#it’s early as hell but my stomach was 🥺…

[tariah23]

I didn’t even go to sleep… emo…

[ghouldump]

hi your fics are so amazing!!

if you’re open to requests, i was wondering if you could write a lestat x louis x reader fic that takes place during their huge fight in the townhouse? i can imagine the reader being a mother figure to claudia and trying to protect her during it and getting hurt in the process of trying to break up louis and lestat. i’d love to see how the reader deals with the aftermath of her and louis’ injuries as well as claudia taking care of the two of them.

sorry if its confusing😭 i thought of this while rewatching s1

For The Love Of A Daughter | Lestat x Reader x Louis

ෆ out of fear, lestat does the unimaginable and has to try his hardest to win his family's trust back, but it may be too late

the comparison of s1 vs s2 of this scene had me on the edge of my seat 🥺 ⚠️ THIS IS S1 E5 ‼️

How did your once beautiful family go to ruins? When Claudia was created? When she rebelled? Or when she left? Your daughter, you would go to hell and back for her, yet, you couldn't convince her to stay.

Lestat was cruelly strict with her, invading her privacy by reading her diaries, not considering the fact that she was trapped in the early stages of puberty for an eternity. She couldn't help that she was a young girl stuck in this body, and he never let her forget or made it easier on her.

Louis, he'd always been passive, about your companionship, as well as his role as a parent. He wanted to keep the peace and harmony. If that meant allowing Lestat to discipline her, then he’d turn his head to not have to watch out of guilt.

Then you, Lestat often complained that you spoiled her too much. You never raised a finger to her, nor your voice. You hadn't been brought up that way, and so you did the same with her. You still remember the night she left. Packing only a few things, while you and Louis tried convincing her to stay. Standing her ground, she gave you both a hug, letting the wind carry her away.

Seven years flew by, silence made its way into the house that no longer felt like a home. Louis nose-deep in book after book, Lestat leaving going god knows where, while you remained secluded, drawing, reading, and sometimes staring at the wall.

Tonight was a rarity, Lestat wasn't running off, and Louis sat on the sofa, reading, while you sat in a chair, your head lying on your arm, taking in the soft jazz music.

Hearing the door open, Claudia entered, setting her suitcase on the floor. Rushing over, you wrapped your arms around her, rocking back and forth. Pulling away, your heart broke as Louis hugged her tightly. He too had been taking it so hard, since she had been gone. Abruptly, the music stopped, Lestat glaring at her.

“The prodigal daughter”

“I've come to apologize, I put all of you in a bad spot, I wasn't right in my head. I am now,” she said. You couldn't put your finger on it, but there was something different about her, a certain brokenness, she was trying to shut away.

“Apology not accepted,” Lestat said.

“How was college? Magna cum? Summa cum? Phi Beta Kappa?” he continued.

“I've read a lot of books. Started with Persia and Babylon, the old gods who longed for blood. A lot of it was popcorn, but a few old tomes. A Romanian tract on vampirs. A strange old Hungarian text, ‘Masticatione Mortuorum,’ the chewing dead. I plan to leave for that part of the world as soon as I can,” she told him. You and Louis shared a look, sensing that this wasn't headed in a positive direction.

“So, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good,” Lestat spat.

“A quick stop to pick up my mama and Louis,” she told him. Your hand went to your stomach, trying to control the unsettling nervousness building up. Lestat glanced at the two of you, before glaring at her in disgust.

“Oh, Perused a few folklore anthologies, and now you're going to cross the ocean and take on a society of monsters,” he said, slowly making his way towards her.

“If what I've read is lies, then tell me what's true,” she told him, but he only continued to stare at her as if she was beneath him.

“Seven years and what’s changed, other than you need a housekeeper?” she sneered. He slowly approached her, and as you were about to step forward to intervene, Louis grabbed your hand, discreetly shaking his head.

“The vampires out there…are vicious. Oh, but you've learned that already. Who did you meet out there in the American hinterland? Read her,” Lestat looked at the two of you, walking away. Staring at her, you quickly wiped the tear from your eye, you couldn't imagine what she had been through all on her own.

“That’s it, keep 'em scared. That's his way,” she said to you both.

“The vampires in Europe are much, much worse”

“But I think he's scared,” she spoke over him.

“I never asked, how did Charlie taste? Like the love you'll never really know,” he said, trying to get under her skin.

“And when he's scared, he ridicules”

“She was a destitute little girl, destined to live an inconsequential little life,” he said, approaching the both of you.

“And we took it from her, we cursed her,” Louis said, making the smug expression drop from his face. Looking at you, his frown deepened, seeing you gaze at her, the bloody tears moments from seeping out.

“Come with me!” she called out, both of you staring at her.

“Come with me, mama, Louis”

“Louis, Y/n,” Lestat said, becoming angry as neither of you looked at him.

“I thought I could live without either of you, but I was wrong,” Claudia said, her eyes pleading for you to come along.

“Y/n, Louis”

“Louis, Y/n,” Lestat continued, raising his voice.

“His love is a small box he keeps you both in, don't stay in it,” she said, as you glanced at him.

“A thousand nights of sulking, and the first sight of her, you are just gonna up and leave me?!” Lestat yelled.

“Please, come with me! Let’s be vampires worth of your love!” Claudia screamed before Lestat surged, choking her.

“Get off of her,” you said, going to shove him off of her. However, he was much stronger, gaining the upper hand, his fingers wrapping around your throat, he looked unrecognizable.

“You, always choosing her,” he spat, before Louis charged over, tackling him.

As they fought, Claudia screamed, panicking, as you tried to keep up with them. Throwing Louis in the living room. Lestat straddled him, punching him in the face.

“Lestat, stop it,” you cried out, jumping on his back, but he easily slung you across the room, as you smashed into the wall, you could feel your arm already broken.

“Claudia, stay down here,” you told her, rushing to the bedroom.

“Stop fighting,” you screamed, as they continued tackling each other.

“Let him go,” you hear Claudia crying.

“It’s alright, you stay where you're at,” Louis told her, as if he wasn't completely bruised up.

“You're going to choose her too? Leave me for her when she left you both, I’ve been here,” he told you, as you slowly backed away, unsure of what he'd do next.

“Lestat st-

“Do not tell me what to do,” he told you, wrapping his hand around your throat, and pulling you close. His nails were in your skin, with your airway completely blocked.

Dragging both of you downstairs, and outside, you could hear Claudia running.

“I fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper. I never once harmed either of you,” he said.

“Let him go,” you cried, hoarsely, trying to claw at his hand, while reaching for Louis.

“Silence,” he told you.

“Uncle Les”

“It's Uncle Les, now suddenly?”

“Let them go, they didn't do nothin’, let them go, it's me you want,” you could hear her steps approaching.

“Listen to me, and listen very carefully my infant death, it was never you. No matter how much your mama made you think otherwise,” he spat, crushing your throat, and dragging you both out into the road.

“I chose you, and you, given you the dark gift and you've betrayed me,” he said, biting into your neck, draining almost every ounce of blood from your body, before throwing you, watching as you flew into the backyard, colliding with bricks, you could feel your rib cage shatter.

However, as you stood up, you quickly fell to your knees in pain and fear for Louis’s life, watching as they flew into the sky to the point where they were no longer seen.

“Mama, are you alright?” Claudia ran to you, reaching for her hand, your other hand on your throat. You couldn't speak, Lestat’s nails had managed to pierce through. Claudia gasped, as you coughed, blood spilling out.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

“I’m okay, we just need to get Louis,” she said, helping you stand, however, just as you stood, Louis fell from the sky, hitting the ground. Limping over, you were afraid to touch him, the slightest touch looked as if it would break him even more.

Crying, you looked up, staring into Lestat’s eyes as he flew over you all, not saying a word. You couldn't say it, but from your expression, there was no way you could easily forgive him after this.

Healing was a struggle, not just from the physical damage, but any previous trust was gone. While you managed to bounce back within a few months, Louis had a long way to go. Lestat skipped town and hadn't bothered to show his face.

You avoided thinking about him, altogether. Dedicating yourself to Claudia and Louis, from coffin-bound to limping, every day was progress. Louis was slowly getting better and you both worked on strengthing your bond with Claudia. Then the calls started coming.

All of this time, you managed to push through the soreness and pain, but the moment he called you hid away, licking your eternal wounds. He was a completely different person that night, the things he said, the things he'd done. After Louis fully healed, you were no longer opposed to the idea of leaving for Europe with Claudia.

Hearing the doorbell ringing, you turned your head, watching as Claudia went outside. You could hear his voice, he had gifts, and he wanted to talk, to apologize. Louis went upstairs, throwing his coffin out of the window, you couldn't help but snicker.

“There’s your answer”

“And where is Y/n? I know she would enjoy these paints, they are rare. I paid quite a price because I knew she would make the most beautiful-

“My mama ain't got nothin’ to say to you, like you said, she betrayed you, choosing me,” she told him, shutting the door, and locking it.

Coming back to the living room, she glanced your way before to Louis, who came from upstairs. As Louis sat next to you, you pulled him close.

“You okay?” you asked him.

“Getting there,” he mumbled, smiling as you kissed his cheek.

Lestat didn't show his face anymore, but the gifts never stopped. Each time more spontaneous than the next, and while you knew, Louis was becoming weaker, you wished you could say the same for yourself.

“Emily Dickinson is not a vampire,” Louis said, as you laughed.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Because she is dead,” you pointed out.

“How do you know?”

“She got a grave,” Louis said.

“And a tombstone,” you added.

“So do you,” She told Louis, all of you laughing, afterward.

As you crossed the streets, the driver honked their horn, as they slowly came to a stop in front of you. Opening the door, Lestat climbed out, smiling at you all. Rolling your eyes, you simply looked the other way.

“25 horsepower Rolls-Royce six-cylinder engine and a front end they call a coffin nose, is that rich? This one’s yours, mine’s back at home in blue,” he said, showing off the new car, and tossing the keys to Louis.

“I know how much you despise driving, so I got you other things, the finest fabrics, books, art supplies, and music, waiting for you at home, I'm back in town permanently,” he continued, looking your way, but you just stared off to the side, as if you didn't see him.

“Were you gone?” Claudia asked him.

“Across the river, in Algiers,” he said, you could still feel his eyes on the two of you.

“You know who lives in Algiers” Claudia said to you, as you clenched your jaw.

“I don't know what possessed me that night,” he said.

“Three years ago, that night, three years ago, he means,” Claudia corrected him.

“I was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. I’m nothing without you. I’m nothing without any of you”

“If you want me to go away, just say so. I’ll obey you. I’ll leave your lives forever. This silence is cruel, all I ask is that Y/n looks at me. You haven't spared me a glance since I've been here. Neither of you were ever cruel, don't let our situation change you,” he said.

“Just look at him,” Louis pleaded.

Turning to face him, he cleared his throat, straightening his posture. You didn't say anything, emotionlessly staring at him.

“You look stunning as always, ma chérie,” he complimented, his heart breaking as you looked away again.

Taking the keys, Claudia threw them, before scratching the car, reaching for your hand, walking away.

Six years, came and went, and more gifts flooded the house. It was unspoken between you and Louis that you both missed him. Although it looked different, Louis wanted him to come running back, each extravagant, but sentimental gift was tugging more and more at Louis’s heart. You preferred the distance, reminiscing on the past, before that night. You didn't think you could have that back, now, you secretly enjoyed every time he saw you, or wrote to you, begging that you would acknowledge him.

Unexpectedly, it happened, the record came in the mail and was immediately played. The song meant to win you both back while pissing you off, a song sung by his affair partner. Louis was seething, grabbing the record, and ran out of the house.

“You're not going with him?” Claudia asked.

“They will be back,” you mumbled, knowing his plan worked, he got through to Louis and would be coming back.

“Rule number four-

“Kill Antoinette”

“Antoinette is my own private-

“Affair,” Claudia said.

“Said child, interfering in the romantic lives of her parents,” Lestat said, wanting one of you to stop her. She had been sharp with him since the moment he stepped into the house.

“She will be 33 soon, far from a child,” you reminded him, rolling your eyes.

“It’s a lick and a promise in vampire years,” he shrugged.

“Maybe, but I am not your child anymore, that's rule number five,” Claudia said, catching his attention.

His eyes shifted from her to you, your interlocked hands. She had you, wrapped around her fingers, taken from him. Louis was more willing to work on the broken relationship, but you had shut him out, choosing your child.

“I’ll be your companion, your sister,” she told him, as he scoffed.

“It's not as simple as choosing a new family configuration, now I'm your cousin, now I'm your aunt, I am your maker,” he told her rudely.

“I’m going to bed,” you said, standing abruptly, he looked into your cold eyes, searching for any emotion.

“Will you not lay down your rules, as well?” he asked, sarcastically.

“Good night,” was all you said, turning away, going upstairs.

“She needs time,” you could hear Louis say.

Did you need more time? You didn't go through nearly as much as Louis and he managed to forgive him, why couldn't you? You were never maternal until Claudia came along, perhaps it came with being a mother. The way that he treated her, turned you against him. As much as you loved him, thinking back to the times you were spoiled, lavished as if you were royalty, you couldn't bring yourself to open up.

Hunting became insufferable. Louis began drinking human blood, it was supposed to bring everyone closer, hunting as a family, but you kept your distance. He knew he'd wounded you, his choice of words hurting you just as bad, and he'd have to be more persistent to win you back.

“I wished you’d look at me, the simplest glance would help me a great deal,” he said, following you, sighing in relief as you faced him.

“Happy?”

“You have my heart at your will, your precious words command me, and I would do anything you ask of me,” he said, trying to fight the tears, as you slowly approached him.

“Take up your heart, I wouldn't want you to feel betrayed when I don't choose you,” you said, turning around, leaving him to stand there and try to gather his emotions.

“Could you at least try to compromise?” Louis asked you, as you looked through the different fabrics in the store.

“I am-

“No, you're not, you put your coffin in Claudia’s room, and the other night, whatever you said, he cried himself to sleep”

“Aw, poor baby,” you said, placing the fabrics into Louis’ arms.

“You agreed that we would work things out, everybody is compromising trying to work through our problems, we need you too,” he said, pouting, as you approached the cash register.

“Fine, I hate when you give me that look,” you playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“Thank you, I love you,” you grinned.

“I love you,” you laughed, pecking his lips.

Later that night, after putting away your things, and changing into your nightgown, you were about to into Claudia’s room, when you stopped. Huffing, you went to your shared bedroom, opening the door.

“Did she say anything? I left a note, but she never responds,” Lestat grumbled.

“I talked with her, but it is up to her to make a decision,” Louis said.

“I hope you don't expect us to squeeze that coffin,” you said, making both of them face you.

“We could always sleep in the bed,” Louis offered, both of them approaching you.

‘Thank you’ he said, as you faced Lestat.

“Will you keep that stupid look on your face, or will you speak?” you asked.

“I didn't know it was okay for me to do so,” he chuckled.

“Y/n is willing to compromise, she hasn't said it verbally, but she does still love you,” Louis spoke, as you stared at the two of them.

“Ma chérie, if I could take back what I've said, what I’ve done-

“But you can't”

“I can't, and I will have to live with the burden of knowing I hurt you and Louis both, your role in Claudia’s life was never a problem, I am sorry, my love,” he said, walking to you, falling to his knees in front of you. His head laid against your stomach, and he continued to apologize profusely.

“To have you look at me, after months of refusal, even if it is a look of anger, is to see heaven,” he said, looking up at you. Reaching for his hand, you helped him stand, pecking his lips. Holding your hand out for Louis, as soon as he was close enough, your lips were on his soft skin.

Pushing Lestat onto the bed, you straddled his lap, rolling your hips, as Louis stood behind you, kissing your neck. Leaning down, you wrapped your hands around his neck.

“I’ll forgive you, but if you ever do anything remotely similar, I’ll make sure you burn in the sun, and I’ll wear you as makeup,” you said, making him smirk.

“Anything you say, although the thought of me being on your face, arouses me greatly,” he said, watching as you pulled Louis onto the bed, moving over to him.

Your nearly decade-long monogamy had now come to an end, sharing the night with Louis and Lestat. You had forgotten how spontaneous he was, managing to pleasure both of you.

‘Have you taken him back, like Louis?’ Claudia asked.

‘For now’ you thought, as Lestat kissed along your shoulder blade.

‘Do you think Louis will help?’

‘He will’

‘Do you think it will work?’

‘I don't know, my child, but we will try’

‘We can do it, mama, he wants to keep you and Louis for himself, he hates me and would probably kill me if it meant having you both alone’

‘I know’

Now lying in bed, Lestat in between you and Louis, both of you in his arms.

“I hope you will allow me to continue to prove myself to you, and I am lost without either of you, I feel empty without you both here with me, I love you,” he spoke, you couldn't deny the way your heart fluttered.

“Then it is official, we will kill Lestat’

‘And if our plan doesn't work?’

‘Then we escape to Europe, we find other vampires, and we rebuild our lives there, does that sound okay?”

‘It sounds perfect’

‘Great, good night mama’

‘Good night, my child’

Looking up at Lestat’s face, he lay peacefully, his eyes shut, face relaxed. He was incredibly handsome, you didn't dare tell Claudia but coming to this room, you were just as weak as Louis. Would you be able to kill this beautiful man, the love of your life? Or run away and live an eternity with your daughter? You couldn't decide anymore, only time would tell.

brotha eughhh, this was so mid

[elysianightsss]

Can we get more with Price? 🥺 Pleeeeeeeeeease? Pretty please?

Hells yes. More price thots🥰

Price loves when you first wake up, all sleepy and mumbling fivemoreminuets just to get that extra bit of shut eye. He just adores how limp and pliant you are, barely able to squeeze your own fists together so early in the morning. And fuck you’re so warm, his cold hands caressing your skin in an attempt to heat them up a bit.

You’re so sweet with your eyes closed, eyelashes almost touching your cheeks, mouth slight open and he pretends not to notice the little bit of drool on your pillow. He’s too busy admiring the rest of you anyways.

You’re stretched out on the bed on your back, arm lazily thrown above your head and the other over your stomach. Your legs are a little skewwiff, one almost straight and the other bent at the knee almost hanging off the bed. He chuckles at how you can find the position so comfortable that you’d want to be in it for five more minutes.

And those five minutes turn into ten, then into fifteen and suddenly he remembers that he’s got the guys coming over for breakfast in an hour. He could leave you to sleep, but you’d been so excited to see them when he told you. It has been a while. Price’s brilliant mind comes up with a plan and admittedly it’s not a very good one. It would probably make you even more tired but who can say for sure eh? He can.

Focused blue eyes move down your sleeping figure to where your pretty legs are parted, not nearly enough space for his large body to be, but he’s sure he can work something out. And he does, hooking his fingers around the material of your underwear, he pulls them down your legs throwing them somewhere in the bedroom and blows on your cunt.

Grinning as you twitch in your sleep, he licks a stripe up your pussy and moans at the sweet taste of you, watching your hips buck from the sensation. “Fuck yeah darlin, buck your hips like that.” Price groans, voice rough, watching you react to his actions, licking another stripe up you but using his thick tongue to swirl around your aching clit. He can feel himself hard and straining against his boxers, throbbing cock pressing against the mattress. He fights the urge to rut into the sheets.

Sinking his tongue inside you with his nose purposely rubbing against your clit, Price loops his hands around your thighs pulling you apart for deeper access. At this point you stirred, eyes blinking open to find your ruggedly handsome husband between your legs, tongue buried inside you. You moaned instantly not only feeling the pleasure but at how fucking hot it was to wake up to this, to being eaten out and so thoroughly too. “Yeah let me hear you, nice and loud for me sweetheart.”

“Fuck John oh my god!” You whined your hips bucking and squirming, he knew your body so well, and it didn’t take long for him to get you there. He knew exactly how to fuck you just right, tongue, fingers, cock, it didn’t matter. He could make you cum so easy and fuck he loves it.

“Such a hot messy cunt rubbing all over m’face.” Price groaned, blue eyes staring into yours holding you there, paralysing you under his gaze, “come on darlin, be a good girl and make a mess on my face.”

[silentglassbreak]

hi bestie is it too late to request? you said you liked writing angst, well, i love reading it 💔💔painfully unrequited love!!!!! gimme gimme

friends with benefits with (overly affectionate!!!!) Noah and reader who falls sick to her stomach head over heels in love with him. blurring the lines between sex and love.

going to a bad omens concert however long after and it’s like they’re strangers oOF rip my heart out and stomp on it idc. been listening to Novocaine on a loop all day. i’m not okay

feel to totally disregard if you’re not feeling it angel <33 thank you bby I love your writing 🥺🥺

Angst............. UGH I've been WAITING babes. My goal is to rip your heart out...fair fucking warning. MMMLOVEYOUUUUU. After Writing Notes: I'm the actual worst. I hope you don't hate it!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, heartbreak, lots and lots of angst

Can You Feel My Heart

Love languages are such a strange concept, aren't they? That seems to be a fairly new idea that someone came up with in the last decade or so?

If you like to buy love...your love language is gifting.

If you can't communicate well...your love language is affection.

If the only way you know how to show feelings is with sex...your love language is intimacy.

At what point are we allowed to call someone out for being a dick? At what point are we allowed to confront the fact that someone is skipping around the idea of commitment, and ask them to just admit what they really want?

This wasn't the first time these thoughts had danced around my head, in the wee hours of the morning, while Noah's arm laid heavy across my waist, him snoozing behind me.

Noah and I had been friends since we were seven years old. We met on the playground at the park in the center of the neighborhood of our small town in West Virginia. He told me he liked my butterfly hair clips, and I let him have the blue one. He wore it in his hair every day for three weeks.

He grew up in a broken home, only his Mom around most of his years, and even then - that relationship was...strained. So many nights he had snuck into my bedroom window, curling up next to me, tears free falling down his cheeks. We never talked about why, but it didn't take a psychic to figure it out.

He moved in with his Grandmother when he was fourteen, and even though he lived in the next town over, he still made it a point to take the city bus to me every day after school, even when he dropped out.

We were never more than twin flames, incapable of existing without each other, moral support for the other during any type of hardship. Looking back, I guess that was what built our serious dependence issues.

"I can't live without you, Y/N. I'll die if I ever lose you."

"No you won't Noah, don't be stupid."

He was stupid. As stupid as they come, because when I turned eighteen, and started college, he had paid one of his friends to drive him all the way up to Columbus to see me. He showed up at the door of my dorm, drunk and broken, blathering on about how only having been away from me for a week had killed him, and he needed to see me.

That was the first night he kissed me, and I let him.

As most people do when having grown up with someone so closely, I had developed an attachment to Noah very early on. I first recognized it when he turned twelve, and started skateboarding. He would insist on trying to teach me how, despite my undeniable clumsiness. His hands would grip my hips, his face so close to my ear, and his chest pressed to my back. He would talk in this deep voice, his puberty hitting early. I was awe-struck.

He was my best friend, sure. But he belonged to me, that's what he always said.

Even when he had girlfriends, I always came first. Dates would get cancelled for me; plans changed. Hell, he even blew off one girl whose birthday fell on the same day as mine. I was his priority. I was his person.

So when he leaned in to me, sitting on the edge of my mattress in the dorm, liquor stained-breath against my face, I just closed my eyes and let it happen.

He spent the night with me, and had to leave early. Vowing to come back, he never broke his word.

There he was the following weekend, sober this time, with snacks, DVDs, and a week’s worth of clothes. I managed to hide him in my room for four days before the dorm advisor caught him.

The second day he was there was the first time we had sex. I was a virgin, and he was not. That hurt me, sure. Not enough to deny him what was rightfully his. I belonged to Noah, body and soul. He took his time, walked me through it, and gave me the best possible experience I could expect. It hurt, and it was weird, but a sense of relief washed over me.

We had finally crossed that threshold. We had sex three times that week, until he was forced to leave.

That's when the words left his mouth.

"We need to talk."

That conversation broke something inside of me. He loved me, but he didn't love me. He was honored to have been allowed to give me something so meaningful, but he could never see me as more than his best friend. Our friendship was too important, and he wouldn't even allow himself to entertain the idea of jeopardizing that. He had made up his mind, and he couldn't have feelings for me.

It was with the heaviest heart imaginable, I sucked back my tears, painted an easy smile on my face, and held his hands in mine.

"I totally understand, Noah. No worries! We can just have fun, you know?"

And that was it. We were stuck in this sick, frozen place for the last two years. I was about to finish my Associates in Columbus, and hoped to become pre-med at Boston U, but Noah didn't know that yet. I could never figure out how to tell him.

Noah Davis was this heavy, bright flame that I was desperately afraid to extinguish. He had formed a band right after our arrangement began, and he was twenty-four hours away from leaving on their first major tour that would take him around the entire country, and then across the Atlantic to Europe.

How could I tell him that while he was gone, I was likely moving even further, and starting my life without him?

I didn't want to live without him, but he was leaving, and I couldn't sit and wait forever...

I breathed out a sigh, the light beginning to stream in the window of my one-bedroom apartment. He needed to wake up, drive home, and make sure he was ready to leave tomorrow. It was only 6AM, so I knew he'd be cranky, but I couldn't put this off any longer.

“Noah?” I breathed out his name. He groaned in response. “You’ve got to get up. You have to get ready to head home.”

"Mm, ten more minutes." I rolled my eyes, and began sliding out from underneath him.

His arm locked, and held me in place. I giggled, and saw as he turned his face, one eye cracking open. "Don't get up. It's too early."

I narrowed my eyes. "I have class at 8AM."

Noah used his strength against me, pulling my body to him and holding me tight so I couldn't get up. This only made me laugh louder.

"You don't need to get up for another hour."

"Not if I want to shower."

He sighed into the pillow. "So crazy, cause I don't think you do."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, you've got to get home. Nick will kill us both if you're not ready in time."

"I'm not scared of her." He smirked, and I smacked his arm.

"Shut up. And get off me!"

He stuck his bottom lip out, pouting heavily.

"Not going to work. C'mon." I wriggled hard enough to break his grip, and sat up, stretching my arms over my head. He sat up as well, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

I pulled a robe over myself, turning to look at him as he scrolled through his phone, checking messages.

"Coffee?" I asked, and he threw a thumbs up at me.

I left the room, headed for the kitchen, trying to keep my breathing even. I had very little time left.

Filling the pot with water, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, his face burying in my neck.

"I don't want to go. I'm going to miss you so much."

I leaned into the touch, taking anything I could at this point. "I know. I'll miss you more."

He scoffed. "Not a chance."

Holding me for a few more moments, he let go to head to the fridge, pulling out the bagels and cream cheese, and plopping down at the dining table. I continued my work of preparing our coffee.

"Hey, uh," I started, keeping my voice as calm as I could. "there's something I wanted to chat with you about."

I turned around, two hot mugs in my hand. He was spreading the cream on a bagel, already having prepared one for me. I sat next to him at the table.

"What's up?" He didn't look up at me.

"I told you I had been trying to decide where to start medical school?" He just nodded in response. "Well, I find out today if I got into Boston."

He halted, his eyes snapping up to me. "Boston?"

I took a sip of coffee. "They've got the best med program on the East coast-"

He cut me off. "Since when were you looking on the East coast?"

His tone was darkening. This was going to go about as well as I expected.

"Since I realized I had a chance. Noah, my GPA and scholar program gives me a real shot."

He grit his teeth, setting his bagel down. "Boston is far, Y/N."

I kept calm, setting my mug down as well. "I know."

"So, why would you want to be so far away?"

"Well, you're going far too, Noah. Your first show is in San Diego."

He sat back in his chair. "Yeah, but the last one puts me right back here in Columbus for a month before I go overseas."

I nodded. "I know. I'll still be here, then. You get back six weeks before the end of the semester."

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't go to Boston."

There was a finality to his tone, and something about it made my insides flinch with irritation.

"Oh no? And if I do?"

"You can't."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Can't? And since when do you tell me what I can and can't do?"

He rolled his eyes, standing from the table and walking over to the trash, binning the half of his bagel he didn't eat. "We can't be that far away from each other."

Lifting my eyebrows, I stood as well, crossing my arms. "And why is that, Noah?"

He leaned back against the counter. "Y/N, you know why."

"What? So you have someone to fuck whenever you want? Whenever one of your little groupies isn't around?"

His eyes popped open, then. "What?"

"You heard me." My tone was deadly, matching my stare at him.

"You really think the only reason I want you close is because of the sex?" He seemed truly stunned.

"Well, why else would you want me around?" I threw my hands up, walking back down the hallway toward my bedroom. I could hear his footfall behind me. I just continued, stepping into the closet to get dressed.

"What is that supposed to mean? I always want you around."

Rolling my eyes, I clasped my bra on and popped my head out to look at him. "Noah, I'm convenient for you. Unless you have any other valid reasons to keep coming over, I don't know why else it matters."

His jaw dropped open. "That is not true."

Pulling my shirt on, I scoffed. "Please, dude. Spare me the act, okay?"

"What act?"

I pulled my jeans on, buttoning them before stepping out to face him again. "The 'you're my person, and I can't lose you' act." I quoted myself. Something about that pissed him off, because he crossed his own arms and stared me down.

"The fuck are you getting at, Y/N?"

I shook my head, brushing past him, and walked toward the bathroom.

"Noah," I turned to look directly at him. "we've been at this for years. It's kind of old, don't you think?"

His face softened slightly. "We had an agreement."

I nodded. "You're right, we did. Just sex, for the sake of our friendship. That's what you wanted."

"I thought that's what we wanted."

Waving a hand between us, I took a step toward him. "Oh no, Noah. That's what you wanted. Not me."

He was silent, then.

"I wanted more. I always have. I thought that had become clear over the years, but I fucking guess not." I could hear my voice raising a few octaves. "You didn't give me a choice. You came in, broke that boundary, and then put it right back up again. And I stayed, just so I wouldn't lose you."

I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes.

His voice came out small, then, his hands now buried in his pockets.

"What do you want from me, Y/N?"

I sighed, letting one tear escape. "I want you to love me."

He pulled his hands out, stepping toward me and taking one of mine. I let him.

"I do love you!"

I stared at him, my teeth ground together. "Do you? The way I love you?"

Noah was a lot of things. He was brilliant, funny, generous, dedicated. He had the most redeeming qualities of anyone I knew.

And sure, he could be stupid. But not that stupid.

He had known how I felt about him. Of course he did. That was why I kissed him every chance I got. Why I always let him in. Why I never dated anyone else. Why I stayed all this time.

But here? In this moment? He was the biggest idiot I knew, because he dropped my hand, his eyes falling with it, and took a step backward.

"I..." He huffed out a breath, looking back up at my tear-stained face. "I can't. I'm sorry."

I averted my eyes, then. I could feel myself breaking, crumbling right before him.

"You need to leave, Noah."

I could feel he wanted to pull back to me, like a moon in orbit of a planet. Gravity. But he didn't. He just stepped back toward the doorway.

"What does this mean?" I heard his voice, but wouldn't meet his eyes.

I sniffed hard, trying like hell to keep myself upright.

"It means you go on tour. Be who you are, Noah. And I'll be who I am. Without each other."

His body shifted, but I was stone, unmoving.

"I can't lose you." I heard him let out a light, sarcastic laugh. "I'll die."

I let myself laugh at that.

"No you won't, Noah. Don't be stupid."

7 Years Later

Residency is going to kill me. I may actually die in pursuit of this God awful career I've chosen. I was three years in to a five year program, intending to finish in General Practice, but until that time, I was just an idiotic twenty-seven year-old with no life, no sleep, and no clean fucking clothes to wear.

Every resident gets exactly forty-eight hours of paid time off every three months, and I had not taken mine in over a year. I finally had taken all of my hours - six days total - off of work, and after spending the entire first day sleeping, I was due to meet with Raylene in an hour.

Ray and I met at the beginning of residency, and quickly gotten close. We managed to find an affordable apartment together within walking distance of the hospital, and spent any rare free time we had together. She was currently at her boyfriend's place, spending some much needed time with him, before we went out for the evening.

I was digging through my unfolded laundry, trying to find something not too wrinkled or stained to wear tonight. Ray had told me we were going to a concert for a band she had recently discovered, but she didn't tell me who it was. I didn't care, to be honest. Existing somewhere other than the Emergency Room or my own bed sounded heavenly.

Finally settling on a deep red cropped t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and the Vans I rarely got to wear, I straightened my hair and applied what little makeup I could. I set out of the building to the waiting vehicle downstairs, Ray practically hanging from the passenger window.

"You look so fine!"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Sure. Like I might've slept in the last two weeks?"

She chortled back at me, leaning in her seat once I was in the car. I waved hello to her boyfriend Sean, and gazed at Ray.

"So, Tyler isn't coming."

She frowned at me. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "Said he had a case he was working on, and he really couldn't spare the time."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical lawyer. Too busy for anyone but his clients."

Tyler and I had been dating for about six months now. Maintaining a relationship while having jobs as busy as ours was difficult, but he somehow managed to work it out. He would pop in when he knew I had breaks to bring me food, or have me spend nights off at his place, massaging my neck and helping me get caught up on my favorite series. He was an honest man. A good man.

I liked him.

Right?

It's so hard to tell what's like and what's convenient when you live your life exhausted and overworked, so I didn't have a lot of time to question it.

"Bummer for him. I'm so excited to see this show!" Ray was beaming in the front seat.

"Yeah, who are we seeing, anyway?"

"A band called ERRA. They're opening for a bigger headliner, who I've heard are pretty good too."

I nodded. "I've never heard them."

"It's rock. Metal, really." Sean chimed in, and I acknowledged him silently, looking out of the window.

My mind zoned out while we drove to the House of Blues. Ray and Sean chatted idly up front, but I was just enjoying the fact that I was finally out of the house for once.

That is, until we walked into the venue. The banner poster stared at me, the photographs of the band mocking me...

Bad Omens...they were the headliner.

Memories flooded back to my brain, my insides clenching at the visions.

I hadn't spoken to him since that day...that last day in my apartment. When he left, and never looked back. I didn't even keep in touch with the rest of the guys, for fear that I would be sucked back into the maelstrom that was Noah Davis...

“Y/N?” I turned to see Ray stood behind me, noticing my reaction. “You okay?”

My mind wasn’t comprehending what I was seeing. There’s no way that was them? The last time I had heard of the band, they were one-of-four supporting bands on much larger headliners. Now, they were selling out tickets at their own tour? Seven years was a long time…but how had they gotten this popular?

I wondered this, as if I didn’t know how wildly talented those boys were. Aside from Noah, Nicky, Jolly, and Nick Folio were some of the most intelligent and creative minds I had known. They all brought something special to that band, but I would have never expected this.

Huh. Guess he could live without me after all?

Something bitter crept into the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down, staring at his photograph on the poster.

“Yeah,” I tore my eyes away for a second to look at Raylene. “sorry, I’m fine. Just didn’t realize Bad Omens was the headliner.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve heard of them?”

I pulled my lips to the side. Did I want to tell her?

“Long time ago.”

I couldn’t get past how different he looked in the picture. Last time I saw Noah, his hair was halfway down his back, he was skinny, and he had the thinnest little mustache growing on his upper lip.

In these promo pictures, however, his hair was short, not even reaching his ears, he looked much more muscular, and he had no facial hair. He also had many more tattoos than I remembered. That wasn’t surprising. Noah was a tattoo addict from a very young age.

Jolly had let his hair grow and had the cutest goatee on his chin. Nicky looked almost exactly the same. And Nick, bless his heart, had grown into such a handsome guy. They all looked so grown, so serious and broody. It almost made me giggle, knowing how goofy these guys were in real life.

Noah looked the most stunningly different from the rest. Not only did his entire appearance change, but his eyes…something in them was just so much darker. That harsh flame I had once known was so dim. It almost hurt to see. Almost.

We were making our way out to the pit of the GA floor. I had decided to get myself a cocktail to take the edge off. I didn't plan to come face-to-face with him, and likely wouldn't even get the opportunity to get a good look at him period, but still...just knowing we were in the same room made my throat tighten. I washed it down with Vodka and cranberry juice, hoping the warmth of the liquor would unfreeze my nerves.

The first band, Invent Animate, was entertaining enough. Very interactive with the crowd and high-energy. I found it pleasant, but couldn't get myself to focus long enough to notice what they were singing about. I struggled to breathe, the set ending, and knowing I was one hour closer to seeing his face.

During the intermission, Ray excused herself to the restroom, and I stood with Sean, feeling dizzier as the moments passed.

"Hey, I think I'm going to step out for a second. Get some air."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You okay? Want me to come with?"

I shook my head. "Nah, don't want you to miss the band you guys came to see. I'll be back."

He nodded, patting me on the shoulder before I weaved in and out of the crowd. I discarded my plastic cup in a trash can before exiting out into the main lobby. I found a spot on the wall near the doors that was unoccupied, and leaned against it, letting my eyes close and my breathing even out.

When I opened my eyes, I searched the room, looking for nothing specific. I landed on the merch tables, and saw someone oddly familiar talking to the lead singer of the last band we had watched...

The liquid courage is what carried me in that direction, smiling to myself.

He stood with his hair pulled back, as usual, and was talking with his hands. Same as he always did.

"Nicky Ruffilo..." I said loud enough to hopefully catch his attention, my hands now grasping the edge of the table.

His head snapped over to look at me, his brows knit together curiously. I could tell he was putting it together.

"No fucking way..." His voice sounded the same as it always had. "Y/N?!"

My teeth flashed at him, and he circled the table to approach me, his arms pulling me into a tight hug.

"Jesus Christ, I didn't recognize you!" That was fair.

Since the last time I had seen any of the guys, I had bleached my hair a pale blonde, lost twenty-five pounds, and had grown two cup sizes. I was, for all intents and purposes, an entirely different person.

"Yeah, well I absolutely recognized you." I said as I gripped his shirt, squeezing him tight.

"How long has it been?" He asked, pulling back to look at me.

"Uh," I thought for a moment. "seven-ish years?"

Nick's eyes were in disbelief, an amazed leer on his face. "God damn, girl. I can't believe it."

I pointed to the banner above his head. "Headlining now, huh? That's amazing!"

He smiled, proudly. "Yeah, we've worked really hard. A lot's changed."

My eyes fell on Noah's face on the poster. "I can see that."

I could tell he was pondering, a question hanging on the edge of his tongue. It was the most obvious question, so I answered for him.

"He doesn't know I'm here."

He nodded, leaning an arm on the table comfortably. "Ah, okay. You didn't want him to?"

I snorted. "I didn't even know I'd be here. My friends came to see ERRA, and that's when I realized you guys were here."

"Makes sense." He had crossed his arms. "Do you want him to know?"

Contemplating this, I let my face fall to get away from his gaze. I wasn't certain how to answer that, but it seemed like the answer was clear regardless.

"No." I sighed hard. "It's probably for the best that he doesn't, right?"

I couldn't read Nick's face, if he was disappointed or relieved. He seemed to be pretty satisfied with my answer, but I could tell he had more he wished he could say.

"Fair enough." Was all he gave me, before letting out a breath. "So, you still live up here?"

I let my muscles relax for a second. "Yeah, doing a residency at Brigham right now."

"Residency? Does that mean you're a doctor?" He asked, clearly confused.

I cackled at this. "Yeah, full blown doctor. Got the little 'MD' after my name and everything."

He beamed at me. "That's so great! Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Nicky." It fell quiet between us once again, and I could hear ERRA's set beginning. "Well, I should probably-"

He spoke over me. "Yeah! Those guys put on a great show. Don't miss it!"

I gave him another hug, reveling in how warm he still felt.

Turning to walk away, I stopped, needing one last thing...

"Nick?"

His face turned back to me.

"How is he?"

I could see the sadness fall over his tan features, and I instantly regretted asking.

"He's..." He trailed off, taking in a large breath. "He's different, Y/N. I doubt you'd recognize him."

"How so?"

Something about my question almost seemed to annoy him. Odd?

"Like I said, a lot has changed. He's changed. He had to." He gestured to me. "Same way you did."

I accepted this, not wanting to press any further. "Thanks, Nick."

He pointed a finger at me. "Hey, we're going to be back here in the fall for a couple days. Don't be a stranger, okay?" I grinned at this. "I know Jolly and Folio would kill to see you."

I just nodded, turning and walking away. My eyes met with Ray's, who was standing, watching my interaction. How much had she seen? Did she hear anything?

"Hey, what are you doing? You're missing ERRA!"

Her brows were pulled up suspiciously. "Who was that?" She pointed after Nick, who had now disappeared from the merch table.

I shook my head. "Oh, that guy? He's the bassist in the headliner band."

This wasn't good enough for her, I could tell by the way she pursed her lips. "Uh-huh. And...you just decided to chat him up like old friends?"

I groaned. "Ugh, how long were you standing there?"

She put all her weight on one hip. "Long enough to see you two talking like you've known each other before. Care to explain?"

Raylene was so nosey. She came by it honestly, her father being a police detective. But still, why did this matter?

"It's not a big deal, Ray. I'll tell you later."

I pulled on her arm, trying to lead her back to the concert hall, but she stood firm, eyeing me. I sucked my teeth in frustration.

"Damn it, alright, come here."

She followed me to the doors leading outside, and we stepped into the cool air.

"Alright, look, I've known Nick since I was ten."

Her eyes jumped. "Oh? Back in West Virginia?"

I nodded. "Exactly. I had no idea their band was going to be here."

"Do you know anyone else in the band?"

I glanced around, feeling wildly uncomfortable by the conversation.

"I may know the entire band."

Her eyes exploded, nearly shooting out of her face cartoonistically.

"What?! The whole band?" I just nodded. "Jesus, Y/N. That's insane!"

I giggled. "I guess. It's just a coincidence."

She smiled at me. "Well that's awesome! Do you want to see the rest of them after? They're doing a free merch signing."

Panic filled my chest, and I put a hand out to grab her shoulder. "No, no. I don't, uh..." I tried to keep my voice solid. "I don't keep in touch with them anymore."

Her eyes narrowed. "Oh? Okay, if you're sure." Something in my voice must have made her feel my anxiety.

We turned, ready to make our way back inside.

"It is too bad. The lead singer's a real looker. I heard one of the girls in the crowd say his name was Noah Sebastian? He's pretty cute."

I almost walked straight into the door, my foot banging off of the pillar. Ray turned around to see me, and something about the look on my face made realization flash over her.

"Oh my God, are you ok-" She stopped dead, eyes widening again. "Wait..."

"Ray, don't." I knew what she had figured out.

"Noah..." I put my hands up, glancing around to ensure no one was looking at us. "As in...Noah? Your old best friend?!"

I shushed her harshly. "Please, Ray. I don't want to think about this."

"That's the guy?! Noah Sebastian is the guy that broke your heart?!"

I was going to actually vomit at that.

"Fuck! Can we not?!" I raised my voice, which made her snap her mouth closed. "Besides, I don't know a Noah Sebastian."

She looked confused. "Is that not his real name?"

I rolled my eyes, turning to walk back in. "It's his middle name."

I spaced out most of what was left of ERRA's set, just trying to put the pieces back together in my brain. This night had not turned into what I had hoped.

I just wanted one night, an easy night, to take a deep breath away from my hectic life. Instead, I was reliving some of my most painful memories, and had a headache to go right along with it from the alcohol. My chest vibrated, the bass just making it so much more difficult to focus.

I stood off of the GA floor, near the bar area, not even realizing the band had finished, and people were swarming to grab drinks and use the restrooms before the men of the evening appeared. Ray approached me, another Vodka cran in her hand, and pushed it into mine.

"Here my love, drink this." I took a long gulp of it. "Do you want us to go? We don't have to stay..."

My eyes were fixed on the stage, where I could see people setting up the equipment. "No." I huffed out a breath, and squeezed my cup. "No, I want to see them play, I think."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're sure? This can't be easy for you."

My eyes burned into her face, which almost made her flinch. "I may never get to see him again, Ray. I have to."

She just nodded, arm linking with mine. "You want to watch from up here?"

I nodded, crunching on a piece of ice from my drink. "No chance of him spotting me back here."

She affirmed my request, and leaned back against the wall with me.

I felt my phone vibrate, and I pulled it from my pocket to see Tyler's name on the screen.

Tyler: Hey beautiful! How's the show?

I held my breath. What kind of a question was that?

Me: Fine. Almost over, just one band left.

He didn't take but a minute to respond.

Tyler: Having fun?

Ha, what a joke.

Me: Yeah. I've had some drinks, so it's helping.

Tyler: Well, enjoy it baby! You deserve it.

That wasn't fair. None of it was. Having to see Noah? The fact that I had an amazing guy, who genuinely liked me, who waited for me. But I still couldn't get my mind off of that irritatingly beautiful face about to take the stage.

The lights went down, and I felt myself tense, throwing back the rest of my drink. My teeth were numb, if that made any sense at all. Ray's hand gripped mine tight, holding me up.

A cinematic scene played on the screens, but I wasn't watching, eyes hastily searching the stage.

A tall man, who I instantly recognized as Jolly, stepped center-stage, a guitar in his hand playing the opening riff to the song. It was heavy, deep and soul shaking.

Folio came out next, his face, like Jolly's, covered in a black ski mask.

Nick took his spot, playing his bass tones.

And then, as the opening crescendoed, a voice rang through the speakers.

A voice I'd never forget.

"Can you hear me through the white noise?"

He blasted onto the stage, glory and all, face covered and thick black jacket on his shoulders.

He sounded different. Angry. Raw, Aggressive. The feeling that sank in my stomach pulled me back further against the wall.

The song played through, his words pulsing through my veins.

As quick as it had started, it was over, and we were on to the next.

The next track was calmer, red lights glowing all throughout the stage.

They had all removed their masks, and I saw his face for the first time. He looked so much older, making it difficult for me to believe he was the same person.

The words of the song resonated deep in my thoughts.

"I don't want to know all your secrets, cause I'll tell. It's hard enough being alone with myself. I don't know how long I'll be holding on..."

Breathing deeply, I watched as the crowd moved with the music, electrifying the energy in the room. It was intoxicating.

Noah had changed...

The set played on without hitch, the entire time I caught myself holding in breaths until I felt my lungs nearly bursting. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, feeling the familiar ache beginning to creep back in.

The music stopped, and a bunch of lights came up. By this time, Noah had discarded his jacket, button-up, and only stood in a black tank top, hands wrapped in what looked like boxing wraps?

"Alright, Boston, how we feeling?" His speaking voice even sounded different...

The crowd erupted.

"We are Bad Omens, and we sincerely appreciate you all being here tonight. The next song we are going to play for you all has been the biggest turning point this band has ever seen." I heard the screams, and did my best to tune them out so I could hear his words. "Is anyone familiar with a song called Just Pretend?"

The room rocked with the cheers and chants of the crowd.

"That volume that I just heard? That's the volume I want to hear you sing this with me, okay? Don't worry about trying to hit the perfect note or get all of the words right. It's about us all, being here together tonight."

The music played softly behind him when his lips reached the microphone.

"I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you..."

My heart twisted in my chest.

"I'm not afraid, of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out?"

The tears pooled in my eyes. No fucking way. The song played on, mocking me with the lyrics.

"I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face. And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same."

"We'll try again, when we're not so different. We will make amends, till then I'll just pretend."

My hands came up to cover my face, my lip trembling hard.

"Weigh down on me. Stay till morning. Way down. Would you say I'm worthy?"

I choked on a sob, my legs pushing me forward, and I ran out of the room. I felt my stomach lurching, my mouth clamping closed as I ran toward the bathroom.

I heard Ray chasing behind me. "Y/N! Wait!"

Flying into the bathroom and finding the first open stall, I fell to my knees, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My hands gripped my hair, tears falling hard down my face.

"Oh God, babe." Ray reached to grab my hair from me as I wretched all of the Vodka out of my stomach, my heart and soul pouring out with it.

When I finished, I let my chest heave with sobs, my hand covering my eyes in ebarrassment.

"Fuck, Ray." I said as I wiped my face with the tissue she handed me. "I've got to get the hell out of here."

She nodded. "Okay, my love. Let's do that."

After a solid twenty minutes of cleaning myself up in the bathroom, we stepped out, noticing the crowd now formed outside, waiting at the table for the band to come out for the signing. Ray was frantically dialing Sean, trying to find him among the sea of people. I just plopped myself down on the floor near the restroom, trying to relax as best as I could.

"Y/N?" I looked up at her. "I have to go find Sean. He isn't answering. Can you wait here for me?"

I just nodded, defeated. She was gone, lost within the abyss of people, and I sat, waiting, head in my hands.

I was pulled out of my stupor by the sound of cheering. The band had come out, all waving and smiling. I didn't even bother chancing a glance at him, for fear I may vomit again.

Ray had not come back yet, despite the four or five texts I had now sent her. I had been waiting for a solid thirty minutes, people watching the line and avoiding seeing his face. The ropes of the line were blocking my view of the faces sitting at the table.

After another fifteen, Ray finally bounded up to me, out of breath, Sean in tow.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry! That crowd is vicious!"

I stood slowly, the room only slightly spinning. I swallowed the dry, disgusting feeling in my throat, and began moving toward the exits that were now mostly clear.

"Let's go." She nodded at me, and took my arm. We had to wait behind several people trying to all get through the same revolving door. My skin felt spiky and cold.

"Hang on! Wait!"

A voice behind me made ice run through my veins, and I closed my eyes, begging whatever God existed to spare me in this moment.

A hand gripped my shoulder, and I tensed, turning my face, and my eyes looked straight at him.

He had spotted me, running from his table to catch me. He had to have been pretty damn sure it was me to chase after me like that. Fans began to crowd us, camera phones coming out, pictures snapping.

The look on his face was much less certain than I expected, as if he possibly made a mistake.

"I'm sorry..." His voice was unsteady. "Do I," He cleared his throat, eyes bouncing back and forth between my own. "know you?"

My eyebrows shot up. He really didn't recognize me?

He thought he did, but now...

"No. I don't think so." I spit out my words, teeth grinding together. It felt exactly the same as the last time I had seen him.

He dropped his hand, eyes still transfixed on mine. "I swore..."

I just turned my body, pressing my way past the gathered crowd, not giving him the chance to think it through.

In the car, I stared out the back window, arms wrapped around myself.

"What did he say, honey?" Ray's voice was so gentle.

"He didn't recognize me. He thought he did, but once he got up close, I guess I look too different." My words were only a peg above a whisper.

"You going to be okay? I don't have to stay at Sean's."

I just wiped the stray tear off of my cheek. "It's fine. I'd rather be alone."

-

A long, scalding shower, two handfuls of shredded cheese, and a solid half-hour crying session later, I was laid catatonically on my bed, eyes staring at the screen as Grey's Anatomy flashed across my screen.

I had blanked my mind out, forcing myself to let the thoughts go for the night. I was too tired and broken to let my heart hurt like this again. It took a solid year to get over Noah enough that I was able to function again. My first year of med school was disappointing, and I didn't make any friends until I made it into the second year. It took me nearly three to start dating.

I couldn't do that again.

I had been ignoring the texts going off on my phone, assuming it was Ray just checking on me for the thousandth time. I did, however, decide to take a look when I heard my ringtone going off.

Who would be calling me at 2AM?

I didn't even bother checking the screen before I put the phone up to my ear, my voice hoarse from crying.

"Hello?"

"What are the odds that you haven't changed your number after all this time?"

I sat bolt upright, my voice catching in my throat. The voice on the other end sounded nearly as wrecked as mine.

"Noah?" It barely came out.

"It's been a long time."

I cleared the newly formed phlegm out of my throat. "It has."

"I knew that was you." It sounded deadly quiet in the background of his end of the line. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming tonight?"

I sighed. "Nick told you?"

"He might've."

I groaned. "Well, I asked him not to."

"Why?"

I scoffed. "What do you mean, why?" I rubbed my eyes. "We're not exactly speaking anymore, Noah."

He hummed. "That's true."

I chewed on my lip, not having any kind of clue of what to say.

"What did you think?"

"Of the show?"

"Mhm."

I sighed. "It was good. Different than what I would have expected."

A soft laugh came through the line. "How so?"

I smiled at that. "It's just a lot different than what I expected your music to sound like."

"In a bad way?"

"No. Not at all."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." His voice was so serious. So monotone. Nothing at all like what I remembered.

The line fell silent again, and I found this irritating. What was he playing at?

"Why did you call, Noah?"

I heard a breath on the other end, and some rustling. "I don't know."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have."

"Maybe. I wanted to hear your voice."

My stomach tightened. "Now you have. I should go."

"Wait..." I held the phone firm, waiting. "I want to see you."

My heart pounded. "What?"

"I need to see you." His words were so matter-of-fact.

"I don't think so, Noah. That's not a great idea."

"It's not, but I'm asking..." He sounded so small. "Can I please see you?"

I perused the idea. "When?"

"Now?"

I scrunched up my face, sitting up again. "Now? It's after two in the morning."

"I don't care. I'll come to wherever you are."

This struck me. Maybe he hadn't changed?

"I, uh," I struggled to speak. "Noah, I don't know. I'm at home, it's late. I should be sleeping."

"Y/N?" I stopped, listening. "Please?"

I am a weak woman, and that is just plain fact. I was frantically running throughout the apartment, attempting to tidy any kind of mess I could get my hands on. Ray and I hadn't taken the time to really clean in months, so it was stressing me out. My pajama pants were hanging low on my hips, and I swam in my large sweatshirt.

My hair was falling loose around my face, and I was sure my eyes were puffy from the crying I had done. How insane was I? Had I completely lost it?

It was almost 3AM when a knock came at my apartment door, and I froze in place. What was I doing? Why was I allowing this to happen? I didn't need to do this to myself.

I was fine, living in my normal, tired bubble. I was headed towards a successful career that would take me further than I ever imagined. Why was I allowing this trainwreck of a friendship back into my life? What was I thinking?!

I wasn't. That was the answer to that question.

I opened the door, not sure what to expect on the other side. He stood, still as tall as I remembered, looming in the doorway. He wore a black hoodie, hands tucked neatly in the pocket. Dark blue jeans and black Converse. A white beanie covering his hair.

Like this, he looked almost recognizable. Except for his eyes...

Just like in the photograph I had seen earlier, his eyes were so dark. There was very little life behind them. Deep blue circles hung under the rims, making a pull in my chest show itself.

I just stood, blocking the doorway, hand white-knuckling the frame.

"Hi." Was all he managed. He was staring at me, eyes moving up and down my face as if he was seeing an apparition.

"Hi." I echoed, trying to not feel out of place under his stare.

"I'm glad you agreed to see me." He didn't move an inch, his jaw ticking closed with his last work.

I just nodded, letting out all of my air. "Yeah, well, you were insistent."

He nodded, finally looking away from me and down at the ground.

"I had to."

I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. "Did you?" He raised a brow at me. "Did you just have to see me? Because I think we probably would've been alright without it."

I could see his face fall, hurt by what I said, but I didn't care. He never did.

"I'm sorry. I know it's selfish."

"Mm," I pinched my lips together, and opened my door wider. "come in."

I stalked back into the house, not daring to look back at him. I heard the door shut behind me, and I steadied myself, expecting to turn around and see him vanished.

To my chagrin, he was still there.

Deciding not to stagnate, I walked into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of tea from the fridge, and walking back out to the living area. He hadn't moved, and was still staring at me.

"So." I motioned to him. "What can I do for you?"

Noah was so statuesque, as if carved right out of stone. "I don't really know."

My face lifted, a smirk on my lips. "You don't know? Noah," I placed a hand on my hip. "you show up here at 3AM, and you have no idea why?"

He shrugged, eyes begging me for mercy. "I'm sorry. I don't."

"Can you stop apologizing and just tell me why you're here?!" My patience snapped, startling even me.

This took him back, but instead of tucking tail and backing away, he stood straighter, face hardening.

"I can't tell you why I'm here if I don't know, alright?" His words were stern.

"Well you must have some kind of reason? Because this feels wildly unnecessary."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "It is? So you didn't want to see me?"

I set my tea on the coffee table and stood nonchalantly. "Not really."

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't buy it." He took a step toward me, but I stood firm. "If you didn't you wouldn't have stayed, tonight. You would've left after you saw the band your friends went to see."

He was closer now, and it felt like a string had tethered between us, the tension slowly slacking.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to see your set. See how the band was doing."

He snickered at me. "Oh, sure. Of course." His hands finally appeared from his pockets, one running over his chin. "Which song was your favorite?"

Oop. I wasn't expecting that.

"The second one. Villain, or something?"

He nodded. "Like A Villain." Noah's eyes weren't buying it. "Which one did you like least?"

I scoffed. "I don't know, Noah? The first one?"

"Mm, and which one was that?"

I was swallowing the lump in my throat. I couldn't remember, the night blurring together.

"Uh, I don't know the name."

He took a step back, triumphant. "You weren't there for the set. You wanted to see me."

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms. "Still as self-absorbed as ever, I see?"

"Am I wrong?"

He had me backed into a corner, and he fucking knew it.

I threw my arms up. "Fine! Maybe I did. But you wanted to see me too."

He sneered at me, venom on his lips. "Obviously, or else I wouldn't be here."

"You still haven't said why."

"Why did you want to see me?"

My voice was raising, frustration growing. "I don't know!"

"I don't know either!" He yelled back at me, and my mouth snapped closed. Noah never raised his voice at me. Not ever.

He took three long strides over to me until he was only stood a foot away.

"I didn't expect to ever see you again, Y/N! I thought you were gone forever! So imagine my surprise when I see you walking out of the House of Blues, and you deny even knowing me!"

I felt like shrinking into a ball right there on the floor, ceasing to exist.

"I wanted to see you because how could I not?! Seven fucking years, Y/N!" He backed down for a second, his breathing becoming ragged. "I've been waiting seven years."

I furrowed my brow. "Waiting?"

"For you to reach out. To tell me you missed me. To give me some kind of indication we could reconcile and be us again."

There was a fire, deep down in my gut, that I had never been able to truly extinguish. A fire Noah had lit years ago. A mine shaft burning like the depths of hell in my belly that I had buried under concrete and therapy, keeping it at bay.

In my apartment, tonight, that fire broke loose. And there was no stopping it.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I took a step forward, pressing into his space, index finger jabbing into his chest. "I was supposed to reach out?!"

He took a step back, eyes now full of fear.

"I professed my love to you, Noah! I told you I wanted you, and you fucking left!"

He puffed at me, pointing a finger back at me. "You told me to leave!'

"Yes! Because you told me you didn't love me! You told me you couldn't love me the way I loved you!"

He squeezed his lids shut tight, growling and turning away from me, taking several steps away. His hands came up, gripping the beanie on his head.

"God damn it Y/N!" He turned to look at me, a fiery rage matching my own behind his eyes. "Of course I fucking loved you!"

My heart stopped, completely motionless.

"What?"

"I've always loved you! From the moment I laid fucking eyes on you! I've never loved anyone, no one, the way I loved you!" He charged me, backing me toward the couch. "But I couldn't love you, Y/N! I wasn't good enough. I was a piss-poor high school dropout musician trying to make a name for himself, and, until recently, failing miserably."

I couldn't speak, thoughts racing so fast, I struggled to keep up.

"And you?" He pointed a finger back into my chest. "You were smart, and motivated, and you were going to make something of yourself. I couldn't drag you down with me. I couldn't force you to follow this journey with me. It would've ruined your life!"

My lungs weren't working right, and my hands were shaking. He wasn't actually saying this. I was hallucinating.

"So I left. I left to give you a chance at a real life. Which, evidently, you've managed to build without me." He took a step back, then, dropping his hands. "And I, somehow, without you."

This hurt me, hearing he had managed to become so successful, despite my involvement.

"Noah, I had no idea-"

"No," He cut me off. "you didn't."

I hadn't even caught the tears falling from my eyes, blurring my vision until he was just a watery mess in front of me.

"You didn't need me." I choked out, and he looked directly at me, inquisitively. "You've made it so far. You're a rockstar now, Noah."

He scoffed. "Y/N, you don't get it." He looked away from me, focused on the wall behind me. "I died without you. Something inside of me was lost the day I left, and I never got it back."

"Well, you're successful now, so it can't be so bad, right?"

He snorted, shaking his head. "Success always comes with a price."

My lips were wet with the tears I couldn't hold in, and I couldn't keep my breathing even. I knew he saw it, but hesitated to engage, wanting to keep a wide berth between us. I couldn't take it. It was too much.

Hearing he loved me. Hearing I had been wrong all this time. Hearing that the heartbreak I felt for so long wasn't his fault. He was protecting me, even after all these years.

"Noah?" He chanced a glance at me, and I saw his own eyes sparkling with moisture.

I couldn't take it.

I rushed him, grabbing hold of his shoulder and clinging on, desperate to find relief against him. My lips smashed into his, tearing apart the barrier I had worked so hard to build.

His hands grabbed me, holding me into place against him, his lips melted into mine, returning the kiss fervently. We were hopeless. We were hungry.

My tears didn't stop flowing, emotion pouring out of every pore. My fingers clawed at him, needing to get closer. My hand grabbed the beanie, and pulled it off of his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. I gripped it at the scalp, trying to pull myself closer.

Feeling what I was attempting to do, his hands lifted me by the back of my legs, so I could wrap them around his midsection. I refused to disconnect the kiss, breathing in his soul. It was so real and so familiar. How I missed it like hell.

His legs carried us to the couch, where he sat us down. My legs straddled him, and I finally pulled away to tug at the sweatshirt he wore. He made quick work of pulling it up over his head while I did the same with my own. Reconnecting our lips, my hands wandered over his neck and chest, scratching at the fabric of his shirt.

His teeth caught my bottom lip, and I moaned into his mouth. His fingers pulled at the waistband of my pajama pants, and I lifted myself enough to slip them off, replacing myself on his lap. His jeans were already getting tighter as his hands smoothed up and down my thighs.

"Fucking hell." He looked down, staring at my bare breasts in front of him. "These got bigger, huh?"

I laughed, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, well, things change."

His fingers gripped around my left breast, lips falling to circle around the hardened nipple. I let my head fall back, relishing in the warm feeling spreading throughout my body.

"Still so fucking beautiful, just like I remember." I pulled at the hair on the back of his neck. "Did you miss me, baby girl?"

I ground my hips down against him in response. His hand began playing with the button of his jeans, and I moved it away to open them myself.

I stood up to pull his jeans down to his knees, his boxers bulging in the crotch.

"Oh, fuck." I sighed out. "Yeah, I missed you."

His smile then was devious, some of that regular spark shining back in his eyes. "Then show me, huh?"

Reaching into the opening of his underwear, I pulled his cock free, taking a moment to remember just how large it was. It had been a very long time since I had seen anything quite that impressive. Dipping my head down, I licked a long stripe up the shaft, lingering on the head to gather the precome leaking out.

"Holy shit." His head fell back on the couch, his eyes rolling back with it. "Mm, do that again, please?"

I smirked, looking up at him. "Only since you asked so nicely."

My tongue repeated the movement, drawing out a hard groan out of him, his legs twitching. "Fuck yeah, baby."

Without warning, I wrapped my lips around him and swallowed him as far down as my throat would allow, gagging on the tip as it struck my tonsils. His hips jolted upward, effectively fucking my throat.

"Please, Y/N, I won't last that way." He begged, his words only coming out as breaths. "I need to feel you, please."

He was begging, and I couldn't resist it. I needed him too.

I stood back up, and kneeled on either side of him, carefully lining him up with my entrance. When I sunk down, that delicious burn pierced through me, and my body collapsed onto him at the intensity of it.

"Noah, oh my God." He ran a hand up my back, allowing me a moment to adjust.

"I know, baby. I know." He soothed me, rubbing small circles into my skin.

My hips stuttered forward, needing to feel the friction. His hand reached down to grab my ass, and lifted me upward. Without warning, his hips snapped forward and fucked into me, making a sharp scream leave my lips.

My face rested on his chest, whimpers falling from my throat with each hard thrust.

"Fuck, you missed me, pretty girl?" He was panting between his words, his rhythm picking up speed. "Missed the way I fuck you?"

My eyes were rolling back, the tears from before now replaced with tears of raw pleasure.

"I'll bet you've never been fucked like this, huh?" His words were just tones of desire playing in my ears, his cock absolutely destroying me. "No one can fuck you like I can, baby. No one."

My nails dug hard into his shirt, begging for release.

"Let me know when you come, baby. Not finishing until you do."

Luckily for him, I was riding the edge so hard it was making the room spin. Biting my lip to keep from screaming, I lifted myself to look at his face.

"Noah," I searched his eyes, his hips not faltering. "I love you."

He grit his teeth, trying to focus on me and his hips at the same time. "I love you, too. So fucking much."

My face fell back down, landing on the side of his neck. "I'm going to come. Please, Noah, I'm so close..."

He, somehow, managed to pump into me harder, sending my body over the cliff and into the warm waves of my orgasm. My body went slack against him as my walls pulsed around his length.

I heard him curse, and his hips stilled. I felt him spasming inside me, and silently thanked myself for my IUD.

We laid that way, sweaty and heaving, for a solid ten minutes before either of us could find the strength to move. I slipped him out of me, and sat up to look at him. He looked absolutely wrecked, in the best possible way.

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread over me.

"Hi." Was all I could manage.

He chuckled tiredly. "Hi."

-

After our excursion, Noah and I had taken a few minutes to clean up, and, being as exhausted as you'd expect, decided to lay together for a while.

He told me he had to leave within a few hours to get back to his hotel, heading to the next city bright and early, so I told him I'd stay up until he had to leave.

However, in my bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me, his voice whispering sweet words in my ears, I struggled to remain conscious.

"Do you remember when I bought you that Oasis album for your fourteenth birthday? That was basically me professing my love to you."

"I was such an idiot. I should've just told you."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you. I don't think you'll ever understand."

"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different..."

And that's how I woke up, light in my bedroom far too bright, and my bed empty.

I don't know what I expected? For him to stay? Fuck off his tour to make up for lost time with me?

But still, my chest stung when I saw he had left, but I wasn't surprised.

Something had changed last night, and the darkness that lingered in the depths of my being had lifted, leaving me with a sense of hope I hadn't felt before.

When I had woken for the day, clearing the cobwebs from my eyes, I contemplated my next move. He had surely left town already, but that didn't mean I couldn't keep in touch, right?

Pulling out my phone, I found his contact, and opened a text thread.

Me: Hey, call me when you can. I think we have a lot to talk about. :)

I set my phone down on the bathroom counter, preparing to brush my teeth when my phone dinged, and the notification told me the text had failed.

Odd?

I resent it, getting the same response.

Why would my messages fail? I paid my bill, right?

Quickly dialing Ray's number, I held the phone to my ear and heard the ringing, so I knew my service was fine. Giving her a quick apology for waking her, I hung up, and went back to my texts.

His number was the same, right?

I went back to my call logs, seeing it was his number that called me last night, so it was the same as it had always been.

So...what the hell?

My finger hovered over the number for a moment, and I weighed the options before finally resolving to just call him. Make sure I wasn't losing my mind.

I held the phone to my face as I started brushing my teeth, waiting for the call to connect.

"The number you have reached is not in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please hang up and try your call again."

[strongheartneteyam]

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to @cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 5

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: reader sees neteyam with another girl and gets jealous, a lot of angst, a flashback that tells u more about reader's past and why she acts in such a distrustful way, reader tries to deny to herself that she has feelings for neteyam but she realizes she does like him, heartbroken reader, tense encounter between neteyam and reader, TRIGGER WARNING for family issues, parental verbal abuse, mentions of death of a family member, mourning, studying too much as a coping mechanism, allusions of possible alcoholism, low self steem, isolating as a coping mechanism. Tell me if I'm missing anything!

Hi, loves! I don't have time to fully proofread this chapter rn so I hope things are alright lol In this chapter you guys will hopefully understand why reader is so fucked up in the head and follows her trust issues like they are the voice of truth 🥲 Have patience with my poor girl, I promise she's a bit insane but she's good. Anyways, hope y'all like this chapter! I love all of you and as always, I'll say THANK U SO MUCH for all the love and support I receive from you guys everyday. Means the world to me and makes me feel loved 🥺🤌🏻🥲💕 Comments will be incredibly appreciated by me so feel free to leave me some feedback down below!! <3

Slightly proofread.

Part 4 : Now she got your heart so I feel stupid, foolish, afraid

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Hit me like a shot in the heart

Never shoulda played you so hard

Guess I played myself, that's my fault

I don't even know how to think

'Cause now she got your heart so I feel stupid, foolish, afraid

I'm losing everything I thought I couldn't

My whole world is falling apart

I DO (G-IDLE)

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You had just gotten back from a long talk and an awesome breakfast with Adeline and Kate - no Pandoran food this time, you guys had already eaten way too much alien food the night before at the Metkayina beach party, and now, all you guys wanted to help with the hangover was burgers and coke and that's what the three of you ate. Some good human food was always great to remind a scientist living on an alien Planet of their humanity. 

You were hanging out in Tsireya's and Lo'ak's marui. It was getting near noon and you had been talking to Tsireya for a good amount of time, while Lo'ak was out fishing with Rotxo and Ao'nung. You wondered if they were gonna pick up a stupid fight with each other over something small and stupid, like who got a fish first. Lo'ak and Ao'nung had become friends with time but they would always be a little bit of frenemies too. You thought that was incredibly idiotic but still funny as hell.

You said goodbye to Tsireya and thanked her for the yellow flower she had adorned your hair with. She was a sweetheart, so kind, always doing things for other people. You really liked that alien girl's company. You could connect to each other really well even if the both of you were from completely different species. She was one of your good friends and one of the few people in the world you trusted because you were always one to read people well and you could see Tsireya's smiles and good deeds were not just a facade to seem like a perfect girl and make people love and admire her. Even though she seemed too perfect, too good, she was truly what she seemed to be. Not perfect, because nobody is, but truly a good girl. She was full of kindness and a need to help others had been planted deep inside her right before she was born (by Eywa, if you were to talk like Kiri did) and she would always follow that call. Tsireya was an open book and you liked that. Those kinds of people are easy to trust.

You stepped out of the door, hungry, feeling your stomach hurt. Starving would be a better way to describe it.

The wind was gentle and it had a higher temperature to it than it had early in the morning, back when Neteyam held you in his arms. That thought sent a shiver down your spine and made your heart start to beat faster and hurt, simultaneously, but you did your best to send that thought the farther it could go. 

The sun was shining really bright in the Pandoran sky, not many clouds around to make the temperature a little less hot. You felt a little stream of sweat dripping down your forehead and used the back of your hand to quickly dry it.

You were heading over to the marui that you, Adeline and Kate were sharing. You wondered if they knew what you guys were gonna eat for lunch. You needed food more than you needed air at that moment. You all worked as scientists and were the humans that were called "loyal to the na'vi". The three of you were in Awa'atlu because of the party - the Metkayina were famous among the na'vi and the humans for throwing unforgettable beach parties - and would stay for a little more time because traveling that far just to go back the next day made no sense at all. You and the girls would soon be heading back to Hell's Gate.

You walked through the Metkayina beach with your head down, looking at your feet getting covered by the tiny grains of sand. Once you looked up, you saw Neteyam talking to Munì. She was joyfully laughing at something he was saying but you couldn't hear what it was, since you were a good amount of meters away from them. You felt a stabbing feeling creeping up on you. Jealousy.

Damn. It could not be real. You could not be feeling jealous of Neteyam. That feeling was bad news. You could not be that attached. Fuck, no!! You were the one who dumped him, dammit. He was now moving on. Great for him. Why the hell did you even care? "I gotta stop being stupid" you thought to yourself. But your heart just would not stop hurting.

Munì was gorgeous and she treated Neteyam so nicely. The girl seemed to be head over heels for him. But again, it was not hard to see a girl acting like that when around Neteyam. One time you had heard Lo'ak saying that he was like a flame and the girls - na'vi or human - were like a Pandoran winged insect that loved light, be it coming from bioluminescent plants or from fire. Those extraterrestrial insects behaved in a similar way to how an insect called moth that used to live on Earth but was, unfortunately, extinct behaved.

Munì truly seemed to be a nice girl. She was na'vi, too. Of course she would be better for Neteyam than you could ever try to be. Neteyam was right to finally give her his attention. You would never be good enough for him and you knew it. If you had accepted being his mate, soon enough he would see how broken and messed up you truly were and he would fall out of love.

As you looked away as fast as you could, pretending you saw nothing, and kept walking towards the place where your girlfriends would be waiting for you, you had one of those weird moments where you seemed to be taken back to the past. It was so insanely uncomfortable but you never seemed to be able to control your own brain and keep yourself safe and sound at the present. You would always go down that same bitter path of painful memories. 

After your little sister died in a car accident, everything changed. You saw no reason to stay on Earth anymore. The only family you had that you felt actually cared for you and you could connect with was gone. The pain felt unbearable, like it tore your chest apart everytime you remembered you would never be able to hug Tracy again. That's when you made up your mind for real: your major would be Exoscience.

"Why would you go to that Planet?! It's dangerous, (y/n)!"

"Oh really, father? And staying here on Earth is really safe, right? A dying Planet! I am a scientist, I've been studying for it for years and I told you and mother I was gonna go to Pandora one day to study the Planet and help the na'vi. Did you think I was just kidding?!"

"So you're just gonna abandon your family to go help some stupid aliens and never come back? Is that it?"

"Yes, father. That's exactly it! There's nothing for me here. You and mother have abandoned me a long time ago. Just because you're still around it doesn't mean you're actually there for me. You're blind if you can't see it."

"You fucking ungrateful girl!" Your father screamed at you, which made you flinch "Just go then. Let's see how long you're gonna survive there, all alone. Just wait until those aliens decide to turn against you. You can't trust them. You're never gonna be an equal in their eyes. You're always gonna be human, an enemy. You'll never be safe in Pandora as you're safe here on Earth. But it's your choice. You're a grown up as you always say, right?!" He smirked "Go follow your dreams, daughter. But don't try and ask us for help when you see that those dreams turned into nightmares."

"I'm not gonna be alone there. Adeline and Kate are going too." You said confidently 

"Friends are not family." Your father harshly stated as he looked at you in disappointment seasoned with a little bit of disdain

Everytime you remembered how your parents would treat you back on Earth you would feel like someone was squeezing your heart hard, trying mercilessly to make it explode inside their hands.

Their cruel words taught you that you had to learn how to face the world completely on your own, you couldn't count on anyone and you certainly should not trust anyone easily. You trusted your parents when you were a kid and they told you they loved you and that they would always be there for you but as soon as you dared to make a decision on your own, going against the plan they had for your life, which was to stay on Earth and go to medical school, they abandoned you. Though you never wanted that for you, it seemed like your parents didn't love you for who you were, they only loved the version of you they created in their minds, the good daughter who would always obey her parents, even after she was an adult, the good girl who would always behave like everybody wanted her to, who would never even dare to dress in a "weird way" that would bring too much attention to herself because "what about what people will comment?" like your mother used to say.

You got so fed up with all of it that you just decided to study as hard as you could so you could get away from that Planet and be a great scientist. You had always felt drawn to the stars and the moon, ever since you were a child. Maybe that was the way the Universe found of letting you know that there was much more to see and experience than what's on the planet you had been born in. You decided you shall go nearer the stars you could watch from Earth, like the ones in the constellation known as The Archer.

You studied your ass off, didn't have much time for friendships, parties or leisure but you got what you wanted. Not without the help of half a bottle of wine everyday at 4 am, though. When you finally finished studying everything you needed to retain information about and would finally, that late in the am, try to relax and be able to fall asleep, the alcohol truly helped. It seemed to soothe you from the inside. It was calming and familiar.

You did regret pushing people away because all you focused on was your studies, though. You realized too late that the people you love - and love you back in a healthy way, not a toxic one - should come before your career. But crying over the milk that was spilled wouldn't fix anything. You can't go back in time but you can try and do better in the present and that's what you made a big effort to do nowadays. Now, you and your small group of close friends were inseparable and you were always there for your girls, like Adeline, for example. She earned your trust. She was your childhood friend and contrary to what your own family did, she never abandoned you.

Chosen family… you wholeheartedly believed in that concept.

𓇼

Later, when it was afternoon and you were hanging out with your na'vi friends - Tsireya, Rotxo, Ao'nung and Kiri - you realized Neteyam was walking towards the rocks you all were sitting at. He was talking to Lo'ak, the two brothers laughing about something. Neteyam seemed too distracted to notice you but when he realized you were there and everybody saw the way both of you tensed up at the sight of each other, the atmosphere around the friend group got filled with a bad energy. Nobody knew how to act.

Yeah, it wasn't just a saying. News truly travel at the speed of light in Pandora.

How the hell did they find out about the fact that you and Neteyam had hooked up? Did anyone see the both of you together and spread the word around?

You wondered if you would lose your friends because of what you did to Neteyam. You already felt like shit and couldn't stop thinking about how stupid you had been… you did not want to lose your friends too. You knew you had lost the chance to have a great guy be your partner.

At least you would still have your human girl friends. But you would miss your Metkayina friends, of course…

God, getting attached always got you in trouble! But you couldn't help it when it came to the na'vi. They were much more loyal than the humans, so, you trusted them easier. It was easier to make friends with an alien race than with your own race. What a joke that seemed to be.

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Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003

@lala-1516

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

[butmakeitgayblog]

I think I speak for everyone when I say the answer to “Y'all want a lil snippet? 👀” will ALWAYS be HELL YES WE DO! No matter which story.

That's cuz you guys are sweet 🥰

Ok, it's only mildly edited and also my first attempt at canon. So, please lmk what you think, but be gentle 🥺 👉👈

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tap against the door barely breaks the silence of the night for how soft it is. The sound makes Clarke's stomach swoop with elation and a wonderful sense of dread as the hairs on her arms rise on end. Instinct has her grabbing up her knife and resting a hand on the pistol at her hip again. She slips away from the table, back to the very edge of the shadows, prepared to sink further into the darkness that cloaks the farthest corners depending on what comes through the door that eases open.

Her own heartbeat pops like gunshots as Clarke holds her breath, watching. Waiting. But the fingers that wrap around the wood have her sighing in instant relief. 

She knows those fingers intimately.

The hinges whine in protest at being shaken yet again from their slumber after such a good long sleep. Still, they obey, and twist enough to allow a head of intricate braids to ease past. Clarke's heart jumps to her throat when the head turns and surveys the candlelit room, eyes as dark as the kohl mask that surrounds them sweeping from one corner to the next, before landing squarely on her.

A flurry of emotions wash through Clarke at the silent stare that seems to stretch far past dawn. It feels as though days pass in the static silence that hangs between them in the cramped space of the room, despite it surely only being a handful of seconds. It is The Commander who breaks the moment and slips the rest of the way inside, of that there is no doubt. Her shoulder guard, sword, and dagger strapped to a lean thigh scrape against the wood as she squeezes herself in through the gap - all the trappings that mark this meeting as purely business. 

Clarke's heart sinks.

The door shuts with a thump that echoes in Clarke's ears long after it's settled in its frame. The sight of her causes some piece of Clarke to uncoil in violent release of breath, like a spring let loose from its point of tension just to wobble and fall riotously still. Dark eyes stare at her in silence. Reminding Clarke so vividly of her first weeks here on the ground. Their depths carry the memories of alliances born and broken in the deathly quiet of night. Of trust found and lost, of promises made and broken, back when she'd gone toe to toe with the foreboding commander of the blood and somehow lived to tell about it. 

The glittering pools of those eyes seem endless against the burnished amber of the room's candle light. But… Despite looking every bit as menacing as she had in those early days before Clarke had seen the girl beneath the warrior, Clarke can't help seeing the tenderness she knows is patiently waiting underneath. She can see it in the way her throat flexes with a swallow as Lexa takes another step into the room.

"You came."

The hand holding her knife drops back down to her side as Clarke lets out a whisper of a laugh. “Of course I did.”

The thought of anything else twists like snakes in the pit of Clarke's stomach. The question that laces the words feeling almost like a slap to the face. Lexa had asked her to meet here. After so many weeks of one-way messages being delivered and left unanswered, the slip of scroll with a crudely sketched map next to a date and time had felt like a lifeline. After everything, in what alternate timeline would Clarke have entertained being anywhere else?

Lexa's eyes scan her face, trace her shoulders, fall to her feet and back up. “You're well?”

Horrible, unimaginable thoughts race through Clarke's mind. Thoughts of crying, of collapsing in a relieved, exhausted heap at the Heda's feet. Thoughts of crossing the room and flinging herself against the commander's chest just to feel the strength of those arms cradle her close and make things simpler again. It's a humiliating collection of scenes that play through Clarke's head in the seconds that they stand there simply watching each other. Neither moving. Neither breaching the chasm that divides them. 

All Clarke does is lean heavier against the wall behind her. “Yes, Lexa. I'm, I'm fine… You?”

Lexa's chin dips in the mere suggestion of a nod instead of answering, but Clarke hopes that she is reading the lines that flex along the edges of her eyes for what they are: a chip in the armor. A crack in the facade. An acknowledgment that, maybe, Lexa had been as nervous for this meeting as her.

Whatever the emotion is, it's gone as quickly as it came, because it's all business when Lexa draws herself up a moment later. Her body falls into its second-nature stance of a queen ruling from the steps of her throne. Even in the absence of her halo of antler horns, the effect is just as striking. 

Lexa's hands tuck neatly together at the front and her shoulders set, she nods toward the table between them. “Your last correspondence suggested you have news?”

The tap-clunk, tap-clunk of Heda's boots against the neglect-brittled flooring as she steps to the table is enough to startle Clarke from her staring. Apparently the time for pleasantries was over. She loops her way around to stand beside the commander as Lexa takes in her every move with that cool, detached gaze she seems to have down to a science. 

It's unnerving. No, she thinks. Not unnerving. Rather it's… Disarming. Penetrating in how it cuts Clarke down to the bone. That constant sensation of Lexa's eyes on her, taking in Clarke's every minute act and twitch of her face as she upturns the rest of the contents of her bag into a pile on the table. She'd forgotten the exact flush that inches up her neck whenever she feels that weighted stare on her. 

In a crowded council meeting, across a village bustling with life. Far too often than is strictly necessary: exactly three damn inches from her own face. In the beginning, Clarke had wondered if such blatant disregard for personal space was simply a Woods clan quirk. But in the preceding months on the ground she's learned that lapse in skaikru etiquette is most definitely just a, ‘Lexa Thing’.

But whatever the distance or cause, Clarke finds herself entirely too aware of herself whenever Lexa's eyes land on her. Which does nothing to help steady her hand as she lays out the newer sketches of Arkadia she'd painstakingly prepared in the days prior. Nor does it make her find the specific page she'd marked in her journal any faster. Flashing past sketches of hands draped across furs, collarbones bruised by fervent lips, past drawings of tattoos committed to memory put down on paper without pause.

“So, things are… progressing,” Clarke says more to buy her time than anything. She sets the journal down and slides the nearest candle closer to better read the script of her own writing. Lexa leans her hands on the table next to Clarke's as she looks over the pages. Clarke only lets her eyes dash to the inch of space between them before continuing on. “The, um, the first month was basically a lost cause because I was stuck in solitary—”

“Your messenger informed me,” Lexa interjects in an expelled breath, tight lipped in its delivery, but adding nothing more. 

Clarke nods to that, knowing she herself had been the one who made sure the information was delivered. Because three nights into her confined stay at “home” had been all it took for Lexa's, admittedly dramatic, words of ‘You've been living with their enemy. If it were me, I would kill you on the spot’ to begin ringing continuously in her ears. Knowing her own tendencies to always brace for the worse, the decision had been easy. With little more than a scrap of napkin and chip of charcoal from the remnants of her drawing set, Clarke had sent word with Octavia - the only one she trusted to wriggle her way in and out of Ark without detection - to pass the whereabouts of her status along. 

Still, Clarke rolls her eyes for good measure.

“Right. And, as you also know,” she says with a pointed edge to her words, “these last few months have been… difficult. But I'm making ground.”

It feels like a race against the clock explaining what she's been doing the past few months since they parted ways - convey in carefully selected tidbits of information how the days trickle by only inches or miles. Nothing in between. It sounds feeble to her own ears, the lack of tangible progress to show the commander undoubtedly growing impatient with the ever troublesome Skaikru, but Clarke barrels on with each lack of response from Lexa whenever she dares to pause for breath. Doesn't give the Heda time to point out the finer points of her lackluster coup, thus far. 

She leaves out any glimpses into her days that her better judgment tells her to keep hidden. Ones that allude to exactly how precarious the situation is behind the Ark's heavily gated walls. Like the fact that she had to run for her life the second she crossed the skaikru boundary - that sneaking past the commander's own kill-order guard wasn't the thing that had spiked her adrenaline, but rather the trigger happy guards set to walk the parameter. The ones collared with a kill order of their own. 

Every glance at the commander leaves Clarke grasping for another sentence. Something more to prove that this time hasn't passed in vain. But it all feels empty under the scrutiny of the woman standing at attention beside her, not a twitch of muscle or bend of brow giving any of the Heda's thoughts away. 

She's just staring. In that arresting way only Lexa seems able to do. Eyes a midnight slate wiped clean of emotion, brittle in their vacuum of light - iris and pupil so cloaked in the shadow of her war paint it's hard to discern between the two. 

A near quarter mark of the candle burns in rifts of her fumbling vibrato and drops of spilled oily wax, when the air becomes more stifling at Lexa's sudden shift closer. Near enough Clarke can feel her body heat slice clean through the cold. “I'll admit, at times it's like pulling teeth. Everything is always two steps forward, one step back with them. But I promise, Lexa, my people— Our people, they're getting restless with—”

“Have you slept?” 

The question lands like a punch just below the ribs, the softness of Lexa's voice feeling almost violent as it slices through the ringing in Clarke's ears. It cuts her off as effectively as clamping in vice grip around her throat. The skim of a glove-clad knuckle against her cheek makes her sway. She'd almost forgotten such tenderness actually existed in this world.

Her eyes flutter closed and she leans into the touch without a thought. The table wobbles under Clarke's hands as she gives up the fight and sags her weight onto her palms. She opens her mouth to assure the commander just how fine she is despite the display, but—

“Not much,” is all Clarke can manage in the sudden exhaustion that floods her bones. “I try. When I can, but…”

The knuckle slips down to bend a delicate hook around her chin. It curls inward, turning her face with it. Eyes darkened in shadow and half-spent candlelight take their time with her, searching for everything Clarke doesn't have the energy to say. Time expands and contracts to the razor point of a knife, plunging itself into her most vital, beating organ in those few precious moments when Lexa simply holds her there. Giving her every chance to pull away. 

Despite all the unanswered questions and emotions that still linger between them - doubt, mistrust, hunger, betrayal - Clarke doesn't have the words to explain why she can't make herself move even one inch away. Or… exactly how much she doesn't particularly want to. 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers in an exhale that sounds like it's been held since the day Clarke had left her standing there in her room. She is so close Clarke can measure the exact flutter of her lashes as she warms under the chilled puff from her lips. In her silence, Lexa inches closer, leaning down enough to bring her forehead to Clarke's. Barely close enough for the touch to tickle against the fine hairs of her skin, but Clarke feels its burn everywhere. “Breathe.”

Fingers fan out and smooth along her neck. The feel of them tangling in the curls that cling to her skin send a shiver down Clarke's spine. It makes her tip forward, press fuller into the steeled softened woman all but propping her up, trusting Lexa to accept even more of Clarke's burdens as her own.

“It's hard sleeping there now,” Clarke admits. It feels like a weight lifting off of her shoulders just releasing that truth into the world. But the guilt of it lingers. Because how can she explain that the stale air and metal of the Ark's inner workings that used to give her a sense of peace and safety, doesn't anymore? How can she explain that despite her duty, and her unyielding love for her people… none of it feels like home anymore? How can she explain that between the darkest hours of midnight and the breaking of every dawn, feelings of home come in memories of incense scented furs, and a breeze that winds through cracked windows of a certain tower?

Most nights she pushes the feeling away. Stares at the rust lined rivets and peeling paint of her quarters on the Ark, chastising herself for just how far she's drifted from being that girl who crashed down from the stars. 

Clarke pulls back and meets the worry that lingers in Lexa's eyes with a wry smile. “The war drums beating twenty-four seven don't particularly help.”

There's something endearing about the guilt that creeps into Lexa's stare. “It's strategic.”

“I gathered as much. Is the strategy to drive everyone insane?”

Clarke finds Lexa's hand when she sighs and lets her arm drop, unwilling to break all contact just yet. Not after so many weeks apart. The shadow of Heda's eyes slant down to the touch and linger there, watching the way Clarke's hand holds hers. “Not… entirely.”

“Lexa, that really isn't—”

“I need your people to see what being part of the coalition means. And more, what breaking from it will bring,” Lexa cuts her off. The tenderness with which she laces her fingers through Clarke's is starkly at odds with the frustration that bleeds into her words. “All that most of them know is what they have heard from your chancellor, or decisions made before they were one of my clans. They take no time to see things beyond the gates of Arkadia. But now it is there. We are there so they can see the strength in our numbers. The unity in which we fight. They can see with their own eyes the safety that comes from being with us.”

It's annoying that an argument doesn't immediately spring to Clarke's mind, even as the more stubborn pieces of herself howl a tinny echo of revolt. But her exhaustion keeps her quiet. The higher reasoning within her, too. All the pieces of herself that have heard the misgivings of so many of her fellow Skaikru, and still know that what Lexa is saying is… not technically wrong.

“And the dangers of being against you,” Clarke tacks on just for the hell of it, sighing as she untangles their fingers and turns to lean back on the table. “I understand that, Lexa, I do. But I'm not entirely sure if psychological warfare is the right tactic given the circumstances.”

The shuffled thunk of Lexa's boot as she steps closer is enough to pull Clarke's gaze back to her. “While a show of strength is a factor, that is not the only goal here, Clarke. And I believe you know that.” 

Again, the lack of obvious points to needle at or undermine is infuriating, because what Lexa says is true. Because the boundary of warriors that stretch off in the distance does do so much more than stand guard over the lines of the blockade.

The first flood of the kongeda infantry that had erected the initial boundary of the kill-order came in a wave of tents, fanfare, and flying coalition flags. Axes and hammers had split through the surrounding trees like warm butter to make room for large temporary settlements, each dotting the forest eye-line with the colors and symbols of the twelve clans. At every angle from the watchtower's view from the Ark, the only sight that mingled within the sea of forestry was warriors of the coalition converging in a united front. Floukru beside Sankru. Yujleda beside Ingranrona. Azgeda camped close, under guarded Trikru eyes. 

It hadn't taken long for the second wave to join them. And then a third right on its heels. Even warriors from the Capitol join their ranks - faces covered in familiar streaks of warpaint, ones that Clarke had spoken to personally within the beating heart of Polis itself peppered throughout the encampments to stand vigil among the festivities. All bringing with them a level of noise that Clarke knew meant the warriors must have been given explicit orders to be as loud as humanly possible. The weeks that had followed had been nothing but an unending cacophony that surrounded Arkadia on all sides. 

Each day the forest filled with the sounds of relentless training from each settled camp; the singing clash of swords and the whistled-thump of arrows, blotted only by seconds of eerie silence between rounds. But the nights. The night's were somehow even worse. A fresh hell with every setting sun. Because after full days of training, the warriors are allowed to rest at ease. Under a canopy of stars, the air swells in a clattering of music that mingles with the steady beat of the war drum. Each night the forest echoes with the roar of their laughter as the salty perfume of mead and slowly roasted meats hangs heavy in the noses of Skaikru.

Clarke understands the strategy for what it is: a mindfuck on all fronts. An unambiguous message to the village of invaders-turned-kru directly from Heda herself. A truth simply waiting to be accepted. You're either with us, or you're against us. Flourish beside us, or wither within your cage. I understand your struggles - your hunger and your fear. And while one day all of our bodies will return to salt the earth, carrying on this way only ensures that death is far, far more miserable. Either way. We're thriving.

And we are not going anywhere.   

It's an effective strategy, if not polarizing in its delivery, at least as far as messaging goes. Though to be perfectly honest, at the core of Clarke’s frustration is the fact that she hadn't exactly been prepared to deal with the pain in the ass fallout of yet another political pissing match to begin the second she'd slunk back to the place she once considered home. 

Lexa reaches out and picks Clarke's hands up from where they'd fallen against her lap in a sigh of utter defeat. “I'm not trying to make things more difficult for you. Our agendas are the same, Clarke. And I think, given time… they will see it too.”

“Yes, but when you called for the blockade I was expecting, like, a sentry or two. Not a thousand warriors practicing their knife skills and having nightly feasts.” If Clarke squeezes Lexa's hands back a few hundred pascals tighter than strictly necessary, the commander has the grace not to show it.

“That had been the plan. Initially. I had every intention of waiting Pike out. But then, after we… After everything…” 

Clarke feels her heart wobble at the flex of Lexa's jaw. “What?”

“I felt… inclined to hurry the process along. I do want to give you time to work within your ranks, because I trust you, and I know how capable you are. But also I—” Lexa falters, then swallows. Gives the barest shake of her head, her eyes staying glued to the hands held within her own as she visibly forces herself to speak. “Selfishly, I want this conflict finished as soon as possible.”

/////////

[ticklishraspberries]

PERCY & GROVER TICKLE HEADCANONS? 🥺

anonymous said: Percy Jackson Hc request!!! the og trio (Percy, Annabeth, Grover) would totally have tickle fights! Thoughts?

HELL YEAH, okay i've only read the lightning thief so far so i apologize if any of this is out of character for the rest of the series, this is based on my very limited knowledge<333

first, annabeth chase. wise girl. she is...a normal amount of ticklish, but is hella dramatic about it. she takes being tickled as a personal attack that demands revenge. she acts like she hates it (she doesn't love it, honestly, it's fun but she doesn't like being bested in battle, even if that's a tickle battle) and will kick and scream.

she's most ticklish on her stomach and knees, but just about any spot works. she has this really girlish, high-pitched laugh that is so endearing and makes percy melt

she's a pretty mean ler!! she can be extremely teasy with her words and likes to tickle people until they call for mercy or admit something

grover is very ticklish and has this really cute, nervous giggle that definitely has a little bit of a...goat-ish quality to it lmfao

his whole upper body is extremely ticklish, his lower body isn't really ticklish at all bc, yknow...goat

he finds tickling really fun but he's so sensitive that he always taps out early af

as a ler, he's really gentle and playful and silly!!

and finally, our titular boi...percy. super ticklish!!

sensitive everywhere but his ribs/underarms and his back are rlly ticklish - pretty much any spot will get a reaction though

his mom tickled him a lot when he was a kid and he's always associated it with love and affection which is why he likes it much more than the average person

isn't a very experienced ler so he practices on grover lmfao

has this very sweet laugh but yaps through it a lot, begging and bargaining and occasionally swearing

[cognitosclowns]

I wanna fall asleep with these freaks 💓🥺

I am the eepiest sleepiest little guy of all time and this activated a Worm in my Brain so this is gonna get SO LONG AMSDNAMSND

sfw!! just snuggles and soft things

Reagan

Not extremely cuddly? She likes her personal space!

That doesn't mean she never wants cuddles, she's just gotta be in a particular Mood for it!

Most nights, she wants to be kinda,, gently curled into your arm?? just a loose grip around it w/ her own, cheek resting on your bicep.

She talks in her sleep, but it's very quiet. Usually it's just her going through her schedule for tmrw (does she?? dream of work in her sleep???), but occasionally, you'll hear her mumbling about how much she loves you <333

Yes, it's just as cute as it sounds. She has no memory of it in the morning, but if you bring it up, she'll get this flustered little Half-Smile alllll morning <3

She falls asleep so fast. if you wanna be cute w/ her while cozied in bed I'm so sorry, the second she feels Safe and Warm and Cozy in your vicinity she's passing out for 4-12 hours ✨✌🏻

It's alright, you know she needs her rest <3 besides, that just opens up options for you two to be soft and shmoopy in the morning

Brett

Unsurprisingly, the cuddliest guy of all time. He would be inside your ribcage if the opportunity was provided KJASDKASJD

He really likes?? laying on your chest and stomach?? he likes to be significantly further down. occasionally you'll just,, barely see his hair and the top of his forehead peaking out from the covers from how low he gets

it's just so comfy! he likes The Noises and Warmth and Vague Suffocation that comes w/ sleeping w/ his head under the covers, resting against your torso <3

He smiles so much in his sleep. you didn't think ppl did that outside of movies, but he totally does <3 usually only when he's having a particularly good dream.

OH ALSO HIS BED IS SO FUCKING COZY

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS MAN DOESN'T QUILT. HE HAS SO MANY BEAUTIFUL HAND-MADE QUILTS AND BLANKETS AND KNITTED SHIT IN HIS BED. I hope you like being cozy bc you're gonna be The Coziest Of All Time.

He also sleeps with stuffed animals! He always did as a child bc his treehouse was always cold as hell, and the habit just stayed with him!

they're so well-kept and soft all these years later <3 usually he just keeps them at the foot of the bed, bc it makes him feel safe to, but occasionally he'll bring a couple up for you two to snuggle <3 You Are Never Too Old To Snuggle A Stuffed Bear Don't Like To Yourself.

Andre

A Nightmare (affectionate)

not only is his sleep schedule Entirely Batshit, but he has so much trouble falling asleep. expect lots of tossing and turning

he does settle a lot thought when you hold him!! Don't hold too close, he still needs to squirm a lot to actually fall asleep

You're also the only person that he gets a full nights sleep with <3 he usually ends up waking up in the night, his mind starts working on smth, and he doesn't go back to sleep <3 but with you, it's almost instantaneous.

A little Jump, a bit of squirming to get into a comfortable position, and then off to seeb again <3 it's nice to see just how safe he feels around you <3

Expect plenty of early morning/late night convos <3 hell even middle of the night convos, where he hasn't realised that he fell asleep and instantly hops back into Whatever He Was

He also has such a habit of. Continuing Conversations From His Dream. like he'll just grab your arm and start talking about Yes I'm Sure If We Distilled It Enough We Could Make Whiskey Out Of Lighter Fluid Myc before passing out cold MASNFASMFJ

TLDR. squirmy silly man, but also enjoyable to seeb with.

Gigi

OUGHEEEEEEEEAWBABWBAGOURGHR <- experiencing wife fevers

SO COZY HOLY SHIT

I refuse to believe she doesn't have a Big Comfy Bed. Silk covers, big thick duvet, more pillows that she knows what to do with. The bed is 3 times the size of her so when you catch her snuggled up in bed she truly just looks like those photos of Very Small Puppies in Very Large Beds MNASDMASND

So cuddly <3 you wouldn't expect it, since she makes a point of being seen as very Untouchable and Independent, but she loves to be held.

Her ideal state is nuzzled under your chin, feeling your pulse through your neck <333 a leg hooked around yours to make sure you're nice and close.

She takes a while to fall asleep, so she likes to go to bed early! Feel free to join her at any time, she'll just be dozing <3

If you do join her when she goes to bed, expect some,, very soft, lovey-dovey moments. she looks utterly adorable, all bundled up in her cozy little slightly-too-poofy nightgown and eye mask.

She Deserves 1000000 Cheek Smooches Or Else You Shall Die Of Love Disease <- her favourite part of the night. she will start giggling the moment she feels your lips on her cheeks and neck.

kisses her 1000. she's the most

Myc

HE OWNS A WATERBED I KNOW THIS FUCKING MAN OWNS A WATERBED

A FREEFLOW WATERBED TOO. NO SUPPORT IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE FLOATING.

It's actually pretty comfortable after you get used to it. you see the appeal, it's kinda got that Sensory Deprivation Tank feeling of weightless floating <3

Expect to be utterly Mummified in tentacles AKSDJASKJ

He insists that it's so that you don't go tossing and turning in your sleep and knock his ass off the bed but. You See Through His Lies You Understand. You See The Jackassery At Play Here.

OUGHEEE he has such a habit of like. swirling his tentacles gently around your skin. Not necessarily stroking back and forth, moreso massaging? if you have any knots in your back, thighs, or arms, they're gonna be gone by morning.

Fairly quiet? That doesn't mean silent though, he absolutely talks while you two drift off to sleep, but it's all in very quiet tones. A Little Shit, But Lovingly. (you may. gently have to bop him on the head and tell him to Shut The Hell Up Its 3 Am Goddamn Not Everyone's Job Is Just Sitting Around Getting Jacked Off MANSDMASNDMANSDMN)

Glenn

He snores like a foghorn I'm so sorry. the old man of all time

If you can look past that though, he's so fucking delightful to sleep with <33 most especially bc he loves when you lay on him

he says smth about how it Helps Unfuck His Back, but you're at least 45% sure that that isn't the main reason

(and you're right, it isn't <3 he just loves feeling your weight on him)

He loves just,, leaving a hand against your back, running up and down as you settle in to sleep <33 before leaving it to rest on the small of your back <33 love is so real and true.

his tail wags in his sleep

HIS TAIL WAGS IN HIS SLEEP

HIS TAIL WAGS IN HIS SLEEP

You'll see this most when he's sleeping on his stomach, bc when he's on his back his tail can't move, and on his side Everything Hurts At All Times KAJDKASJ

You'll see it squirm around the most when you're touching him <3 if you run your hands through his hair, or trace patterns on his back that things gonna be WHIPPING like a wheatstalk in a hurricane.

^ this also applies to. early morning and late night cuddles. in the morning its more of a,, slow waggle? like you'll just see it gently twitching under the bed, while you place kisses on his cheek BAWBBABWBABW <- if I talk about his tail any more we'll never be done

just the guy of all time <3 go sleep with that old man go do it go do it now go go go go g

JR

Let Him Sleep On The Booba

Truly he sleeps best with his face buried in your chest. what can he say, it's cozy as hell.

his ideal state is being Unconscious. A Coma. Laying horizontally being fed nutrients through a tube. He will nap on you at any possible moment

It's one of the time's he feels Truly Safe? Like he's constantly having to run around doing what the Shadow Board wants, doing what Rand wants, etc. Sometimes You Just Need A Little Nap With Your Partner To Be Okay Again

He IS freezing cold I refuse to believe otherwise. he runs Ice Cold and it takes him 15 minutes to warm up. feels a bit like cuddling a corpse until your body heat brings him back to Human Levels Of Warmth.

The things we do for love smh MNSFGKFAJSFGKSDJ

stupid rich expensive bed. imported silk sheets. mathematically optimised mattress designed in a lab to give him The Best Sleep Possible. he's rich enough to buy several countries, he might as well put it to use.

Alpha-Beta

OUGHEEEEEEEEAWBABWBAGOURGHR <- experiencing wife fevers part 2

He's such a heavy sleeper MY GOD. If you couldn't hear his internal systems whirring and clicking you'd think he was dead KJDSAKFJASDKFJDSA

It isn't really his fault - his 'sleep cycle' likes to be done in one solid stretch, to avoid file corruption, which means. His body just,, won't wake him up unless it senses Active Danger to himself or you.

It's fine! He'll wake up if the house is on fire. Probably.

'aww you're such an old man <3' <- he's going to push you into a woodchipper AKSGJSAKDJFKSDFGJ

He's so warm and cozy <3

Upside, personal heater during the winter. Downside, summer is hell for both of you (Upside, he sleeps mostly naked in summer to avoid Dying of Death Disease)

Hold him <3 hold him he won't ask but he loves being held, even more than he loves holding you (which is. Saying Something). The second he feels your arms wrap around him, maybe one of your hands gently fussing with his hair? Out like a light <3 its sweet, all those unspoken ways that shows how much he loves you <3

ABWBABWBAB I swear I did an ask like this before but. I don't care this was so cute. If you have any additions, go nuts!

[joelsbeard]

guilty 2 say that i’m a little obsessed with ur hcs🫣 so i’m back with another requestttt

could i ask for hcs about the affect reader has on young!joel? like it can be anything from her physical to emotional aspects, i js wanna know how down bad you think he is for his girl yk😩

you are so nice 🥺 MORE HEADCANONS COMING UP YEEEEE

edit: i spent too long building up on how you and joel met lol so I will so another part to this to answer it a little better

part 2

My AU hc is that you and joel meet in hs and have sarah and ellie lol, and my canon divergent hc is that you meet joel after he has sarah and is raising her as a single dad (since it's such a defining moment/trait for him i guess) and then you have ellie together ❤️ so her and sarah are half sisters. Idk if i'll ever get around to writing hc's for the second one since I'd rather focus on you and joel meeting in hs and having sarah and ellie ❤️ lol also less heartbreak for my pookie.

ANYWAYS, you and joel meet in hs ❤️ and honestly you both fall for each other at the same time 🙈 so yall are just pining for each other lol.

AND everybody knows it and its so cute

You probably grew up with him or went to the same middle school at least, have definitely thought the other one was cute but didn't really act on it, and yall have dated other people (not a lot, but both of you have dated 1-2 other ppl at least)

After both of you are single in hs, you for some reason end up noticing each other more in the hallways and stuff

Then you have a class together and ITS ALL OVER 😈

It's like all of a sudden a switch turns on and you guys start crushing REAL bad on each other

You've been in the same group projects once or twice and every time you interact one of yall is alwayyyys blushing

Most people ship you guys (except for the jealous girls and guys smh) and both of your and his friends try to play matchmaker and get you two to go out lol

As I've previously mentioned before, i do not see joel miller as a player at all, so he probably does get a little nervous around you sometimes, however I also think he's got his moments where he's smooth as hell and the rizz the fuck out of you LMAOO (uh daddy??)

He got you like this in class 😍🙈😋🥰 fr

Okay but you honestly have the same effect on him

On multiple occasions you find yourselves looking at each other in class hehe, and when you make eye contact you guys are like 🤭

I will clarify though, he's not out here hardcore flirting with you or anything, i think he's a little too shy for that

Yall get butterflies in your stomach whenever you talk to each other, meanwhile both of your friends are trying to hype you both up being like "just go out with him/her!!!" and being like "he/she totally likes you!" or "Somebody told me that they have a crush on you 🙈" but yall are too shy/blind to see each other's feelings lol

EVENTUALLY you guys hang out a little, and afterwards he asks you on a date, and you guys are SMITTEN with each other from then on

Yall become that couple in hs that everyone loves lol, they think yall are so cute together

Yes you go to prom together lol (can you tell I'm american)

I think it'd be cliche for you to get pregnant with sarah on your prom night, i think that'd also be a little too early for canon (joel becomes a dad at 19, so his baby mama (you!!) must've gotten pregnant around 18/19, so that's typically your senior yr of hs or after you've graduated)

To be continued!!!!

[rivangel]

Hey Gee

Congratulations on 2500 followers! I'm rather new on Tumblr but your blog is already one of my favorites.

If you don't mind, I'd like to request prompt 'Grapple' ="sender manages to pin receiver while play-wrestling" for Eruri please. It's from the fluff list but I won't say no if there is some smut too but it's up to you of course.

Thank you :)

thank youuu! awe🥺im glad!!! i really hope you enjoy this fic then, i had a blast writing it hehe

//canonverse, no warnings, tooth-rotting fluff | 1.0k

“Levi, did you know that the freckles you have are supposedly where you were kissed in a past life?”

Levi groans and yanks the covers up and over his head, instantly thrusting him into a sea of stuffy air. But it's effective in combatting the early morning chill—especially while wearing just underwear—and the ways Erwin chooses to mess with him not even five minutes after opening their eyes.

“It’s too early even for you to be spewing philosophy,” he huffs, muffled under the puffy covers and still raspy. Despite that, Erwin is warm and heavy at his back, like a bear.

“It’s not philosophy,” he chuckles. His warm breath tickles his bare shoulder where he has unfairly stuck his head, penetrating Levi's cocoon.

“Conspiracy theory then.”

Erwin kisses the nape of his neck. “It’s not a conspiracy when the proof is before my eyes that you don’t have any freckles. It’s a problem to solve.”

“Tch…” Levi shivers as heat from his mouth slides down, covering where his neck slopes. “You just had a good dream, didn’t you.”

Erwin whispers, “I have a good dream right here.”

“You cheesy shit.”

Nonetheless, he melts as Erwin’s palm slides down from his sternum and his lips travel around his neck. Being doted on by Erwin will never be resistible.

But then he moves to unconventional places. Like his bicep, and across his pronounced shoulder-blades.

Levi makes an unhappy noise. “In my next life it’ll look like I have chickenpox.”

“I’ll apologize to you in person.”

“I’m touched,” he retorts.

Once Erwin’s kisses begin to tickle, though, he can no longer indulge in his game. Locking his throat against the manic little giggles building up, he playfully pushes back on Erwin's forehead and escapes by rolling onto his stomach.

Erwin chuckles. He's in danger.

“Hold still, Levi. I’m not finished.”

“Ugh.”

Levi squirms under him as Erwin dots kisses down his spine. He's not willing to escape and expose himself to the cold. Not that he actually minds it when Erwin is feeling this playful, even if it's at the asscrack of dawn.

“Did you know where you have bruises are supposedly where someone beat the hell out of you earlier that morning?”

Instinct jabs at Levi that an attack is coming. He ignores it.

Erwin slows to an abrupt stop, and then snaps into action. He bears down more and kisses every spot on his neck, shoulders, arms—anywhere he can feasibly reach.

He gawks as a strangled giggle wells up in his throat—no!

Erwin is so massive there's only one feasible way to get some sort of advantage without using his full strength. His biggest weakness is close combat after all.

Levi begins to thrash, throwing his arm back at an awkward angle and jabbing at Erwin’s side until he lifts himself up enough for him to shove himself back, sending them both toppling onto their backs.

Erwin squawks in surprise as they land bouncing in a ridiculous display at the foot of the bed. He's starting to laugh now, though. In fact he locks his ankles around Levi’s shins, pinning him in place as their arms fight to restrain the other’s.

Surely Levi will win a game of play-wrestling—it's not even his first time doing so, even though the whole affair comes off as an oxymoron in his mind. He has more strength.

Erwin is Erwin, though, and wins by slapping his hand down and tickling under Levi's ribs.

“You shit!” Levi tosses his head away from Erwin's teeth and groans to bury a disturbingly girlish giggle. “Fuck you."

“A win is a win.”

Levi arches his back and manages to get his free arm underneath him. He sneaks this by making it appear that it's trapped.

“A win is a win,” he mocks, and takes a handful of Erwin’s crotch.

He practically coughs in surprise, giving Levi the opening to tear himself free.

It's weird, since this isn't even real fighting, but he never feels this light and powerful.

He spins around, planning to leap again when the full force of Erwin’s weight comes crashing down on top of him, planting him firmly on his back. He's not out of breath, but Erwin's chest doesn't make it easy to breathe. No matter how he thrashes his limbs, Erwin is simply too heavy.

Erwin laughs gleefully, floating around the top of his head. “I didn't intend for things to go this far. But I actually managed to pin you down.”

It sounds like he’s underwater. “Yeah, all you had to do was crush me.”

"What was that?" he teases.

Levi internally rolls his eyes. It’s not so bad being crushed by his massive pecs, but he’s not about to admit that.

Levi continues to beat on his back, defiantly at first, but then growing slower and much weaker.

“Hng. I can’t remember... Everything’s getting dark."

“Levi, you can’t joke about that!”

“I can’t joke, you idiot,” he croaks. “I’m dead.”

“No!” he laughs, a thick and boisterous laugh that Levi loves. He raises himself up a little, and dots kisses all over his face.

“Agh.” Levi tries to dodge from this onslaught and fails spectacularly. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m resuscitating you. It seems like it worked,” he beams.

Levi scoffs, and turns his head away as Erwin traces his pronounced jaw with his lips. Added by the pressure of Erwin’s navel against his crotch, he’s feeling less playful by the moment and more impatient for something else.

“I love seeing your smile.”

Groaning, Levi throws his arm over his mouth.

“You can’t hide. Your eyes crinkle when you smile.”

Levi hides his eyes then, but he's still smiling. “You’re so annoying,” he chuckles softly. His voice cracks. He’s not used to laughing.

“I’ll change your mind.”

“Hm?”

Erwin tongues the defined divots of his collarbones as he rocks forward gently, giving his cock friction finally. Levi truly melts as his teeth make an appearance, nipping at the sensitive skin.

“Mm,” he moans under his breath, squirming his legs apart as Erwin develops more of a a rhythm. Levi sinks his fingers into his hair, turning his head to give him more space. “Smiling gets you this hot and bothered?”

“Yes,” he answers pointedly.

Levi snorts at the absurdity, but he’s unable to fake annoyance for long as Erwin’s lips begin following down his chest.

main masterlist | eruri masterlist

[rip-us-xoxo]

Signs- Fred Weasley x Reader (REPOST)

Posted DECEMBER 06, 2020

Reposted APRIL 16, 2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Request- Hiya! I was wondering if I could get number eight from your prompt list with Fred Weasley? :D I love your work! Congrats on 100!!!!

A/n- Hiya! Omg ty!!!🥺 And of course you can! I hope you like it!

——————————————————————————

Warnings- arguing (it’s not bad at all, but just in case)

——————————————————————————

To say that Fred was busy is an understatement. The man barely got any sleep, the bags under his eyes were more prominent than ever, he just looked so exhausted. You wished you could help your boyfriend, but you were feeling exhausted too. The one confusing thing though was that you didn’t even work that much, you worked at a small bookstore down the way from Weasley Wizards Wheezes 4 days a week for 5 hours, which is much less than most people.

You were also gaining weight, which was weird as well because recently you had started to eat healthier for your health and because, why not?

You were just lying in your bed one night, Fred still in his office downstairs working on some paperwork. You were reading a book when all of the sudden your boobs started to feel weird, almost sore, which was odd because you haven’t done anything all day, you were too exhausted honestly, and the only time your boobs were ever sore was after a… night… with Fred. That hasn’t happened in weeks though.

“Aw shit,” you groaned and tried to rub your boob, only making you hiss in pain, they were really tender. You tried to go back to reading but with your boobs hurting like hell and the fact that your eyes were barely able to stay open, you decided to call it a night.

As you closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep, you heard the flat door open followed by two voices. “Oi, shut up, she’s probably asleep,” you heard Fred whisper. “Okay, okay, sorry. Night,” George whispered, you then heard a door close, you assumed it was Georges bedroom door.

Then you heard your bedroom door open and a bit of shuffling before you felt a dip in your bed. Fred sighed while looking down at his already “asleep” girlfriend.

“Night my love,” he whispered to you before wrapping an arm around your waist. He pulled you close to his chest before you finally let sleep take you over.

You woke up very early the next morning with the feeling that your dinner from last night was in your throat. “Oh my g-” you cut yourself off by quickly throwing Fred’s arms off of you and darting to the bathroom connected to your guy’s room. You threw up everything in your stomach into the bathtub.

You were trying to catch your breath all while trying to stay up on your knees, you felt so exhausted that you thought your limbs were going to give out. “Hey, y/n, are you alright?” you heard Fred next to you. You nodded your head and leaned your head against the edge of the bathtub.

“Come on, you get back to bed, I’ll clean this up,” he told you. You shook your head and said, “No you go, I’ll do it”. He was hesitant to follow through but he was really tired so he just complied and walked back to bed.

You cleaned out the bathtub before brushing your teeth and exiting the bathroom. As you were walking out your brain started to wander, “You could be pregnant. No! That’s crazy. You could be though. Oh my Godric shut up, you’re not.” you debated with yourself before getting back into bed with an already asleep Fred.

The morning came a little too quickly for your liking, but you had to go to work so you got up, got dressed, and ate before heading downstairs.

“Hi darling,” Fred greeted you. He and George were getting ready to open up the shop.

“Hi Freddie,” you yawned and slung your arms around his neck before giving him a light peck on the lips.

“You must be tired,” he chuckled when he looked down to see you half asleep against his chest. You just nodded your head and pulled away from him before giving him a tired smile.

“I have to go, see you later tonight,” you told him and exited the shop. He frowned at your words ‘later tonight’ but quickly replaced it with a smile and waved to you until you were out of sight.

————————————

The next few nights were filled with uncomfortable body parts and some mornings were filled with prior meals being thrown up. Fred had just assumed that it was a stomach bug and let you get all of your sicknesses out, allowing him to get more sleep before another tiring day of work.

You, on the other hand, didn’t think lightly of the sickness. They were signs that you had read about and been told about all of the time.

They were signs of pregnancy.

With Fred working all of the time, you were only able to get a quickie in before work one morning about a month ago, so there was a possible chance that you were. But it was highly unlikely. People try for years and still never get pregnant, so one quickie couldn’t possibly end up in you being pregnant, right?

You decided that the next time you didn’t have work you were going to go to Saint Mungo’s to find out if you were or not. They had just adopted a muggle technology called an ultrasound where they would see into your stomach and see if there was a baby in there.

————————————

The morning of your appointment you tried to sneak past Fred to just exit the shop but of course, he saw you.

“Hi, love! Where are you headed off to?” he asked and picked up a box off the ground before placing it back on the shelf.

You stiffened, “Um,” was all you said.

“You’re headed off to ‘um’ well that’s an odd name for a place,” he joked and hugged you, “now where are you really going?”.

“Um, I’m going to saint- I’m going to go to the bakery down the alley,” you looked up at him, hoping he wouldn’t ask any further questions.

“Alright then, get me something while you’re there. Haven’t had something sweet in ages,” he chuckled and gave you a kiss on the forehead. You smiled before quickly walking out of the shop and getting out of view before apparating to Saint Mungo’s.

————————————

Fred started to get worried when 2 hours later, you weren’t back from the bakery yet. “Maybe it’s just busy today,” he thought. But for the next 10 minutes, he couldn’t shake the bad feeling he had, “What if something bad happened to her?”.

He looked around the shop to see that there weren’t that many people, “George, I’m gonna go real quick, can you manage by yourself?” Fred asked. George nodded his head before turning to help one of the few customers.

Fred quickly hurried out of the shop and down to the bakery that you were supposedly at. He walked in and looked around, you weren’t there though. He started to panic and quickly headed back to the shop to inform George on the situation.

“Y/n’s not at the bakery where she said she would be, where is she?” Fred asked George desperately. “Behind you,” George chuckled at the panicked look on Fred’s face. Fred turned so quickly that if his head wasn’t attached to his body, it would have flown right off.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw you and ran over to you and hugged you. “Oh my goodness, you scared me! Where were you?!” he asked a little too loudly, making you start to tear up. You were already emotional from the news you received but his loud voice pushed you over the edge.

“Oh, don’t cry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice,” he cooed and hugged you tighter, “you just scared me a lot.”.

“That’s not why I’m crying,” you told him shakily.

“Well, why are you crying then?” he asked worriedly. You didn’t answer, you just grabbed his hand and led him up to the fault and into your room.

“Do you want a baby?” you asked him once you closed the door. He put a perplexed look on his face, “Why? Do you want a baby?” he asked. You didn’t answer his question again, you just took the ultrasound out of your pocket and handed it to him.

It took him a second to put the pieces together before his eyes widened, “You mean… you’re…?”, “Pregnant!” you said with as much enthusiasm as your shaking body could give out. He looked up at you with the biggest smile on his face, “We’re having a baby?”. A smile etched its way into your face, “We’re having a baby,” you confirmed with jazz hands.

He sat the ultrasound on the bed before grabbing your face and kissing you passionately. You lifted your arms up to then wrap them around his neck and pull him closer to you. After about a minute, you both pulled away to catch your breath.

“I have to go tell George!” he exclaimed before darting out of the room. “Fred!” you called out after him, but he was already long gone. You chuckled before sitting down on the bed and grabbing the ultrasound.

You looked at the picture for a few minutes. “Only 8 more months until your daddy and I get to meet you little one,” you said while rubbing your belly. “And I couldn’t be happier,” you heard from the door.

You looked over to see Fred smiling down at you and George standing behind him.

“Congrats you two, I thought I heard something that morning” George teased, earning a smack on the head from Fred. After the three of you laughed at George’s comment you thanked him before Fred walked over to you and sat next to you.

He put his face by your stomach, “Hi little one, I’m your daddy. I’m really excited to meet you.”. He then looked up at you and kissed you before putting his head on your lap, allowing you to run your hands through his hair.

“This is so cool, I’m going to be a mom!” you exclaimed and scratched the back of his neck. “And you’ll be a great one at that,” Fred gushed before lifting his head to give you another kiss while rubbing your belly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo

[unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin]

Hiya! For the Valentine's requests can I request Yandere!Kenny taking out an afab!Reader for their first official date, unbeknownst to the reader after years of stalking from Kenny, that eventually turns into smut from Ken being so excited to finally have her as his own? Love your work bestie, keep it up 💖🥺

First Date

Warnings: Yandere!Kenny Omega, Talks of stalking, Smut, drugging, soft Yandere, kidnapping

Taglist: @fiskers7136 @peachmango-kombucha @kcloveswrestling @bellalutionn @xkennyxomegax @tummyyellin @legit9thlunaticwarrior @auburnwrites @melissahausen @thesusbunny @writtingrose

“You really don’t find it even a little odd that this guy just met you asked you out on Valentine’s Day?” Your friend questioned while you looked through your closet for something to wear. A man, Kenny, had quite literally run into you at the store. And after a few minutes of talking he had asked you out to a local Italian restaurant

“Stop worrying. Red or purple?” You held up two dresses for her to look at.

“Red. But I’m serious. Valentine’s Day is an odd day for a first date.”

You knew she was probably right. How many guys would actually look to take a girl out on THE day of romance? But he was cute, and had even chose your favorite restaurant. It was either a hell of a coincidence or you were soulmates, and the promise of a free meal wasn’t to bad.

“Does it matter? I was going to sit at home watching tv all night, at least now I have something to do.” You argued while undressing and slipping the dress on. Red was definitely the right choice.

“And don’t worry, you’ll be on call if I need anything.”

—————

You glanced around the restaurant as you walked in, hoping to catch a glance of Kenny.

“How can I help you ma’am?” The host asked, a smile on his face.

“My Date told me to meet him year. His name is Kenny Omega?” A bit of panic rose in you as he looked for the name. You couldn’t imagine how embarrassing it would be if he hadn’t shown. “Right this way ma’am.” He led you through the restaurant, an to a booth in the corner. “Have a Wonderfully evening,” he offered before walking away.

Kenny stood up to greet you, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “I’m glad you came!”

His smile made you feel warm and you took the flowers. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” You sat down with him, laying the flowers on the table. “Honestly, I was worried you wouldn’t show up,” you admitted with a small chuckle. Your hands ran over your lap, smoothing the wrinkles out of the dress.

“I think I’d be the stupidest man in the world if I didn’t show up.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, lightly kicking his foot under the table. “Save the mushy stuff, it’s still early.”

———————

You moaned lightly while Kenny nibbled at your neck, you back pushed against the wall. The small glass of wine he had poured you was abandoned on the table, while your hands unbuttoned his dress shirt. Once it was open your hands ran over his stomach, scratching lightly. “Come on,” he mumbled while picking you up bridal style to bring you into his living room. He set you down, and you took ahold of his face to pull him into another kiss. As his mouth worked against yours he reached around to unzip your dress and let it fall to the ground, leaving you in only your bra and underwear.

He pushed you down onto the couch, pulling his shirt and pants off before getting on top of you. “You look gorgeous,” he mumbled while pulling your bra off to grope them lightly.

“Me? Look at you,” you licked your lips lightly while looking over his body. He caught your lips again, one hand supporting his weight while the other reaches down to push your underwear down your legs and free his own cock.

“So fuckin hard for you,” he whispered against your lips, feeling you Buck your hips up lightly to rub against him.

“Quit waisting time then.” With your permission he led himself into you, both of you letting out moans. “Feels like magic,” he groaned. He started with slow movements to get you used to it, but he started to get impatient. He pushed his legs into the couch and began thrusting hard, almost pushing you up the couch. “Shit!” You cried, grabbing his shoulders to try and steady yourself. “Fuck- please?”

“Fuck, me too. Gripping me so well, like you were made for me,” he groaned. “Watched for so long, and you didn’t disappoint.”

“W-what?” You frowned at his words, your foggy brain trying to catch up with what he just said. Watched? What did he mean.

Your mind went blank again when he reached down to rub tight circles on your clit. “Can you cum for me? I want to feel you all over my dick,” he groaned on your ear. And it was just enough to push you over the edge. You bit his shoulder lightly, crying out as you came. It only took a few more thrust before he pushed in and released inside of you.

You laid there for a few seconds, waiting for your mind to clear, but it didn’t. “What-“

“Shh, it’s ok,” Kenny mumbled, kissing your forehead. “You’ll understand tomorrow,” he promised.

“Why- What?” You questioned again, black spots dancing in your eyes. Your mind felt like it was moving at half the speed it should be.

“It’s ok, Just sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised.

[luveslasher]

A START OF AN OBSESSION WITH YOU

PART 4

[I just found out my first post has 12 likes!!! Thank you so much, I'm so happy I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach I'll post the rest soon for you all!!! Love you all 🥺💗]also I forgot to state that the reader is the exact gender you are, or you identify as!! <3

TRIGGER WARNINGS!!

*Blo0d

*Bite

*Emotional/crying

Skip if you're sensitive! :(

You quickly try your best to open the doors and enter the rooms looking for the end of the exit.

Right after you entered the other room the lights flicker, It looks like Rush is going to come after a while. This early though? You forget about those thoughts and hop in the closet.

As you wait for Rush to enter and leave, something grabs your shoulder tightly definitely leaving you with a mark.

You flinch in pain trying to get words out of your mouth, "HIDE...JACK.. is it you? are you both here?"

Nothing, just silence.

You feel heavy breathing above your neck, a tight hold on your shoulders getting more tighter and digging through your skin, while another pair holds you down. you start to move around in the small closet. Not realizing that RUSH is no longer far but outside your closet, you could see his big smile and grey aura staring at you through the cracks. menacingly standing while watching you.

What have you done to anger them?

You start to lose your vision, it gets more blurry and pixelated. Getting a few yelps out of you, which the entities start to enjoy your sounds. You spin yourself to get away from their hold.

Then out of nowhere, they kick you out of the closet. Making you fall and hit your shoulder, already bruised and in pain. Why are they acting so aggressively toward you? They were so friendly at first...You can't trust these entities anymore, they have snapped.

RUSH is no longer in sight he left while you were fighting back not wanting to watch the rest of you terrified.

You stand up in pain and tiredness, rushing to the other doors.

Right after you enter the room, there's a narrow hallway, lights flicker, and you start to hear screams. You try to run but it gets you trapped in a repeated chase in a dark hallway, a large translucent blue spirit appears in front of you, making your strength slow down and decrease.

You try to run to the back but then appears the spirit 'HALT' you dash to the front, which feels like forever.. it finally ends... Oh gosh, what's happening?! you start to break down.. 'it isn't time to give up..' you think while wiping tears off your face.

You get a hold of yourself together, you stand up quivering. as you stare at the door for a while, trying to work up the courage to open the door. As your hand strokes the doorknob, hurriedly you pull the door open silently not wanting to be noticed by the other entities.

The room you have entered looks normal for a bit, you see a strange shadowy figure hiding near the corner, making a quick movement to catch your attention. You see a long black slimy tentacle lobbing a ball of slime toward any light source.

Suddenly the room goes pitch black, you hear scatters around the room. You try to grab your flashlight in a quick motion, but accidentally drop it, causing it to roll over on the ground. Which alerts you to panic, you feel a bunch of slimy wet tentacles grabs hold of your shoulders. As you try to scream, a slimy tentacle wraps around your mouth causing you to be silent, mumbling behind the tentacle.

You know well that this is 'SCREECH', as you try to get out of his hold, you struggle. You feel a cold slimy thing with a little stickiness.

SCREECH lays his tongue on your shoulder, licking it to taste you. Enjoying your taste he starts to drool around your shoulder, he pulls back causing you to shudder. Giving you time to finally breathe and process what the hell is happening. After, a few moments of relief.

Out of nowhere, you feel intense pain around your shoulder, SCREECH takes a bite of your shoulder, causing blood to spew out. Sharp teeth gripping around your skin. SCREECH takes his saliva out to fill your cut up with a sort of liquid that is causing you to be dizzy and lightheaded.

You then swing your legs around, and you feel something bump into your leg. You kick the unidentified item into your hands, you grab ahold of the mysterious item. It's the flashlight you lost! you grab it tightly and aim at SCREECH, turning it on it flashes onto SCREECH, he screams in pain causing him to scatter around the room and disappear from your sight.

You cower yourself into a ball, shaking tremendously...why you?

Why did they have to be so obsessed with you?

You grab your injured shoulder...you remember the bandage you found before. You rip the bag open and start fixing your shoulder up. After bandaging up, you try to stand up but pitifully stumbling to the ground. What on earth did SCREECH put inside your wound?

As you try to walk correctly, an uncomfortable pain makes you groan in distress, an intense headache that you can't help but cry. You grab onto the shelves, feel only a little strength in your bones. You feel yourself angry..so angry that you start to grip onto the shelve.

You feel determined to go through all the doors even if you have to face obstacles. Only to leave this hell.

You feel much more confident leaving this area. You slowly walk to the door flashing the light to the entrance, you open the door and get in.

Nothing in sight, hopefully, there will be no entities in sight. As you walk in, you stop in your tracks as you hear a scream behind you, that's not as far but not close either. This soon?! You already had to deal with the closets entities, RUSH, SCREECH..

You throw your hand to your forehead, you sigh loudly. You look around the room to enter a closet...hopefully JACK, and HIDE aren't there..

But much to your surprise..there were no closets in sight, the screaming was starting to get even louder.

You look around the room, trying to find a hiding spot. When you discover a vent, you quickly grab the cover off and couch down and slid in, you wait for a while until the entity runs pass you. You close your eyes shut, praying it was RUSH, and not AMBUSH..

The screaming is getting a so close, your eyes rightly closed. The screaming is so loud you could feel beeping through your eyes, it hurts so much. You open your eyes slowly only to see not RUSH...but AMBUSH standing right in front of the vent.

[END OF PART 4]

Credits to Pancake lucy helping me with this!!!,this is soon going to end with maybe 2 or 3 last parts?

But I will make part 5 and post it tomorrow for all you to enjoy!

Please tell me if I made any mistakes once again!

SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER!

[ifidiedinadream]

Bless you for taking BC prompts! I've loved your writing ever since 🥺💜

So, may I request some Joonas x Reader X Joel!?

Where Joonas and Joel are "sharing" the reader, but their wildest fantasy is to have a threesome with both of them and they try to make it happen somehow?!

Maybe even for a gender neutral or fm reader?

(Absolutely okay if you don't feel comfortable with that!) I'll read it anyway 😘

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG LIAM hopefully you'll like this enough to forgive me 💕💕

When you tell Joonas, it's with your stomach full and a glass of red wine in hand. 

It's date night and he invited you over. He prepared a lavish dinner for you and wore one of his best outfits. It's a lovely night, far from over - you still have to consume the main course and it has nothing to do with food. 

Joonas' hand is sliding up your thigh as he's sitting so close to you his body heat is warming you up. He isn't kissing you (your mouth occupied with the rim of the glass), but you can tell his parted lips are yearning for yours. 

"Baby," you say instead after taking a sip of wine. "There's something I wanna talk to you about… a suggestion." 

He sits back, alert and curious but not preoccupied. "What is it?" 

"You know how… Joel and I also… we -" 

"Yeah, of course," he says. 

"And like I was thinking that maybe someday we could… all together…" you're eyeing the wine in your glass, spinning in circles from an imperceptible movement of your wrist. You take a deep breath. "Like, I was thinking about having sex with you and him at the same time." 

Your face is hot, and as much as you'd like to blame the alcohol, you just can't fool yourself. You fail to look at his face. 

"A threesome?" you hear him ask. 

"Yeah, I guess." 

"Naughty," Joonas says, voice teasing. You lift your gaze then, even more embarrassed, but in his face there's fondness behind the more evident amusement. "I'm game."  

"You are?" 

You knew persuading Joonas wouldn't be a problem. He's curious by nature, if not a little hedonistic; he's self assured and wouldn't turn down some extra spice. 

"Hell yeah I am," he confirms. "Have you talked to Joel already?" 

Now, that's something that could become a problem. Behind Joel's cool, aloof facade there's a man who's a bit insecure at times, and it's not like he minds you dating Joonas as well, but sometimes you get the feeling he wishes you weren't. 

Not because he's jealous, but because he fears you could draw comparisons. 

He never talks about it (probably knows it's all in his head and doesn't want to put any pressure on you) but you could pick it up quite early in the relationship. And you've been doing some thinking… 

"Not yet," you say. 

"You think he'll say yes?" Joonas asks, a bit unsure himself. They're best friends after all. 

You shrug, letting him know you share his doubts. "It might take some convincing," you say. "But I wanna try." 

*** 

When you tell Joel, it's after sex. 

Some great, restless sex, you've actually been going at it since you woke up this morning. You think it's the perfect time - there's no way he feels inadequate now, after he made you scream all day. Still, you'll be cautious, careful to choose the right words. 

"Babe," you say, head on his chest after his heartbeat has evened out from the last orgasm. The sweat is drying on his skin. "There's something I wanna try." 

He doesn't answer verbally, just delicately touches the bottom part of your face, searching for your chin to lift it up. 

"It has to do with Joonas, if it's okay that I bring him up." 

You've had this conversation before - he'd said it's fine, but given the nature of your request, you reckon it's better to pick the careful way. 

"Sure, what about him?" 

"Would you be down for a threesome?" 

You were already looking at him but you raise your head now to see him better. His eyes are wide. 

"M - me, you and Joonas?" he asks. You bring a hand to the side of his face, hoping it'll soothe him. 

"Yeah," you say. "It's been my wildest fantasy for quite some time… but, you know, you don't have to say yes, I totally understand if you feel uncomfortable." 

"Is it - is it 'cause I don't give you enough on my own?" Joel asks. You predicted it, but can't help but widen your eyes at him. How can he think so after today? 

"Absolutely not, darling," you tell him, voice calm. "You give me everything. I just think it'd be extremely hot, having both my boyfriends on my body at the same time." 

A shiver runs down your spine at the mere thought. Joel looks pensive. 

"There's nothing I want more than to please you," Joel mutters, gaze low. "But I'll most likely freak out if I hear you moan louder at something Joonas does… I know myself. I hate being like this but -" 

"Hush," you cut him off, finger on his lips. "There's nothing wrong with who you are. That's why I'm saying it's okay if you say no. I won't be mad, it's just a fantasy after all! And sex should feel good for everyone involved." 

"But I wanna make all your fantasies come true!" 

You lean in and kiss him gently, grateful that he's so thoughtful of your needs. "I actually thought that it could help our relationship," you say when you pull away. "I know you see a threat in Joonas when it comes to sex. It's totally unjustified and maybe a threesome could show you that I enjoy the two of you equally… or rather: differently, but an equal amount." 

He's lowered his eyes again, a blush adorning cheekbones and nose. He looks adorable and you can't help but smile. 

"Maybe you're right," he says. "We can give it a try but - but -" 

"We can stop at any time if you feel like it's becoming too much for you. I'm sure Joonas will understand too." 

Joel nods; he trusts his friend. You search for his eyes, cupping his face in both hands when they're looking into yours. 

"You can think about it," you say earnestly. "You don't have to answer now. And if you decide you wanna do this, we can discuss negotiations to make it as comfortable as possible for you. Okay?" 

He nods, a faint but sweet smile playing on his lips. 

*** 

A couple of weeks pass without either Joonas or Joel mentioning it again. You don't want to put pressure on Joel so you don't bring it up, and it makes no sense to talk about it with Joonas if Joel still hasn't made up his mind. 

You're supposed to stay at Joel's place today. It was an exhausting day at work and you can't wait to be in his arms, but as soon as you open the front door a distinct ruckus makes you think you'll have to change your plans. 

Is there anyone else in the house? 

Joel's voice is loud from across the house (is he in the bedroom?), he sounds upset or maybe nervous. Someone else is speaking quietly, so much so that you can't recognize the voice, and it seems like they're trying to calm Joel down. 

You walk over to the bedroom then, curious as to what is going on. What you see makes your jaw drop. 

Both your boyfriends on Joel's double bed, Joonas totally naked, Joel with only his underwear on. Joonas is sitting across from him, talking to him patiently, while Joel is blushing hard and pouting, saying things like, No, I don't need a safeword! This isn't fucking BDSM, and Oh God they're gonna dump me so fucking hard after this and you're gonna ridicule me forever, to which Joonas just sighs and facepalms. 

You clear your throat so that they acknowledge your presence. They turn in your direction, silent now. 

"Uhm, hey, baby," Joonas says. "This was supposed to be a sexy sight but I reckon it must be everything but." 

"What's going on here?" you ask. 

"Remember the threesome thing?" Joonas says. "Well… surprise, I guess." 

You can't help but snort; the sight is indeed more silly than it is sexy. Still, something twists inside you, making you forget about the stressful day altogether.  

Before you can forsake yourself to lust though, there's one thing you need to make sure of. You walk over to Joel and sit down next to him, trying not to glance at his chest and groan at how broad it is, maintaining your eyes locked with his instead. 

"Joel, baby?" you say. "Are you sure you're okay with this? You know we don't have to." 

"Yes… yes," he says. "Joonas and I talked a lot during the past two weeks. I'm ready to do this now." 

You look at him earnestly because his words are convincing but his face is not. 

"I mean this," he says. "I'll just… stop you if it gets overwhelming. My desire to make you happy is stronger than any fear I may have." 

"Oh, love," you say and kiss him. "I appreciate it so much. You know Joonas and I will never judge you; you know you have nothing to prove, don't you?" 

Joel nods and smiles. It's like your kiss gave him all the strength he needed. 

It's Joel who leans in now, connecting his lips to yours. You let yourself melt into the kiss and then a pair of hands is on your shoulders from behind, peeling off your jacket. You turn around and kiss Joonas, letting Joel pick up where he left off and undress you. 

So it begins. 

When you’re naked, your mouth still on Joonas', you rest your hand on Joel's cock through the fabric of his boxer briefs. He's getting hard quickly. 

You abandon yourself to their touch immediately, lips hands and bodies, and it’s a lot - the sensations doubled and there’s no way you can keep a clear head. That’s how you find yourself on all fours, with no memory of how you ended up like this - Joonas is in front of you on his knees, erect cock creating two 45 degree angles with his legs and with his upper body. You look at it and then at his face, flushed even though you just started, until a strong, intense sensation blooms in the lower half of your body. 

Joel has shoved himself inside you from behind, making you hiss at the sudden feeling. Joonas is smiling down at you, loving to see you in such a state. He wastes no time guiding his cock to your mouth, and you happily take it in. 

“Is this what you thought it’d feel like, having both of us inside you, baby?” Joonas asks on a waning moan. 

You don’t let go of him as you nod at the best of your capabilities. Joonas smirks; Joel, who had kept still, starts moving into you. 

Before you can start blowing Joonas in earnest, Joel’s thrusts knock the air out of your lungs, making you whine irresistibly around Joonas’ cock. Joonas grabs at the back of your head forcefully then, having loved the feeling and definitely wanting more. And obviously it comes, because Joel keeps on fucking you, hard and good, and your throat just lets out sounds and vibrations on its own accord. 

“Fuck, Joel,” Joonas says, “keep fucking them like this, it feels fucking incredible.” 

“Yeah?” Joel asks, breathless. “Are you enjoying it, baby?” 

You let go of Joonas’ cock then, with the intention of answering Joel, but at that moment he starts rocking his hips faster, making you bite your lips so hard you almost draw blood. Your watery eyes are closed and you miss the chance to catch a glimpse of Joonas’ face now that you’re far enough from his body to be able to see it. His hand is back on your head instantly, bringing you back where he wants you. You distantly think that Joel seems to have forgotten his doubts and insecurities and you’re happy about it. 

You suck Joonas off, can barely tell his and Joel’s moans apart. Your throat is welcoming of him, used to his shape and size, just like your lower body is used to Joel’s cock and his way of fucking. Together it’s inebriating, something more than just the sum of its parts; and it gets even stronger the longer it lasts, the closer your orgasm gets. Both know you so both can tell when you’re close, and you almost expect them to switch positions for some reason, but it doesn’t happen; they keep doing what they’re doing instead, only urging you to be good and come for the both of them with soft, breathy voices broken by moans. 

Their voices alone would be enough to push you over the edge, but Joel’s dick is right there to help you reach that point faster. He’s fucking you even harder now, his balls hitting the back of your ass with every thrust, strong hands gripping your waist firmly for leverage. You drop Joonas’ cock when you come, groaning loudly as your whole body shakes, jolts of pleasure coursing through your system like electricity. When Joel comes as well, his moans are distinct, but you’re so sore down there that you barely feel his cum fill you up. 

You let yourself fall to your face, exhausted and panting; Joel takes himself out and you feel empty but satisfied. 

“Babyboy?” Joonas says quietly. Your eyes open with difficulty, still overwhelmed by your orgasm; a certain tiredness has dawned upon you. 

“Mh?” you answer. 

“Can I finish inside?” 

You find yourself snorting blissfully, as if high. You nod and Joonas goes behind you, taking Joel’s place. 

He starts fucking you; it’s hard right from the start but you’re so overstimulated that you’re barely feeling it. Joel is now sitting in front of you, looking flushed and sweaty in his recovering state, absolutely gorgeous; he reaches out to gently touch your face and you smile. 

“You’re amazing,” Joel says softly, all but only mouthing it. You grab his hand and squeeze it just as you feel and hear Joonas come, his body, attached to yours, shaking and writhing. Joel squeezes your hand back, grateful - the squeeze telling you everything you need to know. You’re happy and relieved. 

When all of you have recovered, you find yourself lying in bed between the two of them, Joonas having asked if you and Joel are both alright, both answers being positive. 

“I don’t know what I expected,” Joel remarks, “but it definitely wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.” 

“We told you,” Joonas says. “Always making a fuss about the normalest of things.” 

“Normalest?” Joel asks. 

“Yeah… come on. You’d do it again if given the chance, wouldn’t you?” 

“I… yeah.” 

You turn to Joonas and you both chuckle. 

“Of course,” Joonas says, before leaning in and kissing you. You sigh in the kiss, holding Joel’s hand on the other side. 

You feel so loved. 

[aquareegia]

so I heard you were looking for Ghost song recs

I also took a long time to get into Ghost because metal's not a go-to genre for me, and quite frankly some of their stuff just sounds downright goofy (there's a reason the phrase "Scooby Doo chase music" exists). But I ended up giving them a chance & now I've given them my soul & half my bank account.

Cirice is easily one of their best (I mean, it won them their Grammy!). That entire album, Meliora, is fantastic. It's probably my favorite in terms of overall aesthetic (Metropolis-esque) and theme (the absence of God, religious guilt/trauma, etc.). It also, imo, the best Ghoul uniforms & masks to date.

I would also like to mention that, like Sleep Token, Ghost has lore, but unlike Sleep Token, the lore continues to expand (at least more concretely) as the years go on. Each new album has a new frontman (well the last 2 are the same guy but now he's ascended but anyway), and starting with the 4th album there are also now "Chapters" on their Youtube channel further expanding the lore. And it's some wild as shit lore. I think it was the lore, the antics of the Ghouls, the overal theatricality of their performances, and the creativity of the fandom with some of the vaguer parts of the lore that ultimately made me give Ghost a chance.

ANYWAY, actual song recs sorry:

Mary On A Cross. Yes, the tiktok song. It's actually a damn good song about smoking weed and going down on a girl. What's not to love?

Faith. Probably my favorite of their last album, Prequelle. It goes so hard and for WHAT

Square Hammer. The first Ghost song I ever heard. Also very pop-like & annoyingly catchy. I was humming this song at work and my coworker whipped around and was like "YOU LIKE GHOST?" and it's all been downhill since.

Year Zero. I'm always weak for a choir accompanying metal, and there's something so damn ominous about this all-male choir calling upon the six Lords of Hell. It's definitely one that sounds better live - anything from the first two albums generally sounds better live because of the early recording conditions the band had to go through, especially on this album.

He Is. As someone who grew up in a contemporary Christian church having to hear & sing a lot of generic af pop ballads with Jesus lyrics, He Is is the ultimate in blasphemy. It's beautiful, it sounds like something your cool pastor with his acoustic guitar would make the youth ministry sing every Sunday and that they'd make you teach hand motions to the VBS kids to...and then you realize it's about the Devil.

Hunter's Moon. This was written for Halloween Kills, and a different (unfinished lol) version appeared in the credits for that film. It's just a fuckin' banger, idk what else to say.

Call Me Little Sunshine. Similar to Cirice in a lot of ways, it's lyrics carry double meaning & it has a sinister undertone.

Dance Macabre. It's very 80s rock and again, very catchy. The Carpenter Brut remix is also a banger.

lastly, a personal favorite that isn't one people usually recommend...Deus In Absentia. This one's one of the goofy-sounding Ghost songs (in my head I compare it to something out of Repo! The Genetic Opera), but it has easily the most devastating bridge section I've ever heard.

You might notice I skipped a lot of the first two albums. Idk your tastes in metal/music, but I personally found it easier to start at the end and work backwards. It made the, well, silliness and simplicity of the first two albums easier to stomach and eventually enjoy. Lots of great songs on them as well, they're just not what I usually recommend as a starting point.

Christ this was way too wordy. Sorry about that. Hope this helps!

Damn that's thorough! The detail!! The links!! Are you an actual angel? 🥺 Thank you, I really appreciate that! I'm gonna sit down this evening, make myself cozy and go through all your recommendations! ♡

[cherrypeaking]

cherryy~ seeing txt last night was quite the rollercoaster >o< for starters, me and my friend wanted to get to the venue early but we lost track of time and ended up getting there just as the show was starting 😭😭

as we were going through the metal detectors outside we heard them performing blue hour and my stomach DROPPED i screamed and one of the security guards told me to keep it down because “there were people trying to sleep outside”??? like huh? 😭 anyway it took a while for me and my bestie to find our seats bc the way the arena was laid out was a little weird but also… when we got there, there were other people sitting in our seats 😐😐 i felt kinda bad for making them get up but like.. those were OUR seats so.. 😶

here’s the view we had from our seats, without zoom!

i screamed my face off at every song idek if my voice is still intact i haven’t spoken at all today 😭 but there’s no way in hell i’m posting any of the videos i took i was screaming and barking in every one of them 😭😭😭😭 it was so much fun though there was even a dad and his daughter in our section!

however beautiful txt are in pictures and videos, they’re even more gorgeous in real life i couldn’t even believe they were real 😵‍💫😵‍💫 like even now i’m having a hard time believing it,,

i was thinking about you through the whole concert 🥺🥺 i wish we went together, i don’t think i’d ever stop holding your hand or kissing you 🥺🩵 like being with my girl while i see my boys? that sounds like a dream come true!! 🥹🩵 let’s make it happen one day~

i love you so much my cherry bear 🥺🩵🫶🏾

crystal gem 🥺🥹💎🩷

i’m so glad you had fun at the concert 🥹🩷 omg haha i can’t even imagine you hearing blue hour from outside i’d have freaked tf out 😭 what do you mean people are trying to sleep outside?? were there people camping for day 2??

there were other people sitting in your seats wth 😭😭 fhsjfndnf omg i can imagine how awkward it must’ve been >< at least you two got your seats :3

the view is amazing honestly i’ve said it so many times but any seat is a good seat… AAAAAH DARLING YOU SAW TXT 🥹🥹🥹🩷🩷🩷🩷 IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU 🥺🥺

i’m lowkey curious about the videos tho >\\\< hehehdhshfjd i know i’d scream so loudly too if i were there 😭😭 so i can’t blame you for screaming too!! awwww a dad and his daughter? 🥺🥲🩷 that’s so goals tbh

you’re making me so envious i need to see them irl too aaaah!!! the idea of seeing the boys for real makes me freak out 😳😭🩷 especially cause now i’d be thinking oh hi taehyun yes it’s me yes i write smut for you yes 😵‍💫

if i were there with you i’d hold your hand tight 🥺🥺 and kiss your pretty cheeks and lips for sure mommy i hope we get to live that one day please hehe 🤭🩷 hopefully without any backlash tho 👀

i love you too my crystal clarity 😚🩷💎