#it's crazy how much my mom doesn't care abt me

[chrisbangs]

lol

[dan-crimes]

I gotta complain abt being a picky eater here for a sec cuz I'm lookin @ all this stuff on the breakfast menu and there's always the SAME ingredients in all these SAME food items and it would be SO much easier if I could just order food without having to think of all the stuff I DON'T want on my food cuz I always gotta put in so much effort to look into every single ingredient in every since food item that I order bcuz I DON'T LIKE MOST FOODS !!! SMHH !!

[moonastroellie]

i looovvee the song daddy issues by the neighborhood (definitely does not say anything abt me) do you think you could make headcannons inspired by the song?

where reader has never been taken care of but ellie come along and like heals her ig? 😏

Hell yeah

warnings: 18+, these are going to get dark, mentions of childhood trauma, abusive parents, panic attacks, mentions of murder, trans! Ellie.

- Ellie met you in her shared dorm with you and Dina, after you had a panic attack crying on the ground after you accidentally broke Dina's favourite cup.

"hey, hey, are you okay?" Ellie kneels down next to you, and caresses your hair gently as you sob and rant on about how you broke Dina's favourite cup, "it's okay- I promise, she doesn't care"

"are you sure?" sobs continue to leave your mouth as Ellie sits next to you leaning against the wall "I promise"

- Ellie who asked you about what you were thinking about, while you were both studying together.

"what are you thinking about, hon?" she questions, you shrug, trying to brush it off, "if I told you what I was thinking about you'd think I was insane" Ellie laughs "you couldn't say a single thing to me that would make me think you're insane"

"I killed someone" you joke and a choked out "what" leaves Ellie's lips "I'm fucking joking!" you say as soon as you realise she didn't think you were joking.

"I think I like you" and just like that, you and Ellie began dating—not only this, but this is when all your past trauma started taking effect on your relationship.

- Ellie who comforted you whenever you thought you did something wrong. she knew there was something deeper that you weren't telling her but never pushed you to say anything if you weren't ready-

- Ellie who sat and listened to you whenever you needed to rant, and in fact. it was the first time you ever opened up to Ellie.

"this is how my story begins and I don't ever wanna tell the story again" you cry as tears drip down your face "it's okay, you can cry- I'm here for you" you immediately find comfort in Ellie's lap.

"and my dad? fuck he was crazy, he was never present- he cheated on mom so many fucking times and i- he used to yell at me for leaving a light on, that's fucking insane am I right?" ranting on and on, Ellie didn't once turn her attention to something else. it was on you and only you.

- Ellie who pushed you out of your comfort zone to make more friends and learn that not all people are bad, she knew you had social anxiety due to growing up with your parents who never taught you how to communicate properly.

"I'd do whatever I can do to protect you, you know that right?" Ellie says as she places her hand on your thigh, as she drives to Jesse's place. you smile and nod, leaning on her shoulder as she drives.

- Ellie who watched you have a panic attack over eating the last brownie, that was in fact her brownie. "I don't care, it's not the end of the world babe, it's just a brownie" she chuckles, this doesn't calm you down once—ellie realises this and hugs you tight "it's okay"

"my dad left money in mom's hands but I always felt bad for eating the last food because maybe Mom doesn't have enough money and i-" Ellie pats your head in a comforting way, suddenly you realise there wasn't any reason to react to that.

- Ellie who was so happy to see you finally come out of your shell and actually enjoy life the way people should—she pushed you to finally get therapy, which helped a lot. she noticed you going out a lot more, not crying over every small inconvenience.

- Ellie who cuddled you so much that you actually wanted to push her off you sometimes "Ellie, I'm boiling" she grumbles, and you chuckle at her half asleep body, pulling a hair strain behind her ear as she snuggles into you more.

- Ellie who teared up when you told her that she saved your life, "are you crying?"

"what? me, ew get away!" she sniffles and hugs you, telling you how much she loves you.

[layraket]

guys. i could say that im very normal abt the update. but that would be a lie. and lying is bad. yeah. im nothing close to normal abt this whole thing im deranged.

theres so many details here.

Time seems to be more calm, the last update he was at the verge of screaming (to shut them all? to call for help to control all these links? who knows) now he looks very thoughtful, taking in every detail of the whole place to see if he can get some sort of puzzle solved

This question i feel like it has more impact that it looks at first, a lot of people are pointing out the little owl friend we saw at the first doodles of the AU, yeah the owl in oot was a yapper in all rule, but he was some sort of guidance during his journey

Twilight connects the owls to Shad, a guy who has a lot of knowledge and can help him at any moment if he needs some sort of information, Four remembers the owl that helped the colors during his second adventure, and Legend connects the owls to the statues in Koholint, together with the owl that gave him hints to where he had to go

Here it is made clear the point that i was talking before: Time recognizes that even if, for a kid, it was just an anoying bird, he helped him in some sort of way, and he should appreciated that small detail

beautiful art there's so many birds here im delighted so happy i've been staring at this for already 6 minutes beautiful

Owlan! as someone who also has slept during class so many times i dont blame Sky at all

also can we talk about how cool is Owlan's design??? like why i haven't seen anyone commenting abt it???? the yellow feather just makes me thing of the loftwing that we had to chase during the start of sksw, and i love that small detail so much

and Sun!! Finally she got a canon apparition, and of course it is with Sky sleeping during class lol

going back with what i was saying before, yeah he can thank Kaepora Gaebora all he wants, but man did that bird talk so much

love that expression 10/10 no more notes needed

EMO RULIE EMO RULI-

putting that joke aside, Hyrule seems to be more careful inside a dungeon, sure he can try and explore all he wants outside, but he knows very well the dangers of a dungeon, and he would like to no take any risk that could put them in danger while he can help it

I love the continuity of the comic, we all knew these were the same statues as the one that Twi used to separate them from Sky, but seeing it being portrayed in the comic is a detail that i think we all appreciate

Twilight my guy you cant go and look all that innocent we know your tricks

also Sky still remembers that time, seeing Legend as a bunny will not be easily forgotten. And Legends knows it

it doesn't mean that he likes that little fact

here i have things to say, it makes sense that the antifairy goes first for Legend, he's like. one of the most magic-based of them. Sure maybe Hyrule is our special wizard guy, but the vet uses a shit ton of magic weapons, he has to have a crazy amount of magic with him adding the rings he has

Also them all ready to defend their vet, yeah it might not be fully dangerous, but they will show no mercy to whatever dares to hurt one of them (a silent promise that they all made with the Twilight situation)

Time's attention is instantly gained with the mention of a Fairy, he doesn't sees too much of his friends in that thing, and that gives him a bad feeling of why the name

i could easily do a well thought comment on how he's magical girl material but i think with only that description enough was said

Only with the thought of one of his fairy friends having such destiny makes Time be disgusted, a Fairy turned into an enemy? Doesn't sound right, it isn't natural and just cruel for the poor fairy

also Wind was ready to catch her, he knows how valuable are fairies during a dungeon, you never know when you will need her help

Warriors during his adventure he made friends with the fairies, so he obviously will have something for her

he's like a mom who knows her children very well and will carry any treats for them, not beating up the mom/aunt of the group allegations

and Wind give the poor fairy some time before entering the bottle, she must be confused :(

this last pannel is everything to me, very cool very beautiful i love thsi comic so much

now my fav pannels as usual!

beautiful art as always every time i see a new update i get surprised by all the details

if you noticed a lot of Four in the last few images shushhh

as always, art credits goes towards @linkeduniverse!

[sageandred]

🚒🚨🚔 911 Lone Star ⭐️ Rewatch Notes—Season 1 ~

1x01

So first thing in the opening: somehow I forgot the guy microwaved a wrapped burrito. I wonder if Judd thinks about this being the origin for his team's deaths.

Anyway, the nitrate being the cause to the explosion could've totally been avoided with a quicker alert, but seems realistic and just sad to Judd's initial backstory.

It's crazy to me how TK was ready to propose without knowing what living together was like. I could say so much abt the implications of their relationship and how it was bad even before the knowledge of cheating.

Oh my god, I almost forgot about Michelle. (her yelling on the bf's porch is her best scene, lol)

TK tells his dad the AA meetings are better than in New York, but 2 episodes later he says to Carlos he's felt "gray" since he got here. He doesn't want his dad to worry. And Carlos ends up being the first person he is honest with on how he feels in Austin.

So glad Michelle and Owen never became a thing

It's crazy-Judd's PTSD was such a key thing in the first episode that kept me watching; I wanna see him in a leading position storyline again with his new journey in s5.

1x02

"TK, get the cuffs." "We don't have any cuffs, cap." is actually good-funny!

The infamous episode 2 hook-up: This entire scene has been analyzed, but I'll reiterate: How hooked Carlos must've been based on his reaction after. TK, as well, being laid out on the couch. Their kissing was so hungry; this was crazy. Also, I feel so bad for Carlos how TK's rushing out, and he knows it at the very end there, but is hoping it's not what he thinks.

I honestly like a lot of the calls better than 911. The balance/self-awareness of silliness and tearjerk moments on the calls (including the one with the overlords; also racist lady, and the unknown mercury poisoning) are so heartwarming, tbh. ❤️

The iconic "it's a meal, not a marriage proposal" table scene: it also just occurred to me, (or I remembered(?)), the implication that Carlos doesn't engage in hookup culture a lot or AT ALL based on the context of this scene ("I don't do this a lot." "Clearly.." and how he's acting)

1x03

The corn silo call and seeing how stupid TK is [affectionate] so early on to try saving Marjan. They really had an unspoken bond from day 1. (literally allergic to leadership when he feels he knows best)

"Just grinning like the butcher's dog, huh?" Judd is sooo <3 😆

2 observations from Carlos' talk w/Michelle about TK *and it's taken for context of him being out but never having anyone serious enough to introduce to his parents*: 1) he's probably never gotten used to texting first or cared enough to pursue [when Michelle suggests] (and that his fear of rejection in this moment could stem from his mom or dad never showing acceptance for his sexuality), and 2) he calls TK a "ten," and before, Michelle says "doesn't it always get weird?" about Carlos and his hook-ups.

#Grudd "So then, you got your point across." "I. did. not." I love them!

The beginning of Paul and Marjan-they don't show their friendship enough, but they connect so well from the beginning!

Like father, like son- so Owen fights off his frustrations like TK (where he gets it from). They're both keeping secrets from each other and don't deal w/their emotions well, because part of him wanted to get out his anger for his diagnosis. (perhaps, loose correlation, but trying to distract himself by being Michelle's hero somehow circles back to what the man in the cancer ward said about Owen wanting to "play hero ball" by being prideful and trying to solve things without support from his family/team)

I like how they wrote TK and Judd resolving their conflict-TK cutting off Judd in the middle of his apology, as he's struggling to do so & apologizing as well (they get each other so much).

1x04

The Tornado episode: when they feel like a full-blown family

Marjan and Judd conversing in the firetruck about religion made me think compared to the rest of the 126, they interact very little in one-on-one situations, but there's some small moments and background instances later on t/o the show of their bond! (maybe it was born out of understanding from this scene?!)

Owen advising Mateo about not bottling stuff up and Mateo opening up about the call: an early predecessor to what happens in (4x11) the sitcom episode. also, take your own advice!

Owen not telling TK his diagnosis vs telling him before he is confirmed to getting a different one in season 4 is growth.

1x05

"..incels--Involuntary celibates." "That's a thing?" "We used to just call them losers." just Nancy appreciation things

TK counting the days from Alex breaking up with him and calling him his "soulmate". I'm so dumb, I just realized TK knowing the days is 116 (that would've been a lot of time to count otherwise) is because it's the same day he broke his sobriety (i think i forget abt this every time i come across this scene).

[Judd has flashback and ptsd reaction on scene at the call]

It's interesting how 911 starts further in to the team-like connectedness and LS shows the probie-induction for full length episodes. like they don't let Mateo do anything. "[I'm] their spotter, sir?"... "There's another one!" 😂😅 (also cuz Mateo literally failed four times, I KNOW)

1x06

I'm obsessed w/all of Marjan's solo friendships with the boys. That is all. [the early scene in the episode with the credits still rolling]

"Whenever you get stressed, just remind yourself that...soon you're gonna die anyway...if you can convince your brain that none of it really matters anyway, then you'll basically be a Jedi." some genuinely solid advice (ep. has some unexpectedly uplifting words, and this is a great heart-to-heart in it)

I will say they've got the friendship moments down pat with the team-building these last 2 episodes and the last few scenes of each episode solidify that! The developmental, 'forming-of-the-friendships' scenes in s1 are rlly great by showing members bond individually, along with all of the nice natural chemistry and camaraderie on calls, including looks and side comments.

1x07

Paul has such a right to be upset abt Owen keeping his diagnosis a secret when they relocated and now their jobs could be on the line, because of Billy and his mission.

Oh my gosh, Carlos literally says, "I'm a patrol officer, not an investigator." look where you are now (I've had thoughts on the journey from officer to ranger and how it's good!)

[JUDD STANDING UP FOR HIS CREW!!] to keep their jobs to Billy and for Owen to fix the mess he created

1x08

BUTTERCUP!!!

The Norman-Norma Bates call always was one I really liked.

"Okay, she dead." Tim, I miss you.

"Man, you're being a dick to a cancer dog? That is not a good look, bro." [the way he said it- just some shameless Paul appreciation]

"You knew that I was going to fall in love with it...and I won't be able to take that." so sweet

"Yeah, I think this is about more than the dog." omg, Owen is slow ❤️

Now that I'm over the initial sadness of Grace being replaced, I'm interested in how Wyatt does as a dispatcher and what kind of calls he has that tie into the episode themes.

TK's first on-screen NDE via on scene first response calls. you got a lot more coming your way, buddy

Aww Paul in the back offscreen (who can't see what's going on) screaming for TK when he gets shot

Michelle is "Blue Eyes" singing and Iris is "Sad Eyes"? why did this just click for me

1x09

a side-note: Judd is so unserious, always laughing during the calls [here for pregnancy delivery gender-reveal party; & so many situations t/o the season (and this is not including the one where he reacted due to ptsd, obviously)]

[TK always thinking about other people-how the kid who shot him is dealing when he first wakes up (they tell us exactly what a dominant trait in his characterization that will be)].

"Are you my doctor?" "No, I'm his..date." "You brought a date[to the hospital]?" Fr & "So, are you gonna tell me how long you've been seeing her?" "When you tell me how long you've been seeing the cop." are the funny father-son moments that shine

The show joking about how soon TK will return to work and Mateo earnestly asking "in a couple weeks?" to which Judd says "sooner than that" and tells the story of an LA firefighter coming back in a month after rebar went through his brain (911 reference). oh I didn't get this b4. also, I do love the whole awareness of speedy recoveries & that we're just gonna accept it <3

Judd doesn't like the extra work of filling in as captain. Is this smthing relevant for later (idk)?

Again- "they said you might heal up in 10 days." love it!

"There's turns in there that are 2 ft wide." and "that excludes everybody except..." I love Marjan and Mateo getting their moment (she's had some already, but..)

["who do you normally talk to about these things?"] "Well I guess there is my boyfriend-who I don't even really know is my boyfriend, boyfriend." so cute <3 they were like this already early on

TK became a firefighter because he followed in Owen's footsteps, because he wanted a father, after he wasn't there that much (*this is just a recap note for the plot). additionally, age confirmation this ep that TK is 26.

maybe we can get more of Judd's family or extended family in s5 (and bonding with Wyatt since he's never met them)

1x10

The concept of this episode is so good (Solar Storm)! That opening kind of hits! × the way you don't really know what's going on and there's all these mishappenings on the street ❤️

"Paul did it." damn Mateo wastes no time accussing his big bro <3

This episode is a very slow in a good way; I like the pacing, so far!

The airplane power line rescue where Owen jumps out last minute-"I give you a 2 for style and 10 for timing." Judd dgaf throwing digs at the 126, including his cap all the time (I never noticed how much). [+ his rocky relationship start w/Owen that quickly turns to Judd calling him out as soon as he does is wild, because it's towards his boss]. it's been the whole season! <3

I know it's disputed for if it was planned all along for what we find out in s4, but Iris mentions Carlos here in a familial manner like she was closer with him than Michelle.

The astronaut 😭! don't know if it's my favorite s1 call, but it's definitely up there (i take it back-very likely it might be my favorite call of season one!) <3

Don't mind me I'm just emotional abt TK's journey this season capping off with him opening up to the crew abt something so personal as his addiction. This trust is where the Catan hangs were born.

[caitie-likes-talking]

Jonathan headcanons bc I’m so mentally ill abt him

appearance headcanons

freckle Jonathan is SO real to me. his face is covered with them and he only gets more every time he’s in the sun

he’s the guy who’s hair is crazy curly as a kid but once he goes through puberty it’s suddenly super straight

he looks way more like his mom than his dad

i hc that after the mansion fight w dio he has actually remaining burns (idc if that doesnt comply w canon!! i do what i want!!)

tan Jonathan REAL! my out in the sun king

relationship headcanons

While I do think he’s an “every single love language ever” kinda guy, I think his main one is words of affirmation. Definitely can’t go a day without gushing abt how much he loves Erina and Speedwagon (also jonerinawagon polycule real)

speaking of which, bisexual jonathan is extremely real 2 me.

he loves doing any boring task for someone he cares about. folding laundry for erina is basically heaven for him

he proposed to erina by the tree w their initials carved into it bc i said so

uses horrible archaeologist pick up lines on his baes (for ex: hey babe, are you an ancient artifact? bc i wanna date you!)

just overall horrible at flirting when he's actually trying to be flirtatious. endearingly cringe, if u will

stresses out every time erina is on her period. she's getting princess treatment and it slightly pisses her off bc she's capable of still doing things but jonathan insists on her staying in bed all week

modern au headcanons

he's the kind of person who's just naturally decent at most things, so even when he's never played a game, he'll end in 2nd or 1st place. for example: bowling, minigolf, darts, and pool. he's comically bad at twister tho

he LOVES movies and once he watches a new one he's quoting it every two seconds and is just a little too upset if they other person doesn't recognize it

I interpret him as autistic (I’ve made a whole video abt his autistic traits in canon lmfaoo)

a real sweater and bomber jacket kinda guy. he has fun funky sweaters w silly patterns on them for sure

collects shoes. idk he just seems like the guy who has so many pairs of shoes for absolutely no reason. he's got every color of the rainbow in his shoe bin

volunteers at a museum part time. great w the kids and loves infodumping to these like middle-schoolers about some artifact.

horrible at reading tone over text. has misinterpreted lots of passive aggressive texts from erina as positive. (she has since learned to either use tone tags or the angry emoji to make her point more clear. the emoji is more effective every time)

has smoked weed before and every time he does its obvious that hes high as balls but he always thinks hes being sneaky abt it

cheated off of erina in high school to pass some classes. its his darkest secret and if anyone ever finds out he will like explode on the spot

also was super popular in high school but didn't realize, as he was too used to being a loser (12yr jonathan is a friendless loser no matter the universe)

im so insane i love him

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning/day, angel!! it must be morning, though. it's been quiet a long time lol. so i've wrote this academic competition today. tbh, i've done awful. i'm VERY disappointed. i'm not big brained at all TT this athletic kitty TT wish i were him 'GIRL I MEANT GAME OF THRONES 😡😡😡😡' and i did not)) 'God bless subtitles' amen 'for a second there i thought you were talkin about the modern!daemon au' nah ofc i'm eager to read modern!daemon au but i always wait for this witch prompt, this 'in the keep' thing if you still want to ever write it, literally for anything. i love your talented big brain and your gorgeous af works. and waiting for a lifetime was merely a pun. like i wanted to type wait forever but then i was like '...........wait' 'no wonder why his brother’s hair white' HAHAHAHA good. that's good. finally we know why targaryens have white hair. they all were crazy af 'no i want to kill them' it's my comfort fic TT but ok. i've gone through all the stages of acceptance. do whatever you want, i'd be glad to see your genius thoughts. NO but how merely an ask for a cliche little suppy fic turned into this ALL. i love angst but also i feel like i need to read some sickly sweet fluff to make my heart relax a bit 'I WAS PLANNING TO DO SMTH LIKE THIS' HGDDJHDHJSKD SIS TT MOM TT ANGEL TT one big and genius brain cell, remember. no but HGFHFJF why it's so hilarious TT 'OUR BRAINS SO IN SYNC' like at first i had a different idea about this concept but while i was typing that love letter i literally just *star*WOW*star* TT it's the mental bond ig dk 'A PAST LOVER' HGDJSSKDH more puns on this theme??? no but i just thought about the variation of a bad ending... no i'm NOT telling it bc you- i can't trust you such a thing... it's too sad i need at least some hope in my life. 'which basically means me??' hahshdj this arrogant prick. no but actually i can imagine daemon bickering with aemond and aegon a lot. like they're married (not really babe TT). he feels so protective of the reader in my head? HOW he asked 'is it your pretty boy' in the 1 part? when they're merely acquainted? and he continues to be like that. always saying 'fuck off kids' or 'what can you do to me?' and GLARING at them when they're near his wife. but i also can see him rather calm in the 'not your level' way. he knows he and the reader have a special bond and boys can't ruin it so he puts a hand on her waist and smirks the boys down. talking abt canon, maybe he's somewhere inbetween. when he feels the threat, he behaves in the 1 way, when not then in the 2 way. but in this au, i think, he's more of the 1 type? beside the bond and instant love, he also has a feeling that he'd already lost her once so he doesn't want to feel it again, for real in this world. ig you've already said such a thing. and i also can see reader rather jealous of the *spoiler*. in the 1 part she seemed pretty calm and layed-back about all daemon's affairs but?? i think it must hurt so much? you live (literally) only to meet the man you love so much you wait him for lifetime (lol sorry)?? and hearing all these rumors, all these 'thousands of chicks', seeing all the news then meeting one of them?? woah it must hurt as hell. but i feel like this reader is more quite about her jealousy than daemon (oh yeah no one expected). 1) she knows he was reborn only to meet her again so that's mean she's the only one in his life now, 2) dk pride? self-esteem? she doesn't feel like she needs to protect her right to have him? ok i've written it all like these are facts and not my nightly ideas. nono pls don't feel like it. i just think about something and oops i can speak about it for a lifETIME lol. and it's too late and i don't want to think what time and grammar i need to use to make it look like assumptions. that's all ig. have a nice day!! love you!! always wait for your answers and fics. take care<з

MODERN!DAEMON NONNIE UR BACK!

HAHAHAHHAHAHA have this memey thing HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

good morning/day, angel!! it must be morning, though. it's been quiet a long time lol.

yeah you didnt send me smth yesterday so i wondered if what happened to you i mean no pressure to send me anything but yeah i was like 'oh my nonnie didn't send today, probably because of that competition'

so i've wrote this academic competition today. tbh, i've done awful. i'm VERY disappointed. i'm not big brained at all TT this athletic kitty TT wish i were him

nah you did your best. that's what counts. doing awful in one thing does not mean you're suddenly not big brained. thats not how that works. you dont have to be like that athletic kitty omg T_T

'GIRL I MEANT GAME OF THRONES 😡😡😡😡' and i did not))

😐 ok HAHHA

'God bless subtitles' amen

🙏🙏🙏🙏

'for a second there i thought you were talkin about the modern!daemon au' nah ofc i'm eager to read modern!daemon au but i always wait for this witch prompt, this 'in the keep' thing if you still want to ever write it, literally for anything.

i have to report i think i wrote halfway to the witch fic then it died now i dont know when i;ll finish it so i just did my other req first. I will still write in the keep!! dont worry. also the modern!daemon au ofc. im glad youre eager to read them <3 <3

i love your talented big brain and your gorgeous af works. and waiting for a lifetime was merely a pun. like i wanted to type wait forever but then i was like '...........wait'

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

'no wonder why his brother’s hair white' HAHAHAHA good. that's good. finally we know why targaryens have white hair. they all were crazy af

HAHAHHAHHAH my big brain so big fr

'no i want to kill them' it's my comfort fic TT but ok. i've gone through all the stages of acceptance. do whatever you want, i'd be glad to see your genius thoughts. NO but how merely an ask for a cliche little suppy fic turned into this ALL. i love angst but also i feel like i need to read some sickly sweet fluff to make my heart relax a bit

HAHAHAHAH idk we'll see how it all works out. dont worry i will 10000% put cute parts. adding them will help make the angst worse HAHAHAHAHHAHAH <3

'I WAS PLANNING TO DO SMTH LIKE THIS' HGDDJHDHJSKD SIS TT MOM TT ANGEL TT one big and genius brain cell, remember. no but HGFHFJF why it's so hilarious TT 'OUR BRAINS SO IN SYNC' like at first i had a different idea about this concept but while i was typing that love letter i literally just *star*WOW*star* TT it's the mental bond ig dk

the hive mentality T_T HAHAH

'A PAST LOVER' HGDJSSKDH more puns on this theme??? no but i just thought about the variation of a bad ending... no i'm NOT telling it bc you- i can't trust you such a thing... it's too sad i need at least some hope in my life.

HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHH I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT CHOICE OF NOT TELLING ME A BAD ENDING BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN MENTALLY DEBATING ABOUT ENDING THIS WITH SOMETHING REALLY BAD HAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHH also the past lover is not necessarily a pun, but like fr a character i will add to cause drama HAHAH

'which basically means me??' hahshdj this arrogant prick.

💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣 TELL ME HE WOULD NOT SAY THAT THOUGH HAHAHHAH

no but actually i can imagine daemon bickering with aemond and aegon a lot. like they're married (not really babe TT).

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 real

he feels so protective of the reader in my head? HOW he asked 'is it your pretty boy' in the 1 part? when they're merely acquainted? and he continues to be like that. always saying 'fuck off kids' or 'what can you do to me?' and GLARING at them when they're near his wife.

REALLLL

but i also can see him rather calm in the 'not your level' way. he knows he and the reader have a special bond and boys can't ruin it so he puts a hand on her waist and smirks the boys down. talking abt canon, maybe he's somewhere inbetween.

STOP BESTIE I WAS ABOUT TO SAY HE WOULDNT EVEN GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY BECAUSE WHO ARE THEY BESTIE BESTIE WE THINK SO ALIKE BESTIE WTF WHY HOW WHO WHAT HOW I WASNT EVEN GONNA SAY IT ANYMORE BECAUSE I WAS LIKE 'ITLL BE IN THE FIC ANYWAY' BUT THEN YOU SAID IT ASLHASHFAS BESSSTTIIIIEEEEE!!!!! T_T

when he feels the threat, he behaves in the 1 way, when not then in the 2 way. but in this au, i think, he's more of the 1 type? beside the bond and instant love,

we love a petty king

he also has a feeling that he'd already lost her once so he doesn't want to feel it again, for real in this world. ig you've already said such a thing.

😗🍵👌 thats the tea

and i also can see reader rather jealous of the *spoiler*. in the 1 part she seemed pretty calm and layed-back about all daemon's affairs but?? i think it must hurt so much? you live (literally) only to meet the man you love so much you wait him for lifetime (lol sorry)?? and hearing all these rumors, all these 'thousands of chicks', seeing all the news then meeting one of them?? woah it must hurt as hell.

youre so real for that. ugh. so good at all this analyzing. at this point, i think i should write the fic because the more we talk about it, more more fulfilled i get thus i dont even need to write the fic anymore imma just tell you HAHAHHAAHAHAHAH

but i feel like this reader is more quite about her jealousy than daemon (oh yeah no one expected). 1) she knows he was reborn only to meet her again so that's mean she's the only one in his life now, 2) dk pride? self-esteem? she doesn't feel like she needs to protect her right to have him?

UGHHHH!!! SOOOOO TRRUUUEEEEE!!!!!!! UGHHHH UR SO GOOD AT ANALYZING UGHHHHHHH

ok i've written it all like these are facts and not my nightly ideas. nono pls don't feel like it. i just think about something and oops i can speak about it for a lifETIME lol. and it's too late and i don't want to think what time and grammar i need to use to make it look like assumptions. that's all ig.

well to be fair your assumptions usually hit the nail on the head so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ they are technically facts HHIHI. we can speak for a lifetime <3 again dont worry about your grammar. ive got wack grammar too lol

have a nice day!! love you!! always wait for your answers and fics. take care<з

i love you thank you for telling me your thoughts <3

xxx

[hardpacker]

talking abt court so i can get it out of my head and go to sleep :(

what going to court and talking to cops and judges repeatedly has taught me (as if i needed to be taught it more) is that if your life is in danger, trying to get help is just not worth the hassle. the help you try to get will do everything in its power to exhaust and break you. it's not worth how demeaning and humiliating it is, what it robs you of, how horribly alone it is.

if you've never had to convince someone that the circumstances of your weird ugly ass and your stupid little life are real, and that you deserve to not be k*lled— and you have to say this, even though all the while, you yourself probably feel the opposite— well uh... That is good! and i DON'T know what made the judge drop my restraining order last year, but keep anka's and their mom's. maybe i wore the wrong clothes. maybe he really resented abiding by my legal pronouns. i'm not gonna rule it out, why should i? why wouldn't that be the problem? being treated like a man meaning who gives a fuck i'm not in danger / being treated as trans meaning i should just go die already one way or another.

doing this over and over has done nothing to make it easier. it's fuckawful. on top of the pain it causes on its own, lots of important friendships i never expected to lose have fallen away, and so at times it feels like the thing that is most reliable, the truest constant, is this stupid, shitty annual ordeal.*

i had to talk about sh*nth in therapy because i kept putting it off over and over and it still hurts bad that he did what he did when what ultimately lead us to court was only just ramping up. and then when i tried to explain that something weird was going on, and then when i tried to explain he was making up lies about me, not only did anyone really know what to do or say about it, they also... went to hang out with him. he did this when we were becoming homeless... who does that to a person? i'll never know why it happened but even if i don't care About him, even if i don't Fear him, it'll always hurt. crazy that while i know in my heart that it was fake and flimsy, i also know i will never have that kind of relationship with someone again.

i told my therapist that being put in a position of trying to convince/prove to someone that something's actually real and causing me distress is itself so distressing that i think it must be part of why i bypass so many interactions and don't log them as upsetting even when something's off.

telling someone that something is a problem is usually a bigger problem than the thing itself. it's inconvenient and annoying. feeling good is the priority always even when that means lying and covering things up to preserve a sense of goodness and chillness.

i got choked up saying i feel a palpable difference between me and other people in that i can't turn off how i care about them. and maybe that's wrong, maybe that's why i've ended up staying with or chasing people who are really, really bad for me! if i could shut it off i could be so much more discerning about who to trust. as it is i feel like i'm in glass box mode, looking out at people who for some time have stopped looking back. i just want a CHANCE.

i don't want to go to court. i don't want to go. i don't want to do it all over again. i don't want to listen to lies on top of lies on top of lies and there's no accounting for made up nonsense so how am i supposed to refute it?! i can't disprove something which in no way exists, like, that can be anything, you can invent anything. i hate this!!!

* i say annual but *disclaimerfied brain* much like getting married (i assume,) when your life's been expressly threatened it doesn't just come up on the anniversary only, ya feel?

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[multifandomdeer]

.

[harvestdew]

While we're on the topic of how shane's character has a problem with indulging a savior complex boy howdy do I have an issue with how penny does the same thing in the opposite direction! Seriously, it's weird how jas and marnie cant really bring up shane's drinking problem beacuse of it conflicting with his recovery. Also Pam can never get help with her drinking problem because it conflicts with penny's events and dialogue even though her life got better with the bus being back up and running. Pam drives me crazy with it because penny is basically about escaping a toxic household but pam is actually super nice and talks about penny like the sun shines out of her ass except for ONE scene where she yells at her for having someone help clean their house, really aside from the drinking pam actually adores her daughter and asks the farmer to treat her nicely but nope she's abusive because she told her off once and penny is prettier and younger I guess! and I dont mean this to undermine penny having a alcoholic parent because it SUCKS but jas is not only an orphan but her god father is also an alcoholic (possibly formerly) but who cares because look at how sad and helpless poor little shane is! Jas has marnie anyways so who careeeess I DO. I CARE. I was gonna marry shane just so jas would live with me tbh so I was extra mad that he essentially abandons her when you get married. Sorry, I'll get to the point here: if pam and Shane's genders were flipped you'd all be raving about how penny just doesn't appreciate how much her dad does for her uwu and being up in arms about how shane doesnt act maternal enough and is a freeloader

i feel like i don’t understand the dynamic of pam as much as i should because i don’t talk to her enough. all i remember about her is her yelling at penny for trying to clean the trailer with the farmer’s help but i understand what you mean about shane. i don’t think pam’s problems really justify taking stuff out on penny, obviously, but i have mixed feelings abt pam in general and i don’t think i’m well-versed enough on those particular issues to act like i know like i do. i personally like penny, i feel bad for her because of my own problems with my mom, but i agree that pam’s ability to get help shouldn’t be curbed for the sake of penny’s story. i do 100% agree that if shane’s gender was flipped everyone would just hate him. i wish there weren’t so many discrepancies in the game’s writing sometimes

[lookingforlittleoblivions]

its been a while, hi. dont remember the last time i posted something. last thursday i really wanted to kill myself so i took 15 antidepressants, only to find out that they weren't gonna kill me, only make me feel sick, dizzy and kinda high. i felt really dumb it was kinda funny, have no ideia if that counts as an attempt or not. whatever. its so crazy that things are actually going well but i still feel terrible inside. in case y'all didn't know, im a trans boy. my family knows for a while but a couple a weeks ago i told the rest of my closest family and asked them to call me alex and refer to me by he/him and they are! they have been so supportive of me and i love them so much for it. i have a doctor's appointment to discuss top surgery and another one to see if i could start T, and this morning my dad told me thats hes talking to someone and he thinks he can officially change my name next year before i start collage. i mean, what more can i ask for right? but still i feel so ungrateful. my dysphoria has been worse than ever to the point where im starting to wear my binder at home and i really cant go a minute without feeling extremely uncomfortable. i felt like this before but this is worse. and my mom keeps telling me that im gonna get what i want and i just have to hold on for a little bit. i feel terrible abt it, but im not sure im strong enough. i came out to most of my closest friends and they were amazing. but i still have to tell my gf, and i know that means we're gonna have to break up. not bc shes transphobic or something but bc i dont wanna be in a relationship when i start my transition, the problem is that i dont want to hurt her, im literally in rock bottom rn i my own gf doesn't know, i mean she knows something's up but we barely talk these days. not like we used to at least. shes really depressed and i know she has a lot of friends but i know that she depends a lot on me. and im honestly scared that she might try to do something bad. i know its my life and i should put myself first my sister keeps saying that but i just cant leave her. even though im pretty sure i dont love her as much as i used to, i care abt her so much. thinking abt it i think that breaking up w/ her is going to be too real. like it will mean that im really doing this. finally being who i am. but im scared. of what everyone one will think, even tho i know that my friends will support me, i cant help but to feel like this. and this feeling is killing me inside, along with the fact that i dont have the guts to break her heart, and how fucking dysphoric i feel. and i keep thing abt the everything that has to happen for me to finally be happy, and how the process of everything i ever wanted is starting soon, and how hard it's gonna be. and maybe im not strong enough, or i dont think the end is worth the climb, even tho theres nothing i want more in the world. maybe i dont want it enough. my head is a mess. but i haven't cut in 6 days, a record for me, but i think im gonna cut now...

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Hi,pal! I'm loving "It's the perfect story"! However, the subject I'm talking about doesn't directly to the fic. By what I know, people don't hate Silena because she was the spy,it's more like they think her being seduced/manipulated into doing it is detracting to her character. Many posts say that's very insulting to teen girls, or her cause should be something like "her cabin was being disrespected"(out of character IMO, but I'll talk about it later)...

Continuation. Or “the demigods were being mistreated by the gods”(not a bad one,but Silena didn’t really feel the worst of the gods IMO. Not like Luke, Chris or Tori in the fic). People are entitled to their opinions, but I disagree. About the “disrespected cabin stuff”,Silena is defensive in a blunt, straightforward way when it happens. Examples: how she wanted to fight the Huntresses when they said love was worthless;or when people were surprised by her magic knowledge,and she looked offended.

Cont. Besides, those behaviors show that Silena can be quite passionate and proud, what probably made her vulnerable to manipulation(her romantic nature didn’t help). Besides, Silena herself thought she was saving lives. I believe Luke’s words would sound truer to her if she cared about him than from a dispassionate perspective. Besides, if Luke managed to lure Percy to near death with a friendly smile and soda,despite Percy’s instincts saying no,I believe he could do it to Silena…

Cont. By what I read, your only issue was the age. However, I think that was something like “death of the author” in canon,as she didn’t get one. In fact, I rather like the idea of Silena being an older camper,including than Charles(if 18 years old girls date boys in their 20’s…),both in canon and in your fic. In your fic,it could make her Tori ’ s peer. In canon,it’d fit the whole “role model” stuff we had going on HoO.

what’s up dude! thanks, i’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it!

that’s how i interpreted it when i read the books (or how i remember interpreting it, at least, i haven’t read the series in a while) like, being the spy meant she was a traitor, which is also a comment abt her character (i.e., may she’s not the greatest person–for the lack of a better word–bc she was a traitor). when clarisses declares she’s a hero, i assumed it was supposed to be juxtaposed to her being a traitor. which is a roundabout way to say that the ultimate end is the same, whereas the perspective is different? but i can see where others are coming from–that the campers would be more mad bc of the fact that she was easily manipulated by luke, rather than her being the spy

i guess i can see where ppl are coming from regarding it being an insult to teen girls (i’d really like to see those posts tho, bc i actually haven’t seen anyone talk abt that–i somehow manage to avoid discourse like we’re two opposing magnets, my d-list x-men power), bc it plays off the stereotype that teen girls are so boy crazy, they’re easily manipulated by any good-looking guy that smiles in their direction. it doesn’t help that she’s a child of aphrodite. and what i mean by that is, i think, ppl often water down what aphrodite is the goddess of. when ppl say, “she’s the goddess of love and beauty” ppl often think she’s the goddess of, “being vain and romantic/sexual love” (not true btw, fite me, i will gladly jump into that discourse)

but anyway, back to my main point, i can see how it may play off a teen girl stereotype (rick is good at doing that sometimes, which isn’t entirely his fault, bc like i said abt toxic masculinity, it’s so ingrained in our society, it’s hard to unlearn and we often fall into those stereotypes if we’re not fully aware of them and consciously thinking about them), but i also don’t entirely agree with that argument, either

now i could be wrong, esp since i haven’t read any of this discourse, so i haven’t read ppl’s reasoning or arguments, but it sounds very surface-level White Feminism™ and what i mean by that is that there are more grey areas to this argument, okay, so put away your pitchforks and put out your torches and, i mean, also that this argument is coming from ppl who want to seem like they’re woke, but then turn around and continue to do or say things that are insidiously bigoted

like i said, i can see how it plays into a stereotype, but if we’re going by rick’s canon (which we totally don’t have to, but for this argument’s sake we are) she’s young and impressionable, luke is handsome and charming–if another young person were in her position, we’d probably see the same thing. young ppl are easy to manipulate, they just are. they’re still learning abt the world, and how it works, and that maybe not everyone has good intentions. not to mention they’re still trying to find themselves, and they look to peers, mentors, and ppl who are respected (for whatever reason) for cues to how they should act and think. it’s like trying on clothes or taste-testing foods–they’re trying out opinions. if they don’t like the “taste” of an opinion, then they learn, grow, and change. some ppl instantly connect with an opinion (which could be bigoted or not) and not explore further, or could be sheltered and just not have the opportunity to experience anything else.

the opinion here: the gods are bad. the person she’s looking to for guidance: luke. plain and simple

and, as you say anon, percy even fell for luke’s charms (despite the warning signs!! and percy is most def Not Straight, so luke was also using that fact against percy as well, whether rick luke knew it or not). so, ya know, there ya go

now, i think rick chose a child of aphrodite, and a girl, bc he thought he was turning a trope on its head–you’d never expect (from the stereotype of what aphrodite stands for) silena to be a spy, to work for kronos of all ppl titans. do you see what i mean? i think he was going for an elle woods effect–except in the polar opposite direction. the ends is the same, where this girl who is often underestimated (like elle) turns out to do something no one expected of her (in silena’s case, being the spy, which takes a lot of guts, nerve, and smarts–the opposite of what ppl expect from aphrodite, based on a reductive stereotype)

and that’s where the real issue lies, not that she was a teen girl, but rather some of the decisions the author made under wrong assumptions

i agree that the alternatives aren’t as sincere or make as much sense. silena didn’t experience a whole lot of strife regarding her mom or the gods in general, so she’d have no reason to hate them as luke does–she’d have no reason to be the spy for luke if he were to simply use that argument to get her to kronos’s side. and maybe she would’ve joined kronos under “her cabin was being disrespected,” however, it was’t being disrespected by the gods themselves, right? not like the minor gods, not like nemesis or hecate. the disrespect comes more from the ppl around her–the ppl who assume the wrong things abt aphrodite when they hear the words “love” and “beauty.” so that alternative reason doesn’t hold a lot of water if you really think abt it

i also agree with you: that her passion and pride made her more easily manipulated, and also that luke’s words would mean more coming from a more passionate and personal perspective. luke fed her lines that played into her character (like how kronos fed luke lines that played into his hatred for the gods). if she felt passionate abt helping save ppl (and it’s coming from someone she likes, someone she looks up to), then she’d  be the spy for sure. if she had a crush on luke, more for him to use against her, right? that’s just how it goes sometimes, ya know? her crush are her rose-colored glasses, add that on top of “you’d be saving lives” and, well, luke’s got her wrapped around kronos’s finger

yeah, the age thing is a big sticking point for me, just bc based on the timeline of things, she’s several years younger than luke (which make his kiss, in my story, really gross). if beckendorf was going to college during tlo, he was probably at the least 18, and silena was probably around the same age. by this time, luke is 23, so that means that she’s abt 5 years younger? is five years a huge deal between older ppl (like mid- to late-twenties and beyond)? not at all. but with younger ppl (teens and early twenties), it’s a HUGE gap in age, and a HUGE deal.

but like you say, i think rick is hitting that point of “death of the author” (esp with more recent events…btw, jason is totally alive and well, and if you think or try to tell me differently, then you can meet me in a denny’s parking lot at 3am), so we can totes not follow canon and age both silena and beckendorf up. not to mention, there’s no specific age that ppl go to college (just in general most ppl starting college are from 17-20) so it’s completely fine for beckendorf to be going to college at 22, 23. and a 2 yr age difference (regarding beckendorf at 20, dating silena at 18) is totes better than a 5 yr difference for sure

i really like tori and silena being peers, and i if i had been more comfortable breaking canon (and knew what i know now, then), it would’ve been fun to write (but eeeyyy, it’s fun to think abt, so there may be headcanons in your future regarding this). finally, you’re right, i think it would make “silena as a role model” so much more powerful if she had been/was older in canon

thanks for sending these in! i had a lot of fun talking and thinking abt all the points you brought up/made, and i hope to continue this discussion, if you want!