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#it’s time for me to take control
silvershayde · 1 year
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I have made an executive decision.
I am removing tumblr off of my phone.
Amongst other things. Can’t say I’m happy, sad or anything like that cause, well, I don’t have a good understanding of my own emotions. But I know that I am not okay. Like at all. With how i am and how my life is going, I mean. I basically need to get my shit together.
And I believe the first step is logging off. Cause Tumblr is a nice reprieve right, but I’ve reached a stage where I get off of Tumblr to immediately go back on it and that is not good. I’m going to delete it and my only access to tumblr would be through my laptop but ik im too lazy to go onto my laptop to log on to tumblr. Also my laptop is always dead for some reason so there’s also that.
I’m cutting off a lot of stuff, need to touch some grass so to speak. Maybe even go back to my roots. Not everything obviously, I don’t want to accidentally go insane having no sources of serotonin. They say it takes like 66 days to form a habit, well I’m not putting tumblr amongst other things back on my phone until its november/december. There’s too many things I need to tackle and I’m spiralling. I need to take it a day at a time.
So yeah. I guess that means I’m going on a semi-hiatus. I’m trying to be better and trying to stick to things. But in order to do that I really need to minimise distractions. Which is hard. Really hard. I’m cutting myself off from music too. Just so I can stop my brain from distracting myself. Which sucks. But I need to start somewhere right?
In like an hour or so, tumblr will be off my phone and this hiatus will begin. I’ll see ya’ll whenever. Its been fun!
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spacedace · 1 year
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What is it about laying on the floor when you're overwhelmed that makes everything feel so much better?
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bixels · 7 months
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Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.
Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.
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girlboyburger · 3 months
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had an identity crisis, prime time for a slight sona redesign!
it's cow! (again!)
+ a closeup because i'm really proud of the eyes
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criticalsyourroles · 6 months
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now i've watched a fair amount of d&d i've started to pick up on the differences between dm style i think
like brennan IS all the bad guys. every game he dms is brennan vs the players. he makes npcs and battles that make his friends throw things at him and he smirks the whole time. he makes them tell him their worst fears and then he makes them do it. and it's awful and amazing and really funny
matt IS exandria. his characters and battles never feel written or constructed, they just feel like things that already existed in the world. it's all about verisimilitude with him, and he's amazing at it. he tends to fade into the background and let the players react to the story and it makes everything he does incredibly cinematic
aabria dms like she's just another player at the table reacting to the story, right up until someone gets lulled into a false sense of security and tries to fool around and THEN she throws a curveball by making them deal with the consequences of their choices. she's like oh you think that's funny?? then i'm about to be hilarious, bitch. and she keeps getting away with it bc she's just that good!
basically, brennan's an evil bastard, matt's the world, and aabria's the queen of consequences
or:
brennan - fuck
matt - around
aabria - find out
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Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice
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So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"
(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)
He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.
Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!
(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.
Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )
When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.
So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.
He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.
Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.
Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.
And there's so much work.
Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.
Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.
His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.
Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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*tries to organize my thoughts*
*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*
*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*
(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next
#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment#so many innocent bystanders at stake#every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis#racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system#and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description#aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh#(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain#and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students#this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE#...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power#and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class#which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever#it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding#are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it#please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent#mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies#& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground#mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man
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khaotunq · 1 month
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Khaotung Thanawat as Ray (Only Friends, 2023)
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egophiliac · 8 days
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I hope someone hasn’t asked but what did you use to rig the deformed Maleanor? It looks so cool!!
thank you! :D :D :D I drew her in Photoshop (there's an overly-long speedrun video here) and rigged her in Spine Professional! her rig is...very messy...but it works for a silly little fanproject where nobody needs to know how many bones I kept shoving in to try and force her cape to stop breaking. :')
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it was easier to just export images directly from Spine, so all the backgrounds and credit text are in there too as separate skeletons! who needs compositing when you can just throw everything into one project and let it simmer. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
(I figured I should probably have a tag for this stuff by this point, so I've added #spineposting to posts of/about my Twst chibis and Spine!) (once again I am reminded that I really need to go back and fix poor Che'nya for a third time...)
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heph · 2 months
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It's so interesting how submissive House is to Wilson. In basically every scene where Wilson gives his 2 cents about a case, House without fail (for the most part) follows his opinion. Wilson gives him unsolicited advice and half the time he listens without saying anything, and the other half he argues but ends up listening to him anyway. House starts psychoanalysing Wilson and Wilson does it right back to him and House shuts the fuck up or gives a one line quip back at him (to have the last line) but knows deep down Wilson is right.
For a man of House's stature and how he interacts with Literally Everyone Else, the writers really hammer it into your soul that House only really listens to Wilson and no one else
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kittykatninja321 · 10 months
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When people say “Jason wouldn’t smoke because he died of smoke inhalation” I respectfully have to disagree, because if there’s one thing Jason is going to do he’s going to take aspects of his trauma and use them for himself and push on them like a bruise (he takes the name red hood, he uses explosives and guns, the crowbars were lame but they weren’t out of character), so I don’t think that would stop him from smoking. The way I see it I think Jason would be one of those people who occasionally smokes a cigarette when things are Particularly Bad, even though they swear they stopped smoking, like a maladaptive coping mechanism basically
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cloysterbell · 29 days
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Pete, I need you to stay here.
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zorosdimples · 7 months
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Why are we guys not speaking about cock inspections😭😭
what are you thinking of, hm?
pulling down his pants and letting his half-hard cock—though he vehemently insisted he was soft—nearly slap your face? staring at it for a few moments before taking his length in your palm and feeling the smooth velvet of the foreskin? refusing to kiss it as your breath ghosts the tip, waiting to see precum pool at the slit and drip down the shaft, parallel to a prominent vein? pulling the foreskin back and trailing around the head with the pad of your thumb? feeling the pulsing heat of his erect cock and ignoring all his whimpers and moans for attention? running a hand down to fondle his balls and test their weight? telling him that if he’s a good boy and manages to get through this without blowing his load, then you’ll give him a nice treat?
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anxious-lorf · 9 months
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The World Ends With You is a veritable goldmine for out-of-context screenshots
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bread-wizards · 20 days
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Love Laudna wanting Orym to be the one to cut her down if need be because she feels he can make hard choices, and Travis like "uh hello? What about Chetney? You want to put Orym through that anguish? I am right here" like damn, he right tho
#chet is 400+. his relationship with grief is very different from orym who is 6 years into being a widow and being retraumatised each day#chetney is big picture#he doesnt have that same level of responsibility for the others safety and protection that someone like orym has#not to say he doesnt care. he very much does. its just different#for him sometimes caring means putting your dog down when they are suffering#orym would see having to hurt his friends as a personal failing#like how he saw himself dying as a failure#i do find it funny whenever the team is like 'what if i hurt one of you when i lose control? i couldnt live with myself :('#'anyway orym i want you to kill me on purpose'#and orym just like :/ because what is he going to do? say no?#set boundaries and take his own future mental state into account?#nope. if it helps the others then he will commit an unforgivable act and barely be able to live with the guilt after#love that the halfling has been weaponised#this sounds sarcastic. i mean it. its juicy storytelling#the hells need to take chetney into account more. this man is pop pop. he cares in the way a dad friend would#gentle and sweet at times. an empathetic listener#but also willing to smack the shit out of you if you do some fuckshit#he would be so gentle with taking them out#would immortalize them through his woodwork after to remember them#critical role#cr3#orym#chetney#text post#4sd spoilers#my posts#idk if thats a needed tag#sorry for my wall of text tags but i ramble
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