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#it's funny how i can confidently approach and talk to strangers when i am at work
hiljaisuudesta · 2 years
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stormz369 · 8 days
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☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 1
Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem) A/N: I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm not even much of a DC fan, but Jason Todd has quickly become my latest hyper fixation character (Harley Quinn too, do I just have a thing for Joker victims???) so ... thank you for giving me a place to put this energy I guess! 😂 I'm not super confident on the characterizations, but I'm going with it because I like it. If it's wildly ooc ... that tracks, given that the only DC comic I've read is Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Read it, or don't, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head. The art doesn't belong to me, but the writing does. Please do not post elsewhere!
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, starting out fluffy, will probably get NSFW later so minors DNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
word count: 1.7k
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
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In a city known for its masked fighters, you learn pretty quickly that everyone and everything is a potential threat. Every approaching stranger on the street, every loud sound behind you, every dark alleyway. Being bigger than me certainly isn't a prerequisite to being a danger, but it does have a way of setting off my mental alarms. I've found that big men are used to getting their way, and they get all sorts of bent out of shape if you deny them their wishes. Especially when they think they're doing you a favor.
It died down a bit after high school; I learned to exist in public with ‘fuck off’ stamped across my face. Headphones on, reading a book, intentionally seated at the table furthest from the other cafe patrons. All the typical signs of someone who wants to be left alone; nothing about me said ‘please come talk to me'. So I was understandably on edge when I noticed someone standing by the chair across from me. I look up just a bit, gesturing to the chair with a nod. Silent consent to take it back to his table and leave me to my book.
No such luck. The man simply smiled and mimed taking headphones off. Putting a bored look on my face, I moved one off my ear. “... Hm?”
“Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, but my brother thinks you're really beautiful and is refusing to come tell you himself.” 
I could feel my expression turning to stone. “... What is this, middle school?”
His cheerful grin faltered ever so slightly; “hey, I know it's a bit silly, but he's awkward around cute girls, so what's a brother to do, ya know?”
I stared him down; “... You're not fooling anyone. Move on.”
“... Sorry, ‘fooling anyone’?”
“It’s not funny, it’s not even hurtful the 20th time, it's just annoying. Go. Away.” It was a lie; it was always painful to be on the receiving end of these pranks. But that was what these guys wanted, so I wasn't going to tell him that. My headphones back in place, the guy slunk away.
Ten minutes later, another person was standing by the chair. I pretended not to see him, continuing to read my book, until he plopped down in the seat. I looked up slowly and he smiled, another oddly warm smile, leaning forward on his elbows.
An incredibly put-out sigh later, I slid the headphones off one ear again. “What?”
“Hi, I'm Tim! I'm not sure what exactly my brother said to you, but I wanted to let you know - we're not trying to prank you or something. Our brother is just way too awkward with girls. It's painful to watch, really, so we figured we'd give him a hand.” He spoke much too fast for me to get a word in. I blinked a bit, raising an eyebrow.
“... You frat boys are really committing to the bit these days, huh?”
“Huh? No, really, I promise!”
My headphones were nearly back into place when a child showed up. His impatient expression matched how I felt about the whole situation. “As usual, Drake, your plans are far too convoluted to be effective. Watch and learn.”
He turned to me, nothing about his demeanor changing; “hello. Todd said we shouldn't bother you because you ‘clearly want to be alone’, but I am convinced the only way to stop their nonsense is if he comes over. May he have a moment of your time?”
Frowning a little, I stared at the kid. He stared right back, neither of us blinking for a solid minute as we sussed each other out. His expression barely changed, but the boredom in his eyes turned into determination. “... Well, you're definitely not a frat boy. So I'll make you a deal; you may report back that he has permission to come say hi. If he doesn't choose to, that's the end of this little charade. And if either of them” I gestured to the one sitting at my table; “comes back over here, I start stabbing. Got it?”
The boy nodded once, and I thought I saw a ghost of a smirk. “You have my word.” He dragged the other man out of the chair by his shirt, pulling him stumbling toward their table. That was when I saw him. The only person at their table who hadn't come over yet. Even hunched over the table he was enormous, probably close to six feet tall; exactly the kind of man I typically avoided. The kid spoke sharply, pointing in my direction, and his head shot up to look in my direction. Even from across the spacious patio, I could see his face turning red. The obnoxious, cocky smirk I was expecting to see was entirely missing; instead he seemed almost confused.
Headphones back on but turned off so I could hear if he approached, I returned to my book. But I only got through a few pages before the first one shouted; “and offer to get her another coffee or something!”
I looked over to see the tall one frozen halfway between our tables, a look on his face like he was considering jumping over the patio fence to get away. His demeanor reminded me of a lost puppy, and I couldn't help the chuckle that rose up out of my throat. I bookmarked my page, set the book aside, and slid my headphones down around my neck. I really thought he was about to bolt until I lifted one hand, curling my fingers to gesture for him to continue toward me.
He stopped short by a good several feet, eyeing the distance between himself and the chair, and took one extra step back. It seemed as if he was hyper aware of just how much he loomed over me; the way he stood was like he was trying to will himself to be smaller, and he kept his hands at his sides. “Um … hi. … Sorry, this is … this is really weird …”
I nodded, watching him. “It is a bit. … Todd, was it?”
“Jay… Jason.”
“Not Todd?”
“Jason Todd. Damian calls me Todd, he thinks using people's last names keeps them at an arm's length…” Jason Todd. The name felt familiar, but I couldn't place why. He continued to ramble about how important tone was in determining whether this Damian kid was referring to you with affection or disdain, and I watched him. He was admittedly very cute; he had a sort of a bad boy aesthetic -leather jacket, dark clothes, a white streak in his hair, some unusual scars on his face and arms-, which juxtaposed interestingly with the gentleness in his voice, bright eyes, and awkward mannerisms. That was actually the thing that made the most sense about this situation; bikers are often secret teddy bears.
“... Jason?”
He looked up at me, one hand sheepishly making its way into his hair. “Yeah, sorry, you want me to go. I'll get them to stop harassing you, so sorry-”
“Actually, I was going to say you don't have to stand the whole time.” I gestured to the chair across from me.
He hesitated, watching me. “... Y- you don't want me to go?”
I smiled softly and shook my head. “Sit?”
He quickly obeyed, a hesitant smile on his face, which was almost immediately hidden by his hand when his brothers whooped from their table. “... God, I'm so sorry … th- they mean well, really, they're not trying to be weird …���
I laughed softly, “it's fine, that's what siblings do, right?”
“... I guess so … I've been sort of … away for a while, but I guess this is pretty standard sibling behavior. … Right?”
“I mean, a little more insistent than mine, but not too far outside the realm of what I’d consider normal.” I shrugged, finishing my chai latte.
He smiled slightly, considering that. “... Hm … um … c- can I get you another?” He gestured to my cup.
“... Sure, I've got time.”
The pleased grin on his face as he looked away to flag down a server surprised me. Then again, everything about him was surprising. Still, no one had ever looked at me quite like that before… 
The server sauntered over, clearly curious about my new companion. Jason smiled brightly; “Hi, can we get another for the lady? And I'll have a medium black coffee, sweet, please.”
Huh. He called me a ‘lady’. Not a girl, or a chick, a lady. That was … also surprising. We chatted for a little while, sipping our coffees, and tried to ignore his staring brothers. He was incredibly awkward, in a sweet, endearing way. I got the impression that he wasn't fully comfortable, but chalked it up to how weirdly this all started. After a while, the first one returned, a small grimace on his face.
I raised an eyebrow; “I'm pretty sure I told the little one that the next one of you to come over was getting stabbed.”
“I know, I know! I'm so sorry, but Jay, we gotta go. Bruce texted…”
That was when it clicked; why I knew the name Jason Todd. He was a Wayne … his death had dominated the news cycle for a week. His miraculous, frankly poorly explained, return was the story for at least two.
He looked, torn, between me and his brother. “Oh … um …”
The man I finally recognized as Dick Grayson leaned forward and fake-whispered, “the words you're looking for are ‘can I have your phone number'?”
Jason swatted him away, blushing bright red; “Seriously, Dick? … well, can I-”
His ears were turning red as I held my hand out for his phone. I added my contact info and, feeling unusually bold, I added ☕💖 after my name while Jason dropped a couple of bills on the table; I smiled a bit, realizing he was leaving enough to cover my first drink for me too. I passed his phone back, enjoying the look of wonder on his face when he checked the screen. The way he whispered my name, like a prayer meant only for god's ears, had my stomach doing backflips.
“thanks … I'll call you?”
“Sounds good. I'm a night owl, so not too early, yeah?”
He nodded eagerly. “Not too early, promise.”
Next ->
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purple-plum-petals · 5 months
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OK I SAW THAT U HAD MATCHUPS OPEN I CAME RUNNING
ALSO NO RUSH, TAKE CARE OF URSELF BTW
so if its okay, i'd like a twst matchup plz!
personality;. I’m a 6w5 ENTP- except i dont really fit into the usual ENTP stereotype. it kind of actually relates to a lot of deeper psychology functions in each personality type. and i usually follow carl jung’s belief that each aspect of a personality is still in a person(even though it isnt common in them) and it can eventually be developed over time soooo yeah
in general, i can be pretty bright and chaotic but I can be super chill when i’m not in the mood for it. i kinda like being a menace and pranking people. sometimes, when I’m feeling extremely hyper, I like to make violent and/or flirty jokes. and i also laugh at my own jokes(but its kinda funny) and i also like to seem overly confident in myself. usually, im straightforward and blunt with people. however, with strangers, i’m more quiet and i won’t really talk to you unless you approach me first and then, i kinda of start smiling and being really friendly.
otherwise, i can actually be really responsible and smart. it’s just that i act dumb at first especially since it’s amusing to see how people would react to it
- Hobbiesss; i really, really like to research online about specific topics or listen to educational podcasts/documentaries/etc. or sometimes, im usually playing video games, or im simply talking to friends or sometimes, i like to chill and read
- dislikes; iii hate insects like i will cry at the sight of one. i dont like ppl who sugarcoat things and/or don’t actually mean what they say. I literally hate feeling bored like its the worst feeling in the world. i also tend to feel a little intimidated with overly tall people that are like over 6ft especially since i am 4”9
- likes; I rlly like horror moviesss/video games and music. i like video games in general too though and i rlly like learning. i also like mysterious and thriller stufffff. i also rlly like rings, i love them so much. anddd my birdss, i love my pets so muchhh- i also really like philosophy. i love math a lot mostly because i’m really good at it and especially because i love problem-solving and coming up with ideas
Thank you for sending in a match-up; I think that either Idia Shroud or Ace Trappola would be good matches for you!
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Idia may be quite tall but, given how bad his posture is, his height shouldn't affect you too horribly considering he's always slouching. You two surprisingly work well together despite your differing energy levels and desire to cause mischief. You both enjoy playing video games and have vast amounts of knowledge on various topics, so Idia would enjoy spending time with you (when you're not too full of energy, that is). Idia would also find your sense of humor to be funny as he seems like the type of person who also laughs at his own jokes, so you two kind of hype each other up when the situation calls for it. He's also a very straightforward person who doesn't sugarcoat things, so most people agree that you two make a great match (even if they may not always appreciate your blunt nature). Idia would enjoy watching horror movies with you, probably laughing and pointing out different inaccuracies throughout the film. He's also a big fan of animals, especially cats, so he'd probably love to be able to pet and play with yours!
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Ace would most definitely be your partner in crime. The two of you constantly get into trouble together whenever and wherever you can given that you both have fun when it comes to playing pranks on others. Ace would find your bluntness to be respectable, but also funny in certain situations since you don't sugarcoat your words (even in situations that may need a gentler delivery). He would also find it interesting that you play dumb around others, especially since he knows you’re a very intelligent and somewhat responsible person; the duality of your personality keeps him on his toes, for better or for worse. Ace, too, also hates feeling bored, so you two would probably always be doing something together whether it be visiting an amusement park or just window shopping together on Sage's Island. He also appreciates that you love horror movies since it's one of his favorite genres as well, so you two can go to the movie theatre and watch them together when you're not busy with class!
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Hii, I hope you are well! I am pretty new/ back to tumblr and just stumbled upon your blog which I really like! I was looking for rules for/ info about matchups and couldn’t find any (unless I’m stupid). So, uh, if you don’t mind and if you feel up to it, may I ask for a ‘Stranger Things’ matchup, please? If not, that’s completely fine 💛 feel free to ignore my ask in that case!
I am a straight female. As for my personality , I’m generally very friendly and caring. If I like/ love someone I will do everything in my power to make them happy and try to make sure they stay happy. My friends aways tell me I’m pretty likeable and extremely loyal and funny - even though my humour is very dry and sarcastic sometimes. Despite me only talking if I feel like I have something worth of saying, I’m usually somehow the one that keeps the conversations flowing in my friend group. My calm and quiet demeanour sometimes makes people think I’m arrogant but I also often heard that people thought of me as very approachable. I feel very confident in my abilities and character but there is one thing that can make me feel insecure in new situations or with strangers: I have a hearing disability which gave me some not so nice experiences with other people. This also tends to make some of my friends feel rather protective of me, especially because I’m generally very forgiving and hate arguments. Although I come across as a nice and patient person some people think they can treat rudely, you better not mess with me. I have often heard that people prefer to not get on my wrong side and that I can be scary. Sometimes I have problems showing affection towards others even though I really do care about them. I can also be pretty stubborn.. In my free time I love to read, learn different languages and take long walks, work out and meet friends. I’m a coffee addict and love cooking as well. What I don’t like is rude and stand-offish people. I really hate when people make mean comments and think it’s funny to joke about other people’s appearances or interests.
Hey! Thank you so much for liking my stuff! I am excited about this matchup for you! I hope you enjoy it!!! Thank you for requesting! <3333
Stranger Things;
Steve Harrington:
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😎 You were in high school with Steve, sharing a few classes with him, and once Steve even asked for your help in Spanish
😎 When Steve first spoke to you, he was a bit intimidated by you, since you were pretty quiet and calm, and hardly spoke, but after speaking to you and asking for your help in class, he realized that you were actually really nice and caring
😎 Ever since then, you and Steve began to grow closer to one another, even though he was a bit of a jerk and was dating Nancy, you thought he was cute
😎 After they broke up, however, you were the first person Steve told, and you tried to reassure him and help him as much as possible; you were thankful for how much Steve changed afterward, (you even took him out to KFC to cheer him up)
😎 He lost his bad boy persona, acted a bit differently, and even started babysitting, which you thought was sweet; you sometimes joined him, meeting the kids
😎 You accidentally got caught up in the Upside Down, literally, you were trapped there for a while, but when you got out, Steve couldn't have been happier; he ran up to you once you were found, wrapping his arms around you as he ranted to you about how worried he was, he was glad that you were safe
😎 After surviving the first wave of the Upside Down, you and Steve hung out almost every day, you were joined by the hip basically, and Steve would even join you and your friends out and about; sometimes when it's just the two of you, you'd go on long walks down the sidewalk at sunset, or Steve would join you while you cook
😎 Back at school, Steve would come over to bring you a coffee, sometimes staying to keep you company if you needed it/wanted it; on one particular day, similar that this one, Steve would confess to you
😎 Steve thought you are wonderful, he loves your love for reading and how loyal and funny you are; Steve couldn't help but fall for you, you are one of a kind
😎 The two are you are the best couple, always patient and understanding with each other, you never had any arguments, always making sure you communicated and talked things out; you both are perfect for each other
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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years
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heyyyy mr ladies man can you give us some more flirting advice please my awkward ass is STRUGGLING
MR LADIES MAN PLEASE. i thought it was funny bc im bitchless is what i mean! but most of my advice is just like.
if ur woman adjacent or a woman or enby etc and ur flirting with another woman you want to avoid approachability and focus on being visible. like as a romantic partner and not a Friend. for most women you sort of default to being very... Bright to appear as non-threatening as possible.
but when you're flirting you want to avoid being uber friendly and be intentional with how you direct your attention. eye contact helps tho ik A Lot of people dislike it, but also keeping your tone of voice even, making sure you're very responsive and engaged to what she's saying.
there's a lot of social dynamics it can involve so it takes a bit of practice and a lot of observing. spitting game is mostly just knowing how and when to insert flattery so that it doesn't feel very forced.
don't lay it on too thick and don't be too familiar. just making your interest clear and showing some sense of authenticity is normally enough. being able to pull flirty one liners will take some more practice.
if it were me, i normally start w a compliment and gauge her reaction. its normally one of three. first being just a thank you which normally means im gonna duck out, second being a thank you + some kind of tidbit for me to keep talking to her (best case scenario) or third, a thank you + a compliment back. if she gives a compliment back she's normally just shy but it can go either way w that one so you'll have to decide for yourself.
in any case, if it's the second ill normally keep trying to talk to her. if i compliment her outfit and she tells me about it, i'll make a joke or two and see how she reacts. i am often accused of being flirtatious (something i actively avoid doing now lol) but i just have a propensity for teasing and im comfortable calling people cute without any sense of embarrassment or shame lmaoo
AFTER that it's just conversation. ask about her and what she's into. you have to be a little more forward and steer the conversation while letting her think she's guiding it. be engaged in what she's saying and listen carefully. throwing in a few carefully placed compliments will get easier over time. once she's comfortable and there's a lull in conversation - assert that you like talking to her and that you'd like to talk to her more (or offer to take her somewhere more secluded if you want to hook up 👍)
be confident is bad advice but it DOES take a lot of balls to put yourself out there. it helps if you can take rejection on the chin and duck out when you feel like she's not feeling you back etc.
it's a big and kinda messy process but all flirting is about intent, attention, and attraction. if one of those three things is out of order it will be a lot harder to do. it's a shallow interaction by nature if it's a stranger so be okay w that also.
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livingdmd · 1 year
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Dating
A really late bloomer, I didn’t start trying to date until I was 29. This was largely because, as a transgender woman, I didn’t understand my own gender identity until I was around 28 years old. My dating life is further complicated by my diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, and my use of a powered wheelchair. Due to all of this, one can understand why I was reluctant to date for many years. After I came to a place where I had a much greater understanding of myself and much improved self-esteem, I decided to “put myself out there”.  In doing so I learned a great deal about myself and how to present myself on dating apps in a way that best represented who I actually was as a person. What follows is a collection of things I came to understand through this process.
Getting Out There
What exactly does “getting out” entail? I think there are many different ways to define it, and that it is different for everyone. To me it simply means making plans to do things you enjoy in a social space.
For some people with disabilities, “getting out” has become a loaded term. Many typically abled people seem to think that the act of going outside as a disabled person is an act of bravery. The biggest example of this being the way people talk to a disabled person in public. Using phrases such as “Wow! So proud of you for being out and about!” or “Look at you, outside of the house. Great job!” infantilizes us and shows a great lack of understanding. And before you ask, yes people do say things like this to me, almost as often as people ask if they can pray for me. One time I was refilling my accessible van at a gas station and the person at the pump across from me told me they were proud of me for getting gas by myself. Another time, I was waiting in line for a concert and was approached by a person off the street who asked if they could pray for me saying “you never know, you might be cured”. All of this makes me feel like people think that my home life is lacking and that I am miserable and unhappy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I am quite content with my life as it is now. I have great friends, hobbies I enjoy, places I like to go, and a positive outlook on life. Why don’t people ask if they can pray for random strangers on the street who aren’t in a wheelchair? It is because they assume physically disabled people such as myself need it the most. People often see a wheelchair and seem to assume that you are a miserable person.
Most typically abled people hold some number of misconceptions about what it means to be a disabled person. I’ve found that people are often afraid to ask us if we are able to do things like go to the beach, swim in a pool, or go bowling. These are all things I enjoy and can still do (albeit with some additional assistance). People seem reluctant to ask me if I would like to participate in these things because they seem afraid that they will offend me. However, what ends up hurting me more is being excluded from things I could do because no one thought to ask. This hurts way more than being asked if I want to do something like go to an amusement park and having to tell someone no (because I don’t think I would enjoy it since actually getting on the rides is too much for me personally). Of course I also need to know how people can best assist me, but that’s something I’ll get back to later.
When using online dating apps, having pictures of myself doing things I enjoy outside of my own home (or even things at home with friends such as Dungeons and Dragons) goes a long way towards dispelling any misconceptions people may have about my disability. It shows that I advocate for myself, that I communicate with others, and that getting out isn’t impossible for someone in a wheelchair. On top of this, pictures of myself enjoying life make me much more attractive to other people. Don’t take 6 selfies in your bathroom and assume anyone is going to believe it when you say “confident, outspoken, and funny”. You can write whatever you want on your dating profile. Having pictures that actually put meaning behind my words goes a long way in establishing initial contact with someone through dating apps.
Being Upfront About What I Want
Everyone communicates differently, and figuring out what works best for you is incredibly valuable. I am somewhat neurodivergent, which also affects how I communicate best with other people. Since relationships are built on communication, understanding I have always been bad at interpreting the signals behind someone’s actions has helped me tremendously in my relationships. Most people try to show their intentions through a variety of gestures, words, and actions to get the other person to interpret and correctly identify what they want. It seems like oftentimes these actions avoid directly telling someone what you want and rely on them deciphering the meaning behind your actions. To me this comes across as an elaborate game with rules that are difficult to understand. Outside of dating, the way I say things has often been misinterpreted and, as a result, I always end up overthinking what I should do or say. This always made dating seem incredibly tiresome to me, because I was constantly evaluating the proper choices. After I grew more confident in myself, I chose to avoid the dating “game” entirely by being upfront about what my expectations are and what I want out of a relationship. I make it clear the first time I invite someone out, that they know I am inviting them out with the intent to see if a relationship can develop. Even if my first encounter with someone is an hour long meeting at a coffee shop, I make sure the other person knows it is a “date”. It feels like people unfortunately tend to think of visibly disabled people as non-romantic and non-sexual beings who aren’t capable of being in a typical relationship. Setting expectations early seems to have kept my relationships from falling into a pattern where I end up investing too much energy in a relationship that was never going to go anywhere.
Meeting in Person, Sooner, Rather than Later
When I first started venturing into dating I would spend weeks trying to get to know anyone I matched with on an app before actually inviting them on a date. This may work for some people, but I found that this approach would lead to me investing way too much in people who often didn’t invest the same amount of interest back. For a variety of reasons, people on dating apps ended up dropping contact with me (ghosting) after weeks of constant communication when I made it clear I wanted to meet them in person for a quick date. Some people online lie about who they are, some people don’t have the intent of moving beyond internet communication, some people might get bored of you by the time you actually invite them on a date, some people are anxious and may just disappear, and a small number of people may be scared off by the idea of actually pursuing a relationship with a disabled person. The point is, this all led to me feeling like I was wasting a ton of my time. I decided to skip all of this and just chat with people I matched with long enough to see if there was interest, and then ask them to go out for a quick coffee/boba tea/smoothie date. This led to more dates (and often more second and third dates), got the awkwardness about the wheelchair out of the way quickly, and helped me move on quickly when something wasn’t going to work out.
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lavenderbexlatte · 4 years
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holding you like this
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stray kids  13.4k words female reader insert Reader x DILF!Hwang Hyunjin  EXPLICIT/NSFW
🖤 warnings: original characters (adult f and child f), single father, unhealthy family dynamics, relationship insecurity, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, breeding/impregnation kink 🖤
🚨🚨 the unhealthy family dynamic warning applies to hyunjin and his parents, NOT hyunjin and his child! there are elements of emotional manipulation and emotional neglect of an adult child by his parents. please don’t read if you would find this content triggering!
connect with me! / masterlist
You prepare yourself for a lot of social what-ifs when you go to the grocery store, but a three-year-old almost taking you out with a headbutt to the knee isn’t usually one of them.
On this particular day, you’re standing in the coffee aisle, scanning the rows of beans, trying to pick between a new roast for your French press, or a new flavor for the automatic drip. You’re not having an easy time of it, either. They all look the same to you. And really, is a French vanilla that different from a caramel swirl? Why are some of these so expensive? They’re all just beans, aren’t they?
The coffee dilemma is taking up all of your conscious focus, so you don’t even hear the tiny footsteps clicking against the industrial tile floor. You don’t see the head of bouncing dark hair, barreling toward you. You don’t notice anything until a tiny body slams right into your leg, and little arms wrap around your knees.
You look down in shock, rocking back to steady yourself so that you don’t topple right over. Your phone nearly slips out of your hand, right onto the head of the very small human peering up at you with big round eyes.
It’s a little girl.
She has glitter extensions and a floor-brushing gown, looking royal and in control right down to the tiny Mary Janes on her feet. She doesn’t look confused or perturbed at all, not even bothered by clinging to a stranger like this. Well, that makes one of you.
“Hello,” the little girl says, her voice high but confident. “What’s your name?”
You tell her, and she nods wisely, in a way that looks incredibly bizarre for someone so young.
“Okay. I’m Minnie,” she says.
“Minnie,” your repeat.
The girl nods, her arms still clamped around your knees. “Like the mouse.”
She points at one of the barrettes clipped into her meticulously styled hair. It’s a flat metal cameo pin of Minnie Mouse, smudged with tiny fingerprints as if she touches it often.
“Cool,” you say awkwardly.
You reach down and gently unwind her arm from around you, freeing yourself, and you kneel down so that you’re at her height. She just looks directly at you, and you can feel the judgmental intelligence behind her gaze. It’s kind of scary.
“I’m three and three-quarters,” she tells you proudly.
“Where’s your grown up?” you ask her.
You don’t really think you’d be much help to this child. You certainly don’t want to have to be responsible for her for too long. Where are her parents, or whoever she came here with?
“My grown up?” she mulls it over, “You mean Daddy. He’s lookin’ at juice.”
“Why aren’t you with him?” you ask.
“Ran away,” she shrugs, “If I run, Daddy chases me.”
“Do you think Daddy likes chasing you?” you ask.
You immediately curse yourself inwardly for asking a preschooler a half-sarcastic question like that. You don’t know this kid from Eden, you can’t just mouth off at her. But Minnie is sharp, and she just smiles at you winningly.
“I dunno. Prob’ly not,” she shrugs again, and you marvel at the big attitude in this small person.
“What if he’s worried about you?”
“Then he should find me,” she answers.
And with that, the kid sits down cross-legged on top of your feet, settling her gown neatly around herself. You’re floored. Apparently, you’ve become the shade tree that this kid is gonna sit under until her poor father finds her. Are all little kids this weird?
You’re not sure what to do. If you move, if you take her and go searching, you could spend all day missing her father at every turn. That means you should probably just stay here and wait for her dad to come to you. At least this way you know the kid’s safe and not running around to meet strangers more dangerous than you.
You get back to your coffee dilemma, as Minnie just sits primly on your feet. It’s not like you could walk away without dislodging her, anyway. And as you pick out a package of coarse-ground beans for your French press, you hear it.
“Minnie!”
An exasperated voice, from the end of the aisle. You turn toward the sound, and the person that you see takes your breath away.
It’s a man, tall and slim, long legs in wide-legged denim. His hair is shoulder-length and blonde, the top half of it held back in a small ponytail at the crown of his head. His face is equal parts angry and relieved, dark thick brows furrowing. The guy is incredibly, distractingly beautiful. You kind of can’t believe it.
“Daddy,” Minnie pipes up, as if confirming it to you.
She leans back against your shins like you’re her personal throne. You look down at her, and then back up at the man as he approaches, dragging a half-full shopping cart behind him.
“I am so sorry,” the man is saying, “She has a mind of her own and sometimes-”
“I made a friend!” Minnie interrupts her father.
The man leans down and scoops his daughter off your feet, plunking her into the basket of his shopping cart.
“You’re in jail, princess,” he tells her curtly.
“I’ll get out,” she replies.
You’re sure that your jaw is actually hanging open several inches as the man turns back to you to continue his rambling apology.
“I really am sorry, um…” he pauses.
“(Y/N),” you fill in for him.
“Right. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you dismiss, “She just wanted to talk. And I wanted to make sure she didn’t get lost. More lost.”
The man grins at you sheepishly. “I’m Hyunjin, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you,” you say.
“I like her,” Minnie calls from her shopping-cart jail cell, “She’s funny.”
“That’s a high honor,” Hyunjin tells you soberly.
“I’m glad to finally hear that someone thinks I’m funny,” you say.
Hyunjin laughs. He has a nice laugh, sharper and shriller than you would have thought, but full and honest. He looks just like Minnie when he smiles. You’re thoroughly charmed.
“Well,” you say, tugging yourself back to reality, “I have some more shopping to do, so…”
“We’re friends now!” Minnie announces.
Hyunjin glances at his daughter. “You two are friends now?”
“Yes!” the girl insists.
Hyunjin returns his gaze to you. “I guess you’re friends now. Any chance you’re up to see us again sometime?”
“See you again?” you repeat, nonplussed.
“Just for coffee, maybe. A playdate?” Hyunjin’s grin is teasing.
“Doesn’t she have other friends?” you ask, “Friends who are more…three years old?”
“Oh, sure. but Min is an equal-opportunity befriender,” Hyunjin says, “She likes everyone.”
You really don’t know what to make of this precocious little girl who’s just declared you her new friend and her very indulgent but admittedly very attractive father. You might consider that he was hitting on you, except that he’s clearly just bending to the will of his very willful child, and that he’s way, way, way out of your league.
“Sure,” you say, finally.
“Cool.”
Hyunjin pulls out his phone and offers it to you with the keypad open. You enter your number and call yourself, and you save each other��s data into your phones. ‘Hyunjin (Minnie’s Dad)’ goes in as your newest contact.
“We’ll text you to make plans!” Hyunjin promises, as he wheels his cart away.
“See you later!” Minnie calls.
She waves furiously at you until the two of them round the corner to the left, toward the checkout counters. You’re left standing there with your package of coffee and butterflies in your stomach.
Just like that, you have a new friend.
---------------
When you do eventually get a text from the number saved as ‘Hyunjin (Minnie’s Dad),’ it’s abundantly clear which of the two is doing the texting.
‘hello!!!!!!’ ‘yo u have to wear’ ‘princess dress!!!!!’
It’s a Thursday afternoon, and you’re at work, sat at your desk overlooking the production floor. Your lunch is just about to end, the boys in assembly below are already getting back to it, and you need to make this quick before your next meeting.
Hyunjin must have helped with the spelling, but that is definitely a message direct from Minnie. You’re debating how exactly to respond to this message, when a call comes in, instead. You answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hi!” The voice on the other end is unmistakable.
“Hi, Minnie,” you say patiently.
“Did you get my text?”
“Of course,” you answer.
“Good. Wear your princess dress,” she says decisively. “Talk to Daddy now.”
The phone clatters loudly like it’s been dropped right on the floor, and you hear a shout in the background. You wince at the noise, but keep the phone pressed to your ear until Hyunjin’s voice replaces his daughter’s.
“Hey, sorry,” he says, “She decided that PJ Masks are more important than this phone call that she DEMANDED I make to invite you for coffee on Saturday.”  
“Coffee, huh?” you repeat.
“Yeah, if that’s okay,” Hyunjin says.
You can hear real hesitation in his voice, and you’re quick to reassure him, “No, no, I think it’s cute. It’s okay.”
“She just never takes to strangers this fast,” Hyunjin explains, and you can’t quite fathom why that piece of knowledge makes your stomach swoop. “I wanna encourage her to see the world as kind of…safe and fun, y’know? Is that stupid? Like, she shouldn’t just run around with strangers, but she shouldn’t be afraid of the world, either.”
“That makes sense,” you assure him.
“We had a talk about it, I think she understands the difference.”
He’s kind of rambling at you. You wonder how often Hyunjin gets a chance to talk parenting with someone.
“No, really, I understand,” you say, “I’d love to do coffee.”
“Great,” he says, “You can meet us at this café…I’ll send you the address. It’s called Mama Dining.”
You’ve never heard of it, but you trust Minnie’s taste. Hyunjin, you can’t say for sure. But you trust that little girl with more blind conviction than is probably necessary.
“Okay, see you then,” you say.
“Cool.” You can hear Hyunjin’s smile in his voice. “Bye, (Y/N).”
“Bye!” comes Minnie’s voice, far away but loud, and you know that she must be screaming as loud as she can.
You laugh, and you hang up.
--------------- Mama Dining is a small glass-front piece of realty across from a folk medicine shop and underneath a square brick apartment building, a few metro stops away from the area where you live. It’s so stuffed full of potted plants and flowers in vases that there’s barely any surface area for anything else, but it’s clean and bright inside. The tables are mismatched with their chairs, and the whole place smells like coffee and sharp herbs and fresh bread.
It’s homey, that’s the word for it. Cozy, and homey.
You’d taken your pint-sized new friend’s advice to the letter, busting out one of the nice dresses that you save for special occasions. The last time you wore it was to a coworker’s wedding; it’s light and floaty and floral, a long floor-length skirt over a tighter inner slip. It’s the closest thing you have to a princess dress. But it’ll have to do.
You check your reflection in the glass as you pull the door open, bells tinkling above your head. As soon as you step into the café, a little voice shrieks at you.
“YES!”
Minnie is sitting at a table in the corner, in a different gown, her hair in an elaborate braided style, half-up and half-down. She’s looking at you with the utmost approval, and even though she’s a three-year-old, you still feel proud that you’re passing her test.
“A princess dress,” she says, satisfied.
“I tried my best,” you say.
You give a silly little spin on the spot, so that your skirt stands out for her, and behind you, someone laughs. You freeze, cheeks heating up.
“You look nice.”
It’s Hyunjin, because of course it is. You turn around to see him in casual jeans and a long sleeve tee, an apron tied around his waist. His hair is pulled back again, off his face. He’s gorgeous. But it kind of looks like…
“Do you work here?” you ask.
Hyunjin nods. “Easiest place to meet up is here, while I’m on shift. Hope that’s okay.”
“It’s fine,” you assure him.
“I’ll get you a coffee,” he says, “What do you like?”
You tell him your regular order, and he heads to the espresso machine to start it up.
“Oh,” he calls, over the sound of the grinder, “And if Judy comes in while you’re here, I’m sorry in advance.”
Judy? Your stomach does an awkward flip at the idea of him inviting you here if he has a girlfriend, or a wife. You don’t think you’ve seen a wedding ring on him, but…
Oh, well. Nothing you can do, at this point. You’re here for the kid, anyway, aren’t you?
You go over to the table where Minnie has set up camp, propped in a booster seat to reach the tabletop. She has a coloring book and a pack of glitter crayons in front of her, and you pull up the second chair to join her. Minnie stares at you for second, her cute upturned eyes so much like her father’s, and then she opens up her coloring book, flipping the pages as carefully as she can.
When she finds what she wants, she sets the book down and rips the page out. It’s a picture of a teacup and saucer on a table, with a pitcher of flowers behind it.
“This is yours,” she says, with the utmost seriousness.
“Okay,” you say, matching her tone, “Can I use your crayons? I didn’t bring mine.”
You kind of expect a kid as serious and assertive as her to be careful about her possessions, but Minnie just upends the crayon box onto the table.
“Yep,” she says.
She grabs a lilac color and dives right into her own coloring page: a dressing table covered in cosmetics and trinkets. You select a red crayon from the pile and join her, filling in the delicate pattern on your teacup.
You can’t explain why it doesn’t feel like babysitting, but it doesn’t. It feels more like…coexisting. Like this preschooler really is just happy to have your company.
What a weird kid.
Hyunjin comes over after a moment with your coffee. The café is empty aside from you three, so he sits down at the table with you, placing the cup with your drink down beside the precarious pile of crayons.
“Daddy can’t color,” the kid tells you.
“Really?” you ask, looking up at Hyunjin wryly.
Hyunjin raises his hands as if in defeat, “My talents lie in performing arts, not studio arts. Unlike this renaissance child, who can do it all.”
It’s obvious that Hyunjin adores his daughter. You can see it in his eyes as he watches her scrub her crayons across the picture, in the way he talks about her. You’re not around kids a lot, but you can tell that this little girl has a lot of love in her life. That’s probably why she’s so bold; outgoing, kind, and well-adjusted kids are usually well-loved kids.
You smile to yourself as you keep coloring, switching the red for a grey. And after a while, you’re aware of Hyunjin’s watching gaze focused not on his daughter, but on you.
Embarrassed by the attention, you look up and meet his eye. He’s just watching you, with a lopsided smile that shows all of his teeth and crinkly smiling eyes that emphasize the little mole under his bottom eyelid on one side.
“What?” you ask.
He gives himself a little shake.
“Sorry,” he says.
It seems like all he does is apologize to you when he’s done nothing wrong at all.
“I was just thinking, it’s really sweet that you’re here,” he admits.
“Sweet?” you ask.
He tilts his head. “Yeah. How many people do you know who would come across town just to hang out with a little kid?”
You take a sip of the coffee. It’s perfect. Maybe the best you’ve ever had. Is he even real?
“Well, she’s like the coolest person I’ve ever met,” you say, “Regardless of age.”
“Yeah, she is,” Hyunjin says fondly.
“I’m cool,” Minnie agrees.
The doors of the café open softly, and you and Hyunjin turn around simultaneously to see a young couple, maybe college students, seating themselves and talking softly. Hyunjin excuses himself to go help them, and you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.
What are you even doing here?
Did you agree to come on this very strange playdate because you were so taken by a strange child that you felt the need to keep a promise you made to her? Or, on some level, did you just want to see Hyunjin again? Neither answer is particularly good. Or sane.
“You and Daddy can be friends, too.”
Your head snaps up when you realize you’d being addressed, and you regard Minnie. “What?”
“You and Daddy can be friends. You’re my friend, but Daddy, too.”
You hum, as if you’re really puzzling it over, when in reality you’re about to collapse from the embarrassment of this child inadvertently setting you up with her dad. Or maybe advertently. You have no idea how smart she actually is.
“How does it look?” you ask instead, holding up your drawing.
Minnie puts down her crayon and scrutinizes your picture as if she’s a museum collections pro scouting for art.
“Do pink flowers,” she says eventually, and she returns to her own drawing with the same intensity.
“Good idea,” you say.
You pick out a rosy pink color and try to will all your nerves about Hyunjin away. He’s just a new friend. The father of you new littlest friend. You can’t make this weird just because he’s good-looking. Hyunjin himself has vanished into the back kitchen, tucked away to prepare something. You can hear a stove going, cutlery clattering.
The café door opens again as you’re idly listening to the sounds of the kitchen. This time, it’s a middle-aged woman with a long black ponytail and a practical, motherly outfit. She greets the young couple cheerfully, and then she sets her eyes on you.
“My Min!” the lady coos, and Minnie looks up from her drawing.
“Hi. I’m coloring.”
“I can see that,” the lady says, coming up closer to lean on the table next to your casually, “And who is this?”
“(Y/N),” Minnie answers.
“I see.”
The woman is smiling, but her eyes are regarding you coolly, as if she’s sizing you up. You just offer her a nervous smile, unsure who this is or why she knows the kid.
Hyunjin emerges from the kitchen then, timing perfect, a plate holding a large grilled sandwich in hand.
“Oh, hey, Judy,” he says, on his way past to give the couple their lunch.
Judy? This is the Judy that he mentioned earlier? Not to be ageist, you think, but she seems too old to be Hyunjin’s partner. But romantic relationship or not, you can understand why he apologized on her behalf; she’s already giving you incredibly intense vibes.
“(Y/N)’s picture goes on the wall with mine, okay, Judy?” Minnie says suddenly.
“Sounds like a plan,” Judy agrees, “Now, is someone going to tell me who this young lady is?”
Moving very quickly and pretending that he’s not, Hyunjin rejoins the three of you over in your corner, setting a comforting hand on Judy’s shoulder. You can’t help but wonder if he’s doing it as a means of subtly holding her back.
“Min made friends with her at the store the other day after one of her famous mad dashes,” Hyunjin says. “And we figured the polite thing to do after that would be to invite her for a cup of coffee.”
“I see,” Judy says.
Her face softens at Hyunjin’s words, even though she’s still looking you over quizzically, like she can’t decide how to feel about you being there.
“Well, welcome,” she says, finally, “I’m Judy. This is my café.”
She extends her hand to shake, and you take it. Her hand is slim and pretty, heavy with a few jeweled rings and slightly roughened on the fingertips from hard work.
“She takes care of us,” Minnie pipes up.
“I try to,” Judy agrees. “They need all the help they can get.”
“I resent that!” Hyunjin says.
“But really, I just use this pretty face to attract customers,” Judy continues, waving a hand at Hyunjin.
He squawks his outrage, and you can’t help the smile that creeps over your face.
“The teens see this face and they come right in. It’s like magic,” Judy says, as if she’s being purposefully oblivious to how much she’s embarrassing him.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” you say.
And you mean it, too. Hyunjin obviously has an unconventional support system going on, with this woman who he introduced by her first name and not by her relation to him. It leads you to believe they’re not blood-related or anything. It doesn’t really matter, though. She seems nice, if not a little protective.  
“Nice to meet you, too,” Judy says, with such heavy finality that you feel as though you’ve just cleared a hurdle.
And from the way Hyunjin’s whole body perks up at her words, maybe you have. Why do you get the feeling that this was the equivalent of a meeting-the-parents moment?
As quickly as the atmosphere had heightened, it settles back to the lazy calm it was before. Judy pats Minnie’s head fondly and disappears into the back of the café, not to reappear. Hyunjin returns to his work, and you take back up the task of neatly filling in the coloring page, careful not to upstage your tiny host and her not-quite-developed motor skills.
It’s a slow afternoon.
The young couple eats their lunch across the room, adding only a quiet hum of activity to your surroundings. Minnie tells you stories while you work, regaling you with the deep inner workings of preschooler life.
“Their names are Sage and Ginger!” she’s saying happily.
You haven’t been listening closely enough, clearly, because you’re stumped. “Whose names?”
“The babies!”
“What babies?”
“From Blue’s Clues & You,” she huffs.
Oh. You vaguely remember the original Blue’s Clues show, but you can’t say you know exactly what she’s talking about. Is she talking about…the sentient salt and pepper shakers? Do they have babies? Why do they have babies?!
“That’s cool,” you say, with level enthusiasm.
Minnie looks at you flatly, but accepts your words with a nod. “They’re cute. So little!”
It goes on like that, bits of kids’ programming trivia and input on your crayon color choices. The couple leaves, and you can see Hyunjin zeroing back in on you as he lets them out with a wave and a call to come back soon.
“How’s it going?” he asks.
You pick up your drawing, for him to see. You’ve been finished with it for a while now (it’s a children’s coloring book, so it’s not all that intricate) but you don’t want to appear unengaged, so you’ve been going over your lines and blurring out the crayon marks. His eyes crinkle up with joy at the sight of it.
“Done!” Minnie announces.
She brandishes her own drawing, too, and Hyunjin beams at the two of you with equal pride.
“Can I put these up?” he asks.
“Together,” says Minnie.
“You got it.”
He takes both rough-edged pages and whisks them away to the counter. Behind the register, on an expanse of wall, there’s a collection of doodles and coloring pages that you hadn’t noticed when you walked in. They must all be Minnie’s; the bold coloring strokes are all the same, her heavy hand immortalized in wax and marker and glitter pen.
Hyunjin tacks up the pictures side by side on the wall.
It’s the tiniest gesture in the world, really. You can’t even count how many scraps of paper, how many school notebooks and work memos that you’ve scribbled on over the course of your life. You’ve colored kids’ menus at restaurants, done detailed adult coloring books at mixers. Somehow, this one ragged coloring page tacked to the wall of a café seems like a turning point in your life.
You wonder when you got so sentimental. It’s silly, but it’s there; warm happiness in your chest.
When Minnie begins to wilt, saying in not so many words that she’s getting tired, you know that your playdate time is coming to an end. It’s only been an hour and a half, maybe two, but that’s an awful long time to keep such a young kid occupied on one activity. You’re proud of yourself, honestly.
“She’ll go down for a nap soon, before dinner,” Hyunjin tells you softly, “You can head out if you want. I don’t wanna monopolize your day.”
“I think I will,” you agree.
It’s been a nice time, but you’re not one to overstay your welcome.
You say goodbye to Minnie, who insists on giving you another crushing full-body hug, and you make it all the way to the door before you realize Hyunjin is following you.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
“Walking you out,” he replies.
“I’m just going to my subway stop.”
“Then let me walk you to it,” he says.
You struggle to hold back your smile at his easy grace. “Okay, sure.”
The two of you set out into the afternoon, side by side, for the short walk from this inner part of the neighborhood to the metro stop that will take you back home. The breeze tugs at your skirt and ruffles Hyunjin’s apron, and you can’t help but sneak sidelong peeks at him as you walk.
“I hope Judy didn’t scare you too much,” he says.
“She’s intense. But I can tell that it’s out of love,” you reply.
He laughs at that, and you continue your slow meander down the unlined streets.
“She’s like an adoptive mom to me,” Hyunjin tells you. “I’m lucky to have her.”
“Oh,” you say, curious but knowing that you shouldn’t ask.
The two of you walk a while longer in your quiet bubble, but eventually, Hyunjin sighs.
“I don’t talk to my parents,” he says, “It’s not that crazy. Just how it is.”
“You don’t have to tell me more if you don’t want, I understand.”
“And now I’m oversharing. Sorry,” he winces.
You shake your head, “It’s not a bother, I just won’t pry.”
Hyunjin considers this, and nods. “It’s just me and Min, so Judy’s been a livesaver. Mom and auntie and grandma all in one.”
Just him and Min, which means no wife and no serious girlfriend. That makes you feel a bit better. You’d hate to get in the way of a serious relationship, even indirectly. Minnie is a nice kid, and you like her, but you’re not her nanny or her babysitter or anything. You’d hate to be that kind of person, shoving yourself into a family where you have no business being.
“But…I wanted to know…would you wanna hang out again?” Hyunjin asks.
You laugh gently. “For Min? I’d walk into traffic. Yes, I’ll hang out again.”
“Not with Min,” Hyunjin says, voice soft and hesitant. “With me.”
The word that falls out of your mouth before you can stop it is, “Why?”
Hyunjin snorts, and then breaks out laughing, harder than you’ve ever heard him laugh.
“Because I think you’re cool?” he says eventually. “You’re cute and you like my kid, which is more than I can say about ninety percent of the people I meet.”
This was not part of the plan. Not that you had a plan, but come on. You were here to hang out with a super weird toddler, to entertain a precocious little girl because it’s cute and fun, not to be asked out by her dad. Her gorgeous dad, who’s so out of your league that it makes your head spin.
You spare a thought to wonder if he’s playing a prank on you.
“Unless…” Hyunjin draws away from you (when did he get so close?), “Unless you’re already seeing someone? God, I didn’t even think – I’m sorry, I just-”
“No, you cut in quickly, “No, I’m not-”
“Am I being weird? I’m being weird,” he laughs, and he almost sounds…nervous?
“You’re not being weird,” you assure him, “You just surprised me. I didn’t think…” 
“Then you’ll go out with me?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you say, surprising yourself, “Yeah. I will.”
Hyunjin’s smile is the fucking sun coming up. It warms you right down to your toes.  
“I’ll call you,” he promises, “I’ll call and we can make plans.”
“Okay,” you agree.
The dimly-glowing sign marking the subway entrance looms ahead, and Hyunjin falls back, as you approach the down escalator.
“I’ll call you!” he says, again.
You wave as you go down the escalator, and once he’s out of sight, you practically melt. You have no idea why life is throwing you this curveball, but you’re not complaining.
---------------
True to form, it’s Minnie who calls you some days later. Not Hyunjin, the adult who presumably has control over the phone and has to dial the call. No, it’s the toddler whose voice filters over the line, the toddler who is undeniably and ultimately in control of her father’s whole world.
“Hi, (Y/N)!”
“Are you supposed to be making calls?” you tease.
“It’s okay, I have a mission,” she tells you.
“A secret mission?”
“Maybe…” Minnie’s voice pulls away from the phone, and you can hear her shout, “Daddy! Is it a secret mission?!”
Hyunjin’s voice calls something in reply, and then Minnie returns.
“Yeah, a secret mission,” she says.
“What’s your mission?”
“We gotta know, do you like Japan food or Italy food better?”
“Hmmm,” you think out loud, “I think I just like food.”
“Me too,” Minnie agrees, “I just like food.”
There’s another shout from Hyunjin that you can’t make out.
“Daddy says it’s gonna be a s’prise, then,” Minnie reports.
“Surprises are fun,” you say.
“It’s okay?” she asks.
“It’s okay,” you confirm.
“Okay! I gotta go. Talk to you later!”
Minnie hangs up, and you burst out laughing so hard that tears pool at the corners of your eyes. She manages to make it sound like she has a high-powered meeting that you’re keeping her from. How does she hide all of that thirty-five-year-old boss energy in her cute little self?
But more important than the absurd circumstance of the call is the outcome. You’re going on a real date. With Hyunjin. You try to pretend that a whole swarm of butterflies haven’t hatched in your gut.
You have a date with Hyunjin.
---------------
The date goes well.
It goes incredibly well, in fact. If you thought Hyunjin was pretty and charming when he was in more domestic setting, with his kid and at his job, that was nothing compared to fully-focused-grownup Hyunjin on a date.
He dresses well, he’s funny and he’s gentle, he nearly cries because the dish you order to share is too spicy for him. He’s got all the puppylike charm of the young man that he is, and this underlying tired seriousness of the doting single father that he is.
You argue with him until he lets you split the bill for the meal, and he gives you a gentle kiss on the lips when he leaves you at your subway stop. It’s like a fairytale.
So you go out again, and again, and again, still. Sometimes it’s barbeque in your neighborhood, at an outdoor restaurant with great side dishes handmade by the older couple who own the place. Sometimes it’s just coffee and a long chat at a 24-hour café. You haven’t been to his home, yet, and he hasn’t been to yours, but it’s refreshing to just take things slowly with him, when the rest of life moves so fast.
Underneath the fun of being with Hyunjin, though, is the doubt.
Everything you see makes you more and more certain that he’s not a real person. He’s a dating sim come to life. He’s so good-looking that teenage girls stop to whisper and giggle about him, and passing aunties give him bold compliments. Dogs like him, service staff like him, little kids like him. And you understand it; you like him tremendously.
You’re not entirely sure why he likes you, though. Compared to him, you’re kind of reserved, kind of plain. It’s not that you don’t like yourself, but you’re a cottage to Hyunjin’s skyscraper, a woodwick candle to his disco ball. Just different realms entirely.
It doesn’t matter, you suppose, because regardless of his motivation or your understanding, you’re spending more and more time with Hyunjin, and Minnie.
You learn that it’s Hyunjin who does her hair every day, creating looks with pins and braids and tiny ponytails. He grew out his own hair to the length it is now to practice on, he tells you one day. You learn that Minnie only likes crunchy vegetables, raw carrots and the stems of lettuce, and that she can inexplicably eat much spicier food that her father can.
You’re comfortable being part of the mundane. But Hyunjin seems to have different aspirations for the two of you, in your casual and fluid relationship, still without titles or formalities.
“I want to take you somewhere nice.”
You glance up from your laptop, blinking to get the fuzziness out of your vision at you look at Hyunjin where he leans over the prep counter. It’s a weekend, but you have a pile of leftover work to get through before Monday, so you’ve set up camp at the café for the afternoon. Hyunjin is on shift, and he’s been slinging you snacks and coffees between customers. It’s been just the two of you, work obligations notwithstanding, and it’s been…domestic.
“This isn’t nice enough?” you quip.
“You know what I mean,” he rolls his eyes, “Like a real date.”
“Oh, so now you’re saying the first half dozen dates weren’t real?”
Hyunjin sticks out his thick lower lip in a pout. “What happened to the shy awkward person I met at the store? Bring her back, please, this (Y/N) is mean to me!”
You laugh. “Where did you want to go?”
“There’s this place I haven’t been to in years. It’s really nice, my aunt used to take us back when family outings were more my thing,” he says.
“Sounds okay,” you decide.
“You’d have to dress up,” he warns, “Like, for real. I’ll have to dig out a suit.”
“That’s fine.”
You turn your attention back to your laptop, trying to hide your flustered face at the idea of Hyunjin cleaning up extra nice for you, Hyunjin in a fitted suit and shined shoes. He might notice it anyway, though, if the smile that lights up his face as he turns back to the kitchen is any hint.
---------------
It’s decided that Hyunjin will pick you up from work and drive the two of you to your first fancy date. So that morning, you hitched a ride with a coworker so as not to strand your car at the office overnight, carrying your change of clothes in a bag. The downside of that was having to explain to your coworker what necessitated the change, and your team quickly found out that you have a date. The teasing hasn’t stopped all day, good-natured ribbing all during your shift, about stoic, shy supervisor (Y/N) going on a hot date with a mystery man.
You stand in front of the full-length mirror in your office’s nice bathroom, the one reserved for visitors who can’t pee with the staff. The one with potpourri on the counters and immaculate tile floors. You’ve gone for a menswear look yourself, wide-legged slacks and a silky blouse, and heels. Hyunjin’s already seen you in a nice dress, you figure, and besides, clinging to the businesswear that you already don at work gives you just a bit more nerve.
Somehow, a date at a nice restaurant that holds some sentimental value for him is more serious than anything you’ve ever done, more intimate than splitting cakes at the café and watching Minnie force the other kids to take turns on the slide at the playground.
You adjust your French tuck just a bit, make sure that your necklace hangs neatly, and deem yourself as good as you’re gonna get. You walk out of the bathroom, bag now holding your work clothes tucked under your arm, only to see a whole group of your production team boys waiting for you.
The company where you work is a decently large tech manufacturing plant, and as a production manager, you oversee a team of techs and assembly workers who tend to be on the younger side, and much more often are young men close to your age. They’re all nice boys who you’re quite close to, but they’ve already been on your case all day. Several of them are right here in the hall, now, ready to make fun of you the way that annoying little brothers are meant to do.
“Jeez, (Y/N), out for blood,” says Taehyun, his silica filter mask hanging off one ear.
“Don’t be gross,” you say, rolling your eyes.
“It’s true, you’re really going all out for this date, huh?” adds Jeongin.
“Quit it before I vom and then report you all to HR,” you say.
“Oh, come on,” says Taehyun, “I’ve worked for you for like two years and I’ve never seen you have fun on purpose before.”
“That can’t be true,” you argue, walking toward the front of the building with your little line of assembly-boy ducklings following behind.
“On your birthday, you asked us to get you a firm handshake and a new set of pages for your planner,” Jeongin deadpans.
“You’re Ron Swanson with tits,” Jaemin says.
“Charming,” you glance at him, and he shrugs.
“It’s true.”
Car headlights shine in the picture windows that span the front of your building, and you can make out a small red car sitting in the visitor’s parking right by the door.
“Please don’t embarrass me,” you implore the boys, as you haul open the heavy glass door to let yourself out.
“We would never do that,” Jeongin says, defensive.
“Maybe we should talk to your date, though,” Jaemin suggests, “Rough him up a little.”
“Yeah, please don’t ever do that,” you say, “I’m leaving now.”
The driver’s side window is rolled down, and you can see Hyunjin leaning out, waving to you. You walk around to the passenger’s side of the car as fast as you can, giving your stupid underlings as little time as possible to ruin things.
You slide into the seat and slam the door behind you right as you hear one of the boys yell, “GET HER HOME SAFE. BY TEN.”
“Oh my God, go, drive away,” you groan.
“Who are they?” Hyunjin asks, amused, as he backs out of the parking spot.
“They work for me,” you say. “They wanna intimidate you, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“They must really like you,” he says.
“No, they just really like being annoying.”
Hyunjin laughs, glancing at you as he maneuvers onto the main road.
“You look really great,” he says, sounding a little bit shy.
“Thanks.”
“The restaurant isn’t far,” Hyunjin says, “But I wanted to look cool and drive you.”
“I already think you’re cool,” you tease.
“Well if you’d told me that before, we could have called a cab,” he says.
“Nah, I wanted to see your car,” you say, turning around in your seat to get a full view of the interior, “Big pink carseat and all.”
“Min’s constantly telling me to just get a pink car to match,” Hyunjin says, “I don’t know if I could pull that off, though.”
“With your good looks and princess hair? I think you could.”
“Good to know. Next car, pink,” he says.
Hyunjin wasn’t lying about the restaurant being close by, because the whole drive is less than fifteen minutes. You’ve barely relaxed when he pulls up to the street parking outside a modest building with a pretty marquee and rough brick siding.
“This is it?” you ask, peeking out at the building.
“Yep.”
You scrutinize the restaurant as two of you get out of the car, and you can tell instantly that it’s an upscale place. Everything from the valet in front to the fabric of the curtains reeks of steaks that cost a paycheck and truffles in every possible dish. You’re kind of excited for it.
The maître-d greets you warmly, and brings you to a table against the window, with a view into a small back garden full of lanterns and lit trellises. The table itself is a delicate wooden thing, with full-course silverware and origami napkins. Candles dance on the tabletop, a single red rose in a vase brightening the whites and silvers of it all.
Hyunjin must know a thing or two about romance, because you’re properly wowed. It’s so stereotypically wonderful, it makes for a great sixth-or-seventh date. You’ve known him long enough that you know he’s not trying to blindly impress you, but just to treat you.
You wonder what kind of family he has, that they would bring him to a place like this as a kid or a teenager.
When the waitress, a pretty young woman in server’s blacks, comes over, the two of you order from the set menu and argue only a little about what dishes to taste and what wine to have.
“They’re barely Brussels sprouts,” you’re saying, “They’re covered in oil and bacon and shit.”
“They’re green vegetables,” he counters.
“They’re gourmet, don’t be a baby.”
Starters come and quickly disappear.
The main course comes, and by this point, you’re a glass or so of wine deep, and Hyunjin is only looking more and more handsome, as your stomach starts to be comfortably filled and the drinks warm you up from the inside.
Hyunjin’s gazing at you between bites of his dinner, expression so soft that you wonder if he’s gonna lean right across the table to kiss you. It’s tender, it’s lovely, and it’s unlike any other date you’ve ever had.
But a woman’s shrill, furious voice shatters the entire atmosphere with a single sharpened word.
“Hyunjin?!”
It’s almost comical, the way Hyunjin freezes with his fork halfway to his mouth, eyes wide and startled. It’s only almost comical, because this emotion seems to be very real fear on his part. He keeps his eyes on his plate, but you look toward the sound.
There’s a woman approaching your table, thin and elegant and beautiful. She’s got only the faintest age lines on her perfectly made-up face, and her clothes are designer, a plum-colored dress that brushes her knees and a handbag worth more than your whole closet. She doesn’t even spare you a glance, zeroing in on Hyunjin as she comes to stand right beside the table, puffed up in self-righteous anger like a provoked bird.
“Hwang Hyunjin!” she barks.
Hyunjin turns his head so slowly that you wonder if he’s even moving at all, until finally he’s looking at her.
“Of all the places – what on EARTH are you doing?!” she asks him, tone stiff and angry.
It’s the kind of tone that you can imagine her using to yell at waitstaff, or berate the hotel bellhop.  She’s that kind of wealthy, you can just tell. You’ve been dodging people like this your whole adult life, working your way up in the tech field, littered with its new and old money. You glance at Hyunjin, but the urgency in his face tells you to hold your tongue.
“I’m eating,” he says finally.
“Your aunt told me you were still in the city,” she says, “I can’t IMAGINE what you’ve been up to that you haven’t had time to even call, the nerve-”
“Mother,” Hyunjin says evenly, “You’re interrupting a nice time.
Mother. This is Hyunjin’s mother?
As if she’s just noticed that you’re there, she rounds on you. “And who is this?”
The disgust in her voice makes your stomach twist unpleasantly. It’s been a long while since someone has been so openly dismissive of you. Not since you were a student, you think, but God does it hurt.
“This is my date,” Hyunjin answers.
His words are clipped, like he really doesn’t want to say more.
“Well, obviously,” his mother sniffs, condescending, “What is her NAME?”
“You don’t get to know that,” Hyunjin says.
You know that Hyunjin is distant with his parents. He’s mentioned that they don’t talk anymore, and that they don’t really know his daughter at all. But it speaks volumes that he doesn’t even want his mother to know your name.
“And where did you meet this shining example of gilt wood pretending to be gold?” she asks, “The community center? The food bank?”
“There’s no need to be mean,” Hyunjin says, much more calmly than you would be able to, “We’re trying to have dinner. You should leave.”
“I’ve finished my meal. I’m on my way out,” his mother says haughtily, “But I saw you and I needed to come say something.
“No, don’t let us keep you,” Hyunjin says, gesturing toward the exit with his still-full fork.
“Hyunjin, when are you going to give up this ridiculous act and come back to make things right?” she asks, and though the tone is sincere, there’s no warmth behind it.
“Never,” he replies, “Things are just the way I want them.”
This woman, in her all finery and dignified air, stamps her foot on the ground like a child having a tantrum.
“You’re making a mockery of our family, you know that, yes?” she asks.
“You’re the one yelling at me and embarrassing yourself in a restaurant full of people,” Hyunjin points out.
“You are an aggravating and ungrateful child,” his mother hisses.
“Maybe,” Hyunjin agrees, “But I’m happy.”
Perhaps sensing that she’s starting to make a scene, his mother glances around at the other patrons, who are trying to hide the way they’re listening in with varying levels of success. Your waitress is lingering by the edge of the service floor, eyes glued on the scene.
“You’ll come to your senses,” she promises darkly. “And you’ll come begging for my help. We’ll see if I take pity on you then.”
And with that, she turns around and stalks toward the exit, not even pausing as she barks at the valet to bring her ride around. You watch until she’s outside and out of sight, and then you focus on Hyunjin.
His hands are shaking so badly that his fork clatters against his plate. You reach out and cover his hand with yours, easing the fork out of his grip and laying it down. You feel horrible, and kind of sick, but you know that between the two of you, Hyunjin is worse, so you have to push that discomfort down, just for a while.
“Let’s finish our dinner, okay?” you say, “And then we can talk about this.”
---------------
The rest of the date isn’t agonizing, but it is uncomfortable. You chat, and joke, albeit without the same easy grace as before. Seeing his mother, and having her speak to both of you that way has really seemed to rattle Hyunjin more than a confrontation usually would.
You settle the tab, splitting it like you always do, and then you find yourselves on a bench outside the restaurant, set away from the main road. It’s dark, and it’s chilly, but it’s comfortable with the gentle atmospheric music from the restaurant marquee and the sounds of traffic.
“Min’s mom wasn’t ready for a baby.”
You glance at Hyunjin at the sound of his voice. He’s fiddling with the cuffs of his blazer, still looking distinctly unsettled.
“Neither of us were,” he amends.
“Was she a hookup?” you ask.
“A girlfriend,” he says, “But not…she was just a girl from a good family. Someone my parents thought would be a good match, so we dated for a long time.”
“A good match,” you repeat, “A good match for you?”
“A good match for the family,” he says bitterly.
“What does that matter?”
“Oh, it matters. Way more than what I want,” he says.
“They’re really rich, aren’t they?” you ask, thinking about his mother’s clothes, and her attitude, and pretty much everything about her, “Your parents, I mean.”
“Disgustingly rich.”
“Oh.”
“She’s a really nice girl, a good person. But she really didn’t want to be with me forever, and she certainly didn’t want a kid,” Hyunjin says.
“So what happened?” you ask.
“She broke things off when she got pregnant, which made both of our families pissed beyond belief. The proper thing to do would have been to get married, right? But instead she ended the relationship, and moved home,” Hyunjin says, “They took care of Min for like a year and a half, her parents and a nanny.”
“Not the mom?”
Hyunjin shakes his head. “She just didn’t want a kid. Which is okay, more than okay. Our parents were the ones who wanted to keep the pregnancy, not her. I just wanted everyone to stop fighting.”
You just nod. Hyunjin is keeping this story so purposefully vague, not dropping names or placing blame or really showing any anger. You wonder how much time he’s spent thinking about this story, or telling it in different ways. He seems almost desensitized to it all.
“When Min was almost two, her mom asked if I would take on full custody so she could sign away her parental rights and be out of the picture for good. And I figured,” Hyunjin laughs bitterly, “I figured, better to have one parent that loves you the most than two while one is half-assing it.”
“No, I can see that,” you say.
“Minnie lived with me at my parents’ house until they realized that my ex was never coming back. They always figured we’d get back together.”
“Why?!” you ask, incredulous.
Hyunjin looks at you. “Because that would be the dutiful thing to do. Get married, stay together for the kid, avoid any embarrassing attention on the families.”
“Even if that meant you were both miserable forever?”
Hyunjin turns his gaze back at the ground, sighing. “My parents said they wouldn’t support me if I couldn’t even do that one thing right and convince my ex to do right by the families and marry me. But I wasn’t gonna force her. She’s a good person. just in over her head, and scared. And I can’t blame her for that. I can’t forgive her. But I understand.”
“So, what, they kicked you out?”
“Kicked me out, cut me off,” Hyunjin nods. “I used to be set for life, with their money to back me up. I could have fucked around forever, lived comfy. They took it all away because I wouldn’t marry a girl who didn’t love me and just wanted to live her own life.”
“You’re a good person,” you say.
“It was an easy choice,” he quips, some of his usual humor returning now that he’s gotten the stress of his story out of his mind, “Either my parents, who only love me conditionally, or my daughter, who loves the biggest and best out of anyone ever.”
You laugh, but you can’t shake the new strange feeling that has settled over you, now that you know all of this about him. Knowing that Hyunjin is the rejected son of a wealthy family, a silver-spoon kid with a heart of gold. It only validates some of those nagging feelings that in some unavoidable way, Hyunjin is far, far too good for you.
He’s given up a life of luxury and security for his daughter, and his freedom. You’re not about to make him compromise on anything else, ever. At all.
“Min doesn’t even miss any of them,” Hyunjin says thoughtfully, “Doesn’t even ask.”
“That’s good, I guess,” you say.
He shrugs. “Means that she’s not too fucked up from bouncing around like that as a baby, which is a fuckin’ blessing.”
“She’s safe and happy with you now, though,” you say.
Hyunjin grins at you. “But you know who’s been a great parent influence on her?”
“Who?”
“You.”
You laugh. “I’m no parent, trust me.”
“I dunno, you’re pretty great with her,” he says airily, “I don’t trust my kid with just anyone.”
“You gotta stop being so nice to me,” you say. “You’re gonna give me ideas.”
“Ideas like what? Afraid I’ll wanna take you out on a date? Introduce you to my kid? Oh wait-”
“Shut up!” you whine, nudging him. “I just…can’t believe you like me, sometimes. Like, that you really like me, like this.”
“Of course, I like you,” Hyunjin says, dumbfounded, “We’ve been going out for weeks.”
“Yeah, and that only started because Min told you that she wanted to be friends with me.”
“Did you really think that I got your number that day because I wanted you to be friends with my three-year-old?” Hyunjin asks.
“Yes!” you answer, totally honest, “Yes, I did. I think that you would do anything in the world for that kid, even something stupid like inviting me out.”
You stand up, suddenly needing some space, some air that isn’t warm from Hyunjin’s presence by your side or scented with his soft cologne. He just watches as you pace a few short steps away from the bench.
“It was maybe twenty percent because she was being so cute with you,” he says desperately, “But the other eighty percent was for me.”
You can’t believe that. Sure, part of you hoped for it, because it’s truly so insane to just let your preschooler make friends with random women in public. It makes sense for him to have an ulterior motive. You’d hoped that it was really him who was interested, even if he just intended to hook up with you and then cut it off.
It’s beyond obvious to you that you’ve fallen hard for Hyunjin, even in just this short time. The idea of him feeling anything like that for you is much harder to fathom.
“I know you care about me, at least a little,” Hyunjin says, standing up to join you, “At least, I hope you do. Something, some chance that you like me as more than a friend, or a casual date…”
“I do,” you say, voice strangled and tiny, “But you…you’re-”
“I’m what? I’m a father already? I have too much baggage for you?”
Your heart breaks a little bit more as he says that, as you imagine other people in the past dumping him with those exact words. The conviction in his voice is all that you need to picture it; a different person, a different night, the same outcome.
“No!” you insist.
“Then what?”
You bite the bullet, and you say it. “Because you’re beautiful, Hyunjin. You’re perfect. You have a wonderful kid and a nice life that you’ve built for her and yourself after all of that shit you went through. You…you’re too good for me.”
Hyunjin recoils like he’s been slapped. “How can you think that?”
“I just look at your life, and I can’t possibly picture you moving things around just to fit me in,” you say.
“How can you think that there’s not already space for you?! Can’t you see that you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long, long time?” he asks.
“Because I’m…” you struggle, “I’m boring, Hyunjin, I don’t know! I’m not worth changing for.”
“That’s bullshit,” he scoffs. “You’re letting my mother get to you, which is just what she wants.”
“Then I’m just not right for you,” you say, trying to ignore his comment about his mother and how absolutely right it is. “You have this cute little picturesque life, and I have my normal job and my hobbies and my family and friends and I would just…be in the way.”
“You’re not in the way now,” Hyunjin says.
“We’re not a serious couple now!”
“Why can’t you just let me like you?!”
He’s practically yelling now, keeping his distance and nearly folding in on himself as he looks at you with eyes that are far too shiny. It’s not the yelling that gets to you, but what he’s saying.
“Because it’s scary!” you yell back. “I don’t want to lose you, or your kid, but I know that-”
“I can show you,” he pleads.
He draws in a little closer, like he’s afraid he’s going to spook you. Against your stubborn brain’s protests, you reach out to thread your fingers with his.
You don’t want to lose him.
But as disgusting and cliché and self-deprecating as it is, you just can’t fathom someone like him wanting to be with someone like you.
Hyunjin leans more fully into your gentle grasp, pulls you right up close to him so that the two of you are toe to toe, there on the street outside the restaurant, as cars pass by and streetlights cast their dim yellow light over it all. He’s looking right into your eyes, expression firm and warm and so, so Hyunjin. You can feel your heart fluttering in your chest as you scan his face for nervousness or insincerity, and find none.
He’s looking at you the way he looks at Minnie when she falls asleep on the couch watching Frozen 2 for the millionth time. The way he looks at Judy when her back is turned in the café.
“I’ll show you that I mean it,” he says again, “I’ll be here for you. I’ll support you the way that you’ve supported us. I’ll love-”
He can’t get to the end of that sentence, because you wrench your free arm around his neck and pull him down to kiss you. He startles, lets go of your hand, and you freeze, thinking you’ve miscalculated the situation and gone too far. But he recovers quickly, wrapping both arms around your waist. He adjusts you so that you’re flush against him, and kisses back, harder.
His plush lips are wine-sour and soft, and he molds them against yours like he’s starving for it.
“My place,” he says, pulling back just the slightest bit so he can speak, “My place.”
“But-”
“Min is at Judy’s for the night,” he says, “Please.”
You want to. You want to so badly that your head is spinning, that your heart is beating out a rhythm against your ribcage. He’s here in front of you, wrapped up in you, so handsome and so unattainable…
Well. You think that Hyunjin is making a mistake. But if he’s gonna make it, you’re gonna enjoy every minute of it.
“Okay,” you breathe.
“Okay, or yes?” Hyunjin says, “I need a real yes.”
You hesitate. You decide. You say it.
“Yes.”
Just like that, he’s pulling you down the road to his car and opening the passenger’s side door for you. His place is across the city from here, so you settle in for what’s sure to be the most impatient car ride of your life. Anticipation drags out the minutes, as the energy between you grows so tense that you’re sure one of you is going to snap and start things up before you even get there.
But you’re spilling out onto the sidewalk in front of his building before you know it, Hyunjin’s hand on the small of your back, guiding you.
You’ve been to his place before, to meet him outside for dates, but you’ve never gone inside before. It’s a regular villa building, boxy and painted a demure white, and he leads you up the metal stairs to the third floor.
“I’m not trying to pressure you into anything,” Hyunjin says uncertainly, as he unlocks the door.
“I know,” you say, “I wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t want…well…”
Hyunjin grins his understanding, and you follow him into the apartment, taking his lead as he kicks off his shoes. You peek around when he flips on the lights.
His home looks about the way you’d expect: modest-sized and full of plain, sturdy furniture that looks like it could take a few hits. The décor is understated, intending to be an atmosphere of minimalist modernism, except that a girly, demanding preschooler definitely lives here. Drawings cover the fridge, the corkboard on the wall, the dining table with its one normal chair and one pink booster seat. Toys, hair accessories, and art supplies sit on shelves, in baskets, on end tables.
“It’s cute,” you say.
“Hm?”
Hyunjin pops his head out of the kitchen, now sans blazer, where he’s switching on more lights. He obviously has a just-gotten-home routine, and he’s not about to abandon it just because you’re here.
“This place. It’s cute,” you repeat. “It suits you.”
“It’s small,” he says with a shrug, tossing his blazer onto the back of the couch, “But we each have a bedroom and that’s really all that I can ask for. You ever shared a bedroom with a toddler? Not cool.”
“I’d like to see your room,” you tease, cringing at yourself instantly for making the dumbest of the dumb jokes.
But Hyunjin’s expression is just dangerously joyful, like he’s really taking it to heart.
“I’ll give you the grand tour,” he says.
“Sounds like you’re plotting.”
“I did tell you that I would prove it to you,” he says, drawing in close to you again, “How much I care about you.”
“The only way you know how to do that is with sex?” you ask playfully, “That’s sad. Maybe expand your vocabulary, first.”
He looks down at you, amused and just slightly frustrated. “Why can’t you make this easy for me?”
“Nothing with me is easy,” you say, “You should get used to that.”
“I dunno. You’re kind of easy to love.”
There he goes again, with that word. You can feel your cheeks burning, unable to process such casual affection from someone you like so much.
“Can I kiss you?” you ask.
“As much as you want,” he promises.
You slot yourself comfortably into his arms and lean up to kiss him. He’s got such ridiculous plush lips, soft and sliding against yours, and he holds you like you’re something precious. It’s an overwhelming amount of attention, but you let yourself bask in it.
“C’mon,” he says, “I’ll give you that tour.”
He winks, and then he releases you, walking across the small living space toward the doors on the far wall. Following him is second nature, at this point, and you pad after him.
“This is Min’s room,” he tells you.
He cracks the door on the right, so that you can see a peek of the pink explosion on the other side.
“She picked all her own décor,” he says.
“I’m starting to think that pink is just your favorite color, and you’re using the kid as an excuse,” you say.
“You’ll never get me to admit it,” he grins.
He opens the door on the left, and this room is soft woods and earth tones. Definitely an adult’s room, almost stark in its lack of personal effects. It’s dark except for city lights filtering between the open curtains, casting the room into a seductive kind of shadow. You follow him into the room, grinning to yourself.
“Bed looks comfy,” you say.
Hyunjin sits down on the edge of the bed, strong thighs in dress pants drawing your eye shamefully quickly, and fixes you with a look.
“Come find out,” he offers.
You can’t keep being so self-conscious about this. It’s Hyunjin, it’s only Hyunjin, your friend. One of your dearest friends. With his supermodel face, and his long blonde hair falling out of its ponytail in wisps around his cheekbones, and the outline of his cock against his thigh-
Fuck.
Something in you snaps. You climb into his lap, settling yours knees on either side of his hips, winding your arms around his neck to pull his mouth back against yours. He laughs into the kiss, his hands landing on your hips and pulling you down harder into him.
“See?” he says, voice low, “It’s not so hard to open up to me, is it?”
“I think you’re making a mistake,” you mutter.
“You’re so mean to yourself,” Hyunjin chides.
You cock an eyebrow at him. “I can be mean to you instead.”
He just laughs again, grinding his hips up into you briefly. You can feel him getting hard beneath you, distinct even through the layers of clothes that separate the two of you.
“Can this come off?” he asks, plucking at the collar of your nice silky blouse.
“Yeah.”
His answering smile is dark and satisfied, conniving in a way that makes your pulse jump. Hyunjin is so calm and sweet most of the time, cheerful in a way that suggests naivety. You almost worry about him, sometimes, worry that to other he’ll come across as just pretty and dim. Why are you getting the feeling that you’ve stumbled across a very different part of him, tonight?
“D’you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” he asks, against your collarbone, as he unbuttons your blouse down your chest, down your stomach.
“How long?”
“Too long. Way too long.
He’s pushing your shirt off your shoulders before you know it, reaching around to unhook your bra. His hands are firm and certain, the stumbling hesitation that he’d shown while asking you out nowhere to be found. Here, apparently, he’s absolutely comfortable.
Your shirt and bra are discarded carelessly, and you’re surprised that you feel no shyness at all when Hyunjin cups your breasts in his hands and thumbs over your nipples.
“Knew you’d be pretty,” he says.
“Shut up,” you mumble.
He gives you another one of those feline grins.
“Watch it,” he warns.
Hyunjin hooks one arm around your back and flips the two of you over so that he’s on top, all but dragging you up to the middle of the bed. You’re sprawled on your back under him now, bouncing gently on the mattress with the force that he’d used to move you.
“You’re even prettier like this,” he smirks, “I like the slacks, by the way, very professional. I didn’t tell you that earlier.”
“Thanks,” you reply, breathing heavy, unsure how to handle this new Hyunjin and his blinding confidence.
“Can those come off, too?”
“What about your clothes?” you whine.
“We’ll get to that,” he promises.
He only needs one hand to unbutton, unzip, and tug your slacks down to your knees in one fluid motion, and he move aside so you can kick them off all the way.
“These are so you,” Hyunjin says.
You’re confused, until you look down yourself to see the panties you’d put on that morning: light blue with a pattern of tiny white running llamas. They’re not all that sexy, but they’re comfy, and it’s not like you’d explicitly planned on anyone seeing them, date or no date.
“I wasn’t expecting to get fucked tonight,” you say bluntly, “Give me a break.”
“Should have at least hoped for it,” he grins.
“I try to keep my expectations realistic.”
“You need to give yourself more credit,” Hyunjin says.
To punctuate it, he leans down over you fully, caging you in, and kisses you breathless again. He trails his mouth and hands down your front lazily, scraping his teeth against your hipbone where it peeks from the waistband of your underwear. He lets one long finger trace over your panties, across your covered pussy, and you can’t help how you twitch.
“Bet you’re fuckin’ delicious, too. Am I gonna get to taste?” he asks.
“Jesus Christ,” you groan.
The mouth on him…you’ve never had someone talk to you like this before, so tender and affectionate but also so obscene. It sends arousal pealing through you, the idea that he can be so into this, into you.
“Use your words,” he says, “Come on, can I taste you?”
“Yes,” you say, “God, Hyunjin…”
“Oh, I like how my name sounds, like that, listen to you,” he purrs.
He hooks his fingers into your waistband and pulls your panties off smoothly. Those are abandoned over the edge of the bed, too, and Hyunjin has his face between your legs seemingly as fast as he can.
“Tell me if anything doesn’t feel good,” he says, warm breath fanning over your inner thighs.
“I will,” you say, “Don’t worry.”
“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” he mutters, and he licks into you indulgently.
He’s got one hand bracing himself against your leg, one hand holding your folds open for him so he can dip his tongue into your opening, drag it slow across your clit.
“Fuck,” he says, and you swear you can feel the word against you, “Can’t wait to feel this sweet pussy around my dick.”
You moan. You can’t help it, can’t help the way you’re leaking your arousal against his tongue, the way his words and his gorgeous mouth are working you over. He pulls away from your core much too quickly, and he smiles when you whine.
“Just a taste, I said,” he placates.
He sits back on his heels between your legs to strip off his own clothes, but you haul yourself up to meet him.
“Let me do it,” you say.
“Be my guest.”
So it’s your turn to undo his buttons and give yourself an unencumbered look at his body for the first time. He’s slim, working muscle like a dancer, gorgeous skin under your hands. You kind of want to take your time, leave marks all over him and get to know every inch. But it does seem like he has an agenda tonight, as he impatiently shrugs off his shirt and undoes his own belt.
He rids himself of his pants and underwear quickly, and you really should have expected him to have a cock like THAT. He’s tall, and pretty, and of course, this part of him matches perfectly, long and thick and beautifully flushed.
“I’m clean,” you find yourself saying, “And on birth control, so if you want…we can…”
Hyunjin grins at you. “You just want me to fuck you raw.”
“I do,” you agree, “Fuck, I do.”
“I’m clean, too,” he tells you.
He nudges your legs apart to make room for him as he crawls back up your body, giving you a gentle playful shove so that you lay flat on your back for him again.
“Is that what you want? Want me to fill you up, just like this?”
He’s looming over you, propping himself up with his hands planted on either side of your head. You can feel the tip of his cock nudging between your folds.
“That’s what I want,” you agree desperately. “Please.”
You don’t know why you’re begging him like this. Are you that easy to break?
But you can’t bring yourself to care how ridiculous you sound, because Hyunjin rocks his hips forward to dip the head of his cock into you, and you keen.
“What do you want?” he asks, with a knowing smirk.
“You know exactly what!”
“I can’t give you anything unless you tell me,” he says.
“I want,” you struggle, “I want you to fill me up. Please.”
“That’s a good girl,” he praises gently.
He rewards you with another thrust, a little deeper, sending a fantastic thrill through your body but still nowhere near enough. He works himself into you slowly, just a bit at a time, pulling completely out in between just to be able to sink all the way back in.
After what seems like an eternity, he slides in completely, hips flush against yours. You squirm, needing him to do SOMETHING, after taking his sweet time to get to this point, but Hyunjin seems content to just sit like this for a moment.
“I was right,” he tells you, “Feels fuckin’ heavenly.”
“Move, please,” you beg.
“Be patient. Maybe I just want you to cockwarm me for the rest of the night,” he teases.
“I would go home,” you say.
He laughs. “Okay, okay, you got me, that’s not what I want.”
So slowly that you know he’s doing it on purpose to torture you, Hyunjin draws back and fucks into you, hard and deep. It coaxes a punched-out moan from your throat, already so strung out though you’ve just begun.
He’s stronger than you would have imagined, driving into you with those narrow dancer’s hips and leaning down to press kisses to your cheeks, your mouth, the sides of your throat. His hands roam like he wants to be touching all of you at once: kneading into your breast, smoothing back your hair, bending your legs up farther so he can fuck you deeper, better.
“Look how well you take me,” he says.
You do look. You crane your neck up to look down the narrow space between you, as Hyunjin props up his body above you, and you can just barely see his thick cock working into you, disappearing with an obscene squelch that leaves no question about how much you’re enjoying yourself.
“So messy,” he teases.
“’m not messy,” you mumble, feeling sex-stupid but indignant.
“No?” he grins, “Not dripping wet for me?”
You want to argue, but he’s right; you can feel exactly how wet you are for him. You can’t remember the last time someone had you so desperate, so ready and eager to take what you’re given. Hyunjin falls forward to let your bodies press together, covering you and pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear.
“Sweet girl,” Hyunjin murmurs, voice soft and fond and dangerous, “So good for me. So good with my kid. We could give her a sibling, you know.”
It sounds like something that just slipped out, the way that it’s so honest and the way that Hyunjin nearly gasps at himself. But your mind has gone one hundred percent completely blank. You let out a moan that’s mostly silent, as you let the implication of that wash over you.
You didn’t think you had a thing for, well…this.
But Hyunjin, looking at you like this, talking like this, honest and filthy, right in your ear. You know that it’s just dirty talk, that he doesn’t mean it, not right this instant. You both know that you’re on birth control. But the game of it, the idea of it…
“Yes,” you gasp, “Oh my God-”
“Oh, you REALLY like that,” he purrs, “I can feel you squeezing around me.”
“Hyunjin!” you moan.
“Is that what you want, baby? You just wanna be filled up with my cum, is that it?”
You can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, and you doubly can’t believe how much you fucking love them, how you’re nodding and clawing your fingernails down his back at the picture he’s painting for you.
“Please,” you gasp, “I want – I want-”
Hyunjin draws up so that he can look into your eyes. “Baby wants me to give her a baby. Hm.”
Never in your life have you been brought right to the point of cumming just from someone’s words, but that’s exactly what’s happening. You can feel that perfect fuzzy electricity in your toes, building up. If you cum untouched, just from this, you’re gonna have some real soul-searching to do.
He seems to be at a similar place, fucking into you at a breakneck pace, still murmuring at you mindlessly.
“Want to fill up this sweet pussy, put a baby in you…Jesus fucking Christ, so good,” Hyunjin moans.
“Inside,” you agree, “Please – I need you, I just-”
As if he couldn’t be more perfect, Hyunjin slips his hand between you, presumably to bring you over the peak with him. The instant his finger presses against your clit, starts to rub a messy circle in the wetness spreading across your folds and your inner thighs, you cum.
You feel like screaming, but your voice is strangled, constricted with arousal, “Oh-”
“Fuck!” Hyunjin moans, like he’s agreeing with you.
One, two, three, four deep strokes, and Hyunjin bottoms out, pressing into you as he cums. Your hips buck into him on their own accord as he paints your walls with his cum, and you can’t help the newly-awakened corner of your mind that thinks about what could happen, if you weren’t on your birth control, if you did this again…
Goddamn. You really have some journaling to do later, or something.
“So perfect,” Hyunjin mutters, letting his head fall, burying his face in your shoulder, “So fucking perfect, how did I get so lucky?”
You’re the lucky one, you think to yourself. Your brain is simultaneously too full and too empty to say anything coherent, so you just lay there, wrap your limbs around Hyunjin as well as you can. He gets the message, you think, because he snuggles more firmly into you and turns his head to press a kiss to your jaw.
He’s warm, and kind of heavy, but you don’t want him to move, or to pull out of you. Just let this minute last a little longer, you think. Just a little longer, before you have to talk about what all of this means.
---------------
You only know you’ve fallen asleep when you wake up.
There’s a weight on your chest, pressing you into the mattress. For a second you think you have sleep paralysis, until you get a face-full of blonde hair and realize that it’s just Hyunjin, fast asleep on top of you.
“Get up,” you say, pushing on him gently, “And, ew, let me clean up.”
You can feel his cum drying on the inside of your thighs, where it trickled out around his softened cock while you slept. It’s kind of nasty, but the memory of all the hazy lust-filled things you said to each other makes you not mind so much.
Hyunjin yawns audibly, right next to your head, and then he peels himself off you.
“Sorry,” he grins. “Are your arms asleep?”
“No. Doesn’t your neck hurt from laying like that?”
He presses a smacking kiss to your forehead. “No. You’re a good pillow.”
Hyunjin pulls out of you and climbs gingerly off the bed. You squint around the room until your eyes find a glowing digital clock on his bedside; it’s only just past midnight.
“Shower and then sleep?” Hyunjin offers.
“Sounds good.”
He helps you to your feet, laughing as your knees threaten to buckle despite the cooldown period you’ve had.
“I hope I didn’t cross any lines,” he says tentatively, “I took a risk with all that baby talk and-”
“I liked it,” you admit, shy.
“Really?”
You nod. “I mean, we shouldn’t do anything stupid. Not right now. But just to play with, in the bedroom…”
Grinning, you fan yourself dramatically with your hand, like you’re a proper lady being overwhelmed with the saucy behavior of your male paramour.
Hyunjin laughs again. “Good to know.”
He shows you across the hall to the bathroom, men’s hair and skin and shaving products lined up next to rainbow-packaged kiddie shampoo and a small bin full of bath toys. As the shower is warming up, steam and the sound of rushing water filling the bathroom, he nudges you with his elbow.
“I knew all along that you were just into me because I have a kid,” he says.
You consider it, as you pull back the shower curtain and test the water. It’s warm, so you draw the curtain fully back and step under the spray. Peeking out at him, water starting to run down your back and warm your skin the way that Hyunjin’s presence warms you on the inside, you smile.
“Guess you’re just a DILF.” 
💕💕💕💕
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cupofteaguk · 4 years
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on the road (to you)
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summary: as a young adult, one of the strangest revelations is the discovery that peers of yours from past fragile college years are getting married. so imagine your shock and excitement upon receiving a wedding invitation. there are, however, two problems: (1) you are a poor early-20s recently employed adult just beginning to adjust to your 401k plan, and (2) the only available ride to the wedding comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook—friend of a friend, attendee to that aforementioned wedding, and your old college crush. 
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
genre: roadtrip au, strangers to lovers au | fluff/angst 
warnings: recreational alcoholic consumption, definitely not an accurate representation of how a road trip might actually be, mentions of anxiety + insecurities, very minor book reference to: The Night Circus, equally minor movie references to: Mission Impossible and The Princess Bride because I have a problem, light makeout sessions, talks of DTR (define the relationship), some angst but this is me so there’s a happy ending. 
word count: 27k 
a/n: a birthday present for the one and only Jeon Jungkook, whom I love and respect so much and only wish the bestest of days for. Partly inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “invisible string” +  a love letter of sorts to my own old high school crush for whom my memory of him helped build Jungkook’s character. This also turned out way longer than I ever wanted it to be lol oops! 
update: i was actually able to do a writer’s audio tag on this fic!!! check it out if you want to hear about the behind the scenes process that went into writing this fic <3 
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When you land a job in the months following your college graduation, you feel as if you are on top of the world. How could you not? After all, the norm that follows post-college is one of disappointment and constant hunts online to find job openings for any position that could suit your background and previous work experiences. It’s a fear that plagues lots of your friends, both those in college and out. It’s the same paranoia you had in the months leading up to graduation and the few months after graduation—in which your days were measured by the boxes you packed to move out of your tiny college apartment and into an equally tiny new apartment you currently share with an old roommate of yours, as well as the days you spent hunched over your computer and scrolling through job postings. 
You had gone through more than a handful of cover letters, resume submissions, and in person interviews before finally landing the job you currently have and have been working under for a month now. 
Throughout the course of the recent month, you’ve continued to secure certain moments that solidify the confidence that you’re finally becoming an adult. Sure, a barely functioning adult who mostly still uses the microwave to heat up your frozen Mac and Cheese—but an adult nonetheless. From learning how to pay your bills online, to realizing that grocery shopping was something you needed to make a conscious effort to do, along with going to and from your nine to five job with your coffee order in hand. 
All of those things have helped you feel like you were, perhaps, finally getting your life together. 
And then you receive the invitation in the mailbox. 
It happens when you unlock your box on a bright March morning, taking out the usual round of bills and fashion magazines until your fingers lock around an envelope bigger than the normal letter size. It’s much sturdier too. 
You don’t know what to think of the letter, until you bring the damn thing back into your apartment and rip the opening. The mere sight of the content inside makes you feel like the hand of life has just taken your figurine and moved you back a good twenty squares. 
The post in your hand reads: 
WITH GREAT JOY, IRENE AND SEOKJIN REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE FOR THEIR WEDDING CELEBRATION ON THE DAY OF MAY 25TH. COCKTAILS, DINNER, AND DANCING TO FOLLOW. 
There’s a date at the bottom of the invitation. As you line the date up with your calendar, you realize that you have a week to RSVP to the event. 
You toss the envelope onto the counter in the kitchen just to glare at the cardstock, maybe to convince yourself this is a dream or at least convince yourself that it’s normal for your friend from college to be getting married even when you have yet to land a successful relationship of your own. 
You aren’t as close with Irene as you used to be, but the memory of your friendship is still at the forefront of your mind. The pair of you met during your final year of university, when you were assigned to work together for one of your many senior projects and immediately clicked. The months you spent in her apartment and vice versa pulling out all-nighters in desperate attempts to finish your project definitely earns you an invitation. At the very least, you are happy to see that Irene: bright and smart and funny, is getting married. 
Not only that, but getting married to Seokjin. He’s a year older than you and Irene, but those two met when he was still enrolled and have been inseparable ever since. You don’t know relationships that well, but you know them enough to recognize that Seokjin and Irene were what everyone called the ‘endgame’. In truth, it was only a matter of time before you were to receive one of these from them. 
But did she really have to one-up you like this? Not that it’s a competition. However, it does leave a funny feeling to see someone the same age as you display a much more put together handle on life. You groan at the thought.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Karly asks. 
You turn to your roommate. She’s seated at the kitchen table, books out and everywhere as she looks over at you. Karly: fellow alumni, graduated from her undergrad program early to go straight into pursuing her master’s degree. She’s a busy bee. You wave the envelope. “Irene is getting married.” 
Her eyes widen. “Ah shit, no way?” She takes the paper that you offer to her and looks over the invitation. “Damn, I knew it was only a matter of time before we started getting this stuff, but to actually see it happening…” 
You groan. “I know right!” You take the cardstock back from your friend. “It’s only been six months since we graduated, how could she be getting married already?” 
“Well, Irene did have a job lined up for her right after graduation,” Karly points out thoughtfully. She sees the look of bewilderment you give her. “What? It was on her Instagram.” 
You pout. “Of course Irene would have a job lined up like that.” You run a hand through your hair. “I mean, that’s good for her. Really good, actually…” 
Karly jerks her chin towards the envelope still in your hand. “So, are you planning to go?” 
“I don’t know, do you have plans that day?” You wave the paper. “I’m allowed a plus one.” 
Your roommate cracks a smile. “Are you asking me out? A little forward of you, we’ve been friends for so long…” 
You whine, shaking the paper and little more frantically. “Karly, this is important! I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone!” 
She laughs. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. What was the date again?” 
You provide the date to her. You approach Karly’s place at the kitchen table and watch as she opens the calendar on her laptop. Immediately, you are overwhelmed by all the deadlines she’s got under practicality every date on the screen. Yet, a “wow” is the only thing you can say at the sight. 
Karly smiles, sparing you a glance over her shoulder. “One of the joys of being a grad student slash T.A. slash research assistant.” She scrolls down into May, and narrows her eyes upon May 25th. Underneath the date is an event—color coated to bright orange and typed out in all caps. CONFERENCE WITH PROFESSOR WONG. “Oh crap, I have a conference that day.” 
“No…” You whine some more, trailing off as you grab Karly by the shoulders and begin shaking. “Karly! You’ve left me out for the bears! What am I supposed to do?” 
Karly laughs as she lets herself be manhandled in this way. “I don’t know! Go and deepen your social life or something.” 
You stop shaking her and glare instead. “Is that a joke?” 
“What do you expect me to say?” She retorts, appalled by your answer. “Then don’t go.” 
You whine again. “But this is Irene, and I’ll feel bad for not going and congratulating her!” 
“Then go!” 
“But I don’t have a plus one!” 
Karly places her hands at her temples. “Oh my god, this is like the circle of stupidity with you. Then find a plus one! Or just don’t go!” She whirls around to face you. “I will help you find a dress if you decide to go. I will also sit with you on the couch and eat popcorn with you if you decide not to go.” 
You continue to pout, knowing that you deserve that gentle attempt at a lecture but still not liking the reason why you needed such a talking to. 
“Fine,” You eventually decide to say, sliding into the seat next to Karly and leaning forward to plant your entire upper body on the table. 
Karly laughs at your defeated posture. “Well, you have the rest of the week to make your decision.” 
She has a point. That doesn’t mean you have to like it. 
.
For the rest of the week the decision of whether or not you should attend the wedding becomes a weight in your mind. You spend the next few days pondering it, thinking over the pros and the cons. 
As overdramatic as it is, you think about it during work, when you’re partaking in your home workout routines, and even when you’re about to fall asleep. You do want to go, you really do. It’ll be the first time you attend a wedding that didn’t involve a relative, which feels like a big deal in your adult agenda mindset. And Irene is someone you wouldn’t mind spending an evening with to catch up. 
However, you wouldn’t get to spend the evening with Irene—after all, a wedding implies that she would likely be mingling with all of her guests and you would just be another attendee forced to find other means of entertainment. That’s where the plus one comes in handy. Except you don’t have a plus one. A slight problem. 
You sigh. Work is a little slow today, as you are also experiencing the afternoon slump in which your mind drifts away more often than usual. You find yourself with a small laundry list of tasks (such as emailing companies, working on drafts for releases, and trying to set up different appointments) but without the motivation to do those things right away. Because of that, your afternoon slump takes the form of opening airline services to find information and prices about flying to Irene’s wedding. It’s in her hometown, about a five hour flight time from here to there. 
You click on the various boxes that require information, finally allowing a search. As the search goes through, your eyes take in all the prices—both the amount to get there and to get back—and your lips part slightly at the totaling numbers. 
“Five hundred dollars?” You mutter to yourself. You’re not sure how this would work with budgeting, but you’re still trying to figure out how to balance the cost of AC, the internet, and how to eat appropriate meals at least once a day. You don’t have five hundred dollars to spend on an airplane ticket. A slightly bigger problem. 
You sigh again, resting your elbow on the desk and your chin in the palm as your eyes continue to scroll through the website. 
Behind you, fingers curl around the top of your cubicle. There is a silence between the two of you: him, merely observing, and you, completely oblivious, until he clears his throat. 
You jump, having not expected to be interrupted like this. A squeak leaves the back of your throat as you whirl around to see who is visiting you. “Jimin!” You exclaim, taking in the boy now perched along the wall of your cubicle. This is before you narrow your eyes. “Asshole, you scared me!” 
If you just started working here and learned that you’d be cursing out Park Jimin for startling you, that past version of yourself might have turned red, shocked, and nervous at the thought. A month ago, Jimin was that coworker—as friendly as friendly people come by. With his pretty eyes, perfectly soft pink lips, and freshly dyed brown hair, you had been immediately taken by his charm and helpful nature. 
Then the month went by, and you realized there were no romantic intentions on either end. Jimin then became your first friend in your new job. Albeit, he’s a nosy friend who enjoys asking questions and dragging you out to nearby bars and coming over occasionally with take-out, but a friend nonetheless. 
“Sorry!” Jimin says back, then he glares at you. “What are you doing over here anyways?” 
You shake your head. “What do you mean?” 
“What do you mean what do I mean? You’ve been sighing all afternoon.” Jimin pulls out a slip of paper from behind his back. “Fifty times in the last hour, I swear to god.” 
You straighten out of your seat to get a better look at the paper, unamused to find fifty tally marks across the surface. “You’re lying, there’s no way that I sighed fifty times in an hour.” 
“Of course you wouldn’t know, you’re the one doing all the sighing!” Jimin retorts, lowering his hand with the paper. “Is something up with you? Did something happen?” His eyes flicker to the monitor screen behind you and he frowns. “What the fuck? Are you moving away already?” 
You blink. “What?” 
He jerks his chin towards the computer. “You’re looking at flight prices.” 
“Huh?” You turn around, having completely forgotten about your previous predicament in light of discovering that Jimin counts your sighs. “Oh! No…” 
Jimin raises an eyebrow. “No, you’re not looking at flight prices?” 
You slide back into your chair, a silent invitation for Jimin to step further into your cubicle. You sigh again, and he holds the paper back up. Taking a pencil out of his pocket, he makes another mark. You look over at him upon hearing the pencil scratch and scowl. “Give me that!” You grab the paper from his hand. “I’m dealing with a crisis right now, don’t count my sighs!”
“Alright! Alright!” Jimin slides behind you and leans forward to get a better look at your computer screen. “So where are you moving to this time?” 
You press your lips together. “I’m not moving away. A friend of mine from college is getting married. I’m just trying to see how expensive it would be to fly over there.” 
He whistles at the five hundred dollar price in your cart. “That’s pretty expensive.” 
“I know!” You groan, throwing yourself further back into your chair. “I wouldn’t mind going, but I don’t have a plus one. And as you can see, flying there would be a challenge on my wallet.” 
Jimin hums at that. “Well, regarding your plus one problem, I wouldn’t mind going with you.” 
You turn to look at him. “Really? You’d go across the country and endure an entire evening with your coworker and her old college classmates?” 
He shrugs. “If you’re desperate, I’ll keep my offer around.” He actually pouts this time. “Are you implying that you see me more as a coworker than a friend? After all the times we’ve hung out outside of work!” 
Your eyes widen slightly, having not thought of that. “No, no, Jimin, I mean—yes, I do see you as a friend now but we met as coworkers so I just think of you as a coworker first—!” You’re rambling. 
Jimin interrupts by patting your shoulder, the corner of his lips quirked up into a smile. “I’m just messing with you.” 
You shake your head again. “Asshole,” You grumble, returning your attention back to your computer. 
Jimin is still mid-laughter behind you. “Anyways, yeah, like I said. If you’re desperate to go, I wouldn’t mind going with you. But deciding how to get there is a different question entirely.” 
You turn to glare at your friend for a moment. “I’ll let you know.” 
He nods, before his lips part and he’s snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah! I wanted to ask you something.” 
He backs up, allowing you enough space to turn around fully and face him. “Okay, what’s up?” 
Jimin grins, lifting his leg up to nudge your chair slightly. “I’m going out tonight—you should come with.” 
You don’t even give this a second thought. Your lips turn into a downwards curl as you shake your head. “Nope.” 
Jimin looks appalled. “Why not? Didn’t you have fun the last time we went out?” 
“If ‘fun’ to you is trying to drag your drunk ass home and staying the night to make sure you wouldn’t choke on your vomit…” You grumble, trying not to shudder at the memory. It has only been a few days since that ‘fun’ time. 
“I told you that sometimes I overestimate my abilities, and I already apologized for that,” Jimin points out, although he does have the decency to look guilty for that mess. He perks up again. “But this’ll be different, I promise. I’m meeting up with some friends and we’re just gonna catch up. It’s at one of the quieter bars uptown: no loud DJ, no bright lights, no bottomless rum and coke. Promise. It’ll just be a lot of socializing.” He watches you hesitantly. Socializing has never been your strong suit. “And finger food.” 
The mention of food does make you look up towards him—your first sign of interest towards something. However, another thought weighs you down. “Are you sure you even want me to go?” You ask after a moment. “I mean, this is a catch up with friends. Wouldn’t I be intruding?” 
“Not at all!” Jimin brushes off, waving away your concern with his hand. “I told you, it’s a socializing thing. Besides, my friends are always bringing someone along. They were asking me when I’d have a friend tag along, so I thought you’d be a good selection.” He notices you still frowning. “C’mon! It’ll be fun. When I’m not vomiting over your shoes, I’m good company. And I promise I won’t be vomiting this time.” 
You stare at Jimin for a moment longer, contemplating his words. This is very true. Jimin is an ideal friend to have during social gatherings—he’s good at keeping a conversation going so you don’t have to shoulder the weight alone, he’s good at reading when you’re in a good mood and when you’re ready to go home, and he’s excellent at keeping unwanted attention away. You know this. Jimin knows that you know this. 
It takes one curl of your lips for Jimin to grin, knowing that he has convinced you. “Okay!” He says, finalizing the decision without having to hear the actual answer from you. He pats your knee. “We’ll take the subway after work, it’s just a few stops down.” 
If your mind conjures up any second thoughts, Jimin leaves before you are able to express them. 
.
True to Jimin’s word, the pair of you step into a subway heading westbound as soon as you’re finished with work. It’s much later in the day now, the afternoon sun has changed into a night sky with a chill spring breeze to match. The carts are filled with the evening crowd of adults, all done with another day of work and finding enjoyment for the rest of today by returning home or seeing friends. It’s a rarity that you would fall under that latter category, but the thought makes you excited nonetheless. 
“Alright, so you wanna tell me a little bit about these friends that I’m seeing tonight?” You ask, gripping the handlebar above you but leaning towards Jimin so he can hear what you’re saying over the noise of the subway speeding down the tracks. 
Jimin grins. “They’re just some friends I grew up with. We like to get together once a month to catch up and hang out, since everyone is so busy with their own lives.” 
You smile back. “That’s actually really sweet of you guys, to plan hangouts once a month.” 
He lightly flicks your forehead. “Hey, are you saying I’m normally not very sweet?” 
“Well, not right now!” You protest, hand over your forehead. “That hurt.” 
“You’re being a baby!” Jimin retorts back. 
The pair of you continue to bicker like this until your stop is announced over the intercom. Jimin halts the further insults being thrown at each other as he gestures towards the approaching station, as seen through the window of the subway. 
“This is our stop,” Jimin says to you, allowing you to step out onto the platform first. He joins behind you right after, leading the way as the subway’s three chimes signal the closing of the doors. There’s a breeze that follows, running through your hair and clothes as the subway zooms away to its next stop. The station itself is crowded, filled with groups of friends and individuals carrying on with the rest of their evening, overall looking so lively and you can feel yourself feeding off their energy. 
With a gesture pointing up the stairs that’ll take the pair of you to ground level, Jimin leads the way. You make your way through people, following Jimin’s guide until you’re both exiting the station and entering the world of your new stop. It’s another area of the city you work in, so the change in scenery isn’t too dramatic—but it’s a place more catered towards restaurants, shopping areas, and hang-out sections. The bright neon signs protrude out from the building, flashing the various products or services the specific building offered: from manicure care to corner ramen shops. 
“C’mon, let’s hurry!” Jimin calls back to you, picking his pace up slightly. He’s not running, but his long legs make it harder for you to keep up. “Everyone is already there.” 
The pair of you continue to pace down the sidewalk, past the crowds of people waiting to eat, people lingering outside of clothing stores. Finally, Jimin slows down near a restaurant. He looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re still behind him, before entering the establishment. He mentions something about knowing where their seats are, before continuing deeper into the restaurant. 
As you look around, the place does look like a restaurant slash bar—not as crazy as some of the bars Jimin takes you with the intention of actually getting drunk, but there’s still a bar here and there’s still alcohol being shared heavily. It’s the same demographic of early 20s, young adults with friends, but there are actual tables and chairs and booths set up like a restaurant. So you suppose Jimin hadn’t been lying to you about this. 
“There they are!” Jimin says to you, as you look up and follow Jimin’s finger to the table in the far corner that is completely filled with the exception of two seats. You vaguely make out the back of some heads, most belonging to boys, before your eyes land on one of the boys facing you and Jimin. He’s sitting at the far end of the table, currently laughing brightly at something one of the boys at the table has said. For all intents and purposes, the boy is cute. Extremely cute. When he laughs, his eyes and nose crinkle and his lips spread into a wild smile—and brings out the dimple on his cheek. He looks like the embodiment of all your ideal types mashed into a singular being. 
All of those things. Yet, that is not the reason why you are staring. None of those things come close to why you stop dead in your tracks, why your heart drops in your chest, why your eyes widen. Even with the shitty lighting in this restaurant, you are one hundred percent positive. “Jimin!” You manage to choke out, having enough well power to grab onto his hand seconds before he is able to make himself and yourself known to his friends. 
He whirls around, wide-eyed and curious and worried. “What? Is everything okay?” 
You shake your head. The room feels too small. “I think there’s something I should tell you—!” 
“Hey, is that Jimin? Jimin!” Your voice is very easily drowned out by the sound of another, much louder voice that seems to boom through the restaurant. 
Jimin turns back around in time to face one of the boys from the table who has gotten out of his seat. You are able to see him from over Jimin’s shoulder—a tall boy with messy unkempt hair and a boxy smile. Jimin greets him with a “Taehyung!” before the boys embrace. “Taehyungie,” Jimin continues afterwards, turning around so both are able to face you. “This is Y/N, she’s a coworker of mine.” 
Taehyung grins, a friendly gesture that makes you relax. But only slightly. “Y/N! It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a bit about you from Jimin. All good things, I promise.” 
“W-Well, that’s good to hear,” You manage shakily, eyes nervously darting to the boy at the end of the table, who has stopped his conversation and is now looking at you and Jimin. 
“Let me introduce you,” Jimin says, breaking your concentration as he rests a hand on your shoulder. He points right at the boy at the end of the table, who is still staring at you. His eyebrows are furrowed together. You want to bury yourself alive. “That one over there is—!” 
A lightbulb seems to go off in the boy’s head. His face breaks out into a smile as he points at you. “Hey, Y/N!” 
Jimin looks taken aback at the fact you are being recognized by someone at the table. His hand lowers as he looks over at you. 
You, however, cannot focus on Jimin. You can only focus on the boy at the end of the table, the boy currently smiling over at you with all the light in his eyes, the boy who makes the memories flash through your mind. From that, the best you can manage is a tiny smile. “Jungkook!” 
Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Where do you even begin with him? 
You met Jungkook during your second year of university. He had been an arts major (you were not) and yet, your paths crossed multiple times throughout the quarter as a result of sharing many general education classes together. You even were forced to pair up on a project for one of those aforementioned G.E. classes. Neither of you ran in the same social circle, but that didn’t change how sweet, funny, charming, endearing, easy-going, friendly, smart, and nice Jungkook was. It was very easy for him to make friends, very easy for him to go out of his way to say hi to you in the library or in class or in the cafeteria, and very easy for him to strike up a basic conversation with you. 
Because of that, it was very easy for you to fall for him—to develop a deep-rooted crush that went on for the rest of your university experience. You would use the term ‘friends’ very loosely when describing what your relationship with Jungkook had been. You had never hung out with him outside the context of school, never went out to eat with him, and never saw him again after graduation. Until now. 
Actually, ‘acquaintances’ would probably be a much more fitting term. 
“Hey, I haven’t seen you since graduation!” Jungkook is saying as he stands up from his chair and approaches you. As if on autopilot, you return the one armed hug he gives you. His smile, while still pleasant, holds a surprising tinge of shyness to it. 
“Woah, hold on a second,” Jimin interrupts, immediately pointing between Jungkook and you. “You guys know each other?” 
“Y/N and I went to university together!” Jungkook provides. 
Jimin looks like his eyes are about to fall out of his sockets. 
“We’ve known each other since second year,” Jungkook continues. He looks over at you. “I didn’t know you know Jimin.” 
“Uh…” You forget how to speak. You’re too busy looking at Jungkook as if you haven’t seen him for years. In a way, it feels like that. Seeing people from college outside of college after a graduation ceremony is like meeting them again for the first time—most of them develop a more independent look. Some look like their life is seconds from falling apart. Some look much happier without the institutional pressure to secure classes and grades and internships. Sadly for you, Jungkook falls under the latter category. Did he always have that twinkle of starlight in his eyes? 
“Y/N and I work together,” Jimin provides, seeming to realize that you weren’t going to answer Jungkook’s question. “She started working about a month ago.” 
“Oh, that’s cool,” Jungkook replies, still looking at you. It is then he seems to notice that the three of you are standing in the middle of the restaurant. Although you are not distracting any patrons, the workers probably don’t appreciate it. “How about we sit down? We’ll be able to catch up more!” 
Jimin seems to regain control of the situation quicker than you do, because he nods at Jungkook. “Let me introduce her to everyone, then we’ll join you.” You look over to where Jungkook had been sitting and immediately notice the previously empty two chairs right across from him—like fate, or something terrible like that. 
So you watch as Jungkook makes his way back to his seat, and Jimin starts to guide you around the table. He only drops a name. Surprisingly, he doesn’t linger, he merely takes you to the next person. It only takes you a second to figure out why. 
“You didn’t tell me you know Jungkook,” Jimin hisses in between the time it takes to travel in between people. 
“I didn’t know you knew Jungkook!” You hiss back. You smile and nod politely at the person Jimin introduces as Yoongi. “Seriously, you never mentioned him once!” 
Jimin only keeps his frustration for a moment before he’s introducing you to someone named Hoseok, a boy with a bright smile, the one who was making Jungkook laugh earlier. “Okay, fine,” He relents, the pair of you finally move to take your seats. “But what was that earlier?” 
“What was what?” 
“You were just staring at him! What, did you have a huge crush on him or something—?” Jimin accuses, but he stops. Just as the pair of you are about to sit down, Jimin parts his lips in realization. “Oh.” Then, he sends you an absolutely wicked grin. “Oh, okay.” 
Your eyes widen at him, murder in your eyes. “Jimin!” 
“So, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice cuts through your little biting banter with Jimin. 
You whirl around to face Jungkook, eyes completely devoid of murder and voice several pitches higher. “Hi, Jungkook!” 
He smiles, such a wonderful little thing that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “Hi.” 
Jimin ducks his head to hide the fact that he wants nothing more than to burst into fits of laughter. 
“So how have you been?” Jungkook starts up. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. Since you landed a job, you seem to be doing well.” 
“I am!” You manage, only continuing to try and keep a handle on your heart and managing well enough this time. “There were a few months of just scrolling through job postings and writing cover letter after cover letter though.” 
Jungkook laughs, another beautiful gesture that makes you mirror his smile. “I definitely feel that.” 
“Well, what about you? What have you been up to?” You ask. “I think I saw on your Instagram and you were traveling around for a little?” 
His eyes light up at that. “Oh yeah! I don’t know if you remember Kim Mingyu from school?” You do. “Well, he and a friend of his got into some freelancing and had to do some traveling around to work on some filming. He asked me to come along because I actually have some photography experience. So that was a thing I did for a few months.” 
You nod, smiling. “No way! That’s so cool.” 
You do relax after a few conversational exchanges with Jungkook. He’s just as relaxed and mellow, yet friendly and polite as ever, and it’s easy to make conversation with him as it always has been. Eventually, you join in on the larger conversations with the whole table—touching on topics from your university experiences to tales from your new job. A lot of your role, however, falls to listening. Jimin’s friends are rowdy, funny, and out-going. They invite you in like you have been in this group for years—and are able to provide context on older memories they are revisiting. 
Most of your evening, however, is engaging in conversation with Jungkook. Occasionally, Jimin will join in, but he does spend most of his time laughing along to something his other friends are saying. Since you and Jungkook have always been friendly with each other, long conversations aren’t out of the ordinary. You just never considered how well you and Jungkook got along, how easy it would be to transition from topic to topic. 
“I am really glad that Jimin invited you along,” Jungkook explains brightly after the pair of you are done laughing following Jungkook’s tale of another fuck-ups with Kim Mingyu. “Makes you realize how small the world is.” 
“Oh, you should have seen her moping around earlier today,” Jimin interjects, choosing now of all times to insert himself back into your conversation with Jungkook. “She was sighing all afternoon—so maybe we should thank her misery that I decided to invite her along tonight.” 
Jungkook turns to you, a sympathetic look across his face. “Did you have a bad day today?” 
You try for a laugh, waving away Jimin’s words. “Jimin’s just overreacting. Actually, I found out a friend of mine from college is getting married, so I was trying to figure out my plan…” You start, trailing off as you look at Jungkook. “Wait, you didn’t know Irene, did you?” 
“I did.” His eyes widen as his lips part in realization. “Oh my god, you were invited to Irene’s wedding too?” 
“I was!” You exclaim, unsure whether you should be excited or even more nervous at the prospect of potentially seeing Jungkook at the wedding event. “Holy shit, this makes it an even smaller world. How did you know Irene?” 
Jungkook is still mid-giggle at the pure coincidence of everything. “We both knew Mingyu! This is so crazy. Are you planning to go?” 
You shrug. Jimin chooses to interject once more. “That’s what Y/N over here was sighing all afternoon over.” 
You whine as you look at Jimin. “No need to sell me out! Listen, Jungkook.” You turn back to the boy opposite of you, who is still gazing at you. “I’m sure you understand my current predicament.” 
“Sure.” 
“You know how expensive flights can be.” 
“Of course.” 
You fold your arms over each other and rest them on the table. “So, are you planning to go to the wedding?” 
He nods. “Most likely, yeah. I actually knew that the wedding was going to be happening soon, since Mingyu told me about it as soon as Irene got the ring. I ran into the flight problem pretty quickly too, so I decided to just drive to the event.” 
Jimin whistles. “Drive across the country, huh, JK? That must be a four day trip, or something.” 
“It was coming out to be,” Jungkook acknowledges with a nod. “But it’s okay.” He’s grinning, looking excited at the prospect. “I’ve never done a cross country drive before, so it was actually kind of exciting to plan the route. There are a few places I want to stop by and visit. I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Then, Jungkook turns back to you. “If you decide that flying would be too expensive, then you’re more than welcome to come along. It’ll be nice to have some company and not spend four days by myself.” 
Entirely on instinct, you start to laugh. You think he’s joking—how could you not? This is probably one of the longest conversations you’ve ever had with Jungkook. Like you’ve mentioned before, you wouldn’t consider him a friend. Why would he seriously try to invite you on a road trip?  “Yeah, I’m not too sure—I’ve never done a cross country trip before…” 
The conversation shifts pretty quickly as soon as you reply back to Jungkook. Hoseok asks you a question that drags your attention away, simultaneously allowing you to forget about Jungkook’s request. 
The end of the dinner happens soon after, when the bill has been paid and you suspect the long line of people outside waiting for a table are waiting for your party to be done. So venmo exchanges and money debts go around until each member of the table starts standing up one by one to make their move to exit the restaurant. 
You and Jimin are one of the first to leave. Goodbyes are exchanged along with the polite ‘it was nice to meet you’ phrase thrown around. Jungkook is mid-conversation with Yoongi, but he still gives you a quick hug of parting before you and Jimin exit the restaurant. 
The pair of you only make it out a few steps before there is a familiar voice calling your name. “Hey, Y/N! Y/N, wait up!” You stop and turn around, surprised to see Jungkook dashing out of the restaurant. He rests himself for a moment before he’s straightening back up to look at you. 
You try for a smile. “Hey Jungkook, what’s up?” 
He takes in a few more deep breaths to calm himself—either from the dashing he just did or to steel himself for the next question, you don’t know. “It’s about me inviting you to drive up to Irene’s wedding—I just thought I’d let you know it was a serious invitation. Having the company would be nice, and you wouldn’t be a burden to me, seriously. Besides, it’ll be fun to spend some time together.” 
“O-Oh,” You stammer, wringing your hands together. “I’m not too sure… I still have to think about it.” 
“Of course, of course,” Jungkook dismisses good naturedly. “Just thought I’d let you know, so you know that you do have options.” 
Although the offer makes you nervous, you cannot dismiss Jungkook’s thoughtfulness. You give him a more relaxed smile. “I really appreciate that Jungkook, thank you.” 
He smiles at your smile. “No problem! Actually…” He digs around for the wallet in his pocket and produces a little card. “Here’s my business card—my cell phone number is on here so just text or call if you decide to join me. Or,” He presses his lips into a more bashful smile. “You can just text me whenever for whatever reason. I just thought I’d let you know that it was good to see you again.” 
You take the card slowly, unable to look away from Jungkook’s face. He looks so genuine and shy that it doesn’t help your own racing heart. “It was good to see you too, Jungkook…” You return, albeit a little breathlessly. 
He smiles again, dimples pressing in his cheek (and your heart). He turns to Jimin “Oh yeah, nice seeing you too Park.” 
“Hey.” Jimin hits him on the shoulder. “I’m your hyung, you should show me more respect!” 
“My bad, my bad.” Jungkook doesn’t apologize though. His gaze flickers to yours one more time, gaze looking strangely hopeful. “I’ll see you guys around.” He walks backwards a few paces before turning around and returning to the restaurant. Maybe to see his other friends. 
Either way, it doesn’t matter. You are still screaming internally regardless—as shown through your red cheeks, widened eyes, and singing heart. Jimin will certainly never let you live this moment down. 
Now, you are screaming externally. You don’t even give a thought or an explanation. You simply walk into your apartment, nosedive for the couch, and start yelling into one of the throw pillows. 
There’s a rapid movement of footsteps coming from down the hallway almost immediately, one that grows gradually louder until the owner of the steps starts speaking. “Who the fuck is out there? I’ve played softball my entire life and therefore will not hesitate to drive this bat so far up your ass—oh, Y/N.” The voice lowers significantly, as does the threat level it emits into the air. “It’s just you.” 
You lift your face from the throw pillow, and immediately brush away at the hair that falls in your face. “What the fuck!” You croak, pushing yourself into a sitting position and pointing at the bat in Karly’s hands. “What are you doing threatening me with a bat? You’ve never played a game of softball in your life!” 
“Oh, this isn’t mine. It’s Soonyoung’s.” Soonyoung is Karly’s boyfriend from high school, who used to play baseball on the high school team. How Karly has her boyfriend’s baseball bat is a mystery, but it’s something you think you are better off not asking about. She places the bat down on the carpet next to the coffee table. “But I should be asking you the questions, you bitch! You scared the shit out of me!” 
You sigh, throwing your head to rest on the back of the couch. “Sorry, sorry. Had a crazy day.” 
Karly ponders this as she moves to take a seat next to you. “You seemed fine when you texted me about you getting drinks with Jimin. Did something happen during the dinner?” 
You straighten up again and grip Karly by the arm. “Okay, don’t scream.” 
“You mean like you did?” Karly retorts dryly. 
You shake her. “I’m serious!” When Karly doesn’t say anything, you take it as a sign to continue with your story. “I saw Jungkook.” 
Karly blinks, then grabs your arm right back. “Wait, Jeon Jungkook, as in the guy you’ve been crushing on since second year?” 
“Yes!” You whine, throwing yourself onto the couch all over again. 
“The one you had to work together on a project with and nearly cried even though you guys just had to submit a paper?” 
“Yes!” 
“The one who said hi to you in the library that one time and you tried to put your elbow on the table afterwards but you missed and hit your head instead?” 
You pause, scowling. “Okay, now you’re just being mean. Are you done?” 
Karly is laughing. “Oh my god. What are the chances of you seeing him now?” 
“There’s more,” You groan out. 
“Really? Honestly that yell could have been just for seeing him again and that would have made sense—!” 
You ignore her. “He’s friends with Jimin. He’s friends with Irene, too. He was invited to her wedding.” 
“Wait, Jimin is friends with Irene or Jungkook is friends with Irene—?” 
“He won’t pay for the flight though. It’s too expensive. I can attest to that.” 
Karly holds a finger up, trying to connect the dots. “When did you look up flight prices—?” 
“So he invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.” 
Karly frowns. 
You sigh. “Jungkook invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.” 
“Oh! Oh!” Karly’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, that’s huge. Are you gonna go?” 
“I don’t know!” You whine. “Jungkook mentioned it would be a four day drive to get there. I don’t know if I can survive four days in a car with him! We’ve never been that close, what if it gets awkward?” 
Karly ponders this. “I really don’t think it’s in Jungkook’s nature to be awkward with someone—especially someone he’s had a history with.” She sees the look of disbelief you give her. “Well, even if that history was really limited. What makes you think it’ll be awkward? Was it awful seeing him tonight?” 
“No!” You cry, straightening into a sitting position so your legs drape over the side of the couch. You force yourself to calm down. “It… it was pretty good actually.” 
Karly raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Really now.” 
“Yeah…” You reply, trailing off. “We sat across from each other during the dinner and we talked most of the night, surprisingly. I guess because we were sort of acquaintances we’ve always known about each other, so it wasn’t like we didn’t know how to ask questions to each other. And Jungkook… he’s easy to talk to as he’s always been and he’s so nice and positive and he has a dimple on his cheek when he smiles…” You finish slowly, noticing your racing heart that has come up as a result of this conversation and of your memory. You realize the predicament you’re in, further emphasized by Karly’s growing grin. You groan. “Shut up.” 
Karly looks like a Cheshire cat. “I didn’t say anything.” 
You grab onto one of the throw pillows and properly hit her in the face. “You’re saying many things right now, you bitch!” 
Karly takes the pillow from you and proceeds to whack you in the shoulder. “Not outloud!” 
“So you admit it!” You accuse, pointing at her. 
Karly yells. “Just admit you still have a crush on him!” 
Your groan turns into a cry. “Don’t say it outloud! Now I have to deal with it!” 
Your roommate sighs. “Bitch, I can tell you exactly how to deal with this. You’re gonna go on this road trip with Jungkook and see if you guys vibe—you honestly will not find a better way to discover your compatibility with him. If it works out, then you get more than a plus one to the wedding. If it doesn’t work out, just skip the wedding and take the first flight back home. Cut off your friendship with Jimin while you’re at it—it’s the only way to ensure you’ll never have to run into Jungkook again.” 
You pout. “That seems a little dramatic.” 
Karly thinks for a second, then she nudges you. “Remind me again about that quote your high school English teacher used to always parade around.” 
You stare at her for a moment, because you know exactly what point she’s trying to make. Still, you decide to humor her. And yourself. “‘You’ll never know if you’ll sink, swim, or float, until you’re willing to take the plunge’.” You level Karly with another gaze. Your friend has a point. You missed any chance to hang out with Jungkook during your college years—partly because your friend groups never intersected, but mostly because of your internalized fear of fucking up. But now that you are just a little older and just a little more versed in the art of conversing and befriending—maybe Karly is right. Maybe this is your chance to see if a different set of timing could make a difference. 
So you sigh. 
“I guess I should text Jungkook, huh.” 
Karly pats you on the shoulder. “Take the plunge, my dude.” 
.
You do take the plunge. You take Jungkook’s business card out from the pocket of your dress and dial the number. He expresses excitement—and also relief. 
These things lead up to the current moment. Eight o’clock in the morning: you lingering in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your suitcase by the door, and a roommate keeping you company. 
You don’t realize how nervous you are until you get a text from Jungkook. 
Jungkook (8:03am): i’m here! u can buzz me up so i can help u with your stuff :) 
You (8:03am): it’s ok jungkook it’s just a suitcase. i’ll be down in a second! 
You pocket your phone, and Karly can read the expression across your face before you realize what is going on. She straightens up. “He’s here?” 
“Yeah.” You rinse your coffee cup and make your way towards the door. “Did you want to come down with me?” 
Karly stops and gives you a look. “I thought that was already implied.” 
“Well, thanks, that’s really nice—!” 
“Someone has to give you an embarrassing goodbye.” 
“There it is.” You sigh. You don’t say anything as you and Karly exit the apartment and make your way down the hall into the elevator. It only takes a few seconds for the elevator to lower down to the ground floor, where you and Karly exit and make your way to the front of the apartment complex. 
You swear your heart beats just a little faster as soon as you see Jungkook near the front entrance of the building. He’s wearing a pair of black jackets with an oversized denim jacket and currently looking down at his phone—overall appearing so tall and pretty and otherworldly. For a brief second, you are taken by the fact that for the next four days, he’ll be yours. 
Jungkook looks up as soon as he hears the door opening and he smiles. “Hey you.” 
You smile, albeit a little lopsided and dreamy. “Hi.” 
Jungkook walks towards you immediately. “Here, let me help you with that.” He reaches a hand out and gently takes the handle of your suitcase before you can say anything. Just as he’s taking the suitcase from you, Karly emerges from the building. “Oh, sorry about that.” 
Karly waves him off. “Don’t be. I’m Y/N’s roommate—I’m just here to see her off.” 
Jungkook stares at her for a moment, then he snaps his fingers. “Wait, I remember you. You went to college with us too.” He jerks his chin towards you. “You hung out with Y/N a lot, right?” 
“Yeah, I’m Karly.” She holds out her hand for Jungkook to shake. “And you’re right, she and I hung out a lot. We were roommates back then too.” 
Jungkook nods in understanding, before shoving his hand into his pocket. His other hand is still holding onto your suitcase. “Well, I promise to take good care of Y/N.” 
Karly smacks her teeth against the side of her mouth as she points at him. “You’re a good man, Jungkook.” She pauses for a moment, seeming to contemplate a new thought. You recognize the look immediately, and your fingers twitch as if you want to strangle her. Or at least let her know you’re throwing her a look of murderous intent. But of course, Karly doesn’t see it. And even if she had, you doubt she’d care. “But no funny business, alright.” 
You gape at her. “Karly!” 
Jungkook coughs at that. “I-It’s just a drive—y-you don’t need to worry about that.” He does, however, turn away to hide the red that dusts his cheeks. 
As soon as Jungkook’s back is facing you, you whirl around to shoot Karly with a glare. “Karly, you’re lucky I’m leaving for the next four days or I would not hesitate to figure out how to make stuffocation look like an accident!” You hiss out between teeth without taking a breath. 
Karly glares right back. “You’re really dumb, aren’t you? The fact that he recognizes me because he saw you hanging out with me on campus doesn’t strike any chords? Even though, like you said, you guys weren’t really friends?” 
You blink. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 
Karly widens her eyes. “What the fuck do you mean? Are you dumb with all the boys or just Jungkook?” 
“What do you mean!” You snap back. 
“So, Y/N, ready to go?” 
You whirl back around to find Jungkook now standing in front of you and Karly. He must have finished packing your suitcase in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head. 
So you force a smile. “Of course,” You say, turning to Karly. “I was just saying bye to my roommate.” 
He nods in understanding, sparing one more glance at Karly before seeming to decide against it because he looks away. He’s still a little red at Karly’s previous comment. “We should get going then.” 
“Sure.” You look over at your roommate. “See you, bitch.” 
Karly waves back, grinning wildly. You just know she has several other thoughts she’d like to share with you, but has probably deemed you embarrassed enough. Lucky for you, she keeps her mouth shut. 
Unlucky for you, without Karly to be a barrier of distraction, this leaves you alone with Jungkook. You slide into the passenger seat of his car, still not yet processing the weight of what you’ve just agreed to. You fiddle alone for a second before Jungkook is opening the driver’s side and shifting into his seat. 
There is a silence as Jungkook is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. Or at least have the ground swallow you whole. Holy fuck, what did you just sign up for? 
Your mind somehow takes five seconds to turn into complete shambles that you almost miss Jungkook’s question. 
“Here, I’m giving you an important mission,” Jungkook says, rummaging through the various chords that lay over the center console before producing an aux cord. “Should you choose to accept.” 
He’s got on such a serious expression you momentarily forget about your anxiety. His usage of the iconic line from Mission Impossible makes you laugh—a breathy sort of noise that escapes when your mind is too full. You still take the aux cord. “Oh my god—ever heard of bluetooth?” 
He pouts. “It hasn’t even been five minutes and you’re already insulting my beautiful Celia!” 
You raise both your eyebrows. “Celia?” 
“Yeah, that’s the name of my car.” He catches the bewildered look you give him before angling himself back to face the steering wheel, where he shifts his console into drive and makes a turn onto the main street. “If you’re already weirded out by the fact I have a name for my baby, then you’re in for a very long four days, Miss. Y/N.” 
You giggle, feeling that distraction of nerves start to come off your shoulders. “Not weird at all.” You pause. “Ryan is the name of my car.” 
“Ah!” He holds one arm out in a grand gesture. “You see, not so strange after all.” He steals a glance at you, watching as you’re about to connect your phone to the aux cord. “Wait!” He says, pointing a finger at you. 
You look up at him, wide eyes. 
He’s still holding an arm up. “How’s your music taste?” 
You’re still giving him your surprised expression. “You scared me!” 
He laughs, returning his hand back to the steering wheel. “Sorry, sorry. I have to ask though—I’d rather know now than later, so I can kick you out and not feel as bad about it.” 
Your laughter seems to melt away the last of your nervous energy. “Nice to know you’re putting all your cards out now.” You look down at your phone. “Regarding my music taste… it’s whatever you want dude! I have some lo-fi on here, some pop, alternative, Broadway, anime openings… an ‘everything’ playlist. Honestly, the world is your oyster.” 
“How about we start with your ‘everything’ playlist,” Jungkook suggests. “That way I can judge you immediately.” 
“Were you always this charming, Jeon Jungkook?” You retort. “Or has graduation changed you?” 
“Oh, I’ve always been this charming—you just never noticed.” 
That comment, however, goes over your head as you focus down on your playlist. You look over, selecting the shuffle option as Taylor Swift’s soft music from her newest album fills the air. Another silence fills the car, but it’s much more peaceful and comfortable. You allow yourself to settle further into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. 
“So,” You start after a moment. Jungkook hums to let you know he’s paying attention. “What inspired the name Celia?” 
Jungkook brightens at the question. “She was this character from a book I read when I was younger. The Night Circus? Anyways, the book is about these two illusionists who try to one up each other with their skills of magic, but they end up falling in love. Celia is the name of one of those illusionists.” 
You grin. “Sounds like a very cute crush.” 
Jungkook grins back. 
The drive out of the city continues like this. The pair of you cover the topic of books, of music, of your favorite animes. Jungkook just has this magical power of ensuring the tension dissipates from your mind and stays gone—whether it’s through his relaxed nature or easy-going teasing or his ability to ease the conversation from one topic to the next. It feels like every conversation you and Jungkook had in college, whether vague or circling around classes, all have led up to this moment. It seems like everytime you or Jungkook run out of things to talk about pertaining to a certain topic, you would bring up memories from college and just continue from there. Everything feels natural. 
It continues to feel natural even as you and Jungkook slowly start to see the edges of the city landscape fade away. The high rises fade into shorter buildings and smaller business areas that surround the bustling city scene. You watch as those buildings and business areas become rows of houses. Residential areas in the suburbs, passing by the occasional school or corner restaurants. 
“Before we enter the wide unknown,” Jungkook starts up, breaking the quiet that has enveloped the car. “You want to pick up lunch? You hungry?” 
You haven’t even realized how much time has gone by until you look at the clock on Jungkook’s dashboard and notice that it’s past noon. You widen your eyes at the sight. “Wow, I didn’t even realize so much time had passed.” 
“Yeah, we drove through a few cities. Time flies when you’re having fun, huh?” 
“You wish,” You tease, sticking your tongue out. “So, what, do we stop at a Cheesecake factory or something?” 
Jungkook blinks. “I thought you were poor—why would we stop at the Cheesecake factory? And why is that the first restaurant that comes to your mind?” 
You wave your hands. “It was just a suggestion!” 
“Well, I’m realizing that I should probably let you know that the motel I picked for us to drive to tonight is pretty far out—Google Maps says we probably won’t get there until midnight, and that’s with us driving straight through.” 
“Midnight? Fuck, Jungkook. Will we make it to the wedding a day early or something?” 
“Ha, ha, no. I’ll go over the schedule I planned out tomorrow. Basically, I want to try and cover most of our ground on the first day so we can take the rest of the trip easy. But I thought I’d let you know now that sitting in a restaurant probably won’t be the most time responsible idea.” 
“That’s true.” You look out the window again and see the golden arches of McDonalds appear within your line of sight. “Let’s just stop at McDonalds.” 
Jungkook follows your gaze. “Alright, down. Let’s do it.” 
He exits off the freeway, following down a route that takes him almost immediately towards the McDonalds parking lot. Since this restaurant is still within the lines of the city, it’s not completely deserted. There are a few cars in the parking lot, even fewer cars in the drive-through line. Because of this, ordering the food only takes a few minutes. Both of you get chicken nuggets, sodas, and large orders of french fries. 
“You know, we’re really living like kings,” You comment as Jungkook drives out and makes his way back onto the freeway. “College graduates, both somehow able to secure a job, and still ordering chicken mcnuggets.” 
Jungkook shrugs. “I wasn’t told this is what adulthood would be like. But I’m not complaining. My 10-year-old self is singing in so much joy right now.” He says this as he’s stuffing a handful of fries into your mouth. You laugh, and hand him a napkin. 
You turn the music back on. The pair of you silently munch on your chicken nuggets, as you angle your head towards the side window once again. As Jungkook drives, the numbers of structural spaces become more scattered the longer you both continue down the freeway. 
The anime opening to Haikyuu starts playing when you turn back to Jungkook and realize that he’s trying to close the box of his chicken nuggets. You move right away, taking the cardboard from him and closing it yourself. “Let me know if you need anything, Jungkook. Think of me as your co-pilot.” 
He laughs gently. “Is that the rule of the passenger seat?” 
You shrug, putting the empty box into the McDonalds bag near your feet. “For me at least. Everytime I do one of these drives with family, the person in the passenger seat has to open the snacks, make conversation, and always stay awake with the driver. It’s just courtesy.”
Jungkook is smiling softly now, mostly to himself, but it lights the corners of his eyes that makes you momentarily unable to look away. “You wanna tell me about your family?” 
So you do. Your voice becomes softer as you continue, but Jungkook listens to every single word you say. 
True to his observation, it’s not long before the pair of you are surrounded by the wide unknown. Houses in the suburbs become farmhouses and farms. Conversations fade from your family to another comfortable silence as you continue gazing out the window. Jungkook requests your lo-fi playlist at some point, filling the car with the soft and distorted hums. It allows your mind to wander as you stare out the window. The empty stretches of land around you are filled with greenery, with mountains, cutting right through the perfect blue of the sky above you. 
By 4:00PM, your entire body is starting to feel the ache of having been seated for long hours on end. You feel the tightness in the muscles of your thigh, the bones in your knees. 
Jungkook must be feeling the same, because as soon as a sign for a rest stop comes on, he exits the freeway and pulls into a large parking lot. There’s a restroom on the side, but the area is surrounded by trees with mountains standing in the background. 
Jungkook stops the car. “We should get out for a bit to move our legs.” 
You’re already tugging on the latch that’ll open the car door. “I’m already feeling it in my knees.” You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction, and Jungkook laughs from next to you. 
He’s opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same. 
You turn to face Jungkook. “I’m gonna use the restroom.” You gesture towards the building and earn a nod from Jungkook, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later. 
Jungkook gestures to the trees surrounding the parking lot. “Want to take a walk around the area? Keep the blood flowing to our legs.” 
You nod. “That sounds like a good idea.” 
“Why don’t you get started. I’ll catch up.” Jungkook watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around. 
He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name. You turn around. “Jungkook!” 
The sight before you makes you waver slightly, as bouts of shyness overtake you. Standing before you is Jungkook, with his camera in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as you’re staring straight into the camera, Jungkook grins. “Say hi!” 
You whine, whirling back around and covering your face. “Are you filming me right now?” 
“I’m a photographer at heart, what did you expect?” Jungkook teases back. “Besides, it’s really pretty around here. You think I won’t film it?” 
You snort, starting your walk around the parking lot. “Oh yeah, because there aren’t any parking lots and trees and bathroom stops at home.” 
Jungkook is quiet for a second. “That’s not what I meant.” 
You turn to stare right into the lens of his camera. “Then the mountains, right?” 
He’s quiet for another second. “Sure.” He does, however, sound a little disappointed. You do not notice this. 
The pair of you stay quiet as you make your round around the parking lot, taking in the mountains from different angles. The walk around is mostly just to rid of the sensation of your legs falling off, but it’s still a nice view to admire. As soon as you finish a complete round, you and Jungkook return back to the car. You watch as he carefully places his camera into his camera bag before you’re both back in your seats. 
Jungkook turns to you. “Ready to get going again?” He looks at the control panel behind his steering wheel. “We’ll probably have to stop for gas in a few hours. But after that, it’s straight to the hotel.” 
You settle back into the passenger seat. “I guess we already have our dinner plans then.” You’re referring to the gas station. 
Jungkook grins. “I’m down for that.” 
And so, the trip continues back on the freeway. With the lo-fi playing in the background, you watch as the sun tears through the blue sky, as the sun finally begins it’s dip to the other side. The singular color once spread across the pane of atmosphere now conjugates around the sun crawling behind the mountain—creating a diffusion of new colors. The corner of the mountain emits an explosion of oranges, pinks, and purples. 
You lift your head from the window, eyes taking in the rainbow of pastels around the now fading sun. “Wow, Jungkook, look at that sunset.” 
He snorts. “You wanna talk about things that you can’t see back in the city?” 
You pout. “But it looks so pretty, see!” You keep gesturing towards the sunset. 
Jungkook relents just enough to spare a glance in the direction. He hums. “Yeah, it’s pretty.” He looks back at the road. “Can’t really find a view like that in the city.” 
You spend a little more time admiring the sunset than Jungkook does, for obvious reasons. You’ve seen a sunset plenty of times before in the past, but the context of this whole situation makes you unable to look away from it. You’re really out here, stuck in a car with someone you have never hung out with for longer than a few minutes. But you are enjoying yourself. There's peace in that. 
So you watch until the sun dips below the mountain, momentarily leaving the sky in a navy color. 
The next time Jungkook speaks, the area around you is much darker, and the sky is nearly black. “You hungry now?” 
You lift your head from the seat, not even realizing you were drifting off. You’re thinking about Irene, wondering if you should have texted her directly congratulating her on the wedding rather than just simply sending in the RSVP. “Sure. We eat as the car eats, right?” 
Jungkook smiles, a gesture you can barely make out from the headlines. “Of course.” 
This goes on for a few more miles until the sign for a gas station comes up. A few other cars linger near the dispensers. Jungkook parks near his choice and gets out of the car. You follow behind him. He’s already sliding his credit card into the machine, and the sight makes you reach over to grab his wrist. 
“I should pay, you’ve been driving all day!” 
He shakes his head, waving you off. “We’ll take turns, okay?” He looks at you. “Buy me dinner tonight too, that sound fair?” 
You pout, leaning back as you cross your arms. “Not really, but I guess I’ll have to accept it.” 
He grins. “You are correct.” 
As soon as the gas pump alerts you of the filled tank, Jungkook returns the pump back to the machine and locks his car. Together, the two of you make your way towards the convenience store, where the bell above rings to alert the workers of your presence. Nods are exchanged as you and Jungkook tear through the aisles to find anything that could satisfy your cravings. You return back with family size bags of hot cheetos and beef jerky, while Jungkook holds his selection of roasted seaweed and Doritos. You select your drinks together before returning to the cashier. 
It’s nearing 9:00PM as you and Jungkook return back to his car, where you slide back into your seats and immediately tear into your bags of salt and sodium. 
“How are you doing?” You ask as Jungkook finishes his first bag of roasted seaweed. 
Jungkook pulls out his phone, scrolling through the final stretch needed to reach the hotel. “Yeah, about four more hours to the motel.” He looks over at you. “I’m good. The salt in this seaweed really helps. How are you doing?” 
You nod immediately. “Great. Perfect.” 
He smiles, shifting his console to drive and pulling out of the gas station. “I’m used to these weird hours. Remember how I told you I traveled around a bit with Mingyu and Wonwoo? There was this one day we only slept for an hour or something? It sucked, I think I almost passed out that day. But yeah, this is honestly not even that bad.” He turns to look at you. “I think the good company helps, too.” 
You roll your eyes, grinning. “You flatter me, Jeon.” 
Slowly, 8PM turns into 10PM. One glance at Google maps tells you that you’re still two hours from the hotel. Even though you’re not the one driving, and although you haven’t endured any physical activity that could result in this exhaustion, you still find yourself growing tired. Something about sitting under the sun, sitting in a vehicle that rocks side to side with a consistent hum—it makes your mind work slowly and therefore brings out the sleepiness quicker. 
You settle deeper into your seat. 
Jungkook giggles from next to you. “You tired already?” 
You pout slowly, eyes closed just enough. “I’m not a morning person and you made me wake up at 8!” 
“Sure, sure, of course.” 
There’s a pause. 
You ponder a question for a moment. It’s something that you would never dare ask Jungkook if you had been more awake and more alert. But you’re tired, and your defenses are lowered, and it means you are more prone to asking questions. “Hey, Jungkook? Did you have any girlfriends when we were in college?” 
Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately. “Where’s this coming from?” He asks instead. 
You shrug, making a dismissive noise as your shoulders rise up. “Curiosity.” 
A pause. “I went on a few dates, but I never had a serious relationship.” 
“No way.” You lift your head up from the seat. “But I remember seeing you hang out with the occasional girl in the quad, or at some restaurants around the school.” 
Jungkook smiles. It’s hard to read the look in his eyes. They’re focused on the road in front of him, but they seem almost hazy and faraway. “Like I said, I went on a few dates. I did really want to get into a long term relationship in college. A lot of my friends had them, that’s where my parents met, so I was really open to the idea of at least experimenting. There were a lot of girls that I thought were nice, easy-going, or just really pretty, so I tried my hand in the whole dating thing.” 
“And it didn’t work out?” You coax out gently. 
“Not really,” He continues. He steals a glance at you. “We’d go on a few dates, but none of them ever felt substantial. I think girls see me and have a certain expectation—an expectation I couldn’t meet. So I never could picture myself in a long term relationship with any of them.” 
You tilt your head towards him. “There must have been someone…” 
“Well… there was one girl.” Jungkook starts after a moment. He’s not looking at you this time. “We had a few classes together earlier—we weren’t in the same major program. I don’t even know if I’d say we were close or anything. We just had a few classes and saw each other around on occasion. But the conversations we did have during class or outside of class just felt more real. Honestly, I could have been totally wrong about her. I could have just been blinded by all these expectations I was putting on her, which is ironic. But she was the only person I could actually see myself being in a long term relationship with. Or at least try.” 
You hum, still facing towards him in your seat. “Why didn’t you try anything then? You’re a good guy, Jungkook. I’m sure she would have wanted to try with you too.” 
“I guess I was just afraid of pushing it and scaring her off. I thought it was better to stay friends with her than try to pursue something. She never gave me an indication that she felt the same.” 
“And how do you feel now?” 
There’s a pause this time. “I don’t know honestly. We remained friends up until graduation but, uh, never saw her again. I do wonder from time to time how she’s doing.” 
“You should reach out to her,” You advise softly. “Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird.” You grin at him. “You need to make your move.” 
It is then that Jungkook turns to look at you. He looks for a little longer this time, eyes focused entirely on you. Underneath the small crescent of the moon above, you are still able to make out his facial features. His cheeks, his nose, his eyes—the latter is glimmering, like he knows something that you don’t. 
“I’m working on that,” He mumbles softly. You turn your head back towards the road. 
You wake up the next morning feeling groggy, dirty, and messy. Your head lifts up from a pillow you can only vaguely remember falling on, laying on top of a bed you only vaguely remember throwing yourself in. There’s sunlight pouring into the room, but it feels like early morning sun. There’s a crisp in the air that you can feel, that you see out of the window. Right outside is the gathering of bushes and trees, a bright blue sky.
You are in the motel. 
Slowly, you push yourself into a sitting position, until you’re resting atop the white linen of your bed. Across the room, snuggled in his own twin bed, is Jungkook. His lashes are fanning across his cheekbones, his lips are parted, and his breathing is slow and soft.
It isn’t until Jungkook shifts in bed that you realize you’ve been watching him like a creep. Hastily, you tear your gaze away and decide to focus your gaze down. You notice immediately that you are not underneath the blankets. Instead, you are lying underneath Jungkook’s jacket. 
You roll the jacket off your frame, discovering that you are still in last night’s clothes—which explains why you were feeling so groggy and discombobulated. You look across the floor of the hotel room. Your suitcase is near the foot of your bed, and your phone sits on your nightstand connected to your charger. 
Vaguely, you recall what had happened the previous night—how Jungkook drove into the hotel room nearing midnight and the exhaustion was so overpowering that you and Jungkook blindly asked for any room with two twin beds before following through and practically collapsing into your respected beds. 
You definitely did that, which explains why you were on top of the bed, why you’re still in yesterday’s clothes, and why Jungkook’s jacket was your blanket. Stealing another glance at Jungkook: underneath the blankets and in a different t-shirt—you can assume that he was able to take a shower before lying down. 
With a sigh, you push off Jungkook’s jacket and lay it down on the bed next to you. Hoping not to disturb Jungkook, you slide out of bed and lower your suitcase to the ground. After fishing out a new set of clothes, you decide to take a shower. 
The warmth from the shower is the best breath of fresh air you’ve gotten since hitting the road with Jungkook. It feels like your body is going through a battery recharge, and it’s one you take your time with. You step out of the shower, running the towel through your hair and drying yourself enough to slip on your outfit for the day. The towel is thrown around your neck as you step out of the shower, letting the steam follow you out of the bathroom. 
Jungkook is still sleeping as you step out, which is good otherwise you’d feel bad for having disturbed his sleep time. After all the driving he did yesterday, you figure he deserves a few extra hours regardless of what the schedule calls for. 
You continue running the towel through your hair as you pick up your phone. Strangely, you do not remember connecting it to a charger before knocking out, but you pick it up regardless to see the 9:00AM time across your screen. 
There’s a quiet that takes over, in which you’re sitting perched comfortably on your bed and scrolling through your phone as Jungkook continues to drift a few feet away from you. 
About thirty minutes seem to pass before Jungkook is moaning softly to himself, letting out a puff of air as he slowly opens his eyes. His arms extend above him, knocking into the headboard and making him curse softly to himself. His eyes open as he lowers his hands to inspect the damage before immediately looking over towards you. 
He blinks, a tired smile overtaking his lips as he arches his back into a stretch. “Hey,” He greets, voice rough and scratchy and making your heart clench. Damn thing. “You’re awake. You knocked out pretty quickly as soon as we got the room.” 
You laugh. “Yeah, I honestly figured that.” You pick up his jacket, as if he hadn’t been the one to lay it on you those hours ago. “Thanks for trying to help me get comfortable.” You gesture towards the nightstand. “Did you find my charger too?” 
Jungkook sits up as he continues a small round of stretches and yawns. “I did,” He says. “You were barely coherent, but made enough sense to tell me where it was in your bag. Sorry for going through it, by the way.” 
You shake your head, waving him off. “No worries. Thank you again, Jungkook.” 
The pair of you stare at each other for a few moments, before that silence is broken by Jungkook’s phone going off. You look down as Jungkook snatches his own phone off the nightstand. He scrolls through something, before placing it back. 
“So, what’s the plan for today?” You ask, bringing your fingers through your hair to comb and give you a distraction. 
“Oh! Right.” Jungkook swings his legs off the side of the bed. “We have a slower day today. The hotel I picked is only about five hours away? We’re driving through the mountains today, so there’s this place I want to visit that has a little restaurant and everything. It’ll be a cute pit stop.” 
You nod. “Awesome, okay.” You curl your fingers around the strands of now loose strands of hair. 
It takes another hour until you and Jungkook are packed up again and ready to leave. A quick stop to the lobby provides both of you with a bagel and cup of coffee each as your breakfast. All before you’re once again sliding into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. 
You roll your shoulders before clicking your seatbelt in. “Ready for another long day?” 
“Of course.” He digs through his center console, producing his aux cord. “Your mission,” He says dramatically, not unlike yesterday. “Should you choose to accept.” 
You laugh gently, taking the cord. “You in love with Mission Impossible or something? This is the second time in two days you’re quoting it to me.” 
And this is how your day starts off—talks of Mission Impossible films that bleed into conversations about movies. 
The day at 10 o’clock in the morning is bright and blue as Jungkook drives back onto the freeway and continues down the road. The first few hours consist of the surrounding flatland, of green grass and high mountains all around. Conversations between you and Jungkook are a little more scattered today, but there’s a new level of comfort about the situation. With both of you well rested, it invites a more relaxed atmosphere as you pass the occasional joke or story time between the pair of you. 
As the sun continues to travel higher in the sky, Jungkook’s car starts it’s approach up the mountain. The trees start enveloping the pair of you into a newer, higher world. Not only that, but whenever you and Jungkook reach a clearing, it exposes a dip of lakes, grass, and mountains. And you, always having enjoyed the views of nature, keep an open eye for every single thing. 
You see Jungkook’s choice of destination before he does, and you gasp excitedly. 
Up ahead is a cloud of pink, white, and red flowers covering an entire mountain side. There is an occasional pop of cedar trees amongst the covering of pink, white, and red, but the colors are so poignant that it captures your attention immediately. 
You point to it. “Is that where we’re going?” 
Jungkook grins. “Surprise!” He’s selected this spot before offering the invitation to let you come along, but you’re not complaining. You’ve never been to a flower farm before, despite having heard about them and seen pictures of them for most of your childhood. You continue to watch with wide eyes and bright smiles as Jungkook drives closer and closer to the destination, finally parking in the appropriate lot after paying the fee. 
You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “Jungkook, Jungkook, c’mon let’s go, let’s go!” You push on the latch and nearly tumble out onto the ground. You straighten to stand on your feet, before meeting Jungkook near the trunk of his car. Surprise, surprise, he pulls out his camera and loops the strap over his head. 
He’s grinning as he closes the trunk. “You’re a little excited, aren’t you?” 
“A little?” You echo, clapping your hands, seemingly unable to wipe the grin off your face. “Jungkook, this is a flower farm! It’s so exciting!” 
So you dart off with Jungkook following closely behind you. The parking lot is located at the top of the flower farm, so the tour around the fields is a downwards one towards the bottom. A small pathway maps out a route for you to follow as you take in the various lines of flowers and colors. One short glimpse at the brochure tells you that these are spring flowers, and that you and Jungkook are visiting during the perfect season. You and Jungkook continue through your makeshift tour in silence, taking in the flowers as well as the view that extends out far beyond your line of sight while Jungkook snaps photographs behind you. Words don’t need to be said when everything around you says it all. 
At the bottom of the field is a cafe, a small brick building with an outdoor seating area facing the now upward flower display. You and Jungkook order sandwiches and soda, and take your seats outside as you wait for your number to be called. There are a fair amount of people today at the field, most of which you can see ahead roaming through the flowers ahead. 
“Have you ever been to a flower farm before?” Jungkook asks, as he glances over at you to see how bright your expression is. 
You smile as you turn to him. “No, never. But thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful here.” 
Jungkook smiles, looking a little smug. He looks proud of himself. “I’ve always wanted to come here, so I’m glad I was able to bring you along.” It looks like he wants to say more, but the number that rests between Jungkook’s fingers is called out, interrupting the conversation. He returns a moment later with the food. “I actually wanted to ask you something,” He says, taking the sandwich plate off the tray and placing it in front of you. 
You take the napkins that are being offered to you. “What’s up?” 
He settles down into his seat. “I didn’t get to return the question that you asked me last night.” 
It takes you a second to realize what he’s referring to. Immediately, you feel yourself turn red as you press your lips together. You were definitely drowsy last night, and hadn’t put too much consideration in the aftermath of asking Jungkook about his college relationships. You instead try for a laugh, as you wave him off. “Well, you don’t need to ask me. It’s pretty boring.” 
“Nonsense,” Jungkook brushes off, taking another bite of his sandwich. “So tell me, did you get into any relationships in college?” 
You laugh, albeit a little nervously. “No, not really. I never even went on any dates before—I guess, like you, I just couldn’t see myself in any long term relationship with anyone that seemed to like me.” 
“Well, how about crushes on your end? Did you like anyone?” 
You gaze over at Jungkook—taking in his wide curious eyes, his soft voice, his contagious laugh. The memories of him waving at you in class, of him catching up to you afterwards to continue previous conversations, of him going out of his way to say hi to you in the library. Jungkook has always been thoughtful, considerate, and soft along the edges. How could you not have crushed on him during college? 
And how could you not continue to have these lingering feelings for him afterwards? 
You think about your own advice you had given to Jungkook. You should reach out to her. Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird. You need to make your move. Could you even follow your own advice? 
You look down before Jungkook could start asking questions about your staring. “There was this one guy,” You start, trying for an uneasy laugh. “But I don’t think he ever noticed me. Well, that’s a lie. I guess we were kind of friends? I think it’s more along the lines of me being out of his league.” 
“That’s depressing,” Jungkook notes as he finishes his sandwich. You hardly even noticed him inhaling the thing. “How could you be out of a guy’s league? You’re so smart and funny and easy to talk to—if anything, a guy would probably be out of your league.” He leans forward, bringing you close enough where you can clearly make out the mole underneath his lip. “Tell me about this punk. So I can tell you he’s not good enough for you.” 
You laugh, keeping your gaze on him. You doubt he’d be so confident had he known about ‘this punk’. “He isn’t a punk,” You remark quietly. “He’s really nice, and really sweet. I was pretty quiet in college. Definitely introverted and kept to myself and had a hard time making friends. Although I would have honestly barely considered him a friend, he just made me feel like my time was meaningful and my attention was valuable to him.” Jungkook’s eyes continue to bore into yours. “If anything, I just wish he knew how much I admire him.” 
Jungkook’s gaze is unwavering across your face, once again displaying that unreadable expression. Yet, despite that, something glimmers in his eyes and he seems to come to an understanding you yourself don’t know about. That glimmer keeps swimming across the orbs, even as he switches his gaze between your eyes. They flicker down to your lips for a second, and your heart stutters in your chest. 
Jungkook coughs, pulling away from you as he seems to hyper-focus his attention on the soda still in front of him. He looks shy as he steals another glance at you from across the table. “He might not have made you feel that important if you were too scared to tell him how you felt.” 
You look down at your sandwich and take another bite. Something about the way he’s staring holes into the side of your face tells you that he knows something that you don’t. You wonder what he’s thinking. 
Jungkook wears that thoughtful expression for the rest of the visit to the flower field, as the pair of you return back to his car and slide back in your seats. He stays quiet as you resume the trip, slowly making your way back onto the freeway and towards your second motel. 
This kind of quiet is different than the previous silences the pair of you have grown to share over the past twenty-four hours. Unlike the comfortable moments of unspoken words, this is more tense. Like he knows something that you don’t. 
You don’t know what to say, or how to break that silence. You don’t know if perhaps you said something you shouldn’t have, or said something to make him uncomfortable. All of those thoughts are not pleasant ones. 
Jungkook stays quiet for most of the drive through the mountain. The music you have selected is loud enough that seems to drown the tense atmosphere, but the questions still press themselves deeply into your mind. What is he thinking about? 
And worse of all: did he know you were talking about him? 
You and Jungkook only speak a handful of times during the trip. He asks you if you need to use the restroom, if you’re hungry, and if you could play him your favorite anime openings. The pair of you have a handful of laughs about your mutual love for Haikyuu and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, but most of the drive to the motel is ridden out in silence. 
The pair of you reach the hotel around dinnertime, definitely nowhere as exhausted as you had been the previous night, but just as eager to finally reach your destination. The tension between you and Jungkook has eased slightly, so you can only assume that perhaps he has overcome whatever was bothering him. You yourself have pushed the thought of Jungkook knowing the truth out of your mind. After all, if he had known, you assume he would have brought it up. Or at least called for an Uber to send you home. You assume you would have provided some sort of reaction for the two of you to talk about. But alas, those thoughts follow a conversation that has not happened, and will probably never happen, because you’re sure that you’ll never have to be in a situation that forces your feelings to go out of control once again—! 
“Hi,” Jungkook returns to the hotel clerk behind the desk, a girl to be about your age, who is flickering her gaze between you and Jungkook. A flicker in her eyes tells you that she already has multiple thoughts and assumptions about your relationship. “Do you have a room with two beds?” 
“Oh!” The girl blinks, momentarily looking taken aback. “Of course, let me check.” She turns her attention to the computer screen in front of her. Her eyebrows furrow together. “I’m sorry sir, we only have rooms with one bed available—either a full, queen, or king-size mattress.” 
Jungkook makes a noise in the back of his throat as he taps his credit card on the desk. Just watching from the side, you notice how he swallows, how he looks down, how his cheeks turn red. He turns to you after a moment. “D-Do you, uh, do you mind?” 
It takes you a second to realize what Jungkook is asking. He’s asking if you’d be okay with sharing a bed with him. Him: your college crush, the guy you never really lost feelings for. 
You turn red too. “U-Um…” You press your lips together and swallow. “S-Sure,” You manage, waving your hands out in front of you. “I-I don’t mind. I-If you don’t mind, of course.” 
“I-I don’t mind either.” Jungkook, however, looks like he’s about to combust. He looks a little lost again. He blinks once, twice, and seems to realize that he’s supposed to hand the woman behind the desk his card. “Uh, whichever room is the cheapest.” 
“That’ll be the room with the full-size bed.” She flickers her gaze between the two of you. “If that’s okay.” 
“O-Of course,” He stammers back, allowing the girl to take the card. He looks at you. “Do you mind staying here? I have to go to the bathroom real quick.” 
“S-Sure, go ahead.” A part of you wants to hit your head on the desk. What is happening to you? Why is the mere thought of sharing a bed with Jungkook turning you into a pile of mush? You’re a grown ass woman—! 
“So the two of you on vacation or something?” The woman behind the desk asks. She’s still in the middle of scanning Jungkook’s credit card. 
You try for a smile. “Kind of, we’re going to a friend’s wedding.” 
“I see, that sounds fun.” She smiles. “You know, I have to be honest, I was a little surprised he asked for two beds. You guys would make a cute couple.” 
At the label, you start to turn red. “O-Oh n-no, we’re not a couple at all. That’s very flattering, b-but yeah we’re not together.” 
“Oh, I know,” The girl rebuffs. Her smile looks more like a grin. She places Jungkook’s credit card on the desk, along with a receipt and a pen. “I hope the full size bed will change that.” She gives you a wink. 
You part your lips, unsure what to make of the situation. “What—!” 
“I’m back,” Jungkook says, sliding up from behind you and making you jump slightly. “What did I miss?” 
“Uh…” You wonder if your face is too red or not. It certainly feels that way. “Here!” You push him forward towards the desk. “She scanned your credit card. You just need to sign and we’ll be on our way.” 
If Jungkook notices the stiffness in your posture, he doesn’t comment as he leans forward to sign the receipt. Just over Jungkook’s shoulder is the worker, looking at you with a now shit-eating grin across her lips. Several questions ping through your mind, but you don’t get to ask any of those because Jungkook is turning around with his credit card in hand. 
“Uh, ready to get going?” 
“Sure!” You say, voice a few several pitches higher and you return to wanting the ground to swallow you whole. Jungkook leads the way out of the lobby, and you dare one last glance back towards the woman behind the counter. 
She’s waving a slip of paper in her hand. 
You turn back to Jungkook. “Hey Jungkook, give me a second. I think we forgot to grab something at the desk.” 
It sort of feels like a walk of shame to reach the worker behind the counter, who is still grinning at the sight of you and your internal struggles. She hands you the slip of paper, mouths something that makes you go red, before you’re turning back towards Jungkook. “Good luck,” She had whispered. 
Before you’re reaching Jungkook, you open the paper. At the very top is the WiFi password. 
Underneath the WiFi password, in what you can only assume is her handwriting, is one sentence. Fate said you guys only get one bed- don’t worry, I think he likes you too :-) 
“What was that about?” Jungkook asks. 
You shove the paper into your pocket. “The WiFi password,” You supply. 
The walk to the hotel room is quiet as Jungkook leads the way through the different hallways, corridors, and numbers on plaques. That tense silence is back as he guides the two of you, stopping only when he reaches the number that matches the one on the index card. He gives you a look, and inserts the card key into the slot. The door beeps, and he pushes open the door to find, true to the word of the lady behind the counter, one full-sized bed in the middle of the room. 
For the first few hours, it’s easy to ignore that full-sized elephant in the room. Jungkook takes out his laptop and you guys watch your favorite season of Haikyuu together—it’s season two—or you guys linger about on your phones. It isn’t until nighttime falls into your bones, into your minds, that you realize that you really need to address the new situation. 
“I’m gonna take a shower first, if that’s okay,” You say, already sliding off the bed to gather your belongings from your suitcase. Jungkook is humming along to the Haikyuu ending song, but he stops long enough to accept you taking the first shower. He watches you as you fish pajamas out from your suitcase. “Hey, Jungkook…” You start. “Are you sure you’re cool with this?” You gesture to the bed. “I can sleep on the floor. They give you extra bedding for a reason…” 
“What? No, of course not, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.” He moves until his knees are pressed into the mattress. “And I’m cool with this. Promise.” He hesitates. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” 
“Y-Yeah,” You manage, straightening into a standing position with your clothes in hand. “I don’t really move around when I’m sleeping. And I trust you, Jungkook.” You keep your gaze on each other until you break it first, turning around to step into the bathroom. 
You step out many minutes later, hair freshly washed and feeling much more relaxed than before. Jungkook has moved to the desk in the corner of the hotel room, typing away at some emails on his laptops. He does, however, whirl around upon hearing you exit the bathroom. The sight of you in your sweats, t-shirt, and damp hair makes his eyes linger. 
You merely tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You can go now,” You say quietly. 
Jungkook nods. “Thanks.” 
Breaking that eye contact again, you turn to the bed and lift the blankets to slide under the covers. You rest your head on the pillow, and immediately start to drift away. 
You are brought back after what only feels like a few minutes, when you hear a light switch turn off followed by the blanket next to you lifting up. You turn slightly towards the other side of the bed. “Jungkook?” You whisper. 
A stillness. “Ah shit, I’m sorry. I was trying to be sneaky.” 
“Mmm…” You mumble softly, turning your body 180 degrees in order to face him. You can vaguely make out the shadow of Jungkook’s outline. “Don’t worry. I’m a really light sleeper. Come on in.” 
There is a shift in the blankets until you feel the additional weight of Jungkook’s figure crawling in next to you. The knowledge that Jungkook is lying right next to you turns your blood hot both with anxiety and because Jungkook brings in a new wave of heat underneath the covers. For a cool spring night, it’s comforting. But also further anxiety-inducing. 
Jungkook shifts and even though the pair of you are on opposite sides of the bed, you can still feel the warmth radiating off his body. In the silence of the hotel room, you can hear Jungkook breathing. 
“Is this okay?” It’s Jungkook asking. His voice is quiet, soothing, and very close to your face. You realize that you guys are facing each other. 
Still, you have to give an answer. “Y-Yeah,” You reply softly. “Goodnight, Jungkook.” 
“Goodnight.” 
You turn onto your back. You try to go to sleep, you really do. But your heart is pounding, and rather than the blood filling your ears, it’s the sound of Jungkook’s breathing. 
“Y/N, you still awake?” Jungkook asks softly. 
You snort. “It’s only been a minute.” 
Jungkook smiles. “Sorry. I just… I have a question. A thought, actually.” 
“What is it?” 
“Well, okay, I don’t want to come off as arrogant or self-centered, but it’s just a question and just this thought that I have…” 
“Jungkook.” You turn back to face him. “You can ask me the question. I don’t mind.” 
“Well, alright.” Jungkook shifts. He’s a little closer now, you can make out the outline of his face. Everything looks slightly more defined now, definitely a result of your eyes adjusting to the darkness. “When you were talking about the guy you had a crush on… you know, when I asked if there was someone you were interested in while we were in college.” 
“Oh, I remember.” Your heart feels fuzzy, even though you have no idea what he’s going to ask you. 
“Okay, um. I guess I just wanted to know. Were you talking about me? 
The world seems to stop tilting on its axis—and all the consequences of that follow along. Everything around you slows to a grind: your heart stops in your chest, and all the air drains out of your lungs. You hold your breath, feeling as if your body has just been dipped underwater. Thousands of thoughts ping through your mind. You feel like that episode of Spongebob where all the file cabinets in your brain are catching aflame. You suddenly feel like you have no thoughts, but too many thoughts at the same time. 
Above all, one question rises above all the rest: how did Jungkook know? 
You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t hear your name being called. It isn’t until you feel a hand at your shoulder do you jolt. “H-Huh?” 
“S-Sorry.” Jungkook sounds a lot more nervous now. “You weren’t responding.” 
“I… I was thinking,” You reply lamely. 
A pause. “What’s your answer?” Were you talking about me?
You swallow. Should you tell the truth? Or should you deny everything with the hopes that Jungkook will forget this conversation ever existed? 
The words spill out before you can think of a proper answer. “What if I was?” 
Jungkook is quiet for a moment. “Well…” He starts up again, inching forward towards you. Every move he makes is amplified in your ear, every squeak of the mattress and every rustle of clothing echoed in the small space that is your hotel room. “I’d be kinda frustrated, to be honest. Because when I was talking about my own crush, it might have been about you.” 
At Jungkook’s confession, the world seems to come crashing down on you as everything around tries to catch up to you. Immediately, you assume that perhaps you hadn’t heard Jungkook correctly, or maybe you’re completely misinterpreting what he’s trying to say to you. 
In a perfect world, maybe you’d say something witty and smart. Maybe you’d play along until he snapped. Maybe you’d be fluent in courting talk and understand exactly what he’s trying to say to you. 
But this isn’t a perfect world, and you are neither witty nor smart. You most certainly are not aware of flirtations. You need boys to be as straightforward as possible. Which is why you utter the most comprehensible: “What?” 
You feel a warmth at your hip—Jungkook’s hand against your skin. “Ahhhh.” Jungkook starts, not at all sounding fearful but rather casual. Still the underlying case of shyness, however, because this is still Jungkook. “I forgot you sometimes need simple things spelled out for you. Remember when you emailed our Arts History professor three times because you kept forgetting what font she wanted the assignment in?” 
You flush—Arts History was the class you and Jungkook were forced to pair up together for. Maybe you would have protested it more had you known Jungkook would turn out to be a little shit over it. “That was a one time thing! You’ve been bringing it up for as long as I’ve known you!” 
Jungkook giggles, pulling you closer so your face is against his collarbone and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Shh, okay, okay, I’m sorry.” 
Your face is burning at the feeling of your bodies so close together, your fingers pressed against his shirt and your nose against his skin. He smells like floral fabric softener. “Jungkook…?” You whisper softly, breath fanning his neck. 
Jungkook tilts his head to rest gently against your temple. He stays quiet for a moment, absorbing the moment. “If you did have a crush on me in college, it would be frustrating. Because I had a crush on you too.” 
This time it’s straightforward, just like how you’ve always wanted it. Why can’t you seem to reply? 
“Oh.” 
“I know.” 
You curl your fingers around Jungkook’s shirt. “What if…” You start slowly. “What if I said I still had those feelings?” 
Jungkook seems to think about his answer. “I’d say that I do too.” 
You swallow, nodding in a way that allows him to feel the movement. “Okay then.” 
Without a warning, Jungkook moves to curl his whole arm around your frame. This brings you even closer together. He noses your hairline. “Go to sleep,” He whispers softly. “We can talk about this tomorrow.” 
A part of you wants to say no—that holding off on confessions isn’t what happens in novels or tv shows or movies. But the larger part of you knows that you won’t be able to have a proper discussion like this when you are weak, tired, and vulnerable. Your heart stalls at his consideration, allowing yourself to be content just like this: asleep, cuddling with Jeon Jungkook as you’ve imagined since you first developed your crush. 
It’s much better than the fantasy. 
.
You wake up the next morning with Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, his soft breathing against your neck and his lips dusting the skin of your neck. There’s a new kind of comfort you find being held like this, and a part of you wants to melt back into his arms. You think you can pretend to be asleep just to stay here a little longer, but the urgency you have to pee and get the day started becomes too pressing. 
Your previous assumptions of Jungkook being a heavy sleeper are confirmed as you manage to untangle yourself from him without so much as a whine from his end. By the time you finish with the bathroom, Jungkook is just beginning to push himself into a sitting position. 
You linger near the foot of the bed. “Good morning,” You greet, almost nervously. For good reason to—the memory of last night is vague but defined well enough where you aren’t sure what the next course of action should be. It’s not like your college ever offered a course about what to do when your crush admits to liking you back. 
Jungkook looks at you from across the bed. He gives you a small smile, a reassuring one. “Morning,” He says back. “How did you sleep last night?” 
You twist your hands together. “Pretty good, actually. How about you?” 
“Me too.” He adjusts his position so he can crawl over to you. He slides his legs over the side of the bed right next to you. He brings his hands towards you, palms up. Although he’s close enough to reach you, he doesn’t. Instead, he asks: “Can I?” 
You don’t say anything, you merely rest your hand in his. He tugs you towards him, stopping only when you’re standing between his legs. He still keeps his fingers curled around yours, turning your hand up to play with your fingers. 
He looks up at you, a soft smile across his lips. “Hi.” 
You smile back. “Hi.” 
He laces your fingers together, resting them between your bodies. “I guess now for the bigger question… how are you feeling?” 
You look down at your hands, deciding you like the way his larger hands cover yours. “H-How did you know I was talking about you?” You ask instead, looking over at him. 
Jungkook shifts his gaze away for a moment. “I don’t know,” He admits earnestly. “You were just looking at me back at the flower field and I had a feeling. And I really think a part of me was hoping you were talking about me.” 
Unable to help yourself, you feel the side of your mouth quirk up into a small smile. “What would you have done if I wasn’t talking about you?” 
He exhales in a laugh. “Honestly, I might have just driven out in the middle of the night and gone over a bridge or something.” 
You laugh, trying to diffuse your smile by pressing your lips but it only works so well. “I was really surprised to hear you liked me back.” 
“Of course!” He exclaims, looking momentarily shocked that you would feel this way. “I wasn’t messing around when I said you were smart, funny, and easy to talk to. That’s what made me really like you when we first met. Whenever we talked you just felt so real and approachable—like I could just be myself around you. And even now, seeing you after graduating and realizing you’re still all of those things. It just makes me like you more.” 
You feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest. You’ve never thought of yourself in the way Jungkook is describing you—you always just assumed that you were in the background, that you’d never be enough. 
Jungkook is looking at you, his eyes big and wide and full of truth. “Is that weird?” He asks. 
You shake your head immediately. “No, no it’s not weird at all.” You shrug a shoulder, giving him a meek smile. “It’s really sweet, actually.” 
Jungkook grins at that, heaving out a breath as a sign of his lowered defenses. “I think you’re sweet too.” 
You groan at that, throwing your head back as Jungkook breaks into a series of giggles. “You’re corny.” 
“You’re not complaining,” He points out. This is true. 
You shrug. “I guess that means I’m expecting us to catch up on three years of terrible flirting.” 
The smile slides off his face. “You’re right.” He brings your joined hands closer together until your whole body is standing closer to his. “Can I ask to kiss you?” 
The four letter K word makes your heart stutter in your chest once more. Your hands are so close to his chest that you can feel his own heart beating, and the thought of Jungkook being equally nervous for this gives you enough confidence to return his question. “Why don’t you ask and find out?” 
He smiles, a bunny smile that crinkles his eyes. “Touche. Can I kiss you?” 
You smile back. “Yes…” You whisper, leaning down just enough for Jungkook to crane his neck up in order to meet each other halfway. It’s just a closed-mouth kiss, a soft weight against your lips.
It’s one that Jungkook pulls away from before you can really enjoy it, really ponder asking for more. “Sorry,” He says immediately, pointing to his mouth. “Morning breath.” 
The pair of you stare at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. That tense atmosphere is gone, replaced inside with that previously casual and comfortable air—as you step away from Jungkook and let him get his morning started. Except this time, the air is filled with open lingering stares, shy smiles, and Jungkook taking your suitcase wordlessly as you exit your hotel room. 
By the time you load into your car, it’s nearing noon and the gas tank in Jungkook’s car is almost empty. The pair of you agree in another champion’s breakfast—gas station food. 
“I swear, we’re both going to have terrible breakout tomorrow during the wedding,” You point out. Despite your words, you still tear into your Nacho Cheese Doritos with the aggression of a gorilla. “I’m going to photograph horribly. Irene will be so embarrassed.” 
“You photograph horribly? Inconceivable!” He says the word just as it is said in The Princess Bride, which makes you burst into another fit of laughter. 
The afternoon pans out the same way it has for the past two days. Jungkook drives onto the freeway, you decide the music, and the conversations fade in and out. Neither of you talk about the events of the previous night or of what happened in the morning—but the way Jungkook reaches out to laces your fingers together is more than enough. 
The town Jungkook has selected to stop for the evening is a five hour drive from the wedding venue—and it’s an actual city space this time, with restaurants and grocery stores and apartments. As soon as Jungkook tells you this information, you are bursting with excitement. It’s been two days since the pair of you actually stopped and lingered in a city environment and you miss it. 
It takes another whole day of driving to reach the city destination, as the first alert you get is the increasing number of cars that have joined you on the freeway. These more busy freeways guide you into the city, where you are greeted with the first sight of buildings, sidewalks, restaurants, and parking lots in days. 
Even though most of these landmarks are simple flashes that you and Jungkook pass through on the way to the hotel he has selected, you keep your eyes glued out of the window in order to take in as much of the surrounding area as you can. You continue to watch as the immediate high rises become more sporadic and spread out, until he’s finally pulling into the hotel. The sun is just setting behind the many buildings along the horizon. Lots of other cars are parked in the parking lot. You can hear other cars, buses, and trunks driving around the background—and you feel strangely comforted by this discovery. 
“Are you okay with sharing another bed today?” Jungkook asks as he guides the pair of you into the lobby. “I may or may not have called to make a reservation earlier when you were in the bathroom.” 
You laugh, feeling giddy at the thought of Jungkook taking the initiative to continue progressing your now slow-growing relationship. “Was that all they had left?” You ask teasingly as you make your way to the counter. 
Jungkook smiles down at you. “Perhaps I didn’t ask…” 
Your lips part. “Jungkook!” 
“What?” He’s laughing now. “I think I’m gonna bow out of any excuse to cuddle with you now that you’ve given me a taste of what that’s like?” 
You’re gasping in the midst of your laughter. “You’re terrible,” You manage. 
So Jungkook checks in—true to his word, he has reserved a single full-sized bed for the room. 
“Hey, so, I was thinking,” He starts as he’s following the map provided to him by the employee with directions about getting to his appropriate room. This hotel is slightly bigger than the off-the-road ones you and Jungkook pulled into, so it takes a little longer to find the room. After a few minutes of turning the map over, you two eventually find the room. 
“What’s up?” You ask as you push open the door and roll your suitcase into the space, with Jungkook following closely behind you. 
“Come here,” Jungkook requests gently, watching as you let go of your suitcase and make your way towards him. You move into his space easily, allowing him to hold you by the waist. “Since we’ve both admitted to missing out on three years of courting, flirting, and dating—I think we should go out to an actual restaurant to have an actual date.” 
You lean back slightly and give him a slightly shocked look. “Really?” 
“Yes!” He says. “Besides, someone has to put their foot down and say that eating only McDonalds and gas station hot dogs is not the right way to go.”
You laugh at that. “True, but we were having so much fun!” 
“Nope!” He exclaims, shaking his head. “The foot is going down, we’re going to an actual restaurant for dinner. Get changed, take a shower, whatever you need to do to freshen up.” There’s a finality in his words as he finally steps away from you, the smile of sweetness still on his lips. 
The restaurant Jungkook picks after scrolling through Yelp and other lists of recommendations is a corner Italian place that apparently serves the best Linguini and clams—a dish that you really enjoy. So you put something together much more presentable than your usual round of sweatpants and baggy t-shirts—replacing the sweatpants with black jeans and giving yourself a cream colored cropped sweater. It makes Jungkook’s eyes widen all the same. He’s clad in his usual black jeans and oversized coat that is perfect for the spring breeze. 
Since the restaurant is within walking distance of the hotel, you and Jungkook agree to chill off on the driving just enough to stretch your legs and actually have a walk for once—all while celebrating the final night of the road trip. 
“I was a little worried about this at first, to be honest with you,” You admit softly to Jungkook, long after the pair of you have been seated in a corner booth and have ordered your food. You’re circling the pasta noodles around your fork, and Jungkook is watching with a touch of amusement and adoration in his eyes. 
“Not gonna lie, so was I,” Jungkook returns back with an equally meek smile. 
You gape at him. “You invited me though!” 
“I did!” Jungkook exclaims with a laugh, looking down at his own order of food. “Me inviting you was honestly a spur of the moment thing. Me catching up to you, however, was me trying to be brave.” 
“You seemed pretty brave throughout most the trip,” You point out 
Jungkook shakes his head, situating his arms in a cross motion. “Nah dude that was just all a very well thought out facade. A part of me was expecting it to go terribly so I could at least walk away knowing that I built you up in my mind and the fantasy of that was better than the reality.” He must see the look of uncertainty casting a shadow over your mind because he immediately cuts back in. “Just so you know, the reality is much better than anything I could have conjured up.” 
You lower your chin slightly, staring over at Jungkook. You bring one shoulder up into a half-hearted shrug, maybe to showcase a certain level of carelessness. “What were you conjuring up then?” 
“Oh, I don’t know if you want to go there right now,” He rebuffs, looking a little red in the cheeks. “I think we should start slow. Refer to the PG thoughts, if you will.” 
You laugh, focusing your gaze momentarily on the last of your pasta. You had sorted through the clams, since they weren’t your favorite things to eat. “Jungkook, are you admitting to me that you have thoughts above PG?” 
“Oh shit, that wasn’t my intention!” 
You giggle. “I’m messing with you, Jungkook!” 
He pouts. “Don’t do that.” He rests his hand on the table, palm up, inviting for you to take it. “I just want to spend today with you, and take it slow—I just want to hold your hand and kiss you and lay with you and just be with you in the way I couldn’t be with you in college. Is that too weird?” 
You look down, pressing your lips together, trying not to squeal and definitely not trying to throw yourself off the chair. You look back over at him and squeeze his hand. “That’s not too weird at all. That’s actually really sweet. Honestly, those are things I probably would have asked for regardless. I don’t really know the rules of dating—I never really went out that often.” 
Jungkook smiles sweetly back at you, he brings your hands up to kiss the back. “I’ll give you a few pointers then, let’s get going.” 
After the check is paid for—it ends up being a split between the two, it’s the best compromise you can come up with considering he wants to take you out but you want to pay him back for driving this far—the pair of you emerge back into the city space. Jungkook’s hand is still wrapped around yours, using that connection point to pull you close to him. 
“Now this move,” Jungkook explains, beginning to lead you both back to your hotel room. “Is when the gentleman walks the lady home, because their date went by smoothly and he wants to see her for as long as possible.” 
You laugh. “I’m enjoying this so far.” 
The pair of you continue down the sidewalk, using the time it’ll take to walk back to the hotel to walk off the food in your stomach. You resume your conversation, giggling and laughing all the same until you’re walking through the lobby of the hotel and slowly making your way to your hotel room. 
Right before you step inside, Jungkook stops you. “Normally, the front door is where the gentleman drops the lady off, and they talk about how well the date went.” 
“Oh, well, in that case, this was so nice, Jungkook,” You remark, beaming at Jungkook’s own smile. “I’m glad you convinced me to eat real food for once.” 
“You’re welcome—I had fun too.” Jungkook slides closer to you. You, completely hypnotized by his next movements, watch as he cups your face with his hand to angle you upwards. “This is the part where we have a first kiss, because the stars are lined up for this. And because I really want to.” 
You smile, curling one of your hands around the wrist near your face. “Seeing as we’ve already had our first kiss, how about a second one?” 
Jungkook smiles back, eyes lidded towards your mouth. “I guess that’ll work.” His lesson on dating, it seems, is done, as he leans in to kiss you. You suck in a breath as he covers your lips with his. It’s deeper than the first time he kissed you—which had been more of a peck with a side of morning breath. But now you’re both awake, tasting like wine, and drunk off each other. It’s a more real kiss. 
You whimper as Jungkook’s tongue runs over your bottom lip, before slipping into your mouth. It’s a sensation you can get completely lost in, until Jungkook pulls away. 
Under the hallway light, you can make out his flushed cheeks, his wet lips, his dark gaze. 
Immediately, Jungkook is pulling you to his side before he starts digging through the pockets of his jeans. “Alright, we’re going inside right now.” 
You lean into his shoulder. “I thought I was supposed to invite you inside, Jeon? What happened to giving me pointers on first dates?” 
“Screw that,” He retorts, practically shoving the hotel door open. He turns around to face you. “Now, this is our hotel room. And I want to kiss you in private.” 
Your laughter is drowned out as Jungkook tugs you by the wrist into the room. 
.
Under different circumstances, waking up next to each other after a first date would hit you with a wave of anxiety and maybe even a vague sense of embarrassment at letting someone you like see you in such a vulnerable position. 
Right now, however, under the morning sunlight within the covers of your shared hotel bed, you just feel happy and content. You wake up on your side, with an arm resting over Jungkook’s chest and his fingers curling around your own. There is an immediate feeling of giddiness that overtakes you, because it’s hard for you to believe that this is happening. Someone you’ve liked and continue to like actually returning your feelings? That has always been such a foreign concept to you. 
You don’t know how long you continue laying in bed until Jungkook starts shifting next to you, signalling his wake. You watch as his eyes slowly peel open, laced with grogginess but still looking unfairly attractive that there are butterflies in your stomach. 
Jungkook lets out a sigh, as he looks down at you. A tired smile takes over his expression. “Morning.” 
“Good morning,” You reply back, voice soft and a little shy. “Happy wedding day.” 
That is true. Today is Irene’s wedding—an event you and Jungkook will arrive at in nearly five hours. There’s a strange sort of knot that is beginning to twist itself in your stomach, a knowledge that something good is coming to a close but a fear in the unknown as to what this would mean regarding your relationship with Jungkook. Neither of you have laid down groundwork for your relationship—if this even is a relationship to begin with. You may be inexperienced with this kind of stuff, but you’re sure that one date and making out on a hotel bed doesn’t immediately constitute an exclusive relationship. 
If Jungkook notices the tension in your form, he doesn’t say anything. He kisses your temple and grumbles something about wanting to get the day started. He mentions something about not having to worry about getting dressed for the wedding straightaway—that he has reserved a room at the hotel some of the guests of the wedding would be staying at, which is where you will be getting ready before the event. You nod, hearing pieces of his words, but a lot of it gets lost in your own thoughts. 
Is it okay to ask questions about where you stand with Jungkook? Is it foolish of you to even bother wondering? You’ve seen movies and have had conversations with friends about guys who dismissed questions like that as ‘moving too fast’. You don’t want to scare Jungkook off, but you also need to know that you’re not wasting your time.
You remain in bed, staring up at the ceiling as you sigh and try to organize through your thoughts. You also try to break down how the past three days have been. 
However, trying to do so proves to be a difficult challenge, as Jungkook’s phone starts buzzing excessively on his side of the nightstand—it seems like he is getting a series of text messages from someone. 
You know you shouldn’t be looking or prying, but the constant binging of alerts only eats at your nerves more. You turn in the bed towards Jungkook’s side, picking up the device to search for the silence switch along the sides. The screen, however, lights up and you immediately see a name you have not seen or heard since college. 
Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts 
Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think 
Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :) 
You freeze, feeling your body overload with information and questions come flooding into your mind. At first, you think you reread the message wrong. You think that maybe Jennie is texting the wrong person. But after the third or fourth time, you realize that this isn’t a dream. That Jungkook already has a plus one to the wedding, and it isn’t you. 
More than that, it’s Jennie. 
Jennie is also someone you went to college with, and someone that you only heard of between the grape vines and therefore is someone that is only vaguely recognizable. But you definitely know her. Jennie had been one of Irene’s friends, president of her sorority—and labeled some of the nicest people on campus. Even just from rumors and the one time you ran into her around the school, you can see it. Jennie is nice, beautiful, friendly, and outgoing. All the things you are not. 
And now, she’s Jungkook’s plus one to the wedding. And Jungkook did not tell you. 
Your lips part as your head starts to spin. Why didn’t Jungkook tell you he already had a plus one to Irene’s wedding? Maybe he did not owe you the explanation, and maybe you should never have assumed he’d be your plus one to the wedding. 
The thought of you assuming Jungkook would be your date to the wedding fills you with a vague mortification—why did you have to go ahead and assume? 
Your mind starts to spiral as you fall into the depths of overthinking. Now you were set to attend a wedding alone, with no plus one, and surrounded by people you don’t know. All while watching Jungkook sit with Jennie, eat with Jennie, and dance with Jennie. 
Holy fuck, holy fuck, what were you going to do? You can’t go to this wedding alone. You can’t confront Jungkook about this—you’re not even supposed to be touching his phone or looking through his phone. He would definitely be upset. How could he not be? 
At once, the tears collect in your eyes. How could this be happening? Seconds ago, you had been so content and happy, excited to attend this wedding with Jungkook. Seconds ago, you had been confident about your feelings, and Jungkook’s feelings in return. From all the kisses he showered you in, the date, the talking, the confessing—how could you not feel that way? 
Had Jungkook just been pulling your leg? After all, he did have three years to talk to you, to go out with you. Why hadn’t he said something sooner? Is he here right now: talking to you and laughing with you because he hadn’t found anyone and knows that you would do anything for him? 
In the background, you can vaguely make out the shower in the bathroom turn off, signalling Jungkook’s near completion with the bathroom. At once, it feels like you’re in a car that has enforced sudden breaks and has sent you flying against the dashboard—like you can’t breathe. 
Hastily, you rest Jungkook’s phone back on the nightstand and roll back over to your side of the bed. You blink quickly, trying to rid of the tears that have collected in your eyes while also trying to calm the lump in the back of your throat. 
Just as you’re starting to get a handle back on your feelings, the bathroom door opens and you can vaguely make out Jungkook’s humming as he exits. The fact that he sounds so carefree while you’re hurting only a handful of feet away almost makes the tears come back in. But you’ve learned how to hide your emotions well. 
Jungkook’s soft laugh brings you out of your thoughts. “Still in bed?” He asks jokingly, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on your ankle. You try not to stiffen at the gesture. “You know, even though we’re getting dressed at a different hotel, we still need to get going.” 
You take in a breath. “I’m comfortable here,” You exclaim, sitting up and facing Jungkook. He’s looking as wide-eyed, easy-going, and comfortable as always. You’re not sure how long you can keep up the facade of being okay. “I was just waiting for you, that’s all.” 
You don’t wait for him to reply as you slide off the bed, grab your clothes from your suitcase, and lock yourself in the bathroom. You ignore the lump in your throat as you brush your teeth, as you get your day started. Finally, you look up at your own reflection in the mirror. Unlike previous times, when there had been a glimmer to your gaze—you don’t know you recognize the now disheartened individual before you. 
You exit the bathroom and immediately turn to pack up your suitcase once more, ignoring Jungkook in the process. The boy is on his phone, typing something—probably a text message. Maybe he’s responding to Jennie, confirming their date for tonight, as he remains completely oblivious to your feelings. 
The thought brings the tears back to your eyes. 
“Ready to go?” Jungkook asks, all smiles and soft eyes as he slides off the bed to face you. 
You don’t look at him as you shoulder your carry-on bag and straighten into a standing position. “Yeah.” You don’t mean for the tone to come out dry and unresponsive, but you’re too focused on trying to get the tears out of your throat. 
You miss the way the smile slowly slips off Jungkook’s face as he watches you move towards the door. 
Jungkook moves towards you, reaching forward to take your suitcase from you just as he’s done for the past few days. 
You, however, brush him off. “It’s okay, Jungkook.” You pull open the door and make your way down the hallway without looking back to see if he’s following closer behind you. You don’t need his help, you don’t need his pity. You don’t need him to do these things, to lead you on—especially if he was going to end up with some other girl at then end of the day. 
You stay quiet as you make your way to Jungkook’s car. Jungkook steals the occasional glance in your direction, seeming to finally realize that something is wrong. 
He, however, doesn’t say anything until you’re back on the freeway—on the five hour drive towards the wedding venue. “Everything okay?” 
You’re playing with your hair, but you stop long enough to spare him a short glance. You’re not even looking at his face, you’re looking at the chair he’s seated on. “What do you mean?” 
Jungkook clears his throat. “You’ve been really quiet since I got out of the bathroom. You…” He gestures to the center console. “You’re not even playing any music.” He tries for a smile. “I’d really like to listen to your ‘everything’ playlist.” 
“Sorry, I’m not really in a music-listening mood right now,” You whisper, realizing that you should probably cover up your ass a little better than you are currently. “S-Sorry, I think it was something at the restaurant yesterday. I’m not feeling super hot right now.” 
“Oh no, do we need to stop by a pharmacy or something? I can run in and get some stomach machine or whatever—!” 
“Jungkook, it’s fine.” 
Maybe it’s the finality of your tone, or the sharper edge in your voice, but Jungkook quiets down again. One glance in his direction shows you the furrow of his eyebrows, the set of his jawline—he looks hurt and confused. And that kills you inside. 
A small part of you wants you just lay all your cards on the table—to admit your side of the story and let him know about the texts and the hurt feeling still eating itself at your heart. 
But another part of you, the bigger part of you, doesn’t want to give Jungkook that power. You don’t want to be the one to crack first, to be the one who gets hurt first. So you refuse to say anything, settling deeper and deeper into the seat of Jungkook’s car. Contrary to your initial thoughts, he doesn’t plug in his own phone to play his own music. He simply allows the pair of you to bathe in silence. 
Without the music to distract you, without Jungkook trying to make conversation, it forces your mind to linger on the events of the early morning. Maybe Jungkook didn’t tell you because it was obvious to him that the pair of you would never have been a plus one to the wedding in general. He’s probably hurt because Jungkook can’t get his way with you. 
The realization that he doesn’t even have the consideration to warn you ahead of time that an invitation for a ride doesn’t equate to an invitation to be a plus one brings the tears back to your eyes. Did you not even deserve a warning? Why would Jungkook let you kiss him, let you fall in love with him—only to turn his back on you like this? 
You have to keep your eyes glued to the window of the passenger’s side of the car, just to make sure Jungkook won’t see the tears. You can just imagine that he’ll ask, and the conversation will steer the pair of you into an even more awkward space. 
It’s a very agonizing five hours. Not having that time to recover from the shock of those texts is becoming increasingly more difficult for you to handle. 
There are a few times that your tears overwhelm your whole system, where you have to sniff to get a handle on your body’s response to the emotions going through your body—which you’re sure Jungkook can hear. After all, there’s no music playing and there is a silence that is threatening to swallow you whole. 
Jungkook, however, does not say anything in response to your very obvious sniffle. He merely tightens his grip on the steering wheel, and keeps his mouth shut. You wonder if he’s waiting for you to talk first, to explain what’s going on with you. 
The sky is bleeding orange by the time Jungkook pulls into the new hotel, the final hotel. There is still two hours until the wedding is set to start, but every nerve in your body is screaming for you to leave and go back home. Every nerve in your body is telling you that you don’t belong here anymore. 
“Okay, I let you have your peace for the whole drive over,” Jungkook starts off, voice tight, fixing the car into park. “But I’m asking you this right now. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem fine… and I’m worried about you…” He reaches across the car to land a hand on your shoulder. It’s a completely normal gesture, especially between you and Jungkook, but you cannot handle it. 
You jerk away. “I’m fine,” You snap out, actually fixing your gaze on him this time. Jungkook recoils, immediately retracting his arm from you, looking like you just burned him. You tear your gaze away from him. You’re not strong enough to see him hurt because of you. “Why do you care anyways?” 
Jungkook exhales in disbelief, turning towards the steering wheel of the car and running a hand through his hair. “What are you talking about? Is this about last night? Did I… say something to scare you off?” 
“This isn’t about what you said, this is about what you didn’t say and what you’re not telling me!” 
Jungkook looks like you just grew a second head. “What are you talking about?” 
You whirl back to face him. “Oh, so the fact that you and Miss. Jennie were already set to go to this fucking wedding together and you didn’t even think to give me a heads up and tell me?” 
Jungkook freezes like a deer in headlights. “What? How did you know about that?” 
You laugh, but it’s a hollow noise that only makes that lump come back to your throat. “Nevermind,” You bite out. This time, you don’t stop the tears from resurfacing as you give Jungkook a full look this time. His demeanor changes from frozen to pained at the sight. “I hope you guys are very happy together.” 
You don’t say another word as you fumble with the latch of the door before pushing it open with more strength than necessary. You can vaguely hear Jungkook struggling with his own seat belt, but you don’t care. You slam the car door shut and storm away. You don’t know where you’re going—maybe around the corner to scream, or to call a taxi that’ll take you to the airport. You don’t care about the wedding. You don’t think you could face the embarrassment in facing Jungkook or Jennie or Irene right now. 
“Shit, Y/N! Y/N!” Jungkook is calling for you now, his footsteps loud against the asphalt. 
Everything feels like you’re going through water, which is probably why Jungkook is able to reach you as quickly as he does. He catches you by the wrist. 
“Y/N—please, will you stop and just listen to me?” 
“No! Jungkook, let me go.” You start trying to tug your wrist, trying to pull yourself away from him. “Let me go! I’m leaving! I don’t want to see you anymore!” You’re gasping, the tears blurring your vision and making you feel powerless. 
Without a warning, Jungkook pulls you in his arms. Wrapping his arms around you, he traps you in his embrace. And you are miserable. 
“Stop it!” You gasp, trying to push him away. You’re heaving—crying and trying to escape from someone as strong as Jungkook is definitely a workout for your body. “Jungkook, leave me alone. This is all my fault.” 
He pauses. “What do you mean?” 
You stop struggling, allowing Jungkook to hold you as you pull back enough to look away from his face. You wipe at the tears on your face. “It’s my fault anyways. I said I liked you and you said you liked me too, but maybe that wasn’t enough for you. Just because we like each other doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. I should have asked up front, so I wouldn’t get hurt in the long run.” 
“You don’t need to get hurt though,” Jungkook whispers kindly, his voice overcoming the blood in your ears, as well as your own yelling. You quiet down at that, except for your own lungs contracting to catch more air. This leaves you a hiccuping mess. He waits until he knows you’re not going to say anything next. “You’re right, okay? Jennie and I were supposed to be each other’s dates.” 
You’re still trying to catch your breath. 
Jungkook rests a hand on top of your head, curling his fingers through the strands of your hair soothingly. “Are you okay?” 
You hiccup. “Why are you telling me this? I just told you that I’m hurt right now…” 
“Shhh.” Jungkook pulls back and cups your face in his hands so you can look at him. “You aren’t listening to me. I said we were supposed to be each other’s dates. We’re not anymore.” 
You blink, allowing the tears that were already filling your eyes to fall down your cheeks. Jungkook wipes them gently with his thumb. “What?” 
Jungkook’s gaze flickers between your eyes. “Jennie and I are friends, so we’d figure it would be fun to just go together and have a person to sit with, eat with, and dance with. As friends.” 
“W-What happened then?” You ask, a watery color in your voice. 
Jungkook gives you a gentle smile, the kind of gesture that tells you that you should know the answer already. “You happened, silly.” He keeps his eyes on yours. “I saw you at the party with Jimin and invited you to come with me. I assumed when I asked that we’d be each other’s plus ones. I forgot to tell Jennie though when I asked you out.” He tilts his head at you. “You saw the texts on my phone, didn’t you?”
“I-I’m sorry.” You hiccup again. “Your phone kept going off this morning and I was just trying to put it on silent. I-I didn’t mean to look through your messages…” 
“Shh, baby, you’re good, you’re okay.” Jungkook interrupts gently, wrapping his arms tighter around you and swaying the pair of you back and forth. The usage of the nickname fills you with a new feeling, a warmer feeling. It helps calm you down. 
Your breathing eventually evens out, bringing you back to reality and to the realization that you and Jungkook are hugging in the middle of a hotel parking lot. 
Jungkook loosens his grip on you, letting you step back. He watches you for a moment. “Here,” He says, digging through his pocket and pulling out his phone. “I think you should see this.” He clicks through a few of his apps, until he seems to find what he’s looking for because he hands the phone to you. You look over at him, confusion flooding through your features. Jungkook gives you a reassuring nod. “It’s okay.” 
Still hesitant, you take the phone and look at the messages across the screen. It’s the texts from this morning. 
Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts 
Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think 
Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :) 
Jungkook (10:20AM): hey Jennie !! oh shit i totally forgot to let u know but i actually found a plus one :( i’m soooo sorry i should have told you earlier omg i feel terrible 
Jennie (10:20AM): no worries jungkook !! who is it omg do I know them? 
Jungkook (10:20AM): it’s actually Y/N? We all went to college together… 
Jennie (10:20AM): OH!!!! wait isn’t she the one Irene was working with a lot for senior projects? 
Jennie (10:20AM): OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
Jennie (10:21AM): OKAY JUNGKOOK I SEE U 
Jennie (10:21AM): she’s THE Y/N right???? the one u were in love with for our entire college career?? 
Jungkook (10:22AM): …… maybe? 
Jennie (10:22AM): WOWOWOWOW good for u Jungkook !!! glad to see u finally having the balls to ask her out !! 
Jungkook (10:22AM): OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH 
Jungkook (10:23AM): I actually felt BAD for leaving you by yourself BUT NOT ANYMORE 
Jennie (10:23AM): LMAO Jungkook I’m friends with Irene’s entire bridesmaid row i’ll be fine 
Jennie (10:23AM): just go get ur dick wet!!!!!! 
Jungkook (10:23AM): istg i will leave you on read 
Jungkook (10:23AM): also that is NOT the point!!!!!! Just wanna love my new girl :( 
Jennie (10:24AM): You’re gross 
Jennie (10:24AM): but sounds good see you tonight! 
You look up from Jungkook’s phone to see him watching you carefully, gauging your reaction, pleading for you to forgive him. 
The only thought that can be translated into a coherent sentence comes out: “You were in love with me during college?” 
Jungkook exhales in a laugh, his arms finding your waist once again. “I think ‘in love with’ was a bit of a stretch back then. I think you could agree that we didn’t know each other well enough before for me to say that.” 
You’re still looking at him. “Back then…?” You echo. 
He nods. “Back then.” He brings you closer, one hand moving up to gently brush at the skin of your cheek. “But it’s different now. Now, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m in love with you.” 
Your lips part. “You’re in love with me?” The tears spring back into your eyes, but for a different reason entirely. The emotional rollercoaster you have just been on is unbelievable. 
Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sight of your tears. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! Is that too fast? I’m sorry, I should have given you a warning or something. Or more time at least. Oh no, please don’t cry…” 
You brush him off with a watery laugh, waving his concern away. “It’s okay Jungkook. This is fine, really.” You give him a smile. “I love you too. I really thought you were pulling my leg or something.” 
Jungkook gives you his own small smile. “I’m sorry. I should have brought this up sooner about us being each other’s plus ones. Just because I assume something doesn’t mean it’s an established thing.” He brings you closer, his smile turning into a grin. “You love me too, huh?” 
You giggle. You’re too strung out to come up with something witty or clever. “Yeah…” 
Jungkook is still smiling, his gaze switching between your lips and your eyes. “I’m gonna kiss you now.” 
You nod. “About time.” 
He kisses you again, softly and sweetly, tongue slipping past the seam of your lips but it’s gentle caresses that make your heart feel like it’s crawling up your throat. 
“OH MY GOD GET A ROOM!” A voice calls from the other side of the parking lot, forcing you and Jungkook to pull away. The pair of you look at each other and you start to laugh. 
Jungkook kisses your forehead, sweeping down to your ear. “How about we check into our room and get ready?” 
You giggle, nodding over at him. “That sounds good.” 
So Jungkook leads the way, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you gather your suitcases from the car and enter the lobby. You check in easily, as Jungkook is provided a map with directions on how to reach the room. 
The pair of you don’t pull away once until Jungkook is sliding the key card into the door and pushing it open to reveal the bedroom you’ll be sharing for the night. 
Both you and Jungkook park your suitcases near the foot of the bed, as per usual. 
“Do you want to use the bathroom?” Jungkook offers. 
You nod, smiling softly. “Okay.” 
You gather the dress you’ve brought in your arms, about to enter the bathroom, before Jungkook’s voice stops you. “Hey,” He calls, approaching you and wrapping you in his arms again. He’s much more handsey this time, like he needs to make sure you’re not going to run away again, like you’re going to be okay. “You feel better now?” His thumb brushes your lips. “Your eyes are still a little red.” 
You nod. “The makeup will probably help that,” You reassure in a soft voice. 
Jungkook mirrors your movements. “Still, how about I get some ice for you so you can put something cold underneath your eyes… to stop the puffing.” 
He looks genuinely concerned and worried for your wellbeing that you can’t help but smile. Since he is insisting, you decide to just let him be. “Okay, Jungkook.” 
He smiles. “Okay! You start getting ready and I’ll get the ice, okay?” A quick kiss on your cheek before he’s bounding out of the door with the provided ice buckets. 
Your eyes linger on the door for a few minutes before you’re turning back to your suitcase. The dress you have picked is a pink flowing floor-length number—something Karly helped you pick out before leaving. It’s soft enough that it doesn’t leave crease marks along the fabric, which had made this outfit perfect for the trip. You take the dress and your bag of makeup before entering the bathroom. You’re just slipping on the dress when you hear the hotel room door open and close. 
“Okay, I got the ice!” Jungkook announces through the bathroom door. “Did you want to work on your eyes right now?” 
“Sure,” You call back. “Do you mind zipping me up first?” 
“Of course,” Jungkook returns, sounding distracting as you open the door to the bathroom. You peek your head through, noticing Jungkook opening his suitcase on the floor and sorting through it—probably for his own suit. 
He must hear the door open, because he looks up towards you. Immediately, his eyes widen as he straightens up into a standing position. “O-Oh wow…” He’s looking you over up and down, up and down, as if he needs to commit this to memory. “Y-You look great. Beautiful.” 
“Really?” You stammer back. “Thank you.” 
Jungkook keeps his eyes on you as he approaches you. “You needed me to zip you up?” 
“O-Oh right, yeah.” Hastily, you turn around, brushing the hair from your back to expose your undone zipper, and your bare back. 
You think that he purposely grazes the tips of his fingers against your skin in his process of bringing the zipper up to the top of the fabric. You’re about to turn, thank him, but his hands back at your waist do the gesture for you. “Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome. You look really pretty.” 
You pout. “You’re being too nice to me.” 
Jungkook whines, hugging you close to him. “You’re too cute.” He noses at your temple. “I just wanted to see you smile.” He pulls away after a moment. “Let’s take care of your face, yeah?” He turns around and returns with a small baggy full of ice. “Here, sit down for a second.” He leaves for a second, returning back with a towel. “Maybe… five minutes each eye. I don’t know. I’ll get ready while we’re waiting.” 
So he takes his suit out from his case and disappears into the bathroom, leaving you alone with a towel of ice pressed against your eye. The cooling sensation definitely helps with the puffiness. 
Jungkook appears from the bathroom a few minutes later—dressed in a black suit with a white button-down and a long skinny black tie. His hair has been fiddled with a little, but he still has that messy, boyish, lovable appearance that makes your heart race. 
“Did you switch the towel?” 
You nod. 
“How do you feel?” 
Slowly, you bring the towel down and rest it on your lap. You look at Jungkook. “How do I look?” 
He leans forward towards you, holding your chin gently between his fingers. “You look better. Did you need to finish getting ready?” 
“Yeah. I just need to touch up my makeup.” 
“Okay, go ahead then.” 
Jungkook takes the towel, and watches as you make your way back to the bathroom. You’re only gone for a few minutes before you’re emerging once more—eyeshadow a little darker, lashes a little closer, and lips slightly pinker, but overall still looking like the same version of the girl he fell in love with. 
The pair of you drive to the wedding venue, a cute brick building with browns, greens, and whites surrounding. Guests already swarm the outside area, some of whom you recognize from college. The sight makes you nervous. 
Jungkook sees this, and he reaches over to grab onto your hand. “You can just stick with me, okay?” He smiles. “I’ll protect you.” 
You roll your eyes, but you are thankful to have Jungkook as your source of comfort and be that person you could run back to. 
He parks and meets you at the front of his car, where you lace fingers and make your way towards the venue. You go through a small round of hellos and ‘nice to finally meet you’ conversations—most notably from Mingyu and Jennie, both of whom light up at the sight of your presence. Contrary to your previous worries, you find that you don’t really need to be so nervous. Mingyu and Jennie are friends of Jungkook’s for a reason—they radiate a relaxing nature that you can tell is what has drawn the three of them to each other. 
They ask about you, your college experience, your current experience, passing easy conversation in the ceremony space right before the start of the wedding. It’s fun to see Jungkook joking around with the friends he grew up with, and even more fun to see how easy you are allowed into that world. 
The actual wedding ceremony is a blur. You vaguely recognize the extremely attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Seokjin at the head of the aisle. You definitely recognize the equally as attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Irene, downed in white lace and looking much more beautiful than you ever remember her. Vows are exchanged, kisses are shared, there’s an applause, and pictures are taken before the guests are ushered into the main entry room—decked out with a bar and a few scattered seating areas. Jungkook whispers to you that guests are put here temporarily, as the ceremony space is being converted into a dining area. 
True to Jungkook’s promise, he lingers by your side most of the night. Although you reassure him that you are fine, you are much more emotionally stable compared to a few hours ago, and that perhaps you are okay catching up with Nayeon—another girl from college, actually someone from the first party you ever attended who defended you when you were receiving unwanted attention—but Jungkook simply tells you that he likes being around you. He likes being able to put his arm around you, likes to rest his hand at your waist, likes people knowing that he has you. 
It’s a few more minutes of conversation, of laughter, of old stories being exchanged between people you haven’t seen for years, when the guests are called back into the newly converted dining area. Instead of rows of chairs lined up, there are round tables filling the space. The long panel of doors once closed along the wall of the room have been opened—exposing a gazebo with a D.J. and a dance floor, all encircled by a string of big bright fairy lights. 
You and Jungkook are situated at the same table as most of the guests you recognize from college. You assume this is purposefully done to give you all a common ground, and it works because conversations spring easily between you all. Even when you’re not talking about your experiences from university, you’re able to transition from topic to topic. You and Jungkook occasionally talk amongst yourselves as you’re eating, but you sit together and laugh together when Irene and Seokjin emerge and listen in during the wedding toasts. 
Finally, Irene and Seokjin make their rounds through the room, stopping at the tables to cheer and laugh and exchange a few words of congratulations and conversation. Following this process, everyone at your table stands on their feet as Irene and Seokjin make their way towards you. There are bright smiles, Irene’s cheerful gasp as she takes in all the guests that have come to join her. She circles your table, hugging every guest, continuing this when she reaches you. 
Irene grins at the sight of you. “Y/N! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long!�� 
“I know!” You return, pulling away from Irene. “Congratulations. This wedding is beautiful.” 
She beams, absolutely radiating in her white dress and glittering makeup. “Thank you so much for coming! But oh my god, are the rumors true, did you really show up—!” She looks over your shoulder, and grins again. “Jungkook!” She hugs Jungkook. “I should be saying congratulations to the two of you. I was surprised to get the text from Jungkook saying that you guys were coming as each other’s dates. Gave me a whole pain because I had to switch some seats around at the last minute. But anything for my favorite people.” She turns to you and holds onto your arms. “Jungkook has had a crush on you for years, so you’re really doing him a huge favor.” 
“Okay, enough,” Jungkook interrupts, scowling. But there is still that playful look in his eyes. “Did all your friends know about this? Jennie knew something was up too when I texted her.” 
Irene presses her lips together. “Mingyu might have mentioned something.” She presses her hand to Jungkook’s cheek. “Stay safe, you guys. Hope you enjoy the rest of the night.” She moves onto her next guest. 
Jungkook is groaning. “Remind me to never tell Mingyu anything ever again.” He glares at the boy from across the table. “Gonna fling some peanuts at that son of a bitch.” 
You laugh, wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s waist. “Oh, let him be. It’s Irene’s wedding. You can get him tomorrow.” 
Jungkook pouts, but he does wrap his own arm around your shoulder. “Ah, love my girl—promoting evil behavior after festive events.” He kisses your cheek as your table takes their seats once more. 
The good natured atmosphere continues as you and Jungkook down your food, remaining fully engaged in the conversations happening around the table. After another hour of this, the DJ announces the start of the married couple’s first dance. Irene and Seokjin take to the dance floor and spin around, her white dress flowing around the room like light. Underneath the glow of the fairy lights, it looks like the couple is in an entirely new world. And you are so taken by it. 
Jungkook does not turn to you until the DJ plays a slow song—a first slow song after a series of upbeat dance and pop genres. He jerks his head towards the dance floor. “You want to dance?” 
You take his hand when he offers. “Of course.” He leads you across the room, towards the gazebo, where several other couples have moved to cling to one another. Jungkook pulls you in: one hand on your waist and the other with your own hand. “This is really nice,” You start off. 
Jungkook laughs. “The wedding, or the dance?” 
You smile over at him. “Both. Being able to slow dance with you, however, is marginally better.” 
Jungkook is quiet for a little after that. He seems content just staring at your eyes, taking in the magic of this moment. “Thank you for coming with me,” He starts. “The whole road trip thing. Definitely would not have been as fun if I did all that by myself.” 
“Well, thank you for inviting me,” You return. “Even though we had that big misunderstanding. I had a lot of fun.” 
“Hey.” Jungkook angles his head a little so he can look at you in the eyes. “You know that I would never hurt you, right? You’re too important to me that I wouldn’t even think to pull some stupid shit like that again. You know that I love you too much to do that to you, right?” 
“I do know now,” You say, gazing over at him. “And I love you too.” 
You’re not usually an expressive person. But it’s worth saying those words just to see the grin that overtakes Jungkook’s face. It’s worth even more when he leans forward, kissing you openly in front of all his friends, nibbling gently at your bottom lip, running his tongue over the wound, and into your mouth. It’s worth it to have his fingers dusting sweetly over your skin, coaxing your mouth to open to allow exploration. 
It feels like worlds pass before Jungkook pulls away, giving you that breathless smile dimple and all, before he’s leaning forward to bury his face into your neck. 
“I think the drive home will be fun,” Jungkook mutters softly. 
“Hm?” You hum, eyes closed as he presses tiny kisses along your neck. 
“Most definitely,” Jungkook says, lifting himself just enough so that his lips hover over your ear lobe. “Because I plan on fucking you in every hotel bed for the rest of the trip.” 
You feel your heart race, your cheeks heat. Yes, this was definitely worth it. 
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blzzrdstryr · 3 years
Text
Misery
Sadistic!Yandere!Diluc x Fatui Harbinger!GN!reader
Wordcount: 6748
CW: torture, sex, foul language, isolation, sensory deprivation, extremely unhealthy relationships, dubcon, mindbreak, violence
Diluc isn’t a cruel person. Not necessarily. He punishes you only when you are difficult and for the last few weeks you tried to stay on your best behavior. Ragnvindr is nice to you, benevolent even, willing to look past your former affiliations and shower you with love. At times his affections seem suffocating and irking, blood red eyes following your every movement and him absorbing your every word as if it is a holy scripture, but you remind yourself that his love is the best thing that happened to you in your whole life.
Truly, Diluc is so kind to take you in and help you fix the errors of your old ways, even when you were snarling and spitting insults in his face, too stubborn to see how wrong your old life was. You were ignorant and ungrateful back then, seeing nothing but a Harbinger title and service to Tsaritsa. You forced Diluc to lock you up to make you realize that you didn't need your title or your vision or your archon. He is there for you and it's all that matters, you can rely on him for everything and he is happy to provide, persistent in his care for you and even now he is patient with your… deficiencies, waiting when you stop staring into the distance with vacant eyes.
You stand in front of an open but barred window, a typically Mondstadtian landscape revealed to you - bright green grass and patches of dandelions and windwheel asters growing in small groups with tall trees of the same shade finishing the picture. A gentle breeze flows through the opening, playing with your hair and caressing your skin, yet you imagine another type of wind - stronger and colder, relentless and carrying small snowflakes on the way. You close the eyes and see another image - tall, leafless trees covered by multiple layers of snow and the white ground between them. Snow shines and glitters under the pale winter sun, and you feel alive and bitter at the same time.
You know the place, having been there once, but your memory now is too blurry and fuzzy. All of the events prior to Diluc fixing you up are too foggy to make out the finer details and it somehow makes you feel sad, when you should be grateful instead. Tears well up in your eyes, and you can’t make them stop, rapidly going from silent crying to full on hysterics.
You hear Diluc asking what’s wrong with a concern in his voice, his hands slightly shaking your crying form. You can’t answer him, wailing even louder and stronger, hiding your face in both hands, ashamed from the sudden outburst and overwhelmed from unreasoned sorrow and heartache. Only when Ragnvindr painfully squeezes both of your shoulders and demands to know what is wrong with you in that tone that makes you shiver and gasp, do you stop, looking at him with wide scared eyes, hands that were used to cover your face, are now up in the air in a semi defensive stance.
He seems uncomfortable by your reaction, a slight frown appearing on his face, scarlet brows knit together and corners of mouth turned downward. “I am sorry”, you say, voice small and pleading, eyes casted aside not meeting his out of embarrassment. Why did you start to act so childish out of the blue?
“There’s nothing to apologize”, Diluc takes off the glove, using an uncovered hand to wipe away the tear tracks from your cheeks. There’s no irritation in his voice, just concern, so you risk a glance at him, as he continues: “You are just making me worry”
“I am sorry” you repeat, feeling a prick to your heart, as you process his words - Ragnvindr is so good to you, providing with everything you could ever ask of, and here you are, making him concerned and anxious over some silly daydreams. “It’s really nothing, I just need to be more attentive, that’s it”
You noticed that it’s harder for you to stay in the moment as you start to frequently space out, mind too occupied by the memories of days long past - playing with peers, entering Fatui, receiving a delusion. It’s a futile thing, but images still consume all of your attention and focus, keeping you from sleeping and eating.
“[First], I...” he starts, but then trails off, huffing to mask his hesitancy. Instead of talking he takes your face in one hand and leans in, his lips meeting yours. It's a slow and gentle kiss at first, but just like all other things with Diluc it quickly escalates into something more: his hands now take you by your waist and tug you closer to him, making you press with your entire chest against him, and he deepens the kiss, his tongue freely exploring the confines of your mouth as you moan into his from pleasure and such close proximity.
When you two part, Diluc leaves you flushed and dizzy, with heart quickly pounding against the ribcage. You feel a fire of arousal igniting inside of you, it travels from your chest to belly and soon spreads to the rest of the body. Your cheeks heat up as you stand up on tiptoes to whisper “Can we do it right now?” in Diluc’s ear, voice full of both shame and anticipation.
“Of course, my dear”, there are hints of a smile in his tone and he effortlessly lifts you up and heads for the bedroom and as he carries you you can’t help but zone out again, the memories of past days flashing in your mind.
***
Your first meeting happens during one winter night, as you receive the order to deal with him day prior, at a Harbinger meeting in the Zapolyarny palace. Eleven of you stay kneeling in the main hall, awaiting for Her Majesty to come in as Scaramouche and Tartaglia start to bicker as usual.
“I bet it’s about that mysterious person who’s destroying one stronghold after the other” Childe starts, voice full of bravado and smugness, fake smile blooming on his face: “Fortunately, Tsaritsa has me to take on whatever this stranger is”.
“I wouldn’t be so cocky if I were you, Tartaglia”, Scaramouche remarks, almost spitting out the last word.
“Why shouldn’t I? I am the youngest here, yet I am also the strongest. Why are you so upset? Feeling envious of my power?” Childe retorts, voice still sounding too cheery to be natural.
“If there was anything to envy. You may be the best at fighting among us, but it’s the only thing you are good at”.
“Huh, it seems I was wrong. Maybe little Scaramouche wants to be as tall as me and that’s why he spits out his funny silly slander”.
It must have struck the nerve, as Scaramouche snaps back with an angry tirade, from which their exchange escalates into a heated battle of barely hidden insults. You, just as the rest of other Harbingers listen to their conversation, half amused and half irritated, lifting the brows at the creative mockings.
“Silence”, domineering and overpowering voice says and you still yourself, eyes casted downwards, as Childe and Scaramouche stop their exchange at the same moment. Footsteps echo throughout the hall, as a feminine figure takes its place on a high throne in the middle of the hall. Tsaritsa has arrived.
“As I can see my children already know about the perpetrator attacking my servants” archon starts, divine power and absolute authority evident in each syllable. You feel how the deity’s eyes look at all of you, despite still keeping head bowed and stance obedient.
“Innamorati”, you hear your title and lift up your gaze, ready to take whatever order the Goddess has for you.
“I entrust you with this task, don’t disappoint me”.
***
Diluc is not a coward and he never was one, but now he can’t help but feel a pang of fear, looking at your approaching form.
“Let’s test our delusions, shall we?”, you almost purr, voice soft, silken smooth and full of unspoken threat. It sends shivers down his spine, yet he still equips this cursed thing and braces himself for the upcoming battle.
There’s a stillness in your moves, a confidence that whatever Diluc has in his arsenal, you can endure and answer with something deadly in return. This dangerous calm both disturbs and excites young Ragnvindr.
He lashes out on you with a stream of accursed chains, filling the air with the sickly sweet scent of mist grass. You easily side step his attack, letting out a cheerless laugh and then come back with a cold gust, frost air currents easily cutting through his skin.
He barely dodges the attack, slowly registering the pain from injury. It’s a shallow cut and a testament to your strength, Diluc thinks, as he touches the scrape, marvelling at your speed. In the end, Diluc can’t stand against you - you’re stronger, have more experience and infinitely faster than him, bringing down one overwhelming attack after the other, a catalyst shining and glowing as you do so.
He jumps and ducks and runs, avoiding one hit after the other, yet there's only so much his body can do. Soon his limbs grow heavier and his breathing labored, Diluc slows down and that's when your attack finally strikes him. It pierces his body, pools of blood quickly forming under him.
Diluc falls down, his battered body no longer able to stand. Memories and regrets alike flood his mind, reminding him of deeds he wishes he did and deeds he wishes he didn’t. He remembers his childhood - all daydreams and high hopes, the world around him bright and friendly. He remembers his father's dying face and Kaeya’s guilt-ridden expression. He remembers overwhelming helplessness and grief transforming into righteous anger and hate.
It all seems so pointless now - leaving the Mondstadt, breaking all bonds with Kaeya or spending years in a mindless massacre, satiating his thirst for revenge by destroying one Fatui stronghold after the other, with no regard for his body or spirit. What was the point of it all, if he's still there, lying and bleeding to death, as you look down on him?
He throws, what he thinks, the last glance at the world, a strange thought appearing in his mind as he looks at you: I want them. As Diluc's consciousness fades he misses a sound of an observer's footsteps.
Later, as he gets saved by the said third party’s observer, who commented and praised Diluc’s methods, he replays the encounter in his mind, getting confused at this particular thought. Why would he want you? Maybe he wants you to die or maybe he wants to see you defeated, but in no way he sees you as desirable. In the end he blames everything on his oxygen deprived brain at the time, explaining the strange attraction he felt for you at that moment.
Having a near death experience and a taste of his own dying regrets, he decides to return to Mondstadt and as he does, thoughts about you continue to pester him. They fly around and buzz, reminding Diluc of your face, eyes and voice, of your body and skills and that terrifying speed you attacked him at. He swats them away like a noisy, annoying flies, suppressing and burying feelings deep, deep down, and naming his interest in you “a desire for revenge and retribution”.
***
Your second meeting happens once the news of a sudden Stormterror attack reaches Tsaritsa’s ears - a perfect opportunity for acquiring anemo archon’s gnosis and a new step in her rebellion against Celestia. She thinks about sending La Signora at first, as your fellow Harbinger is fast and ruthless, able to complete a job no matter the cost, but soon archon changes her mind and picks you instead. For secrecy and subterfuge, she adds, don’t disappoint me.
I won't, you promise more to yourself than her, as Tsaritsa never asks but orders. With your head bowed in deep respect and the heavy gaze of the goddess on your form, you decide that you will do your best to bring cryo archon's vision into reality. You are dispatched to Mondstadt the same week, first by ship, then by carriage. Pristine white landscapes of Snezhnaya quickly morph into bright Mondstadtian green, and you finally arrive.
Despite or maybe because of Mondstadt having almost nothing similar with Snezhnaya, it steals a breath from you for a moment - city stands on a lone isle in the middle of deep blue lake, tall windmills and bright red roofs seen from a distance, along with a giant statue of Barbatos blessing the city.
Acting Grandmaster Jean greets you, her stern blue eyes intently observing you, as she says standard Favonius salute and you return your own cliche lines - about Tsaritsa’s concern and a peacekeeping mission, empty phrases that don’t elaborate on what actually Fatui will do. She fails to suppress a frown upon hearing it, sensing your real intentions, but you pay it no mind - Jean has no way or reason strong enough to ban you from Mondstadt without causing a diplomatic conflict.
You turn on the heels after brief negotiations, heading for the Goth Grand Hotel, mind already full of plans and schemes of obtaining the Gnosis. Before you departed, Tsaritsa shared a very interesting fact to you - throughout the centuries Barbatos used only one mortal form, disguising himself as a young cheerful bard named Venti. You dispatch a couple of agents and cicin mage to look for a person fitting the description, and then turn your attention to the rest of the fatuis.
You scold Anastasia for unprofessional rudeness towards Jean. “We need to maintain a benevolent image”, you say to her, right before demoting her and temporarily sending her off to Dragonspine as a punishment. Under your rule fatuis cease sneering and belittling Mondstadt in public, lessening no doubt growing ire of locals.
All goes well, until several events happen. Stormterror attacks the city and some blonde foreigner fights off the dragon, wielding mind blowingly strong anemo powers and riding the wind, like a flying bird. Then your agents finally find a bard, reporting that “Venti" prefers to spend a considerable amount of both time and mora in two local taverns - Angel’s Share and Cat’s tail.
You don civilian clothing, heading for the former tavern and send off a couple of other disguised agents to the latter one. Now, stripped of your mask and harbinger attire, citizens stop gawking and staring at you, their eyes passing your form, as you make your way as an ordinary passerby.
No one pays you attention, as you enter the tavern, save for the strange six fingered bard at the entrance. He tries to sell you his performance, but you wave him off, heading for the bar. And here you see him again - you recognize the unknown attacker, his bright red hair and eyes betraying him the same second. Your faces mirror in recognition as a tense silence settles between you.
“So what is Fatui doing in this tavern?”he asks loudly and half of the customers stop drinking and stare at you. You sigh “enjoying” the atmosphere he created, and utter a premade excuse: “Mondstadt is known for its wine industry and the best wines are sold by Dawn Winery. It would be a shame if I left the city without tasting its finest drinks first”.
You glance at the red gem on his collar, an obvious heirloom of a famous clan: “Didn’t know that Ragnvindr heir would spend his days working as a bartender. You must be Diluc, then. Am I right?". He doesn't dignify you with an answer, preferring to wipe the glasses and serve other customers, his eyes still observing you from time to time.
You quit the tavern early, as “Venti”, as it turns out, leaves the same second he hears about your presence. You order agents to spy on him, waiting for the right opportunity to strike, that you don't get a chance to act on.
You get attacked by Diluc on your way to the Windrise tree, where according to your intel, Barbatos decided to go. He slowly pulls out his claymore and you notice a difference between old and current him.
He is calm this time, his movements lacking fervent hatred and anger that was present during your first battle. He must have gotten stronger then, if he feels so confident, entering a battle with you. Or grown foolish, your mind supplies.
You start to fight, exchanging one blow for another, as he surprises you - there's no barbed chains rushing into your direction, only an orange light fire surrounding the claymore. A pyro vision dangles on his waist, glowing and shining as he activates it's powers. You masterfully dodge his hits, shooting combined anemo and cryo attacks from the catalyst.
Suddenly you step on a burning grass, and hiss and close your eyes from the sudden pain. Diluc uses this time to disarm you, his heavy claymore crushing a delicate catalyst into small pieces. It happens so fast, that you are left speechless at the sudden turn of the battle tides.
With no weapon left, all you can do is dodge and run - you almost reach the city again. it’s walls become visible as you do your best to push your body beyond limits, fatigue weighing down on every muscle. Diluc sends a phoenix - a damn phoenix! - on your way. Fire licks your skin and scorches ends of your hair, but you manage to dodge it too - if only by a small chance - and fall to the ground, mind drifting off to the unconscious world.
***
You come up to your senses slowly and gradually; first there are sensations - a rough rope around your wrists, wet, yet rugged stone walls, then the smells, tastes and sounds - stale, musty air, a coppery blood on your tongue and a shift of a fabric, and then the images at last - dark basement and a bright red blotch, that after a time becomes a head.
There’s a man sitting beside you, Diluc Ragnvindr, your memory supplies. You feel calm and confused for a moment until you remember the fight you both had. Seems, he finally overpowered you.
“You are awake” he says, voice grim and quiet.
“It seems I am. Let me guess, you dragged me here because you want to know what this big bad harbinger plans to do?”. Control your breathing, don’t let him hear the tremble of your voice, don’t let him see the fear in your eyes.
He looks at you with an unreadable gaze and you hold his stare, looking absolutely untroubled in return, a knowing and somewhat self-confident smirk playing in your lips. No matter his status in Mondstadt, Diluc kidnapped you, one of the fatui Harbingers and a close associate of Tsaritsa. His action, no doubt, will force Fatui to severe action, an action that neither his nation nor his people will be able to withstand.
“Think bigger”, he finally says: “I don’t care what you planned to do. I already have you here, weak and helpless. No, what I want is intel on what your goddess and organization are after”.
“Oh, mister Diluc, you want to play a big game? It’s dangerous in case you didn’t know. Maybe after I tell you all of our wicked plans, you will wish you had never asked” you purr, sensing how it grates his nerves, despite him keeping his face and stance impassive.
“How so?”
“Tsaritsa is the greatest of all seven, her vision is absolute. Even if you learn of her plans I doubt you will be able to stop any of them”.
“I asked what the plans were, not what you think of cryo archon”. Diluc’s voice becomes a tone louder, the already present frown on his face subtly deepening.
“Then I am afraid you won’t get any from me”.
He suddenly gets closer to you, his hand yanking you by your head. You hiss, trying to free the bound hands, as he drags you to a nearby barrel with water by hair and then he dips you in it. You instinctively jerk in his hold, a cold water seeping in your nose and mouth as he holds you underwater. Ten second passes, twenty, thirty, you jerk again, your head throbbing and aching from the lack of air, he pulls you upwards.
You nearly black out from the abrupt change, gulping down in the air and coughing out water. He repeats his question and you deny him again. He dips you more, each time becoming a bit longer than the last, only to repeat his query. You lose how many times he lowered you into liquid, absolutely wet and shivering now, when he finally stops and ties you up to the same place you woke up to.
“We will continue tomorrow, I have business to attend to. I suggest you use this time to rethink whether you want to tell me Tsaritsa’s plans or not, as I can get much worse” He heads for the exit from the basement, as you greedily inhale the air.
“Wait”, you say, still breathing heavily: “Aren’t you afraid of the punishment? You kidnapped me, a harbinger, and then proceeded to torture me. Tsaritsa will have your head for this slight against her.”
“Tsaritsa won’t find out. Your Harbingers won’t find out. No one will find out if there’s no evidence”. He steps closer to you, his voice becoming firmer with each word.
“And how do you think you will manage to hide the evidence? You left the knights years ago, you are nothing but a businessman at this point. I doubt they will cover up for you”.
“How did..”
“Oh, Diluc, people talk and I am very, very nosy. That girl, Donna, she told so much to my subordinates about you ”, you mock her, imitating her high breathy manner: “Oh Diluc, he was the youngest captain, but then he left. I wonder why he left? Maybe the knights wronged him!”
“Honestly, with the amount of ire you subject poor knights to, only a deaf and a blind won’t know about how much you despise Favonius Order'', you continue, anger and hatred seeping into your voice.
“I still have connections”, he says absolutely nonchalantly.
“Oh, do you bribe them, then? You criticize the knights for being corrupt, yet you are willing to ask them to hide my abduction? It’s a bit hypocritical, isn’t it?”
Diluc doesn’t answer this time, finally stepping out of the room and locking the door. You sit alone in a dimly lit room, water still all over you and heart quickly beating in your chest, trying to calm down. Later, when your heartbeat stops booming in your own ears, you pray to Tsaritsa, asking Goddess to grant you strength and endurance.
***
You manage to doze off once your clothes are almost dry. The dreams you see are vague and murky, dripping with a sense of unease and anxiety, you see dark silhouettes that morph into looming shadows that later transform into phantasmagorical monsters. It must be why you wake up the same second door opens with Diluc entering the room.
He looks grimmer now, more determined. You brace yourself for his hands tugging at your hair again and lungs burning from lack of oxygen, but none of it comes. He uses a dagger to slice your clothes off, careful not to damage skin underneath. Out of pure nerves you quip some stupid joke about dining first, but he pays you no mind, his hands soon touching your bare legs and looks at them with a filthy stare, his red eyes consuming revealed flesh.
You still under his stare, heart pounding as you try to distract yourself from the thoughts of what he might do to you right now. Almost a minute passes, when he finally stops staring at your legs and begins to move his arms, caressing your inner side of the thigh instead.
You shift from the discomfort, alarmed when his palms start to heat up. He wants to burn me, you think and barely stop yourself from screaming by biting your lip. A disgusting smell of burnt flesh fills up your nose as tears start to travel down your face. He removes the hand, revealing two angry red imprints with a collection of small blisters already forming. Diluc, again, asks the same question, and just like the last time you refuse to answer.
He does upkeep his threat of becoming much worse, with his hands burning your naked body - he targets sensitive spots or joints,so everytime you shift or move they throb and burn, disturbed at the smallest of motions.
“You're not the one to think about the consequences, are you?”, you ask when he finishes, voice quiet and raspy from screaming.
"No one will find you".
"I am one of the Tsaritsa's most trusted servants, of course they will find me", you pretend you don't hear desperation in your own voice.
"Time will show", Diluc says philosophically, looking as gentlemanly as possible despite him torturing you seconds ago.
"Yes, it will", you agree with him, picturing the bastard's face once he gets thrown in prison.
He leaves the room and you allow yourself to slump, careful not to move burned areas too much, and then he returns again, this time with food and medicine. He works fast at bandaging and disinfecting the burns, seems he is as intent at patching you up, as he is at tearing you apart. As he swathes another burn, you look at the brought food.
It’s unlikely he would drug it to make you tell the truth, given that he already tortures you and he doesn’t seem to be a type to play mind games. It still could be laced with poison though, not lethal one, that would be counterproductive, but the one that can cause pain and tremors all over your body. You’ve seen such substance at work once, when Il Dottore decided to show you the fruits of his experiments - victims were thrashing and shaking on the floor once a five minute mark had been passed, by the twentieth they already admitted to all crimes, regardless of how innocent they were.
It might be even a new torture method, devised by Diluc, just to strip you from the short respite when you are not in pain. He finally looks up to you, finishing the bandage, noticing the stare you look at the food with. "It's not poisoned" he guesses your thoughts, taking a small bite and a sip to prove his words. A minute passes, then the second and the third ones, nothing happens with him, no blushing or paling skin, no wide blown or pinprick pupils, nothing. It still could be a slow acting poison, but you doubt it - they're usually harder to cure, Diluc wouldn't willingly consume it given the long list of aftereffects that remain even after antidote was administered.
Thankfully, he doesn’t stay to feed you, leaving you with food alone. It’s a potato hash browns, absolutely unseasoned and cold. You almost swallow them whole from hunger, realizing how starved you are once the smell of food reaches you. After a day(?) of fasting, satiation hits you full force, drowsiness pulling at every muscle. The tableware he brought is metallic and easily bends, so you can't smash it and use sharp pieces, nor are there any utensils to weaponize. You lay down on the side, as something falls on you. It's a stone.
Your hands take it, feeling its shape - mostly smooth with one angular protrusion. It's not sharp or pointed enough for you to cut through the bindings, but with enough time and effort it can break the rope with friction alone. You begin to work, grating the rope again and again, fighting off the sleepiness.
***
Diluc nods to Adelinde, as he returns from Mondstadt after signing the contract with winesellers from Inazuma. She understands this wordless gesture, starting to talk: “The.. guest you brought has eaten, last time I checked they still were awake. I did my best to be quiet, master Diluc”.
He dismisses her, thanking for her observations and decides to go down himself. A strange sort of fascination fills him, as he turns the key in the lock, that also prompts a burning shame that he grew accustomed to in the last few days.
It’s an awful thing, to find pleasure in another’s suffering - a trait of a heartless monster, as his father once said, but despite the chagrin he still can’t help but feel a quickening of the pulse as a pained whimper escapes your lips. It’s addicting honestly, to have you of all people, naked and trembling and helpless at his total control, when you were so close to ending his life just a couple of months ago. He supposes it's a type of karmic punishment to you, a fatui harbinger, no doubt a killer and horrible person - you deserve it, he tells to himself - you deserve it for being a fatui.
Moreover, you are not only a terrible, terrible person that deserves much more gruesome torture that he allows, you are also a source of priceless information - how many lives will be saved and avenged if you just tell him what fatuis plan to do. You are a harbinger, you are bound to know something, unlike most of the fatui.
Diluc carefully glances at you as he enters - you are still sitting in the same spot he left you in, head slumped low and shoulders relaxed. It seems you are asleep. He still makes his way to you, steps slow and quiet. Your hands are bound with rope and Diluc knows how much the rough fiber pulls and chafes at skin, grating it to the blood and ropeburns - he needs to use this short respite to quickly disinfect and bandage you again.
Diluc crouches down, as you twitch and then something aims for his head, he flinches a second too slow to dodge. You nearly manage to hit him right in the temple. His head almost splits in half from the burst of pain, vision blurry and disoriented.
You quickly stand, enduring the pain from the burns and make your way to the room. Diluc runs after you, panic and anger distorting his face in equal manner - he can’t let anyone see you like that! - but you manage to lock him in using his own keys. He kicks and thrashes the door, angry at himself for not carrying claymore with him, as something loudly collides with the wall at the other side. He hears a short surprised yelp and whimper - your whimper and the too familiar footsteps descending down the stairs- Adelinde.
“Master Diluc? Is everything okay?”, the headmaid unlocks the room, concern in her voice:”I saw.. the guest running out of the basement, so I pushed them back before other maids could see”
“Everything is fine, check on the Harbinger, I still need intel”.
Turns out, you blacked out upon the impact, a small trail of blood making its way down the head. Diluc is still angry at you, head throbbing and hurting, his hands itching to hit and burn you, but he can’t allow himself to lose control: you are hurt and he doesn’t want to kill you.
In the end, it’s all predictable, Diluc muses, you are an animal first and human second, your allegiance testament to that. He was too soft, too forgiving on you and you decided to twist his kindness like a blade in the back. His head still hurts, but he finally calms, reasoning your attack as an outlash of a mindless beast.
He carries your limp body in hands, finally taking out of the basement and takes you to one of the guest rooms at the second floor of the winery - it’s a risky move, but you injured your head and in Diluc’s experiences such traumas almost always carry a great risk - maybe you will even forget who you are and there’ll be no one for Diluc to interrogate to.
Placing your body on the bed he clasps a cuff around each of your limbs and gags and blindfolds you. After a second, he asks Adelinde for cotton and stuffs your ears full of it.
Human mind stripped of all stimuli is such a dangerous thing, tearing itself apart.
***
You wake up to darkness and silence, head slightly pulsing from pain. You lie on some sort of very soft bed, silk smooth sheets consuming and hugging most of your body as you wiggle your limbs, tugging at the cuffs.
A small wave of panic washes over you, as you remain absolutely blind and deaf to the world, but you try to remain calm, unsure if Diluc is standing near or not. The bindings on your hands are made of iron now, so you soon stop, knowing it's a futile thing. The only thing you can do is wait.
You don't know how much time passes between you regaining consciousness and the air shifting around you. Having been stripped of both sight and hearing, your other senses became a bit sharper, mind focusing on them to compensate. It's a subtle change of pressure but you still feel it, it's enough for you to guess where this person stands. Suddenly hands grope at you, touching and probing the place near burns. You would scream if it wasn’t for the gag, from pain and violation alone. It's a smaller palms, judging by sensations, they change the bandages. After whoever that was finishes patching you they leave you alone, their departure evoking both relief and sadness - they were a source of stimulations, stimulations that your mind desperately needs.
You start to tug at the bindings again - this time to procure pain, just to feel something again. You are bored, you are in pain and you are scared - not the best combination. Soon, you decide to distract yourself from ever increasing boredom with memories. Images of your past life flash and change before you - here’s you playing catch and hide and seek, here’s you receiving a vision, here’s you entering fatui and climbing through the ranks, here's you receiving delusion from Tsaritsa’s own hands and here's you battling Diluc for the first time.
I should have killed him, you think, I should have spent less time talking and more time fighting, the bastard wouldn't live to see another day and I wouldn't be here.
A strange feeling of panic settles in your bones, as you try to occupy yourself, it's subtle but never ending, slowly growing with each second. You try to daydream but you can’t, not when you are cuffed and your body burns. You try to reminisce again, but you can do only so much, memories becoming dull and repetitive. Soon, the subtle panic becomes not so subtle and you realize you are gasping and thrashing, limbs achings as you rub them against the rough shackles.
You must have blacked out or drifted to sleep, because the next time you wake up you feel a bit different - a little cleaner and more sated - they tend to me, when I am unconscious you realize. Diluc wants to limit all interactions I have.
You don't know how much time you spend there in the end, but it has a profound effect on you - at first the concept of sharing fatui plans with your captor seems nonsensical and traitorous, but after a couple of days-weeks(?) of being chained to one place with limited movement and perception, it stops looking like such a bad idea to you.
Time distorts around you, you can't tell how long you were lying there, seconds turning into minutes and minutes into hours and hours into near eternities. At one point you started to cry again, scared and panicked and then you proceeded to scream.
***
Diluc comes to you again, taking out the cotton and blindfold from your person. Your eyes hurt and your head starts to ache again from the rush of noises, and you blink a couple of times to see the man before you. A strange mix of emotions washes over you - you hate Diluc, you truly despise him with every fibre of your being, yet now Diluc is the only person you have, the only person you see. It’s so confusing and overwhelming that you start to cry, unable to process any of the feelings.
Diluc looks as prim and proper as ever, as he shushes your crying and promises to let you go if only you will tell Tsaritsa’s plans. You almost believe him, Fatui secrets dancing at the tip of his mouth, yet you hold on to the pieces of your loyalty, slowly shaking your head. He asks you again, doubt and concern in his voice. It will be better if you tell me, he says, his hand still stroking you, don’t you want to walk and see again?.
His hand stops stroking you, face turning back to stone when you refuse him for the second time. He fixes blindfold and cotton again and part of you is howling - it’s scary, so scary to be left alone with nothing but your thoughts.
This time you start to break far faster, having tasted freedom for a mere second. You break down and tell Diluc everything you know next time he visits. His hand on you feels like salvation and punishment at the same time. At the end of your confession you are too empty, all of your secrets laid before him, no place for sadness or grief left inside of you. You feel whatever was inside of you was scorched off by Diluc and it left you thoroughly burnt. Dead. Made of ash.
“My name is [First]”, you wail and howl, shoulders slightly shaking as you do. You want so much to have some human contact, to hear someone call your name for once.
It’s cathartic in a way, to tell all the secrets your mind has been bustling with ever since becoming a harbinger. He doesn’t flinch or frown when you tell what exactly you witnessed or did, intently listening to each word.
He keeps his promise and uncuffs you from the bed, but you are still not allowed to leave the room, which doesn’t really disappoint you. There are books and a small barred window that opens a view to the wineyard, a feast for the starving mind. You spend at least an hour standing at the window at first, amazed that you can see people working.
He gifts you clothes and other books, assigns a housemaid to look after you, the same one that pushed you down the stairs when you were running away, she doesn’t speak to you, preferring to avoid your gaze.
Sometimes you do feel sad - you betrayed Tsaritsa, you betrayed your homeland, you lost both vision and delusion - but you quickly shove it down, unable to process feelings properly. You know you are defeated, having seen similar behavior from fatui prisoners, and Diluc knows it too, a malice and triumph and satisfaction burning on his eyes, despite the impassive face.
He sees you as a trophy, a reminder of how he reduced the great fatui harbinger to your current condition. He orders you around and punishes when you disobey, calls it reeducation, calls it teaching you how to be a decent person, calls it a punishment for your sins. A part of you wants to retort and point out his own failings, but you stop yourself at the root, unwilling to be stripped from the world again. You comply, you suppress, you break little by little. It all pleases him.
You learn to love what hurt you the most out of pure fear.
***
“First?”, it’s Diluc, shaking you slightly by the shoulders. You snap back to reality, seeing that he already carried you to bed and undressed you.
“I am here, you can continue” you whisper as he leans down to pepper your chest and collarbone with kisses, and then hiss as he bites you.
“Mhm, that’s good,” he says, warm hands traveling down to your thighs, caressing the inner side: “Could you spread them a bit?”
You obey, equally parts scared and excited.
Truly, Diluc is the best thing that happened in your life.
Note: All fatui harbinger names are taken from commedia dell'arte. Innamorati are a couple of lovers, madly in love with each other and with the idea of being in love. I thought it would be ironic.
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cacoetheswriting · 3 years
Text
little riddle
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pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings: gossip / rumours, talk of tattoos, a lil mutual pining, mainly fluff word count: 1.9k summary: crude workplace gossip brings you and spencer even closer. 
a/n: this is a follow up to little mystery. you don’t necessarily need to read the first part, but it will give you some context/background if you do.
-
News of the friendly little tattoo bet spread through the office like wildfire. And the news of who won was like adding gasoline to the heavily burning flame considering the risqué nature of your secret ink.
The thing about rumours is they don’t always start out that way.
Half the time it is simply an overheard conversation between friends, in this case also colleagues. The snippet is usually taken out of context. Passed from person to person to person until it spirals out of control and transforms into an unverified information statement. A believable one at that.
You were no stranger to workplace gossip, and truthfully it never bothered you. People will say what they want to say. Think what they want to think. It was a useless affair to try and stop them, or change their mind. Therefore, you never batted an eye.
Until now.
The current story going around didn't just involve you. It also focused on a certain young doctor who took things extremely literally, and often to heart.
Watching people walk through the bullpen whispering to one another, pointing fingers, and giggling. That sort of behaviour made you really angry. Primarily because you knew how to protect yourself and your feelings, but Spencer didn't quite grasp the concept of a rumour.
He currently sat slouching at his desk thinking he did something wrong.
With a soft sigh, you swiftly got to your feet and ambled towards him. Gently, you placed one hand on his shoulder causing him to glance up and meet your gaze. His lips pursed into an awkward half-smile.
“What do you say we get out of here? Maybe grab a quick bite to eat?” you suggested, raising a brow.
Spencer briefly glanced between the couple of agents currently looking at the two of you, whispering to one another. He nervously cleared his throat, and proceeded to slowly nod his head.
Once he stood up, you linked your arms together, unafraid of the judgemental stares.
Spencer on the other hand tensed under your touch, under your sudden closeness, under the lingering gaze of the gossiping agents. You noticed it instantly, and leaned in slightly so that your lips were at his ear.
“Don’t pay attention to them. They’re just jealous.” you whispered with a small smile.
The young doctor huffed quietly, clearly confused. “I don’t understand. Why would they be jealous?”
“Because you’ve seen what no other person in this sad joint has seen.” you teased, hoping it would lighten the mood just a little. It didn’t.
Spencer furrowed his brows together. “You mean the tattoo? If I knew it would cause this much drama I would have kept my mouth shut.”
“Don’t talk like that, doc. I’m glad you won the bet, I’m glad you got to see the tattoo, and I’m glad it’s you and me they’re talking about.” you reassured him as best you could, waiting for the elevator.
The metal machine appears momentarily and the two of you stepped inside. It was then you let go of his arm and leaned against the wall. Spencer slid his hands into the pockets of his pants, confusion still visible on his features.
“Why are you glad they're talking about us, Y/N?”
You shrugged. “Gotta make the best out of every situation, right? Plus, doc, I’m quite flattered they think I have a chance with someone like you.” you smiled, as his eyes widened.
Nervously, Spencer twitched his nose. “I-I... You-u think ehm, you think I’m out of your league?”
You nodded. “Of course! You’re incredibly smart, unknowingly funny, and not to mention really handsome. I’d be very lucky if you even considered being with someone like me.”
The young doctor wasn't entirely sure whether you meant what you said, or if perhaps you were just trying to cheer him up. Either way, it was the confidence boost he needed. His whole body instantly relaxed and his lips twirled upwards.
“I’d be the lucky one, Y/N.” he stated, a hint of hesitation in his voice.
Blood rushed to your face at the comment. You bit down on your bottom lip and simply stared at the man ahead, getting completely lost in his golden-eyes.
-
“Do I have something on my face?” you asked while bringing one hand up to your cheek, ready to wipe any crumbs away.
The young doctor quickly shook his head. “N-no... I-I ehm, I was just thinking.”
“About what?” you pried.
Spencer swallowed his breath. “Why don’t you want to know how I found out about your secret tattoo?” he asked in a low tone, and as soon as the question escaped his lips, he looked down at his empty plate, suddenly afraid of what your answer might be.
You observed him for a moment. The honest answer was you liked the mystery of not knowing. Spencer was always full of surprises, which is one of the many things you adored about him. To you, it didn’t matter how he found out.
The young doctor however, always liked to have all of the answers and you knew the topic would continue to bother him.
Dropping your fork, you placed your elbows on the edge of the table and rested your head in the palms of your hands. “Tell you what, doctor...” you began, grabbing his attention. He looked back up at you. “How about I guess how you knew? It’s only fair, don’t you think?”
The idea seemed to interest Spencer because his ears perked up and a timid smile circled his lips.
“But I’m gonna need some sort of clue because I am nowhere near as smart as you.” you added with a smirk, and he nodded.
The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, just smiling at one another. An unfamiliar, yet unmistakably happy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as his eyes searched yours with such amity you thought you would melt into your chair at any given second.
“So,” you cleared your throat, “What’s my clue?”
Spencer pursed his lips.
You could see the wheels turning, as he took his time to think of something that wouldn’t be too hard for you to guess. He would never underestimate your intelligence, and in all honesty Spencer had a feeling you probably already had the answer, you were just giving him the benefit of the doubt. Always putting him first. He couldn’t help but chew on the inside of his cheek, containing the goofy smile the thought brought.
“It is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of the end and the end of every space. What is it?” Spencer asked, and you furrowed your brows.
“Are you seriously giving me a riddle right now?” you gawked, “That’s my clue?”
“You said not to make it easy on you,” he pointed out, and you were slightly taken aback by his sudden confidence. It was a good look on him, confidence. You took a mental note to point it out to him later.
“Touché.”
-
The riddle played on your mind the rest of the afternoon. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t interfere with your work just a little.
Leaning back in your chair, fiddling with the pen in your hand, you silently mouthed the words to yourself over and over again - trying to make sense of what the answer was.
The first to notice the contemplation spread across your features was Morgan. He approached your desk, propping himself against the item and crossing his arms. Your eyes snapped up and you immediately took note of the grin circling his lips.
“What’s on your mind, pretty lady?”
“A riddle.” you answered honestly.
Derek furrowed his brows. “A riddle?”
You nodded.
“Well, care to share? Maybe I can be of some assistance.” Morgan offered, leaning down towards you for a brief second.
“No,” you hummed, “I think I got this.”
Derek rolled his eyes, scoffing. “You and your secrets.”
The comment made you chuckle, but before you got to say anything back, Morgan continued, “I thought the mysteries ended when Elle left. The two of you always giggling and whispering to one another.”
Your eyes widened a little and you hopped on your feet. The action seemingly insignificant, but enough to alarm the man leaning against your desk.
“What?” he asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
You shook your head, a wide smile appearing on your face. “No. You said something exactly right.” And with that you were rushing out of the bullpen, in search for the young doctor.
You found him about five minutes later in the file room, too deep in thought to even hear you approach, so he just about jumped out of his skin when you walked up behind him and exclaimed: “The letter E!”
Spencer turned on his heel to face you. Palms of his hands instantly began to sweat when he registered how close you were standing to him.
“W-what?” he managed to breathe.
“It is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of the end and the end of every space,” you repeated the riddle before adding, “The answer is the letter E and the E is for Elle! Elle told you, didn’t she?!”
Spencer gaped at you for a moment, taking note of the giddy look in your eyes and the proud smile. He then proceeded to inhale a whiff of your perfume which was now overpowering all of his senses.
“Spencer, did Elle tell you?” you enquired, poking his arm, and in turn dragging him back to earth.
The young doctor quickly nodded his head. “Y-yes. She did.”
“Why? I mean… How does that even come up in conversation?” you weren’t angry, no. As far as Spencer could tell you were just curious.
“Because, uhm... She said if I-I knew something... intimate... about you...” he paused and swallowed his breath, “... I would have an easier time asking you out.”
As soon as the confession escaped his lips, he inhaled a sharp breath and waited. Waited for you to tell him you don’t want to go out with him before apologising and walking out, leaving him all alone to wallow. But that never happened.
Instead, your hand was now grasping his, your thumb gently rubbing circles into his burning skin. Spencer’s knees buckled at your touch, and he hoped you didn’t see the slight shake.
“Why didn’t you? Ask me, I mean.” you wondered, breaking the silence.
“B-because I didn’t think you liked me like that.” Spencer replied, exhaling the breath he was holding.
You licked your lips and smiled at the brunette doctor. “Well, I think you should ask me now.”
“Uhm...” he swore if his heart was beating any faster it would explode, which was not entirely impossible, “Y/N, would you- do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”
Smiling at him, you leaned upwards and placed your lips to his cheek. You kissed it gently before once again meeting his gaze, “I would love to.”
-
masterlist
spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @willowrose99, @blameitonthenight21
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4joonkookie · 3 years
Text
Gravity
(Mirror, Mirror part #2, [or not])
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⚘ Paring: Jungkook x Reader
⚘Words: 3.8K
⚘Summary:
Part 2 of the Mirror, Mirror series. All parts can be read as a series or standalone. (Standalone) - You strike a lusty connection with a sexy stranger at a concert venue. OR (Series) - Unsure about the future of your relationship, you recall the first time you meet and fuck JK.
⚘Tags/Warnings:
SMUT, flirting, public foreplay, infatuation, established relationship, non-disclosure agreement, angst, rough sex, putting on a condom is sexy?, waxing nostalgic, noona!kink, destiny, series, career woman, Jungkook takes long showers, oops there's a plot, lots of research on that 'Euphoria' harness, Seokjin cameo, commitment issues, avoidant behavior, unresolved ending, ending up to reader interpretation, just wanted to write a sex scene in the mirror and it's manifested into 4 parts.
------------------------------------------
You stand frozen in the mirror, looking at your reflection until it fortunately steams away from Jungkook’s hot shower.
Quit your stupid job. Please. Stay with me. And you don’t need to have an answer. But we have to talk about it.
You could be predictable and do exactly what Jungkook thinks. You can leave.
Or. You could head to the kitchen, start a pot of coffee and unpack your bags.
Memories flood your mind, keeping you still.
-----
The thousands of seats in the stadium are empty but ample employees work through set-up and dress rehearsal for the concert happening tonight.
You stand on the stage watching the staff secure a performer to the platform harness, tightening a cable around his waist. They shuffle to finish and take steps back to watch the man be lifted, hung and swayed above the stadium seats.
This is the last item on your agenda today before you can head back to the hotel and rest for an early flight tomorrow.
The performer is slowly lowered down to the stage.
Working for these large venues means traveling, living in hotel rooms and keeping you too busy to take advantage of endless complimentary show tickets. Most of them go to waste or are given away . A “friend” (one of the many that come out of the woodwork depending on what show is in their city) casually asked about tickets to this particular concert. You told her the stadium is sold out but you had 2 tickets and weren’t planning on using them.
Your ears still ring with the high-pitched shriek she wailed into the receiver.
When the man lands safely back on the stage, you approach him. “How is it? Does it feel okay?” you say, in your best client - friendly voice as he steps off the device.
“Do I have to wear the wrist harness?” He rubs where the looped fabric has reddened his skin.
“It kind of burns.”
You scrunch your face before replying. “Yes, you have to wear the harness. It’s a liability if you don’t.” you say, matter-of-factly.
“A liability.” It’s not clear if he’s parroting you or asking a question.
“Right,” you nod. You signed a contract.”
“I did?” his hand on his chest, genuinely surprised.
“Well, someone did,” gesturing to the plentiful staff of his company.
“What does it say?”
“It says the stadium isn’t responsible for anything that happens to you if you don’t use the moving platform as recommended, I.E. with the wrist harness.”
He doesn’t reply. “Sorry.”, you add. Just trying to keep you and your 5 friends safe.”
“6,” he corrects you.
“6 What?”
“There’s seven of us. Me and 6 friends.”
You quickly apologize, realizing you may have come off rude and too eager to leave. You have no idea who he is but he’s not the first diva you’ve dealt with. You turn on the charm and start sucking up to the talent, as your job often requires.
“But if the fabric of this one is too rough on you...,” you briefly rub your hand over the reddening skin on his hand. “I think I have one in a different material that’ll be gentler on your skin.”
He laughs shyly and smiles. It wasn’t your intention to flirt but his reaction made it feel like you were. It makes him seem a little young.
“It’s ok.” He laughs again, containing a smile. “It’s not too rough,” eyes glancing at your lips and moving to your eyes. The wind blows his dark hair over his face but you can still see his eyes. His near smolder throws you off, causing you to dart your own eyes down.
“Are you sure?” feeling blood rush to your chest and face as the distance between your bodies begins to close.
“Yes.” He thanks you by name after quickly getting a glimpse at your name badge. “Is that your job? Making sure everyone is safe?” Embarrassed by your initial touch, he seems more confident now.
“Sort of,” you reply shortly.
Really, your job is to prevent the venues from being sued. Charming (and albeit, sometimes flirting) with talent is part of the job, so, you’re not sure why this random has such a pull on you. Or why your palms are sweating and your mind is going foggy.
“Wait here,” you instruct.
He nods and you jog to an equipment room backstage to retrieve another wrist harness. This one is made of silicone instead of fabric. You hurry back to him and worry you’re out of breath when you return.
“Here.” You pull the moving platform to you, stepping on your tiptoes to unhook the fabric loop. He holds out his hand to take the new one from you. You offer it and he easily reaches to hook it on, making you feel small as you return back to your flat feet.
“Hopefully, it’s a bit gentler for you,” you tease, taking some advantage of his bashfulness.
“Thank You.” He smiles. Your bodies are closer now and you can feel his breath.
Swallowing, “Do you want to try it.?” Soap and cologne fill your nostrils.
“Try what?” keeping his lips parted, eyes searching your face.
“The harness.” You pull the still-hanging platform and hold your foot down on the device so he can step easily onto it again. He raises his arm above his head and you loop his hand through the strap. You pull the belted cables and secure them tightly around his waist, feeling rigid muscles under his oversized t-shirt. He winces when you snap the belt closed.
“Speaking of rough,” he scolds, looking down at you, the world closing in quickly on you both.
“Safety first.” One of your feet between his, holding him down to the stage on the small platform. You could’ve had staff do it but eliminating this closeness seems wrong. “Ready?” you say, hands hanging from his belt.
His eyes peek down at your lips again. “Ready.” You step off the platform and give a thumbs up to staff working the cables above the stadium. They pull him for a few laps, flying around, giving you a moment to compose yourself.
When he lands, you replace your foot between his. “Better?” you ask, rising to your tippy-toes to unloop his wrist, letting your fingertips graze on the top of his hand.
“Better,” he replies, smiling ear-to-ear now. You wrap your arms around his waist again to remove the cables.
Behind him, a group of men huddle together at the end of the stage, conspicuously giggling and immediately stopping when your eyes find them.
“Are those your 6 friends?” you question, as you unhook the belt, embarrassed that you acted as if you were alone.
He steps off and rolls his eyes, endeared. “That’s them.”
“Ok.” You rub your face, trying to coax yourself back into reality. “You’ll let me know if you or your friends need anything?”.
He nods respectfully and thanks you by name again.
“You’re welcome.” You offer a wave and turn to slink away. You cringe when he calls you again. You turn to find a sheepish grin on his face.
“Do you know my name?” he asks with a knowing look.
You try to be casual. “No, I don't. You don’t have a name badge like me.” You take another step forward, being pulled in like a magnet again, onlookers be damned. “I’m sorry. I don’t know who you or your friends are. Will you forgive me?” looking up, controlling the urge to pout at him.
He scrunches his nose. “It’s ok. Kind of makes me feel normal.”
Funny, he seems normal to you. Your faces are too close to call this any kind of “schmoozing” or “sucking up” but you can’t drag yourself away.
“Your name?” scanning him from head to toe.
He crooks his mouth and inhales sharply. “I don’t know, I kind of like it this way.” He leans in closer, voice getting lower. “Is there somewhere we can go?” tongue running over his cotton-candy lips. “I promise to introduce myself.” He's painstakingly bold now and not a second too soon because you’re practically putting on a show, center stage. “Or is that a liability too?” he teases.
“I guess that depends on how rough you plan on being,” you taunt back and he exhales a breathy moan. “Follow me.” He takes your hand and you lead him to the office buildings in the stadium, empty on a Saturday.
“Is this part of your job too? Seducing singers?” he asks, as you approach the glass doors. You stop in your tracks before inserting a key into the lock of the building.
“I am NOT seducing you.” Reflecting on the last few minutes, you hardly believe it yourself.
He raises an eyebrow at you. “And no,” you continue. “I’ve never done this before.” You insert a key in the lock and turn your wrist.
“So, why me?” a hand still clasped with yours.
“Still figuring that out,” you reply, opening the door. “I’d hate for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you, do you want to stop?”
He pulls the door open. “No.” gesturing for you to walk inside. You hardly make it in before he pins you to the wall right away, hooking his index fingers in your belt loops.
You look at him closely. “How old are you?”
“You first,” he says with a sly smile.
“Old enough.” You give him a playful shove.
Looking at him long again, “20.” you guess, sounding confident.
He grips around your waist. “How do you know that?”
You look up at him, thoughtfully. His lips are millimeters from yours. “Just a feeling,” you whisper. His lips finally press against yours, soft pecks at first. You breathe each other in and your mouth opens to him when he lifts a hand to the back of your neck.
He slots his legs between yours, heatedly pushing you harder against the wall. His lips move to your neck and both pairs of greedy hands squeeze and tug at each other's bodies.
Unfazed by still being visible through glass doors, you slip your hands under the belt of his pants to give his ass a squeeze and push his groin more roughly against you.
It gets more desperate, both of you panting and sweating through your clothes, still against the wall. He lifts up your shirt to grope at your breasts when you hear the speakers.
“Jungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk, let’s goooooooo! We need to get ready!”
You peek out of the glass to see two other members shouting for Jungkook into hot microphones. He lets out a heavy sigh and kisses you hard again.
“Jungkook ,” you whisper. Like a prayer falling from your lips, naming the pull of his gravity.
He looks at his watch which prompts you to look at yours. 5 o’clock.
“I have to go. Can I see you later? Are you busy?” still panting and pressed against you.
“Aren’t you?” running fingers through strands of his chocolate hair.
“Later, later. After the concert, 10 or 11. “You’re staying for the concert?”
“Yeah,” you lie.
His name still blares over stadium speakers. He groans and pushes his forehead to yours. It’s a relief that he feels stuck to you too.
You begin to offer, “I have a hotel nearby, you can…”
He laughs. “Sorry, I can’t really do that. Can I have your number? I’ll have my lawyer find you tonight.”
“What?” you ask, confused.
“You know… liability and legal stuff.” A hundred voices tell you to end this right now. And one voice has you unhooking a pen hanging from your name badge and listing digits on his hand.
He plants one more kiss on you and just like that, he’s gone. You let your back slide down the wall until you’re sitting on the floor, taking a moment before you head back to the hotel to change clothes, put on your staff badge to blatantly take advantage of your job and enter a concert you don’t have tickets for.
You re-enter the stadium without suspicion and blend into the standing room. Any sense of nervousness disappears. You lose yourself in the magic of the show and his talent on stage, now done up and dressed in almost a costume. Still beautiful.
At intermission, a stranger in a suit calls you by name and introduces himself as the lawyer. You walk into an empty office as the stadium still buzzes. He talks and talks and talks. Then, he takes out a stack of paperwork, a non-disclosure contract.
You sign in about a hundred places. You know better, you should be taking time to read and sign carefully but your mind is fogged with the idea of getting your hands back on him, whoever he is.
“Ok. You’re all set,” the lawyer says, after a final signature.
“What happens next?” wondering when you reap the benefits of signing your life away.
“He’ll be in touch, I guess.” The lawyer shrugs and you walk him to the arena exit.
The concert ends and you head to an office to wait, unsure if you should leave the stadium.
Finally, a message from an unknown phone number with an address and hotel room appears on your phone screen. A knot forms in the pit of your stomach. You feel compelled to tell someone where you’ll be going only to remember that you signed an NDA that forbids just that.
You try to reply to the number and an error message immediately returns. “Sender not available”.
What the fuck. You stop and take a deep breath. This could be dangerous and now it’s going beyond “sexy” danger. You try unsuccessfully to convince yourself to stop thinking with your genitals and about the sexy stranger you needed to finish that kiss with.
It doesn’t feel real. You open an internet tab and search his name.
What a mistake. All the blood in your body floods to your core, knowing this man was potentially waiting in a bed for you makes your mind even hazier. Before you can catch up to your thoughts, you rush to your car to drive the short distance to the hotel.
Silent security guards escort you through the lobby and up the elevator. When the doors reopen, Jungkook has his back propped against a wall, expecting you. His hands are in the pockets of sweatpants. He doesn’t look like he did on stage anymore. Not like the pictures. His freshly showered and bare-faced appearance disarms your anxious mind.
“I’ve narrowed down who you are,” you start. “You’re either a big deal or an axe murderer.”
He laughs. “What if I told you neither is true?” He pulls you close by your waist and places a quick kiss on your lips. It’s too casual, like some muscle memory you never knew you had.
“The paperwork? The spoofed phone number?” you gently scold, as he leads you to a door in the hallway.
“You still came,” he says, opening the room door.
“Yeah, what does that say about me?” walking in ahead of him and taking a moment in self-deprecation.
“That you want to finish that kiss as much as I do,” door closing behind him.
You smile to yourself as you face away, heart fluttering at the notion that his idea mirrored yours. You turn to approach him.
“It was a little more than a kiss,” you flirt, placing your arms around his neck.
“Yeah…” his hands wrap around your waist again and his lips hungrily find yours. He bites gently on your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you.
“Sorry if that’s a little rough,” he teases, taking his mouth to yours again letting his hands roam. He adds: “I promise i’m not ‘axe-murderer’ rough,” he chides, and you both giggle between kisses. You sink into the familiar and comfortable space, regardless of being actual strangers . You lift off his shirt, eager for what you felt earlier, running hands gratuitously over his chiseled chest and abs.
“Do you want a drink or…” he’s graciously offering between kisses.
“No,” breaking your lips just long enough to reply, knowing he’s got exactly what you need right now.
Clothes are tossed in the air and landing on the floor before he lays you on the bed and the heated pace slows. He mounts on top of you and places slow kisses down your neck and chest while lowering the straps of your bra and kneading your breasts beneath the fabric. He takes nipples into his mouth, warm tongue circling, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your encouraging hands, tangled in his hair.
He moves to your mouth again, offering his tongue, slow but deep. He pulls your panties around your ankles and allows the palm of his hand to slide against your thigh before he can reach his thumb to stroke between your folds, causing you to shudder. He sucks at the tip of his thumb and moves his hips to push his still clothed cock against your center. You wrap your legs around him, urging him closer, needy for his friction.
“Be back,” he says, leaving a peck on your cheek. He walks to a bag on a nearby table, rustles through and retrieves a condom. You sit up on the edge of the bed as he struts back to you. He presents the foil square between 2 fingers. You peel it open, looking up at him. The back of one of his hands strokes your cheek while his other lowers the waistband of his boxer briefs, revealing himself. You instinctively grip his shaft to plam slow strokes along his length and take pleasure in watching his eyes roll back.
You release your hand to pull the condom from it’s open wrapper, place it on the tip and use 2 hands to roll it down to the base before discarding the wrapper on the nightstand and pulling his underwear to the floor.
Leaning down to kiss you, he asks, “What do you want?”
You search for the words but opt to stand and silently guide him to sit back on the bed. He’s satisfied to follow your action as you straddle his lap and use your hand to brace his hard cock on your swollen center, rubbing up and down, slicking the rubber further. You guide yourself onto him, digging your nails into his shoulders slightly when you feel how he spreads you open, stretching and adjusting.
He groans when you reach the base, pushing down on your hips and shifting beneath you, getting deeper and widening your stretch. You whimper and squirm as you adjust.
“Too rough?” he teases.
“Not at all, '' you say, lifting your hips again and meeting the base faster. He pushes you down again, lifting his lap up.
“Good,” he breathes out, shakily.
You create a rhythm with your legs lewdly spread and circle your lower body, his shaft grinding against your sensitive walls, encouraged by his quickening breath.
His eyes are glued to your hips, watching them move. He slams you down a little harder, testing you. You both grunt when he meets the hilt.
You encourage his hand on your center, placing his hand on yours and setting the speed for him. He takes the cue and continues on his own, watching your face. You drop your head to his neck. He lifts you by your chin. “Let me see you.” The sensation is too much, and you're embarrassingly close. He quickens his pace below you, your own hips hardly moving anymore. You look down, entranced by his fingers. He uses his free hand to tug back on your hair.
“I said let me see,” you pulse around him at the words, a delighted smile on his face as he watches.
Still inside, he flips you on your back and buries himself balls deep inside you with an audible slap, bed rocking at the motion.
“Too much?” he sounds sincere.
“More,” you reply, challenging him anyway. He thrusts hard into you again with a sinister grin and keeps his pace, watching diligently as you take all of him. You whine at his deep strokes and he pins your wrists above your head, rendering you helpless as the pressure coils again at your center.
His grunts get lighter, whinier as he grips your wrists tighter.
“Fuck, Jungkook,” you curse, and grope at his tensing ass cheeks when he comes. His thrusts become slow and shallow before sliding out of you. He takes a moment to lay his head on your chest before pulling and tying the condom off, tossing it.
He collapses beside you so you’re shoulder to shoulder and you fall into conversation, for too long and too late but you both delight in it, taking in more of each other.
“When can I see you again?” he asks as you prepare to leave, sunrise peeking through the curtains.
You’re a little surprised. The circumstances had you assuming this as a one-night thing.
“What do you mean?” you ask, unsure.
He gives you a suspicious side-eye. “Can I see you again?”
You attempt to shake down the guard you have up and smile at him.
“When?” you question, as his gravity pulls you back to the bed where he lies.
You lie side by side and compare schedules. It would be the first of hundreds of times you do this, comparing calendars and forcing your lives together.
You’re not sure when you stop forcing it but it’s happened. Now, 3 years later, you’re frozen at a fork in the road, torn to make a decision, knowing you can’t continue to drag him through your hesitation. You pick up your bag and head to the front door.
This first memory and a million others flood your thoughts.
When you saw him for the second time, weeks later, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. You remember his flattered, cheeky smile.
The time you both got food poisoning and shared the bathroom floor for 3 days.
Surprising him backstage one night and sucking him off before a performance. His face was priceless.
The time he was so exhausted from touring he just slept for the 15 hours you were together. And you contentedly watched until you had to part again.
Taking a spontaneous flight just to get tattoos.
When you told him you loved him on the plane. “I love you.” The words slip out effortlessly, you don’t even remember what you were talking about. He’s pleasantly surprised and almost proud that you say it first. He reciprocates your words and seals it with a kiss on your forehead. “I love you too.”
Playing domestic during quarantine and settling into a chosen family when the world comes to a screeching halt.
The look on his face when he fucked you in the mirror last night.
His disappointed face before he got in the shower today.
You don’t notice Seokjin until he speaks, passing by you on his way to the kitchen.
“Leaving, noona?”
You don’t respond, still facing the closed door.
“Do you need help with your bag?” he’s walking up to you now.
“Noona,” he places a hand on your shoulder. “Are you going?”
Part 3/4 HERE
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onlymexsarah · 3 years
Text
Jealousy || Jesper Fahey
Request: "hey i saw your requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something with jesper? maybe with him being jealous of everyone that flirts with the reader or something like that lol, i just want jealous jesper. you are amazing btw i love your kaz’s stories!! <3"
Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader
Warning: just flirt and my english :)
A/N: Thank you sweety! I'm so happy you liked it, and I hope you are gonna like this too! I'm sorry if it's short, but I have to admit I've never written something about Jepser nor I've never thought about him in that way, and it was a funny challenge, hope you'll appreciated what I've written❤
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Working for Kaz Brekker meant that your life was in danger six days on seven when the luck was on your side, but that didn't stop you from having fun.
Not only you were part of the dregs, but you also were Nina's best friend, and that meant that no woman and no man had any chance to say no to you, not when you flirted with them.
It wasn't a secret that you loved fun, and just like Nina and Jesper you loved having people's eyes on you. Kaz knew that the three of you could easily flirt your way out from any trouble if needed to.
"Green or red?" you asked Nina with two dress in your hands.
"Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Definitely green." she answered without looking, she was too focus tailoring her makeup in the mirror.
From the high of his ruthlessly, Kaz Brekker had given to all of you the free night, and you had decided to go out with your friends and have fun.
"Still try to make Jesper admitting his feelings?" asked Nina while you brushed your hair.
"Jesper is Jesper, he flirts with everyone. If he doesn't a move, then there is an entire city that is waiting to do it." you said with more confident than you felt. Jesper Fahey was the boy who had fucked up your mind since the beginning, with his witty remarks and his flirty personality, you had fell for him as a kruge fell in Kaz's pocket.
You didn't want to have to go and console yourself with strangers, but at the same time you couldn't wait Jesper forever.
Nina chuckled helping you with your hair and then walking with you downstairs. "Let see if we can find a worthy partner for you, Y/n."
They reached Matthias and Jesper outside the Slat; you had the suspect that Inej would have stayed sat on Kaz's window all night keeping him company.
Matthias had to shut Jesper's mouth when you girls arrived. He was devouring you with his eyes and the Fjerdan couldn't hold a smirk.
Damn it. Did you plan to seduce all Ketterdam that night? Because he would easily surrender at you.
When you approached he composed himself. "I can't decide if you look amazing in that dress or if you'd look better without it."
He winked and saw a little blush on your cheek, but if you were shy you hid it very well with a sly smirk. "I guess you're gonna have to see yourself."
"It's a primise then." he said before the four of you started walking around the streets of Ketterdam.
Your relationship had always been like that. Jesper couldn't deny that his comments had become more true and spontaneous, he couldn't help it, and it was hilarious for the people around you, because it was oblivious how you both felt toward each other for everyone but you.
"Love, I don't think we can afford a table here." Matthias said to Nina once they stopped in front of one of the most fancy pub in Ketterdam.
"Leave me and Y/n deal with that." she winked taking your arm with hers and bringing you at the counter where the owner, a beautiful Kaelish woman, stood.
Jesper stayed at the door with Matthias looking you and Nina flirting with the woman. He saw how her eyes were on you while you giggled and smiled at her. He couldn't hear what you were saying, but it seemed that it was working because now the woman had her arms rested on the counter, her face close to yours.
"Hard, isn't it?" asked knowingly Matthias beside him. "See the girl you like flirting with someone else and obliviously being reciprocated."
"They are Nina and Y/N, they always do...that" Jepser said waving his hands in the air to point you girls. "You are the one who find it strange."
"Maybe you are right, but it's one of the things I love about her. But still, it's not a shame admitting you are jealous...I am too."
He didn't have time to answer that you and Nina arrived with two huge smiles on. I am not jealous. "Guess who has a table as a gift of the house?"
"We do, don't we?" asked Jesper excited.
"Yes! Come." you said taking his arm and bringing him at the table with Nina and Matthias behind you.
"You have to thanks Y/n, she did all the work. The owner couldn't take off her eyes from her as she talked." said Nina smirking as Jesper shifted on his seat.
"I was lucky she liked my accent." you waved your hand in the hand as it was nothing.
Nina chuckled. "More like she wanted to hear you moaning with your accent in her bedroom."
Jesper and Matthias choked themself with their drinks while you started laughing. "At least my beautiful accent gave us a table and free drinks."
You enjoyed the night, drinking and dancing. Jesper knew that people flirted with you everyday, but he thought that someone was pranking him that night. Every time he turned around someone was talking with you, making you giggle or blush. He was getting crazy.
Couldn't they just...walk away?
He moved closer to you at some point and took you into a conversation everytime he saw someone approaching.
You noticed that something annoyed Jesper, but you couldn't figure out what. You all were having fun, even if with your disbelief he hadn't danced with anyone but you. Was he ill?
"I'll go and take two drinks, stay here dove." he said in your ear walking away and disappearing behind the crowd.
You stayed there for while when a young man of few years older than you approached smiling. "You must be the star of the night because no one is shining like you."
You tried your best to not laugh. "And you must be in the wrong place, the circus in on the other side of the city."
"Ouch, pretty and quick-witten. A letal combination." he said amused.
You shrugged. "What can I say, Ketterdam made me."
You two kept talking about silly things keeping the flirt in the air. He was the one more eager, you were just waiting Jesper but the company of a pretty man wasn't bad at all.
You were laughing at one of his joke when an arm took your waist and squeezed you. "Piss off dude, she is with me."
You watched Jesper with widened eyes as he burned the man with his eyes.
"She didn't seem so to me." said the man annoyed.
"Well sorry to disappoint you. Now go away if you don't want trouble."
"Jesper!" you didn't know what was happening. You had been talking with people all night and he hadn't said a word, so why now was different?
"It's fine, I'll go." you and Jesper remained alone and he looked like nothing happened.
"Drink?" he said offering you one glass.
You shoke your head astonished and walked away toward the door. You needed fresh air and stay as far away as possible from him.
"Y/n!" you heard his voice behind you but you didn't care. What was wrong with him? He had never had such behaviour in none of your nights out. "Y/n wait!" He followed you outside, the drinks forgotten somewhere inside. "Tell me what's wrong."
"What was that?" you asked crossing your arm in front of your chest.
"What was what?" he said confused making you rolling your eyes.
"You were...rude. You had no reason to threat him like you did."
You could see in his eyes that he didn't know what to say. He looked for an good lie but it was hard under your inquisitors eyes. "Y-you were suppose to be with me!"
"So? That never stopped you from finding other partners." you raised an eyebrow obliviously.
He gave a quick look around, as if something could help him, but when his eyes fell on you again he knew he had to tell the true otherwise he could loose you.
"I was annoyed, alright? All those people flirting with you, saints I couldn't even turn around a moment that someone had already approached you." he agitated his hands in the air while you widened your eyes.
"Why should it bother you anyway?" you asked defensive.
He looked at you astonished, as if you were asking why the water was wet. "Because I like you! Hadn't been oblivious enough these past months?!" Now your mouth was a bit hopen, speechlees. He seemed to notice what he had said after few seconds. "Oh...it would be too late saying that it's not true, wouldn't it?"
You nodded quickly. "Yes, definitely too late."
"Well, you weren't suppose to find out like this. I had planned something like a date, maybe with some candles and a good view, but I guess that in front of a pub in the Barrel sounds fine too." he tried to joke shrugging while you were still processing his words.
"You are still in time, the night is not over for that date." you sounded casual but you couldn't hold your smile while you said it.
He looked at you surprised before smiling like a child. "Let's tell Nina and Matthias we are leaving then."
You walked inside the pub, both smiling like idiots, before you felt a hand on you wrist that turned you around and a pair of soft lips on yours. Jesper was kissing you while he kept you close with his right hand on your waist and the other on your cheek, and you didn't think twice about putting your hands behind his neck.
"I have to make sure no one will flirt with you again tonight." he said seductively with a smirk a few inches from your mouth making you blush.
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cursestothemoon · 4 years
Text
Dimly-Lit Corners and Dark Corridors
Requested: yesss
Harry Potter x Fem!reader (house not specified)
Warning: suggestive themes (nothing overtly sexual), kissing, awkward Harry, mentions of scarring (Umbridge) 
Word Count: 2773
alright this one is really cute and harry is so awkward and sweet and dorky and just 🥰 but yeah i really like this one
✧✧✧
Harry was with Hermione as they returned books in the library. Really, Hermione was putting the books back whilst also complaining about Ron, and Harry… well Harry was just there for moral support.
“Was I under the impression that he and I would be attending Slughorn’s Christmas party together? Yes. Now, given the circumstances, I’ve had to make other arrangements.”
Harry was surprised to hear this, to him the solution was obvious really, “Have you?”
“Yes,” Her look was defensive. “Why?”
“Well I just thought, seeing as neither of us can go with who we’d really like to, we should go together as friends.”
Hermione groaned, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Who are you going with?” Harry was now extremely curious.
But as Hermione started talking, something about not being able to tell him just yet, Harry’s attention had been stolen. His eyes followed after the group of girls a year older than him and Hermione that had just walked into the library, conveniently sitting at the table closest to the aisle he and Hermione were in. It wasn’t the whole group that had a hold on his focus, no, just one girl that happened to be the center of the group. Harry felt his stomach erupt in the most ridiculous butterflies as he watched Y/n L/n throw her head back in laughter. Time seemed to slow as he watched her smile, hair cascading down her back and Harry couldn’t help but think of a hundred and one scenarios of him, her, and his hands running through her-
“Harry!” Hermione hit his shoulder with a book.
“Ow, Hermione.” Harry grumbled, hand going to rub the area on his shoulder that was sure to form a bruise.
His eyes shot over to Y/n, praying she didn’t see the embarrassing exchange before he turned back to Hermione, luckily she was still giggling at something her friend was saying to notice the assault.
“What was that for?”
Hermione laughed, “If you like her so much, just talk to her.”
“You say that like it’s easy, Hermione.” Harry sighed.
Y/n L/n had appeared on Harry’s radar last year. She had come to DA meetings with her friends and was exceptionally good at most defensive and offensive spell work. She was friendly and funny and incredibly beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was beyond just her looks. Harry was sure if she had walked into a room full of strangers everyone would turn to look, it was late one night when Harry decided to call it her ‘aura’. Even so, Harry had been so stressed about DA meetings he didn’t really develop a crush on her until one day he had gone to help Fred and George with a defensive spell and they were standing with her mid conversation. It was quite clear that Fred had been putting all the moves on her, George going about it with more of a subtle approach, yet Harry noticed she was nothing but friendly. And when he walked up to them, Y/n had turned to him with the most dazzling smile and a gentle hand to his bicep. Harry definitely understood why Fred was so grumpy when he was rejected after the meeting, but Harry also had never been able to produce a patronus so easily the next meeting when he saw Y/n again, Fred free.
From then on Harry swore no one could hold a candle to her, he was sure veelas were created with Y/n L/n as inspiration. Ron definitely made fun of him for his more poetic bouts of professing his love to an imaginary Y/n that lived in his dorm. To say Harry was less than smooth when talking to Y/n was an understatement, so he’s resorted to avoiding most interactions with her.
“It is that easy. People are calling you ‘The Chosen One’ she’s probably just too shy to talk to you herself.” Hermione said, bringing him out of his thoughts again.
“That’s not true.”
“Think about it, Harry. It seems like all the girls this year are trying to go after you. Like…there, see that girl over there?” She asked, subtly motioning to a girl with curly hair on the opposite side of the room.
Harry nodded.
“That’s Romilda Vane, I overheard her and some other girls in the bathroom. They were planning how to slip you a love potion.”
“Really?” This was all news to Harry.
Hermione scoffed, “She’s only interested in you because she thinks you’re the chosen one.”
“But I am the chosen one.”
He received another hit to the shoulder, the same book and girl the cause of his pain.
“Right, sorry.”
“All I’m saying is, you could use it to your advantage.” Hermione suggested.
Harry grumbled again, “I doubt she cares, Hermione. She hasn’t tried to slip me anything, we barely talk.”
“You barely talk,” Hermione turned to put a book on a shelf. “Because you don’t try to talk to her. You can’t expect her to just fall to your feet, she seems like she knows her worth and isn’t going to beg you to date her.”
“It wouldn’t be...falling at my feet… it would be showing interest.” Harry said matter-of-factly.
Hermione shook her head, “Boys don’t understand anything.”
“Well, I wou-” Harry let out a grunt as his back hit something.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
Harry turned around so fast he almost tripped, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline as he heard Y/n’s voice behind him. She was standing with both her hands out, one holding his bicep the other on his chest to steady him.
“Y/n, I didn- you- how are- what’s me? No, I mean, what’s up?”
He was certain Fred had been smoother and he got rejected, he had no chance. But he perked up at the sound of her giggle, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.
“I’m alright, Harry. I just wanted to come say hi, you know since we haven’t talked much after meetings last year.” Her face started to glow an ethereal pink as she talked and Harry felt his jaw start to hang open just slightly.
“Oh, yeah, yeah, how’s everything been, then….with you?” Harry stuttered.
Y/n smiled, hands now back at her sides, “I’ve been good, missed the D.A., ya know? What about you, Harry, have you been alright with everything?”
“Oh, yeah, great, fantastic. I am the chosen one. Wait! No, I didn’t mean like- I don’t know why I said that.”
Y/n nodded and let out a chuckle at the way Harry fumbled.
“I’ve heard. Good on you for finally getting the Prophet to listen. Anyway, I shou-”
“Go to Slug Club with me.”
Hermione couldn’t hold her laugh at the confused expression on Y/n’s face, or the completely mortified look Harry was sporting.
Harry calmed himself before clarifying, “Professor Slughorn has these...parties, and he told us to bring someone along for the Christmas party. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me… to the party?”
“Oh-”
“You don’t have to, it’s alright, really. I’ll ju-”
He was cut off by Y/n putting a hand on his shoulder as she spoke, “I’d love to go with you.”
“Brilliant!” Harry smiled, day suddenly brighter and mood better.
She then turned to Hermione and asked if she’d be there too, to which Hermione responded with a grumbled ‘unfortunately’ before bringing a smile back to her face to tell Y/n she would be excited to see her.
--
Harry was beyond nervous, his palms were slick with sweat and his hair was far from as tame as he would’ve liked. The Christmas party was in an hour and he had to meet Y/n in half, his nerves were on fire at the thought of being with her all night. Of course, he’d have to talk to her and she’d walk in with him with her arm in his. Or was that too cliche? Would she think of this as a date? Was it a date? Harry knew he wanted it to be a date, Merlin, did he want it to be a date.
“You’re thinking about it too much, mate.” Ron piped up from his bed.
“But is it a date?” Harry asked, turning to Ron.
Ron shrugged, “Sure it is.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure. You’re a bloke, she’s a girl, you guys are going to a Christmas dinner. Yeah, I’d say it’s a date.”
This didn’t help Harry’s nerves, but an idea flashed through his mind as his eyes skimmed over his trunk.
“Maybe I should drink the liquid luck? Get lucky.”
Ron gave him a suggestive look that made his cheeks heat up, “That’s not what I mean. I ju-”
“If you got her to say yes without the stuff, I’d say the hard part is over. Bloody hell, I can't wait until Fred finds out you’re dating Y/n L/n. Can I be the one to tell him?”
Harry was quick to shake his head, “No. Her and I aren’t dating. It’s just one Christmas party.”
--
Just one Christmas party his arse, Harry thought as he watched Y/n make her way to him from her common room entry. Y/n’s dress was a dark blue, almost black, satin that hugged her body enviously close and fell all the way to the floor. Curves, dips, and assets on tasteful display, yet it was Y/n’s warm smile that made Harry’s hands sweat.
The dress had thin straps holding it up and a straight, slouchy neckline. Y/n had her arms, neck, and most of her chest exposed; she’d be lying if she said that she didn’t bring a cover up in hopes that Harry would offer his jacket.
“Ready to go?” Y/n asked bringing Harry out of scenario number sixty-seven.
Scenario number sixty seven was a personal favorite of Harry’s, just newly sprouted, it consisted of him and Y/n in a dark corridor getting rather familiar.
“Ye-Yeah. You look beautiful, Y/n.” Harry complimented.
It was Y/n’s turn to fumble as she muttered out a thank you, her bashful expression giving Harry enough of a confidence boost to put his arm around her waist to guide her to the party.
Slughorn's party had been in full swing by the time they had arrived, Harry had guided her through the long way in hopes of getting to keep his arm around her waist just that much longer. Y/n, of course, had caught on to Harry’s scenic route but kept it to herself, she had liked being alone with the raven haired boy.
A few of the party goers Y/n recognized, but made no move to go say hi as she was content standing with Harry who had started a conversation with Slughorn. The rest of the party went as such, Harry and Y/n joined at the hip, usually found in whispered conversations in dimly lit corners. Harry had gotten much more confident as the night progressed, conversation with Y/n seemed to flow exceptionally well. He had learned that she was not only insanely attractive but a huge fan of the Holyhead Harpies, loved potions class (regardless of who was teaching it), and she was incredibly witty and dorky. Harry learned that she was absolutely perfect.
“-after that I probably slipped down a good five or six steps and landed right at Umbridge’s feet. She didn’t like that very much.” Y/n laughed, right hand subconsciously going to touch the top of her left.
Harry gave her a look of disbelief catching the movement, “She didn’t set the quill on you for that did she?”
“Yeah, but it’s alright. I’m still here aren't I?” She smiled, hoping to calm the look of worry that had flashed across Harry’s face.
He didn’t respond to her attempt of calming him, instead going to grab her hand. He raised the back of her hand to the light and tried to read the words that were etched into her hand but let out a sound of confusion.
“I can’t read it…” He said more to himself but Y/n heard.
She came out of her haze, brought on by Harry holding her hand so gently and carefully.
“That’s because there’s two sentences overlapping. The first one says ‘I must behave like a lady when in public’ and the second one-”
Harry connected the dots, guilt starting to eat away at his insides as he cut her off, “The D.A.”
“Yeah…” She confirmed, eye avoiding his gaze.
Harry felt all the rage he had felt for Dolores Umbridge returning to his body again, and he swore if he were to ever see that woman again he wouldn’t hold back. Y/n could tell by the way Harry’s grip tightened around her hand, though not tight enough to hurt.
“Hey, it’s alright. If I had known what would happen then, I still would’ve joined.”
She shuddered as she felt Harry’s index finger gently trace over the undecipherable scribbles.
Harry seemed to realize how close they had gotten, and his cheeks burned as his heart rate picked up. There was a nagging voice in the back of his mind that sounded an awfully lot like Ron telling him to just make a move.
You’re a bloke
She’s a girl
“Harry, you think they’d miss you if we let for a moment?”
He was brought back to reality as he heard the words and he hoped to Merlin he was reading it the way she meant for it to be read. He could feel his cheeks burning as he tried to rack his mind of ways to respond.
“I- you mean like- like get out of here. With me?” His cheeks burned even hotter as he tried to find the right words.
He let an awkward cough slip as Y/n slowly intertwined their hands together, her move was confident but her face had an expression of shyness.
“Well, yeah I was hoping you’d be there.”
He let out a breathy laugh as he stumbled a bit, seemingly knocked back by the suggestion.
“Oh- Yeah, I- uh- brilliant!”
Y/n giggled as she found the awkward boy in front of her incredibly endearing, and she couldn’t help herself as she took a step closer to Harry, face inches from his. She could almost hear him gulp as she looked down at his lips before meeting his eyes. Luckily they had been tucked away in a corner, away from most of the prying eyes of the party.
Harry wasn’t going to reject the new positioning but he also didn’t seem to be able to move to further it along, fortunately he didn’t have to. Y/n brought her hands up to cup his face as she gently brought her lips to his. Harry was kicked into action, his hands sliding around her waist as brought her closer, deepening the kiss. They stayed like that, lips smacking and tongues getting familiar for a few more seconds before Y/n pulled away, chuckling as Harry’s lips trailed after hers for a moment.
“That was...nice. Not like a bad nice, a good nice. A really good ni-”
His jaw was once again grabbed by Y/n, making him swallow his words and look into her eyes as she smiled gently.
“You don’t have to be so nervous, Harry, it’s just me.” She said, face lining in to peck him one more time.
He puckered out his lips comically as she pecked him, face still in her hands, but he had no complaints.
“You’re a bit intimidating.” Harry admitted.
“Really? How so?” She humored him.
Harry couldn't help but answer honestly, “You’re beautiful and kinda really...cool.”
They were quick to leave after that, Harry guiding Y/n to a secluded corridor that really only those who had seen the Marauders Map would be aware of. Once far enough into the corridor, Harry pushed Y/n against a cool stone wall. No longer as nervous as before, seeing as it was clear she felt the same, he was the one to initiate the kiss.
It was with slow hands and friendly lips that Harry was finally able to live through scenario number sixty seven, and he couldn’t wait to tell Fred that the real thing was far better than anything you could fantasize about.
And Y/n L/n made her way to her dorm that night, well passed curfew, with Harry’s jacket to keep her warm.
450 notes · View notes
kyotarou · 4 years
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title: a little more noise
pairing: kyōtani kentarō x gn!reader
synopsis: in a world of constant silence, he’s the noise you need in life, even if he’s a bit quiet.
warnings: fluff, angst, mutual pining, slowburn, strangers to friends to lovers, lotta tropes and cliches, two swear words if i counted correctly
word count: 4.8k+
a/n: i wrote this in two days which i’m very proud of, go me! always wanted to write a kyōken fic and here it is. kinda scared to post this bc he’s quite tough to characterize imo and i’m terrible at writing longer pieces. oh well :,) no indentation because that’d be such a pain. hope you like it, feedback is always appreciated! (this is also my first time writing slowburn so please lmk if it’s still too fast)
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Your parents were not bad people—that was a fact. They were kind, and you did everything an ordinary family would; eat dinner together, go on trips, attend school events. Things were quiet, a little too quiet for comfort. It never felt… right. You heard stories of parents arguing, nasty divorces, and custody battles. They tore your friends apart, made them feel a pain you could never understand. You knew how terrible it was, yet sometimes you wished you went through that to fill the silence in your home. The same monotonous, “good mornings,” and “hellos,” became sickening to hear. You told yourself to push on until after graduation where you’d escape. As the years dragged on, you weren’t so sure you could keep your sanity intact.
It was how you met Kyōtani Kentarō, a second-year from your school who was in a different class. Your friend told you of a gym nearby that was secluded at night. With a sly grin, he said he met up with students from other schools to smoke, and sometimes as a hookup spot. You wrinkled your nose at his comment and flicked his forehead. These were the people you hung out with; not so bright, but easygoing and fun. They were the ones who satisfied the need for noise, the bit of excitement in your life.
You snuck out after your parents had gone to bed. It didn’t hit until halfway through your walk that several things could happen. You were alone with nothing to defend yourself with except your phone and bare hands. Looking down at your outfit, an old dark hoodie and some sweats, you hoped it was ominous enough to ward people away. Besides, the last thing you wanted was to go home and wallow in its emptiness.
To see the lights on in the gym was a surprise. Upon closer inspection, you heard the squeaking of shoes and the cannon-like sounds of balls slamming the floor. You peeked your head through the door. The only person inside was a boy, no older than you. The first thing you noticed was his oddly dyed hair which resembled a tennis ball. The second was his piercing gaze as he turned his head and stared at you. You jumped. He looked as though he was going to charge at you. Instead, the boy huffed, walked to the other side of the gym, and picked up the ball. You spotted a familiar white and blue jacket on the ground.
“Seijoh?”
The boy turned to you again. “Yeah.” His voice was low, but powerful enough to rumble the earth.
You swallowed. “I go there, too.” This was a waste of time, you thought. You should’ve gone home, and you almost did until he spoke again.
“Never seen you before.”
The ball flew into the air with the boy tailing it. His body bent in a way you didn’t think was possible, face pinched in concentration. It hit his hand then the ground with the loudest smacks you had ever heard. It was incredible, but also scary. He picked up another ball behind him and did the same, and again, and again, until his side was empty and yours was strewn with several blue and yellow volleyballs. The more you watched, the more mesmerized you became.
“Can I stay?” You felt stupid for asking, but if he was trying to concentrate, you didn’t want to disturb him. Surprisingly, he nodded. You sank to the floor with your knees to your chest and listened to the constant thwacks and smacks all night.
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You only learned his name a little while after. It was by accident. You were walking by a group of boys at school when one of them called him Mad Dog-chan, and you bit your lip to stop your laughter. Luckily, they didn’t notice. It was kind of cute the more you thought about it. It fit his appearance quite well, too. That night, you found him at the gym once again. Instead of a curt nod, you waved.
“Hey, Mad Dog-chan!”
You immediately regretted your words when he stopped bouncing the ball and flashed you a murderous look. You muttered a hurried apology and sat on the floor in your usual spot. He whacked a ball a couple of times then came over to grab his water bottle. After a few quick gulps, you expected him to get back on the court, but he stared at the spot beside you.
“It’s Kyōtani. Kyōtani Kentarō.”
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Some nights, he didn’t practice. You sat in a playground nearby with soda and snacks from home. Originally, they were meant to replenish his energy when he overworked himself. Now, you were the one eating most of them, with Kyōtani nibbling on a custard bun as you wolfed down chip bag after chip bag. One thing you could say with confidence was Kyōtani was a great listener. At first, you sat in awkward silence. Then, you started rattling off all the things you did that day. It led to you talking about anything and everything, including the funny-looking dog you saw on the street last week. You hoped he didn’t think he reminded you of it.
Talking to Kyōtani was equivalent to talking to a wall. If anything, you were talking at him. He barely looked your way, and if you asked a question, he responded with a grunt or a simple, “Yeah.” Even though you wished it was two-sided, it felt good. You could finally break the silence that shrouded you for years, something you yearned to do but never had the confidence to. With Kyōtani, because of how quiet he was, you felt you could say anything without judgment. You did this for a while, rambling to him in the playground while he sat and listened.
Together, you sat on the swings with fruit sandwiches you made earlier that day. Your feet dragged against the sand and dirt as you swung back and forth. It seemed like Kyōtani enjoyed it. You noticed him eyeing your sandwich while licking his lips. You laughed and handed the rest to him. You started your daily tangent; woke up, ate a meat bun for breakfast, went to school, did homework, then came here. Somewhere along the way, you mentioned how you were home alone since your parents had lots of meetings to attend. You wished it was a little more lively. It was why you left the house every night, to find some noise in the suffocating void of it all.
You talked some more about your family, which you never did. You were too distracted to see Kyōtani’s head perk up. He stopped munching on the fruit sandwich and leaned forward, trying to look at your face. You continued to ramble, feeling your irritation slowly rise.
“Am I a bad person? I mean, they’re really nice, and I adore them. But it’s unbearable sometimes, and then I end up feeling like an asshole.”
You let out a dry laugh, ignoring the pain of the metal chains holding up the swing as they dug into your palms. You pressed your lips together in a thin line, unsure of what to say next. You chose to draw circles in the sand with the tip of your shoe.
“I understand how you feel.”
You looked at Kyōtani in surprise. You waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. The night felt a little brighter.
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The last thing your “friends” expected was for you to ditch them for him. “Looks like a tennis ball,” one of them said. You chuckled since it was your exact thought when you first met him. You were relieved but also disheartened when they didn’t seem to mind too much. At least you knew where they stood. 
Hanging out with Kyōtani was much different compared to your nights at the gym or the playground. You got lots of stares from the third-years who never thought he could behave like this. Some people in your class whispered about the two lone-wolves banding together. You pretended not to hear.
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“You’ve been cheery lately.”
You stared at your mother, trying to process her words. They never asked about you, which you grew to appreciate. It meant not having to force out a conversation. You almost brushed it aside until she spoke again. Your chin rested in your palm as you picked the vegetables on your plate, stomach full with snacks.
“I met a new friend.”
Your mother raised her brows, impressed. “Oh? Tell me about him.”
“How do you know he’s a boy?”
“Just a hunch.”
You sighed, continuing to stir your food. “He’s quiet. A little weird, but he’s nice. I can talk to him about anything.”
“That’s good.”
Your father glanced at her, and she shot him a strange look. Don’t, it said. He backed off and ate as if nothing happened.
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You managed to weave yourself with the other boys from the volleyball team. They were a scary bunch at first, most of them glaring at Kyōtani the moment he walked through the door, but they were nice to you. He had left his jacket at the playground one night, and you made a mental note to return it to him the next day. Except, like Kyōtani, you also forgot about it. When you saw the boys flood to the gym for practice, you raced home then back to school and shyly followed a group of girls to the gym who were there to gawk at the captain.
During their break, you nervously approached Kyōtani and poked his shoulder. They watched you return his jacket but didn’t expect his, “Thank you,” afterward. When you left, Oikawa bugged him to invite you back. Kyōtani shrugged. He usually ignored him at all costs. Oikawa took it as a good sign.
Hanging out with them was a lot more fun than you anticipated. They were better than your previous friends, and even though most of them didn’t like Kyōtani, they seemed to be warming up. Your favorite moment was the movie night at Oikawa’s house. The living room was packed, with little room to wiggle, but it was comfortable. That night, you laughed so hard your stomach hurt, and the tensions between you, Kyōtani, and the rest of the boys dissolved. You belonged here.
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Yahaba caught him staring at you outside your classroom. You sat across from another classmate, helping her with a few assignments for her art class. You posed and let her take pictures. Some were silly, but the others captured your features perfectly. In one of them, you rested your cheek in your palm with the tip of your pencil wedged between your teeth. You looked at the camera through your lashes as your classmate continued to snap more shots.
“Cool it.” Yahaba clapped him on the shoulder.
“I’m not jealous.”
“Never said you were.”
You helped your classmate pack her things. While you followed her out the door, she twirled a lock of hair around her finger and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. You bid her goodbye as her friends called her over, then turned to Kyōtani and Yahaba. 
“Ready to go?”
Yahaba nodded, as did Kyōtani. You walked ahead of them, listing off that day’s menu. Behind you, Kyōtani’s eyes zeroed in on your moving form, the shift of your hips as you took each step. From an outsider’s perspective, it looked like he was honing in on a kill. Yahaba prodded his arm.
“Don’t be a pervert.”
You swore you heard a slap.
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Friday after school, your parents were home from work much earlier than anticipated. A game show played on the television. They barely noticed your arrival until you called out. The TV turned off, and your mother looked over the back of the sofa with a wry smile. Your father drummed his fingers on the arm of the sofa. His eyes stayed glued to the empty screen.
“Welcome back,” your mother greeted. She glanced at the boxes in the kitchen, filled with old plates and cutlery you hadn’t touched in a while. You assumed they were throwing them out.
“So…” she drawled. “What do you think of Tokyo?”
“Tokyo?”
Your hands shook as you set your school bag down on the kitchen table. The boxes made more sense. You remembered your father talking about a school his friend’s son attended. Nekoma, was it? He told you how great it was there, that it’d be easy to make friends in such a populated area.
“Tokyo…” you repeated. A heavy lump formed in your throat. “It seems… nice. Why do you ask?” You couldn’t stop the waver in your voice. Your mother caught on too.
“Dad’s company moved areas. It’s a big shift, but it’s too good to lose. So-”
“We’re moving.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you were about to.” 
Your head hung over the table. There was a crushing weight in your chest. Of course they wouldn’t tell you. They never did. It was too much to not expect this betrayal. If you told them how happy you were at Seijoh, maybe things would’ve been different. I could’ve prevented this. You shook your head. You couldn’t stop an entire company from moving, nor could you convince your father to find a new job in Miyagi. You had to follow them like you always did.
“If we can stay, we will, but most likely-”
“I’ll start packing.”
You grabbed your school bag and stomped to your room, vision obscured by your tears. Why now? Why did it have to be when you were starting to fit in, when you found real friends who made you happier than ever? Just when things looked like they were turning around, you were back at square one. You’d be there for a while, stuck in a new city far away from Seijoh. If you were with your old group, you wouldn’t have been this upset. But to not see them again—Yahaba, Hanamaki, even Oikawa.
You opened your phone and stared at the lock screen: a picture of you and Kentarō from the movie night at Oikawa’s. His arm was slung over your shoulder, a scowl on his face, but the peace sign he held up made it worth it. You remembered taking it and everyone gasping that Kentarō would even allow anyone to take a picture of him, let alone save it. Your heart fluttered. When did he stop being Kyōtani and become Kentarō?
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Kentarō faced the empty playground. He sat in the right swing as he always did, scanning the area for any sign of you. In his hand was his attempt at a fruit sandwich, messily covered in cellophane with whipped cream oozing between the bread. A bandaid wrapped the tip of his finger where he accidentally cut himself. Damn those strawberries.
Kentarō kicked at the dirt. He waited, and waited some more, but after twenty minutes, you didn’t show. He pulled out his phone and sent you a quick text. Your absence made his skin crawl. His phone lit up with a response. Sorry, was all you said.
He couldn’t shake the heaviness as he trudged home.
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The view outside the window gave you an excuse to be distracted. The voices of the boys were loud, but you chose to focus on the birds circling the courtyard. Two of them swooped down and landed on the thick branch of an old tree. They ruffled their feathers and nuzzled their beaks. You saw your old friends walk out of the main building. The one who introduced you to the gym glanced up. His eyes met yours momentarily. He went back to talking to someone you didn’t recognize and led them to the other side of the campus.
You stared out the window until Mattsun shook your shoulder. You turned and put on a faux smile. Your classwork was still strewn across your desk even though it was lunch. A few drops of chili sauce had landed on your math homework. You scowled at Hanamaki, his face stuffed with food.
“Oops.”
You wiped it off with an eye roll then stuffed it into your bag along with your other notebooks.
“What’s buggin’ ya?” Mattsun asked. 
You shrugged. “Nothing. I’m ready for the day to end.” It was the last thing you wanted. There was a bit of time before you left for Tokyo, but the countdown moved fast. You ignored Mattsun’s opposing look and ate. They couldn’t know yet.
Kentarō knew there was more than what met the eye, but he bit his tongue. He was paranoid, he told himself. The guilty look on your face as the boys laughed, unaware of the shift in attitude, said otherwise. He threw his arm over the back of your chair. You relaxed, but the sad look remained. Remembering the fruit sandwich he made, Kentarō grabbed it from his bag and slid it across your desk. You raised your brows.
“What’s this?”
“I made it.”
You unwrapped the sticky mess of whipped cream and strawberry jam. Kentarō watched you take a small bite, followed by a bigger one.
“This is delicious!”
He showed you the tip of his finger. “The price I paid for it.”
Your knees knocked against his under your desk. He flinched. You pressed your finger to your lips, then to the bandaid. “Thank you. Hope it feels better.”
Your cheeks swelled as you took more bites than you could chew. Pink syrup stuck to the corner of your mouth. Cute, Kentarō thought.
“What was that?” you mumbled. A crumb lodged itself in your throat. Mattsun rushed over and slapped you so hard on the back it echoed. A handful of other students looked over. Hanamaki scolded you for gulping down your bottle of water without taking any breaths. Kentarō cheeks turned a darker shade than the strawberries when you gripped his arm for support. You didn’t ask again.
“Cute,” he whispered anyway. He knew you wouldn’t hear over Mattsun’s teasing. “You’re cute.”
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Kentarō invited you to the movies. He planned on having it at home, but his parents occupied the TV, and his laptop was too small to enjoy anything. He met you at a plaza a walking distance’s away. He let you pick the movie, curious about your tastes. Action? Romcom? When he looked at his ticket, it was for the latest horror movie. Critics raved about it, calling it the best of the decade. Impressive.
The movie started a while ago. The critics were right, it was scary, a lot scarier than he expected. You enjoyed it like a comedy movie, clapping your hand over your mouth when the entire theater shrieked at the killer, including Kentarō.
“You’re a sadist,” he whispered.
“Am not, just think it’s funny.”
He shook his head. Another jumpscare happened, this time worse than before. Several people jolted in their seats and bits of popcorn flew into the air. Kentarō didn’t realize he had sank into his seat—your seat, actually—until you nudged his foot with yours.
“Scared?” Your breath was warm against his ear.
“Sorry.”
You patted his hand which clutched the armrest with a vice grip. Kentarō’s heart beat faster.
“It’s okay,” you said. “I’m right here.”
The movie ended and the lights switched on. People left the theater with wobbly legs and pale faces. You headed to the exit holding your empty cups and popcorn bags with Kentarō in tow. He wished the movie was longer. Not because he enjoyed it, but because the smile on your face made it worth it.
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Your room was bare besides your bed and desk. Most of your stuff was packed neatly in the many cardboard boxes piled inside your now empty closet. It’d been a few weeks since that Friday, and you still hadn’t told Kentarō or any of the boys. You weren’t sure how to break the news. He noticed how clingy you became, tailing him wherever he went at school. Not that he minded. You talked less at the playground. It was him who filled the silence instead, though his daily recaps weren’t as interesting as yours.
Next week was the last with Kentarō. In your shaky hands was an envelope, the edges indented from how hard you gripped it. You took out the letter inside, read it over, then slipped it back in. You thought about sealing it for the umpteenth time that day. Before your tongue swiped against the flap, you quickly scanned over the letter once more as if the words would disappear. You’d seal it later, you told yourself.
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Your over-the-top cheeriness was so evident it was painful. They asked what was up, and you said you were simply having a good day. Kentarō knew better than that. At lunch, when you were away from everyone else, he prodded your shoulder and asked what was wrong. You frowned at him, then smiled.
“Everything's fine.”
Before he could probe further, you grabbed his wrist and led him to the cafeteria.
“There’s chicken! It’s your favorite, right?”
Something slipped out of your pocket. Kentarō thought it was your school notes. He bent down to pick it up and saw it was a white envelope, unsealed. You were already gone, dragged away by his teammates. He didn’t want to pry, but curiosity got the best of him. Turning the other direction, he grabbed the note inside. His name at the top caught his eye.
Dear Kyōken-chan,
He snorted.
Sorry for not telling you this sooner. I’m still trying to process this too.
A crease formed on his forehead as he squinted. The letter was quite long, the handwriting messy. He repeated the phrases in his head over and over, but he couldn’t fully understand what they meant. He flipped it to the back and sighed when there was more. He decided to scan it this time, except a handful of words made him reread it in depth.
“Kentarō!” In your arms were several wrapped buns from the cafeteria. He tried to stuff the note into his pocket, but you already saw.
“Oh.” The buns fell to the ground. “Oh no.”
Kentarō’s face was a mix of frustration and hurt. The hand holding the letter shook, the other balled in a fist. You wanted to run, but if you moved, you swore you’d collapse.
“(Y/N),” he murmured. “What is this?”
A weary laugh escaped your lips. “Um. Can we go somewhere else?”
Not waiting for an answer, you grabbed his wrist and led him to the school’s courtyard.
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“One week,” he huffed.
“One week.”
You sat beneath a large, shady tree in the farthest corner away from the main building. Kentarō rubbed his temple and sighed. He held onto your letter. You fiddled with your fingers in your lap.
“For how long?”
“Probably forever. Not literally, but it’ll feel like it.”
“So you’re graduating from Nekoma?”
You nodded. Kentarō tapped his knuckles against his cheek.
“Wished you told me sooner.”
You blinked at him wearily. “You’re not mad?”
He shook his head then turned away. You grew quiet for a moment. He took it as his chance to butt in.
“So, you like me?”
“It’s all in the letter.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
You looked away. Your hands were clammy, and the air felt ten times hotter. The word you used was stronger, much stronger than he anticipated. It made his cheeks burn and a smile threatened to pull at his lips. He wanted to hear it come to life.
“I love you, Kentarō.”
It sounded sweet, almost tooth-rotting sweet. Kentarō chewed the inside of his cheek. He liked you, he really did. He just wasn’t sure if it was the right moment to say it. Would there be a right moment? After this week, you’d be in Tokyo in another school—a rival school, to make matters worse. He wanted his words to hold weight, and in that moment, they didn’t. Not as much as he wished.
“If you don’t feel the same, I understand.”
“I do.”
You opened your mouth to speak, but the bell cut you off. Kentarō hoisted himself from the ground then held his hand out. His palm was rough under yours, but his touch was gentle. Once you got to your feet, you let go, but he kept his pinky locked with yours.
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Friday arrived quickly. Sadness filled the air as you said your goodbyes, thanking your classmates and teachers for the short, but pleasant year. After school, the team led you to the gym with your eyes covered. The boys’ gym was decorated with a banner and a table with food. There was even a cake, the word Seijoh iced and crossed out on top. You let out a hearty laugh before inviting the boys to dig in.
“Of course,” said Oikawa. “I paid for it.”
On one side, Mattsun smeared frosting over Hanamaki’s cheek. On the other, Oikawa tried to spoon-feed Iwaizumi only to be smacked on the head. You sat on the floor next to Kentarō and looked around with a big smile. His thumb reached out to wipe a dollop of frosting from the corner of your mouth. The phrase, “Time flies when you’re having fun,” held up its end of the bargain. When you looked outside, the sun had begun to set.
You thanked your friends, took one last photo, and managed to hold in your tears until your walk home. You promised to visit and to cheer them on at nationals, even if you were on Nekoma’s side. They laughed, waved with sad smiles, then watched you leave.
Kentarō caught up with you a third of the way home. His hand slipped into yours, a habit he recently picked up. It wouldn’t last much longer. You stopped a few houses down from yours. You didn’t want to let go, not yet.
You learned many things this year. One, life wasn’t fair. It never was. Two, people weren’t as shitty as you thought, proven in your new friendships. Three, seeing Kentarō cry made your heart ache in a way you never wanted to feel again. His head fell against your shoulder with a hard thump, tears soaking through the uniform you’d wear for the last time. You rubbed his back and pressed your lips to the top of his head.
“Stay,” he pleaded.
“I wish I could.”
“Please don’t go.”
“I have to.”
Kentarō looked up through his watery lashes. Your lips connected. Who initiated it was a mystery. His kiss was slow but fervent. You leaned in, deepening it until you swore your teeth clashed. Kentarō’s hands rested on your hips, yours on the nape of his neck. His kisses were magnetizing, drawing you closer with each movement. You broke apart for air, foreheads pressed together. He still had tears in his eyes, and so did you. You stayed like that for a bit, wrapped in each other’s arms until you knew you had to let go.
“Call me everyday, please,” he whispered.
“I promise. I swear on my life.” 
You kissed him again. 
“Goodbye, Kentarō. I love you.”
“Goodbye, (Y/N). I’ll be waiting.”
“So will I.”
Kentarō didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. You knew he loved you, proven by his daily text messages and calls thereafter. Even if it only lasted a couple of seconds, you never missed a day. Sometimes, you heard his teammates' voices in the background. The audio would become crackly before a new voice replaced your boyfriend’s: Mattsun, Yahaba, Oikawa, and even Iwaizumi. 
Boyfriend. The fact made your stomach fill with butterflies. Kentarō was yours, and you were his.
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It’d been months since you last saw him in person. You finished your second-year at Nekoma, a school that welcomed you with open arms. You met lots of people, found new friends, but the boys from Seijoh never left your mind. The picture you took hung on the wall of your new bedroom, a space you were still getting used to. Summer vacation was here, and you promised to come home to Miyagi for a week or two. On the train, you checked your phone to see how many kilometers were left. Just a few more minutes.
When it came to a halt, you burst from your seat, duffle bag in tow. You sent Kentarō a text, only to be face-to-face with him the moment the doors opened. You leapt into his arms, knocking him back a few steps. His chin rested on your shoulder as you hugged, swaying side to side.
“I missed you so much, Ken.”
“Missed you, too.”
Your fingers clasped around his, resting perfectly in the dips between his knuckles. Hopefully, he hadn’t dropped his habit. The months you were apart flew by, but they were also the longest you had ever witnessed. Seeing Kentarō for the first time in a while felt like a breath of cool, fresh air.
You tugged on his wrist, ready to head to town. He stayed put.
“What is it?”
“I love you.”
He grinned shyly at you. Kentarō brought color into your dull life, your source of noise in the thick silence. The summer wouldn’t forever, and you had another year left to endure. But as long as he was there, even kilometers away, you’d get through it together.
286 notes · View notes
ukai-simp-services · 3 years
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just tonight
oikawa tōru x fem!reader warnings: smoking weed, cursing, degrading/humiliating, nsfw and smut ofc, corruption kink, slight biblical references, y/n is kinda bitchy, voyeurism, temp/heat play, high during intercourse, choking, dumbdification. a/n: i literally don’t even like smoking or care for it at all BUT THIS FUCKING IDEA CAME TO MY HEAD AND OOOHH BOY. so here’s an alternate universe oikawa being a mf bad boy stoner with piercings and tattoos, and lowkey an asshole.
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  fake friends, fake fucking friends, you thought to yourself. you were standing outside of the loud - practically vibrating - club. the one that your friends invited you to; yet here you were, alone while they were driving away with sloppy looking men that just wanted to hook up with them. 
  bass-boosted music rang through your ears, while the ground you walked on literally shook from the bouncing club. you felt a wave of goosebumps rise on your skin, the dress you were wearing was a little too short and it didn't help that the sleeves were spaghetti straps. it was only the beginning of summer, a late june night with a chilling breeze. not to mention, you were two fucking hours away from home, you had no car and a dead phone. the best you could hope for was that someone was kind enough to call a cab for you, or an uber - but there was no one around, except for the people inside the club that you could no longer enter.
  “someone looks lost~” a low, yet teasing voice came from behind you.
  you whipped your head around; taken aback by the sudden voice, but felt slightly relieved when you were greeted by the presence of a young man.
  “yeah, i guess you could say that...” your voice was timid as you trailed off, still nervous of this unknown man gracing your presence. 
  “’s not safe for a pretty girl like you to be walking around this area with that lost look on your face, you could attract some bad news.” he stepped closer and closer to you, almost hesitantly. 
  “like you?” you cocked an eyebrow back at him, gesturing to the array of large, black tattoos littering his arms.
  he clicked his tongue at you, ”should someone like you really be judging others by their looks?” the stranger got uncomfortably closer and you could see that his eyes resembled a warm brown color and his fluffy hair matched them. his face certainly didn't match the rest of his appearance. 
  “someone like me? i look exactly like what i am, a girl who's stranded with no phone or car and could use a nice person to call her a cab home. get lost, creep.” you practically spat back. 
  you spun on your heel and began walking away, you half expected him to chase after you and snatch you into the darkness of an ally, and half expected him to just give up and walk away. your speed-walking was put to a halt when he did neither of those things, when he started laughing hysterically. you spun around quickly out of curiosity to see him doubled over, crouched down on the ground trying to get a grip on himself. 
  “what's so funny?” you were both pissed and skeeved out, what the hell was this asshole creepy laughing at you for?
  he began wiping the tears from his eyes dramatically, “nothing, sorry. it’s just that girls like you are so stereotypical. always looking down on men like me, always thinking you're better than everyone else. it’s just kinda funny instead of insulting.” 
  you were at a loss for words, did you really come off that bitchy? and didn't you have a right to? he was the one lurking in the shadows.
  “i'd call you a cab, but i left my phone at home. i could go get it and come back?”
  somehow, you weren't convinced he’d let you go that easy. something about his tone when he first approached you, was just too teasing and insinuating. 
  “no thanks, i can find someone else to call one for me.” you nervously tugged at the chain on your purse, you knew that was a damn lie. the streets were empty, and this man was your only hope.
  he smirked, a knowing look planted on his face. he wouldn't push, but he knew you'd have to resort to his help in the end. 
  “suit your self.” he treaded away slowly, eagerly expecting your plea to come. 
  you furrowed your eyebrows slightly, he wasn't going to keep pushing you? was he not just saying how unsafe the streets were for a young girl like you?
  “actually- wait.” you stammered hesitantly, embarrassed that you needed his attention again. 
  he turned around swiftly, a small smirk gracing his lips - smugly trying to hold back a grin. 
  “i'm sorry, could you please call me a taxi?” you failed to notice his sly expression.
  “sure thing, but will you be safe here on your own while i get my phone?” he feigned the worry in his voice and the twinkle in his eyes. 
  you bit your lip, hesitant to pick your next words.
  “how long would you be?”
  “should be a 10 minute walk there, another 10 minutes back.”
  “so, 20 minutes?”
  “yes, around 20.” the mysterious man toyed with something between his long, slender fingers, barely giving you a glance. 
  “oh...” you looked around awkwardly, you thought 20 minutes might be too long. who knows what kind of person would approach you, plus it felt like the breeze against your so very exposed legs was getting colder by the minute.
  he looked up to catch your nervous gaze.
  “of course, you could join me on the walk, wait outside my house when we get there.” he pursed his lips, making it look like he had just thought up the idea with no further intentions. 
  no, no fucking way you would go with him.
  but in his gaze, you caught something. a glint in his eyes; trust, comfort. 
  your better judgement faltered as you lost yourself in the charm he held in his eyes, the start to many more risks you would take that night. 
  despite his eccentric look; piercings littering his ears, leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up, obscene tattoos and all black attire - he had a deep warmth in his eyes. and you may have felt so stupid in the moment, but you found yourself trusting that warmth.
  “okay, can't be worse than staying here alone right?”
  he chuckled, “right.”
  but were you actually wrong?
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  the walk to his apartment was quiet, mostly because you were nervous he was gonna snap and pull a knife out and murder you in an ally.
  “you know, you don't have to walk 10 feet away from me, right?” the guy looked over his shoulder and squinted his eyes at you. 
  you bit your lip, deciding to stride a little closer to him - making a more comfortable distance.
  “i don't even know your name, mystery man.” 
  he chuckled, stepping to the side a little to give you more room to walk.
  “neither do i, mystery woman.”
  “wouldn't you like to know, i asked first anyway.”
  you were now walking by his side, a little more confident than you were before. your fingers held themselves behind your back, purse still hooked over your shoulder.
  “it’s oikawa, tōru oikawa.” his eyes flickered up to yours, hopeful for you to open up and tell him your name too.
  “told me your full name huh, i guess i should too.” you rocked on your heels nervously. you were still uneasy about telling him your full name for some reason, but when you looked into his orbs of warm chocolate brown, you felt like you could trust this man with your life.
  “l/n y/n.”
  he smirked, looking up ahead at the road again, “pretty name, definitely suits a pretty girl.”
  you rolled your eyes at his sudden flattery, he seemed to do a lot of that - you noticed.
  the two of you continued walking for a few more minutes, casual conversation bouncing off each other. you noticed he began to slow down his faster walking pace when you both reached a tall apartment building.
  “we’re home.” he winked at you.
  “oh shut it, don’t take too long please. it’s so cold...” you hopped from foot to foot and rubbed your exposed biceps with your hands.
  oikawa thought for a moment - running his tongue over his teeth while contemplating how to make what he was about to say not sound creepy.
  “why don’t you come in with me? it’d only take a second and i don’t trust the people around this area to leave you alone out here.”
  you paused for a moment, you were usually very street smart and would know exactly how to avoid this situation. if he were any other guy, you’d just say ‘no thanks, i can handle myself’ and refuse his offer - but his eyes, why were you so allured by his eyes? what was it about him that you trusted? 
  “it’s okay if you’re uncomfortable, i’ll be quick and you can wait out here-“
  “no, wait. i'll come, just...don’t pull anything weird, kay?” you were readjusting your purse on your shoulder as you hesitantly stepped closer to the apartment door.
  “of course, i’d never.” there was a glint of mischief in his eye after the words left his lips, but you didn’t notice it.
  after oikawa let you into his apartment, you were greeted by the strongest smell of weed in your life - and a lot of loud talking and laughter. you were just about ready to turn on your heel and leave.
  “sorry ‘bout that, my friends are really loud.” oikawa apologized and locked the door behind you.
  you waved him off, dismissing his apology. you didn’t care about his loud friends, you were just bothered by the disgusting scent of marijuana that hit your nostrils. you wouldn’t tell him that though, at least not yet.
  you followed oikawa into the living room; also known as the source of where the horrid smell was coming from. the room was dimly lit and felt bigger than it looked. there was an L-shaped brown couch in the center of the room being occupied by 3 men - seemingly the same age as oikawa and yourself.
  “hey guys, this is y/n. she got lost and needs me to call her a ride home. do you guys know where my phone is?” oikawa spoke to the men in front of you, they all seemed to immediately drop their conversation the second oikawa walked in.
  “nah man, i dunno.” a boy with short light brown hair spoke up while twiddling a blunt between his fingers.
  oikawa sighed and ran a hand through his hair, quickly scanning the room for his phone before looking back at you.
  “wait here for a sec while i go look in my room, kay?” he raised an eyebrow at you before hearing your response.
  you would’ve snorted at the tall man with tattoos and ripped jeans using the term “kay”, if it weren’t for the intimating group of men staring you down at the moment.
  “sure.” you forced a nod, signaling oikawa to exit the room.
  you looked around the room awkwardly, hands clasped together against your thighs. you weren’t sure how long he would take, and you certainly weren’t up for small talk with these ‘troublesome’ looking guys.
  “take a seat, we don’t bite.” the man with messy black hair and thick eyebrows chuckled at you.
  yeah right, “that’s ok, i-“
  “i insist.” his voice was deep and his eyes were burning holes into your own. you weren’t sure how someone so high could come off so serious.
  you swallowed down your nerves and took a seat on the far right of all the boys on the couch, plopping down next to one of the quieter men; he had spiky black hair and wore a denim jacket. 
  “so, ‘kawa’s picking up strangers off the street n bringing 'em into our apartment now, eh?” the man next to you spoke up, plucking the blunt from his friends fingers and placing it between his own lips. 
  the light-haired man laughed, following it with a cough from previously inhaling the smoke, “wouldn’t be much of a surprise, knowing him.”
  you wrinkled your nose at their laughter. you tried to be polite, you really did, but you simply didn't belong here; didn't belong in a room with these ‘delinquents’.
  “i am not, ‘from the streets’, for your information. i don't even live around here, i was just clubbing with my friends, but they-” 
  “yeah yeah, we get it. you're a typical stuck-up girl who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.” the light-haired boy (it would really help if they told you their names) mocked you in a high-pitched voice.
  “i'm not stuck up, i just-” he kept cutting you off.
  “oh please, the second you walked in here, you were sticking up your nose at us, looking us up and down with a disapproving glare. you're just that kind of girl, face it.” 
  the messy-haired man chuckled lowly at his friend’s joke and added, “just oikawa’s type!”
  “that's enough, you two.” the quieter man next to you spoke up for a second time, giving the other two men a threatening glare. 
  you swallowed awkwardly as the room became quiet, only the soft sounds of sucking in smoke from the blunt being passed around were heard. 
  you were busy absentmindedly picking at the polish on your nails, a nervous habit, when a small orange glow next to your head caught your eye. 
  “you wanna hit?” the guy next to you was holding the blunt out for you to grab, the strong smell getting a little too close to your nostrils. 
  you scrunched your nose at his offer, shaking your head to further decline.
  “no thanks, i don't really do that stuff.”
  the spikey-haired male nodded - accepting your decision and taking an extra hit himself, when you heard a chuckle come from behind him.
  “god, she really is a prude.” the voice of the impudent light-haired man spoke again.
  you were just about ready to bite back a reply, but the man sat in-between the two men with the deeper voice beat you to it. 
  “makki, bet you 10 bucks she was only at that club for a half-hour before she was beggin’ her friends to go. that's probably why they ditched her stuck-up ass.” the boys cackled in unison at their stupid jokes. if they weren't pissing you off so much, you might even had found their cackles funny. 
  “makki, mattsun, shut your mouths.” the man next to you rose his voice slightly. you were thankful that he was sticking up for you, but there was no way you'd let it go without defending yourself.
  “ha, sorry that i actually have my life together and don't need a mind-altering drug to live my every day life. you guys are the pathetic ones, not me.” you laughed bitterly at them. what you were saying was only half true; you didn't have your life together and you couldn't care less if people that weren't you did mind-altering drugs, but you did think they were pathetic. 
  3 pairs of eyes widened in your direction in response your bitchy remark, they knew they had it coming - yet they were still surprised to hear it. 
  “please, humble yourself sweetheart. you aren't any better than us for not doing drugs.” the man with dark hair, presumably mattsun, laughed coldly at you whilst leaning further back into the cushion of the couch. 
  “yeah, you're only missing out.” the man called makki chimed in.
  “missing out? oh please, on what? a fried brain? smelly breath? black lungs? yeah, i think I'm doing just fine.” you leaned back against the couch, content with the newfound confidence you held. you weren't normally this snappy with people you first met, so this was quite a shift in your usual dynamic. 
  this time, all three boys laughed at you, this included the quieter man who's name you still did not know. 
  “oh darling, you're cracking me up. just say that you're a prude and go, you're honestly embarrassing yourself.” makki pushed your argument further. 
  “yeah, you shouldn't knock something before you try it. just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you have to act-” 
  “what makes you think that im a virgin? what does weed have to do with my sex life, like at all?” your voice was getting defensively higher and you were now leaning over the man in between you and makki and mattsun to get your point across. 
  “you're not a virgin because you don't smoke weed, but you don't smoke weed because you're a virgin.” makki put it bluntly, staring straight at you with a completely blank face. the two boys next to him chuckled at his stupidity. you were completely dumbfounded. 
  “you're joking right? this has to be a joke. you can't seriously think that i’m some prude who's never had sex before just because i've never smoked weed before - and never will.” you were crossing your right leg over your left now, lifting your posture significantly to get a better look at the men.
  “actually, sweetheart. that's exactly what we think.” mattsun glanced over at you, half-lidded eyes burning into your own. 
  you felt a shudder run through your body at the nickname, trying your hardest to push down the heat rising to your cheeks and somehow maintain your snarky persona. 
  “i-”
  “found my phone- what is going on here?” oikawa entering the living room interrupted your retaliation, suddenly becoming confused with the obvious tense atmosphere in the room. 
  “tch, your little prude of a friend over here just called us pathetic for smoking weed.” makki rolled his eyes before placing the blunt between his lips, it was now a quarter of the size it was before when you first entered the home. 
  “only because your asshole friends were calling me a prude and a virgin for not smoking.” you snapped back immediately, turning your body to face oikawa to make your point. 
  “asshole friends? that isn't very nice now is it, sweetheart?” mattsun teased you again, using the same nickname that you were shamefully flustered by before. 
  you opened your mouth to argue back, but oikawa interrupted your spiteful words with a long laugh.
  “i knew you were a stereotypical stuck-up girl the second i met you, didn't i y/n? this comes off as no surprise to me.” oikawa’s arms were now crossed and he was eyeing you down from his standing position above you.
  “oooh, her name is y/n. just sounds like a prude’s name.” makki proceeded to torment you. 
  “come on asswipes, be gentlemen.” the quieter man next to you spoke up again for the first time in quite a few minutes. 
  “sorry, iwa-chan, but i’m gonna have to side with makki and mattsun this time. if y/n wants to act like a little prudent brat, then she’ll just have to be treated like one.” oikawa stepped closer to your spot on the couch, a teasing lilt to his voice.
  you were flustered by how fast oikawa’s personality had shifted, he had alluded you to think he was a charming, trustworthy man not even 20 minutes ago. where was that energy now?
  “such a stuck-up brat, probably gonna live to be a perfect little virgin mary, yeah? never gonna compromise her health, never gonna sleep with a man, and never gonna commit a sin, isn't that right?” oikawa now stood directly in front of you, legs brushing against yours with your head at eye level with his crotch. 
  you hesitated for a moment, contemplating if your pride was really worth doing this. 
  of course it was.
  “pass me the fucking blunt.” your head whipped towards makki, holding your hand out towards him, praying to god that he couldn't see how much you were shaking.
  makki widened his reddened eyes at you while trying to figure out if you were being serious or not.
  “are you deaf? let me take a fucking hit.” your eyes were dead and cold, boring into his surprised ones.
  “alright... now that's what i like to see.” makki’s lips curled up into a smirk as he passed you the medium-sized, glowing blunt. 
  everybody’s eyes were on you as your held the object between your thumb and your pointer finger, mimicking the movements you've seen others do so many times before.
  “you sure you can handle the smoke, darling?” oikawa’s voice was anything but caring and sweet, it held a mocking tone laced with faux sympathy. 
  no, you were very sure that you couldn't, but you were too stubborn to go back now. your pride was on the line and you would be damned if you didn't prove yourself to these four men.
  you looked up at oikawa through your thick lashes, placing the blunt between your lips at the slowest, most seductive speed. 
  “i'm a big girl. i think i'll be alright, kay?
  oikawa let a low chuckle out, still staring down at you from his tall position above you with his head slightly tilted to the side. 
  “we’ll see about that.” his voice came out deeper and smoother than it had before.
  you wanted so badly to prove to these assholes that you weren't as prudent as they made you out to be. sure, you were a little pretentious and always stuck your nose up in disapproval when your friends did similar actions that these boys did, but secretly, you always wished you could let yourself loose like everyone else. you were raised to be a perfect, well-behaved girl, so you've always kind of stuck by that title for as long as you knew. just going to clubs, like you did tonight, was totally out of your comfort zone. if tonight was going to be the one night where you let yourself loose, then there was no reason that you couldn't do this, right?
  you seemed to underestimate how many hits it would take for a lightweight like you to get even the slightest bit high, all you wanted was a little buzz - just to get these dickheads off your back. 
  it was only after coughing up an entire lung after your two first hits, that you realized that this might've not been such a good idea.
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  you set down the glass of water that iwaizumi - the only nice guy out of the bunch - got you from the tap. you were four hits in and absolutely miserable. your entire chest felt on fire and to make matters worse, you didn't even feel high yet - not like you would know what that felt like, anyway. 
  “nuh-uh, that's enough for you.” oikawa quickly snatched the blunt from your fingers before you could react.
  you rolled your eyes, not wanting to back down from what felt like a competition. 
  “pft, look who's the pussy now.” you reached to grab for the small piece of blunt left in oikawa’s hand, but your slow reaction rate caused you to miss horribly. 
  “i’m not a pussy, i just know what'll happen to a light-weight like you. if you over-do it you're bound to get sick, and the last thing i need is some random girl who pushed her limits to lose her shit in front of me.” oikawa’s words were harsh, but a playful smirk was planted on his lips. 
  you weren't having it.
  he was right, you had pushed your limits - and oikawa didn't know the half of how stubborn you were. you weren't about to let the guy that was just making fun of you for being so prude, to change his mind and withhold you from proving yourself. 
  “thanks for the advice, but i promise you i can handle myself.” you spat back at the man hovering over you, proceeding to snatch the blunt back from his hand. 
  oikawa chuckled and shook his head at you, deciding to take a seat on the coffee table in front of you.
  “suit yourself.”
  you continued the assault on your lungs; taking long hits of the remainder of the blunt, coughing hysterically, drowning yourself in water, then repeating the process again. you'd think the group of boys would have some complaints about you hogging the last few hits of their weed, but they just sat back and reveled in the sight of you struggling to keep up your pride, entertained at the sight of your flushed cheeks. 
  it wasn't until you were sucking at practically nothing that you realized you'd finished the blunt, still unsatisfied with the lack of buzz you felt.
  “wow that was exactly what I thought it would be, a total waste of money and lung health.” you laughed dryly, leaning back onto the couch in discontent. 
  “not your money.” mattsun rolled his eyes at you.
  “just wait till it hits, she’ll be fucked.” makki laughed loudly at your expense, nodding his head in your direction at mattsun. 
  all the guys chuckled in unison, they seemed to do that a lot through out the night.
  “glad our weed was just a waste to you, maybe buy your own next time.” oikawa’s eyes held mischief in them as they glared at you, a playful scowl on his lips.
  “oh i’m sorry, did i waste your precious weed?” you jutted your bottom lip out in a faux pout, your eyes containing an unintentionally seductive glint in them. 
  oikawa narrowed his eyes back at you, feeding into the little game you were starting. 
  “yeah, I think you did. how ‘bout you pay up for it, hm sweetheart?” he leaned over his lap, forearms resting on the tops of his thighs and his face nearing closer to yours. 
  your mouth opened to retort something back, but words failed to come out as your vision started becoming hazy and an urge to laugh started sprouting in your stomach. you couldn't contain the laughter that spilled from your mouth, cheeks heating up and body beginning to feel numb. 
  “yeah...she’s gone.” iwaizumi chuckled. 
  oikawa smirked at you, his face still so close to yours that you could faintly feel the warmth of his breath on you. 
  “no i’m not...” you let out a few more giggles as you felt a numbing feeling take over your arms and legs. you slapped your legs in hopes to regain some feeling in them, giggling once again at how heightened your senses were becoming. 
  “oh god, wasn't expecting to have to babysit today.” makki groaned from the other side of the couch.
  “you literally aren't doing anything.” mattsun prodded back at him.
  “true, this is oikawa’s problem now.”
  the chesnut-haired man chuckled in front of you, pressing his hands to his knees as he pushed himself off the coffee table.
  “there's no way i’m letting you get in an uber tonight, come with me.” he held his hand out in front of your face.
  your mind was on a whole different level than his. your vision felt extremely clear, you couldn’t help how your eyes trailed over every tattoo and vein running down oikawa’s hand and forearm right in front of you - mouth unapologetically agape at the sight. 
  “come on, don't give me a hard time, yeah?” his voice sounded smoother than you ever heard it, it echoed in your brain and overstimulated your senses. you wanted to hear more. 
  “no.” you pouted, reddening eyes glancing up through your lashes to lock with his. 
  “no?”
  “no.” you were firm, or tried to be, another fit of giggles threatened to bubble out of your throat. 
  he cocked an eyebrow at you, clearly not following your message. 
  “want...oikawa...” you were unable to finish your sentence, your brain suddenly forgetting what words were supposed to come next.
  he leaned down to your height with his hands propped up against his knees, face merely inches from yours. he held a permanent smirk on his lips and his eyes teased you with faux seduction, oikawa almost always knew what he was doing. 
  “want me to do what?” his voice was lower than usual, softer too. 
  “need...” you knew you needed something, you just couldn't think of what.
  “yeah? keep going, baby.”
  you furrowed your brows in frustration, your brain was a little too hazy for your liking and the small bit of rationality that you still had inside you was getting fed up with how stupid you were acting. 
  “kiss.” you blurted out, then bit your lip and dropped your gaze as if you just exposed a secret that you weren't supposed to tell anymore. 
  “a kiss where?” he taunted you, bringing a finger underneath your chin to lift your gaze to his once more. 
  what felt like a few seconds to you - was almost a full minute in real time, of you staring up at oikawa; mouth agape, eyes hooded, not saying a word.
  “everywhere.” he almost couldn't hear you, because of how soft your words came out. 
  oikawa didn't show it, but his stomach erupted in warmth at your words, that same warmth flooding down to his crotch. he bit his tongue before responding to you, he knew damn well you were in no state of mind to be making these decisions. 
  but you just looked so pretty sitting below him like that; eyes lidded with the daze from your high mixed with lust, lips parted, and legs crossed to cover up the growing wetness coming from your core. 
  “mmm, tempting, but i don't particularly enjoy taking advantage of women while they're high.” he sighed, shaking his head in hopes it would get rid of his lewd thoughts.
  you pouted in return. sure, the buzz from your high was strong, strong enough to make you regret how bold you were acting when you woke up tomorrow, but not strong enough to have sex with someone you had no interest in. no, you had been looking him up and down all night long. you wanted this, the buzz just gave you the confidence you didn't have before - and who were you not to take this opportunity? 
  it wasn't just the lack of rationality from your high that made you want this from him, it was the heightened senses. every time you were close to him, everytime his eyes gazed over yours, you felt a million sparks burst through out your body. you were convinced that the second he touched you, your skin would ignite with flames. 
  you grabbed his hand, pulling him back in to destroy the distance he made between you two. 
  “i know what i want, and i've wanted this the whole night. despite what you think, i’m not some virgin mary. so are you gonna continue to act like a little pussy, or are you going to fuck mine?” 
  a gasp was heard from the right of you, makki. he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth after oikawa sent a glare his way. 
  “and what happens when you regret this tomorrow?” he raised an eyebrow down at you playfully.
  “something tells me that, that won't happen... unless, you're saying that it's short?” you questioned him with a gaze that fluttered down to his crotch, then back up to his eyes. 
  oikawa had to hold back the growl that threatened to escape his lips, and the hand that twitched in anticipation to squeeze your throat. 
  “oh, it’s most certainly not.”
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  you had expected oikawa to take you back to his room, at least. 
  you didn't think he'd wrap his hand around your throat and push you up against the couch right there. 
  right in front of makki and mattsun.
  right next to iwaizumi. 
  you struggled against the strength of oikawa’s death grip around your neck, unsure if your hazy vision was from the loss of air you were getting or the impending high from the weed. 
  “you said you wanted to be fucked, right?” oikawa’s words were laced with a venom you hadn't heard from him before, his eyes sadistically glaring down into yours. 
  you opened your mouth to respond, but your words were cut off with a harsh cough from the painful position you were in. 
  “c’mon ‘kawa, at least loosen your grip a little.” iwaizumi’s voice of reason brought a warmth to your chest, suddenly grateful for his presence. 
  oikawa smirked above you, moving his hand from its grip on your throat to mindlessly caress the outside of your breasts, thumb pressing against the material of your dress where your nipples would be. 
 “fine, but only ‘cause iwa-chan said so.” you glared up at him, your competitive nature fighting the fear of him choking you again.
  you cleared your throat, well aware of the burning sensation still evident in your wind pipe, “i said i wanted to be fucked, yes, but not in front of your friends.” 
  that earned a chuckle from makki and mattsun - and a smirk from oikawa and iwaizumi. 
  “but i thought you wanted to prove you werent a little prude, i thought you would want to prove my friends wrong - or are you a coward like i predicted?” his thumb and middle finger were now pinching your nipple through the thin material of your dress and your bralette, making you squirm underneath him. 
  you could feel what you only assumed to be the peak of your high reaching, it was making every touch and every word from oikawa feel and sound 10 times better than it would've before. at this point you were willing to fuck him wherever he wanted. 
  cheeks flushed, and eyes averted to the side - away from oikawa’s face, you muttered a “fine.”
  “what was that, sweetheart? i can’t hear you.”
  “i said fine.”
  makki joined in on the teasing, “wait, what did she say oikawa? i cant hear from all the way over here.” 
  god, you couldn’t stand these fuckers.
  “i said, it’s fucking fine. jesus chri-” your aggrivated screams at the men were soon cut off by oikawa’s tight grip on your jaw, a searing kiss pressed against your lips soon following.
  “enough talking, you need to take my dick now.” oikawa was breathless after engaging in the fiery kiss, he was soon found ripping off your dress.
  you felt it, you felt the peak of your high approaching. everything felt so fucking good; his hands grazing your body as he ripped your dress off, the burning stares of makki, mattsun, and iwaizumi, and the empty buzz in the back of your head - it all made you feel breathless. 
  oikawa noticed your dazed out face, he hadn't even fucked you yet and you already appeared to be full of bliss. 
  “no fair, she’s high out of her mind and i’m sober. do me a favor and roll me a blunt while i eat her out, makki.” oikawa pouted above you, continuing to discard your clothing while he waited for makki to prepare him a blunt.
  you may have been peaking, but your mind jumped at the thought of oikawa eating you out. you were suddenly becoming extremely aware of the situation at hand again. 
  “i- are you sure about-” you stuttered, shaky hands from the numbing feeling of your high came down to grip at the soft panties you wore that oikawa was attempting to rip off. 
  “‘s the matter? has our little virgin mary never had her pussy licked before?” oikawa smirked down at your burning body, both burning in embarrassment and in an immense amount of desire. 
  you decided to stay silent, gaze averting to the side once again.
  oikawa wasn't having it, he gripped your chin with his free hand - pulling your gaze back to his.
  “you were all bark before, where's the bite? don't disappoint me now, y/n” his gaze was intense, to say the least, and your body still felt like it was floating from the peak. 
  you swallowed the thickness inside your throat, building the small amount of courage you had left. 
  “i can bite, and i will.” you looked up at him with complete malice, and he mirrored your expression, adding his trademark smirk to his lips. 
  “we’ll see about that, little one.” 
  the unexpected nickname had your head spinning, you were quick to feel a familiar heartbeat thumping down towards your core. 
  you soon felt extremely aware of the way he was touching you, head lowering down towards your thighs, gently pushing your hand away from its grip on your panties. 
  it was true, you hadn't been eaten out before. you only had sex once and your boyfriend at the time finished in 30 seconds, tops - leaving you unsatisfied and humiliated. 
  but oikawa felt different, even though the sex was initiated to save your pride - a competitive desire to prove yourself to people you had just met - you could tell that behind his teasing, he cared about your pleasure. it showed in his small touches; the way he gently caressed your skin before ridiculing you, the way his eye flickered up to yours before dipping his head in-between your thighs. you sensed the emotions he held deep inside of him, the ones he kept hidden. maybe that's the reason you felt you could trust him, maybe that's why you didn't run out of his house the second you saw his sketchy friends.
  maybe that’s why you so badly wanted to prove yourself to him. 
  makki began to roll a blunt, as instructed by oikawa, as he began eating you out. mattsun and iwaizumi’s eyes burned holes into your skin as they watched.
  your body twitched after the first few licks from him, immediately becoming obsessed with the feeling. oikawa’s tongue felt warm and soft against your clit, the slow pace of the circles around the bud were driving your body crazy. your thighs instinctively went to close around his head, but he held them down with a firm grasp, only intensifying the pace of his tongue in disapproval of how your body misbehaved.
  “relax.” he drawled into your skin, continuing his assault on your clit.
  you bit your lip and nodded in response, trying to keep your calm as your body had never experienced such pleasure before. 
  oikawa expertly switched his tongue from your clit to your hole, replacing the stimulation on your clit with his thumb whilst fucking you slowly with his firm tongue. you unintentionally let out a loud whine, head thrusting back into the plush pillow of the couch and fingers going to thread in oikawa’s brown locks.
  “feels good?” the voice came from next to you, iwaizumi’s. 
  your eyes glazed over to his, lids becoming heavy and lips parting open as you panted out a “yes.”
  oikawa noticed your attention diverting over from him to his best friend, his brows furrowed in annoyance. to grasp your attention once more, he removed his tongue from your hole and replaced it on your clit again, then shoved his middle finger inside you with no warning - making sure to curl it all the way up. 
  his harsh actions against your cunt had you loudly moaning with your head thrown back in both pain and pleasure. just one of his fingers alone filled you up more than your exes entire cock ever did. 
  your eyes immediately squeezed shut at the feeling, toes curling from the sensation of his finger thrusting inside you, mixed with the feeling of his tongue swirling your clit. 
  oikawa lifted his head to click his tongue at you, “no baby, you’re gonna look at me while you cum, okay?” 
  his tone was sweet, but firm enough to make you quickly shoot your eyes open and nod at him obediently. 
  he mumbled a “good girl” before going back to licking up and down your cunt. he went through a routine of switching between circling your clit, swiping his tongue from side to side, sucking on your swollen bud, and rapidly lapping up your pussy - all while fucking you with his finger. 
  he didn't even get the chance to add a second finger before you felt your climax approaching. your head was still spacey from the high, so you weren't sure if this feeling was from oikawa or if it was just your hazy brain, but you found out sooner than later as you orgasm began to take over you. 
  oikawa got the idea that you were reaching your climax as your little hole pulsed around his finger and your legs shook around his head. as much as he wanted to tease and edge you, he decided he wanted to fuck you more.
  he helped you ride out your orgasm as his tongue prodded at your clit relentlessly, licking and sucking at the firm bud, finger curling further and further into the depths of your gummy walls, 
  euphoria took over you as you felt the numbing feeling from your high intertwine with the body-racking orgasm that oikawa was providing you. your entire body felt lighter than it ever had before; sweet, pure release exiting your body. 
  your head was spinning and your chest was heaving from the aftermath, your body began to feel extremely tired. the weight from the entire day you had came crashing over you, as the sweet release you once felt subsided. you felt good, but you needed a nap. 
  through eyes that were barely open, you watched as oikawa smirked down at your disheveled form and carefully grabbed something from makki’s outstretched hand. 
  “glad you enjoyed that, princess, but it’s my turn now.” oikawa stealthily unbuttoned his pants after placing his blunt in-between his lips, strategically sucking in the smoke and blowing it out without having to remove the object from his lips. 
  you nodded at him, half-understanding what he meant. you were by no means sober, but you definitely felt the strong buzz dying down. 
  “i’m gonna need verbal responses, sweetheart.” he leaned down just above your face, breathing out smoke as he got closer. the strong scent filled up your nostrils.
  you couldn't help but scrunch your nose up at the strong smell, you may have been sucking down a blunt yourself not even 30 minutes ago, but you would never get used to the grotesque odor. 
  oikawa noticed, and raised a curious brow at you. 
  “ah, so we still think weed is gross? after you smoked almost an entire blunt by yourself?” his tone seemed amusing, but his eyes told a whole different story.
  “god, first she wastes our weed and now she acts like she didn't even like it?” mattsun crossed his arms over his chest while facing you, eyes giving your naked body a once over. 
  you were too blissed out to even fight them this time, you just desperately wanted a nap, 
  “hey, all i said was that i’d prove to you guys i’m not a prude, and i did. doesn't mean i have to like the smell of your stinky weed.” your words were mumbled from your tired state, but still not wanting to accept defeat.
  “nah, i don't think you’ve proved yourself at all yet.” makki chuckled dryly at you.
  “yeah, all you've done is get high and be a fucking pillow princess for oikawa.” mattsun chimed in.
  “and a brat too.” makki added on to mattsun’s sentence. 
  oikawa raised his chin cockily, clearly satisfied with his friend’s insolent words. 
  then, an idea clicked in his mischievous mind. he narrowed his eyes down at your pathetic figure sprawled out underneath him as he thought about it. 
  “oh please, don't be sore losers. i smoked your fucking weed and let oikawa eat me out, just admit i’m not a prude like you thought i was.” you tried to regain the similar confident composure that you held before, glaring over at makki and mattsun. 
  “hmm, maybe you aren't a prude, but you're still a pretentious brat, and brats deserve to be tamed. don't you think?” oikawa’s voice was smooth and easy-going, but his words were dripping with malice.
  you found the courage to narrow your eyes back up at oikawa, despite the internal feeling of your heart hammering against your chest.
  “and how do you plan on doing that?” you tested him.
  he chuckled lowly at your obviously feigned confidence, he could just tell by your flushed cheeks.
  he lowered his face to hover above yours for the nth time that night, placing the blunt in-between his lips and sucking the smoke into his mouth. before even inhaling, he pulled your bottom lip down with his thumb and put his lips on yours, releasing the thick smoke into your mouth. 
  your once lidded eyes were now widened, your hand quickly came up to grab at oikawa’s arm. he pulled away quickly, chuckling at how you choked on the smoke - eyes watering up again just as they had done before. 
  “you-” you choked out another cough, “asshole.”
  oikawa raised an eyebrow at you, reveling in the way his best friends laughed from the sidelines at your expense.
  “mmm, i don't think you're in any position to be calling me names.”
  you glared up at him, quickly blinking away the stray tears that remained in-between your lashes.
  “oh, and what position would that be?” the fire you held before was coming back, and this time it wasn't because you wanted to prove yourself.
  no, you just wanted to see how far you could push him. 
  a familiar large hand came up instinctively to wrap around your throat, pushing you against the couch once again as he tauntingly held the burning blunt inches away from your face. 
  “i wouldn't test me, darling. clearly, you aren't aware of how far i'll go to put a bitch like you in your place.” he spat down at you, his eyes were dark and he was still holding the glowing blunt way too close to your face for your liking.
  but you couldn't stop yourself, you kept pushing and pushing. 
  “show me then. i’m not getting any younger here, am i?” 
  a laugh was heard from your right, it was quickly muffled as mattsun slapped a hand over the mouth of its carrier: makki, of course.
  oikawa clicked his tongue at your confidence, knowing damn well that you'd regret it later. 
  “sure, i’ll show you.” he spoke in a low voice as he brought the hand holding his blunt down your body, stopping when he reached your thigh. you sucked in a nervous breath in anticipation, the burning bud was only a centimeter away from the smooth skin of your exposed thigh. your heartbeat was increasing and you felt your blood running cold, you opened your mouth to protest at the last moment, but the sadistic man beat you to it.
  you felt a burning sensation press into the outside of your thigh, causing you to immediately grab at oikawa’s arm with a shrill scream escaping your mouth. the man only laughed above you, nudging your death grip on his arm off with ease.
  “what’s the matter? i thought you could handle it.” he jutted his bottom lip out to feign a sorrowful expression, you wanted to kill him. 
  “you just- you just fucking burned me.” your chest was heaving and you felt yourself slowly getting terrified at what would come next.
  the boys next to you were silent as they watched the scene unfold, oikawa could only smirk down at you. 
  he pulled another hit out of the blunt and dipped his head in-between the crevice of your neck and shoulder. you tensed at the feeling of his lips being so close to your skin, then relaxed when you felt him blow the warm smoke into your skin. the subtle feeling of the warmth from the smoke ghosting over your skin almost made you moan out loud. instead, your body betrayed you with a shudder.
  “mmm, something tells me you liked that. don't act so innocent, little slut.” your breath hitched at his words.
  “just because i may have liked that, doesn't mean i enjoyed being used as an ashtray.” you gestured towards your scorned thigh.  
  he chuckled lowly at you, then brought his free hand down towards the burn mark left in your skin and pressed his thumb against it slowly. this time, the painful feeling of a sting in your skin forced a guttural moan out of your throat, instead of a screech. you instinctively brought your hand up to cover your mouth, eyes wide in embarrassment. 
  “really? ‘cause i think you do.” oikawa laughed at your obvious humiliation and pulled your hand away from your mouth, rolling his eyes in the process.  
  “c’mon, quit acting like a damn prude still, darling. admit you're enjoying this shit.” mattsun spoke from his spot on the couch, now resting his right arm over the side of the couch to get a better look at you. 
  you scoffed at him, cocking your head towards him in response. 
  “i thought i was a brat, not a prude anymore.” 
  makki chuckled at your rebuttal.
  “’kawa, i think she’s getting a little too feisty again, you might wanna smoke her out again.” 
  you almost choked at his words, quickly whipping your head back to face oikawa. you felt your stomach drop at the devilish smirk he gave you. 
  you were just beginning to sober up, and they already wanted you dumbed down again? 
  “fair point, makki. i can't fuck her while she’s running her mouth like this, right?”
  before you knew it, your mouth was being filled with smoke again. oikawa restarted his method of sucking on the blunt before pressing his lips to yours again. your mind was entering a similar haze as before once again, body also being filled with warmth and pleasure as oikawa began rubbing his bare cock against your pussy. 
  before sliding in, he pressed his shortening blunt against your skin once more - this time, on the fat of your right hip. you pleasantly moaned at both the pain and pleasure from the sensation this time, and oikawa couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of your walls visibly crashing down. 
  he didn't even give you a second to adjust to the searing pain you felt on your skin before he was thrusting into you, causing you to practically scream at the feeling of his cock stretching you out. 
  “oh, f-fuck.” your nails made their home on the skin of his back, sinking into his smooth flesh in response to the pain you felt in your core. to your dismay, the numbing feeling that spread across your body from your high didn't help at all to prevent the newfound pain from oikawa’s cock entering you. 
  “god, look at her. our little virgin mary is being corrupted.” mattsun’s deep voice was heard from across the couch. you were surprised to look over and see him fisting his own girthy cock while staring down at you, makki and iwa were doing the exact same thing. 
  oikawa chuckled breathlessly at his comment, earning your attention back to him. 
  “shit, you're tighter than i expected, princess.” his bottom lip was caught between his teeth, his eyes were slightly hooded from his approaching high, and his tattoo littered arms were flexed in front of you for support - you decided you had never been more turned in your entire life. 
  “move, please.” you begged breathlessly, head feeling hazy and numb, while your body felt extremely sensitive to the touch. your senses were heightened once again and it had you craving an orgasm more than ever. 
   “since you asked so politely.” oikawa’s hips began snapping at that moment, hard thrusts sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. 
  next to you, the three boys began pumping their cocks with more fervor, pace quickening in time with oikawa’s. 
  oikawa didn't cease his antics of blowing smoke into your mouth either. with his cock slamming into you at such an ungodly speed, your lips were constantly parted open - leaving him easy access to fill up your lungs with the same smoke you disdained so much. 
  your body was betraying your mind. physically, you felt fucking amazing - but mentally, you wanted to yell at oikawa to quit his abuse on your lungs. 
  “q-quit it with the smoke. i think i’m high enough.” you stumbled over your words.
  oikawa bit down on your neck in response to your distaste, hot breath fanning over your ear to whisper lowly, “quit being a fucking brat first, and take what i give you.” 
  you shut your mouth obediently, until makki chimed in.
  “you should be grateful that oikawa is being so generous as to blow his weed into your mouth without making you do a damn thing. say thank you, slut.” his words were harsh and gritted through his clenched teeth as he pumped his cock harder, eyes burning into your skin. 
  you whimpered at his pitiless words and at the feeling of oikawa thrusting into you with more power, clearly encouraged by his friends praise.
  “i-” your remark was cut off by oikawa’s firm hand around your throat once more.
  “what do you have to say to me?” his eyes burned into yours, telling you that his question was not actually a question, but a demand. 
  “t-thank you, oikawa.” your eyes were brimming with tears from the lack of oxygen circulating towards your brain. 
  he only squeezed harder.
  “what's my fucking name.” his lips were ghosting over yours now, his hot breath only added to the heat that was already evident on your face. 
  your bottom lip wobbled, you had no idea what kind of name he would like. if you guessed wrong, what would he do?
  “thank you, sir.” you silently prayed you chose the right one, and your prayer was granted as oikawa removed his tight grip from your throat and smashed his lips onto yours - practically growling into the kiss. 
  you moaned into his mouth as you felt the pleasure in your stomach building up at an increasingly fast speed. your head was spinning and your body was on fire, you never felt better in your life.
  “feels...so fucking good.” your words came out in pants. you could barely think straight anymore; your mind was only filled with oikawa’s cock and the impending numbness from weed. 
  your attention was snatched from oikawa as you heard a deep guttral moan come from the side of you, it was iwaizumi’s. the once quiet man was becoming more vocal as his own orgasm was approaching.
  “yeah, you like getting high and getting fucked in front of random strangers you just met, huh?” your face burned at his surprising words, never did you expect to hear such a sentence come from (what you thought was) such a polite man’s mouth. 
  then again, you never even expected you would ever be in a situation like this before either. 
  “y-yes, i do.” your walls had broken down and they could all see it. there was no more sticking your nose up at them anymore, no more bratty comments at the expense of their drug of choice, and no more pretending like you weren't enjoying yourself tonight - because you clearly were. 
  the boys chuckled all at once at your sudden submission, but oikawa wasn't surprised. 
  there was only a small bud left of what was the blunt in oikawa’s hand, but he manage to suck one more hit out of it. you parted your lips with expectations of him to release the puff of smoke into your mouth, but to your surprise, he ducked his head above your left breast and let out the smoke slowly over your perked nipple. the subtle sensation left goosebumps all over your body, causing you to moan under his soft touch.
  see, unbeknownst to you, oikawa was a man of observation - and he couldn't help but become blatantly aware of your body’s hypersensitivity to the small, subtle actions he went about. whether it be from the weed or from your inexperience in sexual situations, oikawa didn't know. he just knew he was extremely fascinated and infatuated with the way your body reacted to him. 
  he bored down into your lidded, reddening eyes, your lips were parted as you panted out his name and the look on your face only told him that you were gone.
  he swore he had never fucked somebody prettier than you, he silently hoped one day he'd get to see you with your lips wrapped around his cock. 
  unable to help himself, oikawa stuck his thumb into your mouth, pushing the digit as far in as it would go. 
  you were taken aback by the action at first, but your mind was quickly put at ease by the warm feeling of being filled by him in two different places at once. you swirled your tongue around his finger, both sucking on it and licking it.
  the sight in front of him had his knees practically buckling above you, he couldn't fight the approaching feeling of his orgasm unraveling before him. 
  “you're gonna be a good little girl and let me cum inside you, yeah?” his voice was hoarse, moans and grunts beginning to spill from his lips more while he looked down at you with complete darkness in his eyes. 
  god, you weren't thinking straight.
  but you really didn't care. 
  you nodded as best as you could with the spinning feeling inside your head, body filling to the brim with pleasure as you felt your own orgasm approaching you. oikawa quickened his pace as he felt your cunt squeezing his girth, almost like your body had a mind of its own to suck him dry. 
  “such a little slut, letting you fill her up with smoke and cum.” mattsun’s deep voice was heard from beside iwaizumi. his eyes were still glued to your form and the head of his cock was a bright red, begging for release. 
  “let’s see you try and act fucking innocent again after this.” makki added with a chuckle, he was just as close to finishing as his friend. 
  you moaned helplessly at their ridicules, feeling your coil so close to snapping.
  “god, you fucking revel in the attention don't you? you're literally getting off from being watched like this, so exposed and vulnerable.” mattsun spoke up again.
  yours and oikawa’s labored breathing harmonized as you both got closer and closer to your releases. 
  “they're right, you're such a little fucking attention whore. sucking in my cock like that while my friends watch. you're so desperate, it’s pathetic.” oikawa was internally amazed at himself for being able to muster a complete sentence out while his cock was so close to being practically milked. 
  you whined in response, your cheeks heating up. you didn't care about anything else, you just wanted to cum. 
  “p-please, i'm so close.” you cried out, tears beginning to brim at your eyes. 
  “fuck. cum, cum princess.” the voice came from your right side, your eyes trailed over to the source, being iwaizumi. 
  oikawa scoffed, “you don't listen to anyone else, got that? just me, sweetheart.” he shot daggers with his eyes towards iwaizumi, and he shot them right back at oikawa. 
  you blinked your eyes at oikawa, not realizing the competitive banter between them until now.
  “let her fucking cum already, ‘kawa.” iwa growled at his best friend, his cock was an angry red. you could tell he just wanted to finish, as well as makki and mattsun. 
  oikawa gritted his teeth, knowing damn well that his orgasm was approaching too. 
  “alright, cum for me, slut. squeeze my fucking cock with that pretty little cunt of yours, okay?” 
  his wish was your command, and it’s not like you were able to hold back anymore, anyway.
  you felt the coil snap inside you; already fuzzy mind going completely blank, mouth dropping open in a silent scream, and thighs shaking around oikawa’s torso. he felt your cunt pulse around his cock and he couldn't help how quick his orgasm followed after yours, teeth instinctively latching onto your shoulder as he pumped you full of his semen. 
  oikawa helped you ride out your high as he slowed down his thrusts, eventually ceasing them. your orgasm combined with oikawa’s was so intense, that you failed to even acknowledge that the three boys next to you were coming too, fists beginning to slow down their movements. 
  after a few minutes of collective panting heard throughout the room, makki broke the silence.
  “holy shit.”
  you agreed, holy shit was right. 
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  after passing out on oikawa’s couch from pure exhaustion, the sobering-up man carried you, with some effort, to his room to spend the night. being the gentleman he was, he tucked you in carefully under the covers of his bed and set up a somewhat comfortable sleeping arrangement for himself on the living room couch. 
  before retreating to his makeshift bed to crash on for the night, he peaked into his room once more - eyes scanning over your sleeping figure as you slept soundly. he noticed that while you slept, all the worry and pouting that was usually so evident on your face seemed to fade away. you look relaxed, at ease even. he thought maybe you just needed to loosen up more, to let your worries fade away every so often, while you lose yourself in the late hours of the night.
  he thought that maybe, he could be the one to teach you how. 
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kinktae · 4 years
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beyond the story: bitchin’
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Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.
Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.
CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS
Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.
The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.
On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !) 
“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.
Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.
“Partners.”
God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D
CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT
Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.
You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.
The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.
“How old do you think your sister is?”
“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.
Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.
FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.
CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE
I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.
“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.
“Yep. Three.”
“Tell me about them.”
Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.
I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.
“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”
“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.
“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.
“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”
You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.
Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.
“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.
It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.
“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”
Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.
Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.
From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.
“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”
“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.
“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”
“And your mom?”
“She works at a convenience store.”
All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.
“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.
“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”
“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.
“Remember it.” He warned.
“Why?”
“It’s when I fell in love with you.”
This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.
OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖ 
CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY
The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.
I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.
Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.
Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.
CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME
Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.
“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.
“The sun?” You laughed.
“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”
Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.
“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”
And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.
No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) 
“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.
Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.
“Yara?”
“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”
Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.
Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”
Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.
"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.
“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.
“You think?”
“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.
“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”
You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.
“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.
GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.
CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT
I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.
Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).
Then the event scene.
“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”
Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”
“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.
“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she���s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.
An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.
“I’m happy for you, bro.”
Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c
I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.
Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.
“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.
“Temper?”
“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”
Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.
CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE
This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.
You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.
Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.
“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”
You nodded.
“You’re proposing, right?”
“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.
Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.
“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.
“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”
“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.
“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.
“What about us?”
Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.
MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.
Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(
“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”
Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.
“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.
“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.
It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.
But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.
CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE
BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.
You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.
God, he had missed the taste of you.
What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.
But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.
Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.
“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.
“…Oh.”
You shook your head.
“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.
“Y/N–”
“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.
Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.
“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.
GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.
“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.
“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”
“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”
And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?
IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.
CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK
Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.
Scene one: Kiri confrontation
Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)
Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library
Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.
Scene three: Meeting with Erik
So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖ 
I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.
I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.
CHAPTER TEN – THE END
RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.
You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.
THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?”  IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.
You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.
“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.
“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”
“I’m—”
“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”
Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.
“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.
Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.
“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”
Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.
Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.
The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.
You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.
“I slept with Erik.”
Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.
“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.
Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.
I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.
The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).
"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.
"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.
"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.
I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.
Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.
“Partners?”
The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.
Idiot.
“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.
UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.
AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...
10 YEARS LATER
Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him
You said yes (shocker)
Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding
You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon
Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3
SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT
Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor
And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke
“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”
“Yara, it’s okay.”
“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”
Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby
Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant
Taehyung is the dad lol
Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3
They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)
Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect
Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up
“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”
“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”
Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender
Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be
“JK, breathe.”
“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”
“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”
Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(
(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)
Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time
You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet
The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real
The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already
But you guys figured it out
You always do
He’s your person. And you are his.
Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up
Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you
The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight
The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good
Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively
Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera
The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are
You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub
Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide
“What?”
“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy
Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted
Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.
“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”
The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor
“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“
His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar
You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband
“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver
“I love you too.”
“Let’s make a baby.”
“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”
Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest
“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”
“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”
“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”
“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”
Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips
Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it
Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook
Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk
The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present
You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago
Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband
And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy
And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together
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