#just gives my muses my diagnoses

[kissofthemuses]

A small headcanon, but:

Emily has ADHD. She wasn't diagnosed until later in life because her parents kind of refused to acknowledge what was right in front of them. And Emily was very good at coping and masking.

[noahsresources]

PROMPTS FOR TEASING A FRIEND WITH A CRUSH / NEW RELATIONSHIP !

sometimes our muses just need to pick on their friends when they have a very obvious crush on a third party or are getting into a relationship with someone new. feel free to change pronouns & descriptor words and play with the context, and specify which third party is being discussed if it's helpful! some suggestive dialogue is present, mainly towards the bottom of the list!

❝ ... holy shit, you like him/her/them. ❞ ❝ someone's blushing! ❞ ❝ seriously, you're the sappiest person i know. ❞ ❝ [name] and [name] sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! ❞ ❝ you are so head over heels in love, it is disgustingly adorable. ❞ ❝ i don't know what it is, but i have a feeling he/she/they like(s) you back. ❞ ❝ oh come on, don't you try to deny it. you like him/her/them. your face says so. ❞ ❝ uh-oh, somebody's in love! ❞ ❝ i never knew you were the type to get flustered so easily. ❞ ❝ oh, sorry, i forgot what i was even talking about, i was so fixated on watching you stare at him/her/them. ❞ ❝ you're totally gonna write him/her/them some cheesy poem or song, aren't you? ❞ ❝ i diagnose you with a serious case of smitten. ❞ ❝ i don't blame you. he/she/they is/are really hot. ❞ ❝ i can sense something really powerful about to happen between you two. ❞ ❝ did you see that?! he/she/they just stared at you! ❞ ❝ look at you, embracing your feelings for him/her/them! i'm proud of you! ❞ ❝ are you sure you're just looking at him/her/them because you like his/her/their shirt? ❞ ❝ when did you even know you liked him/her/them? ❞ ❝ you were holding hands with him/her/them! i saw it!! ❞ ❝ he/she/they was/were actually talking about you the other day, you know. ❞ ❝ oh my god, here he/she/they come(s)! just act natural. ❞ ❝ ... yep, he/she/they is/are definitely attracted to you. ❞ ❝ you can't keep your hands off him/her/them, can you? ❞ ❝ him/her/them giving you his/her/their number is a rite of passage into romance! ❞ ❝ maybe i'll believe you if you stop looking at him/her/them with those massive heart eyes the same way you did all those months/years ago. ❞ ❝ your expression is that of a man/woman/person in love, my friend. ❞ ❝ i have a picture of [name] biting his/her/their lip, wanna see? ❞ ❝ you're totally staring at his/her/their ass right now. ❞ ❝ holy shit, he/she/they sexted you? you have to sext him/her/them back! it's just proper etiquette! ❞ ❝ you're hard/wet thinking about him/her/them, aren't you? ❞ ❝ how did you accidentally send him/her/them a nude? ❞ ❝ i think he/she/they was/were just looking at your ass/crotch/boobs. ❞

[darkjazzpunk]

Overworking (BaizhuxReader)

Prompt: 'Muse lands in your lap'

----------------------------------------------

It was a rough day for Bubu Pharmacy. The cold-season had started with three days of harsh weather changes. So there were even more patients in the Pharmacy than expected.

Gui did his best, taking care of every order and handling the smaller cases of barometric headaches and people who were known for 'overreacting'. Qiqi gathered herbs as fast as her little body could and was paid every time with a fresh bottle of coconut milk when you met her and took the ingredients from her before rushing back to the imposing building.

Baizhu did his best to diagnose everyone as fast as he could while also being thoroughly, asking patients to come back later if there's no improvement and bribing children way more generously with candy to get them to take their medicine without throwing a fit.

You worked yourself up the many stairs and stopped abruptly when you saw that there was no waiting line. Did something happen, or was this just the golden moment for a break before the next wave of customers boarded the Pharmacy? With fast steps, you walked inside and looked around before Baizhu noticed you with a gentle but forced smile:" Y/n! There you are. Just lay the herbs down over there and take a seat. I have a bad feeling that this wasn't all, but we should take a break together as long as we can." His hands still busy writing prescriptions while also sorting the herbs you just delivered.

"As long as you take a break too. I know you…" you said as you set down on one of the stools behind the counter, breathing heavily. The green haired Pharmacist waved his hand in a soothing motion at you and darts into the storeroom, out again into the entrance room checking some drawers before he walked back into his office. You just shook your head at him. Everyone in the Pharmacy knew about his weak constitution, and yet he seemed the only one acting absolutely oblivious to it. Especially now, with Changsheng being busy shedding her skin. Otherwise, she would give him a piece of her mind and be it in front of patients!

Gui came back with a tea-set in his hands and eyed carefully into the direction of the office, then at you. He put the tray down and armed himself for scolding his Boss, but before he could head into his direction the Doctor came out of his office already, paler than usual and walked past you before muttering:" I…I'm…alright…, just a sec…" before falling backwards.

"Xiangsheng!"

"Baizh...!"

You could just pull his body to you, so he landed in your lap instead of the hard floor. His head landed in the crook of your neck and you felt his slow breath.

Gui was about to help you to take his weight off you, but you shushed him kindly. Baizhu was alarmingly light, you thought, before putting your arm over his thighs to secure him further. Him fainting wasn't something too uncommon to the four of you, so you knew there was no need to panic as long as his breathing was normal, and he didn't hit something hard on his way down. You took a deep breath and checked his pulse. Everything 'normal'.

A few minutes past in silence. His assistant watched you shyly: "Say when he gets too heavy for you, I go get his medicine." And with that he walked into his Chef's office. As he was gone, the other man moved in your lap, lifted his head a bit before letting it fall back down. He had already woken up a few seconds after he had fainted.

"How embarassing..."

"That's the punishment for you not taking a break when needed, Doctor. It seems what they say is true: Doctors are the worst patients imaginable."

You pushed him closer to you. You didn't want him to see how red your cheeks were from him breathing into your neck constantly. And you didn't want him to run around again without taking a break! And maybe, just maybe, you liked the feeling of holding him in your lap like this…

"Make sure to slow down next time or I'll make sure you land face first in my lap! Did you hear me?!" your voice was a silent yell.

"Loud and clear, little Lotus." was his answer while he pushed his mouth close enough to your neck that his lips were brushing your skin with every word, making you blush even deeper than before. You wanted to scold him for it, but a high-pitched snarling intervened you two:

"Tell me your two are jussst making out!

Did he faint again?! Boneheaded fool!

Not one week you can handle yourssself alone!

How did you ssurvive this long without me?

And you two! I told you to put him in his place if he actsss up!

Where is this submisssive asssistant anyway?!

..."

[thebetterbrogane]

I’m alive! I promise!

So, a lot happened since Thursday.

Like…. a LOT.

Firstly, I’ve gotten Keith’s blessing to make this information public: he and Lance are officially together.

Secondly, Keith had been enrolled at the east coast Garrison base in New York for the past FOUR YEARS, electing to continue his education and finally, officially, graduate from high school. When he dropped out of the Texas base, it was unofficial, and thus rendered his four years prior void and null in the eyes of the military. Considering that all four paladins got honorary yet still functional diplomas after the war ended, none of them worried about re-enrolling except for Keith. So, you could imagine my surprise when he showed up at the Texas base’s commencement ceremony in full graduation regalia. It was a shock and surprise to everyone, but he made valedictorian and never missed a “day” of school, in terms of online and in-person class hours. I’ve never been more proud of my little brother.

Thirdly, speaking of my little brother… we came to a, quite frankly, surprising discovery this weekend. Keith got diagnosed with a muscle disease like I was. Before you freak out, it’s non-fatal, and he’s adjusting to disabled life perfectly fine. This diagnosis, being the same as mine, was strange. He called me during one of his appointments to corroborate the information he had been giving to his doctor, and the doctor, upon seeing me over FaceTime, mused about how similar we looked for being adopted brothers, before going on to joke about how “maybe [muscle disease] runs in the family!” Keith’s spidey-senses had been triggered, and a week later (day after graduation), we sent in DNA samples.

Keith is my half-brother. My father is Texas (Teiji) Kogane.

So many questions were answered. My mother had never known about Keith’s past, and since Dad left when I was only three, she never cared to think about him much after that. She flew in from Izumisanto on Saturday, and upon meeting Keith in the Dallas airport (for the first time in years, mind you), she burst into tears upon recognizing him. They’ve spent the past two and a half days just talking about Dad, which was mostly just Keith retelling stories from when he was younger. Mom regrets not giving Dad any thought over the past thirty years. I took her and Keith to his grave to reconcile.

Keith and I’s relation doesn’t change the connections we’ve made over the past fifteen years; it only strengthens them, and I’m so happy to finally know the truth. Mom flies back home tomorrow, but in the meantime, I’ll be spending as much quality time with my family as I possibly can. My heart is so happy.

— Shiro ☆

[bamdelune]

In Hindsight 🎼 bonus chapter: "well-planned funeral"

notes. this is supposed to be a crackfic drabble 🙏 don't worry guys no heavy angst yet

"You what?" Kunikuzushi nearly spits out his perfectly made Earl Grey tea when he hears your plans for the day. The noise of the cafe the both of you were staying at drowned out by your conversation.

"You heard me." You quip, as if the very thing you had just suggested a few moments ago was the most normal day-to-day activity for an emotionally-aware, living-breathing human being.

"You're fucking insane." He replies.

"What's insane about picking out coffins for my funeral?"

Kunikuzushi gives you a deadpan look, "Are you hearing yourself right now?"

You shrug, "I am."

"How lucky I am to be your boyfriend." Kuni goes back to his laptop. "Indeed you are!" You respond smartly, squishing the soft plush of his cheeks from across the table.

"Stop that."

"You love me too much to stop me, my love." You grin, doing one last squish before retracting your hand.

Kunikuzushi flushes a few shades pinker before speaking again, "What're you thinking?"

You lean back slightly in your chair, crossing your legs, "Traditional white. What would you think of using my casket as a message board, wouldn't that be cute?" You muse.

Kunikuzushi still isn't used to the idea of you actually dying so soon, he would still stiffen up at the idea of ever seeing your body in a coffin and you are quick to notice that.

"Listen. If you don't wanna talk about it, we don't have—"

He quickly countere, narrowing his eyes at you. "Y/N, baby. It's okay, it's what you want—"

"But you don't want to talk about it."

"I never said that."

It's your turn to send him a knowing look, raising an eyebrow at his nonchalance.

"Fine. I guess I'm a bit weirded out how you're choosing your own stuff for your own funeral." He concedes, huffing a sigh. "Don't you think that's morbid?"

"I'm not having cakey embalming makeup when I'm dead. If I'm going, I'm going the right way."

"You're so weird." He chuckles, a look of adoration glinting in his eyes. A contrast to his snarky remark towards your afterlife preferences. "Hey, that's why you love me, right?" You giggle.

"Whatever."

A few beats of silence pass the both of you by before he opens his mouth and closes again. Deciding against it, he opens his lips again. "I love you."

You smile softly, a quiet laugh leaving your lips. "I love you too."

synopsis. You are a singer-songwriter. Music has always been a part of you, it's a part of your identity that no one can ever take away. However, there's always a catch: you are diagnosed with a chronic illness that puts your life on a timer. Those who have heard your countless melodies have grown to notice that the notes on the sheet played a gloomier tune. Would the snarky and capable medical student you've met be able to bring life back into these melodies? Even as life begins to seep out of your own body? (scaramouche x gn!reader)

tags. gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, crack, heavy contexts of death and illnesses, friends to lovers, slowburn, profanities, drinking (characters are in college), suggestive themes but no nsfw.

taglist. (status: open) — @beriiov @alatusorrow @br0oke96 @ohmyfinggod @itzblazekun @featuredtofu @sketcheeee @lazy-sanns @sakurapeach @sheraffim @vxmp-loml @sukunasrealgf @sleepning @yukiipc @thenightsflower @aqvvas @scaramoo @coquettemaiden @dappledstars @pooonyo @certified-simp-4evr @alatus-viator @yuminako (comment/send an ask to be added or removed, please let me know if i forgot to add you since my notification feed can be flooded sometimes!)

masterpost ★ masterlist © bamdelune 2023. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!

[voxxisms]

sorry for the absence with little notice or discussion. life update under the cut, cw for medical talk / negativity (personal / non tumblr related).

tldr; having a lot of personal struggles which means i haven't had a lot motivation to be present, write properly, etc. i am much more easily found on discord, you can look for my drop, but activity is subject to energy levels sadly. monetary support can be offered here on ko-fi but is never required by any means. i do offer small commissions there, though my art is by no means top tier professional grade. i do writing ones, too, though.

i apologise profusely for not being super active. believe me, i want to be. i love writing in this space, i love the partners i've found to write with, i love my muses and my plots. i just ... don't have it in me right now. i hope you all understand <3 thank you for your endless patience.

i started having very severe panic attacks every day that have made it nearly impossible to go to work. the move i made here was very recent, and i started school and work nearly immediately, and i think the overwhelming nature of all it is finally hitting. i have a diagnosed panic disorder that triggers very awful agoraphobia, and it becomes a pretty vicious cycle. i am lucky to have gotten hold of decent medical coverage, and later this week will be seeing both a psychiatrist and a primary care doctor, i hope. i need to sort out a plan of action sooner rather than later.

i haven't been to work in almost two weeks, and they suspended me for next week to give me stress - free time to sort myself medically. luckily my managers have been very willing to work with me. it still sucks. six months ago i wasn't struggling like this, and i find it hard reconciling that i was working six hour shifts three or four times a week no problem, and now can't even bring myself to cross the front door.

it does lead to other issues. i'm definitely super depressed, and struggling to find motivation to do much at all. i'm exhausted all the time mentally, and sleep at least twelve hours out of the day.

i am okay. i don't have concerns for my own safety, but it is all very stressful. i can't afford to not be working right now, i do have some saving graces out there if it keeps being an issue, but it's far from ideal. if folks want to support me on ko-fi, i have the link, but it is not required by me, or even in general. everything helps, knowing i have something, but i will be okay if nobody does, to be very clear. i should be getting a lump sum sometime at the end of the month or next month that will help, too.

anyways yeah, that's basically it. i'll see if i have any motivation another day to hang here.

[garamdx]

: / / LOADING … OH GARAM / /

20021106, 05:58 AM

INCUBUS PHYSIOLOGY

SUPERNATURAL BEAUTY

DEMONIC HELEN OF TROY

: / / LOADING … AUTHOR'S NOTE / /

hello, everyone! my name is ryan (he/him, 28+) and i'm so excited to be here with all of you. 🤍 garam is a beloved muse of mine and while he's here to raise a little hell here and there, i hope that he'll smoothly fit in with all your muses. if you're interested in plotting, please 🖤 this post and i'll reach out to you as soon as possible. i have d//scord available by request, so lmk if that's easier! ngl, it's easier for me, so... there's that! 💜

: / / LOADING … BACKGROUND / /

born in bum-fuck nowhere south korea to a family of cultists.

he’s the disappointment, the “defect”, in his family.

his physiology is that of an incubus, much like the rest of his brothers, but his demonic abilities are basically non-existent.

garam’s beautiful to behold, always has been. that’s about it.

at 16, his lust aura made itself apparent. it… was awkward.

once he turned 20, he was banished from his home, and he arrived in seoul—specifically district x—to start a new life.

he seduced plenty of rich men to survive, but now lives on his own and works as an influencer; bewitching his followers.

he was recently diagnosed with impulsive bpd.

he’s currently being treated for it; takes it a day at a time.

above all, garam really just wants to be loved for who he is.

: / / LOADING … PERSONALITY / /

garam is someone who possesses immense passions. even outside of his mental health issues, his emotions are felt deeply; profoundly. sometimes they feel heavy, but other times, especially in blissful moments, they bring him such pure, unadulterated joy that making good memories comes easily. when he's fun, he's fun. he lilts unexpected, crazy things; he orbits around his loved ones; he learns everyone's secrets, their desires, and their aspirations, and if he's loyal to you, he'll make sure you receive every single once; he's like lightning. however, he's someone who doesn't make himself easy to know, and that's for a variety of reasons. above all, he just doesn't like when people are all up his ass about things that don't involve them. if he has something to tell you, then he'll tell you. if he wants to keep something to himself, he will. that said, what makes him hypocritical is, despite concealing parts of himself, he wants to know everything about you. literally everything. he doesn't give a fuck about what you ate for lunch, he wants to know who you'd die for. i'll warn you now, he's hyper-sexual. even if he's not pursuing someone, he loves talking about sex and debauchery. again, he loves the taboo and the things that people don't often open up about. that, and at his core, he's a fucking sex demon. he won't apologize, but i'll apologize in advance for his perversion. he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and he's been in therapy for it for a few months now. there's for sure been improvements, but it's still a daily struggle. he's vowed to try to be better, though. he doesn't want his past to affect him as badly as it does, so learning to cope/moving on is his top priority. there's one thing about him that'll be obvious upon first meeting. you will find him beautiful. unless you have abilities that make you immune, his beauty is obvious and striking. as he's homosexual, it tends to rouse much more intense responses by members of the same sex, but the opposite often find him appealing, as well. don't touch his horns without permission.

: / / LOADING … PLOTLINES / /

i prefer to brainstorm plots! 💜 talk to you soon!

[satansapostle6]

Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six: Pride And Ignorance

“I don’t get it. It’s not working!”

Draco scowled as he stood in front of the Vanishing Cabinet at Hogwarts. He and Lorelei had snuck into the Room of Requirement on the seventh floor first thing after dinner, hoping to begin mending the broken cabinet. But naturally, things did not initially go as the two had hoped. So far, they had already been working for at least several hours.

“Patience, darling,” Lorelei reminded him, “The repairs will take a while. Remember?”

“We don’t have ‘a while’,” Draco Malfoy spat as he tried to diagnose the problem.

“We have an entire school year. That should give us enough time to call it a night for now, don’t you think?” she attempted to reason with him.

Draco huffed dismissively. “I need to figure out which parts are defective.”

“Well, we’ve already found three,” Lorelei supplied patiently, “I think that puts us ahead of schedule, don’t you?”

She frowned as Draco refused to listen.

“No.”

“Draco,” Lorelei stopped him, turning him around.

He looked at her with genuine frustration in his eyes. She found that, if she hadn’t whipped him around where he stood, he wouldn’t have looked at her at all.

“We’ve been at this for hours. It’s late. We have school tomorrow; we’d best get some rest. We can come back here the minute classes are over; we still have plenty of time,” she said soothingly, his face in her hands. “Please. Let’s just go to bed.”

Lorelei kindly waited a while as her words began to sink in, and Draco’s expression finally softened.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” she assured him.

“I need this to work, Lorelei,” Draco looked at her with a scared, broken look in his eyes. “We need this to work.”

“I know,” she whispered, sympathetic as he dropped his head on her shoulder.

Lorelei frowned as she gently stroked his hair, allowing him a proper cry as he began to panic.

“If I can’t kill the old man, we’re done for,” he sobbed, “Don’t you understand? If I fail, our future, that we want, our family, is in jeopardy!”

“Nothing’s in jeopardy yet, my prince,” Lorelei Morrigan whispered faithfully. “So far, we’re doing great. You’re doing great. Soon enough, the Dark Lord will have faith in us, and we’ll be back in his good graces. Your father will come home, and everything will be just fine.”

“How can you be so sure?!” Draco asked as he stood up straight, unable to calm himself.

“Because, together, you and I can face anything,” she insisted. “We’ll destroy anything that stands in our way. With our two minds put together, nothing will stop us. You’re brilliant, Draco, and you know I am, too.”

He stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to make of his current predicament.

“I can’t thank you enough,” he sniffled, a sense of bitterness in his tone. “Everyone else around me’s failed me… Except for you.”

“You know I want nothing more than for the two of us to succeed.”

“This is no way for us to live… I want to live in the universe where we have a proper life,” Draco mused, “We could have a proper wedding, and a proper family. You’d be my wife, and we’d have the Manor, and children. We’d have it all.”

“Yes. We will,” Lorelei promised him, taking his hands in hers. “In this universe.”

Draco looked at her with uncertainty, hardly able to imagine that his deepest desires could someday be realized. “You really think so?”

She nodded. “Yes, Draco. I do.”

“I love you,” he said finally, tears in his eyes. “More than anything.”

“I love you,” she sighed, holding him in her arms.

“I have to keep you and Mother safe… You’re all I have,” he sniffled, face hidden in the crook of her neck.

“You’re all I have too,” Lorelei said, thinking of her parents hiding away most likely on some other continent.

As Lorelei and Draco snuck out of the Room of Requirement, the door becoming a normal wall once again, they noticed too late that they weren’t alone in the hall. Waiting there right outside the door was Professor Snape. Draco’s jaw clenched the moment he saw their Head of House.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Snape said coolly, “Miss Morrigan. What are we up to this evening?”

“None of your business,” Draco said stiffly, straightening his jacket.

“I think it’s entirely my business, Draco.”

“I think you’re a trifling old codger who can’t mind his own business,” Draco retaliated impulsively.

Lorelei’s eyes widened as she tried her best to save him from himself. Unfortunately, that never seemed to work with Malfoy men.

“Draco!” she hissed, mortified. “I’m sorry, Professor, he’s in a bad mood!” she glared at her boyfriend.

Lorelei half expected Professor Snape to light the both of them on fire where they stood, but he seemed uncomfortably even-tempered instead. Lorelei watched as Snape slowly stepped forward, his large black cloak flowing beneath him almost like a Dementor. There was no discernible emotion on the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor’s face as he towered over Draco.

“Given your current circumstances, Malfoy, I will allow you one instance of insubordination. You’ve just used it up,” he warned, cold beady eyes fixated on Draco.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Draco maintained.

Lorelei turned to look at him in disbelief. “You’re not?” she said through gritted teeth.

“No,” Draco said coolly, not taking his eyes off of Snape. “And I have no idea what ‘circumstances’ you’re referring to.”

“Sure you don’t,” Severus Snape disregarded his lies, “Now, Mr. Malfoy… You and I both know that this year at Hogwarts, you’re in over your head as far as extracurriculars are concerned. But, if you allow me to, I might be able to help lighten the load, provided you pay me the respect that I deserve.”

Lorelei immediately understood what Snape was offering, fully aware that Draco was, in fact, in over his head, and needed all the help he could get. But unfortunately, Draco was the only one who seemed unaware of this.

“Professor, believe me when I say, I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about, and even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t want any help from the likes of you,” he insisted on angering the former Potions Master any way he could. “After all… who would want to be in cahoots with the Dark Lord’s double agent?” he challenged.

“As usual, Malfoy, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Snape provided, “But because I seem to have to, I will prove to you once again that I am a friend to you, relatively speaking. I will not only allow you the kindness of ignoring every single one of your insolent attempts at being domineering, but I will also advise you not to fall victim to the many arrogant pitfalls that seem to plague the Malfoy men. Need I remind you, Draco, that pride is a sin we all must overcome?”

Lorelei watched as Draco drew his wand, seething as he backed Snape into the wall.

“Don’t you dare talk about my father,” Draco hissed, war ready.

“The very fact that you assume that that was my intention speaks volumes,” Snape retorted, almost sounding bored. “Now, stop playing these childish games and tell me what it is you’re doing so that I might shed some light on your current predicament, Malfoy.”

“Why should I trust you?” he demanded again.

“Are you stupid?” Snape snarled.

“Why should I trust the Dark Lord’s least faithful servant?” Draco spat.

“Might I remind you that, in civilized society, alignment with the Dark Lord isn’t necessarily favorable?”

“Excuses. You’re all nothing but excuses,” Draco snapped. “When I succeed, when… It’ll be on my own, because I paved my own way. None of you will have had any part in my success, and it’ll be that much more enjoyable to watch you all watching me from the sidelines. The honor will belong to no one but me, and Lorelei. Goodnight, Professor,” Draco concluded, as Lorelei silently followed him as he stormed off.

She silently glanced back at Professor Snape, who only stared at her as she went off with Draco to bed. They retired together to his singular dorm room as Slytherin Prefect, trying to sleep but not necessarily succeeding. Eventually, it seemed that that night, she and Draco definitely hadn’t been great at ensuring they had gone unseen. The next morning, Lorelei had a headache trying to justify Draco’s execution of the plan.

Throughout breakfast at the Slytherin table, neither of them could enjoy any semblance of peace. They both sat silent next to one another, lost in their own world of worries and bitternesses as they gingerly sipped juice and irritably picked at plates. Blaise had of course picked up on this foul disposition the moment he sat down to eat his breakfast, beginning to question his choice in seating as well as friends. But it wasn’t Blaise that Lorelei had to worry about that morning. It seemed that once again, an old foe elected to rear his ugly head.

“Malfoy. Lorelei.”

Draco and Lorelei stopped in the middle of the corridor on their way to their first class of the day, already in a sour mood before Theodore Nott even made an appearance. Lorelei silently prayed this wouldn’t end in fisticuffs.

“What do you want, Nott?” Draco questioned, already confrontational. “I’m not in the mood.”

Theo smiled as he approached the couple, determined to show Draco up with his nice uniform and silver rings.

“This won’t take long, then,” Theodore nodded. “Just thought I’d inform you two that I know what the Dark Lord has entrusted you with, Draco,” he said brazenly.

Lorelei looked around, paranoid, as Draco stepped up toward him, refusing to back down from nothing.

“Congratulations,” the blond scowled, “You hear that from your mum over fucking tea?”

Theodore chuckled softly. “Your wit, Draco, is unmatched. Truly. It’s no wonder Lorelei’s so taken with you.”

It was Lorelei’s turn to scowl as she stood by Draco’s side. She hated how easily angered Draco could be, but she refused to allow Theo to undermine their dynasty that they had sought out to establish.

“I’m unmatched, Nott,” Draco promised him, “Make one more crack about my girlfriend, and the next thing to crack’ll be your skull.”

“Ooh, not very friendly,” Theo teased. “Seems unfair you immediately go to threaten me, when all I have for you is a friendly warning.”

“Oh yeah?” Lorelei spoke up. “What could you possibly have to warn us about?”

The question seemed to only encourage him. Theo smiled as he looked into her cold blue eyes, before landing back on Draco.

“I’ll tell you one last time, Malfoy. Lorelei will be my wife. That’s not a threat, or a challenge, or whatever your poor excuse for a mind will fathom it to be,” Theodore continued, “It’s simply a fact.”

Lorelei glared at him with a spite that she knew was older than herself, or anything else, for that matter. It was an age old anger instilled in her by forces she knew she would never understand. Never again would she stand by Theodore Nott’s side. Never again would she stand in the shadow of a man less brilliant than she was.

“Lorelei, you may refuse to see it now, but I am the one who can give you want you want,” Theo insisted. “At my side, you could be a queen.”

“At your side, I’m nothing,” she assured him.

“You know that’s not true,” Theo said softly. “You know I can give you so much more than he can. You know, deep in your heart, that you’d much rather marry me,” he argued.

“I will never marry you,” Lorelei vowed with hatred. “And I don’t say so out of spite. I say so because I’ve grown. I will never again be stupid enough to think you truly love me, Theo. You don’t know how.”

“You might be right. Perhaps love isn’t my strong suit,” he offered. “But revenge is.”

Draco huffed quietly as he stood in front of him in the empty corridor, begging for a reason to use his wand.

“Your destruction is coming whether you see it or not, Draco,” Theodore ensured passionately, “But where you happen to be when it comes is entirely up to you, Lorelei.”

She listened to his words, silently pondering whether or not he was worth an Unforgivable Curses.

“I hope that you would have the foresight to see Draco for the lost cause he is,” Theo confessed, “But, honestly…”

There was an ugly gleam in his eyes as he looked right at Lorelei, practically gazing into her soul with the ugliest parts of hair

“I also hope that I’ll get the pleasure of destroying you both,” Theodore Nott mused with a sadistic grin on his face. “I will find out what you two are planning, and I will rain on that parade. The Dark Lord will know my name; and yours will fade away into nothing but whispers.”

Theo’s face was now only inches from Draco’s, and Draco could see every bit of madness in his enemy’s eyes. Of course, Theodore Nott was an obsessive, conniving individual, but Draco knew that he would sooner die than allow him to have the last laugh.

“Trust me, Nott. Those whispers will haunt you forever,” Draco murmured, eyes dark with malice. “You can plot against me all you want, but I’m still the one Lorelei chose.”

Theo laughed in his face. “There are more important things to me than some girl.”

Draco could hardly contain himself.

“I’ll kill you, Theodore. Don’t think I won’t.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Theo said lightly.

“He won’t have to if you come after us,” Lorelei finally spoke up, stepping up beside Draco. “If you get in our way, I will end you myself. Goodbye, Theo.”

Lorelei walked off, and Draco followed angrily. He glanced back at Theo, glaring before he placed his hand on Lorelei’s back, silently praising her undying loyalty.

-

Chaoter Twenty-Seven

[nspwriteups]

An Oath of Feelings - Part 3

A/N: because @celestesinsight suggested Vanathi not giving in easily and I fell in love with the idea 💡

Arulmozhi didn't expect things to turn out this way when he imagined how his oath taking would go. Not only did he managed to shock the formidable Ilaiya Piratti and Vana Clan Ilavarase but only caused Vanathi to lose consciousness with his decision which was now making him second guess his words. Is there any confusion or misunderstanding? How can he express his true feelings without any more false interpretation? He was thus sitting in his chamber, mind burdened with all such thoughts that he failed to see Vanthiyathevan enter.

" Ilavarase "

Arulmozhi was relieved to see him, " Vanthiyar, good thing you have come. How's she? "

"Kodumbalur Ilavarasi is doing fine now. The physician has diagnosed that she must have fainted due to exhaustion. She is sleeping now but I wouldn't advise you visiting her as your Akka is livid. Actually I wouldn't advise anyone to go near her now." Vanthiyathevan said, musing on how scary Kundavai can get when she is angry.

"But I have to talk to Vanathi. I strongly believe there is a misunderstanding between us." Arulmozhi replied, exhausted with the recent happenings.

"Ilavarase, where words fail, actions can create miracles " Vanthiyathevan said with a mischievous smile.

Arulmozhi looked at him with mild curiosity. "What do you mean?"

Vanthiyathevan sighed and asked " Let us imagine a situation where Ilavarasi Vanathi is not letting you visit her. What do you do?"

"I go back to my chamber and wait for another opportunity to see her" Arulmozhi believed he gave the best answer showing his gentleman behaviour but one look at Vanthiyathevan's disappointed face and he knew he gave the wrong answer.

"No no" Vanthiyathevan placed a hand on Arulmozhi's shoulder. " If the door is not opened for you, the window will surely give you access" He said with a smirk.

"Are you suggesting I break in through the window into her chamber?" Arulmozhi was appalled.

"Why not? I sometimes climb the window to your Akka's chamber when she shuts the door in my face. Usually it's because she gets mad that I flirted with some other noble lady but like I always tell her - I may appreciate another because I am a devotee of beauty but she will always be the queen of my heart" Vanthiyathevan shrugged, not noticing his new-found friend looking at him with a dumbfound expression.

"What?" Arulmozhi felt he himself is going to faint with all this new information.

It was then that Vanthiyathevan realised that perhaps he had shared a bit too much. " Ummm...forget what I said just now. What matters is that you should prove your feelings for the Kodumbalur Ilavarasi through your actions. That will surely make her realise your love"

Arulmozhi nooded. Just then a servant came to inform that Kodumbalur Ilavarasi has regained consciousness. Sharing a smile with Vanthiyathevan, he quickly started walking to Vanathi's chamber.

-------------------------------

"What are you doing here, Thambi?" Kundavai's hard voice made Arulmozhi shudder for a moment.

"Akka, I'm here to see Vanathi"

"No" pat came the answer without any hesitation.

"No?"

"Whatever was your intention behind your decision, I'll listen to you when I'm in a better mood. Until then I'll not let you sadden her more. " With that she closed the door, leaving him in the hallway.

Distraught. Disappointment. What will he do now? Suddenly Vanthiyathevan's words rang out in his mind.

Desparate times call for desparate measures he thought The window it is then

-----------------------------------

Arulmozhi casually strolled to the gardens in hopes of not attracting any unwanted attention. He reached the gardens and looked around. Vanathi's chamber was 3rd one from the right and there was a mango tree, strong enough to support his weight and tall enough to reach his destination, with branches conveniently leaning towards it. And luck must be on his side because the window to the chamber was also opened. Without further thought he tied his angavastram to his waist and started climbing the tree. There were a couple of times he thought he would slip down, the thought of having to explain why he was climbing a tree in the middle of the night was too much to ponder on. Oh! the things I have to do in the name of love, he thought as he got hold of the branch leaning into the chamber window and hoisted himself up. He used the branch as a support before being empowered by adrenaline to jump into the chamber, falling in with a thud. He was sure he made quite a noise and cursed himself for his recklessness. But taking in the surroundings, he was sure he had been in this chamber before - the arrangement of the furniture, the Veena placed on the side of the settee, the -

"Thambi?"

With a cruel twist of fate there stood his sister before him, complete shock etched on her face. He opened his mouth and closed it immediately as he didn't knew what to say. Kundavai looked at him, then at the window behind him, then back at him slowly an expression of frustration forming on her face.

"Please don't tell me you got in through the window"

Maybe the answer was clearly seen in his demeanor because she quickly started hissing " I am definitely sure Vanthiyathevan must be behind this. God knows what else he is teaching you" She reached for the door of the chamber, " Now get out! This is my chamber. Vanathi's is next door" then her expression changed to one of mockery and amusement"I think you miscalculated"

Arulmozhi wished the Earth would split up and swallow him whole. He couldn't imagine how he would survive the teasing that Kundavai and Vanthiyathevan would lay on him later. He was jolted from his embarrassment by Kundavai's voice again, the look of frustration back on her face. " If you try to pull any more of these stunts I'll be throwing both you and Vanthiyathevan out of the palace for the rest of the night"

He mumbled a "Yes Akka" and walked back to his chamber, wishing this was all a dream and that relieved no one else was present to witness his mishap.

----------------------------------

The next morning

Vanathi opened her eyes to the sound of chirping birds and stretched her arms. Maybe she slept a little longer than usual because she could see the sun had already risen and warm light spreading the room. A servant girl came in just then"Ilavarasi, Ponniyin Selvan is here to see you"

She smiled at the thought of her yaanai pagan coming to see her but almost immediately it was replaced by the taunts she have heard from various sources about her marrying him for the throne and his disregard of her oath.

"Tell him I'm still sleeping" she said turning to the side, hiding her tears from the servant, "and start packing. We leave as soon as I recover"

To be continued....

Thoughts? @ramcharanobsessed @dumdaradumdaradum @vibishalakshman @thatacademic @hollogramhallucination @kovaipaavai @rang-lo . @willkatfanfromasia @thelekhikawrites @thegleamingmoon @deafeningflowercat @yehsahihai @whippersnappersbookworm @itsfookingloosah @gemsmusings @chiyaanvikram @elvenladysakura . @matka-kulfi . @madatdisney @bumblebeeskywalker @vahnithedreamer @nkarti @dosai-maavu @utterlynotperfect @winter-birds @happy-bookworm @tumbledout @anabanana4115 @freeunknownwasteland @bhataktiatmacore @rapunzels-stuff @celestesinsight @mairablue @rationalelderberry

[cygninae]

I was just stalking through all of my old WIPs, and so here's a comprehensive list (that no one asked for) of all the ASOUE fanfictions I scrapped:

A character study on Quigley Quagmire, focusing on his upbringing, him being a 'problem child', him being diagnosed with ADHD and depression, etc.

A character study on Quigley experimenting with gender roles: a sort of 5 + 1 thing of them coming to terms with gender non-conformity

A Quiglet oneshot of Violet doing Quigley's makeup.

A character study/Quigley-centric fic that focused on his insomnia and how he'd already discovered the tunnel system under their house from his late-nights wandering the mansion

A dunklaus fic where Duncan was covering a story about Klaus, a reclusive artist who gifted his art rather than selling it. Duncan gets a little too involved.

A dunklaus AU fic where Duncan took a job as the Baudelaire's gardener

A dunklaus + Quiglet + Beamony AU set in WW2

A Viodora fic that was just a collection of Isadora's poetry written across the time she got to know Violet

A dunklaus au where they were both university professors

Dunklaus fake-dating AU where they pretend to date to get Violet off Klaus' back about getting over Fiona and finding love again

A Quiglet one-shot character study from Quigley's POV, him moving on from Violet

A Dunklaus AU taking inspiration from Anne of Green Gables (1800s setting, academic rivals, accidentally starting VFD)

A dumb modern Quiglet AU where they meet at a concert, Violet realises Sunny has run off, and her and Quigley have to find her. They bicker a lot because they disagree on which album is their favourite artist's best one

A Dunklaus post-canon fic where Klaus becomes a famous author under a nom de plume and Duncan stumbles across one of his books that is about him

Quiglet post-canon fic where the Baudelaires find Quigley after he failed to save his siblings

(Actually finished, just never posted it because it's rubbish) Dunklaus sorta reincarnation oneshot where Duncan works in a museum and Klaus is an immortal being who consistently is his muse in every lifetime. One of Duncan's favourite marble statues in the gallery was actually created by him, for Klaus, hundreds of years before but he doesn't remember until he sees Klaus again

Dunklaus oneshot where the whole group attended an actual boarding school. No olaf or anything. Just a wintery plot-less thing

(Also finished, also too shit to post) Modern Dunklaus one shot where Duncan runs a record store with his siblings and Klaus comes in one day. Literally just everyone teasing the two for 6k words straight. (favourite excerpt: '“So, why didn’t you ask him out?” Isadora asked, probably aiming for casual, except the way she was leaning on the wall like she was posing for an 80s boy band poster, and the way her voice was just a bit too high pitched, meant she wasn’t being very convincing.

Duncan gave her a flat look. “I have had two conversations with him,” he said, turning back to the receipt he was marking and ignoring the look she was giving him, which solidly said stop being purposefully obtuse.'

Post-canon Violet-centric Quiglet one shot. Just Violet reminiscing and moving on

Dunklaus AU where the Baudelaires are exchange students from France to Prufrock Prep. Extremely angsty and absolutely nothing happy happens. Just wanted to exercise the French Baudelaires headcanon

(Alot of this one was already written) Dunklaus AU where they're partnered up for a VFD mission

Quiglet magical AU where Quigley is a magical creature that lives in the woodland behind Monty's house where Violet and Klaus move after they're orphaned

Dunklaus and Quiglet (but not the main focus) - AU where the Baudelaires leave with Lemony after the fire at Hotel Denouement and become increasingly morally grey. When they reunite with the Quagmires a year later, they're practically unrecognisable from what fighting both against and with VFD has done to them

Violet and Klaus character study on how they deal with their grief; there was a little bit of Viodora and Duncan and some funny antics. The only WIP on this list entirely in French. Never posted it because there would be no interest and it didn't have a plot particularly

I'm pretty sure there are more that I just can't find or deleted but yeah...God there's a lot. These span over several years of being obsessed with asoue and ships in the fandom that I fell in love with that had (and still have) a painful lack of attention online, so I made my own content

[blinkbones]

The LIveship Traders - Ship of Magic -- Robin Hobb

I remember reading through most of this brick a few years back, but I didn't actually remember the story. I vaguely recalled that Hiémain (Wintrow in the original...? I think...?) made me uneasy bc I didn't understand him, that Althea's story made me feel tense, and that Malta was annoying. OK SO. I HAVE SO MANY NEW OPINIONS.

First of all I hated Kyle with fire in my guts for most of this book. Oh, he's so well written. I just got audibly and vehemently upset at his bullshit several times. I wished for his death many times just because his chapters made me so angry. Great character 10/10 I hope he dies.

Althea made me a lot less scared -- and I guess that's mostly because I'm an seasoned adult now, and in the meantime I discovered I was nonbinary and started living as myself as well... So her (admittedly very dangerous) stunt as a crossdresser and as someone going into a hard job is a lot less scary -- like, yknow, I've kinda lived some of that. And I survived it. So she can, too. I also saw through her naive arrogance this time. She's also a 10/10 character and I like her a lot.

Hiémain Wintrow ooooh Wintrow... I love him. His musings hit very close to home, perhaps especially because I became a recluse intellectual in the meantime lol... I think about what he thinks all the damn time. The tension between his feeling of absolute interconnectedness (like mycelium...) and the discomfort of actually being disconnected from real life. yknow. Touch grass. Touch a ship deck. How your principles strain against everyday strenuous work. How your biggobrain speaking habits can fall flat with regular people who didn't decide to spend months poring over X thought or Y text. And is it all worth it, and should you give up your principles? Or stick to them? Maybe reshape them? The transformation is painful. I loved Wintrow so much and I'm so excited to see what he does next. At the end of this book, he felt like the character with the strongest sense of self out of them all, and in that sense, I suspect he might be the toughest overall. All the others are struggling.

Definitely not least of all our favorite bipolar pirate LOL oh this man. I say bipolar bc that's what my healthcare friend diagnosed him as from my whatsapp rants. He's SO funny and I support him in his unhinged pursuit. I love how he's lucky MOSTLY because he doesn't say what he thinks and people fill in the blanks helpfully. Here's to keeping your mouth shut sometimes. 10/10 also.

Ok I loved every other character as well and the romances are so good actually like... finally some good heteros!! finally some good food!!! google is robin hobb bisexual or is she just that good ,

PS: ok I forgot to update my opinion on Malta: she's sooo annoying 10/10 great character. As a now adult I am so worried, pls child pls listen to your elders a little I beg

[tayfabe75]

It is clear that most of the songs were written before May 2023, but I am sure that after too. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived was obviously written after, so what's your take on it? This is the angriest she's ever been. Where does this lead us?

Anon, I'll preface this by admitting that I don't think any songs on TTPD are reflective of the past year (though, they have been cleverly disguised to appear as though they're about current events) - I personally believe they are songs about things from Taylor and Matty's past that she dared not share until now for a couple reasons: 1) They wanted to keep their relationship secret 2) She wouldn't dare "out" Matty for his drug use (it was not yet hers to share)

Meaning, I don't believe Taylor would make such direct references to drug use without Matty's blessing.

Now, I get that almost the entire internet would disagree with me on this, I'm well aware that fans are out there right now giving their "diagnoses" about how "unhinged" and "manic" Taylor is on this album…

I vehemently disagree.

I've been studying the woman the past year and I'm continually impressed by her character. Sure, she's aware she's on camera and knows how to turn on the charm. But too much consistent wisdom comes out of her mouth in a way that never falters and isn't easily fabricated or replicated. Also, I don't think that a lot of the public perception of her matches up with how she actually comports herself. For instance, I often hear that she's a "petty queen" for writing about her exes, yet she rarely ever confirms any of them as muses, herself - yet somehow, the fans run wild with speculation and parrot it back like it's written in stone when the actual foundation of some of these myths consists of one or two paparazzi photos. It has been one of the most fascinating aspects of studying this "story".

Of course, I do my fair share of speculating, too… however, I mostly do this based on their discographies or statements made in interviews, things they've actually said or written, etc, rather than fan lore.

Let me just lastly say that the collective take from the "tayfabe" crowd is that TSMWEL is about Kanye, Scott Borchetta, or Scooter.

But… as the resident clown of the group, the one thing I can offer you is maybe a different perspective, which is what you must want if you came here at all, right??

TSMWEL, in my opinion, has romantic undertones ("our bed", "it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden", "you'll slide into inboxes") that I doubt she would use for someone like Scott Borchetta. Aside from references to substance use, there's being "gone by the morning", themes we see in songs like 'Cardigan' and 'Question…?' and even in the music video for 'Me' by The 1975, and a reference to a car crash, something else that pops up thematically on The 1975's debut album - most of which seemed to also be reflective of an earlier time (and, lines like "slide into inboxes" and "hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins" seem only to bolster my suspicion that this song likely predates even 2014...)

"Where does this lead us?"

I guess that depends on your perception! Do you believe a person is able to repair or maintain a meaningful relationship with someone who once wronged them? Can someone write a heartfelt song about a betrayal that they've forgiven and moved past? Or must it always be perceived as "petty"? Can a song like this be purely reflective, or must it be fresh, scathing, or indicative of current feelings? We can safely extrapolate Matty didn't leave Taylor because he didn't care - he seems to have genuinely thought she was better off without him. If someone did that to you, would you maybe understand how anxiety lies to people and... ultimately forgive them? (As someone with a similar "cyclonic" anxiety... I'm genuinely curious!)

I personally believe that TTPD, like all of Taylor's albums, tells a story. Taylor does not sugar-coat things, and neither does Matty. And they're so beloved because they are willing to share their most vulnerable thoughts and feelings, right? If, indeed, TSMWEL is about our boy, well, I'm sure Matty also understands that "the good and bad end up in the song".

Now, read this quote again, but without all that pesky catastrophizing everyone seems to love doing:

"This period of the author's life is now over."

If, truly, this is a reflective album about the past (say, 2014), then maybe it means she wanted to document this period as part of her self-mythologizing confessional songwriting repertoire, but no longer dwells in the pain of it. It's probably just me, but as a fellow woman in her thirties, I just don't buy Taylor processing trauma this way! So publicly, I mean. She learned her lesson in 2016. And this album seems to be more about teaching lessons, herself, now…

But truly, your guess is as good as mine, anon. Thanks for the ask!

[rustingspark]

(brec bassinger) the nurturer. please welcome madelyn "maddie" donahue (she&her) to huntsville, wv. they are an 25-year-old resident who lives in town. you may see them around working as a mortuary cosmetologist. poor unfortunate soul. we’ll see if they survive... (b, 24, she&her, cst)

hey guys! i'm B and i'm so excited to interact with all of you. maddie's my baby and i can't wait to explore her as a muse. if you ever want to plot, have questions, etc. feel free to im me anytime.

basics.

- full name: madelyn grace donahue

- alias: maddie, mads ( she&her )

- age: 25 years old, october 10th

- zodiac: libra, october 10th

- sexuality: bisexual

- occupation: mortuary cosmetologist, works at huntsville funeral parlor

personality.

just to give you an idea of what maddie is like, i took inspiration from characters like vada sultenpuss, jamie sullivan, rory gilmore, marissa cooper, and donna pinciotti. she's your girl next door. kind-hearted, pleasant, unassuming, familiar, and uncontroversial. she's a natural beauty who is also down-to-earth, supportive, and approachable. people are surprised to see her in such good spirits. especially after losing both parents at such a young age. she's been dealt a bad hand, but doesn't let it get the best of her.

+ sagacious, trusting, gentle, optimistic, creative

- paranoid, melodramatic, scatterbrained, reticent, verbose

possible connection ideas: best friends/ride or die, friends who grew apart, co-workers, bad influence ( because she's the good influence lbr ), opposites attract ( can be completely platonic! i just think the black cat golden retriever trope is *chefs kiss* ), possibly an aunt/uncle or cousins ( on her mother's side ), and more. i'm open to just about everything.

background.

tw: parent death, mental illness.

- madelyn, better known as maddie, was tyler and renee donahue's one and only child. maddie was a military brat who grew up living both in and out of the united states, living on different bases depending on where her father was assigned at the time.

- unfortunately, when maddie was eight years old, renee was diagnosed with cancer and not even a year later passed away, forcing tyler to resign from the military to move him and his daughter to huntsville, west virginia, to live with his parents.

- despite all of huntsville's odd and horrorish occurrences, maddie grew to love the town. happy that this new home of hers was permanent. she could finally make friends without the fear of losing them and she was surrounded by love provided by her her grandparents, who helped fill the void that her mother once occupied.

- maddie was beginning to flourish and thrive, but as she was, her father was succumbing to the depression of losing his wife on top of dealing with ptsd stemming from his experiences on the battle field. when maddie is thirteen he unfortunately loses his battle with mental illness.

- twenty five now, maddie still lives with her grandparents. both of which are big on helping the community. the donahue's are well-known for their hospitality and overall kindness. maddie currently works in the funeral home as a mortuary cosmetologist. someone who puts makeup on the deceased. after experiencing the deaths of both of her parents, all the girl wants to do is help families by giving some last respect to whoever has passed.

[manicallyrhapsodical]

4:04 AM

i think everyone has a right to create a crappy blog filled with the musings inspired by late-night thoughts and worries. i’ve never cashed in on that right. it wasn’t until i sat thinking about whether or not it could be considered manic for me to make a blog, a tumblr account for the said blog, and an opening article at 4:04 am that i decided to jump into the world of the “writer’s blog.”

i’m someone who doesn’t intend to stay up late to do things. i plan when i’ll go to bed, complete my night-time routine early, and get in bed at a decent time almost every night. however, i inevitably find myself sitting up between the world of being wide awake and feeling like i could crash the second i let it happen. i stay up late and enjoy the free time that being up at 2 am with me, myself, and i grants.

when i was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, i remember both my therapist, the psychiatrist, and the medical professional who diagnosed me all telling me how important it was that i got my sleep. on my official “test results,” one of the 9 recommendations for how to move forward with my official diagnoses was to read and study how to sleep better and to implement the practices learned. my psychiatrist mentions every time we meet the importance of getting sleep so as not to trigger a manic episode. my therapist has me take check-in quizzes before we meet each time to report on various things, one of which includes how my sleep is, to estimate what my mental state is before i go in. 

yet without fail, at least once a week, i stay up past the “allowed” time frame i’ve given myself. if i’m being honest with myself, it tends to happen more than once a week, but you won’t catch me admitting that to anyone out loud. 

being up late gives me freedom i don’t always have during the day and serves me for both the better and the worse. i read books and dig deep into researching topics i’ve meant to get around to. i plan my week and how i’ll fit everything into their neat little slots. i tidy up my to-do lists and organize everything from my email to how my photo albums are categorized. labels are added, the excess is deleted, and wants and needs are fulfilled.

on the other hand, i’ll spend hours scrolling through reddit forums, seeing if anyone has experienced the crushing guilt i’m now feeling from mistakes long ago made and how they got over it. i sit and stalk people from my past, silently reprimanding myself for not being farther along in life. i google the feelings and thoughts i’ve been having to see if that’s a potential trigger warning for a manic episode. i listen to a guided meditation to see if it’s strong enough to break me out of the anxiety attack i inevitably bring upon myself.

eventually, i can no longer stay awake, either because i feel slightly ill because of my increasingly frequent sleep deprivation or because i talk myself down off the ledge of seeing just how long i can stay up. when the morning comes, my two hours of sleep never feel like a worthwhile trade for all the good i did in the early hours of the morning. 

i wonder if i’ll feel the same when i wake up this morning to a new hobby on the side, all pristine and ready for me to partake in. guess we’ll find out.

[thebestcrew]

Me, every time I think more and more about having OSDD and exactly how far back it may actually go.

I know for a FACT late in life trauma absolutely affected my sense of self and plurality. That's a given. It also took my neurodivergancy up quite a few notches, but that's another story.

I also know I got a lot of things from childhood that I've been realizing over the past few years where actually traumatic, and I've got a whole bag full of trauma responses as proof. Doesn't mean it gave me a CDD, but I can't deny trauma is there at the very least.

But I also know that without a doubt, the plurality I was experiencing prior to my later trauama was entirely an endogenic experience. Every single interaction matches up with what we currently know about plurality outside of CDDs.

So. Once I get to finally sharing all our "lore" with someone who can accurately diagnose what's going on up in this skull, and if it turns out they think I've had a CDD prior to my late 20s, I still don't think I'd ever drop the mixed origin label. Because the plurality I was experiencing back then vs now is still wildly different. I don't think its ableist of me to think this way because it would be more ableist of me to assume that someone with a CDD can't also experience concepts like the multiple selves theory, Jungian archetypes, or creative muses. The sense of self and how we interact with our own understanding of the self and subconscious is not limited to if you do or do not have a CDD. Sure, things become wildly more complex with a CDD, but I wouldn't say it's impossible to still experience endogenic plurality in a pure state before or after a CDD becomes fully apparent or alters develop. I don't think it's wrong to use both to describe your system or plural experience as a whole. Origins are honestly stupid to debate over. I just like being able to share and relate with others. Talking about how endogenic and traumagenic plurality can coexist brings me a lot of dopamine and gets my little fox brain doing the silly thing like in the gif. It's simply, fun.

People don't have to use labels. I just want to stop seeing people throw out how ableist it is to use a label that best matches an experience. Are people just pissed at the label? Or are people pissed at the implications? Or just pissed at seeing different experiences? Why can't we just have nice discussions? I LOVE seeing similar experiences to mine on Tumblr and I don't give a damn on what label they choose to use. I just want discussions on similarities, differences, what helps, what doesn't, and the ilk. Discussions bring about progress and understanding. Hate don't do shit.

[tanejineri]

no age restriction but we recommend being at least 16 as we are willing to draw blood and slightly gorey things, hell even death and not tag it. if anything goes beyond that, i will label it accordingly

TAGS

#tanejineri - all of my finished art

#misc - wip artwork and text or update posts. reblogs for threads of misc posts also use misc

#reblog - whatcha think?

ART REQS - ✗

ART TRADES - ✗

i block people for a number of reasons, but its usually personal (and usually discomfort). if you're blocked, please do not try to evade this through alternative accounts! i already have paranoia issues thanks to the internet :D

if you'd like to know more about me, you can drop down here. id prefer if you read it on the custom site tho, i made it look all pretty after some guy came in and ruined it [snicker]

KNOW YOUR MAKER

This blog is created and run by @honey-snap (DNF <18) and is in no way affiliated with Nintendo, GameFreak, nor HAL Laboratory.

   ABOUT ME

Name - Rosie-Psi (Psi for this account)

DOB (MM/DD/YYYY) - 06/14/2004

Gender - Male

Level of Education - High School Diploma

Occupation - Unemployed

   INTERESTS / FAVORITES

Hobbies - Art (Sketching/Drawing, Animation, Writing), Cooking, uhh i dont fucking know

Books - The Notebook Trilogy (The Notebook, The Proof, The Third Lie [only really on an analysis level]), Warriors (Series), im going to get back to reading i swear

Films - Watership Down (1978), The Prince of Egypt, The Lion King (1994), How To Train Your Dragon [1+2], The End of Evangelion, Hereditary, Spider-Man: [Adjective] the Spiderverse (so all of it), The Fox and the Hound

TV Series - Neon Genesis Evangelion (im not one of those fans i swear), Invincible, Devilman Crybaby, TRON: Uprising, Arcane

Music - MUSE, Radiohead, femtanyl, Periphery, Lapfox Trax/HALLEY LABS, RYUWAVE, RedOgre, Terrorfakt, Converter

Video Games - ULTRAKILL, Rain World, The MOTHER Series (1+2+3), LittleBigPlanet (1+2+3), OFF, Fer.al (R.I.P), Animal Jam, Rhythm Heaven, Needy Streamer Overload

Other - Animals (Mammalia, Reptilia, Aves), Fictional Theology, Music Analysis

   BIO

HI!!! Welcome! I'm quite the nervous wreck sometimes, so I apologize ahead of time if your interactions with me are awkward. I have autism, ADHD, and depression, which can be hard to deal with, and is also often the reason why I am slow on making things. And also why I am so passionate about everything I do. I was also recently diagnosed with OSDD, so if I ever seem off or not myself, then uh. Whoopsies. I am also very jumpy and really suck at reading people I don't feel the vibes with immediately! I apologize for that as well!! AND I APOLOGIZE A LOT-

I got into MOTHER around July of 2019 when I was 15. It has brought out a lot of joy into me and has shaped the way that I am today! I've been creating content for MOTHER since August 2019, but most of it is private and archived. I have gone under multiple aliases, but Tanehineri is the one that has stuck and resonated the most, being the Japanese name for Tanetane island. The 'j' in my name is actually supposed to be pronounced the way you would a 'j' in Spanish, actually!

While MOTHER is no longer a main interest, I am not afraid to say it's my special interest! Whenever I am running out of things to think or create about, the series is there to give me something to occupy my time. I have multiple takes and headcanons, and I'm always open to hear and share my interpretations of these games with other people, so don't be afraid to ask me for my takes on certain aspects!

As an adult, I speak in a manner that wouldn't be very appropriate for a child. So please, if you're speaking with me and you're a minor, let me know! Otherwise I'll be saying vile shit about Pork Trooper or something.

I ran out of things to say, so uh. ENJOY! WELCOME!!! Once again, please don't be afraid to talk with me!

© 2024 tanejineri*

*this is just for flair i dont actually copyright this shit