#it's like hearing a fucking flat earther talking

[dongoverlord]

can tumblr stop showing me terf blogs talking abt roe v wade cause it’s annoying seeing a post you agree with until they try to sneak in their transphobic bullshit and blocking yet ANOTHER blog for the fifth time that day

[neganmct]

Fifty Comedic Prompts

"Noooooooo, really?"

"Well if she/he/they weren't flat before they certainly are now"

"You have one exhausted guardian angel, dude"

"We've nearly died enough today so please get the fuck down"

"How? How do you fall in love with the fucker who is currently chasing us down with a fucking chainsaw?!"

"I have several questions but mainly I'm just wondering how you got up there"

"Will you stop being a cockblock for one day please?"

"No, no, sweetheart, that's a predator"

"You already are stupid, she's/he's/they're gonna be fucking you stupider"

"I don't care who started it I'm coming back there to finish it!"

"We have bigger problems than you trying to sheath your sword right now"

"Your God right now is pissing on us, how is this a blessed day?"

"Can we go one day without chaos? I really need to take a two year nap"

"I need to pull the shutters dow- Is that a God damn trampoline?"

"You were so high you had a staring contest with my mother's photograph"

"You literally told the clock you're not drunk you piss head"

"The only way anyone is sucking that is if they have a microscope and tweezers"

"Suck my duh... door.... doorknob.... Yeah, suck my doorknob!"

"This heat feels like we've accidentally walked straight into Satan's anus"

"I feel like I'm talking to a toddler who knows every swear word in the English language with guns"

"I was away for five minutes and I came back to you guys having a bot invasion, Princess Diana returned to Earth with vengeance, the park was invaded by dinosaurs and the sun exploded"

"Last time I went to the doctors it involved rubber gloves and jelly"

"There's literally no traffic right now, man, just ignore the red light"

"Wow! I've never been so dry! I can use your picture to keep me safe from the rain!"

"Why is he/she/they handcuffed to the radiator?"

"What ass? You're flatter than the flat earther's theory"

"We're in the middle of nowhere, how good can it really be?"

"Guys... Guys... Guys! We forgot someone!"

"Oh look, it's Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum"

"I do not have enough hands for this"

"Hey, man, I need-Oh my God, that is a third leg! Your poor wife/husband/spouse..."

"You can't go one day without breaking my shit!"

"Quit sighing in disappoint I can hear that"

"You're just upset because your KFC can run away from you"

"Can you set me on fire? I'm cold"

"I need to make sure I'm holding a shield when she/he/they come here because I am am definitely gonna find myself on the floor"

"Who you gonna call? Those bastards!"

"If you die I'm bringing you back just to put you back in the ground myself"

"Do you go outside? Ever?"

"What's it mean when you're non sexy horny for something?"

"I hope you die first so I can eat you"

"He/she/they said they need a firm hand and I will give them/him/her a firm hand on the back of the skull!"

"Red Dead Depression honestly, Red Dead Depression"

"They're very intelligent until we leave them alone in a room together because together they share one braincell"

"I am a twig compared to you please don't hurt me"

"All that fucking hair, are you sure that's a man?"

"He... He is aware he just said girls night, right?"

"You guys make me age fifty years in a day"

"It's not like the smart smart but the smart smart smart"

"Who the hell let you of all people have a gun?"

[x-heesy]

𝚂𝚠𝚊𝚐 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊 𝚕𝚊 𝙸𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚢 🇮🇹

Hey

Mixer T, there

PK

I jump on Italian rap like a trampoline

Brother, I've been at it for a while, you scream

She gets wet when I rhyme

To do it better I found the algorithm

The flow weighs one kilo

Like the Migos necklaces

I'll smoke you in one hit

You're a Chilum in the park, I ride it with the widest filter

Then I enter precisely, bro, archery on the sample

When I hear you you're like the wind if I'm turning it around

No, I don't feel like a deaf man sleeping

Bro, I win gold, platinum and silver

With her in the hotel, bro, more stars than Hokuto

I go, straight cash like Coccoluto

Her pussy is Newton's apple

I smoke it whole bro in a minute (wooo!)

We are artists

We seem happy but then we're sad (hey)

We write records (ha!)

These rappers go home then diss us (wooo!)

I have the black box, you a package (ha ha!)

I'm a goal in the final with the heel

With you it's like boxing with the bag

When I hear your music it comes down to me

I don't care if it sounds good or if it sells

We are us and we don't change anything

We are us and we don't change anything

Emme!

I smoke from morning to night, bro

I'm having dinner with my girlfriend

Crazy panther kitten, bro

Guajira Guantanamera

I'm going up the stream

Brother, no, no, I don't have a dick, I have a propeller

His face white, hungry, anemic

Fievel landing in America

Sometimes, sometimes I inhale such a quantity that I pass out

I watch her ass go, they are so high that it seems like they are going up

You're on a pedal toilet

What a toilet, what a rate, with an ass that looks like a hexagon

Maybe it was better if you remained a bachelor

It's getting late, let's talk, I'm running bro!

I'll take a shot of ice cream, bro

Then I smile at you like a triceratops

Wanted flow machine gun, bro (hey)

Matrix change I'm regenerating it (hey, hey, hey, hey)

Die of envy, yes, you are triggered (seh)

Bad language, the beat is eviscerated

The feat is refined, the drink is mixed

What a fucking life, bro, I was a hermit! (em!)

By work, bro, I'm still a rapper

Even though I'm handsome, I'm an influencer

We are us and we don't change anything

We are us and we don't change anything

Ouch, ouch, tremble when you hear Lebon on the mic (Lebon on the mic)

Alright, 24/7, all night (all night)

When do you make wheat? Tomorrow (yep)

I'm Jimmy Iovine bro (yep)

Without the styles where do you go? Goodbye

God gave me the flow, he said 'go (go, go, go)

I do not know how

You don't know what

You know it well

That you are not what

You can make foam

You're a soda girl

A slap on the head when you're posing (pshh)

Music is a drug (hey)

And I always have the best one

Moment, moment, moment

I rock anyway and the microphone is off

I sing and you can't hear the accent

And you don't hear the jungle until I turn it on

Well done, take the bulldozers against the blacks and the Vatussi

I swear I can't do it like you do (yeah)

I should sell envelopes at Russian weddings

And be in the red like the Tunes (wooo!)

Life as an artist is sad, especially if you live in Italy

How to get a flat earther pregnant and raise her kids in Australia

It's like a prison, they condemned you

You want an hour of air, but conditioned

Out of the box forever

We are us, we don't change anything (Ah!)

Esagono (Hexagon) (feat. Salmo) by Gemitaiz, MadMan, Salmo @ombrabrontok @luna---zylum @bigbonzo @boanerges20 @faccaldo 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾

[nochiquinn]

four-sided dive episode 2: #good #professional

I have a keyboard! go fuck yourself, ipad keyboard

sdhfsk I just saw the name of the drink special

sam what

"what's a sad dad dance?" "it's just how you dance, man?"

mala: "I'm wearing flip flops today" Liam: comtemplates divorce

laura's hair looks so good

gofundme so I can get purple hair again

laura stop making fun of me

taliesin cornering momlan and demanding embarrassing stories about sam's childhood

laura: STOP TALKING ABOUT FEET

I also did not see lost boys until I was an adult

Moon Is Haunted

"as I tell you what happened on your show"

taliesin don't you bring the summerses into this

you were THERE SAMUEL

"the show is to catch sam up to speed"

"I don't even know what they're not talking about"

sam doesn't watch the product

"the moons could be chunks of god"

the souls are stored in the poop

"I have already exhausted laura, fifteen minutes into the show"

mala: "for most of us will get stale" Travis is big enough to count as a majority

"shopping is like the character creator, I want to try every hair color" I may or may not have spent two solid hours in the elden ring cc

mala: this is Laura's world and everyone else has the privilege of being an NPC in it me: this is also true for imogen

I ctrl-z'd and it erased a whole chunk of notes, thanks notepad

"JUST KEEP READING THE PROMPTER"

they absolutely stacked the tower before whatever they painted them with was dry

orym's little rp tricycle

l a u r a

mala: Orym coming out as bi but from the opposite direction

taliesin finding a machine to rage against

[ducks debris from the exploding southerngothic fandom]

"they're a flat earther" liam: [heavy sigh]

the subs just said "tallison"

the subs are now half the show for me

I can't believe dani is going to kill sam in the parking lot

I can't believe the producers are gonna kill sam in the parking lot

okay that's really fucking cool tho

can't believe they showed animal death right on the show smh

we'll find out when laura finds out

"ashton doesn't care but percy is in the back screaming"

my psych major comparisons are validated

my accent suffers from laura and fcg's accents

"it's worse when you need people and you're bad at it" can we not call me out like this

shadow imogen

chaos gremlins (affectionate)

whiskey slap

"you won't get that when MARISHA hosts!" "I mean…"

imogen temult, moon pony princess

"somewhere around here laura slapped me and it all changed"

I desire to see a consequence

muppets!

….fearne WOULD be janet

"HAMMER! :D"

kermit 🤝 orym only sane man

"they should just let us run the country" honestly tho

lore nuggets, new name of the show

I know even less about street fighter than I did about mario kart, so

"now I'm gonna button mash to see if I can make him to fancy stuff" me

"why is that person firing a gun into the air"

imogen hears everybody's intrusive thoughts

"I want the TOTS" "fair"

"he hates characters that have nothing good going on, because he's a good boy"

"we want more dani!" true

there is so much hair in this fight

"do you have a question for me?" "no. …other than WHY"

[kwdaebin]

hi everyone! i’m miya and PSYCHED to be here with bill nye the science guy, kwon daebin :’) click the read more for some of his info & plots below + feel free to like this post if you’d like to plot and i’ll hit you up!!! you can also feel free to add me on d*scord @ 국밥boi#8158 🚀

born july 17, 1996 (25)

country bumpkin from good ol’ gyeongsangnam-do, so if you love a man with a thick country accent... here u go

parents met in a cult so they’re low-key cray cray and his ambitiousness & drive to be smart and successful are what helps him keep distance from them lmao (they’re flat earthers)

was always that kid growing up that won first prize for his volcano science project

everyone kinda knew he was destined to be the successful scientist... he’s crossing his fingers

physics graduate student & has a minor in astronomy

president of the astronomy club but honestly he’s so f*ckin busy with his graduate work that he’s not very good at keeping the club active :’( he was super active as an undergrad tho

dream is to work at nasa (resume is currently in the works)

typical hot nerd in the streets

same typical hot nerd in the sheets (just give him a little liquid courage)

literally always wearing his glasses. he’s blind as a bat and refuses to wear contact lenses unless he absolutely HAS to… he’s that guy from that episode of twilight zone who is the last person on earth and ends up breaking his only remaining pair

basically daebin in a nutshell

ps DON’T mention harry styles to him or else he’s going to tie you down and force you to listen to harry’s place from start to finish and will actually yell at you if you try to talk over his music

you didn’t hear this from me buttttt he likes girls with big hoo-has & boys with… height

is actually pretty social, you just have to talk to him for a little bit to warm him up ♡

he hates astrology so much so don’t ever mention that around him either. he’s a cancer btw

textbook smart but fucking stupid with shit you’d think he’d have a better handle on ie. is bad at day trading, struggles with fitted sheets, and has poor spelling 

some plots that might be fun:

a. ya boy likes to party sometimes when he needs to relieve stress; normally he doesn’t like to go too hard because he’s sort of an old man and his body can’t really tolerate drinking ‘til 3am anymore 💀 maybe your muse is a bit younger (20-23) and convinces him to stay out and something he regrets happens, ie. y’all kiss because ur both too drunk, he ends up getting too wasted in front of you and you take care of him and now he’s embarrassed to face you sober, etc b. i’m sorry i just have to put this one here but he’s your hot TA and all you want to do during ur seminars is jump his bones... and somehow at some point u get ur way c. someone to proofread his cover letters for his internship and job applications (his spelling and also his grammar kinda sucks so he rly needs a 2nd pair of eyes!!!!) d. planetarium “date” but all daebin does is explain everything to you and ruins the entire experience e. dummy forgets his glasses somewhere and even tho he looks like a complete snacc without them he literally cannot see a THING and please he’s begging you to help him bc he’s so screwed

[iwaizumisbabe]

WILL YOU LOVE ME?; bakudeku pt. 4

NAVIGATION | RULES | ALL CHAPTER | MAIN MASTERLIST

← MHA MASTERLIST

FRIDAY; 08/25/2034

─ 𝗕𝗔𝗞𝗨𝗚𝗢𝗨 𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗜

The week passed very quickly. Deku had tried to talk to me again and again, but I simply blocked.

It sounded so stupid in my head, but Deku's behavior on Saturday had hurt me very much. This feeling was new for me. Never had I relied on anyone. I did it once and then regretted it right away...

Today was the day of that stupid party I would go to anyway, even if I thought it was stupid. It is definitely stupid.

Shitty Hair had certainly gone to a lot of trouble with the others, and even if I didn't show it, I liked Shitty Hair and the others, so I was going to do them the favor.

Someone knocked on my door and opened it seconds later. Speak of the devil...

"Bakugō?" he asked, stepping into my room.

"Yes, Shitty Hair?"

"Can you help us?", I couldn't help but breathe all annoyed, "It's nothing big, really!"

"What is it?", I can't believe I'm seriously caving in.

"We just need someone to set up the tables. They're pretty heavy, even for me and Mezo. It's super fast too; honestly," his grin was so wide you could see his teeth.

"Alright, but I have to change later, so we'll have to hurry."

"You're coming?" he asked incredulously.

"I promised you I would. You think I'm breaking my promises, Shitty Hair?" sparks flew from my hands.

"No, no. Of course not."

─ 𝗠𝗜𝗗𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗬𝗔 𝗜𝗭𝗨𝗞𝗨

I sat on the couch of the common room and watched Kacchan setting up the tables. Well, watching was a nice way to put it.

"Stop staring like that!" whispered Todoroki to me.

"Have you seen his arms? And his muscles...", the next moment heat rose to my face.

"Are we done?" shouted Kacchan across the room.

"Yes, thank you Bakubro," you could hear Kirishima's fists slamming together. Sometimes I'm really jealous of him.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. See you in a bit Shitty Hair!", with the words he had disappeared to the upper floors.

─ 𝗕𝗔𝗞𝗨𝗚𝗢𝗨 𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗜

Even if there were not many tables, I sweat as if I had run 15 km. Sometimes I really curse my Quirk...

Quickly I went to shower, after all I had not much time left.

Freshly showered I put on my only shirt, what I owned. Mina had the stupid idea to introduce a dress code. Although this pink alien had managed to get me to wear a shirt, she could forget about the tie.

Before I left my room, I looked in the mirror once more and checked that everything was in place.

↳ time skip 𖦹

"Bakubro, there you are!" shouted Kirishima from the corner where the tables were.

"Did I take this long or what?", why do you always react so annoyed and aggressive?

"Don't get mad right away, Bakugō. Here, beer for you.", Mina handed me an open beer, whereupon everyone else standing around us bumped their bottle against mine and started a conversation.

I listened and interjected a sentence or two every now and then, but my gaze was almost continuously on Deku. Isn't this the seventh cocktail he's had? For all of them being non-alcoholic, he looks pretty drunk.

It took a brief moment for my brain to put the puzzle pieces together. Shit, they're not non-alcoholic...!

Deku and I were separated by only a few feet, so I ran over to him and his weird friends.

"How dare you flat-earthers give Deku alcohol!!!", I yelled at everyone, but especially the IcyHot bastard.

"What do you care! You haven't cared all week. Just like all the fucking years before that," he was talking slower than usual, but actually you couldn't tell he was drunk. And he cursed...

"I didn't ask for your opinion, Deku."

"Of course, as usual. You just avoid all things unpleasant to you," Really now, Deku?

My face turned away from the bastard's to look at Deku, "You want to argue with me?", I asked him seriously.

"Gladly!" he hissed back

"Good!", I grabbed Deku by the waist and slung him over my shoulder. Together with him, I made my way to my room.

"Should we go after them?", Denki asked.

"No, let them talk it out. I don't think Bakugō will hurt him. And even if he does, we'll hear it then."

"I can walk myself!" muttered Deku at my back.

"Certainly not in that addition," why am I so mad that he was drinking?

↳ time skip 𖦹

In the room, I dropped him on the bed and took a few steps away from it, then paced up and down in my room. What am I supposed to do now?

"What's your fucking problem anyway!", since when the hell does Deku swear so much?

"What my fucking problem is?", I yelled back.

"Yes. Since you know I don't have a Quirk, you've been treating me like shit. And now that I have a Quirk, you treat me even shittier. What did I do to deserve this?" he yelled at me again.

"I was scared for you!", I yelled at the green-haired man who was sitting on my bed.

"Scared? You? About anyone but you?", he started laughing. And that provoked me so much that I ran to him, grabbed him by his collar and pulled him to my face.

"Yes! Do you remember what happened right at the beginning of the first year; in USJ? Imagine if you hadn't had Quirk then. What would you have done then?", Deku had to swallow and his eyes widened slightly.

"Exactly! You would have died. I didn't want anything to happen to you all those years," I don't know why, but all at once all aggression left my body and I lowered mine.

"And later... I don't know what that was either. I think I was just so frustrated that you stopped looking up to me. I wasn't your number one anymore and it felt so shitty. At least as shitty as it sounds right now," God this is embarrassing...

Suddenly I felt Deku's hands on my face and looked up again.

"You've always been my number one," he smiles so sweetly.

"Hmm, I don't quite understand. What do you mean?", I asked cautiously.

"Even though you treated me the way you just did, I always looked up to you. You were always, and are, my number one Kacchan," my eyes widened. I couldn't say anything back.

I also didn't have enough time to think about it and digest the whole thing, because Deku pulled me to him in the next moment and pressed his lips to mine.

And me? I couldn't help but kiss him back.

Carefully, after a few minutes, I stroked my tongue over his lower lip, asking for entrance, which he actually granted me.

This reaction increased my already huge ego and made me pin him to the bed by his arms.

My warm fingers slid under his red shirt to trace his rather defined muscles there.

It was the moan he let out that brought me back to my senses. I removed my hand from his body, as well as my lips from his. My head hovered a few inches above his.

"What's wrong?" whispered Deku.

"You're drunk...", I answered him.

"So what?" it came back, confused.

"We- I can't do this while you're drunk," I dropped down on Deku, but was careful not to expose him to my full body weight. Loudly, I let out a sigh.

Deku chuckled softly. What's so funny now?

"We can just continue tomorrow...", a few seconds later I felt his fingers gently stroking through my hair.

"Deku-", he simply interrupted me.

"I may be drunk, but I'm aware of what I'm saying, Kacchan," again a soft giggle escaped his lips.

What an idiot..., I thought to myself, yet I am at least as big an idiot as he is....

─ THE END

© 2022 | @iwaizumisbabe

IT'S NOT ALLOWED TO COPY/REPOST/TRANSLATE MY WORKS ON OTHER PLATFORMS!

[faithinlouisfuture]

I mean, I don’t know. It was an annoying interview and the interviewers were very annoying but he looked so cute and I love hearing him talk and hearing that LT2 is almost done, I’m going to take that.

And it wasn’t obvious or anything but the way he handled the university course thing, it’s like he was showing disdain, gentle disdain because he’s Louis and he knows he can’t be obvious without it creating huge drama, but would lrries really see that as a positive reaction? The cult of celebrity would definitely be one of those things Louis can’t stand, like with the Kardashians. And one thing h definitely represents is the cult-like, insincere life of a “celebrity”. Because that’s all h seems like now.

I think that Louis uses ‘soon’ on purpose now, to fuck with us. Demon. He knows it drives us mad! But I’ll take his word for it, “very soon” could mean literally anything in Louis world, but honestly he can just take his time. He knows what’s best for him, and why the timelines look like they do. Better than us at least.

The flat earthers of fandom actually using their brains? Forget about it. I’m sure they’re celebrating something or the other right now. Have probably already found at least 15 proofs from this one interview and will continue to haunt this fandom with their whackadoo theories. Don’t even bother with them any more.

[cheesewelsom]

My other percy jackson AU where the siblings have children.. all of them

Terra - daughter of demeter talking to a flat earther and someone who believes the moon is a disk.

Terra : okay, so you believe the moon is a disk? Like those CDs right?

Perl, who believes in said topic because he was brought up by an idiot : yes..

Terra : okay, good, good. So the first man to land on the moon we saw the moon.. be round right?

Perl :... photoshop.

Terra : hear me out. if the moon was a disk, how the fuck did the Astronaut land the rocket? More or less be standing, he must be walking on a fucking tight rope.

Terra : photoshop wasn't created then, dumbass. How can the moon be round and have space for a rocker if it's a thin disk??

Perl : because it's a sphere

Terra : THERE IT IS! THE RIGHT ANSWER, THE RIGHT ANSWER!! fucking yeah! He answered a circle!

Perl : a sphere isn't a circle.

Terra :...

Terra : at what lengths would it give you to just shut up and think, what do you think is a sphere!?

Perl : those circle thingies with long bodies.

Terra :.. those are CYLINDERS!!! CYLINDERS CREATED BY ARCHIMEDES!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OWN GEOGRAPHY!? YOUR HISTORICAL GEOGRAPHY!?

terra currently screaming her guts out and the treat watching.

A blond boy with blue eyes recording the whole thing : this is your fault for recording me you mother fucker.

A boy with red hair and purple eyes : isn't that a bit too much

The son of hades : it's not enough.

The son of Posidon : it's never enough is it?

The blond son of hades : never.

The red haired son of Posidon, passes the camera stand : here you go.

Blond boy, son of hades : she's going to regret Everything.

Son of Posidon, whispering :.. but she loves drama?

[stuffandwonder]

“What are those people on Tumblr that think you and me have sex with one another going to do about this?”

I love how there is a small but determined faction of people on here determined to re-hear/rephrase that as 'people who write fanfiction that think you and me have sex' when he literally never said that lol

Y'all would fail English comprehension so hard

Their impression of Tumblr is probably years old (going from when Myth.ical had an account), when there was a certain amount of tinhatting and some fans really did talk as if they actually thought they were fucking irl

I saw someone, ?Mythicalcalamity?, compare the difference between fic writers and tinhatters to knowing the difference between science fiction and flat earthers and thats a really good analogy. They're not stupid, if they meant fanfic writers they would of just said that.

And I just really don’t get why people care what R thinks about shippers? You don't write fic for him?! You write it for yourself/other fandom people? Why are you so pressed by if R has a good opinion of it or not? It literally doesn't matter.

Also I love how it's always the same 5 or so toxic cunts trying to stir up bullshit, and they will literally bait people and then hate on them anonymously. Literally the only time I see those names, because I have them blocked, is when they are stirring up trouble in the fandom.

I really don't understand why people like that, who clearly no longer enjoy or like the creators of the content, who go around attacking members of the fandom they are supposedly in, stay around. You don't like a fandom anymore? Then please, fucking LEAVE.

It will be good for everyone.

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

A few days ago, I emailed my former professor about a paper on women’s food practices in the middle ages. At least, that’s what I told him it was about, initially. 

But actually, I wanted to discuss heresy. This professor teaches a women’s rights course every year. Every year at the beginning of the class, he calls attention to why he, a man, is talking about women’s rights. He looks us in the eyes and says, no one else is doing it, and I’m sorry it’s me.

This man made us read the SCUM manifesto, Gerda Lerner, Maria Mies. He grazed the subject of the Lesbian Sex Wars, delicately, so gingerly, posing the question: “Can sex work ever be just work?”  And my  (all woman) classmates, generally mute—in a Women’s Rights class, they all seemed averse to saying the word “woman,” at all. Then one woman raised her hand. and she said, “Sex work is real work.”  A statement that, as I hope you know, is a deflection and a discussion killer.  

At the time I was non-binary. Hah. I submitted a comic at the end of the year of my final project. My thesis for that project was this: the very language female people have to use for themselves was constructed by the patriarchy. for example, the english word “vagina” comes from the latin word for “sheath”. so the vagina invokes the act of penetration upon its utterance. Whereas the word “penis” has no clear etymological root, implying that it is original while the vagina is constructed for him. Why should I carry the fact that I will always be a tool, the hole, of the human that is man? My solution, at the end of the comic, was to continue using they/them pronouns, to shield myself from the horror of being a wo-man, a s-he—an appendage of Him. 

I got a good grade. A stellar report. And it wasn’t a bad comic, for what I knew then. For my condition of blindness and deafness. I made a compelling argument, using sources from class.  But oh, how much older I feel now. I’ve always felt old but now I feel almost like I’m dying. Like I don’t have enough time to fix the world before I disappear. And women’s stories never survive. They are not surviving. networks spring up like mycelium and then every century at least they are burned. Witchcraft is in the air shared by women in a room of their own, and witchcraft is doused in gasoline.

I don’t have enough time to explain how the veil lifted for me. Maybe I forget the big moment. the days after were a blur of searching the no-no tags like radical feminist, GNC, gender critical. Amazed at the wealth of journals that these women linked to with real statistics showing that children are being sterilized for no reason. Mostly gay children. like me, a lesbian, who now lives in a house with three  “non-binary afabs”. This summer, one of these women, who I have known since freshman year, will start taking testosterone, a procedure I took up  for three turbulent months during my freshman year of college. I get to watch her become what I turned away from, knowing the experience fractured my sense of self to a point of  terror and estrangement. I get to watch her hide from her problems and cut herself off from womanhood the way I did for 3 years. I am not a woman, so do I not feel Woman’s pain, she is telling me, I told myself, when I was in a dream.  She has so many problems, she laughs. But trans is a separate problem that has nothing to do with those other problems. A coincidence.

 (For any trans people reading this, you may think: This transtrender fake-trans never-was-trans woman is treating these nonbinary people as if they were dead! as if they weren’t happy people finally living their truth! —well. I put my mom through the process of trying to convince her that I should have always been a man. and I did lose her, for months. For her it was the height of cognitive dissonance that I should want to go on a life-altering hormone to cure my lifelong social awkwardness and self-hatred and self-harm and depression. And I blamed her for not accepting my real self. I was basically made to shun her and my family because of transphobia.. It is disrespectful to anyone’s sanity and integrity for me to perpetuate that cognitive dissonance in this post.)

So I eventually got through to the professor. I knew because of the texts he had us to read for class. He is gay.  He has read all the theory, and lives by it.  And no (woman) student wants to speak to him. To bring the theory alive. They cannot breathe into it and it sits dead in his mouth.

Maybe it is because he is a man. because the presence of one man in a space of all women immediately sends up alerts.  lockdown. Certainly that is the case. Radical Feminists here: I know he’s a man. But I don’t have a woman. And I felt on the strength of the texts he’d given us that he would be my best bet. Maybe somewhere in the corrupted, rotting heart of my college there was a person who knew about thoughtcrimes and was thinking them anyway.

My professor starts with diversion. He starts by talking about my paper. I find it disconcerting that he starts that way. I worry that he won’t want to refer to my email. Where I say: I have woken up from a dream to the apocalypse—Does this man think I’m crazy? Chipper and kind of frantically, he lists off  primary sources of medieval nuns and women saints. for my paper.  Does this man think I’ve turned into a bigot?  Am I confessing lunacy, like a flat-earther?

But I steer the conversation to the meat at his first tentative encouragement. I tell him something like: “children, mostly gay children, a whole generation of gay children, are being sterilized. Porn is a symptom of late-stage capitalism—men’s ownership of women’s bodies. trans is an extension of this. I was part of this. I was in a cult.” I was shaking a bit. I don’t think I’d uttered those words out loud. They sound crazy. Some of the things I said did sound far-fetched. disorganized, remote. But I prayed that my professor would believe some of it, any of it. 

 What I will say is that he believes me.  Thank fuck, right?

He tells me something along the lines of this, vocalizing my fears: 

that all of academia is being scrubbed of anything that doesn’t support Trans.

And it is trans-identified female students and women who are reporting him to Title IX, who spend all their time in his classes fuming at the lack of validation for trans women in the  history of women. My sisters, footsoldiers for the cause. What cruel irony. This man is holding onto this class by his fingernails, speaking through his teeth, hoping any of the twenty young adult women staring blankly or angrily at him will hear him and listen.

 Looking back, the professor’s responses to my emails are vague, completely refusing to acknowledge a point of view other than “WOW. I look forward to discussing this.”  I think he thinks he could be blackmailed. Anything he says on gmail dot com can and would be used against him. It’s like, really, really, really that bad. 

No ideology should involve a cultural cleaning of women’s history feat. witch hunts. 

I will end here with an excerpt from my first email to this professor:

I'm sure you know what a total bummer it is to realize this. 

[levitatingbiscuits]

📓I hope that's the right one 😅

Okay, this one's the "Obi-Wan crash lands in middle earth" au! His ship is so thoroughly destroyed that he has no way of repairing it or contacting anyone for help. He tries to get in touch with the most learned people on this backwards planet, but because elves don't see the curvature of the earth they're absolutely no help. (In fact, they don't believe him at all.) He also sounds like he's speaking in tongues, and though he picks up the language quickly, he's either lost in translation or insane, because he keeps talking about flying and stars and aliens and the concept of democracy.

They take pity on him and maybe let him stay in Rivendell to try to heal his mind, because he's clearly crazy and they can sense his deep sadness (his life sucks so much that this can take place at pretty much any point during his lifetime). So Obi-Wan faffs about trying to fix his ship without letting the elves near it, because like hell he's entrusting it to a bunch of flat earthers who've never even heard of space travel and who believe he's off his rocker.

Then while he's in the woods fucking with his ship he encounters a bunch of darksiders chasing down an elf woman holding a child who's been stabbed, so he kills them all and convinces their dark steeds to give him a lift so he can escort them the rest of the way to Rivendell.

Arwen/glorfindel sees some dude kill the Ringwraiths with a flaming sword, and then tame their horses without speaking a word of sindarin or quenya or anything else he/she can understand, and then start chasing them, and loses his/her shit.

Once that gets sorted out, no one at the Council of Elrond knows what the fuck to do with this madman who can kill Nazgul with his disappearing magic sword. He also has plenty of experience resisting the dark side, so the ring doesn't tempt him, and it is not happy about that at all-- like a Sith holocron, it starts trying to hurt him or drive him insane, but it's very clearly not succeeding. Maybe he lifts it with the force so he doesn't have to touch it directly, thus revealing his "magic," and Gandalf is like "what the fuck why is he as powerful as I am wtf wtffffff"

So while they're all arguing about whether they can trust him, Obi-Wan hears that dwarves are good with metal and don't like the elves. He asks gimli to help fix his ship. Everyone hears him talking about a metal boat that can fly and they're like "oh so he's crazy on top of being the most dangerous person in this room. Great. Fantastic."

And then shenanigans. Obi-Wan tries to learn how to use a regular sword and is comically bad at it because he's only ever wielded lightsabers. Boromir tries to poach him for Gondor but a mistranslation happens and Obi-Wan thinks he's propositioning him. Maybe Maul ALSO crash lands and strikes up a partnership with Gollum, because one's obsessed with the ring while the other is obsessed with the ringbearer. Obi-Wan on a quest for replacement power converters, trying and failing to prove his sanity to the rest of the fellowship. All sorts of fun dumb stuff!

[ssiggss]

The order definitely hates flat earthers with a burning passion and finds them very annoying

THIS MADE ME CACKLE LMAOOOOO

I can just see someone trying to argue with one of the gang about the earth being flat and the order just slowly turn around because they cannot believe what the fuck they're hearing.

"Are you joking?" Nari asks.

They are not in fact joking and actually have the audacity (bc flat-earthers seem to have an infinite store of the stuff) to try and tell off Nari of The Eternal Forest.

Skrael is regretting giving humans customizable IQ levels and Bellroc literally snatches this guy by the neck- one, for trying to talk to Nari like she's an idiot and two, for genuinely believing that the planet they made is flat.

"Don't ever open your mouth in front of her again. And for your information, mortal, we crafted this planet with our own two hands and while it isn't a perfect circle- its definitely not flat."

[vvanini]

whats your favorite obscure hc about each of the losers?

Fucking perfect thank you

1- Mike he reads books or articles like “how to understand woman”, “why women like jerks”, not because he wants to woo woman or is a nice guy or anything but just because he thinks it’s interesting

I don’t think he’d date anyone

Gives great dating advice tho

Reads manga Likes Junji Ito

“The manga/book was better” kind of guy

I don’t know why but I feel like he’d be this ENTP-ish dude who likes to gather information about a lot of useless things and likes to debate He likes film and game theories Watches MatPat for sure

Also he likes The Walking Dead and… zombies in general

Also I’m sorry but he likes Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson

He likes grindhouse movies and appreciates the gory details but is chill about it Likes cinematography in general

Watches video essays about movies

2- Richie

Unlike Mike, Richie isn’t chill about gory details and whenever someone gags while watching a movie he goes “You think that’s disgusting??? Lmaoooo that’s nothing.”

He’d be the type of guy who brags about being immune to disturbing shit

Google searches include “top ten disturbing movies of all time” “scariest movies ever” “movies worse than a serbian film”

Still likes pink guy and thinks Joji is a genius

Unironically loves the song “I Love Sex” by Pink Guy and listens to it at least once everyday

Uses Discord a lot

Always starts studying on the last day

I think he’d like history

Not like Mike tho, he just likes textbook history and world wars etc

Plays Hearts of Iron and League of Legends

Also :) he likes to code

he is a Linux >>>>>>>>>> Windows kinda guy

Likes breaking bad

And Rick and Morty

Understands politics really well

His music taste is… anime opening songs

Evangelion especially

Likes science fiction books

Pretends to be a flat-earther/conservative/anti-vax for the meme

3- Ben

LIKES BACKSTREET BOYS

and boy bands in general

he is old school and still carries an mp3 around

Doesn’t use spotify, he illegally downloads songs like a champ :D

Likes story rich games

Especially RPG’s. He really likes Planescape Torment and Baldur’s Gate

Kinda lame about women, like he hears Jordan Peterson say something like “the eternal image of the divine feminine” or some shit like that and he goes “wow poetic. agreed”

Doesn’t read “How to woo women” books like Mike but thinks about it a lot that’s for sure

Likes Audrey Hepburn

And Steinbeck

Saves different versions of the same song to his mp3. “The Less I Know The Better but you’re crying in a bathroom” “The Less I Know The Better Slowed & Reverb Listen With Headphones” “The Less I Know The Better Nightcore”

Shares playlists with Eddie

ALWAYS. ALWAYS waits for the person who’s tying their shoes

He notices if someone is walking behind the group alone and walks back to accompany them

If no one laughs at your joke, he does

Bleached his hair once and regretted it immediately Writes poetry in his free time and makes Stan proofread it

Into psychology

Hands always in pockets

Probably owned lots of lego sets as a kid

People go to him for dating advice because he is seen as this “romantic guy”, I mean he is but he gives terrible dating advice

4-Stan

He likes geography

Literally knows all the flags in the world and all the capitals

Blindfold him and give him a country name, he can show you exactly where it is on the map

Also he plays those google earth games where you get a random location and try to find out which country you’re in/ or try to find the nearest airport

Also I feel like he’d like planes a lot

Idk he just likes things that fly lol. Birds, planes etc.

Likes to read classics

LOVES H. P. Lovecraft

carries little poetry books with him everywhere and reads them he’s so cute

Dark academia is his aesthetic

Can play the piano

Likes to read Ben’s poetry :D

Dark humor

His ringtone is Le Festin :)

Has an instagram account but never posts, just watches people’s stories

Very photogenic tho.

He’s a man of culture. He likes visiting aquariums and museums

Hates zoos tho, thinks it’s evil to cage animals

Also I don’t know how to explain it but… He just likes to decorate his place? Like to the clubhouse he’ll bring stuff he likes and just quietly claims a corner as his own and make it as comfortable as he can

Has...beautiful hands

you know how some people cut the cothing labels because it irritates the back of their neck? Stan does that with everything he buys

5- Eddie

Likes Backstreet Boys because of Ben

Replies to texts immediately. Communication and social interaction gives him serotonin

I have no idea why but I feel like he’d have an obsession with Tekken and his favourite character is Ling Xiayou

Big fan of classic playstation games. Loves Spyro, Crash Bandicoot and Ratchet and Clank

He likes wearing long sleeves under t shirts

Listens to emo music, stares out the window and imagines scenarios matching the song he’s listening to

He considers MCR to be emo btw. Loves G note memes

Likes astrology

Can’t watch horror movies, and gets teased by Richie about it

However he likes media that is presented as funky/funny/happy but is actually depressing/disturbing

He likes courtroom dramas

Wears sunglasses indoors for no reason

Probably likes fallout and metro games

Has a collection of finger skateboards

#weirdcore #oddcore #nostalgia #grunge

buys and wears random college sweatshirts

Hates and loves study groups, hates it in the sense that he can’t focus on anything and just wants to hang out and talk, loves it in the sense that he CAN hang out with his friends and talk

Romanticizes everything

6- Bill

Has lots of taurus energy and is sleepy all the time

Has major Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries vibes

Dresses effortlessly

And likes basketball lol.

He just has… boy energy. If that makes sense. Boy next door

Likes to draw his friends

posts his drawings on Instagram

Has lots of OC’s but doesn’t know they’re called OC’s, just refers to them as “this character I created”

He likes being praised a lot ngl

His taste in memes is very similar to Richie’s

You know how they put a random word on top of a random image and it doesn’t make sense at all. He laughs at things like that. Like Richie sends him something like this:

ME WHEN I WHEN

[image of monkey]

BOTTOM TEXT

and he thinks it’s funny and loses his shit im sorry

Like someone sends a picture of Keanu Reeves to the groupchat and texts “g” and he thinks it’s funny???? He sees a picture of a cow in the backrooms and starts choking

He memorized every line in Boneless Pizza and can quote it wihtout stuttering. Like he would be sitting alone talking to himself saying shit like “ya pizza. Watchu want. 2 liter machine broke we got one liter tho. fuck you mean B.”

Never answers calls? Doesn’t like talking on the phone. He just has “Don’t fucking call me when you can text!!” energy

phone is always on silent mode

doesn’t do anything but attracts people anyway

7- Bev

Likes musicals

Theatre kid

Chews gum a lot

And swallows them :(

Likes cottagecore

Buys notebooks with cute covers but can never fill them so she just gives them to bill who turns them into sketchbooks

I think she’d give advice or reaussure people in a way that sounds kinda rude but isn’t really? Like she tells it like it is. Blunt

Likes Avatar The Last Airbender

Sense of humor is:

[Picutre of the fox from Zootopia]

why is he hot help 😭😭😭

wears baggy clothing + long skirts

[daydreamrry]

Naurr not leech lady being Harry's longest relationship. What are you doing Harry? This is gonna be talked about for years and years, he really is single-handedly making that woman famous.

She could be jobless and irrelevant but she would go to sleep at night peacefully knowing that her name's forever attached on every article involved Mr Styles' love life, and lord are there a lot of those.

Also, she dresses so much like him nowadays and it's this precipitate shift from her older fashion choices. When's her version of "there's a piece of you in how I dress" coming? Actually no, I take it back, don't let her ruin Harry's lyrics.

But seriously, how does nobody questions the absurdities of this trainwreck of a relationship? Like whenever I hear about anything from Harry that touches on that hag as well, I can't help but feel that when he's with her, he's a completely different entity in general than the guy we're used to.

Like total 180 degrees, I understand that his perception on relationships in general might have since since he's dated C, but this much? I mean for a guy who had an entire relationship picked and pulled apart due to the paparazzi (rip haylor), how could he be this open with holivia when he knows the repercussions that he could face in the process? And then they're gonna blame the media when they break up(I bet you they would) like????

I get like he knows that Olivia is an open person (by that I mean an attention seeking paparazzi worshipper) but mister protective boyfriend is literally not the sort of person to let his girlfriend dress up like a fan and dance with Tommy in the front row of his tour(after Camille got called derogatory names from a couple fans in the pit), make out with her on a yacht (after the hate Tay got following the NYE kiss) and follow her around like a fucking dog??

Olivia, sincerely, we all wished you'd get eaten by a shark that day when you were on that yacht in Italy and you dived into the water, stop insulting Harry by those articles we all know you sit and write yourself.

Also, she seems like the type of person to write fanfiction about herself, such a narcissistic woman, guess aquariuses aren't the only narc people, olivia beat everyone else at it. Like she literally calls the paps on herself and then says she "doesn't wanna talk to them", literally who tf does that? She's a grown woman...sigh, age is just a number after all, I guess.

Also she's gotten an exact replica of his necklace while he has a dick attached to his so there's no doubt in anybody's mind that it's not the same piece of jewelry, and she's still not the slightest hint of sheepish about it? She really has no self awareness whatsoever, H doesn't even acknowledge her, he shows off how much he's following the pandemic guidelines by maintaining a proper social distance of 6 feet or more with her when they're walking "together".

But no, it's all fine because they're a rich white pretty couple uwu, love's young dream, match made in heaven, couple goals bla bla bla I'm so tired dude.

I'd rather be a flat earther than be a holivian(or whatever tf you call them). I mean hey, I don't know how science works but atleast I have common sense.

Sorry for ranting, people are blind, I'm always going back to that one line H tweeted like eight years ago.

There comes a time when a blind man takes your hand and says "can't you see" ?

That's all.

YES SPEAK ON IT ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️

and they’re called, “Butt Plugs.”

[goodreigenheadcanons]

definitely a flat earther who argues with people on the internet

gaslighting joke incoming but its for retribution i prommy: reigen doesnt mind talking to his mom anymore after learning shes a flat earther. this is bc he pretends to be one too so he can fuck with her. “youre still on the globe conspiracy? heh........wait until you hear about air...” and shes like what. what tell me you worm of a boy and hes like “(: look it up. its all anyone can talk about the truth is out there” and theres nothing bc its too too fucking vague shes typing over and over in goggle “whats about air” “air problems” “evil and secret air” and reigens like well i guess youre just bad at researching c:

[tartagliaxx]

AAAAA YES YES!! Taking a road trip with Childe is always an adventure, and during the entire ride he'll tell you stories from the things you two see that remind him of his family. It wouldn't be so far-fetched to think you'd have a road trip with his family, either! OH and games!! He's a very competitive player, eager to egg you on and taunt and brag like you said, no matter the game. He does not hold back. (Like that one time you two played Mario Kart--the freaking gremlin was saying all these sweet things like he missed you and wanted to see you, but you know the star music when you hear it.) And Uno? Gosh knows if either of you carry a reverse card around to return a compliment (or insult, depending on the scenario lmaoo--). Man, the teachers would probably be happy to see you two again honestly! Maybe even briefly introduce you two to a class if they're in a session atm and talk about how each of you were like as students. AJSHSHSS SCARAMONA AAAAA--I approve 😌😌 especially because Scara definitely sounds like the kinds guy to be a flat earther LMAOO Okay okay but? This also makes the whole reddit scenario hilarious should Childe find out it's him that's asking him for relationship advice. Definitely can see Childe rubbing it in, too, next time they meet. They throw hands. This is nothing new, and somehow you and Mona (should she happen to be there when things go down) bond over the whole situation.

Bruh same. Anything that goes through those pair of hands? Hella shady and dirty. That's why he's like that .01% that won't freaking die and gets into your blood easy akdjdshjw--

-🌻

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS 100%! no but fr the reason why i thought of the scaramona side story is bc i legit think it'll be so funny like "wAIT. IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG?!" "IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ME! BUT YOU??? SCARAMOUCHE U DUMB FUCK— i had no expectations but please you broke ground zero,,," Yes. bond over the fact that your men are a bunch of war freaks who are now battling it out like a bunch of newborn cats. BUT LISTEN— what if childe's advice worked and mona and him got together??? imagine the 'double dates' (really it was just mona looking for moral support) and childe wouldn't stfu about having their kid named after him bc he made it all possible. scara took a pee break? HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR CHILDE 😭😭 they're like literal children i kid you not. at this point, you're wondering if this is a date or babysitting duty. worse, it's actually THEIR playdate, not yours. also, permission to beat childe up when he all but SOFTLY poked you while you were playing jenga granted. oH! and back to the road trip thing. you know those things where your s/o's hand is on your thigh while they drive. or those open cars where you just stand and enjoy the rural area's wind while some song blasts on the radio idk like an old katy perry or taylor swift song or smth. i'm also legally bound to make an ed sheeran reference so yes. childe jamming to castle on the hill while on a road trip with you. good luck not wheezing when he told you that he may or may not have ordered sticker tats that may or may not be a replica of a... certain singer-songwriter's.

*casually slides in my astronaut suit or at the very least, ppe* uhuh you were saying?