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#its not about wanting to hurt others. its about ignoring when you do when its in service to yourself
fandoms-x-reader · 1 day
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Period Cramps
Requested By: @olivia-willo-w
Summary: The brothers find out (thanks to Satan) what a period is and try to help you through yours. The Seven Demon Brothers x Reader Word Count: 2,257
Periods are something that has become so normalized in the human world. 
It's a natural thing that happens to women and it shouldn’t be something to be embarrassed about.
But, in the Devildom, the only other human you had was a male. 
There was no one down there who would understand the process your body goes through once a month.
And that made it hard to talk about it.
You figured it would just be easier to keep them in the dark rather than try and explain it.
But, sometimes when you're on your period, it had a mind of its own.
You were having a bad cramp while at dinner with the brothers and you did your best to hide your pain.
But, Satan could tell you were in pain and he was worried about you. Not to mention, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to show his brothers how smart he was.
See, Satan was your resident human expert.
When he found out that a human was coming to live with him and his brothers, he read every book he could find about humans and when he was done with those, he grabbed all of the specific books about females.
He wanted to know everything he could before you got down there.
So, when you were having your period in the Devildom, Satan immediately knew what was happening and was well-versed in the subject.
You had all of the tell-tale signs - mood swings, food cravings, headaches, bloating.
Whatever symptom you had, it pointed to it being your time of the month.
There was a conversation already going on amongst his brothers, but Satan ignored it in favor of asking you, “Are you on your period?”
Everyone froze in place at Satan’s question and your face burned a bright red as all of the attention was on you. Who just asks a personal question like that?!
Satan didn’t mean any disrespect. The way it was presented to him in the books was as a natural, common thing that all women go through. So he didn’t you would have any reason to be embarrassed about it.
And maybe if he had approached you about it on his own, things would have been different. But he just blurted the question out…in front of everyone…in the middle of dinner.
Before you could even respond, Mammon asked, “What’s a period?” And your cheeks felt even hotter as you began to slowly sink down in your chair, wishing you could disappear from this conversation.
“You don’t know?” Asmo asked with a glint in his eyes. Of course, the Avatar of Lust would know what a period is. Considering the amount of human women he had probably met you were sure he was as knowledgeable as Satan was about it.
But there was no way the fourth-born would allow his little brother to take his thunder. “Allow me to explain,” Satan stated.
And for the next few torturous minutes, you had to uncomfortably sit there as Satan explained what a period was in vivid detail.
You watched the brothers’ faces go through a whirlwind of reactions until they were all left sitting there speechless and somewhat bothered.
“Well?” Lucifer’s question broke the silence and you turned to face the eldest. He was making eye contact with you and he continued to ask, “Are you?”
“Is that why you look like you’re in pain?” Belphie asked. “Wait, do periods hurt?” Beel questioned in response.
“Do all female normies go through that?” Levi questioned, his cheeks threatening to burn as bright as yours at the question.
Your cramps weren’t backing down and you were feeling more than overwhelmed at the sudden bombardment and soon everything felt like it was too much.
“I think I’ll skip dinner tonight,” you stated plainly before abruptly getting up from the table and making your way to the bedroom.
The brothers watched you leave, confused and worried about you. Was it something they said? Or was it because you weren’t feeling well?
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Lucifer was in a state of surprise when you left the dining room table.
He knew about periods, and he knew it was something female humans experienced.
But, it wasn’t something he had prepared for.
In all of the things that he had done and gathered to ensure you would have everything you need for your stay in the Devildom, that had somehow slipped his mind.
It took him a moment to gather his bearings before going to check on you.
He showed up to your room with a glass of water and medicine to help with your cramps.
He gave you a small smile when you gratefully took the medicine and allowed him in your room.
He looked a little lost, unsure of how exactly to help you. But, if you tell him what you need, he will move heaven and earth to make sure you get it.
You were his responsibility after all. He couldn’t disappoint Diavolo by allowing you to be in pain. And he couldn’t trust his brothers to do a good enough job.
Or maybe - just maybe - he wanted to be the one who took care of you.
Either way, he won’t leave your side for the rest of the night, and if you show any sign of discomfort, he’ll find a way to soothe you.
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Mammon was still freaking out about all of the information he had obtained that night.
Periods sounded awful and he couldn’t believe that it was something that happened to female humans - every month.
Mammon was trying to process everything when you left the table and that’s when his mind went from his own train of thought to you.
From all of the facts he was told, one stood out more than the others - you were in pain.
And Mammon was supposed to protect you, so he couldn’t have that.
He excused himself from the dinner table as well before quickly doing a search on his D.D.D. to find out ways to help you.
About a half an hour later, Mammon showed up at your bedroom door, his arms full of miscellaneous objects.
He had everything he could think of - a heating pad, pain medicine, chocolate, and your favorite snacks.
He wasn’t sure what out of those items would help, but he hoped at least one of them would.
He also offered to stay in your room that night and watch a movie with you, which inevitably ended in you falling asleep in his arms, while he held you close.
Mammon is just happy that you felt safe enough with him to let him help you when you’re in this vulnerable stage.
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It is a known fact that Levi panics in intense situations.
And you abruptly leaving the dinner table was something he would classify as an intense situation.
He didn't necessarily understand all of the intricacies of your period, but he did know that he wanted to help.
Levi didn't have any idea where to start, so he went to his default of bringing videogames and DVDs to your room.
You bit back a chuckle as you opened the door and saw Levi struggling to hold everything he brought.
You let him inside, grateful of the fact that he was trying and Levi quickly got to work setting up yours and his favorite game.
The fun that you were having with Levi was enough to distract you from the pain of your period cramps.
But that didn't stop him from checking in - quite often - and asking if you were alright.
Levi offered to get you food, something to drink, medicine - anything you would need.
And if you did ask him for something, he moved faster than you'd ever seen to get it back to you promptly.
He may not be an expert in what was going on with you, but he would do just as good of a job as any of the others when it came to comforting you.
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As stated, Satan was an expert on everything to do with your period before you even got it.
He didn't need to search anything up or refer to his books.
He figured this would happen sooner rather than later and he was prepared for it.
Like Mammon, Satan gets everything you need. But, unlike Mammon, it’s all already prepared in an emergency kit that he’s kept in his room.
Satan grabbed the bag and went to your room in a matter of moments.
When you opened the door, Satan offered you a brief apology about the events that occurred at dinner. He felt guilty about putting you on the spot like that.
But, he offered to make it up to you by helping relieve your pain.
When you allowed him in, Satan was as strict as a doctor, almost in an overbearing way.
He gave you the medicine to take and instructed you to lay in a way that allowed for the ideal positioning of the heating pad.
And even if it wasn’t the way you wanted to lay, when the heating pad started working, you were thankful for Satan’s expertise.
He stayed with you for the rest of the night, sitting next to you and gently running his fingers through your hair as he read one of your favorite books to you.
It ends up being much more comforting than you would have expected from the Avatar of Wrath.
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Asmo may not be like Satan or Lucifer in knowing all about a human period.
But he has had his fair share of experience with it.
And he’s a pro at rest and relaxation.
Asmo let you calm down in your room for a little bit while he set things up in own room. 
He was sure you were upset at all of them for bombarding you at dinner like that.
But, he was hoping that you would let him help you anyway.
When he was ready, he asked you to join him in his room, and after promising he wouldn’t try anything risque, you agreed to go.
When you got to his room, you were met with an overwhelming aroma of essential oils and the sound of soft music playing.
The lights were dimmed so that the room was bright enough to see, but dark enough to relax.
Under normal circumstances, you would have assumed that Asmo was trying to come on to you, but he had promised he just wanted to help.
He led you to his bed and asked for permission to give you a massage.
Being the Avatar of Lust, Asmo’s knows the human body very well, and he knew every technique and every spot that needed to relax, and you felt all of your tension release and your cramps subside.
Asmo had a small smile on his face as you slowly drifted off after feeling relaxed enough.
He would always be there to help pamper you whenever you needed it.
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Beel was a bit confused when you left the table.
He didn’t really understand the gravity of the situation. 
And so, playing to his kind and innocent nature, Beel thought something was wrong with the dinner.
He quietly finished the food on his plate before disappearing from the House of Lamentation. 
When he came back, he went directly to your room with bags full of all of your favorite food. No one should skip dinner.
You had to keep yourself from laughing as Beel explained why he brought all of your favorite food and you invited him in to share the food with you.
Beel noticed the pained expression you flashed every so often and when you told him about your period cramps and how that was the reason you left dinner early, Beel wanted to do everything he could to help.
He immediately engulfed you into his arms, holding you tightly into him as his hands rubbed soothing circles onto your back.
You felt your pain slowly going away as Beel’s body warmth underneath you acted as a heating pad and his hands relieved any tension you were holding.
He might not know exactly how to help you, but he’s just as effective in soothing your cramps nonetheless.
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Belphie's help almost always came with a witty remark or some teasing no matter who you were or what the situation was.
But, for this particular situation, Belphie tried to be on his best behavior.
From what he heard, this was a hard time for you and he was certain the wrong remark would set you off.
So, he played especially nice.
He came to your room and asked you if there was anything he could do to help.
When you let him in, he asked a few questions about your period and got you a few things.
But, if that doesn't help, Belphie will escalate things.
When most people think of the Avatar of Sloth, they only think about him sleeping a lot.
They don't often recognize the power he had over other people's sleep.
And if you continue to be in pain throughout the night, Belphie will reach a point where he believes sleep is the only way to help you.
And it will be the best sleep of your life, full of amazing dreams to keep any pain of your cramps far away from you.
Naturally, Belphie will spend the night in your room, cuddling you.
But it's just to make sure you get a restful sleep the whole night!
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son1c · 8 hours
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part 2 of my sonic x dungeon meshi crossover is finally here!! read part 1 if you haven't already and please enjoy 🐉
Something was wrong. Even with his eyes closed, Sonic knew that. It felt like something was poking around inside of his head, its ghastly claws sinking into his delicate brain-meat, and it hurt! In fact, the relentless jabbing was more than just painful; it unnerved him, its apparent wrongness causing his stomach to twist and turn as if to say, Get out!
So, Sonic scrunched up his nose and did something. 
What did he do? How did he do it? These questions weren’t important to Sonic. All that mattered to him was that it worked. As soon as he gathered his strength, the intruder retreated. It took Sonic’s soon-to-be migraine headache along with it, leaving Sonic to exhale in relief. 
Good riddance, he thought.
Then, Sonic opened his eyes.
Surrounding him were the rolling fields of Green Hill. The grass swayed in a gentle breeze and the sky was a perfect blue. Sonic looked around, but there didn’t seem to be any Flickies nearby, because he couldn’t hear their telltale song. In fact, other than the wind, it was completely silent, almost like the whole world had just two occupants: him and the creature laying across his legs.
"Well, then," the creature--a winged lion--mused, its voice pleasant. "How did you do that, I wonder?"
Sonic blinked. He realized he couldn't feel his legs and tried to move out from under the lion, but couldn't. Frustrated, he asked, "Mind gettin' off me?"
The lion sighed. "I'm afraid I can't." Sonic opened his mouth to protest, but the lion continued, "A powerful spell has bound us together. But enough about that. I'm much more curious about you."
"Me?"
"Oh, yes. You."
Sonic didn't like the look in the lion's eyes. They sparkled, not unkindly, but not in a way he found particularly trustworthy, either. "First," Sonic said slowly, "you tell me something."
The lion smiled. "Of course," it replied. "Anything."
"What were you doin' in my head?"
The lion's eyes grew wide. "Ah, so the cat’s out of the bag, is it?" When Sonic frowned, the lion went on to say, "I was looking for something. I'm surprised you were able to tell--usually, no one notices." Tilting its head, the lion asked, bemused, "But you're not of the usual sort, are you?"
Sonic's eyes narrowed. Looking for something? He didn't like the sound of that! "Not cool, dude," he said, ignoring the lion's comment about him being weird. "You have a mouth, right? If there's something you wanna know, use it and ask!"
"Fair enough," the lion conceded. Then, it set its large head down on Sonic's chest. "For what it's worth, your mind shut me out quickly. A passing glance is all I managed to capture before you overwhelmed me." The lion paused. "Yes, you're truly unusual."
Sonic bristled. He was liking this guy less and less by the minute. "What, you thought I'd roll over and let you take whatever you wanted? Not a chance!" He tried to shove the lion's head off him and sit up, but couldn't. The lion's skull was like a cinder block that'd been bolted to his rib cage and it refused to budge.
Irritated (and beginning to feel a little claustrophobic), Sonic spat, "Just who are you?"
The lion's smile returned. "Me?" Its yellow eyes flashed. "Hmm. Right now, I suppose I'm you."
The grass stilled as the breeze died. But Sonic wasn't afraid.
"So much for a lion!" Sonic sneered. "You're more like a copycat. All roar, no bite, I'll bet!"
"An imitation has no appeal to me," the lion replied smoothly. "What I'm really after is happiness. Now, it's my turn. So, please, tell me: what do you desire?"
Sonic gritted his teeth. The wall he'd unknowingly constructed to keep the lion out of his mind grew stronger with his determination. Then, with both hands, he grabbed the lion's head and lifted it off of his chest. Finally, he was able to sit up, although his legs still felt tingly.
"Such willpower!" the lion said, delighted.
Sonic furrowed his brow. After a moment, he let go of the lion's head and muttered, "What's with you? First you wanna know about my desires, then you're happy when I fight back?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I don't get you at all."
Chuckling, the lion replied, "The chase sweetens the prize."
Sonic snorted. "If all you want is to make me happy, that's easy. Just get off me!"
Instead, the lion curled up on Sonic's legs and closed its eyes. "I like you," it said, almost absentmindedly. "You're interesting. Indeed, anyone else would've folded to my vast consciousness. But there you are, still here."
Sonic didn't really understand what the lion was saying, but it made him angry anyway. "I'll never fold to you!"
A lazy grin played on the lion's lips. "Then we'll have to share. After all, you won't be going anywhere without my legs." Cracking an eye open, the lion added, "Although, you may find your heart has shifted once you wake. The Lord of the Dungeon's blood flows through it now..."
Sonic squeezed his eyes shut in exasperation. This whole conversation was so confusing!
Suddenly, Green Hill began to fade. Literally--the world around them was melting away into nothing. Before it disappeared completely, the lion said, "Good luck, Sonic."
//
Thistle inspected the gauntlet Sonic had surrendered to him with an impatient sort of fervor. He looked at each finger, the thumb, and the palm, but still didn’t find what he was looking for. So much of his focus was devoted to searching for the inscription he knew to be there–somewhere–that he didn’t notice the lion chimera peering over his shoulder until their faces were practically touching. 
Thistle jumped. “Stay back!” he snapped, a bead of sweat rolling down his neck.
Sonic blinked, surprised by the mage’s outburst. But then he huffed and did as he was told.
"You hurt his feelings," Merlina told Thistle.
"It doesn't have feelings," Thistle replied automatically. Once he was sure Sonic wasn’t going to sneak up on him again, he began prying a screw loose from the gauntlet with his fingernails. Maybe the inscription was hidden underneath the plating?
Merlina put her hands on her hips. "Oh, certainly not the demon. But what of the hedgehog?"
Thistle didn't look up. "What of him?"
Merlina bit her lip. She didn't like how dismissive Thistle was, but it would be suspicious for her to care about Sonic like a friend, when they were supposed to be strangers. Still, when she looked over at the lion chimera, she couldn't help the ache in her chest, because it was her summoning spell that had brought him here in the first place. Though, her plan had gone awry.
In the end, Merlina simply turned away from Sonic and said to Thistle, "Nothing. Have you found the inscription yet?"
Thistle ignored her. But if he’d responded, it probably would've been something along the lines of, No. Or, No, obviously. Or maybe even, No, and you're not helping, so be quiet!
In response to his silence, Merlina turned up her nose. If he was going to be rude, then so be it, but as a member of the King's Court, she was above such petulant behavior! For that reason, Merlina chose to return his silence in kind. 
Truly, the irony was palpable… 
If Sonic had been listening to their conversation, he would’ve rolled his eyes. But he wasn’t listening, because he was more focused on his paws–all four of them. 
Leaning over, Sonic stared down at his two front paws with wide eyes. A strange feeling filled his chest as he watched the moonlight shine through his gray fur. He knew without touching it that his fur was rough, like a nice winter coat, and that his dark claws could tear through even the toughest armor.
He tapped one of his toes. The sensation of his claw scraping against the dirt confirmed that what he was seeing was real, but it didn’t make the strange feeling in his chest any less strange. Like a boulder, or maybe a whole mountain’s worth of cascading rocks, it weighed heavily on Sonic’s chest. And it only grew stronger as he continued to look down at the feet that didn’t feel like his own.
Finally, Sonic looked away from his paws. He couldn't bear to see them anymore, since they were making his head hurt. Was he angry? Was he happy? The strange, seemingly contradictory feelings pounded against his skull like a jackhammer, threatening to split his head in two.
That’s not me, he thought. That can’t be me.
In desperation, Sonic looked this way and that, trying to find something--anything--to ease the pain. But everything he saw only made it worse. The feathers covering his chest and arms, the dragon with a human head, the she-mage Merlina. They all served to further his confusion until eventually, he turned his attention toward the only thing he had left to turn to: Thistle.
Instantly, a wave of calm rushed in. It washed away all other feelings and rid the lion chimera of his headache. He blinked slowly. His strange body didn’t bother him so much now. No, it didn’t bother him at all. His quills relaxed and his feathers laid flat, all because of that wicked glass vial, containing none other than a drop of the mad mage’s blood.
The winged lion had been right about Sonic’s heart. 
Now, Sonic cared only for the Lord of the Dungeon.
“There you are,” Thistle hissed. He’d finally pried the plating off Sonic’s gauntlet. Between his thumb and forefinger, he held up a single iron strip to examine under the light of the moon. The glyphs glinted with an unmistakable power, their carving as masterful as he’d expected, each stroke etched perfectly into the metal. “I knew the Great Wizard Merlin’s work hadn’t been lost. With this, I’ll finally be able to…”
“There are still more fragments to be found,” Merlina interrupted, looking uncomfortable. “Or have you forgotten?”
Scowling, Thistle pocketed the iron strip before discarding the rest of Sonic’s gauntlet. It fell to the grass with a muted thunk.
Sonic cocked his head and gave the gauntlet a brief glance, but quickly lost interest. He felt nothing at the sight of its mangled corpse and forgot about it as soon as he looked away. Yawning, the lion chimera closed his eyes and began to think about blueberries…
It was then that the dragon chimera approached. Her heavy footsteps caused the earth itself to tremble as if in warning while her long tail swished behind her, slow and steady. She peered down at Sonic, her bright yellow eyes standing out against the shadows of her face, her expression unreadable.
Sonic cracked one eye open to look at her. Her size failed to intimidate him, and her pinprick pupils drew another yawn from Sonic. If she thought he would be impressed by her Studio Trigger shading, she had another thing coming! But right as Sonic was about to go back to daydreaming, he caught sight of the red splatter on her huge dragon hand, and his nose twitched.
Heedless to the danger, Sonic got close enough to her hand to touch the splatter. It was dry and cracking but still smelled familiar, although something about it wasn’t quite right, like a latte with the wrong kind of milk, or a chili dog without the chili.
Just when Sonic was about to take a step back, he found himself being picked up by the human hands of the dragon chimera. At first, he squirmed, his wings flapping uselessly in an attempt to get away. But then he looked up at the dragon chimera’s face and stopped.
She no longer looked like she belonged in a suspect lineup for the critically acclaimed 2023 game, The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog. Instead, her features had softened to a more natural state, and Sonic couldn’t help but think that she looked too kind to be a dragon. 
“You’re,” Falin started to say, her voice strained, “just a… child…?”
Sonic wanted to fire back with a witty retort, but when he opened his mouth, he found it hard to say anything. It was like there was a weight pushing against his throat that hadn’t been there before, making even simple sounds difficult. Clearing his throat didn’t solve the problem, which irritated him, but he wasn’t a quitter, so he forced the words out anyway.
“Nnnothin’... ‘just’... about it!”
Then, with his back paws, Sonic pushed off against the dragon chimera’s feathery abdomen and flipped out of her grasp. He landed on the ground with Olympic grace, rubbing his nose with his thumb as he grinned up at her. But his throat was shredded from just those four words, so he let his actions speak for themselves. 
The dragon chimera, in all her mid-20s wisdom, knew that Sonic was trying to look cool. So, she clapped her hands together and smiled at him, because who was she to deny him of that? She’d already killed him once. Instead of sulking about what had been, unbeknownst to her at the time, a cold-blooded child murder, she found it much more productive to be supportive.
Now that Sonic smelled like the Lord of the Dungeon, there was no need for Falin to commit double child homicide, anyway.
Hurray!
“Dragon,” Thistle said, commanding both her and Sonic’s attention. “The next artifact awaits. Quickly, now. We mustn’t keep Delgal waiting.”
As the dragon chimera shuffled over to Thistle, Sonic’s keen eyes noticed something. Inside Thistle’s chest, another blueberry had formed, and it sat, radiating warmth right next to the mad mage’s heart. Sonic remembered the irresistible taste of the first blueberry he’d eaten and before he knew it, he was moving, running past the dragon chimera and straight at Thistle.
In turn, Thistle held up one of his hands and demanded, “Stop!”
Sonic skidded to a halt. He barely managed to avoid plowing into Thistle, his nose mere inches away from the mad mage’s outstretched palm. Impatiently, Sonic ruffled his wings. The delicious blueberry was so close now. It was making his mouth water.
“You’re more useful to me in this form than as a book,” Thistle said. “But if you start acting as you did before, it won’t matter. I’ll return you to the pages. Understand?”
Sonic didn’t understand. He had no idea what Thistle was talking about. Still, he really wanted that blueberry. So, he flashed Thistle a thumbs up and gave the mad mage a toothy grin. 
At this, Thistle wrinkled his nose. “Perhaps your other head was best,” he muttered. Then, he straightened his face and put his hands on his hips. “I want to gather all the artifacts before two week’s time. The next one isn’t far, but we shall need to…”
To be honest, Sonic stopped listening after Thistle said “I want.” Because when those two words were uttered, the blueberry in the mad mage’s chest grew a little bigger, and with it, the flavor grew a little stronger. In that moment, Sonic figured out how he’d be able to eat that blueberry, as well as every other blueberry that sprouted from Thistle’s heart. 
He’d make sure Thistle got everything he wanted. 
And in exchange, Sonic would eat the blueberries. 
//
Tails wasn’t worried about Sonic. He knew Sonic. Sonic was the coolest guy he’d ever met and stronger than most people could ever dream of. So, when Sonic was nowhere to be seen after Tails and the knights had finished off the last of the monsters, Tails figured he must still be fighting the dragon.
It was a big dragon, Tails reasoned. In fact, it was huge! And things only got that big if they had several hundred health points, right? By that logic, it made perfect sense that Sonic wasn’t back yet; it could take him all night to fell an enemy as ginormous as the red dragon! 
In the meantime, Tails focused on helping people who’d been hurt from the monster invasion. He pulled up his socks, spun his twin tails, and got to work surveying the area. He’d make sure no one was left alone in the rubble… which there was a lot of.
Tails shook his head. Restoration plans could wait. 
Sonic was counting on him to help these people right now!
It was a little hard to see through the haze of destroyed architecture, but not even the darkness of night could keep Tails from hearing the cries of two kids trapped under a broken food cart. With Percival’s help, Tails was able to pull the kids out from the wreckage and get them standing again. Then, he sent them off toward the castle where the rest of the townsfolk had gathered.
Lancelot wasn’t as content as Tails to simply let Sonic be, however. As Tails and the other knights helped the injured, Lancelot kept looking off toward the horizon until finally he said, “I’m going after him.”
Gawain scowled under his helmet. “You’re needed here, Sir Lancelot. Stay and help the people whose lives you’ve sworn to protect.���
Lancelot bristled. “Their safety is assured,” he said, his voice hard. “Unless I’m wrong to entrust them to your care?”
Gawain rose to his full height, but before he could draw his weapon, Percival moved in between him and Lancelot. “Now’s no time for a quarrel,” she interjected. “There’s much to do.” She spoke confidently, but the echo of her voice through the empty, damaged streets gave her words a more solemn gravitas. “With Prince Tails, that makes four of us. If we each tend to something, we can assure the continued safety of our kingdom and its people. As is our sworn duty.”
Gawain grumbled, knowing she was right.
Tails, meanwhile, blushed at the title Percival had unceremoniously bestowed upon him. If Sonic was uncomfortable being called a king, then Tails was embarrassed to be called a prince! 
“I’m going,” Lancelot said, looking directly at Gawain. “When I return, it will be with the king.”
“Wait,” Tails suddenly said, having regained his composure. “Sha–... um… Sir Lancelot, don’t go. I know you’re worried, but Sonic’ll be fine. He’s beat bigger bad guys than this before! Really.”
Lancelot’s intense stare caused Tails to fidget with his tails. But he had faith in his big bro, so he didn’t back down. “It’s just… Don’t you think we could use your help around here? Those monsters broke a lot of stuff, including the wall! What if more monsters get in? I really think we should fix it first. Before anyone goes anywhere, I mean.”
“The fox is right,” Gawain said. 
Lancelot turned away from Tails and the other two knights. It was impossible to see his face under the visor, but if Tails had to guess based on the hard line of his mouth, he probably didn’t look very happy right now.
“I want to see King Sonic’s return too,” Percival told Lancelot. “And we shall. After securing his people.”
The tension in the square was so thick, it could be sliced with a sword. But as the dust settled, so too did Lancelot’s frustration, and before long, he turned back toward the three of them. Curtly, he said, “One hour. That’s all I can spare.”
True to his word, Lancelot stayed to help Gawain, Percival, and Tails rescue the remaining townsfolk from precarious situations. (One of them had even gotten stuck inside a chimney somehow! After being freed, the man explained that he’d been trying to hide from the monsters, but didn’t realize how narrow a hiding spot he’d chosen until it was too late.) 
By the time half an hour had passed, every last person had been sent to the castle. That left just one thing: fixing the town’s outer wall.
The part of the wall where the red dragon had broken through was nothing more than piles of broken stone. The wall had crumbled completely, leaving a distinctly dragon-shaped hole behind, and creating an unwelcome window out into the dark forest on the other side.
If Tails had more time, he could’ve invented a contraption to fix the wall for them. Maybe some sort of brick flinger? Or a cement spitter? Unfortunately, he was in the Middle Ages, and he had no idea where to find the materials he’d need to build those things. So, that meant Plan B…
“Stand aside,” Lancelot suddenly said, startling Tails out of his reverie. 
Tails looked up at Lancelot, but the knight didn’t seem to be angry. In fact, he seemed determined, and so Tails did as he was asked. Though, his ears were perked in curiosity. The fox didn’t know much about Shadow, so he was interested to see what his doppelganger could do.
As it turned out, “what Lancelot could do” was fix the wall. Not only that, but he fixed the wall without lifting a single cinder block! He just drew a small, detailed circle into the dirt at the foot of the wall, and then burned it into the ground with the bottom of one of his jet shoes. Once the circle was aflame, it sent the stones in motion, seeming to reverse time until they all tumbled back into place, just like they’d been before the dragon had knocked them down.
Gawain rolled his eyes. “Show off,” he grumbled.
“Wow!” Tails said, his eyes sparkling. “That was amazing! How’d you do that?”
Lancelot didn’t look at Tails when he replied tersely, “I learned it from my mother.”
Tails raised an eyebrow, but before he could comment, Percival set a hand on Lancelot’s shoulder. “Thank you for your help, Sir Lancelot,” she said. “Now, I believe you have somewhere else to be. Sir Gawain and I will await your return with King Sonic.”
Gawain looked like he wanted to protest, but thought better of it when Percival shot him a glare so withering, its heat could be felt even through her visor. 
Hmph. Well, he didn’t want to be around Lancelot for any longer than he had to be, anyway.
So, Gawain and Percival left for the castle. Lancelot’s shoes began to spark as they powered up, signaling his impending departure, his body already leaning the same direction he’d seen Sonic and the red dragon disappear into.
“I’m coming too,” Tails said.
Lancelot didn’t want to waste more time arguing. Would he have preferred to go alone? Yes, of course. But he’d kept his king waiting long enough, and wasn’t willing to make him wait any longer, so instead of fighting, he gave Tails a sharp nod.
The dragon’s tracks were large and noticeable, even in the relative darkness of night. Tails and Lancelot followed them out into the forest, taking note of the crushed bramble and torn bark along the way, until they reached the wicked spike field, where they suddenly stopped. 
Tails looked around. The spikes were as plentiful as they were jagged, and he could see a blue quill lodged into one of them. That by itself wasn’t a bad sign–Sonic lost quills during fights all the time–but it was the silence that began to unnerve Tails.
Sonic was loud. If he was around, Tails and Lancelot would’ve already caught one of his quips on the wind. But they hadn’t. Instead, the only sounds in the forest were the quiet rustling of the leaves and an ominous dripping from one of the spikes.
Tails looked at that spike. He saw it, broken in half, the sharp tip hanging horizontally over the ground. There were claw marks at the base from the dragon, so it was clear she had broken it. And there was another blue quill stuck to the side of it, too. But that wasn’t all.
The dripping was forming a puddle on the ground. A very large puddle that made Tails sick to his stomach. It smelled like iron. It was red like Sonic’s shoes. And it was dripping from the tip of the spike.
Lancelot stood beside Tails. He looked at the puddle of blood too.
Tails’ mind was racing. There was no way that blood could belong to Sonic. It must be the dragon’s blood. But if it was the dragon’s blood, then where was the dragon? And, more importantly, where was Sonic?
The puddle of blood stared back at Tails in response to his question.
The silence pressed in on Tails like an omen. It was suffocating, but he couldn’t let himself choke on it. Sure, this looked bad. Really bad. But Sonic had been through worse and made it out. He must’ve made it out of this too. All they needed to do was keep looking, and they’d find him.
Because Sonic wouldn’t die. He wouldn’t leave Tails alone. 
He just wouldn’t do those things.
“Sir Lancelot,” Tails said, his voice small, “let’s–”
Lancelot stopped Tails with a harsh, Shh!
Tails strained his ears. He heard branches cracking as they shifted in the wind. He heard distant voles chattering nervously. And then, far away, he heard the sound of heavy footsteps–heavy enough to belong to the red dragon.
No words were said. Tails and Lancelot simply took off, careful to avoid the pool of blood, in the direction of the sound. Eventually, it led them to the lake where this story began. But Sonic and the dragon weren’t there. As if by magic, everyone who’d been at the lakeside had disappeared. However, they’d left behind three crucial clues: Sonic’s gauntlet, a pair of tattered, bloody white gloves, and a single strand of long red hair.
Tails was horrified at the state of the gloves, but Lancelot was more focused on the hair, because he knew who it belonged to. 
“She was here,” he said, his voice low and filled with barely contained rage. “Merlina the Wizard.”
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goodolddumbbanana · 2 days
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[Solar x Servant Sun] I want to see the star with you
I take request to write fic. Go girl, give me the crackest ship you want it to write!!
here is for @noinoi999 (I couldn't tag your name ;.;)
Solar had asked himself many times about his life choice, but he had never felt so stuck in a dilemma as now.
The flashy lights of Pizza Plaza flickered in the quiet, muddy cafe.
A bright yellow animatronic hummed as the daycare attendant carefully arranged each of Fazbear's trashy books into the drawers of the cabinet with affection and dignity.
This was not his Sun, or Sun of this dimension.
A Sun named Servant, that was what they wanted to be called and begged to be called.
Solar and Moon had picked them up… a few weeks ago in Lord Eclipse's dimension.
The outer plating had completely disappeared, revealing the endoskeletons inside, all the rays of them had been stripped clean. One of their eyes was broken and flickering in orange, the other was Sun's milky white.
It was a sickening sight to see the first thing they did after they woke up was to kneel down, begging for forgiveness from Moon and Solar.
Solar could never forget the way they kissed the ground beneath him, their eyes radiating reverence despite their trembling fear, a submission that could only belong to a sick dog begging for death, raising its neck for its master.
Solar wondered if he had ever been so submissive to his Moon?
***
The animatronic two-colored eyes caught his gaze, and smiled so brightly that Solar could see flowers blooming and silver bells ringing behind them.
“Oh hello Solar!! Didn’t see you there!!!” They lie, as if they don’t wait for him for hours outside.
Servant was better, for a few weeks lately. Sure, they were still restless, and their paranoia was worse than Sun’s. But at least Servant has no longer begged for mercy upon seeing Moon or broke into a wild howl upon making eye contact with Sun anymore.
Ironically, Solar was the only one that Servant seemed to cling to.
The repaired light golden animatronic followed him around like a lost duckling. It was cute at first but became quite a nuisance later on.
Solar didn't mind being his Servant's confidant, it was no different than when Lunar came to him, but in reality he had too much works to do, and Servant kept blinking his big, round, timid eyes at him all the time like they like him so much, making it impossible for Solar to concentrate.
He wasn't a babysitter, damn it!
***
“But aren’t you good at it, Eclipse? You’ve always had more patience with children than Moon and I.” The mischievous voice of the person with whom he shares the same body, as they cradled little Thomas on the bed.
“Don’t be an idiot, Sunny. Anyone can soothe this child.” Eclipse grumbled, but he still carefully adjusted the blanket over the child’s chest.
“You’re such a tsundere, brother.”
Solar doesn’t remember what his Sunny's laugh sounds like anymore.
***
“Do you have anything you want to say, Servant?”
Solar sighed. He gave up on working on his computer. Finding the whereabouts of Dark Sun and… Nexus wasn’t looking good, and Solar was too exhausted to sort through Fazbear’s paperwork and work at the cinema.
Why this work was even left to the animatronics, could only be blamed on the incompetence of this capitalist corporation.
“Oh… I was just asking after this is done, do you want to go somewhere?” Servant was stuttering, their entire bodies stiff even the rays of sunlight, they looked like glass statues that could shatter with just one word from him.
The longing gaze still lingered in the Servant’s eyes, brighter than any plasma heat source Solar had ever witnessed.
“Servant, you can do whatever you want, you don’t have to ask me. I’m not your Lord.”
Solar pressed his forehead, ignoring the guilt that wasn’t his. He knew the figure the Servant was looking at was Lord Eclipse, this poor thing was just trying to protect himself from getting hurt by ingratiating himself as if he had complete control over their lives. It was sickening, and left a bitter taste in Solar’s ​​throat, but he couldn’t blame them.
Not when his very existence was a curse.
Solar ignored the trembling in his hand as his sensor chip recalled the hot heat of the cannon in Solar's palm, when he had personally ended Moon's miserable life.
Black oil splashed onto his pants leg, a faint mechanical sigh before fading away. The red eyes were full of cracks, but the emoticons still revealed a look of hatred and disgust as they looked at the dirt beneath their feet before the screen shattered.
It was just dust, not a corpse, but the cold and nauseating feeling still swirled in his throat until the next day.
"But..." Servant stammered. Their eyes drooped. They looked as if Solar had kicked a dog, and that dog was them. "I really wanted to ask you out."
Their hands clenched into their elbows, so tight they were about to dent. He could see Servant's trembling posture, as they tried not to kneel instinctively when they realized they had done something wrong, something that made him sad.
***
“Hey Moon… Um… I know you’re busy… but working like this isn’t healthy… Maybe we can take a break and figure how to save Sun together—”
SNAP!!!
A young, timid Eclipse stepped into the living tomb, looking at a Moon still buried in their computer, desperately typing away at the codes that keep a corpse running. Their voices were cold and cruel, crushing any hope Eclipse had of repairing the shattered pieces of what had once been a family.
“Go away, waste of space. Before I scrap you.”
“You’ve done enough damage.”
***
“Alright,” Solar had given up on the battlefield that he couldn’t win. “Where do you want to go?”
And those orange-white eyes lit up again, as if Solar had saved the world or done something great. It almost hit Solar’s ​​pride, because Solar was Eclipse after all, and there was no way he could lie when he said he loved to be recognized and admired.
They bounced, their steps intertwined as if they were dancing, and they had smiles as beautiful as plum blossoms on a summer afternoon.
“Can we go stargazing?”
“Stargazing?” Solar frowned.
“Um… Because in the old world, the sky was always so bright. I forgot the color of the stars… And it’s scary to go alone… And you work so hard… to help me too…”
It’s both similar and different when comparing Servants to Sun. They are much more panicked than his Sunny, but also more meticulous and soft spoken than Sun.
They are loyal, but more easily scared than a rabbit.
There’s something about them that seems to have been patched together in a distorted way, like the broken pieces of a broken cup that have been re-plated too many times.
They are Sun, but they are not Sun.
An illusion, the time-worn memory of a tyrant who doesn’t clearly remember what it was like the so used brother that they possess…
A distortion born from a monster’s longing to never be alone, but still retaining the purity and subtle kindness that makes him heartbroken.
“Okay…” Solar said in a low voice. He remained silent, only activating the multi-dimensional portal for the two of them to jump into.
The brilliant colors of the stars gently kissed their bodies.
The silvery white broke out like stars and dust, circling like fireflies. The colorful halos fluttered and wriggled like eels, vaguely giving off the peaceful feeling of the deep universe.
This was a beautiful place.
Solar thought so, though he was a little worried for some reason, wondering if the Servant would like it or not.
“Wow… Where is this, Solar?” There was a soft gasp of surprise from Servant, both hands covering his mouth as if not wanting his voice to ruin this moment. 
Solar spoke evenly. They stood between everything and nothing, suspended in the void, yet steadfast to the very end.
“We are at the center of the universe. The moment when the universe contracts and expands.” 
This was also the secret place he occasionally visited, when he felt like everything was becoming too much even for him. Just lie down, be quiet, relax with everything moving peacefully.
Here he is nothing… Noone… Just a speck of dust lucky enough to witness the birth of the universe.
“It’s beautiful.” Servant was silent, their faces staring in fascination at the fiery light that blended together before separating into elegant bands of color like the green light of the South Pole. 
They looked gentle, Solar adjusted his glasses to see better, as the silver poured over the Servant’s body, turning the melted gold into a pale green like the foam of whipped egg whites.
It felt like Solar was intruding. It felt like this look on his Servant’s face was too priceless to dare to know.
And then, in a voice as meticulous, as gentle as a piano in D minor, as slow as if honey could be poured into Solar’s ​​ears.
“Thank you… I know it’s hard for people to be patient with me sometimes.”
Servant’s eyes were always orange, but now they completely reflected Solar’s ​​color.
“It’s fine.” Solar looked away, feeling a little hot in his chest as he acknowledged this gratitude.
It wasn’t wrong, just strange. 
Talking to them, sharing his secret hiding place with them.
It was comforting and relieving in a way...
To know that someone was broken enough to sit with him.
What a nauseous thought...
Maybe he should check his own system...
Later…
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clonehub · 1 day
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Years on, accusations against Andor for being "too dark" confuse me because I don't think there was any aspect of the violence itself that was darker than anything we've seen in Star Wars. What people took issue with was that the characters would pause, comment on, and react to such violence in a way that the majority of other Star Wars characters historically have not.
Take a look at any of the violence in The Clone Wars -- often the most we'll get is characters acknowledging the violent act they just witnessed or committed themselves, but for various reasons they can't/don't portray it the way that, say, Bic getting slammed into a wall and bleeding from the head (police brutality was shown. Characters get blown sky high in Star Wars animation all the time -- but when the same happens in Andor with the Pre-Mor cops, it's not the violence, it's the cries for help and the wounded screams and the ashen nausea on Siril's face.
Which is to say that Andor doesn't gloss over, excuse, ignore, or make light of its violence. A child is about to enter into a child marriage for the sake of the rebellion and its handled with horror. Immediately after rescuing a child bride from a defacto pedophile, Boba's put in the child's place and this is played as a joke despite him ALSO being a child (the presumption being that the pedophile in question ~obviously~ doesn't want Boba, and that Boba can get out on his own).
I'm glad that Andor doesn't play around with its violence. It showed the horrors and downsides of oppressive violence and how it can hurt the oppressors without excusing anything they do. Rebels' modus operandi was making a running joke of the silly, ridiculous, our outlandish ways that the crew would kill Imperial soldiers.
(Don't get me wrong, I love Rebels. I really do. But if we're looking at the pure math, two highschoolers blew up a lot of people and laughed about it. This isn't an indictment on Rebels!)
One might even say that Andor on average was less violent than your typical pre-Andor Star Wars show. People have committed suicide (twice, TCW), fallen to their deaths (repeated, TCW), been decapitated (TCW), lost limbs and shown the missing limb (TCW), been blown up (TCW), sacrificed themselves (TCW) etc etc....you get the idea. But outside the deaths that are meant to be important to the characters themselves? You're unlikely to get a moment of horror or shock or fear at the sight of a dead body before them. Even Omega is given a weapon strong enough to kill, and she uses it on a clone no more then 15 feet away from her. We get more commentary on Crosshair leaving (not even almost killing them, just leaving) than we do on her apparently killing multiple people.
I don't have a smooth ending for this, this is more of an observation or anything. But the discomfort with the dark-violence of Andor? I think that was folks wishing the characters would move on from mass death and violence the way other characters have for years. They don't want to be disturbed.
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martyrbat · 1 year
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so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!
#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency#adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid#then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!!#everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others#rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you#make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing#or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult#yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred#like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn#so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you#anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds#so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask#like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and#his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking#doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie#and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it#(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me!#and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead!#and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is.#but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’#like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid#who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it.#i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow#anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness
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arundolyn · 28 days
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not to be a complete ungrateful terrible horrible brat for a minute but like having a terminally ill parent who is also terminally fucking shitty really sucks because not only do you personally have to cope with your parent actively dying but also said parent will get mad at you for wanting time to yourself and not wanting to be their live in nurse 24/7 and also like completely forget about who you are and what you're like as a person especially in terms of like . energy level. because it's not convenient to them right now so anytime you try to think of yourself it always feels like you're Choosing Wrong
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kodokugumon · 3 months
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I love looking up examples of low empathy and getting results that completely demonize or are so vague ("they are self-centered") that I can't even figure out what they mean. I just want to know if I have low empathy or not
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vaugarde · 5 months
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am i misremembering this? i feel like there was a panic around the allister episodes that allister was going to take ash’s gengar but i dont remember if that was real or where it came from. i feel like i made that up bc this episode states outright that gengar doesnt want to leave ash’s side at all
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.
It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.
#opossums chronic illness rants#seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try#its probably a combination of a lot of different things#like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse#along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia#the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently)#im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else#but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories#when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever#take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself#which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears#and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime#im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment#all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again#it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt#like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal#idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess?#im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do#its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal#since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out#until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me#apparently its very hard to find anyom#who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess
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fardf150 · 3 months
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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readymades2002 · 5 months
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who even give a fuck. yknow
#getting drunk before work because who gives a shit ^_^d#yesterday was real fucking bad so im thinking like why am i even fucking trying you know none of these assholes even talk to me#unless its to go ermmmm i cant help noticing your department isnt achieving infinite growth when will you guys stop sucking#shit? just curious yhaha and if they want to talk about me they go behind my back and ask other people why im cutting#which a) i wear short sleeves this isnt a secret im keeping and 2) fuck you for deciding its your business and then NOT EVEN#ASKING /ME/ but whatever thy want to get pissy at me for their own failure to communicate fucking let them i dont care#ive been killing myself for this stupid job for a year now i wake up in the morning and my first thought is how bad my knee hurts#im one of the best we've got and what do i have to show for it no one fucking talks to me i dont care#no one will go 'hey did you get fucking sloshed before coming here' becaus etheyre scared of talking to m e for some reason#i literally dont know but if they ask then like who fucking cares this isnt on me i dont feel human doing this job i dont feel like a perso#no one treats me like one unless i waste time quote unquote to not do my job and talk to people who like care if i live or die or whatever#so like who fucking cares even ill do whatever i want ill get drunk before work ill do shit at my job ill talk to someone i love fuck it#whatever!!! should have acted like i was a person instead of ignoring the people youre throwing into a meatgrinder for profit i guess#who fucking cares!#already had my MOTHER get weird about me buyng booze for reasons that are none of her fucking business and that she#wouldnt know the details of anyway if she hadnt been snooping because i have no privacy and no space of my own lol#so might as well drink it i guess it was 30 bucks anyway and i dont have any fucking moneyyyyyyyy so what am i#who am i fucking KIDDINGGGGGGGGGG lol its fucked its all fucked!!! whatever!!! who give a shit!!! nothing fucking matters
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unluckyxse7en · 8 months
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I bring a "guy you can just ignore/talk over" vibe to the discord that my BPD really don't like
#(quoting that one meme format but too lazy to edit it myself)#anyways. ended up leaving a server bc it happened a second time there and twice was Enough#which ik out of context sounds bratty but in context? this happens to me all the gd time across many servers and im sick of it#idk if it's smth about ME or people just decide that in big group servers you can just chuck courtesy out the window or what#but it feels pointed after a while!#fsr it's when I ask questions for advice and or starter convos people do this the most - sometimes Immediately after my message#and they and everyone after Entirely ignores my message bc they took the spotlight with whatever#and I'm gonna be real. those times are usually me recognizing i need to interact more and Genuinely Trying To Engage#so to not only have the attempt ignored but also Entirely talked over really fucking sucks bc its like man what do you want me to do here?#stand on my head? cry for attention? perform a musical number?? how about mr. cellophane that sound good to you#just. ugh. I know it Has to be something I'm doing. anytime I talk about it other people are surprised it happens frequently#but idfk what I'm doing to provoke that response!! bc no ones fucking talking to me!!!!!#you see my issue here!!!!!#like am i too inactive? is it me being too sensitive and this is smth everyone does all the time? do i come off as too clingy or tryhard?#who knows! evidently everyone in the server but me#just. ugh.#ik leaving isnt right either but im sick of not understanding what im doing wrong and being ignored Hurts too much to tolerate#not without better understanding of the issue anyways#gripegripegripe#blablablah
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selfcarecap · 15 days
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Practice [L.H]
pairing: Logan Howlett x reader
summary: Your roommate Logan lets you practise giving a blowjob on him for your date with another guy.
warnings: smut, 18+, oral sex (f&m receiving, reader’s first time), Logan is a liittle mean but just a little and he gets softer towards the end, spitting,  jerking off, Logan keeps his socks on I think it’s hot okay 😭😭, Logan calls reader bub, baby, good girl, pretty girl; Wade is mentioned but I’m imagining a younger Logan than in DP&W
word count: 3.2k (this was supposed to be a drabble lol idk what happened)
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“Who’s the lucky guy?” Logan asks from the sofa as you walk past him in your pretty date outfit. You’ve got some time left before your date but you decided to get ready early in a bout of nervousness.
“This guy I’ve been seeing,” you tell him, trying to seem nonchalant. You haven’t yet mentioned to Logan that you’ve been on a few dates. He spends a lot of time in his room, away from you and Wade, and he just never happened to be there to hear about your dates.
Logan mutes the tv. “What guy?”
“Met him online.”
“And he’s so good to you that you get this pretty for him?”
You smile at his indirect compliment and sit down next to him.
“Yeah, he’s nice. I… I think we might go a step further today,” you feel your cheeks heating up, “I’m kind of nervous.”
You see his jaw clench slightly, “If he’s a good guy he shouldn’t make you nervous.”
“I’m not nervous because of him, it’s just that it would be my first time. And I don’t want to be bad.”
He chuckles and leans back, “You won’t be bad. Just make him go on top.”
Logan isn’t taking your hint, so you take a deep breath to gather your courage. “What if he wants me to go down on him and I don’t know how to do it? Will you…” your voice falters as his eyes meet yours.
“Will you help me?” you stutter and Logan immediately begins to smirk. Embarrassment spreads through your body.
“Help you how?” He asks, smug.
It’s too late to go back now. “Well, I don’t know. Like, explain how it works or.. you could show me?” you shrug.
“You probably know better than me how to find porn online.”
“No, I mean show me on you.” That’s all the courage you can muster for the day and you wonder if you will even have the strength to look back into Logan’s eyes. He solves that problem for you, putting a finger under your chin and pushing it up so you’re looking at him.
“You wanna suck my cock?” He sounds annoyed and you immediately want to die.
“It wouldn’t have to mean anything,” you look at his cheeks, his nose, anywhere but his eyes, “I just wanna know if I’m doing it right. It’s okay if you can’t cum, I just want to practise.”
Logan scans your face for a sign of discomfort – other than your embarrassment – but he doesn’t find any. His features soften, “You really wanna go down on me, bub?”
You nod quickly, “For practice.”
“Mhm, for practice.” He’s mocking you, but all you can do is ignore it.
A thrill shoots through your body at his next words: “C’mere then.” He spreads his legs, clothed in jeans that strain around the thickness of his delicious thighs. You can see the outline of his abs through his tank top. You can’t believe this is happening – you’ve had a crush on him since you saw him for the first time.
Logan beckons you between his legs and you move to sit on the carpet, its fluffiness stopping your bare knees from hurting. Your short skirt rides up your ass and you pull it down self-consciously despite what you’re about to do.
“You sure about this, bub?” Logan asks again from above you. You gulp when you look up at him. How does he look even better from below?
“Yeah,” you assure him, your panties already growing wet. You sit down and try to patiently wait for instruction but you end up squirming. When you look back up at Logan he’s got one of his eyebrows raised.
“You don’t know how to open a belt either?”
“Well, yeah but don’t we have to–” your mouth starts to water when the rough clink of his belt interrupts you. He’s all but ripping open his belt; he unbuttons his jeans and takes out his hard cock. You almost get goosebumps.
“Oh,” you say.
“If a guy likes you, he doesn’t need any time to get ready. Foreplay is just to get the woman nice and wet,” Logan tells you, although you’re barely listening. All you know is that you wouldn’t need the foreplay either, you’re uncomfortably wet, trying to get friction against your legs that are folded underneath you.
Logan watches you stare at his erection, “Take your top off. I like seeing your pretty face but that’ll make it an even nicer view.”
“But I’m not wearing anything underneath,” you thumb at the thin straps of your top.
He smirks, “even better.” He reaches down to pull the top up by your waist but then hesitates.
You nod but Logan rolls his eyes. “Use your words.”
“You can take it off,” you say but you nevertheless put your arms in front of your tits when he pulls your top over your head. 
Logan chuckles, “Baby, I’ve been dying to see your tits since I first met you. You really think you gotta hide?” The nickname makes you melt and your arms immediately drop to your sides. 
You sit up straighter as Logan lets out a low moan, “God, look at you. So fucking perfect.” He reaches out to grope your tits almost clumsily. His cock bobs in front of you as he leans down to touch you and you feel yourself getting addicted to him already. You just want to start.
With a last rough squeeze of your tit, Logan leans back. “Wet your lips,” he instructs. You lick your lips.
“Wetter,” he says, and your eyebrows crease in confusion as you lick your lips again.
Logan huffs, spits into his hand, and smears his spit over your mouth, “There. Don’t you look fucking pretty like this.” You just about purr against his hand and then push against it with your cheek.
You place your hands on either of his knees and lean in to kiss the tip of his cock, all swollen and ready. You immediately feel the urge to go further but your shyness takes over, so you keep pressing wet kisses to his length.
“God,” Logan groans, leaning his head back in pleasure as you keep kissing, and you start to use some more spit.
“Look at you, don’t even need me to tell you what to do,” he pulls his arms behind his head smugly, like an asshole, and you smile, getting shy again. You kiss along the underside of his cock some more, getting more desperate with every second.
“What now?” You ask. 
Logan softly smiles at you for a second, pulling his jeans and boxers further down his thighs. You pull them off completely as he pulls off his top. He’s naked in front of you now, except for his socks, and you take a second to appreciate all the broadness and his muscles. The hair from his chest all the way over his abs and down to his cock is begging for you to kiss every inch of it but you force yourself to focus.
Logan takes his cock in his hand to lift it out of the way, and slowly starts to jerk off. His eyes go to you and then to his balls, and you get what he wants you to do. Still, he gives you one word: “Lick.”
You move forward, inhaling all his manly smell, instinctively going to press another wet kiss to his cock. You let spit pool in your mouth and begin to lick all over his balls, feeling the heaviness of them on your tongue.
“Take as much as you can, baby,” he rasps, continuing to jerk off. You almost slap his hand away – you want to be the one making him feel good – but you stop yourself.
You do as he tells you, opening your mouth to cover as much of him as you can, the warmth of his balls against your tongue making you drool.
“Yeah, baby, juuust like that. That’s a good girl,” he breathes heavily.
Your pussy clenches around nothing at his words, and you have to take a deep breath to focus on anything but the wet ache between your thighs.
His balls move against your tongue from his jerking off, and you gently suck on the skin, moving around a few inches every few seconds. But the movement from his hand on his cock is becoming distracting and, without thinking, you instinctively push his hand away. 
He stills and then smiles, lifting his hand away. He lightly leans his elbows on the back of the sofa to the sides of him. 
“You can start sucking my cock now if you’re ready, baby. Been doing such a good job.”
“I don’t know if I can take all of it,” you pout. Even just imagining his dick down your throat feels too much, though not in a bad way. He’s just so fucking big. 
“Just take as much as you can. I bet you can take more of me than you think.”
His words motivate you. You go up slightly on your knees, carefully wrapping your hand around his cock. You spit on it, letting it slowly slide down the sides as you begin to spread it with your hand. 
Logan huffs out a laugh from above you, “So adorable. You don’t need to be so careful. Here, do it like this.” He wraps his much bigger hand around yours and he starts to jerk off with your hand, showing you how rough you can be as he starts to fuck your fist. 
You clear your throat, “Can I use my mouth now?”
He bites his lip, “Ready when you are, baby. Just breathe through your nose and relax.” Oh, you’re relaxed. Being between Logan’s meaty thighs is the best you’ve felt in your life. 
You press another kiss to the tip of his cock and part your lips to take him in your mouth. The first second you feel the heaviness of his cock on your tongue is like heaven. Logan lets out a low moan and you look up to find his eyes already on your face. He looks like a god from below, his muscles starting to glisten with a thin layer of sweat.
Opening your mouth wider, you take more of him. You start to jerk him off where your mouth can’t reach but you do your best to go as deep as you can, moving up and down with your wet mouth.
The feeling of Logan’s cock in your mouth is addicting, and the quiet sounds he is making even more so. 
“Doin’ so good for me, baby,” he whispers, voice weak. You look up into his eyes as you suck his dick, spit starting to run down your hand, and a smirk spreads on Logan’s face.
“Such a pretty girl,” he leans his head back.
Your jaw is starting to strain because he’s so big but you never want to stop doing this. You swallow down the taste of his precum and can’t wait to actually make him come. He’s starting to pulse in your mouth, abs contracting with every time your tongue moves.
You’re wondering how much long–
“Y’gonna make me come, baby. Gonna come so hard,” Logan moans, and you figure he’s warning you but you want nothing more than his cum in your mouth.
You put in all the effort you can, sucking Logan’s cock further down your throat, cheeks hollowing. You start to feel him at the back of your throat, spit spilling from your lips.
Logan groans, and then he’s filling up your mouth, pumping his cum down your throat as you eagerly swallow. You look up at him through your lashes, taking in his face, his eyes shut and mouth hanging open in pleasure as a long, almost pathetic, groan comes out.
He’s coming longer than you’d expect, coming in your mouth in sticky ropes, a hand guiding the back of your head. You still pout when he’s finally drained and he slowly pulls his hips back.
Logan sighs a last breath of pleasure and holds his hand in front of your mouth. “What?” you ask.
“Spit.”
“Uh, I swallowed,” you say.
“Really?”
You stick out your tongue for Logan to see your empty mouth.
He smirks. “God,” he huffs, “so fucking perfect. C’mere.” He pulls you up to the sofa and sits you on his lap, your bare chest against his. Logan pushes his mouth against yours, kissing you like he’s filled with a new desire, as if you didn’t just make him come.
You don’t get to kiss him for very long though, because he pulls you to lie down on the sofa, turning so your legs are spread around him.
“‘m gonna show you what it’s supposed to feel like for someone to eat your pussy. Just so you know your date is doin’ it right, ‘kay?”
What date? You almost ask. You remember for a second but then, looking at him, all of your thoughts are replaced with Logan again. “Yes,” you nod hornily, “Please.”
“There you go, got you even saying please now. You want it that bad, huh?”
All you can do is nod as he pulls down your skirt and panties. He almost goes cross-eyed when he sees your pussy for the first time.
“God, baby, you coulda said something. Such an eager little thing. You got that wet from having my cock in your mouth, hm? Gonna make you come so good, yeah?”
You nod again and he bends down to press another sloppy kiss to your lips, kissing down your neck and stopping at your chest, “Can’t get enough of these,” he plays with your tits, desperately grabbing at them like a man seeing a woman naked for the first time.
He smiles up at you when he realises how much time he’s spent at your chest, pressing a last kiss to your sternum before placing one of his big hands on your tit and kissing further down. You assume he’s going to stop before he gets to your pussy, just to tease you, but he kisses all the way down from your belly button to your clit, starting to make out with your pussy.
“Logan,” you moan, your hand flying to his hand on one of your boobs.
“Feel good?” He asks, and you almost faint when you look at his head pushed between your thighs. He looks exactly right, as if this is where he was meant to be the entire time.
“Mhmm.”
He chuckles against your pussy, tongue darting out to play with your clit. The ache between your legs starts to get worse with him there, and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing.
Logan smirks and pushes your thighs further apart with a rough hand. He starts to gently rub your clit, and you’ve finally got the friction you’ve been needing this entire time. You’re already close. 
You let out an involuntary moan as he pushes his thick middle finger inside you, and you grip his hand on your tit harder, and he squeezes you there, lovingly. 
“I got you, baby,” he says into your pussy before starting to fuck you with his finger, pushing another one in as he begins to rub a sweet little spot inside that you can never reach yourself. 
He leans in to start licking your clit again, circling it with his tongue and, ever so slightly, beginning to suck. 
You’re so close, the waves of pleasure almost, just almost, flooding over you. You squirm, your knees pushing together, held open by his broad shoulders. 
Logan sucks harder, fingers fucking into you with your clit pulsing against his tongue. 
It only takes a few more seconds of Logan’s mouth on your pussy for you to come. Pleasure explodes within you and floods your entire body as you arch your back, pushing further into him and his wet mouth and thick fingers.
Logan doesn’t stop until you’re satisfied and your legs go numb around him.
He grins at you, biting his lip to stop his smile from spreading too far, and he presses a kiss to the middle of your belly, squeezing your tit gently before letting go. You feel cold without him there.
With your legs still around him, you instinctively pull him in and he lies down next to you on the sofa, gently caging you against the back of it to give you the more comfortable side as he balances on the edge.
“You wanna know how good you taste?” Logan asks, not waiting for an answer before he kisses you. You slide your hand behind his neck to pull him in, tasting yourself on his tongue.
He stops kissing you. “So.. you still going on your date?”
You feel your cheeks getting hot, “What if I told youuu…” you twirl a strand of Logan’s hair that’s hanging over his forehead, “that there never was a date. Or a guy.”
Logan breaks out in a smile, “You were too shy to ask me to fuck you so you made up an entire person?”
You hear the key turning in the lock in that moment, and even though you’ll be covered by the back of the sofa Logan shields you with his hands as best as he can, reaching for your clothes.
Wade comes in and you immediately sit up, holding Logan’s hand and forearm to your tits to cover them.
“Guess what happened?” you squeal at Wade.
Wade’s eyes go over to you and then to Logan, and he drops his bags of grocery shopping to jump up and down, “Was it my plan? I told you my plan would work!”
You grin, “It was your plan.”
Logan looks between you and Wade, rolling his eyes but he’s unable to hide a smile.
“It was a good plan, right? I told her she could just ask you out but she was too shy so I told her to make up a guy she’s dating,” Wade explains.
“Alright,” Logan laughs quietly, “Now fuck off so I can fuck my girl again.”
Wade’s eyes go wide and he says what you’re thinking, “My girl? I’d faint if he called me that. You owe me,” he points at you.
You blow a kiss at Wade and he pretends to catch it, pressing it to his lap. You roll your eyes and smile, waving at him, “You heard him, we’ve got stuff to do.”
The almost animalistic smirk Logan gives you when Wade is gone should scare you, but it only makes you want him more. He picks you up in his arms, carrying you to his room. You can’t wait for what’s to come.
-
P.S. Logan thinks good girls reblog and comment on the fics they enjoy 🩷🫣
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mbat · 9 months
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not looking forward to christmas anymore
#ignore me#vent#my post#i was supposed to make the pudding that my mom used to make that she hadnt made in like a decade and i was so excited to#but my grandma practically barged into my room like 'hey give me the pudding mix im anxious i need to make sure this all gets done' and#i dont know how to say no to my grandma so i handed them over but now ive been crying on and off for over 2 hours#my dads like 'oh just do the other steps its fine' no its fucking not. its fucking not fine it was meant to be me#we all had designated foods to fucking make that was meant to be mine. it was my moms fucking recipe i wanted to fucking make it all myself#and i dont care how immature it is of me but im gonna fucking sabotage it when everyone asleep i dont care#ill eat a whole cake all by myself i dont fucking care#yes im actually having a whole breakdown about this this was so important to me and its fucking ruined#i had that pudding mix in my room for over a year waiting to make it#i dont fucking care that theyre gonna be mad at be this wasnt going to be fucking fun anyway#every holiday fucking feels like nothing anymore what does it matter#i wanted to make it so bad i was so excited i wanted to feel connected to my mom again i wanted to do the process#i literally cant fucking do anythijg im so upset#i was literally so close to fucking breaking something or hurting myself earlier im so fucking upset#and i swear on my life do NOT send me messages or asks dont fucking talk to me#alternatively tomorrow i could go to the store myself and get more pudding idk#i refuse to let this be the first time this puddings made in forever and it wasnt made by me you dont fucking get it#its one of the best things ive ever eaten and it was my moms and shes gone and#its part of my fucking childhood memories it was everything to me#my grandma just wanted to make it cause she cant fucking sit still or be patient. wheres the fucking love wheres the fucking connection#the moment the sun rises i dont fucking care im walking the the fucking mile and a half in whatever temperature itll be
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isaacathom · 1 year
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cause like, Zayvia's entire thing is that they are constantly, and largely consistently, choosing kindness. they choose to do nice things for other people. it is not an effortless process. their instinct is always to the self, always to look after themself alone. they choose to extend it outwards, against their 'nature', because no matter what they know that its good.
and because they regularly make these deliberate choices, where their hesitation and pause is easily read as shyness, it would be a real fuckin curveball for them to be possessed or otherwise manipulated and controlled into ignoring that drive to be better. to shut off the part of them that says that the self is good, but its nothing alone. to shut that off and be an absolute piece of work.
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the other five [ five hargreeves x reader ]
request: Hello! This is my first time desperately requesting a fic because the new season is SO bad 😭 Can you write a fic where the reader finds out about everything that happened between Five & Lila and then she gets taken away by one of the Fives at the deli and promising her that he’ll treat her better than OG Five (You can also add a part where OG Five finds out about this and lives to regret it)
a/n: AU where everything in that trash season was the same, except when five made the first jump in s1 he made it in his 32 yr old body bc i will not have y/n pull a zach justice (lmao)
even if lila did 😭😭
anyways basically everyone is the same age
i like to think of the five that comforts y/n as the five that explained everything to five in the last episode because that one literally felt like the five we were supposed to get, the five that was there all the first three seasons
sorry i cant stop trashing this season you guys 😭 i’m just so disappointed
summary: after breaking up with five, you make up with… well, five
part two
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“Leave me alone, Five!” You yelled in despair, pushing the man before you away, “Actually, first take me back home, you psycho! I have nothing to say to you!”
“Y/N, please, just hear me out!” Five tried to reason with you, as if anything he would say could make your heart glue itself back.
You were standing in the subway station after Five had blinked himself and you away from the family- or what was left of it, watching him at loss of words. You didn’t recognize the man before your eyes, as much as you tried. You didn’t even have time to gather all your thoughts since there was yet another impending apocalypse on its way, so your mind was completely all over the place.
Five Hargreeves was not the same Five Hargreeves you fell in love with all those years ago. He was not the same man who had stolen your heart and made you feel like you were the most precious person in the world. He wasn’t your partner anymore, he wasn’t your lover. Your boyfriend wasn’t there. You looked at this person and there was a stranger, acting as if he was the same who had hugged you, held your hand, kissed you all those many times. You were questioning everything about him now.
“Take me back!” You yelled again, ignoring his same pleas, curling your hand in a fist, “I’m this fucking close to making you ash!”
As your pure anger got the best of you, you were ready to let your powers take over for a second. Obviously you weren’t actually going to hurt him, no matter how much you wanted him to feel your pain, at least physically.
You met him six years ago, during the first time you tried to stop the apocalypse. You were also one of the extraordinary kids, but luckily enough, Reginald Hargreeves didn’t manage to adopt you- more so, purchase you. You only met Five not long after he managed to time travel back to his family in 2019 after spending all those decades by himself. Before you knew it, you were dragged into the Hargreeves family and your relationship soon after developed.
Your six year relationship that was so merry a few hours ago. Now it was crumbled, trashed.
What hurt was that it was six years only to you. Five managed to block himself seven years away from you, only in the presence of Lila.
“This is so fucking stupid,” You scoffed, fighting back the tears in your eyes, “It’s fucking over! Do you want me to spell it out for you?!”
“I want you to listen!” Five didn’t give up on arguing, “I thought I’d never see you again!”
“You didn’t want to see me again!” You screamed, wailing your hands in the air, “Fucking save it- It’s over! I don’t want to ever see you again if we survive this apocalypse! You ruined our relationship, you ruined your brother’s marriage, family! For fucking Lila!”
You hated him absolutely. The mere thought of his infidelity, of the nerve to act as if he still loved you, it was all despicable.
You grew to love all of your boyfriend’s siblings, and also your nieces and nephews, even if you and Five were not yet married. You planned to be a part of the family officially, but still wanted to focus on your careers, you wanted to adjust yourself to your old life, back to your origins.
“Y/N, please!” He tried to step, towards you, but you started stepping away.
Thoughtlessly, because of all your anger, you just walked towards the first train approaching you, fully intending to be away from him at whatever cost.
“If you don’t want to take me back, I’ll fucking find my own way!” You hopped onto the train, watching as he tried to catch up with you.
But he was too late.
In hindsight, maybe it was not the smartest idea, but you were just so devastated nothing made sense to you anymore. You spent the past six years thinking that you are set for the rest of your life, now that the world wasn’t ending anymore. You reconnected with your family, you built a career for yourself and were living happily with Five, you had literally just finished settling yourself in the new house you bought together. You couldn’t understand how he could do this to you.
You couldn’t understand how Lila could betray your friendship either, especially Diego and their kids.
You tried to make it make sense, be reasonable- it was only a few hours to you, but they were lost in this subway system for seven years.
But then again, Five was lost in the future 45 years by himself and he didn’t give up on trying to return to his family once.
Now he did, he gave up on trying to return to you.
That’s definitely another aspect that stung.
“Fucking piece of shit,” You mumbled, as the train approached its first station, “How do I fucking get out of here?”
You stumbled out of the sub, taking in your surroundings. It was yet another crumbled down station, but if you were to be at least a tiny bit fair, it was maybe a bit better kept. You looked around curiously, trying to figure out where to go from now on. Your fire-based superpowers were totally useless in this situation, so you hated to admit that you were in a bit of a pickle.
You rolled your eyes, as Five rounded the corner and stopped in his tracks, watching you with widened eyes.
“You again?” You sighed angrily, “Take me back or get out of my sight, Five.”
Five raised his brows, putting his hands in his pockets curiously. He didn’t say a word yet, as a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He slowly stepped towards you, not taking his eyes off you once. For a split second, you stopped as well, sending that something was up.
You took in his features, trying to make sense of what was going on, realizing that he didn’t have a coat on him. He was wearing the exact three piece suit an black tie, he was wearing the same silver watch on his left hand, but he didn’t have his coat on.
“Y/N,” He smiled, stopping in front of you, “I never thought I’d see you again, more so here.”
“What the fuck is going on?” You calmly asked, over-analyzing the man before you.
His smile didn’t drop. It was a genuine one, a smile you hadn’t seen in a while. Things between you and Five were okay a few hours ago, but he hadn’t watched you with this look since you first met. His eyes were sincere, taking in every single feature of yours, traveling all over your body.
“I take it your Five danced the devil’s tango with Lila,” He sighed deeply, raising a hand to gently brush away your tears.
When did you even start crying?
Your mind was scrambled all over the place, but at that exact moment you couldn’t say another word. You just melted into his touch, feeling warmth. It really hadn’t been that long since Five touched you, but this touch felt different. His hand rested on your cheek, as his thumb caressed you lightly. His touch was so intoxicatingly sweet, sending shivers down your spine.
“I’m so sorry I’m a literal shitface in some other timelines,” He lightly shook his head, “I’m so sorry.”
“What is going on?” You asked once again, calmer this time.
For whatever reason, you relaxed in an instant. You couldn’t tell if it was because of his gentle touch or simply his presence. Ironic, since just ten minutes ago you were ready to set him on fire.
“Come with me, my love,” Five said, grabbing your hand in his, “I’ll explain everything.”
You didn’t fight his touch, locking your fingers with his. None of you said a word, as you watched you hands fit so perfectly in one another. How could your relationship be over when you were so good together?
You followed Five through the subway station, rounding the same corner he appeared from. You watched as he turned his head to give you a reassuring smile, lightly squeezing your hand in comfort.
After a few more steps and going down a couple of stairs, you widened your eyes seeing a literal deli tucked away in this godforsaken out of order subway system. The headlights above the front entrance were lit up, writing Max’s Delicatessen. You saw inside a huddle of people as you entered, gathering everyone’s attention.
When they all turned to look at you, you literally couldn’t tell whether you or the huddle of people was more shocked.
They were all Fives.
There was music playing inside, as the deli was full of different versions of your boyfriend, whether they were customers sitting at the tables, drinking coffee or having a meal, reading the newspaper or having a chat. There were also other Fives working around, waiting tables or cooking in the back.
Nonetheless, they all stopped to look at you.
“Yeah, yeah, Y/N is here, carry on, you guys,” The Five that was holding your hand waved the others off with his free hand, “She needs a moment, stop being creeps.”
“I can’t tell if this is a dream come true or my worst nightmare,” You said, looking around the deli, as Five guided you towards an empty booth.
You sat down as the other picked up again whatever they were doing, still watching you with the corner of their eyes. Five took a seat in front of you, still holding onto your hand on top of the table, using his other hand to rub small circles on your skin.
“I am not the Five that dragged you here, in case you didn’t tell yet,” Five managed to say, “But I’m pretty sure that you did, since I know you’re smarter than he gives you credit for.”
“He did mention that this subway system is the knot to multiple timelines,” You sighed, as Waiter Five set down two cups of steaming coffee on the table.
You watched him curiously, as he looked yet again exactly like Five, wearing just a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, with a black tie, pantsuit pants and a server apron around the waist. He smiled at you warmly, setting down two small packs of sugar and a creamer.
“I’m sorry, my love, we don’t have any Irish Capuccinos around here, since you’re the first Y/N to set foot in here,” He apologetically smiled, “I can only get you a shot of whiskey, if you’d like.”
Of course they all knew your favorite coffee.
“Make it a bottle,” You said, cracking a smile for the first time, causing him to chuckle, before walking away to attend to your order.
“I can’t begin to explain how much I missed your smile, darling,” The Five before you said, as you turned back to him, “The Handler got to the Y/N in my timeline,” He added, as sadness took over his eyes, “I missed you so much.”
“I can’t understand how you’re the same Five that fell in love with Lila,” You said, before quickly adding, “I mean- technically, you’re not, but still.”
“Everyone around here is a different version of me, from a different timeline,” He said, “I’m one of the many that didn’t go down that road.”
“Thank you, I guess,” You laughed, making him smile again.
What a sweet smile it was.
“When I lost you, I was a total wreck,” He confessed, as you couldn’t help but place your other hand on top of his, “I love you so much, Y/N, I could never hurt you like that no matter what. This is all such a fucked up turn of events, but when I saw you coming out of that train, my mind froze.”
“I love you too, Five,” You said, “But I need to wrap my head around what is going on- Everything is insane, I mean I’m right now in the middle of yet another apocalypse, I just found out that you love Lila and there’s just so fucking many of you.”
“I know, my love, I know,” Five nodded, “I wouldn’t dare to ask you accept everything so fast, I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“Can you just… hold me?” You asked, watching as he didn’t waste another second and got up to slide ne t yo you in the booth.
Wrapping one arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest, he used his other one to caress your hair. You nuzzled your face into his shirt, taking in his scent, as you felt a wave of certitude wash over you. Five held you tightly into his arms, embracing you after years of your absence. He was grateful to have you in his arms once again.
And he was not about to let go anytime soon.
“I’ll always hold you, my love,” Five muttered, peppering small kisses in your hair.
The Five from your timeline watched from behind the window as you took comfort in his arms, but not exactly his arms.
This was only the beginning of his lifelong regret.
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