#its such a unifying factor to me and i love every bit of it so much....

[autism-corner]

i love seeing trans people in public its so awesome to get joy from knowing the fact that we exist <3

[sort-of-ok-reviews]

Space Oddity (A.K.A David Bowie, Man of Words/Man Of Music) – 1969

One song. Often, that’s all it takes to separate the starving artist from the cultural icon. And while some may fail to bloom under the shadow that one song casts, others can adapt, overcome, and become more than just a top 5 track on the UK singles chart. However, this does not mean the struggle to become known for more than just a single is any less difficult. And for a period, David Bowie squirmed under the weight of Space Oddity, a track that would come to define a iconic aspect of his ever-changing public persona: the allure of the extra-terrestrial. 

Space Oddity’s success can largely be accredited to two factors: the perfect storm of events, and Bowie’s ability to read the cultural climate. Several stoned screenings of Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey coloured the artist’s imagination with shades of isolation and the bold unknown, and with the single being released in the same month of the iconic Apollo 11 mission, it’s success as a perceived novelty record was all but assured (Hell, the track was even used as background music by the BBC during their coverage of the launch.). A new deal was then struck with Mercury and Philips Records, so that they could strike while the iron was hot; A new album that would capitalize on the success of the celestial single.

 And I mean, it did have name power on its side! (When it wasn’t using one of several false US identities.) When first scouring through the Bowie catalogue post spiritual awakening via Ziggy, I was drawn to this album: This is where that Major Tom song came from! and a dissociative yet disgusted gaze from our curly locked artist smack dab in the middle of the cover intrigued me even more. And as a high school student with a growing appreciation for the folksier side of 60’s psychedelia, seeing how my favourite artist tackled the genre with a...looser approach provided a decidedly unique album experience. But enough pre-amble, let’s get into it shall we? 

So, What’s It Like? 

Despite Space Oddity’s psychedelic rock leanings, the album that surrounds it instead opts for a folksy flavour, with smatterings of blues here and there. It could be considered that Bowie has swapped the Newley influence for a Bob Dylan one, as tracks like Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed make it hard to not make comparisons. However, I would argue that this may be one of the album’s biggest strengths. The soundscapes present on Space Oddity are considerably more unified than on the previous record, presenting a coherent album experience where one track flows near seamlessly into the other. Almost every track offers a lighter, stripped back approach to its instrumentation that does wonders in boosting Bowie’s credibility as a figure aligned with contemporary culture, rather than adjacent to it. The more focused application of electric guitar across several tracks should also be credited for this, providing a bit more edge to an otherwise softer pop persona. This stripped back instrumentation also produces a considerably more intimate affair, supported by uncharacteristically vulnerable lyricism from Bowie: think of the frankly honest anguish over heartbreak in Letter to Hermione, the exhausted aggression against cliché in Cygnet Committee. It is here, that Bowie’s lyricism lightly strays from character studies, and eyes social commentary through a lens of disillusionment. After all, Bowie’s late arrival to the free love movement positioned him as an outlier, not fully convinced by the passive idealism of its frontrunners. From a retrospective sense, the album potentially offers a pastiche of 60’s counterculture as the dying embers of free love began to flicker out at the dawn of the new decade: a passionate, yet self-aware embrace of what was hot from someone who never fully bought into it. Imitation would become an integral part of Bowie’s DNA, potentially suggesting this record was integral in the development of Bowie’s chameleon like approach to pop.

 However, this stance comes from the perspective of an obsessive geek who may be reading into a 53-year-old album just a tad too much. Occasionally, the somewhat rushed production surfaces through tracks with meandering, slightly half-baked ideas: while pleasant sounding, An Occasional Dream lacks a succinct purpose on the record other than to be folksy and dripping with a faux psychedelic sentimentality that could almost be mistaken with the debut album’s design philosophies. And Janine, while offering a uniquely macabre lyrical focus for folk (Hot Girl is MURDERER?) Instrumentally does little to stand out from an album that already has a heavy guitar focus; It becomes slightly lost in a soup of 60’s nostalgia, even though the decade is yet to finish. And despite its legendary status, Space Oddity does suffer somewhat ironically in terms of fitting the more grounded themes of the record designed around it.. While sonically more unified, Space Oddity’s most prevalent problem seems to arise in whether it wants to embrace the culture that influences it, of offer a tongue and cheek response to it. Perhaps it didn’t quite have enough time to answer. 

What’s Worth Listening To? 

Space Oddity: The importance of this song can never be overstated. The story of Major Tom’s mission gone wrong has become household mythology, and it remains as one of the most popular space themed singles to this day (Take THAT, Rocketman.) I think this can be attributed to the harmony between its future facing sound design, and clear lyrical focus; themes of isolation come clear through the superb bass work, and that stylophone expertly conveys the epic and somewhat tragic scale of the narrative through its imitation of orchestral strings. Bowie’s vocal delivery should also be credited, crafting an emotion halfway between fear and ambivalence. A masterwork.

 Letter to Hermione: A moment of vulnerability on the record creates one of Bowie’s more honest tracks. Having broken up with Hermione Farthingale, this song means to convey Bowie’s mourning over the lost relationship. With the only instrumental feature being layers of acoustic guitar, it creates an wonderfully intimate experience where the raw emotion in Bowie’s vocal performance is allowed to take centre stage. A truly underrated song. 

Cygnet Committee: Despite an overly ambitious length for its content (9 minutes, oy vey…) Cygnet Committee offers a sweeping, epic perspective on the hypocrisies of the hippie counterculture. Bowie’s lyricism is at its strongest here, setting a tone of exhaustion and desperation against the passive sense of idealism that defined the culture. The last two minutes of the song I would argue as the highlight of the track, the rising emotion in Bowie’s voice (HE WANTS TO LIVE, DAMN YOU) combined with the upward scale of the guitar create for a truly triumphant call for freedom.

 Wild Eyed Boy from Freecloud: This track would occasionally see some use on the later day Ziggy tours, and it is not hard to see why: A more fleshed out orchestral sound on this track gives it a grand scale, and the lyrical focus of a societal outcast rebelling and succeeding against the grain offers flashes of a proto-glam philosophy. I have a particular soft spot for this track, the harp and trumpet used in this track are incredible, and the lyric of “You’ll lose me though I’m always really free.” Always sets the soul ablaze. One of the strongest cuts from the brief hippy fixation. 

God Knows I’m Good: Weird little characters? We’ve still got them! This song focuses on a kindly old woman fearfully stealing some tinned food, justifying her theft by claiming that, funnily enough, God knows she’s good. An interesting exploration of morality vs spirituality in a modern context, this track gives also gives strong Dylan vibes through the acoustic fixation.

 Memory of a Free Festival: Smatterings of Hey Jude and Free Love romanticism make up this final track in which Bowie recalls the idyllic and near-perfect occurrences of one summer afternoon at a Beckenham Arts Lab festival. The track almost has a humorous quality when the truth of the day is revealed (apparently, Bowie had something of a temper tantrum on the day from “materialistic arseholes” selling posters and hamburgers.) But let it be said that the truth never got in the way of a good song writing opportunity. The song’s mellow, stoner-lite atmosphere is deeply enjoyable, and maintained by the soothing notes of a chord organ, and the chorus chanting nearing the end really invokes the sense of community that is likely intended. Always one for theatrics, I suggest the song represents the closing of what the 60’s represented to Bowie, and the promise of what the 70’s may bring. Tall Venusians invokes a type of space age fantasy, after all.

 Final Thoughts? 

Overall, Space Oddity is an immense improvement over Bowie’s first record and works well as a transitionary point between the cultural artefact period of his career, and the golden run of records that arguably began with the immediately successive album. As a music history nerd, Bowie’s take on the folk centric psychedelia that dominated the late 60’s remains fascinating in its passionate artificiality and shows stronger hints that a unique voice was being developed amidst the chameleon-esque soundscapes of the Beatles, The Stones, and Bob Dylan. Ultimately, this is a good record that slightly suffers from a rushed production period, and from the shadow that the title track casts over it. The record listening crowd can be a fickle beast to tame, and it was clear the mainstream public's expectations of Bowie were all over the place. This is evident from the album’s mixed critical reception that still stands to this day. However, this view ultimately diminishes the quality of song writing that is present on this record. While occasionally unsure of its tone or stance, the branching out to societal commentary alongside character studies firmly places Bowie as a strong lyricist not to be scoffed at, and the instrumentation present here sets the stage for a much more contemporary, albeit embryonic David Bowie. If you’re a fan of the genre this album parades, there is something to get out of it. However, it may take more than one listen to fully appreciate it, but I would say that this a record that well rewards your patience with repeat listens. I'd also heavily recommend listening to the 2019 mix of this album: The production value really allows for the instrumentation to sound more lush, and the addition of fan favorite B-Side Conversation Piece is simply marvelous.  Give it a spin and decide for yourself.

 “Kind of iffy, in that musically it never really had a direction.... I don’t think that I as the artist, had a focus about where it should go.” David Bowie on Space Oddity, 2000.

Score: 7/10

[nwdsc]

(A Calm That Shifts | Stephen Beckerから)

A Calm That Shifts by Stephen Becker

It’s easy to become absorbed by the raw musicianship on display throughout A Calm That Shifts, Brooklyn singer-songwriter Stephen Becker’s debut full-length LP. Its psychedelic pop songs lean into hairpin turns in song structure, style, and emotional affect. Becker’s proficiency as a musician is breathtaking—he plays almost every instrument on the record—evidencing a formidable jazz pedigree and an appreciation for the technical prowess of progressive 2000s indie-rock units like Dirty Projectors, St. Vincent, and Grizzly Bear. It’s difficult to resist playing each of these tracks back to latch onto a musical throughline only caught after it was almost over: a bit of sinuous guitar and synth counterpoint, a pivot between a fractured groove and rhythmic malfunction, or a gorgeous Brian Wilson-reminiscent chord modulation. But though Becker loves to push his own musicianship to its limit and revel in the element of surprise, he is most interested in smoothing over peaks and valleys—in “making complexity sound intuitive and digestible,” as he puts it. His vocals are muted and conversational, unifying these songs effortlessly. Sometimes he lapses into whispered, half-sketched narratives that recall heroes like Sibylle Baier and Elliott Smith; elsewhere, he spins sticky and enigmatic phrases out into cathartic mantras, channeling Thom Yorke or Björk’s high drama. Recorded over the course of three years with his childhood friend and producer Adam Hirsch, the record touches on, among so much else, the breakdown of communication between family members, the NYC-specific illusion of a better life lived upstate, a documentary about Elvis’ later years, and Werner Herzog’s essays on film theory. But perhaps its central preoccupation—most clearly explored on “Unspoken”—were childhood memories of being told to speak up by teachers and other adults, and how the concept of quietness factors into the way he lives his life as a near-thirty-year-old. “It was frustrating to be told to talk louder when I felt it was loud enough,” Becker recalls. “[The song] is about the impulse to move in the opposite direction and be even quieter, a meditation on how emotions and thoughts can be expressed without words, through actions alone.” By point of contrast, other songs indict forms of metaphorical loudness. For instance, there is the “doomed population in a digital haze” projecting “holographic” selves—often, more successful versions of themselves. Becker grew up in Los Angeles, surrounded by the children of celebrities and aspiring artists striving to be famous or acting like they already were. On the hallucinatory acoustic ballad “Secondary Player,” Becker critiques the models of success he has gravitated towards as a working musician. One of the album’s most indelible couplets crops up here: “I used to have plans but now I just need some space/Let me play bass.” There is a subtle affinity between Becker’s musical language and libretto on A Calm That Shifts that make the record feel like more than the sum of its parts, and a disarmingly earnest statement. The push and pull between extroversion and reticence in the music evokes Becker’s working model for a life well-lived: the attempt to preserve inner peace and represent one’s self honestly while fending off the myriad factors in the modern world which threaten to disrupt that balance. クレジット2022年10月14日リリース Written and performed by Stephen Becker Recorded, mixed and produced by Adam Hirsch at: Tiny Telephone Recording in San Francisco, CA The Creek in Oakland, CA Figure 8 Recording in Brooklyn, NY July 2018 - April 2021 Mastered by Jacob Winik Cover art by Miles Wintner and Stephen Becker

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of July. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Jealousy, Jealousy | Not Rated | 1163 words 

Harry gets jealous when James Corden hold his Louis in his lap and pets him on the Late Late Show. He shows Louis who he belongs to and takes care of him.

2) The X-Factor Judge | Explicit | 1635 words 

Harry watches the X-Factor and gets jealous about Brendan jumping on Louis. When Louis gets home Harry reminds him whom he belongs to. 

3) Didn’t Know You Had It In You | Explicit | 1807 words 

Harry sleeptalks and reveals his kinks which Louis is more than happy to try out.

4) Mine | Explicit | 1979 words 

"So you been single for a while now?" Louis gulped as the vibrator slowed down sending a thankful look to Harry before glancing back at the interview who was looking at him with great interest,

"Uhhh yeah," he replied keeping his answer short and brief. He straightened his back shuffling slightly on his chair as the vibrator shifted inside of him hitting his prostate causing him to let out a small gasp as grimaced at the interviewer who just grinned back. She must be an excellent actress or just stupidly oblivious.

5) In The Moment | Explicit | 2611 words 

Note: This is part 2 of this series.

Where it's their first time and Harry is being all fluffy and encouraging Louis to say his name and other dirty stuff?

6) Salvation Under My Breath | Not Rated | 2858 words 

Louis is pregnant...

...and Horny

7) The Sight of You Brings Forth a Peace In Me | Mature | 3254 words

Louis loses inspiration and goes on a nature walk to find some. The inspiration takes shape in the form of Harry. 

8) Put Your Sweet Lips On My Lips | Explicit | 3435 words 

Note: Part one of this fic is #23 on this list. 

Adjusting to one another’s life came as naturally as the sun rising in the morning and brightening the sky, chasing away the darkness that had dared to lurk in its absence. They did not side step each other, did not second guess their instincts once they were finally together. It was the crash of roaring waves - reckless in their paths - but upon meeting had unified into calm waters in the vast sea.

Living with Harry was like a breath of fresh air. In all his years, Louis had never felt alive. He supposed there was some credit to be given to how devoted Harry was to him. The man would rather step in a raging fire than let him suffer even a trace amount of agony.

9) Fuck U (Even) Betta | Explicit | 3568 words 

Note: This is the sequel to this fic.

Harry had sensed Louis was getting antsy all day, prodding and poking at Harry’s psyche like a game of mental whack-a-mole, trying to find that one thing that would flip the switch and push Harry over the edge. Even after all these years Louis still thinks he can get a rise, that he can in any way control the scenario. He couldn’t be more wrong.

10) We Act Like Nothing Is Wrong To Avoid What’s In Front of Us | Mature | 4179 words 

Louis sends nudes meant for Harry to the wrong person on accident. Harry finds out. Rough sex ensues.

11) Love's First Bite | Explicit | 6135 words 

Note: The pairing in this fic is Louis/Zayn.

For Zayn, love was never a part of life’s equation, not when you’re considered a lowly vampire while working in the Vampire’s royalty club, Love’s First Bite. He’s bitter and resentful and sees no point in looking into his past or future. But when Zayn saves a human named Louis, it all changes. He finds something special in him and, more importantly, someone worth giving up everything he holds dear.

12) Your Blueberry Eyes | Mature | 6154 words 

Louis tattoos and Harry falls for blues.

13) Blow Me Away | Explicit | 6471 words 

Louis likes giving blow jobs.

He doesn't exactly get off on it – he's been with people who properly loved it, and he's not quite that into it – but he doesn't mind the feel or the taste and he really, really likes watching his partner lose it, so getting down on his knees regularly is a no brainer.

Which is why it's a bit frustrating that every time he does, Liam hauls him back up again.

14) Thank You For This Prom Night | Not Rated | 6554 words 

Note: This is part 3 of this series.

It's Prom Night. Stuff happens.

15) Can We Make It Anymore Obvious? | Explicit | 6628 words 

Five times the boys accidentally walked in on Harry & Louis plus one time they did it on purpose.

16) It's The Way You Love (I Gotta Give It Back To You) | Explicit | 8153 words 

Stretching, Louis finally pulled the duvet aside and let his feet fall onto the plush rug at his feet. Louis lived for soft, comfortable, plush things. From the fairy lights and fake plants to his plush robe and thick socks, everything in Louis’ little one bedroom apartment was carefully catered to his whimsical and soft aesthetic.

17) My Eyes Want You More Than A Melody | Explicit | 8315 words 

Harry’s brain is short-circuiting at an absolutely awful time, the more expressive side of him is falling to pieces for some reason. The only responses he can give are venerated vibrations and nods, the feeling of Louis’ sweaty skin sliping him further into nothingness. Lightly dewy thighs, so muscular and plush— his lips feel just the same, so dangerously soft, a devious intention lying behind it all. “You’d do anything for me,” Louis mumbles, teeth tugging on Harry’s bottom lip, eyes dragging from his sinfully pink mouth when he lets it go to his hooded green eyes. “Isn't that right, daddy?” Harry whimpers— something that’s so foreign to him— but nods, trailing his hands up his shaved thighs, fingertips passing the hem of the dress.

18) Running Is Different Than Going | Explicit | 9018 words 

Note: The pairing is Louis/OMC.

On the run, the last thing Michael expects from a stranger is help. Louis offers him everything he needs so he can keep running, but makes it harder than ever to continue doing so.

19) Quarantine, Baby! | Teen & Up | 9615 words 

Note: There is no smut, but it contains mpreg Louis, so we’ve included it in this monthly roundup. 

When Harry and Louis get a little too bored in quarantine, they turn to each other for some x-rated entertainment. Then, what starts as a COVID-scare, turns out to be something completely different.

20) Effervescent Horizons | Not Rated | 10676 words 

Note: This is part 6 of this series. There is also no smut, but it contains mentions of bottom Louis, so we’ve included it in this monthly roundup. 

They go to college together!

21) Moments | Explicit | 10726 words 

Looking back, Louis should’ve known that the universe likes to fuck with idiots like him who think they’ve got it all sorted.

Looking back, he should’ve known that the minute he relaxed and let his guard down, when he thought things were going smoothly, that’s when it would hit him.

Looking back, he should’ve known to be on the lookout for a curveball.

He just hadn’t accounted for that curveball to have long legs, green eyes, and dimples; a curveball named Harry Styles.

22) The Blood Is Rare (And Sweet As Cherry Wine) | Explicit | 14270 words 

Note: The sequel to this fic is #8 on this list. 

"Officer, I see you're giving away my secrets already," Harry said as he entered the room.

"It's hardly a secret," Louis accepted the delicate glass, cutting a glance at the man when the underlying scent hit him, "A little early to indulge in such things, isn't it?"

"You've had a long morning, I'm sure. Merely looking after your health, Officer," Harry smiled.

"You don't need to concern yourself with that."

"Someone has to."

23) Violent Delights | Not Rated | 76174 words 

Prince Harry is arranged to mate Princess Charlotte, but first he must spend a month completing courting traditions which ends in a mating ceremony. When he arrives to the Tomlinson castle, he finds the forbidden North wing holds that which the family has worked hard to keep secret. Mainly: the sickly sweet Prince Louis, who’s rare gender has forced his family to keep him locked away for his own protection.

24) Truth Behind Golden Eyes | Explicit | 228727 words 

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[boldbrash-fandertrash]

Ignore me, unless I’m right in which case I fucking called it

So I was rewatching the episode for the fourth time and one I realized that Remus is much much smarter than we give him credit for and two I can generally predict how the rest of the story is gonna go.

We’re gonna have another aside video with Patton and Janus before the big season finale, and that aside is going to be one of the most important videos to the general progression of the plot.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the pattern so far, two sides who diametrically oppose each other being forced to work together on a problem they vastly disagree about, usually turning the small issue into something much messier than it ever would be and them learning something about themselves in the process.

Each pairing exists to point out to the viewer exactly what issues exist with each side that need some form of resolving, and the big unifying theme amongst them is “you’re not listening to me”. Roman and Virgil dragging Thomas across the cafeteria in favor of or agains him talking to Nico, Logan and Remus deliberately ignoring and working to undo the others work in an attempt to break Thomas out of the depressive funk he found himself in. Nobody is working together here. The only side to even remotely cooperate with the group was Virgil body checking Thomas into Nico, and it took him and Roman bullying each other and Thomas for an entire video to even get to that point.

Watching Logan and Remus interact, one, brought me immense joy and I will be chasing that high for weeks to come, and two, after an ounce of critical thinking was frankly painful to watch. Any critiques Logan offered to Remus were immediately discarded with absurdity and any critiques Remus offered to Logan were discounted as absurd.

During the obvious scene at the end with the Eyes™️, Logan claimed he wasn’t pretending Remus didn’t exist, but honestly, he kinda was.

The Dunce Cap Scene really accentuates this point. Logan pulls a holier than thou, why won’t you learn I’m always right, bullshit passive aggressive remark, Remus does his dramatic repenting student shtick, starts singing directly into Logan’s ear, and makes a kink joke. Literally the words Remus sings are “can’t fix this guy, all by yourself”. Remus is saying this inches from Logan’s personal face and even still the logical side ignores him outright, because of all the fluff around the message. Hell, in Remus’s introduction video, Logan likens him to a screaming baby on a plane, essentially saying “well eventually he’ll stop screaming so just bear with it for a while and you’ll be fine”. He’s ignoring Remus outright due to a preconceived notion and missing out on valuable information because of it.

The dunce cap scene indirectly calls back to learning new things about ourselves, where Logan is completely unreceptive to the puppet bit because of its perceived absurdity and absolutely refuses to acknowledge any potential the medium might have for learning until he physically cannot anymore.

Remus is capable of, and does often, make valid points and offers genuine critiques of shit happening in their lives. In Forbidden Fruit, almost every single line harkens back to some idea the other sides had been trying, and failing, to communicate to Thomas. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense”, “if you shared those musings with your friends i doubt they would forgive you”, “why deny yourself knowledge, say, knowledge of yourself” “people don’t like me much, Thomas, but that only just cause I’m honest”, “these sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man who’s soul is truly rotten.”

Despite all of this, he is ignored outright because of his medium. Just like Logan is ignored due to his monotone cadence and large volume of content, just like Roman is due to his flair for the dramatic and artistic display of ideas, just like Patton is due to his playful and childlike nature, just like Janus is due to his perceived role as the Villain, just like Virgil /was/ due to his perceived role as the villain.

They all have become accustomed to being stepped on by the other sides because of who they are and how they communicate, and have in turn learned some less than ideal methods of being heard again. Logan yells and gets passive aggressive, Remus ups the fear factor for everyone around him, Roman shuts down anyone who tries to talk through bullying and raising his voice, Patton manipulates the others into feeling guilt and covers it up with a smile, Virgil whips out the tempest tongue and incites fear in Thomas, and Janus physically silences anyone in his way.

And here’s why I say the next asides episode is going to be the most important one developmentally. Patton and Janus are going to be forced to work together. Patton, who is in the midst of an identity crisis, and willing to listen to any new ideas provided they offer a valid solution to the shit he’s found himself in, and Janus, who knows a lot more than he’s willing to let on, who concerns himself exclusively with Thomas’s self preservation, and loves to talk when given the opportunity. Janus is gonna have a thing or two to say to Patton when they’re inevitably faced with their moral dilemma, and Patton is going to be in just the right mindset that he’s willing to listen. And Janus is going to end up being right, and the small issue they’re facing will be resolved, which will therefore strengthen Patton’s trust, and his openness to changing for the better.

Patton is goofy, and childish, and kinda ditzy sometimes, and because of that we as a fandom tend to overlook any of his moments that are anything but that, but we are not giving this man enough credit. When Patton sets his heart on something, he throws his whole self into it, and is willing to stand up for his beliefs in the face of extreme opposition, and would gladly do anything in his power to defend his family. Once Patton decides that he’s willing to grow, and if he believes that this growth will help put his family back together, nothing can stop him, and that will be absolutely crucial for the growth of all the other sides around him.

Whatever him and Janus discuss during their aside will absolutely give Patton the information he needs to help stitch together the rift between everyone.

I predict the next official Sanders Sides video is going to be the longest one yet, possibly over an hour long, because there’s a LOT of work that is going to need to be done, and Everyone is going to be in it. The big issue of “you’re not listening to me” won’t be resolved, but it will be acknowledged in a serious light by everyone. We won’t be getting any appearances from the Orange Side I don’t think, that would end up just complicating matters even more when each character is already incredibly shaky in their own identity.

Something less than ideal is gonna happen between Thomas and Nico, he’s gonna summon the initial three to deal with the matter but the other lads are gonna worm their way into the discussion, everyone’s gonna start screaming at each other, and Pattons gonna do something that stuns everyone else into silence (I’m guessing he’ll start crying, considering the start of season two was all about him repressing negative emotions and what better way to show character growth than to sob openly on camera).

Once everyone just fucking stops for ten seconds that’s when the apologies start. None of the sides are ever the first to apologize, we’ve seen that time and time again. Their desire to be in the right as well as their pride will always get in the way, however if someone starts the apology train everyone will eventually follow suit. We see that in Alone On Valentines Day, My Negative Thinking, Growing Up, Accepting Anxiety, Fitting In, Moving On, actually in pretty much every video where an apology actually takes place, once one person apologizes the other will immediately follow suit.

Patton is gonna be a goddamn mess, he’s gonna apologize to everyone in the room for anything he thinks he may have done to wrong them, and that’s gonna be what gets everyone to acknowledge all the shit they’ve put each other through, and the others are going to jump between trying to console him and trying to apologize to each other. They’re going to come to the unified decision that they need to work together more on future issues, the group is all going to offer up a solution and decide together on a remedy to whatever happened together between Thomas and Nico, and that will be that. Season three will be about them finding the balance between stepping on toes and being stepped over, while also working out how the orange side fits into everything.

Thus marking the end of my rant.

I started writing this at 2 and it’s now 4. I have to be up in three hours. I have an essay due at 3pm tomorrow that I haven’t started, but instead I typed up all this bullshit. I hope any of this made any sense, and I hope this is a suitable replacement for my emotions essay that’s completely untouched because chances are this is what I’m presenting to my therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck.

[tlbodine]

I posted 907 times in 2021

240 posts created (26%)

667 posts reblogged (74%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.8 posts.

I added 339 tags in 2021

#horror - 65 posts

#writing advice - 52 posts

#microhorror - 35 posts

#horror movies - 35 posts

#writeblr - 35 posts

#trickortweet2021 - 29 posts

#before i kill - 28 posts

#i love this - 21 posts

#writing - 20 posts

#wtf history - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 75 characters

#then the entire plot of the antrum framing device would feel more plausible

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Here’s the thing

Sometimes a piece of media is empowering because it’s a wish fulfilment fantasy about a world where your pain doesn’t exist anymore, or a universe filled with potential for people like you (for whatever values of “pain” and “like you” are relevant to this discussion).

And sometimes a piece of media is empowering, or at least comforting, because it shows other people who are suffering just like you are, so your emotions are validated and you feel a little bit less lonely. 

And both of these things are incredibly important. Neither one should take away from the other. There is nothing morally or aesthetically superior about one or the other. There is and should always be space for both types of fiction to exist. 

572 notes • Posted 2021-01-30 23:20:22 GMT

#4

Do you: 

- Have a hard time figuring out your plot

- Suffer from sagging middle syndrome

- Struggle to understand how things like beat sheets apply to you

- Study a ton of writing advice posts but feel like they’re mostly bullshit

If any of these apply to you, this guide may help. 

Instead of rules and formulas and cookie-cutter story templates, this is a guide that attempts to actually analyze and understand why some story structures work, what they have in common, what advice you can throw out the window and -- most importantly -- how you can use everything you’ve learned to craft your own custom plots and get yourself unstuck. 

I’m really proud of this one, and I hope you get a lot of utility out of it. 

736 notes • Posted 2021-03-21 02:22:40 GMT

#3

Why the “Intelligent Asshole” Trope Needs to Die

I was watching a video essay about Rick & Morty earlier and it got me to thinking about all of the intelligence tropes I hate or roll my eyes at in fiction. I feel like I’ve maybe talked about some of this before but it keeps annoying me so here I am again with a poorly organized rant. 

Intelligent People Are Curious 

This is a huge one that the media always gets wrong. The “genius” character in a show is always so keen to tell everybody about why he’s right and all the rest of them are idiots. He knows that his views are correct and everyone else needs to get in line. This sort of intellectual rigidity doesn’t match with most actual smart people. 

If there’s a unifying characteristic among most really intelligent people, it’s an awareness of what they don’t know and an insatiable curiosity to learn more. 

Curiosity for its own sake -- not material gain or a desire for status -- is arguably a major benchmark of intelligence. It’s a defining characteristic. Smart people want to know how things work, and why, and what happens if the conditions change, and what factors influence those conditions. Smart people do not dogmatically cling to their own knowledge and beliefs in the face of conflict, evidence, or for the power of lording over less intelligent people -- assholes do that. 

And “intelligent asshole” is such a common trope now that it’s like the two things have to go together! Which is just...baffling. Most of the really intelligent people in the world -- folks I think we can all agree are geniuses throughout history -- are not and were not especially arrogant people. In fact, a lot of them were notably very humble. 

See the full post

909 notes • Posted 2021-06-10 02:35:55 GMT

#2

Challenging Fatphobic Language in Writing: Some Alternative Vocabularies

So I’m currently working on a short story for an explicitly fat-positive anthology, and it’s making me realize just how little language I have readily at hand for describing large bodies in positive terms! 

Putting aside for a moment the whole debate over HAES and fat positivity and everything else -- and if you clown on this post, I’m simply going to block you, that’s not what we’re here for -- sometimes you just want to write a story with a fat person in it and you need some adjectives/descriptive language that isn’t overtly gross and/or fetishistic. 

Well, I’ve got you, fam. I have compiled this handy list of descriptive terms and phrases for describing big bodies with positive connotations.

Why am I doing this? 

Because this:

And this: 

See the full post

1198 notes • Posted 2021-12-08 02:50:26 GMT

#1

Pro Tip: One Simple Trick To Making Your Characters Likeable and Relatable

Want a super easy, never-fail trick to making a character instantly 100% more interesting? 

Make them a paradox. 

 There is a reason why certain character tropes are so common: 

The scoundrel with a heart of gold 

The assassin with a moral code 

The badass “normal” in a super-powered world 

The cute and childish psychopathic killer 

The gruff warrior who’s a softie inside

But you’re not limited to well-trodden tropes, and in fact it’s even better to make your own surprising combinations (because these archetypes are now so expected that they need to be subverted to remain effective). 

When you give a character a strong central trait or motif, and then give them a strong secondary characteristic that runs directly counter to that concept, you generate internal conflict, which is automatically interesting. More than that, you make the character more relatable. 

The thing is that every single person on this earth feels like they’re special. All of us are privy every day to our own messy dynamic traits. We can put the people around us comfortably into various boxes, but we always feel like we are too complicated to really fit any single description. 

So when you give someone a character who is clearly complex in the same way? A person whose identity works at cross-purposes? Someone who doesn’t fit neatly into the box their archetype is assigned? We will find them instantly more likeable and interesting. Give it a try!

1801 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 22:14:01 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[maxwell-grant]

You are your top 5 Shadow agents

I don’t talk about the Agents as much as I should, even though I constantly try to stress their importance, because I’m working on essays for them individually. To be honest, I think about the Agents practically every day to the point I have a hard time separating my headcanons from the actual canon material, but I have to stay true to it, and the lack of material regarding them means that the only way I can truly talk about their characterization is by diving deep into the novels and taking notes, which I don’t have much time to do, and then finding the right books or moments to talk about, which is even more difficult. 

This by no means constitutes my big thinkpiece on them, but it’s a start, and ultimately narrowing it down was a lot harder than I expected. This order is by no means final, if you asked me this question next week or next month I’d probably have a different answer, but it’s the 5 that I find myself thinking on the most. 

Honorable mentions: Jericho Druke and Myra Reldon, who are incredibly awesome characters conceptually and who have great moments each, and whom I definitely think deserve big turns on the spotlight if the Agents ever get put on the spotlight again, but are held back by issues with their presentation and lack of prominence. Margo Lane, whom only just narrowly missed the cut because, as much as I like her and think she gets an underseved bad rep and definitely has great things going for her, I sadly have to concede isn’t as consistently great or well-written as she should be. Clyde Burke, whom I definitely like a lot based on what I’ve read and consider an integral part of the line-up, but haven’t read enough of the novels he’s in to really solidify him as one of my favorites just yet. And Slade Farrow, who is a bit too complicated to talk about superficially.

Allright, so here they are

Number 5: Burbank

As the center of all communications within The Shadow’s network and the only character in the series who is even more mysterious and elusive than The Shadow himself, Burbank is fascinating and the kind of character who simultaneously seems to be both begging for an in-depth exploration and yet who also should be dead last on the list of mysteries about the series we want spoiled, because nobody wants the mystery ruined. He’s a bit of cipher personality-wise compared to the other agents, but he kind of has to be, and I think it helps to illustrate the many forms the agents of The Shadow can and should take, that one of them is this total mystery whom we know nothing about and yet is so vital to the whole thing. And it’s interesting also because, for all the many variations we’ve had on The Shadow’s life and thoughts and feelings and etc over the years, Burbank has stayed more or less the same. Whatever variations he’s had in design aside, Burbank just is. 

The pulps did often have moments where we would get to see moments that told us a little more about Burbank, gestures he did, capabilities he had and didn’t have, little details Gibson would sprinkle in to keep people fascinated. Several scenes with Burbank are almost presented like you’re watching a movie, in the way Gibson keeps describing his face being mysteriously blocked from view by objects or lighting, like not even in your mind you are supposed to know what he is. And it’s all the more fascinating because, unlike The Shadow, as far as we know, Burbank is just some guy who’s good with tech, who was only recruited in the 2nd story but apparently knows The Shadow from before it, and whom The Shadow entrusted with virtually every secret necessary to keep his operations running. 

It’s kind of a sign as to how utterly neglected the agents are that, to this day, few writers who’ve ever touched The Shadow has ever come close to giving us any sort of explanation or backstory or anything on Burbank, and I refuse to believe these people had that much self-control. Of course I have my own ideas for Burbank, but even I would hesitate to put them on a story, because Burbank epitomizes that double-edged sword that comes with a solid narrative mystery. Burbank just is, and hopefully he will stay that way. 

Number 4: Dr Roy Tam

Mention of Dr. Tam meant much to Sayre. He was acquainted with Roy Tam, the Chinese physician. He knew that Tam was a power in Chinatown; one who worked for good

Unrolling a map, Tam showed the entire Manhattan area, studded with tiny dots in districts quite remote from Chinatown.

"These represent my outposts," he said soberly. "They are places, owned by Chinese - restaurants, laundries, curio shops, other places of business. In each of these places, I have a friend."

The Shadow understood. Dr. Tam was the motivating factor among the Chinese who adapted themselves to American ways. His mission was to create good will among races, to put an end to prejudice and superstition.

A newer and more sober spirit had replaced the old and dangerous festivities. Feuds in Chinatown were a thing of the forgotten past. Dr. Tam and his associates had done much to bring about the present sentiment; but there were persons - even among that group - who felt regret at the passing of old traditions.

Dr Tam is a remarkably layered character for one that only appears in about ten stories, and he’s one of the agents I’m most eager to discuss in-depth. He’s another one of those agents that Gibson introduced by tricking you into seeing him as a villain, as a Yellow Peril cliche, until he is revealed to be in fact a good man. Not just good, Roy Tam is presented as a powerful, influential and cunning Chinese man with a lot of assistants secretly working for him, and who is consistently presented as a progressive, pacifistic, benevolent civic leader and ally, even friend, of The Shadow. 

Tam is very much westernized and the stories paint that mostly as a good thing, and this is one of the areas that I think could very much result in an interesting story that looks at the ramifications of his role, because of course not everyone is going to agree with his viewpoints, of course him being an advocate against superstition and tradition isn’t necessarily a good thing (and it’s not how Yat Soon, The Shadow’s other major Chinese ally, works, which puts the two at odds), and of course it’s a complicated situation, but the fact that Tam invites this kind of debate at all I think is something very interesting

Largely because of the movie, Dr Tam is one of the few agents of The Shadow who’s managed to sustain appearences in modern stories, and none of them have ever really went with his original angle as a powerful civic leader. Instead he’s been largely painted as either a scientist, like in the movie, a general practitioner, and a psychiatrist, and his age has been all over the board. 

I prefer him in his original form but I also very much like the idea of Roy Tam being, like the Chinese supervillains he was created to be a subversion of, an incredible genius who’s got skills in all fields that can fit under the “Dr” part of his job and is also an incredibly capable leader able to unify splintered communities under a cause of unity and cooperation, someone who absolutely could be the adventuring genius so many other pulp heroes are, except he dedicates himself wholesale to his community and the fight against prejudice and the betterment of lives, even if he’s misguided or wrong at some of the causes he takes up. I really think this character could partake in really great stories if ever brought back.

Number 3: Cliff Marsland

(Fan-art by @cryptixcreations)

Cliff may have actually been the first agent I really fell in love with based on concept alone, even before I read the stories he was a part of and started loving all of the others. He’s one of the few agents who has prior history with The Shadow and we get ever so tantalizing hints at his background that we ultimately never get to learn about in full. He’s the resident tough guy and underworld contact of The Shadow, which in any other series might have made him the biggest badass and a loner action hero who’s too cool for things like thinking and relying on others for help. But here, trying to be that only gets Cliff into trouble, and circumstances gradually morph him into the series equivalent of a Team Dad. 

He was one of the agents who we got to see develop as a character. As he appears more frequently past his introduction, he grows from a headstrong, careless jackass, mostly interested in the action parts of the job, who “resigned himself to an adventurous career with violent death as its inevitable termination”, into one of the most reliable and capable agents, taking the lead during action scenes but otherwise fully defering leadership to Harry, and being the agent most likely to partake in gunfights and rescue The Shadow out of trouble, joining in missions like infiltrating circuses or high-society clubs and forming very strong friendships with Harry, Clyde & Hawkeye, who almost kills a man with his bare hands when he thinks Harry’s been killed. He’s the hardass, square-jawed ex-con who plays the reputation of a brutal killer, and is in reality a great friend, ally and husband (Arline has sadly only been mentioned in three stories), on top of being an invaluable fighter and secret agent.

Cliff could have easily been the protagonist of a long-running series all his own and that’s one of my favorite aspects of The Shadow’s agents. They are people with agency, goals and dreams and relationships and lives beyond the roles they play, they all have strengths and weaknesses and faults and positives that bring them much closer to us than The Shadow could ever be, with no end to the variety of roles they can take, and Cliff in particular is a character I’m very attached to. 

I do hope that he eventually found peace in a quiet life with Arline once his business with The Shadow was over.

Number 2: Harry Vincent

The Shadow as a franchise has been vastly worse off as a result of Harry Vincent being completely sidelined and mischaracterized in virtually every adaptation since, and the sheer love that Shadow fans hold for Harry purely may be the closest thing to a true universal opinion in the fandom. 

Harry is a lot of things: the audience surrogate, the protagonist of much of the early stories, the leader of the agents in field duty, the dude in distress who gets kidnapped far more than even Margo, a hopeless romantic, an action hero, the one who gets sent to recruit agents because all The Shadow has to do is send Harry on an assignment and wait for him to come back with a new friend. He is a competent, resourceful, strong, extremely kind ball of sunshine who's got the potential for greatness, even if he can't see it. 

And for this post I’m going to highlight this: Harry is, on top of all that, the ultimate embodiment of what The Shadow strives to protect, help and uplift. He is the living proof that The Shadow's mission has a good, positive effect in the world, long after criminals are brought to justice and plots are failed and victims are rescued, purely by the fact that he’s alive and helping others who were once like him. Someone who, despite having so much to offer, could have easily been swept away by the world’s callousness and cruelty, if The Shadow wasn’t there to rescue him and uplift him.

I liked The Shadow pretty much at first sight after seeing the character’s design and listening to episodes of the radio show, and my appreciation for the character grew after reading The Shadow’s Shadow, but it wasn’t until I encountered @oldschoolcrimefighters and her brilliantly informative writings on The Shadow and Harry that I not only fell in love with the series, but decided to do everything in my power to try and get other people to love it too and see the potential it has. I think a lot more people should at least be aware of why Harry matters. 

Number 1: Moe Shrevnitz

I was honestly a bit surprised when I rounded up all of the agents to make this list and Shrevy here ended up in Number One, but in hindsight, it may have been obvious all along. 

My reasonings as to why Shrevy is my favorite agent do get a bit too personal, especially because of something that happened to me as I was writing this post, so I’m putting it on a separate post here. 

[satsuki2406]

OPEN SKY Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

“…And never, ever forget that, your dreams are the wings that’ll help you fly.”

(L/N)(Y/N) has always been forced to live according to others’ expectations. As a member of the powerful and influential (L/N) Family, she has had to live with the heavy weight of seeing others write her destiny with no choice but just obey. But when (Y/N) finally decides to risk it all to take the only opportunity to regain the control of her own life, everything ends up going horribly wrong. Surrendered and disappointed, she receives one last chance to prove to herself and to U.A, along with some unexpected help that this was not a crazy and meaningless waste of time.

Maybe this plan could work after all…

PAIRING: (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

GENRE/WARNINGS: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of sex (nothing explicit tho), dark themes, My poor attempt of comedy, family dysfunctionality, toxic relationships, Strong language (Courtesy of King Lord Explosion Murder 💥), Manga Spoilers.

STATUS: On going

Masterlist \(￣︶￣*\))

6- Have We Got a Deal?

✒A/N:

I rewrote this chapter like three times, and hopefully, now it turned out better. I read my progress again a couple of weeks ago and it was simply, not right. I hated it so much that I decided to delete it and work again on it. The essence is the same of what I planned for this chapter and although it is a bit longer now, I took the chance to get into more detail about certain things and express better about others. The conversation between Reader-chan and Kaguya may have become a bit deeper than it used to be, but I really liked the outcome and gave me more ideas for the future plot. That's all for now.

Hope you enjoy it! q(≧▽≦q)

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So, my dear sweet cousin, do you accept or not?

“W-Wait a minute! You can’t be serious, do you- do you understand the implications of what you’re saying?!” You said incredulously.

“Of course I do, why do you think we are here?” Kaguya said while she took another canape and bit it. She chewed slowly while you watched her attentively, the dread in your stomach growing by increments, exasperated for her to continue. She finally swallowed and took a sip of wine.

“So? Would you care to explain what on earth is actually happening, because you don’t expect me to believe that the cause of such an unprecedented change is because of some internet gossip” You said in a demanding tone.

“Of course it’s not, but if you are patient enough I’ll explain it to you with pleasure, so you better watch your tone with me, brat.” She hissed.

You puffed out your cheeks but nodded in cue for her to continue.

“Approximately three days ago grandmother convened a last-minute meeting in her abode to discuss this problem. At first, I thought she was overreacting about this whole ordeal, after all big corporates and companies are attacked and critized all the time, but after a long, long discussion, we all agreed that the situation should not be taken lightly and it needed to be addressed as soon as possible.”

“That bad it is?” You asked slightly concerned.

“Unfortunately,” Kaguya answered. “Walls covered in graffiti in Kyoto, people protesting and messing with the employees at the ER main entrance in Hosu, broken windows in Deika and thousands and thousands of emails and nasty messages in all our social media accounts. We had to hire the services of a whole publicity agency so they could deal with the problem, hardly. It has been difficult to contain, but it paid off because it hasn’t been leaked into any important newscast. Internet, the origin of the problem, has been another story, unfortunately, in these cases, it can be very difficult and unforgiving to work with; once something enters, is nearly impossible to pull it out and if you succeed there’s always a risk it would pop up anywhere when you least expect it.” Kaguya said while she rubbed her temples.

“Internet is a huge source of news and information for thousands of people nowadays, even millions, fake or not, and also the main responsible that this situation slipped out of control faster.”

You contemplated your next words as you soaked in all the information you just were provided with, so you could express your ideas and queries as clear as possible. “Okay…but why is everybody so angry about our current family situation? I get it’s messed up, but why go as far as vandalize privite property and nag about it on social media?” You asked slightly hesitant.

“As an institution, we had always presented and preserved ourselves as a family, working to, and for the Japanese families generation after generation, no matter where we went, we always went together, always radiating the image of a happy, healthy, and unified family. Throughout the time several members of our family had made multiple presentations in public inspiring kindness and charisma, earning the trust and love of the people, which is impressive considering the heavily hero centered world we live in. Now that there are strong rumors putting all of these apparent facts into question, some people feel mocked, disappointed, and cheated… besides other things.” Kaguya mumbled.

“Sorry I could not listen the last part Kaguya.” You said puzzled.

“Don’t worry, I was just talking to myself, the important thing is that the problem is been solved, millions will be invested but is necessary. We have already started a huge ad campaign, a lot of important heroes will be involved so we can reassure and remind people why we have been their number one choice during over a century, that we still the same and will always remain the same, that we do not change, we improve.”

“I see, but you haven’t explained what does this have to do with me going to U.A-”

“As I told you she decided to make exceptions, due to the unusual situation we are going through right now we need unusual solutions as well and as part of our ad campaign and for the sake of our image she decided that two fortunate souls would have the chance to pursue a carrier of their choice, you know to placate the masses.”

“ Of course, a different series of factors would be taken into account when examining the option chosen and its potential benefits for the interests of the company, if these results are not satisfactory, the other alternatives will be analyzed to find a more suitable one and the aforementioned process will be repeated. Once we find satisfactory results, grandmother will proceed to revise everything once more and give her approval or deny it.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that we are doing the same thing but with more options? And they are going to evaluate if we can actually perform well in these new career options?” You asked unimpressed at your grandmas’ unwillingness to let the leash lose a bit even in a situation like this.

“Exactly right, it’s a change but there are still rules nonetheless.” Kaguya affirmed as she refilled her cup again. “Don’t get me wrong, she is really mad, just the thought of sacrifice two pawns in one single move is driving her crazy”

“Which selection system will be used in this case?” You asked.

“Nominations. As you already know there are two potential candidates, besides you of course.”

“Two? But there’s other three-”

“Aya has already been selected by grandmother herself, he’ll be enrolled into U.A next year via recommendation, everything is ready and processed the only thing left is to break the news on him.”

You grimaced, anxious, and preoccupied to see your already thin chances narrow even more. Your cousin, Aya was a famous vlogger and influencer with a strongly settled fanbase in and out of Japan. His videos generally focus on his daily life, trips to cool and exotic destinations, and the typical ‘eat this’, ‘do that’ challenges that always went around the internet.

He also participated in different campaigns to raise funds for different charitable causes and was a fervent advocator of animal rights and the environment, even donating millions from his own pocket. He always did his best to involve the name of the (L/N) Group, allowing them to organize, participate and sponsor some of these events helping bust their image as a caritative, conscious, and woke organization.

The bastard overflew with kindness and charisma and knew how to surround himself with the right people to manage his channel properly, although no relatable for the regular mid-class YouTube user, you had to admit that his videos were fun, entertaining, interesting, and sometimes, informative, that was the reason they were always flooded with millions of views, comments, likes and overall the crushing success he was experiencing every time he uploaded a new one.

He’s rich, famous, handsome, and had an appealing personality, add hero to that list and you’ll get the recipe to success. It wouldn't surprise you at all if he reached the top 10 of the HBC in a year just out of sheer popularity. His quirk is also fitted for a hero, he’ll need some serious training, but nothing that money and elite PT could not manage.

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” You whispered with your head down watching how your knuckles turned whiter as your hands crinkled your uniform skirt.

“Don’t trouble yourself with what you’re not supposed to, Aya is not competition, not anymore, instead try to focus on the actual competition, and may I add that you got a really big chance with my brother out of the picture. Kaguya smirked at you confidently.

“You think so?” You asked doubtfully.

“Believe me (Y/N), my sister is really smart and competent, but has the charm and social skills of a cardboard box, and Himeko, well… we could resume all her virtues, abilities and skills to shopping, makeup, gossip, selfies, social media, being pretty and an absolute headache. Grandmother got big plans for her after she graduates though, so I’ll take her out of the picture as well.”

“Big plans?” You said arching your eyebrow.

“Let’s say that, right now, we have a great, juicy, and very convenient deal that is in negociation right now and she is a vital piece to close it successfully. Don’t worry, your curiosity will be satiated soon enough.”

“What worries me is that I think I got a grasp of what you’re talking about.”

“Aw. Come on, businesses are businesses (Y/N), C’est la vie.” She said as she shrugged uninterested.

“Yeah, because is not you.” You grumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, why don’t you continue.”

“You are right, where we were? Oh, right.”

‘Was she really just dismissing the topic like that?!’

“Tell me (Y/N), do you think that I would have brought you here and propose this plan to you if I didn’t have an ace up my sleeve? Please. There are some important and positive points that can grant us success if we exploit them properly, but we must play our cards wisely, unfortunately, that’ll have to wait until we are completely alone.” Confused your arched your eyebrow, until your ears were met with the sound of the wheels of a certain golden cart rapidly approaching.

“Hello again ladies, let me take this off,” Hiro said while he took the almost empty canape plate along the rest of the dishes. “Is there anything else you would like? Would you like another beverage (L/N)-sama?” Hiro said looking at your semi voided glass.

“Y-Yes please”

“Alright!” With the swift and skill of years of experience, Hiro served your plates, removed the shiny silver food covers, refilled both water cups and Kaguya’s wine cup as well in less than a minute. “Please enjoy, if there’s anything else you would like I’ll be happy to assist you! I’ll be back in a minute with your drink miss.”

You spent the next couple of minutes in total silence waiting for your drink in order to continue your conversation privately and interruption-free. Just as said, Hiro returned instants later with the promised drink and finally left you two to converse calmly.

“Well, now that the coast is clear, let me fill you up with what you have to know and do in order to obtain a favorable outcome for both of us.” Kaguya began as she sliced a bite of quail breast.

“So, this is my plan…”

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.

Now with your dinner night already finished, you were now heading to your house. This ride was as quiet as the one to the restaurant, but without the suffocating weight of uncertainty. Your head was filled now with the echoes of your conversation with Kaguya, debating, analyzing, considering, comprehending every single word of it.

“You seem troubled, you are doubtful, aren’t you?” Said Kaguya interrupting your thoughts.

“I’m more scared than anything if this doesn’t work-”

“It will, you already know what to do, just focus on that. I’ll keep in contact with you anyway, in case of emergencies or any last-minute matter.” She then proceeded to rummage in her purse and took out a brand-new phone, it was one of those not so high-quality flip phones that you can get for a really low price, probably a disposable one.

“I already put my phone number in it, so we can communicate without issue. This phone is a really basic one, so it has no internet access but you have unlimited calls and texts. Just make sure to keep it hidden from your mother or that blabbermouth maid of yours.”

“Yes, I’ll find a place.”

“Perfect, remember, the announce dinner will be this Saturday, surely your mom would tell you, everybody will be there, they must at least.”

Another twenty minutes passed before you were at the main door of your lavish home. Silently, you excited the car after Soichiro opened the door for you and you headed to the front door.

“We’ll keep in contact, until then, (Y/N).” Kaguya said softly, once she finished Soichiro shut the door, bowed his head, and wished you a good evening. He straightened up his posture and proceeded to hop in the car again. Quietly you observed the car get farther and farther until it disappeared. You stayed there in silence, while the nightly wind swayed your hair delicately. The sound of the door opening distracted you, then, you turned around to be met with the gentle smile of Nobu-san.

“Okaerinasai, (Y/N)-sama, how was your dinner with Kaguya-sama?”

“Pretty…unexpected.” You looked everywhere, making sure that nobody else was listening to your conversation. “I’ll fill you out on the details later” You whispered and Nobu-san nodded knowingly. “I see, your bath is ready (Y/N)-sama. Please take your time and relax, it’s been a long night after all,” He got slightly closer to you and cupped his hand around his mouth, and whispered. “I’m pretty sure you’ll make good use of this time to ponder any thought that is troubling your mind.” He distanced from you, crossed his arms behind his back, and gave you a gentle closed-eye smile. “Would you like a cup of tea after your bath?”

You smiled at him fondly.

“(F/T/F), please.”

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You’ve been lying if you said that you could actually sleep the night before. Your head could not stop to reproduce in a loop your conversation with Kaguya the night before, like a broken record you couldn’t escape from. Before you noticed, the outrageous melody of your alarm resounded in the spaciousness of your room. You groaned in protest, unwillingly getting up to start your day.

Dressed and ready, you took your bag and went downstairs to have breakfast. Before you could finish hopping down the stairs you caught a glimpse of your mother sitting at the head chair, like always with your father by her side, she was holding her morning coffee while she read some emails on her laptop.

As always she looked stunning in her soft pink and golden outfit, she crossed her legs, put down her cup and started typing in her laptop.

You straighten your posture the best you could and approached the table with delicate steps. “Good morning mother, good morning dad”

“Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” Said your mother without taking her eyes off the screen in a somewhat flat tone as her fingers tapped nimbly over the keyboard. “Pretty well, and yourself?” You said while you took a seat at the innecesarily expansive dinning table.

“Not so well sadly, there’s been some… issues I had to take care of.” She hissed a bit irritated as she rubbed her temples.

“I-I see, hopefully, you’ll have a better day today, mother.”

“I doubt it, unluckily, but thank you for your words, darling. Now hurry up or you’ll be late.”

“Yes, mother.”

“You should have some fresh fruit honey; the mangos are delicious!” Said the cheerful voice of your father. You smiled fondly at him while he reciprocated with a smile of his own. “I’ll do then, thank you for your suggestion dad.” You answered while one of the maids served you a portion of fresh mixed fruit in a bowl and Nobu-san poured tea in your cup.

“(Y/N)” Spoke your mom.

“Yes, mother?”

“Your grandmother had organized a family dinner this Saturday that we must assist, of course, I expect nothing less of you than be on your best behavior, also is imperative that you choose your outfit today so I can determine if it’s appropriate for the occasion. If you need to go shopping just tell Sasaki, I activated your debit card again just this time.” She said authoritatively.

“Yes mother, I’ll do it today after class.” You said as you topped your fruit with some honey, yougurt and granola. 

“Splendid, now if you excuse me, I have to go now, Haru, hurry up or we’ll be late”

“Yes, cara mia” Your father beamed. Your mother then rose from her chair took her handbag and draped her coat over her shoulders. Your father then finished his coffee as soon as he could and went behind her. “Have a good day princess!” Exclaimed you dad. “Thank you, you too!” You answered while you saw them get escorted by an army of bodyguards.

Soon enough the door was closed and you were left alone. “(Y/N)-sama I advise you to hurry as well, school starts in thirty minutes” Said the familiar voice of Nobu-san. “What!? Oh, I’m going to be late! Ok, I got this! I’ll brush my teeth and I’ll be ready-please ask Sasaki-san to start the car! I will be there in a minute!” You stuttered while climbing up stairs.

“Sure thing, Ojou-sama,” He said with an amused smile.

.

.

“Thank you again for joining me for shopping Momo”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all, I’ll also take the chance to buy some new accessories as well,” Beamed your ravenette friend. It was the end of the school day and you had asked Momo to help you choose new accessories to complement a dress you already had.

“But to be honest I never imagine that your mom would lose her grip on you so soon even if it’s temporary, what surprised me more was what Kaguya-san told you yesterday,” She whispered trying to no let your conversation be known by Sasaki-san although the automated partition window was up as a precautionary measure. “Are you sure you can trust her?” She said concerned.

“I still don’t know, suddenly everything became so complicated, I mean her plan is good and has a high probability to work, and right now I don’t have a better option, I don’t even have any options, to begin with!” You groaned, confused.

“What’s still bugging me is why is she helping you in the first place? I can’t help but find it suspicious no matter how much I think about it. Did you ask her something about it?”

“I did, but she went into this mysterious and enigmatic mode and just said something like ‘You’ll know soon enough’ It would be easier to pinch a glass than get something out of her.” You said with a tone of frustration.

“I guess that the only thing we can do now is to wait and see,” Sighed Momo while she shrugged her shoulders. “By the way, what are we going to do first?” She said more animatedly.

“Let’s start with the shoes and then maybe a new jewelry set, a new clutch as well would be good. What you think?”

“I think is a splendid idea!” Momo exclaimed.

.

.

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🏷Taglist:

@bakasbitch18 

[jazzforthecaptain]

Hi! I'm here to bother you with more Harkstiel :)

I was wondering how you think Cas being an angel would impact the way Jack views him, especially toward the beginning when they first meet each other? After all the years of gruesome alien invasions, man-made/natural disasters, and loss Jack has experienced in his long lifetime, do you think he'd hold it against Cas and angels in general for not being there to save people? If so, what would be the turning point that makes Cas and Jack view each other with respect instead of holding their pasts against each other?

I can't say I've seen much of Jack's character outside of just Doctor Who, but he's never struck me as the religious type (at least, not in the christian sense), so maybe he wouldn't expect angels to be kind and merciful cherubs as much as others would.

Thank you so much for answering my earlier ask, by the way! I loved everything you wrote for it, and I never even stopped to think about live music in that way, but the way you said it was so in character for Cas and Jack <3

Hi again, you wonderful person, you! I needed time to think about this one, plus I needed a keyboard, because I wasn't going to tackle this answer with just my thumbs.

The issue with Jack Harkness is that while I think some things are consistent about him, quite a lot can't be pinned down. How Jack perceives Castiel and how he'd react to the reality of him would depend an awful lot on the context through which they're introduced, and where Jack's headspace is at the time. That's also part of the glory of writing these two: a coffeeshop meetcute is honestly just as likely as Jack obsessively hunting Castiel down is just as likely as Castiel obsessively hunting Jack down is just as likely as meeting on the same side of a fight for the universe and snarking their way into an eternal friendship. They've never met in canon, and that means they can meet a million different ways, and those first impressions will transform their relationship into something wholly different every time.

So, for this, I'll stick to the context you provided, of Jack meeting Castiel after years of grief and loss on Earth. I've written Jack interacting with Castiel for the first time in similar circumstances - when I wrote them meeting in Grace, Jack wasn't too far into his offworld sojourn, post-Children of Earth.

I agree with you that Jack's not inclined to be terribly religious. I'd go so far as to say he's not, at all. Jack's been cursed with the terrible, unwanted job of watching humanity go through its patterns of behavior over and over again, and humanity's search for Something More Than This is one of its oldest. Also, he's already aware of at least one species that the universe applies the 'angel' designation to. I expect that his reaction, when and if Castiel gets around to honesty about his origins, would be cynicism. I don't think Castiel will ever, ever convince Jack that he's an angel in the sense that Castiel means it. To Jack, Castiel's just another extraterrestrial. Another person from a species he's never met before. He's met people who could do incredible things and people who hold cataclysmic power, and they were all just... people.

With that in mind, I think Jack might air some frustration with the angels over their inactivity against the 4-5-6, and I think he'd have some questions about why Heaven - if it has all this power - doesn't intercede in things like plagues and wars. But to be honest, Jack's been the cause of some of those things, and sometimes a participant. He's had his turn as soldier, jailer, war profiteer, interrogator and spy. Out of anyone, I think he's the least inclined to be self-righteous or judgmental. He didn't yell at the Doctor about ditching them during Children of Earth and Miracle Day, even when he had the chance. I think his mentality is mostly 'do what you can, when you can, but shit things happen all the time no matter what and it's probably my fault somehow anyway.'

I actually think that if he has a real problem with Castiel and they're on good terms, it's going to be about his vessel. Jack's going to be all over that. Who is that, is this consensual, what does he think about what you're doing, how is this affecting him longterm, CAN I TALK TO HIM, etc. And his impression of Castiel will be informed by the answers - and the answers will be informed by whatever point in Castiel's timeline that they meet. I tend to have them meet after Jimmy's already been freed from sharing his body with Castiel, but their relationship would take a very different trajectory otherwise (also due to where Castiel's mindset was when Jimmy was still alive vs where it is after he perished).

In response to your question about when the turning point would be from wariness to respect, I think Castiel and Jack's difficult pasts would be a unifying factor, rather than something they'd need to overcome. I'll air a little bit of my saltiness here: I ship these two more than anything else I ship, and it's because Jack is the first person outside of Castiel's own kind who sees him as a person - not a monster, not a tool, not a weapon. When I first started writing them, I didn't know what a dramatic difference that would make. But oh, how it does. Castiel, approached with Jack's calm, neutral curiosity, becomes a very different Castiel. He unfurls. He trusts. He tells stories. And he has a lot in common with Jack, especially about that whole 'I was doing fine until this passionate moron came along and made me question everything I was doing,' thing. Jack loves to talk, more than pretty much anything else. I think they'd start unlocking the Tragic Backstories fairly quickly, although the process of completing that unlocking will take... a very long time.

And, I think they'd get each other. They'd fight - honestly that's part of why I love them - but not about who was a Bad Person for Doing X Thing. They both have committed atrocities, and neither one of them justifies any of it. I think they see themselves and their past motivations with a clarity that most people don't have, because they've had the time to realize what useless, dangerous bullshit self-deception really is. More than that, I think the thing that would weld them together is their commitment to helping people. They're stuck in this life, destined to live a very long time beyond this ephemeral present. They have to live those lives with the memories of all the horrible things they've done, and no way to find forgiveness for them. I think Jack would show Castiel that the only way is forward, and that giving up would be a waste of every person's sacrifice that brought him here. And I think Castiel would be able to give Jack the gift of understanding; of being seen, fully, by someone who's dealing with similar experiences. The one person who can hear Castiel confess to killing a sibling he loves with all of his being... is Jack.

If there's a turning point, it comes when they do the thing that makes me love them most: ask each other questions.

[urmomsstuntdouble]

i hope this helps you in your ranting/rambling mood! im curious about what hetalia canon you’d change, if any, and why. alternatively, what canon do you wish the fandom would pay more attention to?

1thanks for the ask! sorry this is so late btw, i sort of had to be Out and About today, but i do have many thoughts. i hope this is to your liking :)

 so the first thing that comes to mind is how infuriating the canon ages are. i dont think hima put very much thought into how ages work, or maybe he tweaked it to fit a specific character without considering the internal logic of the series at large. what he did was make it so that every character is about the same age during the modern day, and painted himself into a corner where ages need to be traced backwards from the present day, if that makes sense. like he wants everyone to be in their teens or 20s but not all countries are the same “age” if you can say that..idk, like how china and america could be confused for being the same age when china is like 25 times older than him. and this sort of results in some anachronisms (which, anachronisms and misinformation are inevitable when you try to personify countries because you’re just one person writing your interpretation of history and you have biases and whatnot, which is why its important for fans to DO YOUR RESEARCH) or just weird inconsistent stuff like america being the same age during the revolution as he is in the present day and also the entirity of chibitalia.

chibitalia makes absolutely no sense beyond a narrative perspective, and the narrative didnt even need children for it to be good. im also especially annoyed by chibitalia because it serves as proof that himaruya doesnt care about the internal logic of age in hetalia. factors such as “strength-” which i assume to mean military power- the economy, political stability, and cultural identity are what seem to be the driving forces behind the nations’ ages. so let’s take a look at chibitalia through those lenses. if we’re talking military power in the time frame of chibitalia, which im taking to be the early modern period (1500-1800), but it really could be When Fucking Ever during the hapsburg rule of northern italy. the papal states managed to organize and carry out several crusades to recapture jerusalem, and despite none of them being successful and also occasionally resulting in wars against the turks, it does take a lot to consistently organize and carry out that sort of military action without having what we today would consider a politically unified country. this is sort of acknowledged in canon, although its more of an offhanded mention thats brought up once and then never mentioned again, when turkey says that italy kicked his ass one time a couple hundred years ago. concerning the economy, italy’s economy during the early modern period was off the shits, actually. the whole. renaissance thing? although john green raises an interesting point of Did The Renaissance Actually Happen, its a convenient name for the time period, so we’re going with it. and especially where venice is concerned, seeing as venice was one of the wealthiest city states in the entire country, and i believe veneto still is. and then there’s political stability- this is an interesting one because it can be interpreted in different ways both in and out of the hetalia canon. for example, former soviet states are depicted as being younger, despite many of them being very old countries, and america and canada are depicted as babies during the colonial period- even though the colonies basically governed themselves with little oversight from the british crown. this also applies to moldova, who is referenced as being a fierce warrior by hungary when she’s a kid- about 1000 years ago- and is still depicted as being a 12 year old in the modern day. i think where chibitalia is concerned, hima used the control of northern italy by the hapsburg dynasty and the holy roman empire to mean that there was a lack of political strength for the northern italian city states, but! the final say in all matters belonged to the church. it had been like that for hundreds of years, and the church was very much not a design of the hre or the hapsburg dynasty. the church was kind of in greater control over the hre and the hapsburgs than the actual monarchs (until 1648) at some points, which i think would make italy a bit more politically strong than austria or hre. not that he’d be a whole adult or anything, more that they’d all be around the same age physically- or even that austria would be younger! and of course the italian cultural identity was long since formed. because of all that i dont think it makes any goddamn sense for italy to be a child- and of course this also applies to romano, who’s mostly representing naples and sicily. some things are different of course due to the north/south split, but most of this does apply to both. 

anyway, i also think that america’s age makes no sense. i love america as a teenager, i really do. teenagers scare the living shit out of me and america is teenagers. but the way that he ages is totally historically inaccurate. so he’s a child during the 7 years war? cool. why does he age like a regular human during the interwar period leading up to the revolutionary war? yes america was politically stable yes the south was filthy fucking rich off slave labor, but where’s the american cultural identity? nonexistent. the military might? there is no american military in 1750. so yes america should be a little older than a child, but he shouldn’t be the same adult he is in 1780 that he is in ww2 and in the modern day strips. i think this was done because it might be a lil fucked to have grown ass england be fighting a tween in the revolutionary war strips, although i say lean into that fucked-ness. of course thats just me, although i do think it might be more narratively impactful if arthur was an adult and alfred was a child during the revolutionary war strips, and more accurate. i think 11-14 is a good age, because at the time of the revolution, the states were more like their own countries, and no one particularly had an allegiance to america, they just had an allegiance against britain. people didnt really consider themselves americans over their state until after the war of 1812 (which ended in 1815), so him being middle-school aged at that point in time would really be interesting. kind of like an identity crisis, ya know? because it was, in all honesty, an identity crisis- who were the people of these united states (these united states is the og name)? n e whay, yeah. age is stupid and theres more characters i could talk about but id be here all night and i am tired! 

as for something i wish got more attention by fans, i think just all the weird shit. like they truly are Weird People, absolutely no sex appeal. anyway. im gonna go to sleep now, hope that was a cool answer! 

[roc-thoughtblog]

Sense and Sensibility Readthrough Part 9

Chapter 12, Pages 49-54

Previously, Sir Middleton has started the Party Timez and Marianne is flirting it up with mysterious Mr. Charming. Meanwhile, Elinor has a sweet moment with Colonel Brandon where he alludes to a past love-related something, because they are both two lonely people watching a party.

I enjoyed this chapter, because Margaret finally opened her mouth and only gold came out. :D You little scamp, you have vindicated my small obsession with seeing you relevant in any form!

Readthrough below.

Chapter 12

AS ELINOR and Marianne were were walking together the next morning the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister which in spite of all that she knew before of Marianne's imprudence and want of thought, surprised her

Oh? OH? Marianne going to have many thoughts, head full of prudence?

by its extravagant testimony to both.

NOPE! Also, Austenism on first sentence of chapter, nice opening. I most creatively coined that for personal use and now I finally get to use it! Setup into unceremonious, and yet very extra, subversion that turns potential positives upside down. Anyway, Willoughby has given Marianne a horse, which she has accepted with zero thought into the Dashwoods' ability to keep it.

Elinor, has, of course, thought of all the things the family is lacking with regards to horse-keeping, including most prominently, a complete lack of a stable in which to house it. Was boutta ask, good Elinor answered my enquiry most quickly.

I have a friend who is a self-professed horse-girl, and many mutual friends who attest to not desiring to ride with her on account of it being quite dangerous. This isn't directly related to anything, Marianne just invited Elinor to ride her horse and I was suddenly struck by a memory of warring opinions on the risks of horseriding. Horse-girl's testimony to its relative safety was not aided by her own anecdote of having fallen off a horse onto her back once, and not being able to feel her neck for a while, or something similar to that effect (don't worry, she is fine). I imagine Elinor would be horrified.

Marianne brushes off all of Elinor's concerns in... most short-sighted fashion. No Marianne, do not keep a horse in any old shed. This reminds me of when my aunt kept her kittens in the bathroom. Bad. Awful. Don't consider keeping animals if you can't be bothered to house them properly. :(

Of course, Marianne draws the line when Elinor claims she doesn't know Willoughby well enough to receive a horse from the man;

"You are mistaken, Elinor," said she warmly, "in supposing I know very little of Willoughby. I have not known him long indeed, but I am much better acquainted with him, than I am with any other creature in the world, except yourself and mamma. [...] I should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother, than from Willoughby. Of John I know very little, though we have lived together for years; but of Willoughby my judgement has long been formed."

Marianne has a great talent for speaking warmly. :'D

Ouch girl you have been hit hard. The infatuation, it speaks through you with a megaphone.

It's really fascinating how big an effect love and infatuation seems to have on apparent closeness. Like at some point it really does cross over the line to being genuinely close, but I feel like I observe a lot of the time, before that point, that people tend to... trick themselves into thinking they are close? Infatuation has a remarkable ability to warp the sense of emotional proximity between people, maybe even just through the firing of emotions on all cylinders.

One memorable conversation I will always return to was when a friend of mine referred to their boyfriend of a few months as their "best friend" in the most casual, natural way. A few months didn't seem like a long enough time, and when I asked them, they did suddenly realise they weren't quite there yet... I find it very interesting how love can so easily dominate social lives.

Anyway, Marianne has jumped to Big Conclusion about how well she knows Willoughby. It's a good thing he's probably a nice guy really, but this is also likely one of the ways predatory relationships can take root so uh, look after your friends I guess. Sometimes when this kinda emotion takes hold they need a second opinion to keep them grounded.

Elinor thought it wisest to touch that point no more. She knew her sister's temper. Opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion.

Yeah, Elinor has the right idea. Backfire effect is real, and it's not something you want to mess with when you really need to convince somebody of something. You definitely need to go around with a different approach... which Elinor does, nice! By appealing to Marianne's concern of potentially greatly burdening her mother, who would of course consent enthusiastically to a horse, but also be the most inconvenienced by its maintenance.

Marianne relents most sadly. :(

She tells Willoughby next she sees him that she can't take the horse, because of reasons. Willoughby is disappointed, but tells her that the horse is still hers, once the time arrives that she can keep- he named the horse Queen Mab? Horses. Always with funky names. Is that a historical figure? FAIRY FROM ROMEO AND JULIET! Please Mr. Willoughby! You are every bit the drama queen as Marianne. You are not so star crossed!

O-oh. Elinor overhears everything, and also realises now that they are in fact a couple? By the way Willoughby pronounces Marianne's first name, and the fact that he uses it at all. Oh, that she is now absolutely certain of it, and in no way surprised. Yeah that makes sense.

GASP! MARGARET SPEAKS!

Alright this whole sequence is gold, I dunno how to relate it here but it's a quick and fun read. Reading being generally fun, but quick doesn't usually come naturally to me. Also means I don't take notes.

Margaret thinks the two lovebirds will be married soon and Elinor is hilariously shutting her down for crying wolf about pictures that turned out to be of great-uncles. But this time Margaret has witnessed Willoughby beg for, and acquire, a lock of Marianne's hair, for romantically sentimental reasons I personally do not understand but have witnessed enough to accept without question. Because, y'know, children don't count as witnesses to secret emotional dalliances you don't the adults to see. And the account is specific and detailed enough that it doesn't seem like something a kid would just make up.

And then we go on a hilarious tangent about how Margaret accidentally spilled all the beans on Elinor's love life to Mrs. Jennings for not knowing any better how to respond to questions. :'D The poor girl asks Elinor for permission to say, so now Mrs. Jennings knows somebody exists. And then Marianne drags herself into it to defend Elinor's feelings, but Margaret innocently reminds her that all the speculation was her’s to begin with.

"Margaret," said Marianne with great warmth,

GREAT WARMTH! This is greatest warmth of Marianne yet, I have never seen her so upset, I'm rolling. Poor Margaret is a little out of her depth with all the adults bugging her for gossip, and the more the sisters try to contain her the more slips out. You can't expect so much from a kid. :'D

Thankfully Lady Middleton saves all the Dashwood sisters by abruptly and deliberately changing the topic to the weather, followed by sensitive Colonel Brandon. Nice save, guys! Willoughby, good man, invites Marianne to start playing piano too. Elinor is saved, but still thoroughly shook haha. Poor girl is not of a heart that can deal with this assault.

Chapter concludes with a quick two paragraphs which I guess will set up the next chapter; they organise a party to go party at an estate belonging to Colonel Brandon's brother-in-law, because, Sir Middleton has partied in that place all too much and yet never enough. Party. Sir Middleton: Party man, does whatever a party can. What exactly do landed lords actually do again?

All this arranged with open carriages and sailing, and I assume cold provisions to imply a picnic; "rather a bold undertaking, considering the time of year, and that it had rained every day for the last fortnight -" HA. Well, despite his extensive partying experience, we are given to understand that Sir M. is still a slow learner. Oh well.

... I just realised I found Margaret to be so entertaining I didn't realise the story had like... used her as a connecting factor to completely transition the theme, setting and topic of the chapter halfway through. I feel like this is important to note, as for the most part chapters in this story seem to stick to exploring one specific topic or person. This particular chapter was somewhat all-over-the-place topic-wise (Marillouby confirmed, Elinor's beau’s existence revealed) and the only unifying factor was Margaret shenanigans, which I love, but she isn't relevant to the central plot in the same way the two other pieces are. On top of that, the chapter ends on an otherwise random note that they're going to another party at a place related to Brandon; this isn't something that necessarily needed to cap off this chapter as far as I can tell.

I guess what I'm wondering is, this slightly frankenstinian chapter; is it the result of combining two smaller segments too short to be chapters in their own right, or is it more like... a deliberately transitional chapter? That the chapter lacks a unifyingly plot relevant topic to explore, because it's only concern is for setting up pieces for coming chapters at the new estate party? I guess I'll find out soon.

[fantasticallyfoolishidea]

Hi! I really enjoy your Witcher metas :D Chiming in, I had a few thoughts re. the bath scenes comparison. 

Full disclosure, I haven’t actually seen all of the show (no Netflix, so it goes), but on the other hand, relatively clean slate! And just to be technical (shelving the shipping goggles!), I do think the blocking tells us a lot about the two sets of characters as well. 

First up, Jaskier is a gadfly. He’s confident in speech, but crossing back and forth like that speaks to anxiety. He’s afraid of the upcoming event. But he’s absolutely not afraid of Geralt; see: throwing salt(?) at him, pulling the mug away from his face, shaking his shoulder, + the baseline intimacy of carrying on while someone’s taking a bath. Geralt’s stillness, then, is the point on which Jaskier can turn. There must be a metaphor in there, too. 

Actually, Geralt’s not the only one he’s orbiting, because the majority of shots are from approximately Geralt’s eyeline, even when pulled out - we the audience look up at Jaskier with him. Imo, the angle adds to Jaskier’s flightyness. We’re synchronized with Geralt, more than him. It also emphasises the connection when they finally come to the same eye level; when they unite, we the audience are part of it, instead of a more removed point of view from above, or pulled out again.

There’s even the light falling over Jaskier’s shoulder and into Geralt’s face, following Jaskier’s gaze at him*, and that panel on the wall driving home their eye contact, for extra subtlety </sarcasam> (if I was sketching that moment, it would divide almost perfectly into the rule of three. Perfectly balanced image, yet seperated subjects.)

(*here’s another metaphor - Jaskier’s gaze illuminating Geralt just as his songs illustrate the White Wolf?)

And Yennefer! Now again, without the proper context, I don’t properly follow their exchange. But like you say, Yennefer moves around much less than Jaskier did. She actually seems much more on Geralt’s wavelength by conversation and disposition, but they still don’t share the scene in quite the heightened way that would come from that synchronization. In-character, of course it makes sense for Yennefer to move the mirror. But unless it was featured earlier in the scene somehow, the purpose it serves here is to actively deny a sightline or connection between the characters. She has a lot more confidence, in settling down with so much more intention. They’re being set up as equals, and so when they fall into step, the camera has to be the mobile factor and do the work to keep the audience in the loop. (I personally think the shots could be unified a bit more across the whole show, but the number of short takes really stands out all the more when the subjects are so still. It actually pulls me out of a moment, instead of letting the actors carry the scene, but this is just personal preference now, and I come from theater, so I’m biased. But it really feels like the camera is telling us that it’s a unified moment, instead of letting the scene stand on its own.) (for a contrast that’s also a bath scene, I love the composition in OSF’s Macbeth last year, pulling the audience’s eyes up to the crowned child)

It’s funny, but Yennefer and Geralt’s scene is very much blocked for film. The conversation as delivered depends on the camerawork to give the audience each character, or else if it was on stage, we would only basically get two profiles with a bit of splashing and bad acoustics. Park And Bark scenes on stage happen facing the audience, not the wings. OTOH, Jaskier insists on filling the space, showman that he is. He’s upstage of his partner, but a) that doesn’t kill a conversation on film like it would hamper stage (particularly when Jaskier’s doing most of the talking anyway), and b) he uses it to cheat out and maintain the camera’s ability to join his and Geralt’s moment. 

I gotta say, one more thought to throw into the ring is how the scenes treat Geralt’s scars, and by extension his whole body. He’s still a bit grody in the hair in the Jaskier scene, but apart from that reminder of his job, there’s no real emphasis put directly on his scars. They’re discussed, but not highlighted. Jaskier even casually jostles the shoulder that Yennefer points out as scarred later on. Yennefer’s scene makes a point of the nudity in a very different way - again, that mirror turns it into something sexual, even while denying the opportunity. I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this one either, but the metaphor’s in there somewhere. (Something about how the scene partners see him? Jaskier taking ‘Geralt who has scars and that’s just how life is’ as complete vs Geralt and Yennefer sharing 'scars are things that have happened to you’? idk)

Honestly I don’t have any conclusion here either, it’s just late and I wanna chime in on the good points you made and hope I’m making sense. What you said about the favors - Geralt doing one for Jaskier, and then Yennefer doing one for Geralt - reminded me of an anecdote from psychology. I am no psychologist so if I’m wrong forget this, but isn’t there something about how doing someone a favor will make the actor more well-inclined towards the person they did the favor for? I think it’s something about sunk cost fallacy. But that might be another element to the relationship-building work that each scene does; the Jaskier scene might end up contributing to Geralt’s positive thoughts on him, and the Yennefer scene add to her opinion of Geralt. Or maybe they don’t because I haven’t seen the episodes. But one way or another, neither of these scenes Needed to happen in the bath, so that choice alone points to some sort of intimacy being underscored or developed in each dynamic. Hard to say what it all 'really’ means, but the setting absolutely opens the doors to comparisons! Hope I’m making some sense, I totes dig your thoughts on this show!!

–

Aw, hell yeah! I was hoping someone with a background in theatre would weigh in on the bath post. Thank you so much! I’m with you pretty much every step of the line.

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift On Music, Fear And Aging

RTL.de // May 24th 2019

Taylor Swift is currently considered one of the most successful musician in the world. Her seventh album will soon be released, while its first single ("ME!") is already here.

You said a few days ago that you want to have more concerts in Europe. When can we expect them? Are you already in the process of planning your next tour? We definitely won’t announce any shows in the near future because there is a tried-and-true process on how we handle things, and I always like to go straight to the fans and tell them about it. But it's definitely important for me to go on tour this year in places where I have not been for a while. I'm in the middle of planning it and it's so good to be back in Germany. The fans are so nice and wonderful and friendly.

You talked openly about your fear of stalkers and terrorist attacks during live concerts. Are you less afraid now? Do you still have safety concerns? I think the fear is a constantly changing feeling. This is something that feels different every day. It is not an absolute feeling, just as happiness is not a permanent feeling. We deal with our fear from day to day - sometimes from moment to moment. And my fears flare up when something happens - like when someone tries to break into one of my houses, or when there is an act of violence somewhere in the world. This can make me very scared, because for me the most important thing is to protect the people who come to my concerts. And thankfully I have a very, very large security team and a security plan when we have live shows. We are lucky. But that's never just a given for me, I never take it for granted that we've been lucky so far.

When will we have the next album by Taylor Swift? I have not told the public yet, but I'll tell the fans first. I'm just trying to find the right moment to tell them and explain it to them. But I'm really looking forward to it. I am very proud of the new music and especially of all the things on this album that people have not heard yet. I can not wait to get it out. So, thank you for asking.

Can you tell us something about the new album? Yes. The album is really different from the last album I released, "reputation". The last album really got to the bottom of dark emotions, and I think it can be complex and interesting to make your way through dark emotions. But on the other hand, love and passion are just as complex to explore for me as a songwriter. That's why I look at my last album almost as a kind of storm, and this new album feels like the sky after a storm looks - colorful, calm and peaceful, but also somehow better, because I have survived something.

Last October you ended your silence on politics. Will there be a political song? I hope so. I think there are definitely political undertones in the new music that I have made. And I am not planning to stop encouraging young people to vote and trying to get them involved in what's going on in our country. I think that's one of the most important things I could ever do.

In few months you will be 30 years old... Yeah, haha!

Is this a kind of a turning point in your life? Would you like to be a mother someday, have children? I really don’t think men are asked that question when they turn 30. I will not answer that now. Being thirty makes me feel... I hear others say that in your thirties there’s not as much stress and anxiety in your life as in your twenties, and I agree with this statement - that in our twenties we are still searching and trying to gain new experiences, trying things out, failing, making mistakes. And I definitely plan to try and fail in my thirties as well. But I expect that in our thirties we feel a little bit better about who we are. The closer I get to it, the more I feel it happening. Hopefully that will be the case!

What is the most distinct and most notable difference between Germany and USA for you? Hhhm, I'll answer that through from the perspective of fans. When I’m performing, for me the strongest memory of a place is the moment when I look into the crowd and see how they sing the words, how they react, how enthusiastic and passionate they are. Honestly, one of the coolest things I've come to realize is that even when we speak different languages or have grown up on different sides of the ocean, the audience and their passion for music is a big, unifying factor. That makes me feel safe and comfortable no matter where I am. The German fans are great, and I really, really, really want to play for them again - soon! Because they have been so good to me. It's great to be here again.

[gojira007]

Movie Meme

Took me a bit of time, but I was tagged by @bunnikkila to list my nine favorite movies, and since I can’t help but be ridiculously verbose about that very topic, you can see them all under the cut 8D

As for who I tag?  Well, as always with the caveat that you are free to ignore if you don’t wanna, I’ll go with: @elistodragonwings @kaikaku @donnys-boy @robotnik-mun @sally-mun @fini-mun @werewolf-t33th  @cviperfan and @wildwoodmage​

and don’t worry, if you DO go for it, you don’t have to get as Extra as I did about it XD

9.) 

Look, the meme is about Favorite Movies, not necessarily the BEST Movies, OK?  And for the most part this list consists of films where that division is less meaningful in terms of how I evaluate the other movies on here.  But in this specific case, “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie”, which is ultimately not all that different from the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ TV show it spun off from and thus not particularly impressive as a work of Cinema Qua Cinema, makes the cut primarily because it’s a movie I know so well and have enjoyed so often that I can practically recite the whole thing to you by rote; I quote it all the time in my day-to-day life, I think about it often when I need a little smile, and it’s also become my favorite tool for introducing newcomers to MST3K as a whole since it was designed with a slightly broader audience in mind than the more willfully-eclectic series.  And given how much I love MST3K As A Whole, that’s an especially strong factor in its favor.

8.) 

Looky looky, @bunnikkila, we (unsurprisingly) have a pick in common!  I’m sure this is the one and only time THAT’S going to happen on this list. 8D

Y’know, nearly thirty years (and one fairly useless remake >_>) later, I think the thing that impresses me about “The Lion King” is just how much it is still able to grab me emotionally.  Some of that is unquestionably tied up with how strongly I associate this movie with my family, all of whom it became very special to as a Shared Experience.  But I also don’t know of a lot of people who haven’t had that same emotional experience with it, and that to me suggests there’s more going on here than just Nostalgia.  The mixture of Shakesperean plotting with Disney’s signature strength of Character, for one thing, granting the movie’s story an Epic Scope that never forgets the emotional inner lives of its cast.  The music for another, not only its instantly-iconic song-book but also its memorable score, armed with both Big Bombast and Gentle Sentiment.  And the unforgettably gorgeous animation, rendering every last element of its world with believable naturalism and strongly-defined personality.  All of it, together, makes for what I still personally consider the Crowning Achievement of the Disney Renaissance.

7.)

I think, if I had to name the thing I find most lacking in far too many modern Action Movies, it’s Clarity.  They all tend to lard their plots up with a bunch of unnecessary contrivances and complications in hopes of making themselves appear more clever than they actually are, and all it usually does is just dilute the impact of the whole thing.  “Mad Max: Fury Road”, by contrast, is all about Clarity.  I could sum up literally its entire plot in a paragraph if I wanted, because it is basically One Big Chase Scene from start to finish, never really deviating from that structure for more than a few minutes at a time.  And that, combined with its exceptionally well-crafted Action Sequences, means that the full weight of its visceral power hits you full force every time.  But don’t be fooled; that simplicity is not to be mistaken for shallowness.  Indeed, precisely by getting out of its own way, knowing exactly what it wants to do and why, “Fury Road” also delivers a story that is, in spite of what you might guess, genuinely subtle and smart.  Every character is immediately unforgettable and compelling because their role in the story is so well-considered and their personalities all so stark.  The world it crafts feels at once fascinatingly surreal and yet All Too Real at the same time because even its most Fantastic elements are ultimately just grotesque reflections of things the audience knows only too well.  And most of all, it tells a story with real, meaningful Themes that are deeply woven into each of its individual elements, such that the whole thing is deeply satisfying emotionally, but also piercingly Relevant in all the best, most affecting ways.

6.) 

Oh look, another pick I have in common with @bunnikkila!  This must be the last one, right?

But yeah, this is just a legitimately great movie, at every level, in every way.  Stylistically, it is one of the most radically inventive things to have ever been made in the world of Western Animated Movies, gleefully mixing together a vast array of Aesthetics and Techniques that are at once viscerally distinct and yet coherently connected, all rendered with a fantastic eye toward the world of Comic Book Visual Language that keeps finding new and extremely fun ways to play with that instantly-recognizable iconography.  For that alone, I would call it one of the greatest triumphs of 21st century animation.  But then, on top of that, the story it tells is one that is simultaneously Arch and self-aware, delivering some of the most fantastically hilarious punch-lines imaginable more than a few of which are at the expense of the very franchise it is working within...but also entirely earnest, sincere, and emotionally affecting.  It is, at once, a movie that manages to be about The Idea Of Spider-Man in its totality while also being about just one kid coming to grips with who he is, what he can do, and what his life can be.  I don’t know that I can remember the last time a movie so immediately and unmistakably marked itself as an Enduring Masterpiece, but “Into the Spider-Verse” absolutely pulled it off.

5.)

Ordinarily, I would cheat and give this slot to the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in its totality.  But somehow, the fact that this is about “FAVORITE” movies instead of just what we think the BEST one is compels me to narrow it down to just one.  And if I had to pick just one, it would be the first of the three, “Fellowship of the Ring”.  It’s not necessarily anything that the other two movies get wrong, either.  All three of the LotR movies possess many of its keenest strengths, after all.  For a starter, there’s the keen understanding of how best to adapt the source material without being enslaved to it; capturing many of its most iconic moments while cleverly tweaking elements to make them more cinematic, knowing what scenes to focus on for the sake of more clearly focusing the emotional through-lines of the story, and knowing what scenes, no matter how good on the page, ultimately don’t fit to the shape the adaptation has taken.  There’s also its pitch-perfect casting, each and every actor doing a fantastic job of embodying the characters so well that even as your personal vision of them from the books may differ radically from what is on-screen, they nonetheless end up feeling Right for the part and a strong, compelling presence.  And there’s the deft visual hand of director Peter Jackson, who knows exactly how to craft a Middle Earth that feels at once lived-in and real but also Fantastic and magical.  “Fellowship”, for me at least, thus wins out mostly because it has the good luck of being adapted from the strongest of the three books, the point at which the narrative is at its most unified and thus has the strongest overall momentum.  But also because so few movies have so swept me away with the sense of stepping into a world I have always dreamed of in my mind’s eye, and that’s the sort of thing that can only happen at the beginning of a journey.

4.) 

Now here’s a movie that is literally sown in to my very being.  It’s the last movie my mother saw in theaters before becoming a Mom.  I grew up watching the “Real Ghostbusters” cartoon all the time and playing with the attendant toys; I had a “Ghostbusters” Birthday Party when I was, like, four years old.  It has been my annual Halloween Tradition to get myself a big Cheese Pizza and watch this movie for about as long as I’ve had disposable income to myself.  There is, quite literally, no point in my life where I don’t remember “Ghostbusters” being a fixture in it.  And as a nice bonus?  It is, legitimately, a Genuinely Great Movie.  I realize that isn’t quite as universally agreed upon these days as it was even a few years ago (thanks, Literally The Worst Kind Of Virulently Misogynist Assholes lD; ), but I still feel pretty confident in saying this one really is That Good.  I still find basically every one of its jokes hilarious; even now I could quote just about any one of them and get a laugh.  I still find its central premise, What If Exorcism Was A Blue-Collar Business, a brilliant, almost subversively clever one that takes The Supernatural out of the realm of The Unknowable and into a world where even you, an ordinary person off the street, can in fact fight back against it.  I still think it’s one of the all-time great examples of how to balance Tone in this sort of High Concept Genre Bender, by allowing The Story to be played relatively straight while allowing the comedy to flow naturally from the characters’ reactions to that story, allowing its Ghostly aspects to land as Genuinely Scary (or at least Worth Taking Seriously) without getting too Stern and Serious about it.  And I still listen to that unforgettable Title Song all the time!  So yeah, even if I could be more objective about it, “Ghostbusters” would almost certainly make this cut.      

3.) 

And so we come to the third and last pick I have in common with @bunnikkila, not coincidentally a movie that played a key role in solidifying our friendship, as bonding over our shared love of it was a big part of how we got to know each other on deviantART waaaay back in the day <3

By 2008, I really didn’t think it was possible for a movie or comic or TV show to really become “part” of me anymore, the way things like Sonic the Hedgehog or Marvel Super Heroes or Some Other Movie Character Who Might Be At The Top Of This List had.  And then “WALL-E” came along and proved that to be completely, utterly wrong.  I didn’t just love this movie, I was inspired by it, to a degree of strength and consistency that I’m still not entirely sure has yet been matched.  And to be sure, some of that is undoubtedly because the movie had already basically won the war before I’d even bought my ticket; Adorable Robots In Love is something like My Platonic Storytelling Ideal, after all.  But even setting that aside, “WALL-E” is a movie where even now I can’t help but be keenly aware, and gently awed, at the beauty of its craft; indeed, watching this movie in a theater did a lot to make me better understand why movies work on us the way they do, because I left that theater chewing so much on every last one of its elements.  Its gorgeous animation, the way it conveys Character through Actions more so than language, the dream-like quality of its musical score (even as i type this i get teary thinking about certain motifs), the clear and meaningful way it builds its theme and story together so harmoniously, and the particular perspective it takes on our relationships with each other, with our environments, and with our own technology...all of it speaks to me deeply and profoundly, and it’s no coincidence that I have seen this movie more times in theaters than any other on this list (twelve times, for the record, and I still remember each and every time XD).

2.) 

This one needs no personal qualifications, to my mind.  Yes, I have some degree of nostalgic attachment to it for having seen it relatively young with my brothers and being deeply moved by it then, but it’s not at all like the kind of Nostalgia I have for “The Lion King”.  “Princess Mononoke” is just flat-out, full-stop a complete Masterpiece, not just my personal pick for one of the single-best animated films ever made, but one of the best films period.  It’s almost difficult for me to put into words how great this movie is, certainly in a way that hasn’t been repeated to death by thousands of other smarter people, because no one of its elements quite answers the question of why it is so great, to my mind.  Yes, the animation is absolutely gorgeous with a design sensibility that brings Ancient Mythology to life so vividly that its influence can still be felt today (The Forest Spirit alone has been homaged all over the place).  And yes, the music is hauntingly beautiful, at once capturing the gentle rhythm of nature but also the elegiac tone of Life Moving On.  And yes, the story is an incredible mixture of the Broad Mythic Strokes of an Ancient Legend grounded in all too human Emotions and Ideas about the balance of nature, the full meaning and cost of Warfare, and perhaps most important of all, about how we determine Right and Wrong when everyone involved in a conflict is fighting simply for the right to survive.  But all of those things add up together to something even greater than a simple sum, because each one isn’t just good in its own right but because each element so perfectly reinforces the other.  And even having said all that?  I really could just carry on singing this movie’s praises.  Just...an absolute masterpiece, top to bottom.

1.) 

I don’t imagine any of you are terribly surprised at this, right?  I almost feel like it’d be redundant to explain my love for this movie, given how self-obvious I imagine it is to basically everyone who knows me Literally At All.  But heck, I’ve rambled on this long, why not go all the way?  Because the thing of it is, “Gojira” (to be clear, the original Japanese movie from 1954 rather than its American edit, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” from 1956) doesn’t just top the list by being a Great Movie.  Though to be clear, it really is.  Flawless?  No; there’s a reliance on puppetry that even for the time can be a bit chintzier than the movie can really afford, in particular.  But brilliant, even so, a heart-wrenching example of Science Fiction Storytelling As Allegory, one that, in a rarity not just for its own genre but indeed for many movies in general, very meaningfully lingers on its deepest, darkest implications.  Many a film critic has pointed it out, and it remains true: the stark black-and-white photography heightens the sense of Implacable Horror at the core of the story, and the way the central Melodrama, a tragic love triangle that carries with it many aspects of Class Conflict and Personal Desire VS. The Collective Good, ties back into the main story is truly beautiful in its elegance and emotional impact.  Still, for me personally, it tops the list, now and always, because it is a movie that affirmed something for me, that the character I had fallen in love with as a child convincing his family to watch a monster movie with him on television to prove his seven-year-old bravery, really was as genuinely as powerful and meaningful a figure as I had always imagined him to be. 

[ansu-gurleht]

okay so i went through the datamined books from eso, taking notes as i went. @boethiah sent me a message this morning about it, asking what i thought. so i figured i might as well get real comprehensive about taking down notes to answer decently, or at least do it to organize my thoughts. 

before she sent me that i hadn’t heard about this, so i went into it bright-faced and intrigued. i didn’t think my notes would end up too long, so i just figured i’d send them to her when i was done, even “talking” to her in the notes (you’ll see what i mean by that). 

but uh. as all things lore-related, i got a bit carried away. stopped almost halfway thru to go to class, and by then i’d started to notice some really weird, kinda silly shit in it. and then i noticed everybody in tesblr talking about it, and finally realized, “oh. so it’s like that.” so i figure i’ll post it here publicly instead.

despite the uh. obvious nonsense in a lot of this, i think there’s a lot of interesting things hidden away. so what i’m going to do is just post my notes under the read-more. i’m too lazy to organize them into something more coherent lol. they’re basically just me commenting on certain lines and stuff. 

i won’t like, really go into why most of this is stupid, bc other people have already done so, and better than i probably could’ve. but you’ll know. somethings i quote things and just. have no idea how to even address them other than, at best, “??????” either bc it doesn’t make much sense, eludes useful analysis, or is just stupid.

anyways, here goes:

book 1:

azura: - "the Path"? am i wrong or has a "Path" never been referenced in khajiiti lore?

khenarthi: - alkosh comforts khenarthi after lorkhaj died? yeah right. - khenarthi's role as psychopomp for azurah mirrors kyne's role for shor. but azura doesn't factor into nord/atmoran mythology at all.

jone and jode: - azurah cares for jone and jode? interesting. (also, "Bright Moons"? full moons?)

lorkhaj: - lorkhaj as "White Lion?" - namiira (the Great Darkness) followed lorkhaj as his burden? - mention of a "path" again, made by lorkhaj with purpose. sounds yokudan. - "in conflict with himself" & "represents the duality of the Khajiiti soul" ... desert and jungle ... strife, hardship, and life, love ... both tainted deadly by nirni, according to ahnissi - "We honor his sacrifice by walking the Path with purpose and resisting the call of the Dark." ... the Path again ... the Dark? namiira? - (the khajiit seem to conflate namira and nocturnal. this isn't a new concept, as they both genuinely do overlap in many ways, but an interesting one.) - "the true spirit of Lorkhaj will sometimes appear" ... "by Azurah" - nerevar/ine, "or Khenarthi" - hjalti, "or by his oldest name" - ...ysmir?

magrus: - all of this magrus stuff is new, to my knowledge. - the importance of him fleeing from "Boethra and Lorkhaj" probably excites you :P - "fell into the Moonshadow" ... "too full of fear to rule a sphere" ... "tore out his other eye" (odin parallel? a "failed" odin, maybe? unless seeing "out of one eye" is metaphorical) - "Varliance Gate"???? "Aether Prism"???? they're the sun, but those names are brand new afaik. overall a strange alternative to the story of magnus and the sun - "Some sorcerers hold that Magrus left the eye willingly" - more odin stuff

book 2:

- azurah knows all the names of all the spirits, their protonyms? that's interesting. a lot of that "protonymic" lore is derived from the whole "true names have power" stuff, popular in magical circles from sources like kabbalah thru the lens of crowley. - "And Fadomai told stories of her children and her favorite aspects of each of them. When she reached Azurah, she smiled and told her favored daughter she could not decide. And Fadomai died." ;----; - "sat in the Great Darkness for timeless ages" ... sat with namiira? - seems to have carved moonshadow from the great darkness. (the great darkness seems to have dual meaning as both oblivion and namiira. then again, i think only clan mother ahnissi said the great darkness was namiira, so that (morrowind) lore might be outdated.) - this scene with lorkhaj and his empty dark heart is......interesting. - "UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA AZU RA" - you can pick out "namiira" and "azura" in this, but the meaning of "UR" and "DRA" elude me. - lorkhaj gets his heart torn out YET AGAIN. very rude azurah - the "Moon Beast" and its hunger remind me of the yokudan sep. - i think once upon the time "dro-m'Athra" referred to daedra in general, but i think eso has made them a specific type of daedra resembling khajiit. even more specifically, some kind of "dark khajiit" born from dead evil khajiit. - "lighting the fire with lanterns of love and mercy" - your vivec is showing, azurah. or i guess, the other way around. - this "ashes of Lorkhaj" bit gets me thinking about ysmir, again. but i'm not sure what to do with that.

book 3

sheggorath: - now THIS is a not shitty interpretation of sheggorath! he's not a "god of madness," but a god of mental fortitude, a god who tests convinction. - more stuff about "the Path" - "must be ... overcome before a Khajiit can visit Hermorah's library"? - "Sheggorath is dead and has been replaced by something Other" - the hero of kvatch? but if this is from eso, that hasn't happened yet? unless the mantling of sheogorath is a pretty common occurrence; i remember someone on tumblr suggested that this might happen every era.

orkha: - "Orkha ... followed Boethra back through the Many Paths" ... what does that mean? - "Lorkhaj, Khenarthi, and Boethra battled the demon in the ancient songs" - ... as trinimac? - "but Orkha could only be banished and would not die" ;) - "serve as tests along the Path" - so far these princes are being painted similarly to their house of troubles counterparts

dagon (also called merrunz.) - no reference to merrunz being the kitty cat. :( next - ...okay not really. "explore the Great Darkness rather than the Many Paths"? - molagh "tortured him until the creation of the World?" but "the wife of Molagh freed Merrunz"? who is "the wife of Molagh"?

molagh (balls) - "twelve Demon Kings"? should probably look into how they got that number - "Boethra and Molagh fought to a standstill before the lattice, but it was Azurah who shackled the Demon King with secrets only she knows." - i dont have anything to say about this really, just an interesting line i think. - "you will overcome him with the might of Boethra, the Will Against Rule." - interesting...afaik, aside from HAVING a khajiit name, boethiah never really factored into their faith that much, and wasn't ever mentioned in clan mother ahnissi. i wonder if azurah at some point attempted to unify her plans for the dunmer and the khajiit.

merid-nunda - interestingly, the khajiit seem to call her by her magna-ge name. - "False Spirit of Greed"? - magrus "loved only himself and his own creations"? idk if this seems all that congruent with the magrus from his own description - "cold spirit, born of light without love" - interesting - "blame her for orchestrating the death of might Lorkhaj"??!?!?!? what?????????? - "When Merid-Nunda dared assault the Lattice, Azurah struck her down before the Varliance Gate and dragged her away from it. She then cast Merid-Nunda into the Void and bound her there with mirrors. The nomads say she has since escaped." this whole thing is interesting

book 4

nirni: - nothing interesting on nirni.

y'ffer: - y'ffer "corrupted by the Great Darkness," (namira), who apparently killed nirni???!??! what??????? - worth noting that ahnissi doesn’t paint y’ffer as “corrupted” or evil or anything. in her words he’s kinda just a moron who doesn’t *get it* and does his own thing instead.  - don’t get the obsession with making namiira some like. crazy super evil being. feels like eso took a look at the list of princes and was like “who hasn’t tried to destroy/take over the world yet. that’s what daedric princes do right”

hircine - hircine doesn't get a funny ta'agra name, i guess. - graht-elk?

hermorah - hermorah helps azurah maintain the ja-kha'jay?

sangiin - according to what this says about sangiin, khajiit are actually NOT one of the most hedonistic races on tamriel. suuuuuuuuure, buddy.

book 5

- a look at the khajiit afterlife w/ azurah in moonshadow. - first you walk the sands, then you walk the glass, then you walk the thorns, then you have a good time, then azurah sends you back to nirn do something else (reincarnated)? but it might just be this one guy who goes off to do something ("Bring my children back"), he seems kinda special. no idea who he's supposed to be.

book 6

- all this shit about akha and alkosh and alkhan is bullshit. the fuck is akha even supposed to be? according to his name you'd assume an association with akatosh, but alkosh is akatosh, right?

akha: - this book says akha is the first cat. ahnissi says alkosh is the first cat. - "Pathfinder and the One Unmourned" - are we talking about akatosh or dagoth ur here. - "Many Paths"??? again?? what are they. knockoff walking ways? - "mated with the Winged Serpent of the East [akavir], the Dune Queen of the West [yokuda], and the Mother Mammoth of the North [atmora]. He then went to the South [pyandonea] and never returned." then alkosh shows up and says "yikes that akha guy was a little fucked huh?"

alkosh: - alkosh is "The Dragon King" and "Highmane." association with the Mane of the khajiit - "In time, the children of Akha overthrew [Alkosh] and scattered his body on the West Wind." ...??? is this a reference to the middle dawn? seems unlikely - apparently khenarthi put him back together. also seems unlikely

alkhan: - oh so the khajiit recognize alduin now too. cool.

boethra: - and boethiah i guess, why not????

mafala: - mafala has always been part of khajiit religion, tho, afaik. she is the og clan mother. - "She watches over Eight of the Many Paths, each of which a Khajiit must walk in time." ?????????? wtf are the many paths!!!!! why are there eight of them!!!!!! is this a reference to the spiral skein, or satellite realms (the spokes) of it? - forreal i think they gave up on pretense here when they started listing allies and shit. - "Her numbers are Eight and Sixteen, and these are two of her keys." this just sounds like something from the 36 lessons tbh. this doesn't sound like khajiit lore at all

book 7

lorkhaj (moon beast): - confusingly, lorkhaj as fadomai's favored son and lorkhaj as the moon beast are called by the same name, and despite this have separate entries in these books. - wonder if there's some equivalent in other myths to the moon beast. he seems pretty interesting, being "born of the dark heart of Lorkhaj" - there's UR DRA again, attached to namiira, again, who is apparently an enemy of the khajiit.

namiira: - apparently eso has rebranded namiira as like, an absolute enemy of the khajiit, with the dro-m'athra as her corrupted-khajiit minions or something? except i thought dro-m'athra originated from the moon beast? anyways, ahnissi only said that the great darkness became namiira. didn't say that was a bad thing necessarily. - also, her khajiiti ta'agra name, namiira, just so happens to be her protonym, NA MII RA.

noctra: - oh, so they do have nocturnal, as "noctra". - wait, so she's the "daughter of twilight"??? isn't twilight, idk, azura's thing???? (i feel like i've heard nocturnal be associated with twilight before, but it still makes little sense. it was probably from eso, too.) - boethra separated noctra from namiira. one could say she *stole* noctra from namiira ;) - noctra is ok by the khajiit, whereas her progenitor namiira is not. ok?

varmiina: - ok we have vaermina now too i guess. why the fuck not. - "The Lost Daughter. This spirit was not of any litter, but was born from Fadomai's fear of losing her children." - "Azurah killed this dark spirit in the Underworld" what the fuck is "the Underworld". they just be making shit up now

[?????] (no, really. that's what it says. dunno if that's a placeholder or intentional): - "[?????] A spirit of vengeance. It has no will of its own, as it was born from Azurah's grief after the death of Fadomai and Lorkhaj." ????? - "It sometimes appears in songs as a black panther, a warrior in ebony armor, or as a hidden sword." idk about "a black panther," but the "warrior in ebony armor" evokes ebonarm, who's technically still canon, and "a hidden sword" could be umbra. not sure what the connection here is.

[weshallneverrevolt]

In-Home Streaming, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Couch

I’m a longtime PC gamer for many reasons. Yes, there’s the snob factor: PC games can look better than consoles almost all of the time. But it’s also because of the customizability. You pick your framerate, your resolution, your graphical settings. But you also own a machine, not an appliance: you learn its quirks, its inner workings. It’s something you take care of. For an enthusiast, a custom built computer is like a tailored suit.

And yet, there’s something I have missed for a long time: gaming on the couch.

Couch gaming is how I grew up. Huddled with friends around a tiny TV and N64, controllers in hand, shouting and laughing. Or leaned back in a chair with a cold soda, savoring every moment of a lengthy Final Fantasy cutscene. An office chair just isn’t the same. It’s rigid and harsh. It says “at attention,” not “relax.” It was the antithesis of my ideal gaming experience.

But after I got my PC, I never bought a console. For one, I couldn’t afford them. In college my money was precious, and my computer – already cobbled together from low-end or used parts – was expensive enough to maintain. The idea of dropping hundreds on a console and proper television was out of the question.

As an adult with more disposable income and now a home of my own – complete with an awesome living room my wife put together – I wanted to have that experience again. But my budget-mindedness and graphical snobbery hadn’t changed, and my PC was upstairs on the other side of the house. What to do?

I wanted couch gaming. And I managed to get it without buying a console or moving my PC to the living room thanks to a hugely underappreciated technology: in-home streaming. Here I’ll share what I’ve learned, discuss setups, and evangelize one of the coolest tech tricks I’ve discovered in homeownership.

What is In-Home Streaming?

You’ve probably heard of Google Stadia, Google’s uh…interesting new streaming game service. The basic idea is that your console isn’t in your living room. Instead, it’s located in a Google datacenter, which streams the game as a video through the internet. It sort of works, with the hiccups you’d expect with streaming a game over the internet: lag, input delay, graphical glitches. It’s like having very, very long HDMI and USB cords.

In-home streaming is basically that, but in your house. With the distance being just a few rooms instead of across state lines, latency becomes much less of an issue. It finally gives PC gamers the one thing we were missing: the couch.

Because it encodes video in real-time, in-home video streaming is a pretty new technology, and it requires certain hardware and software. The two dominant solutions are Steam and Moonlight, and they’re different in important ways.

Steam Remote Play

Steam Remote Play is by far the simplest method. For one, it integrates directly with Steam, so there is no complicated setup. Just install Steam on both devices, boot em up and you’re good to go. It pairs well with Steam’s “Big Picture” interface for a console-like experience.

Steam streaming also runs on just about anything, including very small computers like a Raspberry Pi. This is because it uses H.264 encoding, a standard that has been around for a long time. Just about any computer made since 2008 can play H.264 video, meaning that your old laptop or a $25 PC from Goodwill can be turned into a stream machine. Encoding H.264 on the host machine also has little performance cost.

Where Steam hits a limit is in resolution. Steam can only stream games at the resolution they use on your native monitor. So if your computer monitor is 1080p, you can’t play in 4K when it’s streamed to your TV. You can go lower resolution, which is fine if you’re streaming to some laptop screens.

Steam works with all Xbox controllers, as well as the Dual Shock 4 through DS4Windows.

Moonlight

Moonlight is what I use for in-home streaming. It’s an open-source implementation of NVidia’s “GameStream” technology, originally developed for their Shield devices. My main PC has a GTX 1070, which supports GameStream.

Moonlight has a number of significant advantages over Steam. For me, the most important is its ability to stream in a different resolution than your desktop. So while my desktop monitor is 1080p, I can play games in native 4K on my TV set! For newer games that my PC can’t run at full 4K, I use NVidia’s dynamic super resolution feature to run at 1440p or another resolution, then upscale it to 4K.

GameStream can also encode in HEVC, a cutting-edge video codec that offers superior quality with lower bandwidth. There’s virtually no artifacting, and colors usually look better than with Steam streaming. There is also HDR support. Because HEVC is lower bandwidth, it’s also ideal for wi-fi streaming.

If you’ve been keeping up with all the NVidia mentions, you’ve probably figured out the most significant drawback of Moonlight: hardware exclusivity. GameStream can only encode certain NVidia graphics cards. For instance, the 10-series locks GameStream to the 1050ti or higher, so budget gamers with a 1030 or 1050 are out of luck. Good news is that the receiving PC can run non-nVidia graphics.

GameStream also supports H.264, but for HEVC you need more powerful hardware on the receiving end. So while any old shitty laptop could stream with Steam, it would choke on HEVC.

Moonlight has the same controller support as Steam.

My Setup

When I first built my setup, I set a few standards:

4K, 60 frames per second

Option for “upscaled” 4K similar to the PS4 Pro/XB1X

4K Blu-ray quality HEVC (around 100mbps bitrate)

Quiet

An unobtrusive look, like a home theater appliance

A hard-wired setup for low latency

Less than a week after we moved in, I hard-wired my house for internet. I ran an Ethernet cable all the way from my office, through the garage, under my crawlspace and into my living room. I then crimped the ends (badly) and installed a wall outlet in my office (barely.) If I were to do this now, I’d buy a pre-made 200-300ft CAT6 cable on Amazon and just run that. That said, my cable still works for what I need.

For my streaming PC, I knew that I had to go small form factor. The credenza in my living room didn’t have space for a full-size PC, and the aesthetic of most of those would offend my non-gamer wife. I considered building one, but most SFF hardware is targeted at enthusiasts and so doesn’t come cheap.

But small form factor PCs have a particular application: offices. When offices dump their old hardware, you can get it for almost nothing. I found just such a deal on reddit’s /r/buildapcsales for a Lenovo ThinkCentre m58p, refurbished from Staples for $20 shipped. It was small, simply designed, and not too flashy. But it is from 2008, and needed a few cheap upgrades:

I swapped out the dual-core E8400 processor for a quad-core Q9400 I had on hand.

I replaced the loud, slow hard drive with a small, cheap ADATA SU635 solid state drive.

For my quiet living room setting, I also replaced the cooling fan with a high-quality Noctua model.

But chief among these upgrades was a graphics card. This PC, being more than a little old, could not play HEVC video without specialized hardware. And it had to be silent, not require much power, and be able to fit inside this small case.

So I turned to the NVidia GT 1030, specifically the MSI low profile silent model. Targeted at home theater PCs and poor gamers, the GT 1030 is not gonna blow anyone’s socks off. But it does 4K, and it does HEVC, and it does all of this over HDMI so it plugs straight into my TV with no issues. One quirk with my model is that the heatsink didn’t fit in my unusual case, so I had to take a hacksaw to it.

For a truly 1%er experience, I wanted to be able to start my upstairs PC remotely. That way when I want to play, I don’t even have to walk up there. For this I used an Android app called Unified Remote, which allows you to remotely control a computer from a phone. Unified Remote is free, but I bought the premium version with Play Rewards points.

The Value Question

Let’s get the first question out of the way: if a NVidia Shield is $150, why not just buy that? A few reasons:

It has hard-wired ethernet. No matter how good your wifi is, hard-wired is better.

Moonlight’s interface is more flexible than the Shield’s.

This also runs YouTube with a full keyboard remote for easier searches.

I can install a Blu-ray player at some point, if I choose.

I can emulate many games on the living room PC; the GT 1030 is great for that.

It runs party games like Jackbox just fine.

This is more fun.

So let’s run a tally. I’m not counting the hard-wiring, since I needed that for my office computer anyway.

The PC itself: $20

GT 1030: $75

Noctua 92mm fan: $15

Bluetooth receiver: $10

SSD: $15

Q9400: free to me, but you can get one on eBay for like $10

So for $135 – less than a PS4 Pro or Xbox One X – I get 4K couch gaming at higher framerates and higher settings. And for certain games, like Overwatch or Cities: Skylines, I still have a killer keyboard and mouse setup.

You can easily make this cheaper, especially if you use Steam and aim for 1080p instead of 4K. A Raspberry Pi – around $60 with accessories – can do 1080p Steam streaming flawlessly. Most Intel CPUs made after 2011 can decode H.264 without a graphics card, and the 6000 series and higher can even decode HEVC. You could also go for a GT 1030 with a fan, which are usually cheaper.

So How’s It Perform?

In short: great!

I’ve played everything from The Outer Worlds to Slay the Spire to Rocket League on my streaming setup, and they all work perfectly. Sekiro – which requires extremely precise inputs – does suffer a bit from the input lag, but I can’t detect lag with most games. Visual quality is excellent with very little loss in color saturation. You will notice artifacting on grass or leaves when you’re up close, but this is less visible at 1440p or higher.

I would not play competitive games on a streaming setup. The only one I play seriously is Overwatch, and there is definitely a difference in my performance when streaming. Competitive first-person shooters also suck to play on a controller, and a proper couch desk is not an investment I’m prepared to make.

Be prepared to tweak graphical settings if you’re shooting for 4K on most setups, as the video encoding does have a slight performance cost. This is not true for older games; Dark Souls and Dishonored run at a locked 4K and 60fps. For modern games, Forza Horizon 5 runs at 1800p on High, and Resident Evil 2 is smooth as silk at 1440p.

One final tip: if you’re streaming over wi-fi, be prepared to make some compromises. I would stick to 1080p to avoid lag, or do 4K only on HEVC with lower visual quality. Also streaming basically requires 5ghz wifi, so if you have an old router you should probably cut back to 720p.

So that’s in-home streaming! If you’re already a PC gamer, it’s an affordable and easy way to achieve a console-like experience. Feel free to DM me with any questions you have about hardware or software setup.