#it was a 7 to 10 day shipping window and we're on like. day 14

[freshcut-chetney]

oh my goddd did it really take almost a full week for my order info to even be processed and sent to fulfillment

[vixstarria]

Writer interview

Tagged by @bardic-inspo - aww thank you! ❤

Tagging @spacebarbarianweird (although I know you have heaps outside of AO3 / original works, so may be a bit tricky), @tragedybunny and @ineadhyn (no pressure!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17, but some are multi-chapter. All BG3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

38,869 - I'm just a baby

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A remedy for sleeplessness - Smut. My very first smut, which I also think is my worst, written purely for shits and giggles. 🤷‍♀️

A night at the inn - Smut. Halsin threesome trilogy. This one I actually appreciate having a lot of kudos on.

Missionary with the lights off - Smut, also written for shits and giggles.

Intimacy - Not smut! But does have smut elements.

Seeing stars - You guessed it. Smut.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Oh absolutely. I appreciate every single one of them (and they are so hard to come by!). Also all this, whether tumblr or AO3, is a community - I don't think any of us what to feel like we're just shouting into the void.

(psst, if you are a reader and you think you don't have anything worthwhile to say, or that you're annoying the writer or whatnot - rest assured that is NEVER the case - every single little thing even if it's just a string of emojis is appreciated, and absolutely makes my day)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angst, and especially not angsty endings. I stick to fluff, humour and smut (or a combination of the three). I do add angsty elements sometimes, and so far the ones that touched the most on it are Down by the river and Intimacy - both dealing with Astarion's trauma.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They all have happy or hopeful endings. The absolute happiest mushiest one is Confession

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, at least I haven't yet.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, I haven't done anything controversial enough to warrant anger, I think.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Boy do I! All I've been able to write lately seems to be smut, tbh.

I've done a lot of Astarion x f!Tav, sometimes with a third character thrown in. Nothing too crazy.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Probably not.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, I don't know that I would be a great writing partner tbh - sometimes trying to get words out of my brain is like squeezing water out of a rock - I'd hate to let anyone down.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Astarion x my OC has been consuming my mind lately, I suppose I'm going to have to count that.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't know whether I should count it as a WIP, but I've been playing with the idea of having my OC and Astarion have threesomes with all the other companions (we're skipping Karlach because I HC that they're besties of the variety you do not have sex with).

I've recently done one with Wyll, as well as Halsin (twice, actually, and I'll do it again!). Maybe it's time to go for a M/F/F, I haven't done that yet... Hmm...

15. What are your writing strengths?

Going by what I personally find the easiest / am most confident with - dialogue. It's also the funnest part of writing for me, and I've had a fair share of compliments specifically for the banter, or for getting the characters' voices right.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I can write banter all day, and I'm okay at getting inside a character's head and getting their emotions out, but ask me to describe a sunset (room / dress / whatever) and I'll probably just cry and jump out a window.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm not a fan of this as a reader (occasional words or phrases are okay, if there's a footnote with a translation), and I don't add it as a writer. I tend to just generalise with "he swore in elvish" and similar.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy 8. I wrote little comedic tidbits. (well, 12 year old me thought they were funny, anyway) I don't think any of it has survived to this day.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I don't have any fandoms on my mind besides BG3, but as I've said in no. 14 above, I want to write something M/F/F.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm, this changes constantly... Ultimately this will hopefully be my longfic that I'm working on.

I think it's a tie between the pure debauched horniness of A night at the inn and the more mellow Seeing stars which also showcases my OC's relationship with Astarion and all the things I think I do best.

[rorywritesjunk]

(set in the au with Buggy's older sister, takes place after the little ficlets of the 24 hours since the execution. I'm also decompressing from the last few days at work and needed some fluff for these two.)

pt 1 + pt 2 + pt 3 + pt 4 + pt 5 + pt 6 + pt 7 + pt 8 + pt 9 + pt 10 + pt 11 + pt 12 + pt 13 + pt 13.5 + pt 14 + pt 15

pt 1

"Wait, we're stopping where so you can meet with who exactly?" Buggy demands from the captain after he was just told what was going on. The older man laughed, clapping Buggy on the shoulder. He shrugged the hand off with a glare. He was only on this crew until he earned enough to get his own. No one needed to touch him.

"I have to see Miss Pins about my pants. They aren't fitting the way I'd like them to." The old man told him with a chuckle. "We're stopping for a week. The island is a pirate safe haven so you don't need to be scared, young man!"

"I'm not scared!" Buggy shot back, but he was a little nervous. Sunny worked for Miss Pins, or at least she did when they met and she took care of him. If he goes with the captain to the shop, will she be there? Will she even remember him or were those just kind words she was saying to him with no meaning behind it? He didn't know if he wanted to see her. He wasn't a well known and flashy pirate yet, he was just a crew member.

"You can come along if you'd like, Buggy!"

Buggy didn't know if he wanted to, but he nodded, clenching his fists, suddenly feeling anxious about seeing Sunny again. It had only been a few months but he still thought of her regularly, of her kindness to him when he was a mess of emotions after losing the important people in his life all in one day.

And she didn't ask for anything in return from him.

~

It took a few days to arrive. The crew was happy to get off the ship and stretch their legs for a week. Buggy was waiting for the captain to take him to the shop. He had taken the time to wash his face, brush his teeth, and brush his hair before throwing it back into a pony tail. He wanted to look good for Sunny, to show he could take care of himself and he was doing better.

The captain finally came out of his quarters, the pants he needed fixing draped over his arm. He beckoned Buggy to follow him and the teenager did, walking alongside the captain as he pointed out shops, pubs, and other things to Buggy should he need anything while they were there.

Once they arrived at the shop, Buggy took a moment to look at it. There were flowers in the window boxes, the front was painted a light purple color, and it just... Didn't really fit into what he expected in a place known for a pirate safe haven. He felt this shop would do better in a town where people had money and wanted to see cutesy things.

That feeling vanished the moment his Captain opened the door and someone came barreling out. A bullet followed after the pirate, piercing through the top of his hat as he screamed he was sorry as he ran.

"Ah, yes, don't make her mad. She has good aim." Was his captain's warning to Buggy as they stepped into the shop.

There was an older woman standing in the middle of the shop with a shotgun with two young women sitting at a table sewing while another stood behind her.

"Damn pirates, thinking this is a brothel." The old woman muttered as she went to put the gun away. "Next time I'll shoot him in the ass." She looked up at Buggy and the captain, giving them both a look over. "What can I do for you?"

"Miss Pins, I was hoping-"

"Buggy?!" The girl who had been behind Miss Pins rushed forward suddenly, throwing her arms around Buggy. "It's you! You're here!"

He couldn't believe he didn't recognize her at first. Buggy's torso and arms detached from the impact from her hug before snapping back together and wrapping his arms around her. She was very touchy, had her hands on him frequently when they first met, checking in with him and making sure he was okay. It... Was a little weird at first but Buggy found he didn't mind it from her.

Now he had her in his arms. She was hugging him like they were lifelong friends and it had been ages since they last saw each other.

When she pulled back, smiling brightly at him, she glanced over at her boss as she took Buggy's hand in hers. "I'm going to take my break, Miss Pins!"

Her boss looked at Buggy, reaching for her gun once more. "If you must."

Remembering what he just saw moments ago, Buggy was fine with Sunny dragging him out of the shop and into the sunshine. He didn't quite know what to expect but honestly, he was just happy to see her again.

[afaramir]

20 questions for writers!

tagged by @emyn-arnens literally over a month ago and im finally getting to it now lol much love thank you for continuing to tag me in things even though im the worst at doing them sometimes.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 65 (15 of them are under my archive pseud though lol)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 265,381

3. What fandoms do you write for? actively writing for lotr, pacific rim, my secret little marvel rarepair

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? these are so funny they're all my avatar work from before i remade on this blog. well throwback i guess. they're still dear to me.

open arms, atla sokka coming out to his dad

earth system history, atla sokka/zuko college au where zuko is an earth scientist

[redacted h*rry p*tter work from 2016]

love's not for show, atla bato/hakoda sokka creates a master plan to get his dad and bato to admit that theyre dating but they're NOT

knife loves heart, human loves human, james bond 007/q post-spectre fixit fic (my Only 00q and possibly also my only fixit fic?)

5. Do you respond to comments? i try so so so hard but the executive function that allows me to say anything coherent only comes around every so often lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? a couple contenders for this one but if we're talking strictly the ending probably i'm not leaving (til we make it home) (exu calamity patia & laerryn / patia & the ring of brass exploring her relationship with love and loneliness and finally being free to express how much she loves her friends only in the last hours of her life and dying happy for it).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? also a couple contenders for this one but i feel like many of them are tinged with not a small amount of melancholy. so we are going with a big throwback to sun through open windows (atlok mako/wu plotless little morning routines fic that is about nothing in particular but also about realizing you have everything your younger self thought you would never have).

8. Do you get hate on fics? not in a long long time (like probably 7-8 years) thank god!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes although none of it is published (yet). what kind? idk man whatever im horny about this month. ok but for serious. really been into character developing smut. do u know what i mean. i’m telling you something about who each of these people are and how they view each other through the way they fuck. this probably says quite a lot about me

10. Do you write crossovers? i'm not much for the kind where characters from different franchises Interact, but i am partial to taking some guys and translating them to a different setting. ah to put characters in a situation and watch as the fundamental core of their being stays the same....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? hope not lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that i'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! we have not finished it but it's absolutely CORE thesis-level influential on my entire psyche. even if we never get back to it i'll think about it until the day i die and that is not an exaggeration.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? of ALL TIME? i straight up dont know if i can answer this one. ALL TIME???? my long-term emotional permanence is NOT good enough and my recency bias is too strong for this. ok i think the only way i can answer this is with the ship that has gotten the deepest into my psyche and my soul. which is yancytendo pacific rim. they. affect me. on a level i will probably never be able to fully explain. the 'giving a guy built only to be a thematic device a personality and a history and deep gut-wrenching grief' of it all. the 'you are in love with a guy who is doomed by the narrative and despite your best efforts it means that he is a personification of all the grief you carry inside of you' of it all. yancy becket you will live forever in my heart tendo choi you will ALWAYS be famous. augh. yeah i picked right

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hmm probably something about the way you look tonight, my mallorytanner thesis statement fic, the genesis of which was genuinely a life-altering event to me. i was listening to the titular elton john song walking home from a general chemistry exam in the snow and i was struck so violently with An Image for truly the first time in my life. truly not ONCE before that moment had that happened to me. this was in my freshman year of college this fic has existed in various forms for going on FIVE YEARS. will it ever be done. GOD i fucking hope so. i actually do hold out hope for that one.

the one i am actually hopeless on ever finishing is orogenesis, the sprawling expanded stemverse pianjeong backstory au fic. the whole structure of it is quite clear in my head actually. i just didn't have the life experience to create the plot structure to go with the emotional beats when it generated itself in my mind in 2020-21 and now that i DO have it the problem is that the inciting event is incredibly clear to me and yet bears too close of a resemblance to. personal events and horrors. for me to ever finish it! i'll think about it forever though. creating and writing that au changed my life for real it was the longest thing i'd ever written and the best when i wrote it and it's still very close to my heart.

16. What are your writing strengths? characterization and character development baby. evocative use of metaphor in descriptions of both character and setting. lavish description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. cant create that from my brain and i rarely attempt it. i have plenty of stuff to write about that does not require it. relatedly not great at worldbuilding.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? generally don't do it much except for a stray word or two. i don't mind reading it though! tolkien fic writers who translate full sentences you are god's strongest soldiers.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ough this one will be embarrassing. entering the archive pseud. wait is it also tolkien that's funny. life is a circle in some ways. this is first fandom on my ao3 account btw. the VERY first one i wrote for...i will take that knowledge to the grave.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ah i feel like my answer for this one changes every time but i can't help it, i love many of my darlings equally. this time im giving the spotlight to life holds onto you, my chris pike & jim kirk post-star trek 2009 fic that is a few thousand words of 'what if your sort of son feared that you thought he was taking everything you ever wanted from you and he is right that you have thought that but you are learning how wrong you are.' i cried in the university library writing it and reread it recently and remembered it was good. recency bias baby

tagging the usual suspects @potatoesandsunshine @aaronstveit

[zoeykallus]

Crosshair – My Beloved Enemy 36 - The Toll It Takes

Warning: Angst / Hurt / Tension / Violence / Threats / Fluff

______________

The situation is tense, and so is the mood among yourselves. Danger is omnipresent and hope is in short supply. Together, you, Crosshair, Tech and Wolffe try to free Echo and escape from the imperial cruiser. Once again, things take a different course than expected.

______________

What Happened Before:

Part 1 - Crash Landing

Part 2 - Hot And Cold

Part 3 - Hello Kitten

Part 4 - Look Who’s Back

Part 5 - Rebel Darling

Part 6 - Burning Anger

Part 7 - Love And Pain

Part 8 - A Difficult Reunion

Part 9 - The Bitter Taste Of Blood And Failure

Part 10 - Where The Dead Ships Dwell

Part 11 - A Lonely Firefly In Space

Part 12 - Broken Wings

Part 13 - A Helping Hand

Part 14 - The Justifier

Part 15 - The Bounty

Part 16 - Trapped

Part 17 - I Love You Too

Part 18 - When The Past Catches Up With Us

Part 19 - I’ve Never Been Good At Goodbyes

Part 20 - Unexpected

Part 21 - The Question

Part 22 - Sleepless Nights

Part 23 - Sleepyheads And Making Up

Part 24 - Crosshair’s Conclusion

Part 25 - Good Soldiers Follow Orders

Part 26 - I’m Sorry Kitten

Part 27 - Bracca

Part 28 -Rampart

Part 29 - It’s All Tactics

Part 30 - CT 6116

Part 31 - Of Wolves And Sheep

Part 32 - Dying Hope

Part 33 - Hero Of The Day

Part 34 - When The Wolf Eats The Sheep

Part 35 - The Shepherd

Part 36 - The Toll It Takes

You were so nervous, unsettled, and tense as you walked between Tech and Crosshair through the hallways. Crosshair was in front of you keeping an eye on Wolffe, Tech was behind you to watch over you as Crosshair had asked.

You could run into Troopers at any moment, could be caught at any moment, killed or overpowered and put back in a cell. Your heart was pounding up to your throat.

"We need to get to one of the hangars and steal a ship, the pods won't be enough, we won't get far with that. We need something that is hyperspace capable," Tech said behind you.

Crosshair growled in agreement.

"Will we even get far enough to initiate a hyperspace jump? What about the tractor beam?" you asked doubtfully.

Tech said calmly, "On the way to the hangar we'll pass one of the engine rooms, from there I might be able to make sure the beam won't be operational until we're gone."

Wolffe looked back and said, "Otherwise we won't get away for sure, so this has to work, otherwise we can go right back to the cells."

You looked around uncertainly and frowned.

"Shouldn't there be a lot of people out and about? Where is everyone?"

Crosshair grumbled, "I don't know, but right now we're lucky there's no one running around.

You turned another corner and approached the engine room.

In the engine room were two guards that Crosshair and Wolffe quietly took out so Tech could get to work.

"Hurry up Tech, things may be quiet right now, but I'm sure it won't stay that way all the time," Crosshair speculated.

"Don't worry, it won't take long," Tech assured him.

And he was right, it didn't take a minute before Tech gave you the signal to run on. Except for a mouse droid, no one crossed your path. You couldn't shake the feeling that something was up, something was wrong.

When you reached the hangar, you knew at least partly what was going on. From a safe distance, you observed the large hangar from a viewing window. Troopers stood there in rows, entire platoons, about to board troop transports and fighters.

"It looks like they're about to launch an invasion," Wolffe grumbled seriously.

Crosshair nodded slowly and asked, "Tech, did you happen to see where we are in Engineering?"

"Corellia, if I'm not mistaken".

"So the Empire is invading Corellia?" asked Wolffe.

Tech said, "What we see seems to indicate that, but I can't say for sure"

"What do we do now?" you asked nervously "There's no way we can get into the hangar unseen and if we wait until they're gone, there may not be any ships left to steal."

Crosshair grabbed your hand and pulled you close.

"Don't panic, we'll get out of here, we just need a little more patience and not to lose our nerve. Okay?" he spoke to you.

You nodded silently.

Crosshair kissed your cheek and said, "I won't let them lock you up again, or hurt you."

"You won't be able to stop that."

The voice made you all spin around. Rampart stood there with a small group of troopers, a smug smile on his lips.

"You didn't really think it would be that easy did you?" he asked, laughing softly.

Frozen in place, you all stood there, you were clinging to Crosshair's arm as he pushed you behind him.

"I already have a wonderful idea for a punishment too," Rampart said enthusiastically "I'll give CT 9904 a new chip and let him torture the girl, maybe we'll spice it up with some rape altogether and I'll let the other two watch for now.... But maybe they'll get new chips later too."

Crosshair felt his stomach turn, he would rather die than let that happen.

Even the troopers exchanged confused and startled looks, even if it could only be guessed at thanks to their helmets.

"The fuck you will!"

Wrecker's rumbling voice had never seemed so wonderful as it did at that moment. In the next second he also appeared, grabbed one of the troopers and threw him into his colleagues like a bowling ball. Hunter popped up right behind him and stunned the fellows on the ground with his blaster.

Something was different about Wrecker, his face, you had never seen him angry as far as you could remember.

But here and now he was clearly angry. His eyes fell on Crosshair, Wolffe, Tech and you, he saw how beaten up you all were and his gaze lingered on your face for a second and seemed to soften, only to stiffen into angry expressionlessness a second later.

Wrecker lashed out and knocked Rampart across the room, he hit the ground and lay motionless. Maybe he was dead, maybe just unconscious, you couldn't tell.

"We have to go!" said Hunter seriously "Rex is waiting in the Marauder. We jammed their radar to dock at one of the emergency docks with the Marauder, however it's unclear how long we can maintain that, so hurry!"

Crosshair pulled you along, you all hurried after Hunter together, and Wrecker kept giving you worried looks.

"What about Echo?" you asked in horror, but Hunter calmed you down.

"He's already on the Marauder, Wrecker carried him, they took all his prosthetics off, he's helpless right now as a result, but safe"

"Rampart is a psychopath" Wrecker growled "I should have made sure and broken his neck"

You were limping because Wolffe, under the influence of the chip, had kicked your knee among other things. Wrecker pulled you away from Crosshair and took you in his arms. The Sniper glared at him, but Wrecker calmly said, "You'll have her back in a minute, I just want to make sure we're moving fast enough."

Crosshair finally nodded growling and kept running.

It wasn't until you boarded the Marauder, it detached from the cruiser and jumped into hyperspace, that you allowed yourself to take a breath.

Wrecker gently lowered you back down and tenderly stroked your head.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you ad'ika," he said softly.

You stood on your tiptoes and he leaned towards you a little as you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You were there to free us, that is already much more than I dared to hope for".

You finally turned to Echo who was lying in his bunk. Crosshair followed you and you both knelt beside the bunk.

"How are you brother?" asked Crosshair critically.

Echo shrugged his shoulders with a sad smirk and said, "Better than you by the looks of it, with me they only hurt my pride, but you they seem to have put through the meat grinder.

"Where's Omega?" you heard Tech ask in the background.

"Safe," Hunter said "We're flying to her now. Ahsoka is with her to protect her, just in case."

You looked at Crosshair and said "Is it okay if I go take a shower?"

He paused but then nodded.

"You want me to go with you?" he asked, probably for the first time not having an ulterior motive.

"I need a few minutes to myself."

Crosshair nodded slowly, "Okay, Cyare."

As soon as the refresher door closed behind you, the events took their toll. Your whole body shook and you began to cry, straining to suppress your sobs so no one would hear you as you undressed and turned on the shower.

@twinkofthedink

@tazmbc1

@kristinainspace

@ladykatakuri @inthemoshpitt

@whore4rex

@anndraco0523

@revan-posting

@dwarfnip

@ben-is-a-hoe

@ttzamara

@ilikemymendarkandfictional

@kaminocasey

@brynhildrmimi

@photowizard17

@moondust-24

@clone-whore-99

@dumfanting

@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

@moonstrider9904

@chxpsi

@nunanuggets

@andyoufollowyourheart

@kaliel2310

@eternalwaffle

@misogirl828

@tech-deck

@thebahdbitch

@meshla-madalene

@ladykatakuri

[mysterylover123]

Mysterylover watches Bleach episodes 243-244 "Goofball Hime Returns!"

1. NEW OP! The highlights of this one include a look at our stylishly dressed and sexy new cast of villains, and a hero lineup that includes a badass Orihime wielding some kind of weapon. Sadly, none of the Soul Reaper characters. I'm sure they'll return eventually, but I guess this is the Humans Only arc.

2. OOH, Ichi reveals there's been a time skip and he's now a senior! And Hime and Chad revealed to everyone that Ichi's a superhero, so no more secret identity crap. Except he doesn't have a secret id anymore. OK...

3. OOH and Ichi's sisters are getting powers now! Cool, are they gonna fight this arc? AND IS THAT TATSUKI WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR HAIR GIRL?!

4. Ooh and Uryuu's back in focus since he's the only one with powers left. And Ichi's missing Rukia, who - DAMMIT - hasn't showed up to visit her other human friends. Seriously Ruki?

5. OOH and we're dealing with high school stuff. And Ichigo gets good grades? I didn't know that. So he's not the classic, bottom of the class Shonen hero IQ? COOL.

6. "I'm enjoying my quiet retirement" Ichi basically says. Oh damn dude you know that's an invite to IMMEDIATELY have it ripped apart. In film speak that's like saying "DESTROY ME PLOT"

7. And Ichi's still a tough badass, even without superpowers, so he beats up a purse snatcher like the superhero he is. THAT'S OUR ICHI.

8. Though apparently the guy whose purse he saved is evil or something. DAMMIT PLOT HE HAD 3 DAYS LEFT TILL RETIREMENT

9. Tatsuki has a part time job at the dojo! And OOH YES THERE'S MY GIRL FINALLY!! ORIHIME, who struts down the hall like a goddess who everone she passes immediately falls for. And she's got longer hair and she comes in by rolling down a pole!! Tatsuki reprimands her.

10. OMG TATSUHIME IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER. And Ichigo is officially attempting to join their OT3. I legit enjoy all 3 corners of this trio now.

11. ORIHIME IS GETTING TO BE WHACKY AND ECCENTRIC AGAIN. I've missed eccentric Orihime, she's been through so much crap recently we haven't gotten to see her goofing around. And Ichi highlights that her "eyes now look like #3". LOL THIS IS HILARIOUS I LOVE IT.

12. "boss" So Ichigo has a job? And he immediately gets fired. Or quits. And then a gigantic thug team shows up to...threaten him? URYUU SHOWS UP TO THREATEN THEM LIKE A BAMF.

13. And it appears our new villains' boss is a sexy maid. NOICE. And Ichi and Uryuu are bickering about how to handle the thugs in 244. (just kiss already). OOH URYUU IS CLASS REP? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

14. This really is my week for shipping Shonen heroes with their glasses clad, class rep BFFs.

15. And they get beaten up by a BAMF SEXY LADY WHO IS ICHIGO'S NEW BOSS OMG I'M IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WHO ARE YOU SEXY BOSS LADY?! YOU REMIND ME OF IZUMI CURTIS.

16. So we meet Ichigo's boss and determine what his job is. It is very strange. His boss apparently has kids and she is able to flop from sexy badass to loving mom in an instant. I LOVE HER.

17. HER NAME IS IKUMI? Screw I'm just calling her Izumi. THIS IS WHAT COMES OF BINGING FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST AGAIN. Everyone is FMA.

18. YAY BACK TO ORIHIME. "Hey did someone kidnap Ichigo? Do I have to go rescue him?" "Nope just his boss" "Yeah that sounds like Ichigo. Always surrounded by weirdos like you and me."

19. Hime apparently has a 6th Ichigo sense. And Hime has a part time job?! OMG LETS SEE HOW SEXY AND WEIRD HER BOSS IS. Anyway Uryu''s got a stalker apparently.

20. Anyway Ichigo's getting hired to track down his own dad apparently? And Karin is training with Urahara. And she's resolved to protecc her big brother. NOICE. This arc needs to end with all the lady BAMFS lining up to kick some ass.

21. Some shit's gonna go down that'll threaten Ichi's family and our new mullet-haired villain or whatever he is warns him.

22. Orihime comes by his window with bread and is now in Ichi's room feeling awkward. "LOL HIME YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE" says Ichi. Oh, do tell? Also Hime and Ichi are now comfortable bickering a little, which is definitely making me ship them hard.

23. Hime asks if he's being stalked. And Ichi tells her it's ok that she's so inquisitive. Uryu is stalking them and annoyed apparently that Hime is stealing his boyfriend. Then follows our new villain stalker off to see what's up. AND OMG URYU DON'T BE DEAD!!

[ms-rampage]

Eden's Gate: Kidnapped Chapter 13 - Mother

word count: 2,553

warnings: Mild violence, some swearing, angst, some fluff towards the end, family reuniting type of tears, talks of demon possession (foreshadowing for next series)

I'm officially on the Kate and Wheaty ship train 😭😭❤

FLASHBACK

14 YEARS EARLIER

June 2006

Salt Lake City, Utah

"When do you think mom's coming home?" 7 year old Kate asks 11 year old Paige who is serving her instant ramen.

"I don't know, she's usually out hunting late" she replies. 

"I hate it when she's not here" Kate says looking down, playing with her noodles. 

"I know, I hate it too" Paige says, serving herself. She sits down, and as she’s about to eat.

They get a knock at their motel door, Paige quickly looks up, and turns off the lights.

She moves Kate onto the floor under the table, and reaches for the shotgun her mother gave her to protect herself and Kate. 

They get another knock on the door this time more aggressive. 

"I know you're in there Winchester" a male voice says. 

The doorknob turns aggressively, and he starts to bang on the door. 

"Open the fucking door" he demands. 

"Stay here" she whispers to Kate. 

Paige stands up holding the shotgun aiming it at the door, she tries to make herself sound like a threat but she’s actually terrified. 

"Who is it?' she says loudly, 

"Where's Mandy?" he yells. 

"She's not here" she yells back. 

He then throws himself at the door, she looks back at Kate who is on the urge of tears. 

"Go away!!!" Paige yells at him. 

"What are you gonna do about little girl?" he says, making shivers going down her spine 

"You come in and you're fucking dead" she says, cocking the shotgun.

He laughs maniacally and says "You're not gonna kill anyone little girl". 

He continues to throw himself at the door, and he eventually breaks it down.

Sees Paige aiming a shotgun at him, Kate hiding under the table. 

He scoffs at her "Really, you're a child" he grabs the shotgun out of her hands and tosses it to the floor. 

The man he’s about 5’10-6’0, bald with a pedophile mustache, 250-270 pounds with a beer belly.

"Where's Mandy?" he yells, grabbing her hair and pulling on it. 

She reaches in her back pocket and slices his hand with her hunting knife. 

He screams in pain clenching his hand, letting go of her hair pushing her to the ground dropping her knife. 

She runs to the shotgun but gets shoved into the wall, a framed photo falls on her head in the process. The glass cutting her forehead. 

He turns to Kate, lifts the table and throws it out of the way. 

Making Kate scream and roll up into a ball. 

Paige gets up, grabs her knife and tackles him before he can get his hands on her, and stabs him in the throat killing him. 

His blood getting on her hands, the floor and on the bed. 

His body drops hard to the floor, he twitches and dies of blood loss. 

They both sit there in shock, Kate rolled up in the corner of the room crying her eyes out. 

Paige sits there on the floor looking at the blood on her hands. 

She's never killed anyone before but she knew what she had too. 

He was gonna do Chuck knows what to her little sister, and it was her job to protect her whenever their mother wasn't around. 

After what felt like hours the sound of their mother's voice echoes from down the hall. 

"Girls!!!!!" she yells out from the hallway. 

When she gets to the doorway, Kate stands up and runs to her. 

"Mommy" she says, still crying, hugging her. 

She looks over at Paige. 

"What happened?" she asks.

 "I killed him, he was-he was gonna hurt us" she answers, still in shock and looking motionless. "Did you let him in?" she asks. Their mom was very very strict about letting strangers into their room whenever she wasn’t around.

She shakes her head "He burst in, looking for you". 

Mandy walks over to the body, and sees his face 

"Shit" she whispers. 

"Get your stuff, we have to get out of here" she says in a panicked tone. 

They grab all their stuff and go to their car. They pack it up, and drive down the road away from that town.

END OF FLASHBACK

“Kate!?!?!?!?” Paige yells in shock over the gunfire, and screaming. 

“Come on, we're getting you out of here” Kate says. 

Wheaty comes into her cage to help her up.

“Wheaty??!?!?” Paige says.

“Come on, we’re getting out of here!!” he yells, as him and Kate help her up.

Eli, and a bunch of other Whitetails shoot at Jacob’s men, killing them. 

They help her into the backseat of the truck, Ryan goes into the truck with them.

Eli jumps into the driver seat, and Paige doesn’t see her but Mandy gets into the passenger seat.

Jacob watches from the balcony of the Veteran’s Centre as the truck that took Paige drives off. 

Paige feeling lightheaded, she puts her hands on her head.

“Hey you okay?” Kate asks. 

Paige looks at everyone disoriented. It takes her a few minutes to recognize everyone in the truck, she still doesn’t realize her mother is sitting in the passenger seat. 

Her mind finally goes clear, and she looks over at Kate. Tears fall down her cheeks, and she pulls her in for a tight embrace. 

She looks at everyone. Kate, Eli, Wheaty and Ryan.

“Thanks you guys” she says, with tears running down her face.

She looks over at the woman sitting in the front seat, and thanks her too.

“Thanks to you too. Militia lady”

She turns her head, and says “Don’t you recognize your own mother!?”.

“Mom!?!?!?!” she yells out, making Eli jump. 

She hugs her from behind the seat.

She’s crying even more now. She’s finally out of that shit hole, she can finally see her family again, and better yet she has her mom back. 

She asks the same questions Kate asked her earlier that day. 

Kate gets a phone call from Kenny.

Paige looks and sees that Kenny is calling her.

Her heart completely skips several beats.

“Do you wanna talk to him?” Kate asks her.

She hesitates, “No I want to surprise him”.

She answers the phone, and puts it on speaker.

“Hey Kenny” Kate says calmly.

“Kate!, where are you!?!!??” he asks frantically. 

“I told you, I had to deal with a personal issue” she responds.

 Paige tries holding back tears, as she hears her husband's voice. 

“Yeah, you said that already. Did you go to the VC??” he asks.

“No, I didn’t” she lies. “Why?”. 

“Nate told me there was a break in” he says.

“Really?? When??” she lies again. Kate is really good at lying. 

“I don’t know like 10-15 minutes ago” he says. “Where are you??"

"I’m at the Wolf's Den”

“Why are you at the Wolf's Den?” he asks suspiciously. 

“You’ll find out when I get home” she says, and she hangs up her phone. 

“Who’s Kenny?” Mandy asks.

“That’s my husband” Paige says. 

Mandy snaps her head back and looks at her. 

“When did you get married?” she asks.

“April of last year” she responds. “Hell you even have a granddaughter”

The look of despair on Mandy’s face. She turns her head forward, and looks out the window.

She never even tried to contact her daughters.

If she did, she would’ve been able to attend Paige’s wedding, be there at the birth of her daughter and be there to meet her son in law. 

They make it back to the wolves' den, and Paige eyes light up, and immediately jumps out of the truck the second she sees the Impala. 

She runs to it, and hugs it as if it were her child.

“She loves that car” Kate says to Wheaty and Ryan.

Kate puts her hand on her shoulder, and says.

“There’s a lot we need to talk about” and without hesitation. 

Paige opens her shirt, and rolls up her sleeves revealing her sins.

“Yeah, I know. John Seed told me a lot about you two” she says this, and goes into the bunker.

Kate sighs, and follows her inside.

The second Kate steps into the first room, Paige doesn’t lash out at her. She just sounds extremely disappointed. 

“So you and temper tantrum Seed were in a relationship?” 

Kate sighs, and says. “Yeah, we dated. We dated for 9-10 months. When I moved out here back in 2018”.

“How did you two even hook up?” she asks.

“He saved me” she says.

Confused, Paige says “He saved you??”.

“Yeah, he saved one night when I got off of work”

“What happened?” she asks curiously. 

“I got jumped, I was able to hold the guy off, but he punched him in the face, and that’s when John came out of nowhere, and he beat up the guy”.

Paige looks at Kate confused.

She stumbles over her words, “So- so John, he- he has a soft spot for you?”

Kate shrugs, “Yeah basically when I finished my time at the University, and I graduated. I did stick around for a while. And that's when.” she stops speaking and turns away.

“And that's when what??” she asks. “Kate!? That's when what happened?”.

She turns to face her, and says softly. “He got possessed by a demon”

Paige’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?!” 

She nods her head “Yeah, he was possessed by Saleos”.

“And another demon by the name of Merihem attacked my friends while they were on a camping trip, putting 3 of them in the hospital”.

Paige looks down at the ground, those names she knows she’s heard them somewhere. 

Kate rolls up her sleeves, and shows Paige her tattoos. 

“Those are your tattoos” she says, telling her as if she were a child.

“All my tattoos cover my sins. John, who was possessed by Saleos, forced him to have me atone.”

“What about Merihem?” Paige asks.

“I killed him. He was possessing the man who jumped me, and I killed him. Along with the demon”.

“So John knows about what we do?” she asks.

She nods her head “Yes”.

“You fucked up another one” Paige jokes. They both laugh. 

Mandy walks in and says

“So? How are my girls doing?”

“Well I have a bone to pick with you as well” Paige says to Mandy.

“Jacob told me that you and Joseph Seed were involved with each other years ago.”

She closes her eyes and lets out sigh.

“Yes, Joseph and I were involved with each other. But it's not what you think. You see I was working as a double agent for the Whitetails”

“Jacob also said that, and supposedly Joseph had some of his followers kill you. And clearly you’re not dead unless I’m on drugs”

“Yeah, Joseph did feel betrayed by me because he wanted me to be The Mother of Eden's Gate”.

Paige and Kate both look at each other in confusion. 

“Wow, so basically all 3 of us were involved with the Seed brothers in some way” Paige says. “Because you *points to Kate* you were romantically involved with John, and you *points to Mandy* you were involved in a work kind of way with Joseph, and I was kidnapped by Jacob, and he wanted me to be a part of his army, and I’m also 100% sure he wanted to fuck me”

They all share a laugh, and spend the next 20-30 minutes catching up. 

Kate gets up and goes to get a drink. 

Wheaty walks in a few moments later.

“Hey” he says to her.

“Hey” she responds with a smile. 

“You’re sister, she just looks different” he tells her.

She nods her head, and says “Yeah, I can’t imagine what Jacob did to her”.

“All the shit he put her through in the last few months”. 

“Your sister is strong. From what Ryan told me. Jacob tormented her, he pushed her until she broke, and she never did. And what really set her off, is that Jacob mentioned her daughter, and she went ballistic”.

She does a little side smile, and says “Yeah I can imagine that. And yeah without a doubt Paige is very strong mentally and physically. She took care of me, protected me throughout our whole lives, and she owns up to it”.

They both lean against the kitchen counter for a few minutes.

Kate sighs, and steps forward, standing in front of Wheaty.

“I just wanted to thank you, Eli and Tammy for helping my family. If Paige would’ve stayed there a little longer, I’m pretty sure she would be dead”

“I’m glad Eli, Tammy and I could help” he says, pushing himself off the wall. 

Standing in front of her. 

Kate hugs him, and he is taken aback by it. He hugs her back, and they stay like that for a few minutes.

She pulls away from their hug, and looks up at him. 

And without any hesitation, she kisses him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, he places his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him.

After a few minutes of kissing, Eli walks in on them and awkwardly clears his throat. 

Kate breaks their kiss, and looks back at Eli. 

Feeling like a teenager getting caught for making out with a guy by their parents or older sibling.

“I’ll just get this, and leave” he says, grabbing something off the counter, and awkwardly leaves the kitchen. 

They stand there for a few minutes laughing at what just happened. 

A few moments later Kate, and Wheaty go back into the main room with the others.

Mandy, Paige and Kate leave the bunker, and head home to Holland Valley.

They all say their goodbyes, they have all their stuff, they put everything in the car, 

and Mandy of course makes Paige take the passenger, and she drives the Impala just like the old days, when Kate and Paige were children. 

She starts up the car, the sound of the engine rumbling is like music to Paige’s ears.

She leans forward, turns on the radio, trying to find a station that’ll play some good rock music, and of course a great classic.

Turn The Page by Metallica (cover) plays on the radio, and they drive home. 

[houseswolo]

Day 17 - 'Tis The Season To Be Thirsting

"Oh come all ye Forceful..."

The last of our Thirsties to be showcased:

Wilson

(Tumblr: @wilsonthinks66​ | Twitter: Wilsonthinks66 | Ao3: Wilson66)

What got you into Star Wars?

When a certain Adam Driver revealed his beautiful face in The Force Awakens 😍 helloo handsome

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

"You're not alone." "Neither are you."

I think I told Luke to piss off and let them kiss!

Why do you write / make art?

Because why not?! I write when I have that little niggling idea that just won't go away.

The Object of your Thirst…

Oh so many but if we're sticking to the Star Wars it's got to be the beautiful Adam Driver and my favourite ginger Domhnall Gleeson

Which Adam look do you like the best?

Unwrapped and bare chested 🤤😍

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Flip Zimmerman, I think my stomach literally flipped (pun intended 😏) when Adam wheeled around on that chair 💦💦

Which part of Adam do you like the best? 

A part? How can you only pick one part.

Favorite Star Wars Movie

Probably The Force Awakens, it was the film that made me watch the others in preparation, although Rogue one is a close second.

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Don't judge me but I love writing angst obviously with a well earned happy ending. This is what I want to write as I've made a promise to myself to focus on what I enjoy reading/writing and not worry about others' opinions.

**Eyes the dark Evil Rey idea that won't leave me alone recently**

We'll get to you soon.

(HS: Dooo eeeet!)

Your TRoS Prediction

They all live happily ever after... Hux included 🤞❤️ no I know that may be too optimistic but I do hope we get Bendemption 😍

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Red and black are my favourite colour combination, although I adore autumn colours too🍁🧡

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating? 

Silence 😂 seriously I am so easily distracted that I need solitary confinement 😅 which may be why I sometimes struggle to finish fics.

Are you a dom or sub? 

Switch baby! 🤘 For the perfect partner I'll be whatever they need 😏

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

I've spent most of my life at yards, I'm not going to miss the opportunity to roll about the straw barn, now am I? 🙊

What's your kink?

Who doesn't love a good Dom but on the flip who doesn't love a well-behaved sub? 🤷 I'm easily pleased.

Use three words to describe yourself

Loyal, kind (I hope I come across as such) and argumentative sometimes because I can fall out with myself if I'm that way inclined 😂

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

Well it's my name and I wasn't feeling imaginative 😅

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

I'm a don't touch me while a sleep spoon, solitary spoon 😘

Do you like it rough or soft? 

See if you pick one, you lose out on the other. I'm too greedy for that.

Favorite fic you read

Unexpected by pontmercy44. The first star wars fandom fic I ever read that introduced me into this world, I guess.

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

Decades to Fall for Sunshineflying. A reyux fic (don't shoot the multishipper!) That I just loved writing and wish that every fic was that easy to create. 😍❤️

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Oh well this is so hard for me umm 🤔 maybe that ginger General of First Order... I struggle to remember his name 😘 love me some Hux

______

Taz

(Tumblr: @tazwren | Twitter: WrenTaz | Ao3: TazWren & TrashcanWren)

What got you into Star Wars?

Literally, a lightsaber being stuck into my hand, at 7yrs, and being asked to be Vader to my cousin’s Luke Skywalker. I’d never heard of SW till that moment, and I fell headfirst into the Dark Side and in love with the galaxy far, far away! Its been the one franchise that as been a constant for me, the whole time growing up, and I’ve loved having something SW to look forward to every few years. SW and Reylo lifer! 😁😁😎😎

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

“You are not alone.” The minute Kylo/Ben said those words, I was gone for Reylo. No true villain would give a flying fuck about his so-called adversary’s mental and emotional health. When their hands touched? I screeched in that theatre! And I may have yelled at Luke as well. Walked out and hunted for Kylo/Rey fanfics and the rest was history!

Why do you write / make art?

I do because the stories show up and make it impossible for me to do anything else but tell them. They buzz and breed and drown out all other sounds, like manic mosquitoes. They can be quite a nuisance that way, but... *throws up hands* ... I gots to do what they tell me to do! 😆

The Object of your Thirst…

Uh, do I even need to answer this? Adam Douglas Driver, Mr.Sensitive-on-a-stick, BDE Boss hisself 😎😏

Once I discovered him, all others ceased to exist for me. (Hugh, who? Chris, what?)

Which Adam look do you like the best?

I like Adam every which way, but my favorites are with facial scruff and slightly shaggy hair - Phillip Altman meets Ben Swolo. Oooh, anytime he is a sweater (or half out of one!) or with his shirtsleeves rolled up. So, um, yeah... 😁

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Philip Altman is BAE - he always lightens my heart. And Ben Solo? He owns the frickin’ thing. So yeah, anyone who knows me, knows one ain’t enough 😏

Which part of Adam do you like the best?

His face - it’s so emotive and expressive! His eyes, those lips, that smile that launches a gazillion ships. His hands, his strong-ass arms. That glorious mane of hair. Have I mentioned them tiddies and the tree-trunk thighs?! Oh, and when he flexes his back, and...

Uh... let’s just say, everything Adam? 

Favorite Star Wars Movie

The Last Jedi was the most beautifully written and shot movie in the entire franchise, with a depth of characterization and exploration of symbolism that was brilliant. This will always rate as the best for me. A close second, and one I will always love, is Empire Strikes Back. That was quintessential Star Wars and an amazingly good watch - snark, action, angst, love, betrayal, rescue, OMFG!

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Until I started writing Reylo, I’d never been able to write fiction. I could never visualize the stories. And once I started, I haven’t been able to stop! I’ll write anything Reylo, I’ll try writing anything at least once (so, yeah, there may be dark fic as well one day!). My style defaults to either mildly angsty, or humour-laced fluff, or depraved smut. So, not sure what that says about me 😂

Your TRoS Prediction

Bendemption. Reylo. *mic drop*

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Blacks, Reds, Greys, slashes of bright turquoise and white and ochre. Blue and white-striped awnings shading an alfresco cafe, overlooking a green ocean. Bright, city lights, reds and yellows glinting off the black water of a bay. A busy airport, with the scents of perfume from Duty-Free as you zoom past it.

If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?

The Ever-lasting Gobstopper 😂

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?

In a hotel room, on my own. In the back of cab, in the window-seat of an airplane. At my desk, looking out through the window as the breeze blows through the trees, and the Burn This playlist keeps going on repeat. 

Are you a dom or sub?

Both? Both is good.

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

On the back of a bike, in the middle of the night, stopped at a traffic intersection.

What's your kink?

Size. Hands. Humour. Fidelity, and yet threesomes (go figure, I’m depraved). Mild Dom. Intelligence and thoughtfulness. Hair. Fuck it, Adam.

Use three words to describe yourself

Loyal, funny, organized-chaos (its a thing, trust me!)

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

I’ve always had Taz as a nickname, for the Warner Bros Tasmanian Devil (yes, I’ve been known to be exactly like that! 😂). Wren is a nod to Kylo Ren, and the fact that one of the earliest fanfics I read had Rey naming her son ‘Wren’ as a backhanded pointer to Kylo! So I’m, Taz, a Knight of Ren.

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

I can be both, till I fall asleep. Then, pls leave me tf alone 😬😁

Do you like it rough or soft?

Both - why choose?!

Favorite fic you read

There are so very many in this amazing fandom! The one that I’ve loved from the beginning, though, is The Art of Broken Pieces - a beautifully written Bendemption fic. 

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

God, this is hard! My recent favorites are Brooklyn Bridge Blues, Caught Between Beats, and A Taste For Two - I like that I’m able to explore a variety of stories and emotions through them. I’m most proud of Confidences To A Stranger because I was able to explore a storytelling medium that I hadn’t before. 

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Padme Amidala - she reminds me of my mother and grandmother, both of whom were strong women, who got shit done, while always taking care of their people. She was a queen in more than just name. Han Solo - I am weak for a scoundrel/villain/bad boy in a leather jacket, with a hardass, snarky exterior that hides a heart of gold. The reluctant hero.💙

____

Meet the other Thristies! Thirst Order Advent Calendar Day:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

cc: @tazwren @drnucleus @ashtyntaytertot @deadlikemoi @nite0wl29 @thereylowritingden @houseplaidam @housedadam @house-crylo @housereysistance @my-jedi-life @shestoolazytologin @koderenn @thoseindarkness @areylofan @lostinqueue-ffa @queenoferebor  @cosmo-gonika @roguesinside @wilsonthinks66  @dangertaylor @lilia-ula @wandering-minds-found @looc-at-me @hopelesslyreylo @ferashacosplay @andabatae-writes @semperfidani ​ @reylo-fade-to-grey @cb-lainey-schooled

[aboundlesswombofcultivations]

t h u r s d a y    n i g h t    (w h e n    d r e a m s    c o m e    t r u e)

--- L E V   R U B I N S H T E I N

--translation of Lev Rubinshtein by Philip Metres and Tanya Tulchinsky

1

All night I was dreaming of the frontier regions of existence. Waking up, I could remember only something between water and dry land, silence and speech, sleep and waking and managed to think: "Here it is, the aesthetic of uncertainty. Here it is again..."

2

I dreamt as if someone long gone and, it seemed, completely forgotten, suddenly appeared and looked at me so attentively that I woke, my heart pounding...

3

I dreamt that I had to get up and look if she were sleeping. I woke up, and could not remember for a long time who I was thinking of. Then I remembered...

4

I dreamt that I had to hide in my shell for awhile, and then, as they say, we'll see. I woke up and thought "Well, I don't know, I don't know..."

5

I dreamt that happiness truly knew no bounds. Waking up, I thought "Well, I'll be damned..."

6

I dreamt that you only have a chance four times in life. Waking, I thought that there was surely something to this...

7

I was dreaming that the most important thing was to find the most adequate form of sympathy for each other. Then I woke up...

8

I was dreaming that the idea of a clear page is a short circuit to any consistent aesthetic experience. Then I woke up...

9

I was dreaming that one could proceed from the fact that our sense of self is a sense of self of self-created personages, existing in their own time and space. And that the starting point of such sense of self, as a matter of fact, draws us together. Then I woke up...

10

I dreamt two whole arguments in my support, but of course I could not remember them...

11

I dreamt a third argument as well. But it also remained there in the dream...

12

I dreamt of the long-awaited coming of a hero. His appearance was often gloomy, but his constant readiness to be happy was indubitable. He was impressive in his open and keen relation to reality. Waking up, I thought that there was nothing to add to this.

13

I dreamt the rare flitters of fading hopes. Neither bright, nor warm, they silently smoldered down in the windless deeps of the consciousness.

I was so used to them, my tired brain almost failed to acknowledge them, my head would no longer lift at their sight, my nostrils would no longer inflate, my pulse would no longer quicken. It seemed that nothing could break my despondent calm. It seemed that nothing forbode any change...

14

I dreamt of an ancient park with trees immersed in thought. Along its shaded alley, a lonely figure moved towards me. I noticed it from far off and almost immediately guessed who it was. But you've probably guessed as well...

15

I dreamt that they were obviously not alone there. Someone prowled in the night without a sound, like a thief. "Quiet-whispered Heinrich with his lips pursed-you didn't hear anything?" Both listened. Silence ensued again. It was as if lightning sudde nly sliced through the dark...

16

I dreamt of creaking floorboards and balding rugs of a small boarding house on the shore of Lake Bodenskoe. The weather during these days was rainy and unpleasant. The mistress of the boarding house was a good-natured and flabby woman about fifty years old. The table usually sat about ten or twelve guests. They were of different nationalities, habits, and interests. There was nothing to talk about, and lunch was stale. Boredom and despair reigned at the table.

Still, one of the guests did grab my attention. He was a young, sickly-looking Italian, always silent, who would only rarely cast around an obscure glance, as if something known only to him had momentarily awakened him from his usual stupor...

17

I dreamt of a massive gray Ministry of Navigation building. It was located just a couple steps from my old apartment. And my windows looked right out onto the same despondent square. And along my windows each morning and each night strode the faceless chain of clerks. If I could have thought then...

18

I dreamt of little Kolya's face, happy for no reason, and the concentrated faces of his family, and the impatient face of the driver, and all the other faces-relatives, acquaintances, those barely known, and those not known at all. All of them diffused in the dim consciousness of Konstantin, merged into one quickly revolving spot, and he fell, as if cut down, to the wet asphalt of an empty train platform that morning.

19

I dreamt the situation was such that if a clear and quivering voice suddenly appeared amid the inarticulate din of the crowd, it, too, would be lost in the gnashing. Those who would manage to hear it would only exchange looks, nod knowingly to each other, and that would perhaps be the end, if not for the

20

I dreamt that we all had to live by touch: here a loophole, here a fence, there a solid wall. And our life passes, from decision to doubt, from a nod to an interjection, from dream to toil...

21

I dreamt a light went out somewhere in the middle. And the voice crying out in the wilderness could no longer be heard. The warmth had dispersed, never to return. Only glass glancing at glass, fleeting, inarticulate...

22

I dreamt of a caustic smoke and my own death mask. What will we give as a momento? What will we grab at the last moment? Paradise is not for us, so we don't walk in pairs. It's so basic it's not worth explaining...

23

I dreamt my heart's pulled out from its sheath each night. What do we know? What can we do? Whoever knows, be silent...

24

I dreamt of the emptiness of the sky. We both felt lost in it. You said: "The swallow over there will remember us until we die..."

25

I dreamt we were saying goodbye on the bridge. We are tired, we'll take a rest... All nature's actions happen for a reason. No one will be delighted to receive us. Neither of us knows what will happen tomorrow, or the day after. Our final meeting. We are saying goodbye to each other on the bridge...

26

I dreamt he was buried in a grave, out of his mind. With a long flame the candle burned recklessly...

27

I dreamt he lay down on the sand forever. Who could understand the earthly bustle, if not him? That nothing is what it seems... That what's said is beyond us. And here above the earth our dear comrade soars... We'll also go the way water wouldn't flow. Where brains fall off, and shrieks, and pitch dark. We'll go as well--it's time, it's time for us to leave this home. We wanted to live, and this is what it's come to...

28

I dreamt at dawn of my balcony all twined with snow, overflowing with something crimson, and my stallion's nape marked with murderous fangs, the vengeful glare of wolves-- luminous fish sparkling, then disappearing--as they head for the woods.

Over my shoulder I heard my rifle's parting cry, a crazed laugh of a fallen animal's shriek.

My dying horse, a white steam through a wide-open door, an unending blizzard, a ski trail overgrown with snow...

29

I dreamt my scarcely breathing ship was sinking, while in the storming space I was engaged in a miraculous prayer...

30

I was dreaming of nothing much-- just numbness and endurance. Let's hide our beaks in our plumage at this crossroads of winds. We know how much this is worth, and that too. But who'll be in charge of our stage, when we take up the pilgrim's staff and bag? And how do we proceed in such mist, not for an hour, not for a day, but for a thousand years-- our contempt stuck in our pocket, tet a tet with the cold wind?

31

I dreamt as if they were running--my remaining days, looming ahead, while I was left behind. The quiver of six transparent wings revealed myself to me, and I woke up...

32

I was dreaming he was right here, sitting on my bed. He was here, clear as day, and yet he wasn't here. Who knows better than him that all has changed, and there's no place for hope or an unbiased mind.

The quiver of six transparent wings revealed myself to me, and I woke up...

33

I was dreaming at dawn of a half-demon, half-corpse staring with its many eyes out of a gilded frame. He said: "Don't wait in vain--a miracle won't happen. If you have a place to run to, then get out of here." He said: "Follow me, I'll show you the way." With a heavy head I woke up...

34

I was dreaming of a balance of paper, a memory gone to sleep. Lulled by the song of dripping moisture I let slip another spring. My tongue was nursing the stingy definition of life's meaning. But then long ray fell on my blanket, and I woke up...

35

I was dreaming that dreams bring relief, yet take something from you forever. And then I woke up...

36

I dreamt of a phrase: "my Deep Throat muse."

After I woke up, I lay with my eyes open for a long time...

37

I dreamt that retelling dreams you don't remember is a kind of occupation.

Waking up, I thought, "why not?"

38

I dreamt that I didn't care who cried because of which onion. Waking up, I thought, "I don't care."

39

I dreamt that if "today's Thursday" is said on Thursday, then it means that today is Thursday. If "today's Thursday" is said on Friday, then it's either or lie or a mistake, or something else.

Waking up, I thought that, really, what is said is as important as when it is said...

40

I dreamt as if we were sitting here and doing the same thing that we're doing now. Waking up, I thought that there really was nothing unusual about this...

41

I dreamt an uncountable number of various possibilities.

Waking up, I tried for a long time to remember something, anything...

42

On the very brink between dream and waking, I dreamt what whatever exists, does indeed exist.

Waking up, I thought: "That's how it should be..."