#it's also a bit nonlinear at times

[ichorblossoms]

lots of respect for ppl who don't post/talk abt certain oc things due to not wanting to spoil their own stuff, however i will not be doing that. by the time any of this stuff is finished it'll probably be different anyways

[libraryleopard]

Adult fantasy novel

Dark fairytale about a princess-turned-nun/midwife who sets out on a quest to kill her sister's abusive husband with the help of a necromancer, a disgraced knight, a fairy godmother, an undead dog made of bones, and a demonic chicken

Feminist rage and sinister magic alongside a motley crew of characters and an understated romance

Main character of color

[treacheryinblue]

Chapter 2/4

A Noah Sebastian x F!Reader One Shot Series

Word Count: 7.1k

Masterlist

× Summary: Noah is Death, the ruler of the after life (or whatever you want to call it), though he is cursed to watch you come and go from his never ending existence time and time again.

× Warnings!: Eh-level smut (oral [f receiving], P in V obviously, touch of spanking), language, little bit of violence, tiny fluff if you squint, slight dom!noah, smut with plot aka this became more in depth than I meant for it to aka a one shot that's now a series. Let me know if I missed anything!

× Author's Notes: ( 1 ) Thank you sooo much for all the support this story has been given. It was never was supposed to be more than a one shot, but after all the excitement behind it, I've decided to make it into a short series! I'm going to try to keep it at four parts, just to show the lore behind the characters and also maybe why it's happening...if I can make my brain create such things. ( 2 ) PLEASE suspend all thoughts of how time works when reading this. Time is pretty much just NOT a thing in Noah's realm. It's nonlinear and I refuse to be tied down by it! Also, hopefully the context clues are obvious enough for people to pick up on what time period the female character is from in each chapter. If not, feel free to hit me with a question.

Happy reading! xoxo

“The Dark Lord will be pleased with this one.” 

An unknown voice sounded out around you, immediately sending a chill down your spine. You heard yourself expel a whimper of fear as your hands responded by trembling in their bindings. The man must've noticed this because a sadistic sounding laugh rang out, echoing through wherever you were and reverberating in your ears. 

How long had you been tied down to this slab of rock? It easily could've only been hours, though it felt like days. Weeks. An eternity. Nothing felt longer than waiting for your impending death. 

“Please…” you pleaded in a soft and broken voice. “Let me go and I will make sure no harm comes of you.” 

The men again cackled, the kind that you were sure had them gripping their bellies and arching back. Maybe it was a good thing you couldn't see their dirty faces and broken teeth taunting you. That would never be the last thing you'd want anyone to have to witness before their untimely demise. 

“The blade. Now.”

Something cool pressed to your chest and immediately forced a slight gasp out of you. Again, you began to tear up and pull at your restraints, although you had no idea what you would do if you happened to free yourself. The noises you had picked up on told you that there were more than two people there, and after so long without food or water, you'd never be able to take them. You were doomed one way or the other. 

As the blade traveled downwards, it was made to puncture and rip the bodice of your dress. Another set of hands tugged the thin fabric to further open it, revealing your bare torso beneath it. 

“Please! Don't do this!” You cried, now feeling shame from being so exposed. 

How horrible was it that you were briefly only concerned about what your mother and father would say of this? They'd scold you, hissing words of how it wasn't very ‘lady like’ and that ‘no man would want you now’. You would be the ‘shamed whore’ of your village. 

Before those thoughts could lead with any traction, the sound of faint chanting snapped you from your own thoughts. It started as a whispering and ever so slowly began working its way higher and higher with every repeated line. Unfortunately, you couldn't make out any of the words. It was possible that it was in another language, though also likely that your sobs took the forefront of the focus. 

As the volume grew, so did your fear. Your breathing was rapid and uneven, a cool sweat forming across your chest and along the back of your neck. It was not being able to see what was happening that was also truly terrifying. Your captors had blind folded you after securing you down, this being the last time you saw any of their faces. It had been days of darkness - if not longer. 

The chanting had started increasing in pace. Voices roared all around you and you could sense someone probably just within your reach (had your hands been free) but they had yet to do or say anything. You sobbed beneath your blindfold, the ropes holding you down rubbing your poor wrists raw from how you had been desperately trying to pull them free. They burned with every motion, and you were sure blood had been coating them since day one. Not that anyone around cared enough to take note. 

“Please!” You yelled again, the single worded plea broken from your constant waterfall of tears. You swore you even heard another chuckle from right beside you. 

“Send our love to the Dark Lord.” 

A fierce pain punctuated his final statement as the blade ripped through your chest. You screamed in terror, just for the blade to be retrieved and then forced through skin, muscle, bone, again and again until you were nothing but a husk of who you had once been. 

× × ×

Piercing eyes stared at you from across the long table, silently watching every move you made, no matter how small. You could feel the weight of his gaze despite having told him before how uncomfortable it made you - this had shocked him into a brief silence - but it obviously hadn't been important enough information for him to retain. 

As you reached for your glass of wine, he did the same. His motions mirrored yours when you both took a swallow from the glass, followed by another, then another - the third being a mere test to see if he would or not. 

“Stop.” 

The demand left you with an irritated sigh, your wine glass then being loudly placed back to the table top. He chose to do the opposite, instead opting to lightly set his own glass down in a more respectable manner. 

“Stop what?” 

Your eyes narrowed at him, lips pressed tight together to showcase to him just how completely and utterly annoying he was. Ever since your arrival, he had done nothing but get under your skin day after day, night after night, second after second. 

Maybe you really were in Hell. 

“I'm going back to my quarters.” 

You weren't going to do this with him again. It had become an every encounter sort of thing at this point - both of you engaging in an argument until you finally stomped off or he dismissed you before you ‘fell victim to his true nature’. How in the world were you supposed to live like this? For how long? Every time you’d yell this inquiry at him, he would only smile like he knew a secret you didn't. 

Dropping your napkin to your plate, you were just about to push away from the table when his voice halted your every movement. 

“Sit back down now. I haven't excused you.” 

There was a sternness to his demand that you had yet to hear from him prior. It shook you to your core…in a way you hadn't expected. 

There was a brief pause as you stared at him. You were silently debating with yourself as to whether or not you should listen, weighing the options. Since you had nowhere to go where he couldn't find you, you did as he requested. 

“Maybe I've gone about this the wrong way. Maybe I've been too nice. Too lenient. Too patient. Since those approaches don't appear to be working, we're going to switch up to the way I prefer things.” 

The man you knew as Noah slowly stood from his chair. Those eyes of his never broke from yours, not even as he placed his palms on the table top and leaned forward a bit to assert only an ounce of his dominance. You wanted to say it didn't make you want to cower in a corner, but it did. 

Or maybe take your clothes off…

“You are here in my domain. Do you know what that means?” 

Noah's eyebrows raised when he paused, though you knew he wasn't looking for an answer. He already had one of his own loaded and ready to go. 

“It means I'm the fucking King and it would be in your best interest to not disobey me.”

You thought it would end there. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. 

But wait…what was this new sensation you were beginning to feel? It was warm and tingly…quite different from any you had experienced before, both when dead or alive. 

“It doesn't matter to me that it's you. You are still required to make sure I remain pleased.” 

This caught your curiosity and it showed in the way your own brows pulled together ever so slightly. 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means that you listen to m-”

“No, the first part.” 

You could see the way his features softened when he realized what he had said. Was this one of those secrets he always seemed to be keeping from you? Obviously. The issue was that you had no clue what it meant. 

“For the love of Go-!” Noah paused before he could get the entire saying out, his jaw clenching and face reddening as if it would truly pain him to say the words. With a deep exhale through his nose, he stood to his full height and raked his fingers roughly through his hair. He was frustrated, though something told you that it wasn't all because of your defiant behavior. 

The anger he held was bubbling to the surface and forcing him to lose his composure. He growled as he latched onto the chair and sent it hurling to the ground, followed by the glass of wine he had previously been nursing. Both became shattered pieces that would be impossible to repair. 

“Why do you not remember yet?! Is this some cruel joke you're playing on me? Is that it?!” 

Before you could even blink he was in front of you. He had forced your chair out a bit, enough for him to wedge himself in front of it to prevent you from escaping. His tattooed hands firmly grasped at the arms of the chair, intense eyes level with your own. 

You weren't frightened of him. You had endured the wrath of more vile men many times in the past, your father being one of them, so this temper tantrum of his did not register as a threat. 

Plus, you were already dead. What more could he do to you? 

“I need you to remember.” 

These words were spoken in a much softer tone, almost like he was begging you. Pleading. The pain was clear in his eyes and for some reason this hurt you as well. Why did you care about his feelings? Why did you want to make him feel better? Never during any of your previous altercations had you felt this way. 

“I'm sorry…I don't know how…I don't understand…”

Noah appeared crushed. You swore you could hear the sound of his heart breaking; that's how deep his emotions ran along his features. He dropped to his knees in front of you, his head bowed to keep his face hidden. The hands that had once been gripping the arms of the chair fell to your covered knees, now grasping tight to you in any way he could. 

“Please…try for me? There's a part of you that would do anything for me, just as I would do for you.” 

Although his words continued to confuse you, they didn't disturb you or make you uncomfortable as they previously had. There was even a fraction of you that believed him…which only made you want to try as he was requesting. 

Maybe he could sense this, because you felt one of his hands fall and begin lightly tracing along your ankle. The other remained on your knee, still clutching tight. 

“Close your eyes…will yourself to remember…I know you can.” 

There was a flicker of something behind your closed eyes, almost like a thought. Maybe a memory. You weren't too sure because the scene clip was foreign and not anything you had ever experienced in your living life. All that was familiar within the abrupt flash were his eyes and the way they devoured you. 

“That…what was that?” 

Noah’s hand cradled your cheek, his touch immediately causing you to open your eyes and connect with his own. There was now a hopeful gleam within them, so much that you swore you even saw his lips threatening to turn up into a smile. 

“Did you remember something? Tell me.”

All you could do was slowly shake your head. Even if you wanted to tell him what the brief image had been, you knew you wouldn't be able to put it into words. It was like trying to describe a color to someone that they would never see for themselves. An impossible task to say the least. 

Without another word, you quickly pushed him away from you and stood from your chair. Noah was stunned by your actions but made no move to stop you from running away, not like you had expected him to. As you exited the dining room, all you heard behind you was the sound of more glass breaking and Noah’s pained yells. 

× × ×

Sleep eventually took over you that night, though it hadn't come easy. To bring forth this needed unconsciousness, you had to think of the images from earlier and imagine what scenario it was attached to. 

It took place in an unknown room, though you could assume this room was in the same domain you currently were held in. The decor was the same, the walls and lighting giving this away. It wasn't your current room, though, but somewhere a little more lived in. It was comfortable, if you were being honest. Almost as comfortable as the bed you were laid out over in this flash of images. 

There was a warmth that accompanied them, one that you were only barely accustomed to. You had experienced it before during your living existence when you had hiked your dress up to your hips and buried your fingers between your thighs - these moments were fleeting and only happened enough times for you to count on one hand. 

Although, it wasn't your hands that brought forth the unfamiliar but welcomed warmth this time, but something - someone - far more enticing. 

A pleasure radiated throughout your entire being in a way that had your body trembling and your voice crying out for more. You had managed to open your eyes long enough to see his head between your spread thighs, decorated fingers holding tight to you to make sure you remained fully open for him, all while his mouth worked wonders in ways you didn't know possible. 

“Noah!” You moaned and whimpered, his name on your lips only sending him into an excited frenzy. He groaned into you as his mouth secured around your clit, harshly sucking before soothing the nerves with swipes of his tongue that made your hips buck and your cunt clench in a desperate need to be filled. 

“You're so perfect…” he breathed as he pulled back just enough to watch his fingers disappear inside of you. The sensation was heavenly, as ironic as that was, even more so when his long digits dipped and curled within your dripping wet warmth. Noah stroked along a spot that immediately had you gasping for air and gripping tight to the already tangled sheets your body had become well acquainted with. The mess of linens told you that you had been at this for a bit now, and it definitely wasn't his first time admiring you from below. 

“Don't stop, please…” you begged, soft and gentle between your labored breathing. 

Noah happily obliged, not that he had any plans on stopping until he was thoroughly satisfied with your amount of pleasure. His wicked mouth returned to your clit, tongue swirling and flicking in a way only the Devil could know how, while his fingers assisted in bringing you right to the edge. 

If this was eternal damnation, then you would willingly devote the rest of your existence to it, to him. 

Just a couple more firm strokes of his fingers and your body was tensing, a pressure building so high that it literally felt as if you were going to explode. And almost as soon as the thought passed your mind, your body released - literally and metaphorically. Moans heaved from you and your hips writhed beneath Noah’s form, a sudden wave of pure heat traveling through you and coating his fingers. The bed became soaked, though Noah seemed less than concerned about this. He hadn't even let up on pulling your clit between his lips and forcing his fingers harder within the collapsing and pulsing walls of your cunt. 

You awoke from your slumber with a gasp, your body abruptly sitting up in bed. It took a moment for you to gather yourself, but you eventually noticed that you were alone and no longer in the room from your…dream? Memory? It was still so hard to say. As you made a motion to move, you felt a throb between your thighs, a deep pulsing just like the one your subconscious had just been experiencing. 

You thought nothing of it at first, not until you stood from the bed only to realize the sheets, as well as your clothing, held a wet spot right where one could assume. 

It only took a moment for you to change, though you left yourself bare beneath the sleeping gown with not even the top tied securely. There was no reason for you to waste time with it when there was one thing on your mind now. 

After a few wrong turns and having to backtrack more than you'd like to admit, you finally stumbled upon the study where you knew Noah to spend the majority of his time. Sometimes you swore this domain liked to purposely switch up and change on you, just to make finding your intended location all the more difficult. 

“Stop lingering,” his voice called out after you had stood outside the cracked door for far too long. 

A small jolt in response to his voice being directed to you caused your heart to skip a beat, though you did as he said and gently pushed the study door open enough for you to slip through. 

“How did you kno-”

“Nothing happens here without my knowledge of it. No matter how small or…private.”

That's when his eyes lifted to meet with you, they focused in on your hips first before slowly trailing up to your own gaze. Something gleamed within his stare, but it wasn't something you were yet capable of putting your finger on. All you knew was that it further stirred a sensation inside you. 

“It's late,” Noah then pointed out as he leaned back in his chair, sights still locked on you. 

You nodded in understanding, slow steps being taken closer to the desk he resided behind. Instead of stopping in front of it, you moved around the side and only paused once you were in front of him, just within arm’s reach. You could see Noah's chest inflate with a deep inhale, his eyes further darkening at the close proximity. Had his gaze even flickered down to where your hardened nipples were evident beneath the thin fabric of the dress you wore? You swore they had. 

Speaking of your clothing…it was drastically different from what Noah always wore. His black on black suit wasn't like anything you were used to seeing, though your clothes were reminiscent of your time, unchanging from what you knew. How odd, you thought to yourself. This wasn't the time to ponder such things, though. It was just one more mystery added to the collection you were keeping note of. 

“I had a dream,” you finally revealed. A hand hesitantly reached out so you could trail a finger slowly beneath his jaw, a simultaneous step closer to him also being taken. “At least…I think it was only a dream.”

“A memory, perhaps.” Noah spoke up, his eyebrows raised. 

“Perhaps.” Your hand fell from his face and you swore you noticed a sadness quickly glaze over his eyes, almost as if he missed your touch already. Lucky for him, you had no intention of keeping your hands to yourself right then. 

Delicate fingers clutched the fabric that covered your body, now being pulled up just enough so you could freely move while settling into Noah’s lap. Your knees straddled him and his hands moved to lay atop the bare skin of your thighs, almost like a reflex. 

“Tell me what you remember.” 

A slight shrug of your shoulder caused the gown to fall away, revealing more of your skin to him. His eyes followed the trail of your neck down your shoulder and to your chest, just as he reached up to further tug the fabric away in a gentle manner until the swell of your breasts were shown. 

Noah had learned forward so he could slowly kiss along the bared skin of your chest. His hands traveled up the sides of your thighs, purposely pushing the hem of the dress up more, but not fully. He was then gripping your waist, slyly pulling your body even closer to his while his lips dipped between the valley of your breasts. 

“It's mainly feelings that I remember, not necessarily specific moments…” 

A question lingered at the tip of your tongue, one that you weren't really sure the meaning of. It was merely plaguing the back of your mind, leaving you curious for an answer that could possibly mean absolutely nothing to you. 

“How…many times have I been here?” 

The inquiry caused Noah to pause, his eyes flickering up to yours before he relayed an answer. 

“This makes five. Five lives…five versions of you…and this you by far has been the most stubborn.” 

This knowledge didn't frighten you like it would have mere hours ago. No, it actually made a bit of sense now, like the puzzle pieces were all slowly starting to come together. 

“And each one is me?” 

Noah hummed lightly, his lips returning to their trek along your chest. He was being much softer with you than you would've imagined, especially given the outburst you had witnessed from him earlier. 

“Same body, same eyes, same markings…” he punctuated this with a slight bite to a prominent freckle that sat off to the side of your right breast. “Even the same name.”

“So…where are all of the previous versions of me at?” 

A heavy sigh followed your question, his jaw clenched in obvious frustration. Having not yet answered, Noah swiftly picked you up and laid you down atop his desk after swiping the unnecessary items aside. There was a darkness in his eyes again, and you noticed that his previous soft caresses were becoming much more defined and needy. Witnessing this had your insides stirring, but in a way that made you thankful for wearing nothing more than your sleep gown. 

“You’ve been taken from me.” 

Noah’s voice was harsh, the words almost being hissed through gritted teeth. Apparently you had touched on a sore subject without even realizing it. But still, he began undressing himself as you laid beneath him, vulnerable and aching. Not even his growing anger was going to stop him from having you. 

With his torso now bared to you, you took a moment to take in all of the permanent etchings that crowded his skin. You had never seen such things before, though you've heard tales of tattoos and these being described as the ‘mark of the Devil’. Clearly your time wasn't too far off, considering who you were currently in the company of.

A hand grabbed your face and forced you to look up at him as his body hovered over your own. Noah’s eyes were as intense as ever as he searched within yours, on a hunt for something. 

“You aren't meant for this world but you are mine. I'll see to it that every death brings you to me. They can't stop me.”

They? 

There was no chance for you to inquire about this because Noah’s mouth was then on yours, all hot and desperate. He kissed you like his life depended on it - funny enough - like you were the only thing that could breathe oxygen back into his lungs. And much to your own surprise, you kissed him back with just as much ferocity. His taste was addicting and familiar, one that you wanted to hold onto for as long as you could. 

Even as he pulled back, you swiped your tongue along your lower lip simply to savor what remained. 

One strong pull was all it took for Noah to rip the gown you wore straight down the middle, his eyes immediately drinking you in. He leaned down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, moaning against your heated skin while flicking his tongue along the hardened bud before sinking his teeth in. You gasped at the slight pain, but the rise of your hips to grind against his let him know that you actually enjoyed it. 

Noah smirked as he moved to your opposite nipple, displaying the same loving abuse to it. A warmth was pooling between your thighs and you were suddenly so eager for his touch that you didn't know what to do with yourself. Your hips continued to grind along his, desperate to feel any sort of relief, but the material of his pants were too soft and not at all what you were aching for. 

“Not so defiant now, are you?” He taunted, his clothed hips firmly pressing into yours just to further rile you up. 

“Look at you…desperate and whining…you must be remembering how good I can make you feel.”

Indeed you were, because never have you felt a need as strong as this before. Something in you knew just how mind blowing a climax at his hands could be and you wanted it now. You were so caught up in your own selfish needs that you hadn't even heard the sound of his belt coming off or the distinct ripple of the zipper being dragged down. When your eyes met with him again, he was fully naked and standing between your legs, slowly stroking along every inch of his hard cock. 

“Fuck…the things you do to me,” he murmured to himself, heavily exhaling through his nose. You watched in awe as he continued to touch himself, his hips pushing forward to thrust into his hand, even as he rubbed the head of his cock down between your folds. Noah’s eyes closed and his head tossed back, reveling in the sensation of you being so wet for only him. 

“Please…” you whimpered, your legs spreading more as if that would help entice him in. As much as you liked watching him get himself off, surprisingly enough, you were far too needy in that moment to have any bit of his stamina wasted on his hand. 

Releasing the hold he had on his cock, he instead grabbed your calf and lifted your leg to his shoulder. His strong hands now held your hips, the tip of his cock pressed right to your entrance since he had produced the perfect angle after maneuvering your body around however he saw fit. 

“You have to be a good girl and take it,” he instructed, his voice soothing but still holding an edge to it. 

Noah pressed forward, allowing only the swollen head of his cock to stretch through your tight walls that hugged him just as close as he remembered. 

“Say it.” He demanded, refusing to go any further until you had. 

You shakily breathed out, your heart racing and blood pumping so fast that your cheeks were flushed a deep red already. “I'll be a good girl,” you repeated his words, nodding. “I'll take it, I promise.”

Happy with this, Noah thrusted forward in a swift motion that you had taking every inch he had to offer. Your tight pussy welcomed him into your depths with a constricting pulse that would've made him cum right then had he not had an eternity of practiced self control. 

Noah deeply groaned, his jaw set and biceps flexed while holding you in place. Your own moans mixed with his, your body trembling in his grasp from just how intense it was to be fully filled by him. It was like nothing you had ever felt before…quite literally since your living existence had yet to experience the touch of another. You had only known a release at your own hands, which was nothing compared to this. 

“That's it…” he cooed the familiar phrase as he began his rapid pace of driving his cock deep into you again and again, forcing moans and profanities never yet spoken from you each time. “You're always so good at taking it.” 

Oh, how you wanted nothing more than to take all that he had to offer. 

The stretch of your walls were so tight around him that you swore you could feel every engorged vein throbbing when he forced himself as deep as possible. Noah turned his head so he could kiss along your ankle, the grip he had on your calf tightening just before leaning forward a bit. It was a good thing you were pretty limber or else a cramp would've surely ruined the mood by now. Noah didn't seem concerned about this, though. He was far too focused on the shape of your lips as you cried out his name. 

This angle had to have been created by this Devil himself though, because you could barely take a breath from how overpowering it was. You looked up at him with furrowed brows and nothing but silence as your breath caught in your throat. Every inch of your body tensed, though this had yet to cease his quickening thrusts. Your cunt felt too good, too warm, too tight, for him to let up now. 

“Noah!” His name finally erupted from you again, just as an unexpected orgasm took charge. Your head tossed back and your hips arched up as much as possible, your pussy now gripping his cock like a vice. Your walls were so strong that you noticed he was finally beginning to break a sweat. 

As the climax shook through your body, his motions began to slow before coming to a complete halt. He stared down at you, a fire in his eyes. 

“Did I say you could cum?” The question was punctuated with a firm spank to the side of your thigh, a sting radiating outwards that you knew you'd be feeling for some time afterwards. 

“Hadn't I just told you that you're meant to listen to me? That I'm the King and you do as I say?” 

Noah had shifted your leg off his shoulder and pulled his hips back until he was no longer inside of you. The loss of connection made you whine and pout because one orgasm hadn't been enough. You desperately needed more. 

“I couldn't stop it,” you explained while he forced you up, around, and then back down so the front of your body was pressed to the desk. 

“You promised you were going to be a good girl.” 

There was a bit of rustling from behind you, followed by the faint clink of metal that you recognized from his belt when he had been removing it not long ago. Your thighs pressed together in anticipation for whatever he had planned for you now since you knew that fleeting moment of softness from him was long gone. 

“But good girls ask before they cum, and you didn't ask.” The sound of something moving quickly through the air garnered your attention, but a mere second later a sharp sting forced a yelp from you when the folded edge of his belt made contact with your ass. The pain shot right to your core, your cunt clenching eagerly around nothing. 

Another crack rang out when the belt again collided with your tender ass cheek. You whimpered and writhed, your hands desperately trying to grab onto something to steady yourself but there was nothing within reach on the desk. While it did hurt, and the pain only worsened with each spank, you still couldn't help but to crave more. Maybe it was because Noah was now rubbing his palm soothingly over the red and welted area, or maybe it was because you liked allowing him this power over you. 

You held a power of your own over him as well, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Although now may have not been the time to bring that up. 

“Look at how fucking wet you're getting from this,” he mused gleefully as his fingers dipped down to brush along your pussy. He gathered the wetness around his fingertips after sinking his digits into you, though he only graced you with a couple of pumps before their retreat. 

Noah leaned over your body so his mouth was at your ear, his wet fingers forcing their way between your lips for you to obediently clean. Which you did without hesitation or complaint, even going so far as to moan softly at the taste of yourself. 

“Now, are you going to be my good girl or do I need to punish you a bit more?” He whispered into your ear while lightly brushing your hair back from your face. 

You could feel his hard cock between your thighs, teasing you with what you so badly wanted again. This assisted in you making up your mind, despite how much you enjoyed the punishment given. 

“I'll be your good girl,” you promised once his fingers were pulled from your mouth. 

Noah circled his strong hand around your jaw before placing a firm kiss to the side of your head. “That was the correct answer.” 

Gently forcing your body back around to face his, he was careful to then set you on the edge of the desk. You winced at the weight being placed on your abused bottom, and it was only intensified when Noah purposely grasped the exact area, fingertips digging into the welts. There was no room for true pain when it was quickly overpowered by the euphoric sensation of him thrusting into you again. 

Christ, if you weren't already dead then this man surely would've been the death of you. 

Both hands squeezed your hips as he helped drag you along his cock, maneuvering your body in just the right way so he was hitting every spot inside of you that had you gasping for air. Your mind was occupied solely with thoughts of him, especially when taking in how he was gazing at you. It didn't matter that bits of his hair clung to his forehead with sweat or that you could barely take a breath without demanding that he fuck you harder, because Noah was still staring at you like you were the only thing in this entire melancholic universe that mattered. 

“You're fucking amazing,” he grunted just as he pushed against your chest to lay you back on the desk again. This allowed him free reign to drive his cock at a maddening pace into your depths, his thrusts relentless to what your mere mortal body could handle. 

Did it matter since you were already dead, though? Were you technically a mortal still? So many questions. 

Your noises of ecstasy echoed through the study as your cunt throbbed around his twitching cock. The way Noah’s hips began to slow until he was taking long drags out of you, only to roughly thrust forward again, told you that he was close. You weren't sure how you knew, but you did. Just as you somehow knew other things little that would make him tick - both in good and bad ways. 

“You look so beautiful like this.”

You couldn't help but to smile through your delightful torment, your body already so sensitive from your previous orgasm and all of the other things Noah had made you feel that night. From his unmatched stamina, so you could assume, to the pain of his belt across your ass that made your cunt clamp tighter around his cock just from thinking about it. 

Noah must've noticed because he released a deep growl from his chest, his head now bowed and eyes closed as he continued his unforgiving thrusts. 

“Oh!” You gasped the moment his palm pressed against your lower stomach and his thumb made contact with your clit. Your hips jerked and your thighs threatened to close, but his grip on the one only tightened to a harsh squeeze to keep you perfectly spread for him. 

“You have to ask.” Noah reminded you, since he was well aware of what your reactions were pointing to. 

Your eyes rolled back and your teeth sunk deep into your lower lip, breathless moans escaping one after the other, making it nearly impossible for you to say much of anything. 

“Please!” You finally were able to pant out, a faint whine to follow. “Can I cum? Please?” 

Noah smirked at your obedience. The sound of your begging only made him drive harder into your core, his thumb still working against your overly sensitive clit. 

“Please please please,” the pleading continued in a faint whisper, this being all you could manage out now in a little chant of desperation. 

Instead of voicing his approval, he merely gave a single nod just before planting both of his hands on the desk near your head. He was leaning over you now, his hips violently colliding with yours. Dark eyes focused down on your face and you immediately knew he wanted to watch up close as you fell apart for him again. 

Your hands ran up his sides and back to clutch his shoulder blades, nails sinking harshly into his inked skin the moment your climax took over. Every inch of your body spasmed beneath his, your knees digging into his hips and nails dragging down his back in a way that made him sharply inhale in an almost hiss. 

“Oh my go-!” The cry was nearly completed when his hand covered your mouth, preventing you from voicing the final word. Though this didn't stop you from moaning in a continuous yet muffled fashion as a wave rushed through your body and your cunt hungrily tried dragging in more of his cock. 

“Fuck, you're doing so good,” he murmured in a low tone that had your insides melting and your orgasm freely flowing around him. “Fucking hell!”

Noah groaned as his thrusts became a little more sloppy before a final drive forward had him pausing as deep as possible inside of you. The muscles in his arms and shoulders tensed as he erupted, the vein in the side of his neck now more prominent. You couldn't help but to crane your neck forward just a bit in order to sink your teeth into it, bringing forth a moan from him directly into your ear. 

Shivers traveled your body from the overly full feeling of him cumming inside of you and filling you to the brim, his arousal mixing with your own and overflowing. Still, your cunt continued to pulse and flutter around his cock, emptying him for all that he was worth. Your hips even rolled up into his again, purposely working yourself along his length simply because you could and because it felt so fucking good to have him stroking your g-spot, no matter how sensitive and spent your body was. 

“I told you I could be a good girl,” you breathed against his neck while trailing your lips up in search of his. Noah chuckled into the kiss you eventually indulged him with, his brow finally relaxing now that you had stopped grinding into him and he could properly think. 

Lifting his head after you parted from the kiss, he gazed down at you to admire how beautiful you looked with your cheeks flushed and a post-sex glow setting in. It was the first time he had seen you appear genuinely happy since your arrival, and while he of course wanted your body again and again, he also wanted to see that as often as he could. 

“Don't think I've forgotten about how you acted at dinner.” His tone was serious only for a fleeting moment. Your eyes widened slightly, the welt on your ass pulsating as if to remind you of the punishments he could make you endure. 

Noah cracked a faint grin before dragging his hand along the side of your face and claiming your lips once again. He was then standing to his full height and carefully pulling you to a sitting position along with him, where he slowly pulled himself out from your drenched core. A faint whimper escaped you, though you quickly covered it with a bite to your inner cheek. 

“No need to worry about that now. I'll let you know when I'm coming to collect for your defiant behavior.”  

Well, that surely made your pussy clench in eager anticipation. 

Flexing and rolling his shoulders back, he muttered something about giving him a second and then scurried off, but not before making a quick turn back to kiss you again. As he disappeared, you took this moment to glance around the study. It was one of the many rooms you hadn't really been in before, Noah's bedroom included, because you always felt they were too personal for you to see. 

And much to your own shock, Noah never entered your room either. At least you knew he could respect boundaries to a degree. But now? Well, now you weren't so sure what sort of boundaries remained for you two. 

Taking in a deep breath, you lifted a hand to gently massage into the back of your neck, just as your eyes swept across the large bookcase that lined one side of the room. Something on one of the shelves immediately acquired your attention: a knife of sorts, a dagger, with rubies embedded in the handle. There was something very familiar about it, so much so that you found yourself slipping from the desk to make your way over to where it was displayed. 

“I wasn't sure if you wanted to remain in the clothes you're used to, so I brought that and another option…” his voice grew quieter as it trailed off upon realization that you were no longer on the desk. 

Noah's returning presence couldn't pry your eyes away from the dagger, nor could his soft demand for you to tell him what you were doing. Instead, you reached out to lightly trace along the sheath the dagger was housed in before ultimately picking it up and pulling it from the enclosure. 

“What is this?” 

Noah was by your side within seconds, his hand reaching for the item though you made an abrupt turn to step away from him. 

“I need you to give me the dagger now…please. Then, maybe, we can discuss just what it is.”

There was a churning in your stomach and your heart was now beating so loud that you could hear it thumping within your ears. You recognized this dagger despite having only seen it for a few seconds after your captors all but dragged you to your death. A multitude of memories flashed before your sights of this dagger in particular, although in many different scenarios and situations.

Your eyes were pooling with tears as you finally looked up at him, both confusion and hurt written all across your face. It appeared as if Noah wanted to say something but he remained silent, his hand still outstretched like you were actually going to hand the item over to him. 

“This was what was used to kill me, Noah. More than once. Why do you have it?”

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

on the subject of Frank, Frank & Julie, and Franklydear 

I used to think that Frank will probably be one of the more skeptical puppets, and prone to being one of the first to see that not all is as it seems. And I think the majority of us think/thought this! 

But thanks to Riv i have entirely changed my tune. I think Frank will actively be avoiding the truth & clinging to the illusion. Here’s why!

Frank is portrayed as the most “rigid” neighbor - hell, it’s even part of his design! He likes routine, rules, for things to be ‘just so’ in his eyes. He doesn’t seem to like it when things stray from how they’re supposed to be. Everything has a time and a place. 

(and this might be mildly insane but blame Riv not me bc they said it, but in Just So Frank says “i like it best when red goes in front of the rest”, and if red is Wally… dot dot dot…) 

Then there’s how Frank will very likely be trying extremely hard to be something he’s not. And this is part of his design, too - he’s the only one in the cast without a natural blush. Yes, we’ve seen art where he can blush, but that’s in specific situations. In the bio images Frank is the only one without that little extra bit of color to his cheeks - he has two huge red splotches on him instead. Fake blush. Big and bright and impossible to ignore. 

And I’m gonna be diving a bit into Franklydear & Frank’s relationship with Julie because it’s important to this. 

I have also changed my tune on Franklydear - slightly. Welcome Home seems to be an example of nonlinear storytelling, as we’ve been getting bits and pieces from all over the place. The Live Interview from the early days, WHRP & Wally’s secret vinyl audios from “now”, the bug audios from an indeterminate time… so while I do think Franklydear is “already happening” within the main meat of the “past”, we will likely also get a chance to see before and after. And I do think there will be an after.

But I’m getting ahead of myself! Why do I think we’re going to see an established Franklydear? I’m going to be honest. A kofi post that I accidentally saw when a friend was sharing their screen with me and didn’t notice until it was too late </3 I should have looked away! But I didn’t, and that’s on me! I won’t say what I saw (it would be a theory anyways, nothing explicit or concrete in the evidence!) but it immediately convinced me that Frank & Eddie are in a secret relationship. I want to say more very badly, but if i’m proven right in tonight’s stream then I will be sharing Why I’m right. 

More reasoning that is obvious with this context - the whole “Mr. Dear / Frank- i mean Mr. Frankly!” thing might be part of this fabricated distance. I would completely believe you if you told me that Frank had them both refer to each other professionally to keep up the facade that they’re nothing but neighbors, nothing going on here nosiree. They definitely don’t meet in the woods to be romantic! That added with how unusually playful Frank is with Eddie in 8-14 is interesting… though I can also believe that those audios are from “before” their relationship, given that Frank seems to be dropping a hint with the whole “ You don’t need to be that familiar with them in order to get to know them better!” line. I don’t know - there are a bunch of contradictions that could be them acting, could be differences in the timeline, who’s to say yet! 

Anyway, so Franklydear is likely in a secret relationship, but I think Frank is going to get scared, call it off, and try to force a relationship with Julie. As in lying to her and everyone that he has feelings for her, and fulfilling their “destiny” in becoming a couple. I think Frank is where a lot of the internalized homophobia is going to come in.

In most of the Franklydear art we’ve seen from Clown, Frank seems to be very nervous and flustered around Eddie while Eddie seems to be more calm and forward. Frank has already proven to have a bit of a nervous disposition - he’s certainly high strung. That combined with his rigidity, the airs he puts on, and just… everything about him really, I don’t think he’ll be able to handle the pressure. 

(side note: the way that Clown said that he wishes they hadn’t let everyone know about Franklydear, it’s ok because it’s “not a major spoiler” has been fucking me up a little. Wym it’s not a Major spoiler? It’s so funny… we’ve all been like “Franklydear will be Thee relationship and a big thing-” and then it’s Not. lmao) 

Then there’s the song Clown associates with Franklydear, “Esperar pra ver”. @/Theneighborhoodwatch gave a translation/interpretation of the lyrics - cannot for the life of me find the og ask/post to link, but (if I’m remembering correctly) it was essentially said that the song is about love that doesn’t last / lost love. My friend Akemi (@/akemima <3) provided an alternate interpretation - to quote:

“...to me, it speaks about how they’re both Unable to speak up about their love? and the “wait and see” part is most likely them waiting for the other to make a first step or like. something Hopeful yknow?”

As both a tragedy enjoyer and a happy-end enjoyer, I wouldn’t mind either interpretation being accurate, personally! So Akemi has given us a sprinkle of hope for Franklydear! I think that both interpretations have merit, and hey, they can coexist. We might have them together, then Frank getting scared and calling it off, and then a “third arc” of them wanting to be back together but unable to (yet). Who’s to say! 

ON TO THE JULIE PORTION.

For a while I thought that Julie might be the one to pursue a relationship with Frank - both because of the subconscious influence of her “Role” & that she’s bi while Frank is gay. On surface level she would be the most likely of the two to get the wrong/mixed signals and Go For It.

However. Nothing about this project is surface level. 

I’ve already mentioned that I think Frank is going to try very hard to be something he isn’t. And this is backed by how his relationship with Julie is portrayed (another thank you to Riv for pointing a lot of this out & smacking some sense into me <3) 

Frank is all about rules and matching. Julie is all about improv and independence. Riv pointed out that in “Just So” the audio distorts when Frank is changing bowties and Julie asks if it “really matters”. They also pointed out that, apparently in the Halloween outfit references, Frank’s notes indicate that he’s matching with Julie - but Julie doesn’t have any reciprocating notes. It implies that she was doing her own thing and Frank adjusted himself accordingly. Julie goes along with Frank sometimes, but it seems that it’s usually Frank scrambling to go along with Julie. She’s been described as independent and stubborn. Frank is a bit more of a conforming pushover (no offense Frankie, love ya to bits <3). 

Frank is the straightman to Julie’s… I can’t reference the bios anymore but you know! He might be her straightman in more ways than just “he takes things seriously.” 

And really. Frank likes routine, he likes things to be consistent. He’s been with Julie as her best friend / “partner” for so long that I’m not sure if he can easily break away from that - I think a change as big as getting romantically involved with Eddie would terrify him. It might be thrilling for a moment, but then the fear will set in. 

I thought Julie would be the one clinging to Frank, but it’s the other way around isn’t it? 

Frank gets scared & then leads Julie on because he’s trying to act “normal”, the way that’s expected of him. And it fits. One of WH’s themes is the fear of being shunned for / perceived as different by others. Once they know what you are, will they treat you the same? 

And I don’t think Julie would be entirely opposed, either. I wouldn’t blame her for developing a crush on Frank. I mean, it might turn out that she’s “just going along with it” because she feels the same pressure and fear, but hm… I’m not convinced of that given what we know about her character. But if Julie has a little crush on Frank, I wouldn’t be surprised if when he forces himself to like her & initiates a relationship, she either realizes that it really was just a crush, or she’ll pick up on how Frank doesn’t actually have feelings & act accordingly. This option has more merit in my eyes. I think it would also reflect on the “love” theme of her house - I’ve speculated since pretty much day one that she’ll have an arc around realizing that she doesn’t need a relationship or even really want one at present, going against what Playfellow likely wanted from her. 

(and then I start thinking about the whole livestream trivia thing of Julie maybe falling down a hole or into some abyss… and the concept art of her shoes where she’s standing at the edge of a dark abyss… does she fall, does she jump, or is she pushed? If she winds up being pushed, who does it? Barnaby (milk theory babey!) or perhaps she’ll get in a fight with Frank and in the heat of the moment he accidentally causes her to fall, either by pushing or making her lose awareness of her surroundings (backing off of the edge?). I’m aware that this paragraph is a stretch all around! Don’t take it too seriously! A pinch of salt, people!)

There’s not much else to be said so, in conclusion:

Welcome Home’s storytelling is likely on a nonlinear timeline, Franklydear is established but won’t last, and Frank/Julie is probably going to become a temporary thing

[0mega-x]

My small essay on how I view France's perception of Joan of Arc and their relationship in Hetalia.

Almost as quickly as I joined Hetalia, I noticed how prevalent the story of France and Joan of Arc was and how it seemed Francis was so attached to her, almost like a lover. And while I do see a bit of how this could be, the attachment to her (and her specifically) that some parts of the fandom portrayed it has always been strange to me. So I'm going to go over the historical facts as well as the canon events of Hetalia involving Joan. Then I'll discuss how she was treated in French historiography and compare it to how she was treated in the fandom. Then, I'll go over my thoughts and headcanons about not only how the both of them interacted (if they did) but also how Francis thought of her after her death.

I. Who was Joan of Arc?

Joan was a farmer's daughter born in 1412 in Lorraine, during a time when France was at war with England, and losing, with most of its territory occupied by England or English allies. As the war started with a legitimacy dispute between the Kings of France and England, the crown prince of France had even been disinherited. At 13, she heard voices she identified to be God's command to save France by reinstating the King of France. She convinced the guy and set off for the Battle of Orléans (1429) which she won, a battle considered one of the turning points of the war for France, as she also enabled the king to be crowned.

She was captured a year later by English allies. She was tried and accused of heresy and witchcraft by the English and their allies, and the new king of France did not involve himself in it to not be associated with a heretic. She was burned at the stakes a year later in Rouen.

There was a rehabilitation trial put in place 20 years later.

II. The Hetalia episode (S2E15)

Lisa is an American tourist who visits the Mont Saint Michel in Normandy (the same region where Joan was burned at the stake). France stumbles upon her and is troubled because he seems to have recognised her. He offers her a tour, during which he tells her of Joan of Arc's story (and of the war in general) in admiration. When the topic of her being burned is brought up by Lisa, Francis confirms it happened in a rather stern tone (and he recalls the date perfectly).

He finishes by saying that he hopes all people forgotten by History get to be reborn and have a normal life, and that Lisa should be happy this time, confirming that she is implied to be Joan's reincarnation.

This episode shows us that, yes, Francis does look up to Joan in admiration, and has respect for her. Thinking of Joan makes him think about all the others who may have been tossed aside and forgotten. But I do find it a bit strange, considering Joan of Arc is not forgotten at all: she is the patron saint of France, was canonised, and is still taught in schools in France. Even before the 19th century, she was well-known, being talked about and sometimes brought up during conflicts.

III. The Hetalia strip

Joan was also brought up in the nonlinear strip "Big Brother France and That Kid" which gives another interesting insight into France and how he sees Joan. And it may explain why Francis says what he says in the anime.

He forgot about Jeanne until Napoleon mentioned her. Does he also forget other important people?

IV. Joan and French Historiography

In the following decades after the war, Jeanne tended to be occulted by historians. Working for the King, there was no way they would say he had been helped by a "heretic". Until the 19th century, she was occulted, as the contemporary fame that surrounded her and her death had faded away.

The XIXth century saw a surge in her representation. However, this was not a coincidence. Her figure was brought up similarly to the one of Vercingétorix, the Gaulish leader who fought Julius Caesar. She became a political tool, a symbol of French unity against a common enemy. She and Vercingétorix are prominent figures who rose after the defeat of the Franco-Prussian war against the German States.

She was taught in schools (which became free and mandatory around this time), contributing to her spreading in the general conscience of the average French person. Even to this day, I cannot tell you of one person who does not know who she is here.

Here is an example of how she was described in old French textbooks: "In no country can we find such a beautiful story as that of Joan of Arc. All French people must love and venerate the support of this young girl who loved France so much and died for us."

Her image and especially this figure of unity became almost inseparable from her historical figure. Today, she is often brought up by the far right (cues in Jean-Marie Le Pen's "Jeanne ! Au secour !") as this symbol of French unity against the common enemy, with the "French" and the "enemy"... up to their interpretation (spoiler: it's not the English).

"The defence of the country is the first of duties, but as it builds France, wars of conquest become legitimate. Most of the heroes presented to the children's admiration convey a warrior mentality, presented as a defence of the homeland against the invader. [...] Joan is the purest reference of popular patriotism." (Suzanne Citron, Le Mythe National)

V. Joan and the fandom

[THIS SECTION IS BASED *ONLY* ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE NAVIGATING HETALIA FAN CONTENT]

Now, I don't think most of you guys (at least from the side of the fandom I interact the most with) are from the French extreme right, so I doubt you associate her with this specific symbol. But you have to admit her rise to prominence has influenced the way Hetalia perceived her (and perhaps Himaruya as well). Why do I say that?

I feel like it's been toned down since the time I joined the fandom (either that or I just don't look a FRUK/Joan-related fanfics as much), but her bond with Francis occasionally felt... strange, like it was being pushed as the ultimate soulmate story. Francis being furious, even lashing out at Arthur when he learns of her death, him being really sensitive when May 30th arrives every year. It feels... strange. I haven't seen it with any other nation and a prominent figure in history. Not even Francis with another human (I guess because the canon did tackle Joan of Arc in more detail than for others).

This central place she is given in a nation's heart, seemingly almost venerated by Francis, I feel like it reflects how History (especially in French historiography) has portrayed her and given her this special place. It's just a small parallel that I noticed when I first got into Hetalia.

You could say many, MANY historical figures have been given special places, even in French historiography. I've even mentioned Vercingétorix here.

What do you guys think?

OH and by the way, do not take this part as meaning liking/doing content with Joan of Arc in this place as meaning it's bad to portray her as such

VI. My interpretation of how France and Joan interacted

This and the next part are my personal headcanons so feel free to ignore that if you're not interested.

Joan of Arc's story was widespread when she was still alive, and a lot of people knew of the girl who heard voices telling her to set out to crown the French king. After all, she did have a group following her when she went to convince the guy. Therefore, Francis DEFINITELY heard of her during her life.

Now, I am not sure if Francis would have actually met Joan. It implies he would have been there on the battlefield. I personally think nations get weak when their territory get invaded, so I don't think he did go to battlefields. However, Joan did meet with the French pretender to the throne. Perhaps, if Francis followed him, he would meet Joan as well. So yes, I think the two met and interacted.

Now as to how? Considering Joan's duty seemed to be towards the King (and therefore towards Francis), the both of them respected each other. To Francis, her courage might have been very admiring (after all, how many girls do you know just left their random-ass village and got a king to get crowned in the midst of a war).

Her victory against the English in Orléans did actually turn things over for France (=her role in the actual war may not be as exaggerated) as it was the sign that France could still win. So, in a way, Francis might have felt relieved and hopeful with her presence.

Now... her death. THE death.

When Joan was captured by the Burgundians and handed over to the Brits, the King did not do much to free her and she ended up burned. ANYONE would feel injustice hearing this, and so did Francis. I definitely do not think he would have gone "Bah, things happen, humans die", especially since this is not his attitude towards humans. But I do feel that he did not lash out either. It was an in-between. There was disappointment. How could such a beam of hope be abandoned to the enemies like that?

So, in a few words, admiration, loyalty, and a feeling of injustice and disappointment after her death.

VII. My interpretation of how France remembered and remembers her

Francis probably moved on with his life. He would maybe remember her from time to time, especially when the war was still raging (it went on for another 20 years), but by the Renaissance period, he may have just not thought about her much, in the sense that if you reminded him of his existence, he would remember everything, but that in his day-to-day life, he didn't reminisce much. After all, it would be a pain to have to always remember the people who saved you or did great things for you as a nation, and mourn their death anniversary.

When Napoleon arrived, he was reminded of her by him (as in, Napoleon mentioned her). That's when he remembered more often. As the 19th century progresses, he remembers others "like" Joan: Vercingétorix, Charles Martel,... He may be happy that those people get remembered again, but this comes with a political taint and historical romanticism. For someone like Francis, who actually LIVED history, this may have been bitter.

So nowadays, he finds himself remembering Joan more often (like the other historical figures) with a feeling of admiration and proudness. This, however, does not affect his relationship with England. I don't think Arthur himself burned her for one. Also, dang imagine if you had to hate or feel bitterness about every single nation whose people did something bad to a hero from your country. I'd be tired

Perhaps what Francis meant to Lisa was that he hoped that all figures who were tainted by History so much just get to be reborn as ordinary people whose lives will never be touched by History.

Conclusion?

This is a very messy essay and so will be the conclusion. I think that while Joan being more discussed than other historical figures in the Healia fandom is normal considering she is talked about in a strip and has a whole episode dedicated to her, I think that her portrayal in relation to Francis can be a little bit exaggerated, and I think that the way History had made her such a prominent figure helped in that.

I don't even know if I should call that an essay or just a series of thoughts.

[prokopetz]

On the topic of the Halloween tropes post, I could think of at least one example of most of those tropes, but I don't play enough indie horror games to get ALL of them.

Got some relevant recommendations? Spooky Season doesn't end 'til January!

(With reference to this post here.)

Sure, with the caveat that I'm not going to specify which of the cited metanarative horror tropes appear in each example – that would be spoiling things, after all. I'm also going to skip anything super widely reviewed and focus on the more obscure stuff, so no giving me a hard time for leaving out Doki Doki Literature Club. =P

Discover My Body is at the top of this list for alphabetical reasons, but it's also a great one to kick things off with. It's a narrative point and click game where you play as a medical intern observing a volunteer as their body is slowly consumed by a fungus. Packs an amazing quantity of body horror into a very short playing time. Free to play.

eversion is one of those games where everything looks cheerful and then surprise it's really a horror game. Sort of a precision puzzle-platformer, though light on the "precision" and heavy on the "puzzle" – most of the challenge comes down to routing, not execution.

The Fall is a point-and-click adventure game masquerading as a light metroidvania, in which you play as the onboard AI of suit of powered armour, tasked with getting your incapacitated pilot to safety. At the time of this posting, it's 80% off for the next 12 hours thanks to the Steam Hallowe'en sale.

Lily's Well is, I'm going to warn you right up front, one of those "awful shit happens to a cute little girl" games. It's handled in a mostly text-based, fate-to-black fashion, though, without any of the leering that often characterises the genre. It's about a girl who's been left alone and told not to leave the house; she, of course, does not listen.

NaissanceE is a first-person exploration title of the "you wake up in some alien ruins and need to find your way out" variety. Mostly a walking sim with some puzzle elements. Free to play.

Ossuary is a surreal quasi-RPG set in purgatory, in which the gameplay is built around inventory puzzles based on gathering and equipping various sins (which are apparently physical objects). Nonlinear and kind of obtuse – don't be afraid to consult a guide.

Perfect Vermin is a gory, low-bit first person action game where you're tasked with identifying shapeshifting monsters that impersonate furniture and killing them with a sledgehammer. If the aesthetic of this one grabs you, you should also check out the developer's prior title, Swallow the Sea; both are free to play.

Please, Don't Touch Anything is sort of pushing the definition of "horror game", but my post, my rules. As the title suggests, it's a locked-room exploration game where you're presented with a mysterious control panel and sternly advised not to touch it.

Stray Cat Crossing is what you might get if you took one of those super-artsy psychological horror JRPGs and took out all the combat, leaving only the exploration and puzzle-solving elements. Content warnings for child injury (including eye trauma) and death.

The Swapper is a twin-stick puzzle game whose central mechanic involves the use of a gun which can create copies of yourself and "swap" your consciousness among them. In spite of the visuals, the horror is almost entirely psychological rather than visceral.

They Breathe is a linear survival game about a frog exploring a flooded forest. Short, minimalist, and unreasonably effective at communicating a narrative with no narration whatsoever.

We Know the Devil is a branching-path visual novel about a trio of kids at a Christian summer camp being forced to participate in a bizarre ritual where they're left alone in a cabin overnight to confront the Devil. Strong themes of religious abuse, in case that wasn't clear!

(Widely reviewed games that I considered but ultimately left off in order to avoid loading down the list with stuff you've likely already heard of include Axiom Verge, the aforementioned Doki Doki Literature Club, INSIDE, Omori, OneShot, Oxenfree, Return of the Obra Dinn, and Yume Nikki. If I've guessed wrong and any of these have escaped your radar, definitely check them out as well.)

EDIT: As a reminder for everyone trying to add their own recs, if you include off-site links in a reblog, Tumblr automatically hides it from the notes pane and nobody but you can see it. Drop those titles without links if you want your recs to be seen by anyone who isn't you or me!

[bittersweetresilience]

author's commentary part one

now that we've reached the end of the fic, i will finally explain the beginning.

i named this piece after 大鱼, a song whose title means big fish. in the fic, jing yuan references void songs twice, which i imagine are the sounds that void song whales make. if you remember, yukong talks about these whales in her visitor dialogue. they swim freely through the stellar seas while their sibling species on the luofu has disappeared into history.

whale songs. dream fish. the call of the void. the language of longing. to me, renjing.

author's imagery only the most important bits

the sky is freedom and departure, and it is jing yuan, eventually. the sea is the dissolution of the self and the thing that will swallow him, and it is yingxing. the lightning is the portent of death, but also the electricity of being in love. the wine is the representation of shared wishes and togetherness and history. the starskiffs are the memorials of the past and the vessels into the empyrean. the fire is desire and destruction. the ink is the color of blade's hair and the sincerity of the letters jing yuan writes. the bandages and the iron are blade and the violence of his existence. the paper birds are the fragility of jing yuan's memories, which cannot be buried. the nightclothes are the vulnerability he will shed in the morning. the string is the red string of fate between renjing, but also the strings that tether jing yuan to the luofu and to his ending. the womb and the egg are the places of rebirth and the representation of returning to the beginning. the sun is the stellaron, and it is jing yuan before the sky and the sea consume him, and it is the end of the dream.

author's commentary part two

below is my translation of the song.

大鱼 big fish

海浪无声将夜幕深深淹没 the waves soundlessly submerge the night 漫过天空尽头的角落 rising over the corners of the edge of the sky 大鱼在梦境的缝隙里游过 the big fish swims in the rifts between dreams 凝望你沉睡的轮廓 watching your sleeping visage

看海天一色 听风起雨落 seeing the sky and the sea in one color, hearing the winds stir and the rain fall 执子手 吹散苍茫茫烟波 holding my son's hand, i blow away the hazy ripples of smoke 大鱼的翅膀 已经太辽阔 the wings of the big fish are already too vast 我松开 时间的绳索 i let go of the thread of time

怕你飞远去 怕你离我而去 afraid you'll fly far away, afraid you'll leave me 更怕你 永远停留在这里 even more afraid you'll stop here forever 每一滴泪水 都向你流淌去 every tear flows toward you 倒流进 天空的海底 flowing backward into the ocean floor of the sky

(...)

看你飞远去 看你离我而去 seeing you fly far away, seeing you leave me 原来你生来就属于天际 so you were born to belong to the sky all along 每一滴泪水 都向你流淌去 every tear flows toward you 倒流回最初的相遇 flowing backward into our first meeting

without this song, this fic wouldn't exist. every part of the two was intimately interwoven. in particular, the line about the thread of time was what made me certain it would be a nonlinear narrative and the mixing of the sky and the sea was the image that created the entire story.

i further drew from the lyrics the most important imagery, the idea of ending on the beginning, and the son's hand as not only yanqing but everyone jing yuan leans on today in order to support himself against the weight of history. i drew the themes of dreams and reality, the dialogue on leaving, and the breathless, surreal atmosphere of melancholy and yearning. but in addition to all of that there is a double meaning in this song to me.

the first time you hear it, you think it's about jing yuan. and it is, of course. everything is about him. he is the holder, the sleeper, the one submerging. but by the last verse, you realize it is also blade, talking to him as he walks into scalegorge waterscape. trying and failing to call him back from within the endless dream.

both of them were born to belong to the sky. only one of them truly died in it.

author's dictionary

rèn, 刃, word for 'Blade' (lit. 'blade's edge') jiāngjūn, 将军, word for 'general' gānbēi, 干杯, word for 'cheers' (lit. 'dry cups') mèngdié, 梦蝶, word for the shortness of life (lit. 'butterfly dream') (this was not said explicitly but alluded to in the first dream) shīfù, 师父, word for 'martial master' bàitáng, 拜堂, word for the act of bowing to the heavens and the earth, the parents, and then each other in marriage (this is what the high-cloud quintet was joking about) yǐnyuè-jūn, 饮月君, word for 'Imbibitor Lunae' (lit. 'moon-drinker') nàihé qiáo, 奈何桥, word for the Bridge of Oblivion where souls drink Meng Po soup to forget the memories of their past life in preparation for reincarnation húlu, 葫芦, word for 'gourd' (this is what bailu uses to dispense medicine) qīng, 卿, word for 'senior official' (this is the honorific jing yuan uses for fu xuan in light of her position as master diviner) xiàngqí, 象棋, word for 'Chinese chess' (this is what starchess is based on, where my vision designates aurumatons as cannons, starskiffs as elephants, and cloud knights as pawns) gē, 哥, word for 'older brother' (this is a casual term of address for older men) shíhuǒ mèngshēn, 石火梦身, word for 'Starfall Reverie' (lit. 'sparks in stone, body in dream')

author's references

all of the xianzhou trailblaze missions. all of the relevant characters' character stories and companion missions. character dialogues. visitor dialogues. battle dialogues. battle mechanics. lightcones. relics. readables. item descriptions. character designs. character messages. the new trailblaze continuance. area maps. chinese voiceovers and their english translations. character trailers. combat guides. animated shorts. possibly more things i'm forgetting to mention. my wealth of insanity.

author's appreciation

wiki editors who came before me. people who upload youtube videos of different dubs of each trailblaze mission. spouses and ssswips. my beloved commenters. the composer of 大鱼. renjing.

[daisy-daze17]

An aspect of totk that I've come to realise really bothers me is its tendancy to take bits and pieces of elements from lots of places and slap them into a game. Don't get me wrong- im aware the zelda games constantly include Easter eggs and call backs to reference older titles, and Totk is jam-packed with it. You search the depths to find a bunch of classic armours and shit from like every single game, the paragliding fabrics, and so much more.

But this game ALSO has a lot of story related or basic game structure that is tied to other zelda games.

1. Wind temple for example is practically oozing with reminants of wind waker-- you're climbing up to this MAGIC BOAT with the RITO (a prominent species in ww) by controlling and managing your wind powers all to make it to a boss with a name and theme song screaming out the most iconic parts of ww (God bless colgeras theme music we will never forget the music).

2. Lots of people found that the main aesthetics and storyline of this game was similar to skyward sword: you wake up on an ancient sky island that is the biggest one in hyrule before finding your way to the surface and descending down to start a search for zelda. I remember it was so similar some even started questioning if totk takes place before ss?? (I do not have the brain capacity to discuss that rn lol). Ganondorf looks extremely reminant of demise with his hair, main sacrifice of the game centres zelda giving up her body for a long long time so she can fight the evil that will come in a long long time, etc,etc.

3. As we all know, this game is a sequel to botw (omg rlly?? Who would have guessed) and it definaltly shows by the amount of game structure taken from botw to put in here. The four tutorial area shrines, the memories, the four main dilemmas for each reason, and ya know, the whole entire map. Totk makes changes to this map but essentially, it is a better version of the map we got in botw. Now it's obvious that nintendo would do this, but sometimes it feels like... they didn't have to?? The main one for this is the memories. The thing is, breath centred around our hero losing his memories and exploring unknown lands to receive bits and pieces that tell him what life could have been like pre-disaster. Totk, however, centres around zelda being in the past and showing link episodes of heavy plot driven cutscenes with every geoglyph he finds. Botw are little fragments of info that you can pieces together in any order to imagine what the main story was. Totk shoves a bunch of plot down your throat in any order because they don't give a shit if your spoil the story for yourself. Both games are non-linear. See where I'm getting at? One set of memories strengthen the nonlinearity of the game and rewards you for finding them. One... doesn't. There have been countless arguments made about this glaring issue that discuss it further, but my main point here is that maybe we didn't have to follow botw's structure to a tea if it doesn't work out for us sometimes.

Zelda games constantly reinvent themselves. Notice how no matter what nintendo does, some people always complaining about a new addition to the series while others love it? Wind wakers cartoonish artsyle, skywards motion controls, major's masks 3 day cycle, botw's open world gameplay? It seems like tears of the kingdom doesn't do that. I'd argue that its main purpose is taking breath of the wild and fixing major complaints made about the game, most of them usually about how untraditional to zelda botw was. That's why this game feels like a weird combination of the two. Nintendo tried to marry open world zelda with elements of older zelda games. It tries to have an episodic plot with major twists and emotion... but forgets that I'm allowed to watch each episode in any order I want and can end up screwing myself over. It tries to have traditional looking dungeons... but doesn't have any linearity to it and gets rid of the mechanics these used in botw, so it ends up being short aesthetically pleasing 4-part puzzles. It tries to have a LINEAR STORY in a NON-LINEAR GAME by making us constantly on our toes about finding zelda and understanding why she's trying to scare the locals shitless by commiting felonies like attacking the zora king, telling the gorons to do drugs, and appearing and disappearing every 5 seconds... but again, it forgets that I can spoil myself and know what the fuck is going on WAY before I'm supposed to.

This is turning into a little hater rant but. What I'm saying is, totk is trying to mix little parts of every game to make all of us happy, but it ends up becoming a confusing soup of unoriginality and "what the fuck in going on with this story". Its trying to make a traditional zelda game in an open world format. The most insulting part is that it tries to honour past games with taking all of their ideas,but totk's main purpose clashes with what those games are about (especially wind waker and botw) which is reinventing yourself to fit with the new generation and not holding onto the past/not obsessing over games that you got really big for (cough cough ocarina of time cough cough).

Anyway it's late and this is literally my first time trying to write out a critique about something on tumblr, so if this makes no sense pls tell me haha :)

[phantomoftheorpheum]

The Bear Season 3 Thoughts

Okay, I first want to say that obviously these are opinions! They are subjective. This is also quite a casual compilation of my thoughts, I didn't spend a long time trying to perfect my wording, which I think will be pretty evident.

Anyway, I love The Bear, I remember watching that first trailer and I was so excited for season 1 to drop, I just knew it was gonna be my kind of show. This is a show that makes me laugh, cry, stress, etc. However, like every other show in existence, it's not a perfect show, and I think season 3 in particular showcased some decisions/issues that I'm hoping will be handled a bit differently in season 4. I have some popular opinions and some unpopular opinions, but that's everyone, right?

Just a warning, this is long. I have a tendency to ramble.

*Spoilers from 1x01-3x10 of The Bear

The Good Stuff First!

The Tina Episode!!! I loved "Napkins" and even though Tina's antagonism at the beginning of season 1 was already understandable, getting these layers of her home life, the foundation of her relationship and loyalty to Michael and The Beef, her fears for her job stability, her jealousy of the opportunities of youth, etc. was just incredible. And Ayo directed it beautifully! I have cried over Tina's emotions multiple times in every season. Liza is so fantastic and can give you so much emotional complexity with her face. Gorgeous job as always. I hope they continue to spotlight her in future episodes, because she brings such a lovely balance of determination, hopefulness, warmth, and humor to her scenes.

I also loved getting to see this side of Michael in 3x06, since what we last saw of him was so, so dark. I think it's very interesting to get to see Michael through various people's eyes, because they see and remember different sides of him. The way Carmy remembers Michael is different from the way Tina does is different from the way Richie does. And that's how real relationships are. We don't show every side of ourselves to every person. I also really liked getting to see Michael talk to someone who doesn't know Carmy about Carmy, because it made me realize that Mikey very much had as incomplete of an understanding of Carmy as Carmy did of him. I think it was already very evident that Mikey cutting Carmy out was something he did as an attempt to protect him (and likely also due to shame/not wanting Carmy to know about his struggles), we've been able to gather that since season 1. And in a lot of ways, it worked. Carmy got out. He excelled, and dreamed, and learned, and succeeded. But it also damaged Carmy a lot more than I think Michael ever realized. Carmy saw it as a rejection, as not being good enough, as Michael not believing in him, and he's been trying to prove him wrong ever since (and still, clearly, is). We might be able to see what Mikey did ultimately as an act of love, but that is not how Carmy experienced it, and that's valid, too, even though Carmy's desperation for validation (which is literally impossible for him to ever earn from Michael at this point) is not an excuse for how he has treated others around him. Carmy clearly needs to find a way not to only view himself through the lens of other people's validation (or lack thereof). Easier said than done, obviously. Anyway, 3x06 was fantastic in every way and it's my favorite individual episode of the season.

In what feels like an unpopular opinion, I actually really liked 3x01. I know it was a divisive episode, and I can see where the criticisms are coming from, but I really enjoyed it. I liked the nonlinear timeline, the minimal dialogue, finally really piecing together Carmy's journey. I just enjoyed it. I also appreciate the fact that The Bear isn't a show that is afraid to try things. Sometimes those choices will land more with the audience than others, but it feels very refreshing in an age where so much of what is made plays everything incredibly, exhaustingly safe. I don't think it's a show that has ever intended to speak to everybody, and 3x01 is a good example of that. On a personal level, it ticked a lot of boxes for me as an editor, and I found myself so fascinated by the choices and time/craft that I know went into them. This was not something you see everyday, and I liked that, but I can also see why some people didn't. It really requires a lot of patience from the viewer, and it's a shift from what we're used to from this show itself.

Richie, Tiff, Frank, and Eva. Richie is such a great character, and I really liked getting a little more of a glimpse of his family situation in this season. I hope there's even more in season 4 (I hope we get to see the wedding). The amount that he has grown, while not being a completely different or perfect person (struggling with his place in his daughter's life, self doubt still being big for him, how hurt he is by Carmy's words, his stubbornness in his fight with Carmy & disagreeing with him even when he agrees just to spite him, etc.). I love how his relationships with Natalie and Sydney have grown so much. I loved watching his scene with Tiff this season, because I think it shows how far Richie has come and how much he really loves his daughter and Tiff. I also think this storyline is so relatable to a lot of people. Navigating a divorce and a new relationship with children is tough, but it's something a lot of people go through. The fact that they seem to be making it work, despite how hard it is for everyone, is really nice. And I love the showcase of "Just because you love someone a lot, that doesn't mean your romantic relationship will or should work out." Richie is just a great, beautifully flawed character.

The return of Donna. In a season where a lot of storylines were left completely up in the air, getting some kind of emotional resolution with Donna and Nat felt really important. It's not that their relationship issues are fully resolved, obviously, but the tension of "is it even possible for Natalie to have any kind of relationship with her mother?" is finally addressed. It's never going to be a perfect relationship, but there is hope in it. I've also seen this episode criticized for "nothing happening," but I think a lot happened! It's just that it happened internally. And internal progress is just as important (sometimes more important), than external progress. Watching this episode felt very cathartic to me because I felt like we got to see Nat do what Carmy cannot (in this season), which is to look at her relationship with her mother, which is not a good one, and understand that neither she nor Donna will ever be able to change the past, but they can try to move forward. It may or may not work, but they can try. And Natalie can be brave enough to open herself up for potential disappointment (and hopefully establish healthy boundaries), because the risk is worth it to her. Loved that. Both actresses were also phenomenal in this episode, imo. This is another episode that requires some patience from the viewers, but I think it is richly emotionally rewarding if you let yourself just be in it.

Olivia Coleman (Chef Terry)! I feel like that's explanation enough.

Carmy & Marcus. Personally, I haven't seen people talk about this much, but I feel like Carmy's relationship with Marcus, while only getting a small amount of time, was such a key part of the season because of how they are alike and how they are different. They're characters who are both passionate about what they do, both have a tendency to get at least a little lost in it and neglect other things/responsibilities, but Marcus has this beautiful ultimately positive outlook on life that Carmy lacks, while Carmy has the knowledge and experience that Marcus really respects and hopes to one day achieve. I feel Carmy's kindest moments of the season come during his support/mentorship of Marcus. Carmy is able to instill more confidence in Marcus, and give him space to explore, and Marcus is able to look past some of Carmy's worst character flaws and appreciate his artistry and passion. Since Carmy is so low this season, him having these encouraging/supportive moments, where we see that he did pick up some of the really good lessons in mentorship from some of the chefs he worked with (and not just the bad), with Marcus felt very important to me. While we didn't get a full Marcus-centric episode this season, I thought he was very good when we did see him. I wonder if Marcus may eventually (like possibly at the end of the show, depending on how long it runs) get an opportunity to go to an esteemed culinary school. He's always shown a lot of interest in the experimental, techincal, and academic side of the craft, as well as the artistry, so I could see him jumping at an opportunity like that.

The acting in general! Another season of fantastic performances! I really don't know what else to say about that.

The commitment to continuing to really flesh out side characters. Obviously the biggest example of this in this season is Tina, followed by Donna, but I love the small moments we get with characters like Ebra, Pete, Sweeps, Luca near the end, and even Fak (Neil).

Luca. I really like Luca and feel like he is a character with a lot of potential! I would totally be on board with him being a regular cast member. I think he has great energy and chemistry with everyone, and it was interesting to see the nerdy and less confident side of him (when surrounded by esteemed chefs), adding another dimension to his character. I feel like he already has a lot of potential to be involved in several storylines (Carmy's, Sydney's, Marcus'). I don't know if there's any chance of getting him as a regular in season 4, but I would love it. They did mention he's sticking around for a while, so I hope that's what that was foreshadowing.

A dive into Carmy's trauma/dysfunction. Okay, so I'm going to be talking a lot about Carmy in my critical section, so before we get there, I want to acknowledge what I liked about his arc (or half of one) this season. I feel like I get Carmy. I relate to a lot of his negative qualities. I, too, am a perfectionist with obsessive tendencies who has impossibly high standards for themselves. I, too, often get stuck in a negative feedback loop, where I avoid conflict and hyper-fixate on something else to justify it. I, too, struggle to open up to people in a meaningful way, to be genuinely emotionally vulnerable, and kind of shut down when I'm hurt. And I, too, know all of that about myself, can recognize it from a distant, theoretical standpoint, but still struggle to not fall into that kind of behavior when put under stress. I also have a complicated relationship with my older sibling, so there's that. I get Carmy. I have a lot of empathy for Carmy. I think he sometimes doesn't get enough credit from the fans for his positive qualities, because his negative qualities are massive, driving forces in each season. So, aside from the deep dive into the unhealthy ways we process trauma, here's what I think is positive about Carmy's arc this season- I think the writer's know what they're doing with Carmy, even if I don't totally agree with how they've paced it. For a little while, I was concerned that maybe they had lost sight of how to handle Carmy and pushed him too far, just as a character in general, but the last 2 episodes of the season reaffirmed to me that they are, at the very least, aware of how far they have pushed him, and they know exactly where they're going with him. Does that mean I agree with the pacing of this now? No, I still think this could be improved significantly, but at least it feels intentional. Maybe I'll change my mind when I see how things play out in season 4.

This is a show that cares. It isn't always perfect, but it always cares. One thing that I've seen as a criticism, I actually thought was perfect (maybe I'm the one reading the scene wrong, you can let me know your thoughts), but I saw people say that the details were sloppy this season, and specifically citing the fact that Sydney makes a fennel salad in season 1, but is served something else by Carmy due to a "fennel allergy" in this season. When I saw this in the episode, I thought it was brilliant attention to detail, because my reading of the scene was that there is no allergy, Carmy just says that so he can rebel against Chef David's orders and serve the dish the way he wants to. I assumed the fennel allergy was chosen by the writers specifically because, if we notice, it is a confirmation that Carmy is lying. I still think that's the point, but maybe I'm wrong.

Another thing I really respect about this show is that I don't think they make really many (or any) of their creative decisions based off of fan response. Now, don't get me wrong, I think there is a lot of value in flexibility and willingness to adjust when something isn't working or when it receives solid constructive criticism. I respect being able to raise your hand and say, "hey, you're right, that wasn't the best," and make a change. But I also really respect not allowing loud opinions to fundamentally change the story you're telling, just for popularity points. I think The Bear, due to a lot of attention on social media and the awards circuit, has grown past the audience that it is really made for. There are a lot of people watching (or trying to watch) who absolutely never would have if they didn't see so much chatter about it online. And that's fine! I have certainly tried shows out of my comfort zone for the same reason. Some worked for me and broadened my horizons, and some didn't. But The Bear does not seem to care about adhering to "popular" tropes, storylines, filming style, editing style, etc. just for the sake of mainstream validation. When it does do those things, it very much feels like it does so because the creatives behind the show want to, not because of external pressure. And that's going to alienate some people. That's not always going to land well. It's probably going to come off (or even just be) pretentious sometimes. But I would always rather watch something that was clearly a passion project, even if I don't really get it or it ultimately doesn't really work for me, than something designed specifically for mass appeal and without a soul. So, to me, this is a huge net positive.

The Less Good Stuff

Let's talk about the elephant in the room- "To Be Continued..." The double renewal for season 3 & 4 clearly changed their approach to the pacing/storytelling this season, and I'm not personally convinced it was for the best. I love that there's going to be a season 4, and I love that they got an opportunity to leave some big things unresolved because they knew it wasn't going to be the end, but... this really is just 3A and 3B and the fact that it ends with "To Be Continued..." means they absolutely know this, too. I guess it's better that it's an intentional choice, but it does make season 3 feel incomplete, and it doesn't really stand up on its own. It may be 10 episodes, but it is half of a story. That's not necessarily a bad thing (I think this isn't usually such a problem once it ages, because people who are watching in the future will be able to jump from season 3 straight into season 4, and it won't feel as grueling), but it is a different thing from the first two seasons. And I don't love it. Personally, I think they could have paced some of the storylines a bit differently, so we were closing a few more smaller arcs out to give the end of the season a sense of resolution, even with big things hanging over our heads. The fact that the season has left nearly every storyline completely up in the air is a bit much, imo. I think season 3 is the weakest individual season so far, and it's really all tied back to the pacing.

Okay. Time to tackle Carmy. I love Carmy. I actually, really do. He's very flawed, very layered, and feels like a fully realized human. However... I am, quite frankly, tired of Carmy being so low. I know he's the main character, and therefore a lot of the driving drama centers on him, but he's been in a downward spiral for (imo) a bit too long now, and I just need... some little ray of hope for him. The season 2 finale felt like a low, but then all of season 3 just got worse. And I am tired. I think this pacing is on purpose, but I am too tired, and I think a lot of people feel the same way. I will say, the last two episodes gave me some hope that he has seen the light (a little). I hope it will not take the entirety of season 4 to mend some of these fences and face some of his actions (I don't expect him to suddenly be a different person, but I don't want to spend 10 episodes of season 4 with him only dealing with stuff head on at the end), because he genuinely becomes difficult for me to like, despite all the empathy I have for him, by the midpoint this season. Again, I think they meant to do this, but I also, personally, think it's a little too grueling. And if this is the pacing they wanted to go with, I think it would have been nice to see at least a few more glimmers of Carmy's positive qualities, to remind us why we like him in the first place.

Carmy & Richie, Carmy & Syd, Carmy & Claire, Carmy & Nat. I think one of the reasons I'm struggling so much with Carmy throughout is that absolutely none of his closest relationships make any positive forward progress this season (this is part of the reason I feel like the Carmy & Marcus scenes were so important, because he doesn't get a lot of other vulnerable moments with anyone else this season), and, again, I think it's just a little too much. I understand that Carmy basically shutting himself off from his life is part of the arc, but I think that could have come across and still moved at least one of these relationships a little bit forward. I get why they didn't want to resolve Carmy & Claire yet (they knew they had season 4 and based on the falling out they had, there really did need to be time away from each other). I get why Carmy & Sydney are in a rough place, it's important for her storyline, and so I get that, but... Carmy & Nat are also not communicating this season. I feel like even at serious low points in previous seasons, Nat would still tell him what's what. And here's the thing, I get that she's distracted and has her own stuff to deal with, but it still stretches the believability a bit for me because the restaurant is her job, too. It's not as if she is working elsewhere and having a baby and just doesn't have time to deal with Carmy. His behavior is literally central to her job and having negative impacts on literally everyone around her. That she would just bite her tongue when this puts her and nearly everyone she cares about in a precarious position just feels off. In this season, everyone who would normally confront Carmy about his choices basically just completely give up on that after 3x02, and this feels to me like a choice made for the plot, not necessarily reflecting the established character relationships. But the big one for me that doesn't land is Carmy & Richie. Because they are handled by being separated entirely. I wish they had more scenes together. Would those scenes probably be arguments? Yeah, okay, mostly. But the fact that they basically don't speak after 3x02 takes one of the best dynamics of the show out of play for an entire season. Personally, I think Carmy & Richie reaching at least some stable ground this season could have really improved things, and given us some sense of resolution, when so many other storylines are up in the air. Even if they didn't clear the air entirely, but they came to a kind of grudging truce, that would have helped, imo. Even if all of Carmy's other relationships were still on the rocks, if we got a really cathartic, vulnerable moment between Carmy & Richie, I think it would have helped inject just a little more hope into this season.

Too many Faks (AKA, too much of a good thing). I love Fak (Neil) and I even like Ted, but I think Sammy was a bridge too far. Not only was the choice of guest star a bit too jarring, imo (it just feels like he's in a different show from everyone else? and unlike the other cameos, I was never able to let go of the fact that I was watching a celebrity), I think they spent way too much time on it. I did like the duck bit, but overall, it felt tonally off. The extended scenes about "haunting" didn't really hit with me, and I feel like Fak (and/or the Faks) is at his best in small, strange, chaotic doses. I didn't mind their uncle, though, because his scene didn't take that much time. When we finally got around to the "haunting" conversation with Carmy (about Claire), I felt like I finally understood why this whole thing was even a thing, but I also felt it was just a clunky/poorly paced way to do it. A ton of set up for minimal payoff.

Sydney. Okay, before you get upset with me, this is not me saying Sydney is bad this season, this is me saying I don't think they've totally done her character justice with the writing and pacing of this season (the, "this is really just 3A," thing strikes again). I have rewritten this section over and over because I'm really struggling to put into words what I mean here. I think the closest I can come is- I want more of Sydney's screen time to be about Sydney. I feel like a lot of her time this season went to scenes that were in service of other character's arcs. And it's not that I don't want any of those, like of course her relationships with other characters are important, and of course she can be in a scene that is mostly about someone else and that scene also be furthering her arc, I just felt like her individual arc was a little stalled out, and (basically same complaint as Carmy's, except for Sydney is much more enjoyable than him this season) due to how they paced this, it felt a bit too slow to me. However I have a lot of hopes that season 4 will be more Sydney-centric and faster paced in a lot ways, both in what we see from her, and how her choices (I am assuming that she will take the job, though I hope she doesn't leave The Bear forever) have a huge ripple effect on the other characters. I hope that means in season 4, we'll have more scenes where other character's are in service of Sydney's storyline and not the other way around. I think I completely get Sydney's storyline in 3, I just don't love the pacing of it (how many times can I say that I don't agree with season 3s pacing?). But I am so hopeful for Sydney in season 4. I think there is a ton of potential for a big showcase of Sydney growing, exploring, struggling, failing, persevering, and just generally discovering what she really wants, and I'm excited for it. I really love Ayo, and that last scene of Sydney this season gave me chills, so I am ready to see what she delivers in season 4.

The editing/pacing of the finale. Obviously I find a lot of the storylines too dragged out and slower than they should be, I've mentioned that a lot, but this is a more specific complaint about the last episode. As much as I praised The Bear earlier for having an artistic and creative vision and not compromising that for mainstream appeal, I definitely felt like the dinner at Ever could have been a lot shorter. It almost felt like, "hey, we invited all these real chefs and we don't want anyone to feel slighted, so we have to make sure to really feature all of them," and while it did relate to things Carmy & Sydney are feeling/thinking, it just dragged quite a bit. I also think some of the better lines got buried by so many different people making so many different points. It was slow. And hey, maybe this is one of those moments where the show isn't for me, and that's okay, but it doesn't make me like this scene any better.

Lack of warmth. I think one big thing missing from a lot of this season is the warmth that the first two seasons exude. Some of this is literal, the color palette at The Bear has shifted to mostly cool tones, so there is a visual coolness, but also the chaos feels cold. The chaos in the first 2 seasons had an endearing (though still stressful) quality to it, but the chaos in season 3 is largely just stressful. Again, I think this is an entirely intentional choice. It wants the atmosphere to feel clinical and impersonal and detached, it is reflective of Carmy's mental state, but the loss of that vibe just makes the show less fun, imo. And yes, the show is not about fun, but the higher highs of seasons 1 and 2 gave some much needed levity and contrast to the lows.

The Stuff I'm (Theoretically) Neutral About

Claire. It seems like everybody on the planet has a strong opinion about Claire. They hate her, think she's the worst/most boring character ever. Or they love her. Or they feel the need to fundamentally pit her and Sydney against each other and use one to tear down the other. Or they complain about her even existing. I don't mind Claire. I don't love Claire. I don't hate Claire. I still haven't passed judgement on Claire as an individual character. That feels like an unpopular opinion to have. Is anybody else neutral on Claire? I think she plays an important role to what they decided to do in season 2. She is Carmy's dream girl, she's been Carmy's dream girl for years. I think Claire is the living, breathing example that we get to see in real time of how Carmy romanticizes people that he feels intensely emotional about, and fails to see fully realized versions of them. He did it to Mikey, and then he does it to Claire. Imo, she seems "perfect" and 2 dimensional in season 2 because we only see her through Carmy's eyes, and he's romanticizing her and their relationship. I don't mind that in season 2. And she's barely in season 3 (even when we do see her, a lot of it is flashback and so is still solely through Carmy's eyes), so I don't feel like I can make any new judgments of her character. I think she genuinely is a nice, lovely person, and whether or not she interests me as a character is still up in the air. If she begins to play a larger, more present role in the narrative individually, then I'll expect them to reveal more layers to her. For now, I'm neutral. I'm not super for or against her. This kind of leads into my next point, which is-

Shipping. I'm not against shipping for this show, and romantic love is a dynamic that is great to explore. I'm just not personally all that invested in romance in this show in general. So, like, I love it from the standpoint of how it reveals things about the characters (like the scene with Richie and Tiff where we see Richie's familial love overcome the pain of his romantic love not working, or the lovely background stuff with Tina and her husband) and how it fits into character's overall arcs, and I'm open to exploring different romantic dynamics with different characters, I just don't feel super strongly about who those characters should be. It's very much on the back burner of my mind. I think they're definitely setting up Richie & Jess for something in that regard, that feels like a question that needs to be answered (even if the answer is no). I can see little hints towards several potential relationships, and I'm willing to walk down any path they want to go in this regard, as long as the show stays what it is and doesn't become a clichéd romantic drama (I don't think it will), but I just don't have strong feelings around this. That's open to change, but that's where I'm at right now.

My Season 4 Hopes

The Bear. I have some specific hopes for the restaurant. I think it's quite evident that things can't stay the same. What Carmy is trying to do is completely unsustainable. I do hope the restaurant is able to stay open (like it would be quite sad to lose the place, after so much work to keep it open and improve, etc.), but I also hope it goes through some major changes, obviously in the way it's run, but also in the way it looks. There's a gorgeous shot of Richie and Carmy in the penultimate episode, with Carmy in the kitchen and Richie in the dining room, and it is absolutely stunning. And it is also absolutely blue. Ever's light is very cold as well, and I don't mind that for that restaurant, but when we meet The Beef, it's this warm, chaotic, dirty, ugly mess. But it's also got a soul. The Bear in season 3 feels soulless, a lot of the time. And the shift from the warm yellow dominant tones of the first two seasons, to the cool blue dominant tones of season 3 creates this kind... unwelcoming feeling to viewers. Sure, it's intentional, absolutely, but I hope it isn't just going to be like this moving forward. I think the restaurant needs to stop trying to be Ever, stop trying to be all these other places Carmy has worked at, and get to some middle ground. Not quite The Beef, but also not quite The Bear (as we know it right now). Which, honestly, is what Carmy needs as well. I think there's a lovely opportunity to physically shift aspects of the restaurant to match Carmy's internal journey, which will hopefully have some positive movement in season 4.

Sydney-centric plot! As previously mentioned, I have a lot of hopes for how Sydney's storyline is going to go, and I hope we get to see more elements to her story, because even though she had a lot of screen time, so much of that is devoted to just building her frustration, but very little outside of that.

Cicero episode. Oliver Platt is awesome, and with the little bits we got about Cicero's money troubles, and how much he loves the Berzatto kids, I think I would really enjoy a Cicero episode.

A second character focused episode. There are a lot of options for this, but I want at least two episodes that spotlight character who we haven't gotten to see too much of yet.

Carmy sees the light, and not in the season 4 finale. I just think we need to start building him back up ASAP (doesn't have to be linear progress, but I gotta see something), because his season 3 was completely grueling and exhausting to watch.

Richie & the wedding. I love Richie's dynamics with his family, and I think this would be really fun. Particularly since it might be a chance to see a lot of the main characters gathered at a non-work related event (I don't know how close Tiff is various characters, but based on the Christmas episode, she has some kind of relationship with a lot of them, plus Tina mentions going to a Berzatto Christmas in season 1). The wedding feels like it could be an incredibly fun bottle episode.

If you're still here, hi and thanks for reading my very informal, very off the top of my head thoughts. I definitely feel like this season has been quite divisive and while I certainly have my criticisms, I feel like how they stick the landing in season 4 (or don't) will, in the more long term view, ultimately play a big part in how I feel about season 3.

As always, shoot me an ask if you've got thoughts to share!

[meloartist]

my sandman fic masterlist

hello yeah so basically everything i write and draw about sandman takes place in this AU that's been continually developed since, like, 2018. only a small fraction of said AU is actually written down, but it's still a lot of fics, so i wanted to make one big navigational post

this post will be updated as i write more, so if you rb this for later, pls check back on this original post! i might totally reorganize this lol

the series mainly focuses on lucifer, dream, and mazikeen throughout sandman (1989), lucifer (2000), and lucifer (2016) comic series, occasionally snagging parts from hellblazer, sandman tv, and other stuff.

want just one link to the whole AU? please enjoy the full series on AO3!

for completeness, i've tagged fics until multiple headings if relevant to multiple relationships.

dream / lucifer

during/after season of mists (#23)

escape velocity (16k+) main storyline of my sandman AU, early-mid sandman. lucifer passes out in season of mists instead of walking away.

collision course (16,026+) [NSFW] main storyline of my sandman AU, early-mid sandman. lucifer and dream start to establish a relationship.

care (1605) takes place during escape velocity. lucifer has feelings about his life.

post-sandman (major spoilers)

not bad, just weird (4169) [most popular of all my fics!] the fic that originally kicked it all off! summarizes dream and lucifer's relationship. written much earlier than everything else, so there are some details that are a bit different in later pieces

post-sandman, lucifer (2000), and lucifer (2016) (major spoilers)

privilege of wings (4579) [NSFW] [personal fav] sort of a study on dream's interactions with lucifer's wings

arms unfolding (5507) [personal fav] montage of how dream sees the events of lucifer (2000), and them renegotiating their relationship after lucifer (2016)

promises (2236) how dream reacts to the end of lucifer (2000), more in-depth

nonlinear (521) recovery isn't linear, lucifer. but that's okay.

shared dreams (1394) exploring lucifer's dreams with other characters

rematch (551) lucifer and dream have a sweet moment replaying the oldest game

idiot jar (237) "i'm starting an idiot jar" prompt

wake-up call (502) lucifer wakes up and makes it everyone else's problem. dream/maze/lucifer

mazikeen / lucifer

during sandman

pavor nocturnus (3735) lucifer has nightmares while dream is imprisoned.

post-sandman, post-lucifer (2000), during/after lucifer (2016)

fragile feathers, bring me home (1689) [personal fav] lucifer's wings need grooming. relationship study that's also about mazikeen's anger at lucifer during the 2016 series.

what do you want? (1450) relationship study: mazikeen convinces lucifer she loves him

shared dreams (1394) exploring lucifer's dreams with other characters

never again (466) lucifer is traumatized about hell actually

edelweiss (384) mazikeen asks lucifer to call her something nice.

desecration (444) the lilim have interesting marriage rituals

in nox (487) mazikeen has a bar, after the end of lucifer (2016). this is hilarious actually

wake-up call (502) feat. dream lucifer wakes up and makes it everyone else's problem. dream/maze/lucifer

john constantine / lucifer

what hath night to do with sleep? (509) lucifer has nightmares. john understands.

the tender type (425) just a short fic about john and lucifer's relationship and how they treat each other

shared dreams (1394) exploring lucifer's dreams with other characters

michael & lucifer

awake, arise, or be for ever fall'n (1039) the first time michael sees lucifer in ten billion years, it is at the wake.

mutual annihilation (100) drabble about yggdrasil

shared dreams (1394) exploring lucifer's dreams with other characters

[isabeljkim]

What the hell is going on with Day Ten Thousand:

Day Ten Thousand was weird enough that I felt like it deserved directors commentary, even though I’ve stopped explaining myself mostly except when I do.

Here’s a disclaimer before we begin: don’t read too much into it. I've noticed our culture wants to explain young womens’ art as some sort of public confessional booth and our current culture has a fetish for the autobiographical. Fuck that. I didn’t write three different POVs and three interlocking nonlinear narratives about the nature of storytelling as a psychic technology to be told that my writing isn’t a calculated Craft with a capital C. Now whether it is good Craft is a decision for you, not for me. 

Anyway. 

Day Ten Thousand is a satire of an Isabel story by way of Vonnegut pastiche. We’ll come back to this. 

I called Day Ten Thousand “psychoanalysis bait” on twitter so I shall put all my cards on the table so that your psychoanalysis is at least accurate. Note that these are only my cards, because other people deserve their privacy. I guess you could probably Google all of this but like, jeez. Don’t.

I had a pretty regular time in college except for the tangential deaths. 

When I was twenty, I was the opinion editor for my university newspaper and a girl who was a friend of a friend killed herself by walking in front of a subway. There was then a sort of a small suicide bubble which was a little bit public because we were an Ivy, and one of my opinion columnists was kinda suicidal, and I, without any training, ended up in charge of writing a front page editorial about the mental health crisis on campus on account of the dead kids, etc, and talk to administration about the dead kids. 

I hate talking about dead kids. Don’t ask me about it, or about the reporting. I don’t want to talk about it. 

The whole thing sucked shit and it’s why I’m a lawyer now and not a reporter. 

If this was a story that would be the only fact, but this is reality so I have to mention that a couple years later a guy I knew got literally hate crimed and murdered in a forest. I found out about that because I saw his friend crying in public and didn’t stop to ask what was wrong. Later I heard about this in the news, and realized my acquaintance had been Literally Fucking Murdered. A few months ago I had been arguing with him in the literary magazine editors meeting about whether a poem was good or not. I think he won that argument. Then he was murdered for being gay. 

These were my introductions to the specific emotion of “sometimes people die and you don’t feel like you get to feel bad about their deaths and you still think about it a couple times a month seven years later.” 

You can probably guess where the subject material of this story came from.

Day Ten Thousand was a story about inevitable deaths, and the difference between a death in a story and a death in reality, and about…the way a death marks a narrative and a real life and how it becomes fictionalized over time. I also saw a clean way to finally do my deep time / far future story, which was something I had been thinking about on and off for a couple of years (the original version was about a shaman in the deep-time era who has a vision about having to do a murder re: preserving genetic material for the future, but it never really gelled in a way that made sense). 

I had also been wanting to write something a little metafictional, because I felt like I was writing the same story over and over (if you’ve noticed my stuff getting weirder, that’s why. I was on a bit of an experimentalist kick late last year and early this year). 

So it’s a satire of an Isabel story. I’m self-aware enough to note my obvious recurring motifs: time travel, dead people, grief, people who have a weird relationship to each other, a third-act twist, the tendency to punctuate with in-universe facts to imply emotion, to tell x in order to show y, egregious and blatant use of the second person. And then there’s the stuff that you wouldn’t know, but I do: I dislike writing in the first person, I wanted to do something nonlinear, I think a lot about stories about stories, about the idea of a story as a technology, I find myself dropped into recursive fate-like thought patterns. So a lot of this story is both my self-deprecating poking fun at myself and my habits, and also my thesis statement about…what is the point of fiction if not to make sense of the past and the future, I suppose.

The reason it is a Vonnegut pastiche is because I like Vonnegut a lot and I was trying to do something Slaughterhouse-5-ish with drastically less fucked source material. Sorry Kurt. 

There are three stories happening in Day Ten Thousand, and a secret fourth story. Each story is a suicide loop. The protagonist is trying to break a specific loop by telling a story. This story is about accepting what you have to, and changing what you can. This is a story about letting go and also not letting go. The emotional range of each narrative affects the other psychically, because by changing the vibe of the metanarrative, the individual narratives are allowed to change. 

The story in the archaic is a story that is being told postmortem, it is all hypotheticals based on fact. The story in the future is a singular narrative happening in real time until it isn't. And the story in the present is a guy telling the story about the future, which requires him to tell the story about the past as well, and mostly what Dave is doing here is avoiding the question, but it reflects how Dave thinks about the girl dying in front of the train. 

Does that make sense? No? That’s fair. That’s a postmortem explanation of what actually happened. What actually happened is that I rewrote Day Ten Thousand six times, each time more frustrating than the last, each time with the neutral-ish narrator taking up more and more air. And over time the narrator became a participant, and that’s what created the secret fourth story between “you” and the narrator. 

I had thought there were only three loops that needed to be escaped - the past (archaic, pinned story), and the future (space station, mutable fact), and that the present (the narrator’s world) was something that was static (pinned fact). After all, the girl’s already dead. She’s already stepped in front of the train. 

But the narrator isn’t doing so hot. The narrator is also Dave. And the narrator is telling the story to someone. Somewhere between version one and version six, I realized the only version of this story that makes sense is the one where the story is a conversation, and that you and I, as the narrator and the person at the other end, were also in a loop. 

So. That's whats happening.

I’m not sure if I love the ending. But I rewrote it six times and this one felt as final as it is going to get. I am done reinventing the fucking wheel. You know how it is with spaghetti. Promise I’ll write you something normal next time, I think I’ve gotten the avant- garde out of my system for a few months. 

And hey, I know I said all cards on the table but people deserve their privacy and that includes the kid i used to be when I was twenty, sitting in the shitty little windowless opinion column office, writing about suicide. 

Anyway. Day Ten Thousand is about stuff and things. Themes. So it goes. 

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you later. 

If that was too depressing for you, here are some fun facts: 

The main character is Dave after 2001: A Space Odyssey because I had wanted to make a “I’m sorry Dave I can’t do that” joke, but I couldn’t shove it in :( 

I just thought that phlebotomist was a funny word but I also fucked myself because I misspelled it every time. 

I reread half of Slaughterhouse Five to write this but then my copy got returned to the library automatically so I didn’t finish it. (yes, I’ve read it before, like three times)  

I took one single evolutionary anthropology course in college and it shows.  

I did end up looking at the wikipedia page for “the wheel” for this and then wondering exactly what I was doing with my life. 

About half the facts in this are real, and I read a couple of papers for a couple of things in it (that I promptly then ignored), but the rockets-rome-horse’s ass thing is specifically a story that my friend Max H. likes to tell. 

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

Hi I was wondering if you could make a fic rec list of any odesta fics where they meet as kids or are childhood friends, im such a sucker for the trope !! Ty

Yeah I think I know some with that trope! Hopefully some of these will be what you want :)

perfect sandcastles by romantime - This is such a cute story of odesta as kids, it's really sweet and captures their youth so well. Even though they're young, they're still smart and there's a lot of charm to it. Definitely check this one out!

Three-Line Fic Thursday - 2013 (20/52) by aimmyarrowshigh - This is a really short one (as you can probably tell from the title) but it's so cute and heartwrenching at the same time. It can convey so much in just a few words, which is what I really like about it.

And she does not know which way to steer by ashen_key - This is a lovely one that has Finnick and Annie meeting in childhood then goes up to past Annie's Games. I would definitely recommend checking it out, I also like the 5+1 things structure.

A little houseboat in the Marina Del Rey (could the words ever be unspoken?) by AmeliaAndreas3 - What I love about this one is the effortless and smooth way D4 worldbuilding is incorporated. It starts off with Finnick and Annie as kids, and you can just feel how vivid the world of D4 is and how familiar they are with it. It's a very sweet story, and has a nice little scene at the end closer to the time of canon.

struck by lightning by dancingonmoonbeams - Okay this one is so beautiful because it starts out really sweet when they are young then gets more poignant as they get older. I love the repeated storm motif and how certain lines of dialogue are repeated, it adds some really nice continuity and shows how Finnick and Annie's past shapes their present.

victor victorious by winterbones - This is a really cool and touching one. It starts when Finnick wins his Games but it's in a cool nonlinear narrative style, so it has bits of his childhood weaved in there. It's really well done so I'd suggest giving it a try!

Deep Within the Blue by lovelyleias - I know this one doesn't totally fit your request but I felt the need to include it because of how fitting it is. It's a vignette-style take on Annie's life (with snippets of her childhood) and the writing conveys so much in so few words. I love this one.

I've also written a few childhood odesta works that you might be interested in checking out.

That's about all I have, so feel free to reblog if you have self promo or other recs!

[lryghe]

MXTX thoughts; conventions

The long awaited (not) analysis of MXTX conventions is here! I’ve literally been meaning to talk about this for months but it got sidelined in favour of vicious arguing on PDB about MBTI. Anyways! Obviously this post will contain spoilers, and something I wanted to touch on was 3rd person limited in MXTX, but I already have a post on that here, so feel free to check that out for a better explanation of it. Beware of mediocre analysis ahead, I’m a little rusty (also shoutout to the person who liked some of my posts this morning, you reminded me to actually write something!).

THE AGENDA since this post is long:

Non-linear storylines

Dying and resurrection

Colour symbolism

Character tropes

NON-LINEAR STORYLINES

An interesting thing that follows MXTX’s more thought out works, is the non-linear plotlines she follows in them. This itself is a really good convention of writing in general, especially if it’s done well, and I can safely say that MXTX did it astoundingly well in TGCF. The clear cuts between time periods in relation to each book is an incredible feat, and is something that easily trumps MXTX's other examples of non-linear storylines. Through the use of the jumping back and forth in time, specifically in TGCF, creates an excellent cause and effect, something that is definitely central to the novel. Everything done has an effect, whether that be on the continuation of the plot, or even as a characterisation point, so the non-linear narrative cements that sense of foreboding hanging over everything. A simple sentence said when Xie Lian 17 somehow amounts to a complete upheaval of the heavens 800 years later, unveiling a conspiracy well over 2000 years old. A friendship group dissolving due to difficult circumstances results in a really horrific friendship confession later in the novel. Shi Wudu trying to save his sibling ends his own demise, the crippling of said sibling, and a vengeful ghost with nothing to do anymore. This nonlinear storyline is definitely used in MDZS as well, but I found it a bit more complex, and actually, now that I think about it, is a really good reflection of Wei Wuxian in general. The thing with MXTX, is that all her novels are in 3rd person limited, so they follow our protagonist in 3rd person, but it’s tinged with their own personal views and biases that limit the omniscience of 3rd person. And with MDZS it would be a fair assessment to say that the unordered mess of time leaps in the novel are an excellent indication of Wei Wuxian’s bias leaking through the 3rd person. The incessant jumping is difficult to follow in places (don’t say otherwise), but it’s actually a genius idea because it’s an accurate assessment of the thought process that Wei Wuxian probably follows anyway. I wouldn’t say that this was definitely on purpose however, as MDZS was written before TGCF, so it could just be MXTX growing alongside her writing, but hey, maybe it is a stroke of complete and beautiful genius! Don’t bother mentioning SVSSS, it’s definitely an interesting novel, but it’s not non-linear, at least not as wholly as MDZS and TGCF are. The most you’ll get in SVSSS is like a two line flashback, plus the extra’s, but I think that’s a reflection of when MXTX wrote it.

DYING AND RESURRECTION

Moving on from serious conventions, MXTX’s trope with one of the main characters dying and then coming back later is a really funny kind of convention, because it’s not funny in the moment obviously, but the fact that it’s done at least once per novel is hilarious. Wei Wuxian’s initial resurrection after 13 years of being dead, Shen Qingqiu’s return in his plant body 5 years later, and then his return back to his ‘original’ body, and Hua Cheng’s little death defying stunt at the end of the novel. Then there’s the use of cliffs and such, like Binghe’s fall into the Abyss, Hua Cheng’s fall off that wall (forgive me its been like 3 years since I read TGCF), and if we’re being inclusive, then there’s always Wei Wuxian’s death in The Untamed. Maybe there’s a hidden meaning in there somewhere, but it’s fine to look at it from a surface level, which amounts to ‘MXTX got bored and needed some drama’. A perfectly reasonable deduction. 

COLOUR SYMBOLISM

Another thing I wanted to touch on was the colour symbolism that MXTX uses because I think it’s pretty cool, AND it has the added benefits of adding symbolism and contrast to each novel's main character and their love interest. It’s mentioned in the novel’s obviously, but it really shines in fan content and fanarts. I like the symbolism of Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu’s robes both being green before the time-skip, because Luo Binghe was a disciple at the time and a little white lotus, so the green was used to directly align him with Shen Qingqiu. After the timeskip he’s obviously got his big boy pants on and swapped to a stunning black and red ensemble, fitting of the protagonist, and that itself contrasts Shen Qingqiu’s majestic and lofty green robes, because Binghe means business with this fit. A fun thought is how green and red fit together on the colour spectrum, because they don’t, they’re contrasting colours which is some real obvious symbolism. Do I really need to spell out Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian? I feel like this one is rudimentary. White equals noble and virtuous, pure and holy, and black is evil, demonic, cruel, and scary. Simple! And Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s red and white are a very cute mixture, because although it gives them a Bingqiu style christmas tree vibe, it’s interesting in comparison to the previous two love interest and main character dynamics, considering red and white are a lot more complimentary than black and white or red and green. And it’s a testament to how similar Hualian are with their complimentary robes, how like-minded they are throughout the novel, especially considering their predecessors. Or maybe I’m overthinking it, who knows?

CHARACTER TROPES

In regards to tropes of MXTX, I think her character tropes are incredible and have the addition of being really funny. She’s consistent enough with her conventions that clear links can be drawn with her side characters across all 3 novels. To begin with, there’s Mr Angry. I think you can guess who that is, but it's Jiang Cheng, Liu Qingge, and Mu Qing. All have a really close relationship with their related main character, all are angry or harsh where they probably didn't need to be, and all three are good fighters. Then there’s the guy who’s always smiling, like Yue Qingyuan or Lan Xichen. Complacency is a key part of their characters, and excuses aside, it’s interesting how it played out. You could argue for Jun Wu to be a part of this circle, but I’ll keep that to myself. Finally, there’s the fodder characters, only useful to further the plot in a miniscule way. Gongyi Xiao (MAY HE REST WELL), Xiao Xingchen, and once again, I don’t have a very good TGCF equivalent. Gongyi Xiao dies after the events of the water prison, and Xiao Xingchen was really just there to highlight how fucked up Xue Yang was. Rest in peace our beloved fodder, especially Gongyi Xiao, MXTX should have treated you better…

I think I’ve typed myself out honestly. Kudos to whoever reached the end of this post, I haven’t written this much since my Team 7 analysis when I got back into my Naruto phase briefly.

Word count: 1271

Reading time: 4 ½ mins

[zahri-melitor]

Tom King's Batman (#1-85 2016)

And done.

I have a lot of thoughts about this as a contained run, because King clearly had some overarching goals and plotlines he wanted to tell through all of this, but equally I often had a difficult time trying to keep track of which plot he was working on and whether the story he was busy telling actually had direction.

Because one side of it was King having a lot of fun writing Bruce/Selina, and considering it in terms of their longterm relationship, all the way back to the Golden Age, with lots of references to previous events that may only be of dubious canonicity now, to pull out old events and point to them again, to show why they would reach this point that they might consider getting married.

And then dealing with the fact that editorial wouldn't let him have Bruce & Selina get married, because we were still firmly mired in Dan Didio Doesn't Believe Superheroes Should Have Permanent Happiness, but decidedly not actually breaking them up and having them just have a separation on page for a year or so (half of it in Batman spent in the middle of dream sequences revolving around the wedding) until people stopped breath down his neck, then... having Bruce and Selina running around like a couple again together.

And on the other hand, he is writing an over-complicated plot where Bane once again compares himself to Bruce and sets himself up in opposition; but this time he does it using, among others, Bruce's failures (and perceived failures) over handling Henry and Claire Clover (and their parallels to Bruce's origin story) as well as Flashpoint!Thomas Wayne (and bringing all of the Flashpoint and associated sequels storytelling into this) while not digging into the old Bane Half-Brothers story but existing in a universe where I had to wonder if Flashpoint!Thomas Wayne did know about the Bane Half-Brothers theory in his own universe.

And lining these two overarching plot threads up against each other: I think King had a bit of trouble navigating keeping both plots moving forward, particularly given the fact he really seems to enjoy telling nonlinear stories. He loves jumping around the narrative and hiding things and then showing them to you later too much.

Which can be interesting! Dropping people into the narrative and bypassing the setup and showing it later, using different styles of storytelling (flashbacks, dream sequences, asynchronous storytelling) can have fun effects in moderation, particularly in how it allows him to conceal things characters know and set up issue cliffhangers for effect. But I found it overused in the run, to the point when I had a number of occasions where I had difficulty picking up what had just happened, and why we were now in a 7 issue dream sequence.

It also slowed the story down significantly, in terms of moving the plot forward.

The other thing that really jumps out to me about the run is King's fondness for repurposing stories and mythology and setting up parallels. He likes referencing and adapting material and using it for the story he wants to tell, in what felt to me like quite a transformative-fandom style approach to storytelling. Examples of this included:-

Henry and Claire Clover's childhood shooting v Bruce's (and their similar yet different reactions to it)

Batman #38, aka "Tom King redoes Gotham Knights #1' and the child who killed his parents

Batman Annual #4 2016: where Everyday is just another version of Gotham Knights #32's 24/7 and what Batman does with his time

Batman #9, where he lines Bane's childhood up with its appearances in Batman: Vengeance of Bane #1

Batman #36 & #37: the Bruce/Selina and Clark/Lois double dates, which very much felt in conversation with their Hush appearances among others and I swear the elevator scene is a reference to an event during post-Crisis where Selina arrives on the scene in a Justice League story via the elevator shaft, but can I remember where?

The Animals in the Pit by Nikolaevich Afanasyev, which originally appears in Batman #57 and then continues appearing sporadically throughout

Batman #51-52 Cold Days, the jury trial two parter, which not only felt to me like King arguing with the perception that vigilantes contaminated evidence and his view that if Bruce sees Batman as above the law he cannot do the work, but also felt in conversation with Bruce Wayne: Murderer in a number of aspects

Rules of Engagement, Batman #33-35, which was not only the Selina v Talia face off and the kids dealing with the fact that Bruce was getting married, but also felt in conversation with a lot of the classic movie and novel depictions of the Bedouin that King was clearly drawing from in his perception of Ra's and the League (and say what you will, acknowledging the Lawrence of Arabia links to Al Ghul storytelling and the literary tradition surrounding it is better than shoving them in a drawer and ignoring it)

Overall, I think my perception of the run as a whole is 'bit off a bit more than it could chew' and 'needed a more linear plotline'. There are a lot of stories and arcs within it that I either enjoyed or appreciated the intent and references (even if I thought the story had been done better elsewhere). My major problem was that the connections between storylines were not solid enough despite having a through plot, to the point I found myself lost on a number of occasions where I felt I'd missed an issue confirming how we got from A to C.

A lot of the stand alones and two parters are solid in a way that you can pull them out and hand them to someone who doesn't want to get invested in 85 issues of storyline. It's not quite the level of 'writing for social media panel sharing' that you see pop up more frequently in recent years, but instead feels more like allowing casuals to drop in for a story at least once a year when they heard the hype.

I think I would recommend taking a look at the run under a qualification that it is absolutely worth dipping into for the bunch of the storylines that do not involve Bane or Flashpoint!Thomas Wayne plots. There are scattered issues in the Bane arcs that I do think were interesting, but generally that storyline I found less riveting and more 'waiting until we got back to the interstitial other stories'.

I actually think it would be one to pick and choose what stories you think sound interesting and drop in for them, because while you might end up a bit confused about the overarching arc, reading the whole thing doesn't necessarily fix that as a problem.

[planetamarte]

probably too soon to be thinking about this but i hope shadow gens is like. sega's way of establishing shadow's past for newer fans and the modern era so they can focus on his Present in future media. they've been focusing on his Past since 2001, there's only so much more they can milk out of it. i know what is essentially a mascot character for a big franchise can't get much more character development than what he already got in his first few years, but considering its been 18 real years since he "moved on" in shadow 05, i wanna see more of what the present looks like for him. like alright, our guy went thru his arc of overcoming trauma and coming to terms with his past, so what does his life look like currently? what's he up to, regarding both his mission to protect the planet and outside of that? i can only hope shadow gens will show us some of this kinda stuff, if not in the future.

(the twitter takeovers give us a taste of his day-to-day life with his little comments about the soup kitchen and local convenience stores and the fact that he raises a dark chao - murder of sonic was really good with this too, with the concert tickets bit and his like of chocolate - but i wanna see more of it in a serious and unambiguously canon context yknow?)

sonic team also has a REALLY good chance here to tell a story with shadow about recovery being nonlinear, whether it be in shadow gens or something else in the future. i doubt shadow hasn't relapsed and fallen into slumps where his mental health feels like his worst all over again. i wanna see what it looks like for him to get into slumps like that and come out of them. if they really wanted to they could use this to course-correct his character inconsistencies; tell a story about how ptsd episodes can cause someone to isolate themselves and seem like a completely different person. how the smallest seeming things can trigger someone into episodes like that. my amount of faith in sonic team to actually do something like this is a swinging pendulum, maybe i want a bit too much from canon. those are other topics entirely but it doesn't hurt to hope n i'll sit here n think about this stuff anyway <3

i want shadow to be more than just his Past, essentially. i want his character to be more than just fulfilling maria's wish; him coming to terms with being his own independent person means nothing if he's holding onto her ghost forever, like he's haunting her instead of her doing it to him. regarding the idea of a narrative about nonlinear ptsd recovery, something that goes hand in hand with that is what healing actually looks like. i think a wonderful example of that combined with something from his day-to-day life is the december 2023 sonic channel art of him:

purely headcanon here but i like the idea that this piece isn't him just thinking of maria, but that it's the first time he thinks of her in a while and it doesn't sting like it would've before. maria and shadow's past will always be important to him, it isn't to say i want it all to be disregarded completely. i just want it to be regarded more in a way like this, yknow? maybe he'll fall into an episode that fucks him up every once in a while, but with time they become less frequent and eventually he can think of the past with more acceptance while focusing on the present.

[clementineofmine]

For the ask game :)

Same Weird Family (the series): 1, 4, 5, & 9

Thanks, @assaily, for the ask! I'm going to answer this based on Same Weird Family, the first in the series because I haven't gotten to talk about that one yet. It's the first fic I wrote (that you know of, lol) so while I now find parts of it a bit rough, it'll always be near and dear to me as it came about due to a visceral need to word vomit about these characters.

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I started this fic a few weeks after S2, and like many I was absolutely inspired by the absolute savagery and increasing desperation of Five in that season. From killing the board to rewinding time, Five did so much for his family that season and none of them knew about it. Plus, the season ended in a new timeline, so the "what's going to happen next?" opportunities were almost endless.

I was also deeply inspired by those who took a stab at post S2 before me, including but definitely not limited to NonLinear Theory for Dummies, The Walls Kept Tumbling Down, Creeping Towards Extinction, and Tangled in the Hanging Tree. If you haven't read these and you like my fic, you're going to love these. They are all angsty and excellent.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I'm gonna call out Allison here, because while she didn't get a lot of focus in this fic, I think she deserves a chance to yell at her brothers more often.

“Well, if we can’t take him to the hospital-” Allison’s words returned them to the practical matters. She looked around as Diego and Luther both shook their heads at her as confirmation. Vanya looked torn but didn’t disagree. Klaus remained focused on Five. “-we’ll have to watch him. We’ll take shifts.” “Oh boy, Five’ll just love that,” Diego scoffed. “He’s unconscious. He’ll deal,” Allison pointed out, closing the discussion. She finished cleaning up Five’s injuries and straightened his clothes. “And if you guys are done with playing pissing contest,“ she gave a pointed look to both Diego and Luther, “you can help me get him upstairs to the bedroom."

5: What part was hardest to write?

Chapters 1-6 and part of 7 came at me fast and furious, but I floundered a bit trying to get through 7 and 8 to the end. I think the writing is a bit awkward and it does make me cringe a bit.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not alternate versions so much as I did a lot of rewriting (I'm a pantser; I try to let my characters speak and sometimes they surprise me)

If you'll permit me to tag onto your ask, I'd also like to answer 3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I spent a lot of time dissecting Five's internal emotions during this fic, trying to make sense of what drives Five - the anger and frustration and desperation that we saw on screen in S2, and beyond. I'm quite proud of some of it. Here's a snip:

“FIVE!” The shout cleaved him violently from his thoughts. Five blinked, confused, and looked up. His mind registered that his name had possibly been said more than once.  Oh, he remembered, almost absently. His siblings were pestering him.  Five sighed. All of the energy that had once fueled his rage was gone, drained away as quickly as it had spiraled up. Anger merely simmered now, rather than burned. He no longer felt dizzy, just…tired. In the clarity of hindsight, Five knew he hadn’t ever really been angry at his siblings. Annoyed, sure. Frustrated. But anger was reserved for the fact that Luther and Diego’s questions dragged things out of the little box, things that snagged and pulled at the cracks and exposed his weakness. For the memory of the light fading out of Klaus’s eyes, reaching for Five but still dead before he hit the ground. For the way that Vanya’s body crumpled like a discarded paper doll. Mostly, Five’s anger was directed at himself. For being played, and not figuring out the only possible end to the Handler’s deal until it was much too late. If he had been thinking clearly. If he only… Stop, Five. There’s no good destination down that road. “Five, we just want to help you” the soft voice said. He still didn’t care to pick out its owner. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t bear to keep listening. His siblings had died because of him. Again. And everything that happened afterwards – his survival, his thoughts, his actions – he could give them everything and still would never be enough to make it up to them. Never. 

fic ask game