#it’s not funny at all i promise you

[yaksha-lover]

You Vamp!Au of TWWL is lovely. Can we introduce some GenZ!Mc in there? U know. For chaos

GenZ!MC + Twst Vampire AU

cw: entirely crack, i tried to make this serious but i can’t, i’m deeply sorry but also i’m gonna have to preface this by saying if the “humour” (it’s not actually funny) is cringe it’s because i am actually a very cringe individual with the sense of humour of a 12 year old. also i’m pretty sure i lost multiple iq points writing this

“Malleus, I have something to tell you. It’s very hard for me to say but,” you pause to work in a sniffle, “I’ve been diagnosed with Ligma. I don’t know how much time I have left.”

With fake tears and tissues straight out of a youtuber apology video, you begin your torment on poor, innocent Malleus.

He’s silent for a moment. Malleus gets up, straight-faced and pulls you into his arms.

“I’m deeply sorry, child of man. I haven’t heard of this illness before but it matters not. Lilia and I will do everything in our power, scour every corner of the earth until we find a cure,” Malleus says, without breaking eye-contact.

“LIGMA BALLS,” you yell. Malleus’ arms loosen in surprise, and you’re able to run, high-five a hiding Ace who’s face has turned red from laughter, and escape to who knows where.

Malleus feels ten years get taken off his life.

-

You’re sitting on the couch with Rook, legs splayed on his lap. Vil is sitting across from you, as far away as he can presumably get, looking disgusted at Rook for associating with you. You make eye contact and blow him a kiss. Vil swerves it, clearly disturbed.

“Begone thot.”

“I don’t know Vil, that’s not what your mom was saying last night when I-“

Rook clamps a hand down on your mouth. It seems even he’s astonished by your depravity. You make eye contact with him before slowly licking his hand. He doesn’t pull away. Okay, now you’re the scared one.

Vil can feel the stress lines forming on his face. He gets up, presumably to start an extensive skin treatment.

-

Sitting in the living room with Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack, playing a game of cards when suddenly your next victim walks in. You put down your winning hand, forgoing your victory for what you know is a good cause, a worthy sacrifice.

“Hey, Trey. Would you mind doing me a favour?” You ask him, tone neutral and inconspicuous.

He stops his path to the kitchen, and turns towards your table.

“Of course, MC, what can I do for you?” Trey smiles in his usual friendly way, unaware of the pain that he’s about to endure, the cringe that will keep him awake at night.

Ace is quite literally dying, Deuce is covering his face with his hands, and Epel is already groaning, knowing your antics far too well. Jack, per usual, is unaffected and keeps playing the game, completely apathetic at this point.

“Well since I’m not allowed to leave the mansion, would you mind picking up something for me in town? There’s this baker Joe told me about who’s apparently amazing,” you gush, watching Trey’s face diligently. You don’t want to miss a single moment of this.

“Joe? Who’s Joe?”

“JOE MAMA BITCH,” you get up and immediately start fortnite dancing on his (figurative) corpse. Trey collapses to his knees. Life has no meaning to him anymore. Ace and Deuce are crying, simultaneously tears of laughter and pain stream down their faces. Epel is curled up in a fetus position on the floor, rocking himself back in forth to try and escape the pure agony. Jack continues playing by himself, now alone at the table.

-

You’ve had mercy on Riddle, thus far, knowing his small body can only contain so much emotion at one time. Alas, the day has come where you can no longer hold yourself back. The day that will be known as ‘the great bofa incident’.

A plan that has been weeks in the making, Riddle has no idea that he’s been perfectly set up to take the bait. With Trey as your accomplice (you told him if he did this for you, you wouldn’t target him again - a lie), Riddle’s been given a recipe that Trey’s assured him needs to be followed exactly, lest the entire dish be ruined.

Together in the kitchen, you sit on the counter while Riddle stands near the stove. He turns to you, holding Trey’s recipe.

“Trey has created quite the intricate dish. Even I haven’t heard of this ingredient. Has Trey provided you with this…bofa? Is that some kind of herb?”

If Riddle had bothered to look up as he spoke, he would see the evil smile forming on your face. Weeks of effort, all culminating into this one moment. Some might call it a waste of time, such a tedious process for such a small moment?

Those who would make such claims are those who have never experienced the pure joy, the rush that comes from a getting someone so unsuspecting with such a fantastic, ingenious even, line.

“Bofa? Yeah I’ve heard of it. HEARD OF PUTTING BOFA DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH.”

Riddle is stunned. Flabbergasted, even. You expect some kind of reaction, maybe even anger or an outburst but he gives you nothing. You leave him alone in the kitchen, simply disappointed.

Riddle locks himself in the his room for weeks following the incident. No one knows if he’s dead or alive. He can’t even cry anymore, only capable of sitting in the corner and staring blankly ahead, trapped in an existential crisis and losing his will to keep going a little more each day.

-

Idia has been going on and on to you about his latest experience with an online troll during one of this gaming sessions. Ample opportunity is created for you to strike again, and you cannot resist your true calling.

“Who?” You say to Idia.

“I don’t know their name, it was just a stranger-“

“No, who asked?”

With this sick blow, you’ve completely shattered all of Idia’s already non-existent self-confidence. He deflates, face planting on the floor and not having the will to get up. Idia is reduced to a heap of blue, becoming a stranger to all emotions except for pure cringe. The doctors say he won’t ever recover.

“Gottem,” you say to yourself as you walk out, leaving the carnage you created behind.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[moominmammaonheroin]

Jonathan Sims is like a shit wizard with googly eyes stuck to his head claiming he’s the prophet

[leucoratia]

My favourite loser scientist (we are legally married)

Handplates!Gaster by @zarla-s (thank you so much for this AU it has given me life for the past 6 years)

[six-legged-sea-leopard]

no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-

[sonicfrontiers]

i think every splatoon player should look up at least some of the band lore bc it’s all so fucking funny. all of it is like

“the frontman of the most popular influential band of all time doesn’t actually know anything about music theory or even how to read music he just makes noises with his guitar that he thinks sounds cool and it works” 

“the lead singer of this band sucks at music and the rest of the band berates him for it all the time. the fiddler of the band is particularly violent about it and has almost dissolved the band multiple times because of it. there is official art of them beating the fuck out of each other”

“the bassist of the most popular influential band of all time left because everyone was too nice to each other. he met a dj who he fucking hated and the two of them fought so hard they formed a duo. they refuse to record together and don’t even look at each other during performances and their music bangs bc of it”

“pearl used to be the lead singer of this band but the rest of the members did not like her so they kicked her out. they replaced her with a 10 year old child they found on twitter”

[catgirljaneway]

if there's one thing Kathryn Janeway is gonna do, it's look at her employees like the 🥺🥺 emoji

[personishfive]

in which goro is recruited

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[xanderscollection]

🧍‍♂️

[zeb-z]

also can I just say. the difference between the joy of fit and bagi having a full day with blue, getting acquainted with the base, reuniting with their loved ones, all relieved to have more materials and more of a team - and then the absolute misery of etoiles and roier, moving the few valuable possessions red has to a new base that got immediately discovered anyway, losing all their gear, getting it back, then burning it themselves before killing eachother, is just so fucking funny. the new blues had freshman orientation while the new reds had a trial by fire canon event

[humming-fly]

a variety of meta knight incorrect quotes all at once since i was too lazy to make separate posts happy meta monday everyone 

(also was anyone gonna tell me meta knight goes to literal hell in one of the light novels or did i just have to find that out myself)

[seepingfrommyskin]

“I don’t belong with you, I never did.”

hi yes my first time posting my art here and I come bearing fanart for @hella1975 ‘s amazing atla fic The Art of Burning, you can find this specific scene in chapter 28! if you haven't read it yet I highly recommend.

(click for better quality)

[kayvsworld]

sorry to be doing mcu throwback complaints again and EXTRA sorry for it to be about cacw and aou, sorry, i just am thinking again that if marvel had. in aou. committed to letting steve rogers see that captain america graffiti calling him a fascist with his own two eyes i would have forgiven many of their subsequent deeds and crimes

[ratguy-nico]

So this is the comic, I wish to say is something original but this is exactly what happened in the "Bob Actually" san valentine episode, good episode, dont really like the Gene part, I know, a shocker, but all in all a great episode.

Also this whole dialog is taken out of another tv serie and I challengue you to know wich one, dont tag it until some one guess it.

Hope you like it like I dont.

Is in spanish too because some times me baja el amor por mi lengua materna, and this is one of this ocasions.

[leonardalphachurch]

i know this is the found family fandom but honestly. we’ve always been a fan of groups growing up and moving past each other. like i think the ending was a little stupid bc simmons is just… in blood gulch now? the leader of an empty base??? but uh. the idea of grif going home and simmons staying in the army. yeah. like yeah. that’s probably how we would’ve written it too.