#it’s 3am let me live

[chotachica]

They get along

[dontsearchformyaccount]

Natasha Romanoff Imagine part 1

Here to daydream about my favorite Person <3 have fun

1.Y/n calling Natasha , Natalia for the first time

Nat:

2.Y/n whispering, how cute she thinks , Nat looks with short hair

Nat:

3.Nat after Y/n told her she would not love her if she was a worm:

4.Y/n trying to make Nat laugh at a boring mission:

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[ink-blot-thoughts]

Wait holy shit if Childe had fallen into the abyss just a bit younger and was yeeted to the fatui at the same age...

Do you think he wouldve been adopted by Arlecchino's orphanage?? Now there is an AU I wanna see. Murder gremlin Childe who's only parental figures for years have been hot scary abyss woman and hot scary Harbinger woman.

No wait I'm so into this she makes him wear the scarf and scoffs about his ridiculous stomach window in Harbinger meetings and he instinctually does the "Daaaaaad" whine and the other Harbingers are trying desperately not to laugh cause they know Arlecchino is down to shank a bitch.

Just. Childe raised by Arlecchino. Chefs kiss.

[insoukokuhell-434]

It’s funny to think of how they were probably kinda stoked to actually put that shit into practice

Imagine them at the strategizing meeting like,

Dazai: Wait Chuuya…we can do the Thing

Chuuya: …

Chuuya: Oh my god we can do the Thing

Or straight up just communicating with their eyes in Meursault, like “are you thinking what I’m thinking? 👀”

[anurarana]

My frustration with Jason Peter Todd is that there is a universe out there where he was given a decades-long character arc; one where he could learn from his mistakes, and make amends where necessary, all the while still acknowledging the pain both caused by himself, his actions, his decisions, as well as the flipside, the harm he has personally lived through intentional or not.

This is a character that will always have his motives and ideology shaped by the trauma he lived through and died for, but the way it feels like current comics interact with that trauma is just one big bad event that everyone else has gotten over and yet he is never allowed to move on from. All he is ever allowed to be is the self-proclaimed black sheep, the one who died, but he's not able to deconstruct what all that meant for him, his morals and foundational beliefs as a character, because we had to shove it all aside way to quickly to make room for big happy bat family.

His entire existence feels like it is there to either serve as a punchline or surface level angst when needed. No one knows what to do with Jason anymore because they never gave him the space for real character growth when it was necessary.

I feel like I'm always like haha yeah Jason Todd, I wish he was worse. I wish he was in more pain. I wish he was alone, and he hated everyone again and vise versa. But it's more that I find his personal morals and ethics fascinating, I just wish they were properly fleshed out and given the time and consideration to evolve and expand along with his growth as a person. I want him to be wrong. I want him to fuck up, and fuck up again. His passion is what makes him interesting!!

I also want him to learn and grow into his skin without throwing away everything he stands for. That he could actually become a solid argument to the status quo that mainline comics can find themselves falling into, one that you get the sense he was originally brought back to be. But instead, he's the angry one that is insane and kills people, or swing way too hard in the opposite end, and all of his claws have been filed off— he's just a sad boy with no real poignant internal dilemmas anymore.

Idk, maybe I like the idea of a guy being able to heal over time. Maybe the idea that you are doomed to relive the mistakes of the past forever is exhausting. But what we have right now is so boring and lame that I'm out here advocating for them to just kill him off again.

[nicoscheer]

I’m not crying you are crying yes I’m crying

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How is he not freezing to death

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His fucking eyes 🫠

Come on Barbie let’s go party

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Love the leadmill for posting this story like half an hour before Miles went on 🤣 like for a millisecond I was like huh Alex what you doing

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Love love that SETLIST (and the little commentary about the transition songs and especially “commentary”) (also damn sure it ain’t correct cause there are videos of cry on my guitar and never taking me alive so …)

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Okay but like why he looking so pretty in that BeReal like he’s performing live and still it looks like he’s posing fucking model

I am living for all them Maxie pics

INTERSTELLAR DRESSED IN LEATHER DRINKING BITTER BOY

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She has also uploaded a bunch of videos to her Miles Kane highlight

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Miles slowly waking back up at around 1pm 🫶🏽🤣

[ultimate-bamtori]

i really have no idea what kind of moodboards to make rn

[fadeintoyou1993]

woke up again. had another nightmare AGAIN

[shazamablam]

hypotheticals

You would lay your head on my chest,listen to my heart beat in the silence, I'd pull you in closer,kiss the top of your head,you would sigh into the night,our breaths intertwined,our hearts beat the same....you would point to some distant part of the night sky and I'd say something cheesy, you'd laugh,and my cheek's would get flush with embarrassment,I'd steal a glance or two of you laughing,you would catch me looking and stop, you would look at me with those eyes as black as the night,and I would gaze back into the void longingly....

[iamterribleatusernames]

i like to think i am a professional unprofessional

*jigs away*

[killa-trav]

listen i get why there's so much fuss about the whole will taylor make it to the super bowl shit but like is it really that deep? cos ngl there's wayyy more important shit to be worrying about n i just don't think this is headline worthy at all

[mita-vittua-olivia]

okay apparently i’m going to finland in two months !!

[nohkalikai]

i miss bugs and spiders and worms

[leatherforhell]

starter for @stygicniron

It takes a while before she speaks up. It isn't spying, really. Eavesdropping at best. Simple curiosity keeps her quiet as she watches the boy sidle into the graveyard like he's made a home there. And maybe he has, for all she knows. Clara doesn't generally like waltzing into places like this-- the underlying sensation of the past-living always makes her skin itch-- but once in a while won't hurt. She moves after him with quiet grace before appearing on a large headstone next to him.

"Whatcha doooin'?" She asks, with a Cheshire Cat's grin. Her feet swing lightly, her ankles crossed, as she leans back on her arms.

[actuallylink]

Listen, Deidara is my favorite Akatsuki, hands down

however

i would let itachi or pain absolutely dawg me, yk?