#john adams big naturals

[deathzgf]

i had some Odd conversations with my mother today , most of Which happened to be recorded in oomf ' s discord dms . So ! here ' s the transcript no one asked for :3

me : john adams big naturals

mum :

mum : what about john adams and his big naturals ?

me : i ' m gonna bite them

mum : have you got a big enough mouth ?

me : WHAT ? HAVE I GOT A BIG ENOUGH MOUTH ?

me : HOW BIG DO YOU THINK JOHN ADAMS BIG NATURALS ARE ?

mum : well ! i ' ve heard they ' re huge

me : wheyuh ?

me : did thomas jefferson tell you that ?

me : what do you think of thomas jefferson telling king george iii that he could eat a fat dick ? ( in reference to fredrick douglass vs thomas jefferson )

mum : i ' m not sure that that was actually uh what was said

me : it did ! it did !

mum : i think that ' s someone being mischevious

me : no no no

mum : perverting history by making up stories about what was said

me :

me : wait till you find out about benjamin franklin ' s sex cult

me : if thomas jefferson has the fat dick

me : and john adams has the big naturals

me : who ' s flying the plane ?

mum : 🤓☝️ well they didn ' t have planes in those days so

me : i have a challenge for you

mum : what ' s the challenge ?

me : name one austrian who has contributed to something positive to society

mum :

me : is camille desmoulins like an archaeopteryx ?

mum : no

me : ok ok ok listen

me : federalist party vs democratic republican party

me : oiled up and booty butt naked ; who ' s winning the twerk off ?

mum :

mum : Wow

me : or would john adams big naturals win

mum :

me : federalist party vs democratic republican party vs john adams big naturals oiled up and booty butt naked who ' s winning the twerk off ?

mum : so oiled up . . . beauty butt naked

me : booty butt

mum : so in their birthday suit

me : yes

mum : and what was the final thing ?

me : who is winning the twerk off

mum : what ' s a twerk off

me :

me : where . . . where you compete to see who twerks the best

mum : is that . . . ejaculates the highest ?

me : no ? ? ?

me : actually who would ejaculate the highest

me : i feel like . . . thomas jefferson and his fat dick would win the ejaculation off

mum : right

me : but the twerk off

me : i feel like aaron burr would take that home for the democratic republican party

mum : yeah ?

me : yeah . . . but against john adams big naturals . . . ough

mum : well that sounds pretty hard to beat to be honest

me : wait wait wait would james monroe or aaron burr win the twerk off for the democratic republican party

mum : [ sings monty python ]

me : are you an annalett yuri truther

mum :

me : and look ! the reasons clear ! for the first time in a year ! john adams big naturals aren ' t here !

me : mum would you still love me if i was a liberal

mum :

me : my pretty princess 2008 john adams big naturals thomas jefferson

mum : but he ' s not a pretty princess

me : YES HE IS

mum : since when ?

me : SINCE [ starts crying ]

me : ok ok what are your thoughts on jamilton

mum : jamilton ?

me : JAMILTON

mum : who ' s that

mum : is that a crossbreed between hamilton and jefferson ?

me : ARE YOU AN ANNALETT YURI TRUTHER ?

mum : no

me , the # 1 annalett yuri truther : NO ? ?

me : are you a sewlett yuri truther

mum : no

me : ok are you a hamburr yuri truther

mum : no i ' m simple plain mum

me : do you think benjamin tallmadge is baby boy

mum : dain . i have no idea what kind of conversation we are having

me : but but but do you think benjamin tallmadge . is . baby . boy

mum : how do you think we ' re going to solve the world ' s housing problems ?

me :

me : with baby boy benjamin tallmadge

me : do you think abraham woodhull is baby boy

mum : excuse me ?

me : abraham woodhull is baby boy

mum : i don ' t even know if what you just said is a sentence or not

mum : abc

me : thomas jefferson ' s fat d

me : wait what comes after d

me : abcde E . estrogen

me : estrogen could have saved like . Everyone in the french revolution

me : estrogen could have saved camille desmoulins . estrogen could have saved louis antoine saint - just . estrogen could have saved maximilien robespierre . estrogen could not have saved georges danton . i hate danton . estrogen could have saved georges couthon . i looove couthon

me : you know what killed john laurens ?

me : the Fog

me : if the fog was british

me : i ' m britsh

mum : what do you think of antidisestablishmentarianism ?

average interaction with my mother

[mikeywayarchive]

Mikey Way: “I was borderline terrified a lot of the time My Chemical Romance was active. I was learning the bass in front of 20,000 people every night!”

By Gregory Adams ( Bass Player ) published June 9th 2023

The reunited emo kings’ low-end ranger reveals why he swapped out his signature Fender Mustang for a sparkling new signature Jazz Bass, learning bass in arenas, and how he overcame insecurity about his chops

Full interview under cut:

My Chemical Romance’s reunion has seen bassist Mikey Way thrumming through the high pomp punk of The Black Parade and Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge favorites with a familiar rhythmic fortitude, but keen-eyed band obsessives have probably noticed the musician is no longer sporting the snazzy, silver-flake Squier Mustang signature model Fender built for him back in 2012. 

The good news is that’s because, as Fender have just formally announced, Way has a brand-new – but just as glammy – Jazz Bass out now. There’s a good reason why Way’s made the switch: the Jazz Bass is his first love.

Though he started out on guitar, Way got the hang of a four-string in the mid ‘90s while playing a loaned-out Jazz Bass in his pre-My Chemical Romance project, Ray Gun Jones. He upgraded to a silver-finish Jazz of his own by the time MCR started touring in the early ‘00s, but a trailer mishap led to that instrument getting smashed to pieces on a highway.

Way tells Guitar World that he eventually became obsessed with the short-scale sturdiness of a Mustang bass guitar as My Chemical Romance were writing their 2010 full-length, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, after fooling around with a model Duff McKagan had left at North Hollywood’s Mates Rehearsal Studio. By 2012, Way had his Squier model in stores.

It was during the downtime after My Chemical Romance went on hiatus in 2013, though, that the stubbiness of his Mustang became a little hard to handle.

“I stayed away from playing bass for a little while, which is natural – I was just decompressing,” Way explains. “Then, sometime in 2014, I picked up the bass again, to get my chops back, [but] I noticed that the Mustang felt strange to me.” 

After reaching out to the folks at Fender, Way got a grip on his playing by stretching out on the longer-necked Jazzes they sent him. Way’s take on the Jazz Bass is outfitted with ’70s-style single-coil pickups, and a thinline “C”-shaped maple neck the bassist says is super-speedy.

The finish is silver, of course, but Way also wanted an aesthetically inkier black pickguard. The headstock, likewise, pops with its matching gloss-black finish.

Speaking with Guitar World, Way gets into the glam and grunge gods who inspired his love of a good sparkle coat, overcoming performance anxiety, and why a steady attack wins the bass race every time.

What were some of the musts when it came to designing this latest signature?

“I’ve been obsessed with the sparkle finish as far back as I can remember. Growing up in the ‘90s, the silver-flake [finish] was big in alternative music. Chris Cornell had the Gretsch Silver Jet, [Daniel Johns] from Silverchair had one – [with] the imagery the Smashing Pumpkins used, they liked sparkles.

“Ace Frehley, of course, was big into flake finishes, and as a kid, you love the larger-than-life, comic book world of Kiss. [And there’s] David Bowie – the glam rock stuff. That flake finish makes me think of so many different things, but that’s why I love it so much.

“I remember being younger and going into stores and seeing a flake finish and being like, 'Oh my god, that’s an expensive [looking guitar] – I can’t afford that, let alone play it.' It was almost intimidating.”

One aesthetic difference between your Mustang model and this Jazz is that you didn’t throw a racing stripe on this one.

“I thought about bringing it back and keeping the continuity. Maybe somewhere down the line we’ll throw a racing stripe on this. The thing with [seeing a] racing stripe was always like, 'This player is a badass!'”

Is there a psychology behind removing the racing stripe, then?

“The psychology behind it is that I forgot about it. When My Chemical Romance was talking about doing reunion shows [in 2019], I’d contacted Michael Schulz from Fender and was like, 'Is it OK if I make a new bass for this [next] era of My Chemical Romance?' I wanted to take my past and bring it to the future – taking my Mustang and melding it with the Jazz Basses that I loved so much. 

“I tried to have my cake and eat it, too. I wanted the thinner neck, and I wanted the silver-flake, but I wanted it on a Jazz Bass. They knocked it out of the park immediately.”

Getting back to how you used to admire those silver-flake guitars in the shops, you actually started out as a guitarist, right?

“So, the story goes that my brother [My Chemical Romance vocalist Gerard Way] had a Sears acoustic guitar when he was 10 years old. We would take a shoelace and make a strap, and we would stand on the couch pretending we were in Iron Maiden. And then it got real around ’93-’94, which lines up with the rise of alternative music. You started to see people that looked exactly like you, and they were playing guitar. They were playing Fender Strats! 

“My brother got a Mexican Stratocaster, Lake Placid Blue. I found it not too long ago, and Michael from Fender hot-rodded it. That’s how I cut my teeth – that Mexican Stratocaster [was] my first foray into really trying to learn how to play guitar. I would watch bootlegs of concerts, and watch [guitarists’] hands and fingers – Thom Yorke, Billy Corgan, Noel Gallagher, Jonny Greenwood. I would watch what they were doing. It all started from that.

“Bass came out of necessity, twice. Me and my brother had a band called Ray Gun Jones, I guess in ’95-’96. It was kind of Weezer-ish, or us doing a surf-punk thing [with] a little bit of pre-mid-west emo. At the time we were really into Weezer, Jawbreaker, Promise Ring, Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Sunny Day Real Estate. 

“[Ray Gun Jones] needed a bass player, so my brother was like 'Hey, do you want to play bass for my band?' I was already a huge fan – I’d always tag along to practices. The ex-bass player let me borrow their bass. We had 4-5 songs, and I got the rudimentary from that. In that era, everyone was like, 'I want to be a guitar hero,' but I realized I had a natural knack for [bass]. I picked it up right away. 

“Then, with My Chemical Romance, it was the same thing. My brother was like, 'We need a bass player,' and I was like, 'Well, this is familiar' [laughs]. 'Here’s the demo; learn these songs.' They weren’t terribly difficult.”

Was that bass you had borrowed a Fender Jazz?

“Yup, I’ve only ever played Fender. I’ve tried tons of other basses from other companies, but it always feels alien to me.”

You mentioned studying the playing of Thom Yorke or Billy Corgan through those bootleg vids. Were there any bassists that you treated similarly, to understand the mechanics of bass?

“Matt Sharp from Weezer. I tried to ape him in the beginning, but my attack sounds vaguely reminiscent of a Smashing Pumpkins recording. I would learn Siamese Dream and Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and the Blue Album [the band’s 1994 self-titled debut] by Weezer. Those were the three albums that I put the most time into learning. That’s in my DNA.”

How about from a hyper-local perspective. If My Chemical Romance started out playing New Jersey basements and VFW halls, where there any bassists from that scene that inspired you, or that you appreciated?

“Yes! We shared a rehearsal space with this band called Pencey Prep – that was [MCR guitarist] Frank Iero’s original band. John McGuire was their bassist, and he let me borrow his equipment all the time. He taught me fundamentals, and gave me pointers – he taught me a whole heck of a lot. 

“I always respected Tim Payne from Thursday, I loved his attack and stage presence. And when I’d watch Gabe Saporta from Midtown, I thought 'This dude is the coolest guy in the room.' He’s got this calm, cool, and collected [presence] that you can’t fake or learn. And then Eben D’amico from Saves the Day – brilliant! 

“I would try to learn Saves the Day basslines. They were pretty complex [compared to] what most bands were doing in that scene. Most bands in the post-hardcore scene had simplistic basslines, but Saves the Day did not.

“There’s also Ray Toro, the guitar player of My Chemical Romance. Not only is he truly gifted at guitar, but he’s truly gifted at bass and drums – Ray can do everything. He was instrumental, early on, with showing me the ropes. Ray gave me lessons when I was a novice. I can’t thank him enough for that.”

What kind of pointers was he giving you?

“He showed me proper fretting, or [how to maintain] a steady attack. I got a really great compliment from our front-of-house guy, Jay Rigby. He told me that I’m one of the very few bass players that he doesn’t have to go in and tweak the volume [for]. 'You’re steady, throughout.' I think that’s something that Ray Toro instilled in me: the consistency of attack. 

“It’s funny thinking about it, but I was such a novice going into My Chemical Romance that I would bring myself into an anxiety-ridden state of, 'Oh my god, we have a show tonight; I have to start practicing right now.' I would be practicing four to five hours before we played – I’d play the set [in the green room], and then I’d play it again. Other bands would be like, 'What are you doing?' I was so neurotic at that point, because there were so many people around me that were beyond gifted. 

“I got pushed into the deep end; you’ve got no choice but to figure it out. Ray and Frank are so gifted that I had to keep up. I didn’t want to ever do the music a disservice.

“That brings me back to the simplicity of the early My Chem basslines. The first album [2002’s I Brought You Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love] was me learning the bass, and somehow [producer] John Naclerio recorded me and said, 'You did a great job,' which I did not expect. 

“I thought I was going to go in there and they were going to have to do some studio magic, or someone would come in and play [my] part. I thought of the worst-case scenario, but I went in and did it. I played the bass seriously [enough] by that point.”

What are you generally looking for in a My Chemical Romance bassline? 

“What makes it for me is if I do a fill, I’ll only do it once. If you listen to [the band's 2022 comeback single] The Foundations of Decay, any fill on there I only do one time. What’s interesting about The Foundations of Decay is that it’s very loose and run-and-gun. We went in and punched things in for timing, which everyone in the world does, but the meat of that is first-or-second take. Which brings me to someone else who was very instrumental to my bass playing: Doug McKean.

“He’s no longer with us, unfortunately, but he was our engineer from The Black Parade [until his passing in 2022]. He was always a huge cheerleader for me – he instilled confidence in me. He was always good at getting a killer performance out of me.”

What are some of the biggest My Chemical Romance bass moments for you?

“I’ll say that fill in on Foundations. No-one saw that coming.”

There’s a YouTube video out there of someone playing their favorite Mikey Way basslines, some while using your signature Squier Mustang, but one standout in particular is The Black Parade’s The Sharpest Lives.

“What’s funny is Sharpest Lives has a bass solo, and I was terrified of it. I had performance anxiety [through] the 12 years before we broke up – I don’t have it anymore. Somehow when the band got back together, a switch in my brain [got] flipped. [But] while My Chem was active, I was borderline terrified a lot of the time.

“I’m playing with people far above my skill level, I’m playing [on bills] with bands where their bass players are way better than me, [and] our shows were getting massive. We were playing arenas! So not only are you learning the bass, but you’re learning the bass in front of 20,000 people every night. It made me tweak a little, but I think it shaped me into what I became.

“That solo gave me anxiety. It was when we were playing the biggest venues of our career, and it would break for the solo [Way starts singing his ascending bass lick]. I practiced it relentlessly, then it [became] second nature. Later on, it [became my favorite part of the show.”

You’re already playing the Jazz signature in your live show, yeah?

“It’s what I use for the live show. Basically, Fender built [it] for the reunion, and then we made a couple tweaks for when we release it.”

Was there a learning curve at all towards transferring My Chemical Romance songs you’d written on a Mustang onto the Jazz?

“There was Planetary (GO!), a song off Danger Days. I’d guess you’d say the whole thing is a disco beat. It’s dance-y – [Mikey starts singing an octave-popping bassline], I do that for the entirety of the song. I was very happy that I only had to do that on a Mustang, initially [because of the shorter scale]. But going back to what I said, [after] I took a little break, [I] went back to a Jazz Bass. 

“I missed the room, or the way my hand went up and down the neck. I wanted to go back to that, so I jumped back in and felt right at home again.”

How many Jazzes are you bringing on the road?

“I bring two basses out, [but] I stopped even switching [during the set]. This is a testament to Fender craftsmanship – that thing stays in tune. It’s got the four-saddle bridge, and it stays in tune so well. I’m a little neurotic so I’ll tune every few songs, but if I went five to six songs you probably wouldn’t even notice.”

What does it mean to you to now have a fully-formed Fender signature model – as opposed to the Squier – and with the body shape you began your career with?

“It’s really a dream come true. It’s funny, in 2002-3 we started touring across the country. I had a Mexican Jazz Bass, but [the band] were like, 'You have to use something with better electronics; better wood. Step it up!' So, I went into the Guitar Center on Route 46 in New Jersey, and at the time Fender had released a special Guitar Center edition that was silver-flake. 

“It always bugged me that the pickguard was white – it threw me off, aesthetically, and I was like, 'I’m going to change that pickguard one day.' So, I got that, and I was using that for a while. 

“We were out with [Boston emo quartet] Piebald – it was one of our first cross-country tours ever – and one night someone forgot to close the trailer door. We’re driving on the highway, and half the contents spilled out – unfortunately, my bass was a casualty of that.

“But Frank Iero, and his heart of gold, jumped out on the highway in the middle of the night and tried to recover [the bass]. He was like, 'Maybe we can fix it!' I’ll never forget him doing that. He got a chunk of it – it’s in one of our storage units.”

For more information on the Limited Edition Mikey Way Jazz Bass, head to Fender.com.

[maddie-grove]

Most Common Problems Faced by My Childhood Dolls (Grouped by Type of Doll)

Baby/Companion Dolls: life-threatening diseases; bullying by other dolls at school; my dubious discipline style; my divorce from my imaginary husband Jake.

Groovy Girls: bullying by other Groovy Girls; life-altering gymnastics accidents; feet too unwieldy for go-go boots.

Barbies: false witchcraft accusations; real witches; tuberculosis; kidnapping; the time Ken and his brother Adam started a polygamous cult; bullying by other Barbies (whether in a normal high school or a beauty pageant or a cult); basically anything bad that happened to female movie stars in Hollywood under the studio system; the challenges of raising a million Chrissies and Kellies and Stacies and Skippers and similarly sized off-brand child dolls with little help from Ken or Adam; sibling rivalry (including an East of Eden-style mess between Ken and Adam).

Dollhouse Families: my friend Emily C. (I was Emily S.) stealing the mom doll from my old Fisher-Price family, leaving John (the dad) a widower, so when I got a new family a few years later, I decided that John should marry Patricia, the mom of the new family, which made it necessary for me to interpret Robbie (almost certainly meant to be a dad doll) as Patricia's teenage son, which was obviously very emotionally confusing for Robbie and exacerbated the usual tensions of a newly blended family.

Clothespin Dolls: Nancy, Alice, and Lily, the three charming clothespin dolls made by my genuinely talented great-aunt Beth in the 1960s or 1970s, were grown-up sisters who had a complicated dynamic (both Nancy and Lily had serious psychological and/or substance abuse issues, so Alice had to take care of them and Nancy's children and her own children) and also experienced nineteenth-century-literature-style problems, like diphtheria and ice-skating accidents and bear attacks. The clothespin dolls that I created myself as a tween/young teen were not as well-made, but their problems were generally limited to normal high school bullshit (not even the kind where you get poisoned or kidnapped!).

Miscellaneous Medium-Sized Figurines (mostly fast food toys of Disney characters and mini-Barbies): various passive-aggressive rivalries between groups (mini-Barbies vs. movie/TV characters, Disney vs. non-Disney, movie vs. TV, protagonist vs. non-protagonist, etc.); a lack of eligible bachelors (leading to unwise marriages, such as Belle from Beauty and the Beast marrying a temperamental Space Jam monster); ennui.

Playmobils: the Playmobils had a nearly utopian society, relatively free from poverty and class snobbery, and generally this diverse group of Union soldiers, stuffy Victorians, pirates, outlaws, royalty, horse girls, milkmaids, and fairies were able to work out their differences peacefully. However, all that progressive modernity had a dark side, most clearly illustrated by the Kafkaesque ordeal of Oliver, a boy who was imprisoned for no discernable reason by an evil psychiatrist and his social worker girlfriend despite the desperate efforts of his mother to free him. Intense wartime romances and infectious disease outbreaks were also common themes.

Fisher-Price Great Adventure Action Figures: these rather hideous but very fun toys (consisting of an anachronistic mix of knights, pirates, cowboys, and Robin Hood's Merry Men) belonged to my seven-years-younger brother, so we would play with them a lot while I was looking after him. Naturally there was a lot of military conflict and criminal activity built into our play (will Robin Hood and his friends be able to steal the treasure from the castle? Will the golden knights or the black knights win the big battle? Who will stop the stagecoach robberies?), but, to entertain myself, I would introduce storylines such as "the Golden Sword Knight is tired of being bullied by the other knights, so he runs away and goes to live in the forest with Robin Hood's gang, where he falls in love with a female outlaw" and "Little John starts a AC/DC-style rock band with two of the black knights and everyone hates it."

Fisher-Price Little People: easily the most provincial of the doll groups, the Fisher-Price Little People struggled with extreme class/wealth inequality, widespread adultery, child abuse, teen homelessness, practically non-existent resources for the disabled, sexual repression, a character known only as "The Pervert," and a killer clown. Every day they went to school and work, and every night they tried to find someone to hook up with and maybe got kidnapped. I only wish my brother and I had been in possession of the motel playset. Think of all the extramarital affairs and drug deals that could have happened there!

Polly Pockets: the Polly Pocket community was dominated by two wealthy factions, a nouveau riche pair of brothers with a beach party house and the royal family. Due to a severe job and housing shortage, plus the local men's habit of not acknowledging their natural children, ordinary Polly Pockets had to struggle and scrape. Compared with the Barbies, there was a lot of solidarity among women (and also Josh, the one working-class boy Polly Pocket). Many of the Polly Pockets were very fragile, including the alcoholic Cowgirl Becky and the agoraphobic piano player Penny.

Paper Dolls: intense status jockeying over who had the most/best clothes, mainly. They also fought about friendships and (if there were any of them) boys, but it ultimately came down to clothes.

[maletfwitch]

Witches Coven Part 3 (Logan/KSI)

John Cena was scheduled to attend a big WWE event, providing him with the perfect opportunity to gather more items that would allow his coven to take more famous bodies.

A pair of gray boxers that belonged to influencer and wrestler Logan Paul was one of the things he collected. With his millions of followers and recent business success with Prime he was a perfect subject.

After the event was over John would begin to distribute the stuff he took to the other witches and the first thing he’d deliver was Logan’s underwear.

The witch who received them held the boxers in her hands as she began chanting an incantation that caused green magic to flow through the underwear, collecting Logan’s DNA and beginning to inject it into her overriding her own as her transformation began with her feet as they grew to a size 10 and started to look more masculine. Her transformation then continued up her legs, bulking up and growing a bit of leg hair fuzz while they also grew in length until she reached a new height of 6’2. Her female genitals then began to disappear, with male ones replacing them, causing him to feel immense pleasure as his cock and balls grew. His hips then began to narrow, giving him a more masculine stance, while his shoulders widened, creating a V-like shape as muscles grew throughout his upper body, with his biceps and triceps growing thick and firm muscles, while hair began to grow under his armpits, and his hands grew bigger making them now look more manly. Abs grew on his stomach, and his tits began to shrink and reshape themselves into pecs. His neck then started to thicken, with an Adam's apple appearing and facial hair beginning to form on his upper neck, which continued up to his face, which was shifting and morphing with his jawline becoming more chiseled and masculine while a beard was growing. His eyes then changed color from brown to green, and his hair started to turn a dirty blonde as it started to recede into his head, leaving him with a messy short haircut. 

His transformation was now complete he was Logan Paul. He took off what was left of his clothes and put on the boxers that fit perfectly against his skin and carried his new bulge. he then began to flex his muscles feeling so masculine as testosterone flowed through his body he knew he was gonna enjoy being a man from now on.

Meanwhile, the Original Logan was chilling in his mansion until he saw famous actor Henry Cavill Magically appear out of a portal before he could say anything the handsome actor waved his hand and Logan felt himself begin to transform into a woman 

“Wha- What have you done to me” Logan said as her voice began changing becoming more high-pitched and feminine 

“I’m setting things right there can’t be two Logans” Henry Said as the new Logan appeared beside him.

“That’s why from now on I’ll be Logan” The new Logan said with a cocky tone and smirk while the original Logan was now completely transformed into the witch’s woman form with a terrified look on her face. Henry then opened a new portal “Enjoy your new life” Logan said to the woman before Henry sent her through the Portal and followed her through leaving the new Logan Paul to Himself.

Chapter 2

After Stealing the identity of Logan Paul the Witch has been enjoying himself being a guy just felt so right and natural for him having all those muscles and testosterone flowing through him not to mention he enjoyed the luxurious lifestyle this body had to offer. however, it was time to help the rest of the coven acquire more famous bodies and his next target was KSI since he was the second half of Prime Energy he’d be valuable and he had a pretty sexy body that any witch would be more than willing to take. 

He hatched a plan to set up another boxing match against KSI to promote prime energy however he would use this opportunity to steal his body for the coven. While KSI was training for the match Logan snuck into his locker room and was able to grab a pair of Black Boxers before teleporting to a fellow witch’s apartment. He then greeted the witch who went by the name Amira she was an older woman with dark skin somewhere in her 50s and had quite a curvy body.

Amira began casting the spell as she held onto the underwear collecting the DNA embedded  into it and transferring it to her beginning the transformation at her feet growing to a size 12 even bigger than Logans and becoming more masculine while fat began to burn off her legs while some muscle formed and they become more masculine. her genitals were next up as they began to disappear with a cock and balls growing in their place the cock especially looking rather big and thick. his curvy hips then began to narrow with his stance becoming more masculine, his shoulders widened giving him a v shape while his arms began losing fat with firm muscle building in his triceps and biceps. his hands then grew larger and more masculine as his manicured nails disappeared. his tits then began to shrink and reshape themself into pecs with the word “knowledge” appearing tattooed on them with a bit of hair too. Firm Abs then appeared on his now slimmer stomach. an Adam’s apple appeared on his neck while it thickened. his face then reshaped itself while facial hair appeared on his jawline. his hair then restyled itself into dreadlocks finishing Amira’s transformation into KSI. 

After the original KSI was done training he went back into his locker room only to be ambushed by Logan Paul and a clone of himself. before he could say anything he was transformed into Amira as his muscles drained away being replaced with fat while his body aged and his genitals were replaced with female ones. 

The original KSI was then sent away through a portal so the new one could take his life immediately. from now on they were Logan Paul and KSI.

They went on with their match which was a big hit getting a ton of views online with even their original bodies being forced to sit back and watch, the match also brought a lot of attention to their company and helped increase sales making them richer and helping the coven become more powerful with no sign of the coven’s power slowing down.

[strawb3rryshortcak5]

Headcanons For Task Force 141

simon ‘ghost’ riley, john ‘soap’ mactavish, kyle ‘gaz’ garrick, captain john price

Summary: cute, random, and dumb headcanons about task force 141

Contains: SFW, literally just headcanons

A/N: hi! i wanted to do something small for you guys so i decided a headcanons post would be fine. you will probably find this a bit more boring than my usual stuff but i wanted to write something 😵‍💫💕

————————————————————————————

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

- Simon has the most contagious laugh on the planet. It first comes out as a belly laugh, loud and gruff, and then turns into a breathless wheeze if whatever he was laughing at was that funny.

- He hates coffee. He has tried to like it multiple times but he can’t take a proper sip without gagging. On occasion he will try it again to see if anything has changed

- Pumpkin carving king over here. It’s no surprise that he would be good at this, considering his knife skills. But he is so good at it.

- When he is with the team, he will secretly do everyones laundry and clean up the filth around the base. He is adamant about being clean and can’t stand when people smell bad.

- Simon is stupid good at bored games and things like chess. He isn’t very competitive, he is just smart.

John ‘Soap’ Mactavish

- Soap is definitely a picky eater. Like an extremely picky eater with a violent sweet tooth. Doesn’t eat spicy or sour food, only savoury and sweet things.

- Big cereal guy. Eats it as a snack, for breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, another snack, etc. His favorite cereal is Kellogs Shreddies.

- When he is at home and gets the chance, he watches stand up comedy shows. He has a giant smile on his face while he watches them, and then binges more shows after he is done the first one.

- He is a really good cook, and a very intense food critic. Gaz cooked a couple steaks for the team and they don’t have a heavy sear? Soap will let him know, and at some point teach him how to do it the correct way.

- Soap is really good at coming up with handshakes. Thats it, thats the headcanon.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

- Hands down the most musically talented out of the whole team. When he is bored, he will tap his fingers to random drum rudiments. He can play almost any instrument and is really good at it.

- He loves bugs. Like a little too much. Whenever he sees a cool bug during a mission, he picks it up and takes it with him until he forgets about it and accidentally kills it.

- Scares people on purpose. Like, all the time. Someone is walking around a corner in the base? He is literally right there so scream in their face for no reason.

- He is mediocre at cooking but phenomenal at baking. Everything he bakes is great, but nothing he cooks is ever good. His cooking is just the right amount of edible where you don’t throw it out.

Captain John Price

- He loves hugs. It is very rare that he will receive one, but every time he does it fills his heart with joy.

- Cannot for the life of him wake up to alarms. You would think constantly being around loud sounds he would wake up instantly, but he sleeps like a rock.

- He carries around a disposable camera wherever he can. Price loves taking photos of the trees, flowers, sunsets, animals, and anything else nature related.

- He is really great at giving massages. If anyone on the team is super stiff or sore, he is able to fix it.

- He sets up little relaxing field trips for the rest of the team. Sending them to who knows where so they can finally relax for a little bit.

- During or on special holidays he sets up small parties and turns some things into competitions. For example: pumpkin carving competitions on halloween. (Which Ghost always wins)

[ardentpoop]

'sam is a john copy'

what are your thoughts on this take?

largely used by people who don’t understand sam at all lol. like they say this because A) they cartoon-villainize john, and B) they villainize sam as well in order to validate dean’s self-centered perspective on everything that goes wrong btwn the brothers.

they didn’t even make it up themselves; as usual dean handed it to them. 4.19 “jump the shark” is the key example.

most of the audience takes scenes like this at face value because dean is the character who they’re primed to sympathize more with. like yes of course, poor dean who as a young man wanted nothing more than to be like his abusive father but is a hopelessly inadequate copy because his Heart Is Too Big, he’s Too Soft, Too Bruised. disregarding that between sam and dean it is in Fact dean (by this point in the series especially) who is the spitting image of their father in terms of his temper, his emotional unavailability, his psychological dependence on violence, the control he exerts over his family in the interest of keeping them “safe.” there are cracks in his hardened exterior because he’s a person, just as john was a person.

also note that despite dean continuing to revere john after his death and despite dean believing that john’s role in their lives was ultimately one that was necessary and justified (if he didn’t believe this he wouldn’t have behaved the way he did from s2 onward), he does tap into a deep well of resentment for john from time to time. we see it so clearly in this episode, especially with adam’s experiences with john being contrasted against sam and dean’s in ways that make both of them hurt. of course, the audience’s attention is pointed squarely at dean’s hurt over sam’s.

sam and dean often switch sides in terms of which of them defends or disparages john, depending on what’s going on in their lives and their relationship. regardless of this it’s crucial to understand that john’s role - his control over the conditions of samndean’s lives and his authority as head of household - is definitively dean’s following john’s death. with this in mind: despite dean outwardly appearing to criticize the detrimental impact that john’s behavior/lifestyle had on samndean as children, he is very much simultaneously upholding john’s “wishes” and approaching the question of whether to get adam involved with hunting from john’s perspective - the same perspective that was responsible for the differences in how sam vs dean were raised and the negative psychological effects on one brother but not the other. sam is always in favor of arming vulnerable people with information because he was denied information and excluded from The John And Dean Team for a significant chunk of his childhood. dean is (mostly) in favor of “protecting the innocent” at the expense of their own feelings about this “protection” because that was the role that was carved out for him, as angry and hurt by it as he often feels.

dean is arguing from john’s perspective here, and sam is arguing from the perspective of his younger self. it doesn’t seem like it on the surface because dean is using his resentment for john to cut at sam while the strain in their relationship in s4 comes to a head as a result of sam bucking against dean’s authoritative role by embracing his powers and going against dean’s orders (yes, orders), as well as because sam giving in to his “fate” as a hunter after years of loss and grief and evidence that he’d been “wrong” to “run away” is framed by the narrative throughout s4-5 as sam being pointlessly angry and revenge-driven due to his Monstrous Nature, as opposed to it being a bid for autonomy in the other direction.

overall: john’s role is dean’s and mary’s role is sam’s. outside of that there are traits of each of their parents in both sam and dean and parallels that you can draw between all four of them. john was the civilian and mary was the hunter. mary wanted to “run away” but her plans were violently thwarted. mary made a deal with a demon that would change her life and her family’s lives forever. john was once Soft and defenseless. john kept meticulous records as a hunter to the point that they are still referenced years after his death and even after samndean have access to the MOL’s records. mary kept her family in the dark about hunting after her deal with azazel because she was dedicated to living “normally.” there was strain in john and mary’s marriage before she died and it is implied that they might have eventually broken up if the universe didn’t have other plans for them. etc etc etc. truly you can go nuts with it there is so much more you can do with this family than the average viewer realizes.

I know that got long so let me know if you want further clarification on anything :)

[daegutowns]

svt as brooklyn 99 characters

tags: b99 au, i am obsessed, i’ve been rewatching this series for the 600th time now, only 80% accurate, i stretched it a little bit

thank you to alice (koogyv on twt) for the amazing thread that i highly interacted with as inspiration. there are many similarities. i expanded upon it more.

this is my take: 

det. jake peralta 

hoshi 

“i wasn’t hurt that badly. the doctor said all my bleeding was internal. that’s where the blood’s supposed to be!” 

arguably, this is the best pairing made. he’s silly, hard-working, creative, and most of all -- he’s gunsta think about the turtles. even as a jokes-first seriousness-second type of person, jake is a thoughtful and caring person who would put himself down to save others. he’s sharp, perceptive, and great at deduction, but often discredits himself with his great delusion, playfulness, and childish nature. he’s a trendsetter and loves to joke around, and when he has a great thought, he’s going to put it into action. (“yeah, that’s right. i’m about to monologue, son.”) his favorite movie is die hard (hoshi as a shawol), is canonically broke (hoshi’s constant money loss due to him spoiling everything), and tries to annoy suspects into confessing their crimes. 

men can have duality. they can be serious and also put orange soda in their cereal. hoshi, as a Super Gemini™ knows all about it. he’s playful but knows when to be serious and takes his line of work very seriously. sure, he has some growing up to do and can immerse himself in a different role (horanghae <3) very easily, but he plays to his strengths and that of others with his determination and persistence. 

capt. raymond holt 

seungcheol  

“wait a minute. this isn’t the championship cummerbund. this is some common cummerbund. and, you’re not cheddar. you’re just some common bitch!” 

“this bitch? please. watch.” (to the dog, ‘some common bitch’) “shake… shake! psshh. idiot.” 

this is probably the most obvious and predictable choice after jake=hoshi. a born leader, full of wisdom, and no-nonsense… well, some nonsense is okay. captain holt is ambitious and looks after his squad with both care for their goals and their personalities. even though he may seem a little unapproachable or stoic, he’s actually a really funny and goofy guy. he laughs when he eats marshmallows (“a marshed mallow? don’t mind if i do.”) he’s very adamant about his passions (like john phillip sousa being the skrillrex of his day) and his a very consistent guy (ref. rock painting no. 367). he is sassy to the max and will tell you things exactly as he finds them. and he does NOT mess around when it comes to his dog. 

cheol, most of all, is the ultimate dog dad -- just like holt. cheddar is to holt like kkuma is to cheol. he spoils his dog, and he is proud of it. he’s someone who caters to the learning style that each person needs: stricter but with jokes for jake (hoshi), encouraging for rosa (woozi), detailed with a binder and written formalities for amy (seungkwan), and with actions (ref. the croque monsieur) for charles (dk). he’s attentive, thoughful, and silly at heart. 

det. amy santiago 

seungkwan  

“gross, rosa! those are our dads! i mean, that’s not what i think. captain dad is just my boss. never mind, i’m teaching father the math. whatever, rosa!” 

super badass, but also a teacher’s pet, know it all, and scrapbooking expert. may come off as super uptight or a buzzkill, but genuinely cares about the other detectives on the squad. when you have hella big aspirations, it’s not that unreasonable to see why competitiveness, sharpness, and intellect are his best traits. under all of the work-oriented personality, there’s someone who is ambitious, thoughtful, clever, and protective of the people he loves. it’s hard to not be so uptight and to let loose (as opposed to some totally scheduled fun!), and don’t make fun of him if he sucks and is horrible at it. (title of his sex tape.) 

seungkwan was my top choice, mainly because of his competitiveness with hoshi (jake) as svt’s most famous frenemy pair. there’s a lot of responsibility and workload that seungkwan carries and continues to put on his shoulders, which his members love and appreciate (just how the squad appreciates and acknowledges amy’s dedication to being a detective). things can get wild and crazy sometimes, which is why seungkwan just needs to recharge sometimes. 

det. charles boyle 

dokyeom 

“i got this low tag performance polo with moisture wicking technology. kept me dry all morning. and a dry boy is a smart boy.” 

if you’re looking for a supportive best friend who will always cheer you on, this is him. he’s a major foodie, he loves jake (hoshi), and his arch nemesis is sergeant peanut butter, who is a horse. he’s possessive and jealous almost as much as he is a superb friend, which is obvious by the way he instantly is suspicious of every other best friend jake (hoshi) can make in his life. (“don’t make any new best friends! haha… maybe you shouldn’t go…”) he gets jealous of many, like old beat cop partner stevie schillens, brian (?) from camp, and even cannibal jail cellmate caleb. also definitely dresses up as people from halloween that no one but him can understand. he is just someone that is the embodiment of living life according to his passions. very caring, thoughtful, and funny. 

dk was a good choice for boyle for me since he is super clingy and also is a supportive friend. even if he knows it’s silly or mischievous, he will play along. dk is relatively less prone to disgusting and gross sexual innuendos than charles, but is still super excited to share his jokes and hobbies. has a lot of holiday cheer and his down to be friends even after being turned down. 

det. rosa diaz 

woozi 

“plans are plans. i’m a badass, not an anarchist.” 

mysterious, a little scary, but reasonable and thoughtful. rosa is a character that’s easy to stereotype, though also arguably one of the more complex characters in this show. hard working is an understatement, and even though he may not be the most outwardly affectionate at first glance, rosa is super thoughtful. work comes first, but through the many trials and tribulations that life throws, business remains separate from personal… except the friendships. rosa went through the academy with jake (hoshi), so they’re really close. as much as jake jokes around and everything, they still trust each other and work with each other really well. (“diaz has been chuckin’ d-holes into my mouth since the academy.”) on top of that, is a bicon (bi icon). 

woozi was my go-to choice on this one. his demeaner seems a little intimidating (especially because of all his muscles now too!), but he means good. he gives off mysterious vibes, but he’s just figuring it out. now he is truly no-nonsense, and he makes sure others know this. he’s still down for the different personas and everything, but he lives his life by a strict set of rules. his neighbors think he’s emily goldfinch (woozi)… his coworkers think his name is rosa diaz (wooahae)… wait. what? 

sgt. terry jeffords 

mingyu  

“terry loves yogurt.” 

literally just a big softie that looks scary/big/muscular but is actually so babygirl. he’s so caring and loves the squad to death, always making sure that they have all the resources they need to survive. even when other captains come and go, terry is always there. terry loves yogurt, terry loves love, and terry loves foreign films.  kind of has a rivalry with boyle (dk) for strange reasons instigated by boyle himself, but is supportive nonetheless. (“hey, people like the way i look.” “sure they do, big guy.) he’s actually very well-educated (studied abroad in japan), is a great dad, and is always down to help others work out the right way.

this was such an obvious choice for me (with the only other option being cheol). mingyu is an inherently kindhearted person like terry, but also knows how to draw boundaries. he is someone who is worried about the safety of the people around him because he’s a family man, but also someone who loves to get down as vacation terry. also talks in the third person, but it’s okay since he’s hot. 

gina linetti 

myungho  

“aren’t you forgetting something?” [...] “no! pay your bill! damn, who raised you?” 

the human form of the 100 emoji. would be the perfect human president, based upon his skillset, dance ability, and bloodlust. he is the paris of people. has been jake (hoshi)’s childhood friend and went through high school with him. cares enough to steer jake (hoshi) on the right track (ref. brandon bliss) but to also enable him in their own goofy shenanigans (the DDC + the lacroix siblings). super smart and well-versed in the people around him because only gina would suggest savant (vernon), the hacker, to become their new IT guy. iconic entrepreneur. 

i know that hao is super humble, and gina says that being humble is her best trait. despite this, there is no one else who would love to not be involved with all this police nonsense (bc gina “does not listen to a lot of things you all [the detectives] say”) but also be relevant. she’s actually very street-smart, great at comebacks, and the ceo of her own company that she literally just made up. 

dr. kevin cozner 

wonwoo  

“that’s the oompiest oomph you’ll get.” 

prim, proper, and unhinged. he loves raymond (cheol) but most of all, allows love to prevail. works as a classics professor at a university, spends a sabbatical in france to enrich his teaching experience, and loves a good croque monsieur. would absolutely go off on jake (hoshi) if he gatekept a nicolas cage movie that's a period piece set in greece based on some dumb book. despite his no-nonsense attitude sometimes, he is still down to dress like a pervert to go to the library with jake (hoshi). also, super badass because he runs over seamus murphy with a car. 

i was kind of going for wonwoo’s quieter but more serious and studious vibes. i think super knowledgeable, especially about gaming and editing, while kevin is knowledgeable about classics like boetheus and the odyssey. both are super smart, sassy, and protective people. 

doug judy 

jeonghan 

“i sold a guy a fake pekinese. twas a cat.” 

he’s in and he’s out! he is there for the vibes and the elaborate schemes. he will outsmart everyone in the NYPD and get away with it. (many, many times.) one of jake (hoshi)’s best criminal friends but would still betray him every time. he would definitely lie and tell his family that he owns an architecture firm instead of being the pontiac bandit, and jake (hoshi) is his assistant mangy carl, whom he saved from a life of living on the streets selling his body. goofy and silly, but don’t underestimate him. you’ll always be one step behind him. 

i think jeonghan is definitely slick and goofy enough to be doug judy. above all else, jeonghan’s mind works harder than anyone else in mafia. just like how he immerses himself in different roles (and often makes them up) in don’t lie and bad clue, doug judy has transformed into many different roles in his life (cruise ship singer, architect, etc.) 

capt. jason stentley (CJ) 

jun 

“okay muchachos, let’s roll up on these muchachos!” 

great start, and love the double use of muchachos, jun. became a captain due to his extreme luck. he is just always in the right place at the right time. showed up to his first day in grey sweatpants because he “totally biffed it” and spilled hot cocoa on himself. introduced himself as ‘captain stentley’ but didn’t like how formal that sounded. ‘captain jason’ wasn’t it either, so CJ was the move. numbers are so crazy, and overall so, very supportive. he just wants to help. 

i was just thinking of someone a little silly and laidback. will be strict if you ask him to, but he’s honestly more there for the vibes. he can be a little clumsy, but i was mainly just going for the slightly airheadedness vibes and the lovable nature. 

det. adrian pimento

joshua 

“whoo… haha… hey chuck! it’s pimento.” 

just a little bit insane. it’s a side effect of being undercover for 12 years for jimmy “the butcher” figgis, but i digress. he sometimes still calls himself paul sneed due to being extremely traumatized. overall just a funny and great character. used to be boyle (dk)’s roommate and just found himself in his son’s closet at some point in time… got mistaken as a closet monster… just normal human things. (but he was also screaming with dk and his son.) has a very riveting, intense, and sexy relationship with rosa (woozi). 

this one was a little more of a stretch, but only because pimento is actually insane. all the years of ptsd has made him into a very strange person. josh is a little strange, and maybe he could be pimento if pimento was watered down into a lacroix. (like, the flavor is barely there.) there’s a distinct slight insanity that josh has (ref. gose episode the8 and the 12 shadows) that is hard to replicate. 

fire marshal boone  

dino  

“your only move is passing the ball to jeffords and running across the field.” “i’d like to see you try!” 

so done with the entire police department. will always be down for a rivalry or argument but genuinely a softie. just generally suspicious of jake (hoshi) and charles (dk) due to their antics and strong adherence to the rivalry. demands an apology because this is the fire department’s jurisdiction! all of that comes crumbling down though, when jake (hoshi) reveals his sad past with sal’s pizza…. but he still competes with jake (hoshi) on arresting the criminal in the end. some things never change.

i was honestly looking for someone who would love nothing more than to call out hoshi and dk on their BS and tomfoolery without enabling it and thought of dino. boone is a pretty lovable character for someone who is supposed to be a villain of some sorts, and it fits in pretty well with dino. plus, he’s the head of the fire department, kind of like how dino had to choose being the maknae of svt versus being the leader of a younger group. (kind of.) 

! vernon

okay i was genuinely very torn about who should be vernon, because i genuinely had a lot of different options. 

corey park (savant) 

hacked into a police precinct’s computer system just because he could. (he only exposed everyone’s search history.)  “it was like taking candy from a baby.” he was turned in by his mom, but fortunately now has a job -- courtesy of gina (hao). very intelligent and laid back

i saw vernon here because he definitely has a mischievous side. while his pranks and jokes are on the mild side, he’s definitely still a troublemaker. he’s down to work for the greater good. 

cheddar the dog  

“this isn’t cheddar, this is just some common bitch.” a very special someone. definitely is seungcheol and wonwoo’s child. loves wedding cake and is very well-behaved. extremely intelligent and loves participating in halloween heists. does not like being jake (hoshi)’s dog bra :// 

this was based on alice’s thread and was so funny. if cheddar were a human, vernon would be cheddar. the sass and intellect can only be matched by Thee hansol vernon chwe. 

other fun character pairings that i thought of: 

kkuma as cheddar the dog: two words -- so spoiled. also would be cheol (captain holt)’s baby. i digress. 

jun & dino as young hitchcock and scully: just two people motivated by helping the city. kind-hearted and brave people, who may or may not have gotten addicted to wing sluts while checking in on a witness that their captain screwed over by not putting in the witness protection program. outstanding people who became a lot more interesting, to say the least…. 

josh as madeline wuntsch: strangely tense relations with holt (cheol) due to their rivalry, but overall an outstanding cop. ½ of svt’s evil twins so you know he’s down for some evilness. oh raymond, i notice you haven’t done your time as a beat cop…. (if josh is here, who’s guarding hades???) may be a cheuksin, a korean toilet ghost who--

jun as mlepclaynos (the clay is silent): opens the door, is questioned by detectives, takes the picture of the suspect. he’s from neokrakagovia and celebrates dogs losing their virginity. jun definitely would! less because he’s weird and more so because he’s so kind and willing to go with the flow that it just happens. later says he’s not mlepnos. did you sell him horse blood? would you like to buy horse blood? he plays the violin beautifully. “guitar.” (ref. some day morning)

[lazarushound]

The Official lazarushound Dean Winchester Playlist

Okay so this playlist is a big deal to literally no one except me but I spent like two hours explaining every single song on my dean playlist and I'll be damned if I don't share it with SOMEONE.

The playlist in question, which I update and add songs too fairly often(ish). It's roughly arranged in order of Dean's story, from pre-canon to the finale. A fair few of the songs are courtesy of catgirlhannibal, whom I adore.

Warning that is is a VERY LONG READ and almost definitely is plagued with typos. Without further ado, here is the 9.5k word explanation of every single song (at time of posting) on the playlist. Call that shit explicable Dean Winchester vibes, complete with my favourite lyrics from each song.

• Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Dean's favourite song! The whole song is basically about having no choice but to keep going, even when things are tough. It's also actually about LOTR which is funny cause Dean's secretly a nerd lol. But yeah, it reflects a lot on Dean's nature as a traveller and someone who never settles in one place for long. Sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I've got to do - I ramble on.

• Travelling Riverside Blues - Led Zeppelin

Dean's other favourite song! Probably not a popular reading of this song but for me, it definitely has a level of queer coding. Asked sweet mama, let me be your kid, she said "you might get hurt if you don't keep it hid" is the most obvious example of it.

• Psalms 40:2 - The Mountain Goats

Very biblical song lol. It's a lot about small town America (as many TMG songs are) and shitty motels which resonates with Dean pretty heavily. Not to mention: He has raised me from the pit and set me high.

• Night Moves - Bob Segar

This one is literally in the show so naturally reminds me of him. But it's about a teenage romance which definitely makes me think of young Dean. I mean, come on: out in the backseat of my '60 Chevy when the man drives a '67 Chevy??

• Father - The Front Bottoms

A few songs on this playlist are pretty much only there for one or two lines. This is not one of them. I could write another essay about this song and how it relates to Dean, every fucking line. You were high school, and I was just more like real life, and you were okay as a girlfriend, but I was just more like his wife 😮‍💨

• Old Number Seven - The Devil Makes Three

This is another song I'm pretty convinced was written about Dean. Once played it on guitar and my dad asked if it was about him so that's all the validation I needed. Angels start to look good to me, they're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep.

• Mission - Alex G

This song to me is very much pre canon/season one Dean. It's all about following orders and being a good soldier, much like Dean's devotion to his father. I was trained to stick to the mission, I was trained, I kept it on track. To me, Mission has a slightly bitter tone, as though the narrator is resentful that they've followed orders so obediently and only suffered as a result.

• Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen

Courtesy of catgirlhannibal. What a surprise, another biblical song. Dean sees himself as nothing more than a soldier, violent and aggressive. He sees his father as a hero, despite the fact that he's an abusive bastard. Well, daddy worked his whole life for nothing but pain, now he walks these empty rooms looking for something to blame.

• Shoulders - Big Thief

Okay, I'd argue this song is more akin to Sam than Dean but fuck you, this is my playlist and I choose the music. And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hands, it's in me, it's in me, in my veins is obviously related to Sam and Azazel but also to Dean and John, as though Dean comes to realise that he's just like his father.

• Celene - Gigi Perez

End of season two! This song is about losing a sibling and is very much the mindset I pictured Dean to be in after losing Sam for the first time. I'd also argue it's how Dean felt when Sam was at Stanford. The other day I thought of something funny, but no one would have laughed but you.

• Like Real People Do - Hozier

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? HELLOOO CASTIEL! Very season four Destiel, those boys will NOT kiss like real people do.

• It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

Okay so post-resurrection Dean is VERRRRRY traumatised which makes it difficult for him to enjoy the things he used to love, including sex. This song is also about his struggle over his feelings for Cas: what happens if I don't like it? I like you.

• Not Allowed - TV Girl

Well, you may not like it but you better learn how cause it's your turn now! Very much following on from It's Only Sex, similar themes in this song but more relating to Dean's insistence on keeping up The Act and pretending he's the same man he was before Hell.

• Presumably Dead Arm - Sidney Gish

Second catgirlhannibal song to make the list. Just to start this off, this isn't the start of anything. To me, this whole song is Dean skirting around his feelings for Cas and trying to pretend they don't exist in hopes they go away eventually. They don't. Honey, you are nothing to me, (but alcohol and dopamine)/(I don't call people anything thought to be so sweet).

• Tangled in Ropes - Holy Locust

I literally wrote a whole essay about this one so I'll keep it short with just the best lyric. Had a laugh made of wax, house made of butter, how they melted that summer.

• Hate Yourself - TV Girl

If there's one thing we've learned about Dean Winchester, it's that the man loves to use sex as a means to avoid his problems. How long will it take? Before you start to hate yourself and go straight into the arms of someone else is just straight up Dean struggling to give himself time to grieve and overcome his trauma. He'd rather just hookup with someone else and pretend it doesn't make him hate himself more and more every time.

• Cherry Wine - Hozier

See: my whole essay about this song and Destiel. And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.

• Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus

Another catgirlhannibal song! I see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest. This song to me feels like Dean kicking himself for every trusting Cas, after Cas betrays him for the first time. To accept Cas as his family was going against his every instinct to close himself off from outsiders, and Cas just proved him right by betraying him.

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridges

Okay this one is basically just for I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid lol. It just perfectly encapsulates Dean, bitter and resentful towards Cas whilst simultaneously missing him so much his heart aches.

• I'm Your Man - Mitski

Oh, woof. Continuing the betrayal arc, this song is all about Dean's guilt. It's his fault Cas fell from Heaven, his fault this angel isn't holy anymore. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again.

• Not Strong Enough - Boygenius

Where do I start? Always an angel, never a god 😮‍💨 I think if you played this song to Dean it would break him a little bit. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!!!

• Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms

I was aware of this song but catgirlhannibal brought to my attention that it's Destiel coded 🧐 Who did I think I was? Who did I think that I could be? Oh, how dare me. Dean just kicking himself for ever thinking he could allow himself to have something with Cas.

• SHALLOW (PPL SWIM IN SHALLOW WATER) - Saya Gray

Okay, this one is a bit of a "hear me out." I'm seeing Mother Mary, she says I'm closer to Hell than the clouds are to Heaven. Dean's mother is called Mary so she's LITERALLY Mother Mary which scratches my brain very nicely. Obviously Dean sees himself as a sinner and doomed for Hell, despite the fact that he's a hero. And I left my enemies, cause nobody hates myself more than me, GOOD LORD DOES THAT MAN LOVE SOME SELF LOATHING. My mother's evil and the angels too is soooooo self explanatory. Dean has an idealistic version of Mary in his head which is challenged when she comes back to life and he interacts with her as an adult. There's also the fact that real angels aren't as "good" as you'd think. Sometimes I don't think I'm cherished enough.

• John Wayne Gacy, Jr. - Sufjan Stevens

This song is an allegory for being gay. The narrator sees himself as evil, just as bad as the serial killer for which the song is named, just because he's gay. And in my best behaviour, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.

• Always - Panic! At the Disco

Another one that is less obvious without me explaining it lol. The light in this song is a reference to the Great Gatsby which is a whole other queer coded story in its own right. But I always (hehe) picture this song as Dean struggling with Cas' feelings for him which are becoming more and more evident. It was always you falling for me particularly stands out to me, along with you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

• Star Tripping - Kevin Atwater

Okay I looooooove love this song. But it's another song which relates to God and being queer. It's about a very toxic relationship, in which one person is relatively okay with their sexuality and the other is incredibly repressed (seem familiar?). I could use any lyric from this song but I'll go with: you think He made you wrong, I think you're giving Him way too much credit, crying at the party, know it only bothers you if you let it, later you can kiss me, blame it on the stuff you took to forget it.

• The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

Another Panic! song 💀 also from vices and virtues. Another "hear me out." There's the more obvious I will come back to life but only for you but I also think the rest of the song relates pretty strongly to Destiel. You said if you don't let it out, you're gonna let it eat you away, I'd rather be a cannibal baby, animals like me don't talk anyway. For me, it strongly resembles Dean's view of himself, an attack dog. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love. And obviously that man loves to repress stuff and let it eat him away, so to speak.

• Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

Lawd. This song has a lot of queer subtext in and of itself. It's all about adoring someone to the point where you become insecure because you know you'll never be as good as them. The song is bitter and resentful whilst simultaneously loving and adoring. I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you, yeah I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. He hates himself because he loves Cas. HE HATES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOVES CAS.

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Dean does not let himself have nice things. Lord knows, it would be the first time. This song feels pretty self explanatory to me lol.

• Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes

Okay this is my favourite song of all time so I'm slightly biased for including it HOWEVER. I feel it also applies to Dean pretty well. We're now at the point in the story where Dean is about to/has already lost Cas. This song invokes an incredibly deep feeling of nostalgia for me, like looking back on when things were better. Now it is night time, maybe we're cruising avoiding the anti-cruise, like tell me this isn't Dean and Cas just driving around Kansas cause Dean can't sleep 😭 and don't even get me fucking started on so don't leave me here on my own, by the time fear takes me over, will we still be rolling? Feeling oblivion cause this song makes me cry every time I hear it I stg.

• Who We Are - Hozier

Poor Dean :( bro has just lost his best friend, and is now realising that he'll never be able to tell him how he felt. It's like he's seeing things plainly for the first time, realising what he's been missing. He never had Cas because they spent so long avoiding their relationship, and now it's too late. You only feel it when it's lost, getting through still has its cost, quietly, it slips through your fingers, love, falling from you drop by drop.

• Crack Baby - Mitski

I don't know if I really need to say more than: crack baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and you know that you want it back.

• Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

This is another song that's in the show (dark side of the moon, I love you) so naturally reminds me of Dean. It might be a bit on the nose putting it right at the end but it just feels like Dean finally letting himself rest (die of tetanus). Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore.

[sawtastic-sideblog]

Bringing this back for part 6. I haven't been writing lately and just needed something fun and easy to do to bring me back into it. Enjoy.

Jill: Birthday dinner for John tonight at 7. Don’t be late.

Lawrence: Do I need to bring anything?

Jill: If you want to bring a side or a dessert. Oh and some plates.

Lawrence: Sure thing. Do you have a preference of what dish it is or brand of plate?

Amanda: aren’t all paper plates the same?

Mark: No, apparently some are stronger and some are thinner. 

*Adam Standheight sent a photo*

Jill: Adam, I normally don’t ask questions I don’t want to know the answer to, but what the fuck?

Amanda: MY EYES!!!!!

Mark: Could’ve gone my whole life without seeing that.

William: It looks broken?

Logan: How did you break it?

John: Have you been to the doctor?

Adam: SORRY!!!!! WRONG MESSAGE THREAD!!!!!

Adam: It was meant for Larry only. I wanted his professional opinion on if I should go to the doctor.

Lawrence: Adam, you have a compound fracture in your forearm. How are you not at the hospital yet?

Adam: Because I am stuck. 

Mark: Where? I’ll come get you.

Adam: Funny story. I stopped a robbery. Two big dudes were trying to rob a lady of her purse. I took pictures. They saw me and chased me. They left the lady alone.

Amanda: And they beat the shit out of you?

William: Did they do this to you?

Adam: No. They never got the chance because I ran fast. I made it to the rich people lake houses and went to jump over a canoe. 

Jill: Did the canoe somehow break your arm?

Adam: Technically yeah. My foot clipped it and I landed weird on my arm. I rolled down the bank a little and I’m now caught in a net of some sort. I panicked and now I’m just here.

John: Do you know where you are?

Adam: In a net. I feel like a fish. Or a butterfly.

Adam: Oh shit. I hear voices. 

Adam: It’s the homeowners!

Lawrence: Adam?

Mark: Adam?

John: Are you okay?

Amanda: What if they killed him?

Logan: I’m sure he’s fine. The homeowners are probably shocked.

William: Mark, you’re a detective. Detect where Adam is.

Adam: I still live. The homeowners helped me out of the net and gave me ice. They called an ambulance for me so now I’m waiting outside on the front porch. 

John: Are you okay?

Adam: My arm is throbbing.

Lawrence: Naturally with a compound fracture. Any other injuries?

Adam: None that I can feel right now. My body has pretty much gone numb except my arm. 

Lawrence: Try no to move your arm anymore. I’ll meet you at the hospital. 

John: Me too.

Jill: Lawrence, what do we need to do to make Adam a bit more comfortable when he gets home?

Lawrence: Make sure he has something to prop his arm on, we’re going to need ice, some cloths to put between the ice and his cast, over the counter pain medicine. 

Lawrence: Adam, did you break your dominant hand?

Adam: Whatever the left one is.

Lawrence: You’re right handed so you’re good.

Lawrence: If anyone has a small stress ball, kind of like the ones you use when you give blood, he’ll need one. 

Adam: What is all of this for?

Lawrence: You. You’ll need to prop and ice your arm to try to prevent any more swelling, the pain meds is to make sure you don’t get too dependent on the heavy stuff the hospital will more than likely prescribe, and the stress ball is to keep your hand moving.

Adam: Hey Chris and Pam’s daughter just came home. It’s the girl I helped.

Adam: Her name is Claire.

Adam: She hugged me.

Adam: We’re all hanging on the porch. I hear sirens.

John: I’ll meet you at the hospital.

Lawrence: I’m out front, John. You can ride with me. 

Adam: I feel bad. What about John’s birthday dinner?

John: We’ll postpone it. You’re more important.

Jill: I’ll order us some pizza. Extra cheese, Adam?

Adam: Yes please.

Amanda: I call dibs on signing your cast first.

[truthfulpoint]

Sex on the Beach

Slowly, but surely, this cruise was turning into a disaster. I had booked the trip to celebrate my recent tenure as a professor and also to spend some time with Jessica after long months of being cooped up with my research. Now the paper was submitted, and the initial reviews were very promising.

The boat was beautiful and the crew had great attention to detail. The food was fantastic and the other people on the boat seemed pretty nice for the most part. They were obviously way richer than me and Jessica were. I had basically used all the money from the research award I won for my last major paper to pay for the trip.

But somehow Jessica was in a foul mood. She stayed on deck with a book most of the time and didn’t partake in many of the activities that the crew organized for their guests. There, she was usually joined by a man of about 50 or so years by the name of John. John was constantly on his phone or hacking into a laptop and hardly seemed to notice the beautiful surroundings of the Greek islands.

John’s wife Veronica was much younger than her husband was, I guessed about 34 or 35. She had to look of a typical trophy wife with lots of time for manicures, pedicures, Pilates and appointments at the hairdresser. Initially that had put me off, but when I chatted with her, I was actually surprised that I quite enjoyed her company. She was a physical therapist and worked part time in an institution for children that needed rehabilitation after accidents. They apparently didn’t need the money, judging by his watches, John seemed to be richer than God, but it gave her a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

As we both were often flying solo for the group activities, we naturally gravitated towards each other. We chatted a lot over the first few days of the trip and got to know each other pretty well.

———-

One evening, after another delicious dinner on the beach, Jessica got up and said: “ I’m tired. I’ll go to bed. Don’t come too late, please. And don’t drink so much wine, it makes you snore.”

“ yes ma’am” I snapped, in an effort to lighten the mood. But Jessica just glared at me.

Embarrassed and angry, I turned to my glass of wine. What was going on? Why was Jessica so angry with me?

“Another evening all by our lonesome?” said Veronica as she walked over from the table where she had been sitting. She seemed a little tipsy.

“Yep. You too?”

“Yes. He’s already back on that damn computer.”

Maybe more than just a little…

She took a big gulp out of her wine glass.

“ I’m sorry”

“ You don’t need to be sorry. He should be!”

Another big gulp. Veronica seemed angry and determined to get very drunk.

“ He used to be different. He was always a hard worker, but when we were dating, he somehow always managed to find the time for a weekend away or a fancy restaurant.”

Another gulp finished the glass. One of the stewards quickly came by and filled it up again.

“ Now he seems married to his work. Some evenings he doesn’t even come home.”

Half the glass gone again.

“Or maybe he’s fucking his secretary. I don’t know. But I couldn’t care less. It’s not like I’m missing out on much.”

Ouch. Low blow.

“I mean, for real, he couldn’t even get it up without the little blue pills on the best of days. And now he’s so absent-minded with me, that he probably couldn’t tell my butt from my boobs”

Oh man. This woman was angry.

“ Well, why are you still with him?”

“ I don’t know. I guess it’s comfortable. I have to admit that I’ve gotten used to the finer things in life. He also donates a ton of money to the children’s rehab center where I work. That would probably dry up if we get divorced. And that would really suck.”

“Hmmm...” I didn’t really know what to say. “We should probably get to bed.”

She chugged her drink. She was very drunk now.

“Can I stay with you tonight? You’re cute.”

“I think you should return to your cabin and sleep it off, Veronica. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Adam. Sweet dreams”

Walking over the beach back to the boat, I couldn’t get Veronica’s words out of my head - “you’re cute”. She was more than cute. She was beautiful. And the more time I spent with her, the more I felt myself drawn to here.

That night, I did not sleep well. I tossed and turned, awaking often. Every time I woke up, my thoughts immediately returned to Veronica.

———-

The next morning, Veronica showed up to breakfast with a pair of large dark sunglasses and washed down three aspirin with her green tea.

———

Later that day, we had a guided tour of some ancient ruins. Of course, Jessica and John stayed on the boat. During the tour Veronica motioned me to stay back a little.

She hooked her arm under mine and started talking. “Hey Adam. About last night. I think I said a lot of stupid stuff. I was angry and a little drunk. Can we keep this to ourselves?”

“Of course “

“ I mean, I didn’t really mean it. At least most of it.”

“Which part did you mean?”

She squirmed a little and laughed nervously.

“well, I seem to remember that I might have mentioned that I thought you were cute? That part’s actually true”

“I’m flattered. I don’t often get compliments from drunk married women.”

“Now you’re being mean. I just repeated it, and I’m totally sober. Just very hung over.” She laughed and pulled herself closer to me, holding on to my arm.

I have to admit, it felt good to be complimented by a beautiful woman. I suddenly noticed how much I missed being touched. Things between Jessica and me had been pretty cooled down for a while now.

I brushed the thought aside, and we rejoined the group.

————-

The the next day was a beach day. We all chilled under the parasols and pavilions the crew had set up and enjoyed piña coladas and watermelons.

Veronica wore a white bikini that I hadn’t seen yet. After a week under the Mediterranean sun, she was quite tanned, and the white bikini complimented her bronze skin. When she went for a swim and came back out of the water, I had flashbacks of Ursula Endres coming out of the water in that James Bond movie. Hot!

I also went for a swim, but pretty soon had to stop because my shoulder and neck started to hurt. When I came out of the water, I was massaging my neck and wincing with pain. Veronica noticed me.

“What’s the matter? Hurt yourself?”

“ I don’t know. I went for a swim, and I had this strong pain going from my neck to my shoulder.”

“Want me to take a look at it? You’re a little bigger than my normal patients, but the basic mechanics are the same.”

“Sure, thank you!”

She sat me down on the edge of one of the deck chairs and started to examine my neck and shoulders with her hands. Admittedly, I quite enjoyed that. Probably more than I should.

She manipulated my arm and shoulder and stroked different muscles in my neck. The pain started to ease a little, but I hoped she would keep going for a little while longer.

“You are very tense. Probably from all that work hunched over a computer. I can show you some exercises that should help your neck and shoulder mobility”

For some reason, her hand was still resting on my pectoral muscle. I looked at it and she withdrew it, however, not without lightly brushing over my nipple in the process. I felt my nipple harden and blood rushing to my groin. She noticed it too, and gave me a little smile.

———

In the afternoon we were back on the boat. I was heading to the bathroom, which happened to be in a very tight corner of the upper deck. As walked I towards the door, it opened and Veronica emerged. The entry was so tight that we couldn’t avoid brushing against each other. As we were both still in swim clothes, a lot of skin touched. I had the impression that neither of us tried to minimize that contact.

————

That night I woke from a dream. I didn’t remember any details, but I clearly had the searing image of Veronica in her white bikini in my head. I was sporting a capital boner.

Jessica was sleeping next to me. I glanced over at her and then started to masturbate. I closed my eyes and imagined Veronica in her white bikini coming towards me. Taking the bikini off and giving me a free view of her perfect boobs. Cut. Veronica, reaching for my boner. Cut. Veronica rubbing my cock with her perfectly manicured hands. Cut. Veronicas mouth closing around the head of my cock. Cut. Veronica giving me a sloppy blowjob. Cut. Veronica turning around, spreading her butt cheeks and whispering “ I want you to fuck me in the ass” Cut. My dick in Veronica’s ass. Cut. My dick pumping cum into Veronica’s ass.

With that image, I came. Hard. Cum rained on my stomach and my chest. My cock twitched and a pool of cum gathered on my belly.

Jessica raised her head. “ what’s going on?” She asked sleepily.

“Nothing. I just had a vivid dream and moved around. Go back to sleep.”

I got up and went to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up with a towel and looked at myself in the mirror, slightly embarrassed. Not only had I fantasized about a married woman. While my girlfriend was laying next to me. Also, I had never been into anal sex, but that fantasy sent me right over the edge. I wasn’t sure that I could look Veronica in the eye tomorrow.

—————

As luck would have it, Veronica joined us at our breakfast table the next morning. I had the impression that Jessica didn’t like Veronica particularly well. But I decided to ignore it.

I grinned at her sheepishly and tried to make the most boring conversation ever. She looked at me puzzled.

“Final day in paradise, huh?”

“Yeah I can’t believe the 10 days are already over”

“ Well, Adam, it was very nice to get to know you and for you to keep me such good company during the excursions”

What was she doing? Jessica was sitting right next to us.

“Uhm, yeah. There were quite a few nice people on this boat.” I tried to downplay and defuse the situation.

“Yes, but very few as nice and gentle…manlike as you. I hope to see you later!”

And with that, she walked away, swaying her hips just a little too much for Jessica not to notice.

———-

When we got to our cabin, I could sense that Jessica was fuming. We had hardly closed the door when she went at me:

“ What was that bimbo all about? Thanks for keeping me such good company? Nice and gentle? What the fuck?”

I didn’t know what to say. “Hey, Veronica is not a bimbo, she’s actually pretty nice”

“Yeah seems like it. More than nice from what I can see”

Well, that maybe wasn’t the best thing to start with.

“What do you expect me to do? You never wanted to come to these activities. Most of the other guests went as couple, so obviously the two people abandoned by the partners kind of stuck together.”

Not helping things…

“I didn’t abandon you. I just wasn’t feeling like doing these stupid excursions anyway. This entire trip was all about you, and your fancy research award. Look, I’m Adam, the neuroscience hot shot.”

Ouch.

“Baby, where is this coming from? I booked this trip for us!”

“You booked this trip for you!”

“I’m sorry you’re not having a good time. What can I do?”

“I don’t know. I need some space”

“Ok baby. No problem. I’ll go and come find you later”

“No, I mean more permanently. I think I don’t want you in my life, at least for a while”

“Baby, what the hell?”

“When we get back to London, I think I will stay with my sister for a while”

I was dumbstruck. Without another word, I turned around and left the cabin.

On deck, I ran into Veronica.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Everything ok?”

“No everything is not OK! Jessica and I just broke up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that!”

“You’re sorry? You’re part of the reason! If you hadn’t done your little show this morning, none of this would’ve happened!”

“Is that so? Well, if you ask me, your relationship has to be in a pretty bad place if one tiny flirt manages to break it”

She probably had a point, but I was not willing to admit that just yet.

“Stay away from me.”

—————-

Lunch was on the beach that day again. For me it was a sad affair, as I sat alone, sulking in a corner.

Veronica came up to me.

“Can we talk?”

“Hm, okay”

“I’m sorry about this morning. I shouldn’t have done that. Even if I stay by my point that such a stunt could never derail a healthy relationship “

“Yeah, you’re probably right “

“The fact of the matter is that I see us as mirror images. Both stuck in sorta crappy relationships. And…”

“What and?”

“Nevermind. Why were you looking at me so funny this morning?”

“Nevermind”

“You tell me your’s, I tell you mine…”

“Okay, okay. But you go first.”

“Ok, here goes. I thought we were both stuck in sucky relationships. And that I would much rather be with someone like you. Well, you specifically.”

“Oh, wow!”

“Yeah, I know. It’s confusing. I probably have to sleep on this a bit. But I definitely have a bad crush on you.”

She blushed. “Now tell me your’s”

“Ok, whatever. I had a dream about you “

“A sex dream?”

“Uhm, yup” I blushed.

“Was it good?”

“I don’t want to talk about it”

“Did we make out? Did we sleep together?”

“Well, sort of”

“Did you cum in your dream?”

“No, not in the dream”

“What do you mean, not in the dream”

I squirmed under the interrogation. “Well, afterwards “

“Afterwards? What do you mean? Did you jack off thinking of me?”

My head was probably red as a tomato now. “Hm, yeah, kind of”

“Oh, wow. I don’t know whether to be offended or flattered… but it is kind of hot to think that I make you horny.” She giggled.

“It was just a dream! These things happen all the time!”

“Well, why don’t we try if was really ‘just a dream’?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come with me”

She took my hand and we walked away from the tables to a small secluded bay behind some rocks. Veronica undid the Pareo she had been wearing and spread it on the sand. Underneath, she wore that bedeviled white bikini.

“Adam, I am so sorry. I’ve been a bad girl”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ve been really bad. I think I deserve some punishment “

“Are you kidding me?”

“No Adam. You need to show me my place”

With that, she walked up to me and pinched my nipple.

“Ouch”

“Oh, so sorry. Let me make it better.”

She stepped up to me, pressed her body against me and started gently licking the pinched nipple. A familiar tingling traveled from there up and down my spine. Blood rushed to my groin. I gave in.

“You are right, you have been bad” I said with a raspy voice.

“Yes Adam”

“But I don’t believe in punishment.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I believe in showing the right way” With that I grabbed her hair and started gently, but firmly pulling it down. Her face came up, and I started kissing her greedily. I kissed her mouth, her chin, her neck. Her breathing accelerated.

I let go of her hair and unclasped her bikini top. Her tits sprang free. Glorious, glorious tits. I pinched one of her nipples. Pretty hard.

“A little payback”

She gasped from the mixture of pleasure and pain.

She untied the string of my shorts and let my cock spring free. She wrapped her hand around its base and started stroking. I had a flashback to my dream. This was just like it, but a million times better.

She kneeled down and put my cock in her mouth. Pretty soon, she was giving me a deep, sloppy blowjob.

I needed more. I needed her. I pulled her up. I turned her around and bent her over one of the nearby rocks. Her hips and ass swayed in front of the cock glistening from her saliva. I grabbed her round ass and pushed myself inside her. Her pussy was soaking wet and my dick slid in and out with ease. I started to thrust into her. All the pent up anger and frustration over the trip, the breakup, about Jessica went into my pushes. I fucked her hard.

“Yes, yes, yes” - little screams of pleasure came out of her mouth

“Is this just like your dream?”

“Almost” I gasped between to panting breaths.

“What’s different?”

“In the dream I was fucking your ass”

“Oh, do you want to do that?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never really done it. “

She bent over a little further, put her hands on her butt cheeks, and spread them a little.

“Adam, I want you to fuck me in the ass”

I was stunned. What was happening?

I pulled my cock out of her pussy. It twitched and glistened from her juices. I hesitated. Veronica reached around and placed the tip of my cock on her anus.

“Come on! Take me just like in your dream!”

I pushed forward. My glistening tip, lubricated with her juices pushed past the initial resistance. I heard Veronica take in a sharp breath, as she adjusted to the new sensation. I started to slowly push into her. The sensation was phenomenal. I started moving back and forth. Feeling her tight muscles gripping my cock, hearing her heavy breaths, and seeing my dick disappear inside her caused a rush of arousal and excitement. I realized I would come very quickly like this.

“Veronica, I don’t know how long I’ll last like this.”

“Don’t worry about it. This one’s for you”

As if her words had unlocked something, I felt my orgasm build. A powerful wave of lust and excitement washed over me and triggered my dick to explode into Veronica’s ass. She felt the pulses of my orgasm, and pushed her butt back, taking my cock all the way in. There she stayed, just lightly swaying , until she felt that my penis stopped twitching.

I pulled my dick out, panting. She got up and turned around to me. Her hand on my cheek, she kissed me sensually.

“THAT was not a dream.”

———-

After we had calmed down and gotten dressed again, we went back to our table. The steward spotted us and asked if we wanted to drink anything.

Veronica smiled: “I’ll have a Sex on the Beach, please”

[12timetraveler]

Something In The Orange

Chapter 12

Summary:

The Matthews family take you and Charles to their cabin in Big Valley for a winter vacation.

Notes:

Y'all I am SO SORRY for how long this chapter has taken.

I hit some major burnout over the last few months. So much so that I've actually been put on short-term disability leave from work. I'm starting to feel a bit better and I've been able to do more writing, but I'm still pretty worn out if I'm honest.

As always, this chapter was written entirely on my phone, so any weird typos, autocorrect words, etc you can blame on my phone haha.

Anyway I hope I haven't lost all of you who've been here since the beginning.

As always below is a little preview. Read the whole chapter and the entire work (so far) on AO3

Reminder: You must be logged in to an AO3 account to read my works as I've had to lock them down to protect from AI Scraping.

~~~~~~

You couldn't help but smile as you examined the three pins on your Christmas stocking. Three Christmas seasons with the Matthews family, each marked with a little pin. The silver horse-drawn sleigh from the first year. Then a little mouse sleeping next to a piece of cheese with a bow from the second year. And this year was a cowgirl boot and hat dusted in snow.

Christmas was a month ago, of course. Hosea hadn't had time to take down the stockings. Or all the lights. Or the menorah. But you were actually kind of glad about that. It was nice to see the cheerful sight, even in late January.

Going back to campus after the winter holidays this year had been awful. You tried your best to be a good student, to get excited for your classes and get right back into studying. But you found your thoughts drifting more and more to your beloved. Wondering what he was doing. Missing his sweet voice, his herbal scent, his long cock. It had been torture.

Monday was a bank holiday, meaning the high schools and the universities had a three-day weekend. So Friday afternoon you and Arthur drove up to Firwood Rise to pick up Hosea, John, and the horses to go on a little weekend trip. The plan was to go out to a cabin Hosea and Dutch shared out in Big Valley, West Elizabeth.

Aside from a couple ranches, it was still mostly wild, and even in the winter the trail rides were unforgettable. Or so Arthur said. This was your first expedition with the Matthews men out to this cabin. You'd never been to Big Valley, but it was legendary for the beautiful, natural scenery.

Charles was going to meet you at the cabin early Saturday morning, since he had a late class on Friday. His old beat-up truck was a beast when it came to snowy mountain roads, so you weren't worried. And then the lot of you would spend the weekend trail riding, maybe doing some snow sports, just having a good time.

So that's how you found yourself standing in the Matthews living room, smiling at the stockings while the others loaded up the truck. You could hear John and Arthur yelling out in the yard as John backed the truck up to the horse trailer to hitch up. Occasionally Hosea's voice would cut in if the two got too close to an argument as John insisted he could do it while Arthur was adamant he was doing it wrong. Typical of the two brothers.

You heard the truck turn off, and the driver door open. “Told you I had it covered,” John's voice echoed just loud enough that you could hear from inside. You couldn't make out Arthur's retort, but based on the way John began to snap back, only to be cut off by Hosea’s sharp scolding, you could only imagine it was more brotherly banter.

The door opened a moment later. “Those boys,” Hosea tutted, stepping into the house, looking a little irritated, cheeks rosy from the cold. His face softened when he spotted you, and he shut the door behind him, glancing out the window to make sure John and Arthur weren't near before stepping toward you and pulling you into his arms.

“Hey,” you murmured, tilting your head up expectantly.

“Hi,” he whispered before granting your request for a kiss. “I've missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You nuzzled against his chest, the fabric of his jacket cold from the winter chill, but the warmth of him underneath still seeping through.

“The boys are loading up the horses and then we'll be good to go.” Hosea hummed.

“Okay,” you said, stepping back. “Before we go, I need your help with something.”

“Oh?” He asked. You jerked your head towards the stairs, gesturing for him to follow you. Once upstairs you led him to the bathroom, pulling him in and locking the door behind you.

“Dove, it'll only take a few minutes for the boys to get the horses loaded.” Hosea chuckled, immediately clocking what your intentions were.

“Five horses. It'll take them at least ten minutes right? Probably more.” You mumbled, guiding him backwards until he was pinned between you and the sink.

“Something like that,” he sighed as your hands settled on his waist. “The horses are all pretty good at loading.”

“That's enough time for what I have planned.”

[zaritarazi]

i miss behrad so bad actually

AND I DO TOO! I MISS BEHRAD SO BAD! You have actually activated my trap card which is "organic reason to talk about behrad in constantine" which is branching off of this post i made about zari

so the thing about me is, i love behrad and i think he and zari should've fought more. i think we were denied crucial aspects of their characters because they made up so quickly and indefinitely. i think two characters who love each other and sacrifice for each other but also have a really hard time getting along is infinitely more interesting and dynamic than them just kind of hanging out.

so as i've discussed, the tarazis, minor characters in nbc's constantine season 3 he's allowed to be bi in this one, are there to represent the dark marvel fam, to help john against felix faust, he's alive again part 6/?, and to, sometimes, be antagonists. i think that's sexy of them! i won't apologize! it doesn't mean they're the bad guys, antagonizing john constantine is always morally correct

behrad is someone in this universe who appears as more honest and genuine than zari, and maybe sometimes he is! but john also immediately misreads this vibe based on his own patent-pending Constantine Bias and is like oh well obviously zari keeps him under her thumb and he doesn't really want to be involved in this he's just like me in a lot of ways, actually, if i were cool. and handsome. and likable. and tall

but then, twist, behrad is just as cunning as john himself or as zari is! he's fully capable of making his own decisions! once again john was like "this person needs saving" and the person is like, that is my purse, i do not know you!

now that being said, i think behrad is the "nicer" one. i've described minor character in constantine zari tarazi to people as someone who loves humanity but is tired of being around people and who understands the explotative nature of humanity and is very resentful of it. behrad loves humanity without the caveat, and he also, i think, does actually really worry for zari because like sure. teth-adam loves her.

but he is also, fundamentally, not behrad's family. and he doesn't appreciate teth-adam assuming he is, or that he's part of a larger picture. his powers are his. his magic is his. and no one, not john, not teth-adam, not zari, can tell him what's right or wrong. he's behrad, first and foremost. then he's zari's brother. then he's behrad again, but this time with a cool all-black outfit

he doesn't have zari's knack for bargaining for rare items but he does give off extreme "my big sister is zari tarazi i can decide who lives and who dies" vibes sometimes. and we stan

[philosophicalconservatism]

Interesting blog.

I’ve got a question for you seeing as you seem to be American (and American conservatism is different from conservative movements in Europe etc).

Basically, do you agree that the only value in conservatism is preserving the existing order? Because now I’m seeing many of you claim that you just want equality (of opportunity) for everyone but if we went back in time when some of these conversations about equal rights were taking place, many people who were conservative in those times didn’t support these movements for equal rights. So do you think it’s a big disingenuous to claim that equality is a conservative principle? It seems like defending the status quo is and I don’t even mean that in a derogatory way - it’s just what I’ve noticed. For example, when there was a push to have equality of opportunity in education so that women and black people could equally be admitted and partake, the traditional minded men didn’t support this. When gay people were fighting to have equality of opportunity when it came to marriage, it was the conservative side that said no.

It’s only now that women and minorities have rights and more access/efforts being made to address inequalities that conservatives are talking about equality of opportunity. They had no problem stipulating that only white men could access many positions and schemes for a long time.

Having read the complete version of your question (it of course would not fit within a single post) I would say that your concept of American Conservatism seems to be a caricature of it created by its American ideological opponents.

The first thing that must be noted is that an American conservatism will necessarily differ from a European conservatism in at least one crucial respect. European nationhood is based upon ethnic identity, while the American nation is based upon a particular set of abstract political ideals. What this means is that logically an American political Conservatism will consist of an impulse to preserve that specific set of ideals. One of the most important of those ideals is individual liberty, and so that is where the American conservative commitment to that principle originates. Conservatives do not believe in identity politics or group rights. They do not believe in "women's rights" or "Black rights" or "gay rights". They believe only in individual rights. Therefore If someone wishes to advocate a particular right they must clearly demonstrate that it naturally extends from the notion of individual liberty itself. This goes for the purported right to a state sanctioned "same-sex marriage" which you mention in the full version of your comment.

Now the American president Abraham Lincoln contended in his famous Coopers Union Address that recognizing the universal right of slave holders was not actually a Conservative position. Lincoln stated the following in addressing the pro-slavery side of the country.

"What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried? We stick to, contend for, the identical old policy on the point in controversy which was adopted by 'our fathers who framed the Government under which we live;' while you with one accord reject, and scout, and spit upon that old policy, and insist upon substituting something new. "

The problem with the stance that support for slavery was the "Conservative" position is that slavery was a contested issue from the very beginning of the American republic. The original American Declaration of Independence contained a condemnation of the institution of slavery, but it was removed due to opposition from the Southern states (and the U.S. required the support of every state to prevail in the Revolution). Every single one of America's major founding fathers is on record as condemning the institution of slavery and its morality (including those who owned slaves such as Jefferson and Washington). Here is John Quincy Adams (sixth president and son of founding father John Adams) on the issue.

"The inconsistency of the institution of domestic slavery with the principles of the Declaration of Independence was seen and lamented by all the patriots of the revolution, by no one with deeper and more unalterable conviction than by the author of the Declaration himself....Never, from their lips, was heard one syllable of attempt to justify the institution of slavery. They universally considered it as a reproach fastened upon them by the unnatural step-mother country; and they saw that, before the principles of the Declaration of Independence, slavery, in common with every other mode of oppression, was destined sooner or later to be banished from the earth. ." (1837)

Now racial equality was another matter. Not even Abraham Lincoln believed in that, because the men of this era were genuinely ignorant on this topic. They falsley believed that certain races of men were naturally superior to others, so they were doubtful about whether the supposedly inferior races could fully function as citizens in society. This belief was not really unique to one side or the other. When we fast forward to the era of the American Civil Rights movement in the late 20th century we find Liberals who championed the cause of the working class and of labor unions fighting for racial segregation. In fact the labor unions themselves crafted rules explicitly for the purpose of racial exclusion.

Some on the American Left respond to these observations by still trying to insist that these were Conservatives rather than Liberals, exclaiming that the Conservatives of this particular time were just different from the Conservatives of today. But it means nothing to argue that the Conservatives were the racists of that day if the only evidence you provide for the claim that they were Conservatives is the fact that they were racist. Most of the country (other than the radicalized youth of the counterculture) was what we would today classify as socially conservative. The notion of same sex marriage was of course inconceivable to them, most households were traditional, and pro-life (anti-abortion) candidates like president John F Kennedy flourished within the Democratic party itself (only 5% of the public supported abortion for married couples who merely did not want another child). So this cannot be what one means by calling them "Conservative".

The last thing I should mention on this subject is the Southern Strategy/party switch argument (an idea in American politics which you can Google if you're interested). It is an argument that has been decisively debunked by research that has shown that the American South continued to vote for Democrats with no less frequency than Republicans long after the fight for segregation was lost. The South did not in fact begin to consistently vote Republican until the beginning of the "culture wars" in the early 90's.

As for women's rights, neither party seemed enthusiastic about granting women the vote at first as many feminists concede. The women had to go at it alone for a while, the indifference was not purely a product of ideology. But (as is well known) the Republican party played a significant role in finally getting it done. About two times as many Republicans voted for the 19th Amendment as Democrats, but it was done under a Democratic president. And so again, it isn't clear where the ideological line is here unless you just assume that all those that did not lend enthusiastic support were Conservative by definition (in which case your question about why Conservatives always support these positions is tautological).

Finally, the connection between the idea of Conservatism and political freedom is not entirely a consequence of its American incarnation. Political liberty is a central theme in the writings of the Irish [which is to say European] statesman and author Edmund Burke, the founder of modern Western Conservatism. The idea that Conservatism is the preservation of the status quo whatever it happens to be, leads to a certain paradox. It is a paradox which specifically emerges when we consider the case of the totalitarian state. The head of a totalitarian state is the law. He can dissolve any tradition and nullify any precedent; nothing is sacred. Thus a totalitarian state is in a sense a perpetual revolution. It is actually anti-Conservative. Only a superficial definition of Conservatism would contend otherwise. The first principle of Conservatism is limited government, for without it there can be no grounding social traditions. Burke understood this.

Conservatism does not entirely reject progress, but it is suspicious of the pseudo-progress of utopian ideologies. In Burke's day this was the French Revolution. In ours it is Socialism/Marxism. Conservatives believe that true progress emerges organically within a society, it is not artificially imposed by ideology.

[nightmarefuele]

muse directory.

primaries in big. repression is a huge theme on this blog. smut happens (usually in gruesome ways), but don't expect it.

Dune, Star Wars, general gritty sci-fi;

na-Baron Feyd-Rautha ; austin butler ; draws 98% from the '24 film. Verosha Aniseya ; amandla stenberg Qimir | The Stranger ; manny jacinto ; might feature a knight verse in addition to some canon Ren (of 'the' Ren) ; adam driver ; a heavily divergent/'oc-ified', post(usually)-snoke, visceral horror, gritty lean from star wars' kylo ren. Shin Hati ; ivanna sakhno ; ahsoka. Kylo Ren ; adam driver ; as close to kylo 'canon' as i'm capable of writing, but solely draws from tfa characterization. Mae-ho Aniseya ; amandla stenberg Paul-Muad'Dib Atreides ; timothee chalamet ; leans on the book(+ messiah) from time to time. Lady Margot Fenring ; léa seydoux. Officer KD6-3.7 ; ryan gosling ; blade runner 2049 . Ezra ; pedro pascal ; prospect (2018). Cee ; sophie thatcher ; prospect (2018).

HotD;

Melisande Shahrizai ; oc-ified character lifted from the kushiel's series; testing ; some amalgamized version of saffron vadher with myriem boukadida's vogue covers Aegon II Targaryen ; tom glynn-carney Alicent Hightower ; olivia cooke Aemond Targaryen ; ewan mitchell Rhaena Targaryen ; phoebe campbell Jacaerys Velaryon ; harry collett Addam di Hull ; clinton liberty Rhaenyra Targaryen ; milly alcock, emma d'arcy Mysaria ; sonoya mizuno Helaena Targaryen ; hunter schafer (slightly different interpretation), phia sabban Oscar Tully ; archie barnes Alys Rivers ; gayle rankin, katie mcgrath Baela Targaryen ; bethany antonia

villains, antiheroes;

John Constantine ; keanu reeves Loki Laufeyson ; tom hiddleston ; fuck u i don't consider post-tdw canon. ciao Jonathan Crane ; cillian murphy ; selective muse, likely won't be writing him within gotham just for the sake of gotham. want to explore him thru different subjects and lenses.

bleak, flexible, modern;

Shelly Webster ; fka twigs ; the crow (2024). Lisa Nova ; rosa salazar ; brand new cherry flavor.Code ; manny jacinto ; brand new cherry flavor. Elliot Alderson ; rami malek ; mr. robot. Phillip Price ; michael cristofer ; mr. robot. Leon ; joey bada$$ ; mr. robot. Lisbeth Salander ; rooney mara ; the girl with the dragon tattoo (2011) . Berry Rydell ; young josh hartnett ; freelance private security officer from william gibson's virtual light trilogy, based in retrofuturist nocal and socal. just a guy doing his own thing and getting caught up, routinely, somehow, in the national (but very top-secret) dickfight over some expensive glasses. + virtual reality, or whatever. Control (John Rodriguez) ; bob morley ; based on authority by jeff vandermeer, and annihilation, book and film, exploring hypnosis/mind control and consequent distrust, or outright paranoia. operates at the branch-end of a highly bureaucratic and mysterious organization. eventually ends up at Southern Reach, "...a secret agency that manages expeditions into a place known as Area X, an uninhabited and abandoned coastal area of an unnamed country which nature is gradually reclaiming." 'nature', in this context, being a cute/tame word. refers to his guns as 'gramps', 'grandpa', 'grandpap', etc. 6" tall, impassive. Tangerine ; aaron taylor-johnson ; bullet train . Colin Laney ; tbd. ; has a talent for identifying nodal points. Kid ; dev patel ; monkey man. Benny Cross ; austin butler ; the bikeriders ; characters like these are cute. i basically get to make them ocs.

apocalypse;

Joel Miller ; pedro pascal . Imperator Furiosa ; anya taylor-joy. (alyla browne.) Dr. Dementus ; chris hemsworth. Max Rockatansky ; tom hardy..

cyberpunk, modern sci-fi;

Connor (the Android Sent by Cyberlife) ; bryan dechart. Takeshi Kovacs ; joel kinnaman . Jesper Fahey ; kit young . Kaz Brekker ; freddy carter . Yennefer of Vengerberg ; anya chalotra .

cartoon;

Blitzø ; helluva boss Azula ; atla Silco ; arcane Jinx ; arcane Zuko ; atla

aus are fun. hit me with em or forever hold your peace.

ocs, always subject to adapt and update on a thread-to-thread basis;

Viggo Hurskainen ; firstname aliases include vil, nils, lars ; bill skarsgård ; 'soft' but also murdery. deranged and confused. will break away just as erratically as tag along. backdrops include scandinavian/russian/german mafia, interdimensional southern cthulhian gothic, (vampire) cult, serial killer bullshit, et al. sometimes works as 'housekeeping/cleanup crew.' (for assassinations.) (sometimes is the assassin/ation. or spy.) Oeznik Ambroicz ; cillian murphy ; loosely based on a character from an original script. flexible iterations. director of an institute/facility (sometimes agency, depending on setting and historical values) that focuses on exploring the residual elements that paranormal trauma leaves behind. these elements can be purely psychological, physical, combined, or, sometimes, paranormal themselves. in other iterations, to draw further on lovecraftian or cthulhu mythos elements, oeznik may lean more private investigator, or 'freelance', for his own mysterious and often unexplained purposes. focused and preoccupied when fixed securely inside his element; wary and suspicious when not. Nadya ; sara serraiocco, sara montpetit ; lab experiment turned a) runaway, b) interdimensional spy/assassin, c) something something time shenanigans. or simple modern ones. who the fuck knows. Dorian Yu ; christian yu ; tba. loosely based on christian yu's musical creations. relies either on psychological themes (wherein dorian is bipolar), for stories more grounded in realism, or the supernatural. heavily flexible, works into most (if not all) modern environments. can be taken a vaguely sci-fi or heavily cyberpunk route. (he's fun. smiley ball of energy and sunshine, or depressive and vaguely antagonistic shut-in.) prone to delusions, dissociation, and in severe instances, amnesia. Fifine ; anya taylor-joy ; random modern verse shenanigans. (the) Insomnium ; tbd. ; developed and hatched by a cult of space witches moreso than born. derived from an organically inorganic (or just inexplicable) substance. for tumblr purposes, blends the idea of dune's 'voice'. cult functions similarly on some levels to the b.g., but is entirely an unknown. stems from the same gritty, visceral horror environment and themes as the ren. (especially picky about where i throw this one.) space cultists tba.

[juliasgoodusername]

@miseria-fortes-viros I have a separate big brain project dedicated to finding the "real" Henrietta (spoiler: there isn't one) and I agree that Maggie took inspiration from local place names in her naming conventions! Plus other Maggie Things™ like Catholicism and art lol

Here are my theories:

Blue Sargent = Blue Ridge Mountains + John Singer Sargent. I think we all realized that when she obsessed over Sargent in the dreamer trilogy. But in case it wasn't obvious enough, BLLB is a reference to Carnation Lily, Lily Rose, an absolute banger of a painting by him.

Lynch = Lynchburg, VA + David Lynch (the Twin Peaks guy, but also a traditional artist who often waxes poetic about the nature of art and imagination.)

Ronan = Saint Ronan, a high born Irish saint who exiled himself from his home, performed miracles, and sort of fell in love with a male peasant. There's parallels is all I'm saying.

Henrietta = the name Henry (which means "ruler of the estate" + popular British king name) + maybe a play on Harrisonburg, VA, which is either where Maggie grew up or the biggest city close to where she grew up

Singer's Falls = Singer's Glen, VA - About 15 minutes north from Harrisonburg, matches the description in the book pretty well of being mostly farms

Adam Parrish = Maxfield Parrish + Adam from the Bible + Adam Miller, one of the first Europeans to settle in the Shenandoah valley, and the remains of his home is another short field trip from Harrisonburg. His property was nicknamed "Green Meadows" and I think that old timey farmer tradition is what inspired Maggie to call the Lynch Estate "The Barns." Might be more common on the east coast or Ireland or something but where I grew up farms and properties don't have nicknames, so it felt like an ah-ha moment for me.

In conclusion, if you're insane then we're insane together <3