#dissociative identity disorder stuff.

[lighthouse-system]

Ok, I feel kinda confident in sharing it officially.

So, I started working on a website a while ago that is meant to be a compartmentalised journalling service. The goal is to increase communication between alters in a system.

The main feature is how each alter gets their own space to write, and then there's a "Communal Journal" that's open to everyone in the system to use. Users can use it as a bulletin board, as a diary that everyone contributes to, whatever suits you and your system. Lighthouse also supports multiple systems for one user.

There's also pages to log about your inner world, post system rules/internal boundaries, and any wishes or goals alters may want to achieve. You can even set what terms are used in place of "alter" and "system".

At some point, there will also be interactive worksheets that are usually used for DID or C-PTSD to also use if one so chooses.

My system leaves updates on @lighthouse-app (also posted on the info section)! But feel free to send an ask either there or here if you need help or have a question!

*Lighthouse was not developed by a medical professional, and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition.

Also-- We do not want to gatekeep who can and cannot use this. If this method of journalling is effective for you, than by all means use it! There will be no public sharing of profiles, alters, or messaging between users, so everything is private.

[stu-speaks]

Stu's Affirmations- On DID/OSDD/Trauma

Putting this in the DID tags if other systems need it. Just know that I preach peace and love between other parts in my system, so some reminders may not be applicable. Please do not be disrespectful on this post.

Quoting another post on here: "There is no minimum amount of suffering before you are allowed to want to alleviate it." Original Post.

My trauma(s) did not make me stronger, and I'm not obligated to anyone to act like it did. It hurt me, and I did not deserve or ask for it. It was not my fault.

If I have to ask "Was it traumatic enough?" the answer is a most likely "yes". I would not need to ask otherwise.

My trauma is not "cringe" or "embarrassing" and even if it is "cringe", it does not nullify the pain it caused.

I am safe to ask for help.

I am safe to let others near me.

No matter what abusers and persecutory parts have said, I am worthy of love, tenderness, and comfort.

Silence internally does not mean I have been faking DID/OSDD. (If anything, it likely means I'm dissociating more!)

Clarity on memories previously forgotten does not mean I am faking DID/OSDD. (That's likely some dissociation subsiding.)

I am not required to be wildly different and separate from my parts to be a "valid" or "acceptable" system.

I am the sum of my parts. I am the love between me and my parts.

No matter what, my system loves me even if tensions are high.

I am strong and resilient, but I do not need to be these things all the time.

Not being able to recall the trauma in vivid detail doesn't mean it didn't happen. Not being able to recall most or any of it aside from feelings doesn't mean it didn't happen.

When all else fails, my inner world is a safe space for myself. I am entitled to comfort in my inner world.

I deserve a say in what the system does as much as any other part, host included.

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

[collectivewarmth]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[thechanglingsystem]

I made a system blog :)

[reimeichan]

PSA: If you are using Pluralkit or Tubberbox, go save your avatar files NOW.

Discord has been implementing a feature where direct links to images uploaded to Discord will no longer work after 24 hours. If you want more information, please check out this post by twilight-sparkle-irl. As Pluralkit and Tubberbox both use the direct links for images uploaded to discord for member avatars, this will likely affect these two bots.

I've talked to the Pluralkit devs and they have informed me that Pluralkit and Tubberbox devs are in talks with Discord to see how this will affect the bots. No updates as of yet but once I hear anything I'll update this post.

In the meanwhile, I highly suggest everyone to save alter avatars if they can. I'll be providing a link to an external tool that you can use in the reblogs of this post.

UPDATE: One of the helpers/mods for Pluralkit/Tupperbox has made a post about the situation. I definitely recommend people to read it when they can. If Tumblr breaks the link, I have a reblogged version of this post with the link there.

[rin-and-jade]

Heres a reminder for you that being dissociated isn't limited to the common misconception where you are frozen in place, incapable of doing anything or even thinking, or experiencing a significant time gap,, those things. (This is a very important post, read till bottom so im happy!)

And while its hard to spot the milder signs when you're dissociating, don't worry i got you covered by bringing awareness, im showing what those signs could look like:

Dazing/blanking out several times

Hands looking weird (depersonalization)

Surroundings also looking weird (derealization)

Feeling detached emotionally, physically, or both

Light-headedness

Less reactive in responding

Forget things more often

Unable to focus or keep concentration straight

And many more..!

When you have multiple of those signs at once, then chances are you are dissociating (extra note that it can also co-occur with derealization/depersonalization). While it can be caused by various factors, i would like to add that it may or may not get worse as time passes and no one wants that thing to snowball until it got too bad (remember, preventing now is better than dealing later) so having a few tips would help:

Grounding (sensory): listening to music, feeling different textures, paying attention to things in your surroundings, trying different fragrant or scents, have some snacks to occupy your senses

Grounding (physically): feel your chest as you breathe, get your body moving to redirect focus, splash some cold water, hold something you can squeeze (such as a stress ball)

Practice being mindful. As it can help you re-anchor back to reality faster, regulate better, building more resilience, increasing awareness of oneself's state

Sometimes we go do our day without giving a thought that were detached from reality, usually by going autopilot and scrolling through social medias without being aware (well, atleast for me) and forget lots of things while being dysregulated at the end. So by being aware of the mild signs and incorporating grounding skills im sure memory gaps and those funny aftermath stuffs won't be a problem anymore, have a good day peeps.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that another sign is your hearing feels muffled, that you can hear sounds feel more distant despite close, i thought it could be grouped with the “less reactive” before.

EDIT 2: It is true that sometimes these techniques will not work,, so it's recommended to create a peaceful environment in hopes of going away sooner when waiting it out. grab some videos to watch, put some of your favorite musics or cuddle your soft pillows (if any, pets) and stay comfy! Do not stress about it because it'll be counterproductive. Full explanation at here.

- j

[enchantingducktheorist]

"my brain said"

Translation: an alter said something funny that I must share with you

[littlest-bugz]

When you’re mid sentence and suddenly forget literally everything you were talking about

[lighthouse-system]

I finally figured out the answer when people ask, “Doesn’t childhood amnesia scare you?”

What you forget, you rarely think about. When people reflect on their favourite toys when they were 6, it rarely occurs to me that I was also 6 at one point.

[stu-speaks]

Stu's Reminders- On Autism

A Very Certain Someone in the system struggles with our autism diagnosis, so I'm putting these affirmations here.

Autism gives me the ability to see the world in a new way, and solve problems that neurotypicals haven't been able to.

Autism gives me passion, a desire to learn, and a love for research.

Autism does not make me less deserving of human needs. I am not lesser than my neurotypical peers.

The world desperately needs Autistic people. The world wants me here, and needs my unique contributions and effect on it.

The hateful rhetoric that scares me is a loud minority. Humans are not inherently hateful.

Autism gives me unique strengths beyond problem-solving and what can be gained monetarily by those strengths.

Because I am just as deserving of support as my neurotypical peers, I am allowed to ask for help when I need it.

I love my Autistic friends, loved ones, and peers. I must extend that love to myself as well.

Just like how others exercise patience when understanding me and my needs, I will do the same for others.

Others want to hear me talk and be happy, no matter what. Autism and my limited interests do not make me automatically annoying.

Autism does not mean I lack empathy and understanding of others. Quite the opposite actually.

I am allowed to stim. That includes rocking, squealing, flapping, and any other "socially unacceptable" stims. I take care of my needs in ways that do not hurt others.

I need not hide my Autism or the real me to suit a hypothetically unaccepting audience. I deserve to be my true, authentic self like everyone else in this world, and that's what my loved ones want, too.

More to come? -Stu

[drakesvalley]

The wildest part about being a system and having known you are a system for a while (6+ years for us) HAS to be seeing people who are just figuring it out fall into holes that you've long left behind.

Like. Yeah. We also thought we needed to keep tabs on everyone to increase communication. In the end it became too unwieldy. Especially since DID evolves with what you experience all the time.

Microlabels are cool and I fully support anyone who uses them, but figuring out what to call every single structure in your system isn't for us anymore.

Another thing we notice is people who try their best to know who is fronting at all given times. A lot of that comes naturally to us nowadays, but it's also... OK not to know. Especially if you're not focusing on anything system related at the time.

I guess a lot of this boils down to, it's okay not to care. It's okay to go with the flow of things and figure out at your own pace. Identity is fluid, especially if you have a dissociative disorder. You don't HAVE to have everything figured out 100% of the time.

It's okay to take it slow. It's okay to not know. It's okay to just exist for a bit. It's okay to live and experience things beyond being a system.

To all the people who are just starting to comprehend this. You do not need to know and label exactly what is happening in your head all the time. Fuck, we sure don't. And we're happier for it.

It's okay to just be you.

[lefluoritesys]

[the-habitat-sysblog]

guy who has the doesn't-feel-real disorder: idk why but i don't feel real :-(

guy who has the major-memory-loss disorder: idk it just feels like there's a gap where yesterday is supposed to be :-( weiird

guy who has the different-person-every-hour disorder: woa h guys idk why i said that yesterday that doesn't rly sound like me :-(

DID: the disorder you know you have but it still surprises you every time! only $9,99 (childhood not included)

[c-0-yote-teeth]

When you tell them you have ADHD and autism and they say that's fine but then they find out it's not cutesy collecting hello Kitty and bouncy stimming autism and oopsie I can't pay attention ADHD,

its I can't go in the grocery store I can't vacuum I can't do dishes because of the sensory overload

it's we can go eat at a restaurant but as soon as I start getting overwhelmed I'm going to shut down completely and dissociate but tell you I'm fine

It's please snuggle me but I have to keep my headphones on because hearing is too much right now

It's thank you this new shirtjacketbraceletnecklace you bought me is amazing and I love it but I can't wear it because it feels weird

It's I love you but sometimes your voice is too much noise and I can't look into your eyes

It's I need you near me but please don't touch me or talk or breathe too loud or cough because my brain feels like it's about to explode

It's I'm sorry I forgot you asked me to do the dishes but I know when your entire family's birthdays are and will never forget them

It's I meant to cook dinner four hours ago but I got lost in my brain and I just found my way back out and realized it's already 10pm