#it’s a realistic reaction and one many people would have in the same scenario

[nightcolorz]

I think part of why communities autistic representation with Abed is so good isn’t just how it portrays the symptoms and experience accurately, but also how it conveys plot lines and story arcs about the different types of people and interpersonal conflict an autistic person would face. Community definitely isn’t the first show to have ableism as a conflict, but in my experience of watching stuff it’s the first show I’ve seen that has such a nuanced approach to so many different types of ableism and different realistic reactions and solutions (all while being a sitcom with a cast of morally corrupt characters and absurd fantastical scenarios).

Frankie Dart for example, who is introduced in season 6, is kind of that level headed business woman archetype, conveys that she has a lot of experience with disabled ppl in her personal life, and (as is later confirmed) a lot of affection for them bcus she has a sister with a high support needs disability. This draws her to Abed, being that he’s autistic, and the two begin and understanding and friendship. Frankie is very kind and unusually understanding and compassionate towards Abed and his needs, and communicates with him in a way that is refreshingly easy for him to understand. And at the same time, patterns of infantilizing and condescending behavior begin to occur in their dynamic, until eventually Frankie outright says that abed “doesn’t know any better”, conveying to him that she thinks he’s too disabled to be aware of what he wants and believes, or to make his own decisions without someone who knows what’s best for him to guide him. And the great thing is everyone who witnesses her say this is disgusted 😭🫶 she is berated bcus everyone who knows abed knows that he is a grown ass man who doesn’t need to be hand held or condescended to.

But what’s so interesting about this conflict with Frankie is that she does earnestly mean well, she’s not a one sided abliest villain, she’s a person who could really exist. What is conveyed is that Frankie infantilizes abed bcus she has an expectation of autism that does not apply to every autistic person. She assumes that bcus her sister has high support needs and needs help making decisions, that abed is the same way, bcus she thinks all autistic ppl r like her sister and acts accordingly. And then she learns that this is wrong, and abed is fully capable of functioning without her help. It’s great! There’s no moral speech about how autistic ppl aren’t babies or anything like that. Frankie means well, fucks up, and is forgiven when she changes her behavior.

I just love it bcus ableism and other forms of bigotry aren’t often portrayed with so much nuance. Ableism isn’t usually this big thing, most people r on some degree abliest, and a lot of the time people who have a lot of experience with disabled ppl and mean well (especially ppl with disabled family or siblings) end up having the most abliest biases, it just feels so real.

[raywritesthings]

I think the best indication for me of why Hawkeye and BJ are too dissimilar to have become friends in any other situation besides both being assigned to the same MASH unit is that, when Hawkeye is upset about their situation as draftee doctors miles from home, he typically rails against the system that put them there and/or anyone that supports that system; when BJ’s upset about the same thing, he tends to just lash out at Hawkeye who is entirely blameless and often just attempting to offer him comfort.

Which makes sense. Hawkeye is a much safer target than the American military-industrial complex. But it also shows the stark difference between how they process emotions, problem-solve, and their values.

[lu-zijing]

WHAT THE ———-

WHAT THE HECK, SO THIS IS OFFICIAL ART AFTER ALL!!!!!!?✨✨

/ Soukoku discussion ahead:

Okay, no, I'm sorry, I've seen it before, this is old news, I know, but I kinda thought someone had edited them together, especially because many people said it looked like they had kissed - being very debatable whether or not it is just battle dust/wounds or actual traces of them kissing......

In my own opinion: Dazai's "scratch" is a bit weirdly placed- but Chuuya's does look more like a normal scratch.. But then again, why is it the only place both of them even have scratches on their face?? The rest of their faces are completely clean, have they even been in a battle? Wouldn't it be more realistic to have multiple small cuts, scratches, or at least some kind of dust or dirt then? - Like this: Which Chuuya had in the actual Dead Apple movie:

Could be an artistic choice for the Official art piece ofc, but then, Why do they just have that one scratch, both of them???

Yeah, okay I guess it isn't directly unrealistic to get just one scratch, but both?? Almost the same place??? Both scratches even look to be made the same way, if you look closely. At least they are drawn the same way - Either they just draw all scratches the same way, or this could mean they were from the same source. But ofc, we have no way of knowing, if that source is kissing, but it couuuld- Okay, yeah, mayybe I'm/we're overthinking it since the, well- ~ship~ But I can definitely see how the whole Idea started. I see it like this, it's probably some sort of actual scratch from battle, but it potentially being from a kiss, can't be completely ruled out either.

Here's a post from Reddit where someone pointed it out:

-Although in the start I thought, that's easy to add, it must be fanmade, looks like they used some scenes from Dead Apple, and... well..... yeah... Okay, I was likely a bit in denial at that point, even everyone around me talked about it as if it were Official.....

And just the fact that it says "HAPPY KISS!" in the text.... (( I am a Soukoku shipper, and now it's said- But Okay, I can be realistic - I can't speak Japanese, it's likely in some other context, but still, you can't help but let the thoughts run wild, and you know I'm right— And just.. The way Chuuya smiles so happily and innocently......!!! Chuuya please do that in the canon story as well— It kinda freaks me out a little though but still—

But... I don't know what to believe about this piece, to be honest. - Even if they actually turn out to be romantically involved with each other somehow, it doesn't mean they necessarily kissed in this specific art piece. It could, but it doesn't have to be. (Even if they haven't kissed I absolutely adore this art piece both as a neutral fan and a shipper..!!! The shipping is taking the upper hand though, that's just how it works, no point denying-))

And besides, would it really be hinted like this??

If it really was the Artist's/team behind this Official art piece's intention to make people think or doubt they kissed -if they actually HAD kissed- I bow in the dust to them- Damn-

It Would also mean that Chuuya and Dazai likely ALREADY have a relationship-!? In the course of the current timeline, I suppose. Which I imagine, is also one of many theories.

Like, I don't think an entire confession scene happened there, so if they kissed, it would have had to have been a thing already. Highly likely at least. Okay maybe I'm going too much into this now-

Personally, I would prefer to see a confession scene between them in the present, should they really come together romantically canonically.

But I certainly couldn't (or wouldn't!)) complain either if it turned out they have had a secret relationship this whole time-!! Imagine the reactions—--! Someone must have drawn that scenario already. Damn, I wanna see it now- If you wanna, feel freeee to draw it and mention me so I can see~~ I would praise you to the heavens, for reading this far, and even drawing it- *ahem* anyhow-

However unlikely, one can always dream — Dream with me if you would like~ ✨ 

And I hope you enjoyed reading this whole silly delightful thing!! Hopefully, you really did, if you read all the way down to here-! 😅 ✨  It became longer than expected-

But well! No matter what - So it WAS from an Official Magazine cover from Spoon-2di!! - These Magazines - Which I figured out was a thing after my last post, about what the heck the magazines were about - Now I know, MANY thanks to @originalaccountname ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ 

They really do have some amazing Official art, just the covers alone! Go check out my post that I linked, in it there are a good handful of them! Otherwise, just go Google "BSD Magazine covers" If You didn't know already, you will thank me later-!

Thanks for reading! Until next time-!

[thoseyoulove]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part II (with a bit of spoilers)

I found out my problem with the narration and description isn't with Anne, but Lestat. That dude sometimes focuses on the most useless stuff instead of telling what is happening or what he's feeling. I'm like, Lestat de Lioncourt, get your priorities (not) straight? But it's not much of a problem anymore now, because it gives me a better idea of who he is and how he thinks, so I appreciate that. I enjoy the immersion, even with someone as chaotic and as distracted as he is.

Turns out when Lestat FINALLY gives me a good picture of things, it's with the WORST event possible.

Remember what Louis said about the little drink? That's the whole experience from the moment Magnus kidnaps Lestat, turns him, kills himself before his eyes and leaves him completely alone. Multiply your worst case scenario by a trillion.

Not that I would want Magnus to stay, God forbid, but the next moment is still pretty bad. You might believe it gets better after his death, but it's not immediately.

Lestat goes from being too frozen to move, to fighting with every fiber of his being and then trying to take it as a positive thing? Which, well, it's a realistic reaction to it, but also heartbreaking.

It's not exactly "rape", but it has pretty much everything a rape can have without penetration? So it basically felt like the same thing to me.

It's quite a long chapter, it's considerably graphic (at least for me), took me over 2 hours to finish it (maybe it was even closer to 3 hours, I don't remember anymore, but I struggled a lot), I kept taking pauses, whenever I thought it was over it kept going and kept getting worse.

It is well-written in the way that makes sense, that moves the story, that narrates and describes what's happening with details, that you can really picture it in your head, that is extremely intense and emotional... But it's obviously not an exciting part.

I feel bad for the way Lestat immediately shifts afterwards and tries to make the most of it. Not that I wanted him to be miserable and feeling sorry for himself, but I'm like, something terrible happened to you and it's okay to take time to deal with it. I'm not even sure he understands how traumatic that was? If he does, he doesn't acknowledge it, let alone admit it. Not even to himself. And it's just frustrating.

Even after I read it, it stuck with me and took me more than a day to get over. I kept remembering it even when I was doing totally different stuff.

It's cool to navigate through things with him as Lestat finds more about how his body and powers operate.

When he went to the village and began to experiment with his powers was fun. Him jumping, cutting trees and whatever the other silly things he was doing and I can't fully remember... It was like an ADHD child high on sugar and sort of cute.

Is that presence... Armand?

You can take the man out of the church, but you can't take the church out of the man (or the vampire), apparently.

This probably isn't necessary, but I want that scene that he sees the house with the family and reads their thoughts? The idea of seeing the thoughts of babies is so sweet... It's not even for him, it's more of a me thing, I guess. I would just like to see it. I don't know. Maybe I'm being too sensitive and PMSing lol. Don't @ me.

Lestat has kissed so many people at this point and he hardly gives details, so I'm like, what are you kissing? A cheek? A hand? A mouth? Is it a friendly peck on the lips? Is it tongue-kissing? Elaborate? I mean, I don't care because the way he does it feels as trivial as a fart lmao. The only one he really has a deeper relationship with so far is Nicki, so I only kind of care about Lestat with him. It's not really a problem, but I just find the whole thing vague and ridiculous lol.

It's not even Lestat that has BPD, but BPD has Lestat at this point. The man is intense, has crazy mood swings, has extreme reactions to things, engages in dangerous behavior, is highly irresponsible with money, has a chronic fear of being alone... I know one when I see it. And vampirism didn't fix it, it only made it worse.

A bit off topic, but there's something about France that is so enchanting? I've always been obsessed with it in some ways, some places, the architecture, the language, the art... It's not like I'm a big nerd or anything, I can't barely name stuff to save my life, but just looking, hearing and thinking about it... There's just some charm to it. I've realized that the simple fact of stories being set in France makes me excited for some reason. I would love if they filmed there and in some of my favorite spots (cough Sainte-Chapelle and Carcassonne cough), for the mere reason it would look gorgeous and they should because I said so. Maybe in a past life I lived there or something, but I've always had that fascination, God knows why.

"Why the hell did Anne write and word it like that?" moment #1, I guess. At least it was fast and I can erase it from my memory.

The book has gotten quite faster and more eventful now, it's definitely better than when I first started it. I hate when it takes too long for things to happen, so this pace is good. And crucial moments happen pretty early on, which I appreciate. It's nice to know I've read some of the most important events by now, even as disturbing as they are. One of the downsides of being in this fandom is not having the full information, so already knowing part of the big events is satisfying.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat's narration, which can be unreliable. I'm reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I'll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I'm enjoying it. I'm posting these comments only for fun.

[clericofshadows]

having regis shepard thoughts™ especially ones about some fluffy, hilarious, and early ME3 moments regarding the triad.

this all kind of started because Regis and Kaidan would not be subtle about their relationship before mars, but after mars...? not many people know about Zaeed...and when he's back on board and Kaidan isn't yet, and Regis is also a little affectionate with Zaeed (but not as overt)... idk if this will make it into canon but like, it's a fun little thing I was thinking of :) sometimes you just gotta think about fun little scenarios with your favorite characters even if it may not be part of their canon.

one of the things I'm struggling with is how I handle Mars because like, realistically, Kaidan and Regis would have blasted EVA to oblivion with their biotics (and Wren :)) but at the same time, angst is really good, bridal carries are really good, and very furious, violent, and angry regis is very good so...

something to think about at the very least.

of course, the crew that was around for ME2 know about Regis and Zaeed, and to some degree about the triad (like Joker, EDI, and Chakwas), but still most of the crew are so shocked when Regis brings Zaeed on the ship immediately post-mars (who was on the citadel gathering information and jumped at the chance to be on board after visiting Kaidan) and is holding hands with this old merc like??? who is this guy? we all saw and heard about his reunion with Alenko and his reaction to Alenko getting hurt so what is going on? gossip goes crazy with theories.

all Regis does is introduce Zaeed to the crew and never elaborates. because he's a bit of a troll and also not in the mood to get into the details about their triad with a new crew while kaidan is still injured. for once he lets scuttlebutt take over. zaeed's cool with it because like regis, he's not familiar with the new crew.

Ashley also joins the crew post-mars as she was also on the citadel, newly an N7 and about to coordinate efforts to evacuate the remaining soldiers on Rio. Regis's family OCs (his uncle Adrian who is a pilot and engineer and his uncle Vikram, an asari matriach who is partners with Adrian) also join whilst on the Citadel (yeah, I know real convenient but it's just more fun that way).

Steve finds out pretty quickly and same with Vega and they join in on the bet as Zaeed and Regis aren't subtle about battlefield flirting and post-mission rituals, so it's mostly the general ship crew that is trying to figure out what's going on with their commander and is the normandy always this weird (yes, it is).

she gets bombarded with questions about regis and zaeed. she's in on the bit and shrugs. some of the braver crew ask Vik and Adrian, who also feign ignorance. no one's really willing to ask Wren "totally not the Shadow Broker" Clarkson.

Ash is also betting with EDI, Vik, Wren, Joker, Chakwas, and Adrian about when Regis and Zaeed will say fuck it and make out publicly or something.

finally, after menae and Kaidan is awake, a stray crewmember catches the three of them holding hands with Kaidan and hovering over them and is like, oh shit--and then Zaeed kisses Kaidan's forehead and Regis kisses his hand and it's a whole thing.

finally once Kaidan is back on board post-coup and is wondering why some of the crewmembers are giving him weird looks--is it the whole thing with EDI's body? is it the coup stuff where some people thought that he and Regis weren't in contact and working together?

no one believes that poor crewmember.

it all comes to a head while lounging in the observation area and having drinks together not long after he's back onboard, Regis and Zaeed sitting apart from each other and conversing with the crew. Kaidan sits between them, puts his arms around them both, kisses both of their cheeks, and takes a pull from his beer like nothing's wrong.

and Regis and Zaeed realize that they never let Kaidan in on the bit. they let everyone else in, even Wrex and Mordin, but not Kaidan.

Ashley wins the bet since she figured that they would be idiots and just forget to tell Kaidan about it.

and the crew goes crazy with the revelation. only a few correctly guessed what was going on and hope that shepard never finds out about the scuttlebutt. he knows and doesn't care and found the whole thing hilarious, actually. anything to help lighten up the ship, honestly, even if he's still mostly portraying the ruthless butcher for the majority of ME3.

[yourlocalartsonist]

Hi ho! I was just reading your fic and omg its so cool! I was wondering what parts of you were put in salena? Like i know you said they have certain parts of them that were inspired by you.

I love it when a character has little bits and pieces of the author! I feel like it helps them seem more realistic or well rounded because you can talk about stuff you know!

Also what kinda impact/moral do you think youd like for your story to have on ppl?

If any of this has been answered you can ignore it!

Also im so excited to see whats next for Salena! She's super cool!

HIIII I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic ;w;

So the short answer to your first question of what parts of me were put into Salena: all of them—

That’s not even an exaggeration, Salena is the first ever proper self insert I’ve made for a story! In the past, any self insert OCs I made would end up being VASTLY different characters by the time I wrote the story since I valued making them work for the narrative more than I valued making them feel like me. But with Salena, it genuinely worked. The personality, morals, reactions, bla bla bla that I would have genuinely work in the story of rise and make for really interesting dynamics with the main cast. It’s honestly hella cool to basically be writing myself and so I took it a step further and put a lot of my actual life experiences into MFIP in order to explore them more. A lot of the scenarios are things I’ve experienced, just more exaggerated for the sake of the story but ngl it feels like an AU for my own life in the best way possible.

This also kind of relates to the second question. I use MFIP as a way to critique a lot about our society and the norms and traditions and all that bullshit we’re taught. Often times, the media and Hollywood and whatever the fuck play the same narrative over and over again even if that narrative is toxic. I mean, how many romcoms have you seen that basically romanticize cheating but make it all cutesy cuz “oh they were just meant to be so it’s okay X main character cheated on their partner to end up with Y main character!”? But also I can’t just write a long ass book saying “this this and this is wrong with society” cuz that would be hella draining to read. So instead, I tried a more fun delivery.

In MFIP, it’s written to make you feel like you’re inside Salena’s mind, witnessing all their reactions and emotions and seeing the world through her lens for better or worse. And I think that will hopefully allow people to understand someone like Salena way better. Understand why Zane’s behavior isn’t okay for example, critiquing the whole “bad boy who’s obsessed with you” stereotype by showing how Salena feels in that situation. I could honestly go on and on with examples but yk I don’t wanna spoil the whole fun~

In a nutshell, I want people who have never experienced a life like Salena’s to understand and empathize with them. I want them to grow their worldview. And for people who relate to Salena, I want them to know they’re not alone. That they’re heard and they’re accepted and they deserve love just as much as Salena does.

I don’t really know how to end this tbh cuz this ramble can be a whole 15 page essay in Times New Roman 12 size font with a fucking Abstract and annotated bibliography. So I will just leave ya with this:

I went through the majority of my life feeling and alone and isolated because no one took the time to ever understand me on a more personal level that’s removed from their own biases. So I made Salena and this story to try and fix that issue and hopefully prevent it from repeating with someone else.

[norsecoyote]

Miraculous is an exceptionally good kids' show

I started watching Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir because of a CJ the X video.

(Or, rather: because we needed to kill some time in an AirBnB in San Diego (this was the same trip but not the same day that our car got stolen), our then-4-year-old wanted to watch something, all we had access to was Netflix, and the thumbnail for Miraculous popped up and I at that point remembered the CJ the X video.)

It took us over two years to catch up, because after that trip it became something we watched together as a family, which we only made time to do every so often. But last night, with our kid now just over a week away from her 7th birthday, we finished Season 5 and the conclusion of the primary plot arc which had been driving the show since the first episode.

And... as weird as it would have sounded to hear myself say this two years ago, I'm genuinely impressed by this show, and I want to try to talk about why.

Uh, spoilers, I guess? Though I cannot imagine there are that many people reading this who would also have an interest in watching the entirety of Miraculous totally blind.

One of the things CJ discusses in that video, that was honestly the major selling point to me as "something to watch with your kid," is the show's surprising and often-subtextual emotional sophistication. Like, the entire conceit of the major antagonist is that he preys on people with strong negative emotions and turns them into supervillains, and while some of the scenarios are certainly silly, they're also all grounded. The way the show portrays the interpersonal dynamics of the core cast is certainly simplified, because this is a show for kids, but it's all realistic enough that it let us actually have meaningful conversations with our daughter about how to treat people.

For example: Chloe Bourgeois is an utterly absurd caricature, the spoiled vindictive brat to end all brats, and frankly it shows herculean restraint on the part of the writing team that they waited until the final episode of S5 to make the obvious joke, but: the broadness of her cattiness, selfishness and cruelty made it legible to our kid even from the beginning. We had a lot of conversations with her about why Chloe acted the way she did, and Chloe's motivations (if that's the right word) made sense to her. I would not be at all surprised if growing up alongside Chloe for two years -- or rather, alongside Chloe's brief flirtation with but ultimate rejection of actually growing up -- has a long-lasting influence on the sophistication of our daughter's moral compass beyond its 4yo starting point of "mean" vs "nice."

(Also, so carefully developing Chloe as this truly awful but fundamentally "relatable" character was crucial to the successful introduction in the later seasons of the genuine sociopath Lila. Seeing the contrast in our kid's reactions to the two different flavors of villainy was fascinating -- she haaaaaaated Lila.)

The overall commitment to emotional sophistication also paid off tremendously in the arc of Gabriel/Hawk Moth/Shadow Moth/Monarch, both in the sense that our kid understood him and why he was doing everything, but also in how his final heel > face > heel > face turn, a rapid-fire sequence of Shocking Twists that could very easily have come across as contrived, cheesy or worse, instead felt fully "earned" and deeply satisfying. Miraculous may use bright colors and broad strokes to paint the relationships between its characters, but the final result feels like a painting, not a cartoon.

The other aspect of the show that impressed us, really throughout its run, was the way it handled shifts in the status quo. Like, the entire first 3/4 of the first season presents itself as purely episodic: someone gets their feelings hurt, they get "akumatized," the heroes save the day, Hawk Moth curses Ladybug as the iris closes over his window. (Notably, as CJ the X points out, they make zero attempt to explain the nature of any of this magic or the vocabulary used for it -- it's presented as a world where everybody is already used to it all, and every episode is Just Another Day.) And honestly most of the episodes of the first four seasons have that same fundamental pattern -- it's not until like halfway through the fifth season that they start regularly shaking up the formula.

But, every once in a while, and not just in season finales, the show introduces some new bit of lore, or gives the heroes or villains access to some game-changing new power, and then just... keeps moving. It neither ignores the new stuff nor falls victim to classic DBZ-esque power creep, instead just fully incorporating the changes into the landscape and exploring how they affect the dynamics of the conflict moving forward. Ladybug spends a lot of time straining against the limitations of her power set, but every so often she actually solves one of those problems, and afterwards that problem is just... solved. And like the bad guy quickly adapts to her new capabilities, of course, but not (just) by throwing More Power at her but by changing his tactics.

In fact, one of the few times the show did feel like it was just doing Competitive Power Level Charging ended up not only not being that but setting up for a very clever payoff. At some point, Ladybug gains the ability to, after she saves someone, create a magical charm to protect them from being akumatized again, and then that process gets incorporated into the standard post-battle victory sequence. And then, not long afterwards, Shadow Moth gets the ability (somehow?) to make "megakumas" that can just... break through those charms. But she keeps giving them out for some reason, and eventually discovers that a LOT of charms all working together can protect even against a megakuma, and at this point it's just like okay, I'm seriously losing interest in the arms race subplot.

...until it is revealed that Ladybug's habit of giving out charms to fucking everybody, all the time, even to people who already had one that totally failed to do anything at all before immediately breaking, is actually a critical mistake, because oops one of the infinite people she tossed one to like confetti was secretly Shadow Moth himself and in the finale he figures out how to use it to track her energy signal anywhere on Earth. And this instantly redeemed the whole plot element, because not only was it not in fact the writers being lazy and uncreative, they deliberately stuck it into the one sequence of the show that gets repeated more or less verbatim every single episode -- which, it was clear by episode 2, is deliberately reflective of the repeated animation sequences in classic shoujo anime -- to misdirect the audience about whose laziness it was.

The show is also unafraid to genuinely shift the status quo of its second primary conflict: the love rectangle between the two leads. For anybody still reading this who hasn't seen the show (which: why?), the gimmick from the very beginning is that, in their civilian identities, Marinette (aka Ladybug) is in love with Adrian (aka Chat Noir), and in costume, Chat Noir is in love with Ladybug -- and they are both explicitly forbidden from ever revealing their secret identities to each other. This state of affairs continues unchanged for some time, even as their classmates repeatedly try to set the two of them up -- until, all of a sudden, it changes. The character growth is slow and subtle, but it's there, and by the third or fourth season they actually start making new moves in the endless dance, before the whole first half of the fifth season is basically dedicated to exploring "what if?" scenarios and systematically demonstrating that there is no shortcut to them being properly Together without them both Growing Up and also Defeating Monarch.

And like, I am very aware that none of this is groundbreakingly original television or storytelling -- it's just surprising and refreshing to see in the context of a show that starts out looking like, basiclly, a slightly better-animated PJMasks.

This is, unlike the CJ the X video, not actually a recommendation for any adult to go binge Miraculous, but it is a recommendation for any parent to consider watching it with their kid. The combination of surface-level simplicity and deep, thoughtful character writing and plotting makes it simultaneously accessible to quite young audiences and complex enough to "grow with them," and ultimately leave even an adult viewer feeling satisfied with the time spent.

(plus, of course, it makes for some adorable moments:)

[sevilemar]

I've been reading your older shc posts and journaling. I've found this scenario in my dreaming space, me and another person both firefighters, come in a burning place and there's civilians but then my coworker also gets in the same dangerous situation as the civilian. I ended up having a decided answer bcs felt wasn't working. Then it evolved into someone I liked vs someone I didn't, and my felt answer was it's wrong to prioritise someone just because I liked them, either I should work on the first one to not waste time or assess who needs me more. It's wrong to leave someone and let them know you don't like them and won't help bcs of that. And then the situation turned into someone who's mine aka family vs anyone from the situation before. I found out that in both 2nd and 3rd situations a moral judgment on a person would sway more than weather I liked them or not, I'd have an easier time leaving for last someone who I knew was a doctor taking bribes, than a coworker who's awful to me but I know they're tired and unhappy. But no matter what I couldn't even let myself think of leaving my sibling for last. I know we bicker, I know I hate the state they leave the house in, but I be damned if I'll let them watch me safe somebody else in the fire and not them, and honestly I probably expect the same. Too extreme for sorting? Also, started the ravening war and it's funny and amazing and this has got to be the best team ever. That's the dnd I want to be a part of haha. Are you getting a pin?

Ravening War is amazing, I love it to bits so far. Glad you're getting into it, nonny!

As for the scenarios you mention, I think it's a bit extreme for sorting, yes. The situation is too unusual, and there are too many variables like danger assessment, panic reactions, etc. to be a good sorting tool. I remember the posts you're referring to, and I also remember thinking that it's too extreme for sorting while writing it, but I think it was part of a wider discussion with a nonny at the time?

Just getting into your scenarios and trying to imagine them in as realistic a way as I can makes me question if I would be thinking about morality at all in these situations. I am not a trained responder, I haven't had any training or experience with my own panic response, so realistically, I'll probably be too out of it, and am lucky to save myself if anything.

I am trying to think of a less extreme version of what's at the heart of this, which is snake "I prioritise my people" vs. badger "I prioritise those who need it most", and also trying to find if there's a way to get our big-picture people in there. I am drawing a blank, tbh. If I find something, I'll get back to you, nonny, and if you do, let me know if you like?

[mar64ds]

The way that Papyrus interacts with Sans is so interesting to me. Sans is the one who constantly talks about how much he admires and loves his brother, he's the one that we see constantly tries to make his brother happy, he talks about his brother ALL the time to the point where toriel makes a (cute) joke about it. Being a very loving and supportive big brother is one of Sans's biggest character traits, it's very obvious to see

But what about Papyrus? Does he do the same thing?

...Not really? Most of the time, Papyrus complains about Sans, he calls him lazy even if he's not actually lazy, he gets annoyed at him a lot, and he SEEMINGLY at first glance doesn't seem to be trying to help him with anything he seems to be more focused on his own problems

There is also the fact that Papyrus is someone that is SO understanding and patient with absolutely everyone, but with his brother he actually loses his patience

And let's not forget the fact that we are able to see Sans's reaction to losing Papyrus, but a scenario where Papyrus loses Sans does not exist

All of this can make it seem like Sans cares way more about Papyrus than Papyrus cares about Sans, or that Papyrus takes Sans for granted or that he doesn't appreciate him or look out for him as much. I have seen a lot of people that point out that they wished we could have seen Papyrus showing concern about Sans a bit more openly! That in canon Papyrus doesn't really have many scenes that shows how much he cares about Sans, unlike the amount of scenes where Sans talks about how cool his little brother is

The thing is... Papyrus does absolutely care about Sans a lot, just as much as Sans does, he shows it in different ways and WE as the player just don't get to see much of this, but it's there

-Papyrus being annoyed at Sans and complaining about him is a very little brother thing to do, it's not like he actually dislikes him, may I remind you they spend most of their day together, they like being around each other! Not only at work (which, Papyrus seems to visit Sans's sentry a lot) but Papyrus seems to go to Grillby's frequently, even if he hates it, just to hang out with Sans. They also live together! They spend so much time together, why would Papyrus do that if he didn't like hanging out with his brother lol

-Papyrus calling Sans 'lazy', among other complains about him, is his way of motivating him to do things. And the thing is, it actually works! Sans likes being called lazy ('even if nothing could be further from the truth') and Papyrus is the one that motivated him to be a sentry, he seems to motivate him for A LOT of things. If Sans seemed upset Papyrus would stop immediately, he only continues on because it actually helps Sans and there is a lot of trust between them. I don't think you can call a friend 'lazy' as frequently, but to your brother? Of course he would lol

-Papyrus is constantly looking out for Sans. 'Sometimes I wonder what he would do... without such a cool guy taking care of him?' Papyrus says, with a smile. Also look at the winter dialogue

-Papyrus wants to be friends with people so bad that sometimes he has to pretend a lot, but he doesn't pretend as much with Sans. You know, apart from pretending to be totally okay and happy, he doesn't have to pretend to be incredibly cool or be absolutely understanding all the time, he allows himself to be annoyed, which he wouldn't do with anyone else

-We don't see much of Papyrus talking about how much he cares about Sans, it's a lot of subtext, it's all understanding this is his way of caring, it's seeing behind that annoyance he is actually smiling. This is SO interesting to me, Papyrus is always so open about loving his friends, but even if it's completely obvious he loves and cares for his brother, he's way less open about it, or at least, he doesn't say it OUT LOUD as often

-Papyrus is the younger brother. The way he acts is realistic

This is all great!.....

......... Does anyone else wonders if we're going to see Papyrus's perspective about how much he cares about Sans way more clearly in Deltarune and that's why we don't see this as much in Undertale?

[mediocreauthor]

nana komatsu: how we surpass trauma to survive

tw: rape, sexual assault 

I recently wrote the way Hachi didn’t acknowledge or deal with her rape was one of the most realistic portrayals I have ever seen, whether that was Yazawa’s intention or not. 

Now you can say how Yazawa portrayed certain issues was wrong and potentially harmful for many young girls who read NANA and saw incredibly damaging behaviors brushed over or not even portrayed as bad. And you would be correct but this post isn’t about NANA’s affect, but rather story itself. 

The morning after Hachi’s pregnancy was revealed, which I consider as a turning point of the story, Takumi raped Hachi. I really don’t want to sugar coat or be poetic about this, he raped her. Now, I have been seeing some posts excusing Takumi’s actions therefore I will explain why this is considered as rape. 

In chapter 29, we don’t see Hachi explicitly saying no or fighting back, but hesitant and reluctant because Nana is right next door. Takumi first tries to convince her and when Hachi remains hesitant, what does he tell her?  “You should worry about making me angry.” I am paraphrasing but the message was this. Hearing this, Hachi gives up and people might think she ‘lets’ Takumi do whatever she wants therefore it’s okay somehow, it’s not. 

I read this somewhere and I want all of everyone to read it as well: A ‘yes’ only has value when someone is comfortable enough to say ‘no’. Hachi’s unwilling ‘yes’ means nothing because she was just very openly threatened by Takumi. Hachi, alienated from her friends, knowing Nana sees her as a traitor, Nobu as a cheater, Hachi who had no support for her baby, was given a clear ultimatum by Takumi, the only person she had by her side: if you don’t give me what I want, I will hurt you. You will be left alone. So she does. And then she doesn’t even acknowledge it as rape. She is angry and distraught after but it’s for the strawberry glasses and she just looks slightly annoyed with Takumi. That’s all. Where is that dramatic aftermath we usually see in media, where woman cries, breaks everything within reach then stares blankly at the ceiling?

Because most rape aftermaths don’t look like that. I am BY NO MEANS saying women whose experiences was as I wrote above as invalid. Most rape cases aren’t reported, we know that. But there is also a heartbreaking amount of women who can’t even decide if they have been raped or not. Women, who are  haunted by a certain memory but always pushing it to back of their minds.  I believe Hachi is one of them.  There is a high possibility Hachi was unable to register it as rape but we -readers can observe the effects of it through her behaviour. Hachi is terrified of Takumi. Fans give her so much shit for not contacting Nobu, even Hachi called it out of selfishness and no action is done with one mere emotion, but she also avoided it out of fear of angering Takumi. 

Hachi’s fear of him is displayed plain as day during Shin and Reira’s birthday party. Hachi knew she has angered Takumi by staying at the party, she even considers divorcing him and her inner monologue was pretty brave and promising. So what changed when Takumi knocked on Nana’s door? I would like to break down what for me, is one of the most disturbing scenes in NANA.

This scene right here, is a cry for help for someone who can recognize certain patterns in abusive relationships.

Hachi was in a good mood right before this scene, Nana even pointed out she was too cheerful for someone in the brink of a break up. However, at presence of Takumi, she immediately caves and apologizes for doing things without his knowledge while at the same time, still offering a way out. This way out isn’t for Takumi, it’s for her. I am %100 sure if Takumi said ‘okay go live your own then’, even though sad, Hachi’s predominant emotion would be relief.

She is terrified of Takumi. Hachi is unable to escape this unless he gives her an out. She regretted her ‘choice’ of being with Takumi the morning after but she had no one or nowhere to go. Now, you might think ‘she could’ve gone back to her parents!’ or ‘she could’ve lived on her own’ and I want to counter with: abused people’s mind don’t function like that. Even though you are somewhat aware that you are being treated badly, taken advantage of, it’s pushed way back in your mind. Your world consists of only you and your abuser, you can’t think of options simply because you don’t see any. 

And your abuser makes you believe what they are doing isn’t a big deal. They treat you with kindness right after abusing you while not acknowledging their behavior to leave you disoriented and unsure about the weight of what you have experienced. What Takumi did to Hachi was exactly that. So what did she do? She surpassed it and moved on.

‘I didn’t allow it for the sake of our future, but because I wanted to escape the terror and anxiety of that moment’ Read this sentence over and over again and process it. If I read one more take about how ‘what Takumi did wasn’t that bad compared to other NANA characters’ I am going to fucking slap them with this panel. Hachi learned that disobeying Takumi is pointless. She allows it even when considering separation, why? She is paralyzed by fear.  Because she tried to object Takumi once and learned her lesson. Obedience is so much easier than what you might face with your abuser. You bend and cave, do everything in your power to avoid their wrath. It’s safer.  Admitting that you haven’t received the best treatment from someone who is supposed to cherish you is an act strength by itself. I do not blame any victims of abuse who don’t want to admit or process their trauma. It’s hard, it’s terrifying and frustrating. Being able to process your trauma is a luxury most women don’t have. Hachi doesn’t have it with a belly up her nose at the age of 21. She is in a vulnerable position and don’t think even for a second Takumi isn’t aware of it. 

Next day, Hachi greets Takumi by the door as usual. Their home life becomes pretty stable since she takes all his micro aggressions,  his snarky comments and belittlement with slight annoyance, still with humor. Because the other scenario is losing herself. She surpasses her trauma to maintain her sanity. 

Why do I love this? 

Because a lot of women do exactly this. A lot of housewives who stick with their husbands despite years of abuse, young girls with their boyfriends do this. Because I read NANA at the age of 14 and didn’t even understand what Hachi went through but rereading it at 23, with what I have seen made me sob. Whether Ai Yazawa’s approach was irresponsible or genius I don’t know. But I took something valuable from it and if any minors or young adults especially are following me, I want them to recognize these patterns and behaviors too. 

And what should never be done is to take this tragic coping mechanism and turn it into an excuse to diminish your favorite rat boy’s behavior. You can keep saying what Takumi did wasn’t bad based on Hachi’s reaction, be aware it’s a survival instinct, not nonchalance.   To sum it up: Hachi is a survivor and what she lived through was just as sad and tragic as other characters, and  I am fucking sick of people invalidating it because she coped with a smile.

[repo-net]

Honestly Q-Taro was a very realistic character. In these kinds of death games or life or death scenarios you have to look out for yourself the most if you want to live. Sacrificing yourself for someone you just met is not as easy as people think.

YOU GET IT. YOU GET IT.

BRO IM TELLING YOU A GOOD FUCKING NUMBER OF THE PEOPLE THAT SAY Q-TARO WAS A BAD PERSON DIDN'T PLAY THE SAME GAME AS ME

He's real. He feels authentic to me. He's not positive enough that he believes everything will go right and they can take on anything. But he's also not a downer of a character that just makes you wanna drag and skip the game because of everything they say and act.

Spoilers ahead for the game, yeah? Don't read ahead if you haven't seen it through.

Q-Taro earned my respect the fucking moment he stepped in and questioned Keiji, a grown ass policeman and adult why he was okay with letting some random high schooler like Sara wield a gun instead of literally any of the responsible adults there.

It was reinforced even more when Q-Taro suggested in the first main game that the supposed ones with the weakest resolve and the ones who don't want to prove themselves to be of worth to the group should be voted out instead of anyone else, to which he rightfully suggests Gin, Kanna, and Nao. He wasn't wrong there. He made a fair suggestion.

HECK, HE EVEN BACKS IT UP BY OUTRIGHT SAYING TO REKO THAT IF SHE THINKS HE'S USELESS, THEN SHE SHOULD VOTE FOR HIM AND SHOW HER OWN RESOLVE. THAT'S WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. AND HE GETS VISIBLY UPSET WHEN KANNA IS OKAY WITH BEING VOTED BY EVERYONE ELSE. BECAUSE HE WANTS KANNA TO STEP UP FOR HERSELF. HE'S JUST TRYING TO GET THEM FIRED UP AND ENCOURAGE THEM.

And don't even get me started on 2-1. I get why people would be mad about him sacrificing everyone else in the bad ending where he puts in 200 me-tokens into the vending machine. I get that. I also understand why Q-Taro would do it, it clearly left a heavy feeling in his chest and he regretted it. That wasn't the right thing to do. But I don't blame him for it.

AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T BLAME HIM EITHER FOR NOT WANTING TO GET SHOT BY POISON IN THE FINAL ATTRACTION? HE'S SCARED OF DYING. THAT'S A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON TO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON.

AND HE STILL DOES SO ANYWAYS WHEN GIN'S ABOUT TO TAKE A THIRD SHOT FROM THE MACHINE. HE CLEARLY FEELS BAD ABOUT LETTING GIN TAKE THAT MANY SHOTS. ANYONE WOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT LETTING A POOR KID LIKE GIN TAKE DEADLY POISON LIKE THAT. IT'S A NORMAL REACTION.

AND IT'S STILL A NORMAL REACTION TO BE SCARED OF SACRIFICING YOURSELF TO SAVE ANOTHER PERSON. THAT'S NORMAL. THAT'S REAL.

God I love Q-Taro so fucking much. This fandom did him dirty and misunderstood him harder than any other character in this damn game. Q-Taro deserves a fucking apology from the people that slandered his glorious name and I will not let any of this hate stand.

Not all of them are like this, but so many of the people that hate him for what he did would never admit it, but you know damn well in their heart that if they were put in the situation that baseballer was in, you would've done a bunch of the same shit he did in that game.

I'd talk about Chapter 3 Q-Taro in here, but I feel like that was when this fanbase actually finally started to realize how good he actually is as a character, so forget it, you all know how awesome he really is now if you've played up until then.

i mean, of course i will, if you still dislike q-taro in spite of all this (and chapter 3 q-taro as a whole, really.), then that's fine, it's your opinion and these are all just characters at the end.

but one thing is for certain. i am a q-taro burgerberg defender for as long as im alive. q-taro burgerberg owns my heart and soul.

MUSCLE. GORILLA. SOLOS.

[linkspooky]

...And they were brothers.

From the start, Endeavor has pitted his own children against each other. Now we’re seeing the complex dynamics of an abusive household, Todoroki Shoto Endeavor’s  golden child and Todoroki Toya Endeavor’s scapegoat, play out on a battlefield. At first glance, Shoto looks like the good brother fighting on the side of the heroes, and Toya the bad brother who cares more for plotting villainous revenge than anything else. However, it’s more complicated than that: a look at abusive dynamics and the character foiling between Shoto and Toya underneath the cut. 

Before I begin, a brief explanation of the golden child and scapegoat dynamic. 

Abuse isn’t just a thing that happens. It’s a power dynamic. The Todoroki Household is considered an abusive household, because all the power is held by one man, Todoroki Enji. An abusive power dynamic can be explained simply as a person who uses the power they have others to their own advantage.

An abusive teacher is someone who steps out of line and acts inappropriately with a student, who they are responsible for because they have power over them. An abusive parent will use their authority as a parent to act in a way that’s not in a child’s best interests. 

Abuse is also a cycle. It perpetuates itself. The reason abuse is cyclical is that, in an abusive dnyamic, fights or disturbances can’t resolve in a healthy way so usually things will go back to status quo and power will be held by the abuser again at the end of the disruption. 

I’m simplifying here to try to make this as understandable as possible, but abuse is a power dynamic. It comes down to a question of: Who holds power in the household? 

In the Todoroki Household, it’s Todoroki Enji who holds all the power. 

In a narcicisst’s household, everyone exists to serve the narcissit. This is quite literal in the Todoroki Household. Enji only had children so they could take on his dream of being number one hero and he could live vicariously though them. 

Let’s strip away all the fantasy paint in this scenario and define it in more realistic terms. Enji thinks he is entitled to something: the title of number one hero. Enji is unable to handle the feelings of being denied the thing he wants, so instead he sets up a family. 

Enji’s family exists for his emotional benefit. He expects his family to “give him something.” He only had a family in the first place, because he thought he was denied what he was owed. Enji had a family for selfish reasons, and thought they existed to fulfill his ambitions, his intention from the start was to use them. So, it’s no wonder more traditional forms of abuse (wife beating, child abuse) rose out of these circumstances. The Todoroki Household is built by Enji, and at the center is Enji a narcissist. 

(I do more nuanced takes on Enji’s character in other meta, but this isn’t the time or the place to talk about it here). 

The household is centered around Enji, he’s the most powerful person in the house, and he expects the household to give him what he wants. When he’s denied what he wants, he’ll rely on abusive tactics to get it.

There are many types of abuse. Tactics used by abusers include: private criticism leading to doubt and hurt; public criticism leading to shame or humiliation; threats of emotional or physical withdrawal leading to abandonment; withdrawal of money or sexual contact that leads to a devaluation of financial power or decrease in sexual self-esteem; verbal threats that can begin a process of fear; verbal and physical tirades or tantrums (i.e., power displays) that can leave the victim feeling helpless; and finally, physical aggression that can lead to fears of physical death.

In the process of a relationship where a man uses these "tactics" on a woman, any or all can be used in any order, at any time. Usually in the beginning of the relationship, criticism and withdrawal are the two most used tactics that lead the man to have an increased sense of power and control, and the woman to have a decreased sense of power and control. [Source] 

Endeavor is denied what he wants. Endeavor gets impatient.He denies that Shoto is even properly in pain, and claims he is just faking it. Endeavor uses physical aggression as an intimidation to get Rei back in line. We also know this happened, Rei fought Endeavor hard for Shoto’s sake at first, but over time became more fragile and more mentally unstable. 

My point is not to detail Endeavor’s abuse because we already know it happened, but to show the underlying motive behind the abuse, abuse is a pwoer dynamic, Endeavor was acting to maintain total authority and control in the household. For the narcicisst everything in the household exists to fulfill the narcicisst’s needs. 

The children as Enji sees them all exist to fulfill his ambitions, so he can live vicariously through them, therefore he doesn’t see their pain. He doesn’t see outside his own ego, because tending to Enji’s needs comes first. He scapegoats one child, ignores the other two, and then the child he does pour his love into he cannot see how much his love and attention is actively harming this child. When Shoto doesn’t want to accept Enji’s attention, he sees Shoto as ungrateful and rebellious. How dare you Shoto, I’m putting all this time and effort into raising you, I’m giving you all of these advantages in life and you don’t repay me????

My point in going into this much detail is that no matter what happens, or how the victims turn on each other in the household, the architect of the abuse, the one who created this situation is Enji. If the victims blame each other, then it benefits Enji because his position at the center will remain unchallenged. 

Which is why... 

“It’s not better or worse to be the golden child. Both face the psychological whiplash of being raised by a narcissist. The GC becomes the conformer to the extreme, with the intense pressure to measure up, and when they don’t they receive cruelty. The SG becomes the rebel who receives almost constant cruelty and shaming. 

The scapegoat and golden child are created because the abuser has a set of impossible to fulfill and aribtrary standards. One of thsee children meets those standards and one of those children does not. 

Why divide people up like this, though? 

As I said, it’s a power dyanmic. We have already seen this play out in canon once before in the richly detailed telling of the Shimura Household. A household where abuse is taking place will be an unstable environment, because it exists at the whim of an abuser. If there are more than just abuser and victim in the house, people will inevitably notice the fractured mood. This is exactly what happened in the Shimura household, there was a problem that everyone saw but nobody talked about.

The Shimura household was constantly being disrupted by Kotaro’s abuse on Tenko, however, an abusive dynamic maintains itself by denying the abuse. Rather than confront Kotaro who holds all the power in the household, the weaker Tenko is blamed. This is Tenko’s issue that clings with him all the way until adulthood, instead of just calling his father out for his improper behavior, his family all sided with his father and told Tenko to stop picking fights. 

The process will continue as long as the man denies the impact of these tactics on the woman and the woman also denies being victimized. He will deny the impact because of acculturation and insensitivity; [Source.]

Instead of challenging the abuser, the victim is told that it is his fault, he needs to stop provoking the abuser, he needs to stop crying, he needs to stop being so sensitive, the feelings of the abuser are catered to over that of their victim and the dynamic is miantained. By finding a scapegoat to blame for the unrest in the household that is happening because of the abuse, nobody ever challenges the abuse directly. 

In other words divide and conquer. If the abuser pits victims against each other, it’s practically guaranteed that nobody will challenge him or confront him on his behavior and he’ll continue uninterrupted. So, in the Todoroki Household where there is a golden child and a scapegoat it continues like this: 

So in the family, the Scapegoat and the Golden Child become these roles assigned by the narcissist in order to play the game of Extract Narcissistic Supply through Triangulation.

Triangulation is like driving a wedge between people. Basically, the game involves two or more people who get pitted against each other and usually they don’t even realize what’s happening. They’re just aware of the conflict between each other and there’s always this conflict. [...]  The narcissist wants the loyalty of everybody and the narcissist wants everybody fighting amongst themselves. [Source.]

This is why every Dabi fan in the series is saying that Shoto, and Toya were set up to fight against each other, because they were. Enji keeps Shoto separated from his siblings, to maintain control. The scapegoat will blame Shoto for his circumstances believing if they hadn’t been born their fathers attention would be theirs, and the golden child will blame the scapegoat for their rebellion, and their own actions done in reaction to the father’s abuse. HOWEVER. In fighting each other. blaming each other, it is Enji who will escape ultimate blame. 

Which is why ultimately scapegoat and golden child don’t really matter, they are  both victims of the same abuser. Shoto and Toya are the same in the way they were abused and their reactions to abuse, it’s only circumstances that differ with them. 

1. Shoto and Dabi Is the Same

Edit by @miriio​

Shoto and Toya are the same, not just because they’re both brothers with the same fire quirk, but because they’ve both been moulded by Enji their entire lives, and their personalities, values, are all in reaction to that. Abuse scars everyone it touches. Arguing about whose scars are worse are besides the point, rather Shoto and Toya mirror each other because they both cope with the stress of abuse in similiar ways, despite their entirely different positions in the household. 

In chapter 204 when faced with a foe who won’t give up, Shoto Todoroki flashes back to his father, and begsin to use his fire qiurk. 

We are shown earlier in this chapter Enji’s attempts to once again assert control over him. Enji texts Shoto multiple times having gone behind his back to get his number. Enji insists that he be the one to teach Shoto prominence burn. (Enji also uses the tactic of understating the past abuse saying he was “misguided” in the past). Shoto while fighting against Tetsu^4 is also fighting against the memory of his father, and uses his flames to his absolute limit in order to prove that they are his flames. He even goes so far to warn Tetsu that he’s not holding back and could cause severe burn damage to his body. 

This also mirrors an earlier behavior when Enji pushed Todoroki before his fight with Sero, he overdid his ice quirk to the point of freezing the entire stadium. There’s an idea with Shoto that just because he is starting on the path to healing, and learning to cope healthily, that he never lashes out, or responds to his his father’s violence with violence. That is simply not true. 

Shoto’s character arc is not complete. He is still dealing with this. As far back as the fight against Class B, he was getting what look to be trauma flashbacks in the middle of the fight, and could have even possibly been triggered by Tetsu’s relentless beating down on him. 

Shoto and Toya maintain a similiar pattern of behavior, in that they intentionally are docile, and hold back their strength in a fight. Shoto used to never use his flames at all. He also usually uses them far less effectively than his ice quirk. 

Toya also, uses his flames sparingly in a fight (albeit for different reasons, his flames will burn him as he has no way of cooling himself like Shoto). However, when pushed in the situation, especially emotionally he will go all out. He’ll use the fire with far less regard for who he burns or even for burning himself. 

Toya doesn’t use his flames at all, until he does and then he has no sense of moderation. 

Besides the way they use their flames, and their bad relationship with their own flames, (Shoto holds them back, Toya is burned by them.) They also both tend to overuse their quirk when they get emotionally riled or are lashing out. Their fire is a metaphor for their emotions, but more on that later.

Shoto and Toya exhibit several behaviors, the similarities are especially strong between Shoto and Earlyroki. First and foremost, they both insist on doing everything alone. 

They’re both (Dabi, Earlyroki) highly individualist people who purposefully distance themselves from others, and deny any closeness to others because  they need to feel strong on their own. 

Shoto and Toya are people who have lived their entire lives fighting their controlling father over agency over their own lives in different ways. Toya fights Endeavor’s rejection of him, and Shoto fights Endeavor’s smothering and insistence that he take his legacy. The reason they cut out everybody else from their lives is because (1: their father dominating and controlling them they never learned to make connections with others, 2: they live their entire lives focusing on battling against their father). 

However, the methods they use to fight their father are what their father taught them, because ultimately it’s all they know. Children who are raised in an abusive household grow up improperly. They don’t know healthy means of dealing with their emotions because they are never taught these. Developmentally, they are stunted and this can even have effects late into an adulthood so it doesn’t actually matter that Dabi is in his twenties (especially since he died in his teens). 

Shoto, and Dabi are to an extent what their father made them to be. They are staunch individualists, who rely on the strength of their quirk to get what they want, like being the strongest truly is the only thing that matters. This behavior is shown in the both of them, but especially with Earlyroki. There are parallels. The way they both deal with small fry villains. 

The scene where they both take out minor villains by entirely dominating them with their quirk is a parallel set up between the two of them.

They also both have a tendency towards dissociation to try to deal with past trauma: IE, trying to move themselves away from their feelings and insist their not feeling anything in order to avoid their feelings.

At their worst, Shoto and Toya show off several of the same behaviors. These are all symptoms of abuse. Their shared inability to regulate their own fire is a metaphor for the fact that neither of them were taught how to properly regulate their own emotions. 

A healthy adult is able to handle stress, and negative emotions in healthy ways. They can put a lid on it, deal with it at a better time, think and sort through them. Shoto’s emotions always, always, always, come out during a fight even if he insists he’s letting go of the past and his father. Dabi and Shoto show behavior where they are either completely emotionally remote and unreachable “off”, or they are flipped “on” and completely unleash themselves. The point of these states of being is that Toya and Shoto are themselves unstable, because they were not fully developed emotionally, because they did not grow up in a household where their emotional well being was put first and foremost. 

They grew up in a household where they catered to Enji’s emotions first and foremost, and because of that both Shoto and Toya have trouble finding themselves in their fire. They also show several other symptoms, dissociation, social isolation, and a belief that they have to be strong and handle everything by themselves. Dabi cannot accept cooperation, and neither could Earlyroki. IN effect, Dabi is still fighting against the idea that he is weak that was beaten into him by his father, so of course relying on others is the sign of that same weakness. They both let their flames burn because they feel the need to be strong. 

2. Shoto and Dabi is different

I am making the argument that they are emotionally very similiar, and they both are who they are in reaction to what Endeavor did to them. They just take a different tack in the way they frame themselves. Dabi the villain, Shoto the hero.

Shoto mentions very early on his quirk could be used to kill people, but he won’t, because that’s not a heoric action to do.

Dabi says that he’s killing these villains for a purpose. We learn later what that purpose is, to get his body count up to thirty in order to further stain Endeavor’s name.

In other words, Shoto fights against his father as a hero, Toya fights against his father as a villain. This also reflects the golden child / scape goat dynamic. Shoto on the whole conforms, Dabi on the whole rebels. Shoto is still in the middle of hero society.

Shoto’s strategy has always been that he has to work around Endeavor to get what he wants, which leads to Shoto cooperating with Endeavor on many occasions. He interns with him because he’s the number two hero. He often has his boundaries violated by Endeavor wanting to act like father son in public and Shoto not being comfortable with that. 

Shoto’s strategy is to exist within the same framework that his father created, but learn to be his own hero. In this strategy he gives Endeavor what he wants almost as a trade for what Shoto still needs, which is practice and training to become a hero on his own terms. 

The golden child conforms, the scapegoat rebels. Shoto tries to accomplish what he wants inside of hero society, whereas Dabi pushes his agenda as a villain. Shoto lives to become a true hero, and wants to become a hero for his own reasons not because his father pushed him to, but because All Might inspired him.

Toya not only declares that there are no true heroes, but he dedicates everything to tearing down what he sees are false heroes. His strategy is one of rebellion. Toya is aware of the arbitrary and hypocritical labels of hero and villain in this society, and because of that goes out of his way to show someone how villainous the actions of a hero can be.

However. Shoto wanting to become a hero. Toya becoming a villain from necessity. 

Isn’t as black and white as it seems. Toya has what Shoto lacks, which is awareness, the ability to criticize society and the situation he was in. Enji isn’t the only one to blame for the abuse of the Todoroki household, the society that allowed it to happen is also to blame. Shoto is capable of unknowingly inflicting violence on people who are just like him victims of abuse because he lacks Toya’s outside perspective.

Shoto, that kills people.

Shoto, that also kills people.

The point being it easily could have been Dabi that Shoto stabbed to death with an icicle, or burned alive to the point where half of his body was smoking. It could have been Dabi who has the same scars as him, who was burned by the same man. It’s only chance that he was going all out against Shigaraki instead of Dabi. Shoto can’t see villains as victims of the hero system, even though he was a victim of the same system. 

Shoto hesitates when he learns that it’s Toya but what is the difference here? He was ready to use lethal force on Shigaraki a moment ago. Has anything truly changed? Dabi is still an enemy trying to destroy hero society. He still kills innocent people. He’s just now a villain that Shoto happens to know personally. 

My point is that Shoto’s conformity can set him up against victims of the same society. The same way that, Dabi’s rebellion can lead him to harm his own family.

Dabi’s rebellion is just lashing out. The scapegoat because they are the lowest position in the whole family, because they are isolated, can sometimes associate the abuser’s actions with the whole family. We saw this with little Tenko. Tenko resented both his abuse father, but also his little sister for tattling on him, his mother and grandparents for not comforting him and taking any steps to stop his father. When you are the lowest rung on the ladder, when the stress of the whole household is taken out on you, you tend to see every member of the family as the same. 

Dabi absorbs the stress of the whole household. When he inevitably retaliates because nobody can keep that stress inside of them, and Dabi has been taught no healthy means of dealing with that stress, he is pitted against both other members of his family and Endeavor himself. 

Dabi’s rebellion will hurt other people in the household, he has no regard for Shoto whatsoever, he sent Ending to Endeavor who ended up kidnapping Natsuo, he also is probably going to cause Rei’s setback.

However, at the same time Dabi’s lashing out is inevitable. Dabi was made to bear the stress of the entire household when he was blame and ousted as the scapegoat instead of his father Endeavor. Dabi is dealing with those emotions alone, lashing out on them alone, he only sees his own pain, but that is because to begin with, and all this time he has been suffering alone. 

That’s where we get to the main difference between them, Shoto now has support, and Toya doesn’t. 

Shoto even says back as early as the stain arc, which is the arc that Dabi first emerged in the aftermath of, that the problem with Earlyroki is not that he was angry, but that he was dealing with that anger all alone. He says it, that being all alone warps your vision, to the point where you can only see yourself.

Dabi is cut off from others, he might care about them but he severs those feelings away from himself. He has been isolated at least since he died, and maybe all his life, and even the connections of the league can’t bridge the gap between himself and others. Dabi is someone stuck in permanent Earlyroki phase because to him he lives his life for one purpose.

Shoto has been allowed to develop as his own person, because he let others in. The biggest difference between them can be illustrated with their fire. Dabi says his flames are Endeavors flames. Shoto is told that his flames are his own. 

However, Shoto did not reach this consclusion on his own. He was told this by someone else. Shoto could not even take the first step until someone showed him the way, so who is to say the same can’t be true for Dabi? 

Dabi has been separated from his family, homeless for ten years, and he literally died that one time. It’s likely that in all that time nobody has told him something so simple as “Your flames can be your own.” Dabi doesn’t know he can have a life outside of revenge against Endeavor because he hasn’t been shown it, he’s only ever known his father’s abuse and his fight against it. We don’t know if the league can reach him or not because he hasn’t been entirely honest with the league until right this second. 

There’s a reason that the camera is cut like this. 

Shoto’s scar, the damage inflicted on him, and Enji’s unscarred side. It makes a point. Is Dabi really the enemy in this situation? Is Dabi the ultimate villain? He plays the mastermind but he’s not. 

Both Dabi and Shoto were burned by Endavor’s flames. It was Endeavor who created the situation and pitted them against each other in the first place. Which is why hero or villain, golden child or scapegoat it honestly, should not matter. Dabi and Shoto are not each other’s enemies, they were just made to think that way by Endeavor’s actions all the way back from when they were kids. 

If Dabi is blamed for his own rebellion. If he’s villified for it. If Dabi is made out to be the bad one for reacting the way he did, then, it’s no longer Enji’s fault for abusing him in the first place. After all, Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shoto were similiarly abused and they didn’t react that way. Maybe Dabi just had bad vibes. If Dabi and Shoto are fighting each other, neither of them are fighting Enji, and the society he represents which enabled Enji’s abuse. While victims blame each other for their own reactions they don’t confront the abuser. 

Endeavor burned them, and Shoto, and Dabi are coping with those lifelong burns in different ways. Instead of trying to kill each other, they have much more to gain from sympathizing with one another. Shoto’s path to become a hero and surpassing his father, should take the course of being a hero who rescues. We’re even shown in this arc how horribly violent Enji is towards Shigaraki, a victim of similiar abuse to Shoto. Shoto would become a better hero, from listening to Dabi’s perspective and learning about the flaws in hero society. Whereas, Dabi needs to learn that he has a future beyond dragging his father to hell with him. Shoto was only able to open up to other people because someone forced their way through his walls and told him that his flame was his own, and Shoto can be the one to open Dabi’s eyes that his flame can be used for more than just destruction.

Shoto’s desire for a hero is not wrong, Dabi’s desire to confront Endeavor’s abuse is not wrong. Both of these things are necessary. To make a person stop behaving badly you have to confront them about your behavior. However, it’s not healthy to linger in your pain forever because you won’t be able to move on and heal. 

Shoto is someone who can tell the all important words to Dabi. Your flames are your own. Didn’t you want to be a hero? 

PS. It’s really hypocritical to say that Dabi is wrong for announcing what Enji did on public television, like... Shoto tells his backstory to literally anyone who asks. Fuyumi casually discusses the fact that Natsuo thinks their father killed their brother with Shoto’s two friends from school. THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT. THE TODOROKIS WILL TALK ABOUT THEIR DRAMA IN FRONT OF ANYBODY. 

[diavolosthots]

Could you make a fic about mc becoming an angel and (her boyfriend) Barbatos is uncomfortable with it? But that mc will (literally) fall for him

***REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN THIS IS FROM LAST TIME***

This one was probable the hardest

Turning (BARBATOS X GN!READER)

Angels. They’re creatures he doesn’t deal with very often. As a matter of fact, he hasn’t dealt with them in a few centuries, not until the exchange program happened and he was kind of thrown into the middle of it. Falling for you was even less expected than any of that. Of course, he could see into the future and see that he would meet you and such, but even with that knowledge, actually falling for you felt so different. It felt as if he wasn’t prepared at all, even though he knew it. It felt foreign and kind of scary, although he never let that on. He kind of felt bad, too, because he knew you were falling for him as well, and being in a relationship with him would be super stressful. Diavolo would always come first to him, you needed to understand that, and a lot of people can’t understand that their significant other has obligations elsewhere, but it seemed different with you. 

You were super understanding, and if anything, you encouraged him to be there for Diavolo even more, something he found odd at first, but tried not to question too much. Later on, he realized that that was just your way of showing trust and empathy; you understood. He spent his days making sure you knew he loved you and he’d make sure to invite you for dinners at the castle and the like. Diavolo also grew fond of you, and as long as Barbatos was happy, everything was fine with Diavolo as well. Barbatos dreaded the day you’d have to leave again, although something much different happened before that scenario could even take place. He still recalls your words, “Barbatos.. I feel...weird.”

His first reaction was to assume that you just fell doom to some human illness. The flu? Maybe dehydration? Or maybe you just ate the wrong thing. He encouraged you to drink lots and rest for the time being, but you only seemed to get worse. “Barbatos…” It pained him to hear your sweet voice call out to him for help and him not being able to do much, not unless he took a peak. It wasn’t that you were getting weaker… it was more that you felt like you were under constant pressure, literally. Your muscles ached and your back hurt, but it wasn’t uncomfortable… “I’ll look, okay? Give me a moment.” He tried to soothe your worries by looking into the future, thinking it may just be some kind of bone issue, or maybe you were just severely stressed, but a peek into the future gave him something else. 

It wasn’t even something he could properly make out. It was… it was this white light, super bright, and then nothing. Darkness. It was as if something was blocking his view; something didn’t want him to see. Of course he didn’t want to tell you that and make you worry even more, so he lied a bit, saying it was just your body adjusting to the Devildom and everything will be fine, “Just rest a lot, (Y/N). I’ll be sure to provide for you as much as you need me too.” He talked to Diavolo about it, trying to see if the Demon Lord would at least have an assumption, but nothing came from him either. But then… he had his answer. He saw the bright light, coming from your room as he was just about to check on you again. Instinct told him to stay away, that this was not something he should get involved in, but he also couldn’t just leave you! What if something had happened? “(Y/N)?” He called out to you, almost fearfully opening the door, only to find you naked, vulnerable, a million white feathers flying around you as your wings pulled back into your back. 

To say he was confused was an understatement, but there was also another emotion running through him; fear. It’s as if you suddenly became this all powerful being. Realistically speaking, he could probably take you on if he needed to, but the demon inside of him feared the light and it feared what was in front of him. “Barb--!” But the servant was already off to tell his master about it . All of this caused an uproar within the castle as confusion and fear broke out. Fear, not necessarily of you, but of the unknown. Still, your boyfriend could barely stand to look at you, Satan treated you as a test subject, and Diavolo and Lucifer looked like they had just seen God himself. It made you uncomfortable. Honestly, the whole situation made you uncomfortable. You didn’t feel right as an angel, not here anyway, so you left, leaving nothing, not even a note, but heaven seemed so much worse. 

You felt even odder in the place that angels seemed to call home. It was worse than the Devildom in your opinion; too many happy faces. Too many angels who tried to befriend you. Not enough Barbatos. Barbatos… you’d do anything for him. He was so loyal and devoted to you, and you felt like you needed to be the same for him, but not like this. Like this you felt empty, and odd, and useless. This isn’t you. “I’m sorry…” you spoke to no one in particular, although a few angels turned their heads to look at you, right as you took the leap of faith that would seal your fate. 

Darkness. Barbatos realized, as soon as the flash of white opened up the sky, he knew what the darkness that he had seen while glimpsing into the future truly meant, and he was quick to rush outside, catching you in his arms, although he stumbled a bit, “(Y/N).” Your name fell softly from his lips as he took you back inside, calling out to his Lord to speak of the news. He felt… overjoyed, in a weird way. You had done this for him, although you didn’t need to, and to him, turning was the ultimate sacrifice. Now, he will tend to you just like he had before, without fear or worry. His hand caressed over your tender skin, stroking over the horns that started to grow out of your head, “Thank you, my dear (Y/N), for making a sacrifice for both of us.”

[meichenxi]

Dear ‘White guy speaks perfect X and shocks Y!’ language YouTubers: STOP

A rant about every single fucking video by Xiaomanyc and similar YouTubers all titled things like CLUELESS WHITE GUY/GIRL LEARNS [INSERT NON-WHITE LANGUAGE HERE] AND SHOCKS [INSERT PLACE].

Disclaimer: I am white British, and I am also very often a moron. I'm trying to inform myself more, and would like to learn. So let me know if there is anything I should change, anything I’ve got wrong or any terminology I can change. 

So this evening I opened YouTube to get some quality Hikaru no Go content, and saw yet another video recommended to me about Xiaomanyc called Clueless white guy orders in perfect Chinese, shocks patrons and staff!!!!

Really? Really. Ok, his Chinese certainly is good - but it isn't great. And it isn’t necessarily any better than people I've seen in the higher levels of a class at university who have spent some time in China. It's solidly intermediate. That's not an insult - that level of Chinese is hard to attain, and definitely worth celebrating!! Hell, I celebrate every new word I learn. But while it may be unusual, it doesn't forgive the clickbait type videos like 'White guy speaks perfect Chinese and wows [insert place]'. 

These kind of clickbait titles rest on a number of assumptions. Before I say any more, I just want to make a note about terminology. Note that ’majority’ and ‘minority’ are not necessarily helpful labels, because they imply both a) a higher number of speakers in a certain place, and b) socially prestigious in some way. Of course a language like standard Mandarin is not a minority in China, but it might be in Germany. Talking about ‘minority’ languages that have a large speaker base outside of the country, like Chinese, is also not the same as talking about languages that have been systematically surpressed by a colonising, dominant language in their original communities, like indigenous languages. In many communities, especially in colonial and post-colonial situations, the language spoken by the majority is not one of prestige at all. Or some languages may be prestigious and expected in oral contexts, but not written - and so on. I use these terms here as best I can, but don't expect them to work 100% of the time.

So let’s unpack these assumptions a little. 

1) That there is something inherently more ‘worthy’ in somebody who learns languages because they want to, rather than because they have to: and that, correspondingly, the people who want to are white (spoilers: much of Europe is multilingual, and white immigrants in majority white countries also exist, as well as discrimination against them e.g. Polish people in the UK), and that those who have to learn are not (spoilers: really? There are plenty of non-white monolinguals who are either happy being monolingual, don’t have access to learning, or don’t have to learn another language but are interested in it).

2) That everybody from a certain background automatically speaks all ‘those’ languages already, or that childhood multilingualism is a free pass - spoilers, it isn’t. Achieving high levels of fluency in multiple languages is hard, especially for languages with different writing systems, because no matter how perfect your upbringing, you’re still ultimately exposed to it maximum 50% of the time of monolingual speakers. Realistically, most people get far less exposure than 50% in any of their languages. Also, situations of multilingualism in many parts of the world are far more complex than home language / social language. You might speak one language with your father and his father, another with your mother and her family, another in the community, and another at school. Which one is your native language then? Monolinguals tell horror stories of ‘both cups half empty’ scenarios, but come on - how on earth do you expect a person to have the same size vocabulary in a language they hear only 25% of the time? Also, languages are spoken in different domains, to different people, in different social situations: just because someone hears Farsi at home doesn’t mean they can give a talk on the filing system at their local library. If something is outside of a multilingual person’s langauge domain, they might have to learn the vocabulary for it just like monolinguals. There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect bilingual’. 

3) That learning another language imperfectly for leisure is laudable, but learning one imperfectly for work or survival is not. If you’re a speaker of a minority language, learning another language is necessary, ‘just what you have to do’, and if you don’t do it ‘properly’, that’s because of your lack of intelligence / laziness etc. It’s cool for the seconday school student to speak a bit of bad Japanese, but not so cool for the Indian guy who runs her favourite restaurant in Tokyo. 

4) That majority speakers learning a minority language is somehow an act of surprising benevolence that should not go unrewarded. Languages are intrinsically tied up with identity - and access to them may not be a right, but a gift. Don’t assume that because you get a good reception with some speakers of one language that speakers of another will be grateful you’re learning their language, or that everyone will react the same. One of the reasons these videos are possible at all is that many Chinese speakers, in my experience, are incredibly welcoming and enthusiastic to non-natives learning Chinese. Some languages and linguistic groups have been so heavily persecuted that imagining such thing as an ‘apolitical’ language learner is a fundamental misunderstanding of the context in which the language is spoken, and essentially an impossibility when the act of speaking claims ownership to a group. Many people will not want you to learn their language, because it has been suppressed for hundreds of years - it’s theirs, not yours. We respect that. Whilst it’s great to learn a minority language, don’t do it for the YouTube likes - do it because you’re genuinely interested in the language, people, culture and history. We don’t deserve anything special for having done so. 

5) That speaking a ‘foreign’ (i.e. culturally impressive / prestigious) language is much more impressive and socially acceptable than speaking a heritage language, home language or indigenous language. There are harmful language policies all around the world that simultaneously encourage the learning of ‘educational’ languages like Spanish, and at the same time forbid the use of the child’s mother tongue in class. And many non-majority languages are not foreign at all - they were spoken here, wherever you are, before English or Spanish or Russian or, yes, standard Mandarin Chinese. Policies that encourage standardised testing in English from a very young age like the ‘No Child Left Behind’ policy in the US disproportionately affect indigenous communities that are trying to revitalise their language against overwhelming callousness and cruelty - they expect bilingual children to attain the same level of English as a monolingual in first grade, which in an immersion school, they obviously won’t (and shouldn’t - they’ll get enough exposure to English as they grow up to make it not matter later down the line). But if the schools want funding, their kids have to pass those tests. 

There’s more to cover - that’s just the tip of the iceberg. 

Some people’s response to these videos and why the titles are ‘wrong’ would be: does it matter that he's white? Shouldn't it just be 'second language learner speaks perfect Chinese'? This is the same sort of attitude as ‘I don’t see race’. I think it does matter that he is white - because communities of many languages around the world are so used to them having to learn a second language and colonial powers not bothering to learn theirs. You wouldn't get the same reactions in these videos if he were Asian American but grew up speaking / hearing no Chinese - because then it would be expected. You also wouldn't get the same reaction if he were an immigrant in a Chinese-speaking community from somewhere else in Asia.

It also implies that all white people = monolingual Americans with no interest in other cultures. While we all are complacent and complicit in failing to educate ourselves about the effects of historical and modern colonialism, titles like this perpetuate a very harmful stereotype - and I don't mean harmful as in 'poor Xiaomanyc', but harmful in that it suggests that this attitude is ok, it's part of 'being white', and therefore doesn't need to change. The reaction when someone doesn't engage with other cultures and isn't willing to learn about them shouldn't be 'lmao classic white guy'. That not only puts the subject in a group with other 'classic white guys', but puts a nice acceptable label on what really is privilege, a lack of curiosity, ignorance, and the opportunity (which most non-white people don't have) to have everything you learn in school and university be about you. If you're ignorant - ok. We are all about many things. But you don't have any excuse not to educate yourself. The 'foreigner experience' that white people get in places like China is not the same as immigrants in a predominantly monolingual, predominantly white English speaking area. As we can see in those kind of videos, white foreigners may be stared at, but ultimately enjoy huge privilege in many places around the world. It's not the same. 

It also ignores, well, essentially the whole of Europe outside the UK and Ireland and many other places around the globe, where multilingualism is incredibly common - and where the racial dichotomy commonly heard in America isn't quite appropriate, or an oversimplification of many complex ethnic/national/racial/religious/linguistic etc factors that all influence discrimination and privilege. Actually many 'white guys' in Europe and places all around the world speak four or five languages to get by - some in highly privileged upbringings and school systems, yes, but others because they have grown up in a border town, or because they are immigrants and want to give their children a better start than they did, or because they want to work abroad and send home money. Many, like people all around the world, don't get a chance to learn to read and write their first language or dialect, which is considered 'lesser' than the majority language (French, Russian, English etc); many people, like Gaelic speakers in Scotland or speakers of Basque in France, have faced historical persecution and have been denied opportunities for speaking their mother tongue. My mother was beaten and my grandparents denied jobs for being Gaelic speakers. They are white, and they have benefited from being white in lots of other ways - but their linguistic experience is light-years from Xiaomanyc's. 

It isn't 'white' to be surprised at a white person speaking another language - it's just ignorant. But the two ARE correlated, because who in modern America can afford to go through twenty one years and still be ignorant? People who have never had to learn a second language; people who have always had everybody adapt to THEIR linguistic needs, and not the other way around. People who have had all media, all books, centred around people who look like them and speak like them. And even in America, that's not just 'white' - that's specifically white (often middle class) English monolinguals.

I'm not saying everybody who doesn't speak a language should feel guilty for not learning one ( it's understandably not the priority for everyone - economic reasons, family, only so many hours in the day - there are plenty of reasons why language learning when you don’t have to is also not accessible to everyone).  But be aware of the double standards we have as a society towards other socially/racially/religiously disadvantaged groups versus white college grads. You can't demonise one whilst lauding the other. 

To all language YouTubers - do yourself a favour, and stop doing this. Your skills are impressive - that's enough. 

 tldr; clickbait titles like this rely on double standards and perpetuate harmful ideas - don't write them, and let your own language skills do the talking please.

[ckret2]

GVK spoilers below, about conspiracy theories

I’m gonna get around to posting all my GVK reactions but this one got long so I’m putting it in its own post.

The Monsterverse series, in both KOTM and GVK, has some pretty interesting things to say about conspiracy theories and ecofascism; but, unfortunately, it doesn’t REALIZE that it’s saying any of them, so it keeps dropping the ball and missing opportunities to explore them.

Starting with KOTM, “there’s too many humans so we’ve just gotta let some die and that’ll fix pollution 🤷” is like false ecofascist claim #1 but at no point in the movie was it challenged as unfactual, it was just presented as a sad truth that people have to do morally ambiguous things about. Except that it’s just literally mathematically not true!

Emma could be such a GREAT, believable character—especially in this world with, like, frigging QAnon nonsense getting such widespread traction—showing a compelling, realistic tragedy of how this normal, intelligent, well-educated white mom who otherwise is likely left-leaning (pro-environmentalism, pro-nature conservation, got a doctorate and generally more academia correlates with more liberal ideals) got sucked into a far right ecofascist doomsday militia that combines hokey pseudo-environmentalist propaganda with “in balance with nature” semi-religious mysticism, because she was exploited at a time when she was emotionally vulnerable (when her kid had just died) and was lacking healthy emotional support (when her husband turned to alcohol and then ran off).

... Except the movie never says that her “overpopulation” beliefs are WRONG. It says that they’re RIGHT, and she was just forced to choose between two losing scenarios—deliberately kill most of humanity to hopefully save a few, or watch humanity kill itself.

Nobody bothers to mention that the size of the population isn’t the problem, it’s the disproportionate pollution coming out of first world countries. Nobody bothers to mention that when Emma talks about “overpopulation” and shows a screenshot of an overcrowded neighborhood, it ain’t affluent downtown skyscraper condos in Europe or America that she’s highlighting, but large masses of poor people whose neighborhoods look “dirty” to the white woman’s eyes, despite the fact that they’re contributing the least to humanity’s carbon footprint.

Emma’s beliefs are empirically wrong, and if KOTM had ever demonstrated that, it would’ve been brilliant. Instead, it tries to say “she was right, she just went too far,” and in doing so loses an opportunity to make Emma a deeply believable, timely, realistic, well-meaning but wrong villain.

And now we’ve got GVK, which has swerved away from the ecofascism but doubled down on the conspiracy theories. Here, Emma’s daughter, who was raised for five years with what amounts to a survivalist doomsday cult’s beliefs, when faced with the grief of her mother’s death and the struggle of trying to reconnect to her estranged father, turns—again—to conspiracies to make sense of the world around her. Because that’s what Madison’s been raised with, and even though she got disillusioned with the particular “we know something special that the normal people can’t handle” beliefs that she was raised with, that kind of thinking is still what she knows. She’s still doing what her mother raised her to do! She’s still pulling the “hypercompetent highly-trained lone wolf ‘survivor’ saves the world” shtick that Jonah’s gang taught her to do—but it’s never brought up that it was screwed up to raise a child like that and it’s screwed up for her to still be interacting with the world like that.

At least THIS conspiracy theorist isn’t literally advocating for global genocide. Bernie’s focus largely seems to be on “this corporation is trying to screw people over and screw up the environment—” (because in Monsterverse, as in Toho monster movies as a whole, kaiju/titans and the environment are symbolically conflated, so if a corporation is messing with Godzilla then they’re messing with nature as well) “—so I’m gonna find out what they’re up to and be a whistleblower.” Which is great! Solid start! We’ve got a guy taking aim at big business and who says “when the weather Godzilla acts erratic, it’s not random chance, it’s because a big business is doing something it shouldn’t,” so it looks like we’ve got a leftist conspiracy theorist, that’s different, could be interesting to explore.

Except then he starts talking about governments serving a “global elite” and facilities built by “lizard people” and then we’ve swung right back around to the far right by casually dropping in a couple of antisemitic conspiracy theories.

Add that in with the whole “hollow earth” thing and damn, we’re namedropping a lot of antisemitic conspiracy theories, aren’t we? Granted, most conspiracy theories ARE antisemitic—but like, they could have dug around for some that aren’t. Have him talk some more about Roswell. Have him bring up things that we’ve actually got documentation happened and theorize that MKUltra research was used in Apex’s development of their pilot’s psychic mind link to Mechagodzilla. Have him bring up tailor-made-for-the-Monsterverse conspiracy theories that don’t exist here, “Monster Zero is actually the secret weapon of a nearby ‘Planet X’ that’s gonna invade,” whatever. Instead, nah, we went with the antisemitic ones.

Now, do I think the writers behind KOTM and GVK intended antisemitism? Do I think they’re closet alt-right trying to dogwhistle the fascists in the audience? No, I think they think they’re making fun of—or playing around with—what they see as harmless, unbelievable, way-out-there conspiracy theories. I think they know just enough about “hollow earth” and “global elites” and “lizard people” to make references to them, but not in a way that promotes the common antisemitic understanding of those theories as true. (Monsterverse’s hollow earth, a weird underground jungle where King Kong lives, sure doesn’t resemble the usual conspiracy theory.) To me, the way they were used suggests the writers didn’t deeply understand (or at least, didn’t deeply think about) what the theories really mean—nor what they imply about the beliefs of the characters who espouse them. Which is the crux of my issue with how the movies deal with conspiracy theories and ecofascists and so forth (beyond the fact that, hey, I just don’t like seeing likable characters casually referencing antisemitic beliefs): the writers didn’t think about the implications.

Because these things do imply a lot! For example, if, say, Josh, total newb to conspiracy theories, had asked about lizard people, I would have grimaced to hear it but I would have believed that he’s a teen boy that picked up the term at school and doesn’t know anything about what’s behind it. But on the other hand, I can’t believe a guy so deep in the conspiracy theory world that he bathes in bleach doesn’t know exactly what those conspiracies mean—or, even if he does somehow staunchly refuse to believe that “lizard people” is a code for “Jewish people,” that whatever circle of conspiracy theorists he runs with doesn’t use it as a code. Bernie didn’t pick up those beliefs in a void. I really doubt that’s what the writers wanted to imply about the goofy likable underdog with a podcast.

And sure, the “global elite” and “lizard people” references are presented like a “haha look how far out his beliefs are” joke—the same as the fluoride reference, which is basically Hollywood code for “bogus nonsense only complete lunatics believe” thanks to Dr. Strangelove—but at the same time, they’re never really disproven. Nothing he believes is challenged. Nor are any of Madison’s beliefs that she’s picked up from him. Everything they both believe is either a “wow that’s wild” throwaway joke, or else they’re presented as totally right, e.g. about Apex being up to dubious crap that’s irritating Godzilla.

Just like Emma, who was presented as in the wrong not because she was incorrect but because she WAS correct but took the wrong actions. And just like Rick in KOTM, who kept bring up the hollow earth theory like a running joke but then the joke was that he was right.

And that’s at the root of the issues with both movies’ portrayals of conspiracy theories. Aside from the jokes that are never explored (and therefore, never disproven), the movies say that, every time it matters, the conspiracy theorists on the fringe are correct, the heroes that need to be believed. Even though all (excluding Rick) are characters who have suffered deep loss, who have been hurt, who you can imagine as passionate but grieving people who turned to dangerously wrong extremism in their search for meaning... the movies don’t portray them as people who have been led astray by their pain, but enlightened by their pain. Which is what they themselves think they are, sure, but that doesn’t line up with reality.

The movies never forces them to grapple with how far they’ve gone astray from reality—and I think they should. I’d like to see them processing the revelation that their beliefs are wrong. Whether it’s as big as somebody trying to convince Emma that killing half the population doesn’t fix the pollution caused by corporations rich enough to weather a global hurricane, or as small as Bernie looking at Apex’s financial records and realizing the company’s money is going to the CEO’s vacation home rather than a reptile government and deciding to rethink those beliefs after they’ve checked out Hong Kong.

“Conspiracy theorist is right about everything” is already a common enough trope that Monsterverse isn’t breaking any new ground with it. And in a franchise like Godzilla, whose movies are rife with messages both allegorical and literal about environmentalism, corporate exploitation, the futility of military action, international politics, war crimes... letting the conspiracy theorists be wrong and showing that they’re wrong and what that wrongness can lead to would mesh far better with the themes of Godzilla.

Think about Jonah and Emma unleashing Ghidorah (who emerged from a destroyed ice cap and immediately caused devastating hurricanes—a perfect metaphor for climate change), and what that could say about how ecofascists who purportedly joined the movement because they support environmentalism are actually far more in bed with the destructive industries really at the root of environmental damage... if the movie acknowledged them as ecofascists.

Think about how Jonah collected Ghidorah’s head at the end of KOTM and by the time of GVK it was in Apex’s hands, and how this exchange demonstrates that “I want to unleash titans to destroy humanity to save the environment” Jonah the ecoterrorist and “I want to beat the titans to protect humanity” Simmons the billionaire CEO actually have far more similar ideals beneath the surface of their opposed goals—ideals that have less to do with the environment or with humanity and more to do with securing personal power and control... if the movie had explained how this exchange took place.

Think about how Madison’s mother died trying to mitigate just a little of the damage she did under the thrall of a doomsday cult’s skewed beliefs, how even though Madison broke free she found herself embroiled in similarly skewed beliefs just three years later, and how powerful it would have been if she recognized that she herself had walked right back into the kind of fringe beliefs her mother had led her into as a child, and if she had then resolved to learn how this kept happening to her and break this pattern... if the movie had ever let her realize that she was making the same mistakes, or even acknowledged them as mistakes.

There’s so much potential there, so many things you can see happening right beneath the surface... but the movies never touch on them. And so it looks like, in Monsterverse, all fringe beliefs are either right or harmless. And we never get the “disillusioned conspiracy theorist” story that could be so brilliant and that, right now, would be so relevant.

[vidalinav]

Why? Why? WHY? Rant 2.0

ACOSF is very interesting to me, because there was absolutely no reason to have any of them be so antogonistic to Nesta when she was at rock bottom unless it’s to set up that they’re still going to be problems with Nesta in later books. That’s what SJM set up whether she meant to or not and only time will tell. But If the IC and the sisters had said nothing and were more neutral and the plot stayed the same... it would have been a better book. If they showed an ounce of compassion, it would have been a fantastic book. If there was a mixture of different views on the matter, it would have been a realistic book. Except in the narrative we got, the amount of antagonism is too strong for what didn’t happen to negate that, which is also why I have such a bad feeling about this healing arc. Let me explain.

Let’s say they said nothing. They told her about the intervention. Nesta agreed albeit still feeling a bit betrayed because she wanted more time to heal. Rhys was quiet, not sneering. Mor didn’t say anything. Amren was civil maybe business like. They were a bit pushy about using her powers, but Nesta conceded after learning about the baby. They were never directly antagonist. Elain stayed away, but we’d obviously know why from Nesta’s POV. We would also know why Feyre is not there, because Nesta doesn’t want to see her. Cassian would then be there to segment the romance and be the person she leans on, when she is healing. Maybe she’s a bit mean, but he takes it. He challenges, eventually he shows the more caring part of himself and the romance begins. Everything else can stay the same, mostly Cassian too. IF that all happened, then I would be more inclined to believe that the intervention was necessary, that Nesta had a skewed perspective, that they all might have tried to help at some point but Nesta was the one pushing them all away and did so up to this point. She would have her revelations, her epiphanies, and realize hey perhaps she is mean sometimes, or she would still have her personal hatred, and it would be about accountability, but no one is actively proving her right about her skewed perspective. The consequence is then not that she is being shamed into healing, but that without healing, she would lose her relationships and she wants them. She grows to want them. I would then be inclined to believe that the IC were waiting her out, possibly having Feyre or Cassian in their best interest if not Nesta, and that they were minding their own business until they directly needed Nesta involved. Not hostile, but wary perhaps. And then when Nesta did start healing and opening up, then their reactions would have made sense in that they were lightly friendly but not close, and it was up to Nesta to really fix those relationships. And when she did sacrifice her powers, then it would have been purely internal, that Nesta was proving to herself and to others that she’s open for love and that she loves them, particularly Feyre. The entire healing arc then would have been more internal because it focuses on Nesta and not the IC’s involvement with Nesta, and the outcomes and the ending are still the same. 

Opposite wise, let’s say that the IC/sisters were empathetic, as in the arc that would be more external. Healing not just for Nesta but for the relationships. A reciprocal sort of love. Feyre would tell her that they’re intervening, but because they care for her and she’ll learn in due time. Rhys would maybe be more hard-pressed, but we would see instances where he understands the darkness, the hollow feeling. We would have Amren who looks deeply concerned for Nesta, because she had been her friend at some point. We’d have Elain, who would come to the library desperately seeking comradery and even though she cries at what Nesta says, she understands that Nesta is hard-pressed and only recently started healing. Cassian would possibly be getting frustrated, but there would always be this internal monologue of I want Nesta to heal. I want that girl back. I understand as a soldier if nothing else. Having this deep sorrow in his chest from perhaps not being able to do anything but wait. Mor wouldn’t have to be nice, but she would see how Nesta fits in the library, know the pain of growing up in a gilded cage, would perhaps see Feyre and Cassian and feel compassion for her friends and want to perhaps help for them, so she offers to teach Nesta how to dance. Nesta then would slowly open up to them, open up to love, and all of the ugly parts of herself, the hateful, angry parts would then be juxtaposed with the action of everyone else, with the love that she needs to feel for herself, the love that came even at the last moment with her father. And when she sacrifices her powers, it’s just proof again, that she loves, and she wants to love, and she’s willing to be hurt for love, because she wants to feel it all. And then the relationships at the end would then be open to be made, to be healed more completely, but then I would understand this hopeful sort of ending where her story is complete, but also just beginning. 

Third option, is that we could get a bit of everything, because why does everyone have the same opinion as it seems in the book? Perhaps it’s Feyre and Cassian who completely show compassion, empathy. Elain could still have the problems, but either show empathy, or completely be antagonistic. Azriel is fairly neutral, Rhys is maybe more neutral where they’re waiting it out, but there are no bad opinions towards her. The antagonists could be Mor and Amren. Any of these people could be switched in that role, but the point would be that a few are neutral and more business like or minding their own. A few could possibly have bad intentions and it would be clear. And some would be undeniably empathetic, and I don’t mean to be kind--I mean that they understand, they have viewed Nesta through her eyes, and understand what she is going through and are unwilling to give up on her. The empathy would be the important aspect. But the point would be that none of them change their characteristics. The antagonists would still be fairly antagonistic. The mind your own’s would be open to a friendship, but the friendship would need work but there is a foundation for it. The empathetic would be completely close to the main, because they have stood by her, they have fought, and Nesta would realize this in her own personal journey. They have segmented a bond. The plot would be the same, except we’d now see that some characters suck more than others, and there’s definitely character arcs and growth that need to be made, but it would lead to future books that that might be highlighted and therefore leaves the door open for the rest of the series. 

HOWEVER, what we got is very odd. 

Because all of these characters start off antagonistic. All of them have some comments that are goading (except for Azriel). We have Feyre who makes the embarrassment comment, Rhys who... is antagonistic in many places. I won’t list them all. We have Mor and her lines. We have Amren and her lines. We have Elain and her lines. And no variation with anyone. Nesta gets proven right about her wrong perspective. She has an internal healing arc that seems to just morph into another odd perception, because she’s never proved wrong about herself, but she’s proven right about how good Cassian is (rolls eyes). She notes that she might like who she's becoming by the end, but how? Why? What has occurred to disprove her irrational thoughts? At the end, she is still very much irrational. Nesta still thinks too highly of Cassian, and she thinks too highly of everyone, and very little for herself. She is ripped wide open emotionally though, but that happens after the solstice scene where life suddenly looks very good. She apologies to Amren, who probably least deserved the apology, and to Cassian who also makes comments, but keeps making comments until the end where he means to apologize but doesn’t get the chance to by plot. Oh wait, she does apologize to Feyre about telling her about the baby, I think, but that situation is just swept under the rug for how dramatic it ended up being. Her not wanting to exist is also one and done. The necessity of the intervention is never highlighted, so the reader questions if it was necessary. I question if she might not need an intervention from them. Some of them stay the same throughout (Azriel, maybe Elain... maybe Feyre). Some of them miraculously change to neutral, even if nothing happens to change their mind (Mor). Some of them just change completely (Amren). Some of the relationships are only really fixed because of the baby plot (Rhys and Feyre). And Cassian is probably the only one who has the most reasonable scenario on why that relationship blooms, but it’s questionable if it was truly satisfying because ultimately the only person who really had growth was Nesta even though there are two POVs. And at the end, no one still has shown empathy. Well actually Gwyn and Emerie showed empathy, so perhaps the motivation in healing with Nesta was just added friends, a mate, and distraction. Which I guess... but why then involve so much of the opinions of the IC/sisters if they don’t mean too much? Why emphasize the danger of Nesta, the badness of Nesta, the problems with Nesta, and not negate any of these in scenes with the people that are perceiving her like that. Especially if the goal of this is not to just heal but to heal relationships, as it seems like that was the goal or should have been the goal if the perceptions of others were emphasized. So the end was almost too happy, too hopeful for an arc that started off with such deep trauma and every relationship seemingly failing to a point where the others are antagonistic, and who the narrator received the bare minimum at best to facilitate change... It’s a balance issue I’m telling you.

And, I am making general statements about what happened for good reason. I am trying to show how this could be more satisfying, if the aspects of the story was changed just a teeny bit. I have never read a book so deep in good and bad things. So easily arguable and all it took was how other people affected the narrative. So, I ask why? Why not make the IC/sisters empathetic or neutral or a strong variation of all three (empathetic, neutral, and antagonist). Why have all of them start fairly antagonist, very obviously antagonistic actually, and then have no major scenes of disproval? Because if you start that dramatic you need dramatic scenes throughout to facilitate the dramatic ending. If you start very low or very angry and the ending is suppose to be higher than rock bottom, the middle scenes should be a tug of war. So where was it? Why do it? 

WHy? why? WHY???????