#jack horner is a real person

[ask-emoripals]

Who are everyone's celebrity crushes?

🎹: None of us give a shit about celebrities, let alone crushing on them. Besides that, Hero is far more adorable than any celebrity…… combined.

🔪: Agreed with sis, celebrities are lame. None of us like those people.

🦖: Paleontologists, on the other hand! I love them… except for FUCKING Jack Horner! >:(

🪴: Dafuq… Jack Horner from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish!?!!

⭐️: She meant the real life, paleontologist one… the one that said that T rexes are exclusively scavengers. Also language Kimmy! :(

[araminakilla]

Regarding Death Wolf...

Hear me out (NO, it's not the kind you are thinking)

We know Death has a job, right? To collect souls and most likely release them to the afterlife.

And for this job, he has to be there when somebody is about to die, as demostrated with him being there moments before Puss' eight death.

Supposing he is THE Death and he has been doing this since the beginning of time (or at least when there were enough stories of the Grim Reaper to adquire a physical form) that means he has seen a lot, A LOT of awful things.

Murders, suicides, massacres, death of infants, people who didn't deserve to die alone, animal cruelty, some other heavy stuff I won't mention here, etc etc etc.

And we thought "man, how is he able to cope with all of that? That job has to be utter torture for someone."

Probably many of you could think that he is able to do that because he is Death, and he was "born" with that purpose and only him can reap souls perfectly.

But while he is a force of nature, he also WAS a force of nature. Let me explain it well: He adquired a personality enough to be angry, excited, frustrated, amazed, happy, among other emotions.

While he has supernatural power and is most likely the most powerful being in the Shrek Franchise (or in Dreamworks as many say) he is also a PERSON.

Someone with a code of honor, morals, opinions, beliefs, etc.

Returning to the question "How can he bear all of that?" taking into account he is no longer an inevitable force, but a character of his own.

The answer is something you may relate to, and that is: Creativity and escapism.

To be the embodiment of Death, the guy is a very creative fella.

First of all, his design. I heard many people saying here and in Twitter that his design is something they would come up in their edgy, teen years of drawing their first fursona.

Guess what? They are right, the wolf form is someone's fursona. It's DEATH'S fursona. He clearly came up with this badass, piercing canine form to blend with the Fairy Tale Land assuming the form of the "Big Bad Wolf". He most likely had other forms he designed over the centuries and was able to present as them like if he were on a role play game in the living world.

His sickles? The weapon of choice with the little crossed cats on it to have a bigger effect of terror for Puss? Those who can become knuckles and join to create a scythe? Those are his creation, probably after thinking it for a while and writing all of those functions on a paper.

The way he presents himself? In the bar? The coins in his eyes as a "watching you" sign while being a cool reference to the Ferryman of souls? He transforming Perrito's forest into the background of a skull? The chilling reveal at the Cave of Lost Souls? The fire ring? It was all him.

As for the escapism part...

When the world becomes too heavy to deal with as real life issues tend to make us feel bad, depressed, angry... we tend to escape it somewhere. And in our time the common place would be the internet as in webpages or comics, stories, etc.

But what has to do with Death Wolf you may ask?

Well, while he would NEVER be able to escape his job entirely, he can have moments where he can enjoy a good hunt of people who don't appreciate life, like the whole plot of the Puss in Boots sequel could demostrate.

He managed to have a little time outside his eternal routine to chase an arrogant cat who took life for granted. He enjoyed it, it was thrilling, it was exciting.

It was a way to escape a monotonous, grim "life", if just for a short moment.

So, when the chase ended as his prey no longer feared him and now was ready to fight for his last life, the wolf retreats, happy for Puss' character development but resigned because he once again had to return to "The Eternal Duty"

And that's not even counting all the times Jack "I'm dead inside" Horner had to interrupt Lobo's hunt and remind him of his job even in his "spare time"

Death knew the chase had to end eventually, but he didn't want it to end.

He didn't want to return to his own world

And if we look at Death like that, then he is probably one of the most relatable characters Dreamworks has ever make.

In the Shrek Franchise:

Monsters can be loved

Princesses don't have to fit the perfect standards of beauty

Handsome guys can be possesive jerks

Love at first sight doesn't work like one would think

Happily ever afters had to be built and not just obtain them with magic

And Death is the most creative and "full of life" being in the world

Because he would absolutely go crazy with his life/work if he wasn't.

Because in a world of Kings, Poets and Soldiers, he's the Supreme King

And he's also a perky goth but none of you are ready for that conversation.

[legends-on-legends]

the "classic" villain

some ppl try to defend totk ganondorf’s one-dimensional characterization by arguing that he’s meant to be a “pure evil”, “classic” villain. now, personally, i’m not entirely opposed to having ganondorf just be an unhinged evil guy – in my opinion, part of what makes him great is the fact that he can do it all, he can be the tragic fallen hero, the sympathetic anti-villain, the remorseful old man who can’t give up the ghost of his ambitions, and also the magnificent bastard who enjoys terrorizing hyrule bc they kinda had it coming, let’s be real here. pure evil villains are fun, that’s why i love sukuna from jujutsu kaisen, he’s just an absolute unapologetic menace.

but the thing about “pure evil” or “classic” villains is that they still have to make sense. take, for instance, big jack horner from puss in boots: the last wish, a character who some have smugly pointed to as an example of a “real villain” that’s supposedly rare nowadays. the main point of jack horner is that he’s an asshole, a real piece of shit who’s uninterested in redemption or helping others, despite the best efforts of his jiminy-cricket inspired companion. jack horner is fun and adds some variety to a film that also has a sympathetic antagonist who experiences growth (goldilocks) and a force-of-nature antagonist who steals the show (death). but jack horner still makes sense; he’s an over-privileged man-child who wanted for nothing and therefore feels entitled to everything, and he’s also spiteful bc pinocchio upstaged him that one time, leading to his vendetta against fairy tale creatures.

same goes for every other classic villain that people like, whether it’s the old-school disney villains or the bad guys from classic cartoons. pure evil villains still have to be coherent and understandable in some way. that doesn’t mean their reasons have to be good – in fact, i think pure evil villains are defined by NOT having good reasons to justify their actions. but they still need to have reasons.

but totk ganondorf? this dude makes no damn sense. why does the king of the gerudo, out of all people, become king of demons? it might as well have been the king of gorons or zora or rito who turned evil. why did the gerudo support his conquest of hyrule only to turn against him once he transformed into the demon king? where did he get his powers from? how and why did ganondorf, of all people, reach the conclusion that hyrule must be bathed in eternal darkness, and why is he so dedicated to this goal that he’s willing to sacrifice his own mind and body to achieve it? what, exactly, is driving this man? you can’t call him selfish because again, he’s willing to permanently damage himself to attain his goals, that shows he’s bound to a higher cause. but there’s no explanation for why he, of all people, has chosen this particular cause.

and sure, the fandom can speculate and try to use the lore to fill in the gaps, but the fact that there are such big gaps in the first place is totk’s biggest failure, in my opinion. if people have to look at lore guides to make sense of your villain, then you’ve failed as a storyteller.

totk ganondorf might have made more sense as a monster that spawned from the Depths rather than a man who was born among the gerudo. maybe the zonai dug around too deep and activated the Depths’ defense mechanism, and boom, ganon emerges, furious at the surface world that has dared to intrude upon his domain, and determined to return the favor by covering the land of light with darkness. he’s still a monster who must be defeated but at least there would have been some logic to his actions.

[fanfic-inator795]

Spoilers for Puss in Boots: Last Wish (specifically Perrito) below

My bff and I were talking about this last night, but I figured I’d write it all out here: one thing I really do appreciate about Perrito is that while other characters may see him as naive and innocent, the film never treats him as overly naive or foolish.

The best example of this is when he’s explaining his backstory. It would have been SO easy to have him be still searching for his family/litter mates, believing firmly that they still wanted him/were still playing ‘hide and seek’. If they’d done this, then Perrito really would have been an extremely naive character (as well as all the more unnecessarily tragic). It also would have been easy to have this be Perrito’s wish, as well as the lesson that he needed to learn - that he doesn’t need his former (and incredibly crappy) fam, and that he can/should move on from his tragic backstory, letting himself be with his new friends instead.

But the film doesn’t go this route... Because Perrito has already realized and internalized this lesson.

Think about it. For as much as he may seemingly still see the whole ‘swim in the river’ incident as an extra challenge to a game of Hide ‘n Seek, outside of the “Guess I’m still It!” joke, Perrito doesn’t dwell on the fact that he never saw his family again. Just as he never dwells on nearly drowning. He only brings up his past when others ask him about it, otherwise he’s only focus on the present - which is why he’s so satisfied with things to the point of not needing a wish.

When it comes to his backstory, he instead just sees the brighter side of things regarding it (getting a new ‘sweater’ that he was able to grow into) and focuses on moving forward and meeting new friends, instead of going on an endless search for those who left him behind. Even while he’s at Mama Luna’s, he still tries to socialize with the other cats - though he backs off when they hiss at them, still understanding that he isn’t exactly well-liked there.

What’s more, it’s made VERY clear that Perrito’s tendency to trust in people without hesitation is not out of naivete: it is out of choice. He knows that people can be cruel (we see him briefly get scared of Jack Horner and the Bears when he gets kidnapped, even if he ends up making friends with the latter) and he knows that he can’t exactly fight back against that, being such a tiny dog. But he’d still rather give people a chance instead of just hiding away from the world. He never tries to claim that every person has some good in them or anything like that, he simply states “well, you have to trust somebody”.

What really drives this point home - aside from the excellent advice that Perrito gives throughout the film, showing just how thoughtful and wise he is, even when he seems totally clueless in other moments - is his moment in the film’s climax with Jack, where he’s finally able to do the cutesy eyes. The joke is how Jack is ‘dead inside’ and would never fall for such a ploy, and how Perrito is (or rather, would be) dumb for thinking that simply being cute would stop this heartless bastard.

But the twist is that Perrito already knows this. There isn’t a moment where it’s shown that he thinks this act will work. No, Perrito meant it as a distraction the entire time - he wanted to try and help, and he trusted his friends to catch on and take the shot once the distraction worked. And I freaking LOVE THAT! I love that Perrito is so much more than just ‘diet Donkey’ or ‘innocent and naive dog that doesn’t know how the real world works’.

He knows how it works, he just chooses to still see the bright side in things in order to improve others’ lives as well as his own, because there’s a difference between naively trusting people who haven’t proven themselves and just giving people a genuine chance to be your ally/friend. And I’m just so happy that Dreamworks not only made a character like this but just did a fantastic job writing him.

[roz-ani]

One issue I don't quite get and want to briefly comment on is the idea that Alastor has to be either an old-school villain who's just evil for the sake of being evil, or more of an antagonist with actual depth, emotions, and traumatic backstory to explain his actions, letting the audience relate to him. I think we're going to extremes here. We don't have to go, "Oh, I understand why he would do that". The main goal is for us to say, "Oh, so that's his deal".

While we don't know exactly what Alstor's deal is, what the exact terms of his contract are etc., he is, without a doubt, the most complex character in the show. He's in a unique position since he technically helps Charlie achieve her goal, but it's obvious he's in it for selfish reasons, with some grander scheme going on behind the scenes. May he eventually be the one the main cast will have to fight at some point? Sure. Would it be even more fun because he is a part of the said cast? Absolutely.

Let's get one thing straight: Alastor is evil. He's in Hell for a good reason. He's a cannibal and a serial killer. And I know we can absolutely forgive characters for doing the absolute worst, but he is not a good person. And yes, you can like (and simp for) evil characters. (If you think being a fan of intriguing fictional creations makes you a terrible person, you need to get off twitter and tiktok to actually interact with real people.) At the same time, the finale of season 1 simply made it clear that Al does have depth, and that he's going to be a three-dimensional character. Not that his actions are going to be suddenly justified.

But why can't we explore evil characters while enjoying them and letting them be evil? We can. Alastor started his carnage in Hell before making his deal, so it's not the main reason behind his less-than-questionable actions. For now, he's looking for freedom so he can (re)gain power and be in control again. At the same time, he is growing attached to the other characters. I highly doubt he'll be redeemed; we'll just learn more about him, his backstory, and his goals.

Can you even call Al an antagonist? If you ask me, he's more of an anti-hero. Heck, do we know who he is? Not really, and that's the point. He's one of the main characters, but he makes himself separate in both the story and the writing. He's a wild card.

We don't know what's coming for the Radio Demon in season 2. The first one established that there's more to him and that he started growing fond of the other characters, while the finale made Al realise it almost got him killed. He was humiliated and it reminded him even more that he's still under someone else's control. At least, that's how I see it. Alastor may become more sinister as the story progresses, and as he's getting more and more desperate to free himself of the contract. AT THE SAME TIME, he did come back to the Hotel with a smile and consent for a group hug, so it's not like he's going to blow it up in the first episode. He's not against the Hotel itself. He's doing his own thing, knowing that the titular establishment is an inherent part of his story. All paths lead to the Hazbin Hotel. My guess is that he will simply become more active.

Alastor is already a three-dimensional character; there is no doubt about that. But it's not like he's getting reckoned here. I don't really understand where this notion of our Radio Demon being an old-school villain came from in the first place. He's always been a mystery. Okay, maybe in the pilot it was not so clear-cut, and I'll admit, it would be fun to just see the Radio Demon as a powerful entity overlooking the hotel for his own pleasure. Turning him into a villain later on? Meh, depends on what would happen in the story if that were the case. Watching Jack Horner in "Puss in Boots", reminded me how much I missed villains that were not an initial antagonist's evil-incarnate-superior. However, it was quite quickly established that there is more to Alastor. He would have to appear pretty rarely to not go through any character arc in a show with such an ambitious storyline as Hazbin Hotel (and what a delightful character would we lose if that was the direction the writing team would have taken?). I would mention the pacing actually harming that development, but it's clear this is the show's biggest problem, and we just have to take things for granted.

If anything, Alastor is being restrained from being purely evil. To me, he's a combination of both of the character types I mentioned at the beginning, leaning more toward the well-developed anti-hero. Just let evil characters be evil and three-dimensional. 

[velvet-vox]

My Top 10 Favourite Male Villains of all time.

"How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything but irrelevant". -John Greer, Person of Interest (2011-2016).

There comes a moment in a blog's life where some things are just long overdue, and while the argument could be made that this happened way too early, I'd say that as long as this helps me to find my groove, I am free to experiment as much as I want.

So..... Villains.

Gotta love them. As long as I do not meet them in real life. This post is in particular about male villains since I have one dedicated to their female counterparts in the pipeline so expect that to come soon enough and for this part to be rewritten. By the way, "villain" is a generalisation, I can totally put antivillains, antagonists or more general antiheroes in this list; your definition of "Bad Guy" can vary greatly and so can mine, someone like Walter White from Breaking Bad could have made it in here. My taste is very unusual, so prepare yourself for some unexpected picks.

Also, since these are meant to be some big celebratory posts, for the occasion I'll reveal my Italian heritage and translate every line of dialogue in Italian and publish it separately with a link, so that English readers who are learning Italian can exercise.

But first, some honourable mentions:

Oropo (Wakfu): Once you see the number 2 spot for both this list and the female villains list you might notice that I tend to gravitate towards characters with wasted potential more often than not, but while we're just talking about this guy, I cannot stress enough the amount of unceremonious mishandling that lies within his concepts and execution. Really needed two seasons of 25 episodes each to explore it to their maximum.

Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda): I love him, but not as much as others, it's a matter of personal preference. He's an amazing antagonist, so even if he is just an honourable mention, I wouldn't call him a lesser villain by any stretch of the imagination; I once felt like he was too sympathetic for his movie's sake, but looking back at it again, he's actually moderately evil for a lot of reasons, even if Shifu is the main one.

Bill Chyper (Gravity Falls): It's been way too long since I watched Gravity Falls, I really can't give you an accurate opinion on this guy anymore.

Flintheart Glomgold (DuckTales 2017): That season 2 episode. If you know what I'm talking about, you KNOW. Also the music for that whole sequence was a banger, really driving home the deranged nature of that twist reveal.

Big Jack Horner (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): I feel like when people praise Jack for being a breath of fresh air in a stale environment, they often forget just how good of a villain he was in his own right without the larger industry wide void of truly devious antagonists that act out of pure malice.

The Wolf (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): Two villain entries from one movie? Of course it was gonna be The Last Wish, what else could it be? Honestly I don't even wanna talk about this guy, you need to experience the movie for yourself.

Rob (The Amazing World of Gumball): Everything I have to say about this guy gets talked about much better by the number 6 Spot on this list, but as it stands Rob was my first villain OTP and the guy who opened the box of Pandora for me on what an antagonist could and should be, since then my perception of villainy only widened and now I enjoy their role in a story in much different way.

And now, with that out of the way, let's finally start with the ranking of my personal favourite male villains of all time.

Major spoilers down below:

Number 10: Silco (Arcane)

This guy is the reason that brought me to specify who or what counted for this list as trying to simplify Silco into one specific group of characters is a challenge that can only end in a misunderstanding of what makes Silco such a complex and fascinating character with an amazing character arc, that ends with him not being redeemed, mind you, but allows the audience to grieve in such a way that would make a side character death jealous.

When writing an antagonistic character, Silco is my goal and high standard, and just for that he deserves all of my respect and endless praise.

Now, admittedly, Silco's arc takes a while to kick in, but it works out to his advantage by the end of it since you don't realise just how much you've grown to care for him until he's dead and you're left with the surprise.

10 out 10, the nation of Zaun would have been much better (worse) with him than with Vander.

Number 9: The Riddler (DC)

The Riddler is literally my ride or die villain, when I'm in the mood for him, he's literally my favourite antagonist ever; when I am not in the mood for him, I completely forget about his existence.

When compared to many other entries on this list, Riddler is definitely more on the pop culture side of antagonism, and when you've been around for almost a century, you tend to have many different versions of the same character written by different writers, so I wanted to highlight here my favourite versions of him:

Arkham Games: He's hilarious. He's not my ideal Riddler, but whenever he comes on screen, his whiny rat's ass voice stimulates my pheromones.

Batman The Animated Series: I've heard somewhere that this version of him is disappointing, and to that I'll say... yeah, but only when he wasn't on screen, because otherwise, he kind of slayed.

Matt Reeves The Batman: This is the version that rekindled my love for him after so long. Out of every interpretation of The Riddler throughout the years, this is the one version that treated Edward more as a character rather than an obstacle for Batman to overcome, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

LEGO Batman The Videogame: My very first introduction to The Riddler and the Batman universe as a whole, this version has a permanent place in my heart , I love how much information and emotion you can get out of him by just looking at his mannerisms and quirks alone; unironically, being silent helps him reach that quote on quote idealised version of Riddler that I was talking about earlier.

Number 8: The Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

There are many things that can carry on a villain in a story, their evolution, stage presence, complexity, thematic contrast to their counterpart, and so on and so forth. While an antagonist can check off many of these boxes simultaneously (like the one pictured), there's one box that is almost impossible to truly nail perfectly: comedy.

You see, comedy is subjective, and when your main antagonist is also the funniest part of a given story, it becomes hard to also match a sense of gravity and menace that allows them to also be an imposing threat, even harder is to give said antagonist depth and a tragic backstory.

But somehow, out of nowhere, The Snatcher from A Hat In Time manages to simultaneously be the funniest character in his section of the game, carrie said energy throughout the whole experience even down to the DLC, simultaneously strikes the balance between being scary, wholesome, sympathetic and tragic, exude an insane amount of charisma, all while having a deeply disturbing backstory that touches on some heavy themes and re contextualises his actions into something more complicated and out of a broken man, everything I just said + he's the biggest bastard in his videogame and never repents nor does he have his actions called out.

Snatcher really has all the right cards that make a stationary character work and uses them to his maximum potential, and it works because his character arc throughout the game is more about becoming affectionate to Hat Kid than it is about redeeming himself.

Lastly, his voice actor, Luke Sizemore, aka Yungtown, really sells the performance of this devious soul eating worm and burns his catchphrases into your brain for the rest of eternity, much like his boss theme,

Your Contract Has Expired

A song that switches around being scary, epic, energetic and desperate in a short, yet perfectly paced amount of time. You need to listen to it regardless of if you've played the game or not.

Fool.

Number 7: Judge Claude Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

You can never say no to a classic.

There's nothing that I could say that hasn't already been said by thousands of videos on YouTube, but I'll try anyway: you see, Frollo is the reason why we need a new term to identify certain villains that aren't "sympathetic" but still make you feel some sort of human emotion and a form of "I wish someone could give you the care you need to fix your life", I guess the term empathetic exists, but when do you really see it used?

Now, don't get me wrong, Frollo is absolutely not sympathetic in the slightest, he wants to r##e a Romani woman that's way younger than him, but you can still feel that he's very troubled about it in the Hellfire scene and has definitely a lot of unidentified issues and internalised bigotry that could be worked through, even if it's too late to work through them right now.

In general, I feel like people forget that the main reason why past Disney villains worked had to do more with their human traits juxtaposed to their malice rather than just their plain wickedness, otherwise the Horned King from the Black Cauldron would be top of the Disney villains league and that couldn't be further from the truth.

We should really strive towards writing more villains like Frollo, less omnipotent beings that end up falling flat because they don't have much thematic relevance aside from being a threat (Bill Chyper works because he represents Ego and he's used sparingly) and more average vicious individuals who use their power and influence to get what they want.

All in all, if you've seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame, then you know why this guy is here, but just to cite a couple of repeated points, the Hellfire scene is perfect. It's immaculate. It's unreproducible; there will never be another scene like this coming out of the House of Mouse or animation ever again, the excessive amount of stars and elements that came together to create this gothic classic is so vast that it's literally a miracle.

Frollo is truly the personification of the dark, twisted side of humanity peaking through the door and into your mind, from which he shall never escape as his performance still remains perfect to this very day.

Number 6: The Spot (Spider-man across the Spiderverse)

"You've hit me with a bagel!" It's still the greatest villain origin story of all time. There's truly something maniacal about this reveal, like the entire universe was shattered and reality was shocked at the mere realization that while Miles was having his coming of age moment back in the first film, this guy was having his normal life completely and utterly shattered by a combination of both our heroes stepping up to do the right thing and our doofus lack of foresight and self reflection; all of this stuff is hilarious and completely made up for the film but good god they did such an amazing job tying all the elements together in an unexpected way that makes sense and parallels the journey that our protagonist faced in the first movie.

Like with Rob from The Amazing World of Gumball, and a little bit like number 2 on this list, I just really enjoy the concept of turning background characters who had no relevance whatsoever into the big bad of the story who's been there all along and the heroes (and the audience) just couldn't notice.

With The Spot in particular, there's that sense of satisfaction of turning the wasted potential of a villain who has been underestimated for literal decades and treated as a "villain of the week" (God do I love the meta narrative of this movie) into an actual competent, well written antagonist that is aware of his reputation and strives towards bettering himself and his powers.

He's also the funniest character of his movie too and the voice acting of Jason Schwartzman only accentuates his mannerisms and pettyness.

He also has the coolest usage of portals I have ever seen and his whole "There's a hole inside all of us" metaphor is simultaneously hilarious and very deep personal information that can only be understood if you put yourself into his shoes.

I can't wait for Beyond the Spiderverse to come out and see how his arc resolves, more importantly, I wonder if he's going to rank higher in the future.

Number 5: Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

"Happiness must be taken. And I'll take mine"

.....

What a character.

What a movie.

You cause so much pain and suffering, because you don't understand the people around you, and then those people banish you, and you can't understand why, so you start to believe that they hated you.

They never loved you, so you keep causing pain and suffering but it's not that easy anymore; the guilt starts to resurface, all those bodies keep piling up, but you can't stop because then it would have all been for nothing; so you keep chasing those dreams of grandeur because that's all you have left; the emptiness in your heart can no longer be filled by love, so you try to fill it with something else.

You try to fill it with power. You try to fill it with glory. You try to take everything else for yourself so that you can fill that cup, but it doesn't work, because that cup has no bottom.

And so you're left... with yourself.

And the damage you've done. But now it's different; you've failed. You are left with nothing. Nothing.

And so you outrage, for the last time... And then it all ends. Forever. And you've finally come to accept this, after all....... Who could ever love you?

Number 4: Spamton G Spamton (Deltarune)

You know, in retrospect, it's kind of insane what Toby Fox managed to achieve when creating Spamton.

Not only because Spamton feels like the most insane combination of ideas ever conceived, but also because Toby Fox created such a complex character with such a complicated language and personality and then not only shafted it all aside for the players to go out of their way to interact, but also made all of this in what are officially 2 or 3 cutscenes at most (4 if you consider his shop encounter as one) and only one of them being truly mandatory.

You spend so little time with Spamton, and most of that time is spent fighting him, and yet by the end of it you've become enlightened by the knowledge of him, that after a while... you forget how scary it all was.

All the memes comparing Spamton with Turbo are 100% correct and justified, Spamton truly is Turbo but better; you go through an insane rollercoaster of emotions with this character that you are left absolutely dumbfounded when it all comes to a stop and you go back to play the rest of chapter 2 normally.

His insane mannerisms and mood swings are pretty funny at first, but once you peel back the layers a bit they reveal a pretty realistic and sad portrayal of mental illness, mania and hysteria coupled with an unhealthy amount of social distancing, loneliness, and abandonment issues, that reinforce into your brain the idea of someone lacking proper healthcare and needing to be locked away from society for their (society) own good, simulating the vicious cycle that Spamton lives by: nobody wants to help him but he's still expected to act like a regular individual despite the amount of hardships he's facing and the lack of a support system keeping him from falling back into his bad habits.

I'll admit, I've considered putting Spamton in place of the Number 3 spot on this list; but then I've realised that on an objective level, the next entry totally deserves to be ranked above Spamton; plus, with at least 5 more chapters of Deltarune on our way, whose to say that one of the next gremlins won't be able to dethrone even the number 1 spot?

Drumroll for our top 3:

Nox, the Watchmaker (Wakfu)

There will never be another experience in my life as cathartic as watching the first season of Wakfu for the first time ever again.

On a later rewatch, the initial problems that you've noticed throughout the first half of the season and a little bit in the second half become too apparent to ignore, but the first time everything that goes from the ball tournament to the finale is one of the best paced arcs of television, and everything that happens when the team reaches the Sadida kingdom is just peak Wakfu.

And the king, the culprit, the crown jewel of properly paced stories and arcs is no other than the sad clockwork dilf himself: Noximilliem Coxen the Watchmaker.

Arguably, the greatest sympathetic villain of all time. There has never been another case of a character who has committed such vile, unspeakable crimes, and yet still managed to make me root for them while simultaneously not putting down the heroes.

And let's not be mistaken here, Nox is pretty evil:

Aside from the generic murder, Nox also defiled and stitched together the corpses of multiple victims and turned them into his obedient puppets in order to commit even more murder and genocide in order to achieve his goals.

Also, this is one of the funniest crimes Nox has committed: he abused his dog. It's really not that hilarious nor is it that important in the context of the show, but if you look back at it from an outside perspective then it's really like: Oh yeah. That happened too. Lol.

One of the best parts of his entire arc is his defeat. The "20 minutes" scene deserves a "One Villainous Scene" coverage video to forever immortalise it amongst the greatest. Everything from the music, the subversiveness, the cinematography, the voice acting and just the general art direction of it is worthy of an Eminem award at the Oscars, there's genuinely nothing wrong with this scene, it's truly immaculate.

Words alone cannot do justice to the treacherous, gut wrenching emotional rollercoaster that is experiencing his story for the first time. An hour long video essay would only serve to cover the basics and fundamentals, while for the real deal you need to watch the first season of Wakfu for yourself.

Number 2:

Bradford Buzzard (DuckTales 2017)

And now it's the perfect time to pull out my final wild card, the hole of the sink of my autism, the masterpiece of wasted potential that is Bradford Buzzard from the DuckTales remake of 2017.

When you'll also see the number 2 spot on my villainesses list, you'll come to realise that this spot is more of the "I really wish I could put this at number one but I can't because objectively he doesn't deserve it and the majority of things I love about him in canon were probably an afterthought and in fanon were never plausible to begin with."

And that's how I feel about Bradford Buzzard, an antagonist I spent more time thinking about than probably anybody else on the Earth.

The show runners were so genius for this: we are going to create an original character that will probably struggle to maintain a foot print on the franchise due to the way the Duck verse works, we'll give him an insanely cool backstory and motivation, all coupled with interesting character traits and ideology, we'll make him the ultimate foil to Scrooge McDuck that has been working with him for literal decades, we'll make him the one who has got the closest to isolating Scrooge and destroying his family, and THEN we'll turn him into a generic anime villain that shoots lasers and fumbles his own plan and loses because of insane plot armour and contrivance. Good job writers.

Anyway, I should probably make the case for why this guy ranks so highly in my mind to the point of almost taking the podium for my most liked villain of all time, especially when compared to the stiff competition that we just went through.

Now, part of it is just because this is a personal top 10 and so I can put whoever I want in whatever order I want. But also, with Bradford in particular, there's a personal aspect of relatability, various interests, and passions all coming together to make him stand out in my brain.

The thing is, I've had a pretty strong connection to Disney's Duck's comic books my entire life, even if my love for them came dwindling over time, so when I finally started watching the Reboot and it was amazing, all of that buried passion and love finally re emerged back to the surface, turning me into an annoying super fan. But while season 1 and 2 were great, season 3 actually gave me something to latch on for the rest of time even after the show had ended: the character of Bradford Buzzard.

You see, DuckTales, both in the shows and comics, always had a plethora of villains; from the crazy, megalomaniacal millionaires, to witches, demons, and other mythological creatures, to power hungry aliens, to straight up super-villains. But while all of that is true, there has never been another villain, aside from Magica, Glomgold and Rockerduck at traits, that was built specifically as the anti Scrooge McDuck, and even further, there has never been another antagonist who challenged the very core ideas and concepts of the entire franchise.

Bradford is like the Frank Grimes of DuckTales: just a regular, average, real world guy who's fed up with the nonsensical constant state at which their fictional universe operates and seeks to correct it in the most logical way possible. And while Frank was ultimately a victim of a world in which he couldn't conform, Bradford's outrageous and extreme plans and methods put him on everybody's hit list until he was left all alone, but not before indirectly causing every major disaster throughout the reboot's runtime.

A cold, calculating, machiavellian mastermind whose impact and presence secretly permeates the show, right till the very end.

Shame he wasn't written better.

And now, for the one and only,

Number 1:

Qilby (Wakfu)

Qilby is the biggest example of an anomaly that you could ever observe in a work of fiction. The first time experiencing a story is the most important and impactful moment of that story, as every future rewatch won't be as good as the first. In particular, this is an important aspect of twist villains, as they can only surprise you the first time, since at future rewatches the twist becomes predictable.

Furthermore, if the twist ends up ruining the character that was established up to this point, or it doesn't make any sense, then the story is kind of ruined and it only gets worse on future rewatches, since now you know that everything that you are seeing right now is ultimately worthless and doesn't provide any value.

So why do we love twist villains and keep churning them out? Well, you see, it's a matter of execution. A bad guy introduced in an unconventional manner is much more memorable than one introduced in a straightforward way; the twist can also serve to showcase different aspects of the character before becoming an obvious obstacle, be it quirks, interests, personality in casual settings, or cunning.

Let's not beat around the bush.

If Nox is the single greatest sympathetic villain of all time, then Qilby is by far the greatest twist villain of all time, and the crazy thing is, that he surprises you two times in a row, at first by revealing himself as more evil than you could ever imagine, and then, by outing himself as more complex than you could have ever anticipated.

Let me paint you the picture: you just finished the first season of Wakfu, and you are still pretty fresh of the hype surrounding Nox, so you think to yourself "Oh, now every future antagonist is ruined because nothing could ever top the emotional gut punch that I just went through. Whatever, I'm going to stick around just to see if the story gets worse" and you start the second season.

So far, everything is normal, even better of the first season in terms of engagement value, but you can't help but feel the lack of a Nox like figure inside of the story, but at this point, you just accept it.

Then the final six episodes roll around and OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAS THE WHOLE SHOW JUST GONE INSANE?

Somehow, in some mystical, french, magical way, the season 2 finale is arguably even better than the ending of season 1 despite the fight having less buildup and introducing a lot of brand new characters and an entirely irrelevant faction into his conflict.

The entirety of the scene in Emrumb is some of the best writing I have ever experienced in any work of fiction, and the music accompanying it only accentuates the repressed dopamine being released after various episodes of filler, all of them important for this moment to be as impactful as it is.

Qilby is also just a great, tragic character, that is simultaneously an unforgivable bastard that tried to kill his family and doomed his entire race for a family trip, and a sad, nihilistic man still trying to reconcile his love for his family and his need for knowledge and discovery; his curse never truly allows him to move on or relate to others but his ego and need for his forgetful brothers attention just pushes him even further into resentment, ending up damaging himself and those around him, until he's finally isolated again by the vary people he harmed and showed his love towards.

He's as good as the evil secret sibling trope can get and I never get tired of watching him on screen. His reveal scene to Adamai still gives me the chills to this very day and demonstrated me just how good the surprise villain concept can get when it's executed correctly.

Just an all around great show.

[u-gotta-go-in-the-hole]

it’s 5:24 am and I haven’t been able to get any sleep because i've been thinking about the anon on the chnt confessions account yesterday, the post about elijah.

ELIJAH VOLKOV IS NOT A "PURE EVIL VILLIAN." I AM PREPARED TO DIE ON MITKSI’S HILL FOR THIS.

in fact, i'd say he's quite the opposite! he's not some kind of irredeemable, vile monster of a human(?). he is a mentally disturbed man with an unhealthy pious obsession with an idealized version of somebody he does not know.

is he an "evil" character? he fits the textbook definition well enough and he plays an antagonistic role in the story, so yes, i suppose he is.

referring to elijah as a "pure evil villian" might as well be the same thing as calling jedidiah one. both characters and the way they treat sydney are two sides of the same coin. elijah is more stereotypically manipulative than jedidiah, sure, but they still both damage sydney in their own ways.

elijah did do arguably worse things than jedidiah did, for example, stalking, brainwashing children and trying to bury jedidiah alive(through the bodies of people he was also brainwashing). not a great look. but he isn't little jack horner from the newest puss in boots movie, he has real motivations and believes wholeheartedly that he is doing the right thing for all parties involved. his intention wasn't to kill sydney, and i personally don't believe it was his intention to manipulate sydney either. with how divine he views sydney, it just feels out of character for him to do that intentionally. unlike jedidiah, who is self aware enough to realize his flaws and how he harms sydneys mental well being. jedidiah, who(i'm pretty sure) has been aware of how his behavior effects sydney for YEARS, and has still done nothing to change. meanwhile, elijah, who was seemingly unaware of how he negatively impacts sydney, is made aware suddenly, and we see no aftermath of that. presumeably he still views sydney in the same way, but still, who knows?

i guess the main issue i personally have with this take is how it neglects to mention how jedidiah is just as bad. i'm just a jedidiah hater though, so this is probably extremely biased.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Link: Hey Sonic,l what’s up.

Sonic: Not much, just had a realization.

Link: Oh?

Sonic: Yeah. I just realized that Puss in Boots: the Last Wish is an animated kids version of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.

Link: ... You’re gonna have to elaborate on that one buddy.

Sonic: Oh, it’s easy. See the first big fight for the protagonist in both is against a giant and monstrous foe that would be the final boss anywhere else, Metal Gear Ray/The Giant.

Link: Okay but I still don’t-

Sonic: Then the protagonist fights against a superior foe who seems like just some guy who defeats the protag and challenges his ideals, Jetstream Sam/Death.

Link: I mean... you’re not-

Sonic: THEN, the protag fights a female boss who thinks he’s cute, Mistral/Softpaws, after acquiring a canine companion, Bladewolf/Perrito. Then comes the fight against an absolute scumbag, Monsoon/Jack Horner. Then the protag fights their rival again after having rethought their ideals and changed as a person and wins where before they lost, Sam/Death again. And finally, the real final boss against a roided-out rich guy after power, Giant Jack Horner/Senator Armstrong.

Link: ...My eyes have been opened. (+3 Insight Gained)

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Similarities Between SU and Evangelion

I just watched The End of Evangelion last night and have a lot of thoughts. Steven Universe is full of Evangelion references from the congratulations scene in “The Test” and the above image from “Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service”. Another similarity I’ve noticed is how the characters are portrayed as well as the themes of learning to love yourself present in both.

To start, the main character in both series is fairly unconventional for a male protagonist which has earned them both scorn and praise. Both Shinji and Steven have been flanderized as wimps which ignores that they are braver and more willing to fight than many assume. Both could be described as feminine due to being very sensitive and emotional as well as dressing in clothing associated with girls. Ex. Shinji’s workout clothes or Steven wearing Sadie’s dress and Pink Diamond’s outfit, as well as his main color, pink, being associated with femininity. Both end up viewing themselves as monsters at their lowest point, Steven in Future and Shinji in EoE and have an arc about learning to love themselves.

One thing I picked up on is that the two series present their characters in a similar fashion. They have both a “superficial self” and a “true self”. Shinji has been described by some as “all bite, no bark” versus Asuka as “all bark, no bite”. This is kind of true for SU as well. Blue Diamond is an example of this. At first glance, she seems more gentle and motherly than the other diamonds but is just cruel and callous. The softness is the exterior and what’s beneath is someone who’s emotionally abusive and manipulative.

Lapis and Jasper are also examples of this. Lapis looks weaker and more meek compared to the brutish Jasper. Then we see that beneath the exterior is someone completely different. I love and relate to Lapis but she is very callous, toxic and admitted to enjoying taking her pain out on Jasper. Likewise, under the harsh and ruthless exterior of the gem warrior is someone with a lot of self esteem issues, believing being strong is about having power over others and refusing Steven’s help, only becoming friendlier to him after being shattered. Lapis realized that strength isn’t built on fear and pain in “Why so Blue” which is why she denounced her behavior as weakness. The series emphasizes this with the songs “Strong in the Real Way” and the classic banger “Stronger than You” that real strength comes from love and ingenuity, not brute force, hate or tearing people down.

I think Rose is the biggest example of the superficial vs true self. We’re introduced to her as the person she grew into; kind, the perfect leader and a hero. Then the series slowly deconstructs that image, showing all her flaws and where she came from. How she started a lot like her son, bratty and throwing tantrums because she was desperate for attention and love from the other diamonds. A lot of her questionable actions are a product of her mindset from being a diamond and the abuse from the others creating a lack of self worth. Beneath the perfect image of Rose was someone who believed she was just a bad person and couldn’t change. She was unable to love herself which is why Steven acts as a foil for her. He went through similar things but had a support system he could rely on and people who helped him grow.

As a fan of both series, I couldn’t help but notice these similarities. It’s sad that more emotional or sensitive characters like Steven or Shinji still get hate from internet dudebros, hence all those “get in the robot” or “Steven vs Jack Horner” memes, but both have been important to me in my own journey of self love. I think both have a good commentary on humanity and how no human is pure angel or devil and despite that, learning to love yourself and accept your flaws is something we all need.

[thirdrootwriting]

Brother of my Brother (Infinite Crisis - Bad End) pt3

Back to Jason POV. There is some gore, torture, and gun violence in this one.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

The thing about Lex Luthor was the man had an insatiable need to stick his fingers into every available pie, the greedy capitalistic little Jack Horner pig. If some serious shit went down, there was an absolute guarantee that Luthor had started that shit, worsened that shit, or offered some incredibly condescending ' help' with that shit that was -in reality- probably just a disguised ploy to fuck with Superman.

(And holy hell, Jason could admit that he personally had raging inferiority issues, both before and after his resurrection, but the way Luthor was with Superman made his relationship with the original Robin AND Robin 3.0  look like the model of mental health by comparison).

All this in mind, if you wanted to know something and didn’t feel like trying your luck snooping around Batman's shit, the next best thing was to hop a city over to the next autocratic billionaire. Armed with that knowledge, and with the street cred of being known as one of Gotham's rouges, it's not hard to growl and posture in front of the right seedy bar-owners, fixers, and middle-men to track down a villain that's been getting cash flow from Luthor.

 People in that sort of game might be hard enough to keep their composure and claim ignorance in front of the Big Bad Bat himself, but are always willing to spill the latest gossip to a guy with a rap-sheet, well-used guns, and blood under his nails. It's how they connect thugs and D-list villains to people Luthor or Talia for use as cannon fodder, and while it's annoying as fuck to be seen as nothing more than a gun for hire, it is useful.

So useful, that only three days after reading that stupid memorial page, the Red Hood's got his gun under the chin of some little mathlete, computer nerd called the Calculator (stupid name), the guy squealing about the Secret Society of Supervillains (stupider name) that Luthor had set up with Talia, who really could do better in terms of company, and that fucking creep Deathstroke.

Three fingers shot off at point blank and one knee crunched to bony, gritty pieces under his boot, and the Red Hood's heard way more than he cares to regarding this little fun-time club of murders, their plans for a world-wide prison break (like Arkham didn't have those regularly on its own), the JLA's nasty little foray into memory alteration (the good guys pulling, morally objectionable, authoritarian shit? Say it ain't so!), and how the Luthor leading them had actually been an alternative universe fake trying to pull some sort of multiverse ending evil scheme.

Fun times all around, and the Red Hood could not give less of a shit about any of it if he tried.

Hood readjusts his weight, putting more of it on his left leg that's bearing down on the Calculator's ruined knee. The man underneath him lets out a whimpering, scream. Hood lets his gun's aim wander slowly down the guy's body, he thinks about pointing it at the fucker's crotch just to see if he'll start crying again but decides to have a bit of class and lets the muzzle rest on the Calculator's other, intact knee instead.

"That'd all be real interesting if I gave a shit about what you were getting up to Noah, but I what I want to know is how things shook out. The world's still standing right? So whose dead now that the dust's settled, and how they'd get there? That's the real question."

Hood taps the gun muzzle twice against Calculator's knee. He won't actually shoot, too much chance of hitting a blood vessel and having the guy go unconscious and useless from blood loss, but he doubts this computer geek knows that.

Way too many villains get into this gig all excited about torture, extortion, and killing with absolutely no defenses on what too do if the tables are reserved. It's always hilarious watching them shit their pants and scramble when they suddenly weren't the meanest thing in the room.

"I-, I-, the Luthor we were working with, the one from Earth-3, he ran so the heroes didn't get him, but he's dead already. He made the mistake of trying to go to ground in Gotham, and the Joker got him. Apparently the fucking clown was pissy he didn't invited to festivities, as if anyone half-way sane is willing to team up with his crazy ass." The Calculator grunts out, eyes wide and desperate as they track the gun that's poised over his one remaining knee.

Ugh, what a fool-ass rookie mistake. You only tried going to ground in Gotham if were unhinged and bloodthirsty enough to be too much of a pain in the ass to attack or you were homegrown on its cursed soil and knew how to avoid the city's resident cast of horrors. Hood's willing to guess any version of Luthor's a dangerous genius, but unless this version liked peeling people's faces off and eating them for a midday snack, he'd undoubtedly instead got eaten alive himself by Gotham's hungry jaws.

A least if the Joker got him, the guy definitely didn’t die a nice, easy death. Jason knows that with a painful certainty.

"Mmh, closer to having something actually useful to say. But hey, you went to ground in Gotham too, huh Noah, and it seems that's working out a bit better for you!"

Hood grinds his left heel down again. His boots are too thick to feel the grit of shattered bone, but he can hear the mess of tendons, viscera, and bone shards underneath the Calculator's latest, warbling scream. The guy pissed his pants right around the time Hood shot off his second finger, and the whole air would likely have the sharp mixed stinks of urine and blood if he removed his helmet.

"Was working out for you, I should say. You must be a local boy, huh?" Hood pauses, till the Calculator's eyes have refocused enough to show he's paying attention to Hood instead of his own pain.

"So, from one Gotham boy to another, how'd it shake out for our Bats? I hear our latest little Robin got out fine, and god only fucking knows that we ain't lucky enough to hope Batman got offed, but how'd birdy number 1 fare?" It's hard to resist the temptation to grind down on the man's shattered bones again, to resist pulling the trigger and making him bleed. Jason can feel himself losing control of the urge to send this piece of trash to hell where he belongs.

"How's Nightwing doing these days?"

"Nightwing and Superboy took down the machine-tower Earth-3 Luthor was using to rewrite the multiverse. I didn't see in person, but I hacked communications, and from Wonder Woman's report Luthor killed Nightwing in rage as reve-"

Hood yanks the aim of the gun up from Noah Kuttler's knee to his skull and blows his fucking brains out close range. The left side of the Calculator's face explodes into a mess of brain tissue and blood.

He gives the body a final kick, then lets himself out of the apartment that piece of trash had set up as a his hideout. It's Gotham, and the few cops not corrupt enough to ignore this are too overworked to give a shit about some villain's death, so no need to waste his time taking out the trash.

Hood slams the door of the run down apartment complex behind him, and stomps out onto the chilly streets. It's not raining, just damp and cold as Gotham usually is in the fall, so there might still be people, but Jason doesn't really give a fuck right now. Between his now-infamous helmet, his more obvious guns, and the wide shoulders he grew into, nobody's gonna mess with him as he prowls the streets.

And if they do, well, actually smashing some drug dealer or rapist shit's head against ground still it cracks like a bloody egg sounds like a good time with the mood he's in.

Hood makes it four blocks, not thinking about where's he going and not lucky enough to pass someone dumb enough to try starting shit with him, before he can even think above the cold, angry, itching boiling beneath his skin.

He needs a plan, he needs to do something, do anything. Jason will boil himself alive in his own itching skin with his rage if he has to just sit on it. He'd planned to kill whoever had murdered Nightwing, figured it would be some hot-shot that got a lucky hit in the chaos of battle, or some too clever for their own good smarmy loser who'd gotten an advantage by holding a little side-kick hostage.

Jason could have worked off his rage on giving them a death that was almost as slow they'd deserved for taking someone like his brother from him and Gotham, and finally proved, that at least in this respect, he was better than Rob-, than Nightwing. He might not be so nice, so naturally talented, so charismatic, but he could have proved himself better in this and given Dick's death the closure a good person like him deserved.

He realizes his loud, angry walk has taken him close to the warehouses of the harbor, the drafty old buildings three times as likely to be housing some sort of illegal goings-on as they are to be housing shipping containers.

His- his- second time heading out as Robin with Nightwing, had been around here.

Jason had jumped into a drug-processing scheme too early, nearly ruined the bust. Nightwing had to swoop in and rescue him - though instead of cracking heads, the annoying prick had just flashed a fake, movie-star smile and sweet-talked the guards and drug processors into letting them walk out.

He'd scolded Jason a bit afterwards, but taken the sting out of it by inviting him along on the real bust later that night. Afterwards he'd shot Robin a much gentler, beaming real smile and told him 'good job'. Then he'd ruined that soft, tingly feeling of pride at being treated like an equal by Nightwing, by prodding and whining until Jason had reluctantly let Dick buy him ice-cream.

Dick had flavor palate of a little kid in regards to sweets, and he'd gotten whipped cream and sprinkles on his. Jason had made fun of him for being 17 and eating like a 7 year old, and-

Jason's nearly twenty now, older than Dick had been when they first met. He's right near the age Dick was when Jason had died, a funny sort of parallelism.

Hey, with the way he's getting on with the family right now, chances are Jason will also miss his brother's funeral. How fuckin' hilarious is that?

He leans his head against one of the warehouse's outer walls and laughs. It comes out monstrous and distorted through his helmet's speakers. His gloved hands can't find purchase on his jacket's shoulders to rip up his own skin and let out some of the anger inside.

Anger and maybe not anger. His face feels wet and he's still laughing a bit. Whatever Jason's feeling it's bad, and he wants it gone. Needs to do something, anything for this feeling to be gone.

He doesn't know what to do though, and the unbearable tide of it swells and suddenly and desperately Jason can't help himself from thinking he wants to be 13 years old again getting painlessly snatched out of the air by Nightwing with a trapeze artist's instincts for a fall about to go wrong. He wants to be 14, half-asleep on a mountain-lodge couch on his first ever family vacation as his brother quietly tells his father Jason's a good kid, with the softest tone he's ever heard Dick aim at Bruce.

He wants to be 15 with this same unbearable angerfeargrief that is drowning him now swelling and calling his brother, his Robin, Bruce's first son, the only person in the world that might understand how he's feeling. The phone won't pick up, and he'd known that, known that the Titans were in space all distant and unreachable, but he'd still called.

Jason had still had a brother to call, and the promise that maybe someday it would connect.

He dials Dick Grayson's current civilian number on numbs fingers.

"The number you are attempting to reach is not in service."

Jason hits redial. He can't say why, the call's not magically gonna go through this time.

"The number you are attempting to reach is not in service."

He redials the number manually, staring hard at the screen to make sure each button press is pulling up the correct number.

"The number you are attempting to reach is not in service."

Once more, repeating the phone number out loud to make sure he's remembering it correctly.

"The number you are attempting to reach is not in service."

"The number you are attempting to reach is not in service."

"The number you are attempting to reach is not in service."

[calypsolemon]

I'm not particularly of the mind that Jack Horner is some revolutionary character for being an irredeemable villain (honestly at the risk of sounding mean, I kind of think that if you believe there's too many "redemption arcs" and "sympathetic villains" in fiction you're either not understanding what those are or not engaging with enough media to make a proper judgement) but I don't really think the creators thought they were being unique with him either. Personally I think he works well in the film because the story is already an incredibly simple fable at its core.

Puss is not as selfish as Jack by any means, nor does he have the same desires on a surface level, but what they do share is a sense of entitlement. Puss desires well beyond what life has allotted him, despite the privilege he already was born with (8 extra lives). He spends this privilege frivolously in an attempt to maintain his ego, hurting people around him (especially those he is supposed to love) in the process. And when he realizes he has lost this advantage, his first reaction is to attempt to gain it all back, feeling as though without immortality, his life means nothing. Jack as a villain mirrors this but in a way that is literal enough that it is impossible to miss, for both humorous effect and as a way to better understand the reason why Puss not valuing his own life is a problem.

No real conclusion to this I'm just putting it out there because the way Jack Horner gets discussed as a villain kind of rubs me as not-quite-right to his actual purpose in the story.

[strawberryraviegutz]

Ok, I’m gonna be real with you guys. When it comes to simping for a character, I’ve never been nervous/embarrassed about simping for a character until Jack Horner. Usually when I simp for a “tumblr sexyman”or any character in general I know that there’s gonna be people who say it’s “cringe” and all and or get made fun of, but I usually don’t care and simp to my hearts content and be on my merry way.

But with Jack Horner it’s different. People are being so fucking WEIRD about him. People are legit “terrified”/butthurt over people finding him attractive or about him becoming a tumblr sexyman(fucking hate that term btw. It’s almost always been used to make fun of people for simping for fictional characters they personally don’t find attractive to their standards, and even if a “tumblr sexymen” is conventionally attractive we still get made fun of or picked on so there’s literally no pleasing these people).Even the“tumblr sexyman of the day” account on Twitter doesn’t claim Jack Horner(so much for not supporting cringe culture lmao).

Hell I literally saw a Tumblr post about someone sayingthat they wanna observe Jack Horner simps under a microscope as if we’re damn science experiments, and one other one saying “block me if you find him attractive you’re disgusting” or just people baffled about others finding him hot. And don’t even get me started on those dumb Jack Horner “parody accounts made for the soul purpose of saying bigoted shit using the character(that being the transphobic and racist Jack Horner “parody” accounts on Twitter).

Now I sorta do have an oc I wanna ship with him. She’s still a work in progress and I might base her off of Swan Lake. But seeing the way people are behaving online Idk if I should. I don’t want people my commenting on my shit being like, “lmao get a grip he would never do that!” Or “dude he’d never actually love you if anything he’d actually *insert bigoted behavior here*”, or overall getting attacked in general. I’m legit terrified.

This is Also the reason why I was so hesitant about simping for him in the first place. Why are people so adamant about attacking people online for finding certain characters attractive, we’re not doing anything wrong like please just LEAVE US ALONE. What do you guys think I should do? I could use some encouragement and or advice on what to do.

[proxylynn]

I'd hate Jack Horner if he was a real person but if there is a show I’d love watching him scheme against his enemies and winning most of the time!

[I'd binge that show so hard. Watching this unit of a man cheating and stealing his way to the top but feeling so empty that he aims for bigger and better things, only to still feel hollow. Watching him as the main character would be amazing. Dreamworks! Stop making the Nine Realms and give me this Big Jack Horner prequel show! And do it right!]

[sinfulbutsincere]

So help me God there's my OC

Yes, I also have an OC, which is created specifically to... well... be close to Jack Horner.

Fanchon (Fanny) Toad-mouth.

She is one of the two sisters from Charles Perrault's "The Fairy" ("the proud, ill-bred" one). Her curse is that every time she speaks, frogs, toads, snakes and other amphibians fall from her mouth. At the moment, she is taking special potions that have narrowed the effect of the curse. Now it only bothers her if Fanchon swears. Imagine not being able to tell somebody to f**k off without a toad in your mouth! Living hell!

Fanny is a good liar and a talented speaker. She knows how to manipulate the crowd. Her public image has nothing to do with who she really is: a touchy, vindictive, trashy girl who likes to slander and ridicule kind naive people and "happy endings". Her bitterness comes from a sense of injustice, because the curse has essentially ruined her whole life, no matter how hard she tries to deny it. God knows, Fanchon would like to take revenge on the very Fairy who cursed her. Maybe Jack Horner could help her... maybe...

Fanchon is a very socially active woman. She started by creating a support group for the cursed, which later grew into an entire brand. Now she is a well-respected motivation speaker and runs a charitable program to collect money for cursed ones. Not all money go to them, of course. Fanny is abusing funds a little. Just a little to buy co stuff, hehe. She is still that "ill-bred girl" from the fairytale.

Jack Horner is one of the most respected benefactors of the Cursed Foundation. Miss Toad-mouth is often invited to his estate for "personal meetings". Actually, Jack's charity is nothing but a way to slightly improve the image in the eyes of regular people, proposed by Fanny herself.

Jack and Fanny are more of friends with benefits rather than romantic lovers (at least he sees it that way). He is comfortable with a woman who does not demand anything from him but willingly obeys and admires him. She understands perfectly well that Jack is too good for her and is content with her position as a submissive and confidant. Just being able to be around him makes her feel less empty inside. She would do anything for him, frankly. She's deeper in this than she's even aware.

Random things:

The amphibians that fall from Fanny's mouth are not quite ordinary. their life cycle is about five to ten minutes, after which they crumble into dust (otherwise it would be an environmental disaster, duh)

Jack may have seen miss Toad-mouth at fairs, because in her youth she tried to make money by demonstrating the effect of the curse for the amusement of the crowd. She doesn't like to talk about it...

Jack Horner never kisses Fanchon on the lips. For obvious reasons.

Fanchon studies amphibians in her spare time. he can tell with a certain accuracy whether it is an ordinary frog or an enchanted person. Once she brought Jack a whole bucket of people turned into non-talking frogs as a gift (imagine her coming to his office like the Spy from tf2: "This... is a bucket, Mr Horner")

At their first meeting, Jack Horner joked that her curse might work well to scare off overly intrusive suitors, since she "can summon a snake with one obscene word." In fact, the appearance of a snake is just a 5% probability, so... unlikely. Although Fanny has a few scars from snake bites around her mouth. Apparently those snakes aren't even poisonous (what a bummer)

Jack's attraction to Fanchon can be explained by the fact that she is a rather liberated woman who willingly takes on the role of a submissive, which amuses his ego.

Well, yes, Toad-mouth is not her real name, but she tries to make this name more then just a taunt of her curse.

And yes, she is plus size. Why not. I am.

[cannedbabs]

Hi hi hi! So I'm kinda in love with your Jack x reader fic, I'm especially impressed with how in-character you keep him. I know you find soft!Jack to be a little difficult to write for, but your headcanons on that are just 👌*chefs kiss*, tbh. More on that, I've been playing around with the idea of a childhood friend s/o. Just somebody who's completely used to him being how he is and doesn't shy away from it. Do you think he would feel more comfortable to be soft around them or what? Or just any thoughts you have on the dynamic tbh! Thanks!

So sorry for not posting in.. so long!! Been in a slump!! BUT!! I wanted to give my take on this!! (Not necessarily headcanon formatted but!!)

Tbh yeah, he would be a little soft on them? But you also have to take into consideration his metaphorical growth as a person. I am big and heavy on the idea that Jack believes “Little Jack” is dead, as he says, and basically all from that horrible part of his childhood is gone. The traveling wagon shows, his family owned brand is now HIS brand, etc. he may associate you/the friend with bad memories due to it (or may have bad association if the friend is magical in some aspect). A general jealousy thing!

But it would he a case of “well I sort of knew you so now your basically a mutual. Due to what we were through we are strangers with memories, and i don’t Automatically hate you” but it would just be general respect. If any of his childhood is brought up he tries to shut that train of thought down real quick unless its to gloat. If your mentioning any of the parts he deemed to have cut out he is quick to remind you that he isnt like that anymore. Even talk about his personal life is dismissed (but he exaggerates it to fuck with you. He’s a gloating bastard, but hes not an idiot. all this “Useless crap like that” lines is basically fishing for a reaction, he LIKES taunting and being an arrogant asshole, it makes him feel powerful)

Though the biggest thing with Jack, and it is apparent by the s/o being completely used to this, is to not give him that power. No reaction? Not giving what he wants? Hes quick to deflate. In the movie Puss is talking him up like he’s the scariest monster in the movie (“this is why you dont cross Jack Horner!” “Robbing from big Jack Horner? Tsk tsk, very risky.”) but thats what makes him ‘scary’ is this persona he is built. He isnt magic. He is just a guy who owns a PIE FACTORY. Deflating makes him prone to being a little more vulnerable and open by proxy, and its not something he does on purpose by any means. Though it’s a case of you need to sort of make him falter before you can see genuine feeling come from him, and with most shipping situations that wall is hard to break but due to the closeness the s/o and Jack shared… it would break easier.

It would definitely lead to more personal talks, especially if the s/o experienced it first hand way back when. Jack doesnt need to inflate his backstory, they already know it, and especially if he tried but they corrected him? He wouldnt really try lying about it again unless it was minute details. Maybe in this he would let them be more touchy, too. The opportunity to play with Jack’s hair? Sign me up 😳

Sorry this was formatted so weird I just sorta rambled!! And like stated sorry I completely disappeared im going through some busy life stuff atm and kinda not on a lot of social media <3 but I’ll be back, and hopefully with an updated chapter!!!

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

unable to stay, unwilling to leave - a newtina titanic au

“It’s been eighty-four years, and I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used, the sheets had never been slept in. Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams. And it was. It really was…”

Hi all! So… I WILL finish my Newtina-TLOU fic, I promise, but… Titanic was back in the cinema in 3D in February because it was just after the 25th Anniversary of its release (fun fact: Titanic came out like three or four weeks before I was born!) and Titanic is literally one of my special interests as an autistic person, both the 1997 film and the history of the 1912 sinking. I have studied so much about it in my spare time that it’s unreal, and I even went to a Titanic exhibition last April (one day after the 110th anniversary of the sinking in fact) in London, so… yeah.

111 years ago today, in the early hours of 15th April 1912, the RMS Titanic sank after hitting an iceberg in the early hours of 14th April. I was hoping to publish this chapter yesterday to coincide with the time it struck the iceberg, but life had other plans… still, this is the date it actually sank on, and so it’s still an important date to recognise.

I really wanted to write a fic as a love letter to the film and to the history of the sinking. I’ve talked about a Newtina Titanic AU on Instagram as well as a Theseus/Lally AU and who knows? Maybe I’ll write the TheseLally one at some point, (because that one when I discussed it on Instagram featured Theseus as Rose) but as I was watching the film a third time in the cinema (back in February), I started to pull together a Newtina one.

This fic is based on the 1997 film directed by James Cameron; because I want to respect the real life people who were shown in the film, I have kept most of the real life people in their respective roles instead of substituting them for FB characters. I have not only used the official cut of the film that was released, but I have also used the script and deleted scenes (some of which I believe should have been in the film even though it would have been even longer), and I’ve made some amendments to be as historically accurate as possible.

The title of this fic is taken from the name of a track on the Titanic soundtrack; it’s the song that plays when Rose jumps out of the lifeboat back onto the ship so she can stay with Jack. I highly recommend listening to James Horner’s incredible soundtrack, especially the extended one that features the Party in Third Class track, the songs the band play during the film, and the version of Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On that featured dialogue.

I’m sharing it because obviously I’d love for people to read it, but this is honestly a passion project for me due to my love of Titanic so… you know. I’m happy just to get to dive into the story of my favourite film and have an excuse to do research on the sinking.