#it seems like this guy’s thing is just ‘big ass sword’ which like. i adore. a world of weird fucking powers and Dracula here just has big

[fowlblue]

helloooooo sailor-

[daydreaming-nerd]

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 9

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Okay remember when I said there would be a lot more angst? Well here we are. We have arrived at angst station, everybody off the train. This part is so dramatic I really laid it on thick here. Regardless I hope you enjoy and I will try to get part 10 up ASAP!!!

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Sexism, super heavy angst, this got really dark, violence, blood, implied rape (but not described), did I mention violence?, (I'm sorry you guys.)

Word Count: 6,333

The next morning I wake up in my own bed and I don’t move for hours. 

Thankfully, after about an hour of crying by the Sidra, Azriel found me and took me back to the House of Wind.  Apparently Cassian had sent him, which gave me a little bit  of hope. That is until I went to his door and found his room empty. According to Azriel he left for Windhaven after returning home to pack a bag.  I didn’t need to interrogate further to know that Cassian wouldn’t be back before the wedding. 

I spent the entire day before the wedding in bed, staring at the sliver of light on the floor that the curtains let into the darkened room. Everytime I close my eyes I could hear Cassian and I’s laughter, which made me unable to fall asleep. When I wasn’t reminiscing over memories of Cassian I was listening intently to the sounds of the house, hoping I would hear his heavy boots thudding back to his room. I just wanted to see him one last time. 

However, those footsteps never came, and I found myself staring at the wall until my body gave up on me, from either exhaustion or hunger and I fell asleep.

Cassian’s pov: 

The second I landed in Windhaven I cracked open a bottle of whiskey and downed a glass praying it would allow me to sleep. Of course I was wrong. 

The entire night I saw images of y/n holding that little girl in her arms. God I had practically melted right then and there, thinking about what she would look like holding our own children. How adorable they would be with their tiny wings. 

My sleepless night had carried over with me the next day, everything and everyone putting me on edge. A young Illyrian had dropped their sword while sparring and I blew up at him. Devlon tried to argue that the females shouldn’t be training and I nearly slammed his head into a wall.

I was aggressively sharpening my swords on the edge of the sparring ring when Azriel found me, my brother simply  nodded his head towards the center as if to say “blow off some steam big fella.” I couldn’t turn him down, as he was the only one who could give me a run for my money, and today he sure did. 

“You fight like shit and you look like shit too brother,” Azriel barked after beating me again. He tossed his sword to the ground seemingly calling it quits for the day. 

“Yeah well my mate is about to marry another male in the next 12 hours so how did you expect to find me?” I gripe at him taking my seat on a weathered rock. 

“I suppose I wouldn’t know what to do in your situation either,” he admitted, taking a seat next to me. 

“Seems about right for me. Grew up a bastard and lived in the mud till you and Rhys’ sorry asses came along. Lost my mother and never even got to bury her, fought for 500 years, and then became mated to the princess, who is marrying another male.”  I scoff, shaking my head at the ridiculousness. “I’ll give the mother one thing, at least she’s consistent.”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, as if taking in what I had said before clapping a hand on my back, “The pain, it will go away Cass. It will take time, but I will be there with you every step of the way.” he assured me, and for a moment I felt a little lighter. 

“Get wasted with me tomorrow?” I ask more seriously than I should.

“You know I will,” he said, offering me a slight smile. 

I hoped that Rhys had gotten some more whiskey since the last time I raided his cabinet, because I don’t think any amount of drink could make me forget the way she looked at me the first morning we woke up together. The way she would laugh when I kissed her cheeks, the feeling of her delicate hands running soap over my wings. How she would say “you need a bath!” when I would give her a sweaty hug after training. The face she made when I distracted her from one of her romance novels by tickling her feet that rested in my lap.  

By the cauldron, I was a dead man. 

y/n's pov:

Stepping into the Autumn Court felt like I was walking to my own execution. Instead of Eris being at the end of that aisle there would be a guillotine. I almost wished for that instead. Any comment made by Rhys about how I seemed tired I chalked up to pre-wedding nerves and thankfully he didn’t push after that. 

The entire morning had been spent poking and prodding at my skin, my hair and my eyes.  If I thought that Nuala and Cerridwen were meticulous I was sorely mistaken. The ladies of the Autumn Court didn’t mess around and if this was my life going forward (which sadly it was), cauldron boil me. 

The ladies in wait primped me up until a half an hour before I walked down the aisle. I had to literally commande them out of my suite in order to have a moment alone. I sat staring at myself in the floor length mirror. For what it was worth, I looked beautiful. I half expected the dress that was chosen for me to be  awful and gaudy, however it was elegant. The lace along the neckline mimicking the flames associated with Eris’ power. Had I been walking down the aisle to a different groom, I might venture to say that I was excited to be married. However as I stared at myself in my white wedding dress I couldn’t help but feel a tear slide down my face. 

A tentative knock reverberated through the room, nearly making me jump out of my skin. I took a deep breath and wiped away a stray tear. 

“Come in,” I said with shaky words looking at the double oak doors through the mirror before me.

The door opened slowly, whoever it was looking around the room before entering. A large figure finally popped it’s head in, eyes finding me immediately. I would know that jet black hair anywhere. 

Cassian. 

I whirled around to meet his gaze as he shut the door, taking slow and tentative steps towards me. His eyes searched my face for any hint of anger or resentment. 

“Cass,” I breathed, as if to assure myself he was really there. 

“You look beautiful,” he smiled looking me up and down, but I could see the veiled sadness on his face. He was putting on a front, and a bad one at that.

“Thank you,” I say, taking a tentative step towards him. “How did you get in here?”

“They don’t have you that well guarded,” he chuckled, stepping closer till he stood before me. Neither of us reached for one another, unsure of where we both stood. It felt wrong not to instantly wrap my arms around him. “I don’t like where we left things,” he continued.

“Neither do I,”   

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I yelled at you that night. I’m sorry about the things I said,” he starts again. His hands reach for mine but pull back as if afraid to touch me. “I wanted to say that I understand now. And that I think you are incredibly brave to be doing this for Velaris. I’ll never be happy that you’re marrying Eris, and I’ll always wish it was me. But I understand now, and I respect the love you have for your people, and the lengths you’re willing to go to to keep them safe. Will you forgive me?” 

I feel the stray tear pricking my eye once more, “There was never anything to forgive Cass. I was more upset with myself for giving you false hope. For going along and loving you and acting like things were going to be alright when I couldn’t guarantee it.” I sigh, casting my head down, unable to face him.

I feel his gentle calloused hand tip my chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes, that beautiful hazel, glassed over. Despite it all, despite what I put him through, there is still so much love in them, and I know I’ll never really deserve it.

“Loving you was the greatest gift I’ve ever known, and ever will know,” he smiles as if he’s remembering the short time we did have together. “I’ll be here waiting if you should ever change your mind or in case something ever happens.” 

“Cass,” I start to protest but he stops me.

“I’ve loved you for so many years y/n. There can be no one else but you. If I don’t get to have you until we are both old and gray so be it. I’ve waited this long,” he assures me cupping my cheek.  

I don’t even have words to reply to his confession. Boundaries be damned. I threw myself around him pulling him as close as possible. His arms tighten around me like he had been waiting for me to make a move. In the embrace there’s an understanding, an unsaid agreement.

I back away to see those hazel eyes once more, my own eyes raking over his body. I notice he’s not dressed in a fine suit jacket, or even his fighting leathers. Instead, he’s donning a loose fitted shirt, something completely unfit for a royal wedding. 

“You’re not staying are you?” I ask, pressing a hand to his stubbled cheek that tells me he didn’t shave this morning.

“No, I just had to see you one last time,”  he answers, taking my hand from his cheek so he could hold both of them. 

The weight of his words shoot right through me, and as I look at him, I let them sink in. I watched as a tear slid down his own cheek, it was the only time I had ever seen the general cry. 

“One last time,” I repeated, letting the words consume me. 

His eyes glanced down at my lips, a silent plea to taste them again,

“Can I?” he whispered. 

“Gods yes,” I sigh. 

A hand drifted up cupping my cheek and pulling me into a kiss. The last kiss we might ever share. I poured every ounce of love into it trying to give him something to remember me by, trying to savor every moment of it for when my days ahead were darkest. My chest heaved as if being pulled forward and then…

Snap.

It was as if a piece of me was returned, one I never knew I lost. I pulled back to meet his gaze and by the way he looked at me I could tell he knew, had known. I felt like I was truly seeing him for the first time as that shimmering golden bond glowed between us.

“You’re my-” I started but I jumped at the bang sounding throughout the room. 

My eyes met the fiery auburn of Eris’ as he entered the room, at least twenty autumn court soldiers behind him. I didn’t have time to step away as he winnowed to me pulling me away from Cassian. 

“You!” he seethed at my general who was already assessing the situation. “I had my suspicions but never the proof and you fell into my trap so easily.” he boasted.  

My thoughts scrambled to what Cassian had said earlier…”They don’t have you that well guarded.”

“Restrain the bastard!” Eris ordered his grip on my arm tightening at the command. 

“No!” I screamed lurching for Cassian but Eris hauled me back to him. 

The soldiers were on him in an instant all of them falling like dominos before The Lord of Bloodshed. Cassian’s eyes blazed with a fury by the likes of which I had never seen before, he wasn’t a general protecting his princess. He was a male protecting his mate. 

Eris’ body tensed behind mine as soldier after soldier fell. In an act of desperation I felt him unsheathe the dagger at his thigh, pressing the blade to my throat. 

“Oh general,” Eris sang. 

It was enough to catch Cassian’s attention for a split second, his eyes widening as he saw the position I was in. A  rogue soldier used the small window of time to pull his dagger and stab it through Cassian’s side. 

“NO!” I screamed as Cassian hissed, his knees hitting the floor. Immediately the rest of the soldiers were on him, restraining him and binding his wings. His siphons tried to come to light but sputtered out.

“Bloodbane,” Eris smiles, lowering the dagger from my throat. “Stings like a bitch doesn’t it?” 

“Eris please, don’t do this. He’s my mate, I didn’t know until now and-” 

“I would choose your next words very carefully, pet,” he cuts me off. “Right now your ‘mate’ has been stabbed with a dagger laced in bloodbane, which means that even if your dear brother did know he was here he couldn't communicate with him. As for Rhysand, he now sits in a wedding chapel completely unaware and unarmed with a bloodbane arrow aimed for his fucking throat. And last time I checked the only asset you had was a magic cunt.” 

Cassain growled from the other side of the room at Eris’ vulgar words. My eyes flitted to where he was pulling against the restraints. 

“However, I consider myself a merciful ruler,” Eris taunted, grabbing my face to meet his stare. “I’ll give you a choice. You either walk down that aisle, be a good little wife, and pop out a couple of heirs as promised, or you call off the wedding and I’ll gut your precious general where he kneels.” 

“y/n, no!” Cassian gritted through bared teeth. 

I watched my mate struggle to break free, the bloodbane in his system beginning to take over. I looked to Eris who stared at me with hungry eyes. I tried to think of some way out of this, but Eris was right. We had fallen right into this trap, and my hands were tied.

My gaze met Cassian who could read my face like a book, “I’m sorry Cassian, but I once told you that I could never live with myself if something happened to you and I had the power to stop it.” I turn to face Eris and his shit eating grin. “If you promise not to hurt him, or my brother, I will go with you.” 

“You will submit to me fully?” Eris asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I nod, my mind flashing back to when Rhys was in the same position. 

Eris steps closer to me, tilting my head up in an act of dominance, his mouth too close to mine for comfort. I could hear Cassian’s grunts as he continued to try and break free. 

“And you’ll warm my cock whenever I please?” he muses, clearly loving the control he has over me. 

“Yes,” I grit. 

He smiled triumphantly, releasing my chin as he turned to his guards, “Take him away and lock him in the dungeons.” 

“You said-”

“When you walk down that aisle and say ‘I do’ then I shall send him back to the Night Court, Jewel of Prythian. I won’t be taking any chances.” Eris growls in my face before turning to Cassian who had now been brought to his feet. “If I ever see you in my court, or anywhere near my wife again Prince of Bastards, I will make sure that she pays the price.” 

“You fucking bastard!” Cassian roars, body nearly limp from the bloodbane as he’s hauled off by the guards. 

“Wait, let me say goodbye!” I cry running to him, but I’m yanked back by my arm so roughly it nearly pops out of its socket.

“Your obedience begins now!” Eris grits but I pay him no mind thrashing about in his grasp trying to touch my mate once last time as he disappears behind the oak doors. 

“Cassian!” I scream for him, tears waterfalling over my eyes.

“y/n!” he shouts back. 

But it’s too late. The doors close with a definite slam and I’m left weeping in Eris’ grasp as I hear the sounds of Cassian struggling down the hall. 

Cassian’s pov: 

Eris was right, the bloodbane hurt like a bitch. Even an hour later as I sat on the cold, wet floor of the Autumn Court cell, the toxin still made me feel lethargic. As if I had taken the world's strongest sleeping tonic. 

The worst part of it all was that I could hear everything. The organ playing signaling that y/n was walking down the aisle and the cheers of the people as they finally said their vows. The worst and loudest of them all were the bells. 

They rang with such clarity, and joy. The happy little melody could be heard from everyone in the Autumn Court, announcing that the Eris and y/n were finally wed.  The ringing made me double over with grief, their sound a reminder that I was the only male in Prythian who could not protect his mate. A shame greater than being a bastard, and one I would carry with me until the end of my days. 

Metal on metal screeched from somewhere in the dungeon as a light poured in. The jingling of keys and stomping of boots stopped at the door to my cell and I didn’t even bother to look up. Nothing mattered anymore anyways. 

“Come on ‘Prince of Bastards’, time for you to go back to your own court,” the guard grumbled, like hauling me home was a huge inconvenience to him. 

I rose to my feet and stepped languidly out of the door. The restraints on my wrists and wings  were removed, the skin on my wrists rubbed raw from the blue stone shackles. I was led up the stairs to where the wards ended and was immediately winnowed to the border of the Autumn and Winter Court. The cold blizzards of winter whipping around us and chilling my wings. 

“Prince Eris has asked me to remind you that you are now banished from this court. He also says that should you choose to seek out his wife once more you know what the consequences will be.” the guard relayed. 

Before I could even think about punching the asshole square in his jaw he disappeared into thin air, no doubt going back to his post in the basement of the palace.

I was left with nothing but the sound of my own thoughts, and the feelings of my own guilt as I flew home towards the House of Wind where I knew Azriel was waiting. The flight was the longest one I had ever been on, as normally I took this route with y/n in my arms.

 I had never been so happy to touch down on solid ground once more. Azriel tentatively walked out onto the balcony, two glasses of whiskey in hand. His shadows told him that something was very wrong. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked, an alarm ringing in his voice. 

The lump in my throat returns as I remember how it all went down.  “The bond snapped for her, and she changed her mind. Eris found us, said he had set the whole thing up. I was stabbed with a bloodbane dagger,” I say, lifting my arm to assess the blood leaking from my side. “He told her that if she didn’t marry him he would gut me and Rhys.” 

The next words teeter on my lips as I feel my eyes brimming with tears. It felt like pieces of me were being ripped out as I finally confessed to my failure. 

“I couldn’t save her,” I choked out, voice cracking halfway through. 

The words being uttered into the world was enough to have my  knees crashing to the ground. The impact radiating through my body to the open wound on my side that still hadn’t healed.  I was sure that Azriel had said something as I heard the glasses of whiskey clatter to the ground. But the roaring in my ears was so loud, so unbearable, that the only thing that assured me he was still there was the arm he slung around my back as he knelt next to me.  

y/n’s pov:

The wedding was uneventful and to be honest the only part of it I remembered was when the priestess said, “If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” 

The silence that had fallen upon the crowd was so deafening I nearly shuddered. I was stupid to hope that he would come charging in like some fairytale I had read as a child.  The smug look on Eris' face as the priestess continued with the nuptials made my blood go cold. 

The reception was even worse. I had spent the entire time sipping wine with a bland expression on my face. It seemed as though Eris’ new favorite word was ‘wife’ considering he found a way to use it in every sentence.  While most would think it a term of endearment I knew it was just to show his ownership.

“Prince Eris, congratulations on stealing ‘The Jewel’ from us all,” a voice said, cutting across the sea of chatter. I looked up from my lap to find the High Lord of Spring, standing before our table. 

“Thank you Tamlin, she is quite the prize,” Eris crooned, placing a kiss to the back of my hand. 

“That she is,” Tamlin nodded, his eyes raking me from head to toe. “Almost makes me regret crossing her brother, I would’ve liked to have been in the race for her hand.” 

“All in the past now,” Eris smiles, kissing the palm of my hand.  “Right wife?” 

“Right,” I nod to him before turning to Tamlin. “High Lord, where is the Cursebreaker tonight? I would’ve liked to make my acquaintance.” I ask secretly hoping that my brother might catch a glimpse of his mate tonight. 

“Feyre is,” he averts his gaze from mine as if trying to decide what to say. “She is safe at home. Busily planning for the wedding.” 

“The wedding?” I inquired further, wondering if Rhys knew.

“Yes we are to be wed soon,” Tamlin beamed with pride. “I’m sure we will see you both present?” 

“Of course Tamlin, of course,” Eris assured the High Lord of Spring. 

Surely if Feyre was getting married to Tamlin my brother knew. I hoped I would get the chance to tell him. The last thing our court, well I suppose his court now, needed was another separation of mates. 

The rest of the night passed on quite slowly. At one point I was able to feel the bond between Cassian and I. It was faint, but it was there, and I almost swore that I felt him tug on it at one point. It wasn’t until people started making their excuses to go home that Eris finally said the words I had been dreading. 

“Shall we go to bed, wife?” he mused his lips brushing the shell of my ear. 

“After I say goodbye to my brother,” I nod standing up to find Rhys, wherever he was. 

“You’ll see your brother soon enough, my pet. For now let us retire to our chambers,” he growled, grasping my arm and winnowing away to what I assumed was his room.

He watched intently from behind me as I took in my surroundings. 

The bed was large, draped in furs and crisp white sheets. Wood paneling surrounded the four walls, giving the place an ornate look. The fireplace was a glow, casting a warm light upon the room. If it had been anyone else’s room it would’ve been cozy, maybe even romantic. 

The air filled with tension as I waited for Eris to do something, or say something, as I refused to turn and meet his gaze. The only sound heard was the crackling of the fire. 

“I’ve waited for this moment for quite a long time,” Eris mused from where I knew he was leaning against the door. 

“You’ve made that abundantly clear throughout our courtship,” I say straight, unable to meet his predatory stare.  

“How should I have acted when you are so tempting? So innocent, so pure, and now so completely mine,” he purred and I could hear his feet shuffle as he pushed off the wall. “And now that you’ve promised me your submission? Well,” he chuckled. “I’m going to have a great deal of fun with you.” 

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I knew what was coming and I knew he wouldn’t be gentle and loving like Cassian. I knew that once again my hands were tied.  

“Tell me you belong to me,” Eris uttered, taking a step closer to where I stood rigid. 

I sucked down the lump in my throat, “I belong to you,” I whispered.

“Tell me you want me to touch you,” he went on, taking another step forward, his presence looming. 

“I-I want you to touch me,” I repeated back, a tear slipping down my cheek.

Eris hummed in approval behind me. He took one, two more steps until I felt his warmth at my back. Finger tips danced up and down the backs of my arms causing my breath to lurch in fear. His breath was hot on my neck as his presence sucked out every bit of air from the room. 

“Tell me you love me,” he purred. 

My heart stopped cold. There were many things I would have to do or say to please Eris in the millennium that I would be tied to him. But these three words? He would never hear them from my lips. Maybe towards our children, but never to him. 

“You know it wouldn't be true,” I whisper, feeling the tension radiating from his body. 

His hands grip my hips like a brand, ripping my body around until I am face to face with his seething eyes. 

“Then I will make it fucking true!” he growls hauling my mouth to his. 

Eris had kissed me a thousand times before, not one of those times did I ever enjoy the experience. But this time? This had to be the worst. All of it felt so wrong.  Knowing I had a mate. Knowing he was somewhere in this world right now. It made me sick. It was rough, all teeth and tongues. He didn’t want to kiss me, he wanted to devour me.  

“Say it!” Eris demanded, breaking apart our so-called kiss.

“I will love your hounds and your mother, I may love your brothers and one day our children, but I will never love you, Eris Vanserra,” I seethed, unable to take much more. 

I expected him to growl, or curse or hit me. I expected a thorough lashing for what I had said, but he didn’t even so much as flinch. What scared me more? His mouth curled up in a smirk. 

“You forget that you are also a Vanserra now and speaking of heirs, I think it’s time I put one in you right now,” he mused and my stomach bottomed out. “What do you say ‘Jewel of Prythian’ think I can get you knocked up on the first try?” he smiled, backing me to his bed.

There were no words for the terror I felt. No handbook to prepare me for what came next. All I could do was shut down every emotion I had and do my best to become a ghost. A shell of myself. 

No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t subdue the pain. 

Azriel’s pov: 

I thought that getting Cass drunk might help distract him from the feelings floating down the bond tonight, but boy was I fucking wrong. 

I had seen my brother lose soldiers and whole infantries. Had seen him lose his first love, the valkyrie, Tanwyn. I was there the day Rhys and y/n went under the mountain and we thought we lost them for good. 

None of that compared to the screams of agony that emanated from the male before me. 

“He’s fucking hurting her!” Cassian bemoaned, gripping the nearly empty bottle of whiskey. 

It didn’t take much to figure out that he could feel everything y/n was feeling through the bond. And at this late hour? It wasn’t hard to guess what Eris was doing to her, and Cassian had to feel every moment of it down the bond.

“Shh calm down Cass you have to try and block her out,” I pleaded with him, gripping his hand in mine. 

His eyes were glassed over, his hair tangled from him nearly ripping it out at the roots. He had been like this for well over an hour now, and I almost wished the whiskey would do its job and make him fall asleep simply so he would be unconscious. 

“I can’t Az I’ve tried,” he yells at me, nearly slumping to the side from where he sat on the floor leaning against the wall. 

Earlier Rhys had spoken into my mind and asked if everything was alright. I had lied of course, telling him everything was fine, not wanting to insert myself in my brother and the princess’ business. Now I wished I had told him to come if only for him to break into Cass’ head and make him sleep. Watching him feel everything his mate was feeling while she was being… well there weren’t words for it. 

“Breathe Cass, breathe,” I soothed, trying to get him to catch his breath long enough to breathe in and out fully. 

“I-I can’t,” he cried. “My mate.” 

His voice resonated with hopelessness and brokenness, reminiscent of the tragedies depicted in literature. This situation felt nothing short of hellish. For centuries, I longed for a mate—a bond that every fae yearned for. But witnessing how it tormented Rhysand, and observing its impact on Cassian, made me question if I truly desired a mate. In my 500 years of life, I had never seen a male stripped down to his core as profoundly as this.

y/n’s pov:

The next morning I woke up late in the day, the atrocities of last night lasting well into the early hours of the morning. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I wasn’t in the House of Wind, I was in Eris’ room. It wasn’t Cassian’s arms around me in a possessive grasp, it was Eris’.

I slowed my heartrate down enough to assess the room around me. Behind me, Eris was fast asleep, which meant I had a few moments to collect myself before he woke. I looked around the room for a second space and found a door ajar that appeared to lead to a bathroom. I saw my opportunity and took it, carefully wiggling out of Eris’ grasp. 

My body ached all over, especially between my legs, but I pushed through until I stood from the bed. I tiptoed over to the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible.  Thankfully there were two robes hung on the door. The one for Eris made up of thick cotton, and the one for me made of a cream colored silk. 

I reached for the silk robe and slipped it over my bare body, noting every large bruise and handprint that littered my skin. A problem for a later time, I told myself. 

I must’ve spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom collecting myself. Constantly repeating my new found mantra. 

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

I spent so long taking deep breaths that I thought I was prepared for whatever came next. But the second I opened the door and saw Eris standing, staring down at the white sheets of the bed expectantly I knew I was sorely mistaken.

“You didn’t bleed,” Eris stated, tossing the bedsheets aside, stalking towards me. 

“What do you mean?” I replied feigning innocence like I didn’t know what he meant. 

My heart began to beat out of my chest as Eris stalked closer and closer to me. How could I have been so stupid? To overlook the one thing that meant the most to him in this entire facade.  

“Virgins are supposed to bleed the first time they are taken by a male, yet you didn’t,” he growled, stepping into my bubble as my back hit the wall. Never in my life had I felt so small.  “Which means you weren’t pure when you married me, or when you came to my bed.” 

Every nerve in my body froze over as I watched him put together the pieces. There was no telling what happened next, and the only thing I could do was beg for mercy from whatever plans Eris had for a soiled female. 

“Eris I-” 

“Did you let that Illyrian bastard deflower you?” he gritted out, a rough hand came to grip my  throat, slamming my head against the wall. 

Tears pricked my eyes. Even if I had wanted to answer, the hand on my neck wouldn’t allow me. I could only shake in terror and anticipation of what would become of me. 

“You useless, pathetic fucking whore.” he gritted, hand squeezing tighter with every insult. “Our marriage is now null and void by the traditions of my court, which means you no longer have the protection of being called my wife.” 

His hand releases my throat and I have mere seconds to suck down a breath before a harsh slap falls across my cheek, knocking the air from my lungs once again. The next thing I know I’m kneeling on the floor, clutching my face. Eris reaches out a hand to yank me up by my hair. 

“Let me show you what we do to ran through sluts in my court,” Eris spits in my face. 

His hand doesn’t relinquish its grip from my hair. Instead it begins to drag me out of the room and down the hall. My scalp is burning from the tug on my hair. He takes a back corridor reserved for servants and my bare knees bump, slice and break on the rough stone stairs leading down to wherever he’s taking me.

My hands try to find purchase on the walls around me so that I can ground myself and fight back but it’s impossible. 

“ERIS PLEASE!” I scream, but my pleas fall on deaf ears. 

We reach a basement room that drops in temperature and he finally releases me. I try to catch my breath as I watch him scribble something on a piece of paper, picking up a hammer and nail. I instantly go to cower in a corner as he walks towards me. The autumn prince pulls me out of my fetal position by my  ankles pinning me to the ground beneath his weight. 

“In case I did get you pregnant on the first try,” he seethes before I feel a sharp pain to my lower abdomen. 

I don’t look down, I can’t look down. Afraid of what I might see there when I do. My eyes roll to the back of my head as Eris grasps my arm and a cloud of darkness washes over us. 

When the shadow withdraws my bare skin is whipped and flayed by blistering cold winds. The ground beneath me is soft, but ice cold. I open my eyes long enough to see white as far as the eye can see. 

The Winter Court. 

“And just  in case you get any ideas about utilizing that so-called mating bond,” Eris speaks again before another sharp sting plunges into my side. 

White hot pain spreads from the intrusion and spreads like acid moving through my veins. I feel like the blood beneath my skin is on fire, and I almost wish it was in order to combat the blizzard around me. Only one thing could disable me like this, bloodbane. The very same used on Cassian.

“You’ve brought this upon yourself, ‘Jewel of Prythian’. I hope that bastard general was worth your life and your court. Because when Hybern comes to call it won’t be Autumn Court armies that come to your aid.” Eris says, the disgust in his voice evident. 

I can’t speak, can’t even think about anything but the agony I feel. The throb from my lower abdomen and from my side. The bite of the wind and snow on my bare skin. I can barely register the cloud of darkness as Eris winnows himself away, leaving me with nothing but a silk robe for warmth. 

I reached down with a cold hand to rip the dagger from my side. I hoped if I could stop the bloodbane from spreading that I might be able to use the bond to call Cassian. The second I discard the dagger blood stains the white snow surrounding me, and I realize my mistake. My hand grasps at the open wound, attempting to apply pressure. As I sat there, bleeding and freezing to death I thought of one thing. 

It was all for nothing.

All the pain, all the suffering. Hurting Cassian, hurting myself. It had all been for nothing. I was dying and alone, fingers and toes already losing feeling and I still had no army for my people. Cassian nowhere in sight to save my body and my soul. And I would die here knowing that it was all for nothing. 

Because time was of the essence, and no one was coming.

Part 10

Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @nickishadow139 ,  @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21  @stinkinstuffie , @lilah-asteria , @12358 , @fxckmiup, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @mybestfriendmademe, @anxious-study, @bxm-1012 , @mal-adaptive-dreams ,  @sh4nn , @talesofadragon , @5onedirection5 

Been having some trouble with tagging so if you get the notif twice I'm so sorry

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always

[lonely-lost-soul]

Fight For Me

(C!Technoblade x gn!possessive!Reader)

Request 11: could I maybe request some c!techno x gn!possessive!reader fluff that follows someone trying to threaten techno while completely brushing off the reader only for the reader to step in and feral threaten them back (perhaps some fighting ensues with reader coming out on top) and then techno is awestruck by his partner which is then where the fluff comes in

Requested By: @bowlofsoup

I hope you like it!

“Sweetheart can you do me a favor and pass me the blaze powder,” Technoblade asked from his hunched-over position at his brewing station. He was wearing more casual clothes, his glasses loose on his nose, hair pulled back into a messy bun. You sat next to him on one of the chests, legs swinging up and down, you were wearing one of Techno’s oversized shirts.

“Sure thing,” You hummed tossing open the chest and handing him a bottle of said powder, he reached forward to take the bottle from your hands and you kissed his lips before he could take the bottle. Technoblade purred happily, his eyes going half-lidded at the surprise kiss, you chuckled against his lips as he flushed pink.

“Cringe.”

“Nerd,” You shot back with a smile he rolled his eyes focusing back on his potions, “Why’re you making these again?” Your gaze shifted towards the window. It was snowing again, it was always snowing. You hated that you were getting sick of the constant cold you wondered what the weather was like back at L’manburg or L’manhole was a better term for the once-prosperous nation. Technoblade looked back up at you, his hand reached out to interlock with your own, which caught your attention snapping you out of your daydreaming and you smiled back at him.

“Someone wants to buy them off me, figure sees what they’d offer me for it, not like I’m worried about getting jumped or anything,” Technoblade smirked coyly at you, almost like he was awaiting your praise. You didn’t fall for it though, simply letting out a little hum in approval, he frowned and cleared his throat.

“Oh sorry. Oh baby you’re so brave and strong, no one can take you down.” You pressed your hands together swooning sarcastically, Technoblade frowned and put you into a headlock. You laughed loudly instead of fighting against him you snuggled in his hold, “You’d never hurt me.”

“Try me.”

“Is that a challenge?” You mused with a flutter of your eyelashes, Technoblade flushed a little and grumbled under his breath. He could feel the smugness radiating off your entire being, if you were anyone else he would’ve sent you through a wall.

“Just shut up and grab a bag for the potions. They’re almost done.”

“Yes sir.” You saluted hopping off the chest to grab your bag from the coat rack, it was a soft brown bag covered in patches. Holding the bag open you allowed Technoblade to place the potions inside of them, “we ready to go?”

“You grabbed your coat and had breakfast right?” He raised an eyebrow, it seemed to be your turn to flush and Technoblade frowned, “Right?” Technoblade’s eyes narrowed in your direction and he watched you tap your fingers together sheepishly. “You’re a disaster, you’d be dead without me. Eat,” Technoblade dragged you into the kitchen and pulled out a roll for you to munch on, “Jam?”

“Yes please.” You gave a firm nod as he grabbed the knife and spread it on the bread before handing it to you.

“Remember to eat, can’t have my Starlight starving themselves,” The way you turned red made the hybrid smirk coyly at you. “You mean too much to me to go out in such a lame way, there has to be at least a little bit of bloodshed. Maybe some dismemberment if you’re lucky.”

“Damn and to think I was flattered for half a minute.” Techno chuckled at your comment, a deep rumble in his chest, you couldn’t help but smile yourself. You bit off a piece of bread, teeth tearing through the food easily “Ready to go now?”

“Finish eating then we can go. There’s no rush.”

“Isn’t someone waiting for us?”

“Let them wait,” Technoblade shrugged, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you close. You melted into his warm body closing your eyes, just taking a moment to bask in your love for the Blood God, how did you get so lucky?

Unbeknownst to you, he was thinking the same thing about you.

Eventually, you pulled away from him, much to his displeasure, and reluctantly said you both should head out. He huffed in protest and you pecked his lips, assuring him that the long journey would be worth it in the end. You both slide on your winter gear and headed towards Carl in the stables, you scratched the horse’s nose and he whinnied at the attention from his second favorite person. Technoblade tossed him an apple to which he munched on happily before applying his saddlebags to the sides of the horse, he hopped onto him and held a hand out to you. You took the hand with a wild smile swinging your leg over the side of Carl and wrapping your arms around Technoblade’s waist securely. He looked at you over his shoulder and pecked your forehead lightly, you cooed at him in response, and just like that the both of you were off. As you traversed the Tundra, your adoring boyfriend decided it would be a great time to quiz you on your fighting skills. He always did this, especially when he was nervous about something, you concluded a part of him was nervous the deal would go south and you’d end up hurt. You squeezed him a little and answered all his questions in hopes you’d ease his worries, it seemed to work as he relaxed against your chest. You would’ve played with his hair if it wasn’t tied up in a bun, so instead, you settled for giving him gentle kisses on the back of his neck.

He was a wreck by the time you got to the meeting spot, all red-faced and embarrassed. You did feel a little guilty but it was also very entertaining to watch him slide off the horse all frustrated with your antics. “You’re lucky we have somewhere to be,” he vaguely threatened and you hummed,

“What happened to ‘they can wait?’” His red eyes narrowed into slits and Carl stomped his foot, “oh you’re such a party pooper.” You complained as the horse nudged you forward towards the meeting spot. Technoblade huffed now turning his glare on Carl for interrupting your moment. He adjusted the sword at his hip and marched forward expecting you to follow, you did, but it’s the principle that irked you. Walking a little way down the wooded path you came across a man in a beanie leaning against a tree, he had small yellow wings and a scar going from his right eye down to the top of his lip. Your head snapped to Techno and you hissed, “You didn’t tell me it was Quackity! The mother fucker planned your execution!”

“Hush.” He waved you off, “money is money. If he can offer us something good we shouldn’t complain.”

“But-”

“Finally!” The man groaned stretching his arms above his head, his small wings fluttered as he pushed off the tree, “Took you long enough. Who’s your little friend?” He raised an eyebrow at your stature and you glared hotly at him, already wanting to tear his throat out.

“My partner.” Technoblade answered monotonously, “Is that important?”

“Romantically or like your bodyguard.” He snickered at the mental image of the Blood God hiring a bodyguard for himself.

“That’s none of your business.” You snapped, Technoblade’s hand squeezed your shoulder trying to calm you down.

“I suppose not.” Quackity clapped his hands together, his two golden rings bouncing off one another making a soft clicking sound, “let’s get down to business than Mr. Blade. I want the potions you have, what exactly do you want in return?”

“What can you give me?” Technoblade raised an eyebrow, his hand never leaving the bag of potions at his side, Quackity tapped his chin in thought.

“Anything you desire. I came into a… a lot of money recently, a lot of people owe me a few favors. So I can truly give you anything,” Quackity smirked as you noticed Technoblade’s eye twitch, he didn’t like the sound of someone having so much power, and to be honest you didn’t either.

“Huh. well alright then.” He grunted drumming his fingers against the bag, “these favors people owe you, what exactly did you do for them?”

“Are you asking me to spill all my secrets? Techno you dog.” He purred out teasingly, “they made some bets with me and they lost simply as that.”

“What did they lose?” You asked and Quackity rolled his eyes,

“You’re a talker aren’t you?”

“Back off.” Technoblade snarled earning another eyebrow raise from the man, but you did briefly see fear flicker across his eyes. “You talk to them like that again deals off and I take another one of your teeth, understand me.”

“Understood, big guy. No hard feelings.” He held up his hands in defense his tiny wings ruffling a little bit showing off his nervousness, “Although your attitude just proves my point. You’re a brute and you’ll always be a brute.” Technoblade didn’t respond to the harassing but had a feeling you might as the pressure on your shoulder increased. Your jaw was set hard, as Quackity continued, “you truly are more monster than human.”

Oh, he did not just say that to Techno.

In one swift movement, you pulled Technoblade’s sword from its sheath at his side and drew it in front of you, pure anger flooding through your veins. Techno tried to grab the sword before you did something stupid but you were already charging at Quackity. He looked a little frightened as an ax appeared at his side, “Take it back.” You spit as metal clashed against metal, your eyes blazing with unadulterated rage, “Take it back right now. He’s so much more than that.” You swung the sword back which caused Quackity to stumble backward throwing off his rhythm,

“Bite me bitch.” Quackity snapped back attempting to regain his footing as he blocked another blow from you,

“Don’t tempt me birdie.” You sassed right back, which threw him off his game again not expecting you to come back with a retort and a nickname. You kicked him solidly in the chest and he fell flat on his ass the sword swung and the tip dug into his throat. His adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped nervously,

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.” He sputtered out as you narrowed his eyes, “look I’m sorry okay, okay! My mouth gets the best of me sometimes, I’ll admit that! I’m a humble guy!” You rolled your sharp (e/c) eyes at that statement, “Look, deal still on this time I’ll throw in two gold rings yeah?” He swallowed thickly “Also all the diamond I have on me and in my enderchest.”

Turning to glance at Techno for the first time he cleared his throat looking absolutely flushed. He shifted uncomfortably and marched over to the both of you a hand resting on your lower back. Technoblade glared down at the duck hybrid,

“We don’t want your rings. I want all the money you’ve won from your deals and a god apple.”

“I don’t have-”

“Then think of it as an I.O.U. birdy.” You pursed your lips feeling Technoblade squeeze your back, “Deal?” The tip of the sword dug a little deeper into his throat,

“FUCK! Yes, yes deal!” He squawked and you removed the sword, Technoblade immediately took it from your hands shooting you a look that screamed,

‘We are talking about this later.’

Technoblade tossed the contents of the bag at Quackity and he snatched up all the potions he could shoving them into his chest. Immediately handing you the diamonds he had on him, as Quackity scurried away Technoblade didn’t remove his hand from your back. Once his yellow wings disappeared into the treeline Technoblade spun you around and pressed a kiss to your lips. It immediately stole your breath away, as you stumbled back a few steps.

“That.” He kissed your jaw, “was the hottest,” he kissed your neck next, “thing we’ve seen in a while.” Technoblade purred pressing another passionate kiss to your lips, your hands desperately tried to pull out his hair from his bun to give it a hard yank. A louder purr rumbled from his chest as he pulled away to rest his forehead on yours,

“So the voices liked my badassery too?”

“Oh yeah,” his eyes fluttered a little his breathing hitching, “god they want me to just bite the shit out of you. Mark you all over. You can’t tease them like, they’re sensitive.” You cooed softly tracing his jawline with nimble fingers,

“I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to them once we get home.” His eyes shot up to meet your own lidded ones, with a loud whistle he called Carl over, he scooped you up in his arms causing you to laugh loudly.

You could safely say that was the fastest you and Techno had ever gotten home.

[turtle-go-brrrr]

4 times Leonardo was a dork and the time he wasn’t

Heya! I adore the "strong stoic character does something embarrassing or dumb" trope, and Leo has been left behing from that one. Also, my fervent Leo Simp Friend said these were all good ideas and I trust his judgment completely, so it's also for him. Enjoy, you Dork-ass Looser (affectionate) @weird-flex-but-ok

I have one of these "4 times ______ and 1 time ______" stories for each of them, I just got really inspired by him all of a sudden. But they're coming!

There might be a few typos here and there, but I really don't wanna wait any longer to post it :3

Requested: No

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 2500 +

Triggers: cursing, injuries, blood, intrusion

Summary: You were always sort of intimidated by the leader in blue, but a series of events shows you he might not be as serious as he wants you to think.

__________________________________________

First time

It took you a while to get along with all of them.

Not because you didn't trust them, or because they made it difficult, and certainly not because they're mutants. You're just not that good with new people, and you tend to shy away. Especially when you have New York's heroes in front of you.

So yeah. It took a while. But soon enough, you warmed up to your new friends, and you had a great time. Mikey was the first who made you feel welcomed, always asking questions about you and insisting you came to the lair in the first place. Donnie followed soon, after you started asking about what he was working on. It took a bit more work to get closer to Raph, but it turns out sarcasm was the way to go.

If only their leader was as approachable.

He never made you feel unsafe or unwelcomed, don’t get me wrong, he just kept a professional distance with you, which started to become quite painful as time went on. You tried not to take it personally, thinking he maybe was as shy as you were.

You had time anyway.

It was early in the evening when you made your way to the lair. For the first time since you met the turtles, you went there alone. You were a little nervous, thinking you might get lost in the maze of tunnels under the city, but figured you could just call someone if anything happened. Lucky for you, you found your way to your friend’s place, but not without hustle.

As you entered, you realized it was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sounds you could here were the faint music and the not so faint curses from Donatello’s lab. The smart decision seemed to be leave him alone, which is exactly what you did.

You haven’t been here long enough to know where to find the others, and as you didn’t exactly felt like staying alone in the living space, you tried finding your way to the dojo, as it was one of the other places you knew well.

Of course, now you got lost. Venturing into the sewers was fine, but walking into your friend's home wasn't, apparently.

You found something else, however. This particular tunnel led to a room you could identify as someone's room. You could see the large bed in the middle of the room, a small table with a bottle of water, a book, and a makeshift alarm. A set of twin swords were hanging on the right wall, just above a small bookshelf.

On your left was another table with a (healthy, you noted) bonsai tree, and next to that was Leonardo, facing a mirror. He had his right arm lifted up to his head, and was looking right to you through the mirror.

He looked absolutely horrified.

What the fuck.

He slowly rubbed his face in his hands, let out a long sigh, and turned to you, more tense than you've ever seen him. He cleared his throat as you pince your lips in a thin line to hold back a smile.

"Hello, Y/N. I... didnt think you'd come in so early."

Despite the badly lit room, you can see him bite the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah, uh, I didnt mean to... interrupt you," you say. Your voice is slightly shaking as it takes all of your willpower not to burst out laughing. And he definitely notices.

"You didn't! I uh, wasn't doing anything anyway. So, tell me- what brings you to the lair?" He asks, avoiding your eyes.

"Oh, Mikey invited me, he said I wasnt allowed to skip on movie night. You know how strong willed he is," you smirks, unable to handle it much longer.

Stiff as a board, you see the corner of his mouth twitching and hear him whisper, "... I wasn't flexing."

Silence.

You snort laugh hard enough to choke on it as you quickly turn around to hold yourself against the wall, the insanity of the situation crashing on you. Leo sat at the foot of his bed, head in his hands, and you could see him shake in repressed laughter once you wiped your tears away.

You sit next to him after finally calming down from the hysteria. He sighs, straightens his back and gives you a side glance.

"I'm not judging."

"You're still laughing, though."

"Yeah, but like, I guess I just wasn't expecting that. Still not judging."

He nods, still smiling. His voice is at least 3 octaves higher when he asks, "Please, don't tell the others."

"And what, give them the privilege of knowing about your little... ritual? Nah, don't worry about it."

_______________________

Second time

The second time your assumptions about the leader were subverted happended only two weeks after the... incident.

You had invited the whole crew to your place for the very first time, and they were all excited to come. You made a copious dinner: a few veggie cakes, chicken wings and a bowl of roasted potatoes. They were supposed to bring the drinks and movies, and April and Casey were in charge of the desert.

A perfect night, it seemed.

And it would have been if they could decide what to watch first without jumping at each other's throats.

"You guys need to grow up."

"Leave me out of thi-"

"Donnie's suggesting Velocipastor of all things and you think we need to grow up? Come on, Y/N, I thought you were better than that."

"Okay, first of all, how dare you. And second, this movie's a masterpie-"

"Yeah, because everyone knows that his supremior intellect means he's the only one who gets to choose a dumb movie. Why won't you guys watch Sharknado?"

"Supremior isn't a word. And it's because unlike you, peasants, I have taste." A devilish smile creeps up Donnie's face. The bastard is doing it on purpose.

"Peasants?!"

"You ugly-ass son of a-"

"Hey! Leave Dad out of this!"

"We could watch Shrek instead?"

You decided to go get some glasses in the kitchen, leaving the children to their stupid fight. Searching through your cupboard, you hear a crashing sound, quickly followed by utter and complete silence.

Oh no.

In insight, leaving them alone was maybe not the best idea. You were reconsidering bringing glasses into the mess as you made your way to the origin of the sound. And what a mess it was.

Your friends were all expressing shock in some way, Casey (surprisingly) being the most dramatic of them all with his hands right in front of his face and his jaw hanging open. They were all looking back and forth between you and another direction near the table.

The really cool bowl that held the delicious potatoes you made was broken on the floor. There was glass and potatoes everywhere, but the biggest shards were in a neat pile, right behind Leonardo, who looked like a deer in headlights.

"... nothing happended."

"I'm... starting to think it's a habit of yours," you say as you watch him not so discretely try to hide the broken pieces behind his foot.

"Look, if you keep putting your foot in there you're gonna hurt yourself. Just, step away a bit, will you?"

"I'm sorry I broke it. Let me help you clean up, I don't want you to cut yourself."

"It's okay! Don't touch it, I'll get a bag," you say as he starts to gather the biggest shards.

Won't even listen for one second, will he?

Raph was already picking up the untouched potatoes to put them in the plates on the table, and April went to the kitchen with you to retrieve the bag and cleaning supplies.

"Ew, Mikey don't eat that."

"Thirty seconds rule, baby."

"It's five seconds, you moron. And it's way over thirty anyway. Spit it out."

The rest of the night went on without further issues, but Leo still looked apologetic during the movie. Which is probably why he was standing before you as his brothers were leaving.

"Thank you for the evening. And I'm... sorry again for the bowl."

"Hey it's okay, man. Don't worry about it. As long as no one gets hurt it's not that big of a deal."

"I'll get you a new one." He doesn't wait for your answer and ruffles your hair before taking off.

"Text me when you guys get home!" You scream into the night, hoping one of them heard you.

______________________

Third time

It's surprisingly easy to mess with Fearless.

You were in the living room, getting your ass beat on Mario Kart by Mikey, when you decided to take a break for your stomach (and ego)’s sake. You made your way to the kitchen, where Leo and Raph were in a heated discussion. Raph looked

“I’m telling you, 4 inches is too small. What do you get from 4 inches ? Nothing. But 10 inches ? It really makes you feel something.”

…

What?

You looked down on the table and saw multiple ingredients lined up on the table, with a long piece of bread on the side.

Oh, sandwiches. Got it.

Leo’s back was facing you, but Raph gave you a knowing glance, one that said ‘do it’. So, you did. Not without a smirk, first.

“Oh, wow, Leo ! I didn’t think you’d be so open about that kind of conversations.” You open the fridge, hoping you can hide your smile behind the door.

“What ? What do you m-” His face falls. Raph starts chuckling next to you and it looks like Leo’s brain is rebooting. 

“I mean, I’m not judging. You do you, buddy, I’m happy for you. Just surprised you choose lunch time to talk about it.” And in other circumstances, you’d mean every word. But right now, messing with your friend is too good to pass on.

“No, hold on- I didnt mean- It’s not what you think ! I’m talking about sandwiches !” He tries to show you the ingredients currently on the table, but Raph decides it’s time to join the fun.

“Lying isn’t vey Bushido of you, Honor Boy,” he winks at you and you can’t repress a giggle.

He puts his face in his hands, knowing very well that the both of you ganged up on him but unable to save face. He just smiles, goes back on his chair and hides his head in his arms, hoping you won’t see how embarassed you made him.

“Hey, you like what you like. Have fun with your sandwiches.” You give him an innocent smile, pat him twice on the shoulder, and join Mikey back on the couch with a plate of grapes.

You could hear Raph’s light chuckle from the kitchen.

______________________

Fourth time

Mornings are hard.

And they’re even worse when you spent the whole night sewing an arm back together after a sword gave it a nasty cut. And getting glass shards off of your friend’s shell. And putting a bone back in it’s rightful place after a particularly bad fall.

Yeah. Long night. And a tense one, too.

Because with the physical pain came the chock and residual fears, the anger and blaming. Everyone was stil on guard, and all that tension was exhausting. You barely slept, too worried that one of your friend’s state would degrade if you didn’t keep an eye on them at all times. Which didn’t really help you get the rest you needed.

If you were hoping the morning would be kinder on all of you, you quickly realized that it was a mistake. While, luckily for the turles, the mutagen was already healing their physical wounds, the emotional exhaustion of the previous night was still heavy. Of all of your conscious friends, not one dared break the eerie silence.

It was weird, seeing them like this. But you couldn’t force yourself to say anything, strangely scared of what could happen. You resumed to making breakfast for everyone and bringing clean towels to the still sleeping feverish turtle in the medbay. Splinter and Mikey were at the kitchen table, quietly accepting your offering, when Leo came into the room from the medbay.

He was still half asleep, and in his drowsiness didn’t see the wall he accidentally ran into.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

Everyone turned to Leo, who it took a solid minute of staring blindly at the wall to realize what just happened.

Donnie was the first to laugh. It didn’t take long for april and Mikey to join, soon followed by Splinter affectionately patting his son’s arm. Leo smiled and shook his head, as their lighthearted laugh was contagious.

The leader in blue was more of a goofball than what you first expected, and you were grateful for it in the fading tensions of the morning.

______________________

One time he wasn't

When someone intrudes your home, especially at 4 am when you were sleeping in the next room, a lot of things go through your head.

Did they take anything?

Yes. Your bag with your wallet, some cash, your credit card, your ID, and a few fidelity cards from various stores. Your laptop. A set of keys. That one blanket Raph made you (probably to carry everything without making too much noise).

Why you?

Why not? Your apartment isn't isolated, but it's not exactly on a main street either. It was probably practical for them.

Were they armed?

Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. Probably. Statistically, most likely.

What could have happened if you had tried to confront them?

A lot of things. Maybe, if you let them know you were awake and knew what was going on, without necessarily confronting them, it would have been enough to make them run away. Or maybe there were multiple armed people, and they wouldn't hesitate to use force if necessary.

Who knows.

Can the police find this person?

Statistically? No. At least, that's what Casey told you when you asked him. Unless they got really lucky, they won't find anything.

Or at least the stuff they stole?

Again, unlikely. Unless they can trace your laptop back to the guy, or someone can give a physical description and a direction, there's not a lot they can do.

What can you do now?

Call your bank. And your insurance. And your landlord. Let them know what happened and follow their directive, they'll guide you through their procedure and help you soften the blow.

Casey was the first person you called when you woke up this night, and he was at your place within minutes with two other colleagues (the closest he could find). He spent the rest of the night reassuring you, helping you with the phone calls, asking around for witnesses, but nothing.

It's weird, feeling unsafe for the first time in a place you had called Home for years. It's disturbing. You can feel the nausea your anxiety is giving you, and a headache starts to grow at the back of your skull.

You don't really like this feeling.

So when your turtle friends dropped by the next evening without telling you and you welcomed them with a swing of your favorite pan, let's just say reactions were split.

"I can hack into your computer to find its location if you want. Wouldn't be the first time."

"What?"

"What? I mean, I didn't do it for your location last time. I know all about your search history, though."

"We're gonna have a talk about boundaries and privacy once we're done dealing with that," you sigh. You crash down on the couch next to your friend and mindlessly watch him work.

Leo comes up to you and gently nudges your shoulder. "Hey, do you have a toolbox somewhere? We brought locks to put on your door and windows. You know, just in case."

You nod, quiet, and lead him to your room where you keep most of the most useful stuff you own, including but not limited to a toolbox and a first aid kit.

Your movements were almost mechanical as you retrieved the box and handed it to him, and you decided to help him put up the locks to keep your mind occupied.

He was concerned. You looked like you were still in choc, which he could completely understand. Getting robbed is awful in itself, but getting robbed while you're sleeping in the next room? Horrific, in his mind.

He was also furious. He couldn't be there for you. This person had the nerves to go after his friend, and what if you got hurt? He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

He noticed he was staring when your eyes met his.

"Hey. We're gonna do whatever we can to find them. We're also gonna focus our patrols in your neighborhood for at least a few weeks, until you feel better," he puts a hand on your shoulder. "It's gonna be okay Y/N. Trust me."

You look up to him, and when you look into his eyes, you know he means it. You let your head fall against his plastron as he holds you against him, a silent promise for safety.

"Hey shorty," Raph pulls his head into the crack of the door to address you. "Wanna learn how to fight? I can turn you into a death machine."

You heard the faint "Raph, what the fuck" coming from Mikey who was still in the living room.

You gave a small laugh as you got up, Leo following you closely to the living room.

"Hey! Fighting isn't for everyone. But I could make you a really cool taser, if you want."

"What's with you and tasers?"

"They're efficient."

The bell ringed and April came in holding 4 boxes of pizza, that Mikey assisted her with as soon as she set a foot inside.

You looked around at your friends as April brandished the pizzas like a trophy while Raph and Donnie went back and forth trying to decide who, between man power and electricity, would win in a fight.

And you realized that yes, Leo was right.

It's gonna be okay.

[haitanirindo]

zukka fics that live in my head rent free! 

1. what did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth (what were you digging) by draco_sollicitus status: complete (18k words) rating: mature pairing(s): sokka/zuko  summary: Sokka is immortal; it's been tested, he knows that he can't die. He's immortal, but he's not quite a god like his sister, Katara. He's immortal, but he's not quite powerful like his friends Aang and Toph. He's just sort of Sokka: good at fixing things, good at playing pranks, good at helping people. When a bet against Toph goes horribly wrong, and an attempt to save him goes even worse, Sokka finds himself the unwilling guest of the Lord of the Underworld. And, strangely enough, every story Sokka's heard about Lord Zuko seems to be ... completely wrong. (Also, he's really handsome. Why does he have to be handsome?)

mythology nerds come get y’all juice. a very good fic. 10/10

2. Where I Want to Be by through-the-stars-to-the-pavement status: WIP (83k words) rating: explicit pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: "'The fog was where I wanted to be.'" Everything is different. The pitch of his voice, his posture. The auditorium goes silent. No one can take their eyes off of him.… He's amazing.  Zuko had to perfect the art of acting as a child to survive the horrors of his homelife. When he got older, it was only natural to take his talent to the stage for entertainment and escape. Enter Sokka, a craftsman and set designer with a giant heart who is haunted by plenty of ghosts of his own. A tale of trauma, disability, family, creativity, and love. 

this is one of my all time favorite fics. it’s seriously so good and i think about it often

3. Teaching a Heart by @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney status: WIP (114k words) rating: teen and up pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: Sokka is asked to go to the Fire Nation to teach the crown prince how to sword fight. When he arrives, he's surprised to learn he has to pose as a companion before he can teach the stubborn prince because he rejects every teacher. Far from home and among new customs, Sokka struggles to gain the prince's trust and friendship despite the uncertainties of the customs and dynamics he sees. As he slowly finds answers to his questions, his bond with the prince grows until it becomes something far more ardent than friendship. Doomed as it may be with the prince's approaching wedding ceremony and coronation, Sokka and Zuko find themselves consumed by what they find in each other.

i have no words, i just love this fic and it makes me weep.

4. The Road Between Action and Inaction by @donvex status: complete (17k words) rating: teen and up pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: Sokka does a shitty k turn in the parking lot across from the bus station, pulls up to the curb where the boy is looking determinedly at his phone, and rolls down the passenger window. “Hey! Which way were you going?” He may die, but at least his conscience will be clear. The guy blinks at him. “Don’t.” Oh, he’s prickly. Or: the hitchhiker au, featuring Sokka and Zuko falling in love without even realizing it.

a classic. roadtrip fics own my ass. 

5. purrfect for eachother by lesmiserablol status: complete (3k words) rating: general audiences pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: “Let me teach you how to be a cat person,” Zuko says. “Learning from the master himself,” Sokka grins. “Alright, this can’t be too hard. Show me what you got.” (because sometimes, it takes going to a cat café four times to realize you're in love with your best friend)

this whole series is adorable, reading it is self care

6. Ashes Inside When You Finish Your Song by @muncaster status: complete (47k words) rating: teen and up pairing(s): sokka/zuko, aang/katara, mai/ty lee summary: Sokka writes lyrics for his sister’s band. Zuko plays piano and is unnecessarily nice. Fellas, is it gay to write love songs about your friend and his golden eyes? (AKA, a modern band AU featuring The Gaang, crappy software equipment, homoerotic lyrics, and the realization that maybe, if you think about a guy every night before you sleep, you just might be in love with him.)

i think this is the longest one-shot i’ve ever read and it’s so worth it

7. a study in matchmaking by @verdanthoney status: complete (12k words) rating: general audiences pairing(s): sokka/zuko, aang/katara, bato/hakoda summary: Zuko and Sokka try to play matchmaker, but things don't go exactly as planned.

this fic makes me want to scream, in the best way. it’s so cute

8. A Predictable Story by mindbending status: complete (7k words) rating: general audiences pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: "On this night, you shall share a kiss with a great love of your life!” That lying, scummy Aunt Wu predicts a grand romance for Sokka. To disprove her "fortunetelling" once and for all, Sokka decides to spend the night with least romantic person he knows. Zuko.

again, i have no words. this fic is cute as hell

9. that’s murder, buddy by @bisexual-atla status: WIP (14k words) rating: teen and up pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: Throughout the streets, on quiet nights, it was rumored the screams of those missing could be heard. Some say the sounds were coming from underground. Where were the young girls? And what was happening to them? Was an evil spirit haunting Gaoling, or something more human? More sinister? My name is Zuko, and you’re tuning into another episode of ‘That’s Murder, Buddy’. Or: Sokka has no idea that his crush is the host of his favorite podcast. (But everyone else knows.)

i love the entire concept of this one, we love oblivious sokka

10. We’ll play hide and seek (to turn this around) by @crosspin status: complete (5k words) rating: general audiences pairing(s): sokka/zuko, bato/hakoda summary: Sokka gave him a sheepish smile. “It’s…well, you see, there’s this boy…” Hakoda sighed and set down the sports section. This was going to take a while. “He works at Barnes & Noble. At the big information desk in the middle. Every Saturday. And I really want to ask him for his number, but it’s super awkward because there’s always this other guy working the information desk at the same time. He’s old, like you. But I have a plan." Sokka’s eyes lit up deviously. “You come with me to Barnes & Noble today when they’re working and distract the old man. And while you have him distracted, I’ll swoop in and get the goods!” Sokka has a plan to ask out the cute boy at the bookstore. Hakoda is a begrudging participant until he meets the boy's beautiful older coworker.

this fic!! this fic! adorable, incredible, magnificent

11. feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe status: WIP (88k words) rating: teen and up pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: [Time passes oddly. Between one second and the next, Sokka has the Fire Lord pinned to the wall with his hands around the bastard’s throat. Golden eyes (one gold eye, his mind whispers) widen in shock. “Sokka?” he chokes out. And then he smiles. What the fuck? “Sokka, I—” Sokka slams his head against the wall, once, twice, and the smile wipes off his face. Good. “What,” Sokka bites out, “have you done to my sister?”] Or: An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends. Yeah, nah.

if you’ve been following me for a while you know this fic fucks me up beyond belief

12. breakable heaven by @fruitysokka status: WIP (43k words) rating: teen and up pairing(s): sokka/zuko summary: With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

this just in: sokka and zuko being oblivious makes me want to yell

this turned out a bit longer than i expected but it also doesn’t even cover all my favorites. i had to stop somewhere, or i’d be here forever. maybe i’ll make a part two someday.

anyway, enjoy!

[dreamescapeswriting]

I See Red ~ PJM [Request]

WORD COUNT: 9K

GENRE: Mafia AU, CEO Jimin, quite fast paced (i need to work on slow burns I’m sorry guys)

PAIRING: Ceo!Jimin x Fem!Mafia!Reader

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of torture, blood, violence, hitting, threats, kidnapping, y/n is a boss ass mother fucker, I’m not sure what mafia businesses do so I hope this is all good for you my love!

A/N: I hope you don’t mind what I did with Jimin and Y/n! Thank you to my wonderful editor @moonprincessdiviniation Who caught a few mistakes and changed them for me! @killerharleyjaderose I hope you like it and it’s as you had imagined it!! I had a lot of fun with this one!

If you could be doing anything right now it would be staying at home with your twins, brother and sister - Min Jae and Yeobin. It was the perfect weather to play out in the garden with them, which was their favourite thing to do with you. The sun was up and shining brightly, it was hot outside thanks to it being the start of their summer holidays and they were on their way back from their dad’s. It would have been the perfect day to hang out in the garden with them but instead, you were here in a meeting with people you didn't want to be in a meeting with. The kids adored playing out in the garden or doing anything if it meant they got to spend time with their extremely busy mother. 

The meeting you were in seemed to be dragging on from one moment to the next as you stared out of the huge floor to the ceiling glass window, just looking out into the city. You were doing anything to keep yourself entertained while whoever was speaking spoke. Normally you would be more than interested in the meetings that were being given but right now you didn't care. A room full of men asking you countless pointless questions or asking for more security on their businesses when they just weren't worth the hassle.

"Miss Y/l/n?" You turned around in the black leather chair, to see your assistant standing at the door. The small brunette had her clipboard clutched to her chest as she looked at you nervously. The man - Mr Hoonjoong - that had been speaking stopped as he stared at you with an annoyed look on his face. He didn't seem all that impressed that he'd been interrupted by a woman and that you hadn't even been listening to him in the first place. 

"Come in, Areum." You told her as you motioned for her to walk into the room with your two fingers, ignoring the men that were in the room watching you. Areum glanced over at you nervously before giving you the secret hand signal that you had together. It was just a simple Shaka hand sign and that meant that your kids were in the waiting area. 

"Sorry men, I think we're going to have to cut today short," You mumbled, as you got up from the chair you were sitting in, slipping into the black heels and straightening out the black pencil skirt you were wearing. 

"We've only just started-" Mr Hoonjoong said as he looked at you, 

"Mr Hoonjoong, we will continue this extremely boring meeting when I'm back from my personal life...Maybe you should use this time to take your wife...Or your mistress out to dinner." The old man froze as you mentioned the multiple partners he thought he kept a secret, and you smiled condescendingly at him. It was your job to know everything about everyone and that included everyone who worked in and around your company. Hoonjoong was one of the many men who worked with you that didn't think you belonged where you were. No men liked to believe that a woman could be a mother of twins as well as a powerful mafia leader and most of them hated the fact that they had to run everything by you.

"Now, if you don’t mind you’'ll kindly be escorted out by Taehyung and Namjoon. I'm sure they would be happy to listen to any complaints you may have," You tried to mask your sarcastic comment as much as you could while smiling at the older man. Your two most trusted security guards walked into the room and waited patiently for everyone to leave, ignoring their disgruntled grumbles as they made their way into the elevators at the end of the hall.

As soon as it was clear Areum let the twins into your office, smiling brightly as the two seven-year-olds sprinted over to you with huge smiles on their faces. 

"Mum!" They cried out as they wrapped their arms around you, you laughed softly as you wrapped your arms around both of them and took in a deep breath. Whenever they were away at their father's you missed them and it filled you with anxiety knowing you had no idea what they were doing while they were away.

"How was your time at your dad's?" You questioned them both, but Jae took the lead in explaining what they had been doing over the weekend. It wasn't that you and your ex-boyfriend didn't get along, it was just that your lifestyles were completely different from one another. While you were a big-time mafia businesswoman Yoongi was just a simple music producer/hacker. He wanted nothing to do with that side of your world which caused you to drift apart and out of love with one another. 

"He got us these cool looking swords, they light up whenever we clash them together! His new girlfriend got a puppy too!" Yeobin said excitedly, as she jumped up and down. Since she was five she'd been wanting to get her own dog which meant you knew what was going to come. All of the questions about if they could get one soon but your mind was lingering on the new girlfriend situation and as if she could read your mind Areum handed you a folder. 

"Everything on Miss Lee Nayeon we could find," She promised you, as you laid the folder down onto the glass table and smiled weakly. You hated being this overprotective in front of the twins, but when Yoongi was bringing someone you didn't know into their lives you had to be cautious. You did this with everyone you knew, including the scumbag that you were currently dating. Inside the folder were photographs of a brown-haired female that looked nice enough, her background check on her had come back clear, you trusted Yoongi enough to make his own decisions of course, but you still had to make your own up too.

"Anything new on San?" You questioned as the twins began to play on their own, running around your large office as they played in their imaginary worlds together. Choi San; The man you were currently dating...Or were dating and trying to figure out what to do with him. Areum nervously flipped through some files before sliding a red one in front of you. Inside were bank statements from your many accounts and then receipts of what San had been buying for himself and the mistress he had with him. 

"Is there enough on him yet?" Areum asked, as she sat down on a chair across from you. You stared through the folder while reading over everything he'd been doing. Yourself and San had only been dating for six months when you first started to notice what was going on and how confident he seemed to be at doing it. Slowly stealing money from you and trying to work his way up in the mafia game. You would have to be blind and stupid not to see what he was doing but you wanted to see how far he would take it. How far he was willing to go with everything that he was doing.

"Not yet...Do you have anything on Rose yet? All we have is this security photo from a mall." You mumbled as you turned over a photograph, she was a 5''0 bottle-blonde who seemed to be beautiful from what you could see in the photo. 

"Nothing yet, just that she does the same thing she did here everywhere she goes," Areum mentioned, as she pointed at the security photograph. Rose was known in most of the malls in and around Seoul for stealing high-end products. If she wasn't so bad at it and dating your boyfriend, you would have hired her to come and work for you. 

"I'll confront him when I have enough on him," You told her as you shut the folders and then slid them over to her, glancing over at the twins who were jumping up and down on the sofa. 

"How about we go and have lunch?" You called out to them as you stood up once again. The twins instantly jumped down from the sofa and began yelling out yes as they got ready to head out again. 

"Areum, do you want to join us?" Areum seemed shocked that you turned and asked her, but she was one of your favourite employees. She was always so loyal to you and you wanted to show her how much you respected her and her time with you. 

"Thank You," She whispered, as she got ready to join you and the twins for a day out in Seoul.

By the end of the night, the twins were asleep in the back of the Black BMW SUV that was taking all three of you home. Taehyung was driving while Namjoon sat up front to make sure no one was following you the usual thing he did whenever he was out with you. They were your two main trusted guards out of the four that you had, Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jungkook. All of them had been working for you for around seven years now and were your most trusted employees. 

"Long day?" Taehyung chuckled, as he pulled into the driveway in front of your house looking at the kids who were sound asleep. You hummed in response as you looked at the sleeping twins, not wanting to wake them up. They'd had a long day and you didn't want to wake them up only for them to get back to sleep in the house.

"Can you and Namjoon help them inside? I don't want to wake them up." You mentioned, as you glanced at Namjoon who was already looking at you in the mirror. He nodded his head in reply, happy to help with anything you needed. 

"Of course," He slid out of the front seat, and you looked up at the house still in awe that you even lived there. It was a huge mansion that had been passed down through your family for generations, given from your great-grandfather to his son and then eventually given to your mother. Mafia businesses ran in your blood, which meant even if someone wanted to overthrow you in the mafia world they would have a hard time doing so. It was also why so many people respected you in the industry, they knew not to fuck with you and you knew just what to do if anyone ever did. 

"Do you want us to check inside?" Taehyung questioned, as he picked up Yeobin and carried her in the direction of your front door, but you shook your head. If there was something wrong inside you would have known about it before now, but San was standing in the front door waiting for you with a huge smile on his face. 

"Welcome home," He whispered as you walked up to him, letting him kiss your cheek as you tried to brush off his affection and keep walking into the house. Taehyung and Namjoon took the kids up to bed while you looked around, the whole house was a mess and you wanted to scream out at San for it. He was supposed to be the one looking after the house while you were away but it seemed as though he hadn't done anything except make more of a mess. 

"I thought you were going to clean the spare office today?" You questioned calmly, as you walked past the bottom floor office to see boxes were still all over the place, along with dust all over the desk. 

"I was, but then I got busy." You rolled your eyes with your back turned to him, busy spending your money on the girl he was sleeping with behind your back no doubt,

"Busy with what? You don't work," You mentioned, as you turned to face him placing your hands on your hips as you waited for some kind of answer from him.

"I was having a job interview and I got the job...You're talking to a new and valued employee of Lee Industries," You smiled at him, doing your best to seem convincingly happy for him when you knew he was lying straight to your face. It was as if everything that ever came out of his lips was a lie and you had a human lie detector inside of your brain. The main reason you knew he was lying this time was that Lee industries wasn't hiring anyone, considering you'd bought them out last week and the CEO was now under your company. 

"That's great, what will you be doing for them?" You asked, as you took off your coat and went to hang it up on the porch. You wondered just how far he was going to take this job lie, but as soon as you saw the state of the porch you wanted to rip your hair out. It was even more of a mess than when the kids played in it as toddlers. Shoes and coats were left all over the floor as if he had no common decency to clean it up.

"I'm not sure yet, but I have a business meeting next week. I'll be away for a while, do you think the twins will miss me?" His question made you want to turn around and punch him in the face, but you resisted the urge and smiled once again. Turning to look at him as you thought about everything else he would be doing instead of what he was telling you he would be. 

"I'm sure they will, you know how much they love you." Another lie. The twins hated him. They told you multiple times what they thought of him and how they hated him. Which was why they were never allowed to be alone with him, that and you didn't trust him as far as you could potentially throw him. Whenever he was alone with the twins he was never truly alone, there would always be a guard or a babysitter with them at all times no matter what. Even if they were just inside of the house you wanted to make sure your children were protected at all times. They came first for you no matter what. 

"I'm feeling pretty tired, so I'm going to head to bed...Long day tomorrow," You told him, as he tried to come close to you and give you a kiss. He would do things like this whenever he could feel you distancing yourself. He would try to be more romantic or kind to you, but you knew what was really happening. San was just trying to use you as much as he could for everything you had. 

"Oh? What's happening tomorrow?" He questioned, as you both began to walk up to the bedroom. You smiled at Taehyung who was passing you on the landing, as he headed down to take the first shift in the house, he would be replaced later by Hoseok.

"I'm meeting with Jimin, you remember him right?" Your back was to San again and you smirked to yourself, you knew how much he hated your “friend” Jimin which only made you love him more. Jimin was a CEO of a company you always wanted but could never have so you kept him guarded. You made sure he was always well protected and had anything and everything he could need in case any other mafia families came sniffing around him. The mafia business was cutthroat, if you weren't protecting small and large businesses you were bringing in shipments of drugs or illegal cars to sell-off. Anything to earn the money you needed to get by, within life. 

"I do, but why just Jimin? Why not take a guard with you? What if he's planning something?" You could tell by the tone of his voice, he was getting angry at the thought of you meeting alone with another man, which made you laugh. While he was allowed to sleep around and be unloyal to you, you weren't allowed to do the same?

"He's a friend I want to have breakfast with, what's the big deal?" You didn't give him time to answer, as you locked yourself in the bathroom and switched on the shower. With the hopes that by the time you got out he would be asleep in the bed, or not in the room so you could pretend to sleep when he came back in.

The next morning you made sure to wake up earlier than usual so that you could clean the house, you didn't trust anyone enough to come and clean it for you. You got everything perfect before waking up the twins for private school and finally changing for your meeting with Jimin. You ignored San while he tried to be a loving boyfriend with you that morning, trying to give his input on what you should and shouldn't wear to your meeting with Jimin. You did whatever you pleased anyway, settling on a white tight-fitted office dress that clung to your body perfectly. It was showing off everything you wanted to show off, while not looking like you would appear on the front of a playboy magazine. Much to San's disapproval, you went out dressed that way and went to meet Jimin in one of the many restaurants that he owned in downtown Seoul.

"Thank you Jin," You whispered to Jimin's guard, as he opened up the glass door for you, letting you inside. He shut it swiftly behind you so that nobody else could go in after you. Jimin smiled as you walked into the empty restaurant, his eyes lighting up as soon as he saw you walking towards him. He'd had strong feelings for you for years, but he'd kept them a secret since you were a powerful woman and now you were in a relationship. But that didn't mean he couldn't be friends with you. It wasn't until recently that you had told him about your problem with San over an open bottle of wine. A couple of drinks later led to a drunken confession on both your parts, until you conspired on a plan to get San back for what he was doing to you. Opening his arms for you Jimin smiled brightly, watching as you rushed over to him to give him a huge squeeze. Cameras outside the large glass window flashed but the two of you ignored them, sitting down in front of one another as you got ready to speak. 

The cameras followed you everywhere, documenting your every movement which normally annoyed you. But today it would play in your favour, it meant that people would be mentioning you and Jimin were together and San wouldn't be able to escape from it. Although you and Jimin had to be friendly today, instead of cuddled up like you usually would be if you were alone, you knew this would push San into doing something messy. Which meant you could trip him up and confront him about everything he had been doing. You just needed enough to make him sweat, but not enough to ruin your reputation.

"How is our rat problem?" Jimin laughed as he poured you some tea and looked at you. He would have given anything to reach across and kiss you right now, but he knew what the plan was. 

"He's still a pain, but I think I'm close to getting him caught...I just need him to mess up, just once and I'll get him." There was one thing you couldn't do with San. Most of the transactions that were going out of your account and into his looked as though they were payments for something he was doing for you. Whether that be painting the house, or you simply paying him to be quiet about something you couldn't do anything about with the police. Not that you would need to involve the law since you owned most of the department but you liked to do everything legally...For the most part. Not counting for the illegal cars, drugs, weapons and shady dealings that you did. 

"Why don't you confront him, surely that would be better?" You sighed, as you took the small teacup from Jimin and sipped on it. Although it would have gotten you out of the relationship quicker there would be too many consequences for it. San knew too much of your personal and business life to just be let go, you needed something over him so that you could silence him into not talking about it all. 

"He knows too much..." Jimin glanced at you and he knew instantly what you meant. Much like San, Jimin knew everything too. He knew everything about your life and lifestyle including the twins who were kept out of the press and given fake names whenever they had to be mentioned in the business world. No one knew who they were, how old they really were or who their father was except for you, Jimin and San...And of course, Yoongi but that was it. Other than that it was kept silent and on a need to know basis.

"You could kill him," Jimin smirked as he looked at you raising his eyebrows at you, you shook your head at him choosing to ignore it as he teased you flirtatiously with the thought of it. 

"Nothing he's done has warranted it....yet." The two of you laughed together before ordering some food and catching up like old times.

"Do you know what I would give to lean across and kiss you right now?" You smirked at Jimin's question and shook your head wanting to know what he would do for it, 

"Sell your company to me?" You teased as he shook his head at you, 

"Maybe...Right now I'd give up anything to be able to hold you," You whined at him for doing this to you, he knew you wanted to be with him and him alone. Then you looked out at the window at the cameras, smiling and waving a little as you knew exactly who would be watching back home.

San stared down at Rose's laptop as he crushed the bagel he was supposed to be eating, your face was plastered everywhere he went, it was as if he couldn't escape from it. 

"I thought you said she was in the palm of your hand?!" Rose snapped as she looked at the photograph and Jimin hugging you. It looked more than friendly to her and it was ruining their plans with San. 

"She is, I have her giving me whatever I want. She doesn't even suspect anything," San mumbled, as he pushed the plate away from him and read through the article about you and Jimin. All of it splashed with facts about you and Jimin, how long you had been friends and rumours about how you could be dating.

"You're an idiot, you have to think of another way to get this money for us, Baby..." Rose turned on a whiney voice as she looked at San, her eyes getting watery as she waited for him to do something. 

"You promised me we would be married by now, no more stealing...Married to you with that mansion and the money." She was beginning to pout and whine like a spoilt teenage girl who wasn't getting her own way. Which she almost was since she was only 19 years old and dating someone ten years older than her, San smiled weakly at her as he nodded his head knowing what he had promised her. 

"We will princess...I promise. I need to come up with a new plan," He grumbled, as he looked at the laptop. A video was playing of you leaving the restaurant with Jimin, his arm linked around your waist as you threw your head back in laughter. 

"The new plan should be something with those bratty kids of hers, I don't want them in the house with us." She grumbled, while folding her arms over her chest. The original plan was for San to marry you and then you could mysteriously go missing, or die in a plane crash he would organise, but it was proving to be harder than that. San hadn't been able to propose to you since you'd only been dating for six months and he wasn't sure if it would look suspicious. 

"That's not a bad idea..." He said slowly, as he looked at Rose coming up with a plan in his head. He'd seen all of those kidnapping stories on the news, he could stage a kidnapping and get enough money for him and Rose to start up somewhere new together. Never letting on that it was him involved with the kids going missing, he would play along with you looking for them. Then finding them, before eventually ending the relationship when everything had calmed down and run away with Rose.

"You're a genius Rose," He called out excitedly as he kissed her roughly, pulling her onto his lap as he chuckled into the kiss.

A week later while San was on his "Business trip" you were standing in front of your office workers and guards in your office. There had been a breach in security that week with a story being leaked about just how close you and Jimin truly were with one another but you'd been able to stop it before it got out. 

"Furthermore, I want that person to know that if they ever do something like that again-" You stopped ranting when the door to your office sprung open, hitting the wall behind it to reveal a panting Areum covered in sweat. 

"Areum I'm in the middle of-" You tried to speak, but Areum cut you off quickly while shaking her head reaching for your desk as she tried to speak while catching her breath, 

"Y/n! Turn on the news," She didn't even give you time to move, she did it for you, ignoring the looks of disgust from everyone in your office as she turned the volume all the way up. A woman was standing on the screen with her face covered by a black balaclava and a script in her hand, 

"This is a live message for Y/n Y/l/n, we want to have our message displayed on every news channel she could see," The voice was monotone as they spoke into the camera. The only distinguishing features you could see about the girl was some false eyelashes poking out through the eye section of it. Whoever it was that was sending the message knew you would be watching, your name was constantly being monitored by those who worked for you so they could make sure no threats were happening but they'd clearly missed this one. 

"Find the signal." You ordered at Namjoon, who was already rushing over to the laptop with a scared look on his face. He was clicking through everything on the computer as he tried to find the source but it was being bounced from too many IP addresses, ranging from India to Indianapolis. 

"I want to tell you not to do anything dangerous or risky, don't call the police or any of your friends. We have your children and they will be returned to you if you do exactly what we say," Your heart sank, as the camera moved to reveal a dirty wooden door that was kicked open to show your kids tied up to a chair. Their mouths gagged with ties and their hands tied together with what looked like cable ties. The two of them stared at the camera terrified as they tried to scream out through the gags but they couldn't do anything.

"Namjoon!" You screamed through your cracking voice, trying to make him hurry before the broadcast ended but he was already moving as fast as he could. Areum was shuffling everyone out of the room as she tried to bring order to everything.

"We want 2.5Million won in untraceable notes," Areum was writing this all down on her small clipboard, while you watched the twins and everything around them. You were trying to determine if you knew anything inside of the room they were in, that might help you locate where they were, but you couldn't. There was nothing in the room beside a dirty bathtub that looked like it had never been cleaned, and a tub of brown hair dye on the counter, a knife and some dirty looking scissors. 

"We will be in contact with more details." The broadcast ended and you stared at Namjoon, who silently shook his head as a sign that they hadn't been able to trace the location of the broadcast. Screaming you threw the closest thing to you at the wall, which so happened to be your mobile and you whined.

"Areum ring Yoongi now, I want a full team looking for the location of that broadcast. Now!" You ordered, as you could feel yourself beginning to panic. The doors to your office opened again and Jimin was standing there with a team of people. His face was full of guilt as soon as he saw you but he knew just what to do,

"To help find them, I just saw the broadcast." He panted as he walked further into the room, bringing you into a hug as he could see how panicked about it you were. Kissing the top of your head he reassured you that it was all going to be okay,

"I'm right here, it's going to be okay." He whispered, as he sat you down on one of the sofas trying to bring you down but you kept running over everything that had happened that morning. The twins were in school, you were in a meeting by 10 am and you knew the kids wouldn't go with someone they didn't know and the private school would never let them out of class. 

"Someone must have gotten them on the way to school, someone who knows the route which means they're close to me," You told Jimin, who was already shaking his head at you, he'd already thought over all of this and had everyone he had on his side going through things. All he had to do was focus on getting you calmed down. You would be no use to them if you were panicked the whole time, they needed the boss bitch that ruled the business. 

"I know, I have my people going through your employee files but you need to breathe." He held onto your arms and made you stare into his eyes as he helped you through some breathing techniques. 

An hour later Yoongi was working alongside Jimin's men as they spent some time going over the broadcast images. Someone had been recording the entire thing making it easier for them to try and pinpoint anything in the video, but there was nothing there that could help. All anyone knew was it was some rundown looking hotel room or apartment that they were being held in and the kids looked unharmed for the time being. 

"Do you think it could be San?" Jimin questioned, as Yoongi came over to you and him on the sofa. You shook your head, taking the cup Yoongi was holding out for you to take. They were still trying to get you to calm down but since seeing the kids you hadn't been able to get calm, your mind was wandering in too many different directions with different outcomes. 

"He wouldn't have the balls or the brains to pull off something like this..." You whispered, as you looked at Jimin. You'd thought about it already, but you knew he'd gone to some fancy hotel with Rose that week since he was on a "business trip,"

"Any news?" Your eyes lit up as you stared at Yoongi but he shook his head, sitting down on the sofa and feeling defeated himself. There had been no calls or videos since the broadcast and you were starting to lose hope of any communication, 

"I'm sure-" Yoongi stopped speaking, when the news was turned up once again and the same person as before was standing on the screen. Yeobin was standing in front of her this time and the woman clutched onto your daughter's shoulder tightly enough, that Yeobin looked as though she was in physical pain.

"You will leave the required money amount in suitcases in the middle of Gangnam Station by 12 pm tonight before leaving the scene. If anything suspicious happens we won't hesitate to kill them," Yeobin moved a little and the woman pushed her down into the chair once again, ignoring the girl as she winced in pain.

"As a sign that we mean what we're saying-" The woman pulled out some scissors and began to cut off Yeobin's hair and then some of Jae's hair, before turning to the camera again and holding the scissors as if they were a knife this time. 

"For every moment you waste not giving us our money or trying to catch us we will cut off their ten fingers or ten toes until we have to get to the limbs." The broadcast ended and you stood up on your feet, your blood running hot. Dropping the cup onto the floor, you stormed over to your computer looking through your accounts for the money you could get. 

"Don't you think it would be better to track them?" Taehyung suggested, as he watched you going through everything. But you shook your head not wanting to waste any more time on tracking anyone or any signal that was being bounced around from place to place. 

"Not if it puts my children at risk. Areum. Get me every account I own, including the company ones." You mumbled, as you began clicking through everything. Yoongi joined you as he began to go through his own accounts to get the money together.

"Y/n."  Yoongi's voice sounded strained as he looked over at you. Areum, Jimin and yourself were counting out the money as you placed it into two suitcases, while Yoongi was on his laptop. He'd been spending the afternoon searching through everything he could on San provided to him from Areum behind your back. Although you had said you didn't think he would have the brains Yoongi didn't want to leave any stone unturned, 

"What's wrong?" You sniffled as you looked over at him, you'd been counting the money while crying at the thought of your kids. All you wanted was for them to be safe and at home where you could look out for them. 

"Where did you say San was?" The thought of Yoongi looking in on San after already telling him not to do so irritated you, but you shook your head. 

"With his girlfriend, he said business trip so he probably took Rose somewhere fancy with my money." You grumbled, as you went back to counting but this time Jimin looked up and frowned as he thought about it. 

"Don't you find it odd that they're away when your children go missing..." You shook your head at first, you thought it was weird. But you knew that San wouldn't have the guts to do something like this and you had been on the phone with him an hour ago. He was travelling home after seeing on the news what had happened, 

"He called me to tell me he was coming back tomorrow after he "cancelled meetings"...Why would he come back if he was the one that took them?" You asked. Yoongi began to dive deeper into the accounts that San had, finding secret accounts under different names including one under Choi Rose. 

"I think I know where they are." Your heart sank to your stomach, as Yoongi brought the laptop over to you with everything he had found on them. As soon as your eyes read over everything, the protective side of you took over and your blood began to boil once again. The mafia side of you was in control and no one would be able to stop you from doing what you wanted to do. 

"Jimin." You mumbled, as you grabbed your keys and looked at Yoongi and Areum, 

"Mind if we use your private cars?" A devilish smirk took over his face as he nodded his head with you,

"Only if I get to join in," You nodded, as you began to gather everything you needed for the mission. 

You had a team on the ground making sure that no one knew you were the ones leaving. You had someone keeping the money packing going as a backup plan, but you knew exactly where they were and what to do when you got to them. San hadn't been good at keeping his tracks hidden and Rose wasn't as good as she thought she was hiding a paper trail. Yoongi had been able to trace the fake hotel room San had booked, along with this one at the run-down motel. 

"Are you sure?" Namjoon asked, as you watched the motel that San and Rose were hiding out in. You'd followed San home from wherever he was to this dingy little motel in the middle of nowhere. You nodded at him before looking at Jimin and Yoongi, who were already carrying guns and enough ammo to take San and Rose out five times. Cars had surrounded the place and made sure all of the ground was covered so no one could get away.

"Move in slowly," Yoongi whispered into a mic, as your team of guards all surrounded the one motel room they were in, breaching it as soon as you gave the okay signal. 

"DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW!" A voice screamed out, making a woman squeal out in a high pitched scream. San looked over at the door and made a break for the window as soon as he laid eyes on you, but Taehyung was already standing on the other side pushing him back inside. 

"Where are they?!" You yelled out, while Namjoon and Taehyung tied up San and Rose sitting them on some chairs from inside the room. But it didn't take long for you to hear the muffled screams of your kids. 

The bathroom door was pulled open and Yoongi jumped around you to get to the twins, who were still tied up on a chair and sitting in the bathroom. As soon as you saw them you rushed over and began kissing all over their faces, removing the ties from their mouths as soon as you could while Yoongi cut the cable ties.

"Mummy is going to take care of everything, I promise you." You whispered as you looked at them. Tears were running down their faces and they looked terrified, which only made your blood boil more. No one messed with your family. All you could see was red as you thought about someone hurting one small hair on their heads.

"Yoongi, take them home. I don't want them around for what's about to happen." You mumbled, as you rose from your feet and walked back into the bedroom of the motel room to see Jimin staring at San. 

"Is he talking?" You questioned, as you walked over to Jimin. Standing beside him, you stared at Rose and then to San who was looking anywhere but at you. 

"Nothing. But you have your ways of getting them to talk," He smirked, as he nodded for his men to go with Yoongi and the kids. Leaving the two of you alone with the two kidnappers in front of you.

"I need somewhere to be alone with them, do you have anywhere around here?" You questioned Jimin, as you took off the blazer of your suit. Jimin shook his head. 

"No, but I'll buy the motel, don't worry about it, babe," As soon as the pet name left Jimin's lips,  San's head snapped around to look at both of you. You smirked along with Jimin. It felt good for it to finally be out in the open and you looked at San, as you saw the look of confusion and anger plastered across his face.

"What's wrong San? Did you think you were the only one who could cheat?" You chuckled, as he struggled against the cable ties. His face turning red as he looks at you both standing there together. 

"Did you really think you could get away with this?" Your question was genuine as you looked at him. You wondered how he thought he would be able to get away with something so moronic, like kidnapping your children away from you. 

"Did you really think, I'd just forgive and forget - I know everything you've been doing San," You took out the gun from your holster and cocked it back before taking off the safety. Just to show him that you were serious about this. 

"I was willing to let you go after catching you with her...You're nothing but a two-timing, cheap, lying wannabe." Jimin kept his eyes transfixed on you, as you looked at San with red in your eyes. It looked as though you were ready to murder him for everything he'd been doing to you, and Jimin would help you clean everything up. 

"I was going to let you go with everything, but you put my kids into it...You're a fool if you thought that I'd just let this go..." You smirked, as you took the gun in your hand and placed it against his left temple as you stood behind him. Enjoying the way sweat began to bead around his head and slowly fall down, struggling against your hand. 

"Gun to your head, now all I see is red!" You smirked, as you did nothing but hit him around the face with your gun, laughing when he spat out blood onto the floor. This time Jimin stepped forward and punched him in the jaw making San grunt out in pain but neither of you were going to stop what you were doing. 

"This was all her idea...She meant nothing to me Y/n!" He cried out as Jimin went to hit him again, your hand stretched out to stop Jimin as you laughed sarcastically. 

"Did you really just say she didn't mean anything?" He nodded, as blood dribbled down his chin and onto the floor. Looking up at you with pleading eyes as he tried to pass the blame onto somebody else. 

"You've been cheating on me with her since the start...Did you not think I knew everything that you've been doing?" You questioned, as you squatted in front of him. You pushed the gun against his chest, as you tried to remind him who you were and what you were threatening him with.

"You dug your grave now lie in it," You whispered to him, as you got up from the floor and pressed the barrel of the gun at the back of his head hard enough to leave an imprint, 

"Executioner style, and there won't be any trial don't you know you'll be better off dead..." Jimin knew that he wasn't supposed to be as excited by seeing this side of you as he was. But there was no lie that it was attractive to see you so passionate about something. 

"How did you do it?" You asked Rose, as she stared at you anxiously. Jimin was in the bathroom with San and all that could be heard was grunts of pain coming from San as Jimin questioned him. There wasn't a single mark on Rose though, as you sat across from her on the bed. San's blood on your white skirt from where you had shot him in the leg, when he lied to you for the sixth time that night. The two of you had been questioning them for the last five hours, but it was ultimately leading nowhere as you got nothing but lies from San and pleads from Rose. 

"How did I what?" She stuttered out, as she flinched at the sound of San yelling out in pain, 

"Don't worry about that, we won't hurt you. How did you get my kids out of school?" You were taking a calmer approach to Rose, as far as you could see she had done nothing on her own actions. It was all what San had told her to do and you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and let her explain it all while San wasn't in the room.

"San had me pose as your assistant...Told me to tell the school there was an emergency," That explained why her hair was so dark and why there had been dye on the sink in the broadcasted video.

"Why did you do it? Why go along with it knowing who I am?" You tilted your head to the side as you questioned her, but she started the tears, shaking her head violently as she tried to skip over it. 

"Now, now. No crocodile tears. Why did you take my children?" But she continued to annoy you as she sobbed hysterically, so you shot a warning shot into the ceiling and yelled at her, finally having enough of the innocent act. 

"I said no crying! Answer the question!" The tears instantly stopped and she stared up at you. Her eyebrows knitted together, as she admitted to everything she thought she and San would get away with.

"I wanted to overthrow you. We wanted to start our lives together with some money and a big house...Big business." You rolled your eyes at the thought of it, but at least now you knew how to make it harder on them both if you wanted them to live. 

Jimin dragged San out backwards on the chair and you smiled at him happily, you kissed Jimin on the lips softly before turning your attention to San. He stared up at you through swollen eyes. 

"Enough...I-I told you everything, will you just stop torturing him!" Rose pleaded as blood dripped from Jimin's knuckles, he'd clearly hurt himself when trying to get information out of San. So you wrapped it up with one of the cloth ties that had been used on your children. 

"I'll get you some ice later babe," You promised as you kissed him again, turning back to Rose,

"I will but...There is one more thing," You whispered to them both as you looked at San, 

"Run....hide, do whatever you want as long as it's not in South Korea..." You took in a deep breath, as you looked over at Rose and then to San once again. Trying to think of a way to make your message as clear as day to them both.

"You're so done, you better sleep with one eye open every night...If you take one step into South Korean again I'll have you killed on the spot..." The two of them shivered as you stood up and turned to leave. But you turned back around, not wanting them to get off so lightly, tutting to yourself you looked at each of them.

"In fact...If you even so much as stay together in one country I'll have you killed...That means San in one place and little Rosebud here in another. Do I make myself clear?" Neither of them did something to acknowledge that you had spoken, so you slapped San across the face with your gun making him whimper out, 

"I asked if I made myself clear?" He nodded his head, before spitting blood out onto the floor and looking away from you and Jimin walked over. 

"I'll call someone in to clean up and I'll meet you back at your place?" You nodded, before kissing him softly and walking out of the motel to see Taehyung standing with Hoseok and some of Jimin's men. You knew they'd been waiting for you both to finish up before they cleaned up so you looked at them. 

"Ready to head back?" Hoseok questioned as he looked at his watch. It was getting close to 4 am but he knew the kids were waiting up for you to come back if Yoongi would let them. 

"There's one thing I have to do first," You mumbled, as you got into the back of a black SUV and began looking through your phone.  Hoseok told you it would be his pleasure to help with anything.

Walking into the house you found Yoongi asleep on the sofa, with your daughter and son on him, their heads resting on either of his thighs. They must have fallen asleep while waiting for you to come back. Jimin looked at you as you bent down to kiss Yeobin and Jae on the head and then he hugged you from behind, 

"Do you think they'll be okay?" You questioned, as you watched them all sleeping together, Jimin nodded as he kissed your shoulder softly. The one thing you'd been most worried about was that they would be affected mentally by what had happened to them. 

"I think they're just like you, strong-minded. They'll be fine," He reassured you, as he kissed you again, stopping when he heard Yoongi waking up and looking over at you both. He smiled when he saw you standing there together glad you were back from the small trip.

"Everything taken care of?" Yoongi was afraid of the answer he was going to get, but he needed to know no one was going to hurt his children again. You nodded at him as you sat down on the coffee table across from him, never taking your eyes off the kids. 

"Where are they?" He was nervous that you were going to tell him that the pair were dead, but you looked up at Jimin who simply smiled at you before rubbing your shoulders softly and explaining where the pair were to your ex. 

"Taehyung is on his way to England with San while Namjoon is taking a trip with Rose to Australia, they'll be busy for a while...Never allowed to come back," Jimin assured Yoongi and you smiled weakly. Part of you knew you should have killed them for what they did, but you knew it would be wrong on so many levels and there would be lots of questions from the police. Even if you did own half of the station, it didn't mean you could go around murdering whoever you wanted without consequences. Yoongi looked at the time and then back at you. 

"It's almost morning, where were you?" You nodded over at two crates in the living room and smiled at the thought of what was sitting inside of them. You'd asked Hoseok to give you a quick detour on the way back to pick up the presents you'd been saving for the twins, 

"I got them dogs each...T-They were asking for a while and I figured what better way of saying sorry you got kidnapped, then buying them a dog," You mumbled sarcastically as Jimin walked over to the puppies and let them out. Two identical black labrador puppies coming out shyly as they sniffed around their new home. Yoongi's eyes widened as he stared at the puppies before he stared at you, 

"I had this planned for a while but I thought I would give the puppies to them early..." Yoongi laughed softly, as he carefully got up from the sofa letting the twins sleep as he greeted the puppies on the floor. Stroking them softly as he tried to get them to look around on their own.

"Will you be okay?" Jimin questioned, as he sat down on the coffee table beside you, your eyes glued to the twins as you thought about the question. 

"Maybe...If I had someone to stay with me while I stayed home for a while," You looked up at him and he smiled at the thought of it. The two of you had been together long enough for you to move in together but you'd not have the chance until now to ask him. 

"Is this your way of asking me to move in with you..." He raised his eyebrow up at you.

"Maybe it is," You answered shyly, as you glanced back at the kids and back to him, 

"Then maybe this is me saying yes," He whispered to you, before kissing your lips softly and smiling happily to himself. 

"We should put them to bed, it's almost 6 in the morning," Yoongi whispered, as he noticed the twins starting to stir. But before any of you could move to get the twins to bed, Yeobin was awake and staring at the puppy that had jumped onto her chest. 

"Little late for that," You laughed as she let out a loud squeal of excitement, looking at you and then to the puppy wondering if it was a dream or not. Jae mumbled as he rolled over to shut his sister up before letting out a small gasp as he saw a matching dog next to hers.

"I think it's time we had breakfast," You called out, as you looked at the twins who seemed happy with their dogs and that they were home safe and sound. 

"I'll cook with you," Jimin hummed, leaving Yoongi and the twins together with their puppies as you got breakfast ready for everyone. As a big and happy family, making sure to cook enough for all your guards you knew had been working hard since last night. 

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @sweeneyblue1 @sw33tnight @innersooya @jin-from-the-block @acciocriativity @that-anxious-bisexual​

[fleetingpieces]

My Two in a Million

Hold your horses, I finally finished writing something! I know it's probably not what you expected and it's definitely not one of my best works, but I feel that if I don't post it now, I will never get out of the slump.

So apologies in advance and I hope you enjoy it a bit anyway! <3

Thank you so much for being so patient with me :)))

Thanks to @knittingdreams @donttouchmycarrots @inloveoknutzy and @asunshinepuff for all your help, love you guys <3

Ao3

Characters belong to @lumosinlove !

Chapter 1

“Lily, why the hell are we out here?” Logan asked, wrapping his arms around himself. He glanced around the hall at the other party guests that were milling about—all of whom had costumes more fitting for the cool weather—and grumbled as he leaned against the wall, a hiss escaping his lips when the cold material touched his bare back.

Lily glanced at him, amused. “It’s not my fault you chose to show off your body when it’s fucking freezing outside.”

“No, it’s Finn’s. He had it stuck in his head that we just had to wear sexy costumes,” Logan rolled his eyes; though he couldn’t deny that he’d been more than happy when he first saw Finn that night. His breath had completely left his lungs when the redhead had stepped out of the bathroom wearing a Spartan costume, smiling like a little kid at his fake sword, his firm abs on display, a familiar trail of red hair disappearing under the wide belt and—

Logan gulped and tried to remember that he was at a party full of people, willing his mind not to think about how he’d felt. Or about how much he was dying to get Finn out of that damn skirt.

“Still, that doesn’t explain why we’re out here instead of inside, where it’s warmer and I could be in my half-naked boyfriend’s arms.”

“Just bear with me, ok? It shouldn’t be long now.”

Logan sighed; he knew better than to try to argue with his friend. “So how’s your business going?” he asked instead.

“Oh, it’s great!” Lily replied, her face lighting up with a smile. “We received a shipment of rare books today, there’re a few that I’m sure Finn would love. I will separate a few—” she stopped in the middle of her excited explanation as she looked towards the elevators, her smile going wider. “Remus!” she yelled and, without another word, pushed against the wall to walk ahead.

Frowning, Logan grumbled and followed behind a moment later. Had she been waiting for someone? Perhaps this meant that he could go back inside and get out of the cold. Halfway there, he looked to see who Lily had called for, noticing two people waiting but focusing mainly on one of them as his eyes fell on a long set of legs. Damn, this guy is huge, he thought as his gaze wandered slowly up the dark ripped jeans and comfy looking jumper.

The guy jumped slightly and dropped some keys he was holding. Logan didn’t get to see the face under the mop of blond hair as he bent to pick them up, but noticed how red his neck was and chuckled softly.

Cute.

Then the boy straightened up and Logan almost choked on his laugh as their gazes locked. His eyes were the bluest he’d ever seen, like staring at an open sky, contrasting with the blush on his cheeks—whether from the cold or from embarrassment, Logan wasn’t sure. He seemed slightly guarded, which made Logan cock his head wondering why. As a few more seconds passed and he didn’t break eye contact, some of the tension left the boy’s shoulders, the corner of his mouth lifting up in a shy smile as he ruffled his hair, the gesture going straight to Logan’s gut.

Shaking his head, he focused on the floor as he reached Lily’s side. The man standing next to the blond—Remus, most likely—was talking with Lily, but Logan could barely process what they were saying in the middle of the turmoil that was his head. With great effort, he tried to keep his eyes down, but his gaze kept wandering back to blue.

He was pulled out of his musings when Lily placed a hand on his shoulder and tilted her head towards the tall guy who, Logan noticed, had his eyes now trailing down Logan’s arms. “Hi, I’m Lily and this is Logan,” she said with a smile.

The blond —Logan cursed himself for not catching his name— gave him a sheepish wave and another small smile, and Logan found himself returning it as a tingling sensation spread through his body, starting from his mouth and going down to his toes.

“Salut! Are you guys joining the party?” he asked hopefully.

“Ah, sorry, but well… we don’t really have costumes,” Remus replied and the other guy turned to look at him with a scowl. It looked like he wanted to argue with his...friend? Logan had no idea what they were. Or who they were, for that matter.

But he kinda wanted to.

“Costumes are not mandatory. C’mon, I promise you’ll have fun,” Lily turned pleading eyes to Remus.

The newcomers glanced at each other, an unspoken conversation being held between them. Taking a sip from his drink, Logan stared at the floor again and, when he looked back up, the blond had his head tilted down, his bottom lip jutting out, eyes big and begging and blue, and it was so fucking adorable that Logan almost spat out his rum.

He turned to the side and coughed discreetly just as Remus gave in and Lily started happily guiding them into the apartment.

All the way there, Logan kept wanting to ask for the guy’s name as they stole glances at each other, but he didn’t want to show just how little attention he’d been paying. Or maybe where his attention had been. Once inside, they were welcomed by the much needed heat, low lights and a playlist that was without a doubt put together by Talker. Natalie, Marlene and a few other people were dancing to the beat, but Logan knew where he would find most of the gang: in the living room, exactly where they’d left them.

The thought of who would be waiting for him there felt like a bucket of cold water thrown in his face, making him falter in his step. What the fuck had he been thinking? Frowning, Logan hid his tightly closed fists inside his pockets, waiting a few steps back while Lily filled two cups with some orange beverage and handed them over to Remus and his companion.

As soon as they stepped into the living room, his sight landed on Finn playing against Thomas and Kasey, his wild auburn hair falling into his eyes, completely focused on the task at hand as he tapped buttons and whooped when he managed a combo.

Finn.

Logan made a bee-line for him, desperate to feel his boyfriend’s warmth, have him close after the jarring emotions that had assaulted him just now. He also left his cup at the table for good measure—maybe he’d been drinking too much.

Burrowing into his boyfriend’s side, he tried to leave as little space between them as possible, which made Finn chuckle and shiver slightly.

“Honey, you’re freezing,” he said as he nudged him with his head.

“Blame Evans. She forced me to stay out so she could wait for her friend.” His thoughts went back to the other person that had come with them, but he avoided the urge to look for him.

“Friend? Who was it?” Finn asked, not taking his eyes away from the screen as suddenly James’ character stood still and they started losing. “Pots, focus!”

“Someone named Remus? I have no idea.”

“Wait, no no no!” Finn screamed and punched the buttons harder, but James was not helping at all and they were both knocked out. “Oh, come on!” Everyone laughed as Finn threw the controller on the table and turned to playfully glare at Lily, who was sitting on James’ lap. “Lily, what did I tell you? Don’t distract him when he plays on my team!”

“Stop crying and pay up, O’Hara!” Kasey grinned and high-fived Thomas.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re just lucky Lily was on your team as well,” Finn mumbled but threw the twenty bucks in their direction before turning to Logan with a smile. “Hey baby.”

Next thing Logan knew, there were lips pressed against his. He smiled into it, bringing a hand up to brush Finn’s hair out of his face, letting the feel of his body ground him again.

As they pulled apart, he caught the blond guy staring, their eyes meeting only for a second before the boy looked away. His jaw was set in a hard line, so different from the expressions he’d shown Logan out there, and suddenly he was flooded with guilt at the pull that kept tugging in two different directions.

He felt completely thrown off. His feelings for Finn were as strong as ever, but he was still very intrigued by this other person. There was something that made him want to talk with him more, ask about his life, check if those long arms could envelop him whole as it seemed. To just go over there and introduce him to Finn.

What kind of shitty person was he?

“Everyone,” Lily said then, grabbing everyone’s attention, “these are Remus and Leo. Remus is Sirius’ new neighbour, so be nice to them!” She pierced them with her best and-if-you-don’t glare that all of them knew well, making some of the guys gulp.

Leo, Logan thought. It fit him, somehow.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Remus said.

“Hello,” Leo smiled brightly at whoever was sitting to their right and Logan felt Finn freeze for a second as the corner of his mouth lifted in a silly smile.

Well, at least he knew Finn found Leo attractive as well.

His boyfriend turned to him, tilting his head to the side. “I’ve run into that Remus guy in the hall before, but who is that?”

“His friend?” Logan said, trying not to sound too interested. “I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like they live together.”

“Yeah, no, I mean… I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere?”

Logan frowned. “I don’t think I saw him in the building before. I would remember someone that tall.”

“Oh baby, are you grumpy cause you hurt your neck when you looked at his face?” Finn teased as he petted Logan’s hair.

“Shut up, I’m not that much shorter than you.” Logan crossed his arms over his chest, turning his face away from Finn.

The stupid ass laughed and kissed his temple, which admittedly always managed to make Logan melt and lean into him, but he still made a ‘hmph’ sound, pulling another laugh out of Finn.

While both of them were distracted, the rest of the guys started setting everything up to play a new game which Remus seemed interested in. And then, out of nowhere, Sirius was asking Remus to play with him.

Finn and Logan looked at each other, wondering what the hell Sirius was up to. It was rare for him to want to play with some random guy, especially when most of the people in the room already had a hard time beating him. They even had a bet going about who would be the first to get five wins over Pads and so far, no one had managed it. Remus had absolutely no chance against someone that did this for a living.

But as it turned out, it was a very heated competition that had everyone watching closely. Logan wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen Sirius like that. He could tell he was focused, yes, but he was also excited, even if he was hiding it on the outside. In the end, Remus kicked Sirius’ ass.

“Yes!” both Remus and Leo yelled and then hugged, laughing. Leo put a hand on the back of Remus’ head and bumped their heads together. The gesture showed just how close they were, how comfortable they felt with each other, but what really had Logan’s attention was that wide, unbelievably happy smile that showed off his—

“Finn...dimples,” he whispered, though probably not as quietly as he should have, given the way Kasey snorted.

That in itself wasn’t a weird thing to say. Finn and Logan were open with each other. They talked about everything and had no secrets between them, because talking with Finn was as easy as breathing, and as vital too.

Logan trusted Finn. With his whole heart.

He knew he could talk to him about other guys that he found attractive and that Finn could do the same, ‘cause they weren’t possessive or so blinded by jealousy that they couldn’t separate things. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d had a talk like that either.

This was different though.

It’d been a very long while since Logan had been struck like this. Probably since the first time he’d laid eyes on Finn; he’d had no words to describe the feeling at that moment either. But there was something about those blue eyes and the way he’d held Logan’s gaze, about that shy but steady demeanour. And that smile.

Fuck, that smile.

Logan didn’t even know him, and he already knew that he’d love that grin here or in any other universe. And just how fucking weird was that?

Maybe he could ask Leo to play a game with him next, get to know him, make him feel comfortable. But he couldn’t get his attention, Leo’s gaze kept evading him, and Logan felt something like dread at the possibility that Leo might be doing it on purpose.

He didn’t get much of a chance anyway. After a bit of teasing about Padfoot, Remus stood up to defend him before trailing off in the middle of his speech, a faraway look on his face. Then he rushed out of the room, leaving a tense silence behind and Leo staring helplessly after him.

Lily was the first one to approach him, placing a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I… I will go check on him,” he smiled sadly and nodded to the room in general. “Thank you for inviting us.” And with that, he exited without a second glance back.

Logan wasn’t sure how he should feel about this kind of departure, or at the realisation that he might not see Leo again. Maybe it was a good thing; if his emotions could get stirred just by some glances, what would it be like if he actually got to know him?

Perhaps it was better to leave things as they were.

***

Shit shit shit shit.

It was late. Leo was so, so late.

He skidded around the corner and took the next hall at a light run, trying to avoid the other students, which luckily weren’t that many. Of course, he thought bitterly, that’s probably because other people manage to get to their own classes on time.

He still wasn’t sure what had happened, he was convinced he’d set his alarm for today, but clearly he hadn’t or he wouldn’t be running. His commute was quite long as it was, which meant that if he missed the train—like today—he was inevitably late unless a miracle happened.

Maybe he should really take Remus up on his offer to move in with him. It would also mean spending more time with his best friend, since between attending classes, doing homework and the time it took to get back home, he didn’t have many opportunities to see him lately. But there was no way Leo could afford that flat, and he didn’t want to take advantage of Remus.

Finally, he reached the door to his classroom and, after allowing a few seconds to let his breathing go back to normal, he went in as quietly as possible. The Professor had her back turned to him, so he quickly scanned the room and sat at the nearest empty seat, at the very back.

Sighing in relief that he didn’t seem to have missed too much, he opened his bag and took out his copy of Pride and Prejudice and the rest of his stuff. He was in such a hurry to catch up with the class that he knocked his pencil off the table, sending it rolling on the floor. Cringing at the sound it made, Leo bent to pick it up, only to find that another hand was already there.

He leaned back, blinking at the hand offering his pencil back, then followed the lines of the arm under the green, long-sleeved shirt, up to a familiar face and there Leo had to do a double-take.

Straightening up, he raised his eyebrows, making Finn laugh, his smile lifting to the side as he waved the pencil between them.

“Um, thanks,” Leo whispered, taking it and turning back to his notes with a frown.

Had he and Finn always shared a class together?

Since this was a course he was only taking for credits, Leo didn’t know many faces here and was usually so enthralled by the lecture that he didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings.

Finn hadn’t shown any signs that he’d recognised him at the Halloween party a week ago either. Though, if he was being honest, Leo had especially tried to avoid looking at them after he’d seen him hugging and kissing Logan.

Ugh, that memory… it’d been on his mind more than he cared to admit.

Leo didn’t want to think about how stupid he’d felt that night. He’d been shocked the first time he saw Logan, how his costume showed off his shoulders and thighs, the way he carried himself, the slight pout of his lips as he made his way towards them.

He didn’t want to think about how Logan’s eyes had started travelling up his body, making him panic and act like a fool. Or how despite that, Logan had also seemed a bit shy and fucking adorable and damn it, Leo had thought he was interested in him. But then they’d gone into the flat and Logan all but ran to Finn’s side, and Leo was left feeling like the biggest idiot in the whole damn world.

He hadn’t stayed for long after that. Worried as he was about Remus, he’d followed him shortly after he’d left and hadn’t talked with anyone else at the party. He’d thought that’d be the end of it. It was weird now to sit next to Finn when he’d been checking his boyfriend out just a few days ago.

The sound of a pencil tapping against wood brought Leo back from his musings. He peeked to the side and caught Finn with his chin perched in one hand, the other playing with the thin stick at a high speed. Leo followed the movement, back and forth, back and forth, and then up as Finn raised his hand and brought the pencil to his mouth, the bottom end tugging his pink lip down and then letting go.

The rest of the room quieted down as Leo stared. There was something about the way Finn held the pencil in his long fingers, how the sun coming in from the window seemed to hug him, the specs of dust dancing in the air by his head. How his eyes looked brighter and the strands in his hair lit up like fire.

Finn looked like warmth.

Something like a chill ran down Leo’s back and he quickly averted his eyes.

Though he couldn’t keep them away for long. Apparently, Finn was one of those people that couldn’t sit still and, now that Leo’d noticed, he couldn’t ignore every little movement coming from him, his bouncing leg, how he shifted in his seat and that damn tapping again.

He tried to pay attention to class, he really did, but he was so aware of the boy sitting just a few inches away, that his eyes kept going back to him and all those little movements.

Not able to take it any longer, Leo leaned in and placed a hand on top of Finn’s, feeling him going still under his touch. “Stop it,” he whispered, their eyes locked. The other boy didn’t say anything, just glanced between Leo’s eyes and their joined hands.

Blushing, Leo pulled away and tried to focus on the front of the room, the heat from Finn’s hand still tingling at the tip of his fingers.

Stop this right now, Leo scolded himself. He has a boyfriend.

A boyfriend that he’d also felt attracted to. What the hell was wrong with him?

Determined to keep his mind out of troublesome boys, he managed to listen and take notes for about ten minutes. But then he felt eyes on him. He pretended not to notice as Finn kept stealing glances, no doubt trying to be inconspicuous about it, but, apparently, Finn was as subtle as a flying brick.

The thought tugged a smile out of Leo, who quickly schooled his expression back to one of polite interest. You just grabbed his hand out of nowhere, of course he’s staring, he sighed.

At the end of the class, the teacher wrote a list of things on the board and turned to face them. “This assignment will be the first big one you’ll have, and it will determine 10% of your score, so don’t slack off! Pair up before you go and remember, your deadline is in two weeks.”

There were a few groans at the prospect of having to do something in pairs, but everyone started gathering their things anyway and talking with each other, already forming their teams.

A nudge on his shoulder made Leo look to his left and then he had to fight the urge to jump back. Finn was leaning towards him, that crooked smile on his face again and, this close, Leo could see the freckles sprinkled over his nose and cheeks.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, a light blush colouring his face when he realised Finn had said something but he hadn’t listened.

Finn’s head tilted a bit to the side, the other corner of his mouth going up too. “I said, do you want to pair up with me?”

“Oh,” was all Leo could reply. He imagined working together for hours, maybe alone in a secluded part of the library… How would he ever concentrate on their work if he couldn’t even pay attention in class when they were sitting next to each other? On the other hand, Finn seemed like a nice guy and surely Leo had enough self control to keep a cool head. Just because he was slightly attracted to him it didn’t mean that things would escalate further, especially not when he knew nothing could ever happen.

“I mean, if you already have someone—” Finn started when Leo didn’t reply for a while.

“No, no, sorry. Yeah, that would be nice,” he smiled.

“Sweet. Are you free right now? My next class is in the afternoon, so we could go back to my place and get started, if you want.”

“That…” Leo hesitated, but then hardened his resolve. He could be friends with Finn, right? It would be nice to make new acquaintances at school and there was always the chance that he might see him and Logan again at Remus’ building. He could forget about one or two silly crushes, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d had to do it.

“That sounds good.”

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Of Monsters and Men

Chapter 2- Lay Me in the Sun

Summary: You’ve spent the past handful of years with your Witcher throughout your travels around the Continent. After a hunt, you’re all he wants.

Warnings: smut, fluff, Geralt being a hottie

-Part of my OMAM series that I’m working on, this is right before the happenings of the Witcher season 1, which is in the next chapter

Masterlist

You are currently sprawled out upon the vibrantly green summer grass, enjoying the softness of your living bed as a warm breeze brushes past your skin. You had hacked at a tree with your sword for about an hour and a half to let off some steam until you got too bored and sweaty. You then went for a refreshing dip in the nearby river before lounging in the afternoon sun where you happen to be right now.

Geralt has been off all day on the hunt for some subspecies of troll while you've been chilling with Roach by the river. He didn't seem keen on having you come with him this time, so instead you let him have his "me time", odd way to call hunting and hacking off a trolls head "me time" but it's Geralt so you didn't press any further. He just likes doing his thing by himself at times and considering how nice a day it is, let him.

You've been his travel companion for a good handful of years now, which delightfully has resulted in that of a strong romantic relationship with your fearsome Witcher. He keeps himself as a big scary badass with a look that could send you running for the hills, according to all the people of the continent that you've both met. But to you he's the most gentle, funny, loyal, and protective lover you've ever had, quit the opposite of what the villagers think of him.

He listens to you and cares so much about if your happy around him, which you always tell him yes. He needlessly worries that he's too much or too little for you, that maybe he doesn't show how much he truly loves you often enough. But you have grown to understand that he speaks his love language through his actions and how he looks at you, as you've found this better then any amount of words on a man's tongue could possess. And it's just how Geralt shows his affection towards you, as he's never been a mushy kinda guy who will flatter you with his abundance of compliments. Which you never have minded, in fact it would send you howling with laughter at the thought of Geralt singing you a song about your beauty compared to that of a flower. Now that would be quit the scenario.

Laying your head upon the pads of your hands, you close your eyes, letting yourself sink into the comfort of the tall grass as you enjoy the sounds of rushing water over the river rocks, that is, until a foul stench reaches your nostrils. Your face contorts into an unpleasant grimace at the nasty scent of something recently deceased coming your way. Then another more familiar smell reaches your nose and you know exactly who it is. If his disgusting smell didn't already confirm his identity it would be his heavy footfalls onto the soft earth, disrupting your peaceful afternoon snooze that you get so rarely.

Suddenly the footsteps get louder until they suddenly stop near your boot covered feet, as a shadow blocks the sun from reaching your face. You slowly open your eyes to behold the sight of your Witcher who is very visibly covered in something that is definitely not guts. But most certainly came from said guts of some unlucky creature.

"What threw up on you this time?" You ask, as he's about to give you a probable vividly disturbing answer, you hold your hand up to shush him.

"You know what, never mind."

He laughs at that as he slings something off the side of his shoulder, without warning the grotesque decapitated head of a rock troll slumps to the grass with a thud. The nasty fucker staring blankly into your ruby colored eyes while it's pale tongue slides out of its mouth, black inky bubbles of blood and saliva seeping out from its slacked jaw. You hiss at it before briskly gliding up into a standing position where you then take a few steps back.

"What the fuck Geralt! I was having a very nice and relaxing moment before you dropped that nice little present way too close for comfort." You sass at him while you fold your arms over your chest, he simply smiles, amused that he's annoyed you.

"You don't like my gift?" He muses with a cocky smirk upon his dirty face.

"Maybe if I was an orc, you got the wrong species, love. Uh, but hey...good work on not getting eaten alive."

"Whatever it takes to come back to you." He quips, you rolling your eyes at his adorable sarcasm.

"Alright troll slayer, I think you should take a dip in the river. I mean what is even on you it looks like brown chunks of....oh god is that cow?" You grimace in disgust once again, every so slightly leaning into him to take a better look at what's actually coating his leather armor.

"I truly have no idea. And I will take your kind suggestion lest we have wolves hunting us in the wee hours of the morning, like little angry ghosts." He replies with a nod before walking past you and stripping himself of his black leather armor.

He drops it in the grass as he quickly pulls his dark under shirt over his head where he promptly abandons it by a nearby rock. You don't even realize how hard core you're staring at him right now while you subconsciously bite your lower lip as your gaze travels from his bare shoulders to his chiseled torso. He's got an abundance of scars in various parts of his body and his muscles are as hard as stone. This is nothing you haven't seen before but still, Geralt knows how to put on a show, whether he knows he's doing it or not.

He slides his boots off and as he's casually unbuttoning his trousers does he finally look up to catch your lustful gaze. He smirks as you stare on boldly at his half naked self, a blissfully dumb smile upon your face.

"I could think of a couple ways we could spend the evening and right now my love you are just...a lot." Geralt keeps eye contact with you as he continues to unbutton his pants, he slides them down his god-like body until he's finally standing in the summer evening as naked as the day he was born.

He gives you a charming smile before turning and walking into the river to clean himself off of all the troll innards. He goes beneath the water before resurfacing once again, in the meantime you sit yourself onto the river bank and smile to yourself at the delicious sight of your glistening Witcher while he washes himself clean of all puke, blood, sweat, and whatever else is coating his skin. Suddenly all goes quiet and you can't see him above the water anymore, but you can see how his form is on a path for your legs that are dangling in the river. Quickly you pull your legs from the rushing stream just as Geralt resurfaces directly in front of you.

"You were not about to drag my ass into the depths, these are my only dry clothes." You halfheartedly whine, a small chuckle escaping you as Geralt rests his muscled arms upon the riverbank.

"Then take them off." He gives you an inviting look as you raise an eyebrow at his boldness.

He just smiles adoringly at you from the riverside, silently begging you to shed your clothing to come join his bum in the water. With a shake of your head, you stand up and tug off both of your boots, throwing them near Geralt's armor. Then you peel off your loose grey top that was conveniently all that was covering your top half from the eyes of the world. You look down at Geralt who's golden eyes have not left your body once, a giant blissful smirk playing at the corner of his soft lips as you give him a show.

You throw him a wink before sensually unlacing your pants, those things abruptly falling to the grass in a black puddle at your feet. You stand naked above him on the river bank like a water nymph in all her alluringly bewitching beauty. Playfully teasing him as you dramatically stretch in the warm sunlight, he watches as your arms reach for the clouds, your breasts lifting with the movement. You look absolutely radiant, a goddess come to earth that could make the very stars jealous with your dazzling features.

Your eyes lock with his and without warning you launch yourself over Geralt's snowy head, intent on making a large splash in the process, just to tease him. When you resurface he's rubbing the water from his eyes, you casually swim over to him, a cheeky grin adorning your wet face. Once he's gotten the water out of his eyes he lowers himself into the river until all you can see is his shoulders and his handsome face.

"All clean now?" You ask, tilting your head down to blow some river bubbles.

"Remarkably." Quips your Witcher with a low chuckle.

"Good...now you can take me on the grass of the riverbank, right in front of Roach." You state bluntly, Geralt's golden eyes widening in pleasant surprise as your face suddenly breaks out into a fangy grin.

"She's seen too much already." He jests, nodding in her general direction as she obliviously nibbles away at the grass.

"She's seen worse." You add.

"Fair point." Replies Geralt with a casual shrug.

You lower your face into the water, bringing it back up just as quickly before you spit a line of cold water right onto Geralt's cheek. He shuts his eyes as he takes your assault like a champ, letting you have your fun for the time being cause in a couple minutes he'll have you screaming his name into the afternoon breeze. Once all the water has left your mouth do you finally stand up and glide over to your patient lover. He watches you the whole time, keeping his sights onto your beaming face, although he's not unnoticing of how the water only conceals your bellybutton and your delightful treasure below.

"Hopefully no one stops by for a drink." You state with a small laugh as you stand in front of him.

He looks down at you with a soft smile gracing his kissable lips, you raise your hand up and let it trail down the side of his arm in a casually intimate gesture. He watches in content silence as you touch the skin of his scarred forearm, all the way down until you reach his hand where you then open your palm out for him to take. He does so without question, knowing exactly what your intended plans are for the both of you next. With a seductive bite of your lip, do you lead Geralt to the side of the river bank were your little camp is set up.

You let go of his hand and lift yourself up onto the soft grass where you stood not even five minutes ago. As you're seated, you turn around to face Geralt who's doing the same. You quickly bite the inside of your cheek when your eyes are known to the delicious sight of is hardened member glistening in the beams of sunlight through the nearby trees. He falls to his knees as he crawls over to you in the grass. When he reaches your closed bent legs he gives you a pleading look. Asking for your permission to continue, you smirk at him and slowly part your legs to his great delight.

You lean back on your elbows as his large form covers you from the sun, his hands land on either side of your face as his member grazes against your inner thigh. He's instantly attacking your lips in a heated embrace, pulling a moan from your lips as he takes this opportunity to stick his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues dancing in the darkness, he carefully leans himself onto one forearm as his other hand travels down the side of your body where he then parts your legs further apart for better access.

You can feel as he guides his cock to your slick entrance likes he's done this a hundred times before. Once he's found his mark does he then slowly push into you, you let out a breathless gasp at the uncomfortable sensation sliding into your wetness. He lifts his face a couple inches from yours to make sure you're doing okay and that he isn't hurting you too much. You look into his concerned eyes as you try to hide your slight discomfort, you've done this so many times before, it's just Geralt can be a lot to handle and you need a second.

Leaning up to give him a chaste kiss you find his eyes once again as a blissful smile appears onto your stunning face. Confirming that you've adjusted accordingly and it's time to pick up the pace. He ever so carefully does he thrust into you once again, starting off slow so you can prepare yourself for when he goes faster. Your hands claw at his muscular back as his head falls to your shoulder.

"I'm not a fragile maiden, fuck me Geralt...I can take it." You practically growl in his ear, sending chills down his spine as a cocky smile appears onto his handsome face.

"You're ready now?" He teases as he pecks you on the cheek, you turn to glare at him.

"Shut up, let's make a goddamn dent in the side of this bank." You rasp out as he begins to pick up the pace, heeding to your confident command.

He pounds in and out of you in a beautifully pleasurable rhythm that's sending you into a flurry of whimpers and moans at the sensational contact of his cock inside you. Your body feels electric with each new thrust that he sends deep into your womanhood, as he bottoms out every time. A dazed smile finds its way onto your parted lips at the sounds of Geralt's own grunts and staggered breaths.

He pushes you into the grass as he lays atop your shimmering body, his hips doing a fantastic job at keeping your legs apart as he thrusts into you over and over again. You're to out of to even think of wrapping your legs around his body, all that you're able to manage is a tight grasp onto his right arm as your other hand is clawing at the ground for some support.

The sweet sounds of skin on skin contact dissipates throughout the evening breeze. All of it lost to the roar of the river and yours and Geralt's moaning. Your as wet as the water below you as he slides in and out of you with ease. Sending waves of pleasure into your hot core, it's gradually building up with every new thrust he's throwing at you. When you turn your head to the side to get a better look at him, you can tell how concentrated his face is as more grunts subconsciously escape from his lips, he's on his way to paradise.

The building of your own pleasure rises every time he hits your sweet spot until you can't take it anymore and all at once your orgasm hits you like an arrow in the chest. Sending euphoric waves of pure bliss pulsating throughout your entire being as your walls close in around his hardness.

"Ah fuck Geralt!" You scream in ecstasy as another moan slips from your throat, "Geralt! Uh...ahhh oh my fuuuck!"

He relentlessly continues to pound into you as he chases his own high in the midst of you cuming. It's sending more shock waves into your sensitive clit with lack of a break. But you don't have time to care as another orgasm begins to build inside of you once more with every full thrust of his manhood into your dripping entrance. Due to him being a Witcher and all, heavily contributes to his high stamina, but luckily for him you're not entirely human yourself and can keep up with his lack of exhaustion.

More whimpers fall from your lips as he kisses the side of your sweaty cheek in a small act of appreciation for how well you're doing. He understands he's big and how he doesn't get tired easily, so he's rather blessedly grateful for you as a partner who can take him so well. Suddenly he lets out a string of curses mixed in with your name here and there as he releases his load into your aching womanhood. You cuming right after him for the second time today as you let out a pleasurable scream.

"Ohhh fuck Geralt...ohhh fuuuckk."

He gives you a couple more ending thrusts for good measure before he pulls himself out of you and lays at your side in a sweaty heap of heavily breathing Witcher. You can feel as his cum drips out of you and into the grass that's lightly caressing your legs. You're breathing heavily and your inner thighs feel sore as you lay here ever grateful for the cool wind that fans your swollen entrance and sweaty body.

You look up to the blue sky and watch as great puffy clouds roll by, a single falcon gliding on the current, completely oblivious to the smell of sex lingering in the air near you two. You turn your attention to Geralt who's watching the bird of prey fly high into the clouds.

"You think anyone heard us?" You furrow your brows in wonder.

"Some squirrels, probably a bird or two." Replies Geralt nonchalantly as he continues to breath heavily.

"Well I'm glad nothing bothered us, I would have gouged their eyes out if a single person disturbed us." You mutter, a flash of fire in your scarlet eyes.

"Oh Y/N, my ever gentle flower." Muses Geralt with a content sigh as he props himself up onto his elbow to have a better view of you. Smiling at him you go to do the same.

"I can be gentle." You laugh out half defensively, knowing full well that is not entirely true.

"Half the scratch marks on my back are your doing my dear." Replies Geralt with a kind smile as you playfully roll your eyes at him.

"Well, that's not completely my fault." You sass back as you slide yourself closer to him. The two of you now inches apart in the soft grass, he studies your face for a moment, really taking you all in.

"What's on your mind." You ask while playing with the ends of his silver hair. His eyebrows furrow for a second before he relaxes again, deciding to lay both you and himself back down on the riverside grass. He pulls you in close, enough that your top half can now lay comfortably upon his muscular chest and shoulder. You snake an arm over his torso as your head rests nicely upon his strong shoulder blade, your faces so close. His gaze keeps to the clouds above as yours watches him search for an answer.

"I think I may need new clothes." He finally confesses after a short while, you lightly chuckle at his blunt realization.

"What? No. I love the smell of death on you. It's very sexy." You add, sarcasm clear in your voice as you subconsciously trace the scared flesh of his torso.

"Thanks." He mumbles as his free hand finds your arm that's currently draped over his stomach, he trails his fingers upon your skin before resting his hand on your forearm, "The next village over, I'm trading that troll's head for enough coin to get us close to Blaviken...then we'll see what monster there might bring us some better gold."

"I've never been, but I know of a wizard who lives there in some fancy tower all alone, don't know his name or anything. Who knows what kinda shit he gets up to these days, I can't imagine it's anything pleasant or humane." You mutter into the breeze, you'd made sure to keep your distance from any mages or wizards for as long as you could after something caused you to finally become fed up with them.

You don't adheredly have any standing beef with any of them in particular, in fact you had been very close with one, but that was such a long time ago. It almost feels like it could have been a past life. It's just you've lived long enough to know that people like such are usually superstitious bastards who'll believe any prophecy that destiny may conjure up for them.

They do as they please and their use of magic is not always used with good intentions. Although one may say due to your father being a sorcerer and all, would make you part mage, but on the contrary. As far as your abilities go in the tricky area of sorcery and it's mysterious being with how it can be inherited from parent to child. Your capabilities run a specific line of nothing but whatever part vampire runs through your veins. Nothing more, nothing less. Unlike with mages in their give and take, you can simply bend your lighting to your will whenever you call it into your vessel via the dark gift.

That being said, you've seen the atrocities that mages and wizards alike can commit when given the opportunity, so for that, you don't fuck around with them, nor use your deadly gift very often. Figuring you're already dangerous enough as it is, people never seeming to want to keep you around for too long. Perhaps that's why you and Geralt are perfect for each other, if the world won't have you, at least you have one another's company.

"I know of your dislikes for wizards, but we...well I, need new clothes. And there's surely some coin to be given in that place." Whispers Geralt as he holds you close, you let out an annoyed sigh, earning a small laugh from the man beneath you.

"Dammit you know I can't say no to another adventure, wizard or not, I wanna see what Blaviken has to offer us."

-

Tagged:  @notahappytree​ @ashleyforeverareject​ @sokkasdarling​ @kmuir1​(@auds24 sorry idk why ur name won’t work)

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 13 rewatch thoughts; the reduced salt edition

or at least I’m trying to be more constructive with the salt in this one let’s goooo

- god I miss the armourer so much. look at how fucking cool she looks, this is the mando design I hunger for so deeply, WHY would you give me boob plates back instead haha 

- I will say with the way it’s presented this place feels way too small to be called a city lol (and I think that limited scale hurts how much I’m willing to accept the magistrate as a credible opponent to go toe to toe with ahsoka freaking tano. maybe if we’d seen directly the extent of the magistrate’s power and influence and not just the burned out wasteland that power leaves behind I’d be more on board with it. canonically she’s clearly been extremely rich and influential on a galactic scale, while the aesthetic filoni takes from samurai movies in this has a lot more to do with local warlords and smaller stakes. this is not the only time the adherence to that aesthetic without adapting it for the emotional story at hand or giving it a spin for novelty hurts the episode #hot take. it’s empty homage without quite understanding why the moments you’re emulating work so well in the context of the story they serve.) 

this might be because how it’s filmed makes it seem like there’s just one big main street towards the magistrate’s palace, it’s implied to be quite a bit bigger from the establishing shot as the crest comes flying in? 

- LOVE the implication that din lets baby play with the silver ball pretty freely while they’re on the ship but sets the (completely sensible tbh) boundary that he can’t bring it with him somewhere outside where he might lose it for good. that seems like reasonable dad-ing, din, well done. 

anyway my heart is hurting because that silver ball is like a comfort item for the kid and it’s pretty clear from the very start that he has some kind of understanding of what might happen on this planet and so does NOT want to go out there, but also... that thing is narratively introduced as the baby’s way of saying ‘dad, don’t forget me, don’t go’. it’s what made din go back for him the first time, and that’s a connotation it still has both in the audience’s mind and for the characters. and I need to go cry in a corner for a while be right back

- not for nothing but in this scene of the baby being faced with din and a jedi standing side by side as if to present a choice, din literally has the sun right behind his head like some kind of fucking halo

 gee I wonder what the baby’s choice is going to be fsadfjkhasdkjfhs. (he! loves! his dad! so much!!!!!!!)

- I wish they’d done more with the bored punch clock villain, hey-I’m-just-here-for-the-paycheck-man vibe of the guard captain guy and maybe given his nonchalance a bit of a darkly comedic tint, I think it would’ve made a better moment when he’s facing off with din towards the end if he had more... character. make him a bit more of a dark mirror of the soulless gun for hire people have seen din as in the past (and as the magistrate seems to now), do something interesting here. maybe even make it more of a mexican standoff with him holding a gun on an innocent or something so there’s something here for din to lose, it still does the western thing and lets you have that ramping tension you need for when you cut between the sword duel and this. hell, have him actually give up and walk away to show that he doesn’t fucking care about any of this, he did evil for money without any driving passion or conviction behind it, and let din decide if he’ll let him walk away scot free or not after what he’s been part of, that’s a neat subversion of the trope as well! as it stands it’s just so... empty   

- baby says ‘mada! mada!’ again when they try to approach the vendor who appears to be serving foodstuffs! so maybe a word he has for food or maybe something like ‘lady person!’? (he says it when frog lady is gone on the ice planet and also as she’s walking into the razor crest for the first time. he did seem more interested in the eggs at that point, sooo lol)

din reacts to him speaking too, he glances down at him <3<3<3

- the baby seems to sense ‘ooof this is scary, time to hide’ on his own before they go into the magistrate’s place, din doesn’t appear to signal anything to him  

- there’s a lot of deliberate silence in this episode, but the sound design that gets space away from the music somehow isn’t as immersive to me as it usually is on this show? I have no idea why, though 

- ‘a jedi plagues me’ is somehow so fucking funny to me. the tl;dr for a lot of star wars villains through the ages

it also still cracks me up that din is immediately like ‘ma’am you can’t afford me’ fsdhfaskf

- I’m so happy din talks to and reassures the baby when he puts him down in these situations now, I remember being SO SAD when he didn’t back in chapter 7. he’s learning all the time!

- I think we should all be very happy this fight is cut off almost as soon as it begins, because I’m pretty sure ahsoka could kick din’s ass real bad and that would be terrible because I love him (listen din definitely has his moments, but up against a force user for the first time and said force user being one of the most powerful and battle-experienced jedi alive? probably not huh, if he survives that it’s on pure fatherly love and desperation and nothing else)

- this seems to be the baby asking ahsoka to carry him back to be with din (mando certainly seems to be what they’re ‘talking’ about right before) and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen 

din’s fingers are also doing the nervous curl-uncurl thing as she puts the baby down, and it remains the sweetest goddamn character tic, he’s adorable

in the long pause after he tells her “he needs your help” he’s sitting SO TENSELY, it’s only when she at least promises to test the kid that he relaxes a bit

baby (well, grogu, but he’s also baby) recognizes yoda’s name and seems to almost ask ahsoka ‘yoda is here???’, and her blink in response is like ‘no, I’m sorry’ 

- I still deeply dislike how it’s actually done in the episode, it’s so clunky and it annoys me on a craft level, but I do like the overarching thematic narrative of both mando and the baby being on this journey towards specificity and remembering themselves, of reclaiming the particular nuances of an identity that make up a self after a series of traumas have stripped it away from them. at the start of the show neither of them has a name (and din doesn’t even have a face) and they’re basically presented as broad archetypes, The Mandalorian and The Child. and now we’re slowly unearthing things that make them this specific child, grogu, this specific mandalorian, din djarin. it’s rediscovering parts of yourself you might have thought lost as you heal from trauma and I do like that very much, it’s touching and the emotional throughline this show should never lose sight of   

- oooooh no baby glances over at din when she asks him to push the stone back ;______________; it’s so awful because you can just tell... he understands that if he does this thing din might leave, but also people have clearly tricked him into using the Force before and given him this traumatized kneejerk association that if he uses it where people can see him Bad things might happen

oh okay so I think din just subtly misunderstands the baby’s appeal to him here, he thinks that look towards him means ‘dad help I don’t understand what’s being asked of me’. I guess he doesn’t have any way of knowing how complicated the baby’s past is with this yet, it’s a good try

- I’ve seen people take ‘he understands’ as baby understanding everything that’s said to him all the time, which is patently not true haha. he understands quite a lot, in the way toddlers actually understand quite a lot of what’s going on around them, even a bit of words spoken to them before they’re especially verbal themselves, but he clearly mixes up his colours still sooo

I also suspect he’s played this game before -- surely that must be one of the most obvious activities the jedi would do with the smallest children, playing Force catch basically? but he still doesn’t trust it, or her. (on the other hand he does trust that din would never hurt or trick him. help me I’m drowning in my own tears)   

- personally and from anything else in this show I don’t think din would be this impatient with the baby after hearing, less than half a minute before, that he’s terrified

but hey I’m not the man in the cowboy hat what do I know (yes I’m bitter characterization matters okay lol)

- it’s both funny and so sweet that the same music plays during this father and son playing catch scene as when baby lifted that mudhorn fkdfha

- for my money din reacts exactly perfectly to grogu finally Force pulling the ball -- he’s excited and happy, signalling that this thing doesn’t have to be scary and dangerous and that when shared with the right people it can be a good joyous thing, he moves over to the baby so they can share in this victory and attune, and crucially he doesn’t demand more afterwards, which the baby must have gotten before from some of the assholes who’ve been experimenting on him. it’s just the celebration and satisfaction of having done the thing without demands or threats or any ulterior motives. HIM!!! DAD!!!! 

tattoo this straight onto my heart... the way baby cheerfully offers it back to din... sdkjafhksdfhsakdjf 

- din breaths out roughly and unevenly through his nose almost like it’s been punched out of him and starts fiddling with the silver ball (which is still his primary tell for anxiety/stress!) when ahsoka says “he’s formed a strong attachment to you” :) listen if I have to know that all of you fuckers are going down with me 

- see the thing is... if you don’t know who ahsoka is in pretty deep detail, you might take her at face value here instead of understanding that she’s actually projecting her own feelings and traumas onto this. if you absolutely have to use this character for this part of the show you have to set her up better specifically so someone who’s never seen a single episode of clone wars can grasp the basics of where she is emotionally and what her motives are, so that her role in this story makes sense. as it is it’s sort of a compromise between pleasing old fans (who can do quite a bit of inferring to figure it out) and approaching audiences who don’t know anything, and it falls flat    

(for the purposes of this show I aggressively do not care where thrawn is, and so I’m just annoyed when we find out what this was actually all for haha)

- still feel reluctant to discuss too much about ahsoka because of the whole... situation with dawson, but I do like that she lets one of the guards leave after disarming him because he’s cowering and giving up, and that she still has her padawan braid wound into her belt. also I think the effects on her and her outfit are completely fine, my problems with her this episode are all writing craft and real life stuff 

- when you get first the jet pack sound, then din coming down kicking that dude in the face, then the mando flute kicking in as he lands properly... the only time the action in this episode made me go ‘fuck YEEEAAAAH’ it’s awesome

- again, just like with the idea of having a samurai/ronin movie standoff and a western standoff at the same time: having the scene be mostly silent except for the almost musical sounds of the light sabers hitting the beskar spear is such a cool concept, and it does not work in action. I don’t know enough about filmmaking to tell you why it doesn’t, but it doesn’t.

there’s also something about... the ahsoka vs. morgan scene apes the deliberately staged, ritualized, exaggerated almost like how you’d perform it in live theatre aspect of the duels in the genre, but in an empty way? why are they acting like this, what’s their relationship to each other, what’s their individual code of honour that makes them let the other person slowly theatrically disrobe before going for them? just plucking the aesthetics out of a tradition and plopping them down in your own thing without thinking about the whys or original context of it leaves it without meaning 

(also let morgan express something of her own character other than I Am Evil rather than having ahsoka drop the entire exposition on her. maybe you could have her snarl some illuminating lines while they’re fighting so you get the feeling of the bitterness and brokenness that has fuelled her and burned the woods of this whole planet. in some ways she’s not that unlike din and ahsoka, she lost everything in the clone wars too and was motivated very differently by it than they were, play that up so the situation’s relevant to our protagonists! I’m sorry for all this nitpicking but I HAVE to figure out how this could have been done better for my own sake haha)     

- ooooooh the way din says “I can’t accept” when offered the spear is in fact almost an exact echo of when the armourer offers him the signet in chapter 3! I thought it sounded familiar, it’s delivered in such a similar way. huh. din has some Feelings about earning things and when he hasn’t earned something, doesn’t he

- din also cares A LOT about not breaking his word, to the point of being willing to stoop to some quite dishonest methods to avoid giving his word in the first place, and I find it utterly delightful 

- baby closing his eyes again after din wakes him like he’s thinking ‘maybe if I don’t wake up dad won’t go’ or even ‘at least this way I won’t know it happened until later, when it’s over’... pure emotional torture :) thank god din’s entire soul is clearly howling in protest and he took the slightest chance ahsoka gave him to not actually go through with it 

- so this is the second time we get someone telling din he’s like grogu’s father. well, the armourer gives it more like a command/almost a religious obligation, ‘until it is of age or reunited with its kind you are as its father’, ahsoka is stating what’s obvious at this point but says ‘you are like a father to him’... maybe they’re doing a rule of threes thing and the last time it’s ‘you are his father’ and it sticks?

- anyway din cradling the baby so close to his chest with both arms all the time instead of the more practical way he carries him around in the crook of his arm sometimes... my suffering is deep and endless   

[fizzingwizard]

I could cry y’all. Episode 37 was SO GOOD. So good!! It truly felt like a Mimi episode, and it truly felt like Digimon Adventure, in multiple ways. It’s seriously fantastic!

I feel at once super duper relieved that this show is, really and truly, capable of this time of episode, and also super duper confused why, if it could do this, it hasn’t been doing it the whole time??

Anyway, we’ve now had four or five solid episodes in a row, so I’m letting myself feel hopeful again!

This episode is called “Mimi Wars,” but I feel it might be more aptly titled “Sailor Mimi”

In the name of employee rights, I will punish you!

More below!

Okay... so as I was watching this episode, I really got the feeling that they were parodying something again. Like last we had a Mimi episode - far far away in the distant past though it was - when they very obviously parodied Castle in the Sky. That’s twice now Mimi’s been compared with a girl with twin tails, Usagi’s pigtails and Sheeta’s braids xD

Although the poses Mimi uses aren’t exact replicas of Usagi’s, though, so maybe I’m wrong. I got the Usagi vibe from her personality even more, so maybe using the poses would have been considered copyright infringement and so they had to change them a little. Or, maybe Mimi is parodying someone else who also uses dramatic hand movements and talks a lot about justice in spite of being generally clueless...

See the resemblance? XD

But what I REALLY think is going on is, they’re spoofing the genre in general, while also taking it seriously. That’s important. It’s not just a joke here. This is the girl power episode, in a way, and in my opinion, it’s a better girl power episode than the fare I got used to growing up, which went more or less like this:

Guy: *does something with good intentions but inept*

Girl: Ugh! Men don’t respect women!

Guy: I’m sorry, what did I do wrong?

Girl: I won’t tell you because feminism! C’mon girlfriends, let’s assert our confidence as women by going on a girls night out shopping spree and making a bunch of random guys stare in awe at us for no clear reason!

Girls: Yes! This is third wave feminism!

... that was more or less the formula. It was... awkward. I’d like to blame on “those episodes were written by men who think all feminists are angry feminists,” but I think if I went and checked who the scriptwriters were, there’d be some women in there for sure.

What we got in THIS episode is something I’d actually want my daughter to see. First off you’ve got Mimi, who loves pink and pretty things and comes across as a real girly girl, not to mention a bit of a ditz. And the show’s straight up, “but just because you have flaws doesn’t mean you can’t grow into a great person. Also, being girly is not incompatible with being a boss.”

Mimi doesn’t need to be a man, nor does she need to be a hard ass, nor does she need to be especially kind and sweet to soften her orders. All she has to do, according to this episode, is care about her craft, care about quality, and care about worker conditions.

I mean... a show where the girl boss wasn’t a Russian spy in a former life?? A show where the girl boss isn’t a Stepford wife who got where she is by marrying rich and funding her perfume company that way? She’s... she’s Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. She gets to be flawed and girly and fun-loving and bossy and ditzy all at the same time. She loves diamonds - but diamonds are no longer a “girl’s best friend.” Rather, Mimi herself is the diamond in the rough!

This actually makes her a really good set with Sora. Sora continues to be both a tomboy and very sisterly. Mimi’s very girly but very bossy. Between the two of them, they can conquer the world. Of course, I don’t know that the show would take it any farther than they already have, but I’m just happy to see this development for Mimi at all. We had it to a degree in 99 Adventure, and Kizuna took it a bit further by making her an entrepreneur. Reboot Mimi is a remix of that for the 21st century.

*deeeeeeeeeep breath*

so... back to our regularly scheduled programming!

As awesome as Mimi is, she’s not the only one who’s great in this episode. The others get to let their real personalities shine, at least. We needed this episode sooooo bad like 20 episodes ago... le sigh.

Anyway, we start off having mad camp, for some reason (why aren’t they just staying on Komondomon?? whatev)

Food! They’re going to get food! They’re splitting up and making a plan in order to get food!!! I still miss the “food desperation” of 99 Adventure but hey, at least they’re acknowledging that they need to eat.

Sora advises Hikari and Takeru not to go too far on their quest and Tailmon swears like a knight of the round table to protect Hikari with her life.

Taichi: Oookay... note to self: don’t piss off little sister’s hotheaded partner...

Taichi adds that they’re also counting on Patamon, who is just thrilled to go off and play with Takeru.

Tailmon: *BIG SIGH*

Lol I really love that they’re bringing back the old Patamon/Tailmon dynamic where she’s all grown up serious and he’s got the priorities of a toddler most of the time... It’s Black Widow and Hawkeye bahahahaha

We even get to see them COLLECT FOOD what did I do to deserve this they are COLLECTING FOOD IT’S NOT HAPPENING OFF SCREEN I REPEAT IT’S NOT HAPPENING OFF SCREEN

Taichi even has to warn Agumon not to eat the food becaues they’re supposed to be gathering it to share ;___; omg... we actually get on screen proof that Agumon is a glutton??

Then Taichi tries to “help” by shaking the tree and the tree falls and they -

BAHAHAHAHAHA

humor!!! Poking fun at Taichi even!! Over food!! Because he has a klutz for a partner!!! And because he himself was overzealous!! ;_; I could die of Cute.

Sora absolutely shocks me this episode too. I expected she’d just watch Taichi and Agumon drift away with their folly while sighing and shrugging her shoulders or something.

NOPE

She jumps DIRECTLY UP and into the water without a moment’s hesitation, like they’re going to die without her - I don’t even know what her plan is here, she seems to want Piyomon to evolve and pull them out, but why does that mean Sora has to be in the water too?

I think her sisterly instincts just freaked out on seeing Taichi looking wet and confused and clinging to a tree trunk so she just did the first thing she could think of which was “Get to him!!”

Piyomon then fails to evolve, reason unclear, I suppose she’s hungry... they never do eat though so I’m not sure why she can evolve later xD (probably they eat off screen)

But I mean I just love that we got this bit with Sora. I call it freaking out but she doesn’t seem freaked out - she stays calm and seems decisive and takes action - all good things. It’s just hard to understand her thought process xD But it’s all good info about Sora. (again stuff we needed more of AGES ago)

Now I had thought this was all just a funny bit that was separate to the main story, but this is how Taichi and Sora end up washed up in the rocky area Mimi is. This does mean Koushirou, Takeru, and Hikari aren’t much in the rest of the episode, sadly. Not sure why but the reboot does seem to struggle with writing episodes for the whole group.

Like last week, I’m somewhat miffed that, in the end, the main group finds the stragglers instead of the other way around. It’s even worse this time because at least last episode Koushirou told them where he was and they had a reason to go there. This time they have no idea Mimi’s gonna be there and it’s all a big coincidence. On the other hand... I do think Mimi was born under a lucky star, so that explains it. :P

Taichi and Sora suddenly find them selves trapped Gulliver’s Travels style and they’re both immediately like, “Hmm... something about this situation seems very familiar...”

Taichi and Sora: Oh that’s RIGHT we totally forgot that the pink cowgirl we hand out with is also TOTALLY BATSHIT

D’awww. Our future overlord is just so adorable, I don’t even mind when she flogs us in the street

TBH, up till now they’ve woefully underestimated just how batshit she is. And it’s wonderful.

So Mimi has happened upon some poor, disenfranchised Digimon who are being forced to work for an evil boss who collects the beautiful gems that grow in this area. Like in 99 Adventure, Mimi will have none of this sort of crap. Her reasons, though, have evolved with the times:

omg... she voted for Bernie Sanders!

This is how Harry and Ron reacted when Hermione said she was starting a house-elf welfare organization called SPEW.

Though I joke - like I said before, even though Taichi and Sora are rather mind-boggled by Mimi’s mood swings and fits of passion, and there’s definitely humor there, Mimi herself is not a joke here. We are shown strongly that, however in the clouds her head might be, her heart is not only in the place, it’s also already internalized the fact that people don’t always get treated well in the real world and it’s up to those with power to ensure that are protected.

I mean. At this point, I’m going, “Sorry but ISN’T MIMI THE REAL LEADER IN THIS SHOW?!?!”

Of course she does have another, less lofty motivation... she really likes pretty stones.

Buhahahaha.

Mimi’s names are as creative as they are incredible, just like her. Taichi and Sora have trouble keying in with Mimi due to how changeable she is, but they never talk badly about her or reject her. They never try to wrest leadership from her either! Taichi might think Mimi’s names for the stones are over the top, but sort of sidesteps it and just goes along with her plan.

Reason #14567876867867 why I love Yagami Taichi: when someone else is the leader, he can be a follower. And he’ll be the BEST follower. Keep reading to see why.

The story of how Mimi befriended the enslaved rock Digimon here is pretty much how Goku became besties with Vegeta.

Men communicate their hearts through their fists! Or swords, depending on the anime. ANOTHER AWESOME SUBVERSIVE MOMENT FOR MIMI - she’s now even got cliche shonen hero tropes assigned to her!

Taichi and Sora, like I said, don’t try to change Mimi’s mind - they’re actually touched by her strong feelings about workers’ rights and her desire to help her new friends -

Taichi: Wait... what?

Sora: Well, she’s still a ten year old girl.

The rock Digimon show their allegiance to Princess CEO Mimi. They don’t even mind having their names and identities stripped away and being reduced to numbers on an Excel spreadsheet...

Taichi: I hate Excel.

Sora: I do too, but I’m more impressed that she remembers the numbers she gave us back in episode 6.

Taichi: Impressed? More like filled with a sense of impending doom

Only Taichi seems to understand Mimi’s unique power bahahaha.

But back to what I said earlier, about Mimi being the real leader: I don’t know if the show’s gonna keep doing anything with this at all, but I really like that they didn’t NOT do this in order to ensure Taichi’s the only leader. (I mean, Yamato’s so far not made much of a bid for leadership so he’s been pretty uncontested thus far. He also hasn’t had to do all that much leading given how often the group is separated... but I digress)

I love the idea that Taichi can step back and let someone else take the reins when they’re best suited. Which Mimi is, due to her easy ability to make friends and gain trust. Mimi had this ability in 99 as well and it was used in the final battle to muster the troops, so to speak. It ought to have been a bigger deal but wasn’t since she missed most of the final battle :/ But I loved that “social, able to make friends” wasn’t some stupid “Girls talk too much” trait, it was actually something that was useful. This is a great place to take that with the reboot.

At the same time, while Mimi and Taichi both have similar leadership traits, there are places they diverge that potentially make them leaders for different situations. Taichi’s pretty cool and strategic even in emergencies. He was more of a hothead in 99, but Mimi’s always been quick to anger. (And quick to cool down.) As we’ll see in this episode, that’s sort of where Taichi’s true ability lies: he’s serious, determined, strategic, and reliable as well as brave. But this is Mimi’s episode, and Taichi isn’t going to get to be the hero anymore than he (almost) was last week with Koushirou. Because more than one character can have positive leadership traits! Hallelujah.

Quick nip over to Komondomon and the others - Koushirou’s group is going to try to find them, but Komondomon falls asleep. Oh noes. I wish someone (Koushirou) would ask, out loud, “Gee, what are these strange symbols that appear when we communicate via digivice? Do they mean something? How were they assigned?” I really thought we’d get a hint what with all the conveniently colorful gemstones this episode, but still nope.

My girl looking like a BAMF!

Mimi explains her plan to her servants employees. She is surprisingly artistic!

Sora plays the role of bait to create a diversion while Greymon digs a tunnel to get to where the gems are stored. Mimi congratulates herself on a job well done.

Taichi: A job well done? Who d’you think has been doing the work here?

Greymon: That would be me.

Taichi: Right, right I was going to say you >.>;

So we do see bits of Mimi’s self-centered side as well - she’s not perfect, but who is? Taichi just lives with it. Mwehehehe.

... will be fired! LMAO

No. 72 is Taichi, btw. Mimi gave up calling people by their names for Lent.

Taichi: Lent’s not for over a month.

Mimi: It’s never too early for religious sacrifice.

Taichi: And you’re not Catholic.

Mimi: I celebrate Mardi Gras.

Taichi: yOU JUST LIKE THE COSTUMES AND KING CAKE

He’s miffed and he.... just lives with it. Again. xD

It’s hilarious. And adorable. I love both that 1) Mimi is an awesome boss while being, in fact, rather bossy, and that 2) in spite of being a boss type himself, Taichi not only listens to Mimi, but he totally indulges her like he’s her older brother or something x’D He wouldn’t be out of line for saying “I have a name you know!” On the other hand, I guess he knows her well enough to understand that she doesn’t mean anything by it, and... there’s no stopping her when she gets like this :P

Feel the wrath of Tachikawa Mimi!!!

So Mimi’s plan has worked so far, and she’s got everyone listening to her despite her questionable business practices, and then she... suddenly rushes off in another direction.

Taichi: That’s it, I am through being her personal assistant if she’s just going to change the plan on a whim!

Taichi: ... I don’t want to see her get hurt or be sad though...

Greymon understands Taichi’s heart ;___; and enables him to go after Mimi. I don’t really get why it’s wise to split up given that Taichi can’t fight big rock Digimon without his partner... x’D So I’m going to chalk this up to, Greymon understands that Taichi is, at his core, the team Dad. He’s got to be allowed to worry and check up on the kids, even when it’s not so advisable. Awwwwwwwww.

Indeed, Taichi doesn’t get to be the hero this ep, but small moments like this give us waaaay more character development than always being the hero!

Fortunately Mimi does have her own partner and she’s not afraid of the enemy’s rock hard abs. :P

They make it into the storage center for all the gems. IT’S SO COLORFUL. Ten year old men is squeeing just like Mimi.

Come on!! She’s holding yellow/orange topaz and purple amethyst! It could be the material for Taichi or Takeru’s and Koushirou’s crests! (I always liked fire opal for Taichi though xD)

Taichi’s been promomted!! To chief pack animal x’D Just because it’s a cool name doesn’t mean that’s what the job is, Meems.

Taichi’s just like, “I think I’m too young for that position.” Bahahaha.

He’s going to be carrying her books to school before long.

Then something big and hard hits Taichi in the head!! He freaking starts to cry, it hurts so bad!!

Taichi: Owww! Omg I think I got a concussion from that! Help someone call an ambulance!

He was hit in the head by a diamond, which Mimi loves. So she goes off on a monologue about how much she likes diamonds. She never asks him if he’s okay x’D

Taichi: Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, not that you asked or anything.

Mimi: Please, everyone knows your head is already harder than diamonds.

Taichi: ...

The pile of gems looks like Fruity Pebbles. Mmmmm

It turns out the mastermind of this whole operation is Gogmamon, who is the bastard child of Gogmagog I assume :P He eats the gemstones as well as Gotsumon for power. He then produces the diamonds?? I didn’t quite understand if he was spitting out the diamonds because he didn’t like them, or he was creating them inside him when eating and then spitting them out like... diamond turds...

...

they’re diamond turds aren’t they >__>

Mimi is not interested in big business bulldozing the mom and pop shops and small upstarts. And she hates sweatshops! She is pro-Fair Trade all the way! And she will yell it in your face!

Taichi: It’s the yelling part that I’m having trouble with.

Mimi: A good speech from the boss is what keeps up employee morale!

Taichi: Yeah, that’s less true when the boss is about to be gobbled up herself...

Golemon and Togemon try to fight Gogmamon and this results in Golemon falling to pieces.

Taichi: Are you okay?

Golemon: My HEAD was knocked off, but sure I’m doing JUST FINE -____- little brat

Taichi stands protectively in front of Golemon’s head. Lol. He’s thinking of strategies... perhaps regretting rushing after Mimi and leaving his own partner behind...

Mimi joins him and Gogmamon finds her a formidable opponent in the war of words. Gogmamon argues that all the rocks, all the Digimon, everything here belongs to him and him alone! And Mimi brilliantly counters with:

“Fuck that! They belong to ME!”

x’D He just like... under his breath... “she admits that’s how she thinks of us...” hahahaha... I laughed out loud...

It might not be 3D but this is an excellent evolution sequence xD I haven’t said so yet but the animation in this episode was good! Good for the show anyway. It was smoother than usual despite some mechanical-like mouth movements and more than that, it had character and expression!

okay important question everyone: Taichi = Kermit, Mimi = Miss Piggy... discuss??

So Gogmamon has a pretty cool-sounding attack, “Curse Reflection.” I have often complained that the villains we fight and get new evolutions with aren’t that scary, but Gogmamon not only seemed pretty formidable (if not the smart, I mean he does have rocks for a brain), he also had a good story build up. My one disappointment in this episode is that the ending is so fast and Gogmamon so easily dealt with. This would have been a good time to introduce Rosemon (like how last week would have been an appropriate time for HerculesKabuterimon). But in both cases, we’re definitely supposed to take away at least that these guys are almost there... Anyway yeah, I would have liked a tiny bit more meant to the resolution but.

So here’s ANOTHER cool thing! Taichi notices that Gogmamon rejects the diamonds, and realizes they’re the key to defeating him. But he doesn’t just tell that to Mimi. He asks her “Did you see that?” And guess what - she did!

So even though the show couldn’t resist telling us that yes, Taichi would have been able to handle this situation - it doesn’t even let him give Mimi a hint towards victory. She figures it out for herself! The most we can say he does is point out the diamond, but she understands the implication and is able to use it against Gogmamon through her own intellect.

TAICHI DOESN’T MANSPLAIN Y’ALL. HE’S NOT A MANSPLAINER. HALLELUJAH AND PAST THE PEAS!!

Mimi is very influenced by her hardworking, CEO grandpa, Tachikawa Genichiro, who’s taught her things about business and things about values, and it really reads as if she’s the one who will inherit the family business - like she’s the family investment. You know, the role that traditionally only falls to sons. That’s changed with the world, and apparently Tachikawa Genichiro-jiisan is totally on board with his granddaughter being more than just a pretty heiress!

... btw what are they making...

“You’re fired!” Mimi yells as Lillymon takes Gogmamon down x’D kill me I love it

Like last time (and it sure was a long time ago that we saw it ;_;), the aftereffects of Lillymon’s powers is plants start growing everywhere. This is such a cool effect, I don’t get why it’s not used more. Right now I feel like Mimi/Palmon are the best set in the show.

(I did think it was funny when Mimi gives the diamond to Lillymon to use against Gogmamon and Lillymon acts like Mimi’s making this huge sacrifice since she loves diamonds so much. But 1) it wasn’t the only one, and 2) they were spat out by Gogmamo! that’s gross! that’s got to cut into the value! hahah)

The others finally catch up and the day is saved. Golemon is an employee for life now. Awww.

AWWWWWW.

I gushed about all this before so I won’t repeat myself, but yeah, I’m so happy with this episode.

Lol Sora and Taichi have accepted their places in Mimi’s world, in the end. They might have numbers instead of names and their boss might change her mind about things every five seconds, but other than that it’s a pretty nice gig overall.

Again the art, so sweet. This reminded me of Miyako yelling to Mimi about how she wants to be like her when she grows up in 02 so I capped it.

And I absolutely love this little play on words since it’s in English! Wow!

SO CUTE. How did a Mimi episode kick every other episode out of the water? Scratch that, we always knew Mimi was fantastic. A shojo hero for the 21st century.

Well I said a ton and this is really long now so I’m gonna assume you all get my thoughts on this episode. 9.5/10, really awesome, totally unexpected but perfectly suted to Mimi. I’m so so happy this show seems to have figured things out and remebered that it’s supposed to be freaking Digimon Adventure, it seemed like it forgot for a while there. I just hope we haven’t wasted too much time on those more lackluster episodes, I want so many more stories like this one.

Next week looks like another winner:

OK, that concept is hilarious x’D I’m so sorry. But also, leave it to Yamato and Gabumon to get the tragedy episode.

The mood maker will be this guy! I’m totally psyched for Yamato and Jou. Taichi’s been important in the past two episodes even though they were centered on Koushirou and Mimi, so I wonder if/when he’ll be involved this time? Or maybe it really will be just Yamato and Jou - my dream combo?? I can’t wait either way.

DID NOT CHECK FOR TYPOS! See y’all next week.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards pt. III

(Technoblade x Reader): Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII

     From that day on Tommy stayed with you and Technoblade in your collective house, Technoblade tried to establish some ground rules but Tommy being Tommy refused to listen to any of them. He was dead set on building a cobblestone tower as well as taking all of Technoblade’s golden apples instead of eating the golden carrots that were graciously given to him. Other than that, things seemed to be going okay for your little found family. Well, that was until Technoblade and Tommy got wind that a man named Dream was sniffing around the area. 

 Dream was an enigma to you, after hearing Tommy’s stories about the man you could only come up with two conclusions about him. One was that you had no idea what his motivations were in the first place and secondly you wanted to beat his ass for what he did to Tommy. As... unique as he could be at times no child deserved to be exiled and manipulated, it was disgusting. He was a sixteen-year-old boy who got caught up in too many wars and too much violence, you needed to protect him. So long as he was with you and Technoblade that’s what you planned on doing. That was what you silently vowed to yourself, even if Technoblade didn’t share the same sentiment. 

 Now, it seemed you were coming increasingly closer to voicing those feelings to the man himself. Tommy was shaking a little besides you he tried to look strong as Technoblade frantically told him to hide and splashed him with invisibility potions. He looked over at you next and grabbed your shoulders, he actually looked scared, which meant he wasn’t messing around. 

          “You need to hide too. God- there’s nowhere that he won’t check.” Technoblade mumbled, his brow creased, and he closed his eyes. “He CAN’T know about you! No one other than Tommy can, they’ll hurt you and-” Hesitantly you put your hands on his cheeks,  

         “Take a deep breath…” You said tenderly as he opened his eyes to lock with your own. “We’ll be okay, splash me with invis and I’ll stay by Edward, hopefully it’ll mask my particle effects.” He gave a worried nod; you pecked his lips tenderly to reassure him as he splashed you with the potion. Just in time too because a knock on the door sounded, for once Tommy was absolutely silent. You watched as a man who rivaled your boyfriend in size came through the door, your eyes widened at the white mask covering his face there was an almost haunting smile painted on it. You pressed your tongue against your teeth and watched him give a wave to your boyfriend. Even without seeing his face you could tell he was smirking coyly at him. Never one to be intimidated Technoblade gave him a casual greeting and their conversation about Tommy’s location began. You had to cover your mouth with your hands at one point to stop yourself from laughing as Techno began talking to ‘chat’ instead of talking to Dream. You watched as the masked man grew more and more angry at Technoblade’s antics, he began speaking about a favor and Techno reminded him that he believes in full reciprocity. At the end of the interaction, it took all of your strength not to punch Dream directly in his stupid masked face. Why the fuck did it sound like he wanted to murder a child? If Dream ever laid a finger on him again, he was personally going to feel your wrath. The potion wore off almost as soon as Dream disappeared over the hills, Techno immediately turned to Tommy anger written all over his face.

         “Where you eating my gapples that ENTIRE time?!” Tommy sputtered out an excuse about absorption and you watched Techno open the window and beckon Dream to come back. You gave Technoblade a look and he scoffed at you, 

          “I won’t let him hurt you again Tommy. I promise.” You swore looking down at him, and his face turned a little pink. Tommy cleared his throat and shook his head,

          “Thanks, Ms. Blade but I’m tough enough to fight him head on! Have no fear!” He pointed to himself with his thumb a proud smile adoring his face. You gave a little laugh and nodded in agreement, 

          “You definitely are. Thank you for reassuring me.” You hummed and his smile only seemed to widen, 

          “I’m more qualified to protect your girlfriend than you are it seems Technoblade.” 

 Technoblade looked unamused, his eyebrow twitching in distaste. “Tommy I literally hate you so much. You’re a nerd.” 

         “Play nice both of you.” You scolded them, “We have to work together and at least pretend to get along or it’s going to be a very long partnership.” They both nodded reluctantly, and Techno sighed tiredly, he ruffled your hair. The rest of the night was spent gathering some more food in hopes it would stop Tommy’s gapple eating tirade, it obviously wouldn’t but it didn’t hurt to try. After that all three of you turned in for the night, as both you and Technoblade were getting ready for bed he decided to speak up about the plan for the next day.

          “Tommy and I need to make a trek into L’manburg to find Phil and try to get my stuff back. I don’t want to leave you here alone considering what just happened today, but you also can’t come to L’manburg.” 

        “Bubs you know I’ll be fine here alone did we not just have this conversation?” You pinched his pointed ears, and he made a sound of protest. “I’ve got fighting skills, after all have you not been training me in the art of war?” You teased with a smirk, “I got this Blade.”

          “Okay, okay, okay.” He leaned forward and kissed you and you kissed him back without hesitation. You felt him squeeze your hand fondly before pulling away from you. “When we get back home, we’ll have a date night okay?” Technoblade whispered softly pressing his forehead to yours. 

          “Gonna be a bit hard with the raccoon boy snooping around.” You teased eyes sparkling in delight, 

         “I’ll send him on a quest for something or other. So, it’ll be just us, I swear.” The soft look on Technoblade’s face made your heart squeeze in your chest. He brushed your hair behind your ear, “I’ll make you dinner, and we can watch a movie.” 

          “Well don’t take too long then.” You sent a teasing wink his way and he smiled fondly back at you. You kissed him again pulling him down into the bed, you both bounced with a laugh. His pink hair hung down and framed his face gorgeously, his glasses slipped down his nose. You pushed them back up with your index finger and he went cross-eyed, “I’ll be looking forward to it.” 

 The next morning rolled around and after breakfast both boys reluctantly packed a bag with important things they needed for the day. Stepping outside with the two of them, Technoblade gave you a farewell kiss and you watched them disappear over the hills. They were most likely going to go cause problems for other people on purpose. Finally alone, you decided to check up on the nearby villages to see if they had any interesting trades that you and Techno could exploit. You slung a bag over your shoulder and placed a good portion of emeralds inside of it, you placed a few potions inside of the bag as well. As a precaution you also grabbed an axe and a sword, you had to be ready for anything after all. Shutting the door behind you, you started your trek through the snow-covered woods you heard the snow crunch under your boots and began to hum softly to yourself. You paused a moment and raised an eyebrow as you caught sight of a blue sheep wandering by, tilting your head to the side you approached it. 

        “Well, hey little guy.” You murmured reaching out and running your hand through the sheep’s soft wool. 

         “Oh, um excuse me!” A voice spoke from behind you, you jumped with a yelp as soon as you spun around you were met with a fully transparent man. He had a yellow sweater with a big gash in his torso, and a beanie resting atop his head. You tilted your head up and locked eyes with him, they were almost completely white.

 He was a ghost.

          “That’s Friend! She doesn’t really like others petting her but it’s okay because you didn’t know.” The ghost smiled; it was contagious as you felt yourself smiling back at him.

         “My bad, my names (Y/n). What’s yours?” 

         “Oh! I’m Ghostbur! It’s nice to meet you miss, I’ve never seen you around here before. Are you new to the SMP?” He tilted his head floating around you, almost as if to get a better look at you. You focused more on his name, Ghostbur, which means this was Wilbur Soot, ex-president of L’manburg, and ‘brother’ of Tommy and Technoblade. 

 You cleared your throat and rubbed the back of your neck. “No, I’ve lived in this area for a while, but I’m a wandering adventurer. I trade with the villages around here for interesting collectables stuff like that. I don’t do much of that now though.” You watched the ghost’s eyes widen a little,

          “That’s so cool!” He praised, “I bet you have a ton of cool stories.” 

          “Yeah, there’s been a few close calls, but I’ve made it back alive and well- oh shit no offense.” You winced a little and he laughed shaking his head, 

          “No worries it’s okay! I’m fine with being dead you know, no one really liked who I was alive, so this is better for everybody.” He puffed out his chest a little and a big smile spread across his face, that only caused you to frown. You reached out to try and touch him and your hand went right through the man, you both seemed to shiver at that, and he looked at you in shock. 

      “I’m sorry to hear that...that must be really hard.” Wilbur’s jaw dropped at your response, he floated around a bit awkwardly. If he wasn’t floating, he would’ve been shuffling on his feet in a nervous manner. 

       “N-No it’s…Wilbur was a horrible, horrible man.” He took a deep breath and began to throw some sort of blue substance on the ground in a rapid manner, you watched as he began to mutter and breath heavily. 

        “Woah, woah, woah I’m sorry don’t freak out!” 

         “I’m not, I'm okay see, see I’m fine and happy. Very happy with everything that’s going on so no worries okay! Here.” He tossed the blue substance at you and you collected it with a weary smile, “Have some blue it’ll make you feel better.” You thanked him quietly and you both stood there a bit uncomfortably that was until thunder rumbled overhead. “Oh no…I melt in the rain.” 

         “Here why don’t you come with me.” You smiled softly, “I know a place where you can wait out the storm.” 

          “Aw thank you.” Ghostbur clapped, “Friend can come too right?” 

          “Of course.” 

          “Good. Then lead the way.” He chirped as Ghostbur followed you back the way you came, now before you get too mad at yourself you should know that Technoblade had informed you that during his ‘execution’ Ghostbur had visited him at his home. If he didn’t share that information with you, you’d be never revealing Technoblade’s base. As the house appeared over the mountains the ghost looked over at you with a bright smile, “Oh! That’s my friend Technoblade’s house, do you live with him?”

         “I do.” You smiled fondly and watched his smile grow excitedly, “He’s helped me out quite a lot.”

         “That’s wonderful! Technoblade usually never helps people unless he likes them or if they can do something for him in return. You must be very special, are you two together?” He only had to glance at you for a moment before laughing excitedly, “You are! That’s wonderful!” Ghostbur chirped, clapping his hands as he phased through Technoblade’s door, officially safe out of the rain, turned snow. You had let Friend inside as well and Ghostbur continued talking “Tell me how you met, please, please, please.” Seeing how excited the ghost was you melted, he won your heart just like Tommy. However, you had to keep in mind his alive self-did blow up an entire nation and that couldn’t be just brushed away like he seemingly was trying to do, you can’t erase the past. You can only accept what happens, learn from it, apologize and grow. However, you didn’t see the harm in sharing how the both of you met so you began to retell the tale to Ghostbur, the entire time he had an almost bittersweet look on his face. 

         “I was married once...her name was Sally. She...left though. But I still had my son, Fundy and we did the best we could together.” Ghostbur said fondly his eyes softening,

         “I’m sorry...that must’ve been really hard for the both of you.” 

         “It’s alright! She was a salmon, so she was going to swim away eventually.” 

         “Like- like an actual salmon?”

          “Yes?” 

The silence that stretched into the room was deafening, you cleared your throat deciding not to dwell on the fact that the ghost in front of you very likely fucked a fish. You hoped to god she was some sort of shapeshifter, in fact that’s what you were going to believe. You managed to break the silence by asking about Fundy, and the way he gushed about him was nothing less than fatherly. It was sweet and you listened intently to him, Fundy seemed like a good kid, a bit quirky but you were dating a blood god so who were you to judge? Eventually the snow outside stopped and the sun began to peek out from behind the clouds. Ghostbur glanced out the window and decided it was time for him to head out with Friend. It was about midday and you were almost sad to see him go. 

 Alone again.

You still had hours to kill before Technoblade and Tommy reappeared, so you figured it was about time to start doing some chores. 

---

         “Ghostbur what’re you doing here?” Fundy murmured softly, looking over at the ghost with an exhausted expression. His ears were pressed back against his head, talking to the man who was once considered his dad always made him exhausted. Wilbur, or Ghostbur now, really was pitiful.

         “Can’t I visit you every once in a while!” Ghostbur hummed a smile plastered on his face as Fundy frowned. 

         “Preferably not. Plus...I’m a little busy right now I’m meeting up with Quackity and the Butcher Squad to talk about Techno again.” 

         “OH! Technoblade! I just spent the loveliest morning with his girlfriend, she was absolutely wonderful! She asked all about you and just adored Friend-”

         “Rewind, Technoblade’s what?” Fundy’s jaw dropped to the floor and he felt a hand on his shoulder, the young fox man stiffened. He looked to the side and saw Quackity besides him, Ranboo was next to him but Tubbo stood a little ways away. 

        “Yeah Ghostbur. Do continue.” Quackity grinned, his missing tooth sticking out from his last encounter with Toothpick. Ghostbur wilted a little bit and his eyebrows creased on his forehead, he fucked up didn’t he? 

        “I-um nothing actually I misspoke.”

        “Did he misspeak Fundy, cause to me it sounds like we have new leverage against Technoblade.” Quackity laughed a crazed look in his eyes, “Once again Ghostbur I have to thank you for the great information.” 

        “You’re welcome…” He murmured weakly, as Quackity stepped besides the ghost. 

        “Get your weapons boys, it’s time to pay the Technoblade household another visit.”

~~~

Hey guys! Pt. III is officially up! Technoblade’s livestreams huh? :) 

Also friendship with Tommy ended Ranboo’s my new favorite child.

As always I love your feedback thanks for reading! 

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

Don't feel like you have to make a list or anything but do you have any specific fic recs? I just really enjoyed that one you mentioned!

OH BOY DO I

Jonny Recommends a Bunch of OP Fics

(i know you said no need to make a list but i’m gonna anyways, here’s a bunch of junk grabbed from the mess that are my bookmarks. most of these will be gen and G/T rated unless indicated otherwise cause that’s how i roll. i feel like i’m not very good at describing things to make them sound appealing but i will try! if nothing else, know i’ve read everything on this list at least two or three times.)

Oneshots, AKA Most of What I Read

Ring Around by Maldoror_Chant - ~600 words - Platonic kisses!! It’s just so goddamn cute please read it.

Underwater by ThisCat - ~1000 words - In which Luffy almost drowns, and thinks about some stuff, and the author has one of the best grasps on his personality and attitude towards death I’ve ever seen. Also every time I reread this I find myself holding my breath, which should tell you something. 

✖ by Faktory - ~1000 words - Vivi gets a tattoo, for remembrance’s sake. We need more Vivi in fic just in general, and this one is just so warm and meditative and lovely.

reach up to me (if you even can) by guiltylights - ~1500 words - Look it’s just a fic about Ace getting to see tiny Luffy post Gear Third and laughing his ass off for a solid five minutes. Good shit. Brothers. 

In Another Life by marimoes - ~1800 words - Hey I know you guys love Doflamingo and Rocinante do yourselves a favor and just read this one? It’s not happy but man it sure is something. Closure? I dunno but it’s good. 

tomorrow never happens by midnightluck - ~2000 words - Pre-canon, Sabo runs into a Vice Admiral who seems to know him for some reason and everything works out pretty well. 

Back So Soon by Moriohno - ~3000 words - Post-canon, Brook keeps his promise, just go read it right now it might make you cry but like for happy reasons. 

A Way to Reach the Future by JadeFlicker - ~3000 words - The Strawhats accidentally land on the frozen wasteland that used to be Ohara. More hopeful than you’d think. Also one of the few fics I can’t read in public because I will cry. 

Interlude for Eight Straw Hats and One Giraffe by Maldoror_Chant - ~4000 words - Kaku has a terrible horrible no good very bad day, and probably has to falsify a mission report. Honestly just hilarious from start to finish. 

paint the flag and fly it high by Codedredalert - ~4000 words - Pre-canon fic about the baby Heart Pirates stealing a submarine, designing their Jolly Roger, and largely failing to paint said Jolly Roger on said submarine. 

disaster in the making (we’re not sorry for it) by guiltylights - ~4000 words - The original fic I recced that prompted this ask, but I’m putting it here again now that I’m making a proper list cause it’s just excellent and needs more appreciation. Law crashes a Shichibukai meeting with a big sack of hearts and Hancock and Doflamingo get to bear witness. 

Deliverance by Sarcasticles - ~7000 words - Listen, I know a lot of you who follow me love Sabo and Koala. Read this fic. Pre-canon, they have their first mission on their own, everything goes wrong, Sabo does some arson, it’s excellent. 

Prospects by BrambleFuzz - ~9000 words - Katakuri joins the long list of people who did not get the heads up that friendship with Monkey D. Luffy isn’t optional once he’s made up his mind about it. Rip.

Birds of Alubarna by kurgaya - ~29000 words - The Strawhats go to a masquerade and that’s kind of all I can say about the plot on this one- and okay listen I know it’s long and also kind of baffling at first but YALL this author’s prose is so floaty and magical and it goes so well with the sort of unreal fantastical nature of events and it’s just good?? It’s just good. Also Vivi is in it and that’s always a bonus.

Chaptered Fics, AKA Half of These are Fix-It Fics and I’m Not Sorry

Lionheart by cyan96 - ~28000 words, Unfinished - tbh I nearly didn’t put this one on the list because I feel like most people who follow me have probably already read it, since I read my tags and I know how many of you love Law and Cora, but, on the off chance you haven’t, go read it rn. Go. Do it. 

Sea of Monsters by WhirlyBird70 - ~32000 words, Unfinished but it’s more like a bunch of short stories anyways - Bunch of fucked up stuff in this one so mind the tags but like, it’s a The East Blue is Full of Demons AU and it’s good weird shit so if you’re into that go read it. 

Small Changes by sweetscentences - ~37000 words, Finished - More Law and Cora. Honestly this one is just… so happy and domestic and good?? Also it’s got baby Heart Pirates, and they’re fucking adorable. (Also the author says they’re working on a sequel, so go support that!)

our shores of starlight (come sailing in) by kurgaya - ~46000 words, Finished - First thing on this list to not actually be gen- it’s Zolu, kinda, but not really focused on that? Mostly it’s just about Zoro. He’s a ghost in a sword, which is absolutely not gonna stop Luffy from recruiting him. I already talked about how great kurgaya’s prose is somewhere above this and that applies here too, it’s just gorgeously written. 

Scylla by missmungoe - ~50000 words, Finished - Technically this one’s not gen either, it’s Makino/Shanks. Makino marries a pirate, becomes a pirate, gets a sword, nearly gives Garp an aneurysm. Please read it. 

Overcoming an Era by Beyond_Kailani - ~60000 words, Unfinished - Ace bumps into a very familiar blonde in a top hat while searching for Blackbeard and ends up dragging him along. Maybe my favorite ongoing fic? I’m a huge sucker for canon divergence with regards to the ASL brothers and this is just, that, and it’s wonderful. 

Within Risk of Reason by Depths - ~60000 words, Unfinished - Another Sabo-centric ASL fix it, I’m a simple woman with simple tastes- but really. It’s got time travel, and crimes, and vaguely dubious adoption. What more do you need? It’s so so good. 

Obligatory Shitty Self-Promotional Note

I’m not narcissistic enough to make a whole nother list here, but I also write OP fic and my ao3 is Origamidragons if you want to check that out! 

[takerfoxx]

In response to JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, my (former) idols

I really didn’t want to have to do this.

So in addition to…=gestures vaguely=…all of that, the last few months have been kind of sucky when it comes to learning some really unpleasant things about artists that I looked up to, admired, and was in fact inspired by. I’ve already spoken about the Speaking Out movement revealing a lot of ugly behavior from various wrestlers, some of which I was big fans of, and then later we got Chris Jericho being a full-on MAGA. Yeah, that all sucked. But those were just performers whose work I enjoyed watching. The one that really hurt were writers who I deeply admired, whose stories I love, and who I was heavily influenced by.

The first, of course, was finding out that JK Rowling, the author of perhaps the single biggest YA fantasy series of all time Harry Potter, is a TERF. This really sucked for a number of reasons. Firstly, I really like Harry Potter! I mean, I’m not a super fan or anything. I came into it when things were kind of dying down, like the whole book series had already been released and there were only a few movies left, but I still really enjoyed it, have all the books and movies and a fair amount of merchandise swag, including a nifty wand I got at Universal Studios. Shit, I got two replicas of the Sword of Griffyindor, thanks to them screwing up my order in my favor and sending me a duplicate! They’re on my wall right across from me as I type this!

But in addition to writing a book series I really liked, JK Rowling was supposed to be one the good guys. She’s been vocally progressive, often openly comes down on British right-wing nonsense, has supported various persecuted minorities, and is on record as being one of the few self-made billionaires to actually stop being a billionaire for a time because she donated so much money to charity. And while we mock it now, her revealing Dumbledore as gay was a huge deal at the time. Plus, she cultivated this reputation as Auntie Jo, that cool, supportive aunt we all wanted.

But for a while her stock has been dropping. Her preference for confirming “representation” via tweets instead of explicitly putting it in the text of her stories has raised the question of queer-baiting, especially with a whole-ass movie with a young Dumbledore and Grindelwald to make their relationship explicit but failing to do so. The whole Nagini thing from the latest Fantastic Beasts movie was pretty gross. And re-examination of various problematic elements from the original novels has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. Now, none of these really looked to be intentionally malicious, of course. Just about everyone’s early work will have problematic elements; that’s just how people work. And the later stuff smacked more of ignorance than anything. But after all this time, it’s like, c’mon. You should know better by now.

But the biggie came when her transphobic views finally came to light. Now, this one had been brewing for a while, due to some questionable likes and statements on her twitter. But then she decided to just go public and published what essentially amounts to a TERF manifesto, one with a very “love the sinner, hate the sin” condescending attitude and had a real persecution complex air to it.

Now, I’m not going to go into detail about what the manifesto was about, what the circumstances surrounding it were, or how wrong it was. It’s already been raked over the coals, dissected, answered, and debunked in detail by people far more qualified than me, so odds are, you’re already well aware of its contents and the subsequent rebuttals. But the gist of it comes down to her basically believing that transwomen are actually cis men claiming to be trans so as to infiltrate and invade female-only spaces.

Yeah.

Okay, that’s gross, but…why? Why is someone so noted for being progressive and wanting to foster an inclusive environment making this the hill of exclusion that she wants to die on?

Well, that’s where things get tricky. She mentions that prior to Harry Potter, her first marriage was highly physically and sexually abusive, and when she escaped from that, she had no place to go, leading her to be homeless for a time.

Oh.

Well, that makes sense. Someone goes through a highly traumatic experience with a member of the opposite sex, has no support structure when she escapes it, is left to fend for herself, only to suddenly get rocketed into fame, fortune, and influence, which in turn leads to a Never Again mentality. She was hurt, no one was there to help her, and now she’s afraid of men invading women-only spaces to victimize others like she was victimized. So…literally transphobic. Literally a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Guys, this is so fucked up. Like, how do you even approach something like this? She’s a victim in every sense of the word, so of course she’s going to have physiological damage and a warped view of things. I mean, if I found out that a close friend of mine went through the same thing and had the same prejudices, I would be nothing but sympathetic! I mean, I’d still do what I can to convince her to overcome those prejudices, but I’d still show sympathy and support for what she went through.

Abuse warps people. There’s a reason why so many abusers are abuse survivors themselves. It makes you terrified of being hurt again and often causes people to adopt toxic behaviors, beliefs, and reactions to protect themselves. I’ve already talked about it at length while discussing She-Ra and its own handling of the cycle of abuse, which included franks discussions of Catra’s horrible behavior, why she was the way she was, while never losing sympathy for her and rooting for her to overcome it. So if JK Rowling is an abuse survivor, is it really right to come down on her for having warped views because of that abuse?

But that’s the problem. See, she isn’t your troubled friend that you’re trying to help. She isn’t your cousin Leslie who’s a really sweet person but unfortunately adopted some bad ideals due to trauma suffered. She JK freakin’ ROWLING, one of the most famous, wealthy, and influential women in the world. She has a platform of millions, if not billions, which means her voice lends credibility to her bigoted beliefs. Alt-righters and other TERFs have already swooped upon this for giving validation to their awful beliefs, which puts trans people even more at risk. And as horrible as Rowling’s experiences might have been, the trans community is often the victim of far worse, and they don’t have a mountain of money and an army of defenders to protect them like she does. I’ve said it time and time again: just because you’re a victim, that doesn’t give you the right to victimize others! And bringing things back to Catra, as much as I loved her redemption in the final season, she was still a TERRIBLE PERSON for a huge chunk of the show, one that needed to be stood up to and stopped.

So yeah. That’s the messiness that is JK Rowling.

Now, let’s talk about the one that really hurts. Let’s talk about Joss Whedon.

I’ve made no secret of what a huge Whedon fan I am. Unlike Rowling, I was a HUUUUUGE superfan. Seeing Serenity for the first time in theaters was akin to a religious awakening to me as a storyteller, making it one of my top three movies of all time. Firefly is my favorite show ever. And I adored Buffy, Angel, and Dollhouse as well. I love Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers. The very first fanfic I ever wrote was a Firefly fanfic that disappeared along with my old laptop. I know his style isn’t for everyone, but I cannot understate how much of a personal inspiration he is to me as a writer.

And like Rowling, Joss was supposed to be one of the good guys! Buffy was monumental in pushing the needle when it came to female empowerment. Will and Tara were groundbreaking as a gay couple. He’s been outspoken for years about his feminist views and beliefs and was seen as one of the most prominent and influential feminist voices in Hollywood!

And then things started to go bad.

One day he was on top of the world, the mastermind behind the first two Avenger movies. And the next, it seemed like he was in freefall. It’s hard to really pinpoint exactly when the change took place. Some would say him being brought in as a last-minute substitute for Zack Snyder to take over on Justice League after Snyder had to leave due to family tragedy, and the subsequent awful critical reception to that film tarnishing his image, even if those were very unique circumstances that couldn’t really be blamed on him. Others might point to Age of Ultron’s less than stellar reception, as well as criticism of some questionable jokes and certain creative decisions regarding the character of Black Widow, which then led to a more critical examination of how Whedon continues to write female characters, as while his work might have been revolutionary in the 90’s, his failure to evolve with the times had meant that many of his portrayals are now woefully outdated and problematic, with his vision for a Batgirl movie getting hit with a lot of backlash as a result.

Again, I’m not going to go into too much detail, as this is all public knowledge and can be easily looked up, but overall it seemed that Whedon entered into a period where he was getting criticized more than he was celebrated, and his image of a guaranteed hit maker was now in doubt.

But all of this wasn’t the big problem. All creators go through rises and slumps, and everyone hits points where they get hit with a barrage of criticism; that’s just part of being a public creative figure, especially a progressive one. And had nothing happened after, it would have probably faded, got forgotten, and Whedon would have moved onto the next project with no fuss.

But as it turned out, it wasn’t just a minor slump in his career. Instead, it was the priming of the pump.

In 2016, Whedon divorced his wife of sixteen years, Kai Cole, and in an open letter, Kai Cole accused him of being a serial cheater, who would have affairs with a great many women, from co-workers, to actresses, to friends, to even his fans. And in addition to raising questions of him possibly abusing his position as showrunner to elicit sex from those working on his projects, there also is the ugly question of how could someone who speaks so highly of women then go and backstab the person who was supposed to be the most important woman in his life, as well as lying to her and denying her the autonomy of deciding whether or not she even wanted to continue to have a relationship with him?

Furthermore, Whedon himself has not explicitly denied these accusations, and comments made by him seem only to confirm them.

Now if you’ll recall, I reacted publicly to this news, and despite my admiration of Whedon’s work, I came down on Kai Cole’s side, and stated that while things like marriage issues and infidelity were no one’s business but that of the couple’s, it did raise a lot of uncomfortable questions about how Whedon treated the women in his life and he really needed to get his shit in order.

But hey, a messy private life and a guy falling into temptation isn’t that big of a deal, right? Plenty of creators also go through multiple marriages and have problems staying faithful and still continue making great art. We’re all human, it’s a stressful job, and this shit just happens, right? Sure, it’s gross and a shitty thing to do, but ain’t no business of ours, right?

In late 2020, actor Ray Fisher, who played the role of Cyborg in Justice League, openly accused Joss Whedon of fostering a hostile work environment, claiming that the director’s behavior was abusive and unprofessional, and that Whedon in turn was protected by DC executives.

DC and Warner Bros. came down against Fisher, claiming they had done an internal investigation that turned up no evidence of wrongdoing (yeah, sure they did), and soon Fisher was out as Cyborg, apparently for rocking the boat.

But then Charisma Carpenter, noted for her important role as Cordelia Chase in both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, then spoke up, claiming to be inspired by Fisher in doing so. She described Whedon did indeed foster a hostile work environment on his projects, that his often acted in a toxic manner, from asking incredibly invasive and inappropriate questions regarding her pregnancy to insulting her on set. She said that she made excuses for him for years, but after undergoing a lot of therapy and reading what Ray Fisher had to say, she felt compelled to speak out.

And this just open the floodgates. Other actors and actresses also came forward, some with stories of their own, others to offer support. Even Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar, confirmed Carpenter’s stories and said that she no longer wanted to be associated with Whedon. Michelle Trachtenberg, who played the character of Dawn, stated that she also experienced toxic treatment from Whedon despite her being a minor at the time, and says that the set had a rule that Whedon wasn’t allowed to be alone with her again, which really raises some sickening questions of what happened the first time. Even male stars have spoken out, from words of support and apologies for not speaking up earlier from Anthony Stewart Head and David Boreanaz, to an earlier interview with James Marsters, in which he described being terrified of Whedon, mainly due to an instance when Whedon was frustrated with the popularity of Marsters’s character of Spike messing with his plans and physically and verbally taking it out on the actor. There have been many corroborating stories of Whedon being casually cruel on set, on seemingly taking delight in making his fellow show writers cry, and even the man himself admitting to enjoying fostering a hostile work environment during his director commentary of the Avengers. We’ve joked about Whedon’s supposed sadism for years, but that was in regards to how he treated the characters in his stories, not the people helping him make them!

So yeah. That’s the problem with Joss Whedon.

So, do I think that Joss Whedon is somehow some kind of sociopath who lied about his feminist principles and deliberately put on a progressive façade specifically to get into a position of power so he could torment people? No, of course not. I think he was sincere about his beliefs, and I do think he didn’t realize the wrongness of his behavior. But that’s kind of the problem. See, it’s one thing to have kind of a trollishness to your nature, a sort of sadistic side. No one can help that. But when someone with that quality gets put into a position of power in which they are protected by both the higher-ups and their legions of fans, they are allowed to mistreat and continue to mistreat people. And by never suffering any consequences, that sort of toxic behavior becomes internalized, becomes a habit, becomes their moda operandi. And when you’re constantly getting praised as a creative genius and a wonderful feminist voice, any self-criticism just gets wiped away, and you think yourself above reproach, leading to what Joss Whedon became and went on being.

And you know what scares me the most about this particular issue? It’s not that I am a fan of his stories. It’s that I can so easily see myself turning out the same way.

Look, I’ll be upfront about it: I’m kind of a sadist myself. You’ve seen it in my stories, you’ve seen me gloating after a particularly dark plot twist makes my readers freak out. That sort of stuff is fun to me. There’s a reason why I have a much easier time in the dark and violent scenes, because I’m channeling something ugly within me. We all have a dark side, and this is mine.

But UNLIKE Whedon, that doesn’t carry over to how I treat people in real life (unless Monopoly or Mario Party are involved, then it’s fair game). Maybe it’s because I wasn’t given the sort of power and praise he did so early, and I was always taught to be considerate of other people’s feelings, but if I ever find out that I hurt another person or went too fair, I feel TERRIBLE, and it just throws me off all day until I apologize. Even if I don’t notice right away that what I said or did wasn’t cool (autistic, remember?), when it’s pointed out to me and I have some time to think on it, yeah, the guilt is on and I make a point to apologize to whoever I’ve hurt. I’ve even made a point to apologize to members of my family for inconsiderate stuff I said years ago as a little punk kid because it wouldn’t stop bugging me.

So maybe Whedon got too big, too fast. Maybe putting people on these sorts of pedestals, especially progressive ones, is ultimately a bad thing.

So where does this leave us? How are we to treat JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, one who developed a lot of transphobia due to abuse suffered while the other became a toxic individual due to unchecked control and a lack of consequences? Can we still enjoy their stories despite them now being colored by their creators’ falls from grace? Can we separate the art from the artist, or do we have to do a clean split?

Honestly, I feel that has to come down to the individual. I can’t remove the influence Rowling and Whedon have had on me as a storyteller, and I still highly respect both of their talents despite taking major issue with their problems as people. And I’m not going go throw away all of my Harry Potter or Firefly stuff. Because that’s my stuff. It has value to me, it doesn’t represent the issues with their creators, and a lot of it was gifts from people who are dear to me. Though I do think it’ll be a long time before I return to either of their work, as I just don’t have the stomach for it now.

But I will be avoiding any projects they have in the future. I don’t want to put money in their pockets that might go on to support their toxic beliefs or behavior. And as for royalties for their past work that would also support the cast and crew of the Harry Potter films or those who worked on Whedon’s shows who do not deserve to lose money because we don’t want any of that money going to the creators? Er, that question is a little above my paygrade. I don’t know. You’ll have to all decide for yourselves. As for me, I still have a lot of thinking to do.

Regardless though, if I or anyone else is still able to enjoy their work, then it’s important to not divorce what these people said or did from the art they created, even if it makes enjoying that art less fun. It’s important to be critical about what we enjoy, to acknowledge the bad aspects along with the good, and open up discussion of those elements, because that’s what mature adults are supposed to do. 

And as for JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, whose stories I love, whose talent I admire, and whose past good work I’ll happily acknowledge, I do hope they both experience some sort of realization and enter into a period of self-examination that leads to them getting help for their issues, for Rowling to get help in coming to terms with her trauma and realizing that she’s wrong about the trans community and a full apology, and for Whedon to also come to terms with his toxic behavior and how he treats people, for him to make no excuse for what he did and sincerely apologize to those he hurt and work on bettering himself, as well as them both examining some of the more problematic tropes still present in their works. Because despite everything, I do feel that they can still be a creative force of good, and it would be a shame if they let themselves self-destruct.

But if not, then if it comes down to choosing between Rowling and the protecting the trans community, if it comes down between choosing between letting Whedon continue to make shows and protecting actors and writers from his abusive behavior, then I know who I’m siding with, and it ain’t the two individuals this whole essay is about. No story, no matter how good, no matter how creative, is worth letting sacrificing vulnerable people in order for it to be made.

[pinnochiro]

pinn reviews - final fantasy xv

a long ramble about final fantasy fifteen that sort of looks like a review, as written by someone who finished the game fifteen minutes ago and needs to get these words out of his head. spoilers inbound.

i'm a pretty big fan of video games. i don't know what my first was, but it was probably either banjo and kazooie or mario kart 64, at my cousin's house when i was very small. i think that video games as a medium are so interesting, since the fact that video games are inherently interactive changes the way that they tell any story. it's a shame that despite loving video games so much, i'm absolutely terrible at them.

i'm absolute dogshit at video games. whenever i boot up something new, i always play on easy mode because. i'm that bad. unfortunately, this means that a lot of video games are simply. impossible for me to beat. that's fine, as at the moment i live with my good friend lizz, who is certifiably Good at Video Games, and so we've been playing video games together for a little bit now. typically this means that she will actually play the majority of the game while i sit with her and watch, but occasionally i'll have a go, but she'll end up with the controller as soon as a boss fight or puzzle or a mechanic i just can't seem to grasp shows up. we recently played through the entirety of the kingdom hearts series together, and this was an absolute blast of a time. i'm glad to say that i adore kingdom hearts now, and it's become one of my hyperfixations, which you might be able to tell from my icon. but we'd finished the kingdom hearts series, and we were left to move onto something else. we'd also played final fantasy 7 remake, so in my wisdom, i suggested that we play another final fantasy game.

we looked through the ff games that were already purchased on our consoles thanks to lizz's uncle, and eventually, we decided that we should play. all of them. however to start, we were going to play final fantasy xv, 15, and work our way backwards through the mainline, single-player games.

i'd heard that xv wasn't very good, but honestly, i was still quite curious. one person who i'd been following on twitter for years was pretty obsessed with the main party members, to the point where i knew their names and what-not even though i didn't have much of an idea what the game itself was about. i remember watching a video by supereyepatchwolf a few years ago about how the game sucked, but i couldn't remember much of the details, and i knew, based on my obsession with kingdom hearts, that xv had started as a different game called final fantasy versus xiiv. i don't know all the details about versus thirteen, but i do know that it was originally helmed by the creator of my beloved kingdom hearts, mr tetsuya nomura, and that after many years, the vast majority of the game was thrown out, nomura wasn't in charge any more, and the whole thing was rewritten and reworked, which sounds like a fairly rough development cycle. but so what, i don't care about gameplay. i want to play the video game with those cute guys that i see fanart of on twitter, and lizz seemed happy enough to play through it with me.

and so we started final fantasy xv. i've been told that since the game was practically dead on arrival, they threw in a bunch of new content and reworked a lot of the early game before i got my hands on it. so my gameplay started with a scene of the four guys fighting some demon dude on fire and they're all old and grotty. whatever, that cutscene ends and we're put into a combat tutorial. that's over and we're on the road in what looks to be central america, pushing a car.

our four leading lads are noctis, the prince of the lucis empire, his best friend prompto, his bodyguard, gladio, and his chef and other things, ignis. i do quite like the main four members of the party in xv. prompto is quite easily my favourite, voiced by robbie daymond of goro akechi fame and with a bunch of fun little animations and quips that make him very likeable. he gets extremely excited at the idea of riding chocobos and has what i considered the best scene of the game, where he and noctis meet on a motel rooftop and discuss prompto's imposter syndrome, since he's only part of noctis' official retinue as his best friend. noctis is a fairly typical main protagonist, he's in love with a woman he hasn't seen in eight years and needs to go marry her or something, i don't care. gladio is a tough macho man with a mullet who wears leather jackets and wields a greatsword, and is apparently only 22, which is at least 10 years younger than i assumed. ignis is a strategist and chef, who takes on the most authoritative role and constantly tells noctis to not drive his car at night. i was not a fan of ignis at the start, but he grew on me, especially with how hard the game hit me with his personal arc. the four boys are off, driving to noctis' wedding in a different country across the desert when their car breaks down. we then run into the first issue of the game.

cindy is a mechanic. she also has her ass and tits out constantly, like your sleazy uncle's shirt with a naked woman was instead semi-alive as a video game person. she fixes your car and acts fairly sexual and it's just like. why do we have to do this. aren't we over overtly sexualised women in video games who have no reason for the way they dress other than the character designer was horny? whatever, i like women as much as the next guy, but cindy's design just. makes me feel so uncomfortable.

anyways you get to do a little driving around with the boys, until you stay the night before catching the boat to your fiance. overnight, you find out that noctis' kingdom has been basically destroyed by an invading empire called niflheim, and practically everyone noctis knows, including his father, are dead. you learn that noctis and his bride to be are also assumed dead, with noctis hearing his own death announcement on the radio. the game has a bunch of added cutscenes that are actually footage from the three-hour-long prequel movie that came out after the game, are extremely hard to follow and honestly i had no idea what i was looking at. anyways, noctis' family is dead, so it's time to do some hunting sidequests.

that brings us to the combat, i suppose. rather than the turn-based or even active turn-based combat that the series is known for, xv opts for more modern action rpg-styled combat. i was, naturally, terrible at this, but i managed to get around it with the fact that. it is almost impossible to die in this video game, provided you have enough items. the game allows you so much time to heal yourself that there's practically no way to have your entire party wipe unless you're doing absolutely terrible, and even then, your party members will probably try and heal you themselves before that happens. lizz tells me that the combat is boring, you just push the same button over and over and then you win. i do appreciate that, for someone like me who is terrible at reading enemy movements, there is a giant button that pops up on screen that tells you when to push the block button, but even then i was prone to fucking it up. whether that's the bad game design or my terrible gaming abilities is up to you to decide. anyways, the game is fairly easy but has annoying combat, your teammates limit breaks will only land about 50% of the time (or never, if you are gladio) and i was still bad at it, so i didn't have all that much fun.

instead of an active levelling system, the game will only tally your character's level ups when you either make camp or visit a hotel. camping is, in my opinion, the only saving grace of this game. each time you make camp, you get to see the characters doing fun little camping activities together and just hanging out, ignis will cook up a new meal in a dramatic fashion and everyone will compliment him and eat it off their coleman's branded plates, it's just very fun. you also get to see what pictures prompto has taken, which is one of my favourite gameplay features. prompto's passion is photography, and while i support him in this wholeheartedly, his picture taking skills are, quite frankly, awful. the game will randomly take shots while you're on the move, which leaves you with a delightful selection of awkward poses, characters hidden behind bushes, pictures taken while someone is half-dead in combat, and snaps where the natural lighting absolutely makes it impossible to tell what's going on. it's hilarious and going through prompto's collection of photos each night is honestly the best part of the game. we managed to wind up with a few shots that, even despite being scripted events, turned out absolutely terrible, and i will cherish those forever.

anyways, since noctis' father and fiance are dead, that leaves him the king of lucis. the only important person to make it out of the capital alive tells you to drive to the middle of nowhere, where he randomly springs on you. hey. go into a bunch of these dungeons and absorb a bunch of swords, this is your destiny as king and how you will defeat the empire. noctis goes, uh, alright i guess, and you're set loose again to wander around for a bit collecting the 'royal arms'. this plot point wasn't explained well but hey, whatever, we're collecting the glowy swords and that's fine.

you're introduced at some point to ardyn, the main antagonist. he's old, kind of groady and wears a fedora. he's a dick to you and talks about his automobeeel. apparently my friend miri thinks he's hot, she is wrong.

i can't remember what happens specifically but you're told that your fiance is still alive and in fantasy venice, and she's talking to the gods on your behalf to borrow their powers. there's a mission where you follow some purple trees that are electric, and you do that i guess. i enjoyed riding the chocobos around, but couldn't care much for the plot at this point. ardyn leads you to a volcano, where you fight a giant lava god. he tries to step on you and i, a denizen of the internet and with an active fear of foot fetishists, was extremely uncomfortable. noctis becomes friends with foot man and a lightning god who lived in those trees, and ardyn steals your car.

very upset by this, noctis and his gang risk everything to sneak into a military base and steal it back. because this is a video game, this works out fine.

there's a little mining city which is all about Girl Power, because all the Women run the Mining Industry like Girl Bosses, and you hang around there for a bit. because all the women are so Empowered, they wear bikinis all the time with overalls over the top. gladio decides he needs to fuck off for a bit, i have no idea what he does since i haven't played the dlc, and then he comes back with another scar. you hang out with his sixteen year old sister, who has a crush on the engaged and 20-year old noctis, and then you drive her to a lighthouse. when she's in your party, she can't really fight, but she gets a pink chocobo and i thought that was very cute. we turned out own chocobo white and lizz named him 'jones' after a mount she has in ffxiv.

eventually, you have a long boat ride over to fantasy venice. this is the part where the game stops being 'fun with a few issues in combat and a rushed and poorly told story.' the open world, which was a main feature with a bunch of little areas to find where noctis can fish, little hunting sidequests and random photo spots where prompto takes touristy photos, is now gone, and it will not return for the entire rest of the game. you can 'go back in time', but the open world was the most enjoyable part of the game, and it kind of really sucks that the main story doesn't let you have any more freedom like that.

after arriving in fantasy venice, you have a talk with fantasy hillary clinton and beg her to let your girlfriend summon a god into the middle of her city. hillary agrees, and you don't get to meet up with your fiance, because even if the game is constantly telling you how much noctis loves her, there is. barely any interactions between the two in the entire game. from what i can tell, they met when noctis was a child and they haven't seen each other in ten years but are still fantasy dog pen-pals. noctis marrying her was supposed to make an alliance or something like that, but her brother has betrayed her to the army. noctis' girlfriend is also an oracle, which means she can heal people, i guess? everyone talks about how important she is and she's constantly telling people that she needs to use her powers to help noctis but she's practically a non-entity.

as can be expected of most female love interests in a game primarily focused on men, noctis' fiance is killed while summoning a god for noctis to befriend. noct gets very mad about this, and turns super saiyan and kills the god back, but his girlfriend is dead and that's super sad you guys. there's a beautiful prerendered cutscene where she says goodbye to noctis but since we barely know her, and we've only been told over and over that they're in love without anything to actually well, show this, it didn't have much of an impact. fantasy venice is destroyed, and ignis is blinded while trying to help calm the giant raging god.

iggy's blindness and how the game makes you account for this and grow to care for him was one of the highlights, in my opinion, as well as crushingly depressing. while i'm not disabled and have no right to say if this was 'good disabled representation' or anything like that, i believe that the game handles it decently enough. the group falls apart as noctis is upset about his girlfriend, gladio is extremely mad that noctis won't care for ignis, and prompto just wants everyone to get along. there's a mission where gladio constantly yells at you passive aggressive things to noctis about how he's a cunt for running, which is obnoxious, but the character arc itself is fairly strong. when you make camp, ignis can't cook anymore, so everyone eats cup noodles in a depressing ass cutscene. ignis remains in your party for the rest of the game despite his disability, and he doesn't magically regain his sight like other fantasy media would do, which at the very least i think is good. i'm not sure what the opinion of actual disabled people is of the character, considering how often disabled characters are either turned into misery porn to make the abled audience be glad that isn't them and if ignis' arc falls into this trap, but i hope that it wasn't handled too poorly, as that would just be another terrible mark in this game's list of bad moves.

the characters eventually make it to the evil empire's capital, which is abandoned and filled with daemons. the characters learn that ardyn is super evil and taught the king of the empire how to turn humans into daemons, which has now happened to the entire city. the 'magitek suits', presumed to be enchanted armour that fights as the empire's infantry, actually house the souls of the human-turned daemons. honestly i like this as a plot point but the game handles it pretty terribly. there could have been more lead up to this, the explanation is pretty lacking, and prompto's Big Plot Twist is. terribly handled. turns out that prompto was born in the empire and was going to be one of those empty soldier daemons, but he was rescued by people belonging to noctis' empire. not that the game tells you that. instead, prompto goes 'turns out i'm one of ... them' and Does Not Elaborate. The game doesn't tell you shit, not about prompto's past, not about how he feels about this, not about how anyone else feels about this either because the other party members just go 'oh that sucks, good thing you're not evil' and the scene ends. robbie daymond tries so hard to sell these terrible, terrible lines, and it almost entirely fails, i'm so sorry prompto. fortunately because i'm a nosy ass, i read prompto's wikia page and knew the plot twist ahead of time, because i don't think i would have even registered it if i didn't.

anyways everyone in the evil empire is dead and ardyn starts talking about how he's immortal and an ancient king of noctis' country but the gods thought he sucked because he's too evil. i missed most of this because the cats got the zoomies and were dashing across the couch right in the middle of his speech so i can't tell you anything else. noctis tries to get a big magic crystal to fight him and instead. gets schlorped inside.

TEN YEARS LATER

yes then ten years actually pass while noctis is asleep. the game shows this by switching the head on noctis' character model to have a beard, but that's it, no changes in animations or whatever. the sky is permanently night and only one human civilisation remains, the rest destroyed by daemons. as a plot point, this ends up feeling. extremely worthless. why was noctis asleep for ten whole goddamn years? so we can wake up and go 'damn it sucks out here'. but it's barely even a like, incentive to fix everything, because you have a long talk with a former child you were friends with where he talks about how humanity is still going fine and everyone's okay and the world has moved on without you. it feels. pointless. when you meet up with your party members, they are exactly as you left them, only with slightly different character models. there is no change in the voice performance, the character's movements or how they talk to show that they've been without you for ten years. they barely mention it. i'm just. so confused as to why they decided that a ten year timeskip was the way to go? since nothing really changes, couldn't you have made it like, two years? one year? six months?? have the characters react a little more? something??? at least if it was only a year or so i wouldn't have to deal with the fact that noctis looks like norman reedus with his shitty facial hair now.

anyways after that there's a bunch of long and boring boss fights. you fight some dead kings for some reason, your party members get a little bit to talk about how cool they are and how much they love noctis, and then you meet up with ardyn. there's another boring boss fight and god this was only a few hours ago but it's already gone from my head. you summon the gods and the old kings to beat the shit out of him after you both go super saiyan again? there's incredible music but it feels barely earned and just kind of eh. anyways, noctis dies, which was the price of using the crystal of light or whatever the fuck. his ghost marries his fiance's ghost finally, and they smile as they look at one of prompto's pictures. you can pick any picture you want to go here, and then the credits roll, showing all of the pictures you saved of prompto's shots. showing me all the pictures at the end is honestly lovely, but it really only served to remind me of how much more fun the game was in the first half. and that's the end, of final fantasy xv.

so what did i think of the story? it's terribly cobbled together and struggles to get you to feel anything and play out all the plot beats. you feel awful for the countless employees who spent years working on the beautiful cutscenes only to have them be in this game, which sucks and the story barely gets through. there were parts that i enjoyed, mostly the thing about the daemons being people, but honestly the rest of it is a mess. it's hard to follow at the best of times and just awkward and terribly written at the worst. the ending is cheap, and it doesn't feel like you've actually accomplished anything. i left that game feeling numb and empty, sad that i'd wasted so much time to end up with such a colossal failure of a conclusion.

i had fun with the game when it was my four little guys running around doing sidequests and camping together. after the midway point of the game, there's none of that, and you're bogged down into a plot that just pushes you from point a to point b and boring overlong bossfight to boring overlong bossfight. the character moments between your party are a lot of fun, but the second you hit fantasy venice, everything is pretty much on rails and you can't do anything except what the game tells you explicitly to do.

should you play this game? no lol. if anything i've mentioned about the story interests you, you'll be better off watching a lore video or reading the wiki. if you do want to play it after all that, just don't proceed after the myrthril refining quest, it's pretty much all downhill from there. will i play the dlc? unlikely, i think lizz and i will just watch a cutscene movie of those.

this game left me feeling empty and numb and not in a fun way. i wanted, so, so hard to like this game, and it all crashed around me in a beautifully overproduced and confusingly written cascade. i love you prompto, but even your cute little freckly face and terrible photography can't save this trainwreck of a game.

tl;dr - final fantasy xv sucks. i hope that 13, our next ff game, will be better.

[thedumbguywithaheart43]

Boomlord weird adventure

Chapter 8 what time is it?

It was early morning in the omnispace void. Boomwood had gotten to the kitchen to start brewing coffee as the footsteps of a yawning purple hair woman enter the room."morning Twilight."Twilight mearly gave him a wave before sitting down. Looked at her noticing the look on her face. To be honest she looked exhausted.'ah shit'he quickly poured a shot glass of the Cuban coffee and handed it to her. She stared at the coffee for a minute."I appreciate the gesture but I doubt this is going to do much for me."good Lord gave out a chuckle."Twilight trust me this is Cuban coffee any more than this and you'll be wired."He gave out a chuckle before Twilight downed the shot, unsurprisingly her face scrunched up. This was probably the most bitter thing she ever had."bleh! Why would you drink something so bitter!"Boomlord shrugged."honestly I only drink it for the caffeine. If it helps I think I have some orange juice in the fridge."Twilight just looked down rubbing her head . Not long after the other girls walked in each of them heading into the fridge grabbing various fruits mostly apples. Pinkie pie was the only one who grabbed something else, looks like she found the flan and was in heaven."oh my Celestia this tastes so good!"At least she wasn't breaking the fourth wall again.

2 After everyone ate they all headed to the living room again."ok girls this is it we are heading to the next world. Now before I go this mission is not meant to be dangerous however the world we're entering can be a bit chaotic so be prepared for anything."The rest of the girls nodded they likely had assumed as much from the previous conversations."so where are we going anyway"dash blurted out as boom pulled out his pen."yeah I'm with Dash partner id hate to go in blind."Aj took a step forward to make her point."we're going to a place called ooo I spent a lot of time there and it's the only place I can really say I have friends anymore...."booms voice got deep as a sorrowful look overtook his face for a minute. This was enough to make Applejack back off. Twilight in particular took a mental note of this.'guess friends are a touchy subject for him.' boom grabbed his notepad An drew another circle, in the center he wrote °adventure Time 1°as always the golden electrical ring formed with a blackened middle. Boomlord jumped into the portal and when he landed his feet were on solid ground. Solid green grassy ground. He surveyed the area around him noticing he was in a grassy clear field however the ends of what looks like old nuclear bombs stuck out overtaken by the grassy plains. The girls enter next each of them still in their same outfits however 4 of the girls had notable changes to them . Twilight and rarity each had a sword at their side. Twilight sword with a sleek and purple short sword with her cutie mark on the hilt. Rarity sword on the other hand looked as if it were made of blue crystal with a white metal hilt her cutie mark also on it. Fluttershy and rainbow Dash had also had the return of their wings which Dash took this opportunity to fly up into the air a bit doing a few loops and swirls."Hell yeah I missed this!"boom couldn't help but smile."Real fly girl up there."a few of them awkwardly smile."so where's our destination?"Twilight asked giving him a quick grin knowing that he's trying his best to make everyone feel better about being in a strange world."we're going to see princess bubblegum at the Candy Kingdom."and just like that he found himself lying on the ground being pinned by pinkie pie."DID YOU SAY CANDY KINGDOM! A KINGDOM MADE OF CANDY IS THIS PLACE PARADISE O.M.C O.M.C."Twilight practically had to pry pinky off of him ."yes the entire Kingdom from the trees to the ground is made of candy including the people."He started to brush himself off as pinky smile only widen."but please don't eat the Candy people or I will probably have to stop you"pinky reluctantly nodded.

3"rainbow do you mind taking an aerial view try to find the place that looks like it's surrounded by Pink cotton candy trees.... Well because it is surrounded by Pink cotton candy trees."boom called out before stopping looking at the ground a large Shadow now loomed over them. It was Spike. All the ponies turn to look back in both shock and horror. Spike mostly remain the same with one slight difference... He was absolutely Giant. His whole body in total was about the size of a two sorry house and his wings could probably cover all of them with ease."oh yeah I forgot dragons are huge here but at least he still looks different from them normally they're just Giant tube dragons with big ass butts."The ponies/girls stared for a moment but in silent agreement they chose not to address it not that Spike would mind he was too busy checking himself out."oh crap I'm HUGE you guys look so small from up here!" It was the most adorable giant grin in the world. Rainbow decided now was a good time to take him to the air as she being flapping her wings disappearing above the clouds. Surveying the land below she was able to make out what looks like pink trees and a large structure that looked somewhat like a castle."guess that must be what I'm looking for."she kept looking around noticing in One direction was a rather large tree that almost looks like it had Windows in it and in the opposite direction she noticed tall mountains made entirely of ice."heh heh heh what do we have here"a voice from nowhere stated in a malicious tone from behind her. Is she turned to look behind her she saw a giant monster with a bat like face and long blue limbs with crooked nails.'OH SHIT'at this point rainbow Dash started nose diving down towards her friends with the creature in pursuit who was maliciously chuckling the entire way down. The rest of the group saw the creature and the girls had various reactions. Applejack rarity and Twilight look like they were getting ready to fight with rarity and Twilight pulling out their swords. Fluttershy and Pinky had decided to stick near Spike who is now using his wings to shield them.Then there was boom standing out in the open as dash passed him and he just smiled. Apon seeing him the creature stopped a look of surprise on our face."hey Marceline it's been a while"the creature began to shrink taking on a human form she had pale white skin and incredibly long black hair which reached down to her feet a simple jacket and jeans and her ,guitar-axe strapef to her back and a nice big floopy hat which covered her in a shroud of darkness. She give out a wide smile revealing her fangs before wrapping her arms around boom giving him a hug."holy glob dude!your back it's been like 4 months!"he returned the embrace from his old friend as the rest of the girls started to calm down noticing that whatever that thing was it seemed friendly at least now it did."oh that's right."he turned to the girls and dragon."everyone this is my old friend Marceline... The vampire queen"a few of the girls jaw started to drop."your freinds with a literal blood sucking vampire?"Marceline shrugged at Twilight comment."actually it's just the color I'm after."Marceline started floating on her back around them."so boom what brings you and your new friends back to ooo."Boomlord got quiet."I found it Marcy.... I found the Rose fire and they're here because Twilight here"pointing at the slightly flustered purple pony girl."is the key to everything."Marceline stopped moving for a moment the words settling in her mind."oh we need to get to the Candy Kingdom right away then."then without word Marceline started floating off towards the direction of the Kingdom and boom followed along with the girls and the giant dragon...... Yeah that might be a problem.

4 After a few hours of walking they all managed to reach the candy kingdom with Spike deciding to hide in the trees to avoid unwanted attention. Pinkie pie look like she was about to go crazy or more crazy."o.m.c so m-much candy!"she was practically foaming at the mouth."look pinky just eat the sidewalk or something just please don't start eating random people I don't want to deal with any drama today especially because we need the princess's help."the pony started walking forward into the rather nice town and to boomlord credit every building and every person was made of candy, And many candies citizens passed by. Mr cupcake crunchy punch bowl guy."wow this is actually really fascinating I can't help but wonder what they're DNA is like how do candy people procreate do they need to breathe or eat its quite fascinating"Twilight then begin rambling about a whole bunch of science jargon that boom did not know but he found himself listening to every word she spoke it wasn't until arsenaline tapped his shoulder that he snapped out of his trance."I see you found a real good friend~"she whispered in a teasing tone."w-what no she's just um cool you know for someone who was a horse the other day."Marceline rolled her eyes."horse or not you always did have a thing for a Smart ones~."boom felt his blood pump. "Oh you're one to talk."Marceline then backed off she knew how far she could go before boom would made her regret it. After a while of walking the group then found themselves at the castle as a pink cared and pink skinned princess in a long pink dress noticed them."oh my! Boom you have returned and with.. many female companions huh"princess bubblegum gave a smirk."oh don't you start now too!" Boom was probably going to say more before pb gave him a warm hug."so I assume this has to do with the rose fire."bubblegum look down at him and while she kept a smile her face was full of worry."yeah Twilight here um it's kind of a long story."bubblegum nodded."it always is."about an hour had passed after this meeting and boom had explained to Marceline and bubblegum how we came to meet the girls and discover the fire leaving out the parts where he burned himself or threw a skillet at Twilight."interesting I'll probably have to run a few scans on Twilight then with her permission."Twilight nodded."good we'll start by using the rejuvenation tank to monitor your body and vitals while I conduct a few scans"boom notice that she was pointing to the large tank filled with water and knew that this meant that Twilight was going to have to strip down which he then took his cue to leave. "I'll be back soon gonna check on stuff."and before anyone could say anything he left the room.

(oh and before I forget I'll be opening asks for boomlord and Friends so if they appear in the story feel free to ask them a question ask box is officially open)

[withthingsunreal]

hey guys

did y’all know there’s a limit to how many links you can have in a post

adventure time masterpost part one

♥=my favourites Ω=significant plot (though sometimes this is not immediately obvious) ♪=a song happens ♫=a personal fave song happens ¿=just don’t try to think about it too hard okay

SEASON SIX

Ω 6x01/6x02 - Wake Up/Escape from the Citadel [WATCH] - Finn and Jake need to get to the Citadel, and Prismo agrees to help. But the Lich beats them to it, and it seems he's got some plans of his own.

♥ 6x03- James II [WATCH] - An excess of James.

6x04- The Tower [WATCH] [alt]- Finn's missing his arm, so he decides to build a tower into space so he can punch his dad and steal HIS arm instead. Solid plan, right?

¿ 6x05 - Sad Face [WATCH] - A circus, and a clown.

♪ 6x06 - Breezy [WATCH] - Finn's flower isn't doing so well, and Finn himself isn't feeling anything, but his new bee friend Breezy wants to help. Stay tuned for spook (me, that's me) starting a petition to retitle this show 'what the hell did I just watch.'

¿ 6x07 - Food Chain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake learn about the food chain by, um, living it.

6x08- Furniture & Meat [WATCH] - Mo' treasure, mo' problems.

6x09 - The Prince Who Wanted Everything [WATCH] - LSPrincess has a story to share with the Ice King, and LSPrince has a lesson to learn from Fionna the Human.

6x10 - Something Big [WATCH] - Something something Maja something Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant something something feelings?? Listen I don't know what I'm watching anymore ok

♪ 6x11 - Little Brother [WATCH] - Shelby has an accident, ends up with a little brother, and turns to Jake for brotherly advice. Well, giving Finn a sword worked out pretty well...

6x12 - Ocarina [WATCH] - Kim Kil Whan buys the treehouse and tries to teach Jake a lesson about responsibility. It goes suuuper well.

6x13 - Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe [WATCH] - Ice King and his fellow offbeats go on a wizard road trip to form their own secret society.

6x14- Princess Day [WATCH] - Breakfast Princess gets rude with LSP. Mistake! Time for her and Marceline to mess up the Breakfast Kingdom way bad.

6x15 - Nemesis [WATCH] - There's a great evil in the Candy Kingdom which must be stopped.

6x16 - Joshua and Margaret Investigations [WATCH] - Finn and Jake's parents fought monsters, too! Even when their mom was way super about-to-pop pregnant, apparently.

6x17 - Ghost Fly [WATCH] - Jake kills a fly, because flies are disgusting. But ghost flies seem to be worse. Oops?

6x18 - Everything's Jake [WATCH] - Bender searches inside himself and finds that Fry has been with him all along Jake goes on an inner journey, but like, literally. not really spiritually so much.

♥ 6x19 - Is That You? [WATCH] - Jake and Finn mourn Prismo, and then things get super bananas up in their dreamspace.

6x20 - Jake the Brick [WATCH] - Jake observes nature as he spends some time as just another brick in the wall.

6x21 - Dentist [WATCH] - Finn's tooth is in real bad shape, and he has to face facts: it is time for him to Go Dentist.

6x22 - The Cooler [WATCH] - There's a crisis in the Flame Kingdom, and FP makes the (objectively terrible??) decision to turn to PB for help.

6x23 - Pajama Wars [WATCH] - Sleepover in the Candy Kingdom! Nothing terrible is happening.

Ω 6x24 - Evergreen [WATCH] - Master Evergreen and his lizardy minion Gunther attempt to save the world.

¿Ω 6x25 - Astral Plane [WATCH] - Finn goes on an astral adventure, and sees some junk that may be relevant soon.

6x26 - Gold Stars [WATCH] - Sweet P starts school, and makes some new (terrible) friends.

6x27 - The Visitor [WATCH] - Finn follows his dream from Astral Plane and finds his least favourite massive disappointment at the end of the trail.

6x28 - The Mountain [WATCH] - It’s a Lemongrab episode. I don’t know anymore.

6x29 - Dark Purple [WATCH] - Susan Strong and some brave hyoomans on a rescue mission.

6x30 - The Diary [WATCH] - Fandom can be a consuming thing. TV finds an old diary and gets a little too into it.

6x31 - Walnuts & Rain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake get separated and go on different (weird) journeys.

6x32 - Friends Forever [WATCH] - Ice King tries to make himself some new friends. It goes terribly.

6x33 - Jermaine [WATCH] - After Jake has a shared dream with Jermaine, the boys go to visit their brother, who’s still living in their childhood home.

6x34 - Chips and Ice Cream [WATCH] - Chips, chips chips chips. Ice cream ice cream. (A travelling performer passes his curse on to Jake. It doesn’t go well.)

6x35 - Graybles 1000+ [WATCH] - Graybles, again, some more. Apparently the Candy Kingdom is still around however much further in the future, and someone’s still putting up string lights at Marceline’s. So there’s that.

6x36 - Hoots [WATCH] - The Cosmic Owl gets distracted by a mystery lady’s pretty set of tailfeathers.

6x37 - Water Park Prank [WATCH] - Finn and Jake (and the Ice King) spend the day at the water park.

6x38 - You Forgot Your Floaties [WATCH] - Magic Man, up to his usual biz, but this time he’s getting a helping hand from Betty. No way this will go horribly wrong??

6x39 - Be Sweet [WATCH] - For some inexplicable reason, Tree Trunks thinks LSP is a good choice for a babysitter. Yikes.

6x40 - Orgalorg [WATCH] - Gunther and the Gunts throw a houseparty.

6x41 - On the Lam [WATCH] - Martin finds another group of adorable creatures to try to exploit. yay.

6x42/6x43 - Hot Diggity Doom/The Comet [WATCH] - An election in the Candy Kingdom, and an impending catastrophe.

SEASON SEVEN

7x01 - Bonnie & Neddy [WATCH] - The King of Ooo continues his efforts to be the worst. PB has to help someone important to her get back to where he belongs.

7x02 - Varmints [WATCH] - Bubblegum tries to protect her pumpkin patch; Marceline lends a hand.

7x03 - Cherry Cream Soda [WATCH] - A candy citizen comes back from the dead, causing some complications for those he’d left behind.

7x04 - Mama Said [WATCH] - While out on a mission for the King of Ooo, Finn and Jake run into Billy’s ex-gf Canyon and decide to help her out instead.

7x05 - Football [WATCH] - BMO tries to do something nice for a friend. It does not go well.

7x06/7x07 - Stakes: Marceline the Vampire Queen/Everything Stays [WATCH] - Marceline has a favour to ask of PB, which results in her reflecting on the last thousand years of her life.

7x08 - Stakes: Vamps About [WATCH] - Marceline’s old nemeses are back, and she’s absolutely down to take ‘em all on again.

7x09 - Stakes: The Empress Eyes [WATCH] - Targeting the Ice King? Possibly not the greatest plan a vampire could have.

7x10 - Stakes: May I Come In [WATCH] - Jake finds his courage.

7x11 - Stakes: Take Her Back [WATCH] - Marceline’s out of commission, so it’s up to Finn and Jake to take on The Moon.

7x12 - Stakes: Checkmate [WATCH] - Four down, one to go.

♫ 7x13 - Stakes: The Dark Cloud [WATCH] - Marceline has to decide what she’s fighting for.

7x14/7x15 - The More You Moe/The Moe You Know [WATCH (watermarked)] - It's BMO's birthday, and a special guest is coming with a special mission for our lil robot buddy. yay?

7x16 - Summer Showers [WATCH] - Viola helps LSP put on a play, and Jake is super proud.

7x17 - Angel Eyes [WATCH] - BMO bribes Finn and Jake into playing cowboys and bandits.

7x18 - President Porpoise Is Missing! [WATCH] - An undersea authority figure appears to have vanished.

7x19 - Blank-Eyed Girl [WATCH] - Urban legends may or may not be baloney, and may or may not be out to get you.

7x20 - Bad Jubies [WATCH] - One heck of a storm brewing up some real nasty vibes.

7x21 - King's Ransom [WATCH] - Ice King isn't going to let anything stop him from rescuing his best bud, and Finn and Jake have got his back.

7x22 - Scamps [WATCH] - Finn rehabilitates some bad seeds.

7x23 - Crossover [WATCH] - Prismo needs Finn and Jake’s help with a junked-up timeline.

7x24 - The Hall of Egress [WATCH] - A dungeon keeps hitting the reset button every time Finn tries to exit.

7x25 - Flute Spell [WATCH] - Does Finn have a new girl in his life, or is he working on a different sort of magic?

7x26 - The Thin Yellow Line [WATCH] - It Is Okay To Be You, ft. The Banana Guards

7x27 - Broke His Crown [WATCH] - Bonnie and Marcie try to have a dinner date with the IK, but his crown is up to some weird biz.

7x28 - Don’t Look [WATCH] - Finn fails to follow the literal only instruction given.

7x29 - Beyond the Grotto [WATCH] - Sea lard rescue 911

7x30 - Lady Rainicorn of the Crystal Dimension [WATCH] - TV finds a weird box.

7x31 - I Am A Sword [WATCH] - FinnSword gets straight up hijacked.

7x32 - Bun Bun [WATCH] - Remember how Cinnamon Bun used to be... just, like, generally bad? at doing things? okay that but smaller.

7x33 - Normal Man [WATCH] - Normal Man needs some hero help to return Glob to Mars.

7x34 - Elemental [WATCH] - An... ice... princess? kinda??

7x35 - Five Short Tables [WATCH] - Fionna and Cake try to make some artsy-ass flapjacks.

7x36 - The Music Hole [WATCH] - Music happens, some of it on a stage.

7x37 - Daddy-Daughter Card Wars [WATCH] - Charlie helps her Papa work through some card-related stuff.

Ω 7x38/7x39 - Preboot/Reboot [WATCH] - Finn, Jake, and Susan visit a very scientific establishment.

SEASON EIGHT

8x01 - Two Swords [WATCH] - So when a FinnSword and a Grass Sword meet... sometimes some stuff can go the hell down.

8x02 - Do No Harm [WATCH] - Finn and Grass Finn try stuff out.

8x03 - Wheels [WATCH] - Jake tries to connect with his granddaughter by proving he’s cool.

8x04 - High Strangeness [WATCH] - Tree Trunks loves... revolution (｡•`_´•｡)

8x05 - Horse and Ball [WATCH] - James Baxter rides again.

8x06 - Jelly Beans Have Power [WATCH] - PB tries to get a handle on the elemental powers thing.

Ω 8x07 - Islands: The Invitation [WATCH] - Susan sent out a distress signal, and a response has arrived.

8x08 - Islands: Whipple the Happy Dragon [WATCH] - Hazardous seas, or Here There Be Dragons.

Ω 8x09 - Islands: Mysterious Island [WATCH] - Finn gets separated from his friends, but makes a new one.

Ω 8x10 - Islands: Imaginary Resources [WATCH] - BMO helps Finn and Jake get acquainted with the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of virtual reality gaming.

Ω♪ 8x11 - Islands: Hide and Seek [WATCH] - Memories of island life.

Ω 8x12 - Islands: Min & Marty [WATCH] - Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens get to know each other.

Ω 8x13 - Islands: Helpers [WATCH] - Finn meets his mom.

Ω 8x14 - Islands: The Light Cloud [WATCH] - The conflicting desires to protect your child while also allowing them to grow and thrive.

SEASON NINE

9x01 - Orb [WATCH] - Some very normal dreamscapes on the return journey to Ooo.

9x02 - Elements: Skyhooks [WATCH] - The boys make it home but things are looking... different.

9x03 - Elements: Bespoken For [WATCH] - The Ice King has a story to tell about a hot date he had, and also tangentially the current state of things.

9x04 - Elements: Winter Light [WATCH] - A visit to the Ice Kingdom.

9x05 - Elements: Cloudy [WATCH] - Finn needs to calm down, and Jake needs to potty.

9x06 - Elements: Slime Central [WATCH] - It's Slime Time baybee

9x07 - Elements: Happy Warrior [WATCH] - A normal one in the Flame Kingdom.

9x08 - Elements: Hero Heart [WATCH] - LSP tries to help Finn listen to his hero heart, while PB just wants everyone to be a little bit sweeter.

9x09 - Elements: Skyhooks II [WATCH] - Let's Get Lumpy.

9x10 - Abstract [WATCH] - Jake is wary of some changes in Jermaine.

9x11 - Ketchup [WATCH] - Marceline and BMO catch up on recent events.

9x12 - Fionna and Cake and Fionna [WATCH] - Ice King gets to hang with the REAL Fionna.

9x13 - Whispers [WATCH] - Finn and Fern help Sweet Pea with some nightmares.

9x14 - Three Buckets [WATCH] - Finn and Fern spend some uhhh quality time together

SEASON TEN

10x01 - The Wild Hunt [WATCH] - Huntress Wizard needs some assistance, and Finn has some junk to work through.

10x02 - Always BMO Closing [WATCH] - BMO and Ice King team up to become a door-to-door salesman.

10x03 - Son of Rap Bear [WATCH] - FP needs to work on her rap game.

10x04 - Bonnibel Bubblegum [WATCH] - Family junk is complicated.

10x05 - Seventeen [WATCH] - It’s Finn’s birthday! Let’s get Arthurian up in here.

10x06 - Ring of Fire [WATCH] - The marvelous misadventures of Tree Trunks.

10x07 - Marcy + Hunson [WATCH] - Marceline’s dad is in town and totally embarrassing her again.

10x08 - The First Investigation [WATCH] - Finn and Jake look into some haunted happenings at Joshua and Margaret Investigations

10x09 - Blenanas [WATCH] - Finn wants the highest possible authority to weigh in on whether or not he is funny.

10x10 - Jake the Starchild [WATCH] - Jake’s gotta save the world. No, a different one.

10x11 - Temple of Mars [WATCH] - Jermaine and Finn gotta rescue Jake, and in the process maybe help Betty work through some things.

10x12 - Gumbaldia [WATCH] - Peace talks.

♥Ω♫ 10x13 - Come Along With Me [WATCH] - Everything stays, but it still changes.