#its currently 2:35 am

[azuries]

just let me loooooooove youuuuuuuuuu

if we dont get this energy in byler kisses then i dont want it

[autoboros]

Trying to get my time as low as I can on the octo samurai since its proven to be strangely fun

I wanna get to at least 45. And then continue lower if I can for funny

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 2 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: The collection of letters that Bradley received from the fourth grade class provides him with entertainment while deployed. He takes the time to answer their questions and send a package back to the United States via air mail. But he has your email address. He also has a bit of a crush and some questions himself.

Warnings: Fluff, language

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

A few days later, when Bradley was done with his training protocols for the day, he returned to his bunk with a different mission in mind. While he unzipped his flight suit, he eyed the box which was taking up most of his nightstand, and a smile found its way to his lips. He managed to find a notebook that nobody wanted along with a thick, padded envelope, and he was going to take the time to respond to the fourth graders who wrote to him. 

He'd spent hours poring over the letters, laughing at some of the questions from the kids and frequently picking up that one photo. He couldn't stop going back for more. For another look at you. Just one more look. Okay, this really was the last one. He had to toss it across the small room toward his duffel so he could focus on something other than your smile and the fact that he might have a tiny crush on a fourth grade teacher who knew absolutely nothing about him. Yet.

The note from Jayden was on the top, and Bradley opened it up and started to jot down a response.

Jayden,

It was so nice to hear from you and the rest of your class. To answer your pertinent questions, I am currently stationed on the USS Theodore Roosevelt. The most disgusting food in the mess hall is easily the cabbage rolls (which taste nothing like cabbage... or rolls). The best food in the mess hall is surprisingly the meatloaf. And yes, I would love to see a photo of your Cocker Spaniel. Please send one next time. I hope you're studying and doing your best in school.

Lt Bradley Bradshaw

The next note he decided to tackle was the one from Violet who had the tiniest handwriting he'd ever seen. The page had at least fifteen questions written out, but he decided to answer just a few for her. He had to squint as he skimmed through them again.

Violet,

You seem very inquisitive. That's a great quality to have, especially if you want to be a pilot someday. No, I did not attend the Naval Academy. I went to the University of Virginia. Yes, the Navy is way better than the Air Force. Yes, I can hold my breath underwater for three minutes. Yes, they actually made me do it. No, I don't think I could make it as a Navy SEAL. Yes, I have been staying hydrated and getting enough sun, thanks so much for asking. Keep studying hard, because you have a lot of school ahead of you before officer training.

Lt Bradley Bradshaw

Okay, so this was actually a lot of fun. Up next was a response to the note from Oliver, which made Bradley laugh every time he looked at it. 

Oliver,

Thank you so much for drawing the different Naval aircrafts for me. I hate to break it to you, but I actually do not fly the F-35 Lightning II. Yes, I know they look 'sickeningly cool'. Yes, I know it would be like 'slam dunking off the back of a dragon'. I guess I never knew I was jealous of those pilots until right now.... But I fly the equally cool if not quite as sickening looking F/A-18 Super Hornet. And yes, I would be more than happy to draw my own version of one for you. See below.

Lt. Bradley Bradshaw

The ten minutes he spent replicating his own aircraft to the best of his ability for Oliver churned out a pretty damn good result. He fished his phone out of the nightstand and took a picture to email to Nat when he had time, because she would find this whole thing amusing. Then he reached for the letters from Harrison, Nia and Jackie. He wrote his responses, and after a bit, he had a decent sized stack of letters all ready to go back to the fourth graders.

After a few more days, he worked his way through the entire class, and each kid would soon have a handwritten response on the way. He just needed to figure out what he wanted to say to you. The pretty teacher from the class photo that he now kept tucked in with his personal items. He worked on that one last, writing your full name at the top of the page and wishing you didn't go by the very non-specific Ms. which gave him zero clue as to whether or not you were married.

The package you sent was the nicest piece of deployment mail I have ever received. Thank you. I'm lucky it ended up in my hands. I'm impressed by how much all of your students have learned about aviation this year. I just hope I did them justice in regards to the questions they had for me.

I also hope you don't mind that I replied to each kid individually. They had some very amusing stories and questions, and I wanted to acknowledge all of them. But there was one question in particular that I was asked so many times, I thought I'd answer it here instead. My call sign is kind of a silly one, so it's okay if you all laugh. I go by Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, and my helmet is mostly red, yellow and black.

Your kids seem like a fun bunch, but I bet they keep you on your toes. Feel free to let them know they can write back to me again, but please include my name on the package this time. I don't know that I'd be lucky enough to have it fall into my hands again by chance. I'll just be here somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean for a few more months, ready to answer any questions you throw at me. Hope to hear back from you soon.

Yours Truly,

Lt Bradley Bradshaw

The following day, he packed everything up and dropped it off with the rest of the ship's outgoing mail. There was a rumor that a helicopter would be coming to pick it up in the next day or two, and he wanted to make sure it got back to California and those fourth graders as soon as possible. On his way back to his bunk, Bradley stopped by the lounge to see if there was an iPad free, hoping to send a quick email or two. He was in luck. He also happened to have your email address memorized.

--------------------------

You yawned at your desk and checked the time on your computer. Within the next ten minutes, your classroom would go from silent solitude to mass chaos, so you took a minute to clear out your email inbox. You had a few messages from some parents and a reminder about Spirit Week from the superintendent. And a random piece of junk mail that must have slipped through the spam filters. You didn't know anyone with a US Navy email address, and you didn't know anyone named Bradley Bradshaw.

As you closed your laptop, you gasped and tried to pry it back open again as quickly as you could. The Navy! The package you sent a few weeks ago! Maybe it was someone writing back to your class! Of course it could just be someone saying they were sorry that they didn't have time to engage with your students, but you figured even that was better than nothing. 

"Come on," you whispered, entering your credentials again before your inbox reappeared on your screen. The email was just a few lines long, but it was addressed to you by name. You were smiling immediately as you read it.

I just wanted to let you know that I got the mail you sent to a deployed Naval Aviator. There's a package on its way to your school for your class. It should arrive in about a week or two. Your fourth graders provided me with several hours of entertainment, and I hope they find my answers to their many (and amusing) questions useful. Thanks for the laughs, and thanks for the photos, too. Can't tell you how much I've been enjoying them. Hope to hear from all of you again.

Yours Truly,

Lt Bradley Bradshaw

You squealed and pumped your fists in the air. Someone actually got the box! And he actually responded! The other, older teachers thought you were just wasting your time when you deviated from the lesson plans a bit. Literally all of them said there was no way anyone would write back, even though you took the time to go through the proper channels at Top Gun on North Island. But now you could rub it in their faces, all thanks to Bradley Bradshaw who sounded like he'd had as much fun with this whole thing as your class had.

Then your day really started as Violet and Oliver burst into your classroom, calling out your name with excitement in their voices. The rest of your kids followed behind them, already asking about the plans for the day and what kind of adventure you'd be taking them on in each subject. 

When you clapped your hands twice and said, "Good morning," they all clapped and replied with their own greeting, and then they sat quietly with their gazes fixed on you. "Guess who I just got an email from!"

"The president!" 

"My grandma!"

"My Cocker Spaniel!"

"Oliver's grandma!"

You just shook your head and tried not to laugh as you said, "None of the above. But do you remember when we wrote and packed up those letters for a real aviator in the military to read?" Most of the kids nodded, so you added, "Well, he emailed us! And he sent us some mail that should arrive in about a week!"

And telling them that was a mistake. Because you didn't know a moment of peace after that. Every morning, you had kids rushing into the room to see if the promised piece of mail arrived yet. Every day you had to disappoint them, but you were finding yourself a little disappointed, too. You wanted to know what this Bradley Bradshaw guy sent back. 

You'd responded to his initial email letting him know you and the kids in your class were delighted to hear from him and that you would let him know when the mail he sent arrived at your school. He didn't respond, but you figured he was busy. Too busy to constantly muck about with your class while he was thousands of miles away on a deployment. 

And that was what left you standing at your desk with your mouth hanging open in awe when the padded envelope did finally arrive one morning. Because when you carefully cut it open, you found not just one letter to the class but individual handwritten notes, one for each child.

"Wow," you whispered, pulling the note with your name written on the top out of the stack. This man seemed humble and sweet, and his letter made you laugh in more than one spot as you read through it. Then you read it again. He sounded apologetic about responding to each individual kid, but you felt like your insides were melting. Who would do that? Who would take the time to give individual attention to a bunch of nine and ten year olds besides you? And you were technically getting paid to do it. 

Bradley Bradshaw seemed willing to continue to engage with your kids, and you weren't going to stop him. Because starting that morning, he became something of a legend to your class. A celebrity. A real lieutenant in the Navy replied to all of their silly questions, and their love of aviation just grew from there. You figured you were going to have to keep your lesson plans going a bit longer while their faces lit up as you walked around the room and handed them each their notes. You had taken the time to skim them beforehand, often laughing at his sense of humor which seemed to jump off the pages.

"Can we write back to him?" Jayden asked as everyone read their notes from Lieutenant Bradshaw. "I have more questions."

You smiled and nodded. "Yes, you may write back to him." Then you postponed your geology lesson until the next day and let them spend the next forty minutes writing some followup letters. You took some pictures of them diligently toiling away at their desks, excitement on their faces. Then you bit your lip and sat down at your own desk.

As you started to construct an email letting him know the envelope had arrived, your thoughts drifted to what he might be like. Humble and sweet, for sure. But he also made it a point to tell you that the box from your class was the best piece of mail he'd ever received while deployed. Maybe he was a little bit lonely. Maybe he was single. Maybe he was stationed on the west coast. Your thoughts started to get ahead of you, and it was hard to reel them in when you imagined him excited to see another email from you. Smiling when he was handed another box from your class during mail call.

Dear Lt Bradley Bradshaw,

We got the envelope from you today, and my kids are absolutely thrilled! I'm not sure if you know how hard it can be to wrangle eighteen fourth graders all at one time, but they are currently sitting quietly and working on new letters for you to read. Once again, please don't feel obligated to continue correspondence if you're too busy. I'm sure you have other people you could be writing to who want your attention as well. I just wanted you to know they are overjoyed that a Naval officer took the time to answer their questions about aviation.

I have attached some photos as proof that they are sitting still. Thanks again for making their day.

You signed your name at the bottom the way you always would from your work email account, and then you attached the photos. After a brief debate about adding the selfie you took with Violet where most of your face was visible, you decided to just go for it. Adding it to the mix wouldn't hurt anything. It wasn't like this semi mystery man would be up all night thinking about you. 

But you found that you were still thinking about him when you went home to your silent house and made dinner that evening. Maybe he was a little bit lonely, but maybe you were, too.

-------------------------

It was amazing how infrequently Bradley found himself thinking about Vanessa. He was busier now with his duties picking up a bit more as his deployment wore on, but even when he was tired and in his bunk at night, his thoughts seldom settled on her like he was afraid they might. He didn't miss her or her half-hearted emails, and he wasn't craving the connection of reunion sex with her. 

Instead, he was thinking about what a group of fourth graders were learning about this week and what their cute teacher was up to. It had been a few days since you emailed him, letting him know that his package was delivered to your school. You made it sound like the kids were excited that he sent it in the first place, and when he really thought about it, he supposed some officers would have just eaten the snacks and tossed the notes in the trash.

He didn't reply to the email yet, still thrown off a bit by the pictures you attached. Your classroom was vibrant, and the kids were absorbed as they worked on more notes for him to read whenever they happened to be delivered to the carrier. But the photo with you in it held his attention longer than it should have. The fact that you were working at a school that was just a handful of miles from his damn house made him feel warm.

But what would he do about it? What could he do about it? Nothing. He didn't want you to think he was creepy. He still knew essentially nothing else about you. The only thing he could do was keep it friendly if not professional. Unless of course you did something to push the boundaries of conversation into a more personal realm. God, if you did....he didn't think he would be able to handle it. 

The next day, when he was heading out on deck to talk to the mechanics who were doing regular maintenance on the aircrafts, he took his phone. "Hey, you mind if I take a few photos of some of the engine parts? I want to send them to a class of fourth graders who will think it's cool."

"Go ahead, Lieutenant," the head mechanic replied. Then he smiled and asked, "You dating a teacher?"

Well. Wouldn't that be something? Bradley would never run out of curious pen pals. He would always have some fourth graders to take interesting photos for and to send notes to. He'd always have a classroom to visit as soon as he got home from a deployment.

He couldn't help but picture you as the teacher.

"Nothing like that," he replied, his voice a little gravelly. "Just writing to some kids who are learning about aviation."

After dinner, when he had a chance to use an iPad in the lounge, he did his best to put together a response to your email that would at least hint at the curiosity he felt. 

If all it takes is mail from three thousand miles away to get your class to sit quietly, then I should probably be writing to you every day. But I'm sure you're a great teacher. That's a given considering how much your students learned and shared with me. And I can assure you that I'm more than happy to take the time to write to your class. And you. Please don't think I feel obligated, because I do not. I want to.

I have attached a few pictures of some F/A-18 engine components as well as some of my cockpit controls. Each photo is labeled, but please let me know if you have any questions.

It was nice hearing from you.

Yours Truly,

Lt Bradley Bradshaw 

As soon as he hit send, he wanted to kick himself. Should he have included a photo of his face like you had twice now? Or did he already sound too desperate to hear from you and your class again?

"Shit," he muttered, looking around the lounge as if there was going to be someone here proficient in the art of getting to know a fourth grade teacher without sounding stupid. But it was too late now. All he could do was wait for the next mail call or hope you decided to write back to his ramblings by the next time he checked his email. 

-----------------------------

You were going to have to scrape your jaw off the floor. You had no idea what this man's face even looked like, but his hands were... something else. And his thighs... well, they were pretty great, too. It must have been too long since you got laid, because you were sitting at your desk in your classroom staring at the set of photos in your inbox, currently unable to look away from his right hand. It was wrapped around the throttle of his aircraft. It was elegant with attractive veins and rough calluses. You were sure that you were supposed to be focusing on the cockpit controls, but all you could see was that hand and his thick, muscular thighs below.

The next photo was no better for you. He was holding up his helmet with his call sign Rooster emblazoned across the front, and you were able to see his left ring finger. There was no wedding band. There was no evidence of an outline where a wedding band would belong. There was just his big, strong hand.

You whimpered softly while your students worked on their math tests. You couldn't help it as you took one last look before logging out of your email account. And now you needed to know if his face matched the very attractive image you had in your mind. 

When Jayden called your name, you rocketed to your feet like you'd been caught red handed. "Yes?" you squeaked, your voice sounding higher pitched than usual.

"I'm done with my test. May I have the hall pass and use the restroom?"

You handed it to him as the rest of your class finished working through the math problems. A few minutes later, when you collected the papers from them, Violet asked, "When is Lieutenant Bradshaw going to write back to us?"

It had only been a few days since you mailed him the second box of notes and some more snacks, but it made you happy that they were all so invested in learning more from him. 

"It will probably be a few weeks before we get anything in the mail. However... he did email me some pictures of engine and cockpit parts from the aircraft carrier for me to share with you guys." When you looked around the room, the kids were on the edges of their seats, excited expressions on their faces. With a laugh you added, "I was going to wait until tomorrow and use the projector to show them all to you, but if you're very well behaved for the rest of the afternoon, maybe I could pull them up on my computer for you to see them today."

Not two hours later, you were just as excited as the kids were to look at the photos... again. As they crowded around your desk, you opened up the first one of the cockpit to a barrage of questions. 

"Is that really his jet?"

"Is that the throttle?"

"What do all the buttons do?"

"Was this right before he flew it?"

Once again you were distracted, but you managed to click over to the next photo, and the kids gasped in delight. 

"His helmet is so cool!"

"It says Rooster!"

"That's his call sign!"

"Red is my favorite color!"

You just smiled softly and laughed. "Should we go ahead and start working on another list of questions for him?" you asked as you slowly scrolled through the rest of the pictures. "He said we can write back to him as much as we want to." When everyone cheered, you handed Oliver a marker and pointed to the board at the front of the classroom. "Let's start making a list."

You listened to all of your students call out questions for Bradley while Oliver wrote them down. Then Violet asked, "Can he send us a picture of his whole jet? From the outside of it?"

You cleared your throat and added, "Maybe he could get someone else to take the picture so he could stand in front of it. For size comparison."

Violet nodded, but you knew you were a fraud. Sure, it would be great for the kids to understand just how massive the F/A-18s were compared to an actual person, but you were the one who wanted to see all of Bradley. You were itching for it now. 

Later that night, you drank most of a bottle of wine and did something you promised yourself you'd never do. You logged into your work email account after nine o'clock. You skipped over the handful of unread emails from parents and clicked on the icon to compose a new message. With your liquid courage goading you on, you typed up a response to Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw and hit send before you could think twice.

Thank you for the photos. They were very enlightening. We especially liked the ones where you were showing off your cockpit. Or I did, anyway. The kids liked all of them and started on another list of questions for you. Good luck getting rid of us now. 

We were wondering if you could have someone take a picture of you standing in front of your jet. For size comparison purposes. And also because my students would like to know what you look like. Hearing from you makes our day even better.

You couldn't believe how forward you were being with this man who you'd never even met in person, but you fell asleep thinking about his hands and what they might be capable of.

-------------------------

This Bradley makes me swoon. I've never wanted to be a fourth grade teacher so badly in my life. There is something that's starting to blossom between them even though they haven't even met in person. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 3

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

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[antoncyng]

another small drabble because these kind of plots have been on my mind ever since the video of jennie surprising rose on her fancall 2 years ago.. can you see where im going ? so imagine this with you and wonbin.. 🤍

surprise! - park wonbin

idol!bf!wonbin x nonidol fem!reader

warnings: complete fluff, wonbin as a whipped af bf, supportive reader gf, pet names (angel, baby, princess)

wc : 763

seeing your boyfriend of 3 and a half years get to the top of album charts internationally and in korea, it made you proud. at most times you felt like a proud mom watching her son grow into his dream, and wonbin always knew he had an amazing supportive girlfriend waiting for him at home after his long schedules. at first, the difference between schedules was a small problem when wonbin first debuted. RIIZE was busy everyday, music show after music show. and when they weren’t recording pre-recordings for music bank or inkigayo, they were recording songs. comeback after comeback, wonbin was tired! his favorite part of the day was being able to come home to his affectionate girlfriend, and listen to her day as he slowly falls asleep in her arms.

“baby i have to go now,” wonbin said with a small frown as he looked down at you, clinging onto the standing boys torso as you sat in bed, just woke up. “its so early, i dont want you to go yet” you said, mumbling the words into his shirt as you heard his chuckle at your actions. “i’ll be home soon tonight, we have a fancall and thats it okay? ill be back soon” he told you, gently brushing his fingers through your bed hair, looking up at him and nodding. he bent down to give you a last kiss for that morning before he left, leaving you home alone.

but you were planning something for wonbin, he told you multiple times before that he enjoyed talking to fans and interacting with them through calls, but he got very socially drained easily. and what was the cure to that? you. yes, you spent $650 on albums for your boyfriend to cheer him up while he did his job, and thankfully you got in! you used a different name, your english(or second) name that your parents gave you, the name wonbin definitely wouldn’t be able to tell its you.

POV CHANGE ; yns pov

i got out of bed, looking at the time and remembering my time slot, i had until 3:50 pm. it was currently 11:00 am, i had all the time in the world right now! i sat on the couch going through netflix, finding a show. i finished a few episodes and looked at the time, oh okay its just 3:00.. wait its 3:00 already?! oh my god i have to get ready for the fancall! i jumped off of the couch and ran to my room, changing only my top since wonbin wouldn’t be able to see my pants, then into the bathroom to get ready, i finished my makeup and looked at the time. perfect! 3:35, ill set up the phone and get ready for the call. i sat at my desk in me and wonbins shared room, my phone set up with my mirror lights on, a stand up background behind me with decorations and pictures of wonbin, feeling slightly cringed but excited to see his reaction. i checked the time again, 3:48, i should be getting the call anytime so-

*ring ring ring, ring ring ring*

the phone is ringing! okay, take a deep breath.. wait why am i so nervous? hes my boyfriend..

POV CHANGE BACK authors pov

you answer the video call, the staff holding up a piece of paper with the questions, “can you hear me when i say this?” she says hello and you nod, not wanting to use your voice yet in case wonbin was already listening. the staff held up an OK! 👌 hand and said “please wait”, soon enough you saw the phone being set up to a distracted wonbin, looking down at the album.

“hello? earth to wonbin?” you said with a big smile on your face, watching him snap his head up with a huge smile painted on his face as soon as he recognized your voice. “princess, what are you doing here? why would you buy my fancall?” he asked excitingly, before he got cut off by a younger members peeking his head into the camera. “hiiiii ynie!!” an excited sohee said, you waving to him as he got pushed and shooed away by wonbin. “i wanted to surprise you, i know you said your calls get tiring so i wanted to give you some energy,” you said smiling, then pointing to the background. “do you like it? i made it myself!” you said proudly, watching wonbins huge grin on his grow bigger.

“i love it, thank you angel, youll always be my number supporter hm?”

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Dev update for CT:OS and Merry Crisis

Hi guys! Sorry it's been a while!

Life update

I've been so busy at work that I've barely had time to rest and hang with friends and family, let alone write as much as I need. I've still been spending some of my weekends writing, but rapidly discovering how little I can get done with just 5 or 6 hours of writing per week. (Crazy how much time IF-writing takes haha)

It's just peak busy period for my job right now before holiday season and things will calm down in December.

CT:OS

As y'all may know, I had been hoping to release the update in early Nov for early release folks and mid Nov for public folk.

I am still aiming to squeeze out the CT:OS update by end of Nov or early Dec and I wanted to let you all know where I'm at!

The scenes are about 95% written (all the way up to the end of the matches currently, I'm just finishing up the win/lose reactions and editing)!!

As of right now, the new update stands at a mammoth 90k+ words with code, but I think something like 35-40k in a playthrough, and there are new RO kisses for all ROs :)

The good news despite these delays is that this update (far from being a short pt. 2), is actually meaty enough to really stand as its own update.

Merry Crisis

I'll update again when I have a bit of a sense when CT:OS is done and how busy my December looks.

Ko-fi

Finally, because I don't want ko-fi folk to be paying out of pocket for this month as its taking a bit longer than expected, I will be refunding ko-fi monthly payments from beginning of Nov until the next update, which I hope will be before Dec.

Once again thanks everyone for continuing to read/play the IFs, supporting me, and sending me love/messages :)

❤️ hope to have some great update news for you guys soon!

[gxhaode]

To all the boys I’ve loved before

Pairing: Student!ChoiYeonjunxstudent!femreaderxchildhoodbestfriend!ChoiBeomgyu

Summary: Your romantic life was practically non-existent, only having crushed on a handful of guys which never went anywhere. All of this took a turn after Yunjin, your best friend, decided to mail your crushes the letters that you wrote for them during your crushing phases. What happens when one of the letters ends up at Choi Beomgyu door, your best friend since diapers or worse, your ex best friend's boyfriends, Choi Yeonjun? Will Yunjins tactic finally get you to find love or will it just lead to disaster?

Genre: Highschool au, social media au, love triangle, light angst, fluff, crack

Warnings: swearing(this is all I can think for now but if theres anything else that you notice and think should be a warning do let me know:) )

Features: Txt, lesserafim, aespa,enhypen

Start: 10th March 2023

End: 12th July 2023

Status: Completed

A/N: I am currently in my last year of school before I start university so A LOTTT of exams are coming up so my posting days might be a bit off due to that:’) but I’ll try my best to be organized and have everything ready for u guys in time:)

Taglist:OPEN

Profiles:

Moodboards:

Y/n, Yeonjun, Beomgyu

Socials:

y/n’s bullies | skateboardclub | thechadsquad

Chapters:

Monologue

Chapter 1: I hate it here

Chapter 2: im single BY CHOICE

Chapter 3: WHOS WE💀‼️

Chapter 4: this bouta be good🍿

Chapter 5: I AM A COWARD.

Chapter 6: Message from Unknown

Chapter 7: Jesus’s doorstep

Chapter 8: DO IT

Chapter 9: he dead.

Chapter 10: Soobin the human shield🤩🛡️

Chapter 11: did that girl just faint? (Written)

Chapter 12: Man its only Tuesday

Chapter 13: Yuny/n era?🤭💗💗

Chapter 14: hes lost it😭😭

Chapter 15: oNe EyE oPen wHen YoUre SleEpinGggg

Chapter 16: r u gasslighting me rn?😀

Chapter 17: Hunting y/n for sports😍(Written)

Chapter 18: Are you mental?

Chapter 19: Get that dick y/n😩

Chapter 20: the contract

Chapter 21: just go knock?💀

Chapter 22: oh.

Chapter 23: text y/n

Chapter 24: its on

Chapter 25: you’re cute♡

Chapter 26: rebound shit😭

Chapter 27: oh bby…

Chapter 28: The scrunchie (written)

Chapter 29: no💞

Chapter 30: YOU JEALOUS BROTHA(Smau +written)

Chapter 31: its always Soobin(Smau + Written)

Chapter 32: im fine wdym

Chapter 33: wtf is going on😭

Chapter 34: Operation SS

Chapter 35: SS Shananigans

Chapter 36: Toxic Relationships(Written)

Chapter 37: Ill be here for you(Written)

Chapter 38: OH IM WORRYING

Chapter 39: Ski trip day🥳🏔️

Chapter 40: me and you<3(written+smau)

Chapter 41: never🤙🏻

Chapter 42: haters gonna hate.

Chapter 43: guys?😀

Chapter 44: Jacuzzi(Smau + Written)

Chapter 45: we need to talk (Written)

Chapter 46: preach🗣️

Chapter 47: no homo

Chapter 48: pull a y/n

Chapter 49:Endgame

Taglist: @ghostfacefricker6969 @yumilovesloona @il0vebeomgyu @curly-fr13s @blueishwoodz @kaewonie @uno7 @hyu-kas @daisyhwa @captivq @s00buwu @lixie-phoria

[misscammiedawn]

Dissociative Identity Disorder in Mr. Robot

So I have been writing little essays about Mr. Robot recently.

Dom's Sexuality, Gay Marriage and Whiterose

Back to the Future and Brainwashing

Today I wish to talk about the DID representation in Mr. Robot.

Actually I want to talk about the DID representation in the Hulk comics but there are 40 years worth of storylines involving it and it would require me to write about clinical understandings from the 1980s when it was called MPD (admitedly Mr. Robot's stumbles at the finish line with some of these same outdated treatment models) and that would take a while. Suffice to say it will happen eventually*. I shall make a new tag "Media Myself and I" and post it under that when I have more time to do it justice. Maybe I'll do others. I am uncertain. I believe I want to focus on positive depictions where there are no murder alters. The goal is to get people to want to enjoy things, not to steer them away. I have a few shows and games in mind at the very least.

Regardless… Mr. Robot is an easier topic to cover and is my hyperfocus of the moment.

So Mr. Robot is a show about isolation in the modern world. It's a show about socioeconomic stress, late-stage capitalism and what it means to enact meaningful change on a broken world.

But above all it is about the healing journey of Elliot Alderson, a man with dissociative identity disorder.

I say that at the start because Elliot's condition is never named until the final episode. In many ways a realistic depiction of a real world disorder was an afterthought noted in the final hour of the journey as a means of justifying the split personality trope and hiding a final twist. In spite of that the roadmap for the show was always leading to this destination and along the way they managed to get some fairly good representation out of the mix.

Season 2 even involves the only time I have ever seen a piece of fiction depict "blending" on screen. Blending isn't a symptom listed in either DSM or ICD manuals. It is, however, something one would hear about if they had a conversation with someone who had DID. I have used that scene to depict what it feels like to my partners.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

I love Mr. Robot. It is currently my favorite show of all time. If you have never seen it then please give it a shot. This post will be spoiler heavy and I'd hate to rob anyone the opportunity to watch S4E7 and have a pure emotional reaction to it. The show is on Amazon Prime and the full box set is available for $35-50 depending on format and vendor.

Go with my blessing.

-

The first season of the show begins with Elliot Alderson (Rami Malek) living a double life. By day a cyber security expert and by night he spends his time at his computer hacking people's accounts and satisfying a "little itch in the back of his head" that guides him to uncover the murky facts about people. The first scene of the show has him take down a cafe owner who hosts an illegal and deeply unpleasant website. I have seen individuals walk away from the first episode thinking that the show is "Dexter but with computers" but it is more lulsec activism with a Fight Club aesthetic.

The show has 4 seasons and each season depicts a different stage of Elliot's healing journey and with it completely different rules and depictions of his condition. I'll break down each season for what they do right and what they do wrong.

Season 1: Discovery

Elliot's system in season one is undiscovered but he has overt symptoms, meaning he is unaware that he has any alters but he suffers from clean breaks in his consciousness and drastically altered behavior patterns both which are a detriment to the "hidden" nature of the condition.

Commonly most people do not discover their condition until their 30s. I was 37/38 when our therapist started guiding us towards accepting our condition.

DID manifests in childhood but it's a hidden illness that does its best to go undetected. The point of the condition is to remain hidden. The internet and the educational resources it offers are helping younger individuals to recognize their symptoms and advocate for themselves at an earlier age but the standard medical understanding is that most people are developed adults before they are diagnosed.

Published statistics for DID indicate the global population of those with the condition is about 1.5% (some organizations argue the number should be higher due to how difficult it is to receive an accurate diagnosis, but 1.5% is the most consistent figure) which is rare but not to the point of never encountering it. For comparison, according to a 2023 census 1.0% of people in the USA identify as transgender. There are no tested classifications for Covert vs Overt display of symptoms but it is widely agreed that an overwhelming majority of cases within the 1.5% are covert.

We learn that Elliot is desperately lonely, abuses morphine and has paranoid delusions about men in black stalking his every move. Whenever Elliot is on screen we can never be sure what is real and what isn't, so there are times when men wearing black suits are on screen and we cannot be sure if Elliot is paranoid or delusional.

The show takes place through his perspective after all and we are a character in the show.

See… the narrative device of the show involves Elliot speaking to "friend", us. The audience. "Hello, friend." is a common refrain spoken throughout the show. The narrative begins a short while after Elliot had a complete mental breakdown and smashed up a server room, he is seeing a court appointed therapist, is socially paralyzed to the point of which we see him linger outside a birthday party and retreat home to cry in loneliness.

The entire first season Mr. Robot is depicted as another character, akin to Tyler Durden, a wild revolutionary who wants to encrypt the data of the world's largest bank in order to seal the debt records and reset everything back to 0. He starts off appearing in scenes involving the men in black stalking Elliot to mingle him in with the paranoid delusions and eventually begins interacting with him in earnest. Though the reveal is treated as a twist 8 episodes into the show Elliot does accuse the audience of knowing the entire time and he refuses to speak to us for some time, even going as far as to keep secrets from us because he cannot trust us any longer.

It's at this point that I will note that media depictions of DID tend to lean heavily on the phrase "it's a visual medium" and depict ways that characters can see, interact with and communicate with alters/parts in a dramatic setting. Off the top of my head Hulk is about the only form of fiction I've seen where the temptation to do this doesn't take over and even then the old "other face in the mirror" trope shows up there.

So for what it's worth the paranoid thinking and hallucinations are not DID symptoms and typically a person with the condition cannot see or hear their alters. In fact a testing criteria included in the MID exam is to rule out schizophrenia by eliminating the possibility that the voices heard are external or that any hallucinations exist. In Mr. Robot they are likely caused by Elliot's morphine addiction, but he gets clean after season 1 and Mr. Robot is always there.

There are some plot elements which I want to talk about but they do spoil the final "twist" of the show. So I want to warn again that anyone in the process of watching should be warned we are getting into entire show spoiler territory.

The Elliot we see in the show is the result of the stress fueled breakdown that Mr. Alderson had 6 months prior to the show starting. The timeline is fuzzy in my head but there were two triggers which set him off and began his condition flaring up (and/or caused him to lean harder into his drug addiction which in turn fueled his condition). The one we know about is that he was locked in a server room and forced to work long into the night on an issue and the already upset and stressed Elliot snapped and had a black-out.

We come to learn that he has had these his whole life but this is the first time such an incident occurred that he couldn't self-justify what had happened. He smashed up a server room, something he felt himself not capable of.

But the second trigger is the more important one.

His sister, Darlene, moved to NYC and started visiting him.

The bigger and better twist of season 1 is that Elliot and Darlene are siblings. This is hidden from Elliot and the audience for the first 7 episodes and her presence is treated much like Marla Singer from Fight Club, of whom she likely contains some inspiration, where she keeps showing up in Elliot's apartment and acting overly familiar with him.

In the earliest episodes when we are learning about Elliot's lonely life he looks at a photograph of himself and his mother at Coney Island. Due to some hallucinations we know that Magda is an abusive mother and screamed at/hit Elliot a lot. We learn more about her in future episodes and she is a truly horrible parent. Likely more than was ever depicted in the show.

The photo is actually of the full Alderson family including Darlene and Edward but is not shown as such until the reveals that Darlene is Elliot's sister and Mr. Robot is modeled after Elliot's father. The photograph is a reference to Back to the Future.

But it also is a fairly good visual representation of self-filtering information, even when it is contradictory in nature. This is common not just in DID but in all forms of CPTSD.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that develops during prolonged exposure to trauma and makes radical changes to the nervous system. CPTSD is considered a root of DID and it is universal for those diagnosed with DID to have a CPTSD diagnosis also.

One of the ways CPTSD symptoms manifest is "Emotional Avoidance". The nervous system is activated when triggers related to the trauma exist within the person's life. In order to function their brains push away these reminders and naturally avoid interacting with them. This causes those with the condition to become withdrawn, to isolate and to have distorted and often contradicting patterns of thought. For instance Elliot needs connection and safety that he associates with family but his family were his primary abusers and so he edits his memories to focus on positive associations such as a family trip to Coney Island that has become an obsession to him in adulthood. We later learn that Elliot's obsession with movies was born from it being his primary way of connecting with his father... which is fairly relatable.

His positive memories of his parents are held in high regard even though we know that his father "pushed him out of a window" and his mother used to put out cigarette butts on Darlene, tried to force her to commit animal cruelty and is often depicted in hallucinations as beating and screaming at Elliot.

In a case where it is impossible to avoid the traumatic trigger, for instance the return of relative who is a living reminder of his abusive childhood, the individual may begin to dissociate. Dissociation being where a person, overwhelmed by what they are experiencing has a separation from their normal state leading to a disconnect from emotions, sense of self and reality.

Episode 8 in particular contains a visual depiction of it when Elliot is having a quiet meltdown over finding out he has a 2 day deadline and his boss at work has known about the server exploit he installed all along.

(the show often uses the camera in ways to emphasize emotional walls, dissociation and isolation like this. This sequence does so by having hard cuts, shaky cam and frantic pace melt into a gliding slow lull where the background noise filters out and we can share in Elliot's distance from his situation for a moment)

Elliot's form of blocking out is extreme but has half a foot in reality (and half a foot in the logic born from the "twist" ending) in that in order to continue interacting with Darlene he views her as a member of Fsociety and edits out their connection until it is revealed in episode 7.

A small brilliancy about Fsociety is that the entire group is formed around Elliot and Darlene's need for childhood safety. The hacking elements of the show undoubtedly born from 9 year old Elliot spending time at Mr. Robot computer repair with a smile. The anon-mask that the show uses comes from an in-universe movie that Darlene and Elliot watched every Halloween and their base of operations is Coney Island. A place that both siblings seem to associate with safety and happiness...

Which is extra messed up when you factor Season 2's revelation that Darlene was kidnapped while on a family trip to Coney Island.

Darlene's panic attacks, need to feel special and her abusive upbringing are not the topic for this essay, but I wanted to make mention that Magda was such a horrible mother that a 4/5 year old Darlene thinks of being kidnapped from a family trip to Coney Island as one of her most precious childhood memories.

The desire to reach into the past and change things to create an ideal future is a heavy theme of the show and I feel it's important to note that though the Alderson siblings reject Whiterose and her scheme, they are both living in an almost literal fun house distortion of the few unambiguously GOOD childhood memories that they each have and have wrapped them around themselves like a protective blanket.

The plot of season 1 gets a lot more uncomfortable when you realize how much of Fsociety is two traumatized kids recreating positive elements of their childhood and trying to live inside of those memories while lashing out at those who took their father away from them. The entire plan is centered around events from 1995. The show takes place in 2015.

Mr. Robot himself is, of course, the ultimate symbol of that take on events.

Edward Alderson was a monster. He's referred to as such overtly in Elliot's detox fever dream. Everyone asks him who his "monster" is while handing him the key that we learn was to his childhood bedroom. A key that he hid to prevent Edward from entering his room late at night.

Yet throughout the first 3 seasons of the show we are only shown him in context of the positive memories that he and Elliot shared. Elliot was 9 years old when Edward passed away from leukemia.

At a point, Elliot is picked up from school. He has a bruise on his cheek and the scene begins with Edward asking "If I had to guess, you didn't tell Principal Howard your side.", assuring him it's okay to share his side of the story. Because Edward is convincing him to tell his side I am going to assume Elliot got into a fight but it's not impossible to assume that the school pulled Edward in to discuss the signs of physical abuse on the child. Edward would never tell Elliot to tell his side of that story so I assume it was a fight.

It's unclear if Mr. Robot is the one who participated in those fights (we only have 2 confirmed instances of Elliot's alters showing up in childhood. The window incident and the day Edward died) but Edward picks him up and protects him from his mother's wrath and bonds with him during that drive, he reveals his diagnosis to Elliot before inviting him to work with him at the computer repair store. Likely this is what leads to Elliot's hacker skills being born.

A hauntingly similar event in my own life is why I am a photographer.

Given that the majority of Season 1 has Elliot in the dark about his condition we are only given context as to why he is the way he is and see the display of dissociative symptoms which manifest from CPTSD. Mr. Robot existing at all is actually not required for this to be a good depiction of adults who grew up in abusive environments and the way they maladaptively cope.

I also want to give a little praise to the "itch at the back of [Elliot's] head" that shows up when he feels the desire to hack someone or dig deeper and the way he pushes forward with his own will until he calms down enough to let a creeping hesitation overcome him and prevent him from acting.

Passive Influence is part of DID. It's a situation where a "fronting" (that is to say part that is in control at a time) performs an unthinking action or is emotionally swayed by the influence of another part/alter that is not presently conscious. These are one of the biggest ways that the condition flies under the radar for many. When they are close to discovering proof of their condition they will often feel an unconscious push away from it. The phenomenon is fairly easily brushed aside internally as "a gut feeling" or an "impulse" but it's observable under the right conditions.

An instance I can think of in my own life is when our survival part is trying to push people away and our emotional part desperately tries to reach out. I will often find my hand grabbing a person's wrist and clinging tightly to it without even noticing that I've done it.

In the show Elliot is compelled by Mr. Robot when he feels someone is a danger or has a weakness that can be exploited. Part of him knows he needs to do something about it and so he lets himself be guided.

The season ends with The 5/9 Hack succeeding, all the financial data being encrypted and Elliot sent to prison for (minor) hacking charges.

He knows who Mr. Robot is now and he fears him as his enemy.

Season 2 (and the book): Exploration

The first 8 episodes of Season 2 are a filter for those watching the show, many drop off. Personally I love it but I can see why it's not for everyone. Season 2 is much slower than the first and Elliot is in prison for those 8 episodes. He's also imagining that prison is his mother's house.

That daydreaming coping mechanism is largely there to add a fairly unearned sense of mystery to a character development season and make things a little more visually interesting. For the most part I don't really want to focus too much on it or the way Elliot treats "us"/"friend".

The fact is that for this season Mr. Robot and Elliot are in direct conflict but they are feeling out their landscape and trying to find common ground. They are pulling in different directions but they are reacting and responding to one another. The show uses a chess match as a visual symbol of this and in such they are keeping one another in a constant state of check. They are opposed to one another but they are communicating and working things out.

So let's start by looking at the book. The book is a recreation of the in-universe journal that Elliot keeps while he is in prison. We see him writing in it during the show and the entire thing is available, it even includes little ARG elements to let you decode the messages Mr. Robot is receiving from The Dark Army.

The book is detailed like this and it's possible to note when Elliot's handwriting turns into Mr. Robot's handwriting. There are even points where there is "blended" handwriting. It's easy to spot in the above image because Mr. Robot writes with a heavy hand and in all caps where Elliot is soft and uses lower case, in the top line of the second page "you NeeD atteNtioN aNd aRe Willing to pay a lotta MoNey to get it." you can see Elliot slipping from one headspace to another while becoming upset at society.

Even still if you look above the FUCK SOCIETY image you see Elliot's calmer handwriting as clear and flowing.

When we were in denial of our condition we poured through journal after journal and chatlog after chatlog hunting for evidence to prove or disprove the theory.

It was when I looked at our old gaming journals (we took notes in pen/pencil live during TTRPG sessions because memory issues are gonna memory issues) that we noticed similar. Cursive used in some phrases, individual letters separate on another, the letters g and y getting curled at times and not at other times.

Subtler than what is displayed above but no less real.

Season 2 introduces us to Ray the warden brilliantly played by Craig Robinson. He empathizes with Elliot because he speaks to his dead wife as a means of coping with grief and assumes that Elliot is the same.

He offers Elliot guidance by asking him to play chess "against himself" and this leads to Elliot and Mr. Robot playing endless games of stalemate against one another with deletion on the line for the loser. It's the same brain and neither side wants to lose (nor do they truly want to win, Elliot admits as much in Season 3 that he likes having Mr. Robot and misses him when he's not around) and as noted above with passive influence, the games are always guided to end in a stalemate because no matter how opposed they are as forces, they both want the same things.

So... how about the Sitcom episode?

Elliot breaks his promise to Ray and looks at the website that he is tasked with doing tech support on. It's--- not good.

Ray uses a combination of crooked cops and convicted Neo-Nazis to have Elliot beaten into submission so he won't report what he saw. Elliot cannot handle this and has a mental break and wakes up in a 90s 4 camera sitcom world.

Alf is there. Because old episodes of Alf are playing in the medical ward at the time Elliot is being treated for his wounds.

The entire time he is taking a beating Mr. Robot is protecting Elliot by fronting and forcing him into an inner-world fantasy.

Okay... so Inner-Worlds.

In the show we actually had one of these in Season 1 during the detox trip but I want to talk about it now and round back and talk more in Season 4.

Inner-Worlds are a thing within DID treatment. Emphasis on the word treatment. It's one of the more commonly misunderstood things within discussion on the condition because it's regularly reported as part of the experiences within those who are diagnosed with DID but it's important to know that the existence of the diagnosis indicates the existence of treatment.

During any adapted 3 or 4 phase trauma treatment program that includes parts work, whether this be Internal Family Systems model which is used for individuals who do not have DID or system mapping and stabilization for those who do, the patient must work on creating a "meeting" space to visualize (or sense out emotionally for those with aphantasia) and much of the work of developing safety and structure within comes from filling that space with comforts and generating communication between parts.

I'll talk more on the "conference table" in Season 4.

It is possible for those not going through therapy to create one outside of the context of a therapeutic alliance but the creation of one is an intentional act. Not something that comes free with your childhood trauma.

Elliot's trip to the inner-world keeps him from experiencing any of the beating that the body is receiving and at the end Mr. Robot earnestly says he only wanted to take the punches for Elliot, nothing more. Elliot falls against him, tearful and whimpers out "Thank you" before we are given the flashback of the day Edward picked up 9 year old Elliot from school after the fight and confesses his leukemia.

For the record, my heart swells every time I see Mr. Robot acting as a protector.

So, let's talk S2E9 and the "blending" incident.

Blending is what happens when two parts/alters are co-conscious and are present enough that they are sharing control of the body. It's an uncomfortable experience. Co-Consciousness means that more than one part/alter is actively perceiving the world at any given time.

It's more complicated than binary yes/no. Every one of these experiences exists on a spectrum and no two people with the condition experience it quite the same way but there are levels of presence that one has.

The following is me talking more from anecdotes and personal experience than textbooks. I like to be clear when I'm not being academic because I do not want to spread misinformation in my arbitrary analysis of TV shows that will get 20 notes on Tumblr Dot Com.

Front is to be driving the body, to have your inner monologue playing (if you have one, most people do, but it's not a given) and have your emotions interact with the nervous system if you are grounded enough to feel your experiences. As I said, it's a spectrum. Everyone gets dissociated at times and can just go into auto-pilot or a trance. That all still counts as being in front.

To be conscious but not front is to exist in an emotionally reactive state. If Fronting is driving then co-consciousness is to be in the passenger seat.

It's truly difficult to describe and my therapist doesn't even fully comprehend it despite her being the one who educates me on these topics. Presently as I type this I can only feel one of our system (5 parts) active and "with" me right now. She's not speaking but she's reacting. I can feel her apprehension to us typing this much about our personal life, little flits of paranoid thinking that we'll get anon-hate or that people from our former life will see this and judge us. It's a presence and exists on a gradient. She's "awake" right now but I do not consider her fully "co-con" because if I asked her to tell me what she thinks about this sentence I can feel an emotional reaction (apprehension) but not a direct answer akin to "I think you should edit out references to our journal and focus on talking about the show" (which is what I imagine she would say right now). That's the spectrum.

Closer to the front a part/alter is the more direct communication happens.

There's also "asleep" and "dormant" when they are unresponsive. Pretty self explanatory. Elliot's system has 5 parts(plus "friend") and until Season 4 we only really see Mr. Robot and the main character version of Elliot. Magda and Young Elliot show up in hallucinations in Season 1 and Young Elliot is co-con in Season 4. Magda never shows up outside of emotional flashbacks and the inner-world.

So after Elliot and Mr. Robot combine forces (though Mr. Robot is still working with the Dark Army and is trying to move in secret) they have moments where they rapidly switch and cannot keep straight who is fronting at any given time.

There's a scene where Elliot is in another room thinking to "friend" when he hears an argument in the next room and realizes Mr. Robot is in the argument. As he walks in, Mr. Robot is surprised to see that Elliot is aware when he is fronting and he trails off and they switch.

Mr. Robot says that something feels off about how they are acting and that they feel like they're overheating.

A later scene depicts Elliot phasing out mid-conversation on the subway and picturing himself in the next car observing Mr. Robot talking to Cisco while a passenger plays erratic music on a keyboard.

That is such a horrifyingly accurate depiction of something we live with that I was stunned to see it on screen. I've included it in some of my stories that go over living with these experiences but the idea is when we are stressed out, can't keep our head straight and are blended like this we tend to have snippets of music playing over and over in our head. We also get what I refer to as "static" and that seems to be relatable in support groups.

A++ for the show depicting something about the DID experience that simply does not get spoken about outside of the spaces of people dealing with it. It was the moment I knew they actually spoke to people who experience this stuff and did proper research that wasn't just media depictions and medical textbooks.

The final part of Season 2's wild ride I want to talk about is the "lucid dreaming" bit.

Mind awake. Body asleep. Mind awake. Body asleep.

This again goes into Overt DID which I cannot comment on as much as covert depictions but the idea is that Elliot trains himself to remain awake when Mr. Robot takes over. We have seen from the blending experience that he is starting to remain when Mr. Robot is active and so he tries to force himself to stay when Mr. Robot is active.

In therapy this would be achieved through trust, communication and awareness. It's said in communities that systems tend to become more overt as they go through treatment as they are able to identify lines, parts can advocate for themselves and there's better understanding of what "self" means for every alter.

In my experience there's also an element of trying to pretend to be consistent and whole. We were coming out transgender when our therapist guided us towards DID diagnosis and there was a lot of tearing ourselves apart because we needed to act in a certain way for our safety and inability to do so put us at risk of being targeted. In accepting our system we have stopped trying to be the same individual and that has lead to a more overt presentation. As I tell my therapist "we need to act out our gender expression anyway. Every action we take is a performance."

That is to say, Mr. Robot has never attempted to maintain the illusion that he is Elliot Alderson (albeit he never identifies himself. He's even surprised to learn that Elliot calls him that) and Elliot doesn't even know he is "The Mastermind".

In opting to remain hidden and conscious he gains a greater degree of control and agency in his situation.

These things get easier as you learn your condition, build system trust and allow yourself to experience that which you feel comfortable experiencing. With the example of the beating earlier, Mr. Robot shut Elliot out and took the beating for him and Elliot resisted but ultimately did not want to be present. In this episode he learns that if he wishes he could have pushed through and been there and experienced everything, albeit as a passenger rather than the driver.

Therapy also teaches how to "go into the back room" to maintain stability. A technique that lets you volunteer to not be involved in a situation. My system all use this whenever I (Dawn) perform erotic intimacy of any kind. They cannot handle the thought of associating with those acts and prior to treatment it would emotionally disregulate our nervous system if parts that couldn't handle the concept were to be present during those moments because parts of me would be trying to dissociate while I am trying to act. It would either trigger a switch, cause blending or make a part shut down and become unresponsive for a large period of time- one of our partners actually discovered our system this way. She saw us shut down during a scene and realized it wasn't just a "mood swing" as we had insisted.

Elliot learns how to intentionally open up and be present when Mr. Robot is active and because Plot happens he is shot and decides to use this skill to close himself off and create a stronger divide between parts.

Season 3: Rejection

If Season 2 was the pair working things out on a chess match where they keep one another in check then Season 3 is after Elliot has tossed the board and decided to shut Mr. Robot out completely.

The arc words are "battling in our own voids", in Season 1 Mr. Robot was always aware of what Elliot was doing but Elliot was unaware of Mr. Robot's actions and in Season 2 they were fairly co-conscious to the point of overheating. Season 3 the connection is shut down. Mr. Robot has no concept of what Elliot is doing and Elliot no concept of what Mr. Robot is doing.

This goes back to the Overt/Covert thing mentioned at the start. It's a rare thing even within a rare disorder to have that level of amnesia barriers between parts and so I can't really comment on accuracy. It's a frustrating season for me in that regard because Season 2 was doing so well at depicting something that I have lived through that going back to Fight Club tropes was fairly disappointing to me.

Season 3 is great by the way. It's a debate on if 3 or 4 is the best but it's close enough that there is a debate.

The real meat of the discussion, spare for the events of the final episode where they reconcile, is in how other people treat them and talk about their condition.

Angela Moss is Elliot's childhood best friend and also lost a parent to the disaster that claimed Edward Alderson's life. She discovered Elliot's condition during his breakdown in S1E8 and was brainwashed by the show villain Whiterose in S2E11 (I have a write-up of the psychological principals at play with the brainwashing here).

In Season 3 she acts as Elliot/Mr. Robot's handler and is responsible for helping Mr. Robot continue his hacktivist terrorism without Elliot finding out. She betrays Elliot and exploits his condition. She also tells people about it without his knowledge or consent, which is pretty fucking monstrous in my eyes.

Don't out a person. Just don't do it.

When Mr. Robot asks how she can tell who she's talking to she responds "Your eyes. You're never trying to look away." which is accurate enough that I messaged my girlfriend to be sappy and grateful towards her as the first time she noticed our condition she told me it was our eyes.

From a 2022 IM chat, shared with permission:

"it's ... well, it's [...] your eyes soften, kind of, when going to Cammie. Dawn has this piercing gaze, like she's looking right into my heart and soul. Camden is just very alert, noticing so many things but not the level of piercing. Cammie... her gaze is softer. More focused, but in a ... drinking everything in, rather than seeking it out sort of way"

and added today when I asked for permission to share the quote:

"(for the record, Craig draws his eyebrows down in a particular way that makes his gaze intense in a good way)"

The show works as hard as it can to never let the audience wonder who they are seeing on screen at any time. Most scenes where Rami Malek is depicting Mr. Robot it is a brief perspective view to remind us what the other characters are seeing before switching back to Christian Slater playing the character. There are a few scenes which involve Rami playing the character for a full sequence. One is the context for a flashback where we see a scene Slater performed through another character's eyes where they see Malek.

The others usually involve us being in Darlene's perspective to highlight her unease and uncertainty of what is happening with her brother.

The only scene where it is ever treated as a surprise is when Darlene plants a bug on Elliot's computer while staying overnight and is roughly interrogated by "Elliot", only to realize midway through the conversation "Jesus. It's you".

The camera cuts back to reveal it has been Mr. Robot the entire scene. They avoid that trick throughout the show so it has large impact when it actually happens.

I feel like that scene (as well as the scene where Elliot wears the real Mr. Robot jacket and gives birth to the 2 Stage plan to take down Evil Corp) are important for reminding that no matter how differently Malek and Slater play their roles, to an outside observer they are the same person and when he acts "out of character" it could easily just be an emotional outburst.

Incidentally you can see the physicality of the acting if you go back and watch it again.

The end of the season has Elliot, betrayed, alone and terrified for the safety of his sister; finally reach out to Mr. Robot and open a dialogue.

He even goes out of his way to have this discussion on the Ferris Wheel at Coney Island both as a Season 1 callback and as a sign of trust. Elliot admits in this conversation that he missed Mr. Robot while he shut him out and wants him to be part of his life and in the season finale Mr. Robot says that he wants the two of them to keep talking.

Elliot also finds out that the window incident wasn't his dad pushing him out of a window. They jumped. Elliot asks in a kind and soft way to Mr. Robot, representing both his protector and an element of the loving father he wished he had, "did you know?"

Mr. Robot, the one who jumped. The one who wanted to protect Elliot from Edward says nothing. But he finally feels an alliance form with Elliot.

The road to healing finally has opened.

Season 4: Integration and Fusion

So let's address the elephant in the room right away. The show uses the word "real" to describe the Elliot who existed before the show started and considers him to be the only legitimate alter. There is enough wiggle room within the show to think that is in-universe ignorance but the show does nothing to prevent the fumble at the finish line.

I want to say upfront and before I start dissecting this season that outdated models of DID believed that there was a crack formed in a person's sense of self and that healing involved restoring the identity prior to the crack.

This is 100% UNTRUE and it upsets me that people once believed it. DID is formed in childhood during a time of a person's life (between ages 4-9) where the child is taking in data from their surroundings and integrating it into their socialized survival mechanics to form a personality. The child is working out what traits it can exhibit to receive nurture, care and protection from other humans and will adapt to those processes. Attachment Theory goes into greater detail about how this relates to the formation of psychological disorders, especially personality disorders.

For a traumatized child they will find that their environments do not offer consistent and reliable safety and thus they are unable to adapt to a version of their reality where they are able to maintain stable safety. This may be horrifying forms of physical, emotional and sexual abuse placed upon a child and is often depicted as such but it can also be a confused child trying to get affection from a cold and distant parent or having a parent who abuses alcohol and becomes inconsistent in their ability to give affection and care. Child psychology is a heavy and depressing field, sadly.

The result is that the child never forms a permanent sense of identity. This is a large factor in the formation of Borderline Personality Disorder and is why DID and BPD are so often thrown together within medical treatment and diagnosis. It's at the point of which when my therapist gave me our diagnosis she presented a clinical list of "myths" regarding DID and "BPD is the same thing as DID" was 5 on the list of 6.

The point of this detour is to say that there is no original self. A person who has DID never managed to form a stable sense of identity in childhood and thus they find themselves acting as chameleons in their day-to-day life, adapting to what they feel they need to become in order to receive the things they need from their surroundings. It's why there is a stigma in the BPD community over the concept of being "manipulative". In reality people with that condition are unconsciously adapting to their environment as a survival mechanism. With DID the added layer of dissociation is there to help the self function even when they are forced to interact with materials that are incompatible with their ability to function.

Pre-show Elliot was living a fairly comfortable life but his emotional needs were not met and at the time he was alienated from his sister. He was miserable and lived in a society that he felt was crumbling. His daydreaming gave birth to "The Mastermind" to remove the threats from his reality and Mr. Robot who had been there all along went into Protective Sicko Mode and decided to expedite the process in a way only a protector's morality could.

We'll get into system roles a little later.

The point is that day-to-day life Elliot (Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Self" refers to the part untouched by trauma as the "going about daily life" part) is not Real. He is not The Original. Those terms do not exist and are meaningless in this space.

True/Real/Orignal-Elliot is as much a construct as Mr. Robot. He's a version of Elliot who does not have to think about the trauma, he can just live a happy normal life. The kind that Elliot speaks often and derisively about in Season 1.

With that out of the way, I'm going to ignore the bad use of language and talk only about what is depicted on the screen and not said out loud. Because if you remove the misconception about real/original from the mixture, this is a perfect depiction of final fusion model healing.

Season 4 introduces us to the conference table in the inner world. A conference table is a therapeutic technique used in trauma therapy where you bring the alters/parts to a conference. The idea is that it needs to be a neutral ground where everyone is comfortable and able to share their thoughts and ideas. With practice it can be a space one can close their eyes and imagine, seeing their system and allowing communication to happen between parts.

Mine is based on the Minerals Gallery in the Natural History Museum in London. I refer to it as The Library. You didn't need to know that but I didn't want to discuss this section without mentioning it.

Elliot's is the conference room in Evil Corp where he and Tyrell spoke in the first episode.

Interestingly enough there are only 4 seats in this set. I'm not sure what the implication is here as in the scene depicted above Magda (Persecutor Alter) is scolding Young Elliot (Child Alter) for sitting in a chair that isn't his. They mention all 3 alters who are not present (Elliot, Mr. Robot and The Other One).

My thought is that this is the show going all in on the idea that Elliot ("Real") is not an alter and does not take a seat at the table. Which I have issues with.

I'll note as I did with the inner-world that this is a therapy technique and not something Elliot would just have in his mind. It's an accurate depiction of DID treatment but Elliot isn't being treated for DID. Krista is no way near close enough to be able to help Elliot. She's wonderful and deserves the world and more for how she handles things in this season but she's in the pre-stabilization phase of therapy where she knows more than Elliot is willing to accept and needs to wait for him to come around.

Speaking of Krista. Episode 7 is the greatest hour of television rivaled only by Ozymandias from Breaking Bad and the M*A*S*H finale. At present it has a 9.9 on IMDB.

The episode is structured as a bottle episode in way of a 5 act play depicting the stages of grief. This is the episode where Elliot peels back to dissociative layers and understands the truth. The truth of what his father did.

I won't type it.

I don't need to.

The next episode involves Elliot seeing Young Elliot and following him to a museum exhibit with a model of Manhattan. In Season 1 when Elliot had his psychotic break after realizing Darlene is his sister Darlene and Angela checked this location stating it was a place he used to go in times of crisis.

It turns out when he was young Elliot hid the key to his bedroom here to prevent Edward from getting in. All these years later adult Elliot (or "The Mastermind" if you prefer, which I do not) discovers it and has a heart-to-heart with his younger self, screaming into the emptiness that he's sorry for not protecting him. Sorry for letting him get hurt.

The scene is lit in the golden hues that symbolize safety in this show. The final season also takes place during Christmas in New York so it gets to show off that color palette more often which is great for symbolism and aesthetic.

Young Elliot shows that the act of hiding the key from their father was protecting him. It was fighting back. Sometimes surviving is the best you can do and you need to forgive yourself for not being able to do more.

God I love this show so much.

That episode ends with the scene I most want to just overtly show off to an audience.

I already loved the show. The final episode may have broken my heart a little with its talk of "Real" but this scene? This scene gets it.

Prior to the above video clip Mr. Robot cautiously approaches and says "Hey, kiddo". Something he always says. It's who he is. Regardless of anything else he, Mr. Robot, is designed from the father Elliot wishes he had and when he hears Mr. Robot-- no Edward's voice he tenses up in terror, allowing the above scene to take place with Mr. Robot so scared that he has failed as a protector by allowing Elliot to remember and that he cannot be there for him any longer because of who he is based off of.

Those with the condition commonly create alters who are based on the traits of those in the child's life at the time the symptoms developed. I... have experience.

The lines I want to focus on the most are:

Mr Robot: If I could go back in time and change everything that happened to you... just make it all go away...

Elliot: Then I wouldn't be me... *He turns to finally look at Mr. Robot* ...and I wouldn't have you.

The final arc of the show is where the "Mastermind" twist takes center stage and Elliot enters his inner-world and finds out that he created a peaceful reality for "Real" Elliot to exist in so that he is unharmed by the horrors of the world that is crumbling in reality. Mr. Robot, as a protector, wanted to expedite the whole hack and destruction of capitalism in order to rescue "Real" Elliot from the inner-world prison. In time he came to accept "Mastermind" as a part of the whole and not a rogue alter who was endangering the body and their "Host".

S4E13 lays it all down. An imagined version of Krista speaks directly to Elliot and explains the system and their functions. Mr. Robot a father and protector who could prevent Elliot from intolerable situations. Magda, a persecutor who blamed Elliot for the abuse. Young Elliot, who Elliot could push the traumatic situations on, a common thing that many do unconsciously in CPTSD situations, dissociating from the person the trauma happened to, disconnecting until they are just another version of self.

Elliot then says "I guess she doesn't know about you." referring to us, the audience.

Krista(*) looks into the camera and addresses us directly, calling us the voyeurs who pretend we're not a part of it even though we have been here for it all. She even claims we are on her side in getting "Mastermind" to accept he is a constructed personality who was there to lash out at the society that caused him so much pain.

"You loved him so much you wanted to keep him safe, no matter the cost."

The episode ends with "Mastermind" Elliot waking up in a hospital and reuniting with Darlene only to realize that she has known the entire time that the person we have been following throughout the show wasn't her "real" brother.

...and god damn it I hate this element of the show so much.

I'll accept that they had very little time to clean things up and needed to get a way to have Mastermind agree to the fusion. I'll even demonize Darlene and say she was being selfish and ignorant in saying something hurtful because she missed the version of her brother that existed before Fsociety.

But Our version of Elliot says that he loves her and she doesn't reply. Her disappointment and resignation causes Our Elliot to go back inside and agree to the fusion.

The show ends in a first person perspective of Darlene seeing her "real" brother wake up and that's it. I'm glad we never actually see "Real" Elliot, that feels fitting.

Here's the thing about that last minute fumble though.

Let's talk about Integration and Fusion. They are different things.

Integration is when dissociative barriers come down. The system is stabilized to the point of which the alters are capable of communicating openly, sharing thoughts, memories and experiences and every part has the ability to opt in or out as life goes on.

"Functional Multiplicity" is what happens when a system is in harmony, no memories are being withheld and the system is able to go about everyday life with minimal disruption or disregulation. It is a valid goal for trauma therapy and there's a decent amount of medical stigma around it being used as the goal and not a step towards the goal. Many clinicians prioritize the appearance of normalcy over the function of the individual(s).

Fusion is when you go the extra step and take this communication and sharing of memory and experience and as you tore down the dissociative barriers you tear away the division between parts.

A system is made up of parts that make up a whole person and Fusion is the process of all parts uniting to "become" that whole person. It is a valid and normal goal for treatment. It shouldn't be held up as the only legitimate method of healing but it shouldn't be demonized for being an option. I say this because I have seen some people in support communities get real upset when the topic comes up.

The final sequence of the show, prior to Elliot opening his eyes, involves the system at the inner-world conference table agreeing to go through with it and walking towards a cinema screen. Elliot says this will only work if we go too.

The family (and audience) sit down in the movie theatre and memories flood onto the screen and pour out until all experiences and emotions are shared in one pool and Elliot Alderson opens his eyes with all 5(+audience) alters fused into one.

It was almost perfect if only Darlene hadn't have rejected the "not real" brother.

The cinema screen projecting memories, all the thoughts and experiences being shared as the Alderson System accept their parts in the whole and agree to the process? It was a beautiful visualization of a healing journey.

There are imperfect moments here and there. There are great moments I skipped over such as S3E8 (I'm not up for talking about Self-Deletion today) but all in all it's the best depiction of DID for a main character we'll likely get on TV. It's a whole and complete narrative and I love it so much. It makes me feel seen.

[galaxythreads]

i literally don't understand the mcu script writes who've bragged about never having seen the previous movies, like bro??? how do you expect that script to be consistent with the rest of the canon?????????

normally I'd laugh and be like Yeah, anon, these guys are insane, but you have bypassed Mental Breakdown part of my brain and now I am deeply, deeply curious.

---

Why is it that mcu script writers are so proud to be arrogant?

---

Warning for minor language.

So anyway, the person I thought of specifically as being Generally Terrible to the Franchise Lately was Michael Waldron, who wrote Loki, Dr. Strange 2, AND is currently working on Avengers: Secret Wars. (Yay)

So I did a lot of research about where this guy CAME from and how he's impacted everything because I swear to God I'd never heard of him before Loki. And now I see him everywhere, but usually only in loathing.

---

Michael Waldron, according to Wikipedia, is currently 35 as of 2022 and graduated from some Film School i haven't heard of and can't be bothered to remember. He is unmarried(?) and has been active in the film industry since 2014. (8 years, for those of you counting.) He started work on Loki in 2020(? unconfirmed).

The thing that struck me the most was how incredibly short his project list is.

My man has six (6) completed projects. He had three before he started on Loki. And while this doesn't necessarily mean that he's bad, it does show a level of inexperience that baffles me personally.

For comparison, Kenneth Brangah, one of four screenwriters for Thor 1's list is this:

And again, it's not like Brangah's list is enormous, but I do see a lot more experience under their belt before they were approached by MCU rather than Waldron, who had done three projects. Brangah had 20 years in sceenwriting when he went to work for Thor. Waldron had six.

And the amazing thing to me is that even the shows Waldron's executive producer on, he wrote like, two episodes for it? Then he handed it off to other writers. So he doesn't, as far as I can tell and I found, seem to have a lot of experience actually working the writing process, just supervising it.

(I could be wrong)

But here is his latest series Heels, for reference.

the section says "Written by" above the names, I cropped it weirdly.

---

So we have a man who has, at this point, worked six years in the industry. He has worked on three shows. He was the assistant for one show, he did not write in the other one, and he has written for ONE show, total. Produced one show, was the executive producer for ONE show.

What I am seeing here, is, from what I can see, a lack of experience. And it shows. Badly.

So why did Marvel hire him?

----

According to an interview Waldron did, where I'm drawing a great deal of this information, he has always wanted to work for the Big Leagues. He wanted to work on Star Wars mostly, from what I could see, but he didn't think that Marvel would be bad either. When he approached his agent about how to get working for Marvel his agent told him he needed to have written a movie.

Now you're probably wondering. I DID look at that list of projects he's been involved in, and there wasn't a movie.

You are correct!

Waldron wrote a movie called The Worst Guy of All Time and the Girl Who Came to Kill Him. It's on The Black List and was never filmed, to my understanding. But he sure did write that script. And that script, I believe, is where a lot of issues in Loki start to come to light, but we'll get to that in a minute.

"At some point the script made its way to Marvel as they were meeting people for Loki and that got him in the door to pitch and that pitch got him the job."

When Kevin Feige was hiring directors, Waldron walked in and "I thought I was going to get it, but that's my attitude, I guess, hopefully as unarrogantly as that can sound, but I think you got to be confident" (Waldron). Feige was apparently impressed and hired him on.

Which again, a bold choice that COULD have been great, to give a small name the chance to work on a project like this?? Incredible. Just not in this context.

I feel immensely confused that MCU, which is a multi-billion dollar industry, did NOT actually hire someone with years and years of experience like they did for Thor 1. Instead, they went with someone who, personally to me, didn't have enough experience to seem like he knew what he was doing.

So now Waldron is working in MCU. Things are going great for him. He has TWENTY WEEKS to come up with the plot, the scripts, and the story for the entire Loki series.

TWENTY. I cannot emphasize this enough. That is no time at all. They went from blank slate NO IDEAS to a full script in TWENTY. WEEKS.

So HOW then, did Waldron get approached to do Dr. Strange 2?

Apparently, Waldron and Owen Wilson were talking one day and Waldron got asked to do Dr. Strange 2 because it was just as chaotic as Loki was.

WALDRON: Yeah. By that time, I had been able to build the trust. We'd written Loki. Loki was in good shape at that point. It was headed into production. I was getting ready to go to Atlanta. Fortunately, the scripts were in good shape. One of our writers, a close friend of mine, Eric Martin, took my place and went and was the writer on set, which you've got to have, and he did amazing work carrying the show across the finish line, from a writing standpoint. And yeah, it was just, "All right. You did Loki. That was crazy. Come do Dr. Strange. This is going to be crazy, too." That was really fun.

And guess what! This is the instructions he was given FOR Dr. Strange 2.

WALDRON: It is purely, 100%, "Make the most kick ass Dr. Strange movie you can possibly make." There was no, "You got to get here. It's got to fit here."

Which, by the way, Feige stated that he had no plans for the Loki series beyond time travel, and Waldron was instructed to do whatever he felt like. A 100% most kick-ass time travel series, you might say.

---

Okay. So now that we have some background, I'm going to get onto my soapbox and explain why this man was a horrible, horrible directing choice and shows 0 understanding of the characters. This is going to go over Loki and Dr. Strange 2, for reference.

---

LOKI:

The biggest disaster I see with Loki is that the FIRST -- and I emphasize this, the FIRST -- thing that Waldron says about Loki in the interview is this:

Waldron: And I'd written a time travel movie about a character who was kind of a villain, and kind of a sh*thead, like Loki.

I think that the problem that Waldron suffered from the most in Loki is that Waldron didn't want to make a TV series about Loki. He doesn't like the character very much from what I can tell. Obviously, he calls him a sh*thead, but he never has anything nice to say about Loki as a whole either. He doesn't want to talk about Loki as a person, or Loki's story, Waldron wants to talk about the TVA. I seriously cannot emphasize this enough. Not once in the interview did Loki as a person come up. Loki didn't even seem to be a character to him.

The TVA is where Waldron seems like most of his time was spent, because that was, after all, what MCU wanted to do. I honestly, genuinely do not believe this man would have taken the job for Loki if it wasn't about time travel. Because Waldron could focus on the TVA and not Loki. Loki was an irritant he had to occasionally do something with.

And now we get to his script that was pitched to MCU.

Waldron: I sat down and I wrote a script that was a time travel action rom-com, is how I would describe it...because they [Marvel] wanted to make a time travel show. And I'd written a time travel movie about a character who was kind of a villain, and kind of a shithead, like Loki.

And the thing is, to me, sounds a lot like the TV series. A romcom, with time travel, and a sh*thead kind-of villain. That's the series we got. I do wonder how much of this pitch made it into the final series, because this is what Waldron had as a reference. (The director wanted to make a romance from what I understand, that was her vision of the series was this long-winding romance, and it doesn't look like anyone sat down in the writer's room and explained to them that the last thing that would fuel Loki's story forward was romance.)

And the thing is, Waldron doesn't seem to understand Loki as a character at all, if Loki is "kind of a villain and a sh*thead" because yeah, sure, Loki can be considered that, but that's not WHO Loki is. That's what people SEE him as.

Waldron at no point references having read the scripts for the Avengers, Thor 1 or the Dark World inside this interview. This doesn't mean he hasn't seen the movies or read the screenplay, as I often hear said about him, but it is strange to me that he makes so little mention of Loki.

This man is so focused on the TVA. Despite how much of a disaster the TVA ended up being. Here's some notable quotes:

WALDRON: What did I learn? Don't write one about time travel, because it's a pain in the ass.

WALDRON: ...A foundation of what constitutes a broken time law and what doesn't, so that we could then just, which is about Loki breaking a time law, and then you have to move all that stuff as far to the background as humanly possible, because you don't want the audience focusing on the rules of time travel during your show.

I love how "Loki breaking a time law" is supposed to be the center of it all and comes off as an afterthought.

And.

"don't want the audience focusing on the rules of time travel in your show" YEAH. CAUSE IT'S GARBAGE. Maybe if he and the others had had more than a weekend (exaggeration, untrue statement) to work on how time travel works, we'd have something that didn't make me want to scream into a pillow for ten years.

WALDRON:  All over our writer's room, our white boards were just covered in timelines. And it's just, "No, time travel works this way," "No, time travel works that way." That was the great challenge of our show, it was because the Time Variance Authority is an organization that literally manages and polices all of time, we had to define what time is to them and what time is in the MCU. 

I think we can blame this disaster on the Russo brothers. ^

WALDRON: Those are all questions we had to ask and define for ourselves. I think that what's fun about the TVA is it takes something remarkable, like time travel, and really packages it in a very soulless, sort of bureaucratic way. That's what was exciting to me, as a writer, was to take something so magical and just make it utterly soulless. -- So what we have is a writer's room so focused on the TVA that Loki becomes a secondary concern and the lens from which we VIEW the TVA, and then it stops becoming Loki's series and starts to become the TVA's.

But no one seemed to realize this.

And also "That's what was exciting to me...was to take something so magical and make it utterly soulless" is a GREAT way to go about time travel. I also think he applies this to everything and it shows.

So again. Writer focused on the TVA. Appears to me to not care about Loki. Spends a majority of the interview discussing ANYTHING but the main lead of his show. Does not want to talk about growth or character or WHERE LOKI CAME FROM? WHY ARE YOU NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR LEAD?

But that's okay. Because we all know that the TVA was the main character of Loki, don't we?

---

Another interesting point, I thought, was how Waldron writes relationships. I watched a review of his TV series Heels, where the reviewer came to this conclusion about the main characters:

"...And that's just what made this show so fascinating, is that…all these characters, that in some way, treat each other horribly, but in other sense do care about each other, and they're all so entwined with trying to make this thing work."

and that sounded extremely familiar. Because this is the cast of Loki. Waldron seems to have discovered his Character Formula.

Thanks. I hate it.

I just...this man can't have been a bad writer in just Loki right, and this has to be a consistent theme across all his work? And honestly, he's worked on so little that I don't know. I can't have an honest opinion of him. From what he has worked on, terrible character chemistry seems to be the general vibe. Waldron does not seem to know how to write characters that you understand why they like each other.

Hence, Loki being abused by every figure of authority in Loki, and Slyive treating him horribly, but somehow they all like each other in the end.

Because that's Loki. The TVA series, Loki on the side, getting beat up. Because he's bad.

---

DR. STRANGE 2:

Dr. Strange 2 has a similar set of problems. It was written in a rushed time frame, there was no overarching idea for a plot and where the story needed to go, Waldron was just told to do what he wanted, and Waldron didn't seem to be too focused on character arcs.

Wanda, obviously, takes a devastating hit as far as arcs go, but I wouldn't say that Dr. Strange was spared, either. The two of them go through rapid flipflopping in terms of the growth they've incurred throughout the entire MCU, and it shows. Badly.

One thing that Waldron did say that absolutely baffled me was this:

WALDRON: I became good friends with Jac Schaeffer, head writer of WandaVision, while I was writing Loki. Her and I became good pals, because we were kind of in it together and everything...So, I had the benefit of just being able to call Jac and talk to her about Wanda's character and everything, because it was really important to me that I do right by her with what she did with Wanda as a character. And also, with Lizzie, who's a friend of mine. I really worked with her and made sure, "Okay, you guys just did this incredibly intimate show about this character that grew her so much. Let's make sure that we're doing that justice and telling a fulfilling next chapter of that story."

I am so confused. Waldron honestly appears to want to do right by Wanda, but Wanda's growth from WandaVision was destroyed in Dr Strange 2 (and I want to emphasize here that Waldron made no such comment about talking to Tom Hid. or previous directors of Thor movies) so then how did Wanda end up going through such a downward spiral? Waldron wanted to do right by her, and yet???

I think the biggest problem is that Waldron doesn't have to think long term. He's almost not supposed to. He said this:

WALDRON: Well, I think one of the joys of being a writer in the Marvel world is getting to make terrible messes and leave them for your predecessors

WALDRON: For instance, you write the Loki show and then you end up writing Dr. Strange 2, having to clean up your own mess and that can be a lot of fun.

WALDRON: And it will naturally connect to the MCU and it will naturally get the MCU to where it's supposed to go, in some ways that we expect and ways that sometimes you don't expect, and I think that's part of the fun.

Waldron was given the explicit instruction to write a good Dr. Strange movie, but not a good MCU movie. Part of the reason that Phase 4 feels like a bunch of puzzle pieces from different puzzles is that it was designed to be that way. Feige is just going with the flow to see what will happen rather than having any sort of idea of where to take the series.

"It will naturally get MCU to where it's supposed to go" is one of the most hilarious statements I've ever heard, by the way. As someone who has done original writing, and planned out a series, my 200+ page document of planning, background, and worldbuilding laughs at you. (And I still don't have it all finished, because I've had MONTHS to work on this). Maybe. Maybe they want to try and not publish the first draft of phase 4?

Waldron wasn't told to make a movie about Wanda, or how to progress Wanda's character in a way that made sense post her growth. And any problems that were there they blamed on the Darkhold, because it's someone else's problem to clean up. Very neat. Very good planning.

---

So overall, I don't think that MCU writers are proud of their ignorance, I just don't think that they see a problem with it. Writers are told to do what they want to, without there being any plans for character growth or plot advancement, so they do. They put whatever they want out on the sandbox and wait for someone else to clean it up.

Feige seems fully onboard with this plan. So the real problem, I think, is the fact that MCU is expecting writers to come up with complex, interconnected plots in twenty weeks, and the writer's don't have the time to write consistent character arcs, they just tell a flashy story because at least you get something out there.

I honestly don't imagine Secret Wars will be any different. Waldron has shown that he really really enjoys writing stories, but not characters. This is not to say that we should blame all of this on Waldron, because I don't think it's really his fault. I think it's more the fact that he's the byproduct of a system set to fail.

The writer's ignorance is someone else's problem in MCU, apparently. But don't worry. This will naturally get MCU where it's supposed to go. Just tilt your head and squint a little. Then close one eye. And then the other. Now you can see what brilliance Phase 4 is clearly.

[elkaseltzer]

sat myself down and reread the (current) entirety of @keelywolfe 's Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship

and, while i would gladly do so simply because it is an amazing series (seriously please read), i did this with a purpose in mind! and what is this purpose? simple. i made an entire fucking calendar to see how many days had actually passed in the series.

BEHOLD! THE CALENDAR:

Day 1:

#1 Marked As Present (Afternoon)

#2 (Un)Healthy Boundaries (Evening)

Day 2:

#3 The Late, Late, Way Too Late Show (Midnight)

#4 Feeding Frenzy (Noon)

#5 Eating Out (Evening)

Day 3:

#6 A Prelude to Coffee (Morning)

#7 For Want of a Donut (Late Morning)

#8 An Unexpected Intervention (Early Afternoon)

#9 The Cat's Pajamas (Evening)

Day 4:

#10 Bumping Gums (Morning)

#11 Sketch Comedy (Morning)

#12 Rosies are Red (Morning through Evening)

Day 5:

#13 Boys Will Be Boys (Morning)

#14 Radio-Like Intermission (Afternoon)

#15 Egg On Your Face (Afternoon)

#16 Gone Blotto at the Juice Joint (Afternoon through Evening)

Day 6:

#17 Without A Paddle (Morning)

#18 Father/Daughter Road Trips Into the Unknown (Morning through Evening)

#19 Dizzy Up The Boy (Evening)

Day 7:

#20 Staircase Wit (Midnight through noon(?))

#21 Two Steps Out From Tomorrowland (Noon?)

#22 A Comforting Interlude (I think its noon through evening??)

#23 Please Exit Through the Gift Shop 1 (Evening)

Day 8:

#23 Please Exit Through the Gift Shop 2 (Midnight)

#23 Please Exit Through the Gift Shop 3 (Around 3 AM)

#24 Take My Breath Away 1 (Morning)

#24 Take My Breath Away 2 (Morning)

#25 In Cautious Tones (Evening)

#28 And Now For A Commercial Break (Evening)

Day 9:

#26 An Amateur on the Tightrope at the Three-Ring Circus (Midnight)

#27 A Little Night Music (Midnight)

#29 Leave My Heart With Gordon Ramsey (Morning through Evening)

#30 On the Edge of a Precipice (Evening)

#31 I'll Fly Away (Evening)

Day 10:

#32 Just like Pagliacci Did (Morning)

#33 On The Devil's Radio 1 (Noon)

#33 On The Devil's Radio 2 (Noon)

#34 Gut-Bucket Blues (Noon)

#35 Scavenger Hunt (i have lots of stars, but i'm not the sky) 1 (Late Afternoon)

"why would you do this"

SIMPLE!

because i can. and i hope someone enjoys this information.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

The Lamb, the Light, and Life in the Heavenly City

Have you ever imagined a world independent of material comforts? A place where ailments are non-existent, and rest is not required? Can we conceive a reality where our largest desires are fulfilled in the company of the Lord alone?

And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, because the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its lamp. — Revelation 21:23

In the glorious world beyond, the inhabitants are free from all earthly necessities. There is no need for clothes, as their white robes remain forever pure and unspoiled. There are no ailments to cure, for there, no one proclaims, "I am sick." They do not require sleep to restore their strength. Day and night, they praise Him in His holy temple. The fleeting comforts of earth are not a requirement for happiness in this heavenly city. The presence of the Lord Himself is enough to satisfy the most profound of desires. In this divine place, there is no need for teachers. Although they surely discuss the things of God amongst themselves, they are taught directly by the Lord.

In the world we know, we rely on perishable food and clothing, subject to decay; but in that heavenly city, all sustenance is found God. There will be no need to draw water from a well; instead, we will drink directly from the Source of living water.

The heavenly messengers will need not bring blessings from God, for we will see Him face to face. What a blessed time it will be when we rise above every secondary cause and rest solely in the strength of God! What a glorious moment when God and not His creations--the Lord and not His works--become our daily joy. At this time, our souls will attain the apex of bliss.

Father, Illuminate our path with Your divine light; May we seek to rely more and more on Your providence. Guide us to a deeper understanding of Your Word; Nurture within us a yearning for eternal bliss.

Questions for Reflection

How can we cultivate a sense of independence from material comforts in our daily lives?

What practices might help us to remember and appreciate the non-material blessings we receive?

How does the description of God's city change your perspective on earthly relationships and our dependence on them?

If you lived in a place where there was no sickness or tiredness, how would your life and your priorities change?

What might "leaning upon the Lord alone" look like in your daily life?

How can we focus more on God and less on His creations in our everyday life?

If we were to rely solely on God for sustenance, how might that change our behaviors and attitudes?

What does the idea of "drinking from the source of living water" mean to you personally?

If we can imagine a place where we are directly taught by God, how might that influence our approach to learning and seeking knowledge now?

What does it mean to you to "see God face to face"?

How can you apply the concept of resting solely in the strength of God in your current circumstances?

How can you cultivate a longing for eternal bliss within your heart and mind?

Supporting Scriptures

Isaiah 24:23: The moon will be confounded and the sun will be ashamed; for the LORD of Hosts will reign on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem, and before His elders with great glory.

Isaiah 60:19-20: No longer will the sun be your light by day, nor the brightness of the moon shine on your night; for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your splendor.

Ezekiel 48:35: The perimeter of the city will be 18,000 cubits, and from that day on the name of the city will be: THE LORD IS THERE.”

Malachi 4:2: “But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings, and you will go out and leap like calves from the stall.

John 8:12: Once again, Jesus spoke to the people and said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.”

2 Corinthians 4:6: For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

1 John 1:5: And this is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you: God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

[cameronspecial]

Secrets In Tangled (Part 2)

Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.3K

Summary: Y/N has been living at Lockwood & Co. for three months now and she keeps accidentally revealing some of her secrets.

Masterlist

Y/N has been living at 35 Portland Row for three months now and she really feels as though she found her place amongst the other inhabitants of Lockwood & Co. The work she does as their talentless assistant may be a little menial, but she enjoys the fact that she gets paid for a job she can do with minimal brain power. Her thoughts can wander as she helps get the laundry done or cleans up the massive mess that George left in the kitchen. She is currently in the basement filing some paperwork. The others had gone to the library to do some research, so she could blast the music from the radio as loud as she wanted. Y/N sways along to the music as she dances from the desk to the filling cabin. She is so caught up in her air guitar solo that she doesn’t notice Lockwood has come down the spiral staircase. He watches the scene with a smirk on his face and leans against the handrail. He gives a little chuckle as she finishes up her little dance. Y/N jumps at the sounds and turns towards him.

“Boss, you scared me. At least, announce that you are coming down when I am home alone, please,” she exclaims with her hand to her heart to try to steady its beat. Lockwood descends the rest of the stairs, “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to let you know that we were back and to ask if there were any calls that came in while we were gone.” She puts away the file in her hand. “Nope, no calls since you left.” Lockwood nods his head and throws his thumb over his shoulder to indicate upstairs, “Well, George is starting dinner if you want to come up. Those files can wait another day.” Y/N arranges the rest of the files into a neat pile on the desk to be arranged later and heads towards the staircase. Lockwood allows her to go up the stairs first. He gently lays a hand on her lower back and he helps guide her upstairs. As they head toward the kitchen, he gently rubs his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion. 

Lockwood is always doing things like this for her. He finds some way to touch her in some way (consensually, of course). He’d brush her hair out of her face while they flipped through tabloids and his hand would always linger just a little bit longer on her face than he needed to. He would bring her little gifts. He lets it slide when she doesn’t finish her work for the day even though a normal boss would chastise her. It made Y/N’s heart swell with joy. It made it impossible for her not to fall for him and she just wished he felt the same way about her as she does for him. 

They settle themselves at the table with Lucy as they watch George cook. “How was your day, Y/N?” Lucy asks, drawing a little sketch of a bunny on the thinking cloth. Y/N gets up to turn the kettle on to make tea for everyone, “It was good. I did some dusting and then just filed last week's paperwork away. I’m going to the shops tomorrow, so let me know what you guys want.” She moves to get a bowl for George to put the cooked food into, but she accidentally drops it. The bowl shatters into tiny pieces and she feels embarrassed. She kneels down to pick up the pieces. Her embarrassment causes her to be clumsy and she cuts herself on one of the ceramic pieces. The loud yip she lets out causes Lockwood to jump to his feet. He rushes to her side and looks at her hand. “Here, let me take care of that,” he offers, cradling her hand into his bigger one. He leads her to the sink to get it washed off and then gets a bandage from the first aid kit under the sink. “There you go. All done. I’m no doctor, but I would say it’s as good as new,” he tells her. He lifts her finger up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to the pad of her finger which is now bandaged. 

Y/N’s cheeks heat up and she turns her head shyly away from his prying eyes. George and Lucy quickly watch the two in front of them give each other googly eyes. It was quite obvious to both of their friends that they were both head of heels for each other; however, Y/N is clueless because she just thinks it’s how friends look at each other and Lockwood believes that he isn’t good enough for her. The pair quickly separate and go to sit in their respective chairs beside each other. “Dinner is served,” George announces, setting the bowl he retrieved himself now filled with food onto the table. 

———

“Lucy, you need to move your back leg before the front leg in your gathering step. It’s why you are having a hard time shuffling forward.” Currently, Lucy is doing some solo drills with the training air jets, while Y/N is finishing up the filling she didn’t do yesterday. Lucy pauses the machine for a second, turning toward the other girl. “What do you mean?” she inquiries, giving her friend a confused look. Y/N walks over to the empty area and demonstrates what she was explaining, “Makes sense now?” Lucy nods her head and follows Y/N’s instructions. Again, Lockwood lurks on the staircase, watching Y/N help Lucy train. “I didn’t know you knew how to fence,” he observes, continuing down the stairs. Y/N faces Lockwood and her cheeks heat up at being caught, “I may have dabbled a little bit with it growing up.” Lockwood unsheaths the rapier at his side and swings it around a little. “Care for a friendly match.” She nods her head and picks up one of the extra rapiers they have. 

They both get into position and begin. This and martial arts are her element. They are the only time she feels she can understand a human’s body language correctly. Y/N decides to begin with a simple lunge, but when Lockwood goes to counter the thrust, she quickly changes gears to cut around his move. She catches his point, and then, in preparation to make the cut, she keeps the point away by rolling her guard up. She uses the full rotation of her rapier to strike after moving past the point. Her final move is to slice as she cuts. To gain back priority, Lockwood parries her attack and moves her backwards closer to the wall. To get back the advantage, she feints an attack and quickly changes course when he goes on the defence. The only problem is that he catches her change in direction and uses as much force to disarm her. Her rapier goes flying in the other direction and he moves in to touch her with his point so he can win, but she quickly dodges his arm. 

She quickly changes from fencing mood to self-defence, so she grabs his arm and pulls it past her shoulder. She twists her body so that her back is pressed up against his chest and flips him over her shoulder onto the floor. Before she did the flip, she squeezed his wrist so that he dropped his own rapier. She goes down to straddle his waist and pins both of his hands above his head. Her face is so close to his that she can feel his breath on her skin. She knows he can thrust his hips to cause her to face plant into the floor above him, but something tells her that he doesn’t know that. “I don’t think that was a fencing technique,” Lockwood laughs, he tries to get up but she doesn’t let him. Instead, she just stares into his eyes. They sparkle in a special way when he laughs. 

Lucy is quick to snap them out of their moment, “How are you so good at fencing and, from what it looks like, self-defence?” Y/N looks up at Lucy and quickly gets off of Lockwood. She doesn’t know what to say that wouldn’t give away her secret. “Uh, I just pick it up from watching competitions and stuff on TV. I’m going to go to the shops now before they close,” she answers, going up the stairs without another word. Lucy turns towards Lockwood, “There is no way she learnt how to do all of that so well by just watching people. She doesn’t have a talent, so why would she learn how to fence?” “I don’t know, Luce. Must be a part of her secret childhood,” Lockwood offers. He stares at the stairs Y/N had just used to leave and Lucy can see the amazement he felt for her in his eyes. 

———

Y/N watches from her bed as Lucy applies a little bit of makeup for Lockwood & Co’s staff dinner at a fancy restaurant. Lucy notices the girl’s curiosity about her process and turns towards her. “Do you want me to do your makeup?” Y/N turns her head to pretend she isn’t staring. She nods her head, a little embarrassed by her lack of knowledge, and goes to sit on Lucy’s bed beside her. “Okay, I don’t have the right shade for your foundation and stuff, but I can do some eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner and some lipstick if you want. Maybe next time we go to the shops, we can get you your own stuff and I’ll teach you.” 

Y/N isn’t too sure what any of those things mean but nods at Lucy’s comment. Y/N didn’t have any reason to learn how to do her own makeup because she never had anywhere to dress nicely. Lucy approaches Y/N with an eyeshadow pallet and applies a light amount of light pink onto the girl’s eyes. She curls her lashes to apply the mascara and gives her a cat-eye with the eyeliner. She moves on to Y/N’s lips, opting for a light pink glossy lip gloss that would match Y/N’s eyeshadow. 

“Voilà. Perfect. What do you think?” Y/N turns towards the mirror and smiles at her reflection. Lucy did an amazing job. “This is absolutely brilliant. Thank you,” Y/N thanks, giving the other girl a massive hug. The girls are now finished getting ready so they go downstairs to join the boys. Lockwood spots Y/N and he is put in a trans. The makeup accentuates her beauty. His eyes are instantly drawn to her lips. He wonders what flavour her lipgloss is and if he will ever get a taste of it. George notices Lockwood’s face and his turns to annoyed, “Would you stop staring? You are going to burn a hole into Y/N’s head if you do.” Lockwood shakes out of his spell. “Don’t we look lovely this evening, ladies,” he quips with his signature smirk. Lucy just waves her hand dismissively and Y/N turns away to hide the way her mouth turns into a massive smile. “Let’s go to dinner, shall we?” Lucy demands, walking out the door without waiting for the others.

———

George is again pulling an all-nighter to do some of his research about the problem. He has his books and notes spread out across the table and he is hunched over them. Y/N comes down to make herself some tea to help her go to sleep. She walks over behind him and reads his notes over his shoulder. “You want to know how they figured out that silver can stop the visitors. My mu- uh, my mentor said that Rotwell had been randomly throwing objects at the visitors and Fittes noticed that certain objects would cause the visitor to dispel completely while others don’t,” she starts lecturing. “She put two and two together and then acted on that hunched. She was lucky enough to find a silver jewellery box in the bedroom that they were in and she put the source in the box. And bada bing bada boom, they figured out how to contain a source.”

He looks up at her in confusion and leaves through a few of his books, “How do you know that? It doesn’t say that anywhere in the books that I’ve read.” Y/N realizes her mistake quickly and has to think quickly about what to say. “Umm, my tutor was really into the history of the problem. He had a chance to interview Fittes and asked. I’m going to go to bed, now. Goodnight,” she says, going back upstairs to her room. George stares at the doorway she just left through in wonder. Who was Y/N Y/L/N? How does she know so much about the problem? Why would she have tutors if she was able to go to school instead of working for an agency? He is left with all of his questions as he keeps working through the night. 

[mapiforpresident]

Prompt List

Please send requests!! Anything is welcome but here are some prompts if you don't know what you want to request.

I'll write for almost any player and it can be romantic, platonic or child!reader if you'd like.

Can be player x reader, player x player, or player x reader x player.

Send the player(s) and the prompt number and anything else you want me to add. If its crossed out then someone has already requested that number and I am currently working on it.

Prompts: 1. Falling in love with a stranger 2. Unexpected first kiss 3. Sunrise kisses on a secluded beach 4. Falling asleep in each other's arms 5. Not so subtle 6. Insecurities and jealousy 7. Forgetting an important date 8. Calming presence 9. Family day out 10. Passing out scare 11. Sick and dramatic 12. Team bonding night 13. Mountain cabin getaway 14. Cry and make up 15. Beach picnic proposal 16. Childhood sweathearts 17. Stealing clothes 18. Spanish or dating 19. Friends to lovers 20. Attempting to cook together 21. "I think the bone is broken." 22. "Just kiss me already." 23. "Are you proposing to me right now?" 24. "I thought you were gone?" 25. "This is totally not awkward." 26. "I think you used google translate wrong" 27. "Why are you laughing?" 28. "Stay with me tonight." 29. "I can't do this anymore." 30. "You look like Hell." 31. "I can't forgive you." 32. "This kid is definitely yours" 33. "You're hands are always so cold." 34. "At least I'll have a cool scar if I survive." 35. “I don’t like the way they looked at you.” 36. "Good morning, love." 37. “Hey, hey, shhh. Shhhhh. You’re ok, c’mere” 38. "I have something to tell you, please don't freak out." 39. "This isn't what it looks like." 40. "Oh my god, you're in love with her."

[akiology]

In the Dead of the Night || Part 2

You are married to two of the most infamous information brokers in Tokyo.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Word Count: 885 Pairing: Akira Kurusu x Reader x Goro Akechi Note: sorry this took so long!! thank u to everyone reading tho :) also i need to replace my keyboard switches, so tell me if there are any typos! have a nice day everyone !!

You wake up, earlier than usual. The moon is still shining in all its glory. On your left is Goro. He was sleeping on his back, with a face mask on. However, his hand is intertwined with yours. On your right is Akira, who is completely entangled with you. He is snoring a bit, and it is honestly adorable.

You turn to your right, where the bedside table was, and see that it is currently 4:35 am. Still early, and you probably have time to prepare breakfast.

You sit up, well atleast try to, but Akira keeps you on your back.

"Don't leave me..." he says, sounding as if he was about to cry if you actually did. He tightens his grip on your waist, and tries to pull you as close to him as he can. Goro, turns a bit on his side just enough to face you but not so much that his mask will be ruined, puts an arm over your stomach just below Akira's grip. He mumbled something incoherent.

"I am just gonna make breakfast," you try to comfort the men beside you. Goro grumbled, Akira whined.

You decide to accept your fate, after all it's not like this is a bad place to be stuck in. It is the best place, actually. Your husbands are always out because of various 'businesses' and meetings they have to do. While they never explain the nitty-gritty of their work, you know how dangerous it is.

Every time they go out, you always say a silent prayer. While you may not be a believer, you hope that there is someone listening. You hope that someone out there, if such person, entity, or creature exist, they protect your husbands and let them go home in one piece.

You remember, years ago, when you first met them.

/./

"You know this is the third month, right?"

"I know, I just need more time!"

"Well, I don't have it! Get out! I am running a business, and you are bankrupting me!" Your landlord shouts from behind the closed door, rattling the locked doorknob. You are visibly shaking as you try to get as many clothes and items you can get, and you can feel tears welling up behind your eyes.

CRASH! The sound of the door being forcibly opened will forever be ingrained in your memories. "GET OUT!" he grabbed your arm, and is practically shoving you outside the door.

You had nowhere to go.

You do not have contact with any of your family members, and you do not have any close friends to ask help from.

It was just you.

You walk down the street, with no destination in mind. You are hoping that something will fall from the sky, perhaps money. Money is preferred. Instead, you see a bar, and decided that the smartest thing to do with your remaining money was to drink.

When you entered, jazz music was playing. The lights were dimmed, and there were a decent amount of people. You quickly sat down in one of the tables near the entrance, a little isolated from the rest of the people.

"Ahem," you look up to see a buff man looking down at you. "Why are you alone there, you little thing?"

Another man joins him, "Why don't you let us accompany you, sweet cheeks?"

You shake your head in disagreement, "No thank you."

"Eh? You think you were giving us a choice?"

"Sorry, not happening. A pretty little thing like you should not be left alone."

They start getting too close for comfort, but paused when they felt someone grabbing them.

"They said no." And when they turned around, you were met with the most gorgeous men you have ever seen.

Who would've thought that those gorgeous men would eventually be called your husbands?

/./

You were pulled out of your thoughts with the sound of Akira's 'work' phone ringing. Goro quickly stood up and removed his face mask, while Akira just stirred as if it was the first alarm and he could sleep for five minutes more. You try to shake him, signaling to answer the phone. Goro slapped his leg, and Akira finally stood up from that.

He finally answers, and his eyes dart between you and Goro. Akira reaches for your hand and squeezes it, a silent "sorry" being passed from him to you. It seems like it is time for 'work'.

"Got it," is the only things he utters throughout the duration of the call, and finally ends it.

"My angel, I," he starts but you are quick to comfort him. You give him a quick kiss on the lips and gave him a smile. "It's alright. Just please be safe."

"Of course," he smiles, and nuzzles your nose, "I am going home to you. Always."

Goro clears his throat, "What about me bunny?"

Akira sticks his tongue out, and pulls you close to him. Goro scoffed and crawls toward you, stopping until your faces are just inches apart. You give him a kiss, as well. "Please come home safe and sound."

Goro gave a small smile, "Anything for you, my sweetheart."

After a quick change of clothes, they are out the door.

One more time, you clasp your hands together and say a silent prayer.

[therobotmonster]

My Retro-Cartoon Ramblings, Part 1

I am bored, so I'm copying an old twitter thread to a series of posts here. Bailing out some of the better content before Elon sinks that bitch, as it were. Maybe give ya something to watch during the strikes. Some improvements and edits may be made.

80s Cartoons Tiered and commented on in no order in particular, but starting with an obvious high-ranking contender, Before he was solemn robojesus martyrdad, Optimus Prime played b-ball, called decepticons "boobies" and okayed building robot dinosaurs for… fun, I guess?

What I'm saying is its goofier and more fun than you remember. It also had a way of feeling bigger than it was. Fun fact! I knew I wanted to create toys and kidvid the second I heard the metallic clunk of Sludge's torso being dropped on his legs.

It's also about 35% jank by volume. Just assume that's true for everything here. Animation errors, coloring errors, voice errors, plotting errors, conceptual errors, its all there. Sometimes all in one scene.

Next up, Masters of the Universe. One of the first of the new toy commercial cartoons (Which I call "AdvertToons"), and a weird artifact in and of itself. Nonviolent to the point of comedy, with a weird mix of sinister-sounding lore and super-cuddly after-school special morality.

It's a show where a creature which is explicitly stated to be a demon can be redeemed because Orko wants to be his friend. It feels like an artifact from another dimension, being one of (if not the) last all-US produced animated series (for awhile at least.)

It's one of the few shows I recommend everyone watch at least a couple of episodes. Not so much because it's good or holds up, but just because it's so uniquely of its time.

ALSO, if you're looking to do animation with a small team... you could probably pull off a series like motu on youtube with a team of half a dozen if you used all the same tricks with current tech.

(continued in part 2)

[f1-ferraero]

Your analysis is very informative and interesting!!!

I too am looking forward to seeing what the imola upgrades bring.

Correct me if I'm wrong but did ferrari not say they were going to upgrade the floor in miami? Did I hear wrong or plans changed or smth?

Also dis the track temperature in miami have a great impact on ferrari tyre performance? And will imola being colder bring issues like china?

I hope I don't come across as irritating i just really appreciate your takes😅

Hi anon! You're definitely not irritating! I love receiving asks and being able to discuss/rant about all kinds of f1 related stuff. You're very welcome here! And I'm sorry that my answer took a while :)

Floor in Miami:

Yes. After the team's struggles in China they made the decision to bring the floor early, hoping that it might solve their issues with tyre warming. However, a sprint weekend isn't ideal for bringing upgrades and the tyre data from the sim made Ferrari confident enough to revert to the original Imola plan.

Track temperature and tyre performance:

The reported issue in China was that the Ferrari drivers spent about 20 laps (of a 35/39 lap stint) trying to get heat into their hard tyres (track temperatures slightly below 30°c), but when they finally got them into the right window temperature wise they were worn down/past their peak and gave no real performance gains. The mediums were better, but not great.

It's necessary here to make the difference clear between tyre degradation and tyre wear. Degradation is caused by the rubber gradually losing its grippy properties as the polymers break down or deform after continuous heat cycles, which makes them slower as they have less grip. Tyre wear can be better explained as damage or deterioration of the tyre itself. The wear is usually visible through graining or blistering. Degradation can often lead to tyre wear, as sliding and wheel spin caused by low grip will cause more deterioration.

Shanghai is generally a track that is quite harsh on the tyres: asphalt abrasion is very high (a high level of abrasion tends to lead to higher tyre wear), as is the overall tyre stress, the braking and the lateral forces caused by the track layout. As a mouldy cherry on top, asphalt grip is very low, and even lower than usual because of the low temperatures.

This means tyres get worn down quite quickly, especially if they are cold like Ferrari's were. Most teams were therefore on a 2-3 stop strategy, with the only exception being Ferrari and Norris on a 1 stop

Track characteristics of Shanghai:

Miami however is much kinder on the tyres: asphalt abrasion is low, and stress, braking, lateral and grip are all at a medium level. With the high temperatures (track temperatures of 40-45°c) Ferrari had little problem getting the tyres into the right window. Miami was a 1 stop for almost everyone. So to answer part of your question, yes. Compared to China the temperatures and track characteristics of Miami did have a big positive impact on Ferrari's tyre performance (most obvious in qualifying), but at the same time none of the other teams were disadvantaged by it so Ferrari didn't gain anything beyond fixing their own issues.

Track characteristics of Miami:

Imola is predicted to be colder than Miami but warmer than Shanghai at around 20-25°c air temperature, so I'd estimate the track temperatures to be somewhere around 30-35°c (but don't quote me on this lol). Even with the current version of the sf-24 this wouldn't be a repeat of China. While asphalt grip is the same, the asphalt abrasion, lateral forces, traction and tyre stress are all lower than Shanghai which will cause less tyre wear. The downforce of Imola is also a bit higher, which helps put more temperature into the tyres. The point I'm trying to make is that yes, temperature definitely matters, but what made China such a shit show was an unfortunate combination of temperature, track characteristics and bad setup choices by Ferrari. This is unlikely to happen in Imola.

But most importantly, Ferrari will be introducing their first upgrade package next race. Of course, this package isn't centered around the tyre heating issues as these were discovered while the development was already underway, but they've had many weeks now to either tweak it or to include upgrades that will target this issue. Regardless, the floor will most likely at the very least improve it, so I wouldn't be too worried about the temperatures at Imola! Hope this answers your question!

Track characteristics of Imola:

[lovemanheim]

Please send requests in! I have no inspo currently!

Requests are open for the following people/characters

1. Wally Clark

2. Ben Plunkett

3. Nico Alexander

4. Zed Necrodopolis

5. Rafe Cameron

Things I will write

1. Fluff

2. Angst

Male X fem reader

Things I will not write

1. Smut

2. Anything dark

Fem X fem

Male X male

(I just can’t lol idk why)

Prompt list you can request from

1. “I love you, but please stop whatever it is you’re doing”

2. “STOP BEING SO CUTE, ITS NOT FAIR”

3. “You’re an idiot” “yeah but I’m your idiot”

4. “Make me”

5. “You make me so unbelievably happy”

6. “You didn’t call, you didn’t next, nothing”

7. “You know we’re meant to be”

8. “ you’re seriously like a man-child”

9. “It was a joke, baby. I swear”

10. “ mine”

11. “Are you even listening to me?”

12. “Is that my shirt?”

13. “ You’re kinda cute, you know… only kinda”

14. “Just marry me already”

15. “It’s too cold! Come back”

16. “Gimme a kiss, my love”

17. “Hold my hand” “what?” “ just hold it”

18. “Can we get a dog?” “We have a dog” “ I know. I want another”

19. “She did it!” “No he did!”

20. “Oh shut up and kiss me already”

21. “Wait a minute, are you jealous?”

22. I never thought I’d find a love like this”

23. Leave me alone, the only thing I’m embarrassed by is your lame attempt at being cute!”

24. “Baby, please let me in. Im sorry”

25. “Too bad, baby. You’re stuck with me”

26. “You’re honestly really freaking cute when you’re jealous”

27. “Can I Kiss you?”

28. “Wait, you’re leaving already?”

29. “Why am I always the one carrying you?”

30. “ okay, what are you doing in a Spider-Man onesie, in my bedroom?”

31. “You make me feel safe”

32. “PILLOW FIGHT”

33. “God, you’re beautiful. My pretty girl”

34. “No, you can’t get up! You’re my prisoner for the day!”

35. “I had a rough day and all I want right now is to cuddle with my girl”

36. “God you’re cute” “you think I’m cute?”

37. “ you’re legally obligated to keep holding me”

38. “Sweet girl. Am I your lock screen?” “You werent supposed to see that”

39. “Do you like it?”

40. “I’ve never seen you so nervous”

41. “In our defense, we were left unsupervised”

42. “I can’t help it, you’re fun to mess with”

43. “ Don’t shut me out, please”

44. “Stay away from me”

45. “I saw that, you totally just checked me out”

46. “I literally cannot say no to you. It’s impossible”

47. “Forgive me, please. I need you”

48. “Hey— look at me. You can talk to me”

49. “Did you just flinch away from me?”

50. “Do it. I dare you”