#it would be character development and mental illness focused

[unforgivingchorus]

I’ve got like story boards for a red Robin solo run that would retcon a lot of the unfinished arcs of the last red Robin (keeping brucequest cause it was mostly finished) but the only person I would ever want drawing it is Juni Ba who’s doing the current boy wonder run. In love with her art actually.

[fulcrums501st]

Jinx’s death does not break the cycle of violence, and it does not help Vi

The way the show implies that Jinx’s existence is the only thing in the way of VI’s happiness and peace between Piltover/Zaun is ludicrous, incorrect, and utterly problematic. It also literally contradicts the show’s own messaging.

Jinx is just as much a victim of the cycle of violence as she is a perpetrator, just like every character. The true “jinx” isn’t Jinx or hextech it’s Piltover’s systemic oppression of Zaun that perpetuates the cycle of violence. They literally have Silco say that “killing is a cycle” that started LONG BEFORE him and Jinx and Vi. So Jinx’s death isn’t even a solution based on the speech they had an episode before cuz Jinx isn’t the root cause, only an inevitable result of the cycle of violence! But then Jinx takes fakeSilco’s advice to “break the cycle” and “walk away” by dying, when Jinx was NEVER the root cause of the cycle she is supposed to be “breaking” with her death. Everyone would need to mutually “walk away” and change their ways for that to work. their ending implies that Jinx being gone is partly what will lead toward Piltover/Zaun reconciliation after YEARS of systemic oppression lmao.

Additionally, the implication that Jinx faking her death is the ONLY way for vi to move on is crazy. Cuz if they had actually tried to develop Vi and let her learn to move on and unburden herself from her own guilt, then this whole ending falls apart and obviously reveals itself for the disgusting message that it is. It is not Jinx’s responsibility to unburden Vi from her own guilt. Also, ain’t not way they said this was gonna be a “Vi focused season” where we unpack her trauma only for their final thesis on Vi to be she is incapable of moving on and she is stuck, after they purposely didn’t explore of develop her. Laughably awful character and thematic work. Why not actually let Vi be a character and develop instead of implying that Jinx is the root of all of VI’s issues and the root of all of Piltover/Zaun’s conflict.

So Jinx’s “sacrifice” is meaningless because it relies on misunderstanding how to break the cycle of violence and on the fact that Vi is incapable of change or learning and so Jinx has to take it upon herself to “unburden” her. Which is a fucking problematic message to relay in your main protagonist who suffers from severe mental illness. Especially after they went out of their way to “redeem” Jinx this season. Only for them to be like “actually she can’t be saved—by felicia(‘s daughter)” LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HER “getting better” THEN?!? This whole end sacrifice lies on the fact that Vi gets zero development and that Jinx’s own development doesn’t matter!! what the hell

Them portraying Jinx’s ending as bittersweet but necessary and the “only way for Vi to move on” and not as a tragedy that didn’t need to happen is ridiculous.

Genuinely what the fuck Arcane? How did you miss understand your own themes and messaging so abysmally??

This is the most thematically in-cohesive and tone deaf thing I have even seen

Bonus throwback post:

[8auhaus]

In Defense of Calypso, an essay on Rick Riordan’s daughter of Atlas.

(Note: I will not be discussing the characterization of Calypso or the dynamic between Calypso and Leo Valdez within Trials of Apollo, as I believe they were unsuccessfully written to follow the bickering couple trope. I feel similarly towards the characterization of Nico di Angelo and Will Solace and their relationship in The Sun and the Star, and I feel it unfair to judge the dynamic that was written to mimic the popularity of Percabeth.)

“I'm coming back for you Calypso," he said to the night wind. "I swear on the river Styx. (House of Hades)

Ogygia exits in a pocket of time, similar to the Lotus Casino that trapped Nico di Angelo as eleven years old for decades. When reading a book, you have to remember the context in which it was written; It is unfair and frankly illiterate behavior to justify your hatred for innocent writing by warping the context of a children’s book. Rick Riordan, as senseless as his modern characterizations of the PJO cast are, would not write one of his few romantic relationships involving a main character to be predatory. Young adult fantasy has a target audience of people as young as 12 years old, who (in most cases) would not be able to derive insightful commentary with such extreme and complex dynamics. Instead, the characters and relationships presented should follow a storyline that focuses on relatable teenage experiences with a narration that reflects adolescent thought processes. A pedophilic character and a predatory relationship dynamic is a trope that is generally considered too graphic to successfully write within a series such as Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Instead, the relationship between Calypso and Leo is supposed to be an optimistic end to two characters who have dealt with longstanding heartache and loneliness. It can be considered an undermining of satisfactory character development, as having a character who struggles with loneliness find peace in being alone in a world that emphasizes the absolute necessity of alloromantic relationships would be a unique ending to the story and important messaging that romantic relationships do not “fix” a person. However, bashing Calypso for the profitable route that the author decided to follow (which is understandable, as the success of his previous novels within fandoms was partially because of the popularity of the romantic relationship between Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase (or “Percabeth”)) is not intelligent media consumption.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians emphasizes an overarching message of disability, how a person may struggle with disability in a world that doesn’t accommodate them, and how disability limiting a person’s abilities does not limit their character. The series is fundamentally a commentary on disability and trauma, as it was written to engage and represent Rick Riordan’s son who struggled with ADHD and dyslexia. While our main cast similarly struggles with these same two disorders, characters like Tyson, Nico di Angelo, and Leo Valdez are written more intentionally to represent disabilities such as Down syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder respectively. As the series develops, we see themes of trauma and long-lasting consequences of psychological and emotional distress, as it is assumed that the audience ages with the series and can digest mature themes more successfully. Calypso, because of her centuries-long isolation and repeated heartbreak resulting from the only close relationships she manages to develop, struggles with abandonment issues. It is not a stretch to say she may also struggle with social cues, similar to how a neurodivergent person may struggle to understand what behaviors are appropriate or not. To call her “mean,” “toxic,” “abusive,” or anything along these lines undermines the trauma responses Rick has made the effort to represent. Instead, it stands to demonize people with mental illness, assuming that their struggles define who they are and the relationships they have. The treatment Calypso receives for her trauma-based behavior is not applied to the male cast of characters, assumedly because of the standards misogyny has created for all women, even fictional.

Referencing the aforementioned defense of her “bad” behavior, many have criticized Calypso because of the curse she unintentionally placed on Annabeth which is seen in the House of Hades.

“We did nothing, the demons said. Your beloved has unleashed a special curse—a bitter thought from someone you abandoned. You punished an innocent soul by leaving her in solitude. Now her most hateful wish has come to pass: Annabeth feels her despair. She, too, will perish alone and abandoned.” (House of Hades, pg. 235)

However, it should be considered that, before Annabeth and Percy Jackson (and Nico di Angelo), no demigod had traveled to Tartarus, never mind surviving it. The demon encountered by the duo was not a common enemy, but a monster that could only be encountered within such a deep part of the underworld. Calypso, rightful in her bitterness though not in who she blamed for it, could not have assumed that Annabeth would encounter the Arai and suffer at their hands. (Note: this is assuming that Calypso had intentionally placed this curse, as it is equally likely that it was an unintentional manifestation of negative emotions)

According to a poll conducted by the Tumblr blog riordanverse-ship-polls, 93.9% of 346 voters feel, neutral or positively towards the ship between Leo Valdez and Jason Grace. 49.4% of these voters state Valgrace as their OTP or one true pairing. Additionally, the Valgrace tag on Tumblr has 2.1 thousand followers, and the tag that marks a romantic relationship between the two on Archive of Our Own has 1,651 fanfictions written (as of February 17, 2025). It is not unfair to assume that this pairing is popular within the fandom. This begs the question— how many people express hatred towards Calypso and her relationship with Leo Valdez because they would prefer a relationship between Leo and Jason? When scrolling through the Caleo tag on Tumblr, the Valgrace tag makes an impressive number of appearances. It is a common experience to see female characters hated in a movie, television show, book series, etc. because they “get in the way of” a ship between two men. It is a result of deeply rooted misogyny within fandom culture, which believes that male characters and relationships between men are inherently more complex than female characters and female relationships. This is not intended to be an absolute opinion, but instead a question that I ask every Valgrace shipper— are you holding female characters, specifically Calypso, to the same degree of morality that you hold the male characters? (Note: I do not intend to bash Valgrace or Valgrace shippers, but seeing the loud minority of them post Valgrace and anti-Calypso/anti-Caleo content under the Caleo tags is beyond frustrating. Ship and let ship!)

I believe I have addressed the reoccurring arguments in opposition to the ship between Calypso and Leo Valdez from Rick Riordan’s “Hero of Olympus” series, and those who incorrectly label Calypso as a mean, toxic, or abusive character. Greek Mythology does not allow for characters to be strictly “good” or “bad,” but instead allows readers to see the complexity of each action and its consequence. Though written for a younger audience, the same level of understanding must be given to the characters of the Riordanverse series.

(Please note, I am a 17 year old with limited experience with academic writing. Any constructive criticisms are welcomed, but I ask that you be considerate when disagreeing.)

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

whenever i say that a character needs therapy and healing before they start a relationship, people jump at my throat and assume that i'm saying that people with mental health issues shouldn't date at all or that they're not deserving of love.

folks. i have bipolar type 2. i'm also a psychology major. trust me when i say that i never said people with mental health issues shouldn't date at all.

i just think that it's a lot healthier to get into a committed relationship once you've started therapy and/or medication. no one is stopping you from getting into a relationship before that, but there is a higher chance of the relationship turning unhealthy and/or complicated. not just for your partner but for yourself as well.

and there are other relationships that people can and should focus on. i would never recommend an individual completely isolate themselves because they're mentally ill. that's the opposite of effective, it will only worsen your mental health.

romantic relationships aren't the only form of love. and when a person focuses solely on their romantic relationship, pushing aside their familial and platonic relationships, there's a higher chance of the person becoming overly dependent on their partner, which can again be unhealthy.

and keep in mind, my criticism is also more from a fictional perspective. stories that ignore a character's trauma and just give them a romantic partner aren't trying to tell you that people with mental health issues deserve love too, they're trying to brush the character's trauma under the rug and hoping that you won't notice.

a lot of these writers seem to genuinely think that romance will “cure” a character, and that's such a harmful mindset because it discourages people from seeking professional help. it's the same logic as thinking that birthing a child will solve relationship problems between a couple - that's just not how it works.

and in cases like catra, it's even worse because catra is not just dating anyone, she's dating the same person she has abused since childhood. this is destructive for both of them, not just adora. we have to realize that toxicity often stems from some kind of trauma (though not always) and it's not ableist to say that an abuser shouldn't be dating their victim.

one good example of a relationship involving a victim of trauma, in my opinion, is steven and connie from steven universe.

steven universe future focuses entirely on steven's deteriorating mental health, caused by all the trauma he endured in the original series. but in the end, after experiencing a mental breakdown, he actually seeks professional help before beginning to date connie.

it must also be mentioned that their relationship had great development since their friendship was already quite healthy and mutually supportive, and connie has been with steven through all his highs and lows. and so, it doesn't feel like this relationship came out of nowhere, just so that steven gets a happy ending.

it's a satisfying conclusion to both of their arcs and even better because they're allowed to stay away from each other and pursue their own goals while still being in a relationship, meaning that there won't be the risk of them becoming codependent.

this is all that i'm asking writers do with their characters with mental health issues/trauma. you can give them a romantic partner, just make sure you address their personal problems too, instead of brushing them under the rug.

[bad-holmes-impression]

would sell one-third of my soul for season 1 of tts but for 14+.

-diving into rapunzel’s guilt over touching the rocks as she tries to do that typical “filler” stuff, so the audience isn’t wondering why the problem isn’t being addressed, but rather, wondering how much longer until she breaks and addresses it.

-more character focus (honestly, i want this for the whole show). cassandra had some good development in season 1, but i’d love it if it delved into eugene struggling to reconcile his past with the fact that he lives in a castle now. with. you know. the guy that almost had him hanged.

-more eugene and lance flashbacks, particularly lance-focused stuff.

-more time with varian (particularly the varian-rapunzel and varian-eugene dynamics). really integrating him into the faces we think of when we think of the main cast, even if he isn’t necessarily their friend. or, heck, actually making him their friend.

-the destruction of old corona in real time. maybe making it the image shown during the credits! like, we see the normal village, and then, with each passing episode, the rocks overtake it further, pushing themselves into the picture as the sky gradually darkens.

-a varian pov episode with the masked men outside his house as he battles lingering sickness from the storm. we can even combine this with “the quest for varian” as rapunzel investigates his abandoned, cobweb-covered lab.

-would. would it be too ridiculously angsty of me to ask for varian to inject ruddiger with the growth serum onscreen. because i kind of want that.

-blood during the finale. be it cass’, the rocks causing eugene an injury, or a spike plunging through the automaton and across the side of varian’s face, leaving a scar that lasts forever and the very obvious symbolism going hand-in-hand with it.

HONESTLY THIS GOES FOR S2 AS WELL.

-cass actually struggling with her rotted hand.

-rapunzel making excuses to herself that no, she’s not just ignoring her problems all over again, because she’s traveling! she’s figuring out how to stop the black rocks! it’s fine!

-treating lance being poisoned with way more depth, because. like. that shouldn’t be made into a funny scene. we can let lance not be the comedic black best friend once. i’m begging you.

-flashbacks to corona and varian’s prison breakout, along with his internal redemption and andrew manipulating him.

-cass’ transformation into moon cass visibly making her look more gaunt, like how the flower healed gothel but in reverse. also having her be possessed by zhan tiri, at least for part of her arc.

okay fine we’re going into season three because this post is spiraling out of control

-letting varian sacrifice himself for corona, except there’s obviously some magic thing that still saves him. but that really should have been his redemption moment. the climax. *”there was room for two on that door, rose” voice* there was room for two inside that hair shield, rapunzel!

-either making quirin actually dead or at least doing some kind of fakeout.

-king edmund showing more signs of mental illness.

-multiple episodes where lance is at least featured with angry & cat. slowly but surely maturing enough to adopt them.

-varian’s voice getting more strained in “nothing left to lose” after being hit with the rocks. (jeremy jordan is an insane-level performer— i know he could’ve sold that so well and i’m baffled why they didn’t tell him to.)

-zhan tiri being much, much creepier.

-cass deteriorating more physically than just being pale, causing people to naturally show sympathy for her instead of. you know. a sadistic grin as she wields a sword effortlessly.

-the moonstone not healing cass’ disability.

-varian either getting to freak out inside that rock cage, or us seeing him consciously force his panic down. he’s still human even though he’s a genius, and he was confined hundreds of feet above the ground for about a day.

-not recreating the new dream moments in the finale, but giving us some original cass stuff that means just as much. this also comes with seeing what killed cass.

-making it clear that varian chose the role of royal engineer. also that he got to bring hot running water to his village first, the way he wanted to.

-depending on how cass’ arc is handled, either letting her be captain of the guard or exiling her with a hint that she’ll return to rapunzel in secret.

[haine-kleine]

ngl replaying Another Story after 283639 years is making me regret they focused on romance so hard? V feels ooc in both routes but RAE's cartoonishly evil V originating from the same common route that hasubando VAE V did makes it borderline comical.

and as a Saeran stan since the beginning this is almost a surreal experience because?? they clearly realized just how unhealthy his fixation on mc was and??? went with it anyway???

any attempt to make him take care of himself instead of obsessing over mc is met with rebuttal and trying to establish even reasonably healthy (compared to other routes' rejection options) boundaries sends this bpd bitch into a textbook rejection dysphoria.

what's really buggering me is that his route proceeds to successfully establish both Rika = Saeran/Saeyoung = V and the twins' mother = Saeran/Prime Minister = Saeyoung parallels. this makes it very easy to draw comparison between Rika's early relationship with V and Ray's budding romance with mc where both kept lovebombing their romantic interest before switching to their 'dark' personality that will manipulate and harass said partner. V going bonkers in RAE makes this equation positively insane which perhaps is evenly reflected in Ray's route requiring insane mental gymnastics of the player to get to the good ending (at least compared to mysmes' usual 'say i love you/spit on him and call him a little bitch' options).

like... realistically? at least speaking on mysme's otome game world's scope of realism, Saeran and mc's relationship would inevitably turn toxic. bc of his mom and Rika's brainwashing the concept of self worth is entirely foreign which pretty much makes therapy mandatory before it's possible for him to enter a healthy relationship. because mc is the first foreign person to get to know him and express interest in staying by his side he starts basing his entire sense of worth off the status of their relationship but his history with Saeyoung and V and Rika's influence turn this into a tightrope walking experience for mc. on the one hand, preferring Ray's gentle behaviour to Saeran's literal abuse inevitably leads to a bad ending but on the other hand the concept of accepting his 'inner darkness' or however else they decided to put untreated mental illness and years of CPTSD is on the same plane of existence that V/Rika's 'going blind and becoming suicidal as expression of eternal devotion and 'love'' toxic relationship is.

I'm aware what an otome game is and what soap opera/wife=therapist mysme specific brand of otome is, but my point is about Saeran's route being different from all the other ones.

the main routes were an introductory experience to the game and the characters, so the point of each route was exploring each of the characters fully and in practice allowed the player to help the characters resolve their specific issue by supporting and loving them. you won't really get Zen, Yoosung or Jaehee's flashbacks outside of their routes.

Jumin and Saeyoung are very different, and Jumin's route formula leans closer to the main ones with the bonus of giving V a happier ending which is exclusive among the initial 5 routes.

Saeyoung is like a neon sign, drawing your attention with his enigmatic presence the entire time, and his own route truly feels like the fullest experience of the story. he is designed to be intriguing, with the red herrings thrown around in every other route and 707 himself spending a good chunk of his own route fighting off mc's involvement in his life. what I'm saying is his route is designed less like a romance novel boyfriend and more like a mystery detective. the 707 romance experience is very close to being better outside of his own route, theorizing about the error 707 reset and him holding romantic feelings for mc in every single route. while the skeleton of the route structure remains the same, the experience itself falls short. you don't really get to steadily develop your relationship with him, have him express his doubts and insecurities as you reassure him and help him become a better person thanks to finally having unconditional support on his side. Saeyoung himself literally gets in the way of this formula and fights you with every step you have to forcibly take to get to know him better. and why is that?

because of Saeran, of course. literally everything he does is motivated by his belief in Saeran's safety being the exchange for his sacrifices. Jaehee, Zen and Yoosung don't really have a person whose presence in their lives motivates them so strongly, and mc walking into their lives gives them this exact motivation that drives them to finally unfuck their lives and learn to love themselves. Jumin is different from them because of V, who is his healthiest relationship as his childhood friend, and Elizabeth the third whom he wildly overcompensates V's withdrawal from his life with. as a result he has a much healthier recognition of his needs than everyone in RFA and because of this his route orchestrates very specific circumstances that put Jumin on the brink of psychotic breakdown, which might make the beginning of his relationship with mc appear as something unhealthy but once the time specific stress factors are gone he is able to enter a healthy purely romantic relationship with her without the need for mc to play his life coach and personal therapist.

what Jumin and the common route trio have in common is mc filling in the void in their lives. for Saeyoung this void has already been filled by Saeran. even after breaking through his aggressive tsundere period Saeyoung's personal brand of boyfriend is very strongly influenced by the dynamic he had with Saeran in childhood: he is a control freak, decisive, protective, the responsible one. the other half of this is clearly depicted in Ray's route: he is submissive, meek, fragile, the one who demands attention and care. okay maybe i find twisted humour in the fact that romancing either twin requires copying the attitude of his brother, did cheritz think about the flavour of brocon they were cooking with this.

this brings me to Another story and on this scope of comparison V has the benefit of his past being largely unknown outside of his relationship with Rika. even if you don't personally enjoy V, there's something you can get exclusively from his route: more details on his toxic past relationship, his backstory, a happier narrative conclusion to his friendship with Jumin.

this unfortunately puts Saeran into a losing position because he had already gotten a dlc dedicated fully to his backstory and recovery in secret endings. the route formula established above that consists of character backstory+romance+overcoming personal issues via unconditional support can't work for Saeran because it wasn't meant to work for Saeyoung. Saeyoung's route was intended as the 'true' route that uncovers all the mystery plots presented in main story. Saeran's primary role throughout the process of main route's conception was to serve as a mystery, unknown, the intriguing character baiting the players to buy deep route and be inevitably led to 707's one.

considering the many times Saeran killed himself, his brother or someone else throughout all the original release's endings they took the reasonable step to give him his own hopeful ending in the dlc containing all the details of the twins' childhood. mc is barely present throughout the secret endings because neither of the twins can dedicate himself to a healthy relationship without healing their own relationship first. it's extremely conditional and more defining for their perception of self than anything else. Saeyoung is a giver and a protector, this makes him into a control freak that later views personal distance as a safety measure without realizing how imbalanced this makes his friendship with RFA.

putting this exchange as the best example of this because it's preceded by 707 giving Yoosung an extremely long lecture on 'life is pain and suffering, pursuing your dreams is a hopeless waste of time, the point of existence is making money in the least miserable way you can negotiate with yourself' and pointing out the discrepancies in his preaching and procrastination habits makes him literally run away. he is absolutely not used to having his point of view challenged, this guy is allergic to it. because he had to cobble his belief system in the middle of the hellscape their childhood was and because the healthiest authority/father figure in his life was Jihyun 'i know better than everyone else and i am taking these secrets to my grave in the most dramatic and least productive way possible' Kim, it's easy to see how his self image grew attached to his percieved sense of responsibility (authority) over his close ones. but the fact he wasn't able to save Saeran and their separation puts an error into his belief system that spirals into this guy changing his name to 'Satan'.

Saeran on the other hand has a chronic attention whore syndrome. in Another Story this causes a lot of martyr behaviour from him: when Rika makes him work like a dog after V's detection he keeps coming to mc for validation. this point isn't meant to disregard the objectively horrific circumstances he is forced into, but the only other mysme chara who keeps complaining about their circumstances is Jaehee, who starts doing it more once she notices mc acknowledges her abusive work conditions. both Saeran and Jaehee are orphans with no support system and both of them throw themselves on the first person who shows them positive attention. but while Jaehee is notoriously cautious in her interpersonal relationships, Saeran depends with a reckless abandon. mc's rejection leads to him blowing himself up in V's route, this isn't meant to be healthy!

what is very important to understand about Saeran is the fact that he isn't actually Ray. despite all the traits that can be attributed to his Ray persona fitting every Saeyoung's description of little Saeran, the game itself makes a point about Ray being a false image, or rather a construct.

what little kid Saeran and Ray have in common is that both were identity constructs created by Saeran for the purpose of getting positive attention from his favourite person: Saeyoung and Rika. the concept of Ray really stresses just how conditional love is in Saeran's understanding. misery is a required step for acceptance. his mother's abuse was always followed by Saeyoung taking care of him, nursing his wounds and promising a better future. when Rika did what Saeyoung couldn't (or wouldn't, in Saeran's POV) do and freed him she had also implanted her very flawed conceptions about love which several years later turned Saeran into pretty much her personal slave. Rika was vulnerable the way Saeyoung wouldn't be with Saeran. Rika would have her highs and lows: going from mania to depression, demanding obedience and respect and then support and acceptance. being in relationship with Rika broke V, who was at least nearly an adult. of course, taking Saeran from inhumanely abusive environment straight under her wings was a disaster waiting to happen. Ray is pretty much a custom made identity designed by her to satisfy her needs: he is extremely submissive and can't function without validation.

the facet of Saeran that exists beyond both Saeyoung and Rika's scopes of acceptance or understanding is the Saeran that was left alone with his mother.

in this flashback we learn that the woman made a habit of projecting on him and comparing the older twin to their father. Saeyoung and Mr Choi were stronger, more capable and resourceful than herself and Saeran. the younger twin became an outlet for her frustration and true to the narrative thread of this game, internalized the unhealthy beliefs of his caretaker.

lo and behold, Unknown/Suit Saeran/Dark Saeran/Yandere Ultimate

I won't go into details how this guy uses mc (Ray route), mc and RFA (main+deep story) or Saeyoung (secret endings) as his emotional outlets, what i want to focus on is his importance in his own route.

scrapping him would have been easy: Ray for all intents and purposes shares all the requirement characteristics for the role of Saeran-as-love-interest, down to persisting hatred of Saeyoung. Ray is much easier to write in this role than the edgy counterpart: one provides textbook romance and the other literally tortures you, physically and psychologically. evil!Saeran's entire persona begs to invite himself to all the bad endings, so what is he even doing in the middle of unskippable part of the route?

i think this can be interpreted as Cheritz pretty much acknowledging the impossibility of the task they've set themselves with. you can't really heal Saeran by romancing him and healing him is not as easy as bringing him back the brother he was separated against his will from many years ago. the analogy with Rika and V is inevitable, so there's no avoiding the label of toxic relationship even if you change his name and give him a whole new identity.

Saeran's road of healing always without failure leads to Saeyoung. and in my opinion the absence of the brothers' actual relationship really takes away from Saeran's route. Saeyoung's route only dangles the possibility of reunion because at that point we barely knew who the fuck Saeran actually was, and RGE actually downgrades this by fully taking Saeyoung out of the picture.

which leads to RAE being a highly questionable experience, even as a big Choi twins enjoyer. Saeyoung's role in it is exclusively angst porn. we already knew how desperate he can get when it comes to protecting his twin, the grand sacrifices and the pain of their consequences is already perfectly conveyed by his guilt trips that prevent him from genuinity with RFA, all for the sake of Saeran-ah. like, it doesn't get any bigger than actively and without stop sacrificing your authentic identity???

and the twins' mutually sacrificing themselves for each other's sake rather than turning up the drama to it's peak feels like this meme

is it nice to have Saeran actively protect Saeyoung? sure is. but his overall extreme passivity and victimhood in this route are too over the top. the end checkpoint of each individual route including Saeyoung's was teaching the character their self worth and watching Saesae throw himself at every inconvenience feels like we did a fairly bad job at this. (this is not realistically healthy but) using the trend that Ray's route established of his feelings for mc overpowering his harmful beliefs and self harming habits and making him actually take care of himself, this downright reads like a failure on our part? i dunno, watching an actively suicidal character who had tried to kill himself in front of us in two of the good endings already, after the point of his own good ending leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

all for the sake of what? Rika abandoning her cult and seeking validation in express makeshift family? Prime Minister's character arc?????

after analyzing this critically, i really feel like Saeran's route would have benefited a lot from putting the focus of his character on RFA rather than focusing RFA on the outer drama. the message of found family being as important as blood family and in some cases even more has already been conveyed so beautifully in Jaehee, Zen and Jumin's routes, it would have put this message full circle if they used it on the one romanceable character outside of RFA. what makes this especially upsetting to me is that Zen and Saeran's platonic relationship is almost designed to be perfect:

- Zen is estranged from his blood family by choice from a very young age, making it easier for him to validate Saeran's feelings on topic of family

- throughout the routes Zen is pretty much the only character who is consistently willing to discuss the emotional problem the others are going through. pretty much every other character is too busy drowning themselves in escapism while Zen gently nudges them towards bringing up the issue they are running from (with the exception of Jumin because he triggers traumatic memories about his brother's abandonment and you know who else was abandoned by their elder brother?!). what is Zen's own issue? he constantly requires attention and validation. you know who else does?..

- despite Zen sharing Saeran's attention whore medal, he is outwardly unambiguously supportive of the other RFA members. 707 even dubs him a nag because of how aggressive he can come off in his desire to emotionally support RFA.

- Saeran is a very impressionable person. both of the twins consider their only worthy attribute their hacking skills, and because of how sheltered Saeran's whole life he has very little personal life experience. as an example, in that short window of time after being rescued from his mother and before Rika snatched him to her cult he was taking care of the church's garden and that was enough for him to develop a lifelong obsession with flowers. considering how genuinely talented Zen is, i think it would take Saeran no time to be deeply impressed by his passion and his performances. i can see Zen becoming a similar symbol of freedom and tenacity to Saeran that he did to Jaehee.

[sbg-confessional]

since someone listed (??? is that what it is...) their favs, ill do it too ^_^!!!

6. Logan. IM SORRY LOGAN LOVERS...i just dont see the hype ☹️ hes pretty average i guess, sure he had development but it was so...sudden in a way? yeah, the phantom shit and all made him tougher but other than that it was pretty hard to see anything else. Im REALLY trying to get the hype about him😭 his fans are chill tho

5. Aiden. Overrated, and just not my favorite type of character. Everytime appears in one panel the entire comment section will instantly talk about him purely. Hes not BAD, absolutely not, i think he can be a really decent character. I LOVE characters that put up this façade, and Aiden does that too but i just...cant really say hes my favorite. MOST fans are insufferable, but few of them are fun to be around.

4. Ben. Honestly, i was thinking really hard if i should replace his place with Aiden. But hes a cutie, and i like his backstory. I love it whenever some tough looking guy turns out to be actually really gentle and sweet ^_^!!! Hes underrated, and has really few panels/chapters that focuses on him. Hes a medic, and i love medics so uh...extra points for that too. I feel really bad for him ☹️ I think hes a real sweetie.....fans are rare to find, but theyre funny and pretty kind.

3. Taylor. WHERE DO I STARTTT SHES SOOO ☹️☹️☹️☹️ i LOVE her shes so lovely 😭 shes THEEE emotional support in the group and I love that. Really helps ease the tension in most moments between the gang, and overall i think I just really like her personality. I would definitely have a hallway crush on her 😭 people underestimate her so much it hurts....i hope red gives her a chance to have a deeper personality, surely the death of her father and Tyler becoming...what he is now had some type of effect on her.

2. Ashlyn. I think shes actually a lot more than what people make her seem to be. Shes relatable at times, and seeing someone who hasnt had any friends her entire life actually struggling in moments that need communication is so.....‼️‼️‼️‼️ like its realistic. SHES REALISTIC. And also, shes the MC and i think shes an important part of the group. Without her, im like 80% sure they'd be fucked 😭 Her depth is being developed, and right now it looks pretty good. I love her inner struggles, especially when she started thinking about pulling everyone into the rift thing with her face being like the phantoms...i think thats how it went? I kind of forgot. It shows a side of her that i think could, and SHOULD, be explored more.

1. The one and only, TYLER MY GOAT🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 I could go on and on about how hes probably the most relatable person for me, and how much his trauma is overlooked. I have this certain favoritism towards characters that had to grow up too early, and Tyler is a perfect example. He rarely had a childhood, matured early, AND IS SCARED OF BEING VULNERABLE??? THIS IS LIKE A WIN FOR ME. ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS AT ONCE. Has one of the GREATEST angst potential, and a beautiful character. His death was gut WRENCHING. The flashbacks???? The last things he said?? MY SHAYLAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭 "I cant leave them, not like dad did" IM GONNA KILLMHSELLFFFFFF ogujhouhh,,,, I believe that Red should show his caring nature more, because its OBVIOUSLY THERE WITH HIS SISTER. BUT ONLY A FEW TIMES. VERY SUBTLY. I LOVE his no bullshit mentality and bluntness. Im gonna eat him up affectionately. Hes SO much more than his anger issues and it absolutely baffles me how the fandom has somehow only reduced him to that AND SHIPS. I HATE TYLENOL. It feels SO fucking forced im sorry. Hes either just there for the ships or to be watered down to one word. So many fanfic writers get his character wrongtoo☹️☹️☹️ I dont blame them or anything, its just sad to see. His fear of vulnerability should be explored more. I WANT MORE ANGST NOT SMUT LEAVE MY LITTLE GUY ALONEEEEE😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ "he'd call you ma" NO STOP DIEEEEIHATE ALL.OF YOU OGMYKGOOD 🙏🙏 ITS SO CORNY. Anyways, i think hes neat.

♥️

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I'm currently working on writing a book about a character with schizophrenia, but I'm afraid to fall into some sort of "crazy-guy" stereotype.

He starts developing a romance with a close friend of his, but I don't want it to be a "I can fix him" type of deal.

I'm a med student and have researched about it, but I'm afraid that having this knowledge and actually knowing what people with this go through is entirely different.

It's a bit complicated to explain, but the book is between a triller and a slight slice of life.

Howdy!

There is nothing wrong with a person with schizophrenia or any level of psychosis, or even any person with severe mental illness and neurodivergence being in a relationship, even if they are still in recovery or somewhat unstable. That doesn't push into "i can fix him" unless the relationship was initiated because the person wanted to affect their partners health and is doing so by being in a relationship, which is very different. People with any level of disability or disorder can have relationships.

To answer more I'm going to need some more information about how the tropes are being handled.

I also want to add that very few characters with psychosis are given meaningful romantic relationships and that giving a character a relationship where the drama is not focused on the character's schizophrenia or how it impacts their lover would be an amazing thing to see. People with schizophrenia and psychosis in general are often, when portrayed as in relationships, shown as being controlling or abusive and while anyone can be abusive it is more likely for a character in active psychosis to be gaslit or controlled by their partner simply because of how difficult it can be to discern reality at times.

I also want to say be careful about the idea of a main character with schizophrenia being in a thriller. It is absolutely possible to have a character with serious mental illness to be in a thriller or horror story, and as someone with psychosis who loves horror that's not my concern. But there is an overabundance of psychotic characters in thrillers acting as the antagonist, or as villainous, and the plot twist of "the violence was in his head the whole time" is overdone as representation and not as exciting as a psychotic character getting to exist in the story as a fully-fledged protagonist or character.

-Mod Bert

[machetesquirrel]

Neurodivergent Study Tips

A teacher at my school asked me if I had any study tips for other students with ADHD, Autism, Anxiety, ect. so I typed up a little list. Thought others might find it helpful as well! Sorry it's so long. This is just my experience, so they probably won't work for everyone, I would love it if everyone could add on there own things they do to stay focused.

Do you have something that you’re really obsessed with whether it be a piece of media, a video game, a book, a certain subject or a time period in history? Try to relate it to what you are learning! 

-Use mnemonic devices related to your special interest or current thing you’re really into.. When I often need to memorize certain terms I like to make my mnemonic devices relate to the tv shows I like (ex. I  needed to memorize the three main gunpowder empires so I used the term “Silly Oncologist Man” which reminded me of Wilson from House MD but the first letter of each word matches the name of each gunpowder empire; the Safavids, the Ottoman Empire, and the Mughal Empire.) 

-Relate the things you like to what you are learning about.  Find a way to tie in the things you enjoy into what you are learning about. For math and science this can be quite easy, especially when you are learning about motion and other things that can be applied easily to many scenarios (I turned all my equations on calculating the motion of an object into playing roller derby or throwing projectiles in dnd or video games I like) For me I often relate political movements in fictional TV shows to the part of American history or philosophy they most align with, I find that any TV shows with complex fictional governments or that explore certain themes and ideologies are good for this (I used the Battlestar Galactica Reboot for this, but you can really use anything that you’re interest in, even other parts of history, this can also help you develop a deeper understanding!) 

-Find some way to fit something you like or what you’re interested in into your study routine. I often have the soundtracks of my favorite tv shows, movies or video games playing in the background as I study, or I often keep something that reminds me of the things I like nearby.  (I like drinking coffee while studying because it helps me focus and reminds me of my favorite character Ianto from the tv show Torchwood, similarly I also have a scented candle I like that smells like the Sunnydale Library from Buffy the Vampire Slayer burning while I work) 

Find ways to reward yourself for studying. 

- Make a tangible final product. I often find that making a tangible product relating to what I’m learning or what I’m interested in can be quite helpful. For example, instead of just forcing myself to memorize all the neurotransmitters and parts of the brain for AP Psychology I made up a fake video game where each of the neurotransmitters was a member of an alien punk band and the parts of the brain were places they went on tour. I was able to make little skill trees for each of the neurotransmitters as their character leveled up relating to the effects of what would happen if you had too much or too little of that neurotransmitter, also allowing me to memorize the different causes of mental illnesses at the same time. At the end of this project not only did I have a little booklet and ton of sketches of my neurotransmitter characters, as well as many accompanying pinterests boards but I also memorized all the terms I needed to know, often in far more depth than my classmates because I would look up additional information to complete my project. Plus if you have something you can take with you outside of school and show to other people it often leaves you feeling much more fulfilled. 

-Use Technology I use a lot of study and task tracking apps to motivate myself to study. My favorites are the ones that tie you studying to taking care of some kind of virtual pet or gaining in game items. My favorites are Study Bunny which allows to gain coins every time you study to better take care of your virtual bunny, Finch which is more of a self care app but you can also use to set goals for the day to take care of your virtual pet bird, Focus Traveller which also lets you make soundscapes and travel a mountain by studying more, Habitica a fantasy themed task managing app where you get coins and equipments for completing tasks and Hatch where you get to hatch alien creatures for studying. You can also use rewards not tied to an app but tied to something you like to do or something that you are interested in, but I also just like the apps.  

-Make your place to study actually fun to be in. I know this can be a lot harder for some people depending on if you actually have your own space at home. But you can even bring a cute action figure or good luck charm to put with you while you study, or just find a place in your school where you like to be (I have a favorite spot in my school library where I love to sit in for studying.) Your environment could also include playing the kind of music you like while studying or creating a special soundscape with calming sounds like rain or birds. I also often like lighting a scented candle or incense while I work because I really like good smelling things and it makes me happy to be at my desk. I also just have fun stickers on my laptop and a cute computer mouse that has just the best texture, making me happy to work.  

Find ways to prevent yourself from leaving your desk or stopping the task you are doing. 

Create a reason why you can’t leave your study space or stop your task. For this I often like to light a scented candle because I can’t leave an open flame unattended for more than a few minutes because my cat Gus has a death wish. So because I don’t want to waste matches I often find myself staying put and continuing to work as opposed to getting up and wandering the house to go bother the rest of my family. You can also use an app like Study Bunny or Hatch that sets a timer for how long you need to stay put. 

Incorporate movement into your studying. I am often very very fidgety and find myself often leaving my desk to wander around the house if I haven’t moved for long enough. Instead I have started pacing while reading my textbooks or using a fidget while studying so I can still get some movement in. My mom has a little mini elliptical thing she keeps under her desk which she finds very helpful as well, though that can be a bit expensive. 

Limit technology based distractions. Apps like Study Bunny or Hatch will stop you from accessing the rest of your phone without losing your progress, which can stop you from getting distracted and texting your friends or scrolling social media. I also have the software Virtual Cabin which not only makes it feel like you are studying in a cozy cabin with a cute cat/dog and nice music/nature sounds but also blocks the rest of your computer from view, keeping yourself focused on whatever you are doing.  Frankly I just find myself trying to do assignments on paper/analog as much as I can because it eliminates the temptation of me switching out of what I am doing and looking at something else on my computer. 

Find ways to hold yourself accountable. I often find that telling someone that I am going to do homework before I do it can be helpful. I even sometimes tell them what assignments I am doing so they can check in to see if  I actually did them, though I often find this a bit stressful. My best suggestion is to find someone who understands how your brain works so they won’t shame you if it gets in the way of you doing work and they can even help come up with new strategies for working more effectively. For example I often tell my penpal that I am doing homework because they believe in me but they also have issues focusing and staying calm sometimes so they understand if sometimes that stuff gets in the way. You can also just sit with someone very quietly and work next to them this is called “body doubling” and I find that if I am working while someone else is working I feel more motivated to work and less likely to go through social media, because frankly I don’t want them to see the weird crap that I google when I’m trying to avoid doing homework (way too many questions about the lore surrounding video games I’ve never played and have no intention to play, and many weird questions for my various creative writing projects.) 

[kookidough]

sierra is sooooo complicated to me like. i could go on about her for so long & also i wish the writers did certain things with her character (which i will get into later in this rant) so ya here we go

firstly her childhood is . very clearly messed up?? it’s established that her mother is Ultra Obsessed with chris and i think sierra mentions being a 3rd generation chris mclean scholar at one point which implies that obsession just runs in the family atp😭 before even going on the show she’s grown up in an environment where this level of obsession is Normal so she doesn’t see anything wrong with turning out the same way

since her mother is like . obsessed with chris & stuff that’s probably what would bring sierra to watching total drama in the first place and i personally feel like she’d fixate on it because it was a group of teenagers her age, people she would like to be friends with if that makes sense? i can imagine she’d be a pretty odd child without many friends so that’d maybe be a reason for her to latch onto total drama, maybe why she latched onto cody too because like. she thinks he’s cute and they have things in common (like theyre both pretty geeky) so she gets pretty parasocial about it because, as mentioned before, her mum being obsessed with chris is just Normal to sierra so she thinks it’s normal for her to be obsessed with cody (spoiler alert girl: it’s really not)

while she’s on the show i feel like she doesn’t change / gets worse because chris sees her exhibiting Mental Illness and just… actively encourages her behaviour? and the other contestants do nothing to stop it, like how most of the time (e.g. paris) team amazon get mad at cody for sierra’s behaviour instead of helping him out for some reason??? no one tells sierra her behaviour is wrong so she just. Continues to get worse until shes out of the competition😭

this is where im gna interrupt with a canon divergence because like . personally i think in the episode where votes were revealed and cody was revealed to have voted sierra Every Single Time, sierra shouldve gotten over him!!!! it was the harsh truth she needed to hear, the dose of reality that cody is NOT interested in her and she needs to move on. she couldve had good character development, building her relationships with other characters and showing off her skills. maybe she’d still be eliminated in drumheller because she made cody that birthday cake as an apology and then kaboom or whatever idk just some way to keep her elimination the same

going down this train could’ve made her character in all stars Actually Interesting ! we couldve seen a side of sierra that kept some of her old eccentric vibes but had her head in the game this time instead of being focused on a boy, especially since cody isnt even in that season

and of course lastly i just wanna say i’m not excusing her weird actions or her creepiness at all, she has some Extreme Flaws and all the stuff she did was absolutely not okay, i just like rotting and seeing maybe why she acted the way she did and i wanted to drop my own two cents on interesting avenues her character couldve went down :3 i know everyone in td is some form of stereotype and sierra was an obsessive uberfan but she couldve still been that after getting over cody, in fact im disappointed that she knew SO much about the cast yet didnt use any of their weaknesses to her own advantage, she couldve dominated the competition😭

so uhhh yeah thats my thoughts on sierra, i probably over-read her to filth but shes very complex to me and i wish certain aspects of her character were done differently, she had a lot of potential especially in all stars but um Everyone had their potential destroyed in all stars so i’ll overlook that

[iamthedukeofurl]

Okay, so I'm not going to speak to the quality of the depiction of mental illness in Arcane But (Spoilers up to S2 E4)

The clear implication seems to be that, while he certainly cared for her a lot, Silco was REALLY BAD for jinx. The Hallucinations seem to be stress triggered. Specifically, Jinx's stressors are ideas of loss and abandonment. We see at the start of Episode 4, Jinx is in hiding with Isha and Sevika and...she's remarkably stable. Earlier in Season 2, we see some hallucination-scratches around Enforcer Vi, which, yeah, that would be terrifying. But in episode 4, she's calm, she's happy. She even says 'Jinx is dead" the same way she referred to Powder. Isha gets taken by Enforcers, and we get a wave of scratches. Scratchy Vi-Gloves. Scratchy Silco. We see Jinx pushing those away and focusing in on the rescue mission. And Jinx on the Rescue mission is...weirdly out of character. She's not the gleefully murderous chaos machine we saw in season 1. She's also not the almost suicidal figure who fought Vi in episode 3. Her attack on Stilwater lacks her usual flair. No bombs, no chaos, no spray paint everywhere. She brings a nonlethal weapon, infiltrating and breaking people out. The "Jinx" Persona, chaotic and violent, almost seems like her response to Silco. Silco's whole philosophy is about the willingness to take action. Silco himself was controlled and reserved, in many ways just as scared as Vander was, but he resented that in both himself and Vander. Jinx developed as a response to that fear, Silco's "Perfect" daughter, who acted recklessly without heed for danger or consequence. She's terrifying, look how she treats the bartender, or Sevika. Not just being chaotic, but being PERFORMATIVELY chaotic, scrawling her signature graffiti everywhere. She's also, clearly, miserable. Silco the Kingpin wants control and obedience, Silco the Revolutionary craves violence against Topside and disruption of the status quo. Jinx is desperate for his approval, and is forever torn between his contradictory desires. You'd think she's get MORE unstable and self destructive after losing Silco, but it's the opposite. Left to her own devices, she doesn't really seek out trouble (Caitlyn's strike team is hunting HER), her big "Attack" on Piltover is basically a protest art project, venting the Grey up to the well-ventilated topside in a cloud of color. She's protective and kind to Isha. She's a lot less showy than she once was, almost like the pressure to perform Jinx The Anarchist Chaos Gremlin is gone and what's left is, well, not Powder, but maybe somebody that Powder could have grown up to be.

[ssruis]

My take on tsukasa’s bedroom and fashion sense is essentially that he realized that his parents felt bad for (justifiably) focusing a lot of attention on saki AND his parents would frequently be like “that’s our boy so mature and responsible” when they’d have to leave him to fend for himself at home as a kid so he

1. Developed a complex about being a mature independent responsible child that his parents never had to worry about so they could focus more on saki. My parents are worried and stressed all the time -> it makes them happier/less stressed when they think I’m super mature and independent for my age -> I will be molding myself into this image

2. Subsequently started phasing out anything childish decoration or fashion wise and cultivating a mature image by mimicking boring grown up type characters he saw on tv (I also think that’s partially why he talks Like That. The other reason is he just consumed a lot of plays/musicals/shows written like that at a formative age)

I don’t think this is a bad thing necessarily. it’s just kinda the way he is now. He’s making the complex work for him.

I also think the big brother mental illness he has played a part in this I just think it’s to a lesser extent.

[doomed-silly]

I forgot I has this account. I have ADHD and forgot my medication so don't blame me it's not my fault (milgram reference?!?!??!?!)

Anyways I wanted to post about haruka. This is somewhat analysis focused and also about my experience and how I relate to him and also the fandoms reaction to him (kinda late to the party but oh well)

Milgram trial 3 spoilers below this point

So the thing I want to start with is Haruka and his development like mentally not character wise. The file at the end of his trial 3 video specifically says he has "developmental delays". I'm not an expert BUT there is a difference between developmental delays and a developmental disability. Basically what it breaks down to is developmental disabilities, I'll use autism for this example since im autistic and its what I have the most experience with, are life long and aren't really something that can "get better" (i use that term loosely). A developmental delay is when you don't reach certain or all milestones at the expected ages those milestones are expected to happen. I can say for myself my biggest one was speech, but in Harukas case it is showcased through his inability to sufficiently read Kanji.

I lay all of that out to start delving into why I find haruka so tragic.

With developmental delays with early intervention they can be helped and a child exhibiting them can be given proper support to start reaching milestones they should be reaching. Kids with developmental delays may have disabilities like autism, but some just need support. This is where I think things get REALLY tragic because harukas parents refused to accept that haruka NEEDED support from them. It doesn't say it specifically in his file, but I'd assume it's because they were annoyed/ashamed he wasn't excelling because they were wealthy. I say this because for one harukas mother's necklace is a huge piece of his lore but also in "all-knowing and all-agony" the layout of their house seems pretty expensive (although im not well versed enough in the housing market of Japan or anything).

One thing that really strikes me about haruka is how really his whole story is preventable. I mean I guess you could apply that logic to almost all the prisoners BUT I think its especially true for haruka. Like for example you could say "oh fuuta could've just not done a cyber bully" or "oh yuno could've not gotten pregnant" which undermines their character BUT WHAT IM GETTING AT is harukas murder and story as a whole culminates from birth. He would always have these developmental delays, but if he was given adequate support he wouldn't have grown that incessant need for attention. I do believe he'd have SOME unhealthy habits sure, but his parents giving up on him pretty much took his issues from 2 miles per hour to 70 miles per hour in a split second. I'm not saying haruka is excused from what he did at all he's conscious of what he's done he's mentally ill but he's still cognizant. What I will say though is that if his parents actually took the time to CARE about their son it's way less likely he'd even be in milgram

That's also why im annoyed at the fandom because so many people choose to immediately act like he did nothing wrong and that he's just a Lil baby and it bleeds into the other characters. Like Muu is getting the worst of it but that's a different post to make. I think from a writing perspective treating haruka as a innocent little boy who doesn't know what he's doing GREATLY detracts from the tragedy of his character. Haruka was born into a family with what could've been a disability and wasnt given any support and even just flat out expected to perform at the level of his peers. Once he inevitably can't keep up through no fault of his own his parents, who are the ones who put him in a position where he is not getting the support he needs, they disregard him which causes him to tail spin into needing their (and especially his mothers) attention. He sees how much people mourn their loved ones and when he's pulled into interrogation and his parents are forced to give him and solely him attention he sees his ticket. So with the seeds planted in his mind that if he causes enough trouble his parents have to pay attention to him, the feeling he gets when people anguish over their loved ones, and his loss of control in his life and regaining that through killing things smaller then him, it leads him to kill a child. Treating him as a little kid is 1. Super disrespectful to people who experience developmental disabilities (im right here) and 2. Just guts any sort of impact his story has

Ima get a bit personal here but nothing triggering if you've read so far, but haruka hits so close to home. As mentioned before I have autism and I've been diagnosed since I was like 3 years old. I would've never known if I didnt find a "help book for parents of autistic children" in fifth grade. And I was excited to learn more about myself until my mom said "don't use your autism as a crutch" i didnt have the same experience as haruka in terms of how my mom treated me, but I can say from first hand experience having a parent who disregards your needs and expects you to be the same as kids without the struggles you face? It's awful it's done so much damage to me.

I think the way I've seen a lot of people talk about haruka fails to see him as a person and more as a character of what autism is. For one haruka at least based on the death file may not have had a full fledged disability. I think its likely tbh, but also I think the milgram fandom needs to acknowledge the ableism it's been showing since harukas crime was revealed.

I don't really have any closing thoughts I've just been thinking about him a lot lately because I've been dealing with my own mommy issues lol

[queer-ragnelle]

is there any text or tumblr post that dives into the ways in which sir lancelot is insane? like a freak? i’ve read a couple extracts ab him giving the idea that he was effed up a bit and like a whole murderbot with raging feelings of hatred and love? i would like to know more ab the crazy things he does or says that make ppl go “this man is a freakazoid”. also i adore your blog thank you for making sumn this nice!

hi there!

i'm unsure if you mean excerpts from medieval sources in which lancelot is "mad" or academic articles dissecting those instances...but i have both for you lol now a disclaimer: i'm neither a medievalist nor a psychologist, so all i can offer you is the raw material and my opinion. while we shouldn't "diagnose" anyone of the past as we do now, lancelot isn't a real person, so i think that affords us a little more freedom to speculate about him, and more importantly, what it is he represented: a medieval anxiety surrounding trauma and the resulting mental toll. info and sources below a cut. huge content warning for self harm and suicidal ideation.

Academic Sources: Medieval Attitudes Towards Mental Illness by Edith A. Wright, Of Metal and Men by Julie Singer, The Enemy Inside by Brian Burfield

Medieval Sources: The Knight of The Cart by Chréiten de Troyes, The Vulgate Cycle edited by Norris J. Lacy

so for starters, let's establish what it is people are responding to when they discuss lancelot's mental instability. the character first appears in "the knight of the cart" by chrétien de troyes, and right from the getgo, lancelot exhibits a lot of mental distress, up to and including, a suicide attempt.

from his inception, lancelot was unwell. at another point, he appears to disassociate so completely, he forgets his own identity, and loses perception of his body.

now you may have noticed that the text always links lancelot's episodes to his fixation on guinevere. we'd be here forever if we incorporated the way medieval authors offset the blame of their protagonists' deteriorating mental states onto the fault of a woman (see also: yvain/owain's madness when laudine/countess divorced him, tristan's madness out of longing for isolde, etc.) whereas when a woman shows upset, it's never attributed to her lover, but a shortcoming within herself. so for the sake of staying on topic, we'll focus on lancelot's symptoms as they are, rather than trying to unravel the middle ages-sized knot of misogyny that is the fictitious root of these madness episodes. "medieval attitudes towards mental illness" by edith a. wright discusses this trend in depth.

i'm going to be focusing on "the vulgate cycle" as my main source of lancelot's madness as he has multiple distinct episodes in that text written in excruciating detail that we can discuss. generally speaking, lancelot is presented as an extremely anxious individual that's highly susceptible to outside influence (whether that be guinevere's, galehaut's, etc.) but that in and of itself is not necessarily indicative of mental illness so much as a rarely explored introverted quirk of his personality. as discussed in "of metal and men" by julie singer, it seems lancelot's at his most confident when operating as an anonymous knight and therefore not subject to the scrutiny of societal expectation.

this, however, can develop in extreme ways when lancelot is pushed past his limits, and he succumbs to a berserker-like state neither his friends nor family can shake him from. while imprisoned at saxon rock, lancelot has to be segregated from the other prisoners, despite galehaut begging to be housed with him, the jailers refuse as lancelot's psychosis is so intense that he'd kill his fellow hostages and thus neutralize the enemy army's advantage. lancelot's refusal to eat exacerbates his symptoms. [Lancelot Part II, Ch. 71. Lancelot’s Madness and Cure; Defeat of the Saxons and Irish; Lancelot, Galehaut, and Hector Become Companions of the Round Table]

this psychotic episode continues even after lancelot is freed. eventually guinevere is forced to lock him alone in a room to protect the others, as he continues to attack anyone who comes near, including his own younger cousin and squire lionel who had attempted to talk him down and was struck. lancelot only recovers after his adoptive mother, the lady of the lake, arrives and utilizes strikingly modern de-escalation techniques, such as referring to lancelot by his childhood name to ground him, administering some medicine to help him sleep, allowing him uninterrupted rest, and then bathing him. (this is tinged with medieval mysticism, of course, but you get the idea.) the lady of the lake then instructs guinevere on how to care for him thereafter. once lancelot awakens from his magic/healing-induced coma, his sanity is restored.

it feels important to note here that, once lancelot regains his senses, he feels ashamed of his behavior, and worries that his mental instability would cause guinevere to love him less. but she assures him that she loves him and is committed as long as they both live. even in medieval times, people recognized that a strong support system was of utmost importance for the mentally ill to thrive.

lancelot is, for the most part, stable for a time after this, contented to live at sorealis with galehaut (and guinevere for a bit as well). but growing restless, lancelot leaves galehaut's company to go adventuring. through some misunderstanding, galehaut believes lancelot had died, and thus dies of heartbreak himself. on discovery of his beloved's tomb, lancelot grieves so bitterly that he intends to kill himself on the spot. [Lancelot Part IV, Ch. 120. Lancelot Discovers Galehaut’s Casket and Defends It; Lancelot Rescues Meleagant’s Sister]

it's here that a messenger of the lady of the lake arrives. the lady had been informed by her oracle that this would happen, so acting quickly, she sent someone to intervene. the messenger takes the sword from lancelot and immediately gives him a task, one that would exhume galehaut and bring his body to where lancelot would eventually be buried beside him. in the short term, this prevented lancelot from harming himself, and in the long term, guided him toward shifting gears long enough that he eventually overcomes his grief through completion of his lady's instruction.

the next time lancelot is driven mad is after he is beguiled by elaine of corbenic into bed with her at camelot. (this is the second time, galahad had already been conceived). [Lancelot Part VI, Ch. 176 Lancelot and Arthur Go to Gaul; Claudas Abandons Gaunes; King Pelles’s Daughter Deceives Lancelot; Guenevere Expels Lancelot]

at this point, lancelot is beyond the reach of even his mother, the lady of the lake, so this psychotic episode persists for many years. he's declared missing and all of the knights set out in search of him, to no avail, and he is assumed dead. lancelot, meanwhile, survives the winter by attacking people and stealing their resources. [Lancelot Part VI, Ch. 178 Lancelot’s Madness and Subsequent Cure]

eventually, while lancelot is subdued in a deep sleep, a pair of charitable brother knights, recognizing that lancelot is unable to care for himself and a danger to those around him, successfully transport him to their castle. they don't know who he is. they keep him chained for safety but feed and clothe him. during this time, lancelot mutilates himself to be free.

eventually, lancelot is calm enough to be freed from his bindings, and lives with the brothers in this way for two years. he eats little and completely loses touch with his identity and the reality of the world around him.

but one day, lancelot looks out his tower window and sees a passing boar. he's compelled to follow it and departs the castle of the brothers without a word. he ends up in a battle with the boar which he barely survives. a holy man happens upon him and tries to administer healing, but lancelot attacks him.

after this the holy man flees and enlists the help of some men-at-arms, who assist in capturing lancelot and forcibly strapping him to a litter to be drawn away. ultimately, despite the best intentions, lancelot's condition only worsens.

i'm going to make a brief aside here as this reminds me of an article i read detailing a similar situation which occurred in real life. in "the enemy inside" by brian burfield, john of ancaster suffered mental distress as a result of the war in france, subsequently inflicting harm on himself and others. in this case, it was his father that restrained him into a horse-drawn cart, and brought him to a place of healing which was revolutionary of the time period, as friar bartholomeus recognized the connection between trauma and mental distress without attributing it to demonic possession, thus attracting many people in need of help to his monastery for treatment. so there is, at least in part, historical precedence of similar occurrences.

anyway, back to lancelot. he eventually flees from his intended caretakers yet again and wanders to the town of corbenic. there the children recognize his madness and begin to harass him, throwing stones and sticks, until he's incited to retaliate and wounds anyone who crosses him. eventually he wanders into the castle itself. the courtlings recognize he's mad, and feed him scraps. satiated, he literally curls up and sleeps on the floor like a dog. it's this, at last, that allows him to begin the slow recovery to wellness.

finally, after all these years, someone recognizes lancelot for who he is. none other than elaine of corbenic.

she tells her father pelles and he concocts a plan to capture and cure lancelot using the power of the holy grail. so as the times before, they wait until lancelot falls asleep, and bind him up. then at long last, his senses are restored.

when lancelot awakens from his stupor, he knows not how he got there, but begins walking upright and talking coherently again. he implores pelles to explain how he came there. once up to speed. lancelot is grateful no one but pelles and elaine recognized him. now let it be made clear that while lancelot's psychotic episode had finally concluded, he's not otherwise alleviated of mental anguish. he's still depressed about his banishment from logres and camelot, and deeply ashamed of his many years spent mad. thus he requests of pelles to live somewhere far away, where no one but pelles and elaine will ever recognize him.

so an island with a castle is located on which lancelot can live and he, together with elaine and a small court, go there to stay. lancelot loses his knightly abilities and instead takes up the daily ritual of subjecting himself to painful memories of logres, which then in turn bring him "relief" and "comfort". an apt description of rumination and self harm.

eventually, lancelot sends a secret message back to the land of logres intended to entice people to the island to fight him so he can relive the glory days.

in the end, it's lancelot's own half brother hector along with young and newly knighted perceval who find lancelot on the isle of joy. hector tells lancelot that the queen summons him, and lancelot immediately prepares to leave. on hearing this, galahad tells his grandfather he'll go and lodge in the abbey run by his great aunt, so that he might be nearer to his father. [Lancelot Part VI, Ch. 179 Hector and Perceval Find Lancelot, and They All Return to Camelot; Galahad’s Arrival Is Announced]

and with that, lancelot reenters society with his brother and son, which kicks off the grail quest in the subsequent book. that's a lot of info and reading, but all this to say that yeah, lancelot is known for his mental instability, to say the least. thanks for the ask!

[silviakundera]

Lol li rong thought she helped li chuan her whole life in prev life but she didn't know she wasn't being a great sister tbh forcing him to do everything he never wanted 😭

this plotline was so tragic 😭 it really hit the way when you look back at your life you can see other available paths you could have taken. but at the time, at that age, you NEVER would have realized. 😭

she grew up being told by her mom the empress that the only way for her & li chuan to be safe is for li chuan to rise to emperor and solidify his power. and then they almost die when he's deposed and pwx saves them by getting the noble families armies to fight. Li Rong was always thinking of how to solve her brother's problems and keep him safe, but the tragedy is that the only options she can see in her limited POV are a life that makes him feel trapped & miserable. The best part of this story is how it has a lot of sympathy for all of its characters. By the end, we understand their hopes and fears and grievances.

in her second chance life li rong is able to make different choices and use the maturity of a 40 yr old (50 yr old) woman who's experienced illness and death & the regrets you understand at the end of your life. just like in the original timeline, she's frequently thinking about how to solve things for her brother (most of the schemes are ultimately about avoiding him being deposed and setting up things for an easier reign)... but she is listening to him and seeking ways to protect his mental stability & kindness. Not just trying to keep him alive and protected by power but HAPPY and knowing he is loved.

that sibling relationship was SO GOOD in the novel, especially how we can see how her mental thought processes change - she's developing as we 'watch'. and how he truly is a priority for her all the times. and her struggle to show that to him, to be more open and encouraging and expressive.

in the drama, I still think it's quite touching, though it can't serve the same depth. The siblings get a beautiful bittersweet arc. 👌

There is something so sad to me about how much of li rong's life is about service to others, and how much her mental energy is focused on others, yet originally she failed the closest people in her life and they failed her back.

[tragicallyuncreative]

Atsila Cade

Johnny didn’t look enthusiastic. He wasn’t a big fan of Curly, especially since he gave him weed under the guise it was a cigarette and had a bad reaction. He proceeded to spend four hours locked in the bathroom, in tears because he was hearing voices and terrified he was getting sick like his mom.

~

I have no clue what story this will appear in, if any. But I will continue to reference my headcanon that Atsila Cade is schizophrenic (obviously, we know little about her in the book other than the fact that she's an abusive alcoholic). I don't want to make her a truly sympathetic character, as there's no excuse for child abuse. However, I see her as much more than a one-dimensional character who's simply evil and abusive for the hell of it.

Atsila was born in the Cherokee Nation Reservation near Ottawa, Oklahoma and resided there with her parents until her early 20s, when she met Anthony Cade. She began showing symptoms of schizophrenia around age 16, which is unusually early but not unheard of. Initially, there was no cause for alarm. It was small changes; withdrawing from others, not sleeping, having difficulty focusing on academics. Her auditory hallucinations were also not a red flag, in face, it was considered a good thing. Many cultures and religions practice shamanism, a practice that involves interacting with the spirit world. This is certainly a valid thing and does not mean one is mentally ill, rather, they are hearing voices because they are receiving communications from ancestors, spirits, elementals, etc. However, Atsila's experience was different. Her hallucinations were intense and harmful, and she developed classic symptoms of paranoia and delusions of grandeur.

By the time she met Anthony Cade, she was extremely vulnerable: a minority woman with a mental illness and desire to escape her circumstances. He was an alcoholic with a bad temper and desire to control others- and she was an easy target.

She was diagnosed with schizophrenia following an involuntary hospitalization and prescribed medication. Like many individuals with this diagnosis, she struggled with medication compliance (stopping because they feel "better", fear that pills are actually poison, etc) as well as an alcohol addiction as it masked her symptoms and quieted the voices. Alcohol did a good job at suppressing her delusions, unfortunately, under its influence she was angry and abusive, no better than her husband.

Her longest stretch of sobriety and medication adherence was nearly a year, when Johnny was six. Her arrest and subsequent court-ordered therapy and treatment regimen did wonders. She became the type of mother little Johnny had hoped for- loving and dedicated to making a better life for her son. She was nowhere near perfect, but it felt like enough for him. She took him to the reservation to meet his grandparents, and he felt connected to his culture for the first time. She made meals. She helped with homework. It didn't last.

Johnny spent his teen years (and later in our happy alternative endings) terrified that he would become afflicted with the same illness that stole his real mother, the person deep down, away. He wouldn't touch drugs or alcohol, afraid it may trigger the process. He obsessively had Ponyboy find books on schizophrenia and read them to him, hoping to find something, anything, that could decrease his chances of developing it. And he clung to the memories of his mother in those good days, going back again and again to the home he hated, to shouting and abuse and fear, hoping for glimpses of her again. And sometimes, he was rewarded.