#it’s a one sided hatred

[larkermarker]

Matt could be talking about all the ways he wants to kill Edd and Tom wouldn’t hear a thing with what’s going on in his mind.

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[ash-and-starlight]

soulmates not in the romantic sense of the word but in the way two people’s fates entwine again and again, in the way they’re a mirror of each other in ways nobody else would understand, in the way their actions shaped each other’s destinies, and are the only ones who can understand the particular way the other has been ostracized from society. soulmates whose presence resonates in each other’s soul as clear as a compass and yet through all this they just can’t fucking stand each other. soulmates (derogatory)

[hartteart]

if you hate yourself so much why don’t you hatemarry yourself?

[chaoticace2005]

Okay but… Adam and Vox starting a club of people who hate Alastor and also had their love interest(s) attention stolen by Lucifer.

[imaybe5tupid]

Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

[strafepanzer]

enemies to lovers is so incredibly amazing, however.. they BOTH need to hate each other. none of that half assed "they secretly loved them" BULL SHIT!! push and disdain and glares and arguments from both sides until that majestic moment--whatever it is-- that helps these two really discover each other, really makes them LOOK at the other person. then we get the internal conflict!! SO SEXY!! "wait, does this person actually have good qualities?" it makes them so deeply aware of the other person. they see the GOOD. then DENIAL!!!!! SO MUCH DENIAL!!! all of those complicated feelings layering on top of each other-- hatred, longing, denial, lust, confusion-- pressurised until they EXPLODE into that moment. that moment is so satisfying!! of course, then you get the double back, and the relationship can change into something else, BUT the important part is the morphing and internal conflict these characters go through on that journey, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[nerdestiwrites]

call to the devil and the devil will come

The rest of the hotel had gone to sleep hours prior, the last to return to their rooms having been Charlie and Vaggie, strictly because Vaggie had practically forced the Princess to bed. Charlie had tried to argue, to say that she wasn’t tired, that she could stay up, that if her father was staying up then so could she. Vaggie had none of it, picking up the blonde and carrying her up to the bed as the exhausted princess half struggled against her girlfriend. All the while Lucifer watched from the bar, shouting a goodnight to his little girl and her girlfriend.

The bartender, Rusk, Busk, Nusk, something of that sort, had gone to bed just twenty minutes earlier after the King had assured the demon that his assistance was no longer needed. The cat seemed hesitant about leaving the bar unattended, about leaving his job when clearly Lucifer had no intentions of going to bed, but didn’t argue much past a few grunts and small mutters about how it wasn’t his problem now he was off the clock.

He sat at the bar, two fingers holding onto a thin straw as they stirred around the contents of the nearly empty drink. He hadn’t meant to drink, he was a sloppy drunk and knew that much, but Charlie wanted to celebrate now that the hotel had been rebuilt. She wanted everyone to celebrate, and so he agreed because now that he was back with his daughter, he wouldn’t do anything to disappoint her again. He couldn’t let himself drift back into the haze of never knowing what day it was, letting information just pass by him rather than taking it in and understanding it, of letting himself drift away from her again. He wouldn’t let that happen.

The look on Charlie's face when she realized that Alastor wouldn’t be joining the celebrations, was an excuse, Lucifer knew it was an excuse, about needing to prepare for one of his radio shows, or maybe he had said something about a meeting with someone, or something, it didn’t matter in the end. What had mattered was the disappointment on Charlie's face. Lucifer would absolutely not let that disappointment last on his daughter's face.

So he immediately did what he did best. Distraction. He kicked Husk out from behind the bar, having told him that even the bartender deserved a drink sometimes, and began making everyone a specialized drink. A cotton candy martini for Angel Dust, a muddled blackberry old fashioned for Husk, a cherry flavored Vegas bomb for Cherri, a simple spiked strawberry lemonade for Vaggie, and a rubber duckie-themed drink for Charlie. 

A handful of drinks later, and soon Charlie begged for him to drink with them. He tried to argue, even tried to make a mocktail for himself, but that damned cat bartender saw right through it. And so he had a few cocktails as well, and his mixing became less structured, no longer measured, and more of a free pour, which led to way too strong of drinks. The rest was a blurry mess he struggled to keep straight in his head, and now he sat alone, an empty glass with ice melting and a straw stirring it around.

As he stared into the empty glass, the devil let his head rest in his free hand, eyes closing momentarily as he took in a deep breath. Sleep wasn’t something that found him often, and he’d rather do anything besides lay in bed and stare at the wall or ceiling while his mind spun in the fuzzy state it was in currently. That would definitely be a one-way street to spiraling and he had been doing so well at staying focused and keeping his head on straight. If he spiraled now he might leave the hotel, and if he left, he knew he wouldn’t have the energy to return again. 

So Lucifer stood, stumbled, grabbed onto the edge of the bar, and groaned for a moment as the room spun around him. Sitting on the floor sounded like a good idea but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get up and what a state to find the King of Hell. No, he couldn’t do that either. It would be at least somewhat respectable if he passed out on the couch inside the parlor of the hotel rather than the floor. 

He forced himself to stand straight, focused his eyes on the couch in the near distance, and moved his legs. He kicked his apple cane, sending it to the floor and rolling away but he couldn’t have cared less about the item. No, he had a goal in mind. Couch. Make it to the couch. His hand moved, his angelic power working without his mind helping, and a small plain rubber duck appeared clutched in his hand. 

He squeaked the duck once, then twice, focus. It helped him focus as much as he hated to admit it, even in the drunken state, and he made it to the couch. Lucifer allowed himself to practically fall face-first into the couch, his entire body fitting along the length of it and he groaned. Perhaps he should’ve eaten before drinking so much, perhaps he should’ve been a bit more firm in his no.

The king really should’ve been better. Better than this, better for his daughter. He shouldn’t have just locked himself away, isolating himself from everyone. That did nothing but hurt Charlie, even if he had thought it was the best thing to do. Now there was a strain between him and her and he wasn’t sure he could ever fix it. He needed to fix it. He needed to. Needed to. 

He needed to have something in the background. Music, a show, a podcast, something to keep his mind focused and not spiraling. A squeak of his duck and he sat up on the couch, eyes searching for a remote or a TV or something. Instead, they found an old radio, one of Alastors radios, and a low grumble escaped his lips. Spiraling might be better than using that demon's radio for anything. 

A squeak of his duck told him otherwise and he sighed. Damn, his mind. Damnit it.

A wave of his hand and the radio turned on. Static filled the room and Lucifer the empty hand over his face before reaching over to fiddle with the knobs on the damned ancient relic, not like he had a lot of room to actually say those words out loud. He wasn’t one to usually want to watch TV, it scrambled the brain, and he was much older than the old radio was.

Turning the dial a few times to the left, and then to the right, the devil settled on a frequency that had been playing soft jazz. The music filled the air and he allowed his head to fall back against the couch as he listened, focusing on the different instruments that he could pick out and recognize. Perhaps if he could sit here long enough, he could get past the drunkenness and skip right past the hangover. Wishful thinking, drunk wishful thinking, but still. The king might not have many hopes left, let this be one that he knew was silly.

The radio started to glitch, or rather, it sounded like someone had turned the dial, interrupting the jazz and filling the room with static. An annoyed look crossed Lucifer's face and he looked up at the small radio. The dial was still pointed at the direction he had left it, but the static continued to get louder and more intense. He frowned, eyebrows furrowed, and he reached forward, turned the dial, and nothing. It remained the same. He groaned audibly now and sat up once more, the duck dropping from his hand and rolling underneath the couch. The radio suddenly shut off.

“Hahaha! What a sight to see! Truly!” The voice with the radio filter over it filled the silence and Lucifer's head snapped in its direction.

There stood Alastor, hands clasped behind his back as he leaned forward over the couch, staring down at the King. The fallen angel growled and went to grab onto the demon, however in his drunken state he had been too slow, or perhaps he overestimated how far he needed to grab, or maybe it was a mixture of both, and he ended up tumbling over the back of the couch onto the floor. A laugh track filled the air and Lucifer could feel the anger and embarrassment flowing through him more. The alcohol inside his system fueled his emotions. 

“You-” The King started as he pulled himself up off the floor, using the couch for support before whipping to face the demon once more. “You are so fucking lucky that Charlie cares for you. I would-would fuck you so hard.” His words slurred and he stumbled to find the words he wanted to say, and even when he wasn’t drunk he had a difficult time saying what he actually meant.

The Radio demon, who now stood a few feet away from the devil, raised an eyebrow, his smile tightening slightly as his head turned to the side slightly, mockingly. He stood there staring at Lucifer with that stupid face, mocking him. Oh, how he would love to wipe that smile off of the other's face.

Alastor stepped to the side as Lucifer rushed at him and watched the smaller man nearly trip and fall once more to the floor. He hummed, and laughed again, loud with the laugh track behind his voice. He was clearly entertained by the devil's inebriated state, which pissed Lucifer off even more. “Do you need help, sire?” He asked.

“Fuck you!” Lucifer snapped as he held his head, feeling a wave of nausea start to wash over him. 

“I would rather not.” Alastor mused, a taunt, and he snickered quietly. “Be careful with saying those words too loud, you might wake a certain resident who wouldn’t be so averse to spending a night with royalty.” 

That hadn’t been what he meant, the Radio demon knew that, he just wanted to get underneath the fallen angels' skin it seemed, and it was working. Lucifer's jaw clenched and he balled his hands into fists, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands before he took in a deep breath. Then he snapped his fingers, causing Alastors feet to become literally attached to the floor he was standing on.

Lucifer stalked toward him now that the other couldn’t move away and he saw Alastors eyes narrow as his smile tightened, the radio frequencies filling the air erratically. He moved the couch slightly with a wave of his hand so it was right behind the demon and then looked up at his face. The way Alastor stared down at him caused the anger to boil inside his chest more and it gave him the strength he needed. 

The apple cane suddenly appeared inside his hand and the king used it to shove Alastor, shoving him hard with the cane right in his torso, causing the other to fall over the side of the couch onto the cushions as the power holding his feet disappeared completely. 

Lucifer saw a flash of pain across the demon's face, the smile remaining couldn’t hide the pain inside the others' eyes, and for a moment he felt guilty. Then, as Lucifer stood there, stared at the demon as he laid on the couch, catching his breath, a hand over his torso, he could feel it. The fallen angel could feel the angelic energy radiating off of Alastors chest, he could feel it pulsating with every heartbeat and could feel it seeping further into the demon.

He sighed. A deep and long sigh as he realized what he had to do. The image of the disappointed face of Charlie flashing in his mind turned to one of grief and sadness. No, he wouldn’t let that happen to his little girl, he wouldn’t let that look ever cross her face again if there was anything he could do about it. 

And so, even in his drunken state, the anger had completely dissipated and had been replaced. He leaned over the side of the couch, fighting off the next wave of nausea that came rushing forth, and he stared at the demon who glared up at him. Alastor went to get off the couch, wanting to get out from under the King and get away from feeling like he was cornered, however, when he went to move, Lucifer's hand came down and touched his chest. 

A sharp radio noise came from Alastor at the touch, and Lucifer grunted. He undid the buttons on the demon's shirt and pulled away the soaked bandages, staring at the wound intently. “That looks like it-it hurts.” He commented offhandedly as he shook his head. Again, the cane was disregarded, no longer needing it and drunkenly not caring where it ended up at the moment. The fallen angel then hovered his hand over the wound, he knew in his current state he wouldn’t be able to heal it completely, he wouldn’t be able to get rid of the angelic radiation inside the wound that would continue to fester, but he could fight it off some and provide some pain relief. 

The Radio demon had his concerns, that much was evident as his entire body tensed at the light emanating from the king's hand, and he gripped the edge of the couch as he felt the warmth on his torso, but his body relaxed on its own as the intense pain he had been feeling subsided to almost nothing. Alastor blinked twice as he looked down at the wound, watching bright light, and Lucifer smiled confidently, smugly, as he pulled his hand back. That would be all he could feasibly do for the night unless he wanted to pass out and fall on top of the demon. Which would be worse than the floor. 

“I’m going… I’m going to… Fuck.” Lucifer moved away from the demon and shook his head a few times, grunting at his own slurring of his words. He needed to get to bed, even if he wasn’t going to sleep. If he was in his room at least then he wouldn’t embarrass himself so much. 

Alastor, always one to keep a smile on his face, to keep the show going, smirked at the perfect opportunity to spin the scenario back around. “You’re not going to do that with me, sire.”

Lucifer growled and glared at Alastor, immediately regretting what he had done for the demon. “That wasn’t what-what I was fucking saying and-nd you know it.” He snapped. “Going to bed.” Short and to the point, no chance of messing it up that time. 

Normally he would teleport himself to his room, it was easier and he wouldn’t have to walk as he wasn’t sure he could walk, but the risk of teleporting somewhere besides his room was a big enough fear that he decided he’d risk walking and falling on his face. So Lucifer turned away from the Radio demon and made his way carefully up the steps. He walked down the hallway, using the wall for support, and stopping every few feet to make sure he wasn’t going to be sick. Then he’d continue. And once he made it to his room, he congratulated himself before falling face first on the bed, burying his face into the pillows with a loud groan. He’d be regretting every single one of his life choices tomorrow, he knew that. He could already feel the regret with every passing wave of nausea threatening to win and take over. He’d have to tell Charlie, no more drinking nights for this old man, he couldn’t do it anymore.

[onesidedradiostatic]

Omfg, imagining how with Vox's head would "malfunction" whenever Alastor is around no matter what model his TV was and Alastor always making a comment of something like "you always say that your new models would perform better and better, yet they always still go away. I'm starting to even wonder why you bother upgrading your head if none of those problems go away" (Vox would get even more nervous whenever Alastor makes that kind of comment too)

..and Alastor has zero fucking clue that HE is the very REASON why Vox's TV malfunctions a lot. He has a big fat pathetic crush on you, you AroAce dumbass. (Least pre-rejection days. Vox's feelings now are super complicated but still strong for him)

LMAOOOO I love this, I find it incredibly funny if alastor just legitimately thinks the new tech is malfunctioning not just due to oblivion but also due to him looking down on new tech so it's not much of a surprise to him that it would malfunction. see, this is why he doesn't dip too much into video, this glitchy new technology is unreliable if it malfunctions this much.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

MEENAH: what my mom probubbly thinks i do when im home alone: "Sea’s probubbly drinking and smoking and doing drugs and finviting fronds over and partying--"

MEENAH: what im actually doin: [speedruns baking]

PORRIM: Ho+w do+ yo+u speedrun baking?

RUFIOH: toss everyth1ng 1n a bak1ng pan and bake at 700 degrees for f1ve m1nutes...

PORRIM: Do+ne. My hive burned to+ the gro+und, but I made a perfect lo+af o+f bread.

[megyulmi]

Getou Suguru and Monkeys seen through the lens of Buddhism.

[year by year, the monkey’s mask reveals the monkey. - bashō]

➠ how Suguru became what he told himself he hated the most:

Depending on the Buddhist school, Monkeys can have various symbolisms. Here I am going to look at them as a metaphor for an Unenlightened Mind. ‘Monkey Reaching for the Moon’s Reflection’ is a common theme in Zen paintings. It derives from a Buddhist story in which five hundred monkeys hold onto each other’s tails and attempt to seize the reflection of a moon in a well (or a lake). They fail when the branch from which they are hanging breaks and they fall into the water, breaking the surface and along with it the moon’s reflection. In this tale, the monkeys stand for unenlightened people who cannot distinguish between reality and illusion, mistaking the reflection of the object for the thing itself and grasping at what in reality is not there. They represent an ignorant one who has yet not found Enlightenment.

Monkeys from Suguru’s perspective are no different. He uses the word to refer to non-sorcerers, who are ignorant of the world of sorcery and what sorcerers go through to ensure their safety. In that sense, Monkeys to Suguru are what Monkeys represent in the above-mentioned Buddhist tale. They do not see the reality the sorcerers live and if they do recognise the existence of sorcerers instead of acknowledging the sacrifices sorcerers make for them, to reference Suguru himself, under the concept of the gods they have created, the non-sorcerers bring harm upon the sorcerers.

However, Suguru’s hate of Monkeys and his actions to eradicate them make him no different from the Monkeys he loathes in the end.

There is a Buddhist concept called ‘Monkey mind’ or ‘Mind monkey’. It is used to describe a state of restlessness, capriciousness, and lack of control in one’s thoughts. The term comes from a Buddhist story where a man receives a magical monkey from a master that can fulfill any task. Thrilled, the man asks the monkey to do numerous helpful things, but soon finds himself overwhelmed by the constant requests as the monkey finishes each task in no time and asks him for more work day and night. Seeking help, the man returns to the master, who gives him a single curly hair and tells him to have the monkey make it straight. The man does so and the monkey sits down, fully focused on the little hair. He pulls it straight, it bounces back, again and again. Despite the monkey’s efforts, the hair always springs back, allowing the man to finally find relief and rest.

This story shows how one can never find peace so long as one continues to obsess over the ideals (or tasks) of the material world, like the Monkey, who would endlessly try to pull the hair straight, failing to recognise its true nature. How can one find freedom then? For one to achieve Enlightenment, one must start by freeing oneself from the ‘Monkey mind’, or the ideals one obsesses over. Buddhists do it through meditation and practising the Three Jewels of Buddhism (Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha are primary acts of the Buddhist faith that create the learning journey towards nirvana).

What about Suguru? Does he ever find freedom from the ideal he has dedicated his life to?

As we know, Suguru doesn’t let go of his hatred of Monkeys even in his final moments. He holds onto it and in that same sense, he holds himself from attaining liberation (from the indefinitely repeated cycles of birth, misery, and death caused by karma, i.e. samsara), as to find Enlightenment is to escape the three fires, or poisons, of anger (or hatred), greed, and delusion. In Buddhism, hate is a source of dukkha and brings suffering to the person who does the hating. Emotions like hatred, fear and jealousy create karmic prisons for a being and drive them deeper into the illusion of ego. Suguru chooses not to let go of his hatred and in the eyes of Buddhism, remains as ignorant as the Monkeys in the tales and subsequently, the Monkeys he hates.

[Disclaimer: This is only a personal perspective as just another reader and not a claim that this is how Akutami intended to depict him. This particular choice of word has always made me think of these tales, however. Additionally, English is not my native language and I have never read JJK in English, so certain terminologies I use may not be the correct equivalent of the English language.]

[dykealloy]

hi for the love of god hello

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[shadowiie]

Emotion

“Shahra... We have to stop him... Please, lend me your power!”

[krasytoonz]

Cold

[ricesinspo]

☆ — one-sided relationship prompts. by @ricesinspo, credits appreciated!

— ☆ —

[★] realizing you're not your closest friend's best friend, "hey, do you want to hang out with me?" "sure, can my best friend come too?"

[★] overhearing them talk about the people they value most ... you were never mentioned once.

[★] wanting to be closer. waiting for the day they'll see you as their number one, not some... other guy.

[★] "y.. you don't get it ... i'm tired of being the second option. why can't i be your favorite?"

[★] not even bothering to tell them anything because you know they don't feel the same.

[★] your friendship with them feels more distant now that they're seeing someone romantically.

[★] "... 'just friends'? what do you mean, 'just' friends? do you care about me less just because we're not dating?"

[★] how haven't they realized you hate their guts? why do they still love acting all buddy-buddy with you?

[★] "... what do you mean you like me."

[★] "look, i don't like you. like, at all. cut that out. don't talk to me."

[★] wishing they would just get away from you.

— ☆ —

mostly non romantic! (because honestly screw romance! /hj) just anything about unrequited / one-sided feelings.