#just give me the energy to hyperfixate again pretty please and thank you

[lonely-shine]

Heyyyy everyone! 👋🏼

You might've noticed I've been super inactive lately, sorry for that. My health has been kicking my ass both physically and mentally for a while now and it has not been funny. Really feeling the absence of any current hyperfixation too lol, what are my dopamine receptors even doing

But anyway! I guess I've come to say I'm still alive, no worries, but I don't know when I'll be more active again... which is not the news I wanted to give but here we are!

I'll be back, sooner or later. In the meantime, thanks for your patience and don't mind me if I take the time to rearrange some stuff.

Love y'all! 💕

[fallingforyouforeverr]

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝:

summary: just general dating hc's

authors note: I literally change hyperfixations like I change clothes but started watching him on tiktok recently and immediately fell in love so here we are. also its my first time writing hc's so pls don't judge

please consider checking out my masterlist

-> firstly, this man deffo gives golden retriever bf energy. like it takes a while for him to fall in love, but when he does he is absolutely whipped for you

-> seems like the type of guy to act all tough in front of his mates but as soon as you two are in private he just melts

-> definitely a physical touch and words of affectionate bullying affirmation person. he just loves to remind you how much you mean to him

-> he also loves gift giving. nothing makes george happier than seeing your smile when he buys you something you've been wanting for a while or something that reminds him of you . also, you can't tell me he wouldn't buy you a necklace with his initial on it after you guys had been together for a while

-> it genuinely makes him so happy to see you getting along with his friends. he adores it when you come along to recordings with him, especially when he gets to show off in one of chris' football videos, or even just go out to the pub with him and the arthurs.

-> 100% a jealous boyfriend but he's pretty subtle about it. he gets more flirty and touchy, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your neck while death glaring the guy you were speaking to

-> if you ever mention it he will deny it until the day he dies tho (but he can't hide the pink blush spreading across his face)

-> loves to post you all over his social media. whether it be featuring you in his tiktoks or random insta posts of your latest date night, he loves to show you off

-> he's a very busy guy. between planning/filming tiktoks or yt videos and the podcast he sometimes struggles to make time for you but he always makes up for it with cute little surprise dates at your favourite places.

-> lots of dinner dates. he loves food and he loves you so it's the perfect combination. he also loves watching you get ready and helping you put on your outfit and taking it off later

-> george is secretly a bit of a romantic and does a bunch of cute stuff like buying you flowers before each date and paying for you when you go out together

-> unfortunately, he can also be very annoying sometimes, and likes to tease you and rile you up because he finds your reaction funny. he never takes it too far tho, he would never want to hurt your feelings

-> if you ever do get in an argument, he can be pretty hot-headed in the moment but once he calms down he is literally down on his knees begging for your forgiveness

-> overall 10/10 boyfriend, would date again

thanks for reading! feel free to request a fic!

[tamamatango]

My Project Revealed: The Fabled Fanfiction Come to Fruition

Crossing an item off the bucket list before the dopamine gods give out on me. (Yes that’s the story link in case you want to just go there and skip the whole me not shutting up part)

Back in my most active period in the Keroro fandom, I tried and failed multiple times to write a fanfic; might’ve even talked about it here at some point. But for one reason or another, it just never panned out, and I ultimately fell out of it for a few years before I managed to publish anything. However, I got back into the practice with my next hyperfixation, so now that I’ve returned to frog hell again, I knew I had to do what teenage me could not.

I can’t say this is “the fanfic I always wanted to write,” because I ended up scrapping whatever I had started all those years ago. When this started to come together in my head, it initially seemed way too ambitious given the limited time I have and where my strengths and weaknesses lie as a writer…but I got possessed by the artsy demon or something and started to write it anyway. Whoops.

To Chase a Butterfly asks one simple question: What if Kururu actually failed to save Saburo at the end of episode 229? Okay that’s not really a simple question, considering it leads to a whole emotional and physical journey about grief and companionship and space-timey shenanigans. But basically, Kururu goes “bet” and attempts to bring him back to life. Naturally, the deuteragonist of such a story is…Dororo? Yes, at the central conflict of the story is Kururu’s friendship with Saburo, but it’s Dororo who serves as his confidant/partner in crime over the course of the story, and so I consider this to double as a KuruDoro fic as well—though I will make it clear now that it’s not conclusively romantic, so you can decide if that’s the direction they go in or if it stays platonic, and it works either way.

As of the latest update from. Uh. 15 minutes ago at the time of writing, the fic currently sits at about 60-65% completion and is divided into two parts. Part 1 (chapters 1–6) is the angst/drama-heavy half, which I uploaded in full as a batch drop. Part 2 (7+) is more action/adventure, sort of in the vein of what you’d expect from one of the Keroro movies, and I am updating it chapter-by-chapter, since it was getting too unsustainable to try to dump it all at once. AO3 has the most robust features, so that’s where it’s hosted for now, but I know people have very understandable problems with that site, so I’ll consider porting it elsewhere if that’s something anyone is interested in.

Well, that’s enough yammering from me. If you like the idea, please do check it out. Things are starting to heat up as the climax approaches, especially with the introduction of a surprise third major character who very longtime Kirb fans miiiight faintly recall. And if you’re already following it—it’s been up for a while now, just waited to discuss it here to temporarily save myself from potential embarrassment—thanks for your support, and I hope you look forward to the rest! Part 2 is very research/planning heavy and has been pretty challenging to write so far, but I intend to see this all the way through damn it. And yeah, this is what’s been pulling my focus away from the blog, but there will still be posts here whenever I feel like putting energy into an essay and/or next real info drop about the new anime (BNP gimme something soon please I’m parched).

[angel-anachronism]

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? (Oc x Gender neutral! camp counselour! reader) (DARK)

Hello, dear reader. This oneshot is created after my hyperfixation with summer camp-related things and creepy stories. I might turn this oneshot into an actual book somewhere in the future. Hope you enjoy it, and please send me more requests in the inbox if you have a story you'd like for me to write! ~Luce

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: obsessive behaviours, just overall creepiness, death

"And then, little Patricia opened the door and saw a tall figure...'Who are you?' asked Patricia, not knowing that this tall figure was indeed the Crooked Man from the haunted book she read! " I stood up and put my hands in the air to make myself taller as I growled playfully towards the campers. Some of them got scared, meanwhile others didn't. Mostly the younger campers got scared by my story, but even some of the older ones shivered.

Before I could continue the story, another voice joined from behind me "Alright, my little woodpeckers! It's currently 10:30 PM, which you know what that means, nighttime!" It was Asha, a fellow colleague of mine. The campers didn't seem too pleased that they needed to go to sleep, as some of them whined, and some of them groaned. "Tomorrow we're going canoeing, and we need to be full of energy!"

"Yeah, and if you don't go to sleep, the Crooked Man will come to your cabins, and steal you all!" I joined in, just to help Asha out. This caused the kids to scream and cry. "I was just joking of course! The Crooked Man would never mess with a woodpecker! But just to be sure, we need to go to sleep. I'll make sure to scare him if he does appear!" I reassured the kids, which seemed to have calmed them. Thank god.

"Well, come follow me, while (Y/N) and Isaac make sure no monster will appear – And of course, to put the campfire out!" Asha giggled as the children started following her towards their cabins.

Now I was left here with Isaac, another camp counsellor here at Camp Woodpecker. We got along pretty well not gonna lie. The only thing I'm wondering at the moment is where is Ajax? I haven't seen him tonight one bit.

"So, (Y/N), do you perhaps believe in the Crooked Man?" I heard Isaac ask as they were currently sweeping the grass to get rid of litter.

"Pshht, yeah. I only invented that story to give a good ol' scare to the kids. Why are you asking? Did my stupid story actually scare you?" I giggled.

Isaac began giggling too "Yeah! Shiver me timbers, the Crooked Man will totally come at night and steal my Pokemon card collection!"

We both giggled while cleaning the burnt marshmallows and juice bottles that were on the ground.

"Alright, our job here is done. Now we only need to put out the fire and-" "I don't think we should put out the fire yet. Ajax hasn't appeared back on the campgrounds since hours ago. I'll be waiting for him here." I cut Isaac off as I sat back on the log bench.

Isaac just shrugged "Suit yourself then, see you in the morning. I'll go clean the entrance of the camp. If Ajax comes here, tell him to come help me before we go back to our cabins, OK?" I nodded, to which Isaac smiled and started walking away.

I started waiting for Ajax's appearance for what seemed like hours. Long boring hours, but by what my wristwatch was saying, only fifteen minutes passed.

I sighed as I kept looking at the crackling fire, to not fall asleep. My eyelids felt heavy, but I was trying my hardest to stay awake. As I was slowly falling into the hands of slumber, I heard a shuffling from behind, which woke me up. I looked behind. No one was there except for some bushes. Huh, weird. It might be Ajax trying to fool me.

"Nice try, but you're not scaring me, 'Jax." I yawned, smiling derpily. No response. It might've been an animal. The fire was slowly getting smaller and smaller, leaving only the cabins in the distance to be lit up.

I heard shuffling again. I looked back, tired of whoever or whatever was trying to scare me. This time, instead of being met with nothing, I saw a silhouette come out of the bushes. The fire wasn't really showing who was behind, but all I could see was what seemed like a man with big mouse ears. At this point, I just know that Ajax is trying to scare me by wearing some kind of mouse or rat mask.

"You're really funny, you know that? How about you eat a roasted marshmallow before the fire burns out? Isaac told me they're expecting you to help clean with them the entrance." I smiled towards Ajax, who just started walking towards me and sat on the opposite log bench, taking a marshmallow out of the marshmallow bag Asha brought for the campers, and putting it on a stick while roasting it to the small fire. I still wonder why he's wearing a rat mask.

"You know, my dear mouse... I've admired you from quite afar. You truly are a shining gem in this world full of disease." I heard Ajax say...wait, this doesn't sound like Ajax...

"That sounds...sweet, Ajax..." I said, trying to indirectly ask this man if he was indeed Ajax. I didn't really communicate with Ajax throughout this summer, but something about this new person was...off.

He chuckled. "Oh, how innocent and naive you truly are. Being scared of me? I can hear the fear in your voice, my little mouse. You don't have to be scared of me. I'm just your friendly neighbourhood vermin man."

Okay, now I just know that this is just Ajax in a rat mask. "Stop joking around, Ajax. You're not funny." This seemed to have made Ajax, or how I should call him now "Vermin man", be amused.

"Oh, but I'm not joking. Jokes are supposed to be funny. I'm being fully serious, mouse. You truly are an innocent and pure soul. If only you'd join me...oh, that would be heavenly."

"Alright then. Bye, Jax." I got tired of Ajax's whole prank and just got up and walked away from him. I still couldn't see his face, but I could see the form of his rat mask and how he turned his head towards me.

"Until next time, my love." I heard him say lowly, which I decided to ignore. I won't wait for him any longer if he keeps trying to goof around. He's a grown-ass man, he can do whatever he wants.

As I was walking towards the Cabin, I found Asha looking worried, as police sirens were heard in the distance. What's going on?

"Hey, Ash! What's happening?" I asked. Asha looked at me and frowned with worry.

"I heard from Isaac that you've waited for Ajax to come to the campfire. Well...now we know the reason why he didn't come..." Asha looked as if she was shivering and on the verge of tears. What does she mean, Ajax was just with me a few minutes ago?

Before I could ask any more questions, Asha walked with me towards the entrance, where Isaac was talking to a police officer. The whole camp staff were here, including the camp director, whom I hadn't seen since the interview I had with her when I was getting my job.

I looked at the forensic team as they were zipping a cadaver bag, and immediately ran to see what happened. Did somebody die?

Right as they were zipping the bag, I saw him...Ajax, all bloodied and bruised...Then who was the person I talked to?

[shytastemakerthing]

hiii ♪( ´▽｀) i’m hoping to get a romantic matchup for ensemble stars, please? ♡ if you feel like doing a platonic one as well that’d be super cool but if not then just romantic is fine!!~

my personality type is INFP and my enneagram is 9w1. my sun sign is libra, moon sign is scorpio, and venus sign is virgo. i’m 5’6”, wear glasses, and have long-ish split dyed orange and purple hair and brown eyes. i love getting my hair dyed all kinds of different colors and will probably never again be seen with just my natural hair color lol. for my personality, i’m incredibly socially anxious and have OCD, i would consider myself kind of lazy and very indecisive, but also friendly, empathetic, and super affectionate/cuddly, i love hugs and holding hands especially (〃ω〃) very rarely will i make the first move to talk to someone, that usually only happens if i decide at first glance/meeting that i really REALLY like them, and sometimes even then i won’t. and even if someone new talks to me first, i generally won’t contribute much to the conversation unless we’re talking about one of my hardcore interests or i feel like we really click/they have an energy that makes me feel comfortable talking to them. i always joke that there’s a specific type of extrovert (not to say that it couldn’t be an introvert as well though!) that can get me to like and talk to them easily, otherwise i’ll just shy away from conversation. however, with the people i’m close to, i’m the loud, screaming, silly, obnoxious, emotional one lol.

i’ve always loved collecting dolls, puppets, and stuffed animals my whole life, i get attached to them as individuals and they’re so cute to look at and hold and they make me happy to have~ and they’re super fun to photograph and take with me places! i’d love to make my own plushies one day but i currently don’t know how to sew, but would like to learn. i also really like playing/watching people play video games, mostly nintendo stuff, scary games, some fighting games, and rhythm games. i would also consider drawing a hobby of mine, although i don’t do it as much as i’d like due to a lack of motivation and discouraging anticipation of things not coming out the way i’d like them to. but when i do draw it’s mostly in a cartoony style of characters that i like and sometimes myself and my friends with them, and occasionally original ones as well. i also really love cosplay and fursuiting~ (≧∀≦) my favorite food would be cinnamon chip muffins, although ironically I’m not a huge fan of sweets in general. i like them (mostly), they’re just not my favorites. i tend to prefer salty or spicy things. favorite drink would be diet pepsi.

i get hyperfixated on my interests to the point where it’s all i want to think about and talk about and do. i love love loveee buying merch of my interests!! a lot of times i’ll even find myself tempted to buy/actually buying merch of things i’m not even into if i find the characters/mascots particularly cute or pretty~

my favorite aesthetics are glitchcore, webcore, kidcore, dreamcore, weirdcore, and circuscore. i honestly love all colors and rainbows but if i had to pick a favorite it’d be light pink. according to spotify, my favorite music genres are scenecore, sped up, pop, glitchcore, and pixel. if i met someone who had the same favorite songs as me and wanted to dance to them together (or dance together to any songs, really) i’d probably just melt immediately lol, that’s sooo dreamy (*´꒳`*) my love languages for both giving and receiving are physical touch and gift giving.

okay aaaa i feel like this is already way too long and i’m not even sure if i listed the right things, but i hope it’s okay! i feel like i’m so bad at describing myself haha. thank you so much for taking the time to read all this (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)♡♡

Hello and thank you so much for your request, as well as your patience while I finish with the match-up requests! I hope that you enjoy it! Have a wonderful day/night!

Request: Enstars romantic match-up

I match you with........

Shu Itsuki

Now, it was a bit of a toss up as to who to choose cause there were several that I had in mind but Shu managed to latch on and stay hooked on

Right off the bat, he loves your sense of style. There is just something so unique about it all and the way that you piece it all together just makes it look even better

Let's face it, he has seen similar styles, but there are times where it really doesn't match the wearer or it just wasn't styled right, oh, but he loves how you do it

In some cases, you remind him of Mika in a number of ways, it's rather amusing to him. It would seem that he certainly attracts a certain type of people

Has absolutely taken you to Paris to collect more of these dolls that you are so drawn to you, he certainly sees the appeal

Shu is certainly one to help when it comes to finding your motivation. He understands that as an artist that there are times where you hit a slump and need help getting back out of it, thankfully, he knows just how to help

While he is working, while it may not seem like it, he would certainly listen to you ramble on for hours. There is just something comforting to it, listening to your partner ramble on about something that makes them so happy

In the end, he may not always be the most attentive, as he gets rather caught up in his work, he will be there for you the moment that you call for him

Thank you for your request!

[firstdivisiongirl]

hiii ♪( ´▽｀) i’m hoping to get a romantic matchup for tokyo revengers, please? ♡ i would prefer a male match for this series~

my pronouns are she/her, my personality type is INFP, and my enneagram is 9w1. my sun sign is libra, moon sign is scorpio, and venus sign is virgo. i’m 5’6”, wear glasses, and have long-ish split dyed orange and purple hair and brown eyes. i love getting my hair dyed all kinds of different colors and will probably never again be seen with just my natural hair color lol. for my personality, i’m incredibly socially anxious and have OCD, i would consider myself kind of lazy and very indecisive, but also friendly, empathetic, and super affectionate/cuddly, i love hugs and holding hands especially (〃ω〃) very rarely will i make the first move to talk to someone, that usually only happens if i decide at first glance/meeting that i really REALLY like them, and sometimes even then i won’t. and even if someone new talks to me first, i generally won’t contribute much to the conversation unless we’re talking about one of my hardcore interests or i feel like we really click/they have an energy that makes me feel comfortable talking to them. i always joke that there’s a specific type of extrovert (not to say that it couldn’t be an introvert as well though!) that can get me to like and talk to them easily, otherwise i’ll just shy away from conversation. however, with the people i’m close to, i’m the loud, screaming, silly, obnoxious, emotional one lol.

i’ve always loved collecting dolls, puppets, and stuffed animals my whole life, i get attached to them as individuals and they’re so cute to look at and hold and they make me happy to have~ and they’re super fun to photograph and take with me places! i’d love to make my own plushies one day but i currently don’t know how to sew, but would like to learn. i also really like playing/watching people play video games, mostly nintendo stuff, scary games, some fighting games, and rhythm games. i would also consider drawing a hobby of mine, although i don’t do it as much as i’d like due to a lack of motivation and discouraging anticipation of things not coming out the way i’d like them to. but when i do draw it’s mostly in a cartoony style of characters that i like and sometimes myself and my friends with them, and occasionally original ones as well. i also really love cosplay and fursuiting~ (≧∀≦) my favorite food would be cinnamon chip muffins, although ironically I’m not a huge fan of sweets in general. i like them (mostly), they’re just not my favorites. i tend to prefer salty or spicy things. favorite drink would be diet pepsi.

i get hyperfixated on my interests to the point where it’s all i want to think about and talk about and do. i love love loveee buying merch of my interests!! a lot of times i’ll even find myself tempted to buy/actually buying merch of things i’m not even into if i find the characters/mascots particularly cute or pretty~

my favorite aesthetics are glitchcore, webcore, kidcore, dreamcore, weirdcore, and circuscore. i honestly love all colors and rainbows but if i had to pick a favorite it’d be light pink. according to spotify, my favorite music genres are scenecore, sped up, pop, glitchcore, and pixel. if i met someone who had the same favorite songs as me and wanted to dance to them together (or dance together to any songs, really) i’d probably just melt immediately lol, that’s sooo dreamy (*´꒳`*) my love languages for both giving and receiving are physical touch and gift giving.

okay aaaa i feel like this is already way too long and i’m not even sure if i listed the right things, but i hope it’s okay! i feel like i’m so bad at describing myself haha. thank you so much for taking the time to read all this (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)♡♡

Hi there! It’s not too long at all and you did a great job! This was a hard one. You are such a colorful person that it’s hard to pick. But hopefully you like who you got!

You Got…

Nahoya “Smiley” Kawata!!!

Would love your hair. He might even ask you to do his.

Would cook you excellent food. I don’t know if he is a baker, but I can imagine him learning to make cinnamon muffins just for you.

I feel like your styles vibe because a lot of his clothes are colorful.

Incredibly loyal, so much so that he’d protect you if you feel anxious or scared. He does it for all those he’s loyal to and you’d be no exception.

I could see you two spending hours just talking about your interest.

Game night dates!

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi, when you get the chance I would love a romantic Overwatch matchup!

I go by they/them but I'm pronoun apathetic with a dislike for feminine terms, omnisexual with a preference for more masculine presenting people

I can be pretty chill but I have severe ADHD and all those not so fun little quirks, once I am passionate about something I am deep in that interest for a while, I'm the therapist friend but I would really like someone to comfort me after everything is said and done, a lot of self doubt but to others I seen pretty confident and outgoing, I'm often found listening to music (I'm all over the place with genres so here's my playlist if you'd like to take a look💕 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4jN2o9ifTehuehJHauYgIg?si=Lw70wjgOQ4-HTlVOLIcK4A&utm_source=copy-link ) , I'm very clingy and physically affectionate but I also love giving thoughtful gifts that are handmade most of the time cause I love crafts and little projects.

If you have the time it be really cool if you could make a mini fic for my matchup

Thanks again for letting me know requests were open!

omg hi!!!! im so glad you could get a request in and of course!! i really wanted you to get your matchup in here because i never get overwatch requests lol. I think I have a great character for you though it took a lot of deciding lmaooo

the character I chose for you is...

TRACER!!

you both have almost the same energy, however, she is a little more hype

you both have ADHD (at least im pretty sure she does, i dont know if it was confirmed though) and are able to relate and actually help each other when things get really rough

she presents herself in a very masculine way through her outfits and hair, so I thought it would be perfect!

she loves to listen to you when you get hyperfixated on something

literally had heart eyes when you start going on and on about something you love

she will go to you for comfort when she is feeling down or just outright exhausted, but she will 100% be there for you too listening to everything you need to tell her

she will hype you up all the time telling you how good you look or how amazing you are and it makes you blush and makes you 10x more confident

if you make her a handmade gift, she will cry because it means so much to her

please be clingy because she's the same way and you two will literally be hugging everywhere lmao

just know that she loves you and will care for you all the time

and per your request, here is a little fic :)

MINI FIC

"I'm tired," you heard Tracer's iconic British accent as she walked into the room, her hair a complete mess. "y/n, hold me."

She blipped over to you and fell into your arms as you giggled, falling on the couch behind you. "Tracer, babe, you could give me some warning next time before you teleport into my arms." But you hugged her anyway, pulling her closer into your lap. "Long day, babe?"

Tracer just nodded into your chest, holding you close like you could run off at any second. "Tired."

Her voice was muffled in your chest, so you just ran your fingers in her hair, feeling her fall asleep.

"I love you, Tracer." You said under your breath, kissing her on the forehead.

"Love you too." Tracer's sleepy voice said, her eyes still closed with a smile.

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

[halorocks1214]

before anyone panics: this is not a “leaving the fandom” post. im way too attached to these little blockmen to leave before the story is over (my little meow meow c!crimeb0ys the world (+ others)). HOWEVER i’m not going to sit here and act like my hyperfixation hasn’t been leaking out of me like a broken pipe for a while

it happens with every fandom i’ve “been in.” i get super invested in a media, it allows my creative energy to be flexed to max output, and then i go through a little burnout before repeating the process over and over again. it’s not the healthiest way to engage with stuff, i think, but i’m trying to be more responsible about it

so no, i’m not leaving the fandom. i’m still going to rb art and posts and watch livestreams; i just won’t be an active creator for it. i can’t really think of stories anymore? that’s the whole “flex to max output” thing i was talking about. my brain has been wrung dry, so i’ve decided to hang up the towel before i hurt something ya know. i’ve been taking a little break from social media and it’s been pretty good :D been grinding out leg3nds arc3us like a mf high on crack

but, as i said, i’m still here for good. i’ve made so many friends (mutuals let’s stay in touch!! i would love to keep talking with yall) and my writing skill has grown exponentially because of this content, so i would be remiss to say “okay all of my works relating to this are getting dropped” and leave it at that. i looked through all my fics and decided which ones i’m going to finish, which have been listed out here for those who follow me for my writing

wips i plan to finish because they are my pride and joys

do racoons like flowers?

a dynasty heaven cant shake

here's to the ones that we got (cheers to the wish you were here but you're not)

holly origins series - can’t believe i almost forgot this one LOL

wips that i call “maybes but don’t count on it”

i took it as a taunt

how does the fox sneeze - the fox family series

plans for a h3rmit!t0mmy fic that i came up with but haven’t started yet

and my h3mitcr4ft series!!! i didn’t list it here because it’s a separate fandom altogether, but don’t worry. i will happily admit that baby is my favorite child and i will finish it to completion no matter the circumstances :] i’m stuck in hc hell for a long time coming, so you bet ur bottom dollar gaile is still going to be a menace to society as much as she can

this post also has a double role in the fact that my drafts have over 100 posts that i plan to queue at some point this week, so i just wanna give a heads up to what stuff you will be seeing in case you wanna blacklist it (these aren’t definitively fandoms i will join once i find my mojo again, but that doesn’t change the fact that im rbing a shit ton of content for them)

b4tfamily

rw/by

ff/xv

okay, i think that is everything? that is everything! thanks again so much for all the support you guys have given me. this place has made me smile and laugh when i thought i couldn’t, and i will always look back on this time in my life fondly despite all the ups and downs we’ve had. please take care of yourselves no matter what you decide to do going from here, and always know my inbox is open <3

[asklliofotia]

Hey all. I've been meaning to say this for months now.

I'm sorry this blog has been so inactive. I haven't posted here since what, May? I deeply apologize.

Please allow me to explain myself.

Back in those days I was struggling for motivation. For a long time on this blog all I wanted to do was draw Lio and answer asks. But towards the end of May, quarantine had begun sapping me of energy, and I lost motivation to do much of anything creative, much less do stuff for this blog.

I've also since picked up new interests, and, have been occupying myself with those a lot. But don't get me wrong. Promare is still my favorite movie and I still LOVE Lio and them. Promare will always have a special place in my heart. I've just gotten into some new things and have been hyperfixating.

My artstyle has also since changed a lot since last posting here, and I also started using a new drawing software. If and when I start posting asks here again, they'll probably look very different from how they used to be, and...I apologize for that.

But the biggest of them all is, my mental health. Most of you probably don't know that I've been battling depression for years now. I've had ups and downs with it, but lately, I've been in a pretty bad funk. I've come close to doing things I'd regret, and I've been fairly sad a lot lately. I've been trying to get myself to draw every day to help, but sometimes it's overbearing. But I am trying.

Again, I'm horribly sorry how inactive I've become. I'm not here to announce, however, that this blog is dead. As long as I love Lio, this blog shalt not die.

I've just been distracted with many things lately and haven't really had my chances to answer asks, and I've been wanting to draw a lot of other things and haven't been focusing on Promare like I was when I founded this blog.

But I promise, eventually, I will come back. My inbox contents will be answered, and you guys will get to see our little burning fashionista again.

Please forgive me for this blog's hiatus. And please forgive me for the hiatus that will probably follow this message.

I don't even know if you guys have missed this blog. But I wish to give you all the benefit of the doubt. And even if you forgot about me in the...eight or so months this blog has been MIA, know that all of your support has meant so much to me, and I promise you guys will have your questions answered by Lio in the near future.

Thank you all.

And if any of you are interested in seeing me in a place where I'm more active, my art blog is @strink-family. I haven't posted Promare there in awhile, but...perhaps you still may find something you like?

Please forgive my self-promo. And I really do hope you understand my situation.

And I mean it. One day, I will return.

Through spark and flame, I will not let this blog be deactivated.

I promise.

[dreamerinsilico]

Thanks to The Good Place s4 having made its way to Netflix, and me having Feelings, I’m going to take a bit to publicly chew on them now. 

TL;DR: same as basically every take I’ve seen, it was a great finale that handled each of the characters in a way that made sense and also I cried through most of the last episode.  But also I have vaguely cranky philosophical ruminations about it that don’t make me appreciate the show any less, but definitely want to yap about it.

(Details under the cut, because spoilers and also this may get long.  Also apparently it’s going to involve some spoilers for The Old Guard.  And maybe a few minor NBC Hannibal references.)

So, first I want to reiterate: the way the show ended, given everything else the show had done, made sense and was emotionally satisfying to me.  I loved it.

In a bigger-picture sense, though... I’d really like to see more media that interfaces with the concept of immortality without concluding that death is the only way to give the human (or humanoid) existence meaning.  Where we end up in the finale of The Good Place makes sense, in that it’s already been established that there’s an afterlife that doesn’t really have any inherent meaning beyond individual souls’ experiences of it and their relationships with one another.  And it’s not hard to imagine that a lot of the small dramas and conflicts that provide variation to even very peaceful lives would be invalidated without any kind of pressure from those material needs.  Given the foundations of the show, Our Heroes’ decision about how to change The Good Place for the better is... the only reasonable conclusion.  

And, you know, I don’t blame the show for not being The piece of media I’m hoping for to just come out and say outright, “you know, actually fuck this whole death thing.  Not a fan.  Don’t need it.  Let’s get rid of it.”  That’s not what this show was ever even remotely trying to be about.  It’s about coping with the reality of the human experience in the 20th/21st century, which includes death.  (Even with my transhumanist leanings, as a bioengineer and also someone who ardently pays attention to other fields, I will not even hint at denying that this is going to be a mandatory part of our reality for quite a while yet.)

The conclusion the show draws that I very much do agree with (regardless of one’s stance on death) is that we require some form of tension to inject meaning.  When I picture myself in the Final Form of the Good Place, I think most of my energy and desire would be focused on (I guess like a combo of Chidi and Tahani) asking questions of people there, and making peace with relationships that had somehow been left hanging.  There’s a finite amount of each of those.  I’d run out eventually.  My scientific passion would have a hard time finding an outlet, because the laws of physics don’t apply and I can’t interface with living people who could still make use of my expertise and stubborn propensity to problem-solve.  I’d like to think my creative leanings would still matter, but I’m not positive to what degree they would in that environment.  (It’s worth a chuckle to me now that when they offhandedly noted that Shakespeare’s thousands of posthumous plays weren’t anywhere near as good as the ones he wrote on Earth, I was initially indignant.  But with further thought it makes sense that the longer one is removed from that tension I referenced previously, the harder it would be to make meaningful art.  Or to even have that art be appreciated by the audience, since, on the audience side, successful art plucks against the tension of the strings the audience itself carries.  And when your audience is restricted to people in paradise who have already at-least-mostly self-actualized....)

Something about the finale that I’m still chewing over how I feel about was the very last scene.  The implication of some form of reincarnation.  (If that wasn’t supposed to be the takeaway from that... well, please tell me, but I *think* I remember some kind of rewards card reference with Eleanor and Michael from an earlier season?)  The incurable romantic part of me appreciates the concept of reincarnation on principle, so that’s one thing.  It’s also entirely in keeping with Chidi’s metaphor about a wave returning to the ocean - that wave is gone; it’ll never be there again, but the stuff of it is still there and ready to take form again.  But the part of me that very much sympathizes with Simone and, while not being a neurologist, is very concerned with Theory of Mind... reincarnation doesn’t do much for that part.  If I die, and my metaphysical essence eventually shows up in a different human who has no connection via memory to their past lives... well, that’s very aesthetically pleasing, I guess, but the point to me is, the information was still lost.  When I died, my subjective experiences, memories, and capacity to act upon the world as Dae the Irascible Multi-Academic was lost, because my reincarnation doesn’t have access to that (much as I did not have access to my previous selves’s experiences).  

Anyway, speaking of incurable romantics, let’s talk about The Old Guard!  When I was previously starting to complain about no media that interacts with immortality as a concept avoiding the canard of “death gives life meaning,” I stopped myself.  Because you know what, The Old Guard didn’t fucking go there, and I’m proud of everyone who worked on it for that.  Booker thinks death is the answer because he has lost hope.  But the person he appeals to, the person he thinks he’s doing a favor, is Andy.  Who has lived millennia more than he has, lost the implied-love-of-her-life, and still has the will to keep going.  Her questioning of that is intrinsic to the storyline, but at NO POINT does she ever indicate she wants to die.  And Nile’s appearance reinvigorates her, even as she knows she now actually has an expiration date.  (And the expiration date is not what invigorates her.  It is Nile and the attendant situation reminding her of why they do what they do.)  I ultimately really like The Old Guard’s take on immortality, because it gives us a spectrum of reactions to it.  Nile, generally freaked-out and not happy about any of this but trying to do best by the people she loves.  Booker, jaded and wanting to end it all.  Andy, pretty jaded but when push comes to shove wants to keep fucking trying, and doesn’t just step back and abdicate responsibility when it’s clear she isn’t going to be around much longer.  Joe and Nicky, not necessarily always happy with their circumstances, but taking strength from their relationships, not just with each other, but with the group as a whole.  (I have a whole essay brewing, which may or may not eventually see the light, about their romantic connection being important but kind of only a part of their overall attitude about the group and how that is intensely important.) 

And because apparently I’m just going to keep tacking on essay-stubs to this one post, when I thought about how to start this, I also thought about how Hannibal Lecter (in NBC Hannibal) says, “The thought that my life could end at any moment frees me to fully appreciate the beauty and art and horror of everything this world has to offer.”  And I’m just kind of marinating in that (hah) for the moment because it represents a hedonism that The Good Place, in aggregate, rejects.  But you can’t really compare those two stances, because of course, Hannibal Lecter is a human, subject to human standards of beauty and horror.  I shouldn’t go off on a big tangent about this here, because the point of NBC Hannibal is emphatically not about immortality or mortality, but I felt it worth mentioning because a) hyperfixation and b) it’s an interesting thread in the wider discussion I’m interested in, that I like placing in context.

Anyway if you’ve bothered to read all of this, thank you profusely.  I have a lot of feelings about The Good Place which mostly boil down to “I loved it,” but I can’t help but poke at the whole death thing.  That’s kind of a sore spot for me in media.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Okay hi can i just pls throw out this idea i have in my head because i have literally zero friends to talk about malec with and i love your blog fhksghs but anyway i have this headcanon that alec is autistic because like, he's kind of stiff in his movements and he's straight to the point matter of fact but he's so very very empathetic and he feels so much and maybe he's been masking his entire life because his way of being is "Wrong" (and on top of that he gay) and people beside his siblings (1)

don't really get him and honestly the fact that he doesn't always find the words to express himself especially when he's scared and upset makes sense and maybe with the masking thing the only way of stimming he's ever allowed himself is that jerky lil hand shake thing he does or the pinching of the skin between his fingers. also!! im thinking that's why he's so good at archery and not AS good at hand to hand combat because archery doesn't take as much coordination and he noticed it was easy for him so he kind of hyperfixated on it as a kid and it never really left and it makes sense with the self harm thing. it's so common for autistic kids to take out their frustrations and sadness on themselves and if alec doesn't allow himself to stim that jittery energy might just turn into frustration and anger he doesn't understand or know what to do with so causing pain to get it out becomes the only way he knows how to cope. anyway THE POINT i'm trying to make is i've kind of adopted the headcanon that magnus has adhd as well so he kind of complements alec where he struggles and the other way around and as they get to know each other they kind of start finding new ways of coping together and allowing themselves to be exactly as they are with each other. alec finds ways to stop masking and starts to come to terms with who he is and what he's like because he's never really identified with anything but his masked persona and magnus finally has someone who understands him

also i get that like... this headcanon is not new at all. i just haven't seen it being discussed a lot just like magnus having adhd is something i came across like two days ago so idk how big that headcanon is but yeah snglbghk sorry for taking up so much space i guess im a lil fixated hehe thank you for your time

okay, first of all i just want to say that i’m thrilled that you wanted to share this with me, specifically, especially since this is clearly meaningful and important to you. and don’t apologize, i love getting ranty asks tbh, they are the best dajsaijdadja 

for the hc! i totally agree with you on autistic alec, that’s not an uncommon hc because yeah he does have like... a lot of autistic traits lmao (altho there’s a lot of hm. gross ableist content involving this. but anyway) like i’ve been talking recently on here about alec’s honesty and his complete unwillingness and even unability to understand like, mind games and flirting and such and how that draws magnus in, and i definitely think that is directly connected to his autism. like the whole throwing hints and innuendos and flirting ;) ;) just doesn’t fucking make sense to him and he’s very in contact with his feelings and why would he not? be direct about them? you know? and magnus has had to basically teach himself to be able to do that (because well autism and adhd overlap and he’s probably had to struggle a lot to pick on social cues too, and learn these little tricks. this also probably has to do with the personality that he chose for himself, like, that whole over exaggerated over the top kind of careless thing, because then he can pass off his rambley tendencies and other ADHD traits as just... him being careless, i guess. so he lays it particularly thick so that the parts that are actually there - his tendencies to ramble and hyperfocus, lack of attention, sometimes unawareness of social cues - end up less visible under the veil of his exaggerated persona) and it’s so damn good. and important. to not have to. to be basically forced not to. because alec doesn’t engage in those. he’s completely honest. and he offers magnus a space where he can be, too

and i just duahdsiuahda love autistic/adhd solidarity malec (and also autistic/adhd solidarity mag&raph but that’s another topic. lêx shut the fuck up about raphael challenge. actually send me asks about autistic raphael pls yall). especially because like i said. magnus has had a lot of time to learn how to mask his ADHD traits! but it’s exhausting, and god it feels so good and he’s so fucking happy that he gets to stim, and ramble, and just be himself with alec

even if it definitely takes him a while. i think longer than it takes alec. because alec 1- is not as good as magnus at hiding it, and 2- sees no reason to hide them from magnus, because once he trusts, he trusts, and he’s all in. i think what would take alec the longest would be to stim - because he’s so used to suppressing those it’s almost second nature - but stimming is exactly the one thing that magnus still kind of allows himself. especially with magic, you see the way he’s always conjuring up little balls, doing sparks with his hands, rubbing his fingers together, etc etc etc. and alec picks up on that, the ways that he stims subtly and without hurting himself and maybe starts doing it too. we even get to see him rubbing his fingers in a similar way that magnus does sometimes, after they meet, and i think that might be the beginning of that process

so that definitely applies to what you said about them helping each other out with their greatest difficulties! like magnus is most uncomfortable letting go of hiding his traits, and alec is most uncomfortable with stimming, and they slowly- well, not coax each other into it, but walk that path together, especially as they also walk their career paths and earn more respect and space, and their relationship path and learn to be more open and earnest with each other and work together. you know? magnus sees that alec keeps picking at his own skin and hands, and he’s like... all lovingly healing him, and telling him that he should stop hurting himself, and alec tells him that it’s just. that he feels like the world is so sharp, sometimes, and he just has all that energy, and he doesn’t know how to let it out, and it’s too much, but he doesn’t know what to do with it, so he just. picks at his skin. and magnus looks up at him, brows a little furrowed, a little in shock and also. a good kind of surprise because he understands? and he’s happy that someone else understands? and that he can help with this?

and so magnus is like “i feel like that a lot, too. having magic helps, but well, there are other things i do” and then he tells alec about how he rubs his fingers together instead of picking at the skin and how he taps them and does the little wrist shaking thing and how that helps. and alec starts to figure out other ways to stim that work for him and don’t hurt him. magnus also tells him about jewelry and how that helps, having stuff to fidget with/focus on, and well alec is not big on jewelry but maybe he starts wearing a chain under his shirt, and there’s always the wedding band :) which we already see him fiddling with a lot in canon anyway so i definitely think it serves the same purpose for him as magnus’ jewelry do magnus. plus, it’s grounding and reminds him of them, which is also a bonus

and then there’s also everything we see in canon, about alec just. wanting magnus to be exactly himself and telling him that? seeing the way magnus is tapping his foot and then stops when he approaches, and he’s like “you can keep going,” or the way that he sometimes approaches magnus and is all like “i can tell you’re thinking too hard about this conversation. i don’t want you to say anything but what you feel. it’s okay” and magnus slowly relaxes and allows himself. or when he catches himself mid rant about his hyperfixation and he feels ashamed but he turns to alec, about to apologize because he just started talking way too much and way too fast about fucking wormholes and astrophysics again and alec is probably bored- but he turns and alec is staring at him with his usual, open adoration that always takes his breath away, and alec is like “no, i love hearing you talk” because even if he doesn’t understand what magnus is talking about, he loves how excited he is and to see him happy. plus his voice is so nice and pretty and just hmmm very good for the senses you know, like it’s just nice to focus on. so magnus does that little half smile of his, super pleased, and keeps talking, except this time gesticulating even more wildly and like flapping and going into detail without holding back, and he’s just so happy, and alec is so happy, and so in love with him duaudsaa

also them being sensorial heaven for each other :) alec wanting to hold magnus after he’s had A Day, and he just wraps himself around him and buries his face on his neck and feels his presence there, you know, focuses on him and his touch and hair and nice clothes (magnus picks clothes pretty much based on texture because he can’t stand some, and others, like silk, are just perfect so he has a bunch of those, and alec likes the same textures too so that’s great) and stops focusing on other noises and light and other things that might be giving him a bit of overload, you know? but also he doesn’t feel like, trapped, so it’s great. while magnus is enveloped in his arms and having all that stimuli from alec touching him and again he can laser focus on that and feel like his brain calms down a little. and it’s perfect for them both. sensory healing cuddles. perfect

and when either of them feels like having their space or not touching because Too Much, that’s okay too, because they both 1- understand, and 2- are mindful of each other’s space always. magnus especially, we see how he’s very careful with getting into other ppl’s and particularly alec’s space, and alec appreciates it because he never feels invaded. but he also learns when magnus needs space, be it alone or just a broad space to Flap Around in, and he always gives him that when he needs it, and magnus is so grateful for that. and it’s just duaihdsiahdasidaihahdah god i fucking love adhd/autistic solidarity malec thank u for coming to my ted talk

[olympiansally]

For a long, long time, I’ve felt that I will never be okay. I still think that this is the best it will ever be, and I’m trying so hard to convince myself that being numb is better than feeling everything.

We don’t know each other, but your energy, in fact, the energy of most people in this fandom is so contagious that it distracts me sometimes from all the emptiness and all the pain and despair.

And I thank you deeply for that.

***Trigger warning for: mental health struggles and discussions of depression!! I tagged it but i’m also saying it here just to be safe! ***

Hello anon! ☺️

First of all, thank you so much for the message! I’m extremely glad to know that myself and this fandom have been able to bring you some comfort and distraction!! It means a lot to know that i’ve been able to help you in any small way and please feel free to talk to me through asks or private messages any time!!!

I’m very sorry that you are going through that and having so many difficult feelings! I usually don’t talk in depth about my own mental health difficulties here, but i’ve had an ongoing struggle with depression for most of my life. Currently i’m in a good place with it and am doing very well with my current medication, but i had a very dark time last year when things got incredibly hard.

I might be projecting in assuming your feelings relate to depression, but i always prefer to treat mental health discussions too seriously than risk treating them not seriously enough. I can’t bear the thought of not helping someone i could have helped so i’ll do my best to help you here (which might be more than you asked for oops so i’m very sorry if i’m intruding)

I definitely understand where those feelings can come from and i am sending you very strong wishes that it gets better for you soon!! Please try not to lose hope that things will get better! I know how difficult that can be to believe sometimes but holding on to that can be a way to keep yourself from giving up which is one of the most dangerous things for us to do when we feel like that!! For me personally, even the make believe version of a better life was something i could mentally escape to when reality got too hard and the wish to make it my reality was what eventually got me to try again once i was mentally able to

I wish i could give you some actual advice, but i don’t know your personal situation and i don’t want to be condescending or accidentally suggest something that might be impossible for you or too far from your reality because i know that can do more harm than good! So instead of actual advice, i will be giving you some general advice that i think can be applied without too much context of particular case to case situations!!

1. Reach out for help, companionship and comfort! I know this can be impossible for some ppl to get in their real lives, but what you just did by sending me this ask is a very valid version of doing this online!! I myself am incredibly glad to know you felt comfortable talking to me and i want you to know that you can keep sending me asks or come talk to me on private messages if you want! In fact, the only reason i’m not sending you a private message right now is the fact that since this came anonymously so i don’t know who you are so that i can message you! But really, i’m always open to talk to anyone who wants to and this is specially directed to ppl with these sort of feeling who want to talk to someone who has been there too!!

2. Cling to the things that bring you any form of happiness! And i mean this even in the smallest of ways. If all you can do in terms of enjoyment is think about a character you like, then do that!! Every small inch of happiness you can get is valid and important and that goes from actually performing some type of fun activity to just thinking about something that brings you comfort. Any and all little sparks of happiness are important and can help your brain to get back in a place where it wants enjoyment and is capable of actively doing things to allow you happiness! ***Trigger warning for thoughts of suicide, pls skip ahead to the next number/paragraph if this might be triggering for you*** This may sound silly, i know, but it worked for me. In a very bad time in my teenage depression (back when i was 15 and absolutely hopeless) i convinced myself to just live long enough til the release of the last book in my favorite series, because that was the last thing i wanted out of life and the only thing i looked forward too. And that extra time i bought myself meant everything because i managed to get better and get help in the meantime and by the time that “deadline” came up i remember crying thinking of how much better i had gotten and how thankful i was that i managed to trick my brain to give me long enough to do it! That might have been easier to do for me than it would be for most ppl because of my other mental health issues so it came down to a mental battle between my hyperfixation and my depression and thankfully the hyperfixation won than one!! But i still recommend trying it even if that’s not your case!

3. Get specialized help! I know not everyone can get it but i NEED to point out that this is the most important thing here!!! I am no mental health expert and everything i’m saying here has to do with my personal experience and absolutely nothing can replace the advice of an actual trained expert! It would be extremely irresponsible of me not to say that!! I know not everyone can afford therapy or has the real life conditions to even go to therapy, so I researched some free and online options and while i only searched them now and recommend doing a deeper search if you want to use them, i will be linking here the best options i found!! Even if you are just having those feelings but don’t think you are actually depressed, i still recommend trying therapy! I am a firm believer that everyone should go to therapy regardless of having mental health difficulties or not, just like everyone should go to the doctor to make sure they are healthy and stay that way! Like i said, i researched these options now and i’m not familiar with them so i recommend looking them up further but i know even the effort of looking things up can be too much sometimes which is why i decided to do it for you! Anyway here are the best options i found:

- https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world - this site has gathered hotlines from around the world that can help! I am not particularly comfortable talking on the phone so if you feel that way too, the next options are all online! But if you would be comfortable on the phone, this site seems to have pretty much every country i could think of and they are organized alphabetically!!

- https://www.7cups.com/ - i think this is a good option if you don’t feel ready for therapy! It provides a 24/7 online and free chat with peers that have gone through the same struggles and trained listeners! The site also has payed therapy session options, but the next two links have free and online therapy options as well!!

- https://therapyaid.org/ - this site has payed sessions but it works with a basis of volunteers and it seems like they also have free therapy options!!

- https://www.doctorondemand.com/?correlationId=4080af72-413b-4e83-a34c-f413215781f4 - this site/app connects you with doctors, including mental health experts and from what i gathered it can be a good option if you need to get medication prescriptions like maybe antidepressants! Of course, that would depend on the doctor’s evaluation but the appointments seem to be free as well!!

I’m sorry if this has nothing to do with your situation anon or if i read way too much into your words, but i recognize reflected in your feelings a lot of what i myself tend to feel when i’m relapsing into my own depression!! I apologize if this was unrelated to your case, but i felt like i couldn’t ignore this chance to help ppl like me and even if it isn’t your case, this might help others, so i did my best with the information i got!! A lot of times ppl don’t get the help they need because others underestimate their struggles and i couldn’t risk making that mistake here!

Either way, i’m incredibly glad that me and the fandom have been helping you and cheering you up in any way!! And i am always open to talk either through asks or private messages!!

Thank you so much for reaching out and giving me a chance to help others just as i’ve been helped when i needed it!! I’m wishing you all the best ☺️

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hi essbie!! you seem super awesome❤️❤️ if you would like to talk to me about the west wing i would love that! i’m watching for the first time now and i’m in LOVE with it- tell me all your thoughts! otps, favorite episodes, arcs, characters... anything!

oh my god, this is my FAVORITE ASK THAT I HAVE EVER RECEIVED EVER. i’m so happy to talk about the west wing because the fandom that’s still alive today seems to be TINY (although high-spirited!!). thank you for asking!! i will endeavor to talk a lot.... which isn’t hard for me, lol.

(psst, before we begin, can i recommend you check out @donnajosh, who posts gorgeous new gifsets of tww pretty regularly [and also has gifs tagged by episode so you can find the right post to reblog when you’re liveblogging, shh], @etraytin, who’s written some AMAZING multichaps that have gotten me through this very stressful week, and @cassiesinsanity, who’s just plain genuinely amazing?? okay. now that that’s out of the way.)

i tried to figure out from your blog where you are in the show, but i can’t find anything more detailed than “probably has finished in the shadow of two gunmen”, so i’m just gonna keep things anti-spoilers. there are some really, really cool plot developments in tww, and i don’t recommend you spoil yourself for things on purpose! but also like. i DEFINITELY spoil things for myself all the time. so what the hell, don’t listen to me lol.

(i tried to put this under a cut, but tumblr glitched. sorry, peeps who don’t care about the west wing. also, WATCH THE WEST WING.)

my ALL TIME, dearest headcanon is adhd josh. i just. i love my boy so much. i love my impulsive, ridiculously-sensitive-to-perceived-rejection, loud, hyperfixated boy so much. i don’t know everything about adhd, but from what i know josh is TEXTBOOK. or at least he’s a lot like me! and i’m reasonably sure i have adhd. so. i’m REALLY, REALLY into that headcanon and everything about it. (i actually wrote a fic in which i wrote him the way i see his adhd presenting, because i love him so much. hmm, i should write a fic about josh being adhd. what kind of stims would josh like??)

i love and adore josh/donna, like many many other people. i like zoey/charlie, just because i think they make each other happy and both of them deserve that. i... like cj/danny? sorta? i think they’re adorable, and they have some REALLY good moments (no spoilers but. oh my god. danny really out here chugging his respect women juice and i love him for it). but also i am EXTREMELY ATTACHED to cj/toby and more specifically cj/toby/andy.

HEAR ME OUT. cj has EXTREME wlw energy and cj and toby have A LOT of married energy but then toby and andy... love each other so much, it’s so clear, in literally everything they do, i don’t know if you’ve gotten to the end of s5 yet but i cry. so like?? obviously, because i am who i am, polyamory is the answer! basically the rundown is: andy and toby are a typical couple except that they fight a lot. cj is kinda in the middle. if gay marriage had been legal / socially acceptable in the 80s (because god knows this ot3 has been thinking about optics since they graduated college), cj and andy would’ve gotten married and toby would’ve come and gone depending on who he’d pissed off recently, and everything would’ve been perfect. instead, andy and toby got married and it didn’t work because they really just couldn’t function as a unit, especially since their getting married meant that cj isolated herself a bit more. definitely cj and toby have a couple of SCREAMING arguments about the whole relationship. idk.

but just like. imagine with me, if you will, cj and toby... not dating, while working in the white house, but being exes. friendly exes. friendly exes who are still in love with each other and know it. please imagine that and then think about “i love you desperately / i know” and “you wanna make out with me right now, don’t you? / well, when don’t i?” and “we had it good there for a while / yeah, we did” and then join me in the pit of sadness.

(sidenote i have a sense8 au for the west wing and the second story is just me being emotional about their cluster for 5k. i have another story vaguely planned that i’ll probably never write about the development of the ot3 and about their cluster and how it functions. but don’t read that story until you finish... the first half of s7? or thereabouts? actually probably you should finish the show before you read the sense8 au in general if you’re avoiding spoilers.)

(when i say “i’ll probably never write”, i mean “until the next time i get obsessed with the west wing”. which will probably be years from now. oh, well, we can all hope the muse actually does something efficient for once.)

so yeah. those are my ships. i know a lot of people shipped josh/sam, but i don’t really see it? sam always seemed Way Too Straight for that to work lol, although i DO like the idea of sam pining tragically for josh for years just like donna does. (can you tell i read such a winter’s day a few days ago? it’s amazing. i haven’t left a review yet because i have not been a human being recently, but go read it!! it’s awesome!!)

also, i love the idea of bartlet/abbey/leo, although i can’t really visualize it lol. but there’s some amazing fic for them out there. maybe one day my stupid brain will realize the angst potential and actually let me write something for them, hopefully within the sense8 au. (sam also has a cluster! and i would love to write about them! .....but my brain doesn’t do what i tell it to. ever.)

my favorite arc.... i don’t know. i really loved the early seasons, which were a little more episodic, but ALSO i actually really liked the tone after aaron sorkin left after s4? it takes some getting used to, but it’s WAY more emotional, and i am ALL HERE FOR THAT. i definitely have a least favoite arc, or at least a least-favorite way-that-they-handled-a-storyline (spoiler alert: i hated how they handled the end of bartlet’s presidency in the white house. like. SHE’S ALL ALONE IN THERE- anyways. trying not to give detailed spoilers!)

favorite episodes: hmm. i love the thanksgiving episodes. i loved any episode with the ainsley-and-sam dynamic. noel is a phenomenal episode. 26 could make anyone weep. the flashbacks are the best. the fucking- the fucking what’s next motif.

honestly, probably i’d have to say my favorite episode is either 4x20 (evidence of things not seen, for “stupidly noble cluster” reasons and cj/toby reasons and bartlet & charlie reasons. also i feel like there’s some good josh/donna there too but i can’t remember exactly?) or 7x21 (institutional memory, because i’m pretty sure the writers reached into my id and pulled out EXACTLY what i needed from them to be okay with the show ending. jesus CHRIST i have never felt so satisfied after an episode. literally everything i ever could have wanted happened in that episode. i’m STILL reeling. it’s a perfect episode.)

my favorite characters are... literally everyone? i know that’s cheating but i love them all SO MUCH (except mandy and amy, of course). josh is my favorite, always and forever, but i love cj more than words and sometimes i can’t breathe for love of toby. leo and bartlet and charlie and sam and donna- here i was thinking i was gonna resent will forever but i LOVE will. ainsley is an amazing woman. abbey is such a good character, god, talk about a flawed woman who’s allowed to be a good person.

AND THEN THEY MADE ME ROOT FOR A REPUBLICAN. again, i doubt you’ve gotten to s7, but the republican nominee in the last election... jesus christ. i love that man so much. arguably, i’m very biased, but also how D A R E they expect me to root against him. how DARE.

(i swear this will make more sense once you meet him. i just love the actor a lot, okay?)

anyways. this got ridiculously long. i would LOVE to talk about the west wing with you, feel free to reblog this with your own thoughts or tag me in your own post or message me or something. i would love to hear your reactions!! it’s such a good show, and such a smart show, and every character is so mcfreaking good at what they do and i adore it. enjoy the ride because there’s nothing as perfect and as quality as the west wing. if you’ll please excuse me, i’m going to go cry about 7x21 again.