#it’s kinda fun to go through these old messages ngl

[vent-uwu]

“If I treat you like shit, why haven’t then why haven’t you broken up with me long ago”

Her literally 5 mins later: *calls me slurs for having a freeze type fight/flight response*

[natalchartnurtures]

So tell me Taylor, Who am I gonna take to be my ~Lover~?

Want a sneak peak into who YOU'RE gonna take to be your significant-long-term partner?

(pile 1 to 3- left to right)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover..

Let me say this. You're opening card is the ten of cups, right of the bat.. there's this beautiful love I feel between the two of you. Their presence in your life would either happen as a consequence of you resolving some of your deep subconscious beliefs that kept you limited in terms of love or.. some of you beautiful folks I feel your person will help prove your limiting beliefs around love wrong. This part of your relationship may feel a lil scary and intense but your love for them will end up helping you all the way through.

Oh wow.. I'm getting that you and your person will take on life together, almost with this feeling of being comrades. Especially during your more difficult and uncertain times, your relationship with them will only get stronger. Its giving Bestie energy ✨️ Don't we love that around here? Hehe

They really help you calm down if you're prone to anxiety and/or overthinking. Their energy has a really calming effect on you. Which is probably one of your favorite things about them 😊

I'm getting a strong message of this person being radically different from your previous partners. Maybe you are used to partners who are possessive, lack emotional intelligence and always gave you a reason to worry but I feel your person is a FAR cry from this kinda energy which will surprise you at first I'm ngl 😅 but once you get on board with the newness they bring, you'll have a beautiful relationship with them :')

"Equal give and take" I hear. Aw.

I feel like before you did the inner work with your subconscious mind, you attracted partners that weren't all that healthy but I see that as soon as you put away your wounds and old unhelpful beliefs that you might have picked up from childhood, that may have kept your energy stagnant, to rest they will show up into your life. You won't be able to miss it!

Side note: Ya'll reeeeeally remind me of Zendaya and Tom Holland. I kept having visions of them in my mind while I was channeling for your pile.. Isn't that something 👀

That was your reading, pile 1. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 2:

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Ooh.. I feel your person being highly intelligent and just really smart overall. They seem quite deep to me.. their energy is direct and doesn't really play around. They definitely come off strong to you when you first meet them. They don't seem to enjoy small talk or socializing "just for fun" they seem to take their social life really seriously which is why they might keep to themselves mostly having a very TIGHT group they let themselves mingle with.

I have to say this.. your person has developed an incredible relationship with their mind. A quite healthy one after years of suffering mental agony they have figured out how to master their own mind and as a result they seem quite mature and come off quite stable. They're giving off a strong regal vibe, like, they have a lot of self respect and/or a lot of people seem to respect your person. Your person strikes me like the kind that not everybody necessarily likes but somebody who is respected and revered (in some cases) nonetheless. Wow. Strong vibes. They could be quite an intense person too ngl. They might like to dip their toes into psychology or simply put, the Scorpionic arts or.. just be interested in the occult from time to time 👀

They may not believe in love before they meet you tbh.

They like to believe in what they have evidence for and seems like before meeting you they simply hadn't find evidence of real love.. aw, that's low-key so cute!

Your person comes off quite practical and earthy. They may move in a very strategic way, keeping their plans (and their life in general) mostly to themselves.. which is giving PRIVATE energy. They seem hella private 👀 haha

So you know they're gonna keep your relationship to themselves like it's a scared, precious thing that they gotta safeguard :')

Meeting you will POSITIVELY flip their world upside down. If there's one thing they don't understand, its love and romance. When you walk into their life, being your cute ass self, they won't know what to do with themselves and despite them being successful in their lives prior to meeting you, they'd feel lost with you. You make them feel.. dumb haha. Or they perceive it that way. You might think it to be ridiculously cute lmao.

They're definitely gonna feel A BURNING passion for you right from the get go and that's how they'll know that you're their person!

That was your reading, pile 2. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 3:

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover

So.. you guy's person and you come together in an interesting way. This is immediately telling me that your person is someone you don't expect to fall in love with. Ya'll might know each other for a while (depending on each person for how long exactly) and the feelings develop overtime. For some this person might reveal their feelings on accident while being drunk one night or something along those lines lmao (very specific, so take that with a grain of salt) lol but yea it's gonna be one of those really cute friends-to-lovers type situation with you and your person or enemies-to-lovers too maybe? 👀 Some KANTHONY vibes coming through #Bridgerton <3

Haha anyway.

You won't foresee a relationship between you and your person before it happens :p

Your person.. seems to have endured a partner before you (or many partners) who didn't really care for them. This may even be a feminine friend/family member as well. They broke your person's heart in a significant way and may even have manipulated you person into staying in the relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) which they eventually stood up to. Seems like a Karmic situation too btw. This Karmic situation, really helped your person grow and evolve into the person who was truly meant for you tho 😊 yay. They've healed from this previous heartbreak and somehow this road of healing brings them to you. Ah.. The reason why this previous relationship is coming into picture is because- they probably meet you while healing from this old situation.. they'd be hard at work trying to resolve the pain the went through and their reward for doing that is.. your love. AW. STOP IT! THAT'S CUTE <3

Ya'll remind me of that song "You Belong With Me" by our queen Taylor Swift. The lyrics are playing through my head now as I channel your person's energy. You could have additional messages in that song 😊

That was your reading, pile 3. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[huffle-dork]

JSE Community Greet

Preferred name: Huffle! If you know my irl name don’t use it please unless you actually know me irl uwu

Preferred pronouns: She/Her!

When did you start watching JSE? (this is not a competition, old or new you're a member of the community) I started watching Jack probably around when I started watching mark so like- mid 2014-2015? I was a much bigger fan of mark though and really only saw Jack in collabs- I think I thought he was a tad bit screamy even tho early mark was also very loud hvhgh I got super into it Fall of 2017 though!!

Why did you start watching JSE? right after WKM came out I was so invested in egos cuz of dark and wil and ego content always overlapped between Jack and mark! I had no idea who anti was in the dark fics I was reading but I looked it up and just- fell in love with everything Jack did- it was really perfect timing- I had just graduated with my painting degree but hadn’t drawn for fun in a couple months and I was feeling so listless until I found the fandom and it got me drawing again!!

What's your favourite things about the channel? I love seeing sean get super invested in the games stories cuz I’m the same way! And just the way he does stuff is so ADHD and he also got late diagnosed so just… it’s comforting- I also just love listening to his voice :)

Do you have a fave ego? MARVIN THE MAGNIFICENT MY BELOVEDEDDDD!!! Jackie is a very close second but I love my cat boy sooo much I dunno why I attached myself to him so much but god I dunno if ive ever loved a character so much- which is funny cuz I remember when I was learning about the egos until sean actually named him I was like- this guy isn’t an ego he’s just Sean in a cat mask! 😂

What type of community member are you? (lurker/artist/theorist/editor/shitposter/author etc) artist uwu but also a fic writer though I’m not as constant with that as I wanna be ^^; (Pssttt all my fics are in my description ohhh you wanna go read them so badly especially if you like ausss~)

What else do you enjoy? Doll customizing is my latest fixation ngl 👀 if I could find not ugly boy dolls I kinda wanna make some egos or my swap boys also video games I wanna try to stream again more!!

Are you open to nice messages and new friends? Sure!! I’m not the best conversationalist sometimes but you never know when you’ll meet a good friend! Hell my best friends all met cuz of some asks on here through the community ^^

Find the original prompt here! Thanks @archivefullofyoutubers what a fun idea!!

[pacifymebby]

I find it a bit funny that people are demanding a lot of Sam stuff in the groupie AS IF ITS NOT A FREAKING CATB PLUS SAM FENDER FIC!!! Like, it’s implied from the beginning, you never said it’s a Sam fic nor did it turn into one just because he showed up in it lol. This fic and Miss groupie only work and exist because it’s a multiple character thing and that’s the fun about it. I love the dynamics you creative with all of the men and sure I might have favourites and get a bit more excited to read those chapters but still 🤠 love you and it, don’t worry about weird anons 💜

Oh my I've always found this kinda strange too ngl, it's like a weird phenomenon since I came back after my hiatus, I think because my original groupie readers are mostly not here anymore and like the majority of catb fans have fizzled out, so all that's left of tumblr is old catb moots (who I'm not sure actually still read fics anyways) and Sam fans that have found the groupie later and want it to be a Sam fic.

But for real I feel like I too have favourite characters but the whole fun of writing it is that miss groupie is like my polar opposite and does all the crazy slutty things I could NEVER do irl, like it's fun to write this completely unrealistic wild character and live vicariously through her! So I'm so reluctant to let her settle with just one character cause it just won't be as fun to write. I like the chaos dynamic she has.

I think if I do decide to start that other story about the reality TV show of bar workers that are like og female characters and Sam/catb then I'll be more inclined to start steering groupie to a close (although I never really intended for groupie to end, it was just going to be this long, each chapter can be read mostly individually fic that was essentially a string of crazy one shots) (tbf it just isn't that anymore anyway) but the reality TV show will be just as wild as groupie I think idk

Thank you for your supportive message btw, love that you love groupie as it is hehe <3 <3 <3

[misqnon]

hi, i just read all of ur posts tagged as misqnon's one piece liveblogging and it was so much fun T-T. im here to rant about one piece and im sorry.

i really love seeing people react to content i am caught up with and hold close to my heart.

i got into the 800s in the anime and stopped watching, took a break and then read the manga up to around 1060. but last month i decided to read the whole thing from the beginning and it is genuinely SO WORTH IT.

after u have caught up completely its super rewarding to go back and look at previous chapters bc its constant "oh my god look what was foreshadowed here??" and "now i understand the context behind this!!!" and "this interaction is so much more meaningful now that i know their relationship!!". yes it did take me a whole month of nearly nonstop reading to catch back up but i have 0 regrets.

wano and the arc after it are both super fun and interesting and i think ur gonna love it. the lore is crazy. i hope u dont see any spoilers bc going into it completely blind will probably be way more exciting, especially with the most recent arc since its kinda suspenseful and mysterious,,.

anyways thats all i have to say how do you end these things.. take care!!

AAAAA ANON THIS IS SUCH A FUN MESSAGE TO RECIEVE THANK YOU...

I ended up talking a lot so I'll put this under a cut lol

I used to be the person who said I would never watch one piece 😭😭 I've been into anime since I was like 12 and I'm almost 24 now (fuck . That's like half my life) and obviously it's always been on my radar but I always thought it was 1. Too popular 2. Too Long 3. Hated how oda draws women lmao so I was fine ignoring it and only knowing the basics from just Being On The Internet

I think sometime early on I caved and attempted to watch it- I got to alabasta and stopped bc the anime pacing wasn't doing it for me (though I liked it up until then, but didn't LOVE it)

cut to high-school where a couple of my good friends liked it but we never really talked about it, it was a lifelong interest for one of them bc he'd started reading it on like 4th grade

Well I'm still friends with them (shoutout to sam and seb) and they convinced me to watch one piece film red with them in like July or August of last year bc they were showing me the songs and I, ado fan bc I'm a retired weaboo and a vocaloid Stan, was like "haha that sounds like ado" and they went "IT IS!!!!??" so I had to watch it for her.

again, I was like oh this is fun I like this :^) but no IMMEDIATE interest, more of a passive thing... until the live action came out a month or so later and I watched it just because and DAMN I FELL IN LOVE FAST

I went back to the anime and rewatched the beginning, then skipped back to alabasta where I had left off years and years ago and now I'm Here 🧍

I watched up through part of dressrosa before I started reading the manga, and now I'm doing that while watching certain episodes of just the parts I really wanna see animated

It's been. So Fun

I am now that person who's like Hey You Should Watch One Piece. I get it now. I so get it lmao. And you know the weirdest part is that with it being divided up into arcs like it is I find myself thinking it really doesn't feel that long!?!? Am I insane,

anyways. It's been a while since I was in an active fandom or even in a fandom at all - ESPECIALLY such a big one!?! (I was in college for 4 years and Busy).

but it's. Crazy. I'm writing fanfics and joining discord servers and I've never done that before. it's been very fun and rewarding tbh...I don't like a lot of things about oda and aspects he included and ofc one piece isn't perfect or unproblematic but it IS a really awesome epic of a story about friendship and found family and anti authority and its just.

I'm also a person who's always loved reaction videos or just even seeing otherppl react to things I like so I RELATE AND IM SO GLAD I CAN BE THAT FOR U...

I'm ngl as I've been reading I've been wanting to look up some old one piece forums dated the time certain reveals happened bc I want to see how people felt as this shit came out holy Shit....

it's additionally funny bc this blog is about 10 years old and has amassed a decent amount of followers over the years who were just into some of the other random stuff I've been into but I know a fair amount of them were thinking we were on the same page of not being into one piece and now here I am. Ruining that. And with the pervert character as my favorite no less. lmao SORRYYYY YALL <3

I'll leave u with this message I sent into the discord I share with some friends the other day, none of which really watch op, when asked to explain something about the show. In fact, I think the reasoning for this message was BECAUSE I was explaining to a friend just how much oda foreshadows things!! jinbei, kaido, haki, sanjis backstory, ALL being mentioned by name or referenced DECADES/YEARS BEFORE APPEARING ON SCREEN...HUNDREDS OF CHAPTERS APART....I could rant on more but I'll stop for now.

thank u for the message and feel free to dm me to talk about this silly show anytime bc its sunken its claws into me 😭

[blanknamed]

happy happy new years to everyone :))

just wanna say i really had an amazing year despite the rough start and end of 2021. i hope everyone stays safe and healthy!

here's some moots i'm extremely grateful for and i hope the sentiments similar under the cut

BACK TO NAVI

my discount sbi moots aka @redhoodsoot @thatplanetmarz @genesisrose74 and @sharkie-pog !

i like to see them as my very first friends and my tumblr family :)) i'm so glad to have met them and have them deal with my nonsense without any sign of (serious) judgement.

they all also write some pretty banger fics if i'll be honest and are the main reasons why i decided to come out of my shell and write. i also love the little banter i have going on for each and every one of them, albeit most of it being siblings-esque banter.

they really helped me grow in terms of confidence in my writing and confidence in myself outside of the computer! they helped me learn that caring for yourself is not at all selfish and people are kind (and not weird old men) no matter where you are or what your life is like, you just need to let yourself learn who's good enough for you :))

next up is @hufflepuff-writings

kait was probably the next person i decided to reach out to on a risk of not knowing if she'll ever respond. they're a ray of sunshine i love talking to when i manage to catch her on the same time i'm on tumblr as well. i was so honored to be tagged into her event and just being in the same prescence as them in general so i hope to experience more in the near future!

the one and only @mcytmushroom

met shroom by chance and honest to god we practically message each other on a day to day basis now, usually on discords, most times on snap. i was really happy to make them comfortable enough to let us get as close to each other as possible and i really, really hope we stay that way because, honestly, i don't know what my life is like with this snarky little shit.

and then here we have @inniterhq

edgy teenager. that's all i can say. also, i remember seeing sapnap's feet on my feed because of art's little... anons. very horrifying, but a core memory i can't shake when i go on tumblr so this is a thank you but also fuck you /j for putting that there. i hope getting hammy cheek'd was good payback for the unsolicited feet pics.

along with edgy teenger is other edgy teenager @mitzimania

just wanna point out to everyone that i turn 21 next month and not some anceint age mitzi tells y'all. like art, i saw mitzi through my search feed and thought vir writing was really good. ngl, i was lowkey shy to even say anything to mitzi for a while before hiking up my big boy pants and actually talk to vir before i realized mitzi is a little edgy shit lord like art 😐

astrology bestie @earthtooz

the minute crystals were mentioned i just knew earth and i would be tight. also said "that makes sm sense" when i said i mainly had aquarius in my placements and that kinda made me laugh. i hope she enjoys my crystal updates even though they're lowkey annoying WUXHWH if you want your charts read at some point, please go to earth if she has time. also one of her fics made me cry so

and to my favorite steamer @cherios

like most of my mutuals, i stumbled into cher's streaming by chance and thought it was funny to make stupid jokes in chat. i haven't gone into streams in a while due to some family related blockades (i'm sorry cher 😐💔💔), BUT cher has some awesome stories and an even more awesome personality so please follow and enjoy the posts she makes!

also, my favorite streamer @mikeyinnit

very patient. lovely moot. please love mikey and his writing i think they deserve sm attention. they are also very fun to watch in terms of streaming and is working very hard with making connections! love love love mikey please love them as much as me :))

next up is @strawberrymilkgeorge

finally @sunniewrites

fizzy usually gets bullied by me and shroom ngl (esp with that one sven comment WUDHEH im sorry if that's too much LMAO) BUT fizzy is amazing, funny, and overall the sweetest person i met so i love having met them and i hope to talk to her more since everyone lowkey disappeared near the middle of the school year starting, including me. i promise i'll be more active on your server, fizzy ;-; i'm just a little awkward WHSHAH

@basilly , another edgy teenager

one if the contributors on the "arielle is old" joke but i couldn't have it any other way. just like mitzi, i was scared to approach basil until i realized that all of them remind me of littile chihuahuas harassing me 😌 /j we haven't talked much lately but i hope once basil sees this they have an amazing year!

a ray of sunshine, pun intended. hurt sunnie's feelings and you're seeing the end of my bully stick (a promise, not a threat). very happy of have met them and gracing my feed constantly!

some more people i'd like to thank: my anons! don't think i haven't forgotten you guys i miss y'all 😩 playlist anon is the most active (and is also a beta reader for one of my fics so very grateful for my ading for that) BUT i love every single one of y'all for asking to be my anon and i hope to hear from you guys more :))

i'm also very grateful for my followers! we're at around 700+ right now and that's honestly amazing! i'm so happy my writing makes you guys happy enough to follow me and reblog my post you guys are the best ♥️♥️

hope you guys have a happy new year and hopefully we interact more! i'm sorry if i dropped off the face of the earth sometimes; college is a stressful part of my life but is something i find necessary to help me meet my end goals in life. love y'all!

12/31/2021 [10:01PM EST]

BACK TO NAVI

[oh-my-may]

Nishinoya, Bokuto, Oikawa and Atsumu as your boyfriend hcs

requested by anon: hey hey heyyyy! may i request for 'as a boyfriend' headcannons for nishinoya, boukto, oikawa and atsumu please? thank u if u get around doing this !! xoxo

hello there!^^ at first I thought about splitting this post up into 2 parts because usually the ‘as your boyfriend hcs’ are a bit longer but  I decided against it so enjoy~ (also atsumus and oikawas are a bit longer because they are my faves and uuuh I am weak lol)

Nishinoya Yuu:

one of the most energetic and happiest boyfriends!!

Will literally love and cherish you until you die and probably even after that, I’m being serious his love and affection for you have no end

though in the beginning of your relationship, or even before it, he always gets very shy around you which is unusual for him. That’s how he knows you’re special to him, because you make him doscover a whole new side of him!

The secret admirer type of crush, everyday you’ll find a new small present waiting on your desk. Your favorite drink, a snack, a small cute note, a new pen when he noticed your old one didn’t work anymore, a small bunch of flowers... It’s just so cute!

But it takes forever until he actually asks you out. In reality, it happens a lot different than he imagined. Normally he made sure he was in school waaayyy before you, but that one day he overslept and was in class just a few minutes before you. or so he thought. You just walked in the moment he placed the small package of milk on your desk and you both just stare at each other for several minutes and he’s about to faint until Tanaka saves him and gets him out of class because “he might develop a fever, his face is all red and sweaty”

2 days or so you don’t hear anything from him, until he manages to get over himself and ask you out in the tiniest voice. He has to repeat himself several times until you understand him properly because the poor boy was so nervous he spoke too fast and too quietly

BUT AFTER he finally gets you to be his he’s just the smiliest baby!!

Will never, not ever, let go of your hand. At least not when he can avoid it.

Always wants you to be on his side, like at practice and such. You can be guaranteed to be found at every single game that Karasuno ever has again, even practice games. You’re always there cheering for him and he’s at his 150% every time! The team loves his energy on the field but it’s a biot exhausting everywhere else :’)

ANWAYS definitely a lot of activity dates! I’m not saying that he would say no to a good old cuddle session, but he’s just always bouncing around, so going to the arcade or comign up with fun games at the park is normally what you do after school and practice!

Tanaka is the accepted third-wheel of your relationship. Whenever your over sat Noya’s he ends up showing up, too a lot of times or he joins in on fun dates, but it’s never uncomfortable or weird. You two actually become really good buddies and he always tells you funny stories about Noya! Also him and Kiyoko and you two go on double dates and it’s!! So cute!!

Did I mention that Noya is the king of skinship and PDA?? He really couldn’t care less who’s around you or who might be watching, his eyes are always on you and his hand somehow magically finds his way to your ass lol

No but on a serious note he just can’t live without you and sometimes he can get really anxious if he doesn’t find you in a crowd or your hands don’t intertwine immediately when he reaches for you. He can’t explain it, it just doesn’t feel good about it when you’re not around him.

Protective!! WILL jump on anyone that looks at you the wrong way or makes you feel uncomfortable. he 100% has Tanaka’s support for this.

Did I forget anything?? That should be about it for my little noya rant, he’s just too cute I’ll hug him to death~

Bokuto Kotarou:

chaotic™

When I tell you he did NOT know what he was doing when he asked you out. Just listened to Akaashi’s and Kuroo’s advice and it somehow worked out for him. Several months into the relationship he’s still not entirely sure how he got you, but he doesn’t complain

(psssht, it was his clumsy charm mixed with some kind of natural charisma that got you, but don’t tell him that he will not shut up about it)

When he first saw you he was at practice and he couldn’t help but stare because how can a real human being be so pretty?? and he actually missed a ball, got it slammed to his head and well what can I say? You almost got him passed out the first time he saw you

He got soooo embarrassed afterwards help the poor boy. The brightest blush ever appeared on his cheeks and ears and his hair immediately went emo mode straight down hanging into his face

The whole situation was so chaotic and messy you couldn’t help but turn around and look for the source of all this trouble, just to find the silver-haired boy staring right at you and hitting you someplace special in your chest, literally taking you aback

Afterwards the coach scolds him for being inattentive and you leave the gym in a hurry, because you as well are embarrassed. But it doesn’t take long until Akaashi gets send to get your number and you can’t help but giggle as he tells you about how Bokuto literally won’t stop whining about you being the prettiest human being on earth

That’s how you started texting and bokuto might just be one of the most random texters (is that even a word??) ever. Like yeah, in the beginning he’ll mainly talk about volleyball and send you sweaty pics of him (no, not these ones!) but then again you’ll get a text at 3am on a thursday and it will be like a really bad picture taken of the moon and it will say like “thought about you” and in the next message 3 seconds later he’ll talk about wanting to be a werewolf or so. And you have to laugh so hard you can’t even be mad at him for waking you up

And that’s basically how you’re relationship works, too. A lot of random texts, especially “come over?” ones or “watch me at practice! please???” and you can’t ever get yourself to say no to him, because he’s always so happy when you show up!

Ngl it kinda distracts him too, but he’s in ace mode when you watch him because he feels the need to impress you even when you tell him there’s no need for him to because you’re already impressed by him

Loves hugs! Hugs after a victory or a defeat, hugs after school and practice and hugs as greetings and goodbyes... Just hugs, so he can entirely engulf you in his big and strong arms and you basically vanish somewhere between his arms. Loves pressing you close in the whole process of it, so close that you can barely breathe for a second, but you actually love it because it just shows his love and affection

9/10 times you’re also the cure to his emo mode. Just very rarely even you can’t help him and it’s upon himself to get over it, but with your presence near him and the opportunity to cuddle onto you while reflecting about himself, he’ll get over it eventually

He’s also the biggest cuddler there could possibly be. most of your dates are stay-inside ones because most of the times he’s exhausted from practice and games, so a chill night in with a good movie or series and some nice snacks really do it for him. He can just cuddle onto you however he likes and he especially likes brushing his fingers over your warm, soft skin. It makes him feel very at ease.

Yeah so that’s about it C: Please just love this smol bean to no end, because his love sure as hell also has no limit

Oikawa Tooru:

People might think he’d be very blunt and cocky and all when he has a crush, but I’m telling you - he’s actually the softest boy ever and prefers to keep his distance at fir4st to observe and understand his feelings for you

So what I’m saying is: As soon as he realizes what exactly his feelings are for you, he gets a bit shy and distant but blushes whenever he sees you

At first he thought you were just one of his obsessed fans and he didn’t think much of it, but then his gaze always wandered over to you, no matter if it was during a game or a practice or at school or when he saw you somewhere else... It was like you were haunting him, in like the best possible way, as he soon realized

It takes him forever to get himself to talk to you, because he wants everything to be perfect. He chooses to approach you in school when he found you alone that one day, but oh well, it totally didn’t go as planned. His glasses fell off his nose when he was trying to be smooth, he hopelessly stumbles across his words and his face got so red you thought you were talking to a tomato. Still, it kinda did something to you. You found it endearing, really. So you could just smile and nod when he asked you to got out with him and the biggest sigh of relief ever™ leaves his lips

He’s still hecka nervous for your first date, asks all his friends and team mates about their opinion on what he should wear and do, where should he take you etc... It takes him so long to decide that you just take it in hand and suggest something and he just rolls with it and turns out to be one of his favorite dates ever. A day at the park, though halfway through it got messy because it started raining and neither of you were prepared, so you had to run and share his jacket to go someplace dry and you end up in a library and neither of you can hold in the giggles when the librarians tell you to “tone it down.” It’s also your first kiss between seemingly endless rows of old books and your hearts flutter like crazy afterwards and you’re just speechless because... OIKAWA IS A GREAT KISSER idc what any of y’all think

so it just becomes a regular thing for him to pull you aside in the gym hall or school halls or whatever and kiss you senseless for his entertainment because your reaction is always 10/10

He may act smooth around others, presenting himself as the cool confident boyfriend, but really... He’s just the softest boy for you and a hopeless romantic on top.

Play with his hair and he will never leave your side ever again. The cutest pink hue will spread on his cheeks the first time you do it and with time you learn more about his soft spots, like brushing your lips or fingertips over his neck or the ticklish feeling he gets when you touch his waist.

Loves to pick out movies and series for you to watch. Most of them are alien or conspiracy theory-themes but you don’t mind, Oikawa is happiest when he can connect several things he loves, like you and aliens, or you and volleyball.

You’re also gonna have to accept the fact that he spends a lot of time on volleyball and that he will come home late and not always have time for you on the weekends. He will, however, especially love it when you work your way through his schedules to meet him, like when you come to watch and support him at practice. He will take extra breaks to pull you close and calm himself down in your arms.

Iwaizumi will definitely become one of your closest friends and you’ll both spend time shit talking about Tooru (ofc in a loving way) and Oikawa can’t help but smile seeing as you get close to his best friend~

He’s not exactly the most jealous type of boyfriend. He does trust you a lot and just makes sure that everybody always knows he’s your boyfriend. Trusts you with handling certain situations, though he will keep an eagle eye on strange boys and men near you and won’t lose no time chiming in when he feels like it to safe you

Of course there’s a big decrease in the numbers of his fangirls after everyone finds out you two are official, but Oikawa actually prefers it this way. As long as you are cheering for him, nothing will be able to stop him.

The bestest and softest boyfriend, not to be dramatic but I’d die for him

Miya Atsumu:

Okay now this one is actually smooth. Or so he thinks.

He’s quite obvious about his crush and feelings for you, so like he won’t hide it and use every possible opportunity to talk to you and flirt with you. And when I say flirt I mean he will use every bad pickup line you have ever heard somewhere

At first you’re really really turned off by it, but you do give him credits for being so determined and never giving up. He even takes advice from all his team mates and even though Osamu and Suna are very annoyed by his behaviour, they help because they think it will get better once you two are dating.

So every once in a while he will bring you some self-made delicious food along with a smooth line and one day he catches you off guard so hard you choke on some rice and then blush so hard you run out and you just leave poor Tsumu standing there wondering??? Are you okay? Did he just make you blush?

The next day he comes apologizing with the biggest bouquet of flowers right in front of everybody in your class and you get soooo embarrassed and the way he’s standing there is lowkey just adorable so you have no choice but to say yes. You almost catch him blushing right there, as well, because he really didn’t expect you to say that right then and there

Now when I tell you, he’s the most likely out of these 4 to ditch volleyball practice to sdpernd time with you. Most of the time it isn’t even intended, he just forgets time until he either gets a text from his brother or Suna or Kita OR you realize how late it is being like “Tsumus shouldn’t you be at practice since like 2 hours?” “Oh really? Guess not today. Now come here.”

He gets very used to having you close to him, just like Bokuto, so he will start whining when you can’t make it to a game or you’re busy with school work. Will definitely also make surprise visits at your house, like he’ll just randomly appear in front of your window at 3 am?? Are you spiderman??

Not to be angsty on this fluff post but uuhh fights with him can get very bad because he’s a stubborn child and sometimes you’ll catch him not talking to you 3 days after an argument because he needs time to cool down and reflect. He’s in the wrong 4 out of 5 times and he knows, but just give him time and he’ll be fine again. Shows up with the biggest face of regrets and food he threatened his brother to make and he’ll just blob down into your arms mumbling apologies over and over again. Cute.

Jealousy over 3000. Grows red with anger and balls his hands into the fist the moment some guy makes his way to you. Is on your side in 1 second will make no effort to hide his distrust towards the other guy. Sometimes he’ll get a bit too protective and you just have to tell him that and he’ll let you do your thing, though his gaze will never leave you just to make sure

Biggest show off. Will pull you close or hold your hand in public, grinning like and idiot and constantly placing kisses on your knuckles because you’re his baby and he loves you

Before he serves at games he will look right at you and have the most smug smile one has ever seen on his lips before smashing the ball righ into the opponent‘s field with 0 chance of them to safe the ball. It’s lowkey hot.

Also he gets very pouty and whiny when tired after a long day at school with practice or after exhausting games! Will constantly place his head on top of yours, saying it’s “too heavy” and he literally just covers your body with his.

The type to unconsciously pull you closer while sleeping!! The cutest habit! Always makes you smile when he does it!

A lot of your dates involve either volleyball or playing video games (sometimes Osamu or Suna join) and it’s most of the times just really chill. From time to time though, he’ll get the urge to do something else and next thing you know is you’re wall climbing or on a roller coaster or something. It’s either all or nothing with him concerning dates lmao

Also loves bickering! Will sometimes annoy you on purpose to see your cute face and you’ll have small arguments about who stinks more or whatever and then it always ends with “i love you though”

djsklsl I’m stopping myself now because this was getting too long because I am biased™

[the-darklings]

coa one year later & self-reflection

(*drags out a creaky metal chair and plops down on it heavily*)

Hi. It’s me, ya boi skinny--

Wait, wrong one. Do over.

Hi, it’s me, Kat, and I’m not dead. Clearly. Today being one year anniversary of COA has kinda put me in a reflective mood, so I guess I decided to sit down and just...talk about some things, thoughts and feelings I’ve been bottling inside for a hot sec. Especially given how radio silent I have gone on here and people deserve a bit of perspective. 

And before anyone starts worrying, it’s all good, and I’m still around and currently in good health for the most part. 

So, let’s take it back to the start. Regardless of how dramatic it may sound, we need to go back a year for that. 

By technicality alone, COA actually turned one year old on October 12th. That’s when the first part was posted. However, the reason I’m treating today as the aforementioned birthday is simple: I had no intention of this story ever being more than a short two-parter. I told this to the discord gang already but COA was only going to have two parts. V was going to die in Tokyo and the rest of the story follows glimpses of John throughout the movies and it’s her ghost that haunts him. Skipping ahead, it was going to have a bittersweet ending of John eventually dying, having completed his task, only to be greeted by V, Daisy and Helen in the afterlife. A peace of sorts. Then, I realised that, well, no. I have more to say on this world and intrigue about this placeholder character V kept growing. 

November 1st happened and I made a very last minute call to continue COA but with the added pressure of doing it during NaNoWriMo 2019. And boy did I. Most of the story was figured out during that very intense month. I posted Part 2 on this day a year ago because I was so eager to share it. Perhaps, in retrospect, a bit too eager. 

For those of you who may not know this, I work as a writer full time for my actual every day job. I’m the main writer for an original webcomic called In the Bleak Midwinter on Webtoon.com and have been for almost two years now. Getting what is essentially your dream job is amazing. I’m very lucky on that front but it also taught me stark realities of having your job and only hobby overlap. It’s a dangerous creative mix. Especially because I was not used to being constraint in what I create or the feeling like I have to please anyone else. Writing as a job is a whole other avenue of creative exhaustion. I love my job a lot and am very, very lucky to have it but it doesn’t change the fact that those initial stages made me fall back on COA a lot for creative freedom that I craved so desperately. To an unhealthy degree looking back on it now. 

But going back to November last year. NaNo time. I did it. Finished on the 24/25th I believe. A juicy final count of 52k+. All while maintaining a weekly update schedule for a fic that usually hit around 10k per update, if not more, even during those early days. Add writing an original story on top of that. Writing every day for hours on end (we are talking 10-12hr days) without any time for other hobbies or time for myself in general. I kept pushing and pushing and pushing. Losing weight and sleep in the process. I think the thing that convinced me that I should continue doing so is the fact that the outpour of support for COA ended up surpassing anything I ever expected or even dared to hope for. I’m not a huge numbers person but the outpour of love and just sheer investment in the story and characters blew me away. John Wick fandom is on the smaller side and has been going through downtime when I posted COA so my expectations were...well, small tbh. I like keeping expectations low to avoid any disappointments in general. But I’ve also always had an issue of being a massive 0 or 100 kind of person. If I love something, it consumes me. In this case, it brought me as much joy and freedom as much as it was steadily pushing me towards the ultimate crash. 

That being said, I can’t thank you all enough for every comment, like, reblog and message and fanart. You’re the reason I got this far. With your support. It brightened some really dark days for me.

But. 

To be frank, it’s never been about you guys. I never wrote or pushed because I felt like I had to appease anyone. That creative mindset is pure poison and I long since learned to let go of it. I kept pushing and kept working myself to the bone because I liked it. I liked how reading peoples’ responses made me feel. I liked the addictive nature of reading all the comments and theories after an update. I loved the idea of brightening peoples’ days and giving them something to cheer them up after what might have been a shitty day. Even if that was at expense of my own time/well being. But for a long time, it wasn’t. I love writing a lot but facts remain facts. 

It was beyond unhealthy and burnout wasn’t a question of if but when and that when was approaching at neck-breaking speed. 

So we come to the end of November. Part 4 has just come out. People were invested and I was invested alongside them. I was just finishing up Part 5 which (back then) was the biggest single chapter I’ve ever written and god I still recall my sheer dread because that was the beginning of Santino being established as a LI. Looking back on that now, it’s downright hilarious how worried I was about the reception of him and V together after John.

So honestly, I hit burnout at around Part 8. Because that’s the first time I recall struggling with writing a chapter. Part 8 came out on December 28th. I had a brief break for holidays. But my mistake was not taking longer back then. Because I continued writing with a barely healed burnout. Followed by almost a year of struggling and continuously creating through that state. It wasn’t like I eased off the pressure, either. Oh, no. The chapters grew in size, the world and the characters with it. AUs amassed quickly and while I adore every single one - again, I didn’t know how to pace myself well enough.

I’m spiteful though. The more the chapters struggled the more I pushed against the burnout. By the time Chicago arrived, however, I knew I was in trouble. I ended up writing 43k+ in a span of 2 months, I believe. And while to some it may not seem like a lot given the time frame, it’s a lot when you’re burnout to a crisp & writing an original story for work + deadlines. Which I was burned out and then some. Chicago was something I was looking forward to writing for months. I have built it up since Part 4. It was a long time coming. So while I’m still proud of it, I would be lying if I said that some scenes were not sacrificed for the sake of keeping to my invisible schedule that no one but me actually cared about. You guys have always been patient. I never felt pushed into anything. It’s always only ever been me doing the harm. 

Chicago was the downwards spiral for me mentally. I felt like I was failing to live up to my own expectations. That people were drifting away from it. I was plagued by the thought that the story I poured so much into was falling apart and growing weaker. Which this has always been an issue with me: I am my own harshest critic. Always have been. In fact, I’m a downright mean little fucker when it comes to just tearing at myself. I know writing is for fun - and it is - but I still like the idea of being proud of my work which only made everything worse despite the love each update received. 

This takes us to the beginning of June. Specifically, June the 2nd. Or, as I like to call it: Kat Makes Another Impulsive Decision but This One Actually Works Out For the Better. On this day, I created the COA Discord server. And damn, I’m not sure what exactly I was expecting when I did ngl. I did it for fun and as an escape more so than anything. But somehow it ended up being the best decision I made in a long while. I know some of you are reading this. So love you lots, dorks. It’s such a privilege to be able to call so many of you my friends even outside of COA now. That little community has given me some of the best memories from this year and helped me to crawl out of my own metaphorical pit I was stuck in. Mentally, I’m doing much better than I did beginning of this summer. Which could be summed up as a constant self-hatred cycle and a feeling of inadequacy. 

That, however, does not mean my burnout magically disappeared. If anything Chapter 17 just put a nail in the coffin so to speak. 2020 has been a shitty year just across the board for obvious reasons I don’t need to go into here but that can only partially be attributed to my mental state. Chapter 17 was...exhaustive. To say the least. But I was determined to stick with my vision and not split it up. I was also starting to be a bit more forgiving towards myself in terms of how long I may take to write it thanks to guys on discord though the feeling of failure and worry never quite faded fully. I’m proud of Part 17. Truly. But that was also when I hit rock bottom creatively on COA. It drained me completely. 

I tried writing Part 18 for weeks after, day in and day out, not getting past the first scene and hating every word I wrote. So I took a deep breath and stopped. Figured I let it marinate and wait instead of trying to piece one of the most crucial chapters in this story like some Frankenstein monster two sentences at the time.

So my solution was simple: give myself some distance from it and write other things. Get my spark back. Of course that’s always a good idea. Having multiple creative escapes is the best thing you can do for yourself creatively. There was just one tiny little problem. 

I was still burned out. Still am. The problem went deeper than just being burned out over COA. I was burned out over writing itself. 

Which is an issue for a person who only has writing as a creative outlet.

I don’t have any other way to express myself. So I was stuck in a runt, trying to write because it’s the only thing that makes me genuinely happy even when I really shouldn’t have. And let me tell you. It’s a shitty fucking feeling. My burnout worsened. I had a thousand ideas but every time I tried to get them down it felt forced, fragmented, and weak. Repetitive and dry. Now, this is also in part because English isn’t my native language, so my vocab is limited as a result, but I hit that sweet rock bottom in that regard, too. 

So, I worked on V (but in her OC form Clara), Lucien and The Elites. All those characters have grown so much since you last read about them. I have multiple original projects planned down the line that will feature all of them existing in their own world, with their own stories and no longer constrained by JW canon.  

Which, finally, takes us to the end of October and beginning of November 2020. 

I was convinced that the best course of action was to do NaNo again but with an original story this time (involving V). Suffice to say, it took a grand total of maybe 5-6 days and hating every second of writing it while also feeling like this project I’m so passionate and excited to write (still am) is just...going down the toilet to be blunt, to realise I may have made the wrong call. 

Still, the stubborn ass that I am, I pushed through. Convinced I can get into it if I just keep going. The realizations that I am sharing with you right now won’t have been possible if it hadn’t been for a rather curious turn of events about a week and a half ago.

I recently bought a gaming laptop, all in preparation for Cyberpunk 2077 dropping ofc. But, in the meantime, I kept recommending a game to a friend on the COA server. That game? Far Cry 5. (It’s a blast to play btw, just a side note.) And playing it brought back all the feelings of nostalgia from the days when I used to write for that fandom. So I revisited some old work. Checked the stuff I never published and that has been sitting ducks in my docs for months and hoo boy. Let me tell you it was a vibe check of the worst kind. 

The stark difference in the prose and the ease with which it flowed was...startling. It made me remember why I love writing so much and how proud I used to be of what I wrote back in the day. Which is not to say I’m not proud now, but it was just such a sharp dip in quality it was impossible to ignore.  

So I didn’t.  

I paused NaNo, moving it to another month. I paused writing for everything but work, which with our season coming to an end I will also get a rest from soon, too. I kinda paused in general. For the first time in a while, I finally forced myself to switch off. Rest. 

The reason why I haven’t been on here is simple: guilt and not having energy to be on here. I like making my blog a safe space for everyone. Similar to escape it has become for me. I couldn’t pretend I was fine when I wasn’t. I felt obliged to perform and being here became exhausting. I haven’t been checking my inbox. Haven’t done much of anything except occasionally dropping by and reblogging a random post so people know I’m alive.

And that’s that, folks. That’s where I am currently. Resting. Completely exhausted mentally but resting. Getting my energy back. 

So where does that leave us, huh? If you read this far, dunno what to tell you. Thanks, I suppose. It’s still odd to think people actually care about my existence sometimes.

I know what you’re likely thinking, too. So does this mean COA is never gonna be finished? What is gonna happen to it? Are you abandoning it?

The answer: no. 17 out of 25 chapters and 250k+ in, I’m too far in not to give it a proper conclusion. Not because I owe it to anyone other than myself. I want this story to be a stepping stone for my future as a writer. I want to prove to myself that I can get this done and finish it. As of right now (as you can no doubt tell with how long it’s been since last update) it’s on a soft hiatus while I rest. This rest? Not sure how long it may last. Right now, my plan is till mid December at which point I will reevaluate. Ideally, I finish the year with an update. But my New Year’s resolution is to finish COA. That timeline has become a little more murky now but, again, ideally it’s within the first quarter of 2021. Will that happen? I don’t know. And I don’t want to make false promises, either. 

All I’m saying is that it will be done. I’m just no longer sure how long, exactly, it may take me to reach that Epilogue. I don’t expect many people to stick around for however long it may take me, but if you do, thank you. Truly. I really and deeply mean that. 

So what’s on the cards for this blog in the meantime? Well, CP77 is coming out in under a month (if it doesn’t get moved again lmao rip) and I expect that to be my soft return to posting my writing on here again. We will see where the muse takes me, if at all. Regardless though, I’m excited. 

One doctorate thesis later, here we are at the end of this really long rambling session. I hope that this has given you some perspective on things going on behind the scenes. I spared you some of the gorier details but I think this post has been long overdue. I suppose I, myself, was just too unwilling to face these things despite knowing about them deep down for a while now. I’m too self-critical not to notice but acting on correcting this behavior has been a whole other matter clearly. 

Thank you for reading this post, my writing in general, and supporting me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m still around. More is on the way in the future. I’ll be seeing you all real soon. And all my love to all of you. 

Love,

- Kat.   

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on Gallavich Hall of Shame

Wow okay this is the latest I’ve ever posted a weekly recap and I feel awful about it but mom life amirite? I’ve seen a lot of negative posts about this episode( maybe I just follow the wrong people) so ngl I’m kinda worried about watching it. Ugh. This is why I try to not look up things until I’ve had a chance to recap because I hate being influenced by other people’s opinions BUT I’m gonna try my best to find the positive things in the episode and keep this light hearted and fun like I’ve been trying to do all season! Okay I’ll shut up now and get right into why you’re really reading this post:

Oh baby Gallavich :(((((

THEY WERE SO LITTLE

Bitch don’t even say the word divorce

They’re sitting side by side playing a game together 😭😭😭😭

Mickey loves blowing ian pass it on

Oh fuck I forgot that belt move ian did 🤤🤤🤤

Nob job lmao

MID GOBBLE

ugh Ned was the most disgusting piece of shit

Who are those two exes wtf

I don’t know their names but I forgot I never watched any episode Mickey wasn’t in lmao

WAIT A WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK

Wow Mickey Milkovich really deserves so much better

Compilation of Mickey saying fuck THANK YOU

Omfg s4 Mickey was actually perfect

“Course you will. That’s your whole fucking MO” oh shit..

Wow remembering the past is really making me hate ian again lmao

Just when I started loving him for once

But then I remember how much he’s grown and I love him again

Fuck the writers tho

Let me write Gallavich please I’d do a much better job

Okay y’all really made it seem like Mickey was super offensive with his bipolar comment

I’m bipolar and hate when people use the term lightly but cmon guys that was nothing

He even called it a bipolar episode. He didn’t say anything offensive at all omfg. I was over here thinking he called him a psycho or something.

Some of y’all just gotta stop watching and stick to fanfics or something.

“I wish I never met you.” “Me either” THEN THEIR FUCKING WEDDING FUCK YALL NOW IM IN MY FEELS 😭😭

They’ve been through so much wow

Okay I need to see Mickey wearing a fanny pack

THE RING AND THE FLASHBACK STOP

GIVE MICKEY AND IAN A BABY

Fuck I need to rewatch the wedding

“Stupid gallagher” same

Mickey giving the Fanny pack back my boy is such a Good Samaritan wow I raised you so well I’m so proud my perfect son

SHIT I JUST REALIZED WHAT SONG IS PLAYING FUCK THIS YALL IM OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh gosh I thought we were done seeing ian Gallagher’s dance moves

Why would they put us through that again

“Stupid Milkovich” you watch your mouth

But we love when a man learns from his mistakes

Now kiss

Mickey is beautiful damn ian is so lucky

Now this is the type of flashback I like to see

MICKEY SAYING HES SENSITIVE DO YALL REALIZE HOW BIG THAT IS?!

Ugh I love him so much

I’m so proud to be his mom

Okay unpopular opinion but I actually love that little how’d your bipolar tirade go how’d your stealing shit go

If you’ve been with someone through their rock bottoms you’ll understand how not offensive at all that interaction was

They both said things they felt bad about saying and now they’re having a bit of banter about it

“We work well together”

GUYES THEYRE ACTUALLY TALKING THINGS OUT THIS IS HUGE

They needed space after feelings got hurt but now they’re coming together to make up and actually talk things over

They’re learning and growing apart AND together

They both had the horrible childhoods and they’re doing their best

It takes years and years of therapy to work through deep rooted issues like that. I’m STILL seeing a therapist twice a week and I still have issues.

Just imagine. They’re how old? Mid to late twenties and neither of them have properly dealt with their issues and mental health problems. You can’t expect them to be the perfect couple you read about in fanfics. Yeah shameless is over the top but it’s a tv show that has stayed on the air for 11 seasons BECAUSE of how over the top it is. Stop expecting these characters to be healed healthy woke changed characters from one season to the next when they haven’t even properly dealt with their issues and it would honestly be very ooc if they did deal with their issues in a healthy way

I wish they would but that’s not the shameless way.

Well that was a long rant but honestly it was needed

Ugh I hate reliving terry this is the worst my heart is breaking

I skipped fast

Terry is definitely worse but yeah they’re both pieces of shit

Shit I forgot how abusive frank was

They both deserve so much better

They’re so cute oh gosh

We love communication

Okay but fr taking a bath with your SO isn’t as romantic as people think or maybe I’m just not a romantic lmao

Unless it’s a big bathtub with leg room

Mickey has the best lines

He’s so funny 😭😭😭

Mickey loves being manhandled✨��✨✨

Honestly? I really think they would be really into some safe consensual bdsm play and they deserve to have that

PICK HIM UP IAN PLEASE ITS WHAT HE WANTS

fucking love you

I love you too

MUTUAL I LOVE YOUS ARE MY FAVORITE THING

IAN LOVES TO DO THE THUMB THING I CANT

HE DID IT EIGHT TIMES IN THREE SECONDS I COUNTED

they’re so perfect for each other :(((

A kissing compilation 😭😭

THE S7 VAN KISS HAS MY HEART

I still want a scene of Mickey making fun of Ian’s black hair

THE WEDDING 😭😭😭

I’m in tears again

THE KEY CHANGE WITH IAN SAYS MICKEY STILL GETS ME 😭😭😭😭

“Now?” HOW DOES ONE WORD GET SUCH A BIG REACTION FROM ME

I deserved to be at that wedding 😭😭😭

“But not these newlyweds” damn right

THE BLOOPERS

I love them so much

I LOVE SEEING NOEL AND CAM AT WORK

What a treat

SWEET LOVING MOUTH

THE THUMB THING AGAIN

JUST FOR ME

I MISS SEASONN FOUR MICKEY I WANNA GO WATCH HIM NOW

I love Mickey more than anything 😭😭

Okay that was so much better than I was expecting! I know I ranted a lot and I’m probably gonna get some angry comments and messages but I honestly don’t care. Have your opinion and I’ll have my own and if you wanna discuss things like adults I’ll reply but if not then I don’t have time for the negativity. My boys actually communicated and didn’t self sabotage for once and I’m so proud. I love not being as invested as I used to be because now I can actually enjoy their scenes! Anyway it’s late where I’m at and I haven’t been getting much sleep so I’m gonna stop rambling. Let me know what you thought of this episode! Oh and real quick! I noticed I got a flood of new followers in the past two weeks so i just wanted to say feel free to send me messages on and off anon! I like talking to y’all! I promise I’m nice lol! Okay bye I love Mickey so much!

[fanimesenseiwrites]

Another two parter because I just really love starting new lines and Tumblr can't stand it. But yeah, this addresses all the shit Mammon gets from his brothers because it really bugs me. NGL, I was inspired by the Devilgram story "One too many insults." Not in this part, but this story will feature eventual sexy times with a sort of trigger... (not me using my writing to deal with my issues again!)

Mammon's Lament

Hoshiko was in their apartment, studying a spell book when they got a text from Mammon.

-Hey, can you talk?-

Hoshiko looked at the message and grinned before replying.

-Yeah, you miss me?-

-I just really need to hear your voice right now-

Hoshiko frowned at the message; that didn't sound like Mammon. They called him immediately.

He answered almost immediately. "Hey Hoshiko," it was Mammon's voice but he sounded almost melancholy.

Hoshiko's frown deepened. "Hey honey, what's wrong?" They put a bookmark in the book and closed it.

"I just really wish I could see you right now."

Hoshiko didn't like the sound of his tone, they were growing increasingly worried by the second. "I'd love to see you too, I'll summon you if you tell me what's wrong."

"I... I'd rather not."

"Please? I'm worried. Just tell me what's wrong and then I'll summon you," Hoshiko tried to compromise.

He groaned. "I don't want to be near my brothers, okay?"

"I'm sorry but, that doesn't sound like anything new," Hoshiko told him, still trying to sound supportive.

"Just summon me and then I'll tell you the rest," he tried to bargain.

Hoshiko sighed. "Okay fine. Grab onto anything you wanna bring with you and give me a minute."

"Thank you," he told them before hanging up.

Hoshiko frowned and got up from where they were sitting on the couch. They walked over to their purse and pulled out their keys and held the keychain that Mammon gave them. Hoshiko ran their thumb over the keychain and briefly reminisced over the time that they got the keychains before kissing it, then speaking an incantation. "Hear me, denizens of the darkness. You who are born of shadow and you who give birth to it. Hear me and do as I command. I, Hoshiko Higure, call upon you to send forth one of your number, one whom I have made a pact with. I call forth, the Avatar of Greed, Mammon!"

A circle of light appeared on the floor and a humanoid silhouette slowly materialized within the circle.

Hoshiko smiled wide as they watched the process unfold before them.

The light faded and Mammon was left standing there holding his toothbrush and DDD charger.

Hoshiko smiled at him. "Hey Mammon."

Mammon looked at Hoshiko and smiled slightly before walking over to them and hugging them tightly.

Hoshiko found it unusual that he didn't say anything, but just hugged back. "Guess what."

"What?" He asked, still holding onto them.

"You're the first out of all of y'all that I've successfully summoned," they sang, actually really excited despite the circumstances.

Mammon pulled away just enough to look at them. "So you're saying that I'm another one of your firsts?" He asked with a grin.

Hoshiko nodded, feeling relief at seeing his usual shit-eating grin. "Yes, I am."

Mammon just hugged Hoshiko again, even tighter this time.

They rubbed his back. "... Will you tell me what's wrong now?"

Mammon sighed and dropped his head onto their shoulder.

Hoshiko ran a hand up his back and into his hair. "Do you want me to make you some tea? I can do that while you talk. Or we can just lay in bed and I'll hold you while you talk. But you gotta talk to me, I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

Mammon sighed and pulled away from them to go sit on the couch. He set his things down on the side table. "I dunno if you can help..."

Hoshiko frowned and followed him. They sat down far enough away from him so that they could easily pull him down to lay his head in their lap. Hoshiko knew it was his favorite position when he was feeling down, but they also knew he wouldn't ask for it, so they just did it.

Mammon allowed himself to be moved and just looked up at Hoshiko once his head was in their lap.

Hoshiko stroked his hair and pulled off his sunglasses. "Will you please talk to me now? I'm worried," they pleaded.

Mammon sighed and looked away from them. "I'm just sick of bein' called an idiot."

Hoshiko frowned. "Is Lucifer in a mood?"

Mammon snapped his head to them. "Hell! I wish it was just Lucifer! It's all of 'em!"

Hoshiko frowned and scratched his scalp, hoping to get him to calm down.

"Its always "You're an idiot" or "a scumbag" and even when I am trying to do right I don't get any recognition for it! I get no respect! I'm the second oldest, the second strongest..."

Hoshiko would've sworn that they physically felt their heart break. They knew the brothers could gang up on Mammon, but they didn't know that it got to him that bad.

"I don't wanna be feared like Lucifer or nothin', I just... I want them to treat me like I'm their brother..." Mammon looked away from Hoshiko, a soft blush on his cheeks.

Hoshiko had to will themself not to cry. "Oh..." They racked their brain for anything they could say to make him feel better. "Ya know, it always bothered me that you're the only one who got no kind of understanding for your sin."

Mammon looked back at Hoshiko.

"I know you all tease each other, but like... Asmo doesn't get strung up in the stairwell for going out and having a bunch of sex."

Mammon appeared to think about what they said. "Yeah... You're right!"

Hoshiko chuckled. "I know I am."

Mammon sat up and turned to look at Hoshiko. "And I don't ever lose control to the point of changing forms like Beel or Satan!"

Hoshiko nodded. "You're right. So how about you just stay here for a couple days, let your brothers worry a little and then by the time you go back down they should be nicer."

Mammon grinned, but it quickly faded. "Can't I just stay here forever?" He asked, his voice small.

Hoshiko blushed, they weren't necessarily opposed to the idea but they knew they had to be realistic too. "You know, Lucifer will come looking for you eventually."

"Then why don't we just see how long it takes Lucifer to find me?" Mammon asked, a mischievous grin growing on his face.

Hoshiko chuckled but shook their head. "No, just a few days. The longer we wait the more likely we're to be in trouble with Lucifer."

Mammon groaned. "Fiiinnneee...."

"How about we go shopping and I'll get you some more clothes for your stay here?"

Mammon immediately perked up. "I like the sound of that."

Hoshiko grinned. "I thought you might." They stood up and stretched; they looked down at their pajamas then back at Mammon. "Lemme change and then we'll go."

Mammon gave them a once over. "Oh, yeah."

Hoshiko chuckled. "Did you just notice that I'm still wearing pajamas?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm an idiot..."

Hoshiko frowned and walked over and grabbed his face and made him look at them. "You're not an idiot. Sometimes we don't notice little things, especially when we're upset and focused on something particular. That doesn't make us stupid. It just means we're people, with thoughts and feelings. Having magical powers doesn't make us infallible."

Mammon just stared into Hoshiko's eyes.

Hoshiko blushed. They tried to decipher the look in Mammon's eyes, hoping to figure out how he felt, praying that they hadn't said something they shouldn't have. "Mammon?"

He pulled his face out of their hands, a blush staining his cheeks. "Thanks... go change."

Hoshiko just nodded and went to their bedroom and closed the door behind them.

Hoshiko couldn't get the look in Mammon's eyes out of their head as they got dressed. Had they embarrassed him? They were just trying to make him to feel better, he deserved to really feel good about himself. 

Hoshiko got dressed in some leggings, an oversized sweater and some over the knee boots before walking back out into the living room.

Mammon was up and looking at the pictures of Hoshiko and Asmo that were framed and hanging up. He looked at Hoshiko when they walked out. "Why do you only have pictures of you and Asmo up?" He asked with a pout.

"Those are the pictures we took together so he could give me something dear so that I could summon him."

Mammon nodded and looked back at the pictures.

Hoshiko walked over to him. "And the picture of the stars is Beel and Belphie's stars."

"They gave you their stars? Really?"

Mammon chuckled. "So... where's what I gave you?"

Hoshiko nodded then pointed to the framed script. "Levi gave me his script of 'With Me' that Simeon signed."

Hoshiko then pulled an old, leather bound book off the bookshelf. "Satan gave me the book that made him and Lucifer switch bodies, all the magic has faded from it now."

Hoshiko picked up their keys and shook them so that they jingled. "It comes with me everywhere I go."

Mammon grinned wide. "So I'm always with you?"

Hoshiko nodded. "You and Lucifer."

"Lucifer?" Mammon asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hoshiko held up their hand and showed him the ring of light. "Kinda can't take it off... unless we want the three realms to descend into chaos that is." They chuckled nervously.

Mammon nodded.

Hoshiko fidgeted with their hands, feeling awkward now. "So... ready to go to the mall?"

Mammon perked up. "Yes!"

Hoshiko smiled and grabbed their purse. "Come on, let's go."

They left the apartment together and took an Uber to the mall.

"That Uber thing is pretty cool," Mammon commented as they walked into the mall, hands in his pockets. "A lot easier than hailing a cab."

"And cheaper!" Hoshiko chimed.

Mammon grinned. "That's always good." He looked around the mall. "So, where to first?"

"I'm thinking Abercrombie and Fitch is good a spot for your style and my price point."

Mammon chuckled. "Sounds good, lead the way."

Hoshiko hooked their arm through his and led them through the mall.

Mammon grinned, more than happy to have Hoshiko on his arm.

As they shopped, Mammon seemed to turn back to his normal self more and more.

Hoshiko felt a lot better as Mammon's spirits lifted.

"Are you having fun?" Hoshiko asked him.

"I'm always having fun when I don't have to pay for stuff," he told them with a grin.

Hoshiko snorted but grinned. "Of course." The metaphysical store caught their eye from across the way. "Let's get you some demonius to have with dinner." They headed toward the metaphysical store.

Mammon raised an eyebrow as he followed them. "Uh, that's just one of those hokey chakra stores not a real magic store."

Hoshiko grinned at him. "Just follow me."

When they walked in, Hoshiko waved at the girl at the counter. "Hey Selene, we're going in the back."

Selene smiled at Hoshiko but eyed Mammon suspiciously.

Hoshiko grinned. "Selene, this is Mammon. Mammon, Selene; she's a witch."

Selene's eyebrows shot up at Mammon's name. "/The/ Mammon?" She asked with a grin.

Mammon grinned at Selene. "In the flesh!"

"Wow, I never thought I'd meet one of the seven rulers of hell."

Hoshiko made a face. "Selene, I have pacts with all of them. I was bound to bring one of them in here at some point."

"Yeah, but with my luck I thought it would've been on my off day."

Hoshiko chuckled and shook their head. "Like I said, we're going in the back."

Selene nodded. "Okay! It was nice to meet you Mammon ~"

Mammon grinned at her. "Always good to meet a fan."

Hoshiko rolled their eyes and pulled Mammon into the back room. They held their hand out parallel to their chest and a magical circle appeared around their hand. Hoshiko turned their hand to the right and a glamour barrier parted, revealing a lounge and a counter where true magical items could be bought.

Mammon grinned at Hoshiko. "That's pretty cool."

Hoshiko smiled wide and motioned for him to walk in.

Mammon walked in and Hoshiko followed him, resetting the barrier once they were both inside.

Mammon looked around briefly before plopping down on one of the couches.

Hoshiko shook their head and headed straight to the counter. "Hey Camille," Hoshiko greeted the girl behind the counter.

Camille smiled at Hoshiko. "Did you bring in who I think you brought in?" She asked with a grin.

Hoshiko chuckled. "Yeah. The Great Mammon, Avatar of Greed."

"Is he just... here, or are you doing something...?"

Hoshiko raised an eyebrow, suspicious of her attempt at a question. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Like... are you two doing a ritual or something?"

"Uh, no. We're just hanging out. We're actually friends. I will say, having a pact makes it convenient to see each other though."

Camille nodded. "I bet. So what did you come in here for?"

"Some demonius, a phoenix feather, and..." she eyed the pre-made potions on the back shelf.

Camille watched them briefly before grabbing a small vial full of a shimmery purple liquid and setting it down in front of Hoshiko. "This is the one you want," she told them with a smirk.

"How do you know what I want?"

"Because demons can and have gotten humans pregnant, and it's not fun, especially if it's not expected."

Hoshiko felt their face get hot. "T- that's not-!" They tried to protest but they couldn't quite find the words.

"Oh wait, I know you're genderfluid but I thought you had female bits, am I wrong?" Camille asked, suddenly embarrassed.

Hoshiko shook their head. "No, you're right..." They were even more embarrassed than Camille.

Camille breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. But seriously, you want this one," she reiterated as she tapped the top of the bottle.

Hoshiko made a face. "I dunno..."

"How about you take this one for free, as a trial sample?" She asked but she still put it in a bag along with the other things Hoshiko had asked for.

Hoshiko sighed, still red in the face. "Fine." They had just handed their credit card off to Camille when they felt Mammon's demonic aura flare up behind them. Hoshiko whipped around, suddenly fearful that they had missed some attack, but that feeling quickly changed to some awful mix of anger and jealousy when they saw Mammon flaunting his demon form for a gaggle of witches who had gathered around him while their back was turned.

"I'm gonna kill him," Hoshiko muttered under their breath before marching over to him and grabbing one of his wings.

Mammon growled and whipped around to see who dared to touch him.

You could tell who the experienced witches were by the ones who didn't flinch at his show of aggression.

Hoshiko stood their ground and glared at him.

Mammon's face immediately softened when he saw that it was Hoshiko. "Oh, hey... why'ya pullin' on me?"

Hoshiko just stared at him for a moment, trying to decide on what to say. "Change back," they demanded, their voice eerily calm. "We're leaving."

"Oh, we're done shopping?" He asked, mildly oblivious to their change in demeanor.

"Yes," they responded as they took their card and bag from Camille. 

"Oh okay." He changed back to his human form.

Hoshiko walked over and parted the barrier so they could leave.

Mammon headed out.

"Bye Mammon~" a few of the witches called after him.

Mammon turned back to smile and wave at them. "Bye!"

"Oh my god, let's just go," Hoshiko nagged.

Mammon looked at them. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going." He walked out.

Hoshiko followed him out, resetting the barrier as they left.

Hoshiko was absolutely silent until they got back to the apartment; a deadly aura seemed to emanate from them.

Mammon, who had felt death auras many a times, didn't try to talk to Hoshiko until they got back into the apartment.

Part 1, 2, 3

[thewhizzyhead]

Hey, your misfits musical thing sounded super super interesting! Any other details about it that you're willing to share? Minor plot points? Gay Relationship stuff? :0

oh boy this is gonna be long *cracks knuckles* here we go

SO FUN BACKSTORY BEFORE I GET TO THE PLOT PARTS TJXJJS: my sunday school has a tradition of um holding productions of christmas musicals every december. My teachers would find american christian christmas kiddy musicals productions on youtube and then basically um translate all the dialogue to Filipino (the songs stay in English) and have us um reenact the whole thing and ngl it was a lot of fun! I even acted as some of the main roles there when I was like 10-13 so um I can kinda say that I have some experience with musical theatre YAYYY (jk jk that doesn't really count djsff).

When I was around 12-13 years old, I became obsessed with A Very Potter Musical and wondered what it would be like to make AVPM but Christmas so that my church could perform it (very silly idea but shh i was 12 and I was obsessed) and then over time a plot that Was Definitely Not Harry Potter started to form and them um here we are fjsjd so thank you Starkid for making me go down this hellhole

Oki backstory over, now here comes the very long part:

(Also um warning this musical concept involves a lot of religion talk since majority of the thingy is me criticizing a lot of the hypocrisies in religious institutions here based on my experience so um yea proceed with caution if ur sensitive to religion-related stuff)

p.s. ari i am so so sorry but this is so fucking long and definitely more than what you asked for so um yea goodluck fjxjsjf

SO BASICALLY Misfits is about 5 "narrators" - these guys serve as the "floor directors" of the show and um yea they make sure that the plot actuall happens and everything goes exactly according to the script given by the church higher ups or "producers" - who have to bring 3 teens branded by their church as "Misfits" back to Bethlehem 1 CE in order to "teach them a lesson about God" aka convert them to Christianity thus removing the "Misfits" branding. (Also they can only go back once they successfully arrive at the manger because um that's how the producers want it to be tjxjs)

I have to emphasize that although this tackles a lot of stuff related to Christianity and religion as a whole, this really isn't a Christian Musical and that this very morally questionable mission (through the power of Stage Magic and Super Powers, the Narrators essentially bring the Misfits back to the past against their will for the sake of completing their mission) goes horribly, horribly wrong very very quickly.

Throughout the course of the musical, the 5 Narrators struggle to stick to the given script and get their mission done as the 3 Misfits prove to not only be very freaking stubborn but also quite insightful as well as they bring up really good points in regards to religious hypocrisies and socially questionable, prejudiced and backward views commonly held by most religious institutions here i.e gender roles, homophobia, the demonization of science and technology at times, elitism and classism, etc etc (i can only speak in behalf of the Philippines so um yea Philippines). Overall, this is kinda a case study on as to how religion can influence and shape people's mindsets for either the better or the worse and how it is often used by the authorities to simultaneously give hope to the people (especially those of the poorer sectors wherein because of how hopeless the present seems here because a very flawed system kept in place by the exploitative privilged here, they choose to just trust in God instead and also hope that the afterlife is much much better than this shit) while also keeping them in line and like preventing them from rioting. (Church and politics undeniably go hand in hand here even though we have legislations enforcing the separation of the church and state and um yEA THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN VERY PROMINENT THROUGHOUT PHILIPPINE HISTORY AND WE CAN ALL THANK THE SPANIARDS but um anyways that'll be a rant for another day)

On a more personal and emotional aspect, this thingy also tackles a lot of stuff I find rather common among kids my age, especially those who had a very Christian upbringing (aka 99.9% of the philippine population tjxbdbf). There's a lot of questioning involved in regards to one's faith, sexuality, perspective and purpose in life and all that fun stuff and how oftentimes said questioning is discouraged due to the church (and ph society overall) wanting us to just like um sTICK TO THE STATUS QUOoOoO and just comply with what is seen as appropriate and godly cause anything out of the ordinary is ngl treated like it's heresy. (YES THERE WILL BE A LOT OF SELF PROJECTION HERE)

One final and important thing to note is that the show is essentially a musical-inside-a-musical in a way fjsjf I originally designed this thing to be like um produce-able on my church's stage (because they were supposed to help me produce the first version of misfits which um yea that's def not gonna happen now tjxjdv) which um kinda looks like the OG Spring Awakening Stage (and yes Misfits is very much inspired by Spring Awakening God I love that show) which is why the show is kinda stylized like a concert with handheld mics and all wherein um the 5 narrators are aware that they are putting on a show to the point of even directly addressing the audience a lot while the 3 Misfits (except for 1 which i'll get to in a bit) aren't aware that they are in a show. The three do eventually find that out and that's when all hell breaks loose to the point that the "producers" (represented by Hades-ish voices) have to intervene by literally changing and manipulating the show's setting and plot to make sure that their script gets followed and that's when the characters really try to break the show to get out of it bUT THE POINT I WANNA MAKE HERE IS THXJD keeping in mind that I had initially planned for Misfits to be produced by my church prior to the many drastic changes, the show the narrators were putting on (aka the musical-inside-the-musical) was made with the intention to pander to a Very Religious Audience. Successfully convincing people to convert to Christianity, especially those of the youth, is what many religious audiences want to see and that is exactly what the "producers" have written for the 5 "narrators and floor directors" to enact. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a Christian and preaching the Gospel and bringing in new believers isn't essentially a bad thing; if they want to believe in the religion then woo good for them! But, such preaching becomes detrimental when you take away one's agency and basically force them into Christianity by means of guilt tripping and manipulation which is sadly very much a reality here (again, a rant for another day) and a representation of such is shown here in the show where um the 3 Misfits were basically forced into this show that 5 Narrators are putting on and, through the influence of the 5 Narrators, the 3 Misfits have to decide to become "good Christian youths" for the show to conclude because that's show the "producers" have written. So when the 3 Misfits stubborness goes to the point that even the 5 Narrators start questioning the morals of their mission, that's when the show starts to go off-script and that's when the production starts to like umm "break" and whenever that happens, the "producers" start speaking to the Narrators, reminding them that they have an audience that they need to please and a message that they need to convey.

So while the Misfits (2 of them, at least, cause um the third one has um yea i'll get to him in a bit) mainly focus on figuring out what in the everliving fuck is going on (while also dealing with their um unfortunate circumstances, childhood trauma, a shit ton of guilt and the concept of salvation and self-forgiveness), the Narrators are tasked with the burden of carrying the show and making sure that the audience finds it appealing while trying to convince themselves that what the church wants them to do is "right" and what the Misfits keep telling them is "wrong" ala um Holier-Than-Thou mindset. Once they eventually start becoming more willing to see the true nature of both the Misfits and the Producers despite the fear of disappointing everyone who's watching, that's when the Narrators and Misfits all start breaking the show by going off-script and completely destroying the plot and production that the Producers have made for the audience - thus making a statement of refusing to comply with a flawed system for the sake of audience approval while also making the first step to fixing that system for the good of all.

Also fun fact: Although it'll make my job a lot harder because I am more fluent in English than in Filipino, i wanna write the thingy in both English and Filipino fjxjdf the dialogue can be Taglish but um the songs that are "part of the script" aka what the Producers want the characters to sing are in English while the songs that aren't part of the script are in Filipino; songs that are both in Filipino and in English are um i guess indicative of the struggle to follow the script while also trying to do what you believe is right (an example of a song with that style is Interpretasyon - which means Interpretation and um Ezekiel (one of the Misfits) sings in Filipino while Joshua (leader of the narrators) sings in English and um just imagine Wallflower cuz IT IS VERY MUCH LIKE WALLFLOWER GJDJNF) and um yea i kinda imagine it to be some sort of rock-pop musical concert thingy so um woo thank you pma for once again influencing my work

SO ANYWAYS UM THAT WAS LONG SO LET'S GO TO THE GAY SHIT

Okay so far 4/8 of the characters here have queerness directly related to their individual plotlines here but um yea honestly i'm tempted to make all of them queer CAUSE IT'S FUN oki so um anyways on to the character dynamics (I won't be able to include more in depth descriptions because im hungry and GOD THIS IS LONG so um yea)

June & Anna (Narrator 2) - oki so June here is one of the Misfits and she's from the poorer sectors (i'm still working on her backstory to make it more believable but um yea) and she isn't able to go to school due to having to prioritize providing for her family first. Due to a very unfortunate childhood event (one that involves Zack, another Misfit), she had to grow up fast and now appears to have a rather jaded view of the world. Anna, one of the Narrators, is the very opposite of that - she's privileged and wealthy-as-fuck and seems to be very optimisitc and friendly. However, ever since she has been blackmailed by her own churchmates for merely questioning her sexuality (true story), she became a more reserved and emotionally closed person despite her very friendly and cheerful demeanor. So when she finds out that June's music carries a lot of beautiful insight and hope in spite of her unfortunate circumstances (the two girls bond over music btw that's how Anna got June to trust in her), she becomes confused because how can June, a girl who has nothing, not even faith, still have hope that she'll be able to find some semblance of happiness while Anna, who has everything, has such a downtrodded view of the world? So um basically their dynamic will also consist of Anna checking her privilege, June explaining how good people turn against the world when the world turns against them (YES A LOT OF TALK ABOUT POVERTY AND HOW THAT IS A RESULT OF CAPITALISTIC EXPLOITATION) (yes June will talk about that a lot), and um what it means to hope with or without faith and what it means to trust another and oneself again. Oh and also lots of philosophy talk and emotional expression through music wie

Zack and Mikael (Narrator 3) - Zack, another Misfit, is a childhood friend of June and a younger stepbrother of Ezekiel (the third Misfit). After Zack and June lost contact after the 'unfortunate childhood event' (i am not sure on what exactly it'll be but in the earlier drafts a fire burned both of their homes and killed both of their dads and rn I have a song concept describing that called "Umaapoy" which means "Burns" but i dunno i'm still working on it), he became best friends with Mikael and um yea said best-friendship was Definitely Not Platonic. After a picture of them kissing was sent to not only the school principal but to basically everyone in the school, both of their parents were called to the principal's office which led to both of the boys moving to different schools to um mitigate the damage i guess gjdjd while Zack's mom eventually learned to accept her son's sexuality, Mikael um wasn't so lucky - I'd say he went through um a lot of religious intervention almost akin to conversion therapy which then um yea has caused him a lot of internalized homophobia and um yea Mikael and Zack haven't been able to talk or even chat in about 3-4 years so imagine Mikael's surprise when he found out that his mission involved Zack - who does not and cannot recognize Mikael because welp not part of the script. Zack, a bit braver now, takes a liking to Mikael and wants to at least be friends with him partly because he somehow finds him really familiar while um Mikael tries to maintain a strictly professional demeanor out of fear that Zack will recognize him and out of fear that he'll fall in love with Zack again. Their dynamic will also include um learning to trust one another and oneself again (like June & Anna's dynamic), to learn how to be brave and be sure in one's beliefs (Mikael um doesn't really speak up that much out of fear while Zack is not only outspoken, but is also an activist - this is another one of the many reasons why Zack is branded as a "Misfit" aside from the fact that he's gay and um yea Ezekiel spends almost 2 minutes berating Joshua for this out of pure anger and disgust), and what it means to reconnect with the past and to forgive oneself (although that is much more expounded upon with June & Zack's dynamic).

Ezekiel and Joshua (Narrator 1) - SAY HI TO THE RILEY AND CAIRO DYNAMIC WOOOOOOO but yea ari dude your analysis on Riley and Cairo (and Kate) being the Main MAIN characters and everything about cheerwives gave me a lot of think about and SO I PUT IT IN HERE WOOOOOO so basically um Ezekiel is the older stepbrother of Zack and the first of the 3 Misfits to figure out that they are in a show. He figures this out because he recognizes Joshua aka the leader of the Narrators aka his former churchmate and ex-bestfriend. He also realizes that they are in a show because he recognizes their tricks which he knew about because he had participated in these missions before as one of the Narrators (Joshua and Ezekiel are older than the rest of the cast and the other narrators don't know that Ezekiel was once a Narrator as well). Due to an Unfortunate Incident (that i'm still working on) 3 years prior to the events in the show, Ezekiel cut off all ties to the church but he is still viewed as this "perfect role model golden boy" which is why the 4 Narrators were shocked to find out that Ezekiel was part of their mission. Joshua, knowing that the real reason to his sudden involvement is due to "producers" somehow finding out their secret about the Unfortunate Incident, lied and told the others that he was just included to make converting his brother a lot easier, which they believed. Out of all the narrators, Joshua is the one who tries his best to stick to the script the most because he knows that if he doesn't, the true nature of that Unfortunate Incident will not only be revealed to his companions but to everyone else watching. Meanwhile Ezekiel, who doesn't know that him being involved in this mission is some sort of um penance for his involvement in that Unfortunate Incident, tries his hardest to sabotage he show by being the most outspoken when pointing out a lot of hypocrisies within religious institutions and in ph society in general (he refuses to tell the other two that they are in a show though because if that happens, he knows the Narrators, Joshua especially will um get very heavily scolded by the producers and despite everything, he still cares for Joshua a lot). I'd say that these two are the ones that push the plot the most - one wants to push the show accordingly to plan in order to please the audience and the producers and in order to not let his and Ezekiel's secret go out while the other wants to push the show off-script in retaliation against the producers (and yes the Unfortunate Incident involved the time travelling thingy which is why he really wants to sabotage this). In fact, these two have 2 duets that are basically them trying to convince the other to go along with their plan ("Interpretasyon" which means Interpretation and "Sikreto" which means secret). This dynamic involves um yea trying to convince the other to switch sides gjxjd and um reconciliation, responsibility out of guilt, and what it means to forgive oneself (forgiveness is a common theme here) and to start to heal from trauma and to not deny the existence of said trauma any longer.

NOW ORIGINALLY I REALLY DID NOT INTEND THE JOSHUA AND EZEKIEL DYNAMIC TO BE GAY BUUTT WHEN I WAS THINKING OF THE LYRICS, I REALIZED THAT OUT OF CONTEXT, IT SOUNDED VERY GAY SO UM HERE'S AN EXCERPT OF SIKRETO (still not finished writing the thingy)

Joshua: (singing to Ezekiel) (this is also the first time Joshua sings a Filipino solo so this is him breaking the script for the first time) (also um yea the translations aren't direct translations cause I wanted to make them rhyme fnxnf) (So to those who know filipino i am terribly sorry cause yup this isnt an accurate translation fjfjd)

Ang natitirang alaala ay aking binura (I have scrubbed away all the memories that may have still remained)

‘di ko na sila kilala (I don't know them anymore)

Kinalimutan na kita (I have forgotten about your name)

Ngunit ang bigat ng pagsisisi ang aking dinadala (But the weight of regret, I carry all the same)

Ang sakit sa balikat, lagi kong dinarama (I constantly feel the sting of my shoulders' pain)

Pero masasabi ko pa rin na sinusubukan kong itama (But at least I can say, I tried to right-)

Ang aking mga pagkakamali (all that's wrong)

Ikaw, saan ka pumunta? (What about you? Where in the world have you gone?)

Tumakbo ka lang at iniwan mo ako (You ran, you just ran, and left me behind)

Sa pagbubuhat ng kasalanan at sikreto (In carrying the sins and secrets, and you paid me no mind)

Pero pinapanatili ko paring malinis ang ating munting kwento (But I stillade sure I kept our little story clean)

Patuloy na sinisigurong ‘di nila malalaman ang totoo (I kept on making sure the truth would never be seen)

Alam na natin ang kwento (We already know the story)

Alam na natin ang kwentong kailangang itago (We know the story that we need to hide)

Itong munting sikreto ay kailangan burahin (This little secret that has to be erased)

Ating pagkakamali, patuloy na bubuhatin (We will have to always carry, our sins and our mistakes)

Alam na natin ang kwento (We already know the story)

Alam natin ang katotohanan ng nakaraan (We very well know the truth of the past)

Ito'y nakabakas sa isipan, ‘di natin malilimutan (We'll never forget what will remain ingrained in our minds)

At sa Diyos na lang natin mahahanap ang kapatawaran (And from only God could we find forgiveness for what we left behind)

Habang buhay bubuhatin ng konsensiya (Forever will our consciences bear the weight and carry

ang ating pagkakasala, ang kwento't sikreto nating dalawa (our sins kept in secrecy, the story of you and me)

Pero ngayon, ‘di ko alam paano pero nalaman nila (But now, I don't know how, but somehow they know)

At ngayon, dinedemanda na nila ang penitensya (And now, penitence is what they demand)

Kaya ngayon, naghihingi ako ng pasensiya (So now, patience and forgiveness is what I ask)

Sa iyo at sa kanila (From you and from them)

Sa aking gagawin at mga nagawa (for what I'll do and I've done)

Baka nga (Perhaps)

Tama nga mga sinabi mo (What you've said all this time is right)

Na ‘di tayo ang tanging may sala rito (That we aren't the ones only at fault here)

Pero ‘di ko matatakasan ang aking naging tungkulin (But I can't really escape my little role here, because)

Sana ‘di mo nakalimutan: lahat sila nakatingin (God I hope you haven't forgotten: they're all looking at us)

Lagi silang nakatingin (Always looking at us)

Kahit ano man ang iyong gawin (No matter what we do)

Tayo'y mananatili sa entablado (On the stage we shall stay)

At lahat sila nakatingi- (And the stares still won't go awa-) (He then realizes that he's on stage and Should Not Be Having A Breakdown In Front Of The Audience Because Duh and Because That's Not Part Of The Script)

SO UM YEA IN RETROSPECT SOME OF THOSE LYRICS COULD ALSO REFER TO SOME SECRET NOT-PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP THAT THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT YET (because the Secret doesn't get revealed til much later) WHEN IN ACTUALITY IT'S ABOUT THE TRUTH BEHIND WHAT HAPPENED 3 YEARS PRIOR TO THE EVENTS IN THE SHIW AND NOT GONNA LIE,,, THEM BEING IN A NOT-SO-PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP KINDA ALSO WORKS SO I'M CONSIDERING MAKING THEM HAVE SOME ROMANTIC HISTORY TOO JDHXBSJF

Oki that's all for today hdhdh there are two more characters (narrators 4 and 5) but i'm still working on them and i kinda wanna make the both of them not cis cause WHY NOT also i have been typing this for like 6 hours now and i'm tired and hungry so tjjxjs anyways if you read to the end, I'm sending you carbonara-

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[zoefandom127]

Hands Up With Me Pt. 3

part 3!!! show some love to this on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

"Can you please look again?"

 "I'm sorry Miss but we've looked everywhere."

 They'd been at the airport for at least an hour, waiting at baggage claim. Most everyone has gathered their belongings and left but Julie couldn't leave until…

 "But I swear I brought it with me on the plane," Julie murmured more to herself. In reality, it shouldn't have been that serious. She was 20 years old for goodness sake. But she'd had it since forever. The old fabric and loose stitching forever etched into her mind. It's one of the only living relics her mom had given her before she passed. The thought of it being gone isn't something she could fathom.

 "Miss, we haven't seen a stuffed animal in any of our ports. If we hear anything, we'll let you know." With that, the baggage handler walked away leaving Julie in a mess.

 Honestly, it's just a bear. An old, worn out bear that had been in her life for a long time. She never went anywhere without, always bringing with her on tours and keeping it backstage as a good luck charm before performances. Sometimes it would almost be as if her mom was there with her.

 She knew mentally that her mom would always be with her no matter what. Somewhere in her mind or heart or whatever. But emotionally, that bear was the only other thing that made her feel close to her mom besides music. Mr. Harmelody (when she was younger she stumbled over her words and accidentally combined harmony and melody, somehow the name stuck) was there all the time. And she doesn't know why but she needs it with her.

 "Come on, Julie, it's getting late." Luke laid a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her reverie.

 "But…" Julie looked towards the boys and they were almost falling asleep on their feet. It had been a long flight and they still needed to wake up early the next morning for their interview with Carrie. Glancing at her phone, she winced when she saw it was a quarter ‘til one am. "Yeah, okay. Sorry for making you guys wait so long."

 Reggie, who had been leaning on a concrete column, slowly waking at the sound of Julie's voice being directed at him, Alex, and Luke. "No worries, Jules." He gave a tired smile and kicked Alex, jolting him awake.

 "Are we at the hotel yet?" Alex yawned.

 "No, but the cab's outside." Luke grabbed his suitcase and started towards the exit with the boys dragging their feet behind. Julie was lagging behind the three of them sleepily as she tried to rub away the stinging behind her eyes. It's not that serious. Everything will be alright.

...

Everything was not alright.

 Luke had been sitting with Julie for hours trying to come up with lyrics but the girl was dead on her feet. Ever since she lost Mr. Harmelody (he could imagine 3-year-old Julie saying that name in all her adorable cuteness) she'd been so reserved. Her answers would be 3 words or less. And she looked so distracted lately, always looking at her phone anxiously. Like she was waiting for it to ring and tell her the best news ever.

 He knew the significance of the bear, how much it connected it to her mom. But he didn't think the loss of it would affect her this much. She was barely functioning what with all the singing and touring and late nights but she did it all with a smile on her face. Now she had a blank stare and barely said a word to anyone.

 Yeah, he needed to fix this.

 Once Julie left, Luke pulled out his phone and went straight to his text messages, clicking on the group chat with the boys.

 Luke: guys we gotta help julie

 Alexander: Yeah…

 Reginald: Help her with what?

 Alexander: Haven't you noticed that she's been kinda…

 Luke: d e p r e s s e d

 Alexander: ^^^

 Reginald: Oh i thought she was just thinking. I mean thats what i look like when i think too hard.

 Alexander: Nah you look more constipated

 Luke: ANYWAY

 Luke: we need to find Mr. Harmelody

 Luke: any, ideas?

 Reginald: Oooooo maybe we could bribe them

 Alexander: With what? Your stupidity?

 Reginald: *gasp* I take that very offensive

 Alexander: You should

 Alexander: Calling the airport would probably be the best option

 Alexander: Though I think if they found it they would've called

 Luke: right but maybe we just have to be more insistent

 Alexander: Oh wow Luke, broadening your vocabulary lately?

 Luke: haha

 Luke: instead of calling we could like go in there and demand the bear

 Luke: that could work right?

 Alexander: Not if we want to be carried away by airport security

 Reginald: Ngl thatd be kinda fun

 Luke: idk guys but we have to find it. Julie is not okay

 Reginald: Awww yeah for Jules we gotta find Mr. Harmelody

 Reginald: ...I still think bribing them could work

 Alexander: Wait maybe we could bribe them with a concert.

 Alexander: If they search, we play

 Luke: yeah that could work!

 Luke: i'll call flynn so she can set it up. that girl is more intimidating than our actual manager

 All the details would be figured out now but for now…

 "We're coming for you, Mr. Harmelody."

...

Julie was bummed.

 Well to be honest, she was bummed all the time now. It had been a little over a week since Mr. Harmelody has been gone. The fact that she was this upset over a stuffed animal made her feel like a child again. She was reminded of the time she lost Mr. Harmelody when she was 9 years old. Her mom had taken her and Carlos to the town fair and her mom warned her not to bring Mr. Harmelody but at the time she was at the age where her attachment to her belongings was fierce. Julie didn't have a good grip on her bear for the dropdown ride and Mr. Harmelody went flying from her hands and through the air.

 As soon as her legs were on solid ground she went running in the general direction of where the bear flew, leaving her mom and Carlos to follow behind her as tears trailed down her face. After an hour of crying and searching, Rose found Mr. Harmelody lodged underneath a vendor cart for funnel cake.

 Maybe she had been a little dramatic back then, especially when she cried "my life is ruined" in her mother's embrace. But all the memories and love engraved in that bear seemed to be lost without it with her.

 Just as they seemed lost right now.

 Walking through the hallway of her apartment building, Julie heard voices from behind her door.

 "Shhh."

 Furrowing her eyebrows, she placed her ear against the door gently so as not to alert the people inside the apartment of her presence.

 "Okay, I'm gonna set up the camera."

 "Reg, we don't need to record this."

 "Are you kidding? The fans will eat this up. A touching JATP moment, if you will."

 "I will not."

 Hearing enough, Julie unlocked the door and wandered in.

 "Julie!" Luke yelled, surprised.

 There Alex, Luke, and Reggie stood looking as suspicious as ever.

 Hesitantly, Julie continued her trek inside. "Hey…" She spoke wearily.

 "Did we figure out how we're gonna present it to her?" Alex asked after a brief moment of silence as Julie stared at them skeptically with her arms crossed.

 "Uh no. Not really." Reggie responded, still looking at Julie with a smile on his face.

 "What's going on?"

 The boys looked at each other as if making a small agreement as they nodded their heads slightly. Luke had both his hands behind his back, clearly holding something. He stepped up to her and proceeded to show her Mr. Harmelody in all of his stuffed glory.

 Everything was the exact same. The same worn clothes and stitches that were begging to be replaced, albeit a little dirtier than before. Julie reached a hand to touch the fluffiness of the soft bear, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

 "How did you…"

 "Let's just say we're gonna be performing a private concert at the airport on Thursday." Luke smiled, proudly at her.

 Julie barely even heard him. She quickly gathered the bear from Luke's hands and clutched tightly to her chest, closing her eyes at the familiar yet nonexistent embrace of Mr. Harmelody. She bent her legs until her knees were fully folded against her chest, pushing the bear closer against her as her arms tightened around it.

 Tears streamed down her face freely and she almost didn't register the feeling of her boys kneeling around her. The proximity brought even more comfort.

 "Thank you." Julie croaked out, her eyes still shut firmly.

 "Anytime, Jules." Alex rubbed her back as she cried softly.

 Once her cries ceased, Julie looked up with puffy eyes at each of the boys who surrounded her. "Mr. Harmelody says thank you too." She grinned brightly.

 "Aw," Reggie spoke as he placed his arms around all three of them. "I can't wait to put this on Instagram."

...

The next day Julie got an Instagram notification that she was tagged in a post from Reggie. The caption read:

 "JATP moments like this>>>"

 Julie smiled down at her phone when she saw a picture of the four of them kneeled on the carpet floor of her apartment gathered in a warm hug. Obviously, he chose not to post the full video, wanting to keep some parts of their lives separate from their fanbase.

 After taking a look through the comments, she finally decided to comment one of her own.

 “Mr. Harmelody is back in commission!"

 lukepatterson replied to your comment: "damn right!"

 alexmercer replied to your comment: "The unofficial member of Julie and the Phantoms"

 Julie grinned happily as she laid her phone on her coffee table. Mr. Harmelody may have been her source of comfort then but now? She had her boys.

hope yall enjoyed!

[jelloopy]

Murder on The Rockport Limited Notes

Previous: Character Creation, HtbG, Moonlighting

Ch 1

Robbie is a halfling who is pretty shitty but he’s good at making “potions” (Robbie is the roommate that everyone really hates but doesn’t want him to leave because he is their plug)

Taako is on the top bunk, Magnus is under Taako, Robbie is next to Taako and Merle is under Robbie

They are woken up at 3 am to report to Lucretia (3 am really?)

”Yeah it’s like Mario Mario or Luigi Mario” ~Griffin (This is so funny because this actually proves that Taako’s last name really is Taaco. Before Justin played it as a joke but this kinda derails that)

Robbie asks them for Pringles when they leave (Thus the beginning of me and the boys not remembering him by anything other than Pringles)

They arrive in their PJs (Taako is in footie pajamas and Merle’s has a flap in at the butt with a Kenny Chesney tattoo on his ass) (When the hell did Merle get that tattoo. Also, why is Lucretia in her full BoB garb right now? Was she asleep and get changed really quickly? Do her robes double as PJ’s? Did she just not go to sleep?)

Taako says he gets night terrors that’s why he’s in like a full-body Onesie/sleeping bag (That is so fricking sad if you think about his backstory later on…)

Magnus just starts changing clothing right then and there when Lucretia tells them that they don’t have time to get ready (This man really has no shame or boundaries. I imagine it was the same in the century tbh)

Leimann Kessler (half-elf man) was murdered before he was even on the train but was able to secure the Relic on the train (Personally, don’t know a lot about how trains work but this to me is kinda odd. Who knew he died? Do their bracers know when the wearer perishes? Is there like a body temp check and a pulse check in there too? We know that it can track them but… how much more can it do…)

All the relics come from a different school of magic. They were never in the hands of someone long enough to learn what they are capable of (Potentially this is a lie. We would have already known the names, schools of magic, and possibly what they could do based upon that alone. I bet Lucretia is hiding that info in her office)

The Gauntlet deals with Evocation magic (Hmmm, I can only imagine why. Maybe because Lup also worked in Evocation magic?)

Avi is manning the cannon! The whole scene with Magnus High as hell. Avi Never learned how to Wink (Avi you’re adorable I love you. Magnus. Get your shit together man.)

Taako pulls the lever too early and they change trajectory into a swamp

Leech fight! (I honest to god forgot this even happened before listening to it again. Not my fave fight)

Ch 2

Merle gets a lot of blood sucked from him by the leeches

Merle is completely submerged in the swamp and Magnus pulls his ass out (Why is it always Merle)

”Scientists have yet to agree” ~Griffin (I personally use this phrase all the time. It just makes me laugh so hard every time.)

Taako can levitate (I really wished he used this more ngl. I would also like to see some more fanart of this)

They are in Rockport! Covered in swamp shit!

Tom Beaudette! We see his house and they get hosed off then they see him at the ticket station again. (What a nice guy!)

Leimann, Diddly, and Justin Kessler (10/10 best alias’ ever)

Taako Charms Tom (It’s a nice go-to huh?)

Merle really wants to murder tom he wanted him to step in front on the train (Merle really is the one who goes straight for murder)

Ch 3

Hudson, Jess the Beheader, Graham Juicy Wizard, ANGUSSSSSSSS, and Jenkins McShittywizard (My favorite train gang!)

Travis making fun of Griffin for how he needs to sleep with 100000000 pillows (I cherish all of these out of character bits where they really just dog on one another)

Angus, my sweet summer child don’t talk to strangers. We know your grandfather’s name was long forgotten even though you’re going to visit him in Never Winter.

The boys legit think Angus is evil and Griffin yells at them bc they are being racist. (1- how are they being legit racist? You haven’t introduced anything about Angus’ race at all?) (2- Jesus he is only 10 years old my dudes)

Graham is 36 years young and is crazy obsessed with trains and his real name is Percy? He is shadowing Jenkins in hopes of learning more about working on a train

Taako from TV! (And so his legend begins!)

Ch 4

Jenkins is harnessing a limited version of teleportation magic

Angus calling the boys out on their bullshit

Taako calling Angus “pumpkin” (Literally melts my heart. I wish someone called me cute nicknames. Also, Taako hasn’t even talked to this kid that much and that name is reoccurring)

Angus has a nondescript blue book that is able to intercept messages sent through magical means (Where did this child get this book and who let him keep it? This is legit just like letting children under 13 have access to the unrestricted internet. It’s literal Hell)

The bit with Angus and “PRYING EYES AND EARS!” (uh foreshadowing my guy)

They find “Jenkins” Dead body after hearing Graham scream

Merle is able to identify a lot of things by looking at the body (It still scares me that he is technically a Physician.)

Angus pulls a small CROSSBOW OUT OF HIS SLEEVE? (Where did he get this, how did he keep it from Hudson, Why the fuck does he have it)

Angus really said “you guys run I’ll get rid of him!” and grabs Graham and runs (How strong is this child. He’s legit lifting and pulling a grown-ass man without help)

”I’m following Angus I’ll see yall in hell!” ~Taako (Yes follow the badass 10-year old please)

”I wanna tell you about the time about this time there were three ogres…”~Taako

The Foley work bit and then Griffin just snapping “The train derails and you all die” (Another out of character goof that I cherish)

”I shit and take 14 damage” ~Griffin (are you okay? How much health do you have? What’s your max HP dude?)

Taako makes the Crab monster Levitate

Magnus punched the crab monster out of the window and it got scrapped up on the side of the train

Ch 5

They follow the Crab into their sleeper car and Magnus attacks with a chair and Griffin says “I imagine because you are so skilled at carpentry that you’ve had to attack someone with a chair before so you are in fact proficient in this attack”

Jess comes in and finishes the crab off with her Soul bound ax that she can conjure at any time (This legit just means that Jenkins did not need to carry her ax to the crypt safe. She let him do it for shits n giggles. We stan)

Jess got her last name legally changed to “Beheader” and Magnus says that he got his legally changed to “The Hammer” (Really Magnus… this isnt 3rd grade stop trying to impress her. It’s that or it could be another sad reference to “Hammer and Tongs” which would mean Julia was “Tongs” D: that is so depressing and cute)

Magnus and Merle are making good progress in solving the murder

”Alright lads” “oh fuck” When Merle keeps up his disguise as Leimann Kessler (It’s so funny because his fake Leimann Kessler is just his current Argonaut Keen.)

”I cast ZONE OF TRUTH” “Jesus you’re like a zone of truth cleric” (Oh honey. This is just the beginning)

Magnus wakes Graham up with a 5% smack with his left hand and then a 6.5% smack also with his left hand (Wtf is this BNHA? Alright Deku)

Taako is an Alcoholic? (He keeps asking for a drink ...This is a bit concerning but it makes sense)

Magnus slaps Graham again with 7.2% and he popped something in Graham’s jaw and he begins screaming but Merle heals him (OKAY DEKU COOL IT MY GUY)

”I wanna be a guy... with a head!” ~” Hudson” (hehe foreshadowing)

SCUTTLE BUDDY!!!!! (A short but adorable life you have my Lil man)

Ch 6

The “fisticuffs” scene with Taako and Angus (Now this is really concerning considering his backstory. I know it’s a joke because of how many people they accidentally kill all the time but like dude… little do you know…)

Angus leading them through the mystery is so cute. But also you know its Griffin trying to get his family to really think it through and I love it. (It really makes my heart really full to hear Griffin get really excited when they figure it out slowly instead of mocking them when they guess wrong)

MERLE YES! MAGNUS YES! YOU’RE GETTING IT! YOU’RE SO CLOSE! (Teamwork makes the dream work baby!)

Magnus jumps out of the train and Griffin gets really serious and gives him the “if you fail this you will actually die” speech (This coupled with the fight scene that Magnus accidentally skipped and the fact that originally Travis did want Magnus to die so he could re-roll a rogue is so wild)

Magnus is gonna become a wrecking ball Jesus (very Magnus-core)

Hell yeah, Magnus! Knock the meat monster into Jenkins!!

Magnus gets hit for 10 points at 1hp and paries it for 10 points! (Top ten anime near-death experiences)

Jenkins threatens to kill the meat monster. Horribly misses then is thrown off the fucking train by the meat monster (Get fucked wrecked Jenkins that’s what you get for being cocky!)

Ch 7

They find the dousing rod compass that Jenkins was using and find the monocle (Pirates of the Caribbean much?)

Taako grabs The Oculus because he has escaped the thrall of a relic before

It tells him that it can make anything he can imagine (This is really interesting tbh)

The Umbrastaff eATS JENKINS WAND!!! and a Lil sigil appears on the handle of the staff that also looks like an umbrella (Lup gets fed lmao. Don’t really understand the Sigil appearing tho. It doesn’t come up any other time I don’t think so it’s cool)

Taako grabs the teleport wand thing and asks everyone to leave and he grabs a bunch of shit from the Cryptsafe pile (Very Taako-core)

They make it to the engineer’s room and Graham tries to slow the train down but he can’t

Taako wanted to open the gate to Never Winter to Phandalin but they change it to Jenkins’ garden because it needs to be a room with “one entrance” (Solid idea on Taako’s part. If it were to work no one would have been hurt)

Taako pushed Angus off the train and he looses two teeth (This man pushed a whole child off the train… ‘Ight)

Magnus dies by jumping off the train (Top ten anime death scenes)

Taako successfully opens the gate into Jenkin’s garden and the train crashes into the garden

Magnus is stabilized by Merle (Awe so the Cleric can do his job!)

Angus gives them pringles for Robbie and the compass. Taako gives Angus one of the forks from his grandfather’s set.

They go to a nearby Never Winter Clinic to get patched up

Out of character, they choose to work on voices and Griffin calls them out bc he’s been doing 8 “different” voices and Clint goes “Yeah try doing that for 40 years” get fuckin rOASTED Ditto! (Also Griffin I love you but like 3 of the voices were the exact same and 2 were so similar it wasn’t funny. Don’t get me wrong different voices aren’t my strong suit either but ya did give it your best shot so.)

We goin’ back to the moon baby!

AVI MY MAIN MAN! (I will forever and always want and need more Avi screen time)

The oculus works with illusory magic (Which is very interesting bc I know it was made by Davenport because he also worked in allusory magic but I don’t ever remember him using any magic… who knows maybe he has and I just never realized)

Lucretia thought they were gonna get it off the train before it left... woman… (You’ve known these men for how long and you thought they were gonna w h a t?)

Next: Lunar Interlude I, 

[quackspot]

ok i want to talk about my cookie run ocs so i will but below the cut because thats just how it be sdkljklsjklea (im going to TRY not blab out everything i think so then if you want you can send asks)

FROG!! 

ok so hes a liddol baby . he likes to hang out with sand ! theyre best friends and sometimes go to beaches and other places together. he’s very sweet and a little quiet. just a baby.

speaking of sand here they are!!! they dont talk much but when they do it sometimes freaks cookies out due to it being a drippy sand hole like

frog doesnt care about it too much . sometimes he tries to put sticks or something in their mouth just to see what’d happen. sand just eats the stick

rabbit’s foot is ! very lucky to say the least. hes also pretty gullible and easily fall for tricks but due to his luck they never seem to work out. very rarely does something harmful happen to him, though things like disappointing or saddening other cookies can happen. 

SPEAKING of disappointing or saddening cookies... fun dip! he’s often disappointed due to his tricks not working on rabbit’s foot but that only motivates him more. someone once said he looks like he’d be gumballs brother and honestly that’d be a chaotic pair of siblings (while im hesitant about canon relations with ocs..... who cares????). so yeah fun dip and gumball are brothers. 

rabbit’s foot is very much like a young child (though he is aware of a lot of things, he just has a personality alike to a young child. not a brain alike to a young child) and fun dip is a goofball prankster.

almond is very grumpy and they want to be a powerful wizard . honestly if they knew how to contact de or find her they would. also they are very emotional but tend to bottle it up (becuase in their tags on their ref its like “bad boy or crybaby” and i was like ‘’ok both’’). 

they dont hang around cookies often

and now for your local gamer boy. basically mlg jokes all the way around. mtn dew cookie references all that old stuff! theyre likely aware of other things too but theyre like “ah, nah, no thanks bro lolololol” and somehow they have that one robotic male voice? you know  the one in all of cowbelly’s videos that reads the memes? yeah that one. idk how to describe it

they also live off of doritos! besides their pet because it’s kind of obvious that’s a different dorito (plus g4m3r br0 has been existing for a while so it’d taste bad)

(mtn dew cookie is pangender)

garlic cooky! hes a dad and he’s married but that was on ponytown . i made him when me, kiley, and jamie decided to make a lil oc family . kiley made bread cookie his husband and jamie made butter, their daughter. garlic cookie had a very chaotic family when we all actualy messed around on there !

he also adopted some one’s herb pony on ponytown who acted very feral . we joked about dog with a blog because garlic called him the family dog . garlic cookie thinks toe toe (what he named the feral herb) is a dog unironically. like legit. also he’s a vampire ! he’s allergic to himself but isn’t dead yet somehow.

i could talk more about his family but yeah ! 

ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli (this oc was made on ponytown as well ! she acts like plankton) 

she is a gremlin. pretty small. why is there so much evil in you, little cookie? also i was playing with styles in that doodle so like  ? if you want me to draw in that style a bit more then just mention it

ngl i dont like how i doodled corn dog in that one but! corn dog is a baseball player and she’s very much ur classic jock. but nicer. she will want to play with you no matter what you want to play she loves ball games ! considering shipping her with orange cookie for some reason idk why but. if you want corn dog x orange then ig just ask for it sdkljdsljskl ;) i might doodle it too. corn dog x orange x lime? maybe but probably not since it seems like lime would get too jealous too easily

ASIDE from ships i really like how i first drew corn dog

what i struggled with with my doodle was her hair and i need to practice that a bit so i might look up things to practice with that ;-O

birthday cake ! he is chaotic party. very energetic. i completely imagine him whacking his face right into cake at a birthday party like if u gave him the 2nd anniversary cake his message would just be like. “*SPLAT* feels good on my face!” just to make it obvious he threw his face into the cake. also he has eyes he just likes to cover them up. maybe he’s blind but i based the blind fold thing off of terezifjseakljklw jklfjkldjkl jfkljwlkjioKLSJKLFJEKLRwer

gasoline cookie! i only made this character just recently on ponytown. he is very tired and lacking energy and is overall soggy in a sense. party pooper and very serious. i made this guy because i was joking like “if there were a gasoline they’d have a tension with fire spirit thats like ‘’DONT DRINK MY HAIR’’ or something” and then i made him

JAM!!!! they are my baby child and i love them a lot! i even made a blog for them but idk if its still up uhhh @cookiestuckinspace ! send asks there if you’d like i guess? the blog is very dead.  mtn dew is also there! there’s also unicorn cookie but i didn’t draw her.

they are a very sweet cookie who wishes to befriend many aliens! they’ve learned many languages and often mixes things up (as in, like, you know, accidentally saying an alien idiom in english or an english idiom in alien, forgetting words from either language then trying to describe it then BAM remembering. probably said an alien idiom in ANOTHER alien language while speaking in an english conversation). they know plenty of written languages and honestly? they try so hard to make sure every one is heard. theyre not very professional and theyre kinda bad at driving a ship 

whcih is why they let their space buddy drive the ship! yeah their dog, buddy, drives a spaceship. its funky but their dog is literally a spaceship itself.

phoenix!!! i only made him because.... on ponytown there was a mythical beast cult. he likes bugs and orange juice i think? capri suns? i dont know but i think he’s had a drink from a juice box before. theres not much about him but! yeah

RYE COOKIE! hes not really exactly a cookie. more like bread than gingerbread, if you catch what i’m throwing. jam tries really hard to be his friend but he doesnt speak any of hte languages jam knows and jam is trying really hard to figure out what he speaks so they can be friends.

thats all i guess ! please send asks about them or say “would ___ and ___ be friends?” i like to think about the relationships my ocs would have with each other ! 

heres the image i posted earlier with all my ocs with their names! if you read through this then i love you and have a good day <3

[maxtothemax]

Max Einstein: The Genius Experiment - Review

Or overview, really, since I know a lot of you were curious but didn’t want to go through the ordeal of reading it. At least not before someone else screened it. So... you’re welcome.

Authors: James Patterson and Chris Grabenstein

Published: 2018

Genre: middle grade adventure

Overall impressions: Conceptually, I liked it. The plot was intriguing, and Max was a likable character. It suffered from the usual problems of a Patterson production: too fast-paced, not enough details, not enough time spent on character building. (Some of these points will come up in my annotations.) However, it worked as a middle-grade novel. It had a lot of empowering messages for kids, as well as an intriguing and mysterious yet fairly simple plot of good versus evil. The lack of specific detail and fast-paced plot is (unfortunately) common in middle-grade novels, so I can’t exactly fault it for that. I’m going to assume it’s far below the reading level of anyone reading this review, but it’s still an interesting read and I’m planning on reading the sequel, whenever it comes out. There were a lot of unanswered questions regarding Max’s past that I really wish were addressed in this book rather than being saved for later.

My reading notes, by page number, are under the cut (warning for a good amount of swearing, and obviously spoilers).

1 - This girl is living in a dilapidated house?? Where are her parents? (Knowing JP she probably doesn’t have parents.)

3 - Oh! Okay! She’s homeless and living above a horse stable. What the fuck.

10 - Randomly bringing up the “I’m an orphan” thing in narration. Typical.

11 - Doesn’t her suitcase get too heavy with all the books in it?

15 - She goes to school???

19 - Bold of you to assume the cops would actually listen to Max

21 - I’d like more of the backstory on Max’s early childhood, since she has that suitcase but doesn’t know who her parents are. Then where did she get her name? [It’s mentioned later that she doesn’t even have a birth certificate.]

29 - HOW is she in college?? At NYU??

32 - Well, this is sketchy as fuck

33 - ...Max watches The Big Bang Theory??

36 - McS’cuse me?? No one’s going to stop this? A lecture hall full of students and no one’s concerned?? [In the scene in question, Max is being dragged out of the lecture hall by two guys in black suits. It would have been interesting, and more realistic, if another student had tried to intervene. You’d think at least a handful of people in a group of 18-22 year olds might feel protective of the only 12-year-old in their class.]

44 - Aww I like Quincy

If that dude wanted to, like, kidnap Max, why send her to the foster care place at all? [This is later explained, although I don’t think it was a good enough justification.]

48 - Why send her to middle school either?

...God I would’ve loved this in middle school. I probably needed it.

As usual, I just wish the narration would slow down. Add more details.

Actually I’m personally offended by how much this book sounds like something I would’ve written in middle school.

59 - Those two seem kinda sketchy NGL

66 - Don’t you fucking DARE touch Quincy

67 - Okay but what’s the point of disposing of people who aren’t really even a threat? [It’s always putting them in a “re-education” or whatever facility, too, which is probably just because the authors didn’t want the villains outright murdering people, even off-page.]

74 - Max just seems too naive/trusting considering what her life has been like thus far. Or maybe I’m used to Patterson protagonists being snarky and cynical. Both, maybe.

75 - 1. Why is Quincy a snitch? 2. Why would Max have told him anything anyway? They didn’t talk much.

83 - This is sketchy as hell. It just seems too good to be true.

95 - Sketchier and sketchier.

100 - One kid wins? Why not just have them all work together to solve the world’s problems? Also: I know they’re “geniuses,” but why only use children? Because they’re impressionable and malleable? Tend to take things at face value?

[The twist at the end, which I won’t reveal, actually makes the design of the test and a lot of the oversights make a lot more sense.]

113 - “Original investment,” “Einstein Project”... was Max genetically engineered by the Corp? Conspiracy theory.

127 - So I guess Yahav is a spy. Fun.

167 - Why the fuck is Yahav still here? He should’ve been fired!!

I wish Quincy had been a major character...

[Got a case of “getting attached to a minor side character with 0.5 personality traits” syndrome.]

172 - Boy, these villains sure are cartoonishly evil capitalists

200 - Can Klaus please stop being such a dick?

208 - Are they even allowed to mention Tony Stark in here? Like, legally?

You know, this is suspiciously similar to Genius: The Game, which was written by Leopoldo Gout. According to his author bio on Amazon, he’s a filmmaker and has worked with James Patterson on a number of projects (including, I believe, the Maximum Ride movie). Coincidence? Probably not.

227 - I’m beginning to think you don’t know what “mercenary” means

230 - “The girl” come on, y’all know her name

244 - Wait, why aren’t they just troubleshooting to see if they can solve the problem? Why aren’t the geniuses being geniusy? Also: this “failure” isn’t solely on Max’s shoulders, so why is everyone acting like it is?

269 - I’m sorry, what

278 - If you suspected Yahav was a spy, why didn’t you get rid of him??

296 - EXPERIMENTS?? Maximum Ride, where you at??

301 - Why let them go??

315 - I’M SORRY, WHAT

Given the nature of this story, the twist makes sense, but WHAT

God please don’t make this het. Max is 12. She’s too young for romantic subplots.

...That’s the end of my annotations! If anyone else wants to read this book and yell about it with me, my ask box and messages are always open. (You can probably find it in your library’s middle grade section; that’s where I found this copy.)

Also, there’s some pretty gorgeous artwork in the back by different artists. I kinda want prints of them.