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captain-aralias · 2 years ago

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giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.

#aralias's baby #personal #my content

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z-h-i-e · 5 months ago

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I finally managed to log into Chewy and memorialize all the pets yesterday.

And yes, all is accurate — all of the pets we had when 2024 began are no longer with us. If we go back a smidge to 2023 that includes Aredhel as well. This post has a happy ending of sorts, but it definitely starts rough.

Princess Paige was a sweet little bean — she was born blind and abandoned at the humane society at age 7. We adopted her six months after Trotter passed—because she looked a lot like him (we’ll get back to that).

We only had her for 18 months. It turned out she had kidney failure, but by the time that was recognized (it was misdiagnosed as allergies for many many months), we only had a few weeks left with her. We set up home hospice and made it the best final weeks we could.

At the same time, the grand queen, Oreo, had some sort of something occur. Oreo was already 20 nearing 21, and when she was 18 had an absolute fit about the vet to the point the vet declined to draw blood because she was just too angry, plus her age.

She was an eating champ up until the end. She actually bounced back for a couple of months and outlived Paige by five weeks. She had the most peaceful death of anyone I have ever known. I went out to pick up a rotisserie chicken for her, couldn’t find one, stopped home to check in before driving out further, and while talking to Smaug, realized she had passed away in her sleep while lying right next to him while he was reading. Just drifted off.

This upset Felix a little. He used to ride around on her back. Both were in their 20s; they were the last two pets that went back to our apartment dwelling days.

The next day, General Patters — who was very close to Paige, but never seemed close to Oreo — was not going to let us take her remains for cremation. He stood over her with a very determined and angry look (and Patters never got angry). Patters was 14, and while he’d been treated for a thyroid condition for several years, was otherwise doing quite well.

I spent the summer immersed in research about the silmarils to write the paper I presented at Oxonmoot. Both Patters and Felix kept me company. Also, an outdoor cat had brought her kittens into our yard not long after Oreo passed, and following cat conversation through the door between herself and Patters. Patters began to insist on outside time, where I would take him out and hold him while he watched the kittens playing. (Patters was himself a stray cat for a number of years.)

Near the end of September, he suddenly dropped weight and didn’t want to eat; we rushed him to the vet. Blood was drawn, though the vet was not hopeful, as she discovered a huge lump on his thyroid. The next morning I could tell he was still not well. He wanted to be held, and died in my arms that afternoon.

Two days later, I came home to find Felix on the bottom of his cage. He had suffered a stroke. He had had seizures over the past few years, but the vet had told me that for a lovebird of his years, he was doing quite remarkable (he was born in April of 2000). I nursed him in a special ‘hospital cage’ beside my bed for a little over a week. He showed improvement; two days before he passed, we watched Judge Judy together, and he made some artwork. He had a subsequent stroke late the next evening. I sat up with him until 3am, when we both tried for sleep; he woke me four hours later, and I can’t share the details even now because it’s quite painful to have a pet who can communicate and to know and understand and to try to comfort them when they also know and understand what’s happening on a level different from cats and dogs. I don’t think I can ever again own a pet that can communicate with words we both understand. He was an absolute joy, and it’s of importance to know that when I adopted him (and his mate, Oscar, who passed way some six years ago), it was because he chose me — by flying out of his cage and perching on my shoulder, and that was where he often was when I was at home (unless he was riding Oreo around).

We also lost the photogenic neighborhood cat, Cthulhu. Cthulhu was a stunning longhair cat who would take walks with neighbors, pose for photos, and was generally the mayor of the neighborhood. I spoke with Cthulhu’s owner once, who explained that Cthulhu was a cat who wanted to be out during the day to basically wander about and greet everyone. A jellicle in every sense. I don’t know the details, but Cthulhu had a very adventurous life.

So where is the happy in all this?

We went from having the oldest group of pets we’ve had (two 20+ year old pets at the same time seemed remarkable, with one nearly making it to 25), to the youngest group of pets.

But for the loss of the others we would not have gained three baby animals.

This is Priscilla Licoricewhiskers, a 4H bunny who was too tiny to be shown. She couldn’t be kept with the other buns because they ganged up on her. She is getting to live her best life as a spoiled rabbit. (Potty training is still a bit work in progress.)

And this is Pollux…

…and Castor. (I can’t get photos of them out of the enclosure yet because they are into running up and down the stairs). Our vet’s office assistant called us a few days after Patters passed away—in fact, his remains were still there awaiting cremation when she called us. Someone arrived with four abandoned kittens, three weeks only, but they only wanted to keep two, and the no kill shelters were all beyond capacity. We brought them home to foster them (but we all know what happened next). And now they live here rent free, as cats do.

So yesterday I finally went through and memorialized pet accounts because I got a bunch of cyber Monday messages with ‘great deals’ for pets who don’t have use of all the things being offered.

And today, I am trying to figure out where the hell I left off on fanfiction because with the exception of a couple S&D things I have done nothing for six months with fanfic.

#pet eulogies #princess paige #General patters #Oreo the cat #Felix the lovebird #new pets #2024 kind of fucking sucked #fanfic hiatus

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jeffrey1010bce · 6 months ago

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Been a long day, I tried to study for my Anatomy and Physiology test to 3am, hit the bed and watched some vinland saga and woke up back at 5:30 for my Pharmacy Tech class..felt sooo dead but we made it through.

Did some SAT Reading & Writing practice around that time, saw some improvements and whatnot, I just hope I can be able to do this effectively everyday, and be able to eat healthier also

Trying a new meal btw, fried rice with broccoli and beef, we working on the potatoes portion of the meal but so far that sounds like a meal plan that could fit me.

I genuinely hope one day I can make it in this world, and I hope god guides me through this journey because as tough as things seem right now, (2 hours of sleep, not understanding what my Pre-Calculus teacher is talking about when explaing Vertical and Horizontal asymptote) it’s only getting harder from here on out man. Pharmacist or not, I need the money

This song been my song of the week though, randomly heard it and I was like “Ay this one of those generational songs that they talk about is on Blond”. Me personally, I was trying to take it slow and listen to channel, ORANGE because, I just finished listening to nostalgia, ULTRA and it gravitated towards me so much that I just love it. But this song Nights is different, the first part of the song and instrumental and it just switching on the second part, that’s actually like amazing.

If I post this, let us hope I don’t sleep, and if I do, I hope I wake up again to tell myself the same thing the next day or later today

#Spotify #on repeat

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judeswhore · 2 years ago

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can u please write something abt stealing jude’s hoodies or just wearing his clothes in general 🫠

this has been in my inbox since DECEMBER and i was clearing it out so i just thought i’d post a little something since i’ve had a lot of people ask

this is kinda short and shit but anyway <3

it had become a somewhat subconscious habit at this point. reaching into jude's wardrobe, fingers automatically finding a piece of clothing that was definitely his, whether it be a shirt, a hoodie, sometimes even a pair of his joggers, and slipping it on without even a seconds thought. you'd stopped asking forever ago, had simply adopted the attitude that his clothes were yours so much so that now you sometimes did forget which things didn't belong to you.

not that jude minded, there was nothing he adored more than seeing you kitted out in his things. his tummy turned to mush and the smile on his face almost hurt whenever he spotted you in one of his hoodies, finger tips just peaking out from the sleeves. he liked it even more when you worked the hoodie he was already wearing, off him, fingers tugging at the hem, pulling and giggling until he was slipping it over his head. before he even had the chance to get excited you were undressing him for other reasons, you were pulling it on yourself, head popping out from the hole with that devious grin, chin tipping down so you could tuck your nose away in the collar and breathe him in.

"how do you keep them so soft?" jude would roll his eyes, arms wrapping around you to pull you into his chest, defeated to the fact he'd most likely lose the hoodie for a while. he'd get it back eventually, when it had lost his scent and it's softness, when you found something else of his you liked more and then the cycle would continue.

your tendency to never wear your own things meant jude wasn't at all surprised when you met him at the airport after his flight back to dortmund, your entire outfit one he was certain he'd wore only days before leaving you. he knew for sure the blue hoodie was his, it was relatively new and he distinctly remembered your chastising tone over how much it had cost. the joggers too he was certain belonged in his drawer, grey and a little washed out, rolled a few times at your ankles to make them fit. despite the distance still between you he had a sneaky feeling that the blue socks on your feet were his too, his head shaking as his lips tilted into a smile.

it was almost 3am and he could tell you were tired, face soft and a little clouded with sleep as though you'd not long since woke up, your body bouncing lazily on the balls of your feet. you hadn't spotted him yet, too busy watching a family reunite with their dad, a hand written card most definitely done by the two little boys being waved in the air.

"you've never shown up with one of those for me." his voice startled you, your look of shock turning quickly to a grin, eyes lighting up as the sleepy expression cleared instantly. you practically launched yourself at him, arms around his neck, face tucked away against his throat and his soft "umph" of surprise vibrated through you. a giggled apology was pressed into his skin, lips warm and comforting. "missed me?"

"maybe just a little." jude dropped his bag to the floor beside you so he could wind his arms around your waist, his head turning so he could press a kiss to the side of yours. he grinned into your hair.

"only a little?"

"mhm."

"you sure? because i'm kind of thinking you've tried to clone me." you untucked your face from the crook of his neck, head tilted back to meet his gaze, brows drawn together in confusion. one of his hands came up and tugged at the drawstring of the hoodie you were wearing, his smirk growing. "i'm sure this belongs to me."

you glanced down, brows smoothing over, lips parting and jude was certain you hadn't even realised what exactly you were wearing. he brushed his fingertips beneath the waistband of the joggers, blew out a breathy laugh when your eyes snapped back to his. "these as well are from my drawer and i'm sure those are a pair of socks your nan got me for christmas." you shuffled your feet and sent him a sheepish smile.

"they're the first things i grabbed."

"yeah?"

"i didn't even realise."

"i think you just missed me too much."

"they were at the top of the laundry pile."

"you can admit it, don't go all shy on me, baby." jude watched your eye roll and grinned, dipped his head to kiss you for the first time, soft and sweet before nudging your nose. his smile only grew wider when you tried to chase his mouth for more, lips turning pouty when he dodged your attempted kisses. "i bet you've raided my entire wardrobe haven't you?"

“have not.”

“what’re you wearing under these?” again the very tips on his fingers dipped into the back of your joggers and he watched your nose scrunch adorably, gaze shifting away from his. you dropped your arms from around his neck and instead pushed them around his waist, pressing into him until your chin was pressed into the front of his shirt. jude grinned and switched positions with you, his arms resting loose over your shoulders.

“your clothes are so much comfier than mine.”

“you’re lucky you’re pretty.” he cupped your jaw, ducked down and tilted your mouth up to slot softly over his. he kissed you slow, languid drags of his lips against yours until the both of you were breathless. he kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, the tip of your nose, forehead last before grinning. he pulled the hood up over your head and twisted the drawstrings around fingers, pulled tight until your face was hidden behind the material.

you groaned loudly, swatted at his chest when he again kissed your nose through the little gap.

“you’re also lucky i think it’s cute when you wear my clothes otherwise you’d owe me thousands for theft.”

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham fluff #sinclaiirs baby blurbs #leigh’s baby blurbs

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x3kristax3 · 3 years ago

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Part 10

I wake up on the couch " ugh how long have I been asleep" I say as I look at my phone and see all the texts from everyone then I look at the time and realize it's 3am.

All my friends have already heard I'm leaving and mad but I see the texts from the group text one from Dan stands out we miss you too doesn't feel the same i smile then realized i didn't see Jake's text at all. My heart breaks a little then i hear a knock on my door.

I got scared as I didn't let anyone in. I get up and look out my peephole and see Jake. I open the door and wrap my arms around him.

"Oh my God you came out here cause of my text" I say as I pull him inside

"Well I came because I couldn't imagine 2 weeks without you and I knew you would be lonely"

"How did you find my address?... wait nevermind that it is you" I laugh

"You have a lot of energy for it being 3am"

"Well I sent those texts and passed out on my couch I haven't even changed yet" I say realizing i'm in the same clothes he last saw me in.

"Hey, it's okay. How did your friends take the news?"

I sigh "they think i'm joking. They also keep trying to get me back with my ex I walked away from them twice cause I realize how force it all was"

"Its okay you have friends who love you" he says as he yawns

"Lets get your bags in and go to sleep"

We go into my bedroom area and after we both get changed we crawl into bed

"This bed better be coming with you its comfy" he says

I laugh "yep it is. Goodnight" I say to him

********

I wake up and the clock reads 8am. Jake is still sleeping and I get out of bed. I grab a post it note and write i will be back. Went to get coffee - xoxo Krista

I put it on the nightstand by his phone.

I jump in the shower real fast and get dressed. He's still asleep so I throw on a pair of sneakers and walk down the street and grab us too coffee's hot for him.

I get back up and he's still sleeping. I remove the note and go into my closet and start packing up my clothes I don't wear much.

I hear my phone go off and I look and it's Jessy

I answer it " hey jessy"

"Um we have a problem. Jake is missing. I hadn't heard from him since you left and I was worried so I drove over to his place and his Jeep is there but I found the spare key and he's not there. I don't know where he went. "

I smile on video chat and laugh a little

"Krista, I'm serious Dan, tell her" she flips the phone.

"She telling the truth Krista"

"Guys I'm laughing cause he's in my bed. At 3am he showed up."

"But it hasn't been 2 weeks" says Jessy

"Well he didn't want to wait and after my lack of people I thought was my friend's excitement for me to be doing something I love. I got so many hate texts that him showing up was what I needed. So no need to worry but I'm gonna go before I wake him up"

"Okay bye Krista" says Jessy as she hangs up.

As she does the doorbell rings

I walk out of the closet and I see it woke Jake up

"Sorry I have no idea who is here" I say looking out the door and seeing my ex.

"Please just go away Jeff, it's over" I says through the door.

"Please let me in and we can talk this through."

Jake gets up "who's at the door?" He asks

"My ex" I say

"Let him in" Jake says

I open the door and Jeff sees Jake standing behind me

"You can't be serious? It's only been a month" Jeff say

"Yep and we were only together for 2 weeks there wasn't anything there" I say as Jake walks right behind me and wraps his arm around me as he shuts the door.

"I say that I took care of him" he laughs "but seriously you tried to date when I ghosted you?"

"Yeah I didn't know what was gonna happen and wasn't going to wait around but you see what ended up on my doorstep" I say rolling my eyes. "Oh theres a coffee on the counter for you" I say

"Thanks so here's to packing up this apartment. How long have you been living here?" He ask as he looks around

" 5 years… we're gonna need some moving things all I have is purses, suitcases, and overnight bags which my clothes will fit into"

After breakfast we head out and get boxes

#duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood

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goldenpixel · 4 years ago

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The scene with Wilbur in Quackity’s latest lore stream made me Think some Thoughts, and I wanted to get all of my SBI family headcanons together in one place, so here’s this post

First thing, this is their age order:

Philza -> Techno/Wilbur -> Tubbo -> Ranboo -> Tommy

- Techno and Wilbur were born on the same day, so most of the family refers to them as “the twins” but they are not blood related

- Philza did not know how old Techno was when they were ruling the Antarctic Empire, he thought that Techno was around 21 when he was actually around 14-16

- this is a fact that haunts Phil to this day, because he committed a massive amount of war crimes with an actual child, and also for reasons that will soon become very clear

Philza and Techno

- they’re married

- they got married with them each thinking that the other was close to their own age (Phil thought Techno was in his early 20’s, Techno thought Phil was in his late teens)

- for more on their marriage, check out this post

- despite Techno and Wilbur being the same age, Techno is mentally much older due to his past and his general status as the Blood God

- Phil did most of the work raising the older kids, but Techno did his fair share, and you can definitely see his influence when you look at the kid’s behaviors

- both of them are immortal

- Techno is a new immortal, the Blood God has only just come into existence, but he isn't leaving anytime soon

- Philza is an old immortal, he was there when the world was born, and he'll be there when it dies

Wilbur

- Wilbur and Philza are the only blood relatives in the whole family

- as much as he loves him, Wilbur has always been a bit bitter towards Techno, because when they were teenagers, Techno was off ruling and adventuring and having fun with Phil during the AE, and Wil was left home with a young Tommy to look after

- Wilbur’s hair is naturally blond, just like Phil and Tommy’s

- no one knows who Wilbur’s mom is (unfortunately mpreg is the norm on this server, so Phil carried him, and he’s got some ideas on who Wil’s mom is, but he honestly doesn’t care enough to look into it)

- Wilbur has wings

- they’re much smaller than Phil’s, he can barely fly with them, but they’re the same color and shape as Phil’s

- because of how fragile his wings are, Wilbur should not technically be able to fly, but he literally sheer force of will-ed it and threw himself off the roof of their house so many times that he can glide when he jumps from high places, and if it’s a really high place, he can get in a few good flaps of his wings to get him some extra distance

- Phil doesn’t learn that Wilbur can semi-fly/glide until one day they’re off adventuring together and Wil is being dramatic and theatrical and walking backwards while he talks, and he falls off a cliff

Tommy

- Tommy has been with them since he was a few days old

- because of his light features, most people assume that he is Phil’s son by blood, and he just didn’t inherit the wings

- (at ages 10 and 16, Tommy and Wilbur did the blood-brothers handshake where they cut their palms and then shook hands, so if you ask them, they’re blood brothers through and through)

- Techno taught Tommy how to sew

- Tommy is a young god, but he hasn’t grown into most of his powers yet

- Tommy is a god of death, the future Death himself, Kristen is his mother

- (this is how Phil comes into possession of him. Phil, being the Angel of Death, was really the only reasonable choice when it came to Death herself finding someone to raise her son)

- Tommy has light features, even though Mumza has dark features, because she purposefully made him out of the light, she wanted him to be good and kind, so she created him from the literal light that you see when you're dying

- because he was born from the actual moment of death, despite Tommy's eyes being blue, they hold the void itself in them

- if you look too closely into Tommy's eyes, it can be easy to lose yourself and fall right in

- sometimes Mumza comes to visit, these are very bittersweet moments for Tommy

- he loves his mom, and he loves seeing her and seeing Phil happy to see her, and she usually takes him along on her next trip, ever so slowly teaching him how to be Death, but he also hates that that is his future

- he doesn't want to be the next Death, he doesn't want to outlive all of his friends and his brother, he just wants to be normal

- because of this, Tommy represses pretty much all of his godly powers, trying to seem as normal as possible, the one he represses the most is his automatic healing, when he gets hurt, he wants to stay hurt

- he represses everything so well that its years before Tubbo finds out that his best friend is a god

Ranboo

- Techno raised Ranboo more than Phil did

- (because of this, he’s the only kid who actually views Techno as his father. Despite him literally being their stepdad, the others see Techno as more of a brother or an uncle)

- Techno found Ranboo when he was around 12 years old on the edge of a warped forest in the nether (if you want some more nether-boys hc’s, check out this post)

- at that age, Ranboo hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet due to malnutrition, so he was much smaller than the average human 12 year old, and everyone thought he was around 8-10 (because of his memory issues, Ranboo thought the same thing until Tommy kept pestering him about when his birthday was and he remembered the year)

- Ranboo is brought into the family when he’s 12, Tommy is 11, and Wilbur and Techno are 17

- as I said before, Techno may have been 17 when he took in Ranboo, but he was definitely a father to this anxious amnesiac preteen

- because of his height, Ranboo is constantly slouching to fit through doorways, inside houses, and to make himself appear smaller, so he grows to need a cane

Tubbo (and Dream)

- street cat

- they fed him once and he just kept coming back

- sometimes he’ll disappear for a few weeks, but he always turns up eventually

- boy’s got some family issues, some real bad family issues

- his dad is Schlatt, who left him and big brother Dream to fend for themselves when he and Dream were 6 and 11

- luckily Dream has an excellent sense of direction and memory, and got them to Aunt Puffy’s current port before she pushed off on her next adventure (but not before getting briefly separated and making some friends)

- (the few weeks they spend separated are when Tubbo first gets found by Wilbur and Tommy and forcibly adopted by Phil, and Bad lures Dream home with food and he meets Sapnap)

- both boys have ram features - floppy ears, horns, etc., Dream also inherited their Aunt Puffy's rainbow hair (he dyes it blonde semi-regularly. It's dyed when he meets sbi, and Wilbur and Techno have the exact same reaction to it when they finally see his natural hair: relentless teasing. Like father like son amiright?)

- Tubbo and Dream are half brothers (same dad, different moms), Tubbo is 1/2 ram and 1/2 human, Dream is 1/2 human, 1/4 ram, and 1/4 what he and Sapnap think is demon (basically Dream had a human-ram hybrid dad, and a human-demon(?) hybrid mom)

- when Tubbo introduces Dream to his new brother-in-law, Dream feels a bit of a kindred spirit, but he quickly brushes it off

- Dream spends most of his time either with Bad, Skeppy, and Sapnap, or on the sea with Puffy, so Tubbo mostly fends for himself

- Tubbo is more than happy to fend for himself, he actually prefers it most of the time. He doesn't like people fussing over him and sheltering him, so whenever his mood switches and he decides that he does, actually, want some family time, he just appears on sbi’s front porch

- Tubbo first meets Ranboo when he comes to visit after a few months away. No one told him that Tommy was with Mumza for the weekend, so when he arrived at 3am, 2 days before he told Phil he’d be there, he just let himself in and threw himself on top of the sleeping figure in Tommy’s bed, only to be met with a startled enderman screech that woke the whole house

- (Ranboo was in Tommy’s bed because he might not be a part of the official Clingy Duo, but the boy is as clingy as they come. He regularly sleeps in his family’s beds, both when they’re home and when they’re away, because his sense of smell is heightened as an enderman and he needs to be surrounded in their scent when he misses them or when he’s feeling sad (especially because these are the only scents he knows, he doesn’t remember any of the scents from before Techno found him))

Big brothers being friends

- one day, after Tubbo’s near-constant raving about how great the Minecraft family is, Dream agrees to visit with him

- this visit happens to fall during the AE, so the only ones home are Wilbur and Tommy

- Dream and Wilbur take one look at each other and their similar situations in raising their chaotic, problem-child little brothers, and never let go

- the four of them live together for a good 5-6 months before Dream gets a letter and he and Tubbo need to leave

- after this visit, Dream and Wilbur stay in contact, and they visit each other even without their brothers around to drag them along

- I know I said that Wilbur makes fun of Dream for dying his hair, but that’s only in public

- in private, Wilbur confesses to Dream that he also dyes his hair, that his hair is naturally blond and he dyes it darker. After this, Dream and Wilbur start dying their hair together, it becomes something scheduled that they both look forward to immensely each month

- the next time Dream and Tubbo visit together, Wilbur is off with a water spirit who stole his heart (I refuse to write about fish Sally, fight me), and Phil is showing Ranboo some cool builds in his current hardcore world, so it's Techno and Tommy who welcome them in

- Techno starts out pretty hesitant of Dream, but Dream almost instantly is like

- "I'm gonna annoy the blood god into being my best friend"

- and whatever Dream sets his mind to, he achieves

- so the visit sort of ends with Dream and Techno making Tommy and Tubbo promise not to burn the house down, and leaving them home alone to go off to cause some chaos together

Father/son relationships

- As I said earlier, Phil primarily raised Wilbur and Tommy, and Techno primarily raised Ranboo, with Tubbo coming in and out like a feral cat

- to Wilbur and Tommy, Techno is more of a cool uncle who brings them valuable trinkets from his adventures, and they want to be like him one day

- Ranboo and Phil’s relationship is almost exactly the same as Wilbur and Tommy’s relationship with Techno

- when Techno brought Ranboo home, Phil pretty much decided that he had his hands full enough with raising his two chaotic boys, and he declared that it was finders-keepers, Techno found Ranboo, so he gets to raise him

- after L’Manburg, Ghostbur and Phil learn sign language, because the explosion blew out Phil’s hearing in his left ear, and Ghostbur’s so soft-spoken that it’s sometimes really difficult for him to hear his son speaking

For more random hc’s I have about these characters and the characters of the smp in general, check out this post

Some quick tags for people who commented on my post asking who wants this post, thanks for the support guys :’) @anotherweirdohere @haveadayasgreatasyou @jupiterjordan

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footballfanfictions · 4 years ago

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The thrill of the chase - Chapter Three

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Authors Note: Apologies again for how long this has taken to write, life has been absolutely manic the last couple of weeks. As always, I hope you enjoy this and feedback is gratefully received.

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He’s pinning me down against the bed, leaning over me. His hands are everywhere, touching and caressing me wherever he can reach and his mouth is on my neck, sucking a patch of skin to mark me.

My hands are in his hair and I’m tugging at it to get him to look at me, so that I can connect our mouths again, but when I pull his face to mine, it isn’t Ben anymore. It’s Rory.

I wake up from the fantasy in a cold sweat, my bed sheet stuck to my slick back and my pyjama top crumpled. I put my head into my hands and sob quietly. I’m not crying because I’ve had some sex dream about a footballer that snogged me. I’m crying because once again, I*’m thinking about my ex boyfriend and it’s becoming obsessive.

I sit up in bed and find myself checking his social media. His facebook has him check in to some fancy hotel in the Cotswolds with his girlfriend. They had met not long after we broke up. In fact, the gap between us breaking up and them supposedly meeting was so slim that it made me wonder if he had been talking to her before we called it quits. I had no proof of that of course, but that didn’t make me feel any better about any of it. I imagined the two of them sharing a bed together in their hotel room, enjoying the comfort of sleeping next to someone. It had been so long that I barely remembered what that felt like.

I almost texted Bri, she would have been happy to talk even if I woke her, but I wasn’t quite ready to share what I had been thinking about recently. It would be hypocritical of Bri to judge me for thinking about Rory when all she went on about at the moment was making her ex jealous. That made me think of Billy and how much he liked her. I had this awful feeling that if he did ask Bri out that she would use it as an opportunity and not give him a fair chance. Billy did not deserve to be used like that.

I ran my fingers through my damp hair and collected it into a ponytail, tying it with the band that I had kept around my wrist since letting my hair down before bed. I had this weird habit that whenever I was feeling stressed, needed to really concentrate on something or make a decision, I would always tie my hair up. Rory had always thought it was nuts. I had noticed from their instagram pictures that his girlfriend never really wore her hair up. I always called her that, his girlfriend because giving her a name would make her feel real, and maybe there was a part of me that didn’t want her to be real and still clung onto the idea that we were just on a break, exploring our careers and travelling only to come back together again, get married and have three kids and a dog.

My parents had tried really hard to hide their devastation when I told them about the break up, telling me that there were plenty more fish in the sea and that the timing just wasn’t right for me to meet someone. They had then of course both reminisced about their university partners which had led to a row when my dad spoke about his university girlfriend Mandy a little bit too fondly.

I stared down at my phone, deciding that I needed a distraction, and the best distraction was work. I logged out of my own instagram account and clicked on the first saved profile in my list. It was the player that I had been posting for the other day before Billy had his accident. I checked his recent posts and likes and nothing seemed to be out of place, except perhaps for the fact that it was around 3am and he was getting regular messages, the name Sam appearing on my screen once again. By this point in my maddened, ex-stalking state I will admit that I was curious. I clicked the icon that took me to his inbox and began to read.

They were conversing about his impending separation from his wife and about how they couldn’t wait to be together. I felt like throwing up in my mouth that one of the players that I worked with would behave like that, although I hadn’t really met this player in particular. His name was Jorginho and he was known as somewhat of a joker. I kept out of his way for that very reason, not being a big fan of practical jokes and pranks.

I was about to close his inbox when another message came in.

What do we do about Ben?

I blinked and re-read the message several times. Ben?

What on earth could Ben have to do with Jorginho cheating on his wife and leaving her for this woman, I wondered.

I clicked on her profile then and scrolled back through her pictures. She was a stunning brunette and her posts were mainly bikini pictures with the odd paid promotion thrown in here and there. I scrolled until a picture stopped me dead in my tracks. It was a picture of her with Ben, both smiling into the camera, their arms around each other and a caption that read ‘my everything’.

There were a few more pictures of them together and it was very evident that she had once been Ben’s girlfriend. At first I felt a bit numb, then I felt a pang of jealousy, and then I felt angry that she was conducting an affair with one of his team mates right under his nose and probably planning on lying to him about it.

I didn’t know what to do with this information.

He never has to know. I’m spending one more season here then my contract expires and we can go anywhere.

I read his response, that confirmed what I feared. They were going to sneak around and hide this from Ben, probably until the divorce was finalised and then they would disappear off to another country and Ben would be left to read about it in the press. Unless i did something about it.

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I had a meeting with Marina this morning. She commented that I seemed really distracted and I commented that I needed content other than Mason Mount to post onto social media. Marina had laughed and said that he was increasing our social media engagement and that we had new fans and shirt sales as a result of his appeal. I muttered something rude under my breath about what I thought about his appeal.

Marina and I had a really good working relationship and could banter with each other whilst still acting professionally and having a great deal of respect.

We had decided that I could capture my own content for our social media whenever I liked and would be provided with equipment such as a camera to enable me to. I had agreed to this to get me out of just posting Mason, but it did mean extra work for me, doubling up on the job of the club photographer and that I would need to spend more time outside on the pitches with the players, something I wasn’t sure I particularly fancied doing.

I hadn’t spoken to Ben since he kissed me, and now I felt even worse about it because I had been thinking about Rory, and had discovered that his ex and his team mate were sleeping together.

It was only the first of September, but I had started thinking about content for Halloween and maybe even thanks giving as we now had an American player at the club.

I was just messing around with different shades of orange in photoshop when there was a knock on my office door.

I got up from my desk slowly, silently praying that it wouldn’t be Ben because I couldn’t face him without blurting out the secret.

Instead I had the displeasure of opening the door to find Mason Mount stood there.

“What do you want?” I sighed.

“God you are sunshine and rainbows this morning. You look like you haven’t slept.” he said grinning. He was trying to make me laugh by jokingly insulting me and then cupped my face with his hands and started to stroke beneath my eyes with his thumbs. I was about to ask him what the bloody hell he was doing when he said “just smoothing out the wrinkles”.

I shook him off and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Sorry.” he mumbled.

I let him in then rather than the two of us just standing in the door way. He walked over to my desk and perched on the end exactly like Ben had done before he had kissed me. Except surely Mason wasn’t going to do that.

“What can I help you with?” I asked, trying my best to be polite to him. He had tried after all to make me laugh. It wasn’t his fault that I was so worried about everyone and everything else going on around here.

“I have a bit of a problem. My girlfriend is in this girl band and they are doing a music video next week that she wants me to be in so that they can get more views. The thing is, I’m not sure it really fits with my brand.” he explained, looking down at his shoes and the carpet, his eyes darting back up to me every few seconds while I considered a response.

“Well footballers have been in music videos before without it affecting any of their sponsorship or brand deals.” I responded, thinking about the music video Fernando Torres had been in for a spanish band years ago.

“Maybe it’s not my image i’m necessarily worried about. I feel a bit used but don’t know how to tell her.” as he spoke he looked vulnerable for the first time and the cheekiness was all gone.

“So if I’m getting this right, they’re a band kind of breaking through and you being in the video would get them a lot of views and might get them really famous. Don’t you want your girlfriend to be successful?” as I asked him, he looked thoughtful, and then sad.

“I don’t really want to be with someone that now only wants me because I’m famous, and wants to leech fame from me.” he shrugged.

I remembered the rant I had at him about how privileged he was for being rich and famous at such a young age, but I now started to consider that it must come with some drawbacks like not knowing if the people closest to you actually like you for who you are or if they want to use you for fame and fortune.

“Well if you like, if they ask us for permission I will say no and that i need you for one of our campaigns whenever it is scheduled for and that it’s non negotiable because the club pays your wages.” He grinned and hopped off the edge of the desk.

He made to step towards me but I held out my hand to stop him.

“No need to thank me.”

He nodded and proceeded to head towards my office door. I stopped him just before he grabbed the handle by saying “Can I give you some advice? I don’ think that you should be with someone like that either.”

Without turning back to me, he sighed and responded “I don’t think that you should be with someone like Ben Chilwell”.

Before I could say anything else in response he opened the door and left

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By lunchtime my brain was completely scrambled. I had busied myself with my idea for a thanksgiving tribute to Christian Pulisic the American player and planned special catering for the day to include a full turkey dinner in the canteen for him. That would of course give me the perfect opportunity for a post about how we are so thankful for him and want to make him feel at home. Marina would love it.

I thought about hiding in my office until everyone returned to their jobs or their training and then going to the canteen, but I knew if I did that there would surely be no food left.

I was just loading my tray up with small items from the tapas menu when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Looking over it, I saw that it was Billy. His smile was 50-watt and could light up any room.

“Hey Billy, are you okay?” I asked him.

“Oh yes.” he nodded. “I’ve got a plan to ask ye friend out. Wanted to run it by you if you’re free?”

I looked around and most of the tables were free so I agreed and said we could sit together and talk about it over lunch and that maybe Bri would join us if there wasn’t some kit emergency keeping her away. He smiled at that.

We sat down at a table by the window, a nice amount of sunshine came through it which warmed my back and the back of my neck nicely.

Billy went off immediately into explaining his plan to ask Bri out. He was going to have one of the lads accidentally rip his training shirt during the morning session so that he would have an excuse to go and see her.

“Hang on - tell me what day you’re planning this and I can distract her dad for a bit.” I interjected.

“Already got that covered sweetheart. He’s on a conference all of next week!” he grinned.

I looked puzzled and he laughed at the expression I was pulling. What kind of conference would a kit man need to go to? Were they brining out a new range or under armor or something like that?

“I know it sounds mad.”

“It doesn’t just sound mad, it sounds like a good opportunity, go on.”I encouraged him.

He was going to fill one of the old unused offices with flowers and somehow convince Bri that she needed to follow him there so that he could ask her. It was so sweet and completely something that Bri would go for so I told him that his plan sounded brilliant and that I would help him in any way possible.

“I’m going to get her thinking about you in preparation you know.” I said, showing Billy a freshly edited picture of him on my phone screen that I was planning on posting that afternoon when I got back to my desk. “This beauty is going on all our social media pages. By the way, why did you never tell me that you used to model?”

He blushed bright scarlet when I brought up his modelling career and then we both descended into fits of laughter over it.

“You’re a really good friend, you know” he smiled. “If I can call you that.”

“Of course I’m your friend Billy.” I agreed.

“Well seeing as we are now best pals, do ye want to tell me what’s on your mind?” he asked.

I gulped, my mouth and throat suddenly feeling dry and uncomfortable. I couldn’t tell him what I had learnt about Jorginho, but maybe I could at least be honest about Rory.

“I had a really bad break up about a year ago and it’s still bothering me. Just you know, seeing other people happy and wondering what could have been.” I shrugged, trying to seem not fussed. I was bothered though and talking about it made the pain in my chest when I thought about him that little bit worse. I felt tears threatening to form.

Billy put his hand over mine and squeezed it.

“If you’re still following him or still friends on facebook, you need to delete him so that you can move on. Do you want me to do it for you?” he offered, holding his hand out to me for my phone.

Billy was right, I needed to let go of the part of me that still missed Rory, the part that felt jealous every time I saw what he was up to, and I could never get over that while it was accessible to me.

I gave Billy my phone and told him Rory’s social media names even though he was the top person in all of my search history.

“Oh Katie, I’m sorry. It can’t have been nice to see him announce his engagement on here.” he said sympathetically.

It took a second for my brain and heart to catch up with each other and I felt sick to my stomach as I ask him to repeat himself.

I hadn’t heard him wrong and he showed me the post. I must have missed it by being so preoccupied with Ben’s situation. He had taken her to that fancy hotel in the Cotswolds to propose to her. Their grinning faces staring back at me from the picture didn’t feel like people I knew anymore.

“That’s that then. The end of that chapter of my life, officially.” I scraped my hair back and tied it up quickly.

“He’s gone from your virtual life too now.” Billy said, passing the phone back to me.

“Thank you.” I said quietly.

It’s hard to describe how you feel the second your hope for something shatters. The reality was that Rory was never going to realise that he had made a mistake and come back to me, because the reality was that we weren’t the same people we had been when we had first met at university and we had genuinely drifted apart. I could point the finger and blame him for possibly cheating, sure, but what good would that do me? Truth is we weren’t meant to be together and he hadn’t made a mistake. He had done the right thing to lead him to the person that he was supposed to be with. I just wished that I didn’t feel this way. I was sure that if I had moved on and met someone else my reaction would have been different. I might even have congratulated him.

That evening I went home and cracked open a bottle of wine, and once I reached the bottom of it I cried myself to sleep.

#the thrill of the chase #mason mount #ben chilwell #ben chilwell fanfiction #mason mount fanfiction #football fanfiction

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shattered-gothic-doll · 4 years ago

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I have yet to write about this here on my tumblr as this was the first time I had been honestly punished by @dolls-daddy-dom. I messed up... in truth I had messed up twice big time. With Daddy and I living separately I have two Big Rules I am supposed to follow. The first being that I post a minimum of once a week in my sub journal. This allows Daddy to see where my mind is, how I am feeling about us, about what's going on around me, and if I am stressed or not. I tend to avoid telling Him things subconsciously as I do not want to put more on His plate than He already has, or I tend to minimize my feelings thinking them not important, until things get so bad I fall apart. I write better than I tend to speak so a journal was a better way to let Daddy see what is going on with His Doll. The second rule is that no matter what is going on, unless it is an emergency or very important I am to make sure to talk to Him on the phone before He goes to work. This is "Our Time". Since Daddy's hours changed at work we don't get to have time to talk on the phone a lot or spend time together gaming like we used to. Our time has shortened considerably and it is just as hard on Him as it is me. It is our time to keep communication open and to enjoy that moment of connection that we otherwise would not have till we see each other again. I broke both these rules.

The journal I broke as I allowed myself to get too busy and then enjoyed time gaming instead of writing. It wasn't purposefully done, but I realized that when I got back from visiting Him that it had been two weeks since my last journal entry. I hadn't even realized it. I had been so busy getting back into my usual schedule that I hadn't even noticed until I was making a journal entry. I knew that Daddy would be calling me out on this, and I was fully prepared to accept the punishment. The only thing I didn't realize was that I was going to screw up on a bigger rule.

I missed Daddy's call...

It was partially my fault and partially my Mother's. I was just getting ready to be situated to relax and talk to Him when she decided she wanted me to go ahead and start yams for sweet potato pies and prepping the candied yams. I also ended up starting the collard greens. Throughout all this cooking what I failed to realize is I left my phone in the bedroom. By the time I figured it out, it was already 12, Daddy was already in work, and He had called twice and text me several times. I immediately text Him apologizing for me, and my Mom who is fully aware of my lifestyle, but I knew I would not be getting out of punishment. I kept texting most of the night going from feeling horrible to outright panic. He was not texting me back. All I could do to keep from falling apart was remind myself that He was busy at work. I finally got a text from Him at almost 3am. He had been busy at work. He wasn't upset... it was worse... He was "Disappointed, but I understand because you were helping your Mom." So, no date set for a spanking, but He was disappointed which is way way worse than any spanking I could get.

My punishment was delivered at 8:20 in the morning after He was home and had showered for bed, which means He used that time to think about how to handle this. I was sleep, but woke soon as the text came across, and my heart dropped. "I made it home safely Doll... As for your punishment... you and I will not talk, text, or communicate for 24hrs (unless you have an emergency or something very important to discuss)... you can respond to this message to let me know you received it, but we will not have any form of communication after that until 0820 hours on Thursday November 26... Hopefully this will let you know the importance of me talking to you before work... love you Doll." I immediately had tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat, and heartache of not being able to talk to Him, to check on Him at work or anything, but still I accepted my fate.

After responding I passed out again after crying myself to sleep, then got up and had to stop myself from texting Him. Throughout the day I had this same problem as I cooked for Thanksgiving. My mood was so down, and my Mom tried to help and it did a little, but I spent the entire day being reminded of Him even in movies we watched. I kept wanting to text Him my cooking accomplishments, kept wanting to share things with Him, etc. When 9pm came around I immediately thought that He was getting ready for work, 10pm He was leaving the house. I kept looking for a text, mentally begging for some kind of message that He was at work safely, that He missed me, something... I got nothing. I was so upset and frustrated then I realized this is how Daddy felt. This is why talking is so important so we don't feel this way. I poured everything I was feeling in the journal since I couldn't talk to Him.

I fought hard to stay awake until 8:20, but all the crying I had done wore me out and I failed. I didn't talk to Him till 12, even though He messaged me at 8:36am as soon as He got out the shower. We spoke a lot that day and I told Him everything I had felt and I apologized again, and He requested a journal entry on what I learned which I did do. We have recovered and healed and I now know the importance of keeping our routine.

This entry is not about what I learned, but about sharing a horrible experience that may help another Dom/Sub pairing. I am not big on withholding communication as a punishment unless it fits the crime. In my case it did. It allowed me to see what I put my Dom through. I already knew talking to me before work helps Him get through a job He no longer enjoys on a shift He hates, but I didn't comprehend the emotional turmoil I put Him through. Sometimes an extreme measure is needed to get a point across before it becomes too big a problem to save. I have learned my lesson.

-Doll

November 29, 2020

#sccwriting #24/7 d/s #long distance love #d/s love #domestic discipline #forgiveness

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lilpuffyart · 4 years ago

Note

I do not care that it is 3am, I must see Puffy talk about Count The Ways and sudden headcannons about their AU and give them quiet anon support. Take my quiet clapping. *quietly claps bcz its 3am* (-KA)

Okay

You've doomed yourself (a part I did at 3am and the other part I did now at 11am)

!!LONG POST AHEAD!! (Kind reminder that I do love the story but I still like to make fun of some parts)

IN THE FIRST FUCKING LINE, "deep voice" w h e r e where that crackhead energy voice is d e e p. I can accept threatening but d e e p???????????????????

Also I'm still upset that "silly millie" is "millie pamonha (that is a Brazilian food)" in the unofficial Portuguese translation

Second page and we discover millie belongs to the gays when she said "in tribute to the beautiful dead girl from edgar Allan Poe's poem" (she was talking about her cat name and I'm sorry if it's not the correct wording: its 3am and I have a stroke everytime I read some part of the book, also I don't have the English version :c)

Who's Curt Carrion?? Who's he based on??? My Chemical Romance?????? I would prefer if it was Evanescence tho for personal gay reasons ✊😔

Her grandpa has a sword collection and that's pretty neat, but makes me wonder if FunFred ever walked around the house with a fucking sword and everyone was okay with it

Grandpa: you're always so pale

Millie: lmao that's the point

Me 🤝 millie

Liking edgar allan poe

Also Millie's grandpa is millie's mom's dad?? Since he mentions that she would stay outside burning in the sun when she was 14-15yo

Also he's supportive of her disliking meat, we stan an old man ✊😔

THE COOKIES R BACK!!!!!!!! I still think daily about FunFred trying to cook it and messing it up smh even if grandpa is there. Also the fact she ate her grandpa cookies after he left makes me happy fsr

He mentions the workshop 😳😳 is he already aware FunFred is awake?? Who knows 👀👀

I know the timeline doesn't fit, but I like to think Dylan and Millie knew each other for more than a week

FUNFRED!!! LIKES MILLIE!!!!!! WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!!!!!!!

Millie honestly reminds me of when I was on high school and my depression peeked lmao I wanna hug her-

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER IS A GREAT STORY I LOVE IT

I HAVE WAY TOO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW FUNFRED/THE ANIMATRONICS WORK BC OF A DUMB DRAWING I DID 1 YEAR AGO- like oil is the equivalent of blood to them and they do have water inside them, what keeps their mechanisms and stuff working well. Also when they r "sleeping" its extremely quiet, till they "woke up" and slowly their mechanisms do a lot of noise, till it calms down

Funfred has been around before millie moved there, and was probably awoken since then bc he heard her talking SO, from her bedroom window, u can see the workshop bc that's the only way he heard her (and she heard him later on)

Also I KNOW it wasn't like that but when her grandpa asked if the person he met was a boy or a girl I could literally only think "damnn a supportive grandpa, I love him" so that's where I'm goiNG

He mentions he went to university SOOOOOO what IF he and henry went to the same university and both did something related to mechanic/mathematic and that's how they became close friends 👀👀 (I am aware he was a mathematic teacher but he still could have done both or started mechanic, dropped it and started to study mathematic)

Also I lowkey wish we knew what her grandma died of

ALSO I like to think FunFred himself is someone that is scared of doing things himself instead of... just letting things go

I love how, when millie asked if he was going to bite her neck (bc he was talked about Dracula) he just wenT "OH YAY I COULD DO THAT BUT U R IM MY STOMACH" FJFJFJXHXJJCJCGKFJFJFJFJ I HATE HIMMMM

Here we go to FunFred's hyperfixation ✊😔 I'm sure that, whenever millie goes to the library, he begs her to bring some kind of history book

The fact millie doesn't know how to say Chutlu is big gay energy and everyone energy

COUNT THE WAYS AU IS NAMED COUNT THE WAYS BC IT'S THE MANY WAYS FUNFRED LOVES MILLIE AND GRANDPA AND IN THAT ESSAY ILL DIE AND COMBUST

Me, a veterinary student: Hahah I know what's ventricular fibrillation is

Idk why but I like to think millie studied something related to literature in university, but, if she did end up working on a library, I think people would 1. Be creeped out by FunFred 2. Think he's cute, no inbetween

Me 🤝 grandpa

Going somewhere bc it has free food

WHY IS EVERYONE SO MEAN TO HER SHE'S LITERALLY A TEENAGER STOP BEING LIKE THAT WTF???

That part of that party makes me emotional bc something similar happened with me (not related to a s/o other tho)

FunFred is back being a dumbass I love/hate him

Unpopular opinion but I still strongly dislike millie's family

FunFred would buy a guillotine online ngl

In Millie's defense I would crawl inside an animatronic bear as well

POV: you're rob, millie's uncle, and you found out the worst way that she has a bear guard body, in a way (I hate rob honestly lmao)

That was my presentation, thank you for your attention

#anyway i love that silly book about a silly bear and his silly friend #anon #ask #KA #count the ways

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magniloquent-raven · 5 years ago

Note

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.

#elmax #elmax fanfic #stranger things #el hopper #max mayfield #i couldn't resist the little bits about max mourning her brother because im a masochist apparently #if anyone was wondering the earring max is wearing is 100% billy's #and joyce knows neil is The Worst which is why she's concerned about max #making sure he isn't treating her how he used to treat billy #yeah #ALSO #susan being all overprotective?#is because of billy #like. he might not have been her kid but he was something to her yknow?#and now he's gone #and she gotta deal w that somehow #and shes dealing with it by clinging extra hard to the kid she's got left #THAT'S TOO MANY SAD HEADCANONS TO PUT IN ONE FLUFFY SLEEPOVER FIC WHY AM I LIKE THIS #anyway apparently posting my writing is a thing i do now so i need a tag #a raven's writing desk #because i'm real pretentious dont @ me lmao

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ageofevermore · 4 years ago

Note

1-96

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

it’s a dual sliding door, so usually one sides open. but preferably, both doors are closed.

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

sometimes in the summer, not often though.

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes!

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

well for some reason there’s a guy on my TV singing God Bless The USA

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

purple

(6) Relationship Status.

single because my favorite omegle guy won’t answer me

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

48F / 9C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

i woke up wishing i was still asleep

(9) How Many Followers?

835

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sun: Capricorn, Rising: Aries, Moon: Aquarius

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

brown / hazel

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

obviously, i’m not completely insane

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

whatever fucking book my english class assigned...

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

i literally only have a text book by me and opening it is triggering

(16) Favourite Anime?

i don’t watch anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom...about greys anatomy...but still my mom about christmas and my birthday. i cry alot, but i like REALLY cried about those two topics

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

chapstick, trauma, candles

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

it’s only 10am and i haven’t even thought about breakfast

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yes, and then my mom yells at me because i do nothing “subtly” and the entire car shakes

(21) Favourite Animal?

white siberian tigers, snow leopards, dolphins, and now elephants

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

unfortunately. i love gymnastics, but like, i’m not trying to watch men in toboggans and swim caps

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

anywhere between 12pm and 3am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no, i never wear makeup because it makes me look more ugly

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

besides my friends i don’t really have a favorite blog, i stick to my circle and don’t venture very far

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

i couldn’t tell you...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without, but i always start with it on. it never lasts more then two songs.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

a shade of purple from the crayola 200 pack

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

wii

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

hell mothering fucking year i do baby, lets take that train to hogwarts

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

its a friends pj crop, so black and white stripped with the central perks logo

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

save money

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

my cup

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

stranger things ig

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no, those assholes scare me, but i’ve grown + released them

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

um chile, i would follow my best friend off a cliff with no hesitation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fucking time

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ITS MY FAVORITE FORM OF TRAVEL

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the hannah montana movie

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

one direction

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

yes

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yes, but it takes me forever to fall asleep

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

yea, depends on the day and the level of scardy bitch i feel like being

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

i love both

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

hell yeah, let me feel the beat in my kidneys

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

no tears left to cry by ag

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

fall

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a churro + peppermint mocha frap

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female (she/her)

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

iced coffee / sweet tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

yeah, i have environmental homework and US I homework and Algebra II homework

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bruh, idk

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no, that shit’s never made

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

jigglypuff

(64) Favourite Social Media?

pintrest

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

they’re okay

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no. i don’t miss thins very easily, i’m away from home for a week and i have no doubt that i could spend the rest of my life without going back.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yes sir

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk, some really thick and heavy in hydration set

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car, though both options scare me

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

i have a strained relationship with my bio dad, but unfortunately i still have to associate myself with him a few times a year

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

black widow or spiderman 3, but i’m willing to see anything just take me back!

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i’ve never had an ex, but i do wish krystian would stop ignoring me. stupid scotland boys

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“friends dont lie”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green / brown

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

i loved swinging, but a few years ago it started making me dizzy so i don’t swing very often anymore. but tire swings especially are my shit

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

chicken flavored ramen

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

yes

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yeah...because they’re dying and if i have the skills to save them...why wouldn’t i?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

honey, i do full virtual high school. we stan a pandemic (we don’t)

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

social media stalker is my middle name. not anymore though, i haven’t been asked to find a boy in a while

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

no. i hate it. anxiety city man.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i don’t wear rings, but i really want to.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

woke up, watched stranger things, made ramen

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

whatever i fall asleep in.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

are beauty and skincare the same? because i don’t own much makeup.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

i used to be a night person. but this pandemic has hit hard with depression and i’ve become a stay in bed all day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

2048 balls, among us, ball sort puzzle, bubble shooter, bubble sort, color roll 3D, drag n merge, fit and squeeze, hole.io, mario kart, match 3D, nonogram.com, paint the cube, roof rails, solitare, spit, stacky dash, stair run, timber run...

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

After my moms fiance died, I had a dream that he was able to come see my fifth grade play (he died just before it happened) and when we were walking out he got into the white car from fast and furious (we watched the movies together) and said he would see me again soon, then he drove off...like talk about weird

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

rootbeer

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

i like a good clicking sound

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats everyday all day

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a fucking wreck

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

netflix

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

i want a bunch of little symbols, and i think it would be cute if i got a T for my mom, but i can’t tell her that because she might think i’m going soft and exploit my show of affection (jfc why am i like this lmao)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

colleen ballinger

#soapy tag #pink tag #ask game

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fandima-moved-read-pinned · 5 years ago

Note

Would it be awesome to see you do all 100 asks? Yes. Will you do them? We shall see.

Wanna bet

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? - More cereal than milk!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- No, actually. I hate the cold ^^' And if there's cold air on my cheeks then it's on my nose and that's no good

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? - Usually a post it note! Not very random, but it's normally what I have on hand.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? - Depends on my mood! Sometimes I'll take my coffee black, other times ill add a fricc ton of creamer, whipped cream, and sugar. Also sometimes I mix coffee with hot chocolate and it's amazing.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? - Very.

6: do you keep plants? - Always. I still have the carnations from Valentines Day (which surprisingly haven't died yet)

7: do you name your plants? - Nope.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? - just a mechanical pencil or a graphite pencil. They usually end up being sketches. But if I like how it looks I'll go over them in pen.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? - Yes and no? I'd do it more often but I don't want anyone to hear me. Especially my mom.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? - Side, always facing the wall.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? - The only one I can think of off the top of my head is *slap slap slap* *jumps out window*. No I will not explain.

12: what’s your favorite planet? - Pluto! Or Make Make. Make Make used to be my favorite because me and my brother would pronounce it wrong on purpose. But Pluto is ver pretty.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? - seeing my brother's reaction to his birthday present from me! I made a little felt monkey with bushy eyebrows (I needle felted it)

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? - Probably very messy. But also it would constantly smell like food!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! - Mars is shrinking. It is Smol.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? - Fettuccine Alfredo with Shrimp! It's what I usually ordered at Olive Garden until I found out that it was expensive and was probably stressing out my parents.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? - Don't laugh okay but pink! I want to dye the bottom half of my hair bright freaking pink. Like hot pink.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. - That time I slapped a guy twice for picking me up. That guy was my best friend. He picked me up from behind and I sorta whipped around and slapped him. The first time he didn't put me down, he just laughed. So I slapped him again. He got the hint.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- I don't. I tried a while back, but I figured it would be easier just to talk to people about my issues instead of writing them down.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? - Green. Or dark brown.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. - Not sure what this means, sorry. I've got this pencil pouch that has a tree print on it that I've used for a few years now even though it has a hole it it. Does that count?

22: are you a morning person? - No. I wake up at 5:30 am on weekdays and usually don't get out of bed until I have ten minutes to get ready and leave.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? - Stay in my room and draw! Although I don't have lazy days. Every time my mom comes upstairs I immediately start cleaning because if I don't she'll yell at me for being lazy.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? - Yes. Take a look at who sent this ask. Also my other two online friends! One of them I spam with worms on a string and the other I just know I can trust and I don't know why.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? - the only place I've broken into is my own house. I had to climb the backyard fence to go through the back door because me and my brother forgot our keys.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? - My plain black tennis shoes. I need to get new ones because these ones are old and barely fit but every time I mention it, it's like I never said a word.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? - Candy Cane!

28: sunrise or sunset? - Sunset! I get to see the sun setting behind the Rocky Mountains and it's really pretty.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? - exist

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? - Yes. I'd rather not talk about it.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. - socks can burn in hell for all I care. I hate socks. I only wear them if I have to (like while wearing shoes)

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. - I remember being at a sleepover a few days before I moved (this was in South Korea) and I woke up at 3:34 am (yes I remember the time don't ask why) because one of my friends was playing Megalovania on the keyboard. Then she turned around and asked who the hell took her pretzels. They were under her pillow.

33: what’s your fave pastry? - c w a s o a n t (with jelly inside!)

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? - I still have this stuffed animal now (I have all of my stuffed animals. I haven't brought myself to get rid of them). It's a little pink blanket with a bunny head named Squeek. Not Squeak. I didn't know how to spell that.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? - No. I don't have any.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? - https://youtu.be/7TqLXIBG-6g not a band but still

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? - Messy! It may sound strange, but I can't find anything when it's clean. It also feels empty unless I've got stuff all over the floor.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! - When I tell remind someone of the rules and they say "okay" and continue breaking them. Like we aren't supposed to put pans in the dishwasher because it ruins the pans. Yet my brother always puts them in there. I remind him and take it out, and he says "okay" and puts it back. I also hate it when I ask someone to stop doing something (usually when it's making me nervous or upset) and they ask "WhY?" in a really annoying tone and keep doing it. I ALSO hate it when I'm in charge and yet no one listens to me.

I also don't like it when no one says thank you. It makes it seem like they don't appreciate me.

39: what color do you wear the most? - Grey. I want to wear colorful clothes but the last time we went clothes shopping and I asked for pastel colors, I walked out of the store with grey, light grey, brown, and dark blue clothes.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? - I have a locket that I made for my seventh birthday. It has little charms in it (a rose, my first initial, a heart key, and a birthday cake) and it's gold. I love it and I don't know why.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? - There's a book series that I don't remember the name of but it's about a girl who is forcibly turned into a siren by three other sirens. She has to eat human hearts to live. It's kinda gorey, kinda romantic, lots of action. I love it.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! - Unfortunately no, I usually get coffee at a gas station ^^'

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? - My dog Freyja! Whenever I take out trash, she comes with, and when the sky is clear I like to point out the starts with her before we go back inside. She's very sweet. But I can't stargaze for more than a minute.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? - Last year I went on a trip to Florida to stay with my grandparents for a week. I remember waking up one morning with a beautiful view of the ocean and the sound of waves crashing onto the shore. My grandparents have an apartment of sorts that faces the Atlantic and you can literally go down the stairs and go swim in the ocean if you want to, it's like a two minute walk, not even. I love the ocean and the sound of waves and seagulls is always calming to me. But my house is very loud and there's no peace here.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? - Yes. When I have a bad feeling about something, I address it. It's not always true, but I don't want to risk anything.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. - Sorry, I don't know many puns. I guess I'm just not a pun-ny person.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? - fucking macaroni with bread crumsb that shit is nasty af

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? - Storms, especially tornados. Now my biggest fear is death. Whether I'm the one dying or its someone I care about.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? - Not really, I don't have money to buy anything ^^' Even when I do have money, I spend it on art stuff. That reminds me that I need to fix my radio.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? - Fabric. I have so much and I don't even use it. But when I see a nice fabric, I get it (if I have money).

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? - 'Old Timer Rock and Roll' (probably not the name of it) always reminds me of my dad. One day we were driving in his Jeep, just us two, and I mentioned that I wasn't a fan of the music on the radio. We ended up compromising and that song was the first one on the radio station that we switched to.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? - I am unfortunately not up to date with the memes. Although the ones where it's like "you've mc-ed your last Donald" or "you've ratted your last tatouille" always make me exhale aggressively.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? - None of the above! I've been wanting to watch Heather's though. I just never get around to doing it.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? - My brother. Not the same one from before.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? - nothing, sorry. I'm not very dramatic.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? - when they pour their heart out about a certain subject that they love. I know a lot of people tend to bottle up their opinions but when someone trusts me aniugh to tell me all about it, it's just sorta nice.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? - I just sorta spaced out for the first have then did a little dance for the rest of it. I love the line "I see a little silhouetto of a man" and it's more upbeat and the music just makes me dance a little

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? - bold of you to assume I have a group of friends

59: what’s your favorite myth? - There's this one I heard as a kid that involves a faceless girl on the side of a highway who tries to steal faces.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? - I can't think of any off the top of my head, but poetry is nice!

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? - I don't really remember. I try to only give gifts that are meaningful.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? - nope! I usually drink milk!

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? - I usually leave my music to its own devices, but all the books are organized by series and genre.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? - Blue! Just any other afternoon sky.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? - My older brother. We don't get to talk much.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? - Colorful, with a few white flowers!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? - Those are usually the days that I don't feel anything.

68: what’s winter like where you live? - The weather is all over the place. A little snow, then the next day, it's like 60°F. Not even joking. It snowed Friday and Saturday was warm.

69: what are your favorite board games? - Monopoly and Battleship!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? - No, but I really want to. But my dad won't let me.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? - I don't really drink tea, sorry!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? - Nope. I'll forget it anyway. I usually set alarms for certain things but then I don't do it.

73: what are some of your worst habits? - Biting the inside of my cheek and scratching/pinching my arm when I'm nervous.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. - kind, a good listener, talented, and understanding

75: tell us about your pets! - We have four dogs. There's Emrys (the dog I've posted pictures of before), Cirilla (a husky German Shepard mix, very sweet), Cayde-6 (a Rottweiler mix I think, super energetic, loud, and steals food off the counter even when someone is watching), and Freyja (a German Shepard mix, puppy, also very sweet! She knows the phrase 'give hugs' and she always comes with me to take out the trash for whatever reason). I also have a Guinea Pig (who I want to get a friend for because she's lonely, but my parents keep saying no) names Neo.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? - Working on my Someconsious series, cleaning, and probably checking in with some friends.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? - Pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or Fan club? - Hate club. I don't like them. They're just annoying and bright and their language is stupid to me.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? - One of my exes surprised me with a cars and roses out of nowhere. It wasn't Valentines Day, it wasn't my birthday, he just went out of his way to do something nice for me when I was having a rough week.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? - They're a sort of off white. I want to paint them light lavender or pale blue but my parents have only painted the living room and refuse to paint anywhere else for whatever reason. I know we can afford paint, I know we have time. They just stopped caring.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. - Not sure what it means by abstract, but I'll try. Her eyes are similar to the bottom of a small river. The brown in the middle with green rings on the edges remind me of a river I used to go fishing in back in Oklahoma.

82: are/were you good in school? - I'm okay. I have all A's and B's, but I have easy subjects that aren't very hard.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? - I don't really listen to albums, my music taste is mostly individual songs. Even then I don't really pay attention to the art.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? - I want to get a quote of sort on my ankle. Something in another language so I can tell them it means something mysterious and deep when in reality it's the description of a toaster oven that hasn't been cleaned since 1995.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? - I read a few webcomics if that counts! I like Castle Swimmer a lot! Gay fish bapeys are best fish bapeys.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? - I don't know what those are, sorry

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? - The Princess Bride and the Last Unicorn. But I'm biased because they're both a part of my childhood.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? - not in particular!

89: are you close to your parents? - I'm only close with my dad. My stepmom can go fuck herself. She just told us that's she'll be making a schedule for the next two weeks because there won't be school. One of the weeks was spring break anyway! We aren't missing much!

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. - I like Palm Beach in Florida! It's fairly quiet, right next to the ocean, and filled with retired people who are all really nice.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? - Nowhere, we don't travel much. I really want to go to Florida again though.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? - I don't add cheese at all! It sort of ruins the texture for me. Especially the grated sprinkle cheese stuff l. I hate now it feels.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? - I just keep my hair down. I don't like it in any other way.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? - My brother. His birthday is today!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? - cry a lot cry some more lose feelings for a few hours draw watch YouTube art videos then try not to yell at my mom like I did last week

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? - I just get it over with so I can do whatever needs to be done. Or I schedule it for when I'm not going to be using it.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? - INFP-T/Mediator, Scorpio, and Hufflepuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?- A few weeks ago. And no, I did not enjoy it considering I was supposed to be working on an important project that day.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. - Where We Started, If You're Going Through Hell, and We Like to Numb (a mix of We Like to Party and Numb)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? - Future. In five years I plan on being in college and I want to see what I should be prepared for and if my interests have changed.

This took me at least an hour and a half. Thank you though! I

#Long Post #Aven Answers #tw cursing

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paradisobound · 6 years ago

Text

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 8

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count: 2.3k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday at 4pm and Sunday at 1pm EST

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

Work returned to normal within just a few days and it was like nothing had ever happened at the BBC. Phil wouldn’t ever hear the whispers anymore from the people who were once so infatuated with the idea of big stars like Mimei Lake and Dan being in the same building.

And although the filming had played such a massive role in the BBC the last few days, it was almost like it never happened. But of course, it had to have happened. Because if it hadn’t, Phil wouldn’t currently be on Skype with Dan Howell who is currently 8 hours behind him in Los Angeles.

Phil almost didn’t agree to the Skype call when Dan asked for his Skype name. Mostly because Phil was extremely nervous to be seeing Dan again face to face after their day in London that didn’t go as planned. But Dan was pretty adamant that he’d like to speak with Phil in a way that wasn’t over text and Phil decided to comply.

“I feel like there is a lot I need to explain.”

Those were the first words out of Dan’s mouth as the grainy laptop camera focused on Dan’s face. “You really don’t need to explain anything.”

Dan looked down at his lap and let out a sigh. “But I also have to because I feel like it’s not fair to you that you didn’t get to show me around London like we planned because my anxiety got in the way.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“But it feels like it is.”

“Dan.” It was the first time that Phil had really used Dan’s name directly to him and it felt a bit odd. “You never have to apologize for the way something bothers you. If that situation was making you uncomfortable, you had every right to want to go back to your hotel and be alone.”

Dan let out another sigh. “This life isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.”

Phil felt the sadness coming from Dan through the screen.

“When I was young, I dreamt about these days of my life where I could sit back in my Hollywood hills mansion and look at my awards and think ‘damn, I fucking did it.’ But now that this is my life, it’s so much more than I’ve ever thought it to be.”

There is a stall in Dan’s words and Phil can see that he’s trying to think over what to say next in his head. “I’m not saying that this isn’t the life I want―it’s just that maybe this life isn’t for me? I mean for God’s sake, I couldn’t even handle it when a few fans found out I was on the London Eye.”

“They shouldn’t have followed you.” Phil said, finding his gaze staring directly at the brown eyed male’s. “That’s a breach of your privacy.”

“They don't care about that.” There was a sharp pang in Dan’s words. “Most of them do in fact care about my privacy but others are looking for a peak into my life when they don’t need one.”

“Kind of like how a bunch of them tried to figure out who I was?”

Dan nodded and smirked. “To be fair, they did a good job. But I’m not too fond of them all assuming that you’re my new boyfriend. Like granted, theres nothing wrong with that, but not every person I’m seen with I’m dating.”

“Isn’t that how it always works though?” Phil asked, genuinely curious. “I mean look at Ariana Grande or really any celebrity out there.”

“Well, of course. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be annoyed when it happens to me.”

Phil shrugged. “Fair enough. It’s been odd to see people try and write up a story about me and I’m not even a known person. I’m just Phil from the BBC.”

Dan flashed a smile at him and cocked his head to the side. “Just Phil from the BBC?”

Phil laughed. “Does sound kind of lame, doesn’t it?”

Dan let out a hearty laugh and fell backwards onto his bed, his laptop falling down with him. As the camera fell with it, Phil couldn’t help but notice how soft, yet pillowy, Dan’s comforter looked underneath him.

“I’m exhausted.” Dan says, turning on his side and positioning his laptop to lay next to him on his bed. “My flight got in last night and then I was expected to be on set early this morning.”

“Go get some sleep then.”

Dan snorted. “As if you can talk. Isn’t it like 3am in the UK right now?”

Phil looked at the time on top of his laptop. “It’s only 2:38am, thank you very much.”

“You should be the one going to bed.”

“I don’t have to work tomorrow.” Phil argued. That wasn’t a lie. He really didn’t have to work tomorrow.

“You shouldn’t be staying up because of me.”

But I want to.

“I don’t mind.”

“But I do.” Dan quipped. “You should go to bed and I should too even though it’s only 6 and I should be eating dinner.”

“Go eat dinner and then get some rest.” Phil felt himself yawn and Spike shifted on the bed next to him in protest.

“Okay.” Dan didn’t protest any longer, but Phil could see he was struggling to keep his eyes open. “Can I just say something before this call ends?”

“What is it?”

“Thank you for being my friend, Phil. I don’t have many of those nowadays.”

Phil felt his heart jump in his throat but he didn’t have a long time to process Dan’s words because suddenly Dan’s phone rang and he sympathetically cut off the Skype call to answer it in private.

But Phil laid awake for a while that night, trying to decipher Dan’s words. He could only just barely see where he fit into everything.

***

@Danielhowell

I could sleep for the next ten years zzzzzzz

The first thing Phil saw when he woke up the next morning was the notification for Dan’s tweet from the night before. He found himself smiling and opening the tweet, letting his phone take him to Dan’s Twitter.

It was posted only two hours ago, but given that it was nearing 10am in the UK, that meant it was only 2am in Los Angeles and he was sure Dan was sleeping by now. But something inside of him still moved his fingers for him and suddenly he was typing out:

to@danielhowell

amazingphil: hopefully you’re finally sleeping by now!

The moment that Phil’s fingers subconsciously pressed reply, he had a sinking feeling that this was going to backfire. But he didn’t bother to delete the tweet. He quickly exited the app and threw his phone down beside him.

Spike was curled into a ball at the end of his bed, snoring in a way where his breath hit Phil’s feet and made them a bit too warm for Phil’s liking. But Spike was sleeping and clearly comfortable so he wasn’t going to bother him.

He closed his eyes, beginning to feel like he might sleep for an hour or so more when his phone buzzed and he picked it up out of instinct. Seeing what was there caused his eyes to bug and he let out a shocked noise.

to@amazingphil

danielhowell: I still can’t sleep :(

And with that reply set off a minefield in the replies. Phil’s Twitter began to be spammed by people replying to him or to Dan. He suddenly had people following him that he had no idea who they were but they had Dan’s name in their Twitter handle.

People were screaming in the replies about the interaction and many more were screaming about how they ‘shipped’ him and Dan together. Phil didn’t even know what that meant.

He was starting to panic, anxiety rising in his throat. From the end of the bed, he could hear Spike whimper and suddenly, his pup was running to him. Phil wrapped his arms around him and held his dog close, burying his face into Spike’s short fur.

He took deep breaths. Everything was going to be okay. He had to keep telling himself that. Dan has mentioned his fans multiple times. He’s apologized on behalf of his fans multiple times.

He was going to be fine.

Phil let go of Spike and picked his phone back up, daring to look at everything. It still looked bad…but not as bad as it was before. He unlocked his phone and went back onto Twitter, assessing the damage.

Well, there wasn’t a lot of damage per se, just a lot of random people suddenly @‘ing him and following him. He even had a few dm’s but he wasn’t going to open those. He was sure they were from fans who just wanted to know more information about him that he wasn’t willing to give.

In a freak moment, he went into his settings and privated his Twitter, making it so no one could follow him and no one could message him. He didn’t need that in his life. Not now.

He was trying to continue to calm down when he got a text from Dan that came through.

Dan: OH MY GOD i’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for that to happen.

Phil: It wasn’t you. I’m sorry for even replying.

Dan: You shouldn’t be sorry for that.

Dan: Point blank, my fans can be intrusive and they can be dicks. I’m really sorry.

Phil lets out a breath and reaches up, rubbing his hand across his face. If it wasn’t for all that had just happened, he might have felt that his eyes hurt from leaving in his contacts over night. But he’s not concentrated on that. He’s concentrated on this entire…mess.

His phone suddenly vibrates and Dan’s name pops up that he’s calling him.

Phil answers without a hesitation.

“I…I can’t believe that happened, Phil.”

“I’m not sure I can either.” Phil answers honestly.

“Did anyone bother you? I saw you privated your Twitter really quickly.”

“I had quite a few mentions and also I think some dm’s?” Phil felt his breathing pick up. “I’m quite nervous to read them.”

He heard Dan let out a loud sigh. “Please just―don’t let them bother you, okay? I know that I let them bother me sometimes but you don’t deserve to be bothered.”

“I’ll try.”

Phil could almost hear the smile that he was sure Dan now had. “I feel so bad. You have no idea.”

“It’s not you.” Phil repeats. “I just never thought about the backlash of me replying to you.”

“This is all a right mess, isn’t it?” Dan laughed.

Phil found himself laughing too.

Dan let out another sigh before beginning to speak again. “I have a question and I feel like this is probably coming at a really bad time but I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Phil feels his heart pick up it’s beating and his hands begin to shake. Spike begins to whimper again and Phil reaches out to pet him to feel better. “Yeah?”

“Would you care if I came back to London next week between filming?”

***

“When did you get chummy with the movie star?”

Phil looks up from his laptop to his brother sat at the small kitchen table in his flat, working on his own laptop for the clothing business that he owned. “What are you talking about?”

Martyn scoffed. “You know what I mean. Everyone saw what happened on Twitter this morning.”

“I just replied to him and he replied back.” Phil shrugged. “It can happen to anyone.”

“Don’t pull that shit on me, Phil.” Martyn laughed. “Are you and Dan dating?”

Phil quickly shook his head. “No! We’re just friends.”

Martyn cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

“Martyn…come on.”

Martyn shrugs and Phil lets out a loud sigh. “We’re not dating. We’re barely even friends.”

“Do you want to be dating?”

Phil has to admit that his dating life wasn’t something he had thought about in a while. If he was being fully honest, he was kind of assuming that he was going to remain single for the rest of his life. Mostly considering that he was newly 32 and hadn’t been able to keep a relationship for over a year before it fell apart.

Phil did find Dan attractive, but who didn’t? Dan was stunning with his brown curls and honey eyes. Phil will never forget how beautiful Dan looked the first time that he met him in person.

He couldn’t wait to see Dan again next week.

They had spoken for a while on the phone this morning before Dan complained that he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore and Phil told him to go to bed. Dan wanted to come to London but he said he wanted to keep it a secret best he can. So he asked to stay at Phil’s flat and Phil agreed.

He was nervous for it. But he was also excited but he felt like this would be a really good time to really develop a friendship with Dan that he wanted. He really wanted to be friends with Dan. And if it led to something else―well, he wouldn’t be mad if it led to something else.

But that’s only an if.

“I wouldn’t mind if we did but I also just want to be his friend right now.’

Martyn scoffs again. “You’re lying.”

“Not every guy I’m friends with is someone that I want to date.” Phil comments with a laugh.

“Well, no.” Martyn says. “I’m not daft enough to believe that. But you’re really going to sit there and tell me that you don’t want to date Daniel Howell?”

“I―I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“Wouldn’t be opposed to it?” Martyn mocked. “Just admit it, Phil. You find Dan attractive. It’s okay.”

Phil felt his face flush and finally, giving in, he muttered a quick. “I think Dan is really attractive.”

Martyn let out a little laugh again and went back to typing on his laptop and Phil went back to his own work.

It felt good for Phil to say that for once. It felt almost as if a weight had been lifted off from him.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #au #famous!dan #moviestar!dan #normal!phil #princesslexi763fics

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fizzyxcustard · 6 years ago

Text

Just To Let Go (3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Masterlist here

Full fic on AO3 here

Fandom: Real Person Fiction (Richard Armitage)

Summary: You and Richard Armitage are best friends and during a meeting in London, the two of you find that your relationship takes a very serious turn. You are terrified of letting yourself go and loving Richard, despite knowing deep down that you adore him. Your insecurity is keeping you both from being together, and you also find pictures online of the two of you in public. Richard begs you to accompany him in New York and make the move, but will you overcome it all and finally find your strength?

Warnings: Bad language, sexual references, angst, insecurity

Pairings: Richard Armitage x Fem!Reader

Comments/Notes: Originally posted under fizzy-custard as an imagine with no official story title. Now condensed into 4 parts. If you wish to be added to any character, series or fandom tag lists, message me or send an ask.

Follow Forever tag list: @himoverflowers @shikin83 @theincaprincess @deepestfirefun @nowiloveandwilllove @houseofrahl @mynameisnoneya1991 @blankdblank @captainrainbowpanda @cd1242 @c-s-stars @thorins-magnificent-ass @patanghill17 @trees-and-ink @inumorph @leah-halliwell92 @greendragonette @msjava1972 @thequeenoferebor @bespectacled-bunny @ghostlyandee @raindancer2004 @dottiechan @captain-almighty @hobbitlover23 @catthefearless @epicallychrissy @nelswp @adaliamalfoy @spn-obsession @admirationofarmitage

Richard broke down into tears, his shoulders shuddering in the pain of what was happening to him. Then he kissed your hands again. “If this is what you want....just let me kiss you...once,” he begged. There was no way you could deny him this one request. You moved closer to him, anticipation racking through you, your stomach fluttering painfully. And suddenly his lips were on yours as he threw you both into a kiss. His hand drifted up your cheek and he groaned loudly.

You kissed hard, feeling your whole body become alight for him. Just the reaction from your body made you forget the words that you had spoken to him. Your hands cupped his cheeks, feeling his beard and the tears which had shown his despair of your words. Every other kiss you had ever had in your life paled into insignificance as you felt Richard’s arms wind around your waist, drawing you in tight. Then his lips left yours and began nipping at your neck and he gradually slowed down, his lips pecking lightly against your warm skin. “Please....let me love you,” he whispered. “Let me show you. Trust me. Let go and I’ll catch you.”

Richard’s arms remained locked tightly at your waist as he rested his head on your shoulder, lightly kissing it. His words were breaking your barrier, that high wall which you had thrown up against all the potential pain and rejection. You brushed your hand up the back of his head, your fingers lacing in his short hair.

“I’m terrified,” you told him.

“Of what?” he whispered back. “Talk to me.”

“Terrified of being hurt again; letting go, giving in and finding out its all one joke or I’m not really what you want. My exes treated me like I was nothing to them, and I can’t stand the pain of that. I know I’m nothing.”

Richard drew back from you. “You are not nothing,” he insisted.

You sat down on your sofa as he sat in the armchair opposite, leaning forward, and he continued speaking. “You made bad choices, like everyone does, even me. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love. It just means that you chose to be with arseholes who were too blinded by themselves to see your worth.”

“You’re just saying that,” you said, looking away.

Richard reached over, taking your hand. “No, I mean every word. Have I ever lied to you?”

“No,” you replied. Your heart was pounding so hard and you began to feel nauseous as you teetered on the edge of giving yourself to Richard. “No, you never have.”

“So why would I lie to you now? Why would I have flown all this way to see you and try to make things work between us? Your pain from those bastards you let yourself be trapped by is the reason you’re being held back from being in a relationship with someone who would do anything for you.”

Those words made you swallow hard. His eyes were full of nothing but sincerity and determination.

“You deserve love and happiness,” Richard continued. “And I want to be the one that can give that to you.”

Tears began to well in your eyes again and you got up, moving across to Richard. His eyes never left yours as you straddled his lap and his arms wound around you protectively. You cupped his cheek again and then kissed his brow, holding him against your chest. “I love you,” you whispered.

***

The first night that you and Richard spent together, basking in the glow of your new relationship, and you lay together, kissing, feeling each other beneath the sheets. Your self control had snapped a long time ago, and now you felt as if you were taking charge of your physical intimacy. However, it was only taking you so far. Richard would look up at you as you straddled him, and he couldn’t help but keep smiling at you. But, as of yet, you had not allowed yourself to venture down the avenue of completely giving your body to him.

Richard stayed with you for three days, enjoying helping you prepare meals, snuggling with you on the sofa to watch television and then kissing every inch of you at night. Never once did he push for sexual gratification, sensing that you were still holding back and growing accustomed to the new atmosphere between you both.

On the evening of the third day before he was due to leave and go back to New York for more meetings with Audible, and possibly look into a theatre production later in the year, he sat down with you at your small dining room table. Both of you had a cup of coffee. He reached across the table and laced his fingers in yours. You looked at him, sensing that there was a question.

“I want to ask you something,” he said, confirming your suspicions.

“Okay,” you replied, excitement and apprehension hitting your stomach.

He got up from his seat, releasing your hand.

“I want you to travel with me,” he announced. “How often do we get to see each other? Once every six weeks? We can’t keep a relationship going like that.”

Of course you wanted to be with him, and this had always been the issue within your friendship. You were never able to spend as much time together as you wanted.

You got up from your chair, exhaled and smiled. You wound your arms around his neck and stood on your tip toes, placing a kiss against his lips. Immediately Richard pulled you against him and showed his hunger for you, his tongue seeking yours.

For a minute or two you continued kissing, becoming caught in the moment, until you moved away, breathing quickly. “It’ll mean quitting my job,” you said. “And I don’t have any savings behind me.”

“None of that matters. I’ll provide for you,” Richard proposed. He held your hands and kissed your head as you looked down, trying to comprehend what he was proposing. “I want to share everything, and my life, with you.”

That night you let your love and passion for Richard take you away, and you made love for the first time. He kept so incredibly close to you, his lips always brushing against your skin, and for your very first time joined, you moved slowly. Richard was over you, kissing your neck and down your face over and over, worshipping you. His hips rocked against yours, and with each deep thrust, you felt a spark ignite inside you.

Your love making carried on until just after midnight, and Richard fell down next to you. Both of you were spent, having come against each other multiple times, and now it was time to curl together.

“I love you,” Richard whispered, holding you on his chest.

The following day would mean Richard heading back to New York where he would wait a week for you to tie up the loose ends you needed to in order to begin your gradual move, and then meet back with him State side. Most of your furniture would need to be sold, and you would need to hand in your resignation from work effective as of immediately, then approach your landlord, paying the remainder of your rent. Farewells to the few friends and family you had would also need to be said.

At around 3am you woke from a doze, having not been able to sleep with all the excitement and preparations swirling around your head. You slipped out of bed, untangling yourself gently from Richard, who groaned under his breath and rolled over, turning away from you.

You picked up your pad of paper and pen from your bedside table and walked into your kitchen which was just the next room down the hallway. With a smile, you began listing all the things that you needed to take care of: end tenancy agreement with land lord, hand in resignation at work, end contracts with electricity and gas companies...the list began to get longer. Until you felt lips against the base of your neck.

“What are you up to?” Richard asked.

“Just writing down everything I need to do before I leave,” you replied. “I never realised there was so much.”

“I can stay an extra couple of days if you need me,” Richard proposed, stepping beside you and looking down at your list. “I can help with some of this. I can contact the shipping company that helped me when I moved. They gave me a decent deal.”

You sighed, realising how expensive it was all going to be. “This is going to cost a lot, Rich. I know my electric company will need the rest of the month up front, and the gas probably will as well.”

“Then you give me your bank details and I’ll transfer you some money in.”

Everything seemed to be fitting together so perfect; the small hiccups seemed to have a solution. However, something was telling you that this perfection would not last, and soon your sixth sense would be proved correct.

#Richard armitage #fanfiction #real person fiction #reader insert #Richard armitage x you #Richard armitage x fem!reader #Richard armitage x reader #insecurity #angst #terrified of falling in love

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goodnightkisseu · 7 years ago

Text

Yoon Jisung - Character

Genre: Fluff

“When We Met” Series: [Minhyun][Jihoon][Jaehwan][Guanlin][Daehwi][Jinyoung][Jisung][Woojin][Seongwu][Sungwoon][Daniel]

Note: Hi everyone! I’m back with another series and this time, it’s a particularly special one because it’s a series that will be counting down to Wanna One’s 1st Anniversary! I’m calling it “When We Met” because it’ll be a series of scenarios, using Wanna One’s individual debut teasers as starting points for how you meet!

This is also a series in collaboration with @nothingwithoutwannaone! She will be writing her own versions of how you meet and I will link them in each post ^^

Today we have Jisung’s part for the series! Honestly, I was really excited about this one. I don’t often get to write for Jisung, but since he’s one of my top 3, I always feel really soft when I do get to write for him. I really enjoyed this one and I hope that everyone else does too. Let me know what you think ^^

nothingwithoutwannaone‘s version —> [x]

- goodnightkisseu’s admin <3

Your day started at 3am every morning. You would wake up and get ready for the day, then head out at 3:45am sharp. Like clockwork you would be at the small café by 4 am. As soon as you got through the door you would make your way straight to the back and remove the dough you had prepped from the refrigerator, before running back out to the front of the store to make sure that everything here was well stocked. There was definitely more than enough coffee grains for the day. Jooyoung would be bringing in the till when he arrived in about an hour. Your groceries from the local market should also be in by then, so overall it seemed like you were set for the day. Running a café was hard work, but it was yours, and that made all of this hard work worth it.

Owning a café had been a dream of yours for many years. When you were much younger and your family had the time, you would often travel abroad. During those travels, your parents would always take you to local cafés and bistros. They were beautiful, with patio seating areas that extended out onto the sidewalk and a beautiful yet quaint ambiance indoors. It filled your young mind with imagination and the thought that one day, you would own one too. Your own little café in the city where people could come to have breakfast, or spend a cozy afternoon. Where they could just relax and maybe leave the troubles of their everyday life, even if only for an hour.

Getting here wasn’t easy of course, nothing really was. You had gone to school for accounting, taking a minor in entrepreneurship, thinking it would help. And, in theory, entrepreneurship should have, except that it didn’t really prepare you for what you would have to deal with outside of an academic setting. Though it mentioned getting certain licenses, it didn’t really explain how to do that, nor how much startup capital you would need. So while you worked a boring office job, you studied up on the gaps that your education left. You learned how to get the proper licenses, what types of protection you needed as a business and what types of insurance your employees needed. You studied up on how to pick a good store front, which, was harder than expected, though not surprising. There were limited options as far as a decent location was concerned, and the rent was exorbitant for some of these places.

Still after a few years of searching, you found the perfect little place to run your business. You had saved up a decent amount and the rest you could get from a bank loan. It was going to be financially rough for a bit, even though business was okay so far. In the end it was worth it though. You now had a café that you were proud of, with top quality food and the atmosphere that you always imagined as a kid. You got to do what a lot of people couldn’t, and for that you were glad.

Within the hour Jooyoung, your assistant manager, arrives. He was the other early bird on the staff. He greeted you before setting up the till and running around, getting the tables ready and adjusting the little menu you had to include the new coffee roast that had just come in. The two of you talked as you worked, letting each other know what was going on in your lives. Soon, more of your staff started flooding in and within the next two hours, you were all ready to open…

========

Today was a day for a change in scenery. At least, that’s what Jisung decided when he woke up that morning. He tried to work like he usually did, at his usual writing desk with all of his research materials surrounding him and ambient music playing in the background… but it just wasn’t happening. He found his mind wandering to other things, completely unrelated to the novel he was working on and that was when he knew he needed to leave the house. Actually on that thought, how many days had it been since he left anyway. Three maybe? Ah, that was way too long.

So gathering his trusty notebook, a pencil, which he preferred to all other writing utensils, and his laptop, he packed them all up and headed out the door. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he knew he needed to get out for some fresh air. This book was causing him more stress than he thought it would.

Jisung had been a novelist for a few years now, though nothing he wrote really hit it big. They sold well, but they weren’t the types of things that would end up on a bestsellers list. And he was fine with that, as were his publishers. However, when he brought up the idea for his new novel, they seemed extremely interested about it, more so than they had for anything he had written in the past. They gave him more resources and it was all just a little too much. He was feeling the pressure to deliver something amazing and yet, here he was, still trying to figure out how to write for his female lead.

Though it was stressful, it was also worth it. He got to quit his day job and do what he loved. No one could argue with that. He lived a good life… and now he just had to deliver a remarkable book.

As he wandered the streets, Jisung found a small café that caught his eye. Though it had been in the area for about a year, he never had time to visit before, being swamped with deadlines, so maybe… maybe now was the time to do so? He walked over to it and entered, being instantly greeted by the polite wait staff. They quickly seated him and asked him if he wanted anything to drink. He asked for a coffee before the kind waitress disappeared to get him his beverage. It was a quaint little café, not too bright but also not too loud. It didn’t echo as much as some of the other places he went to. This would be the perfect place to work, he decided. Today, today he was going to finally flush out that female lead. And like that, after ordering his food, he went straight to work…

========

“Hey boss, I think that guy at table 11 fell asleep,” one of your waitresses informed you, having noticed him nodding off as she cleaned a nearby table. You looked up and over at the mentioned table and sure enough, he definitely looked like he was dozing off.

“I’ll go check on him. Thank you, Chaerim,” you told her and gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder before making your way over. It was midday and the café was mostly empty at this hour, more so because it was a weekday. The male wasn’t bothering anyone so you didn’t mind. You just wanted to make sure that he was okay.

“Excuse me,” you said softly as you appeared at his side. He didn’t respond and his head just kind of bobbed as he sat there in a light sleep. It was kind of cute.

You gently reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder and that was enough to snap him out of it. He sat straight up, taking a moment to realize where he was. When it occurred to him that he wasn’t home, particularly after looking over and seeing you, his face instantly turned red. He stood and bowed to you as an apology.

“Ah, I’m so sorry! I fell asleep in your café didn’t I…” he said, though the answer was obviously. Ah, he was really, really embarrassed. Obviously, he was far more exhausted than he had originally thought. “I really do apologize. I hope I didn’t cause you any trouble…”

Your smile grew. What a cute person. So kind too. “You’re fine. My staff just brought it up because they wanted to make sure you were okay. You seem really tired… how about another cup of coffee?” you offered.

He gave you a nervous nod. “I’d really appreciate that…” And as you gave him another smile and turned away… he couldn’t help but think how well you seemed to fit his idea for his female lead…

========

“So you’re a writer, Jisung?” you asked, now seated at the table with him. At first you had just planned to get him some coffee, but something about him… it just kind of drew you in. The two of you had started to talk briefly as you closed up shop for the lunch hour and here you were, still talking. You had never met someone as easy to talk to as Jisung. It was strange, but in a good way.

“Somewhat. More like trying to become a more established author,” he explained taking a sip of his coffee as he looked over at you. You had just finished telling him about how this café was your dream, and truth be told, he really envied that. You were able to achieve something you always wanted, and he hoped that someday, he could too.

“Oh? Work on anything I might have read?” you asked with a giggle.

“Only if you’re read one of those beach novels,” he teased. “It’s my bestselling book to date. I had written it under a pen name and submitted it to my publishing company because of a bet with my friends. They said that I could never get anything like that published… and yet here I am, still getting royalties from it. I just wouldn’t read it if that isn’t your type of thing.”

You laughed again. “Hey, you still won the bet. So, would you mind if I asked you what you’re working on now?”

“Not at all,” he stated, though he lightly bit his lip as he turned his notepad to face you. “Writing those types of novels is fun and all, but I wanted to write something with a bit more meaning. I wanted to write the story of someone that, even with all of the struggles they’ve gone through, they still manage to make the best out of it. Life can be terrible, but there’s always a silver lining, you know? I know the idea can be cliché, but I think it’s an important idea. It’s a bit of a personal story for me too, since I kind of dropped everything to write,” he explained, all of a sudden a little nervous of how you would react. In the short time you had spent together, he felt like he really clicked with you, that he found a sense of kinship with you. Jisung was already seeking your approval, and that even shocked him a bit.

Your eyes scanned the pages, reading the notes he had written for each of his characters, about the way that they would develop and honestly, you were shocked. He thought everything through so thoroughly, even asking questions like ‘is this too much for this character?’ You didn’t know many writers, but a lot of this felt like it was above and beyond what some would do. Whatever piece Jisung worked on… it was going to be good.

“I think it’s hard for me to say whether it’ll be a hit or not,” you started, seeing his eyes waver just a bit. “But I know that a lot of people, myself included, would be able to relate and would love to read it.”

You were realistic. He liked that. “Thanks for not being overly optimistic. I really appreciate that,” he told you, giving you the most beautiful smile you had ever seen. Wow, he was attractive. “That’s definitely a quality I’d like my female character to have as well. Looks like I found my muse.”

“Wait, you what?” you asked, snapping out of it when you realized what he had said. It was your turn to be as red as a tomato. “I… wait- muse?” Your words were a jumbled mess, but Jisung found it amusing.

“Don’t be so shocked. You’re an interesting person.”

“Hardly, but thanks.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” he shot back as he took his notes from you. He told you that he had to get going to meet up with his editor. “Hmmm how about, you let me be the judge of how interesting you are. Want to talk more over dinner?”

You were at a loss for words. Jisung… Jisung was really something else. “I’d like that a lot, Jisung,”you finally managed when you were over your initial shock.

With another smile he bid you farewell, and you couldn’t wait until he came back around to get you for dinner…

#wanna one #yoon jisung #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #kpop scenarios #whenwemetseries #i feel like my titles are getting worse i'm sorry ;A;

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