#ive been reading / listening to some books recently . bc i want to read more and be a better writer and what not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gammagoop · 6 months

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my recent fixation has been the wings of fire book series since ive been rereading it, which i feel is not very related to any of my other interests and so i havent posted much about it. but i literally have “post whatever i want” in my bio so i’m not going to let the whims of an audience stop me any longer

all that to say heres some of my series opinions in the form of tierlists

(not including 3rd arc bc i havent gotten there on my reread and i dont remember it very well)

character tierlist! (added the legends: darkstalker characters manually since they weren’t in the tiermaker version)

notes:

mightyclaws is my background character fave. category 10 glup shitto event

i need to do a long post on how much i love whiteout. another day

i realy like clay in the first book and if he retained the same level of depth throughout the series he would be in the top tier-- its just that his writing makes him so shallow in the rest of the books it makes me so sad :[ i was listening (audiobook) to hidden kingdom and like. 90% of his lines/actions were about food and the other 10% were about protecting the other dragonets..... i related so much to his anxiety in the first book and his empathy and his ability to see both sides of things... gah. sad.

jambu is also one of my glup shittos. i love his whimsical ass

foeslayer is a hard one for me because she never did anything wrong she's just..... not as present as i wish she was. she's treated as a very vital character with how many large plot points hinge on her, but she doesnt have much agency herself. its stated a lot that she's extremely important to darkstalker but in the legends book we dont see much of them interacting? idk. i like her but she always feels so uninvolved

the 'beat you to death (funny)' tier is just for characters who i like on some level but are also pathetic and worms. out of that tier i like deathbringer the best and mastermind the worst

tier after that are for characters who i have a positive opinion on but not really a strong one. anemone and sora are more complicated, but i do generally like them. i really just feel bad for them if anything. i think i like clearsight more than the other characters in this tier, but she's not in the 'wonderful :D' tier because i dont think she has a very strong personality

the 'conflicting feelings' tier is kind of a trainwreck because it means a lot of things

obviously riptide is the outlier since he hasnt done anything nearly to the degrees of coral, glacier, and albatross-- but i do have conflicting feelings on him. riptide is completely inoffensive, hasn't done anything wrong, i just dont like him because he has no real reason to be in the story. like you could write him out very easily. his only purpose is to be a love interest for tsunami which is like...... gh. dude. she doesnt need one. if she's gonna have a romance it should come naturally. not "wow this seawing is handsome and also he's the first one ive properly met as well as a guy do im in love with him now" like girl do better

coral and glacier both have done bad things and obviously have bad intentions but also.... theyre not the worst. bad but not the worst.

albatross is a victim of emotional abuse and even though that doesnt justify his actions it does explain how they could have been negated

next 3 tiers are self-explanatory. i forgot to put her on there but queen vigilance goes in 'the grime beneath my shoe'

actually no i wanna talk about scarlet and battlewinner: i think the thing that i like about them is their theatrics. they bot have such a huge presence, like a disney villain. whenever i read scarlet dialogue it almost feels poorly written with how over-the-top she is but. no other character talks like that. its just how scarlet is. and i think thats so good. whereas battlewinner's situation conceptually is just cool as hell. i love how she struggles to speak because of the ice in her throat, her rage, the way she's hinted at but her reveal is completely unexpected...... very very good

no one likes morrowseer

when im in an emotional abuse and classism competition and my opponent is queen lagoon 😧

ship tierlist! (made on ms paint since i couldnt find any good ones on tiermaker. turned out to be nice since i can mess with the placement more)

notes:

top tier is /j i just dont really like how tui writes romance

i was kind of against glorybringer at first for the same reason i dont like tsunami/riptide but honestly it grew on me. their dynamic is so fun

anemome/tamarin is good i just think tamarin could do better if she wanted to. but i understand the "i can fix her" mentality and i do genuinely think tamarin could help anemone

sunny/fatespeaker is kind of a funny concept but also i can totally see it

i genuinely forgot turtlejou was a thing in canon ... it does not make sense to me. who came up with this. in the words of my friend "forced heterosexual on both parts tbh"

i love turtle and peril as friends so so so much if i saw someone romantically shipping them i feel like i could get mad

smolder/thorn is like if glorybringer was bad. mostly just because thorn can do way better than him. smolder and vermilion should kiss each other and bond over being wimp princes who havent actually done anything wrong themselves but bow to tyrant relatives to avoid getting killed

i dont know if this will be an unpopular take but clay and peril is such an awful ship. i like them as friends, i think theyre great as friends, but a romantic relationship between them would be so deeply unhealthy considering their situation. peril would be even more dependent and attached to him than she already is, and clay is not the kind of dragon who has an easy time saying 'no' to things. it would not be a malicious relationship in any way, but it would not be good for them. peril needs to learn how to live for herself, not for the approval of anyone else

okay thats all for today friends. thank you if you read all of my mismatched thoughts if you did ^_^ i love talking

#wings of fire #long post #wof #masontalking

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stepsofthepalace · 8 months

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Still discovering new things about myself every day…

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about this and I think I just need to write them down and get them out so I can stop running over them again and again in my head.

YouTube kept recommending me this video about signs that you could be asexual. I kind of dismissed it the first couple times, being like “well I don’t need to watch this, bc I’m not.” I’ve known about asexuality and had ace friends for the better part of a decade, and I’ve been pretty sure I’m demi for much of that time.

But then the video kept popping up in my feed… and I watch a *lot* of YouTube, particularly putting it on in the background while I’m working since I’m generally doing fairly low-mental-effort computer work a lot of the time and I like to watch videos/listen to podcasts/listen to music while I do it

So I finally decided to put it on for curiosity’s sake. And wow… I got slammed in the face with several things in that video that hit a little too close to home. Like, stopped me in my tracks, causing me to rewind and listen to what they said multiple times over kind of close to home

And Loveless by Alice Osman was referenced at one point in the video, and since I was already having a mild panic about what this all meant, I checked it out of the library and read it in less than a day. I full on sobbed at one point reading it

And all this is also happing while I’ve been (somewhat unenthusiastically) planning a date with someone on hinge. I had recently updated my profile to demisexual instead of lesbian after a date where the other person had clearly been interested in sex on the first date if I was open to it (which there’s nothing wrong with that but I was very embarrassed and wanted to make sure I was clear about it from the start now that I was not interested in that).

So this girl I was planning a date with asked me what demisexuality looked like for me (especially since she was more open to casual sex) and I was weirdly thrown by the question - particularly since I think I had just watched the video that day or the day before. I ended up unintentionally leaving her on read for like two days just trying to parse through my feelings about the question

Also also, I watch a lot of JaidenAnimations videos, and she made a video about being AroAce a while back (maybe like a year ago?) and there were a few things she’d said in that video that had hit a little close to home, but I’d more or less written it off. And now because of this new video, and the book, I’m remembering my feelings about her video and it’s causing even more questions and mild spiraling

Anyway, I’m still going on the date this weekend, but it’s hitting at a weird time for me - after the video (or videos) and the book, and trying to do more research in my limited free time right now, I’m starting to think I might be fully ace. And I never thought this was the case until recently, but I think I may be on the Aromatic spectrum too…

Like I don’t think I’m fully Aro, but maybe demiromantic or even grayromantic. Bc I’ve had crushes before, but they’re very few and far between, and honestly I think some of them were just friends that I felt extremely close to and and wanted to hang out with all the time (like I’m not really sure if I ever wanted to date them, or even kiss them, or if I was just misinterpreting my strong platonic feelings??)

The only person I *know* I had romantic feelings for was the one girlfriend I had in sophomore year of college - and I was friends with her doe the better part of a year before those feelings made themselves known. But that ended pretty spectacularly after a very short span of time

For years I thought I was still just traumatized from that experience. I thought it exacerbated my fear of intimacy, that I was being too prudish, that I was picky, that it was just my anxiety getting the better of me, that I was a (very) late bloomer, etc

Ive always made a shit ton of excuses for why I didn’t/don’t date much (“i don’t have time right now,” “I don’t like dating apps/I find them tedious/stressful”, “I plan to move in the near future so what’s the point,” “I’ve gone on a couple dates recently but nothings stuck”) but now I think I understand that there’s more to it than that

I’m half a year away from turning 30. My sister was married with a baby by this point. So many of my current friends or my old friends from college are married or getting married, and so many of those who aren’t are still in long term relationships, moved in with their significant others and gotten a dog together

I don’t know if I really have a final point to this post other than that I think the closest label I’ve got at this point is potentially asexual grayromantic lesbian (boy what a mouthful). It’s nice I guess to understand more about myself, but it also adds to this feeling of dread that I’m never going to have what my friends and siblings have. That I’ll be a forever-third-wheel (or fifth, seventh, etc depending on the size of the group)

It makes me think of an analogy I use a lot for why I think having 2 kids or 4 kids is better than having 3 kids. If you go to an amusement park, it’s easier if you have an even number - because then everyone always has someone to sit with on the rides (I acknowledge that this analogy is very monogamous and it doesn’t really take polyamory into account, but it makes sense to me bc I’m monogamous). But what I’m worried about is that I’ll never have that person to ride with. That I’ll always be the extra person making the group an odd number

Any way that’s all definitely too much information, but I’ve been spiraling a bit as I try to come to terms with this and figure things out more decidedly. I probably should have just written this in a journal or seen a therapist or something (not that I can afford one), but there’s something nice about yelling it into the void and the void potentially saying something back, idk

If you did read this whole thing for some reason, thanks

#tldr; I think I might be fully asexual and coming to terms with that is definitely a journey #long and rambling post #if I remember to I’ll probably delete this later

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milkovski · 2 years

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ty @themilkoviches @shameless-notashamed @squidyyy23 for the tag and macy for creating the tag!!!

your name: wazo

your age: in my 20s.

your height in cm: 173? 172? i forget.

you’ve been invited to game night. you have to bring one drink, one snack, and one game. what do you show up with?: I guess diet coke ...?? if alcoholic then sangria. some kind of chips. and maybe uno??

last dream you remember: I think I dreamed that I checked tumblr this morning LOL. i usually have pretty crazy dreams or weirdly realistic ones but don’t remember them for long unless i write them down.

last book or fanfic you read: pretty sure it was Sweetpea. edit: wait it mightve been watching!

a song you can’t stop listening to: The Foundations of Decay of course :) my descent into mcr obsession was very fast. ive got a sideblog ive drawn art ive got a ticket to a show.

a tattoo you’d get right this second: such a tattoo does not exist. i have some kind of block abt piercings and tattoos. i spent literal years - more than a decade im sure - quibbling over it before i finally got lobe piercings last year. i’m pretty sure i’d die of old age before deciding on getting a tattoo. i have been really enamoured with finger tattoos recently though (not even bc of mickey like you’d expect - bc of frank)!

favorite season & why: fall maybe? for the qualities of the season itself. for vacation and holiday reasons, winter.

a place you’ve never been but want to visit: anywhere in europe. im not very well-travelled.

are you the eldest, middle, youngest, or only child in your family: youngest.

describe yourself in three (NICE) words: encouraging (...? in like a, i tell you ‘you should treat yourself!!!! you should do what you want!! you should take time off for your birthday!!!’ kind of way), self-indulgent (in a similar way, except for me lol), determined ...? (sometimes .................). im sorry sgdsfdsf i feel like this section should be confident!!

tagging @heymrspatel @metalheadmickey @mixkeymilkovich @iansfreckles @gallawitchxx :)

#tag #i mean just to be clear my name is not actually wazo #i grew up being told to be very wary of the internet and to value anonymity and its stuck #i think ive told like 3 online friends my real name but im not sure they remember it adfsdf

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smireyac · 1 year

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new year, same post

so... 2022 huh?

i didn't even write a reflection post last year (well i tried but i never finished writing it) which i'm kinda really sad about because i really like having these snapshots of where i am at in my life every year... and i feel like i'm missing a year! because i am! so while i can't do a whole reflection of 2021, i can do my best and that's the best anyone can do

so 2021 was the start, crawling out of the hellscape that was 2020... in terms of overall quality, 2021 was a major improvement from the previous year. to make things easier, first i'll go thru what i actually accomplished on my list of goals i made at the end of 2020:

☑️ read new books: my goal was 10 and i read 8, three of which were comics/graphic novels and one was a road trip guide book? so technically i read more than before

☑️ watch new shows/movies: i made a letterboxd to keep track of what i watched instead of the notebook idea i had and i watched 48 movies/tv shows !!! wowie that's pretty good i never counted that out b4 :D

☑️ listen to new music: my spotify wrapped had very much different music than previous years so i did the dang thing too ...it uh... got flooded by OM music cuz i had a phase in the summer but other than that its all pretty diverse !

☑️ eat new food: i had kbbq for the first time in 2021 so i think that counts?

☑️ go on a road trip/visit some place ive never been before/go to a club: so i planned a pretty spontaneous trip to LA cuz i saw an ad on Instagram for a city pop night at a club in DTLA... i thought it was a rare thing (turns out it ain't lol) so i got my friends to go and it was really fun and i knocked these 3 things out in one go (tho the road trip one is a little ehh bc we didn't make any stops, we just drove ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) bc i've never been to little tokyo and it was in a club! so check!!

so as far as goals go that's pretty good! other notable highlights of the year include:

⭐ i passed my drivers test (after failing the first time lol) and got a car that i love so dang much!

⭐ tried dating (the first time) and it didn't get far lol (that's on me)

⭐ karaoke night after not seeing people in person for over a year

⭐ played d&d in-person again finally

⭐ HELLA MEGA TOUR!! THAT WAS TIGHT AF 10/10 would recommend

⭐ saw lindsay and kaveh at a book signing event that was pretty cool !! (still have to read the book lol;;)

so yeah ! it was pretty great, all things considered... i think around this time last year covid cases were surging and things were feeling bad again so my perspective of the year was tainted by that cloud but looking back, i think i had a pretty good run...

i had made another, separate doc as a kinda goal list ? but i never finished it either lmao but i did put 3 things on it:

🌠 read more (surprise surprise)

🌠 write something

🌠 join a club at school

i said 2021 would be the year of new and i think i accomplished that

SO 2022 HUH??

thats what this whole thing was supposed to be about lol

lotta stuff happened... started off strong by getting covid (lol), went to big bear for the first time, technically saw snow (on the ground) for the first time, saw remi TWICE in ONE YEAR, tried dating again (still didn't get very far), saw ORI AGAIN FINALLY, hung out with pals A LOT, ate good food, got really (back) into comics this year??, worked full time at the library this summer, got over my stupid crush FINALLY, went to 3 conventions - 1 of which being COMIC CON... anD OH YEAH I GOT PROMOTED!! pretty accomplished i would say

as far as my goals from last year i actually accomplished something!! and hey 2 outta 3 ain't bad ;^)

i reached my reading goal with 13/12 !! granted 5 of them were graphic novels again but i stuck with my book club (kinda;;) and read some stuff!! i started a lot more books than i finished this year but i want to push myself harder next year (this year)!! my want-to-read list on GoodReads is 500+ and that hasn't even been updated recently!! i gotta step my game up man,, i think i decided i want to try to be an editor someday so i gotta go for it!!

did i write something this year??? in fact i fucking did!! i wrote fanfiction even!! something i srsly never thought i would actually accomplish... and i started a first real draft for J+M and got thru most of the first "season" of that!! so that's cool!! i wanna write more!! i found this writing tracker like halfway thru the year and was trying to add to it retroactively but it was hard so i don't know exactly how many words i wrote this year BUT it's more than 40k!! so WOW!! I'll keep better track this year so we can know fr fr

if 2021 was the year trying new things, 2022 seemed to be the year of getting used to the new normal bc surprise!! covid is still around!! but ig it'll be endemic now instead of a pandemic bc we couldn't fucking eradicate it 🙄 whatever...

the last couple months of 2022 kinda painted the whole year a somber color but looking back, i can see that i had a really good time for the most part... i hope 2023 will be nice :^)

SO... GOALS:

🎆 read more!! let's keep the ball rolling! 12 more!! once a month!!! and i'm not gonna add comics unless i've read a real book with words first!!!!

🎆 write more!! no goals let's just see what happens :^) i hope that maybe some fandom interaction will motivate me bc i love attention and praise!!! also my secret writing project 👀

🎆 apply to transfer to university next year!! this was supposed to happen this year but... shit happened yk

🎆 do stuff with friends!! gotta keep it up bb: NYC, hot springs, see snow, MKE??, LA

🎆 make new friends?? perhaps??? 👀 idk!!!

i will end this post with all the movies i'm super fucking pumped to see this year: M3GAN, the mario movie, the D&D movie, the BARBIE movie!!, new transformers movie??, blue beetle movie, SPIDERVERSE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

it'll be a good year for me for movies ❤️

here's to 2023!! 🥂

#omg i talk #happy new year

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loveyougoodbi · 3 years

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Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

@mscalifornication thank you for tagging me <333

MUSIC

fav genre? pop, rock, pop rock, classic rock, punk rock, pop punk, some hip hop, but ill listen to anything really (except what serbian new age “singers” are doing rn i stay as far away from that as possible)

fav artist? Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson

fav song? rn id say Vent’anni by Maneskin

most listened song recently? Vent’anni i think..

song currently stuck in your head? Good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo

5 fav lyrics?

All the lonely shadow dances From the cradle to the grave It's a solo song And it's only for the brave - Only The Brave - Louis Tomlinson

Tie a noose around your mind, loose enough to breathe fine and tie it To a tree, tell it, "You belong to me This ain't a noose, this is a leash And I have news for you, you must obey me"- Holding On To You - Twenty One Pilots.

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt - Champagne Problems - Taylor Swift

I am my mother's child, I'll love you 'til my breathing stops I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me - Writer in the dark - Lorde

We're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams We wake up early morning and they're still under the sheets - Too Young, Louis Tomlinson

This was so difficult it depends on my mood on half of those

BOOKS

fav book genre? angsty fan fic lol.. but yeah i like classics, sci fi and thrillers

fav writer? Jane Austen, but ive been the most fascinated by Dostoyevski so i can’t not mention him,

fav book? Pride & Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Veronica decides to die.

fav book series? Most of what ive read is for kids but my fav is His Dark Materials for sure!

comfort book? recently My Policeman before that Pride & Prejudice

perfect book to read on a rainy day? I don’t really reread books unless its pride and Prejudice lol

fav characters? Raskolnikov

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? Are you testing my knowledge on p&p right now? Let’s see I’m curious how much i know too..

In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings can’t be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in a possession of fortune must be in want of a wife.

I do have compassion for your nerves, they are my old friends.

Your mother will not see you again if you don’t marry Mr Collins and i will not see you again if you do.

and of course: She’s tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt me.

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? comedy, thriller, crime, drama

fav movie? Bohemian Rhapsody

comfort movie? Bohemian Rhapsody

movie you watch every year? idk ..

fav tv show? Mr Robot

comfort tv show? Schitts creek for sure. And sometimes the good place but mostly Schitts creek

most rewatched tv show? schitt’s creekand Brooklyn nine nine (technically its friends just bc its constantly on tv)

ultimate otp? Destiel forever

5 fav characters? Tommy Shelby, Dean Winchester, Eleanor Shellstrop, Nairobi, Jesse

All in all im very indecisive

I’m tagging @mamaharry, @nauticalfools, @hometothecanyonmoon, @sunshineandhazza, @halosanchor, @shevinyl, @harryandlouisarehappilystrong, @tanktop-lou, @foreverfanficaddict

#thanks for the tagg

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welcome-to-gaytown · 3 years

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answer all of the asks in your most recent ask game

Do you have freckles?

nope

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

i drink both :p

tea: always has a lot of sugar, sometimes black sometimes plain

coffee: same as my tea, a shit ton of sugar, sometimes black sometimes plain

What was the last song you listened to?

happy life, roland faunte

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

i sleep like how a dead person would be positioned in a coffin dhfskdhjk

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

nope, they make me claustrophobic when i get nightmares

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

i like both equally

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

What’s your favorite band/artist?

dont have one

When is your birthday?

april 6

How tall are you?

5'3

What color are your eyes?

brown but really really dark

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

i already did this one skfndjkd @/ddepressedbookworm @/lunaleonarah @/strawberry-cupcake @/im-fucking-bored-rn my dogs (they are people shut up)

Fears? being left behind, being abandoned (read: everyone i love leaving me)

What’s your favorite color?

dont have one

What’s your favorite season?

winter my beloved

Want any tattoos? What of?

i want a forearm sleeve on my right arm and on my left shoulder i was a daisy and lavender sprig tattooed together (something small and simple)

i want a bunch of flowers (roses, sunflowers, daisies, etc.) tattooed from my mid calf to my mid thigh

something small on my ankle too idk what yet

Want any piercings? Where?

er just a regular nostril piercing hdsjkfd also want a lip ring

Who is the last person you texted?

do dms count? bc in that case @strawberry-cupcake

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

i have two (i think??) and ive been friends with one of them for 4 years while the other one ive been talking to for a month or so? djskdjfld

What/who do you miss?

my mom from two years ago

How was your day today?

terrible

How much sleep did you get last night?

3 hours

Do you believe in aliens?

yep, the earth is small, the universe is ever expanding, bold of us to assume we are the only beings to exist

When was the last time you cried? Why?

around thirty minutes ago because of my mother

What’s your favorite decade?

idk

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

idk?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

the extraordinary adventures of alfred kropp by rick yancey

How are you, really?

not too well, mentally strained at the moment

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

sometimes

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

school, getting out of my house

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

moving out

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

idk somewhere far away

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

preferably closed but my mom thinks im going to kms at night so she makes me keep it open

What’s your favorite flower?

daisies

Do you currently have a squish?

a what now

Do you like your middle name?

my middle name is the name people call me and i dont really like it but it fits me

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

dont have a preference

Do you have any phobias?

no?

Do you stay up late?

its not me staying up late, its me not being able to sleep

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

i guess i do, and i dont have a preference with this either

What’s your favorite cartoon?

dont watch those

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

@ddepressedbookworm @im-fucking-bored-rn @cinnamonstickrayofsunlight @alfredo-king07 (even tho i hate him, he posts funny shit) @strawberry-cupcake

Do you have siblings? How many?

three other siblings

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

my sister

Is there anyone you would die for?

many

What do you need when you’re sad?

someone to hold me

Have you memorized your phone number?

dont have a phone

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

mostly people on here, but also my siblings

What does your last text say?

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

got any questions?

#asks #aces interactions #HKJDFHJKSDF #i did #splotchy tagging #dsfkdfh

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oysters-aint-for-me · 3 years

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tag 9 people you want to know better

tagged by @emberphantom i love you <3

favorite color: rainbow. that’s not a cop-out answer, btw. i very specifically like colors in rainbow order. roy g. biv and all that.

currently reading: a book about the history of chaos theory by james gleick, ulysses by james joyce (on audiobook; im not that smart), the house of the spirits by isabel allende, and a book about mosquitos by some guy, idk, the book isn’t next to me at the moment. recently i decided to stop trying to finish books before i started a new one because that just ended up with me not reading anything. it’s not normal for me to read four books at once but it’s more fun. also for another project i’ve been winding my way through a ton of fanfiction from fandoms i’m not in about content i’ve not consumed which is a hilarious and fascinating and sometimes perplexing and sometimes quite beautiful journey that i suggest you all try

last song: last song I heard was that one by journey that goes ANYWAY YOU WANT IT THATS THE WAY I NEED IT ANYWAY YOU WANT IT but the song i currently have stuck in my head is cotton by the mountain goats bc i guess i’m just that bitch

last series: this could be taken a couple of ways i gues...the most recent series that i watched a new-to-me episode of was schmigadoon! the most recent new-to-me series i completed was Loki. and the most recent series i watched an episode of was 30 rock. the most recent series i listened to (aka had on in the background) was parks and recreation. (i watch too much tv.)

last movie: i don’t really watch movies tbh. i watched the recording of much ado about nothing with david tennant and catherine tate a few weeks ago? i guess that was kind of a movie. and also i watched the last 20 minutes of jaws a little while ago (ive never seen jaws) but that was just because my dad was watching it. idk man movies are usually both too long and too short for me. too long for my attention span, too short for my desired level of character development.

sweet, savory, or spicy: sweet and SALTY. i hate spicy savory is okay i like sweet i love salty and i am a SLUT for salty-sweet

craving: i crave textures and i always have. right now i’m addicted to the texture of polymer clay. i will literally play with it to the detriment of other activities in my life lol it’s...a problem.

tea or coffee: coffee. preferably iced. with milk. or cream if i’m feeling indulgent. which honestly is most days.

currently working on: my mental health, writing/editing like four different fics god help me, collecting every single fact about kenneth parcel from 30 rock, screenshotting every single hat frank wears in 30 rock, editing always sunny episode transcripts so they are a) correct and b) include stage directions, my mental health, reading and taking notes on a lot of fics from a lot of fandoms to identify common trends among all fanfiction and also unique trends within specific fandoms/pairings, my mental health, reading those books i mentioned above, reorganizing folders on a shared drive at work, trying to play the piano and sing at the same time without making mistakes, organizing the photos i took at a wedding last week, daydreaming about other projects i want to work on, and my mental health. but mostly i just sit around thinking too much while hyperfixating on mixing different colors of clay together until they either look cool or turn grayish brown.

tagging… @bufordtannen @coralereef @fiveboy @thousandtinywaves i guess i know that’s not nine but whatever lol

#this was fun hha #sorry it took me forever to actually do it #lol

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mostlikelyshutup · 3 years

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thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

#harry potter #sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the philosopher's stone #hermione granger #ron weasley #k mumbles #fred weasley #george weasley #ginny weasley #hagrid #rubeus hagrid #albus dumbledore #long post #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin

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thepenpalhub · 3 years

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hi! im ellie (she/her), 19, bi and living in the uk! my hobbies are drawing, reading, hiking and painting!

im currently in uni but due to lockdown its been hard to make lasting connections with people and ive always wanted a pen pal bc i love writing letters, popping in some cute gifts and meeting people from different cultures and origins!

a bit abt me; im a beginner at japanese and i want to learn more languages, i love travelling, going hiking with my dog, being in the outdoors, mythology, folklore, reading, painting and art, poetry, fandoms, anime and 2d animation, movies (specifically horror and thrillers! but also sci fi and fantasy), i love the unknown, i like learning about cultures vastly different to mine as well as ancient ones.

im a big reader, a proper little bookworm and i love talking about books ive loved - some faves are; the binding, folk, black leopard red wolf, anything by neil gaiman, deeplight, harry potter, asoiaf ect. i like reading the classics, gothic lit, sci fi, fantasy and adventure! i also love reading fics bc arguably most fics are novel worthy

as for music i like here are a few artists; hozier, florence and the machine, taylor swdit (specifically folklore and evermore GOD those are good albums), zella daye, BTS, the wombats, red hot chilli peps and so on. genres i like are folk, alt, indie, kpop i guess soft rock? oh and recently ive been listening to a bunch of musicals - beetlejuice, heathers, hadestown, frankenstein, six (my wrap up said one of my main genres was show tunes and i was SO confused bc what the hell is a show tune)

i also LOVE movies and talking abt them!! i love the mcu and the dcu (but the dc films ://// the cartoons were good i guess), i like horror films similar to “us”, “ready or not” “blair witch” “vvitch” “midsommar” and “hereditary” - that kinda horror u know. i also love films from the 80s like lost boys, the alien franchise, goonies, heathers, beetlejuice !!! also any film set in space (i love space) and big fantasy films like lotr and the hobbit

i also love 2d animation and anime!! any ghibli film is gold, boku no hero, haikyuu, demon slayer, bungou stray dogs, a promised neverland ect ect! i also like kdramas especially if they are fantasy or horror based!! i also play alot of video games like assassins creed, rdr2, tlou, hades, botw, god of war

one of my fave things to talk abt, tho, is mythology, folklore and ancient history. greek, babylonian, aztec, inca, irish, scottish, slavic - i LOVE learning about all of these and talking about them. percy jackson was what i was raised on so i 100% blame that and also im bi so i suppose i should have expected it. i also love true crime podcasts and cryptid/conspiracy theory podcasts!! lets talk about them!!

if u want to exchange snail mail, let me know at @chububba !! or if u ever wanna just chat online - thats good too! im interested in anyone and everyone, from whatever background or culture and id love to learn about where you are from and your own culture. thanks for reading!

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mrfutureboy · 3 years

Note

I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊

Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3

Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂

Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.

Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓

Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.

So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)

(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)

I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)

Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)

So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr

#rovermcfly #signed sealed delivered #THANK U SM I HOPE U ENJOY KY RAMBLING :)#id love to ramble more if theres anything else u’d like to hear about my art journey :) bc i know this is all over the place lmfao #i will say some periods of life were a bit more inspired than others and thats bc i like will not draw if im too stressed #bc likely if im too stressed im too tired. see: a few weeks ago when that job was draining my life force

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raappana · 3 years

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oh no i forgot sry @starlightonthemoon tagged me like Months ago

1. Nickname: I mean technically Meta is a diminutive of Margareta so I guess my normal name is my nickname? but other than that I don't have any

2. Zodiac: uhh Sagittarius in the Greek zodiac, Fire Ox in Chinese, Vṛścika (Scorpio) in the Hindu sidereal zodiac, idk are there any more? i have no belief in the idea that it Matters but i find it fun to know in many zodiacs

3. Height: 165cm, which im Pretty sure is 5'5″?

4. Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff, but that is the extent to which i will engage with that fandom

5. Last thing I googled: '165cm in feet and inches'. but previous to starting on this post, 'koronaregler oslo' (covid rules oslo) bc i had to check if restaurants are still takeaway only or if i could go eat out somewhere for Constitution Day

6. Song stuck in my mind: Furret Walk / Accumula Town from Pokémon Black&White. it's v upbeat and catchy

7. Number of followers: 247, but the Vast majority are either porn bots or mutuals who went inactive years ago

8. Amount of sleep: around eight-nine hours usually, but recently ive been going to bed Very late and still waking up at noon at the latest so.less

9. Lucky number: Well my favourite number is 17, but I wouldn't call it a lucky number? that's the closest ive got tho

10. Dream job: eccentric professor of linguistics slash lesbian trophy wife

11. Wearing: my one remaining dress that isn't in the laundry, it's very handy because its comfy and simple enough to wear at home but also "proper" and cute enough to wear outside so i dont have to change between outfits much

12. Favourite song: Tir n'a Noir by the Norwegian folk band Vamp

13. Favourite instrument: hhhh i cant Choose???? french horn was the first thing i learned so i have Lots of nostalgic affection for it, but piano ive stuck with for longer, but then organ music has so much cool music nerd shit to love, i just. im gonna say all three of those yea thats allowed i make the rules french horn, piano, and church organ

14. Aesthetic: flea market dresses. thats it thats my entire aesthetic

15. Favourite authors: i mean Emmi literally is the one who tagged me in this and she's super cool and her book is one of the best books ive read, but then i also gotta mention Tamsyn Muir, Brandon Sanderson, and Cixin Liu bc i Love mysteries in worldbuilding and they all did Amazing jobs making me Invested in figuring out how their worlds work before the reveals. and also Emmi and Muir's books are gay which is always a plus

16. Favourite animal sounds: That little almost-meow when my cat want our attention but doesn't feel strongly enough about it to make a Proper noise, she just makes a small "mow" sound to let us know she's there

17. A random fact about me: my most notes on a tumblr post was on december 15, 2016, when after hearing episode 100 of Welcome to Night Vale i made a post about wanting a spinoff show where Michelle and Maureen set up a rival station to Cecil's bc i love them and wanted to hear more of them; it got 47 notes and Kate Jones (Michelle's VA) replied to it saying she was on board!! truly my proudest fandom moment. anyways then i fell out of listening within like six months after and i mean i wouldnt have known if it did happen but as far as i know it never did. i miss night vale i should relisten some time

as shown by the fact it took me three months to do this i do not put Any pressure on this tagging, but i tag: @svtboo @miriagreyhaven @emmanent, if ya'll want to!

#tag game #yes the apostrophe in ya'll is intentional

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aloera · 3 years

Note

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise #asks #anon #a(lore)a

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blahblahwritings · 4 years

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Contracts and Captains. - IV

A/N: Remember how I posted something before one of my other fics saying that I had been consistently updating for weeks? Neither do I lmao who was she? Don’t know her anyway heres the fourth chapter of this black sails fic.

Words: 1823. Honestly I’ve been writing this since about 12pm I don’t know how its so short and its probably shit bc I haven’t written anything in months.

Warnings: Mentions of vomit as per the last chapter. Think thats it lmao. See you in three months.

As your eyes opened, there were a blissful couple of seconds where the previous night’s encounter didn’t exist in your memory. But, just like the sun flooding the room, unwanted flashes of vomit and slurred words rose like a tidal wave in your minds eye. You rolled over, burying your face and groaning into the pillow out of sheer embarrassment as a dull throbbing started in the depths of your skull.

Why did you keep drinking? You could’ve simply had one or two before retiring for the night and you wouldn’t have met that boatswain or thrown up on your own boots. What was his name again? Ben? Boyd? No, they weren’t quite right. Either way you made a mental note to apologise again whenever you next saw him.

Slowly, you tugged your still clothed limbs from the thin sheets, trying not to jostle your stomach too much for fear of whatever was left in there making an unwelcome appearance. Your pants were scuffed from where you took a tumble outside the tavern, your shirt was half undone, probably from a failed attempt to undress before not-so-gracefully falling into bed. A single boot was thrown on the floor alongside your coat, the other still stuck on your foot. What a mess.

A hot bath, that's what you needed, and a hearty breakfast if your insides don’t bring it back up. Pulling on the other boot, you made your way to one of the girls working downstairs, trading her coin to fill the tub in your room. You must’ve looked rough as you passed her to get to the man at the bar because when he turned to look at you, his brows shot up, disappearing behind his hair.

“You look like you could use a little hair of the dog, love.” He chuckled, eyes scanning your disheveled form. A grimace was your immediate response. “Some food then.” He offered, filling a bowl with something that you didn’t stop to look at as you practically inhaled it. The man watched you with a knowing smirk and had you not felt so terrible you’d have spat out a snarky comment. You chose to gulp down your water instead.

“Thank you.” You huffed with a small nod, tossing some money on the counter before you headed back upstairs. The state you were in just added to this morning's growing list of regrets but you weren’t quite sure if you cared how you looked to anyone else right now. All that was on your mind was a piercing headache and a good soak.

Stripping off, you stepped into the water, sinking down slowly as your body got used to the heat. Finally, with a heavy sigh, you rested your head on the back of the tub, your aching muscles beginning to relax. Scented oils and soaps were left on a stand by the bath. Working a generous amount between your palms, you massaged your limbs and torso getting rid of any tension and purging the memories of last night’s… festivities. In the quiet of your room, you took a moment to trace the small scars that littered your form, fingers landing at last on the freshly healed knife wound from only a few weeks ago. The soft pink flesh was still tender, and if you moved the wrong way it would ache. It was dangerous to be alone on this island, in this line of work. You needed friends, not just contacts. A crew, perhaps.

Letting your mind wander, you thought about your new found place among Flint’s men. You had to keep bringing in leads to be of any value to him, lest you risk being tossed aside and left in the dirt. He and his crew were among the most revered on the island, therefore cementing your part in that would bring security. It would ensure that other crews would leave you alone, as you were important to someone they feared and the consequences of harming you could be severe.

Then again, there was a little more than security on your list of perks as you thought more about the taller man from last night. He was kind to you, not that the others weren’t having bought your drinks and all, but, he made sure you were safe and fed. Billy Bones. You recalled. Replaying the meeting in your head, you winced at the slurred introduction and the puking soon after. Why did you care about how he saw you? Was it because he was the crew’s boatswain or because he was handsome and softer than most pirates you’d met.

Catching that last thought, you shook it from your head, refusing to let it take root in your brain. Attachments like that are a weakness here and you cannot afford to have those. You’d only met the guy once and he probably didn’t want anything to do with you anyway, especially after that drunken show you gave him. Cupping a handful of water, you splashed your face, scrubbing any further thoughts of the man from your head, instead, choosing to focus on finding a new lead for Flint.

They would be leaving to chase down the details you gave him yesterday in a couple of days, if not sooner, which meant you probably had around two weeks to find something of substance upon their return. You’d struggled last time but after sending out letters to old friends in neighbouring ports, you were hopeful something would turn up.

Padding your way to the dresser, you pulled out some fresh clothes and got ready, feeling much better than you did even an hour before. The food had settled your stomach and the water you guzzled seemed to bring some life back into your face as when you left to go hunt down some work, the barman from earlier spouted something along the lines of ‘A whole other woman’ when you walked by.

---

An uneventful morning led to an uneventful afternoon. There were no new letters or leads and the streets were pleasantly calm compared to usual. You certainly weren’t complaining, you had been feeling better since this morning but your body was still recovering. The easy day was probably just what you needed. You were sat on the beach, sipping some water and watching passersby as you sketched in the journal you kept.

It was something you’d taken to keeping since arriving in Nassau just over two years ago. A small leather book to help keep track of potential jobs and record anything interesting that happened. Really, though, you just loved to draw. You’d already filled a couple just like it with sketches of people, ships and landscapes that caught your eye, often accompanied by your messy scrawl. You were just about satisfied with your latest addition when Mr Gates clapped you on the shoulder making you jump and slam the journal closed. You’d never shown anyone the contents before.

“Sorry, Miss Devereux, didn’t mean to startle you.” He began, chuckling lightly at your reaction. “I heard you and the lads had quite the night..” He moved to stand by you as you got to your feet, dusting the sand from your pants. Tucking away the book, an amused smirk finds its way to your face as you look at him.

“Depends on who you ask.” You replied. “How were they this morning? Feeling sorry for themselves?” Your brows raised in question as you both started aimlessly wandering along the shore. A snort met your ears as his head fell forwards, looking at the ground then back at you. “I didn’t see the majority of them until at least noon and they were still in a sorry state, although I wonder how you must’ve been. I heard that you hurled your guts up right after meeting our boatswain.” Gates mused, eyes crinkling as he watched your entire face turn a lovely shade of red. You tried to keep your cool but your expression faltered into one of sheer embarrassment. Apparently, this was hilarious as Mr Gates exploded into a fit of hearty laughter, and as much as you told him to stop you couldn’t help but have a good chuckle yourself as you covered your face with a half-sandy palm at the thought.

When you both regain your composure, he gives you a reassuring pat on the back.

“Don’t worry, the only people who know are Billy and myself, the men still think you can hold your drink.” He winked. You made a move to argue that you could in fact hold your drink but he began talking about the plan to set sail the day after tomorrow. You listened intently and explained that you were awaiting correspondence from friends in other ports to supply more promising leads upon their return.

---

It had been four days since the crew left in search of another haul using your most recent information. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened, you’d made some money here and there through smaller jobs and pickpocketing but overall, there was nothing of real interest. You spent the days reading anything you could get your hands on or drawing and you’d even had your eye on some paints in one of the markets, but all you could do was wait. Checking for mail at the front desk of the inn you were staying at every morning had become a routine, desperate for any work or ships that you could relay to Flint. It was on the fifth day that you had gotten a response from someone in Port Royal.

As you read over the letter for the third time, you could feel your eyes widen in disbelief, your heart hammered in your chest and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This was far too good to be true. Surely this was a myth. A prize of this magnitude was simply unheard of. Your eyes scanned over the paper again, barely able to focus on the words because your hands were trembling so violently. Calm down. You told yourself. It can’t be the truth. You thought as you stared at the other envelope that had arrived alongside it. At the bottom of the letter it read:

“P.S

Should you doubt my information, I sent you the correspondence shared between the dead man and the merchant with evidence pertaining to this gold. Best not ask how it came into my possession.

Your dear friend,

Josiah.”

You ran to shut the windows to your room and close the drapes. If anyone found out you had this information and the evidence to go with it, you would surely be killed for it. Tearing open the paper, you unfolded its contents. It was all here. The initials of the merchant, R.P., details alluding to the existence of this gold and the name of the dead man involved in plotting the course it would be on.

Vasquez.

#Black Sails #black sails imagine #Billy Bones #billy bones x reader #multi chapter #Captain Flint #mr gates

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skittles1229 · 3 years

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Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They�� knew me better then i know myself.

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time.

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't. Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald.

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters.

i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night.

i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way.

before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

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