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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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These two kids are Hamza (the oldest) and Qusai (the youngest).
Their mother shares this video and bids them goodbye. They were both killed by Israeli bombardment 5 days ago. She says:
[Two days before Hamza and Qusai were killed, hamza asked me: "mom, when we die, where will I go?" And I told him: "you will be a bird in heaven, my love." He said: "and Qusai?" "Just like you inshallah."
And indeed, two days later, he left and took his brother with him. It's like he was preparing me for saying goodbye to both of them. Heaven is more beautiful than any place on this Earth, habibi. We will meet and be reunited one day, me, your dad and you two].
Our kids don't deserve to die already thinking about what will happen to them, they don't deserve to die already terrified, anticipating their death because the world failed them and decided their lives mean nothing. We are not numbers. Remember their names and their stories.
#if any of you have information/ a story of a Palestinian live lost send it to me and i will share it too#we have to keep their memory alive with us#Palestinian lives#palestine#gaza#israel#important#current events#free palestine#ethnic cleansing#free gaza#gaza strip#gaza under attack#gaza under genocide#usa#america#joe biden#video#we are not numbers#free palestine 🇵🇸
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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there has been more moments than i can count in the past seven months where i felt destroyed by all the death and carnage i've seen due to the colonialism and imperialism of the world. but there was something in particular about hind's death that made me think the world would stop turning bc how could anything continue given how gruesome and inhumane her death was? and yet, the world did not stop. and i thought we were once again left to remember her story only in our minds as she became another number, as her murderers went on killing unpunished, and as her mother grieved with rage when all she wanted was to keep her daughter warm and as safe as she could manage in this man-made hell on earth.
however, hind, a girl who only got to experience her kindergarten graduation, is now being immortalized in universities across the nation. her story did resonate to the masses and we will not let her be forgotten nor forgive those complicit in her death. real justice would be having hind alive, but these students are showing that they will stop the world and burn the status quo it upholds to the ground if it means her people can truly be liberated.
#any mention of her always makes me bawl like it will forever haunt me how terrified she was yet still believed help was coming#so seeing these kids coordinate specifically to keep her memory alive is just so beautiful and hopeful#seeing the hall of my alma mater where i had my worst physics lab discussion ever changed to her name just broke me lol#may the memory of that building only be of her now <3#u of m agreed to divest so let's pray this will only lead to more justice for hind and the palestinians!#free palestine
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its not my fault i keep playing against Daniel Day-Lewis mfs
#ive got 160+ hours as medic....i know what im doing but some spies are actually just brilliant actors and play in a non meta way#and im so busy keeping your arse alive that if they're going full method on the team - i heal them!#the amount of times people have given out at me is crazy....you didnt spot them either bruv#im not talking about those two times i ubered an enemy spy....corner of shame#ty for the 5k lads#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavy so annoyed he lives through 3 backstabs to yell
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happy 9 years
here's to 990 more
#my art#undertale#chara dreemurr#asriel dreemurr#i would say ' would you believe me if i told you i started drawing this before the newsletter' but if you know me at all you would LOL#i don't have much to say this year. this is a continuation / answer to the one from last year#i don't tend to do 'finished pieces' like this these days but i can't eschew my tradition even if it was a bit like pulling teeth#it could have turned out worse lol#thanks undertale for keeping me alive and giving me most of the good things i still have
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Erik is so cunty because he knows Charles would never let anything happen to him. He can stand there and roll a coin through shaw’s head because yeah Charles isn’t gonna let shaw kill him. He can drop a STADIUM around the WHITE HOUSE because Charles knows what they’ll do if they catch Erik and that certainly can’t happen . He can become a horseman of the god damn apocalypse if he really wants to, because Charles will be available to fight his new boss when things go sour
Literally you can’t touch Erik when Charles is around, and he knows it and uses it to his advantage in the bitchiest way possible and honestly that’s so much funnier than him just loving Charles back so i get it
#cherik#xmen#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#xmcu#on a serious note the love Charles has for Erik being the thing that often keeps him alive kills me
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The Odyssey // The Odyssey, if Odysseus' men hadn't opened the bag of winds
#just hear me out#guys have already seen their island#it's freaking treasure#odysseus was awake for 9 days for it#how this man is still alive#odysseus#the odyssey#aeolus#ithaca#epic the musical#keep your friends close#epic the ocean saga#jorge rivera herrans#sonchop screaming#epic: the musical#tagamemnon
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every time i think abt their canon height difference i want to eat drywall
#ISTG I COULD NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THE ANATOMY RIGHT FOR THIS ONE IDK WHY😭😭#anyway they make me sick in the head i try to go one day without thinking abt them and my rotting brain starts shutting down#they're like the iv drip that's keeping my sickly malnourished deteriorating body alive#live laugh love soukoku#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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Light of the Kshahrewar ✨
#thanks kaveh for being the light of my life and my lighting study subject#guess who just found out that learning art fundamental is super important??#me 🙋♀️#damn i really need to study more#my art stopped progressing for ages#myart#genshin impact#kaveh#thank god genshin has been keeping me alive and not burned out haha
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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ginger n spice 🫚🌰
#romione#ron weasley#hermione granger#harry potter#harry potter and the order of the phoenix#hp ootp#harry potter ootp#ronmione#ron x hermione#hermione x ron#harry potter fanart#hp fanart#hp art#my art#i just have so much art#pls bear with me#i’m going through a tough time irl and drawing compulsively is what’s keep me well. alive#that sounds dark but it’s true#procreate#artists on tumblr#illustration#character design#character art
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resemblance (lol)
#my little pony#mlp g4#zecora#queen chrysalis#chrysalcora#drew this over a year ago when my friend propegated her monstera and potted it for me#she said they were so hard to kill that even I would be able to keep it alive#and she was right! it's sitting happily by my window as we speak :)#(even if i forget it exists for months at a time)#anyway this is still my favorite crack ship. I would draw them more but one of them is much easier to draw than the other smh
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Safe & Sound 💙
I just really wanted someone to give Echo a blanket so why not let it be Rex
Closeups T-T:
Bonus Doodle:
#swaddle him with love#star wars#captain rex#arc trooper echo#echo tbb#echo tcw#the clone wars#fanart#artists on tumblr#2024#yes those are tears in his eyes i liKED the detail#next time i draw the Marauder it will be in spot with better ref;-;#this came to me in a dream#drawing all his ports and wires made me cry a little ngl#but i had to focus on the goal#which is echo getting the blanket he deserved#rex has gotta help him cuz he's just got the one hand ;;#i wanted Rex's experession to be struggling to stay controlled#we all know how much having Echo alive means to him#but he's gotta keep it together cuz he's Rex and thats how he is#but in the knit of his eyebrows and his smile i wanted there to be something underneath#i hope i got that across#for Echo I was channeling the awkward charm of his headache line#and chibis are all in good fun#shhh if u saw me post this early no u didnt
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idk about yall but life is good again
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#HES SMILINIG MINUNGGJSGJVSFVSFJH#MY DARLING BOY MY SON WHOM I BIRTHED I LOVE YOU#fushiguro megumi the way i would kill/cry/die fr u ur smile cures depression waters crops etc etc#your zuko costumes pretty good but the scars on the wrong side...................#cant believe i lost the scar side coin flip smh leave it to me who does not know her lefts from her rights 2 predict the Wrong Side#sue me fr thinking yuuji lost an eye fr good n wanting them 2 have complementary injuries smh >:/#its ok im over it im over it im just so happy we got scarred!megu im so happy we got smiling!megu im so happy we got ALIVE MEGU#oh my god ive been up all night hand hurt hand ouch but its fr him its worth it i can keep going i can go all day if i need to#god its a good day 2 b a megumi stan
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Aldiirn's No Good No Fun Time in the mountains. Just not great at all for an underdark guy off his meds and in a hive of oh so many scary violent women.
More comics!
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanart#c:aldiirn#crowbart#sketch#doodle comic#those cutting remarks keep people ALIVE#also its funny to me that without spells his go-to action is inspiring lae'zel#he is trying SO HARD to not be shanked by her
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