#it's like a physical reaction for some reason

[wintfleur]

🍂 ͡ ꒱ JULIETTES RELATIONSHIP WITH HER BROTHERS

au masterlist - everything for the AU is under #🍂 ͡ ꒱ Juliette Leclerc

𐙚 LORENZO!

Lorenzo . . . ‘Enzo’ is the best big brother, he’s such a role model for her, and she’s always looked up to him.

He’s always been her voice of reason and encouragement, helping her calm down her emotions and not do anything rash, to help her understand what she’s feeling and to listen to what she says and, to always be there to cheer her up and help her out of those dark feelings.

Enzo was the first person she told when she realized she also wanted to kart.

Enzo helped teach her how to drive with there father, Arthur and Charles to scared to get in the car, claiming that she’s ‘going to kill them and drive into a store’ Julie did end up threatening to kill them in a more private and painful way because of all there teasing. Neither of them got in a car with her for months.

Julie gets sister privileges !!!

They have there weekly calls, checking in and making sure everything is good.

Enzo is the best advice giver! And she knows she can talk to him about anything

She loves just curling up in his side.

Just the sweetest big brother ever.

Has have had to pick Julie up at parties when she’s gotten too drunk . . . many times.

They both definitely laugh and tease the other two when they are being dramatic

He loves his little sister very much and will do anything for her!

𐙚 CHARLES!

Out of all her siblings, she’s definitely the closest to Charles, ever since they were kids.

Yes they had their fair share of arguments and fights, but they have always stuck up for each other no matter what, they can only mess with each other . . . no one else!

They’re each other’s safe place, they both understand the pressure they are both under, and they really help each other out.

Charles was the first person Julie told when she realized that she liked girls as well. And he was the one who helped her gain the courage to come out.

Charles is always the first person to defend her, from the media, interviewers, from anyone. He will not have his sister disrespected.

They both absolutely love their family, planning outings and get togethers for all of them!

They see each other the most

They had a tree house! And would always tease Arthur about not being cool enough to come up and hang with them.

He’s the most nosey brother, wanting to know everything going on in her life . . . but he means well !

They have had some moments where their career has put some strain on their relationship, but it doesn’t last long. It’s just because Julie hates talking about her feelings, and Charles loves talking about hers . . . aka avoidance from Julie.

He loves having sleepovers at her homes!

Sassy duo fr!

They are always messing with each other! And the media absolutely loves it.

You know that tiktok sound ‘this is bob, bob loves his personal space. This is Larry, Larry also loves bob’s personal space’ that’s them, bob is Julie and Larry is Charles.

Sees Julie’s soft side the most

𐙚 ARTHUR!

That’s her baby . . . no one messes with her baby (yes she’s only a year older . . . but still, he’s her baby)

Julie is Arthur’s favorite sibling and he’s very open about it, Arthur was quite the emotional kid and despite his outburst or over reactions, Julie was always there for him, to help him out, calm him down and, to let him know that he’s not crazy about his feelings

Julie has always been there for Arthur to listen to his worry’s about driving and what his future is in the sport, he trusts her opinion and thoughts more than anyone else.

Arthur hates how every single one of his friends are in love with Julie, and Julie just loves teasing him about it, always giving them a sweet smile and wave.

Arthur is quite clingy towards Julie, physically and emotionally.

Always wanting to sit next to her, get her attention, all of it. I mean, she’s the cool older sister.

He loves practicing his English with her!

He’s also like her biggest fan

He can get a little petty and upset if things don’t go his way with her . . . aka he’s super dramatic.

Arthur loves all of her cooking and baking, like he could eat it all.

First time he got really drunk, he called up Julie and cried, only crying harder when she giggled and tried to reassure him.

He’s always the last one to warm up to Julie’s significant others.

They love watching movies!

Arthur is quite attached to julie, has a fear that she will leave them.

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( this is pretty short, but I hope it gives you a good idea of Julie’s relationship with her brothers !! She’s a family woman definitely !! Please let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist )

°. �� taglist ( @lovings4turn @toasttt11 @cixrosie @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @theopenlocker @lavisenri @callsignwidow )

[rainba]

Hihihihi!!! How would the sillies respond to a darling who's self destructive (both socially and physically, like self harm and self sabotage)? I love ur OCS btw ur writing is amazing 💘

Aww, thank youuu!! :3c

And thank you for the ask!! It's really made me think....

Huge warning for these responses, they are very… Dark. If these topics make you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip this one!

TWs/tags: self-harm, toxic behaviors from the yans.. Lots of angst (plus comfort)

For Kairos, it’d be a really unhealthy situation. He, too, engages in really self-destructive behaviors, and if his darling also does it, he’d only end up enabling you even further. In some way, Kairos would see it as “beautiful”, the two of you suffering together at your own hands... He’d be one of those people that would watch you cut yourself and then kiss your scars right after… And then he’d cut himself in the same places, just so you two can “match.”

And if you’re socially self-destructive? Pushing everybody away because you just feel like everyone secretly hates you, or for some other reason? It’s okay– all you need is Kairos, anyway! You can destroy all of your other relationships, so long as you keep Kairos close to you.

He’ll love you forever and ever, you never have to worry about him leaving you. If you push him away, he’ll keep coming back. You could be at your absolute worst, and he’d still view you as a perfect angel. It’s… Not healthy. But he can’t help it.

However– if you were to ever put yourself into any life-threatening situations, or if you genuinely wanted to die, he'd become downright terrified and would try his best to make you stop your self-destructive behaviors. After all, he loves you too much– he doesn’t want you to die. The two of you need to live long, happy lives together! If engaging in all these self-destructive things with you might lead to your death, he’ll do everything in his power to make it stop, and he'll also make sure that the both of you get better. He'll hold your hand every step of the way, recovering alongside you. And he'd never judge you for relapsing.

Basically, it's sort of like this: if you want to get worse, Kairos will also get worse. If you want to get better, Kairos will do everything in his power to help you, and he’d also try to help himself along the way. It’s almost like he’s mirroring you, in some ways.

As for Luka, he’d have a totally opposite reaction to Kairos. He would be enraged that you actively hurt yourself. He’d handle it pretty badly. If he found out that you actively harm yourself, he would refuse to take his eyes off of you and would be monitoring your every movement... You'd suddenly never get a moment to yourself.

When you’re using the bathroom, he’ll be standing next to you the whole time. When you shower, he’ll be showering with you. When you go to sleep, he'll be caging you in his arms.

If you have a job, he might actually force you to quit, just so he can monitor you even further. Either that, or he’ll make you take a temporary leave from work until he knows that you’ve stopped hurting yourself.

It’s… Absolutely not a good way to go about it, he knows this, but it’s the only thing he can think of doing. It's his gut reaction to it all.

Luka would keep asking you ‘why’ as he holds you tightly in his arms, glaring at you while also having pitiful tears in his eyes. For one of the first times in his life, he feels so deeply hurt and confused. He isn't prepared at all to handle the feelings that are bubbling within himself. Luka would also start losing lots of sleep.

When you’re sleeping peacefully in bed beside him, he’d sit up and bed and just… Stare at you for hours.

Slowly, he'd start kissing your cheeks, stroking your hair, and then holding you close as he tries not to be upset with you. He knows that you’re hurting… And he loathes how helpless he feels. While he’s not the biggest advocate for therapy, he would ask you to go see a therapist. He knows that he alone can’t help you– and that it’s impossible for him to just monitor you every second of every day.

If you refuse to see a therapist, he’ll be upset, but he won't force you to go. All he tells you is that if you need it, he’ll listen to you– even though he’s horrible at giving good advice. But at the very least, he’s really good at just listening to you. He’ll remember everything you tell him. And any time you show signs of improvement, he will be proud of you.

As for socially sabotaging yourself, it’s the same as Kairos. All you really need is Luka, so… He won’t stop you from cutting everyone else off. ^^;;

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader ⛏️

(Love Language Pt. II Edition!)

(Not my picture!)

(Here’s Pt. II, I’ll try to get a crack on the other pieces I’m planning on doing soon! For now, enjoy this!)

Their love language: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gift Giving, and Words of Affirmation (Pt. I here!)

Gift Giving

- Alright so, we all know that presence of Venture is a gift itself, they also love giving you other gifts. This love language is the most obvious one when it comes to Venture, they just love giving things to people.

- And, you being their number one you’re no exception, you get the most stuff in all honesty.

- The amount of rock kids you guys have alone tells all you need to know.

- Their gifts specifically either hold a lot of sentimental value, or they saw it and went, “Yeah, reader would like that.”

- They take mental note of everything you like, even the littlest of things, like if you walk past a shop and something catches your eye, something unnoticeable for most, but to them? They’ll come back later to see if they can get it for you.

- Overthinks about what to get you when it comes to special gifts for the holidays, with Valentine’s Day, the day dedicated to stuff like this being the perfect example.

- They just want to give you something that you like, what you’d get use from however you see fit, and something that signifies how much they care for you and that’s reasonably a very hard thing to do.

- But also, they love receiving stuff from you in return, they do not care what it is, but the idea of you taking time to get them something is just so wonderful to them.

- Though it’s definitely a bonus if it’s based on the things they like, for example, new expedition tools, camping gear, hell even their favorite ice cream.

- Eventually, it gets to a point where you guys have specific spots at your places dedicated to some of the various gifts you’ve gotten each other and it is honestly the best.

Words of Affirmation

- Another obvious one, they’re a naturally very positive person and they just love to encourage people (besides Mauga of course), so obviously wouldn’t be weird to have uplifting words being thrown at you by them.

- There’s the usual “You’re doing great!” And “Keep it up, you can do it!”, but the more personal words of affection like “You did so well, I’m so proud of you mi vida!” Is understandably reserved for you.

- They take pride in being your partner and they make that abundantly clear by their words, and doing it right back at them is a great way of shooting an arrow in their heart and a lovestruck giggle from them.

- They have so many pet names for you in both English and Spanish, switching from both languages interchangeably, sometimes if they’re feeling overly excited they even end up changing from one language to the other in one sentence alone.

- The pet names are: Mi corazón, Sweetness, Mi vida, Amor, Babe, and other affectionate and personalized things but these five are the most used.

- If you guys work together, whether it be at Overwatch or as a fellow archeologist, I think alongside being encouraging and supportive of you they like complimenting and flirting with you. Mostly because physical PDA isn’t the place for both, they make do with being with you and fawning over you lol.

- That and they just love talking to you and getting your honest reaction to their honey-coated words.

- They just say anything that comes to mind, they don't see the point of refraining from doing so after all.

- Again, love letters are a part of this, scribbling down what they're feeling at the moment, and by the time it's done it's like affectionate word vomit.

- It doesn't matter though, they mean well and it's usually the cutest shit ever.

(Alright!! Here we are, Sloane is really bringing something out of me that is hellbent on being consistent for once and I gotta say, I like it. Hope you guys do too.)

[mactavishenjoyer]

Continuation of this but after Ghost convinces Soap he's telling the truth. Idk I'm just bored at this point

Ghost had expected a different reaction when Soap finally believed him. He doesn't know what he expected but it definitely wasn't Soap drunk out his mind crying into his chest. "My ghost is fucking gone." He said through sobs and gasps of air. Ghost hadn't really thought that deeply about it but it was likely the ghost who's body he was in was in his and that wasn't very lucky for him. Ghost wasn't good at comforting. He wasn't really good at the whole feelings thing. Maybe hugging was the proper response?

"You feel like him but I know you aren't. You sound like him too but you don't act like him. I wanted to marry him and now I just have to throw everything I wanted out cuz he's probably dead. Yet I have to look at someone puppeteering his corps every fucking day. I don't even get to have a fucking funeral for him!"

"I'm sorry, soap."

"it's not your fault. I know it's not. You didn't ask for this." Maybe it was desperation. Maybe it was some fucked up way of grieving. Or maybe it was just the alcohol. "kiss me." Ghost's confusion was visible even with his face covered. "Please...I want to feel him. I just want to get a goodbye." It was unlike Soap to throw himself at people. Especially people he barely knew but did this even count as a stranger? Soap knew every inch of this body. He spent countless nights cuddled into it. The kisses felt the same physically but not emotionally. Soap was only able to get to feeling under Ghost's shirt before he broke down crying. This wasn't him. Soap knew that. His Ghost was gone.

Soap awoke the next morning in Ghost's bed, a place he had woken up in before. Unlike with his Ghost he didn't wake up with his arms around anybody. He looked over the edge of the bed to see Ghost sleeping on the floor. It was really over. He'd never get to hold his Ghost again. Just like how Ghost will never get to hold his Roach again. He can pretend Gary is him for as long as he wants but it's not him. Roach was dead. The difference between Soap and Ghost was that Soap accepted this. Ghost could play pretend but one day reality will catch up. Simon abandoned Gary for a reason. Ghost can only hope that reason doesn't catch up.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Putting aside how painful it is seeing the boys suffer like that thanks for that lol, got a question about the Lofi chapter.

So in Twin Animatronics one of the elements that seemed to sway Bob's attitude was Sun calling Ted "Dad". But here Sun says it multiple times and there's no reaction.

Is Bob too drunk/grief angry to notice? Or is there something different about the way Sun says it in Twins that softens Bob up a bit?

YES!!!

I was honestly hoping that someone would ask this question.

But Bob does have a visceral reaction to Sun calling Ted "Dad" here.

But Sun's visual processes are bunked, so he can't see the micro expressions that Bob twitches into.

In fact, the whole reason why Bob doesn't turn the pain receptors off, (despite Sun's screaming likely being a hassle and headache for him) is 100 percent because of what Sun said.

Bob said a lot of things to Sun that neither Sun could hear over the pain and screams, and things Bob himself forgets.

Bob can't prove anything. But he knows what the Daycare Attendant did to his coworker. A horrible gut feeling. Bob knows the Daycare Attendant's capabilities more then anyone. He's the one who built the blueprints Ted provided him with and was there the entire testing process.

From Bob's perspective, this killer machine, who you know but can't prove, slaughtered your best friend. And you just have to go to work and pretend the man never existed. Told by the Security Guard and your Boss that he got in a car accident and died.

You know it was no accident.

You know what your friend was building him for.

You couldn't stop him then.

And now, by Fazbear standards, he never existed.

And this thing.

This monster he created.

Has the audacity to call it's victim their father???

What a joke.

If you can't scrap it, can't get it to admit what it did.... You will hurt it. Just hurt it as much as possible. Hurt it like Ted felt hurt.

Maybe you'll feel some sense of justice.

And yes, Bob does remember the anger and emotions he felt that day, as well as the physical pain the machine put him through......

But the catalyst for him to feel that strongly, he forgot. He forgot the words said and the words he said.

Just that Sun babbled some nonsense and pissed him off, so he tortured the bot and he got a lot of scars in the process.

I wanted to wait to reveal this in twins or Dadler lives, but because we see things from Sun and Moon's perspective, we aren't privy to a lot of this information.

But we at least know why Sun was so frantic and worried about not calling Ted "Dad" again in front of him.

[languagenderflux]

i accidentally got high.

so yeah, i got some edibles at my local cbd store, and i thought they were cbd only but i guess not?!

i don’t even feel like this is real rn bc i feel like that state where you’re half asleep half awake and i’m half expecting waking up and all this was a dream

honestly i’m writing this for myself to prove this was real

[fortanuvasyama]

I was REALLY REALLY curious about some of the logistics of the whole adrenaline-fear-thing Bruce stuck in Jason, so I went down a rabbit hole of googling! From what I was seeing of other people's posts, it seems like general consensus is that there's a chip in Jason's head that's making the

disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. I googled this and looked at articles and research papers but I definitely could have misunderstood things! talk to a doctor for better info!

As I listed in another post, adrenaline gets triggered in the body for multiple reasons, one of the most obvious being fear. Keep that in mind.

So, first off, when adrenaline hits your system, it does a ton of things: your sensitivity to pain decreases, your pupils get bigger, your vision gets better, your heart starts racing, your blood pressure increases, your hearing improves, your digestion slows down, the air passages in your lungs expand, your blood gets redistributed to your muscles, and your blood glucose levels increase.

(Your adrenal glands, of which the average person has two, are on the top of each kidney, btw. That's where they link up with the endocrine system.)

Short-term, these things can help you escape a situation your brain decides is dangerous. But if they go on for a long time, well... I think you can guess.

Generally, anxiety/fear -> panic attack -> hyperventilation, and if the hyperventilation goes on for too long it can increase the levels of oxygen in your blood to dangerous amounts. Most people would pass out before this got to the point that it could cause death, and because they're unconscious, the body has a chance to get breathing back to normal levels (though of course you'd most likely have negative side-effects after this).

Most importantly: Adrenaline is straight-up toxic in huge quantities. As in, it will kill you if there's a massive amount for a long time. I can't get a reliable source on how long this takes or exactly how much it takes to kill you, but there are cases of people dying during surgery when accidentally given massive amounts of epinephrine (adrenaline). And there are definitely reports of people straight up dying of fright (of note is that most of those people had varying conditions that weakened their hearts already). Basically, adrenaline ends up opening the heart to calcium, and if too much calcium builds up it impedes the heart's ability to work, thus damaging it, and eventually the whole system collapses. I couldn't find any real time estimates on how long the calcium build-up takes 🤷‍♀️

So you can imagine, if you decided to, say, make a little computer chip that forced your brain into feeling fear every time it sensed adrenaline hitting the system, then the obvious result you're going to get is... more adrenaline entering the system. Which then kicks off the next wave of fear! Is it worse than the first? Possibly! That fear kicks more adrenaline into overdrive, which means more fear which means more adrenaline, which means more fear which means more adrenaline which means more fear which means more adrenaline which means more fear which means more adrenaline which means more fear which means more adrenaline which means more fear which means more adrenaline which means more fear which means more adrenaline and so on and so forth!

And that is to say nothing of the fact that - if we work under the assumption that Bruce put a chip in Jason's brain to cause the fear response to adrenaline being released - it means HE PUT A CHIP IN JASON'S BRAIN. HE PERFORMED BRAIN SURGERY!!! THE MAN WHO DITCHED MEDICAL SCHOOL PERFORMED A BRAIN OPERATION!!! TO PUT SOMETHING INTO SOMEONE'S BRAIN!!!!

conclusion: realistically, jason would be dead by the end of the day. if we go by dc logic, he'll probably turn into a speedster (kidding! I'm kidding. though you could make a case of adrenaline = hysterical strength which means tons of adrenaline = superman strength. probably not going to happen.)

Thank you for listening to my tedtalk on why bruce wayne is a fucking moron (and dc writers don't give a shit about biology 🫣)

[melonteee]

I just think they didn't do Sanji's eyebrows cause they couldn't make it work with the hairstyle they wanted, every Sanji actor looks like a cosplayer, which is not a bad thing when it comes to like live performances on stage or at theme parks, but they're SO clearly wearing wigs LMAO they do not look like "real" people that would exist since that hair (wig) is not natural looking at all (and we all know that Sanji would look wacky with both brows showing, that's why he NEVER shows them in the manga), Netflix is clearly going for realism and Sanji has "realistic" hair which is kinda ironic since One Piece and realism don't really go hand in hand but lol Netflix ¯l_(ツ)_l¯

This same goes for Usopp's nose too, but they have literally NO excuse for removing Sanji's little "beard", that shit should've stayed on since it IS one of the most realistic parts of his design lol but again it's fucking Netflix

Also hot(?) take: I think Oda just designed Sanji to have eyebrows like the spiral in narutomaki cause he found it funny, I think he added the Germa stuff to it later (I think he had a lot of Sanji's story planned out from the get go but judging from his comments he decided Sanji would have siblings much later so I think he also just added more meaning to the brows later)

Anon you cannoooot say "it's just unrealistic looking, all the other Sanjis wear obvious wigs" when Nami and Zoro are wearing the most obvious wigs ever. It has nothing to do with realism, Zoro's hair is bright green for god's sake. If a cosplayer on a $15 budget can add the literal key trait of Sanji's design, Netflix could've found a way to do it on a million dollar budget - possibly even with a more natural look!

I'm not going to lie I'm extremely sick of these excuses that everyone is just making up FOR Netflix, like can we just be in agreement it was honestly disappointing and lazy to remove a physical feature a LOT of people recognise Sanji for. A feature that is so easy to add. You can be excited for it while also going "Wow, that kinda sucks!"

Removing a feature of a character that he's literally recognised for in canon universe, that he gets nick names for and pointed at for MULTIPLE times, is just an extremely disappointing move by Netflix - especially considering it is currently story relevant in the original property right now. They just wanted to make him a conventionally attractive man without any of the design choices that actually make him stand out.

Sanji's eyebrows are also literally meant to be weird, if they look uncanny then that's kind of literally the point. It's why he gets made fun of for them.

Once again, this has nothing to do with the actors at all. They do not control their costumes lol.

Also my hot take here is, if you want to make a show with physical realism, why in the world would you EVER pick one piece to adapt for that 😭

[satellite-blossom]

Me when I get suggested an artist I blacklisted just because they've changed their blog name again :

[quietwingsinthesky]

i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.

[clowndensation]

trying to explain charoum cries during sex like okay so it's not that charoum has never felt an honest emotion, it's that he's just inherently disinterested in contextualizing his emotions in an authentic way, and so the single time he genuinely feels something and is unable to sublimate it into a performance to further an agenda, he immediately gets so overwhelmed by the experience he collapses in on himself and it all ends up leaking out of him.

and it just so happens that this happens while astarion is attempting to seduce him.

so by the time charoum settles back into himself again, and is better able to channel his emotions into something productive, he now has one single core memory of feeling something, genuinely, as himself, with absolutely no ulterior motive behind it. and he links that experience with astarion. which does (un)fortunately link them together tighter than charoum has ever been bound to anyone else in his life. which should be fine for them.

[nthflower]

I want to talk soon unimportant but specific details about my life but what if someone I know from real life is here 😳

[bendyy-blog]

Man I don't even know why I hyped up secrets of the machine for myself. Forgot they would Obviously only ever use batdr's ink demon which is a Huge trigger for me still.

[dhoranbolt]

I need reader who's shy/easily embarrassed, and Sukuna who just pops up whenever to say the most unhinged out of pocket shit on the side of Yuji's face just to see her go bright red.

read fic here

Sukuna who takes the opportunity to lick her face when Yuji tries to reach out and move some hair from her face. The gasp she let's out is choked, and Sukuna grins as Yuji is quick to pull away with a sound of disgust.

"That's not all I can do with my tongue. I'll show you one of these days, when the brat let's me out to play." It's a threat and a promise. Sukuna can't wait to take the drivers seat and devour her.

Sukuna who taunts the both of them for his own amusement, keeping her walking on eggshells whenever she's around Yuji

Who pops an eye open to watch as she bends over to pick something up, taking a moment to admire her ass before he opens his mouth. And when he finally does, "I cant see the swell of your cunt, bend some more for me." Yuji's quick to slap a hand over his cheek and ignore the sting, only for Sukuna to make his way to the back of his hand and cackle

Sukuna who isn't paying attention to what the brats are doing until he hears her moaning. Cracking an eye opened to see she's putting food in her mouth, eyes closed and a faint smile pulling at her lips.

"Do you always moan like that when you put things in your mouth? Or are you just showing off for me." She nearly chokes on the food, eyes going wide and cheeks burning red as she looks at him.

Sukuna who refuses to acknowledge the fact he enjoys her reactions for anything more than his own entertainment.

But who does start to notice the subtle change in Yuji's behavior towards her

Who makes it his new goal in life -to keep himself entertained of course, no other reason- to make the both of them so uncomfortable in each other's presence.

Because if he can't physically toy with his new (not favorite) human, he'll gladly do it from the passengers seat of his vessel and make everyone involved miserable.

@saiki-enthusiast here's the tag!! I hope you enjoy 😊 I have a fic that's like a follow up to this that I'm still working on, it's a little dark/ noncon though, if anyone was interested!

[bravesaboteur]

The more I think about it, the more Laios and Falin's different perceptions of their parents are a case of "same parents, different childhood".

Whenever someone asks Laios about his and Falin's family, he comments on how they treated Falin but never comments about how how their childhood affected him - in fact, he kind of glosses over it. It's Falin that everyone is rallying to save, it's Falin that's Marcille's friend, it's Falin that everyone has a positive opinion of - he's just the weirdo brother that gets to share some of her light sometimes. He's the one who's only tolerated when he's useful in a dungeon. Falin's treatment is a large part of the reason that he left, but it's the symptom of a larger issue.

When we see Laios' thoughts of his parents in his nightmares, it's all about the expectations that he's supposed to live up to: the expectation to stop being "childish", the expectation to get married (to who his parents picked) and have children, the expectation to take over from his father as the village chief, the expectation to adapt to something that he isn't able to be in the way that people want him to. And these are all things that he has had to be told in some way: he had to be told that Shuro didn't like him, he had to be told that told that the gold-peelers were taking advantage of him - these aren't thoughts that just appeared on their own, these are all failures that someone has explicitly pointed out to him and they haunt him. Some of the things he considers his biggest failures are his failure to provide for and protect Falin and those have very tangible examples he can point to.

We get a glimpse of what happens when he fails to live up to his father's expectations when Falin is born. He expects a certain reaction from Laios and when he fails to give that reaction he physically puts him down, dismisses him, and underestimates how much he understands.

And that's something that's shown to be a bit of a sore point for him - people thinking that he doesn't understand something because he doesn't express himself like people expect. The few times we see him snap at people are because people think he isn't understanding something because he isn't reacting "normally".

On Falin's side, the expectations seem to be a lot different - she's the younger one, for one, she's a girl, and she was so young when the fallout from her having magic happened. She too had an arranged engagement, but that was broken off when she was sent away to magic school and since then, their parents only seem to be passively involved in her life. She's mostly been freed of the expectations that their parents had for her in her village - she won't be coming back after all. She understands why they sent her away, she wasn't completely oblivious to the villagers treatment of her and it was, arguably, for the best so she is at peace with what their relationship is for now. But she still wants to go to her hometown and see for herself with adult eyes because she has never really had the space to do that.

I don't think their parents are inherently evil people - the truth is probably somewhere between Laios and Falin's version of the story, Laios' side tinged by too much cynicism and Falin's by too much naivete.

It just strikes me that when he tried to provide the "normal" way he failed, but given the space to do something similar to what people expected of him, but in his own way, he succeeded. He isn't perfect but his efforts are ultimately fruitful and he is able to carve out a place for himself, Falin, and others who had been ostracized like them to call home.

[drchucktingle]

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT

hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.

while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.

i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously

lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 

unfortunately i will also have to decline.

the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.

sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.

this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.

but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.

regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?

without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.

to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?

so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’