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slasher-male-wife · 7 months

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How horror characters spend their Halloween with you

I wrote about this last Halloween and I wanted to make a better version of it with more characters this time. I am such a slut for Halloween and just autumn in general.

Includes: Asa Emory, Michael Myers, Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, The Sinclair brothers and Severen

Warnings: Murder and violence mentions, Hannibal being a little mean, blood talk in Severen's part (he's a little weirdo)

Asa Emory

He honestly thinks Halloween is a children's holiday. He never even bothered to get Halloween candy before he met you. If you're really Halloween obsessed he'll consider letting you put up decorations that he approves of. It's not cheap Halloween, Christian girl autumn or classic Halloween, its a secret fourth thing.

I can see him favoring vintage Halloween decorations over the newer ones. But he does like the insect and bug themed things you bring home. He wants the Halloween bug decorations to be casual enough to keep out year round.

He doesn't go to Halloween parties and if you bring him to one he's not dressing up. He'd say he's dressed up as an 'entomologist' or if you know his identity as the collector 'a homicidal maniac'.

He probably doesn't like horror movies because he's one of those people who think all horror movies are bad. But if he happens to see a new way he can torture someone he'll happily sit through a saw movie to see how else he can torment people.

He honestly won't eat any candy but as an 'experiment' he'll see how much you can eat before you get sick. Speaking of candy if you want to get up and answer the door to hand out candy you can do that but he's not joining you. If you're going to be out or you don't want to be disturbed he'll be happy to leave out a bowl.

Michael Myers

He's obviously going to be busy with killing people so for a majority of Halloween you'll be on your own. But he will be watching you the rest of the month as you put up decorations and buy candy.

He'll also be sneaking candy from the bags you buy. It might be smart to buy two bags just for Michael to eat on his own. If he's feeling generous he'll share some with you.

He gets some kind of weird enjoyment in seeing if you dress up and what you dress up as. Enjoyment in a Michael Myers kind of way. He likes more classic costumes and ones that have a good amount of effort put into them. He also thinks that he sexy Halloween costumes are just silly.

I feel like if you let him Michael would enjoy picking out your Halloween costume. Like you give him a pen and paper and he picks out what costume you wear, he would love that. I feel like he'd choose something funny to him, like the sheet ghost.

He'll get home in the early morning of November first and if you're still awake he'll spend time with you after washing up. If you're watching horror movies that's even better for him. He'll sit on the couch and watch them with you. Or if he's feeling affectionate he'll even lay down and have you lay on top of him while you watch.

Hannibal Lecter

He's European and to my knowledge Halloween isn't that big of a thing in Europe. He's familiar with Halloween and stuff but he doesn't really celebrate it. If you're really into Halloween he's happy to listen to you tell him all about it.

He's not really in a neighborhood to give out candy in and he also doesn't eat anything that isn't a 14 course meal so if you want Halloween candy you'll have to get it on your own. Even then he'll probably just silently judge you for it.

He's not much of a decorator for holidays, especially Halloween because of how 'cheap' and 'ugly' the decor is. If you try to put up stuff he doesn't like he'll throw it away or if it gets bad enough, tell you to stop putting things up. It all depends on the decorations though.

I can see him making an excuse to throw a dinner party for Halloween. But without costumes or any Halloween themeing and it's just a dinner party on Halloween. If you're someone who likes to spend Halloween watching Horror movies or going to parties Hannibal is fine with that. He won't join you at the parties and he might try to get you to not go but he's happy to watch Horror movies with you.

I can see him trying to cook stuff with pumpkin in it. But I strongly believe that he wouldn't let anyone carve pumpkins in his house. You've seen his clear suit while he kills people and how clean his house and office always is so I doubt he'd enjoy carving a pumpkin and how messy it can get.

Will Graham

Because of his upbringing he never really got to enjoy a traditional Halloween as a child and I feel like he rarely went to Halloween parties, so he's not a big Halloween kind of guy.

If you're putting up decorations you'll have to keep the dogs in mind. I think Will trains then well and that they're well behaved in general but you can never be too careful. I also think he'd find decorating a little pointless since he lives far away from everyone else.

He doesn't buy candy because there's no trick or treaters to give candy to, also again, his dogs. So you can buy candy for the two of you to share but I feel like you'd end up eating more than him.

Because Will is kind of prone to nightmares he wouldn't be super interested in watching horror movies, or spooky kid movies. But I do think he'd be open to the idea of reading scary stories together.

If Halloween is important to you he'll treat it as kind of important too, because he loves you. I don't see him doing costumes, but I do think he'd be willing to put the dogs in costumes for pictures and stuff like that.

Bo Sinclair

He never really got to enjoy Halloween as a child because he had to take care of Vincent and Lester. I also feel like his parents just didn't really like Halloween in general so they didn't celebrate it. This has led into his adult life where he doesn't celebrate Halloween.

He works like a majority of the time. I feel like he'll wake up at any hour of the night to go deal with victims. So trying to convince him to take off Halloween will take a lot of convincing. But he'll eventually understand and take the night off to spend with you.

I feel like he'd rather give up on the town than wear a costume. He'd be like Asa and just wear his normal clothes and say he's something. Like he'd wear his coveralls and say he's 'a mechanic' for Halloween.

He never bought candy before for Halloween but if you buy candy, he's probably stealing a lot of it, if not the whole bag. There's no trick or treaters so he'll happily watch horror movies with you and eat an entire bag of Halloween candy.

Speaking of horror movies he'll complain about watching horror movies until you throw in something like there's nudity in the movies, then he's more willing to watch the movies with you.

Vincent Sinclair

He thinks Halloween is a good time to incorporate more horror elements into his art as if he doesn't already do that. I can see him enjoying the idea of sketching or painting you in different Halloween costumes. They'll probably come from victims but he doesn't think it's a big deal.

He'd love to carve pumpkins with you but he'd be one of those people who takes it really seriously and probably makes some kind of masterpiece on the pumpkin. He'll probably just bribe Lester to get them for you because Bo would say no.

I don't think he has the biggest sweet tooth so he'll probably not be eating much candy, but that won't stop him from bribing Lester to get you some if you want candy. I can see him decorating the House of Wax for Halloween, complete with wax candy.

He'd be open to watching horror movies with you, but I seem him only really enjoying like art house or psychological horror movies, like ones with commentary or just ones that are really odd in a good way. He'll watch more cheesy and silly horror movies but he won't really like them.

I can see Vincent taking Halloween as an opportunity to kill people in more creative ways. Like the classic poisoning candy. I think he'd get more creative with it too, like using fake cobwebs to strangle someone to death.

Lester Sinclair

I feel like Bo and Vincent let Lester have some kind of Halloween. Their parents tried to keep them from celebrating Halloween but the twins scraped up some kind of pocket money to buy candy they could share with him.

Despite him not celebrating Halloween as a child I feel like Lester likes Halloween in a normal way. He likes Halloween and the aesthetics of Halloween. He has decorations but he doesn't usually put them up, but if you want them up he'll put them up for you.

He'll probably have to work on Halloween because he works almost every day. But he'll make sure to get Halloween night off so he can spend it with you watching Halloween movies and doing fun Halloween activities.

Like Will he'd love to dress Jonesy up in a dog costume and take pictures of her. He wouldn't dress up but if you wear a costume he'd be all over it no matter what you're wearing.

Depending on how long you've been with him he might take you to a haunted house outside of town if you're interested in haunted houses. He'd only do this if you've been with him for a very long time. He'd keep a close eye on you while you're out of the house, but he still wants to make sure you're having a good time.

Severen

He's very into Halloween. Even though he lives in cars and motels he still finds fun ways to celebrate Halloween. I feel like he'd binge blood from people dressed as vampires for Halloween.

He's weirdly into blood. Like he'll get his hands purposely covered in blood just so he can rub the blood all over you because he thinks you look hot when you're covered in blood. So on Halloween he'll get really messy with it. I feel like his costume would just be his normal outfit covered in blood. Also he might make out with you while his mouth is filled with blood.

He totally crashes Halloween parties and drinks himself super sick. I feel like vampires have a high alcohol tolerance but they have worse hang overs. But he thinks it's worth it to drink himself sick at a Halloween party with you.

If Halloween parties aren't your thing he's happy to just sneak into a movie theater and watch some horror movies. He'd especially enjoy if you get scared or squirmy and hold onto him while you watch the movies.

He knows you can't have Halloween without candy so he'll either steal candy from kids (unless you tell him not to) or he'll steal some from a store. He can eat a ton of candy before he gets sick and if you can't eat as much as him he'll tease you about it (but he really does care).

#asa emory #asa emory x reader #michael myers x reader #michael myers x you #michael myers x y/n #hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter x you #hannibal lecter x reader #will graham #will graham x reader #will graham x you #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #severen near dark #severen x reader #slasher x reader #slasher x y/n #slasher fanfiction

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blingblong55 · 24 days

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This town -Simon "Ghost" Riley

pic credits: @ave661 (middle and right)

Based on a request: (Its a long as so I'll link it so you can read the anons idea) Link here ---- F!Reader, childhood!friends, hidden feelings, angst, friends to strangers ---- A/N: Songs that also fit: Too Young- Louis Tomlinson, This Town- Niall Horan, Back to the Old House- The Smiths, Always you-Louis Tomlinson

It's a story to tell over at the old pub you and he used to hang around on the weekends. But how can a man begin to tell the sorrowful story? How can he explain in his bruised hands he holds the locket you gave him when you two were kids? He will maybe ask if this was a curse, the only curse an old soul like his has.

It could've been something, it would've been something, it should've been beautiful.

In this world, it was always he and you. Scraping your knees when jumping off the rocks near his home. Playing tag in the street until the moon greeted you and his mother would call his name. It's the kind of beginning all beautiful loves start with. Friends since childhood, went through life together and by 28, he would have proposed to the girl he had loved his whole life, 40s would be of dropping the kids at school, 50s of early retirement and 60s were for the potential grandkids, 70s would've been the stories shared of their early lives.

Would've...what a shit word that became in his life.

In the teenage years, after you had some glow-up, you became the girl everyone knew. The pretty, popular and funny girl the school knew of. He was the friend of the popular girl, the one people barely noticed or cared for. Simon was the same kid who always had a scar or bruise on his face, compliments from his father. One thing Simon hated more than the bastard of his father was the guy you were with. Bloke knows nothing but how to wank and fuck any living thing, he recalls.

Why were you with such a guy? It was a must. Like those cheesy movies where the pretty girl stays with the popular guy, all for the status of each other. Your feelings weren't real for that guy. He wasn't funny, wasn't smart and he wasn't Simon. The boy you shared a kiss with at age 7 because of an accidental bump whilst running through the grass.

It was during a small break between classes that you found him drinking water. You smile. He always did look good, even the stupid bruise on his jaw made him look so good.

"Y/N," he straightens up. "Simon," you smile cheekily. "Oh no, what's that smile for?" He crosses his arms over his chest and you can't help but get lost in his honey eyes. "Well...I was wondering if maybe we can...talk?" You say, unsure of how to word this confession. "Did my mum put you up to this?"

"No, this is...me just wanting to talk."

"Go on," his voice softens. Does he always do this for you?

You hesitate, but what is life without words? You breathe in and say, "I like you...there I said it and... don't stay quiet because you know I get nervous and I will continue to just talk and talk and talk and-"

He cuts you off by saying, "I'm sorry, Y/N, I... don't..think..this..well I just don't feel that way for you. We're friends, nothing more," he ends his part of the conversation, pats your back as he walks away and you are left in the corridor of the school alone.

As Simon walks to his classroom, his heart and mind fight the words that he had just said to you. Why was that mean? Did I even mean to say them? He thinks.

Graduation happens. You and he never talked after that day. Not even a congrats or a hug, life went on without him in your life. Throughout those last months in school, he felt a feeling of regret when he'd see you with that guys arm around you. He would occasionally walk around the old park just to see if you would still go on your daily walks.

By the time he was about to leave town, he found himself at the old house. He heard your parents moved to a new part of town, so if this was the last time he heard of you, it better be on his terms. And as he walks through the pavement, he finds himself looking at your window. He leans over a car, lights a cigarette and just waits to see if maybe you or some ghost roamed the home.

Was it the feeling of losing a friend that hurt or losing his one chance to feel something other than pain and hatred? Maybe it's just nervous, after all, he leaves tomorrow.

You were both just 16, it was puppy love, nothing would've lasted if he reciprocated those feelings, right?

And if it was, why does he feel some kind of hurt as he packs his bags? Why does he want to run to your new home and call your name? Is there a reason why? It's not love, it can't be love, he thinks. I'm not worthy of that, you've heard my dad, he says out loud. "Simon?" Tommy opens the door. "Tommy, not today," he looks back at his bag. "...Fuck" he whispers.

It's been a long nineteen years since he last saw you and heard your precious voice laugh at a cheesy joke of his. Nineteen years and the feeling in his chest is still there when he arrives home. Manchester was always home for him, it was the only place he knew best when he came back.

One day, as he was cleaning his closet, looking for his dog's leash, something fell and hit his head. "What the fu-" he looked down and there it was.

"Why give me this?" A thirteen-year-old Simon asked you. You smile, "You said you wish you could always be near me so you can feel safe...and since I'm going to my nans for the week, have this locket on you, and I swear I'll be there. Keep it safe, okay?" you kiss his forehead before entering the car. He nods and waves, "Call me, Y/N, please!" he calls out and you nod. "Every day!" you scream out as the car drives further away.

A smile falls on his silent lips, "...Y/N..." his thumb caresses the design. Once he opens it, he feels as if he is that young again. "Are you still there, Y/N?" He whispers and then, realisation hits. It was never nerves or whatever bullshit he told himself back then, it was love, always has.

All the dots are connecting. For the past nineteen years, he always had some love or whatever all those hookups and awful relationships were, but never did they stick around. Never did he feel more for them than what he has always felt for you. His cold heart still beating warm when he thinks of you. You are all he has ever known, the smiles, the late-night confessions, stories, the silly inside jokes, the feeling in his chest today.

He hasn't seen you in years, what if you don't remember him? What if when you see him, your heart doesn't call his name when he screams yours? Will you ever even forgive him? Will you wrap your arms around him and call him home like he has called you?

He must find you, so he calls and looks for you in every corner of this place. He finds nothing, just more lost hope at every corner he looks into. His heart and mind excited each other at the thought this would be some sappy romance moment. His mind creating a script, all truths, just finding better words to tell you he loves you, loved you the moment you kissed the similar scar on the knee at the park when he cried over the pain. He's loved you from the day he learned to say your name.

Why does he miss you so much today?

Why must you be the drug his body needs? God does he miss you and your addictive heart.

He has been around the world, where he could've found a good woman who made him happy but no, his heart has always belonged to one girl. You.

By the time he gets the street right, he finds you sitting down and as he smiles and nearly runs to you, he stops when he sees this image of you.

Sitting by the fountain, he sees you and a man. His arms wrap around your body, giving you darling kisses as you chuckle. It was then that Simon Riley knew this was it. He will spend his entire life wandering earth, looking for another soul like yours. You didn't see him of course, your fiance capturing all your attention. Simon was close to not caring and pulling you away from that man, but that would be cruel. And as he tries to make up excuses for this man being near you, he sees the ring.

Oh...oh you fool, he thinks.

His heart is near death. It screams your name, trying to find you so it can keep beating but when you don't whisper, Simon nods and lets his heart die. Let it rot, so it can learn its lesson, he thinks.

It would've never bloomed, Simon and you...right?

It's no use to even go and say hi. The locket that contained your picture was still in his fist. It'll be the last reminder of what was meant to be a life romancing in dark streets through town.

In his head, the home you dreamed of will forever be just a dream. No four kids, no library, no big kitchen so you and he can dance around at midnight. No you...no him...it'll all be stuck and dead in this town.

He crossed rivers, mountains, and enemies and survived wounds soldiers like him get, all to come home to you. And all this was for nothing. In his world, he would've married you, given you chubby babies and late Saturday mornings. No gun, no bomb and no other man would've kept him away from you.

In his mind, he is with you. In his dead heart, he sits by and watches that chubby baby learn to walk. He would've adored seeing you in a white dress, walking to him as he wiped tears away when he d his dream of a perfect life was minutes away from being real.

What a mess he is as he asks for another drink. A mess he never should have been if he had told you that your name is carved all over his body.

It was this town that saw him live and it'll be this town that sees him die because if he can't have you, at least he has this place.

A/N: Remember, I collect tears for potions, so please drop them by for collection, thank you. - The place of tears co.

Tags: @liyanahelena @mangowafflesss @goldenmclaren @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @rvivienner @Krinoid24 @iruzias @frazie99 @idklols @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @Juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @jinxxangel13 @enarien @Simonssweetgirl @luvecarson @willowaftxn83-87 @ikohniik @nobodys-coffee @strawberrychita @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @pbcartii @Llelannie @Macnches2 @bbyfimmie @avidreadee123 @talooolaaloolla @skelletonwitch @bittermajesties @Nyx_Flower @honestlyhiswife @who-can-appease-me @ghostwifeyy @konigssultwithghost @kaoyamamegami @beansproutmafia @soapybutt17 @asianbutnotjapanese @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @sleepyycatt @believeinthefireflies95

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 month

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im sorry babes but im begging you. Can we have a pedro pascal x reader fic where she's like a vlogger/lawyer and its like a fanmade video of them on yt of them being crackheads and being all lovey-dovey. like libra x aries vibes they balance each other out sm. you don't have to really but i genuinely feel like you're the only person who can pull this off.

Talk To My Lawyer

Every time Pedro gets asked something he can't answer, he always says the same thing.

Pedro Pascal x Lawyer!Reader | 600< | cw: gender neutral!reader, fluff, crack, rpf, typos, etc.

A/N: i didnt use and pronouns for yn besides you so anyone can read! ALSO this took forever, but im glad I finally did it. I hope you enjoy this nonnie! it's not exactly like the request but its pretty funny lmao

Tagging: @sloanexx @amis-love-bugs @top1bbgloak @sunfairyy @djarinsstuff @mooniesyubi @pedropascalgirly @mmmmandoz @multifandom-fangirl4

X - (Formerly Twitter) - verse

@hotnewsoutlet: Pedro Pascal announces marriage to Civil Rights Lawyer with heartfelt Instagram post. @gigigogold1: PEDRO IS MARRIED? @linmanuzel: PEDRO IS MARRIED? (2) @HOTdigitidawg: PEDRO IS MARRIED? (3) @103840582duh: ??????????????????????????????????? QUE @pedropascaldad: TO A MOTHER FUCKING LAWYER 💀💀💀✋✋✋ @pedropascaldad: OF COURSE THE LAWYER LOOKS LIKE A SUPERMODEL TOO HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA *jumps off a plane*

@papipascalyuh: ok but if pedro was gonna get married ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hell yeah itd be someone who looks like THAT holy fuck

@80pascal: ?????????????????????????????????????? UR TELLING ME THIS LAYWER IS NOT ONLY HOT BUT SMART AND FUNNY TOO????? [article link attached] @biwohla: 💀💀💀💀💀 NO CUZ THE LEVEL OF UNHINGED??? FROM A LAWYER???? INFUCKINGSANE @marvelwhorebb: "... I made sure to wear the Pedro Pascal T-shirt I made when we first announced our relationship. Gotta let the people know I'm one of them and simply got lucky." @atrediessucker: T-SHIRT *I MADE* SCREAMING WHATTTTTT

@djinssdjarrinn: OK IT HURTS BUT FUCK HES SO WHIPPED [video attached]

"How are you today?" asks the interviewer.

Pedro smiles and nods, "good, how are you?"

"I'm great, now that I got to see you," she says, making the man curl his head into his shoulder and grin.

Pedro waves a hand, "oh stapit"

She grins back, "I was excited when I saw you arrive with the internet's favorite lawyer."

His expression shifts, he brightens up. He places a hand on his chest, "me too! I'm so happy to have a date today. I always end up beggin' for some time, and now I got it-" fist pump "-y'know, not that I'm complainin'."

"Yeah, I was gonna sa-"

"I like begging." *Pedro smile.*

The interviewer doesn't quite catch it, "-y, the both of you are always booked and busy. How do you find time for each other?"

Pedro thinks, but is distracted when you walk up from behind him. He looks back when you place a hand on his shoulder. Immediately, he's forgotten all about the question and dotes on you. He brushes a hand on your cheek, asking you if you're okay. You whisper something but then catch the camera. You give a bashful smile, "oh, sorry to interrupt."

The interviewer immediately waves a hand, "oh, don't worry about it."

Pedro mutters something and kisses your hand. He holds it as he looks back to the interviewer. He opens his mouth then shakes his head, "sorry, what was the question?" Pedro laughs.

The woman chuckles then moves closer to you, "you know what, I'm sure people are dying to know, what's something you newlyweds like to do together?"

Pedro instantly turns to you.

You purse your lips in thought.

"I-"

"Watching movies," you say.

"I-" Pedro starts again, looking back to the interviewer, "I don't think we can say what we like to do."

*crickets*

Pedro looks at you, expression mischievous.

You stare back at him, eyes like daggers.

He holds back a laugh and leans into the mic, turning to the camera, "I can't say it. Talk to my lawyer."

The interviewer laughs and so do you, begrudingly.

"Talk to my lawyer," Pedro repeats proudly, breaking into a wide mouthed smile.

"Ok," you mutter, "pack it up, Pascal."

@alexielover: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP BASHING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK @600MILK: MF SAID TALK TO MY LAWYER 🙄✋ SOBBING @oscarisaaacsz: watch him use that for everythingggggg 😭 @pedrogrill: LORD I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS @starwazfr: *sips clorox cutely* @emeryslala: and im supposed to sha la la baby after this? FOUL @pascpedro: respectfully, id pay to be their third @probelmaskt: PACK IT UP PASCAL???????????????????

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal crackfic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fic #pedro fic #pedro fanfic #pedro x reader #pedro fluff

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southparktexts · 29 days

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Enemies to lovers with the main four?

i love this concept so much anon !! thank you !!!

Enemies to lovers w/ main four

Kyle :

- i know damn well you guys became enemies because of grades.

- academic award fights.

- this literally all happened because you two wrote on the same topic but you had one mark more than kyle.

- gave you the biggest side eye

“I can’t believe that THEY out of all people got 100! i got 99 why couldn’t i just get a 100, it was the same topic!”

“…dude. y/n is kinda smart its not that surprising.”

- he complains about you whenever you ‘beat’ him with grades

- you dont even know he got beef with you tbh 😭

- you guys didnt even talk at all, you were just in the same class as him unironically.

- one day, you got paired up with him for a history presentation

- he literally rolled his eyes when he heard that and had a mood when you talked to him.

“so.. ill to information and research and you can summarise my points?”

“yeah. whatever. i don’t care.”

- eventually, after days of the two of you guys doing the project he realised you weren’t that bad of a person.

- i can see, after you guys did your presentation he would ask to be your partner more and you happily accepted

- one day, after having kyle over to do another assignment the two of you went to mcdonald’s together.

- that was probably the first time he talked to you, outside of school work.

- he definitely caught feels for you

- unironically invited you to game night with the main 4

“..dude i thought you hated her.”

“….shes not that bad.”

“I TOLD YOU THAT??”

- definitely got jealous when kenny tried flirting with you.

- after that he unironically got more touchy with you.

- holding hands when you guys hung out after studying maths together.

- one day he asked his dad for advice and he said just to ask you out.

- he did… on text.

- my guy wrote a whole essay on you.

Eric :

- you guys definitely became prank wars enemies. full stop.

- prank wars.

- this definitely started because eric thought it would be funny to put a whopee cushion on your seat

- you saw it before you sat down and he got so fucking pissed.

“WHO DOES THIS BITCH THINK THEY ARE? NOT EVEN SITTING DOWN ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK.”

“fatass it isn’t that personal.”

- from there you and him back to back prank each other.

- ..they got worse as they progressed.

- he put a lot of laxatives and arbys sauce into your lunch once

- in return you put a lot of melatonin into his milk and made him sleep during an exam.

- yall are both fucked up like that 😭

- definitely spends a lot of time thinking how he can prank you and you do the same.

- you’re the only thing on his mind at this point.

“i fucking hate how that BITCH is always one step ahead of me.”

“you gotta admit.. theyre kinda hot..”

“NO KENNY. NO.”

“cartman you talk about them a little too much, its like you like them or something.”

“WHAT?! NO. CMON GUYS.”

“..sure fatass.”

- after stan said that he started questioning his feelings towards you.

- he kinda realised you both are kinda similar in your own fucked up way.

- after that day he made a glitter bomb card with a note inside telling you to meet him at his house.

- you arrived and you guys actually worked out well..

- gradually eric started introducing kenny into the group.

- the three of you started planning pranks on the teacher.

- eventually eric started falling. hard.

- you were always so funny and unique with pranks and he loved that.

- eventually asked you out with a cupcake.

“will you go out with me?”

“hm? yeah sure. ..this cupcake doesn’t have arbys sauce and laxatives in it, does it..?”

Kenny :

- to be honest time !! i personally think you guys wouldn’t be enemies.

- more just mutual annoyance.

- i feel like hes not the type to personally hate someone.

- the only reason he would find you annoying is because you would take the girls when he was trying to flirt with them.

“hey doll.”

“you’re talking to me?”

“oh tammy !! exactly who i was looking for!”

- he gets so annoyed because each time he was trying to talk to them you’d interrupt and drag them away to talk to them.

- one day he was fed up with it but didn’t do anything about it.

“how come y/n knows literally every girl i try to flirt with?!”

“because dude, y/n is cool and popular. their going to know everyone dude.”

“yeah bro.”

“plus they hang around the girls as well”

- after that, you kinda stopped hanging around the girls since they were doing a whole protest about something that you didnt want to be involved with.

- kenny eventually just say you walking around the school, just being yourself.

- he oddly, like it. he liked seeing you act like yourself. not pretend like you did with the girls.

- eventually he invited you to game night with the boys.

- you guys played dnd and had fun!

- after that, kenny would invite you to game night more and you eventually unironically replaced butters.

- you and kenny slowly became close friends and he became more possessive over you.

- one day he had enough of these thoughts about you and just asked you out out of the blue.

“hey y/n! doll!”

“hm? oh hey ken.”

“wanna date?”

“uh sure?”

Stan :

- if im going to be honest.. he doesn’t get enemies, except for craig.

- he definitely gets angry but doesn’t hate you.

- he probably got jealous because of you though, that what ticked him off.

- this is probably right after stan and wendy broke up

- you were wendy’s friend but also being stans.

- he once saw you comforting wendy and he got jealous.

“that backstabbing bitch! y/n is with wendy right now.”

“..dude i thought you said you were over wendy.”

“i- i am but still!”

- complained about you to the boys, slowly he would have something against you.

- since you were also friends with him he would give you a moody response when he replied back.

“how are you holding up, stan?”

“fine. just fine. its not like you care.”

- became more cold and colder.

“god look at y/n over there. at the swings with wendy.”

“dude, why are you looking at y/n so much. do you like them or something.”

“what?? no?”

- he kept looking over at you and he slowly started noticed little details of you.

- how you bite your nails when your shy, how pretty you look when your studyin.. wait.. what..

- slowly started noticing more details about you and since you were friends with him he would hang out with you more.

- became more touchy while you hang out.

- he realised now you were just being nice to both sides. trying to be there for both.

- wrapping his arms around your waist while you two walked together.

- blushing as you talk to him.

- eventually he bottles up all his feels about you and breaks down but in a good way?

- going to your house at 3am, crying as you hold him in your arms on your bed.

“and- and my dad keeps putting all this pressure and me and i love you and its so fucking difficult.”

“i know stan, i know… its alright.. wait. you love me..?”

#kyle broflovski x reader #south park x reader #southpark #southparkheadcannons #southparkimagines #stan marsh x y/n #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #mainfour #southparktexts

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janmisali · 1 year

Text

been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

#jan misali #youtube comments #autism

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princesssmars · 4 months

Note

plsssss do something for michael munroe im so starved

i could change your mind

some college football player mike headcanons.

contains: fluff. some nsfw. american football gross. mike is cocky whats new. fem!reader. hair nor skin color described.

a/n: anon i lowkey miss him too so i'll do a few headcanons for you anon. sorry that my until dawn rewrite is like on hiatus I just feel like it's gonna be such a flop so my brain says it cant be bad if I don't write it ??? idk. ty for making me do this. set in college but i've decided to start a year late so if i get shit wrong sorry scholars. (heart fingers emoji I'm on desktop fml.)

idk why but the first thing that popped into my head was him loving a sport...like he gives smart but also dumbass jock to me we let's go with he did football in high school and he's at college on a scholarship.

if you're like me you don't give two shits about the sport you probably would not like twice in a football player's way, which he definitely sees as a challenge. he'll come up to you in the dining hall and try to hit on you in front of his jock friends, spouting a "whatever you say, sweetheart" when you reject him with a grimace.

to your surprise and horror he's in one of your advanced classes in your second semester, sitting with his feet up next to your seat with a smile when you walk in. you do call him troglodyte for having his shoes on the table but he says with an easy smile that he's in with the teacher who said it was alright.

great.

for the first three weeks, you try to ignore his questions and poking at all costs, but when you get paired up on an important assignment you decide to hold your disdain on pause. he invites you to "study in his dorm" which nearly gives you a migraine, until he chuckles and tells you he's joking, telling you you can meet at common ground and study in the library.

you hold your tongue instead of giving a quip about how he probably won't be able to keep his mouth shut, but once you actually get there you realize the worst thing ever: mike munroe isn't a moron. he's actually pretty smart, maybe nearly as smart as you, and shows pretty good leadership with how he takes in both your academic strengths and divides the workload based on them. its not hard to see why he's the quarterback.

after you get an a+ on your project, you start to warm up to mike. his stupid quips in class start to actually become funny, leading to numerous moments where he makes you snort in class and the professor rolls his eyes.

your friendship soon grows enough that mike has the confidence to invite you to one of his games while you're walking around campus, and if you start to say no he informs you that he will not hesitate to get on his knees and beg in front of everyone. that makes you feel a little weird so you groan and tell him fine.

the whole time you don't really know what's going on, even though ten minutes before he had to get ready he tried to cram all of the rules into your head. even though you don't know everything you can tell when something good happens, like when he makes the touchdown that wins your school the game. he celebrates with his team members and his crowd of fangirls before coming over to you, clearly waiting for you to say football is fun or something,

you don't. but the after-party definitely was. you don't know what that frat guy put in the punch but it was good, and had you nearly drunk in only two hours. nearly being a keyword, because someone who was past the point decided to do a childish game of seven minutes, and you decided to play along for fun.

but it wasn't so funny when they spun the bottle and it landed on you, then the next turn between two people to point towards the couch where mike was watching with his friends. they both burst out laughing at the horrified look on your face as you reluctantly follow him inside the closet.

for the first minute it's quiet, soft noises from the two of you adjusting your bodies in the quiet space and "sorry"'s when you bump into the other.

he takes your silence for uncomfortableness, telling you he's alright with just sitting with you. "one of my favorite things to do actually"

you don't really know why but you kiss him after that. when you pull away you can faintly see his blank face. great. you ruined everything. you're about to give some half-assed excuse before his hand is on the back of your neck and he's pulling you back into him and pressing your body into his.

things get weird after that night.

you're still friends after that night, of course. except now its...different.

you still have your movie nights laughing at people making dumb decisions in horror movies, except now you'll sometimes wind up on mike's lap with your tongue down his throat.

you still text each other stupid pictures you found on snapchat (he insists on using it, fuckboy he is. or used to be, weirdly). except now before you go to sleep he'll send you a picture of his bulge with a smiley face at the bottom. if you send a picture back he'll send a long voice message that you don't open for your own sanity.

but you aren't like. dating. and you don't know why in passing you hear his teammate nick call you "mike's girl". because you aren't. at all.

and plus its not like you've slept together or even gone on an actual date. you're just...closer than normal friends are.

and then he leaves the next december to spend a week with his old friends, and you kind of mope around campus while he's gone. he makes sure to text you constant updates until the night where he arrives at the cabin, where he leaves you delivered for two days. he did say his ex was going to be there, so that nagging voice in the back of your head is telling you the worse.

until you finally get the call from some random number in alberta. when you pick up after some initial confusion you hear mike on the other side.

"mike? what the actual hell? its been two days, thought you somehow managed to get lost in the snow."

he laughed on the other line, able to tell you're insult at his intelligence meant you cared. his voice sounds hoarse.

"yeah, yeah i know. i'm sorry. something came up and i...i've been stuck in this damn police station-"

"police station? jesus, how hard did you guys party."

he calls your name and it's serious. he only sounds like that when something important or bad has happened.

"mike? is everything ok?"

"no, no its not. josh is...he's gone. the cabins gone. we're all pretty messed up."

you don't give a response, waiting for him to elaborate if he wants to.

"i don't know what to say..i'm so sorry."

"it's alright. i'll explain more when i get back. i just wanted to hear your voice."

"now you're really scaring me."

he laughs again, the scratch of his voice returning.

"thank you."

"for what? constantly insulting you and bringing you back to reality?"

"for making me laugh. haven't done it in a while."

"yeah, well...i'll make sure your roommate hasn't completely trashed your dorm. and we can get some takeout. on me, because i'm polite."

"screw that, we're going on a date."

your heart skips.

"did you actually get a concussion because that's not funny."

"im serious. no more being a pussy. time to start getting serious. plus we're basically already dating, so."

"god, why does everyone keep saying that?"

"i'll see you soon."

the phone hangs up and you toss the phone to the side with a slight smile.

#until dawn #until dawn x reader #mike #mike munroe #mike munroe x reader #mike munroe smut #minke munroe fluff #football player!mike #college!mike

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wheels-of-despair · 2 months

Text

Three Days Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Three days after Eddie and Evil Woman met for the very first time… there was a jock encounter they'll never forget. Contains: Switching POVs, nerds in love before they know they're in love, jock slander, snark, feels, hand-holding for the very first time. Words: 900ish

Three days.

Eddie Munson had a good thing going with the new girl for three days before the jocks swooped in.

He should've known this would happen. Should've known someone would warn her away from him before he could completely win her over. That she'd see what a freak he was and run screaming into the arms of some handsome meat-head in a letterman jacket.

He'd done a great job so far, at sprinting through the halls between classes to be there waiting for her when she came out of hers. Intercept her before the jocks or the cheerleaders could show her what life could be like as Hawkins High Royalty or whatever.

He just… he thought this one was different. She was funny, and pretty, and smart, and liked teasing him, but not in a mean way… as far as he could tell. He thought maybe she would see him as Eddie, the funny, passionate, metal-loving Dungeon Master. Not Eddie the Freak, the filthy, no-good devil-worshipper from the trailer park.

He'd been held back by Mr. Miller when he tried to leave his last class before lunch. A minute and a half was all it took for them to swoop in and steal her away. When he finally got to the hallway where her classroom was, hoping she was waiting for him… she was with them.

She leaned her back against a row of lockers and stared up at some jock asshole whose name was probably Biff. Who knows, it's not Eddie's job to keep up with them. But he felt his heart sink into the floor when he saw how intently she was studying the big blonde's face. It was over for him. It was nice while it lasted. Add another name to the long list of people who wouldn't be caught dead associating with the town freak.

And then her eyes drifted between the two meat-heads and met Eddie's. Something flashed through them. What had they told her about him? Was she scared now? Or was that… was that a smile twitching at the corner of her mouth?

Eddie took a cautious step closer, and caught some of the speech that was being delivered to her.

"…he lives in a nasty trailer park with his drug-dealing dad," one of the jockstraps claimed. Eddie had mentioned an uncle, but not his dad or where he lived. Like any of that was his fault, even if it was true.

You'd only known Eddie Munson for three days, but you were obsessed with him. You'd met him in your first class of your first day at Hawkins High and became immediately enamored. You wanted to know everything about him. And he didn't seem to mind. He met you outside after every class, and you could tell he'd gone out of his way to get there. He was winded half the time, which was kind of adorable. You only got to see him for approximately one minute between each class, but it made your days bearable.

You'd been waiting for him so you could walk to the cafeteria together for lunch, but two jocks had cornered you to warn you away from him. Did they choose today because Eddie wasn't there to ward them off? Were they afraid of him? Or is it because you were wearing something a little more low-cut than usual today?

You smiled awkwardly and nodded as the duo delivered their sermon, wondering where the hell the subject of it was. You stared at a zit on the big blonde one's forehead until someone rounded the corner behind him and caught your eye. Eddie! You were so happy to see him. But he didn't come rescue you. He just stood there. You could see the blood drain from his face. Does he know what they're saying about him? Is this standard operating procedure at Hawkins High? Warn the new girls away from the freak?

"…and his freaky little 'club' is totally a cult." You have to fight to hide your smile. You were its newest member, and were really looking forward to your first official meeting with The Hellfire Club on Friday night. Eddie had even told you that you could come early, so he could explain things while he set up.

"Oh, wow," you say with fake fascination, trying not to laugh. Which is hard, because you're staring into the wide eyes of Eddie, who stands frozen a few feet behind the preachers. "Like a sex cult?"

Eddie's deer-in-headlights eyes widen, then crinkle as he smirks.

"Well, not at present, but we're always open to trying new things."

The two jocks whip their heads around and spot him standing behind him. He crosses his arms and fixes them with his most devilish grin.

"Excellent," you grin. "Do you think we could discuss it over lunch?"

"Hell yeah," he smiles, emphasis on the hell.

"Thanks for the warning, boys," you say, clapping each of the jocks on the shoulder as you step between them.

"M'lady." Eddie bows dramatically and offers you his hand.

You take it.

He looks almost surprised, but recovers quickly and closes his fingers around yours. You set off toward the cafeteria together, swinging your clasped hands between you and leaving two very confused jocks in your wake.

You're not sure which one of you is grinning harder.

#writings of despair #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x evil woman

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

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tybaltsjuliet · 2 years

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If you have the time, I'd love to hear more of your opinions about how Belle's aesthetic should be Gothic Heroine™ instead of Smart™. Can you elaborate on what that means?

for sure!

so, first off, this is all rooted in how i feel that intelligence is vastly overhyped and overstated as belle's Defining Trait. it's quite lazy, to my mind, that she has been deemed The Smart Princess because She Reads Books. ariel displays far more intellectual curiosity about the human world than belle does about anything. tiana is a successful businesswoman and mulan is a full-on war strategist by the time their stories conclude! i would sooner call them The Smart Princesses, whereas i think belle is far more defined by her passionate heart, her willingness to throw herself into danger, and her yearning for adventure. of course, those aren't terribly descriptively snappy, so i like to say belle is The Gothic Heroine Princess, as shorthand, because of the atmosphere of beauty and the beast and because she is a Capital R Romantic.

take the things we meet her reading, for one:

“i just finished the most wonderful story about a a beanstalk and an ogre and...”

“far-off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!”

“here's where she meets prince charming, but she won't discover that it's him till chapter three!”

this isn't to say that people who enjoy fairy tales and fantasy aren't intelligent, or that they aren't intellectually stimulating genres (consider villeneuve's full, literary “beauty and the beast” - if you want a fairy tale to rotate around your brain for months, that's it!) but intellectual stimulation is not what belle is focusing on. she delights in reading for the escapism - the adventure, the magic, and the romance that she craves.

and, speaking of which, for all the jokes people make her about her Daily Mean Song (and i do think that tweet is extremely funny), she's not even intellectually snobbish! the most derision in that vein she ever gives is in response to gaston - “well, some people use their imaginations.”/”you are positively primeval.” - who fully deserved it in the moment, because he was disrespecting her, her book, and generally behaving like a boor!

yeah, she remarks on the poor, provincial town and its little people, but what is her chief complaint? “every day like the one before.” “every morning just the same since the morning that we came.” yeah, she remarks that there’s no one in the town she can really talk to - but it’s clear from the opening number that it’s not that it’s because she thinks she’s better than them, but because they think she is the strange one!

leaving those thoughts aside, it’s also worth noting that throughout, belle acts far more from her heart than her head, relying on her emotions. racing off alone into the woods to try to find her father is not smart. sacrificing herself to become the prisoner of the beast is not smart. going into the west wing, after being expressly forbidden to do so by the beast, is not smart. for all she knows, the beast could have killed her for that. and defying gaston publicly, in front of his mob of angry villagers - decidedly not smart! and belle does not give a fuck, because she is The Gothic Heroine Princess, and she knows instinctively that her Capital R Romanticism will save the day. her good judgment of character - distrusting gaston, for instance - is often cited as another example of her intelligence, and it is - but that is something else that’s rooted in emotional intelligence versus intellectual intelligence. her emotional strength - her compassion and her passion, her sense of adventure and her sense of what is right, no matter what the rest of the world tells her to do and feel and think - is what gets her through her ordeals in the village that ostracizes and rejects her, as well as the enchanted castle with danger and mystery around every corner. (indeed, the line between “enchanted castle” and “haunted castle” is but a gossamer thread, and she makes that castle her home.)

and, of course, there is absolutely nothing more gothic heroine than falling in love with disney’s very first byronic hero.

#;ask me your questions and get some answers.#;dream factory.#;ever just as sure as the sun will rise.

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welcometothejianghu · 3 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

#my roommate is a detective #民国奇探 #rec post #i made this

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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months

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What would like if TADC meet a reader that who doesn't really give a shit to anything , swears a lot and lazy but sometimes she can be suprisingly smart and can give some usefull and healthy advices..

Probably before he was in digital Circus she was an sucsesfull person but something happend and he become a person like that.

Probably wear that headset for get away from his life.

Romantic or platonic your choise

Zooble, Caine, Jax, Kinger x reader whos rude and lazy but gives good advice

currently not taking posts for the entire cast so i let the wheel choose the characters for this post ! going to do this request as well one or two more then i might go work on art.. or nap... we'll see shrugs

CAINE:

even if your swearing censored, caine is still going to scold you for your constant swearing. in fact im inclined to believe that the dynamic between the two of you is going to be tense because of this; you kind of get tired of telling someone to not do something over and over again.. you know? doesnt force you to do IHAs, though, since we see him attempt to make an accommodation for zooble when they expressed they werent interested (despite still being roped into it thanks to the gloinks but hushhush...).. honestly i dont see him being the type to seek out advice, so theres a solid chance he doesnt know you can give some wise words unless he sees you helping someone out. will be annoying about it since he takes it as you "coming out of your shell" or something along those lines

JAX:

thinks its funny and he probably tries to rile you up on purpose... you know how theres always that one annoying kid in class thats trying to push that one tired teachers buttons? its like that, i think, and youre really trying to do your best to not cuss the rabbit out.. knows you tend to opt out of IHAs so just a heads up hes probably going to booby trap your bedroom door because he knows youre going to go back to your room.. probably goes into your room sometimes to slightly shift things around. drives you nuts. will admit some of your advice is good, i think jax has some ability to get real and serious sometimes so he can agree with some of the things you say... wont stop him from being a menace, though

KINGER:

two old people; one sweet the other grumpy..? i dont think he would feel this way or that about your dirty mouth, i think he might try to ask why you're so rude every now and then. doesnt try to convince you to go out and do something; since he doesnt have much room to stand on since he tends to skip activities to keep himself inside his pillow fort... not that hes lazy, hes just scared that something is going to go haywire, you know? likely spaces out whenever you try to bring up some real important or helpful info/advice, but thats just kinger you know? you guys probably trade advice every now and then me thinks

ZOOBLE:

think i said this somewhere in a request w/ a reader who swears a lot... but i think zooble flat out wouldnt really vibe with you. theres a difference between dropping a swear every now and then but theyre going to think youre annoying if youre being excessive with the swearing, you know? makes someone sound like a little kid who just learned a new naughty word, and it doesnt matter that youre likely older than them... no thoughts on your laziness, since they themselves would much rather want to skip out on an IHA than to be forced to participate in it.. but thats more of zooble not wanting to do it than being lazy, if that makes sense? does keep notes on some of the advice you spew out every now and then, though... doubt they go seek it out though

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader

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yandereshingeki · 1 year

Text

Halloween Candy & Halloween Tragedy

Yandere!Eren J x Fem!Reader x Yandere!Jean

Masterlist

Word Count: 8.8k

Pairing: Eren x Reader x Jean

Content: Yandere themes, character death, smut, Eren & Jean fighting as per usual, dubcon

Content Warnings: Yandere themes, Murder, Death, Dubcon (coercion), noncon stripping/groping, unprotected sex, possessiveness, guilt, drugging (?) (reader consents and its just melatonin 😭), shower cunilingus, lots of groping, voyeurism, voyeurism that turns into a threesome somewhat (?), Eren spanks you once lmao, fingering, pet names (baby, sweetheart, angel), Aftercare, prone-boning, Implied kidnapping

Summary: After obsessing over you for quite some time, Eren and Jean do something unforgivable after Armin’s Halloween party.

Rushed to finish this in like 3 weeks 😭😭 not my favorite but! that’s ok. Very late halloween post i know <3 hope u enjoy!

They could never agree to anything—always picking fights with one another and pissing each other off over the smallest of things.

They could never agree to anything—except when it came to you.

They agreed that you were perfect—an angel fallen from the heavens and ending up with them, of all people. The day they met you was one they could never forget, still crystal clear in the back of their memories.

That day, that blissful fall day their dear friend Armin introduced them to his long-time partner. You.

They stood in shock, coffee cups in hand when he approached them that day at the mall, his arm wrapped around you with his hand resting on your hip.

Oh, you were so perfect.

From the sparkle in your eyes to how soft your hand was when they shook it to greet you. Even the way you spoke to them—your voice like a drug they were taking for the first time, sending them both on a high they’d never experienced before, a high they were about to get addicted to. You were perfect.

How did you end up with Armin? It wasn’t fair—such an angel ending up with someone that wouldn’t be able to protect them if something went wrong, if the wrong people—like them— ended up finding you.

The look they shared after Armin walked ahead, trying to lead the group deeper into the mall, was all they needed to tell each other, ‘we need to talk’

It was strange that for once, they both agreed that they could share. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they knew neither of them could get away with what they wanted alone, or perhaps it was some sort of empathetic revelation that they could share something after all.

Either way, by the time they drove home from the mall that day, your fates were sealed. Both yours and Armin’s.

From there, things went by so fast. Suddenly, they were hanging out with Armin all the time, always insisting that he bring you along. Armin was smart—they knew that, so how he never noticed their increasing interest in his partner, they’ll never know. Not that it mattered anyway, because they wouldn’t have stopped at anything to have you.

It was even more shocking, however, that no one noticed the two of them cooperating more than usual. The fights, reduced to bitter remarks with no rebuttal from the other. Every argument squashed with one look from the other that said, ‘you remember why we have to get along now, don’t you?’

Perhaps they did notice—but just assumed the reasons behind it were innocent, or maybe they were just happy that the annoying bickering stopped. Perhaps if someone had said something or cared enough to figure it out, they could have saved you and Armin.

From the moment they got that invitation to his friends-only Halloween party, it was over. With everything ready, all they had left to do was set their plan into action. After months of planning and doing their damnedest not to fight, it was time for them to reap the rewards of their efforts.

How funny was it, that you were dressed as an angel, matching more with them in their devil costumes than with your own boyfriend who wasn’t dressed up at all. It was a little shameful, to be honest. You deserved someone more willing to show off your relationship, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to show everyone who you belonged to. Like they could. Like they would.

The party couldn’t go by faster; even the alcohol didn’t help to speed things up. Hour by hour, game after game, shot after shot—it was finally over. One by one, everyone slowly called it a night and began to leave, saying their final goodbyes to the party’s host. And finally, it was just you four. All they had to do was wait for a moment alone with Armin. And that would be it.

“I’ll take out the trash!”

Perfect.

Two trash bags were all the party produced, which wouldn’t take long to drag outside. With your absence, they could finally go through with it. The second you walked out the back door with the plastic sacks, their plan was set into motion.

Jean made his way to the kitchen, plucking a knife from the wooden holder sitting on the counter. Eren began a conversation with Armin, distracting him from his partner in crime sneaking up behind him.

Swiftly, the knife was plunged into Armin’s backside, stabbing straight into his heart. He tried to scream and cry out, but it was no use as Eren slapped his hand over his mouth.

Jean removed the knife with a tug, leaving the wound vulnerable and open. Armin was quick to go limp in their arms, the two lowering him slowly to the floor as he drifted into demise. Soon enough, he was gone—leaving the two remaining boys to themselves as they mourned him quickly and quietly.

When you came back, you immediately noticed your friend’s positions on the floor, both of them holding your bloodied boyfriend in their arms. You eyed them for a minute, taking a step forward before noticing the pool of red they knelt in. The pool of red coming from your boyfriend.

Screaming, you stumbled back and made a beeline to the nearest bedroom. The one you and Armin shared.

Jean and Eren cursed loudly, chasing after you as fast as they could only to be stopped by a door slammed in their faces. On the other side, you turned the lock and slid down the wood, curling into a ball and sobbing into your knees.

Your boyfriend was dead. Your boyfriend was dead and your best friends killed him. You couldn’t believe it.

Eren was the first to grab the doorknob, wriggling it violently and pounding on the door when it didn’t open.

“Let us in! Come on, don’t make this harder than it has to be!” He shouted, rattling the knob and shaking the door in its frame.

Before he could attempt to throw himself at the door, Jean stopped him and pointed out the lock on the handle. It was a privacy lock, a small indent on the outside of it allowing anyone to unlock the door with as little as a penny—which they happened to have, along with an abundance of other change in their pockets.

When you heard the click of the lock unlocking, adrenaline rushed through your veins. You grabbed onto the handle, trying your damnedest to hold it in place because as far as you knew, your life depended on it. Everything was blurred with tears, the sweat on your palms making it even more difficult to hold on.

As the knob slipped from your hand, the door flew open—sending you flying to the side with it. You let out a shrill scream, collapsing as Jean and Eren ran in. You expected to meet the same fate as your boyfriend—but to your surprise, they both knelt down and hugged you as tight as they could.

The squirms and sobs that followed were expected, the two holding you tighter with every movement you made. You screamed for Armin, demanding to know what they did to him—but neither answered. Instead, they squeezed you until you finally gave up, your legs falling limp while you sobbed into Eren’s chest.

Eren put his hand in your hair, petting your head while Jean buried his face into your neck, his chin scratching your shoulder.

“Hey… it’s ok, we aren’t gonna hurt you. We’re just taking something that should’ve belonged to us in the first place. We’ll take care of you now.” Jean pecked your cheek, one of his arms around you moving so he could caress your waist.

Eren nodded in agreement, kissing your forehead and pushing himself closer to Jean until you were pressed in between them, your back flush against Jean’s chest and your chest against Eren’s. You cried and cried, trying to wriggle and squirm away from their touch. There was nowhere for you to go.

“Shh, shh… just relax, we’re gonna take good care of you. We’ll make you forget all about what you saw.” Eren cooed to you, kissing down your face until his lips landed on yours. Expectedly, you flinched and immediately threw your head back into Jean’s chest, trying to avoid him as he leaned in further and continued to try and kiss you.

Growing tired of your thrashing, he just grabbed your jaw with one hand and forced you to kiss him. No matter how much you seemed to cry or squirm, he wasn’t stopping. And neither was Jean, who pressed soft kisses into the back of your head, his hands slowly creeping up to your chest as he did.

You wondered how this was supposed to be comforting to you. Two of your best friends killing your boyfriend and then trying to do what only he was allowed to do. It felt horrible. Everything was going too fast.

You squeezed your eyes shut, even more tears flooding your face. As much as you squirmed, nothing seemed to work to get you away from them. They were so much stronger than you, holding you down with ease. It had you feeling sick.

Blood was all over the floor—and on them and you. Your boyfriend’s blood.

Almost as if he noticed the drying gore at the same time as you, Jean pulled away from your neck and looked around the floor, looking at Eren and clearing his throat, “We should clean ourselves up, Eren… We’re getting blood on them.”

“Where are we supposed to clean ourselves? The sink?” Eren responded, pulling away from his kiss, forgetting that he wasn’t just a guest at this house anymore.

“The shower, dipshit.” Jean snapped.

“Oh, yea.” Eren looked to the floor, slightly embarrassed by his lack of thought.

Jean sighed and stood up, pulling you up with him by the arms.

Eren followed after him, grabbing your waist as you tried to struggle again. He gave Jean a quick smirk, not giving him time to disapprove of whatever he planned to do before he was already committing to it.

You let out a yelp as Eren bent down and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and walking into the large bathroom you used to share with Armin. He flipped the light switch, revealing the makeup brushes and eyeshadow palettes sitting out on the sink that you had told Armin you’d put away after the party. The clothes you’d both been wearing before were messily thrown into the hamper. Your towels were still hung up on the towel bars. Everything was still in its place like it was before the party—the party you wished had never happened.

Jean followed in after, sliding open the glass shower door and turning the knob to hot. He grabbed some of the clean towels from a wire storage shelf next to the toilet, throwing them over the shower door’s frame. Next, he grabbed the cheap plastic horn headbands from his and Eren’s heads, tossing them on the floor.

Eren put you down, pushing you onto your knees and holding you there, refusing to let your begging and cries get to him as he began to tug your costume off of you.

Jean undressed himself next to you, taking off his cheap devil wings and pointy clipped-on tail to throw them in the growing costume pile. He paused after, taking a moment to stare at your now exposed self after Eren had just stripped you of your halo, wings, and dress.

Underneath everything, you were wearing a white, expensive-looking pair of white lace bra and panties, most certainly intended for Armin. Although, that didn’t matter anymore—because no matter who it was for—it belonged to them now. You belonged to them.

You cried as Jean reached forward and caressed one of your tits, causing you to recoil back and fling your arms over your chest. You wanted to shrink down and hide in a corner, away from them. This was humiliating.

Acknowledging your discomfort, Jean pulled his hand away and continued to undress, taking off his black turtleneck shirt and matching black pants with his boxers. He discarded the clothes, moving Eren aside so he could do the same while he finished undressing you.

The tension was uncomfortable as he reached behind you, going to unclip your bra. You had your head turned to the side to avoid accidentally looking at his third leg, and you could only curl up to protect yourself because of how they had you back into a corner.

You tried looking past Jean—at anything else—but your eyes were met with Eren’s dick instead. Almost immediately, you whipped your head away and squeezed your eyes shut—which would have amused the boys if you weren’t still crying your eyes out.

After managing to pry off your bra from underneath your arms, Jean had to pull you onto your feet to strip off your final garment. You protested, trying to collapse back into the ball you were in previously, but Eren held you up with his arms around your torso while Jean pulled down your panties.

It felt like you were betraying your boyfriend. Even though he was dead, it felt like you were betraying him. Your darling boyfriend that you loved so much. You couldn’t believe he was dead.

You cried more at the thought of him, and at the fact that you were now naked in front of the very people that took him away. You felt disgusted and disgusting. This feeling was hell.

The shower was more than warmed up by now, so Jean slid open the glass door again and pulled you in with him, Eren following close behind you. It was a little cramped with 3 people, but not so cramped that they couldn’t look at or touch you.

You felt so exposed with the two of them ogling your body, and you felt even more uncomfortable knowing they were both fighting the urge to touch it. You could see it in their eyes and the way they stared down at you like predators drooling over their prey. They looked like they wanted to tear you apart.

The stream of water dripping down them and flooding the drain was red with the blood that washed off of them. It was disgusting to look at, and it felt even grosser to have some on yourself. Your own boyfriend’s blood was all over you. All over them.

You began crying again, incapable of holding it in at all. Everything you’d known collapsed in less than an hour, how else were you supposed to react?

Jean and Eren panicked, trying quickly to comfort you by wrapping their arms around you and wiping the blood away, but it only served to make things worse. Their hands were stained with murder, and you didn’t want it on you.

“It’s ok, it’s ok… don’t cry.” Eren tried to wipe your tears, ignoring how you turned away from him and attempted to push his hand. He tried to kiss your face, cupping it to hold you in place while he did. Instead, his lips touched your cheek, so he tried to go along with it and kiss down to your jaw and neck.

You tried to back away, forgetting that Jean was behind you and only pushing yourself further into his chest. He instinctively put his hands on your waist, making your body tense up with anxiety.

Eren looked from you to Jean, meeting eyes with him for a minute before he quietly knelt down in front of you, sliding his hands below Jeans onto your hips. He kissed your stomach, eyes glaring up at you as you grew more and more uneasy.

“Eren, what—what are you doing?” You asked through fading tears, putting your hands on his head and fingers digging hesitantly into his scalp. If you weren’t in the shower, sweat would be rolling down your face. Your brain was going a million miles an hour and you couldn’t focus on anything except the loud beating of your racing heart.

“I’m trying to help you forget, and since you don’t want me kissing your face I thought that maybe I could kiss you,” He paused, moving one of his hands to hold you steady while he threw your leg over his shoulder, “right here.”

You couldn’t move. Your body was frozen. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion as you watched him lean in, placing his lips on your clit. You tightened your grip on his hair which was still neatly tied in a tight bun, trying to pull on it. He didn’t budge, kissing the tender spot between your legs over and over as you failed to protest.

With your attention occupied by Eren, Jean took his chance to grope you rather roughly, squeezing your tits and fondling them vigorously. His fingers grazed over your nipples repeatedly, turning them stiff and extra sensitive the more he rubbed and touched them.

“J-Jean—Jean—“ You stuttered, putting one of your hands over his. You wanted to tell him to stop—you wanted to scream at him and push him away, but you just couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You tried, but you were silent as your mouth hung agape.

Hearing you whimper his name like that had Jean rutting against you, trying to force himself even closer to you than before. He wanted to feel you more and more. Hips grinding on yours, hands groping and feeling you. He needed more.

“Hey… pay more attention to me,” Eren whined, frowning about your shift in attention. He moved back to your clit and stuck his tongue out, beginning to lap at your bud while he stared up at your face. Jealousy was eating him inside. Why didn’t you say his name like that first? He was the one that was between your legs, and he was the one that came up with the idea that led to this. It wasn’t fair that you were moaning for horse face instead.

Eren watched as your face contorted into a mix of pleasure and pain, tears welling up in your eyes but refusing to fall. He latched onto your clit, sucking on it and occasionally flicking over it with his tongue in an effort to milk more sweet sounds out of you. You squirmed but only ended up grinding yourself onto his mouth, so you stopped and tried to hold still instead—which wasn’t very effective.

“Being good for us now, are ya?” Jean hummed, placing his lips on the crook between your shoulder and neck, showering it with light pecks and kisses trailing to your nape. He latched on, beginning to suck away at your skin and leave a large bruise. You had dozens of fading hickeys from Armin, and he was determined to replace them with his own. He needed to show you that you were his now. His.

Slowly, your tiny whimpers of objection began to turn into more carnal whines fueled by the lewd things they’d been doing to you. Things were growing fuzzy, your brain wanting to forget what you had seen.

Eren was getting rougher, making sure to be as loud as he could when he ate you out to subtly brag to Jean about how much he was enjoying it. You felt every moan and every hum on your clit, turning you so heated that you were practically dripping on his face. He had your legs shaking and crumbling under you, turning you into jelly. Just like Armin used to.

Jean had to hold your waist to keep you from falling, still groping you as you nearly went limp. All you could think about was Armin and how you would melt over his touch just like this. You already missed him so much. It was torture.

You couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, whimpering out a quiet “Ar—min…!” through desperate pants as you started to cry again.

Eren froze, as did Jean. For a moment, you thought that maybe they’d changed their minds about what they were doing. That’s what you’d hoped for, anyways—until Eren stood up in front of you, and you saw the furious scowl on his face.

It wasn’t one of the ridiculously overexaggerated frowns he’d have after losing a game to your boyfriend—it wasn’t the kind you could belly laugh at because of how stupid it looked.

This frown was terrifying. It made your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. It made your tears stop out of pure terror.

You felt Jean let go of your waist and chest, replacing his hand on the side of your neck. Your body tensed up again, your face turning hot with anxiety as his hand tightened.

“Let's move this to the bed, Jean,” Eren said, looking behind you at Jean. Your chest felt so heavy.

Not long after he said that, the shower was turned off. Eren slid open the door, stepping out and not even bothering to get a towel as he grabbed your wrist and yanked you out. He dragged you back into the bedroom, pulling you in front of him and pushing you towards the bed. Before you could even attempt to do anything or turn around, he had you bent over the bed, pushing your upper back down so that your spine was arched and your ass was pressed against him.

Jean sat on the bed across from you with his arms crossed, giving you a scowl that was as equally terrifying as Eren’s was. Without breaking eye contact with you, he questioned Eren, “Why do you get to go first?”

You tried to squirm as he finished speaking, not enjoying the implication of what he had said. In the end, it only made Eren push down harder, forcing a few whimpers out of you from the pain of your spine being bent.

“Because I’m the one that dragged them here! Now just shut up and let me do my thing, and you can have your turn with them when I’m done.” He pushed himself against you, allowing you to feel his erection against your heat.

He leaned forward, placing one of his hands by your head and snaking the other around your waist to feel as if you were still wet, pressing his chest against your back. As he did, you began to weep. It was starting to feel like you were being objectified, and you hated it.

You wanted to say something, beg them to think about what they were doing—but you still couldn’t. Nothing came out except desperate cries and hiccups. You looked to Jean, your eyes begging him for help, but he just sat there, staring at you with concern and guilt in his eyes.

After a full minute of watching you cry as Eren probed you, he finally spoke up, looking up at his friend, “Eren.”

“What?” Eren replied, returning his gaze and looking rather annoyed.

“There’s something wrong.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, pausing his actions and pulling his hand away.

“Look,” Jean said, pointing to you.

Eren leaned to the side to get a better look at you, his eyes widening as he got a good glance at your tears. He looked back to Jean, his expression screaming at him to do something because he didn’t know what to do.

Trying to stay calm despite his internal panic, Jean put his hand on your head to pet you while he tried to ask you why you were crying.

“What do you think?! I’m not—I’m not an object,” you managed out between sniffles and hiccups, “I’m not something for you to use.”

There was a momentary pause between them before you felt Eren wrap his other arm around you, his head resting on your shoulder. He nuzzled his face into your skin, his stray hair tickling you as he did.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly, squeezing you tightly.

Jean put his hand over one of yours, holding it tightly and reassuring you, “You’re more than just an object to us.”

“You’re our everything,” Eren spoke right after, while Jean nodded in agreement.

“We just want to make you feel good and help you forget.”

“Please. Let us make you forget about everything. I promise we’ll be so good to you. Please.” Eren begged, putting even more of his weight onto you.

You knew there wasn’t much you could do in this situation. No matter what you said or did, they were going to take you in one way or another—sexually or physically. Part of you wanted to use the situation to distract yourself, even if nothing would be as good as Armin was. You just wanted to forget, to stop thinking about what you saw for even a second.

“Okay… Okay… fine. Do whatever you want, just—just please be gentle.” You said, wiping your tears on the sheets. Just thinking about fighting was exhausting. It was easier to just let them have their way with you, and at the very least you could pretend that one of them was Armin.

Both of them kissed the top of your head, moving away from you and giving you more space—at least Jean did, as Eren still had his hips pushed against you and was not planning to move any time soon.

He put his hand on your back again, running it slowly up and down your spine, attempting to soothe you instead of force you into the bed like before, “We won’t hurt you. We would never hurt you on purpose.”

Jean leaned down to kiss your head again, brushing one of his hands through your hair while Eren reassured you. He kept it there, even when Eren bent over you and began to kiss your nape and shoulder blade again, sucking a fee hickeys into your skin while he did.

You were quiet underneath them, no longer squirming or fighting. It made it so much easier for them to touch and comfort you like they wanted, and so much easier to do other things as well.

Eren stood up again, grabbing a handful of your ass and resuming where he left off before you started crying. He moved his hand to your inner thighs and felt between your folds, checking to see if you were still wet enough for him to keep going—and to his surprise, you were. Even after crying for the 3rd time that night, you were still wet from his tongue against you. He thought it was cute.

You let out a quiet gasp as he slid himself over your sex, moving his hips a few times to “test the waters” before he was ready to put it inside you. After that, he used his fingers to spread you apart, giving him better access to line his head up against you.

Taking in a deep breath, you prepared yourself mentally for what he was about to do. The grip you had on the bedsheets was turning your knuckles pale from how tight it was. You were so nervous.

Noticing how tense you were, Jean squeezed your hand and leaned down to rest his face next to yours. He massaged over your knuckles with his thumb, kissing your head repeatedly until you loosened your grip.

“Just relax, sweetheart. It’s ok.” He cooed, pressing his forehead against you. Glancing at Eren, he gave him a small nod to say that he was free to start.

With a small smirk, Eren pushed his hips into yours, successfully piercing your cunt.

You let out a loud whine, tensing up again as he filled you. As much as you tried to imagine it was Armin, it was so difficult. Eren felt nothing like him—and he was bigger. The way he held you, the way he gripped your hips so tight that it could leave bruises—it was nothing like Armin. Armin was soft and gentle with you, not rough like Eren. You couldn’t pretend he was Armin.

Pushing into you further, Eren was determined to get as deep as he could before actually fucking you. You were so tight, so warm. He wanted to feel it over his entire length.

Letting out a guttural groan, he bottomed out. Your ass squished against his thighs and he was pushing your upper body against the bed, leaning over you and forcing your back into a painful curve from your ass still being in the air.

His face turned red as he slowly slid out, cherishing every ounce of friction he felt. He could only make it halfway out before he succumbed to the urge and slammed back into you, earning another yelp as he got close to hitting your cervix.

“Be careful!” Jean snapped at him, gripping your clenched fist in his hand.

“Shut—the fuck up! Horseface!” Eren yelled back, groaning as he smacked his hips into yours.

With every thrust, you let out loud yelps and moans, your body lunging forward each time he fucked into you. The only thing that kept you from collapsing into the bed was Eren holding you up; your legs felt jello. Everything was so hot, you were burning up. Not only in your face, but in your intimate parts as well.

He filled you up so well. It made you feel so guilty to admit it but he felt amazing inside of you. So amazing that your wetness was dripping down your thighs. It felt even better when you clenched around him, urging him to bury himself in your cunt and stay there.

“Holy shit—oh my god baby, I’m gonna cum too early if you keep squeezing me like that!” Eren stuttered through his pants, increasing his speed while he leaned over you more and squished you against the bed.

The room was filled with pants, moans, and the sound of skin slapping against skin. It was loud. You were loud. Louder than you thought you would be. You were enjoying this more than you thought you would too.

Jean was getting jealous of Eren now, and it was obvious. He was scowling at him, gripping your hand that he forcibly pulled away from the sheets to hold. He wanted to steal your attention, but when he looked at you, you were too caught up in your own pleasure to notice his irritation.

Eren noticed the displeased look on his face and smirked, deciding that it would be funny to tease him, “What’s the—ugh—matter, Jean boy? You upset you gotta wait to have a turn with this perfect angel?”

Jean frowned at his taunts, letting out a quiet “ugh” before he retaliated, “You’re not gonna be laughing when I’m the one making them squirm!”

“Oh, really? We’ll—hah—We’ll see about that,” he groaned, pulling one of his hands back and giving you a hard smack on the ass, “but right now they’re mine.”

You yelped as he slapped you, feeling your eyes water from the sting. He spanked you fucking hard.

Quietly lifting your head up, you managed to stutter out through sniffles, “Please be more gentle.”

He stopped his pounding as soon as you said that, ignoring the murderous glare that Jean gave him as he bent over to kiss your head, the malicious tone in his voice from before disappearing and being replaced by the sweetest voice he could muster, “I‘m sorry, angel. I’ll ask you next time.”

He kissed up and down your nape a few times before standing up, beginning to thrust into you again but much slower than before. It was agonizing, and you almost preferred being spanked to this.

Suddenly, he was on top of you—pushing you down so that you would lay flat on the bed while he continued fucking into you. The new position felt strange until he slid his hand underneath you and found his way to your clit—then all of the feelings you had melted into pleasure. You were rutting against him as he ground into you, not even bothering to pull out and just relishing in your warmth. Even when he wasn’t moving, you felt so good and tight. He could feel himself nearing the edge.

“Baby, baby, oh baby, I think I’m gonna—fucking cum!” Eren managed to say, but not without moaning halfway through as he pushed his pelvis into you. He wrapped his free arm around you and humped against you as quickly as he could, finally reaching his limit and letting loose so that he could finish inside of you.

You were quick to follow his lead as he unraveled inside of you, his fingers rubbing against your clit while you were being stretched out by his length pushing you over the edge. His hips stilled against your twitching ones as you both savored the feeling of your orgasms, leaving a red-faced Jean speechless as he continued to wait for his turn.

He stared at you, growing more and more tempted to reach out and grab you away. He wanted to make you feel that pleasure all over again, but from him this time—and he was growing impatient waiting for it.

So impatient that the second Eren had the strength post-orgasm to push himself up and pull out of you, Jean was pushing him away and pulling you closer to him.

“Hey! What are you doing!” Eren shouted.

“It’s my turn now! You can’t complain!” Jean responded, sticking his tongue out at him as he pulled you up and onto his lap with your back against his chest.

Still delirious from your orgasm, you let him do as he pleased, sitting obediently in his lap and leaning on him.

Eren pouted, mumbling something about he wasn’t done and moving to sit at the head of the bed, leaning on your pillows. He crossed his arms and frowned, glaring intensely at the two of you.

Jean ignored him and continued on with what he was doing, feeling up your hips, outer thighs, and chest. He was much more touchy-feely than Eren was, it seemed; much more eager to caress your body than get to the point and fuck you.

“God, watching you with Eren was fucking agonizing…You’re mine now. Thank god.” He groped you, focusing on fondling your chest while he ground against you.

You melted into his touch, absent-mindedly grinding against him as well. Your brain was completely empty aside from lustful thoughts. All you could think about was keeping the dopamine high you were on so that you didn’t have to think about the heavy things you were suffering through.

Jean slid one hand down to your cunt, touching your clit and rolling over it with his fingers. Eren’s cum dripped out of you and onto Jean’s cock, making him shiver with disgust but push on despite that. He was regretting not being more assertive about sharing you earlier, but it didn’t really matter. He may not have earlier, but he was going to take you now no matter what. And then you would be filled with his cum instead of Eren’s.

“Does it feel better when I’m the one touching you, baby?” He asked as you, increasing the motion against your clit. You whimpered in response, not wanting to say or do something that would upset Eren. However, your lack of an actual response only made him rub faster, wanting to elicit anything that would irritate Eren.

“Jean—Jean!” You cried as he found an extra sensitive spot to touch on your bundle of nerves. After hearing you moan and seeing you squeeze your eyes shut, he sped up his fingers, not halting when your legs involuntarily closed together. Your back arched against his chest, and you couldn’t stop your legs from shaking and squirming.

Jean was smirking as he touched you, prying your legs apart so he could keep going. You writhed and whimpered in his arms, grabbing onto his legs underneath you while you clenched around nothing. The previous orgasm had already made you so sensitive, and with almost no time to rest, another one was building up quickly.

“Do you like this? Hm? Do you, baby?” He asked, dipping his fingers inside of you and continuing to rub your clit with his other hand. You could only nod as he thrust them inside of you, pushing them in and out of you at an intense pace. His fingers were so long and rough, but somehow gentle and loving at the same time—pausing to feel around your insides, trying to memorize every inch of you.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, finally opening your eyes and looking at Eren to see how he was doing. Instead of the angry look you expected, he was staring back at you with his dick in his hand, eyes half-lidded as he pounded into his fist.

Wondering why your breath had hitched, Jean turned his head in the same direction as yours, his mouth falling open when he saw what shocked you.

“Are you serious, Eren?” He asked, pausing everything he was doing to stare at him in disbelief.

Eren paused, growing embarrassed by both of your eyes on him. He covered his mouth and gave Jean his muffled reply, “Just shut up and keep going.”

“Oh? You think this is hot?” Jean teased him, smiling as Eren’s expression grew frustrated.

“I said shut up!”

“Whatever you want,” Jean said, pulling his fingers out of you and spinning you around on his lap so you faced him, and then turning his entire body so that your back was facing Eren.

It took him a minute to process what he had done and why, but once he did, a smug smile took over Eren’s face and he suddenly wasn’t as embarrassed anymore, “Thanks for the different view, Horseface.”

He leaned back against the headboard, one hand at his side and the other on his length while he stared at your ass. His cheeks were still red with embarrassment and lust, but he felt no need to hide it anymore.

Rolling his eyes, Jean moved one of his hands down to your ass, using the other to help position himself at your heat. He rubbed the head against your clit, gathering your natural arousal on himself before pushing into you ever so slightly.

“I’m putting it in now, ok?” He said, leaning his forehead against yours.

You nodded, your shaking hands reaching to grab onto his shoulders as he slowly guided your hips down his cock.

“Oh god, baby…” He moaned as he reached as deep as he could go, still trying to push you even further down. He buried his face into your neck, inhaling your sweet scent and trying to keep himself from going overboard. As much as he wanted to give you a chance to adjust, he also wanted to grab your hips and rail you like a human fleshlight.

While he was whimpering about how tight you squeezed him into your neck, you were more focused on getting used to this new feeling. Jean was less girthy than Eren, but a little bit longer—just long enough to touch your cervix, in fact. Even without any movement, just sitting on him, the tip of his dick was kissing it. It felt so strange—almost painful, but in a good way that had you clenching around him.

You were whining against his neck, trying not to squirm in his lap while he got comfortable, shifting around underneath you. His nails dug so tight into your hips you were sure you were going to bleed—but you didn’t care. You just wanted him to fuck you like it was the last thing he’d do.

Eren was already stroking himself again, biting his lip to hold back his noises. He was staring at your ass, trying to fantasize about being in you from behind while Jean did his own thing. He craved it so badly, but doing something intense like that after you’d already gone through so much just a little over an hour ago was not a good idea. Instead, he decided that it could wait for when you joined him and Jean at their shared apartment—maybe as a sort of celebration for finally catching you. That would be so much fun—for you and them.

“Ride me, baby, please.” Jean gripped the back of your head, leaning into you so that your chest was pressed against his and you were flush against him. He held you tightly, his legs shaking from holding back; he wanted to flip you over and fuck you like Eren did.

You tried to comply, lifting yourself up about an inch or two before falling down on him again; the way he held you gave you almost no room to move. You were stuck with him bottomed out in you no matter how hard you tried.

“Jean—Jean, I can’t move when you’re holding me like this…” you spoke quietly, whimpering at the feeling of his tip repeatedly pushing on your cervix.

Fumbling, he was quick to let go and lay back, mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’ as his hands slid from around you to your chest. For a minute, he just fondled you, pawing at and squeezing your tits before moving his hands to your hips, ready to help you move on his cock.

Before you could even start, he was already lifting you up and slamming you back down, thrusting his hips up to meet you halfway. You hadn’t even gotten a chance to do it yourself, instead being bounced on his length by him alone.

“Fuck! Fuck! Jean!” You cried, putting your hands on his chest as he began going faster, holding you up while he fucked up into you, bashing against your cervix. He stared at your chest, panting as he put all of his energy into taking you.

“Fuck baby, fuck, you feel so good!” He moaned in ecstasy, stopping for a moment to move his hands to your ass and get a better grip on you, “Even better than I dreamed.”

You were nearly in tears; He was already so fast for having just started, it was overstimulating.

“What happened to being careful, Jean-boy?” Eren asked, teasing him for his hypocrisy while he leaned forward and put his hand next to one of Jean’s, still stroking himself.

“Shut up!” Jean yelled out, smacking his hand away and fucking you even faster.

“Tch. Asshole.” Eren responded, leaning onto the headboard again and rubbing himself even faster.

You started crying, moans slipping past your lips as your cunt was ravaged. You were praying that he would tire out soon because you didn’t know how much more of this you could take. You were so sore and as good as it felt, it still made your insides ache.

Jean was panting heavily, beads of sweat rolling down his red face. He looked tired, almost dizzy—a direct result of exuding all of his energy too early. He slowed his hips, still trying to guide you to keep going, but he was too exhausted to keep going.

Instead of continuing where he left off, you sat on his lap, quiet and unmoving, as equally as tired as he was. You were so tired that you couldn’t even hold yourself up, your body collapsing on top of his.

Feeling pity for you and Jean—mostly you—Eren stopped his self-pleasuring to move closer, putting his hands on your hips and slowly grinding them down on Jean’s dick while he asked, “Do you need some help, Jean?”

He wanted to say no, to shove him away and keep going by himself, but Jean’s body was too tired to, and he was too desperate to finish inside of you. Swallowing his pride, he wrapped his arms around you and quietly replied, “Fine, Eren.”

With a smirk on his lips, Eren grabbed your hips and forced you to lift your thighs, guiding you down slowly and then repeating. All you did was raise and lower yourself, letting him do the work of positioning you.

Jean buried his face into your shoulder, whimpering as you moved at a much slower speed than before. He was holding you against him, trying to move his hips to help Eren, even if it wasn’t much.

You were basically just grinding against Jean, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t need to move much. As long as you got him to finish in the end, then it wouldn’t matter. As long as you got through this, it would be ok.

“Keep moving, baby. I need to take care of myself too.” Eren said, putting his pelvis against your ass so you’d grind against him and Jean as you moved. He grabbed his dick, stroking it while you moved against him. It felt good, but not as good as being inside of you—that’s something nothing would ever compare to.

Jean was starting to move faster again—not as fast as before, but still fast enough to build up to release quickly. He whispered sweet things into your ear, praising you for being good and telling you how amazing you felt. His voice was shaking and his hips stuttered against yours, the knot in his stomach building up quickly. You could feel it growing, the slow pleasure building in your lower abdomen inducing a fuzzy feeling in your chest.

Your cunt pulsed around him as he kept hitting your cervix, finally reaching your breaking point as you cried out, falling apart on top of him and letting out a single sob as you were filled by him. Everything felt so good that you could almost ignore the pain that you were sure would follow.

As you squeezed him, he could feel his release coming quickly, his cock twitching inside of you as the pressure grew. His orgasm hit like a brick, his hips thrusting into you a few more times before he bottomed out for the last time and held you there.

His cum mixed with Eren’s inside of you, dripping down onto his dick as he pulled out. His hips were still twitching as he held you, his face buried in the side of your head while he inhaled your intoxicating scent.

Behind you, Eren was also reaching his second climax, his hand going faster and faster and the warmth inside of him growing. He shut his eyes tight, imagining his fist was your pussy as he squeezed his dick until he came, his release splayed across your back. He’d fucked his hand hundreds of times before while thinking about it, but nothing could compare to what you actually felt like.

You whined, feeling uncomfortable at the warm fluid on your lower back. Eren leaned over you, breathing heavily but not panting. He was still for a moment, apologizing and massaging your waist before he moved away from you and Jean, getting off of the bed and heading to the bathroom to clean himself up.

After he was cleaned up and had his boxers back on, Eren grabbed a rag and wet it, making his way to the bed to clean you off. He wiped your back off, moving inside your thighs and cleaning the mess he and Jean made. Contemplating for a moment, he decided to be a good friend and clean the cum from Jean’s lap, tossing the rag to the side when he finished.

Jean thanked him, still clinging onto you as he rolled onto his side.

“Are you gonna get up now, horsie? We have shit to take care of.” Eren asked, shaking his shoulder and frowning when all he did was groan.

“Get my boxers and I’ll think about it.” He said, a tiny smirk on his face as he did.

Annoyed, Eren let out a long sigh and stomped into the bathroom to grab his underwear. When he returned, he threw them at Jean’s head and repeated, “Now?”

“Fine! Fine! I’m getting up!” Jean sighed as he sat up, kissing your head as he did. He slipped on his boxers and walked into the bathroom, the sound of cabinets opening and closing following.

As he left, your head followed him, trying to figure out what the “shit they had to take care of” was.

Eren walked up to you, pulling you into a sitting position and putting a finger over your mouth when you tried to ask what was happening. He turned away after, leaving you confused as he walked to the closet and dug through it. He pulled out a baggy gray sweater and walked back to you, tugging it over your head without asking and forcing your arms through the sleeves.

You looked down at the sweater, feeling your heart sink when you realized who’s it was.

“Armin…” You whimpered, tears welling in your eyes. The guilt and despair grew again as you realized what you did. You fucked your boyfriend’s murders. You let your boyfriend’s murderers fuck you.

Eren, who had gone back to the closet to grab a new pair of underwear for you, turned around as soon as he heard you sob, rushing to comfort you with your panties in his hand.

Jean emerged from the bathroom when he heard you, looking between you and Eren before asking, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“What do you think, dumbass?” Eren replied, glaring at him while he wrapped his arms around you.

Jean scoffed and walked over, hugging you with Eren and petting your head.

You cried more, covering your face as the tears fell. The post-orgasm clarity was setting in, and it felt horrible.

Jean and Eren whispered to each other above your head, quiet enough that you couldn’t hear what they were saying. They spoke back and forth into each other’s ears, careful to make sure you wouldn’t understand.

After a minute of conversing in whispers, they both went quiet. Eren sat on the bed next to you, wrapping his arm around you and rubbing your shoulder.

“Put these on for me, ok?” He smiled, holding out your panties for you and shooting Jean a look that you couldn’t read, “We’ll take care of you.”

Nodding through tears and sniffles, you took the panties and put them on quickly, not wanting to feel exposed to them any longer. Eren kissed your head and pulled you into his chest, rubbing your shoulders and back to soothe you while you cried.

Without your eyes on him, Jean quietly left the room to get a glass of water from the kitchen. On the way there, he shielded his vision from the living room, trying to avoid seeing the upsetting scene more than he would inevitably have to when he went to clean it up. He did the same as he walked back, speeding by quickly to avoid the mess.

When he returned to the room, he handed Eren the glass of water and grabbed a small bottle of melatonin tablets from off the bathroom counter. He had taken it with him to the party as part of the plan, only retrieving them from his pants after he was done fucking you but promptly leaving them in the bathroom when he heard you cry.

He unscrewed the child-safety top, took four 5mg tablets out, and put it back on. You looked at him as he told you to hold out your hand, wiping your tears and runny nose with your other sleeve as you did. He handed them to you and told you to take them, so you did—without even thinking—the strawberry-flavored tablets dissolving on your tongue.

Eren urged you to drink some of the water before he put the glass down, moving closer to the middle of the bed so he could lie down with you. Jean walked to the other side, laying by your side and wrapping his arms around your waist, cuddling into you. Eren did the same, hugging your upper body and enveloping you in his and Jean’s warmth.

It was almost relaxing like this, being so warm and cozy. You could feel your eyelids become heavy and your tears dissipate in favor of a stuffy nose and red eyes, your body growing heavier with each passing second.

“Just relax, sweetheart. We’ll have everything taken care of by the time you wake up.” Jean said softly, running his hand up and down your thigh.

“It’s been a long night. Just sleep, baby.” Eren encouraged you, kissing your head and moving as close as he could to you. He caressed your cheek, overwhelming you with all the soft touches you were receiving. It made you so tired.

You were afraid to fall asleep. You were terrified of it, but couldn’t stop. It was too much by now, the drowsiness taking over and your eyes slowly shutting. Eren and Jean continued to coo and comfort you, finally telling you as you drifted to sleep what their plan was.

“We can’t wait for you to come home.”

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