#it's a self-soothing technique

[mars-ipan]

overcoming anxiety (through practicing the things that scare you) is so interesting. i used to be horrified of taking up space or alerting other people of my presence. now i'm compelled to tell strangers i like their outfits or hair or earrings- on bad days i tell maybe a quarter of them. do i still overthink it? absolutely. but i call attention to myself to tell someone else my opinion. and with the way they tend to smile and tell me "thank you!" i'm pretty sure it's taken to heart.

i used to be horrified of making phone calls as well. this is one i'm still getting over- i just Don't Like Doing It. i used to have a phone call routine that i still joke about- realize i need to call someone, cry, avoid it for a few days, suck it up, write a script, memorize the script, cry again, final script read, make the call with the script in front of me. and i would be Exhausted by the end of it. i don't cry when i need to call people anymore. i'm even needing scripts less and less- i've found out that people actually won't kill me if i talk a little too fast or stumble on my words. i doubt i'll ever like making phone calls- i especially hate robots (i'm afraid they'll mishear me and direct me wrong or a person will suddenly show up and i won't be prepared)- but i can make them now.

i get overwhelmed really easy. just a thing that happens to me. my brain is really really good at taking one task and breaking it up into thousands of little tasks and it feels like i'm drowning. if i try to make it fewer larger tasks then it starts to feel insurmountable. i was completely lost on how to deal with this (other than avoid until you get that panic attack and can do work in the post-catharsis calm until 6:00 AM) until one night when my dad (who i often meet late at night due to overlapping mental illness symptoms) asked me how to eat an elephant. i looked at him, confused, and he said "one bite at a time." that was way more effective than any other analogy i've seen has been. "light at the end of a tunnel"- i don't feel like i'm moving forward, i feel like i'm scaling a wall. "steps on a trail"- i can see my destination, but it feels impossible to move forward. but eating an elephant? that sums it up perfectly. this huge task which seems impossible at a glance. but it must be done. so you eat the elephant, a bite at a time. every time i'm overwhelmed i repeat that phrase to myself. it hasn't made any major changes yet, but it keeps me calm enough to start before i hit the panic attack, which i'll take.

i was such a perfectionist growing up- i actually thought it was a good thing (school always taught me to strive for perfection). but it made me scared to try new things- if i wasn't immediately good at them, then it clearly wasn't for me. i'm still not great at starting new hobbies, but i try a lot of new things within the hobbies i already have. i test out different ways of making art, i try new puzzle games i don't understand, etc. and the feeling of steady improvement reminds me that i don't need to be good right away. some of the most satisfying moments don't come from immediately being good- they come from achieving that skill over time. i'd like to try to learn to sew soon.

idk it's interesting. i rewire my own brain's fear response by doing the Horrifying Thing enough times for me to understand that no i will not die. and while i'm doing it it feels like nothing is changing. i get so stressed every time- it can actually take a lot out of me (turns out fight-or-flight burns a lot of energy). but i look back at then vs. now and i realize how far i've come, and i can't help but think "huh. neat"

[the-force-awakens]

#cutest pilot in the resistance

[pollsnatural]

[domesticatedangel]

misha collins is so adorable 20+ years as an actor and he still radiates nervous energy anytime he does something public facing

[aardvaark]

is it the trauma or am i autistic: a question for the ages

[merlions]

Just tonight finally getting around to watching the new Dune - I was waiting cause some small part of me thought I'd be able to actually finish the book this time, but I finally have to admit defeat like the last time I tried.

Always been SO baffling to me how everyone seems to regard it on the same level as other sci fi novels, like Tolkien. I ate Tolkien for breakfast at 24 years old where I struggled with it even at 17, and since I first tried Dune at 14 I thought it might be the same principle, but I couldn't even get through the *audiobook* of Dune at 25 without like terrible headaches from just being so. Fucking. Confused.

Specifically the names! Not just names of people, but also titles and places etc etc etc.

Anyways while watching this I realized my problem FINALLY, and realized that I've been like imposter syndroming myself into believing I don't have mild color-grapheme synesthesia.

Dune is literally confusing to me JUST because A's and H's and K's are really similar colors to each other for me (arrakis, atreides, harkonen, kwisatz haderach etc (...i had to look up all those names cause i literally couldnt remember them as im watching the damn movie lmfao)) and they're also really similar to the color of the desert on the book cover, all like shades of red, some of which become oranges with the rest of the word. So reading the book to me is like. Every time a name comes up I am staring at a block of sandstone. Trying to pick one color out of the multitude of nearly-identical hues.

Which makes sense I guess why it's so frustrating to read, but also is a fascinating, COMPLETELY new insight as to how I read books or read/hear words in general. Like...it never occurred to me that that was the problem cause I genuinely didn't know I primarily use color to tell people/words apart.

I've always been a "speed reader", like is that just bc I identify a word and its color, and then every time it reoccurs I just notice the color and then mentally fill in meaning instead of reading the word again?

What implications does this have. I know color grapheme is the most common form of synesthesia, is it common to have problems reading like I have with Dune, or do people with it find themselves reading faster because of it? I heard it's supposed to be distracting but except in very specific cases, like Dune, it seems to specifically be helpful and clarifying? And like I find myself never going out of my way to get certain colors of things, but always ending up with that specific color of thing - ex. I never try to buy red backpacks but at one point I noticed every backpack I've ever owned in my entire life has been red. Have I been leaving myself messages. Have I been receiving messages from the Spice. Spice must flow. Spice must flow

[strayheartless]

“Hi flo, what are you up to?”

Oh you know playing Kingdom Hearts and crying, you know the usual. Except, exciting development, the crying is unrelated to kingdom hearts this time!

[mo-ok]

🖤 Change Griffon: A Summary 🖤

[babybearnini]

For the past few weeks it's just been go to work, come home and cry, go to therapy rinse and repeat

[colorsinautumn]

.

[midnight-mod]

Funniest out of context exchange of my teaching career so far was probably

*to a child throwing a tantrum*

“THATS IT. You’re going UNDER THE PILLOWS.”

“NO! I DONT WANT TO!”

“You are LISTENING. You will GO to the LIBRARY and I am going to COVER YOU in PILLOWS.”

“FINE!!!”

…

…

“Better?”

“Yeah :)”

[oenilloc]

«Центрация, прийти в себя за 40 секунд» - Это инструмент для гармонизации внутреннего состояния.

Как часто мы живем в спешке, интернет и жизнь, все становится слишком скоростным, это так же может быть связано с работой, семьей, друзьями и социальной активностью. Иногда мы не успеваем за всеми своими делами и наше эмоциональное состояние начинает нести нас на своих волнах. В такие моменты нам нужно быстро прийти в ресурсное, сильное и гармоничное состояние. Именно для этого было создано 5 видео роликов, соответствующих различным циркадным ритмам.

В каждом из этих видео определенные аудио частоты и визуально-цветовые спектры, чтобы помочь вам выбрать подходящий ролик для вашего настроения и времени суток. РАССВЕТ, ПОЛДЕНЬ, ВЕЧЕР, НОЧЬ и ГЛУБОКАЯ НОЧЬ - в каждом из этих времен мы можем настроить свою энергию на ступень сопряженную с циркадным ритмом. Например, утренний ролик с более высокими частотами и заряжен цветами солнца - дает возможность откалибровать день с энергией и уверенностью. А вечером, теплые приглушенные и низкие частоты могут помочь успокоить наш разум и подготовить наш организм к отдыху.

Для качественной гармонизации внутреннего состояния в видео используется техника центрации, одного качественного глубокого вдоха задержки дыхания и выдоха.

Центрирование позволяет сосредоточиться, успокоиться и прийти в гармонию с окружающим миром. Центрирование - это процесс настройки энергии и концентрации на своих целях. Техника центрации позволяет быстро и эффективно прийти в себя (к себе настоящему) в течение всего 40 секунд.

Таким образом, ролики помогают быстро и легко прийти в гармонию, сосредоточение и силу в любое время суток. Это простой и удобный способ обрести внутреннюю гармонию и осознаться за считанные секунды. Почувствовать силу и уверенность в любой ситуации.

_______________

Video & Sound Design:

👽 Oenilloc

🔻linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/oenilloc

[lover-boy-vs-humanity]

Panic Intervention

Grounding Statements

When I'm having a panic attack, I usually get into a disaster mindset I can't calm down from. One thing that helps is making a template for self-grounding, which takes some of the pressure off bringing myself back to baseline. Here's mine!

my name is...

right now i am (location) and i'm safe in this moment because...

i live at...as of (move-in date).

i'm safe at home because...

i attend school/work at...i'm a (grade level/job title).

in practice: my name is julian. right now i'm in the restroom at a restaurant and i'm safe right now because my friends are outside. i live in an independent living program as of december 2022. i'm safe at home because everyone there is really nice to me. i attend high school as a junior.

This is something you can and should switch up as needed - it's supposed to bring you back to the present moment however works best for you! This template is what helps me as a foster kid with home instability, hence the emphasis on safety where I am and in my home :) Since I have this prepared, all I have to do is repeat these statements from where they're written down. I like keeping it open ended (the ... parts) so I have to think about it a little and therefore really process what I'm reading and saying.

Soothing Statements

Once I've calmed down a bit, I find it helpful to "assess the damage", and do something easy to clean up - look to the future and see what I can do to move forward.

one thing i'm grateful for is...

one thing i have to look forward to is...

one thing i can do today to feel less overwhelmed tomorrow is...

one thing i can schedule in the next week to help me feel better is...(hangout with friends or family/therapy/self-care appointments)

[okkotsd]

twirls  hair,  so  there’s  this  sorcerer   (  and his sense of self is lacking,  it’s humble,  quiet,   modest at best.   he isn’t  like  the other special grades.  he isn’t ruled by ambition or any grand godly vision for the world,   he isn’t a natural disaster.   not like sukuna,  not even like gojo on the opposite end of that spectrum.   his perception of his own identity isn’t heightened through a disregard for others,   actually  . . . . .  it’s molded and conceived and enforced on the basis of the exact opposite.   yuuta   &.   the  “ no bitches ? :( ”  meme rlly doing god’s work speaking volumes on his rationalization,   the  honesty  in his inability to comprehend or sympathize with anyone doing  so  much  for something as little as just them alone.   for the people he cared about,  he’s been a tipping point in a war he didn’t understand.  for gojo and the other students,  he’s doing it all over again.   an   ‘i  can,  therefore  i  must'   type deal. )

[lighthouse-system]

Celebrating bc I think I helped to self-soothe before a split happened in the system.

[thekidsarentalright]

love being in a mentally ill mood and just revolving my scrimbly's around in my mind to make me feel better <3