#it's a bit difficult to tell you which of these fics influenced my writing for metal the most

[generic-sonic-fan]

Hullo there ! I love your " a father’s embrace " fanfic it got me into metal sonic more so i was wondering if u knew any other fanfics i could read that includes him , I would be very gratful for it ☆

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Be sure to also give a look to (shameful self-plug here, apologies) I Can't Take All This and a prompt fill I did for him a while back! Also keep an eager eye out for my Metal Sonic longfic that I'll post. . . eventually.

Without further ado, here's my rec list! I'll sort my recs into four categories: non-ship, Metamy, Metadow and Metonic.

Non-Ship:

The first thing I'll put in this category is actually not a fic, but an official piece of Sonic media. You are now legally obligated to watch the Sonic OVA!! This movie fundamentally changed the way I characterize Metal Sonic forever, and is the basis for at least one fic I'm recommending on this list. 2D animated Sonic is genuinely one of my favorite things on the great green earth, and the OVA has it in spades. If you love the Sonic CD intro, you're gonna love this one. The only drawback is that you have to deal with 90s sexism in some parts, but that's pretty minor.

Now, with that out of the way, let me get on to my actual fic recommendations:

and so I transformed myself with my own hands - by @couch-house. This is THE transfemme Metal Sonic bible right here. But not only that, it features a terrifyingly well-written Eggdad and a great take on Sage. Every scene where Eggman and Metal verbally spar in this one had me on the edge of my seat. The tension and pacing of this one is absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. So don't just read it for trans girl Metal- read it for everything else as well.

Situation: Optimal - by ModOrbot. Metal Sonic battles Sonic and pushes himself to the breaking point- and Eggman gets concerned. Featuring good dad Eggdad and some interesting angst from Metal.

Honorary mention to METACOGNITION - by Chaos Theory (Lizardmind). This one's still ongoing, but I really like this author's narration for Metal so far, and the alternate universe premise they're building is fascinating to watch as it unfolds.

Metamy:

Carbon Cafe - by @metallix-mixin. A post-redemption Metal waxes poetic about the bakery he now runs, and the lovely guest who visits him there. A short and sweet story with a charmingly verbose and romantic narration style for Metal that I haven't found anywhere else. I think about this fic whenever I pass a bakery.

Bird Calls - by Fumiku. Metal stumbles across Amy while she's bird-watching. This one's simply the best Metamy I've ever read. Period. GOD I love this one. Most of the time, I simply tolerate Metamy to get more content with Metal Sonic in it, but this fic makes me believe in love. The emotions that both Metal and Amy go through in this one are just so in-character, and are so, so good.

Beauty is in the Beholder - by Fumiku. This is the only fic I've ever found that's about Metamy after the introduction to their relationship. In this one, they've been dating for a while now, but Metal's been having some issues with mental health and body image. Good thing Amy's there to help :)

Metadow:

Mutually Beneficial, Whatever It Takes, and A Form Chosen By Himself, But Not For Himself - by @south-sea here on tumblr. In fact, you really should just check out everything Sea has ever written for their Second Chance AU that they have starring Shadow and Metal. They write Shadow and Metal in a queer-platonic relationship and their writing is honestly what sold me on the relationship in the first place. Everything they touch with these two characters is solid gold. The narration style they use for Metal is brutally effective. I can't recommend those fics highly enough.

Metonic:

Halves of the Same Coin - by @sunnimint. OVA Universe. This fic is MANDATORY READING once you've seen the OVA. This fic dragged me from the highest fluffy happiness to the most gut-wrenching of angst. This fic destroyed me. This fic remade me. And this fic just got its concluding chapter. It's the perfect time to read it.

Iron Oxide - by TheEnigmaMachine. This is the other mandatory reading for Metonic, this time set roughly in gameverse. This fic is fascinating because it's actually a high-concept science fiction novel neatly disguised as a ship fic. This one's a pleasure to read because Metal actually narrates in and utilizes actual computer and science terms (the tags for "quantum mechanics" and "physics" aren't kidding!) It genuinely blew my mind when I first read it. Don't let the weird premise scare you- roll with the angst, bunker down for the enemies-to-lovers slow burn, and give it a shot.

Beginnings of an End - by @sunnimint. If any of you were crying because you don't want to watch the OVA but still wanted to read Sunnimint's absolutely phenomenal prose, look no further- she's got one in gameverse too. This one, opposite of her other one, features a Metal raised by a good dad Eggman, and all of the baggage that comes with it going into a Metonic relationship. It's a fascinating read. The only problem is that it's unfinished, but what's there is solid gold.

[stu-dyingstudent]

kid/academy/pre-genin Sakura Haruno fic recs

To be honest, there aren't many kid or academy Sakura fics out there, at least that I can find, and most of which are actually time travel AUs. Now, the tricky thing with it is that most of those tend to start where Sakura is quite young, but by the end of the story she is a genin. So, it gives me the difficult decision of whether of not I should include those on this list (I haven't decided).

Anyway, the other difficult aspect of fanfiction about a young Sakura is the writing itself. There has to be a good balance of childishness and eloquence to ensure that the writing is not just truthful to the character, but that it also flows with the story. These are some of the ones I like!

Started: 2024.07.25

Last Updated: 2024.09.13

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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Satori (Between the Lines) - Jaylene || ffn || gen || T || academy AU || complete

While attending the Academy, Sakura's field experience assignment with the Konohagakure Intelligence Division ends up being more valuable than she'd ever guess.

Sakura lands herself working in Torture & Intelligence??? From the very beginning Sakura has been pegged as a "paper ninja" where she is constantly praised for her intelligence, so Satori (Between the Lines) is academy Sakura putting these skills to use. Super good read and includes characters we don't normally get to see in fics!

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Time Flies Like An Arrow - Katlou303 || ao3 || gen || K || time travel AU || complete

Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's four years old having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

Time Flies Like An Arrow is probably the most interesting take on a time travel AU I have ever read. Sakura ends up going back in time to when she is 4 years old and not even in the academy. The only thing is, she has no clue that this is the second time she's living this life and her mind is still one of a child.

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Two Minds (are better than one) - Lesemaus16 || ao3 || gen || Tobirama as inner AU || complete

Tobirama doesn't generally object to being reborn. He does object to being stuck in the mind of a little girl, though.Sakura grows up with a grumpy voice in her head, telling her to train more.Tobirama's influence on Sakura might very well change the story. Or maybe not, who knows.

note: I think this might actually take place during the genin days, but I have to check since I can't remember.

Tobirama is such a great character (so refreshing) and his interactions with Sakura in this are gold! I hope one day Kishimoto will release some side stories about him and other characters from his time as we really don't know that much about them tbh.

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New Day Dawning - IncompleteSentanc (Erava) || ao3 || narusaku || T || canon divergence || complete

One day, while visiting the grave of Nohara Rin, Obito stumbles across a young girl terrifyingly like her. He decides to ensure she doesn’t meet the same fate.As for Sakura? Sakura had no idea what she was awakening the day she went to visit her parents graves - but she never looked back. One way or another.(Feat. Sakura raised by Obito and the Akatsuki, and her eventual return to Konoha and all those she left behind)

Sakura is brainwashed and manipulated, but loved by notorious killers nonetheless. Incredibly well written and I won't lie when I say that the ending took me a bit by surprise. Also, I should warn you that this does take place over a long time and thus Sakura does not remain a child for the whole thing, but I just really wanted to put New Day Dawning on this list (just read it).

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In Another World - eleventheeggo || ao3 || gen || T || orphan Sakura AU || ongoing

What if Sakura was an orphan instead of Naruto and Sasuke? A story about a socially stunted girl who has a thirst for knowledge and is surrounded by softies who love her all the same.

Orphan!Sakura is not something I knew I needed in my life! She is so precious and it's great to watch all of these characters come together for her sake. In Another World also discusses ROOT a bit, which you know I love, so I can't wait for the story to get there.

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Your Move, Instigator (draw your weapon and hold your tongue) - Laysan_albatross || ao3|| third war extended AU || complete

“We are still under wartime policy,” the recruiter had told her parents. He had an envelope in his hand. He sounded sorry. “She has two parents who are successful ninjas. We would be remiss to overlook her potential based upon that alone.” The Third Shinobi War never ended. Konoha needs more soldiers, grabbing anyone who can fight, especially those who can't say no.

I feel like one of Your Move Instigator's biggest strengths is that it truly gets across the innocence (or loss) of these characters. They themselves don't fully understand what they are doing or why. They are just children following the orders given to them by adults, even if that means taking the life of another. In the beginning, Sakura even recalls times of her spelling and grammar being corrected in her reports along with other childish things. Konoha has shown themselves of not being above dispatching young children to fight, but this story just brings that devastation to new light.

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cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || time travel AU || complete

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done. and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

Probably one of the best time travel AUs out there!! Also, we get to see ROOT!Sakura in here, which I love in addition to Sai (my baby). I know I said it's incomplete, but it's only missing one chapter so you still get plenty of story. Anyway, definitely check out cut the head off the snake!!

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Not so imaginary - FangirlJo || ao3 || gen || T || ghost Tobirama AU || incomplete

Haruno Sakura was 5 when she realises her imaginary friend was not so imaginary at all and resembles the Second Hokage by a lot. Like a lot a lot. In which Senju Tobirama is Sakura's Ghost Sensei. Things change, chaos ensues and Tobirama is once more reminded with the reason he doesn't have kids.

Damn, I just really love Tobirama as a character. This guy rocks and deserves more story time (justice for Tobirama!!).

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Ground Zero - TheIzzatron || ao3 || gen || T || third war extended AU || incomplete

Desperate times call for desperate measures. If this means forcing weapons into the hands of children, then so be it.

A young Sakura is taken advantage of in her parents’ absence at war and is enrolled into the academy's "accelerated" program. The complete unfairness of the situation is skillfully conveyed throughout the story. Sakura is left to wonder why she too isn't learning about flowers and history like Ino? Why Ino isn't learning the fastest way to kill her enemies? The characters and their emotions are so well done that you truly feel just how cheated they are. They aren't heartless, they are children. Highly recommend.

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Inherited Will of Fire - jokergirl2001 || ffn || T || gen || sakura can see ghosts AU || incomplete

She always knew she was a natural at genjutsu but what she didn't know was that being a natural meant she had some immense talent when it comes to spiritual energy. Well at least that's what the cheerful raven haired boy who apparently drowned himself on purpose said.

I only just started reading this now, but Inherited Will of Fire is super cute! Academy Sakura finds she is able to see ghosts after stumbling upon Shisui shortly after the Uchiha massacre.

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One Change in the Story - Aingeal98 || ffn || T || gen || time travel AU || incomplete

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was only supposed to go back five minutes in time. Instead, Sakura wakes up in a dark room surrounded by people wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. The worst part? She doesn't have a clue who she is.

Praying for One Change in the Story to be completed!! Sakura lands herself back in time with the mind and body of her four year old self. With Pein being the first one to find her, Sakura's new life purpose is to be the Akatsuki's weapon. Similar to New Day Dawning, Sakura doesn't stay a child for the entirety of this fic, but I still think it is a notable mention. Sakura slowly loses herself to her new roll and in a sense becomes the embodiment of a ROOT agent. It was interesting to see Itachi's internal battle with the situation and Konan's guilt. However, even with Sakura bound to Ame, there are children back in Konoha who have an itch that a pink-haired girl named Sakura is someone important.

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Y'all, please send me some good kid/academy Sakura fics!!!! Or write one...

[necrotic-nephilim]

"Can you two manage not to tear each other apart while I'm gone?"

Bruce, Jason, and Tim (With JayTim or maybe even BruJayTim)

send a quote and a ship and I'll write a short fic!

god, this one was so good. so, you get the catch-22 of this being a bit longer, 4.5k, but with the warning, i have not edited it so it might be a little rough. but the whole point of this is quick fun so! this is basically Tim and Jason trying to kill each other bc they're under the influence of a toxin. both have a relationship with Bruce and are mad about it. it does end in some short JayTim porn and an implied BruJayTim ending. you could argue dub-con, but it's mostly consensual. enjoy <3

Tim honestly would’ve preferred if it was fear toxin or Joker venom.

Those, he at least knew the tricks for dealing with. How to keep his heart rate down, how to focus and not give in to his body’s adrenaline response. And even if none of those failed, the worst of the fear toxin was just something Tim could wait out while playing distracting music.

This was different.

Anger was different.

“It looks like someone took Crane’s compound and modified it,” Bruce, the lucky bastard who had managed not to inhale the substance, was stood perfectly calm in front of the Batcomputer. “It’s difficult to tell though without a direct sample.”

“If you would just let me look at it maybe we could get somewhere,” Tim hissed through grit teeth, aiming a lethal scowl at Bruce. His nails were digging into his palm. He frowned and tried to take a break. “I’m sorry.”

Bruce looked over his shoulder at Tim with concern and pity. “Are you sure you don’t want to be tranquilized until I synthesize the cure?”

“Bruce, if you try to get close enough to tranq me, I’ll probably try to rip your larynx out with my teeth,” Tim said. The itch for violence sat right underneath his fingertips. He was desperate for it, already twitching at the thought.

Logic and reasoning were hard to hold onto. Every straight thought Tim had was immediately consumed by the fire of fury, burned into something unrecognizable.

Tim didn’t feel like himself when he was angry. That was the worst part. He never liked his anger before and now, it was the only part of him on display. An ugly and twisted thing.

“He could just shoot you with a tranq dart,” Jason said smoothly. “I’d pay to see it.”

Jason was also affected by the rage toxin, though compared to Tim, he looked barely bothered. His head was tilted back to rest against the back of his chair, eyes closed. Both hands were in his lap, fingers calmly laced. His hands were forced together by the same cuffs that Tim was also wearing. Tim had suggested the cuffs when he tried to claw out Bruce’s eyes because Bruce put a hand on his shoulder. Despite Jason’s lack of reaction, it was universally decided to also put Jason in the cuffs. The handcuffs were chained to the chairs Tim and Jason were sitting in, with at least six feet’s distance between them so they couldn’t try to grab each other.

Which Tim had done at least a half a dozen times by now.

“If you’re not going to have helpful input you can keep your goddamn mouth shut,” Tim snapped, holding himself still in the chair from trying to launch across the room again. His muscles were so tense from clenching them that he was starting to shake.

“Tim,” Bruce said softly, giving him a look. Bruce was perfectly fine if Tim snapped at him. But when Tim snapped at Jason, he got a stern reprimand.

Which only pissed Tim off more.

He didn’t understand how he was fine with Bruce sleeping with both of them now. The thought was ridiculously enraging, how he could allow Bruce to even be around Jason Todd. It usually didn’t bother Tim, and was one of the things Tim accepted about Bruce. The lack of monogamy.

But now? Staring at Jason’s smug face that Tim itched to break? It made Tim’s blood boil.

He was more important and useful to Bruce than Jason could ever be. And Tim didn’t have a pile of bodies on his ledger. He actually knew he to behave like a person and not a wild animal.

Ironic how they looked now, then.

Jason’s face split into a feral grin. He leaned forward. “Yeah, Tim,” his tone mocked the one Bruce used. “Let’s behave ourselves.”

Tim could see it in Jason’s eyes. How angry he was, how he was holding back everything that Tim couldn’t. His little show was a facade and Tim damn well knew it.

He wanted to rip Tim apart just as badly.

Now it was Jason who Bruce gave the look to. “This is easier for you to control than it is for him, Jason. Don’t try to provoke him.”

Tim hated how he was spoken about as if he wasn’t even there. Like he was some hapless child throwing a temper tantrum that Bruce was indulging, but sharing quiet whispers about with the real adults.

Like he thought Jason could control himself better than Tim just because Jason had experience with the Lazarus Pit, making him less susceptible to anger manipulation.

At least that was the working theory, currently. Jason’s working theory was simply that he was better than Tim. It was when he said that, that Tim suggested the handcuffs. He had enough of his wits left about him to know he’d sort of regret killing Jason Todd, no matter how badly he wanted to right now.

Jason just shrugged at Bruce’s words and relaxed back into his chair, crossing his legs. “He shouldn’t be so easily provokable then.”

“You know damn well-” Tim started.

“Timothy.” Bruce put a command in his voice that he rarely used with Tim. It made Tim straighten on instinct. The endless patience Bruce had was getting worn more and more thin with every jab and insult traded between Tim and Jason. He looked like he was at his wit’s end. “Don’t listen to him.”

A slow, deep breath did nothing to calm Tim’s nerves. He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and then resisted the urge to spit it at Bruce. “B, I love you, but you have no idea how hard this is. Especially around him of all people.”

The look that crossed Bruce’s face was pained. They always danced around the elephant in the room, that was Bruce accepting Jason back into the fold a little too quickly for everyone’s comfort. It was his soft spot showing. Even when Tim wasn’t under the influence of a drug he didn’t like it and had tried several times to warn Bruce that Jason was a lost cause.

It’d caused a lot of arguments on their best days. Weeks of not speaking to each other on their worst.

And because Tim was the dutiful partner, the loving Robin, he always gave in first. Bruce needed him. In some ways, romantically. But in most ways, Bruce just needed genuine companionship from someone who wasn’t batshit crazy and murdering drug lords like it was a sport. That was Tim’s job. A job he liked, even.

Not that he was too fond of it right now.

They both knew, deep down Bruce had desperate wants of Jason and Tim getting along. The soft comments Bruce made about how well Tim and Jason could work together in a hypothetical always held an unspoken meaning. It wasn’t actually about Tim working with Jason on the field. It was about the fantasy of them being in Bruce’s bed at the same time, loving each other the way they loved him.

That would happen over Tim’s cold, dead body.

“I know,” Bruce said quietly. He reached out for Tim, then seeing the look in Tim’s eye, seemed to think against it and pulled his hand back. It only made Tim angrier. Angry Bruce didn’t currently trust Tim to give him affection. Angry Bruce was right not to trust him. So goddamn angry that despite craving comfort, all Tim wanted to do was bite the hand that fed him. A frustrated growl came out of Tim’s throat and he kicked the ground.

“You know,” Jason drawled, studying Tim with his barely contained madness, “I’m glad for it, honestly. I was starting to think you didn’t have any bite in you at all, Drake. Least we all know what it takes for you to finally snap.”

Tim opened his mouth for a biting insult, but looked at Bruce. He took a deep breath. “I hope all this self-restraint you’re showing is a lesson you keep when all this is over. The last thing we need is for you to go on another murder rampage because someone hurt your feelings.”

Jason’s eyes flared. His hands curled into fists. “Oh, you have no idea the self-restraint I show. If you want to see on a real rampage I’ll fucking-”

“Enough!” Bruce slammed a hand on the console. He ran his hand over his face and sighed. “I have more files on fear toxin in my study I need to find.” Bruce looked between them, giving them both a hard stare. “Can you two manage not to tear each other apart while I’m gone?”

“Ask him,” Jason shrugged. He was trying to sound nonchalant again, but he spoke through grit teeth. “I’m just fine over here.”

Tim just held up his cuffed hands, showing where the chain ended, keeping him firmly connected to the steel chair. “I couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to.”

Bruce nodded. He passed one more look between the two of them. “I’ll be right back. We’ll figure this out, I promise.” Again, he looked like he wanted to reach out. To which of them, Tim wasn’t sure. probably both, which sent an involuntary wave of disgust through his body. If Bruce touched Jason in front of him, Tim was probably going to puke. Bruce turned on his heel and walked out of the cave. They both watched his figure slowly disappear from view.

Before Tim could even turn to Jason and say something, he was tackled to the ground by a blindingly fast and heavy human body.

“What the-” Tim started, raising his hands to protect his face when a fist tried to come down on it. “How the fuck-”

Jason was wearing a grin that had gone completely mad, in every definition of the word. He had easily pinned Tim to the ground, a knee on Tim’s chest. Jason’s hands were still cuffed together but somehow, he’d undone the chain connecting him to his chair. Which boded particularly poorly for Tim, who was still chained to his chair, giving his arms a limited range of movement to defend himself.

Of course, Jason had picked the lock without either of them noticing.

“Thought you were the smart one, Drake,” Jason sneered. His hands were forced together, so when he reached for his waist with one hand they both had to move away from Tim’s face. “You really fucking thought I’d willingly hand over all my weapons to Bruce in a room with you?” He pulled a small, switchblade out from under his waistband and flipped it open. “I wouldn’t have even if I wasn’t drugged.”

“I knew you were acting, you fucking bastard,” Tim snarled. He didn’t have a weapon. It had been his suggestion to hand all of them over to Bruce because Tim was trying to be reasonable.

He should’ve fucking known better. There was never any reasoning with Jason.

Tim still had his bare hands. He launched them toward Jason’s throat. They managed to curl around flesh, nails just starting to dig in, when Jason stabbed Tim in the hand. Tim yelled, yanking his hand away and taking the other one with it.

That was the other shitty part of the anger. It made pain harder to ignore.

“Had to convince Bruce it was okay to leave you alone with me,” Jason said, shrugging slightly. “Figured I would only get one chance.” He raised the knife and tried to bring it down on Tim’s face. Tim managed to stop him, getting the knife tangled in the chains. “For fuck’s sake.” Jason shifted his weight. He pulled the knife free and brought up his over leg, using it to pin down the chain under his boot. Without any slack, Tim’s hands were forced against the ground, tugging uselessly.

“I will rip you apart with my teeth if I have to,” Tim growled, trying to snap at Jason’s face to prove his point.

Jason easily dodged and laughed. “I’d like to see you try. Maybe It’ll make you interesting, for once.” He brought the knife down and held it to Tim’s throat. “Grayson, I could’ve understood. He’s a pretty guy. Got a good sense of humor on him. Even Gordon. I don’t like her, but I could’ve respected it.” Jason’s face twisted into an ugly look, staring down at Tim with utter contempt. “But you? I have to share Bruce with you of all people? My goddamn replacement? That’s just fucking insulting.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten yourself killed then,” Tim shot back. “You were easy to replace.”

“Yeah, provoke the guy with a knife to your throat,” Jason pressed the blade against Tim’s skin until a drop of blood was sliding down his adam’s apple. “I’ll show you what a dead Robin looks like.”

Tim raised an eyebrow. “You really think Bruce will forgive you for killing me?” He tugged at the chain as hard as he could. It still wasn’t budging. “He’d tear you apart.”

“Yeah, I really do,” Jason mocked Tim. He leaned in close enough for Tim to smell mint on Jason’s breath. “He always does. He’ll just blame it on the toxin. We both know he always forgives me no matter what I do.” His grin was a ghastly thing. “Can you say the same, Drake?”

Tim just growled. He headbutted Jason, not caring about the knife. If he was going to die, he would at least leave his mark.

Jason jerked back, rubbing his nose. Tim had hopefully broken it. Blood was already starting to pour down Jason’s face. Jason had the audacity to laugh. “Cute.” He rubbed his nose for a moment, feeling the bone. “You know I’m not going to kill you, though. That would be way too nice.”

“Nice?” Tim scoffed. “Did you finally learn the meaning of mercy, or something?”

“For you? Never.” Jason brought the knife to Tim’s face. “I just want to make you wish you were dead.” he dug the blade into Tim’s temple and Tim yelled, feeling it cut through his skin all the way down to his jaw. “What part of you do I have to mutilate to make Bruce stop loving you?”

Tim didn’t say anything. He was too busy trying to blink through the pain of a shallow cut that should’ve felt like nothing. Instead, it felt like a hot iron had branded the entire left side of Tim’s face, melting most of his skin off.

“What’s so pretty it could make Bruce like someone as pathetic as you?” Jason pressed on. He put another cut across Tim’s face, slashing through his cheek. “You’ve got a nice face. Is that it?” He leaned back so he could rip Tim’s shirt apart, exposing Tim’s chest. “We both know Bruce is a physical guy. Maybe it’s something else.” The blade trailed across Tim’s chest, looking for the next place to cut.

Tim managed to get leverage against the concrete with his feet. He pushed himself up as hard and fast as he could, throwing Jason off of him. Before Jason had the chance to recover, Tim launched himself forward and wrapped the chain around Jason’s throat.

“Maybe his love for you is only skin deep,” Tim pulled the chain as tight as it could go, watching Jason’s face turn red without oxygen. The rational part of him knew he was taking too much pleasure in watching Jason struggle for air. The rest of him didn’t care. “But Bruce actually loves me.”

Jason snarled. “He’s loved me longer.”

He wildly stabbed at Tim until the knife sank into Tim’s forearm. Tim screamed and let go, giving Jason slack to breathe, getting a hand under the chain and yanking hard on it. Tim didn’t fall off of Jason but instead fell into him. Their bodies were pressed together, and Jason used it as an excuse to wrap the chain around Tim, forcing them against each other.

“Can’t get away from me now,” Jason whispered into Tim’s ear. He ripped his knife out of Tim’s arm.

“You really want to be this close to me?” Tim asked. He tried to headbutt Jason again but didn’t have enough damned room to move. “Your fucking funeral.”

“I’m the one with the knife,” Jason said in a sing-song voice. He wiggled his arms between them and brought the knife against Tim’s crotch. Tim had his pants as a layer of fabric protecting him, but he still went rigid. “Is it here? Is this what Bruce likes so much? Go on. Tell me how he likes to fuck you, Drake. Bet you’re real fucking vanilla about it and he has to be all nice to you.”

“You sound jealous,” Tim tried to bite Jason, who kept pulling his head away. “You’re the one who needs to hear him say he’s proud of you just to come. I’m not the one of us who cries during sex.”

“How the hell-” Jason’s whole body jerked in anger.

Tim knew his grin was feral. “Trust me, I know all the embarrassing details. Bruce talks about it all the time.” That wasn’t entirely true. Tim had just overheard it once when Bruce forgot to turn off his comms. But the lie was far more embarrassing for Jason.

“I could make you cry,” Jason sounded angrier than Tim had ever heard him, which was a hell of a feat. “He’s just not fucking you hard enough. Putting you in your goddamn place like you deserve.”

“You want to fuck me, now?” Tim taunted. “I thought you hated me.”

“Too vanilla to know what hatefucking is, Drake?” Jason shot back. He pressed the knife harder into Tim’s crotch. “I could make you fucking beg for it.”

“Like hell.”

“You wanna find out?” Jason asked.

Tim paused his struggles. He pulled back and gave Jason an incredulous look. “You’re not actually serious.”

“Either I kill you, torture you, or bitch you.” Jason shrugged. He dug the knife down enough to cut open Tim’s pants. The fabric tore loudly. “I’ll let you pick.”

“I’ll kill you first,” Tim shot back. He refused to take the offer seriously.

He didn’t know what his answer would be, if it was a serious offer, so it was better for Tim to not think about it entirely.

“Scared you’ll like it?” Jason was just mocking him now. “If I ruin you enough, you’ll come crawling back for me instead of Bruce. And besides,” Jason lowered his voice to a purr, “we both know he’d pay to watch. Bet he’d even help me hold you down.”

Against his will, Tim shuddered. His anger was clouding his judgment, making it hard to figure out what other emotions were there. Maybe there was arousal. Maybe it was fear.

Tim always had trouble telling the difference.

“Have you always wanted to fuck me?” Tim avoided everything Jason was saying. It made him too dizzy to think about.

Jason just gave him a shrug. “Can’t say I haven’t wondered what’s so special about fucking you that he keeps doing it. Is your ass really that good or something?”

Tim snorted. He had no idea Jason didn’t know. “He doesn’t fuck me in the ass.”

“What?” Jason’s brow furrowed.

“If I had a dick down there, you’d have cut it by now,” Tim pointed out, looking down at the knife.

Jason frowned. He dug the knife deeper, ripping open a bigger hole in the fabric of Tim’s pants until he could force his hand inside, thankfully the one that wasn’t holding the knife. Tim tried to kick, but he couldn’t stop Jason’s hand from groping until it found his cunt, pressing against Tim’s underwear.

“Son of a bitch,” Jason said. “Well, that makes you even easier to fuck. Now I don’t need prep.”

“You’re not fucking me,” Tim snarled, trying to get away from Jason’s hand. his skin was too hot, to have Jason that close to his most sensitive areas. He didn’t want to know what his body would do if Jason got past the thin barrier of fabric between him and Tim’s skin.

“You haven’t actually told me no yet,” Jason pointed out. He managed to cut apart Tim’s underwear, a cold reminder of how close the knife was to his cunt. Thick fingers pressed against Tim’s hole until two managed to sink in. “You’re wet.”

“No, I’m not,” Tim gasped, even though he could feel it. The easy slide of Jason’s fingers inside of him, the way there was no resistance from his body. He still wasn’t ready to admit to himself that he wanted this. Not when he wanted Jason dead just as badly. Tim opened his mouth to say something more, but Jason brushed a thumb over his clit. “Oh god.”

“if I’m being honest with you,” Jason hummed, starting to move his fingers inside of Tim, “I think it’s a lot easier to be horny than angry right now. That’s the only damn feeling that works to fight this.”

He was right and Tim hated him for it. The anger thrumming under his skin pulled back, just slightly, to make room for arousal. It made Tim want to give in, just so he could have anything to latch onto besides cold, empty fury.

And Jason’s fingers felt good inside of him. They arched right up into Tim’s sweet spot, making him gasp and jerk.

“How quick do you think I can make you come?” Jason asked. He worked his fingers and thumb together, finding a good pace. Like he knew exactly how Tim liked it.

“Fuck you,” Tim groaned, throwing his head back.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” Jason said.

They both knew he wouldn’t. Tim didn’t want Jason to stop. If Jason stopped, Tim would probably grab the knife and gut him.

“I hate you.” Tim’s hips were moving against his will. He was acutely aware the knife was still down there too, but he put a small amount of trust in Jason to not let it trust.

“It’s mutual,” Jason agreed. He shifted his hips until they were pressed against Tim’s thigh. He was hard. Tim could feel the outline of Jason’s cock as Jason started to rut, grinding against Tim for friction. A low moan came out of him, going straight to Tim’s core.

Jason was kind of handsome, at least. Especially with blood all over his face.

“Now are you gonna come for me or what?” Jason growled into Tim’s ear. “Show me exactly how much you hate me, Drake. I want to fucking feel it.”

“You’re a bastard who doesn’t deserve Bruce,” Tim whined as Jason’s fingers worked him. Rubbing his clit and thrusting into his sweet spot. It was a sweet, torturous distraction from his rage, but it still didn’t make the feeling quite go away.

“Agreed.” Jason shrugged, seeming unbothered by the statement. He groaned again, pressing his forehead against Tim’s. “I’m still better than you, though. You’re the little bitch who’s never going to forget what being fucked by me feels like. Maybe I’ll be nice enough that you’ll enjoy it and jerk off to it every time you’re wet.”

The thought of jerking off to Jason repulsed Tim. Yet it was the same thought that sent his orgasm through him, like a shock to his core. He yelled, so loud it echoed through the cave. His hole clenched around Jason’s fingers as his body worked through the spasms of pleasure.

For one glorious moment, Tim didn’t notice his anger. He just had the beautiful crescendo of pleasure crashing down on him, making his body sing.

“Isn’t that fucking adorable,” Jason gasped, grinding harder against Tim. You’re finally not annoying for once. No wonder Bruce fucks you. It’s the only way someone can enjoy being around you.”

The words were mean and Tim wanted to snap back, but he was boneless. Every insult from Jason was a new aftershock of pleasure down Tim’s spine.

Tim opened his mouth to find something to say, but he was cut off.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bruce stood at the mouth of the cave, staring at them with wide eyes. He looked just as angry as Tim felt, stalking over to where they were pinned and bloody on the floor. “Jason if you hurt him-”

“I’m fingering him, actually,” Jason corrected lazily, still grinding his hips.

Bruce stopped walking. “What?”

Jason thrust his fingers inside Tim to make his point, pulling a cry out of Tim. He was oversensitive from his orgasm and couldn’t get away from the pressure against his g-spot. “You should be proud of us. We’re getting along pretty well.”

Sure they were. Like Tim’s face wasn’t cut up and Jason’s nose wasn’t broken.

“You…” Bruce trailed off, breath caught in his throat. Tim watched his pupils dilate.

“He’s enjoying himself. Just came on my fingers,” Jason said. He pressed the knife against Tim’s thigh as a warning. “Right, Drake?”

Tim bit back a remark. He nodded.

“I promise to behave if you let me fuck him,” Jason looked up at Bruce. He was definitely lying. “We should both fuck him. See how much he can take. I’ll even keep the cuffs on just to be nice.”

Tim couldn’t stop the soft moan that came out of him at the thought.

Bruce looked between them. His eyes settled on Tim. “Are you-”

“Yes,” Tim said. “Please?”

As soon as Tim said the magic word, Bruce was by their side, taking his clothes off. Jason groaned in victory. He grinned against Tim’s cheek. “Now we can have some real fun.”

[topaz-witch-tea]

christmas headcanons? (is christmas even a thing on the

HELLO!

I am not dead, life has just taken me by surprise and what was supposed to be a quiet and chill month turned hectic really fast. I have time for writing now so I will be publishing stuff soon, it will take time as my computer has become extremely slow and a fic that would take me 4-6 hours to write now takes me 10+.

I don't know if Christmas itself is a thing but I would like to imagine there is something similar to it. :D

The XIanzhou does maintain friendly relations with foreign influences, like the IPC, so it could be assumed that people from other cultures have brought along their beliefs and holidays. Since the family doesn't have religious ties to the holiday, I can see them using it as a day to give gifts and spend with friends and family.

Baiheng and Jingliu will actually spend the night over at the manor since it makes planning and getting together a lot easier. The Luofu also has a lot of snow this time around. The artificial weather is made to respond to the environment (ex. lots of condensation in Scalegorge Waterscape leads to rain) and the wintertime tends to produce a lot of snow, which makes traveling difficult.

Yanqing is the first to make up. It is 6:00 AM and he is running to his parent's room, telling them to get up and open presents with him. His fathers, however, are very groggy and drags him down in the hopes he can sleep for one more hour. Dan Feng would usually spin some magic and lull the boy to sleep but it was still dark and no one, especially his child should be up at such an ungodly time.

Christmas time, actually starts at 8:00, when Yanqing wakes up again and his aunts and Yingxing are already downstairs preparing the food. Dan Feng is finishing up with last-minute gifts and Jing Yuan has finished responding to emails before sending the remaining staff home to their families.

For Yanqing, the best part of the holidays is the gifts. He has a pile of gifts under the tree ranging from clothes to swords to money. By the end of it, he is standing in a pool of wrapping paper and ribbon.

The others give a bit more practical gifts. Coffee that was imported from the IPC, sweet wine that was sent as tribute to the Lupfu, and rare books acquired during travels. They were adults with their own money so there wasn't any need to buy them anything.

The rest of the day is spent together in the living room. They have a large lunch and dinner together and Yanqing entertains himself with all the toys he has now acquired. However, he is warned to be careful when a flying sword almost spears an expensive tapestry. The adults mostly spend the day chatting and consuming an unhealthy amount of festive and alcoholic drinks.

Christmas in my home is very mellow and there are not a lot of festivities, so I based it on that. :D

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Thank you for the ask!

[gemmahale]

Writers confidence challenge! List your 5 writings you love the most! Reread them and tell yourself you are a gem to this world! And if you want, send this to the writers you like let them know how awesome they are! It can WIPs or published fics! 💌

🧡 for you, beloved gemma, creator of incredible worlds.

Sy, thank you! Since you specifically referenced worlds, here's my top 5 world-building/AU WIPs. (I love them all equally, though. Okay?)

Feylands - I've spent so much time on worldbuilding here. It keeps getting more intense lol. Magic, royalty lineage, staff hierarchy, technology, botany - I get to play with all these fun nuanced pieces that all influence the world(s) I'm building in this story. I'm hoping for the possibility of playing more in this universe when I'm done with the main story. (This means smut, mostly.😉)

The Contract - @pfhwrittes blew it out of the park helping me develop this one. This world keeps expanding too, but in a different way. There's a universe to tell different stories in here, which ought to be fun. It's definitely a wee bit darker than Feylands, but just as good.

Call of the Wild - Would you believe me if I said this one came from a dream? Well..parts of it. I'm kind of making up the lore on the fly for the werewolves/shifters, so it's not as detailed for lore as other stories. Will my brit-picker absolutely lose their mind when they read it? Probably.😅 But it's a different universe! Lightly inspired by @deadbranch's Werewolf AU. (<- So good. Go read it. All of it.)

Journal Exchange - Six planets formed. Entire resource and processing plans are being developed. Societal structures built out of what little's given in Prospect (highly recommend watching if you like sci-fi) and expanded it into a universe. I want to get back to this one, even if the style (journals sent to an individual) is difficult to write.

Palace Hallways - An as-of-yet unshared WIP. Inspired by @sentientcave's Heavy Weighs The Crown WIP and some ideas that have been floating around in my brain soup. Lady-in-Waiting 'Petal' is menaced by Knight Kyle, Artificer Johnny and Druid 'Ghost' assist. Playing fast and loose with historical fiction and D&D lore. (I have a thing for Gaz x Soap x Ghost x OC, okay? That's two now.)

[paganwitchisis]

Writer Interview Game

I wasn't tagged but I'll tag others :) No pressure and for fun of course! I tag @bardic-inspo @nyx-knox @astarionancuntnin

When did you start writing?

12. I began writing fanfiction at 12 and it evolved since then. I started on Fanfiction dot net and made my way to Archive of Our Own after they purged and rejected adult content. I loved writing as an escape and a great way to be creative. I've been writing 23 years now.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I usually write adult content so I can deal with my trauma. Some of it is good, some of it...well...I rather not show them the light of day. I love reading romance novels or spy series books which is different than what I write.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I WISH I was compared to someone or was popular enough to matter! I don't try to emulate anyone. I used to as a kid but now? Everyone has their own unique writing and my plan is to develop mine while telling stories.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Usually on my MSI gaming laptop on the couch as my spine condition (I'm disabled) won't let me sit or stand long periods. I try to lay but it is difficult. One day they will fix me and I can have a proper space to type.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I rewatch or replay the source material. I usually get dreams about the subject and that gives me story ideas. I never had issues with imagination but burnout is real.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I torture characters often. I don't know why I do it and should talk to my therapist about it to be honest. I do put them back together in the end but I love to hurt the characters and show a healing process. I love dark tropes.

What is your reason for writing?

I had SEVERE abuse as a child (trigger warning), I mean burning, batons, knives, taser, belt buckles, punching, biting, and so, so much more done to me as a kid. Mental and physical abuse. I needed an outlet to deal with it as around 13 I started getting PTSD symptoms (flashbacks that were real) and I was scared. I didn't know what it was. I needed something, anything to make sense of the world so I made stories.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Anything uplifting helps as I rarely get comments. I do once in a while get some from people and I have one person right now who comments often on my work and it means a lot. I love feedback (genuine) but the uplifting comments make me smile.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I'd love it if they loved my work. If they cared about the stories I weave and the narrative I produce. That's all I can ask for.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I have a good vocabulary so I can find many, many euphemisms for what I am writing about Other than that it would be my imagination. I never lack stories I can tell. I have 37 now ideas started as WIPs for Baldur's Gate 3 for instance.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I hate it to be honest. I feel I am not that good but most authors are their own worst critics.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I do a mix of both. For example I am putting a threesome in one of my long fics but I don't personally go for that. I just found the audience loves it so I figured I'd write things they like. I also have a story on foot fetishes for BG3 and I am not into that either but I wrote it for others (mostly a friend).

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

2 + 3 + 12 + 33!!!!

had to fish around to find that ask game again!!!!! also hiiiii better late than never :))) :}}}}} <3 i need to tell u smth abt kleo i have Thoughts (not big thoughts this sounds as if its big it isnt i just reconsidered my initial statement that u might not like iiiiit)

2. anything that you'd like to write but feel that youre unable to??

oh yes!!! so much!!!!! even the things im writing bring me constantly into a situation of hair-tearing-out crying-clawing-screaming hitting-head-against-the-wall. i flip-flop between thinking i cant even write what im writing and thinking that im kinda decent. hhhhh. anyway!!!!!

i want to write a solid longfic with extensive worldbuilding. it doesnt matter the genre, just solid and rich worldbuilding where the writing stays consistent and steady until the end is already good. but if i could specifiy, i yearn for it to be a canon compliant/canon divergence/canon era fic with a unique take on canon. i want to write canon era fics in general, but im always hesitant to. i know what happens when i fall into a research hole, it fires up my anxiety. and i want to write scifi or a cool space opera. and i want to be able to write novel fic (of tyk) and not want to die during the process. all these things feel impossible to me :]]]]]]]]

3. how would u describe ur writing style?

i had to think about this for a bit!!!! because my writing style is unfortunately directly connected to my mental stability which is not always. stable. huehe. hmmmm i think my style (given that im doing good!) leans very hard into economical but evocative storytelling; like, i mean the rhythm of oral storytelling. stream of consciousness. prose poetry. poetry slam. i want the words to explode in your mouth and i want it to paint a very clear image in your head. i want people to hear me telling the story! even if the reader (or listener!) cant be there to experience it for themselves, at least i can tell them about it! thats probably because my first experience with story as a concept comes from audio dramas and generally someone reading something to me. thats honestly still the medium i prefer, tbh.

12. if you write in more than one language, whats the difference?

TvvvvvvT

currently i dont write in more than one language, if u dont count non-fictional handwriting bc i write all my notes in my native language. but i still remember how it used to be to write creatively in german. like im always whining about how difficult it is to cast the same image in english as in german; i just dont have that fine motor control over english as i have over german. i can easily switch between gears in german but english still ,, befuddles me pfft. its most noticable when im mucking around drafting and spend more time thinking about fun stuff like correct grammar and correct sentence structure and which word means what in english, than about the story and the characters. it takes so much energy and effort to think about and of all of this, there is barely any space left for the story that im trying to tell. which is def a major drawback for me and one of the reasons that ive been considering to start writing in german again. even though i have uh some baggage there that i dont really want to face. language is so connected to identity and culture. and thats another reason why english is difficult; i know english, aside from school, mostly from usamerican books or from online interactions with usamericans or people talking usamerican. so that has ofc heavily influenced my own english. like, i set all my stories in germany for reasons, but its stupidly hard to draw up the cultural markers because the language itself that im using is already coming with cultural influences from another country. its really strange and confusing, and i would find it fascinating and interesting if it wasnt so frustrating. sometimes it feels like there is a veil between me and what im trying to say, and also as if my thought patterns dont work as they would because the language that should just be a tool to tell a story is already so dominant. thats def smth i hope to change in the future

33. give your writing a compliment!

hmmm. its very earnest. reading my own stuff, even old stuff, i can tell what sort of struggles made it hard to get smth specific onto the page. and sometimes what ends up on the page is not what was supposed to be there in the first place. but its earnest and i can see that. its always the best i can do in that moment, and its always a piece of me because i give so much of myself during the process. thats not always a good thing but its how i am. im glad the earnestness, the sincerity, the love, the faith, the hope, is so visible to the bare eye.

yet another writing ask

[ladytauria]

hey! 5, 11, 18, 23 from the ask game <333

mayaaa thank you <3

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

very very surprised to have ended up writing for / enjoying writing for jason so much!! like, in hindsight it makes sense, as he’s the character i read for the most, but. yeah! did not expect that <3

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

i started posting fanfic at 12 & writing at 10, so. everything. but xD i think my ability to tell a coherent narrative has improved by leaps & bounds, even when i don’t have an idea of where i’m going when i start something. i also think i’ve gotten a better handle on description, which was an issue for me when i started, lol.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

this is a surprisingly difficult question to answer bc i KNOW there are influences, many of them, but when i try to think of them i keep drawing blanks??? and then the ones i have thought of i keep going 👀 are you sure? is that right? did it influence you or do you just think about it all the time?

which like…

isn’t that what influencing is? but i digress, lmao.

anyway!!!

i know sarah j maas is a bit controversial BUT smth about reading her books made something click in my brain? & i feel like my writing voice actually solidified after

major envy for maggie stiefvater’s prose—reading the raven cycle made me nostalgic for a place i’d never been, which wasn’t something that had happened to me before xD anyway, genuinely love her writing

on the fanfic side

i think about “The Bird, The Fog, The Mist” by bacondoughnut constantly

“Reclaiming Innocence” by murtagh morzanson / cdelphiki is also always rotating in my head (i’ve read it 3 or 4 times) alongside the second (i think) fic in “In for a Penny”. both of them influence how i write younger jason

“The Penny Drops, The Penny Dreads” by batbirdies is the other fic i think of when i think of young jason/jason’s childhood.

the “i guess you were my first boy wonder” series by pissvinegarandacrowbar is jaydick & one of my favorite jason characterizations ever~

and then uh, i would not have fallen headfirst into jaytim / be a jaytim writer at all without “The Many Deaths of Jason Todd” by zoeleo! that catapulted me into loving jaytim <3 before that jaydick was my main ship (i still adore it~)

also every time i read your prose it inspires me to get more poetic with mine <3

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

hmm 🤔 i’m not really sure any of my life experiences are particularly obscure. ah, but! when i was younger i came across this little graphic—the only 12 1/2 writing rules you’ll ever need. (i actually used it as my desktop background for ages lol). anyway, number 10— Go for walks. Dance. Pull weeds. Do the dishes. Write about it. that one really stuck with me for some reason, & led to me paying more attention to my body/feelings, especially if i was bored or uncomfortable, bc it was something i could potentially use for writing!

that sort of mental check in also has done wonders for like. keeping an eye on my mental / physical health too lol.

[ get to know the writer ask meme ]

[neondiamond]

2023 Writing Self Evaluation ✨

Thank you to @disgruntledkittenface for tagging me! 💕

1. List of works published this year:

I’m just going to link the masterpost I made a few days ago because I published 26 works this year and I don’t feel like listing them all again here lol

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Inner Crisis, for sure. I had written fics with ace characters before, but this one just took it to the next level for me in terms of how personal and vulnerable it is, and I’m very proud of the way it turned out, and of myself for putting it out there. 🥰

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I’m going to take the easy way out here and say none. I can honestly say I’m proud of every single fic I have put out into the world this year. <3

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I always find this question hard, but the one that comes to mind first is this bit from You’re Family:

“Anyone want tea?” Anne asks.

Louis lets the others answer first as he allows his eyes to scan the room around him.

A tall tree is tucked away in one corner of the room, decorated beautifully with a mixture of whites, reds and golds, along with a few handmade decorations sprinkled throughout, most likely some of Gemma’s and Harry’s creations from back when they were kids. 

Underneath it, a dozen or so meticulously wrapped gifts await the moment they’ll be unwrapped.

To his left, an imposing fireplace anchors the room, the fire lit within bathing the room in warmth along with a soft amber glow. 

Five traditional red and white stockings are hung along the mantle, and Louis smiles as he reads the names embroidered on each of them, fondly thinking of a time his Mum used to do this for him and his multiple siblings too.

Anne. Gemma. Michal. Harry. Louis.

Wait. 

Louis?

That’s him.

“Louis?” Anne asks, and Louis whips his head around to look at her in disbelief. “How do you take your tea, darling?”

“You got me a stocking?” Louis asks instead of answering her question.

Anne smiles softly at him. “Of course, you’re family.”

Louis tries really hard not to tear up. He mostly succeeds, save for maybe a tear or two he fails to conceal.

Beside him, Harry squeezes his knee and pulls him closer.

“So, your tea?” Anne asks again with a knowing smile.

“Oh, hm,” Louis clears his throat. “Just a splash of milk, please.”

“You got it, darling,” she says before disappearing in the direction of the kitchen.

Louis finds his gaze going back to the stockings again, still shocked to find his name on the last one.

“See,” Harry whispers in his ear. “I told you they’d love you.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I don’t think I can pick only one, but I have to say the response to Inner Crisis as a whole. The number of comments and messages I’ve received from people telling me they relate to Louis’ story has just blown my mind and each one of them has made me cry

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve found it quite difficult to find time to write this whole year, to be honest. 2023 turned out to be pretty busy for me personally, and it’s resulted in many periods of not writing at all, and then I always find it hard to get back into it.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

All of I See You. This is the second year in a row that I wrote horror for the 1D Trick or Treat fest, and I am still baffled that I, someone who usually writes mostly fluff, am somehow able to do that lol.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Most of what I wrote has been very self indulgent. I had so little time to write that when I did, I just wrote what I wanted to write, rather than what I thought other people would enjoy, which is quite freeing actually.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’d like to step out of my comfort zone a little and attempt working on a longer fic.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Anyone that has left a comment on any of my fics this year. Here are a few people in particular whose support has really made a difference over the past year ❤️: @disgruntledkittenface @bigxrig @parmahamlarrie

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

A lot of Inner Crisis is inspired by my own experiences with asexuality.

Oh and A Special Bond literally has links to pictures I took while travelling for visuals!

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I’m pretty sure this is what I say every year, so not new wisdom, but, just write what YOU want to write. Have fun with it, and the rest will work itself out!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I haven’t written in over a month at this point, so I don’t have any active WIPs that I’m bringing into 2024, but there are definitely a lot of ideas I’m excited to get to explore next year, including a fake relationship fic idea I meant to write this year but ran out of time to.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@cyantific @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @hellolovers13

[hyukalyptus]

i feel like younger fandom writers on tumblr are starting to feel like they have to be sort of ""influencers"" and respond to every single bit of feedback and get as many reblogs as possible but that's never been what tumblr has been about and it's sad because i've seen this idea people give themselves drive writers off the website in newer, younger fandoms. if i'm in your inbox, even if it's some big idea i'm putting down, you can just reply like a conversation. i'm not expecting a piece of writing, i really just want to tell someone and have them respond "OH MY GOD I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH" and maybe even "thats so hot and he'd do this too" but i feel like writers are putting a lot of pressure on themselves lately, or maybe it's just this fandom idk, to write a fic for every single idea that comes into their mailbox because they feel like "that's what writers do" or something and it's like??? you don't have to be a Public Figure here. it's just a fuckign social media website and the weirdest most fucked up one. i'm sure you get asks like "hey why didn't you write such and such" but like. you're just here to converse and share the things you make this isn't your fucking job so ignore that shit and do what feels comfortable to you. idk if this sounds harsh or not but really the point is just do whatever the fuck you want

hello!

idk if this is a rant specifically toward me or if it’s supposed to be a suggestion for others..but i feel like i have a pretty clear boundary and that is stated clearly in my guidelines. i do understand that this is something silly and meant to be fun and i treat it that way.

i’ve never felt pressured to do something i didn’t want to do. i know i posted a “i have a full time job and i go to school!” post yesterday but that’s because i have drawn that boundary and i do understand that this is a low priority and it’s for fun. if i don’t like an ask, i delete it! which i do so often tbh. i don’t rly advertise that bc i want ppl to feel like they can inbox me.

and again, i’m not sure if this is directed at me fully, but i have never said anything along the lines of “because that’s what writers do.” as i’ve said in my guidelines, i understand i am not here for you or any other reader. and i am fully comfortable deleting any ask and blocking whoever tf i want.

perhaps this in response to saying something like “this didn’t get a whole lotta notes :(“ or something? and if it’s that, that’s not meant to be taken too seriously! it’s more of a “omg why doesn’t anyone else wanna giggle about kai with me rn?” just like irl if i’m w a group of ppl and i’m sharing something i rly like and that i created and i get very little response i’ll be slightly :/ but i’m not taking it personally. i’m sorry if it came across as pressuring others to provide feedback.

perhaps this is in response to my poll i have up rn. i’m doing this because many readers have suggested us writers interact back with them. and they’ve requested that from multiple writers. which i see as a fair request to be completely honest. however, i don’t feel pressured into doing that. i want to show appreciation to my readers that leave feedback and idk maybe it’s because i’m autistic, maybe it’s because i’m old and don’t do social media well, but it can be very difficult for me to talk to people in any form (online or offline) so i wanted to know what form would be best received.

but at the end of the day- i definitely do not see myself as an “influencer”—that is actually my worst nightmare. i have never felt pressured to write a response to anything, i’ve never felt pressured to respond within a certain time frame, a certain length, or anything. i still haven’t posted half my kinktober shit! i’ve never prioritized this over work or school. i do write whatever the fuck i want or i wouldn’t write about “unpopular” things like kai smut (bc let’s face it, they’re always super unpopular), chubby!reader, or other kinks. and i make that clear in my guidelines!

and yep, i see this as something silly that i do as a hobby but that isn’t my place to dictate how other writers should feel about their blog. if they want to take it seriously bc they view as their art, that’s fine with me. if they wanna write for validation or for as many notes as possible, that’s fine w me because they’re doing whatever the fuck they want.

writers: i do encourage you to not feel pressured to write to things you don’t want to, but i don’t feel like many of you do that anyway. this is meant to be something fun and if you’re not having fun, don’t do it! but i’m still having fun with this so i’m gonna do it. and i’m sure y’all are having fun too. i ofc hope my moots stick around, but i would of course understand if you decided to never log back in again someday.

[spiced-wine-fic]

Writer Asks

Thank you so much @swanfloatieknight

WRITER ASKS!

When did you start writing? How?

Has your writing changed over time?

Do you read your own fics?

Do you write every day? If so, do you have daily goals?

Do you plan? Or do you “wing it”?

If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

How would you describe your writing style?

Have any comments/tags/responses on a fic of yours ever made you laugh, cry or both?

Have you ever made yourself laugh with something you’ve written?

How many unfinished works are in your drafts?

Do you write for yourself, or for the readers?

Do you feel pressured to write some days?

Multichapter fics or one shots?

Do you take requests?

Angst or fluff?

What is your favorite character (or characters) to write for?

What piece of writing are you most proud of?

Which is more difficult, the title or the summary?

Do you have a beta reader?

Do you prefer to edit as you go, or once the piece is finished?

Do you listen to music as you write?

If you had to assign a theme song to [fic title], what would it be?

Have you ever stopped yourself from writing something? Why?

Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

What projects are you currently working on?

Is there a specific scene or scenario you’re looking forward to most? (No, you don’t have to give away spoilers!)

Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Share a piece from one of your current WIPs!

Best writing advice for other writers?

Make up your own question! Ask me anything!

1,  When did you start writing? How?

I was very, very young, five or six? I used to draw and write about places we were going to go on holiday before we went and little poems about nature and the seasons etc. I can’t imagine not writing. 

3, Do you read your own fics?

Only to check something.(it’s a series so everything proceeds from something else and sometimes you have to hunt down references). 

11, Do you write for yourself, or for the readers?

For myself mainly, I think because from about age 11 I hid all my writing and by then I was writing ‘stories’. It was like walking through a door into a magical world and closing it behind me. I didn’t want people reading it; it was a quiet, safe place. That continued until I posted Dark Prince on LOTRFF.com in 2007.

Of course, people actually engaging with your fic does change your attitude a bit over time, I think. I never believed anyone would read it so I’m thrilled when people like something I’ve written but it doesn’t influence why I write or who I write for (me). I just have stories in my head I want to tell. 

21, Do you listen to music as you write?

No, I prefer quiet or ambient nature sounds. 

Thank you @anerea-lantiria 🤗

5, Do you plan? Or do you “wing it”?

I always liken it to looking down a street at night and seeing the streetlights stretching away. The illuminated places are those parts of the story I know, but there are shadowy or dark areas between that I have to write ‘through’ to get to them. 

6, If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

I don’t plan. 

17, What piece of writing are you most proud of?

I’m always not proud but pleased at just having completed a fic.  Over my adult life I have no idea how many millions of words I wrote and threw away (most of it was longhand, file after file of it; I still have a few bits from a million years ago 😂) 

I would write almost novel length stories then get bored and start something else. I did finish two, I think (long lost) but only when writing fanfic have I consistently finished anything. (I do have a couple of fics on hiatus though). 

20, Do you prefer to edit as you go, or once the piece is finished?

I tend to do both. I’ll look at a few paragraphs and edit, then go through the whole thing when it’s finished. 

[pebblysand]

15 & 22 for the author asks 😊

thank you 😍!

15. a hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. which fic would you want it to be?

why is this a much more difficult question than i initially thought? 😂. i think i would have to say maybe the fault in faulty manufacturing because i think generally, there aren't enough contemporary stories about ireland out there. most of the films/series made about ireland are always set during the easter rising/civil war/the troubles in NI and i think, whilst these periods of history are obviously very interesting, i would like to see a story about this country that wasn't about that, you know? and whilst the fault is definitely influenced by and aware of these episodes of irish history (and obviously, the beginning is set in NI during the troubles), i like that it's not really what this story is about.

22. have you cried while writing a fic?

okay so as a caveat, i will say that i'm not someone who cries a lot, like, generally (unless a dog dies in a movie). i don't think it's any sign of superiority or whatever (you can cry a lot and be absolutely badass - look at hermione!) but it's just not how i process my emotions.

so having said that, i don't think i've ever, like, sobbed while writing a fic. i did tear up quite a bit when i wrote chapter 6 of castles, and re-reading it always makes me wanna cry (giulia 😢💔). chapter 8 is also obviously heavy, but it doesn't make me wanna cry per se.

i think the one time i did sob was the day i finished my first long fic, children. but it wasn't about the contents themselves, it was more the emotions of having finished such a long project that took two years to achieve. they were happy tears.

[2maegor2cruel]

Heres the oaf's political insight! So not in the Shield Islands succession context, its pre-kingsmoot, but still not very helpful. Anyhow I fully subscribe your frustration, its kind of a worldbuilding sinkhole by GRRM - I just tend to take the I think opposite approach for my daydreaming that is that if there's no Canon confirmation that a a group of siblings all come from the same mother I make a random amount of them salt sons lol. I even considered it for Rodrik Harlaw bc I Imagine there's a ton of rock daughter vs salt son inheritance dysputes and i really don't see why Gwynesse feels like she had a shot in a dispute with him if they're full siblings - but eh thats definitely One where It would have been said if It were the case and Gwynesse Is Just being metaphorical lol. Anyhow Always a Joy to see people overthink worldbuilding and I Wish you good luck on your writing and on your read of Last Serving Daughter i had a very good time with it

@hell-heron THANK YOU!!!! I could not find that for the life of me, I swear. tbh I can't tell if George legit forgot about Harras for a hot second or what. My best guess is that the assumed mutually beneficial alliance between Vic and Hotho would involve two things: 1) Hotho swings Harlaw for Vic using his influence, 2) once Vic wins the kingsmoot, he'll repay Hotho by marrying his daughter and (politically) strong-arming Rodrik Harlaw into giving Hotho the castle of Ten Towers. So perhaps Vic was low-key threatening Asha, because Rod the Reader holds a lot of political sway in Asha's favor, but if Vic throws in with Hotho, then that power is undermined? Idk, if anyone's got a better idea then please let yourself be known.

But yeah, it's frustrating. I know a stupid amount about George's ironborn lore, but it's not uncommon that I look at a particular bit of world-building, think to myself "hm. nah. that's stupid", and totally disregard it lolll. On a personal level, I think George could have done so much more to explore gender on the Iron Islands, but I just need that old man to focus on finishing TWOW. Leave the gender stuff to the experts: tumblrinas 🫡 (affectionate). Ironborn gender gets discussed a ton in relation to Theon (which is fair, considering that homeboy is a cocktail of the worst gender expectations and masculinity Westeros has to offer), but I wanna know more about ironborn women too!!

And oooOOOoo I like your salt son Rodrik idea... that's pretty spicy. I just assumed Gwynesse was an old battle axe that liked to make her younger brother's life difficult (same), but that's a fun interpretation too lol. I've had a lot of thoughts about the Rodrik-Alannys-Gwynesse sibling triumvirate of widow(er)s rattlin' around in the ol' braincase lately, and now I have something new to ponder... hehe.

Finally, it's good to hear that you liked "Last Serving Daughter"! That means I should definitely read some more of it tonight 😉 And thank you! I wrote a handful of short one-shots back when I was 15 (a dark time), and then didn't really write again for like 7 years lol. But now I'm back in the game! My confidence (and frankly, competence) has improved a lot in the last few months, and I've been having a great time! These next few chapters of The Fic will involve a lot of Iron Islands world-building, with a ton of details and character backstories that I 100% made up lol. But the important part is that I'm having fun and being myself 👍

[brendleellipsis]

1, 12, and 21 for Her™️ (Dantoinette)

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Honestly, too many to count, but to keep it brief, Dani as a character is kind of tailor-made to appeal to me personally? Someone who's cocky and badass and cool enough to be enjoyable to watch Do Cool Things, while also having enough layers to have insecurities that make em relatable? idk how to describe it but,,, yeah

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

It's hard to really have a unique headcanon for a CPUK character that isn't influenced or shared by the rest of the fandom, hell, if I recall correctly, the way I wrote Dantoinette in a fic pre-season 3 had some effect on how the larger community saw her? That might not be true, though...

Anyways, Dantoinette is from New York. Probably New York City, though I could not tell you which borough or anything

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I just adore the attitude and edge that comes with writing Dantoinette's inner voice. It's an absolute joy, through and through. There's really not anything that I don't like, but if I had to choose the thing that is hardest about writing her, it's that I tend to be a bit more wordy and introspective with my writing, and Dani feels a bit more blunt, and it can often be a bit difficult to reconcile those things.

[butdriampagliacci]

hi omg i really love "wildfire"!!! i'm so curious about the behind-the-scenes process behind it. what media inspired you to write it? what's the revision process like and how long does it usually take? what part did u find the most difficult to write? when did you start writing the outline + first draft? are you the type to finish a rough draft of an entire long fic before revising or do you take it chapter by chapter? i have so many questions pls infodump as much as u want about the behind the scenes of the fic i'm so hooked on the story i've been sharing it to all of my mutuals. thank you again for creating it <3

OMG first of all, thank you! I love talking about writing, so infodump I shall!

As far as inspiration goes, I love mysteries and detective stories in general. Some that stand out to me as influencing wildfire are the manga FAKE by Sanami Matoh and Beyond Evil, a kdrama that I highly recommend. Lots of twists and turns in that one. (And of course I like Knives Out and Glass Onion haha, there's a little bit of that too with how Diluc is helping Lumine.) I also have a playlist I made for the fic. If y'all ever want to see that, let me know~

I started writing the fic in September after rotating the idea in my brain for about a year. Initially I wasn't planning on posting it, since people can get pretty heated about kaeluc so it was just for my own amusement. But after talking to friends about it and realizing how much I was enjoying myself, I figured I should go ahead and make an AO3 account and publish it. Seeing other people enjoying it too makes me so happy it's unreal!

Re: the process--I tend to go chapter by chapter, usually with a bit of a buffer. In other words, I try to stay ahead of the most recent chapter, so if chapter 4 is ready to be posted, I'm already working on chapter 5 and so on. I actually started out with a substantial buffer and had about 5 chapters written before I posted the first one. I've got a document called "Misc" where I write scenes out of order or further along in the story to place later. Also, this is going to sound insane, but I don't really outline--at least not strictly. I have a document called "plot notes" to remind myself of certain important clues, the timeline, anything that I came up with while brainstorming. I know what's going to happen in the broad sense (like the solution to the mystery, I know where Aether is haha) but I like to give myself a little freedom to make creative decisions as I work. Sometimes I'll plan for something to happen, but then it doesn't really fit. For example, I had the flashback where Kaeya and Diluc almost kissed as teenagers completed for a while, but had trouble deciding which chapter it should go.

I'm often editing as I go. If I'm writing and the scene feels wrong or the dialogue is off, I'll cut and paste it into my "outtakes and deleted scenes" doc so I can still keep what I like or change my mind later. I re-read the previous chapter to try and keep things consistent and make sure to read my draft before I post to catch whatever I can. (I don't have a beta so any typos or other mistakes are on me TvT) The most difficult parts to write are anything involving actual procedure lmao I do my best to make it seem believable, but I take about as much artistic license as a detective show would. I prefer amateur/gentleman detective stories to police procedurals so that's the vibe I'm going for (despite Kaeya having access to actual law enforcement resources). That, and action scenes aksjdfosdjfoj If you can't already tell, I'm a dialogue/character writer.

As far as how long it takes to write and revise, I can usually finish a 3-4k chapter in roughly a week. That's thanks to my severe brainworms hahahaha I'm lucky to have a lot of free time right now and a slow paced job :> Although I know how the fic will end and the major twists, I'm not sure how long it will take to get there, but we've already crossed the 50k mark, so there's going to be plenty more content haha

Anyway, I've probably talked enough for now but I'm always down to chat fic and writing haha Thank you again for reading and sharing the story! I appreciate it so much~

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (1)

》 News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right? 《

pairings: john kramer!taehyung x female reader

warnings: dark themes, angst, yandere, murder, torture, self harm, suicide, stalking etc.... (will add more when i know lol) although it is rather innocent in the first couple chapters(?) so idk it could be slow burn but i guess we’ll find out as i write it >< ,, it’s my version of saw if saw was a fucked up love story lol. Please don’t read if any of the topics mentioned trigger you!! 18+

this fic is exactly that, fiction!!!! the au does not represent the characters mentioned irl......

synopsis: you end up lost on the other side of town, where you cross paths with a handsome stranger, kim taehyung, only.... are you a stranger to him?

[a/n: daffodils represent; love me, sympathy, desire and affection returned...]

word count: 3k

series masterlist

part two

——————————————————————————

Hiding behind a mask was something you were accustomed to. Your friend group and family were clueless to the torment you endured from simply existing. You were confident your masking had convinced the world you were happy with yourself. Unbeknown to you, one other person saw straight through your façade.

You wanted to end your life.

He needed you to cherish your life.

Nothing looked familiar. The café you frequented was nowhere to be found. Your usual hangout was most definitely not on the side of town you found yourself in. You felt anxiety slowly curl its way around your body, you were frigid. You tried and tried but couldn’t find it in yourself to run.

You lived in the more friendly part of town (so to speak) – where houses were colourful, gardens pristine, warm-hearted neighbours who would treat you like family and white picket fences are what surrounded you. That was your norm, sure, you weren’t exactly loaded but you weren’t exactly poor either. It was a healthy balance in the middle. That’s not to say you hadn’t lived or seen this side of town before.

Your Mother and Father had grown up on this side of the fence. Two young people brought up in the rougher, more unfortunate areas. Your Mother was tough; she looked like a naïve, weak girl, albeit that was not the case. She was strong willed, used to life on the streets and doing anything she could to get money to make sure there was at least some food on the table. While your Mum was the leader, your Dad was more of a sheep. He was easily influenced and was dragged into the wrong crowd (had his fair share with drugs and street racing). That was their life for a few years till they crossed paths and your Mum helped your Dad get back on the right track.

They didn’t tell you much about their childhood and adolescence but they told you enough to make you appreciate what you have and to always work hard for it. To stick with the right people, be wise and conscious of your decisions. Be kind to those around you.

Your family owned a garage; your Dad was the head mechanic. This was the sole reason you were here. You knew it wouldn’t be simple when you agreed to go to this side of town to get a few bits for your Father’s shop. However, you didn’t expect it to be this difficult. How could you be so stupid? Why didn’t you just ask Hoseok and Yoongi to come with you like your father told you to? Or at least tell them where you were… yet you decided today of all days to be stubborn and venture on yourself, knowing full well how unsafe the area was. There were rundown businesses on either side of the road, beggars at every doorstep; drug dealings happening in broad daylight, no one even trying to hide it.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, you took it out and sighed a breath of relief once you’d read the texts.

14:37— From Papa: U ok munchkin ??? Did u get the stuff ?

14:39— From Papa: its ok if u didnt. Yoongs rang said hes got majority this morning lol so be safe n get home soon . Love u

14:40— To Papa: ohhh ok pops, i couldn’t find the shop anyway lol i’ll head back soon, love u too x

*LOW BATTERY*

“Fuck, trust me to forget to charge the bastard.” You rolled your eyes as you stuffed the phone back in your pocket.

Muffled shouting was heard around you. People ran across the street, bumping into you as they ran past. You gathered yourself and moved further down the path. “Great!” you exasperated, “honestly I’m so fucking stupid! Yoongi’s gonna kill me for this, I knew, I knew I should’ve told him I was coming over here but no,” your head was hung low as you dragged your feet across the pavement, “maybe I could tell Hobi, he wouldn’t be as angry right? I’m sure he’ll come,“ A sudden scream ripped you out of your chuntering. You whipped your head to the right, you could make out some figures bustling about in front of you, a group of men were quite clearly fighting… your anxiety struck you and you held your breath as you saw a man pull a knife from the waistband of his sweatpants. All thoughts and common sense seemed to leave all at once. Statue like, feet stuck to the ground. You watched on as the group rushed towards the brown haired man, you scanned his figure: tall, broad, confident… he exuded an intimidating aura even when you were this far away from him.

How could someone be so sure of themselves? It was one against five, surely the loner had no chance?

The glistening of the knife brought you back to your senses. Fucking hell. How do you always end up in these situations when you’re alone? Why me? Why? Good Lord, I need to run. Just as you were about to leave, the group who were arguing charged past you; one gripped his side as another supported his weight. Holy fuck, did he stab him? you stood frozen, yet again, your mind raced a mile a minute. Panic bubbled in your chest.

“You okay there Doll?” His voice was deep, velvet-like. It flowed so smoothly you doubted it was real, it was so soothing like it had wrapped itself around you, embracing your body. You heard his footsteps before he planted himself beside you. His shoulder reached the top of your head, his hand brushed yours. Swallowing your nerves you dared a glance up. He was fucking breath-taking, like a fallen angel. The stranger shot you a small smile that you would’ve easily missed had you not been staring at his features… a blush crept up your neck as you nodded. His smile slowly twisted into a smirk.

Cute, Taehyung thought to himself. Couldn’t help but adore the way you slightly trembled under his gaze, the way your hands gripped and twisted your sweater paws. Almost like a puppy. He cleared his throat and reached his hand to yours, “Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself. I’m Taehyung.” you took his hand into yours, apprehensively you greeted him, “I’m Y/N.”

“Ah, Y/N. I haven’t seen you round here before, you new or something?” Taehyung cocked his head to the side, his eyes seemed to stare right through you.

“Uhm, I don’t live here. I live over the other part of Town… I was just grabbing some stuff for my Dad but, my phones about to die. I have no idea where I am or how to get home, I’m sorry, I promise I didn’t see anything!” a deep chuckle cut you off, Taehyung smiled and beckoned you to follow him.

“Come on Y/N, you’re not suited for this side of Town, I’ll walk you back. A pretty little thing like you, you’re easy prey to these guys.” your feet fell into a cautious pace behind him, he glanced over his shoulder, “hurry up Buttercup, I don’t bite.” Taehyung flashed a boxy grin in your direction, which caused you to speed up ever so slightly.

You were unsure how you felt about letting a complete stranger walk you home, Yoongi would definitely kill you for this. Especially with the recent news of some serial killer named ‘Jigsaw’, Yoongi and Hoseok had been very stern and their usual, overprotective selves when the news had broken out. “It’s on every headline Y/Nie! No more leaving the house on yourself, you need to go anywhere you ring either of us. Got it? Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know either. There’s some dodgy fucks about recently.” Although, you loved them dearly, sometimes their protectiveness was a...little overbearing. You already felt suffocated from your parents (you didn’t need it from your best friends as well). They were happy and believed you to be too; but that was exhausting, faking happiness. You had a constant façade, acted like a happy normal teenager with a happy family; when that was far from the truth.

Drowning. That’s how you’d explain the way you felt. Breathing was difficult and brought you more pain than it was worth. Growing up was tedious, you had grown differently to your peers which only brought ridicule and embarrassment for you. You had struggled with your speech (sometimes you still do), you often stuttered, mispronounced words, the list was endless. That was one of the first reasons you were a castaway. As you grew, the ridicule worsened. Verbal abuse turned physical from your classmates. They made you feel like you were a waste of space. The names they called you, you soon started to believe them. Ugly. Weird. Freak. Stupid. They took root in your brain, slowly they grew and grew till your head was overgrown with twisted, rotten weeds.

Eventually, you sought comfort in blood. You didn’t care that it hurt you; you were almost happy to feel pain. Like you deserved to.

By age 14, you had started to skip school. Only ever there for exams and a couple of art classes you had with Jeongguk. He was what you would’ve called a best friend, he supported you and was by your side till you left school. He went away to college and like always with school friends, you drifted apart. Nevertheless, he still texts you now and then to check in.

Although you were (once) close with Jeongguk. He never knew of your inner demons, the same with Yoongi and Hoseok. You didn’t want to feel like a burden and worry your friends when they had shit to worry about themselves.

Why devastate flowers that flourish beautifully with weeds that manage to twist their way around every crack?

You had walked for a few minutes now, having chatted absentmindedly about anything and everything. The roads still didn’t look familiar to you and you just wished they did, you didn’t want to be away from your home any longer, your feet were starting to ache, your phone was on 10% battery and it was fucking cold. You just wanted to be back in bed tucked up watching Lady and the Tramp or 101 Dalmatians for the millionth time. You felt safe and content when you indulged in your comfort films. Far away from the real world and wrapped up in the false reality. They easily distracted you and that's when you truly felt at peace. Your mind was always too busy thinking about how cute it was when Tramp calls Lady, Pidge or how in love Pongo and Perdy were.

Majority of the time you fantasised about having a love similar, but then again, why would you wanna make yourself vulnerable like that? Is the risk of being hurt (more than you are now) any good? Of course it’s not. Fuck that, life isn’t nothing like those shitty romance films or novels… It’s real and painful.

As you and Taehyung rounded the corner, a little cafe caught your eye, a dainty blue and pink building. Fairy Lights strung up around the windows, you could see a handful of people inside, busy sipping their drinks and chatting away to one another. ‘Aroma Mocha’ hung above the doors. It looked so cute and simple. Your previous thoughts left your mind as quick as they had come. You wanted to go inside, it had an enticing atmosphere.

Taehyung hadn’t realised you’d stopped walking until he couldn’t hear the soft thud of your footsteps behind him, he turned as he called out to you, your eyes still fixed on the cafe. He chuckled to himself, “Fucking adorable, like a kid at christmas,” he walked back over to you. “Hey Doll, you wanna go in?” He felt his heart quicken when you looked at him with those pretty eyes, “We’ve plenty of time to get you back before it’s dark angel.” You answered him with a nod as you turned your head from Taehyung to look back at the alluring little cafe.

Not a second had passed before Taehyung grabbed your hand and pulled you across the road to the entrance; you ignored the warmth of his hand as it intertwined with yours; you ignored the way your tummy erupted with butterflies. Taehyung had stopped to hold the door for you, you murmured a small, “thank you,” looking up at him, the heat that crept up your cheeks making your face resemble that of a doll’s he thought to himself. Once he ushered you fully inside, he placed his hand to rest on the curve of your waist as he guided you to the back corner of the room, where a quaint table for two was unoccupied, a little pot of Daffodils sat atop. How fitting...

Taehyung was quick to pull the chair out for you to take a seat, you pulled it in as you sat down and sent a shy smile his way, “I’m sorry, I know we just met Taehyung but this place is so fucking precious! I hope I’m not bothering you, if I am we can just carry on walking or, I could ring a Taxi? Is this weird? Oh god, I can’t believe--”, Taehyung threw his head back as he laughed, a sound that seemed to wrap its way around your soul, twisting around your heart in the nicest of ways, it was almost like a killer to the weeds taking over your body. A temporary release. You felt like you could really breathe in those short seconds of his laughter.

“Angel, if you were bothering me, I’d have kept on walking. That, or I would’ve called you a Taxi myself, it’s no problem honestly.” You ducked your head as he sent a wink your way, fuck sake Y/N get it together! Why are you acting like a fucking schoolgirl?

“Well I uh, appreciate it so, yeah thank you?” You don’t know what to do, you’re here with the most gorgeous person you’ve ever laid your eyes on… yet you have no clue if what you saw was real, did Taehyung stab someone? Could someone have had the knife who wasn’t Taehyung? Was he even the person you saw in that altercation? Did you imagine everything that had gone off?

Before you had chance to overthink it, a light bubbly voice greeted your ears, “Hi! Welcome to Aroma Mocha, I’m Jimin and I’ll be your server today. Is there anything I can get you?” Jimin held his gaze on you as he flashed you a friendly smile, Taehyung turned around at the sound of his best friend, “Oh, Tae! I wasn’t expecting to see you today, what are you doing here? And who’s this pretty little lady?”

“This is Y/Nie, she was in the neighbourhood so we thought we’d nip in for something to drink before I take her back to hers.” you sent a warm smile to Jimin which he gladly returned, “I’ll have my usual and can you get Y/Nie a Strawberry Iced Tea? Thanks man.”

Once Jimin had disappeared to make your drinks, you shot your eyes to Taehyung, “Uhm, how’d you know I like Strawberry Iced Tea?” Taehyung didn’t even look in your direction as he scrolled through his phone, eyes glued to the screen. A minute passed by and he’d still not acknowledged your question so you let it slide, it wasn’t that big of a deal right? Your mind drifted. Your fingers rested atop of your lap, hidden from the sight of onlookers, picking around your nails as anxiety flooded your body. You felt like you were about to suffocate. You shouldn’t be talking to anyone, you shouldn’t let anyone close. You were only going to fuck everything up in a heartbeat. It’s only natural. Self deprecating thoughts devoured and made their way through your veins, poisoning yourself further; your whole body felt as though it was alight.

Jimin brought you your drinks, placed them carefully in front of the pair of you as you both said your thanks.

The click of Taehyung’s phone being locked and the clearing of his throat brought you back to your senses. “The drink I ordered for you is popular here so, I assumed you’d like to try it. You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” your eyes shot up to meet his, your head tilted a little to the left as your tongue wet your lip, so puppy like...

You stared incredulously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Taehyung.” You leant forward slightly as you wrapped your lips around the straw and took a sip.

Taehyung saw the way you sucked your drink up through your straw, his eyes darkened. Thankful to have worn sweatpants that day, he shifted himself discreetly, “I’m not stupid Angel, I know what you’re doing under the table. I’m here, so talk to me. I’ll listen to whatever you gotta say.”

You stuttered as you wracked your brain for something to say, “I-I only met you like forty minutes ago, I don’t even tell my friends what’s wrong. Not that there is, everything’s fine.”

You met me just short of an hour ago, he thought to himself, “You don’t have to lie to me Y/Nie…” he grabbed your hands that were laid near the cup of your Iced Tea. His thumb rubbing circles onto the back of your hand. You looked small and fragile, like the Daffodils on the table; one little pluck and you’d be ruined. He wouldn’t admit it to you just yet but, Taehyung fucking loved how delicate you seemed as you sat across from him.

How easy it would be to take your life away. How easy it’d be to pull those weeds up that are poisoning you, torturing you every single day. He shook his head, as he cleared those thoughts. No, only Y/N can make that decision. I’m just going to help her choose.

Live or Die.

You visibly winced, “You don’t know me. Think whatever the fuck you want about me, it doesn’t matter.” your eyes flashed hurt as you went back to picking your skin. You knew it, this whole encounter was too good to be true. A complete stranger (well acquaintance technically) had just presumed shit about you, the fact he was right is what hurt more. You didn’t want anyone to know how you were feeling. Or how you were dealing with it.

You couldn’t exactly tell him to piss off, you still needed his help home and so you tried to distract yourself from the unsettling gaze that watched your every move. You let out a breath as Taehyung went back to his phone. Your eyes drifted as you picked up the local Newspaper, your eyes skimmed over the headline, ‘Jigsaw Traps Continue’. Taehyung noticed you staring at the front page, and chuckled, “you scared of Jigsaw Angel?”

You shook your head, why would you be scared of some nutjob who’s targeted criminals and drug dealers? You’re a nobody. “Of some psychopathic puppet?” if anyone did anything to you that would threaten your life, it would be you. Taehyung just laughed in return as you skipped the article and skim-read the other pointless stories.

You were fucking clueless as to who he was while he knew every little thing about you. He had watched you for months… His precious little Y/Nie… Oh how silly you were, taking your life for granted.

You hated yourself that much, you were willingly marking yourself up. Tainting your skin… oh your skin, how fucking beautiful and soft it looked, even with all the scars it still looked perfect… Taehyung wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and lock you inside with him. Forever. He didn’t want anyone touching what was his.

He knew you wore a mask when in public, too afraid to show your real self. Little did you know, he wore a mask himself...only he wore it to better other people.

He had a plan.

And you’d soon find out.

Let the games begin.