#it was because gina just had a bunch of emotions that she was dealing with

[donutcats]

rewatching s2 rina scenes and I think I’ve somehow converted myself into the mindset of ‘ricky doesn’t have anything to apologize for since it was just a bunch of moments of two kids having very complicated feelings and not fully understanding how to handle them’

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Thoughts on B99 season 8 and the finale....

So I must admit, I have been putting off watching the finale as part of being in denial that the show has ended and there are no more new episodes to come. And just like Terry, I was not in denial of being in denial. But I finally pulled the trigger and watched the final two episodes and I do have a lot of thoughts about it and the final season.

Firstly, about season 8 has a whole. I will begrudgingly admit that this might be the weakest season of the show, and a large part of it being due to circumstances surrounding the show. Now weakest does not mean it was a bad season. Weakest seasons of B99 is better than 99% of other shows, pun intended, but I think this season struggled a little dealing with the seriousness of the policing storyline but still trying to find humor, combined with the short episode order, and trying to find appropriate endings for the characters. Its a valiant effort and the season is still enjoyable but I don't think it was completely successful at juggling everything.

The fundamental problem with the policing storyline that it is inherently serious and that clashes with the tone of the show. There was a sense of tonal whiplash throughout the season as a result. It was a bit of a problem when a show as progressive as B99 but also a show that is inherently about good cops trying to do good in their community has to try and appeal to a fanbase that considers policing fundamentally as corrupt. Its a tough line to ride and while the show does try, I can't say it completely worked for me. The premiere was arguably the most uncomfortable episode to watch because of the subject matter and the show was very brave to do that and also later in the season when the show put its lead character as Jake as the person in the wrong in a policing matter. But because of the severity of what is happening in these episodes, its tough to find them very funny even though there are hilarious moments in these episodes. Holt getting huffy was great. But in the end, these aren't episodes that I necessarily feel like revisiting. Also, because the issue of policing is big, it had to be done over the course of the season. Which meant 4 out of 10 episodes were relatively serious. I think Blue Flu is the best episode of the bunch in the storyline as it managed to give us a heartfelt storyline with Jake and Boyle as well as do a good job giving Holt a showcase against McGinley's O'Sullivan, who was an excellent antagonist. I felt the resolution of the storyline was a little too pat and convenient. I know they mentioned that O'Sullivan was re-elected for life but they also made it seem like their proposal could change the NYPD which seems like a very tv thing. I also admittedly rolled my eyes that Amy got promoted from Sergeant of Uniformed officers to being a Chief. No way do I buy that type of promotion. That's like a 5 rank promotion I believe. And if its possible, it kind of felt like uncomfortable favoritism on Holt's part.

The best episodes of the season were the episodes in between the policing storyline, because they were lighthearted and fun and played to the strength of the show. However, the airing schedule also kind of worked against it. The tonal whiplash was very evident because we would get one fairly serious episode coupled with one lighthearted episode back to back and it did feel weird while watching it. I feel like if this was like a 15 episode season and the policing storyline was a bit more spaced out, it wouldn't have felt so weird tonally. I loved Balancing, because of the realistic portrayal of how parenting can be. I also really loved PB&J. I know people have varying opinions on the Pontiac Bandit but I really loved how sweetly sentimental the episode ended up by the end. I also liked that Boyle got to be a part of the episode because I always wanted a Jake, Judy, and Boyle episode. I think the way the season executed the Holt and Kevin storyline was exquisite. I was initially not sure why they went about the route of spitting them up but they did an incredible job at their reunion storyline. The Lake House was a hilarious start. I love that the show came through on the commitment of their vow renewal from like season 2 I believe. Holt and Kevin got the vow renewal, the romantic kiss in the rain. It was wonderful. The season had some strong peraltiago moments, specifically in Balancing and in the finale.

The one episode I was a little meh about was Game of Boyles. I really don't think in a final season which already was so short that we needed an episode about Boyle not being a blood Boyle. It wasn't even a particularly big showcase for Joe and Charles' weird habits. The highlight of the episode was the big Holt and Kevin reunion but the episode was otherwise a bit flat. I think because of the fact that the episode order was so short, a few of the characters seemed genuinely wasted. I believe Stephanie Beatriz was pregnant throughout the shooting. With Covid, maybe it was part of the deal for her to be a more minor role but apart from the premiere and the finale, she really isn't used much despite the premiere kind of pitching her as a driving point of this policing storyline which then pivoted mostly to Holt and Amy. Terry was really completely sidelined all season. He's a hilarious side character in some episodes like The Lake House but he didn't really have a single episode where he got to be front and center. Boyle got a few good moments but, like I said, Game of Boyles wasn't even really a big Charles showcase episode. I think his best episode was Blue Flu. The season really felt more lead centric on Jake, Holt, and Amy. Again, I feel this was mainly because of the fact that the policing story took up half the season and there wasn't really enough room in the rest of the season for the others to be showcased. As a result we didn't get any real detective episodes, no Pimento episode, no Vulture return, no return of Jake and Amy's parents etc... all of which could have been fun.

I feel like I have pointed out the issues I had with the season quite a bit, mainly because the show has set such high standards for seasons past. The episodes are still ranging from decent to really good. I don't think there is any episode that comes as an all time B99 classic in this season, but there isn't any real bad episodes either. So its still a solid season, which brings us to the finale.

The finale was fantastic and I loved every aspect of it barring one specific element. I think the showrunners made the right call by knowing what the show is good at and making a true lighthearted romp as the final two episodes. The heist is just too important a tradition for the show not to happen and it feels appropriate that the show ended on a grand heist. The finale did an incredible job incorporating so many guest stars seamlessly. I also loved that Gina got to come back in a substantial role in the finale. Given how big a part she was in the show, it was only right that she was there at the very end. Almost every key relationship got some great moments. Jake and Amy had some heartfelt moments, Amy and Rosa had a lovely moment, Jake and Charles had a great friendship moment. The only relationship I would have liked another scene with is Jake and Rosa, which is probably my favorite male/female friendship on any show. Loved that Terry gets to be Captain, which he deserves. But in the end, the heart of this show has always been the relationship between Holt and Jake. The final scene between them at the precinct is played completely straight and it absolutely brilliant acting from both Andre Braugher and Andy Samberg. It got me really teary and emotional. But wisely, the show ends on an upbeat note which makes you feel good that these people will always be in each other's lives. I also hope they use the notion of a heist to give us a holiday heist special every once in a while. I would love that.

The one element I don't like is Jake resigning and becoming a stay at home dad. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home Dad or Mom. It just doesn't make sense for me for Jake. I think everybody saw hints that he was going to leave the NYPD, and I was ok with that, and I love the fact that the show used Jake's want to be a father as the basis of his departure because that makes sense for him as a character, but I just don't seem him being happy just as a stay at home dad, no matter how sweet that sentiment is. Andy Samberg doesn't get enough praise with how he sells emotional sincerity, but just two episodes prior, Jake was moaning about how he was incredibly bored during his suspension and how he was desperate for interaction to the point of going to the Boyle house for distraction. On top of that, he admitted to being really bummed that he was unable to catch Franzia himself. It just doesn't seem like he would be happy being away from a life without investigations to keep his mind working. Investigating wasn't just something he did just to earn money, he genuinely loved it. I would have felt better if he said he was going to join Rosa as a PI or start his own PI business. Just a one liner saying that he would do something which would continue his passion while still being able to be there for Mac as a parent. It also gave me an uncomfortable callback to my least favorite episode of the show, Casecation, where Jake was mocked when he argued that having a child might compromise their jobs which they both loved and Amy argued that getting promoted would allow her more control over her hours. And now we are at the finale and Jake's argument was completely right and in the end Jake is compromising on his professional career for Amy. There is no doubt in my mind that Jake would have wanted to continue being a detective and a father were it not for the specific circumstances. Jake choosing his family and Amy is no surprise, but I doubt that would have been his preference. On a more practical note, it is not even remotely believable that a couple with a small child living in Brooklyn can survive on a single income, even if Amy is a Chief. I am absolutely certain that the original endgame was for him to join the FBI. They introduced that idea at the beginning of season 7 for a reason. I think it got torpedoed because of the rewrite of the season arc. I like to headcanon that Jake got back to doing investigating on some level because its a shame if he isn't able to use his natural talents to use.

Anyways, the season overall isn't the home run I hoped it would be but given the circumstances, they did a pretty solid job. It isn't necessarily the season I would revisit as much on rewatch but it still delivers the heart and humor that we love from the show. A 7/10 for me. Like Jake said, goodbyes are inherently sad but the show has had a good run and I am glad its getting to go out on its own terms. I will miss this cast together and I really hope they all find success and I can follow them to other films and tv shows. So lets give it up for the cast and crew. One last time, NINE-NINE!

[xoxobuckybarnes]

The Last Ride

January 14, 2013. Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago make a bet, hoping to prove once and for all who is the best detective of the 99th Precinct. Jake bets his car, because losing the “chick magnet’ (as Charles insists it is), would be the worst thing in the world for Jake. For Amy? The worst thing in the world would be being one of those chicks in Jake’s car.

But, when Amy wins the bet, one year later, she still finds herself as one of those chicks in Jake’s car. Is it really the worst thing in the world?

Written for @stolethekey for #b99summer2021ficexchange

You can also read it on AO3

Chapter One: The Win

Amy ran into the precinct, grabbing a perp by the back of his shirt, her breathing heavy. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” she announced. “I present Carl Laudson, who stole $3,000.” She looked down at her watch to confirm the time before triumphantly continuing. “Santiago takes the lead with one minute left. Suck it, Peralta.”

Exactly one year ago, Jake and Amy made a bet to see who could get the most felony arrests, thus proving once and for all who was the better detective. Jake bet his car, his most cherished possession in the world. Charles insisted that losing such a total “chick magnet” would be the worst thing in the world for Jake. Thus, since being “one of those chicks in Jake’s car” would be the worst thing in the world for Amy, if Jake won, she would have to go on the worst date in the world with him. There was no way she was going to lose. Unfortunately, Jake had the same intensity about winning.

All year long, they had been going back and forth. As of this morning, they were tied. Both got to work, doing everything possible to take the lead. Amy couldn’t believe that she was about to win.

“Oh no,” Jake responded, panicked.

“That’s right ‘oh no.’”

Jake started grabbing folders from his desk, urgently flipping through them, hoping to find something, anything. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Not going to happen. Time to admit defeat in 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1! Your car is mine. Hand over the keys,” Amy victoriously demanded.

“This can’t be happening,” Jake moaned, reluctantly handing over his keys to Amy. Just as she was about to take the keys from him, he snatched his hand back. “Please, can I just have one last night with my car? I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to her.”

Amy furrowed her brows. “I don’t know if I trust you…”

Jake placed both hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look right at him. “I promise, I’ll give you the car. You won the bet, fair and square, and I’m not one to be a sore loser.” (Amy raised her eyebrows in disbelief at that). “I just want one last night so I can really say goodbye.”

Amy looked at Jake intensely. He looked so sincere, a trait that was not common for Jake. Although she didn’t know what it was about that hunk of junk that Jake loved so much, she did know that he needed one last night of memories. She shrugged his hands off her shoulders. “Fine, but I’m coming with you.”

A wide grin spread across Jake’s face. “Deal!”

Chapter Two: The Stakeout

Several hours later, Jake picked up Amy in his car.

“So, what do you have planned for tonight?” Amy asked as she slid into the passenger’s seat.

“First, we’ll stop at Shaw’s for Charles’ party,” Jake explained. “Then, I thought we could take a drive upstate. Just see where the road takes us.”

“Awesome.”

The whole squad was at Shaw’s celebrating Charles. Earlier in the day, he had been honored by the NYPD for his bravery when he jumped in front of a bullet heading straight for Rosa just last month. Unfortunately, Charles had fallen off the stage while taking pictures. To relieve himself from the pain, he upped his pain medication, which had the amusing effect of making him very honest.

“Jake! Amy! So glad you stopped by,” Charles greeted them enthusiastically. Jake acknowledged Charles with a nod and then headed to the bar to get a drink for him and Amy, leaving her alone with Charles. Charles leaned in closer to Amy, raised his eyebrows and whispered, “You and Jake look so good together.”

Amy did not appreciate the weird look that Charles was giving her, insinuating that Jake and she made a cute couple. Jake was one of her best friends. She loved hanging out with him and competing with him at work. But he was irresponsible and messy and immature. While she did think he was attractive and had once had a small crush on him when they first met, now that she knew him better, there was no way she’d let their relationship be anything more than friendship.

She was relieved when Jake rejoined them, handing her a beer.

Charles wiggled his eyebrows as he said, “I’ll leave you two alone,” in an unpleasantly high-pitched tone.

Jake looked at Amy confused. “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” Amy insisted before quickly changing the subject. “So, shall we go find a seat?”

She followed Jake to a table where they sat with Gina and Rosa. They talked about memories in Jake’s car, sharing both fun and horror stories. Just as Jake and Amy were getting ready to leave, the Captain called Jake over.

“So, small change in plans,” Jake said, walking back over to Amy. “Duty calls before we take off on our road trip.”

Half an hour later, Amy found herself sitting in Jake’s car in a sketchy side street staking out a warehouse.

“Sorry our road trip has been delayed,” Amy said to Jake. “But it’s still your last night with the car. Come sunrise, I’m the proud owner.”

Jake nodded. “Well, at least I’m still getting a night in the car. A stakeout is still a pretty awesome way to say goodbye.”

“I’m glad you think that,” Amy replied.

Amy looked around the street they were on. It was pretty dark, and it was hard to see anything. She was a little nervous that they’d miss the suspects because they couldn’t see very well. Clearly Jake was thinking the same thing.

“Hey, those people left that door open.” Jake nodded towards the building across the street from the one they were staking out. “I bet there’s a better vantage point from the roof.”

“Hmm. And I bet it doesn’t smell like old cheese,” Amy said, taking a low blow at Jake’s car.

“Okay, that’s hurtful,” Jake said. “Shall we?”

“Yeah,” Amy responded, keen to get out of the car.

Up on the roof, Amy found two crates. She carried them close to the edge of the roof and placed them down for her and Jake to sit on.

Jake, who was standing higher up on the roof declared, “Man, I don’t know how Batman does it. It is super scary up here.”

Amy laughed at Jake’s confession as he called out, “Hey, will you grab the binoculars? They’re in my stakeout bag.”

Amy rummaged through his bag, searching for his binoculars. “You’re stake out bag is 98% nuts,” she informed him.

“I get snacky,” Jake argued. “Besides, nuts are super healthy. They’re like 0% fat.”

“Jake, that’s not true at all. It’s actually the opposite.”

“What! That nut vendor lied to me?” Jake retorted in mock outrage.

Amy laughed. Jake was a grown man. How could he be so uninformed about the world? If it wasn’t so sad, she might have found his cluelessness endearing.

Jake held up the binoculars to his eyes. Amy looked closely out onto the street below them, taking in every detail of the area that she could, looking for anything suspicious going on.

“I think a pigeon just flew out of your car,” she informed Jake.

“Yeah,” Jake responded, not sounding surprised. “The windows don’t exactly roll up.”

Amy took a deep breath, wondering if she should tell Jake what she was thinking, about how awful his, or rather her, car was. Deciding there was nothing to lose by stating her honest opinion, she declared, “The car’s a piece of crap. Why do you love it so much?”

Jake sighed. Amy knew he was about to tell a story.

“You really want to know?”

She nodded.

“I was two days out of the academy, super nervous. I saw this guy run out of a bodega clutching a bunch of cash. So, I pursued him, on foot. Eleven blocks. Finally catch him, cuff him, throw him up against that car. Turned out there was a ‘for sale’ sign in the window. And it being the best day of my life, I bought it. Thus, began the debt.”

“’Crushing debt,’” Amy corrected him, recalling his words a year ago when they had made the bet.

Jake nodded enthusiastically and smiled as he replied, “Yeah. You do know me.”

She found Jake’s story about his beloved car heartwarming. For a moment, he had been vulnerable with her, admitting to being nervous, an emotion she had never known him to experience. Sure, it was stupid to go into debt over a car, especially one that was such a piece of shit. But, in Jake’s situation, it was pretty sweet. For the first time since she’d know him, she saw a sincere side of Jake. She couldn’t help but find it the tiniest bit attractive.

“Nut?” she asked, trying to distract herself from the unpleasant thought she’d just had.

“Only if you throw it,” Jake insisted.

“Ready? Ready?” she asked, preparing to toss a nut towards Jake.

“Mmm-hmm,” he hummed.

She threw it and he caught it in his mouth with ease. “Nice.”

Amy held the bag out towards Jake, and he took a nut. “Ready?”

“Uh-uh.”

Jake tossed the nut into the air. Amy tried her best, turning her head to the side. Ultimately, she failed to catch it in her mouth. Jake started laughing. “What are you doing? Trying to catch it in your nose?”

Amy laughed too, catching onto Jake’s contagious laughter.

Confident that she could catch a nut in her mouth, she declared, “I got it. I got it. I got it.”

They were interrupted by Jake’s phone ringing. He stood up and walked away as he said, “All right. It’s Holt. Keep practicing.”

Amy took another nut out of the bag, and threw it up into the air, again, failing to catch it. She took one more nut, trying, and failing yet again. Suddenly, she had an idea, she grabbed a handful of nuts and tossed them all in the air. Surely, she was bound to catch one of them. She was quite pleased with herself when she managed to get a nut in her mouth.

“What did Holt want?” Amy asked as Jake rejoined her.

“Just checking in. How you doing? Any progress?”

Amy was excited to show off to Jake her new ability to catch a nut in her mouth. “Yep, watch.”

She tossed her handful of nuts into the air, catching several of them this time.

“The key is volume,” she said, her mouth full.

Jake smirked. “I see that.”

After several more turns of tossing nuts back and forth to each other, Jake said, “So, be honest. Are you really gonna destroy my car?”

Amy smiled, thinking back on the week. She had constantly implied that she would cause damage against the car, even pretending to find out how she could light it on fire, hoping that the threat of not just losing the ownership of the car, but that the car would physically be gone, would distract Jake from beating her at the bet. Clearly, her strategy had succeeded.

Amy looked closely at Jake. She noticed the slightest tremor in his jaw, his eyes wide with concern. She could tell that he was genuinely concerned about the future status of his car. Now that she knew how much it meant to him, she felt bad about the threats she had made earlier this week.

Again, Amy felt herself feeling a new emotion towards Jake, one that she wasn’t 100% comfortable with. But his vulnerability and sincerity made him more attractive to her.

Ignoring her current confusion of feelings, Amy shook her head. “No, I’m gonna drive it. So, I can learn stick.”

Jake jerked his head towards Amy so fast she was surprised he hadn’t snapped it.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. I will,” she teased. “It’ll be like…” Amy started making screeching noises, indicating that she’d intentionally damage the car in her careless attempts to drive it.

“No, no…” Jake suddenly stopped protesting Amy’s mocking as he grabbed at her arm, calling her attention to the action on the street. “Hey, hey.”

Jake pulled Amy down so that they were both crouching on the ground. Amy peered out over the edge, where she saw a truck backing up to the docking station of the building across the street.

“There’s our guys,” Jake said, pointing at the truck that had pulled up down the block from where they were parked.

“What’s the play here?”

“Uhhh…” Jake hesitated.

Amy looked around them, looking for any bit of inspiration. She spotted Jake’s rundown car. Suddenly she had an idea. “Follow my lead.”

Amy took the keys out of Jake’s stakeout bag before she threw the bag to him. She led him down to the car and popped the hood. “Seriously,” she yelled at him. Jake looked confused, so Amy continued. “I told you the car was gonna die. It’s a piece of crap.”

Jake nodded, the slightest hint of a smile displayed on his face before he put his game face on. “Of course, my car is a piece of crap. All my stuff is crap. You have to criticize everything I own, or say, or do,” he barked back, throwing the bag into the back seat with a slam of the door.

Out of the corner of her eye, Amy saw the men at the truck sneaking glances at her and Jake. They would have to get louder, make it impossible for these guys to continue to ignore them.

“Well, when you don’t take care of your shit, we end up in these situations,” she shouted, raising her voice.

“Jeez, I guess I can’t do anything right,” Jake hollered back at her.

Finally, one of the men approached them. “Excuse me,” he said, tentatively. “Is everything alright here?”

“No,” Amy snapped at him. “My boyfriend here didn’t check the car like I told him to.”

Amy had not meant to say ‘boyfriend.’ Honestly. She was just going to pretend that Jake was her friend. That’s all. Where had the word ‘boyfriend’ come from?

“You need a jump?” the guy asked.

Amy looked to Jake and gave a nod. “Yes.”

Jake took over from there, pulling his gun out from the back of his pants. “But first, NYPD, on the ground, you’re under arrest.”

Amy looked over at Jake and smiled. “Nice job.”

“Thanks, you too.” Jake smiled back at Amy.

“Oh snap,” the guy reacted, putting his hands behind his head and kneeling down on the ground. “I’m sad you’re all arresting me, but I gotta say, I’m glad you’re not actually fighting. You all make a cute couple.”

There it was again – the insinuation that she and Jake were a couple. Not even just a couple, but a good one. This time was more alarming though than Charles’ suggestion. Charles knew and loved both Jake and Amy. His insistence that they would be a good couple could just be explained by a man wanting two of his best friends to be happy together. This guy though, well, he didn’t know Jake and Amy, and yet, he saw something between them.

By the time they got the guys to the precinct and completed all the paperwork, it was early in the morning. Jake and Amy were expected back at the precinct for their next shift in only a few hours. A road trip was out of the question.

Jake left the keys on Amy’s desk before he snuck out of the precinct without even saying goodbye. She hadn’t even noticed that he did it. She felt bad that he didn’t get his last night with his car, but she admired his commitment and that he stayed true to his word.

Early the next morning, Captain Holt called Amy into his office. “Good job on the stake out. I’m glad to see you two still work well together despite that ridiculous bet.”

Amy smiled at the Captain’s praise. “Thanks. Me, too.”

“And, I appreciate you turning down the relief team. I’m not sure they could’ve made that bust.”

Amy was confused, unsure about what the Captain was talking about. What relief team? All of a sudden, it dawned on her. That must have been the real reason the Captain had called last night. He wasn’t checking up on them, he was offering another team so that they could get back to Jake’s last night with his car. By why had Jake refused the relief team? He loved his car and she could tell that he really wanted one last night to fill with memories. Why would he trade in that night for one of paperwork?

“Yeah. Right. The relief team.”

Amy left the Captain’s office and paused, looking at Jake. She had the next two days off, and she was positive that Jake also had the same time off. She might have won the bet and now been the fair winner of Jake’s car, but she knew what she had to do. Walking past Jake’s desk, she dropped the keys in front of him.

“Huh?” Jake asked, picking up the keys and tossing them back on Amy’s desk. “You won. The car is yours. Fair and square.”

Amy tossed the keys back to Jake. “I promised you one last road trip with your car, and you didn’t get it. We’re both off tomorrow, I figured we could take your road trip this weekend.”

Jake beamed. “Okay, thanks.”

Amy couldn’t help but beam back. She couldn’t explain why Jake’s joy was making her so happy right now.

Chapter Three: The Road Trip

Thirty-six hours after he was initially meant to give Amy his car, Jake rolled up to her apartment building, ready for one last road trip. Amy heard him honking from her bedroom. She grabbed her backpack and went to meet him outside.

“Yo!” he shouted out the driver’s seat window.

“Yo!” she yelled back as she walked over to the car. After settling into the passenger seat, Jake took off. “So, where are we going?”

Jake fidgeted with the radio before responding to her. The music of Queen came blasting through the speakers. “We’re going East. I thought we could explore Long Island. Anywhere we want to stop, we stop. Just see where the road takes us.”

Amy nodded in agreement. “Awesome.”

Jake took off heading Northeast, up into Queens. When they started seeing signs for Citi Field, Jake talked about how his dad used to take him to Mets games when he was younger. Jake so rarely talked about his dad. She was touched that he was sharing something so personal with her.

“He’d always buy me a special program and ice cream in a helmet. I kept every single one. Every program. Every helmet. They’re all in a box under my bed in my mom’s house,” Jake described. “He took me to my first game when I was 5. The last game he took me to was when I was 9, so I only have like 4 or 5 programs and helmets. And obviously I’ve been to tons of games since then, but I’ve never been able to buy another program or ice cream in a helmet. It’s always been me and my dad’s thing. I haven’t been able to do it on my own.”

Amy stared at Jake through his monologue. Sure, Jake talked a lot. Seeing him say so much was nothing new. What was new however, was him talking so much about something serious and personal. He didn’t even notice her staring as he continued on.

“Actually, I cried at the first game that I went to at Citi Field. Not like hysterical, just shed a couple of tears. It was as if I was mourning the fact that I’d never get to go to a game at Shea Stadium with my dad ever again. I hadn’t even known that the last time would be the last.” Finally, Jake looked over at Amy. “Why are you looking at me weird? Am I talking too much?”

Amy shook her head. “No, not at all. Thanks for opening up to me Jake.”

Jake stared straight ahead, keeping his eyes focused on the road. He shrugged. “You’re easy to talk to.”

They drove in silence for a little while. Eventually, Amy saw a sign for Sagamore Hill.

“Ooh! Sagamore Hill. Teddy Roosevelt’s home. I’ve always wanted to go.”

Jake took the exit. “Then we should go.”

They pulled into the parking lot at around 9:15. Amy went into the visitor’s center as Jake walked around the grounds. She met him 10 minutes later.

“C’mon,” she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the house. “Our tour starts in 5 minutes.”

Amy knew that history was not Jake’s thing. She kept looking at him while they toured the house, wanting to make sure that he was enjoying himself. He seemed pretty interested in what the park ranger was telling them. He even asked a follow-up question about Roosevelt’s conservation efforts.

After the tour they visited the gift shop. Amy picked out a teddy bear to buy her youngest niece. Jake bought a teddy bear, too. He insisted it was for his mom, though Amy had a feeling it was really for himself.

“Thanks for doing that for me,” Amy said when they were back on the road.

Jake glanced over at Amy, a small smile on his face. “Well, you listened to me get emotional about my dad. So, we’re even.”

“Well, to show my gratitude, I have a treat for you.” Amy reached into the backseat to grab her backpack. She pulled out her surprise for Jake with a “Ta-da!”

Jake looked at what she was holding up and gasped. “Gummy bears!”

She put the backpack down by her feet and opened the bag of gummy bears. She grabbed Jake’s hand to hold it steady in her own. She couldn’t help but notice the way his hand twitched at her touch. She poured him a handful of bears and them picked out a few for herself.

“You’re the best, Ames!” Jake exclaimed with a mouthful of candy.

Having spent some time on the North Shore of Long Island, Jake decided that they needed to head south now. They kept driving, Amy sharing the gummy bears with him until they where all gone. Eventually they were at Heckscher State Park.

“When I was little, my Grandparents lived not too far from here,” Jake explained as he pulled into the parking lot. “After my dad left, my mom had to work more, so sometimes I’d spend weekends out here with them. If the weather was nice, my Grandfather would take me to the playground here while my Grandmother was at her Garden Club.”

“Do they still live here?” Amy asked as she climbed out of the car.

“Nah, they moved to Florida when they retired when I was 19. Then my grandmother passed away when I was 27 and my grandfather passed away a few months later.”

Amy was learning more about Jake today then she had learned about him in the last five years that they worked together. She was touched that he was feeling comfortable opening up to her.

They walked along the path, Jake pointing out places he remembered – where he rode his bike for the first time, where he played little league baseball, where he fell and scraped his chin, where Gina had kissed him when she visited his Grandparents with him when they were 16. Eventually, they reached the bay. “And this is where I learned how to swim. My grandfather was very patient. We spent hours here every Saturday when I was 8 and by the end of the summer, I was swimming!”

Amy didn’t say anything, she just looked at Jake. She’d known him for five years and had always considered them to be good friends. But she never realized until now how little she actually knew about him. She was liking everything that she was hearing. She enjoyed Jake’s vulnerability and openness. It felt like their friendship was evolving.

Jake turned away from the water, which he had been looking at so intensely, to look at Amy. “You’re looking at me weird again. Oh no! Am I talking too much again?” he worried. “You know you can tell me to shut up.”

Amy rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder. “I’m seeing a whole new side to you.” She walked away from him, closer to the water. “I don’t completely hate it.”

Jake strolled closer to the water too, though he kept some distance from her. Silently, they both stared out at the bay. After several minutes, Jake strode over to her and nudged her shoulder, gesturing towards the path. They walked back to the car in silence. It wasn’t a comfortable silence though. There was an awkwardness in the air. Something had shifted. Amy worried that she had said something wrong.

Back in the car Jake put the key into the ignition, pausing before he turned the key to start the car. He turned to look at Amy and she looked back. Jake shook his head and turned the key. He inched forward into the next parking spot, but then stopped the car and pulled the key out, turning back to Amy again.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he stated.

“Oooookayyyy…” Amy replied when Jake failed to elaborate any further.

Jake took a deep breath. “I opened up to you the other night about my car and why its so important to me. And now I can’t stop. It’s like verbal diarrhea. All these personal stories just keep spilling out and I can’t stop myself.”

Amy nodded. “It’s not a bad thing Jake,” she assured him. “It’s good to have friends you can open up to and be vulnerable with.”

Jake scrunched up his nose. “I don’t know” He sounded hesitant. “You’re not going to tease me? You’re not going to use these things to mock me later?”

She placed her hand on his shoulder and he leaned closer into her. The way he looked at her was so innocent, so pure. It was a look he had never given her before. If she was being honest, she really liked the way he was currently looking at her. “I would never tease you or mock you for the things that make you who you are,” she promised.

Jake bit his bottom lip and then pulled her into a hug. “Thanks.”

Amy’s heart beat faster in Jake’s embrace. When he let go to start driving again, she missed the feel of his arms around her. She ached for the feel of his chest pressed against her.

As they drove along the south shore of Long Island, Amy looked at Jake. There was a crease in his forehead. She could tell that he was still a little uneasy about his sudden display of vulnerability. She knew that the only way to make him feel safer was to show him her own vulnerable side.

“Sometimes I worry that I’m going to die unmarried and alone,” she confessed.

Jake laughed, and she immediately regretted sharing one of her most private fears with Jake. She turned away from him, resting her head against the window, watching the stores passing by out the window.

“Ames,” Jake said. She ignored him. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, repeating her name again. She couldn’t stand to look at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just… I didn’t realize…There’s just…How could you possibly be alone for the rest of your life? You’re smart and kind and beautiful and so much fun to be around…”

Amy turned to look at Jake. His hand was still on her shoulder, and he was glancing back at forth between her and the road. They came to a curve in the road, and he took his hand off her shoulder to control the wheel better. Once the road straightened out again, he put his hand on her knee, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”

Jake removed his hand, and just as she had ached for his embrace, she ached for the pressure of his hand on her knee. She really couldn’t explain what was going on. Just like Jake couldn’t rationalize his sudden display of vulnerability, she couldn’t describe her sudden desire for Jake’s touch and intimacy.

She shook it off to elaborate on her fear.

“It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve been on a decent date, let alone with someone that I could actually see myself with.” She told him about the magician who thought it was a clever trick to strip down to his boxers, the dentist who gave her an oral exam during the middle of dinner, the artist who kept taking food off her plate without asking, the gym teacher who showed up to a nice restaurant in sweats and complained about the number of calories in each dish, and several other embarrassing and bizarre dates.

“That’s not you. You’re just going out with the wrong guys,” Jake assured her.

“I don’t know,” Amy countered. “These are the guys who ask me out. Do I only attract weirdos?”

Jake shook his head aggressively. “I think you intimidate a lot of guys. I’m not saying that it’s ok. I just think the guys who are good enough for you fear that they’re not good enough for you. “

Amy didn’t respond.

“Does that make sense?” Jake asked.

“Eh,” Amy shrugged.

“You’ll find the right guy. I really believe that,” Jake reassured her.

They continued driving on in silence. Thankfully, not as awkwardly as it was back in the park. In the silence, Amy could hear Jake’s stomach rumbling. She laughed.

“It’s probably time to eat something,” Jake declared, laughing along with Amy.

Amy peered out the window, keeping her eyes open for an interesting place to grab something for lunch.

“How about that Brewery?” Amy asked, pointing to a larger building coming up with a sign that read Blue Point Brewery.

“Looks good to me.”

They each ordered a beer and a sandwich (Cajun Tuna for Amy, Steak for Jake). The conversation was lighter as they ventured into more familiar territory, discussing cases and Amy’s love for their new Captain (Jake was still on the fence about Captain Holt).

They were back on the road just a little before 2:00. Things seemed to be back to normal between them. It had been nice to see a more vulnerable side of Jake. And Amy hadn’t minded sharing something more personal with him. It was nice to explore a different side of their friendship. That being said though, she was happy that they were settling back into their comfort zone, laughing and being silly.

They continued driving east along the south shore of Long Island, eventually reaching the Hamptons. In Southampton, Amy suggested they stop and walk around the town. Being the offseason, not many shops were open, but that was okay. She had fun exploring one of America’s oldest department stores, Hildreth’s. As a gift of gratitude to Jake, for appeasing her as she awed over home furnishings they both knew she wasn’t going to buy, she bought him a quarter pound of fudge at the candy store.

“Hey, I saw a large empty parking lot on our way into the town,” Jake announced as they walked back to the car. “It’d be a good place to practice driving.”

Amy nervously bit her bottom lip. Yes, that was the terms of the bet. Once this road trip was over, Jake’s car would be hers. She had told Jake she would drive his car, despite not knowing how to drive stick, implying that the result could potentially be disastrous. Knowing now how much this car meant to him, she felt bad about telling Jake that she would destroy his car. Out of respect to Jake, she really should learn how to properly drive his car.

They switched spots in the parking lot. Jake gave her a quick overview before directing her step by step through driving stick. She made several mistakes, but Jake was patient with her, even through his wincing. She was finally getting the hang of it when Jake suggested she take the car out on the road.

“You’re sure?” She was starting to get the hang of it but wasn’t feeling confident yet.

“You’ll be fine,” Jake insisted. “Besides, the roads are pretty empty, we’re safe. Just listen to me and focus.”

Amy smiled at Jake’s confidence in her. It made her feel good knowing that he believed in her capabilities.

Slowly but surely, she drove out on the major roads out east. Jake had been right; being winter in summer towns meant that there were very few, if any, cars on the road. By the time the reached Montauk, “The End,” Amy’s confidence in her ability to drive stick was matching Jake’s confidence in her.

“Ames!” he exclaimed. “That was awesome! I’m so proud of you!”

Amy couldn’t help but beam. Yes, she was proud of herself, too. But hearing that Jake was proud of her made her even happier. She couldn’t explain why.

She parked and they got out and walked around the town. As they got closer to the lighthouse, they saw signs stating that the last group up would be let in at 4:45pm.

“We can make it,” Amy asserted, as she grabbed Jake’s hand and pulled him, running to make the last entry up into the lighthouse.

They made it with seconds to spare. Her heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered when Jake didn’t immediately release her hand once they reached the lighthouse.

As they walked up the stairs, Amy walked in front of Jake. The steps were steep, and Amy’s heart skipped a beat every time Jake placed his hand on the small of her back to help her steady herself up the stairs. When they reached the top, the small balcony was crowded with others, trying to get in a quick look before the lighthouse closed for the evening. Amy stood, leaning against the railing, enjoying the view of the Atlantic Ocean. She was squeezed between an overly affectionate couple on the left and an adorable family with three small children on the right. To conserve space, or, at least that’s why she thought he was doing it, Jake stood behind her, his arms stretched out on either side of her, resting on the rail. Amy stood with her front pressed up against the railing. When another couple tried to pass behind him, Jake moved up, pressing his front into Amy’s back. Her heart started beating faster as she felt him pressed up against him.

“Sorry,” Jake mumbled when Amy looked behind her. He made to step back, regardless of there being little room, with more people trying to pass behind him.

“Don’t worry about it,” she insisted, pulling him back into her to allow room for others to pass. A kaleidoscope of butterflies exploded in her stomach when Jake stayed pressed up against her.

It wasn’t long before they were ushered down the stairs so the lighthouse staff could shut down for the night. Jake and Amy walked a little bit through the town. They occasionally bumped into each other. Amy could feel Jake’s hand twitch whenever he accidentally grazed hers.

Jake suggested they get dinner before they headed back into the city. They found a little bar that looked cozy. Despite there being plenty of empty tables, they decided to eat at the bar. They each ordered a beer and a few appetizers to share – mozzarella sticks, potato skins, and fish tacos.

“Oh my God!” Amy exclaimed as she saw a lonely bride enter the bar. Her light blonde hair was braided into a bun at the nape of her neck and her long-sleeved, bohemian dress flowed down to the middle of her shin.

Amy leaned in closer to Jake to whisper to him. “Do you think it’s a runaway bride situation?”

They tried not to stare, even when the bride took the empty seat next to Jake.

“Hi!” the bride said to them, beaming from ear to ear.

“Hi!” Jake and Amy responded, unsure of how to react.

“I just got married,” the bride explained, unable to stop smiling.

“Congrats!” Amy responded.

“Here’s my husband!” the bride exclaimed. A tall man with a buzzcut, dressed in a slender-fitting gray suit walked in. Once he spotted his new wife, he ran to join her, grabbing her up into a hug and passionately kissing her. It was one of the sweetest things she’d ever seen.

“Hi, I’m Ken,” the groom said, holding his hand out to Jake and Amy. “This is my wife, Florence.”

Jake and Amy shook his hand and congratulated him.

Ken and Florence were an adorable couple. They couldn’t stop smiling, or keep their eyes, or hands, off each other.

“We wanted a moment just the two of us before we head to the reception,” Florence explained to Jake and Amy.

“Can we buy you a drink?” Amy offered.

Ken shook his head as he got the bartender’s attention. “No, that’s okay, thanks though. Drinks are on us.”

Florence and Ken bought a round of champagne for everyone in the bar. The bartender toasted the happy new couple. As they drank their champagne, then their beer, while they waited for their food to arrive, Jake and Amy talked to the newlyweds.

Ken and Florence had meet five years ago. They worked together at the same marketing firm in the city. They were friendly, hanging out and occasionally flirting. Then, after a year working together, they were assigned to head a campaign together. After many late nights working just the two of them, they realized that their feelings were more than just friendly. So, Ken asked Florence out and they fell in love.

“What about you two? How did you meet? How long have you been together?” Florence asked.

“Oh, no…we’re not…we’re just…” Jake stuttered, while Amy explained, “No, we’re just colleagues. We’re police detectives.”

“Yeah, but there’s something going on between you two, right?” Ken asked.

“Nope, just friends,” Amy said.

“Yeah, just friends,” Jake echoed Amy, though quieter and less sure.

Ken and Florence finished their champagne and Ken checked his phone. “Uh, oh. We’ve got a lot of missed calls. We should probably head off to our reception.”

Florence threw her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Please, one shot before we go.”

Ken ordered a round of tequila for his new wife, Jake and Amy. They clinked their glasses together and took their shots.

“It was so nice meeting you,” Florence said, pulling Amy into a hug. Quietly, she whispered into Amy’s ear. “Jake really likes you. He looks at you the way Ken looks at me.”

Amy was startled by Florence’s insinuation. Jake liking Amy. She doubted it. Jake was constantly teasing her. She thought back to their day. Jake had opened up to her in a way he never had before. He taken her to visit a historical, presidential home. He shared a part of his childhood. He explored a new department store with her, never once teasing her for her old lady taste in furniture.

And, then there was the way his body reacted at the slightest touch of their bodies. The way his fingers twitched. The way he squeezed her knee, the way his hand felt on her back. The way she could feel his heart beating against her back on the top of the lighthouse.

Maybe Florence was on to something.

Amy waved goodbye to the newlyweds, just as their food arrived. As they ate, they talked about TV shows they were watching and movies they’d recently seen. They were so engrossed in their discussion that they hadn’t noticed that the bartender brought them both another beer, which they both drank without realizing it.

Chapter Four: The Hotel Room

“I’m a little tipsy. I don’t think I can drive,” Jake confessed once they paid for their dinner and made their way out of the bar.

“Me either,” Amy admitted. “Should we just walk around until we sober up?”

“Um, it’s getting pretty cold, and dark. And there’s nothing open. And, it’s almost 7:30, anyway. By the time we sober up and make it all the way back home, it will be like, midnight,” Jake countered. “We could get a hotel room. Each. We can each get our own hotel room.”

Amy looked up at Jake. He was looking down at her with a worried look on his face. She nodded. “Sure.”

They walked a few blocks to the hotel.

“Can we get 2 rooms?” Jake asked the receptionist.

“I’ll check what’s available. There’s a big wedding here this weekend so we’re pretty booked.” The receptionist typed away on the computer. “Looks like there’s only one room available.”

Jake looked down at Amy. “Oh…we don’t… we can find another hotel. Or I can sleep in the car,” he stammered.

Amy shook her head. “It’s okay. We can take the room.”

“You sure?” Jake asked.

Amy shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine. We’re friends, we can share a hotel room.”

Amy paid for the room.

She looked down at herself and then looked at Jake. “I don’t have a change of clothes or any toiletries or anything.”

Jake looked down at himself too. “Yeah, me neither.”

“There’s soap and shampoo and stuff in the hotel room,” the receptionist interjected. He bent down to pull something out from under the counter. “Here’s toothpaste and toothbrushes for you. And you can pick up some clothes at our hotel shop. It’s been closed up for the night, but I can let you in to pick out some stuff, as long as you promise to come back and pay for it all before you leave tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much!” Amy took the toothbrushes and toothpaste from the receptionist and followed him to the store. She picked out a gray pair of sweatpants and a red crewneck sweatshirt, while Jake picked out a black pair of shorts and a blue long sleeve shirt. They thanked the receptionist again and made their way towards their room.

“Jake! Amy!” Amy turned to look who was calling them. Who did they know in Montauk? Of course, it was Florence and Ken.

“What are you doing here?” Florence asked, approaching Jake and Amy.

“We might have had a little too much to drink,” Amy explained. “We’re just going to sleep here tonight.”

“Oh, okay,” Florence replied, wiggling her eyebrows. Her facial expression was a little too similar to Charles’ when he implied that Jake and Amy would be a cute couple. Amy didn’t know how she felt about the fact that for the third time in less than 48 hours someone had suggested that she and Jake made a cute couple. Thinking back on her interactions with Jake since then, she couldn’t help thinking that perhaps all these people were on to something.

“We’re just changing before we had back to our reception,” Ken clarified. “Hey, you two should join us.”

Amy looked up at Jake. He scrunched up his nose, a look that she knew meant he wasn’t sure; it was a look she had seen numerous times while working on cases with him.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think we’re just going to head back to our room. We’ve had a long day,” Amy responded.

“You sure?” Florence asked.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Jake replied.

Amy followed Jake to their room. Once they arrived, she opened up the room. She was shocked to find that there was only one bed in the room.

“Um, I can go sleep in the car,” Jake offered.

Amy shook her head. “Don’t be silly, there’s plenty of room.”

“Ok, yeah, I’ll just sleep on the floor,” Jake responded.

Again, Amy shook her head. “Jake, you can sleep in the bed. It’s plenty big enough.”

Jake raised his eyebrows. She could tell he was about to ask again if she was sure. She responded before he could ask again. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.”

Amy went into the bathroom to change and wash up. When she emerged, Jake had changed too. As Jake went into the bathroom to wash up, there was a knock at the door. When Amy opened the door, she was greeted by a hotel staff member holding a bottle of champagne.

“I think you have the wrong room…” Amy started but was cut off by the staff member. “It’s a gift from Florence and Ken for Jake and Amy.”

Amy thanked the delivery girl and took the bottle. She noticed a card attached to the neck of the bottle. She opened it up as she closed the door.

Jake and Amy

It was wonderful meeting you. Enjoy this bottle on us! ;)

Love,

Florence and Ken

There was also a post script suggesting that they meet up in the city with both of their phone numbers.

“Who was that?” Jake asked, emerging from the bathroom.

Amy held up the bottle. “A gift from our favorite newlyweds.”

“No doubt, no doubt. That was cool of them,” Jake responded, taking the bottle from Amy. As he opened it up, she grabbed 2 coffee mugs from the desk. Jake poured them each a mug of champagne. They clinked their mugs, toasting their new friends.

Amy sat down on the bed while Jake took the seat at the desk. She turned on the TV, flipping through channels, looking for something they would both agree on watching. An old rerun of SNL was playing on NBC, and Amy left the TV on this channel. They sat in silence, watching, laughing along at the funnier sketches.

During a commercial break, Amy noticed Jake reading the note from Florence and Ken. “Why’d she add a winky face?” he asked.

Amy could feel her face getting red. “Oh, um, well, Florence thinks…you see…she said to me…”

“Ames, what’s going on?”

Amy took a deep breath. “Florence told me she thinks we’d be a cute couple.”

Amy could see Jake take a deep gulp, his face now also turning red. “Oh, okay.”

They both sat there in silence for a moment. Jake turned his attention back to the TV. Halfway through the first sketch after the commercial break, Jake stood up and turned off the TV, turning to look at Amy. “Ken said the same thing to me.”

“Oh, okay.” Amy couldn’t think of anything to say in response to that.

Jake took a step closer to the bed. “Charles has also been implying lately that he thinks I like you and that he wants us to be a couple.”

Amy nodded. “Yeah, he made a comment about that to me too the other night.”

Jake nodded and shrugged. “And those perps made the comment about us being a cute couple.”

“That’s true,” Amy whispered as Jake took a step even closer to her. She found herself unable to speak as Jake sat down next to her on the bed. He was pretty close, his knee grazing her own. Amy felt electricity streaming though her body at the slightest hint of Jake’s touch.

“Do you think all these people are seeing something we don’t see?” Jake whispered. He scooted a little closer to Amy on the bed, giving her goosebumps at how close they were now, their legs resting next to each other’s.

Amy gulped, taking a moment to gain courage. “I think I might understand what everyone else is seeing.”

She was so nervous, she spoke so low. She wasn’t even sure that Jake had heard what she said. But he leaned closer to her, taking her hand in his.

“I think I see it too.” With that he leaned forward and kissed Amy.

She paused at first, shocked by his actions. Her heart was racing and she felt like she was sweating. But as Jake continued to kiss her, she leaned into it, kissing him back. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck as he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer into him. Amy shifted back on the bed so that she was leaning against the headrest and Jake shifted with her.

Suddenly, Jake pulled away from Amy, his hands still on her waist. “We’ve had a lot to drink tonight. We should probably stop.”

Amy nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” But instead of letting go, she pulled him back in to kiss him again.

They continued to kiss for several more minutes before Amy eventually pulled away. She let go of Jake and jumped off the bed. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. We’ve had too much to drink tonight. We should stop before we do something we regret.”

“Yep,” Jake replied. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.”

Amy looked at Jake. She couldn’t stop smiling. She was so happy about what had just happened. Jake was smiling too.

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” she announced.

“I’m gonna wait here,” Jake replied. “I need a minute.”

Amy looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her face was flushed, but she couldn’t shake the smile off her face. She felt like it was going to be a permanent fixture for quite a while.

When she finished up in the bathroom, Jake went in to brush his teeth. He placed a chaste kiss on her cheek as he passed her, making her smile grow even larger.

Amy settled into the bed. She turned the TV back on, which was now playing the local news. After several minutes, Jake joined her again. He settled into the bed beside her, turning off the lights in the room. Jake held his arm out and Amy shifted into his side, allowing Jake to cuddle in close to her, her head resting on his chest.

They continued watching TV. After the news, a new episode of SNL started. Soon, Amy began to drift off to sleep. The last thing she noticed before she finally drifted into a blissful sleep was Jake pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

Chapter Five: The New Bet

Amy woke up the next morning, still feeling elated about last night’s events. She was feeling warm in Jake’s embrace. Her head was on his chest, and he was holding her tightly.

“Good morning,” Jake said. Amy looked up at Jake. He kissed her softly on the lips.

“Good morning.”

Amy wriggled out from Jake’s embrace and got out of bed. She looked at her phone, seeing that it was almost 8:00 in the morning.

‘We should get back to the city,” she declared.

She and Jake changed back into their clothes from yesterday. They checked out of the hotel, stopping by the hotel gift shop to pay for the clothes they picked out yesterday. They walked to a bagel shop down the block to get a breakfast to go.

On the drive home, they sang along to the radio and talked about concerts they enjoyed. Every so often, Jake would reach over to Amy and squeeze her knee or hold her hand. At every touch, Amy’s heart skipped a beat. She was so happy. Who would have ever though that Jake Peralta would be able to make her so happy?

Eventually, they reached Jake’s building. He parked the car and turned it off, turning in his seat so that he was facing Amy. “So, I guess this is it. I’m going to miss you, girl.”

Amy was confused. “Um, I’ll see you again.”

Jake shook his head. “I was talking to the car.”

“Of course, you were.” Amy looked closely at Jake. He was really torn apart over losing his car. Charles had been right. Giving up this car would be the worst thing in the world for Jake. Amy hated seeing Jake like this. Especially after everything that had happened between them last night.

“I think you should keep your car,” Amy proclaimed.

Jake took her hand, squeezing it and shook his head. “No, no. You won fair and square. It’s yours.”

“No, it’s yours,” Amy argued. Jake opened his mouth to argue, but Amy held her finger to his mouth to quiet him. “It’s your car because the terms of our bet weren’t fair. You bet one of the most important things in the world to you. And for me, well, I guess I’ve realized that being ‘one of those chicks in your car’ really is not the worst thing in the world. Actually, ‘being one of those chicks in your car’ is kinda awesome.

Jake beamed. “Ames, you’re awesome.” He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek. He leaned back and they kissed for quite some time.

“Well, you still won the bet,” Jake stated. “What do you get?”

Amy smiled. “Let’s continue the bet. In one year, whoever loses has to pay to take the winner on a date.”

“It’s a deal.” Jake leaned away from Amy and held out her hand. She shook it, sealing in the new terms of their bet.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 4

I really need a pick-me-up after 2x11, and I feel like 1x7 might be what I'm looking for, so here I am again with another HSMTMTS rewatch. I'm genuinely so excited for both of these episodes, so without further ado, let's jump right into

1x6: She stands for... lies, pressure and very inappropriate suggestions (coming here after 2x11 might have been a mistake, actually)

I honestly don't get why Nini's reaction to seeing Ricky in full Troy costume was so big — he actually looked pretty ok to me. Sure, the wig is a bit too much, but so what, it's cute.

Ahhh my boy Reddy is so adorable in that talking head... 'click!' Gosh, I love seeing him so cheerful! Guess he's embracing his role as part of the crew. As he should.

'I'm home'. Yes, Sebby, and you look so good, too! Gosh, I love this scene so much. I can't believe I'd forgotten about it.

Gina looks beautiful, though — I mean, she looks beautiful in anything, but I really like the Taylor look on her.

Ok, I fully understand everyone's frustration about this picture — it's genuinely so hard to get a good picture of someone jumping up in the air, and I can only imagine what it would be like with six people. A bunch of my classmates tried to do something like that ages ago and, needless to say, it didn't go very well. No good pictures were taken that day.

Ah, Portwell: the early days. Ok, but wanting something and feeling like you have to get it is far from the same thing, EJ. Honestly, these two in their early days as accomplices... this is not the first time they've been like 'X is the same thing as Y' when it's obviously not. I mean, of course, that time they became accomplices because 'we want the same thing' — which, at that point, they didn't.

Ok, but they were in such unison with that 'Not now!'... couple goals! You know, even before either of them had considered the possibility of them being a couple for real.

That's a lot of pressure that Miss Jenn is putting on dear Carlito over there. I mean, he's one of the youngest at the drama club and he has to essentially do her job for her, all while she's not even sure if she'll be able to return to her job. I just... keep reminding myself that these kids are closer in age to my little brother than they are to me (except for EJ, who is precisely in the middle), and then the pressure they're under takes on completely new proportions in my mind. None of them should have to deal with all of this. And no amount of 'trust the process' is making it better.

'Should I just live vicariously through someone else?' Oh Reddy, you should just live for yourself. I mean, the truth is I don't practice what I preach most of the time, but I really do mean this. Just go out there and live your best life. You're not Ricky's therapy dog or anything (that being said, Ricky's getting a therapy dog when?).

What part of 'a forest of boys' does Nini not get? It's simple enough. Just help Carlos do his job, how about that? I mean, he shouldn't have to do everything himself anyway.

See? He cracked. That's what happens when you put all this responsibility on a teen's shoulders and be like 'deal with it'. He was just trying his best, you guys. He did not deserve all the clapback.

Ricky's forced optimism about Miss Jenn and the show is too much even for me. Sure, I know everything turns out mostly alright at the end, but this just sounds like Ricky's on the verge of a breakdown. You know, every time someone's been too unrealistically positive on this show, it has ended in a breakdown. And that's the last thing I want.

I do agree about the simple acoustic version of the song, though. Sometimes simple is the best option.

Major props to Carlos for going up to Mr. Mazzara like that. If someone had bullied me, and especially if that someone was a teacher, I'd never have dared to call them 'Benjamin Mazarra!' to their face. Even when he's on the verge of despair, this boy is still the boldest. And we love him for that.

Is this where the 'Carlos Surname' joke started, though? I had forgotten. It was funny while it lasted.

Ricky doesn't know it yet, but he's seriously playing with Gina's feelings there. And I don't blame him because, again, he doesn't know yet, but I still feel bad for her.

'Despite the 4.3 GPA, I'm actually an idiot.' — EJ is high intelligence, low wisdom, confirmed. Not that this is news, but I really don't remember much about this season, so I'm pointing this out now.

Now forgive me if I'm not feeling for Miss Jenn after 2x11... she did some really unforgivable things there. Still, as much as I want to say a real qualified teacher would not do any of that, my personal experience suggests otherwise, quite unfortunately. Miss Jenn might not be very emotionally mature, but not having legal teaching credentials is not her biggest issue, really. It is precisely her lack of emotional maturity.

OMG, Big Red accidentally invited the entire drama club over! And that, I guess, is half of how Redlyn established themselves as the hosts of every out-of-school drama club gathering. Thanksgiving is, of course, the other half. Gosh, those two were the parents of the drama club even before they were a couple. Guess they're soulmates in that way, too.

Ok, so I didn't comment on this after 2x8 when Big Red did it to Ricky, but now that I finally notice that Seb did it to Carlos, too (I took my time, thanks), I need to talk about the knee touch thing. See, this is exactly the amount of touch I used to be comfortable with (since I'm very touch-averse) — both on the giving and on the receiving end — and it can mean so much when you feel bad. It's a subtle 'hey, I'm here, it's going to be fine', a sort of hug-without-the-hugging... I feel like this is a gesture we don't see enough of in media and it can feel just as intimate as, say, holding hands or cuddling. I don't want to talk about kissing because I don't know anything about it. But I just love how we've got the knee touch depicted by both a romantic pairing and a platonic pairing in the show. Ok, rant over. But I just really wanted to talk about this because, well, I saw myself in it.

'Her past is a little bit sketchy'... I see, Ash has already started writing Truth, Justice and Songs in Our Key, even if she doesn't know it quite yet.

Miss Jenn finding out Mike is Ricky's dad is just as awkward as it should be. Whatever they had going on should have ended right then and there.

'... people in the dramatic arts are insane' — 'Thank you.' — Umm, Miss Jenn, you are not really helping your case there. Quite frankly, you're lucky you've got the allegiance of the entire drama club. I don't think they'd have your back as much after 2x11, though.

Ok, but... Big Red wearing a longcoat just to take it off for the dramatic flair of it all? An icon if I've ever seen one. Also, mad props to Larry for apparently learning this number in record time after Dara got injured.

Oh, and... mad props to all the kids in-universe for writing, rehearsing, and learning this entire number in one night.

So both Seb and Natalie have solo lines in the song... and Seb was promoted to main in s2. So does this mean Natalie will get the same treatment in s3? I mean, that will probably mean they'll try to stick her in some sort of romantic plot, and I really don't need that, but I really, really want her to be a main character.

Also, let's not forget we had our first Redlyn moment in this number... seeing them dance together makes my heart jump with joy!

I won't lie, though, the entire dance number and everything was just a little bit uncomfortable to watch after 2x11... these kids do so much for Miss Jenn, and what does she do? Put insane amounts of pressure on some of them, shuts others down at every attempt to put in a word, favours yet others despite their abysmal performance at the audition, and then has the audacity to tell that same person to jump off of something high, with all the implications attached? Not that I'm naming any names, of course. Ok, this has taken a sudden and uncalled for turn for the dark, so I guess I'll just move right along to the next episode now.

1x7: A world where 'That was terrible!' and 'I'm so happy!' can both be true at the same time

My girl Ash is doing the recap! And she's a pun queen, too. 'Miss Jenn was in hot water, Carlos was a hot mess...' — not pleasant, but so true. But wbk. Ashlyn is the best.

And... Ricky and Nini's on and off chemistry is back on. Good for them, because after season 2, I really needed to see a good rehearsal. But I'm thinking EJ's joy at the end-of-school bell had little to do with Thanksgiving...

That look Reddy gave Ashlyn as she was walking out... might be me digging for breadcrumbs, but I think I just saw the exact moment my boy fell, and he fell hard. Ok, I realise now after I've said this that 'fall' probably isn't the best choice of words, but you know what I mean. Fell for Ashlyn. Not like... oh, never mind.

'So meek, so mild, sword!' I can't really explain it, but I love this line. And I feel like it describes Ash so perfectly: like, she might be meek and mild, but if you cross her, she's armed. Gosh, I love her!

Not the Caswell parents leaving their children alone over two holiday breaks! No wonder these two are the way they are. But they're about to get a beautiful Thanksgiving celebration. [Fun personal fact: the year I was born, my birthday fell on Thanksgiving day. That doesn't mean much in Bulgaria, but my dad works with a lot of Americans so my parents knew about it and I've known this and that about this holiday I've never celebrated since I was very young. I have no idea why I'm telling you this, but Thanksgiving has always reminded me of my birthday for this reason, so... ok, moving on.]

So I know she kind of suggested it, but... why does Carlos think it's his place to invite people over to Ashlyn's? I mean, this was part 2 of Redlyn establishing themselves as the hosts for any out-of-school gathering, but... oh well, it led to a beautiful party with everyone, so... I'll allow it.

I really liked Nini's talk with her grandma. It was really nice, and a very fitting way to remind everyone what Thanksgiving is originally about. I feel like people often forget that when it comes to... literally every major commercialised holiday.

Wow, EJ really is that person where once the tap is open, it can't stop spilling. And I kind of like that look on him. It's a transitional stage between EJ 1.0 and EJ 2.0, and I appreciate it for what it is.

Ahhhh it's Redlyn's first proper 1-on-1 conversation! I mean, it got kind of really awkward really quickly because of — surprise, surprise — Nini and Ricky (and EJ), but those two are so adorable! No more breadcrumbs — we're about to get an entire five-course meal here! Which goes really well with the Thanksgiving setting, now that I think of it.

Gosh, they've never really talked and my boy whips out the 'the only thing I'd ever throw at your face is a brighter spotlight' line right off the bat? Boy is whipped! But like, he is the master of grand gestures where Ashlyn is concerned. Still, in this first moment they shared, he really was like, go big or go home, and home isn't really an option here. But I should have known, it's in his name after all. Gosh, I love both of those two so much! Especially when they're together.

Ok, so... this is a really bad way to meet your mother's new boyfriend. Poor Ricky. As if ringing his mum wasn't hard enough already.

See, when I rewatch season 1, I get where the Rina stans are coming from, but then again, remember when I used to say I wanted Gina and EJ to just be friends? Yeah, that's changed too. Not that I ever shipped Rina romantically — I rarely ever ship a pairing unless they're explicitly stated to have something going on, just because I can't see that sort of stuff very clearly — but I really, really want them (Ricky and Gina, I mean) to be really good friends. Once they get past the awkwardness of their sort of history, I mean.

I miss the good old days when Nini was a nice person... I mean, we kind of (really) had a glimpse of that in 2x11 (I'm guessing she was making up for Miss Jenn's very inappropriate slip-up), but I miss the days before she was this big internet-famous songwriter and actually had to be convinced by Ashlyn that she should write songs for herself... wait, now that I think of it... Ashlyn might have helped create a monster there. Oh well. Still love her so much!

You know, I love the Choosical, but it's all a bit sad, if you stop to think about it for a sec. Just picture little single-digit-aged Carlito making this whole thing up in an attempt to participate in his favourite thing... only to not have anyone to play with for the next ten years. Great, I just made myself cry. The thing is, I relate to that story a bit too much. I remember in preschool, when the rest of the children would play together, I'd sit in a corner by myself and read the only book that was there... over and over, day after day. I don't even remember a single thing about that little book right now, but back then I clung to it like it was everything. And I couldn't very much share the experience with any of my peers, seeing as I was the only kid there who could actually read (my grandma used to be a preschool teacher and she taught me to read when I was 4). So yeah. I went off on a rather personal tangent there. Thing is, I know how little Carlos felt and I'm so happy that he finally gets to share this thing he made with a loving and supportive group of friends. Everything has its time and place, I guess.

'Look, I'm not following Big Red just because he paid me a compliment' — of course not, dear, you know your own worth and we love that for you — but see, when he said that thing that you're referring to as a compliment, he did not lie! You really are the brightest star and deserve the brightest spotlight. See, the thing I love most about Redlyn's compliments to each other is that they're so sincere and state nothing but the absolute truth. Those two just see each other for what they are, and love each other as they are. And I think that is beautiful.

It's so funny to me every time someone gets something wrong and Carlos just walks past them out of nowhere and corrects them without missing a beat. I kind of relate to that side of him, too. Except it's usually about grammar and language in my case, not HSM trivia.

If I were Nini in this scene, and was suddenly put face to face with Emily on the spot like that, I would not have been able to handle it. So props to Nini for handling it.

Yeah, sorry to break it to you, Emily dear, but whatever you're doing is not a Cockney accent. I don't claim to be an accent expert, but I know first-hand what Cockney sounds like and... that's just not it. Even Dick Van Dyke was closer to a Cockney accent in Mary Poppins, and that's saying something. (See, I feel bad criticising any aspect of Emily because her actress is no longer with us, but... I have no idea who let them get away with passing this off as Cockney).

Is this the beginning of Jennzara there? I am loving this.

Of course Carlos was obsessed with Glee as a kid... but wasn't he a bit too young for it when it aired? I know I was, and I'm older than those kids. I mean, I waited until I was emotionally mature enough to watch Glee, and that wasn't until 3 years ago, when I was 18 going on 19. Ok, I'm thinking too much into this. Moving on.

Ahhhhh, Redlyn! Just... all of their moments. But screaming the lyrics of What I've Been Looking For on top of their lungs while looking right at each other... was so beautiful to watch. Give me more of that!

EJ: 'That was terrible.' Seb: 'I'm so happy!' — Moods, both of them. Those two are real-life emojis, aren't they? And we love them for that.

'... without laughing... or killing each other.' — I feel like that last specification was needed given that it's Ricky and EJ we're talking about, and especially what happened last time they had to do a one-on-one exercise during rehearsal. The ensuing scene, however, is the most hilarious thing!

Root beer, huh? Is that the HSMTMTS code for 'awkward' now? I mean, Nini and Gina had a nice talk there, all things considered. I really want the two of them to put the Ricky thing past them and be friends... but we'll see.

Gina is trying to make the sleepover thing look like 'it's not a big deal' despite how big of a deal it obviously is to her... to which I say, good for you, girl, but I wouldn't know. The only sleepovers I've ever had have been with my little cousin who is 9 years younger than me and also insists on sleeping with a very bright nightlight on, which means I can't sleep at all. So yeah, I wouldn't know. But I'm happy that Gina is feeling included.

So this is the exact moment when it becomes clear that Big Red is not telling us the complete truth when it comes to his HSM knowledge... '14 and 10'? Even I didn't know that. I knew 14, but... for someone who allegedly 'hates musicals', my boy has very detailed knowledge of one certain musical movie... I love how it got him a certain girl's attention, though. Not that she wasn't already paying attention to him, if you catch my drift.

Ok, but this hits even harder now than it did the first time — just when Gina has finally managed to make friends, to feel included in their group, her mum has to move her away again. This is straight-up tragic. I'll say it now, and I'll probably say it again when it comes up in the rewatch — Ashlyn is an absolute queen for taking Gina in for the next semester.

'That's sort of what you always do, huh? Take care of everyone else' — yeah, Ash, and you do the same. You two just need someone to do for you what you do for other people. See, guys, this is what I mean. This is why they're soulmates. Because in a world that has more or less forced both of them to put others first, they put each other first. They each get to be the most important person to each other after they've been stepping back for others all the time. And if that isn't beautiful, I don't know what is. I know I'm repeating myself over and over saying this, but... they own my heart and soul and I'm not for sale.

Ok, but Ashlyn's little run after Big Red left was so cute! Girl is... I don't know why I keep using that word, but... falling.

Unpopular opinion: Out of the Old is the best Nini solo to come out of this series to date. Maybe I feel that way just because I relate to it most, but hey, that is a valid reason to like something.

Oof, EJ's losing followers. Oh well, if they're unfollowing him for being too honest, they didn't like the real him to begin with. So good riddance to them.

Yikes... Jennzara fell asleep with flammable stuff left unattended... we all know how that ended, but just the fact that they felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in each other's presence... speaks volumes. So I guess... well, I don't know what exactly I'm saying regarding the fire they caused, but I loved this big little moment they had.

So this is it. That was 1x6 and 7 and, well, they were beautiful, but there are some parts I can't look at in the same way anymore after 2x11. Guess that's the risk of a rewatch. The Redlyn scenes, though — still the best part of both of these episodes. That and a couple of other things for which I don't need to pretend like I haven't seen season 2.

[btsslowburnfic]

BTBY Chapter 12

Story Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

Chapter Summary: Your fiancé is nowhere to be found; Namjoon returns to the hospital. 

Previous Chapter found here

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He easily  found his way back to your hospital room since he had just left, he stands in the doorway and waits as he hears you yelling,

“Where the fuck is he???” 

“Babe I don’t know. Ok? The nurses called and I called and Gina called. Maybe he’s passed out. He was here for like 3 days sleeping on that chair ok?” Xavier is trying to pacify you.

“I was in a fucking coma do you think I give a shit about that?” you respond angrily.

“Honey, you are also fucking high as a kite right now and also in pain. Let’s take some deep breaths.” Xavier starts doing some meditation exercises. Usually you would be all on board but your brain feels itchy, you can’t even put that many words together. “I wish I was fucking high right now. Namjoon flew here from London and he doesn’t even like me, why the fuck can’t my fiancé answer the goddamn phone?” you yell while crying. You know you were sad and angry and pathetic but you didn’t care.

Xavier sees Namjoon waiting in the doorway, “Ok sweetie. I hear that you are angry and have some shit going on from your brain hitting a car windshield. I’m going to go to your apartment and investigate OK? I'll bring back coffee. "

“No. No. Don’t you fucking leave me alone here. They keep saying shit to me and I can’t keep up with them because my brain isn’t working and I don’t know what’s happening.” you say very sad and angrily. You have been struggling for the past few hours as doctors and nurses and a police officer have come in to try and talk to you and you just woke up and you don’t know what is going on. Goddamn your brain feels itchy. 

“I’m not leaving you alone, I’m passing you off to this guy who doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like you so much he flew in from London and then came to the hospital within minutes because of how much he doesn’t like you,” Xavier's voice is dripping with sarcasm as he waves to Namjoon and walks over. “Thanks dude. As you can tell, our little [Y/N] is having an emotional and crazy time at the moment. Idk why they thought swarming her with the cops and like ten doctors in the past hour was a smart idea, but here we are. I’m going to see what the fuck is going on with Ben." 

"That's no problem. Is there anything I should know before the doctor or nurses come?"

Xavier thinks for a moment," It was a hit and run. It’s an active police case. The car hit her so hard she has shards embedded into her skull. Like her actual fucking face bones.” 

"Oh my God." 

"Yeah, she's lucky to be alive. Alright, I'm off to play fucking Nancy Drew." Xavier excuses himself. 

“Hey,” Namjoon said, walking into the room.

“Nooooo….” you whimper.

“What, you don’t want me here?” Namjoon says, feeling an ache in his chest.

“I didn’t want anyone to bother you,” you start sobbing. This wasn’t his problem. He already had his week turned upside down by you being in the hospital.

“It’s no trouble. I just had to run back to the hotel and grab my phone charger.” he lies, “I was coming back anyway.” Namjoon sits down on the bed next to you.

“Really?” you say, trying to sound normal but it’s still a messy sad sound.

“Really, I’m afraid to let you out of my sight honestly. Carelessly getting hit by cars.” he says, rubbing your arm.

“It was just one car.” You correct him, he laughs. “I don’t remember anything.” You say quietly. “The police came and asked me a bunch of questions but I have no idea. I was on my way from work to pick up lunch and that’s the last thing I can remember.” 

Namjoon sighs and looks down, feeling guilty for how selfish he’s been this past week. “That’s ok sweetheart, you’ll remember some things with time. Otherwise, I’m sure a business or something has cctv recording or something.” 

“Yeah,” you respond. “I’m sorry. I know this whole thing is awkward. And my brain is a little off right now. My veins feel itchy.”

“Yeah, that’s the pain medication. Don't worry about being awkward, You’re fine..”

“Umm Ok then, can I ask what Ben and you talked about?  last night. The nurse mentioned both of you were here and talking to each other”

Namjoon feels a tightness in his chest and he pushes past it, “Umm yeah...I explained to Ben that I was your soulmate. At first Ben didn’t believe us but we showed him our wrists. He was confused and I think a little mad because you hadn’t told him. He said he was going home to take a shower and I told him he should also rest because he actually looked like shit.” He pauses for effect,  “Not like us. We still look really good when we’re tired, he looked rough, like bad,” he explains, you can tell he is trying to make you laugh. You give him a smile. “I told him that when we met you told me you had  a boyfriend and didn't care about the soulmate thing.” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah,” you say because you don’t know what else to do.

A Doctor comes into the room. “Hi, I’m Dr. Reid. I’m one of the surgeons here and I was just wanting to show you a few x-rays of your skull if that would be ok?” 

“Are you feeling up to that?” Namjoon turns to ask you.

“Yeah I think so,” you sit up a little more and Namjoon moves back over to his own seat. He takes out his phone. Rude, you think. The doctor pulls up the x-rays and shows you the shrapnel that is still in your skull. He explains that there is no reason to remove it and that it shouldn't cause any long term issues but if it does, a small surgery could be done to remove it. You thank him and he leaves.

“Ugh there is no way I’m going to remember all of that,” you whine as you sit back. Just listening to that had been exhausting.

“It’s ok, I took notes,” Namjoon flashes you his phone screen where he had diligently written down the information. He also had notes in there about the medications the nurses had given you since last night. 

You feel tears in your eyes. Fuck. Fuck. You feel your heart warming itself to him and you have fought so hard this past year to keep this from happening. “Thanks,” you say.

“What’s wrong?” he puts his phone away and walks over to you.

“I can’t tell you,” you squeak out.

“Is it about Ben? I’m sure it’s weird talking to your soulmate about your fiancé.” Namjoon sighs and gets up to walk around. You feel sadness in your body that wasn’t there before. 

“No. It’s not. It’s just. It’s weird having you here and being nice to me. I never thought I was going to see you again and here you are. And you are being so kind.”

Namjoon stops and puts his hands on his hips, “Yeah. The whole thing is pretty strange. I can go back to being a total asshole if you want?” he turns, putting on a very gruff expression.

“Hmm you know usually that would make me feel better, but I think I’m too tired today to keep up with your asshole wit. Maybe tomorrow you can work your way back into it.”

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep. I’ll stick around in case the doctor’s or nurses need something.”

You look out the window. It seems weird that it’s so sunny and bright when it’s so cold and strange inside. What the fuck was going on with you two. This made your head hurt as much as the shrapnel in your “face bones,” as Xavier had so delicately explained.

You hear Namjoon sigh and walk back over. He’s scrolling through his phone.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, starting to feel drowsy.

“Ah it’s nothing. Just reviews from the show coming in. We had to decide whether or not to postpone performances or for the band to perform without us. I’m telling Taehyung to head back. I’ll meet up with them In Amsterdam.” 

You instantly feel terrible. It’s your fault he wasn’t able to perform. “Shouldn't you join him?”

“I’m still not 100%. In case you didn’t realize. . If I’m going to miss out on performing I might as well be here.” he says nonchalantly. 

“I’m sorry.” you squeak out as tears are falling down your face. The medication and head trauma have made you emotional. You don’t normally cry so easily. “I’m sorry for getting hit by a car.”

“Oh my God, stop it, you sound ridiculous.” he responds. Normally you would have the energy to insult him back but not today. You just try not to cry and end up crying more. 

“Hey, it’s ok. Really. You know what? I could use the break. I haven’t had a day off in months.” he gets up and brings you some tissues. “Really. It’s fine. The fans understand. They are just worried. The producers know what’s going on. The guys are just glad that we’re both ok. It’s really not a big deal. Let’s focus on getting you better.” he says as he strokes your soulmark. “Don’t worry. When you’re all better I’ll make sure to make you feel terrible about all this,” he smiles at you.

You laugh into your tissue so the snot doesn’t go everywhere. You are a nasty mess. Why is this hot man talking to you and trying to cheer you up? You are also exhausted. Your eyes burn. You close them for a second to feel some relief and it becomes increasingly hard to keep them up. You hear Namjoon, “That’s right sweetheart, rest up. I’m not going anywhere right now.”

Namjoon plugs his phone into the wall. He’s sent messages off to the rest of the team about the schedules and takes a deep breath as he’s sure the news of his missing a few concerts will have repercussions. Oh well. He can’t leave you here like this. Part of him wishes he could, but something in his very essence has changed over the past few hours. He finds himself rubbing his soulmark and wondering how he ever thought about getting it removed. NEXT CHAPTER

@calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @ghostkat23​ @cuteipat​ @marianeamine​ @thisisval​

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 1x02 Review

The Read-Through was a great ep that surpassed the already high bar set by the premiere. Let’s dig in!

I had read about it in reviews but wow that Ashlyn and Nini duet was amazing. Julia Lester has a very powerful voice. It really was a wise decision for to show to film the kids singing live as much as possible

‘Wondering’ the song really highlights that although the show knows how to poke fun at itself and the movies, it is a deeply earnest show. It’s hilarious that Miss Jenn decides that the drama teacher of all characters needs a power ballad and of course Ms. Darbus herself was never a very important character in the movies but rather than play the whole situation for laughs they actually deliver a really moving song that gives a lot of depth to the role of Ms. Darbus in the musical and ties in beautifully with Nini’s conflicting feelings regarding Ricky

I’m pleasantly surprised at how they’re already giving Ashlyn some depth. I wasn’t sure if I’d like her that much based off of the little we knew of her before the show premiered but she really brings a lot to the table. I’m very glad they’re not going the cliche route of EJ is embarrassed to be seen publicly with his weird cousin. I like the little touches we get with her like her wearing her grandma’s glasses and her over exuberance at the read through. I’m curious to learn more about her and EJ’s families because although they’re cousins they are very different people

A really strong ep for Ricky and one that sure’s to please Nicky shippers. Dousing himself in cologne because he thinks the ‘pheromones’ in it will please Nini was such a teen boy thing to do (and loved the brand name throb). It’s good that Nini called him out for not taking the musical very seriously, for having auditioned just so he could be close to her, and for not being able to commit to things. He really needed that wake up call and it led to some good character growth when he buckles down and learns the choreography which was a funny scene and it reminded me of Phil Dunphy doing the same thing on Modern Family

Strong work by both Joshua Bassett and the writers with the glimpses we get of Ricky’s home life. It was a sad but realistic detail when Ricky didn’t want Big Red over because of how tense things have been at home. And I liked that Mr. Bowen sat down and watched Ricky practice rather than just going back to bed or berating him. I’m sure Ricky’s mom isn’t trying to hurt Ricky by staying in Chicago but just ghosting her family like this is only delaying the inevitable conversation she’’s going to need to have with her husband and Ricky

So far the show is doing a good job of balancing angst and drama and romantic moments for Nicky. Nini was clearly impressed by seeing Ricky performing the choreography in the library and she then avoided EJ on her way out. She definitely had a bit of a moment when she made eye contact with Ricky during Wondering and again she avoided telling EJ what was up. Kourtney bluntly asked her if she really wanted to be with EJ and Nini’s answer didn’t sound all that convincing. I don’t blame her for being torn, she and Ricky had gone out for a while and it was only a little more than 6 weeks ago in universe that she told Ricky she loved him

The show took a big step towards making Nini’s choice easier by somewhat villainizing EJ. I’m glad that Ashlyn correctly called him out for being scary and for pointing out that he doesn’t own Nini. Him saying that he wanted to stay with Nini because she made him a better person right after asking Ashlyn to steal her phone so he could read her messages sure was something

It’s true that as Ashlyn said EJ is being paranoid but as the old saying goes, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they’re not out to get you. Ricky really is trying to win Nini back and breakup her and EJ and Nini really does still have some level of feelings for Ricky. That of course doesn’t justify his bad actions but the motivation for his jealousy and insecurity are there. And we also get an important line from Ashlyn about how EJ could stand to not always get what he wants. He clearly expected to win the lead and be with Nini for a long time only to have Ricky waltz in at the last moment and pull out the rug from under him

 In a way I’m glad that they’re starting to unravel NJ now because that will ultimately make things less messy when the show starts guiding Nicky back together. As I’ve said before, love triangles usually devolve into someone cheating on their significant other in some fashion and the less emotional cheating we get on this show the better imo

Miss Jenn continues to be a G rated April Rhodes and I’m here for it. It’s wildly inappropriate for her to basically nudge Nini and Ricky back together because it will help the show and she believes in their chemistry but it’s exactly the kind of stuff she needs to be doing in her role as an agent of chaos. Her going hard with the solo during the read through and making such a big deal out of Gabriella’s 2006 phone was too funny. We got another phone call with her mom about money problems, we’ll see what comes of it.

Gina made a big splash this ep. I liked that her plot involved convincing Ricky to stay as an indirect way to get Nini out of the way, that was clever of her. We get a little glimpse of how being a transfer student and her desire to make a place for herself colours her actions and we get to see how observant she is. She went full on villain at the end though when she took Nini’s phone and put it in EJ’s bag. Gina has no way of knowing if there actually is anything on Nini’s phone regarding her and Ricky but she’s clearly picked up on the spark that’s still there between them. EJ would be a fool to work with her because they are not in fact after the same thing; EJ wants to be the Troy to Nini’s Gabriella but Gina wants to be Gabriella in place of Nini and I doubt she cares who plays Troy. Those are mutually exclusive goals right there

Good ep for Big Red as well, his cult line was funny and his awful readings of the stage directions was hilarious. He continues to be a steadfast friend for Ricky, they’ve got a good bromance going on

A pretty funny ep all around, lots of great lines. I think my favourite is the exchange between Miss Jenn and EJ where she said he was lurking and he says he was going for loitering

Not quite sure what to make of Carlos thinking that Ricky was going to assault him in the library. I did like the start of a possible friendship we see between him and Ricky. Seb gets some lines and we learn he’s a piano playing farm boy with milking glasses and he’s a sophomore like Carlos. It will be interesting to see when they start something with Seblos and how far that relationship will go this season. Seb is in all 10 eps this season if Joe Serafini’s imdb is accurate which puts him above all the other guest stars

It wasn’t romantic of course but just seeing a bunch of guys holding hands with guys and girls holding hands with girls really shows how much further HSMTMTS will be able to go than Andi Mack was. There’s just no way a mass hand holding scene like this would ever have been allowed to happen on Andi Mack. And the casual way Nini referred to one of her moms sending her fortune cookie sayings in a regular ep instead of one of the two or three designated textual gay eps per season that Andi Mack was allowed was refreshing 

I really liked the skate park and shooting at an actual high school continues to pay off for the show

Looking Ahead:

It’s looks like most of the clips we’ve seen on various trailers came from the first two eps so we’re in largely uncharted waters going forward. Hopefully someone uploads the next ep promo

We know EJ has an apology song coming up so he likely gets caught sooner rather than later and I wonder if Gina gets exposed with him or if her breakdown scene we saw in the promo relates to something else

Until next week wildcats

[sativaaaaaaa]

Just Us Two || Sarah Paulson

Part One 🔽

15: "I'm so so sorry."

16: "This is all your fault!"

|Reader's name is Gina and the baby's name is Ava. Time skip : 2 years later||

Gina

These past two years have been eventful to say the least. I found out that my daughter ended up having non verbal Autism. To any other parent that would be heartbreaking or something hard to deal with but I've managed to balance her and my job. Well... the job I did have. I've had too many scares with Ava's asthma so I ultimately had to quit to take care of her full time.

It gets a little hard.. Dealing with her on my own. I mean, I have family and friends and they do the best they can but when the sun sets and its just me and her in the apartment, things just aren't the same.

Since I don't have a job I can't afford Ava's therapy sessions so today was her last session for a while, just until I got some more money. She was making great progress though; we found out that music was a really helpful tool in having her interact and it was helping her make sounds and let loose. So in honor of her progress we decided to go get ice cream.

Everything was going smoothly until we ran into someone...

Zarlengo's Italian Ice and Ice Cream

"What do you want princess? Do you want strawberry or fruit punch?" As I was asking Ava what she wanted I held up one finger for strawberry and two fingers or fruit punch. Since she doesn't speak I've found ways and tricks to use when she has to decide between two things.

She looked at me for a while before holding up two fingers. I smiled and her before placing a small kiss on her nose as we moved up in the line. Once I made it to the front of the line I began to place my order.

"Hi can I have one scoop of fruit punch Italian ice and one small Arctic Cooler with strawberry Italian ice?" I shifted Ava on my hip while grabbing a $10 bill out of my pocket.

The cashier rang us up and handed me my change before we stepped to the side. There was some music playing lightly which made Ava kick her feet in excitement. Another smile appeared on my face as I began to dance with her in my arms while playfully nudging her nose with mine.

She let out a laugh before placing her hands on my cheeks and kissing my forehead.

"Thank you Avacado. Mommy loves her avocado's kisses!" I softly cooed at her.

The bell at the door rung catching my attention. I glanced over my shoulder just curious to see who it was but was immediately shocked when I saw Sarah walk in with her new girlfriend, Holland Taylor.

I quickly whipped around and thankfully my number was called. I walked up to the counter and I grabbed Ava and I's Italian ice before retreating to the back of the parlor so Sarah wouldn't notice me.

Seeing her made a bunch of old feelings, good and bad, bubble to the surface. Ava was the only thing keeping me grounded at the moment so I just decided to enjoy my time with her instead of worrying about who was around me.

Soon we were done and I grabbed some baby wipes out of my purse and cleaned Ava before collecting our trash and standing up.

"Come on Avacado, its time to go home." I picked her up and placed a kiss on her cheek but as I started walking to the door Sarah looked over at me briefly making eye contact with me.

I cursed in my head seeing her walk over towards me. I wanted to bolt out of the door but I stood there with Ava in my arms as she got closer.

"Gina? Oh my goodness. Um, how are you?" She stammered over her words seeming a little nervous and a little shocked.

"I'm as good as I can be. How are you?" My voice lacked emotion and my stare was blank. I was trying really hard to keep my cool but memories of her leaving and me going through labor by myself kept flashing in my head making me upset. But I concealer my feelings for the sake of Ava; I didn't want to frighten her and make her have a behavioral episode.

"Umm I've been. I've been okay I supposed. Who's this little cutie?" Oh.. So she wanted to act dumb.

"This is Ava, my daughter. She's 2." I gently tickled Ava's side to get her attention. She squealed and tried to grab my hand which eased my anger some - but not all the way.

"Well hi Ava." Sarah gave her a little wave and Ava gave her the same before laying her head on my shoulder. Sarah looked confused for a second before glancing at me for an explanation on why Ava didn't speak.

"She had non verbal Autism. Today was her last day of therapy for a while." I muttered trying to keep my cool. Talking about her struggles always made me upset. Not at her but at the fact that everyone basically left me at the first sight of trouble; Sarah included.

"Oh my goodness. I'm so so sorry. Why was this her last therapy session? Shouldn't she been in therapy until she speaks or something?" Sarah rambled on in a low voice trying not to cause a scene or draw attention to us.

"I can't afford it. So we'll keep doing what we can at home until I come up on some money to pay for her sessions." I shifted on my feet realizing that my anger was slowly growing by the second. It almost bursted to the top because she touched me... She grabbed my arm and tried to soothe me. Like really?

I stepped back from her as soon as her fingers grazed my arms. My eyes held fire but I kept my voice calm as I looked her dead in the eye.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"Gina don't be like that. I can explain everything." She bargained with me. She reached out to touch me again but I moved away before she could.

"There is no explanation in this world that could vindicate what you left me to endure by myself. You just left without a warning, blocked me on everything possible without a second thought. Your careless and selfish decision made our friends feel like that had to choose and guess who got chosen. Certainly wasn't me obviously because if it was I wouldn't be saving everything I could possibly get my hands in to provide for the child that you wanted and left me with and now I can barely provide for her because the person who vowed to have my back through thick and thin decided to leave me when life got a little too heavy hitting for her liking. There is nothing you can say or do to ever get me to forgive you. This is all your fault." 

Hot tears were streaming down my face but my voice never wavered in volume or emotion. Her face read nothing but pure guilt. She had nothing else to say. She just stared down at her shoes leaving nothing but silence between us.

I scoffed and wiped my face with my free hand turning around and walking away from her and out of the parlor. I tried to hold my emotions in as Ava and I walked home but the tears just kept flowing but I wiped them every time they fell.

I had to be strong; for myself and for Ava. I was all we had. No one else had our backs. It was just us two......

___________________________

word count : 1314

|| Sorry if us this is a little trash. I just got off of work and decided to write this since I had a bit of energy left. But I digress. Avacado is Ava and avocado put together 𝒐𝒃𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚, Zarlengo's is a real ice cream and Italian ice place where Im from so yeahhh. And an Arctic Cooler is half vanilla ice cream half flavored Italian Ice. Its really good guys 😭 But that is all for now. |

[blazeperalta]

Hindsight 20/20

A week after Jake leaves for his undercover mission, Amy can't help but vent to her colleagues about how a certain someone's feelings have left her questioning everything.

I wanted to contribute something to this super creative fandom. I have no idea if it’s any good but I had fun writing it. Hopefully someone else enjoys it! :) https://archiveofourown.org/works/19192810 (AO3 link)

Amy Santiago has always prided herself on being good at keeping secrets.

It’s probably a skill that comes with being one of eight siblings, and the only girl at that, because keeping secrets about one brother from another was just a part of growing up. Keeping secrets from her parents was a big no-no. And her teachers. And her Captains, obviously. But anyone that is not keeping a secret from a superior has every reason to expect said secret to be well and truly safe.

Which is why it’s such a surprise when one week after Jake left for his undercover mission, she spills her heart out to Rosa, Boyle and Gina about something she thought would be just as much of a shock to them as it was to her.

Apparently not.

The precinct’s been feeling off for the last week. As annoying and obnoxious as Peralta was (is, she reminds herself), his voice and his bets and his antics and his general being just brought a specific type of energy to the Nine-Nine. She’s experienced the lull on the very limited times he’s taken a sick day in the last 3 years she’s known him, not to mention the short time he just had off after getting suspended. But back then she’d always known he’d be back. Now he’s working with the freaking Mafia. It’s a big deal and she’s happy for him of course and when she first found out about it all she could really think about was the amount of bragging she’d have to put up with when he gets back. But after her conversation with him right before he left, all she can do now is worry about him.

If something bad goes down.

Evidently, the rest of the squad feel the same way because after a full Jake-less week at work they all agree for a few drinks at Shaw’s to get drunk and vent any worries that comes with one of your colleagues getting fake-fired and going undercover with a strict ‘no contact’ rule and hanging out with a bunch of criminals that can kill him at any second and oh God she suddenly can’t breathe again.

So she’s been sitting there pretty numb ever since they’ve arrived and has been silently sipping on her beer. She also knows Teddy’s been texting her asking if she’s still heading over to his apartment tonight but she can't bring herself to text back. Which is wrong, she's aware, but she’s enjoying half-listing to the conversation the others are having about Jake (they haven’t really expressed any worries since they got here - it’s mainly just reminiscing about the ridiculous things he did before he left).

But then Holt goes home to his husband, Terry to his family, Hitchcock and Scully to whatever it is that Hitchcock and Scully do, and Amy still can’t bring herself to go to Teddy’s. Out of guilt she sends him a quick text saying she doesn’t feel well after drinks and is heading to her own place. Teddy of course texts back with an “I understand. Feel better” and it only makes her feel worse for lying to her perfect boyfriend.

“You’re being quiet, Santiago”. Rosa’s abrupt voice snaps her out of her own thoughts and she glances up from her phone.

“Sorry,” Amy replies.

“That wasn’t a complaint”.

Amy looks around the table at the remaining members of the squad and is suddenly mindful of the fact that they all look concerned for her. It puts her at ease slightly. These people will understand what she’s going through. Holt and Terry care a great deal about Jake. She knows they see him as a son, whether they want to or not, but at the end of the day they both have a spouse - someone else to vent to. And she doesn’t feel like this is something she can vent to Teddy about

Gina of all people gives her a sympathetic look. “Ames, Jake leaving sucks balls but we’re all here for the same reason.”

“Yeah, I don’t know who I am without Jake!” Charles is heading towards hysteria again. She’s seen it a lot from him this past week. “I need a shoulder to cry on! And because I don't have Jake’s broad shoulders, you three are going to have to do!”.

Rosa pipes in again, this time in a softer voice. Well, as soft as Rosa can sound anyway. “Yeah. Look, as much as I hate…feelings. The last thing I want is for you to have a breakdown in the middle of work because you haven't dealt with what’s going on. So suck it up, man.”

Amy risks another glance at her colleagues. Gina wasn’t supposed to find out about the undercover mission but somehow figured it out anyway. She's Jake's oldest friend -known him since they were children and she stood up for him when one of the other kids stole his inhaler - Gina knew him too well to think he cut her out of his life just because he got fired. Rosa was Jake’s closest friend in the Academy; both brilliant at the time but not nearly as brilliant as they are now, and Amy knows her friendship is a big reason why Jake made it through. Charles became like Jake's brother when they were both already detectives. He always thought the world of Jake, and Amy suspects that feeling has since become mutual.

They were all Jake’s partners in some way, shape or form throughout all the most important moments in his life. And they’ve lost him for an undisclosed amount of time too. Now Amy’s definitely feeling brave.

She exhales, dragging out the pause for as long as possible. “Right before Jake left…he told me something that kind of threw me.”

She expects them to jump in - as the Nine-Nine is known to do - but they all just stare at her, eyebrows raised and drinks on the table.

“He told me he liked me. Romantic-stylez”

Rosa’s face doesn't give much away but Amy thinks she sees her eyes widen a fraction. Gina silently sips her wine while giving Amy a knowing look. And Charles—

“HE TOLD YOU??”

All of a sudden, Amy’s jaw drops. So much for being numb. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew! Who do you think urged him to ask you out?”

“He didn’t ask me out”

“Oh, my sweet naive Amy. You have no idea what you have put that boy through in the last few months.”

The words exchanged with Charles has left Amy pretty much speechless. Here she’s been feeling bad because she thought she was spilling this big secret that was supposed to be between her and Jake. Apparently Charles already knows, and Jake tried to ask her out?

Rosa and Gina were watching the whole interaction while casually sipping on their respective drinks and enjoying the free show. It piques her interest.

“Did you guys know?”

At that, Gina finally puts her glass down and licks the last remaining drops of red wine off her lips.

“No offence ‘cause you're a good detective, but I think you're the only one who didn’t, boo.”

“Wait, so he told everyone except me?”

“He didn't have to. I think the only person he actually told was Ter-bear. Everyone else kind of figured it out.”

Rosa, never one to skirt around a subject, asks the question that has been on Amy’s mind for the last seven days, “You really didn’t know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean Gina’s right, you’re a good Detective. And Jake’s been openly flirting with you since you started working with him.”

“Okay, that’s not fair. Jake and I never even got along when I first started at the Nine-Nine, and there’s a difference between flirting and bickering. He's like that with everyone.”

Rose scoffs, “he’s not like that with me.”

“Or me.”

“Or me”, Charles sounds sad for some reason.

“Look”, Rosa continues, “Don’t worry about it too much. I’ve known Jake a long time and he’s never going to do something to make you feel uncomfortable. If he does, tell me and I’ll kick his ass."

“No, you’re right. I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I’m just shocked. How long has he even felt this way?”

“Longer than he realised,” Charles butts in, “but he didn’t admit it until you ran into Teddy at Tactical Village."

Everyone gives him a look.

“Oh, was that a rhetorical question?”

“Yep,” says Rosa.

“Dammit!”

“So what exactly did he tell you?” Amy never took Rosa as the type that was invested in her friends’ personal lives, but maybe she cares more than she normally lets on.

“He saw me and walked over and made a joke. Normal Jake stuff at first. Then he suddenly seemed nervous so I asked what was wrong. He said he knows I’m with Teddy and he didn’t want to be a jerk but that he wished something had happened between us…romantically. And that he would be pissed at himself if he hadn’t told me and something bad happens while he’s undercover.”

She’s paraphrasing like she hasn’t had every single word he said memorised verbatim from the second they crossed his lips.

“What happened after that?” Charles asks with freakin’ tears in his eyes as if he’s just watched the cheesiest proposal video on YouTube.

“He just left. Didn’t even give me a chance to respond.”

“Well what would you have said, girl?” Asks Gina.

“I don’t know”, Amy admits. “I was so shocked. I always thought the teasing and banter were just some sort of competitive part of his personality. Now I can’t help but think of every interaction we’ve had ever since I’ve met him and pick it apart. I mean this is Jake Peralta we’re talking about! I didn’t know he had feelings!”

This time, it’s her turn to be the recipient of judging looks.

“You know what I mean.”

“Amy,” Charles sincerely looks at her, “I honestly think he’s the greatest person who ever lived. But Jake’s never been great at emotions. I had to basically spell it out for him that night he won the bet and took you out on that date.”

“Yeah”, Gina quips “If the blatant flirting wasn’t enough of a clue, fake-proposing to you and spending a fortune that he didn’t have on a bet where his prize was literally a date with you kind of gave it away.”

“Oh, God”. She spreads her arms out on the sticky table that must not have been cleaned all day, getting whatever alcohol has accumulated since on her fancy new blouse, and lets her head fall onto them.

The relief team. She knew he turned down the relief team. She remembered thinking it was weird at the time, and he never brought it back up which was even weirder. She remembers how upset he got when she told him she might be moving to Major Crimes. She remembers that he framed a picture of the two of them and put it next to his desk. She remembers that he wrote her a recommendation letter. She remembers it still goes on the good date list and it sucks a little less when I get to do it with you and you look great.

And now that she thinks back, maybe he did look a little bummed when she told him she was going out with Teddy and when she told him she’s going away for the weekend with Teddy and when she said she wanted to take a dance class with Teddy. She’s thinking back to every interaction she’s had with Jake in the last few months and hates herself for it. She knows she shouldn’t. She hasn’t done anything wrong, point blank. But Jake’s her partner. Her friend. The person that makes her laugh more than anyone in the world (though she wouldn’t admit it) and she hates that she hurt him - intentionally or not. Jake having feelings for her is the last thing she wants, but it’s also surely the last thing he wants too. It’s inconvenient and messy and things will probably be awkward when he gets back. And she knows it’s a long wait until then.

“I juuuu vaa to tallll to hii abooo id n i cannn”

“What?” Rosa sounds annoyed. “Get your head off the table”.

Amy shoots her head back up. She looks pained; her brow’s furrowed and her frown prominent.

“I just want to talk to him about it and I can’t.”

It’s normal for Gina to give her a look of pity, but Charles? She’s feeling really pathetic right now. Rosa’s face remains indecipherable but Amy knows.

“I guess I’m also pretty mad at him for dropping this bomb on me when he knew he was leaving.”

“I get that.” Rosa admits, “Jake could have handled this better. But I think if he wasn’t going undercover, he would have taken this secret to his grave. At least as long as you’re with Teddy. The undercover thing was probably the push he needed. It sucks for you, but people do crazy shit when the stakes are high.”

“Okay, it wasn’t like an admission of love or anything, it was admitting to a crush. He’ll probably come back with a girlfriend having forgotten all about it.”

There’s that look of pity again.

And when he eventually comes back six months later and she tells him she's still with Teddy, he tries to take back what he said. Which hurts her feelings for some reason. But he gives her that look. She knows that look now; recognises it from the other times she mentioned her boyfriend. Hindsight 20/20 and all that. Later that same day he takes it back again and tells her he meant it and he still does, but he respects her relationship with Teddy.

It’s frustrating and infuriating and it confuses her to no end. It takes an undercover mission and a further six months away from everything he knows for Jake to fully admit his feelings.

It takes Amy a lot more than that to admit hers.

[randomly-random-jen]

Worn Around the Edges

3013 words | rating: PG

Bellamy tries to be the friend that Clarke needs while she deals with what happened in The City of Light even if it tears apart his heart.

“So,” Bellamy says, leaning on the wall next to Clarke. It’s late; everyone not on watch is asleep. Of course Clarke is up. He’s not sure she sleeps anymore. Day or night, whenever he’s on patrol, she’s wandering around.

“So.” She pushes her hands into the pockets of her jacket. He hadn’t noticed her trading in her Grounder leathers for standard Ark attire. Hadn’t realized how much he missed the familiar look until now.

He mimics her pose—hands in his jacket pockets. She lets out a soft sigh; he’s not sure if it’s just relieving stress or from agitation. He sighs in return. She leans her head back against the cool metal; he leans his head back. Finally, she looks up at him, eyes narrowed.

“What?” He shrugs. They stare until Clarke relents with a roll of her eyes. Bellamy chuckles and bumps her shoulder. “You okay? You’ve been out here for a while.”

“Have you been following me?”

“No, I just happen to notice you when I’m on patrol.” That’s half a truth. He doesn’t tell her that he actively looks for her while on patrol even if he isn’t actually following her.

She looks away. “I’m fine.”

“’Cause you don’t look fine.”

“Well, I am.” There’s no fight in her words, though. She sounds as defeated as she looks. Like the weight of the world’s become too much to bear. He wishes she’d let him bear some of it for her, but that’s not Clarke.

They’re quiet for a while, just staring up at the stars, their breath puffing from their mouths. Bellamy glances down at Clarke. Her hair is still braided and matted, but it looks like she made an effort to straighten it out. She’s lost the hard edges she sculpted in Polis. Gone is Wanheda. He thinks that might actually be a problem. He’s watched her transform from this seventeen-year-old bossy know-it-all to a confident, although bossy, leader of a bunch of delinquents to the larger-than-life, Grounder commander. Now the Grounder part of her is disappearing. What if that’s the part that’s been giving her all the strength?

She lets out a long breath, her eyes fluttering closed.

“You ready to talk about it yet?” he asks cautiously. “Because I think you need to talk about it. If not with me then with your mom or Raven. Someone.”

“I’m fine,” she murmurs.

“Clarke, you’re not fine. I know you’re not because any time anyone brings up the City of Light, you change the subject.”

She tenses at the name, and for a second he thinks she might bolt, but then her shoulders slump. “I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe I can help. Sometimes just saying it out loud can make you feel better.”

“Bellamy, I really don’t want to talk about it. It’s complicated and confusing and-”

“So Lexa was there.”

She startles at his blunt statement, her eyes wide and glistening. He doesn’t want her to cry. God, he hates it when she cries. She looks away, confirming his suspicion.

He shifts his weight, curling his toes inside his boots to relieve the urge to run. This conversation is already awkward as hell, and he knows continuing it will only make things worse, but he can’t stop—it needs to be done. “Is that why you don’t want to talk to me about it? Because of Lexa?”

She swallows hard. “I don’t want to hurt you, Bellamy.”

He chuckles. “I’m a big boy, Clarke. I can handle listening to you talk about your girlfriend.” It’s the closest either of them have come to acknowledging his pretty obvious feelings for her. It’s the truth, though—he’s adult enough to just be her friend if that’s what she needs. Even if it hurts.

“You hated Lexa.” Her voice is so small he can barely hear her.

He shakes his head. “I never hated Lexa. I didn’t trust her, but I didn’t hate her.”

“She was just trying to protect her people.”

“I get that. But-” He licks his lips. He doesn’t want to hurt her. That’s probably impossible in her current state.

“But?” she prods, turning to face him.

“She betrayed us. She left me in that mountain to die after I risked my life saving her people. So you can see why I’m a little bitter.” Her brow furrows, so he pushes on. “We would have never done that. You would have never done that. You would have fought until every person was out safe. And maybe if she’d stuck by us things wouldn’t have ended the way they did.” He looks away. He didn’t mean to unload on her, especially when she’s grieving, but that’s been building for awhile. He bites down on his lip to keep from saying anything else.

He tries to ignore the soft sniffles, but they tear at his heart like razor blades. He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I shouldn’t have said that. Not now.”

“But that’s how you feel.”

He can’t look at her. “But it’s not about me right now. This is about you. And Lexa was important to you.” He doesn’t know what else to say. He’s pretty sure she’s not going to talk to him about it now.

“I never meant to hurt you, Bellamy.”

“I know. You did what you needed to do.”

They stare at each other for what seems like an eternity to Bellamy. Clarke finally looks away, her eyes shifting to the ground between them as one tear after another drips down her cheeks. His heart collapses in on itself. If it was any other time, he’d probably pull her into a hug, but he can tell the wounds are still too raw, and his words stung a little too deep. “I just wish I could understand what you saw in Lexa. I know my vision is clouded by Mount Weather. And I didn’t like the way she was manipulating you-”

“She wasn’t.”

“She was, Clarke. I get it, though. She wanted you in Polis, so she did what she had to do to keep you there.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He wants to tell he does know because part of him wanted to do the same thing. To convince her in any way possible to come home, but he hadn’t. Lexa had. It was another strike against her in his book.

“I stayed because I wanted to stay. Because I could help more in Polis than here. Because-” She stops, her mouth snapping shut as more tears flood her eyes but don’t fall.

Bellamy lets out a long breath, leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. This has to be the most painful, awkward conversation he’s ever had. Especially with Clarke, and they’ve talked about some strange, painful things.

“Because you were in love with her,” he finishes. The words taste like ash in his mouth.

“I never-” Her voice quivers, and she sucks in a rattling breath to fight back the tears. “I never told-”

“I’m sure she knew, Clarke. You think you’re closed off and cold, but you wear your heart on your sleeve more than you know.” It’s one of the things he loves about her. But he’s not going to tell her that now. Maybe not ever.

Clarke sniffles as she collects her emotions which twists his heart even more. “She was there,” she whispers after a while.

“In the City of Light?” Finally, she’s talking about it. Maybe she’ll get some closure.

“She saved me. I was so weak, and everyone was attacking me. I thought it was over.”

Bellamy pictures Clarke slumping on the throne, her life slipping away. And Murphy’s arms, elbow deep in Ontari’s chest, keeping Clarke alive.

“And then she was there. I wouldn’t have found the kill switch without her. I wouldn’t have been strong enough.”

Bellamy doubts that. “You think it was really her—an imprint on the chip?”

“I don’t know. I believed it then. I needed to believe it was her, but when I made it to the kill switch, Becca was there. She told me I controlled the A.I. That I could affect the world.”

“And now you’re not sure if Lexa was real or not.” No wonder she’s so conflicted. She nods. Her hands come up to cover her face, hiding more tears he knows are there. He feels sick inside. Sick that she had to go through that. Alone. That she’s still trying to do it on her own. Then there’s his own heart, being shredded up as he tries to be a good friend. “Clarke,” he says softly, moving a step closer. She trembles when he rests his hand on her shoulder.

Suddenly she pushes his arm away, taking several steps away. That hurts more than he thought it could.

“I can’t,” she says. “I just can’t do this, Bellamy. Not now. Not so soon-”

He sighs. “I’m just trying to be your friend. Nothing more. I told you, if you don’t want to talk to me then talk to your mom. Talk to Raven. Hell, talk to Monty—he’ll listen. You need to work through this, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

“I don’t want to forget her.” She sobs into her hands.

Bellamy’s eyes shoot open, his mouth gaping. “When did I ever say that you should forget her? I don’t want you to forget her. You loved her. Why-”

Maybe he’s not ready to do this either. He runs his hand over his face and through his hair, pulling at the curls at the nape of his neck in frustration. He takes a step towards her, but then thinks better of it. Instead, he paces a few steps away to calm his racing heart.

“Clarke, look at me.” His voice is barely above a whisper. He closes the distance between them, stopping short of her personal space. He waits until her eyes meet his. It’s too dark now to see anything but black coals. “I want you to listen very carefully to me. I’m not trying to make you forget Lexa. I don’t want that, just like I wouldn’t want someone pushing me to forget Gina. She was important to me. Lexa was important to you. Focus on the good memories. For a long time whenever I thought of Gina it was tainted by-” He swallows hard, forcing the words out. “By her death. I couldn’t see past it to the good times we had together, and that just fueled the anger. And we both know how that turned out.”

Amazingly, he gets a small laugh from her. He’s glad she’s looking away because he can’t hide his relieved grin. “Forget all of the bad things—the betrayal, the manipulation, her death. Think about-” He’s not sure what to tell her since every one of his memories of Lexa is clouded by his mistrust and dislike for her. “Think about what made you want to stay in Polis. How she made you feel when you were together. Think about how she loved you. She loved you so much she tried to change her entire culture to impress you. That’s some kind of love.”

The truth of it hits him hard—Lexa attempted and almost succeeded in changing the way her society functions. She risked everything. And she did it all for Clarke. He rubs the back of his neck. The fact that he could never live up to that destroys him a little.

Clarke sniffles again, but her tears seem dried for now. “I almost stayed,” she whispers. “In the City of Light. A.L.I.E. gave me the choice. I could have stayed and been with Lexa forever.”

Bellamy looks away and tries to keep his breathing even so she won’t hear the pain in his voice. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because people were counting on me.”

Bellamy nods. What else is there to say? The weight of it crushes him every moment of the day, too. There is always someone counting on them to fix everything. He watches her hugging herself.

“And because Lexa wouldn’t have wanted me to. She would have wanted me to keep fighting. To save our people—Skaikru and Grounders.”

He thinks she might start crying again, but she just takes a long breath, letting it out slowly. “And because I promised you I’d come back. I wouldn’t abandon you.” She looks anywhere but at him.

He’s so caught off guard he just stares at her, mouth slack. He blinks away the prickle of tears. Finally, she looks up at him. “I couldn’t hurt you like that again.”

Screw it, he thinks and wraps his arms around her. She doesn’t hesitate or flinch away this time. Her arms pulled him in closer, fingers digging into his shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Bellamy.” Her voice catches. “I should have never left. That was selfish-”

“Stop it, Clarke. Just stop, okay?” He pulls back so he can see her face, pushing her hair from her damp cheeks. “Remember that whole forgiveness thing we talked about?”

“You said it was hard.”

“It is, but I think this is one you can give yourself. I told you, I’m over it. I’m tired of being hurt and angry. It happened; it’s over, and now you’re back. End of story.”

She sniffs, her hands gripping onto his wrists. “And you’ve forgiven yourself.”

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. “No, but I’m working on living with myself. It’s the best I can do.”

She frowns as she works through it all. He brushes her tears away with his thumbs. “Clarke-” He tries to put into words what he’s feeling, but it’s all jumbled in his head. He sighs. “What we’ve been through-” He pauses again. “We were tossed down here, completely unprepared for even basic survival. Then we’re thrown into one war after another.” She looks up at him, brow knit together in that cute way that kills him every time. He loses his train of thought for a second. “What I’m trying to say is our lives are completely screwed up, most of it through no fault of our own. We’re doing the best we can. We’re still alive, so I think we’re doing okay.”

He reluctantly pulls his hands away, shoving them in his pockets to keep from reaching for her again. She wipes her eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. They go back to looking at the stars twinkling miles and miles above them.

“Do you think,” she asks, her voice soft, but void of the distress he heard earlier, “that if we were still up there on the Ark—if it didn’t die—that we’d be friends?”

He glances at her out of the corner of his eye. He’s thought a lot about it, and he doesn’t like the conclusion he’s come up with. She won’t like it either, but he won’t lie to her. “Clarke, if we were still on the Ark, we would have never met. We have nothing in common and run with completely different crowds. You’re- Were-” He hates bringing up the word slung around like a slur those first days. “-part of the privileged. I was a freaking janitor.”

She frowns at him. “I don’t care about that.”

“Yeah, I know, but the chances we’d have ever met are slim to none. Besides you were in lockup the last year.” He gives her a crooked smile that gets an eye-roll. He feels like he’s making some progress. “And you’re way out of my league anyway. I knew that the moment I met you.”

“Bellamy-”

He throws his hands up. “Just thought I would put that out there.” He can’t help grinning ear to ear hearing her laugh, seeing her smile. The little pieces of his heart start to glue themselves back together. No matter how much he wishes things were different between them, what he really wants is for Clarke to be happy.

A gust of winter air kicks up. Clarke shivers from head to toe, and Bellamy has to admit he’s cold, too. He bumps her shoulder. “Come on, let’s go inside before we freeze to death.”

She ducks her head, apparently trying to hide her smile. Then she hooks her arm in his as they walk back to the door. “You know,” she says, “I don’t think I’m out of your league.”

“Really? I swept floors, Clarke. And not even in important parts of the Ark. Like on some sub-level of a section of a station no one cared about.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “I think if we’d met on the Ark—by whatever circumstance,” she adds the last part quickly to keep him from commenting, “I think we’d have eventually become friends.”

“And what part of our first days on this planet makes you think that? The part where I was a total ass? Or the part where you were a bossy-”

She smacks his arm, but she’s still smiling. He can breathe a little easier now. “We figured it out eventually.”

“Yeah, because if we didn’t work together we’d be dead.”

She glares up at him. “Are you really that against the idea?”

“No, just being realistic.”

“That’s my job. You’re supposed to be impulsive and arrogant. What happened to that Bellamy?”

“He’s growing up.” He stops as they get to the door. “For the record, if we’d managed to get past the wanting-to-kill-each-other stage of the first few days, we’d definitely be friends.”

Clarke studies him for a few moments. “You don’t believe that.”

“I want to believe it because the idea of not having Clarke Griffin in my life is incomprehensible.” He pulls the door open then moves out of the way so she can enter first. “Of course, it’d be a lot less chaotic and confusing, too.”

“Shut up.”

He smirks as he slams the door behind them. “Whatever you say, princess.”

originally posted at my blog on 7.4.16

[originalhybridloverfics]

Bodyguard CH5

Oliver groaned reaching for his phone on his nightstand that was going off, he blinked the sleep from his eyes as he glanced at the screen that was far too bright in his near pitch black room. His brow furrowed as he saw not only the time but the name that flashed across the screen as well.

Why was Detective Lance calling him at two in the morning? He swiped his thumb over the answer button. "Detective Lance?" his voice came out gruff with sleep.

"Queen," Quinten Lance's voice came over the line. "I have no time for pleasantries."

Oliver frowned at his short attitude. "What's wrong? Why are you calling me this late? Is this about another girl you need Felicity to take in?"

"This is about her. There was a disturbance called in at her address-"

Oliver's heart pounded in his chest and he didn't need to hear more than the fact that something had happened at Felicity's. He dropped his phone on the mattress as he quickly climbed out of bed throwing on the first pair of jeans he could find, slipping his shoes on quickly. He could faintly hear Lance's voice calling out to him thinly from his phone. He didn't bother with a shirt and simply pulled on one of his gray zip-up hoodies, grabbing the keys from his apartment he was out the door, forgetting to grab his phone.

He swore to God if Felicity wasn't alright he was going to hurt someone. More than likely kill someone.

                                          ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Felicity sighed as she rubbed her temples, her foot stinging from standing on the open cut as she tried to answer all the questions the police were throwing at her.

She hadn’t planned on calling the cops, wanting to handle this herself but that didn’t seem to matter since her neighbor Mrs. Deloris was the one to call the cops, having heard glass breaking and had gotten a little-frightened someone was breaking in.

"Mrs. Smoak?" Felicity looked up to see Detective Lance approaching her.

"Detective Lance? What are you doing here?" she frowned.

"You think when your place came across the scanner I wasn't going to book it here?" He shot her an incredulous look. "Are you alright? What happened?"

Felicity opened her mouth to reply when the sound of screeching tires sounded, her brow furrowed. "You didn't call Dig or Oliver on your way over here did you?" She hadn't planned on keeping this from them. Just downplaying it a bit because they were worried about her enough as it was. If they knew what happened she knew for sure she wouldn't be shaking their concerns off any longer.

Lance frowned at her. "You need to take this more seriously. And if you won't let Oliver know, I will."

No sooner has the words left his mouth she could hear the front door being thrown open, hitting against the wall and Oliver striding into the room, looking like a man on a mission, a storm brewing in his eyes. "Felicity!"

"You can't be here sir." An officer stopped him. "This is a crime scene."

"Get out of my way. Now!" He growled, eyes glaring darkly. He needed to get to Felicity make sure she was alright.

"Sir, I don't know who you are. You need to leave."

Oliver's fist clenched the veins in his arms bunching. "I'm not going anywhere. Move." Oliver was barely keeping himself from knocking out the officer who was only doing his job. "Where's the woman that lives here? Where's Felicity?!"

"Sir, I won't say it again. You need-"

"It's alright, Let him through." Detective Lance called out and Oliver looked up to see him standing with Felicity, dressed in only a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. Relief hit him at the sight of her relatively unharmed.

He pushed past the officer with eyes only for her. "Felicity,"

"I'm alright," she assured him as he came forward. "I'm fine. Nothi-" She cut off mid-sentence in surprise as Oliver wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to him. The move was so sudden and unexpected she fell silent.

His arms around her caused a wave of emotions to hit her and she slowly brought her arms up, hands on his sides just as he was pulling back, hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay? Were you hurt? What happened?"

"I'm fine. I wasn't hurt. And-"

"Miss Smoak, I need you to sit down so I can take a look at your cuts." She was cut off by the paramedic.

"Cuts!?" Oliver's eyes widened. "Where?" he took a step back running his eyes over her form from head to toe.

Felicity sighed. "My foot just got cut by a little glass, it's not a big deal."

"You said you weren't hurt." A muscle in his jaw ticked, showing his upset.

"I wasn't." She tried to maneuver her way around the broken glass on the floor. "Stupid glass is everywh- Oliver!" she yelped in surprise clutching at his shoulders as he suddenly scooped her up into his arms, carrying her out of the room and over to her kitchen, the paramedic and Lance following behind them.

"You're bleeding, You were hurt." he set her on the counter, stepping to the side so the paramedic could do his job. "What happened?"

Felicity sighed as the paramedic began looking at her foot, cleaning the blood away and looking for any glass.

"It doesn't look like you'll need stitches. But you'll need to keep the wound clean and stay off your foot for the first couple days so these cuts can heal properly." The paramedic talked as he used anti-septic on foot before bandaging it and wrapping it.

Felicity waited till the paramedic was done before answering. "I don't know. I was sleeping. I woke when I heard a window shatter. I went to investigate, found the window broken."

"You should have called me." Oliver frowned intensely. "What if it hadn't been just a broken window? What if someone had broken in? You could have been seriously hurt or worst."

"But I wasn't," Felicity argued. "Everything's fine."

Oliver scowled, clenching his jaw. "Everything is not fine. Nothing about what happened tonight is fine, Felicity."

Felicity sighed, pushing her hair back away from her face, "I didn't want to worry any-"

"What the hell happened to your wrist?!" while the words were said with anger, his hands were gentle as he cradled her arm, looking closing at the bruise coloring the skin of her wrist.

"I thought you said no one had broken in?" Lance leveled her with a disapproving look.

"They didn't." she tried to pull her hand back but Oliver was unrelenting as he cradled her hand, examining it.

"Then how did that happen?" Lance questioned, raising one eyebrow at her.

"I had a run-in with a man earlier at a diner." She reluctantly admitted.

"What man?" Oliver finally dropped her hand but he looked even more upset then a moment ago.

"Just some man. I don't know who he was." She mumbled, avoiding looking at Oliver.

"Fe-li-ci-ty." he dragged her name out by every syllable and she felt a shiver run down her spine, the way he said her name doing things to her she didn't have time to put a name to. "The truth. Please."

"It was Gina's ex." She found herself answering him with the way he was looking at her. " I went by Big Belly Burger to get some food and he confronted me about her as I was leaving. Made some threats. When I tried to walk past him, he grabbed my arm." Oliver swore his expression darkening. "But I was fine, Jes-"

The sound of her house phone ringing sounded and she moved to get down from the counter.

"No. I'll get it." Oliver moved toward her house phone, answering it on the fifth ring. "What?" he barked into the line.

"Oliver?" Oliver could hear the confusion in Digg's voice. "What are you doing at Felicity's? Is she alright? Did Jessi call you too? Is that why you're at her place?"

"Jessi?" Oliver's face scrunched up in confusion. "Why would Jessi call me?"

"Felicity was there. He said some asshole had been watching her and that he had some kind of encounter with her as she was leaving. Jessi chased the guy off and made sure she got to her car safely."

"Why did he call you and not me?" Oliver frowned.

"Because I'm more approachable." Digg's tone was dry. "This happened earlier. I just now got his voice message. He left it for me a few hours ago," There was a pause. "Wait, if Jessi didn't call you. Why are you at her place?"

“Someone broke into her home.” Oliver’s jaw clenched.

“What? Are you there with her? Is Felicity okay?” Dig demanded tone full of concern.

“Yes, I’m with her now. She’ll be okay.” Oliver said he would make sure of it.

“I’m on my way. Don’t leave her on her own.” Digg hung up before Oliver could respond.

Oliver placed the phone back into the receiver. “Digg is on his way.”

Felicity sighed. “He doesn’t need to do that. I’m fine.”

“He’s your friend, he found out you had an altercation with a man earlier tonight and then he finds out that someone broke into your own. Of course, he’s going to be here.” Oliver moved back over to her, his hand landing on her shoulder. “When were you going to tell me what happened earlier tonight?”

“I was just telling you before Digg called,” she said rather defensively. Okay, she hadn’t planned on saying anything but Oliver didn’t need to know that.

“And if I hadn’t seen your wrist would you still have said something?” He asked sharply. “Or would Digg and I know about it because of Jessi?”

Felicity pursed her lips. Damn it, she knew Jessi’s heart was in the right place but why couldn’t he just keep what had happened at the diner between them?

“Right,” said Oliver with a shake of his head. “When are you going to start taking this more seriously. This is your life-”

“Your right it is my life.” Felicity cut him off, raising her chin stubbornly. “Which makes it my choice.”

Oliver threw his arms out in frustration. “Your choices are going to get you killed!”

“Maybe you just need to have a little faith that I know what I’m doing!” Felicity snapped back at him.

“Well do you? Because from where I’m standing you don’t! You're being reckless.” His body was tense, his fist clenching at his side, jaw clenching, his blue eyes were a darker shade than she was used to. “I’m not going to stand by and let you get yourself killed! I can’t!”

Felicity's eyes widened, her heart skipping a beat about how passionate he sounded and his need to keep her safe.

“Alright, how about we take this down a notch.” Lance interrupted having watched them go back and forth.

Oliver clenched his jaw, sending a glare at Lance for the interruption.

Lance focused on Felicity. “I’m gonna need you to give me your full statement.” He didn’t want to have to make her come down to the station after everything she’d been through tonight.

“Alright.” Felicity nodded, pulling her gaze from Oliver.

Lance pulled out his notepad to take down her statement.

Fifteen minutes later Felicity was almost finished giving Lance her full statement when Digg came striding through the door, officers parting as his large frame moved through the room. “Felicity, thank God, you’re alright.” he walked right up to her and hugged her gingerly.

“I’m fine,” Felicity told him as he pulled back looking at her full of concern while also appearing calm.

“Nothing about this is fine.” Oliver stood to her side, arms crossed over his chest.

Digg looked at Oliver. “What happened?” he knew Oliver wouldn’t downplay it the way Felicity would have.

“Someone threw a rock through her window.” Oliver ground out, turning his intense gaze on Felicity. “And she doesn’t see how much worse this could have been.”

Felicity rubbed her forehead in frustration. “I’m not going to keep arguing with you about this, Oliver.”

“No, he’s right, Felicity,” Digg interjected, tone grave. “What if it hadn’t been just a rock? What if someone would have just broken in here? You could have been seriously hurt or worse and then where would we be?”

Felicity was about to respond but was cut off by Detective Lance speaking. “I understand that there was a note, wasn’t there?”

“Yes.” Felicity answered reluctantly casting dreaded looks at Oliver and Digg.

Lance waved an officer over and he handed an evidence bag and inside was the note, he read the message out loud. “I don't care what I have to do to get what's mine. Even if I have to go through you. You should be more careful. You never know when someone is watching and I can promise you I am watching your every move, Felicity Smoak.” Lance looked up at Felicity worry clear in his expression. “Do you have an idea who might have done this?”

“No. In my line of work I’ve gained a lot of enemies.” Felicity answered, casting looks at Oliver and Digg for their reaction.

Digg had crossed his arms and was side-eying her, giving her one of his Digg’s look that basically said she was smarter than this.

Oliver.. Oliver was a whole ‘nother story. He was clenching and unclenching his jaw his eyes were dark with anger, his back rigid and the set of his shoulders tense, his hands were tightened into fists so tightly the white bone of his knuckles could be seen beneath his skin. “You…” he looked at her with an unreadable look in his eyes that she couldn’t decipher. “Whoever the fuck did this left a note like that and you weren’t going to tell me about it?” he asked lowly.

“I didn’t want you or Digg to worry,” Felicity admitted, feeling guilt for her intentions of keeping something from them.

“Well, that’s just too fucking bad. Because I am worried!” Oliver all but exploded, his cheeks flushing red in anger. “How the hell am I supposed to protect you if you won’t let me do my damn job?!”

Felicity bristled at the notion that she needed a man’s protection. “I can protect myself!”

“But you shouldn’t have to!” He returned heatedly. “If you stopped being stubborn for five freaking minutes you would see that all I want is to keep you safe!!”

Felicity opened her mouthing but nothing came out, she shut it, staring back at him, her chest felt tight, her heart skipping a beat in her chest at his words. His blue eyes were so intense it felt like they were piercing through her.

“Alright, let’s take this down a notch.” Digg gave them both a look before turning back to Detective Lance. “I’ll write up a list of possible suspects who did this and get it to you first thing in the morning.”

Lance nodded. “Good, it could help us find out who did this.” he focused his gaze back on Felicity. “Do you want to press charges on the guy who did that?” he nodded his head at her bruised wrist.

Felicity shook her head. “No. I wasn’t seriously hurt.”

Lance frowned wanting to argue but just shook his head. He really wished she would take her own safety more seriously. “I don’t agree but it’s your decision. I will advise that you reconsider and you shouldn’t stay here alone at least not until the situation is taken care of.”

“I can’t go anywhere else. This is my home.” Felicity shook her head.

“And it’s not exactly safe at the moment and you’re a young woman living alone,” Lance stressed. “You need to be serious about this. Your safety is important.”

“She’ll be safe.” Oliver cut in. “She’ll be staying with me.”

“What?” Felicity’s head whipped toward him, eyes wide. “No, I’m not.”

“Either you stay with me or I stay here with you crashing right outside your bedroom door,” Oliver warned, he wasn’t joking. If she was insisting on staying here then he would make damn sure he was close in case something happened again.

“Digg,” Felicity turned to her longtime friend and partner. “Would you be the voice of reason and talk some sense into him.”

“No, I'm with Oliver on this one,” he said much to her surprise. “If you want to stay here you better be prepared for two guard dogs cause I can’t let you stay here on your own in good conscious. Or you could come home with me. Lyla and I have a guest room.”

“I can’t impose on you and Lyla like that.” she protested immediately.

“You wouldn’t be.” he said.

“No.” Felicity told him.

“So what’s it gonna be then?” asked Oliver, his eyes unrelenting. “The two of us standing guard at your door or my place where it’s secure.”

Felicity didn’t want them standing guard at her bedroom door like guard dogs but she also didn’t want to impose on Diggle and Lyla. “Alright, fine.” she looked at Lance. “I’ll be staying with Oliver until this is cleared up.” she shot Oliver a glare. “Happy?”

“Ecstatic!” He deadpanned.

Lance nodded, relieved to know she would be in good hands. “You can get a few things and go, my officers and I will wrap things up here. You can stop by the station tomorrow with Mr. Diggle with that list.”

Felicity pushed off the counter. “I just need to get a few things.”

                                                ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The ride to Oliver’s place was a tense and silent one. Diggle had returned home once he was sure she was fine and she would be safe with Oliver.

Felicity found herself watching Oliver, his muscles were rigid with tension. The way his hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly the white of his knuckles shown through his skin. The way he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

She broke the silence in the car when she could no longer take the tense atmosphere between them. “Are you gonna say something?”

He shot a quick look at her his eyes angry but he said nothing, turning his gaze back on the road.

“I get it you’re angry but-”

“There is no but about it. Of course, I’m angry.” he said heatedly. “You could have been seriously hurt tonight and you weren’t even going to call me.”

“I don’t have to call you every time something goes wrong. I won’t rely on you that much.” Felicity felt her own anger rising.

“But I want you to.” his voice raised. “I want to be there when you need me, I want to be the one you turn to.”

The thought of needing someone put her on edge. “Well, I don’t want to need you.”

“Right.” it came out through clench teeth as he glared out at the road ahead.

Felicity winced, that came out worse than she had intended. “I don’t want to need anyone, Oliver.”

“No,” he shook his head, his hands tightening even further on the wheel. “I got it.”

She pursed her lips as the car came to a sudden stop. Felicity looked out to see they were parked out in front of a two-story brownstone.

Oliver, turned off the ignition, climbing out of the car. “C’mon.” Felicity sighed, closing the door behind her as he reached into the backseat for her bag. She followed him silently up the steps, she tapped her foot as he put the key into the lock, opening the door and gesturing for her to go inside.

She stepped inside and after closing the door behind them, Oliver brushed past her. “I’ll show you to the guest room.”

Felicity followed him through his home, looking around and saw it was pretty much what most bachelor pads looked like, stainless steel tables, leather couches, and furniture, though there were a couple family photos.

“This way.” Felicity followed him down the hall, he pushed a door open, walking inside and setting her bag on the Queen size mattress.

Felicity glanced around the room as she stepped inside.

“The bathroom is one door down to the left and my room is just across the hall. If you need anything let me know.” he clenched his jaw. “Or don’t since that is what you prefer.”

He closed the door behind him before she could respond and she heaved a long drawn out sigh, flopping down onto the bed, throwing an arm over her eyes.

Ugh, clearly Oliver was really upset with her. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

                                                     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver stared up at his ceiling, unable to fall to sleep, he turned his head looking out his bedroom door that he left open in case Felicity actually needed anything. His brow furrowed. He couldn’t understand her reluctance to let him in. Was it something he did wrong?

If it was he wish she would just tell him what it was he did that made her not want his help.

Why was it so hard for her to just let him be there? That’s all he wanted.

He wanted to be the one she turned to, the one she relied on. The one she needed.

He just wanted to keep her safe because the thought of her being hurt, ripped at his chest like an open wound and lit a fire inside him he wasn’t sure he could control.

He was unsure of why she refused to let him help her but he did know one thing. He would find out who was behind tonight’s events and he would put the fear of God into him and if whoever it was came near her again he would kill him.

                                                    ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Felicity spent the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Her fight with Oliver bothered her more than she’d like to admit.

When morning came it was almost a relief, she didn’t have to keep up the pretense of trying and failing to get a decent night sleep.

She walked out of the guest bedroom, clothes in hand to take a shower, she chanced a glance into his room through the open doorway but she didn’t see him. She pursed her lips wondering where he could be?

She walked toward the bathroom door, noticing it was closed and thought maybe he was in there. She raised her arm, her hand poised to knock just as the door opened, revealing a freshly showered Oliver, wearing nothing but a towel low on his waist.

She felt her breath hitch, her eyes focusing in on the bare chest in front of her and the most perfect abs she saw in her entire life. She just might have swallowed her damn tongue.

Her eyes traced every dip and line in his perfectly defined body. She held her arms more tightly to her own body when she felt the urge to trace his every muscle line with her hands. It wasn’t like it was the first time she saw him shirtless, she seen him spar with Digg with no shirt multiple times, but his skin was still wet and there was a lone drop of water traveling down his chest and she wanted nothing more than to lick that single drop, swiping her tongue against his flesh.

Jesus, what was wrong with her? Oliver was her employee but more importantly, he was her friend. You weren’t supposed to be thinking these kinds of thoughts about your friends.

“Felicity?”

When she felt his hand lay atop her shoulder, she jerked her gaze up to find him watching her, speaking her name. Her face flushed with embarrassment realizing he had been talking to her the whole time she’d been ogling him. “Hmm?”

“Did you need to use the bathroom?” he questioned, his mouth pulling into a frown. “Are you alright? You seem out of it.”

“No, no, no, I’m fine.” she said quickly. Too quickly. “I’m just still half alseep.” she lied, forcing a smile she hoped was convincing. “But after a shower, I’m sure I’ll be more awake.”

Oliver dropped his hand, stepping to the side so she could get to the bathroom. “The water's still hot, there are towels on the shelf and a new toothbrush inside the cabinet.”

Felicity watched as he walked to his room, the muscles in his back shifting, once his bedroom door closed behind him, she shook her head, closing the bathroom door behind her and leaning against it. “You cannot have lustful thoughts about Oliver.” she told her. “You absolutely can’t do that.”

But who was she kidding? She totally just had those exact thoughts about his amazingly perfect abs.

Damn him and his stupid amazing abs.

                                          ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Felicity wandered through Oliver's home following the scent of freshly brewed coffee and she was pretty sure she smelled bacon and pancakes.

And found Oliver with his back to her, now fully clothed as he cooked pancakes on the stove. “That smells good.”

“I thought I make us some breakfast before we head to the shelter.” Oliver turned off the stove and moved the finished pancakes from the pan to a plate on the kitchen island before moving and retrieving two plates from the overhead cabinet.

“Would you mind if I help myself to a cup of coffee?” Felicity wondered.

“Make yourself at home.” Oliver placed pancakes on both plates and sat the proper silverware beside them.

Felicity moved around reaching for a cup in the cupboard, pouring herself a cup and making it how she liked it. She could feel Oliver’s eyes on her as she moved to take a seat at the island.

A silence fell between them as he took the seat beside her. She felt like there was this divide between them that hadn’t been there before last night.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Felicity commented to fill the silence.

When nothing but silence followed she thought he wasn’t going to respond at all until he said. “I don’t get to do it that often.”

Felicity nodded, lifting her fork and take a bite of the pancakes, her eyes widening at just how good they were. “Wow,” she said after a moment. “That’s is really good. I can’t cook to save my life. I burn water. Where did you learn to cook so well?”

Felicity waited for him to respond but he never did, she looked over at him to see his gaze was focused on her. Or more precisely on her wrist which had turned a dark purple in the shape of fingers encircling her wrist. “Oliver?”

She waved her hand in front of him and his gaze snapped back to hers. “What?”

Felicity sighed, placing her fork down and turned to him more fully. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just..” He clenched his jaw. “I can’t understand how you take everyone’s safety seriously when you won’t even take your own safety into account.”

“Oliver, it’s not that I don’t take my own safety into account.” She told him, wrapping her hand around her coffee cup and feeling the warmth.

“Then what is it? Because from where I sitting that’s what it looks like. Why didn’t you call me? Or Digg?”

“I told you last night I didn’t want to need anyone.”

“I remember.” Oliver's voice was low and she could hear the slight twinge of bitterness.

“When I was with my ex, Cooper, he made feel like he was the only thing I could depend on. Made me feel like I couldn’t even depend on myself.” Felicity found herself saying, wanting to be honest with Oliver. “But I can depend on myself now. I know how capable I am and I won’t let anyone tell me different.”

The frustration melted away as Oliver’s eyes softened in understanding. “You think just because you depend on someone that you’ll go back to that?"

Felicity felt the soft understanding look that came over him, pulling at her resolve and she looked away from him.

“Felicity.” he placed his hand on her shoulder, waiting till she returned her gaze back to him before speaking. “It’s okay to depend on others. It doesn’t make you any less capable. It doesn’t diminish your strength. I don’t think anything could. You are one of the strongest people I know.”

Felicity felt his words washing over her like a balm and she placed her hand over his on her shoulder.

“I just want to make sure you’re safe.” Oliver murmured, his other hand itched to reach out and cup her cheek, but he restrained himself from doing so. And it was so fucking hard. “I need you safe.” He needed her safe the way he needed the people he cared about moat safe.

“Okay.” Felicity said after a moment, being drawn in by the intensity in his eyes the depth of concern in his voice. And if she was honest with herself it felt good to know that Oliver cared about her so much.

“Okay?” Oliver repeated. “Okay as in okay you hear me or okay as in okay you’ll call me if you ever think in danger?”

“Both,” Felicity answered moving her hand from his sliding it down his arm. “I hear what you’re saying and if I ever truly believe I’m in danger, something I can't handle on my own. You’ll be my first call.”

Relief washed over Oliver and his lips pulled up into a smile. “Thank you.”

Felicity gave a chuckle. “You’re thanking me for saying you’ll be my first call.”

Oliver grinned then. “I am. Any guy would be lucky to be you’ll first call no matter the reason.”

A blush fanned across her cheeks, and she ducked her head, biting back a smile.

Oliver couldn’t stop himself from brushing her hair back tentatively, his knuckles brushing her cheek, feeling a tug in his chest pulling him toward her.

Felicity cleared her throat, lifting her coffee cup back up. “So when we go in I’ll compile a list with Digg about potential suspects of who might have been the one to throw that brick through my window and then you can take me down to the police station to see Lance.”

Oliver nodded as he put the appropriate amount of distance between them. “Sounds like a plan.”

And he would find Gina's ex, warn him of the consequences of coming after Felicity. And if he had to break a few bones to get his point across so be it. If he thought he could treat Felicity the way he was clearly used to treating Gina. He had another thing coming.

No one went after Felicity. Not when he could do something about it and he was more than willing to make example of anyone who came after her.

And whoever it was that threw a rock into her window will soon learn that they targeted the wrong woman.

If you want to be tagged message me the fic name to let me know.

[screaminginternallyalleternity]

jane headcanons (+ others, because this girls relationship to other people is important to me)

ben can turn into a beast. like an actual beast. but he has full control over it, and he never ever does it unless he thinks he's in a life-or-death situation. jane knows about it and doesn't tell anyone cuz its none of their business but it does lead to weird looks when jane gives him something humans can't eat/drink and everyones like wait a sec

because ben can change and by definition he is Not Human but everyone forgets that (they also forget janes fae a lot too)

jane and ben are actually really good friends because Introverts™ need to stick together.

bens really protective of her but he'll never admit it unless someone asks (brother/sister but no one else has context for it so they come across as two random people that know weird amounts about each other). Do Not Hurt Jane Where Ben Can See It.

janes kinda like sherlock holmes, running experiments and doing stuff that looks really bizarre without context (and she rarely gives it because people don't ask and having a reputation as a weirdo lets her get away with doing stuff other people would DEFINITELY get in trouble for) (ben lonnie doug and sometimes chad know what the context is. they let her do it, because the bafflement on peoples faces is always funny)

she and her mother have a relationship kinda like gina and holt on brooklyn nine-nine: ones more of an authority figure, but have a rock-solid friendship (this does cause trouble when jane needs her to be a parent) because parental authority doesn't quite stick after the fortieth year of a humans life and that authority doesn't stick around anywhere near as long for fae.

you're equals in physical power and there isn't a full chance one will outlive the other why deal with that?? fae run on a different morality than humans okay, parental authority isn't gonna be a thing that transgresses species. (also FG has been more on the neglectful side when it comes to raising jane (not fully her fault she's a busy lady) and as jane ages she's lost the desire to have FGs attention. they are friends tho

like "mom i need your permission to do this thing" 

"you've never asked my permission to do this thing before?? why now??"

"because if i screw it up i don't wanna be the only one blamed for it"

(jane and ben have had this conversation too btw)

if jane and FG are gina and holt then jane and chad are gina and jake: they've influenced each other since childhood (jane on chad more than the other way around) but most people don't know they known each other that long so when the two do something weirdly in sync everyone not in the know is just???

but they love each other but jane thinks chad a douche now and is going to be forever Not Impressed™ until he cuts it out

she knows where all the clubs and bars for fae are and she drinks there once or twice a month. she keeps getting into arguments with other magic peoples, mostly over magic theory. it never really escalates except in volume because turns out janes really easy to rile up when she's drunk?? jordan has to drag her away

everything jane knows about magic is almost entirely self taught. FG won't teach her but she can cajole info out of other faeries when she plays her cards right & jane totally knows where EVERY store in the city that sells magic shit is. every. single. one. she's a regular at all of them

really hates that when audrey left she was put in charge of cotillion planning?? she's an introvert whats she doing this for. its her own personal hell.

Queen of Odd Friendships. well not really Odd Friendships, its just that she gives off the air of someone without many (any) friends, so when it turns out she's low-key friends with half the fae community in Auradon City (and some in Cinderella's kingdom) its jarring. the girl ignored in Auradon Prep is on first name basis' with a five hundred year old gargoyle and a vampire? when did this happen everyone asks. fours years ago, jane answers with a straight face. janes telling the truth

top student (doesn't need to sleep). refuses to compete or even let people know that she's a high-achieving student because she knows her classmates will go nuts trying to figure how she's so good (she hasn't slept in months. she does homework to fill in the hours to dawn. you cant beat her)

doug knows this, doesn't even try to top her in class. its not "be the best in class" its "be the next person after jane to be best in class". he's dealing w it. other people aren't.

when she's grateful to people she kisses her fingertips and then presses them against the persons forehead. its super cute and always (ALWAYS) leaves the other person blushing to their ears because who expects that from her??

loves scary movies. watched silence of the lambs when she was like. nine. whenever she's rewatching it she laughs at the most inappropriate moments. laughed when the dinosaurs ate people in jurassic park

she speaks a bunch of languages with varying fluency including the native fae language (which she and her mother use solely whenever they're alone. keep that heritage up ladies). can read about a dozen more languages (magic books are old a lot of the time and you need to be able to read them properly otherwise you mess up)

is a good bit stronger than anyone knows. like. she could flick a person across a room if she's angry enough. can totally cave someones skull in if she's got enough adrenaline in her. doesn't like that about herself and tries to hide it. because faery

(but she and jay spar all the time when jaynelos are in the flirting stage/awkward trying to figure out emotions stage and have no-holds-barred fist fights. janes SUPER brutal when she fights even when she's holding back. one time she kicks jay in the head and he's all Heart Eyes™)

anyone who knows takes bets whenever/if-ever she gets attacked on just how trashed the other person is gonna be. anyone who doesn't is freaking out because jane looks like Jane. she's tiny. why are you so calm about someone trying to kill her. (get to her and the attacker is moaning in pain on the floor. not-knowers are ????)

brenna d'amico is a really good singer and so jane is too. one of the tie-in books says janes in the acapella group and is an alto. she can play guitar and piano. also did ballet when she was younger and hated it - was forced basically at knifepoint. you Don't want her to kick you.

she does pole-dancing now. less for the 'sexiness', more for the cardio. pole dancing is exhausting.

she and her mother have a deal: jane wears the light blue shit during school hours/days and at formal events. on weekends, jane gets to wear whatever she wants. leads to weird looks when people need to talk to her and she's dressed like someone else. she refuses to explain herself.

blushes whenever someone complements her because people don't complement her much. is even cuter when she does it. complementer is blushing too. she's cute. its a loop of blushes. (she deserves all the complements. come on guys. be nice to her)

sweaters and knitwear everywhere. all winter she can wear a sweater every day and never repeat and outfit (she makes them)

has tattoos. will never tell, and they're really little and she can hide them under her clothes, but she has them. she's got freckles on her back that have been joined into constellations and a couple runes on her skin for protection (she was visiting her dad in starlight valley and he held her hand when she got them done) she loves them.

also has blue freckles and pointed ears. if mal gets to have magic green eyes and purple hair then jane gets to have magic identifiers too. (she covers the freckles up w makeup tho, it weirds people out)

[ginaclyne]

I’m so stoked to be selected as one of the winners of WeddingWire’s Couples’ Choice Awards! Thank you, thank you!

The WeddingWire Couples’ Choice Awards® recognize the top 5% of local wedding professionals on WeddingWire who demonstrate excellence in quality, service, responsiveness, and professionalism. Winners are determined by 2016 reviews from over a million WeddingWire newlyweds.

Below are just a few of my favorite reviews (from WeddingWire & Yelp) by clients to date!

“I cannot say enough good things about Gina! She was absolutely amazing to work with. When I was researching photographers for our wedding I was immediately drawn to her style of photography — more casual, relaxed, and was always ready to catch moments as they happened. She was so kind and professional and SNEAKY! I loved all the candid shots she was able to capture of us and all of our wedding guests! Before we received our pictures from her, there were so many shots I was wishing she had captured. I thought she had missed some moments but I was SO wrong (I told you she was sneaky). She literally photographed everything big and small and going through all the photos really helps us relive the amazing day we had :)” — Leah & Matt (June 24, 2016 wedding)

“It is almost difficult to write a review because my mind is cluttered with a thousand wonderful things I want to say. I LOVE my wedding pictures. But I knew I would even before I saw them. Because the whole day of my wedding Gina was EVERYTHING i could have ever wished for in a wedding photographer. I so dreaded hiring someone for an insane cost only to have them dictate when and where and how I stand and desperately cling to the timeline. Then after searching for what seemed like forever, I found Gina. Gina is warm and approachable, but never invasive or unprofessional. Her photo-journalistic style was exactly what I wanted. Wonderful warm, candid moments that are a true testament to her talent and ability as a photographer. She captured every weird tradition and curveball with absolute grace and enthusiasm. The portfolio of our wedding pictures, everything from the detail shots, to the family portraits to the candid expressions of all the people we love, build a perfect time capsule of everything our wedding day was. All the tiny little moments you want to capture from the day – holding hands under the table, throwing your head back laughing, the embroidered handkerchief you thought you forgot to ask her to photograph, the quiet moments you stole with your new spouse – she got them all, and in the sneakiest and least obtrusive way. Thank you Gina.” — Emilie & Erik (April 22, 2017 wedding)

“Gina’s talents span beyond her camera work, she is truly a master of her craft. Gina came with us as a ‘third wheel’ as we eloped at San Francisco City Hall. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Gina made us feel so comfortable, coached us through the camera shy moments, and was able to photograph something truly magical.

The pictures we have from the day perfectly capture the moments we shared. From candid shots walking and laughing together, to the most sincere posed pictures, and all the documentation in between… I feel as if I could relive the moment through the story she captured.

Gina is truly the kindest and most professional photographer I have experienced. I am pretty camera shy, or rather… I tend to make the worst faces when a lens is pointed at me. Somehow Gina made me feel like the camera disappeared and all the pictures came out so natural. I don’t know how she does it, but the pictures we have prove that anyone can look good with the right coaching and photographer.” — Lauren & Jason (June 29, 2017 elopement)

“We loved working with Gina for our courthouse wedding! We interviewed a few photographers, but we picked Gina because she seemed most like someone we would already be friends with. She has a very kind and calming presence, which came in handy because the courthouse was a madhouse that day (we’ll be sharing our anniversary with a LOT of couples!). It was super crowded and crazy, which led to our timeline running longer than expected, but Gina took it all in stride, and our photos turned out great. Gina did a wonderful job capturing the story of our wedding, including many lovely candid shots of us and our families. She has a great eye for composition and small moments, and she is as adept at capturing humor as emotion. On top of that, she is as organized as she is chill (a rare combination), and very responsive with all communication, even after the wedding. Highly recommended!” — Michelle & Joel (February 25, 2017 courthouse wedding)

“Gina is AMAZING. From the moment we found Gina’s website, we were pretty sure we’d stumbled upon someone fantastic. And when we had our first introductory meeting with her, we knew we had.

We threw an untraditional wedding: a Prom at a local high school. Some of the vendors we spoke with seemed a bit confused why someone would want to do something like that. Others seemed baffled by the seemingly circular logic of the idea: “Don’t most proms these days try to imitate weddings?” But from the moment we told her, Gina *got* it. Truly. And even more importantly, got us.

She came prepared, having done lots of research beforehand on prom imagery — both in the literal, Google image search sense, and in the fantasy prom sense of Sweet Valley High covers and John Hughes movies.

She showed up hours beforehand to scout the school and figure out the best places to inspire both of those ideas. And she worked with us in advance on timelines and family groupings so we were sure not to miss anyone or anything.

But most importantly, she brought a positive energy with her the entire night, that radiated from behind the camera to whoever was in front of it.

I cannot say enough amazing things about her — her eye, her creativity, her preparedness and professionalism, and just her as a person. We feel so lucky to have found her, and are excited to glowingly recommend her to anyone who will listen.” — Christy & Stuart (August 6, 2016 wedding)

“We found Gina through A Practical Wedding as a recommendation for an affordable photographer.  It was true — her rates were potentially half of other photographers we spoke to.  But cheating out wasnít our only objective — knowing that we weren’t going to have a videographer, it was very important we found a photographer who was going to truly document the entire day top to bottom and that is exactly what Gina and her assistant did.

We first met Gina at a coffee shop to talk about our thoughts for our wedding. At this point we had met with 5 other photographers at the same coffee shop, and were getting a little exhausted. Everyone had beautiful photos to share, and some of them even shot our venue and knew the best angles, but it was really important that the person who was going to follow us around like a stalker on the most important day of our lives be someone we wanted to hang out with. Gina was 100% that girl. She’s an artist and a journalist and an all around super rad chick. Over an hour of coffee we fell in love and the deal was done.

The engagement session was super fun. We had some loose ideas of where to go — strolling around our neighborhood, checking in at a favorite bar, going to a nearby park. She was up for it all. She didn’t put us in weird forehead to forehead poses. She didn’t ask us to look lovingly into each other’s eyes. She just hung out with us for an afternoon and took THE MOST AWESOME PICTURES EVER.

We got digital prints within a few weeks and the option for a few prints. They were edited & colored to perfection in a natural and respectful way. We chose one super big print of our favorite shot to display at the wedding. Gina ordered and when she got it back, said at that size, it didn’t look the best. She then printed a bunch of other options and brought them to our wedding. You could probably hear my bridesmaids ‘aww’ from a mile away.

The day went exactly like we wanted it to. She had a shot list of some family and bridal party photos, but our main focus was to be on candids and they were all over it like respectful paparazzi. They even came to our after-party with us and continued shooting. It was so fun to have them there and I’m so happy we get to have all of those memories documented in photos too.” — Lisa & Bryan (November 6, 2016 wedding)

“Gina was *the* perfect photographer to capture our wedding! It was a once in a lifetime kind of experience — we were in Goa India, with friends and family coming from all over the world for our 3 day love-fest and Gina captured every bit of the magic. She is curious and observant, which made her take pictures of details and moments that others would have skipped. And those were the best ones! We received so so many compliments about the pictures. In addition to producing a stunning final product, she was so accommodating and easy to work with. In India, things can start 1 (or 2 or 3!) hours late, which happened frequently throughout our events. Gina took it in stride, and was so understanding. I really can’t recommend her enough!!!” — Nikki & Rohit (December 15, 2015 wedding)

*WINNER*: 2017 WeddingWire Couples’ Choice Awards! I'm so stoked to be selected as one of the winners of WeddingWire's Couples' Choice Awards! Thank you, thank you!

[iamthechocobabe]

We All Have Battle Scars

A PromptoXOC Soulmate AU based on We Intertwined

We All Have Battle Scars ~Chapter 13~ SFW Word Count: 2,181

Wiz and Alaea stood there in absolute shock, not sure how to react to the news that was brought. Alaea had assumed her mom had gone off to Altissia years ago and had made peace with the fact that she would never see her again. Now, it not only turned out she was within the region all this time, but that she and her father were nothing more than an some gil and a place to hide when the law was looking for her. That was...Alaea felt low. Lower than low-what was lower than dirt? 

"Ali..." Wiz tried to reach out and comfort Alaea only to have his hand shaken away and have a set of very angry brown eyes glare at Wiz. 

"So, any other family members I should know about? Do I have a grandmother assassin somewhere? Does it turn out my grandfather is the leader of the Impirial Army?" 

Alaea ignored the guilt she felt when she saw Wiz's red eyes and also ignored the fact that this was just as hard for Wiz as it was for her. Clenching his teeth to stop himself from crying, Wiz tried to explain. "Your Aunt Gina was the only other family member I knew about because she was at our wedding. What Aunt Gina didn't tell you was that there was a bounty on her head as well-I don't know if that's changed or not, but I figured that it was better for you not to know about your Aunt Gina, the con artist," 

Alaea tried to stop the tears in her eyes and couldn't, so she rubbed her eyes furiously to try and make them go away. "It's my family-she's my aunt. Maybe if you had told me earlier, I would have been able to find mom years ago! What right do you have to keep me away from my family?"

"I was trying to protect you, Alaea! You don't know your mom like I do, you haven't seen her since you were four!" 

"And whose fault is that?" Alaea looked at the paper in her hand, one of her tears falling and messing up a number two in the string of numbers. Shaking her head, she pocketed the slip of paper, determination in her eyes. "I'm going to go find her...I...I have to know,"  

"What do you have to know? What are you talking about?" 

"She took me with her that night for a reason, dad! I have to know...I have to know if...if..." The words wouldn't leave Alaea's mouth and it made her swallow down the lump that she felt in her throat. 

"I don't know why your mom took you with her that night, Chocobee. All I know is that the last few weeks before your mom left, she was not the same woman I married," 

"I know it was bad! I remember her being the world's biggest bitch!" 

"It's not just that-" Wiz tried to say, but Alaea wasn't having any of it. 

"How else was she acting? Give me an example," 

"Goddammit, Ali, I'm not going to do that to you! I was the one who stayed, I was the one who didn't pack up and abandon you for some money. Don't I deserve a little bit of your trust?" 

"I-I don't know," Alaea shook her head to clear her thoughts, but it wasn't working. She was still as confused, as angry and as bitter as ever. "I don't know! I don't know what to think anymore, but I have to know, okay? I have to!" 

"Oh, no you don't," Wiz blocked Alaea as she tried to leave out the front door and folded his arms. "I forbid you from doing this!"

"'Forbid me'?" Alaea scoffed. "I think I'm a little old for that," 

"I'm just trying to do what's best for you! Can you just believe me on this?" 

"I do believe you, dad. But I've never been that weak little girl you wanted to believe I was. I can take care of myself and I'll face the consequences of what happens after this," Alaea finally shoved her dad out of the way and he let her go, now seeing that arguing with her was pointless. She had her mother's determination, after all. 

"You're not going to like what you hear, Alaea!" Wiz tried to call out to her, but she was already gone.

Prompto sat outside the caravan as usual, though this time he was occasionally standing and pacing back and forth. He had considered a few times going and knocking on Wiz's front door, but he decided against it, even after the blonde woman, Alaea's aunt, left the Outpost. Now, Prompto sat outside with Ignis and Noctis while Gladio ignored all the female workers at the Outpost who surrounded him as he did push-ups in the driveway. 

"So, how's it going with you two?" Noctis asked to pass the time. 

Prompto touched the back of his neck and traced the soulmate mark with his fingers like he often did. "I think it's going well...she seems to be more comfortable around me. But I still don't think she believes the soulmate mark legend...thing," 

"Do you think it's real?" Ignis asked. 

Prompto stopped tracing the mark and sat thinking for a moment. Did he believe the soulmate mark legend, that people with soulmate marks were destined to be together? Or was it just some crazy coincidence? Everyone had told him it was real, but did he believe it for himself and not just because other people told him it was real? "I like to think it is," 

Noctis nodded. "I mean, people having individual and different marks and there's another person who just so happens to have the same mark, just mirrored? I guess it is too big of a coincidence," 

"I don't think Alaea doubts the mark itself," Prompto said. "I think she just doesn't believe that soulmates are really meant to be together and fall in love," 

"It sounds to me like it's more of a lack of faith in love than in a legend," Ignis observed. 

Prompto picked up his camera to occupy himself, still continuing the conversation as he got up to take pictures of some passing Chocobo’s being led to the racing track by workers. "After being shit on all of her life by a bunch of people because of a stupid scar, I think it's more of a loss of faith in humanity," 

Prompto snapped a decent shot of a Chocobo nipping at the worker. He looked at the photo to study it, but he found his mind wandering back to Alaea. He felt such a strong and emotional connection to her after only knowing her for a few weeks...what if she decided she didn't want anything to do with him?

"I need you to take me to Old Lastallum," 

Alaea pulled Prompto out of his thoughts as she stood in front of the three, her typical determination set in her face. Her eyes were red and Prompto saw tear strains on her cheeks, but he was too busy focused on what she said to make any remark. 

"Uh, we don't have a car, Ali," Prompto reminded Alaea about the lack of the Regalia, which there was still no word of. 

"We'll rent Chocobo’s, but I think it's a days ride by Chocobo and I don't think it's safe to go by myself. Will you go with me?" 

Prompto looked at Noctis for an answer. Noctis' answer was a shrug. "I don't care-we've got nothing else to do until we figure out where the Regalia is, anyway," 

"Did you require all of our assistance?" Ignis asked calmly. 

Alaea shook her head. "I don't care-you can all tag along or you can all stay here. But I'm going with or without you, but I'd feel safer if someone would go with me," 

Gladio, who had come up to the caravan to get some water, leaned against one of the chairs. "Can we ask what this is about?" 

Alaea stopped for a second; she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out, so she closed it. After about 30 seconds of silence, she swallowed, forcing herself to talk. "I...I can't tell you. All I can say is that it's important to me. I understand if you don't want to go, but just know that if you do, it would mean the world to me," 

Prompto obviously needed no convincing. "Well, I'm in," 

Alaea smiled at him with gratitude and looked at the other three.

"Got nothing better to do," Noctis mumbled. 

Gladio smirked a bit and Prompto didn't need to be a mind reader to tell he loved the idea of camping while riding the Chocobo’s to Old Lastallum. "Traveling by Chocobo sounds fun," 

"I don't see why not," Ignis said. 

Prompto's heart hurt when he saw Alaea's eyes fill with tears, but she wiped them away before Prompto could hug her and smiled at the four people she felt comfortable around enough to now call her friends. 

"Thank you,"

Alaea felt super relieved that she had washed her work clothes the previous night; the last thing she wanted was to meet her mom in dirty work clothes, but didn't want to wear her casual sweater and jeans when they were going to be camping in the woods as they traveled towards the coordinates near Old Lastallum. 

After some quick necessities, they were on the road with their Chocobo’s in tow. Chocobo’s could actually be pretty fast, so it wouldn't be super long to get to Old Lastallum and they all traveled along the road with music from Noctis' mp3 player to pass the time, occasionally having to get off to confront a group of daemon's by the side of the road. Alaea couldn't help but notice that during the trip, Prompto was extremely calm and quiet, but Alaea convinced herself that she would deal with her mom first and then figure out what was going on with Prompto. 

As soon as it began to get to get dark, Ignis recommended they stop for camp and predicted that they would reach Old Lastallum by the early afternoon of the next day. While she did the best she could to help out, Alaea was mostly brushed aside as the camp set up was pretty routine with the four. 

It wasn't long before darkness fully set in the night and Ignis prepared the only meal Prompto had thought to bring: Cup Noodles. 

Alaea was too kind-hearted to tell them that she hated Cup Noodles. 

Alaea nibbled in silence as Gladio, Prompto and Ignis debated whether Cup Noodles was actually healthy for you or not (spoilers-it's not) while Noctis played on his phone. Prompto had turned in his seat to face and argue better with Ignis, so Alaea could clearly see the soulmate mark from this angle whenever Prompto scratched the back of his hair or neck. 

Noticing her staring, Noctis smiled softly while the other three continued to bicker. "You know, he's been touching that mark on the back of his neck for as long as I've known him. It was kind of creepy," 

Alaea didn't respond, she just continued to stare, deep in thought about the soulmate mark and what it meant. Her parents had been soulmates...were soulmates really meant to fall in love or was it just a false hope? "Do you believe it?" 

Noctis focused on Alaea. "Believe what?" 

"The soulmate mark-do you believe that people with the soulmate marks are really destined to fall in love with each other?" 

Noctis paused at that and looked down on his phone in concentration. "I don't know...Luna and I were never soulmates, but I didn't mind when I found out I was supposed marry her. She's a good friend, after all," 

"But..." Alaea chewed on the inside of her cheek, worried she was going too far, but deciding to ask anyway. "But do you love her?" 

Noctis didn't act offended. In fact, he put his head back like he wasn't a stranger to the thought before this and had wondered the same thing at night when he couldn't sleep. "Sure I do...but I mean, it's kind of like loving your sister or your mother. I'm willing to do what's right for the people, but if I had a choice, I don't think I would marry Luna. And Luna knows that because she feels the same way, but we both knew we have...or at least, had...a duty to fulfill,"

Noctis glanced at Alaea with a smug smile. "But if you're thinking about selling that to a journalist, I'll just deny it, so there's no point," 

Alaea rolled her eyes. "I'm not that shallow," 

Prompto laughed really loudly-apparently, he had said something to irritate Gladio, so Gladdy had tackled him to the ground and was now putting the poor kid in a headlock, while Ignis just sat there and drank his coffee. 

Noctis looked at the two and started chuckling. "I know you're not shallow-but neither is Prompto," 

Alaea smiled softly. She was still unsure of the answer to her question, but she started to wonder if it really mattered. Prompto made her happy, she could no longer deny it...was happiness really all that mattered, with or without a soulmate mark?

"Yeah, I know,"

[upslapmeal]

Opinion: Jane The Virgin it's losing it's charm. It let me down after episode 10 and I tried to keep watching but it's disappointing me so far. I just feel is not as funny and smart written as it was and it's just reusing storylines. And I'm still not used to the characters now after the 3-year jump, it feels so hurried.

Ok so I know the point of this ask game thing is just to say whether you agree or disagree but I have way too many thoughts about this to just leave it at that. So. In general I agree, at least to a point. And I’ve literally written over 1000 words as a reply so I’m putting it under a readmore bc….whoops…….

Right to start off, I know something everyone used to complain about the crime plots but that was something I really thought was missing at the start of S3. Those plots were usually good at providing drama that really contrasted with Jane’s life and I’d been looking forward to Michael finally going back to work so we’d get them back. Which obviously didn’t happen, and I know we have Dennis and they’re still part of the plot but it’s different from having one of the main characters directly involved. 

Something else that definitely hasn’t helped but isn’t necessarily the show’s fault is that we’ve lost side characters because the actors have become involved in other shows - specifically Luisa, Lina and Rose. This limits the interactions we can see, and means that when they’re on the show they don’t get any meaningful longer storylines because they won’t be around for long. This has been a specific problem for Luisa who seems to appear for an episode or two then get sent off to rehab. Rose was a great villain and that’s something else the show’s been lacking, especially since Mutter’s dead though she was never as compelling as Rose. 

I remember back in S1 wondering how long the show would last because it seemed unlikely that they would be able to keep generating such elevated plots and ridiculous twists, and I think that’s just part of the nature of the show unfortunately. In that during S1 (and S2 though less so) all the ~telenovela aspects were new and fresh, but they used up a whole bunch of tropes and plotlines, and also we’ve just got more used to it and better at predicting what will happen. That’s not to say repeated elements don’t always work - the Anezka twist at the end of ch39 completely caught me off guard despite the Roman/Aaron plot in S1. I had thought that Rafael finding out he wasn’t a Solano would be an opening for more telenovela plots, possibly involving the art theft and Italian orphanage, but instead it fed the more grounded emotional plots in that it made Raf want to turn over a new leaf. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and that’s not to say it won’t lead to those plots in the future, but considering that the show seems to be lagging a bit in its telenovela side it does feel like a bit of a missed opportunity. 

Which brings us to ch54, Michael’s death, and the time jump. Considering what I’ve said about plots running out it made sense that they needed to shake things up, and Jennie said Michael’s death was the mid-show equivalent to Jane’s insemination in that it was an event that completely turned Jane’s life upside down and changed what she’s imagined her future to be. And it certainly did that but I do think it also did several things that hurt the story. Firstly, it just added to the problem I talked about with the show losing characters and so losing different interactions and relationships to explore. Brett said after the end of S2 that he’d love Michael to have more scenes with Alba and see what the relationship is there, and personally that was a relationship it really hoped we’d get to see, especially after those vows. Losing characters hits harder when they’re part of the main cast. Then we also lost our main connection to the police side of all the telenovela crime drama. And as well as losing a telenovela aspect we also lost many more grounded potential storylines. What’s Michael’s role in bringing Mateo up as he gets older? How do they deal with the difference between Mateo, who’s constantly moving between parents, and JM’s potential future child(ren) who would live with them all the time? Would we get to see Rogelio take Michael, Rafael and Mateo out on an over-the-top Father’s Day bonding adventure? Idk, it just feels like there were so many more potential storylines to mine from that family.

Then there’s the issue of trying to use the death in the same way as the insemination. The problem comes from the fact that they gave the show very different things. The whole show sprung up from Jane’s insemination. The show would not exist without it and the whole show since then has been dealing with the consequences of this event. We got to see the very real and emotional effects, the difficulties it caused and how hard it could be, really letting Gina flex her acting muscles, but it was also a ridiculous telenovela event that could be used as a source of humour and ultimately ended up being one of the best things to happen to Jane. And the problem with using Michael’s death to similarly shake up her life is it only provides the first half of that, the difficult, emotional side. It’s not something that can be joked about or used for fun drama.

And so then we have the time jump. I absolutely understand why they decided to have the jump, if the show had gone straight into the period after his death it would have been too dark for the show, and the jump lets us see the long-term effects. Unfortunately though, they literally killed their protagonist’s husband after they were married for 7 months. They created a situation where the consequences are dark and difficult and heartbreaking. And so while I appreciate that we’re seeing Jane still affected by it after three years, we need to see more of this difficult stuff that the show made for itself. I’ve already rambled a lot about this here so I won’t get into that again but if the show’s going to use this death supposedly to be a mid-show insemination equivalent, it mustn’t shy away from the situation it’s made for itself. And I’m not saying the show isn’t showing Jane’s grief but I don’t think it’s changed enough or doing it in a way that justifies killing him in the first place.

In fact the biggest change to the show that’s come from Michael’s death is the time jump. And honestly, outside Jane’s story I do think it’s done the show good. It’s refreshed a lot of storylines and from a practical pov has made sure they have good kid actors instead of just hoping that Aiden (who played young Mateo) turned out to be a good actor. And you know what? I think the time jump would have been a great thing to happen to show without Michael dying. Because then you haven’t lost one of the pieces in the game, just rearranged them. Rather than carrying the weight of showing Jane moving out of deep grief, the flashbacks would help fill in the gaps better for more characters. Everyone would be in a new place and there wouldn’t be the weird rushed disconnect there is now where the show has gone from an incredibly traumatic event back to near-normality in the space of less than an episode. 

I know this all sounds really negative. I do appreciate how the show has decided to tell a story of coming back after having dealt with terrible grief and I don’t want to fully judge how good a job it’s done until the end of the season, and even without quite the same spark as the start it’s a fantastic show. I’ve tried to be as objective as possible with this and look at the show without thinking about personal opinions of characters etc (though I am incredibly bitter and sad about Michael’s death for non-storytelling reasons), and I think that the heightened and balanced nature of the show at the start has made a bit of a fall inevitable. But it’s done a damn good job of trying to keep as close to that place as possible, even if that has included missteps or repeated storylines. I’ve still loved every episode so far, not all as much as each other, but there is yet to be an episode I dislike. And so yes, it has lost a bit of its charm and it’s made decisions I’m disappointed in, but as a whole I still think it’s a clever and important show that I love. And long may that last.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Jane the Virgin 5x01 “Chapter Eighty-Two” Review

The Season 4 finale of Jane the Virgin ended on quite a cliffhanger: Michael, Jane’s ex-husband who died four years ago, was revealed to actually be alive. (My not-so-generous thoughts on this particular plot twist can be read here.)

Over the lengthy, nearly year-long hiatus since the Season 4 finale aired, questions and theories about Michael’s return abounded: how could he possibly be alive? What would his return mean for Jane and Rafael’s relationship? Was it even really Michael?

For me, my interest in watching the show’s final season hinged on how it answered these questions. (To be honest, I have absolutely no interest in watching Jane leave Rafael again to be with Michael, whom I was never fond of in the first place.)

Within minutes, most of fan’s questions had been addressed, for the most part satisfactorily:

Yes, Michael is indeed Michael (Rafael had a DNA test done before telling Jane about him, just to be sure), except he goes by Jason now (after Jason Bourne), he has a dog and also amnesia, and he remembers nothing about Jane or their past life together.

It turns out Rose orchestrated his entire death, from giving him drugs that would slow down his heart to the point of it having appeared to stop, to having him carted out of the examination hall by EMTs who were under her command. (I’m still a little skeptical of this explanation, but I’ll let it slide for now. Also — are you telling me at no point Jane would have asked or been able to see Michael’s body?) She then induced his amnesia by giving him electroshock therapy centred on the hippocampus and temporal lobe and dropped him off in Montana, where he’s spent the last four years.

Okay, so Michael was essentially tortured into forgetting everything about his life. Even I, a staunch Michael non-supporter, feel bad for him.

One thing that’s not clear yet: what was Rose’s motivation behind doing this? The one person who can possibly help answer that question is Luisa; she and Rafael are in contact again after he gave up her location to Rose in order to learn where Michael was, and she seems determined to help her brother find out what Rose’s game is, even though Raf is unwilling to ask that of her.

And how’s Jane doing after finding out that her dead ex-husband is no longer dead and is also possibly no longer her ex-husband? She’s doing fine! (The episode features a 7-minute long monologue by Jane — which Gina Rodriguez absolutely kills — where she works through her emotions in a way that strongly reminded me of the Friends episode “The One Where Ross is Fine.”)

Honestly though, Jane is doing pretty well. Sure, she passes out upon first seeing Michael, but after that she handles everything like a champ, from the realization that she might be married again, to attending Michael’s neurologist appointment along with his mother, to taking Michael to places they used to visit all the time in an effort to spark his memory. What’s less painful than reliving a bunch of memories with a man you once loved but who no longer recognizes you, and whom you no longer recognize in return?

Because not only is Michael amnesiatic, he’s also no longer the Michael we spent two and a half seasons getting to know. Once an avid cat lover, he’s now a dog person who doesn’t like cats at all; he speaks in a slow drawl and calls Jane “ma’am” (he’s older than her!); he hates cubanos; he’s attracted to Petra; and the light-hearted, kind, funny aspects of Michael that Jane — and everyone — loved seem to have been stripped away completely.

Listen, I’ve stated before, and I’ll state again, and I’ll probably state many times throughout this season: I’ve never been a fan of Michael. But man, this episode, with its sparing use of flashbacks and video, made me miss him. And if that’s how I felt, I can only imagine how it made fans of Michael feel. Including his in-world fans: obviously Jane is a mess, and Rogelio, who considered Michael his best friend, is absolutely heartbroken when Michael doesn’t remember him. Alba and Xo, who considered Michael part of their family, and of course Mateo who once saw him as a father figure, now hardly remembers him, and hasn’t yet been told that he’s alive.

Then Rafael, whose own world has been rocked but mostly stands as a supportive background figure in this episode, giving Jane the room she needs, deciding to put off the move until things settle down, looking after all three of his children, and being a shoulder for Rogelio to cry on. As proud as I was of Rafael in this episode (he has grown so much since the show’s early seasons) I was also worried: we all know Rafael tends to withdraw inside himself when he’s overwhelmed, and those bottled-up feelings usually burst out of him in a negative way.

Maybe I was worried for no reason though, because Rafael does allow himself to break down in front of Xo, admitting to her how scared he is at the possibility of losing Jane. As Jane brings up several times during the episode — so does Rogelio, upon finding the ring — Rafael and Jane were supposed to get engaged, they were in the process of moving in together, and now their whole life has been put on hold.

What does the future hold for this couple? The episode ends on a positive note for them, as Jane shows up at Rafael’s new workplace (wearing a yellow dress and paralleling the pilot, when she visited Michael at work to propose to him) to tell him that she loves him and that she’s still planning on moving in with him. They kiss, but the narrator makes it clear that perhaps things won’t go for them as planned.

Not that I would expect them to, this being the first episode of the season for a telenovela, but I’m not too thrilled at the prospect of more relationship drama just when things were starting to calm down. Remember, in Season 1, Jane ends up leaving Michael for Rafael not too long after they got engaged, so if the parallel continues there’s a good chance we can expect the inverse to happen here.

But take heart, #Jafael fans: remember also that Jane ultimately chose Michael over Rafael. I still believe that in this second iteration, she’ll eventually choose Rafael over Michael.

There was another big question left unanswered in the Season 4 finale, although to be honest I completely forgot about it until this episode aired: JR shot somebody in order to save Petra’s life. Who?

Remember Milos? Petra’s acid-throwing, stalking, arms-dealing ex-husband? He’s back!

For a short time, at least.

Milos’ motivation in trying to frame Petra was apparently nothing more than to put her in jail, in return for her putting him in jail. And he never wanted to kill her just...maim her, I guess.

After being shot in the arm by JR, Milos attempts to strike a bargain with Petra in order to stop her from calling the police; he once again has majority ownership of the hotel (after being behind the charity that Luisa donated her shares to) and he will give them back to her, if only she lets him go.

Petra hesitates, which is the last straw for JR, who’s still angry at Petra for lying to her about murdering her sister (man, there are some sentences I type out that make me realize just how bonkers this show is). Even though Petra insists that she wasn’t really considering Milos offer, she was just caught off guard, JR doesn’t believe her — and while they’re arguing, Milos disappears.

Eventually, Milos is found by Petra, hiding inside a giant teddy bear in Anna and Elsa’s room. The wound in his arm is now infected and he once again attempts to bargain with Petra: he’ll give her his shares to the hotel, if she gets him some antibiotics.

Will Petra be tempted to make the deal, now that JR isn’t there to stop her? Or has she truly changed?

The audience — and Milos — is led to believe that it’s the former, as Petra even makes Milos write out his promise by hand (a bloodstained note that the Narrator is uncertain would hold up in court). But it turns out that Petra was only playing for time while she was waiting for the police to turn up; they quickly arrest Milos and lead him away.

(As an aside, Petra’s line to Milos of “By the way, I’m bisexual. It’s you” was such a power move. I was so scared they were going to let Milos’ offhand and derisive lesbian comment from earlier stand.)

Petra has changed for the better, and as she promises JR she’ll continue to change — but, for now at least, JR is unwilling to wait for that to happen. Just as Petra can’t forget the things in her past that forced her to become who she is today, JR can’t forget the things Petra did that caused them to break up in the first place. So for now, the two go their separate ways, but I have hope for them reuniting at some point in the future.

What about Milos? Is his role in this story truly done? I wouldn’t be so sure; it seems that almost no character on this show disappears forever.

Even ones that have been dead and buried for four years.

Jane the Virgin airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

Sam’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝.5

[mak23686]

Opinions about / views on The 100

Noone cares about what I post anyway, so that gives me the freedom to post whatever the hell I want.

If you feel the need to react to this post, feel free to do so. You can always point out flaws in my logic and give your own view.

If you just want to go “lol ur dump all heel bellmu bleik and pik petrun sehnts of ski krew and strehgt bois“, just don’t. Jacking off to Lexa’s death scene again is a more reasonable use of the calories you burn with that.

SEASON 1

Spearing Jasper was understandable. He cheered when they reached Mount Wheather. Combined with the superior technology (coming from the sky and the gun), it gave reason for the assumption that the 100 wanted to ally with the Mountain.

Was it over the top? Could the Grounders just have stepped out and confronted them? Sure, they could have. But I suppose decades of being at war with the Mountain Men gave them a “better save than sorry“ attitude in dealing with anyone possibly involved with the mountain.

(WARNING: ASSUMPTION FOLLOWING!) Also, based on the Grounder’s skill in stealth and use of weapons displayed in later episodes, they were rather lenient here. The kids didn’ bother being stealthy (since they didn’t know anyone was on the ground), so the Grounder scouts probably noticed and tracked them for a while before they reached the river to see what they were up to. They also probably could have killed the others, but they just attacked the one who crossed the river, and they didn’t use a bow or a throwing knife, they used a big ass spear for shock effect to send a clear “don’t cross this line” message.

Stringing Jasper up on the tree might have been a test of skill for the sky people. Would they be able to find their comrade? Would they be able to discover the traps? How are they dealing with the injury? The Grounders had Lincoln as a watcher near the camp. Gathering intel is important when dealing with an unknown force.

Also, no Grounder killed a sky person in the first five episodes. Up to then, it was two accidents (dropship landing), two acid fog deaths (Trina and Pascal), one mercy kill (Atom), one murder (Wells) and one suicide (Charlotte).

The first kills in the Grounder-Skaikru conflict were when the flares burnt down the grounder village (this can technically be blamed on Bellamy because he sabotaged every way to communicate with the Ark since the beginning and made the flares necessary, but whatever). Granted, it was an accident, but still, as Anya pointed out in the bridge meeting, it can be seen as an act of war.

Torturing Lincoln and the sky people firing the first shots at the bridge meeting certainly didn`t help either. And while at least a momentary truce may have been achievable, Anya had a point: Why agree to an alliance the Sky People could break as soon as they come down, especially since the kids have shown so much aggression up to now?

SEASON TWO

Absolute high time of the show. Great story with the Mountain Men as villains and Sky People and Grounders allying, hints of deeper Grounder culture (”My spirit will find the next Commander”) exploration of the value of “Good guys / Bad guys” in war. Bellamy was also at his high, courageous (the infiltration of Mount Wheather was his idea), smart (infiltration missions can’t be pulled off by a dumdum), at Clarke’s side during the irradiation ... honestly, I wouln’t have minded season two Bellamy and Clarke being together.

I don’t blame Kane for shocklashing Abby because it was a purely political move. She had broken the law (again) by freeing and arming prisoners. It wouldn’t have looked good to the general populace if one of the “elites“ had gone completely unpunished again. Maybe it was unnecessary to have them bang later, but well ... I’m neutral / slightly against when it comes to that ship.

Lexa haters sometimes say Lexa wouldn’t have needed to kill Finn. Seriously? Finn murdered 18 people, the call for his execution was literally the least morally questionable thing ever done on this show. When she first said it and they cut away all dramatically, I just thought “Yeah, reasonable request. Have him on a silver platter with a bow.”

The reaper cure proved Skaikru could be of worth to the alliance, but that still didn’t give the people of TonDC justice. Ask a lawyer if you’re allowed to kill a bunch of people if someone of your family made a medical breakthrough, I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

Finn used to be a great guy in season one, but then, he went crazy. Accepting his punishment and delivering himself to the Grounders gives him the status of “Fallen / Redeemed hero” in my book.

The battle of Mount Wheather should be considered from the Mountain Men’s point of view before screaming “Lexa evil, betrayal!”

The Mountain Men were facing annihilation. Their only hope was to break the alliance between Skaiku and the Grounders. Best way to do it? Take the motivation to fight from one party.

The Grounder Prisoners were worthless to them now that they had Skaikru bone marrow, so they could easily be traded. But do you honestly think they just went out and said “Hey Grounder queen whose people we’ve been bleeding dry for decades, here are your people, goodbye?” and Lexa just waived “Jus drein jus daun” and walked away? I don’t think so.

THEORY: They probably went out with guns held to the prisoners’ heads, making it clear that refusal of the offer would result in the death of every single one of them. How would that have sat with the Grounder warriors? It was clear from before (Arrival in TonDC / Quint) that the alliance wasn’t really popular with the Grounders, and if Lexa had sacrificed hundreds of them for the sake of 40 Skaikru prisoners? I very much doubt she would have survived that. Someone else (probably Nia / Ontari) would have seized power, and if the Grounders fighting at Mount Wheather wouldn’t have turned on Skaikru and slaughtered every single one of them along with the Mountain Men right away, the new leader certainly wouldn’t have been as open to an alliance as Lexa was. The death of the Grounder prisoners would likely have led to all-out war against Skaikru they wouldn’t have survived. Sure, the betrayal hurt, it led to another major emotional scarring for Clarke and Lexa never assumed the Mountain would fall and Skaikru would prosper, but as things are, the alternative would probably have been much worse.

The fact that it was never shown or explained from the Grounders’ POV could be seen as a sign the writers never cared about the Grounders as valid people.

SEASON THREE

First few episodes were good. Nia could have made an interesting antagonist. As badass as Lexa killing her was, she could have been more.

Pike ... don’t get me started on him. I get that he distrusts the Grounders after his experiences in Azgeda, but more than that, he invalidates the experiences the others have made that peace is possible (three months since Mount Wheather without an attack), is ignorant of the clan-based conflict-ridden nature of the coalition and simply considers all grounders the same and ignores the fact that an act can have different meanings in different cultures (comparing the Coalition Brand to branding cattle).

Pike was right there in the same room when Lexa ordered the Protection Squad to Arkadia. He could have brought up his issues with Kane and Kane would have brought it up with Lexa and then, arrangements to calm Pike’s fears could have been made (examples: more guards on Arkadia’s walls, ordering Grounder soldiers to lay down their weapons as soon as Arkadia comes into view, allowing Arkadia guards to shoot any Grounder who doesn’t). I wouldn’t be surprised if Pike planned his takeover from the second he saw Indra.

Kane also didn’t do good there. He and Abby were too confident that Kane would be the next chancellor, not considering the option that someone else could enter the election at the last minute.

If his “this land is ours now“ speech and the reaction to Monty pointing out there was a Grounder village right on the land Pike wanted to claim didn’t make you consider him a genocidal colonist ... watch them again.

Considering his part in defending Farm Station off screen during season 2, he could be called a fallen hero. During his on-screen time, he was an asshole.

You can explain Bellamy joining Pike with his grief over Gina (yay, plot device character!), but he still stayed loyal to him for an awfully long time. Gives me the impression that he simply latches on to the person with the most authority until they REALLY screw up. Bellamy is a good soldier, loyally following orders, but definitely not a leader.

I could (VERY grudgingly) accept the fact of Lexa’s death, but the timing was outright cruel and the manner was incredibly stupid. “Accidentally“ shooting her and then draw out her death scene painfully long with a nice shot of her still face and Clarke closing her eyes I mean what sadist wrote that?

Miller and Bryan do NOT even out Lexa’s death in terms of LGBT representation. Lexa was the most powerful person in the world, a badass warrior and her decisions were relevant to the plot for pretty much all her time on the show. Miller and Bryan are low-ranking soldiers with no authority of any kind and mostly just standing around next to someone.

“My spirit will find the next commander.“ in season two sounded like kind of a mythical thing. They still could have done that, with the AI making a mental evaluation who is most fit, but nope, just a bunch of kids killing each other. Make the Grounders more barbaric so people have less problems with them getting killed.

By the way, it’s very interesting that according to this post, Rhiannon Fish (Ontari) refused to wear Lexa’s cape when they originally wanted her to because she felt “it was like Lexa’s superhero cape”. Seems like the woman who played the bitch intent on killing Lexa and destroying her legacy (by murdering all the nightbloods Lexa raised) actually respects her more than the creators did.

The whole AI story was weird.

Letting Octavia and Pike hold the same room during the attack on the tower was pretty dumb. Let the girl fight alongside the guy who murdered her lover, what COULD go wrong there?

VERY satisfying to watch Octavia run Pike through in the end.

SEASON FOUR

Meh. Some interesting bits, but mostly ... meh.

Bellamy and his company blowing up the hydro generator to free the farm station survivors was a failure at third grade math.

People in Arkadia who will die in Praimfaya with the hydro generator: -400

People in Arkadia who will die in Praimfaia if we blow it up to free the slaves: +25

LET’S BLOW THAT SHIT UP!!!

Really, who in their right mind thinks that’s a good idea?

At least Bellamy admits he’s a dummy (”You have to use your head.” - “I’ve got you for that.”)

Ilian blowing up Arkadia seems a little bit like it was done to make that blunder irrelevant. Can’t have Bellamy (who broke the tie on the vote) be held accountable for a major screwup.

Also, what’s up with Kane (major advocate for the alliance up to then) telling Bellamy he just did what he thought he had to?

Loved the scene when Bellamy’s Rover got stuck in the mud and Bellamy was unable to save Peter and his father, mainly because of his “People die when YOU’RE in charge.“ line in season three. Sounded as if he would just save everyone. Well, you can’t.

Clarke is acting kinda welcoming of death the entire season. I mean, she didn’t put herself on the list (if it wasn’t for Bellamy), injected herself with experimental nightblood, tried to take the flame without knowing for sure if it will actually be compatible, volunteered to give up her suit for someone else although her nightblood is untested and actually accepted her death (“My fight is over”) before setting up the com system in the finale. I wouldn’t call her suicidal, but she doesn’t seem to mind the possibiltiy of dying if it saves others.

Can agree with Clarke, it’s admirable what Bellamy does for his sister. Family first.

Pointing guns at each other / almost killing each other is not romantic though. Neither is delivering someone to a ruler who’s likely to imprison or execute them.

Jasper killing himself after it was cut from season three because it was “too dark“ (BS) kinda seems like backpedaling.

Bellamy’s definitely gonna bang Raven or Echo (or both) during their time up in space though.

Season Five

What Clarke and Madi’s life was like on the ground during the last few years is the only interesting thing I can think of so far. How did they meet? How did they bond? How did they help each other through their emotional scarring (and I imagine Madi has a lot of that as well since she probably saw all of her friends and family die of radiation sickness).

Still thinking about how to watch that.

Possibilities I have come up with so far are:

a) Just read the episode summaries on wikipedia / The 100 wiki.

b) Get super-drunk every few episodes and binge them.

c) Watch the episodes one at a time and take a shot of 75% rum (strongest stuff I have in the house) whenever something stupid happens.

Not sure if option b or c will get me more drunk.

Feel free to add stuff / point out flaws. Just do so without getting personal.