#it’s that if you have an opportunity & the means to take it

[enbyhyena]

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[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When They're Drunk|Hyungline

Warnings: Mentioning of alcohol, Complete and utter shanagigans and tomfoolery

Maknaeline

Chan|

“Hehe.” You snapped your head back, looking for the owner of the noise that just blessed your ears. When you couldn’t find the perpetrator you turned back to cutting up vegetables for the soup you were making.

“Hehe.” 

You turn around again. Surely you couldn’t have imagined that. You sighed, shaking your head. Am I going crazy?

Not even a minute passed and you heard it once more.

“Hehe.” This time when you turned you felt your foot hit something soft and squishy.

Chris just side eyed the foot that just kicked his dimpled cheeks and then trailed those same beautiful brown eyes up to you.

“Christopher Bahng get up from the floor, that's nasty!” 

“Hehehehehe.” He continuously giggled as you stared down at him, not even trying to help him get up because you were confident in your inability to do so.

Instead you set aside the knife for your vegetables and slouched down on the floor as well.

“Hehehehehe.” 

“Whats so funny?”

“Carrot.”

You deadpanned at the Aussie in front of you and it sparked another fit of uncontrollable “hehe”’’s.

“Love, what on earth is so funny about carrots?”

His lips shot out into a kissy face as he shook his head. “You don- hehhehe - undertan-heheheh-the- jo-hehehe.”

You sighed as you watched him try- but fail in explaining what he thought was so funny about the crunchy orange vegetable.

“Chris, I think tonight is the last time you should ever drink alcohol, baby.”

Your boyfriend - fiance - looked at you, his dimples showing even more as the giggles kept coming out of him.

“But I had to celebrate!” He pulled your hand from off the ground and put it close to his face. He outlined the ring he had given you. “See? This is a cause for celebration.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched the man in front you look at your ring as if he was staring at his laptop screen - with complete 100% undivided attention.

“Chris, you knew I was going to say yes to marrying you, baby. Who in their right mind wouldn’t say yes?”

“Mmmm…a lot of people. Hehe.” 

You got up from the ground, this time Chris coming up with you.

“Alcohol…it…hehe…hehe…hehe…” 

At this point, anyone would have been annoyed with this amount of giggling from a drunk person. But his giggle was so heartbreakingly adorable you couldn’t help but turn around and kiss the lips it was escaping from.

His eyes widened and he cocked his head. “Why…”

“Why did I kiss you?”

“Y-hehe.” He started laughing, his giggles becoming nearly uncontrollable to the point he started coughing- then gagging - then straight up heaving onto the kitchen counter.

Onto the vegetables you had been cutting up for dinner.

You let out an exasperated breath, all while keeping a smile on you face as Chris stared at you wide eyed.

“I didn’t mean to!” He whined, a small hiccup accompanying the sad gesture.

“I know you didn't, baby. You just giggled too much.” You said as you took a damp cloth and began wiping at his face - taking the opportunity to poke his dimple.

“I’m sorry…” His lip poked out in a pout.

“Don’t be. It mighttttt have been one of the reasons I fell for you so hard in the first place.

He smiled and looked out you lovingly as you continued to wipe his face.

This time you were the one to let out the giggle.

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Minho|

Minho was extremely drunk. You didn’t know how he got so carried away with his drinks. He usually was very careful with the amount of alcohol he ingested, just in case things were to potentially get out of hand and get leaked to the press. 

But even if it did get leaked- you know nothing bad would come of it. Because Minho was not an extreme drunk.

Unless he was extremely caring.

“Baby, you have to put a jacket on or else you’ll get cold.” Minho said as he stripped himself of his jacket and placed it over your shoulders. You chuckled as you took off the jacket, because you were sitting in the guys' dorms, and it was rather warm in there. 

Minho huffed and put his jacket over you again.

“Yah! Baby. You need to put my jacket on or else you’ll be cold.” He said his voice turned more stern in the slightest.

“Its hot in here though…”

“Thats just all the alc…ac..al…acl- thats because you drank too much, love.” His head was shaking as he gave a few tsk tsk sounds. “You had too much fun.”

You sure it was me who had too much fun?

When he turned away to walk to the kitchen you slipped off your cardigan so you’d be slightly less warm, and to make Minho happy by wearing his cologne stained jacket. You inhaled as you always did. His scent bringing every single thought of him to mind.

You smiled as Minho walked back into the living room on wobbly feet with Advil and water. 

“Baby take these. It will help when you’re hungover tomorrow.”

“I’m completely sober, love.” You say, laughter coating your voice. 

Minho groaned and hit his head like a frustrated toddler. “YA! Baby! You’ll be hungover tomorrow if you don’t take your medicine! Here. Here.” He said pushing the medicine into your hands. You tried handing them back but he just groaned. “You’re so stubborn when you’re drunk. I’m never letting you eat again” 

“Eat?”

“Drink I mean drink.” He said, looking up as if he was thinking. “Yeah, drink.” He poured out a few more advil but then the entire bottle fell and the medicine scattered across the floor.

“I can’t have my baby’s head hurt.” He said, shaking his own. He picked up a few medicine tablets of the ground and blew on them. Then he pat your head and shot up onto wobbly feet once more, making a beeline for the fridge to get you a snack, forgetting to hand you the medicine he intended to give you.

He came back with a tub of icecream and a spoon. “Here!” He pushed the tub into your hands, the warmth of his own contrasting with the frigid feel of the container.

As Minho placed both his hands on his knees as he knelt down in front of you, making sure you eat and take your advil, you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of love for your husband..

“Minho, can you take it first?” You stuck out your lip and gave your best pleading face. “I don’t like it but if you take it first I promise I will.” You said raising your hand.

Without question he swallowed a couple of pills, downing a good bit of the water.

“Anything for my babyyyyy.” He laid his chin in your lap and opened his mouth, waiting for you to spoon feed him. 

His lips wrapped around the spoon in a small “O” but pulled back with a big smile.

“Baby.” He said poking your leg. “And baby.” He said poking your tummy.

“And baby.” You said poking his nose. 

He gave a quick nod and opened his mouth again, as you pet his hair. Except this time he pulled back with a frown.

“Baby! Why are you drinking so much! YA YOU’RE PREGNANT YOU CAN’T DRINK.” He pulled his head off of your lap and was about to scold you again, but instead rushed up to get to the bathroom but made it as far as the kitchen sink before he let out the contents of his celebratory night.

He looked up after giving a long sigh, the exhaustion for the night hitting him almost immediately.

He whimpered and went to go hug you, putting his head on your shoulder. 

“I think I’m drunk…” He whined.

“And I think I’m pregnant.”

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Changbin|

“YAH!! WHY ARE YOU LOOOKING AT MY PARTNER?!” You had to hold Binnie back as he kicked his tiny little legs trying to get to the poor guy who had only glanced in your general direction.

“CHANGBIN JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” 

The angry little gym rat turned to you and pouted. “He looked at you.”

“Be so for real Bin.”

“I am. His eyes landed on you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as Changbin deadpanned at you, and the guy quickly scurried away.

“Changbin you won’t bite, but you’ll sure as hell bark.”

“I will bite.”

“Really, now?”

Changbin nodded with determination. “Watch and learn.” He waddled up to his hyung and latched his teeth onto Christopher’s shoulder.

“HOLY SHIT-” Chris pulled away quickly and Changbin smiled a you. “I told you I bite!” He said as he mimicked the nerd and finger emoji combination.

Seungmin and Minho were laughing their asses off as Chris looked at your boyfriend horrified. The at you with a look of utter betrayal.

“Y/N… how could you even suggest that.” He said his eyes wide.

“I didn’t think he’d actually bite to be honest…”

Changbin waddled back over to you and latched his arm by your side. Looking around intently.

“What are you looking for baby?”

“Enemies. If another dares to look at my preciou- hnnnghh - Y/N I’ll rip their - hnnnghgh - face off.”

You all paused in the middle of the street, allowing Changbin a few minutes of fresh air and even breathing until his nausea passed.

“He gets really feisty when drunk, huh?” Felix asked as you guys all sat on the sidewalk, Minho patting the younger’s back while he bent over closer to the ground - even though with his height he was basically at the ground. 

“Yeah haha… I knew he was possessive but I didn’t expect him to be this possessive.”

Changbin looked up to a see a woman and her child walking and he yelled out again. “ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY PRECIOUS Y/N-IE???”

The woman looked at Changbin as if he was a psycho and ushered herself and her child off quickly.

Felix began to laugh which sparked a fit of laughter from all of the people. 

“He really does want to pick a fight with every single person that walks by.” Hyunjin commented as he shot a look towards a group of young kids walking towards you guys.

They saw a drunk man bent over and like the smart kids they were crossed the street.

“He’s a handful.” You groan as you lay back on the sidewalk. Not even considering the amount of germs on it. “But he’s my handful.”

“Quite literally too. Because he is about as small as Bangchan is old,  and Hyunjin is dramatic.” Seungmin commented without so much as a smile. You couldn’t help but laugh at how serious he was.

“YAH SEUNGMINNNNNNN!! WHY ARE YOU MAKING Y- HNNHNDKFH-” Before he could finish his sentence Changbin was throwing up and you got up to go help him.

“Y/N…I don’t feel good.” 

“I know baby, I know.” You said. 

“Why do people keep looking at you? I only want to look at you.” He said as you guys all continued that last final stretch to the dorm.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m pretty?”

“No. You’re beautiful theres a difference.”

You smiled and opened your mouth to ask what exactly about you was beautiful, but Changbin ripped himself from your arms and started rushing towards a middle aged man who was stepping out of a restaurant with his wife.

“YAHHHH!”

You groaned and rushed after your little angry toddler - vowing to never let him get this drunk again.

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Hyunjin|

Hyunjin sat across from you at the sports bar you guys were at. Seungmin had dragged you all along to watch the world series with him; and since you guys were in America you thought the Kids thought it would be a fun experience to experience an American sports bar.

Hyunjin had long since drunk his fair share of alcohol.

“Its not like in Korea…” He had said before he went down the rabbit hole of different beverages.

Chan had been glancing over in concern, but relaxed a little when he noticed how well you were taking care of your boyfriend.

You popped an onion ring in your mouth and Hyunjin was staring at the basket of fried goodness in front of you.“Do you like onions? Would you like one?”

Hyunjin shook his head- yet proceeded to grab one and place it on your ring finger, then placing one on his.

“See Jagiya? We’re married now.” He mumbled, his cheeks flushed, a beautiful but slightly concerning pink.

“Baby, I think its time we get you back to the hotel.” You informed Chris that you would be taking Hyunjin back.

“Are you sure thats safe? I can send another one of the guys with you-” You shook your head. “Okay. Just call me if you need anything?” 

“Of course Christopher. And don’t worry. I grew up in this city so I know my way around.” You say giving a friendly wink and helping Hyunjin up from his chair.

The night breeze was cool, and you figured it would help Hyunjin sober up slightly.

Which you were correct about, since about ¾ of the way back to the hotel he was coherent enough to make normal conversation - albeit his response time was somewhat slow and his answers slightly slurred.

You noticed a small group of girls lock eyes with you and widen them simultaneously.

“Jinnie. I think you have some fans.” You said, a smile appearing on your face as they slowly made their way over. You helped them get over their hesitation as you waved them over.

“We won’t bite!” You giggled.

They came up to you and seemed to struck to speak.

“I-Is that…you and Hyunjin?”

You chuckled. “Yeah we were going to go public soon, but they were trying to figure out how to break the news that Hyunjin was dating a staff member…but I assume a lot of you have peeped something out. Especially since we’ve been together over a year now. The only reason why we’ve decided to disclose at all is because you guys are so intuitive. Stay should the new FBI.” You joked. The girls immediately eased up and Hyunjin bowed to them, giving a slightly sloppy smile. 

“Can we get a picture?” One of the girls asked, you looked at Hyunjin but the girl corrected herself. “We meant like..with… both of you? You guys are adorable together!” You felt your heart almost burst at your first supporting fans of you and Jinnie’s relationship.

“Baby are you good to take a picture?”

He nodded- in a seeming state of almost complete soberness and posed happily for a few pictures with you and the stays.

“Are we allowed to post this?” One of them asked meekly.

“I would wait until JYP releases an official announcement of our relationship. But after that of course.” You dig in your purse and pull out a few photocards. “Here…I think Chris and…Seungmin signed these ones. And this one is… Binnie!” You said handing them the cards. “Baby…can you sign the cards too?”

Hyunjin nodded and signed the cards, and you heard one of the girls gasp in surprise.

Hyunjin still had the onion ring on his finger.

“Jinnie! Why the fuck-frick do you still have the onion ring on your finger?!” You asked in complete shock, correcting yourself in front of the girls.

“Because we’re married? Duh.” He said in complete seriousness. He bowed to the girls politely and then came up with force. “Remember when you post to caption Y/N as my wife. I’ll even let you take a picture with the rings too.” He nudged your shoulder, provoking you to stick out your hand as well, and the girls looking at each other with slight giggles as they all snapped pictures of your and Hyunjin’s hands.

Once they were finished they waved goodbye they scurried off in the opposite direction.

You let out a big guffaw. “I really hope you remember this Jinnie.”

~~~~

“Y/N? Why is there a picture of my hand with an onion ring going viral on social media?”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric @panbish-1209

[salethe2]

I’ve seen a lot of takes on this scene, and honestly they’re all so interesting, so I decided to give my perspective.

Okay, starting with Armand’s costume, which Carol Cutshall absolutely nailed. Here’s what she said about Armand’s costume design:

—“One of the things about Armand is he is so ancient and so powerful that he always presents himself as very open. Whereas some of the other characters are very covered up, he’s always very open because he really doesn’t see anyone as a threat to himself. He didn’t have any predators or any reason to be on guard, or be armoured.”

Personally, I find this design choice fascinating because, despite being a predator at the top of the food chain, vampires like Armand, especially as a coven leader, would normally need to remain vigilant. Yet, he’s completely at ease, even surrounded by other vampires.

I mean, look at him here. Sure, it’s not the deep, open V-neck shirts he wears in the interview scenes, but his outfit is still loose and open. And he’s literally surrounded by a group of vampires he knows are plotting against him. He even has his back to said vampires and yet, he’s not the least bit nervous in either situation!

Even with Daniel, he’s not nervous or afraid because he doesn’t initially see him as a threat.

So, if Armand isn’t scared of his own coven—a bunch of vampires ready to kill him at the first opportunity—or Daniel, who could potentially expose all his manipulations, then why on earth does he go into full armor mode to meet a seemingly inconsequential human he’s never encountered before? He’s literally in a turtleneck, shielding his most vulnerable area for crying at loud!

A for body language—honestly, Assad Zaman deserved an Emmy for this scene. We see Armand being aloof, a little suave and condescending, employing the whole, “I’m a four-century-old vampire; you’re just a lowly human” tactic. It’s like he’s sizing her up, wanting to understand who she is while simultaneously aiming to provoke her, curious to see how she will react.

As for his questions, he frames them in the way you might expect a coven leader to interrogate a human he’s about to turn. Questions like, “How will you survive? Are you okay with killing people and being a monster?” It almost seems like he’s trying to make her reconsider her decision to turn, but it’s all a facade.

Because the question he really wants to ask is the last one, and when he finally approaches it, his entire demeanor shifts.

He sheds the suave demeanor and shifts to a more serious tone, embodying what Louis describes as his "post-apocalyptic look." He towers over Madeleine, gazing down at her in an attempt to intimidate. At this point, Madeleine's expression turns genuinely nervous, perhaps even frightened—and understandably so. Yet, she holds her ground. It's then that Armand poses the crucial question he had come specifically to ask.

“And what will you do in a few decades when she throws herself into the fire? Because she will.”

Now, why does this question seem familiar? It’s because Armand has previously made a similar statement to Louis. He had forewarned Louis that Claudia’s mind was bound to deteriorate over time. Now, Louis tearfully countered that Armand couldn’t be sure of this, yet part of him probably recognized the truth in Armand’s words, which likely contributed to his emotional plea for Armand to look after her.

Armand realized then that Louis, despite his deep love for Claudia, lacked the resolve to keep her grounded, effectively sealing her fate, which seemed all but inevitable by that point. He even assigns Claudia the role of Lulu as a way to infantilize her and further break her spirit—almost as a test to gauge Louis’ reaction. Unfortunately, Louis does nothing about it, while Madeleine clearly recognizes it for the manipulation it is.

And what does she do next? Madeleine quickly gets Claudia out of that outfit and into one more fitting for her. By doing this, she threatens Armand’s plans without even realizing it.

It’s also interesting to note that the only time Armand is ever truly angry with Claudia is when he sees her with Madeleine. This reaction underscores the threat he perceives in their bond, disrupting his control of the situation, and here is why.

When Armand posed the question to Madeleine about what she would do when Claudia throws herself into the fire, her response was:

“Or maybe she won’t. You don’t know. Maybe I’m what she needs to survive.”

And the way she meets his gaze as she says this marks a shift in their conversation. Throughout their entire conversation, Madeleine often looks away and breaks eye contact, but not in this moment. Here, she meets his gaze head-on. Even though she is clearly nervous, and likely a bit scared, she holds his gaze because she is sure of her words. This is a powerful moment where Madeleine not only asserts her belief but also turns the tables—now, it’s Armand’s turn to feel uneasy.

Of course, you don’t see it in his face, but it’s evident in his body language. The way he becomes closed off, his hand fidgeting, and his gaze fixed ahead as if deep in thought. He doesn’t even refute her.

Even with Lestat, when he warns him about Nicky, Armand doesn’t stay silent; he confidently affirms his insights, and Lestat—of all people—clearly believes him. But with Madeleine, it’s a different story. He goes silent, not uttering a word in response. He doesn’t attempt to persuade her because he recognizes that her mind is made up, her resolve unshakable. But perhaps the words that really hit home for him were “You don’t know.” This was probably the words that sealed Madeleine’s fate because the last thing you want to say to a master manipulator and control freak like Armand is that they don’t know something. Because now, all of a sudden Claudia’s death isn’t a certainty anymore and he can’t just sit back and wait for her to lose her sanity. He must take matters into his own hands now.

Anyway, one might think that Madeleine and Claudia leaving, thereby leaving Louis all to Armand, would satisfy him. After all, one of the first things he asks Claudia and Madeleine is if they’re considering returning to Paris, and you might assume Madeleine’s answer pleased him. However, her answer doesn’t satisfy him, not after what Madeleine says soon after.

Madeleine’s words confirm that Claudia indeed loves Louis, and because Madeleine loves Claudia, she persuades her to return to Paris despite her obvious and valid disdain for the city. This revelation proves to Armand, even if they leave Louis, Madeleine and Claudia will always remain a significant part of Louis’s life. For Armand, this is intolerable. To him, Claudia is a dangerous manipulator and a competitor of Louis’s attention.

So even if they all lived happy, separate lives, Armand’s nature is such that he cannot live with the doubt and fear that Claudia might draw Louis away from him. Having been abandoned too many times in his life, deeply wounded by those closest to him, and left behind for others, he cannot risk experiencing that pain again.

Thus, in that moment when he speaks to Madeleine in the apartment, he decides that both she and Claudia need to be eliminated. I believe this was the real reason Armand was there under the pretense of turning her. He needed to evaluate how much of a threat Madeleine posed to his plans, and upon realizing she was basically a live grenade, he knew he needed to act swiftly to get rid of her. Because as long as Madeleine is present, so will Claudia, and as long as Claudia exists, Louis will never truly belong to Armand.

[stunie]

“DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOU, I SWEAR!”

WIND BREAKER BOYS + ACCIDENTALLY HURTING YOU. ft. hayato suo, kaji ren, nirei akihiko, sakura haruka, togame jo, & umemiya hajime x f!reader.

filled request: “Hi there i want to request something, asking Sakura, Ume, Nirei, Kaji and Suo to play fight and they accidentally hit you hard (If it's to many you can just do Suo and Kaji, no pressureeee)”

sfw. 3.2K wc. a/n: added togame! & tried to make suo & kaji’s xtra long since those 2 look like they might be ur faves <33

HAYATO SUO.

in the time you’ve spent dating suo, you have never once managed to successfully sneak up on him. not even remotely close. it’s impossible to the point that you’ve started to consider the fact that your boyfriend may have developed a sort of sixth sense since meeting you, an intuitive awareness of your presence— because as soon as you step within a three foot radius of him, his head is swiftly turning to face you, greeting you with an amused smile and a “this again?” with that tone that has your eyebrow twitching all over again.

you continue to fiddle with the bottom of your shirt from where you’re hidden behind your apartment door, anxiously awaiting for the moment suo emerges from outside. your plan was nothing short of perfect, every little detail thought out— and you were entirely sure of it this time.

you had given suo a copy of your key ages ago, so that he could come in at anytime without you needing to be there. a second check of your phone’s messages has you mentally preparing yourself when you reread his “i’m coming~” text from exactly twenty minutes ago, and you smile to yourself. asking him to come by and babysit your cat while you went on a quick snack restock errand was the best excuse, and a part of you feels a little guilty for formulating such an intricate plan just to get a scare out of your boyfriend— but it had to be done.

the sound of suo’s key wiggles inside the doorknob, your breath hitching in your throat when you hear the lock switch just a few seconds after, followed by the eerie creaking noise that your door always seems to make.

“i’m here,” suo sings out to no one in particular, his usual smile etched onto his face as he takes a peek inside. dark, and empty. nothing unusual, not that he was expecting anything out of the ordinary in the first place.

as soon as he takes a step inside, he’s going to take off his shoes first, and you jump on the opportunity. you’re quick to lunge at him the second his thumb slips in his shoe, aiming to launch yourself into his middle and crush him in a suffocating hug. you don’t miss the way he tenses for a split second, eyes widening at the sudden movement— mind immediately flashing to his first thought…. an intruder?

he doesn’t recognize you at first, your figure reduced to a blur— and all he knows is that something is headed towards him. and fast. he’s moving on pure instinct, arm reaching for the closest thing to him at that moment: your arm.

you gasp when you realize just how agile your boyfriend really is. the truth is— you’ve never seen him fight, and he doesn’t really talk to you about it. he has a habit of leaving all the details out, and you don’t usually find yourself asking him about it after seeing the way he’s always coming out of fights unscathed. so sure. you knew he was probably pretty strong.

but you had no idea he was like this.

“w-wait!” you yelp when his foot comes to loop around your ankle, and you’re suddenly falling backwards. your hand desperately moves to catch onto something— anything to avoid falling onto the floor, so you grab a fistful of suo’s shirt.

he’s clenching his jaw in shock when you roughly yank him down with you, the familiar sound of your voice registering a second too late, because the two of you are crashing onto the ground a second later, suo’s weight knocking the wind out of your chest.

there’s a moment of silence as the two of you wince, your eyes fluttering open to meet with suo, looming over you with an expression you’ve never seen on him before. genuine concern … and what looks to be .. shock?

it takes you another moment to take note of the subtle warmth you’re feeling until you finally recognize it as suo’s hand that’s currently cradling the back of your head— and you’re at a loss as to exactly when or how he managed to do that in only a split second.

“i’m sorry,” suo chuckles sheepishly, “you got me this time. i really thought you were an intruder.”

“but did you hit your head? hard? are you okay?” he continues, other arm coming to pull you up and hold you against his chest. “tell me.”

“i think so,” you’re barely able to mumble, heat rushing to your cheeks at the realization that suo’s first thought wasn’t to cushion his own fall, but to protect your head instead. “not that hard though… i think. it doesn’t hurt very much.”

suo’s gaze on you is suddenly much more noticeable, and you’re tearing your eyes away from him a second later, sneaking glances back and forth as he continues to search for any signs of pain.

none that he notices, and the way your lips are pressed in a nervous line is a good sign, at least. suo lets out a relieved sigh before he’s smiling again, as if you hadn’t just spooked the sealed spirits out of him.

“let’s not do that again, okay?”

KAJI REN.

you’ve never seen the night market this packed in your entire life.

it’s so busy that it’s almost suffocating, each breath taking double the effort from the way your body is being smothered between people as kaji leads you towards the food stands.

‘the best fried octopus you’ll ever try,’ your friend had said…but you’re seriously reevaluating you and kaji’s decision to come here— on the busiest night all summer to top it off.

it definitely wasn’t the best idea the two of you have come up with.

you’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve said the words “excuse me!” and “sorry, getting through!” tonight. a part of you feels bad for your boyfriend— because you knew kaji was way worse off than you, the scowl on his face running the risk of being permanently etched onto his face from the sheer intensity of his glare. the grip he has on your wrist is tighter than ever before, trying his best to weave his way through the crowd without losing you.

kaji knows his mood is worsening each time someone bumps into him, and twice— or even three times as much when he feels someone bumping into you instead. he can feel the way your body roughly jerks back from the impact, and it was stressing him out more than he could imagine. the possibility of losing you and leaving you all alone in an aggressive crowd like this was the last thing he wanted.

he’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear you call out his name the first time, or the second time. not even the third time. he doesn’t hear your voice trail off a bit when you mention that his grip is starting to hurt a little— to maybe hold hands instead.

he didn’t hear any of it.

kaji catches a glimpse of an emptier area, and he’s suddenly pulling harder at your wrist to lead you to it, not hearing you squeak out an “ouch, that hurts!”

and it hurts badly, warm tears welling up in your eyes as you struggle to try and keep up with him. it’s only when he suddenly jerks you around a corner that you’re tripping over the curb, stumbling and crashing into his back with a loud ‘ouch!’ that he finally turns to take a look at you.

kaji’s eyes are widening at the sight— your teary eyes peering up at him through wet lashes and your hand gingerly rubbing at your wrist. his words catch in his throat, barely able to sputter out an “are you.. okay?”

you shake your head quickly, lips tugging to a shaky frown. “you were hurting my wrist, kaji.”

his chest feels tight.

kaji is quick to bring your hand in his, gently cupping your hand as he looks at your wrist, and the guilt is flooding through him all at once. the thought of hurting you has him grimacing, feeling physically ill just thinking about it, and it’s not long before his mind is racing through all the scenarios.

he didn’t want to hurt you— and he doesn’t want to be someone you saw as ‘dangerous’ either. your wrist was so delicate, and it was a terrifying reminder of his strength— because he didn’t even realize that he was squeezing in the first place.

he truly had no idea.

“it’s okay,” your voice slices through the thick air, ripping him out of his thoughts, “i know you were stressed— it was scary over there.”

“i was scared too, kaji.”

the gentle smile you give him is the only thing that can bring him this much comfort, he thinks. it’s enough to clear his head, his heartbeat settling down, and he’s ripping another lollipop open before popping it in his mouth, turning and kneeling onto the floor.

“you can get on.”

even without his words, it’s a gesture you’re very familiar with— so you don’t hesitate for a second before climbing onto his back, arms circling around kaji as he lifts you up. there’s a subtle pink dusting the tips of your ears when you press a gentle kiss to his head, thanking him for carrying you.

“it’s not a problem,” he grumbles, voice coming out low as a futile attempt to hide the excited thump of his heart.

“get comfy up there, because we’re not leaving this damn market until we get a hold of those octopus.”

NIREI AKIHIKO.

nirei swears that he had no idea that the pillow he had just thrown towards you a moment ago had buttons decorating the outside.

he really didn’t know, and of course it was the only pillow that happened to land right on your face.

“i’m so sorry! are you okay?” his voice comes out frantic as he rushes towards you, terrified eyes watching the way you rub your eye and groan in pain. this was terrible, he was terrible. pillows were never supposed to cause you any pain.

“it…it hit your eye? i’m so sorry,” he repeats, hands coming up to do something— wave around you in panic, because he’s not quite sure if he should touch you or leave you be. his hands hover just in front of your face, mind racing with potential ways he could help.

he jolts when you laugh a bit.

“you really picked the worst pillow,” your laugh comes out strained as you try and blink, vision spotted with dots from the hit you’ve taken. “…it’s okay though.”

it takes you a couple more seconds to see nirei clearly, and you can tell that he’s absolutely devastated with just one glance, nervous hands finally coming to grab at your shoulders, keeping you still so he can inspect your eye.

“let me see.”

he’s leaning in a bit, until his face is just a couple inches in front of yours. “i think um,” he squints a bit, ignoring the warmth rising to his cheeks from the proximity, “i think your eye looks fine.”

the guilt is still eating him alive. a part of him wishes that you had been the one to grab that pillow instead, because he’s certain he would have jumped on the opportunity to tank a hit from a buttoned pillow a thousand times before letting it hit you just once. straight in the eye. anywhere. it doesn’t matter to him.

“it probably is,” you give him a small smile, “but you still cheated. i won that fight.”

SAKURA HARUKA.

“i-i didn’t know you were there!”

sakura’s a complete and utter mess, and he genuinely didn’t know any better. he didn’t hear you creeping up behind him, so when your arms suddenly wrapped around his middle, his reflex was to jab his elbow straight behind him— and it hit you square in the face.

he could feel his heart shatter into pieces when the sound of your yelp rang in his ears, jerking his body around only to see you stagger backwards, clutching your nose and peering up at him through those teary eyes.

sakura doesn’t know what to do. you’re sniffling now, your arms reaching out to hug him a second time, your voice barely coherent as you start babbling with a shaky voice, the only words he could recognize being “i deserve a hug for that.”

he’s a complete mess. he’s stiff when he lets you wrap your arms around his middle this time, face flushed with red at the simple touch and his heart hurting at the sound of you sniffling against his jacket, hand coming to wipe at the tears welling up in your eyes.

it’s impossible for him to not think of the worst— because he knows other guys wouldn’t be making this kind of mistake. his friends wouldn’t have elbowed you in the face in the first place. or at the very least, his friends would know how to comfort someone in this type of situation. he wants to kick himself for just standing there, words catching in his throat every time he tries and apologize.

“sorry…” your voice is quiet, but it’s enough to yank him out his thoughts. “i shouldn’t have scared you like that.”

it takes sakura a couple seconds before his mouth is falling at the apology. “huh?” he’s dumbfounded, hands coming to grab at your shoulders, “i should be apologizing!”

his face erupts in a furious blush when you giggle at his reaction, thumb coming to swipe at the tears that have spilled onto your cheeks. it’s only then when he tugs you back into a tight hug, hand cradling the back of your head to hold you flush against him.

he thinks it’s because he can’t stand to see you cry.

“o-oh?” you whisper against his chest. “this is new.”

sakura chooses to ignore your little remark, clenching his jaw as he glares at your wall, gaze locking on anything except you. “i should be sorry,” he repeats again, his voice barely coherent with the way he’s fighting against his blush, “so you should just … you know. tell me. when you want a hug..”

TOGAME JO. (pet name: doll)

“that’s not right, doll,” togame coos from below you, lips tugging into an amused grin as he watches you struggle to master the self-defense moves that you asked him to teach you an hour ago. or maybe two. it’s normal for him to lose track of time when he’s with you anyway.

your boyfriend doesn’t seem to realize that you don’t have the same stamina he does. or the focus, because you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks again— unsure if it’s because you’re embarrassed of your confused attempts at grabbing him, or if it’s the fact that he’s so casually sprawled out underneath you.

“you listenin’?”

you perk up, followed by a delayed nod. a little too obvious, but he doesn’t say anything.

“you grab me here,” his voice is gentle, guiding your hands back to hover over his body, “and then you pull. remember?”

and you nod again. but the sound of his voice, slow and steady, paired with the way he’s lazily propped up on his elbows to look up at you through tired eyes has your mind spinning all over again, instructions already going out your other ear as you try again and take a large fistful of his sweatshirt.

“..like this?”

he hums, lips tugging into a smile. “that’s good, doll. now pull the way i showed you.”

and you do— or you try to. you tug with all your strength, but you can tell he hasn’t moved an inch. you can hear him hum in wonder above you, and that’s all it takes for your eyes to slam shut as you jerk and pull with all your strength— and you feel some movement for the first time tonight.

“wait…” togame interrupts, but you don’t stop, pulling and pulling— not realizing you’ve inched towards to very edge of your mattress. “wait— we’ll fall,” he repeats with a little more urgency.

it’s a second too late when you realize it, eyes shooting open the second gravity tips the balance, and you’re plummeting backwards with a shriek. togame’s twisting his body to catch you as fast as he can, but the frantic movement has his fist connecting with your cheek before he grabs a hold of you, yanking you upwards and into him.

“fuck,” you wince, rubbing your cheek with the back of your hand as you huff. “that hurt a bit..”

“sorry,” togame lulls, legs spread to have you seated right in front of him, “i was trying to catch you… didn’t mean to smack you like that. are you okay..?”

his hands come to cup your cheeks, tilting your head up to look at the him. the familiar heat in your cheeks returns as soon as you lock eyes with him, because he’s so close. you can feel his breath fan against your lips with the proximity.

and he’s looking right at you.

“‘m okay,” your voice is just above a whisper, “you barely even grazed me, anyway..”

UMEMIYA HAJIME.

“when did you take that?!”

your arms shoot up to reach for ume’s phone, cheeks burning with embarrassment— because that had to be the most foul photo you’ve ever seen of yourself. the sound of your boyfriend erupting into the loudest laugh you’ve heard all day only has you seething— and he’s effortlessly holding his phone just out of your reach, as if to taunt you even further.

“you don’t need to know,” he grins widely, watching the way you shift your weight onto your toes in a futile attempt to reach his phone. “and it’s cute! you don’t think so?”

“give it!” you hiss, and you lunge forward to start pulling at the arm that has the phone, “i’m deleting it!”

“no way,” he retorts with a huff, but you’re pulling his sleeve with your full strength, and it catches ume off guard a bit, foot stumbling forward a step. he’s never seen you pull with all your might— so he just wasn’t expecting it.

you’re lunging again before he’s regained his balance, and he shifts his weight backwards, lower back colliding with the table behind him. his phone slips from his grip too fast for either of you to react, and it lands on your nose with a sickening thud.

his laughter vanishes as soon as you’re letting out a pained yelp, hands coming to clutch your nose, squeezing the bridge to ease the pain.

“ow….” you whimper, voice cracking a bit as tears start to flood your lash line. his heart breaks in two when he sees you sniffle, desperately blinking away the tears that threaten to spill as you check your hand.

no blood. just a lot of pain.

“i’m so sorry,” he’s hovering over you within a second, nervous arms fluttering just above your frame— because he hasn’t quite figured out what to do, and you look so fragile like this. he just doesn’t want to break you.

“..are you okay?” he breaks the silence, “let me see you.”

your face is buried in your hands when ume kneels in front of you, hands coming to gently tug at your wrists so you can look at him. “i’m sorry,” he repeats even quieter, worry flooding his expression when you tear your gaze away from him.

it’s your attempt at trying to get rid of the tears threatening to spill, but he doesn’t know know that. his lips are tugging into a deep frown, eyes filled with worry as he tries to get you to just look at him again.

“look at me, okay?” he whispers, “let me see.”

a deep inhale, and you’re trying to make your voice come out steady again. “i think..i think it’s okay.”

your eyebrows furrow. “you klutz…”

the relief in his face is almost too obvious. he’s taking a sharp inhale, opening his arms to urge you to come for a hug. “i know,” he chuckles, “are you sure? you’re okay?”

you give ume a nod, ignoring the throbbing in your nose as your arms wrap around him, holding him close against you. “i think i’ll be okay if you delete that.”

“no way,” he retorts, relieved that you're at least not crying anymore. "but i'll give you cuddles. deal?"

he's pulling you tighter against him before you even give him your answer, and his shoulders relax a bit when you finally nestle into his arms, leaning into his hold with a soft smile and a throbbing nose.

[peachdues]

GASOLINE ON FIRE

COMPASS ONE-SHOT • bad boy!Sanemi x Reader

A/N: a one-shot from my bad boy!Sanemi gang AU fic, Compass featuring Sanemi and Reader’s first kiss. It technically happened off-page in the first Chapter, so I thought I’d share it with you all now because I’m such a sap for these two.

CW: 1.7k • MDNI • mentions of explicit sexual content • mentions of masturbation • Sanemi’s been thinking about Reader in fun ways • first kiss • fluff/light angst

READ COMPASS HERE

You’re both seated on your floor, pizza box sitting in front of you, half-empty, alongside a couple of empty, discarded beer bottles.

“I’ve never had sex,” you blurt, prompting Sanemi to choke on his gulp of beer.

“What?”

You pause in bringing your own bottle to your lips to glare at him. “You don’t have to be rude about it.”

“I’m not,” Sanemi wipes his lips. “Who gives a shit about that — I mean, where did that come from?”

You take a long, pointed sip of your beer before setting it back down, drawing your knees up to your chest. “I don’t know,” you shrug. “Isn’t it weird that I haven’t? We’re both twenty-one — but I’ve never even had a serious relationship, much less had sex.”

That surprises him. He’d thought about your days in school more than he’d be willing to admit ever since he chose your bookstore to hide in all those months ago. He’s devoted countless hours to wracking his brain, trying to recall every minute detail about you, in a concerted effort to figure out why the fuck he didn’t approach you sooner.

But he’d found that he couldn’t quite recall, and maybe that’s because he never had an excuse.

Still, you seem like you should have had at least the opportunity for love. After all, Sanemi can’t imagine someone worthier of it.

You’re staring at him, now, expectant, and Sanemi distracts himself by reaching for his own beer bottle to inspect it. “’S not weird,” he says after a moment. “You’re young. You’ve barely been out in the world.”

“But you‘ve done it,” you push, taking another swig of your drink.

Sanemi nods with a chuckle, setting his now-empty bottle down. “Yeah, yeah I have.”

You refuse to meet his eyes as you mumble, “And you like doing it.”

“Is that what the rumors say?” He asks drily, concealing his faint grimace by reaching for another beer.

“I don’t care about the rumors. I’m trying to make a point, here,” you scowl, finally lifting your gaze back to him. “I want to do it. I don’t want to be a virgin anymore.”

He glances at you from the corner of his eye. “Noted.”

“I want you to fix it.”

His hand halts midair before it can reach the last unopened bottle, and he turns to stare dumbly at you.

You must be joking — or you’re drunk. In either event, there’s no fucking way you’re serious.

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it — extensively, for that matter. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it just as badly as you seem to — arguably, even more so, given that he can’t stop thinking about it.

He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that he thinks of you that way often — so much so that he hasn’t been able to get laid in at least two months, because he couldn’t stop picturing you when he was with his designated fling of the evening.

Hell, he’d only been able to get off that last time because he stopped fighting the images in his head. Ones that involved that flirty sundress you loved wearing pulled down to expose your breasts, bouncing as you rode him, or the blush on your cheeks he imagined would form when he settled between your thighs, mouth lowering to steal a taste of what he could only assume was paradise.

Since then, the only thing Sanemi has been fucking is his own hand. And damn, if those little images of you didn’t keep sneaking into his subconscious. And though he always managed to cum fast and hard whenever those fantasies bled into his mind, Sanemi also was left to feel nothing but shame afterward as he wiped his hand and abdomen clean, guilt hanging heavily over his head for thinking of you in such a way.

For daring to think you might want him at all.

But now, here you were, looking at him with all the hopeful expectancy in the world. As though he has anything worth offering you.

Sure, Sanemi knew you were likely asking him to do it for practicality’s sake. You were a virgin and you wanted not to be anymore. And he was there, your only friend, and he was someone known for being rather unrestrained when it came to matters of the bedroom (or, anywhere that offered semi-privacy, for that matter).

He was a convenience; nothing more.

Did that stop him from considering it? Of course not. He was yours to use as much as you wanted, as far as he was concerned. But he’d assumed his usefulness stopped at being an ear to listen to; a companion — not because of anything you did, but because Sanemi had never felt like he held much value outside of what he could do for others.

And really, being used for this purpose — by you, no less — wasn’t too bad of an idea, all things considered.

But he can’t; he won’t. Part of him wants you to save that piece of yourself for someone who deserves it; deserves you. And that sure as shit isn’t him.

Part of him is also acutely aware that you’re tipsy and thus, the boundaries of your consent are blurry, and Sanemi would rather eat and shit glass than dilute them further.

But another part of him hesitates because he knows that if he does give in — gives you what you both want — that he’ll only further distort what remains of the lines he’s drawn in the sand. Lines, he sternly reminds himself, that are not just his means of protecting you, but rules that he is bound to obey as an extension of the Corps.

Don’t get attached.

And yet, he can’t help but wonder; can’t stop his traitorous heart from swelling, or his mind from running with the faint possibility of what life might be like if he just said yes.

What would it be like to be close to you? To hold you, kiss you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear he’d never told anyone else, but had secretly always longed to share? Would you moan or sigh his name? And if he was graced with the chance to see you fall apart — how would you look? Would you cry out, or would your mouth fall open in a silent o, your pleasure so intense that it stole the very breath from your lungs?

Never mind wanting and being wanted in return — what would it be like to have?

You rest your chin on your arms, eyes fixed on him, waiting, and Sanemi feels himself nearly break right there.

It’s nearly impossible to turn you down in a way that won’t hurt your feelings, but he has to. He has no choice.

He never has.

“Sorry, Princess. Don’t think that’s the best idea.” He reaches over to flick your nose before adding, “Plus, you’re a bit too tipsy.”

He hopes that his disappointment isn’t too evident on his face as he watches you; hopes that you cannot see the way his heart cracks under his own self restraint.

Thankfully, you drop your head onto your arms with a groan, concealing your face in your alcohol-tinged shame.

To his dismay, your obvious letdown punches at that soft part of his heart he’s reserved for you. His mouth goes dry. The idea blooms in his head and he’s acting before he can stop himself.

Just a taste. He swears. Just a taste. A little indulgence, so you know his reticence has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that he isn’t worth it.

“Hey.”

You roll your head to the side to peer shyly at him, a pretty blush still staining your cheeks.

“Come here.”

You lift your head from your arms then, cocking it in a question that Sanemi decides to answer by crooking his fingers under your chin and leaning in.

The kiss he shares with you is soft; measured. Your lips feel like silk against his, and it strikes him that never before has he kissed anyone with so much tenderness. The few kisses he exchanged with his flavors of the night were always sharp, bruising clashes of lips and teeth, each party more focused on sating their own needs rather than tending to that of the other.

Then again, Sanemi never felt this way toward those serving as his temporary distractions. He never thought of them as something precious; something to be adored, the way he does you.

You don’t move your arms from where they’re folded atop your knees, and for that, Sanemi is grateful. He knows that were you to move your hands to cup his face or even tangle in his hair, he would lose whatever thread of self control he possessed when it came to you.

So, Sanemi continues to kiss you slowly; indulgently. He never lets himself deepen it, never lets his tongue flick out along the seam of your lips in an effort to part them. He simply moves his lips with yours for a moment longer before he finally pulls away, though his fingers linger under your chin.

Only centimeters separate your mouth from his, and Sanemi can feel the sweet warmth of your breath as he whispers, “We should pick out a movie.”

You nod after a moment, still too stooped in the haze of his closeness to you. Reluctantly, Sanemi shifts away, his hand dropping from your chin. You don’t see how he flexes it over and over when you turn away to fidget with your remote, Sanemi unable to shake off the memory of your skin under his fingertips.

He watches the movie without really seeing it; his mind is far too preoccupied with replaying your kiss, over and over on a constant, never-ending loop.

He’d hoped that the small kiss would smother some of the fire that has been steadily consuming him over the last few months. A temporary respite to the near constant pang of longing he felt in his chest every time he looked at you.

What a stupid fucking idea that had been.

Because, as Sanemi sits beside you, limbs rigid under the incessant buzz thrumming in his veins, urging him to reach over and lay you back against the rug and make you his, he realizes your kiss was only a gallon of gasoline dumped directly over his fire.

And, judging by the way you keep your eyes fixed resolutely on the screen before you despite the persistent heat in your cheeks, Sanemi thinks you might be just as hungry for him as he is for you.

Oh, he’s fucked.

likes/reblogs/comments always appreciated!

[staarri]

an evening with @ staarri

c. various haikyuu characters

t. imagine this with your favorite artist or who you think they would like, fluff, gn!reader & male characters only. wc : ?

he enjoys the concert to the fullest with you. he knows every lyric, every song, every speech, and little thing the artist says. has been or is still a diehard fan—and he is very vocal about it too. likes to sing along, if not, scream along the songs. the type of person you’d hear screeching in “unhinged fan” recordings of that artist. though he doesn’t do it that often (thankfully), and only puts on that act when they play a song he especially likes. he likes to get ready with you and suggest having matching outfits, whether it be a reference to a lyric, a song, or something the artist has worn before.

(bonus. if this is a taylor swift concert, he already has a hoard of bracelets to give for you to trade them incase you run out.)

🏐 — nishinoya, tanaka, bokuto, hinata

he’s more lowkey about it. knows the songs & the lyrics, but is mostly there to see you all happy & smiling because he got you barricade tickets to get as close to the performers as possible. he’s your social media manager, takes candid photos and videos of you enjoying the concert and the artist so you have memories to look back on. he’s not that quiet that it seemed like you dragged him along—don’t get him wrong, he likes being there. he’s just not the type to scream the lyrics like other people. if he knows you’ll enjoy the concert, he makes sure to get two tickets for different dates: the opening and the closing for that city. who knows? maybe you’ll even find yourself backstage getting your merch signed by the artist. you have no idea how your boyfriend knows about this though.

🏐 — akaashi, tsukishima, kageyama, oikawa, kuroo, sugawara, yamaguchi

you had to drag him along the concert because your friend couldn’t go. instead of reselling it, you took this as an opportunity to introduce the artist to your boyfriend with a very limited taste in music. its 50/50, either he’ll enjoy it and add some of the tracks to his playlist or he will stay silent on the ride home. this doesn’t mean he wont support you! he’s taking pictures for sure, just more you and less of the artist performing.

🏐 — kenma, iwaizumi, daichi, asahi

[silken-moonlight]

The Elegance Series Part 9: Older Alpha x Human Waitress

A/N: Hi there! Today hasn't been a great day for me, as I wrote before. I was at the doctor's office today and am now on heart meds. I have to see how everything will go from here. Though I still want to post regularly. Love you all and everyone who wished me well. Enjoy the new chapter! 💗💗💗

Your Pov

You went home feeling giddy and happy. Though it quickly faded when you stepped into your home. A sense of dread filled you, afraid that something might have happened while you were gone. Gladly, today this wasn't the case. Your parents had gone to bed, and Pumpkin and Spice slept peacefully in the living room. A soft smile tugged at your lips as you silently slid up the stairs to the second story. After a hot shower, which helped you sober up, you went to bed. For a moment, you scrolled on your phone, checking your social media and emails. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

However, you suddenly remembered that Desmond didn't have your number...but you had his. A warm feeling crept into your chest when you thought about the older man. He had an aura of security and calm...He was magnetic, something always pulled you back to him. You took out the card he gave you so many days ago and typed it into your phone. Quickly saving it under: Desmond (Alpha).

Before you could overthink it, you wrote him a quick text:

Y/N:Hi Desmond, it's Y/N. I wanted to save your number and give you a call at the same time.

Desmond: That is wonderful; thank you so much for texting me. It made my sweet night even sweeter.

You blushed behind you phone and chuckled.

Y/N: Thank you so much. I am looking forward to our date tomorrow.

Desmond: Me too. I would like to invite you for lunch together.

Y/N: I adore that idea! When do you want to meet up?

Desmond: As soon as you could

Desmond: I mean as soon as you are available

Y/N: How about 1 pm?

Desmond: Perfect, I'll pick you up at your house.

Y/N: Until then!

Desmond: Until then, darling.

Your heart beat faster when you put your phone away, anticipating the date you would have. Now that you knew Desmond was always visiting "Sailor Boy," you were so giddy and excited. You really liked him. You wanted this to be something nice...Though you knew how it would end. At first, the people are always so understanding of your situation. They have no problem at first with your always having to be ready to leave a date or that you can't go on vacation and shut off your phone. They understand that partying is off the table for you and that you don't want to go to clubs.

You were happy with your life; you were okay with taking care of your parents. Sadly, others were not, telling you that one day you would regret not spending your youth wildly. It was frustrating trying to tell people that you didn't miss anything. Your mind told you that things with Desmond wouldn't be different. As soon as he knew he had to share you, he would lose interest. Also, you were overly aware of how he had his own responsibilities. He lived in an entirely different world than you, one where you wouldn't fit. You would enjoy his attention for the time that he was here.

- The next Day -

You spend the entire morning getting ready, bathing, and doing so much self-care. Your last date had been ages ago, and you were so happy to have the opportunity to make yourself look pretty.

Your parents were happy for you too, encouraging you. They even took the dogs out for a walk so that you had the house to yourself for a little while.

Now, you were standing in front of the mirror, looking at yourself. The dress you chose was elegant: a blue that complimented your skin, with white embroidery of stars at the hem of the skirt. The sleeves were bell sleeves, and the neckline was a beautiful V. You chose those white pumps that you almost never wore and applied soft makeup. Perfume and deodorant finished the look.

You were ready, looking elegant yet casual. Your heart was beating so fast, excitement surging through your entire body.

Desmond: Good Morning Beautiful, I am at you parents house and will wait for you

You looked at the clock. 12:45 a.m. He was early. A smile tugged at your lips; somebody was clearly eager. It flattered you.

Quickly, you said goodbye to your parents and dogs as you walked out of the front door.

A large, black SUV stood there, Desmond leaning casually against it. When he spotted you, a smile adorned his face. The alpha looked sinfully handsome. His beard was freshly trimmed, his hair loose, and he wore dress pants and a dress shirt with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. "You look stunning, darling," Desmond greeted you, looking you up and down.

"All that for me?" He asked and smiled a little more. Feeling bold, you stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek. "All for you." You felt proud when you saw the slight flush on his cheeks. The Alpha smelled amazing; his cologne smelled rich and deep—wood, leather, and tobacco.

"Shall we?" His voice was smooth, and you nodded. He opened the door for you, and you slipped into the passenger's seat. "Thank you," you said and smiled at him. He closed the door and walked around to the other side.

"No need to thank me. Did you sleep well?" He asked and began to drive. "I did, how about you? Your way home was definitely longer than mine." He smiled. "Oh, I slept quite well, knowing that I would see you again today." You chuckled. "Such a charmer, though I must admit I was excited to see you again." His smile widened. "I love hearing that. Also, I thought I might take you to the orangery that they made into that exclusive restaurant. It's beautiful there—if you believe their website." You nodded. You had heard of that before. "Oh, I always wanted to go there," you said honestly. "I've actually been to the manor it belongs to a couple of times. Some of my acquaintances got married there." Desmond listened to you. "The local pack thought of buying the land and manor when it had some money problems. Though since they have the restaurant, those have vanished, and it runs really well." You nodded. You had heard something similar—minus the mention of the local pack.

Suddenly, Desmond's phone rang and connected to the car. Desmond sighed, annoyed. "I have to take that call. It's my beta, Isaac."

"I don't mind," you said with a smile.

Desmond pressed a Button and said:"Behave Isaac, I have a Lady with me." The alpha greeted the beta. There was an immediate laugh on the other end:"Did you finally have the balls to ask the cute waitress out?" You blushed extremly and looked over to Desmond who looked like he'd die of embaressment. "Isaac I swear..." There was just laughing on the other and:"Yeah Yeah. Also Hi to the waitress, I don't know your name yet. I'm Isaac, his beta." You looked at Desmond who nodded, so you answered:"Hello Isaac, I'm Y/N. Desmond has told me about you before." You could hear the beta chuckling:"Awwww, thats really sweet of you Des. Telling you mate about me."

"Isaac!" Desmond thundered. "Is there any other reason you called me?" he said, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

You just wondered what Isaac meant by 'mate'. You had never heard that Word in this context before.

Taglist: @the-witches-creatures @blushycadaver @strawberrypoundtown @blackbirdwitch22 @my-anime-garden

Divider Credit: @thecutestgrotto

[kittenintheden]

Smut Writing Tips

I could go on for 600 years on this so I cut myself off at seven basic tips for improving your smut writing. I don't know how to name this something that isn't suggestive so fuck it we ride at dawn etc. If you're having trouble writing smut/improving your smut writing, here are a few things that might help? I'm not the ultimate authority, do whatever you want, take what serves you and leave the rest, etc.

1) Get in touch with what turns you on. You can take this literally or figuratively. You don't have to be sexually active or even sexually aroused to write smut! It's not required. But you should know what gets you going, you know? Because whatever you're into, there are other people out there who are into it, too. Writing the things you're passionate about translates to the page. If you're disconnected from what you're writing, it's going to read that way.

2) Practice by translating a personal fantasy to text. THIS IS FOR YOU ONLY. Unless you like it enough to share? But this is an exercise to get you past the initial discomfort and embarrassment of writing sexy scenes. Many of us have romantic or sexual fantasies, even those on the ace/aro spectrum. When they live in our head, they feel safe. When we put them to the page, they suddenly EXIST in a space where someone else can theoretically perceive them. Getting comfortable with that takes a little bit of work/practice.

3) Try writing from the POV of the subject of the reader's desire. When I smut, I write from my OC's POV sometimes, but more often... I write from Astarion's. That's intentional. It's hot to feel DESIRED, to feel WANTED. Being in the subject's head means that the reader is experiencing that desire for themselves. There's power and sexiness in knowing you're making someone feel that way.

4) Physical description and positioning is great, but how do they FEEL? If you've ever heard the term "male gaze," you know it's frequently applied to visual media, especially where the subjects are treated as objects to be observed rather than people with interior thought and feeling. Smut WRITING gives us the opportunity to both describe the actions taking place and also the internal responses of the characters. It's not just what goes where, it's how that makes the body feel, the mind, the heart. It deepens the scene. Not everything needs to be "making love," but the tension and character interaction are still vital.

5) Realism is a fine base but it's not required. Look, there are a lot of smut tropes out there that are not REMOTELY based on reality and we love them anyway because a big part of this style of writing is the FANTASY of the thing. Like, yes, it's going to take some readers out if you're describing a position that's not physically possible. That's something that should be workshopped. But like. People come here for sex pollen and knotting. It's okay to be a little weird. Just consider the fantasy logistics.

6) Sometimes a little humor or awkwardness adds to the experience. Not everything has to be peak romance of the highest order, you know? Sex is messy and weird. If the participants can be a bit messy and weird together, it's both character-building and endearing. Don't be afraid to be like, oh this resulted in fluids and now we have to take care of that.

7) The tension is as important as the cumshot. Yeah I said that. An important piece of writing burning-hot smut is properly building tension. You can do that in a few words or many words. The ANTICIPATION, the WANTING, the not-quite-there-but-god-I-wanna-be of it all. It makes the release that much sweeter.

[lasirenatarot]

What you need to hear right now.

/general messages, timeless/

🌟PAC READING🌟

Pick a perfume:

NOTE: some messages are quite specific, but might help someone who needs to hear them❤️ so keep that in mind, not everything will resonate for all, it is a general reading after all.

Pile 1:

Poison girl.

Cards that fell; 3 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, 4 of wands reversed. Gift, pleasure seekers cards from an oracle deck.

- I think you might loose a sum of money or you recently have lost some, another case may be that your financial situation might have not been the best recently and you kind of felt helpless? (Idk why im getting that). However, your financial situation has a huge potential for improvement as you may get a present (either an item or a sum of money from someone) which may ease your financial worries. This present may even help you enjoy your life more as you will not have the « weight » of worrying about the near future and how you’re gonna make ends meet.

- Another possible scenario instead of getting a gift may be getting a higher salary than anticipated which can help you make up for the recent times of struggle.

- be focused on whatever you are working on ( studies, job, sports etc.. ) DO NOT loose your focus, this may make you miss a big opportunity if you are not consistent. AND the opposite: if you continue on working, being consistent and putting in the effort you may receive better things/opportunities than you have even imagined. It all depends on you.

- for those who have recently met or have started having hopes of starting a relationship with a romantic interest: this person may not have the intetions of being in a serious relationship with you at this point of time. Be careful and seek your OWN best interest, not theirs.

Pile 2:

Baccarat rouge.

Cards: 10wands, 8wands, 5 wands reversed, judgement reversed.

- Sadly for this pile we are starting a bit negatively; you may have recently experienced a burnout or you are quite overworked due to having too much different stuff to do and take care of. What you need to know at this moment is that not everything is your responsibility: people’s actions, their poor life choices or how they live their life. You might be a person who (not exactly likes, but more of feels the need to help others at the expense of your own mental well being/emotions/mood even. You may simply just be used of being the “problem solver” & emotional trashbin for others) likes helping others, always be there for them and listen when they have struggles, but what you may not see is that by always being there for others u may create in them what I’ve read psychologists call “learned incompetence”. Basically by doing a task for someone (that was not yours to begin with) and letting them vent nonstop u’ve made them incompetent to deal with their own issues bc they may think you will always be there to fix it for them. Main message for this pile; prioritise yourself even if this means cutting ppl off because they drain you emotionally, not every person deserves explanation for how you decide to react to their behavior. Don’t be part of confrontations.

Extra message: beware of people who try to play “saints” in your life, such who have victim complex and always have a problem with everyone.

Everyone gets what they deserve in the end.

- After a tough emotional period your situation may quickly turn to positive and joyful. You may meet new friends.

Good luck🙏🏻

Pile 3:

Lost cherry.

- Very soon you might receive news you’ve been waiting for a long time. May be in a form of email/letter or a friend telling you. You may have felt like you’ve “lost yourself” a bit recently and after receiving these news you will definitely feel more at peace. Some may have been thru a breakup recently, you may finally start feeling better and more like yourself.

- you may meet a potential love interest soon or if you already have someone concrete in mind you communicate with (don’t be delulu having random crushes) you may actually begin a romantic relationship with them ( the energy I get is quite positive).

- you may need to follow “tradition” or already tried methods or consulting with a wise person if you need help with someting. (Or simply a tip)

Pile 4:

Hypnotic poison.

- You may reunite with an old friend soon. (Im particularly getting one you may know from school, but may not applicable for all)

- You may end or will end soon a chapter of your life in order to make space for better things to come.

- You may find understanding/help from someone you have not expected, while at the same time be dissapointed of someone you had trust in and expected to be there for you.

- No matter the circumstances try not to be too cocky and egoistical. You may currently be very motivated for success and have recently gained a lot of confidence due to something in your life. Keep yourself grounded and do not forget where you come from.

That was all from today’s PAC. I apologise for not including the name of the cards which fell for all the piles but I accidentally put them back in the deck and forgot to write them lol..Hope you enjoyed it tho!!

Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.

Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.

- La Sirena💋

[gaymurdersalad]

Jack! You should try talking it out with Dave. Tell him how you feel, how from your perspective how tiring and agonising this whole situation is.

Dave cares about you a lot. I'm sure he'll understand you.

> Fuck you! Quit giving me those puppy dog eyes! It’s not gonna work this time, no, you’re not gonna ruin my life and waltz back in like we’re still friends. I only liked you when I hated myself. Get it through that fucking lobotomized skull, you purple leech.

> … Do you even realize what you’re sayin’ to me, Sportsy?

> I know exactly what I’m saying! You deaf too, you bastard?

> I didn’t ask for your help! Y’know, Sportsy, I coulda been perfectly fine rotting in that alleyway! You didn’t HAVE to drag me back to your home just to fuckin’ chew me out you goddamn hypocrite! What the fuck is wrong with you?!

> It was a moment of weakness. Never in my right mind would I ever let you back in here!

> Sportsy, I know that ain’t really what you think, so can you stop bein’ so goddamn difficult and just tell me what the hell is pissin’ you off today?

> Today? Today?! You’ve been making my life fucking miserable since the moment I met you! You saw I was struggling, you noticed that I hated the company, and instead of leaving me well enough alone, you took advantage of me and made me do your fucking dirty work! I was prepared to do good, I was prepared to save whatever kid was stupid enough to let your cryptid ass lure them into the backroom, but god, when offered with the opportunity to burn it all down, I took it! I couldn’t have met a worse person, someone who fed into that fucking hate and malice and made me worse!

> You’re— You’re blaming me? Sportsy, You’re grown! You are a grown man, you made your own goddamn decision! How are you being so childish right now?! Stop tryin’ to escape the parts you don’t like about yourself, just deal with ‘em like every other adult!

> Deal with it?

> I killed children! Little kids!

> And that’s somehow my fault?

> If you’d have never been there, I never would have done it.

> But you did, you stupid motherfucker, you did! So grow up!

> If you weren’t so fucking obsessed with the legacy of a man that doesn’t even love you, I would never be here! I’d still be living my shitty existence with my shitty family in a shitty house that I couldn’t afford in a shitty world with a shitty job! Your bullfuckery cost me a life, it costed dozens of kids their futures, it destroyed families! Telling me to grow up?? You can only do whatever the fuck your daddy tells you to do!

> Do you know what the hell this means to me? Do you even understand why I’m doin’ this at all? It’s ‘cause I trust him, Sportsy, I trust him with my life ‘cause he’s saved it over and over again! You don’t know what’s happened to me, you don’t know what the hell I’ve seen, what Henry’s dragged me out of! You’ll never fuckin’ understand what he means to me!

> You’re right. I don’t know. Although what I do know, as any other sane, rational person would, is that whatever he’s done for you, it does not justify snuffing out the lives of little kids as some twisted form of gratitude.

> You’re bein’ really unfair!

> Unfair?? I didn’t realize murder was unfair! Okay, you should have every right to take someone else’s life! It’s only fair! It’s only right ‘cause it’s Henry!

> You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you ain’t never had a dad, you don’t know what the fuck I’d lose if I didn’t satisfy him!

> …

> Yeah, turns out I ain’t brain dead, you soulless bastard. I remember everything you’ve ever told me. Everything you spilled outta those rotten guts in Vegas. You wanna know why, you sick fuck? ‘Cause I liked you. I liked how you treated me, like a person. Lookin’ at me wit’ them doe eyes, so fuckin’ receptive and so goddamn… affectionate.

> Look, Sportsy, I know you whether you want me to or not. I know you don’t hate me, I know you never did. I don’t hate you neither. It’s not a question of if you’re ashamed of what you’ve done or whether it’s my fault or not— you like me. You are so fuckin’ violated to know that I can see through you. Sometimes that’s what I like about you, but right now it’s pissin’ me off. Lay down the goddamn charades and tell me what you want without usin’ any of that goddamn language you were dishin’ out earlier.

> Stop living for Henry.

> …

> Stop making it impossible for me to like you.

> … I can be close with Henry and still be your friend, Sportsy—

> No, you can’t! My entire reason for existence is to right Henry’s wrongs! My best friend cannot be his fucking protégé! Dave, you don’t understand what this is doing to me! I want you more than I want to do good in the world! Do you realize how sincerely fucked up that is?!

> … You’re not the only one who feels this way, Sportsy. This is puttin’ me in a uncomfortable position too. You’re askin’ me for a lot.

> I didn’t realize not murdering anyone required serious introspection.

> Gah, it’s not just about the murder, get over it! That’s all you ever wanna fuckin’ talk about! The very fuckin’ notion that I should lay all my loyalties down for the likes of you is downright insulting— the one who abandoned me after givin’ me a taste of humanity! Yer a joke and a conman and I cannot fuckin’ stand you!

> Yet I care about what you think of me, which is the wildest part of it all! I want you to like me again, but as you’ve so clearly forced down my throat, you won’t do it again unless I betray my own father! Unless I submit to YOUR goddamn ideology! Is it just that you’re usin’ me? Do you just want another pair of hands just like I asked for yours all those years ago? Trynna worm your way into a heartless vessel, are ya? All I got left is my brain, Sportsy, and you and that pink fuck are rippin’ it apart at the seams! Gah!

> You ain’t blameless yourself, anyhow! What, you had one good trip on ether and decided you were a saint? You’ve killed same as me, don’t you dare try and look down on me like you’re any better! So easily persuaded to kill, so easily persuaded to spare— can you ever make up your goddamn mind, or are you just gonna let people boss you around your entire afterlife? Yer like a fuckin’ sheep, like goddamn livestock for people that wanna use you! Turns out we ain’t so different after all, huh?!

> GOD, YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING PLAGUE!

> I WISH I NEVER TOLD YOU TO SKIP WORK! I WISH I MAIMED YOU IN THAT SPRINGLOCK SUIT, I WISH EVERY RIGGED PIECE IN THAT FUCKIN’ THING WRANG THE LIFE OUTTA YOU OUT FOR GOOD! GOD, I WISH YOU WERE FUCKIN’ DEAD!

> … You… You wish you what…?

> …!

[daistea]

Alright so to answer your question, the reader is around their age but maybe slightly older than his brother, and would always reject Mithrun's advances because they think it's inappropriate

You said headcanons in the original request, I hope it’s okay that I added some writing as well! 

The name I give his brother is Arendil, totally stolen from another series with elves and kind of a cliche name, but it’s stuck with me and personally it would feel weird calling him anything else because that’s what I’m used to. 

This is a little more angsty than I expected it to be, tbh :/ Sorry if you don't like angst, I kinda just can't help but pick apart pre-dungeon Mithrun like this.

2700 words

No tw

Pre-Dungeon Mithrun x gn Reader 

●・○・●・○・●

Mithrun was probably a very good boy growing up. He tried so hard, he wanted everybody to like him, and he was a hardcore people pleaser. 

However, once he finds out that he’s the one born out of infidelity, the resentment starts to sink in. I like to think this happens when he’s in his early teens, when he actually takes a look at his family and starts to realize that he’s not truly the favorite. 

His parents treat him like he’s the favorite, and in a way they do prefer him over his brother, but in the end they’re always going to choose his brother because he’s the rightful heir and the oldest, and I think Elven culture would prioritize that more than personality. 

That probably becomes clear to Mithrun early on, just through little things. His sense of worth starts to crumble and he desperately grasps at any opportunity to be the one people prefer, which eventually turns him into the fake-nice, outwardly charming, judgmental, distrustful, bitter boy we know. 

Onto you. As a caretaker and important aspect of Mithrun’s life, he would crave your approval. I don’t think he’d be outwardly mean to servants and helpers, because despite their lower stations he would want them all to like him and think well of him. Since you’re especially close to him and Arendil, he would crave your attention even more. 

As you both get older, though, he starts noticing more about you…

I headcanon that Mithrun was pretty flirty at this point in life. He won’t open up or be vulnerable for anybody, but he will try to charm his way into your heart just to fulfill his own desire to be wanted.

Except… You don’t seem to want him. 

He first notices your rejection of his advances a year or two before he’s sent to join the Canaries.

You felt Mithrun’s eyes on your form. They were steady, intense, and held implications that you weren’t quite ready to acknowledge. You tried your best to ignore the feeling, but the hairs on the back of your neck still stood to attention, and your heart still clenched. 

Resisting the urge to comment on the situation grew more difficult the longer time passed. “Mithrun,” you sighed, “can I help you with something?”

He raised his brows and smiled pleasantly. His head was tilted, his fingers pressed into his cheekbone as he leaned against the table beside his chair. “Yes, actually, you can.”

You wanted to groan. Having basically grown up with Mithrun and his brother, you had the pass to be a little snarky with the boys. Yet the look in his eyes told you that now wasn’t the time. He would grab onto your sarcasm and use it like a rope to pull you forward, into him, into the trap he set. Mithrun’s games had only gotten more subtle with age. 

“I can’t imagine with what,” you said, keeping your voice level and disinterested, “the laundry is done, the manor is clean, and you’ve already eaten.”

Mithrun remained pleasantly unphased, “Do you really think that’s all I would need you for?”

“I don’t. However, there’s no other service I’m willing to offer.”

That was enough to break his demeanor, to shatter the glass he hid behind. His smile faltered for half a second and his shoulders tensed. “We’re friends, please don’t talk as if a caretaker is all you are.”

You knew that. Yet, at the moment, you were just a caretaker. You refused to be more to him— not out of dislike or a lack of attraction to the youngest Kerensil brother, but more because you were professional. It would be inappropriate to let yourself feel anything beyond what was platonic. 

He watched as you shifted uncomfortably. His brows furrowed, and you finally met his unyielding gaze. “We are friends, you’re right,” you said. 

Mithrun finally looked away. Relief flooded your chest as he chose to instead stare at the wall in thought. “I’ve known you all my life. You’ve never treated me lesser because of my biological father, or because I’m younger, or because I’m not the heir. You’ve always seen me and Arendil… equally.” Mithrun said the word ‘equally’ as if it was a bad thing. He only let his scowl last for half a second before he schooled his expression and continued, “You know I appreciate you, right?”

For once, he seemed genuine. You felt yourself melt a little. “I know.”

“You know, I…”

A pause for dramatic effect, of course, letting the anticipation rise so you would be appropriately charmed by his next words. You put up a hand to stop him, “I know you're just trying to get me to like you more than Arendil."

Mithrun’s eyes widened, “That’s not it.”

That was definitely it. 

“I know you. I know how you are,” you said as you turned around to continue folding laundry, an excuse to keep your nervous hands busy. 

Another pause followed your words. Then, “...You know me?”

You nodded. 

Mithrun allowed himself to frown. It was flattering, in a way, that he would let his true emotions show in front of you. 

He looked at you differently, then. There was no more charm in his stare, no more sparks of attraction. As you met his eyes, they widened slightly. His smile shook and his brows furrowed to create a little crease on his forehead. 

You realized it, then, that Mithrun was unnerved. 

Of course he was unnerved, he’d just realized you could see right through him. 

“Sorry,” you couldn’t help but apologize, though you knew you’d done nothing wrong, “I probably went too far with that comment.”

A beat of silence passed. Your hands lingered on the shirt you were folding, while Mithrun’s hands tightened as he crossed his arms over his chest, closing you off. 

Still, he seemed to prepare himself for the sliver of vulnerability that he was willing to offer. “Sometimes, I feel like you’re the only one who actually knows me.”

You had to resist the urge to say ‘well, who’s fault is that?’ 

Instead, you nodded, “Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Truly?”

“Truly,” you echoed. 

Mithrun leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath. His chest rose and fell and he closed his eyes. A silver curl fell into his face as he tilted his head into his hand. He was letting the words sink in, the implication take root. 

All you could do was wonder what might come of this.

Mithrun falls in love slowly. He does not enjoy it. 

He goes through four of the seven stages of grief. 

Shock and denial: ‘I don’t see them in that way, their smile is just pretty and my heart only skips when they look at me because we’re friends.’

Pain and guilt: ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way about them, they're my caretaker...’

Anger and bargaining: ‘Maybe if they weren’t so considerate and wonderful then I wouldn’t be feeling this way. How annoying. Perhaps I can convince them to choose me in the end, or at least get their attention on me.’ 

Depression: ‘They will never love me the way I love them…’

This elf is suffering. Nobody knows that, though, because he’s an expert at hiding it. 

But in the end, Mithrun shrugs it all off and decides that he wants you. 

When he sees you giving his brother attention, Mithrun feels the deep urge to rip out his brother’s throat. Then he chides himself for being so violent, the blood would make stains on the floor and you’d be angry with him…

Still, you treat them both equally. It drives him up a wall. You obviously don’t prefer his brother over him in any way, but that’s not good enough for Mithrun. He wants all of you. He wants every ounce of your love and care, with absolutely nothing left for Arendil to take, like he does with everything else. (Mithrun has very little self-awareness of how warped his view is at this point.)

Part of his desire for you stems from the need to possess, his insecurity, his desire to be loved, to be the favorite. However, beneath all of that, there’s more. Mithrun also appreciates and admires you as a person. You’re one of the few people that he trusts and can be himself around. You encourage him to be a better person— he doesn’t take that encouragement, but it’s still a nice quality of yours. 

And you make him feel important. How could he not fall in love with you?

Yet, he doesn’t quite comprehend the complexities of genuine love.

 “I think you should know that I’m—”

You clamped your hand over his mouth. It was like a door shutting in his face, barring him from treading down a dangerous path. His eyes widened and he leaned back to get away from you, but you kept your hand where it was. 

The grass beneath your knees was soft. The shade from the tree you and Mithrun sat under was pleasant. And the topic of conversation was horrifying. 

“Don’t,” you told him, “I know what you’re going to say and…”

And what? The words ‘it’s inappropriate’ sat on your tongue, but was that truly the only reason you stopped him? It was a good excuse, certainly, but the tangled knot of your relationship with Mithrun wasn’t ready to be unraveled quite yet. 

When he gave you a look that provided a slight bit of reassurance, you let him go. You sat back, folding your hands on your knees and meeting his silver gaze. His head was tilted down a little as he stared at you. His brain was working overtime, most likely churning out a myriad of thoughts like those factory lines in Dwarven cities. There was anger, betrayal, hurt, resentment, fear. You accepted each flash of emotion like a prisoner accepts the crack of a whip— which was begrudgingly, but with no choice in the matter. 

“I love you,” Mithrun whispered, despite it all. 

“I know,” was the only response you could give him. 

Yet, he had his shovel ready, willing to dig up this grave. “Why?”

“Why am I not returning your feelings?” You asked, though you already knew that was what he was asking. With a sigh, you absently twirled a blade of grass around your index finger, then continued, “Because I care about you, I really do. And I don’t want to ruin us.”

His expression hardened, “How would this ruin us?”

You looked up to meet his eyes once more, “You only want me because you want to be loved, and I’m the best candidate for that. You don’t want me for me, you want me for you.”

“How could you possibly know that?” He seethed. 

“Because I know you,” you murmured, “I know you far too well.”

Mithrun is determined to understand what you mean. However, he doesn’t really have anybody to ask for advice on that particular matter. 

He isn’t one to settle unless necessary. But it’s starting to feel necessary, with how often you stop him from confessing, with how you avoid his touch, with how you won’t hold his gaze most of the time. 

Mithrun is going mad. 

He doesn't particularly care about the girl his brother likes, since his mind is on you, but it's offensive to him that his brother thinks he has a chance with such a cute and refined girl.

It does please Mithrun, though, that Arendil is not interested in you. That makes things easier and slightly calms his boiling blood. 

However, the fact that someone actually likes Arendil back drives him a bit mad too. 

You call him out on this, saying that he’s like a toddler who only wants a certain toy when another kid is playing with it. He chooses to ignore that comparison. 

He still very much has feelings for you. He does whatever you ask, though you never ask for anything, really. If you mention that you like a certain item, he’ll get it for you. If you mention that you want to see a certain play, he suddenly has two tickets to it. 

He is doing his best to court you and you know it, his parents know it, everybody knows it. 

You try to sway him away from doing these things. It’s not proper for him to act like that. He agrees, with his desire to keep a good reputation amongst the nobility and his peers. However, that doesn’t stop him from trying to win you over in secret. (Which doesn’t actually help his case much, because you can’t help but think ‘he’s ashamed of having feelings for a servant. wow.’)

At this point in life, Mithrun does genuinely like people and can be truly cheerful and kind. He’s a social butterfly and enjoys chatting. You allow these interactions, spending hours just talking with him. It’s so easy, it’s so comfortable. Those moments are when you’re closest to being pulled into his path; when his gravity threatens to steal you, a passing comet, and hold you hostage in his orbit.

And sometimes you wonder what it would be like to give in. 

Mithrun knows you wonder that, though, because he knows you just as well as you know him. And he uses that to his advantage, of course. 

He shamelessly flirts when you’re alone together. He’ll brush your hair out of your face and let the tips of his fingers gently caress the edges of your ear. And when you shiver despite your best attempts not to, he only smiles. He knows when he's winning.

He would whisper to you a lot. He likes people-watching and has a lot to say. He can be a total Regina George when he wants to. 

But really, he does like people, he just can’t help but be distrusting and judgmental. His entire self is a result of elven society mixed with subtle emotional neglect. 

Somehow, Mithrun has both an inferiority complex and a superiority complex. It just depends on the situation. 

He’s very jealous. And he gets clingy when he’s jealous, especially if you’re paying attention to his brother. He’ll swoop in, put his hand on your back, start flirting with you, etc. I headcanon that his brother is incredibly oblivious, but kind, and just thinks to himself ‘wow I’m so happy my little brother has found love : )’

You’re not together though. You slip away from his touch often. You ignore his flirting. You maintain your dignity and position. 

Except for when his family receives the letter about the Canaries recruitment. And they announce that they’re sending Mithrun. They give this speech about how he’s bringing honor to the House of Kerensil by fighting the evil that exists in this world… Mithrun knows it's a load of crap. His parents are sending him to his death. 

It’s the biggest proof that he’s not their favorite, that he’ll never be their favorite. No matter how much they talk up his charm and looks, he’s still the bastard son. He’s a trinket on their shelf, but if they need to make room they won’t hesitate to store him in a dusty box in the basement. 

And his brother gets to live; sweet and innocent and ignorant, undeserving of all that he gets. Mithrun hates the air he breathes. 

And when he’s about to leave for the Canaries, you finally admit it. You admit that you love him. And…

His bitterness only grows. If he wasn’t sent to the Canaries… If he was the first born, the heir, the one that was wanted…

In the dungeon, he sees how his brother gets the girl. The girl doesn’t matter, it’s what that image represents that angers him. It’s what his world looks like now; he’s a slave to the government sponsored death squad, and his brother is getting all he’s ever wanted. 

And then there’s you. You love him, but can you be together? No. 

With mirror shards on the floor and the soft clop of hooves, Mithrun's life changes entirely.

[squirmhoney]

INDEFINETLEY HIS | NAOYA ZEN'IN

Please read all warnings carefully, my fics cover dark topic matters, that may be upsetting to certain readers. Read at your own discretion. Warnings: Dark. Arranged/Forced marriage. Non con. Dub con. Abusive relationship. Forced pregnancy Spanking. Violence against reader. Misogynistic views. Degrading views. Submissive reader. 18+ A/N: The last part is finally here. I'm sorry to have you waiting but I hope you enjoy.

AS ALWAYS MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! MASTER LIST HERE

//

Naoya made you feel desired and completely cherished during and even into the first month after your pregnancy. He was sweet, peppering your skin in tender kisses in the morning and holding you close to him at night.

You honestly believed this was the life you had dreamt of all along. The first few months of your marriage somehow managed to become a distant memory. 

But Naoya was quick to remind you of his true self when you denied him access to you for the first time. You still felt his fingers as they pinned you down by the nape of your neck that night, holding you to the mattress so he could force himself into you. You still remember how it stung with each dry thrust of his cock in your walls, sobbing into the sheets at how brutal he was being. 

You also remembered how apologetic he was days later when you cowered away from him in the kitchen, covering your skin in feather light kisses till you were once again comfortable in his embrace. 

Honestly a part of you believed that would be the last of it. That he'd be done treating you like that. 

How Naive you had been. 

You were sure Naoya enjoyed being mean to you, some sick and twisted part of him got off at fighting against you. At times if there wasn't something to argue about, he seemed to find something as if he was seeking it out. 

All those months of submitting to his every whim seemed to be for nothing. Especially when you'd find yourself desperately trying to please him, only to be met with the rough touch of his back hand moments later. You walked on eggshells around him, never knowing which side of the man you married you'd be greeting at the door each day.

But after having your second son you had given up trying to constantly be on his good side. At least you knew if you gave him the satisfaction of defying a few times in the month, you could predict what was coming. 

In some ways you could almost make peace with it. 

//

Your son squealed with delight as you blew raspberries into his stomach. You were gleaming down at him, pulling him into your arms as your three year old tried to climb your back. 

“Minoru,” you laughed, trying to gently wriggle him off your back. “Be careful with your brother around.” 

Naoya couldn’t deny the tender feeling that settled in his stomach as his eyes watched over you three, taking a moment to appreciate you all before he interfered. 

“Minoru,” he warned, making himself known to you all. 

Naoya noticed the way you tensed at the sound of his voice, turning his way as you tried to muster a smile on his face. 

“Didn’t realise you’d be back so early,” you said, pulling yourself up from the floor. 

Minoru practically jumped into his father’s arms at the opportunity, 

“Mission was quick,” He stated, picking Minoru up into his arms. “I wanted to spend time with my family.” 

There was hesitation in you as you leaned closer to greet him, pressing your lips to his cheek. It wasn't a kiss, your lips barely grazed him and he could tell you didn't mean it. 

But he wasn't going to press you about it, not until later at least.

// 

You hadn't remembered how the argument had started this time. All that you knew was that after getting both of your sons to sleep you found yourself already on the losing side, barely able to make your case.

“It was a thought- I just mean-” you were struggling to get your words out, feeling the pressure of his cold stare on the back of your neck. You peered over your shoulders, glassy eyes holding his gaze. “I'm tired.” 

“No,” the word was harsh as it sat on his tongue, strung out as he shook his head. “Don't lie to me.” 

“I just want a break,” you told him, breath shaky. “We’ve had two children. But I just need a break, can't you understand that?” 

“This is the life you chose when you married me,” he spat at you, pushing himself up from the wall. “You know that.”

You pursed your lips, not even taking a second to think as you said, “I don't remember having much choice in the matter.”

You swallowed as his gaze darkened, turning away as he made his way towards you.

You moved to clean up the toys on the floor, hand reaching out but you were stopped as a hand wrapped itself around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. 

Naoya towered over you, nostrils flaring as he grabbed your chin. 

Before he could open his mouth to speak, your hand moves around to slap him, taking him by surprise as he lets you go. Even though it hadn't been the first time you hit him, you still didn't react quick enough, finding yourself on the floor before you knew it. 

“Get up,” he demanded, scowling down at you. “Don't make me ask twice.”  

Tears stung your eyes as you gazed up at him, taking your sweet time to get up off the floor. He knew exactly what you were doing as he watched you, his patience only wearing thin as his hands went down to pull you up. He gripped your hair with one hand, making you yelp in pain as he yanked you up. 

“I told you to get up,” he hissed into your ear. 

“Naoya,” you cried, clawing at his hand to drop you. 

But his hand only tightened, waiting for you to beg for release. 

“Please,” it came out choked and forced. “You’ll wake the boys.” 

He relented, finally, shoving you away from him. But you knew he wasn't really done with you, not when he stopped by the door, shutting it closed. 

His next moves were slow as he approached your trembling form. 

When his hand wrapped around your throat this time, you didn't flinch away or fight him off. Your hands only settled on top of his, in some sort of acceptance. 

“You're fucking despicable, you know that?” 

It was a rhetorical question but you answered anyway. 

“Yes,” you whispered in agreement, nodding. “I think I have to be in order to be your wife.”  

Naoya wasted no time tightening his hand around your throat. “Find yourself funny, hmm?” 

He was constricting your airflow in no time to the point you could only wheeze in response. 

“You love being so defiant,” he spat at you, resting his forehead against yours. “We’ll see how defiant you are in a second.” 

Naoya shoved you then, throwing you towards the wall behind you. His body was quick to follow yours, hands quickly twisting you around, your front being pressed up against the wall. While he had his body shoved up behind you, making you feel him through the material of his attire, every single bit. You were sure it made his erection twitch at the way your whole body tensed at the feel of it. 

You honestly weren’t sure sometimes which side of you he enjoyed he liked more. The submissive obedient side that obeyed every single one of his needs. Or whether he enjoyed breaking that defiant side of you every now and then. Honestly, you believed that he desired both, his cock leaking with precum against you, almost desperate and needy, if he ever could be. 

At times you saw yourself as more of a concubine than a wife, being torn open by him for his pleasure. 

You hissed at the sensation of his hips thrusting against yours from behind, the cold wall being your only comfort as he kept you tightly pressed up against it. There was no mercy as he buried himself in you again and again, repeating the motions till he was spent. 

// 

You hated him. 

You cursed the bed he slept in as he awoke next to you. 

In his mind the argument had passed, you had learnt your lesson and there was no need to discuss it anymore. 

For you the fresh bruises that sat upon your hips would be a constant reminder even in the weeks to come. 

Your only reprieve had been the few days he had left you for work, leaving you alone in your home with your children to comfort you. In their faces you saw the reason you bore the burden of being Naoya’s wife. 

But when he returned you still found yourself angry at the man you shared a home and a life with. Barely able to meet his eyes as he sauntered around your home, cradling your children in his arms and singing your praises. 

You didn’t care if it meant another dreadful night, turning away from him as he tried to share an affectionate kiss. 

However, you still found yourself flinching when he found you in the bathroom, finding a place behind you as you readied yourself for bed. 

“Wife,” he spoke, voice almost soft as he guided your hips to turn and face him. 

“Husband.” Your voice was small, barely audible even to yourself and you hated yourself for it. Especially when you felt yourself begin to coil inwards when your glazed eyes looked up to meet his, knowing how easily you would allow yourself to succumb to him. 

Naoya trailed his thumb against your faint bruises, swallowing what you could only assume was regret as he gazed down at you. There was a softness to him, one that had you wanting to retract away. 

You despised this, how gentle he could be when he wanted to. You could take the violence and anger, you could bear it. But this cruelty, the one where he toyed with you as he made you believe he cared, had you wanting to spit at him. 

But instead you stayed still, glassy eyes locking with his. 

He couldn't bring himself to say sorry, that wasn't something in Naoya’s vocabulary. But as his head leant against yours, you swore he said it with his touch. The way in which his hand fell down to the bottom of your robe, fingers caressing the soft skin of your thigh as he hiked it up. Then it was in the way his nose nudged against yours, inching himself closer until his lips were grazing yours. 

Your body tensed in his hold, hands reaching up to push against his chest in reaction. But you stopped yourself, letting your hands rest against him instead. 

“I missed you while I was away,” he spoke with sincerity, one that was hard to ignore. “So much.” 

“You didn't even say goodbye before you took off,” you said, trying to sound stronger than you did. Instead your words came out on a whimper, lips trembling as you tried to keep your resolve together. 

He sighed, giving you a bit of space. “You know how I get when you make me upset.” 

“I missed you.” It was the truth, you missed this side of him as much as you hated to admit it. 

Naoya’s lips were on yours in an instance, giving you barely any time to respond as your breath caught in your throat. He was tender with you as if he was a completely different man then he had been a week ago. 

Sometimes in your head, you liked to pretend that he was. As if you could separate the two people he could be, as if it made it any better. 

You gasped when his hand slipped between your thighs, cupping your cunt. Even though there was a part of you that desired to push him away, that defiant part of you that just didn’t want to submit to him, but your body reacted to him, leaning into his touch. 

“Need you,” was all you could manage to whimper in between kisses. 

It’s all he needed, guiding your legs open with his knee, giving himself more room. His fingers didn’t need any instruction, finding your slightly damp folds and moving with a mind of their own. 

So when he retracted, his hand retreating, you were desperate to pull him back in. But he moved his hand swiftly, wrapping them underneath your legs as picked you up, carrying you towards the bedroom. 

“Let me treat you right.” Naoya placed you down on your bed, before pushing you back and falling on top of you. 

His body caged you in, lips crashing down against the skin of your neck. He was taking his time with you, leaving a wet trail of kisses as he pathed his way down your body, slipping the material of your robe off slowly to gain more access to your skin. 

But you craved more, guiding your hips up to grind against him, hoping to ease the tension that was growing there. You could feel how aroused he was through the fabric of his clothes, your nipples pebbling at the feeling of him. 

Naoya wasn’t having any of it, shoving you down by your hips as he tutted. 

“Behave now,” he warned. 

It was harder to listen as his breath fanned against your hardened nipples, finding yourself becoming needier than you allowed yourself to admit. You let out a sharp breath as his lips wrapped around your nipple, tongue flicking over the hardened bud. It was only for a second before he was making his way down your body again, unwrapping your robe until it was only hanging off your arms. 

“My beautiful wife,” he mumbled into your skin, sinking down between your legs. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever done this for, you know that?” He dipped his head down, face mere inches from where you desired him most. “The only woman I’ll ever do this for.” 

“Please,” you pleaded with him, pouting down at him. “Please, Naoya.” 

You felt a wad of spit first, trickling down from the top of your pussy down to your hole. The nasty act had your toes curling, hips almost lifting to meet that mouth of his. 

Luckily he was done with teasing you for much longer, sliding the thick muscle of his tongue against your folds, tasting you with a groan. 

His tongue wasted no time, lapping at your lips as if they were the sweetest meal he had ever tasted. He uses his free hand, fingers spreading your folds to allow himself to get deeper, humming as if he enjoyed it as much as you. He didn’t even protest when your hips bucked up towards him, a moan falling from your lips. 

You could feel how you practically drowned his face, wetness oozing out of you once he sucked on your clit. It was in moments like these when he found himself so eager to please you, desperate to get you back on his side that he’d abandon all hopes of his own pleasure in search of yours. 

But it was you that pleaded, begging him for sweet release as you called his name. Once his fingers slid into your walls, you found it, clenching around the thick digits as he stretched you out with them. When you began to cry at the sensation, back arching off of the bed, he laughed. 

It was cruel in nature, as if to mock you for what you had become for him. But you didn’t seem to mind, only focused on the way his laugh vibrated against you, making your head spiral. 

Naoya continues to laugh as he kisses a trail up your stomach, taking amusement in your state. Your chest rising and falling as you tried to regain breath, hair sticking to your tacky skin. His laugh seemed to fade once his face reached yours, forehead pressed against yours as all that remained was a wicked grin. 

You should have feared him then, ran away like the prey he saw you as but all you could do was stare up at him with wet eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Naoya taunted, hands already pushing your legs upwards and forming them into a mating press. 

As soon as you opened your lips to speak, you were met with the taste of yourself on the tip of Naoya’s tongue. It was intoxicating, distracting you from his tip prodding against your entrance. You barely registered it at first, but once he had you filled to the brim, you found yourself hissing. 

Naoya smirked against you at this, carving his hips upwards as he moved them slowly in and out of you. He takes his time with you, holding himself back as he got you worked up underneath him. 

You could see it in the way his eyes darkened that he was desperate to take what was his and you would have let him, allowed him his true nature if he only asked for it. But Naoya never believed in asking and a snarl formed on his lips, you knew he already figured an excuse for his next actions. 

“Want me to make you a mum again? Hmm?” He asked, knowing what your immediate reaction would be. 

You pouted up at him, tears stinging your eyes as you held your tongue. 

“I think we’re in need of a daughter,” Naoya continued to toy with you, fingers digging into the skin of your thighs. “Don’t you think?” 

You knew he was awaiting an answer and though you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of the answer he desired, you also feared what your silence would also cause. 

You could see him growing impatient, eyes squinting and nose flared as he waited. 

“Please,” you whimpered, tears clogging your throat. 

“Not what you want?” He questioned. 

He could read your answer on your face, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek before he picked up his pace. 

“You’ll bear my child because I want it,” he commanded, thrusting his hips harshly against you, emphasising his words. “As my wife you’ll do this for me.” 

You nodded in agreement, barely able to focus once again as he forced himself in you again and again. 

“Good.” His lips found your neck, teeth grazing the skin of your throat. “After all, I think I like you best swollen and round because of me.” 

There was no fighting against him, you knew that, you had figured that out long ago. That's why in that moment you stopped, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away. Your hands trailed his naked skin, holding him close to you as they wrapped around his neck. 

“That’s my good girl,” he purred, making you clench around him. “Going to let me fill you up all night?” 

“Yes,” you sang, nodding your head. 

And you meant it, truly believing this is where you belonged. This is what you deserved.

//

Taglist: @xxsweetnlowxx @slashmedaddy @yktijdtmyp @4morrant @vcvoxu @paleachcobbler @checkmate-stuff @integers @captainchrisstan @lavender-hvze @candybabysworld @docosahexaenoic-san @karazorel7 @psoycy @andieperrie18 @jay1ly

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I) | Part 4

Word Count: 6.1k

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Summary: When you first met your boyfriend, it was love at first sight. No, more than that. It was love before you even met. It felt like you had known each other in another life and were meant to find each other again. 

But that's not actually true, is it? You and Beomgyu don't actually know each other from another life, and the dreams you've been having aren't memories of your past life either. That's ridiculous. 

But then why does Beomgyu get so defensive about them? And why does each dream feel more real than the one before? 

A/N: this is the sequel to my series YAMQN but I'm trying to write it in a way that it would be comprehensible to people who have never read YAMQN. The parts in italic are the dreams. 

Warnings: fem!reader, breast play, humping, slight somnophilia, switch!reader, switch!beomgyu, mentions of past rape, yandere!beomgyu, reader gaslighting herself

He is lying on his side with his arms wrapped around you, staring at you, while you lay on your back, one hand on his arm draped over your chest and your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You’ve been lying like this since your alarm went off, waking you so you can start getting ready for work, though you think Beomgyu may have been awake even earlier. 

Your middle finger traces a small line over a vein on the back of his arm, feeling the warmth there as if you can feel his life’s blood. His grip on you is steady, confident, and he never takes his eyes off you. 

“Don’t you get tired of it?” You ask softly, voice heavy with sleep. You don’t elaborate on what you mean, and Beomgyu doesn’t ask for it. 

“No.” Comes his quick reply. ”Because just being here with you like this… It makes it all worth it.” 

You finally turn to look at him, and your heart swells up in your chest. You love him so much. Despite everything, you love him.  

“Call in sick for me.” You tell him and he jumps at the opportunity, not hesitating for a second. He grabs your phone and dials your work, making up some bullshit story about you being sick and needing to stay home. You’re usually a dedicated worker despite the grief Beomgyu brings you–because of the grief Beomgyu brings you. The harder he makes it for you, the more you want to hold onto your job because it gives you independence from him and prevents you from being completely codependent on each other the way you know he desires and the way you find yourself secretly wishing you were when things get very tough and all you can think about is being wrapped up by him, protected and cared for and safe from the horrible, cruel world that causes you so much pain and suffering. Because why go out there to fight every day when you can be with him and let him take care of everything? 

But then you force yourself to push these thoughts away and act like a grown-up because despite your immense love for Beomgyu, you're not stupid enough to hang your entire future on a man in this day and age. Yes, he loves you but you’re sure all the women who made that mistake before you were also in love. Or at least you like to think you're not that stupid…But for today you’ll let him win. For today you’ll see what the alternative is. 

Beomgyu ends the call with your boss with a toothy smile on his face. He looks excited, like you’ve given him the best present ever and he jumps back in to take you in his arms, kissing the side of your face. 

“What do you want to do today?” He asks and you shrug, throwing the question back to him. “What do you want to do?” 

“I just want to be with you.” He admits and your heart clenches. 

“Let’s eat first. I’m starving” You tell him and he’s so excited he doesn’t even whine at your lack of reply to his loving proclamation. 

________________________________

Beomgyu makes sure to make the food for you. He keeps apologizing for not having a lot of materials to work with and lamenting the fact that he can’t make this dish or that dish as if you were expecting some extravagant feast. 

“Beomgyu, it’s just breakfast.” You reassure him but he shakes his head. “I want to give you the best. Do you want to go eat out? There is this really good restaurant 20 minutes away.” 

When he tells you the name of the restaurant, you frown. “Isn’t that place really expensive?” 

He shrugs. “Only the best for my princess.” 

You shake your head. “I don’t need something fancy, Beomgyu. Pancakes are fine.”

He frowns at that, seemingly upset that you don’t want the expensive restaurant. What’s the deal with him? Sometimes you think he dislikes that you don’t want him to spend his money on you. 

Still, in order to make him stop fretting, you say, “Being with you is enough.”  

That makes him light up, and he is suddenly content with pancakes too. 

“It looks nice outside. Maybe we can pack up some lunch and go for a picnic?” You suggest and he perks up even more. “Yeah. We've got some cold cuts I can make into sandwiches and we can grab some cupcakes or muffins on the way.” 

He sounds very excited about getting to spend the day like this with you and it makes you both happy that you've made him so excited by such a small thing but also sad that he has probably been feeling a bit neglected by you recently as you pulled away from him due to everything that’s going on with the dreams and Taehyun.

Well, today you'll make it up to him. Today, you'll set all your worries aside and just enjoy the day with your loving boyfriend. 

“Sounds good.” 

___________________________________

Beomgyu made way too much food for the picnic and he insisted on preparing everything all by himself, wanting to pamper you. Maybe he himself also feels guilt over not stopping when you asked him to but in a way that makes you feel even worse. He didn’t know that you were serious and you’re no stranger to playfully whining for the other to stop when you’re messing around–even you have done it to him before–so you understand why he didn’t immediately stop. He must feel awful about it. You may be having issues with Beomgyu but that doesn’t mean that he would ever hurt you in that way. You’re his entire life and it's unfair to him to be having these disturbing thoughts, even if you can't control them. 

Maybe you just need to agree on a safe word so this doesn’t happen again… if you can even get yourself to get over your irrational trepidation every time you think about having sex with him now that is. 

“Beomgyu, I can feed myself.” You roll your eyes when he tries to put a sandwich to your mouth and push his hand away, feeling an uneasy sense of deja vu at the action. For some reason, the most random actions you or Beomgyu do feel like something you’ve done before. Every moment feels like you’ve lived it before and it’s freaking you out. You secretly worry that you’re losing your mind. 

He pouts, looking deflated at the small rejection. “I know. I just want to take care of you.” 

“I don't need you to take care of me.” You say again and he puts the food down, looking even more dejected at that. 

You sigh and open your arms. “Come here, Gyu.”

He eagerly gets into your embrace, laying his head down on your chest and letting you wrap your arms around him. 

You kiss the side of his head, breathing in his scent and feeling it soothe your anxiety like a healing balm. “I don't need all of this. I just need you. The you that I love, and not this crazy possessive guy that scares me.” 

“And I only ever want you.” He looks up at you, his eyes sad. “If I can be sure that you'll only ever be mine, I wouldn't act so crazy.” 

You want to argue with him, get angry that he's asking you to prove your loyalty to him as if you had cheated on him, but you also know that what you feel for Taehyun isn't completely innocent and it would be hypocritical of you to act like his worries are completely irrational. 

You sigh, looking at the park around you. You were at one of your favorite parts by the lake. Though it is a little hard to enjoy with so many people around, kids screaming and guys jokingly cussing each other out. You wish it would just be you and Beomgyu here. 

“You know these grounds once belonged to the royal family.” You tell Beomgyu, “Imagine having all this beauty to yourself. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?”

“I suppose so.” He mumbles unenthusiastically but you keep going. “Their lives must've been so easy. Eating good food, dressing in fancy clothes, sipping tea in their huge ass gardens…”

“I'm sure they had their struggles.” Beomgyu interjects and you snort. “Yeah right. Their struggles of where to spend all that money.”

“They didn't control their own decisions. They were trapped in what everyone else expected of them. They didn't choose what to wear, who to hangout with, what they want to do with their lives or even who to marry.”

Beomgyu's sudden speech gives you pause. “Damn I didn't know you were so passionate about royal life.”

Is he saying that because he wants to discourage you from talking about the prince dreams again? Well, you weren’t planning to mention them to him anymore, not after how twisted and ugly they’re become. 

He falters, seeming to realize how odd it was for him to get worked up over your silly complaints. “It's just… things aren't always what they seem.” 

“I suppose. I mean I hear that their lives were filled with deceit and betrayal, like killing each other for power and shit. I'd rather be poor and alive, thanks.” You finally say to lighten up the mood and he smiles, thankfully playing along. “I want you alive too.”

“How romantic.” You roll your eyes and he laughs. “I admit it's not one of my best lines.” 

“Well, good thing I got you some love poems to learn from.” You declare, pulling out the book you brought along to the picnic. 

“You just want to hear my sexy ass voice narrating your favorite poems.” He calls you out and you don’t even try to deny it. “Guilty. What, I can't take advantage of my sexy boyfriend?” 

“You can take advantage of me all you want, baby.” He says greasily and you pretend to gag. “Stick to the poems, loverboy. Don't waste your voice on these corny lines.” 

“Yes, princess.” He grins, grabbing the book from your hand and flopping his head on your lap so you can play with his hair while he reads your favorite poems.

Sitting there, with the love of your life in your arms, his deep voice reading out words of love and longing from the most gifted poets and writers of the world, you feel lucky. How could you not when those words that have moved millions over decades and centuries, driving them to long for a love just like that, feel like your reality. 

The love you have with Beomgyu is what those poems are written about. Yes, it can be dark and scary, but it can also be so, so beautiful. Just like now, with him sneaking glances at you in between every proclamation of love and adoration he reads off, as if his eyes can’t help but jump to you at every reminder, seeking the sight of the exact love they’re reading about.   

Yes, doing this was the right choice. You feel so happy and content right now, the sunshine beaming down at the both of you and warming up your skin can’t even compete with the internal warmth and love you feel holding Beomgyu at this moment. This is perfect. This is where you belong. And this is just what he’s trying to make sure lasts right? He acts crazy sometimes because he knows this love is too rare and special to lose, right? 

But the feeling of peace and happiness doesn’t last forever, and an unexpected gloom arrives in the form of one of your favorite poems–Annabelle Lee. Sure, it’s a sad and deeply moving poem but you didn’t anticipate the way it was going to affect Beomgyu. 

It all starts off normally, his rich voice setting the perfect tone for the beautiful poem as you play with his soft locks, running them through the fingers of one hand while the other gently massages his scalp. 

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

You smile to yourself as you look down at Beomgyu. It’s funny how that’s just what you were thinking–that all that matters is the love you share between the two of you. You bend down to press a kiss to his forehead, and giggle at the way he unconsciously lifts his head up to get closer to your lips. 

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea:

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Laughed loud at her and me.

Then he hesitates, pausing as he reaches the last line, and you have to nudge him gently to get him to keep going. You see his eyebrows knit together in a perturbed frown but he continues for you. 

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went laughing at her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

You try to smoothen the lines that formed between Beomgyu’s thick eyebrows but even another kiss to the troubled lines are of no use as his focus was now entirely on the book in front of him. His anxiety was palpable and infectious, and a strange sense of doom creeps up on your protective bubble. 

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we—

Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the laughter in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:

Beomgyu's voice turned hoarse and patchy as he carried on, and you feel a prickling at the back of your throat as a profound and all consuming grief that you've never felt before and don’t think you have the capacity to contain threatens to engulf you. You hold onto him tighter, suddenly terrified. It’s silly. You’ve read this poem more times than you can remember, and sure it always moved you and made you sad, but it never caused you such gut-wrenching pain as it was doing right now. Whatever misery the poem was triggering in Beomgyu was transferring directly to you through your skin and suddenly the poet was Beomgyu and you were Anabelle Lee–he’d lost you and you can only sit there and watch him suffer and waste away as he cries over you. 

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Beomgyu's voice breaks completely as he utters ‘my life and my bride’ and by the time he finishes the poem, he is openly crying. You’re crying too, and hugging him tightly to you. You’re sure you’re both making quite the spectacle of yourselves but you don’t care. You hold him so tightly your fingers turn white and numb, and he does the same. The sense of loss that is filling you up is so intense and vivid, it's as if you've lived it. You’re scared that if you let him go, you’ll be taken away from him just like in the poem. 

“Why–” He sobs into your chest, his cries rattling your already injured heart. “Why did they have to be ripped apart?” 

“I don't know, baby.” You bend down to kiss his sweet lips, not really knowing what to say but wishing to calm him down–calm yourself down and try to shake off the irrational fear that something like this is going to happen to you. “Sometimes life is just cruel.” 

“No. I can't accept that.” He says resolutely, sitting up to face you and reaching out to hold your face in his hands. “Promise you'll never let anyone or anything take you away from me.”

“Beomgyu–” 

“Please…” His voice shudders as he tries to speak through his tears. “I can't lose you.” 

“Oh, baby.” You sigh, reaching out to wipe the sparkling tears off his face. Oh, how you'll say and do anything for this beautiful boy. 

“I promise.”

_______________________________

When you get back to work the following day, Taehyun corners you in the back room as soon as he gets the chance. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks with concern in his voice and you look at him in confusion. “Yeah, why?” 

“You called in sick yesterday.” His eyes narrow, already suspicious. 

“Oh, right.” You remember Beomgyu calling in sick for you, and you try to brush off his concern. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

But Taehyun doesn’t let your small slip up pass, now probably convinced there was some malicious reason behind your absence. “Are you sure? Beomgyu didn’t do anything weird, did he?” 

His question pisses you off, perhaps because you already feel so guilty towards Beomgyu for your unjustifiable aversion to being physical to him because of your dreams, but you certainly don’t want Taehyun to think Beomgyu is abusing you or something. “No, he didn’t. He took care of me all day yesterday.” You say sharply and Taehyun winces, realizing he has gotten off on the wrong foot with you and that you’re no longer tolerant of him denigrating your boyfriend’s image to you. 

“I’m sorry.” He quickly backs down, which is unusual for him, and you feel a twinge of sorrow for going off on him like that. He was just worried about you, but still, he was inadvertently part of the reason you and Beomgyu are having issues and you can’t help but feel frustrated and resentful about that.

“Whatever.” You try to brush him off and get back to the main work area but he is not done talking. 

“I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He goes on, stopping you in your tracks and you sigh. You know exactly what he’s talking about. “No, you shouldn’t have.”  

"Can we start over?" 

You stare at him, seeing the hope in his eyes and it brings you nothing but pain. “I’m not sure we can.” 

Maybe in another world you and Taehyun may have been something–in a world where you met him before you met Beomgyu, maybe. But you would be acting wilfully ignorant if you went back to your budding friendship with Taehyun. Because you know it upsets Beomgyu. Because you know it wouldn’t be just an innocent friendship and that there is more at play here. You need to nip it all in the bud before it grows out of control and suffocates your actual, real relationship with Beomgyu. 

You’re loyal to your boyfriend. Whatever strange and inexplicable feelings you hold for Taehyun should be abandoned and forgotten, and they can’t be if you keep being such buddies-buddies with him. 

His face falls at your response and you think you can detect an edge of anger to his voice. Why the hell is he angry? He has no right to be upset with you for setting boundaries in order to protect your relationship. “I was out of line. I get it. I swear it won’t happen again.” 

“It can't.” You affirm, getting angry yourself. “I'm dating Beomgyu. I love Beomgyu.”

Though Taehyun is usually good at managing his facial expressions, you can clearly see the way his face twists in pain at your proclamation. This is exactly why you have to stay away from each other. 

“I know that.” He says through gritted teeth. “Believe me I don’t want to be having these feelings as much as you do, but I can’t control it. There is something drawing us together and I know you can feel it too.” 

“Oh, come on, Taehyun, now you sound delusional like me.” You scoff, berating yourself as much as him. You’ve let this delusion get too far. “Next thing you’ll be saying you’re having dreams of us in a past life too.” 

“Don’t mock me.” He scowls, the hurt still plainly clear on his face no matter how hard he’s trying to hide it with his unjustifiable temper. 

You sigh again. This is not a fight you want to get into. It’s over. You have to end this. “I am not mocking you. But I can’t let whatever this is ruin what I have with the man I love.” 

At that, Taehyun turns and walks away wordlessly, and a deep wound opens up in your chest as you watch him leave. You do your best to ignore it. Just as suddenly and inexplicably these feelings developed for Taehyun, you’re sure they will pass away and everything will return back to normal. This is all just a result of the doubts that have been plaguing you about Beomgyu. It’s just your mind coming up with weird feelings and scenarios that mean nothing. Soon enough, you and Beomgyu will be living in mutual bliss like before and you’ll forget about this whole nightmare. 

_______________________________

Beomgyu is holding back. You can see it. He tries to keep his desires in check so he doesn't hurt you again without meaning to. He doesn’t want to rush you but you can tell he is suffering. 

You can feel the way he reluctantly pulls away when his kisses get heated. You can see the way he averts his eyes when you wear something too revealing around the house. You can hear him when he sneaks to the bathroom in the middle of the night to relieve himself. 

And you can definitely feel it now in the way his unconscious body ruts against yours in his sleep. 

“Beomgyu…” You call out, mouth dry as you feel his cock grinding against your ass. 

“Princess…” He moans at the sound of you calling his name, his hips driving into your ass harder, still asleep. “Need you…”

And you'd be lying if you said you weren't affected too. You need him too. Your body naturally reacts to his, panties already getting wet as his bulge grinds between your legs. But you still haven’t been able to shake those disturbing images and feelings out of your head completely, especially not when he calls you princess. The word now carries an unexpected negative association for you.  

“Princess, please…” He cries in your ear, his fingers digging into your stomach. “Oh god, please.”

It makes you feel so fucking guilty to hear how desperate and needy he sounds, unconscious and unable to hold himself back like has been doing so many times recently. You want so bad to help. You want to push him on his back and ride his cock until he’s satiated and happy like he always gets when you fuck him, but you’re not sure you can. 

“Wake up.” You urge him, torn between the heat gathering in your belly and the suffocating feeling of being trapped in his hold. You want to help him–you want to help yourself–but you’re fucking scared that it would trigger those horrific images once again. 

But Beomgyu only whines and drives his hips into your harder. “My princess…”

“Beomgyu, wake up.” You call out once again, much more firmly this time, and he finally jolts awake, sitting up so he’s now hovering over you and checking you over. 

“Wha–what?” His first instinct is to make sure you’re safe and unharmed, looking over your body and touching you slightly all over to confirm you’re not injured. Then the confusion comes in–why do you have that look on your face?--but that only lasts a few seconds before the realization finally kicks in and his face crumbles in dismay. “Fuck, sorry. I’m so sorry. I've just been–”

“Needy? Yeah, I can feel that.” You push your thigh between his legs, trying to push away your unwanted feelings. He was so panicked about you being hurt that it all just makes you feel that much more guilty. Beomgyu would never hurt you. It was all in your head, and you want to get rid of it. You want to allow yourself to feel the love of your boyfriend again. 

“Oh, princess, I missed you so much.” He falls right into it, humping your leg just like you expected. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so weak.” 

“Aw, puppy…” You coo, brushing his hair out of his face so you can take a good look at the pathetic look on his face that you love so much. It sends a fucking jolt of electricity down to your already heated core. 

“It has barely been a couple of weeks.” You reprimand as if your panties weren’t rapidly getting wet right now. But Shame isn’t in Beomgyu’s vocabulary anyway. “A couple of weeks of having you right next to me and not being able to touch you. It was torture.” 

He pushes your nightshirt up and buries his face in your tits. You almost laugh, of course this would be the first thing the pervert does. Except what comes out of your mouth are not laughs but moans as his mouth quickly finds one of your nipples to wrap around. 

“Fuck, I missed these tits.” He mumbles, voice muffled as he continues to kiss and suck all over your breasts, making your back arch up into his touch and small whines escape your lips. 

“Good boy, gyu.” You whine, fingers pulling ruthlessly at his hair that you’re usually so careful and gentle with as he pulls your other nipple in his mouth and sucks harshly. Your hips thrust up against his body as you seek some relief from the liquid heat dripping out of you. 

He quickly notices and one of his hands sneaks between your legs to cup your soaked panties. He pulls off your nipples with an obscene pop, smirking cockily. “Looks like I'm not the only needy one here.”

You can't do anything but bite your lip as his palm kneads your sensitive pussy, your teeth tearing into the soft skin as you try to hold in your own needy moans. But Beomgyu doesn’t like that. He uses his other hand to pull your lip away from your teeth and push his thumb in so he has your mouth open and nothing in the way of the salacious noises he craves. 

“Beomgyu…” You slur, struggling to talk with his thumb pushing down on your tongue but it's clear from the way you push your pussy further against his hand what you want. 

“Are you gonna cum, princess?” He asks, his eyes raking up and down from your flushed face to your exposed tits as you arch your body up, seeking your high against his hand. 

“Uh-huh.” Drool dribbles down the corner of your mouth that is still held open by Beomgyu before he finally removes his thumb from your mouth and uses it to flick and pull at your perked nipple.

That extra bit of stimulation makes you cry and jolt as your orgasm comes crashing down like a wave onto your poor deprived body. If your panties were wet before, you're sure that now they've drenched and staining the sheets under you. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t care. He focuses on your face as the embarrassingly wet sounds of him continuing to palm your pussy through it all fill the room. 

He doesn't stop until after your body is no longer convulsing and just settling into a sluggish tremble as your slack open mouth lets out small, hoarse moans. 

Finally he stops, bending down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into open mouth and his hand wrapping around your jaw to get you to wrap your lips around it. You sluggishly respond, your mind still blank from the intense pleasure you just experienced. You didn’t even realize how much you'd missed his touch until now. 

But it's not over yet. You may have gotten what you needed but he is still as needy as he was before–even more so after the little show you put on for him, and you can feel exactly how much when pulls your soaked panties to the side to press his bare cock against your pussy. 

But as soon as you feel the head of his cock at your entrance, your body seizes up in terror and your mind goes into overdrive with image after image of that horrible nightmare. 

“No!” You shriek, trying to close your legs and push him away but you can't because he's lying between your legs and you only succeed in pulling him closer to you which freaks you out even more and you start sobbing. “No. Please, no.”

“What? What happened? What did I do?” He freaks out too. It must be such a whiplash for him. Everything was going so well and he probably doesn't understand what caused your sudden breakdown, but it's not like you can explain it to him when you don't even understand it yourself. 

All you know is that you don’t want him to stop so you just cry and shake your head. “Don't. Please, don't.” 

The blood drains from his face as he helplessly watches you descend further and further into this unprovoked mental break. “Baby, what's wrong? Just tell me what happened.”

He tries to reach out to calm you down but you finally manage to push him off you and scramble off the bed. “Stay away.” 

You pull your night shirt down to cover yourself. You feel disgusted, tainted, used. Why is this happening to you? What the fuck is wrong with you?

“Princess, please. Talk to me.” He pleads, and you can see his fists clutching tightly onto the bedsheets in order to hold himself back from leaping off the bed and taking you in his arms like you know he is dying to. That's his natural response. It's what his body and heart compel him to do. When you're hurt and in pain, that's what he does–he holds you, kisses you, comforts you, reassures you until you forget everything that has hurt you because nothing in heaven or on earth can get through him. He would never let anything hurt you. But how can he do that when he's the one who is hurting you? How can he protect you from himself? 

“You're killing me, baby.” He weeps, distraught and not knowing what to do with himself when he doesn’t even know how he's hurt you. “Please, please, tell me what I did so I can fix it.”

How can you say it? It's too cruel. If he's upset and miserable now, you don't want to think about what he'd be like if you revealed to him that the reason you have been withdrawing from him and reacting so negatively to his touch was because of the terrible disgusting images your fucked up brain decided to randomly conjure up and that he had no control over. It wasn't his fault and you were basically treating him like a rapist. 

But Beomgyu will not let it go. How can he when he can't even touch you without you reacting like he had burned you? He has to know. He deserves to know it's not his fault. 

“It's… the dreams.” You start, finding it difficult to talk through your parched throat. Your eyes flutter all over his face, searching for the smallest reaction to your words. You know he won't take it well–and you can't blame him. This is why he was so wary of the dreams. He didn't want them to infect your real life and now they have completely infested your brain. 

“I had an awful dream that you… that you..” You break down crying again. You don't want to say it. You don't want to break him twice. The worst thing is that they weren’t even just dreams anymore. It was like you were recalling actual memories. They come to you while you’re fully awake now. There is no escape and you don’t know what to do. 

“That I what?” He asks, voice so shallow with fear that it's barely a whisper. 

“That you… forced yourself on me.” You finally say it and the color drains completely from Beomgyu's face. “I tried so hard to push those images away. I know you would never do that to me but every time we touch–”

“I got it.” He cuts you off, not wanting to hear anymore. Beomgyu never shuts you up. He always wants to hear you talk–to hear every thought that crosses your mind. He soaks them all up whether good or bad. This is the first time he's ever had enough and that scares you more than anything. Is this how you ruin your relationship? Is this the final straw?

“Oh god, Beomgyu, I'm sorry.” You can hardly see through your tears so you walk closer to him, your need to be comforted by him, to know he still loves you, finally overpowering the heinous images in your brain. 

But your heart rips in half when Beomgyu flinches away from your touch. “Don't.” 

“I'm sorry.” You repeat, holding your arms out slightly from your body, waiting for Beomgyu to slot his own between them where they belong, selfishly needing him to make you feel better about everything when you’re the one who hurt him. “I'll do better. I will force myself to get through this. Just please…”

“Okay.” Beomgyu replies emotionlessly and gets off the bed and away from you. 

“Where are you going?” You ask him, terrified. “Are you leaving? I'm sorry, I swear. Forget about everything I said. I'll do whatever you want, just please–”

You walk towards him, reaching out to grab the top of his pants, intent on doing anything to make him stay but he pushes you off, disgust etched on his face. “No. Don't touch me.”

You knew those words hurt him when you said them to him before but you couldn't have imagined just how much, but as you stand now with those same words directed at you, it takes every fiber of you being not to hunch over from the agony they inflict on you. You never thought those wretched words would ever come out of Beomgyu's mouth–no, not your Beomgyu. And it's all your fault. 

“Please, don't leave me.” You cry, and Beomgyu looks at you in shock. “Leave? I told you I would never leave you.”

That brings you some comfort, but it's not complete as he continues to stand far away from you, and you make sure to tell him as much. 

“Then come hold me.” You ask petulantly. Is it hypocritical of you to demand physical closeness from him when you had before pushed him away when he was in your shoes? Yes, but you don't care. You just want him to stay and put your heart back together before you bleed out. 

“I need space. I need to think.” He says and you shake your head resolutely. “There is nothing to think about. I want you to stay.”

He gives you a smile so ingenuine it looked more like a grimace. “I'll see you in the morning.” 

“Don't walk out on me, Beomgyu.” You tell him, a threatening edge to your voice. Threatening what? You don't know. What are you going to do, sulk until he comes back? 

And he knows it too because he just shakes his head and tells you to get some sleep before he walks out. You scream after him, probably waking up all the neighbors but you don't care.

“Beomgyu! Come back! You're just gonna leave me here like this, you fucking asshole?” You scream and scream until your throat raw but he doesn’t come back, and with the last bit of your energy spent on your screams, you crumble to the ground and curl up into a ball–your knees pressed up to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them–trying to staunch off your hemorrhaging heart as your world falls away around you. 

_________________________________________

A/N: this will always remain my comfort fic despite how dark it can be. i will never get over this. anyway let me know your thoughts and depending on the result of this poll, the next chapter may be the last one or there will be one more chapter.

[ghost-bxrd]

Okay but I just saw the ask about AToM where the rumour reaches the bats that they've seen the Red Hood's face and there's no way that guy is an adult and the duo is just like a child and a bigger child (a dog with a horse if you will) and I can't stop picturing Batman awkwardly switching gears like:

Batman, who yesterday was threatening to break every bone in Red Hood's body if he didn't "release" Mockingjay: Kids, where are your parents?

Mockingjay: Red Hood's taking care of me, he's the only parent I need!

Batman: Kid, I understand you trust your big brother a lot, but Red Hood is too young to take care of a child, he needs help and support and people to take care of him too...

Red Hood: *bluescreens so hard he starts to shake*

Mockingjay, seeing an opportunity: Fuck you, Red's dad is stupid and horrible and a dirty deadbeat bastard who hurt him and I hate him and you're awful for thinking we need him! Say you're sorry!

Batman: Okay, okay, I'm sorry!

Mockingjay: For what?

Batman: I'm sorry... That Hood's dad is a dirty bastard... Who hurt him... And that I couldn't protect you two from him...

Red Hood:

Batman:

Mockingjay, smirking: You forgot deadbeat.

Mockingjay throwing shade since day one ksksksksks 🤣😭💚

But now imagine we have Batman desperately trying to figure out HOW old Hood really is! Because— all that body armor and steel toed boots could bulk someone up significantly. He could be anywhere between 14 and 20, the only point of reference they have is “baby face” and “older than Mockingjay”, which could mean anything really 😭😭😭😭

[bluestdai]

✦ bestfriend!noah x reader — spending time together

bestfriend noah who brings home injured stray cats to take care of them. bestfriend noah who has like eight stray cats in his parents house backyard cause once he nurses them back to health he can't just let them go. bestfriend noah who loves the cat ear headphones you bought him and sends you selfies wearing them -with his shirt off- and loves being called a cat dad. bestfriend noah who's probably your dog's favorite human and brings your dog treats everytime he comes over; he comes over to see you cause you're his bestfriend but he never forgets to bring your dog treats to make him happy. bestfriend noah who loves coming over to your house to charm your parents everytime with his jokes and well behaved manners but really he just wants to spend time with you. spending time for the two of you used to mean eating the snacks your mom brought to your room but now it means locking the door so noah can spend as many hours as he has between your legs, licking and sucking at your cunt till your thighs start shaking so fast that he has two keep them still with both hands. spending time now means noah telling you he loves how you whimper and moan so he uses every opportunity to eat you out and fingering you so he can hear your pretty voice again and again. spending time with noah now means having your face pressed into your pillows after he eats you out for hours for him to use your holes and telling you how good you feel and how much he loves being inside you. spending time now means sneaking out of the house late at night to get milkshakes and then have the melted subtance licked of your stomach -cause oops you're wearing a crop top and oops you got milkshake all over yourself- by noah and minutes later your shorts are on the backseat of his car, one leg on the dashboard and the other resting on his shoulder as he drags the sweet liquid down on your core and the licks your arousal that's mixed with it.

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: What Element Do You Embody?

⍎ "The force that unites the elements to become all things is Love, also called Aphrodite; Love brings together dissimilar elements into a unity, to become a composite thing. Love is the same force that human beings find at work in themselves whenever they feel joy, love and peace. Strife, on the other hand, is the force responsible for the dissolution of the one back into its many, the four elements of which it was composed." - Empedocles

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, change any pronouns to apply to you. Also, these elements don't have to correspond with your birth chart.

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

⌾ Pile One ⌾ (4oC rev., 10oS, High Priestess, 6oP)

Your soul’s energetic thumbprint is GODLY. 

But I’m getting ahead of myself, your element is AETHER.

I get the sense that you’ve been sort of incognito for a large chunk of your life. You felt more comfortable being an observer and watching the world unfold before you.

Not out of fear, you’re just naturally curious in a spectating sense rather than interactive. You hear what’s left unsaid, feel people’s suppressed/underlying emotions, and see what others are blind to. The high priestess is all-knowing but keeps the universal truth to herself because she knows not everyone is meant to see what she sees.

You hold a lot of unknown truths, but truths often become burdens. You carry other people’s pain because you know they can’t handle it, often thanklessly. You throw yourself in front of the bus before the other person even realizes there's a threat coming at all. 

The weight you carry on your back would crush the average person. Deny it all you want, but in the cosmic book of life, you’re a modern-day hero in a way.  

It’s like when the older sibling sacrifices themselves to protect their kid siblings from the horrors they’ve had to endure in their family environment. They know they’re the only barrier between the monsters and their loved ones, often sacrificing opportunities and peace of mind to be that protection.

It doesn't have to be this case scenario, but if the situation resonates with you, I see you. The universe sees you. Your valiance and selfless nature deserve songs and praises, never belittle your efforts. 

Okay back to aether, y’all know I love to yap. 

I am heavily getting this silent heroine presence because aether is the antithesis of fire, water, earth, and air. It’s cold because it does not have fire’s warmth, weightless because it is not heavy like earth or water, and immobile because it does not have air’s fluidity. Sounds bad, but it’s fucking AWESOME.

The aether element allows for the other element’s existence. It has no boundaries and fills every corner of life, it is Godly and omnipresent. The word αἰθήρ (aithḗr) in Homeric Greek means "pure, fresh air" or "clear sky".[3] In Greek mythology, it was thought to be the pure essence that the gods breathed, filling the space where they lived, analogous to the air breathed by mortals. 

Aether is essentially empty space that allows for life to be. The movement of our bodies takes place in these empty spaces. I.e. the hollowness of our lungs allows breath, space in the throat causes speech, the heart needs space to contract and pump blood, and so forth. Life could not exist without this empty space.

Since the aether element is subtle yet all-pervading, it is the most spiritual element and is considered a bridge between the earthly realm and the divine. 

Quintessence is also a term that is quite often used for ether as it denotes the “heavenly bodies” present in the universe such as the stars and galaxies.

(A CROW HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU, GO OUTSIDE)

You have this quiet, subtle, but Godly presence about you just like the aether element. 

Circling back to the silent heroine archetype, to sum up my rambling, aether is out of human perception (like your silent, observant nature) but is the backbone of existence (the power in that very nature).

You’re a bit of an oxymoron. You notice everything, and that forces you to be a bit apathetic because constantly being in fight or flight isn’t good for the body. But on the other hand, you’re extremely empathetic because you understand the world’s suffering more acutely than anyone else. You’re a quiet presence and try not to interfere with other people’s lives but you’re simultaneously the very barrier that stops some people’s lives from crumbling. 

The aether element 🤝 you. TWINNEM

Sidenote: Shoutout to my Shatabhisha natives yet again! Also, if you find this element interesting and want to know more about this dominating energy in your life, I hyperlinked two websites for you that are worth reading. 

And go outside! My window is open and this single crow is SCREAMiNG at me.

Also, you’re smart enough, aim for that challenging degree. 

Okay! MUAH!

Beyond The Breath of Mere Mortals

⌾ Pile Two ⌾ (Ace of Cups, 8oP, Page of Swords)

^^^ You fr

RISE UP MY LIL TSUNAMIS!!!  aka my WATER elements

You’ve definitely been called overly emotional as an insult. Well fuck that person, they wish they had your appeal.

Do you know how crazy you drive people? I imagine you as the person in a movie who the depressed main character meets once at a party, ditches the crowd, goes on an adventure with, and as the sun rises, they look over at you and realize life is worth living. 

Even if you don’t identify as female, you have a strong effeminate allure. Not in a traditional “pink” sense, but in a receptive manner. You stand there and look pretty while the world crawls to you. Adventures seem to rush toward you. 

Your energy colors life; water gives the Earth foliage and growth. Without water, everything in existence is dry, stiff, and lacks the nourishment to evolve.

People feel alive around you, imagine those moss patches that start dry and grey but once they touch water, they get bright green and abundant. 

You color those dry patches in people’s lives. However, many people aren’t used to this intense water dominance. It unbalances them and feels irrational.

Society grooms people to suppress their emotions, so those who embrace their feelings and work to understand them appear juvenile and possibly even threatening. 

The word sensitive or emotional is almost a slur in today's society 😭

But your sensitivity is your power and serves you a great deal of intelligence. Especially with people! This is a very fiery, intense energy. Y’all are my Scorpio/8th house knockouts (check your sidereal chart as well).  

You have a very penetrative presence, you are felt before you are seen, but you will never go unnoticed. You’re a bit obsessive, you want to know everything about everyone.

Favorite color? Childhood horrors? Most shame-ridden secret? Their first celebrity crush? That embarrassing moment in middle school they’d rather die than bring up? The opinion that would get them jumped on twitter.com?

And you’re good at getting these answers out of people. Two minutes with you and people start word-vomiting their entire consciousness onto you. That magnetizes people and in turn, makes them obsessed with you. 

Your energy is very alluring, in the same way, the gentle sway of the ocean lures people in. They are slightly in fear of the emotional hold you have over them. The ocean might soothe or drown them. In the same way, the ocean seduces, your aura has an unpredictable grasp on people. 

I feel like this strong emotional energy took a while to tame, it used to unbalance you. Life had major emotional ups and downs with long days of you feeling like you’re being submerged under water. But just like any skill, you honed it and achieved mental clarity, to wield your emotions to your benefit. 

The water element sends you through hell for you to achieve liberation. Once you fight your biggest demon (yourself and all the torment the mind can conjure), you come out the other side knowing that the worst isn’t strong enough to take you down and nothing will. 

The waves that once drowned you are turning into a weaponized tsunami you command. You have the power to nourish and destroy. 

If you’re not quite there, you’re well on your way. Keep doing what you’re doing, sexy. 

Resist Me If You Can

⌾ Pile Three ⌾ (2oP, 3oC, 8oP)

Welcome my manifesters! We’re talking ‘bout the EARTH element baby!

This is the earthiest earther I know, and Pile 3 get down! Pile 3 dont play!

You work so hard, it’s borderline masochistic 😭

It doesn’t have to be work in a traditional- go to your job and get noticed by the boss- sense, this extends to every corner of life. You’re objective-oriented and do not stray from the mark until the box is checked. 

This can be as simple as having a goal to learn how to whistle by next Sunday. You’ve already marked time out of the week for ten minutes a day to practice, found YouTube instructors, bought chapstick so your lips don’t dry out, and it’s all you can think about until you get that high of accomplishing something.  

Earth is the manifesting element because it's where our thoughts accumulate enough energy to materialize. It's quite a powerful position to be in. One day it's just a dream, and by the next it's reality. 

Well, that's an exaggeration, the earth element is quite slooowwww due to its weight.

It’s the heaviest element because it’s the most long-lasting. Water evaporates, air swiftly changes, and fire burns; only Earth will remain. Anything worthwhile takes time, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I think you understand this, but you don’t always have the patience for your desires to materialize. If you feel like you aren’t actively making progress on your goal, you tend to juggle multiple projects just to get that rush of achievement we were talking about earlier. 

I’m making an addiction reference because it applies here. This incessant need to reach every goal as soon as you think you should is causing you to over-extend yourself and the stress on the body is throwing you into disharmony. 

Not everyone gets their license at 16. Not everyone moves out of their family’s home at 18. Not everyone has a job straight out of college. Not everyone has their life all figured out…ever. 

Balance is needed. You’re too hyper-focused on deadlines and seeing results, that you’re putting your overall wellbeing on the line. YOU are your most prized possession and need to care for yourself like you’re the shiniest medal on your mantel. 

The “Gullible” card came out, don’t worry, you’re not naive in a trusting way (not that you should be blamed for putting your trust in people anyway). I see it as your goals aren’t rooted in your true self enough and are too influenced by others. 

(Extreme example): You see someone (who has probably been practicing their whole life) play the violin really well at a young age. Now, you’ve made a goal to be as good as them in just a few years; every time you feel like you’re lagging on that deadline, you start berating yourself and feel inferior because you haven’t reached this unrealistic standard you’ve set.

Is this goal a good use of your finite energy? Is this objective authentic to you? Or is this just something that will give you a temporary ego stroke?

I think life is forcing out into a hanged man moment currently. Your perspective needs to switch inward so you can ground all of this powerful energy into something that will actually satisfy you, not just give you a quick high for a moment and then redirect you to your next conquest. 

You want something that will give you pride and fulfillment at your core and the universe wants to give that to you, but you have to know what will make you happy. What gives you inner harmony?

And I don’t mean what you see makes others “happy”. Not a mansion, fame, the newest fashion trends, expensive skin care, etc. I mean the things that bring you joy beyond the physical. 

Think about what made your younger self jump out of bed every morning to experience. What did your soul shine for, before the world shamed it out of you?

You don’t have to know now, but you must be willing to pause and raise the importance of your health and happiness to the same height as your material/skill gains. I know those things make you feel good, but it's temporary, and if you want to achieve lasting happiness you need to achieve harmony with all aspects of your life. Right now, your inner health needs a leg up to balance the scale.

The earth gets stiff and stops evolving without water. Don’t allow yourself to dry up. Give yourself space to go on an inner journey and rest. The universe understands perfection takes time. The planets took billions of years to form, a tree takes decades to reach maturity, and only humans have deluded themselves into thinking results are instantaneous. 

A week of rest is still progress!

P.S The attractive card FLEW out. Your “do or die” energy, though unhealthy at times, is sexy as fuck and you have this magician-type- nothing is impossible for me- allure to you. Green, red, and black make people want to sneak another peak at you. 

"Wait Instead of Push, Root Instead of Reach"

⌾ Pile Four ⌾ (The devil, 10oS, Ace of pentacles, 7oP)

MUY CALIENTE INDEED!!

They don’t call you a hot lil mama for nothin!

You embody the FIRE element. Although, you are quite earthy. This is my most mixed-element pile. Read pile three for sure.

You’re a very proactive person. You have earth’s manifesting qualities and fire’s initiative. You seize opportunities and start goals without hesitation. Very very attractive.

This reading doesn’t have to correlate with your birth chart, but all love to my Sagittarius and Aries folk. Of course, sending a special kiss to the Leos.

You have the same obsessive, hyper-focused tendencies as pile three but I feel like instead of a brief moment of accomplishment, you’re craving glory and the freedom to shine as brightly as you desire. 

In your formative years, you’ve had to dim your light for survival and to escape ridicule. You’ve had to fit into a mold that is much smaller than your true form, stifling your potential. This energy feels very suffocating. Picture a boiling fire covered with a lid. It’s like a false skin has trapped you and cut off your oxygen.

But don’t worry, ever heard of cleansing by fire? The fire element is about purity and rebirth. It burns impurities to get matter back to its rawest, unadulterated form. You will burn that false skin off, to reveal a phoenix underneath, it's all a part of your evolution. 

Fire ignites instantaneously but can burn out just as quickly. You suffer from exhaustion a lot of the time. This is where the earth energy meets the fire. You have a longer refractory period than usual fire personalities because of the heaviness of the earth element. 

You’re like an engine sitting outside in the winter. Give it twenty minutes to warm up and get its groove but once it does, OOHHH BOOYYY, WE’RE ROLLIN’!

You have earth’s slowness and need for perfection, so you take longer to complete tasks and may even be a late bloomer.

I feel like you crave the spotlight, not necessarily fame, but recognition on some scale. You have always subconsciously known that your flame was being smothered and that you had not seen that full extent of you.  Your subconscious brought this to your attention with desires to be seen.

Some of you want to be recognized for your talents, beloved for your beauty, admired for your wit, favored for your charm, hell all of the above!

And you deserve it! You desire these things because your soul is trying to tell you something. You are meant to be seen.

I sense a lot of fear in this pile. Fire energy is very headstrong and likes to race to the finish line (the hare). Earth energy is contemplative and likes to play the long game (the tortoise). The two conflicting energies can create some paralyzing doubt in your psyche. One side thinks the other is irrational.

Do I stay or do I go? Can I even trust myself to make a decision I might regret?

Yes, you can! You have to, there is one thing that fire and earth can agree on, it's their shared annoyance with stagnation. Go for it babe, you miss all the shots you don’t make, all choices lead forward (which is where you need to go).

I’m telling you, anything you want you will get, just don’t be afraid to burn that false skin off. 

Find a median for the two energies. Dream big and have the self-assurance to go for it, but methodically plan out all your adventures so that earthy need for a stable foundation is satisfied. 

A vision board with ideas of ways to achieve these dreams will help pull your thoughts into the physical and be a great step to giving you the confidence to move forward.

Because I promise you, once you get going, there will be no stopping you.

Note: I think “You’re afraid of being seen” videos on YouTube will be great for rewiring your fear-based thinking. Confidence affirmations are a great addition to your day too. Oh, and please read pile three, there are some messages in there for you. 

"Have a Love Affair With The Sun"

If you enjoyed this reading feel free to check out my masterlist and poke around. I feel a lot of these pacs are connected, so go find yourself in other readings!

I don't bite I swear, book a reading with me if you feel inclined <3