#it's nice to have a little representation even if I'm the only one who knows about it

[greenthena]

Buck up, Hamlet!

***Trigger warning: Death and taking your own life in the context of Shakespeare***

Aziraphale likes Hamlet. Likes the play so much, that he bats his eyelashes at Crowley until the demon performs a miracle to make the mopey Prince of Denmark more popular. Well, good job, the both of you, because four hundred and some odd years later, you still can't get through repertory auditions without some bugger hoisting a skull and starting that monologue. Not that I don't appreciate Hamlet from a structural and analytical perspective. And the Prince of Denmark is a character most actors would sacrifice several toes to play. But it's dark. It's not a fun one.

So why does Aziraphale like it so much? Why's this fluffy little angel so Hell-bent on one of Shakespeare's tragedies? Join me, friendly Good Omens scholars, and let's suss some shit out.

Crowley adamantly dislikes Shakespeare's tragedies. "This isn't one of Shakespeare's gloomy ones, is it? Arghhhh. No wonder no one is here," he complains, wilting like a floppy noodle. Of course, it doesn't take much for Aziraphale to weasel the demon into miracling more people into the audience. But Crowley makes a point to say that he "still prefer(s) the funny ones" as he's leaving The Globe.

Crowley, I would argue, goes to the theatre to escape his real-life situation. He's a bloody demon who, when he's not stationed on Earth, literally goes to Hell. And it's not a nice place. Crowley's everyday life (particularly when he's not around Aziraphale) revolves around pain and suffering--whether its his or someone else's is insignificant. What matters is that regularly sees and experiences tangible, visceral representations of tragedy in his actual existence. Of course he prefers Shakespeare's funny ones! They're a reminder that the world and the human race that he's accidentally become so attached to is full of more than torment and affliction. Crowley doesn't appreciate Shakespeare's tragedies because they're an extension of his own suffering, with which he's already intimately familiar. For Crowley, attending a Shakespearean tragedy is like picking a scab. You already know you've been injured and fussing with the damned thing only makes it worse.

This is not the case for Azirapahle. As an angel, he's not allowed to have any scabs, much less pick at them. Like Crowley, he sees suffering in the world. He knows that humanity is constantly facing difficult odds, and even the most wonderful of human lives eventually ends in death. But unlike Crowley, Aziraphale works within a system in which there is no gray space--and therefore, no room for an angel, an agent of the side of righteousness, to experience doubt in the Ineffable Plan. The Heavenly model is to deal with problems by pretending they don't exist. Heaven has an image to maintain, after all. Like, the sheer amount of repression we see amongst the Heavenly Host is honestly terrifying. I'm thinking about the way in which The Metatron frames the Fall and damnation of a third of the angels. "For one Prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice, makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem." It's so cold and removed because to process something so traumatic would not fit the image of Heaven. So it's neatly boxed up and packed away into a soundbite that better fits Heaven's corporate brand.

Aziraphale's suffering is certainly no less than Crowley's. The angel's trauma is repressed. It's cloaked in shining bright hallways of pure angelic light. It's hidden behind false words and tight smiles. It's communicated passive-aggressively by abusers who still have the angel caught in their web of control and manipulation. At least Crowley's trauma is visible. When he fell, the demon took on a new appearance that physically demonstrates his suffering. He has access to feelings of anger and frustration and he's allowed to express these things because he's a demon. He doesn't have to be good.

Since Aziraphale is not permitted to own his emotions and his trauma, he outsources them. He enjoys Shakespeare's tragedies because they give him the opportunity to achieve second-hand catharsis. He may not be able to admit that he's suffering, but he can experience Hamlet's pain vicariously.

***Reminding you of that trigger warning, folks!***

And this is where we get to the question, "To be, or not to be?" This is the moment in S1 E3 when Aziraphale interacts with Richard Burbage, and shouts out, "To be! Not to be! Come on, Hamlet, buck up!" He says this with this coy little smile, obviously trying to get a laugh out of Crowley. But it's indicative of a more serious dilemma that the angel, himself, must parse out. In Shakespeare's play, Hamlet's query is expressed as he wrestles with the choice between life and death. Essentially, it's a contemplation of suicide--a dark part of humanity that Heaven manages by eternally condemning those who would risk it. However there's another way to read this question, not as life and death, but as agency and the lack thereof. We think of "to be" as the choice for life and "not to be" as the option for suicide. But the only way in which Hamlet can express his agency is by taking control of the one thing that truly belongs to him: his own life. So when asking this question of an eternal being, what exactly does it mean, "To be?" What does it mean for Aziraphale to express agency in his immortal existence?

In Western thought, we tend to divide things into binaries: right and wrong, black and white, good and evil...to be or not to be. Back in the Garden if Eden, Crowley first introduced Adam and Eve to the idea that they had a choice. The serpent presented two options, obey or disobey God's authority. Though I think a better way of looking at it would be to say, passively accept your role or have agency in your fate. This is Crowley's method. He never pushes temptations upon you. He just wants to make sure you know all your options.

Like Hamlet, Aziraphale is presented with the choice of, "To be or not to be?" He can sign on the dotted line and follow Heaven's authority or he can be an angel with agency, an angel that goes along with Heaven as far as he can. And though Aziraphale still struggles with how exactly free will pertains to angels, Crowley shows him time and time again that he has options--he can make his own choices. From the very first interaction between the angel and the demon on the wall of Eden, Crowley (ever the optimist) knows there is hope for some meaningful connection with Aziraphale, because the angel makes a choice for himself: he gives away his sword. And from that moment, Crowley realizes that this angel might be just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.

It's no wonder Aziraphale gets attached to the tragedy of Hamlet. It allows him to observe and process the darker and more difficult emotions that he, as an angel, struggles to manage. And perhaps more importantly, the Prince of Denmark's famous soliloquy mirrors of Crowley's method of temptation, wherein the demon simply reminds him that he has a choice and that, even as an angel, he can find ways to express his agency.

[drdemonprince]

this will sound like one of those "let men be masculine" level niche internet community brained posts, but i honestly really was embarrassed of how much i like drag for a while. in the circles that i run in, liking drag too much is seen as pretty cringey and for wealthy cis gays. like everybody knows a few cool avante garde local performers that they fuck with who run queer dance parties that are inclusive and the like, but very few people that i know will just go to a drag show at an entertainment or social engagement for their own sake. it's almost seen as a tourist thing, a normie gay thing.

but its one of the few spaces where i can actually recognize a lot of feminine men and nonbinary man-thing-girly-freaks like of the particular type that i am. leather bars are so masc and buff and im often invisible. bear bars are really nice and i do feel welcome there! but people are only feminine in their mannerisms, not presentation very often. the more explicitly gender inclusive trans/queer spaces cater to more of a wlw and adjacent crowd whose relationships to masculinity and femininity are different from mine. circuit gay bars are obviously terrible.

drag is nice. there's guys with weird little haircuts and long earrings who aren't buff and are swishy and dress interestingly but are a little uncomfortable as their regular selves and have to don alternate personas in order to be outgoing. and i even like that it's okay to be bitchy and insulting sometimes in drag world, like sometimes that is just your genuine feedback on the work someone has done and it's not the end of the world. there's lot of open conflict in the drag world that actually works out pretty alright.

it's a local nightlife scene like all the rest, its got its theater kid bullshit and egos and superficiality out the ass and so many people are trying to be famous or make money, but even to this day i forget that i can just be a really weird feminine guy until i'm around some of them and watching them prance about. i worry about how i look or am being read and then even just watching a fucking drag race episode i'll see like 9 different guys who are so fucking androgynous with their weird assymetrical self cut haircuts that they pass less than i do and they're cis men. they have bodies or faces like i do. and in the local scene it's obviously even better because you're looking at real life people. maybe i should be over it by now but im not, i need to see weird little awkward feminine guys with funny outfits playing dress up and crying and fighting with one another because they never got over their last picked in gym class baggage. its meeee i relateee. i even like that its a little toxic! we've got some issues out here, let's joke with them and make a character of them instead of pretending to be nice!!

i tend to be pretty skeptical of "representation matters!" type shit but part of that is probably because i never really feel represented. i know, boo hoo, thin white man doesnt feel depicted on screen, sounds very silly. but then i see kade gottmik on drag race and i swell with emotion and suddenly feel like who i am is POSSIBLE in this world and i realize that even with all my privileges i am starved for representation and that it does benefit you to have it. theres trans guys on screen but thats not close enough to ping that ooh!!! ahh!!! i can love myself!! radar for me. it has to be a very particular kinda person. matt bernstein makes me feel similarly

[matan4il]

911 ep 706 first watch reactions

Buck and Eddie setting up the bachelor party are so funny. They're married to a degree that the bride and groom can only aspire to one day achieve. And Madney are raising a kid together! Then again, so are Buddie, and have been since day 2... (day 1 is forever Buck ogling Eddie at the station, and Eddie strutting his stuff for him, with Buck's now canonically jealou-traction being the, ummm, lubricant)

Oh, Tommy just arrived, Buck and him have done nothing but hug, and Eddie's already bringing on the jealousy jealou-traction. IDK what is the etiquette about bringing your date to a bachelor party, but what's the rule about bringing your hubby who's jealous of your bf?

Oh, and an extra jab at Buck bringing Tommy officially as his date to the wedding. I love me a jealous Eddie. My dude, your closet is shaking so hard, it's about to push you out of itself if you don't make the move already.

Okay, in all seriousness, Tommy not dressing like the 80's, Buck showing that he really cared about that silly party theme, Eddie rolling with it, the two of them being dressed more as a couple than the actual guys dating, Buddie seeing things so much in the same way (down to both seeing themselves as the same character from Miami Vice) while Buck and Tommy are totally out of sync... I love that Tommy is there to help Buck figure himself out, but also, this is the stuff that will forever keep me shipping Buddie.

I know the flashback is mainly to show that the bachelor party is Buck's idea, and goes against Chim's wishes, but Eddie suggests the couple costume? And Buck was so readily on board? Even when he knew Tommy would also be invited? This is my house catching fire, while I sit here, mumbling to myself how fine it all is...

Okay, everyone leaving the bachelor party, even the guy Buck is dating, while Eddie stays, sure is something. And by "something" I mean "a couple." That's a couple. That's Buck's partner in everything, even dumb ass 80's costumes and failed bachelor parties, he's the one who jumps in whatever stupid plan Buck comes up with, and stays to deal with the mess.

LOL And then we got some REAL mess. Again, dumb Buck idea, and Eddie just rolling with it. Making it worse even, by suggesting how to take the party (made up of people who don't even know the groom) to Chimney. These two deserve each other. XD

Buck was behind Eddie while his shirt was being torn? Presumably helping with the tearing? That's it, 911 does not want me to make it to the end of the season with my sanity intact. I guess it's good that I'm not even trying...

I'm glad there was a representation of Chim and Kevin, and a Korean tradition, I just hope it was a truthful one. (do we have Korean viewers in our midst to chime in on this?)

Maddie using her 911 skills to find and help Chim is pretty badass (and a nice gender reversal of the 'damsel in distress needing to be saved a sec before her wedding' tale). Love it!

Maddie and Chim looked so happy during their wedding. Honestly, at the end of the day, my little hopelessly romantic heart doesn't need more than that. <3

Awwww, the Buck and Tommy kiss was nice. I think the most important part of it is we got to see Buck for the first time daring to kiss another guy, rather than wait to be kissed. I may bbe a Buddie shipper, but I think this r/s is important to Buck as well, to his ability to find what he wants, to not be scared of it, to not wait for others to want him as was the case with all the women he'd dated, but rather figure out what he wants in a certain moment, and that it's okay for him to go get it.

(I still don't think Tommy is Buck's endgame, though. Much as his probably my fave Buck r/s so far other than Eddie. Tommy not being there for Buck when the bachelor party flunked, him not being there at the wedding itself, to share this significant moment with Buck, being almost incidental to Buck's coming out to his colleagues and parents, other than being a gay that was obviously kissed by Buck just a short while ago... Again, just not the stuff great love stories are made of)

Hen going, "Finally!" to Karen was funny and cute. Everyone (almost) just smiling at Buck's coming out was nice. But the way his mom reacted in particular felt more realistic, and made me wish that at least with his parents, who we know he has a strained r/s with, the should would have allowed this to be more explored. Hopefully in a future ep if not now.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

Thoughts and feelings about Izzy in s2ep4 and what it means to me as a fellow disabled person:

Yeah, so, that episode, huh?

You know, I already knew going into this new season that Izzy's storyline is going to hit me hard regardless of the exact little plot points it might have, but it's only now, several hours after I've watched eps 4&5 that I'm really starting to digest what his story means to me in it's current shape. This is... a bit long. I also mention a character from a different show - Isaac from Sex Education.

Izzy has always been a bit of a dick, right? That's the reason a lot of people hated him in the first season.

Well, now he is a bit of a dick and disabled. And let me tell you how fucking ecstatic I am about that.

You see, looking for disabled characters in media I consume has rarely been gratifying - if they are there at all, which already is rare, they have very little to do, and if they're even semi-important, they're almost always the epitomes of goodness. Nice, understanding, quiet, patient.

Barely there.

The first time I truly felt something change in this area was with the appearance of Isaac in Netflix's Sex Education. He's sarcastic, funny, talented, honest and mean.

The fandom of that show hated Isaac, let me tell you.

It was mostly because he took direct action to separate the main ship of the show that had many people obsessed. As you'd expect. People's ableism immediately jumped out. As you'd expect.

Because how dare he have his own motivations and wants, and to do what he thinks is right?

Barely there.

And now we have Izzy. Izzy, who also did what he thought was right, which in s1 of the show was trying to separate Ed and Stede. He wasn't trying to make himself too likeable at any point (well. when the crew almost mutinied on him in s1 he did do a last ditch effort but. you remember how well that went).

My point is that now we have someone who isn't particularly nice, and now he's dealing with a sudden loss of ability in his body, which is going to make him even worse. He's angry! Of course he is! He's hobbling around with half a leg gone, humiliated, exhausted, barely recovered from impromptu amputation, no anesthesia. And a suicide attempt! He's angry at himself, his body, at Ed, at Stede, at God if he still believes in one, and who knows who else.

He isn't suddenly going to become nicer to people just because. He doesn't need to be humbled.

(a little sidenote: I do not accept the reasoning that Izzy somehow deserved to lose his leg, that "oh what did he expect riling up Ed when he was heartbroken?" etc. He wasn't expecting to get shot in the fucking leg. Nobody fucking deserves that, and if you think that Ed shooting him in the leg and Izzy subsequently having to have it amputated was an "appropriate punishment" for "what he's done", you're just cruel and wrong. Now scram.)

But that's the point. Disabled people deserve help regardless of whether or not we are nice.

Thankfully (not from Izzy's point of view - his pride was definitely bruised in that moment) the crew saw him struggle, and acted in kind. Because Izzy is their dick. And now - also their unicorn.

And it means so much to me that we get the representation of disabled people who thrash around and rattle the bars of their societal cages, furious at the world that isn't welcoming to us, and receive love and care and an invitation to a loving community regardless.

We shouldn't have to be here just when ableds are ready to give. We aren't meek vessels for your good will. Izzy is such a painfully realistic (as far as the universe of the show permits, given it's unavoidable goofiness) portrayal of the anger of someone who's lost some of their body's past ability, and how one might deal with it.

And I really wanted to say something about that, because I'm afraid it might get lost in the discussion about the more popular and more easily digestible aspects of the show.

[sailoryooons]

Had a big flop of a date and I'm sad.

Need a bff Yoongi that listens to your wallowing and tells you you don't need to be getting your feelings hurt by other dumb boys because he's RIGHT HERE and he's ready to give you everything you need )))):

❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

❀ Summary: You’re tired of the revolving door of boys in your life. Yoongi is tired of watching you nurse feelings in the quiet of your apartment. 

❀ Word Count: 1,406

❀ Genre: Friends to something more, a little angst, fluff

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Warnings: A little bit of angst, descriptions of loneliness and frustrations on dating, a little bit of insecurity, Hali’s Obnoxious Takes on Dating in 2023, a cute lil kiss, nothing too crazy

❀ Published: August 18, 2023

❀ A/N: Pardon me while I wax poetic about the current state of dating, especially with all these damn apps in the world. I hope this was able to capture how you felt in a way that feels authentic and then shatter it and make it better by offering a very sweet Yoongi ready to date you. I am so sorry your date was shitty, genuinely this is why I do not go on them!!!! This is currently unedited.

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

| Masterlist | Ask | Hali’s Happy Agust |

Outside of your apartment window, the world is washed in gold. As the sun sets, you wish you could appreciate it a little more. The world looks beautiful outside, buildings like hammered bronze in the light, curtains lit up like a flame as they catch the rays of sun.

You look away from it, staring at your TV that is turned off instead. It’s silent in your apartment, the hum of the refrigerator the only noise. With your legs crossed on the couch, you tap your nails against the steaming mug of tea in your hands.

Sitting. Waiting. 

In another life, you’d perhaps be out on a date on account of the nice evening. The cool autumn air drifts through the cracked window, carrying the scent of possibility.

The only dates you’ve been on usually go two ways: they end in blocked numbers after uncomfortable interactions, or hurt feelings after being strung along for a few dates before eventually sending unanswered texts. 

It makes sense that dating is hard, but no one ever told you it would be this hard, trying to swim in a rushing river of dating apps, men who use therapy-speak to excuse their bad behavior, and people who have no accountability for others feelings. 

The sound of the front door opening brings you out of your melancholy daze. Yoongi walks in with a bag of takeout, immediately filling your apartment with the smell of fried wontons and the distinct hint of soy sauce. 

For the first time that day, you grin, unfolding from your spot on the couch and heading to wear Yoongi throws you a nod, already unbagging the food. You move wordlessly in tandem, grabbing drinks from your fridge with extra sauce and napkins. By the time you’ve returned to the counter to sit, Yoongi is already on his self-appointed stool, holding out his hand for chopsticks. 

This is what you need, you think as you pass them over. Someone who can speak to you without words, someone who just knows. Knows that when you sit down next to him, you need him to lean over and press a gentle kiss to the top of your head. It’s affection between friends, but it makes your heart flip. It always does, and you always ignore it.

“Talk to me about it,” Yoongi says, picking up a saucy strip of beef. “I want to hear about it.”

He doesn’t. Yoongi doesn’t say these things for his benefit. He says them because he knows that you’re too afraid of being inconvenient or annoying to speak the thoughts rolling around your head. His instincts are spot on - you do want to let out what’s inside of you, and the gentle encouragement that he wants to hear it does the trick.

“I guess I just don’t know what the point is,” you start, staring at your rice. “I really want a partner and someone that I can do life with or whatever so I’m less lonely, but I’m also so sick of first dates and having to play a game of social chess.”

“Dating in this era is impossible,” Yoongi agrees. “There’s a lot of very unempathetic and unaware individuals.”

“Exactly. Or people think they have endless options and it’s like, just because someone is in your DMs telling you that you look nice doesn’t mean that’s a potential suitor. It just means someone thinks you’re hot.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Okay, so the last guy basically told me that he wanted to keep his options open because he has options. And it got me thinking: do people actually have all these options for life partners, or is it just people who are giving them attention online?”

“I see.”

“Online clout is not the same as a relationship option,” you conclude. “And I’m tired of people confusing the two. Or getting people who think it’s cool not to care about their partner or who use weaponized therapy words at me to avoid accountability. I had some guy tell me he was setting a boundary for me on monogamy and that me being interested in a one-on-one relationship was a violation of his feelings and that I need to be open.”

Yoongi stops eating and looks at  you. His mouth presses in a firm line, the only sign that he’s truly irritated. “Did he say that before you started to go on dates?”

“Nope. Only later when I became invested.”

“Then it’s bullshit,” Yoongi scoffs, shaking his head. “You’re interested in different things, not violating a boundary. What an asshole.”

“They all are.”

Groaning, you press your forehead to your palm, supporting the weight of your head with your elbow on the counter. You hate this. Hate the way it all makes you feel, hate that you want something so bad but it seems just out of your reach, hate that you’d love to find someone like Yoongi.

Once, you’d thought about asking him. You’d decided that your friendship was more important, because without him, who is there? 

Now you look for someone - anyone - to do the bare minimum. To not make it feel like you’re searching for a needle in a haystack the size of Olympus, or like you’re being irrational for wanting human decency. 

“I’m not,” Yoongi says softly. You hum a question, confused as to what he’s talking about. “An asshole,” he clarifies. “I’m not an asshole.” 

“Well I know that. But I’m not dating you.”

“So try it, then.”

You lift your head from your palm, looking at him sharply. Yoongi isn’t much in the way of poking fun at you - not in a way that is really at your expense. He doesn’t seem to be joking now, staring at you with honest, brown eyes, chewing his lip. 

“What?” 

“I said what I said.” He drops his gaze for a second - perhaps towards your lips - and meets your eyes again. Your heart speeds up, thudding against your ribcage. “So try dating me.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

He scowls. “Of course I’m not. I’m being serious.”

“You want to go on a date with me?” He nods. “Why?”

Blowing out a long exhale of air, Yoongi shrugs. The golden light from the sunset hits him at just the right moment, then. He’s wreathed in gold, a shining beacon of hope. Of an answer. Of something more. You lick your lips as Yoongi considers his answer. 

“Because I like you, for starters,” he says, giving you a look. A look that means he thinks you’ve asked a silly question. “Because I think that you are wonderful and creative, and a gentle soul. Because I think you deserve someone who is interested in working on something with you, and who won’t flee at the first sign of conflict. Because I empathize with you, I enjoy doing life with you, and because you’re beautiful.”

Any worry you’ve had about your feelings for Yoongi comes to a standstill. There, in your apartment, in the honey-haze of evening, you drop your chopsticks and press forward. Curious, a little bold, a little terrified. Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath of air when he realizes what you’re doing, but he lets you anyway. 

Yoongi’s lips are soft. He tastes a little like soy sauce and sweet and sour, but you don’t care. Your heart thrums in your chest and your hands shake when you lift them to cradle his face. His hands go to your waist, holding you confidently, like they were made to fit there. 

Warmth blooms inside of your chest, unfurling dizzy petals as you pull your lips away from his. You don’t know where you got the bravery, but as your eyes flutter open to meet his gaze, deep and unwavering, you realize you don’t know why you were ever scared to consider him. 

Yoongi has always been right there. Holding your hand when you were lonely, offering a joke when you were sad. There have been countless times you could have had this, you realize. Little moments where the tension grew too thick or your gazes lingered too long. 

It’s only until now that someone was brave enough to say something. 

“Okay,” you breathe, fingers gentle against his warm face. He smiles, eyes crinkling. “It’s really that easy, huh?”

“It always was. I was always right here.”

You press your lips against his again, chaste and sweet. 

“You’re right. You were always right here.” 

[randomshyperson]

Beach Weekend - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: A chaotic and disastrous weekend with your lovely family and group of friends has some issues: Steve Rogers should not be left to take care of the accommodation, everyone has lost their jobs and Wanda is a very jealous wife. || Based on a Brazilian movie.

Warnings: (+16) attempt at humor, chaotic domesticity, lots of cuteness and jokes, established relationship, mentions and innuendo of smut and mentions of homemade artificial insemination, explicit language (cursing) || Words: 6.004k

A/N: I was talking to abimess about the lack of Brazilian representation in basically everything, and she had the brilliant idea of a special collection with stories with a Brazilian Reader. However, none of us would have the time to do it, still, I plan to write some loose stories about it. This story for example is based on a very famous Brazilian comedy film, hope you all like it.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad |

--//--

Being an adult usually had only two meanings: Not having the time or not having money. And both could happen simultaneously.

Yet, with the mass resignation of the Bishop Security Company after the owner's exposure of felony evasion, you and your co-workers and closest friends, Maria Hill and Steve Rogers, decided that the insurance money would be a good opportunity to have decent summer vacation for once in your life.

Convincing your wife would be the tricky part.

"Absolutely not." Wanda spoke with an indignant expression as soon as you finished counting. "We need to save money, Y/N. You still haven't received any feedback on the resumes you sent out, and we're not going to waste our savings because Rogers wants to have beers on the beach." Wanda declared seriously, but at that moment, the twins were coming down the stairs, and Tommy let out an excited exclamation.

"Are we going to the beach?" 

"No, Tommy-"

But if there was one thing Wanda had a problem doing, it was saying no to her boys' puppy dog eyes - and coupled with your kisses - she rolled her eyes and eventually agreed.

So, you left New York in a pickup truck with your family headed for the seashore.

"Who took care of the lodging?" Wanda asked from the passenger seat - she looked, in your humble opinion, stunning in her sunglasses. 

You turned down the radio a little to answer her.

"Steve. He said something about an old friend who had a boat and a beach house." You answer and Wanda hums in agreement, half distracted with her cell phone. You look through the rearview mirror at the twins, also focused on electronic devices, and sigh. "You know, it would be nice if we tried to disconnect a little from the Internet this holiday, don't you guys think?"

No one even hears your question, and you roll your eyes before turning the radio back up.

You stayed on the road for almost three hours because of the traffic, but everyone was very pleased when the sea became visible. The joy lasted only for the next 20 minutes.

"Are you sure we are at the right address?" Wanda asked with a grimace as soon as you parked the car in front of an old gate, a considerable amount of moss covering the bricks, and grass growing everywhere.

You were equally confused, and got out of the car with some hesitation, looking around. It was a somewhat isolated area from the rest of the houses, but the yard led to the beach. From the beam of the gate you could see that there was also a swimming pool.

Taking your cell phone, you dialed Steve's number while your family waited in the car - Wanda leaned into the back seat to calm the twins who were already starting to get restless.

"Rogers, I think we missed the entrance or something. Are you here yet?"

"No, I'm about ten minutes away. Send me your location and I'll pick you up."

But apparently, you were in the right place. And when Steve Rogers parked his car next to yours, you were just as annoyed as Wanda.

"You said you were going to take care of the lodging!" You accused the blond who held up his hands in surrender. 

"Hey, I said I knew the owner, that's different!" He defended himself. "Sam said the place is nice, you haven't even been in and you're already making judgments." He argues. "And stop yelling at me in front of my fiancé, it's bad luck." He whispered the last part, taking advantage of Bucky getting out of the car, and you rolled your eyes impatiently.

The place was not nice. It was a surprise that it was actually standing. 

You only didn't choke Steve because Maria arrived on a motorcycle with her girlfriend and she looked like she was going to do it first.

"Rogers, I promised her an incredible weekend and you put us in this hole!" Maria grunts between teeth as the three of you are supposedly checking out the kitchen, your families waiting for you in the living room.

"Look, the value was really good! I had no idea the place was in this condition." Steve defends himself. "Sam told me it was his family's house, and that they haven't been here in a few years..."

"More like a few centuries." You retort rubbing your forehead. You can hear Wanda's voice asking the kids not to touch anything, acknowledging that pitch of anger, and you can already imagine the lecture. And honestly, she's right.

"I'll call Sam." Steve says, sounding like he's more about running away from the discussion than solving something.

To add to Wanda's irritation, you had also suggested that she invite Pietro and his family, figuring that your friend would have picked a really nice place. So when the twin arrived with Monica and little Luna, you knew that the thin ice had burst.

Pietro let out a laugh when he saw the state of the room.

"It looks like a hurricane came through in here." He commented dropping one of the suitcases on the floor, his wife holding her daughter as if afraid she would catch some disease from the floor. "Well, I'll take the larger room!"

Pietro's sentence caused a commotion. You shuddered at the look Wanda threw you before she ran to catch up with the boys who went to dispute the room with their uncle, and you sat down on the old couch with a grunt, a migraine forming.

"Sam said he'll be here in fifteen minutes." Steve informs you and Maria as he returns to the living room with a cell phone in hand.

Apparently, it was the housekeeper's fault. Sam was a nice guy, and really didn't know that the house wasn't being taken care of properly. It took him almost 30 minutes to arrive however because he brought several pieces of cleaning equipment to help improve the appearance of the house.

"Amazing, guys! I go to the beach with everyone who has nothing to do with the choice of lodging and the rest of you are left in charge of cleaning." Wanda declares to the room and no one has the courage to contradict her.

And so you spend the rest of your afternoon trying to get mold out of the inside of a pool.

"Natasha seems nice." Steve tells Maria a few hours into the cleanup when the three of you are taking old bottles out. 

"She's amazing." Your friend retorts with an excited sigh. "I was a little unsure about this open relationship thing, but we're doing fine."

"Wait, does that mean you two can sleep with other people?" Steve asks surprised, and Maria giggles, shaking her shoulders as the three of you make your way back inside, at least three rooms with plenty of cleaning to be done yet.

"If we are in agreement, yes." Answers the brunette. 

"Damn I could never do that." Steve comments and you hum in response.

"Just the thought of Wanda sleeping with someone else makes my skin itch." 

"I didn't know you were the jealous type, Y/N." Maria comments and you give a short laugh, your hands busy moving the pillows to dust them off.

"Have you seen my wife, Hill? No, wait, don't look at her like that." You joke making all three of you laugh. "I'm not really, just truly monogamous. Believe me, Wanda is jealous of this relationship."

Steve laughed in agreement. "Oh, I recall that. Before you joined the company, Maria, Y/N trained a new girl, I think her name was Carol or something. Wanda looked ready to rip someone's head off every time her name was mentioned."

"I thought it was cute." 

"It was scary." Steve contradicts making you laugh. 

You get back to cleaning the house between conversations about work and side scares, and as the place gets cleaner, the anger about the inconveniences eventually takes a back seat.

Wanda and the others don't return until late afternoon, the kids running in dirty with sand and making a huge mess in the shower.

You are testing the waters calmly, but realize that a day at the beach with the twins seems to have relaxed Wanda a bit. You try to improve things a bit by promptly offering to take care of the twins, cleaning up all the mess and making sure they were in their pajamas and ready for dinner without delay.

Wanda smiled at you in thanks before heading to the kitchen and that made you sigh with relief.

"She's mad." Tommy warns you as you dry his hair and you look at your son with a grimace.

"Are you sure?"

"She smashed the volleyball." It is Billy who answers, and you sigh with slight panic.

"Boys do you have any suggestions?" You ask them, going to dry the other's hair. 

"A new house." Tommy mutters taking an elbow from his brother.

"Foot massage, mommy. And you could buy some chocolates too." Billy suggests and you smile at them.

"You two are the best." You say kissing the head of each before letting them run into the kitchen.

—------—------

Everyone was tired from the trip and the beach, so plans for the barbecue and pool would be left for the next few days. The children were put in one room, and you, Wanda and Maria and Natasha in the other, while Steve and Bucky took the couches. The hammocks for Pietro and Monica.

"Did you girls get to know each other well?" Maria asked when the four of you were in the room. You were sitting cross-legged on the bed, waiting for Wanda to finish drying her hair and get into bed, while Natasha was grabbing bath items to use after Maria who had just left the shower.

Wanda and Nat exchanged gentle smiles. "Yes, Natalia is a sweetheart." Your wife commented, causing Maria to smile. "She mentioned that you guys almost went to St.Petersburg, but ended up choosing the beach. I imagine the regret must be bitter." Wanda joked, and although Maria and Nat laughed, you knew it was a warning that she hadn't forgiven you yet.

"I don't know, Wanda, trading thick coats for the chance to see this goddess in a bikini seems like a good game." Natasha flirts with her girlfriend, stealing a kiss on the way to the bathroom, and as soon as the door closes, Maria grunts with excitement, ignoring the giggles from you and Wanda.

"God, that woman is going to kill me." Hill said. 

"Doesn't it make you want to keep her all to yourself?" You tease just to torment her, and Maria chuckles, raising her middle finger at you. Wanda watches the scene with confusion.

"What do you mean?" She asks, and Maria quickly tries to explain about them being in an open relationship. "Wow, that's... modern."

You give a short laugh, which Maria follows. "Come on Maximoff, you can say you think it's a crazy idea. Steve does."

But Wanda shrugs her shoulders, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "No, I think it's nice. If it works for you, and it's something you like, then I really don't see why it would be a problem. In fact, it sounds interesting, I imagine you guys must never get bored."

Maria laughs, commenting that boredom has never been a problem, but you frown in hesitation. 

"In fact, girls, I think Nat forgot her soap and I would never want her to have her bath marred by that little triviality..." Maria says a moment later, ignoring the rolling of your eyes to run to the bathroom and you turn your attention back to your wife lying on the bed beside you.

"Hey, pretty girl, since when do you think an open relationship is cool?" You ask, moving to the edge of the bed without delay, your hands finding Wanda's feet to place them in your lap. She gives a confused giggle.

"What, I'm not allowed to?" She retorts half sarcastically, the irritation over the events from earlier still fresh in her mind. 

You sigh. "You can think whatever you want, Wanda. I was just surprised. And that talk about being bored..." Your voice grew a little unsure, causing Wanda to frown in curiosity. "It wasn't about us was it?"

Wanda giggled incredulously. "By God, honey."

"What? It's an honest doubt." You defend yourself with flushed cheeks, and Wanda bites back a smile. She would like to be irritated with you for more than a few hours, but you make the job so difficult.

"Baby, we have sex almost every day."

"Yeah, but you could be getting tired..." You mutter upset, your fingers massaging Wanda's feet and she grunts softly.

"I promise I'm not." 

"So you wouldn't want to open our marriage?" 

"Babe, don't make me kick your pretty face." Wanda warns causing you to chuckle. She closes her eyes to enjoy the massage better and you smile affectionately as you watch the soft sighs that leave her lips in appreciation of the touch.

You lick your lips a minute later, stopping your movements to lean down and kiss her thighs, making Wanda open her eyes.

"What are you doing?" She asks almost tense, her gaze going to the closed door. You only press a hand to her stomach to get her to lie back down, and the other pulls the comforter over you.

"Making sure there's no boredom." You retort, fingers climbing up into her nightgown as your mouth kisses the inside of her thigh and up, making Wanda shudder softly.

"Baby, the girls could be back any moment..." She reminds you with the last remaining bit of sanity, but you only laugh softly against her skin.

"Adrenaline makes everything better, don't you think?" It is your last comment, and Wanda will not argue any further.

–//–

The second day is infinitely better than the first. Apparently, one orgasm is enough for Wanda to forgive you for a bad weekend, and when you join everyone on the beach, it's really fun.

The only inconvenience is Pietro mistaking sunscreen for suntan lotion and turning all the kids into shrimp, which stresses the mothers out to a considerable degree.

You end up going back early because of this, and you offer to go to the pharmacy to get some ointment for them, being joined by Natasha in the car as the woman also wanted to buy some items. 

You chat a bit on the way, she has a sarcastic humor but is pleasant company. She also flirts a lot with the natural way in which compliments escape her, and the interaction leaves you feeling a bit awkward. 

The problem is that for your wife, you arriving with easy smiles and a flushed face with a beautiful woman like Natasha is not exactly the best thing in the world. So her passive hostility from before returns and you have no idea why.

You focus on soothing the burns of the three naughty children on the couch for the moment though.

Wanda, on the other hand, is quite interested in finding out why you arrived laughing with Natasha, and once the redhead joins Steve and Bucky in preparing the barbecue, the shorter one is trying to sound as casual as possible.

"[...] your wife is really very nice, that's all." Natasha assures amiably, her hands busy grabbing a cold beer. "I told her about not knowing New York very well, and she told me that with the company's trainee program she ended up getting to know the city like the back of her hand and that if I were in Queens sometime, we could schedule a coffee. She is very helpful."

Wanda forces a smile. "Yes, very helpful. Lovely." She commented, the sarcasm being missed by Nat, who wasted no time in continuing the conversation.

You didn't understand any of the murderous looks you received from Wanda every time she took a sip of beer while talking to Nat, but honestly, you were afraid to ask.

The barbecue gets livelier as Pietro gets the radio and speakers working, and you proudly fill the pool that you have successfully cleaned.

While the kids are playing in the water, you approach Wanda from behind, hands on her waist, but when you go to kiss her, she turns her face away and you end up just brushing up against her cheek.

She takes a long swig of beer, prologuing the lack of explanation and causing you to raise an eyebrow. 

"What's wrong?" You ask in a whisper, holding her by the waist while the others are busy dancing and talking.

"Nothing." She retorts between teeth, returning the bottle to the counter in front of her, leaning her ass against you. 

"Wanda." You insist, appreciating the warmth, but worried about the way she is acting.

Your wife just turns her face to you, an innocent expression that doesn't match the way her eyes are shining. "It's nothing, honey, I just heard about you being the best tour guide in New York."

You frown in confusion. "What...?"

But Wanda slips your hands away as she spins her body around, hands finding the collar of your shirt. "So helpful with other people's girlfriends."

You sigh as you understand. "Wanda, I was just trying to be nice..." You try, but she leans her face against yours, brushing your lips together and making you lose your line of reasoning. Wanda kisses you softly and suddenly bites your mouth just on the limit so as not to hurt, the gentle pain being a clear reminder of her annoyance, and you grunt softly as she pulls away. " No need to be mean."

She gives a naughty little laugh, licking her lips and attracting the immediate attention of your eyes. 

But your interaction is interrupted when Steve announces that the couple he befriended on the beach earlier was at the gate. Tony Stark, his wife Pepper, and their daughter Morgan had brought more food and drinks for the barbecue, and you whispered that you were going to be as friendly as ever just to tempt her.

The barbecue continues throughout the day. Everyone gets to know each other, and around three, you decide that you would also like to join the pool, and having gotten busy you were not yet in your swimsuit.

You went inside to change and found the bathroom empty. Since everyone was outside and you were only going to put your top on, you didn't lock the door. As soon as you took off your shirt, someone came in. 

Nat closed the door and turned around, surprised to find you without clothes.

"Oh, sorry, my bad." She apologized without any shame, just regret that she had intruded. The problem is that when she went to open the door, the old doorknob made a noise and fell to the floor. "That's not good."

You put on your T-shirt in record time, moving to the door as well.

"Shit." You grumbled, trying to push the door open but to no avail. You immeasurably started to knock, but the loud sound muffled it. "No, no, no."

Natasha gave a confused giggle at your reaction. "Look, that sucks, but I promise I'm not the worst company to be locked up with." She jokes, a little unsure, after all, she was the girlfriend of one of your close friends and just wanted to make a good impression.

You gesture to her quickly. "Oh, no, it's not you. I just need to get out of this bathroom before my wife dreams that I ended up in a small space with a beautiful woman."

"Well, thank you." She retorts and you grunt in embarrassment, but Nat seems to be finding the whole thing amusing. She leans on the wall next to the door, pulling out her cell phone and you sigh impatiently, trying to slam the door again.

Shortly after, you hear footsteps and knock harder.

"Hey, we're stuck!" You warn.

"Mom?" it's Tommy's confused voice, and you sigh in relief.

"Yes, honey, Aunt Nat and I got stuck in the bathroom, try calling Uncle Pietro without alerting anyone and-"

"MAMA! MOMMY GOT STUCK IN THE BATHROOM WITH AUNT NATASHA" Tommy shouts into the hallway with a mischievous laugh, and you feel your body freeze. Even Nat laughs softly at your reaction.

Wanda moves so fast out of her seat that the pillows hit the floor. She reaches the door in a rage and starts knocking hard.

"Y/N? OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!"

You shudder, taking a step away. "Wanda, honey, the lock broke..."

Another loud knock. You heard other footsteps, and the music slowed, so it wasn't hard to deduce that the whole group was in the hallway.

"What happened people?" Pietro asked confused.

"Pietro, Natasha, and I got stuck in here." You replied from the other side and wanted to dig yourself a hole for giggles.

"Everyone out now." Wanda speaking tapped her foot, and you heard footsteps and giggling children, signaling that the children all ran to the pool again. "Y/N, open this door right now!"

You sigh wearily, looking around. Natasha moves as well, grabs a toothbrush, and pats you on the shoulder to make room for her.

"Maybe if we shove this in here..." She comments but is interrupted by a loud exclamation and laughter from the other side.

"SHOVE IT IN? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Wanda questions explosively, and you grunt softly.

"Look, sestra, from the sounds of it it must be good stuff." Pietro sneers, and you hear a slapping noise and another chuckle. 

Natasha seems to be having a hard time holding back her laughter, offering you a frown by Wanda's reaction, but all you do is sigh and sit down on one of the little stools by the door.

"Wanda, relax, I'm sure it's fine in there." Steve tries to reassure her.

"Yes, I'll go look for a screwdriver." It is Bucky who speaks and you hear his footsteps getting away.

"Of course, it's fine, by the way, it's a great opportunity for a bonding hour." Pietro teases getting another chuckle, but you sink your face into your own hands, grumbling in frustration. "Wow, I think they've even started."

The snickering makes you blush with embarrassment, but soon you jump in fright because Wanda gives another loud knock on the door.

"Y/N, I swear to god if I hear any more strange sounds..." She warns between teeth, and you swallow dryly, not even daring to breathe too loudly. 

Natasha gives up trying to open it with her toothbrush, seeing that it wouldn't work and leans back on the wall.

"I don't know about you, Wanda, but sometimes silence can even be worse." Monica joins in the tormentors, and you hear Pietro laughing as well. "who knows what the mouth is doing other than talking"

"Y/N!” Wanda calls immediately with her voice trembling with rage. “Speak! Now!"

You roll your eyes and Natasha answers for you, "Guys, stay calm, everything is under control in here."

"Yes, Wanda, we're just waiting." You say.

"Yeah, Y/N, keep talking!" Your wife warns.

"What's the use of talking, we don't know where her hands are..." Pietro adds making Monica laugh. You place a hand over your face in disbelief.

Wanda's shaky voice calls out to you again. "What are you doing with your hands? Clap them!"

"My god, that's ridiculous." You mutter.

"Clap.Them." Wanda repeats between teeth, her voice laden with irritation, and you sigh impatiently before obeying. "That's it, keep going. I better know where your hands are!"

"Wanda, I won't be-"

"I swear to god Y/N-" She interrupts you and you don't have to command again before you clap your hands again. "That's it, good. Now speak, or sing."

Fuck this.

Pietro and Monica start laughing, and Natasha also gives up on holding in her giggles. Luckily, Bucky comes back with the screwdriver. 

About ten minutes later, the door opens, and you only have time to stare at Wanda in confusion before the woman leaves in a rage and dragging her feet away.

"If she kills me, I will haunt you both." You warn Pietro and Monica, who just laugh at your distress before you follow the same path as Wanda.

Although it is not really your fault, you feel very bad to find your wife on the verge of tears, with her arms crossed and sitting on the sand, a few meters away from the house.

You sigh softly, making noise with your steps to announce your arrival before sitting down beside her.

"Sorry." You murmur and Wanda shudders, keeping her gaze on the ocean. "I should have, um, locked the door before the doorknob broke."

"I'm not mad." She grumbles. "I know it wasn't your fault."

You look at her with concern. "Then...why are you crying?"

"I don't know." She answers with a soft sniffle, wiping her tears away quickly. "It's stupid."

You sigh, moving one of your fingers to give the strap of her shorts a gentle tug, "Come on, talk to me." You insist sweetly, and Wanda takes a deep breath, her gaze on her own feet.

"I just... it's stupid, but sometimes, I have these thoughts. About you, finding someone cooler or I don't know, hot. Someone who does things more fun than cleaning the carpet or preparing kids' breakfasts. Or I don't know, some of the incredibly interesting people you meet every day who actually go places instead of spending the day writing about it." Wanda blurts out, and you sigh deeply. 

She has never said these insecurities to you. Not since college at least. And because you were so sincerely in love with her, the possibility that Wanda might feel insecure never crossed your mind.

"Hey, come here." You call out to her, bringing your hands to her hips. "Where did that come from?" 

Wanda hides her face in your chest, her cheeks burning. "I don't know, it just did come." She mumbles against your skin. 

Before, when you were younger and more hesitant, you would often reassure her. But after marriage, god, after children, you just assumed Wanda knew she was the love of your life. But she apparently still let her insecurities get the best of her. And it was okay.

"Sometimes I think you'll meet a super literature genius and forget about me." You confess to her as you hold her, and Wanda gives a confused little laugh. 

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm." You mutter. "Remember when you won that writing contest last summer, and that handsome professor came over to ask for your number?"

"And I said I was married?" Wanda asks raising her gaze to you.

"Yep, that's the one." You say. "I was so insecure all night because all my head could think about was you moving on with someone far more intelligent and well resolved."

"That's ridiculous, I love you."

"I know, that's exactly my point." You retort with a chuckle that she accompanies. "Besides, that night you couldn't even wait for us to get out of the car so you obviously were crazy about me-"

Wanda smacks you in the ribs, laughing along with you. "Idiot." She says, sliding her arms around you.

"Sorry for making you clap your hands." She asks then, and you laugh softly. 

"It's okay, baby." You say. "Do you want to go back inside?"

"Can I get a kiss first?" She asks with a pout raising her eyes to you. 

"Hmm, as many as you want." You whisper back, leaning in to meet her mouth and feeling her smile against your lips. Wanda slides her tongue against yours slowly, and you move your hands down to squeeze her ass, pushing her against your hips and getting an affected sigh. "Just for the record, Maximoff. You are the hottest woman in the world." You compliment with your eyes ajar, smiling at the way that although she rolls her eyes, her cheeks turn pink.

–//–

The last day of the weekend had everything to be perfect, so it was the most disastrous of all.

Someone - you prefer not to accuse, although everyone knows who sleeps in the living room takes care of those things - forgot to close the windows, and the early morning rain got half the appliances on the countertop wet and damaged. Pietro was quite grumpy without his coffee.

The children have become even more energetic in the last day, and almost impossible to keep up with. You lost sight of Tommy for the fourth time and were trying to help Billy get his arm out of a jar when you heard the sound of something falling.

The whole house heard it, actually, and in record time, it was the whole group outside, where Tommy had just fallen off an old ladder trying to climb the fence.

"What are these kids taking?"  Steve asks half startled, but you are busy going to check on your son who has apparently twisted his wrist.

"Mommy's hurting." Tommy whimpers as you sigh nervously, grabbing his arm to check.

"It doesn't look broken dear. Come on let's put some ice on it." 

Aside from Tommy's injury, apparently, Wanda couldn't decide whether to stay on good or bad terms with you this weekend. As soon as she finished checking for the tenth time that her son wasn't forcing his injured hand, she sent you one of her angry glances on the way to the bathroom and you sighed in confusion, the sound attracting the attention of Monica, who was preparing lunch next to you.

"Everything okay there, Y/N?" She asked gently, and you forced a smile.

"Yeah, it's nothing." You mumble, but meet Monica's gaze and sigh. "It's just Wanda."

"Are you two going through a crisis?" she teases but you widen your eyes.

"What? Why, did she say something?"

Monica gives a confused giggle, "No, Y/N, I'm just teasing you." She assures you still smiling, and finishes throwing some of the vegetables into the pot. "Is this about the house? Cause it all turned out to be fun."

"God, I have no idea." You gasp softly in frustration. "She keeps having these mood swings, one minute we're in paradise and the next she looks ready to jump at my neck."

"Oh, but that makes sense for someone in her condition." Monica mutters and you frown in confusion. Seeing your face, the other woman hesitates.

"What condition?"

Monica gives a nervous little laugh, shaking her head. "I meant, I imagine she was nervous about the dismissal from the company and-" She starts to reel, but you cut her off:

"Monica, what condition?"

The woman sighs in defeat. "Sorry, Y/N. I didn't know Wanda hadn't told you yet." She says twisting her fingers. "She found out she's pregnant."

You give a short laugh, thinking it's a joke. But Monica's face doesn't have a trace of humor in it. 

"B-but we haven't been trying for months and-" you stammer but shut up when you realize that the possibility is quite possible. Because you had tried, a lot, to increase the family a few months ago with the whole homemade insemination and donation sperm, until the layoffs at Bishop started happening and as the tests kept showing negative, you and Wanda left the idea for later. But, apparently, it had worked. 

"I'll get you some water." Monica says as she sees your pallor, but you turn around, shaking your head.

"No, I'm fine. I need to talk to my wife." That's what you say before you drop the food knife and leave the kitchen.

Wanda is packing the boys' bags in the last room when you run into her. Everything would be fine if she weren't sniffling softly.

You close the door gently, sighing so she won't be startled, and she quickly wipes her face.

"Hey, sweetheart." You greet her by moving closer and sitting down next to her on the bed, knee to knee. "Why are you crying?"

Wanda gives a tearful laugh. "I have no idea." She replies making you smile affectionately, one hand moving to intertwine with hers in her own lap, and Wanda smooths out one of Billy's t-shirts with the other. "I was just packing up the boys' things and it occurred to me how fast they grew up, and before I knew it, I was crying."

You hum in understanding, moving your face to kiss her on the cheek as Wanda closes her eyes for a minute, trying to control her own emotions. "I'm sorry." She murmurs, and you shake your head, playing with your fingers.

"Don't apologize." You whisper back. "I would never be angry with you for that. I would never be mad at you for anything."

She lets out a soft laugh, turning her face to you. "Not even for accidentally recording Bewitched over your The Office?"

"The keyword is accidentally." You retort good-naturedly, making her laugh as well. Wanda leans against you, and you drop her hand to slip an arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head. "Baby, is there something you wanted to tell me?"

Your question makes Wanda tense up, but your gentle caresses with your fingers along her arm make her sigh and relax eventually. It takes a few minutes, but she finally says:

"I found out last week." She confesses, and you sigh softly. "Who told you?"

"Monica."

"I'm going to kill her." You laugh, and so does Wanda, pulling away to look at you.  "I'm so sorry-

"Stop apologizing, Wanda." You interrupt her tenderly, rubbing your noses together affectionately for a moment. "We both wanted to and did it together."

"But that was before-"

"I know." You cut in with a soft chuckle, using your other hand to tuck loose strands of Wanda's hair behind her ear, meeting her worried emerald eyes. "We're going to be fine, darling. I know it's a scary time, but we'll manage. We always do."

Wanda sighs, looking at you for a second. "I love you."

She confesses, making you smile affectionately.

"And I love you." You assure, resting your forehead against hers. Wanda breaks the distance to give you a sweet kiss, smiling against your lips. When she pulls away, you exchange passionate glances. "How many weeks?"

Wanda gives a short laugh. "Almost four months, darling."

You gasp in surprise, pulling back. "No way!" You comment, moving your hands to her blouse, and lifting it up making Wanda laugh at your enthusiasm. You place your hands on her belly. "She's been hiding..."

"She?"

"Oh, yes, definitely a girl. I can feel it." You murmur, moving your hands to Wanda's hips, who raises an eyebrow at the sight of you adjusting to lay her down on the bed and be on top. "I wonder when we made her..."

Wanda bit back a chuckle, feeling you fit a leg between hers. "Well, four months ago, I was working from home every day."

"Hmm, so I guess it was right on your desk, sweetheart." You retort to her as you lower your lips to her neck, and Wanda gives a soft little laugh, remembering all too well how many times you almost broke her office desk. Your hands are coming down dangerously, but the sound of the children outside makes you sigh in frustration against her neck. Wanda feels hot and shares your dissatisfaction at having to stop. "We need a vacation for just the two of us, Wanda."

"I agree." She comments with a smile, kissing you more tenderly.

You knew things were going to be okay. You had Wanda. And it would only take a week for you to get a call from Eternals Inc, and another two for you to get back to work. And less than a month later, booking tickets for a cruise on your anniversary.

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[pepperonidk]

hi! If your requests are still open I would like to request Joshua (or any other member) getting you a puppy for valentines and turns out you get him the same thing 😁 thank you!

puppy love

pairing: joshua hong x gn!reader genre: established relationship, fluff warnings: none! (but also i've never owned a dog bc my whole family is allergic so do not come for me about what i think getting a dog is like i do not know) a/n: PLEASE I'M SO SORRY I'M NOT IGNORING THIS 😭 it just took a while for me to do bc of school and job applications this was such a cute idea (i hope you don't mind i tweaked it a little bit) <3333

It was supposed to be the anniversary gift of a lifetime. A symbolic representation of his hopes and dreams for your relationship -- dreams of a family, joy, and laughter filling the halls of your shared home. It was the perfect idea, until...

"I'm so sorry, sir," the assistant at the front apologized with a timid smile, clearly expecting an explosive reaction from her customer. "Someone came in and adopted him just this morning."

Joshua sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That's alright," he assured her. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought he was adorable." He could almost see the weight lift off the worker's shoulders as he chuckled sheepishly at his own comment.

As he walked out the door, his own anxieties began to fill his head. Maybe if I had gotten here just a little bit earlier... No. That wouldn't have worked because I had to go pick up flowers, and we had that early breakfast reservation... I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Joshua had intended on surprising you with a puppy, building up to it with subtle hints throughout the last few weeks. Suggesting dog movies during movie night, asking about your childhood dog, even going so far as to play Bluey on the TV when you got home and then pretending to be clueless as to who put it on. (He had learned in his psychology class from college that subliminal messaging works wonders).

But, clearly life had other plans.

As he walked back home, he passed a gift shop that was just opening up. He had noticed it for a few weeks now, and had even talked to the shop owner who was working outside a few days ago, so he decided to go in and check it out.

"Joshua!" the shopkeeper greeted him warmly as the door chimed behind Joshua. The store was an eclectic collection of various knick-knacks and trinkets, all lined up tightly on the shelves in colorful array.

"Hey," Joshua returned. "Nice place you got here."

The shopkeeper grinned happily in response as he made his way toward where Joshua was standing, fiddling with a music box. "Thanks," he beamed. "Is there anything you're looking for in particular today?"

Joshua let out a sigh. "Yeah, it's me and my partner's anniversary today. I wanted to get them a puppy, but someone adopted him before I could."

The shopkeeper nodded in acknowledgement. "I see," he hummed. "Well, if you're interested, we have a selection of stuffed animals, and quite a few are dogs. It's not the real thing, but maybe you can consider it a placeholder?"

Upon considering this alternative, Joshua perked up quite a bit. "That's actually a great idea," he remarked. "Lead the way?"

The shelves were lined with various colors and textures of stuffed animals, and lo and behold, there was one of a Jack Russel Terrier, the same dog he wanted to bring home earlier today. He eagerly handed it to the shopkeeper for checkout and walked out of the store with a skip in his step.

However, before he could unlock the apartment door, he could hear hushed voices from the other side. One was definitely yours, but the other... was not.

"Shh, you have to keep it down, he'll be here any minute now," your voice nagged.

Before he could let the intrusive thoughts intrude, he opted instead to unlock the door, to find you sitting by the kitchen island, on the floor with your hands suspiciously behind your back.

"Hey...?" Joshua called tenatively with a questioning look.

"Hey yourself!" You called a little bit louder to cover up the sound of something... squeaking?

As he walked closer to you, he could also hear the soft pitter patter of footsteps behind your back, despite your attempts to hide them.

"Is that..." Joshua began, his eyes widening.

"Surprise?" You replied sheepishly as you moved your hands away from your back, finally allowing him to see the excited Jack Russell Terrier who was itching to see his familiar face.

Joshua couldn't hide his excitement as he sat down in front of you, letting the puppy crawl onto his lap. "How did you even know?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, you're not very subtle," you replied smugly. "You've been dropping hints for the last month that you want a puppy. I noticed." Joshua laughed and leaned over to press a kiss against your cheek.

"Did you now?" He teased as you nodded in response. So his plan did work, just not the way he thought it would. "How lucky am I that the love of my life is not only insanely hot, but insanely smart too?" He wiggled his eyebrows at you, causing you to chuckle in response.

"I'd say pretty damn lucky," you replied as the puppy ran back and forth between the two of you, clearly excited to be part of this small family.

"I'd say so too. Happy anniversary."

[sunsolii]

Napoleon (2023) Review

I know many of you have posted your own reviews and what I'm going to talk about will cover most of what people have said but I wanna give my own perspective on the movie. As you know spoilers will be said, so if yall still haven't watch the movie go before reading.

Alright first, I would like to say the movie overall wasn't that bad nor it wasn't great. Some battle scenes were a bit confusing, Borodino was the one which I got the most confused because of how quick the scene was. One moment I was watching soldiers fight and then it was done, which I guess they wanted to get to the part of Napoleon arriving at Moscow but I digress.

During the Seige of Toulon, I was a bit confused with Napoleon's reaction throughout the whole battle. He was hyperventilating and panicking which seemed strange to me since he was always calm and collected during stressful situations, especially this battle since it was his 'debut' and was an important plan in getting Toulon back in French hands. I understand him being a little bit nervous, but he had to stay calm for the soldier's sake.

Now, lets talk about Napoleon and Josephine's relationship, oh boy, it was a mess. I did like how Naps acted a bit awkward during their first meeting since he was pretty shy and weird around the ladies in real life, but after that the whole relationship seemed too toxic than what it really was. Like the scene where Josephine returned to the chateau after Naps came back from Egypt and him yelling at her and basically telling her she was a slut, him threatening divorce because she couldn't get pregnant at the beginning of their marriage, or when Naps got angry at Josephine yet again and threw food at her, or him slapping Josephine during the divorce scene. I literally let out a gasp when that happened. That whole representation of their relationship was a freaking mess, and don't even get me started with the sex scenes! They were so weird and Naps making animals noises before doing it didn't make it better. I think the worst for me was when Naps called Josephine "little one" like don't start with that kinky shit smh. Also the part where Alexander went to visit Josephine at Malmaison was not necessary, they did develop a friendship but it was nothing more than that.

Besides all the negative things I did like a few things about the movie. For starters Napoleon's first interaction with Josephine, that was a nice touch. The lamb chop scene was hilarious and everyone including me laughed at the scene. Naps falling down the stairs after almost getting killed by the Directory and saying "oh fuck" under his breath while standing up was funny. Even the scene afterwards where Naps and Lucien were struggling to get out and keep everyone inside was funny. His facial expression he made while trying to regain himself had me dying.

What caught me by suprise was Junot being in the movie because correct me if I'm wrong but no other movie had Junot included in it, so when Naps first yelled "Junot" during the Seige of Toulon I was like 'huh? Junot? Like Jean Andoche Junot?? THE JUNOT?? I can't believe what I'm hearing!" and sure enough Junot was in the movie! Even though it was only for like 30 minutes but him being in the movie made me so happy because he is never mentioned in any form of media.

Overall it wasn't as bad as I expected. I still wished they would've added other marshals like Murat and Lannes, but I do appreciate them adding Davout since he is also someone who doesn't get mentioned in movies a lot, so props to you Scott (I guess). I did get over the historical inaccuracies pretty quick, but Wellington and Naps meeting did rub me the wrong way knowing that they never met each other in real life. Also, Ney with a moustache...why??

So that's all I wanted to say about the movie. Sorry if this was a longer post, but I wanted to write down everything before I forget. Thank you for reading!

[anamericangirl]

To give that anon a little comfort about women:

Remember, even if there's a billion rotten evil women in the world, there's still 4 billion good girls.

Even if there's 4 billion evil girls, there's still 1 billion good ones.

Even if it's the latter, you're likely only going to meet about 2000 of them in your life and with those odds what, 400 of them will be good? I'm not doing the math I just guessed that's probably 20%. But if you make an effort you can meet a lot more, and if the odds really are 1 in 5, you just gotta keep rolling the dice.

To think you're hopeless to find love is silly, you just need to make the effort to actually look. You can't spend your whole life just assuming the 400-4,000 horrible women you've seen on the internet (of all places!) are a healthy representation of women on earth as a whole.

There are so many good girls, and so many of them want a good man, whether he's cute, hot, ugly, fat, rich, poor, they don't care. There's a lot of picky girls, but there's a much bigger lot of girls who just want to be loved, cherished, and have a man who helps them be comfortable in their life.

If you anons truly are good men, you need to let women know that. Don't hide, don't be shy, go meet girls.

Personal advice though, try not to meet them on the internet unless you're in a specific shared-interest place like your favorite video game. If you're on social media, you're in a sea of every single opinionated woman from every single walk of life no matter how radical or calm! That's like going fishing for a nice clean freshwater fish in the middle of the ocean. You're straying way too far from the river.

And to people who I know are gonna take this out of context and violently misunderstand my analogy: Yes I am absolutely saying women are fish, that is the point I'm making. Think about it. If you take all the letters of "Female" and move them around and add a few and remove a few it makes "Fish." Government thought we wouldn't notice.

Being pro-active is great advice.

And wow mind blown with that whole fish thing. It’s so obvious and yet I never caught it.

[supercantaloupe]

What is the antisemitism in TUC season 1? Does it have to do with Wally the golem?/gen

[ID: an ask from an anonymous tumblr user that reads "would love to hear more about the antisemitism in unsleeping city! was a while ago that i watched it and can't remember what you might be referencing but definitely want to be aware of it.]

no, it's not about willy the golem -- i actually think willy is a great addition to the season (even if i wish we got to see more of him), and an indication to me that brennan/the showrunners were definitely trying to be sincere and inclusive. i want to make it clear that i don't think anything antisemitic in tuc is there intentionally; i think it's there out of simple ignorance, which is also why i think fans don't frequently see/comment on it either. but i don't think that's an excuse, either.

my grief with tuc1 is largely centered around its portrayal of robert moses as the villain. especially by making him a greedy, power-hungry lich working en league with bloodsucking vampires. (also his mini is literally a green skinned skull man in a suit. yikes.) here's the thing; i know robert moses was a real life horrible person, who actually was racist and powerhungry etc etc. and i know that robert moses, the real actual person, was jewish. my grief with tuc1 is not that they chose to use robert moses over literally any other person (real or fictional) to be their season villain (though i'd be really curious to know what tuc1 would have looked like with a different villain), but that they chose to take a real jewish person, turn them into an antisemitic caricature, and then only barely add other portrayals of judaism to balance that out.

like, tuc isn't completely devoid of other jewish representation. as you mention, there's willy the golem -- and again, i really like willy, and i love that it's a portrayal of a golem that's faithful to jewish folklore (ie as a benevolent, guardian construct rather than a mindless destructive monster. i am not a fan of how 'golem' is so frequently misused as a generic enemy creature in other fantasy and ttrpg spaces, including other seasons of d20). but as i said earlier, i wish we see more of him in the season, because he's not around very much, and feels a little more like worldbuilding than a full character to me. also, he's not human. jews are people.

the only other human jewish character in tuc1 is...stephen sondheim. which, again, yeah, that's a real person who really was jewish. but i really wouldn't blame you if you had no idea of that when watching tuc1. maybe from the name you could guess he might be jewish, but i don't think people ought to make a habit of trying to 'clock' someone being jewish by having a 'jewish-sounding' surname. as he's portrayed in tuc1, you'd never know he's jewish, unless you happen to already be pretty knowledgeable about the man in real life. it's far more likely you'll know him as a theater legend than anything else (may his memory be a blessing).

now i'm not saying that brennan or the showrunners should have played up the jewishness of Real Person Stephen Sondheim to counterbalance the depiction of robert moses; that just feels weird to me, especially considering that sondheim was literally alive when tuc1 was filmed and released. it's a tricky thing to portray real people in fiction alongside made up characters, especially when they are contemporaries, and i don't think 'outright caricature' is the way to go about that. nor do i think that moses' jewishness should have been played up at all, because again i don't think that would have been particularly true to the person/character, and also Fucking Yikes. but, c'mon, if you hear the names 'moses' and 'sondheim' next to each other, which one do you associate more with judaism?

and as it stands, these are the only representations of judaism in tuc1. one admittedly nice but very minor nonhuman character; one human character you'd never be able to tell was jewish; and a third human character who, while never explicitly referenced as jewish, plays into some really hurtful antisemitic stereotyping. and it was a choice to not include anything else. maybe not a deliberate one, probably more likely one made out of simple ignorance than anything else, but a choice nonetheless. in a city with one of the largest and most visibly jewish populations in the country, and a culture that is inextricably influenced by that jewish population. a jewish population which has been and continues the target of rising hate crimes for years. i know that nyc means different things to different people, and everyone's nyc is their own -- but my nyc is jewish, and it sucks that that its jewishness is referenced directly in only one very minor way, which is greatly overshadowed by its, in my view, really insidious indirect references.

i don't know exactly how to go about addressing this. obviously, the show can't be changed by now. even if it could, i think the final product would be very significantly different from what it is now if the villain was something/someone else. i think including more references to jews in new york, more (human) jewish characters, hell, even mentioning hanukkah celebrations and menorahs in windows (it takes place in late december, after all; depending on the year it's not at all out of place for hanukkah to coincide with xmas!) would help. having literally any more positive jewish representation in tuc1 would, i think, help balance the bad stuff that's there. because, yeah, robert moses was real and he was terrible and he was jewish. but he's one jewish guy in a city with over a million jews, the vast majority of whom are just normal people. i don't want him to be the only vision of us that people get, in tuc1 alone or in any media. i'm not saying that jews can't or shouldn't be villains in fiction; but especially if you are a goyische creator, you should be really careful in how you're portraying us, and if there are other contrasting depictions in your work, too, in order to not (even accidentally) demonize jewish people as a whole.

[aliferousdreamer]

my thoughts on the next step 9a

clude leaving is so bittersweet... i'm so sad we've lost such a sweet couple and great wlw representation but they left happy and stronger than ever!!!!!!!

the colour symbolism with kenzie's signature colour going from yellow from to blue is a subtle but effective character choice imo. the yellow in s8 felt more youthful joyful and vibrant for when she was new to being dance captain, whereas now kenzie's blue wardrobe in s9 shows that she's maturing and gaining wisdom as dance captain, but is also going through some tough times too. blue is also tns' signature colour so it also shows that she's an important part of the studio!!!

i love heath in this season... his energy, his attitude, his relationships, carter's acting, everything 💯

grace's reasoning for wanting revenge is so silly because she legit made herself an outcast and when kenzie tried to talk with her she just dipped

i'm still upset and bitter and frustrated with daisy leaving........ i just hate seeing great potential dropped like that. melody was such a good addition to the cast!! also where was her goodbye scene with izzy???????? she wasn't just close with heath; she was close to izzy too!!!!!!

my heart broke for pete multiple times and i'm glad that we had a storyline tackling grief and (briefly) men's mental health. i wish it had more of a focus and lasted for longer but it was still effective.

thalia and eldon are still together!!!!!!!! yesssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

JACQUIE MENTION YESSSSSSSSSS I'VE WAITED FOR TIMES LIKE THIS

kenzie basically being both the dance captain and studio head by herself because what does nick even do retroactively makes riley look even worse at being studio head.......... yeah season 4's treatment of riley is still annoying me in the year 2024

idk if it's just me but does anyone else feel like it's not internationals???? the vibe feels much more like regionals or nationals. the scale doesn't quite feel grand enough

i wasn't sure that heath was "the heart of the team" but after watching all of 9a, not only is he the heart of the team he's also the team therapist and cheerleader... i love to see it

i love that anthony is still a ball of stress/anxiety and is also in a really important leader position as group choreographer. so often you see anxious people just depicted as introverts and not as leaders, so it's nice to see someone who's anxious but also a very capable leader

olive is the definition of a precious cinnamon roll. she's sounds like a disney princess every time she talks. she reminds me of amy in s4 too!! she really is just the 🥺 emoji

random point but i love that adele's signature colour being emerald green. it reminds me of ariel's tail in the little mermaid and now i'm thinking of an au where adele is ariel and anthony is prince eric

i know i'm probably in the minority here but i am totally on board with anthony x adele (should their ship name be anthele/adelthony/adelony??). anthony really had one conversation with her alone and just fell for her instantly. some fans probably think it's dumb and realistic but i think it's really sweet and they have potential for 9b

i do also lowkey ship adele x olive because they're so cute together (and they remind me of pamy a little.) when adele didn't want to work with ariana but was unable to resist olive's puppy dog eyes...... they're so cute!!!

kenzie and pete are really just the sweetest couple ever and they have such a natural, easy chemistry... they're definitely one of the best couples tns has had in years 😘👌

IS HEATH'S DAD DEAD???????????????

ethan showing character development by being much more of a team player, we love to see it!!! he's still competitive but he's ready to share his ambitions with others

kenzie holding hands with heath was such a sweet, underrated moment... i love seeing strong, supportive and affectionate platonic male/female relationships

ebby naming her pet snail snaiyoncé is iconic

izzy calling heath "heathcliff" and heath calling izzy "isadora"....... the best friendism of it all

eldon mentioning west's iconic bangers and mash solo!!!!!! yes, thank you!!!!!! west is one of the most iconic dancers this show has ever had!!!!!!!!!

kenzie is allergic to flowers, noted!

heath is penzie's no. 1 shipper

ariana putting jett front row centre in her trio........ i know what you are................

ethan's loyalty to izzy is so sweet

WHO IS GETTING CUT??????????????

grace is definitely turning on ariana in 9b... i have a feeling she's going to out her as a traitor and a troupe might kick her off the team for a few episodes

remi is totally going to break ebby's heart, isn't he???

i have a feeling that presley might return to talk to her sister and say something like "chill ariana i'm fine living life and there was no need for getting revenge"

is ethan getting a boyfriend in 9b??????

can't wait for chekhov's bo staff to make its grand return in 9b

also how many enemies to lovers / rivals to lovers style relationships is heath going to have???? ozzy, daisy, pascale....... heath is immune to not having some sort of conflict in his relationships

this is a long shot but i'm really hoping to see more previous cast members returning. yeah i know it's not necessary, but i still want to know what our old faves all doing with their lives

given season 9's marketing has been pretty terrible it really does make me doubt that there will be a season 10. i would like a last series to tie the whole show together and maybe have a few reunions so the show has a great send-off, but feels unlikely now that they really dropped the ball when promoting this series

bring on 9b!!!!!!!!!

this is really jumbled and i've probably missed out so many things but i'm very unorganised so there you go

[nerdylittleguy]

Transformers Earthspark theory - how Knockout could actually be Mr Smelt

....or ideas about it, anyway. Enjoy my observations!

So uhh here's where the neurodivergent urge to consume media and hyperfixate on it has lead me! Please, feast your eyes on my flow chart/ mind map of madness™.

I know the text is really small, if you click and zoom it could be easier to read. I did try to split the original image into quarters, hope that makes it a little easier to read. However, if anyone needs a transcript I'll do my best to sort it out, my only concern is that I have no clue how to link ideas if they're just bullet points (the idea of having a way to link ideas is what lead me to make this in this format :) )

Perhaps a bit of an explanation as to what lead to this?

A few weeks ago, I saw the Earthspark season 1 part 2 trailer and hey... Who's that?? Breakdown?? Of course, I immediately wanted to watch what existed of the series so far, and imagine my pleasant surprise when I heard Knock Out's (tfp) VA voiced a side character!

Anyway, I started watching the series, finished it in 3 days, cried tears of happiness over Nightshade's pronouns (for those of you who say representation doesn't matter, it does. You probably just feel represented), fell in love with Megatron, etc etc. But imagine my absolute, brain-rotting madness when I couldn't find episode 7 on youtube!

Meh, like that would stop my theory brain. Using various episode summaries I found on youtube (first and foremost this one, as it was short and had good attention to detail! But if anyone has any recommendations for other good summaries feel free to let me know), I started to slowly make a mindmap. That evening I found @transformers-earthspark's blog and the where-to-watch resources... Firefly I cannot thank you enough!!! You're literally amazing!! You have no idea how happy I was to find ep 7!! You do so much, give yourself a pat on the back and a nice snack :))

Anyways, armed with my new access to ALL the earthspark episodes (1 - 10, anyway, as only they are available atm), I remade some of my mindmap, added to it, made more points. Over the last few weeks (aka less than two) I polished my mindmap, did some colour-coding, added images, links, details etc until it could apparently fit on an A3 sheet?? What??? So many ideas from silly old me??

Obviously, I don't think I'm completely right. As a matter of fact, I think I made many assumptions and links that were a very big stretch (blame this overactive imagination of mine. I keep thinking of potential plot lines and then forgetting that actually, I made them up and they're not canon). However, I hope I made a few points that will inspire someone to make their own theories, or just have fun thinking!

Apologies if this all sounds garbled or if it's difficult to understand, I am tired and I have two languages running around in my head (that I'm fluent in, I've also tried to learn 5 others. Lingual hell!!!)

Have a good day/ night and enjoy the theories!

Also a quick note and thing to add: I wrote this on Monday the 27th (I draft just about everything in my notes ok), before I woke up on Tuesday and saw the new images from the episodes, including the one with Breakdown!! AHHH!! /pos So I guess I was right about something? And I mean... Breakdown and a theme of racing in one episode? If this is a coincidence and Knockout is not chilling somewhere in the background then I don't know what to say.

[sineala]

What are your thoughts on the run that completely rewrote Tony’s origin so that he wasn’t Howard and Maria’s biological son? Is that still the current origin story they’re going with?

Thanks for asking! This is still Tony's current origin story and I hate it. I think it was poorly thought-out and that every subsequent thing Marvel has done to attempt to address it has somehow made it worse. I think they've managed to tell an incredibly upsetting and unpleasant story, portraying adoption in an extremely negative light, that has pretty much only made life worse for Tony and not even in a way that's narratively interesting.

I have some salt about this, yes.

I'm not against adoption retcons in general, and I'm not against retconning character backgrounds. I get the impression it was unpopular but I really liked the retcon of Carol's background a couple years ago in the Life of Captain Marvel miniseries by Margaret Stohl -- instead of her being a human given powers by the Psyche-Magnitron, she was revealed to have been secretly half-Kree, and the device merely catalyzed her latent powers. Her mother was secretly Kree and Carol never knew. The miniseries actually had a really nice scene of her and Tony talking about families, because understandably Carol (also now Car-Ell because, yes, she has a Kree name) now had a lot of complicated feelings. Kelly Thompson's Captain Marvel run continued to explore the implications of this, as Carol found out that she actually had Kree relatives. So Carol's got a new half-sister, Lauri-Ell, and they were immediately thrown into a situation where Carol had to defend her and believe in her and it was great and also now they're friends. Well, family. Friendly family. I think Lauri-Ell was probably the best thing about Thompson's Captain Marvel run and I'm honestly really glad Marvel went there.

Tony didn't get anything like that.

As far as I know, the way Kieron Gillen approached his Iron Man run was by not doing the reading and then completely winging it. And while winging it isn't inherently bad, it did mean that not only did he not know where he was going, he didn't know what had come before. That, combined with the fact that a lot of comics writers want to "make their mark" on a famous character meant that he was probably wanting to go for something big. Hence, adoption. Which, again, isn't inherently a bad idea; it can definitely give characters a lot to explore. It's a little odd as a choice for Tony who as far as we know is Howard and Maria's biological son in every other universe in the multiverse; there's no motivation given for why 616 should be different, and off the top of my head I can't name any other characters who only differ cross-universe in adoption status, although now that I think about it I bet there are probably some universes where other people raised Peter Parker.

Also "Arno" is a really odd name choice for Tony's brother. I get that Gillen was pulling the name of a future relative from the original Iron Man 2020 issues, which if you're gonna read one thing is a deeply weird thing to pick. I remember people asking him why he didn't name Tony's brother Greg. Ultimates is a universe where Tony in fact has a brother named Greg. That would have at least made some sort of multiversal sense. Apparently Gillen just… hadn't known Greg existed. Great.

Okay. So you're gonna tell a story about adoption. You're going to reveal that a beloved character has been secretly adopted all along and no one knew. What are you going to get out of it? What are you going to accomplish? Here are some possible choices. You could tell a story that's inspirational and representational to fans who are themselves adopted or have adopted children, because now their hero is just like them. You could tell a story about how Howard and Maria adopting Tony meant he was very much loved and wanted, because they consciously chose him and made him a part of their family. You could tell a story about how Tony, who has been an orphan for a very long time, has suddenly discovered that he has living family -- a brother, as well as his biological parents. You'd be giving him more people in his story, more people who could care about him, and I think you could tell a lot of interesting stories about Tony's new family dynamics. He could have had family who loved him, or at least hung around to interact with him -- Tony's only other relative we've ever seen, his cousin Morgan, hasn't been in an Iron Man comic in years, and also usually tries to kill him. But they could have taken this opportunity to make some changes. Imagine! Tony with a bigger family! Who cares about him.

That's not what Marvel did.

The reason Howard and Maria adopted Tony was that they needed a decoy son who was not their biological son (Arno) so that the alien who had genetically modified Arno wouldn't realize that Howard had undone his work. So that's why they adopted Tony. It wasn't because they wanted him specifically, loved him, wanted to give him a family, any of that -- they just needed a decoy. And in that light, the fact that Howard didn't love Tony looks even worse. Now it's not just "I never loved you," it's "I never loved you and I only ever wanted you to fulfill this weird plan I had going with an alien." Now you're telling the story "of course I never loved you, Tony; you're adopted." (And then he tries to sell Tony to Dracula.)

And that's… not a great look. Sure, not all stories have to be positive, but superheroes usually have some kind of relatable backstory, and it's easy for people to want to relate to them, and I feel like maybe you want to think a little harder before writing Tony as adopted when his childhood was already terrible and his family hated him. It could have been a really nice story about families of choice and how much Tony's adoptive family loved and wanted Tony. And it wasn't. Because Howard had been established for years as having been abusive. A story about a toxic adoptive family is not really great representation. "I never loved you" was pretty bad but "you're adopted and I never loved you," I think, sounds a lot worse.

You do also lose some plot elements by retconning Tony as adopted, namely anything having to do with him having a genetic relationship to Howard and Maria. And for the most part this isn't going to be relevant, but now you can't really easily tell a story about Tony inheriting alcoholism or general addiction or depression or whatever from his father. (I mean, you still can if you really want to; you'd just have to establish this as being true of his biological parents. But Marvel has not done that and does not really seem all that likely to start, because that would require putting them in comics and they're not doing that anymore.)

After Kieron Gillen left the book, Bendis came on. And I know Bendis' kids are adopted so I can understand why he'd want to tackle the adoption plot and really flesh out Tony's family. So a large portion of Bendis' IM run was about Tony's quest for, and eventual discovery of, his biological family. At the time, I figured this might actually be a good plot -- if they're not going to retcon out the adoption, they might as well lean in. I was looking forward to having Tony meet his family. The guy could definitely use more family, and I thought it would be great to see him interacting with them and developing new relationships.

That also didn't happen.

So what about all his new family members? His adoptive brother Arno? His biological mother and father?

Well, actually, they hate him too. All of them!

Arno went evil, is currently evil, tried to take down Tony, and is now trapped in VR or something. (To be fair, this wasn't Bendis' fault; Dan Slott did this in the subsequent run.)

Jude, Tony's biological father, is a Hydra agent who tried to kill Tony's mother. He met Tony once. He also tried to kill him. (This one was Bendis' fault.)

Amanda, Tony's biological mother, is a rock star and SHIELD agent who decided that now that Tony was living in a constructed, non-original body… he was no longer her son. And she wanted nothing else to do with him. She hasn't been back; yes, this was also Dan Slott's work. This is both cruel and bizarre because this is definitely not Tony's first brand-new body. If he's going to be dead to her because this isn't his original body, then he's been dead since at least Onslaught. If this was going to be a problem for her, it should already have been a problem as soon as she met him.

(That was one of the big issues for me with Slott's entire run in that a lot of it was about Tony having a crisis that he maybe wasn't really Tony because he had a new body. I was just like, dude, where have you been? Why is this only a problem now?)

So now Tony, who was already abused by his adoptive father, has discovered three new members of his family, all of whom also hate him!

Anyway, basically the only family Tony had who loved him was Maria. At least he had her, I guess.

So what's the point, really? He has more people to hate him. If you're going to give him new family, couldn't you give him one person who at least likes him? Carol has a retconned half-sister now, who loves her. Why couldn't Tony have something like that?

It's not even interesting pain, for Tony. This isn't anything different than what he already had. It just involves more characters now. They had the chance to use the adoption arc to really transform Tony's life and give him a whole new family to interact with and tell a story about choice and family and being loved and wanted. Instead, he has three new family members who hate him and who probably won't be appearing again anytime soon anyway. What did this even accomplish? What do we get? A story about how, once again, none of Tony's family loves him, that even more of them exist and they hate him too, that his adoptive family abused him, that's probably going to make adopted kids reading these comics feel pretty bad. I don't think this is really an accomplishment.

In conclusion… uh… this is me complaining about the adoption retcon to @blossomsinthemist while I was trying to figure out how to write this post:

Sineala: they never loved him but now they REALLY never loved him and also here's his biological family who never loved him either Sineala: i mean, i'm not opposed to giving tony more family but maybe they could… not hate him Sineala: i feel like tony should marry into a large and affectionate family Sineala: …actually, this is basically the avengers Sineala: never mind, he already did Sineala: if you don't have your own loving family, store-bought is fine

So, yeah. That's where I stand.

[tozettastone]

RE: "there's so little F/F fanfiction," and its supposed relationship to misogyny, unexamined "fandom truly hates women," statements, and also why "eating your veggies" ala dutyfic is all kind of... inadequate and poorly expressed, in my view (and in my experience, as an AFAB person).

--

"Fandom hates women," is a statement that's usually written as though the person writing it does not hate women themselves. I think feminists who can't acknowledge their own misogyny are probably living the unexamined life (sorry, Socrates).

These people are right that misogyny is a problem. But they are wrong about how, why, and whether or not the amount of F/F fanfiction or female character-centric works is a proxy for measuring it.

I think there must be room to accept that among the people who happen to be assigned female at birth, even the most liberated suffer from some amount of internalised misogyny — or even just the relentless examination of their own thoughts in trying to root out the misogyny they know is in there. It's an ugly thing people really try to pretend isn't real. Feminists are also misogynists. Society has raised us all ugly and correcting it is a lifestyle, not a one-and-done deep clean.

Sometimes we've thought about it so much that every line of text is haunted by the long shadow of that misogyny. I know I often start and don't finish, or finish and just don't post, my f/f fanfics. It's not just because it attracts more harassment (although it sure used to, at least; I don't know now), but also because I overthink what I'm putting into the world: Is her vulnerability in this moment an attitude of feminine weakness? Is her stoicism just me the writer falling into a bland stoic butch trope because it's easy? Am I replicating gendered things I hate in M/F fanfiction but don't notice in F/F? Is this just writing in character, or is it a sexist stereotype? Hey, what if writing "in character" IS a sexist stereotype? What does this female character, a representative of her entire constructed identity, say about women? Shall I write another scene where she cuts her soft hair and rejects pink girly things and takes her job ever so seriously as part of a power fantasy, in which the excision of femininity goes hand in hand with the attainment of that power?

Every line of text might be a new enfilade in the long identity war. It's Schrodinger's sexism. Who's reading? What will this imply? What will they infer?

I just feel like, personally, until you can exist in society as someone that other people view as a woman, in a way that isn't being perpetually dissected and examined (by yourself, by others, by the people who feel insecure and defensive and want to respond to this saying "uhmmm sweetie that's YOUR problem, I'm an enlightened woman who genders and fucks how I want actually, YOU'RE the only misogynist here, you just suck," as though that's not yet another permutation of exactly the high-pressure, high-critique behaviour I just described), there will simply be fewer people putting their writing about female characters (and by extension F/F) into the public eye, and fewer people who want to do that writing at all.

It's just so fucking exhausting. I think it must be nice, sometimes, writing deathly boring (to me) M/F romance that openly embraces gender stereotypes, where she's always taken by surprise, and he's always competent. Ha.

But then you attempt a M/M romance, and you have to think, "isn't writing masculinity as the totally unexamined default actually kind of an act of collusion, too?" It doesn't have to be. But it sure can be, when you feel like this. And then you throw your laptop out the window. (I'm writing this on my phone. How did you guess?)

You have to draw a line somewhere, horribly, between your existence in a politicised body, your representation of politicised bodies in your art, and your existence as an individual who wants to enjoy their fucking hobby.

Maybe that means you delete all your social media accounts and go herd goats on a mountainside. Or you write about aliens for five years and give them whatever genitals you feel like today. But, like, listen. It's going to be fine. Gender is made up. I know, I know, pretty much everyone else thinks it's a holy binary, just like good and evil, and you have to live in the same world with them, sending coded gender messages all day every day and unable to stop. I know. But it is made up anyway.

Key takeaways: People should write whatever they enjoy writing and kind of just worry less about it. Worrying isn't helping you make fun art. And the amount of fanfiction about female characters and F/F relationships is a poor proxy for whatever we think we mean when we say, "fandom hates women."

[spopsalt]

Going into detail about EVERYTHING I hate about spop

This was the winner of the poll! Keep in mind these are in no particular order! I hope you enjoy it! This VERY long post so be warned!

The representation it's so bad, a lot of it is just stereotypes. Bow being the black best friend, Mermista being the sassy black woman, Catra being the angry Hispanic woman, and the only autistic character being put ON A LEASH!? The only non-binary character being a fucking LIZARD!?

Catradora. It is awful. It is so bad. It's so romantized despite being in a KID'S SHOW! That's what I hate most about it. Little kids will see this and believe this is how they should treat the person they love, or this is how someone who loves them treats them. It's just bad. Really bad.

How they ignore everyone's trauma. Some characters have some really interesting trauma that could be explored, but they just get ignored for abusive catgirl! Seriously, some of the trauma could be legitimentally interest, like Micah, how did he feel about not being able to say goodbye to his wife? About being in beast island for years? Haha no you idiots, he has no trauma! He's just a goofy dad haha! How about Glimmer who also didn't get to say goodbye to her mom, who sacrificed herself so everyone else can live? Who was crushing under the pressure of being queen! Who had everyone around her ignore her mom's death? Who got manipulated by Shadow Weaver when she was vulnerable? Haha! No, she has no trauma! Angella, always feels a lingering guilt about her husband, who believes her husband is dead. Haha! Nope! No trauma! (I used three examples but there is so much more)

Seahawk. That's it.

The way they treat war, they've treated it as a joke, a game, and a backdrop, they don't show how it affects people, we couldn't of gotten to see citizens stories of how their lives were affected? Nope!

The amount of filler. White Out and Mermesteries, have no point other than being annoying filler, they don't have any meaning to the plot, and to make it worse they just drag on and on.

The wasted potential. This is so annoying. It has so much potential, if it was given to competent writers, it could've been so good, maybe even a masterpiece, but it's just so...bad.

The "jokes" I'm being nice by calling them jokes. They are more like awkward moments that beg you to laugh. Haha Kyle, a poor innocent kid gets bullied for the 35455467568th time please laugh! Haha! Bow's voice cracks for the 967986786897th time! Laugh again!

Seamista, Mermista looks like a teenager, and Seahawk looks like he's an adult. Mermista clearly doesn't like Seahawk, Seahawk just kept invading her boundaries and eventually, they got together. Seriously what the fuck?

Worldbuilding, it is so bad at it. We never see any citizens or get a feel for how the world looks, the only difference is cosmetic

Catra's redemption arc. Just in general. it was so rushed.

The needless ships in season 5, they are so rushed and have no purpose to the plot.

The princesses are so boring and one note, for them being the title, they don't do much.

The character arcs, or lack thereof, the ones we do get are boring and one note.

The pacing is just so bad, it's either too slow or too fast.

Season 5. It's self explanatory.

That's about all I could think of at the moment! Let me know what you think!