#it must be so hard for whatever demon is coming up with this stuff

[slythereen]

i know we say it often but there is truly no beating the batshit crazy, could not make this up, absolute insanity of lestappen lore. wdym they’re about to start on the front row together on the anniversary of the inchident like what kind of fucked up coincidental magic is THAT

[goldfishontheceiling]

"Alastor is just using Rosie" NUH UH whips out the list

1. He is capable of making friends, as seen with Mimzy. So it's not that hard to believe that he can have another friend if one (cough cough MIMZY cough) just comes around when she needs something. Mimzy doesn't even benefit him in anyway, yet he doesn't cut her off, which shows he can make friends.

2. Aside from the cannibals in ep7, what else could he get from her? I mean she does recommend him deals sometimes, but anyone can do that. If his true goal was control over the cannibals then their bond would feel a lot more shallow, like ep1-ep5ish with Charlie.

3. If Alastor was using Rosie for deal recommendations (since she gives him "prime pickings for a deal to be made"), then why not just do so with a mutalistic relationship instead of having to form that bond?

4. He bleat like a fawn. If he was acting, he wouldn't let himself lose composure for an act.

5. They both kinda get close to eachother in a way they don't with anyone else. SHE PICKS HIM UP AND SPINS HIM AROUND AND HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Sure, he hugged Mimzy, but if she ever did that? She would most likely be dead.

6. If anyone else openly/jokingly insulted Alastor, he would go all scary demon ahhhhhhhh. But Rosie? Perfectly fine.

7. The way he talks to Rosie is different to the way he talks to Charlie. With Charlie he's a little bitch sometimes (oh Charlie you look an absolute mess!) and he kinda takes every chance he can to be a little bitch while still being nice and showing he's important.

8. Rosie knows things about Alastor that he hasn't even figured out (I know your an ace in the hole!), and for Rosie to know these things, that would require Alastor to open up about himself, which he doesn't like doing because "must be mysterious radio deer man." Even to Charlie, who he does have a bond with, SHE STILL JUST THINKS OF HIM AS "MYSTERIOUS RADIO DEER MAN"

9. Hating someone together is one of the easiest ways to start a friendship, especially in hell, where people hating each other is really common (Susan? Susan)

10. If he truly was manipulating all of his friends, he's a sinner, he still has a humanish mind. Humans crave bonds with other people as part of their instincts. And you could just get fake ones, but if you're the manipulator in that situation you'll know it's all fake and it won't leave you fufilled. Which is why having one or two genuine friends (Rosie/Mimzy) would have to be a requirement.

11. He has manipulated other Overlords in the past, like Vox. But with Vox, they would realistically never get along. Same with Vaggie, Angel Dust, etc, he just wouldn't be able to form a true bond with/a very strong both with those people. So yes, he's manipulating/has manipulated them. Rosie on the other hand? They're both cannibals from similar time periods, with similar interests, and they hate the same people.

12. Rosie is smart. She easily reads Charlie, a stranger, like a book. And if she's known Alastor for years (which she most likely has), she knows how to read him past that stupid permanent smile. So even if he was manipulating her, she would know.

13. He HATES Susan, and Vox, and probably some other people I can't think of off the top of my head. He can't stand them. So if he hated Rosie? He wouldn't be able to fake a bond like the one they have.

14. His pupils dilate around Rosie, which is a sign that you like/love whatever it is that you are looking at

Look at these

COMPARED TO THESE

AND IT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT'S JUST THEM TWO

15. Rosie agrees with him when he says that Charlie is "filled with potential that I could guide," so she knows that he's using her for that kinda stuff. With that moment it shows that she understands that Alastor is helping Charlie with her dream in exchange. I swear I had more thoughts on this one but then I got distracted with finding screenshots for 14-

Bonus reason that's more silly then reason: THAT DANCE IN READY FOR THIS IS TOO COORDINATED THEY HAD TO HAVE PRACTICED IT

[libby-for-life]

The Lust Potion

For 200 subscribers. A special thanks to @breedtheseed who did some wonderful art for this story. Check out their work! This is Adamsapple.

Adam was bored. Clubs in Hell, while great in theory, were so crowded and filled with sinners all trying to cop a feel of him and Angel Dust. He growled when he felt someone pull his sensitive tail. He had thought he had hidden that. Angel Dust seemed to like the attention but Adam wasn't in the mood.

He tried moving away for some fresh air, but a hand grabbed him and he was face-to-face with some wolf-looking demon. His smarmy grin made Adam shiver in disgust.

"Hey there lamby~." Ugh. Gag. Adam wrenched his hand free and glared at the wolf. "Leave me alone, asshat."

The wolf just rolled his eyes. "Whatever, slut." Adam bristled but stalked off. He just wanted to leave.

Angel Dust would be fine on his own. Stomping out of the club, a bit drunk but he was still capable of walking and speaking, he made his way to the limousine they borrowed from Charlie.

Getting inside, he sighed. God, this was a nightmare! This was supposed to be his reward for participating in Charlie’s dumb activities and 'working hard on self-improvement.' This didn't feel like a reward. He felt smothered and dirty from all the groping.

Sighing again, he decided to sleep until Angel Dust came back. He was about to close his eyes when something purple caught his eye. It was small and hidden under the seats, its glass reflecting off the pale red light of Hell. Adam smiled. Was this Angel Dust's secret stash of liquor? Nice.

Getting on his hands and knees, he pulled it out. The bottle was decorated with little black hearts, the inside glowing slightly pink. No label. No name. Oooh. The good stuff.

Adam decided to wait until he got home before drinking it.

Adam helped the spider inside and onto the couch. God, how much did he drink? "Why is he so drunk?!" Vaggie demanded, glaring up at Adam. "I'm not his babysitter, Vagina. He's a grown man in charge of his own choices. Why don't you ask him when he wakes up?" He left a fuming Vaggie as he climbed the stairs. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her sandy pussy.

His bedroom was cozy and he flopped onto his bed. Finally. Back for some peace and quiet.

Then he remembered the bottle of alcohol he had in his pocket. Damn, the stuff must be strong to only fill a small bottle. Sitting up, he took the bottle out and looked at the glowing pink liquid.

Licking his lips, he uncorked the bottle and sniffed. Sweet. Very sweet. Not really his style but considering Angel Dust preferred his sugary drinks, Adam wasn't surprised.

He took a gulp and winced at the sweetness of the pink drink. Ugh. Whatever. He was about to take another drink when he felt a warmth begin in his belly. Whoa. This stuff was strong!

He tried standing up, but his legs felt shaky for some reason. He fell to the ground, the alcoholic beverage falling to the floor. Why did everything feel so hot? He struggled to sit up but only managed that. Adam's cheeks flushed as the 'alcohol' took effect.

Everything was so warm and tingly. His body felt so sensitive. The clothes he was wearing felt itchy and Adam wanted them off.

He tried to paw at his shirt, but his hands were too warm and tingly to do anything but paw at them pathetically. He whined, the warmth in his belly spreading to his crotch. Adam was so hot and everything felt so sensitive. Why weren't his clothes coming off?!

"Adam? Charlie wanted me to—"

The lamb demon turned, looking at Lucifer who just entered his bedroom.

Lucifer just stared at the demon on the floor. He tried ignoring the position he was in and asked, "What are you doing down there?" Adam didn't say anything coherent. A whimper left his plump lips. The devil tilted his head, confused by that response. Did Adan hurt himself?

That's when he noticed it. The flush in his cheeks, the shaking posture, the drool escaping Adam's mouth, and his glazed eyes glowing pink told Lucifer there was something wrong with the lamb demon.

"Adam?"

He walked over and was about to call his name again when he kicked something. Looking down, he noticed the purple bottle on the floor, pink liquid spilling all over the wooden planks and its sweet scent filling the air. Picking it up, he examined it. Lucifer recognized it immediately. A Lust potion. Shit. Shit! How did Adam even get something like this?!

Lucifer was brought out of his thoughts by another whimper. The devil turned in time to see Adam nuzzle his crotch. He gasped in shock at the boldness. "Wait! Adam, you're—" He was cut off by another whine, a tear-filled glance up at him made Lucifer blush hard, and a part of his brain shut off. A more primal and lust-filled Lucifer took hold of his body.

His demon features poked through and he smirked at Adam’s pathetic attempt at rutting on the floor.

His poor lamb...did he have an accident? The poor thing. Did he need Daddy to help him? Kneeling, he gripped Adam's jaw and brought him close. The demon moaned at the contact.

"Oh, my little lamb. So cute and desperate like this. Want Daddy to take care of my needy little boy?" Adam whimpered and tried to get closer, his body shaking from the potion.

Lucifer chuckled and picked him up easily. Placing him on the bed, the devil ripped through his clothes, desperate to get to that supple flesh. Adam moaned as the cold air nipped at his exposed body.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" Lucifer said, kissing his jaw. The lamb demon squirmed as he was peppered with small nips and bites. "So beautiful for me." Letting his snake tongue out, he slurped Adam in for a kiss. They both groaned, tasting each other as they hugged each other close.

Lucifer was quick to take charge. He gripped Adam's hair and yanked, pulling more delicious noise from him. "That's it, my little lamb. So good for me." The devil muttered as he bit along Adam's neck before looking at the demon's chest.

His lamb's chest was so big and perky. Some of it was because he was chubby but Lucifer wondered how much of it was because Adam used to objectify those particular assets and that made his demon form more feminine-like as Hell's punishment.

Lucifer didn't care. He loved them. Taking a chosen mound, he bit its nipple and watched as Adam shook in pleasure, more drool escaping his gaping mouth.

"Aw, does my lamb like that?" Lucifer teased before sucking on it. He looped his tongue around the nub and pulled before biting again.

He let go with a pop before he licked the twin on the other side. Adam was crying, writhing under the devil's touch.

A hand snaked down and caressed his lamb's dick and the lamb almost came on the spot. "Sh. Don't go cuming right now, little lamb. Just lie there and take what Daddy gives you." With a wave of the hand, Lucifer placed some magic around Adam's hard-on. He wouldn't be cuming unless Lucifer allowed him to.

Smirking at the sight of Adam whining out pleases and tears, Lucifer shuffled down and licked the shaft of the pulsing meat before him. Just like everything about Adam, it was huge.

He licked and deep-throated the appendage while he felt Adam's hole, the ring fluttering at his gentle touches. When Lucifer felt hands in his hair, he snapped his fingers. Magic pinned Adam's wrist to the bed, making him whine in protest. The devil simply spanked his thigh to reprimand the naughty lamb.

"I said to lie there and take it, little lamb. Don't make me leave you here." An empty threat. Adam needed this lust potion out of the system or it would literally burn him from the inside. But, Adam didn't know that. The whimpers and cries were brought to a sniffle making Lucifer smirk. "Good boy~."

Kissing his thigh, he went back to deep-throating Adam's cock. His lamb took it well, shaking and crying but not fighting out of the magical restraints.

Letting go of the shaking dick, he blew it a kiss before slowly taking off his own clothes. Soon, he was naked as well. The devil's cock stood proudly and he preened when his little lamb drooled even more at the sight of it.

"You see this, little lamb? It's going inside you~." Lucifer teased before lifting Adam's thighs to the headboard. He slipped the head in. His lamb was so tight! Adam moaned high, the needy lamb shaking and thighs trembling as he took the large appendage.

"That's it! Take it! You were made for taking cock!" Lucifer yelled, pounding into Adam.

The bed rocked under their combined weight and the lamb let out squeaks and little bleats as he saw stars.

He let go of the magic surrounding Adam's dick so they could both cum together, Adam's eyes were losing that pink sheen to it.

One last thrust was all it took as Lucifer came deep inside his lamb. Adam screamed as he was finally allowed to cum. "Aaaahhh~!" The Devil looked at his little lamb who gazed back up at him.

He smirked and crawled back up to put one last mark on him. Biting his neck hard enough to draw blood, he licked at the wound while Adam groaned in pleasure and overstimulation.

"Good little lamb. Now everyone will know it was you was getting fucked tonight."

"Mmm." Was all Adam could say before passing out. Lucifer just chuckled before releasing his wrists from the magical restraints. He settled his head between Adam's chest and snuggled close. Sure, he needed to know how Adam even got that Lust potion but for now, he wanted a nap.

Hope you guys enjoyed it! When I hit 400 subs, I'll do another special!

[three--rings]

So it's time for my "alt-right dudebro gamer" Dragon Age opinions.

(Note: I'm a 45 year old womanesque queer person who mostly plays indie and Japanese games.)

(To further my cred I was super excited to meet and hear Karen and Patrick Weekes talk about this game in development at Havencon a couple years ago...it's a small queer con in Austin.)

Dragon Age is my all-time favorite game series. I adored Inquisition, though DA2 has my favorite characters overall.

My opinions about the gameplay reveal are:

The environments and background graphics and effects look awesome.

The character design still bugs me quite a bit. The faces, ESPECIALLY the female faces look Disney/anime/Overwatchy in structure. The textures looks a lot better in game than in that trailer. I miss my Not Particularly Pretty Female Characters. They have sameface now.

There's something off in the lip syncing. Mouth animations looks weird. I can't define it more than that but I noticed it with multiple characters and it through me out.

Varric's hair annoys me SO MUCH. Someone pointed out he looks like Blackwall and now I CANNOT UNSEE.

The structure of the game/quests/whatever looks fine, this reminds me of all the moments running around Haven at the beginning of Inquisition. Some of my least favorite moments, but yanno.

The combat. I'm very worried about the combat.

I am 45 years old and I have arthritis in my hands from gaming and knitting. I gave up knitting to keep gaming. I cannot play some action games. Like Hades, I tried but simply couldn't continue more than an hour because of the pain. And that's with my hands in good shape these days.

Some action games I can play, but only on easy, and sometimes only if I limit my playtime. This is simply a reality I've had to get used to, but it does kill me sometimes.

Do you know how enjoyable it was to pick up Baldur's Gate 3 and be able to put it on a higher difficulty, to be able to actually struggle through combats and have to use tricks and my brain and try and fail and do it again, all without worrying about my hands? Makes me think I need to replay Origins again.

So I'm concerned. The combat in this game is focused on attack type, dodging, parrying, countering (according to bioware)....all stuff that requires quick and frequent button mashing, which is what I can't do. So I'm looking at a game that I can probably only play on easy and maybe even not then? In my favorite game series.

The question we don't really know is how different it will be from Inquisition, and I find it hard to tell from the footage since we can't see what buttons are being pressed. But I'll say that while I love it, Inquisition was the game that first hurt my hands. It made me aware of the problem and made me have to start limiting my activity.

IDK . I just hate the idea that devs have that turn based games can't do well and are inherently not exciting.

Fucking Solas motherfucking killed Bianca! That was the first time in these reveals I've been 100% reacting as a fan. NOT BIANCA!!!! HE MUST DIE!

Oh I did like the Rook in the gameplay and his face looked good. Again I feel like it's the character design and not the engine that is the problem.

As for the plot, it's interesting that Solas has gone from Main Antagonist to Opening Antagonist and I wonder if he's actually going to transition to an ally later in the game to undo whatever the fuck has gone wrong in this clip.

I do still have some worries about the writing. "She's greatest detective ever and she has a lead on Solas." So do you think that lead is the giant glowing thing in the middle of the city spitting out demons? Did you need a great detective?

And basically nothing I've seen so far has super MOVED me, as someone with serious connections to this world and the characters, other than the fucking Bianca moment. I'm hesitantly curious about some of the new companions. And if the griffon thing had come at a moment other than me going WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS? in the trailer I may have been a lot more excited.

So yeah, call me a hater or whatever. But that trailer reveal CRUSHED me emotionally. I was so depressed the rest of the day Sunday. These are my true reactions to the gameplay footage today. I don't have an agenda, other than I want the game to be good and I want it to do well and my confidence in EA and Bioware is at a very low point.

I've tried to keep a realistic mindset this whole time, but keeping in mind HOW MANY PEOPLE have left Bioware, how few OGs are left, the constant turnover in leads, the game being scrapped and redone like twice from scratch. And the game industry as a whole at this time, I have to be somewhat skeptical in general.

I'm not a skeptic overall, I was both a Cyperpunk 2077 enjoyer (but not apologist) and a Starfield defender and frankly there was a lot less reason to be skeptical of those games before release. So am I going to say "well I've been a Bioware fan since KOTOR 1 released, so I'm gonna hype it up and not point out flaws I see?" No. I'm going to be honest.

I'm not a casual Dragon Age enjoyer. I can't react casually to this stuff.

Will I play the game? Almost definitely, but am I going to wait till the release reviews? Probably.

[zmediaoutlet]

“I’m starving. You think they’ll let me sell your ass for a Slim Jim?”

“You made that joke last time we were arrested.”

“What, you think a good bit is only good once? I get no respect, no respect.” The last part not much of an impression because Sam presses harder on the bullet wound with the wad of toilet paper and Dean’s voice goes thin and crackly. A clean-ish hole, in through the meaty part of his shoulder and out by his armpit. Could’ve got his heart or a lung but it doesn’t even feel like it cracked the collarbone. Apparently demons are terrible shots. Lucky, Dean had said, swallowing hard and making his voice harder after. Sam didn’t dignify it with a response.

Dean’s trying to get blood off his hand with more TP. It’s thin, awful stuff, shreds against the tacky stain. The chain between the bracelets clinking. “In those Norwegian prisons I bet they get wet wipes, huh?” he says. Sam takes a deep breath through his nose. “Pampered, or whatever. Could go for some pampering.”

“I’m not killing you,” Sam says, “does that count,” and Dean laughs breathy and weird. It must really hurt. He’d be throwing Sam off already, otherwise.

They dragged the body of Henriksen’s old boss out into the main part of the jail. There’s been shouting. A boom that shook the building but no one has told them what it was, exactly. They aren’t currently top priority, despite being such world-class criminals. A break but not much of one, with Dean still bleeding over Sam’s hands. With what’s coming.

“Demons, huh,” Dean says. On the same train of thought when blood’s on the line, as always. He shifts on the shitty jailhouse mattress, gets his bootheels square on the ground. Sam shifts along with him, keeping the slack easy between their manacled ankles. “Better or worse than cops?”

Henriksen’s vicious little grin, telling them they’d never see each other again. Not quite yellow eyes but Sam’s stomach flips. Dean’s fingers slide over his, in the enveloping shadow of Dean’s jacket. Sam’s let his grip go slack.

“Can’t exorcise a cop,” Dean says, answering his own question because Sam feels like he’s going to puke. Taking point, as always. “Gotta be a point in the demons’ favor.”

“How are we gonna get him to believe us,” Sam says.

It’s all he can think. There are demons and there’s this asshole, do-gooder cop, who thinks he’s saving the day from monsters when he doesn’t know what monsters really are. If they had iron and salt and silver and a chance they might make it out. Maybe. Not like this.

“He thinks we’re psycho graverobbing murdering cannibals, Sammy, I’m not sure we’re in the circle of trust,” Dean says. He jostles his shoulder against Sam’s chest, even though that must hurt. “But hey, at least he didn’t guess about—”

“Jesus,” Sam says. Dean grins white in the emergency lights. No, Henriksen didn’t say that, did he. Although he did—about Dad—

“You think if we start making out in here, they’d open the door?” Dean’s fingers slip against his, pressing both their hands harder against his shoulder. He flinches. Still grinning. “Just to pull us apart, anyway. Worth a shot.”

“Shut up,” Sam says. Dean bites his lip, turning his face away. His chin trembles and Sam wants to—lay full length over him, take the next bullet if it comes. Go back in time and exorcise the demon before it could pull its gun, get Henriksen against the bars and get his hands around Henriksen’s neck and force him to hear the truth. That the dark was swarming up around them and if Henriksen didn’t let them go then it was going to take everyone in this station and, worse, it was going to take Dean and there was no chance, not one in the fucking world, that Sam was going to let his brother go without a fight. That it was impossible for that to happen again. Everything in him was solid on that part. That just—there’s no way that was going to happen.

Dean’s knee sags and presses against Sam’s. “Okay, so,” Dean says, chin tipping down. “We’ll take out the demons, save the day. Guess even cops beat demons. And save the making out part for later, huh? Though I could go for some of that surf and turf.”

Sam breathes out. He puts his forehead down to Dean’s shoulder for two seconds, and then sits up straight. There’s more shouting, somewhere past the hall to the holding cells. Sam squeezes his wrist, lets him drop his hand, presses the compress hard and solid against the wound. Dean’s looking straight ahead, steady. A well, somewhere in him, that always seems to have one last drop of relief.

[avionvadion]

One, really love the drabble regarding El and Lucifer. Especially since you can tell Lucifer is struggling to stay in the moment, but Elanora is doing a pretty good job keeping him grounded in reality. Which works out in his favor because that actively lets him start writing the letter instead of giving up before he even starts.

Two, I admit it. Whilst I know the circumstances probably won't let it happen, I can totally see El joining in on Ellie and Charlie's duet during "You Didn't Know" (maybe she was dragged along so she can guilt trip the higher ups of Heaven lol) because sure, she may not be able to come up with lyrics on the spot, but I can see her being able to join in on that sort of thing. And, well, considering everything revealed at Heaven El would be justified in getting a bit angry at Sera alongside Ellie and Charlie-

Alsjslsjlaksks thank youuuu! 💕💕💕

I struggled so hard trying to write Lucifer a song. El was going to sing a song that followed the line of “trust me” but I couldn’t find one outside of FnaF and Jungle Book (oh the irony there) before scrolling through my old middle school Sound Cloud playlist and was like, wait. Holy frick. Lost Within fits Luci so well???? And thus that happened, lol.

Anyways! Sorry. I ramble.

Luci’s brain is so scrambled, he needs someone to pull him back sometimes. I imagine there ends up being a few moments when he and El are together and he starts to get so distant it actually starts to scare her, and she ends up grabbing his arm- surprising him and snapping him out of his spiraling mind- to make sure he doesn’t just… disappear.

And for sure El would go with them. Charlie will be using her to be like, “All the Sinners at the hotel have been protecting this poor, innocent soul that was wrongly summoned to Hell! She’s been helping me redeem them, one step at a time!”

Heaven is absolutely going to lose their shit because WHAT DO YOU MEAN A HUMAN WAS SUMMONED INTO HELL!??? Emily would be ecstatic while Sera is just… no longer functioning.

They probably try to convince her to stay in Heaven instead since she’s so “pure hearted” or whatever and it’d be safer for her, but El is like, “Haha sorry I promised Lucifer a thing so I gotta stay” and they’re like “LUCIFER!??? WHAT PROMISE!???” “Ah, well, he said he’d protect me if I give him advice about some stuff and I kinda gotta be in Hell for that…” and Adam just fucking loses it. “BITCH YOU’RE STAYING IN HELL FOR THAT FUCKING LOSER???” “That loser’s ex wife used to be YOUR wife, dude” “SHUT THE FUCK UP, STAY IN HELL. HOPE YOU DIE TOMORROW AND TURN INTO A DEMON SO I CAN EXTERMINATE YOU NEXT WEEK”

(Adam immediately gets smacked upside the head by Sera)

I think by that point in time, El has been in Hell for so long she can participate in songs- but she can’t burst out singing with one of her own. Also maybe her relationship with Lucifer comes into a play a bit, since he’s magic (ancient magic, specifically) and… well…

Being repeatedly exposed to magic would certainly start letting one be affected by it, right? Haha… ha… ahem. Maybe she isn’t wholly human anymore after a while. El may not have fallen or died, but giving oneself to the literal King of Hell, former archangel or not, isn’t about to let you stay Human. 👀

Anyways. Yeah. El would be pissed and would probably throw shade at the angel council that, while Hell may be full of horrors, the people there are at least honest- something Angels are supposed to be- and have gone out of their way to make her feel welcome, whereas Heaven is full of hypocrites and assholes like Adam who just make her uncomfortable.

“If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie! If Angels can do whatever and remain in the sky!” Ellie hops up on the table behind Emily and Charlie. “The rules are shades of gray, when you don’t do as you say! When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again!”

Hell is Forever is such a freaking bop though oh my gods. You Didn’t Know a masterful reprise of it.

I’m obsessed with Loser, Baby though. It’s so swingy and jazzy and UGH. It’s so good.

[honoviadakai]

What I think team Urameshi smells like

(This was literally the brainchild of what happens when you wanna give your friends and family expensive perfume but you’re broke so you make it instead! Also I’m one of those ppl that can smell rain before it rains so I’m someone who naturally has a sensitive nose (╯ ‿ ╰,))

Yusuke:

Top notes: sweat, hair gel and some cheap body spray

Bottom notes: whatever his last meal was, detergent, Keiko’s favorite perfume

I don’t care how old Yusuke gets, he’s a lazy dingus at heart and he’d buy the cheapest body spray and hair gel he can get his hands on because “it gets the job done”

Which is fair

He’s also the active type sooo…he gets a bit sweaty

If you’ve ever been to a dojo, dance studio, or any place full of people who’re training/exorcizing in some way, you know the smell of sweat never really leaves the room, let alone the people

Thankfully he does bathe from time to time so it’s never too unbearable

Now the bottom notes are admittedly weird but hear me out

You ever eat a big meal, take a food nap, wake up and still kinda smell what you ate?

That’s Yusuke

It just kinda sticks to him sometimes

It’s never really bad but you’re always gonna subconsciously know what this guy ate for lunch and it’s a little weird

The detergent smell comes from the fact that he trains/fights a lot

I seriously doubt Keiko or Atsuko tolerate the smell of Yusuke’s sweaty ass for longer than they have to so they’re gonna wash his clothes the moment it gets bad

And you bet your ass they’re using the extra strength stuff

It low key bothers Kurama and high key bothers Hiei

Demon noses are sensitive so they always know when laundry day has passed, much to their dismay 😔

Now why would he smell like Keiko’s perfume if he’s not Keiko???

You ever hug someone so hard you still smell their perfume/cologne? Or just hung around someone so much your clothes start to smell like them a bit?

That’s why Yusuke smells a bit like Keiko

All his friends tease him about this fact. All of them.

Basically Think of Yusuke like an odor absorbing sheet, cuz he kinda just smells like the people and places around him

Now slight spoilers here

Yusuke’s part demon

Tbh it weirdly doesn’t affect his natural scent as much as you’d expect it to

He just tends smells like he lives out in the mountains by himself and chooses not to bathe often

Again, he’s a sweaty boy so for some reason his demon blood amplifies the natural musk in his sweat

I don’t advise being near him after a workout session if you have a sensitive nose

The stank is strong with this one after training 😖

Kuwabara:

Top notes: cat(in a good way), sweat, pomade

Bottom notes: cat(in a bad way), hair spray, cigarette ashes

Eikichi is his baby. Period.

He cuddles and pampers her on the daily so he’s gonna smell like they little kitty

She’s thankfully a clean cat so it’s tolerable

That being said….

If you’ve ever been around a cat owner…specially AFTER they’ve cleaned the litter box…

Yeeeeah….its not great

But that’s why it’s a bottom note

it doesn’t hit your nose hard or even at all if he’s careful but cat 💩 has a way of punching you in the face when you least expect it

Sacrifices must be made to keep princess Eikichi happy

I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them on Kazuma Kuwabara’s behalf 💅

Anyway!

Another sweaty boi 🙄(Affectionate)

He sweats the most out of everyone on the team so he smells just a smig worse the guys after an intense training session

Not that you could tell cuz they all smell kinda bad after training 💀

This dude is rocking a pompadour on the reg so the smell of pomade and basically all his other hair products is just permanently apart of him

You could bathe him using the most powerful shampoos and chemicals and the smell of pomade would never leave him

It’s permeated down into his bones

Hope you don’t mind that 😁

Now I believe both his sister AND father smoke around him

Cigarette smoke just has this annoying habit of seeping it’s smell into your clothes

He doesn’t mind it tbh but sometimes people assume he’s the one who smokes cuz he just smells like someone who does smoke

He weirdly enjoys it

It boosts his punk/yankee image

It’s also an excuse for him to hang around Shizuru more

Not that he’s ever needed one to be around his big sis ❤️

Kurama:

Top notes: roses, musk(in a good way), vanilla

Bottom notes: musk(in a bad way), old wood, damp grass

This one’s a no brainer, the dudes main weapon is called a rose whip, of course he’s gonna smell like roses!

Tbh he just generally smells like the inside of a florist shop but rose is the one that sticks out the most

On days where he’s calm and melancholy though, he weirdly smells like you’re sitting in an open field of wet, dewy grass

That smell is always naturally there

But sometimes that’s all you’ll smell

Like he’s trying to erase even his very scent…but he can never fully do it…

He also smells like Vanilla!

Why? Because his mom used to make cookies for him a lot as a kid

Cute right?

🙂

She use to make them a lot because it was one of the ONLY ways she could get him to listen to her when he was little

Then after the accident that caused Kurama to begin to love his mother with all his heart, he helps make them

The smell of vanilla just kinda seeped into his skin

While he has made them a lot in the past, he hasn’t yet perfected the recipe

He noted this when his mom got sick and he made the cookies to make himself feel better

They just did not taste like the ones his mom make…they only smelled like them…

ANYWHO!

He smells musky!

Like…really musky…

Sometimes it’s good, like it’s a very calming natural musk that, depending on who you are, is gonna be a very attractive smell!

…but here’s the thing…

He’s a fox…a fox demon sure, but still a fox

…you ever smell a fox…?

It’s not exactly the best smell in the world…

They’re often described as smelling “Musky and skunky”

So to give you an idea of what being around Kurama is like, imagine this…

Sometimes he smells like a flower shop that’s right next to a bakery 😌

Other times…he smells like someone who was hot boxing inside a hollowed out tree…and roses…

It was so bad when he was in middle school that there was a brief point that his family, classmates and teachers legitimately thought he was secretly smoking weed and maybe that was even why he was always so calm

Thankfully he was able to prove his innocence…but he still just naturally smells…odd

Demons just naturally have a strong smell (see Hiei’s section for more), but given that he’s living a a “human” in the human world, getting a sniff of him is always just jarring wether you’re human or demon

It’s like Yoko and Shuichi are in a constant war over what Kurama is supposed to smell like so he’s always striking the weird balance of smelling pleasant and smelling like he lives in a cabin full of plants and foxes

Hiei(and really all his other demon friends)is the only one that it never bothers

Everyone else is weirded out by it but honestly, you get use to it after a while

It’s an odd combination of smells for sure, but it’s calming

He truly gives the vibe of a chill man who smokes weed in the woods with animals, smell and all

Hiei:

Top notes: ashes/smoke, a forest after it rains, something akin to demon musk

Bottom notes: blood, sweat, brimstone

Let’s start with the nice ones

He smells like a forest before, during and after a rain storm all at once 😌

Calming but chaotic all at all once

Very pleasant ☺️

He’s also got a naturally smoky smell

Now that sounds good right?

Yeah it can be

But sometimes…that smokiness reminds you he’s not a human…

Especially when that ashy, Smokey smell mixes in with the natural brimstone bottom note smell he has

He’s a fire demon and his natural burning fire and brimstone smell is your first reminder/warning

He also smells like blood and sweat

It’s not always a strong smell…but it’s always there

The sweat is innocent enough, he trains daily. Training a lot makes you sweaty

The blood though…

He grew up with killing being a necessary skill you learned and he sometimes did it for fun

So after years of fighting and killing, the smells of blood and burning corpses is just part of his natural scent

A huge part of his natural scent though is also something humans won’t be able to fully comprehend

He’s a demon born and raised in the demon realm so he is gonna smell like the demon realm

Obviously if you’re human you’re just not gonna understand what that smell even is, but something in the back of your head knows it’s not “normal”

As stated with Kurama, demons naturally have a strong smell and Hiei’s is stronger than Kurama’s when you notice it

The closest a human could get to describing his demonic smell is this:

Imagine living with a wild animal that lives inside a volcano

Even then that sentence isn’t correct

There’s just not a proper way for a human to explain what a demon smells like

A demon though absolutely can though!

But they’re not at all helpful!!!

If you ask someone like Jin or Chu to describe Hiei’s scent this is how they respond…

“Oh, he smells like a fire demon!”

🧍‍♀️

So helpful guys…

Asking Kurama isn’t any better but he at least TRIES

The way he explains it is a demon’s scent always delivers information

Species, age, sex, status, ect

It’s basically their ID card that everyone has access to at all times

And Hiei’s scent tells everyone “I’m a fire demon that WILL kill you if I deem it necessary”

And if you think about that…it makes sense!

Think about it

This little guy has access to a flaming dragon that’s composed entirely from the flames of the deepest pit of hell

MF basically smells like the inside of hell!

His scent is as aggressive and abrasive as he is

But if you get use to it, if you like it, it’s very calming

It’s a scent that’s constantly reminding you that you’re in the presence of a fire demon that could incinerate you instantly, but said demon is also a calm, quiet person that’s content with minding his own business in peace

[meenatranslates]

[SSR] Taichi | Demon of Hell

"Welcome to Hell. What sin have you committed to come here? Well, whatever it is, you're going to atone for it." Related event: Hell's Hot Springs Village

__________________________

To Remove the Demon's Horns - Part 1

__________________________

*Director's default name as Izumi

―Taichi’s House (Day)―

Taichi: Look at these~! They’re photos of the hot springs that we went to for our training camp!

Mirai: Wow, so many pretty hot springs!

Masato: I wanna go too!

Taichi: We should visit there with the whole family next~.

Masato: Huh? You’re wearing a weird outfit here.

Taichi: Oh, we had a play while we were there, and I performed wearing that. I played a demon role so there are horns on my head!

Masato: You’re right! They look cool...!

Mirai: You look really good with them, Oniichan! Both the horns and outfit!

Taichi: Hehe, thank you!

Mirai: All the people who watched your play must be lucky~. I wanted to see this cool-looking Oniichan acting.

Masato: Me too!

Taichi: Aww, that makes me so happy...!

I’ll make sure to show you if there’s another chance then.

―Lounge―

Sakyo: Alright, I guess that’s all the work for today.

Izumi: Seems so! Thanks for the hard work, Sakyo-san! Should I brew some tea?

Sakyo: Sorry, but I have plans that I must attend to after this.

Izumi: Is that so.

...Ah, I think I’m going to reorganize the storage room. It seems like we’ve got more stuff in there before I know it.

Sakyo: Just let Matsukawa do that.

That guy’s always come up with excuses to get out of cleaning the storage room.

Izumi: That’s not true. I’ll have you know that he helped me out the other day.

Sakyo: Even so, it’s always you who do it every time.

Izumi: Well, I just think that those who can when they can, should do it. I have some time after this, so it should be fine...

Taichi: Ah, Director-sensei and Sakyo-nii! Oh no, did I interrupt your work!?

Sorry! I’ll leave right away after I grab a drink!

Sakyo: Hold on, Nanao. Are you free right now?

Taichi: Eh? Uhh, well, I am... Why do you ask?

Sakyo: She’s planning to reorganize the storage room. Help her out if you’re free.

It’s unfortunate that I can’t lend a hand since I have something to do later on.

Taichi: Sure, I can do that!

Izumi: Oh, you don’t need to! I’ll be fine on my own...

Taichi: But won’t it be tough if you need to carry something heavy? I’ve got some time anyway, so let me help you!

Izumi: Well, thanks, I appreciate that. I’ll count on you then, Taichi-kun!

__________________________

To Remove the Demon's Horns - Part 2

__________________________

―Storage Room―

Taichi: Should I put the box here?

Izumi: That’s a pretty old-looking box. What’s inside?

Taichi: Let’s see... Looks like some assorted props. They’re all stuff that I’ve never seen before.

Ah, I spotted some demon’s horns! They look like the ones I wore at the training camp!

Izumi: They really do! But I wonder when these were used...?

Taichi: Hmm... They look pretty worn out, so maybe the first generation used them?

Izumi: That’s plausible...

Taichi: Speaking of horns, I showed the photo of me as a demon during our training camp to my younger siblings.

They both said they wanted to see it with their own eyes! I was so happy at that time~.

Izumi: Fufu, I hope they can one day.

Taichi: Yeah! Ma-kun especially likes the horns.

I know! How about I send him a picture of me wearing these?

Izumi: Haha, that’d be nice! I hope he’ll be happy with that.

Taichi: I hope so! Now then...

Equipped~!

...Hm? Hmm??

Izumi: What’s wrong?

Taichi: I had a weird feeling just now... Like, it kinda feels like they penetrate into my head somehow...?

Izumi: What?? How about you try taking them off?

Taichi: Right. ...Wait, huh? HUH!?

I- I can’t get them off...!

Izumi: That can’t be...! Can I try pulling them?

Taichi: Please do!

Izumi: Here I go... Hngh-!

Taichi: Ow, ow, ow! That hurts~!

Izumi: Does this mean... they’re stuck to your head...?

Taichi: Uueeh, I think so... But normally, it’s not possible for this to happen, right...?

Izumi: Hmm...

―Lounge (Night)―

Banri: ...So, you tried putting on the horns at the storage room, and then suddenly you couldn’t get them off at all.

Taichi: Huhuu, it’s like they’re part of my head now~! I’m not gonna be stuck looking like this forever, am I?!

Omi: Hmm, there must be a way we can fix this.

Izumi: If only we could know the cause, or at least the reason...

Taichi: Me and Director-sensei have been thinking, but we couldn’t come up anything...

Sakyo: You sure about that? Maybe you did something bad, and that’s your punishment for it.

Taichi: Ehh!? That can’t be it! I’m sure that-!

......

Azami: Sounds like you know something.

Taichi: Urk-!

Uhh, you see... I accidentally dropped a bundle of receipts from the table...

I hurriedly put them back in date order before Sakyo-nii came back, but I somehow got them all wrong...!

Sakyo: I did think it was weird that the dates were all over the place when they weren’t a few moments ago... So it was your doing.

Taichi: Wahhh, I’m sorry~! I didn’t mean to~!

Juza: He tried puttin' them right again, so can’t say that’d be the cause.

Taichi: Juza-san...!

Omi: Still, this reminds me of the Jiangshi incident. (1)

Taichi: Oh, the one when I got possessed by a Jiangshi ghost...

Banri: Well, this time’s better than that.

Azami: How‘d you resolve it back then?

Izumi: If I recall correctly, Muku-kun used the amulet that he made on Taichi-kun, and then he was back to normal again.

Juza: Yeah. Try askin’ for his help again this time.

Taichi: You’re right! Okay, I’m heading to his room now!

Izumi: (Everyone is so calm and composed... I guess since bizarre occurrences happen a lot in this dorm, they’ve become immune to them...)

=====NOTES=====

[1] Referring to Taichi's SSR "What's Wrong with Being a Ghost"

__________________________

To Remove the Demon's Horns - Part 3

__________________________

―Room 202 (Night)―

Muku: Your horns look really cool...!

Taichi: Hehe, you think so?

...Wait, no! That’s not what I came here for! Mucchan, can you think of any solutions for these?

Muku: Horns that won’t come off... Hmm...

Taichi: Maybe I’m cursed or something...

Muku: Ah...! If it really is a curse, then I think I figured out how to dispel it!

Though it’s just based on a manga I’ve read...

Taichi: You serious?! I don’t care if it’s from a manga, please tell me...!

Muku: Okay, so... There’s a chapter in which the main protagonist got a bit carried away and thus they were inflicted with a cursed tail that couldn’t be removed no matter how hard they tried.

Taichi: No way, that’s like how I am right now...! So what happened next?!

Muku: The protagonist did some research and found that they needed to accumulate good deeds to break the curse.

And so, they did many acts of kindness for other people. In the end, the curse was lifted, and they finally got the tail removed!

Taichi: For other people... Kindness... I get it now!

Muku: Well, it’s still just a manga after all, so I don’t know if it would have any effect on your horns or not...

Taichi: It’s more than enough! Thanks, Mucchan!

I’ve got no other clues anyway, so I’ll try out the methods that you told me just now~!

―Lounge (Evening)―

Izumi: (I messed up at work today...)

(They told me not to worry about it, but I might not be able to assist other theatre companies like this...)

Hahh...

Taichi: Oh, you’re back! Welcome home, Director-sensei!

Izumi: I’m home... Your horns are still on your head, I see.

Taichi: They are~. I tried following Mucchan’s advice and did lots of good deeds...

For the whole day, I’ve been helping other members, picking up trash, and many other things. But they don’t seem to work at all~...

Izumi: Is that so...

Taichi: ? ...Director-sensei, did something happen to you today?

Izumi: Eh...?

Taichi: I mean, it’s fine if nothing happened!

I just thought that you look less cheerful than you usually do...!

Izumi: Oh... It’s written all over my face, isn’t it. That’s a bit embarrassing.

Taichi: So I was right then. You don’t need to tell me about it if you don’t wanna.

Izumi: ...Thank you. I actually made a mistake while I was helping out with other theatre company and that made me feel a bit upset.

I mean, I did think of reflecting on it and improving myself since it’s true that I slipped up, so...

Taichi: Hm~... You’re bound to feel down if you made a mistake, be it big or small...

But! I think you’re amazing!

Izumi: Eh?

Taichi: Cuz like, you’re not just feeling upset about it, you actually tried to reflect on it and improve yourself.

That part of you makes me think you’re super cool! I respect you a lot for that!

Izumi: Thank you, Taichi-kun. I’m kinda embarrassed hearing you have that much respect for me, which I think is a bit exaggerated, but... I do feel happy.

Taichi: No, no, I’m not exaggerating-.

Izumi: ...Hm!? Oh my gosh, Taichi-kun! You don’t have the horns anymore!

Taichi: Wait, really!?

You’re right, it’s not there...! Does that mean they’ve disappeared...?

Izumi: I-I guess...? It vanished when I looked away for a second...

Taichi: Why suddenly though...?

Izumi: Hmm...

Maybe it’s because you accumulated good deeds for helping others all day today...

And what triggered it to disappear was when you encouraged me. ...I genuinely felt happy with your words earlier.

Taichi: Hehe, I’m glad I was of help to you!

🌸 Choice 1:　I feel better!

Izumi: Not only that, but I’m feeling better more than I usually am! Taichi: Really? That makes me happy too! I’ll do all I can to cheer you up, so if you ever feel down again, just call me! I’ll rush over to you, anytime and anywhere~! Izumi: I think I’ll do that. I’ll be counting on you when that time comes!

🌸 Choice 2:　Was I of help?

Izumi: If the horns disappear because you cheered me up, would that mean I was a bit helpful to you? Taichi: It’s “not a bit” for me! I’m sure it’s all thanks to you that they’re gone now! Izumi: Then maybe it was a good thing that I got upset from a mistake I did at work today. No wait, making a mistake is really not a good thing...! Taichi: Director-sensei...! Such a great positive thinking! Honestly, I’ve got nothing other than respect for your thoughts and actions! Izumi: Haha, you’re praising me too much. But still, thank you.

Taichi: Anyway, I’m glad I’m free from the horns now~!

I seriously thought I’d never get to take them off ever again... I’m gonna have the other Autumn Troupe members to take a look at me later.

Izumi: Haha, I agree. It seems like they’re gone now, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Taichi: Yeah! Well, besides that, I’ve asked them for help with the horns, so I wanna give them a status update.

Muku also helped me once again, so I gotta buy lots of chocolate as thanks for him!

Story Clear!

[thebunniesgrim]

helluva boss’ humor really trips me up sometimes  

(long post like really long post i go off)

Because sometimes it plays with hell's society and makes funny jokes like the HR joke in Spring Broken. One thing that sticks out like a sore thumb is when it makes jokes or points fun at prudes in the universe. Which btw I don’t think this bad or anything it’s just something that pulled me personally out of the show. It’s still funny at the end of the day but!  

Like the normalcy of death, swearing, sex, innuendos and all that. like jokes that would make you or me pause for a second wouldn’t be such a deal to them and vice versa is funny. Honestly the M&M’s being in a loving relationship in hell as a joke is funny  

But the thing that trips me up is the way some demons in universe react to the jokes doesn’t make any since. I understand their reaction is a joke, but why did they have that reaction anyway? for example  

In the LooLoo Land episode a good joke was when Octavia said she was going to be sick then Moxxie panics going through different medications and pulls out a bunch of syringes full of morphine just to casually throw them into a baby stroller when Octavia says she wasn’t really sick. Hilarious and it shows the human and demon side of moxxie love it. Although in the same episode Blizto says he isn't a day hooker and the lady walking by judges him and he calls her a prude. Funny yes! But why does she care like girl he has a whole gun and that’s what you choose to be concerned about? Ok. I understand her being shocked is the joke but why is she? In a place where being a hooker is possibly the most normal thing to them as being lawyer is to you or me. Why such a strong reaction?  

(Stolas has green screen arms lol)

Even the newest Mammon ep in Fizz’s “two weeks' notice or whatever it's called” song when he say “spending life bent over with your fist in my ‘A’” and the crowed is like shocked or put off by it like sure maybe they just weren't expecting it but he literally says bent over and even shakes his little imp ass at them while setting up the joke. It could have also been that they were surprised he censored himself. I don’t know, do you know?  

Also, I must say hell born demons don’t have to be always ok with sex jokes. A little verity never hurts anybody. just Like Moxxie not very violent or having his limits is fine and also Striker being uncomfortable or not liking that everyone makes sex jokes at his expense is kind of funny it's of the same caliber of funny that the M&M’s gimmick has. I also think he doesn’t like the sex jokes because he doesn’t have control of the situation (or Stolas, Moxxie, and Fizz just aren't his type who knows lol) he was more than ready to diddle Biltzo’s holes if it meant he’d join Striker. Also, he didn’t seem to mind the other imps fawning over him even if he did kick that one girl in the face. Kind of like a you can look but don’t touch kind of thing. He likes or deals with the jokes until he can't control the situation and it's like come one dude, I'm trying to kill you cower before me plz :( you feel me? Like that makes since because it can be explained away with, their character but seeing as it’s not a social norm so when others who we don’t know and are supposed to show the status quo do it, it’s a little bit weird you know?  

This also applies to Helluva Boss in general not just jokes. It’s honestly hard to tell what's allowed in hell and what isn't sometimes even for jokes because you know how a lot of people were weirded out at the kid being at the clown pageant and everyone is like “dude its hell they don’t have the same type of morals as we do” but also have people in the show react to sex or taboo stuff like it's weird you know? Like yes, I expect hypocrisy in the world of hell like a whole “rules for thee but for me” kind of thing. It is hard to stay true to that when the rules aren’t enforced?  because one second, you’ll have Loona and Blizto making fun of Moxxie for being “fat”, but you also want me to care when Mammon calls Fizz fat. I'm supposed to take Loona beating up Blizto as a joke but once Stella raises a hand to Stolas, I'm supposed to be like oh no abuse! 

Speaking of abuse. Mammon is just Blitzo cranked up to eleven. They are practically the same character given what the show tells us. What Blitzo does to Moxxie is the same thing Mammon does to fizz only cranked up to nine. Mammon says things that make Fizz worry I.e. “ready to reclaim your win another year... I saw your competition and it's pretty stiff, right? You are going to have try extra hard” remember in “The Harvest Moon Festival” ep where Blizto says “now just remember your rep with the in laws is on the line here so, no pressure at all you totally will not make an ass of yourself in front of everyone important in your life” he totally did that on purpose. How about when Mammon calls Fizz a “a bit chungo”? blitzo in seeing stars “you know it wouldn’t kill ya to put a salad in your body every now and then” and he says it meaner. He even encourages Loona to also call moxxie fat so while it’s still Loona doing it Blizto not telling her to chill out or something and there by condoning it, but he has the nerve to clutch his stupid little pearls (also blitzo isn't Wareing his mom little necklace thing in ep) when Mammon does the same thing.

The fuck is that face for you slimy little bitch?  

Mammon says sexually charged stuff to Fizz that is very obviously making him uncomfortable but disregards it like its nothing? “The more they’ll want a piece of you they can home and fuck! Don’t you want that Fizzy? to be fucked?” Then Fizz said no, and he disregarded it. Blizto in Murder Family, Harvest Moon, Truth seekers, Ex's and Ohs when he makes a big deal about someone having sex with both Moxxie and Millie and then making a big deal at the fact that he, Moxxie and Millie have had sex with the same person also maybe Ozzie's when he says he watches the M&M get it on but it's hard to gaze if Moxxie’s reaction was surprise, disgust or both. Mammon calls Fizz a “a stupid little [HONK]” Blizto calls Moxxie “a fucking disgrace” in Unhappy Campers but to be fair I make it an active effort to forget that ep is canon so. Mammon puts Fizz in a situation he can't handle, which leads to a panic attack. Blizo in the first ep Murder Family where Moxxie doesn’t want to kill Martha because he doesn’t want to kill a mother and ruin a family and is openly hesitant and uncomfortable about it causing him to have a small panic and mess up the mission at first. Mammon tells fizz to get his shit together with the underlying threat of firing, terminating, or worse. Murder family Blitzo says “But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife”. Both BLizto and Mammon treat Fizz and Moxxie all buddy buddy when they do stuff, they want but when they don’t comply or might not do something they don’t like they get mean or aggressive. They only main differences is that Moxxie can talk back to Blizto in a way and fizz can't. Also, Fizz actually quits, and escapes his horrible boss.  

I know that the pilot isn't cannon but it’s the blueprint of the characters and Blizto being abusive to moxxie sexually and verbally being a constant throughout the pilot and the canonized show is just... icky 

The show will tell me that imps and hellhounds are at the bottom of society but also have them stand up to the deadly sins like it no big deal. Loona tried to fight Beelzebub, Crimson tried to bribe and blackmail Asmodeus, Fizz stands up Mammon (as he should but Mammon could have literally tuned him into a smoothie) like the deadly sins are the next things to gods and these low-level nobodies are trying to square up. Not only does it make the deadly sins look like total wusses, but it also makes hellhounds and imps look more powerful than they are. Striker saying royals' step all over imps and treat them horribly and other than stella literally throwing Pringles and referring to him as “this one”

but Stolas literally uses Pringles as like a phone stand in Seeing Stars so.... 

The only ones who we’ve seem treat the imps like that on a regular basis are other non-royal hell born demons like the twins in Mammons ep. The lady and her kid in the doctor's office in western energy, the hellhound bodyguards in The Circus and even other imps like how Millies family treat Moxxie because he’s traditionally strong, or how striker thinks that he and blizto are far better then they’re own kind. Sure, the imps are butlers, purse accessories, and work on farms to feed the other rings. Other than the farm thing other demons do too from what we’ve seen. Also, from what we have seen, the royals are so detached from imps it seems like Strikers’ biggest problem is other demons themselves. The only royal we see talk down to imps is Stolas. Stella, Andrealphus, Paimon, never says much about them or even addresses them in any kind of way that’s outright negative, it’s more or less just plain indifference. I mean even the 7 deadly sins (that we’ve met so far) don’t say anything about imps in a derogatory way mammon doesn’t, Bee calls Blitzo “Imp boy” but not in a mean way, and Asmodeus call Moxxie “little imp” which seems more teasing than mean.  

Ok look if I'm to take the hell hierarchy seriously then please play by your rules. I-ok so like are the sins a force to be reckoned with or not? Because they just seem like regular demons but bigger. You're telling me the second blizto get nabbed by the DORK agents Stolas is out here cracking necks and summoning himself in blood to save him 

But nothing was done to save fizz?  

“It was hostage situation” ok and? Asmodeus is a sin he could have pulled a Stolas and posseted one of Crimsons goons and shot or incomposite striker and crimson. You have almost infante power and you can't save your boyfriend and work colleague? And if demons can't be possessed then send Stolas in exchange for the crystal. Crimson doesn’t know about Stolas, and it would surprise him stolas can turn into his big bird form in hell and did in Seeing Stars. ALSO why is everyone just standing up to and trying to pick fights with the Sins? Like guys I get it I really do but please realistically you're going to get smooshed like bug 

I'm constantly being told that Stolas and Blitzo can't be together while Beelzebub and Asmodeus can be with Vortex and Fizz. With no real in show reason as to why? You can address its hypocrisy all you want but you still never gave a reason as to why one is ok and other isn't. Stolas is Royality and can't date outside his rank? And the 7 deadly sins are of a different rank than him so it's different. How so? Why does Asmodeus need it to keep him and fizz a secret? if a god was dating a regular person, what could you possibly do about it? Also, if Asmodeus needs to keep his relationship a secret, then why doesn’t Beelzebub? If it because Beelzebub’s relationship corresponds to her sin how so? How is dating someone not of your rank gluttonous or indulgent? Unless Bee is a serial dater, and I don’t think she is how so? Also, Asmodeus dating Fizz does correspond to his sin he’s the over seer of lust and lust doesn’t stop at rank or class. If them being romantic is the problem, then they could lie and tell everyone that him and fizz are just fuck buddies or they're in an open relationship where they are ok with each other sleeping around but they don’t do it. They’re already business partners; it wouldn’t be a stretch if the literal ruler of lust would want to sleep with someone regardless of their rank and whether or not they work for them. Plus, they do openly say they are fucking each other while Ozzie's workers are near so them having sex isn't the problem.  

Ok so like ya’ll know the live action Grinch movie? And you know that one part where the grinch is the holiday chair mister and the who's are giving him a bunch of food even after he's full and his face is full of food, but they keep shoving more in his mouth? Yeah, that is what watching helluva boss is like sometimes you know?   

It's like a barrage of information or nothing 

Anyways  

this show is ride and then some lol granted this doesn’t really make or break the show for me honestly, it's just that the more the show tells me one thing it’ll go through hell (heh) to make it, so it doesn’t matter anymore, and it only brings up more questions. Like if something isn't allowed then make it so don’t just tell me oh that’s not allowed but is but it’s a problem but I'm not going to tell you why or what the problem is just trust me look at the cute couples don’t look anywhere else don’t worry about it  

I know you’re probably asking yo why are you questioning it I'm just a confused fan and I want the show I like to make since is that such a tall order? 

[countlessrealities]

@statiicstag - Continued from HERE

Much as he's loathed ( but has he, really ? ) every moment of it he's had little choice but to be Vox's prisoner. Rather he'd like to admit it or not he'd saved Alastor from certain death, and for the life of him he'd not been able to figure out why he'd wasted his time and not left him to lay to waste. If the tables had been turned Alastor is certain he'd not had extended the same generosity.

( Right ? Surely, he'd had left him to die. They are enemies. That's is what they have become, is it not ? )

He so detests that even within a few short days, he finds himself questioning that.

In any case recovery has been a slow, painful process and that is how he finds himself curled into an armchair in Vox's personal quarters, ear swiveling before his head does as his . . . unwanted roommate all but slams himself into the seat next to him.

He is intoxicated—it had been obvious from his gait alone but made even more clear with the way his words slur from his mouth.

❝ My. I've said nary a word to you yet and I'm already being greeted so pleasantly. ❞ he responds, leaning his elbow upon the arm of the chair he sits in. ❝ I hadn't even had an insult in my arsenal—though I'll refrain from commenting about the level of your intellegence. ❞

And be so—be so . . . What, now ?

❝ I am fine, ❞ he insists, though if he were fine he'd not be essentially bedridden. ❝ You, however, are beyond drunk. Whatever has you in such a tizzy ? ❞ Not that he particularly cares, but he is curious.

And that's all it is. Curiosity.

Vox makes a show of rolling his eyes at the comeback that greets him. The movement isn't as smooth as it normally would be, there's a little glitch here and there, but it's still done well enough to convey what he isn't saying.

Fucking smartass.

Truth to be told, he's not surprised. That's exactly the kind of reply one must expect from Alastor under this sort of circumstances. He feels trapped, so he has to act like he is the one in control. And, so far, Vox has mostly let him do it, because it's easier for them both. While he's all for antagonising the old bastard once in a while, he has far too much on his hands to afford doing it on a daily basis, while they live together.

Which is something he's trying not to think about too hard. It would mean feeding his delusions more than he can bear.

However, tonight he isn't in the mood to put up with Alastor's shit. Maybe it's because he's cranky, maybe it's the alcohol in his system. Or perhaps he just can't handle one more person being condescending towards him, like he's nothing but a fool.

Whatever the reason, he has enough.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Alastor!" He exclaims, clumsily throwing his hands in the air. "You have nothing but insults on your mind when it comes to me. I know it, so no need to deny. I won't kick your sorry ass out anyway."

He shows the Radio Demon his middle finger and then seems to deflate, some of his pent-up irritation fading. When he speaks up again, his tone is more subdued.

"Liar. I help you with your bandages, remember? So I know you're not fine. You're better, but not fine. Not yet."

But he will be one day, and whatever this is, whatever odd balance they have built...It will be like it never happened. And fuck if that doesn't make his chest tighten in the most unpleasant of ways.

"Nothing you'd find interesting. Just...work stuff." He pauses, hesitating for a moment. "...And I got in a fight with Val. He got all whiny because I'm barely around these days," since he's been spending almost all his free time with Alastor, "and I fucking hate it when he acts like that."

[box-architecture]

hEY btw I think that Cult of the Lamb except instead of any of the actual stuff please focus on God!Dream being married and fucked by loyal devoted worshipper Punz who kills in his name and tells Dream how beautiful he is as he makes him cry on his cock

I think that God Dream should be absolutely obliterated carnally

I think that he saves Punz from death and in turn Punz spend eternity loving him

I think Punz, right before he's executed, seeing the axe swing down, is brought before Dream, who takes an interest in him and decides to spare him On A Whim, and in turn Punz must dedicate himself to Dream. Dream expects "dedication" in maybe the form of occasional prayers and thanks, maybe a small altar, and believes Punz will ultimately just be grateful to be alive but not be happy to be tied to Dream.

He Is Very Wrong

Punz is the only person to touch Dream in hundreds of years

After Punz shows off how much of a crush he has on Dream (he is covered in blood and murdering people in his gods name and gifting Dream pink roses and so, so reverent) Dream offers to show his appreciation for Punz's worship in turn.

And Dream very much treats it like he's being High and Mighty to this small mortal who doesn't understand a lot of things, he's giving him such a Gift, allowing him to touch his God

Listen Dream is expecting to hard dom in this scenario, and for a bit he is!!! Because Punz is so, so utterly enthralled, willing to let Dream take whatever he wants, absolutely down for that. He just also really likes those little flashes of vulnerability, likes being able to serve Dream and make him come, likes Dream writhing with pleasure and know that he's brought it

Punz is a monsterfucker and this is not something Dream accounted for in any situation when he really should have. Honestly. Dream tries to keep his appearance Semi-Human when they fuck but he has trouble controlling it when Punz fucks him so well he can't focus

the claws the eyes the horns and teeth the demon wings

Punz is having a good time. Dream is also having a good time, but like, unexpectedly

I'm trying to bring my thoughts together to write coherent smut. I don't know if I'll succeed but so far I got

"Dream milks Punz's cock for a bit, smiling like a lazy cat and asking if it feels good, if his follower is satisfied, has his god attended to him? And Punz tells him how it feels, tells him how good Dream feels,

But he brushes his hands over Dream's human form and asks if he's felt the same, do you feel good, my lord?"

listen to me

please consider that Dream fucks Punz on his cock, doesn't let him come, but gets him right on the edge, then slicks Punz up and straddles him and sinks into him, letting Punz fill him, talks about how gracious he's being as he shimmies and tightens around them until Punz is bucking and coming inside him. Lazy and relaxed and magnanimous, polite, mmms and ahhs as he grinds his hips down, prolonging Punz's orgasms and getting some pleasure for himself

and Punz gets to come a few more times, Dream will allow himself to be filled. It feels nice, its so rare for Dream to indulge and allow for such closeness. Really, he should be thanking his dear worshipper for giving Dream the opportunity to engage in this act. Its so rare that Dream touches someone without violent intent (so rare that someone tries to touch Dream, although he would never frame it that way.)

But he's thanking his worshipper now by allowing him to come again, sweat dripping down his brow and loud moans that sound so pretty falling from his mortal's lips

and Dream this entire time has been feeling low level pleasure, but he's Not Mortal and doesn't Need It so like, while he finds sex enjoyable and fun, he's not particularly prioritizing his own pleasure here. Its that aroaceness thing where "oh sex, nice" but also if its not brought up you forget that it exists and masturbation is a thing people do. thats the best way I can explain it here. Dream is experiencing a rare stimuli that feels nice but not essential. he's not like, being a martyr or anything by focusing on Punz.

But also Punz would very much like to bring pleasure to their God, and Dream not getting off is Not Good Worship You See

obviously Punz needs to ask if Dream feels good, if he's been attended to. And Dream laughs and teases his worshipper for not properly enjoying their gift, and Punz is reverent when they cup Dream's cheek and say its a gift to serve you, my lord

and I think that Dream startles and shifts as Punz grinds his hips up, stops gripping the sheets (because Dream fucked them so hard its all they could do to hold on and ground themselves to sanity) and place their hands on Dream's thighs so they can angle themselves better inside him, and yes, Dream could feel that lovely sweet spot inside him on occasion, it was fascinating how good it felt, but suddenly Punz is hitting it every single time, and Dream can't stop the moan he lets out

Dream feels his form shift, his claws tear into the sheets, but Punz only praises him, breathless, you're gorgeous, beautiful my lord, does it feel good? Am I pleasing you, my lord?

When Dream's voice cracks, it gains something otherworldly, losing his composure, ah ah ahs as he falls forward a little, flushing because Punz is so completely awestruck watching him. Dream whimpering when he feels Punz twitch inside him, brushing against his prostate, biting his lip and unable to scold himself for making such a noise because Punz seems intent on fucking him until he can't think about propriety. Dream moaning louder and louder, hearing my lord but for a moment it sounds like my love

Punz stopping suddenly and Dream feels his sanity untangle a thread, panting heavily while Punz suddenly grabs his hand (still clawed and blackened and inhuman) and presses a kiss to the palm, sits up and kisses his arm, his shoulder, his collar.

you're taking liberties beyond your station. Dream tries to keep his voice even, but its shaky.

I'll never take anything you don't want me to, my lord. Punz murmurs. May I kiss you?

And Dream allows it. Dream lets them, on the condition that its Only Once, Only The One, Don't Be Greedy, and Punz is tender, treating it like the gift it is, and Dream moans into their mouth as they rock into him, starting up again

Punz has already come inside Dream before this, when Dream pushed him over the edge. So he's already been filled, it's dripping down his thighs

And maybe he lifted himself off of Punz's cock before, to show off how Punz had left him a mess. Let some of it leak out of him before dropping himself back down

Or maybe he just kept going, and Punz is now fucking his come back into Dream

[springbloomer]

hi lovely!!! i was wondering if you could make a pt 2 to the MC becoming a toddler headcanons, with the dateables this time! it was so good i keep coming back to it!

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little MC PT. 2

Characters: Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, Simeon (+Luke) [mentions of Beelzebub and Satan]

Disclaimer ⚠️ Characters mentioned are from the otome game Obey Me! and none of this is cannon from the actual game. Enjoy!!

Part 1 (Brothers Edition) here

Thinking of taking some things a step further, you wanted to explore the place on your own, without possibly bumping into anyone. As a toddler, you thought you could be an independent person and do things all by yourself. You had a plan all figured out in your little brain: just duck through a door if you saw someone coming your way. It didn't matter to you whatever laid inside the room you have used as an escape route, as long as you weren't seen by anyone. I can do this all by myself!, you thought to yourself. Did everything turn out according to plan? Well, not exactly.

Diavolo

You've just dodged into the Young Prince's room, and saw Diavolo just sit at his desk to work on some student council business

Even if this was someone else than the person you were trying to hide from earlier, he was still a someone who was most likely going to help you around your way once you come out of hiding from his room

With that reason, you did your best to try and avoid attracting attention to yourself, at least until you know that the hallways were clear from other people passing by

Tough luck, though! Just as you closed the door of the room, it creaked loudly enough for Diavolo to hear and turn his head to your direction

"I'm invisible, and he can't see me..." You said quietly, covering your head and shutting your eyes tight as the demon prince stared at you with wide eyes

Even if he was shocked to see such a small human in Devildom, he wasn’t going to quickly jump into conclusions. Instead, he picked you up and placed you down on his lap, asking who you were

“I’m MC” Diavolo was surely surprised by the fact that you were a toddler. He had to think hard about what might’ve caused you to become one, up to the point where it must’ve been one of Satan’s forbidden books you accidentally tampered with

He scolded you a bit for touching others’ stuff without permission, even if it was purely an accident

After his short lecture, you told him that you would continue your self tour around the place, getting off of his lap and asked him to not follow or help you

Diavolo has read a few books on human toddlers, and most of them advised to not let them out of their sight to avoid accidents and injuries, so he said that he’ll have to come with you just in case you’ll get lost or find your way in a cursed room

At first, you protested, but quickly changed your mind when he offered to let you sit on his shoulders while the two of you walked around

Wheeeeeeeee!!!! Since you were small, you felt like you were riding on top of a giant, and you loved every second of that thrill

Barbatos

You didn’t know it, but you were close to the kitchen when you heard heavy footsteps approach your way

Just in the last second, you were able to hide from Beel, who has just finished raiding the fridge

Straight away, you entered the room without even thinking or checking if anyone else was there, and that’s where you saw Barbatos cleaning up the mess Beel left behind

Unfortunately, you weren’t as sneaky as you thought when you tried to sneak past the servant and step on a wrapper, making him look for the source of the sound which directed to you

Instantly, Barbatos starts asking you questions ("Who are you? How did you get to Devildom? I must inform the Young Prince immediately!") only to stop when you told him your name

He wasn't sure, but a logical explanation to your state was touching one of Satan's forbidden books (and he's right on that one)

After confronting the source of your toddlerism, he had to fix the problem at once, or else Diavolo's plans may be disrupted because of one of his exchange students becoming a toddler

But even if you were a temporary toddler, you were still MC, so it was also still his duty to make sure that your needs were being attended to

The first thing you asked of him was for something to eat, as you got hungry and saw the empty, raided fridge Beel conquered a little while ago

You ended up having tea with Barbatos and enjoying the little treats he made for you. After all, he was familiar with the forbidden book's effects (the one you accidentally touched) and knew that it would wear off by the end of the day

He just wanted to spend more time with you, at the same time make sure that you were comfortable and content during your one year visit in Devildom

Solomon

He'd know what to do and he's gonna do it right

He'll know what the side effects of the forbidden book are, and he'll know exactly when it'll wear off

He'll take advantage of the situation though, seeing you as an innocent little toddler who liked to play with whatever you found on the floor

Oh, he also found it amusing that we've turned ourselves into a little kid, let alone have the mindset of one

Disregarding his amusement, with the amount of knowledge he had, he took full responsibility in looking after you, only until the effects wear off

The both of you would play a lot of games that originated from the human world (like hide and seek, tag, etc.) but at the same time being cautious for you to not get caught by anyone else

At one point, you got a little worn out and wanted something to eat, and Solomon eagerly wanted to cook for you ( uh oh, o7 yall. Just in case you don't understand, no offense that his cooking is SO BAD that even BEEL WOULDN'T EAT IT)

One spoonful of some of his mystery soup, you straight away spit the whole thing out and tell him how disgusting it tasted (yes, it'd be that bad)

You ran out of there, spitting every bit of his mystery soup out of your mouth in all directions

Simeon

Eventually, while you were desperately trying to make the weird taste of Solomon's cooking disappear from your taste buds, you bumped into Simeon

“Now, who is this little one?” he asked no one in particular, picking us up to get a good look of our temporary form

After a little looksie, he just knew that it was you. The question from him was; "How the heck did this happen?!"

Before another word could escape Simeon's lips, you panicked all of a sudden, realizing that you were in the middle of a wide hallway with limited hiding places, and told him that you needed to hide fast

He had no choice but to do as you say (and because of all your squirming in his arms), which is how you ended up in his room

You sighed in relief, then notice a plate of pancakes placed on a nearby table and asked Simeon if you could eat those (plus explaining to him about Solomon's mystery soup and how bad it tasted)

The plate was there for a completely different reason and not to be devoured by a toddler, but he allowed it anyway since it was you (and because he's heard a lot from the seven demon brothers how awful Solomon's cooking is)

Seeing you enjoy and stuff your face with the most amazing pancakes you've ever tasted, Simeon couldn't help but chuckle and give you a lot of headpats

The toddler you reminded him a lot of Luke and thought of how the two of you would get along if you met each other right at that moment

This sly angel did EXACTLY THAT. He called Luke to the room through his D.D.D

It took a while for this guy to figure out how to-

Someone help this poor man figure out how to call someone through the phone- xD

+Luke my babyy~

Was hurt and confused when he saw you eating the plate of pancakes that Simeon prepared for him

That anger kind of faded quickly when Simeon told you who you were

"Th-them?! They're MC?!" Luke couldn't grasp on the thought that you were now a temporary toddler

Whatever just suddenly came up, it was urgent because Simeon had to go... somewhere for some reason

With the door shut and the two of you alone, Luke had no choice but to look after you now

That is... if he could find you. You've completely disappeared before the pancakes!

He got all panicky and desperately searched the entire room. When he finally found you hiding under the bed, he had to scold you a little because you made him worry A LOT

Seeing his angry face, you felt a massive amount of guilt and apologized to him (I'd feel soooo guilty if I ever did that to mah bb)

*fast forward the little sentimental moment*

Luke asked you if you wanted to do some puzzles with him, motioning to the table where an unfinished piece was displayed.

Turns out, it ended up as a cleaning session for him instead (cuz you thought that puzzles were boring and started messing with the pieces)

The poor angel had to spend the rest of his time keeping an eye on you in case you'll make a mess again or get in an accident

(My precious boi) Luke was rocking you to sleep when suddenly the effects of the forbidden book wore off right there and then (with you... still in his arms-)

Fortunately, you didn't crush him with your weight T_T (that was waaay too close)

Hai haii @gojohater101 !! I hope you enjoyed reading part two!! (though i feel like it's not as good as the brothers edition) Hope you didn't mind that I added Luke to the list! (the thought of him trying to take care of us as a toddler was too good to not add it xD) - daisy

[touyubesposts]

Ghosts aren’t Real (Part 1/?)

Hey, this is my first Storytime Big Bang (@tss-storytime) submission! It was very fun, even thought here were a couple of road blocks (Mostly my fault. 😅) I was partnered with @pizza-box-raccoon, who has some amazing art! (Some of the best IMO.) Their art is here, go check it out! There's nothing too serious in this chapter (or in the next one (I think)) but look at the tags and keep them in mind just in case ❤️

Summary: After a ‘Ghost’ knocks over something in his kitchen while he was coming up with video ideas with friends, Quill and Davi come up with the idea to go ghost hunting in his house. Virgil is scared that they’ll somehow get detected, but Logan is less convinced. Because Ghosts aren’t real… Right?

Rating: PG?

Word Count: 2135 (A short read :))

Ships: None, everything is purely platonic

CW: Mentions of death, Negative thinking, Remus being Remus, if I miss anything let me know 👍

(Fanfic under cut)

(Thomas's P.O.V)

"- So yeah, that could be a fun video idea," Davi finishes up his statement, taking a bite of Chinese food.

Quil chimes in, "Yeah, I could see that, but we don't have a pool."

"There are public pools."

We were talking on the couch about video ideas and things the others wanted to do, trying to come up with ideas while also talking a bit about how we were doing. Patton was watching over us in the kitchen fondly, smiling at every idea and laughing at every joke, even if they weren't particularly good. Patton adjusts himself, accidentally knocking a spoon onto the floor, causing Quil and Davi to look in his direction.

"Thomas, your ghosts are hungry," Davi jokes.

My sides come around and check on me often. It's not surprising at this point and there is nothing I can really do about it anyway. However, they can be clumsy at times as well, accidentally knocking things over and bumping into furniture or walls. No problem, they usually pick whatever they knocked over up and go on their way. The problem is when people are over and they do it. At first, it freaked out my friends and made me self-conscious about it. But over time it became a light-hearted joke, so now whenever something gets knocked over or there's an 'unexplainable thump,' they say it's 'my ghosts' messing around.

"Well, they'll have to stay hungry," I smile, "I have no idea how to feed them."

"That rude, Thomas," Quil joins in, "You should always feed your guests."

I glance at Patton for a split second, "More like unruly roommates. They're lucky, they don't even pay rent."

"Technically we do, but-" Patton goes on to say before being cut off by Quil.

"Damn, must be a hard afterlife. Knock over a random guy's stuff and he doesn't even make you food."

"Would you?”

"... Depends."

Davi asks, "Hey, Thomas? Random question, but were you scared when you first moved into this house?"

I glance at Patton for help, but he just shrugs wildly at me. "Umm... No, not really. I mean, I guess it was scary at first, but after a while, you just tune out the noise."

"Yeah, that makes sense. Do you think it's actually a ghost or a demon or what?"

Oh boy, if only you knew. "Well... No, I don't think it's a ghost or a demon. I'm sure there's a solid, logical reason that all of this is happening but we just aren't seeing it. But the way I think of it is... If it was going to hurt me or wanted to hurt me, it would've done so by now, you know?"

Davi nods, "Yeah, I get it." I play off a breath of relief as just a sigh. I was making stuff up. I know for a fact it isn't a ghost, it's me. And it's not an it! It's a he! Sometimes a 'they,' but in, like, a plural way.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Quil smiles excitedly. "Let's do a ghost-hunting video!"

I feel my heart drop to my stomach as I realize what that implies. "... A ghost-hunting video?"

"Yeah! I have some equipment I could bring over, try some stuff I saw on TikTok a while ago, it could be fun! I mean, we most likely won't catch anything, but it could still make a cool video if we crack jokes and just have fun with it, you know?"

I nod along, feeling like roots and vines wrapped around my chest and squeezed tightly. "Yeah, totally!"

"Oh my god, I love watching those ghost-hunting videos!" Davi excitedly grabs Quil's arm, "Have you seen the ones that Ryan and Shane do?"

"Are you talking about their newer ones or their older ones?"

Davi and Quil continue talking about Ghostfiles and Buzzfeed unsolved while I give Patton a concerned glance. He holds onto his cardigan nervously, refusing to make eye contact with me. Finally, he sinks down guiltily. I feel bad for Patton. He didn't mean to, it was an accident. But now I may have to face a reality I don't want to face, that being 'confronting the idea that my sides are more than my sides.'

"So when do you wanna do it?" Quil turns to me and asks, catching me off guard.

Oh god, how do I answer this? Is there a good answer to this? "Umm, I don't know-"

"The soonest I'm free is a week from now," Davi chimes in, "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, I should be free then," Quil turns towards me, "Thomas?"

"... Yeah, that works great!" I force a smile, trying my hardest to not let them suspect anything.

"Sweet! Hey, I gotta go, but I'll text you guys about it. It will be fun!"

"Great!" Davi grabs his bag, "I'd stay longer, but Quil's my ride. I'll see you soon, alright?"

"Yeah, of course!" I walk Quil and Davi out the door, waving them off. I take deep breaths as I close the door as sit back down on my couch in defeat. After a couple of minutes of agonizing silence, Virgil pops up by the stairs. Great.

I sigh, forcing a smile, "Hey, Virgil."

"Cut it," Virgil ordered, not buying my happy exterior. I immediately drop my smile after I hear him speak. "You were hanging out with Quil and Davi and now you're anxious... Why?"

Without another word, I summon Patton. As soon as he appeared, he began rambling. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! My hand just brushed against it and it fell and I didn't know it was there! I shouldn't have even been here, I should've ducked out when I could, I-"

"Patton!" Virgil shouts over him. Patton stops, waiting for Virgil to speak. "... Tell me what happened."

Patton takes a shakey inhale before speaking, "So, I... I knocked a spoon on the floor... in front of Quil and Davi-"

"Is that it?"

"No, that's... That's not the bad part. The bad part is... Now Davi and Quil want to ghost hunt here because of me."

"What?!" Virgil shouts, along with Roman and Logan who just arrived. While Roman and Virgil sounded genuinely concerned and panicked, Logan just sounded confused.

"I'm sorry!" Patton covered his face, part in embarrassment.

"Hold on," Logan interrupted, "Why are we panicking? Why is Quil and Davi 'ghost hunting' a bad thing?"

"Because what if they detect us?" Virgil speaks up.

Logan sighs, "They won't. We aren't ghosts, we are a part of Thomas. Also, ghosts aren't real."

Roman buts in, "Yes, I get that, but... Don't you at least find it a little strange that we can touch and throw things even though we are nothing more than Thomas's thoughts and feelings?"

Virgil leans in closer, "Interact with our surroundings... Like ghosts?"

Logan holds the bridge of his nose, "Gosh, both of you are being ridiculous. Yes, it is a little... Odd that we can touch things that exist. But for us to be ghosts, we'd have to be real or human, in some sense. And as far as I'm concerned, we don't even exist outside of Thomas."

At this time, Remus and Janus have both appeared in the kitchen, listening in on our conversations. Virgil pipes up once more, "You say that, but obviously, we have to exist somewhat. We can literally interact with our environment! Meaning we are as real as the things we knock over. Also meaning, we could be ghosts."

"... Virgil, we would have to have died to be ghosts, meaning we existed before Thomas. And that just doesn't seem likely, considering we are Thomas."

"But how do we know that?!"

"Because we are Thomas! Literally! If it looks like Thomas and sounds like Thomas, it's probably Thomas."

"No, I mean how do we know that we didn't exist before Thomas?!"

"We didn't exist before Thomas, there's... There's no way we could've... Ghosts are dead, Virgil. For us to have died, we would have to have lived. And the only one here that has ever lived is Thomas."

"Maybe we did live and we don't remember it! Isn't that the cliche? That the ghost has to remember how they died to pass on? If that's the case, then it makes sense why we don't remember dying or living."

"God, Virgil, you are infuriating right now." Logan turns towards everyone else in a slow turn, looking for support, "I'm not the crazy one here, right? I'm being reasonable? Patton, Janus, anyone?!"

Janus tilts their head slightly, lost in thought, before speaking. "You know... I would try and lie about this, but I... I actually don't know the answer."

"What?" Logan says exasperatedly.

"I mean... I could give an answer, but I wouldn't be lying... I'd just be wrong, maybe."

Logan whips around towards Virgil again, "Okay, then how do you explain all of us looking like Thomas if we are separated beings from Thomas?"

"I don't know, maybe that's the only way Thomas can see us."

"So... What, you think Thomas is a medium? And what about what we represent? We know what we represent, that has to have some meaning for you, right?"

"Guys, let's calm down and take a breath, alright?" Patton tries to de-escalate, moving his hands as he speaks. "I mean, will know the answer when it happens, right?"

"Yes, but-" Logan interrupts himself. He takes a deep breath, before facing Virgil once more, "... But I want to try and ease everyone's mind before then."

Virgil sighs, "I know, I just... I'm scared to be... 'Found out', you know? I mean, as much as we pretend that all of this is normal, we all know it isn't. We know Joan or Kenny or Davi and Quil don't have their own 'sides' that they talk to daily. And I don't know how much longer we can lie to them about this."

"Virgil-"

"And what if they react badly? What if they think all of this is weird or strange, too weird for them to stick around? Or what if they think Thomas is haunted by ghosts and they freak out and run off? And what if they tell Thomas's other friends and they do the same? What then?"

The entire room has gone silent. This wasn't a new train of thought for me, being scared that my friends were going to leave, but hearing it out loud in this context made my stomach flip. Finding out about the sides really would freak them out too much, wouldn't it?

Logan places his hands on Virgil's shoulders softly, with a neutral but sympathetic look. "Everything will be fine. I promise... They may think it's weird, but it should take more than this to drive them away. "

"... And if it does drive them away?"

"Then they weren't real friends anyway. Plus," Logan removes his hands and dusts himself off, "I don't see why they should be scared. We're the ones who live with it."

"Yeah!" Roman cheers, "If they don't like it, they can suck it! We deal with us every day, and that just makes us stronger than them."

"And it's not like they have anything to fear," Patton adds on, sitting on the arm of the couch, "We aren't violent or evil or anything."

"Speak for yourself," Remus cracks his neck, the pops sending shivers down my spine.

Patton winces, "Well... Well, we've never hurt anyone."

"On purpose."

"Or severely."

"Or physically," Logan explains, "We can't touch them. We can touch things, Like spoons or counters, but not people. So even if Remus wanted to put his hands on them, he couldn't."

"If I could physically hurt people, I would've done so already. That's why you gotta... put them to sleep for me, Sanders-man."

I shoot Remus a look, "Okay, that first sentence did freak me out a bit, but... Sanders-man?"

"Like sandman. Not my best work, I admit. I'll workshop it."

Janus clears his throat to get everyone's attention, "So we're lying about this, right? If they suspect anything just deny?"

Virgil takes a harsh breath in, taking a seat on the stairs, "... As much as I hate you and that idea... It's the only one that can keep Thomas safe."

"Aw, Virgil doesn't want to admit I'm useful~"

Logan takes control of the conversation once more. "Reminder: this is all dependant on if their ghost equipment even detects us. And there's a very good chance it doesn't.

Maybe... Maybe attempting to rationalize with fear was the wrong move. Because, and don't take this the wrong way Virgil, but fear can be... A bit irrational. Why don't we try and find different ways to cope until then? Any ideas?"

To be continued…

[sleepy-achilles]

Not how I planned.

I had a version of this marriage purposal were it was all cute and cuddly. But, I think realistically this is how it'd happen. The alt is mentioned in this.

And that's when it hits him. It's a horrible time.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Taker smiles as the sun hits the land. A nice cold, special beer, in his hand.

"I just don't get it." Leon whispers staring at his special beer. "Its a beer. You drink it." Taker grunts. Leon looks at him. "You know that's not what I'm on about." Leon frowns. "I do love watching two demons discuss human emotions" Randy snickers from where him and John are perched on the loveseat.

Taker shakes his head as he rocks on the rocking chair. Rhea glances up from the steps. "What even caused it?" She asks. "I don't know. We were walking around town, I went to help someone and I came back and he was upset." Leon sighs slouching down as Cassie walks out. "You know. They are just sat in there in silence. Neither are saying anything" cassie confesses as she sits next to Rhea on the steps. "Its Pas magic touch. Gets through without speaking. You'll have that talk one day" John tells her.

Leon tilts his head back and groans. "I just wish I understood why. Someone must of said something." Leon sighs. "Which for you, with your history here, is not a good thing." Randy states. Leon glares at him. "Cmon, we've all seen the 18th birthday footage." Rhea giggles. "Tell me about it" Taker grumbles.

Leon jolts up as the door swings open, drew rushes past them all, putting his coat on as he walks down the path. "Drew? Drew!" Leon yells as he pushes out of his seat, dropping his beer that Taker thankfully catches as his son rushes after his lover. Taker glances as shawn sits in Leon's seat.

"Drew!" Leon yells catching up the man. He grabs his arm causing Drew to turn and slap his hand away. Leon's eyes widen at the tears building in those beautiful blues. (The irony of Leon being colourblind is missed here)

"You girls might want to come under." Shawn mutters watching the sunny blue sky turn cloudy. Rhea and cassie do so as it starts raining and starts raining hard. "The valley has accepted him." Taker mutters in awe, sitting forward to watch the pair.

"Dont. Do not touch me" Drew hisses pulling his hood up. He feels bad as Leon's tshirt starts to stick. "Please...please talk to me." Leon tries, unsure what to do with his hands as they hover. "No. I'm going back to the motel and then I'm getting the first ride home." Drew snaps. "Why? What happened, drew please!" Leon tries. "Im sick of trying so damn hard to just be told I'm not good enough. To be ignored. Put down. Felt unloved."

And boy that shatters Leon's heart. His eyes widen as drew goes to turn to leave. "I mean i feel like you brought me here just so i can how badly im not good for you." Drew whispers. "So I'm going. And whatever that means for us, so be it." Drew whispers. "Marry me."

Drew pauses. "What?" "Marry me drew."

Drew turns to look at the other. "I-I had this big plan, I was going to take you to my favourite diner and-and I was going to show you how beautiful the valley is at night. Before asking you." Leon rambles as his hand fiddles in his soaked jeans. Drews eyes follow to clearly see the outline of the box.

"What.." Drew whispers. He watches as Leon fumbles with the box before lowering to his knee. "Drew Mcintyre. I um..I'm not good at this stuff. You know that. But I.. I really really fucking love you and I would really appreciate it if you would be my husband. For like ever." Drew watches in awe as Leon's face turns red for blush. "Fuck." Drew gasps. "Will you?" Leon asks.

"Yes. Of course I will." Drew smiles as Leon slips the ring on. Leon stands and drew goes to pull him in. Leon steps back. "Im wet." Leon points out. Drew smirks. "Well, maybe wait till we are away from your family." Leon rolls his eyes and pulls Drew into a hug causing the bigger man to groan at the feeling of the wet tshirt.

Shawn smiles as they share a kiss, the rain clears. "Looks like we've got a wedding to plan my dear" Shawn pats takers thigh. "No. They have." Everyone looks at him. "Okay yes, I realise now...trusting Leon and drew to plan a wedding is a stupid idea. I'll phone goldust." Taker sighs. "Good boy." Shawn chuckles watches as drew pulls back, holding Leon's face with a big smile. Shawn smiles softly, squeezing takers thigh as Leon wears a smile on his face.

[misc-obeyme]

I'm with everyone else on my first thought being about you when i saw the new card 🤣 I'm debating if i should keep pulling bc i kindaaa want luci, but I'm not crazy for him y'know? I just like the art, but i have two copies of Barb so far

And yes, the last event I ended up finishing at 117 in rank. I haven't ranked this high in a while but my luck was great with the cards and it was the anniversary so i really wanted to be up there. I only go crazy and grind for the anniversary events, or if my fave is in the spotlight. This event i think I'll be chilling, I'm sure I can get all the cards by the last day

anyway how do you think everyone determined what foods are human safe for mc? Like has it just been learning from past humans trial and error?? Do they only use common ingredients?? Like mc DOES canonically eat devildom food (that one brain dish belphie likes is my first thought... Quetzacol...?) so idk??

they just have potions at the ready in case mc wants to try a new dish (i am an extremely picky eater but curiosity might beat me on trying food)

imagine if mc has dinner plans at purgatory hall or the castle and lets the brothers know in advance, and they get all excited to make a devildom dish that isn't human safe 💀

imagine craving something really bad for dinner that night, but mc can't have it. I could be bribed with takeout and ice cream if they want it that bad. Like "yes you can make this dish, but you are responsible for making sure mc eats". Reminds me of my mom making separate dishes for me and my brothers (usually non spicy ones)

Also the first day open at my new store was wild (i think we made $7000 in sales??), and trying to train everyone is hard. I think I'm possibly the favorite manager as well?? I'm the first one everyone seeks out when there's a problem 😭 But that might be because the majority of the team is the same age as me and feels more comfortable. Apparently I'm the 'chill' manager LMAO (I'm just anti social and tired). But this means I'm running around like crazy, I need a step counter at this point. My knees are dyinggg (our printer for online orders is on the second floor until we set up the portable one 💔)

anyway i hope you have a good day !! Or night !! i saw the post about barb/mammon and i was like "aw shit, another ship for me to be crazy about." BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A GOOD SHIP, I LOVE IT, OKAY BYEEE

- ✨ anon

LOL it means so much to me that so many people think of me when it comes to Barbatos cards!

No, I totally get it the art is so good! Lucifer also just looks good in those casual skateboard outfits!

OHHH nice!! Congrats on getting such a high rank! I sometimes get higher if I go hard in the beginning, but I usually don't maintain that lol!

Ah yes, quetzalcoatl brains. Belphie you little weirdo we love you. I think they are implying that this is some kinda snake, but Quetzalcoatl is an Aztec deity who sometimes takes the form of a feathered serpent. So it's kinda like, what even are quetzalcoatl brains?!? I'm going with the snake theory because nothing else makes sense.

But anyway, I assume part of is trial and error... I can't imagine they haven't tried out all kinds of things on Solomon and possibly other humans who somehow ended up in the Devildom. I mean it's not like you know how a whole different species is going to react to food until you feed it to them, right?

But they do seem to be aware of some things already, such as lunatic pudding and the golden hellfire newt syrup or whatever it's called. So if they know some stuff, then they must have had humans trying it before.

As for MC trying new stuff, I think it's probably okay. I mean they have seven demons at their disposal on a regular basis. And if the brothers can't fix whatever the problem is, I'm fairly certain Solomon or Barbatos (or both) could. I do think MC would be taking a risk with some things, but hopefully they have enough help and their own magical knowledge to help them out!

I personally would fall victim to all the suspicious dishes. I like to try everything, no matter what it is.

I kinda like the idea of the brothers being excited to have something not safe for humans when MC isn't around lol. Like that sounds adorable! They're all guys guys we can have bloody bat legs for dinner because we won't have to worry about them turning MC into a vampire!

I also like the idea of them just having different stuff. Like I would absolutely be like I don't care, have all the bloody bat legs you want, as long as I have something else that I can eat!

I've often thought about what human world dishes I'd make for them if I had to cook. I can make more elaborate things, but I tend to fall on my easy staples because... well, they're easy. You can be sure I'm making them fried eggs all the time. Maybe I'll even put them on some avocado toast! Maybe I'd make a Devildom variant with cockatrice eggs and uh... whatever the equivalent of an avocado would be. Bread seems to be the same? Hmm.

Wow congrats on the high sales!! Training can be tough for sure, especially in a group situation! I don't doubt that you are the favorite manager~ if they're seeking you out, it's definitely because they trust you to help them! Ah, but I hope your knees feel better soon...

Honestly, I'm amazed at how many people seem to be interested in the Mammon/Barbatos ship?? Here I thought I was the only one lol. I just really like to consider different characters together and the way their relationship could go... I find it fascinating...

I hope you have a lovely day/night as well!! 💕💕

[devildom-drabbles]

Story - Bedtime Procrastination

Summary: MC wants to stay up late, but Belphegor isn't making it easy. Characters/Ship: Belphegor x MC Word Count: ~1.3k Warnings: None, just silliness and fluff

THUMP.

MC flinched at the abrupt noise against their closed bedroom door.  It sounded as though something had been thrown at it.  They considered ignoring it--to go back about their business as if nothing had happened--but curiosity got the best of them, bringing them straight to the source of the sound.  Upon opening the door, the Avatar of Sloth collapsed into their arms, having been leaning against the door while sound asleep.

“B-Belphie!” MC exclaimed, just barely supporting the demon’s weight.  “Hey, wake up!”

All Belphegor did was mumble incoherently, unperturbed by the human’s strained voice as he snuggled closer to their body for warmth.  Exasperated, MC carefully lowered the two of them to the ground.  They then left the Avatar of Sloth lying there on his stomach so they could return to their desk, not having the strength to drag him back to his bedroom, let alone to their own bed.  It hadn’t even been a minute before they heard him stirring in his sleep--he had become annoyed by the discomfort and growing chill of the hard floor.  They assumed that he would leave shortly, either by sleepwalking or waking up enough to realize that he wasn’t in his own bed, so they kept their focus on their laptop screen.  However, they were startled once more when they felt a pair of hands push between them and the desk in order to gain access to their lap.

“What’re you doin’?” Belphegor asked, his words slurred together out of drowsiness in a manner similar to Mammon’s everyday speech.  He crossed his arms atop the human's thighs to act as an extra makeshift pillow for his head while he gazed up at their face.

“Stuff.  What are you doing?” MC retorted.

“Lying on your lap ‘cause you rudely left me on the floor.”

“That’s because you fell on me when I opened the door and you wouldn’t wake up.  Did you need something?  Or did you just sleepwalk here?”

“Mm, sleepwalk.”  Belphegor’s eyes drifted shut.  “...But I guess it’s good I did.”

MC stared down at him quizzically, awaiting an explanation.  When it seemed as though he was falling back to sleep instead, they poked at his cheek.  “Belphie, what do you mean?  Why is it good that you came here?”

“Hrm?” Belphegor murmured as his eyelids fluttered back open.  “Oh, yeah, because you’re still awake.  And it’s late.  So we should go to sleep together.”

“I’m not ready to sleep yet, so I think you’d be better off going back to your room.”

The demon pouted at the dismissal to his suggestion.  “Why not?  What’s this ‘stuff’ that you’re doing anyway?”  He lazily propped himself up enough to peer at the laptop screen.  “Looks like mindless online surfing if you ask me.”

“Well, yeah, sort of,” MC admitted begrudgingly, “but it’s relaxing.  There’s always so much going on during the day, so this is the only time I can just...do whatever, you know?”

Belphegor nodded with a hum of understanding before settling back down on MC's lap.  “My brothers aren’t awake to bother you either.  They drag you around a lot to do things with them, so you don’t get much free time to yourself, huh?  You should call them out on it.”

“Only your brothers?”  An amused expression played on MC’s face as they gently brushed aside the youngest demon’s long bangs and then watched them fall back into place over his pink-tinted violet eye.  “I can think of someone else who likes to occupy my time when he’s awake and asleep.”

“Really?” Belphegor inquired with feigned innocence. "Sounds like he must be your favorite demon then."

The human’s light laughter was like a soothing lullaby to the Avatar of Sloth’s ears.  “Go to sleep, Belphie,” they commanded.  “And not on my lap.  We’ll both regret it in the morning if you stay there.”

“I’ll only go if you come with me.”

“I told you--”

Now it was Belphegor’s turn to poke at MC’s face, his finger nudging at curved dip below their eye.  “Your eyes tell me that you’re ready to sleep.  Asmo is totally going to call out those dark circles again if you procrastinate on sleeping.”

“Urgh, you’re right...  But I still want to--”

Suddenly, Belphegor hoisted himself up to close MC's laptop and then plopped the upper half of his body on top of it, completely cutting off any access to it.

"Wha-- Hey, get off!" MC demanded.

They tried to push Belphegor away from the computer, but he wouldn't budge, his body slack.

"You know," he spoke up, ignoring the protests that rang in his ears, "this is actually pretty warm. It's like a cozy pillow."

"It's too hard to be a pillow and you know it!" MC argued. "Now move!"

"Zzzz..."

"Don't you dare fall asleep on it, Belphie! I'm serious! Belphie!!"

But the Avatar of Sloth continued to snore away, a trickle of drool already forming at the corner of his mouth. MC was baffled at how he could've fallen asleep so quickly and in such an uncomfortable-looking position, despite having witnessed this phenomenon many times before. After a bit more shouting and pushing, they sighed in defeat.

While staring up at the ceiling, MC deliberated over the pros and cons of staying awake before finally accepting the fact that it’d be better to go to sleep now.  However, despite the exhaustion that weighed on their body, their mind was still active.  In this case, they’d likely be tossing and turning for quite a while until they could actually settle down enough to get some rest.  

“I guess you win, Belphie," they muttered to the snoozing demon in front of them, "but I don’t feel like I’ll fall asleep very easily."

Belphegor forced his eyes open once again, an action that the human viewed like a horror movie jump scare. “Did you really forget that you’re with me right now?” he questioned as he stretched his arms forward like a cat.

"Hold on, were you actually awake this whole time?!"

He rubbed his tired eyes while asking, "What do you think? Anyway, you just need help going off to dreamland, right?" A smile tugged at his lips. "I can take care of that."

MC tilted their head in confusion, but they were met with silence as Belphegor rose to his feet to turn out the lights. He then led them by the wrist to the full-sized bed and gestured for them to get in first.  He slid in after them, wasting no time in pulling the covers over both of them and wrapping his arms around MC's torso to press his face against their sternum.

“And now we cuddle,” Belphegor stated, turning his face slightly so his voice wouldn’t be as muffled, “and then you’ll fall asleep in no time.”

“More like you’ll fall asleep in no time,” MC pointed out, already feeling his arms grow limp on them.

The demon shifted in his spot in a weak attempt to stay conscious and readjusted his hands so that one could rub the human’s back in a soothing motion.  “Does that help?”

MC suppressed a snicker at his half-awake state.  “A bit.  Thanks.”

“Mm, good.  In return, you should stroke my hair.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” MC replied, rolling their eyes playfully.  “I must repay your kindness.”

Belphegor grinned at the pleasant feeling of the MC’s fingers carding through his hair and curled his body closer to them.  He yawned against their chest, passing the contagious action on to them and thus making the two of them more drowsy. His hand slowly traced along their back a few more times before dropping to the bed, his thumb and index finger clutching onto a small bit of their shirt’s fabric. MC soon followed suit, their hand stopping in the middle of some tangles in the Avatar of Sloth’s messy hair as they were pulled into a state of slumber.  At ease in each other’s embrace, the pair remained in a deep, tranquil sleep for the rest of the night.