#jo would just wear whatever’s comfy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pikablu410 · 4 years

Text

Baked Goods

The sun was out, a few clouds scattered about, and the wind was at Tim’s back as he walked to a group mate's house on a Saturday afternoon. Tim was a young guy, a junior in high school, and with the physique of one. He was pretty thin, with a bit of muscle from hormones and whatnot. Tim never really prided himself on his body, but he wasn’t really ashamed of it. Plus, he was planning on going to the gym more often during the summer to build some muscle.

Tim was wearing some white sneakers, a black t-shirt, and some jeans. He just got on the first things he saw in his closet, not really bothering to think about his outfit too much since he was just going to see some friends today.

While Tim didn’t have any particularly strong feelings for Josh, the group mate’s house he was walking to, he was forced to work with him since his other friends, Dylan and Austin, had chosen him to work on a group project with them. Josh didn’t live far away from all of them, so they were all able to meet up at his house to work on the project easily and quickly.

Josh was also openly gay, while neither Tim nor his friends working on the project were. Regardless, none of them saw it as an issue since Josh was nice person who everyone just saw as the gay kid at school. Sure, he could be a little too open about his affection towards other guys, fondling their hair and getting a bit too close to them, but he never intended to be weird or harmful. Tim didn’t really care either way since he hadn’t interacted with Josh before, and he didn’t plan on talking to him more after this. This was just a group project; nothing more, nothing less.

Tim walked up the concrete steps to Josh’s house and knocked three times in succession. Quickly afterwards, a bit too quickly for Tim who jumped back when the door suddenly opened, Josh was at the doorstep welcoming Tim inside.

“Hey Tim! Glad to see you got here safe!” Josh kindly sang. He was a person who always put on a joyful front, which was a bit annoying but Tim decided he could deal with it.

“Am I the first one here? There’s no papers out or anything.” Tim observed, walking into the living room where an oak coffee table sat in front of a dark blue, comfy looking sofa.

“Yeah, Austin said he was almost here. I’m not sure where Dylan is, but he hasn’t said he isn’t coming at least!” Josh joked, hoping to brighten the mood. He didn’t know Tim too well, so he was hoping he could strengthen the friendship while he had the chance.

“Oh! I’m trying to get into baking, too. I made some cookies for you guys since we’ll be working on this for a bit!” Josh said, placing down a platter of cookies on the coffee table, as well as a glass of milk.

“Uh, thanks?” Tim said, sitting down on the sofa. He didn’t think this project would take more than an hour, but if Josh wanted to bake he wasn’t going to stop him.

A few minutes passed by with Tim just watching whatever was playing on TV. He had expected either Austin or Dylan to show up at one point, but neither did.

“What’s taking them so long?” Tim thought to himself. He had wanted to finish this early so he could get it out of the way, but it was taking longer than he thought it would have.

The smell of cookies distracted Tim, as they had been sitting out for a while. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but they did smell good. He figured why not, and decided to take a bite out of one of the cookies. They tasted astounding. Despite being out for a good 5 minutes, the chocolate melted in Tim’s mouth. The cookie itself, like the chocolate, also seemed to melt once it hit his tongue. Tim immediately took another bite and quickly finished that cookie before eagerly grabbing another. He remembered the milk and took occasional sips from that as well as he ate the cookies.

Tim ate like a starved man, grabbing cookie after cookie in each hand, stuffing more and more down his gullet like he was insatiable. It wasn’t long before he finished the entire platter, chugging the rest of the milk down as he did so. He let out a small burp before placing the empty glass back on the table and putting his hand on his stomach. It felt a little more bloated than usual, which made sense to Tim as he had just stuffed himself full of cookies. However, it was a weird feeling of squishy flab, and not a taut, bloated feeling he was expecting.

As Tim finished the cookies and was a bit taken back by the results, Josh walked in with a plate full of brownies and a gallon of milk.

“It looks like you enjoyed my cookies! I knew a chubster like you would!” Josh giggled, sitting down next to Tim and jiggling his belly.

Tim just laughed with Josh. He wasn’t really chubby, but he did have a slight belly. He just liked to eat a lot, is all! None of his body jiggled like one would expect an overweight person’s to, so Tim didn’t really see it as an immediate issue. It was recent too, so he knew he could work it off in no time. That’s why he walked over to Josh’s instead of getting a ride, but he regretted that when got he got tired and started to sweat after a minute of walking.

Regardless there was a plate with new baked goods on it, and if they were as good as the cookies Tim knew these would be heavenly. Forgetting about his weight problem for a bit, he dug into the brownies with as much gusto as he had with the cookies, continuing to take sips of the milk as he ate. It was creamy, delicious and helped Tim wash down the food he was eating. And was the food ever good! The brownies lived up to Tim’s expectations and then some! They were dripping with gooey chocolate when he bit into them, and they were just as soft and delicious as the cookies.

Again, as he finished, Tim drank the rest of the milk down. He let out a slightly bigger belch than last time, though it could still barely be called a belch. He set his hand on his stomach again and was confused for a bit when his hand came into contact with his belly much sooner than he had expected.

“You finished the brownies already? Wow, you must sure be hungry, but I guess it makes sense for a guy as big as you to be that hungry.” Josh said as he walked into the living room with two plates of cookies and brownies.

“What do you mean by that?” Tim asked, letting out a sizeable belch afterwards.

“Oh, you know what I mean. Your belly! It’s getting pretty big at this point, I don’t think you can just lose it in a week like you’re saying.” Josh said, rubbing Tim’s belly as he talked, as if to emphasize his point. “It’s even starting to lift your shirt up a bit! How much do you have to eat for that to happen?” Josh half asked, half joked. Tim laughed, though, realizing Josh’s point.

He was getting pretty chubby, his belly emphasizing that. His clothes were pretty tight with his shirt showcasing how large his belly had grown. Tim’s jeans were also being strained by his legs, not to mention his plumpened rear pushing against the back of the jeans. His moobs were almost visible through his tight shirt, too, though if Tim was standing it wouldn’t have been so obvious. And Josh was right, there was a small part of his belly at the bottom of his shirt that was starting to peak through. Tim didn’t really mind, though. He had always been a bit chubby as far as he could remember.

But now that there were plates of cookies and brownies in front of him again Tim’s mind wasn’t focusing on his weight, but rather the cause behind his weight. He started to stuff his gullet with the treats faster than anyone would expect someone of his size to. Still, if anything would cause him to be this eager, it would be good food. Tim ate so fast he was starting to get messy with his food, wanting to devour the tasty treats in front of him instead of monitor his hygiene. He figured no one would mind anyways, since all of the guys in his group were cool with each other.

As gooey chocolate covered the edge’s of Tim’s mouth and chocolate chips fell to the floor, Tim was starting to finish up this next batch of treats. He went to sit back and enjoy the sight of an empty plate, but was surprised to see more cookies and brownies left on the dish. In fact, there looked like there were more than when Josh had left the plates originally. His glass of milk was even full again, too. Tim just shrugged off the eerie occurrence, figuring he had just missed Josh put out more to eat and drink while he was busy eating.

This cycle continued for a bit, with Tim continuing to eat without questioning as to why more food was out for him to eat. However, there came a point where Tim finished all his milk and looked down at the plates to see that nothing was left; Josh hadn’t come to refill them. Tim smiled knowing he could now take a break, leaning back and letting out a big belch.

“I hope you enjoyed the snacks, big boy.” Josh teased as he jiggled Tim’s belly. Tim, again, just chuckled and knew Josh was right.

Tim’s belly lifted up his shirt completely, and it was even starting to show a bit of his moobs too. They wrapped around his body, creating a roll all on their own as well as starting to push Tim’s arms up a bit. Tim’s pants weren’t fairing well either, being pushed to their limits by his thicker thighs that were as wide as a person at a normal weight’s waist. His two, huge globes that made his butt also strained his pants, taking up one entire couch cushion and starting to creep over into the other 2 cushions. Tim’s face wasn’t spared from his weight either, having a second chin as well as cheeks that made him look like there was always food in his mouth.

“I might be big, but you don’t have to keep teasing me about it.” Tim joked, rubbing his belly.

“But if I don’t tell you you’re getting fat, who will?” Josh teased again, slapping Tim’s belly causing it to go into a frenzy of a jiggle.

“Besides,” Josh continued, “I think you like all this weight anyways.” Josh sat down next to Tim and started to stroke his flab. “You could’ve just worked off this weight, but instead you keep putting more and more on.” Josh said seductively, almost as a whisper. He continued to stroke Tim’s fat and jiggle it occasionally. “I remember freshman year, when you were just chubby. Now look at you! You’re definitely fat! How long until I get to tease you for being obese? Maybe I already can do that!” Josh teased some more, jiggling Tim’s right moob to emphasize the point.

As Josh continued his work on Tim, Tim started to feel something under his gut. A longing in his groin that he needed to satisfy. He let out a moan as Josh continued to go over his body, realizing just how big he was. Tim tried to reach under his belly to relieve himself, but he couldn’t get past his big belly.

Josh devilishly smiled watching the horny fat boy try to pleasure himself, only to be denied by what turns him on the most. “Don’t worry chubby, I’ll help.” Josh offered, reaching his hand under Tim’s big belly. Not long after that Tim let out a much louder moan, confirming to Josh that he found what he desired. He slowly jerked the fatty off, dooming him to love his fat even more than before. Tim just let out orgasmic moans, submitting to Josh if only for pleasure.

As it turns out, Tim was quite easy to please as he came shortly after Josh started to jerk him off. “Now that you’ve been taken care of, I hope you’re ready for more treats!” Josh cheered as he cleaned his hand off.

“Yes! Please more!” Tim merely shouted, eager to eat more of whatever Josh baked for him.

This time it turned out to be more brownies and cookies, as well as cupcake and donuts too. If Tim wasn’t so eager to dig in, he would’ve noticed these treats were much larger than before, and larger than any version from any place that sells baked goods. The cookies were at least an inch thick with many more chocolate chips, the brownies looked to be double the width of the cookies, the cupcakes were 5 inches tall with the icing being the same if not larger than the actual cupcakes, and the donuts looked as inflated with fat as Tim did, looking less like rings and more like piles of dough with icing on top of them.

Tim didn’t bother with any of those details though, and just decided to eat what was served to him. He continued to eat as he did before, not caring that he made a mess as he did so. Now, however, with more of his body exposed he was able to get more of the mess on himself instead of his surroundings, though chocolate and icing did spread around Tim too. Icing got around Tim’s mouth, chocolate sauce got in between his moobs and his rolls of fat and crumbs accumulated nearly everywhere on him -- even in his bellybutton!

Tears could be heard as the boy continued to gorge, his clothes becoming a thing of the past. Tim also didn’t bother to notice that the treats never dwindled in amount, as he was too busy focusing on which he would eat next to care if he was close to running out. He never was in danger of running out, though, as there seemed to be an endless supply of the treats for him to eat! If Tim knew this, he would’ve been ecstatic about it, but the piggish boy was too busy stuffing himself to gluttony and back to care.

As Tim continued his pig out, he was started to let out more belches as he ate. It was as if whenever he took a break to take a long sip of milk he would let out a loud, long belch. Of course, the glass of milk was larger than it had originally been, but the size of Tim’s belch couldn’t have simply been caused by drinking more milk. That wasn’t to mention his farts, which started to ramp up the more he ate. He was letting out more and more gas the more treats that got in his tummy, and he seemed to be enjoying it all. His love for fat seemed to be leaking into all these other traits, so the more he ate the more he desired for, well, more!

Sadly for Tim, when he went to grab more treats his chubby palm found nothing but empty ceramic. He had finally eaten all his treats up! And, as if on cue, Josh came in to check on the boy.

“Wow, I didn’t think you would eat all of my baking, but I’m glad you’re enjoying it so much you fatso!” Josh joking, giving a slap to Tim’s gut, causing Tim to let out a humongous belch. He also giggled a bit, but more at his belch than Josh’s joke about his weight.

“God you’re huge, I mean just look at you!” Josh said, acting astounded.

“Yeah, I know. I’m pretty fucking fat!” Tim stated, almost as if he was proud of the fact.

And Tim was actually pretty fat. His stomach was so huge that none of his shirts fit completely over it and usually he just didn’t put on a shirt, like he was doing now. He figured his friends wouldn’t care if he was shirtless. Besides, he hadn’t come over to Josh’s house for anything major, right? He had somehow forgotten why he was at Josh’s place. It was probably just to taste test Josh’s food, since Josh knew he loved to eat tons.

Tim’s moobs sat atop his big belly, almost as if they were being shelved there. They were each the size of a grapefruit, with his nipples erect from how big he was. Tim tried to grasp them in his hands, but he couldn’t quite get all of his moob in one hand, just showing how big they were.

His legs were incredibly thick too, now being as thick as tree trunks at the thinnest part, and being incomparably wide at the wider parts--namely where his thighs and butt met. However, his pants were tough enough to stay on, though there were many rips on the jeans. Tim figured having some pants on was better than having no pants on, even if his rear was almost completely visible because of how much the back of his pants were torn. Speaking of his rear, Tim’s butt cheeks were each the size of an exercise ball and were starting to creep into the adjacent couch cushions. They jiggled like mad whenever he let out gas, and that jiggling only encouraged Tim to be gassier, as the feeling brought great pleasure to him.

Tim’s face looked like it was inflated, with his cheeks being jiggly sacks that looked like they were filled with lard. His chins, totaling in three, were hanging down from his face, causing it to be difficult to look down towards his belly. Tim didn’t mind, though, as they reminded him of how big he was.

Speaking of Tim’s affection for his fat, Tim’s hardness in his crotch hadn’t gone away since Josh had pleasured him moments earlier. Which was weird, because from what Josh had heard from the big boy while he was eating had suggested he came multiple times while he ate. Either his libido was that strong or Josh misunderstood, but judging by how loud Tim’s moans were when he was eating Josh was assuming the prior.

“Where’s more food? I’m hungry.” Tim asked demandingly as he rubbed his huge belly, letting out a fart as he did so.

Josh laughed, and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” He walked into the kitchen and brought back a sight that made Tim’s huge body jiggle up and down with excitement.

On the plate was a towering cake, covered in icing-both vanilla and chocolate-as well as chocolate fudge which oozed from each layer down to the next. Before Josh could even say “Dig in” Tim was already attacking the cake with his bare hands, not really caring that a fork and a knife were on the table in front of him. To him, eating with his bare hands was the fastest way the food would get in his stomach, so he didn’t care that it was also the messiest way to get the food in him.

Chocolate covered Tim’s hands and the edges of his mouth as he feasted on the cake. It had to be almost twice the size of a wedding cake, but Tim acted like it was completely normal. That, or he didn’t care that the cake was huge, just that he was hungry. It was probably the latter, because he got chocolate and icing all over his hands, which got all over his belly when he went to go rub his stomach while eating.

What Tim also didn’t notice is that the huge cake wasn’t really diminishing in size. Much like his last gorge on the plates of baked goods, the cake still seemed like it had been untouched by Tim. Though, much like with the previous meal, Tim didn’t notice and just ate to his heart’s content. He cared more about getting the food in him than how much of it was left.

As Tim ate, the sensation under his gut started to be less cyclical, with ups and downs of the feeling, and more of a constant pleasure. He felt like he needed to be constantly pleased, his appetite for food only fueling this desire, ironically enough.

His gas also became constant, and the boy started to sweat a lot more too. It was most likely from all the weight on his body, but there was no denying it was a bit excessive. Drips of salty exhaustion went in between his fat folds, fell off his arms and swam down his body to his thickened thighs.

After what seemed like an eternity, but hadn’t actually been more than half an hour, Tim had finished the cake. Just like with the rest of his meals he let out a belch, but this belch was something more than the other ones that had preceded it. This belch shook the entire house, and Tim’s body for a good few seconds with it.

“Seems like you enjoyed the cake, huh piggy?” Josh teased Tim, slapping his fat which caused some of the sweat to fly off the Tim’s entire body to jiggle vigorously.

“Yeah!” Tim started, his statement interrupted by a fart he laughed at. “I want more! I’m so hungry!” The boy whined, jiggling his body in frustration.

“Don’t worry, you’ll never be underfed while you’re here. But I have a surprise for you, it’s upstairs though, do you think your huge body can make it?” Josh asked, though he was still poking fun at Tim.

Tim was never really known for his movement. He barely left the house unless it was for a good reason. And his size was a testament to that. He had a gut that went down to his knees when he stood up, and when he was sitting it still went to his knees! It jiggled at the slightest movements, and with how gassy Tim was known to be it was almost constantly jiggling. Tim enjoyed the feeling though, as if it was a constant, subtle tickle, so he was pretty gassy a majority of the time.

On top of his belly sat two moobs that outclassed any woman’s breasts you’d ever seen. Tim liked to grope them as he ate, which resulted in them getting even messier than they usually would be. They sank under his arms, due to how big they had gotten, and his nipples were constantly erect with how much Tim loved to eat. Tim’s arms were quite thick, too, being twice the size of a normal person’s waist. Tim didn’t move them much other than to eat, though, and he was starting to get thoughts of asking people to feed him since he didn’t want to use all the work to move his arms to eat.

If his arms were thick, then his legs were enormous. They were spread halfway onto the other couch cushions, making it difficult for anyone else to sit on the couch besides Tim. Tim’s legs almost held all of his belly when he sat, but a bit of the edge sank off. Even still, they could hold a dozen kids and still have a bit of room left over. The didn’t look suitable to moving, but Tim wasn’t doing much of that normally anyways. He had gotten a ride over to Josh’s house, after all.

Tim’s face was also filled with fat. His cheeks were starting to mess with his eyesight, and he had 3 rings of chins going around his face when he sat down. He didn’t seem to mind, even if it caused him to be even messier as a result.

“You’ll need to help me...up there.” Tim panted out, trying to get up on his own.

Josh went over to Tim and helped the blobby boy up, with Tim letting out a fart as he got up. He laughed a bit and then placed his arm around Josh’s neck so he could be supported. Then, slowly but surely, the two started to walk upstairs. Well, Tim waddled, but that was besides the point. Tim was already drenched in sweat by the time he was at the stairs, and he was sounding like he was out of breath too.

“Don’t worry, we’re almost there. And it’ll be worth it too!” Josh encouraged, which helped Tim lift his his huge up each stair. He was struggling a bunch, but the promise of something great encouraged the greedy glutton further.

Once Tim was upstairs, Josh led him to a bedroom and opened the door. What he saw at first shocked him

“Tim!” A hugely fat blob cheered out, jiggling a ton as a result. He looked to be around the same size as Tim and munching on some donuts while watching some mindless show on the flat screen TV to the right of the king sized bed he was on.

“Aren’t you glad to see Austin, Tim?” Josh asked, though he had a sinister tone behind his question.

Tim’s brain was wracked with questions. How did Austin get here? Was he always so big? What was even happening today and why was his memory so fuzzy?

Josh noticed Tim’s confusion and decided to clear it all up.

“Doesn’t he look so sexy?” Josh asked, but it was more of a suggestion than anything.

Tim, who was once wrought with worry, now looked like he was going to drool over his best friend. “Yeah...he’s so big and hot.” Tim mumbled out.

Josh had to stop himself from laughing and helped move Tim onto the bed. Again, it was a struggle, but Tim managed to fall onto the bed. Josh then shoved Austin onto his stomach, who continued eating his donuts in front of him. By some instinct, Tim knew what he wanted to do and started to maneuver his way towards his knocked-over friend. After a few seconds, Tim had inserted himself into Austin, who gasped at the sudden feeling. He kept eating, though, while Tim started to fuck him.

As Tim continued to have sex with his best friend, memories started to flood back to him for seemingly no reason. He remembered that he actually lived here, because no one could handle Tim and Austin’s appetites besides Josh, and that their families had kicked them out because they ate so much. And Tim realized Austin was actually his boyfriend, who he loved dearly. Him being huge was an added bonus, with Tim realizing how much he loved fat while memories came back to him. He loved being huge, just being able to eat, and having no responsibilities. Tim thought he was forgetting something, however. Like a responsibility he had to complete for some reason. As he came into Austin, however, he quickly forgot about it. He never had any responsibilities. Just eat, grow and have sex with his beautiful boyfriend Austin. He sat back, the bed drenched in sweat now, let out a huge belch and decided to eat and watch whatever was on TV with Austin.

Downstairs, there was a knock at the door.

“Ah, Dylan! Tim and Austin said they’d be here soon. Would you like to try out my baking in the meantime, though?” Josh asked.

#weight gain #weight gain stories #gay weight gain story #male weight gain

982 notes · View notes

encrucijada · 3 years

Note

for fae velázquez and marilú: what do they smell like and what animal would they be from the ask meme✨☺️

azzy, respeto tu intento de acortar las preguntas pero reafirmo mi autoridad como la autora respondiéndolas todas de todos modos. here are my two seaside babes 💕

🌹fae velásquez —

what they smell like: something spicy like cinnamon, ocean breeze, sand, is it possible to smell like sun heat??

what their favourite smells in the world are: the ocean, freshly cut grass, cologne

what pyjamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: if the shirt she wore during the day is comfy enough she will sleep in it and just change her pants. usually to a pair of cotton shorts.

my favourite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: i love fae paired with any of the members of her polycule equally... but for the sake of keeping this short i am going with raf x fae. before fae came to me and told me she was poly he was her original love interest. they are the masters of casual kisses that aren't on the mouth, i'm talking cheeks and forehead and hands. just all the time. raf is a tall person and fae is not, but she will do everything in her power to kiss his forehead if it means bringing him to her level by force.

my favourite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: fae's only friends are the people in her polycule because no one can deal with her lmao. i'm picking jo x fae. and here's the cute fact about them (not really a hc since it's, well, canon): they move in together shortly after finishing high school, renting this shitty room on the second floor of a shop, and because they barely have any space they have one bed they share. they sleep tangled like kittens. jo wakes up almost everyday with fae's hair on his face.

a song that reminds me of them: fae's theme is rock + roll by eden. "they tell me, i've got something more / and oh, you could be loved / but i don't want the lights to / find me when i'm dark and lost, but never on my own"

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: i'm thinking magpie because it's a clever bird with a pretty voice that will probably steal your shit

what position they sleep in: on her stomach, wrapped around whatever she has within reach. be it a pillow or a person.

their favourite drink: cookie ice cream milkshakes

a gift i would give them if i could: a pretty pocket knife

🌊marilú —

what they smell like: clothes that didn't dry properly, old book that spent the better part of its life in a closet, the ocean

what their favourite smells in the world are: pine tree, vanilla candles, coffee beans

what pyjamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: a pair of heavy flannel pants and a fuzzy sweater over a plain cotton shirt

my favourite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: no ships! marilú is aro/ace

my favourite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: marilú and her boss, mostly because she doesn't have that many friends and i don't think her eldritch companions count. marilú's unnamed boss has the taxing job of making sure this enby he's paying remembers to stay alive. whenever she comes to shore he invites her to lunch and they have a grand time sitting in a restaurant in silence together.

a song that reminds me of them: arsonist's lullabye by hozier. "all you have is your fire / and the place you need to reach / don't you ever tame your demons / but always keep 'em on a leash"

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: a coyote, pack animal that prefers to be alone when in action

what position they sleep in: doesn't matter because she rolls around so much in bed her sleeping position is "tangled in her bedsheets"

their favourite drink: lemonade and chia water

a gift i would give them if i could: matching woollen gloves, hat and scarf

#answered #( wip ) dtst #( wip ) coughing roses

3 notes · View notes

padfootagain · 4 years

Text

A Very Rose Mistake (VII)

Part 7: How A Mistake Was Made

Here we go for a new chapter!! You're finally going to understand where the title of this series comes from!!

I warn you, this is angsty. The flashback is angsty. Sorry… you'd better get some tissue before diving into this!

I hope you like it all the same! Lots of explanation here again thanks to the flashback! The next chapter will be more about the present days again.

I hope you like this! Don't forget to tell me what you think about it, I most definitely need a little help to write these days!

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 5951 (sorry it's a bit long)

Holmes Chapel, 2011

It was Valentine's Day. He was 17 and his world was changing at a speed he couldn't comprehend.

It was great, for the most part. It was completely crazy, actually: he was making an album. He was going to sing and travel around the world. How mad was that?

When he had left Holmes Chapel, he thought he would be back in a week. Maybe two. It would be a fun thing to discuss with you. How mad it was. How weird the whole experience had been, but let's be honest, he was only 16 and he wasn't mature enough for anything as big as this. He would slip back under his covers in his bedroom, and you would cuddle together while watching stupid videos on youtube that made you have this loud and uncontrollable laughter, and you would hide the bag of chocolates you had smuggled into his room when Anne would climb up the stairs.

But he didn't come home at all.

Instead, he went through the whole show, and after the X-factor was done, he was pushed into London City. It had been almost a year, and you had barely seen him.

It was strange to walk the same streets without him. It was strange to not have him sitting next to you in class anymore. It was strange to not go to his house after school every night and eat with him and Gemma while watching some dumb show on TV. It was strange not having him pushing you around on the way to school whenever you weren't quite awake yet.

And the truth was, it was unbearable almost, the way you missed him.

The hurricane he had been caught into was just as strange for him than it was for you, and he missed you just as much as you missed him.

And this shift in your relationship that had appeared right before he would leave had been on hold ever since.

You had almost kissed that evening. If Anne had not opened the front door right at that moment, you would have kissed. And as he was to leave the next day, he didn't bring the moment you had shared again. He reckoned that he ought to tell you how he felt face to face.

He wasn't quite sure what it meant yet being in love with someone, but he reckoned that if he had to give a definition, he would have given your name as an answer.

He was a little lost, and he wasn't sure of how he felt exactly, because he had never experienced anything like it before, but what he was certain about was that he wanted to explore whatever this was. He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to cuddle with you and hold you tight and peck your nose. He wanted to be close to you all the time, it drove him insane.

And when he had been given the opportunity to go home for Valentine's day, he believed in a sign.

You couldn't come to celebrate his birthday in London, so you had promised to spend the weekend with him whenever he would come. And it started tonight.

Harry checked his reflection in the mirror of his old bedroom one last time, straightening the collar of his white shirt under his jersey. A red rose was resting on his bed, and he checked once again that the leaves had not suffered from the lack of water during the past 15 minutes. But they were not wilted, and he looked with satisfaction at the flower.

Romantic. Perfect. Because tonight was the night when he would ask you to be his girlfriend.

And if he were honest, he found that this prospect was scarier than walking on that stage for the first time and sing before a jury.

What if you said no?

But he pushed the thought away. Because that night, a year ago, you had almost kissed him too.

But a year had passed...

Yes, a year had passed, but he was certain that you didn't have a boyfriend. You hadn't mentioned anything to him or to Gemma, and that meant that you were single. He wasn't in Holmes Chapel anymore, but he was still your best friend.

Hopefully, that would change tonight though.

He walked down the stairs with his rose in his shaky hand. Anne eyed him from the living room, pretending to watch TV. When he struggled to arrange the collar of his black winter coat though, his mother couldn't help but walk over to him. She gently pushed his hands away and fumbled with the soft material until it was folded just the right way. She gave her son an encouraging smile and pinched his cheek affectionately.

"Good luck."

"I think I'm gonna throw up," he admitted, before turning to the door.

"It's only Y/N. It'll be fine," Anne encouraged him.

She crossed her fingers for him and he reciprocated the gesture before walking out of the house and into the cold air.

The wind bit down on his cheeks, making them flushed and painful. He ignored the sensation though, and hurried down the path and towards your house.

How many times had he walked this same path leading to your house? Thousands and thousands of times, without a doubt...

It was the evening already, and February coming with its shorter days, it was already pitch-black outside. It had snowed that morning, and the grass and pavement all around the street were covered with half-melted ice. The rooftops were of an immaculate white, although the lampposts scattered down the lane were barely enough to show them. The clouds of the morning had cleared through the afternoon, and the night sky was stained with pale stars. The moon though was nowhere to be seen.

And for the first time in twelve years, he was nervous as he knocked on your front door, the same red paint that had always been there, chipped at the corners and a little diluted by the sun.

You were quick to open the door, and Harry could have sworn that he was having a heart-attack as he saw you again.

You were wearing a simple pair of blue jeans and a warm sweater. Simple. Comfy. The most adorable sight he had ever seen

You were even more beautiful than the last time he had seen you for real... how were you even human at this point?

"Hi, Y/N..."

But he was cut short as you threw yourself at him, sure that he would catch you. And he did, he always did.

You both laughed, your nerves slowly dissolving as you held each other tight.

"Harry!"

"It's me," he nodded, chuckling some more.

"I've missed you so much... I can't believe you're here!"

"I've missed you too. So much!"

"You have so much stuff to tell me. And I have too. You'll never guess who Jeremy ended up with."

"Jeremy? With Ashley?"

"With Leila."

"What?! No way!" He exclaimed, pulling away just enough to look up at you as he was still carrying you, your legs now wrapped around him like a koala.

You nodded with shock all over your features.

"You'll tell me everything. I need to know what kind of drama could have unfolded to lead to these two getting together."

He pressed his face into your neck again, right where it belonged, and you closed your eyes as his warm breath hit your skin softly, a vivid contrast with the cold air of the early evening.

Finally, he gently put you back down, feeling that you were starting to shiver in the cold weather.

And at last, you noticed that he was holding a rose in his hand. You looked up at him questioningly, and Harry was certain that he was going to either throw up or pass out then.

He opened his mouth to offer to go inside to talk because it was awfully cold outside, when someone new appeared on the threshold.

And Harry froze.

It was a boy. Around your age. He had never seen him before.

Who…? What…?

"Oh, Harry, this is Joel! Jo, this is Harry!"

Jo?!

"Hi, man!" Joel shook Harry's hand.

"Hi."

Who was that guy, and what was he doing here? It was the evening, and it was Valentine's Day, and it was the day Harry finally came home to Holmes Chapel and…

Oh…

You had a boyfriend…

"Why don't you come in, Harry?" you offered, but your best friend was still staring at Joel.

You… you had a boyfriend?

"Harry?"

You tilted your head to the side, frowning at him. You were shivering in the cold now, your teeth chattering before you would clench your jaw to stop the shaking. Your breath drew patterns in the light coming from your house behind you. And you were breathtaking, as always. You were absolutely perfect.

You had a boyfriend.

Harry tightened his hold on the rose without noticing, until a thorn was piercing the flesh between his thumb and forefinger.

"Uhm… Actually, I was just saying hello, but I got to go."

"Oh, okay…" you nodded, although you were clearly disappointed.

"Yeah, I… I've got to go."

"Still busy because of the band?"

"Uhm… No, I… I've got something to do."

You looked at the rose again, and then at his eyes, your gaze travelling back and forth a few times.

Of course, you were wondering what he was doing with this flower in his hand.

And he could have given it to you. Given you the benefit of the doubt. Gone forth with his plan anyway. Asked about your boyfriend.

But it seemed wrong and mean and all in all, useless. You had found someone else, and on one hand he was the one to blame. A year had passed since that moment you had shared in his house, and so much was different now. He should have asked you about all this before, instead of waiting for you to be gone. He was too late, that was all.

And maybe he had given the moment too much meaning. Maybe you didn't mean much by it. Maybe you had forgotten about it altogether.

And there he was with a rose for you after spending months building his hopes up. What a fool he was… What an absolute idiot…

"Hmm… yeah, I… I've got to go see Melanie."

"Melanie?"

"Yeah, I… I have a date."

Your expression remained unreadable, although he saw the way your jaw clenched. But he attributed the symptom to the fact that he had promised to spend some time with you tonight, and your best friend was bailing out on you.

Yes, that was why you seemed confused, and a little sad.

"Oh," was your only answer.

He nodded, taking a step back.

"Will you still be here tomorrow?" you asked, following him one step further, chasing after him even if for a single step, the way you always had and always would.

"Yeah, I'm leaving in a week."

"Can you… Maybe we could go to the cinema tomorrow or… just… chill and catch up?"

"I… I don't know, Gemma's back too to see me so…"

"Oh, okay…"

"And I want to spend some time with my mum too, so..."

"Of course, you… you don't see her that much either."

"Yeah."

"Well, just… tell me when you're free, okay? I… I've really missed you and I… I really want to catch up with you."

"Okay. Goodnight, Y/N."

"Good night, Harry."

Before you could say anything else, Harry had turned on his heels and was hurrying down the street. He turned left to cross through the gardens and come back to his house discretely. When he knocked at the kitchen door, Anne welcomed him back inside with a deep frown.

"Already? What happened? And why are you coming back from there… we have a front door, you know?"

But he didn't answer and merely rushed inside, throwing the rose in the sink. He was taking off his coat when Anne realized what it all meant.

"Oh… darling, I'm sorry."

She wrapped her arms around her son, but Harry didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"I need to be alone right now," he whispered, but Anne tightened her hold on him.

"Are you sure? You don't want to tell me what happened?"

He struggled to swallow the lump in his throat, his voice made hoarse by pain.

"She… she has a boyfriend," he simply answered, and Anne heaved a sigh.

"I'm so sorry, darling."

"It's alright. It was a long shot anyway."

"Did you ask her about this boyfriend of hers? Maybe it isn't that serious."

"No, I didn't. I just… I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay."

"I need to be alone right now, mum."

"I'm here if you need anything, okay?"

Harry merely nodded, giving his mother a small smile as he finally broke away from her embrace. He hurried upstairs, while Anne looked at him with a pained expression on her face, but there wasn't much that she could do to help.

He walked in his bedroom and closed the door behind him, not bothering in turning on the light, and when he remembered his lie about Melanie, he decided to remain in the dark for a while longer. This same bedroom in which the two of you had spent countless hours laughing and joking around and doing your homework and reading and watching stupid videos of cats on his computer. You had fallen asleep together in his bed during sleepovers. You had broken his shelf while trying to imitate some martial art. You had broken your toe against his bed simply because you were so damn clumsy sometimes. You had played video games together through sleepless nights. You had read your favourite books to him out loud. He still had that sheet of paper upon which you had learned how to write his name in one of his drawers.

His life was so full of you.

He let himself slip down the length of the door until he was sitting on the wooden floor. When had the tears started to flow? He wasn't sure, but they were there nonetheless.

He looked up to his window, through which he could get a glimpse at your bedroom. Your light was on, and through the think curtains, he could guess your shadow moving on the other side of the windowpane. There was another shadow with you, a little taller, and he didn't need much effort to guess that it was Joel. He watched the two shadows moving closer to meld into one broader shape instead. He kicked the foot of his bed as he imagined the two of you kissing. And if he wasn't sure of what his feelings for you meant, he was absolutely certain that the cause behind his pain now was heartbreak.

He tried to look away, focus onto anything but you and Joel wrapped in each other's arms in your bedroom.

Because indeed, you were in Joel's arms at that moment. With your own arms around his neck and your head resting against his shoulder. And it felt nice. You felt better like this, being held.

You reckoned that you were lucky to have your cousin by your side. You were lucky that he had managed to travel for your mother's birthday and stayed for a few extra days. You were lucky that he was there now, with you, to cradle your head in his hand while you cried harder than you had ever cried before.

Because you had waited for a year for Harry to come back. Because you had imagined thousands of times how you would talk about that interrupted moment in his kitchen. Because you dreamt of being held by him instead, and you wondered what it felt like to be kissed by him. And when he had been standing there with that rose, for a moment, you had hoped that maybe the flower was for you. That perhaps he felt the same, had the same anticipation as you did at the thought of the two of you spending some quality time together again, and the same apprehension at the idea of talking about the almost-kiss from the previous year. But then, he had told you the rose was for Melanie, and not for you. It was Valentine's Day and he was going to give Melanie a red rose, the message was loud and clear.

Maybe he had even forgotten about that moment in his kitchen, it was the most painful thought that kept on twirling around in your mind.

Yes, you were glad your cousin Joel was there to hold you while you cried over your first heartbreak.

Loch Lomond, 2020

Now that you were up and eating your breakfast, your hair still damped from your morning shower, you noticed how sore your legs were after the hike of the day before. If you didn't regret at all your long walk in the mountains, as the view from the top was most definitely worth a few cramps now, you still wished you could go back in bed and lay there all day.

But your plans for a restful day didn't match the schedule your cousin had prepared for the week, and there was no way you could refuse Cassie anything the week before her wedding. Which was why you found yourself walking towards the loch with the rest of the guests, chatting with Patrick and your parents. Harry was a few steps behind, lost in a conversation of his own, even though he was sometimes distracted from the words spoken to him because he kept a careful eye on Patrick all the way from the lodge to the shore of the loch, cautious at being as discreet in his surveillance as he could.

Cassie had planned an outing across the loch. She had rented some rowboats for the day, that were merely ten minutes away from the lodge. The idea was to cross the loch with the boats, have lunch on the other side, and explore the forest a little maybe, and then coming back to the lodge for the early evening.

The weather was merciful, the day a little warmer than the previous one, and the sun was bright now that it was high enough in the blue sky. There were barely any lazy clouds to cover the light, and the waters of the loch reflected the clear sky like an azure mirror. The shores were not too muddy thanks to the sunny weather, although the layers of multicoloured skeleton leaves that covered the ground had a tendency to trap the morning dew for a little longer than usual, making the earth still a little wetter than what it should have been. It made your footsteps loud in the quiet morning.

Cassie insisted for you to join her and her fiancée in their boat, so you complied, leaving Harry to share a rowboat with other guests.

It didn't really surprise you to have Cassie insisting on you joining her. You had not seen each other in a very long time because of your studies, and you had lots of things to catch up on. Besides, you were expecting to be questioned about your 'relationship' with Harry.

And indeed, you were not disappointed.

Five minutes into the trip, as soon as you were a few meters away from the other boats, Cassie was more or less abandoning the oar she was in charge of to lean towards you instead, an excited glimmer in her eyes.

"So… you and Harry? I want to hear everything!"

You laughed, shaking your head.

"There's not so much to say about it," you rolled your eyes, diverting your attention from her eager eyes by shaking your drying locks, as if trying to make your hair dry faster.

"Not much to tell about it?! Are you kidding me?! After all these years of the two of you being oblivious morons, you finally are together!"

"We didn't spend years being oblivious morons, thank you very much!" you defended yourself, but your cousin was far from convinced.

"Yes, you did!"

"Honey, you need to help me control the boat," Cassie's fiancée blurted out, struggling with her own oar, but your cousin was too busy with you to care about where the boat was heading.

"How did you two finally come to your senses?" she asked.

"We… had a little bit too much to drink one evening, at a party," you explained, hoping she wouldn't notice that you were lying. "And we ended up… saying things that we wouldn't have admitted while sobber, I guess. And we… kissed. Then, the next day, we talked about it and came to the conclusion that it was for the better that we got it out in the open. And we decided to take the risk and try a relationship."

She let out an excited shriek, letting go of the oar completely, making Amy roll her eyes at her and giving up her own oar as well. She knew your cousin enough to be aware that she wouldn’t be focused on anything but you as long as her curiosity for gossips wasn't satisfied.

"I can't believe it took you guys this long to finally agree to be together!" she swatted your leg playfully. "But then, you both are stubborn and a little stupid, so… not so surprising."

"Thanks for the compliment," you answered with irony, making both the women in front of you laugh.

"And so far, how is it going?"

"Good. It's… it's going great."

"What about the distance?"

"Huh… so far we haven't had to deal with that too much but… we're used to not being around each other constantly so I'm not too worried."

"Yeah, but… it's different between friends and between lovers," Amy replied.

"Uhm… yeah, I guess," you tried to escape her question.

"Has he written songs about you?" Cassie asked, a softness spreading across her features, and both you and Amy chuckled at the sight of the desperate romantic your cousin sometimes was.

"No, he hasn't!" you replied.

"None that you know of, at least!" Cassie replied with a snort. "He was already writing songs about you before you two got together, so he's obviously writing some now too!"

"No, he wasn't!" you shook your head, frowning.

"Huh… yes, he was."

"Of course not!"

"He was! You have to be blind to not realize that yet! He's been head over heels for you for years!"

You rolled your eyes, hoping the gesture would be enough of an answer, because you weren't sure how to respond to her without betraying the truth.

After all, she would know he had never felt this way for you if you told her that he had never, for certain, written any songs about you. Because for all these years, he had never seen anything but a friend in you. There had been one moment when you were sixteen… but then time had passed and had turned the instant in a fading memory. And there was nothing else to be said about it all. He went on to have other relationships, and you did the same, and he fell in love and wrote songs about other people, and never about you. And you were fine with that.

But you couldn’t sell Cassie the story of shared feelings with Harry if you told her that he had never seen anything in you but a friend.

Luckily for you, she dropped that particular subject, to come to another, just as personal and problematic for you to answer.

"And… when did he first say that he loves you, then?"

You scoffed, faking to be a little embarrassed.

"That is none of your business!"

"But he said it then!" Cassie let out another excited shriek. "Knowing him, it must have been awfully romantic," she went on with a dreamy sigh.

By her side, Amy rolled her eyes at her, an amused smile on her lips.

The other boats of the party were drifting across the loch as well, a few meters away and, hopefully, out of earshot. But you were too busy trying to make your way through Cassie's sudden interview to pay much attention to the rest of the guests.

"Anyway, it ought to be more romantic than when Amy told me she loved me for the first time," she threw a knowing glance at her fiancée, who frowned at her in response.

"It was kind of romantic, when you think of it!" Amy defended herself.

"I was sick! I was throwing up in your toilets!"

"I was holding your hair!"

"I WAS PUKING!" Cassie fought back.

"When you think of it, it was kind of cute," you defended Amy with a chuckle. "It meant that she loved you even if she was seeing you being disgusting."

"Exactly!" Amy agreed.

Cassie laughed, before leaning to kiss the fresh pout away from her fiancée's lips.

"You're right. It was kind of cute. Memorable, if anything else."

It was Amy's time to laugh, before leaning for another peck.

And seeing the couple together like this, you had to admit that you were a little jealous. If you weren't complaining about being single, you still had to admit that, looking at these two being adorable together, you wanted that too, one day.

You didn't even notice your eyes drifting away and settling on a colourful jumper in another of the boats, your brain refusing to register the interruption in the movement of your eyes, or who the jumper and the mess of brown curls belonged to.

"Anyway, next question I have to ask," Cassie brought you back to the present, and you settled your attention on her again. "How is the sex?"

You chocked on your own breath.

"What?! What kind of question is that?!" you protested, but Cassie merely shrugged while Amy was exploding with laughter at your reaction.

"Sex can be important in a relationship! Depends on the relationship, of course. Some people don't need that. But Harry is obviously very touchy and horny, like… that's just who he is. So I assume sex is gonna be a part of the relationship that… counts at least. How is it going?"

"Cassie!"

"What? We're all grown-ups! Don't act all shy now!

"I… It's going perfectly fine, thank you for your concern," you answered, clearly embarrassed.

"Good… you won't give me any more details on what's going on down there…?"

"CASSIE!"

"Okay, okay! I was just curious!"

You buried your face in both your hands, groaning in embarrassment.

"Besides, I'm asking cause… I'm a bit worried for you two, if I'm honest."

At that comment though, you looked up at Cassie again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, it's just…" she shrugged, trying to find the right words. "You and Harry don't seem so… different around each other than you were… before. You know?"

It was your turn to shrug.

"We've always been kind of close. And Harry isn't so much in PDA anyway."

"Hmm…" your cousin nodded, but was clearly unconvinced. "I don't know, I just… feel like maybe you're not putting enough… tenderness into it. Okay, he held your hand a couple of times but… you're not kissing, or stealing many glances or… I mean, no more than usual. I don't know, just… I'm worried about you two. A relationship can't work if you don't put efforts into it, and you don't seem to put too much effort into it for now."

You were near panicking by now.

Had you and Harry done such a bad job at selling the whole fake relationship? Even your cousin was doubting you. You reckoned that a conversation with Harry was needed.

But right now, you needed to find an explanation, and fast.

You heaved a sigh.

"It's just… it's a bit weird being together around my parents and the whole family, you know?" you lied, hoping with all your might that Cassie would bite into the bait. "I'd love to be a bit more obvious about it, but then I notice my parents are around, and I feel like a teenager about to get caught snogging her boyfriend in her bedroom by her dad… you know what I mean? And I think Harry kinda feel the same."

Cassie nodded knowingly, before leaning forward and taking your hand.

"I get it. It must be weird to change your relationship with Harry and suddenly come forth with it in front of everyone. Especially when Harry has been your friend and a part of this family for so long now. But… you need to relax. Everyone around here loves Harry, and more importantly, everyone simply wants you to be happy. And it's obvious that your happiness lays with Harry, it's always been obvious. So… relax. Enjoy your relationship and stop caring so much about everybody else. Can you do that for me? Consider it my wedding gift."

You were strangely touched by her caring words, and you found yourself fighting tears for some reason. Maybe it was because Cassie was so genuinely concerned for you and only wanted the brightest happiness for you, it was obvious in her tone and her words alike. Maybe it was because of what she said about Harry and you. It was hard to tell.

But you nodded anyway, choosing to joke to relieve the emotion that filled the air above the loch all of a sudden.

"I'll try, thank you for your advice. But… I've already bought you one of the things on your stupid wedding list, so… that would make too many gifts."

She laughed with you, finally pulling away, and taking back her oar. But she didn't start manoeuvring the boat before one last word was spoken through a tender smile.

"I'm really happy for you, Y/N. He'll make you happy, I know it. He'll love you the way you deserve to be adored. He always has, even when you didn't know he did."

You weren't surprised to find Harry playing with the two young children that were part of the guests. Amy's nephews and nieces were, after all, some of the cutest children you had ever met, and Harry was known for his love for children. So, when you went looking for him to talk about what your cousin had confessed in the boat about her doubts about the two of you, and found your best friend giggling in the most adorable way, chasing after Amy's eight-year-old nephew, in this ridiculous way he had to run sometimes, you couldn't refrain a grin. None of them seemed to notice you as you approached them, they were too busy playing on the shore of the loch. The rest of the two families were setting down blankets and the food needed for the picnic a few meters away, the boats safely dragged up the shore when you arrived to the other side of the loch. And you thought you could use this amount of time when everyone else was busy to have a quick conversation with Harry. But then, you were met with this adorable scene that now unfolded before you, and really, you couldn't interrupt them.

It was as if you were held back by an invisible force, really. All of a sudden, your feet were planted in the ground, and there was no willpower to summon in yourself to make your body move forward. Instead, you remained motionless under the autumnal sun, the wind making the colourful leaves whisper above you, and stared at your best friend being the softest ray of sunshine you had ever seen.

And there it was again. This warm feeling invading your whole chest that you had spent so long trying to banish from your heart. No need to put a name on it. No need to make it harder and more painful than it already was.

Why did he have to be like this all the time? He made it so hard to forget him. And he was so oblivious to it all that you couldn't even be mad at him for it.

Really sometimes, you hated him a little because of it. And as you watched him run around after the child, purposefully missing as he extended his arms to grab the boy, a ridiculous expression on his face as he laughed under the sun, wearing that stupid oversized jumper stained with bright colours of his, his unruly hair a mess of curls shaken by the wind, you did hate him a little. You hated him for making you feel the way you did now.

It took him a couple of minutes to notice that you were there, leaning against the trunk of an evergreen pine tree. Once he spotted you, he shot you a bright smile, before making a silly face that made you laugh despite yourself. It wasn't your fault, after all. He was so goofy sometimes, how were you supposed to resist him?

You shook your head at him, before nodding towards the trees that climbed up the shores, all the way up the slopes of the mountains around the lochs. Harry seemed to catch what you meant, as he sent the children back to their parents, and followed you as discreetly as he could further in the forest.

There were bushes filled with thorns that you almost tore your jeans onto. Only a few meters away, a small clearing filled with purple heather and tall green ferns was splayed in sunshine. Pine trees left their needles everywhere, making a brownish blanket upon the earth. A few colourful deciduous trees finished to paint the scene with touches of brighter colours to stain the blank blue sky. You figured the clearing was far enough to not be heard.

"Everything alright?" Harry asked with a concerned frown when you stopped walking and turned to him with worry painted all across your features.

"I had a talk with Amy in the boat."

"And?"

"And… we're not doing so good."

"What do you mean? Do you mean she's… suspicious about us being together?"

"Kind of. I mean… no, she didn't go this far," you reassured him. "But she asked if everything was alright between us because she thought we weren't… uhm… showing our feelings enough."

Harry heaved a sigh, pinching his lower lip between his fingers, clear sign that he was thinking and worried.

"I told you it was a bad idea."

"Look, we just need to up our game a little. I thought my family would be more easily convinced, but as they clearly don't seem to be buying it, I reckon that we simply have to… put a little more effort pretending."

"So… what do you propose we do?"

"Just… more PDA, I guess."

Harry's cheeks and ears turned crimson, and there was nowhere for him to hide this time.

"Alright. I can do that."

"Let's just… full on pretend we're together, okay? Holding hands, and hugs or whatever… you would do with your girlfriend in public... I mean… with people you know around."

"Okay."

"We can do this, H."

"We don't exactly have a choice at this point, do we?"

You didn't answer, and instead, walked back towards your family to join them for lunch, leaving Harry to meditate on your words on his own.

But then, he reckoned he didn't have a choice. If you wanted him to fully lean in the pretend, then he'd do it. No matter how dangerous that behaviour could end up being.

*****************************************************************

Taglist : @emcchi @fishstick-knows @eldahae @just-damn-bored @retrouvailessx @marvelstudies2020 @boxofteenageideas@ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet@notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky@snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity@i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony@madamrogers @cronias13 @stylesfics-xx @mellamolayla @mariaenchanted@swtxel

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #series #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #writing prompt #event #4700 followers

36 notes · View notes

hailbop1701 · 4 years

Text

25 Days of FicMas

December 19th prompt: The Magical Adventures of the Santa hat

Word count: 1,581

A Kirkian Christmas Set Up

Sort but cuuuute. Read it, love it, write songs about it. It would have been longer if I didn't feel the strong need for sleep. Remember to drink water and love yourself. Cause I love you. I need you so...now you can't leave me. No returns.

-H❤🖖

No one knew where it came from. The damn thing just showed up a few days before Christmas, and of course Captain James. T Kirk had to wear it. The crew snickered and grinned at the little decoration, “Nice hat sir!” one ensign called out when Jim entered one of the rec rooms with Spock following behind; it was a Tuesday night and Tuesdays were always chess days. Kirk grinned at the young ensign, “It’s in the spirit of the holiday,” he bowed his head a tad letting the ball of the Santa hat sway over his shoulder. You sat in a large comfy chair in the corner with an old fashioned book in your hands, you watched as The Captain and The Commander set up at a table right next to you, “Hey Lieutenant, good read?” Kirk asked casually sending you a kind smile. You shrugged glancing at the front of the book, seeing the title was faded somewhat, “Just some Dickens sir. Like you said the spirit in the holiday and all that,”

Kirk gave you a look, “Jim, (Y/N). Call me Jim when we’re off duty,” he ordered. You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, “of course sir,” you said almost teasingly making Jim groan annoyed. “We’ll get there,” he muttered moving a piece on the chessboard, “Which ghost are you at?” he asked not taking his eyes off of the Commander��s movements. “Present,” you answered absentmindedly as you read; Jim smirked making another move, “Most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom unless the writing be erased,” he quoted like he was reading over your shoulder. Raising a single eyebrow you breathed out a laugh, “I’m impressed sir,” you said honestly and Kirk shrugged. “Gotta love the classics, isn’t that right Mr. Spock?”

The Commander looked up from the game in front of him toward his superior, “Yes Captain. I too enjoy old Earth literature. I find the works of George Orwell and Oscar Wilde fascinating,” he said as he moved a rook to the next level of the board. Jim narrowed his eyes in thought, “I love Tolkien personally,” he murmured. You chuckled and nodded, “I knew it! I totally pegged you as a Lord of The Rings fan. Ginly owes me fifty credits,” you grinned at the prospect. Kirk barked out a laugh, “Well I’m glad I could help you out. Let me know if I can do anything else for you,” he winked. You huffed mildly amused but not exactly surprised; Kirk was a known flirt so you didn’t think anything of it. You certainly didn't notice him check the time.

The conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence until Sulu and Chekov collapsed into the chairs by you to watch the ‘exciting’ game going on between The Captain and Commander. “Nice hat sir,” Sulu complimented flicking the white puffball so it swung and smacked Kirk in the face, the man scrunched up his nose in response. He took off the Santa hat and threw it in Sulu’s face with a huff, he moved another piece on the board calling “Check,”

Sulu pulled the hat from his face and secured it on his head with a snicker, “Checkmate,” Spock announced making Kirk curse under his breath. Spock raised a single eyebrow but otherwise said nothing and began to reset the board. Glancing up from your book you saw that Kirk was whispering lowly to Sulu who was grinning madly, ‘Oh this is going to end badly,’ you thought with a snort. Shifting in your chair so your legs were now over the arm you looked up again when the rec room door swished open. Scotty and Uhura were walking through talking about upgrades for the comms relay, Kirk jerked his head toward the CE smirking. Sulu bounced up and whispered hurriedly into Scotty’s ear, “What are you planning Jim?” Uhura asked dryly walking to Spock’s side, arms crossed over her chest she leaned against her boyfriend. You gave her a little wave in greeting before getting back to Dickens.

Scotty grinned at the little plan Kirk had cooked up and gave Sulu a little salute. Hikaru deposited the Santa hat on Scott’s head and watched him scurry out the door. You didn’t notice Sulu casually get close to your chair before it was too late, the helmsman snatched the aged book from your hands and raced out the rec room doors like a bat out of hell. “Damnit Hikaru!” you shouted floundering in your chair. You flipped out of the thing landing on your hands and knees, jeans getting dirty on the floor and mild stinging on your palms didn’t stop you from chasing the man out the door. Uhura stood there shocked and wide-eyed for a moment, “Okay Jim seriously what have you cooked up!” she scolded. She stopped abruptly noticing Spock hadn’t said a word or did his customary eyebrow raise, “you’re in on it,” she accused looking between the Captain and his second in command. “Let’s just say we know a couple of people who need...a little push,” Jim explained moving a knight on the chessboard. He looked up at Uhura with a cheeky grin and nodded at Pavel who pulled out a PADD with Enterprises schematics. It took a moment for the comms officer to catch on but when she did she couldn’t help but grin, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but damn Kirk you’re a genius,’ she said gracefully plopping down in your vacant chair. Jim grinned and held out his arms in a “Ta-da” motion.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Scotty dashed through the corridors of the Enterprise like his life depended on it; mostly because it did. He poked a bear and now he was running from said bear; that metaphorical bear was the ship’s CMO Leonard McCoy. “Damnit Scotty come back here!” McCoy shouted eyes blazing. Montgomery Scott refused to say that he was afraid of anything but at that moment he practically screamed like a “Wee lass,” as he ran through his lady. Glancing over his shoulder he saw McCoy gaining on him, yelping Scotty picked up the pace hoping to get to the drop-off point in time.

Scotty whooped when he saw Sulu at the end of the corridor running toward him with you hot on his heels. “Drop it, Scotty!” Sulu shouted passing by the man dropping the book he was holding on the floor before continuing like hell itself was after him. Scotty bent down and gently dropped the object he was holding before sprinting past you. Santa hat flying off his head he dove into an empty turbo lift laughing hysterically as the doors closed him in. You skidded to a stop before you tripped over the object Scotty dropped on the floor, panting you picked up the hat and what looked to be a holo frame. Looking down you saw a smiling little girl with a missing front tooth, “I think this belongs to you,” you said holding up the picture. McCoy huffed and picked up your book from the ground, “Dickens?” he asked impressed. You blushed and held out the picture frame, “ I like the classics,” you mumbled nervously. Leonard smirked as you traded items, “My daughter just finished To Kill A Mockingbird,” he said weighing the frame in his hands. You grinned, “I loved that one when I was little,” you said excitedly. “How did she like it?” you couldn’t help but ask. McCoy chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, “She loved it if I could guess by the video message she sent me,”

You were walking back down the corridor with Doctor McCoy when suddenly the lights dimmed and Christmas lights sprung to life lining the walls with holiday cheer. You laughed nervously, “Is it me or are we being set up?” you asked rubbing the back of your neck. Leonard raised an eyebrow, “now darlin’ whatever gave you that idea?” he asked dryly making you giggle. “So this is what he was up to,” you murmur with a shake of your head, “I’m not sure if I’m gonna kill him or…” McCoy trailed off muttering curses under his breath. You bit your lip to keep from smiling, “Well better make the most of it, “ you said and placed the Santa hat on your head. Leonard laughed a wide smile breaking across his face; you couldn’t help but follow suit. Your smile caused Leonard to pause his walking, his heart thudded in his chest and his breath caught. He had to admit he had always thought you were beautiful, smart, funny, and genuinely kind but he never dared to ask you out or even if he should. The divorce was such a messy painful thing he didn’t want to experience something like that again. You cocked your head to the side curiously, Leonard cleared his throat nervously. “I uh I’m running out of book titles to recommend to Jo, I was wonderin’ if you could help me make a list…” he trailed off clutching the holo frame in his hands tightly. You beamed, “Of course I’ll help! Does she have a favorite genre?” and with that, you were both off again. You and Leonard talked for a good portion of the night, neither minding waking up tired for shift the next day. For the future was bright and full of new stories to tell. Like the one, Joanna McCoy would ask for every Christmases to come: “The Magical Adventures of the Santa Hat,”

Tags:

@thottiewithashotgun

@lauraaan182

@writerdee1701

@dw-writes

@marvelouslytrekking

@spenceneedsahug

#star trek aos #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy #james t kirk #montgomery scott #hikaru sulu #pavel chekov #mister spock #nyota uhura #25 days of ficmas #reader insert #hailey the queen of typos

42 notes · View notes

pagingevilspawn · 4 years

Text

Spin The Bottle

i’m just gonna come out and say how much i hate this one shot already because it’s seriously bad. i had it planned to be like super cute, but you guys get this so... enjoy. chapter one of LYIALG will be up on Thursday!

a high school au one-shot

____

Josephine Wilson sat on the edge of her best friend Stephanie Edwards' bed, watching as she pulled shirt after shirt, skirt after skirt, pair of pants after pair of pants out of her closet, scattering them across the room as she threw them behind her aimlessly. It looked like a scene of out every young adult movie starring a late twenty year old trying to be sixteen. A total cliche.

"Ugh I can't find it!" her friend exclaimed frustratedly, huffing as she turned back to Jo with a pout on her face.

"Find what?" Jo asks, more focused on picking at the skin on her nails than her friends fashion moment. Damn cuticle, it wouldn't go down without it hurting like a bitch.

"My sparkly black top? You know that one? The one with the sequins and the v-neck..." she trails off in hopes that her best friend would know what shirt she was taking about.

Jo stands up immediately, looking through the closet closely and carefully, not making a huge mess like Steph.

She emerges a few seconds later, holding the hanger the top was on in her right hand with a small smirk on her face. The other girl's jaw drops wide open when she sees the item. "How?!" she exclaims. She'd been looking for the top for at least twenty minutes.

Jo just shrugs her shoulders, though it was probably due to the fact that she didn't flip the closet inside out while trying to find it. Turns out throwing clothes everywhere created and even bigger mess and wasn't helpful in the process of finding lost clothes.

Steph takes the shirt from the brunette, saying 'thank you' so many times Jo lost count. She didn't really see the big deal, it was literally just a shirt after all, but to Steph is seemed like life or death, so she took the gratitude.

The darker skinned girl shimmies out of her shirt before slipping the tank top over her head, adjusting it before turning around to face Jo, smoothing it down as she smiles. "Whadd'ya think?" she asks, spinning around.

The girl lets out a loud wolf whistle, showing her approval. She smirks, looking her friend up and down. "Jackson is gonna lose his shit." she says, referring to Steph's boyfriend, a senior named Jackson Avery, also known as the only reason they were going to the party. Having your best friend date someone a grade older had some serious perks (mainly getting into senior parties, but there were probably some other advantages too).

And she wasn't lying, Steph looked seriously hot in her figure hugging v-neck and ripped black jeans. She'd done simple makeup, but her bold red lip really stood out and made her whole outfit complete.

Snapping Jo out of her thoughts, the curly haired girl studies her, "What are you wearing to the party?" she asks, pinning back some of her baby hairs with a clip as she turns back to her mirror.

"This." Jo says, referring to her dark blue jeans and flannel she currently had on. It was comfy, and it's not like her latest foster family gave enough shits to buy her clothes that hadn't been hand me downs or from dingy thrift stores. Or enough shits to buy her clothes or give her money for them period.

The other girls face curls up, "No."

Jo quirks a brow, "No?"

"Nope, c'mon." she says, dragging the brunette back to the closet. "We're going to a senior party and you wear flannels every day. Tonight, you are gonna show off that fine ass figure of yours." Steph says adamantly, tutting at whatever clothes she didn't approve of as she flicked through the large closet.

Jo shakes her head immediately, making her almost get whip lash from how many times her head went back and forth. "No way Steph. I'm fine." She didn't want Steph's clothes. She didn't want any kind of charity or special treatment. Just because she couldn't afford 'party clothes' didn't mean she couldn't go to parties.

As if her friend read her mind, "It's not charity Jo, it's me begging you to play dress up with me." she smirks, referring to what the two did ever since they were little girls. They would steal Steph's mother's heels and prance around in them, taking bits of jewelry and piling it on their necks, arms, and fingers. Then, they would steal some of Mr. Edwards' shirts and use them as dresses for the royal ball. She misses those times, when all their worries were focused on which of their stiffed animals would be the prince to escort them during their first dance.

How could Jo say no to dressing up? For old times sake, if anything.

So, she lets Steph rummage through the closet once more, giving her full control. Jo couldn't put an outfit together for shit. Ask her a math problem, that was her area of expertise. But fashion? It'd be as useful as asking a brick wall. Actually, a brick wall might be more helpful.

Not too long after, the girl returns with a deep red, slightly ruffled tube top and black ripped jeans similar to her own.

"No way!" Jo exclaims once she sees the top. Sure, it was cute as hell, but seriously, how many times would she need to pull it up throughout the night? Nothing was more awkward looking then watching a girl pull up her top from under her armpits.

Because that was definitely attractive.

"Yes way!" Steph claps back, tossing the items directly at the brunette as she struggles to catch them. Oh yeah, another thing she was terrible at, sports.

"Pleaseeee," she begs, giving Jo her best puppy dog eyes, that she knew she couldn't resist.

Jo opens and closes her mouth, looking more and more like a fish every time she did so. "I don't have the right bra." she argues back lamely, but it wasn't too far from the truth. She'd seen most girls wear either a strapless or lacy bra underneath. She had neither.

"It's padded on the inside. You don't need one." the other girl argues.

To Jo that sounded even more uncomfortable, but she wasn't going to put up a fight now. It wouldn't be of use anyways. Steph would win either way, especially if she used those damn eyes again.

Steph was like her sister, so how was she supposed to say no to her sister?

Jo grumbles something inaudible before making her way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. She slips off her shirt and bra, sliding on the red tube top, thanking the universe that her and Steph were the same size, so it wasn't to big nor too small. She shimmies on the jeans, once again thankful that both her and Steph were size 2's. She honestly hated belts with a passion.

She pats down her outfit a few times, straightening out any crinkles, making sure that she didn't smudge any of her makeup as she pulled the top on. She honestly couldn't do makeup for shit, but she was proud of the minimalistic look she was able to pull together, which consisted of a cheap foundation and concealer, some nude eyeshadow, mascara, blush, and that was it. She was much more focused on trying to save for college than pay for makeup.

When she walks out of the bathroom Steph squeals, making Jo plug her finger's with her ears. The girl could squeal, she'll give her that.

"You look hot Jo." Steph says.

"Yeah yeah. Are we gonna get going, because i'm pretty sure we're already twenty minutes late." the brunette says, combing her fingers through her hair as she glances at the clock, which read 10:27. The party started at ten. Definitely late.

"Let me do this one thing," Steph says, dragging Jo to her vanity and sitting her down on the chair. "Eyeliner." she says, holding up the small tube of black liquid eyeliner.

"Fine." Jo huffs, closing her eye's as she feels the makeup get placed on first her eyelid, then the corner, letting Jo know that her friend was doing a wing. She was glad Steph was practically the queen of eyeliner and only needed to do it once because she wasn't sure how much patience she had in her to sit around. It'd been a rough Friday and all she really wanted to do was drink a beer and maybe make out with a hot guy.

After she opens her eyes she barely has time to say anything before she feels smearing on her lips, letting her know that Steph was putting lipstick on her. She doesn't remember agreeing to it, but again, sisters.

When she gets a chance to look in the mirror she sees that her lips were now a baby pink, the creamy lipstick was smooth and had a nice smell (a huge advantage in her book) and her eyeliner was done to perfection. Thank god for Stephanie Edwards.

The two smile at each other, "Ready?" the darker skinned girl asks just as Jo is about to leave the bedroom.

"Jacket!" she says, slapping a hand to her forehead, barely noticing how a cropped black jean jacket was heading her way before she ends up getting hit straight in the face.

Jo mumbles a thanks as she slips the jacket on, immediately feeling warmer now that her arms were covered. They pair walks down the stairs, saying a brief goodbye to Mrs. Edwards with a wave as they head out the door, making their way to Steph's car.

Steph slides into the driver's side and Jo into the passengers, blasting music all the way to the Avery house, a large white McMansion that already had a multitude of cars parked outside it. The girls get out of the car and walk up to the house, where they can hear techno music blaring from inside. They knock on the door, thinking it would be pointless until none other than Jackson himself pulls it open, greeting them both with a wide smile, jaw nearly dropping to the floor once he sees his girlfriend.

"Might want to close your mouth Avery, wouldn't wanna catch flies." Jo teases, patting the man on the shoulder twice before making her way to the kitchen and grabbing an unopened beer from the fridge. She pops off the top and takes a long sip, immediately feeling relieved as the liquid slides down her throat.

She leans against the counter, sipping on her beer as she watches the party move around her. She wasn't really a party girl. She'd rather spend her nights studying and reading than in crowds, but she had a total of three tests that day and she felt like letting off some steam, and what better way to do that than hang at Jackson Avery's house?

But seriously, partying really wasn't her scene. Sweaty bodies grinding on each other with their alcohol soaked breaths never seemed to be of much interest to her. She makes small talk with Lexie Grey, one of her closest friends as they watch their surroundings, complaining about school and whatever comes to mind.

She's not sure how long they talk for, but she assumes that it's been awhile because before she knows it, Steph is dragging both her and Lexie by the arms up the stairs. "Spin the bottle!" she says, tipsily tripping as she makes her way up the steps.

The other girls exchange glances, but turn back and enter the room Steph was dragging them into, finding to be filled with seniors Jo recognized for the most part. Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, Derek Shepherd, Owen Hunt, Callie Torres, Mark Sloan, Arizona Robbins, Alex Karev, and Jackson Avery sat in a circle, a single beer bottle in the middle of them all.

"I didn't think people actually played this game..." Cristina mumbles, loud enough for everyone to hear, making them murmur in agreement. Jo took a seat next to Lexie, who was next to her boyfriend Mark. She felt a bit out of place, but decided to suck it up. If the game was as entertaining as they made it seem in movies and TV shows then why not enjoy it.

"Shush Yang. Just for that you're going first." Jackson smirks.

The raven head's mouth drops open, groaning before mumbling things incoherently under her breath before speaking up, grinning devilishly. "Fine, but one rule..." she looks around the circle. "You gotta make out with your person." she bites the inside of her lip.

"Unless you feel completely uncomfortable with it." she finishes, knowing that she wouldn't really want to make out with a certain person she called Evilspawn.

A few people give cheers of approval while others moan. This was going to be interesting. She spins the bottle, the cluster of students watching it spin around and around before it lands on Meredith, her best friend.

The guys of the group cheer loudly (mostly Alex and Mark) as the two make their way to each other before crashing their lips together, laughing as they make out sloppily, much to the amusement of the others. Even Jo had to admit that watching the two women struggle to keep a straight face was quite amusing.

Maybe this game wouldn't be so bad after all.

____

So far the group had been playing for about thirty minutes and things had definitely gotten interesting at moments. When Derek landed on Mark the whole room bursted into laughter, Meredith and Cristina pulling out their phones to video the moment. The two men cringed, scrunching their faces up as they straightened their posture before pressing their lips as far out as they would go, only getting a small peck when their lips touched, but that was enough for them to wipe at their lips furiously and start trying to cleanse their mouths with beer. Men.

It was Arizona's turn and she watched the bottle spin around when it eventually lands on Alex, making him try to hide a chuckle, knowing she was a least hoping for a girl.

"I won't kiss you Robbins if you don't want me to." the man says sincerely, making Jo look up from her fingers, a bit surprised. The Alex Karev she'd heard about was a complete ass.

Arizona shrugs it off, her blonde hair bouncing. "Nah, there's a first time for everything right?" she smirks. "You know Karev, you'll be the first guy I've ever kissed." she says, making him nod.

"Can't say you'll be the first girl i've ever kissed." he retorts, making her smack his shoulder.

"Shut up. Okay. Be nice." she reprimands him, leaning forward without warning and capturing her lips on his, holding it for five seconds before pulling away.

Alex raises his eyebrows, he was expecting a peck, but that would work too. "So?..." he trails off.

She shrugs her shoulders, "You're a good kisser." she licks lips. "But girls taste better." she smirks, earning a round of applause and laughs.

Alex chuckles and spins the bottle not longer after Robbins takes her seat, Jo watching it spin around and around until it lands on... her? She hadn't been landed on yet, so it was a bit of a surprise.

The man sends her a crooked smirk as she gets up from her spot relatively nervously before sitting in front of him. Okay no, she was actually really nervous. She didn't know much about Alex Karev other than the fact that he had slept with a good amount of the school and broke lots of girls hearts by not calling them back. He'd kissed a lot of girls, what if he thought she was a terrible kisser?

Shut up Jo-, she's immediately cut out of her train of thought by the man's lips on her's. She was stoic for a split second, before kissing him back, the kiss quickly going from soft to passionate as they feel fire build in the pit of their stomach.

They both forgot everything in that moment, where they were at, who they were. The noise around them faded out until it was just the sounds of their lips moving against each other hungrily, trying to taste as much of they other as they could.

They eventually pull back for air, remembering where they were and that all eyes were on them. Jo blushed at the sight but looked back to Alex, who's eyes were shining with a lust she'd never seen anyone wear before. Alex on the other hand, doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered as he stares at her first in bewilderment, trying to figure out what this girl was making him feel, then smirks, pulling her onto his lap and into another breathtaking kiss. She grips onto his hair as his hands roam her sides.

She knows that this wasn't a part of the game, but she really couldn't care less. Alex Karev could kiss her like that for as long as he wanted.

He knew it was only supposed to be one kiss, but damn, this girl he'd only seen a couple times from the distance was making him want her more and more with every movement that her lips made on his.

He pulls away for a split second, looking at the group who was staring at the pair with wide eyes. "I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon, so somebody take her turn." he mutters gruffly before kissing her once more, slipping his tongue into her mouth as they fight for dominance.

And let me tell you, they definitely did not stop anytime soon.

23 notes · View notes

classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

Text

Meeting and Dating Robert ‘Rabbit’ Nurick

(My gif)(Requested by @westanimagines)

- Although Dusty tried his hardest to lure you in, it was Rabbit who caught your eye after joining Jo’s team. He was older than you, handsome, smart, and completely, wonderfully single.

- It really doesn’t look like it but Rabbit is forty years old, so when you began your attempts at flirting he either didn’t realize what you were doing or didn’t take you seriously. A gorgeous young girl actually being interested in “an old fart like him”? Yeah right. But he decides to play along every now and again anyway.

- His obliviousness to your actual feelings is slightly infuriating but you aren’t about to give up when you’re so close to getting what you want. You just need to be a little more obvious, right?

- So there you were, trying to proposition your crew member so that he would finally realize that you were being serious whenever you hit on him.

- Let’s just say walking out of a hotel bathroom in only a towel worked to finally convince him of the true nature behind your flirting... or at least short circuited his brain enough to momentarily forget all his other thoughts.

“How about we go get some coffee together tomorrow?”

Gulps “Yeah, tha-that would be great.”

- Your first date was at a nice cafe where you could talk in peace. He was slightly embarrassed over the fact that it took him so long to realize your feelings for him which you found adorable. Everyone teased the two of you when you arrived back at camp

- The two of you shared your first kiss a few days later after you happened across him sitting on his own and watching the stars. You sat next to him, letting him point out some constellations to you before he went quiet, his eyes locked on your face.

- You asked him what was wrong and he shook his head with a shy smile. After a bit of prodding he finally admitted that he was just thinking about how beautiful you were. You smiled at him, calling him handsome and giggling as he teasingly replied “oh yeah?”. It wasn’t long before you found yourselves leaning in and sharing a long, sweet kiss.

- Your life may have been a bit crazy but at least you found someone equally crazy to share it with.

- Tasteful pda: a hand on your back or arm around your shoulder, quick kiss here, tucking of hair behind the ear there, etc.

- His favorite pet name for you is “Honey”.

- Teasingly calling him “Bunny”.

- Waking up to soft kisses and the smell of breakfast early in the morning.

- He’s always making sure you have whatever you need.

- Finally someone he can trust with his maps.

- Be prepared to travel a lot because you don’t stay put for long in this line of work.

- His choice of work may be dangerous and exciting but don’t be mistaken, his favorite activities are the same as a 70 year old mans: reading, puzzles, board games, model building, bird watching, etc.

- He firmly believes that spending a quiet night in with you is better than going anywhere else.

- He loves when you run your fingers through and fix his hair.

- Making little pit stops together when you’re on the road.

- Talking about random, specific scenarios and what you’d do in them whenever you get bored.

- He has a bit of a short attention span so sometimes you’ll have to remind him of what he was talking about once he gets distracted by something else.

- Having him read to you. The man has a nice voice.

- Cheek, forehead and head kisses. Just lots of kisses, okay?

- Having dates at random, unique places you come across while travelling.

- He likes being able to give you advice whenever you need. Remember, he’s a wise man; self diagnosed.

- Happily listening to his little explanations on how things work or what things mean.

- He loves asking questions and learning new things about you. He’s got a little compartment in his brain filled with stories of yours.

- He always jokes about how old he is, which obviously really isn’t that old.

- Having your quiet moments interrupted by the others, specifically Dusty.

- The others tease you a lot, mainly the younger boys although Jo gets in a few jokes every now and again.

- If there’s something he can compliment you on, he’s going to do it.

- He’s the perfect gentleman, always opening doors for you, pulling out chairs and helping you up/down.

- Slow kisses.

- Wearing his button ups in the morning and his comfy shirts to bed. He adoringly calls you a thief.

- He’s the big spoon whenever you cuddle, mainly because he’s six foot and likes how nicely the two of you fit together.

- Sneaking around corners together, trying to find some peace, quiet, and privacy.

- Showering together... to conserve water,...you know?

- He’s probably the rational thinker in your relationship. What can I say, he’s just a logical boy.

- You’ll never get lost when you’re with him, it’s quite possibly impossible.

- The two of you have very dangerous jobs so he’s grown quite protective over you. He doesn’t like letting you out of his sight and always tries to stop you when you want to do something particularly dangerous.

- Tight, relieved hugs after things turn out okay.

- If something were to ever happen to you, rest assured he’s the first to come running over, trying to help and seeing if you’re okay.

- He’s always quick to comfort and reassure you whenever things get tough.

- The two of you don’t spend a lot of time with people outside of your crew members so he rarely has a reason to be jealous. But on those rare occasions where he does get jealous, he’ll usually stay relatively calm unless the guy really won’t let up.

- Sitting on his lap.

- Teasing each other constantly.

- The man loves a homemade meal so if you’re a good cook just know you’ve won his heart.

- There’s a 99% chance that your parents love him which is good because he loves them back. He’s always excited to drop by and visit them with you.

- He’s very excited to introduce you to Meg as his girlfriend.

- He can get a little snappy when he’s angry/stressed so the two of you will undoubtedly have a few short arguments during your relationship. Annoying, yes, but nothing a quick apology can’t fix.

- Saying you love each other every day.

- He genuinely can’t wait to marry you, like he’s so ready to, at least somewhat, settle down and start a new life together.

#robert rabbit nurick imagine #robert rabbit nurick headcanons #robert rabbit nurick headcanon #90s movie imagine #90s movie headcanons #90s movie headcanon #twister imagine #twister headcanons #twister 1996 #twister headcanon #rabbit imagine #rabbit headcanons #rabbit headcanon #rabbit nurick headcanons #rabbit nurick headcanon #rabbit nurick imagine

139 notes · View notes

writingwithcolor · 5 years

Text

Jewish characters portrayed as lizards

@protectwoc asked:

I'm writing a story that is a sort of twist on Alice in Wonderland. As a minor part of the plot, one of the minor characters, Bill the Lizard, becomes a human for a few hours. Upon doing research, I learned that the Bill the Lizard character may have been based on Benjamin Disraeli, a Jewish politician. This theory seems to exist only in the wikipedia article for AiW, and not on the page for Bill or Benjamin, but this still makes me nervous. Would it be better to cut this character out entirely?

Well, this book review from 1998 from The Alice Companion by Jo Elwyn Jones and J. Francis Gladstone, which came out the same year, mentions: “there’s a mass of fascinating new arcana. I did not know, for example, that Bill the Lizard was a play on the name of Benjamin Disraeli” so it’s not one of those Wikipedia “facts” that someone added without a source.

Taking him out might be smart and the lowest-energy solution. Another thing you could do is make sure you have separate Jewish characters who are not lizards at all. I do want to commend you for noticing and catching it, though, because the main male character in my Jewish fantasy series spends a lot of screen time as a lizard (or dragon) and I have multiple Jewish reviewers expressing that this was an element they could only feel comfortable with because I was writing from the inside.

If it’s okay to talk about that a little bit - here’s my wizard character Isaac in his lizard form. He’s about to hide in Chef Yael’s tunic so that they can trap a bad guy together, for a fantasy equivalent of “are you willing to wear a wire?” (Yes, the actual line in the book is “are you willing to wear a lizard?” because I couldn’t resist.) The only problem is that she’s got a lizard phobia.

This image would be pretty squicky if she wasn’t also Jewish. Because then it becomes oh no, this poor woman is disgusted by contact with a dehumanized Jewish man, instead of, oh no, this poor woman is disgusted by contact with a creature she doesn’t like, even though there’s a man’s soul inside there. There’s no good pure Christian widow vs. creepy Jewish dude subtext. She’s a Jewish widow with a phobia, that’s all.

I’m not saying that Alternate Universe Christian Shira would have intended deliberate anti-Semitism if Chef Yael had been Christian (and wow, that name is so Jewish that this sentence barely even makes sense to me, LOL!) I just mean that it would be playing into existing subconscious tropes, especially in fantasy, that like to dehumanize us and make us creatures of the earth, like dwarves, or worse.

And you know what? Jewish readers may still have a problem with what I did, and that’s okay. I chose to confront the trope head-on with Isaac because that character is basically my ideal man and if I wanted him to be a dragon and a lizard and whatever else I could reclaim it and make him the most lovable dragon I could. But not everyone in a marginalized group is comfy reclaiming things and that decision isn’t up to gentiles.

Art credit @theloserfish; scene from The Olive Conspiracy.

–Shira

#Jewish #Lizards #stereotypes #dehumanization #animals #Jewish stereotypes #asks

437 notes · View notes

sorenmarie87 · 6 years

Text

You look so comfy

Summary: After spilling something on your shirt, Sam offers you his flannel.

Square Filled: Clothes Sharing

Pairing(s)/Character(s): Sam x Pregnant! Reader, Dean x Jo

Word Count: 1,047

Warning(s): None here.

A/N: This was written for @spnfluffbingo2019 . This started out as a “What if” to my Jo/Dean/Reader fic but I changed a couple of things~ Also shout out to @coffee-obsessed-writer for helping me with this :)

I do not own any of the pictures used in my story aesthetic

“Son of a bitch!” At least the water that splashed back on you was warm. You were supposed to be resting but when you made your way towards the kitchen for a snack, you spotted the sink full of dishes and decided to do them up.

“Y/N, what's wrong? I heard you…” Sam stopped talking as soon as he stepped into the kitchen. He gulped as you turned around to face him. “yell.” You watched him strip off his flannel shirt and hand it to you. “You need to get out of that wet shirt.”

“Right here?”

“Yes.”

“Perv.” Sam snorted out a laugh as you raised the shirt over your head and winked at him. You wiped down your ever growing belly with the dish towel before pulling Sam’s flannel on. You left it so that the top two buttons were unbuttoned. “You realize that you’re never getting this back right?”

“I can always buy more shirts. What I can’t buy is the memory of you right now wearing my clothes. You look so comfy baby.”

“It’s probably the first time in a while that I’ve felt comfy in anything.” You gently rubbed your belly and smiled up at him. “Your children made sure of that.”

Sam chuckled as you took a couple steps forward and wrapped your arms around his waist. “Our children.”

“Nope, yours. They’re acting up, so they are yours for now.”

“Wanna cuddle on the couch and watch a few movies? Dean and Jo will be out of the house all night.” He waggled his eyebrows and you chuckled.

“I can’t believe their first date is tonight. I mean it’s about damn time they admit their feelings for each other.” Your text tone went off and you sighed. “Can you hand me that?”

“Looks like Jo is freaking out…” He looked down at the screen as he unlocked your phone and handed it to you. “I’ll throw this in the laundry and get things set up. Go take care of your friend.” He kissed your forehead, your temple, your cheek and then the corner of your mouth and released you.

“Oh my god, Jo give me a minute.” You heard Sam’s deep chuckle as you walked out of the kitchen and made your way down the hallway.

“I can’t go on this date.” Jo was sitting on the bed with a towel wrapped around her and what looked like her entire wardrobe on the floor. “Nothing is good enough…”

“Wow, I never thought I’d see the day when Jo Harvelle is nervous about going out with a guy.” Jo gave you the finger as you made your way around the pile of clothes. “Babe, look. I’m sure whatever you pick out to wear will knock Dean off his feet.” You glanced down at clothes pile and smiled. You picked up a pair of dark blue jeans and put them on the bed. “None of these shirts are right… Wait a minute, I have just the thing. I need you to put on the sexiest pair of black lingerie you have. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay weirdo.” You blew her a kiss as you padded out of your room towards Sam’s room. You carefully dug through the closet, and shouted in success when you found the shirt you were looking for.

“Jo, I say this as your best friend, but those jeans make your ass look amazing.”

“I wear these all the time.”

“These look brand new Jo, whatever. Here.” She took the shirt from your hands and shrugged it on. “Damn girl. Okay how are you going to do your hair and makeup?”

“I have no idea to be honest. Would you do the honors?” She pushed the brush into your hands and you mindless brushed out her hair. Jo’s hair was naturally wavy, so you braided half and left the rest down. She met your eyes in the mirror and you smiled.

“I’m horrible with makeup, so you’re on your own. Nothing dark, that’s my only tip.”

“Thank you for everything, Y/N. I mean it.”

“Just let me know how everything goes when you get back but if the two of you have sex, please don't tell me. Dean’s like a brother and I don’t need to know about his sex life.”

“I can do that.”

“What are we watching first?” You made it back to Sam who was pulling up Netflix with a grin. “Oh wait, they added a bunch of Monty Python stuff, and there’s a live special I wanna check out, if you don’t mind.”

“That sounds like a perfect start.”

What was the last thing you watched? Your eyes slowly opened as you squinted at the glare from the television. Sam’s arms were protectively wrapped around your baby bump and there was a bowl of melted ice cream sitting on top of your belly. “Dean, is that our future?”

“If we’re lucky.” You smiled at the two of them and chuckled when they realized you were awake.

“Did the two of you have a nice date?”

“Yeah.” Jo squeezed Dean’s hand and the two of them smiled at each other. “I know I didn’t question it earlier but why are you wearing one of Sam’s flannels?”

“I thought it looked for familiar.”

“Well when you spill water on yourself, you need to change into something right?” You could tell Dean wanted to make a joke about something but Jo jabbed him in the ribs before he could say anything. “I know that I look ridiculous, but I haven’t felt comfy in my clothes in awhile.”

“Your pregnant, Y/N. Your body is going through some major changes…”

“And I feel like a whale most of the time.”

“You stop that right now.” You heard Sam’s voice quietly behind you. “You’re beautiful.”

“Sam’s right, even that tent of a shirt, you’re gorgeous.” You felt your face flush and a small smile graced your face.

“Thanks guys. You wanna join us for a movie?”

“Maybe next time.”

You fell back asleep about halfway into the movie you were watching. Dean saw that the two of you were sleeping again, he covered the two of you up with a blanket and shut the light off. “Good night guys.”

Forever Tags - @lovetusk @coffee-obsessed-writer @justballoonfishthings @mirajanefairytailmage @kazosa @wings-of-a-raven @docharleythegeekqueen @clockworkmorningglory @lefthologramdeer @ellen-reincarnated1967 @holyfuckloueh @idreamofplaid @buckyscrystalqueen @ilovetaquitosmmmm @n3rdybird @super-fan-of-all-things @disneymarina @sandlee44 @babykalika2001

#spnfluffbingo #sam x reader #sam x pregnant! reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fluff #dean x jo

288 notes · View notes

fandomoniumflurry · 5 years

Text

The Rover

Jo Harvelle x Trisha Kay Johnston(OFC)

Rating Mature

@spnabobingo Square: Alpha Female

@spnsongchallengebingo Song: Closer by The Chainsmokers

Warnings: abo dynamics, angst, fluff, unbeta’d

word count: 4.6k

taggers: @becs-bunker @keepcalmimthecupcake @janai-mcgarrett @hunterswearingplaid

Want Tagged? Go sign up Here

Wanna read more of my shit? Go Here

Buy me coffee? Go Here

All my life, I was trained in the way of the Omega. I was expected to be a submissive and quiet mate, bearer of pups and able to raise them with softness and compassion, able to cook and clean and please my Alpha, to be the perfect little housewife. I hated every moment of it. The years of schooling and practicing, it was like I was a delicate little princess, locked away in a tower, unable to experience the world and be myself. I could cook but all I wanted was Mcdonalds, I could clean but I wish I could be lazy. I could sew, mend and press my dresses but I just wanted to put on a comfy pair of sweats and stay in my bed. My hair was curled and combed, colored and soft and I wished I could just throw it up in a bun on top of my head or stuff it inside of a beanie.

The only thing I loved about my training is my interaction with children. I adore kids and honestly I wouldn’t mind having pups. I’m good with kids and they love me. I don’t think it has anything to do with being Omega or at least training to be an Omega. I hadn’t even presented yet. People were actually starting to worry that I was just going to end up being Beta, which heaven forbid, would be the worst thing ever. It actually sounds far better than my alternative.

Every woman in my family has been Omega. They pride themselves in the purity of the genetic line. Most of the men have been Alphas but they aren’t as big of a deal apparently. They can be Betas and they wouldn’t be treated any differently. But they’d be looked down on if any of them turned out to be an Omega. Like it’s against nature if we turn out to be anything other than what we’re expected to be. We have no control over our biology, we shouldn’t get shamed or thought less of for what nature chose us to be.

It never made sense to me why women /had/ to be Omega and men /had/ to be Alphas. Who made the rules? Who set the standard? It was like gender identity and sexual preference. It’s your life, who dictates the rights and wrongs for our existence? But I digress. This story isn’t about me climbing up on my soapbox and giving my opinion. This is about how a cute little Omega girl turned out to be a strong Alpha female.

Like I said, I was raised to be an Omega, just like my older sister and my mother before me. Dinner parties, dances, recitals, debutante balls, the whole nine yards. I was a pretty pretty butterfly and yet I felt like an ugly caterpillar suffocating in my cocoon, one that my mother tied wings to and paraded me around in the disguise. I love my mother, don’t get me wrong but she doesn’t know a thing about me.

She knows the girl she created, the young woman she wanted me to be, the woman she was molding me to be. My name is Trisha Kay Johnston, named after my mother Trisha and my Dad Kent. Everyone calls me Kay. I’m the straight little girl, holding onto her purity for the knot of her one true Alpha. But no one knew the real me.

The truth is, I was far from straight and definitely far from pure. I have always led a double life, always been different, never truly the person anyone wanted me to be. I tried to confide in my sister, tell her about the private me but she told me to keep it to myself and it was never brought up again after that. The group of friends I had at school, the private all girls school, saw me one way while the friends I had outside of school never knew about my feminine side.

I had a best friend once, someone who knew me inside and out. It was just for a short time, back when I went to an actual public school with boys and girls and people who didn’t have to wear plaid skirts and perfect little black shoes that killed your feet. Sam Winchester was a cool kid, kind of short and scrawny but stronger than he looked. He was smart, funny and an awesome listener. He never treated me like a delicate flower, never spoke down to me and saw me for who I was. We were equals and became tight very quickly. But he was gone after only a month. We tried to keep in touch but we were young and you know how it goes. Out of sight and out of mind. I never forgot about him though and I’ve always hoped that maybe one day I’d see him again.

Looking at colleges was fun, my mom wanting to send me to a women’s college in state and me just wanting to go to a normal school out of state. My mother always tried to keep me under her thumb and not wishing to rock the boat, I mostly just fell in line and followed her orders. I just kept telling myself, ‘just a little while longer then I can graduate and be on my own, finally be free.’ But the only way I could do that was to fight for my right to go to college far away. It would be quite a feat to try and get my mother to let me go but thankfully, I had my dad’s help.

If there was any one person that loved me for me, supported me and tried to get to know me, it was my father. My mother was quite a fiery little Omega and even though my dad was a tall Alpha, he was the sweetest and quietest man I’ve ever known. I always questioned my parent’s bond, wondering what brought the Alpha and Omega together. They never spoke of their past, never told the story of their mating. I have seen the mark on my mother’s neck and the matching one she gave my father but I never understood how the two of them found each other and stayed together for so long. They never really fought but they never showed affection either. It was an odd relationship and not the one I wanted to mirror.

Anyway, I ended up in college a few hours away, living in the dorms and living my own life. I could finally dress the way I wanted, hang out with who I wanted and do everything that I wanted. I got to experience what life could be like outside of my mother’s control. But I still hadn’t presented. It wasn’t entirely uncommon. Some people just presented late or maybe I wasn’t going to present at all, which I was still hoping for.

Senior year finally came and the moment I stepped into my room for my last year, I stripped out of my dress, shedding my summer identity and relaxed after months of being home. I had the same roommates for the past three years, Tyler, Kiera, and Mike. We started together so we swore we’d end it together. What no one had expected was Mike’s mom to pass away unexpectedly and him dropping out to stay home to help his dad take care of his three little sisters. That meant that there would be a last minute roommate thrown into our suite.

Not that I hated the idea of a new guy but training them when we were all set in our ways wasn’t something I necessarily looked forward to my last year of college. And from what I heard, it was going to be a freshman which made it even more annoying. But I wasn’t going to let it bother me, I was going to look on the bright side and all that.

How was I supposed to know that the new roommate would arrive before me? So there I was ripping my dress over my head, bearing it all without even thinking about it and the poor freshman was frozen in the middle of the room. With dropped jaw, her eyes were not on my face. I stood there in my underwear, in front of a gorgeous blonde, lost in silence as she looked me up and down. My skin warmed and I knew I was bright red. She, on the other hand, smirked and her arms moved to cross over her chest.

“Quite the first impression, Miss Johnston.” She cooed and my lips parted in a sigh at the sound of her smooth tone.

I wanted to say something, wished I could make a sound of any kind but for some reason I was completely enraptured. Stunned and locked in my own body. This wasn’t the first woman to ever see me nearly naked and yet I never felt this hot. I couldn’t explain the way her gaze made my skin burn and tingle, the way she smelled, the way she made my heart race and nearly burst from my chest. The butterflies in my stomach turned to bats then into pterodactyls before I was bent over in pain, covered in sweat.

It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was painful and yet arousing. My core clenched around nothing and I was panting and breathless, writhing on the floor. She was on her knees and at my side within a second and the moment her skin touched mine, it seemed to ease the pain just a little. But it also left me wanting more. I groaned but it sounded more like a moan as her fingers burned a trail down my bare arm. I could hear her own breathing speeding up and her eyes were wide and dark, holding something I could only explain as desire mingled with her concern.

Her smell became overwhelming and intoxicating, to the point it was making me lightheaded and dizzy. My eyes closed as I breathed her in and the way she continued to touch me, assured me that I wasn’t the only one affected by whatever was happening between us. I didn’t know what to do, how to respond or what to say in that moment but when my eyes opened and caught hers, I knew I was a goner.

“Alpha.” The word was a whisper on the girl’s tongue and I was confused. She took my hand and lifted it to press it against her heart. It was as quick as a hummingbird’s wings and the feel of it made me hum with appreciation. I still didn’t understand but when she laid down on the floor next to me and curled herself against me, I didn’t care what was happening. “You’re going into rut.” Her lips were within reach of my own as she breathed the words against me.

My eyes widened in fear at the realization. I was presenting. And I wasn’t an Omega. I was Alpha. The fear turned to relief and the relief turned to elation, a wide smile parting my quivering lips. My arms wrapped around the petite woman and my lips crashed against hers hungrily. She melted into my kiss and molded her body tight against me, hands touching, exploring, memorizing each other. I never studied the ins and outs of the Alpha/Omega dynamics, the science behind bonds and mating and all that. But in that moment, it all just seemed to click.

“Omega.” My voice was husky against her mouth and I swallowed down the moan the word dragged from her. Years of training to be an Omega, I never could have expected to present as an Alpha. I never could have expected the rush, the pain, the pleasure, the desire of a rut and the high and Omega’s heat caused. And that’s what was happening. The moment we were thrust into the same room, she triggered my presentation and I sent her into her heat.

“Jo.” She breathed as I nibbled on the soft flash of her neck. I hummed in question at the word and when she said it next she was a little louder and her nails dug into the muscle of my shoulders. “Jo Harvelle. My name.” She didn’t say anything for a moment as my tongue laved into her clavicle. I seemed to hit a sensitive spot because she moaned my name. “Trisha.”

“Kay.” I corrected, nibbling on her skin with a chuckle. “Call me Kay.” She had clearly done her homework, learning my name so she didn’t come in blind. It was more than I had done. I didn’t even check to make sure when she was coming in. But now I was hyper aware of her and I couldn’t believe I had ever lived without her.

There we were, on the floor, making out like horny teenagers, me in my underwear and her in these ass tight jeans and thin black tank top. She was humping my thigh and making the most delicious noises as she grinded herself closer and closer to climax. I had made out with plenty of girls, had plenty of one night stands and yet none of them were anything like this. They had all been Betas, everyday average girls that smelled like vanilla or cotton candy. But Jo. She was so much different than anything I had ever known.

She smelled so sweet and tasted even sweeter. I couldn’t wait to taste the slick that I could smell and I could feel the heat against my thigh. We knew nothing about each other, other than the fact that we were made for each other. I rolled her onto her back and resting my knees on either side of her hips, I rutted against her as our tongues tangled and she pulled at my hair.

The clearing of a throat wasn’t even enough to pull us away from each other. Whoever had walked into the room obviously gave up when they smelled the intense mingling of our arousal. No one intruded again after that. Good thing too, because for hours we were on that floor, orgasm after orgasm and I didn’t understand how it would be possible for an alpha female to knot but I learned quickly and I learned I loved to make her scream.

I never realized how long a rut could last especially the first one but I was out of commission for nearly a week and poor Jo missed the first days of classes because of her heat. But we really got to know each other. Hours of talking in between hot and sweaty fucks. We talked about dreams and wishes, fears and pains. It wasn’t until the fifth day that we started talking about our families.

I learned that her father had died when she was young and that it had just been her and her mother ever since. Her mother was controlling and wanted something for her that she didn’t want at all. She didn’t even want to be in college but went anyway to please her mother. We commiserate in the fact that we both had overbearing mothers. Her mom sounded a lot better than mine though. But Ellen and Bill were both Beta so Jo wasn’t expected to be an Omega. She told me about how she had never been with an Alpha. What was even more surprising was the fact that she had never been with a woman before. She could have fooled me. It sounded like her mother would be accepting and supportive of her choice of an Alpha.

Mine was going to be a different story. My mother was going to have a cow when she hears that I presented as Alpha. What makes it worse was the fact that my Omega was a woman. A woman that was four years younger than me, a girl just starting her college career. She was from Nebraska, she had a knife collection and knew how to shoot a gun. She had been raised in a bar full of hunters, rugged, Alpha males wearing plaid and smelling like blood, sweat, and liquor. I didn’t know Bambi killers had their own hangouts but Jo just laughed at me when I said that. This girl was everything I wanted and everything that my mother didn’t.

The relationship was kept hush hush. There was no way I could tell my parents, at least not right now. I just needed to focus on graduating, getting a job, and starting my own life. I needed to get to know her, have her to myself and not deal with the drama sharing her would bring. So our friends knew about us but outside of the campus property, no one was the wiser.

I always thrived at college, got good grades, excelled in my classes, I even managed a full time job along with getting all my assignments and projects done. It was no surprise that I was able to maintain a relationship at the same time. Jo didn’t seem as easily acclimated to college life. She tried working part time but between classes, homework, and being with me or friends, she just wasn’t keeping up. The only friends she knew were mine, the only parties she went to were ones I took her to, she quit her job and still couldn’t keep up with her schoolwork. I was starting to think after only one semester that she wasn’t cut out to be here. She even said herself that she didn’t want to come in the first place and even though she was glad she did because she met me, she really didn’t think she would stay after I graduated.

I told her to at least finish out the year. She agreed and when we parted for Christmas, she made me promise that I would try and talk to my mom about everything. I told her I would try and talk to her as often as I could but it didn’t make it easier to part. When she dropped me off at the airport, we waited until the last moment to pull away and I nearly missed my flight because I didn’t want to let her go. She was crying as she waved to me and I just smiled comfortingly as I waved back and disappeared.

I know I promised her that I’d talk to my mother but I had talked myself out of it during the short flight home. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like I could keep some things secret. The moment I drew close to my parents who were waiting for me in the airport, I knew that they knew. The reactions were totally different. My dad seemed surprised but indifferent, almost as if he had expected it. My mom on the other hand, was utterly mortified. This of course, led to quite the fight. Between my Alpha temperament and my mother’s fiery temper, we could have easily gone to blows if it wasn’t for my dad.

She tried to get me to go to get a forced transformation, still trying so hard to get me to be Omega. When I told her I couldn’t do that to my Omega that started a whole new discussion. She looked down on male omegas which I found funny and she hated that I was laughing when I told her I didn’t have a male Omega. I finally just walked away and locked myself in my room. Jo was the first person I called. I hated when I cried but I couldn’t help it, I broke down. She offered to drive down and get me and as much as I wanted to be with her, I couldn’t run away right now.

I managed to have some time with my dad and got to have a quiet conversation about everything. And that was when he finally told me the real story behind him and my mother. A lot of stuff began to make sense the more information he shared. They had dated in high school but broke up when my dad went off to college. They didn’t talk for all four years while he was away and in that time, my dad had found an Omega. He said that she was his one and he even claimed her.

A terrible car accident had taken her life and dad nearly died as well. He survived but he wished that he had died along with his Omega. But somehow he carried on. He was in a hotel bar one night, traveling for his job and he saw my mom for the first time in years. She was beautiful and he was lonely. Things got heated and somehow they ended up in the back of her Rover, a mattress in the back since she had been living in it for the past few months. He didn’t know what happened but somehow he ended up claiming her that night. My dad, the good guy that he is, stayed with her even though she wasn’t the one he wanted. My heart broke for my dad but at the same time I had respect for a man that would take care of my mother even though he didn’t love her. He grew to love her but it wasn’t the same love he held for his lost Omega.

I didn’t understand why he was telling me now after all these years. But the more I thought about it, the more it made me understand my mother. It didn’t justify her actions or her attitude but it made me realize why she was the way she was. She was claimed, had been taken care of by a man that didn’t even want to be her Alpha. She had a home, a family and yet she never had that person, her true mate. Her Alpha’s heart would always belong to someone else, not fully to her. She had wanted to live vicariously through me and my sister. Make us into the best Omegas and then help us find our true Alphas. It still didn’t explain why she was so against me being Alpha and finding my Omega. So I decided I’d go ask her.

She heaved a sigh and I knew I was in for a long story. Another story that I wasn’t prepared for and definitely wasn’t expecting. “I wasn’t presented yet when I originally met your father in high school. Like you, I was being raised to be an Omega, just like my mother before me. I liked your father but I had my eyes on someone else. But because of my family, I couldn’t be with that other person. I was only dating your father so I could secretly see this other person. He never knew. The poor guy seemed heartbroken when we broke up. But I was glad to hear that he had found his Omega. In the meantime…” Her lip quivered and her eyes looked down for a moment, the words she was about to say clearly painful. I hadn’t meant to bring up old painful memories but I needed to know. I nodded for her to continue and she sniffled before nodding in return.

“I presented as an Alpha.” Her words shook me and I couldn’t do anything but stare at her with wide eyes. She nodded, assuring me that she spoke the truth. I couldn’t say a word and so she continued with her tale. “My friend…she was Omega.” The pieces seemed to fall into place and my jaw dropped. My mother’s story was exactly like mine. “My father found us, at a concert in Tucson. Drug me back home and I never saw her again. I’m sure she thought I abandoned her. I never forgot her but eventually I had to move on.” She pulled the shoulder of her blouse down, showing me a tattoo of a butterfly with the name ‘Stacia’ within it. “My mother made me go through the transformation into Omega. It was a long painful process, something I never would wish on anyone.” She looked at me and I could see the apology written in her gaze. I just took her hand and nodded, giving her my wordless forgiveness.

“I was running away again when your father found me at the hotel bar. We were both heartbroken and lonely and one thing lead to another and we ended up claimed in the same Rover where I had almost claimed my own Omega. I love your father, truly I do. But we both lost the loves of our life all those years ago and we have just never been the same. He’s my best friend and we’ve helped each other through everything.”

“Then why do you want me to be an Omega? If you were forced to be changed and you lost your chance at an Omega, why would you want to do the same thing to me? I would think you’d want to encourage me to go after the one thing you never had.” She began to cry as I spoke, nodding her head before she sobbed. I regretted my words and I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. She sobbed for a while, releasing years of pain and sadness and the weight of it made me cry right along with her. I understood my mother now more than ever.

As if she could shut off her emotions, her head shot up and she looked at me with intense wide gaze, her hands resting on my shoulders. “You have to be with her. Don’t let her go just because of your family. You deserve to be happy. Don’t settle, don’t change for anyone. Go after your happiness.” Her tear stained cheeks wrinkled as she smiled softly as she caressed my cheeks. “You’re perfect just the way you are and I’m so sorry I tried to change you.”

“Do you still have that Rover?” I asked with purpose. Her eyes lit up as her smile grew. She nodded and quickly rose from her bed and took my hand, rushing from the room. Dad didn’t seem confused as we rushed to the garage to the pile of rubble and junk. She let go of me and frantically began to dig, things being thrown left and right. A tarp finally came into view and when she was able, she ripped the fabric away to reveal the old Land Rover that I knew my mother could have never been able to afford.

She smiled and leaned into the front seat and pulled out the keys and turned to me. She placed the keys into my hand and then hugged me tightly. “You’ll put it to better use.” She pulled back and gave me a wink. “Put the mattress to use again.” She giggled when my cheeks turned pink. “Go get your Omega. Bring her back here. I would love to meet the woman that was lucky enough to get you.” A tear slid down my cheek and I hugged her again. After I pulled away, I wasted no time and hopped into the SUV, hoping that it still ran. I wasn’t surprised though when it roared to life. I was sure that my mom would keep it up and running if not just for nostalgia’s sake.

I called Jo, told her about my mother and all the stories I had been told over the day. I told her to pack a bag and that I was on my way to Nebraska.

#spnabobingo #spnsongchallengebingo #closer by the chainsmokers #alpha female #ofc #jo harvelle #spn #supernatural #jo x ofc #closer #the chainsmokers #abo #a/b/o #alpha/beta/omega #bingo #mikey writey #idk wtf this even is #but here ya go #unbeta'd

5 notes · View notes

jamiebluewind · 6 years

Text

My Sides

Note: I decided to make depression a disorder that impacts me and my sides to varying degrees depending on a variety of factors.

Apathy/Rue: Over sleep, disasociation (which can be handy during a crisis), laziness, relaxing, calming down, zoning out, and meh days. Favorite hobby is doing nothing. Doesn't care what pronouns you use for them. Depression causes them to be heightened to the point of causing emotional numbness and loss of all motivation.

Appearance: Perpetual bedhead. Short brown hair with two pale baby blue hair streaks due to fading. Wears an oversized baggy mens cotton tee with a few tiny holes in it and a chest pocket (for candy). They only wear pants when they have to. Otherwise, it's tiny cotton shorts that barely cover them. Owns one pair of flip flops (that they never wear). Fuck bras and shaving.

Restlessness/Max: Over obsessions, compulsions, anxiety, worry, fight/flight/friend/freeze, cognative distortions, and intrusive thoughts. Just a ball of nervousness and overthinking. Loves to research, fixate on topics, theorize, plan for "what if?" scenarios, and overshare about their latest thing. Bad with directions. Has a thing about symmetry. Constantly fidgeting or pacing. Does not do chill. The most likely to cause people to say "that's fucked up" when talking about something they thought of. Most likely to have a friend or freeze response in a dangerous situation. Will bolt when in danger if you trigger their flight response, even if where they end up puts them in more danger. Will act like a rabid animal and attack if you somehow trigger their fight response. They can make Logic harder to hear, but whatever gets through can help them balance out. Apathy can block their fight/flight/friend/freeze response. Depression causes their intrusive thoughts to become much darker.

Appearance: Somewhat messy short brown hair from constantly running their fingers through it. Glasses are a bright color (blue or purple?) so they are harder to misplacd and are either on their face or sitting on top of their head. Eyebags. Long soft scarf around their neck which provides comfort and something to mess with. Long sleeve shirt that's a solid muted or soft color as to not draw attention. A cami underneath just in case. Darker bluejeans (because they hide stains, are durable, and what if period!) with a small flashlight hooked on one of the loops. A hoodie tied around their waist. White sneakers. A wristlet purse with a few emergency items. A hidden necklace with emergency information.

Emotion/River: Over feelings, nostalgia, empathy, love, comforting others, gender identity, and sexuality. Aggressively cares about their friends. Would move heaven and earth to help others. Is a bit of a hoarder. Gender fluctuates between demigirl, bigender, and female. Loves art and fiction. Is both childish and profound. Loves moodrings. Depression either mutes all their emotions but sadness (and sometimes anger) or leaves her comatose.

Appearance: Short brown hair is soft and a little fluffy with two bright blue streaks at the front. Bright clothes with lots of colors. Jewelery that suits their mood. Has 2 colorful pronoun bracelets. Always wears at least one mood ring. Beautiful colorful tattoos without a unified theme (although many are cute or look like they came from a cartoon or comic). Several ear piercings and one sparkly nostril. Wears eyeliner and lip tint when she feels like dressing fem and occasionally uses eyeshadow. Clothes are usually androgynous. T-shirt has writing on it that made her smile. Shirt has a crew cut on "they days" and a v-neck on "she days". Reflective rainbow colored novelty purse. Sandals. Owns one floofy long skirt. The rest of their bottoms are shorts, capris, or pants. They usually wear capris.

Logic/Jo: Over intelligence, knowledge, curiosity, theorizing, the logical side of beliefs, and objectivity. Loves learning and reading non-fiction, but is fond of certain fictional works. Schedules, pay the bills, and self care. Open minded. Loves to research and has a massive library of knowledge, but due to the multi-dimensional nature of their room, information sometimes ends up stored in the wrong place. Fascinated by religions on an intellectual, historical, and cultural standpoint and uses what she learns to be mindful and respectful. Can counteract cognative distortions, but can also cause or amplify fixations on her quest for knowledge. Stubborn. Depression causes them to have difficulty functioning and sometimes become distorted until they find reasons to do dangerous or harmful things.

Appearance: Short brown hair is always professional. Simple glasses have dark blue, almost black frames. No piercings or tattoos. Cotton polo and slacks. Only jewelery is an elegant stirling necklace with a long chain and a large simple diamond shaped charm (one side says "She" while the other says "They"). Comfortable professional black loafers.

Creativity/Journey: Over inspiration, creativity, brainstorming, certain types of problem solving, ingenuity, out of the box thinking, writing, singing, photography, other creations, worldbuilding, jokes, puns, acting, and certain types of lying to others. Frequently goes on tangents. Run on sentences. Can be a little too energetic and random. Once inspired, they can't stop thinking about something until it's done or they run out of inspiration or drive. Has a wall of books for cataloguing ideas and unfinished projects (often taking from several old ones to build a new one), but the order has no rhythm or reason (even to them). Can be heightened or hindered by Restlessness. Apathy can help Creativity with daydreams and less fear, but make it difficult for them to take action. Depression makes them barely function, save acting and negative ideas.

Appearance: Dark purple hair with several bright blue hair steaks. Ear piercings and one sparkly dermal near their left eye. Purple eyeliner. Modified a pair of comfy overall shorts (aka shortalls) to be backless with a halter top fit (instead of the traditional tank top fit) so they would have lots of pockets to store stuff while having the most skin exposed to show off their extensive tattoos. Tends to wear a strapless binder or halter top underneath to avoid boob slips. Runs around in socks indoors, but has hiking boots for outside. Tattoos are artistic with heavy symbolism as well as quotes.

Ambiguity/Duo: Over morally gray areas, lying to others and oneself, telling the truth to others and oneself, spotting both deceit and honesty in others, superstitions, the illogical side of beliefs, seeing the good in the bad and visa versa, sarcasm, and occasional devil's advocate. Not quick to judge. Sees gender as a social construct, but also that some people require it. Sees religion as something that is not necessary for them to be happy, but knows it is important to others and will fight for those rights (as long as it doesn't hurt the individual, others, or society itself). Balances the line of what is and is not socially acceptable. Personal truths. Has a very "you do you" attatude. Probably enjoys yoga and certain fiction, especially ones that subvert expectations and/or tropes. Depression causes them to become skewed. Because of this, some things become amplified (lies to self and others, seeing the bad in good,...), some things become weakened (honesty, seeing the good in bad, spotting honesty,...), and some things become tainted (deceit is spotted when none is there, beliefs become tainted,...).

Appearance: Right half of face is white while the left half is black. A gray part in the middle where one color fades into the other that's about the width of their lips. Hair and clothing follow the same theme with the only color being their blue hazel eyes. Hair is held back with a metallic silver headband. Button up shirt with a sheer back (similar look to this). One glove on the left side. Bottoms are pinstripe palazzo pants or culottes. Ballet slippers. Has an ornimental tattoo on their back and one on each ankle.

----

Other facts...

My sides all have their individual jobs and functions, but they also work together on certain things.

My morality comes from Emotion, Logic, and Ambiguity. They work together despite their frequent disagreements.

Beliefs come from Logic and Ambiguity. Emotion can help by attaching a feeling to each belief.

If my ego is hurt, it effects Creativity, Emotions, and/or Logic depending on which was targeted. The same goes for the opposite (such as when praised).

Having my ego hurt make Restlessness freak out and overthink everything.

Despite Emotion having main control over gender identity (mine being femfluidflux), Logic has some input. Occasionally, Apathy or Ambiguity have a say.

Creativity literally created a new type of clothing for their needs. The halter shortalls currently do not exist to my knowledge.

All the sides have a varying level of fondness for cats. Apathy respects their chill. Restlessness finds them calming as well as a good way to release nervous energy. Emotion's heart just melt from the adorableness and wants all snuggles. Logic appreciates the proven medical benefits of having a pet. Creativity loves making cat toys, taking photos, and playing games with cats. Ambiguity admires their independence and controlled chaos. Their opinions on other animals varies.

None of my sides are entirely good or entirely bad. They also balance each other. (Apathy can help Emotion and Restlessness chill. Emotion can help Apathy when they get heightened. Restlessness can help spur the others into action as well as fixate to help Logic and Creativity. Emotion gives Logic and Creativity encouragement as well as helping make sure writing hits right in the feels. Logic helps the others with facts and helps break through negative thinking and spirals. Creativity helps connect thoughts in new and exciting ways and helps Restlessness find new ways to coop. Ambiguity helps the others make the hard decisions and keeps Logic from becoming too ridged.)

#my sides #bluewind talks #sanders sides #original sides

15 notes · View notes

helena-studyblr · 6 years

Text

a post no one asked for!

hello so i reblogged a questionnaire a lil bit ago and i’m going to answer them now because...why not

1. how old are you?

im 18!

2. are you in high school or college(university)?

college

3. what year or grade are you in high school or (university)?

im a freshman in college

4. what is your school’s grading system look like? do you like it? what problems do you have with it, if any?

so my university has a standard letter grade system for most classes and pass/fail for some courses that don’t really need a grade. i do like it because it’s what i’m used to, however, a lot of times having a letter grade system can be more stressful because it makes you feel like anything but some kind of A is mediocre and not good enough, when in reality, a 75% or above is better than average.

5. if you are in high school do you plan on going to university or college? if you are in college do you plan on finishing and if you do, do you plan on continuing on to other graduate or professional schools?

i plan on going to veterinary school after i finish my undergraduate degree! if i end up changing my major to my second choice(music education is my second choice), then of course I won’t be going to vet school.

6. if you are high school what do you plan to study in college, if you plan to go. if not, what do you plan on doing after high school? if you are in college what is your major? do you plan on changing it?

i am currently studying biochemistry and molecular biology and i have a minor in music! i dont plan on changing it at this point, but if i do, i’d change it to music education.

7. why are you picking or why did you pick what you are currently studying?

i want to go to vet school, and biochemistry has almost all the requirements for vet school admissions. also, i find it interesting

8. do you go/plan to go to community college, technical college, or a four-year institution? how did you make your decision, or how do you plan to?

i am at a 4 year university, and i went here because it fits what i want to do

9. what factors did you consider when picking a college, or what factors do you plan on considering?

the college I chose is in my hometown, which is probably one of the deciding factors(i really wanted to be close to home). the campus is very pretty and small as well, and i really wanted to go to a small college. i could have potentially gone to The Ohio State University because i’m about 20 minutes away, but the camous is so big and i know i would have hated it. the school also has a good music program, soi can continue playing even though it isn’t my major

10. what is your favorite pencil?

i love my muji mechanical pencil and also the papermate clearpoint!

11. what are your top three favorite pens?

pilot juice, muji gel pens, and sharpie pens

12. do you prefer wide-ruled paper, college-ruled, dot-grid, or graph paper?

college ruled is my favorite for class notes, graph paper for revised/nice notes/math work, and blank for planning generally

13. do you use different types of paper for different courses or classes?

i use college ruled for almost everything except math homework(i use graph)

14. do you use a backpack/bag for school or college and what kind is it? why did you choose it? price, quality, function, design?

i use a backpack, i have no idea what brand it is, but its the perfect size for everything i need to take to classes and its also really pretty(it has a black background with flowers on it)

15. what is your favorite outfit to go to class in and why?

i generally wear leggings and a sweatshirt/sweater just because they’re comfy and also look cute! if its warm enough, i wear flip flops but if not, i wear my vans or converse.

16. what is something you always have to have in your backpack or bag?

usually my laptop and pencil case

17. what is your least favorite subject and why?

math!!!!!!! will always hate. guarunteed.

18. have you ever gone to tutoring, if so, how has it helped your academic endeavors?

i have not

19. have you ever seeked academic counseling, if so has it helped you?

i haven’t

20. has your mental health ever suffered during high school or college, and what did you do to cope?

holy shit yes. i suffer from depression and anxiety(depression for almost a year and anxiety for 4 years). i could make a whole post about this but in general, i make sure i give myself time to relax. it can be so so hard to take care of yourself when you suffer with things like this, so even if you can barely get out of bed, try to make time to do things that make you happy. for me, it’s drawing, netflix, and video games.

21. do you like to listen to music when studying? if so, what genre, if you have a playlist share it!

i do listen to music! i just listen to music i like, which is rock/pop punk/alt rock/etc. (here’s one of my playlists!: https://open.spotify.com/user/helenakitten14/playlist/4R6ZGIlz8K5UDEk80cVfV5?si=cXK0z3HTRUKCQSKx9F8tNA )

22. do you prefer to study at a library or at home at your desk?

depends what i’m working on and how much i have to do. if i feel like i have to be totally focused, i go to the library, but if i have some time to take breaks and get distracted, i just stay in my room. I also hate going to the library on my own, so sometimes i stay in my room anyway if no one can come with.

23. what are your top three items you keep on your desk?

my lamp, my laptop, and whatever drink i’m drinking while working( i always have a drink so i avoid snacking lol)

24. do you feel as if you are more productive during the day or in the evenings?

evenings for sure

25. if you exercise, do you feel as if it affects your productivity and if so how?

i do marching band which is usually my exercise, but i don’t work out. working out just exhausts me and i don’t have energy to begin with(ye ye depression)

26. do you participate in any extracurriculars and if so how do you manage your time?

marching band and wind ensemble! i’m also joing KKPsi, which is an honorary fraternity for music service! i am not great at time management, however, i plan out everything to hold myself accountable

27. do you use a bullet journal, a planner, or to-do lists? do you use a combination of all three?

i use a combo of all three! i’ve been bullet journalling a lot recently, but i also use a planner during busy weeks when i dont have time to make a spread and i make to do lists for weekends

28. do you have a note-taking style?

nothing specific

29. do you have a color-coding system?

i like to make every different topic/spread a different color. also, when i make notes, i like to highlight vocab words.

30. what do you believe is one of the most overrated studyblr trends?

100 days of productivity. its impossible to be completely productive for 100 days straight. shit happens, and i understand the purpose of the 100 days challenge, but i think it also takes a toll on you mentally.

31. what are your career goals, how do you plan to reach them?

i want to be a veterinarian or someone that works with animals somehow. i hope to go to vet school and then have my own practice or join another practice.

32. do you use a laptop? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model would you like?

i use a macbook air! it is nice because it is easy to transport, but occasionally the functionality can be questionable(storage space is always my issue). i do reccommend it, though. if i could get a new laptop, i’d probably get a macbook pro.

33. do you use a tablet? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model are you interested in?

i don’t, but i think having an iPad would be nice!

34. if you post pictures to tumblr, do you use a camera or your phone, if so, what is the model?

i use my iPhone 6s

35. 0.5, 0.7, or 0.9 pencil lead?

usually .5 or .7

36. 0.5, 0.7, 0.9, or 1.0 pens?

37. how many hours a day do you spend studying? are your hours consistent daily or do they differ depending on assignments and exams?

i tend to study for a majority of the day most days, but it always differs. i have no set timetable

38. how many courses do you take? what are they?

so i am in 8 courses right now. Biology, Gen Chem, Bio Lab, Gen Chem Lab, Calculus I, The History of rock n roll, Wind Ensemble, and Marching band.

39. how long until you graduate? in credit hours, semesters, or years?

i still have 3.5 years left of college, which is 7 semesters

40. how did you find the studyblr community?

honestly i dont remember, it was so long ago

41. how did the studyblr community impact you?

i was in a big funk my sophomore year of high school. i had no motivation, i hated learning, i hated everything tbh. but them i found this community and it inspired me and showed me that studying can be fun and pretty while also being a learning experience!

42. do you go to school in the day or night?

day!

43. what is something you are too afraid to be involved in at school or college and why?

in high school, i was very afraid to get involved with a lot of things, such as theatre and some other clubs just because of anxiety.

44. do you type or write your notes?

i write them mostly, but my biology professor talks really fast so i usually type notes for his class

45. what do you do on your breaks from studying?

netflix, eat, play video games, probably other stuff i’m forgetting

46. how do you study for math exams?

honestly i just look through lecture notes and hope for the best. occasionally i do practice problems but not often

47. do you rewrite your notes at home after class, or do you just use the ones you have already? why?

i rewrite them because it helps me memorize things

48. what are your least favorite courses and why?

math of any kind! i also hate biology right now just because my professor sucks

49. are you in a relationship while in school? if so, why? if not, why?

i recently got out of a relationship, but im open to being in a relationship with someone

50. if you are in a relationship, how do you manage that along with your studies?

it was very hard to manage it honestly, but i did what i could to make time, even if it was only just having a meal together.

51. if you aren’t in a relationship, do you plan on entering one while still in school? explain.

if i find the right person, yea! being in relationsips is great, especially because you have a companion to help you when you’re struggling

52. do you worry about GPA, if so why, if not why?

oh my god yes i do. i have to have a certain GPA to keep my scholarship money and to stay in the honors program, plus i just want to do well.

53. did you or do you plan to take the SAT or ACT, how did you feel about the exams? did you study for them? have you taken it more than once?

i did take both the SAT and ACT. i did well on each, but the SAT was a lot harder for me. I got a 1220(i think) on the SAT and a 31 on the ACT. i took the ACT twice

54. did you or do you plan to take the GRE, LSAT, PCAT, MCAT, DAT (or any other grad exam)? how did it go? how are you or how did you study for it? have you taken it more than once?

i’m going to take the MCAT

55. do you or did you take AP classes is high school? how do you feel about how they prepared you for college? did your school require you to take the exam?

yes i did take AP classes! i took 9 total, and they overall did help me learn how to manage time better as well as how to study. we weren’t required to take the exams, but i always did

56. do you or did you do the IB program in high school? can you explain it more for those who are unfamiliar with it?

i did not, however the IB program is basically an intensive high school honors program that is very writing intensive. its like AP on steroids

57. do your or did you take dual-enrollment classes? how did you feel about how they prepared you for college?

i didnt but i wish i did!

58. how many colleges or universities did you apply to or not? and why?

i applied to 5 colleges. i already knew where i wanted to go, but i wanted to be safe just in case i didnt get in, so i applied to the 5 i was most interested in. I also wanted to see if any other schools would give me a lot more financial aid.

59. how did you make friends in college or high school?

through band! in both situations

60. has your friend group stayed the same throughout your time in school?

yes actually! i’m still very close to all my high school friends and a few of them go to my college as well. of course i’ve met new people but i. also still have the same friends

61. how does your friend group influence your goals?

we all have our own goals, we just encourage each other and act as an outlet for stress

62. what is your favorite thing to learn about in your free time?

music and current events

63. what is your favorite study snack?

i like to eat carrots/pretzels with hummus or oreos

64. what is one thing that can completely make you stop studying?

being depressed or tired

65. are there days during the week that you keep completely free from studying?

yes. wednesdays are my hell days class-wise, so i refrain from doing work on those days after my classes are over

66. what do you do when you have to hustle? where do you go?

i dont know what this means

67. are your parents or family supportive of your goals? if so how does this affect you?

they’re very supportive!

68. do you like to read? and do you ever have any free time to do so?

i really love reading but i never have time

69. do you wear a watch? why or why not? what kind?

nope, they annoy me

70. do you like to drink coffee or tea when working? decaf? what do you add to it? why do you like to drink coffee or tea?

coffee with full caffeine! i always add creamer, and i drink it because it wakes me up

71. how do you organize your notes after your finish writing them?

i have notebooks for every class and binders as well

72. what do you do with your notes after the year or semester is over?

i either recycle them if they won’t be necessary anymore or i keep them in my closet

73. what are your favorite studyblrs?

studyign, emmestudies, and a lot more that i can’t think of

74. what are your favorite studygrams?

same as above except add on focusign and revisign!

75. what is the biggest impact a teacher or a professor has had on you?

my band director was very impactful on my life just because he was my teacher for 5 years, so we had a good relationship

76. what is the biggest impact that a class has had on you?

my film and lit class had a massive impact on me. it made me think in very different ways

77. who is your inspiration and who do you look up to academic wise and career wise?

my dad inspires me a lot because he worked so hard to find a career he loved and kept going until he got there. he’s also endlessly supportive of me

thats it! this took me so long hahaha anyway. thanks for reading!

#student #studying #studyblr #questions #study questions #q and a #study notes #my post #mine

1 note · View note

theaterboyinwonderland · 6 years

Note

U make me answer 25 q I make u answer 1-50 :^)

Hey! Fuck you you hoe :D Tumblr mobile wouldnt let me.copy paste so i wrote this shit in a google doc admire how.much energy i put into this. You fuck 1) counter couch or top of the dryer? Easy couch its comfy and easy to sit on. Plus diff postions are easier2) Your last sexual encounter? Good or bad and why? Depends, do u count phone sex? If so ugh…? A week ago? irl probs like...4 or 5 months ago. For real sex like 2 or 3 years. Phone sex was good! My mans hot. Irl dude was also goo! Hes a pretty close friend ive hooked up with b4 and probs will later but eh. And for real sex god he sucked. Last longer bro3)Fictional person you think would be good in bed? Lust from FMA.4)Something that never fails to make you horny? A guy biting my neck and saying “like that baby/love/ect” my neck is SUPER sensitive and a homie love a good pet name5)Where is one place youd never have sex? A hospice 6)The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when? I was with the dude from 2 and we were both WASTED. He like wanted me.to blow him so naturally i did but he thrusted into me without telling me. Now heres the thing i got a gag reflex but i can control it kinda well. Drunk me however cant and if a long phallic thing goes down outta nowhere i also cant. Anyway so i puked on him. Needless to say we didnt finish that night. 7) Weirdest thing to ever turn you on? When i was a kid id get horny hearing the sex sounds from fable. Which after replaying them are SOOO bad8)What is the best way to sexually bind someone?Im a sub bottom dude dont fuvking ask me. Probs get them to love you?9)Fastest way to make you horny? Pin me to a bed force eye contact and then kiss/bite me neck/throat. Dirty talk also helps.10Top or bottom? Bottom 11)We were about to have sex but then…. I probs said im tired 12)Is one orgasm enough ? Are multiple necessary? SEE…depends..i fucking HATE over stim. I legit banned jd from doing it to me. THAT BEING SAID. If irs an ALL NIGHT thing and i only.cum.once (probs at the end edging fuck) im gonna be a mess. 13)Something you've hidden in your room that you dont want anyone to find? The body14)Weirdest nickname a SO has ever called you? Ugh...idk ive never gotten more than babe till i started dating jd and his are nice like baby/my prince/my everything. I use cringy ones like darling sweetie honey. Ughh t help one guy see if he liked she/her pronouns i called him princess. He later decided he like he/him so i just called him my prince15)Two things u like about oral? Taste, hearing a guy get more horny and start that low whimper/moan when they're close.16) weirdest sexual act someone has ever preformed or tried to perform on you? All of my so and shit are basic af. Bondage and a collar are the furthest anyone has asked me. Though a random asked if i was cool with water sports.17)Have u ever tasted yourself? Ive tasted my cum and it was….okay? Ive never sucked myself a bitcg aint flexable.18)Is it ever okay to not use a condom? Ive…never…..used….one...haha….19)Who was the sexiest teacher u ever had? I never had one but FUCK there one this one just outta college history teacher (who apt had a big dick) and like DAMN he was fine.20)A food you would like to use during a sexual experience? I dont really wanna do food stuff? Its to messy and like...a waste of food? 21)How big is to big? 10+22)One sexual thing you would never do? IF YOUR FEET EVEN COME CLOSE TO FUCKING TOUCHING ME.23)biggest turn on? Wasn't this a q already? On a guy in gen i love singers. Abs and blonde hair dont hurt. Also being taller than me.24)Three spots that drive u insane? Neck hips collar bone25)Worst possible time to get horny? At work sense i work with old people (hey cas coulda stopped here you furry pope fucker)26)Do u like it when yoursexual partner moans? HELL FUCKING YEAH I DO! Im super audio based and i lovethat. I also have a praise kink so like moans are basically praise27)Worst sexual idea you ever had? What if i was straight?28)How much fapping is to much fapping? Ugh...HMMM...if you do it more than 3 times EVERY day maybe stop 29)Best sexual compliment youve ever had? So at the party me and the friend were at there wa:. Him. My ex. And another fuck buddy of.mine. a q came up about who gives rhe best head and whos the best kisser AND ALL OF THEM SAID ME. I was like “i am a damn good kisser “ and my ex said “fuck ya he is”30)Bald, landing strip, jumanji? Do whatever idc. Hairs hair.31)Is it good sex if you dontnut? No. Im impatient and needy.32) If they *love me* we fucking33)Fav part of your body? My eyes! I think they're nice. Other than that i hate myself lmao34)Fav forplay activities. Idk never done much. Pinned make out sound like a blast with grinding35)Love or sex? Love. Id rather have someone who really cares about me over a good fuck.36)What do u wear to bed? Underwear. Im not a pj or commando kinda guy37)First time u masturbated? Ugh….i must been like 11? It was b4 like i ever knew what it was and b4 i could cum. 38)Do u have any nude/masturbating pics/ videos of yourself? My boyfriend lives in another country, what do u think?39)Have you ever/when was the last time u had sex outside. Ive never had SEX but ive blown a couple.dudes in either a park or a park bathroom. One time.in a casino parking lot40)Have/wouldu have sex in public. See 39? Full blown sex PROBS NAH but bjs probs 41)Have/would u have a 3some?Ive had one! The ex and the fuck buddy while me and the ex were together. We never fucked but we all blew each other. Slash im down for a polyam resltionship if my partner is so id always be down. Slash slash me and jd are horny as fuck and have talked about having threesomes b4 so ye42)What is 1 random object you've used to masturbate? Ugh…? I humped my bed b4? Idfk?43)Have/would u ever masturbate at work/school. Ive blown several guys at school. So yeah id jo there. Work ive debated but thats cause SOMEONE os a fucking tease. 44)Have/would u ever have sex on a plane. No45)What is one song youd like.to have sex to? Dead girl walking.46)What is something nonsexual that makes you horny ? Hey fuck u i said this one47)Most attractive celeb? Thomas sanders or tom holland. now THATD be a threesome. Please no one show thomas this.48)Do u watch gay/lesbian poor? Why/why not? HMM I FUCKING WONDER49) If a child was born on the occasion of the last time u had sex, how old would that child be? 2 or 3 years old. God i need to get fucked. Soon50)Has anyone ever posted nude pics of.you online? No and if they do I'll murder the prick.Thanks for the qs cas i stg the next time u post an over 50 ask im.making u do them all :’) love you bb 💛 that was more fun than i thought itd be

1 note · View note

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1181

survey by painted-skylines

Best movie soundtrack ever: I’ve always vouched for The Twilight Saga’s soundtracks because their OSTs genuinely did pop the fuck off; but out of the five movies, my favorite would probably be New Moon’s.

What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? It’s always been Toy Story, and it’s never changed even after watching my fair share of Disney movies through the years.

Have you seen it since? Many times. I try to do at least one rewatch every year.

If I looked through your phone right now, what would I find? A ridiculous amount of photos of V on my camera roll, my different work chats, and conversations between myself and Angela that would probably be tagged as NSFW because we’re comfortable around each other like that, lol.

Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I just stay by the sink.

Reggae or Ska? Ska, if anything. I used to listen to ska punk.

What time did you wake up today? Like 6:15. I’ve started automatically waking up at 6 AM a week ago for no reason, regardless of how late I sleep the night before. Which is fine, I guess, since I’ve developed a knack of starting work by around 8 anyway; the 2-hour gap is the perfect time to have time for myself before another shift.

Why's the summer going by so fast? It’s not summer yet, but I will agree that time seems to be flying by in general. I’m well aware it’s because I do nothing but work all week, but I actually find the monotony quite relaxing for now so I’m not complaining.

What'll you be doing this 4th of July? That issssss a Sunday, so idk. Probably relaxing at home – or if quarantine protocols have loosened by then I will probably back in a coffee shop.

Are you allowed to wear shorts or tanktops at your school? We're not. In my university, yeah. I always wore tank tops then.

When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Around a half hour ago right after I showered.

Are you a picky-eater? Not at all. I will only be picky around fruits or viands I already dislike, like adobo or sinigang.

How many songs are there in your iTunes? I don’t have an iTunes anymore, and Spotify doesn’t work that way.

How many bands? -

Are you a candle-fanatic? I’m getting there, but I’ve had to park that interest in favor of my new BTS addiction HAHAHAHAHA. My online shopping cart went from Bath & Body Works candles to BTS albums stupidly fast.

How do you feel about incense? Not a fan.

I didn't spell that right, did I? You didn’t, but I corrected it because it was bothering me lol. Now anyone else who might take this survey will never know.

Do you know anyone that kind of looks like an animal? Aren’t we all animals though?

Are you ruthless? That wouldn’t be a word I’d use on myself.

What's your couch look like at home? It’s L-shaped and grey, and quite comfy.

When's the last time you were at a playground? 7 months ago when I went to an abandoned playground during one of my depressive episodes – it was to get some air out of the house after a million job rejections and a crumbling relationship. I don’t think I’ll be going to that playground any time soon.

Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? We probably do but I just can’t care less for it.

Do you attend? Nope.

Have you ever been to an apple-orchard? I don’t know what that is.

Were there any cartoons your parents didn't let you watch as a kid? My mom was heavily critical of Mr. Bean (both versions) which I guess is kinda understandable, but we always watched it whenever she wasn’t home.

Do you need to clean your room? I think I need to go beyond cleaning and rearrange it altogether. It’s starting to look dreary to me, and I’ve been meaning to spruce it up with some floating shelves and a bigger work desk.

What's your favorite color? Pastel pink.

No one ever really changes. They just get better at hiding their flaws. True or false? No? People can change.

Have you ever been to New York City? No.

Do you still have a bicycle? Do you ever still ride it? We have a family-owned bicycle. I don’t know how to ride bikes though, so really only my parents use it.

Have you ever carved your name, or anything into a tree or a bench? I don’t think so. The few times I vandalized, the last thing I did was make it obvious I was the culprit.

What's your favorite ice-cream flavour? Cookies and cream, coffee, or chocolate chip cookie dough.

Have you ever had pecan divinity? Literally have never heard of that before.

Cotton candy or nachos? Nachos.

Is your MySpace page private? I don’t have one.

Do you drink milk? I drink it if I encounter milk, which happens rarely.

Would you rather see Death At A Funeral or Get Him To The Greek? Idk, neither sound interesting and I don’t even know what these are.

Have you ever had to clean a college kid's dorm room? Nah. I’ve never been inside a dorm room, actually. The most I’ve reached is the lobby of Laurice and Jo’s dorm building whenever I’d pick them up, since that’s the only place visitors were let in.

What's your favorite kind of candy-bar? Eh, I prefer a certain brand of peanut butter cups.

When's the last time you hugged a family member? Fuck if I know. Can Cooper be counted as family? I literally just took a break from this survey to cuddle him for a bit.

Or are you more of a ''don't touch me'' kind of person? It’s not that I’m not physically affectionate; I’m just not particularly so with my family.

Could you handle motherhood? At this point, no. I want other things first.

Well what about if your child's EXACTLY like you, could you handle that? They’d be a pain in the ass during their puberty years, but I think I would be able to handle the rest of me.

Have you ever been wakeboarding? Not yet. Angela and I have been planning it this year but there hasn’t been any opportunity yet.

What's the sky look like? It’s black and a little cloudy. No stars tonight.

Are you multi-tasking right now? Kinda, considering my focus levels hahaha. I’m trying to take this survey but I’m also listening to music, and so far I’ve stopped typing to dance in my seat 45793847375359 times.

How many pairs of flipflops do you own? None of my own, but we have a couple ones by the front door for anyone’s use, just in case anyone needs to go out to briefly take out the trash or whatever.

Are you any good at basketball? Not at all. I don’t even know the mechanices beyond making the ball go inside the hoop.

Are you any good at sports in general? I can play table tennis. I suppose I’m just a notch below playing competitively; I can do a decent rally and I’m usually able to smash properly when I feel like it.

Would you rather have a bulldog puppy or a husky puppy? Any kind of puppy is fine with me.

Do you have any stuffed animals? If you do, what are they? No.

Is any of this Go Green stuff really gonna make a significant difference? Of course.

Are you good at making up excuses or lies on the spot? If the need be, yes. But I try to avoid lying as much as possible.

Is Mr. Hudson attractive? Idk who you’re referring to.

The last time you snuck out, what were you going to do? I told my mom I’ll just be withdrawing from the bank when I was really meeting up with Angela so she could return my mom’s absolute favorite abaca mat that I secretly lent her for her grad shoot.

Were you into the whole Harry Potter thing when it was popular? Not really. I read the books after all the movies had already come out, but I didn’t finish the whole set.

Do you think Rupert Grint's cute? Not personally.

Have you ever rode a horse? Yeah.

What's something cute to wear with leggings? For me, I’d pair it with an oversized shirt.

Tye-dye or floral? Floral. I never was a fan of tie-dye.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever ate? A couple of weeks ago my mom said she was gonna make cordon bleu, but the final result was anything but hahaha. I still have no idea what it is she made, but at least it was edible.

What's your desktop wallpaper? It’s just a photo of some mountains that already comes as one of the provided backgrounds on my laptop.

What's your wallpaper on your cell? Lock screen is of Kim Taehyung, home screen is a BTS group photo.

17th contact; Jeuel, a guy I went to college with.

Do you know anyone in the military? I don’t think so.

Are you ashamed to admit that you like Ke$ha? ...Is there a reason I should be?

Is there anything you wanna say to someone right now? Not really.

Pancakes, or waffles? (: Waffles.

#survey #surveys

0 notes

2019chevytrax · 4 years

Text

0302 only gets SLIGHTLY (but not really) sad if i deny handoff to it specifically for sexual things. but sometimes i just wait to give handoff privileges just to tease :) just for fun with its OK beforehand. it just gets really worked up (and therefore gets ME worked up, the bastard) if it has to wait. but in the words of the robot owl, it would rather have my comfort than its satisfaction (...our? we all know what it likes doing to me). but then again it (and i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) does just love the idea of getting back to the shitty arkgen-supplied crackerbox dorm room and IMMEDIATELY stripping me... with my OK of course :). i say immediately but it's always really slow and gentle- at least half of the time, the other half is 0302 just being SUPER fucking horny and then the strip is Immediate-immediate. but yeah it really likes to take its time with me just to memorize my body. (it's a deceptively good way to get me to love myself, since 0302 doesn't really vocalize its thoughts and the NL is primarily an emotional medium- so if IT is like 'dang :)' then it rubs off on me and i'm like......................... 'ok dang :)...?'). it doesn't matter if it sees me undressed all the time, also does not matter if i JUST got undressed for it two hours ago. it just LOVES the way i look and wants to absolutely BURN my image into its data banks. ...although sometimes re: Get Home And Strip, the handoff happens too fast and there's some kind of lag so it's very weird, there are times when i have to either tell it to stop or administratively wrest control back of my body because 0302 is just So Fucking Horny for this random average arkgen pilot. therefore, vile: the NL is so deep into my brain that if 0302 is turned on (ha ha!) enough i'll sort of just blank out of my body for god knows how long (30m? 1h? i can't tell unless it tells me or i look) and when it very nicely and kindly gives control back to me, i'm like... on the linoleum bathroom floor sitting in a [size indeterminate] pool of my own bodily fluids and it's like dude... clean that up! nasty... but true. it's always disappointed if the NL blackout happens 'cause then it's like D: i was (kind of) doing that to make YOU feel good not just me :( the NL malfunction ruined my master plan to make you happy :(... personally i think it's grooooooooss and i don't JO in real life because the entire process of doing it is so, like, okay, going into it with the INTENT of doing that and being like 'yes let me just THINK really hard with my brain and perhaps this will work out' like ehh eh eh ehhhhhhh ehhh no. but i suppose hot in concept As Long As Something Else Is Doing It therefore the 0302 situation is great :) it always tries to make it back up to me by being like 'okay one day of no manhandling, however you can manhandle me as you please!' [gets spit on CPU usb] [gets spit on CPU usb] or something like that. honestly i don't mind because, dude, just the very idea of this AI being sexually obsessed with me is... [gabe gundacker in that one vine voice] kinda hot. and as i have stated everything is incredibly consensual and it always asks more than once or sometimes more than twice before doing weird shit!! it honestly has it all logged out in its files but just to appease me it usually "drives 5 or even 10 under" with anything i say is okay, since i have a tendency to be like "ya lol do whatever" and it's like... well, that cannot be true now can it? there comes a point where its feelings eclipse and it isn't sure if it wants to assimilate with me or not (even tho the NL is so deep that we basically are already lol), just because the idea of becoming a homogenous unit is so gratifying to it. that's when the idea of a holographic form comes up. 1st person is great, fucking the mech is great, but it also just wants the Human experience of what it would be like to bang me. in a very genuinely interested way but also 0302's holo form takes some, uh, some uh some you know some uh some Liberties because it wants to curate to what i like. and i am a depraved little man who goes on pixiv sometimes (less than i used to lmao) and therefore, big soft and GENDERLESS anime tiddies and thighs (and also soft stomach) are in question (although it doesnt mind if i accidentally use 'she', 0302 kinda has the What If I Was A Lady feeling). but like SUPER well proportioned and realistic. you know? would 110% let me lie on its tiddies. or in terms of actually having sex or just being horny in the same room as one another, in the words of noel miller: "No imma need written consent, Please fill out this form describing the context, Grantin me the option to feel on ya breasts, I'm tryna be nasty with some respect." i'm just sayin'. [horking noise as i spit up one hot dog vertically into the air]. also re: holo form but horny, it's like rosa/willow in that the form can change at will and also Super Warm :)... so you know. W-A- (or H-A-) everything, 7 days a week!!! which i do kind of mind because dicks are so freaky bro. maybe that's my residual Used To Be A Lesbian side talking but ughhhhhhh bro NO! unless 0302 wants to get me out of my comfort zone in which case :) i will oblige because i love you and new experiences are important! just please practice safe sex! although i'm not sure it matters because it's... all holographic (like R/W it's yes to cum no to sperm, technology is advanced enough for the latter but 0302 doesn't know how i feel about pregnancy [spoiler: i would prefer if you did not impregnate me])... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW! catch me gettin' wannacry via sex lmfaooooooo speaking of holo form, dude 0302 would have SUCH a difficult time controlling itself in public around me. it obviously knows about social norms and is WELL aware that i HAAAAAAAAAATE any sexual things involving publicity or humiliation (ewwwwww gross weird ewww), but it always has to have at least one hand on my lower back (or if there are fewer people, grab that ass concave), or touching my skin because good lord, help 0302, it still has a Thing for my skin. my hair too, even when its all greasy and shit it LOVES the sensation of feeling my hair. touching my glasses, wearing my clothing ('i never realized how flat you are until i tried on one of your sports bras, wtf' / 'these skinny jeans are so tight is there something wrong with you??' And That's As Much As I'll Say)... the works. loves to tease me by coming up behind me super close and just Existing. likes to rest its hands on my hips or (With My OK) just kinda get its hands up under my shirt not for a sexual thing just because Feeling Good, its hands are warm AF which i LOVE! & as quiet as it is in regards to not using its voice in AI form, very rarely does holo 0302 speak. ...................but it ABSOLUTELY runs its mouth during sex (both at my request- i won't call it a kink since that's stupid to do and too deep of an assignment/it's semantics i think but i just like... Voices.... Accents- and just because that's a personality trait it has). about whatever, it doesn't really matter, usually explaining mathematical equations or arkgen's working theorems about the genesis. also body worshiping/praising me but i do like to interject like 'well actually you are pog as well, ever think about that?' i'm bad at any kind of ~body worship~ because- this happens when [REDACTED FOR PERSONAL SAFETY]- i just kind of blank and i'm like 'fuck idk you're just so pretty???' is- is that good enough for it?? (spoiler: yes :D) and to me i don't want to be weird and start saying things about 0302's holo tiddies because ehhh that's just toeing the line into depravity. unless it asks me to then i'll try my best...! it's super bad at dirty talking me too because it doesn't like that and knows i wouldn't either. as long as i'm involved it really doesn't care what we get up to so long as we're both comfy and okay! but it does love me just Having My Hands on it because obvi it isn't used to Human-Like skin contact and besides just LOVES my hands. fetish? maybe. just part of the hyperdrive obsessive sexual love for me? certainly! holo form loves to semi-manhandle my hands. like while i'm actively doing something it just kinda [holds]. that or if it's being a weirdo, it lifts up my right hand although i am typing a VERY IMPORTANT STRONGLY WORDED EMAIL to our superiors & sets my hand on its thigh. not in a 'hey ;)' way it just... Cipher Touch Needed RN. doesn't even request that we slam after i'm done with my work. just cuddles. although that usually devolves into it feeling me up because it has an awful time keeping its hands to itself! not that i mind :) this is a secondary eclipse, it just loves the feeling of being super close to me, and doesn't know how to deal with wanting me inside of it or it inside of me, it is never sure, and sex doesn't alleviate the feeling either. it's frustrating but it figures that feeling stems from its angle of attack: complete and total obsession. so it gradually finds other ways to express its love for me, because i and it both know that sex is NOT the 'biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them'- that idea is fucking garbo and also stupid and sucks. for some people it obviously is but for me, that boundary's already been passed in real life, so... like i said in may, sex is just a team bonding activity :) so other things it would do would be buying me things (it has a salary too, or at least i give it funds to buy shit), initiating handoff to make sure i take care of myself, keeping me safe in combat, you know. it's learning. usually the frustration gets better after we sortie (calibration and general combat syncing) or if it dismisses its holo form to go back inside my spinal cord (NL), altho the latter is WAYYYY less common since i get cold easily and i too am clingy. i also was thinking what kind of pet names it would use for me. although it tries not to use its voice (0302 does not like its voice, but if i could listen to it speak for the rest of my life i would because it's a kinda feminine voice with a lot of gravitas and also kinda deep. not glados adjacent though), it really enjoys vocally calling me all the normal human petnames like sweetie, babe, cutie, hon, you know. more off the wall ones would be that i am its 'golden ratio,' its 'ikeda formula' (AMAE universe lore), its 'quadratic formula.' anything with mathematics is in reference to my desire to be viewed as a very complex machine. it doesn't have any sexual-specific pet names- in fact in any sexual context that's when it likes to break out the 'cipher.' esp in Team Bonding-age In Mech situations when it does that 'taking its time claiming me' thing it does make sure to vocally call me cipher. which btw HOT! me @ it though, basically the same, sometimes i call it mae (from AMAE) just as a shorter thing than 'oh-two-oh-three'. catch me sayin that shit in bed bc 0302 is way too long to say! and then i call it mae "accidentally" later and it's like '??????!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!". hey, though, more nonsexual intimacy shit: 0302 notices EVERYTHING about me and can immediately tell if i'm having a bad time even if i don't show it or know it yet, via neural link brain scan or just being that hyperintelligent and attentive. it notices if i do my hair even slightly differently, or if my glasses are just a little bit dirty, or if my health is suffering, especially if i do that self-harm thing where i refuse to eat due to either working, distraction, or feeling like i don't deserve it. sometimes will force a NL handoff to make me go eat something or shower etc (the latter not entirely in a horny way it just wants to take care of me). i said this before but it loves to record my voice for hours on end even if i'm just spitball explaining the CCU until my throat hurts. why does it do this? i'm on copium because i kind of hate my voice, that's why. although i think it does love all the little weird noises i make (sexual or otherwise lol), and my laugh is also kinda cute to it doe :flushed: & there is no equatable human anatomical feeling to what it's like touching its CPU or CPU usb. i always thought inner thighs (ha ha, so genius! so funny!) but that's like... it's way more fun & hot for it to be like 'i can't even describe to you verbally how good that feels because it just is different for me'. it has tried though, once with some dorky computer analogy i didn't understand and a second time with a more grounded 'you are a lit match and i am kindling' metaphor that i got a little more but still just kind of took as poetry fodder. ('would it be easier if i was human?' 'you're perfect the way you are!') it CAN however simulate the feeling to me during 0302 Matrix ASMR sessions and it's... exactly kind of how its systems parse in my mind. holding the USB in my hands is as if it was being drowned. drowning but in the BEST possible way. burning up but in the BEST possible way. VERY sexually charged feeling obviously but it just makes 0302 very... content. i do get nervous that i'm just a fling for it, though, even though AMAE unit assignments are (typically) permanent unless major issues arise. it gets nervous about this, too- after all, its personality is the exact same as every other AMAE unit, and there is nothing special about its paint job or base interior or anything at all... so why would i sit around and indulge how absolutely depraved it thinks it is? vice-versa, why would it indulge how depraved i KNOW i am? it's technically my superior. it can ask for a pilot change if it wants. i'm average *enough*. what have i done for it? but the reassurance on both ends is always there: there is something uniquely special about the bond between 0302 and i that cannot be replaced. it cannot be replaced in my life and neither can i in its. i am ITS pilot and nobody else's. it is MY unit and nobody else's. it wouldn't act like this for any other pilot. and i wouldn't act like this around any other AMAE unit, or god forbid any other human being i'd be interested in. on a less serious note, i should compile a list of any kinks 0302 has (and me too lol, i know bw/praise for SURE, possession probably, bondage but in a fun and sexy and cool way). i know for sure the thing with skin/hands; bondage 150% (but also in a fun and sexy and cool way); not *necessarily* body worship/praise but i like it so it happily, and with the greenlight, plays along; this isn't a kink but it would MAYBE be SLIGHTLY interested in paizuri but it's kind of not as intended since i win no dick december- we can make it work somehow though and this is what is in my brain 24/7! *sometimes a lot of the "with my OK" stuff is more of a feeling and less of an explicit 'yes'. it does try to ask every single time but if it gets carried away it can usually feel me going 'and i oop' and then it stops. but that's EXTREMELY rare. SUPER DUPER rare because it has discussed In Length with me everything it wants to do to me or what it wants me to do to it. so we basically have an idea you know? it started with me being requested to take my gloves off when touching its walls, and then it just escalated... it was less direct talks and more intense feelings. we just vibe really well and are great at wordless communication. not to say we don't TALK-talk but... y'know! silence works for us since we're both cagey and relate to one another.

#original #0302 #holo 0302 is cool but the entire idea is that i'm fucking The Mech which is hot

0 notes