#it's a less formal one than the other intros but oh well

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Honey Bun (18+ Series)

(Aaron Hotchner x Stripper!Reader)

Part 1 // MINORS DNI

This first part is dedicated to @ssahotstuff for inspiring me <3 and to @hausofwhores who I first talked to about my idea hehe <3 <3

WC: 2.1k Words

Song Inspo: Gold Satin Dreamer - Nicole Dollanganger

Series Warnings: Eventual smut, bit of an age gap (placing reader at around 25-26), cursing, alcohol consumption, formalized sex work (Stripper/Pole Dancer), occasional angst, drama, and that's all I can think of rn but lmk if I missed anything!

A/N: Short and sweet intro! Things are gonna get very uhhh interesting from here on out ;) Enjoy some flirty Hotch, let me know your thoughts on this first part! I'm super excited to be writing this!!!! :)

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“Need a little sugar in your life, gentlemen? Well, get ready to make it rain on our sweetest girl, Honey Bun! Just remember, you may feast your eyes, but no touching!”

—————

Thursdays weren’t always so busy. Sure, there were a couple of party animals who liked to start the weekend early, but rarely at such capacity. 

At least you were glad that Josephine was working with you that night. She made busy nights at the Duchess Tavern much more bearable. When you first started working there, she immediately took you under her wing, teaching you all the ropes. 

She had a certain matronly quality about her — probably attributed to the fact she was twenty years older than you — but she was a real tough cookie, too. On countless occasions, she’d helped you deal with rowdy customers and drunk assholes. She rarely ever needed help from the bouncers to break bar fights, she cursed like a sailor, and she also made the meanest Long Island Iced Tea you’d ever had. 

You were certain that if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have lasted a week being a bartender.

“You’re lucky you’re off on weekends,” Josephine said as she poured a row of shots for a group of college-aged girls. “This here is light work compared to a Saturday night.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ll be getting a lot of rest…” you countered. “Dealing with the same sort of customers, too.”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just getting too old for this shit,” she sighed heavily.

“Oh please, pigs will fly before the day good ole Josie O’Donnell actually retires.”

She laughed heartily, smacking your arm in a playful way. You couldn’t help but admire how hardworking she was. She’d been at this business for years, and it was certainly no easy place to be. She inspired you to stay driven, even when you felt at your lowest. She was the only one in this place you trusted with the knowledge of your other job. Not everyone was so understanding, and plus, it wasn’t really their business anyways.

Working two jobs was in no way easy, but it was definitely necessary. Especially considering you liked living a certain way. You barely had any free time to hang out with friends outside of work, much less meet people and go on dates. Though it’s not like you didn’t get hit on, at both of your jobs, but you just weren’t interested in any of them.

Rarely could anyone keep up with your schedule, especially considering your line of work. It was unsurprising, but you weren’t really phased by it anymore.You didn’t give yourself the time to feel lonely, and you had enough interactions during the day to compensate. 

As the initial swell of patronage died down, you began wiping down the bar, absently humming to yourself. Def Leppard’s ‘Bringing on the Heartbreak’, one of your favorites, was playing on the speakers. 

An older looking gentleman slid onto a barstool then. You offered him a drink menu, but he waved it off and ordered a scotch, neat. He pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a long sigh, and his shoulders slumped as he crossed his arms over the bar top. 

“Long day?” You asked, pouring his drink. 

“You could say so,” he nodded wearily. “You know, I’ve always wondered, are bartenders required to ask that whenever they see a haggard-looking patron?”

You chuckled, sliding it towards him. “Only if we think we can help.”

A ghost of a smile was on his lips at that. You studied him more closely, trying to be subtle – He was strikingly handsome, with dark hair and thick dark eyebrows. He had a strong nose and a sharp, clean shaven jaw. His eyes were a piercing dark brown, and they drew your attention the most.

He took a sip of scotch, and there was something analytical in his gaze as he took you in, as well.

“Well, I guess you could say I’m a little bit of a workaholic,” he said.

You nodded in understanding. “A common affliction these days.”

“You, too?” He raised an eyebrow, and you shrugged as if to say what can you do?

“No offense, but I can’t imagine you love spending more time here than you need to.”

You raised both eyebrows at this, only half amused. He was wearing a nicely tailored suit, had an expensive watch on his wrist, and wasn’t ordering cheap drinks. The Duchess didn’t really seem like a place he’d hang out at, and yet…

“Hmm, well, I suppose the same could be said about you,” you countered, nonchalant.

“Touché,” he acquiesced with the smallest chuckle. “But I don’t know, maybe I should give it a chance. It’s…”

“Charming?” You offered.

“Yes, exactly.”

You excused yourself momentarily to attend to another customer. He looked around, but was clearly uninterested in talking to anyone else.

Josephine caught your eye and gave you an impressed look. She wagged her eyebrows suggestively and mouthed ‘get it’.

You rolled your eyes playfully, shaking your head a little. He was certainly very good looking, and flirting was pretty fun, but you weren’t sure if it should go any further than that.

When you returned, you refilled his glass, since he’d already polished off the first one.

“So, what’s your name?” You asked. “Or is it more fun to keep it anonymous?”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

You thought about it for a moment, but then you relented, telling him your name.

“Some call me Honey, though,” you added.

He extended his hand out to you. “I’m Aaron Hotchner. It’s nice to meet you, Honey.”

You shook his hand, his long fingers basically engulfing yours. Something stirred low in your belly at this, your mind going straight to the gutter. As if he could tell, a smirk tugged at his lips.

“Boy, do I feel lucky to be the one getting your attention tonight,” he said.

“Why do you say that?” 

“Those guys over there have been ogling you for some time now. They’re almost panting and salivating like dogs.”

You glanced in the direction he gestured towards, momentarily meeting two hungry gazes. You shrugged it off, so used to that sort of lascivious attention that you didn’t notice it anymore.

“Well, you approached me the right way,” you said, busying yourself by wiping down some glasses. “Some think it’s flattering to be looked at like that, but it’s really not.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he sympathized. “I get what you mean.”

“Oh, it must be so hard being so attractive, hmm?” You teased jokingly.

“So you think I’m attractive?” 

You gave him a look that said are you serious?

“I mean, I don’t want to stroke your ego but… Yes, you really are.”

Aaron’s smirk only grew, perhaps feeling more bold now that he was on his second drink. 

“For the record, I think you are very beautiful, but I am a man who knows who to appreciate beauty without needing to take some of it for himself.”

You looked back up at him then, momentarily stunned. Then you chuckled in slight disbelief, but also totally enthralled. Just who was this man?

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d held a conversation — less so one so genuinely riveting — with a single patron for this long. At least at this job, and especially for free.

You were even beginning to consider giving him your number, should he ask for it. But that was yet to be seen.

“I’m serious,” he said.

“Oh, I believe you,” you smirked in return, not letting on if you meant it or not. 

The two of you held each other’s gazes for a charged moment, trying to get a better read of each other in the low light. You saw both mirth and earnestness in his eyes — but no trace of anything that should raise any flags — and you found yourself getting just a little more comfortable.

It was easy to talk to him, but he was still very much a stranger. You didn’t want to let yourself get too excited, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t continue testing the waters. After all, he’d been pretty well behaved so far, and you always liked to reward good behavior.

Once more you had to pull yourself away to attend to someone, but at least the place was getting emptier as it got later. You could feel his gaze trailing you this time, and you glanced over your shoulder to send a wink his way.

“Psst,” Josephine hissed in your direction. “Why don’t you take fifteen? I’ve got things handled here.”

You hesitated. “Are you sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure,” she scoffed. “Go on now, have a little fun.”

You waved her off, but smiled appreciatively. On your way to the other side of the bar, you grabbed yourself a beer and then plopped down on the stool next to Aaron’s. He turned to face you, his knees barely grazing yours. The small contact was innocent enough, but you still felt the smallest tingle down your spine. You clinked your bottle against his glass in a little toast. 

“You were right, you know?” He said, looking at the side of your face as you drank. “You really are helping me feel better.”

“Aw shucks, that means I’m good at my job,” you said teasingly, which made him playfully roll his eyes. 

“Tell me more about you. Why is it that they call you Honey?” he asked.

“Aren’t I sweet?” You pouted, pretending to be hurt.

He chuckled. “I think you are. Is that the whole reason?”

You nodded, omitting the fact that it also happened to be your stage name – Honey Bun. Sticky sweet; All satin and glitter and softness. Of course, that wasn’t the same you that was sitting across from him now.

“I think you have a very pretty name, too,” he leaned against the bar, resting his temple on his fist. “Is it too forward of me to ask to call you by it? Unless you prefer…” 

You waved him off. “How can I decline when you ask so nicely?” 

The two of you lost track of time as you continued talking and joking and teasing each other. Laughter seemed to come so easily around him, and there were virtually no awkward pauses between the two of you. It was almost too good to be true.

You told Aaron about some of the wilder things you’d witnessed working at the Duchess, looping Josephine into the conversation at one point. You never even noticed she didn’t call you back from your break, too absorbed in letting loose for once. Even if it was only for a little while, and not entirely.

Much too soon, last call was announced, and you realized that it was nearly two AM. Most people had left, and someone was sweeping as the tables were being stacked.

“Oh, wow, closing time,” you remarked. “I guess time does fly when you’re having fun, huh?”

You got up from your seat to start helping out, giving him a small, almost sheepish grin. You’d had a really nice time, but he was still a customer and couldn’t stick around as you wrapped up for the night. You tried to think of the nicest way to kick him out… even if a teenie tiny part of you didn’t want him to leave.

Aaron looked around as if coming out of a daze. He glanced at his watch and stood, gathering his things. “So it seems.”

“The Duchess just has that effect on people. I should have warned you.”

“I have to say, I think this place is growing on me,” he admitted. “Would you mind if I visited more often?”

“It’s a free country, you can do whatever you want,”  you smiled, and in your smile there was an invitation— or perhaps a dare?

And in his, you could see that he was ready to take it.

Still, to your surprise and slight chagrin, he did not ask for your contact information. Perhaps it was his way of continuing to be respectful. Or maybe, this encounter had merely been a reprieve from the day to day for both of you. Nothing more.

For a moment, you wondered if things would have gone down differently had you met in the Crimson Lounge instead of the Duchess. The thought made a small thrill dance in your chest, but you tried not to chase it further. Of course things would have gone down differently. You probably wouldn’t have talked nearly as much.

So you took what you could get, blowing a flirty kiss in his direction as he departed. It was better not to get attached, anyway.

[the-trans-folk-witch]

An untimely intro: Numb and hollow

Howdy folks!👋

This “blog” or cringey tumblr page is a battle cry at best- maybe a cry for help at worst. A plague of words ensues…

Grammar, punctuation and clever wording misses me despite being educated on writing formal statements/grants at a postgraduate level 🤡. Enjoy the occasional plot twist, gobsmack, misplaced comma, and tone-deaf emoji use. This “blog” is a mix of occult texts, free books, zines, and works made by me and others. It is a crossroads of formalities and comedic slander. And the occasional look into my thoughts.

I’m sure anyone reading this already knows me from Instagram and my now late podcast of the same name as this blog. So I won’t waste your time reintroducing myself and my goals. You know my brand, and roughly, my views despite how they may have changed since we last spoke. My goal here is to write more and slowly ease into the release of my first book and my second zine. I want to relive my edgy tumblr days with a more anarchistic approach than before. I invite you to join me. maybe this will help me learn how to avoid run-on sentences… or what fonts the public will judge me for using. (Comic sans girlies rise up). Perhaps I’ll learn to use parentheses and dashes correctly for once. Time will tell.

Now that I’ve fed you an over-cooked appetizer, let’s move on to the meat of the discussion. This is an update on my writings of the Guardian Angel and the other texts I have been forming. It has been a year in the making and hopefully I will be done with it this summer. It will not be long. It is a free book styled to appear as a cheesy church pamphlet. It is UPG laced with the some dogma from the Catholic church and the occasional hint of Protestant revivalist churches from the hills. I plan to reinvigorate the use or relation to the Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) in a roundabout way that incapsulates my own practice while leaving room for yours. I want it to be used as a guide, But not as a Bible. Hopefully it will come across as well as I intend for it to. It has been harder than I imagined.

Now for the long term plans for this blog. As of now, my podcast is on hold. So consider this it’s child despite the difference between my written voice and my informal speaking voice. The podcast is canned. Possibly forever. I may come back to it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe years from now. I’m sure you all caught onto that. I have removed most every episode. The only ones available are ones that I had friends guest star in. Thank you to all of you who helped me become who I am today in this community. Even though as of now my following is only 500-600 people, it’s bigger than I’ve ever been anywhere before. I’m rather private. In fact that’s why I’ve removed most of my podcast. As many have been told, I have been receiving a lot of hateful messages from terfs and neo-pagans. Topics such as transphobia and anti-folk-catholic shit has taken over my inbox on many platforms. However, this is not the only reason I’m stepping back from my podcast. I recently graduated from school and I am working on my career. I have decided to make myself less accessible to the public for my mental health but also to focus on privatizing my practice. I want to revolutionize my followers and to have proper discussions surrounding witchcraft that make people uncomfortable. I want an interaction that my podcast could not allow. I want to write in lengths and words that Instagram does not allow. I feel as though I’ve lost my voice since my early college days when I wrote daily. I hope to strengthen my bonds with those I’ve met online while closing myself off to those who I do not trust. Making a public blog is not the way to go about that I’m aware. But who uses tumblr? 😂. This is a starting place. I may one day put a price tag on my writing. Definitely for my other books and zines I have been working on this past year. But until then, enjoy my ramblings.

Dialogue is always welcome. Oh, and don’t make a fumblr account just for me. My blog is accessible on a browser without a log in. I’m not chasing likes. I’m just typing into the void.

The trans folk witch, out ✌️ 💋.

[sang8262]

1, 14, 15 :D

Oh these are particularly fitting for JP!! Thanks so much for the ask! 1. is about fashion, 14. is how F/O treats you, and 15. is about love languages, under the cut since it's long:

1. Gush about your F/O's sense of style/ fashion!

WOOO so, I love formal wear, if that wasn't obvious enough already. A bit too much, and frankly, without knowing much about suits other than 'they look nice'. But that doesn't stop me from loving how nicely put together JP is all the time, whether it be his bold orange vest, scarf and fedora fit, the Nayshalli robes, or even just plain ol' classic 3 piece suit we often see him in.

I've mentioned elsewhere but his character design with the playing cards/ 'King of No Country' title also reflects super well with what he's wearing in his default costume!! I really enjoyed digging into the details and finding that everything clicks together like that.

Otherwise it's also that, goodness, you can really admire his legs. Usually I don't think it's common to be able to have such... tight, form fitting suit pants look not-silly, but this is a game so they can do what they want with the models. So I'm allowed to admire his calves and butt lmao. NOT TO MENTION his gloves and shoes are just, WHAH. They modeled those with really nice details and for a good reason, since his intro scene focuses on his hands, and his win outro focuses on his shoes. It's just a crazy power move to not step on his opponents while showing he definitely could. While fighting in a pristine outfit. This is less about his fashion per se but rather how he maximally uses his good fashion as a weapon as much as his own fighting skills. It sends a message.

Oh and I haven't talked much about the arcade mode robes, and since we got a bit more art of what traditional, formal Nayshalli outfits look like in recent art, I can appreciate this outfit of his a bit more! This might be obvious or expected, idk, but I love that the patterns on it, the colors, and jewelry are all consistent with what other side characters are wearing too. It feels just a bit more believable as the traditional/ local style yknow?

Also, I REALLY like how his and Kimberly's arcade modes depict him almost as a supernatural monster or other, and the longer hair, glowy eyes, and gratuitous use of psycho power helps a lot with that image. The robes just add to the feel of 'an old and ancient evil' kinda vibe.

That said, I think it's amazing how well he manages to make such a wide range of colors and styles work for him. Of course the in game palettes can be pretty ostentatious sometimes, say with a golden yellow coat jacket (Outfit 2, Color 3). But overall nothing looks bad on him across all the outfits we've seen him in, he's just got that confidence and charisma.... and it helps he's built like a shit brickhouse underneath to support it.

14. Gush about how your F/O treats you (Are they protective? Loving? Are you the only person who gets to see their soft side?)!

HONESTLY for scenarios where he's interacting with me, it's hard to imagine anything other than his public facing "polite gentleman" persona;; I feel like I'd be a nervous wreck, just purely for the fact that he's authoritative and perceptive-- conversations with him would feel like I'm being interviewed and analyzed with every response, and I do not think I'd be getting high marks;;

So I guess he'd treat me with.. kindness?! Probably a lot of assurances that it's a pleasure to meet me, no problem at all, do sit down, all with a soft smile and untold calculations to steal my bank account clicking away in his head. Genuinely, I would never survive a social exchange with someone like JP lmFAO;;;;

15. Gush about your F/O's love language!

Had to remind myself which ones there were but I'd say acts of service and quality time!!

Logic being, process of elimination:

Gift giving - I feel could be a way he shows affection, but in a manipulative way. To him, the material and capitalistic are ways to control people, especially if it means gaining the affections of the other. I'm sure he can be honest and genuinely thoughtful with his gifts, but giving gifts to him is another story. I mean, just look at how he responds to the things we give him in World Tour: even with max friendship bond he opts for "I suppose I should thank you", and he talks about his old JOB when receiving the item he should 'love most'. So gift giving is not the strongest one for him.

Words of affirmation - similar thought process here with the above. He's a chronic liar and deceiver, so words are more of a tool to use to manipulate people. And again, I'm sure he can be quite honest with his feelings if he wants to, and he's not so obtuse to dismiss truly affectionate words towards him... But it probably isn't his most obvious way of showing or receiving affection. He probably gets empty compliments all the time with people trying to get on his good side, so yknow what? Maybe a real, raw emotional confession of admiration towards him might be refreshing for him for a change.

Physical touch - IDK maybe cause I'M not super keen on it, the author is projecting too much oh no But it's also rather difficult for me to see him too big on casually affectionate touch. Mostly based on how he doesn't like close combat, and is totally a neat freak about getting his clothes and hands dirty. As if he doesn't want to get his fingerprints on potential evidence cause of something so.. personal space invading, like touch. Maybe the key word here is causally affectionate: if it's deliberate, planned, and strictly under his terms, it could be nice who knows!!

I guess I could also make the argument that, because of all these reasons above (that so often he lies and is lied to, material wealth is meaningless to him, physical touch is a foreign concept) that those moments engaging with these 3 in particular are all the more valuable. It's just in comparison to the following 2, it's less obvious or, strong of a message of love for him IMO.

With all that said,

Acts of service - He probably respects people who go out of their way to seriously do the thing they promise, more so than the promise (words) themselves. And there's that conversation from World Tour with him, about free will and all (Libet's experiment, which is a whole other rabbit hole I won't get into;;), which tells me he's at the least intrigued by what compels us to act and do the things we do. So maybe he'd give actions and plans enacted a bit more credit, especially if he knows a lot went into accomplishing a certain action/plan with respect to resources, time, effort, etc.

Quality time - Similar vein with the above! He seems so busy and in the middle of something all the time, even as he's quietly looking out over the city at night... He could use a break now and then. Time is money and all that too so, any quality time you spend with him is inherently valuable. And even time spent working with him might be a way to show affection too. Goes hand in hand with acts of service, since it's about dedicating all resources to show how much you support him (and his criminal activities).

[angelamajiki]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐧

PAIRINGS: Yandere! Fatgum x Female! Sidekick! Reader

CW: noncon, voyeurism, bell bulge, size kink, praise kink, breeding, cunninglingus, bondage, dumbification

AN: This is a piece for Fern’s 1k Event! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ! Read the intro and first piece before reading this one! Ty <3 P.S. the italicized quotes are Nighteye’s and reader prior convo

Gluttony: The Second Circle of Dante’s Inferno

“What I like about gluttony,' a bishop I knew used to say, 'is that it doesn't hurt anyone else.'”

You hadn’t the faith to believe him when he said it.

It was hard to call the exchanges that occurred between the two of you a conversation. More or less, he spoke the truth of your reality and you simply didn’t have the gall to question it.

The elevator he thrust you into was cold and unnerving despite the cheesy jazz music that thankfully filled the void of silence you were sure would have deafened you if it prolonged itself. It gave you time to think on his words, more so than you would have liked to.

“The flesh endures the storms of the present alone; the mind, those of the past and future as well as the present. Gluttony is a lust of the mind. It is a poison that is all-consuming of the senses.”

Gluttony was the next trial, so it seemed. Lord knows what lies ahead for you, leaving you foolishly clutching to the notion that this circle couldn’t possibly be worse than the last.

The abrupt halt to the elevator allows the gravity of the situation to sink in fully. The inescapable horror was creeping in through the crack in the door, especially when it opened to find a man waiting for you.

And what a man he was, standing at nearly eight feet.

“Just the gal I was lookin’ for! I was worried my favorite lil sidekick had run off right after quitin’ time.”

An enormous, gloved hand clapped down on your shoulder, lingering far longer than you would have liked.

“Follow me to my office, yeah? I got something I wanna discuss with ya.”

And just like that, the string of fate slipped around your neck like a noose and pulled you along down the empty hallway, save for you, the man, and the numerous amounts of plaques, awards, and other celebratory memorabilia decorating the agency halls.

Judging by the pictures you saw yourself in, you were a hero of sorts, working alongside the unnamed man and two others you had yet to meet. Hopefully, your paths would never cross.

Even inside his office, you could see the remnants of what your life would be in this circle of hell. Whoever was with you seemed to be very fond of you, given the number of photographs and newspaper clippings adorning his desk and walls of the office.

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and not just your fantastic work as a hero. Been thinking about what a fine woman you’ve grown to be.”

Those large hands found your shoulders again, stroking and rubbing to set you at ease in his grasp.

“Strong.”

One dipped down to your waist.

“Sweet.”

The other onto your arm.

“Everything a man like me needs. You sure fill my appetite in more than one way.”

Finally, the rest on your hips, thumbing circles into the soft flesh he took purchase in there.

Ah, so this was the glutton in question.

“I’m not sure I’m following what you mean.”

Just play dumb, maybe this circle will have mercy on you.

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, honey. There’s no reason to get all shy on me; I promise I don’t bite-”

His hand slid up to your neck, resting comfortably while enveloping the entirety of it with just his palm.

“Unless you ask for it.”

The whisper in his voice sent shivers down your spine, leaving you frozen in his grasp. It was undeniable that you would never beat him, no matter what your power may be in this world. Hell, if you even had one, how certain were you that you could use it?

Your options were far and few between, but laying down and taking it like some pathetic little bitch was not going to be an option for you. Not here, not now.

The shrill sound of your own voice even hurt your own ears as you cried for help, thrashing wildly in the grip of the man.

Your cries for help should have been chosen more carefully, seeing as when your two apparent saviors sped into the room, they opted to help the man pin you down even further.

“Damn, she’s being a feisty little thing-”

“Fatgum, let go of her neck! You’re gonna hurt her.”

“S-Should we really be doing this?”

And so you were left bound against the top of the desk, shrouded in a swarth of tentacles pinning your legs open and your hands above your head.

“Thank you, boys. Didn’t realize she would cause such a stir.”

So Fatgum was his name, or so it appeared to be an alias of some sorts.

“Fatgum, please-”

His smile was sickeningly sweet as he towered over you.

“Awe, no need for formalities with me, sugar plum. Just call me Tai, yeah?”

The two other men stood beside you, watching their boss closely as he dealt with you.

“Curiosity is gluttony. To see is to devour.”

Damn that cursed man for sending you down here in that goddamn elevator. This journey alone made it nearly impossible to keep this strength to see your mother again alive.

“Tai, please. I don’t-” His hearty laugh cut you off. “Begging already, sugar? By the fight you put up, I’d almost thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

“I don’t!” You protested, squirming in your slimy bonds before they tightened uncomfortably around you.

“Don’t yell at him like that. It's unbecoming of you.”

The raven-haired man snapped at you, looking down with a blush seared across his face and up to his ears.

“Relax, Tamaki. She just needs a reminder of who she belongs, ain’t that right? But, he’s right, I can't have you mouthing off like that, now can I?”

Slipping his black mask off his eyes, Tai fastened it around your mouth and head, loosely gagging you.

“Yeah, you belong to us!”

It was the redhead’s turn to pipe up before Tai shushed the pair of men.

“Now, now, I know you’re fond of our sweet little sidekick here, but this?”

He clapped a hand over still clothed pussy, rubbing gently.

“This here is mine; you boys can’t have this. But you’re more than welcome to stay and watch as I indulge myself.”

You whined into the gag, looking at him with teary eyes as he ripped a hole in your bottoms and panties.

“Hey, hey, hey. No need for tears, honeybun. You're safe with me, okay? I’m gonna take such good care of my little sweetheart, don’t you worry about a thing.”

His large fingers stroked over your clit slowly and tenderly, kissing your salty tears away as he shushed you with praise and loving words. Thumbing your clit, he pushed his middle fingers into you at a slow pace, grinning softly when you bit back a moan.

“Come on now, girl. We wanna hear how good I’m makin’ ya feel, ain’t that right, boys?”

Their collective groans of pleasure gave you all the response you needed; those sick fucks were getting off on you being harassed by your boss.

His finger sped up in pace, making you squeal once he curled his finger in an upwards motion. “Can’t wait to hear what you’ll sound like on my cock, sweet girl. Gonna sing us a nice song?”

Another finger slipped in as his free hand pawed at your tits, fondling and groping as he finger fucked you a new sense of vigor.

“As much as I don't want to hurt you, sweetheart, I’m just itching to get inside you and feel that pretty cunt around me. You understand, don’t you? I just can’t help myself when it comes to you.”

His lips continued to litter your skin in kisses to your face, licking at the tears that fell from your eyes when he added a third finger into your tight, wet hole.

“Mhm, you won’t mind if I have a taste, do ya?”

You could only whine in response.

“Of course you don’t, my good girl never says no to me.”

A hot mouth sealed itself around your clit as three fingers pumped in and out of you steadily, hitting all the right spots repeatedly. You squealed and shook in your binds, feeling your orgasm approaching hard and fast with the aid of his tongue lapping and suckling at you.

“Gonna cum for me, pretty girl?”

That was all you needed to feel yourself reach that blinding peak, sobbing and writhing as he rode out your ecstasy. His tongue continued to work at you far after you were finished, overestimating you without a care in the world. Your whines of protest fell on deaf ears as he just pulled your body closer to his face.

“Taste so good, sweetheart. I’ll stop when I’m finished with my meal, y’understand? This is my pussy, and I’ll do what I want with it.”

Leaving you twitching and sobbing, Tai finally pulled away and stood up, pulling his cock out and stroking it above you.

“Can’t wait to breed my pussy. Gonna make you my cute little cream puff.”

Both of his massive hands circled around you waist, pulling you flush against him as he sank all the way into your tight heat. The stretch of his girth was quite nearly unbearable as he pushed himself to the hilt inside of you, rubbing the small bulge in your belly with fondness while peering down at you.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. I knew you’d be so good for me. Yer takin’ me so well.”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he slowly pulled out, leaving your legs twitching wildly when his thumb found its way back to your clit before he sank back in all the way. You could snark about how courteous it was of him to allow you to adjust, but the thread of consciousness was hard to grasp onto as he completely dominated your mind with numbing pleasure.

“You were made to take my cock, sweet thing. Let me give you a treat for bein’ so obedient for me.”

His praise went straight to your gut, as much as you hated to admit it, leaving you feeling pliable and soft under his demanding touch. Those hands around your waist pulled at your body, bringing you back and forth on his cock like you were a goddamn fleshlight.

“Ah, ” he grunted. “I don't think I can hold back much longer; you’ll let me be selfish, won’t ya?”

With that, all sense of tenderness and gentleness was thrown out the window as he picked you up from the desk, holding you against his chest as he jackhammered into you with an impossible pace of his hips.

“Shit! Squeezing me so tight, bein’ such a good little fucktoy for me.”

The sounds of skin slapping and the collective sounds of pleasure rang heavy in the room as he used and abused your throbbing pussy, feeling his grip on you tighten when he was reaching his own high.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum, gonna stuff my pussy nice and full!”

The bulge on your stomach grew even more as he came, stuffing you to the hilt with his cum and his cock. Ropes of it leaked out of your hole, even as he stayed inside you, panting and kissing at your sweaty forehead.

“Gave ‘em a good show, didn’t we, sweetheart? Say thank you, boys.”

Their thanks were mumbled out as they too had exhausted themselves just from the display of your pleasure. Tamaki’s tentacles retracted themselves from you, allowing you to stretch and return feeling to your arms and legs.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, sweetheart. We’re - hey, are you with me? I’m gonna clean you up and take you back home with me, okay? No more hero nonsense for you, ya hear me? All you need to do from now on is stay home and keep that pussy warm for me.”

Like hell you were going to stay for another damned second in this realm, not after being violated so horrifically.

“O-Okay.”

Play it cool, play it cool.

“Let me go to the bathroom, then.” You swallowed, hoping to fool the men. “A-And I’ll get my change of clothes and we can go home.”

You didn’t wait for a response, hobbling out of the office before making a break down the hall for the elevator. Their shouts echoed off the hallway walls as you ran with all your strength left back into the safety of the elevator, leaving them running after you before the door shut on them.

“Gluttony is a great fault; but we do not necessarily dislike a glutton. We only dislike the glutton when he becomes a gourmet-that is, we only dislike him when he not only wants the best for himself, but knows what is best for other people.”

— tagging: @sightoru @anarchicmartyr @natsuonii @whumperooni @viixens @lunar-nebula @trafalgar-temptress

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Hades

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades

Lucifer

Well… this is awkward…

He’s actually met Hades multiple times for business reasons (Underworld-Devildom relations are amiable if not a little odd. Hades was something of an uncle figure to Diavolo as a wee demon lad, which should speak for itself really). He’s a gloomy fellow and not much for chit-chat, but he never thought they’d end up taking one of his kids by accident…

He had to send a formal apology letter to the Lord of the Underworld immediately, but thankfully he didn’t seem very concerned for his offspring - if anything he appeared to think the Devildom would suit them nicely which was… concerning.

And he was not wrong. The darkness, demons, ghouls, and frights of the Devildom hardly seemed to faze the MC, if anything they fit right in. He’d dare say they were thriving if not for one thing…

They were So. Damn. Bleak.

Getting a smile out of this one AT ALL was rare. For once he felt the need to check up on someone constantly just to be sure they were alright... They’d keep assuring the House that they’re not actually as sad as they look but it’s hard not to assume…

He was a little mortified at first when they first met Cerberus cause… well they called him “Cerbi” and the massive demonic guard dog rolled over for them like a Golden Retriever! 

Apparently he and the Cerberus that they knew are from the same litter and they must have smelt familiar... He would have probably limited their interactions just to keep his dog on his side but after seeing the MC smile for once while they played with the big oaf well…

Cerberus got a new playmate and the MC got a massive, three-headed therapy animal. Win-win. 😌

Mammon

Do ya really gotta be such a downer all the time, MC…? 😔

He thinks they’re nice, like really nice. They’re always super concerned when his brothers attack him or when he gets injured, but he’s pretty sure it’s because they’ve seen people die before so…

At first, he had no idea why he had to be saddled with this depressing wisp of mortal but over time he started to understand that they weren’t all that sad. They had… Resting Gloom Face? Is that a thing? 

They also had a different way of seeing things. He could win the lottery and they’d tell him to stay inside so he wouldn’t get hit by lightning or if he pissed off the wrong people, they’d joke about him keeping his fingers and toes. Dark stuff, but not intended to be so… well morbid.

However, what he eventually found out that the REAL advantage to having a Hades kid in the Devildom was that nothing scared them. Literally nothing. Not even the ghosts - which to reiterate, are terrifying!

Cue Mammon getting dragged to horror movies nights with his brothers and pulling the MC along to be his personal security blanket. He’ll hold onto them for dear life as they just pat his head or something, watching and not even flinching at the jumpscares.

The first time the House had an unexpected power outage he clung onto the back of their shirt like a lost child while they calmly looked for the circuit-breaker...

If he could jump into their arms every time something scary happened like Scooby-Doo, he absolutely would. His brothers make fun of him, but after seeing the MC handle Cerberus like a puppy any time something frightens them they hide behind the mortal as well…

Leviathan

In some ways, he totally relates to their moodiness but come on! Who can still look so sad when watching The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demon Girl?? Ruri-chan can make anyone smile! 😠

When he first met the MC, he was a little confused about why they didn't find him intimidating at all. He even reverted to his demon form and showed his fangs but no dice! All they said was, "I've walked along the edge of Tartarus. You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, buddy…" 

That was probably his first sign that the "human" wasn't normal…

After Mammon told him who their Dad was, things made a lot more sense. A child of Hades in the Devildom? That's ironic enough to be its own anime plot!! They certainly felt like an angsty protagonist at times. 🤷‍♀️

Truth be told, they could relate to each other in a lot of ways. You wouldn't think that an offspring of the Underworld and a demonic shut-in would have much in common but the one thing they share between them is that sense of never really fitting in.

Turns out that Hades kids are black sheep, even among other demigods, and Levi? Well, he's had trouble relating to others since his angel days. He and the mortal were like off-beat kindred spirits!

Which, I mean, you wouldn't get just by looking at them together. Levi being the impassioned super-otaku rambling their ear off while his somber companion would just go along with him quietly, but hey, there's more beneath the surface. Probably. 

Now if he could just get them to cosplay as the Lord of Emptiness with him… They'd be perfect! Perfect he says!!

Satan

Highly considered drugging their food with antidepressants for a while… 

This was before getting to know them better, of course, but for the first couple months he honestly couldn't shake the feeling that the mortal looked miserable! 

Now, he's one to particularly care for the comfort of strangers, but just looking at them like that every day would sour his own mood quite considerably. It was very irritating...

It was only on closer inspection that he realized there was something else at play, though.

The mortal was different - even for a demigod he imagined. They took to the Devildom easily and the realm almost accepted them right back!

The flora looked better in their presence, the hellish beasts that roamed the wilds would roll over for them, and they even seemed to be welcomed in by the never-ending shadows… 

It was fascinating. Like the effects of the Underworld were baked into their DNA and mingled with the environment around them… Two layers of darkness coexisting within one person.

I mean, what other creature - other than Lucifer - could ride Cerberus around like a pony??

Had they not been so kind, they'd probably scare him shit-less... Their potential power was too great to ignore. But after getting used to their gloom, at least they made for pleasant company. 🤷‍♀️

Satan likes them well enough, but even still he has to wonder just what they were capable of… you know?

Asmodeus

Oh. My. WORD. What a buzzkill!!!

Really, the new mortal was no good at parties or pictures for that matter!

Not because they looked bad, or even because he couldn't get them to smile, but because GHOSTS would always photobomb any pictures they were in!! 😫

One time he got a selfie with them on the couch and a creepy ghost child could be seen hiding behind the cushions so NOPE. No more photos with the mortal around!!

Aside from that, he couldn't say the mortal was all bad or anything…They were pretty friendly, despite their general look and feel. 

Though, personally, he thought they wore far too much black... Even in the Devildom, there's normally a pop of color, you know? Was that just the Hades dress code?

And you want to know the weirdest thing? Despite everything about them screaming "Doom and Gloom," they're straaaangely popular among the RAD dating scene…

Like. Not as some heartthrob, "Love'em and Leave'em"-type, but he's found that there's a LOT of his demonic classmates who think they're cute or have a crush on them in some way…

Naturally, he can see the appeal of the mysterious, moody demigod with a dark, troubled past. It's just the demigod in question is completely oblivious to it! 🤷‍♀️

He tried to give them dating tips or play matchmaker from time to time but eventually gave up when it was clear they weren't interested. Alas, students of RAD, this is one forbidden fruit that refuses to be shared…! Such a tragedy… 😔

Beelzebub

They remind him of Belphie… like. A lot.

The similarities were obvious. They had a similar feel, made similar jokes, and even the same somewhat dreary attitude about them...

If he were being honest, at the beginning there were times when he'd open up to them a lot more than he intended because he'd forget that he wasn't actually talking to Belphie…

Thankfully, he knew better than to try and treat them like his replacement or anything. They were two different people after all. But it didn't stop him from feeling extra protective around them for a while.

Besides, there was ONE thing that set them leagues apart from Belphie and that was the fact they were a shit cook. Not quite as bad as Solomon but uh… Actually no, that's a closer call than it has any right to be...

Apparently, Hades kids don't need to eat as much and when you hang out with shades and skeletons for most of your life, you don’t really worry about making food that's any better than… "Well, technically it's edible." 🤷‍♀️

Their food won't kill a person like Solomon's, but you WILL start seeing stuff you probably shouldn't. He tried their "soup" once and swore he saw the ghost of his mother… and he doesn't even have a mother!!!

He swears that if he ever sees the MC and Solomon working together in the same kitchen he's skipping town… Whatever culinary abomination the two of them could create would probably gain sentience and eat HIM instead. He's always figured he'd go out with Death by Food, but not like that!! 😫

Belphegor

Ever meet someone who’s like looking in a mirror? Yeah, he’s getting those vibes…

He never expected the "human" to be so similar to him, it was kind of uncanny.

Upon first laying eyes on each other there was a pause… then a squint… and then… a nod.

Honestly, their combined dry wit, dark humor, and pessimistic outlook played off of each other surprisingly well. Too well for him to hate, really.

Not that it mattered because they didn’t believe him for a second when he tried to trick them (they had dealt with loads of lying monsters before). He hated to admit it, but they had a good head on their shoulders and knew better than to trust a locked up demon…

And yet, they seemed to stick around with him anyway. Because of the good conversation or just empathizing with his loneliness was anyone's guess. 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes they'd come up and sit outside the door in comfortable silence… Or they'd talk about whatever:

MC: *sitting out by the attic with their back against the door* So what happens to demons when they die…?

Belphie: *laying on the floor on the other side, staring at the ceiling* Depends on the kind. If I die, I'll just reform later.

MC: Like a reincarnation?

Belphie: Eh. *shrugs* Maybe. Haven't died yet.

MC: You could die in there, you know.

Belphie: *throws a side glare* Well thanks for bringing that up…

MC: *shrugs* What? It's true. But don't worry, I won't let you. *small-ish smile*

Belphie: *stares at them wide-eyed and pink-cheeked before turning on his side quickly* Ugh… whatever…

They did their word, somehow. They eventually got the door open and let him out, but by that time the anger was gone and he was just happy to finally talk to them face-to-face...

And good thing too, because apparently it's not smart to fight a death-child in what is essentially their element - as he saw when they summoned an army of skeletons to kick Levi's ass when he cheated them in Devil Cart...

He would not have lasted in that fight... Dodged a bullet there. 

[after-witch]

Thanks For Your Donation! [Yandere Shigaraki x Twitch Streamer Reader]

Title: Thanks For Your Donation! [Yandere Shigaraki x Twitch Streamer Reader]

Synopsis:  request, “Please I love that troupe where Shigaraki gets obsessed with a twitch stream and deluded himself into believing they’re together until he finally takes her home 🥰”

notes: yandere, kidnapping mention, creeper

Shigaraki glances down at the notification on his phone and his chest suddenly feels tight, anxiety blooming across his skin which makes him want to scratch, scratch, scratch. Your Twitch is live again--fuck, he can’t miss it.  He rapidly presses the save button on his Switch, impatient to devote his entire attention to his phone screen--to you.

But fuck, do you make it hard on him lately. You stream so much more now that you’ve gotten followers, gotten popular; donations have become a regular feature rather than something surprising, but those other guys, the ones who flash big donations and write insipid comments, aren’t really fans of yours. Not like he is. He’s been watching and donating and praising you since you were a nobody, a nothing streamer with barely 10 viewers per stream.

That was back when you used to just play games with your cheap little pink earbuds and your messy room behind you. When you used to feel more real, used to express yourself more openly. 

You stumbled over words and reacted naturally, which meant you were boring--or you would be boring, to someone that didn’t know you like he did. Sometimes the small circle of viewers would dwindle down to just Shigaraki and you’d talk to him, only him, replying to his chat messages with earnest honesty. Smiles. Jokes. It was so goddamn cute. He always donated one last time before signing off for the night and you would curl your fingers in a heart and cheerfully bid him good night.

But now that you’re getting big, you’re more polished, more presentable, more popular. And less… like you, he thinks.  You cleared out some little room just for your gaming streams and you have a nice headset now, a background that he can tell you carefully set up to create just the right vibe. You don’t have time for one-on-one convos with your viewers, because your streams never dwindle down, never fizzle out until you’re left awkwardly signing off. 

They’re full-fledged productions, now, whether you’re gaming or doing a Q&A or--these have become one of his favorites--doing a cute yet clearly rehearsed “sleepy morning” stream in your pajamas, picture-perfect coffee in your hand, where you muse about life and love and strawberry pancakes.

It’s cute, he admits, but it’s also too rehearsed. He misses the real you, the real personality that you used to let shine through when hardly anybody was watching. You would only show the real you for him, but now that he’s just one amongst a crowd, you keep yourself protected. He understands. You have an image to maintain, after all. 

It’s even changed your gaming habits. Now when you game, you react so dramatically, bordering on ridiculous. You would never scream at a horror game before--sure, you might cringe, or admit that your heart is pounding like a hammer, but you weren’t cartoonish. But it’s what those losers watching want--they want you to open your mouth so big when something scary happens in a game so they can screencap it and imagine you’re opening your mouth to do something… else. They want you to scream girlishly at jump scares or dramatically fawn over cute guy characters. And of course, they want you to react when they donate--they want to hear those sweet little words: “Thank you sooo much, you’re my number one fan!”

It’s your new little catch phrase, something you’ve integrated into every stream now. It’s even in your intro--“Hello, all my number one fans!”  It’s an in-joke now between your followers. All part of your brand.

Shigaraki knows you don’t mean to hurt him by calling other guys your number one fan. But it does. But it’s okay. He doesn’t hold it against you. He knows that you don’t really mean it, when you’re saying it to them; he’s smart, he can tell the difference in how you react to his donations versus the donations from the absolute shitheads who watch your streams. 

You mean it when you call him your number one fan. It’s the only way he can get you to say his name, now that you’re too busy to really respond properly to the chat. And it’s fine, really, nothing to get too upset over. Because when you finally meet in person, he’ll explain that he’s the only number one fan that you’ll ever need.

He jumps into the stream, annoyed at having missed the beginning, but what he sees on the screen instantly melts away any emotion other than pure adoration and obsession. You’re very… pink today. A pink oversized sweater and pink cat headphones and even glossy pink lipstick that makes your mouth look like candy. 

None of the freaks watching the stream know this, but Shigaraki is the reason why you feel comfortable wearing pink. He remembers one of your early streams, where you wondered out loud if it was cliche to be a girl gamer who likes pink; he’d told you that it was fine, and you’d thanked him. Who knows, without his sage advice, you might be wearing clothing you didn’t like. Wouldn’t that be a shame? He makes a mental note to remind you to thank him, somewhere down the line. Maybe when you were out on a date and wearing a short pink skirt and urging him to take a sip of your vanilla-cherry milkshake, letting him put his lips right on your straw.

A date… the thought makes him feel tight all over. Would you date him? I mean, you were practically dating already, truth be told. It just needed to be formalized. He’d spent so much money on you, and in the early days he knew exactly what his donations bought because you’d happily chatter on about getting a new game or perfume or stack of light novels because of his generosity. Of course, you didn’t talk as much as you used to--well, practically never, except when he donated--but that couldn’t be helped. You were stretched thin, being pulled in directions by these so-called-fans who watched your streams but didn’t give a fuck about the real you underneath. The real you that Shigaraki knows all too well.

Would you date him? No, more than that--did you love him? The way he loves you? The thought of the real you, the one who didn’t bite her lip oh-so-obviously in a bid to look adorable, the one who didn’t mind eating messy lunches while she gamed, the one who always always made sure to wish Shigaraki good night, makes him want to find out.

He rarely participates in the chat nowadays. There’s no point, when you rarely respond to anything other than answers to questions you ask, and even then you cherry pick from the countless replies that pop up in seconds. Donating is the best way to catch your eye, to hear those sweet words from your lips that you only mean when he donates.

But something makes him want to try, today. Maybe it’s all his nostalgia for your early days, the early connection you made that is still going strong. Maybe it’s the allure of the glossy pink lipstick smeared across your lips, making him think about how you might taste of cherries or strawberries or pure sugar.

Whatever it is, it’s pulling his fingers towards the chat, and before he knows it, he’s rapidly typed and hit enter. The second he does he begins to scratch furiously at his neck and he can feel the blood even as his message is quickly dominated by other messages in the chat, inane bullshit.

Tomura001: sry for the sudden question but I need to ask you something personal do you love me?

As a quick thought, he makes a donation, just to ease the nervousness that was flooding through him with every passing millisecond.

He hardly blinks as he stares intently at you, sitting in your chair with your pink lips and pink headphone and soft skin and--you glance over, where he knows you keep a larger screen to see the chat.

And suddenly, you’re speaking.

“Awww,” you say, your voice sweet and flattered, even. “Tomura! Of course I love you! You’re my number one fan!”

He can hear his heartbeat in his ears. You do love him. I mean, he knew this already; it’s the little things, like how you still have the light novels you bought with his money on your bookshelf and you thank him for his donations like you mean it and you feel confident enough to wear pink, all thanks to him. But he’s never heard it from your mouth before. From your lips. Soft and pink and inviting.

You love him.

You love him.

You love him.

He sets the phone down, a rare occurrence when he’s glued to your streams. But the emotions rushing through him are so strong that he’s worried it will slip out of his fingers and fall, crack on the floor.

He loves you. You love him. You belong to him. So why are you wasting your fucking time streaming to a bunch of worthless losers who don’t care about you? He can buy you the things you want, the things you like. He can clear out some space in his room so you can game together. And he knows girls like things clean, so he’ll even throw out the used soda cans and food wrappers before he brings you home.  You’ll appreciate that, just like you appreciated his donations and late-night practically empty stream chats. You’ll be happy with him. And he can see you and hear you and touch you in a way that he’s been dreaming about (and you’ve been dreaming about, he knows) for ages.

All he has to do is find your address--easy enough--and you’ll be living it up with him before you know it. 

He chews on his lip and picks up his phone. You’ve moved on--you had to, didn’t you, to keep those viewers donating--but he can tell by the way your lips are pursued that you’re thinking about him.

Your number one fan.

[sparring-spirals]

I can't believe I forgot about Fy'ra Rai!!!!! The guest battle royal with her was a week ago!!!! Anyways, would it by any chance be possible to see the in depth analysis you mentioned in the response to my previous ask? As well as the angstier ones? I want to hear everything. I love cr meta, and you're one of better cr meta writers I've found on this wonderful hellsite.

Oh Fy'ra Rai was exquisite in the battle royale. :'D Anjali's delivery with her is top notch.

Oh! Well first of all- thank you, so much, that's really fucking cool to hear!! :'D Fantastic meta was what actually first drew me into the fandom + made me start following more people, and start posting more. So: You're in luck, there are a Ton of fantastic meta writers for CR, and also I'm really, really honored I'm doing the same for others now. hell yeah.

(At some point I might scribble out a recommendation list of some of my faves, but if you traipse through the #character meta tag here you're bound to find a few you'll like, I'm sure. Seriously talented people abound.)

And uh- listen. If you're sure! Sure! :D Fair warning that since its basically three different half finished posts mashed into one:

1- its long.

2- its even less edited than normal, so flowery as hell, long winded, rambly, potentially misspellings here and there.

There are bits that I've pulled out potentially to write a separate meta on (aka dorian feelz), but this is the gist of it. I labelled it to help break it up a bit!

this gem

wait this concept is funny so im moving it to the top: the exu trio dynamic is just two people affectionately looking at the third with a mix of love and concern and then looking at each other like "can u get a load of this". except in all combinations. thats it.

exu vibes, aka party of few braincell many love

I keep thinking about the EXU party, and the way they really, really, just liked each other. Everyone in the party was- lonely, or newly alone, or missing people. No session 0 pairs, just people missing a sister or feeling isolated or grieving, or running, terrified. And they came together and got blackout drunk and like- their intro is a domestic morning and a pissing contest. The EXU party liked each other so much. Right off the bat. They were terrified and panicking and they were also having a fucking blast, with each other. Doing orange-peel slice smiles. Performing for crowds. Sticking hands into ash-holes. And then I think about them split in two, Opal and Dariax somewhere together (if they were going to leave it to one person to keep her company, best to leave it to Dariax, armed with a sense of optimism like a mallet, as stubborn as it is hopeful). And thinking about the EXU trio, losing any more of themselves? A tripod without one of its legs? They like each other so much. They lean so close on each other. Please, dont rip them apart any further :(

exu vibes but angsty

(Even if they all come back together, their worlds have been so different, their experiences. Even if they all make it out. Even if they're all okay. Which is the way of things, sometimes, but Im also thinking about that first meeting, Opal yelling "FOOOOOOD" and everyone failing to interrogate a "gardener". Itll never be exactly the same, I know, so all we can hope for is everyone being okay enough to fondly remnisce on those times as well.)

(and I keep thinking about Dorian, running and running and unfurling from his shell, learning to lean on his friends, learning to express himself, learning, growing, happy. Having to rip that down. For a little while, he was happy. Safe. Overjoyed. Just a little while. Of course he couldn't have it forever, right?)

(Im really sad about dorian actually but that might need to be its own meta)

dorian and orym, tired dads

Dorian and Orym very much had the "tired team dads" vibe during EXU (they were the only ones who seemed to consistently hold the brain cells), which was already delightful. But there was still a formality there, I think, and they didn't fully trust each other, which is how you end up with them nearly getting into a fight over the crown in early EXU days. But fast forward to C3, with Fearne between them gleefully causing mayhem wherever they go, and its just. There's a sort of settled comfort, that wasn't there before. They've already weathered some Shit with each other, they don't know everything about each other but they get each other, they trust each other, they love each other- all still undercut with a sort of shared, tired amusement. For two characters who are (Relatively) reserved, and guarded, sharing a knowing look over the head of Fearne is- its good! :)

fearne is third leg of tripod and also steals tripod

Not to say that Fearne is just an addendum to the two of them, because oh god no. Fearne would never. Fearne is a fae, and Fearne is Fearne, which means she loves Mayhem and Chaos and Problems, but she loves Dorian and Dariax too. She enjoys teasing them, yes, and giving them mild conniptions, but you also see her giving them healing, getting sad at the prospect of being separated. Fearne collects trinkets, and that means them, too. They're hers, and she's theirs (as much as anyone can Have Fearne), and she loves them.

dorian and dariax, liar and a fool

Oh, and Dorian and Dariax. The more we learn about Dorian the more I love their interactions in EXU. Dorian, running from expectations and shackles, meeting Dariax who would never ask for anything more of you than what you are. Dorian, made of 20 lies stitched together and chock full of anxiety, meeting Dariax, whose worldview is so, so, simple, and honest, who thinks Dorian is cool as hell, who likes Dorian for him. And Dariax, who is used to being underestimated and mocked, being treated kindly and sincerely and with respect from this fancy blue boy. The Double D's (YES they coined this themselves) were just. Agh. Fucking pure. Okay. They both called out for each other by instinct at different points in the campaign and like. Goddammit.

fearne you wanted to bring opal to the ocean

also Fearne liked Opal A Lot. Like. Goddamn. Theres something about that, the way Fearne is untouchable until she very suddenly isn't.

pretty pretty rich kids with the world on their shoulders

Dorian and Opal were like. I feel like its well summed up by the two of them banding together early on and doing a "we'RE NEW IN TOWN AND LOOKING FOR DAGGERS" bit sums it up. I think there's a level of- not wealth, per se, but a little bit of Extreme Younger Sibling vibes coming off both of them. Of things to live up to and endless debts and expectations that they never had control over. I kind of wish Opal were here, now. Ready to get excied about a ball with Dorian. Ready to rip off anyones head that makes him uncomfortable. Silent and understanding about going home, with all the ubwanted eyes and expectations you thought you'd outgrown. God, I really do wish Opal was there- I think she'd get it, maybe better than those present can. I really think she would.

[hedgefairy]

Bridgerton Season 2, Episode 1: Here we go again (why)

After giving up on my recaps of season one because there are more fun things than thinking about this clusterfuck I thought I might as well try again with season two. I'm watching this while sewing, so we'll see how much of it will actually register in my brain. Fun!

Before I even press play I see the eldest Bridgerbro emerging from a lake with his thin white shirt clinging to his body. I'd like to have that muslin, please, but also, somebody was obviously obsessed with the 2005 Pride and Prejudice in their teens, eh (I had a friend like that, too)?

Oh, look, a recap. Let's establish again that Eloise has no manners because she's not like other girls, that Lady Whistleblower is a thing, that Daphne is the most boring sex offender ever (eugh) and that Simon is a hottie with mediocre writing. Also, the Queen is a bit of a bitch (can we have some George IV, please? He was fun!), Bridgerbro A has all the ~responsibilities~ and can't live up to his fullest fucktwit potential (he does try, however) and there was that Fake Pregnancy Tragic Jealousy Youngest Bridgerbro-Marina-Unfortunately Dressed Girl Love Triangle arc thing. I forgot almost all the names, it's gonna be great.

Let's skip the recap, it's boring and I have fabric to cut.

So we start out with Eloise emerging (beautifully, of course) from her chambers in her debut-meet the queen-be declared a diamond of the first water dress, but the maids seem really distressed. Nobody cares about the staff in this series!

The queen quips that she hasn't heard a word of Lady Whistledown since last season. Clever! She also comes to the groundbreaking conclusion that Whistleblower is probably someone from the upper class! As if the staff didn't have better things to do, even if I'd be fully satisfied with someone spilling all the tea on their superiors, I'd watch that.

We're back in the Featherington household who's in mourning, because Lord F got shivved back in Season 1. This doesn't make the dresses less un-fucking-flattering on Penny, because now there's no pattern to break up the surface, but I am spotting a nice Halloween orange-black stripe on one of her sisters, so that's nice (it would have been nicer if Penny could have had some of that, too).

The eldest Bridgerbro has had a haircut and looks far less Regency-ish now. I'm disappointed. Now he's boring as well as a horrible fuckboy. Eloise gets rescued from being introduced to the queen and deemed less of a diamond than Daffy by the newest gossip girl post Whistledown letter being carried in, and the monarch is far more into the society's dirty laundry than watching a girl squirm in a formal setting.

And this thirst for tea concludes the first episode, accompanied by a "Dearest Gentle Reader, did you miss me", which I should totally adopt for these re...

Oh, wait, there's the intro. That was only the first six minutes.

Welcome to Bridgerton, Series 2, I guess.

Dearest Gentle Reader, did you miss me? Also, can I just have a series on the adventures of the street urchin (or course, polished in disney park-esque Bridgerton fashion, no dirt anywhere, not here, no, gentlefolks) who delivers the Whistleblower Gossip Girl leaflets?

The actress of Penny gets to break out her native Irish accent - if you want more of that, give a listen to Whistle Through the Shamrocks, which she also co-wrote and co-produced - while we get to see behind the scenes of the Lady Whistledown operations. Turns out, the Irish maid of Lady Gossip Girl actually does care about the lower classes. Nice.

Back at the Bridgerbore House we see Eloise, who must be seventeen or so at this point and is played by someone of my vintage (cool, I could still play a teen, that's so reassuring!), endure dance lessons with a twelve-year-old as her partner. Aren't there enough older brothers around that seem to have nothing better to do? Then again, with Regency dances, the height doesn't matter anyway. I'm just happy to see more of the younger Bridgertons, because we don't really know them yet and they might prove interesting enough to get invested.

Followed by some exposition where Ducktail Colin is hanging out at the moment, apparently he's chilling in Albania. Eloise's hair looks so much better this season! On the other hand, Lady B's dress looks like a Seventies house coat, and not the good kind.

Antony is holding auditions for a wife. We get - pretty people pleaser who keeps adding to her potential number of children to win the guy's approval - overwhelmed 1940s time traveller - harp lesbian who doesn't read -probably not the 80s coiffed blonde who's bed he's just getting out of (he's got a nice ass but gives bad tips) - about fourteen year-old polyglot overachiever (is it problematic that she's played by an asian actress?) (you can do so much better, girl) - someone who actually has a face and prefers a quadrille over him - a girl who is pretty creative and even MAKES HER OWN HATS CAN I DATE HER WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM BRIDGERBRO? - another non-elegible badly tipped sexworker (brunette) and that's it. He seems quite anal about it and he has a list of questions. And he actually has to work to keep up the estate for once, which I find an adequate punishment for his existence as a whole. This tires him out so much that he has to have a somber trot around the park in the early morning hours (after tipping badly). This is when we see someone who obviously knows how to handle a horse gallop across the glen, but because the person is wearing a skirt our Bridgerbro instantly thinks she's having trouble with her car mount. She's obviously into the chase (and we love a hooded cape-on-horse situation) and, I admit, very fucking hot. Wait, is she that one girl from Sex Education? Makes sense, she was already super pretty there.

She's too cool for you, man.

Also, stop mansplaining.

Apparently Too Awesome For Antony (who's name seems to be Kate, but I'll keep referring to her as TAFA) is a guest of Lady Danbury's, together with her mother and younger sister. Bridgerton is a very dad-less series.

She has a corgi (negative points for Danbury for looking at him in a non-dog-adoring way). Named Newton. She's definitely too good for the fuckbro.

"Her Majesty is most... discerning, you understand" Translation: "She's a straight-up bitch, but she's fun to gossip with" - Lady Danbury

TAFA is 26, which makes her an old maid in the Bridgerverse, but she's too awesome to care, and I hereby vote on her staying single, or, if she desperately must wed the Idiot, her divorcing him shortly after and continuing being cool on her own with only casual very bisexual adventures. Yeah? Yeah.

She's also a super supportive older sister and they seem to have a really sweet bond. That's what I want to see, thank you! TAFA keeps telling Danbury off for thinking anything less than stellar of her little sister, which I think is such a boss move - Danbury is cool, don't get me wrong, but she's a bit of a meddler and not informing herself of the girls' education is a gross oversight that I feel is a bit out of character for a schemer like her?

We get some bestie time with Eloise and Penny, and while Eloise's hat is weird (what is it with the midcentury stuff this season?) I kind of enjoy playing them off each other's characteristics. Also, mourning doesn't seem to be a thing outside the Featherington house? Is it over already? How long has it been? What is Time?!

Speaking of the Featheringtons, their lady's maid still looks like a cheap copy of Downton Abbey's O'Brian. WTF is up with that.

TAFA and her sister attend the first ball of the season. There's the Vitaming String version of Material Girl playing in the background, ironically so, because just a minute ago TAFA told her sister that fortune and title are no useful pointers to a partner's qualities. Danbury, however, does the song justice and basically draws up a financial spreadsheet for all the eligible bachelors and widowers she can find.

Enter the Bridgerblerghs, I enjoy Benedict (can he get some screen time and a boyfriends, please), Eloise is okay, Antony I don't like and Lady B is embarassing him by shouting about the room that he's in need of a wife. Parents, am I right?

Apparently TAFA's and Edwina's mum has some sort of scandal attached to her because all the evil mothers (which, of course, excludes Lady B) are gossipping away at her sight. Oh gasp, she apparently married a commoner who already had a kid (TAFA, that you?) and her parents totally disowned her for that, at least mentally.

As a side quest we get Lady Featherington being not-so-subtly bitched at by the parents of the guy wooing one of her daughters, including jabs at her short mourning period (the colour of her dress is stunning for her, I have to admit). She's playing the Recently Widowed card to get out of them asking for her daughters dowry (maybe not the place for that, in a public place and all, can't you make appointments for that?) which she can't pay because she's broke because her husband gambled everything away and then got shivved for it and not she's got to wait for some unknown distant cousin or somesuch to take over the estate and the paying of things.

TAFA and Edwina get introduced to some stuck-up looking guy who's about twice the length of Edwina (there's also a dude with unruly red hair who seems to always get the shorter end of the stick, we'll see if he gets to be more than a background joke). Danbury and TAFA keep bitching at each other (well, the bitching is mostly on Danbury's part) while we get some exposition on societal rules.

Somewhere between the curtains that lavishly decorate the location Penny is casually eavesdropping on gossip for her next column. Eloise drops by, pursued not by a bear but two suitable young men who would read every wish from her eyes if she didn't rebuke them. She apparently just scribbled Lord Byron or other celebs onto every line of her dance card, which I think is funny, and I'd like to see that encounter.

All the while, TAFA is already looking kinda sadly at the guy she is TAF, and while he's outside with his frat bro fellow bachelors (the phrase "wed, bed and bred" occurs and I feel a bit sick but it would be a shame because I had really nice cheese cake for breakfast) she is, of course, also stepping out. We've all been there at parties, trying to casually stalk a guy we much later realise we're much too good for. TAFA overhears this horrible bullshit and still isn't appalled because Bridgerbro said he wants a wife with some brain and wit, and because hormornes suck she's probably thinking something along the lines of "hey, that's me!". She trips over something, he hears she's there and it's all rather uncomfortable and a bit cringe. However, she tears him a new one for being a sexist idiot and thinking that anyone who meets his standards would actually want anything to do with his sorry ass.

Nice.

She compares his character to his horsemanship (which is sufficient) and leaves him standing there like the complete idiot that he is, and of course he's intrigued now. I mean, who wouldn't be, but does it have to be that guy? I'd be okay for her to marry Benedict, even if I still have hopes for him to be queer! Just not Aaaantony.

Back inside we have some more Eloise and Penny, and while Penny wants to sneak off on Gossip Girl business Eloise tells here that she's happy to have her and with her never has to be alone. If that's not a hidden sapphic confession I don't know what is. Just let her be a lesbian? Please? Can you spare some queerness, sir? *begs in London street urchin*

Benedict is a brat to his mum and I love him for that.

The aftermath of the ball (which TAFA left in a hurry, probably because the eldest Bridgerbro is an idiot) is narrated by Lady Whistleblower, and we see said Bridgerbro burning a program of the opera singer he still dated last season who had not been mentioned again.

I'm so annoyed by the whole "diamond" business. What is this, Topmodel? Just as annoyed and bored are the youngest two Bridgertons who I hope go and run away with the circus because that's always fun and I think we could use some of that aesthetic here. Oh fuck, no, that's not the two youngest, it's Eloise and Background Joke Bloke, he just looked so nervous that I mistook him for her twelve year-old brother. Poor boy. Fittingly, he goes off to play marbles with the actual two youngest in a corner, good for him!

We also see the return of the milliner/dressmaker with the fake French accent from last season. Didn't Benedict have a thing with her? Yeah, he did, and she's not interested in rekindling that. He continues to be a brat to Antony, rightfully so. More of that, please, the guy needs roasting.

God, I hate Antony so much. "I'm looking for perfection", yeah, but Perfection isn't looking for you, so sod off.

While in the Bridgerton household people are annoying but happy, the Featheringtons continue to struggle, with Lady F even trying to sell Penny's books. The middle sister keeps pestering Penny about what she's writing and is generally insufferable, and we learn where the Whistleblower pages are hidden (it's a floornboard).

Lady Danbury is a smoker. She is also telling TAFA that she knows all about her morning rides and accuses her of an ulterior motive in coming to London. Also, yes, TAFA is the commoner's daughter. Turns out, her step-grandparents will provide for her mother and her sister's dowry, but only if the latter marries a good English lad with a title because they still have commoner trauma from their daughter. TAFA rants on how she would, if she could, marry for her families safety and how English tea is horrible if you grew up in India. Danbury seems to be able to respect that and sets out to scheme Edwina into The Diamond *da-da-daaaaaah* It certainly doesn't help that the queen apparently took the girls' mother's departure from London all those years ago as a personal insult and continues bitching at her.

Benedict continues to be a lovably sarcastic fuck as Eloise fumbles through her introduction with the queen, accidentally making a good impression. Afterwards the queen bee (Cressida!) and her cheerleaders come to her and Penny's uncool kids table to woo her into becoming one of them, but Eloise proclaims that she's rather die. Penny and her share a nice moment in a field of daffodils which I distinctly remember from my childhood as being full of ants, so that must be uncomfortable. Penny almost confesses to being Gossip Girl and Eloise talks about how being perfect Daffy's sister is no fun at all. The scene is lovely, and I get it when Penny talks about being invisible and that being fun, too. Also, that's a really cute dress on her for once, I love the stars! (Also strong roommates vibes, I approve.)

What I don't approve of is the switch back to the ballroom and the queen. And the season's diamons iiiiiiiisssss... *drumroll*

EDWINNIE! Good for her!

The look of disbelief, relief and love that the sisters share upon this announcement is so cute, they play this dynamic so well, it's a shame that Antony Bridgerton is in this show. Who can't do anything but step up and insert himself in the scene of Edwina shaking hands with the queen because of course he wants to marry ~The Diamond~ even though she looks like she's fourteen and scared. And their first fucking interaction is him asking her about her thoughts about having fucking children, what the fuck is wrong with you?! God, this all seems so wrong.

In lack of a father (again, everything is very dad-less) older Bridgerbro needs to get the blessing of Edwinas sister to marry her (five minutes after meeting her for the first time, this is some Disney princess level bullshit right there) who, as we already know, is none other than TAFA.

Some cringes later the camera switches to the Featherington home to show a pile of old shit, hat boxes and taxidermied bears which, to be honest, could be mine. The new heir has finally arrived.

He looks like a grown-up, handsome Michael Cera?

And he's funny. This is the stuff I want to see!

For once Lady Whistledown and I are of one mind when she calls out the ludacrisy of the whole diamond business. And with this rare occasion, the episode is finally over.

Good for you if you made it to this point! But beware, it's...

...to be continued

Rating: Three diamonds out of a liquor cabinet

Series I'd rather watch: - Dishing Out and Serving Tea: Downstairs Gossip Girl - The Adventures of Little Pip, distributer of scandal - Penny & Eloise - Scribble & Sleuth - something where Eloise and maybe Penny meet Lord Byron

[howlingday]

About Jaune ships...

I have opinions. You may not agree, but they are mine. They may change in time, but not now.

LANCASTER ( RUBY X JAUNE )

The old tried and true. I mean, what's not to like? Cute girl falls for first guy she meets at Beacon? Classic romance trope, and after reading how much Ruby loves romance stories (I consider certain parts in the manga canon), it makes sense. In fact, after Arkos sank (A moment of silence, please . . . Thank you), many moved to Lancaster, which isn't bad. Happens all the time in fandoms. Sad thing, though, is far I think she'll last. If we're talking Volume 5 or earlier, then maybe. However, I feel if Ruby were to have an endgame in romance, it would be RoseGarden (I have opinions on that as well, but today isn't the day to discuss that), mostly because Oscar bumped Jaune's role from male lead to male side. Not to mention that while Jaune is becoming a beast in his own right, Ruby is a different creature altogether and evolving her character more rapidly and chaotically than anyone else (Must be all that screentime).

TLDR: I want it to be canon, but I might just be hoping.

WHITE KNIGHT ( WEISS X JAUNE)

Doofus in tin foil meets princess who hates daddy (Am I in the romance section of the library? You know, the corner for adults only?) No, but I do like this ship. I'm always a sucker for the fantasy genre, and using a zero to hero male makes it relatable. I also kind of ship it because the same reason I ship NaruSaku in the Naruto fandom: he likes her and he's willing to go the distance. But enough about that; instead let's talk about canon. Will they hook up? It's a soft maybe for me, for two reasons. 1. Rosegarden is most likely to be endgame, and after Ruby and Pyrrha, I'd say Weiss is Jaune's next to be his love interest. 2. Weiss has warmed up to Jaune. Sure, not lover or crush level (Yet), but she's definitely changed her opinion on him. In Volume 1, Jaune was bugging her, like all the time, which I could see as him getting mixed signals on (Exhibit A: Tall, blonde, and scraggly). When Volume 5 came around, everyone jumped onboard because he saved her life (Don't lie, because I'll admit that I did it, too). Not the best reason, but still reason enough, I'd say. Then in Volume 7, she hangs out with him and Oscar to the movies (It was either that or awkward Bumbleby all night. I feel ya, sister). Nothing romantic happens, but it does show how much their relationship has developed. If Weiss is Jaune's endgame, then they have set the pieces up perfectly to do so.

TLDR: High likelihood to be canon and I'm a sucker for Knight/Princess ships.

KNIGHTSHADE ( BLAKE X JAUNE)

This is the part where I say definitely not. Not in a million years, but I'll explain why I like the ship, though. As for why it won't work, the answer is Bumbleby. They haven't kissed yet, but you know they're going to eventually (Because if they don't, the fans will attack like a swarm of hornets). But here's the question you might be asking now: why do I ship this? Well, it's part of the allure of "opposites attract" ('Cause I'm dressed like a cat!). Blake is an intelligent, outspoken, and agile ninja with a criminal history of terrorism who spends her free time reading novels. Jaune is a B at best on his tests, soft-hearted, and ground-based knight who's worst crime is fraud (Still a crime, but peanuts compared to literal terrorism) and spends his free time hanging out with his team. Day and night. But they also tried that with Sun for a season and a half and it didn't last (BECAUSE BEES).

TLDR: Not even a snowball's chance in the summer sun, but so much story potential if you do (Which I do)!

DRAGONSLAYER ( YANG X JAUNE )

This, I would say, is the opposite of Knightshade, where Jaune is the day and Blake is night, here Yang is the Sun and Jaune is the Moon (Like their crests! Remember those? Y'know, when they were relevant?) Will it work? Even less so than Knightshade. However, it does open up some interesting paths considering how... provocative Yang can be, and Jaune, compared to the other guys, is the nerdiest, geekiest dude at Beacon. It's like the cheerleader/nerd romance, except the cheerleader is the captain of every sports team... and rides a motorcycle. The Volume 8 preview introduced us to Yang and Jaune riding motorcycles and we went nuts over it. Yang was back in her element, roaring down the street, riding on walls, popping off tricks with Oscar riding- Back to what I was saying, people were asking, "How did he know how to ride a motorcycle?" and the elementary answer is "He didn't." He almost fell off his bike from a small box in the road. True, anyone would, but look at how he reacts: he stiffens, he refocuses on the road. This kid literally started riding at breakfast, and I DARE you to prove me wrong. But hey, great fic material right there, though, eh?

TLDR: Never gonna happen, but I don't care. All I care about is writing that they love each other. And they also fu-!

ARKOS ( PYRRHA X JAUNE )

I'm sorry, I need a moment. . . . Alright. Do it for her. This ship... was perfect. Probably the best ship out them all. I legit almost cry every time I think about Volume 3. Pyrrha was everyone's favorite. Her background, her interactions, her choreography, everything! But, of course, like everything in our lives, she was too good to be true. But let's honor her memory by talking about her ship, Arkos. Pyrrha was the champion of the world, the Brothers' and Oums' gift to Remnant. She could do no wrong and she HATED it. Her plight was with how she was seen. Everybody knew her! Everybody, except Jaune. And he only figured out she was "a big deal" was because Weiss had to spell it out for him! As time went on, they became the best of friends, two peas in a pod, the perfect odd couple! They worked together and trusted each other, they cared for and supported each other, they lo- No. No, I can't say it. It's been years, and it still hurts. So, I'll explain something else: the reason why Jaune SHOULD NOT be shipped right now. That reason is Pyrrha. Jaune was helpless to save her. He's suffering from survivor's guilt and he's still grieving. In Volume 4, he would sneak away and train until late at night to scroll recording of her. In Volume 5, he confronted Cinder and got Weiss almost killed because he let his grief for Pyrrha take control of him and let his emotions run wild. In Volume 6, he finds the Pyrrha statue and he... I don't know how to say this, but he let's go. He accepts that Pyrrha is gone and he's starting the healing process. He's finally ready to move forward.

TLDR: T.T I never felt that it was wise to wish too much~

MARTIAL ARCS ( REN X JAUNE)

I'll be honest, I don't really ship it. Yeah, it's cute, and it falls perfectly into the "if I had to pick a guy" part of me, but to be honest, I don't ship it. 10% because Renora and 90% it just doesn't click with me. They both just seem too soft, too quiet, too introverted. Best friends? Yes, definitely! But lovers? Eeeeeh, not really.

TLDR: I will only ship as neccessary.

NORA'S ARC ( NORA X JAUNE )

I've only just got in this deep with the fandom only recently, so I don't know if a lot of you know me. Heck, I'm probably just some RWBY fan you happen to spot as you move through your dash. However, old or new, I want to be made absolutely positively clear on this. Of all the ships here, this has got to be my-

O T FUDGIN' P

Wow! Never thought I'd feel so strongly about a crack ship like this. And yes, as sad it is to say, this is a crack ship. Renora was planned from day one, so it can't be helped. At least it didn't blast me in the face all of the sudden (OH NO, NOT THE BEES! AAAAARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!). But why this ship? Well, for one thing, it's that whole opposites attract thing with Nora as the bubbly, outspoken, airhead powerhouse and Jaune as the soft spoken, introverted, nerd tactician. But wait, there's more to this trope, because it can go deeper: Order VS Chaos! Who makes all the messes? Who cleans up those messes? Who follows all the rules? Who makes their own doors? It's just. So. Damn! GOOD! One sad thing about this ship though is that it's not only not canon because of Renora, it's anti-canon because Renora. Every fan fic of Nora's Arc requires an explanation for Ren and Nora to not be together-together, like you have to write a formal apology to the FNDM for liking something that's different from what is canon or commonly accepted. If that's the case, then I'll be the anarchist here!

TLDR: I LOVE IT! What's that? Not canon? Who gives a damn?! I just explained why Jaune won't be shipped anyways! Now, if you'll excuse, I have some fan fics to find.

ARCFALL ( CINDER X JAUNE )

Oh, here it goes! Now, if we're talking ships that'll never happen, this is where we find better reasons than "it's not canon" and "character development". No, this... This is a declaration of war. Allow me to explain. Cinder Fall is evil. Like, down to her core. She wants power and she'll cut through anyone to get to it. Including Pyrrha. This woman sank Arkos by means other than "X and Y kissed, so..." She killed X, leaving Y alone. And her interactions with Jaune tell me she wouldn't even be worth a hate-bang. But, as Momma always, there's a thin line between love and hate. This is where the appeal comes in. Cinder is evil with no past, which leaves the previous chapter's of her life story blank to be filled in. Jaune is good with a troublesome, albeit easy past, but untapped potential for more. It's another opposites attract, but different from INTRO VS EXTRO and CHAOS VS ORDER; this is GOOD VS EVIL. Who will win this battle of wills; will our hero purify the tainted heart, or will he slip deeper into darkness, never to return to the light?

TLDR: Should be a NOTP, and yet the allure pulls me in.

What do y'all think? Do you agree? Let me know!

[mundungs]

ϟ.  → robert sheehan : genderfluid : he/they/she : dealer of illicit objects and substances : the raven by the alan parsons project ϟ  did you see mundungus fletcher ? you know ,  31 year old halfblood who was formally in ravenclaw. some say dung can be quite furtive but are known to be unreliable. they are aligned with the order .  maybe that’s why they remind me of naming stray cats, flicking a lighter over and over again, falling asleep on the subway. ϟ 

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ciannán o’donnell is a flighty man, one of many relationships and flings and little loyalty, and so his affair with maeve fletcher does not last long. when she tells him she is pregnant, he moves on to a different woman, and maeve has her son alone, with her sister on her side. and thus, mundungus is born (and giving an arguably atrocious name).

he grows up with his mum – a halfblooded witch and by far his favourite person in the world – in limerick, attending muggle school there. he knew who his dad was, but wasn’t quite sure how to feel about — his father is a criminal, a prominent member of the irish mob. 

he meets his dad for the first time at age seven, and was nothing but impressed. his dad showered him with gifts, his mum watching with a furious look on her face but biting her tongue. that moment was a switch for mundungus; he felt the need to impress his dad. he stole some sweets from a store on his way home from school a week later, fished some pennies out of the pockets of his classmates a few months later. when he phoned his dad to tell him, his laugh was warm and filled with life. his relationship with his dad got better as his behaviour got worse. the thrill of stealing, of doing stuff he wasn’t supposed to, lit him not only on fire because it was exciting, but also because he knew his dad would adore it. 

but ciannan, a flighty man, pushes and pulls. and so mundungus was fed disappointment by his father, liking love off a shiny knife rather than a spoon ( silver or plastic, what the fuck does it matter ). details omitted, long story made short: his dad sucks and his mother tries, but mundungus is pulled towards that what smells of danger.

DRUGS MENT. at hogwarts, dung is sorted into ravenclaw. not at all the booksmart type, he falls more into the chaotic-creativity, random-bursts-of-wanting-to-learn-everything-about-something type of ravenclaw. there’s two worlds, then: the muggle world, where he slowly dips his water further in criminal waters, and the wizarding one, where he’s chaotic and messy but a student. when he grows older, these overlap: dung starts selling some of his dad’s weed at hogwarts, and soon gains a reputation of being able to get people less-than-legal shit. 

not getting high off your own supply is not a sentiment he agrees with. not then, not later, not now. dung is fun, always in for a party and willing to supply the goods to throw it. if some rich purebloods lose a few galleons at said party, well, it sure isn’t him! END OF TW

he graduates with two newts, in herbology and potions, failing his dada and charms exams. he’s not an academic.

falling into the family business after graduation is easy. mundungus is attracted by the criminal underworld, both that of muggle ireland and that of the wizarding world. knockturn alley was a place frequented in teenage years, but now becomes more his place. he makes connections, exchanges strange potion recipes for other things. makes an odd wager on a bunch of stolen brass scales and turns a profit. 

a career is not something that interests him; he is more interested in bending rules and making quick money. thievery, selling illegal shit, heists, fraud, fuck-all. mundungus is not limited by one descriptor, one kind of criminality. he just does what he wants and hopes to make a good penny.

but then he almost gets sent to azkaban over some, in his frank opinion, bullshit. it’s dumbledore who talks the wizengamot out of it, saddling dung up with some community service and persuading him towards the order. he’s twenty three. the war is still fresh. he has no interest in it, but he owes the old man. fine.

mundungus does vehemently oppose blood purity and any kind of discriminatory ideals, an anarchist in his very bones, but he is also cowardly. to side with self-proclaimed rebels is not in his blood and yet it’s where he ends up, bringing shady ties to the underworld to the table and a sheer ability to sneak around and fuck the law. and maybe, amidst the ranks of the order, dung finds something he’s not very familiar with: a large family. and dung? well, he’s the stoner, gay, super-fucking-chaotic cousin.

personality

if jesper fahey and kaz brekker had a child, it would be dung. 

other character parallels: fezco ( euphoria ), boris ( the goldfinch ), doug judy ( b99 ), jason mendoza ( the good place ), chris miles ( skins ),  nick miller ( new girl ), creed bratton ( the office ), scott lang ( marvel ), lillian ( unbreakable kimmy schmidt )

technically he’s homeless. he’s got a bedroom at his ma’s place, has a ton of squatter connects in the muggle scene and couch surfes aplenty, but dung doesn’t rent a place. why? landlords are evil. he could afford a place, just doesn’t see the point. life’s better with some adventure.

appears very neutral in public as it’s beneficial to his role in the order??? 

.... tortured artist. writes poetry and loves to draw and paint. 

tattooed the fuck up. some are his own designs.

can usually be spotted wearing The Coat, a rly expensive, vintage long coat that he once stole of a pureblood. he’s enlarged the pockets with some handy spellwork and pretty much carries everything he owes in there, like his produce and his money and his second pair of shoes and his art supplies and probably some random trash. 

loves animals. he loves stray cats especially <3 they are his kin. 

an anarchist. a bit of a punk. a deep idealist with a cowardly heart so constantly betraying himself (and sometimes others?)

queer! enby! genderfluid! i used he/him pronouns throughout this intro but dung truly doesn’t give a damn what u use. loves to dress up in feminine clothes. 

has a ton of aliases, lol, the most important one being marigold fincher. 

cusses too fuckin much to be healthy :/

oh no he is a big sad insecure kid deep inside :/ dont tell anyone how embarrassing!!!! shhhh!! it’s a secret.

quick connection ideas

victim. wow please. if your character is rich. let me steal from u. pick ur pockets. break into ur house. get some of ur stuff and drop it on the black market. 

customer. dung sells. whatever u need. drugs. weird magical things. ask and ye shall receive. his prices are whack but he does deliver <3

pal. party friends! order friends! random encounter friends! dung has a trashmouth and loves to talk pls let him chat u up and u will never be rid of him <3

couch. he couch surfs. a lot. if ur character trusts dung enough to let him into their home (which they shouldnt) then pls let him sleep over for a night. he will leave a strangely expensive necklace on ur kitchen table as a thank u. or wilted flowers. no in between.

skeptic. ur char is in the order and thinks dung is a liability and maybe they have a point. a point mundungus would rather not face :)

dmle bitches. dung hates anyone authoritative but esp the coppers at the ministry (hit wix & aurors) (yea he calls them coppers sorry he doesnt respect them enough to call them aurors <3). give me that doug judy/jake peralta dynamic. or just someone in the dmle who is like ... sigh this guy again??? 

fwb/one night stand/fling/etc. he’s a bit slutty <333 give him some ppl he’s hooked up with / will hook up with.

[ressyfaerie]

Fanfic request: Kai/Tysons first kiss and how you think it would go down! (English Dub names please!) :)

This is sooo hard because I have at least 3856859 different AUs of their first kiss aaahhh. I can't decide if I want this one to be angsty, fluffy, or everything in between aaahh! Regardless, I’m going to write something good! Okay I’m done, it ended up being much longer than expected AND i really self-indulged in this one we've got flowers, cars- just I know you’ll like it. 

I’m popping this into a read more after the intro because it's a bit long for the dashboard lol.

“Is there a note?” 

Ray eyed the flowers suspiciously. 

Tyson held the wooden planter box in his arms, “uh- I don’t think so?” 

“Who would send a planter box instead of just cut flowers?” Hilary thought it was the worst kind of romantic gesture. 

“Look!” Max dug his hands into the flowers. 

“What kind of flowers are these Tyson?” Ray asked, eyeing the blue petals with awe. 

“They’re Himalayan blue poppies… They’re not easy to grow.” 

Max pulled out a small slip of paper hidden in the stems. 

“How do you know so much about gardening?” Hilary had no idea when he found the time to pick up a hobby that was so- unlike Tyson. 

“I found my mother's old gardening books! I’ve been taking care of the dojo gardens on the weekends since grandpa’s back is so bad- what does the note say?” 

Max read it out loud, “A unique flower, for a unique person.” 

“Do we recognize the handwriting?” Kenny fixed his glasses, analyzing the situation. 

“It’s been typed.” Max pointed out while flipping the note around for everyone to see. 

Tyson inspected the flowers. He had never seen blue poppies before, they were one of his mother’s favourites. 

“Whoever sent it, they know me well.” Tyson smiled. 

“How come?” Ray asked. 

“I don’t like cut flowers. I feel bad when they die. I like getting flowers that are alive.” 

The room went quiet as everyone racked their brains trying to think of the possibilities. 

“Who would know these things about you? Even we didn’t know you liked flowers!” Hilary pointed the fact out, some of the team members nodded, she had a good point. 

“A lot of people know that I garden… But very few know that my mother really liked these flowers… She wrote about them a lot in her gardening books. To my knowledge, no one’s ever seen them but me, Grandpa, my dad, and maybe Hiro.” 

Ray stroked his chin deep in thought, “It could have been a friendly gift? Not romantic at all?” 

Tyson nodded, it could have been, but it felt- romantic. No one he knew would do something like this, it didn’t make sense. 

“I’ll put them outside, for now, maybe we will think about it later.” Tyson left the room to place them in his corner garden outside. 

The gravel crunched under his feet as he made his way to his small greenspace. He placed the planter with the rest of his stuff. He wondered who would have sent them, but he had no time to think; they had a party to attend at the BBA in less than two hours, and he still hadn’t even started to get ready. 

As expected, the dojo was now in chaos. Like most teenagers, they left everything to the last minute. None of them had experience with formal attire. 

“Does anyone here know how to tie a tie?!” Ray frantically displayed handfuls of ties. 

“I do!” Kenny grasped one of the ties and tried to tie it on himself, before transferring it over to Ray. 

Kenny was much too nervous to tie a proper knot, Ray found himself cringing as their time crunch got shorter and shorter. 

Max had locked himself in the bathroom, probably doing his hair. 

Hilary was god-knows-where, Tyson still wore regular clothes. 

“Where’s Kai? Isn’t he the formal clothes expert?” Tyson fiddled with dragoon while sitting cross-legged in the middle of the dojo. 

“That’s a good idea!” Kenny stopped trying to fiddle with Ray’s tie, “where is he?” 

“Wait, wasn’t he driving some of us?” Mr. D said another driver will come to pick us up…”

“No, I’m certain we're all going in a limo.” 

Tyson started to panic, stuck between trusting Kenny or Ray, now that was a difficult decision. 

Hilary bellowed as she slammed the door open to the dojo. “Tyson! WHY aren’t you changed yet?” 

“I!” 

He started a lame excuse but she raised her voice again, “stop fiddling with that hunk of metal and go upstairs and put on your clothes right now!” 

“Who died and made you boss of BBA formal parties?” 

“I’m literally the party planner.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Fine!” Tyson got up and dusted off his pants, “but I’m going to complain the whole time, and I’m taking a shower!” 

“You don’t have time for a shower!” she slapped a hand to her forehead in exasperation. 

“Too bad.” Tyson stuck his tongue out at her. 

Upstairs, he took his time getting into the shower, it was fine if they were late for the party anyway, they didn’t have to be there on time. 

He washed his body, got out, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and blow-dried it. He even put on some make-up so he could feel extra fancy. He tied his hair up, admiring himself in the mirror, he looked so grown up now. His hair was long, and he loved tying it up traditionally. He ran a hand through his blue hair. He winked at himself, knowing he looked hot. 

He opened the door with just a towel wrapped around his waist, he left clothes on his bed he was going to wear. Beside his clothes, sitting on his bed was his silver-haired best friend and rival, dressed in a well-fitted Italian cut suit. 

Kai looked him up and down, “you should have been ready by now.” 

Tyson’s cheeks blushed, “why are you alone in my room?” 

Kai patted the dress shirt he left on his bed, “apparently Tyson Granger can’t dress himself- is this what you picked out?” 

“Yeah? What’s wrong with it?” 

Kai grinned, “Are you sure?” 

Tyson made sure to show he was offended, “it’s the nicest thing I own…” 

“I figured you’d say that.” Kai rose from the bed towards a hook on the door. He reached for a black garment bag that wasn’t there before. 

Tyson wondered where it came from, and when- did Kai just bring it? For him?

He placed it on the bed, undoing the zipper on the fancy black bag, “change into this.” 

“If it doesn’t look hot- I’m boycotting you.” 

Kai chuckled, “how do you boycott a whole person?” 

“It better look good on me, or you’ll find out.” 

Kai stood still, Tyson mumbled, “can you- can you turn around so I can change?”

“Oh, right- Yeah.” 

Kai walked towards the window and directed his attention outside, trying to ignore the fact Tyson was a towel away from being completely naked behind him. 

He heard the rustling of clothes behind him, and Tyson’s voice, “is everyone ready downstairs?” 

“They’ve already left in the limo Tyson.” 

“Limo!? You mean I could be in a limo right now?!” 

“You weren’t ready in time, so now you have to go with me, you’re lucky I stayed behind.” 

“Not like you aren’t usually fashionably late Kai. You can turn around now.” 

Kai flung his body around, hopefully, he didn’t seem too eager to see Tyson in a suit. 

Tyson was awkwardly fiddling with his cuffs, he had no tie on, and his buttons weren’t done right. 

Kai sighed, “Here.” He grabbed one of Tyson’s arms and started to straighten his cuffs, “Can you do your tie?” 

Tyson felt his face flush in embarrassment. Kai fixing his clothes was, in his eyes, the opposite of manly. 

“I uh,” Tyson didn’t want to admit it, “don’t know how to do it.” He said in a hushed voice.

“What was that?” Kai finished with his other arm and moved on to his buttons. 

“I don’t know how to tie a tie okay!?” Tyson avoided eye contact. 

Tyson had realized catching Kai's smile was becoming more common. 

Kai gave him one of those grins now, “it’s okay, I’ll do it for you.” 

“Can you teach me? I want to do it myself…” 

“No time, I can show you later though.” Kai reached into the black bag and pulled out a dark blue tie, it was soft with elegant subtle swirls on it. 

Tyson’s eyes widened in awe, he had never seen anything so fancy, and he was expected to wear it?!

“Where did you get this suit from?” Tyson asked as Kai adjusted his collar on his shirt. 

“Mr. Dickenson asked me to get you some nice clothes. I picked it out, I thought it would look good on you.”

Tyson felt an electric shock as Kai reached around his neck placing the tie on either side of him. 

“It was expensive.” Kai’s eyes met his, Tyson tried to keep his mouth closed, “don’t get food on it.” Kai threatened him. 

“I won’t!” Tyson’s voice squeaked. 

Kai worked on the tie while biting the insides of his cheeks, he had to refrain from touching Tyson’s chest, he compromised by running his knuckle along his pec while pulling the tie tighter. 

The delicate touch was not missed by Tyson, who felt a burning sensation flow up his spine. 

“There.” Kai stepped away when he was done with the tie. 

Tyson turned to a full length mirror he had on another side of the room. His eyes glowed when he got a look at himself, “Woah! Kai!” 

He did a twirl for the mirror, “Kai you made a good choice, this does look good on me!” 

Kai placed a hand in his pocket, “I told you.” 

It suddenly occurred to Tyson, he had never been in Kai’s car. He knew it was nice, He knew it was a supercharged sports car, but that was about it. Kai was particular who he let look at it, and now, he was letting Tyson sit passenger. Tyson stared at the white car in awe, he didn’t know much about cars, but it was obvious it was a big deal. 

Kai opened the passenger door for him, “are you getting in or are you going to stand there all night?” 

Tyson shook his head, “y-yeah! What kind of car did you say this was again?” 

“I don’t think you’ve ever asked, it’s an Aston Martin Superleggera.” 

“Sounds fancy,” Tyson remarked while climbing into it.

Kai leaned towards him before closing the door, “it is- put on your seatbelt.” 

The first thing Tyson noticed, Kai didn’t drive like someone in their late teens, he drove like an old man.

“For someone who’s incredibly late- you sure aren’t going anywhere fast.” 

Kai had one hand on the steering wheel, “you want me to go faster?” he blinked in surprise.

“Well, you have a turbo-charged sports car.” Tyson grinned, “send it.” 

“I didn’t know you were into fast cars?” Kai remarked. 

“Hell yeah, I am.” 

“Hold on.” 

Luckily there weren’t many cars on this road. 

Was it illegal? Don’t tell anyone.

Did Tyson realize that Kai shared the same adrenaline habits he did? Absolutely. 

They drove fast, Kai made turns expertly, Tyson laughed and cheered. 

Slowing down his pace, Tyson could feel his heart racing, “that was awesome.” 

Kai gifted him another one of his rare smiles, the kind that was becoming more frequent. 

The party venue felt a little monotone, maybe it was in comparison to the adrenaline rush they just had. 

“Holy!?- Tyson?” Max rushed over to him with a glass of juice in his hand, “there’s no way that’s you in that suit?” 

“Sure is,” Tyson’s face screamed happiness. 

Walking into the main hall, Tyson recognized everyone from his past tournaments, his old rivals, friends, everyone was excited to see him. 

Tyson became swarmed with people greeting him, Kai excused himself, to hide away in the corner. 

“What’s going on?” to his right side, Ray. 

“Not much, you?” 

Ray handed him a glass, probably juice, he took it. 

“Just finished saying hi to everyone, are you going to make the rounds?” Ray knew it was a  stupid question. 

“I’ll talk to whoever talks to me first.” Kai took a small sip of the glass. 

“Are you dancing tonight?” another stupid question from Ray.

Kai gave him an obvious expression, “you think I would?” 

He didn’t say no; Ray took the opportunity to squeeze humanity out of Kai, “out of everyone here, who would you dance with?” 

Kai surveyed the room, it caught Ray by surprise, he was actually thinking about it. 

“Probably Tyson-” Kai needed to think of a good excuse fast- “because I’m more familiar with him than anyone else.” He took a sip of his juice. 

“So then dance with him? You know everyone probably will by the end of the night.” 

Kai chuckled with his mouth in his glass, it fogged up slightly, “no, that would be weird.” 

 “I’ll ask him first if that makes you more comfortable.”

Kai shrugged in response. Ray patted his shoulder, placing down his empty glass on a nearby table, and he made his way towards Tyson who was already dancing in the middle of the room. 

Towards the other side of the room, Kai saw Mr. Dickenson in the corner of his eye, waving for him to come over to the group he was with. Kai rolled his eyes, he saw Hiro over there too. 

Reluctantly, he made his way over, he wasn't going to ignore Mr. Dickenson. 

The group had formed a circle, Miriah was there, Emily, Judy, and Michael. 

Kai gave everyone a friendly greeting, then they started making casual conversation, then it got down to business. Kai waved his hand in the air, “I’m not here to talk about the Hiwatari company tonight.” 

Hiro gave him an angry expression, but Mr. Dickeson understood, and so did Judy, they all kept making casual conversation. 

“Hey, weird question guys.” Miriah held up a pink phone with a picture on it.

Emily pointed to the screen, “Do you guys know what kind of flowers these are?” 

They piled around it, Max showed up behind them to check out the picture as well. Kai and Hiro saw the screen simultaneously, in unison they responded: 

“Himalayan blue poppies.” 

Hiro and Kai locked eyes immediately. Instantly ready to square up. 

“How do you know that?” Hiro’s voice had a hint of anger. 

“I’m not allowed to know a type of flower?” Kai spat back. 

Miriah squeezed herself in between them, “Calm down! Tyson got sent some- we don’t know who sent them.” 

“They’re my mom's favourite flower.” 

Max watched the situation, he stared at Kai, “no way…” he said under his breath.

The blond-haired boy grasped Kai’s arm, pulling him out of the group, far away from the angry brother. 

“Thanks, Max.” Kai was glad he managed to sneak him away without anyone noticing. 

“No problem dude.” Max smiled. 

Ray appeared beside them, with a worn-out Tyson by his side. 

“Kai, your turn!” He shoved Tyson into Kai. 

Tyson wasn’t expecting it, stabilizing himself by holding on to Kai’s shoulders, “Ray!” 

“Sorry!” 

Kai unconsciously helped Tyson keep his balance… by holding him by his waist. 

Tyson pulled himself away, Kai’s hands glided along his waist. 

“Apparently… You wanted to dance with me?” Tyson gave Kai an expression he couldn’t read. 

“I didn’t want to- I mean- if you want to?” Kai’s face turned a shade pinker. 

“Sure- I mean, if you want to?” Tyson swallowed, but his throat stayed dry. 

“Just go!” Ray pushed them towards the dance floor. 

Max yelled to Ray, “Ray! I have to tell you something…” 

In the middle of the dance floor, the duo had no idea what to do. 

“Um-” Tyson awkwardly placed his arms around Kai’s neck. 

“Isn’t that the female way..” Kai remarked

“Shut up!” Tyson felt awkward for some reason, even though before this, he danced with a dozen boys- and girls. 

Kai placed his hands on his hips, wondering how he ever ended up here. 

“Here…” Kai grasped one of his hands, keeping one hand on his waist. 

Tyson’s hand that wasn’t wrapped in Kais, was placed on his shoulder, he slowly let it slide towards his neck, playing with the loose strands of hair, focused on the way it shimmered in the lights. 

“How do you know how to dance?” 

“Rich boy.” 

“Really?” Tyson laughed, imagining a young Kai learning ballroom dance. 

“I can also play some piano.” 

“Wow, what else can you do rich boy?” Tyson titled his head, unconsciously teasing him. 

“Some violin, calligraphy in English, Ballroom dance, paperwork…” 

“I’m surprised you’re telling me this.” Tyson admired his face up close, when did he get such a cute face? 

Kai held Tyson closer, his face centimeters away from his, “if you tell, no one will believe you.” 

Tyson let out a hard laugh. People in the room began to stare, but they didn’t notice, they were lost in their own little world. 

Kai felt sweat form in between Tyson’s palm and his, but he didn’t care. He watched his blue hair sway, and his lips curve into smiles, he blinked suddenly, becoming aware of the way he was looking at him. 

Kai let go of Tyson, taking a step away from him, “sorry- I’m going to get some air.” 

Kai disappeared into another room, leaving Tyson flustered on the dance floor. 

Outside Kai closed the metal door behind him, he held the railing of the balcony. “What am I doing?” he whispered to nobody. 

“Sending him flowers, driving him around, dancing with him- Why can’t I just-” 

He heard the door open and close behind him, “Are you alright Kai? You left so fast…” 

Hearing Tyson’s voice was liquid ecstasy. He closed his eyes, absorbing it, before finding the courage to turn around. 

“I’m fine.” He gave Tyson a grin, but Tyson saw through it. 

“You’re all in your head,” Tyson remarked and stepped closer to him. 

Kai had his back to the railing, he couldn’t run away anymore.

Tyson was too close, he looked in Kai’s eyes, deep into his mind, looking for any sign that something was off. 

Tyson lifted his hand, and rested it on his cheek, “what’s going on with you?” 

Kai felt his whole body melt, pure happiness, absolute comfort. At the next words, he felt like he could float away-

“You know you can tell me anything right?” 

Kai felt his lungs stop working, no air, his brain fired electrical impulses at lightning speed but no thoughts were being created.

“Did you send the flowers?” Tyson kept his hand on Kai’s cheek. 

“Y- yeah,” Kai admitted, still not breathing. 

“How did you know about them?” 

“You leave your mothers journals everywhere-” 

“And you read them?!” 

“No- Well, yes. But I wasn’t reading her writing, I was reading your notes on the sides.” 

Tyson remembered a sticky note he put on a page, mentioning where he could get seeds for his mother's favourite flowers, that he so desperately wanted. 

 “Why?” Tyson’s voice was serious but so calming. 

Kai closed his eyes momentarily, then opened them.

“I think I like you.” 

Neither one of them dared to move. 

Silence, for minutes, as Tyson’s hand stayed on Kai’s face, growing colder by the minute. 

“I’m sorry- it was weird, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Kai tried to turn his face away from him, trying to brush off the encounter. 

“No!” Tyson used his hand to push Kai back to his original position. 

Kai’s face grew red, Tyson’s did too.

“I! I think that-” Tyson blubbered trying to find the right words, Kai gripped the railing behind him. 

“Ah- screw it-” Tyson’s eyes were damp, he stared at the sky before taking a deep breath.

“Ty!-” 

Tyson’s lips were pressed against his. He didn’t know what to do- he had wished for it for so long- and now, all of the sudden? 

“Mm!” Tyson made some noise as he kept doing it, messy, but fun. 

Kai used his hands to run through Tyson’s hair from the back of his neck, grabbing the back of his head and a handful of hair, pulling him closer.

Their bodies were against each other, they could feel each other’s hearts trying to leap out of their chests. 

Kai tried to pull away, to get some air- Tyson grabbed his tie and pulled him back into him, making out with him more. 

Finally, Tyson let Kai go, he was still chocolate he was told not to have, and he wanted more.

“What- I, Tyson?” Kai stumbled over his words. 

 “It’s alright Kai.” Tyson gave him a quick kiss on his soft lips, “it’s okay.”

[datawyrms]

That’s Robophobic!

Is K1-B0 really too sensitive about being a robot, a far too long rambling thing digging through every bit of dialogue he has.

short answer: no. long answer: HOLD ON FOLKS I’N SERIOUS ABOUT EVERY BIT OF TEXT as i’m bored and i’m going to spit ideas about my Favourite good robot at you all day. It’s entire prologue and first chapter I am serious this thing is huge and way too many words.  Also spoilers everywhere so uh. Don’t...look at this if you haven’t finished V3ok.

Prologue 

Keebo doesn’t talk or do anything in this bit! He’s just there. Up front for the splash and then hiding in the back afterwards. Officially according to the art book he is in fact a robot at this point in time as well. He’s just covered up and apparently doesn’t have to have those lines on his face or the ear-analogues he’s got most of the game. The More You Know. (not that this should stop anyone from havin fun in fan work. do what makes you happy!) I mostly point it out as Being A Robot is a massive part of Keebo’s character, so the fact he’s always one isn’t really that surprising. We’ll get into that more when he actually...has lines... oh and the mild theory of Monodam basically being Keebo’s Bear Equivalent, they have similar plot beats/character progression though the Monokubs are shaky in general so :v MOVING ON

Ultimate Revival

aka we meet Keebo and Kokichi ‘properly’ for the first time. The pair should generally be the 6/7th students protag bumps into. (me replaying and going ‘lol Tsumugi makes herself the first not Shuichi person Kaede should canonically meet by the placements’) Get used to Kokichi, a massive amount of Keebo’s dialogue is with, in response of, or directed at him, and this introduction is a testament to that. You meet them mid interaction!

Kokichi- Heeey! Wait for meee!

That boy in white is chasing that other boy in the funny clothes... What's happening here?   

Great opening robot. You spend most of the time lonely but the first we see of you is running away from someone. (It’s an interesting difference to how he reacts to Kaede/Shuichi in their first FTEs.) That, and apparently Kaede doesn’t peg Keebo as a robot here. Shuichi says he’s ‘chasing somebody’, so he might have noticed.

Kokichi: C’mooon! Wait up! Lemme touch your body a little! I've always wanted to be friends with a robot! Kaede: What? A robot!? K1-B0: ...What is it? Are you another robophobe?  I have a recording function. If you make any robophobic remarks, I will see you in court. 

keebs you don’t have the money to take anything to court but we’ll let you keep that delusion ok. and you’re probably legally counted as property In fairness, the robot lad is not making the best first impression! Kokichi is kinda childish by just assuming he should get to touch the robot, but he is genuinely interested at this point. It’s easy to read this as Keebo being too touchy. He’s sensitive about that being a robot is the ONLY thing you care about. So Kokichi wanting to be friends with a robot and being grabby...well there he goes getting defensive. (and it turns out he probably has reasons to not like grabby hands. kaede)

Kaede:  Wait...you're a robot!? Are you, for reals, a robot!?  Shuichi:  A-Are you...one of the Monokubs—   K1-B0:  Do not compare me to those toys! I am not just any old robot! 

Keebo is completely justified here, visually he isn’t even close to a Monokub or an Exisal, and lacks a split two tone theme. Would you want to be compared to a Monokub? No. No you would not. He’s also showing at bit of that pride here, calling them ‘toys’, though they do seem as capable as thinking as he is. (keebo is also a robophobe oh no.)

Oh look it’s the reason you have SO MANY NAMES. Some people prefer the ‘Kiibo’ shortening, but all the screenshots are going to say Keebo so we’re gonna be consistent. We are never going to see another character refer to him as K1-B0, but everything interface wise will call him this. We might not think you’re a person, but we’ll use your preferred name no problem. probably because k1-b0 is a mouthful

Kaede:  A robot and...supreme leader? Neither of them make any sense. Kokichi: By the way, I learned the hard way that a robot's breath smells like gasoline. K1-B0: My breath does not smell like gasoline! I am powered by electricity! Kokichi: Nee—heehee...I'm just kidding. K1-B0: ...You're not funny. Kokichi:   Of course you don't think I'm funny. Robots can't understand human humor to begin with! K1-B0:  D-Don't mock me! I have studied the complete history of stand-up comedy! 

Things we learn: These two are weird. That, and Keebo is kind of terrible at interacting with people. He takes the lie/joke at face value, hesitates when corrected that it is a joke (But doesn’t go saying ROBOPHOBIA this time). and each time he’s responding he’s trying to prove something. The little stammer seems like Keebo knows he’s bad at it but darn it he’s going to tell you about the things he can do. Like study stand-up comedy. (Poorly)

Kaede: I think you should've just watched stand-up comedy instead of studying it...   K1-B0: Plus, I may have the appearance of a robot, but I am a high school student just like you Shuichi: You're a high school student? K1-B0: I was created by Professor Idabashi, the leading authority in the field of robotics...  He installed in me a "strong AI," capable of learning and maturing like a human brain. That's why, at the time of my creation, I didn't know anything. I was like a baby...  But the professor raised me like I was his own child. He taught me so many things... Until finally, he enrolled me in high school. And now I stand here before you all! See? I’m just like everyone else! Kokichi: Hey, do robots have dicks? K1-B0: Please do not ask ridiculous questions! Kokichi: Nee-heehee... I only asked because your backstory is pretty flaccid for a robot. Kaede: Well, I can see how being a robot might be enough to be called the Ultimate Robot...

Keebs loves talking about himself, this like the longest intro block of text. Then the justification to why Keebo is Pretty Garbage at fitting in! He speaks rather formally and uses contractions less often than he could and spends a lot of time clarifying things you could probably assume. His entire life up to this point he’s basically been home schooled by a leading robotics expert from scratch, and we don’t even know for how long. He doesn’t mention any other people, and even via FTEs and Salmon mode he never refers to having any other close relations or friends. (This isn’t uncommon for most of the cast there isn’t a ton of FTE time to bring up things that don’t matter, but they’ll usually MENTION other people/activities that you could reasonably assume would involve others.)  He says he was raised ‘like his own child’ but Keebo might have zero actual context to what a family relationship looks like! Kaede’s mental crack nudges at this, maybe our robot friend ‘knows’ what something is, but has he actually experienced it? Is he just assuming his experience is ‘close enough’ to whatever he was taught? We don’t know! For all we know Keebo has only been operational for like three years. He’s incredibly aware he’s a robot, he doesn’t use words like born and always clarifies he was like a baby or a child, but not literally so. So constantly being reminded like he doesn’t already know that might be annoying for him. Really he’s asking for respect and to be treated like an equal...but he’s expressing it by saying he’s the same as everyone.  Also: We’re just meeting him and we’ve already got two people going ‘this is a disappointing robot’. Kaede doesn’t even think he’s much of an Ultimate right now, and we all know Kokichi’s thoughts :v This trend will continue.

Kaede: Hey... Everything he's said so far has sounded like a lie, so that's gotta be a lie too, right? K1-B0: Just leave him alone. Everything he has been saying has been a lie. ...He's a far more suspicious person than I am, that's for sure. Kokichi: Well, of course you're not a suspicious person, because robots aren't people, silly. K1-B0: Grgh...! Kokichi: Oh, you mad? Are you gonna hit me with a rocket punch? K1-B0: I don't have that function! Kokichi: Aw maaan, you’re boring.

Keebo will use ‘person’ to describe himself! Never human. It’s likely the main conflict he’s having is having a different definition for ‘personhood’ than most of his fellow classmates. If you’re into marine life, you might know about how dolphins and whales seem intelligent enough that considering them ‘non human persons’ was/is bandied about sometimes, and the whole issue with that is well, we’re humans. Everything we judge is going to related to the human experience. (National Geographic had a neat article on the topic in 2015 I think?) Keebo is not coming from that experience. He knows he can think and feel like all the others, so of course if he needs a word, it’s ‘person’. Note how he doesn’t actually argue back when Kokichi says he isn’t one. They’re both ‘right’ in a sense, even if Keebo clearly doesn’t like it.

K1-B0:  I may have the appearance of a robot, but I am a high school student just like you. From one high school student to another, I hope we can all get along! Kokichi: Who creates a robot without a rocket punch? Why do you even exist?

Yes, even in post conversation dialogue Kokichi comes along for the ride. Here Keebo goes trying to use ‘high school student’ as a describer instead of person since he is undeniably a student. The fact he flips from being proud of what he is to downplaying the fact he’s a robot is pretty interesting and the first look at the difficulty he’s going to be having. Fitting in=Respect.  While Kokichi is digging for more info, but Keebo doesn’t elaborate or react to the repeated rocket punch reference :v Shuichi and Kaede only comment on Kokichi in the post dialogue, so nothing to add from them.

Then we get to the gym. Kaede chastises Himiko for being lazy and then Keebo decides to add his thoughts. With an apology. This boy can’t decide if he has all the confidence or none of it.

K1-B0: Pardon me, but...we need to be on our guard. We do not know if and when danger will strike. Kokichi: D-don’t say that... I’m so scared... I don’t know what to do... Angie: There is no need to worry. Atua will protect us. Kokichi: Phew! That’s a relief!

oh look a Keebo line immediately followed by a Kokichi one i wonder if this will be a trend. Kokichi points out that Keebo phrased ‘uh we might be in danger’ rather poorly with his little emotion flip flop. We know that Keebo means it in the best way possible, he wants the best for everyone, but it’s unnecessary. Yes, nothing has happened, but they all know they’ve been kidnapped by weird colourful bears. Are you restating for the audience at home Keebs? (...he could be. Inner voice is a fun can of worms. we’ll get to that.) He doesn’t speak again until the killing game is announced.

Tenko: W—Wait a second. What did you say? K1-B0: I-If I heard him correctly— Monodam: KILLING-GAME

There he goes taking someone completely literally. Then not even getting to finish his sentence because Monodam cuts him off. The Monokubs do their jabroni throwdown thing annnnd Tsumugi: In a situation like this, is he just going to watch!? K1-B0: Either way, it's too dangerous! We need to get out of here or else—  Monokuma: Now, now, now... Kaede: What? Monokuma: My cute little cubs... You gotta knock off this awful fighting...

Cutting off other robots is apparently a family trait, because Monokuma does it here too! The fact Keebo is instantly suggesting running also shows he’s not really the aggressive sort. When you see his profile image in the Monopad you might think he’d be a scary sort of fighter bot. Buuuutnope. The Monobear gang do their chattering/properly introduce Monokuma

Maki: Headmaster? K1-B0: It appears to be some sort of autonomous robot with a built-in A.l., like me... Monotaro: Dong dong dong! The Exisals are different, though! They're brainless buckets of bolts!

He does recognize Monokuma/kubs as similar to himself here instead of continuing on with the current question of ‘how is this thing a headmaster of anything’. Keebo would probably be the expert on this, but no one asked. Time and place for information is also something Keebo is terrible at :v Monokuma: It's just...when I said it before, I kinda just phoned it in and now I feel awkward... I want you students with your Ultimate-level talents to participate in a killing game. Kaede: K-Killing game? Us? K1-B0: Please stop joking! Why would we agree to participate in a killing game!? Monokuma: Huh? You guys don't wanna do it?  

‘Maybe he’s joking like Kokichi was earlier!’ Sorry robot friend, Monokuma is not joking. Keebs cares about death, even if reasonably he could be as ‘replaceable’ as Monokuma (Though we sort of know he isn’t based on Tsumugi’s mentioning that she’s glad he ‘made it to the end’.)  Keebo doesn’t comment again after this

He is the second to show up after Kaede in the into though! Considering he is a ‘protagonist’ (for the ‘real world’) that’s not too surprising, while Shuichi is hiding in the 5th spot, after Rantaro.

Chapter 1

ohboy here we go. With the entire cast alive, Keebs is very much a background character. What’s his first line as everyone is learning the rules of the killing game?

Tsumugi: But...we looked all over that wall and there wasn't a single hole. K1-B0:  Now wait just a second. If there's no opening in the wall... Then how did we get inside these walls in the first place? Tsumugi:  ...Oh, good point.

Correcting Tsumugi. No horrified reactions or anything, but oh That Isn’t Logical I Will Correct You. Especially in group settings, Keebo generally sticks to factual statements, unless he’s being goaded. Once again, he has nothing else to say after this! But before you have Gonta open the manhole cover, Keebo shows up in Kokichi’s dialogue if you talk to him.  aka this is optional content.

Kokichi: Whoa, look at all these weeds. This place could definitely use a groundskeeper. Right, Kee—boy!? K1-B0: Why are you telling me that? Furthermore... I would prefer you address me as "Keebo." Kokichi: But you can pull weeds. Right, Kee-boy? K1-B0:  I can do all sorts of things just as well as any person! Kokichi: As well as any person...? But...you're not a person. K1-B0: Th-That's discrimination... Robophobic discrimination...

I don’t have anything to say, time to hassle the robot is a pretty common tactic for Kokichi. He’s also the only one to nickname Keebo a second time. No one else will be calling him Keeboy. It’s curious how he pulls Keebo into this conversation, and how Keebo doesn’t really seem to know how to react to it and just tries to correct Kokichi about his name. We can add our second example of him actually going ‘robophobia’ to the list though :v He seems a bit offended that he’s being underestimated/having the suggestion floated that he can only pull weeds and basically does a low key brag about his abilities ‘all sorts of things’. In fairness, ‘as well as any person’ isn’t exactly a useful metric for ability. People vary a lot! Again he doesn’t deny that he ‘isn’t a person’, by going ‘robophobia’ he’s practically agreeing. If you talk to Keebo directly...

K1-B0: ...There is a monitor here, too. That aside, this is a rather remote location to install a communication device... K1-B0: ...lt's a pointless expenditure, wouldn't you agree?

He’s making observations about the area alone and trying to be useful by posing a question. That, and getting someone to agree with you is a decent tactic to becoming more friendly, and it’s a pretty easy thing to agree with... He’s not actually being useful, since we have no reason to care why Monokuma would make pointless expenditures, but he’s trying. This is also the most dialogue any single person has (Kurumi gets close, but only has one textbox to Keebo’s two.) Time to lift a manhole cover aaaannnnd

Angie: Awwww, this manhole cover looks heavy. Can we even lift it? K1-B0:  I can try. Keebo placed his hands on the manhole cover, and with all his strength he—Grgh...! Grrrrrrrrrrrrgh...! How embarrassing. It won't even budge. Angie:  Huhhh? A robot's not even strong enough to move it? K1-B0: Oh, don't worry. My physical strength is approximate to that of a strong senior citizen. Miu: Th-That's fuckin' pathetic! K1-B0: Th-The professor did not want a repeat of the tragedy that occurred during trial production. Tsumugi: Umm... Now I'm just plain curious about what happened during that trial...

Yes, the first time Miu ever interacts with Keebo, she calls him pathetic. :v His want to help overroad the common sense that he probably wouldn’t be able to lift it at all. It is also possible Kokichi’s comments made him want ho show he can do things. Even though he literally can’t do this. Tsumugi was very much me at this moment, going ‘wait explain that please’ but no one else really cares so he won’t be clarifying. The fact he just goes there was a tragedy in trial production and no one bats an eye is low key hilarious to me. He’s just so matter of fact about it. Gonta then makes the cover look like a paper plate.

Kokichi: But Gonta is sooo much more reliable than some bean—counting robot. K1-B0:  Are you...talking about me? Because I can count many things, not just beans.

His objection is that he can count lots of stuff. Not that he’s a bean-counting robot, or less useful than Gonta. Keebo is adorable, okay. Keebo doesn’t speak again after this, meaning we’re back in optional dialogue time! This is right outside the death road of despair.

Miu: You're too weak, Keebo! Lemme remodel you and I'll make you the strongest robot ever! First, I'll soup up your crotch plate by installin' a nice, thick one, just how I like it! Hah-hahaha!

Miu is Miu. Keebo doesn’t respond to this! It is fun to see Miu’s already excited that there’s a robot around that isn’t evil to tinker with, but we don’t know how he feels about it for the moment. Her lab isn’t even open yet and she STILL is talking about remodling new robot pal :v (and yes i am putting down dialogue that relates to Keebo even if he doesn’t react/isn’t present for it. Knowing what the other characters think of him is important too.)

K1-B0: ...It's quite dusty in here. Prolonged exposure to this polluted air may be detrimental to one's health. Angie: Whaaat? Polluted air bothers you? But you don't even breathe air, right? K1-B0: W—Well, that is... While it's true that I do not breathe, I also do not like polluted air any more than you do. Kokichi: I see, you have a function for sensing poisonous gases! Well then, lead the way! K1-B0: N—No! I don't have that function! Do I look like a canary to you? Kokichi: Whaaat, you don't? Then you're even more useless than a canary! K1-B0: Grgh...

oh did you think he’d have a conversation without Kokichi. WRONG. Poor Keebo is already a bit flustered by being called out as different again when he was mostly just making an observation like he did upstairs. The whole not breathing thing is a pretty big difference and he’s instantly going I STILL DON’T LIKE IT, even though originally he might have just meant everyone’s health in general. Being able to sense poison gasses would probably be a helpful skill, and it’s a reasonable deduction...buuuut since he doesn’t have that it just gets to be an easy jab at him instead. The fact Keebo instantly goes for the canary comparison when as a robot he could be reasonably expected to not die because of the gasses is a bit odd, but sets him up wonderfully for a roast :v Keebo is one of the few that gets to ‘...’ at the death road failure, but doesn’t comment again until everyone is rallying themselves for another shot.

Tenko: My body is ready! You can tell by how outta control my pit sweat is! Kaede: E—Everyone! K1-B0: Isn’t it premature to say what we’ll do after we escape? Assumptions are all but useless. Kokichi: Geez, you're clueless... Why am I not surprised that a robot can't read the air? K1-B0: Robots can read the air! Thanks to innovations in pollutant-detecting technology, I— Kaito: Anyway, it doesn’t matter if Monokuma says it’s impossible! We’ll show him what we can do!

Kaito has joined the ‘people who cut off Keebo mid sentence’ club. Keebo is TERRIBLE at interacting. The question is probably genuine, logically they’re thinking too far ahead but like he’s told...now is not the time to be throwing reality in people’s faces Keebs. Or for desperately trying to prove yourself as able to read the air by completely misunderstanding what Kokichi is saying. he’s such a little disaster. i adore this silly robot. Once Kokichi calls Kaede out for ‘torturing’ everyone, K1-B0: Given the circumstance...the most logical course of action would be to give up...

No mentions of how he’s feeling. Just logic and trying to relate it to facts. I assume he expects feelings to be ignored so he sticks to facts for that reason...but that’s just my reading. He does it again when Rantaro speaks up.

Rantaro: Hey, guys? Just...as a warning...We shouldn’t let our guards down. We’ll be easy targets at night. Gonta: C-Cuz of killing game, you mean? K1-B0: I see no need to worry about something as illogical as murder taking place here. Rantaro: I know, I know. Just a warning.

Even though he says there’s no need to worry, he’s absolutely sporting a worried sprite. Yet he goes for saying it’s illogical for murder to be taking place. He can’t see any way doing such a thing would be justified at the moment, and you can see Keebo is a bit of a stickler for things ‘making logical sense’. When he’s not just taking the advice of a voice in his head anyway. We don’t hear from him again until the next morning in the dining hall.

Korekiyo: Now...all of us have arrived.  Kehehe...I'm glad. It looks as though there were no victims. K1-B0: But of course! Kokichi: By the way...are you okay, Kaede? Kaede: Huh? What do you mean? Kokichi: Well...you looked pretty bummed out after everyone started blaming you yesterday. Tsumugi: H-Hey... What are you doing all of— Kokichi: Seriously, you guys are so mean. Poor girl... She tried her best to encourage everyone, and you sore losers got mad at her anyway. K1-B0: What's the point of bringing that up again? Tenko: Actually...didn’t *you* blame Kaede first?

Oh look, Keebo’s being positive. Since everyone lived and he can confidently say that now. He’s also showing that Understanding Kokichi For Dummies was not in his hard drive, but he is trying to figure him out a little. Why did you bring it up? They don’t know, because Tenko gives him an easy out here. Not that he was likely going to answer anyway, but hey! A direct question! Which he follows up on after the rest of the class squabbles about it here..

Kokichi: Phew, cool beans! Now everything’s settled! K1-B0: ...But you did blame her first, didn't you? Kokichi: Well, that was a lie. Y'know, one of those lies to make us more united or whatever. Did you know half my lies are actually told with good intentions? Himiko: Now *that* sounds like a lie.

Kokichi actually answers! Genuinely, no less, even though he’s already got his lying reputation by this point. Kokichi is surprisingly up front with Keebo a decent chunk of the time, even if most of the time it’s just His Opinion On The Robot. Maybe he knows no one’s gonna take anything he says to Keebo very seriously now that he’s laid out the constant mockery groundwork. and then monokuma shows up

Maki: ...Motivation to kill? Monokuma: In short, a motive! That oughta add some mystery to the proceedings! Even if a killer is exposed, they could whip up a sob story to deceive everyone! K1-B0: Wh-What are you saying? Your logic is impossible to understand...! Monokuma: I will now announce the first motive! Make sure  you record this moment for prosperity! Now then, the special motive I’ve prepared is called the First Blood Perk!  Wow! For the first murder that occurs, no class trial will be held! Can you believe it? That means the first one to kill someone will get to graduate, no strings attached! Maki: No class trial will be held? Monokuma: I'm sorry that I made the class trial seem more important than it really is... So for the first murder, I've decided not to hold a class trial at all. Please just relax, calm down and kill! After all, the first one’s free! Miu: Huh? That's all!? We just gotta kill someone to get outta here!? K1-B0: "That's all"!? What's that supposed to mean!? Please just calm down! Tenko: First Blood Perk!? Don't make it sound like some kind of game show bonus!

Keebo is super anti-murder, though it’s sort of funny how his plea to Miu is very close to Monkuma’s own wording to ‘just calm down’. He doesn’t understand why you’d want to kill someone or make someone kill another, and seems genuinely surprised someone would do it based on how he reacts to Miu here. Leaving is not a justifiable reason to murder for Keebo, and we get that fact pretty fast. Then he just watches until Kaito gets himself in trouble by threatening Monokuma.

Monosuke: Youse bastards better pay attention! This is what happens when you mess with us! Kaito: Wh...what? What are you guys planning to do? K1-B0: P-Please, don't! Kaede: Run, Kaito!

More pleading to reconsider, because watching people die is Not Fun. Asking the Monokubs to not do something over encouraging Kaito is a bit notable though, no one really tries to reason with them. Keebo might not like them, or like being compared to them, but still seems to think they might be able to be reasoned with. They are AIs like him after all...and he doesn’t remark on anything after Monotaro messes up and crushes Monokuma either. I wonder if watching Monokuma die bothered him at all. (I think it might have, on the walk to the library Shuichi takes Kaede on, Keebo is one of the few characters that isn’t around to talk to.) You don’t see him again until the next morning where he’s hanging out near the main entrance.

K1-B0: Good morning, Kaede. Kaede: Morning, Keebo. K1-B0: Everyone appears to have gathered at the dining hall again. Kaede: Yup, looks like it. K1-B0: I'm thinking about heading over there as well, but... ... Kaede: But? K1-B0: Oh, nothing. I was just wondering...when someone is going to come rescue us. It's been almost a full day since Monokuma was dispatched, but our situation hasn't changed. I'm just speculating, but what if... ...only Monokuma knew about this place? What if this location is not on any map? What if...no one is coming to rescue us? Kaede: Huh? K1-B0: Maybe...we'll just be forgotten, and no one will ever find us again... Kaede: D-Don’t say that! Besides, we should be trying to escape, not waiting for someone to rescue us! K1-B0: Y-Yes...I apologize. I was overthinking things. It would be impossible to discreetly construct a facility such as this in the first place. Plus, if the professor knew I was missing, he would not rest until he found me. With his technology, he would rescue us! No matter where on earth this place is! Kaede: Yeah... K1-B0: On the other hand...it *has* only been one day. As much as we'd love to go home right now, we must wait in a calm, dignified manner! (you need to talk to him a second time to get this line)   

This poor boy has thought himself into a tizzy and is looking to Kaede for some of that positive thinking that he’s not super great at. He goes from ‘good morning’ to ‘oh it’s nothing but I’m worried we’ll never be found :v’ in two seconds flat. Keebo DOESN’T SLEEP. He’s probably been overthinking all night! He has no trouble finding reasons to not worry once Kaede shakes him out of it, and once again shows us he thinks a great deal about the professor who made him. Look at him going all ‘we must wait calmly’ like it wasn’t just him having a miniature breakdown there. Keebs is fond of ‘we’. Not a shock, since Fitting In and being part of the group is kinda big deal for him. At breakfast he’s taken the whole ‘don’t worry’ thing to heart.

Gonta: But...when someone coming to get us? K1-B0: Whoever does...I assume they will come today. There's no need to worry. Rantaro: ...

he’s probably a bit over positive in thinking they’ll be rescued in a single day after Monokuma’s demise though. Logically they’re going to be saved, therefore it should be quick. Keebo kinda runs down bad logic paths like this to extremes instead of staying a middle ground. there’s levels between we’re all gonna be stuck forever and rescue today keebo.

Monokuma: After dying in a tragic car accident, I've been reborn as a Yo-Kai! Call me Jibakuma, kuma! K1-B0: Jibakuma...? Monokuma: From now on, I'm the headmaster of the Ultimate Academy, kuma! You might feel uncomfortable at first, but eventually you'll get used to it. 

Keebo’s the only one to even sort of play along. Considering he has everyone call him something other that his name, I can see him continuing to use ‘Jibakuma’ if Monokuma had kept up the bit for more than ten seconds :v audience stand in keebs always on standby if a bit is falling flat for the other participants. Next motive gets given, Kubs do their shitk with the one of a kind thing and Kaede: Of course! We never left! K1-B0: Why are you doing this!? How much suffering do you want to put us through!? Monokuma: I see... Well, if you're suffering, you all better hurry up and start the killing game. Puhuhu... then you can say bye-bye to the suffering.

monokuma is directly answering the audience at this point I swear. Keebs does do a decent amount of the ‘obvious protag questions’...it is kinda his job. It’s interesting in hindsight. Bears leave, panic happens.

Kaito: W-We can’t panic about something like this. I’ll...do something about it. K1-B0: ...Did you have a course of action in mind? Kaito: I'm...gonna start thinking of one right now!

Kaito is so salty about Keebo pointing out he has no actual plan that he doesn’t invite him to the ‘fight Monokuma’ meeting on the final day. (or doesn’t trust a robot/think he’d help after the manhole debacle.) Keebs, once again bringing down the mood with reality/ genuine questions he doesn’t think through very well. (And honestly Kaito’s whole believing in people thing is inherently illogical, so they don’t really see eye to eye...) They then discuss fighting back.

Ryoma: You're going to go against those machines barehanded? Isn't that too reckless? Tenko: B-But...we have to do it! If we don't, we'll die! K1-B0: Wait! We still have plenty of time to calculate all possible options— Korekiyo: We’ve no time to be indecisive. We are being urged to make a decision... To die fighting... Or die from the time limit.

That’s four members of the cut Keebo off club. :v Keebo might react in the moment, but when it comes to making a plan? Yeah he’d rather take the time to think over everything, but apparently that’s not an option here so he gets trampled over.

Kaede: Miu! You better not do anything shady, okay!? K1-B0: There is no need to worry, is there? No one is going to...kill anyone, right? Himiko: If someone is going to kill, they should just go for the robot. K1-B0: That's even worse!

It really isn’t Keebo’s day. Korekiyo goes right into talking about ‘why does everyone think killing is wrong’ here, no one goes ‘hey maybe don’t threaten the robot’. Poor guy hesitates to even say kill and then gets told he should die first and no one stands up for him. being keebo is suffering. People start leaving and Rantaro starts being Mysterious

Kaede: Ultimate Hunt? What is that...? I've never heard of it. K1-B0: What about it?  Rantaro: ...Nothing, forget it.

Curious robot is curious. That and is doing the whole protag thing again by following on weird unanswered questions, not that it goes anywhere this time. When you talk to him after Rantaro leaves, he’s still thinking about it.

K1-B0: That Ultimate Hunt Rantaro mentioned...what do you suppose it is? ...Any theories, Kaede? Kaede: I don't know... It's the first time I've heard of it... K1-B0: It sounds so...violent. It sounds like it involves us somehow...No, disregard that. Nobody has any clue what it could mean, so it is illogical to continue thinking about it. Our more pressing concern...is the current predicament we find ourselves in. Kaede: Yeah, you're right... K1-B0: We have until nighttime, two days from now... What should we do until then? (once again you need to talk to him a second time for this line.)

He’s pretty much on the right track, but dismisses it before he can drop into that overthinking spiral he was doing earlier in the day, and decides to refocus on the current problem, probably trying to be helpful again. Yet again, reason why is ‘it’s illogical’ to keep worrying about it. Of course, he doesn’t actually have any ideas here. Logic can only take you so far Keebs. He has nothing else to contribute until Free Time. If you chat to him in the first time slot...

K1-B0: A killing game... Why are we being forced to do such a thing? I cannot believe we're being subjected to this purely for the entertainment value!

Keebo has apparently found the script and read chapter six. oknotreally, he’s clearly basing this off the fact it’s called a game and Monokuma basically answered his ‘why are you doing this’ with ‘lolcuzican’, and can’t accept this as a valid reason. Yet he’s not gonna get another one! In time slot two he’s hanging out at the gym

K1-B0: I'm tired of everyone's prejudices! Yes, I'm a robot. But I'm also a high school student like everyone else, you know!?

Himiko literally said kill him first, I think he’s allowed to be a bit miffed about being treated differently. He’s still not arguing that he’s not different, but wants to be treated the same way the others are in ways they can be. sadly for Keebs he is this game’s easy target and he will not be getting a break ever and he needs a hug. Instead we’re going to make a mockery of him again when Shuichi recruits Kaede for operation ‘Get Miu to Make Stuff For Us’ as go near the Casino area.

Kaede: Morning Keebo. K1-B0: Ah, good morning. Your timing is impeccable. I have something I wish to ask you both. Shuichi: Huh? What is it, Keebo? K1-B0: What are your thoughts on this door? No matter how hard I try, it will not open... Kaede: Um, well...it doesn't seem like an exit... K1-B0: What do you think is on the other side of this wall? Kokichi: Why don’t you fly over and see for yourself? K1-B0: Whoa—!? Shuichi: K-Kokichi!? Kokichi: C’mon! I wanna see you fly! Robots have jet packs or whatever under their feet, right? K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Whaaat? You...don’t...? K1-B0: ...No, I don't. Kokichi: ...Have a dick? K1-B0: Wh-What are you talking about!? Kokichi: Oh yeah! If you had a jet pack... then you could've flown over the wall and called for help! K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Geeeez! You're just a huge disappointment, Keebo! K1-B0: ... Kaede: K-Keebo? K1-B0: ...I’m fine. Please just let it be. I...don't like sci-fi functions like flight. Kaede: But aren't you already pretty sci-fi? K1-B0: ... Kaede: Um...it might be better to leave them alone... 

Oh look a big semi important conversation. Keebo’s just asking questions again, he seems to put a lot of importance on what other people think over what he personally does. (he listens to a voice in his head that he knows isn’t himself. listening to other people first is probably preprogramed into him so he’s more malleable >> You can also take it as having a lot of doubts about himself.) Of course, neither Kaede or Shuichi can have any more idea than he does about the wall and what’s beyond it, but he’s asking anyway! Then Kokichi shows up and completely redirects the conversation to Keebo’s abilities again. And robot just can’t follow this! He knows he’s going to disappoint Kokichi ability wise again and clams up instead of stating yes or no clearly here, it takes a second nudge to get an answer. Honestly it reads like he feels bad that the reason he can’t fly is because of something he personally doesn’t like, so he’s unable to help again. He just assures Kaede he’s fine and then clams up again. He’s probably not fine! Like Kaede thinks, Keebo is..pretty sci-fi on his own, but he’s not elaborating on why he doesn’t like that sort of thing. It makes him stand out too much, it makes him less ‘like everyone else’ is probably a safe bet though. And all of this is completely missable dialogue :v In free time slot three he’s in the B classroom alone.

K1-B0: ...Tsumugi just asked me if I can perform a "rocket punch." Why does everyone automatically assume that robots have a rocket punch function!? I don't have a violent function like that! 

it’s a common robot trope, but keebo doesn’t know this, apparently. But hey, bonus reafirrming that Keebo would consider rocket punching violent, and probably doesn’t have any other similar features. Nor does he want any. (For now.) In time slot 4, the final one...

K1-B0: ...At this rate, the time limit will expire before we know it. We must take action somehow... 

He’s worried again! That, and still using ‘we’. Killing someone and only looking out for himself isn’t an option here. He does have good reason to be worried though, if you swing on by to talk to Himiko at this time... Himiko: The time limit is tomorrow night... Maybe...we should kill the robot? Kaede: That's just a joke...right? 

seriously himiko you’re a jerk. I get it, you’re magic and he’s all science and wouldn’t buy a magic trick for a second but you have seen him around for a few days now and are just calling him ‘the robot’ and saying someone should kill him!  For the second time! At least he’s not in the room this time but come on! Himiko clearly has a division between human life and Keebo’s life, and she’s going to stay that way, Which, fair enough, a human can value human life over other forms of life (and guess what we usually do) but...he’s literally sitting and talking with you guys and in the exact same boat. He’s closer to human than a lot of things... After this free time we don’t see him at all until it’s corpse time. So I’ll throw down his Kaede FTEs now. With all the options. As I’m nuts.

K1-B0: If you have come to talk to me...that can only mean you are interested in me, right Kaede? I certainly do not mind. After all, I am the Ultimate Robot. Naturally, I will attract interest. Kaede: Yeah, I've never talked to such a human-like robot before... Well, any robot, really. Hey, if you don't mind... Can I ask you a question? K1-B0: By all means, ask me anything. Oh, but I cannot answer any questions about the technology used to create me. Kaede: Don't worry, I won't ask anything too difficult! Okay, first question...do you sleep at night? K1-B0: I have no need for sleep. However, it is necessary to recharge my power cells. Kaede: Oh, so you recharge! K1-B0: Yes, but I am still conscious while I recharge, so it's not quite the same as human sleep...A single charge generates a week's worth of power, so I don't need to do it very often. Kaede: Ooh, for one week, I see... I always assumed robots needed a lot of electricity. K1-B0: That's what's so incredible about me! My energy efficiency is truly incomparable! Kaede: Hmmm... K1-B0: ...That's it? Kaede: Huh? Was he expecting me to be more excited? To be honest, it's not *that* amazing... May I ask you another question, then? K1-B0: Yes, go ahead... Kaede: Do you eat? K1-B0: ...No... Kaede: Huh? He looks pretty down... Sorry, did I say something wrong? K1-B0: No, I'm sorry too...Though I cannot eat, food still looks delicious to me. The unfairness of it all pains me... Kaede: Yeah, that seems pretty rough. Do you like girls? K1-B0: ...Huh? Kaede: Are you attracted to human girls? Or do you prefer female robots? K1-B0: Are you suggesting...that robots should stick with their own kind? Kaede: I didn't mean it like that! I was just curious! Honest! K1-B0: Then...are you saying...that you...and me...? Kaede: Th-That's not it, either! K1-B0: ...Of course. I apologize for being overly self-conscious. I have never felt romantic attraction, so I cannot answer questions on that subject. Kaede: How do you feel about the Roomba? K1-B0: You mean...the disc-shaped cleaning robot that scoots along the floor Kaede: Yeah, that! Do you see them as, like, younger siblings or something? K1-B0:  ...Kaede, it's very robophobic to suggest that robots are only good for cleaning. You should know that I am completely different from that simple machine. Kaede: But you guys are basically the same, more or less...so I was just wondering K1-B0: That does not matter. If I am comparable to a human, that thing is comparable to a microbe. Kaede: But compared to Roombas, you're losing in the popularity department. K1-B0: Why, that's—! Kaede: I'm kidding! Really! K1-B0: Krgh...! Human jokes are rather vexing...! Kaede: I continued to ask Keebo some questions... Well, that's all! Thanks for answering them, Keebo! K1-B0: Yes, of course...You're the first person to ask me so many questions, one after the other. Kaede: Oh! Was I being too forward? K1-B0: No, that's not what I meant. I just thought......being treated like that isn't so bad. It's actually...kind of fun.

hooboy that’s a lot. Robot is just looking for some validation and is not gonna get it in the ways he thinks he should! One week battery life is incredibly impressive but Kaede sure doesn’t think so, or care to know why that is. She is pretty nice though, overall. Oh and the fact Keebo has a built in company secrets thing is kinda funny. Maybe that’s why he’s garbage with computers, he can’t blab if he doesn’t know jack :v. Mostly we just reconfirm that Keebo is pretty bad at talking to people and probably hasn’t met all that many. He also takes the ‘liking girl’s question really badly and backpedals into being offended when really he just doesn’t have an answer at all. Since he doesn’t know what love is. He actually apologizes for freaking out here, so apparently getting touchy is just his default reaction. :p You can see when he actually has time to explain why he doesn’t like a thing he’ll actually do so, and seems more reasonable when he can. Of course he doesn’t like being compared to something that scoots along, doesn’t think and cleans. They’re both robots, but really not on the same level...and Keebo isn’t quite sure how he’s going to handle that. He says it’s rude to say they’re only good for cleaning...but you can kind of tell he mostly means in relation to himself/robots as intelligent as he is. So instead he just sounds weird and inconsistent...and robophobic himself considering he thinks he’s better than other robots :v Even if it is a joke...Kaede is probably right about the roombas being more popular than Keebs. Also who the heck made him think food looks good when he can’t eat. That’s just mean.

Kaede’s blurb about him for the FTE is pretty positive too, when you see Shuichi’s they’re quite different. (Though their rank one FTEs are INCREDIBLY SIMILAR. because this is how Keebo introduces himself to people. By assuming they want to know about him and flailing. aka terribly. this poor robot. he’s probably only met other people interested in robotics before now.) So we move to FTE 2, where Kaede shows she’s an impulsive little imp when she wants to be!

Kaede: I'm chatting with Keebo again today, but... K1-B0: ...Kaede, is something troubling you? Kaede: N-No! It's nothing.  To be honest, something's been bothering me, and I can't really focus on our conversation.There's a button on Keebo's neck... What does it do? It's calling out to me... I wanna push the button! *thud* K1-B0: Hm? What was that sound? Kaede: Whatever that sound was, it occurred at the exact right time...Because when Keebo turned around, his neck was completely defenseless...Oh, god! The button is like screaming, "Don't push me! Don't push me!" But I'm definitely gonna push the button! *click!* 

(great job you broke him kaede. they do a ... back and forth like five times, just stare at it for a bit.) No reaction...? Keebo!? I called his name and circled around him... K1-B0: ... Kaede: Whaaaaat!? Keebo was completely frozen! Like a toy out of batteries...M-Maybe that was the emergency stop button!? Wh-What should I do!? Maybe if I push it again, it'll fix him...? Hoping that was the case, I pressed the button again. *click!* K1-B0: ... Kaede: ... K1-B0:  Wha—!? Kaede, why are you in front of me? Weren't you behind me earlier? A-And why are you so close to me? Kaede: I-I'm so glad... You're back to normal... K1-B0: Huh? What do you mean? Kaede: U-Um...well, I noticed a button on your neck, so I pushed it K1-B0: What—!? You discovered this button!? Kaede: I-I'm so sorry! It was tempting me! Was that the emergency stop button? K1-B0: ...Yes. It's there just in case my AI or essential functions encounter problems. Kaede: I didn't know you had such a function... K1-B0: Kaede...you know my secret now... Kaede: I-If it's a secret, then you should've hid it better! K1-B0: But what good is an emergency button that cannot be easily found in an emergency? Kaede: But there are people who might push it for fun...like me... K1-B0: ...That's true. I will forward your feedback to the professor when we get out of here. Kaede: Yeah, good idea... K1-B0: But...Kaede, that means you will have influenced my design. Which means you will have played a role in my creation. Kaede: Huh? You're exaggerating. K1-B0: It's no exaggeration. If Professor Idabashi can be considered my "father"...Then you, Kaede, will be my "mother." So I shall call you mom. Kaede: M-M-Mom!? What!? K1-B0: ...That was a joke. Kaede: U-Um... K1-B0: It's payback for messing with my body. You deserve at least that much. Kaede: Ha...hahaha... I'm so sorry, Keebo. A robot making a joke... That's pretty cool. The title of Ultimate Robot really suits him. K1-B0: Um, Kaede... Do you think you can keep that button a secret from everyone? Kaede: Yeah, don't worry. Kokichi definitely can't find out about his button. That would be a huge problem...

Keebo spends a good chunk of his own FTE completely frozen up :v That, and Keebo has this collar covering nearly all of his neck and half of his face! How did you get to it? Or are you calling the collar his neck. He’s probably had to deal with literally getting his buttons pushed before, but Kaede does apologize so he seems more okay with it than he’d usually be. (Really as long as you say sorry he’s generally okay...he wants you to like him.) Also, having that button probably isn’t a ton of fun, even if it’s important. He was completely unaware of what happened and a bit disoriented because of it. Yet he still has time to defend the professor about the placement of the stop button. (As I seriously doubt he had any say in where it is, Kaede! Don’t go pushing random buttons on people!) The fact he gets back at her with an attempt at a joke this time is pretty cute, considering he just previously said jokes are difficult for him. He’s learning! That and the fact both of them instantly go ‘Kokichi must never know’ is just ‘yes, hilarious.’ He’s pretty lucky she keeps it secret and no one else finds out. As an aside, Kaede can ask Rantaro what she thinks of people, and Keebo is an option.

Rantaro: Nah, it's nothing. By the way, who's the most...unique person here, in your eyes? Kaede:  Keebo... Rantaro: Being a robot is interesting enough that his personality barely matters. But you know, I think Keebo is on our side... Kaede: What do you mean, on our side? Rantaro: Have you ever heard of the Three Laws of Robotics? The long and short of it is...robots can't harm people. If Keebo's creator was a good scientist, he would have programmed that into Keebo's AI. We're all human, so we can assume that he's on our side...Of course, I'm just guessing

He probably wouldn’t appreciate his personality not having to matter, but Rantaro basically seems to trust Keebo here. Because he’s a robot :v Unfortunately, he doesn’t trust him enough to let him in on the survivor perk thing...he probably would have lived if Keebo came along to his ill advised library search. It’s much harder to sneak up on two people with a shot putt ball. speaking of shot putt balls, time to get past the part where he dies. Since Keebs is hiding out his room, he gets summoned by the body discovery announcement.

He doesn’t get it, and understandably panics a little, and doesn’t really interact with anyone, they’re all doing their own expressions of dismay. Miu’s does come after his though. What finally gets him talking again? Being worried he won’t be much help.

Kirumi: Do not fret. Just imagine this as something out of a police drama or detective manga. Right, Shuichi? Shuichi: R-Right... K1-B0: I'm in trouble... I've never watched police dramas or read detective manga! Korekiyo: Well...there's no need to think so hard. We need only converse with the corpse... A corpse is not simply a dead person. That is just an assumption made by the living. Yes! By coming face to face with the corpse, you will learn a great many things! (yes that is it exactly.)

Really though, how long has Keebo been ‘alive’? He’s never so much as looked at entire genre even once? You had time for the entire history of stand up and didn’t look at detectives? Shuichi taking charge a little does get him a bit more positive though.

K1-B0: As novice investigators, logic dictates that we work together rather than give in to paranoia.

Teamwork makes the dream work :v He also goes ahead and does the protagonist thing again here.

Kaede: We’ll all escape from here! I’ll make sure of it! K1-B0: So, let's get started. 

He’s the first one to say ‘okay let’s do the thing.’ He’s also the first to react when Kaede says...

Kaede: The mastermind killed Rantaro... K1-B0: ...Mastermind? I’m sorry, what are we talking about?

Asking clarifying questions is Keebo’s part time job at this rate. Most of the other characters have no idea what Kaede is going on about here! This exchange is ten times funnier when you know Kaede is actually right, Tsumugi’s sprite is on screen when she says this and everything. Keebo also trusts Monophanie at her word when it comes to developing the camera film.

K1-B0: And she said she had to follow the rules, so I don’t think she’d destroy evidence. 

He doesn’t say how he thinks very often! Though in this case he’s probably speaking from experience...he’s a robot too, and might have rules he absolutely has to follow. (Such as not talking about how he was created.) Gonta is the other one who trusts her...but Gonta is kind of a sweetheart that trusts almost anyone so :v. Angie also sort of does? But really, the ones who trust are all in the ‘probably not taken seriously’ camp. He continues to be a team player during the investigation.

Kirumi: I do not intend to offer a suggestion that would further arouse suspicion, but... K1-B0: No, that's logical! Please speak your mind, Kirumi! Kaito: It's not something you should be proud to say... but I guess we don't have a choice. After all, if we don't find out who the culprit is, we'll all be killed. 

Keebs with the logic train again, with Kaito there going ‘I Do Not Like’, seeing as it’s kinda hard to believe in your friends while suspecting them. He almost seems to be chastising Keebo here, since he’s unapologetically for the ‘stick in groups’ plan. Of course robot lad knows someone is dead, someone here had to have done it, taking all precautions therefore is only being sensible. In the investigation proper he hangs out in the classroom they kept watch in with Korekiyo, since he actually listens when they say stay in groups.

K1-B0: Kaede, Shuichi! I would like to ask you two a question! You were on lookout inside this classroom, right? Kaede: Yeah. From here, we could keep an eye on the basement, and it was close to the library, too. Shuichi: That’s our alibi. We were both in this classroom when the murder occurred. K1-B0: I see... Then the probability that you two committed the crime is extremely low... By the way...were you two together the entire time? Shuichi: No...I did leave for a bit to see what was happening in the basement. But besides that, we were together the whole time, until the receiver went off. Kaede: Y-Yeah, that's right... K1-B0: ...I understand. Thank you very much. Kaede: Is that all you wanted to ask? K1-B0 Oh, may I ask you one more question? Specifically, about that vent... It appears to be connected to this classroom. The air duct in the basement hallway leads to it... Shuichi: Yes, I was also concerned about this vent... That’s why we kept watch in this classroom. Kaede: Because the culprit wouldn't be able to use this vent if we're in here on lookout. K1-B0: Under those circumstances, it would be difficult to sneak into the library from here. Shuichi: Kaede stacked up books in front of the library vent as well. With those in the way, it would be even harder for someone to go in and out. K1-B0: Really? I will be sure to save that important piece of information to my memory bank. I hope my line of questioning has not offended either of you. It is necessary, so that we may find the truth. Kaede: Keebo, you totally sounded like a detective or a lawyer just now! Oh! Maybe you were a detective or a lawyer in a past life!

Keebo does not appreciate your absolute nonsense Kaede. Even if you’re meaning it as a complement. He’s trying pretty hard, noticing the vent and asking for alibis and trying to puzzle out what happened. He is of course, pretty wrong about these two being unlikely culprits for being here since he hasn’t considered how the murder occurred, but he’s already admitted to not being good at this. He even apologizes for being rude, he’s so worried about making people not like him! Yet he still gets prickly about the robot thing, but really Kaede should we be talking about past lives when there’s a smashed avocado downstairs at this very moment?

Kaede: Hey Keebo, what were you doing and where during the body discovery announcement?  K1-B0: Ah... My alibi.  ... ... (we get his glitching out sprite here :v) Kaede: ...Um, are you glitching right now? K1-B0: No, I'm just searching for the right words. In all honesty I was alone in my room, so I admit my alibi is not altogether reliable... Kaede: So...you don't have an alibi? K1-B0: But Ryoma said he was alone in his room, too. Kaede: Geez, way to throw him under the bus K1-B0:  Huh!? Th-That was not my intention! Kaede: But I see... Both Keebo and Ryoma don't have an alibi... That means, it's possible one of those two is the mastermind... K1-B0: Umm... Am I under suspicion because I don't have an alibi? Kaede: No... I won't suspect you just because you don't have an alibi. And I’m not saying that because you’re a robot or anything! I’m not robophobic at all! K1-B0: Thank you very much. But...you don't need to be so PC. 

Don’t throw Ryomas under busses. Though this is more of ‘I’m stating a fact’ and not really thinking how that comes off again. Well, really you should be under suspicion Keebo, but Kaede already knows who the culprit is and is trying to make you feel better since you’re clearly anxious about it. So she leans into your weak point...and you tell her it’s fine and she doesn’t need to do that. Now is that because her outright saying she not a robophobe makes you feel silly, or are you so worried about inconveniencing your friends you’re just automatically downgrading the importance of your feelings? keebo doesn’t know what he wants. So who’s the one to ask the protagonist about the last bit of evidence they get?

K1-B0: ...Kaede! Are those the developed photos?

zero points for guessing designated audience insert. I have a question and wish to ask it is just how he rolls, especially early on when everyone needs time to talk.

K1-B0: There is one more photo of the front entrance, correct? 

as you see.  A+ for consistency.

Kaede: The camera pointed at the front entrance only snapped these four photos... K1-B0: Neither Rantaro nor anyone else who could be the culprit are in the photos... Ryoma: Did they both enter through the back door, then? 

Adding his two cents, though he’s basically stating the obvious. Hmm. Is it really his two cents when he’s just making factual comments? Ryoma’s the one who actually moves the thought to the next question that needs to be answered.

Ryoma: Could the culprit have gone into the hidden door? K1-B0: Yes, that is a possibility. Korekiyo: For now, let us see the next picture. There is one remaining, isn't there? 

Validating other people’s assumptions but not adding any of his own here.  

Shuichi: But that would mean that Rantaro noticed it... He saw...our hidden camera... K1-B0: Moving the bookcase triggers the sensor, which in turn activates the camera, right? The bookcase appears to have already been moved, so why did the sensor activate...? Tenko: Who cares!? What happened to the culprit!? How come they're not in any of the photos!? 

Tenko, Keebo cares. That’s why he asked.  He’s either not quite understanding how the sensor works...or he’s pointing out the bookcase has moved more than it should have to trigger the sensor a second time. So we know someone came out of the mastermind lair when Rantaro got distracted by the flash. We will never touch on this again! We know the door can automatically close, but it’s in the exact same position despite the camera interval timers. this is probably just oversight but it is kind of funny to think this could have been a giveaway.

Kaede: We just need to expose the mastermind in this class trial! And then everything, including this killing game...will come to an end. K1-B0: Yes, that's right.

Gotta stick to those safe tiny bits of encouragement eh Keebs? even if he’s wrong

K1-B0: I'm sorry, I can't even posit a guess as to who the culprit might be...But I haven't given up! I assure you, we will avenge Rantaro!

‘I have nothing useful to add, so I’m going to use odd words and restate my willingness to help.’ The choice of ‘avenge’ is pretty interesting though. Keebs isn’t big on violence, and we’re not going to be avenging Rantaro with a song and dance number here, we’re gonna get someone else dead. Perhaps we’re getting a tiny peek at the ends justify the means Keebo who only really gets to come out to play in chapter six. or he’s just mimicking the other’s sentiments and not thinking too hard about what avenging would mean :v

Keade: An...elevator? K1-B0: Does he want us to board it?

protagsaskstupidquestions.txt

K1-B0: This is an authentic replica of a courtroom

No it’s not! Well maybe it is in ronpa world. oh god does he know what they look like because he was literally built for this. is this why he threatens with lawsuits.

Tenko: First, let's breathe in! And breathe out! We need to remember our "No, No, No's"! “No pushing! No running! No talking!” K1-B0: But communication is the foundation of any discussion!

The human is confusing me, and we’ve been here for like five seconds. He can’t think of a good way to start, so he’s stuck just pointing out things that might be problems, such as not talking :v

Ryoma: The mastermind, huh? Odds are, it's one of us... Kokichi: It's Kee-boy over here! Everyone else thinks so too! K1-B0: D-Does everyone really think that...!? Kaede: We'll get to the bottom of this... 

He can instantly buy into the idea that everyone suspects him. Even when it’s coming from Kokichi. Kaede sort of denies it, but this poor boy. He’s trying so hard and wants to do his best but has no trouble at all going ‘yeah everyone doubts me’. Maybe that’s a protag thing, with how Shuichi freaks out when you present the wrong evidence :v (THEY’LL THINK I’M A FRAUD)

Kaede: Because, Rantaro didn't have the card key to open the hidden door. You'd think the mastermind would have that card key on him, right? K1-B0: Perhaps the culprit took the card key after killing Rantaro? Shuichi: But none of the pictures show Rantaro holding the card key. So I don't really think he had the key at all

Time for Keebo to make little logical guesses and generally be wrong, since this is Kaede and Shuichi’s trial to run. Someone’s gotta double down on Rantaro possibly being the mastermind I suppose. 

Ryoma: To lure Rantaro to the library...and kill him K1-B0: Does that mean the culprit and the mastermind are one in the same? Korekiyo: Hmm... That does seem plausible. It’s very likely the mastermind knew about Kaede and Shuichi’s trap. Kaede: The mastermind knew about our trap this whole time?

Yes, but actually no. Ryoma, Keebo and Korekiyo are absolutely correct here, even though we won’t be getting the correct answer. It’s kind of impressive that the ‘real world’ protag and his Investigation Buddy have the actual right answer here. (Kiyo and Keebs were together after all). Ryoma’s showing up a lot near Keebo’s dialogue too :v The most unexpected trio ever.

K1-B0: So you knew nothing about the trap in the library? Miu: I'm tellin' ya, I had no idea! Not like it matters...cuz I never went to the library, okay!? Ryoma: The person who made the cameras...would've known their blind spots, too.

Keebo Ryoma tag team...to get the agree statement Kaede needs. I don’t think Keebo has really talked to Miu beyond her calling him pathetic once still.

Ryoma: Cool your jets, kid. Korekiyo: Tsumugi and Kirumi were both in the dining hall as well. K1-B0: We can dismiss those four as potential culprits if they were together the entire time. Korekiyo: No...not the entire time. At one point, Tsumugi went to the restroom. Tsumugi: Oh...so you brought that up after all...It's true. I went to the restroom closest to the dining hall.

I really didn’t notice how often these guys are paired together but now I keep seeing them. Kiyo corrects Keebo like a good Investigation Buddy and brings up a damning clue even. THAT WE WON”T USE AAAAA

Tenko: I would never punch a foe from behind! A true aikido master would never do something so dishonorable! K1-B0: Punching is permitted in aikido!? Tenko: Yes! Neo-Aikido even uses wooden swords! Maki: All you've proven is that you're an idiot.

A distraction conversation in the mass panic debate, but the fact Keebo is so baffled here is funny to me. I suppose he’d be more interested in self defense styles like aikido. Gonta also mentions  ‘ Not person... Robot? Like Keebo? ‘ when talking to Angie. Keebo Is Not A Person is a pretty common sentiment in the class :v

Tsumugi: The A/V Room's sliding door doesn't open, so you can't get into the hallway. K1-B0: If you cannot enter the hallway, how would you open the rear door to the library? Kirumi: Although you cannot fit your whole body through the sliding door, an arm would suffice. It would be possible if you used a particular item in the A/V Room.

Keebo doesn’t talk a ton in this trial because Lots Of People need screentime, but here he is to ask more questions now that we’ve moved past the correct culprit and are moving on to the ‘acceptable’ culprit. He continues to follow Kirumi’s logic path after this exchange too.

Kirumi: Yes, the act of throwing a shot put ball could lead one to use it as a weapon. K1-B0: Even if a person couldn't fit through the space, a shot put ball certainly would.

He doesn’t see the contradiction Kaede does in the whole open bookcase thing, after all. So he’s just helping in making Gonta look suspicious.

Kokichi: Yup! A walking, talking Roomba can't compare to a mighty beast like Gonta! K1-B0: That Roomba remark...is probably not about me, as l have a variety of custodial functions.

Yes, I’m sure everyone totally believes he believes that. While your rebuttal is ‘i can do lots of types of cleaning over a roomba’. This robot, I swear. I tell Kaede off for assuming robots should just need to clean but to prove myself to Kokichi I will talk about how good I am at cleaning things. (Amusing, Kaede apparently magically remembers this, she brings up Keebo’s cleaning function in one of her Salmon mode library dates :v) Also: Kokichi proving to himself that he can derail the robot REALLY EASILY if he wants to be distracting in trials. Keebo doesn’t participate again until another robot crack sets him off. 

Tsumugi: We don't even know if they're a guy or not, though, right? Himiko: Or if they're even human... K1-B0: Are you referring to me?

Himiko doesn’t like you Keebo, I’m sorry. Who else could she be referring to? The fact Tsumugi is saying this to Kaito’s ‘culprit should man up and confess’ thing though? Ha

Angie: The culprit was hiding in the library the whole time, before Kaede and Shuichi even placed the cameras. K1-B0: Where would they have hidden? Angie: Inside the hidden door! Ryoma: So you’re sayin’ the culprit was lyin’ in wait there? Korekiyo: If that's true, the suspects...are those who were alone at time of the incident.

Oh look, Keebo is talking when proof of the real culprit shows up, and asks the question that brings up that proof. Angie’s right! Kiyo is going a bit too far in suspecting Keebo and Ryoma here, but they’d be on the right track if it wasn’t for that chalk dust in the card reader :v 

Kirumi: So the real question is how the culprit entered and exited the library. K1-B0: We cannot continue until we address that problem first! Korekiyo: It’s quite the mystery. How did the killer avoid being caught by the cameras?

He’s helping a little here in making sure the discussion stays on this topic, but Investigation Buddy Kiyo is the one doing the work again. Keebs, you are really showing your inner Makoto :v

Miu: Eureka! I know how the culprit got in the library-- the front door! K1-B0: Um... Have you been paying attention? The camera would've taken their picture. Miu: Not if the culprit timed their movements around the camera intervals!

He’s so exasperated by her by saying something that goes against hard evidence/logic. He hasn’t even considered such a thing like camera intervals. He’s pretty bad about thinking of stuff that goes against ‘facts’. Sadly we won’t get more robot sass for a bit. But hey, we got some.

Miu: The three cameras that Kaediot and Poo-ichi placed go off when they pick up movement. From there, it takes 30 seconds for the film to auto-roll to the next photo. K1-B0: So, for 30 seconds, anyone could've entered the library without their photo being taken!? Kirumi: That may have been enough time to kill Rantaro and exit the library...

Thank you for summarizing for the audience Keebo, I think they figured that out. He’s perfectly happy to work with Miu even if he was just snarking at her for not paying attention. She just needed a logical reason and now he’s on board, no problems. This is probably the first non-aggressive/in agreement bit the two have, depending on how you read their other interactions.

Korekiyo: I see. Then he caused the receiver to go off in front of Kaede to trick her. Shuichi: ... K1-B0: It's certainly plausible, considering that Shuichi knew about the intervals.

Ryoma, since the receiver trick is his idea is the one who gets Keebo on the Suspecting Shuichi bandwagon. The fact Kiyo talks right before he decides it’s plausible is just amusing. He keeps following them, but doesn’t seem very sure. He doesn’t join in for the following debate.

Kaede: So that’s why there’s no way Shuichi could’ve turned off the receiver! Shuichi: ... K1-B0: If that is true, then the entire premise of the argument thus far is wrong... Kirumi: Is this true, Kaede?

He doesn’t actually ask if it’s true, just what it would mean if it was. I’m not sure if I’d rather take it as he doesn’t really buy it or not, she doesn’t seem like a great liar, but Keebo is pretty garbage at reading things. I don’t really think be buys it yet personally (he does later once hearing ‘why would I lie’), that why he doesn’t want to ask, but I can see it being the other way, in he does completely and he’s bummed that they’re back to square one.

Korekiyo: Or perhaps...you wanted to cover for Shuichi, even at the cost of your life. Shuichi: ...Huh?

Kokichi: Words from a true heartless robot! Emotions are only for meatbags! K1-B0: That is a harmful stereotype. I can produce heartfelt remarks through calculations! Tsumugi: Like "less than three"? Those kinds of calculations?

Mugi’s just here to dunk on a robot. Keebo is actually showing how different he is from everyone here. Even though he’s a big team player, he can’t fathom why someone would risk death for a lie for someone else. Kokichi is going to give Keebo a real life example someday, but it seems like Keebo is a tiiiny bit selfish here, or really just very lonely. He doesn’t have a strong enough relationship with anyone to make this idea seem possible, that and he’s not much of a liar. It’s not a shock Kokichi jumps on him here to try and figure out if this is just a shortcoming or Keebo just doesn’t feel much in general, but Keebo’s angry response probably clued him in. Even if he needs to clarify he’s doing so via calculations. Maybe you;re a bit too honest, Keeboy. (Also, given what we learn in his third FTE, a bit strange. His previous self killed himself over risking hurting the professor again...but perhaps he’s not counting that because it’s not a lie?) Either way, he’s taking Kaede’s lie as 100% truth at this point.

Miu: So we all agree that Poo-ichi did it!? Then let's just vote already! K1-B0: No, I think it’s too soon to determine the culprit. Tsumugi: Umm...I agree. I sort of can't believe that Shuichi is the culprit.

mugi i swear to god you just love flaunting don’t you. Keebo’s the first to go ‘actually let’s not die killing tthe wrong person’, so good for him. Against Miu, again. you two have a rocky start huh.

Ryoma: If Shuichi had the receiver, it could have been disguised. K1-B0: Kaede is the one who actually had the receiver!

Robot is gonna be the one taking the lie in the debate scrum and using it as a weapon. She said she didn’t lie, it is a fact now, and he’s sticking with it. He really flip flops on how much he wants to trust people. I think he wants to trust everyone generally, but then he gets in that logic zone and starts being suspicious again. Thaaat and the voice in his head often probably tells him to get off the logic track and believe. He listens to it when he ‘doesn’t know what to do’, and let’s be real Keebo is almost in a constant state of ‘what do’. The less confident he is, the more likely he’s going to be nudged into being trusting...

Kaito: Whoa! The brightness is totally different! K1-B0: Same room, circumstance, and camera. And yet, there is a disparity in brightness...

Reiterating and expanding on what Kaito said here, but he’s letting Shuichi explain it instead of trying to do so himself. It’s this sort of thing that makes me think his confidence is incredibly fragile >>

Shuichi: ...Kaede is the culprit. K1-B0: Huh!?

Keebo has identified the new protagonist and is now reacting to them first instead of False Protagonist. I suppose it makes sense he’s first to react a decent chunk of the time...he does have a computer for a brain. Quick on the update, sometimes. Not that he knows what to say beyond being baffled.

Shuichi: How Kaede killed Rantaro with the shot put ball...should become clear when you consider where she used it. K1-B0: Where she used the shot put ball?

Keebo you were in the room and pointed out the vent, come on buddy. but i was serious about how he’s figured out who he should be listening to most closely again.

Shuichi: ...She rolled it. She rolled the shot from the first floor classroom and hit Rantaro. K1-B0: I am skeptical that she could perform such a feat of accuracy...

see? Of course in his confusion the thing he personally investigated has just dropped right out of his hard drive. :v It does egg Shuichi on so he’ll continue explaining. It’s his show now. To the point Keebo stays silent until we get to Kaede’s motivations.

Shuichi: You weren’t persuaded by Monokuma...and you weren't trying to save yourself. What you were trying to do...was kill the mastermind! K1-B0: Kill...the mastermind? Shuichi:  Kaede wasn't targeting Rantaro. She was targeting the mastermind. She was trying to end this killing game... She was trying to save us all. ...Isn't that right, Kaede?

Keebo just loves to pretend to be Solid Snake. He’s been really quiet otherwise, this isn’t a good time. Kaede was one of the friendliest people to him, too.

Kaede: ... K1-B0: Kaede, what would possess you to do something like this?

Even after hearing how it played out (well, everyone thinks it played out) he still doesn’t get it. She did it to kill the mastermind, but he just can’t see why you’d ever take such a step. Maybe he wants to hear it from her, but it’s still a gut punch.

Kaede: I felt like if I didn't do this, then Rantaro's death would have been meaningless. K1-B0: We were searching for both the culprit and the mastermind during this class trial. Angie: Ah, Kaede did mention that.

What can you say to something like that? His death is ‘meaningless’ in a way, but the truth about him will come about later. (too bad keebo’s is the MOST meaningless) Keebo just chooses to stick to stating the facts, as if that’ll help it make more sense. Not that it probably does. He still has questions.

K1-B0: But, Kaede, why did you set such a convoluted trap? If your intent was to kill the mastermind, there was no reason for you to cover your tracks. Kaito: Isn't it obvious? It's because...she didn't want Shuichi to know.

Kaito is way better at figuring out people’s motivations, especially if driven by emotion. Keebo’s question is sensible...but it is probably rather obvious to everyone else there. He’s accepted she killed with a reason, though we don’t know if he thinks it was a good reason. Being tricked like this...it couldn’t have been good for anyone. He doesn’t stand up to the Exisals. He’s not going to throw his life away.

Kaede: Even after I'm gone...my wish will still be here. So I’m counting on you all! I’m entrusting my wish to every one of you! I believe in you! I believe that you all will make it through this, somehow! You guys better live! Don't go dying on me now! End this ridiculous killing game, survive, and get the hell out of this place! And then...be friends after you escape, okay? I think you’ll all be the best of friends. K1-B0: Affirmative, Kaede...

He will agree to try and make her wish come true. (before everyone else. he’s quick on the draw for this kind of thing.) Of course...no one takes her death well.

A horrible mess Keebo, a horrible mess. Of course, he can still pull himself together if a question needs to be asked.

Monokuma: ...Hate you? Puhuhu...who can say? That's your job to figure out. If you really wanna know what's going on, you're gonna have to work for it. ...Though the corpse formerly known as Rantaro may have had a hunch. Gonta: ...Huh? K1-B0: What do you mean? What was Rantaro's hunch? Monokuma: Puhuhu... What, indeed?

Posing for the camera, that bear. Unfortunately, Keebo doesn’t really pursue what Rantaro’s hunch might have been...or if he does, Shuichi isn’t around to see him do it. Or maybe he mentions it in a one off line and I’ve forgotten. We’ll see.

Tenko: Wh-what kinda d-degenerate male... cries in p-public...? It’s so r-rude... Keebo: But, Tenko, you're crying too. Ryoma: Now's not the time to point that out, Keebo. Just let it be.

Ryoma’s a good guy, he’s figured out Keebo doesn’t really mean anything by it, and he’s genuinely confused by Tenko’s illogical statement. No mockery or anything, just tells him to let it go for now. Of course he’s trying to get more easily answered questions figured out when you’re stuck dealing with ones like ‘why did Kaede have to die’, ‘why did it have to be so cruel’ or ‘what secrets do we know nothing about’. He’d rather be distracted right now.

Kaito: Clench your teeth! K1-B0: Kaito! You are supposed to say that *before* you hit him!

An easy fact that can be applied, so he speaks up. He’ll be speaking up when Kaito does a repeat performance later, too. Kaito and Keebo get on each others case sometimes :v But now it’s Keebo’s turn to be a bit insensitive. 

Shuichi: ...I'm fine.

Gonta: Gonta not sure it waste of time. But Gonta agree, fighting not good...

That was a pretty emotional moment between people mourning a lost one with Kaito trying to get Shuichi to stand up and fight back annnnnd Keebo’s calling it a waste of time. Oooof, he is bad at people. Gonta disagrees, though to Keebo it’s logically just a waste. He can’t see what they’re gaining here, or the point of fighting between friends like this. We know in hindsight that Shuichi kind of needs this, but our robot pal doesn’t. That, and violence is never really entering his acceptable solution list. Not yet.

Shuichi: Sorry, you should go ahead without me... K1-B0: ...Why? Is there a reason you wish to stay in a place like this? Shuichi: I want to be alone for a while. Just for a little bit.

must...respond...to...protagonist...Cannot understand why you want to stay in the place Kaede just died and you got punched in. Shuichi kinda gives a non answer, but Keebo doesn’t press. Probably because he’s not going to understand the answer anyway. That’s in for chapter one!

Why did I do this? Cus I’m in the mood to replay it and I am going to babble about my favourite who deserves better. The other kids a bit too, I do like them all but mostly the robot lad.

Also congratulations if you got this far, you’re just as nuts as I am! please share your own hot takes/ things you just realized from all the quotes shoved in here. I probably should have worked on my fanfics instead of doing this :v (I have a bunch on Keebo as Verl on A03, if you are like ‘yeas i want more ravings from this mad being’) ...I’ll be back with Chapter two later...

[noneatnonedotcom]

impossible boy chapter 3

@weatherman667 this is the last part that my muse gave me, now we play the waiting game lol. this is mainly just to show how strange the culture of the kingdoms is to jaune and how out of his element he is as well as an intro to the more aggressive pyrrha and the more competitive weiss

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Pyrrha was by all accounts the perfect knight. She’d worked hard for this reputation, trained till her hands would bleed, given up her own privacy to compete in tournaments. Even become a huntress afterwards all pursuing an ideal.

She didn’t regret it. Not really she liked her life and her friends were nice enough, she just longed for something more than friendship. In truth when she was a little girl she’d become a knight only so she could rescue the charming prince and she could live happily ever after. She’d since outgrown such childish dreams, mostly.

She couldn’t be blamed if somewhere deep down inside she just wanted to find her true love. She could picture him now. Tall, blonde, a regal bearing, she’d like someone lively. And not some little boy with dreams of being hers and nothing else.

That was the main problem, she was the perfect knight and no matter where she went men wanted to be with her. It was disconcerting ,isn't love supposed to be chaste? The stories mentioned that gaining the love of the prince was a challenge for the knight to overcome just the same as the grimm they slew.

Blake and her could at least agree on that, they didn’t want the men who threw themselves at them. For Pyrrah she wanted romance. For Blake, she wanted a challenge. They weren’t truly all that different, save for the fact that she wasn’t after sex. And that she thought men were to be protected not herded like cattle.

Which is why she was so surprised to meet a boy at the headmistress’s office.

He was blonde, he was tall, he was wearing a skirt, no a kilt, he was a highlander. Her own people had stories about them, how their men wore nothing under their kilts and how they’d fight just the same as their women.

There were numerous stories of highlanders being wooed and tamed in minstral. Of them being brought to the light of civilization and how deeply they loved the ones who saved them.

Most of these also went on to talk about how that love translated into the physical acts but Pyrrha had only read a few of those passages, she was a knight after all she couldn’t be thinking about such things. She must be chaste and honorable to match her man.

“Ah Pyrrha, you’re just in time.” said the headmistress “this is lord Arc”

a lord!

Here?!

“He’ll be staying with us for a while and propriety says that he should have an escort. Since his sisters are all back home i needed a woman of the highest moral fiber to watch him” she smiled “I know it’s a great task but would you accompany the young lor”

“I’LL DO IT!” she shouted cutting her off then cleared her throat “er, I'd be happy too i mean” this was just like in the stories the young prince away from his family and scared, the knight sworn to protect him, they’d get close over time and then

“Weel that's mighty brain new ay ye. Ah thank ye dam nikkos fur yer time” he said bowing low

OH!

He was so formal!

And cute!

He was perfect!

“Noo quine schnee was in th' wey o shaw me aroond th' skale, if yoo'd be sae kin' as tae accompany us?”

Oh weiss was here too. Oh well it was well known she wasn’t interested in gentlemen “that sounds grand”

________________________________________________________________

"This is the library," Pyrrha said holding the door open for Jaune to pass through. Jaune's eyes flew open wide as he took in all the books. In fact he was so focused on the sheer number of books that filled in from floor to ceiling a good fifteen feet above, that he didn't notice Phyra letting the door shut on Weiss and the sharp looks exchanged between the two girls.

"Aye. I dinna ken if I eva seen so much knowledge," Jaune said softly as he walked over thick carpet that only served to dampen the sounds that much more. "An I wouldna ken where to even start."

He looked back and both girls jumped away from the other as if they'd been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. He started to frown. He was well used to the aggressive nature of women in general. It looked like the two were about to come to blows, but Phyra shot him a huge beaming smile and crossed to take his arm with her own and pulled him farther into the library.

"Not to worry Jaune. I'll make time to help you catch up," the redhead said smiling over at him.

"Weel," he said reaching up to scratch his head. "That's fine now. Weiss I believe you said you were top of yer class?" He said turning to look back at the girl stalking behind him. "An ye had a good bit of knowledge bout the architecture. I'd be interested in kenning all I could on that."

Weiss's lips twisted up as she shot Pyrrha a smug look. "I'm sure I could clear my schedule to find some time to walk you around Jaune.". Jaune shot her a strained smile when he hear Pyrrha's scoff. Did the lassies not like each other?

Pyrrha quickly shot him another smile. "Come there's a lot more to see? Are you hungry? I could be persuaded to take you for a nibble," she offered a playful light in her green eyes that had a cold sweat breaking out on Jaune's brow. He shot a look back at Weiss but she was looking down at the carpet muttering under her breath. He looked back at Pyrrha. "Aye. A wee bite wouldn't be amiss."

Jaune left Pyrrha pull him along. She blathered about this and that but he only listened with half an ear since he was paying more attention to how narrow the halls were and the zig-zag nature of them. If he wasn't mistaken the whole school was set up with defence in mind.

If anyone would attack the school they'd pay in blood for every inch. He thought about asking Weiss if that was what the architect had originally intended or if it was only the crazy musings of his own inner madman that made this maze make sense, but Pyrrha had already stepped ahead to throw open two large, heavily engraved doors.

Jaune once again felt his eyes grow wide as the dull roar that consisted of hundreds of huntresses all stopping their conversations to stare at him.

"Come along sweetness," Pyrrha cooed.

Jaune and Weiss joined her as she strode between the stacked lunch tables. The moment they passed the whispers started.

"This is the Mess. Everyone comes here to eat," Pyrrha stated grandly. "You'll have to sit next to me of course," she added with a coy look. "As sweet as you are, I can only imagine you'd be eaten alive."

Jaune chuckled as he nodded at the lassies watching him like he was indeed the last sweetmeat on the table. "I didna expect to be quite so popular," he admitted with a smile as he pried one girl's hands off his tartan.

He'd almost swear they were going to lift it. In fact he heard several of the girls asking rather loudly what he had hiding under there.

If they would have asked him directly he could have told them he had more than one knife, his sister had insisted he be armed at all times. He wouldn't forget her lessons anytime soon.

"Yes well. Pyrrha has a knack for drawing attention," Weiss grumbled as she stepped between him and one girl who wasn't taking a hint.

Jaune found himself grinning as she glared frostily down at the girl. "Aye seems like."

Weiss looked over at him her eyes thawing minutely.

"Come along. The line starts over here," Pyrrha said grabbing Jaune's hand and pulling him after her. "I'll introduce you to some of the others that go here. Don't worry Jaune. I'll take good care of you."

Weiss growled at several girls that pushed against her knocking her back. It didn't take long for Phyra and Weiss to both be separated from Jaune by the curious. Jaune slowly gave ground as more and more lassies came forward looking for an introduction.

In fact they had him pinned against another of those heavily gilded walls they seemed to love so much. He'd been less fearful the time his platoon had been ambushed in the wee hours of the morning two days' ride from their nearest settlement. 

Those had been bandits and only wanted his blood. These girls had a similar but completely different light in their eyes.

"Ok ladies," Pyrrha said, voice growing sharper. "Back off. Give him a bit of room to breathe."

Jaune shot her a nervous look that she returned. Weiss on the other hand he noticed had resorted to throwing elbows and wiggling her much smaller frame between women and shoving them back.

Jaune's attention was pulled back to his own dire straits when one girl's fingers yanked his leather throng from his hair letting the golden mass of hair tumble over his shoulders.

"I got his hair tie!"

Jaune cringed. The girls announcement was like a war cry. The harpies descended on him with a vengeance. Jaune did his best to fend them off but it didn't take long for sharp nails to rip into his linen shirt.

Suddenly he fell backwards right into Yang's arms when the wall behind him gave way. She looked down at him in surprise then took in the seething mass of girls descending on them.

"Rubes get him out of here," Yang growled and tossed him back to her sister and leapt into the crowd and promptly started throwing people around.

Jaune brushed some of his hair out of his eyes and into Ruby's glowing silver eyes. "Follow me if you want to live."

Jaune about laughed at her dire tone but that was quickly stifled when she put on a burst of speed and red petals filled his mouth. Together they disappeared down the hall.

________________________________________________________________

so some of you might be wondering why pyrrha is acting the way she is, well she’s copying what she’s seen from other people or heard about. she has no idea how to woo someone and as a result is kinda... bad at it.

at the same time weiss and pyrrha are competing against each other, not necessarily for jaune but just to be able to say that they won. the difference in culture playing a roll here. 

as for the girls in the mess hall, a mob is only as intelligent as its stupidest member once they got going they just kinda stopped thinking. 

glynda will come down on them like a ton of bricks but she’ll also use this as a way to convince sallem to remove jaune from the school. clearly it’s too dangerous for him here 

also you’ll notice jaune trying not to go too into his accent, he still has a little trouble with it but he’s getting better. one day the girls might actually understand what he’s saying lol

as always, let me know what you think

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Maou-jou 9 - 12 (FINAL) | Idolish7 s2 10 - 15 (FINAL) | SLS 2

I’ve been holding off new seasonals because of other things, but after I post this I’ll have enough time to get around to them. That’s why I can’t guarantee winter 2021 seasonal tags on this post...maybe the next one will have them...

Maou-jou 9

…it seems shopping channels even are the same in the demon world.

Now even the demons have quests! (The frame is different to the princess’s, though.)

Oh! The quest failed.

Neo Alraune: in flower language, “the 2nd coming of happiness”. The worry from a little while ago was, “I’m worried about my brother.” The worry from recently: “I didn’t think about being happy that the princess didn’t kill my brother.”

The penguin demons are pretty cute!

Don’t you know how parents forbid children from sleeping until they finish all their homework? Must be something like that.

Yoku ganbarimashita! – Syalis worked hard!

LOL, mental age: 3. Poseidon likes cute things…I can’t read a lot of this…the hardsubs cover the JPN text.

They…both succeeded! (…LOL?)

Maou-jou 10

Owarinocity = Endopolis. It’s a good equivalent, if I do say so myself.

…oh yeah. What happened to Alraune? Update: There she is!

Also, that blonde guy in the infomercials doesn’t look too bad…*makes chef’s kiss gesture with one hand* Nice.

I wonder, was Twilight once human…?

LOL, there’s a goat symbol on the cleric’s pyjamas. Also “first time”, LOL.

I think they were playing shiritori at one point.

Hanamaru saikou yoku dekimashita!

Maou-jou 11

…How does one “sleep cheerfully”, anyway?

I think I saw Twilight drop something…some kind of paper…

Aw, Twilight blushing is kinda cute!

LOL, 70s shoujo style. Also, “It cannot be!”

Whoa, she cancelled it?!

I read up on this series on TV Tropes…and apparently the Demon King captured the Princess in her sleep.

Kagemusha? Like a ninja or something?

Apparently the Demon Cleric is much older than he looks.

Ooh! Hypnos is back!

A-whatsit really is abysmal levels of stupid!!! (LOL)

Maou-jou 12 (FINAL)

Who’s that one tiny guy occupying one of the Ten Kings’ seats?

*watching after Christmas, about a week after the anime finished* This is not seasonally appropriate!

…*thinks for a second, then spits* That’s the 2nd Nemu in the fall 2020 season!!!

Ooh, the head paladin doesn’t look that bad, either.

“…is it good to be…”

“…has seized the princess!”

“…that demon king is rather cute.” – See? Someone agrees with me.

Anyways, that was a fun series. See you soon!

Idolish7 s2 10

…Back at it after so long…(I can’t help it though – Crunchyroll, per month, is about double the local Funimation sublicensor’s fees, and for much less content that’s worth my money to boot!)

I’ve always thought Momo was like Sasara (HypMic), so seeing him anguished hurts me in the kokoro too…

I know Banri was involved with Re:vale somehow…this must be it.

…Male idols are also popular among men? Is this why there are 8 (!!!) idol anime in winter 2021 alone…? (Also, that’s why HypMic became popular? Multidemographic appeal crossed over with obvious merchandising opportunities?)

It’s kind of scary how Momo stepped the formality towards Yuki like that (to -san).

I guess in his heart Momo still reveres Yuki, some way or another.

The rakugo curtain really sold the moment that they (current Re:vale) were acting like an old married couple.

Yay! Silver Sky is such a cool song! Of course I recognised the intro when it came on.

…I see. The elder Kujo is entrusting his dream to Tenn, so that’s why he banned Aya from seeing Tamaki. However, it’s hard to know what to feel when Aya speaks in the vaguest terms possible.

I think that was a special ending for only this episode. I don’t know what its name is, but I guess I might recognise it on Spotify one day.

Idolish7 s2 11

LOL, Nagi’s reaction.

Considering the ‘rona is getting worse outside our very windows as we speak (type?), I think it’s correct to be concerned about your future right now.

Looking at these narrow streets reminds me of going to eat hotpot at the end of my Japan trip…only Japanese streets look like that, I think. Hong Kong’s streets are more crowded than that and America likes their suburbia.

Of course, when you say hajimemashite (nice to meet you), someone’s gotta say it back, hence the reply.

Considering there are people all over the world watching the Idolish7 anime, I would say you are telling the world about I7, Riku.

Oh! Restart Pointer! There was an MV for that one…I think it was around the time Idolish7’s MVs started getting better.

So this is the context around the new outfits! Cool!

There have been way too many puns about “idol” being…y’know, “ai (love) doll” and stuff like that…

I have one Twitter person who I follow (DejiNyucu, part of the creative team for Autumn’s Journey) because I don’t get much I7 content and they keep mentioning this “Haruki” person…and suddenly a “Haruki the Betrayer” showed up in the graffiti…they might be the same person, I think. Not Deji, but Haruki. Update: Sakura Haruki, perhaps…?

Sougo’s such a bad liar…

Sometimes, the best way to deal with things is to be direct…(I’m not very good at that, I naturally talk in a very roundabout sort of way.)

Sougo with long hair like Yuki would be really pretty… (<- has an obvious thing for guys with long hair)

Idolish7 s2 12

Nagi’s stupid accent is generally what he’s best remembered for (for me), so seeing him speak normally, and do a press conference on top of that, is…impressive.

A kabedon on top of all this! Whoa!

Shibuya 109 parody…? (I’ve seen that once or twice – parodying that means people know their stuff about Shibuya.)

I think the “it’s overflowing!” is referring to the hype in the “room”.

…this dejected Momo is worrying…(well, he is worrying and I am worrying about him.)

Oh, I see. The person responsible typed the letter so that they couldn’t be traced back. Kind of like those old movies where the culprit would cut letters out of newspapers to make threat mail, but…with even less traces than that, because cutting letters out leaves evidence.

…wow, it took a while for this ep. to have an intro…

…LOL, I just spotted Kenjiro Tsuda cited as the “fake Zero”, meaning the real one might never show up this season.

There’s something really stupid and infectious about these managers’ enthusiasm for drinking energy drinks. It puts a goofy smile on my face.

Is Musubi Tsumugi’s mother…? Update: Yes, she is.

…Wait, so the Chiba Shizuo guy is actually important?!

Idolish7 s2 13

Whenever someone says “by the way”, it means they’re changing the subject. I hate to state to obvious, but Sougo is clearly deflecting the topic of conversation from being about him.

I wonder if this guy (Haw9) is the actual Zero graffiti vandal…?

Hmph, I didn’t realise Tenn doesn’t refer to Kujo-san as his father, but…like that (“Kujo-san”) instead.

Oh hey! These are shots from Vibrato!

Most dramas can be solved with the power of Good Communication. That includes this one.

I feel like “he has a dark side” describes both Tenn and Kujo-san.

“Everyone, remember to wash your hands and gargle thoroughly.” – This is always a good thing to remember in the time of ‘rona. Reminds me of Jakurai’s line in ARB (<- this game started just after the ‘rona came down).

What did Sougo go to uni for (what specialisation)?

Idolish7 s2 14

I just realised Banri calls Momo -kun. Hmm…

Denki = electricity, LOL.

I feel like Tenn is basically Ramuda, give or take actual pink hair…guys in musical groups with pre-existing angst that they become the “centre” of. The fact Fling Posse have Saito Soma and so do Trigger strengthens the connection.

I would watch the heck out of a musical like that! Make it come true, Idolish7! (Also, today is I7 day! I’m not much of an I7 fan outside the anime, but…that’s cool!)

That shot of them jumping! I remember seeing it on the official site before!

Idolish7 s2 15 (FINAL)

There you go! I was wondering where Banri’s injury was – that was the only bit that didn’t add up for him to be Yuki’s old partner.

Hmm…Momo is 4 years younger than Yuki but 2 years younger than Banri…

This episode has a real concert vibe to it, to the point where I got startled by how loud the yell was at one point. (Even if it is mostly stills.)

LOL, lookit Okazaki!

Apparently, if you’re a hako oshi, you like all the members of a group. Someone with a green light and a pink light likes both members of Re:vale.

LOL, Usagi for Asahi beer.

…I forgot Nagi is 19.

…Ooh, I think that’s the kid from ZOOL. No wonder they needed a season 3!

That’s all. See you next time!

SLS 2

“fine and upstanding person” – That’s…hard to believe, Hayato.

I wonder how many bois Toboso designed for SLS…?

…The episode title is actually “Blank”. Not “Break”.

One of the guys’ shirts says moteki on it. That’s a period in one’s life where one enjoys more romantic attention than usual, literally “popularity season”.

The subs missed an I, so initially I knew Kiriyama’s name as “Kiryama”.

There are meant to be 2 wings, right…?

“He who controls information controls everything, right?” – For once, I’m surprised Hayato is right (and not just in that smug way of his).

“…I’m being treated like a manager.” – But Hayato is a manager! (In a sense.)

The plait guy jumps to nicknames really fast…also, why do I get the feeling Maeshima will lose the key?

I hate to say this Maeshima, but I side with your childhood friend (Kiriyama) here. As much as the anime wants me to back you, I’m watching for everyone else at this point.

That blocky building looks pretty cool. I think Zel (Archi-Anime) would like it.

Sasugai’s setup looks pretty cool, including his chair.

…hmm, Maeshima’s like me in a sense. I learn best by copying others, but memory is my best asset. If I don’t regularly train the fundamentals, I suck at everything. That said, I don’t have an eidetic memory. Also, I didn’t quite figure out Ken = Ken(sei Maeshima) until I watched long enough to connect the dots.

LOL, Derry’s. (<- reminded of a word for “butt” <- derriere)

Well, the guy’s (Souta…?) shirt does say moteki…

Kiriyama kinda looks like Jyuto (HypMic), come to think of it…Right down to his angry streak (although Jyuto has a reputation to keep as a “cool dude”, while Kiriyama is more of a Manza (Boueibu HK) and he’s more angry than he looks).

…This ED is nothing special.

…Hmm? Is that a small Terauchi and Maeshima…?

I think I’m sold for now, but I’m rooting for the other team, not Maeshima’s…not yet, anyways.

[albyfm]

˙✫*ﾟ YUNGBLUD  ,  DEMIBOY  ,  HE/THEY  :･ did  you  hear  alby miller  is  joining  the  cast  of  exposed  after  their habit of facilitating drugs at events, festivals & awards shows  was  revealed  ?  the  twenty-three  year  old  bass guitarist  with 500k followers is  trying  to  clear  their  name  .  they've  become  known  as  the  resident  juvenile  in  the  mansion  ,  and  it's  clear  that's  spot  on  because  they're  quite -  recalcitrant & -  stuck in their ways ,  but  also +  charismatic &  +  outspoken .  you  know  they're  heading  to  the  confession  booth  if  you  hear  lonely boy  by  the black keys  blasting  ,  most  likely  talking  about  how  they're  more  than disheveled outfits of black leather & denim, talking way too candidly to the press, smashed lenses of paparazzi cameras that got too close, an unmistakable mischievous grin & an inability to express real feelings.

hey !! finally getting around to posting this. you can call me aries, i’m 23 and in the bst ( uk ) timezone. my pronouns are she / her. i’m a little lost art school grad with a lot of student debt, a taste for red wine and an unhealthy obsession with arctic monkeys. not gonna lie, i whipped this kiddo up specifically for this rp so i’m still getting used to them, but hopefully with this intro you’ll get a feel for what they’re about. without further ado, here’s alby—

trigger warnings & disclaimer: mentions of hard drugs, alcohol, anger issues, destructive tendencies. my intention writing this intro was not to glamorize or romanticize these things in any way but if anything i have written comes across that way, please lmk!

smash that ♡ to plot or hit me up on discord @ chaotic aries#5793 !!

‘and this is how it starts...’ ( the basics )

name: alby fox miller age: twenty-three gender: non-binary ( demi-boy ) pronouns: he / him & they / them date of birth: may 24th 1997 zodiac: gemini sun, pisces moon, aries rising orientation: pansexual occupation: bassist for drive like i do career claim: ross macdonald ( the 1975 ) genre: alt-pop, pop-rock

‘it’s the way we are, we were smoking by eleven & knocking ‘round town...’ ( background )

you’re born in 1997, in the north west of england. wilmslow, to be exact. a quaint and affluent town, just south of manchester. the family you’re born into is a comfortable one. not quite living lavishly, but not at all struggling, either. your parents both work in business out in the city. you go to a good school. but... all is not how you exactly want it to be.

see, your parents are quite pushy. they expect you to live how they want, rather than how you do. at the all boy’s academy they enroll you in as a teenager, they expect you to pick what they deem as intellectual subjects, such as foreign languages, further mathematics and computer science. there’s a focus on you becoming someone that makes a lot of money, rather than someone who is happy.

but you’re... not the kind of person that can be molded so easily. you’re a fairly happy-go-lucky kid, but also a rebellious one. your parents’ strict ways of trying to force you down their chosen path, only encourages you more heavily to choose your own. 

at fourteen, you meet the guys. lennox, jovi & jasper. they’re some of the only kids at school who can be bothered to be around you, with your high energy and bolshy attitude. really, they’re the only people who embrace you for who you are. they encourage your weirdness and outspokenness. it’s not long before you find yourself wanting to do everything together. it’s not long before the four of you are inseparable.

from there, you fully detach from everything your parents want you to be. you embrace your individuality. you also find the courage and bravery to come out to your parents as non-binary at the age of sixteen. there’s not a single person’s opinion that you’re afraid of, or even care about. 

it’s not all rainbows & sunshine, though. you struggle somewhat with anger issues, and a bit of depression. you’re also practically addicted to getting into trouble: picking fights with bullies at school, selling weed & pills to your friends around town, underaged drinking... you get the gist. though you keep your fears internal, you sometimes worry you’ll get nowhere in life.

so of course, the second the boys are talking about starting a band, you’re all in. imagine if you made it big someday? wouldn’t that be sick? you’re immediately drawn to bass guitar, and use a month’s worth of saved up pocket money to pick one up from the big music store in the city. thankfully, you pick it up quite quickly, because before you can even realize it, things are getting so... real. by sixteen, you don’t feel you have the option to stick around at school for sixth form, because drive like i do is already playing local venues and working on its first album.

you’re just seventeen when the album is released. somehow, the climb to fame is faster than you could have ever imagined. it seems like yesterday you were still watching bass tutorials on youtube in your bedroom and practicing in your friend’s garage after school. first is some notoriety across the uk, but before you know it — boom! global stardom. the fame is a heavy weight for someone so young to carry... but fuck it, it’s gonna be fun, and you know it.

you’re twenty-three now, and days are gone of pipedreams formed in your parent’s shoebox room. you split your time between manchester, london, and LA — and that’s just during rare moments of downtime from your world tours. your band is 4 albums in, and whoever hasn’t heard of you might as well have been living under a rock. is it narcissistic to think like that? maybe, but you don’t care. this is rock n’ roll, baby. this is the life.

naturally, all eyes are mostly on your very outspoken frontman. he’s controversial, but the media can’t get enough of him. as for you? to them, you’re... the band’s problem child. while you argue that your behavior is no different than that of your friend, he’s got the lead singer charm. they don’t seem to like you as much. why? well...

‘drink, fall, spew...’ ( troublesome tendencies & exposed secret )

you never really coped as well as you acted like you did, did you? while you were grateful for the fame, everything was... a lot, and it was all at once. you didn’t even get the chance to process it. 

take four twenty-somethings and add constant prying journalists, paparazzi, and constantly full schedules into the mix. and why not pepper in some typical rockstar vices, too? alcohol, drugs, parties, throwaway sex. things are destined to get a little rocky. though you tried at first not to show it to your fans, your destructive behavior soon got the better of you, and you became known to drunkenly lash out at paps, smash cameras and storm out of interviews when the questions got too personal. 

this all came to a head when you were caught on camera several times distributing acid tabs, cocaine and mdma at events, music festivals & awards shows. the press gave the band a pretty bad time over this, and given the other members’ controversies and lennon’s similar link to drugs, it wasn’t a good look for any of you. 

it didn’t matter that you had a side to you that was good, pure. that you were always kind and loving and down-to-earth towards your fans and friends. you were a bad seed, and you wound up on exposed with the rest of your bandmates. hopefully you can prove there’s more to you than what the media shows...

‘oh & you say, i’m such a cliche...’ ( personality )

immm gonna rush thru this section & write less formally bc those other parts too me WAY too long

basically a literal toddler. loves a laugh, loves a good time, but get on his bad side and he WILL throw a tantrum

it’s mainly people like press & paps he lets his anger out on. the band’s fans and people he’s close with on a personal level know he’s a good person underneath it all

loves a bit of mischief / rebellion / drama

king of hiding insecurities....

literal softie.... like... who allowed this binch to be so soft. he’s so open about how much he loves his friends (particularly his bandmates) and will platonically kiss and hug and love people all the time, particularly on the show bc he’s trying to show the cameras his softer side dfjghdfdfg

so excitable like WHERE does this kid get all his energy...

( tw drugs ) will probably struggle a bit on the show without access to drugs, but ( tw addiction mention ) he has never really been addicted or dependent on them, just a frequent user.

outspoken as fuck, has no filter sometimes oops

very flamboyant, in line with the general aesthetic of his band but also on a personal level. sports a kind of soft gothic/punk/early 2000s emo look. always paints his nails and wears makeup etc

sleeps around a lot but has never really been able to find a lasting relationship, has just had a bunch of short-lived flings???? but lowkey develops crushes at the drop of a hat and would love to properly fall in love with someone who could be with him forever & accept him for all his flaws, but he highly doubts that will ever happen fgjdhsfg

‘why don’t you figure my heart out?...’ ( wanted connections )

exes on good terms

exes on bad terms ( maybe someone who actually really wanted to stay with him but couldnt deal with his bullshit and now resents him? )

 someone who loves the band’s music & inflates his ego ab it

 someone he hasn’t seen for years that he’s reunited on the show & maybe they’re revisiting old feelings for each other??? and he wants it to be DIFFERENT this time but also theres shit tons of fucking cameras and shit which... makes things difficult...

first friend he made in LA or in the states in general, someone who showed him the ropes

someone who hates him / hates the band like PLEASE

and also just a straight up enemy maybe?? someone who finds him annoying as fuck??

FRIENDS!!!

literally anything just hmu and lay an idea on me and theres 90% chance ill be down

[rkjinwook]

• • •  STARTING LIVE!

       02AUG2020  |   🐥 JINWOOK’S HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳 🥳        DURATION   |   1:02:22

it’s a cute set, albeit typical for this kind of broadcast. the staff have provided jinwook with a fixed camera framing his mini birthday table, complete with multicolored balloons decorating the back wall. there’s a small tablet to monitor the stream and comment feed, which jinwook fiddles with as he waits. in retrospect, he thinks it would’ve been nicer to hold a more casual conversation with fans for his first solo live, but that might just be the nerves talking.

he fills the silence with music, his guitar in his lap. it’s an everyday sight, but jinwook realizes most fans won’t have heard him play much, so he takes care to warm up cleanly, and warm up his vocals too. he only alternates between a few simple chords, though. it’s the sort of background music he used to hear when he’d occasionally attend church services with eve. as jinwook plays he imagines an audience quietly filing in, taking their seats at his birthday party as they each receive the live notification. finally the staff motions for jinwook that the actual video is starting, and he rests the instrument in his lap, out of view for now.

“hello! i’m convex’s sunshine, jinwook.” the greeting is bright and familiar as he dips his head toward the camera. it’s unlikely that the viewers, who arrived so early from a notification, don’t know his name, but it can’t hurt to start off formally. “today is my birthday! yay!!” also evident from the title and the backdrop. jinwook gives himself a round of applause anyway. then he picks up a party hat from the table and slips the cone over his head. “tada~” 

“since we can’t meet in person, i wanted to greet you all with a live today to celebrate.” there’s a pause as jinwook adjusts the thin elastic of the party hat. he takes a breath. “last year, hmm...” he taps a finger to his cheek as he thinks back. “oh, last year i made cupcakes! i was helping our team sphere on the mgas.. so i couldn’t meet consta that time, either.” jinwook hums in thought, suddenly a bit nostalgic about his time as a coach. he shakes his head. “so i’m excited to try this out now.”

“let’s see...” he says, quickly moving on, “is everyone settling in here alright?” he peers over the tablet and rests a finger over the chat to pause its scrolling speed. the amount of viewers is staggering and the number only keeps rising, but jinwook focuses on the individual users sending messages instead. it’s a relief to see the majority in his native language. “hello and hello and hello,” he says, reading off a string of usernames and greeting each one individually, “and thank you for coming, and thank you for coming, and thank you for coming~!”

when jinwook releases his finger from the screen, the chat jumps back to life, shifting too quickly to read. he frowns and tries to pause it again. it takes some concentration to read off the unusual username combinations, but he does his best.

💬  :  happy bday 🥳 🥳 🥳 💬  :  you look handsome!!! 💬  :  happy birthday oppa~ 💬  :  thank you for being born 💖🎁🎁 💬  :  bare faced jinwook is the best!

“ah, thank you~ hello!! thank you too~ thank you for being by my side! oh! this one...” jinwook is startled into a laugh at the last comment, bringing a hand over his mouth. when he drops his hand he shows his full face to the camera, grinning. “this is definitely not bare faced jinwook, but, still i appreciate you thinking so~”

as he tries to keep reading, he tilts his head and squints. many of the messages are just full of celebrating emoji or animated emotes. it’s less to parse, but more noise to sort through. “ah, so much emoji in chat, you all must’ve learned from me, huh...” he muses.

after another minute he leans back again, his nerves settled. well, jinwook’s never had much trouble even talking to himself, so it shouldn’t surprise him that speaking to a bustling chat window comes naturally, too.

💬  :  did you have a good day so far?

“i’m happy today!” jinwook answers confidently. “my grandmother always wakes up early on sunday mornings, so i called her on the way to practice! and later tonight i’m going to video call with my family. actually i told my sister what time i was going live, so she might be listening too?” jinwook squints back down at the tablet and bites his lower lip. “ah, the chat is going way too fast to tell...”

💬  :  where are the other members!!

“hmm, training?” jinwook grins. “i’m taking a break to talk for right now~ but we are all working very hard otherwise!” he shares another smile, proud of himself for not mentioning anything further - although if his eyes sparkle, he can’t be held responsible. “they might stop by at the end!”

“that reminds me!” jinwook reaches below the table for his bag, pulling out a fresh journal that jaehyun had gifted him in the morning. he holds it up for the camera, proudly showing off the nice foil accents and the fold-out attachment. “my roommate, haru, got me this really pretty notebook. it’s supposed to work as a real midi keyboard.” jinwook’s runs his fingers over the cover. “he has good timing since i am almost out of pages in my old notebook... i’m excited to use it.”

💬  :  oppa’s hair is cool today!

“my hair, ah..” jinwook reaches absently to touch it, pleased. “it grew!” it’s worn longer than it was for pretty u era, freshly dyed and parted down the middle. he’s lucky he’s even allowed to have it showing for the live right now, since it’s a similar shade to his old cut. “i’m kind of happy, since it feels healthy recently...” he chuckles a little, the compliment leading him to another train of thought.

“speaking of cool, consta, did you guys see our call me baby special stage last week?” jinwook looks up to the camera and leans in, curious. “the concept was slightly darker for us, since unit black is so, you know... cool.” jinwook gestures vaguely but laughs at the understatement. it’s not a big enough word to describe some of the biggest superstars in the industry. “we have songs like rock but it’s different from convex‘s usual image, maybe,” he adds thoughtfully, knowing full well that their next comeback is inching in that direction. “do you think we suited it well?”

💬  :  convex is cool too!

jinwook nods, pleased by the positive responses in the chat. “so it was okay, then?” he laughs a little because of course, they’re all biased fans and he asked for it on his birthday, but it’s still reaffirming. “mmm, it still felt a bit refreshing and funky like convex, too. so i think there can be a middle ground,” he says, as if simply imagining how things could evolve in the future. “something smooth like that stage?”

something smooth. jinwook’s thinking of crazy in love, specifically, but the title song itself is an even bigger departure from their pretty u sound and aesthetic. “ah..” he shakes his head with a sheepish grin, “i think i’m rambling a lot.” jinwook takes a dramatic deep breath and collects his thoughts.

then he shifts away from the tablet to pull up the guitar in his lap. “i wanted to answer a lot of messages, but i actually prepared a song for you, too.” he strums a bright chord for emphasis. “it’s nothing fancy but i thought consta would maybe enjoy something like this. so i don’t have to sing happy birthday to myself, or anything,” he jokes.

🎵  :  heartz / minhee&luda — i’ll be there

“this is one of my favorite songs recently! i thought it would be nice for our fans, too.” it’d been an easy choice when jinwook was preparing for this stream. it’s a recent sphere release, plus he’s been listening to and singing the song since it came out, so he already knew most of the words. still, jinwook pulls up the lyrics on the tablet just in case. since he frames it as a fan song, there’s no need to change the gendered parts, although he doesn’t think he would have bothered, either way. 

jinwook only slows the tempo and lowers the key slightly to fit his guitar and his voice. the song has a different energy with an acoustic guitar instead of the bouncy synths, but it’s just as sweet and upbeat. he takes his time, singing all the way through both verses and two choruses. 

just before the bridge, jinwook trails off with a little smile. “ah, i just practiced up until here so far...” he keeps strumming idly as he leans over the tablet again. the comments flood with cheers that jinwook only can read some pieces of. it feels good, though, and jinwook feels confident about the vibe.

he watches several prying questions about heartz fly by in response, and carefully doesn’t acknowledge any of them. “of course i’ve been cheering for heartz,” is all he says. “i really liked around you and vivid also! and i’m excited for the next singles released this week, too.”

💬  :  please a convex song next!!

“oh,” he says, “a convex song?” jinwook takes a break, first, to roll out his wrists. then he hums in thought, searching for something he could play on the spot. “do you remember this one?”

🎵  :  convex — 20

he transitions into a familiar guitar intro. long-time fans might recognize it as the vocal unit song from convex’s debut album, but jinwook is pleased to introduce it to anyone else who’s unfamiliar. personally, he thinks it has held up pretty well over the past two years. “shh—” he mimics the sharp first line, then smiles as he continues strumming and begins to sing.

the song proves difficult to solo, and jinwook wishes he’d thought to prepare more material ahead of time. a medley could’ve been nice, but with all of the comeback preparations going on..... instead jinwook giggles as he trips over the lyrics, attempting the first verse’s backing and lead vocals both together. “hm..” he mumbles, glancing up at the camera. he casually redoes the section to make a decent recovery, and the chorus soars as intended. 

“ah...” says jinwook wistfully after he eases to a stop, “i’ll have to come back to that one someday. that one is nice to sing to consta, too. i always liked the lyrics a lot. you’re my twenties~”

he taps his fingers against the body of the guitar and is reminded of the special day. “but today my twenties are officially half-over, aren’t they? wah... scary....”

twenty-five. he stares blankly toward the tablet, thinking he should follow up: then i’ll just spend the second half of my twenties with consta!

these days, though, it feels like an unfair promise to make.

💬  :  like a gorilla like a gorilla!

his eye catches on one of the suggestions breezing down the chat window, and it interrupts his brooding with a burst of laughter. “gorilla? de:code’s gorilla?” he repeats. he tries a few chords but they’re not in the right key, and jinwook grins as he puts away his guitar on its stand. “i don’t know, that one would be an interesting acoustic cover.” he sings a little phrase of it anyway, a random adlib from the ending: “girl you make me feel~!”

“but!” he points a finger at the camera, not wanting his opinions to be twisted. “maybe one day i could cover their song beautiful, or i’m fine from predebut!”

💬  :  what are you listening to recently?

“hmm... what is new?” jinwook absently adjusts his elastic party hat elastic and pulls out his phone. “i like lee hi’s holo! per_se have a nice summer album.. with o sole mio, and of course...” jinwook hits a pretty falsetto as he opens the music app: “this is how i feel about you, twilight~”

“it’s like twilight, yeah~” he flicks through his playlist and wonders if he should just share screenshots of the whole thing on fancafe. “ah, and eclipse’s comeback!” he adds. “look, isn’t the album cover pretty?” his screen is probably illegible, when he holds it up close to show the camera, but at least his enthusiasm is clear. “i like their night side the best, with that unique rock sound...” jinwook pauses, and reconsiders. “actually, navillera was totally my style, too.” he shakes his head and grins. “eclipse is definitely cool no matter what.”

💬  :  it is already 4 in the morning here why 😭

english. jinwook has glazed over every message in foreign languages but he laughs at this one. he trips over a stilted reading of the comment, and quickly switches back to korean to answer. “i’m sorry ahh, next time i have to think of different timezones, right?” he tilts his head. “mm, it seems impossible to find a good time for everyone all around the world? but i’m happy you could visit with me for even a little bit. please make sure to rest well~” as an afterthought, he finishes in english: “and goodnight~”

💬  :  can you show a rap verse? 

“rapping?” jinwook’s eyes light up at the suggestion, and he laughs out loud. “can i tell a secret?” it’s not the right question to ask, judging by the staff’s reaction. but jinwook leans in sneakily, and continues despite their concerned looks. “we tried to switch parts for adore u once, so i learned seungcheol’s rap! that choi seungcheol,” he says with a grin, “has pretty good expressions on stage these days... his parts are fun! i like practicing his pretty u verse, too.”

he tells the story casually, although that part switch was not just boredom in the practice rooms, but an official planned anniversary release. that weekend in incheon is still a fond memory despite the disappointment of never getting to see the final edit.

he rolls his shoulders. “anyway, i don’t have the nice low voice for it, but there is a little melody to his parts a lot of the time...” jinwook postures up for full effect and puts on his best rapper expression. “how can you dazzle so much? you’re so pretty it’s—”

it’s probably for the best that he is interrupted by a loud knock and a rowdy chorus of happy birthday starting right outside the door.

➡️  :  continued in part two...