#it was simply allowing himself a good thing because he was t an angel anymore and he was allowed to feel

[shallowrambles]

Cas really did fall into the arms of the first person to show him kindness after The Great Fall.

It was the only time he let himself be soft and vulnerable and genuinely enjoy scraps of affection with a mirrored soft smile and: “More of this, I hope.”

He let go of his angelic asceticism and let himself feel.

It was so cruel.

I mean it must really fuck with his head … how basking in affection leads to death or punishment … in one way or another.

….

[nuagedemots]

Alone on Halloween - a Steddie ficlet

October 31th, 1971

Little Steve is sitting down on his front porch, his tiny fists closed, his eyes filled with tears. A few drops fall on his knees, his blue jeans absorbing the liquid without leaving a trace. Around him, kids his age are enjoying themselves, dressed as ghosts, vampires and others ghouls. Not him, though. His parents are way too busy to buy him a costume, let alone coming with him trick-or-treating. They left him alone, alone in this big house they brought with their big adult money, with a big pantry where no candies can be found, even on Halloween night. And even if his father has told him a million time he shouldn't cry, because crying is only for girls and pussies, he can't help it. He cries his stolen childhood, his innocence crushed by parents that had a kid because it was what good people were supposed to do. He cries, because it's the only thing he can do.

October 31th, 1981

Steve doesn't like Halloween. Never had, as long as he can remember. But of course, he's still invited to all the themed-parties the cool kids of Hawkins are organising to celebrate the night, and of course, he has to go to maintain his social status in school. He's King Steve, after all. People are expecting him to act a certain way, and if it's the only way for him to be accepted, he'll do it in a heartbeat.

The music is loud, people are laughing and dancing and making out on alcohol-stained couches. Girls are wearing angel wings and devil horns with lot of glitters and sequins, while most guys have made the bare minimum and put on their favorite sports jersey, proclaming they're dressed as famous athletes. Steve is near the bar, drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. Around him, there are teens he calls his friends and girls that visited his bed more than once, but he's alone. After all this time, after all the sacrifices he made to be the person he thought people will finally love, he's still alone. He's not crying about it anymore, though. He's simply drinking, drinking so much he can't feel pain and sadness and misery.

October 31th, 1984

He knew that sooner or later, Nancy would break up with him. Why would a girl like her, so smart, so beautiful, so perfect, fall for him ? He's destined to be alone, after all, his own parents rejected him - he's simply not good enough. He can't blame Nancy for calling their relationship "bullshit". It's better this way.

This night, when he finally come home and fall into bed, without even taking his clothes off, he has a nightmare. It's becoming quite ordinary, these days. Flashes of monstrous creatures and the kids he grew to love dying in his arms, flames, ashes, blood, despair. He wakes up in a cold sweat, as tired as he was the night before. Thank god, october is finally over.

October 31th, 1985

For the first time ever, Steve isn't miserable on Halloween night. Robin is at his house, they're watching an horror movie and eating sweets. Of course, Steve pretends he's not scared of Freddy Krueger and his claws, he flinched only because a fly was bothering him. He lets her paint his nails and he listen to her complain about her disastrous love life - but hey, can it be any other way in Hawkins, Indiana, for a lesbian teenager in 1985 ? He cannot stop smiling while she's rambling again and again about this girl she has a crush on but who's also desperately straight. And when the ring bells, when he sees Dustin and Will and all of the gang dressed as various pop-culture characters he doesn't seem to remember the names, shouting "trick or treat" before dashing inside without any permission, he feels like crying. Not out of sadness, like little Steve on his porch, but out of glee and gratitude. Maybe he can allow himself to be happy for a while.

October 31th, 1986

It's been 7 months since they saved the entire town from Vecna. The people of Hawkins don't know that, of course, still believing an earthquake hit and people had died from this terrible event, but they know, and maybe that's the most important thing after all. Eddie has been cleared of all his charges by Hopper, who has regain his place as sherif, and everything has returned the way it's supposed to be. Robin had asked Steve if he wanted to join her and Nancy for Halloween but he didn't want to be the third wheel - besides, the kids should come over after they're done collecting candies around town. Knock knock. Maybe it's them.

- Hey, Stevie, says the voice when he open the door.

And here he is, Eddie Munson in all his glory, long frizzy hair, big brown eyes, and devilish smile. He's wearing fake vampire teeth and -ohmygod black eyeliner. His right hand is on his hip, while his left is hanging on the doorframe, like he's been waiting on Steve for a while.

- I heard you were alone on Halloween, so, I decided to come grace you from my presence.

The "vampire" grins, and his fake canines escape from his mouth - he tries to put it back quickly, but it's still pretty ridiculous. Steve laugh, and the little frown Eddie began to wear fades. It's beautiful, when Steve laugh. They come inside, and the laughter continues. It fills the big empty home with sun and warmth. The boys talk all night, and sometimes, somewhere behind the wall of the Harringtons big house, they exchange a first kiss - more like a promise. The promise that Steve will never be alone at Halloween ever again.

[limitlessgojo]

Too Much to Handle

Type: One-Shot (Completed)

Warnings: NSFW !!! , Explicit Content

Tags: Orgasm Denial, Smut, Slight Angst, Hurt/ Comfort, Fluff, BDSM, Edging, Crying, Creampie, Pwp

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Noritoshi edges you every single night for 5 days. But edging you repeatedly, may not have been the best idea.

You currently have a very pleasant sex life with Noritoshi, your beloved boyfriend. Everything was in place. Trust, mood, and of course, safe words.

Adzuki (red beans) to stop. Matcha to slow down. Simple as that and usually nothing went wrong in the bedroom. You were on birth control pills, which made it so much easier for the both of you.

"Hey, how do you feel about orgasm denial?" Noritoshi asks you one night. You've been curious about it, knowing that you have good stamina and a solid track record of being patient.

"Sounds okay," You shrugged. You've done all sorts of things with him already in bed, and so far you've loved every single one. "Why not?"

Oh you were going to eat those words of yours.

You both agreed to edging you and only you for 4 days, while Noritoshi got to come over your body at the end of every session. He loves seeing you covered in him. Smelling like him.

You enjoyed it at first, loving it when he pumps his cum over your lips. Then you suck the head of his cock into your mouth, taking in as much cum as you can. His soft groans and praises make you light up.

He carefully thrusts two fingers into you, pumping in and out while he presses a vibrator against your clit. Removing them everytime you come near climax.

He was able to watch and experiment with your body a lot. Knowing exactly where your sweet spots are, and what makes you cum.

Noritoshi found it simply divine. Hearing you sob and moan his name so beautifully. Begging and promising to do anything in exchange to cum. Your hips lifting and following the vibrator everytime he moves his hands. Pink pussy watery and so wet, but unable to cum. Twitching and fluttering around nothing.

How your mouth waters as you stare at his long fingers.

He gives you consolation from time to time, letting you suck either his fingers or his dick. He also leaves sloppy wet kisses in your inner thigh and against the skin around your clit, making your hips push up.

You fall back against the bed after every session. His cuddles and kisses trying to cover up for the aching feeling down between your legs.

But on the night of the 4th day, you were at your limit. It was actually so frustrating to be edged, only to be stopped. It was difficult to fall asleep after.

You were miserable and horny, but incredibly excited for the next night.

Only for Noritoshi to suggest something else the next day, "Do you think you can try for one more night?" He asked.

You gulped, seeing him look not so secretly pleased. 'He looks like he's really enjoying this. I don't wanna disappoint him.'

"Don't worry, I'll let you come tonight. I just have some ideas in mind, but I wanted it to be a surprise." He smirked.

"Okay. I'll be good for you." You meekly answered. His smile was so warm and loving, you forgot about your needs for a bit, hugging him tight.

"Such a good girl for me darling. I love you."

"I love you too Toshi."

But you were at wits end later that night. Stark naked, with the addition of handcuffs and some ropes to hold you down. Your legs spread far apart, exposing your quivering cunt.

It's been 2 hours of edging. Scratch that, it's been 5 nights. You were close to breaking.

You sobbed for the millionth time that week as Noritoshi kissed your pussy and sat back to pause.

He pressed the vibrator against your clit, watching as your legs shook, only to remove it as you started trembling.

"You can't come yet." He said softly, yet firmly.

"Why not?" You gasped. "I've been so good for you."

Noritoshi's eyebrows raised. "Because I say so." Edging you multiple more times. He was so focused on your body that he failed to see tears streaming down against your temples.

"Toshiii," You were full on sobbing and shaking. "Please let me cum. Adzuki! Adzuki! I can't do this anymore! Adzuki!"

Static white noise.

Noritoshi heard his pulse thunder against his ears upon hearing you use your safe word. Never had you ever used it before. Not even when he tied you up and fucked you over 5 rounds that one night until you were a sobbing drooling mess.

"Nuh-no more!! No! Don't want!" You babbled and shook your head, trying to move away from him.

His heart broke to see you like this.

He dropped everything, undoing your ties and massaging your limp arms, pulling you close as you cried frustratedly into his chest, cuddling and frantically hushing you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You were apologising as you shook your head and pushed him away.

No. This was not how it was supposed to go.

"Baby I'm the one who's sorry. Shhhhh, Toshi is here. Okay, I'll stop, I'll make you cum. I promise." He rushed the words out in a hurry.

"I'm sorry," You kept repeating apologies, crying and shaking your head. You didn't seem to hear a word he was saying.

He pressed his lips tenderly into yours and breathed air into your mouth. "Follow my breaths." He commanded.

That tone. He used that voice you could never resist listening to and following. So you slowed down your breathing until you matched his pace. He rubbed slow circles onto your back.

"You're such a good girl. The best, my one and only angel," he softly cooed. You preened, feeling yourself slip further into a subspace. Your head felt so foggy.

"Why are you apologising?" He asked gently as he finally notices your tears and wipes it away.

Your lips started trembling, " buh-Because I cuh-couldn't do it anymore. I'm not *hic* good enough for yuh-you. I wuh-wanted to come but you…. said… hold off longer… can't-" you started breathing heavily again but he kissed you to distract you.

"No, no that's not your fault. That's mine for not taking care of you properly. I pushed you way past your limits. I'm sorry. You are more than enough for me, you know that. Can you forgive Toshi?" He nuzzled into the side of your face.

Deep inside, Noritoshi was actually losing it. Mentally slapping himself for letting you feel this way to the point you had to use a safe word. He never wanted you to feel this way with him.

"But I wuh-want t-to feel good together with you. I can handle maybe 3 days of no cumming, but 5 is too much," You hiccuped.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I know that now. Whatever you want, I'll do for you now. Okay?"

You looked up at him with the biggest eyes ever, his heart clenched. "Anything?"

"Anything. As long as it won't hurt the both of us, I'll do it for you." He promised.

For someone who was so desperate to come, he watched you become shy. But the words that came out weren't, "Make love to me. Cum inside me Toshi." You begged him.

"Okay, if that's what you want." He quickly set to removing his clothes and fixed the bed, making sure you were as comfortable as you could be.

"Like this. I wanna face you. Stay close." You whimpered, holding out two hands.

Missionary position. Noritoshi's and your personal favorite, because of how intimate it is. He pushes your legs far apart, revealing your aching hole.

You were still loose from the stretching he did earlier, but there was a slight burn as he entered you. You welcomed it wholeheartedly.

His cock was inside. His cock was inside of you. Finally!

You teared up again, wanting this for so long.

"Shhhh," he tried to calm you down as you cried some more.

"So happy, you're finally inside of me Toshi," You sniffed.

Distantly, Noritoshi thought he heard something like a tightly coiled string snap. You looked absolutely delectable right now. Pussy a bright red and your face a teary mess.

He was rock hard down there as he started out with deep and shallow thrusts.

"Yes, yes, more, give" You moaned, hooking your legs around his waist to prevent him from pulling all the way out.

"Anything for my angel." Noritoshi sucked on that tender part of skin under your ear.

You felt him glide in and out of you and it was such a relief against your vaginal walls.

You went on like that with him for a while, with Noritoshi stroking your cheek, making sure you felt good as he started to move faster.

But something felt off. "Toshi," You cried.

"What is it baby?" He looked over you in alarm.

"Can't cum. Don't know. Feels weird." Your body wasn't used to it anymore, the sensations feeling familiar but not exactly the same as before.

You felt absolutely horrible, your body was at that knife's edge of tipping into orgasm, but it wouldn't.

"Listen to me okay? Let it happen. Do you trust me? Do you trust your Toshi?"

You looked up into his eyes, and was surprised by their intensity. So dark. His hair, his eyes, his expression. His focus was 120% on you. On making you feel good.

You loved that about Noritoshi. He was incredibly sincere and pure hearted about everything he did. "Yes I trust you. I love you."

"I love you too Angel. Hold on tight." He let you grip onto his shoulders as he held onto your hips and started slamming his hips up and down, driving his cock so deep like it never did before.

He watched as you yelped at a certain angle, and changed his thrusts to hit that soft spot deep inside.

Your arms shot out to grab the sheets beside you as you keened, feeling intense pleasure while Noritoshi hits your G spot repeatedly.

"Please, please," You whined, tears falling past your cheeks, breaths uneven.

"There there now. Toshi is here. You're allowed to cum anytime. I will give it to you." He kissed away your tears and pressed close as he continued to pound into you.

Your breath hitched, feeling him poke against your tummy. "Toshii, I ugh-" you started to lose coherence as you felt a wild spark of heat down below.

"Let go." Noritoshi refused to come before you did, holding off his orgasm despite how your velvety wet insides molded and squeezed him perfectly.

He reached down with one hand to furiously rub your clit, lighting up all the nerves in your body. He used his cursed technique to move faster and faster, hips moving at an unearthly pace.

"Toshiiii-ahhhhn!" You screamed as your body violently convulsed, your pussy creaming around his cock and contracting madly as you finally came. It was the hardest and most intense one that you've ever experienced.

"That's it, my angel, come for me." He praised you as your screams increased in pitch and volume. He held you down as you thrashed about, not wanting you to slip off of him.

You tightened so much that it almost made him cum right away. Almost.

Noritoshi hooked his arms around your legs as he chased off his own orgasm. Skin slapping harshly against skin. He pushed in at a deeper angle.

"Yesyesyes," You moaned despite still reeling from your orgasm high. "Fuck me, fuck yes, more!"

Noritoshi was practically snarling as he continued pummeling into you, finally cumming and stuffing you full. "So tight! You've been so good for me, and look at you. You're perfect baby."

You trembled even harder upon feeling his dick throb and the cum slosh inside of you.

"Are you still coming? You're such a good girl, coming on my cock like this. So pretty." He grinded deeper and continued playing with your clit and nipples, making you twitch as you rode out your second orgasm gently.

You made sounds of choking and gasping which made him slow down. "Is that too much for you? It's okay baby. It's okay."

You tried to reply, but all that came out was a string of incoherent sounds, like a baby's babbling. Noritoshi smiled.

He made you cum 4 more times and stuffed you well past your capacity, feeling his seed seep out of your cunny and run down your ass. Pressing you down against the mattress as he rutted into you as he continued spurting loads inside of you.

You refused to let him pull out even when he grew soft.

"Stay."

And so Noritoshi did, because he promised you anything you wanted.

You sniffed quietly, but he heard it of course. "Baby" He cooed as he held you closer, but you refused to look into his eyes.

"Don't tell me you're still mad?"

You pouted, but shook your head. "I agreed to it. I wanted to be so good for you-"

"You are," he cut you. "You are so good. 5 days as opposed to the original 4 nights. I really was supposed to make you come tonight. And you did so well to make it this far, but I won't push you to do something like this anymore. It's my fault for extending it."

You shut your eyes. "I thought you would be disappointed if I told you I couldn't do it. You looked so excited to try out so much stuff in the bedroom." You bit your lip hard, but he reached out to stop you from doing that.

You sucked on his fingers while he pressed his lips against your forehead. "I won't be disappointed if you tell me no. I need to know the extent of your boundaries, so we can work out what's best for the both of us. Don't think I'd leave you for someone else who could last a week without cumming just because. That's not how I feel. I want to experiment with you and you only. You understand?"

You finally looked up at him and you were shocked to see how worried he was. Eyebrows all scrunched up. A big frown on his face. You kissed him, "I understand."

He pressed in closer. "Good girl. Such a good girl for Toshi. I'm so proud of you."

You let out a sob at that. And he patted your back as you cried off whatever heaviness you had left inside of your chest, emotional baggage now a lot lighter.

"You're right. I was scared you'd leave for someone who could handle you better in bed." You whispered after you finally calmed down.

"Mmm, not gonna happen. Ever. You're stuck with me. Forever."

"Forever sounds nice Toshi."

Author's Notes: When I say that I'm so down bad for Noritoshi, I legit am on Noritoshi brain rot. And me being stuck at home with a lockdown is definitely fueling this XD. I'm supposed to be working on Blood Bound, but I couldn't help but write this because I felt the sudden urge to.

Hope you enjoyed reading! - Mon

[asterjennifer]

My other half

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: SE Saeran x Reader

Category: Angst & Fluff

Warnings: Self-doubt, tension

Word count: 5189

Author's Note: Give him love.

Summary: You sit together to enjoy the night around you.

Saeran can't help his fears anymore and confronts you.

He needs to know if you have feelings for his brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Areyouinlovewithmybrother–"

The bewildered gaze you showed didn't surprise him in the slightest, on the contrary, Saeran didn't understand himself either when busting the words out without breathing air in between. His eyes were glued to the ground in front of his feet, every inch of his face burned in bright red. A color that harmonized so well with his hair, however, he detested the fact you must've been able to see it under the warm light of the street lamp.

At first his heart found peace after having you agree to take a nightly walk by his side, it's often a second therapy to him as the empty streets and beautiful stars shining alongside the bright moon offered a certain kind of protection. But he prefered your company twice as much. And when combining these things that he adored with all his heart, for once his restless soul found calm. It's a warm summer night, no need for a jacket or sweatshirts, yet he wore the cream colored shirt that had been a gift of his brother.

Saeyoung.. Saeran thought about his brother a lot, not only because they're living together in that underground bunker he declared his home. It's about everything regarding their past, presence and future that Saeran broke his head over. The memories which left him with both, a broken heart and a sparkle of hope. The future, wondering if their bond will ever bloom the way it used to again, asking himself for how long they're living together. And the presence, now that Saeran could take a look with ease.

Surely there's an endless list on thoughts when it came to the person that shared his face, but this one particular question nagging at the back of his head's overweighting these days. Was Saeyoung your type? Of course, you're both flamming with your friendship since you went through hell when being beside each other. Otherwise you wouldn't have agreed to move into the bunker for some time, it's been Saeyoung's request.

Although it shouldn't bother Saeran, he couldn't help noticing that with each passing day, he found his brother's and your friendship out of ordinary. You're a polite young woman with a pretty face, it's no shocker everyone around you enjoyed the conversations you shared. The RFA's the best example. Despite it all though, you and Saeyoung always felt different to the one with mint colored eyes. More intimate, if he dared to think. You and Saeyoung shared a bond beyond his understanding, there's a deeper connection shared Saeran couldn't identify.

And it plagued him. He's aware, he's the last person that deserved to think this way, he didn't do any good for neither you nor his brother in the past. Still, there's this kindness about you that Saeran's allowed to explore. Your show of affection's obvious, it's the most open way of communication he'd ever seen. The touch of yours considerate and thoughtful, your voice soft with a slight touch of maturity. The words that you bring across easily, as if an angel spoke to him.

Saeran knew he didn't have the right to see you as anything other than his friend, he tried to repress these imaginations for the sake of your friendship. You're the first person he managed to show his heart to, tell some of his insecurities and fears. It's your number he delayed late at night after waking up from a really bad nightmare. You're there whenever he needed stability, or simply asked for comapy. And you never said no to him, not once you pushed him away because he's complicated. You treated him with care. But that affection of yours probably ended up to be the reason for the butterflies inside.

It's an wasted emotion, Saeran's more than well acquainted with the feelings inside his body. The suffocating fear deep down in his stomach. Why your voice caused his heart to skip a beat. How your embrace chased away his demons to replace it with pure light. He knew why he's excited whenever you're spending time with him, why he enjoyed your touch instead of feeling threatened. There's no denying anymore, Saeran realized soon afterwards that he fell for you. The acknowledgment hurt more than any bottle of exlir, to accept what he's feeling quite impossible. Especially after what he'd done to you and your loved ones.

But Saeran's weak. Always had been, always will be. That's never going to change, regardless how well he could handle his past or grow from the trauma. Therefore, he couldn't ignore these things any further, he'd tried for a while. Sadly it's only doing more damage. The jealousy crept up his throat whenever you're laughing with his brother, the way you both seemed to work so flawlessly made him hate himself all over again. Because Saeyoung always got the things Saeran wanted, it's like a curse. The main reason as to why he's so afraid to ask.

So when taking a walk with just you and him, the nervousness didn't leave him to inhale the fresh air like it's usually the case. He wanted to treasure every second you're willing to spend with him, but these doubts and self loathing thoughts didn't let go of his head. He's ashamed for doing this to you, even without your knowledge. Saeran's embarrassed for the love that you're igniting and the following consequences it brought. Such as envy towards his brother and possessiveness whenever the RFA's around. Or the times where he imagined your lips on his underneath the blue sky.

Saeran should've kept his mouth shut after you decided to sit down onto a bench and watch the stars for a bit. There's so much that's able to turn into disaster, it would never work out regardless how much me prayed or decided to hope. He never got his wishes fulfilled, this wasn't an exception. It's selfish, he could be lucky for you to accept him the way you did and the help you offered. It's more than he could dream of, he didn't have the right to want more. But the words left him and now you waited for him to repeat them.

At first he'd been thinking about confessing despite the justified rejection you would give him. Saeran figured it's only fair to speak the truth, you're honest with him all the time. He couldn't act arrogant, if you're liking him enough to be truthful with him, he's required copy the courage. Yet the more he thought about dumping out his feelings, the more scared he got. So instead his brain worked against his decision to ask the one question haunting his nights away. Are you in love with Saeyoung?

"I'm sorry, I don't think I caught your words. Can you say it again?"

He wanted to sink untill he's one with the dirt on the ground. Maybe he could take the chance and ask something nonsensical, just get away from the grave he almost buried for himself. What if you say yes? What when you're going to admit you loved Saeyoung? What should he do, then? It wouldn't change anything, if not making the pain pounding inside his heart worse. Saeran pressed his fingernails into his palms, leaving red marks while pressing his fists down onto his lap.

He could've avoided being confronted with the truth and the unrequited love confession it secretly spoke. Reminding him of his place, teaching him a lesson for having the audacity. He could have, yet he inhaled deeply to say the words slower once more. It's a loss, it's nothing but blunt reassurance that he's never good enough for anything. But there's still hope clinging onto his shoulders. If you didn't love his brother, he might had a chance after all. Somehow. Someday, in some way. Saeran sighed heavily.

"Do.. Do you.."

Why's it so hard? He's already resigned to knowing the answer, what in the world narrowed his throat now? It's not even him spilling the secret of his heart beating for you, it's just a simple question. Nothing to think about, some causal thought that could pass by at day. It wouldn't come across as weird, considering Saeran lived with you both. It would seem like curiosity, if anything. So why. Why did he feel as if he's going to fall apart any second? Before you could've wondered out loud, he frowned deeply.

"Do you have feelings for Saeyoung..?"

He despised the cracks in his voice after placing the question in the air. He hated that the blush reached his ears due to shame, for both digging into your private life and for being desperate enough to corner you. He's disgusting, Saeran couldn't believe he behaved the way a dumb toddler would. This was a nightmare, he wished to take a walk in order to calm down. Now he managed the exact opposite. Doing everything to avoid your stare, he turned his head away completely. There's no guarantee he wouldn't start tearing up when watching you nod.

Not once in his life he had to deal with such emotions. There's a lot he went through and survived in his past, many different aspects of life that taught him how to hide or defend himself in case things got dangerous. This was new, though. He had no clue how to prepare himself, nor what to do once you're going to figure out what exactly's going on with him. Saeran's clueless as to how protect his heart from pain when it came to romantic love. And it's truly terrifying, it forced his body to tremble with fear. He felt helpless.

You shifted, he could hear it. No matter what you decided to say or do, he couldn't look back. He's certain it's going to cause him another panic attack to the point where he's unable to breath. Why are you taking so long? Where you thinking about your words? Maybe to speak them through the flower in order to not hurt him as much when telling him how the odd charm of his brother wrapped you around his finger? With each passing second, Saeran became more and more unsettled.

"Why do you ask?"

His eyes widened, that's not the response he expected. No.. Why did you want to know? You didn't say no, did that imply you're feeling these things for Saeyoung? The feelings he hid away from you? On the other hand you didn't say yes, yet, either. Saeran tried to swallow the bitter taste on his tongue, the attempt ended in vain. Couldn't you just answer? What's suddenly making you curious enough to find out the reason behind his question? What could he possibly say without blowing his cover? So much circled around his head, he feared to suffer a blackout.

One thing he's sure of, Saeran's forced to give you explanation to some degree before you're telling him. He needed a good reason, preferably quickly before you're picking up at the tension that's killing him from the inside. That cut the air and had his chest tighten. What to say? Maybe if he pointed out you're both touchy he could play it off as annoyance. Or if he said that you're both appearing that way to the rest of the RFA, the question wouldn't come from him at all. Saeran licked over his dry lips, voice still too unstable.

"You.. both make t-that impression to everyone.. So I was.. I was wondering."

Not the best excuse he could've come up with, but the only that's plausible. It's acceptable if it's not just him thinking that way, surely nobody would want their entire friend group to think lies or speculate about potential relationships. Hopefully that's satisfying enough for you to give him an answer now, Saeran's uncertain how much of the tension he could continue to bear. Then there's a lightheaded giggle to witness, freezing his blood despite the wamrth of the summer. He somehow didn't like that reaction.

"Really? I didn't know they thought that. Well, suppose it makes sense given our humor."

That's not an answer, you didn't say yes or no. Saeran's reaching his limits, what else could he try to make you confess? Was there really no option left other than pouring out his heart to you? How should he find the strength to get over you and move on without getting a clear set of boundaries? Just why.. Hot water pricked at the conrers of his eyes, he felt so pathetic it's actually concerning. This wasn't going how he thought, then again, nothing ever worked the way he wanted.

"Y-Yeah.. your humor is– it's.. definitely similar."

What am I saying?! His voice's at the edge of breaking apart, it's so clearly to hear it would've been a wonder if you didn't notice. He's just making the biggest fool in history out of himself, this was ridiculous. Anger began to bubble under his skin, frustration rushed through his veins. This was stupid. He's making a big fuss out of your words for literally nothing. The way he felt's a lost show of affection already, he didn't need any confirmation to realize that. Why was he pushing it, then? Nothing made sense, this was a waste of time.

Saeran's jaw's clenched, he couldn't speak rubbish any further even if he wanted. He shouldn't have brought you out tonight. Unsure how to continue, he stood up before brushing his pants free from the cold. The best's to bring you back without another word, that way he couldn't embarrass himself and get you back into the house, close to Saeyoung. You probably preferred his company more anyways. No, not probably. Of course you did, Saeran's brother's a good person. Just like you. It's only natural you had more fun with him.

"Saeran, I don't know why you ask that, but I can't help feeling that.. is it personal, perhaps?"

You found it out. Personal.. There's no way you didn't get the hang of his thoughts, apparently that's enough to send him into motion and take steps back to the house. Saeran's heart's beating so hard, he felt like it's going to jump out his chest and land in front of your feet. It's personal, you'd figured, since he's always selfish enough to keep his own needs and wishes in the spotlight, although he's far from being worthy. Saeran had to hide away in his room, otherwise he'd lose the remaining composure and start crying like a goddamn baby.

It startled him to death once the wamrth of your hand came in contact with his wrist, getting an hold of him without a way to escape. He couldn't tear away from you, it would make everything unnecessarily difficult to explain in the future. So he stiffened, incapable of looking back as you stood up. That's it, the fear caused his stomach to spin like a carousel. You're aware of his feelings towards you, you knew why he asked the question in the first place. And now you're either going to reject him, or even worse, tell him to leave you alone because of how uncomfortable that's making you.

He wouldn't blame that decision, if you decided to move out and never come near him again, he's the last to judge. After what he'd done to everyone, it's only fair. That's his karma, Saeran sympathized with the agony. You deserved so much better after all, someone like his brother. There's a string in his chest as he noticed your touch, which usually helped him relax, now hurt as if someone's sticking needles through his skin. He just wanted to run away, bath in the corner of shame for all entirety.

"Sae? What's wrong?"

God. That nickname didn't make it easier, he's the only one you called that. While you're addressing his brother by his old one, Seven, for him you used a brand new one. It's still his name, yet there's a sweet touch of individuality in the way you called him by that. What was he supposed to do? Nothing's saving the ruined night, especially not as he began to get unnerved to the point where he's tempted to spit out what's bothering him. It's tearing him apart, that you didn't specifically denied the question, nor that you offered enlightenment.

"Sa–"

"Can't you just tell me!?"

A startled yelp fell over your lips, his desperate tone of voice a minor matter since Saeran's patience snapped. He turned back around, grabbing both your shoulders with a firm grip as he eyed your face. Why did you not say anything regarding his brother? Were you embarrassed to talk to him about this? Did it feel impossible to be honest with him once the topic's Saeyoung? What's making you hesitate? Saeran shook his head, mouth open without a sound coming out. When in his meaningless life would he stop hurting?

The shocked facial expression's breaking his heart into pieces, that's just another aspect he's not good enough for. His often unpredictable outbursts pained others, they made things harder without reason. All for the simple fact that Saeran couldn't keep himself together, which he should've with his goddamn twenty-six years of experience. However, there he stood, holding you tightly until it must've been painful. The hot tears mocked him for the countless time. This was a nightmare, his entire existence's a mistake.

"Why are you dodging my question..? Are you doing it on purpose? Why?"

The shock on your side suddenly seemed replaced with empathy, the glitter inside your eyes shining bright thanks to the street lamp's somehow speaking a language Saeran's not able to read. I'm so sorry.. He bit down his lower lip, preventing with all willpower to keep on making you uncomfortable. He's truly sorry for everything that's taking place, yet he's not in the position to turn back time and redo this. It's painful. He's ashamed to the bone. You had to know, more than ever before, so what's your justification to leave him in the dark?

"I... I'm sorry."

Nothing but a whisper, genuine and therefore filled with agony. He's more than just sorry for all the times you bared his incompetence, the deeds sticking to his hands you're aware of. There's no hope, he's messed up. No way a bright shining star like yourself would ever find him precious, regardless how much he changed. I'm so fucking disgusting. Saeran slowly reduced the strength around your shoulders, eyes filled with pathetic tears. Enough. His subconscious hissed, scolding at him that he's only stepping over your private limits. He let go completely, then.

"Let's just.. go back. I'm sorry."

With freezing hands, he took distance from you. One step, a second one before turning around to leave again. Congratulations. The demons awakening from their slumber sneered at him. You ruined the only healthy relationship you have. They made fun of him, clearly finding pleasure in his misery. You lost the one good thing in your life. It hurt in a different way. For how long? He's unsure, but frankly, he didn't want to know. Saeran wanted to stop thinking for once.

For a second time that night, your hand searched his shape. Now it's holding his sleeve in place, he really begged some wonder took place. Like an heart attack, that way he's able to flee and leave the tension behind. She's going to laugh at you.. They snickered sarcastically, forcing him to clench his fist to painful major. She will laugh into your face and tell you she never wants to see you again. Surely that's a possibility after the scene he caused. He wouldn't blame you for such a reaction, the opposite if anything, he would deserve it.

"I didn't mean to dodge your question. I was just wondering.. But if you want to know, then no. I don't love Saeyoung. He's my best friend."

Oh.. Somehow it managed for his chest to untangle the threads and breath through. That's at least something, although he would've bet on ice cream you're both attracted to each other. It's written in your every interaction. Then again, Saeran's uneducated in reading people and their relationships. He might misread everything, not sure if that's making it better or even more embarrassing. Well, guess that's good. Saeran nodded, still not brave enough to turn back and face you. That's all the satisfaction he'd been seeking, now he could start collecting his thoughts.

"Can you tell me why that's on your mind? I don't want to make assumptions, it's not fair towards you."

Given he's freed from some of the agony, he figured lying wouldn't work forever. He could find an lame excuse right now. Then what? In the future it's going to bite his back, rise to the surface and reveal the truth. He's aware feelings like these always find their way out, regardless how careful he's approaching it. He'd seen and read enough in his life to know, it's undeniable nothing's kept as secret. Because one day these emotions would betray him, become so intense he would lash out in a way he didn't want to imagine.

The other option's not prideful, it's far from the perfect moment. You're supposed to have some kind of beautiful date, a great sunny day where happiness's the main focus. A Confession's supposed to be romantic, right? This wasn't going to become cheesy or whatever's happening in these unrealistic movies. Saeran took your hand in his, warm in temperature contrast. So soft, addicting to hold and tempting him to never let go. This was unrequited, he's alone on this sea of helplessness. Yet he knew. He owed you an explanation, more than anyone else. Although it burned his nerves, he found his words.

"I've fallen in love with you. That's why.."

Awkward, both the tone of his abused voice and the silence that followed. I said it– The sudden outburst of his heart took him by surprise, the adrenaline shoot back through every inch of his body. But he felt liberated, it actually brought the dark imaginations to an hold. So what, you could reject him. As long as you're staying by his side, he'll be fine. He could handle this, it's nothing in comparison to his past. Just some moments of his heart contracting, nothing he couldn't overcome. Tell him you keep supporting his decision and let him take part in your life and he's okay.

Saeran's breath caught in his throat after you pulled him back, losing balance in the process and have him stumble down onto the bench. He didn't have much space to ask himself what's happening since his vision turned from the rapid shift, but before he knew, you squeezed both hands against his cheeks. Ah.. How embarrassing, hadn't he made a fool of himself enough tonight? The determination that's steaming from your aura, your eyes fixed on him like he's some math exam got him fidgeting with his brown sweater. Saeran's fear of you hating him ate away his soul.

"You love me..?"

You sounded so out of breath, he's taken aback hardly. Why did it surprise you so much? Wasn't it obvious? Saeran might be good at hiding his emotions, on the other hand he's just a mess whenever you're around. It showed the occasions where he forgot to pay attention, Saeran couldn't even count how often he let the blush take the best of him. Was he so talented at hiding it away? Or did you never questioned these reactions? It's not your intension, he's certain. Yet he felt a bit violated by your shock, that's the last reaction on the list he suspected. Saeran avoided eye contact when nodding his head.

"I— Oh my god.. I never thought you like me that much! How am I that special to you.."

Were you serious? Why you're special to him? That's such a stupid declaration he couldn't stop himself from wheezing. Saeran might as well take paper and pen to start write down the reasons that made you special, he's never going to finish that list within the next twenty-four hours. Unable to speak these thoughts, he instead placed his hands over yours. So delicate, so small. So adorable. There's not much peeking his passion, you're definitely an exception in all existing matters. The red color running down his shoulders spoke walls for that. Saeran felt the corners of his lips pull upward.

"You.. You're..."

While he stared into your face, finally having back the confidence he usually lacked, he couldn't help but notice the sweet rush of color that filled your cheeks. Similar to his own. Your lips so soft looking and your eyes sparkling in a way a wildfire would be jealous. So beautiful. The most beautiful thing he's ever seen, inside and out. There weren't words to describe how perfect you were. Saeran thought less and less the more he watched your face being across his. The dreamy emotions must've shown, he could feel the silly smile that's crawling over his lips.

"You're perfect (N). I mean it.."

It's true, Saeran meant the words as they came from the bottom of his heart. You lost some shock inside your features, soon replaced by a calm albeit serious gaze that reminded him your hands were on his face for quite a while. He didn't expect you to lean down, he malfunctioned once the sent of yours rose into his nose. Comfortable and familiar. The moment you placed your lips against his, that poor heart behind his ribcage stopped beating. She's.. kissing me.. Saeran's aware he should've retuned the gesture, sadly all his muscles were kept in place. Everything's moving in slow motion.

You're soft, desirable even as you moved your lips carefully against his. Nothing extravagant, he's sure that the kiss's the most innocent gift he ever got. He could see your eyes close, a little sigh dying between the nonexistent space, like you're relieved. Like you waited for this to happen. Right when he thought he's capable to process what you'd done, you're pulling away. Tears held his vision blurry, due to him not blinking and maybe the realization that you shared some of that affection he longed for so long. Out of reflex, he lifted his hand to hide away his lips. They tingled. All of him did, actually. He never felt like that before, it's confusing.

"If I would've known sooner.. I would've kissed you a while ago."

"W-What..? Wh–"

You interrupted his stuttering with another kiss, pressure used and therefore a tad more urgent. Saeran's certain he died, otherwise he couldn't explain what's happening. Maybe he's dreaming and would wake up to the nosie of his brother's whinging soon. The thought narrowed his throat, his hands reached out to get a grip on your shirt. This time, more prepared physically, he closed his eyes as well. It's better than he could've ever imagined. You're sweet, he swore there's a hint of strawberry on your lips. This was to good to be true. Perhaps you're believing in a different meaning when it came to kissing. You pulled away once again.

"Thank you for telling me, Sae.. I love you too. And I'm so, so happy you told me."

How? How's that possible? Saeran's fingertips burned like a thousand fires. Could this be reality, one where he's actually allowed something of his own? Did you really, you from all people on this earth, felt the same towards him? You deserved better and there's guilt spreading on his tongue. To his luck, the happiness exploding in his heart's much bigger, so big he almost choked on the feeling. You chucked lightheaded by the look on his face, he couldn't phantom the chaos that's running in milliseconds over his eyes. You loved him? You? It's too much to take, let alone comprehend.

But there you stood, beaming with the widest smile he'd ever seen on you. Breathtaking, really. Your fingers ran up into his chaotic hair, going through the red strands with both strength and care. It felt safe, giving him the chance to let out the sigh he didn't know he held back. He prepared for every kind of pain after asking the question, instead he got rewarded with nothing but bliss. You continued the silent caressing a moment longer, watching his shoulders relax into the touch. Were you calming him? Whatever the reason was, he never wanted you to stop.

"It's fine, I know it's– a lot. No stress, we can.. we take it easy and slow."

You assured with an amused whisper, lingering inside his ears like a prayer. Of course.. You would consider his wellbeing, since he's still hard on both himself and the people around him. Doubts and regrets took away lots of playground, they poisoned his head at night and humiliated him at daytime. Something as intense as a romantic relationship would certainly drain the both of you, there's no denying that fact. Yet you appeared so willing to give it a try. To give him a chance. And Saeran truly never felt more seen before, what had he done to deserve an angel like you.

"Oh.. okay."

All over the place, he nodded to himself. He's never going to fall asleep tonight, not with these endless thoughts. You took his hand to stand back up, for a short second he feared to lose balance by how fast his head's working. She's in love with me.. Saeran repeated it like a mantra, echoing back in a way it's almost to hard to manage. You took the lead, walking slowly while holding his hand. His eyes glued to your hands twisted, no other words followered. Partly because it's too much for his heart, he needed some time to analyze this entire night.

Also for the fact that millions of questions flapped around his brain, close to knock him over from the intensity. Why were you in love with him? Since when did you feel that way? How come you didn't tell him first? What made you acknowledge him as more than just some damaged roommate? Too many things laying, burning on his tongue. Saeran's aware, however, that you wouldn't run away. He could ask another time, once he's not at the edge of sanity. Instead he focused on his hand still tight in yours. Giving the love he felt a pass to make him feel wanted from inside. You're the one responsible for that massive change in his life.

And for once, he's thankful. Grateful. He could never give back what you offered without expecting anything in return. You're an honest person, someone with a good soul and clean hands. You had humor, charisma that's shining brighter than the sun. A beautiful young Lady that he's head over heels for. Saeran hadn't seen himself like this before, it's new. A bit nerve-wracking, if he admitted. But open to explore, now that you're not just an unreachable dream anymore. You're really here, with him. Walking beside him. Holding his hand. Accepting his feelings. Loving him. The smile on his lips returned, he's fulfilled like never before.

[allthingsarmin]

Hello, can i please request an armin x reader but it’s a modern au where armin is a nerd and the reader is popular, feel free to ignore if you don’t like the idea :)

Thank you for your request, anon! I really hope you like it, and I can always rewrite it if it’s not the way you imagined. Also, sorry it is a little long - I think I got carried away with this prompt haha.

The beginning might be a little angsty, but the ending is cute ^_^

GN!Reader

Warnings: one cuss word, mentions of self-doubt, kissing

Word Count: 2,346

-------------------------

Things change - sometimes for the better - like how Armin finally cut his bob-length hair and now has a handsome undercut that suits his jawline and like how you are finally growing taller since it seemed like forever that Armin was the taller one.

Things change - sometimes for the worse - like how you and Armin used to be so close in grade school, but now in college, your relationship is made up of awkward smiles in the hallways, small waves when passing each other in the library, and unfinished conversations on SnapChat.

Things fade - relationships come to an end, people move on, and that’s just life. Look at you now, from a quiet person to a popular student known for your humorous remarks, angelic facial features, a delightful sense of style, and your beautifully color-coded notes. You capture hearts with your smile, and you never fail to make anyone laugh with your stupidly funny puns and nonsense. To put it simply, Armin is a bit different - well, you could say nerdy. Quiet, polite, and has as much passion for the world as he does intelligence. Always heavily invested in school and studying as you could almost always find his nose in between the pages of a book or study guide. Poor Armin - not known for his sweet personality or his above average intelligence. Definitely not known for his sense of style but always comes to class dressed in a rather dashing blazer and keeps a couple Kleenex tissues in his left pocket. Armin barely has any friends, - if any - but he always makes sure to hold the door open for strangers, smile at teachers when entering the classroom, and send you a “Happy Birthday!” text every year.

Some things don’t fade - like Armin’s feelings for you even after you two grew apart and he was forced to watch you from the sidelines. How could he not be so deeply in love with you? When you two were close, you coddled up with each other and read books about the ocean, learning about sharks and so naively believing in the theory of Atlantis. You stayed over at each other’s houses and studied together as well as comforted each other if one of you didn’t do as well as you expected on a test. You used to braid his long blond locks as he told you stories about his grandfather. During the summers, you would use chalk to draw a picture of you two on the blistering sidewalks outside his house, and he would give you handmade bookmarks as a present. Even though you two have grown apart, he is still in love with you, watching you laugh from far away. The way your eyes squint out of happiness and the sound of your hearty laughter makes his body heat up and his cheeks rosy. The way you sometimes send him “Good luck!” texts for when there’s a big test in a class you both are taking makes him smile with teary eyes since it seems that you have in fact not forgotten about him and his intense anxiety when it comes to test-taking. The way you ran up to Armin and gripped his arm when you unexpectedly saw him in the campus coffee shop that one time sent a euphoric tingle throughout his body that made him forget how to breathe properly. How could he not love you when you were always there for him, when you remembered every personal detail he told you during late-night childhood sleepovers, when you tried your best to make him love himself? Armin wants so badly to tell you how important you are to him, how he wants to protect you from everything bad in the world, how he wants to wrap his arms around you and listen to your heartbeat… you are just so hard to reach. He is a nerd, a loser, and you are so popular, surrounded by endless amounts of friends… he’s sure your contacts are completely full and DMs flooding with people who are interested in you and are a lot better than him. What was the point in even trying?

Luckily for Armin, you feel the same way. To be honest with yourself, your stupid jokes, loud laughter, and wide smiles were really just a cover-up for how deeply sad you are. No matter how many friends you have or instant messages you receive from strangers online, you feel incredibly alone because none of them are him. Popularity doesn't matter to you anymore - you just miss your best friend so terribly. You missed walking on the beach together, splashing each other with the salty waves, making study-flashcards together, and being able to touch his beautiful blond hair whenever you wanted. Armin’s birthday is coming up, and you want to make your move and do something big for him that would let him know how special he is to you. This time, it wouldn’t involve loads of friends or a loud party with that overly social and fake personality of yours.

You text Armin: “Hey Armin! We haven’t talked in awhile, but your birthday is this Saturday, and I would like to meet up with you. Are you free to go to the beach on Saturday? I want to give you a present, and I just want to catch up with you. I miss my friend!”

Armin read the text with relief. Even if he couldn’t have you the way he wanted, he still wanted more than anything to reconnect with his old friend. “It’s good to hear from you, y/n! I have no plans for Saturday, so of course we can meet up… around 7pm if that’s okay. I want to watch the sunset! And I miss you too…”

Saturday:

It is November, which means it’s cold. At the beach in November? Even colder, so you make sure to dress warmly.

It is 6:59pm, and you trudge through the moist sand, the harsh wind bearing itself against your face making the tip of your nose turn a bright pink as you grip your hoodie close to your body. In the distance, you see Armin sitting on the sand, shoes off and wearing a dark green sweatshirt with a black beanie. Sitting next to him was his backpack - of course he was the type to bring his school work with him while you always brought your violently vibrating phone with you everywhere.

You release a tired breath as you sit next to him in the sand, setting the bag of presents down beside you and keeping your cold hands in your hoodie pocket. A big smile is on your face as you ask him: “Aren’t you cold, Armin? Why don’t you have your shoes on?!” Armin laughs as he turns his face toward you. At this point, you can see how red his cheeks really are, and this is really the first time you’ve noticed how handsome he actually is. The softness of his blond eyelashes beautifully contrast with the sharpness of his jawline. His smile is soft, and his deep blue eyes pierce into yours. “Hahaha, I don’t know. I just haven’t been to the beach in a long time…” he trails off. “It’s ‘cuz you’re so popular now that you don’t have time to hang out with me,” he states in a playfully butt-hurt tone though you can sense that he is indeed a little upset about it. The waves hitting the shore fill the awkward silence between you two. “I know,” you softly say, “but I think about you all the time. I miss you, and I hope we can be close friends again,” you confess. Armin feels his heart flutter when you say that you miss him. He wants to tell you he loves you and wants to reassure you that he’d always be there for you, but instead he pats you on the back. “It’s okay! I was just joking,” he awkwardly laughs. “Of course we are friends, and I hope we can be even closer too.”

He glances to your side. “What’s in the bag?” he inquires. “Oh!” you exclaim, seemingly as if you forgot about it. You rush to give him the bag and shove it into his arms. “It’s just some stuff I got you for your birthday.”

He rummages through it, going through the endless amount of tissue paper on the top. He pulls out a light blue sweater first.

“It’s almost winter, so I figured I’d give you something warm. I think this color…” you pause and hesitantly reach up to adjust his beautiful blond bangs, “... would look good on you.”

You both make eye contact for a second and quickly look away from each other. “Haha, it’s beautiful, y/n. Thank you!” You are just about to say ‘no problem’ before he is quickly taking off his green sweatshirt and replacing it with the light blue one, his very toned abs peeking through the plain white t-shirt he had on underneath the sweatshirt. You feel your cheeks grow warm and instantly look away. Armin notices and chuckles to himself. He would honestly never mind if you wanted to look at them or even touch them.

“Now, onto the second one,” you say, trying to change the subject. Armin pulls out two matching, homemade bracelets that feature a seashell on both of them. He looks at them silently and intently.

“I made matching bracelets!” you say proudly. “They’re like friendship bracelets, so we both have to wear them all the time! You aren’t allowed to take it off!” you joke.

“They’re so pretty, y/n,” he whispers as he stares at the shells, a sparkle in his eyes. He immediately puts it on and gently takes your wrist to put yours on.

“There,” he says contently, carefully placing your wrist in your lap.

You two sit silently next to each other, shoulders brushing against one another and watching the waves as the sun casts a dull orange and purple glow across the sky. The sounds of waves crashing against the shore and the squawking birds in the sky cancel out the noises of Armin softly crying.

Once you notice, you quickly snap your head around. “Armin, are you okay?” you ask, extremely worried.

“Thank you for the presents, y/n,” he sniffles. “You have always done stuff like this for me,” Armin continues as he gets flashbacks of you two running across the beach and gawking at beautiful seashells, telling jokes to each other in grade school when it was supposed to be reading time, and making funny drawings of each other. “I’ve never told you thank you - for being there for me and comforting me all those times, and just letting me be myself. It’s been such a long time since we’ve done anything together. I miss making you laugh, and I miss going to the library with you and asking you about your day.”

At this point, you feel like crying too because you feel the exact same. You spent so much of your life wanting to fit in, and you finally became popular but at what cost? You nearly forgot about the most important person to you, the one person that actually cares about you.

“I love you,” Armin suddenly blurts out, a tear running down his face. “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine,” he says so quietly that it’s borderline pathetic. You swear your heart stopped when he said that. You feel a burning sensation all along your body as you forget about the cold air hitting your face, and you feel your breathing stop. The uncertainty you felt that kept you awake every night about whether Armin thought of you the same, all the self-doubt, all the guilt about leaving your friend behind, had been erased in an instant.

The silence between you two is unbearably awkward, and with confidence you seemingly pull out of nowhere, you throw yourself onto Armin’s lips, your arms enclosing his broad shoulders, and both of you falling sideways into the wet sand. Armin, at first shocked, passionately kisses back and links onto your soft lips. The tips of your noses are cold, but you both eventually succumb to each other's warmth. You both pull away to catch some breath. Armin gently wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him as you bury your head in the crook of his neck. Even after all this time, he still smells the same - vanilla and cedarwood. “I love you too,” you softly say. Noticing that you both are practically wallowing in the sand by now, you apologize. “Also, sorry I ruined your new sweatshirt. There’s sand all over it,” you laugh.

“Oh, it’s okay,” he reassures, shyly placing a kiss on your forehead. “Want to watch the sunset with me?” You nod your head enthusiastically, a smile you couldn’t help leave your lips.

“Oh, fuck,” you quitely exclaim.

“What’s wrong?” Armin asks in a concerned tone.

“I forgot I have an essay due at 11:59 tonight.”

Armin busts out laughing - a sound you wouldn’t mind hearing for the rest of your life even though he’s laughing at your poor planning.

“When the sun finally sets, we can go back to my dorm, and I can help you with it if that’s alright with you,” he politely offers.

“Sure!” you happily reply.

You both sit up and face the horizon. The sun was almost gone, and the sky was a heavenly pink color while the sea began to look indigo. Your hands were linked with Armin’s, and for the first time in a long time, you felt warm despite the air getting cooler.

Getting ready to go to Armin’s dorm, he grabs his backpack and his dark green sweatshirt. You get up and check your phone, not at all caring that you have nearly fifty missed text messages and missed calls asking why you didn’t come to the weekly campus party.

You finally have all that you need.

-----------------------

I really hoped you liked it! Requests are open ~ I have another request that will be posted soon.

[sirisuorionblack]

The doctor (part 3)

Cedric Diggory x Reader

Summary - When a 25-year-old single father Cedric Diggory was woken up by his daughter to get shots he knew something was going to happen but not in the slightest bit did he know he was going to find new love. (Muggle AU)

Warnings - none

A/N Ahhh I am soooo sorry! I'm updating this is series after ages because my interest shifted from Cedric but its back! So have these! Sorry once again!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You were indeed anxious for what might be the result of the hearing and that alone made it difficult for you to sleep that night. After tossing around in the bed trying to find a comfortable spot for you to fall asleep, you gave up the attempt and made a good decision in opening the psychology textbook that you have read over and over again for years.

Your eyes were blankly staring at the words that made no sense in your mind, the thoughts of the hearing leaving no space for it. You knew how much it meant to Charlotte and Cedric and you could only hope for Cedric to get his daughter’s custody.

It was wonderful seeing Cedric with his little girl. You watched as he held her in his arms, looking at her as though he would bring the stars down for her. You had also seen her mother in a situation that made you simply despise her. How could she leave such an angel in the care of a man who loved her so dearly and hope for them to be a family? And then fight for custody of the very daughter she left after years? It would always bewilder you.

Charlotte was indeed such an angel, and you could see how much she adored you that immediately felt a surge of protectiveness washing over you when you were with her.

You didn’t know when sleep had overtaken you but the next thing you remember was someone shaking your shoulder.

You blinked your eyes to clear the sleep out of them and the first thing you saw was Cedric’s sparking grey eyes, smilingly in hurry although never failing to captivate you. He stopped fretting for a moment before shaking his head and whispered, “I have to leave now. Is it alright for you to take care of Charlotte today, right?” 

“You're leaving already?” You checked the time on your phone and it was 4 in the morning. 

“Yeah, you will be able to be alone with her, right?” Cedric asked, concerned. 

You nodded, “Yep,” you managed to stand up straight and followed him outside your room. Cedric grabbed a cereal bar from the kitchen counter on his way to this door. 

Before leaving he turned around, looking at you unsure, “If you don’t mind can you be in her room? There is a couch in the room. I'm sorry but she is afraid to-”

”Cedric,” you chuckled, “I will be with her, don’t worry. She's in safe hands,” 

He breathed of relief and looked at you for a second standing there awkwardly. You took a deep breath and pulled him in for a quick hug, not providing Cedric enough time to sink in the comfort of your arms, and think of dropping all his plans. 

“Your gonna rock it, I promise,” You smiled at him and patted his arm. Cedric looked relieved when he stepped out of the door and took a deep breath. He dreaded the day. 

You sighed and closed the door after him. Dragging your feet to the kitchen, you gulped down a glass of water. It was all a mess beyond any ability of comprehension in the sleepy state of your mind. Blindly complying with what was told, you left to Charlotte's room, silently. 

Smiling at the elegantly placed pillow and blanket on the couch, you glanced at a fast asleep Charlotte, and allowed the sleep to take over you once again.

"(Y/N)?" For the second that day, you had shot up in alarm, only to recognise a similar pair of shining grey eyes and relax.

“Charlotte, what’s wrong?” You sat up and asked with a hoarse voice. She whimpered and looked at her hands. You noticed how her breathing rate quickened and her bottom lip wobbled and you didn’t need to be a detective to know what had happened.

“Come here, honey,” You opened you arms as an invitation for her to climb onto your lap which she did without an ounce of hesitation.

“Its alright, darling, I’m right her with you,” you said and patted her back. You rocked the two of you slightly and tried to calm her down.

“I love you,” you heard her whisper and felt your breath get caught in your lungs. You blinked twice and slowly let out a breathy chuckle.

“What did you say? Charlotte? Darling? You asleep, already?” you said but received no response in return.

You sighed and mumbled an “I love you too,” back and leaned against the couch. Rubbing circles in the small of her back and you were certain you would not be able to sleep any longer.

Charlotte had laid in your arms till noon and prevented you from doing almost anything. Unable to control you’re bladder anymore, you laid her on the bed and quickly left to the restroom.

When you returned to the bedroom after brushing your teeth, you were thankful to see Charlotte stirring, “Good morning, love,” You greeted warmly and grinned. Crawling onto the bed, you sat next to her and leaned against the headboard.

“Good morning,” She threw an arm over your lap and rolled over towards you, her eyes still closed. You chuckled and ran your finger through her curls.

“Where is daddy?” she asked and pulled away to look at you in the eyes.

You sighed and thought of reason to tell her, not having the energy to tell her he was out in a court fighting for her with her mother. You resorted to a simpler and easier answer, “Your daddy is out, darling, he will be back soon,”

“When will he be back?”

“I don’t know, honey. He will call us when he leaves,” you said, massaging her scalp. She hummed and pouted, “Why didn’t papa tell me he was going out?”

You took a minute to wonder why she called her father with different names at different times without any reason. You blinked and shook your head, “It was – uh – a sudden plan, darling! That’s why he couldn’t tell you because you were fast asleep when he decided it,”

“When did papa tell you?” She asked, her big eyes staring at you, hopefully, like you had answers to every question of hers; perhaps, it was trust. It wrenched your heart as you provided false answers to her question but she didn’t need to know of them just yet.

“Early in the morning. I think about 4 when my little girl was fast asleep, snoring,” You tickled her sides and watched proudly as she giggled but didn’t pull away rather moved closer to you and tugged at your hands.

“Alright, alright,” You took her into your arms and stood up from the bed, “You’re going to go brush now and I’m going to try to make you some-”

“Pancakes!” She yelled, raising her hand in the air.

You chuckled, “Pancakes, is it, then!” you let her down and pushed her gently to the bathroom, “Now, go brush,”

She stood at the entrance of the bathroom, and turned to glare at you with her hands on her hips, “Papa used to brush me,”

You narrowed your eyes at her playfully, and copied her position, “I live with you for over a week, darling. Now, go brush,”

“I can’t reach!” She whined, stomping her foot.

“Your just like your father, aren’t you?” You shook your head and took her in your arms again and placed her on your hips.

“What?” she scrunched her eyebrows, adorably.

“Both of you get what you want,” you said, pinching the tip of her nose, lightly. She giggled and buried her head in your shoulder.

Hours passed and Charlotte spent the time without much thoughts of her father rather warmed up to you in the comfort of your couch, happily watching Disney movies with you. Then, came your much awaited ring. You darted to your phone and picked up immediately, Charlotte bounding after you and jumping up and down the couch as you answered the call.

“Hello?”

“The hearing is finished. I’m coming home, now,”

“How did it go?”

“I’ll tell you everything when I get there,”

“Alright. Oh, wait, wait, don’t cut the call, Charlotte wants to speak to you,”

“Yep,”

“Daddy!”

“Hey darling. Are you enjoying your day, puppy?”

“Yes, papa! (Y/N) is soo fun! When you come back can you get me some chocolates, papa? You told me you’d get them,”

“Of course, my love!”

“Love you, papa!”

“Love you too, darling!”

“Papa is coming home with chocolates!” She jumped into your arms. You chuckled and spun around with her secured in your clutch.

Within fifteen minutes of her excitement, the door bell rang and Charlotte was more than happy to receive her father. Opening the door for her, you anxiously leaned to look at Cedric, worried of the result of the hearing.

You were relived to see him catch his daughter in his arms and pepper her face with kisses, a wide grin on his face, “I love you, darling!”

“I love you too, daddy!” Her little arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and her head was buried into the crook of his neck when he stepped into the home.

The beautiful grin on his handsome face brought tingles to your stomach and you felt your heart swell.

‘We won,’ he mouthed, tears stinging his eyes. The years of struggle finally paid off and he had his daughter t himself. He no more had to fight to be her father. He no more had to leave her alone to that damned hearing every other time.

You placed a hand over your mouth and nodded asking for a reconfirmation. A  rapid nod in response and both of you resisted the urge from just pulling the other into a tight, warm hug.

“Puppy?” Cedric leaned back to look at charlotte in the eyes. The pad of his thumb rubbed over her cheek as he kissed her forehead, “You’re my little girl, darling,”

Charlotte giggled although he could see the confusion in her eyes. Cedric ruffled her hair, “We are going out tonight,”

“Where, papa?!” Charlotte asked, smiling widely making his heart swell with love and pride.

Cedric kissed her cheek, “To the restaurant down the street,”

“Can we get shawarmas!?” She asked, excitement bubbling in her eyes.

“Anything you want, my love!” Cedric said and looked back at you, “Get ready, alright? We will leave within half an hour,”

“Me too?” you asked, taken aback.

“Yes, of course,”

“Uh, alright,” You fiddled with your fingers, nervously and nodded your head, hesitant, “Sure,”

The sun was already setting by the time you left the home, dressed casually. Cedric and you stood on either side of Charlotte, who held your hands tightly and spoke as she pleased.

To the onlookers the three of you would have looked like a little happy family with a loving father, a caring mother and their little princess. They would have noticed him looking at you with much admiration in his eyes and watch your eyes skim over his handsome features when he wasn’t looking. They would have seen love weaving the three of you into a tightly knit family wrapped in warmth and protected against everything.

[rainbow-shine]

i'll never wear your broken crown, but in this twilight our choices seal our fate

An alternative s4 in where Dean has powers and that changes everything and nothing. Dedicated to @wormstacheangel and inspired by this headcanon.

It started with little things.

So little that Sam wouldn't have noticed them had it not been for the fact that he couldn't help but look at his brother like a hawk lately, partly to comfort himself that he had Dean back and partly to make sure his brother wouldn't find out about his extracurricular activities.

Dean doesn’t gets hurt anymore.

Sam felt his heart stop inside his chest when he entered the kitchen at Bobby's house and found Victor's ghost with his hand embedded in Dean's chest. With a swift movement Sam fired, the ghost disappeared and Dean fell to the ground.

Completely unharmed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked either way. Dean gave him an unimpressed look before saying no.

The thing was, Sam had seen Olivia's corpse, had seen the corpses of the rest of the hunters. Right now Dean should be bleeding to death on the floor, his heart ripped from his chest, but instead he was just catching his breath like he'd just taken a good hit.

Sam, at that time, thought it was a fluke.

But it kept happening.

They had a dangerous job and the threat of the apocalypse only made the monsters worse, but Dean was always unharmed. Not a single mark stained his body and the times something or someone managed to hurt him, those wounds always disappeared in less than a day.

"You test him, right?" Sam whispered to Bobby, as soon as Dean went to buy something for dinner and Sam stayed with the excuse of researching something on a new book.

"Who?"

"Dean," Sam clarified. “After he was resurrected”.

"Of course I test him, Sam," Bobby hissed. “Do you think I'm stupid?”

"No, it's just…" Sam stopped speaking, realizing that his arguments at the moment would sound more like conspiracies. The fact that Dean was apparently untouchable wasn't exactly a bad thing.

"What?" Bobby asked sharply.

"Nothing," Sam replied, quickly coming up with an excuse. “It's just that I feel like there's something different about him”.

"Sam, your brother just came back from hell. Literal hell,” Bobby exclaimed slightly condescending. “His mind is trying to process a trauma that, as far as I know, no one has ever experienced. You can't expect him to be the same as before, because he won't be”.

"I know, Bobby."

"Then stop complaining".

So Sam stopped. After all, Dean was still Dean and the fact that nothing could hurt him was just one more reason for Sam to do everything he could so that nothing that could reach him.

•●•

The first time Dean went to sleep after being rescued from hell, in the uncomfortable but familiar couch in Bobby's house, he dreamed of a light.

A light so bright that he felt it might be able to melt his eyes out of his sockets, but at the same time it was warming a part of him that always seemed to be cold.

A light that was comforting and gentle. A light that meant love and salvation.

That night, in an abandoned barn in Illinois, Dean knew that he hadn't been dreaming at all.

•●•

When he was a kid and dad decided to start taking Dean on hunts, Sam used to kneel by his bedside and pray that god would keep his brother safe.

After Jess appeared nailed to the ceiling and their apartment was consumed by flames, Sam began to pray for forgiveness.

The day Dean was dragged to hell Sam stopped praying, because he knew that no one was listening to him.

But then Dean was saved. Dean was saved by an angel and Sam felt his faith restored. How he couldn’t have faith when an angel had achieved what he had been trying to do for months?

But apparently Sam Winchester couldn't have good things, because again his faith was destroyed and the angels, as Dean had said, were nothing more than dicks with wings.

The boy with the demon blood.

The curse Azazel left on him and the only chance they had to truly stop Lilith.

There was fear in Dean's eyes.

And that hurt so much more than anything the angels could have told him.

His powers were a curse, but he had stopped Samhain thanks to them. They may not have saved the seal, but an entire city was beginning their day with nothing to worry about thanks to them.

Sam was doing the right thing. He truly was.

It didn't matter that no one seemed to agree with him.

•●•

"Let me guess, you're here for the ‘I told you so’" Dean said, turning on the bench to look at the angel sitting next to him.

“No”.

“Well, good, cause I’m really not that interested”.

"I am not here to judge you, Dean." The angel's voice was surprisingly gentle and Dean tried to ignore the way the light from his halo suddenly looked alluring. Dean hadn't told anyone, not even Sam, what he could see.

Because Dean still wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't gone crazy.

Big black wings curved slightly around both of them as they chatted and Dean, for a moment, stopped seeing Castiel, the righteous angel of the lord and only saw Cas, someone who looked as lost as Dean felt.

"I don't envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean," Cas whispered. “I truly don’t”.

Then Cas leaned into him and Dean felt his mind short circuit for a second, because the angel clearly seemed to want a kiss. But no, Cas stopped an inch from touching his lips, simply watching him simultaneously with the blue eyes of his vessel and with the hundreds of curious eyes of his true form.

“What…?” Dean's question was interrupted by something coming from Cas' lips and colliding with his. Dean instinctively parted his lips and allowed Cas to give him whatever he wanted.

It wasn't liquid, but it wasn't a gas either. It was tasteless and Dean didn't feel it pass down his throat or vanish in his mouth. His heart raced and he felt… safe. Blessed.

As soon as it started it was over and by the time Dean managed to control his heartbeat, Cas had vanished and no one seemed to have witnessed what had happened.

•●•

Ruby didn't like Dean.

For many reasons, some more obvious or justifiable than others. But for the sake of the role Sam had to play, Ruby forced herself to cooperate with the older of the Winchesters.

But this was too much.

The mere presence of Dean made her feel like there were cockroaches crawling all over her body. His soul had taken on a new glow and Ruby didn't want to know what kind of things Dean was doing with his angel to have that kind of purity.

"I think there's something wrong with Dean," Sam confessed and Ruby could feel the fear making his voice shake or maybe the shaking came from the blood that was still running down her arm.

"What are you talking about?" Ruby asked sweetly, almost genuinely concerned. If it were up to her Dean would still be rotting in hell, but Sam was on his way of doing a miracle and Ruby felt that someone like that deserved all the happiness and satisfaction in the world. Even if it meant having to put up with Dean Winchester.

"He looks different," Sam said. "I think the angels are doing something to him. My brother would never have..."

"What?" Ruby prompted. "Would never have risked his life for an angel?"

"Well, no".

Ruby had a sudden epiphany that they weren't talking about Ana.

"Maybe the angels are… purifying him," Ruby suggested. "I mean, you know what he did when he was in hell".

The idea of ​​Dean, brave and kind Dean, torturing souls in hell and enjoying it was too funny to be true.

"It's something more than that".

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know!"

Ruby thought that they had already wasted a lot of time talking about Dean, so she decided to silence Sam with a deep and dirty kiss, climbing onto his lap and thinking that heaven could purify Dean as much as they wanted, because she would see to it that Sam was more powerful than they could ever imagine.

•●•

The angels had taken his brother and Sam swore he was going to kill them as soon as he found them.

Wasn't it enough that they were manipulating and corrupting him, they also had to make him relive what happened in hell?

Dean had protected him from many things. Dean, his older brother, had taken it upon himself to give him a childhood that he never allowed himself to have. Dean had been in the front row of his school play. Dean had made him tomato rice soup whenever he got sick. Dean had put a wad of money and a cell phone in his bag when he had left for Stanford.

Dean had sold his soul to save him.

So now it was Sam's turn to save his older brother.

•●•

"For what it's worth," Cas murmured against his lips. Dean was shuddering with what could be fear or perhaps anticipation. "I would give anything not to have you do this".

•●•

Sam had killed Alistair and Dean was furious.

Hundreds of emotions were piling up in his mind and he wasn't able to understand how his brother could be so stupid to not see that his powers were changing him for the worse. Dean could feel that something was wrong with Sam and his little brother didn't seem to mind.

"I did it to save you!" Sam insisted, throwing his hands up as if Dean was going to lunge at him despite still being slightly dizzy from the hospital drugs. "I only used my powers to protect you when the angels couldn't!"

"Cas did the best he could."

"Really?" There was a note of hysteria in Sam's voice. "Are you going to defend him?"

"Sam..."

"He forced you to torture Alistair despite knowing what you did in hell!"

"He had no other choice!"

"He's using you!"

"But at least he has never lied to me!"

The lightbulb in the room exploded.

Both brothers froze and Dean could see that Sam was breathing heavily and refusing to meet his eyes.

"Sammy?"

"I'm going to get some air," was all Sam said before he practically ran out of the room.

Leaving Dean wondering if things between them would one day stop being so broken.

•●•

Dean's eyes glowed blue.

Angelic blue.

Sam had to save his brother before it was too late.

•●•

The first time Dean healed him, Sam felt like something inside him was burning.

It had been a hunt like any other. No seals threatening to break, no angels or demons. Just the two of them against an angry ghost, just like old times.

Except the ghost was really angry and by the time Dean managed to burn their bones, Sam had been thrown into several graves and several trees and he was sure the back of his head was bleeding.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, running up to him and gently laying him on the ground, with his head in his lap, examining the severity of the injury. Sam felt like a little kid again, feeling safe next to his big brother.

For a moment, there was no apocalypse or arguments. Just the warmth of his brother's body and gentle fingers running through his hair.

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam managed to say. "You know how much head injuries bleed. It's less serious than it seems".

"I know, Sammy".

And then Sam felt the soft strokes on his hair turn into flames and a gasp escaped from his throat. The pain lasted only a second and by the time Sam regained awareness of his surroundings, none of his injuries were still hurting.

"What did you do to me?" Sam hissed, pulling away from Dean and standing up quickly and nearly falling back to the ground from the wave of nausea that washed over him.

"I… I don't know." Dean looked as terrified as Sam felt. "I just wanted to make you feel better".

Dean wasn't normal anymore. Whatever the angels had done or were doing to him was changing his brother.

And Sam no longer knew if he could save him.

•●•

"What's happening to me, Cas?" Dean asked. Trying to convince himself that his little brother was safe and that even though Lilith had escaped, she at least hadn't made any deals with Sam.

"You're changing," was Cas' soft reply. "A metamorphosis, a revelation".

"Am I not human anymore?" Dean asked with his voice showing the terror he really felt.

"You're always going to be human, Dean," Cas reassured him. "Every saint, every messiah, was as human as you".

"I don't deserve this, Cas," Dean gasped, closing his eyes to avoid seeing Castiel, his wings and halo, his eyes and his light. He wasn’t worthy of witnessing the greatness of an angel, not this angel at least.

"Do you still think you don't deserve to be saved?" Cas whispered and Dean trembled slightly as he felt a warm hand gently touch his chin, forcing him to look up and open his eyes. Cas was looking at him so adoringly that Dean felt like he was going to combust in any minute. "Do you think you don't deserve to be loved?"

This is love? Dean almost asked, but instead he connected his lips to those of the angel in front of him and tried to ignore the way in which, for the first time since he had been dragged to hell, he felt pure.

•●•

Castiel couldn't keep doing this.

Heaven had lied to them. Castiel had delusionally believed that he was keeping Dean safe, that he was rendering him immune to demons, healing his wounds and protecting him from all danger.

When in reality Castiel had only been poisoning him.

Shame mingled with guilt within his grace. His wings were flapping as fast as they could, pulling him towards Dean. Trying to warn him about what heaven was planning. Trying to save him from the hell Castiel had condemned him to.

The angels found him first.

Castiel felt how his wings were imprisoned and how his entire being seemed to be consumed by the most absolute pain.

"Take him to Naomi," ordered one of his superiors. "Fix him as soon as possible".

The last thing Castiel felt was the bond he had begun to form with Dean being brutally ripped apart.

•●•

No demon could touch him and surprisingly that wasn't the strangest revelation Dean had that day.

No, the fact that the demon that tried to touch him in Jimmy Novak's house let out a scream of pain as he held onto his burned hand paled in comparison to everything else:

Seeing Sam, his baby brother, throw himself on a demon to drink her blood, broke his heart in a way that Dean couldn't even begin explain.

After that, seeing how Cas looked like his wings had been passed through a shredder while his true form's eyes seemed dull and unfocused only served to make his wounded heart surrender completely.

Dean was practically invincible, but right now, with the broken pieces of his heart trying to stick together, he felt more fragile than any glass.

•●•

Bobby wasn't having a good day.

No, that wasn't good enough, Bobby wasn't having a good life.

But this day was particularly bad.

No matter how much he wanted to ignore them, Bobby could still hear Sam's delirious screams. And to think that the boy who had entered his house years ago, hiding behind his older brother and observing everything with big eyes full of curiosity, was now going through a detoxification process for having consumed demon blood, was something that Bobby could hardly tolerate.

The fact that Dean was a mess didn't help much either.

Dean appeared to be a shadow, drowning in alcohol and carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bobby wondered if there was something wrong with him too, for on more than one occasion the lights around him seemed to flicker and his eyes seemed to emit a strange light.

What had these two idjits gotten themselves into now?

•●•

Dean didn't know what else to do anymore.

"She's poison, Sam," Dean said, praying his brother saw reason. Sam just gave him a wry smile.

"What about Castiel?" Sam hissed and Dean instinctively took a step back. "Is he poison too, Dean?"

They had both lied to each other and here were the consequences.

"Cas is an angel," Dean replied. "He's just protecting me".

"What makes you different from me?" Sam asked. "Tell me, why are you allowed to be a freak and I'm not?"

"Sam that's not how things are..."

"Of course they are!" Sam yelled. "All my life I have been the freak of our family, I never fit in with you and dad, and I was ready to accept that I'm different from you, but it turns out that you are the same freak as me!"

"It's different and you know it, Sam," Dean tried to argue. "Cas never made me drink his blood, he never made me promises too good to be true, and he never made me addicted to anything".

"Why?" Sam asked, sounding exactly like the scared little kid who had believed that the monster under his bed was real. Dean felt his heart ache. "Why if we are both freaks I have to be the monster?"

"It's not too late, Sam," Dean pleaded. "We can still stop this. No angels and no demons, just you and me. Like before".

"I… I can't do that, Dean," Sam denied.

"Of course you can," Dean insisted, moving slowly toward Sam. "Say goodbye to Ruby, return with me to Bobby's house and we will find a way to end it all. I just want you to be okay, Sammy".

Sam's skin began to burn the moment Dean placed his hand on his arm.

No.

"Sammy?" Dean didn't recognize his own voice, he felt like his body had ceased to be his. A witness of his worst nightmares. A tear ran down his cheek. "Sammy, please".

The blow hurt less than the implications of what just happened.

•●•

It wasn't fair.

None of this was fair.

The place where Dean's hand had touched it still hurt. A reminder of what he had sacrificed for the greater good. A mockery of what he had lost by trying to be a hero.

But he couldn't stop, not now that he was so close to ending it all. Not when it was only a matter of hours before Lilith tried to break the final seal.

Ruby's presence was a comfort with the same intensity as a punishment, because Dean hadn't trusted him the way she did, but still Sam wanted the presence of his older brother.

That part of him that had believed for years that his older brother was a superhero right now wanted to run up to his brother and beg for forgiveness.

But Sam was no longer a child and his brother had made a decision.

It was time for Sam to made his, too.

•●•

The angels had kidnapped him. There was no other way to describe what they had done to him, but Dean had made a promise and he planned to keep it. So he stayed there and listened to what the angels told him.

But the moment Zacharias leaned toward him, his movements clinical and expressionless in a way Cas' had never been, Dean couldn't resist the urge to seal his lips, lower his gaze, and take several steps back.

"Dean," Zacharias sighed, as if Dean was a little kid who didn't want to eat his vegetables.

"No," Dean refused and before he could regret it he added. "I want Castiel to do it".

The expression on Cas' face was heartbroken.

"Very well," Zacharias agreed, before ordering Cas to come over to him.

With Cas' lips so close to his and with the warmth of what he now knew was grace enveloping his body, Dean wondered if Sam had been right and Cas had been poisoning him too.

Perhaps both of them had poisoned each other.

"You're almost ready," Zacharias marveled when Cas broke away from him. "Everything will go according to plan".

Dean wasn't so sure about that anymore.

•●•

"Sam," Ruby said, her dark eyes showing a panic Sam never remembered seeing. "Time is running out, are you going to do it or not?"

With Dean's voice telling him that he was a monster echoing in his head, Sam knew he really had no other choice.

•●•

"You know what's real?" Dean asked and didn't wait for an answer before grabbing the lapels of Cas' trenchcoat and slamming his lips against his.

Cas seemed to freeze for a moment before reciprocating the kiss with intensity. His black wings curved around both of them and Dean felt the heat of his halo brushing against his hair. Invisible hands caressed his skin and hundreds of eyes watched him adoringly.

"This is real," Dean gasped as they parted. "This, us, people, families— that's real. You're gonna watch them all burn, Cas?"

"What would you have me do, Dean?" Cas whispered. His wings trembling slightly.

"Get me to Sam," Dean said. "We can stop this before it's too late".

"I do that, we will all be hunted," Cas replied. "We'll all be killed".

"If there is anything worth dying for... this is it" was all Dean could say.

Dean barely had time to react before he was being pushed into one of the walls and kissed desperately. Dean raised his hands to tangle them in Cas' hair and parted his lips the moment he felt Cas' tongue touch his lower lip.

His body accepted Cas' grace with ease.

"We have to find Sam, we have to stop him from killing Lilith," Cas told him when they parted.

"Why?" Dean asked, feeling a little dizzy. "Lilith is going to break the final seal".

"Lilith is the final seal," Cas said. "She dies; the end begins".

•●•

Sam had never felt a power like this.

It was all about to end and he could finally have the life he deserved. His nightmare would end and everything Azazel had planned would be in vain. Sam would use the powers that hell had given him for good. He would use the demon blood that ran through his veins to prevent the apocalypse.

And maybe, when things finally ended, Sam could apologize to Dean and all of this would be nothing more than a bad memory.

Lilith was smiling and Sam was eager to erase that smile once and for all.

Finally, everything was about to end.

•●•

Castiel was committing treason.

He didn't even think twice before vanishing Zacharias and carrying Dean as quickly as his wings allowed him to the house of the prophet of the lord. It was the only chance they had to find Sam and stop the apocalypse before it started.

"You guys aren't supposed to be there," said the prophet, frowning. "You're not in this story".

"Yeah, well..." Castiel said. "We're making it up as we go".

Castiel then took a moment to look at Dean, his soul shining as bright as the sun and cradling his grace as if he never wanted to be without it. Castiel felt a wave of affection for the human he had rescued from hell, for the man who had kissed his lips like a lover.

He sensed the archangel's presence long before he appeared and Castiel knew that they had run out of time.

Regardless of whether the prophet was watching them, Castiel pulled Dean to share a heavy kiss. A kiss of regret for lost time. A goodbye kiss.

"I'll hold him off!" Castiel gasped against Dean's lips, allowing most of his grace to flow to him. If Castiel couldn't protect him, at least he would make sure his grace did. "I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!"

Dean connected their lips one last time.

"Good luck".

In the end, Dean had been right. This was something worth dying for.

•●•

He had been too late.

•●•

"I was the best of all those sons of bitches!" Ruby yelled, a maniacal smile curving her lips. "The most loyal!"

Sam had stopped listening to her, just staring in horror at what he had done.

This is not how things are supposed to be. This shouldn't have been the end of this. He had made a stupid mistake, he had been arrogant and he had been naive. Sam had only wanted to protect the world; he had only wanted to take some of the burden off his brother's shoulders.

Sam, for once in his life, had just wanted to do something right.

"You're too late," Ruby scoffed and Sam felt like he might start crying when he saw his big brother.

"I don't care," Dean hissed and Sam could only watch paralyzed as Dean placed his hand on Ruby's forehead and she started screaming, her eyes on fire and the demonic essence of her fading.

"I'm sorry," Sam sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Dean".

Dean couldn't even look him in the eye.

"We have to get out of here," was all Dean said. "Let's go, Sam".

"Dean," Sam gasped. "He's coming".

Dean ignored him, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the exit.

For the first time in months, Dean's touch was no longer uncomfortable.

•●•

The apocalypse had begun.

[amindofstone]

A pirates treasure

a/n: I am in love with a broken character. I am in love with a man that has “death” tattooed on his fingers. I am in love with a freaking 2D character that has the name “Surgeon of death”. Call me crazy but hey, the owner of a heart was never able to choose in who it falls in love. Yeah, to put it short I am in love with a character that barely has any romantic, lovely or sweet traits but still gets me screaming at 2 am whenever he appears. I am in love with Trafalgar D. Water Law.

a/n edited: My attention was drawn to a huge mistake of mine. I really don't want to justify my mistake and just delete it as if nothing happened. So therefore I'll do a quick explanation.

As you can see I used the picture above as a "cover" for my imagine without making any researches about the artist of the amazing work. I got the picture send by a friend with the request if I could use it and so I did without thinking twice. I should have done my job properly by finding the artist and asking for permission but I didn't and simply neglected that. And I'm truly and really sorry for that and genuinely apologise from the bottom of my heart. I hope I'll be forgiven. The picture used was that of the artist @666deaddash999 that has a blog here on tumblr and definitely should be seen. And again my apologies. 

a/n edited pt. 3.: I am in f***ing tears. I don´t deserve this much kindness. This artist, the dear @666deaddash999​ , is truely an angel. I really am garteful for being allowed to use it. Like damn they even liked my fic!!! I am in tears and emotional AF!! Anyways have a nice day and thank you for reading my work!

Genre: anime imagine? One Piece imagine?

Character(s): Trafalgar D. Water Law x Rose (reader)

Warnings: Maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I genuinely apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to improve. So please be so kind and have mercy)

Words: 4257

Info: Keep in mind that the words in italic are Rose (reader) train of thoughts.

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture used is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. !!!

◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇

"Are you insane?! Can you hear what you're saying right now?! No! Do you know what you're saying right now?!", asked the now furious woman. "She lost her mind Marcus. Your daughter lost her brain on the way back home!!", the woman with the probably most expensive tiara on her head was running around the salon while making sure her husband understood her point in their daughters failure. "For the sake of sanity Marcus say something!!! Won't you?!", the woman yelled at her husband who was sitting on his chair in front of the chimney. “I regret the day I gave birth to you? I regret those nine months I carried you. I did not give birth to you so you can end up like this! This is not what we taught you!”. The king was clearly overwhelmed by the whole situation that had to happen two weeks before the king and his spouse from the neighboring island would come. Right at the moment in which he and his wife decided to make their daughter marry their son. The king who usually was always in a good mood and had a smile on his lips was now the total opposite. He was sad and felt lost. He didn't know how to cope with the situation his wife; or rather life confronted him with.

With a hand covering half of his face and closed eyes he focused on his breathing and just let his spouse calm down first before he spoke what was on his mind. He kept telling himself to breathe in and breath out when the queen’s next words made him stand up and leave the room.

"You traitor! How dare you sit there like you're the victim, you disgrace! You disgusting piece of shit! Where did you leave you honor and pride?! In the bed of that scum?!", the words of the mad woman made the young royal look up for the first time she entered the salon. The princess, the third daughter of one of the most powerful kingdoms, was in tears. A hand covering her mouth with the hope to keep her screams of pain inside she just let the tears stream down her face. “Look what you did you cheap piece of shit. I am disappointed in you. No wonder I never was fond of you and your existence. You are absolutely not capable of anything in this world. And Marcus calls something like you his beloved daughter. Get out and get back to your chambers. I don´t want to see you out of your quarter before the royal family whose son you´ll be marrying will come. You heard me! And I dare you to start another tantrum about the marriage or else I make you regret existing.”, Rose nodded and left the salon without a word.

On her way back to her quarter her brother, the crown prince, saw her and wanted to stop her and ask what their mother said, but she didn´t let him touch her or talk to her. He wanted to hold her and comfort her since he knew how their mother can hurt one with her words but she didn´t let him come closer. She silently left him behind and ran to her save place so she could cry out loud with the hope of getting rid of the pain in her chest. She cried and cried until her maid came with her dinner. The maid tried her best to make the young princess stop crying and eat something but she couldn´t make it. When the food she brought her got cold she tried to at least make her calm down but to no avail. Before the sad maid left the princess alone she took the food she brought her and asked her with pleading eyes if she could do anything for her. The maid thought that she won´t answer her while still shedding tears when the princess who was sitting on her bed looked her in the eye for the first time since she entered her chambers. The maid gave her a genuine and friendly smile while telling her that she´ll do anything for her. But the words of the princess made her stop smiling while the little spark of hope died down. “Kill me and put this miserable life of mine to an end.”, the maid did not know what to say so she left her chambers with a soft apology and a deep bow.

Silence.

Suffocating silence took over her chambers after a while when no sound of her could be heard anymore. Her throat was sore from the hurt screams that left her. Screams she tried to suppress with a pillow or her hand. Screams she held in for weeks. If her throat wouldn´t be hurting by now and if she had just a bit more energy she would be screaming more. She would be screaming from the top of her lungs while trying to get rid of the pain in her chest that seems to be clinching onto her for dear life. Her heart was aching. Her soul was helplessly trying to understand what was happening right now while her brain stopped functioning. She was lifeless. She looked like a corpse sitting on a bed. She didn´t move an inch or dared to breathe aloud. When someone would have entered her chambers they would have thought a doll was sitting on the massive bed and not the princess. The princess the whole kingdom loved for her genuine smile and friendliness. A princess that was loved by ever person that saw her because of the kindness she holds in her heart and eyes.

The princess. A young lady whose beauty was known all over the world. Whose kindness anyone knew and mentioned. A young royal with a genuine heart, a heart as pure as that of an angel. A young royal in the age of 19 that was able to make any person walk over broken glass if they could make her smile. But what happened to her? A young lady who used to walk around the kingdom with a smile upon her lips and a childlike playfulness. What happened to the girl that used to be the happiness of any person in the palest and the kingdom?

Rose, never thought that the day would come she needed to be told how beautiful life can be. She never thought that the day would come where her siblings and maids would have to come and tell her that life is full of love and happiness 

Isn´t it funny how fast a person can change? How fast the happiness of a person can be taken away from them. Isn´t it funny how something that is supposed to be good can break a person and ruin their whole life? How can something that she was always told about as the most beautiful and powerful thing on earth break her and be the cause of her pain. Why does it carry so much pain and tears when it´s supposed to be the reason a human lives? This doesn´t seem logical to her. It seems like all the things she was told were lies. Lies and lies told one after another. Why did they lie to me?

Rose was freezing. The dress she was wearing at the moment was obviously not able to keep her warm anymore. She needed to change. She needed to take a bath. But she had neither energy nor motivation to do anything so she kept sitting there while looking out of her huge window. Her window was wide open and let the fresh but cold wind of the spring night enter her save place. Her curtains were waving more and more due to the slowly stronger getting wind. Just when she thought that she calmed down a bit, she suddenly started to remember the words of her mother. Words that were sharper than any knife or sword. Words that cut her heart into pieces. Disgrace, she said. Disappointment, she said. She regrets giving me live, she said. And again tears fell down her cheeks. Tears filled by pure hate towards herself. She hated herself. She hated her body and wanted to die. The couple that used to shower her with love now hated her. Slowly more tears started to stream down her face while she tried to muffle down her soft sobs by putting a hand over her mouth. The cold wind that entered her chambers through her open window and door to her terrace stopped by now only to be replaced by rain. It seems like the sky was the only one that understood her pain and cried with her out of empathy. Day, weeks and now months passed and a forbidden longing accompanied her through her lonely days filled with regret. I wish I never went to the harbor with my maid. I wish I could erase that day from my life and memories.

When she thought that the pain she felt couldn´t get worse a person called her name with so much love it hurt her. She was confused and scared at the same time. With panic written all over her face she looked around her chambers only to be greeted by a tall man who entered her bedroom through her terrace. Slow steps were made as if he knew that she´d be overwhelmed by his sudden presence. She couldn´t see his face but knew that he was looking straight into her eyes. Just when he was about to enter her bedroom he stopped at the door of her terrace and allowed her to hear his voice. A voice that was able to get her weak and lose balance and fall on her knees. But luckily she was now sitting on her bed in the same position since a few hours now. “May I enter?”

A soft whine erupted her sore throat, while her heart started to race. As if she ran from one side of the island to the other. She couldn´t believe her eyes. She wanted to scream his name and jump in his arms. She wanted to kiss his face, hands and shower him with all the love she felt for him but she didn´t move but gave him a small nod that allowed him to enter. Am I imagining this?

His hat he seemed to love so much and that turned into his signature got recognized by the heartbroken princess next to his sword that accompanied him through every fight and battle. But his clothes changed into something she thought he would never wear. It changed into something elegant but at the same time simple. A black long cloak was loosely hanging over his shoulder that was decorated at its collar with a thick pitch black fur. Under the cloak she could make out a white wide loose shirt that gave away a beautiful sight of his toned and tattooed chest. He looked like a sculpture that was awakened to life. She couldn´t believe what she was seeing. She was staring at his face, his hands, his slightly wetted clothes with the hope that her eyes were playing a stupid game with her heart. She couldn´t look away while all this time he was slowly coming closer to her and the bed she was sitting on. Just when she realized who was standing in her chambers she quickly tried her best to pull herself together and speak in a half decent steady voice but sadly to no avail. “Don´t come closer and get back to the place you came from.”

She tried. She tried her best to talk in a convincing and steady voice but she failed, miserably. Her trembling voice and body betrayed her. Her hands that were holding tight onto her sheets betrayed her. Her knuckles that turned white from the pressure she put on them betrayed her. But most of all it were her eyes and tears that betrayed her. Her whole body screamed to be touched by him. Her hands longed for his warmth. Her heart screamed to be consoled and her eyes gave away all of the love she had for him. She shouldn´t be able to cry anymore thinking about the whole day she only cried but unlike a few minutes ago she was now shedding tears of pure joy. “Are you sure that you want me to leave?”, the man in front of her asked her to not only convince himself that this is what she wanted but also to give her the chance to rethink her choice, but the black haired woman nodded what she instantly regretted.

Regret. What a simple word to use when it hold so much emotions and thoughts.

The moment she saw him make a step back and put a distance between him and her, a quiet pleading to not leave her left her lips that made him instantly drop his sword. The sudden sound of his falling weapon surprised her and made her look down to the place it fell. She wanted to ask if he was doing fine when the next move of the man that ruined her life shook her to death. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. He took of his hat and threw it somewhere she couldn´t make out only to get on her bed and connect their lips. She didn´t wanted him to kiss her. She didn´t wanted him this close but still grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. Rose´s hands were trembling while her tears still didn´t stop falling. It felt like a dream, a dream come true when she remembered her mother’s words and pushed him away from her.

Trafalgar D. Water Law.

What or who gave you the permission to enter my live and turn it upside down. The tears that were falling down her cheeks were that of pure happiness to have him in front of her but slowly with her mother´s words coming back to her mind they slowly turned into tears of pain and fear. Law wanted more. He wanted to kiss her more and hold her. He wanted her all to himself. He took her hands, that were still holding onto his shirt, in his and kissed each and every finger of her one by one. “She´ll kill you.”, she said with a quivering voice with the hope to make him understand in what kind of situation they were but he didn´t care at all. “She said she´ll execute you in front our nation.”, but still the pirate didn´t care. In fact he intertwined their hands and started to kiss her all over her face. “She called you so many names and said that she´ll kill any person you are close to right after she killed you. Law are you listening.”, she kept telling him what her mother the queen said but her lover didn´t seem to care. But to make clear that he indeed was listening to her he nodded and hummed in her ear before he made his way to her neck. But before he could place his lips on her skin again she said something what made him stop in his tracks. “I´m getting engaged in two weeks and married next month.”, just when she thought that he´ll get made and push her away she heard a soft chuckle before he laid her down and get back to kissing her while making sure to leave marks here and there. She felt pathetic. She felt horrible. She felt like agreeing to her mother’s words that she is not worth being a royal or a princess. “Law, don´t you understand in what situation I am right now? I feel like I´m a joke to y….”.

“Am I a joke to you? Are my feelings a joke to you?”, Law stopped her midsentence just to leave her with a question that made her rethink all the thoughts she had in the last weeks. But she had no time to think because the man on top of her stood up and left her bed. Panic overcame her and she started to breath quickly. “Please don´t leave me. I beg you Law. I don´t know what to do without you. Please!”

If the princess could see the man’s face at this moment she would have seen his genuine smile of pure happiness and relief. “Who said I wanted to leave you?”, said the tall man and made his way towards her door just to lock it. No matter where he went Rose followed all of his steps around her chambers. He closed the window and the door to her terrace while also making sure to close the curtains. If her maid did not came to light the candelas on her nightstand it would have been pitch black and she wouldn´t be able to see what the pirate who sneaked into the palace would do right now. He took of his shoes and placed them neatly next to the armchair in front of her chimney. Slow and carefully he took of his slightly wet cloak and put it over the backrest to dry. While she wondered if he wasn´t cold with what he was wearing she realized a bit too late that he took his shirt off and went to light up some other candelas in her room while giving her a full display of his tattoos. How on earth could someone as beautiful as him fall for me? What happened that made him love me to an extend he came all the way to the palace to me? Do I deserve this much love? Rose was looking down to her hands that lay on her lap when she felt the bed shift. She didn´t dare to look him in the eyes. She felt cheap and used. How can I marry a man that I don´t love? How can I get married while fully knowing that I gave away the most precious thing I had to a pirate that told me he loved me? I am being the naive and stupid woman my mother called me. “Do you regret losing you virginity to me?”, the sudden question of the criminal she fell in love with surprised her and made her look up to him with widen eyes. “Do you regret letting me be your first kiss? Do you regret letting me lay in your arms?”, Law took her hands back in his to intertwine them again. An act he does without realizing it by now. He was used to place her hand in is. He wanted it and needed it. He wanted to feel her and her warmth. He needed a reassurance that she really was sitting in front of him. He needed something that made clear to him that he wasn´t dreaming and really was beside her and not in his or the strawhats ship sleeping.

“Do you want to marry him? Are you fine with your parents marring you off to someone you don´t love neither know?”, the princess was overwhelmed not only by his question but also by his eyes which were filled by sadness. His grey eyes that usually had something playful and fierce in it. His eyes that used to always soften whenever the landed on her who was his lover, his woman, his absolute everything. The princess placed her hands on his face and caressed his cheeks. If only she knew what that little gesture did to him. If only she knew how much control she had over him. If only. “Trafalgar Law. I gave you everything I had. I let you be my first love and my first lover. I let you be my first kiss and my first time not for you to ask me if I regretted it. Law I love you. Although my miserable live won´t allow me to be with you I can assure you that I would throw everything away only to be with you.”, Laws eyes were closed. He couldn’t think properly anymore. His heart was racing. His mind was an absolute mess. He wanted her close to him. He wanted to feel her. He needed her so he sat her down on his lap and leaned back. With his head resting on the headboard of her bed and the royal lady on top of him he tried to calm his heart down and make it stop racing. “If I wouldn´t be a doctor I would have thought I was about to die whenever I had you near me.”, the young princess looked at him with concern in her eyes. “At that time I couldn´t understand why my heart was racing or why I felt like I was getting crushed. There was always this feeling of something or someone putting a huge amount of pressure on my chest whenever I thought about you. And whenever I had you close to me I felt like I was drowning and losing all my powers. But now I know that it´s alright to feel like this because this is how it´s supposed to be. Because today I know that it´s because I love you.”, Law was not someone that spoke out loud about his feelings. He wasn´t the type of person who shared his thoughts but when he did he was able to blow any person away. The words of her lover made her heart race while guilt over came her. “Stop. Please stop.”, begged Rose while hiding her face in the crock of his neck. She knew that she was hurting him by telling him to stop. She knew that she wasn´t supposed to react like this but what could she do, she was promised to a prince of a neighbor island. She shouldn´t be kissing him or hugging him. She shouldn´t be laying in his arms while he told her how much she meant to him. She should be sending him away like a worthy daughter and princess should do.

“Do you want me to leave. If so than just tell me and I will leave you alone tonight. I really don´t have a problem with that. I can´t bear seeing you sad, my love. I will come tomorrow. Would you like that?”, hearing his words made her look up and see his face to make sure he wasn´t playing with her but no, he was serious. He was smiling down to her while caressing her cheek. The look he gave her broke her heart. She knew he loved her. No matter how many times she told herself that she meant nothing to him her heart told her different. “This is not how it works, Law! You are such a fool. You idiot! I just told you that I´m promised to a prince and here you are telling me that you will come tomorrow if I don´t feel well. What is wrong with you?”, tears were falling down her cheeks. Thinking about the amount of tears she just shed today makes one wonder how she is still possible to cry more. Rose hit him a few times on his chest before she left his lap and sat down next to him. She couldn´t bear being this close to him so she tried putting some distance between him and her when Law laid her down and hovered above her.

“Tell me what is wrong with you? Do you really think I let your parents take you away from me? Do you really think I let some random bastard marry my woman? I am a pirate Rose. If I want something I get it and when I have it I won´t give it back. Do you understand?”, Law spoke in a soft tone but one full of power and determination. Rose didn´t know what to say so she simply kept quiet and kept listening to him. “You are mine. My treasure. My property, You are mine all alone and I don´t share what is mine. And if anyone is so foolish to try to take what is mine I won´t hesitate to cut off their heart.”, the dreaded pirate spoke in his calm but deep voice and made the woman underneath him stare at him without daring to move an inch. “Now tell me do you really thing I let you get married to anyone that is not me?”, Rose was numb. She was awestruck and speechless so Law took the matter in his own hands and took her face in his hands and shook her head in a playful manner. He knew that his words took her by surprise what could he do? It was her guilt that he was head over heel in love with her. “No, my darling. I won´t let go of you. Just wait a few more days and wait for me. I have a little plan to get you out of her.”, the last words the pirate spoke made her widen her eyes. Law indeed loved the effect he had on her. The princess wanted to say something but the pirate didn´t allow her to speak up. He placed a short kiss on her lips before he slowly started to unbutten her dress. “Law?!”

“You can´t imagine how much I missed you. Please allow me to show you how much you mean to me, my dear. Hold me and show me that your presence is not a dream. Please allow me to love you.”

[whumpitisthen]

Récamier

Masterlist

First drabble! This was made as a way to torture my friend who has a slightly unhealthy obsession with vampires. That’s why it’s in first person, I usually write in the third! Anyways, hope you like it. :) 

"So..." - He began. He sounded soft and patient. - "You told me last week you've been having nightmares, ones you’ve never had before."

"Oh, did i tell you about that as well?" You reply, having genuinely forgotten that you told him about those.

"Yes, you have. Has your memory been getting worse as well?" He sounds almost concerned, a look of empathy in his eyes.

"Oh, no, no, I think it's pretty much the same as it always has been...?" It came out as a shaky reply, not confident in your own answer either.  

"You don't sound too sure of that, Darling.” He says, a mocking smile playing on his lips as he notices the reaction the pet name has brought out of you. It wasn't anything big, just a small widening of the eyes and setting of your jaw, but he noticed nevertheless. He seems to really pay attention to you, in a way no-one else has, in a way no-one should.

"Uhmm... I think that's not something to worry about. I just forgot, that's all.” You add with a reassuring smile, ignoring the one that he wore still, though now it's starting to morph into a different one. Looks a little smaller, tight-lipped, overly kind.

He seems to disregard your answer entirely, instead, he pulls himself up a little straighter. He takes a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes, which allows you just a moment to take a good look at him.

You never told him but you do feel kind of intimidated by him. You know you shouldn't be. After all, he's your therapist. You should feel comfortable and relaxed, like you're just having a nice chat with a trusted friend.

But something about him seems... he just seems-, off, sometimes. You yourself are not even sure what the reason for that is. Maybe it's the relaxed way he keeps pulling his finger up and down on the arm of the chair. Maybe its the slight asymmetrical pull of the corners of his mouth, how on the left side it always pulls a little higher when he smiles. Maybe its the way he looks, distinctly paler than you, almost slickly, so much so, that you had to often stop yourself from asking him "Are you okay?". Maybe... Its the way his eyes seem to change colour, with the different lighting. You have noticed all these things about him in the month you've been coming here. Twice a week. He insisted on two times, even though you said you didn't think you needed it. In the end you decided to give in, he was the therapist after all. He knew what you needed.

"You're zoning out again, Darling. Do you perhaps need a break?"

There it is again. That pet name.

He hasn't called you that before. Or has he?

Maybe your memory really has been getting worse.

"Oh, u-uhm, sorry! No, it's fine we can keep going if you'd like." He seems to believe you, as he changes his position, crossing his legs and leaning his chin on one hand, as if getting ready for a story.

"So, you said something about bad nightmares you've been getting at the end of our last session. I'd like to ask you: Have they gotten any worse?"

You still don't remember actually telling him about them and honestly it’s starting to really bother you. You always have your guard up as it is, trust issues and all that, part of why you’re here, talking with your therapist. But for the life of you, you just cannot remember when you told him about those. Because you surely have. You have. He wouldn’t know otherwise! This is stupid.

"Ah, um. I guess... I-I don't know. I feel like they leave me more... tired? Than before. And I seem to get more exhausted as the days go on. I'm afraid I'll start falling asleep at my job if this keeps up."

He hums. Writes something on his clipboard. "Do you still see that shadow person that keeps following you?"

You don't remember telling him that either. No, shut up, you did because he knows, and the only way he would is if you told him.

He seems to notice your hesitation.

"I'm sorry, would you like to not talk about this for now? We can discuss something else."

His voice feels like it's background noise. Like waking up to birds chirping. They're loud and did wake you up, but you don't mind being woken up by birds singing under your window. It's a welcome way of attention.

It calms you. It relaxes you.

It makes you feel... tired.

"We can discuss the way you've been fidgeting a little more today than other times, I have noticed. Or how you keep stuttering so much. I can see something is bothering you. Can you tell me what it is, Love?"

A different pet name, but a pet name nonetheless.

You don't remember him calling you that before.

You don't remember.

You.

Dont-

"How do you know?"

You blurt out without thought.

You immediately regret it, but ultimately decide to keep the question in the air.

Because you cannot explain away the feeling of anxiety at every mention of those dreams, or pet names, or, or- ...you. It feels wrong, in this moment, to talk about you. It sounds dumb, these are your therapy sessions after all. It feels wrong though. Different. Like this isn’t how it was supposed to go. How else could it have gone?

"Excuse me?" He looks genuinely surprised. You think he might've missed the question, with how fast you blurted it out.

Before you could ask again, or rather apologize for the weird as fuck question, he continues. "How do I know... About what? About...” - He seems lost in thought, thinking about what it might be that you're referring to. His eyes land on his clipboard and stay there for a while, drifting over it. - “...about ...your dreams, perhaps?" He finishes slowly, as if unsure.

"Yes, uh... I... I don't remember t-telling about them... to... you?" You hate yourself for sounding like a scared child. You especially hate that your voice cracks in the middle of it, and you see his eyes widen, just a little, at that.

God, could you be more embarrassing?

"I told you, Dear.” - Another. -”You told me about them last week, didn't you?"

"I-I-I..., um..."

You're unsure of what to say

"I-, ...don't remember." You take a shaky breath, trying to stay calm. You notice the slight tremble of your hands.

"...You seem troubled. Are you quite sure you're alright, Darling?” - He gives a reassuring smile, encouraging you to be confident and tell him if you're not. - “Perhaps, you feel... Hm." He stands up leaving the clipboard on his table. He walks over, as slowly and non-threataningly as he can, putting the back of his hand on your forehead.

"Hm... You don't seem sick. Sweetheart,”- Again. - “maybe we should talk about those dreams. They seem to leave you confused and disoriented."

"Stop."

"Hm?"

"Get off me."

You lean back, away from his hand, and sit up to catch your breath.

He seems perplexed. His hand falls back in place as he gets lost in thought again, looking at you. Expectant. Quiet.

"Am... Am I making you uncomfortable, Dear-"

"Stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop calling me 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and 'love' and 'dear' and-, and... Stop looking at m-me."

He seems to freeze for a second. You're not sure what caused him to do that, but he seems... apathetic. Emotionless. Like he's not there, for just a moment.

He blinks once, swallows, and some resemblance of humanity comes back to him.

"I-... I am making you uncomfortable, is that it." It was more of a statement than a question. "Hm. So you say you don't remember." His eyes wander again. In the end, they come back, and change colour, and you feel like he's 100 metres tall while you're barely an inch.

The lighting didn't change, but his eyes noticeably did. You feel, with every second, more and more anxious, as the eyes keep looking at you, into you, and keep you in place.

Literally.

You cannot move.

You're trying.

The most you can do is flick your eyes betweeen his.

He comes closer now. His hand finds your forehead again, but this time to put a lost lock behind your ear.

He doesn't say anything, simply looks at you. All of you. While you're forced to keep eye contact, his are roaming over the whole of you, taking in every inch, every crevice, every nook and cranny.

As his eyes move the humanity seems to disappear once more and the hand returns to rest on your cheek, then slide down your neck.

As the pressure builds his other hand comes into view, positioning itself on your arm, effectively turning and pushing you down, back how you were before you realised his secret. Because you did, didn't you? You couldn't have just kept playing this little game of pretend between you two. You had to be smart and figure it out.

As you are shoved down back on the récamier, your thoughts are running a million miles an hour. You are panicking and scared and angry but mostly you just wanna run home, curl up under your covers and cry.

The feeling of having forgotten so much makes you wanna break down right there, but even that is denied of you as your "therapist" looms over you, shadowing your face. In the dark, his eyes, that scarlet hue, is so much more noticeable and unsettling.

How do his eyes go from such a pretty black to that mesmerising crimson? That cannot be human.

He leans down, close, close, right over you, so close you cannot see anything anymore but his eyes, boring endlessly into yours.

"Do you know when our last appointment was?"

You think and you feel like you know but you can't actually name the day, date or even time. Not that you could anwser him, not like this.

"Do you feel as if your mind has been working more different than before?"

"Do you feel unsafe, Angel?"

He leans closer, lips grazing your ear as he whispers, even quiter, like a deadly secret.

"Why did you have to ruin our fun, Angel? Wasn't it nice? Pretending? Playing? Why did you have to ruin that, huh, Sweetheart?"

As his voice starts to shake, a little in anger, a little unhinged, a little dangerous, you start trembling through his paralysing gaze.

You still don't remember anything. Not when the last appointment was, not when you told him about the dreams, not when you got here, not where you live, not who he is, not when your own birthday is, not your own name, only Angel, Angel, Angel...

"Does the shadow person ever... touch you? Has he ever talked to you? What did he say? Can you recall? What was it, hm? Tell me Love."

You don't want to. You don't want to you don't want to-

"A-A-Angel..."

"Yes, Love, keep going."

He was suffocating you

His sheer presence.

"A-a... Ang-gel, can y-y-you... can, you-..."

"That's it, keep going, you're doing great, Dear."

"Ange-el, can, can you-u-... can you c-...can y-you come see me-e...?"

"Mhm. There we go. There's a dear."

You feel violated. You feel him climbing on top of you, his weight effortlessly pinning you down even more, as he leans closer. You feel utterly completely absolutely terrifyingly helpless.

"See? In the end, you did remember!" He seems to sound different. He sounds like he's holding something back. Like there's a dam that's about to break and let the water envelop an entire city underwater. Like he's about to swallow you whole.

"Too late now, though. Shame. I was having fun with you. Too bad it had to end so soon. Now, maybe if you look desperate enough, we could do it again sometime? Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Now keep still for me, Angel, this might hurt just a bit. I feel it's only fair i make you pay for wasting my time like that."

[thewildomega]

Second Chance ch. 18

Walking across the dimly lit room he moved to stand directly beside the bed. Looking down at the woman occupying it he took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. Thirteen days, it had been thirteen days and in that time of almost two weeks this had happened. Thinking back to what Marco had just told him he grit his teeth, his hands clenched into fists beside him in rage. 

Two gunshots, one to her thigh and the other her lower back, only a few inches from her spine, just a little further left and she would have been paralyzed. A long, deep cut along her right hip made from a sword no doubt. Many broken and cracked ribs that had been irritated, the skin over them bruised. Her wrists, ankles and neck had been rubbed raw by the cuffs and chains they had locked her in, her wrists being the worst. Those fuckers had starved her as well as beat her, he hadn't needed Marco to tell him she was malnourished, her hollowed out cheeks and lighter weight when he had picked her up telling him she hadn't eaten in Gods knew how long. She was hypothermic when he found her and many blankets now layered over her to keep her body warm. Sitting down on the floor next to the bed he moved his hand to gently stroke her head. Her face was bruised as well, along with a few cuts and scrapes. Her left eye had a dark bruise the whole way around it that disappeared into her hairline. Cracked and busted lips that had thinned out slightly. Her right eye had a dark circle encasing it. All of that but he found her no less beautiful.

Hearing one of the machines beep he looked over to it and quickly hit the button to silence it. Looking back down he blinked when he saw two weak and hazy e/c eyes looking up at him. "Lass..."

Looking up at the man you were sure you would never see again you tried to figure out if you were dead. Going to move, your eyes instantly snapped shut when you felt the pain all over your body. You thought there wasn't supposed to be pain when you died... had you gone to hell? No if you had he wouldn't be here, well unless it was simply to torture you. That was likely it, he was just your imagination. You had most likely been found by those men and now you were simply imagining Ed.

"Lay still darlin'." he spoke to her softly, his hand gently easing her back down. Pulling the blankets back up he couldn't help but glance to her bandage wrapped torso, the sight making him frown.

His voice, Ed's voice. God he sounded so real. It even sounded like he cared. This was torturous. You wanted to die, you just wanted to die. Whimpering you tried getting some kind of moisture into your mouth. "y..you're nnnot r..realll..."

If it wasn't for the quietness of the room and the fact he was so close he probably wouldn't have been able to hear her. "I am real lass, I'm here." he assured her. His heart ached to know that she thought she was imagining him. Had it happened before or did she really believe he wouldn't come for her.

"W..wwhy..."

Licking his lips he looked her in the eyes as she managed to open hers once again. "Because I love you..." Seeing her eyes tear up he furrowed his brows at how dull they looked, not the usual bright, loving look in them he was used to seeing.

"j..justa nother t..trick.." feeling your heart clench you closed your eyes and felt warm tears roll across the bridge of your nose. This had to be hell, what had you done to deserve this?

Shaking his head he felt that pain in his chest and leaned closer to her. Cupping her face in his palm he brushed away her tears with his thumb. "No, no Y/n it isn't."

"y..you sssaid you didn't... you promised bbbut y..you ttthrew me awway.. jussst like everyooone else..." you cried, your voice breaking to match your heart. "Y..you gave meee t..to those men."

It hurt so much to see her cry, worse than any wound he had ever endured. "That wasn't me, it wasn't me lass."  hearing a beeping he glanced up to see her heart rate dropping he swallowed thickly and snapped his eyes back down to her. "Y/n, y/n look at me." he spoke, but she wasn't listening.

"...wasn't r..real... a..joke... a cruuule j..joke..."

She was panicking, her heart rate continuing to go up and down. With all of the blood lose and pain she likely believed none of this was real. Still he had to do something, he had to break her out of it or he might loose her. Quickly standing he made long strides over to the door and opened it, "Bring him here." he barked out to Jozu and saw his son quickly move towards the stairs. Shutting the door back for now he moved back over to the bed and crouched down, cupping her cheek in his hand while stroking her hair with the other. "Lass look at me. You open your eyes and you look at me right now." When her weak, tear filled eyes looked up at him he dipped his head down to hers. "It wasn't me, I swear it wasn't me and I'll prove it to ya." Looking over to the door as it was pushed open he saw Jozu and Vista dragging the man in and grit his teeth, giving a stiff nod.

"Show her." Jozu spoke to the man.

"I... I didn't know they were going to do that to her... I swear I didn't..."

Seeing the man looking to Y/n with furrowed brows Vista unsheathed his sword and placed it to his neck. "Now."

In an instant the man was changing to look just like him. Snapping his eyes back down to Y/n he saw her looking towards the man in confusion, her tired eyes looking between the man and him. "It wasn't me, I would never say those things to you. He used his devil fruit powers to look like me so he could hurt you."

Knitting your brows you breathed in as much as you could. "Wwhy... I...I don't understand..."

"I was paid to miss. I.."

"You don't speak to her." he snarled, looking back to the man. "Get him out of here." he grunted. Watching them take him out he let out a huff through his nose before looking back down to her and softening his face. She still looked so confused and he could tell all of this was making her exhausted. "I'll explain later, right now you need to rest." Watching her tired eyes try to stay open he pet her head. "Sleep my darlin'."

"E..enola..."

"The child is safe. You're safe." he assured her, her eyes already closing.

"w..will y..you.."

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart. Now get some rest." Kissing her cheek he watched her lashes stop fluttering as she gave up fighting sleep. Watching over her for a bit he glanced to her monitors to see all her vitals back to normal and grinned softly. Petting her hair he dipped his head to kiss her forehead before standing. He was still covered blood, both hers and that of those pirates. He had made the captain suffer for everything he had done to his Y/n before taking care of the rest of the crew along with everyone on the island that had anything to do with the slave trade. Needless to say he was in dire need of a shower and clean clothes. With one last glance down at her he moved to go wash up, leaving the door open just incase.

.............................

She slept the next two days and not once did he leave her. Marco had come in at one point to heal her some more making him feel bad for how exhausted his son looked. He knew he had pushed himself as much as possible to keep her alive the day before. Demanding that he too go rest he continued watching over her. Zella had taken over Marco's role of giving her pain medicine to help her rest and changing bandages with his help. Every time he looked over her battered body he felt another stab of guilt.

Looking through pictures on her phone as he sat on the couch he had pulled over beside the bed he chuckled at the video. It was her and that boy, Keith. They looked to be younger in the video, maybe late teens or so. He could tell they were in the bar but no one else was there. Watching as the two went about trying to smack each other with the what looked to be wooden poles he huffed out when the boy swung to smack her ass but grinned as his lass swiftly swung the pole and knocked his feet out from under him. She seemed to have decent form, when she was fully healed and ready he would see about teaching her how to use a sword. His woman was no pushover by any means, she was a fighter. Even as injured and weak as she was she had managed to take out two of those pirates on her own. While he never planned on allowing harm to come to her again it wouldn't hurt for him to teach her some basic skills.

Izo had knocked on the door at one point before coming inside to bring him something to eat.

"How's the girl?"

"Good. Marco gave her a check up and concluded she is in perfect health."

"That's good to hear." he sighed, drinking his tea. It was hard for him to get the urge to eat when his starving lass was right beside.

"She's been asking about Y/n a lot. When I was giving her a bath she told me about their time on that ship." Seeing his father's eyes drag away from the woman currently sleeping in the bed and look to him he took a deep breath. "She told me about how when they first got her Y/n was already down there. She said that Y/n stopped them from hurting her and because of it they beat her."

Closing his eyes he clenched his teeth.

"The girl, Enola, she feels very guilty about it." Izo told him then grinned a bit. "She told all of us at supper last night that Y/n was her guardian angel."  

Chuckling softly he looked back to his woman and smiled fondly.

The following day she woke again and this time he had to quickly stop her from moving again. Tossing the book he had been reading to the side he moved to sooth her. "No, no, no lass. You have to lay still or you'll rip your stitches."

Groaning you tried pushing his hands away, "Back hurts." you managed to get out and heard him sigh before he was gently lifting you and helping you sit up.

Stuffing the pillows behind her to help her lounge back he saw her eyes closed in a grimace and frowned. "I'll get Marco to come give ya some more pain medicine."

"No." Shaking your head you finally opened your eyes to look at him.

"Darlin'."

"I'm fine. I don't want to sleep anymore right now."

"Oh not this again." he said with a roll of his eyes. "Stubborn ass woman."

"I thought that's what you liked about me." you said with a grin.

Moving to sit on the edge of the bed by her legs he looked down at her. "Not when your health is involved." he grumbled, untangling the lines going into her arm.

"I'm not going to die from being sore."

Flinching he looked down to her hands. "Let's not talk about you dying."

Hearing how low his voice had went you took one of his hands in yours and felt him give it a small squeeze before his eyes lifted back to yours. Remembering everything you blinked slowly "I rested, now tell me. Why did all this happen? Who paid that man to do that and why?"

Taking a deep breath he continued stroking her hand with his thumb. "It all starts with a woman named Bakkin..." Telling her everything, all of it he watched her eyes stay on him. She didn't say anything for a time but then she asked the question he knew was coming.

"Your sure he's not..."

"He's not my son Y/n. I promise you he isn't. I never slept with her. I'm no virgin lass but I told you the truth, I've never fathered any children, that I am sure of."  Seeing her nod he searched her eyes, wanting to make sure she believed him. Once he was done telling her all of it he licked his lips. "I'm so sorry Y/n. This is all my fault. I promised you I would never let you get hurt and then this happens."

Shaking your head some you looked up into his sorrow filled eyes. " 's not your fault..."

"It is and don't you try to tell me it isn't." he said in a rough voice. Staring down at her he felt that knot form in his throat. "You were dead. I held your lifeless body in my arms lass. I... I just knew I had lost you...." he spoke, his voice thick with emotion. "How can I ask you to marry me when I failed you? A husband is supposed to protect his wife, take care of her..."

"And you think y...you don't?" you asked looking up into his eyes. Taking a deep breath you tried to summon all of your strength to tell him what you wanted to say. "Ed you have been looking after me since you showed up on that damn shore..." Seeing him go to interrupt you, you narrowed your eyes, "No. I'm talkin'. You hush and listen."

"Givin' the captain orders again lass?" He asked with a small grin.

"Right now I'm the captain... you can be the cabin boy."

Not being able to stop the bark of laughter from leaving his throat he smiled softly and looked into her eyes, seeing the light he loved so much returning to them. "Alright then Miss Captain I'm listenin'."

"You didn't fail me." breathing deeply you felt your ribs ache but refused to show pain. "Couples that are meant to be will go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out stronger."

Chuckling softly he looked deeply into her eyes, "I thought it was supposed to be the old folks who give the life quotes."

Smiling you looked up to him and raised your trembling hand that he wasn't holding out of the blanket and tugged on one of his golden locks to pull his lips down to yours.

After nearly two weeks of being away from her, to kiss her again was a blessing. Sighing he held her hand in his, gently brushing her bruised knuckles with his thumb. Pulling away after a moment he pecked her cheek and brushed her nose with his. "I love you."

"I love you too." you said softly, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of his warm lips, his hand petting your head. "Don't keep me in the dark okay? If something is going on tell me."  you said and felt him nod his head.

"Yes my dear. I won't make the mistake again." he promised her and felt her lips peck his again. Looking over her face and admiring her eyes that looked tired but had that shine in them again he grinned. "You're so beautiful."

"And you're lying through your teeth." you scoffed with a grin.

"Am not."

"I feel like I got hit by a train and I know I probably look like a mummy wrapped up in all these bandages." you huffed, glancing down to your wrapped up torso and arms.

Smiling he shook his head. "Yer always beautiful to me darlin'. Besides as much as I hate seeing you hurt, those bandages don't leave much to imagination." he said with a tilt of his head, dropping his eyes to the wrapped mounds on her chest. Feeling her smack his side weakly and call him a perv he chuckled. "In my defense I was supposed to have already been able to see them. along with the rest of that gorgeous body."

Rolling your eyes slightly you couldn't help but grin at just being back with your true love, "Yea well you might not be that satisfied once you do, their not that impressive." you told him honestly, knowing that with you not eating your 'girls' had dropped in size as well.

"Oh I can not wait to prove you wrong." he grinned confidently, leaning forward to kiss her. Hearing the small knock before the door opened again he felt her pull away and growled as he turned to look at Marco who was standing there with that guilty look again. "I'm starting to think yer doing this on purpose boy."

"I'm..." Letting out a long sigh the doctor looked to the woman when she told his father to leave him alone. "I'm glad to see you awake Y/n."

Moving out of the way while his son went about checking over Y/n he moved to start a bath for her, having seen the desperation in her eyes when she asked Marco if she could take a shower. Not too long later did Zella come in to help her bathe. Leaving the room for a bit he walked out onto the deck for some fresh air and to assess where they were. The little girl had told them she was from Hand island and if he would guess they were about another two days sail from there. From what Rakuyo had told him the island had been taken over by some Marine commodore after his 'death'. He was a apparently forcing all the males to join the marines, threating their families to make sure they complied. He wasn't much looking forward to going back there but he had to return the child to her family.

Looking across to the little girl he saw her attempting to play cards with Blamenco and Jiru. Remembering what Izo had told him he felt his lips lift up a small amount. It really came of no surprise to him that his Y/n had been willing to give her life for the child, nor the little girl being so taken with her. There was no doubt in his mind that Y/n would make a wonderful mother but he wouldn't dwell on those thoughts. Children had not been a conversation they had had yet and he didn't even know if she wanted them. While he wanted nothing more than to have a child of his own he wouldn't force her if it was something she didn't want. Still it was a conversation they needed to have, especially before their wedding night. Now that he thought of it they hadn't even spoke about sex yet. He knew she was a virgin or rather he assumed she was based on the fact she had never even kissed anyone and she turned as red as a beet every time he made a comment about it. Crossing his arms over his chest he let out a sigh, it was a topic for a later time, right now he wanted her to focus on healing and besides they had plenty of time for little ones.

.......................................

Once she had finished her bath he had walked into the room to see her standing by the window, wearing nothing but his shirt. Her thigh had been rebandaged and no doubt the rest of her injuries as well. It still angered him to know his lass had been forced to endure so much pain. No matter what she said he knew he would feel guilt for the rest of his life for failing to protect her. Although knowing that she had done all that to save that little girl made him feel proud. He was honored to soon be able to have such a caring, selfless woman as his wife.

Noticing how much larger his shirt was on her he knit his brows, the thing was like a baggy dress on her as it was and now it looked as though someone had just wrapped a bed sheet around her. Walking up behind her he couldn't help but worry about how frail she looked. Even being fifteen feet in height she was still so much smaller than him, not only just in height but overall. When he had lifted her up he had been able to easily tell the difference in her weight. Now looking at her he was afraid he would snap her if he hugged her to tightly.

Placing a hand on her back as he came up to stand beside her he saw her eyes look up to him, a soft smile gracing her lips. "You shouldn't be standing yet, you lost a lot of blood." he told her but she only hummed and looked back out the window. 'Stubborn woman'. At least if she did go to fall he was here to catch her. Glancing down to her neck he saw the necklace back there and tilted his head. Zella had given it to him when he had come back to the ship and Marco was finishing up with her. His daughter had informed him how Y/n had been holding onto it so tightly in her left hand and it wasn't until they had pried open her fingers that they had found it there. "You kept it, even though it seemed like I had said all those horrible things." he spoke in a low voice.

Seeing him looking down to the necklace you grinned softly, your fingers moving to it on their own. "Of course I did."

"Why?" She hadn't taken any of her clothes that he had bought her or any of the money he had stashed in the dresser. She hadn't even taken any food or other provisions but she had taken the simple necklace he had made her. It wasn't even anything special, just a piece of sea glass and a shell on a leather cord. f she had tried to sell it someone would likely laugh in her face.

Looking down at the yellow glass you rubbed your thumb over the smooth surface. "Because it was the only thing I had left of you." you answered honestly, keeping your head down as you recalled how heartbroken you had been. At the time you had been sure that your necklace would be the only thing you would have that would remind you of your lost love. The only thing to prove he had been real, that for a time you had been close to having someone love you, want you, or at least pretend they had.

Furrowing his brows he looked from it and then to her, feeling a small clench in his chest. Rubbing her back he felt her sway a bit and took her hand in his to lead her back to bed.

"No not the bed..." you grumbled.

"Yes the bed." Helping her into the bed he pulled the covers over her legs just as a knock sounded at the door. Bidding the person inside he saw it was Izo again with a tray of food.

"Brought you something to eat Y/n, nothing too extravagant I'm afraid, Marco said it's best to start you off with something bland." he told the woman as he moved over to place the tray down on her lap.

Looking to the man as he walked over you gave him a smile. "Thank you Izo."

"Of course." was all he said before leaving the two alone again.

Seeing her looking at the food with an uncertain face he sighed. "I know you're probably not hungry darlin' but you have to eat something."

Knowing he was right you reached out for the bowl of rice porridge. Only being able to eat about half of it before getting full you placed it down but he was quick to lift it back up and scoop some onto the spoon.

"You're not done yet." Seeing her go to speak he looked at her pointily, "Y/n eat." pushing the spoon towards her lips she leaned back and groaned that she was full. Sighing he tapped his foot and narrowed his eyes before getting an idea and lifting his chin. "You eat five more bites and I'll take you out onto the deck for a bit." Without a moment's hesitation she leaned forward and took the spoon into her mouth. Once he had fed her four more big spoonful's he grabbed his jacket that one of the crew hand managed to wash her blood out of and wrapped it around her before lifting her up into his arms.

Wrapping your arms around his neck as he took you outside you breathed in the fresh air deeply, even when it caused your ribs to throb. Blinking at the afternoon sun you looked over the deck to see all of Ed's sons and..."

"Y/n!" Enola yelled as she ran over to the giant holding her friend, Unknowingly making everyone else look to her as well.

Seeing his love smile down at the little girl he grinned. Moving over to sit her down on one of the larger chairs he tugged his jacket tighter around her small frame and saw the child quickly climb up to sit with her.

Wincing a little when Enola wrapped her arms around your neck to hug you, you saw Ed move to pull her away and say something but quickly took his hand and gave him a smile telling him it was okay.

"I'm sorry Y/n I... I didn't want you to get hurt I..."

Hearing her crying you rubbed her back. "It's alright. It wasn't your fault and I don't want you to think it was okay." you told her and felt her nod in your shoulder. When she pulled back you brushed her now clean hair out of her face and gave her a smile. Seeing her look up to your beloved you glanced over to him as he crouched down beside the chair you were in.

"I haven't had the chance to formally meet you yet little one, mind tellin' me your name?"

"Enola." she told him with a shy smile.

Humming he smiled at her, "That's a pretty name."

"What's your name?" she asked sitting in Y/n's lap and playing with the damp woman's hair like she had done on the ship.

"Edward." he told her with a grin.

"Are you the Captain?"

"Me? No I'm just the cabin boy." he said and saw all of his sons look to him like he had grown another head but felt Y/n smack his shoulder and call him a 'smartass' making him smile largely.

After being introduced to all of Ed's sons you found yourself being lifted up again after Zella had come to take Enola who had fallen asleep in your arms. Looking to Ed you saw him give you a grin and tell you it was time for you to rest again. While you would have complained you were actually really tired and simply laid your head on his shoulder. Almost in the cabin you knit your brows when you noticed something shining in the water a ways away from the ship. "What's that?"

Surprised when she didn't give him a fuss he carried her back to the cabin but stopped when he heard her speak. Humming he glanced down o her and then out to where she was looking. "What's what lass?"

Looking over the water you tried to spot it again but it was gone. "There was something glowing in the water."

Hearing this he turned towards the sea and scanned over the dark water but didn't see anything. Using his haki he didn't feel anything either. Noticing her still looking over the water with tired eyes he inhaled and brushed back her hair that was blowing in the wind. "Probably just a school of fish lass."

Nodding you blinked and felt him turn back towards the cabin. Glancing over his shoulder you saw it again, two glowing blue dots. Thinking it was just your mind you rested your head on his shoulder.

Tucking her in and giving her a kiss he went to take a quick shower. Once he was out he walked over to the bed and saw her eyes closed. Thinking she was sleeping he had leaned down to give her forehead a kiss and pull the blankets up over her but to his surprise she had wrapped her arm around his bicep and gave a weak tug.

"Sleep with me." you said in a tired voice.

"No lass, you're still too injured and I might..."

"Please. I miss your warmth." you whined. Forcing your heavy eyes open you looked up at him, begging him silently.

Looking down into the big doe eyes he sighed. She really did have him wrapped around her finger, and she didn't even know it. He would give her the world if she asked for it.  Pushing his hands under her he gently eased her over some and moved into the bed beside her.

As much as it pained you, you used all your remaining strength to cuddle up to him as much as possible. Feeling his arm wrap around you and stroke your upper arm you sighed comfortably and drifted off into a peaceful sleep for the first time in two weeks.

.............................

"Pops. Pops wake up."

Waking with a start he snapped his eyes open and looked up to see Marco standing there. Something off made him turn his head sharply and glance beside him to see Y/n gone. Feeling around for her just incase he concluded the bed was empty and felt his heart hammer in his chest. Looking back to his son he opened his mouth to speak when Marco placed a hand to his own lips.

"Come on."

Standing quickly he followed the blond out of the dark cabin and out onto the moonlit deck. "Marco where is y..." Seeing the smaller man pointing out he followed his finger and felt his breath catch in his throat. In an instant he felt his feet move for him and he went to hurry to her but was stopped by someone grabbing his wrist. Looking down he saw Namur standing there. Now that he looked across the deck he noticed the rest of the crew was there as well, only Zella and the little girl missing. When Namur shook his head in warning, his eyes serious, he breathed heavily and looked back to his woman, fear filling him.

She was standing there, on the edge of the deck, right behind the railing. Even though it was chilly out she only wore his large button up shirt, the white material and her hair blowing in the wind. She didn't even seem to notice any of them, her eyes focused on the thing in front of her, the thing that was making his blood run cold. It was like no sea king he had ever seen before with it's blueish-silver scales and glowing blue eyes that were starring at his love. He didn't know wither to describe it as a dragon or a serpent. It's sharp teeth were larger than her whole body and he could make out rows of them from here, the things seeming to reflect the moon. Two giant horns came backwards off of it's head and down it's neck he could see many fins a few shades darker than the rest of him with black veining. Overall the thing was huge, had to be five times the size of the ship.

His heart beat so hard in his chest he was sure the beast could hear it. However it's eyes stayed on Y/n as she stood in front of it with not terror on her face, not fright but wonder. Seeing her small hand lift and move towards the monster he stiffened and took a step towards her but again felt his son's grab him. To his surprise the beast did not consume her but lowered it's head to allow her to touch it's long snout. Seeing her hand rub the creature he watched it's eyes close, a sigh leaving it's nostrils that was so powerful it fanned over the deck of the ship. He heard mummers along the crew, everyone wondering the same thing as him, just what the hell was going on?

She just stood there for a long moment, the monster seeming to bow it's head to her. As it's fins started glowing as bright as it's eyes he knit his brows, was it preparing for an attack? Snapping his eyes back up to Y/n when he noticed her form sway a little he saw her lidded eyes fluttering. Seeing her knees go to buckle he moved forward, shrugging off his sons hands when they attempted to stop him. Getting about five feet away from her the creature's eyes snapped back open and looked to him. Starring back until he reached her he finally broke from it's gaze to look down at her. Gently moving his arms around her he felt her trembling slightly and saw her lidded eyes lift to look at him. When her knees finally gave out he lifted her up in his arms and cradled her to his bare chest. Seeing her exhausted eyes looking up he followed them and saw the beast now focused back on her. Without another moments hesitation it turned it's massive head and went back into the sea, the only proof being the rocking of the ship as the waves slammed against the side. Starring out over the dark water he saw it's tail disappear and then it was gone.

"What the fuck was that?" Blenheim asked.

"A sea king?" Atmos questioned.

"I ain't never seen a sea king that big before."  Kingdew added.

"I think it was a Ceirean but their supposed to be just a legend. A story told to children back home." Nemur said gruffly.

"Well whatever it is I hope it doesn't come back."

"Croin."

Hearing her soft voice he looked down and saw her still looking out over the sea. "What lass?"

"His name... it's Croin."

"And how do you know that?" Jozu huffed out.

"He told me." you said finally breaking your eyes from the water and looking up to meet Ed's yellow eyes.

"Pops' lady speaks to sea monsters." Jiru gasped.

"Well in that case Y/n would you mind askin' your friend to not scare the livin' hell out of us?" Curiel asked in a deep voice.

He said nothing only looked back into her eyes as she stared up into his. Licking his lips he turned towards the cabin. "Everyone back to bed, Rakuyo you're on watch."

"Alright Pops."

"How the hell we supposed to sleep after that?" Fossa grumbled.

Taking her back to their bed he set her down on it and then took her upper arms in his hands, "What the hell were you thinking? After everything that just happened you go and... how did you even get out of bed without me knowing? Why did you go out there?"

Looking up at him you saw his yellow eyes searching yours, fear and worry clear in them. "He called me."

"What do you mean he called you?"

"I was sleeping and then I heard someone calling my name. I thought it was you at first but it wasn't. I tried to go back to sleep but it... I don't know how to explain it."

"Try." he said in a deep voice.

"It just sorta beckoned me. Before I knew it I was out of bed and on the deck. I don't even remember how I got out there I just was."

"Why didn't you wake me up? Do you know how dangerous that was? How foolish? That thing could have killed you, hell it could have killed all of us. You can't just..."

Curling up some and lowering your eyes when they started to fill with tears you felt your heart constrict. "I..I'm sorry. I..I didn't mean to...I didn't even know wh... I'm sorry..." you whispered. You had messed up. You had messed up and now he was mad at you. You had endangered everyone, if something would have happened it would have all been your fault. He was right to be mad. Something could have happened to him, his sons, to Zella and Enola. What if he tossed you away for real this time? He couldn't have someone around that would put his family in jeopardy.

She was crying, he had made her cry. In an instant he was releasing her arms. He had let his emotions get the better of him and because of it he had hurt her. Hearing her whisper that she was sorry as her small frame curled up and her eyes stare down in what he assumed was guilt he felt that clenching in his heart. She had said she didn't even know what had happened, she hadn't meant to do it and still he had scolded her for it. After everything that had just happened he knew both of their emotions were still raw but he also noticed that she was quick to shut down when she thought he was angry or disappointed with her. He knew from past experiences with his sons that it was from her past. More than likely she always assumed the worst, that he would abandon her because she had not done something to his liking. Now after what had just happened he would bet that those fears were even worse.

Closing his eyes he let out a deep sigh and moved to sit on the bed and gently pull her into his lap. He could tell she was tense and so he wrapped his arms around her and placed his hand on her head to make her lay it on his chest. "No lass, I'm sorry. I was worried and afraid and I let it cloud my mind. I just... I can't lose you and seeing you so close to that thing... I thought the worst. I had no right to take it out on you though and I'm sorry darlin'." Feeling her relax a little but not look up at him he kissed the crown of her head, "Please don't cry sweetheart."

Nuzzling into his chest you kept your eyes closed, trying to suck up as much of his comforting warmth and smell as you could. Listening to the beating of his strong heart you breathed out a soft sigh.

They just sat there silently in the dark room for a time. He could tell by her silence that she was still upset. When he heard her let out a yawn he sighed and held her with one arm while he moved her to lay down on the bed. Tugging up the blankets over them as he settled beside her he kissed her brow. "Goodnight lass. I love you."

"Love you too." you said softly.

Draping his arm over her he stroked her arm and felt her relax into his front as she feel back asleep. Leaving his arm there he closed his eyes, if she went to get up again he would know.

[writingtoforgetreality]

Happy Birthday - The Devil´s Daughter Chapter One (Lucifer Morningstar x Daughter!Reader)

[Lucifer-Masterlist], [The Devil´s Daughter-Masterlist]

Next Chapter 

Summary: Being the Devil´s daughter was not particularly fun but it was something you could not change, unfortunately. What would you do on your birthday when you finally had the chance to leave heaven? Leave everything behind and start over on Earth?

Words: 1,702

Warnings: Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 spoilers, nothing too crazy yet (pretty much introducing everything), Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, God, (Y/A) = your age, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Heaven. Everyone has their own imagination of this place. Of how beautiful it is. Some people believe while others don´t. You, though, you did believe in heaven. How could you not? You had been there your entire life. Why, you ask? Well, you were an angel and angels were supposed to be up there. You were not an ordinary angel, though. What made you special was your father. The Devil. Yes, you heard that right. The daughter of the rebel, someone who was “disliked” by pretty much every single existing angel. We don´t need to talk about his reputation. Even though you had never met your father, you had been excluded from all angelic doings. Therefore, what other people saw as paradise, you saw as hell. Ironic, wasn´t it?

In all your years of existing, you had met a total of three other angels and, the one and only, God himself. Apparently, nobody else wanted to be close to you. You were the devil´s daughter, you did not have the best reputation either but you had never hurt anyone and never would. As you can imagine, being pretty much alone most of the time was rather boring. Once a day, Micheal came by to keep you company for a while. The two of you were close, he always made sure you felt comfortable and never judged you by your origin. It was not something you could change anyway. On lucky days, all three angels, archangels to be precise, were at your chambers. Mostly you guys chatted but sometimes you even had game nights, your absolute favorite. To say you were thankful for Michael, Gabriel and Raphael would be understatement. Without them, you would have gone insane ages ago. To you, heaven felt like a prison. You were not allowed anywhere but your chambers. “(Y/N), it´s for your own good, trust me.” God had told you this sentence way too many times and you were starting to grow tired of it.

While you were alone, the one thing you loved doing was watching Earth and humanity. How they lived so freely without any restrictions. It was no secret that you wanted to leave heaven as soon as you would turn (Y/A). By then, you would be allowed to go anywhere you liked, without God telling you what to do. Especially Michael listened to your complaints and wishes closely. You were sure you had his support since he had told you many times before. One person you did not tell. God. Maybe because you knew his answer. Maybe because he would try everything to keep you up here, even if you had not felt happy in years. Humans did not know you were the Devil´s daughter, your reputation down there would be just fine. At least that was what you had told yourself. It did not matter anyway, your mind was set. Your birthday was in one day. One day and you would finally be free. Away from the negative energy heaven and its angels were giving you. You knew you were about to make the right decision even if it meant that you disappointed God. But this was different from what your father did, right? Rebelling meant something completely different. You simply wanted to feel free and you knew you could never achieve that if you stayed in heaven. Would God hate you forever, like Lucifer?

“You know there´s literally no need for you to knock. We´ve talked about that, Mike.” you chuckled. Mike. That was the nickname you gave Michael a while ago. He seemed to like it so you kept calling him so.

“Yeah but what if you´re changing.” he entered, wearing his smirk. His appearance made you smile. Only a few more hours until you would be gone. Looking at him made you realize that, maybe, you would miss one thing. One angel. Him. He always had your back, told you stories about your father. Because of him, you knew you were nothing like Lucifer. Everything he had done? You used to be disgusted by sharing one bloodline. Michael, though, he helped you through all of your dark phases, telling you that you were so much better. Could do so much better. He knew you were no Devil. So did Gabriel and Raphael but Michael was another story. As mentioned, he meant a big deal to you, kind of being the father you always wished you had.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said you were busy today?” confusion was shown all over your face.

“Can´t miss my favorite´s birthday now, can I?” Micheal answered, stepping closer to your bed were you were currently sitting.

“Yeah...the big (Y/A), huh?” your eyes were focused on your hands in your lap. All of a sudden, you felt a wave of guilt hitting you. Micheal was far older than you yet had never left heaven. And you, you saw the first chance and were about to leave right away.

“You´re leaving, aren´t you?” you could feel his eyes on you but you did not dare to look at him. You would break down, something you definitely did not want to do.

“I never made a secret out of it.”

“Except for Dad.” Michael interjected.

“Except for him.” a door opening made the both of you look up.

“Father, we just talked about you.”

“Mike!” you glared at him.

“(Y/N), do you really think I don´t know what you´re planning?” God gave you a look of what you read as sympathy.

“But I never-”

“(Y/N). I´m God, did you forget that? I knew you were up to this for as long as you, trust me.” he made his way over to Michael and you, stopping right in front of you.

“You are mad.” again, your eyes drifted to your lap. You felt exposed in front of him.

“I`m not. I just want you to know that you will never feel this type of safety on Earth. Humans are...well, humans. You don´t belong there, (Y/N). You belong in heaven, like me, like Michael.” God tried reasoning. You were right, he wanted to change your mind.

“I might not be as safe but at least I would have freedom. Space to move. Not just one single chamber for eternity.” by now, tears of frustration were forming at the corner of your (Y/E/C) eyes. How could he be so convinced of himself? He had no idea of how you felt being locked up.

“(Y/N), sweetie, he just wants to keep you safe.” Michael said, putting one of his arms around your shoulders, something he did to calm you down.

“Are you serious, Mike? I thought you supported my plan? Have you been lying to me?” you shook his arm off of you, looking at him with a hurtful expression.

“No, never. I would never lie to you. (Y/N), just think this through.” Michael changed sides right in front of your eyes.

“Mike, you know I want that. You should, too.” by the last part you made sure to look straight at God.

“(Y/N), you´re special. Nobody will-”

“MAYBE I DON´T WANNA BE SPECIAL!” you screamed. This was the first time you ever raised your voice but you were so frustrated, so angry, that you did not know what else to do. Both, God and Michael were taken aback by your sudden outburst.

“All my life, you told me I was special. Well, for instance,  I wouldn´t say being Satan´s daughter is special when I have never met him! I´m an angel with wings like everyone else and I happen to be Lucifer´s offspring BUT that doesn´t make me special, okay? What´s special about being in my chambers all day long, doing literally nothing but daydreaming? I´m leaving and you won´t be able to change my mind. I´ll be gone soon then you don´t have to worry about me anymore.” by the time you finished, you were facing the wall away from Michael and God.

“If you are leaving, don´t think about coming back. I gave you everything. Kept you and your not so special wings safe and that´s what I get in return? I´ll see you when you´re begging on your knees in front of heaven´s doors. Happy Birthday, (Y/N).” and with that, God left.

“Sure, special wings. Just because they´re not black like the others.” you mumbled under your breath. When you turned around, you still saw Michael sitting on your bed, looking at you expectantly. He did not leave with God and you were not quite sure why he was still with you after everything he just said.

“What?” you questioned after the staring became too uncomfortable for you.

“Just know that I still support you. Go to Earth, have adventures. If you ever need anything...I´m only one prayer away. Happy Birthday, sweetie. See you soon.” he was about to turn towards your door when you ran into his arms, hugging him with tears in your eyes.

“Mike? Thank you for everything you´ve ever done for me. You were the only one who accepted me from the first moment on. My wings didn´t matter to you, my origin didn´t matter to you. I mattered and I am forever grateful for that. I´d be happy if you visited me once, Mike. You´ll always be welcome to stay with me. Besides, you´ve never been to Earth either. It could be fun.” your eyes shined when you looked at his face, releasing the hug.

“It could be, yeah. Bye, (Y/N), take care of yourself.” before you had the chance to say anything back, you found yourself alone in your chambers. This was it. The moment you had waited (Y/A) years for. A few more minutes and your life could finally begin. Really begin. Without anyone judging you by your wings, by your father. Just (Y/N). You were ready for it. What city would you visit first? Paris? London? No. There had always been a city you were drawn to. Ironically, it was called the City of Angels aka Los Angeles. LA. Name it as you want. That would be your first stop. What would be waiting for you there? You were eager to find it out.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (08/24/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @fandomqueen2003, @natashaashleymarvelromanoff, @severewobblerlightdragon, @tenderlyunlikelyexpert, @zoseph, @comicbucky-s, @dad-ee-drea (let me know if you want to be tagged <3)

[ahsxual]

Romantic Anniversary

Pairing: Patrick Verona x Reader

Summary: It's your birthday and Pat has prepared everything for your day be perfect.

Genre: Fluff Fluff and more fluff

Word count: 1,4k

A/N: This one is with Pat 🥰 He's sooo cute, I want to hug and give him kisses all over his face so badly 🥺 Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

Patrick Verona. The name of the boy that makes sure you are happy everyday, the one who makes sure you feel loved every moment, the one who loves you as much as you love him. By his side, you feel so safe, so alive, and so lucky to have him, to have someone who cares for you so deeply and doesn't give up on you. Never.

He is seen as a rebellious and pathetic anti-social guy whose middle's name was trouble. Everyone, except you. And that's why he loves to assure you that he's so greatful for everything you have done for him, by loving you every way possible: from taking care of you when you're sick and wiping your tears away on the hardest moments, to offering you presents and being with you whenever he's available. However, today was a different day. A special and unique day. Why? Well, that's simple: because it was your day. The day where an angel and a precious kind soul was born to rescue him from the merciless darkness of the world. He wanted everything to be perfect for you: although he didn't care about school, he surely was way too perfectionist whenever you were the subject of the matter.

While you were with some friends during the day, reserving the entire night only for your dedicated and loving boyfriend, Patrick was setting all the things he bought for your birthday party: he bought balloons, your favorite cake with your cutest picture together on it, your favorite t-shirt and sweater, two tickets for the premiere movie that you wanted so badly to see and two rings with each others names on it, making your relationship official.

Saying that he was excited and anxious wasn't enough to describe how he really felt. He couldn't wait to see your big bright smile planted on your face, proudly knowing that he was the one responsible for it.

Hours passed and he was checking for the hundrenth time if everything was placed correctly, until your front door opened:

"Baabe, I'm home! I'm all yours now! " you said while putting your bag on the wooden hanger. You got no response, however you didn't worry too much about it once you saw all the red petals and lit candles that were dimming the dark space, leading to your bedroom. You slowly followed the lit path ahead of you, admiring how beautiful the view was.

When you reached your bedroom's door, you saw several red velvet hearts all over and white letters of the same material glued to it, saying: "Only allowed for my gorgeous goodness and future wife". Instinctively your eyes became wet and your vision turved from your happy tears that eventually shamelessly appeared, but you decided to wipe them and play his game instead.

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to know if I'm allowed to come in! " you spoke loudly, wanting to your not-yet-seen boyfriend to hear you.

"Identify yourself, miss." you heard him respond from the other side of the room. You smiled at this, remembering instantly how naturally you communicate, understand and joked around with each other with such little effort.

"My name is Y/n L/n, sir." after this, the door opened, revealing your lovely boyfriend whom owned a smile bigger than the sky and brighter than every single star on it.

"I've been waiting for you, my love. Make yourself at home." he joked, mimicking the gentleman of the old romance movies.

You couldn’t resist him anymore, so you immediately jumped on his arms and started kissing him hard, not caring on letting your emotions take control over you.

"Woow, someone was eager to see me, huh?" he moved a piece of your hair behind your ear so he could see and kiss you properly.

"You can't imagine how much, big boy." you said before kissing him again, this time slower yet passionately. When you pulled away, he placed you on the ground, giving you a last quick kiss before showing you the rest of his surprises: there was a small table on the corner of your room with your cake on it and several balloons of your favorite color around, attached to the table; on it were some red petals as well around the cake and some papers glued to it, all of them saying the reasons why he fell in love with you: "you helped and cared about me when no one else did", "you never believed any of those rumors about me and never judged me", "you always were kind, gentle, attentive and so so beautiful to me", "you are so silly like me, yet that's just one more reason to love you more, if that's even possible" and so many others. It was outstanding and simply perfect. When you got closer, you saw your favorite picture of yourselves printed on your cake.

"Oh my God Pat, this one was taken on our first date!" you said feeling nostalgic of one of your most memorable moments together. "You-you did all this? For me??" you could already feel new tears starting to form in your eyes.

"This and so much more." he promised, kneeling right after while still making eye contact with your overwhelmed eyes. You were confused, yet so excited to see what more he had planned for you. He took a small black velvet box inside of his back pocket and opened it to you, only to reveal two silver rings with your names on it: you were speechless by this.

"Pat, y-you didn't need to-" you couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"Shhh don't say that, of course I needed. And wanted it too." he then removed the one that had his name on it, before grabbing your hand delicately. "May I?" he questioned, waiting for your permission first.

"Of course, baby!" he was so happy and proud of himself to know you've reacted the way he was hoping for: his plan was going great so far. He slowly put the ring on your finger, while admiring how beautiful it was on you. "Well, I guess now it's my turn." you offered, after eyeing mindlessly how the ring looked on your finger. This gesture was way much more than you ever expected.

"Go ahead, sweet cheeks." he loved to call you every possible nickname, memorizing which one made your smile grew bigger. "The next ones will be put on our wedding." he said confidently, while looking at you as if you were the most marvelous woman alived.

"I'm so happy, Patrick! This is so, so perfect, I can't even believe you made all of this!"

"Why can't you? Are you underestimating me?" He complained, pretending to be offended.

"Of course not, silly! I just... I just didn't expect you to be so romantic." you teased while putting your arms around his neck, only to be gently grabbed by your waist in return.

"What can I say... I like to impress and show my princess what I'm capable of." he smiled once again, before kissing you.

"Oh by the way, it's such a shame that we will have to eat that delicious cake! I don't want to ruin the picture!! " he laughed at this, kissing you this time on the forehead instead.

"Well, it seems like we have to order more cakes like this one than, but with another picture." now was your turn to laugh.

The rest of the night was spent the best way possible: you opened the rest of the presents he had for you, saw your favorite movies together while eating your favorite snacks, danced with him, gossiped about your secrets that weren't already revealed while he told you about his, had pillow talks while he cuddled with you and listened so carefully to your opinions about several subjects... you couldn't be any happier. This was all you wished for: to spend your day by the side of your soulmate, your lover, your best friend. The only one who truly understands you... that night was sufficient proof that he was the right one and the only one for you.

[onfreckledwings]

the taming of wild things.

the second of who knows how many for my “dean winchester deserved better” series. ♥️

In all his years on the road, Dean’s only seen the Milky Way twice. But it was never like this.

Stepping out onto the porch at Harvelle’s, he leans against one of the posts supporting the roof and crosses his arms.

Heaven’s night sky is nothing short of remarkable. Dean can see the entirety of the Milky Way with thousands of tiny diamonds studded across the ink-black canvas. The galaxy has a pinkish-purple hue, and Dean can every so often spot a shooting star.

He doesn’t need to wish on them anymore.

The wind blows gently around him, and it feels like a caress across his skin. He closes his eyes for a moment, and takes a deep, cleansing breath: the air is crisp, pungent with pine, woodsmoke, and a touch of rain in the winds.

Dean tilts his head back so that it’s resting against the post. It’s still buzzing from the wine and the laughter and tears from the ongoing party inside the roadhouse.

He feels a pang of something he can’t quite place in the space between his heart and gut.

He misses Sam.

Something resembling worry or guilt begins to creep into his belly; unfurling behind his ribs and spreading through his limbs, leaving a tremble in its wake.

He wishes his brother could be with him now, just for a moment. Or at least somehow assure him that Dean’s alright. And Dean wants to make sure that Sam is too.

“He is.”

Dean’s eyes snap open and glances over his shoulder towards the voice.

“Hey, Dad.”

John approaches Dean from the doorway and takes a spot next to him, grasping the back of his neck with a gentle squeeze of his hand. He nurses a bottle of beer with the other.

“Sammy’s alright.” John says as he brings the bottle to his lips.

Dean casts his eyes downward, fidgeting with the toe of his boot. He doesn’t question how John knows what’s on his mind. He figures it’s a spiritual plane thing. Or maybe a parental thing.

Dean sighs with a sad smile. “Yeah. I hope so.”

John’s hand slips down to rub soothing lines across the planes of Dean’s shoulders, and he can’t help but revel in it—just a little. It’s the affection he’s always craved from his father.

“You did good, son,” John offers gently. “Real good. Sammy’s in good hands with Eileen.”

Dean lifts his eyes to meet John’s. He purses his lips together with a slight nod. “Thanks.” He doesn’t smile, not really. But Dean can feel his eyes soften.

John places his beer bottle down on one of the patio tables before stepping in front of Dean. His eyes are sad, Dean finds, which causes him to furrow his brow.

“Dean, listen…” John begins, and drops his gaze to his feet before looking up again. Dean’s stomach churns. “I know what kind of father I was to you-”

“Dad, you don’t have t-”

“No, I do,” John urges, voice thick and gruff. “But more than that, you need to hear it.” He reaches to place a hand on the side of Dean’s face and strokes his hairline with his thumb.

“I am so sorry,” John whispers as tears well in his eyes. “I never should have put any of my crap on you after your mother died. You didn’t deserve any of it. All you ever did was put me and your brother first. Always. You raised him, and that wasn’t fair. You took care of us and I didn’t take care of you.”

John takes a shuddering breath. Dean just stares through flooded eyes.

“Dean, I put the entire world on your shoulders when that was my burden to bear.”

John pauses, and reaches up both hands now to frame Dean’s face.

“I am so sorry.”

Dean feels hot tears slipping unchecked down his cheeks. He licks his lips and tries to swallow past the lump in his throat —he can’t — and he lets out a shuddering breath as he stifles a sob.

“I am so proud of you,” John continues, tears of his own falling down his face. He reaches his right hand to place it over Dean’s heart with a pat.

“You are the best man I know,” John breathes, watery. “And I’m so proud to be able to call you my son.”

Something breaks inside of Dean then; waves of catharsis crash through him, like waves against the jagged shore. John pulls Dean into his arms as Dean falls into him, clinging to his back.

He cries. He cries for all the times he should have been allowed to as a child. He cries for all the cuts and scrapes and bruises that were never tended to; he cries for the trauma, the shame, and all the pain and guilt and anguish of inferiority. For the years of self-loathing and self-sacrifice.

He cries for himself and for his father. He can’t stop shaking as sobs wrack his body.

John holds Dean tightly, squeezes, and his next words are like a balm to Dean’s soul:

“I love you so much.”

*

It’s some time later when the proverbial dust has settled.

Dean and John sit on Baby’s hood, sipping fresh beers and watching the light show in the sky above. Dean’s eyes are puffy still, and he feels completely boneless and exhausted. He allows all of his weight to sink against the windshield where he lays, and he closes his eyes to breathe deeply.

He feels healed. Like everything that was ever twisted and broken inside of him has fallen away and been built anew.

“So, tell me about your angel,” John says, eyes unmoving from the stars above.

Dean chokes a little on his beer as his body straightens. He places his bottle down next to him on the Impala’s hood and wipes the dribble of beer off his chin with the back of his sleeve.

He coughs once before answering, cheeks flushed hot. “Whaddya wanna know?”

John chuckles as he meets Dean’s eyes and gently smacks him across his chest with the back of one hand. “Come on, Dean. You slow danced to Journey with the guy. I know he ain’t just some ‘friend’,” John teases with air quotes, wearing the most shit-eating-grin that Dean has ever seen.

Dean ducks his head with a smile, trying to hide the furious blush that creeps into his cheeks. He runs his hand through his hair, rucking it up every which way.

“Well uh, yeah...I mean. Y’know. He’s uh. He’s not just a friend,” Dean supplies eloquently while rubbing the back of his neck. He mentally smacks himself upside the head. Smooth, dude. Real smooth.

“No shit.”

They both toss their heads back in laughter, matching laugh lines appearing near their eyes before Dean clears his throat and tries again.

“Cas’n’ I met a long time ago,” Dean starts, reaching for his bottle to fidget with the label. “He uh, pulled me outta Hell after I made that deal for Sam. I stabbed him the first time I met him.”

I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.

John snickers. “Well that’s one way to a guy’s heart, I guess.”

“Only way I know,” Dean chides with a shrug as he brings the bottle to his lips. The beer is soothingly cold down his throat.

There’s a beat of companionable silence between them before Dean feels John’s hand clap his shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, son.” he says earnestly.

Dean drops his gaze with a smile, picking at his beer label again. “Thanks, Dad.”

John drinks from his bottle before giving Dean a smirk.

“Kind of a weird dude,” he teases.

Dean snickers and purses his lips. “Ah, a little. He grows on ya.”

Weird...dorky little guy.

A beat. “Only took a lil’ over twelve years,” he chastises himself gently. He feels something sad briefly cross his face before staring into the night sky.

John pats the side of Dean’s arm. “Love’s funny that way sometimes.”

Love.

Dean freezes and swallows dryly. His heart beats a little faster, because they don’t do this. They’ve never had a conversation like this. Especially about another guy.

“That’s what this is, right?” John asks, voice gritty with a smile. There’s not a hint of judgement in his voice. He sounds happy. “You love him?”

Dean looks down into his father’s gaze before licking his lips and glancing away for a millisecond. Almost self-conscious.

“Yeah.” He meets John’s fixed stare. “I do.”

John gives a watery grin. “Good.” And then he looks back up to the stars and takes a swig of his beer.

A puff of laughter escapes Dean’s lips as he does the same.

*

Harvelle’s door creaks open, and Dean grins as he lays sprawled out over the hood of his car, arms stretching out over the now vacant space beside him. He sits up straight and shifts his chin to the right; not enough to fully look over his shoulder, but he doesn’t need to see who is approaching.

He already knows.

“Hey Sunshine.”

Dean hops down off the car and makes the short stride to stand in front of Cas. He leans his hip against the passenger door, elbow resting on the roof. He clasps his hands together.

He gets lost in a sea of blue. Cas eyes bore into his soul.

“Hi,” Castiel says simply, reaching to run a hand down Dean’s shoulder.

Dean thinks they probably look like a couple of lovestruck idiots. Maybe they are.

Cas squints, and his eyes darken as he furrows his brow. “Your eyes,” he comments, and he reaches his hand to cup Dean’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the orbital bone.

Dean leans into Cas’s touch as he closes his eyes briefly, the angel’s hand warm and soft and huge.

“Are you alright?” he asks, lifting his free hand to brush Dean’s disheveled hair away from his forehead.

Dean hums softly and tilts his head to press a kiss into Cas’s palm. He shifts away from the car and leans closer into Cas’s space, resting his hands on the swell of the angel’s hips.

Moss green and cerulean blue.

Dean smiles a content, languid thing. He is so tired. Tired and healed and free.

“Yeah,” he whispers, voice thick and a little raw from crying.

Cas raises one eyebrow questioningly. “Dean—”

“Cas,” Dean whispers, reaching one hand to cup the curve of the angel’s jawline. “I’m okay. Me ‘n’ my dad...we were just setting some things straight.”

Cas gives a small nod, and fills the space between them completely as he encircles Dean’s waist, nuzzling into the crook of the hunter’s neck. Dean hums contentedly as he reaches a hand around Cas’s back, the other coming to cup the back of his head. Dean threads his fingers through the thick mess of black hair. His lips trail precariously close to the shell of Castiel’s ear.

“Good,” Cas says, voice layered thick with gravel.

Suddenly, Cas’s lips are trailing down Dean’s neck and he sucks at the pulse point, a maddening combination of teeth and lips before Dean feels the velvet heat of Cas’s tongue soothing over the bite.

“Oh.” Dean’s head starts to roll back but Cas is there, his hand catching the side of Dean’s face to steady him.

Dean opens his eyes (not even realizing he had closed them), and Cas is looking at him hungrily.

Fuck yeah.

Dean frames Cas’s face and dives in, and they’re finally — finally kissing in earnest, hot and deep and wet. It’s the best he’s ever had. Their tongues dance masterfully, lips sucking greedily, and Dean suddenly feels like his knees are gonna give out.

So he gently shoves Castiel against the passenger side door and presses his weight against him, and Dean grins through lips and tongue as Cas anchors him here.

Dean reaches to untuck Cas’s white dress shirt from his slacks, runs his hands underneath the fabric, and he moans when he finally gets to run his hands over the skin of Cas’s abdomen, his hips and the planes of his back. He’s soft and firm in all the right places.

Cas reaches down Dean’s waist and snakes his hands underneath his black tee, caressing the soft pudge of Dean’s belly before the angel’s hands go higher and his thumbs brush over Dean’s nipples.

Jesus. He’s growing hard already, and he shifts to slot against Cas’s pelvis and — yep.

Dean pulls back with a pant and stares into Cas’s blown pupils. “Everything works up here, huh?”

Cas just grins a gummy wide smile as they touch foreheads, panting and squeezing and touching bare skin.

“Jack and I built a house for you,” Cas says breathily, and maybe a little rushed before Dean brushes their lips together again and rolls against Cas’s hips. The angel’s head luls back and Dean runs a hand up the column of his neck.

“Us — you mean for us, right?” and it comes out a little needier than Dean wants, but he can’t be bothered to care in this moment.

“If that’s...what you want,” Cas pants, eyes never leaving Dean’s.

Dean grips the collar of Cas’s shirt and pulls Cas closer, noses brushing. “Yes, dumbass. I want,” he chuckles. And then Dean’s opening his mouth and kissing Cas again.

This is Heaven.

[hotpinkhoshi]

the pact | insecurities

pairing: reader x jinyoung (in the pact universe)

genre: a little angst, a lot of fluff, some smut

warnings: a LOT of body image talk here, pregnant sex, the usual cursing, dirty talk etc, jinyoung might have a hint of a pregnancy kink but mostly he just really loves his wife

summary: pregnancy has been hell for you, and by the time you hit the six month mark, you haven’t let your husband put his hands on you in weeks. all those baby books did not prepare him for this. 

a/n: hiiii babes. okay so disclaimer, this drabble is probably not everyone’s cup of tea. which is totally fine. but someone sent me an ask about jinyoung loving his wife being pregnant and well... i was inspired. i hope you guys like this! ❤️ oh and let me know if you think they’re having a boy or a girl... 😏

You’d never wanted to murder your husband before. You loved him more than you even thought possible, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have an unbearable urge to wring his neck right now.

“Say hello,” he cooed, phone in front of your face on selfie mode.

“Jinyoung. I love you, but if you don’t get that thing out of my face and far away from me, I’m going to stab you with this spoon,” you threatened, holding up the spoon you were using to shove ice cream into your mouth.

“It’s for the-”

“For the baby. Yes, I know.”

“Pfffffff-” he scoffed at you, eyes full of betrayal. “I can’t believe you. Don’t you want our unborn child to see you eating the ice cream you made me drive across town for at midnight just because he or she wanted it?”

“Ah-ha! I knew you were mad!” You jabbed a finger into his chest.

Jinyoung scowled, rubbing the spot you’d poked. “I was not mad. I was tired. But you have your ice cream now, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you said, shoving another spoonful into your mouth.

You’d gotten all ready for bed and curled up in the covers, and just before Jinyoung moved to crawl onto the bed next to you, you’d begged him to go out and get you the special triple chocolate ice cream that they only sold at one particular convenience store. It just happened to be a twenty minute drive.

Jinyoung had simply sighed and turned around, leaving to slip his shoes on and fetch you your ice cream. It wasn’t like you did this all the time. Your cravings hadn’t been too bad, but you had developed a mean sweet tooth, longing for dessert at all hours of the day.

“How does it taste?” Jinyoung asked, his scowl softening. “Worth it?”

“Yes,” you answered simply, directing your answer to his phone’s camera lens. “It’s delicious.”

Jinyoung switched the lens to the front camera, sitting back on the bed as he filmed you digging into your ice cream carton. It was resting on your bump, which seemed to get bigger and bigger by the day lately. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face as he watched you, even when chocolate dribbled down your chin.

He’d thought the first two years of your relationship had been the best it could be and he could never have loved you more. Then you got pregnant, and now he was sure he could never love you more.

You stuck your tongue out to catch the dripping ice cream, freezing when you noticed Jinyoung watching you with a smile from behind his phone. “What?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “Nothing. Just thinking how much I love you.”

He told you this all the time lately. Ever since you’d gotten pregnant, he showered you with compliments all day every day, to a point where you’d started to worry that he was trying to overcompensate. Like maybe he was so repulsed by your pregnant body that he felt the need to remind himself that he loved you.

You grunted. “Don’t say that. I’m a whale.”

Jinyoung scoffed, reaching a thumb out to wipe at the remnants of chocolate ice cream on your chin. “First of all, you’re not a whale. You’re six months pregnant. Second of all, I’d love you even if you were a whale.”

For some reason, you didn’t seem pleased with his answer. Your eyes immediately filled with tears as you picked up your ice cream carton, plopping it on the nightstand next to you.

“Oh god, baby, what did I say? What’s wrong?” he asked, dropping the phone onto the bed and scooting up next to you.

You sniffled and wiped at your face. “I hate this. And I hate that I hate it.”

Jinyoung brought you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. “What do you mean? Talk to me.”

“I’m disgusting. I’m breaking out, my face is puffy, I can’t stop burping, and I’m lumpy.” You were full on crying at this point, tears running down your face as you curled into your husband. “And I shouldn’t feel disgusting. I’m carrying our baby, I should be over the moon. But I hate feeling like this.”

It made you feel better to at least get it off your chest. While it was only a fraction of your complaints, you’d been holding it in for so long.

Pregnancy had not been kind to you. In fact, you felt like garbage most of the time. You were irritable, overly emotional, and you had barely let Jinyoung touch you in the last two weeks because you’d felt so low.

“Lumpy?” Jinyoung asked, pulling away to look down at you. “Where?”

You sniffed again, looking down at your legs, sticking out from underneath your maternity nightgown. Your tummy had gotten too big to wear Jinyoung’s shirts to bed anymore, and that had been a very depressing realization. So you’d gone out and purchased a dozen nightgowns, far too big for you but at least there was no way you’d outgrow them and feel even worse.

“Here,” you sighed, grabbing and squeezing at your thigh. You hadn’t shaved there in a while, either, which did nothing to make you feel better. “My butt’s lumpy too.”

It killed Jinyoung to see you like this. He’d always thought you were stunning, even more so when you got pregnant. He loved the new curves of your body, and it was driving him insane that you wouldn’t let him appreciate them. But he knew better than to push you. He gave you the space you needed, but this was where he drew the line. He wouldn’t let you talk about yourself like this.

“Baby, look at me,” he reached for your chin, tilting your face up towards him. “You’re gorgeous. I’m not just saying that, so don’t even try it. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me to keep my hands off of you these last couple of weeks. If you’d let me, I would worship every inch of your body for hours. As it is. Because to me, right now and always, you’re the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen.”

You blinked up at him, lip quivering. “I am?”

Jinyoung smiled, his expression melting as he looked down at you. “You are.”

“Even though my legs are hairy?”

He chuckled, sliding his hand from your chin down to the curve of your collarbone. He was testing the waters, seeing how far you’d let him go.

“Baby, I don’t think you get it. There’s no exception here. You’re fucking stunning, and I’d love to have those hairy legs wrapped around my waist right now. Or even better, over my shoulders.”

As much as you wanted to hit him for calling your legs hairy, you pressed your lips together, feeling a familiar tingle between your thighs. It had been quite a while since you’d felt that heat, too far into your own head to let yourself get turned on.

“Jinyoung,” you whispered. “I want…”

You took a deep breath as Jinyoung’s hand traveled further south, fingertip grazing over the curve of your breast. The area was so sensitive, even though it was covered with the cotton of your nightgown, it felt like your skin was bare.

“What do you want, angel? Let me hear you say it.”

Jinyoung’s eyes darkened, the air in the room becoming thick with tension. You squeezed your thighs together, surprised to feel that the area was already slick. Well, at least there was one positive symptom of pregnancy.

“I want you to make me feel good,” you said, fingers nervously playing with the sheets underneath of you. “Make me feel sexy.”

Your husband smirked down at you and bent his head for a kiss, his hand continuing its path down your body. He stroked your belly, which took you a moment to enjoy, before his touch traveled further. He pushed the hem of your nightgown up until he could grip the flesh of your thigh, settling his body into the space he created for himself.

You couldn’t help but release a sigh into the kiss. You’d missed him, you’d missed having him close and there were moments you were sure you wouldn’t feel like this until long after you’d had the baby.

But here you were, quickly growing hot and wet between your thighs. Jinyoung slid his hand around the curve of your inner thigh until he met the fabric of your panties, which could only be described as granny panties.

“Hmmm, looks like you’re already soaked.” Jinyoung parted from your lips, pressing kisses across your jaw and down the line of your neck. You whined, hips wriggling under his featherlight touch.

“Jinyoung,” you breathed, slipping your hands under the cotton of his t-shirt, allowing it to bunch up as you slid your hands upwards along his back.

He got the hint, pulling away from your collarbone to yank his shirt off. He tossed it to the side, then went for the bottom of your nightgown.

“Can I?” he asked.

You hesitated for a moment. As much as his words had helped you to feel better, you still didn’t feel confident. But this was your husband, and if he told you he wanted to worship your curves, you believed him. You nodded.

Jinyoung was slow about it, slipping his hands along the slopes of your body, dragging the nightgown along with them. Your breath hitched when his fingertips grazed over your bare breasts under the gown.

Then he slipped the garment over your head, leaving you only in your unflattering panties. You were quick to shimmy them down your hips, letting Jinyoung help with the task.

There you were, naked underneath of him. You’d been hiding your body from him lately, and he was overwhelmed at the sight. His eyes raked down your frame, starting at the curves of your swollen breasts, down to the incredible sight of your belly which made him emotional in a number of ways, landing on your glistening core on display for him.

“Fuck. You are so beautiful. God.”

You nearly believed he was just saying that, he didn’t mean it—but the bulge in his pajama pants reassured you. There was no denying he was staring at you like his favorite meal.

“Jinyoung,” you whispered. “Touch me.”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” he said, corner of his lips lifting in a smirk.

Jinyoung settled back on top of you. His fingertip trailed along your collarbone, tracing the line until it slipped down further, following the swell of your breast. As soon as he grazed your nipple, you took in a sharp inhale. Sensitive was an understatement.

He looked pleased at your reaction. While his fingers pinched the hardened bud, he dipped down to tend to your other breast with his mouth. You gasped once more, already so affected by the sensations he was giving you.

You brought a hand up to his hair, squeezing his strands in your fist. He worked magic with his tongue, flicking back and forth over your nipple at a steady, rapid pace.

“Oh, god,” you whimpered, arching your chest towards him. It certainly wouldn’t take long for you to come, and you were almost positive he could get you there just like this.

But you couldn’t neglect him—nor did you want to. With one hand in his hair, you slid the other down his chest, feeling along the ridges and hard lines of his muscles. Figures, while you were getting plump he was getting hotter than ever.

Your fingers dipped into the waistband of his pajama pants, pleased to find that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Jinyoung’s expert movements on your breast faltered as you wrapped your hand around his length.

“Shit,” he whispered, pulling away from your chest to look down at you. “See what you do to me, angel? Just seeing your body, hearing the noises you make for me…”

You shoved his pants down as far as you could and Jinyoung helped you out, kicking them from his shins and off of the bed. “How do you want me?” you asked, pumping your hand along his length a few times.

Jinyoung kissed your forehead, then sat back on his heels, giving your outer thigh a light tap. “On your knees.”

You held his hand for support as you sat up and turned onto your knees, a movement that was not done gracefully. Jinyoung sat behind you, angling your body so that your ass was sticking up for him. You grabbed a pillow to rest your elbows on, since you weren’t sure how long your arms could hold you up.

“Now, I don’t know what you see in the mirror but all I can see is perfection. Not a single flaw on you, baby…”

You whimpered as his hands trailed from your shoulder blades down the curve of your spine, his touch sending fire through your whole body. You needed him, and you needed him now. Then you felt his body hovering over you, the tip of his cock bumping at your entrance.

“Ready?” he asked, gripping your hips and rubbing soothing circles into your lower back with his thumbs.

“Please,” you responded breathlessly as you pushed your backside towards him.

Jinyoung chuckled. “Someone’s needy.”

“Shut up,” you replied, twisting your head around to glare at him. “Do you want to tease me or do you want to fuck me?”

You gasped at the slap that Jinyoung delivered to your ass, arching your back as much as you could with the extra weight pulling you down. Not as forceful as he had been with you in the past, but enough to get his point across.

“I’m going to fuck you. But if anything starts to hurt, or you feel uncomfortable, you need to tell me right away, okay?” he caressed your ass where he’d spanked, eliciting a soft moan out of you as you obeyed.

“Okay.”

Without further warning, Jinyoung was pushing inside of you, slow but steady. You couldn’t even remember the last time he’d fucked you, if you were honest. At least a month. It was almost impossible to get in the mood lately, at least for more than a minute before you were feeling crabby again.

“Tight,” Jinyoung breathed behind you, groaning once he bottomed out. “Fuck. Can pregnancy make you tighter?”

There was a significant amount of resistance as Jinyoung slid through your folds. You hadn’t done much research in this area, but as far as you could tell, pregnancy did weird things to the female body. After all, you’d experienced it first hand.

“Did the-” you were cut off as Jinyoung pulled out, slamming back inside of you with a shallow thrust. “Oh my god. Did the books say anything about this?!”

Jinyoung was on a pregnancy book kick ever since you’d found out you were pregnant. He had single handedly cleared out the entire section in your bookstore, and you were certain he’d read them all cover to cover by now.

“No,” he replied, low and throaty. “But the way you’re squeezing me—oh fuck, you’re not even trying, are you? God, you feel so fucking good.”

Jinyoung always cursed more when he was overwhelmed, when something felt good or bad beyond his expectations, so you knew he was being truthful. It felt just as good for you, but you were at a loss for words.

He began a deathly slow pace inside of you so that you could feel every inch of him, your walls naturally clenching around him in a way that made him feel so much bigger than you remembered.

“Jinyoung…” You leaned deeper into the bed, relying on your forearms to hold your weight. “Faster, please,” you begged.

Your husband was eager to obey, his hips quickening their pace. Not only were you ridiculously wet and tight, you were so sensitive. You wouldn’t last long.

“My good girl, taking me so well,” Jinyoung said from behind you, sounding like it was more to himself than you. “Thought about having you bent over for me for weeks.”

You wished you could’ve said the same. The only thing you’d fantasized about lately was not being pregnant—and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Just as you shifted to spread your legs, you felt a sharp pain shoot up your thigh. You gasped and fell forward, clutching at the tightened muscle. These goddamn leg cramps… just one more thing getting in the way of Jinyoung screwing your brains out.

Jinyoung stilled immediately, his eyes filled with worry. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Ow, ow, ow. Leg cramp. Hold on,” you said with a whine.

You scooted forward and Jinyoung slipped out of you, much to your dismay. You flopped over onto your back, thighs still spread. What a sexy image that probably was.

“Just…” you took a deep breath, massaging your thigh for another moment. “Okay. I’m good. Sorry.”

He didn’t look convinced. His hands rubbed your thigh soothingly, which you couldn’t deny felt amazing, but you needed him inside of you.

“Baby, please. I’m okay.”

You were grateful that Jinyoung didn’t treat you like you were made of glass since you got pregnant. For the most part, he had let you call the shots. If you needed him, he was there. But he allowed you your independence, letting you run errands on your own or work an extra day at the store if you wanted to, on the one condition that as soon as you started feeling tired or needed his help, you would tell him. He trusted your judgment, and made sure you knew that he was by your side if you needed it.

“Here,” Jinyoung said, shifting to lay on his side next to you. With an arm around your waist, he turned you into your side and pulled you back against him. “This okay?”

You hummed in response, pleased to feel his hard length pressing into your lower back. It took some adjusting, but once he finally slid back inside of you, you sighed, satisfied.

He soon found his rhythm again, letting you rest your head against one arm while the other slipped around your body to massage your breast.

It didn’t take long for the heat to build in your belly, with the deep strokes Jinyoung was delivering combined with the way he was pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers.

“Jinyoung, oh-” you tipped your head back, turning just enough to be able to see your husband’s face. He looked so serious, eyebrows knitted together in a hard line. “I’m close, I’m-”

He tipped his head forward to brush his lips against yours, his hand dragging down your body until he could tuck it into the space between your thighs. Once he started rubbing your clit, you knew you were done for.

“My beautiful girl, taking me so deep, so good for me,” he breathed against your lips, an almost incoherent mumbling of praises.

Your eyes fell shut as you clutched at his wrist, making sure he didn’t stop the delightful movements of his index and middle fingers against the bundle of nerves between your legs.

“I-” You tried to speak but he rendered you speechless as he wrapped his other arm around you as well, holding you close as he drove into you without mercy.

Your orgasm washed over you before you even had a chance to prepare. It barreled out of nowhere as your thighs shook and you held onto his arm for dear life, feeling like every nerve in your body had just been set aflame.

Jinyoung attached his lips to your shoulder as he pumped into you, desperate to drag out the aftershocks of your orgasm while also chasing his own climax.

The room filled with his groans and your soft moans as he emptied inside of you, pressed into you so tightly it was as if you’d become one body.

You both took a moment to breathe after he’d come down from his high. Jinyoung caressed your whole body, pressing sweet kisses into your neck as he told you over and over just how special you were to him.

After you regained some strength, you maneuvered onto your other side so that you could face your husband. He looked absolutely spent.

“Hi,” you whispered with a smile, smoothing your fingertips down his cheek.

Jinyoung returned your smile and turned his head to kiss your fingertips. “Hi,” he repeated. “How do you feel now?”

“Better,” you said. “I’m sorry that I… that I haven’t made this easy on you.”

Perhaps you were the one carrying your child, but Jinyoung did as much as he could, and then some. He walked the fine line between holding your hand every step of the way, and letting you have your space to deal with all of the aspects he couldn’t possibly understand.

You truly would never deserve him.

“It’s not supposed to be easy.” Jinyoung pressed a kiss to the bridge of your nose, his hands sliding along your back slowly. “You're incredible to me for handling this so well.”

You snorted. “Well? I cry, like, six times a day. And I definitely don’t eat enough vegetables. And if I keep eating ice cream at midnight our child will probably end up with diabetes-”

“Hush,” Jinyoung whispered. “Stop being so hard on yourself. I love you, and I think you’re amazing. And if I hear you call yourself lumpy ever again, you’ll have hell to pay.”

Resting your head on his chest, you laughed. “Thanks for loving my lumpy butt.”

“Watch it,” he warned, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

Silence fell between the two of you as you melted into his arms, enjoying the feeling of his hands rubbing your back and your shoulders, before they trailed down to your tummy.

You shifted onto your back, placing your hands on top of his. “We should start thinking of names, shouldn’t we?”

“Maybe,” Jinyoung replied. The way he stared down at your bump with complete adoration was enough to quite literally make your heart skip a beat. “You still think it’s a boy?”

You nodded, smiling down at your stomach. “Mhm. But I think I’m the only one. Everyone else is so convinced we’re having a little girl, so maybe I’ve just got some wires crossed.”

Jinyoung laughed, scooting down your body until he was level with your belly button. “Hmm…”

As he pressed his ear into your stomach, you threw your head back and laughed. “Are you trying to hear if it’s a boy or girl?”

Jinyoung looked up at you only to shush you before he was concentrating completely, one hand rubbing circles into your skin.

“What’s that, little bear? Ah, so interesting… oh, really? I knew it.” He pretended to have a conversation with your stomach, complete with shocked facial expressions and a cheeky smirk in your direction.

You narrowed your eyes down at Jinyoung. “What is it?”

“It’s a secret. Little bear told me if it’s a boy or a girl, but we think we should keep it to ourselves just a little bit longer.”

You huffed. “Not even born yet and my kid’s already conspiring against me. Not a good sign.”

Jinyoung shrugged. “What can I say? Our baby knows I’m the cool parent already.”

“Not fair,” you retorted, poking your index finger into Jinyoung’s dimple. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He pretended to bite your fingertip as you laughed, ruffling his hair in retaliation. He trailed kisses back up your body before burying his head into your neck.

“Mine,” he whispered, lips pressed into your skin and hand caressing your tummy.

You closed your eyes, so sure you’d never been so content than at this moment. As you slid your arms around Jinyoung, you couldn’t have been more grateful. Maybe you didn’t feel beautiful, but you felt strong, supported, and loved.

“Yours,” you breathed in response.

[platedgolds]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎.

hi,   friends   !   i’m   admin   fox   (   23.   she/they.   brt.   )   and   i’m   so   excited   to   get   this   going   !   it’s   been   a   wild   journey   to   make   this   group   happen   but   everyone   seems   so   nice   and   all   of   your   muses   are   so   interesting   it’s   def   all   worth   it   !   this   is   romeo   dubois,   my   himbo   baby   and   all   around   hot   mess.   if   you’d   like   to   plot   with   him,   please   feel   free   to   message   me   on   discord   at   pedro pascal stan blog#9349   or   send   me   your   discord   @   and   i’ll   message   you   there   !

*                     SEBASTIAN   STAN   +   CIS   MALE   +   HE/HIM   ——   have   you   seen   ROMEO   DUBOIS   around?   they’re   a   THIRTY-SIX   year   old   PHYSICAL   EDUCATION   TEACHER   known   around   town   as   the   LOOSE   CANON.   not   only   are   they   broke   af,   but   they’ve   been   in   town   for   SIX   YEARS.   they’re   LOYAL   +   LAID-BACK,   as   well   as   CHILDISH   +   UNHINGED,   but   what   else   would   you   expect   from   an   ARIES?   low-hanging   grey   sweatpants.   back   muscles.   a   beer   bottled   tucked   on   the   back   pocket   of   a   pair   of   jeans.

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

romeo   was   born   in   eldora   to   two   very   absent   parents;   they   were   one   of   the   few   middle   class   families   in   town,   with   his   mother   always   traveling   for   work   and   his   father   at   home,   drowning   himself   in   alcohol.   from   an   early   age,   romeo   was   left   to   his   own   devices;   he   was   the   one   who   raised   his   brother   even   though   he   was   still   just   a   child   himself   when   cain   was   born,   with   no   skill   or   mental   capacity   to   take   care   of   himself   let   alone   an   infant. 

his   parents’   marriage   was   in   shambles;   the   whole   town   often   spoke   about   how   unfaithful   mrs.   dubois   was,   and   how   her   husband   only   stood   by   her   side   because   of   the   money   she   made.   romeo   was   too   young   to   understand   what   ‘cheating’   meant   when   the   rumors   first   started,   but   he   still   got   into   plenty   of   fights   by   the   time   he   entered   his   teens   and   the   infamy   of   his   mother’s   choices   were   echoed   throughout   high   school   bleachers

it   didn’t   take   long   before   people   started   recognizing   romeo   as   one   of   the   trouble   makers   in   town;   his   anger   against   his   parents   and   the   horrible   situation   they   forced   upon   him   made   its   way   out   of   his   chest   with   the   blink   of   an   eye,   lashing   out   at   everyone   and   anyone   he   could.   in   the   height   of   his   teenagehood,   romeo   knew   the   name   of   every   single   cop   in   eldora’s   precinct.   he   got   into   so   many   fights   it   was   hard   to   see   romeo   without   a   bruise   on   his   face,   got   drunk   and   wrecked   his   car   more   times   than   anyone   could   ever   count,   and   he   even   spent   a   few   nights   in   a   cell   after   a   particular   incident   involving   the   break   in   of   several   homes   around   town.   still,   people   pitied   the   kid,   and   many   would   leave   him   off   the   hook   no   matter   what   kind   of   bad   trouble   he   got   into.

despite   his   bad   manners   and   constant   anger,   romeo   excelled   in   sports.   more   specifically   ice   hockey,   which   he   had   to   take   a   bus   three   towns   over   to   be   able   to   practice   every   week;   he   loved   the   freedom   of   the   skates,   and   he   was   large   and   violent   enough   to   be   unstoppable   in   the   rink.   his   prowess   caught   the   eye   of   many,   and   by   the   time   romeo   was   legal   to   drink   he   was   shoved   in   an   airplane   and   taken   to   canada   where   he   could   practice   and   properly   excel   in   his   craft.

by   the   age   of   twenty-three,   romeo   was   back   in   the   united   states   playing   for   the   jersey   devils,   a   team   he   wasn’t   too   proud   of,   but   it   paid   the   bills   and   it   brought   him   the   notoriety   he   felt   like   he   truly   deserved.

by   the   age   of   twenty-seven,   romeo   dubois   was   captain   of   the   chicago   blackhawks   and   making   more   money   than   he   could   ever   know   what   to   do   with   it.   twenty-seven   was   also   the   year   he   got   married   to   the   victoria’s   secret   angel   he’d   met   just   eight   months   prior;   anyone   that   has   ever   met   romeo   will   say   he   peaked   in   his   late   20s,   though   he   would   say   they   were   the   most   miserable   years   he’s   ever   had.

it   all   came   crumbling   down   on   his   29th   birthday,   when   romeo   was   arrested   in   chicago   for   a   car   accident   that   nearly   took   the   life   of   a   young   mother;   he   had   two   male   escorts   and   over   a   pound   of   cocaine   in   his   car,   and   even   though   his   lawyers   managed   to   bribe   his   way   into   a   short   six   months   prison   sentence,   the   media   wasn’t   so   kind.   romeo   lost   his   job,   lost   his   reputation   and   managed   to   lose   every   single   penny   he   had   once   his   wife   divorced   him.

once   romeo   was   out   of   jail,   he   had   no   place   to   go   other   than   eldora.   he’s   been   back   into   town   for   six   years,   working   as   a   p.e.   teacher   at   the   local   high   school   solely   because   the   principal   was   a   family   friend   that   pulled   many   strings   to   get   him   the   position.   he   currently   lives   in   the   dingy   motel   in   the   outskirts   of   town,   spending   most   of   his   time   drunk   and   high---   and   for   a   man   who   swore   he’d   never   be   like   his   father,   romeo’s   had   never   been   more   wrong. 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄.

literal   himbo.   that’s   it,   that’s   his   personality.   hot   &   stupid,   absolutely   joey   tribbiani   kinda   guy--   you   know,   if   joey   was   an   asshole   and   not   the   absolute   sweetheart   he   is.

v   selfish,   will   do   whatever   it   takes   to   make   sure   he   comes   out   on   top   of   every   situation.   still,   if   he   thinks   someone   is   worthy   of   his   loyalty,   he’ll   stick   by   them   no   matter   what.

big   liar.   seriously.   has   no   qualms   about   making   shit   up   on   the   spot   so   that   his   narrative   is   the   one   being   told;   damn   good   actor,   too.

big   hoe   (   it   runs   in   the   family,   the   bad   tongues   would   say.   ),   will   sleep   with   anyone   as   long   as   they’re   paying   attention   to   him   for   long   enough.

he   was   in   the   closet   his   entire   career,   and   now   that   he’s   been   shoved   out   of   it   romeo   has   no   intention   of   going   back---   calls   himself   gay   as   hell   way   too   much   for   someone   who’s   actually   bi.

6′3,   broad   shoulders   and   still   with   an   athletic   build   even   if   he   doesn’t   play   anymore;   romeo’s   far   too   shallow   to   let   himself   go,   even   if   working   out   nowadays   kills   a   little   bit   of   his   soul   every   time.

covered   in   tattoos,   with   a   well   trimmed   beard   and   hair   styled   perfectly   so   that   it   looks   messy   enough;   romeo   has   the   ‘i   look   like   i   just   woke   up   and   yet   it   took   me   three   hours   to   get   ready’   nonchalant   look   down   to   the   t.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

a   party   friend   ---   romeo’s   only   likable   when   he’s   drunk;   thankfully,   that   seems   to   be   the   case   most   of   the   time.   this   person   only   comes   around   when   they   want   to   get   drunk   or   high,   and   of   course   romeo’s   always   ready   to   take   it   up   a   notch.

a   best   friend   ---   they   are   always   on   each   other’s   corner;      this   is   someone   that   sees   romeo   for   who   he   really   is   instead   of   the   bad   guy   façade   he   wears,   and   loves   him   despite   his   flaws;   maybe   they   even   lived   together   for   a   while   when   romeo   first   came   back   into   town?   could   be   a   childhood   friendship   or   something   new.

a   protege   ---   for   one   reason   or   another,   romeo   has   deemed   this   person   worthy   of   caring   for   and   protecting   with   his   life.   like   a   momma   bear,   except   you’re   not   a   bear   cub   and   he   certainly   doesn’t   know   how   to   care   for   anyone.   could   be   funny   if   this   was   clearly   someone   that   doesn’t   need   protecting.

a   one   night   stand   ---   like   a   said,   big   hoe.   maybe   romeo   and   this   person   that   a   night   together   (   or   more   than   one   )   and   he   simply   never   called   back   ?   probably   doesn’t   even   remember   about   it,   acts   as   if   it   never   happened;   could   be   fun   if   they   had   been   friends   beforehand.

an   ex   ---   they   were   pretty   serious   at   one   point,   maybe   even   lived   together   ?   and   then   romeo   fucked   things   up;   it   was   definitely   a   self-sabotaging   thing,   where   he   felt   like   he   was   too   close   to   happiness   and   subconsciously   couldn’t   allow   himself   such   a   thing.   maybe   he   cheated,   or   maybe   he   started   picking   fights   for   every   single   small   thing,   or   hell,   maybe   he   even   started   ghosting   them   and   spending   the   nights   away   from   home.   whatever   he   needed   to   do   to   get   them   to   break   up   with   him.

a   hate   fuck   ---   they   hate   each   other,   but   they   can’t   keep   their   clothes   on   around   each   other   either;   every   argument   ends   up   in   heated   sex,   and   at   this   point   they   aren’t   sure   if   they’re   fighting   because   they   can’t   stand   the   other,   or   if   they’re   doing   it   because   they   know   where   it’ll   end. 

a   fan   ---   someone   that   knew   him   from   his   time   as   a   hockey   player   !   romeo   def   feels   very   uncomfortable   around   them,   a   constant   reminder   of   the   good   life   he’s   lost.

friends   of   all   kinds   ---   romeo’s   a   social   butterfly   on   his   good   days,   so   give   him   all   sorts   of   friends   !   co-workers,   old   friends,   some   new.   anything   !

[laceymorganwrites]

Too fast for love

Word count: 1,968

Pairing: Vince Neil!Yuuji x reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, drugs, cheating, alcohol and a lot of sexual references and mentions

General taglist: @astrooliver

Series masterlist

Yuuji only wanted to be loved. He was quite narcissistic on the outside, that much was clear, however deep inside he still was the little boy who came from a broken home.

His parents couldn´t care less about him, kicking him out after he got suspended from school.

Looking back he couldn´t even blame them.

He´s always been a little shit, even as a child.

Living in a bad neighborhood like his was rough, he lived in between two rivaling gangs and got caught up more often than not in their violent antics.

He fucking hated it.

Just like the rest of the band he never felt like he belonged.

Yuuji was an outcast like the rest of them.

And outcasts automatically were drawn to each other, it was a weird rule the universe set up.

Maybe this was the rule they really should´ve broken instead of all the other ones that got them into trouble.

But you couldn´t change the past, only regret remained.

Thus, he met the one and only Bokuto Koutaro, a ray of sunshine and chaotic as can be.

Seriously, if Yuuji was asked to describe his friend in one word it would be wild.

However he was the only thing that made school at least halfway bearable.

Still, that didn´t make his grades get better suddenly and even less did it help get him out of trouble.

If anything Yuuji got into even more trouble because of Koutaro.

Not that the blond was innocent. Not at all.

Yuuji still blushed red out of embarrassment when he remembered all the things he fucked up.

He used to boast to Koutaro about fucking girls left and right, about sneaking in the restroom and asking around who wanted some.

After all he was a man of his word.

Over time he got braver, fucking them everywhere he pleased, until he got caught by the teachers.

At this point it was already decided that he wasn´t going to stay at school.

Not that he wanted to anyway, he skipped classes whenever he pleased and was only there to hang out with Koutaro, fuck some and smoke some.

If he did attend classes, chances were he was drunk.

A living human failure.

That was what he called his younger self nowadays.

Sometimes he just couldn´t help but laugh at his antics, a chuckle escaped his lips as he told you about the time he sneaked into prom to hang out with Koutaro and the cheerleaders to smoke some pot.

It was a miracle he didn´t get caught.

Koutaro and him always competed with their sexual encounters, though years later when the band came to be, it got too much to keep a list.

Yuuji had trouble finding a place to live after getting kicked out by his parents and so he made it a habit crashing at his current girlfriend´s place.

Naturally that didn´t always work out, especially since he didn´t make the best impression and even though he was always careful to stay hidden, somehow he always got found out.

Another problem was that he had multiple girlfriends at the same time so that he could switch between places and pussy.

He was an asshole like that, thinking back on it he couldn´t help but groan in embarrassment.

How the fuck did he even get you to stay with him? It was a miracle and the best thing that ever happened in his life.

You were an angel, you were always there to ground him, he had more fun with you than with everyone else he ever dated before.

The idea of being in a band started when Koutaro told him that he was playing the drums and playing in front of a few people at some parties.

It sounded intriguing to say the least.

Yuuji knew those parties, he knew that the band always got to fuck every girl they wanted, taken or not.

He wanted that too.

He wanted to get every girl too, he wanted to acknowledgment from his friends too, or friends overall.

And so, he made a band of his own. They only did covers but that didn´t matter.

A bunch of guys who could play decently enough and him, the hot lead singer.

It was like everything was falling into place, if only he had stayed with that band.

Yuuji got everything he wanted, small gigs at parties, girls, drugs, guys who were jealous of him.

And it felt like a fucking dream, he felt like the king of the world.

But he was just a little boy with an ego that was way too big for his small body.

That ego massively increased when he got recruited by Tetsuro, Keishin and Koutaro.

Sure, Tetsuro and Keishin were weirdos, with their hair and makeup, their strange clothes. But Koutaro was still the same old.

He still was the same guy who let him into his van when Yuuji was homeless, kicked out by what seemed to be the hundredth girl.

It was good to see him again, more than that. Yuuji remembered everything they´ve already been through together and couldn´t help but smile. He couldn´t wait to play with Koutaro and see what was to come.

And when he listened to the tape he gave him and showed up to their place with his current girlfriend, he didn´t even think about regretting anything.

It seemed like the best decision he ever made at that point.

Once he stepped through that door, watching his girlfriend nag and bitch about the boys who just chuckled, he felt like he belonged.

Truly belonged, it felt long term sort of, not temporary.

She was saying all sorts of things how the boys weren´t good enough for him, how the music was too heavy but Yuuji knew that this was exactly what he wanted to do.

Simply covering songs didn´t do anymore when he saw the boys, he wanted to be a rockstar just like them, with them. As a band.

He never really sang anything remotely like metal, but he got the hang of it quickly.

The boys got along with him better than expected and so he moved into the rotten and infamous band house.

It should´ve concerned them how little time passed between their first meeting, their first practice and the actual recording of their first album.

It was never good when you rose to fame that quickly, selling out clubs you weren´t even allowed in.

Of course Yuuji never had trouble getting into the clubs he wanted to, he was attractive and a good lay, always had drugs on him too, everyone let him in.

They felt like kings, like they were at the top of the scene, not even regarding the fact that they spat on the legacy of so many hardworking legends that they adored and would scare away like everyone else in their lives.

It was lonely at the top, but there was nothing alcohol, drugs, girls, tattoos and motorcycles couldn´t solve.

Besides it wasn´t like it mattered anyway, the lonely feelings only showed when they had time to think, in sober moments.

Luckily there were no such moments for them.

Only parties, hell, the whole Tokyo metal scene partied at their dirty place, they got so many noise complaints that the cops just proceeded to barge into the house, to no avail though.

They simply nailed the door shut, opening the infamous window for everyone to get in.

They met a bunch of people at those parties, a bunch they´d piss off, but at the time they just were too arrogant and stupid to think of any consequences.

Hell, they´d be going on their first tour in a few days, it was crazy.

Yuuji was more nervous than he was for his first time, just seeing the amount of people that came to see him, the groupies who were waiting patiently to get fucked, it made him throw up.

Well, the drugs did, really.

People loved him, they adored and idolized him more than anything and he couldn´t handle it.

It made him an arrogant piece of shit, nobody could stop him, he loved bathing in the compliments and pussy he received.

The strip club became his second home, he remembered all the names of the girls at some point, they were such goddesses, dancing so sensually and the best thing was the mud wrestling.

He loved it so much that he installed a mud pit in his villa a few years later.

Life was a blurry rush to him, hopping from tour to studio, back home to his girlfriend he cheated on about a hundred times while he was away.

Vodka became his water, pussy his air, cocaine his bread and butter.

It was a miracle he could even sing on their concerts.

Well, at least he wasn´t as bad off as Tetsuro was, he could barely stand.

He remembered in one of their video shoots, he had long since forgotten which one, they had to hold him up so he wouldn´t collapse.

It was a mess.

Yuuji laughed it off back then.

Before the OD.

It really knocked him back into life when he saw his best friend die on TV.

It was like a bucket of cold water thrown into his face, Yuuji decided it was time to get sober, or well, their management did.

Tetsuro fired them afterwards anyway.

Yuuji and him didn´t get along at that time, the blond was way too mad at him for the stunt he pulled, not even telling them that he was fine after getting released from the hospital.

But instead the asshole bassist had the nerve to change his voicemail, demanding not to call him since he was dead.

It made Yuuji mad beyond belief.

Recording songs was difficult to say the least, they didn´t get anything done so he never showed up anymore.

Their management had enough after their last two albums failed so miserably, calling those monstrosities albums was an insult itself.

The boys just shot up and fucked around rather than producing new music.

At least they got about four decent songs out of this time.

Rehab was an experience for all of them.

Nobody took it seriously, they were rich, spending their money faster than earning it.

They were just talking in rehab anyway, it was cheesy bullshit.

Boys needed to fight not to talk.

How stupid he was back then, all of them were.

If they only took it seriously.

Maybe then things wouldn´t have to end like this, end in hating each other and still being forced to tour together.

Yuuji distanced himself from the band, finding you at his darkest moment and finally taking something serious, finally allowing himself to be vulnerable rather than vengeful.

You two spend some nice months together in solitude, you didn´t even do anything extravagant as he used to do before, you just enjoyed each other´s presence and that was more than enough.

It was more peaceful than anything in his life has ever been.

But of course the band wasn´t completely out of his life, approaching him after sobering up, for real this time, and turning their lives around.

And he accepted to return as their singer because he respected them, he respected nothing more than the honest effort they put into things.

The same hellish journey he´s been through with you.

Even after their final tour, they remained friends. True ones this time.

It was nice, spending the holidays together, doing mundane things they would´ve hated in their youths but now there was nothing better.

And so maybe their past didn´t completely define them. It gave Yuuji hope knowing that he could still change, that he could and would be better. 

For you.