#its honestly a blessing its being released in time

[dsumpsbluey]

Unofficial Bluey Timeline: Part II

Welcome to another post of my Unofficial Bluey Timeline. This part will be focusing on "The Weekend" through "Hotels". I will also be highlighting the recently found 2017 pilot of the show, since it pretty much is plot-for-plot a remake of one of these episodes (P.S. if you haven't done so, always read the alt text).

**But first, an update regarding my last post. While making the videos for this week, I stumbled upon a program called HandBrake, an open-source video transcoder. This was because the episode backups I mentioned were MKV files and couldn't properly work on my editing app. There, I found that it could do way more than simply convert file types, but also change resolution, apply video filters, and much more; so I found myself experimenting with how to enhance my copies, especially for the season 1 episodes. To keep it short, the program made the episodes better presentable (no distracting interlacing!), and I'll likely use them for any future video uses.**

So, without further ado, lets get in.

The Weekend - Episode 6 (and the pilot)

Bluey scams Bandit into buying magical statues.

Debuts and Details:

The walking leaf (which as of last week's recent ep "Slide", is apparently named "Leaficus") makes its grand debut.

Being as this was built off the pilot of the same name, the animation moves similar despite changes in the characters' models. This is why the episode feels janky and off-model compared to the rest of the season, b/c it is.

In the pilot, Bingo sleeps on a separate room opposite to Bluey's. While this would switch to both sharing the room in the final show, that exact room wouldn't show up in another episode until "Bedrooms" 3 years later. It's there where we learn that both girls used to occupy the room as babies before moving into their current room, which somehow lines up with the pilot (Bingo, the youngest one, occupying the leftmost room).

It would take ages dissecting every single change here, so I made a quick comparison vid of some key moments.

(Pilot video came from original Streamable upload [Just learned it was taken down :(]; Final video came from Internet Archive, as I hadn't set up HandBrake to clean my copy atm)

Differences in Character pilot design: Bluey: minimal differences aside from different orientation of back spots (They're not Disney-shaped, as I call it) Bingo: Snout shape and size bigger; Dark orange top is now two round spots on each side; back has many spots instead of just one. Bandit: Only left side of head is dark (reminiscent of a spot); no tan belly. Has the more drastic design differences of all. Chilli: Her dark brown spot is often not present, or swapping around sides. In the final episode, her brown spot overlaps her snout, other than the other way around.

What a weird way to make an episode about the weekend. This episode doesn't really rely on plot, and just shows us a glimpse of the Heeler family, which is still neat. As for the placement of this episode on the timeline, by rule the final version of the episode is considered canon as opposed to the pilot. Despite both version's plots being very similar, and the separate room pointed out earlier, it doesn't seem fair that an older version of an episode would be in the timeline, as it doesn't fit with the rest of the series.

Favorite part: The walking leaf scene, I quote it everyday w/ an exaggerated accent.

BBQ - Episode 7

Bingo prepares a pepper capsicum salad.

Debuts and Details:

This serves as the introduction of Uncle Stripe (Bandit's brother), and his side of the family, featuring Aunt Trixie, and cousins Muffin and Socks.

There is a mention of a "Auntie Mary" and her salad dressing recipe, but she is never mentioned in another episode again.

This is the first of many episodes that have been altered in international releases. For this, every mention of 'capsicum' is replaced with 'pepper'; no significant cut of scenes occurs, as mouth flaps were the only aspect changed between versions.

Streamable link, cuz I just learned there's a one video limit

The intro scene with Bluey and Bandit prepping the grill serves as the first of a recurring element of the two copying each other, either through movement or verbal.

5 cans and a water bottle were destroyed during the episode.

Bingo learns how to turn on the hose

Chill episode, you get to feel the struggles of Bingo wanting to relax, while also tasked with creating the best pepper capsicum salad imaginable.

Favorite part: When Bingo is getting the salad dressing. The scream, in particular, gets me everytime.

Fruitbat - Episode 8

Bluey learns to dream in order to become a fruit bat.

Debuts and Details:

This marks the debut of Mackenzie, his dad, as well as Rocko

This is the first episode to span multiple days, going from night to next morning (2 days)

The stairway wall has no changes from its last appearance, however the fridge is reoriented to how it was in "Keepy Uppy"

Bluey is revealed to like fruit salad.

Fun episode. However, the main plot doesn't exactly start until 4 minutes in. Wish there was more to the dream than just flying and eating fruit, though; perhaps something more imaginative.

Favorite part: Bingo's iconic shot of her sleeping.

Horsey Ride - Episode 9

Bluey and the gang ride their dad's as horses.

Debuts and Details:

Polly Puppy, Bluey's special toy makes its debut

Bandit and Stripe play as Gallahop, and Sparkles, and they are technically married at the end.

There's what seems to be a porch in the backyard, that I swear never shows up ever again (unless it does, in which I've haven't seen it)

Universal Rule #1 of imaginary play - Animals can't talk; there is a clear violation by both horses during the wedding scene

Fun episode, nothing to say other than flirty Bandit is my favorite screencap.

Hotel - Episode 10

Bandit books a room at the Heeler Hotel.

Debuts and Details:

Bingo is Slobber-Dobber, I guess? Aside from that, there's really nothing else to bring up

The episode, while being fun, doesn't really have much to talk about, timeline wise and in general. It's not bad per se, but it's very minimalistic.

Favorite part: Bluey smacking Bingo's head on the bed.

With that, part II is complete. While there were some interesting details with this batch of eps, they haven't caused too much of a dent in terms of the timeline. Surely, next week, we get some nifty details for our timeline. As always, leave any comments about details I may have missed, and I'll see you next week.

[rizsu]

project: i'm going insane suna rintarō.

sum. when a project brings together two students & possible crushes. ( no part two sry !! )

a quiet room with only the sweet melody of birds singing tales as the sun kisses your skin. ah, how sweet. it's such a blessing—being lost in paradise as you gaze upon the dancing flowers. truly a magicial scenery! oh, how divine. how divine it is indeed—

“students are to pair up with their deskmate for the project.”

right, you're still in class. reality is truly a pain. you really could've been listening to the sweet melody of birds but instead you got the sweet melody of hell (school).

you haven't turned to face your partner yet. you're not gonna face suna rintaro right now—especially not after he witnessed you graciously trip on nothing this morning.

“so are you gonna talk or are you gonna continue looking at me every five seconds from the side of your eye?” suna asked, tilting his head into his palm while he knocks his pen against the desk.

“i'd rather not honestly.”

“i don't care about your excellent fall this morning, y/n.”

that got it. that sentence awards itself as the sentence that made you whip your head to suna.

“don't spread lies. anyways, what're we gonna do for that project?”

raising his eyebrow, suna thinks. what are you guys going to do actually? he's sure that he'd forget about the whole project after three days.

“i dunno,” he shrugs, typing in random numbers into his calculator before continuing, “here, save my number we can talk more about it later.”

leaning into his side of the desk, you secretly pull your phone out from your bag, trying to save his contact as fast as you can before your homeroom teacher turns back facing the class.

“why the fuck did you save me as ‘some hoe’?!”

“mind your business.”

ಇ. AT HOME

it's 7 pm. you're just coming out of the shower, patting your face with a towel before reaching for your phone.

i should text suna, you think. double tapping your screen, you eyes widen slightly in surprise. it seems as though the other party had the same plans as you did.

snickering at the spammed messages, you opened his chat.

“what a fucking loser.” giggling at his text, you place your phone down going back to finishing your nightly routine.

ಇ. NEXT DAY

if there's one word to describe your mood right now it'll be annoyed. it's far too early for anything nor do you have the time and patience to talk with anyone at 06:45 am. releasing your earbuds from its jail, you put both on at max volume and try to continue your previous slumber.

“no way you're sleeping right now.” a soft voice speaks, the owner of the voice wraps his palm around your neck squeezing it a little.

you don't respond. you know what they say, don't respond to the devil!

oh but that doesn't stop suna. not at all! who is he if not your number one bully? suna knows your aware that he's next to you so how dare you ignore him! clicking his tongue, the boy pulls out one of your buds and places it in his ear before sitting down copying the exact way you're sitting.

suna looks at you. his eyes scanning through your features with a small smile. you're pretty, really. he notes every little feature on you mentally—noting how you always have two fringes/braids framing your face, noting how you actually fell asleep, noting how good your music taste is.

lemme save these songs too, suna thinks. he reaches over for your phone before dropping his hoodie on you. it's quite cold this morning and he'd rather not hear your ten-thousand complaints when you wake up from the nap.

──

“CAN YOU NOT WALK SO FAST?!”

“can't help that i'm an athlete.”

“NO ONE CARES! SLOW DOWN A LITTLE.”

it's 5:42 pm, the beams of the evening sky color the area in its glory. it'd be a beautiful scenery if two teenagers weren't bickering down the street.

a young boy, around six feet tall, walks with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a yogurt. behind him stands a young girl, around (your height), walks with anger as she playfully throws her school bag at the boy.

“keep hitting me and see if i won't throw you down the street.” the boy says, wiggling his finger at the girl as he warns her.

“are you trying to tussle and bussle?” the girl answers back, rolling her eyes at him.

“bussle... what is your vocabulary?” the boy questions, fighting back a smile. he finds her sentence amusing.

“don't question it. anyways, can we go to a café?”

“yeah, i'll grab some snacks for my sister too.”

and so, they set off (still bickering).

ಇ. MIDNIGHT

giggling at your convo, you smile hard before coming to realization.

“did i just fucking giggle at suna?!” questioning yourself out loud, you raise one eyebrow before switching off your phone. i'm going insane, you think.

laying down in a starfish position, you look up at the ceiling wondering about your feelings towards the one and only suna rintarō.

do you like him? yes.

is he annoying? yes.

do you like his company? yes.

do you wish to bash his head in with a rock sometimes? yes.

your romantic emotions clash with your platonic emotions which then clashes with your confusion and creates a whole new headache!

i don't have time for this.

meanwhile at suna's

“ayah, do you think i'm crazy?” suna asks. he's sitting at the end of his bed staring at a wall.

“yes!” the little girl answered, playing with her toys as she ignores her older brother's reaction.

ಇ. NEXT DAY

at the school's gym holds two teenagers that sit side by side, judging other students. one student named suna rintarō aggressively chews on his gum agreeing with the words being said as the other named y/n l/n continues to judge.

“y'know the girl in the right's cheating on her boyfriend?” you say, raising your eyebrows at you look at suna.

gasping, suna looks at you, “you're lying oh my god.”

“no i swear. like, if i was her boyfriend i'd just go home right now.” you replied, shrugging your shoulders as you reach for one of suna's gums.

“that's crazy but who are we to judge honestly.” suna says, popping his gum before standing up.

“i have practice until six today—” he stops before leaning down to your ground level, “don't miss me.” he continues, slightly smirking before pinching your cheek.

“hands OFF. and no, i won't miss you.” shoving his hand away, you stand up to walk out the gym with him (even though there's no reason to).

— at suna's.

suna walks into his home, greeting his family before dragging himself up to his room. he's whipped and absolutely battered. sometimes, he thinks he's not cut out for volleyball—well at least not with mr. perfect kita who does indeed follow a properly written routine.

i'm fucking beat, suna thinks. he plops onto his bed face down but immediately turns around. he thinks about the little interaction from earlier today; you guys were close. he's not really a teasing person but he doesn't know what possessed him to get that close—close to the point he could've moved five centimetres and your lips would meet.

you know that little cartoon effect where a red blush rushes from the character's neck to the head? yeah, that's suna right now. he's done and DUSTED.

“this cannot be real.” suna whispers, he thinks he's going insane. no way he can't stop thinking about you. no way. reaching over for his phone, suna looks at the screen before thinking, should i text her or nah.

he goes with the “nah” option and decides to take a nap. maybe he'll sort his feelings out after his nap.

[fizzbot]

ok im not sure if anyones pointed this out yet, but this is a helluva boss sticker pack that just recently released. its very possible that it means absolutely nothing........but is it possible that these are hints to upcoming shorts???? (personal rambles and theories under the read more)

these all seem really random. which wouldnt be out of the norm for helluva merch, usually its just an assortment of random characters doing random things. but with the fact that we now know that we'll be getting shorts, and the fact that these all seem like very specific scenarios, i think its plausible that these are hints for things that might be upcoming.

the cherubs being here is especially interesting, because we havent seen anything about them AT ALL since early season 1. we know theyll be making a return (presumibly in mastermind) but then why is the merch featuring these cherubs, and not collin, keenie, and cletus? i think its possible that well be getting a short set in heaven, specifically about these characters/perhaps in preparation to the release of mastermind.

as we know from hells belles, verosika will be going on a tour in pride, which presumably sets up apology tour. but in this art shes not in pride, shes in sloth. this is where we know the rehab center is. is it possible shell end up back in rehab/well get a flashback short about her time in there? potentially even some backstory with her and barbie??

the next one features bee, tex, and loona. i THINK it was confirmed somewhere (although i dont have a source) that well be seeing bee again this year, although i just assumed that would be in the finale. its possible that she, tex, and loona will be hanging out again in a short, which would be nice! ive also seen some theories/speculation that this specefic piece of merch might allude to the ship ""honeybunch"" (or bee x tex x loona) potentially becoming canon.

stolas and octavia sort of has me stumped. based on her lines in the trailer, it seems like octavia is still harboring some resentment, and this picture seems like a really sweet glimpse into their domestic life. honestly this feels so out of character for me that it almost made me throw my whole idea about these being potential shorts out the window. im sure they still do have nice moments like this, but i struggle to picture them happening since the only interactions weve seen them have have been negative. maybe therell be a short trying to rectify this? or this could be a pre-blitz flashback.

im partially hoping these are shorts JUST for this next one. i want striker to have a short so so bad. i have literally NO idea what it would be, though. i just wanna see more of him and bombproof :( zooming in on the picture, i did notice that 1) theyre back in wrath. 2) striker is polishing a (not-blessed) knife. and 3), he doesnt seem to be too injured from the escape in oops. although, interestingly, we only get to see the left side of his face. im pointing this out, because in oops, when the explosion occurs, the shot of the fire zooming towards strikers face is a direct parallel to the shot of the fire zooming towards BLITZ face. i think it would be REALLY sick if they ended up with matching burn scars.

finally, moxxie and his mom. this is the piece that gave me this idea in the first place, just because it seems so incredibly random. i cannot even imagine a place where she would come back, if not a flashback short that delves deeper into his childhood. where else would she fit in this whole season? its possible that he has another flashback in the show, but the trailer seems REALLY focused on stolas and (especially) blitzs past, so it feels slightly unlikely. it makes sense that theyd get a whole short dedicated just for them.

idk, maybe im WAYYYY off. i just think it would be nice to get some time away from the main cast in their current states for a while and these seem like some of the best ways to do it

[nitrowyverine]

Finally played the TOUCHSTARVED Demo! Still thinking about it over a week later.

(Above: Steam banner image for TOUCHSTARVED from Red Spring Studios)

I love it SO MUCH. and i have QUESTIONS. my extended thoughts below the cut [Demo spoilers included]

General thoughts:

this game is SO up my alley that it's insane. local goth gaming nerd is kicking their feet and giggling

the music? and sound design? It's honestly incredible, even beyond the infamous Every Time We Touch cover (Which is how I found this game). We all have to be giving more props to the music/sound work, it absolutely punches the experience up so many notches. When a soundtrack is released I'm immediately keeping it on hand for all my tabletop needs

absolutely enamored with the backstory mechanic. It adds so much individual depth to the character. you can feel attached to your MC without them being a complete blank slate. I absolutely love that different MC backstories have you pick up different details about the characters. (My favorite is The Hound immediately picking out who the leaders are amongst the group, in contrast to the other MC backgrounds)

I wanna eat the backgrounds. I wanna eat them whole. They're so detailed and colorful and have a great sense of depth. 100000/10

Specific character thoughts/theories:

(Images courtesy of the Touchstarved character Lore posts from the Red Spring Studio socials. I'll be linking them in each of the character's names)

Ais:

Thank you, Red Spring studios, for blessing the players with the ability to bite him if you're an ass to him the entire demo. You truly know what we want

Lore seems to indicate that Ais came over from the demon realm for some unknown reason, and was possibly some kind of demon king or leader? Fascinated to learn what happens there

Ngl the Seaspring looks like it would taste good. My favorite raspberry/rhubarb tea looks just like the Seaspring water. Gimme the group juice.

Question: If Ais gets infected with MC's madness....does that mean. the WHOLE groupmind gets infected? Humans and soulless alike? That's a city-destroying disaster waiting to happen

CONCLUSION: Most likely to adopt 6 dogs instead of picking up the groceries. Least likely to let you have the car aux cable.

Kuras:

I do believe Kuras is the actual best shot at a cure/treatment of all candidates. Assuming the curse is some level of demonic, an angel's touch is probably the best bet.

Let me be clear here though, I do think he might just go "Well you can just like. not have arms" and take them. That is a possibility

Most of the other characters I can get a rough idea of what they want and why. Kuras? I have NO idea what his goal is, which is very frightening.

Twitter bio image does say "Repentant Angel", and that his fatal flaw is "his sins can only be repaid through suffering". Possible linkage to Lovent's fall? Or another major disaster?

its okay sweaty we all get The Guilt (tm)

If Kuras somehow gets MC's maddness (I have a feeling it may not effect him? but if it did) that would just. end the world right there.

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be the one guy you might be able to bring home to your parents. Least likely to put on oven mitts to take a frozen pizza out of the oven.

Vere:

I love Vere for being the character I thought I could trust the least, turning into a character I actually trust allot. I trust him to be extremely dangerous. He probably wasn't lying when he said his heart is on his sleeve.

Also, big props for having him just kill you in one of the demo endings. What a guy, I love him, no notes

Wait what he's over 100 according to his birthday post. thats, allot? older? than I thought?. okay yeah the lore posts mention he's a possible deity figure. not comforting

Vere is very fae-logic coded. Like, the words he says can be true and false at the same time. Don't tell him your name, he will cannibalize you for fun, etc etc ya know fae stuff.

i will protect him always

CONCLUSION: Most likely to fuck your dad. Least likely to be your new stepdad.

Mihn:

Mihn is much dodgier than the rest, but I think that makes them more trustworthy. They're not as interested as playing games.

I nominate Mihn as a secondary protagonist, since Leander, Ais, and Kuras seem to be interested in them quite a bit. Even Vere has a rivalmance kinda thing going for Mihn. If MC didn't show up, that would be the dating sim right there

I'm excited by the lore post and the implications that Mihn is from Lovent (or has traveled there? and survived?) and potentially getting greater lore expansion about the world surrounding Eridia

I think it's interesting that their strength stat is relatively low compared to the others, yet they're one of the characters that actually uses their strength in the demo.

Also, I think we see the least of their "monstrous form" of everyone in the demo (minus their ability to dodge in and out of shadows). I'm thrilled to see what their monstrous form actually entails.

Mihn would survive bloodborne. That's it thats the entire thought

CONCLUSION: Most likely to do all the work in a group project. Least likely to be chill during Mario Party.

Leander:

OKAY ALL OF MY QUESTIONS ARE HERE. I AM DEEPLY AFRAID. Something is absolutely wrong but we have no current ability to pinpoint what it is.

I've seen theories Leander is dead. However, in Vere's route, he mentions that Leander smells like aftershave. While this could be part of an extra-elaborate ruse, hair doesn't grow after death (Minus the appearance of it happening due to natural decay processes) so he wouldn't need to shave. However, I am betting on him being involved in some sort of un-death cycle.

actually I can guarantee his story is all about cycles. Has anyone else mentioned how his belt is the triple goddess symbol.

you know. the symbol of maiden/mother/crone. birth/life/death. beginning/middle/end. like

Moving on, the vast majority of his smiles are forced (Mouth is smiling, but there's no eye movement/crinkle that would indicate it's genuine). That is enough of a red flag but honey I am so much more worried about my next point:

WHERE DOES HE GET HIS MONEY. He's constantly buying rounds of drinks for a packed bar. It's briefly mentioned his clothes are nice. He pays for anything MC needs. However, says Bloodhound rates are "Free". Where does he GET HIS MONEY for all of this. Twitter posts from Red Spring point out he doesn't accept bribes (at least overtly).

WAIT I'M REREADING THIS POST WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE SILENT CRYPTS.

Looking again at Leander's stat post. The Ouroboros in the background is. Not comforting. Also, "Forbidden Magic"? yeah I have a feeling we know why he's not in the Senobium

Theory, potentially Leander is currently being paid by the Senobium to maintain lowtown/Silent Crypts order? I think there's still a connection between them. Like the Senobuim can remain detached while having ties to whatever horrible things Leander is doing.

Okay, in the twitter relationship charts it says that Kuras has looked out for Leander "Since he was young". Kuras probably knows. SO much we don't.

When Mihn scolds Leander for not telling MC to be off the streets past dark. I think Leander intentionally "Forgot" to mention that. I think he wanted the MC to see how dangerous Eridia was so MC would stay closer to Leander for safety. I think it was a very intentional manipulation tactic.

(Furthermore, did he actually cast a spell of luck on MC when he gave them the lilies from his introduction magic trick? Then bet on the MC living through the day?)

I do think Leander's surprise at MC going out to the Seaspring was genuine, since his spit-take clashes so starkly with his cool-guy demeanor.

I also have a feeling that Leander has been past the veil/shroud. he's doing something fucky and the veil is prime fuckery territory.

(Are we...going to get a timeloop story????)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to dramatically use himself as a human bridge over a small puddle (as an excuse to get walked on). Least likely to remember to go to bed after playing Stardew Valley for 13 hours straight.

Touchstarved game things I'm concerned about:

(I feel like I wouldn't be doing my game designer duties if I didn't point out my concerns as well. To be fair, there aren't many.)

I hope the bad endings get fucked up, story-wise. Since it's a horror game, I know it might turn some people off to have things go super wrong, but I really hope they do. I want to see some endless pain vortexes, some real Juniji Ito-style suffering. But I would also understand if the devs want to softball some of the worst outcomes for the sake of widespread appeal.

We all have countless examples of kickstarter games looking strong out the gate, but then falling flat upon release. While I have high hopes for Touchstarved, I do know the reality and intense difficulty of kickstarter games. I'm really hoping the demo isn't the best the studio will have to offer.

OVERALL: I am rooting for the Touchstarved team/Red Spring Studio all the way! I'm thrilled to see where this game goes. I am poised on this purchase button and ready to buy when it releases.

[lunerna21]

Huh?????

Wait what? I thought I only saw a rerun for the Harveston Sledathon event…

….Honestly I wasn’t expecting us to get another Main story update till after the holidays but I TAKE BACK MY COMPLAINTS

WE’RE FINALLY GETTING MORE SINCE FREAKIN APRIL!!!

BLESS YOU YANA!! ❤️❤️❤️

I’m super stoked to see what happens next, but my only concern is that they butcher the translations and context for things moving forward in the story

BUT IM STILL GRATEFUL AND ENTHUSIASTIC FOR MORE OF BOOK 7!!!

And with it being such a chaotic month I never got to post my two proudest earns this month! 🥺❤️

IM SO HAPPY I WAS ABLE TO GET THEM AND NOW I CAN FALL MORE IN LOVE WITH THESE TWO! 🥺❤️

Now I’m sitting anxiously for the release of Playful Land next month 🙃😇

AND THE REVEAL FOR WHAT THE NEXT BIRTHDAY THEME IS

AND WHAT WILL BE THE NEW EVENT FOR HALLOWEEN FOR THE JPN SERVER!

Oh, and by the way… ITS OFFICIALLY SPOOKY SEASON BITCHES!!!🎃🍁🍂👻🎃

TO THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!! 🎃🍁🍂👻🧡💛🖤

[pixlpxie]

Heeeyyy. I have a question. (SA trigger warning)

Do you think the desire for cnc stems from previous sexual trauma? I've seen an anon here say that she wanted to be full on tortured and held down by, was it Yunho or Hwa, I don't remember. I didn't even sense the consent in her ask. And I was like, I'd be down, and then I was like huhhh???? I would?????

I was almost sexually assaulted by an agemate when I was 14. Back then, I felt horrible. Like, I really went through it. Asking myself why I was even there in the first place yk? Blaming myself, and so on. I was also sooo against any form of non-consent, even if it was consensual. But now that I look back, I'm like, ugh I was over reacting and if I went back in time to that moment I would just tell my young self to shut up like it wasn't even that bad. (My morals do prevail and I know that any kind of SA is not acceptable. If it were anyone else, I would NEVER say this.)

But now I am so very willing to participate in cnc, 100%. Even take part in various kinks. I think I just grew up and became more self aware and honest with myself, but I would like to know if you think my previous experience contributed to this.

Also, you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable. I love love love your page, like it constantly reminds me that I'm not odd for liking the things I do😭🫶🫶. Thank you so much. You're a blessing to many of us, and some hATERS (cue annoying people) cannot even seem to understand that. Talking about lists and all that. Ew

Such topics do not make me uncomfortable, don't worry🤭its literally my job atp (im a psychologist now so I mean it)

First of all before I get into it, I want you to know that you were never the blame. Its not your fault that you had to go through something like that. I'm so sorry for what happened and I hope you are better now. And you feeling bad about non consensual plays for some time is totally normal, don't think that you had to enjoy this kink right away.

Honestly I had to research quite a lot on this topic before because even though I knew it was a perfectly normal kink, the reality of r*pe makes you doubt yourself. So I wanted to find out if there was something wrong with me or not because no one around me irl likes cnc. They think its extremely weird. It turns out nothing's wrong.

There are many reasons why a person can be into cnc, involving extreme versions of it. You can already guess some of them, which is that it's a really strong roleplay for power dynamics. Whether you are the agressor or the victim, you give in to the most extreme level of domination or submission. It's also primal. It can easily bring out your animalistic sides. Many people enjoy this. So for example if you like being the victim it can simply mean that you like not having control. Its a good way to relieve stress and release adrenalin too.

The other reason is that CNC can actually work as a coping mechanism. In fact, kinks and role plays are important for human psychology. They can help you resolve or at least deal with unresolved issues in two main ways. The first is that you might have experienced something related to the said kink/rp. In this example, you might have actually experienced SA. It's not easy to accept a reality like this and it can easily damage a person's identity and self-perception. It can take so long to get better. So you need to find a way to cope with this and resolve it. So over time you can start enjoying CNC as it would give you a sense of control that you couldn't have during the bad experience. You can control, change and alter the way the role play can go. This can help you to accept what's happened in a less damaging way, assuring that you are in control. It can also help you relive the experience over again, although this can sound bad, you can become insensitized to the situation.

The second way is that these unresolved issues don't have to be anything related to the roleplay. Meaning you don't have to experience SA to enjoy CNC. Such symbolic roleplays can help you deal with repressed emotions and help your subconscious to process the material there. As such roleplays also have clear cut archetypal figures, they can help you deal with deep-seated symbols, personas or narratives. Do you know why they say people with daddy kinks don't have a healthy relationship with their dad? Its not true all the time obviously (bc its so common now) but it's a good way to show you what I mean.

So no, not all people who enjoy CNC experience SA or similar events. But if you had, it can help you cope too. But kinks and fetishes are way too deeply rooted in your subconscious and they are madly complicated. Most of the time you will end up feeling so lost when you try to find out why you have a certain kink/fetish. So you're not really supposed to know why you like the things you like. You should let your psyche and subconscious deal with them. As long as theres constent and they dont hurt other people, you can enjoy anything. Its ok. Don't let people make you feel bad for enjoying CNC. Trust me, people who like this kink are actually really nice and care so much about their partner's well being. Meaning the agressor roleplayer don't actually want to r*pe anyone irl. That's what I've seen.

Overall, in your case, it might have contributed. And it's ok. Keep enjoying your roleplay and let it help you resolve your trauma.

And thank you so much I hope youll keep enjoying my blog and i was able to help 🥺🥹💖💖

[sarahjtv]

Thank you, My Hero Academia

Today, August 4th in the West and August 5th in the East, the My Hero Academia or Boku No Hero Academia manga has finally ended after 10 years of serialization in Weekly Shonen Jump with 430 chapters total.

It still doesn't feel real, but it is. I finished reading the final chapter a little over an hour ago and I can say that I am very happy with this ending. The only real complaint I have now is that I wish Horikoshi gave us more chapters for the epilogue to give us more content. The 5 chapter epilogue we got was definitely rushed in some parts, but we should still be blessed we got those 5 chapters at all because I cannot tell you how many times mangaka shortened their epilogues to 1-2 chapters, and then that's it. Apparently he has a lot of pages left in the final Volume to fill in, so we’ll see if Horikoshi will expand on things when it releases in early December. For how it was as a final chapter, it's was near perfect.

Having Izuku become a teacher at UA was a great alternative to becoming a Pro Hero after the embers of OFA faded away. Teachers inspire their students to strive forward and follow their dreams. If he wasn't going to be a Pro Hero, being a teacher at his Alma Mata is a great consolation prize. Thankfully, that dream of Izuku's didn't die.

Izuku did so much for the world and the people around him for that 1+ year that it was going to give something good back to him somehow. Though it took 8 years, thanks to his friends supporting him all the way through, he is able to continue living his dream as a Hero with his friends by his side. Considering the fact that All Might's Iron Might suit cost most of his fortune, I gotta wonder how much it cost to make Izuku's support suit. Shoto, Momo, and Iida are all rich thanks to their family's inheritance, but I'm sure everyone else had to save up a shit ton of cash to get this project done ESPECIALLY BAKUGO! I'm glad they got there in the end anyway.

And seeing our beloved kids as adults (I think they're 24-25 now) leading the way for a better world is so satisfying to see. I love all their upgraded looks and outfits too! I hope we get more details about them in the upcoming Fan Book and Art Book next year! Honestly, I'm going to miss this entire cast even Mineta of all people. Horikoshi clearly put a lot of love and care into each one of his characters no matter how small of a role they played. I saw these kids and even adults grow into amazing people and heroes for the better part of the last decade and saying goodbye to them is like saying goodbye to a good friend.

Despite its problems, this story will always hold a special place in my heart. It was a beacon of hope for me over the past 6-ish years and I'd argue that it saved my life when my life was in the pits. It still is today in a way. I can't give My Hero Academia an honest rating without bias kicking in hard, but I think this is one of the best manga that Shonen Jump had to offer. I'm so glad Horikoshi got to end his story on his own terms and ended up being one of THE most successful mangaka in modern WSJ. He deserves everything good that ever comes to him. Please don't ruin that for us, sir lol.

Regardless, thank you, Kohei Horikoshi. Thank you for telling this incredibly special story of a young boy who became the greatest hero and how everyone can be a hero Quirkless or not. I will forever be grateful for what you brought to me and I will cry happy tears as I say goodbye. I hope you take a long, deserving break for now. I look forward to whatever you have in store for this world next.

[badrrr]

The muwahideen are finding marriage difficult, among a lot of things. And I want to say, the path of the Ghuraba isn’t paved with roses. Being from the Ghuraba isn’t an aesthetic. It’s is a path that Allah blessed us to be upon. So remember it , when things became difficult. When marriage isn’t easy, remember this. Make dua and tie your camel.

And when you make dua, consistently do it. Day in and day out. Tahajjud shouldn’t be a once every 2 week thing. Make it part of your routine. Raise your hands to the heavens and beg Allah. Show humility to and tell Allah honestly. If you want companionship, tell Allah that. If you fear falling into zina, be honest about it with Allah. When it rains, make dua. Between the adhan and iqaamah, make dua. In Sujood, make dua. The last hour of Friday, make dua. The dua made at tahajjud is an arrow that never misses its target. So where are you, o you who has a need that needs fulfilling ? Where are your who wishes to have that which they desire? If you are sleeping at that time, do you really want it? You truly don’t want it if you know you have a Lord that descends and seeks to fulfill the need of His slaves.

Ask family, friends and people at the masjid. Do something new and look outside of your town, city or even country. There has been plenty of brothers and sisters on the manhaj who have traveled elsewhere for a spouse or maintain a long distance relationship as a temporary before they are united . If you have a preference, look outside of that and expand your options. Ask those online and if the online route is taken, do your due diligence. It shouldn’t be the first choice but after asking Allah, go for it (for sisters, please always seek permission from a wali and have him every step of the way, online and in real life). Even if the your surroundings are mainly liberals and madkhalis for example, don’t ever underestimate Allah. Allah can send somebody to you when you least expect it in a way that you could never imagine. So have good thoughts of Allah. He is how we think of Him. Do you think He will never give you a spouse? Believe your Lord will answer you and that you will be pleased.

Don’t forget to look into your self. How is your heart with Allah? How much are your sins? Are they greater than your good deeds ? How many sins are you willingly indulging in that you can easily cut off? You want a righteous spouse but are you striving to be from the righteous ? You ask Allah for a spouse and you feel as if your dua isn’t being answered , but what is the amount of sins?

Are you fulfilling your obligations? Are you praying on time , giving zakat, forbidding the evil and enjoining the good , maintaining ties with kith and kin, staying away from the haram? Brothers, are you defending the Ummah and securing the release of the captives? Look into yourself. There could be things that are delaying the response to your dua. Also, think of how you’re close to Allah right now on your state. You’re begging Allah consistently in Tahajjud, your mouth is constantly moving with dua, you’re in a state of hope and wanting a need fulfilled. Yes it’s not easy being patient upon something you’ve been wanting for a long time, but take advantage of how close you are to Allah now. Maybe Allah wants to keep you near Him. Maybe He wants to hear your voice just a little more.

Purify your intentions. The spouse you desire isn’t just for yourself. Have the intention when you get married it is to aid the deen of Allah. It is to bring victory back in the earth and to raise children who will uphold the banner of Tawheed high in the lands. A righteous spouse is part of your enjoyment but remember the bigger picture.

As a last note, work to keep your heart attached to Jannah. We may not get everything we want here but what is with Allah is much better and greater. Dunya isn’t final. It’s just a bridge. Keep your eyes in the prize and your heart connected to heavenly matters. Ask Allah to grant you contentment with your Qadr and to make it easy for you to be grateful in all situations. والله اعلم

May Allah grant all the muwahideen righteous spouses sooner rather than later. May Allah grant us patience and protect us from falling into fitnah. May Allah answer your Adiyah in beautiful ways. آمين

[greenerteacups]

I think you're the first person I see that points out Emma's "eyebrow heavy performance" without making fun of her lol It's easy to take it for granted now, but I honestly think she did a good enough job with Hermione. The eyebrow thing does get excessive sometimes, especially in OoTP, but I like how expressive it makes Hermione. That girl cannot be subtle, bless her.

I used to think she was better at portraying Hermione in the earlier movies than the later ones and my opinion only changed when I rewatched them with my younger brother recently. I was like 11 when DH movie released and of course that dummy (affectionate) would not appreciate the more subtle work of portraying traumatized teenagers who were being hunted in a freaking war. 18yo seemeed sooooo grown up to me at the time lol. The only movie I don't really like is HBP. I hate that yellow filter and everything was so awkward, but not in the fun way.

Anyway I just dumped an unsolicited rant on you. Sorry. Here's a question tho: what's your favorite and least favorite HP book? And favorite/ least favorite HP movie?

YELLOW HALF-BLOOD PRINCE I LOVE YOU YELLOW HALF-BLOOD PRINCE... they saw everyone complaining about the blue-grey 2000's color grading of GOF and OOTP and they said "fine. FINE. you want a warm filter? we'll GIVE you a warm filter. now everything looks like a tennis ball. are you happy?"

I sympathize completely with Watson's job in the middle-films, because charting the course from "precocious nerd child" to "battle-hardened soldier steering her friends through a war" is (no shit) kind of hard. So Watson plays her as very direct and earnest. That works as one of many interpretations you could make of Hermione's character. There's not really any darkness in Watson's Hermione, but that suits Radcliffe's Harry and Grint's Ron — Grint is, I think, the actor who's trying hardest to bring a realistic Edge to some of these war-hardened teenagers, and I love him for that — but in general, the movie's Golden Trio are very soft babies, and it's sweet.

My favorite book is Goblet of Fire (tournament arc I love youuuuuu tournament arc), and my least favorite is a toss-up between Deathly Hallows and Philosopher's Stone. The latter for reasons that are not its fault, it's just much more of a children's book than any of the others. Great children's book! That shit went crazy hard when I was a child. But nowadays, not my cuppa. Put it this way: I would rather read DH than PS, but in terms of antipathy, I also have a lot more beef with DH as a text.

My favorite movie is Prisoner of Azkaban. It's fucking gorgeous and it's a crime they let Cuarón after he delivered something Like That. it actually feels like an enchanted setting — the camera lavishes attention on all these little details that make Hogwarts and Hogsmeade feel lived-in. It's the only film that I'd recommend to someone who wasn't a Harry Potter fan, and I mean that.

[therealcocoshady]

i is getting like a half therpy (other reasons lawl) and half adhd diagnosis thingy, idk.

But honestly hyperfoucus has saved me so many times. Yesterday i wrote an 11 paragraph essay off the top of my head about Bones and All (silly canabalism movie (dont judge its a hyperfoucus i cant control 😭😭 its problomatic as hell but fuck it we ball yk) and i wrote it in like 30 mins 😭😭 When the hyperfoucus hits it hits hard

also i js wanted to also say... the smut... god lorrddd the smut on this blog ‼️‼️ absolutely yummalicious, beautiful writing and i need morreeeeeeeee. Cant consume enough ‼️

-🍄

Honestly, hyper focus is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand it makes you so efficient and you can be so good at researching a topic and developing some sort of expertise on it super quickly. Same goes for assignments. Our brains thrive on last minute stuff, because of some sort of adrenaline/dopamine rush. So it gives us the ability of being super productive on a short time frame. And those happy hormone releases make it so addictive, too.

And sometimes, hyper focus is the worst liability, because you have obligations and commitments, but your brain just won't let go of whatever it is that you're focused on. And you don't even know if it'll last for hours, days, weeks, months or years. In the meantime, you're unable to do shit, because your brain space is taken.

Also, thank you for the smut compliment ! It means a lot to me because I feel so bad at writing it. I enjoy smutty content as much as the next sinful humain being, but I feel stupid writing it 95% of the time. 😅

[divinesoull]

7 ways to RAISE YOUR VIBEZ

7 ways to RAISE YOUR VIBEZ 

Journaling. Journaling is the MOST important way to transform into your highest self. Get your thoughts, ideas, traumas, fantasies out of your head and on paper. If you sit and evaluate your life and question, are you happy? What will make you happy? What will satisfy you? What are your desires in life? Short term goals? Long term goals? What type of person do you aspire to be? Now how cool would it be to write your responses on paper and watch them unfold in your reality. Journaling allows you to look back at your old notes and see what was once a desire or manifestation that you are now living. It is easier to take action on your goals and hold yourself accountable when you jot it down. This journal should be sacred and hold value to your life's desires and your journey to raising your vibe.  

Be still/Spending time with yourself. For so long we give ourselves away whether it is to our job, kids, our spouse, social media, school, honestly anything! Practicing stillness means you're resting in God’s presence. Silencing your mind can be challenging when you are busy living your day-to-day life. But taking the time to sit with yourself and allowing God into your inner being will silence the chaos and allow you to align with His guidance and connection. Find a quiet place when you rise from resting like nature, the beach, park, or bath time just to name a few and begin by inhaling deep breaths through your nose and releasing deep breaths through your mouth. Invite and share your quiet moments with God. Allow God to calm your mind and be within the moment. Start your day with prayer and conversations with God. Release what no longer serves you, show gratitude for all things and make this a habit. It will for sure transform your vibes. 

Feed your mind with positivity. It is extremely important to be mindful of what you are feeding your mind. I cannot say this enough. What type of music are you listening to? I get it, the beat may be bumping, but what are the lyrics saying that you are essentially feeding into your subconscious mind. The same goes for television, movies, who you take advice from. Music is such a beautiful source of expression, it should be divine, sensual, upbeat and soft. You should feel good listening to it and after you turn it off. Find the music that enhances your vibes for the person you are trying to become. Read books of substance or listen to helpful podcasts.  

Feed your body with High Vibe food. Not only should you be feeding your mind with positivity, but also your body. Pay attention to the food you eat and how it makes you feel. Are you feeling bloated or tired when you're done eating a meal? You should feel energized! You just refueled your body, why would you not feel like it energetically? Start your day off with fruit or a less heavy meal like avocado toast with tomatoes. For lunch, instead of eating, chick fil a, decide to make your own chicken sandwich. (Sourdough bread, thin chicken breast, arugula, tomatoes, pepper jack cheese (or what you prefer) and with chipotle aioli or just avocado spread) WAYYYYY healthier and is so quick and easy to make. Trust me! Swap unhealthy mainstream brands for organic, healthy options that can be found at local markets, sprouts, trader joes, Publix and yes, sometimes Walmart. 😉 

Spend time in nature. If you have been researching how to raise your vibe or transform to your highest self, I think you must know this is key. Getting back to source. Getting sunlight on your body. Connecting with the sun and forming a great relationship to enjoy its awesome benefits. Breathing in fresh air, actively moving your body, enjoying nature, and simply acknowledging nature. Watch your vibe rise high. 

Practice gratitude and positive affirmations. Looking at yourself in the mirror and expressing gratitude for the blessings in your life speaks volumes for the frequency you operate on and raising that vibe. Speak positive to yourself. Tell yourself you love yourself! See and acknowledge the divine within you. 😊 

Workout. Moving your body is essential to feeling good about yourself. And of course, if you feel good, you are already raising that vibe of yours. Moving your body doesn't always mean you need a gym membership. Home workouts are just as effective. Set a schedule and plan what you are working on for the day. Remember, this is going to take time. You will not see your desired results within a week or month. It takes dedication, and persistence to get to that goal you wrote down in that journal of yours. Keep going and take journey pictures. Simply moving your body is just increasing your vibe. How do you feel when you complete a workout? Exactly.  

[bubble-tea-blossom]

Professional Horse Trainer, Joel Miller

Ok hear me out...

Modern times, and Joel Miller is a pro horse trainer, you’re his assistant trainer.  You, along with his nephew and his friend work under Joel, running the stables while Joel takes clients, and help train long term stayers. 

You worked mostly alone at the start, only occasionally working one on one with Joel. But as the years went by Joel saw your value and skill surpass even his nephew’s along with your clearly surpassing common sense development, Joel started having you accompany him on his trips to different states to do conferences or see private clients willing to pay to have him come to them. 

It’s been a while now that you’re now his always go-to for trips. Sometimes you wonder if his nephew is jealous. But you kinda don't really care.

Because honestly, long car trips across the flat open plains, sometimes venturing into the mountains just the two of you, getting every meal with each other, sleeping in the rooms next to each other, seeing the other sleepy eyed in the morning while you eat shitty motel breakfast across from each other at the much too small table; being in such close quarters with Joel for days, sometimes even weeks, is the most painful blessing.

Yeah, your little crush on him you had when you first started has only kindled into a full on forest fire. 

The first thing that kept your gaze lingered on him for a moment too long was his way with the horses. The way he is with them is gentle, firm but never mean, never cruel. When there’s even a small minor improvement he speaks to them with real pride in his praise as he coos at them, low and soft.  You find yourself sometimes shifting your feet when you listen to him praise the mares. You feel a little guilty about the reaction you can’t help but feel when he gives caressing praises like,

Good girl.

Atta girl, there ya go. 

The occasional Good job, pretty girl. 

His whispered praises haunt you in the dark of night while you stare up at the ceiling trying to sleep. Trying to ignore the pulse in between your legs. Pretend you don’t want to widen your knees, reach your hand down the length of your body, and touch where you so desperately want your boss to touch. But you can’t admit that to yourself. You’ve often rely on just pretending there’s nothing wrong, and it’s seen you thru many situations. 

So here you are, lying in bed in the Green Lounge Motel in north Arizona, trying not to think about Joel on the other side of the wall above your head as you lie there. You wonder what he’s wearing to bed. He seems like a underwear sleeper. Your traitorous brain supplies the image of Joel first lying in bed in his underwear (which you have seen him in real life, traveling together for so long means its bound to happen, you're just glad there hasn't been an awkward moment where he catches you in that state...yet.) Then your mind provides the image of Joel lying in bed in his underwear..."releasing steam."

You wonder what he looks like as he takes himself in hand, head against the wall, eyes closed as he groans, fist pumping up and down. You wonder what he thinks about, or if he watches porn on his phone or something. You can't help but to hope wonder if he ever thinks about you. 

You have limited info you gained when you were 15 talking to 15 year old boys, that said its more likely a guy you know has jerked off to you even if he’s not really interested in you, than not. But you don’t like that scenario. Joel’s nothing like those 15 year old boys. Joel’s a man. 

You used to not get it, the difference of boys and men. Joel’s nephew for example, you could describe him as both a man and a boy. But Joel’s no boy. He’s quite a bit older than you, shown through the crow’s feet by his eyes, and the gray hair on his chin and by his temple. Year by year the silver strands creep further and further. It also shows through his hands, often dry and cracked, callouses on his palm and finger tips both from work and from guitar. 

You think about his hands now, squeezing your eyes shut harder, legs clenched tight as if you can block out the ache.

You think about how thick his fingers are compared to yours. About how his fingers would feel sinking inside the wet pull of your pussy. He’d need to start with one, and work his way up to two. The rough pad of his thumb rubbing the pearl of your clit, his fingers inside rubbing at that spot that gives you shudders. He laps at your neck, giving the soft skin under your jaw wet kisses, breathing praise into your skin. 

Good girl, taking my fingers so well. 

You soaking my hand, pretty girl, does this feel good? 

You nod and whimper your approval. Back arching when Joel dips his head to take your nipple into his mouth. His tongue dances over the nub of sensitive nerves and sends a buzz to your toes. Your hand goes to his hair to try and ground yourself at the sensations he's sending through your body.  

You’re so wet now that you can hear him fingering you. Fuck, just the thought, Joel Miller fingering you, makes you clench down on him.

“You want me to keep fucking you with my fingers or do you want my cock sweetheart.” Joel asks you, watching you as you reply. 

“I want your cock, please Joel.” You’ve been aching for it for so long. 

“Ok, but I gotta stretch you a little more, sweetheart.” He husks, pulling his fingers out to replace with his tongue, making you gasp as his takes your pussy in his mouth. He tongue fucks you for a bit before replacing with his fingers, this time sinking a third finger in. 

You suck in a sharp inhale as you half sit up, the stretch smarting too sharply. 

“I’m sorry darling.” Joel coos, retracting his fingers carefully. Instead he rubs the sting away at the opening in your slit. Circling the muscle and tissue there, as he slowly adds more pressure. Then, ever so slowly, sinks all three fingertips inside your cunt. He knows he's taken his time properly when the walls of of your cunt almost suck him deeper. It makes him smile, your body's eagerness to accept him and take him inside. Joel takes his time until finally he's three fingers, knuckle deep. He picks up his pace, fucking you open. Getting you ready. 

Your older cousin once told you, that you have a good guess what a man’s dick is like based on his hands. And Joel has broad, thick and long fingers.

You feel your stomach muscles clench down as your back arches from the beams of pleasure you feel rushing through you. You've grown so wet you can hear the fingers as they stroke around and inside you. Your jaw drops open as you get closer and closer, eyes squeezed shut, practically an inch from release.

Your hear nearly stops when a loud bang from the room next to yours. You freeze in place, heart racing from being so close, you listen for any other sounds. Ears strained you can hear Joel's footsteps walk back and forth. You're guessing something fell, something kinda big from the sound of it. But after that you hear no more.

You look over at the motel's alarm clock besides you. It's 2:11 in the morning, when you thought the lateness would gain you added privacy. Apparently not and now you're desperately trying to remember how loud you were being. You hadn't been focusing as much on staying absolutely quiet when your imagination was running around like that.

You'd come back to yourself with your mouth partially open, to which you close it, feeling dread that you might have slipped up.

Oh god, what if you had said Joel's name out loud or something, you couldn't imagine a worse, worse case scenario than your boss finding out about your little crush by overhearing you frigging yourself.

Your knees clap together as you roll over your side, face in your hands as embarrassment flows over you.

What were you doing? Touching yourself imaging your boss fucking you, a thing that most people would agree isn't exactly grade A morals. You let your orgasm fade out and feel the last unsure thumps in your pelvic floor ebb away, wishing it was getting caved in by a certain someone.

See? It's thoughts exactly like that cross the line.

You slap your sweaty palm to your forehead, trying to knock some sense back into you. You settle on your side, curled in the fetal position, knees pressed tightly together. Eyes shut, you will yourself to sleep. You have to be up early to get on the road to start your journey back to Wyoming. You really hope the next 10 hours of being stuck in a car with Joel won't involve you being extra squirmy, being pent up. You can feel how mad your pussy is, being that close to what had been an impeding incredible finish.

After a much too long of a time, you do fall asleep. Your last thoughts after an overwhelming race of them, was of course the one you spent the whole time trying not to think about.

What had Joel been doing up so late.

[autolenaphilia]

I finally finished Black Mesa, the 2020 remake of the original Half-life from 1998.

It really is an impressive achievement. It started as a fan-lead project to remake the original Half-Life in the Source engine used in Half-life 2. Valve had their own source engine port of the game in 2004, but it was a basic port that didn’t take advantage of the engine and pretty much made the game worse, due to adding bugs. So fans decided that year to do what Valve did not, and do a proper remake. The result was Black Mesa. The first release was as a free mod in 2012, which contained a remake of all the chapters actually set in Black Mesa. The developers Crowbar Collective got official blessing from to release it on Steam as a commercial product, which happened in 2015, still without the Xen chapters of the original, so it was an early access title. But after several years of development, the Xen chapters was added as a beta in 2019, and the game finally fully released in 2020, after about 16 years of development. It’s an incredible story alone.

It also got a native linux version, which is nice.

And the end result is a very slick, professional product. It’s far more than a graphical update, but often redesigns both the story and the level design.

It’s remarkably faithful at times, the game plays pretty much the same as the original, there are no modern fps mechanics. And I was surprised at the first-person platforming, a controversial part of the original game, is not only there in Black Mesa, but expanded upon. There is a lot of silly platforming design in Half-Life, like the crates hanging over a bottomless pit, the rivers of radioactive green goo, the ridiculous waste processing plant in the chapter Residue Processing, that is still there in Black Mesa. Xen was a platforming extravaganza in the original, and it is in Black Mesa too, and it’s even longer and more involved. And honestly I kinda liked the platforming more than the original. There are some quality of life changes, like simplified long jump controls and automated crouch jumping as an option, and some solid redesign to make it less frustrating.

Still there are major changes, and I was most impressed by the changes in how the story is conveyed. There is so much added to the story to make it more detailed and vivid. So many details are added, big and small. There is lots more npc dialogue, often specific to various situations. There is an incentive to keep guards and scientists alive, they will reward you with special dialogue for doing so. You can catch emergency radio broadcasts on radios that give you a picture of how the invasion is proceeding outside the Black Mesa research facility, something the original doesn’t give you a picture of. And in Xen, the situation of the vortigaunts being enslaved and forced to fight, hinted at in the original and explained in the sequel, is expanded upon and shown more vividly. There is even a new combat mechanic, where the alien controllers from the original now literally control the vortigaunts forcing them to attack you. Human intrusion into Xen is expanded upon as well, including hev suit-wearing headcrab zombies.

I really like the story changes, and I do think they meaningfully add to the story without making it a different one. The general idea is to make Half-life’s story more in-tune with Half-life 2 and its episodes, and it succeeds at that.

The level design varies in fidelity to the original. Sometimes it’s remarkably faithful, recreating large parts of the original levels, sometimes it’s radically different, bearing only similarity to the original at certain points. It’s most obvious in “On a Rail” which has been cut down and rearranged, and in the Xen chapters of the game. Xen has been much expanded upon, and radically redesigned. It’s the length of a full game, and took me about six hours to beat. It’s probably a bit over-long, the three levels seem to meander forever sometimes, but it’s good.

The revamped level design often takes inspiration from HL2 and its episodes, which makes it feel more coherent with the franchise. There are cable puzzles inspired by the episodes, for example.

The graphical update honestly was the bit that least impressed me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s impressive as a technical achivement, and Black Mesa can often be a very pretty game. It pushes the Source engine farther than its creators ever did. It does however demand more of the hardware than Valve’s Source games do, the system requirements are way higher than for Half-life 2 or the Portal games. And due to the game it is remaking it has to spend most of all that graphical firepower on rendering rather plain corridors, tunnels and offices. In the original Half-life, Black Mesa the facility is deliberately a drab place, with lots of quotidian details like coffee cups and office chairs to convey a sense of realism in spite of the graphical limitations and the sometimes outlandish level design.

And now Black Mesa can render its namesake facility in realistic detail, you can pick up the chairs and coffee cups now and throw them, because we now have physics. But that’s the problem with “more realistic” graphics, what is realistic is often not very visually interesting. It’s the story and level design changes that justify Black Mesa more so than the graphical update.

It’s illustrative that Black Mesa gets most visually interesting, can most justify its graphical hardware requirements, is when it abandons realism and the art design of the original game for the “Xen” chapter. Xen in Half-life was a very drab place as well, barren rocks floating in space. In Black Mesa, Xen is reimagined as this lush, surreal Roger-Deaneque Alien world, teeming with vegetation, water and wildlife. It has great art design and it is beautiful to look at. It is a welcome break from both the sterile human-made artificial environment that precedes it and the H.R Gigeresque alien factory environments that follow.

I have to talk about the music too, because Black Mesa’s composer follows a different philosophy from the original. Kelly Bailey’s music for the original game is very low-key, it’s quiet and ambient. In fact, any kind of conventional music is mostly absent for long stretches, replaced by quiet or sound ambience. The stretches of silence are still there in Black Mesa, but composer Joel Nielsen’s music is not quiet at all. In fact it’s outright bombastic at times, setting big firefight setpieces to rock guitar to convey how badass things are. Xen has Nielsen conveying the eerie beauty of the place with wailing woman vocals similar to Lisa Gerrard’s work on the Gladiator (2000) soundtrack. It’s well-done, but it establishes a very different musical idiom for Black Mesa than the original. It's more in tune with Bailey's more bombastic musical moments from later HL games like the hospital fight from HL2: EP1.

So while Black Mesa often remains remarkably faithful to its source material, I don’t think it replaces it. It’s a different game, a remake than a remaster. The differences do often help it rather than hinder it, and justify its existence when we already have Half-life.

But it’s no drop-in replacement for the original classic. The system requirements alone make it less accessible than the original Half-life. And Half-life is an objectively important game for its influence on other games, that Black Mesa can’t hope to replicate, and it’s a classic that you can still play with full enjoyment even today. Still Black Mesa does keep the core of what made Half-life so good to begin with. Intelligent, immersive and subtle storytelling mixed with engaging action and intuitive level design. Black Mesa is in that regard an excellent remake.

[etherfabric]

Personal Message, but hopefully still helpful

How many things did you tell yourself were off limits? That you just couldn't do them? What if I told you... maybe you just told yourself the emotions arising during those things were off limits.

Take me for example. When I had my breakdown a few years ago, I lost the ability to cook for myself. Luckily I am blessed with a very supportive partner who took care of that as long as I needed (and still does 95% of the time), but today I made a discovery: I had a huge blockage towards cooking because my past trauma around it couldn't be surpressed any longer, and the emotions flooding my body were unbearable. But I didn't call it "emotions" back then. It felt more mental, more neurological. I felt doomed. But in my case, it was a message from the past, waiting for me to be ready to listen.

My mother never taught me much, but loved humiliating me for my lack of domestic skills. If I had a particularly daring day and tried to cook myself a meal, of course she would attack me. I could never defend myself, or the attacks would get worse. So I surpressed a whole lot of anger, and underneath that, deep heartbreak and sadness.

Today I allowed myself to peel potatoes angrily. It felt so uncomfortable, like my nerves were being stretched beyond their limits, but I didn't have the brain freeze I felt before whenever trying to cook something. The more I allowed the anger and sadness to take up space, the easier the peeling became. I realized: The blockage was me surpressing the emotions attached to cooking, not cooking itself. As soon as I adjusted my expectations - I won't feel happy while doing it - I could do a little. Not near as much as I could do when the surpression was still in full action and I was running on pure adrenaline, but much more than in the last few years.

Of course I was fucking exhausted afterwards. But then I got a craving for something sweet (I quit sugar a few days ago) and couldn't shake it. So I looked up an easy sugarfree cookie recipe. Guess who got the oven running right now, using those 25 minutes backing time for a little trauma dumpy writing exercise? This fella right here.

I just felt the need to express that. I know I present myself as a tarot page, but I love tarot because of its ability to lead to self mastery, and that is a little step in my journey, just withouth the cards (though I pulled a few for myself just to get going with the writing.) This experience felt the right mix of mundane and profound to hopefully help another person.

The next time you feel like you can't do something you want to do: What if you subconsciously only allow certain emotions during that thing, and they are not your authentic standpoint towards it? Can you find alignment, a mindset that allows both the thing happening and the emotions during it?

Honestly, I think I just found a great release for pent up anger and tears. So what if I am grinding my teeth while making cookies. Not everyone can affort a good therapist. And I get a snack as a reward afterwards. There is a certain beauty in it I wanted to emphasize for myself by putting it into words.

[catgirlforkaeya]

ARE THEY A SWIFTIE ?

various characters

headcanons of genshin characters i believe would listen to taylor swift along with their favorite songs and/or album

modern au

disclaimer: some of these may not be 100% accurate, it’s just for fun don’t get mad if your fav isn’t on here. i didn’t include every single character, so if ppl want i will do a part 2. also sorry if i picked the more “known”-songs, i’m drained from today and just going off the top of my head rn

a/n: in honor of me getting tickets to the eras tour today i decided to do this!! :D god bless my mom for sitting in the queue for 6 hours, i’ve been a taylor fan since red came out this is huge for me

kaeya

• starting off w my fav, of COURSE he would be a taylor swift stan. would be very vocal about it and not ashamed whatsoever. was def in the top 1% to listen to midnights upon its release

fav song: you’re on your own, kid + no body, no crime + wonderland

fav album: reputation + midnights

—

childe

• i can definitely see him being one. he wouldn’t be as open about it like kaeya but he enjoys the music. his little siblings probably introduced him to it 😭😭

fav song: anti hero + innocent

fav album: midnights

—

thoma

• absolutely 100% a swiftie, not a doubt about it. when he’s doing chores around the house he’d definitely have a playlist of her songs for it

fav song: message in a bottle

fav album: red + 1989 + lover (he can’t pick)

—

itto

• something about this man just SCREAMS swiftie. idk how to explain it but i’m right idc. he wouldn’t be a hardcore stan but wouldn’t just be a normal fan. he’s somewhere in the middle. he’d also def be a fan of her more up-beat albums, so like red, 1989, lover, those genres

fav song: all you had to do was stay + style

fav album: 1989

—

al-haitham

• this is probably ooc but idc he would be a swiftie, argue with a wall. kaveh yells at him to turn the music down but does he listen? no. and honestly good for him (he slowly turns kaveh into one too)

fav song: i did something bad + out of the woods

fav album: reputation + midnights

—

lisa

• lisa is a powerful woman so of course she’d love taylor. probably grew up with the music and fought for her life back in 2015-2017 when the world suddenly turned on taylor

fav song: last great american dynasty + tolerate it

fav album: folklore + evermore

—

mona

• i don’t have much to say about my reasoning behind mona, she just fits the vibe y’know? probably also fought for her life alongside lisa

fav song: starlight + enchanted + the lakes

fav album: speak now

—

amber

• same as mona, she just fits the energy. i can see her being like itto where she’s kinda in the middle of how much of a swiftie

fav song: wonderland + cornelia street

fav album: 1989 + lover

—

barbara

• a swiftie but she prefers the more country music albums over the pop ones

fav song: should’ve said no + the best day

fav album: debut + fearless

—

rosaria

• at first she was iffy about the music because let’s be honest, rosaria probably isn’t a huge pop music fan. but kaeya and/or barbara probably played it enough to the point she made herself listen and liked it

fav song: i did something bad + look what you made me do

fav album: reputation

—

keqing

• a swiftie but she’s very quiet about it bc she doesn’t wanna get judged even though everyone around her probably also is a fan

fav song: lavender haze + karma

fav album: midnights

—

ganyu

• same as keqing she’s quiet about it. definitely also listens to it whilst she’s doing whatever work she has though

fav song: paper rings + mad woman

fav album: lover

—

xinyan

• how could i not include the music queen herself?? xinyan probably wouldn’t have any preference as to what type of genre she likes, so she’s happy to listen to any taylor song

fav song: the way i loved you + coney island + wildest dreams

fav album: any and all

—

yae miko

• i love yae but she’d be one of those long-time swifties who are honestly scary. not in a bad way, she’s just the type to have been there through every era so she’s considered ancient in terms of stan wise

fav song: midnight rain + the man + don’t blame me

fav album: lover + midnights

—

kokomi

• also like yae, a long-time swiftie but not as intimidating. she probably bought extra tickets to give people who couldn’t get in because she just seems nice like that

fav song: all you had to do was stay + the great war

fav album: 1989 + evermore + lover

—

nilou

• in a modern au nilou would 100% create dances to taylor songs, probably posts them on tiktok and the dance goes viral too

fav song: dancing with our hands tied + this is me trying

fav album: speak now + red + midnights

—

layla

• mona probably introduced her to the music and she fell down a rabbit hole and became a major swiftie. fought for her life to get into the presale for eras tour too

fav song: snow on the beach + never grow up + tolerate it

fav album: 1989 + lover + folklore

© all rights reserved to catgirlforkaeya. reposting, plagiarizing, modifying, and translating is NOT allowed.

[themattress]

Unpopular Opinion Re:Pokemon

So, after a long time and a lot of hard work, we finally have the scripts to the legendary lost Best Wishes anime two-parter, “Team Rocket VS. Team Plasma!”  We’ve got the whole story.

I wish the 3/11 disaster had never happened...mostly because so many people would still be alive today and so much damage to Japan would not exist, but also because these episodes could have aired. And I wish the staff’s original plan for the overarching story for Best Wishes based on the Black/White games could have come to pass, as it would have been amazing.

However, in the end these wishes are hollow Ideals, and we have to face the harsh Truth. And part of this Truth is that Game Freak passed on doing a Gray version in favor of doing Black 2/White 2, which means the staff’s plan was going to be scuttled regardless of whether the 3/11 disaster transpired or not. They would’ve done Episode N and just placed Reshiram putting a halt to N’s coronation in the present day rather than two years prior. So that’s why....

....I’m kind of, sort of glad that “Team Rocket VS. Team Plasma!” never aired.

Don’t get me wrong! The executives in Japan not allowing the full episodes to be released in any capacity in favor of remaining Lost Media just because their events no longer line up with subsequent canon is stupid. They have lots of grown-up viewers who understand the facts and still won’t mind...heck, probably lots of kids as well! However, the episodes not being broadcast and being relegated to a nebulous space in Japanese canon ended up working to the series’ advantage when Tomioka and the other writers were freed up to recycle elements from them. Most specifically, in the Operation Tempest two-parter, which is honestly an even better pair of episodes than “Team Rocket VS. Team Plasma!” and I just have a hard time imagining them in any form other than the one they’re in now. If not for what transpired with “Team Rocket VS. Team Plasma!”, we might have never been blessed with this scene:

Pikachu using a giant Electro Ball on a nuclear space rock just doesn’t hit the same way that him using it on Giovanni, the leader of Team Rocket whom Ash had never faced up until now and whom had always doubted Pikachu’s abilities when Jessie, James and Meowth talked them up. Pikachu doing it to save not only the entire Unova region but also Meloetta, a character that we’ve come to love and care about, is also far more dramatically satisfying.

Really, I’m more sore about how the show’s third year turned out due to Junichi Masuda’s Gen VI-related meddling (since it really should have been something more like this) than I am about “Team Rocket VS. Team Plasma!” and the intended arc it was setting up. As great as it would have been to see, it just wasn’t in the cards and, unlike said Gen VI-related meddling with the third year, I don’t believe that Best Wishes suffered all that much from its removal.

Tl;dr - I’m honestly kind of cool with this as all we have now.