#it was the most fucking intimate thing I’ve seen in my life

[mattitties]

Boyfriend - matt sturniolo

creepy guy at a bar, matt pretends to be your boyfriend and flirting ensues

“Vodka cran for me and a whiskey sour for my friend,” I tell the bartender, looking around for said friend. My best friend and roommate was invited to this event tonight through her work, so of course I came along with her, but now she’s nowhere to be found. I pull out my phone not only to text her, but also so I can look occupied so nobody comes up to me.

wya

bathroom brb

I put my phone in my pocket as the bartender slides me the drinks and a check. I shoot him a quick smile, pay the tab, and pass it back to him. I grabbed the drinks and turned around, wanting to find a table where I can wait for her to return to me, but instead I’m met with a tall blonde guy smirking right down at me. He’s muscular, has piercing green eyes, and has to be at least 6’3. He towers over me, and I’m immediately intimated and slightly annoyed as I really had no intentions of talking to men tonight. 

“Hey,” he smiles. “I’m Ben. I saw you from over there and wanted to introduce myself.”

“Uh huh…” I nod. I’m usually a very friendly person, but this has not been my week and I wanted nothing more than to not be talking to this man. “Well, nice to meet you Ben, but I really gotta get back to my friend.” I begin to shift to the left so I can make my way around him, but he moves to block me. I stare up at him, silently begging him to move.

“What, you can’t even give me a minute? Come on, just tell me your name,” he insists.

I sigh. “I’m good, thanks for asking though!” I soon realize that playing the sarcastic card was a mistake, as he starts to lean in, his arm blocking me from moving anywhere. 

He’s about to open his mouth when I feel someone come up behind me and put his hand on my arm. I turn my head and am met with another guy who is basically the polar opposite of the man in front of me: brunette, blue eyes, fairly skinny, and probably about 5’8. Despite me saying I didn’t want to talk to men tonight, whoever this mystery man is is exactly my type. I couldn’t help but stare not only because he’s hot as fuck, but because I definitely recognize him from somewhere. 

“Hey baby, sorry the line for the bathroom was crazy,” he says. “Who’s this?”

I pause for a moment, not realizing at first what was happening. “Um… sorry, what was your name again?” I ask the blonde.

“Ben,” he says, clearly pissed off that I didn’t remember. “And who’s this?” He gestures toward the brunette.

“I’m her boyfriend,” he gives him a big smile. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her but I got it from here.”

“You didn’t mention you had a boyfriend,” Ben says pointedly. 

“Well when you’re busy trying to corner her it gets a little caught in your throat,” the brunette shoots back. “You’re done, thank you, bye bye now!”

Ben rolls his eyes and finally walks away in defeat. The brunette turns to me, his hand still on my arm. Now that I’m actually looking at him, I see that he is one of the most attractive people I think I’ve ever seen in my life.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, thank you,” I nod.

“Sorry if that was weird, you just looked really uncomfortable,” he says. “I was hoping that wasn’t actually a boyfriend because that would have made things worse…”

“No, no, I don’t. Um, I really appreciate that.”

He does a quick scan of the bar to make sure Ben wasn’t looking, then puts his hand out. “I’m Matt.”

I tell him my name and we begin to make small talk. When there’s a lull in the conversation, my curiosity gets the best of me.

“You know, I recognize you from somewhere, I feel like TikTok or something…”

“Oh yeah, my brothers and I are YouTubers.”

It all clicks in my head. “Oh right! Yeah, I think one of my friends showed me a video one time. And I definitely remember thinking, that guy in the driver’s seat is hot,” I smirk at him. 

His cheeks get bright red, but he tries to play it cool. “Ohhh really? Or are you just saying that to flatter me?”

“No, no, definitely not, but if it’s working then…”

“Oh, it’s working.”

I smile. “I’ll have to check out some more of your videos so I can see more of you.”

“You could… or we could just hang out and you could see more of me in person.”

My heart nearly falls into my ass at that. I have never been great at flirting, but the conversation is just coming so easy with this guy that I can’t help myself. “Hmmm… I think I like that idea.” 

“Good,” he smiles while pulling out his phone. “Give me your number and I’ll text you later.”

Once I give it to him and he slides his phone back into his pocket, he leans against the pillar behind him and crosses his arms. “It’s crazy how I was just telling my brother how lame this event is. Not so much anymore.”

“I was just telling my roommate the exact same thing. I’m glad I stayed.”

He pushes off the pillar and stands up straight again, closer towards me. “The attendees usually aren’t this pretty.”

Now it’s my turn to blush. “Ohhhh you think I’m prettyyyy?”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t already know.” He pauses for a second, then opens his mouth. “Let me buy you dinner tomorrow.” Before I get a chance to respond, his eyes get wide. “Uh oh, your boyfriend’s looking. How do we make it believable that I’m with you?”

I don’t know where all my confidence is coming from right now. Something about him is making me a completely different person. I sit in one of the bar stools so I reach his height more then wrap my arms around his neck. “Like this?” I ask innocently.

He’s clearly at a loss for words for a moment, then he regains his composure. “Yeah, no, uh… yeah, this works.” I start to play with his hair on the back of his neck to try to fluster him even more. “So,” he says, trying to play off the fact that he is staring straight at my cleavage, “where do you live? So I know where to pick you up tomorrow night?” 

“We’re by The Grove, not too far from here. I’ll text you the full address,” I tell him.

“Oh perfect. We live right by here too, how convenient. Then I can see my girlfriend whenever,” he teases.

I nod in agreement. “Is he still looking?” I ask, referring to Ben.

He shrugs. “Don’t care. If I bothered looking at him then I wouldn’t get to look at you, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

I tilt my head and smile. “No, we definitely wouldn’t want that.”

He leans even closer, putting both his hands on the bar behind me. “So as my girlfriend,” he says, “I would assume you have a favorite tattoo of mine, right?” He put his arm out and rolled up his sleeve. “Which one would that be?”

I try to keep my composure as I look at the tattoos covering his arm. His forearms and hands are ridiculously veiny and I’m trying to keep the disgusting – but hot – thoughts running through my head at bay. “I like this one,” I say, tracing an anchor he has near his wrist. “Orrrr… this one.” My fingers run over one on his bicep, an owl with his wing covering a skull. He’s already insanely attractive, but his tattoos are making me legitimately sick to my stomach. 

“Do you have any?” he asks.

“Yeah, I got a few.” I show him the ones on my arm. “I have one on my rib too, but you’ll have to see that one another time.” I look up at him through my eyelashes and smile sweetly.

He smirks. “Oh will I?” 

“Mhm.”

“I have one on my chest,” he says, taking my hand and placing it on the left side of his chest. 

“Am I gonna see that one too?” I ask.

“Yeah, I don’t have one there,” he says dryly. “Just wanted an excuse to have your hands on me.”

My jaw drops a little as I slide my hand up his chest slowly until it’s back on his neck. Our faces are inches apart. “Do you think it looks believable that we’re together?” he asks.

“I think so,” I shrug. “It could always look more believable, but I don’t know your thoughts on PDA, so…”

His face is moving closer. “Where are you going with that?”

“Where do you think I’m going with it?”

He responds by giving me a soft kiss on my cheek. “That’s all you get for now.”

I pout in response, then move back and place my elbows on the bar behind me. My chest is a straight shot from his face, and I can tell he’s having a hard time focusing. “So where should we get dinner?” I ask.

“Um… we can go to… um…”

“I’ve never been to um, what do they have there?” I mock.

“Shut up,” he lets out a little laugh. “Let’s go somewhere higher end so I can treat you.”

“Ohhh, you got the big YouTube bucks, huh?”

He shrugs. “Gotta stay humble. I’ll treat you on a few different dates and we can find out just how much YouTube can pay for.”

“That sounds good,” I run my hand lightly through the curls on his neck as I give him the world’s nastiest fuck me eyes. 

He steps between my legs. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Why? I can’t look at my boyfriend like this?”

“Not with this many people around, no. Alone, though… well, we’re gonna be doing a lot more when we’re alone.”

I’m melting into a puddle in my seat. There’s no way this is happening. “I’m looking forward to it,” I reply, not breaking eye contact.

“I’ve gotta get back to my brothers,” he says in a near whisper. “I’ll text you, okay?”

I nod as he kisses my cheek one last time before he winks at me and walks away. 

---------------------------------------------

pt 2 coming soon (probably)

[daydreaming-nerd]

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 12

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Wow this took longer than I thought because I JUST graduated college, which has been a hard transition for me. Also in one of my grad photos I posed with ACOMAF and Fourth Wing and tagged both Sarah and Rebecca Yarros and REBECCA FUCKING DMed ME AND CONGRATULATED ME! So yeah that was insane.

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Smut, mating bond being accepted, territorial Cass, angst for Rhys

Word Count: 5,535

“And this is really what you want?” Rhysand asks me for the one-millionth time. 

“Yes brother,” I assure him, taking his hands in mine. 

“No ornate, over the top mating ceremony? No wedding with all seven courts in attendance? Need I remind you that you are the Princess of Velaris, The Jewel of Prythian. I am the High Lord of Night, simply speak it and it is done,” Rhysand fusses. 

I can’t help but laugh at his eagerness to lay the world at the feet of his little sister. He had already given me our mother’s sapphire encrusted diadem as my something blue and had the small temple decorated in faelights and night blooming jasmine. I could practically smell the sweet flowers from the other side of the double oak doors before me. If I peeked through the crack I would see my handsome mate, my cousin, Azriel, and Amren, all waiting for Rhys to walk me down the aisle. 

“Rhys, I already had a larger than life wedding. I want this one to be intimate and sweet, just my family,” I assure him and I see his shoulders relax. 

“I’m sorry that Autumn Court traditions didn’t allow me to walk you down the aisle last time,” he smiles, offering me his arm, which I take. 

“It’s okay that was just the practice wedding,” I tease, bumping into his shoulder. 

Rhys barks out a laugh, a real one, a sound I hadn’t heard from him in a long time. He looks over at me one last time, taking in my appearance before placing a kiss on the top of my head, “You look beautiful sister. Cassian is truly a very lucky male.”  

I smile, smoothing my dress over one last time before the double doors open to reveal the beautiful temple and my mate turns to meet my gaze.

The soft faelights cast a warm glow throughout the temple and the smiling faces of my family meet me as Rhys leads me down the aisle. Mor looks so happy she might squeal, Amren’s face dons a small smile, the biggest one I’ve seen from her, ever. Azriel looks at me for only a moment before turning his head to Cassian, watching his brother's reaction to seeing his future wife and mate.

Cassian was dressed immaculately, in one of the many jackets that he wore to the Autumn Court balls. But I didn’t care much about how he dressed, I was more focused on his eyes, how they glassed over as I walked closer to him. Such happiness and joy that lie in them, like he had been waiting for this day for many years. 

As I step up to him Rhys passes my hand to Cassian’s with a knowing glance. My general looked down upon me like I was the most precious thing he ever beheld. I squeezed his hands tighter to assure him that I was real. 

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, my love,” Cassian smiled before turning to the priestess. 

I don’t have time to say anything before the priestess begins to speak, seemingly more eager than the rest of us. 

“We gather here today to bear witness to the union of these two beings. If anyone should have any reason why these two shall not be joined please say so at once.” the priestess says. 

“This is also the time when I remind everyone that I have a knife,” Cassian says under his breath, earning a laugh from all of us. 

“Very well,” the priestess giggles. “Do you, y/n, youngest sister of our High Lord Rhysand and Princess of Velaris, take this male to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you shall live?” she asked me. 

“I do,” I smiled seeing the love pouring from Cassian’s eyes as I slid the simple gold band on his finger. There might have been five other people in the room but I couldn’t care less. Cassian’s hands gave mine a gentle squeeze, his way of showing me how happy he was to hear me say those two little words. 

“And do you, Cassian, General of the Night Courts Armies, take this female to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you shall live?” the priestess asks, looking at Cassian. He didn’t even notice her. 

“Hell yeah I do,” he laughs, earning a laugh from our family once more as he places his mother’s ring on my hand. 

“Princess if you would,” she said, gesturing to the small blackberry tart on the plate before her. 

When I asked Cassian what he wanted as his official mating offering he didn’t hesitate to ask for a blackberry tart. I was puzzled at first until he explained that we met because of a blackberry tart. The first day he saw me, reading on the couch of the townhouse he and Azriel had come over because my mother had made us all blackberry tarts.  It was after  his story that I realized he had thought about this for a long time.  

I picked up the small pastry off the ornate plate and offered it to Cass. He plucked it from my  hands like it was made of porcelain and took a bite, berry staining his lips. I couldn’t help but reach a  hand up to wipe the mess from his face. 

“Congratulations you two, you are now mates as well as husband and wife,” the priestess smiled fondly, taking a step back.

“C’mere you,” Cassian smirked, pulling me into a kiss. 

His mouth melded against mine, and immediately things felt…different. They were deeper, stronger. The bond between us seemed to glow even brighter.  I felt Cassian dip me, in order to kiss me deeper, earning cheers from our family, especially Mor. When we came up for air I felt like my skin was on fire, the need to touch and feel all of my mate consuming my very soul. Like all moral code I had was thrown out the window. I barely felt it when we broke apart for air. The only thing bringing me back to reality was Cassian’s hazel eyes darkening. 

“Rhys I’m sorry to say this, but I’m going to go fuck your sister now,” Cassian jested picking me up bridal style and walking back down the aisle. 

The sound of my brother’s protest and the family’s laughter followed us as we launched skyward the cold night air whipping my dress around. The stars seemed brighter tonight as we flew over the Sidra, making a beeline for the House of Wind. It wasn’t uncommon for mating ceremonies to end so abruptly, but most of the time the couple would give their thanks to all in attendance before caving to the frenzy. Then again since when were Cassian and I a normal couple?

We landed on the terrace of the House of Wind and the second we were on solid ground Cassian kissed me, not even stopping to put me down. 

“Cass put me down!” I laughed between kisses. 

“Over my dead body, we're going straight to our room,” he smiled storming off towards the door. 

That’s right, our room. I had moved all my things into his room just yesterday. Thankfully he didn’t have much of a wardrobe so my thousands of dresses fit perfectly. 

The house thankfully opened our bedroom door for us, but it closed promptly with a slam as Cassian’s foot kicked it shut. I felt my feet finally touch the ground as greedy hands roamed my waist. 

“You are truly the most beautiful bride, I am so lucky to have you,” Cassian beamed, taking in every inch of me. 

“I’m far luckier to call you my mate and my husband,” I hum, kissing him again as I begin ripping the buttons of his shirt open. 

“That’s right you’re my wife now,” he exclaimed, kissing me deeply. “I’ve waited so long to call you my wife y/n, you have no idea.” 

I felt his hands wander to the buttons of my dress, he fumbled with a few before the thing was ripped in two, buttons ricocheting off every wall and surface in the room. I gasped as the cold air hit my bareback.  I took a step back to reveal my surprise for my husband, one Mor insisted I needed tonight. 

As the intricate wedding dress pooled at my feet my white lingerie was revealed. I remembered when Mor took me shopping at her favorite shop, she claimed it was nonnegotiable, and as Casssian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head I could see why. 

“Fucking hell,” he moaned closing the distance between us by grabbing me by my waist. “Pinch me baby there’s no way you’re my wife,” he said, wandering his hands up and down my body setting my skin on fire. 

“Why don’t you get on your knees Cass,” I whisper in his ear, knowing his second surprise is waiting for him there. 

My general, and the Lord of Bloodshed, falls to his knees before me without even a protest. His eyes fell directly on the garter I was wearing on my thigh. Seemingly plain and white, but I smirked as his eyes widened once again as he saw the customization on it.  

Embroidered on the garther in red thread, read one name. 

‘Cassian’

“You’re going to kill me princess,” he groaned, pressing his head against my thigh.

I couldn’t help  but laugh at his reaction to the fabric around my thigh as I ran a hand through his hair, “So it’s safe to say you like it?” I ask.

“Like it? I fucking love it baby. I’m fucking you with this one tonight.” He smirks leaving open mouthed kisses on my thigh. 

“Damn it that thing is scratchy,” I giggle. I wasn’t lying, the lace had been rubbing against my leg all day. 

“Then allow me to take it off for you,” he said, pressing a kiss just above the lace. “Can’t have anything marring my princess’ perfect skin,” he smirked before grabbing the fabric with his teeth and pulling it down my leg. 

The sight of his dark eyes locking on mine as the lace slid off my leg was enough to have my knees buckle. Thankfully his hands on my hips kept me stable as the garter slid off my foot. He chucked the thing clear across the room before standing and picking me up in one fell swoop.  

I couldn’t help but giggle as he laid me ever so gently on our shared bed. Staring down at me, taking in every single inch of me. 

“My beautiful, beautiful mate,” he breathed, leaning over me to press a kiss to my lips before trailing his mouth down my neck. “Beautiful, exquisite, and all fucking mine,” he groaned accentuating each word with a kiss.  

“Cassian,” I breathed, feeling his mouth traveling to where I needed him most. “I need you now,” I pleaded. 

“Shhh not yet wife, I want to taste you first,” he grinned placing a kiss atop my clothed core before sliding the white lace down my legs and discarding it with the garter. 

A series of kisses lined my core before he parted my folds, licking a long stripe up the center of me flicking his tongue at my clit causing me to arch my back off the mattress. He took his time, swirling and suckling on every part of me. When his fingers slid into me slowly but surely it had me crying out in pleasure. 

I  looked down to where my husband feasted on me, his eyes staring directly into mine. He watched my every reaction to his tongue and his hands as he brought me closer and closer to the gods themselves. Those hazel eyes turned dark brown as they devoured every gasp of pleasure I let out.

“Cass I’m going to-” 

“Cum baby, I want my wife to cum all over my fucking face,” he growled thrusting his fingers into me faster. The change in his voice was so drastic, so deep it had me doing just that.   

I knew the fae were more primal, more needy during their mating but I had no clue it would be like this, no clue I would love it as much as I did. As I came down from my high I realized how badly I needed him unleashed, needed all him. 

“Fuck you taste so fucking good mate,” he groaned licking up whatever juices I left over. 

“Cass I need you,” I said with a guttural sound that didn’t even sound like me.

His eyes snapped up from my cunt to me, somehow even darker than they were moments ago. He crawled up my body, a look in his eyes that could only be described as pure male pride as he said with a smirk.

“Yeah wife? You need me?” he grinned, placing open mouthed kisses over my collarbones. 

“Yes Cass, I need you. I need all of you,” I pleaded, my nails raking down his now bareback. When his shirt had come off? I didn’t know. 

“I’m not myself right now y/n,” he gritted, trying to show restraint. “I’ve never needed you as badly as I do now.” 

“Take me Cass, I want you unleashed,” I begged, pulling him closer to me, just needing to feel his skin brush against mine. 

His pants were quickly discarded to wherever my clothes had gone and I felt his hard cock brush against my stomach. I found myself subconsciously bucking into it like my body was forcing me to. He thrusted inside me in one motion filling me to the brim and causing us both to let out unnatural sounds. 

“Ah oh god’s Cassian, it feels so good!” I cried, finally feeling the relief of having him inside me. 

The only response I got from Cassian I got was a low growl as he started rutting inside of me. The sensation was almost too much to take. I knew that once the mating bond was accepted sex was  different. There was nothing in the world that could compare. It was part of what made the mating bond so special. 

As I felt Cassian thrusting into me, and heard his moans of pleasure as my walls clenched around him I wondered if I would ever get enough of this. If I would ever be truly satisfied. No wonder they called it the frenzy, I could sleep with him inside me and I would still need more.

“Holy fuck baby you feel so good,” Cassian grunted, his face tightening in the process. 

“Cassian!” I screamed, unable to remember anything but the name of my mate. 

“Who’s fuckin pussy is this?” he roared, setting a brutal pace. 

“Yours Cass,” I cried, feeling myself falling over the edge at  his words. 

My orgasm ripped through me like a tidal wave, the pleasure branding my every nerve as I felt the aftershocks all over my body. I had never felt this way before.

“Fuckkk,” Cass moaned, sitting himself inside of me as I felt his load coat my walls. 

He collapsed beside me cradling me to his chest, both of us sweating and breathing heavily. My legs trembled from the aftershock of my release. 

“Shit princess, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Cassian asked, tilting my chin up so he could assess my face. 

“No, no I’m fine,” I assured him before collapsing on his chest again. 

“I’m sorry I got a little rough there, it was-” 

“The bond,” I said, finishing his sentence. “Don’t worry I feel it too.” 

The heat returned to that spot between my legs and suddenly I needed to be closer to him, even though I was lying on top of him. I lifted my head to press kisses to his bare chest, my favorite activity to do. 

“Y/n if you don’t stop I’m gonna-” 

“I need you Cassian,” I said, cutting him off again with another kiss to his pec. 

His eyes lit up in amusement as he placed my hips over his already hard cock. I started grinding on him like my body was on autopilot. 

“Who am I to deny a princess?” he smirked, pressing a kiss to my lips. 

“We might be here a while,” I breathed, grasping his hair to pull him closer. 

“I can live with that,” he smiled.  

Cassian’s POV:

As expected the mating frenzy lasted about two weeks. Hell it would’ve been longer had Rhys not sent Azriel to break up the love fest. Apparently, there was still work to be done and my presence was needed at Windhaven. Devlon had been slacking in recruiting new troops, and with a war looming, and no Autumn Court soldiers to aid us, that wasn’t going to fly. 

Thankfully with a few ass kickings, Devlon finally got his shit in gear, and more Illyrians were being recruited and trained. Every day I flew up to impart my wisdom and of course make an example of a few of the older soldiers who thought they were ready for battle. 

The days were long, but it only made coming home to my mate all the more sweeter. I used to come home to an empty bed and a glass of whiskey, maybe even a female if I was lucky. At least I used to think I was lucky back then. Nothing compared to seeing y/n’s smiling face as I walked through the door every day.

 Sometimes she would be reading a book and I could sneak up on her and kiss her on the cheek.  Other times she would sneak up on me and wrap her arms around me before telling me I was stinky and needed a bath, a bath she always happily joined me in. One that was more fucking than it was washing. 

“Princess, are you almost ready?” I asked her, knocking on the bathroom door once again.  

With things in the camps finally starting to run according to schedule I finally had time to train y/n as she had asked me to. I couldn’t believe that she thought I wouldn’t want to. I had never been more proud of her for wanting to give herself that freedom, that peace of mind to know that she could defend herself if need be. I was grateful to be the one to help her. So grateful in fact that I went out and bought her some Illyrian training leathers.

She nearly squealed at the sight of them, but the second she touched them her face contorted. She told me that she was scared to wear them because even though she was half Illyrian she didn’t have wings. To which I explained to her that if anyone dared say a word about it they would find their head on a pike. Not that I thought anyone in Windhaven would dare insult their general’s mate. 

“Yeah I think so, are they always this tight?” she asked, throwing open the bathroom door. 

I had seen my mate in lavish dresses, wedding dresses, lingerie, and nothing at all, but seeing her in Illyrian fighting leathers? It was going to be a lot harder to keep my focus than I thought.

“Cass?” she chimed, snapping her fingers to get my attention. 

“Oh- um,” I stumbled. “Yes they are, they create less drag when flying and they keep your opponents from having something to grab onto,” I explain to her, unable to keep my eyes from wandering over her body.

“I suppose that makes sense,” she said, turning to look at herself in the mirror one last time. “I’m ready to go then.”  

We made our way to a terrace giving Azriel a wave as we took flight. It might’ve been faster to winnow to Windhaven, but I didn’t mind flying with y/n in my arms one bit. Not when I spent days thinking I never would again. Not when this relationship between us was so new. I still felt like it would be ripped away from me at any given moment, Cauldron knew everything else in my life had been. 

The weather in Velaris was beginning to warm up as spring was approaching, but in the Illyrian mountains there was still snow on the ground. As we neared Windhaven I felt y/n shiver and instinctively pulled her closer to me. I hadn’t told Devlon that we were coming to use the sparring ring and the practice grounds. I didn’t need to, I was the general, and more importantly y/n was their princess. Granted a princess they had never seen before, but still their superior nonetheless. 

Confused faces graced every man woman and child as I touched down at the edge of camp with y/n. They had all of course heard stories of y/n, maybe even seen paintings of her, but they had never once seen her in the flesh. Even though news traveled slowly here it wasn’t hard to guess who she was, not with all the stories of her beauty. I remembered Eris recounting one…

“Eyes like a storm, skin soft as rose petals and hair like threads of silk. The Jewel of Prythian and the weakness of every male…”

As we walked through the camp I understood why y/n hated large crowds so much. I remember she once told me that walking through a ballroom felt like being a painting put on display. As we walked hand in hand I noticed that every pair of eyes that found her also found me, which set me on edge. I looked down to see her blissfully unaware like she was completely unbothered by their stares. Still, I would keep on my toes. 

We approached a rogue training ring near the edge of the camp, and I felt y/n’s body language lighten as she ran over to a rack of wooden weapons picking up a sword. The look on her face was so enthusiastic I couldn’t help but smile at her. 

“You’re not quite ready for that one,” I laughed watching her swing the sword around like a toy. 

“Are you kidding me? Does this look ‘not ready’ to you?” She challenged, pointing the sword at me.

I cocked an eyebrow at the dull wood pointing at my chest. In one movement I grasped the end of the practice sword in one hand and pushed her down with the other. She fell to the mat with a thud, looking up at me like a toddler. 

“Hey!” she protested dusting herself off as I put the fake weapon back with the rest. 

“You asked me to treat you the same as I would any of my troops. Are you taking that statement back?” I challenged her. 

“No I just didn’t know you were going to push me,” she huffed. 

“Oh, I’m gonna do a lot more than just push you, princess,” I laughed ruffling her hair which was in a simple braid. “If you want to wield a sword you have to be strong enough for it. Which means we're going to be working on those muscles first.” 

“Okay let's do it!” she exclaimed. “Where do we start?” 

“You, start by giving me three laps around camp to get warmed up,” I said sitting on a nearby rock. 

“You’re not joining me?” she asked, crossing her arms. 

“And miss the view of you running away in those pants? Not a chance princess.” I smirked, getting comfortable where I sat. 

To my surprise, there were no further protests as she collected herself and began running around the camp. I was right about the view of my mate running in those tight Illyrian leathers, it would be a miracle if I let those things get home in one piece. 

Y/n ‘s first lap around the camp was a quick one, I forgot to tell her that it wasn’t about getting the laps done quickly, it was about warming up. I supposed that learning from one’s mistakes was the best way to learn though. Once she got through her second lap she had slowed down and by the time she came back to the mat her breaths were ragged. 

“By the cauldron how do you do that?” she asked out of breath. 

“That was three-quarters of a mile princess, my warm-up is five miles,” I laugh standing from the rock. 

Her eyes nearly pop out of her head at my words. She straightens up trying her best to control her breaths. 

“Now drop and give me twenty push-ups,” I said pointing to the mat. Y/n raised her eyebrows and started doing her pushups as asked. 

It wasn’t until a few moments later that I became acutely aware of the presence around us. Without turning my body from where my mate did her exercises, I lifted my gaze to find women and soldiers alike staring at y/n. I tried to act as if I didn’t see them there, turning my attention to my wife once more where she stood, wiping the sweat from her brow. 

“Good now let’s try something else,” I said, walking over towards the rack of weapons and grabbing weighted gloves. “Put these on and let's see how you’re able to swing.” 

I watched as she tied the gloves on and tried to hide my smile as the things flopped around her small hands. I could get her custom ones made later but for now, these would do. She put her hands up like she was ready to fight me and I helped her adjust her position to one that she might actually use.

“Alright now I’m going to hold out my hands and you’re going to punch in sequence, right, right, left, right. Do that over and over again.” I instruct her to hold up my bare hands. 

“Aren’t I going to hurt you though?” she asked, peering from behind her gloves. 

“One day you will,” I laughed. “But I promise I can handle a beginner. Now come on, lay a couple on me.”  

She cocked her head to the side as if she was still questioning my toughness, which was a slight bruise to my ego. Once she did the sequence a couple of times and I didn’t so much as flinch I could feel pride floating down the bond. Like she was proud to have me as a mate. 

My thoughts were interrupted as the interlopers aside us continued to ogle and whisper about us. Their numbers having doubled since the last time I looked. Y/n was completely focused on the series of punches, muttering the order under her breath. I couldn’t help but try and listen in on two females standing by us.

“Is that the princess?” 

“Why would the princess be here with the general?” 

“I’m not sure but she looks like a painting of y/n that I’ve seen before.” 

Y/n continued her exercises until I stopped her, as I wanted to try out a different sequence. I corrected her stance once more and made sure she was holding her fists properly before she picked up on the new pattern. My eyes flitted to a group of three or four soldiers looking at us and listened to their exchange.  

“Who the hell is that with the general?” 

“I think it’s the princess.”

“That’s not the princess you idiot, why would she be here? Rhysand keeps her locked up tight.” 

“Well, whoever she is I’m definitely taking a piece of her before I go home,” 

The male who made the final comment flared his wings as if to try and get y/n’s attention. 

I dropped my hands feeling a few of y/n’s lingering punches bounce off my chest before she realized what was happening. 

“Hey I was doing good!” she protested, attempting to raise her weighed down hands in the air. 

“Yeah that’s enough training for today,” I said tightly before sweeping her up in my arms and taking off into the air. Weighted gloves and all. 

“Cass!” she shouted over the winds. “What was that about? We just started!” 

“The whole camp was eye fucking you, we can train at home. I’ll bring some weights and equipment tomorrow,” I grumbled remembering the male's greedy eyes. 

“You territorial Illyrian prick!” she laughed, smacking me on the chest.

“Hey cut me some slack! The mating bond is still fresh!,” I laughed and the second I said it I saw  the understanding fill her eyes. 

“You’re lucky you’re so handsome,” she sighed leaning her head on my shoulder. 

I gave a small chuckle as we continued the short flight home. Training could start up again once we arrived at the townhouse. It would be easier to train her in private and more fun for when things got a little…well…heated.

y/n’s pov: 

Today marked a day I had hoped would never come. Feyre’s wedding.

When I told my brother of the planned event he said that he was well aware of his mate's upcoming nuptials. I begged and pleaded with him to call in his bargain with her just once, just to give the female a chance to get to know him, but he refused. Even Cassian told him of the pain he felt when I married Eris.  But Rhys was steadfast in letting Feyre be happy, and in the end, I let him do it, for every time I spoke her name there was a sadness in his eyes I couldn't stand to see. 

“Hey,” I said quietly, stepping onto the balcony of the townhouse where Rhys stood. 

Cassian sat dutifully inside waiting for his brother with a glass of whiskey. It was going to be a long night, and he had offered himself up as Rhys’ drinking buddy, an offer my brother happily took. I just wanted to speak to my brother once before Azriel took me home. 

“Hey sis,” Rhys said, looking worse for wear. 

As usual, his image was perfect. A perfectly tailored suit, hair set in place, a clean shave. But his eyes held all the sorrows of the world. Grief I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I realized that this is exactly how Cassian felt the day I married Eris, and in that moment my heart broke twice. 

“Cassian’s inside with a couple of bottles of whiskey,” I gave him a half hearted smile wrapping an arm around him. 

“That was nice of him,” Rhys grinned weakly, tugging me closer to him. 

“Don’t give him too much credit he stole it from your liquor cabinet,” I laughed looking up toward my brother. I barely recognized him in this state. 

“Why am I not surprised,” he said, turning toward me. “Do you and Mor have everything you need for girls' night? You have enough wine and snacks right?” 

“Rhys,” I said, squeezing his hands. “You don’t always have to be so brave, you know? It’s okay to grieve. Especially with me, we promised no more walls, no more secrets.” 

I saw his violet eyes begin to glass over as he took in my words. In a way I was happy he felt he could be vulnerable with me again, that he didn’t have to wear the mask with me. However, I was sad that these were the circumstances. 

His arms pulled me into a tight hug and I felt his body shake ever so slightly, either in relief or in sadness. As I felt a drop on my bare shoulder I knew it was the latter and it killed me inside. 

“I’m going to lose her forever. She’s my mate and I’ll never even get to hold her.” he cried, his voice breaking. 

“Rhys I’m-” 

“I’ll have to sit here and watch her love him for the rest of my life,” he breathed. 

All I could do was hold him closer as I felt him breaking in my arms. The misery he felt echoed throughout the Illyrian mountains, and I wondered if today would be the day they finally crumbled. Before I could even try to console my brother he straightened, releasing me from his grasp and staring into the air behind me. 

“What? What is it?” I asked, grasping his shoulders.

“I-It’s her. It’s Feyre.” he stumbled as if coming to a shocking realization. 

“What’s wrong, is she hurt?” I panicked, willing to follow him anywhere to ensure her safety. The female wasn’t just my brother's mate, she had saved him from under the mountain, saved all of us, and saved me. I owed her my life.

“She wants to stop the wedding, she’s begging for someone to help- anyone to help.” Rhys rambled looking around him as if he was looking for some sort of sign. 

“Rhys… RHYS!” I shouted finally getting his attention. “Go get her,” I pleaded with him. 

Before I could get another word in he disappeared into a cloud of shadows, no doubt going to the Spring Court. Going to his mate.

To be continued…

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Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always @crystalferret202

[queenofallimagines]

Lucifer if you were a Luciferian before coming to the devildom

as a devotee I think this would be fucking hilarious bc I’ve seen people do “hail Satan” shirts but hear me out-

** a treat before part 2

Lucifer:

- probably will not recognize you off the bat

- Like he’s like “oh ok it’s you” but it doesn’t connect that your HIS

- Like he’s under a lot of pressure right now and stress

- Is pleasantly surprised that you listen so well. Probably gets smug that you listen so obediently

- Sees his sigil on your necklace or something and then it hits him like a fucking BRICK

- Especially if he peeps you doing stuff for him out of habit

- Goes back to look at your file and is like “holy shit I’m literally your patron”

- Will bring it up to you and ask why you don’t make a big deal of it

- “I mean I was already used to living with you? This ain’t much different”

- Ngl in the beginning he would manipulate you about the stairs bc your a good little disciple you’ll do whatever your deity says right?

- But that wouldn’t work bc his first and most basic belief is fuck blind obedience and to question things when uncertain

- Honestly a “fuck I taught you so well but now your using it against me” situation

- Will ease up that you don’t have bad intentions but he’s going to protect his brothers first and foremost

- Will really keep using the line “do not forget that you belong to me” when he’s trying to intimidate you

- But your used to him dragging you to get your life together to its very ineffective

- Gets really frustrated that you already know his nitpicky strict habits because he likes punishing people and lecturing so the fact that he can’t do that to you to be petty really bothers him

- Gets kinda flustered about spending time with you because he’s so used to knowing everything about your life you getting to see him in his home feels too vulnerable for his liking

- Will ABSOLUTELY bring up embarrassing stories about you

- “Ah, remember when you were asking me to help you get a date? Because I definitely do”

- “Me and your ancestors definitely talk about your questionable taste in men”

- Please use this opportunity to be like “this you🤨” because he will have no answer

- “So what the fuck was you sending me all those 11:11 for😐 please elaborate”

- “…. I don’t know what your talking about”

- “What was the reason for you giving me that headache?”

- Will literally Triple his pride when y’all start being intimate

- You’ve given him a god complex but don’t call it that he will get an attitude

- “My most devoted worshiper letting me use them how I wish”

- Will use that as an excuse to fuck you everywhere

- Likes that you have jewelry with his sigil on it or anything you wear for him

- Feels like a collar, letting everyone know you’re his

- Pulls a mammon and calls you “My human” a lot

- Very overprotective

- Probably makes a pact with you In secret before the end of the program

- Like you guys basically already had one why not make it official??

- Especially if he reached out to you and not the other way around? Lmao yeah your definitely his

- If any of the other brothers find out they WILL moan and groan about you not working with them

- Mammon and asmo are the most vocal

- Might end up having to get stuff for them and your altar too love :/

- They will give you stuff to put up there along with a candle

- Congratulations you now are working with 7 demons and they are all very needy

- Belphie will use that as an excuse to take a nap with him all the time

- “Your doing this in devotion to me cmooooon”

- They all will use that card with you actually lmao good luck

- “Mc! Come watch this anime with me! Your doing it in worship of me so you have to😌”

- Mammon had run that excuse dry bc sir doing your homework does not count as a devotional activity 🙄😒

- Lucifer will brag that it was fate that you were brought to him

- Will also pretend that he chose you on purpose knowing damn well he didn’t 😂

- “But of course I had to choose you, I knew you were the best option.”

- You literally didn’t even look at the name on the paper 😭😭

[darkcircles4lyfe]

This doesn't have anything to do with anything, but i had a talk with a friend a few days ago, about shonen biasis and the way this shapes our expectations, and mha came up so i remembered how so many people apply those biasis HEAVILY into the manga, to the point that they sound like they're looking for a different story.

And one of those things that it seemed to be MOST talked about is exactly bkdk's relationship.

I have seen many times people from the fandom (sometimes really angrily) point out how in most cases Katsuki seems to basically take up not one, but four roles in Izuku's life and this includes putting him in situations that people associate with the MC's love interest, and it is weird that, despite Izuku "having a girl" for people to make assumptions about, he seems to completely repulse any female character that could be the counter part to Izuku's.

And this made us wonder if Katsuki's placement in those roles and lack of interest was made specifically because the author precisely did not want the actions that both do for each other as romantic but a whole another thing entirely, as a subversion for the these classic tropes, as he did by making the conflict between Ochako and Himiko not a "rivals fighting for the affection of a boy" but something that is connected to the plot of these characters instead.

Oh you bet! I am always down to talk about this, because I think about it a lotttt.

This reminds me, recently I remembered a funny habit I used to have with books I read. Like, back in middle school. I used to start by flipping directly to the last page and reading the final sentence. Usually this did not spoil anything whatsoever, but sure enough, by the time I read through the whole book, that sentence would take on new meaning.

So I started musing about what it would be like if only I could do this with bnha, if everything was already out. It made me feel so nostalgic…

Will the last panel be something grand, or something small? Hopeful or sad? Distant? Intimate? A parting message to the reader? Will it look like almost nothing of consequence to the unknowing eye—yet burst with hard-hitting subtext?

Of course I wonder about all the twists and reveals that might be still ahead of us, but it’s kinda soothing to think about how the whole thing could be put to rest. Because then I realize I’m not worried.

For once, this is not because the story is following so many tropes so predictably that I know exactly, in so many words, how it will end. It’s more like the story is a close friend who I’ve gotten to know well enough that everything they do is so “them” it makes me smirk. I'm often marveling at how Horikoshi has managed to pull all this off. How is it that (at least here in the west) people who aren't really paying attention call it basic and cookie-cutter. Even a Japanese animator called it "classic," and this interview shows such obvious dissonance between Hori and the interviewer, just... wow. But it's so clear that bnha has broken just about every rule in the book at this point, so much so that I struggle to condense it into words. I'm like--*gestures broadly at everything*--why haven't more people picked up on it??

Yet we still get bombarded with people saying "it's a shonen, c'mon, we all know how this will end." Um. No you don't. I KNOW there has to be a bunch of people who are secretly frustrated by Kacchan taking up all the roles and getting all the moments. It's not even in a mysogynistic way, because Kacchan is the most anti-dudebro character imaginable. Bkdk's relationship isn't intended for them and they know it... and you know what, I'm starting to ramble. You've heard all this before. The thing I should really be focusing on in your ask is the part where you mentioned how you and your friend were speculating about bkdk ending up as "a whole other thing entirely" rather than simply romantic.

Well, fuck it, I've been biting my tongue, but now might as well be the time I talk about this. I got into a bit of a disagreement with someone over it once and then I shut up. Because it's very difficult to approach the subject without being lumped in with those people who see bkdk as "brotherly" (ew) or otherwise try to push some "crisis of male friendship" agenda, or at the very least without being accused of enabling people to make excuses against bkdk being canon ad infinitum. So let me be clear that I do NOT want bkdk to have an ambiguous or open ending. I want their complexity and importance to be acknowledged. I want them to use their words. I think we may have created a bit of a false dichotomy there.

I am aromantic, and to suggest romantic relationships are inherently the most important and intimate goes against every fiber of my being. I also reject the idea that cut-and-dry gay representation is more desirable just because it is more easily understood by the masses than aspec representation or representation of relationships "beyond" both romantic and platonic. We recognize how ridiculous it is for people to expect Izu*cha at this point, right? Well, the reason they're so confident anyway isn't just because of heteronormativity. It's also because of amatonormativity, the assumption that romantic attraction trumps all: no matter how much focus bkdk get, Izuku blushed at Ochako, so that automatically makes them more "important." THAT is the notion that I want to challenge most. More than anything, I want bkdk's relationship to be fully acknowledged because they have so much more going for them than just attraction.

You and your friend make an excellent point, that it would be very much in line with Horikoshi's taste and the patterns of his writing so far if he chose to subvert the shonen romance trope not just by giving it to two boys, but also by disregarding its premise entirely. It's unlikely he'd try to stuff them into such a copy-paste ending right at the end.

So maybe they won't get the blushy confession, the obligatory kiss, the wedding, the 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. That's fine, we shouldn't pretend those tired tropes are suddenly revolutionary just because they're gay. But don't be disappointed! Without them, we have more room for things that are actually personally meaningful to bkdk to stand out and receive the nuance they deserve: talking through their feelings openly, building each other up like no one else can, understanding each other like no one else can, smiling at each other, embracing, holding hands, rushing to the other in the hospital, being glued at the hip (or even closer), healing mutual trauma, putting each other first in all things. Maybe we'll also get confirmation on Ochako's side as she moves on from her crush on Izuku. You know what other shonen manga took this exact angle as a way of subverting tropes and presenting genuine complexity? Blue Flag! There are so many ways to do bkdk justice.

Even a kiss isn't out of the question, if the right opportunity comes along. A perfect example of what I'm talking about is Good Omens (major season 2 spoilers) because the kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale was not at all about canonizing them. It was an expression of pain and desperation that just made sense at that particular moment. Neil Gaiman was adamant that if it took that kiss to understand the context of their relationship, you really weren't paying attention. I respect the hell out of that.

Recently I was even daydreaming about bkdk getting something similar to the sort of uh, shall we say tasteful nudity, that togachako got, because of how Izuku appears in the vestige realm.

Ya know like not in an nsfw way but in like a "this is so deeply intimate and soft that I feel like I'm intruding" kind of way... yeah. Because it represents vulnerability and openness and acceptance of someone as they are. And I don't care if people call that bait. It's not. It's beautiful. It’s honest.

[zenovoid]

How Genshin Men Would Propose to You

Characters: Zhongli, Scaramouche, Childe

[Fluff, no TW’s, gn!reader]

————————————

Zhongli ————

He’s 100% the more romantic and intimate type, so it’s very likely he’d propose when the two of you are alone.

He would take you out on a nice walk in the morning, subtly leading you to the place he had set up for his question.

By the time it’s noon you’ve settled down at the side of one of the many lakes in Liyue. He had taken the time out of his day to make your favorite food and set you two up on a soft and thick blanket filled with your favorite colors.

The two of you hang out, have fun, trade stories and such until the sun comes down. When the stars begin to show themselves something about Zhongli changed.

“My dear…” he whispers to you, staring at the sky. “I’ve lived many centuries and i’ve witnessed many of the stories shared today. I have my favorites, but there is one i’ve yet to live. A dream I wish to live. A dream i want to make a reality.” He stares at you with his beautiful amber eyes, stars reflecting in them. He reaches into his pocket as he leans a little closer to you. “I love you, so much. My dream is to live with you for the rest of your life. My dream… Is to have you as my wedded partner.” He pulls out the most beautiful ring. The band is made of pure silver, and the gems are carved from a cor lapis. The amber tones of the stone reminds you of his eyes. You stare back at him, smiling, “I would love to marry you, Morax.” He smiles, this is indeed the happiest moment of his life.

————————————

Scaramouche ————

He’s a soft little menace. Just mean enough, but also just caring enough. He’s got that tsundere energy man i’m telling ya. Popping the question would be VERY hard for him. He’s just scared that you’ll betray him just like the others… But one day, he finally gets over his fear. He wants you- and he will make you his.

When you wake up you notice he’s already gone, with no traces to where he’d left. Slight panic ensues as the thought of him getting kidnapped raced into your mind. You start looking around, slowly calming down as you don’t see any sign of struggle. It was noon when he came back, and you started overwhelming him with questions.

He seems… different today. Uncharacteristically shy and reserved. You wanted to see what was wrong, but, maybe it was best to leave him alone for now.

Just as you begin walking away, he grabs your wrist with an unknown look in his eyes. You stare back confused, that’s when he starts speaking.

“L-listen! You better put your ears to good use now you hear me?! I’m only going to say this once!” He seemed very nervous. Your heart began to pound. “You’re such an idiot, following me around and giving me such… amazing things…” He took a deep breath. He looks at you in the eyes, he has the most loving look you’ve ever seen. “I can’t believe i’ve fallen for such an idiot, but i have. And i see now that it’s never going to change. I… I love you! And I want, no, need you to be mine! Mine and mine alone!” He quickly pulls out a ring, averting his gaze. It’s so pretty! The band is a rich gold with small sango pearls imbued in it. At the center, framed in gold, is a gem made of crystal marrow. You take it from him and put it on, “I love it! And i love you!” You hug him tightly, “I would love to be yours, forever and ever. I love you Kuni.” He hugs back.

————————————

Childe ————

We all know he’s a big flirt and tease. He’s very likely to propose to you in the middle of a busy street tbh. But it seems like someoneee (zhongli) knocked a little sense into him.

As per usual, he took you out for a luxurious evening. You expected him to take you to yet another fancy restaurant, don’t get it wrong, you like the food. But it’s been a while sinc- what. You stare, pretty stupidly ngl. He brought you to your favorite restaurant. “What the fuck.” You say. He just smiles and leads you inside. Yeah something fishy is going on.

Of course he offers to pay for everything, so you naturally don’t hold back at all. You’ve probably ordered six or seven different things by now, but you can’t help it! This shit is amazing! Your eyes dart over to Childe, who’s smirking.

“What?!?” You say, preparing to get a flirty response. But instead, what you get surprises you beyond belief.

“I love you so much. You’re just so cute and sweet.” He reaches over to grab your left hand, slipping something out of his sleeve. “My love, allow me to make you mine.” He slips a ring on your finger. You look at it in surprise. The band is silver, with some beautiful shining blue gem you’ve never seen. You look at him and smile, “You really are something Ajax.” You kiss him. “I would love to be with you for as long as we live.” He giggled as his smirks again, the light returning to his eyes.

[lai-mar]

You know, I really appreciate that you’re out here defending this widely hated relationship. Maybe it’s because the anime-only fans are a very vocal majority right now, but I’ve seen people who ‘watched the anime then read the manga’ *still* shit on Laios and Marcille’s friendship. Like you don’t have to ship it but if you deny that they care about each other or deny that they have chemistry, did you even read the comic?? ‘Oh they’re just siblings/siblings-in-law!’ have you ever had a sibling. have you ever had a sibling-in-law. they do not act like siblings they act like *intimate* best friends. ‘Ridiculously comfortable around each other’ best friends. They have a relationship outside of Falin, that is what develops over the entire damn story. 90 chapters. What comic were you reading where you think Marcille can barely stand him.

Thanks for the ask! Very cathartic to see this. About to go on another rant again lol (will be repeating some of my old points but yeah I need to get it out of my system)

"Defending widely hated relationship" + "anime-only fans are a very vocal majority"

Okay, let me play devil's advocate for a second here. Let's say I despise L/M as a ship and it squicks me out greatly and I think it's a boring ship of pairing the male lead and the female lead. What should I do? Obviously go into L/M posts and argue about it instead of blocking the tag and stating my stance my calmly when someone asks me like your average fan who knows how to curate their fandom experience.

Okay, more devil's advocating. I despise L/M as a ship but I have read the manga and engaged with it critically and understood its themes. Which means I like L+M as a friendship in the same way I like the themes of eating and life cycle and the friendship between the party and the worldbuilding. Because all of these are core parts of the story told. So what I do is to block all shippers and ship tag and look for platonic fics and fanart like Your Average Fan Who Curates Their Experience.

Like I'm sorry. I genuinely feel some people are so caught up in the intense fanonisation of DM that they start forgetting about canon. And I KNOW I am not the only one feeling this way because I read the notes on my posts and other people's posts and there's a lot of good thoughts on this. Plenty of people appreciate them. But to some people in the wider fandom, are we reading the same manga? Our male lead and female lead are friends who save each other. They are not together canonically. So canonically, they don't even get into the way of shipping?????? People can have important intimate friendships outside of romance??? And it's a canon well established friendship? I would say it's one of the most well developed dynamics in the series that we see? We get shown and not told? We see images and words and interpret them in our brains?

Devil's advocate level 3. Let's say mainstream fanonisation of DM is real. F/M is a canon ship and they get together and they get married in the end and L+M become sibling in laws. Maybe L/K is a thing. This still does not erase the entire journey L+M and co went on to save Falin. This still does not erase their friendship and chemistry.

"‘Oh they’re just siblings/siblings-in-law!’ have you ever had a sibling. have you ever had a sibling-in-law."

Okay. I do have a sibling. At this point I've long accepted this much be some sort of cultural difference and some weird American / Western thing I am not used to. And the hilarious thing about DM is that we do get canon siblings!!! It's the fucking premise! Falin and Laios!! And they're fun!

I'm sorry but this must be some cultural difference. Like no younger sibling is calling their older sibling by their GIVEN NAME. The sheer disrespect. I'll be scandalised. As a person with a sibling I don't understand the fandomisation of making non related people siblings in fanon? I'm calling my friends my friends, not siblings. My sibling is like a sibling to me. My friends are like friends to me. Idk. I've written the word sibling so many times that it doesn't seem like a word anymore.

Obviously these are just my personal thoughts but I feel like objectively, there has been a fandomwide trend of grabbing a canon friendship between a man and a woman and going "THEY ARE SO SIBLINGS CORE XD" (not siblings in canon) (not related) (don't even look similar) (they're friends). A lot of times this is valid and even fun but sometimes I get the feeling people sometimes push the fanon sibling thing to show they're squicky about them romantically. To which I can only say: a man and a woman can genuinely only be friends. If you need to magically make them related so you / other people won't see their friendship romantically... it feels like a step back. Why are we doing heteronormativity.

I think I'm the type of person who enjoys and mains man + woman friendships in fandoms (which are, unsurprisingly, unpopular as ships and even as friendships until I start spreading propaganda and pumping fics on Ao3), and I think one of the things that get me is. A man who could be attracted to women + a woman who could be attracted to men having great chemistry but staying friends. I want to stress this is different from a man who is not interested in women / romance + a woman who is not interested in men / romance because there is almost zero chance of a reciprocal romantic relationship going on. But for the first case, which I feel like many people dumb down to "straight people shipping", it's even more precious for them to stay friends and not give into the heternormative expectations despite one or both of them possibly (but not necessarily) being heterosexual. Like, here are two people who could date each other but they're like "nah we work better as friends, so we stay friends". To me, this is one fantastic argument for friendship. Not everything has to be romantic. Even better if they considered and thought about the logistics, but decide their relationship is more special non romantically. Having a taste of how their relationship could go and going "thanks, but no thanks". Is this not a great display of sincere and stable friendship compared to people going "lol they can't work as a ship because they simply physically cannot tolerate the thought of each other romantically". I'm rambling here but I feel like this is what I feel across various dynamics and fandoms. At this point, I think somehow non romantic relationships genuinely fascinate me more than ships. Save me QPR save me.

"They have a relationship outside of Falin"

I feel like some manga readers have missed the point so badly when it comes to this. It's hilarious. They have a relationship outside of Falin it's the whole fucking point about coming to terms with grief and death! You know, one of the core themes of this story that you finished!

And of course this doesn't erase the love they have for Falin. Falin is clearly beloved and their main motivation, but hilariously enough (for the L+M deniers), the manga shows Laios and Marcille's "true" innermost desires being granted and it's not about reviving Falin even though they both clearly want her back and it's at the forefront of their minds. Laios turns into a monster. His curse isn't about Falin not coming back (even though that was his immediate thought), it's about him not being able to interact with monsters ever again. Marcille was traumatised by what happened to Falin (nightmare chapter) but when she turns into a dungeon lord, she goes about trying to fix the lifespans, showing her fear of loneliness and all her loved ones (NOT just a single person!!!!!!!!) dying before her. You can argue they didn't revive Falin with magic lord powers because they don't trust the lion / trust their own plan of eating her, but I think the manga focuses enough on their desires for the interpretation of "the lion fulfills their innermost desires that define their existence" to work. Marcille is the one who finds Laios first after he turned back and Laios broke Marcille free from the lion's influence etc etc we know they play a part in each other's arcs. Laios says they wouldn't be on this journey if Falin hadn't been digested. Marcille says in the end she was okay with Falin not being brought back this time. Laios invites Marcille to stay with him. It's in the text.

"Boring straight ship" or whatever

This comes from what a friend said about my main duo of another fandom but it's like "why isn't [ship] more popular" "because it's easy to fall into the boring trope of pairing a man and a woman together".

And this is a thing that does happen! But not to pairings with strong canon foundation and chemistry sorry. Don't look at me, look at canon. A male/female ship with good canon support is a good ship. Why are you surprised. People like shipping characters who spend lots of time together saving each other and all that. Dare I say: sometimes (sometimes) shipping "straight people" is more respectful to their canon friendship than shoehorning them as siblings. Which I believe is true in the case of L+M.

Anyways. Well that was a nice angry rant. Sorry I had to get it out of my system. I've spend too much time writing this so I won't be doing much proofreading lol. If you've reached this point, thanks for reading <3

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Out of all the siblings, legolas is the slowest to anger (this is a hc about my au). Unless you legitimately do something to piss him off, like put his loved ones in danger, he will take everything in stride with an air of nonchalance. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s immortal and thinks it’s way to exhausting to get mad at every little thing. Especially given the circumstances of him growing up in greenwood/mirkwood where there’s always something happening.

As a result, on the quest legolas comes across as very casual about the quest to those who don’t know him. Bc on one hand, yeah it’s an important task, but on the other hand he isn’t really afraid or interested in fucking up bc he let his emotions get out of control.

Besides, outside of Aragorn, Legolas liked the questers well enough, but not to the point where he’d rage at someone threatening them. That changed more over time, obviously, but the fact of the matter is that in the beginning he would have sacrificed any of the walkers, minus aragorn, in a heart beat if it meant succeeding. Thankfully, he isn’t so paranoid or malicious that he felt he would need to, so he just stayed the nice, casual, chill elf he is throughout the quest.

I cannot stress enough how, on one hand, yes, legolas knew and thought the quest and subsequent battles important, on the other hand: fuck it, it’s just a normal day for him. What’s one more battle?

Not enough troops? Outnumbered? Dirty and tired and hopeless? Well damn, that’s happened so often at that point he doesn’t bat an eye.

Legolas is intimately familiar with the death and despair the likes of sauron causes, so he chooses the act positive, he chooses to be casual and happy. He’s not oblivious to the growing shadow, he just refuses to let sauron dictate his life any more than he already is.

It does result him in looking very flighty to his cowalkers though.

*at aragorn and Arwen’s wedding*

Faramir, musing: you know, legolas is much less serious than i would have thought an elf to be. He’s a very light hearted and happy individual and i don’t think i’ve seen him mad at all during the time that i’ve known him. Even during the battles against sauron.

Silvan elf, who overheard him: no one’s managed to piss him off in over a century, and that’s a good thing. Trust me, that’s not an elf who’s temper you want to test, because once you do, it’s quite terrifying.

Eomer, approaching them: really? Because i know i made him mad when i had threatened gimli during our first encounter on the plains.

Silvan: *snorting* trust me, if he actually felt threatened, he’d have lobbed your head off before you even finished drawing your weapon. It’s just a good thing it wasn’t one of his siblings on this quest instead of him. The rest of them are not only 10 times as quick to anger, but are also a lot more vicious and deadly.

Faramir: is that so?

Silvan: yeah, don’t get me wrong, legolas is definitely strong even for most elves, but his family’s just straight up made up of monsters, and he is the weaker one. Not weak, just the weakest of that family.

[littlemisslipbalm]

Demonology - Part 4

Just Like Heaven -- Jake x f!Reader x Josh

Series Summary: A new demon has come to Nashville. Josh and Jake's ways of life have been thrown off by her arrival. The angel and demon have lived with an understanding of one another, but with Y/N stirring up trouble and asking questions, they're forced to work out a new normal. And why is she so powerful for a human turned demon anyway, that's unusual, right?

A/N: heyyooo new chappie! I do not have the next one written at all unfortunately so it may take awhile to upload but thank you to all who read...to all those who have been wanting to fuck angel!josh...lets just say your prayers may have been answered. lmk what you think :)

Chapter Summary: Flashbacks and angel sex and demonic anxiety attacks OH MY!

Word Count: 3.9k | Warnings: Smut (pretty explicit) 18+ always!!!!, explicit language, alcohol consumption, dubious understandings of demonology like always (sorry!), Josh and Jake chapter yay!, angst and plot!

Join the Taglist! | Masterpost (catch up on the rest of the story here)

Part 4: Just Like Heaven

1972. Los Angeles, California 

4 years before she died. 

Y/N was having the time of her life. Rori was in her arms as she sat on the side of the Forum stage, atop an amp, swinging her legs back and forth to the guitar riff Jimmy was winding down. 

She hollered and threw her head back, in awe and joy. She was coked out of her mind and a little drunk but she was oh so free. 

At 21, she’s been in this world of musicians and lovers and adventure, making trouble, for around six years. From lead singers to roadies and fellow fans, she’d made a lot of friends. Everyone around most of the theaters in LA and Inglewood recognized her by then. 

She didn’t have to say her name at a single door or even have a name on any list. When people saw her coming they let her in, knowing a wicked good time was about to be had by everyone. No one ever had a bad thing to say about her either. It was incredible. Wicked. 

So it confused her when she was taking a smoke break at the side stage door and a guy in a black leather duster and dark sunglasses didn’t seem to notice her at all. People loved talking to her, she often felt like a bit of a celebrity. And her hazy mind made her feel a little indignant that he didn’t even chance a look as she stood beside him smoking a cig looking as sexy as ever. 

Half way through the smoke, she glanced to her right still feeling his presence and growing more agitated. It was strangely just the two of them out there. Both smoking. She couldn’t bear the quiet. 

“Hey, cowboy.” 

He finally looked over when she spoke and she grinned her best smile. He nodded a curt nod and took another drag, turning to face forward again. 

She worried her brow and twisted so she was fully facing this guy. It was curious rather than malicious when she asked: “What’s your deal?” 

He threw another glance her way but she couldn’t see his eyes with the dark-tinted sunglasses he wore. “Sorry?”

“Are you new over here? I’ve never seen you around before.” 

He chuckled and she wasn’t sure what she had said that was funny. He flicked the butt of his cigarette across the alley, the cherry fizzing out as it glowed for a moment and faded into the night. 

“C’mon man,” she whined. “Give me a clue.” He couldn’t be a rockstar even though he had the look about him. She knew them all. Intimately. 

“Friend of the devil.” He shuffles his glasses to his breast pocket and in the light it looks like there’s a flash of yellow in his eye, but she thought that was just the drugs messing with her as she tried to focus on the stranger. 

“Oh! Dead and company! I’ve always wanted to make it up to San Francisco. They just keep me so busy here.” She is alight with excitement. The Grateful Dead were pretty incredible even if she’d never seen them. 

“I’m usually out in Nashville. But San Fran sure is…a scene.” He shrugs, noncommittal in his words, unsure himself why he was entertaining this conversation. 

“So you really don’t know who I am?” She’s simpering, teasing in tone as she twists her legs, lengthening her body against the brick wall. 

He won’t look at her but she can’t stop looking at him. His hair is long and pretty, a little unruly, but he’s beautiful. His silhouette is illuminated by the street lamp, leaving him in intense shadow and light. His prominent nose, his strong jaw, and his sunken eyes. He was the prettiest thing. She thought she’d never forget him. 

“This is Los Angeles, correct?” He chuckles again, looking down his nose at her. “I find it hard to believe that you think any old stranger would just know who you are.”

“I’m pretty notorious.” She leans her head to the side, still showing herself off for him, but he doesn’t seem affected. 

“So am I, doll, and you didn’t know me,” he raises his eyebrows. “So maybe let’s call it even.” 

“Deal,” she grins, extending her recently freed hand towards the man. She shook it at him as he looked at it reluctantly. “C’mon, baby.” 

He shook his head in disbelief. She was strange. A mix of sweet and sour. Pure and evil. Strange but he took her hand nonetheless. She bit her lip at the touch. He was cooler than she’d expected but it was welcome. 

“You wanna come?” She asks after a moment, not letting go of the stranger's hand, nodding towards the door she’d exited less than 10 minutes ago. “I can get you in to meet Jimmy and the boys. Jimmy’s real nice.”

He chuckled again, removing his hand from hers with a tug. “Another time. I was just passing through.” He pushed off the wall and chanced another glance back at her face as he moved to place his sunglasses back on. 

“Catch you on the other side!” She called when she caught his eyes, gleaming yellow once more before he disappeared. She hadn’t realized the corner was so close but she didn’t think about it twice, hearing one of the boys calling her name from inside. 

-

Present Day. Nashville, Tennessee 

47 years after she died. 4 months since she’d been back. 30 minutes since she’d left the dive bar. 1 hour since Jake had left her.

The moon was still high in the sky when Josh got home from the bar and was in the middle of taking off his blood-ridden shirt in his entryway. He wasn’t sure if it was salvageable and as he was inspecting it with disinterest, the last thing he expected happened. A soft knock sounded. Y/N was at his door. 

Hurrying to the door, he opened it a crack, eyes wide and mouth ajar. Shirtless despite his efforts to stay behind the wood. She smiled shyly, unlike herself. 

“How did you know where I live?”

“You said ‘come over, anytime I need’. Is now not anytime?”

Josh chuckled, “Yeah, I just hadn’t expected you to take me up on that invitation, what, a half hour after I’d extended it.”

She bit her lip, feeling the emotions flowing off Josh already. “Well I need it. Can I come in? I think we have some unfinished business.”

“Damnit,” Josh sighed to himself, hanging his head and opening the door wider. She made him weak. 

She smirked and tried to channel her excitement into casual cockiness. Like she’d always known he’d fold. “Isn’t swearing wrong, Joshua?”

“Shut up,” He shook his head, locking the door again and meeting her in the dimly lit hallway. “I can’t believe you came here. Like this.”

She had changed on her way over. A body-hugging slip dress barely covered her skin. It was an iridescent light blue satin. Josh couldn’t take his eyes off her body. She had dressed it up for him.

“I realized I wasn’t ready to say goodnight.” She replied, allowing him to back her up into the cream wall. Her hands reached up to play with his necklace, fingering the shiny beads. “And I can feel that you wanted to see me too. I felt you at the bar, watching me and Jake. How you wanted it to be you. I can feel you.” She breathed the words softly, their breath mingling with the faces inches apart. She pressed her hands against his warm chest. “You radiate towards me. Constantly.” 

Josh hummed, fingers dancing over the silk concealing her waist. Beneath was the skin he couldn’t take his eyes off of all night. She was right. Because of Jake, because of her, but mostly because of himself, he was about to screw his greatest temptation. Maybe still half in spite of Jake tonight. 

Josh thought she must have come to his apartment immediately. She must have known his resolve was at his weakest. A few drinks in and jealous, needy for her touch and here she was stepping onto his doormat, presenting herself for the taking. She made doing the wrong thing too easy. But, Jesus, all he thought about at night was her and the images she’d shown him, wishing they were real. Wishing he could forget all about her. 

She pushed her hips towards Josh's, pressing them even closer together as he rested his forehead against hers, taking a deep breath. Exactly how he’d wished he’d been in Jake’s place at the bar.

“This is wrong,” Josh’s voice is shakey, fanning hot against her skin.

“This isn’t wrong. This is right, I swear. Can’t you feel it,” her voice is sickly sweet again, whispering just for Josh. “It’s okay, Angel. It’s okay to want me. I want you, too.”

“What about Jake?” Josh selfishly wanted to know where his brother fell in this equation. He took solace in the fact that she was with him instead of Jake but he didn’t know if that should actually reassure him.

“What about Jake?” She repeated. Her eyes stare into Josh’s with a scary intensity he’d never seen from her. She knew he’d overheard what Jake had said. Never again. He must have heard it. 

Josh swallowed and she caressed the skin around his throat where his Adam's apple had moved. She smiled. 

Maybe he was trying to prolong the inevitable. The sin he was about to commit. That he couldn’t come back from. Maybe if he talked about Jake enough she’d leave him for his twin. It was something he both wanted and couldn’t stand. His voice is choked up, pinched. “Won’t he mind?”

“He made it clear he doesn’t want me…again. But if you’re worried about him, Angel, it can be our little secret. Now kiss me, sweetheart. I know you want to.”

The way she called Josh that pet name made it sound like a curse but it still made him press his lips against hers. Fervent and desperate to taste her again. He pressed into her more and she opened her legs, allowing his to slip between hers, slotting them closer than ever before. Immediately she ground down onto the thick of Josh’s thigh, relieving the pressure growing in her core minutely. 

“Dear god,” Josh gasped when he pulled away from her for a moment. 

He could feel her wetness on his thigh already and the press of her hardened nipples against his chest. She grinned at him, her smile fucked out and devious. This was exactly what she needed. He was exactly what she needed. 

“They’re not here…Take me to your bedroom, Joshua, and have me anyway you want me. My treat.” She nipped at his lower lip and he felt an ache in his chest and his pants. She was sin incarnate and he couldn’t wait to taste it any longer. “Please.” 

“Oh,” He whispered, but she caught it. He was too close to miss a thing. The ‘please’ had gotten him.

His fantasies were becoming reality and grew tenfold in front of his eyes as they made their way to his bedroom. Drapes of white and cream extended around it. Votive candles in golden vases and holders were scattered around the room and offered a warm light. They illuminated his floor to ceiling bookshelves, filled with hundreds of books, and paintings of foggy serene landscapes in lilac and robin’s egg blue. It was beautiful, but she couldn’t be fucked to take the time to appreciate it all. Her mind was filled with Josh. 

“You’re so wet,” Josh mumbled, pressing his thigh into her center again as he laid her gently down on his sheets. 

She grinned up at him, her hands wrapped around his neck, curling into his soft hair. “So this isn’t your first rodeo, angel?” 

Josh pecked her lips and moved to litter tender kisses on her cheeks, jaw and neck. “I’ve had a few committed relationships over the years,” he mumbles. “They couldn’t exactly last, though.” 

She nodded in understanding, petting over the nape of his neck and over his broad, strong shoulders, creamy skin. Soft as silk. 

He inhaled deeply, taking her in. “This dress,” He ran his thumb up and down the fabric on her hip. 

“Just for you, angel. I know how you hate all my black and red.” 

“S’not that,” He kisses down her chest, kneading her breasts through the fabric and then slipping a hand down between her legs. 

“Then what is–oh! Oh fuck!” Her hands gripped for purchase on Josh’s shoulders. Her thoughts derailed. 

Josh’s fingers had slipped between her folds and swirled around her clit. “So wet,” he repeated and she groaned, in disbelief this was happening. “No panties.” 

She hummed in agreement, body beginning to work with his fingers with small thrusts. “Was hoping I wouldn’t need them. And I was right, wasn’t I?” 

“Dirty, dirty demon,” He whispers, breathless at the feeling of her heat. How his fingers feel inside her, thinking about what it will feel like when he sinks in. He burrows his face into her neck, laving kisses into her skin, feeling thankful. “So good, baby. Oh, wow.” 

She whined at his words. She wanted to worship Josh as he began to fuck into her every way he needed after he made her cum the first time with his fingers. He was so strong and powerful, yet so gentle with his touch. It was long, a strong ocean wave, pounding into her steadily, filling her with his heavy cock. Angelic strength and stamina. The room seemed to glow a golden light emanating from every inch of Josh’s skin. The same gold as the fading sun on that same rippling sea, where the light catches the movement just right and it’s pure reflected light. She came three more times before she began to feel Josh let up. A little. She was feeling euphoric. 

He wanted to switch positions. It was the one his fantasies often drifted to. Her dress had been discarded on the floor a long time ago. Her beautiful body was on full display for him as he whispered in her ear how he wanted her and she giggled, practically purring in compliance. 

As she moved to turn around, her eye caught something in the dresser mirror. The golden light that emanated from Josh, bathing him in a shiny glitter that stuck to his skin, had fallen onto her own skin. Together, they were both bathed in liquid gold. Instead of angels and demons, she swore they resembled gods, gods caught in the most human of acts. 

Hands and knees on the bed, she presented her ass towards Josh and stretched her back. Lengthening her torso, she leaned her head down into the sheets. Josh watched her move, lithe and practiced. Breathtaking. Unmatched. He was catching his breath at the side of the bed, one leg already bent on the bed and the other keeping him standing. His eyes couldn’t leave her body. He would’ve fucked her forever if he could. 

She wiggled her ass and whined his name, effectively getting his attention and breaking his reverie. He thrust into her from behind and she moaned out and he grinned, smoothing his hand down her naked ass and lower back. She pushed back on his length, meeting him in the middle. 

“Good girl.” He mumbled. His hands spread her ass checks and got lost in the trance of their bodies meeting. How he disappeared inside her and how her body welcomed him, never wanting him to leave, sucking him in deeper and begging him to never leave. How could something feel so right be so wrong? 

“So good, Josh. Fuckin’ me so good. Thank you, angel.” She breathed, eyes fluttering shut in ecstasy. “Love it, love you…” 

Josh was sure he misheard her. Surely she hadn’t just said–he was distracted by his imminent orgasm that led him to a different headspace all together. He moaned as he came inside her and she whined in agreement. “Let it all out, baby.” 

She hadn’t even heard herself. 

When Josh woke up the next day, he was naked and alone in his plush bed. His eyes scanned the room, feeling calmer. Maybe that had just been a really weird and vivid dream. He tried to believe himself until he saw the satin blue dress on his floor. Oh fuck.

He threw himself back into the pillows and covered his face with his hands groaning into the silence. He’d gone somewhere he couldn’t come back and now he was left in the after of it all. 

Picking up the evidence of the previous night, he wandered around his home, muttering to himself and feeling immense shame. As well as another emotion. He longed for Y/N. Why had she left him before he had woken up? 

No note. Just the dress which he assumed she didn’t want now that it had done its job. It wasn’t her color after all. 

Josh showered off the remainder of the evidence from last night, gold flecks drifting off his skin and swirling down the drain, a river of gold shame. 

-

She tiptoed back into her apartment around sunrise after leaving Josh’s. She couldn’t bear to face him in the light of day. He had bestowed the exact gift she had longed for since she’d laid eyes on his glowing skin, but it felt wrong to lay with him afterwards. 

She had waited for his breathing to even, his mind going to another place, before she untangled from his angelic body. Something had been repeating in her head the moment he had finished in her for the final time. 

She wasn’t good. She was wrong. She had led him astray. 

She had expected pure bliss to continue flowing through her when he had laid beside her, caressing her skin gently with sweet innocent kisses placed against her temple as he mumbled a song under his breath. It was beautiful and tender. She wanted to be at peace. 

Instead, she felt disgusting shame. Like she has done something terribly wrong. It made her skin crawl. She didn’t understand the sensation. She didn’t feel this feeling. Ever. As a demon or as a human (or whatever Josh and Jake think she was). 

So he eventually fell asleep and she fled because maybe if she got away from him the feeling would go away. She didn’t have time to test that theory. 

Jake was sprawled across her couch with Rori wrapped around his chest in his chupacabra form, cooing to the animal until his yellow eyes flicked up to her figure. 

Clad in last night’s original red and black outfit and covered in gold, she stood in her doorway frozen. 

“Your animal was feeling neglected.” Jake lifts the dog off of him and sits up. “How was dear brother Josh?” 

She opened her mouth but no words came out, she just stepped inside and Jake shut the door behind her with his mind. She closed her mouth. 

Jake continues, eyes still gleaming as they flicked up and down her face and torso. “He’s all over you.” 

“Why do you care?” She finally manages to get out. 

“I don’t.” Jake smiles wickedly. “Just making conversation based on observation, kid.” 

“Get out of my apartment, I’m not in the mood.” She decides that being punished by Jake wasn’t helping her situation. 

“I’ve heard celestial fornication creates something of this,” he pauses, finger swiping along her collarbone, suddenly at her side. Their opposite shoulders were beside each other as he inspected the fine gold smattering of flecks that had come off onto his fingertip. “Sort. But I wasn’t an angel long enough for me to ever find out first hand. Not that they’re supposed to…is he okay now that he’s got his wings wet?” 

“Wh-what?” She steps back from Jake, still reeling from the night with Josh and the information at the bar and now Jake in her apartment. It all was happening too fast, she felt her head swimming. The room was too hot. Jake was too similar to Josh in this moment. Her eyes were blurring, it was like Jake’s face was shifting or morphing into Josh’s as she stuttered. Spinning around and around. “Wings…wet…what?” 

Jake’s eyes widened, the smirk on his face quickly sliding off as he watched Y/N, her eyes flickering in her head to black. She took another step back from him and this time Jake took a step forward, following after her staggering body. 

“My head,” She groaned, clutching a hand at her forehead, and Jake grabbed for her elbows, realizing she was about to collapse. 

“Woah, woah,” He says, carefully easing her body weight into him. “It was just some light teasing for bagging my angel brother, don’t go discorporating on me.” 

He carries her to her couch as carefully as possible despite his awkward hold on her, adjusting her so that he can sit by her legs and lean over her, staring into the abyss of her still black eyes. Rori is on the back of the couch, staring down at his master. One of Jake’s hands is smoothing over her forehead and then down over her hair as he inspects her. She can make out his snake-like eyes shifting quickly back and forth between hers. 

“Can you hear me, Sal?” He asks weakly, giving away his distress. 

Her lips part, “Did you just give me a fucking demonic anxiety attack?”

“I don’t think so…asshole,” He adds with a joking lilt in his voice, glad she was able to joke, meaning it couldn’t be that bad. “I don’t know. Maybe. This has never happened before?” 

“No,” She murmurs, reaching out to her dog to scratch at his ears–that servant of hell might’ve been wrong, this little monster might end up being her ESA. She takes a deep breath, still feeling a little overheated. “Maybe don’t ambush your colleagues from now on.” 

“I thought you were made of stronger stuff, kid.” 

She huffs and Jake bites at his inner lip at his ability to bother her, just a little. His demonic self couldn’t help the pleasure it brought even if he was also genuinely worried about her well-being. 

“Sorry,” he says half-heartedly. “Just wasn’t expecting to see you come home in eau-de-Josh.” 

“Yeah, well I wasn’t planning on it,” She says. Her eyes were slowly fading from black and back to her average color. “Going or you seeing me right after the fact.” 

Jake almost smiled and then quickly suppressed it, leaning back from her as she shuffled up onto her elbows. “Well this settles it.” He says with a finality that she doesn’t understand at all. 

What she wanted was some peace and quiet, but it seemed the universe–and Jake, had other plans for her. 

“What do you mean?”

“Now we really need to figure out what you are because my bet is that your little mystical panic attack is linked to the questions surrounding your powers and true parentage.” He runs a hand through his hair, before tapping his fingers against his lips. She could see the thoughts rapidly racing through his mind. 

“That seems like a leap,” She says, unsure. 

Jake leans closer and they are once again within each other’s breathing spaces. “Like I said last night. The things you do, including this, aren’t normal for demons. You are not normal and I fear that means you may be in serious trouble that we cannot even begin to fathom.”

Her eyes flutter at his words hitting her face. His voice was low and raspy, urgent. She licked at her lips and watched his eyes flicker to the movement. 

“So no pressure, huh?”

-

To be continued....

Taglist: @ofthecaravel @gretavanfreaky @sinarainbows @jaketlove @mysticalstarcatcher @whiterosekiszka @sacredjake @beingextraisfun @malany-gvf @joshysgirl @ascendingtothestarssasone @amygvf13 @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @alwaysonthemend @lvnterninthenight

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Feelings: Paris

Okay so everyone goes on about how beautiful and masterfully done the Paris love-making scene is, and that’s absolutely 100% true. I’ve seen comments and reactions that say they feel like they’re intruding and they need to leave the room, and all I could think was “Well that means everyone did their job perfectly.”

I wanted to share a bit on how I felt watching the scene.

Note that this is pretty personal and not me analysing it, it’s just my feelings on it.

My culture and environment are really conservative and traditional, so families don’t talk about sex. My first real exposure to it (besides biology class and the few explicit fanfics I innocently stumbled upon) was a talk at school when I was 14.

Now, my school is a Catholic all-girls school, so one point of the talk was the whole “don’t have sex until you're married thing” which I later realized is an antiquated notion: honestly as long as it’s safe and consensual, let people decide what they want to do with their own bodies.

But that aside, that talk was actually pretty good, and I was really focused on the speaker, because other than the religious notion, they also talked about safe sex, which biology class only touched on briefly and is always a good thing to learn about, and the part that I remember the most: the emotional aspect of sex, or more appropriately named in this circumstance, lovemaking.

 The speaker said: “Having sex with your romantic partner, is saying wedding vows, making a declaration for love, with your bodies.”

I don’t know why, I didn’t entirely understand it, but I found that description beautiful, and remembered it.

Down the line I grew to learn that there are different ways to have sex: it can be fun, it can be passionate, it can be painful, whatever. And among the very limited sex scenes I’ve seen in shows and movies, they mostly kind of imply they’re doing it but never show what’s happening, which is okay with me, and also, I never really watched a sex scene that matched what the speaker said, which, again, okay. It's different, it's fine.

But when I watched RWRB and I got to the Paris love-making scene?

All I could think of was that quote.

“Making love is saying wedding vows with your bodies.”

This felt like that. This felt intimate, delicate, careful. But as much as it was the first time for Henry and Alex, it felt like some sort of consummation, there's some sort of beautiful finality to them. A moment going from “me and you” to “us”. In every facial expression, every flex of fingers, every breath and beat, you can see Alex and Henry falling more and more in love, bit by bit, second by second.

I haven’t had a romantic relationship in my life so far, and while I don’t identify as ace or aro, sometimes I don’t understand the appeal of sex.  

But this was a moment where I watched it and went “Oh.”

“This is why people in love have sex.”

Seriously I cannot praise this scene enough. I feel like there should be awards for this scene alone. Round of applause of everyone involved in working on this scene, this ended up being such a masterpiece.

Sidenote: I was writing this, looking at gifs of the scene, and listening to You Matter to Me from Waitress and I started tearing up, what the fuck

[thelaurenshippen]

this is perhaps an exceptionally silly post to make but: it took me 8 and a half entire days (204 hours over 5 years, out of the over 600 hours I’ve logged on this game), but I’ve finally actually completed Red Dead Redemption 2. it is bonkers to me that I have spent so much time in this world and only NOW have I seen the very last teeny bit of dialogue that rounds out the story (iykyk). it speaks to the depth and breadth of the universe that rockstar created (and also the true grinding pain of some of the challenges (those fucking teeny tiny goddamn hunting request birds)) that I was STILL discovering new details in a game I know better than any other.

all these years on, since that fateful day in late 2018 when I bought the game after my friend Jordan spent weeks convincing me I would love it despite not liking westerns (oh the fool I was), I can safely say that this game changed my life. I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time, but it was one of the things that dragged me out of one of the worst depressive periods of my life, that provided some relief in one of the worst bouts of insomnia I’ve ever experienced (though probably not doctor recommended lol), and opened my eyes to what storytelling could be on so many levels. I rediscovered a childhood love of console video games that had been dormant for years, got into other pieces of media I never would have tried that led me to truly deep fandom spirals and friendships I couldn’t live without, and inspired me to write a story that is, to date, the story I’ve had the most fun writing in my life.

this is not the end of my time spent in the world of red dead, not by a long shot, but it does feel like a culmination. it was so fun running after this somewhat arbitrary accomplishment (there’s still so much left to do! how!) and a wonderful reminder of how the best art can sustain us forever, even if not all of it has endless challenges to do and herbs to pick. and I hope this post can be a reminder to any artists out there that you never know what your art is going to do. a AAA 100+ hour video game made by hundreds of people can feel like the most intimate story to someone who needs it; a story you write on your own and share with only a few people can open up a world inside someone's head that they'll never stop exploring. a serious contemplation on humanity can be someone's relief; a shoot-em-up action adventure can bring someone peace. you just don't knonw. so always make your art and share it, it will find those who need it most.

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

Hi! Do you have a favorite ship for each Boyd character?

I am sorry this one took me so long!! Couldn’t be helped - I’m such a multi-shipper in general, and it was so tough narrowing these down! (And I still cheated a bit!😅 But here we go!!)

Steve Murphy: Oh man, it’s gotta be Javi. They’re coworkers with baggage!! There’s so many trust issues and the occasional bad blood but it’s clear this is also the most intimate relationship in both of their lives. These are lonely, obsessed workaholics who can only really take solace in each other. Plus, Holbrook staring longingly at Pedro Pascal will never get old. But I gotta give an honorable mention to Steve/Pacho Herrera. I mean - sexy, openly gay narco kidnaps DEA agent, proceeds to greet him soaking wet and shirtless, fresh off a swim. He made him a cocktail! Steve said they were good!!! How long did you stay there after, Steve?? Be honest with us!!

Donald Pierce: I am a HUGE multi-shipper for Pierce. I don’t think I’ve seen a Pierce ship that I don’t like! I like them all! But my all-time favorite has gotta be Gabby/Pierce. There really is an entire story with those two we only get little glimpses of – she calls him her boyfriend (although it’s unclear how honest she’s being in that scene), but more than that, they were *friends*! They were both comic book nerds! She managed to steal 20k in cash from him! They were probably so close at one point, and it implies *so much* about what Pierce is probably like in his private life, with people he trusts, because I cannot see Gabriela Lopez being good friends with somebody who exclusively acts like an overly masc mercenary asshole. Never gonna get over how the original script calls for Pierce to leeringly describe Gabby’s “long legs” and “long hair” to Logan, but Holbrook notably nixes that bit. There’s respect there! There’s love! There’s betrayal! It’s so good!!

Cap Hatfield: Aww so a friend of mine turned me onto Nancy/Cap! It really is interesting how this loyal little murder bunny decides to straight up tackle his beloved uncle for whipping her, and I do adore the idea of them getting together in some capacity later. I bet stone butch, maybe virginal, Cap would have a hell of an interesting time following the commands of a woman who absolutely knows what she wants.

Clement Mansell: Oh, Raylan/Clement for sure. Clement has a massive daddy kink and a need to prove himself to male authority figures in his life! Sweety/Clement has some similar potential, as Clement does really respect Sweety and wants to impress him, but ultimately Sweety is just not capable of handling Clement in the way he needs. Clement’s a brat that secretly yearns for someone to be able to just put him on his back and show him his place, and that’s Raylan!

The Corinthian: Oof, this one is so hard. I wanna ship this pansexual icon with all the characters!! Dream(both Morph and Danny)/Corinthian, Gault/Corinthian and Hob/Corinthian all really intrigue me for different reasons, but for some reason I keep gravitating back to Calliope/Corinthian and Rose/Corinthian, cuz I think Corinthian deserves a better god to worship than Dream!! I honestly can’t decide which one I ship more between those, *but* I’ll probably go with Rose/Corinthian just because of the sexy threesome potential if you add in Carl or the Good Doctor. (Rose and GD both topping Corinthian together?? GD sexily teaching baby dom Rose a thing or two??)

Eli Klaber: Oh Klaber/Voller for sure. Klaber is absolutely unhealthily obsessed with his boss, and there’s so much good fucked up potential there, especially how Holbrook describes Klaber as almost being suckered in by Voller offering him unconditional love for the first time in his life.

Ty Shaw: I’m in two camps here. For the sweet stuff, Sancholo/Ty is the way to go. They’re grieving together! They both played up how much they *totes hate each other*, but Sancholo was in on the whole bit with Ty the entire time! Sancholo probably had a puppy crush on Abby’s older brother when they were younger. It’s cute! Now, that’s all well and good, but god, in the fucked-up and dark column, Abby/Ty??? LOOK, the Shaw’s are welcoming and kind, but that family was also dysfunctional as hell. The mom didn’t really seem like she was parenting much - Ty and Abby seemed like they were almost the “mom and dad” of the household, and I love them developing this intense and unhealthy attachment/codependency.

Quinn McKenna: Nebraska!! No question. All those *looks* Nebraska was shooting his way?? Adoring and soft but hungry at the same time?? Nebraska thought he was cute and precious, and I love that Quinn pretty quickly starts getting attached to him, too. That conversation they had by the pool…! But you know, Predator/Quinn is spicy too 😌

[erraticalart]

Heavy and Medic Switch

Basically, how I view Heavy and Medic’s intimate relationship in a nutshell.

This was sort of based on a post that I heavenly agreed on but I also wanted to put my two cents in here. This is gonna be a long post about my journey with this couple.

https://www.tumblr.com/the-sound-of-progress/719703522999959552/i-just-wanna-say-youre-completely-changing-the?source=share

Let me explain: 

There has been a silly little debate about what activities Heavy and Medic do behind closed doors, especially their roles/positions. 

On one hand, there’s Team Heavy: he’s big, strong, and intimidating. He can rock your world (as well as your bed). On the other hand, there’s Team Medic: he’s professional, insane, and sadistic. He can take your breath away (as well as your virginity). 

Team Heavy has been there since the very beginning since he’s viewed and portrayed as the more “masculine” and “dominating” man. He may know a thing or two about sex (or not since Heavy spent most of his life in the Gulag, idk). 

Throughout the years, Team Medic has been sprinkled in from time to time since he may have more experience in this field (or not since he may be focused on his experiments, idk). He’s got a few tricks up his sleeves and may be skilled with techniques. 

Anyways, I’ve seen and heard from both sides, so I’ll tell you a thing or two from my experience.

When I first got into TF2 and was interested in HeavyMedic, I assumed that Heavy was like the oldest merc just because of his voice, height, and strength. (I’m stupid to think that’s what it means to be old and how they should be.) I was then wrong to find out that it may be either Spy or Medic (idk which tho). But I thought that it was a pretty interesting dynamic to have a serious, tall younger man and a crazy, shorter older man in a relationship and I think that’s pretty cute. 

Now when it came to same-sex relationships in smut art or fanfics, most people prefer the older masculine man to top since it’s more hotter, I guess. Back then, I enjoyed it but whenever I see or read a fanfic where it’s the opposite, I love it even more and I wasn’t sure why. Is it because the dominant one gets a taste of his own medicine or is it because I enjoy the reactions he gives or even both? I thought it was because the younger one finally gets to have a go at it. And ever since then, I clinged on to it and preferred it even more than the norm or majority.

And like I said, when I got into HeavyMedic, I was Team Medic, because I thought that Heavy is older and I wanted Medic to top (until I realized I was stupid). Ok, Heavy is younger and topping Medic so that means I enjoy it, right? Well... yes and no. Yes, because it was interesting to read and I enjoyed reading it, and no, because... well... I hate to say this but... 

It just gets repetitive.

I then ask myself, “What’s wrong? Why don’t I enjoy it as much as I used to anymore?” Is it because Heavy is bigger? Stronger? More masculine? Just what is it? Or is it because Medic is my main and my favorite character (Heavy’s my second favorite character, btw so aww) and I want him to have a piece of Heavy’s cake for once? Or maybe I’m just biased, I guess, idk. That could be the case until I read some fanfics that contains Medic and another person (let’s say Engie since I like the pairing tho not as much as HeavyMedic) and I noticed something different. Sometimes Medic tops and sometimes he bottoms (tho it depends on the person he’s paired with so results may vary). Now tbh, I never read a fanfic where someone else is paired with Heavy since I didn’t know who else was perfect for him so please prove me wrong when I say this but...

What are the chances/percentages that Heavy bottoms?

Most of the time, it’s pretty rare and look, I get it, I completely understand. He’s an impressive specimen. Who wouldn’t want Heavy to fuck them? Hell, I would too, tbh. But see that’s the thing. We all want Heavy to do something for us but we never considered doing something for him.

I read some Bottom Heavy fanfics where Heavy even expresses this issue and I sympathized with him for it. So whenever Medic (in this case) is there for him and does the deed, it leaves me in a good mood. And because of that, I was Team Medic (also like I said before, I just want to see Heavy’s reactions and eat it up as much as possible and, well, Medic is hot when he’s dominating him). Also, “Heavy and Medic Get It On” is an old-time classic and I love it.

Also, just because Medic is shorter or less muscular, that doesn’t mean that he should be portrayed as the more weaker or submissive one. The same goes for Heavy, just because Heavy is taller and more muscular, that doesn’t mean that he should be portrayed as the more stronger or dominant one. Let them both have a fair share of fun.

I then realized that a majority of my favorite HeavyMedic smut fics were Bottom Heavy based and again I ask myself, “Why do I enjoy it more than the majority of fanfics? Just what is it?” Until I realized something, I put all the pieces together. “Dominant one bottoming” “Majority” “Repetitive” “Chance/Percentages of bottoming” I soon came to this conclusion.

The reason I love Bottom Heavy so much is because it stands out more than other smut fanfics.

It just made so much sense to me now. And not just Heavy but other fanfics where the top bottoms. It was a breath of fresh air for me. And I don’t want to diss top Heavy but as I said before, it just gets repetitive to the point where that’s the norm and it gets a little boring. When I read it, I know what’s coming up so I know what to expect from it. So when I read one where Heavy bottoms all of a sudden, it just catches me off guard, leaving me surprised and yet impressed by it. And it leaves me wanting more.

And like I said before, I like Top Medic since it’s nice for a change and while there have been Top Medic fics sprinkled throughout the years I noticed that it’s slowly increasing in popularity and I’m happy that other people seem to like it as well.

However, just because I would love to see an increase of Top Medic fics, that doesn’t mean that I want Top Heavy to stop, slow, or die out. I’m not saying I hate it, don’t get it the wrong way or anything. I still love Top Heavy and I love how they interact especially their reactions (mostly Medic’s). I just want Medic to get a piece of that action, y’know? He may be old but that doesn’t mean he has no spark of energy in him anymore. He could become a beast if he wanted to. Let the old man have a go at it.

Also, because it’s just a silly little debate, I don’t want people to fight over who tops and who bottoms. That’s the last thing I want to cause. Besides, there are people who don’t like reading smut fics with them in it and that’s also fine. Not everything needs to be related to sex in a relationship especially theirs. It’s called having a normal life and enjoying it. I love reading fluff fics where there’s a strangers-to-friends, slow burn, friends-to-lovers, confession, dating, one bed/ sharing a bed, acting like a couple, being a couple, marriage proposal, wedding, couple life with or without a kid, and sadly even death/afterlife whether it takes place during or after the Gravel Wars. And of course, I LOVE reading stories where Heavy and Medic are just chatting and laughing in the infirmary during surgery (with Archimedes there, of course). This post is just focusing on when they’re in the bedroom. We are all different people with different headcanons. You got yours, I got mines. I don’t have to agree with yours and you don’t have to agree with mines. Alright? But I found out a little solution that may or may not solve this little problem and it’s much rarer than Top Medic/Bottom Heavy (just know that this isn’t the ultimate solution, but rather a small suggestion).

Switch/Versatile

What is this and what does this mean? Please correct me if I’m wrong or make a mistake. These two words may mean the same thing but just like how top/bottom and dominant/submissive compare, it’s different. Switch means you can either be dominant or submissive depending on the mood and versatile means you like to top and bottom. Most of the time when I forget, I just simplify both to switch to make it easy to understand.

I’ve read at least 3 smut fanfics where Heavy and Medic tend to switch roles and positions in the same chapter or story and tbh, I really liked them. Not as much as Top Medic but I really enjoyed reading them and just like Bottom Heavy it was a breath of fresh air, became some of my favorite HeavyMedic smut fics, and I would love to see an increase of it too.

Let’s wrap things up now. 

At the end of the day, if you were to ask me which team I’d prefer, I’d still say Team Medic, BUT I’m starting to lean more towards HeavyMedic switches. This is a copy-paste to when I replied to a random HeavyMedic post, but here’s why I love it.

“I see Heavy and Medic as good 'ol switches since they see each other as equal whether on or off the battlefield. HeavyMedic switches are also very rare in smut fics. In the beginning, Heavy says, "Get behind me, Doktor!" and ever since MvM, Medic also says, "Get behind me!" They fight together, help each other, heal each other, and make each other laugh so technically they should also please each other in bed.”

Also, it’s fun to read about what kind of whacky adventures they do together. They are both different beings who do different jobs and hobbies. One’s a heavy-lifter and one’s a doctor. Think of the many kinds of possibilities they could do to each other depending on the variety of settings to have full-on make-out sessions. It’s fun to get creative.

Technically if you really want to think about it, which team am I in?

Well, it’s a lovely, beautiful, sweet, short, simple answer that really means a lot to me that really brings it all together in the end.

I’m Team HeavyMedic.

Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far in the end. I didn’t think I would write this much so I apologize if this post is long. If there’s anything you need to say like an opinion or statement, make sure to reply down below. Just remember to not start a fight, please. We all have different opinions. 

Also, while we’re at it, someone once asked me if I have any Bottom Heavy fanfic suggestions and I in fact do! But it’s gonna take me a while to make a list of it and there are probably some fics that I missed so it would really mean a lot to me if you can help me by linking suggestions. It doesn’t have to be just Bottom Heavy, you can also include HeavyMedic switches. (Also, if you’re an author or writer, you can tag top/bottom/switches Heavy/Medic so some people can read based on what they want to see since people have different headcanons, but you also don’t have to so you can surprise the readers and I quite like the idea of it, but of course the choice is yours). And the links can be from any fanfic site. I found most on AO3 (I may have missed some so please help me) and I recently found some here on Tumblr so the possibilities are endless. Once I have everything I need, I’ll post it and I’ll probably pin it for some time. If I miss anything, be sure to message me or reply so that I can update the list.

That’s all I have to say. Thank you and goodbye!

[sleepingdeath-light]

his colour ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (22/12/21)

word count ; 524

content ; praise kink, piv sex, unprotected sex

fandom ; black butler

pairing ; joker x female!reader

read also on ; ao3

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

There was nothing that could compare to spending the night with your darling boyfriend: interlocked fingers — bone prosthesis and flesh — meeting above your head in an intimate gesture that perfectly complimented the way he looked down at you as if you were an angel amongst men; soft, kiss swollen lips colliding with your own and peppering kisses along your face and cheeks and jaw and neck, quirking upwards in that dashing smile you’d fallen in love with — broadening and twitching with every moan and whimper that escaped you; his unreasonably thick cock stretching you to the brink and even further beyond it, the dark head brushing against your g-spot with every stroke of his hips against yours — every slow, deep thrust into and out of you from root to tip.

Every thrust and buck coaxed a new wave of sluttish moans and whines from the back of your throat, each lewd cry punctuated by a whisper of his name that themselves had him grunting. Though, as you gradually approached your peak, you managed to find enough soundness of mind to start playing with his hair with your other hand, and start praising him. Telling him everything that you’d always wanted to, but that you’d never quite found the right moment to.

‘I love you,’ you managed in a whimper that he could barely hear over the sound of skin slapping against skin, ‘I love you so so much.’

‘You feel amazing; so so good,’

‘So handsome,’ you whispered, leaning up to press a chaste kiss against his cheek, ‘the prettiest man I’ve ever seen,’

And then you just started saying whatever came to mind, uncaring if it’s coherence as he continued to push you closer and closer to climax. Burying his nose in the crook of your neck as he flushed and moaned and groaned, hips stuttering slightly as he tried his best to hold back.

‘Love of my life,’

‘So big… fuck,’

‘Could spend forever here,’

‘Pretty boy,’

‘Love you, love you, love you,’ a chant that you repeated through gasps and whines and moans until it stopped sounding like words and you slipped over the edge.

And what a climax it was: heart pounding at a pace closer to a hummingbird’s wings than anything else; lungs burning like you’d inhaled pure flames and swallowed them down; vision blazing white and blurry, the insides of your eyelids tattooed with a light that sparked fireworks of that beautiful violet you adored; muscles in your abdomen spasming and twitching as your pussy fluttered and constricted around his dick, drenching him with your cum whilst pushing him endlessly towards his own end in the process.

In the moment only able to focus on one thing as he shifted to look down at you, smiling as he kissed the very tip of your nose. Orgasm-wrecked mind only able to process a single thought beyond the white hot pleasure flowing through your veins and the overwhelming need you had to pull him closer to you — closer than close, even.

He really was the most beautiful man you’d ever met, and you really ought to tell him more often…

[dballzposting]

I’m watching a subbed dragon ball and I DO NOT KNOW how to word this eloquently / I have no screenshots of proof so I’m just wondering if anyone else has seen dragon ball and has noticed this?

In the Piccolo Daimao arch Goku straight-up has some shit to say. Before he was all young and childish and goofy, and when it came to words he STRAIGHTFORWARD in a fight - when serious, he would state outright that he doesn’t have the patience for his opponents boasts + hedges + insults + general repartee.

But at the turn of the arch it seemed like the shock and grief of Kuririn’s death affected Goku immediately, and he suddenly had words to say. He began acting more like what we see in the BAD GUYS - the attitude that denotes their weakness and is assurance of their later defeat.

Of course the memories are fuzzy by now but off of the top of my head: He called Yajirobe a bastard, to which Yajirobe responded with his debut of “Hey, that’s my line!” He also was rash to assume that Yajirobe was his enemy, but that’s because well, he just got his shit thrashed by Cymbal, and he’s not thinking straight through the grief and pain and all.

I just kept seeing little things like that throughout the arch - like the grief had loosened his tongue, or matured him, or he’s just ageing naturally - Goku engages in repartee now all of a sudden. I feel dumb because I have no solid memories now but just believe me. When he was fighting Piccolo he said some shit that had me clutch my pearls to see coming from him. Altogether, Goku is exhibiting a newfound WIT WITH and FAVOR FOR words, and a confidence that when laced with his anger and impatience almost comes across as arrogance. 

My most recent (and therefore, extant) example is when Goku is facing Mr Popo. Just in the little I’ve seen thus far, he’s sort of acting like a classic dragon ball villain E.G. loser. When Mr Popo is able to land the first hit on him, Goku actually blames it on dumb luck, and assures himself that it won’t happen again. Yknow, like all the villains do when Goku is able to land a hit on them.

And then he actually starts to insult his opponent. Yknow, the type of behavior that Goku used to not have patience for, and used to be too virtuous/mature/honorable for, and he would at times ask his opponent to cease with the hot talk and to get on with the fight.

Goku is straight up sloppy, arrogant, and IMPATIENT in this fight thus far, and the shit he lets himself think is too close to the shit that always ends up costing some villain a victory.

I know this wasn’t eloquent, and I know that I failed to offer sufficient proof, but I’m wondering if anyone else noticed this as well and has some thoughts on it. It feels like a lot of things.

Goku is still caught up in the grief and pain of the ARDUOUS ORDEALS he just went through. It’s more to ask of anyone ever, and now he’s gotta do one more fucking thing. And we can understand his impatience, then. Furthermore, it does just feel like he’s gotten older. Maybe his brain is hardening, and all of his victories are catching up to his ego. He’s not his usual self of awe and admiration for a strong opponent - he’s seen life and death too INTIMATELY these past days and he’s TENSE. In all of this he’s found his words and is playing along with the warrior’s repartee that he’s been exposed to by battle after battle.

Did anyone else notice anything similar and take start by it?

[aeirithgainsborough]

I absolutely loved this episode of the last of us but it really emphasised how mean spirited tlou part 2 is and that it was heralded by people as such a masterpiece makes me feel violently depressed about what that says about the bleakness of life and this planet we live on. 

Never more than in this week’s episode have we seen so intimately Joel’s mental state. This is an addition in the show; the conversation between Joel and Tommy is very different in the game. We know Joel feels like that but it never says it so explicitly. And that’s a good thing. So much of who Joel is is shaped by his devastating loss. He has severe ptsd and trauma from not only losing Sarah, but the way he lost her. He wasn’t able to save her, he failed her, and that’s why Ellie terrifies him! Because he presumes he’s going to do the same thing again. He’s going to lose her. He even lists ways he’s already let her down. It’s made patently clear in the way he is with Ellie and things he says to her that this fear is because he cares about her. He tells her he does outright. And as he begins to care for her, we see his ptsd rearing its head in more obvious/physical ways. Makes sense, right? Loving someone, caring for them— that’s Joel’s trigger. But we also see something else. We see Joel talking. Jesus he’s barely talked this series so far in the way he does in episode 6. Most of the time his conversations have revolved around logistics and plans. Now he’s talking about dream jobs and football and his old life. And he’s smiling when he does it. He’s laughing. There’s so much contentment in him in his scenes with Ellie. This is what healing looks like. There are painful, heart stopping moments. But there’s also joy. When was the last time Joel felt joy, do you think? 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The Last of Us Part 1 is a love story at its very core. It’s about how love is where you find a reason to live even in dire times like an apocalypse. It’s about how things can seem so bleak but if you allow yourself to love, you CAN find pockets of joy. You can find hope. This is what Joel learns through Ellie. Love makes life worth living again. And, in fact, it saves you. There’s a reason we have a cutscene with Bill in the game in which he tells Joel that caring about someone only gets you killed. It’s not just a throwaway line as we traverse Bill’s Town with him. It’s a proper, cinematic cutscene. Bill tells Joel/us this, and then the narrative works the rest of the time to undermine it. Ellie’s love for Joel is what saves his life in winter. The things she does to keep him alive and safe are insane. It’s not just finding food and water for them both at 14 years old. She finds medicine. She uses herself as bait to keep David away from Joel. That’s nuts! And it’s because of love. Love is what helps Joel not get killed. It’s the same for Ellie later: because Joel loves her, he saves her life instead of letting her get killed. He sees her as a person of value, as a person whose life means something irrelevant of her immunity. He sees her as someone who deserves to live. Love literally saves her fucking life. And as well as all this, we see how love saves Joel and Ellie in every day ways. Ellie is no longer alone and scared. She has someone. Joel finds joy in life again. He pets giraffes and he laughs at stupid jokes and he talks and talks about a life he’s been burying for decades. Who is the only person he’ll accept Sarah’s photo back from? Ellie! ‘I’m taking a ride with my best friend.’ And they ARE best friends. This episode went to great and beautiful lengths to emphasise how broken and afraid Joel is, and how hard it is for him to show up for Ellie, but that he does because he cares for her. It goes to great lengths to show how Ellie is starting to affect a change in Joel; that she’s helping him overcome the grief that has lain stagnant in him for 20 years. It’s starting to show how they’re best friends. It was an exceptional episode. I loved every second of it. But when I think about part 2, I’m so stuck on how mean it all is and how it works against what they (bruce i see you pal) were telling us in part 1. 

In fact, it’s not just mean, it’s cruel - both to Joel and Ellie, and to the fans who love them and are attached to their journey and got something out of it. What’s interesting is considering Bill and Frank’s story and the changes that were made to it. I absolutely loved the episode but it’s difficult to completely ignore pinkwashing claims (if you care to look, there have been many complaints about the game and its overall treatment of lgbt+) when Bill is rewarded for doing the same as Joel: he protects his one person too. In doing so he hoards valuable resources that could be used to help thousands of people. In twenty years ordinary people just looking for safety will definitely have made their way to Bill’s Town  and been turned away. Bill’s refusal to turn his town into some sort of a functioning community like Jackson definitely killed people. But this is presented as a good thing. He’s protecting Frank. That’s his job. And he’s rewarded with so many happy years and a peaceful death in an apocalypse. There’s a reason that resonates with people more than Bill’s original story which is bleak and sad. He ends up alone. Frank dies hating him. To see instead that actually you can have joy and hope and love in a post apocalyptic world is meaningful to people. 

Joel and Ellie are not so lucky. Joel does the same as Bill. He picks Ellie. He does what he has to to protect her. He defends them both from hostile attackers. His refusal to let her be a lab rat prevents a cure (arguably) so people will die but he saves her life and gives her a life worth living, the same as Bill does for Frank. He isn’t rewarded for it. There’s no great love is so good message here. Unlike Bill, Joel is punished so horribly for years in the narrative through Ellie. She’s used as a pawn for the vehicle in which the narrative tells us Joel did something wrong and he deserves punishment. This hurts her too by the way: love has hurt her too. But the narrative has to punish Joel this way to really make sure we know he did something so terribly wrong, so for 2 years Ellie isn’t allowed to give Joel a proper chance to explain. He isn’t allowed to defend himself. And after these long painful years, Joel is then killed. But he’s not just killed. It’s so brutal. It’s long. It’s painful. And Ellie is there to watch, to be held down on floor level so he’s all she can see as he’s killed, and she’s begging him to get up. Bill’s stance and actions are presented as a good thing. He’s the hero who saves Frank and allows him to live a good life. He gets a hero’s story. Joel, on the other hand, is a villain for doing the same thing. He dies a villain’s death.

Ultimately, Bill is right, despite what part 1 appears to be telling you (that’s part of why I hate 2 SO much, it’s so contrary to the themes and messages of 1). Love does get you killed. If Joel didn’t love Ellie he wouldn’t have saved her and he wouldn’t be dead now. Love will make you soft and stupid. You’ll run into rooms of armed strangers without concern after 20 years of being constantly on guard, or at least that was Neil’s explanation as to why Joel would get himself into a situation that was so out of character for him. If you love someone you will be punished for it. They’ll stop speaking to you because you loved them and because of that love knew you had a life of value that was worth living and not because of immunity. They won’t even give you a chance to explain, after all the ways love drove you to keep each other safe and alive. If you love someone you’ll be brutally tortured and murdered and you’ll deserve it. You will be constantly punished and criticised and villainised for that love. Literally, love makes you a villain. You will suffer because of love, you will lose everything. What’s the message here???? What on earth were Neil and Halley trying to say (sos bruce we miss you)???? That healing from your trauma will get you killed? Will get you punished? That Joel should have stayed broken in the QZ? Because if he’d done that, he’d have been better off than his ultimate fate. He wouldn’t have lost a daughter again and he wouldn’t have been beaten to death slowly and died quite likely thinking Ellie’s going to be killed after him so he’s let another daughter die, and he’d probably still have Tess. 

Joel, through Ellie and overcoming immense fear and ptsd in order to love her, heals from his trauma, he’s finally able to deal with his grief and move on. He, after twenty years of rejecting it because it caused so much fucking pain, loves again! He truly loves! Then it first hurts him again, and then it kills him. Love is good, love is necessary they told us in part 1. But in part 2 they tell us it WILL get you killed though. And that’s so fucking miserable.

[punkahudsonia]

Okay, so. Let’s talk Goncharov (1973). One thing I think has been largely lost in the (deserved) praise of the film on tumblr is just how weird Goncharov is as a film in general (I mean, you can’t tell me the plot as described doesn’t seem doomed to be a confusing narrative mess,even if you have three hours to tell that story; it should not be the absolute tightly-wound banger that it is in practice) but also how weird it is as an example of a Scorsese film. This, I think, is inevitable, because almost everyone on tumblr is young enough that Scorsese has ALWAYS been a Big Name in Film. To see him attached to a masterpiece doesn’t seem weird in that context. And since very few people got to see this movie before it was digitized and widely distributed for the first time in the mid-aughts, it seems to have largely become viewed as a creation of Martin Scorsese, the master filmmaker. But. Martin Scorsese, master filmmaker, had made a grand total of two features prior to Goncharov (three if you count Mean Streets, but let’s come back to that). One, Who’s That Knocking at my Door, has some similar themes to Goncharov, but it’s a very rough film (hell, the only reason it got distribution is because Scorsese recut it as a sexploitation film). And the second, well, it’s called Boxcar Bertha and Scorsese made it for Roger Corman. It’s not what you’d call Great Cinema. By 1972/1973 Scorsese’s working feverishly on two films. One will become Mean Streets, which is a real firecracker of a movie. It’s compact, furious, and intensely personal, and here again we see some themes that also get deployed in Goncharov; a trio of two men and a woman as the central figures, an obsession with honor and loyalty, personal dissolution and power. It’s a masterwork and when it saw general distribution in the US, it deservedly made Scorsese’s name as a filmmaker. But the other film. Oh, my god, the other film is Goncharov. And it is so technically proficient, so richly written, so layered, so complex, and so goddamned beautiful to look at, and how the fuck, one wonders, did the same man make the scrappy indie crime drama based on his own childhood friends and neighborhoods, AND the complex meditation on grief and obsession and mafia and soviet politics, in the same goddamned 24 months?? How does one film feel like a fresh wound from a creator just launching his stardom while the other feels like the culmination of a lifetime of study of how to make a film that hits you where you live?

Okay, so. I have a theory on that.

We all know by now that Goncharov almost didn’t see the light of day, allegedly due to mafia objections to its distribution leading to the systematic destruction of the general-release prints. We know also that the producer of the film was Matouš Cimrman, grandson of the immortal Czech polymath and playwright  Jára Cimrman  -- hat tip to tumblr user @eightfourone on that, because their post is what got my wheels turning here. Of course Jára Cimrman’s son František Cimrman, Matouš Cimrman’s father, was a legend in prewar European cinema for his intimate dramas that drew on his father’s theatrical sensibilities. "Franta” fought with the Czech resistance in WW2 and then returned to filmmaking, though most of his work from the Soviet period (1948-c 1965) was virtually inaccessible to the West. In 1966 he was imprisoned and his films were banned and destroyed, and although he was supposedly released in 1967 he never made another film, and there’s no official record of his existence after the Prague Spring in 1968. Most people think he was disappeared by the Soviet Czech government, with a small minority thinking he was smuggled to the West for his own safety. His son has never, ever talked about Franta’s post-WW2 life in public. But I have another theory. While I’ve never been able to see his films in person with the exception of Pískle (”Spring Chickens”, 1933, but every film student’s seen that one) , the descriptions we have of his Soviet-era works talk about an increasing preoccupation with time passing, with fixing mistakes, with the magnetic pull of loyalty between men who can’t admit their attractions for one another. And, of course, Franta Cimrman shared his father’s gift for finely developed, humanized, well written women (I think any scholar worth their salt HAS to credit that to the huge influence of Franta’s mother/ Jára’s second wife, Karolina, and I’m not going to go on a huge ADHD tangent here about how cool SHE was, you’ll have to google, this is stupidly long already).

What’s the one thing you hear over and over when people discuss Goncharov, especially in contrast to Scorsese’s body of other work? How great the women are, especially Katya (my beloved, my pearl beyond price, my girlboss, etc.). Doesn’t it strike you as strange that he made a film with Katya in it, and then just . . . made the rest of the Martin Scorsese movies after that? For that matter, isn’t it a little strange that he managed to evoke the energy of worldweary inevitability so well when his prior films are, if anything, textbook examples of classic Movie Brat youthful auteurism and his next films seem to snap right back to that oeuvre? Say what you will about Taxi Driver, but it’s CLEARLY a film about young men’s discontent, not middle-aged disillusionment. Look. I’m not saying that Martin Scorsese didn’t make Goncharov. His fingerprints are all over the film visually and narratively, and we have recollections from the actors involved clearly demonstrating that Martin Scorsese was behind the camera lens and on the set on a daily basis. But one of the few concrete details we know about the NOTORIOUSLY secretive preproduction/scripting process is that the producer, "Mateo jwhj0517", reached out personally to Scorsese after seeing a rare UK screening of Who’s That Knocking at my Door in or around 1970 in Birmingham (and listen man I’m not going to judge him if he went to see it for the sexploitation scenes, they didn’t have an internet yet, you do what you got to do). I just don’t think it’s crazy to say that there was more than one Cimrman in those script meetings. I don’t think it’s crazy to say that an artist who had lived through the brutal first half of the 20th century, with a good chunk of that time under Soviet rule in Czechslo-fuckin-vakia, would perhaps be better positioned to create a masterpiece about brutality, failure, and the cruelty of relentless time. (I think it was Pauline Kael who wrote the essay on the Mafia’s parallels to the Soviet authoritarian governments? IDK it’s late I’m trying not to write a book here cut me some slack). I don’t think it’s crazy to posit that a man at the end of a life of creative vision would see something in a younger artist, and take him under his wing, and help guide his hands on the clay when it needed done. Anyway I look forward to the inevitable “Punka doesn’t believe Scorsese made Goncharov / Punka is pro-Soviet Czechslovakia / Punka thinks this film was made by a ghost and also is a homophobe for writing not one word of Gonch/Andrey in this entire novel of a post” callout.