on standing for her rights" and was married to an "unknown quantity." No idea who Marcia is or how she knows Mizpra, it's not been explained yet but has been introduced in a way we’re supposed to know already.

Dr. Bell we finally fucking find out was a friend of her father's and that's why he knows both her and Leigh.

Could have explained that back in chapter five when the character was introduced but, hey, I'm no doctor, what do I know about constructing a coherent story?

Dr. Bell wrote to yell at Mizpra about her being mean to Leigh and his son. Not to Obera, to whom she has been directly mean multiple times so far, just to Leigh and his still unnamed son. The kid's like two years old now and we still haven't been told his name he's that irrelevant to the plot.

Somehow this trips her to decide she needs to just completely ruin Leigh's life because he's an obstacle to her 'designs and ambition' but it's never been explained what those are. It also doesn't explain what she's planning to do just that "she must place him in such a position as to make him helpless in his struggle for his rights. With these thoughts, horrible, fiendish, partly laid schemes arose".

They are never explained.

Maybe she's going to open another school that's just for boys and purposely and repeatedly deny his 2 year old son entrance, I have no idea at this point.

While she's distracted coming up with vague plans, her mother interrupts and says what amounts to, "I'm blind but even I can see you're an old maid."

Harsh.

Her response is to go on about how disgusting marriage is and "what poor, weak, helpless creatures women are! Such a degrading, vile, humiliating acceptance of the loss of personal freedom."

...okay. I guess that's one way of telling your mum to fuck off and that it's not that you CAN'T get married it's that you don't WANT to.

She calls some woman named Jane in to ask her if she...washed the horse yet.

The reply is "yes, mum" which is evidently how Jane pronounces ma'am. She tells Mizpra that she'd be better off hiring a man because mares respond better to men which is not at all how horses work.

Then, we have this exchange:

"No, Jane; what a man can do a woman can do better."

"You do be joking, Miss. How about the babies?"

"There are two many of them now. You should be a woman, Jane."

I was following Mizpra there up until the, "You should be a woman, Jane" bit when Jane has already been described as a woman several times in two paragraphs.

Jane tells her she is a woman and wants to get married and start a family some day, which makes Mizpra angry and somehow the author seems like this is a good time to mention her muscular frame because--that's not a thing women are allowed to have, and to emphasise that Mizpra is not a ‘good woman’, we just occasionally remind everyone how masculine she is.

I know we're meant to dislike Mizpra but, at this point, she's the most sympathetic character here, having to put up with all this nonsense and having the only reasons we're told she's 'bad' is because she has all these masculine traits (from previous chapters, broad shoulders, a deep voice, a square jaw, an 'unwomanly' figure, narrow hips, the author stopped just short of saying, "Yeah, she's basically a man in a dress that tells everyone she's my sister.")

This is page 88 of 403.

Anyway, Mizpra storms off because Jane's, "I want to get married some day" got her that mad, sits down at her desk, and starts reading which is also framed as a bad thing because Good Women don't use their brains for that, what's the matter with you?

Starts talking to herself about how her mom called her an old maid which, I mean, if she's single, not married, and implied to be over 40 that's--sort of what old maid meant. She says, to nobody in particular because she’s the only one in the room, "Well, I think I can show my sisters that I can throw off that appellation and still rule man!"

Now she needs a secretary and a lawyer to always be with her 24/7 and we finally find out that Zora and Marcia are her sisters.

That could have been mentioned much earlier in the story.

What is up with the naming conventions in this family anyway? Every other sibling gets a normal name and the others get names like Zora and Mizpra?

So, what we know now is that Mizpra:

A) Thinks her sister Zora is dumb as hell.

B) Thinks Marcia is whoring around and the way it's written comes off as envious not, "How shameful!" Nothing is stopping you from doing it too, Mizpra.

C) Thinks Leigh is a "clever fool" with a "spewing brat" and a "little, weak, dependent" all of which are entirely fair.

She goes off to arrange visiting Leigh, hoping the trip back East screws with their mother's health enough that she'll gain full power of attorney which is part of whatever evil devious plot she's got going.

Gets up to go to the mirror and get dressed, laments that she "had lost all youthful appearance of womanhood, though still young in years" gets mad at her reflection and throws everything on the vanity at the mirror then goes with, "No, I'll use my intellect, my power over him, not the feminine baubles of Eve."

Over who? Your brother? Please tell me you weren’t considering trying to be sexy for your brother.

She is then described as "short of hair and short of sex" on account simply because her hair is short. Again, the whole, "Hey, hey, have there been enough clues given to tell you that she's just straight up ugly like a man in a dress??" thing.

Even with the, "Hopefully this trip basically almost kills my mother so I can take all of her stuff and cut my brother out of the will" thing she's still the most sympathetic character so far.

Mrs. Newcomber's only real skill aside from being blind and insulting one of her daughters is droning on and on and on about the religious of ancient Egypt.

Then it goes into something that's--nice, actually, though probably wasn't considered a good thing at the time--about how more women should focus on getting an education so they're not stuck being a housewife if that's not what they want to do but, since it's 1901 that's not a thing and it wraps up with how they only think that because "neither knew they the emotions dormant in a woman's breast."

Which are, apparently, to be an uneducated housewife and mother because that’s what the men like.

We’ll just forget the fact that Mrs. Newcomber was married and has had at least four children that have made it to adulthood. That’s not important now. The important thing is she’s being an icky teacher and learning things now. How fucking unladylike.

Mizpra then goes outside, says hello to someone,  like that's it, "Hello, Burke!" and it's framed as a "clumsy attempt at coquetry". What? She--she literally just said hello to someone she knew! That's not how flirting works.

Burke, who is a pale, sickly young man, had evidently told her however long ago the other day was that he loved her and he thought she was mad at him about that.

She tells him she's not mad and explains she was in Denver and his response is to ask her why she's playing with him, she says she's not, he tells her she's being cruel (somehow? maybe because she keeps calling him a silly boy, which is, frankly, rude as hell), and we find out that Burke--as if the name and physical description weren't enough to indicate this--is kind of a social outcast because he's awkward and weird and more than a little bit dim.

But, he overheard some gossip about her and now she's literally shaking him down to make him tell her. Basically, The Men Folk don't like her ideas about women having an education, the public hates it too, and if it were the Middle Ages they'd just burn her at the stake.

Again, Mizpra comes off as the most sympathetic character in the story so far.

Oh, and she apparently doesn't like corsets and made some doctor's daughter, who is a student at her school, remove it at the front of the classroom then kept her standing there while showing all of the other girls the creases a corset puts into the skin which is admittedly entirely inappropriate for a dress code violation.

That's not the problem though, the problem is that Mizpra’s hands were "so cold and rough" that she fainted, and the implied manly hands and fainting are the part everyone is upset about.

Her reasoning for it was that the doctor's daughter, "is suffering from the feminine folly of imitating the male sex in all animal life on the globe--that is, the garnishing of the body to attract the opposite sex."

Again, not how that works; in most species, it's the male that gets all flashy and showy to attract a much drabber female's attention. I do sometimes listen to Lazarus ( @pocketsfullofspiders )  when he's talking about his work.

At the end of all that Burke...asks Mizpra to marry him at specifically 8pm that evening? What?

Okay.

Her response is to ask him if he knows how to use a typewriter. I actually kind of like her at this point, apart from the whole half undressing a teenager in front of the entire class thing.

Anyway, she agrees, because he knows how to use a typewriter so I think she just hired him as her secretary and he agreed to it because I guess his payment is getting to marry her at 8 that evening.

She leaves to go do the getting a marriage license thing and just talks to herself the whole way about how gross Burke is and, ew, he kissed her chin because she didn't get out of the way fast enough, what a fucking creep.

That's going to be a great marriage.

She chose her dressmaker based on the fact that that particular dressmaker's shop offers free cocktails to customers. Fair enough if you're getting fitted for a wedding dress to get married to someone you can't stand.

The reverend that's going to marry them is someone she's got under her thumb; she basically paid to clean up his reputation because he'd ruined it due to just sort of being a drunk, kind of like her brother. Takes him outside and first says she needs to ruin her brother's life.

With alcohol. "[...] and any other scheme you can concoct."

Leigh's weaknesses are, of course, alcohol and evidently women.

She'll pay him a salary to do this and also essentially said if he spends i ton gambling she'll track him down and break every bone in his body.

I'm still not really disliking her.

She then calls him a wind bag and a hypocrite, which he takes as a set of compliments.

He's also mad she's getting married but corrects himself and says it's a miracle; she tells him it's to Burke Wood, and gets, "He can't live six months; and married he won't live six weeks."

HAHAHA! Wives are terrible, am I right?

Her response to that is he definitely will because she's going to take good care of him and 'treat him humanely' which I feel like is the bare minimum required for a marriage, treating someone humanely.

His take on that is, "She is a eunuch in heart and mind! She possesses the soul of a sewer."

And Mizpra becomes an even more sympathetic character.

Some family she knows passed by in a carriage didn't see her so didn't wave to her and now she's also spitefully planning to ruin their lives over being blanked. Settle down, Mizpra.

Goes home, tells mom she thinks they should go see Leigh, mom rightfully points out that Mizpra has spent like two entire years repeatedly explaining why they shouldn't ever do that for any reason and that turns into a debate that the mother eventually loses and is convinced to sign over power of attorney to Mizpra.

She then explains she's getting married that evening then going to Denver the next day and her mother's only concerns about this are of her not--"taking care of Burke on your wedding night". Good priorities.

For some reason she goes off on how she has a fucking job and isn't getting married to turn herself into "a mere setting hen, a female destitute of all ideas save one--that of breeding" which is somehow shocking to her mother.

Mizpra isn't even going to tell Burke she's headed to Denver tomorrow morning until after they're married so he can't back out.

This honestly sounds like a lot of Pureblood marriages now.

Later on we find out that Burke has inexplicably been asking Mizpra to marry him for "some time" now so he's really bad at taking the hint.

So, those two are married now and he has no problems with her going to Denver on business and I'm not sure why the last half of the chapter was spent making it seem like that would be a Big Issue when his response was, more or less, "That's cool, I know how work is."

That's the end of chapter six and this is just so stupidly exhausting that I'm not even going to try to start chapter seven tonight.

Up to page 103 of 403 though!