#just incredible use of color and light to show relationship dynamics

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

Any headcanons on why Rose's Rainbow Quartz looks the way that she does?

pearl + rose = rainbow quartz

(& what she tells us about their relationship)

here’s what storyboarder katie mitroff said about their fusion in we need to talk:

“I LOVE these two so I was absolutely ecstatic to draw this scene. I remember being really pressed to pack all of their passion and Pearl’s smugness into one moment that lasts the length of a guitar solo… and their fusion that’s just an embodiment of that into one giant, shamelessly beautiful dancer!”

fusion is the ultimate connection between gems and the personification of a gem relationship. it’s important to note that pearl and rose had a stable fusion, which tells us that they were in perfect sync physically, emotionally, & mentally. had they been too flustered, confused, not connecting well for whatever reason in we need to talk, their fusion would not have worked that way.

their dance signifies a strong emotional, romantic, sensual, and emotional relationship. it becomes someone who is unique, strong, & vibrant.

boldness

everything about rainbow’s disposition, body language, & appearance is bold.

her boldness represents just how passionate pearl and rose’s relationship is, and she’s also a reminder of how their love started. together, they rebelled against homeworld, a place where diamonds and pearls are not considered equals. love between pearls and diamonds was unheard of and considered wrong. during the rebellion, when pearl and rose began to feel for one another, a ruby-sapphire fusion resonated with rose. she wanted to fight for the beauty of these relationships, and fight against those who perceived certain gems as inferior & relationships between “inferior” and “superior” gems as gross.

despite how not allowed their relationship was in homeworld, rose still looked pearl in the eyes when she confessed her feelings & replied with, “please, don’t ever stop!”

rainbow demonstrated everything they fought for in the rebellion, her boldness representing that they were never afraid to love each other despite the homeworld’s disapproval.

her stability and her boldness also shows just how sure they were. neither of them ever thought like homeworld did, not even a bit. this relationship would never be easy, and there was a lot of danger around them, but they were courageous and loved each other shamelessly, because they knew their love was beautiful.

but that’s not all:

“Rose falls in love with Pearl’s surprising boldness that comes out of left field.” — end of an era, page 86

rose’s consistent love for pearl is so intense yet such a second nature to her, such a part of her, that one of her favourite things about pearl shines through rainbow quartz.

pastel pink, blue, ??? more on her appearance

rainbow does not look or act more like pearl or rose. rose does not overpower pearl, or vice-versa. for example, her hair is long and large like rose’s hair, but the tips of her hair and the color are very similar to pearl’s hair.

her exact colour palette is not quite known due to the tinted lighting of the music video. whether this be the creators’ intentions or not, i like to think that her unknown colour palette represents something about their relationship, too. pearl has early memories of rose when she would juggle, scribble drawings, struggle to control a spaceship, spend ages outside with her little playmate. their closeness lasted so long that not even their best friends could possibly know everything about their dynamic. no one knows about all the memories they share, simply because it would take a ridiculously long time for them to tell all these stories.

however, what we do know is that pearl and rose’s pastel colours really seem to show—lots of light pinks and blues. her movements are incredibly gentle and graceful. there’s a softness to her, despite how bold she is. i think this symbolizes the softness of their relationship, the comfort and sweetness. their fusion was initially thought of after they witnessed love. as a result of this, they also met garnet, someone who would be very important to them. their best friend, and together, they learned about and experienced all types of love.

her design is very 1980s, as this was reflecting the era. her dance skills reflect pearl and rose’s dispositions. pearl is very graceful, and her movements often resemble a ballerina’s. when she attempted to teach steven about his powers, she brought up creating his own dance. this is a pearl thing, not because she’s a pearl, but because she’s herself. it’s a part of her, and rose always encourages her to be herself. so, of course this part of pearl is shown in rainbow quartz. her dance moves also suggest a sensuality, and she shows this shamelessly. many other gems are more private about this sort of thing if this is something they’re interested in, but it appears that both pearl and rose were comfortable with being rather open about this aspect of their relationship at the time. not so much that it was uncomfortable for anyone, more in a flirtatious, implied sense. so, we have a dancer who is sensual like both of them, but she also has pearl’s type of gracefulness and rose’s type of playfulness.

name & crystal

there’s also symbolism behind her name, rainbow. i know what you’re thinking, sapphic relationship and the rainbow flag. it’s funny, and it’s very true. but it’s not just this; throughout history (even around the time of their first fusion), the rainbow has been a symbol of hope. after a dark and gloomy rainfall, there’s a beautiful rainbow. after pearl makes pink disappear, rose reforms, and as sugar says, “the dust clears, revealing an endless honeymoon” (end of an era timeline). after the war, pearl + rose live together for thousands of years. heck, after centuries of being traumatized by homeworld, both together and in separate ways, they share a love that goes against homeworld’s rules, norms, and beliefs. a fusion is a relationship personified, and everything about pearl and rose’s love signifies something warm in the midst of something cold and dark.

i could have a whole post about crystal properties and how they relate to the characters’ personalities. but i’ll touch on this a little bit for rainbow. rainbow quartz is a stone that reflects every colour of the rainbow. how interesting, because white diamond stated, “as for me, i’m certain I don't need you. after all, i’m every color of the light! but you're a part of me… the part i always have to repress” in change your mind, when she spoke to steven, whom she believed was rose. “white believes that because her gem channels white light, she is essentially a gem light form all the time” (end of an era, 116). pearl and rose both know rose is a diamond, yet as a fusion, they are rainbow quartz. i believe this represents comfort, acceptance, trust, healing. we all know that rose was in a lot of pain, and no one could have changed that. she was deeply ashamed of herself, but a very important aspect of her relationship with pearl is that pearl knew. rose told her every secret she could say, pearl was aware that she was pink diamond, and she was aware of the abuse she experienced. she even saw some of it, as confirmed in now we’re only falling apart as well as pearl’s behavior when white diamond is brought up. rainbow suggests that pearl wanted to help rose heal from her abuse trauma. when she was with pearl, rose was able to feel better about herself & white’s voice in her mind quieted down a bit, even if it never completely disappeared. quartz suggests that pearl loved rose as rose and not as a diamond, and rose still felt comfortable as a quartz, as her new self, around someone who knew the individual she used to be. however, please note that things are not all good. it’s incredibly apparent, just how much pearl wanted to protect and heal rose. it’s partially why she became so fixated after losing her, it’s why she struggles to think about herself. in my opinion, pearl’s feelings for rose are a lot like the song two by sleeping at last: “no, i don't want to talk about myself; tell me where it hurts. i just want to build you up, build you up, until you're good as new and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself, too.”

the rainbow quartz crystal is soothing, healing, and it radiates positive energy. this reminds me of the time pearl and rose explored earth. it was their first good day, their first safe environment, and they spent that day together. it boosts creativity and clarity, which reminds me of their personalities. rose is very playful with childlike wonder, and this gives her a brilliant imagination. she daydreams a lot, so much that it makes her withdrawn, so much that it can be distressing sometimes. pearl is logical and she was able to take rose’s rambles and jumbled up thoughts and say, “that’s a brilliant idea, here’s how we’re going to do it!” this is why they worked so well together, pearl being rose’s second in command. after the war, they had many successful missions alongside garnet who’s wise and balanced with a lot of leadership qualities, and amethyst who provides a different perspective and is also creative with lots of positivity.

voice

there was this time when we were all very sad about the fact that we never heard rainbow’s voice. in the music video, she obviously couldn’t talk, then they let each other go after the song was over. i think this represents that, while they liked to show off certain aspects of their relationship, they also kept a lot of things private. they didn’t want to share many things and so much of their emotional relationship happened behind closed doors apart from obvious things they kept private.

rose also sounds different in now we’re only falling apart. in we need to talk, greg the babysitter, straight to video, buddy’s book… her voice is much softer. her laugh is much softer. when she was alone with pearl, she spoke loudly and rambled more and allowed herself to speak excitedly. i don’t think rose likes the sound of her voice. i think it’s an insecurity because she knows she’s quite childish sometimes but she wants to be different and she was supposed to be a leader on earth, but she questions if she even sounds like one. she permanently reformed as rose, but she could never change her voice, so it reminds her of pink. her scream once cracked the walls, signifying her pain and everything she’s trying not to be.

but in flashbacks from pearl’s perspective, we see a side of rose that really reminds us of steven! pearl highlights her awkward rambles, her loud and childlike exclaims that she has when she’s excited. pearl loved when rose was like this, she clearly seemed to think it was adorable. this helped rose relax more, but i like to imagine rainbow’s silence being a symbol of the fact that every time rose softened her voice or had an act that was not quite genuine, pearl would notice. she encouraged her to be herself, and the gems loved when she was as playful and genuine as ame is, but there’s still a lot that she’s hiding; still so much she’s ashamed of. it also symbolizes rose’s constant fear of hurting pearl, her guilt of hurting individuals from her past (even with her voice—her scream—itself). when they were together, rose was undoubtedly quite genuine but she definitely still had this fear of saying or doing something wrong and accidentally hurting pearl. sugar said, on page 95 of end of an era, that rose could never trust herself. although she could relax more around pearl, she had such low self esteem that she could never trust herself around anyone, as she feared she would hurt them. with this specific analysis and interpretation, the symbolism is even present in the episode’s title, we need to talk.

that being said, this is just symbolism and remember that rainbow’s actual voice could sound nothing like rose or pearl. a fusion is a completely new individual. we don’t get to hear rainbow’s voice, so we can only headcanon.

concept sketches of rainbow quartz by rebecca sugar and katie mitroff

to conclude…

so, rainbow’s appearance and disposition says so much about pearl and rose’s relationship. however, there is not a lot of information provided, but there’s so much symbolism. as for the section with my headcanons… there’s a bit of information that led me to believe them, but some are simply based on her energy and demeanor.

i love her. rest in peace, rainbow quartz

[sicknessbysalem]

ong i adore saylor! i’d love to see a sickfic of her soon but i don’t have any specific request ideas haha i loved the new story!

ask and you shall receive!

i adore these two! they have such a fun relationship dynamic to play with.

if you have any questions, comments, or requests, send them my way!

tw emeto, nausea, scat (as a symptom), affectionate bullying, fever, implications/mentions of a recurring health issue

The sun was high in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over the courtyard where Saylor was hard at work on her latest mural for the school.

Her hands moved easily, the spray paint can hissing as vibrant colors came to life on the wall. The mural, a swirling mix of abstract shapes and bold lines, was already drawing admiring glances from passersby.

Saylor had been asked by the school to complete this mural. To fix the boring, empty wall in the courtyard before someone else got their hands on it and did who knew what with it.

Julian stood nearby, watching Saylor with a mix of awe and admiration.

“That looks incredible, Saylor," he said, flipping through his own sketchbook, "You've outdone yourself this time."

Saylor grinned, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. "Thanks, Jules. I'm really feeling this one."

As she continued to work, a sudden wave of nausea hit her, causing her to pause mid-spray.

She frowned, pressing a hand to her stomach. Beneath her hand, she felt something. Gurgling, bubbling, something uncomfortable.

“That's weird," she muttered under her breath.

Julian noticed her discomfort immediately. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, stepping closer. "You look a little pale."

Saylor shrugged it off, trying to focus on the mural. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's probably just the paint fumes getting to me. Plus it’s hot…”

Julian's concern deepened. "Maybe we should take a break. Get some fresh air and grab something to eat. You haven't eaten since breakfast, right?"

Saylor hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. A break sounds good."

They put the paint cans up against the wall and headed towards the campus café. The walk was short, but Saylor couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in her stomach.

At the café, they found a quiet corner and ordered their meals. Saylor chose a simple sandwich and a side of fruit, while Julian opted for a salad and a smoothie.

They chatted casually as they waited for their food, Julian doing his best to keep the conversation light and distracting.

"So, I heard Ethan's been avoiding the art building since his little 'incident,'" Julian said with a smirk. "Seems like he's embarrassed to show his face."

Saylor chuckled, though it was a bit forced. "Serves him right. Maybe he'll finally stop acting like he's better than everyone else."

Their food arrived, and Saylor took a tentative bite of her sandwich. She felt fine. In fact, swallowing the bite made her stomach growl, and she was almost sure it was just that she was hungry. Her stomach felt… better? She couldn’t tell.

They finished their meal, Julian doing most of the talking while Saylor listened, grateful for the distraction. Despite her attempts to ignore it, Saylor's stomach felt unusually heavy, an uncomfortable weight that settled low in her abdomen.

“I’m going to use the bathroom real quick,” Saylor said, pushing her chair back and standing up. Julian nodded, his eyes still filled with concern, but he didn't press her.

Saylor walked to the bathroom, each step making her more aware of the uneasy sensation in her stomach. She pushed the door open and locked it behind her, leaning against it for a moment. The cool surface of the door provided a slight relief against the growing heat of her discomfort.

Taking a deep breath, she moved to stand over the toilet, unsure if she was going to throw up or not. Her stomach churned ominously, sending sporadic waves of nausea up her throat.

She bent over slightly, placing her hands on her knees for support, and tried to gauge whether she was actually going to be sick or if it was just a false alarm.

Her stomach gurgled, and she felt a pressure building in her chest. She burped, the taste of acid lingering unpleasantly in her mouth. She waited, hoping it would pass, but another, stronger burp followed, making her gag slightly.

She dry heaved, but nothing came up, leaving her feeling even more unsettled.

She stood there for a few moments, her breath coming in shallow, uneasy gasps. Her mind raced, trying to convince herself that it was just a passing discomfort, that she would be fine if she just took a few deep breaths.

But the sensation in her stomach didn't ease. If anything, it seemed to grow worse, a persistent, gnawing feeling that made her question her earlier nonchalance.

She couldn’t be sick. Not now… right?

-

Saylor stood in front of the mural once again, the afternoon sun now casting longer shadows across the courtyard. She took a deep breath and picked up a can of spray paint, the familiar hiss of the aerosol bringing a slight sense of normalcy.

But as she began to work, her stomach continued to churn uncomfortably, each stroke and spray reminding her of the unsettling nausea that had been plaguing her since lunch.

Julian sat nearby, watching her. He had his fashion book, a bag of fabric swatches next to him.

"Hey, Saylor, how about I take your jacket and give it a little makeover? I've got some fabrics and materials that would look awesome on it."

Saylor glanced at him, one eyebrow raised, as she took off the dark purple and blue faux leather jacket. “Knock yourself out. Just don't turn it into one of those pastel nightmares you love so much."

Julian laughed and took her jacket, laying it out on the grass. He pulled out some of his supplies—a mix of fabrics, patches, and small embellishments. "Don't worry, it'll still be you. Just with a little extra flair."

As he worked, Saylor tried to focus on her mural, but her stomach continued to rebel. It felt like a cauldron of acid, bubbling up her throat.

She suppressed a small burp, tasting the bitter tang of stomach acid. She winced and pressed a hand to her abdomen, hoping the sensation would pass.

"Everything okay?" Julian asked, glancing up from his project.

"Just a little indigestion," Saylor replied, trying to sound nonchalant. "You know how I get when I eat. I'll be fine."

Julian nodded, “You do know that’s not objectively normal, right?”

Saylor waved him off, determined to push through. "I'm good. Besides, what can you do? I’ll be alright. Just need to lose myself in the art for a bit and stay standing, that usually helps me digest better.”

But as she continued, the discomfort grew worse. Her stomach felt like it was tied in knots, and each passing minute made it harder to ignore the urgent signals her body was sending. The acid reflux was relentless, each burp bringing a fresh wave of bitterness to her mouth. This was more than just her stomach having a hard time digesting food, it was never this bad.

She tried to keep painting, but a sudden, intense cramp doubled her over. She gritted her teeth, determined not to show weakness.

But the feeling was undeniable. Her lower stomach seized, gurgled. Saylor felt a pressing urgency to find a bathroom. She impulsively wrapped an arm around her stomach.

"Saylor, are you sure you're alright?" Julian's voice was tinged with concern.

"Yeah, just... just need a minute," she muttered, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'll be back in a sec."

Saylor set down the spray paint can, feeling a sharp twist in her stomach as she bent over. The sensation was unsettling, a queasy mix of nausea and cramping that made her pause.

Standing up slowly, she felt a wave of dizziness, the weight in her stomach growing heavier with each passing second.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said, trying to keep her voice steady as she began to walk towards the nearest building.

With every step, the urgency increased, her stomach gurgling ominously, each noise a warning of what was to come.

Her pace quickened as the pressure in her abdomen became more insistent, each step sending fresh waves of discomfort through her body. It felt as though her stomach was a ticking time bomb, the gurgling and churning growing louder and more frantic.

By the time she reached the bathroom, Saylor was nearly running. She slipped into a stall, the cold metal of the door pressing against her back as she fumbled to unzip her leather jeans.

As she collapsed onto the toilet, her stomach let go, releasing a rush of diarrhea that left her bracing her arms against the walls of the stall for support.

The sensation was both a release and a torment, her stomach twisting painfully with each wave. She took deep, shaky breaths, trying to steady herself as her body continued its relentless revolt.

Sweat beaded on her forehead, her face flushed with exertion. She could feel the muscles in her abdomen contracting uncontrollably, each spasm sending another wave of liquid out of her.

Saylor leaned forward, resting her elbows against her knees and her against her hands on the side of the stall, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

She felt drained, her body trembling from the effort. The nausea that had been a constant undercurrent now surged to the forefront, making her gag, forcing her to cover her mouth though nothing came up. Another wave of liquid poured out of her.

She stayed there for several minutes, caught in a vicious cycle of cramps and nausea, each seize of her stomach punctuated by more liquid splattering into the toilet. This was way more than her stomach not wanting to digest lunch right.

Saylor’s mind was racing with a mix of frustration and desperation. Finally, the immediate urgency began to subside, though her stomach still felt unsettled and raw.

Taking a few more deep breaths, she wiped her face with a piece of toilet paper, trying to regain some semblance of composure. She cleaned up as quick as she could.

Her legs felt weak and unsteady as she stood up, her reflection in the small mirror above the sink confirming what she already knew—she looked as bad as she felt.

She splashed some cold water on her face, hoping it would help settle her nerves and ease the lingering nausea.

Finally, she pulled herself together and headed back out to the courtyard.

When she returned, Julian was still working on her jacket, his concentration evident. He looked up as she approached, his expression shifting to one of concern.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, just needed a quick bathroom break," Saylor said, forcing a smile. "What's the verdict on the jacket?"

Julian held it up, the added fabrics and patches giving it a unique, personalized flair. "What do you think? It’s not done yet but…”

Saylor examined it, her eyes lighting up despite her discomfort. "It's awesome, Jules."

She picked up her spray paint can and turned back to the mural, determined to finish despite everything. Julian stayed close, while Saylor fought to keep her discomfort at bay.

Saylor's stomach churned violently as she continued to work on the mural, each stroke of the spray paint feeling like a monumental effort.

The colors blurred before her eyes, and she found it increasingly difficult to focus. Her stomach roiled with an uneasy mixture of nausea and cramping, making her movements jerky and uncoordinated. Minutes turned into an hour, and it was taking every ounce of strength for her to not start shaking from how nauseous she felt.

Julian, still working on her jacket nearby, glanced over with concern. "Saylor, you sure you don't need to sit down for a bit?"

She forced a smile, trying to keep up her usual bravado. "Nah, I'm good. Just gotta power through, you know?"

But as she tried to engage Julian in conversation, her voice wavered. "So, Jules, any new campus drama I should know about?"

Julian looked at her, his brow furrowing. "Not much. Just the usual gossip. Are you okay? You don't look so great."

Saylor's stomach twisted painfully, and she pressed a hand to her abdomen, another small burp sending acid licking the back of her throat that she muffled behind her hand, trying to ignore the growing urgency in her lower stomach again.

“Yeah, just... the paint fumes, and the heat, I guess," she lied, knowing full well it was more than that. "I'll be right back.”

She dropped the spray paint can again and hurried towards the bathroom, her pace more urgent this time. Her stomach felt like it was filled with molten lava, each step sending waves of nausea through her body. By the time she reached the bathroom, she was almost running.

She barely made it into the stall before another bout of diarrhea hit, leaving her clutching the sides of the stall for support once more. She felt her shirt sticking to her back.

The nausea grew worse, her stomach churning violently. She took deep breaths, hoping it would pass, but the sensation only intensified.

Saylor stood up shakily, making her way to the sink. She gripped the edge, her knuckles white, trying to steady herself. Her reflection in the mirror showed a pale, sweat-drenched face, her eyes wide with distress. She swallowed hard, feeling the bile rise in her throat.

A few moments later, Julian entered the bathroom, his worry evident. "Saylor? Are you okay?"

She turned to him, shaking her head slowly, "I... I don't feel so good, Jules."

“Is your stomach giving you trouble?” Julian asked, “Usually, sandwiches are easy to digest for you.”

“I… don’t… feel… good…” Saylor’s words were choppy, small gags interrupting her sentence.

Just as she said it, another wave of nausea hit, and she stumbled back into the stall. She barely had time to brace herself over the toilet before she started to vomit, her body heaving violently. Julian rushed to her side, holding her hair back and steadying her as she retched.

"It's okay, Saylor," he murmured, his voice soothing. "I'm here. Just let it out."

Saylor's body convulsed as she threw up, the contents of her stomach coming up in powerful, relentless waves.

Each heave sent a fresh surge of vomit into the toilet, and she could feel it burning her throat and nostrils.

Julian's steadying hand on her back provided some comfort, but the sickness was overwhelming.

Julian rubbed her back in slow, comforting circles, his touch gentle yet firm. "Just breathe, Saylor. I've got you."

Her stomach contracted again, forcing more vomit up her throat. The taste of bile was sharp and acrid in her mouth, making her gag even harder. She could feel the chunks of sandwich pour out of her.

Saylor heaved again. She could feel the vomit coming out of her nose, the sensation burning and painful. She couldn’t breathe, just coughed. Which made her vomit again.

Julian shifted from rubbing her back, to placing his hand on her abdomen and rubbing hard circles over her stomach. The same thing she did to him.

The motion, meant to comfort, only intensified her nausea, causing her to vomit even harder. She could feel her body shaking with the effort, the retching so intense it left her gasping for breath. She was thankful for it.

Julian held her steady, hand pressed to her abdomen, his other hand keeping her hair out of her face. "God, Say, why is your stomach always set to exorcism when you throw up?”

Saylor's stomach heaved again, sending another torrent of vomit into the toilet. She smacked his hand with her own to his comment, and he only held her tighter.

She could feel her body weakening, the relentless sickness taking its toll. The vomit came in frequent, abundant waves, leaving her feeling drained and miserable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the vomiting began to subside. Saylor collapsed against Julian, her body trembling with exhaustion. He held her gently, his arms providing a steady support as she wrapped them around her, holding her just above her chest.

"It's okay," he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from her face and wiping her cheek with his finger, brushing away a tear. “You're okay now, blackberry."

Saylor nodded weakly, too tired to speak. She closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of Julian's comforting presence.

“Deep breaths…” Julian said, “That’s it…”

Saylor nodded, taking deep breaths. In through her nose, out of her mouth. She reached blindly but somehow managed to grab toilet paper and wipe off her face.

She leaned back against Julian, who placed the back of his hand on her cheek and her forehead.

“Oh, Say, you’re really warm,” Julian said softly.

-

Saylor lay on her bed, curled up on her left side. Her stomach still churned ominously, the discomfort making it impossible to find a truly comfortable position.

Julian sat beside her, his hand gently rubbing her shoulder in slow, soothing circles. He had pulled up a true crime article on his phone, his voice soft and steady as he read aloud.

The familiar rhythm of his voice was comforting, a steady presence that helped distract Saylor from the turmoil in her stomach.

Saylor felt her stomach seize, tasted bile. But she didn’t want to throw up again. It hurt, and she hated it.

"And the detectives soon realized," Julian read, "that the seemingly random clues were part of a much larger, more sinister pattern..."

Saylor closed her eyes, trying to focus on the story and let herself drift off to sleep. But each time she felt herself slipping into unconsciousness, a fresh wave of nausea would surge through her, pulling her back to painful alertness. Her stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

Julian glanced at her, his brow furrowed with concern. "You okay, Saylor? You look really pale."

"I'm fine," she murmured, though her voice was strained. "Just... trying to sleep."

Julian continued to rub her shoulder, his touch gentle and comforting. He was better at comforting her than she ever was with him. Or, this was how he comforted her. This worked for her, and what she did worked for him.

“Do you want me to stop reading? I can put on some music or something if you think that would help."

"No, keep reading," Saylor said, her eyes still closed. "You have the kind of voice that would make teenage girls lose their minds"

Julian chuckled softly before he nodded and resumed reading, his voice a steady, calming presence.

But Saylor's stomach had other plans. She could feel the nausea building, a slow, creeping sensation that made her mouth water and her skin break out in a cold sweat.

She swallowed hard, hoping to quell the rising tide, but it was no use.

She shifted slightly, trying to find a position that would ease the pressure in her abdomen.

Her stomach gurgled loudly, a sharp, painful cramp making her wince.

“Was that your stomach, blackberry?” Julian asked.

Saylor nodded slowly with a small whine.

"Jules," she said, "I think... I think I'm going to be sick."

Julian immediately set his phone aside and helped her sit up, his hand still on her shoulder. "Do you need the trash can? Or can you make it to the bathroom?"

Saylor shook her head, feeling the nausea intensify. "Trash can... please."

Julian grabbed the small trash can from beside the desk and brought it over, holding it out to her just in time. Saylor leaned over it, her body tensing as she felt the first violent heave rip through her.

Her stomach contracted painfully, forcing up a rush of vomit that splashed into the trash can with a sickening sound.

“You know, Say, you should audition for if they ever make another exorcist movie,” Julian said, pulling back Saylor’s hair again, “You’re a natural.”

She retched again, the force of it making her whole body shake. Julian kept a steady hand on her back, rubbing gently to offer what comfort he could.

Saylor's stomach heaved again, bringing up another torrent of vomit. The taste was bitter and acrid, burning her throat and nostrils. She could feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes from the effort, her body straining with each violent retch. Somehow, having less coming out of her made her retches sound even worse.

Julian's hand moved to her hair, holding it back from her face as she continued to vomit.

He whispered soothing words, his voice a steady anchor in the storm of her sickness. "You're doing great, Saylor. Just a little more."

Each heave seemed to come harder and faster, leaving her gasping for breath in between. She could feel the vomit forcing its way up her throat, her body betraying her with its relentless need to expel whatever was causing her so much discomfort.

The force of her vomiting was so intense that it left her dizzy and lightheaded, each wave taking a toll on her already exhausted body.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the vomiting began to subside. Saylor leaned back, panting heavily, her body trembling with the effort.

Julian was there, holding her steady, his touch a reassuring presence in the midst of her misery.

"You're okay blackberry,” he said softly, brushing a strand of hair from her sweaty forehead. "It's over now. Just breathe."

Saylor nodded weakly, her eyes closing as she tried to catch her breath. Her stomach still felt uneasy, but the immediate urgency had passed. She leaned against Julian, grateful for his unwavering support.

"Thank you, Jules," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Julian smiled, his hand still gently rubbing her back. "You'd do the same for me, Saylor. Now, let's get you comfortable and see if we can get you to rest a bit."

With Julian's help, Saylor lay back down.

Julian set the trash can aside, before gently wiping the tears off Saylor’s face again.

“You did good, Say,” Julian said, “Just breathe, okay?”

[andyouweremine]

I am very slowly making my way through a rewatch of Season 1 of Arrow and listen, nothing gives pure Olicity like this season. I don't care if they kiss or hug in other seasons, nothing is as pure or as close to the actual dynamic of their relationship that I wanted to see as Season One and there are some good reasons for this:

(1) Writers are still like 99% sure that they are going to stick with the spin cycle Laurel/Oliver relationship through the end of the series. Felicity as a character is Not A Thing. She's there to help facilitate plot points and make the audience laugh.

(This is not a slight on Felicity; she is not a real person--she's a character and the fact that thanks to EBR she's actually doing more than the writers need her to do is incredible. More so the fact that she does in-fact upstage the Official Comic Book Love Interest who is just not vibe-ing with the lead in the way they need to but I DIGRESS. Her function in the narrative is to provide tech help to move the story-of-the-week along, and do some heftier plot work with helping Walter and later giving Oliver his Mom's Copy Of The List (TM). Characters are allowed to be narrative tools. That's literally how story-crafting works, and I personally think it's something beautiful when a character who initially exists to do some narrative lifting ends up being incredibly beloved by fans and writers and therefore promoted and fleshed out beyond their initial conception. EBR and Stephen and some very cute episode 3 writing made Felicity. I DIGRESS AGAIN.)

(2) Felicity connects with the audience because she makes us smile the same way she makes Oliver smile, which is almost against our better judgement and kind of by accident. We like her because she's insanely likeable, and Oliver likes her for the same reasons. Enough to keep going back to her when I'm sure that Queen Consolidated has more than a one-woman IT department, and he could probably have reduced suspicion by going to someone else another week rather than literally give Felicity all the clues to figure out his identity. But he goes back to her again and again because he's in this perpetual darkness post-island and she's a literal ray of color and light. I will also say that costuming and hair and make-up for Felicity is absolutely top-tier this season, it never gets better than this. She's professional and colorful and I love the bright lipstick and ponytail of curls. I don't completely have an explanation for why her style alters so dramatically post season 1 other than Whoops She's A Female Lead Now and we Are The CW so she needs to be wearing Fashion and not Panda Bear shoes.

(3) She's not supposed to be a love interest, literally not the point of her character at all. So when the writers actually start deviating from The Plan and pulling her more and more into the story, her relationship with Oliver is portrayed as this genuine burgeoning friendship as they learn to trust and rely on each other. Honestly my favorite Oliver/Felicity scene of ALL TIME is still in Big Belly Burger when she brings him Walter's copy of the notebook. "I'm not an idiot; you've dropped some pretty big lies on me, and yet I still feel like I can trust you." idk, I love it. You can pry it out of my cold dead hands. THIS is the best moment of this ship hands down and again I will die on this hill.

(4) There's such a stark difference in how Felicity and Oliver have important conversations after season one. Season two is okay, but by the time we hit Season three the big differences are starting to show. Compare, simple things like "I still feel like I can trust you" or "If you're not leaving, I'm not leaving" to the dramatic "I don't want to be a woman you love" or "Then say never. Stop dangling maybes." or literally my least favorite line in all of television "You opened up my heart in a way I didn't even know was possible."

(I SWEAR TO GOD, "I don't want to be a woman you love" was initially written for Laurel to say. I have no proof of this, but once you think about it it's such a Laurel/Oliver line. I would bet money it was sitting on a whiteboard for three seasons and the writers just couldn't get over how much they liked it so they had Felicity say it.)

(5) Oliver and Felicity's relationship is actually healthier in season one? I don't care that he's lying to her about the laptop or the syringe of vertigo or the arrow or the flash drive, she knows and she's choosing to press him carefully on all of those things without pushing too hard. (This is important because Moira and Tommy and Laurel and Thea and even Diggle are pressing Oliver super hard to open up in literally every other scene, but he's just not responding to them. Felicity lets it go. These look like bullet holes? Opens the laptop anyway. Flash drive has insanely high encryption for a scavenger hunt? Okay, she'll give the info anyway. They become friends-- to the point where a shot and bleeding Oliver goes to Felicity because he does actually trust her.)

Season One Olicity was the Best Olicity don't come at me.

[the-bloody-sadist]

If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Thank you for asking! I had one person who sent me an ask related to this and then deleted it before I could answer (I think I scared them away yelling at other people in my asks 😂).

So here we go, a compiled overview of my TOP TEN FAVORITE MEDIA!! Some will be current that could change (like songs, ever changing) and others will be permanent (like shows).

NBC's Hannibal [Show]: It shouldn't come as a surprise that this is my top favorite piece of media of all time. Not to do the whole 'I liked it before it was mainstream' but I FOUND IT WHEN IT WAS STILL RELATIVELY CULT-LOVED AND GOT INTO IT WHEN IT WAS ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO. THE FANDOM FELT TINY ❗️ Anyway, I'm so glad to see how far it's come and how the fandom has grown. This remains one of the only series that was cancelled that I couldn't tell was actually cancelled because it still wrapped up so nicely in the last-aired season. I'm endlessly impressed with the character arcs, the dynamics, the PSYCHOLOGY (a huge deal for me), and especially the dialogue. I mean, I could list literally every element of this show and how tastefully it was used, but the main highlights are how artfully the gore is shown - giving great perspective of the killers whose eyes we mainly see through - and the dialogue. There's a surrealist tone to it, and so many of the lines are subtle poetry without being the hamfisted one-liners of so many other shows that try to do the same. The actors are incredible, the scenes are precisely paced, and just overall you can tell this was a work of the heart. I mean, more superficially, the homoerotic nature of Hannibal and Will's relationship appealed to me as soon as it was introduced, because GODS is it miles higher in chemistry than like ACTUAL EXISTING so-called LGBT romance shows. (I'm glaring FLAMING DAGGERS at the garbage Interview With a Vampire show in which they ruined everything but most of all the chemistry that the original story did so well.) In any case, please watch it! It's one of the best things I've ever seen.

Last Night in Soho [Film]: Directed by my favorite director, Edgar Wright, who has the most fantastic habit of matching musical beats to visuals (a particular love of mine), this film is GORGEOUS, for one. The colors and scenery, the editing, the lights, the creative shots, the effects, the MIRRORS! Don't get me started on the mirrors. I love mirrors. One of my favorite things about characters - although ONLY when done well - is the contrast of duality. Some of the best portrayals besides this one are in Tokyo Ghoul and Moon Knight, off the top of my head. It's hard to find portrayals I like, but this one shines above them all. There are technicalities on the actual character being dual, but I wouldn't spoil it for you. It's the journey of both a past and present woman, one struggling to find her place in the fashion industry, and one struggling to escape the sex industry before it devours her. I heavily related to certain themes in this one and was viscerally enthralled in the choices and character arcs made in certain scenes. It's cathartic, it's overwhelming, it's PURE ART. You're missing out if you never see this one.

HBO's Sharp Objects [Show]: On so many levels, this one speaks to my wounded little heart. Dealing with heavy topics like childhood trauma, parental abuse, self harm, child murders, the bad sides of southern/small-town culture, and mental illness, I don't know if there's another character that I feel quite as connected to as Amy Adams' portrayal of Camille Preaker. The outstanding detail of this one for me, personally, is Camille's mother, Adora. I can confidently say that there IS no other mother that resembles how my childhood felt than Adora, and because of that this show was a painful sort of catharsis. But I love feeling emotions to a dangerous degree, and I'll just say the finale of this one wiped me the fuck out. I'm currently rewatching it for the first time with my close friends, and I'm so scared to get to that finale again. Lmao. But in a good way. In any case, other than Adora, I also identified with the accurate and visceral portrayals of self harm and PTSD. The way that they show flashbacks and visually jumpscare the viewer WITHOUT the presence of blasting music was the show's shining glory. You have literal ASMR wind and crickets over shots of a dead child's missing teeth, blood hitting pavement, pornography on a cabin door, and then a hanged corpse in the corner of the bedroom, right there with Camille in the shot. It is...SO accurate to the feelings of PTSD. It's just so good. I would recommend the show for that alone, and yet everything else is so perfect, too. Along with the gripping plot of a murder case, the intense shame that follows Camille wherever she goes makes for such good conflict and friction with her surroundings. Everything is personal because it takes place in her hometown. Anyway, I can't keep rambling my mind out of its skull over this one. It's beautiful, it's perfect, it's fascinating. Please see it. I beg of you. For me, it represented so much of how it felt to grow up with family dynamics like Camille's. If you relate to it, you'll either love the catharsis or hate the memories it revives.

No Longer Human [Novel]: Pretty sure I've already rambled my ass off about this one when I made the 10 Characters 10 Fandoms post since Yozo is one of the most relatable characters I've ever read about and thus one of my faves! But yeah, this novel is everything to me. I want so many quotes on my wall from it but honestly the one that I constantly think about is still that first line: "Mine has been a life of much shame." It's well known, but that doesn't make it any less impactful for me. I still tear up sometimes when I think about it. Yozo's thought process is just so...accurate. And knowing all about Dazai Osamu and his life as the writer and how closely it's tied to it? I don't think it will ever move from its spot as my top novel of all time.

The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice [Novel]: Lol so the gif isn't from this story specifically but I need gifs for happy brain so I have one related to the story. Probably one of my favorite romances of all time, mostly because it's a very reserved romance, in the sense that it can't exactly be labelled "romance" except in sub-context. (I mean they do have sex but it's like a story about vampires first, if that makes sense? The romance is sort of a subplot to Armand's vampire adventures.) Anne Rice is a favorite writer of mine, and this book was a masterpiece to me. The language she uses and the scenes of vampirism fascinated me, and I wish that vampire media was better at bringing Anne's true style to life. They make it so goofy nowadays, and no other vampire stories apart from some anime portrayals are ever interesting to me. Not to mention the new Interview With A Vampire series as aforementioned is SO BAD and I hate it. Anne could handle that excessive grace of a man who's lived for centuries and the intelligence gained along the way without ruining their humanity, and knew how to portray the loneliness of such a life without making her characters sound like the emo piss babies of Twilight. She has such a grasp on the poetry of words and breadth of experience, and I'll never get over just how exciting it was to read this book for the first time. Truly felt like I was discovering vampires for the first time, and how they would realistically operate if they existed.

Tokyo Ghoul [Manga]: I believe everyone knows quite enough about Tokyo Ghoul, so I promise not to ramble on this one! But in short, as a psychological thriller lover PLUS horror lover PLUS dual-personality-when-done-right-and-realistically lover PLUS cannibalism-exlored-and-the-terrifying-effects lover I MEAN THIS IS JUST THE STORY FOR ME OBVIOUSLY. Kaneki has and always will be fascinating to me no matter how mainstream or over-talked about he is. He is amazing. Did the anime leave out most of the good stuff from the manga? Yeah, but Kaneki was there. The torture scenes were great. Is the manga better? WORLDS BETTER. But I still enjoyed the anime and got into it through there. I respect the anime's attempt to capture what was a sincerely tragic and deep emotional story. But man, reading the manga is something else, entirely. I haven't had the chance to read every single volume, and I may have skipped around a bit in search of the best parts to invest my time in, but boy I never regretted it. Kaneki's arc, getting to see into his head and experience his trauma and eventual decline into madness was SO SO SO SO SO FUCKING GORGEOUS. Nothing will beat it for a descent into madness story for me, I don't think. Plus ghouls as a whole and the art of the manga are just so *claws the wall* I wish I could draw like that.

The Phantom of the Opera [Score]: What's this?? Het media on Sadist's list?? Okay. I'm a huuuuge music fanatic. I grew up with multiple instruments in the house and played to escape, wrote to express, blah blah blah you get it, I NEEDED music to survive. When I discovered this soundtrack, as someone who despises musicals (and still does, but a few have made it through to my heart), I was ENTHRALLED, I tell you. ENCHANTED! Never before or since have I heard such riveting, mysterious, ethereal music, much less in a musical. Every single fucking song on this soundtrack is evocative and perfect and EVERYTHING. And the STORY! AUGH! I've always adored the story. One of my main quarrels with het 'romance' media is that so many of the "greats" (AKA The Notebook, 50 Shades, Twilight, After, etc.) have these fucking...WALKING RED FLAGS that are presented to be the most romantic things ever. Like the movie itself is gaslighting the audience into believing the emotionally manipulative man dangling off of a ferris wheel and threatening to kill himself if the girl doesn't go out on a date with him is adorable. I don't find it cute I find it reminiscent of every bad partner I've ever had, and I can't watch the movies because NOBODY in them ever acknowledges or is affected negatively in any way by these glaring, abusive behaviors. In Phantom of the Opera, Eric (the phantom) is obsessive, stalkerish, possessive, etc. - many things that other media presents as love WITHOUT understanding how it's also terrifying. The movie (though a little goofy at times and dramatic, I'll admit - which is why the score and not the film is on my tops list LMAO) presents these factors as they SHOULD be presented - scary. The music is ominous, the songs are obsessive and enchanting, and it's not presented as cutesy romance. That's why I love it so much. If you want a toxic love interest, please go right ahead and make one! You guys know me, that's literally what I write about. So I hope I've made myself clear about this topic and what I mean - just present the actual abuse as ACTUAL ABUSE, and scary and horrible, even if the protagonist is falling in love with that. Because reality can be like that. It's tough. But in Phantom, Christine goes with the healthy love interest in the end, Raoul, and I've always thought the ending was beautiful for that, because the Phantom still learned love in the end by letting her go. ANYWAY! Enough of that, good grief lmao. Tumblr with no word limits is so dangerous for me.

Mo Dao Zu Shi [Donghua]: 3 Seasons and I still haven't had enough of it. I just recently rewatched this with my close friends and good gods I was appreciating all the intricacy and character development the second time around. There isn't a single character left un-developed in this donghua like SERIOUSLY. Seriously, big kudos to the fucking author. In anyone else's hands, the magic system and the multiple plot lines and the larger-than-life characters most likely would've been fumbled. But whoever directed this KNEW what they were doing and KNEW their source material. And look, even though I barely know who is who because names are confusing and I barely understand half of the magic going on and why people are fighting, THIS IS THE SINGULAR SHOW THAT EXISTS WHERE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. I'M STILL TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HOW THAT WORKS. But it does? The emotional capacity of every scene no matter if I know what's happening or why just HITS and I'm always rooting for the characters or crying over them. Like, it's just insane. Okay. Everyone who's into BL should watch it, because it's one of the best. And even if you're not into BL, it's one of the best. The action is INCREDIBLE. apffff moving on.

The Case Study of Vanitas [Anime]: BRUUUUUHHHHH. We all know. We all know. I don't need to say anything. But the two boys, man. Two of my top faves. The show is gorgeous, the character designs are beautiful, the setting is romantic, the boys are gay (they are. they are gay.)...I mean what more can I ask for. Oh yeah also vampires! They're vampires. And I love vampires that are like, actually cool. Thank you for making actually cool vampires within a really interesting magic system. I would kiss the author but she made Vanitas straight so no kisses. ONE OF MY FAVORITE COUPLE OF CLIMAX EPISODES OF ALL TIME BTW.

A Silent Voice [Anime Film]: :(...I can't really talk about this one. I relate to it so much. Social anxiety, depression, attempted suicide. It's a really beautiful and painful movie. I cry every time I watch it. The end, that's all. The imagery and the meaning behind so many shots is just...UWEGH.

To Your Eternity [Anime]: *furiously points* LOOK AT THE BABY. OH MY GODS LOOK AT HIM. You guys, you guys. You guys. If you haven't seen this, and you like crying, and you need to cry really hard, and you need the most fascinating and heart wrenching story of all time, this is the one. Fushi, also? Hot. The Beholder, his daddy? Hot. Kenjiro Tsuda? Hot. Sorry, besides the point. This is the best written "you're supposed to cry" story I've ever seen. Nothing beats it. You know what they're going to do to you but yet they somehow subvert your expectations of HOW every fucking time, and MAN??? It hurts. But it hurts so good. And Fushi should be real so I can kidnap him, that's all.

I did 11 things, I'm so sorry. I do this every time. BUT I SURE HOPE YOU FOUND THOSE INTERESTING AND POSSIBLY FOUND A NEW THING TO ADD TO YOUR LIST IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN/HEARD/READ BEFORE. Thanks anon for the ask!

Oh yeah and as extra I wanted to throw in my favorite song right now because IT'S REALLY PRETTY.

[soob1nn]

INTERVIEWS - ADULT FAME DR

REMINDER! I haven’t shifted yet, so all these is just my imagination 🤍

masterlist - main mastelist

Interviews, a dynamic form of communication, serve as a gateway to understanding individuals, their experiences, and their perspectives. Whether conducted for journalistic purposes, research, or casual conversation, interviews unravel stories, insights, and the diverse tapestry of human narratives. Through questions and answers, interviews facilitate connection, exploration, and the exchange of knowledge, offering a platform to explore the depth and richness of the human experience.

THE TONIGHT SHOW - JIMMY FALLON

2019

Appearing on "The Tonight Show" with Jimmy Fallon was an absolute blast. We sat down to discuss my upcoming film, "Knives Out," diving into the intriguing details of the project. The conversation seamlessly flowed from the movie to my recent photoshoot, which evidently left everyone with their mouths agape. Jimmy, true to his playful style, explored various facets of my life, including my marriage with Penn, a topic we hadn't openly discussed before. The atmosphere was light and enjoyable as we delved into a range of topics, spiced up by games that had us both laughing. The entire experience was a perfect blend of fun, genuine conversation, and a touch of Jimmy's signature humor, making it a memorable night on "The Tonight Show."

HOT ONES - SEAN EVANS

2021

Appearing on "Hot Ones" was an exhilarating experience that blended spice, humor, and insightful conversations. While I might not have aced the wing challenge, the intense flavors added a unique element to the interview. Adorned with plenty of jewelry, devouring wings proved to be a slight challenge, adding an amusing twist to the fiery ordeal. Sean Evans skillfully steered the conversation through my future projects, providing a platform to discuss everything from quarantine experiences to the unexpected hobbies I explored in my free time. The entire encounter was a flavorful journey, where the heat of the wings mirrored the warmth of engaging discussions on "Hot Ones."

WIRED AUTOCOMPLETE INTERVIEW

2021

The Wired Autocomplete Interview was a solo adventure filled with fun, especially after just wrapping up filming for the new sequel "Top Gun: Maverick." As I navigated through the most searched questions about me on the internet, the queries ranged from the infamous kiss between Andrew Garfield and Ryan Reynolds at the Golden Globes (an event I attended) to unraveling the story behind a song I wrote five years ago. Exploring topics like my transition from medicine school to acting, the interview provided a platform to address lingering curiosities. The experience was not only informative but incredibly enjoyable, and I left with the feeling that I'd gladly dive into it again.

SPILL YOUR GUTS - JAMES CORDEN

2022

Stepping into the "Spill Your Guts" segment with James Corden alongside Miles Teller was quite the adventure, especially as we discussed our latest film, "Top Gun: Maverick." Rocking a green suit and a white T-shirt, topped off with green nails, I brought a colorful vibe to the interview. Things got personal when they probed about my marriage with Penn, a topic we had kept private since our separation. The questions delved into the reasons behind our divorce, shedding light on a part of my life rarely discussed in the press. To add a twist, there was even a question about revisiting a relationship reminiscent of our (miles and I) teenage years. The segment blended humor, revelation, and a touch of nostalgia, giving viewers a unique peek into the unexpected turns of celebrity interviews.

73 QUESTIONS - VOUGE

2022

Vogue's 73 Questions interviews not only offer a rapid-fire insight into the lives of celebrities but also grant fans an unprecedented peek into their homes. As I navigated through the questions, my fans got to explore various corners of my house, creating a more intimate connection. The inquiries ranged from my hobbies to a tour of my extensive library, where I shared books I've read, those waiting to be explored, and even recommended some favorites. Responding to the curiosity about my culinary skills, I discussed what I enjoy eating and whether I possess any culinary prowess. To add a musical note, they asked me to play the piano, a personal touch that added an extra layer to the interview. Vogue's 73 Questions not only captures the essence of celebrities' lives but also establishes a direct and engaging connection with the audience.

VANITY FAIR LIE DETECTOR

2023

Participating in Vanity Fair's Lie Detector interview alongside Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively was an absolute riot, made even more memorable by the fact that I wore an entire pink outfit that drew compliments. The atmosphere was lively and playful throughout, and we had an incredible amount of fun. In a particularly memorable moment, Ryan turned the tables on me, asking about a quirky incident during quarantine when his beloved Canadian maple syrup mysteriously disappeared. Despite my denial, the lie detector hilariously exposed the truth, and Ryan, who has a deep love for that syrup, was genuinely offended. The revelation left us all in fits of laughter, and Ryan playfully expressed his dismay, sharing that he had to wait a whopping two years to go back to Canada and buy his cherished maple syrup again. The Lie Detector interview, with its blend of humor, fashion flair, and unexpected revelations, became a delightful and beautiful experience.

THE TONIGHT SHOW - JIMMY FALLON

2023

During my recent appearance on "The Tonight Show" with Jimmy Fallon, we delved into the exciting details of my upcoming film, "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo." Jimmy expressed his admiration for the character and my performance, playfully saying "I think the academy is calling Winter!" Our conversation extended to the source material, the book, where we shared our favorite scenes and discussed the nuanced differences between the film adaptation and the literary masterpiece. I revealed that I was already a devoted fan of the book before the film was announced, and my audition was fueled by a genuine love for the character of Evelyn Hugo. Expressing how the role had elevated my craft, I shared with Jimmy that stepping into Evelyn's shoes was not just acting; it was a transformative experience. At the premiere, I found myself feeling more like Evelyn Hugo than Winter Jackman, a testament to the immersive joy that this role brought to my journey as an actress.

[dawnsbreaking]

One of my favorite things about MLQC is the frequent use of symbolic imagery and motifs to set scenes and center characters. I think it’s incredibly clever, considering the importance of MC’s dreams, that the dreamlike symbolism is present throughout the story. At times, in MC’s confusion of piecing events together, reading the story almost feels like a sort of dream or vision interpretation. I love how consistent these symbols are for the characters and the way conflicting or contrasting imagery is used to add depth throughout the story. Also, since the story is told through MC’s perspective, the use of imagery shows us that her perception of the world is colored by her care for the main cast. When she’s with Gavin, MC notices fluttering leaves, when she’s with Victor, time slows, when she’s with Kiro, the sun is brighter, and when she’s with Lucien, she’s more attentive to light and shadow.

Under the cut, I have written more (1400ish words more) about symbolism in MLQC and how it adds depth to Lucien's characterization in particular.

Aside from adding to the mood of the story, the symbolism can also be used to narrative effect, showing us how MC is interpreting a character’s actions or motivations.

For example, we can look at how MC sorts through her feelings about Kiro/Helios in Chapter 29. Sun imagery pervaded previous chapters that centered Kiro while moon imagery is associated with Helios. In CH29, MC uses the harmony between the sun and moon as a metaphor when she accepts that Kiro and Helios are one and the same. This adds depth to what MC is feeling about Helios and also serves to contextualize the relationship between the two identities. (Note: I just love the idea that Helios has the same “sunshine” as Kiro but that he reflects it in a subtle way rather than being overwhelmingly positive like Kiro. This dynamic is only ever implied by the imagery and symbolism but it’s so perfect.)

In particular, though, I want to talk about some of the symbolism associated with Lucien and what we can learn from the way these symbols interact with one another.

Light and Shadow

One motif that is very present when the story is focused on Lucien is the balance between light and shadow. (Note: It’s very on the nose at times but executed well, I think, so I’ll give them a pass.) This motif is introduced far before Lucien’s betrayal is ever revealed, as early as his first meeting with MC. (Note: I literally wasn’t sure when the motif was first introduced but I went back to Lucien’s first scene and SURE ENOUGH, there it is. I love how consistent the writing is in this regard. The motifs are handled so well and so intentionally.)

During Lucien’s first scene in the game, light shining in from the window obscures his face. Far ahead of the betrayal, light and shadow are symbolically playing at obscuring his identity from MC. The light/shadow motif is used at first to symbolize Lucien being duplicitous, without much hinting toward his internal struggle. Later, when it’s clear that Lucien is struggling with a choice between metaphorical “dark” desire to continue his mission and “light” of protecting MC, light is used to hint at that internal conflict. An example of this is below, from Lucien's first standoff with Victor in Chapter 11.

Notably, though, sometimes, the “light” represents MC directly while the “shadow” represents Lucien. After Lucien’s internal conflict and desire to protect MC is first touched on in Chapter 16, the two are symbolically juxtaposed by scene-settings back-to-back in the last two units of CH16. 16-24 opens with a description of Lucien’s dark, gloomy room and 16-25 opens with a description of the lamp on MC’s desk casting a bright light. (Note: MC’s Evol is also represented by light often, so I think this imagery for her works even beyond its juxtaposition with Lucien.)

The same thing happens again when MC comes back from the Eternal Winter world, Lucien’s office is described as dark and shadowy when he is alone and then it’s cast in an “ephemeral glow” as soon as MC steps into the room.

Mirrors

A large part of Lucien’s character arc is his failure to properly make sense of his own identity, this struggle is represented by mirrors/reflections. Often, mirrors are shattered or distorted, implying an added difficulty of perception.

Because of the expectations that have been put on him from a young age, Lucien is very disconnected from his own identity. Even with Black Swan set completely aside, because of his savant-like personality and inability to relate to others, Lucien doesn’t view himself as a human being. Beyond that, there is also a struggle between the two identities of “Lucien” and “Ares” implied.

I think that the answer to this struggle is MC understanding Lucien and having clarity about who he is as a person. Light reflected in mirrors represents this concept symbolically in the Mirror Painting date. (Note: I believe this date is only currently available in the CN server, I read this translation) In this date, Lucien and MC paint each other and then use mirrors to reflect light onto the painting when it’s displayed. After being painted and, therefore, symbolically seen by MC, Lucien is finally allowed to turn away from the mirrors and stop worrying about who he is. The mirrors that represent his struggle with identity are able to add depth to a beautiful image when paired with the lights that represent MC’s understanding.

Shattered and Distorted Glass

This goes hand-in-hand with the mirror motif but is worth mentioning on its own because the symbolism is slightly different. While distorted mirrors imply difficulty for Lucien to perceive himself, distorted glass implies a difficulty for others to perceive Lucien. Shattered glass also represents a fractured relationship between the identities of “Lucien” and “Ares” in a few scenes.

On the wall of the abandoned Ultima Bioresearch Lab, MC finds a quotation written on the wall from the Bible. “For now we see through a glass, darkly. The truth is projected into the hearts of men through a glass lens. It’s distorted, blurry, and one-dimensional.” (Note: I’m assuming that this verse was translated from the Chinese dialogue and not transcribed from an English Bible translation, because this is, at the very least, not a popular translation of the verse that I’m familiar with. Ironically, it’s more popular to translate “glass” here as “mirror” so there goes this whole section LMAO.)

Because of the way it’s presented, I think that this image of distorted glass represents not how MC actually perceives Lucien but, rather, how Lucien believes he perceives her. Obviously, this is also foreshadowing the betrayal so, in a way, he’s correct in asserting that she is not seeing all of him. But, on the whole, this distorted glass imagery is delivered in a way that implies the distortion more as an insecurity on Lucien’s part rather than the reality of MC’s vision.

Rainbows

Keeping with Lucien’s themes of paradox and duplicity, one of his main motifs is the appearance of rainbows, despite the fact that he is colorblind. This is, again, representative of MC’s “light” being transformative to Lucien because the rainbows appear when they are together. I think that, rather than being a symbol for Lucien alone, rainbows represent Lucien’s relationship with MC. It’s a sort of combination of MC’s light imagery and Lucien’s refraction/distortion imagery. In the right circumstances, they can create something beautiful together.

It’s also implied throughout the story that Lucien is able to see colors when he’s around MC, so he is truly only able to appreciate the beauty of rainbows when he is with her. (Note: It’s unclear how this works but I think that it’s a side-effect of his Evol mimicking hers. There’s a footage mission where it seems like Lucien has to ask MC to look at something before he can tell the color of it so I think that he is somehow able to see the world through her perspective, possibly by using her Evol to have real-time visions. Does this make sense? Who knows, but I refuse to accept it just as soulmate magic!!!!)

If you haven’t, I highly recommend reading Lucien’s “Rainbow Luck” R&S. (Note: A recording is available here!) In this story, told from the perspective of Lucien’s pen, Iridescent, MC and Lucien see a rainbow together and it’s implied that this is Lucien’s first time being able to see a rainbow because MC is there. (Note: Iridescent as a name itself is an instance of Lucien’s rainbow motif.)

(Note: Lucien's Moments also features a rainbow paperweight at Bond Level 40.)

TLDR: Imagery and symbolism are used in MLQC to imply things about the characters and their relationships with MC. In particular, with Lucien, recurring imagery is used to represent his internal conflict and his desire for love and understanding from MC. The symbolism of light and its reflection/refraction is used to great effect throughout Lucien’s story, implying a complex web of internal struggles.

[beenovel]

Just finished Wednesday (2022) here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Before I begin I would like to admit that I watched most of the show either with a horrible migraine or on very strong migraine meds that usually either knock me out or make me very loopy. So there may be intricacies that I missed. If you notice something I clearly missed, please point it out.

----

Good:

Wednesday actually visibly cares for her little brother so so much and it's so important to me.

Gwendolyn Christie, Jenna Ortega, Emma Meyers, Joy Sunday, Christina Ricci, and all the other female actresses???? Incredible. Gorgeous. Incredible displays of talented acting every last one of them. The men also did well with what they were given (more on that later).

The coroner came onscreen and before I even recognized why I knew him I started singing No Life Without Wife from Bride and Prejudice. If you know you know.

The lighting?????? The camera angles?????? The costuming?????? The set design????????? HOLY SHIT. Its some of the best I've seen in a LONG time. It's dynamic and interesting and fun. It's artistic and frankly beautiful. It is the look it is the moment. It somehow feels very natural and like it's also telling its own story through use of light and shadow and color. The fact that the principal tells Wednesday "you see the world as black and white and fail to see the shades of grey" while Wednesday wears black and white and the principal generally wears grey or silver????? Amazing. I could go on, I have nothing but good things to say about the artistic choices on this show.

Also, when I have a headache I have a hard time looking at TV shows because (especially if they've gone out there with the lighting) they can make my headache worse but I didn't really experience that with this show.

Enid is absolutely adorable and I don't feel her character was explored enough. Also I love her relationship with her dad, it really reminds me of me and my uncle.

I really really REALLY loved the theme of "teenagers do horrifically shitty things for reasons even they don't fully understand but that doesn't make them bad people and if they're willing to try and make amends they should be given a second chance". It is so important to me and I feel like in our current cancel culture that feels more like puritanical panic this is an important message for teenagers to see.

The respect I have for Principal Weeks is incalculable and I'm furious she won't be returning next season. She was the whole reason I watched the show in the first place. I love that she is respected both in the way she was written and by the other characters.

---

Not so good:

The show felt rushed and clunky, especially the first few episodes. I really wanted to enjoy the story being told but plotlines were introduced very suddenly and in awkward ways and then almost immediately disregarded. It occasionally felt like they were just trying to get through as many ideas as they could as quickly as possible so the audience would stay on their toes.

Eugene? Fantastic little autistic boy. I loved him, his actor did an amazing job and I loved his relationship with Wednesday and how that almost sibling relationship helped pull her out of her isolation a little bit. The other boys? Not so great. Let me make it clear that I think the actors did a fantastic job across the board, they made their characters actually enjoyable and were the only reason I was able to keep watching. However. The script they were given was not nearly as good. The male characters felt very flat and one dimensional which was a startling and unpleasant contrast to the female characters which were so interesting and detailed.

The only exception to the amazing actors was uncle fester. I don't know what it was but something about his voice made me anxious and I didn't like his face acting, whatever it's called. His voice felt more like voice acting which was out of place.

What happened with the coroner??? His death was never properly wrapped up, it was introduced as a way to frame Gomez (which made no sense, that would be like triple reverse psychology) and then we never actually found out what happened even though they made it very clear suicide would be weird because he was excited to retire.

I don't think the writers have ever actually been to therapy. Or they were trying to write a really terrible therapist who pushes her client way to far way too fast. I really wish they'd done more with the therapy plotline.

The Xavier storyline felt very uncomfortable. At no point did I feel like Wednesday was actually interested in him and he was just weirdly obsessed with her like Garrett Gates was with her mom. They even had the same brown medium long hair which meant I confused them when Garrett first showed up and it just felt like an unintentional yet uncomfortable parallel. I'm sure that's not what the writers were going for and I don't know if anyone else feels the same way but it gave me the ick. They had lots of time to make him likable and interesting and they just didn't. Instead we got creepy paintings and "you get lost in the music and I feel like that's the only time I can see the real you" which felt to me a lot like "I'm the only one who REALLY sees you Wednesday".

-----

Final thoughts:

Overall I really enjoyed the show. It was fun, the characters are interesting and lovable, the music and set design/lighting/costuming is fantastic and the riddles and stories were interesting enough to keep me watching. Sure, there were some things that annoyed me or I found lacking but I'd say it was a good show.

[scorchedhearth]

CLOSE, SO CLOSE FOR THE FIC ASKS <33

thank u winter!!! <3

ask for my director's commentary of a fic

this is the ultimate self-indulgent fic if im being honest here. body mods are a topic im very fond of, so it was fun to write. and i also i tried my hand at a softer jaykyle take while still trying to get them in character! hence a sort of time skip to a time where they’re both more stable/mature but still keeping kyle’s openness and perceptive nature along with jason’s more guarded one. the second chapter wasn’t planned at first but upon writing the ending i realized i wanted to explore what would happen after, even tho i quite liked the initially ambiguous ending

i don't really remember how i got the idea, just that i wanted to write jason piercing kyle and writing in a line about kyle trusting jason and the real meaning (just the piercing or in general?) being left in the open for them both. the parts i enjoyed writing the most were the initial cosmic mistake bit in the very beginning, playing with their dynamic was fun, kyle showing off with his ring and constructs, always a favorite of mine tbh, and in the second chapter where kyle is asking jason to take the first step and kiss him, i think it’s a very intimate and raw moment for them where kyle asks jason to put himself out there and take a (metaphorical at this point) risk, to prove he’s ready to involve himself for good in their relationship

something i really enjoy with their dynamic, which is even more explicit here since there’s no hostility in this take on them, is how careful jason is with showing he cares, i love putting lots of small gestures that prove his attention to kyle that he doesn’t speak out loud, like stocking up on the beer he likes, or in the second chapter when kyle talks about struggling with the light spectrum he’s able to understand the issues he has trouble putting into words and he connects enough with him to offer him comfort

but i’ll be honest, i mostly wanted to write about the physical intimacy between them, jason standing between kyle’s thighs and leaning all close to his face and kyle inviting him in and seeking back the touch. at times i find it frustrating how often the word hand appears in my works but i can’t really go around using it, there’s so much to be done with hands and touch! like kyle leaning into the back of jason’s hand when he pushes his jaw away, or where fingers rest on each other and how they react to it, it’s the small details like that that i love writing, it’s so meaningful in such quick or seemingly thoughtless acts.

another thing i like doing with them, which u see in this fic too, is leaving things implicit, in the first draft with one chapter, at the end it’s only hinted at that kyle lost his GL ring and became the white lantern. it’s the idea that they don’t care about their lives or the big things but rather seek each other out for the smaller things, for what they give each other. kyle doesn’t care that jason is RH, he just seeks out the emotional release he gets around him, jason isn’t interested in kyle because he’s a lantern but for the reactions he provokes in him when he’s around

this is also where i dipped into kyle’s relationship with the white lantern for the first time, and i do want to explore it again someday in a proper fic because the way it went in canon is boring at best and the version i have in my head is much better and goes deeper into kyle's character. i want to talk about how he connects and struggles with each color, and what it means to constantly feel incredibly high levels of a multitude of feelings at the same time and ur powers relying on that volatile and extremely demanding experience (something the omega men did touch upon and something i liked a lot about the book)

and bonus tidbit since this is the director’s commentary, i almost gave jason’s nipple piercings here which would have been fun but went back on that choice because it seemed too extravagant for the current subdued tone and mood in the fic, especially the second chapter

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Hello shippers & readers!

With the advent of autumn blustering in under some heat waves, we wanted to zero in on a particular subculture genre this fandom gets a craving for now and then and that is vampires. We solicited our members for the toothy, bloody, sexy nomination they'd most love to read and discuss together and the vote results were in: we chose wait by the light of the moon by drunkkenobi

Aside from scratching the vampire lore itch with a premise that had us shaking with the uncappable potential of what this Ryan would do to keep Shane alive, this fic gives us werewolves and another thing we needed deeply and that is Ryan and Shane as gay women, which helped us to enthusiastically examine our relationships with monsters in media and people socialized as women.

Rating: Explicit

Summary:

“This isn’t a bit!” Color finally returned to Ryan’s face with a brilliant flourish. “You are so infuriating. That is blood because you’re a vampire now and if you don’t drink it, you’ll die.”

“And why should I believe any of that?”

Ryan took a deep breath as she shook out her shoulders. “Because I’m a werewolf.”

Book Club Thoughts

Ryan's boobs and the sudden panic of realizing you nearly died: what a fic!

[The author's] prose feels incredibly natural. It's great writing that evokes emotion and always makes it clear where the characters' heads are at without feeling overwritten to show off

There’s a real person rhythm to [the dialogue] that i love very much and that comes through so easily when the fic is read aloud

I have made it absolutely zero secret that I am in love with the medium of vampires and while monsterfucking can be its own animal, if you will; I feel like [the author] touched on a very specific part of the vampire genre that I love the most. It's the sharing in a secret and honestly, loving the monster skin you're in

happy endings are so much more satisfying if they're earned and the characters had to grow to get there. and this WAS THAT.

I have to say, unrelated to the above, but god the smut is smokin’. I’m not often like, blushing when i read smut but somethin’ about fem!shyan really did it for me

The humour in this fic was just SUPERB and i liked how Shane’s voice and humour was present in the exposition and description too

god if ryan was a girl she would be such a menace

another of my favourite things about vampire fic is the biology and the retractable fangs in this one and moreover that they just burst out when she's in the throes of her thirst. Gorgeous

i think [the author] really perfectly encaptured what they'd be like as cis girls in a way that was very believable, i loved their family dynamics, i love supernatural creatures having to live mundane lives and go to work, i loved ryans tits, the biting kink, the period sex

I also just. Am obsessed with fics where vampires learn how to be vampires. It's esp so funny to imagine Shane dealing with that and all the innate Shane-ness

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[prototypelq]

Wanted to celebrate different series I watched over the years and how they surprised me. There is no particular order.

Final Space

Aside from the fact that this is my favourite series, and it's very dear to my heart, Season 1 has the best drama pacing I have ever seen in any serialised show. Not a single MOMENT is wasted, every minute, every episode is a rollercoaster of tension, risks, stupid jokes and Emotions. The series foundation is character interactions and relationships and every scene reinforces this basement (meaning develops relationships between the cast) OR it puts them under even more pressure so they are tested and built stronger. Season 1 is a perfectly mixed and measured emotional bomb to your feelings, and I haven't seen any other series master pacing as much as Final Space.

+bonus: the prettiest space backgrounds

Generator Rex

I really love the world lore and creature design in Generator Rex. Mutants are unique and creative, they repeat only if there is a huge amount of EVOs on screen, other times creature design is new each and every time and that is a HUGE amount of work put into every enemy encounter for a series.

Tron: UPRISING

The artstyle and animation that really grew on me, even if I didn't really like it at first.

bonus: visuals and soundtrack

Samurai Jack

Two words: Sound Design.

For me, the best of Samurai Jack is watching as our dear protagonist is walking through the new area, just listening to the sound of his sandals, wind, leaves and water around him. I have never seen a series that put this much effort into making sandals sound so damn good.

Trollhunters

LIGHTING. The freakin reflections on Jim's armor, they are everywhere and he is Shiny but not in annoying way and it's incredible. Trollhunter armor is beautiful, and all the troll locations usually are lit with wonderfully colored crystals.

Also it's the first serialised show (that I've seen) that maintained it's quality over the 3 seasons, and with each new one became only better and better. 3 seasons of Trollhunters are truly a complete story.

+bonus: fight choreography is great

+bonus: awesome hero story that tells you that fear is good and useful

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

(Disclaimer: I have not seen previous tmnt series)

The boys relationship is really like siblings, I think the age difference works wonders for them.

THE TURTLES ARE DIFFERENT SPECIES.

On a more serious note: Fight animation and choreography. There is NO series with more fluent and dynamic fight animation than ROTTMNT.

+bonus: fashion episode

Gravity Falls

I don't think there ever (or well, at least in the next couple of years) will be a series with more active and paranoid fandom than Gravity Falls. Hirsch cultivated a fandom full of tinfoil hat wearers, theories and speculations. I don't think we will see another series that plays with the audience on so many levels, it was truly revolutionary.

Gargoyles

It's about gargoyles. There should be more series about gargoyles.

+bonus: gargoyles' roar; gargoyles can glide but can't fly

Devil May Cry Anime

A good watch and an addition to the video game series, I haven't seen any other case when an additional media to the original (video game) series added a genuinely good character! Patty has my special love, and she's Dante adopted daughter, I do not take any criticism.

Legend of Korra

I LOVE the conflict in the first season - the idea of benders abusing their powers for, well, power over non-bender people and non-benders trying to steampunk their way to be able to fight benders is awesome, and I really like the concept.

bonus: RIDEABLE BEARDOG

Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (ran outta gif space sorry)

The best transition of 3d characters into 2d artstyle EVER. An amazing musical that holds up to the movie's level of quality.

[capricioussun]

Please tell us about Underfell Papyrus! I need to know how tol this man is

Edge (UF Papyrus)

Age and Height - early/mid 20s, 7’6

Magic Color and Abilities - Red magic almost exclusively, but he also still has blue magic capabilities, as well as purple magic. Edge has near Complete Magic Control, which means he can control attacks directions even after sending them, stop them completely, and even control how much damage they inflict. He can summon attacks from any surface, and can drastically change their size and shape as well. His blue magic is also highly refined, as he can “collect” multiple souls at once and still maintain individual control over each. He can also summon Gaster Blasters, but incredibly rarely does. His purple magic is actually [REDACTED]. He’s incredibly good at healing magic.

Fighting Style - Edge’s fighting style is highly refined chaos. He’s light on his feet but lands heavy blows, incredibly agile and quick, and uses a mixture of fast oscillating short and long range attacks to disorient his opponent. He also airs more towards fighting physically than relying solely on magic, which is relatively rare in the underground. Something else that makes him a very difficult opponent is that he will use his own attacks as platforms or obstacles, causing further confusion and disorientation for his opponents, as most magic attacks are not sturdy enough to endure that sort of physicality. Though he tries to pull his punches the majority of the time, likes to keep his strength close to his chest and use only what force, and skill, is necessary.

Favorite Relationship Dynamics - Him and Levi, of course, besties 5evr. I love them a lot, I just wish they had better communication skills ✌️😔 They care about each other a lot but are so bad at showing it… I also love his relationship with Flowey! They used to be friends, but grew apart over time. On the surface, they reconnect and become friends again though. I also love his relationship with Toriel. She can be…difficult, at times, but he’s good at helping her level out, and she is just as good at returning the favor, halfway between friends and mom and adopted child, there’s a lot of respect and trust in their relationship. And also his relationship with Frisk. They are a small child who Will Teach Him the ways of Kindness if it kills them both, he tries his best and cares about them so much, he’s a good older brother/dad type person.

What They Do Post Surfacing - He primarily works as the monster Ambassador, alongside Frisk, but he also takes up online college classes for politics, literature, culinary arts, and engineering. He’s a busy guy, but still makes a lot of time for family and all the cats he is inevitably going to adopt if no one stops him <3

A Random Headcanon - He plays the piano! Or, he can. He doesn’t actively play it anymore, because of Reasons, but every once in a blue moon, he’ll stretch his fingers on the keys…

Prompt

[1jet2unknown]

Harringrove Feedback Fest – entry-drug fanfictions & favorite artists

I‘m so happy @gothyringwald is organizing this feedback fest as I think there are so so so many talented creators in the Harringrove Fandom and, with me still being kind of new to the party, I‘m sure I will be able to find so many more creators to connect with & obsess over.

Let me start off with some of the fanfictions that I had stumbled over last year and that actually got me into the fandom. Most of them are rather long, lot of them pretty angsty and all of them are mature/explicit. Warning: They‘re all amazing!

Under the Covers by ToAStranger [M | 59k]

Pining | Enemies to Friends to Lovers | Hurt/Comfort | Angst and Humor | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Period-Typical Homophobia | Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD | Anxiety Attacks Terrible Depictions of Dungeons and Dragons | Slow Burn

Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates.

Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).

dried up, half full - by lymricks [E | 60k]

Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | the POV switches now! | Billy fights the monsters too!

Steve’s been coming out here searching for a monster in the woods. He’s finally found one.

“What do you want, Hargrove?”

Don't Tell Me There's No Hope At All/ Together We Stand, Divided We Fall by Straight_Outta_Hobbiton [M | 59k]

Orphans | Parent Death | Domestic Violence | Murder | Adoption | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse |  Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution | Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction | Underage Drinking | Billy tries not to suck as a human being | Billy tries to be a good big brother | Slow Burn

Billy's used to being afraid of his father, and he knows he's not the only one scared. But it's one thing to know your stepmother gets smacked around every once in a while and another thing completely to find her body on the bathroom floor.

He's a mess, Max is even more of a mess, and Joyce Byers is a queen among mothers, she really is.

Damned If I Do You by ThirdActLove [M | 55k]

Character Study | Internalized Homophobia | Violence | Sexual Content | Homophobic Language |  Angst | Child Abuse | Hurt/Comfort | Canon Related | Fix-It

The first time Billy’s dad called him a faggot, Billy didn’t really know what he meant.

Billy Hargrove Needs A Nap – by lilpeas [E | 74.3k]

Mutual Pining | Sleep Deprivation | Cuddling & Snuggling | Friends to Lovers | Apologies | Billy Hargrove Redemption | Touch-Starved | Skin Hunger | Virgin Billy Hargrove | Implied/Referenced  | Child Abuse | Slow Burn | First Time | Domestic Fluff | Family Feels | Forgiveness

It’s one thing to be a light sleeper in this shitty town that won’t shut up at night, but it’s another thing entirely to fall asleep on Steve Harrington’s shoulder during last period English.

Pain, Will You Return It? by Anonymous [E | 32.9k]

a fic in which billy gets the help he needs and becomes a not shitty person eventual | Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD | Child Abuse | billy swears a lot | Masturbation | Enemies to Friends to Lovers | Falling In Love | Internalized Homophobia | Period-Typical Homophobia | Homophobic Language | Hand Jobs | First Time | Smut

When Billy gets beaten to a literal pulp by his dad, the police get involved. Billy has to come to terms with what he has done to those around him.

He doesn't want to be like his dad.

Especially when he sees Steve Harrington. When he sees Steve, he wants to be good.

Three is Better (than One) by ToAStranger [E | 4k]

Gangbang | Feminization | Forced Orgasm | Light Bondage | Daddy Kink | Gags | Double Penetration | Double Anal Penetration | Triple Penetration | Barebacking | Come Swallowing |  Come Marking | Come Inflation | Light Dom/sub | Fluff and Smut | Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot Rape | Roleplay | Safe Sane and Consensual | Safewords | Established Relationship | Alternate Universe - Modern Setting | Rimming | Humiliation

"This little bitch is tonight's toy," Billy says, walking over, hooking a finger through the loop at the front of Steve's collar and pulling until Steve's stumbling up onto his feet; he smacks a hand onto Steve's ass and laughs as Steve yelps and staggers forward a step. "Her pussy is already nice and ready for you."

meet with monsters by  lymricks [E | 13.4k]

Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Billy fights the monsters too! | Protective Parent Jim "Chief" Hopper

Harrington stops. Billy watches all the blood drain out of Harrington’s face and there wasn’t much color there to start with. Harrington lifts the bat again, tries to get to his feet, lands back on his ass. “Billy,” he says again, but it’s desperate now, not relieved. “Billy, behind you!”

Four times Hopper doesn't arrest Billy and one time he does.

what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way) by brawls (brawlite), ToAStranger [E | 119k]

Slow Burn | Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics | Alpha Steve Harrington | Alpha Billy Hargrove | misogynistic language | Mild Ableist Language | Explicit Sexual Content | Mentions of dubious consent | Rutting | POV Alternating | Bonding | Mating Bonds

Billy knew Steve Harrington would ruin him. Steve knew Billy Hargrove was nothing but trouble.

They never expected it to end up like this.

I also feel the need to point out some of the incredibly talented artists the Harringrove fandom has:

@wrecked-fuse – whose fanart was actually the trigger for my harringrove obsession. The artstyle, the amazing colorations (&incredible lighting) and the broad range of expressions & sceneries just made me instantly fall in love!!

@zayacv – whose AU short comics are so intriguing and hot that I reread a lot of them several times by now! You are looking for some steaming hot NSFW with great angles and the most lickable thighs in the fandom? Then zayac is the artist for you!

@ihni – whose doodles are just so damn funny! I had some really shitty days over the past few months but the creativity and joy of ihni‘s harringrove doodles really kept me sane & positive!

@pastenaga - whose Harringrove comic „Bad News“ broke my heart in the most beautiful way – over and over again! Seriously… if you haven‘t read this comic yet and you enjoy some angst & family feel: This is what you‘re looking for!!

@juu-riin – who is not just creating amazingly funny doodles but also increadibly pretty artwork. It‘s really the full package you get with this amazing artist!

@opaldraws / trashycatarcade – who has such an amazing take on Billy & Steve‘s relationship. There is so many cute artworks that really show new & adorable angles of the boys. Just so much creativity!

@wastingtime-justart – whose sketchy artstyle is just so damn pretty and makes especially Billy looks just so sensual! I‘m just in love with the strong strokes, the amazing anatomy and the way especially Billy‘s mouth and hair always look so pretty!

@gravegroves – who draws one of the most sensual Billy‘s I‘ve ever encountered. He just looks so damn BEAUTIFUL in all the pieces…

@avalonlights - whose clean arstyle & coloration I absolutely love. Whenever I look at their art, I wish it was an actual cartoon that I could watch!

@swankystuckup1 – whose soft artstyle & coloration skills I absolutely adore! And their art is so lively, with a wide range of expressions and moods just perfectly put to paper. Seriously check them out!​

@ichigata – whose paintery artstyle is mesmerizing and especially I love the way she draws Billy!

@darkmystwraith – who draws Billys locks perfectly! You like seeing our kings (& especially Billy) topless looking hot as hell? Then this artist is for you!

...

There would be so so many more to name… but this post is already long enough as it is. So I‘ll leave you with a big THANK YOU to all you amazing people in this wonderful fandom and am excited to check out everyone‘s else Feedback Fest entries to find even more amazing people.

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Comic Review - Amongst Us Book 1

A masterful combination of comedy, subtle romance, and incredible sensuality

I make no attempts to hide my complete admiration and infatuation with Shilin Huang's Yuri webcomic Amongst Us. The slice of life AU featuring reimagined versions of the lead characters from fantasy series Carciphona as a lesbian couple has held a special place in my heart for a long time. I named the series one of the best Yuri works of the past one-hundred years, can frequently be found lurking in the author's Twitch streams, and even have a wall in my office dedicated to the artwork of the main couple (or I did before my office became a remote classroom). So, when a Kickstarter by Shilin and Hiveworks Comics launched promising a print version of the work, I was eager to support it financially and promote it with my humble platform. The Kickstarter took place in March, and books were initially estimated for release in May of 2020. However, as you have probably realized by the dates alone, the world went very South around this time. A combination of disruptions from the COVID-19 pandemic, a healthy amount of bad luck, and what I am inclined to believe, for various reasons, was some awful mismanagement by Hiveworks led to numerous delays. Indeed, by the time the book finally shipped, I had moved, so my copy arrived a little later as it had to be forwarded. But, at the end of this frustrating and anticipation-building event, I finally have the volume in my hands, and it was worth the wait. While I adore the webcomic, this gorgeous print volume completely enthralls me. The book is absolutely the preferred way to read this spectacular comic.

Before getting into the exquisite details of Amongst Us Book 1: Soulmates, I need to take a minute to praise how well this book is put together. The paperback binding is thick and features amazing spot glass that sparkles in the light. This feature only accentuates the fantastic and bright the cover illustration of main characters Veloce and Blackbird loving holding each other is. The back cover has a simpler but more imaginative illustration of the two flying through the sky, and the character's expressions tell you everything you need to know about this fantastic, odd couple. There are a few things you will notice upon opening the volume. The first is how well Amongst Us made the challenging transition from vertical webcomic to the page. The assembly and paneling are fantastic and clear, and chapters feature stylized illustrations and title cards. You will then see the inside cover, a powerful display that perfectly contrasts the front's glowing and tender love. Finally, there is Shilin's presents moving forward and dedication, where she lovingly dedicates the book to her partner, Kristen.

I assure you, as good as the book's presentation and assembly is, the contents within are even better. Amongst Us follows Veloce and Blackbird's bombastic relationship. The two women are eccentric and striking musicians in their early twenties, and I swear you will never forget them. The slice of life storylines are, per the genre's definition, mundane and include events like shopping at the mall, riding the train, and having lunch with a friend. The charming simplicity of the story serves well to the reactions of the characters. Shilin effortlessly transitions from adorable moments of affection to explosive and hilarious comedy and irresistible and delightful moments of sexual tension; Veloce's neck and jawline alone could topple a monarchy. Often, slice of life works can become dull or repetitive, but these stories and the frequent changes in tone help the reader stay engaged and excited.

Putting slice of life aside for a moment, it is also important to note that Amongst Us is also has an interesting place within the Yuri genre, or "Girl's Love/GL" as it is often called in webcomic circles (originally an analogous term of Boy's Love). Webcomics have often been a bit more adventurous with their storylines and styles than Japanese manga. While the genre rose to popularity in the space thanks to digital manhwa and manhua, some (not all) of the Yuri tropes did not carry over between the similar mediums. Many modern webcomics and webtoons take their inspiration more from manhwa and manhua GL, which has developed its own canon and tropes over the years. However, even for a webcomic, Shilin's work feels somewhat divorced from most other worlds of Yuri. This first volume exists mainly against the Yuri genre's expectations. However, the next book, which flashes back to the couple's origin, undoubtedly is more in line with convention, for better or worse. It feels like the author decided to screw the norms and write a work that she would enjoy, and I am so glad that she did. Veloce and Blackbird are young adults, out of school in an established relationship with no drama. This (sadly) unconventional setting is made all the more irregular because of just how distinctive, and unwonted Blackbird and Veloce are.

Blackbird and Veloce, originally from the fantasy world of Carciphona, take on a new life, literally, in this wonderful modern reimagining and homage. You do not need to be a fan of the original work to enjoy their bizarre and larger-than-life personalities. Indeed, when I read Amongst Us online for the first time, I had not ever even heard of Carciphona. Veloce is the quieter and more stoic of the two, although she is not afraid of showing a more relatable and human side as she reacts to Blackbirds wild antics. Veloce's (not)straight man approach is hilariously sobering. But, her best moments are in those when she lets loose a little bit, like when she is rendered drooling by the promise of her favorite smoothie or in her stoic yet alluring flirtations with Blackbird, only to get close enough to steal a healthy chomp of ice cream.

Blackbird, on her part, is completely insane. She continuously pulls of wild antics like jumping on Veloce to surprise her or singing an especially threatening song after a glorious battle over lunch. However, she is perfectly capable of showing her love and admiration for Veloce in her own cheeky way. However, true to form, each softer or more personal moment between the two is often immediately and perfectly juxtaposed with comedy, with the apparent exception of the book's touching and thoughtful finale. Veloce and Blackbird will both more than please readers individually, but you will fall in love with them as a couple. I must have read this at least a few dozen times between the webtoon and the book, and I am just as enchanted as ever by their loud and unapologetic love.

The ordinary misadventures of Blackbird and Veloce are accompanied by genuinely astounding artwork. No, that statement does not do Shilin's illustrations justice. Veloce and Blackbird lead from the page thanks to stunning, full-color illustrations that detail every moment of hilarity. Every movement from the slightest smirk to the over-the-top dramatizations of regular events thoughtfully and beautifully sprawl across the pages and invite you to stare for hours. Shilin is the only person possible who could make something as simple as someone softly singing Happy Birthday so epic and sultry. Speaking of which, my goddess of Yuri is this work titillating. No, there are no gratuitous scenes, but just the characters leaning over each other or touching the other's chin makes my hands shake. My only small complaint is that some early chapters show their age slightly with noticeably lower quality linework and flatter colors than the dazzling and dynamic work demonstrated towards the end. Still, even on its worst day, Amongst Us looks better than most of its peers and the entirety of its many inferiors.

Amongst Us is nearly the perfect work. It has a uniquely compelling and mirth-inducing way of displaying a young yet very unordinary couple's everyday life. Its characters, from design to personality, are instantly memorable and striking. Despite being ready to rip each other's heads off at the drop of a hat, or rather because of it, Blackbird and Veloce feel the perfect and natural couple we so rarely witness. Shilin's masterful combination of comedy, subtle romance, and incredible sensuality is astounding. This book is worth it for the outstanding and vibrant artwork alone, but its combination with excellent writing create a sonorous and majestic modern romance unlike any other. I believe that Shilin has created something genuinely special here, and I can confidently say that out of the hundreds of webcomics I have read, this one is the pinnacle of its kind and my absolute favorite.

You can purchase Amongst Us book 1: Soulmates exclusively on Shilin's online shop and read the webcomic now for free on Twitter, Webtoon and Tumblr​ @okolnir​.

Ratings: Story – 9 Characters – 10 Art – 10 LGBTQ – 8 Sexual Content – 5 Final – 10

[thethistlegirlwrites]

Andromeda - Describe your main characters

Aries - Share a line that you’re proud of!

Cassiopeia - What’s your favorite scene so far?

Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?

Gemini - What inspired you to write this project?

Libra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?

Pyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?

Ursa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?

Caelum - Do you write outlines? Why or why not?

Canis Major - Do you like writing character-driven stories or plot-driven stories?

Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!

Musca - Do you like sharing your writing?

Phoenix - How do you develop your ideas?

Sagittarius - Do you like to collaborate?

Virgo - Describe your favorite tropes.

Andromeda - Describe your main characters

Jim: Literally looks like he would be the blandest person in the story, brown hair, brown eyes, glasses, always looks annoyed. Is also precious and adorable and incredibly thoughtful. He often carries a cane because of chronic leg pain he has no explanation for.

Matti: Quite tall (6'4"), Dark curly hair, green-grey eyes. Matti has an aura about him that seems both dangerous and exciting, but he's also a very kind and gentle person and people around him can sense that too. In summer he's very tanned and freckled from working outdoors on the farm, and his hands are rough and always a little grimy under the nails.

Lina: Long dark hair, usually in a ponytail, brown eyes, light brown skin. Lina has an abstract floral tattoo on her left shoulder and upper arm, and usually wears comfortable, colorful clothes, especially yellows and oranges. She's very observant and surprises people with her capacity to defend herself. There's usually black stains on her hands but whether they're from engine oil from working on her van or typewriter ink from one of her articles is a toss-up. 

Will: Tall and slender, messy bright red hair that turns coppery in the summer, hazel eyes, and lots of freckles. Will is shy and often tries to make himself smaller to blend in, which results in a permanent slump to his shoulders. He has a deep dark-brown burn scar halfway up his right arm from an accident with an oven door when he was really too young to be using it anyway.

Aries - Share a line that you’re proud of!

"There’s something dark in all of us."

Cassiopeia - What’s your favorite scene so far?

This scene I posted a while ago with Matti giving Jim a ride after the mail Jeep breaks down in the rain!

Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?

This changes on a daily basis lol. I feel the vibes for different characters at different times. Right now, it's Jim, having a crisis over who (and what) he actually is.

Gemini - What inspired you to write this project?

I actually intended this, initially, as a fic. I was working on an AU setting for some characters, and as it got more and more detailed and I put more and more research into it, I decided that it deserved to be an original story!

Libra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?

The trio of Jim, Lina, and Matti. The way they keep running into each other and how their lives get tangled together is just so much fun to explore.

Pyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?

Mostly, the dangers of defining humanity in ways that are self-serving. How anyone can justify themselves by dehumanizing the people they want an excuse to hate, abuse, or exploit. But it's also about how seeing the humanity in others is what makes us human, ourselves.

Ursa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?

A LOGICAL WAY TO GET THEM OUT OF THE MESS I GOT THEM INTO. I wrote these folks into a complicated corner and honestly might have to just trash half these scenes/ideas in edits. But at least I'm trying to put all logical options on the table and avoid plot holes.

Caelum - Do you write outlines? Why or why not?

No, because every time I try my characters decide to be perversely gleeful about disregarding them!

Canis Major - Do you like writing character-driven stories or plot-driven stories?

Character Driven, for sure. I start with my characters and then figure out a plot that suits them. It's why I write so many AU fanfics. As long as I have good characters, I can work out a plot around that.

Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!

Two different descriptions of half-animal, half-human characters in rough shape, welcome to 'it's a Thistle book"...I wouldn't say either is better per se, because both depend on the vocabulary and thought process of the observer since I write third person limited POVs mostly, but it's interesting to see what I focused on. And as we can see I'm still far too fond of italics-indicated inner dialogue!

From The Art of Being Human (old unpublished project, 2017)

I’ve never seen a Mixed in this bad shape. At least not outside the Blue. Besides how awful his back looked, he had cuts and bruises all over his face and he was frighteningly thin. His skin looked almost blue; his clothes were filthy and ripped and he was soaking wet from the rain. He looks so human, but he’s still definitely a Mixed. What kind is he? There was some bloodstained cream-colored fur on his shoulders and back, and he had thick lips like a horse or cow Mix. He was so tall and thin, probably some kind of horse. Oh, those spots aren’t blood. He had large tan patches in the fur on his shoulders and his face was covered with freckles. I think… I think he’s a giraffe. I’ve never seen one this close before. He wasn’t quite as tall as the escorts she’d seen from a distance in the Blue, but that could be because he was young or because he wasn’t a first gen. He didn’t look like he had the short stubby horns those had either, but she couldn’t tell for sure under so much tangled hair. 

From Scrapbook of the Unexplained (2022)

He’s no longer in the cell in the laboratory. Instead, he’s in what looks like some sort of kennel, with human-sized cages lining both walls. Matti can’t see what’s in the ones next to him, if anything, but across the hallway there’s a lanky kid with a mop of dull, matted fox-colored hair and faded freckles splattered across his thin face and shoulders.  It takes him a minute to place the memory of who he’s seeing. The kid seems familiar, but it’s hard to say, when he’s grimy and neglected and covered in nasty-looking deep red gashes that look intentional. Definitely another test subject. Then the kid looks up, and Matti remembers where he’s seen those wide, scared brown eyes before. Will Bauer. How did he end up in here? 

Musca - Do you like sharing your writing?

Yes! I love sharing my characters with other people who love them (whether that love is shown by wanting to protect them from me, or by encouraging me to torment them more - and of course give them a happy ending eventually)

Phoenix - How do you develop your ideas?

Research. Lots of research. I start with some general idea and then go crazy digging into the lore around it, because I usually like to start with folktales and superstitions. In this case, I'd known about the feldgeister for about a year now, and only just found a story I could use that specific cryptid lore in!

Sagittarius - Do you like to collaborate?

Yes! I've collaborated on fics with a few different people. And I like it when people share ideas that they think might work in my original projects!

Virgo - Describe your favorite tropes.

Oh my, where to begin... found family, not-quite-human characters, unexpectedly soft male characters, past trauma, long term captivity, humans being inhuman, 'monstrous' characters who are actually the kindest, teasing huge plot twists, complicated family dynamics...the list goes on!

Thank you for the ask!

[softyoongiionly]

Portraits of a Tiger || 04

Legends of a great and equally terrifying warrior nicknamed the Tiger have been emerging from your fellow villagers for quite sometime. Stories of his skill, his stealth and his supposed wickedness have been passed around to the point where he is more prophecy than person. You have lived your life with a strong sense of conviction, rarely letting gossip influence your opinion. However, you would be lying if you said that his legacy didn’t intrigue you. When the Tiger and his infamous army arrive in your village to refuel, you come face to face with the man behind the myth.

And no amount of marketplace gossip would ever be enough to capture the true complexity of his nature.

Pairing: Merchant! Reader x Warrior! Yoongi

Genre: Adventure, Romance, Smut (later), Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: language, depictions of violence both verbal and physical however they are fairly mild, mentions of war and power dynamics, there will be smut in future parts so, (18+ only please).

A/N: ahhh yes romance is in the air lads. I hope you like this new part!!! I’m having so much fun writing this series for you guys :) LOVE YOUUUUU

As always, a HUGE shoutout to my beautiful friend Rachel @bulletproofbirdy​ for her assistance with this fic. I love you sm and I hope you especially like what I’ve done with the place >:)

It’s been a few days.

Nothing of substance has happened since the night you kissed Yoongi by the river other than a clear shift in your relationship with him.  

He doesn’t treat you differently in front of the patrons at the market nor does he spare more than a glance your way when you’re delivering bread.

But every night, without fail: you meet by the river.

You speak about things that seem too heavy for the daylight: war, peace, hope, loss...

He listens to your thoughts and offers many of his own but the night always ends with his lips on yours.  

His hands moving across your body as if he’s trying to learn every inch of you.

Whilst you’d happily have him against a tree or down on the mushy floor of the riverbed, Yoongi always stops things before they go to far.

He whispers promises of a night without boundaries in a place you both can call your own.

He tells you that when the time is right, he will give you everything you deserve and more.  

You agree with him despite the desire that rages in your body.

You know it’s best to wait until things are more concrete between the two of you.  

So you part ways every time and spend the rest of the night longing for one another until sleep finally offers you momentary peace.

Until the dreams begin...

Today however, you are concerned with someone else’s dreams.

Namely, your dear friend, your original confident, the smartest gal in the world: Rachel.

After your first rendezvous with Yoongi, you had rushed over to her home and spent the better half of the night gushing about the kiss.

Of course, she had been over the moon for you and the two of you had jumped around her living room like a bunch of excited schoolgirls.  

However, towards the end of the conversation, particularly when Jungkook’s name was brought up she had grown slightly somber.

Although their interaction had been brief, the chemistry was palpable and as much you had faith in your friend’s abilities, you didn’t foresee her making a move on him.  

So- you have decided to take matters into your own hands.  

With a basket full of fresh bread, you walk down the dirt path towards their camp to begin the initial phase of your plan.  

It was unlike the members to be absent from the fields surrounding their tents but, you presume it’s because training had concluded for the day.

You expected to see Namjoon out on their bench cribbling in his journal but, there is no one to be found.

There is a bit of anxiety that comes over you as thoughts creep in of the day that this area truly is abandoned.

The day Yoongi and his battalion move on.

Deep in your gut, dread begins to grow but you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus on the objective at hand.  

You tug the bell to signal your arrival expecting Seokjin’s boisterous presence to greet you but, instead you hear a bit of shuffling before a hand slips out between the cloth to tug open the entrance.

Immediately, your heart ignites in a fit within your chest at the sight before you.

Yoongi stands there, body completely rid of his normal attire, with only a pair of tight-fitting long johns adorning his figure.

His hair is out of his usual updo and pushed away from his face, long platinum tendrils cascading down his strong chest.

“Oh- hi...” You cough as the tone of your voice is audibly strained.

He smirks, his eyes lighting up as he sees you, “Good evening. Delivery?”

A jagged nod comes from you as you extend the basket towards him, “Yes. Here you go, I added some-”

Yoongi’s lips are on yours then, interrupting your sentence, one of his hands taking the basket whilst his other hand settles on your cheek.

As usual, his lips eliminate any thought in your head unrelated to him, your body going slightly limp beneath his touch.

He lingers for a moment before pulling away, his brown eyes sparkling with satisfaction.  

“This color is beautiful on you.” He murmurs nodding to your dress and pecking your lips once more, “did you make this?”

You smile, licking the taste of him off your lips, “Thank you. My mom made it for me last spring.”

He grins, “She’s very talented.” He lifts the basket, “This is a wonderful thing to wake up to, my men are going to destroy it.”

You giggle, raising your brows, “Late night?”

“Very. We were out until sunrise.” He explains, “Much of our training is nocturnal and the forests around here allowed us to teach the new recruits some important skills; we all slept a little later than I anticipated...” He chuckles sheepishly, glancing behind him before his eyes fall upon you once more, “It’s nice seeing you in the daylight.”

You giggle, “Is it? That’s a relief, I feared that maybe the moonlight and the beauty of the river was what kept you coming back every night...”

Yoongi’s lips twitch as he adjusts the basket on his arm, “I think you know very well what keeps me coming back.”

Before you can offer another flirtatious quip, a ball of fluffy black hair shoves its way through the opening of the tent.  

It’s Jungkook and he looks as though he hasn’t been awake for more than 30 seconds.

“Hyung- is the bread...” He mumbles sleepily before his eyes widen as they spot you, “Oh- I’m sorry...” He bows his head, “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Good uh...” He squints up at the sky, his lips pouted slightly, “Good evening Y/N.”

You bow your head, offering a smile, “Good evening. You didn’t interrupt at all, I was actually looking to speak with you when you have time. I know you’ve just woken up so, I can come back later...”

Jungkook’s cheeks heat up involuntarily as he steps behind Yoongi a little more, “Alone?”

Yoongi eyes you curiously, “What do you want with the boy?”

He chuckles at his younger brother who looks both intrigued and frightened all at once.

“We don't have to be alone.” You assure him, a bit of laughter leaving your lips, “It’s about my friend-”

“Rachel?” He assumes, wide-eyed, “Is she ok?”

You smirk knowingly, “She is. I was actually going to inquire whether or not you were interested in her but, I think I have my answer.”

“Ah- “ Yoongi interjects, looking at you pointedly, “You’re here to play matchmaker for my little brother?” He looks amused, his deep gaze boring into your own as he speaks again, “Don’t you have your hands full with another endeavor?”

The depth in his tone sends a bit of electricity up your spine and, you’re thankful that Jungkook doesn’t pick up on the bit of suggestion in his voice.  

He’s hung up on your reply and aching to know more.

So timidly he says, “Is she- maybe...interested in me?”

Averting your gaze away from Yoongi, you nod towards Jungkook, “I have a feeling she’s more than interested. However, she is incredibly stubborn and refuses to acknowledge the way you look at her. So naturally-” You gesture to yourself fluidly, “I decided to come here and ask you myself.”

“Naturally.” Yoongi agrees, his lips twitching, “Well, I don’t want to intrude on your plan so-”

As he tries to retreat back into the tent, you stop him with a raised hand, “Actually. I need your help after I speak with Jungkook so, don’t go far.”

Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head, “You’re aware that I oversee a battalion of 20,000 men, correct?”

With a shrug, you gesture for Jungkook to come closer before throwing an incredulous look Yoongi’s way, “Romance waits for no one...”

“Neither does war.” He retorts with a smirk.

"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” You remind him, quoting a famous war strategist, “It won’t take long anyhow, plenty of time to return to your post, General.”

Jungkook, who has been zoning out for the last minute or so raises his brows at your tone, his lips parting in curiosity and glancing towards Yoongi.  

He doesn’t hear people quarrel with Yoongi often, even if they are joking so, hearing you speak so candidly to him causes him to wonder just how close the two of you have gotten.

If Yoongi is impressed by your knowledge, he doesn’t show it. But what he does do is raise his brows whilst his teeth secure themselves to his bottom lip.

“Make it quick.” He insists sharply despite the excitement dancing through his gaze.

Before you have the opportunity to respond, he disappears behind the curtain, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Hyung must really like you...” He observes softly, pursing his lips, “He isn’t the type to joke around with new people.”

Stifling a smirk, you shrug and gesture to the bench in front of their tent, “That’s a shame. Your hyung has quite the sense of humor. Now- I know you don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll make this quick.” You begin as the two of you sit, “Normally I’d like to approach a situation like this with a bit more class but to be frank, you won’t be in town long and after the way I saw you looking at Rachel, I don’t think you’ll mind my intervention.”

Jungkook blushes, his fingers coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear, “Ke-Keep your voice down, I don’t want my hyungs to hear about this...” He pleads, “They’ll tease me relentlessly.”

You allow yourself the grin now, admiring how shy he is but you concede not wanting to embarrass him.

“Do you not want them to know you’re courting someone?”

He shakes his head, “No I just don’t want them to know until I speak with her first. I know you say she’s interested but- I'd still like to hear it from her.  My hyungs will pester me about it constantly and if she ends up rejecting me, I don’t really want to be reminded about it.”

“I understand.” You concede, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m sure I’ve never seen her behave this way around a man before. It’s unlikely she will reject you...”

“Still-” He insists, the color on his cheeks deepening, “it's possible. I never assume people’s opinions of me.”

It’s very odd, you think, here is this fine specimen before you: handsome, experienced, talented, respected and yet- he doesn’t seem to see himself that way.

Sounds a lot like someone else you know...

“That’s probably best.” You smile, warming up to him rather quickly, “You are interested in her though, aren’t you?”

He bites his bottom lip in thought before nodding, a bit of shyness in his eyes, “I am yes. Though I’m not totally sure how you figured it out based on our limited interaction. I’ve only spoken to her once- and I made a fool of myself.”

You giggle, “Yes but, you saw her for the first time in the plaza, didn’t you? She stopped you right in your tracks.”

His toffee orbs widen, “How did you-?"

A smirk comes over your mouth as you once again shrug at his question, “My job requires me to be very observant.” You reply, “People often say more with their movements than their words.”

“Hey!” He grins, showing off his perfect teeth, “I think that too! Well- that's something Yoongi-hyung taught me. I’m trying to get better at it but, I find it harder to observe people I don’t know. Strangers make me nervous...”

His sudden warmth makes you happy as you didn’t really expect him to be this bubbly but, you’re happy he’s comfortable with you given your intentions behind this conversation.  

If he’s courting your friend, he’s courting you too.

“You could have fooled me.” You retort, “I saw the way you handled the clan leader...when I came by your tent, I was anticipating on meeting someone very different.”

Jungkook chuckles, “I get that a lot. I rarely live up to people’s expectations of me- I think that’s one of my strong suits. Aside from my brute strength obviously.”  

“Yes of course, we mustn't forget about that...” You concede, laughing lightly along with him, “So back to Rachel then- you plan on courting her yes?”

He shifts on the bench, his tan fingers coming up to adjust his peasant blouse, shyness returning to his features, “I would love to. She-” He pauses, looking away from you, his eyes deepening in thought, “Aish...she really is something isn't she?”

At his question, you smirk and allow warmth to fill your chest, “Now where have I heard that before.” You muse allowed, “I could facilitate a meeting between the two of you? Although- I will likely have to tell a teensy white lie because, if I warn her that you wish to meet with her- she would probably combust on the spot. Also, I doubt she would believe me...”

He smirks fondly, nibbling on the inside of his cheek before his brows furrow, “Why wouldn’t she believe you? She must know how desirable she is right?”  

“Certainly not. She has no idea. Which is why I finally decided to take matters into my own hands.” You explain, propping your chin on the palm of your hand, “Rachel is a brilliant woman. She could easily run a small country if the opportunity was presented to her but, she has no concept of how wonderful she is.”

Jungkook pouts his lips, “I was certain she knew. How could someone that beautiful not understand their own beauty?”

You raise your brows, “Do you recognize yourself as desirable?”

He snickers, “Don’t be silly. I might be a suitable partner because of my status as a warrior but, I don’t think there is much else I have to offer. That’s what has me so worried...what if you’re wrong about her desire for me?”

With an incredulous look, you shake your head in disbelief, “The two of you amaze me. You’re so brilliant and yet- so foolish at the same time. I assure you; you have plenty to offer. The women in this village nearly faint every time you pass- quite frankly, you are incredibly handsome with an unusual amount of talent and-”

Jungkook is smirking, pleased with your response as he interrupts you, “I thought you were interested in my hyung Y/N-” He teases and snickers as you roll your eyes.

“That is neither here nor there.” You insist, “The point is, the courtship is worth pursuing because I believe it will go well. So I came here to suggest a plan...”

“What is your plan dear matchmaker?” He chuckles, folding his hands and resting them on the table.

“My plannnn is-” You draw out the word before leaning in closely and divulging your ideas.

You are elated when he agrees and feel slightly giddy at the thought of your dear friend meeting up with the potential love of her life.

Romance certainly is in the air.  

The plan is set in motion after a few more moments of talking and the conversation ends with Jungkook eagerly rushing back to his tent to prepare.

Feeling satisfied with your healthy dose of meddling, you brush your dress off and start towards the exit of the camp.  

However, the deep voice of your suitor stops you in your tracks, sending butterflies directly into your stomach.

“Leaving without a goodbye?” Yoongi calls softly, departing from his tent.

You turn with a smile on your face to see him fully dressed in his training attire: fitted black pants and a matching tunic, his sword strapped faithfully to his hip.

“I figured I caused enough havoc amongst your battalion today. Besides, I wasn’t sure if you’d be dressed and I didn’t want to disturb you.” You explain, your hands sliding down to play with the fabric of your dress.

“If havoc is putting a ridiculous smile on my brothers face than please feel free to wreak havoc anytime you wish. I have dreaded the day where I’d have to convince him to go after his potential partner and you’ve gone and lifted that responsibility from me.” He explains, stepping towards you a bit more “He says his meeting with her tomorrow evening?”

“If all goes well.” You reply, your face heating up in light of his presence, “My plans usually play out successfully.”

“I have no doubts about that.” He chuckles, his feline gaze glancing behind you momentarily before returning back to your face, “Will I be seeing you tonight?”

Pretending to toy with the idea, you narrow your eyes and place a finger on your chin, “I suppose its possible, if you aren’t too busy with your duties here...”

“My duties?” He places a hand on his chest, stepping closer to you once again, “If anyone were to be tied up with their duties, I imagine it would be you. Being a full-time apothecary is enough but, now you’ve gone and taken up matchmaking as well.” Yoongi’s eyes glint as he stares at you, “You never have to concern yourself with whether or not I’ll have time for you...”

You resist the urge to throw yourself at him, frustrated by the effect he has on you.

“Then I suppose you will see me then.”

He grins, “Good.”

For a few seconds, the two of you stew in silence before the need to kiss him becomes too much to bear and you take the steps necessary to wrap your arms behind his neck and place your lips against him.

You can hear his sharp intake of breath as you do, his hands securing themselves at the base of your back.  

The movements of the kiss escalate quickly, and you find yourself forgetting that you’re stood in the middle of a military camp, where anyone could walk out and see you both canoodling in the courtyard.

Yoongi seems to realize this too as he pulls away with heavy breath and hesitation all over his face.

“My my my...” He murmurs, shaking his head, “You really have no regard for my well-being do you?”

His light scolding causes you to giggle which in turn breaks the disapproving expression on his face.

“I’m trying to improve your well-being actually.” You insist, your fingers toying with the tendrils of hair at the back of his head, a dreamy smile on your mouth.

He raises his brows, “Oh? How do you figure that?”

Before you can reply, the rustling coming from behind Yoongi pulls you out of your conversation.

The rest of his battalion have seemingly woken up and are beginning to flock to the courtyard in preparation for their training.  

Glancing behind him, Yoongi sighs before turning back to you reluctantly, “Tonight?”

You offer him a smile and step back out of his grip, “Tonight.”

He takes your hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of it before heading off to his men.

Tonight now seemed a century away despite the fact that the sun was already heading off towards the horizon.  

-The next day-

Your night with Yoongi followed the similar structure that it usually does.  

Deeping meaningful conversation, playful banter, difficult questions and well, a healthy dose of unresolved lust.  

He asserts the end to your displays of affection every time, offering the same words of comfort.

You’re fine with this of course.

You’d never want him to do anything he didn’t want to do, and you’d certainly want the first time you were intimate to be special.

However, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling dejected.

It’s not because Yoongi says it’s not the right time or that he doesn’t think the two of you were ready.

You respect him and his choices completely and would never attempt to coerce him beyond his initial responses but...

You are beginning to feel alone in your desire for him.  

For you, there has never been another to ignite such a powerful response within you.

You’ve never wanted anyone so badly.

It makes you feel insane and yet, here he is, so calm in his demeanor and easily able to refuse any opportunity to sate your hunger for one another.  

It’s very silly, you think, he is clearly interested in you.

He makes that very obvious.

And yet, you can’t help but feel confusion.  

He wouldn’t be in your village for much longer and soon enough you’d have to say goodbye for a length of time you’d rather not assign numerical value you to.

You wish you understood his intentions more and at the same time, you wish you were able to quell your desire for him.  

You did feel alone in that way.

Yoongi was an incredible, multi-faceted man with seemingly thousands of years’ worth of knowledge behind his eyes. He was open and yet so secretive all at once and because of that, you couldn’t understand why he behaved this way.

The two of you would intentionally rile each other up only for him to put a stop to things every time.

But it’s almost as if this was part of his plans with you all along.  

And you just couldn’t understand why.

So naturally, you end up running to the person who always keeps you grounded for advice: Rachel.

Although, after your conversation with Jungkook yesterday, you have multiple reasons for paying your friend a visit.

“He stopped things again before they went too far and-“ You sigh, looking down at her hands that secure a warm mug of tea, “I feel a little strange about it. I’m starting to feel like maybe he doesn’t desire me the way I desire him...”

Rachel is sat across from you on her sofa as she usually is, her legs tucked up on the cushion.  

She takes a sip of her tea before her brows furrow in disagreement as she shakes her head, “I sincerely doubt that. He was very, um...excited wasn’t he?”

He was, you think, and he usually is but that only adds to your confusion.

“I don’t know...” You groan, “...he says he is but- he keeps saying it’s not the right time. I’m worried I may be too lustful towards him; I’m wondering if it’s off putting.”

“He does not seem the type to play games. If he says it’s not the right time...he must have a right time in mind?” She suggests before looking at you pointedly, “And I don’t believe you are being lustful. Even if you were, what’s wrong with that”

Nothing.

Nothing is wrong with being lustful as long as you are being respectful which you can honestly say you are but, the insecurity you’re feeling is contributing to a bit of shame within you.

“I’ve never wanted anyone this way, I feel like I’m going mad. He seems so calm and collected and yet- here I am, flustered and confused. I’m used to having a handle on my emotions I guess and I wish I knew how he was able to keep himself so composed.” You ponder the end of her question, “There is nothing wrong with being lustful. I just don’t know if he feels the same if it’s so easy for him to control himself around me...”

Rachel nods along, her bright eyes listening intently before she pauses to think, “You know, you have to remember he is a ten-year veteran and the leader of the most elite military force in our country. He has so much control and discipline applied to himself in all areas, I can’t imagine he would be able to easily relinquish that control. Especially with someone he has so much affection for. I am certain it is not easy, merely well-practiced”

She has a point but then again, she usually does.  

You bite your lip, turning your attention to the fabric of the chair, picking at it, “You’re right. I suppose I’m being a little immature about this...I should just be more patient.”

It’s decided in your mind that you should move on to the other reason you came to visit her this evening: a deceitful conversation with a much happier ending.

“By the way, what are you doing this evening?”

She’s stood up now and striding over to the kitchen, rubbing your arm as she passes you, “You are not immature at all! I’m confident your general is worth the patience.” She assures you with a wink before she thinks to herself once again, “I don’t have anything in particular planned, why do you ask?”

You giggle at her wink and follow her with your eyes as she heads over to make herself another cup of tea, “I have a favor to ask you- that goes beyond our mutual agreement to keep each other sane.”

Rachel snickers and shakes her head, “I don’t know if there is much hope for our sanity but what do you need?”

You smile but it doesn’t totally reach your eyes, your mind annoyingly still occupied elsewhere, “You make a good point.” You concede before brightening your expression intentionally, “I had a customer today that inquired about the type of material the village school covers for children ages 3-5. They are considering enrolling their child this year and wanted to speak with a teacher. I was hoping you would be able to meet with them? I told them to stop by the school and speak with someone but I was hoping that someone could be you because you’re so experienced.”

Rachel brightens at the mention of a new student “Oh really? I would be happy to meet with them! At that it’s primarily playing games, reading stories and singing songs but I have a lovely little bunch of students that age already!” She cheers, clapping in front of her chest, excitedly.

Her joy is infectious, and you can’t help but grin despite your knowledge that she would certainly not be receiving a new student; you almost wish that she was though.  

“Great! Well they should be around right before sundown. I gave them your classroom number and a bit of background on you and the school.”

“Oh my goodness! That’s not far off...well I have to bring in the dried flowers for tomorrow’s art lesson anyway...oh and where did I put the new wax pencils. Did you see where I put them?” Rachel abandons her cup of tea on the counter and begins puttering around in the baskets on her kitchen table, completely distracted.  

You spot what she’s looking for and hold up set of pencils setting on the end table, “They’re right here..” You call, turning in the chair to hand them to her, “I would wear that blue dress of yours too, it’s very complimentary.” With this suggestion, you can’t help the glint in your eyes that shines through the bit of sadness still present there, “Well- thank you for your words of wisdom. I’m probably going to take a break from the river tonight, so I’ll be home if you need me for anything. I have no doubt that tonight will go wonderfully though...”

“Oh there they are!” She chirps, taking them from you before looking down at her current outfit, “I suppose I should change, I certainly look a bit of a mess...” She pauses then to look you, noticing the glimpse of sadness in your eyes. “Don’t hold yourself back from love, Y/N. Your general is certainly just as passionate about you. I would bet all the gold in the kingdom on it!”

The excitement and certainty in her tone is almost enough to pull you out of your funk but, the stubborn naysayer in your head has different plans.  

“No you don’t, you look wonderful! I just love the blue one on you.” You insist, before crossing your arms and slumping back against the chair, “I am not holding back, I’m just- trying to be reasonable I suppose. His passion is clearly controlled, and I guess I should work on controlling mine as well...” You explain matter of factly with a pout on your lips.

Rachel matches your pose as she steps around the chair to look directly at you, unconvinced, “Mmhmm. Perfectly reasonable.” She drawls sarcastically before chuckling when you attempt to kick your foot at her.  

“I am!” You assert, trying to hold back a smile, “I’m just some silly little girl fawning over the man of my dreams while he gets to CALMLY walk away like us canoodling against a tree doesn’t affect him- and I feel foolish for desiring him so much when he’s able to do so.”

Rachel lets out a cackle your display of frustration. “You are NOT a silly little girl. A silly grown woman? Maybe," She giggles, “but I am CERTAIN he wouldn’t have to address this “right time” so often if he didn’t desire you. Do what makes you feel powerful! But don’t play games with the poor Tiger’s heart needlessly...from what you have said he is a much gentler man than we’ve given him credit for. “Though,” She tilts her head, her hand coming up to fuss with her hair,  “you certainly shouldn’t seek advice from me. I spent the day with paste in my hair without realizing.”

Your pout deepens, “I would never play with his heart... I’m going insane with desire over here and he gets to be all collected like ‘when the right time comes- I promise you it will be worth the wait’ and oh look at me, I’m extremely handsome and I can just kiss passionately for minutes on end without going further...” You grumble haphazardly before you hesitate slightly, “Well I’m not sure what him being handsome has to do with it but you get my point.” A smile threatens your features even more when she mentions her hair, “Paste is all the rage darling, you are simply fashion forward. Besides- I have a feeling this uh- new student of yours will look out for you.”  

Rachel hugs herself as she laughs at your little outburst, “It has EVERYTHING to do with it! You know it does-” She accuses playfully, “I do get your point though. I’m certain you will meet again...and say what’s on your mind! You are much better at that than I am anyway.” Rachel’s face is full of hesitation then, shaking her head, “Most of my students “look out for me” by piling dandelions on my desk and leaving goopy handprints on my clothes...I hope this new student is sweet.”

A smirk plays on your lips then, dropping your other topic of conversation, “I’m sure they will be, their parents seemed nice enough...”

”Oh really?!? Do you know anything about them? Should I bring anything along? Are you sure they want to see me? Should I get going?!” She babbles excitedly, glancing towards her front door.

Her eagerness serves as your cue to head out, your stomach brewing with hunger, nerves and excitement.

You couldn’t wait to hear how tonight will go for her.

“It is almost sundown so I suppose I should get going...” You concedes with a sigh before offering her a genuine smile, patting her shoulder as you head towards the door, “Just bring your lovely self, they are very eager to meet you.”

“Okay, if you’re certain!” Rachel smiles, gathering a collection of dried flowers into a basket before heading for the door with you, “If you change your mind and go to the river after all YOU HAD BETTER TELL ME!”

“You look amazing-” You promise as you step past her through the doorway, “I have a feeling you’ll have more to tell me the next time we meet but I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

Rachel looks confused for a moment before merely shrugging it off, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek, “Okay then, I’m off! I love you ok? Hang in there...”

You embrace her shortly unable to help the growth in your smile, “I love you too. I wanna hear about the meeting tomorrow ok?”

She agrees happily, already bounding off towards the schoolhouse, a basket of flowers in her hand.

Despite the uncertainty you may feel about your own romantic life, you are filled with joy at the thought of your dear friend starting a fairytale of her own.  

Even though she has absolutely no idea...

---------------------------------------

Rachel arrives at the schoolhouse just before sundown, using her master key to unlock the heavy oak door of the main entrance before heading off to her classroom.  

The windows surrounding the exterior of the schoolyard allow for the different hues of the sunset to stream in thorough the glass, providing a beautiful stroll down the hallway.

Rachel feels optimistic as she opens up the door, immediately setting the basket of flowers on a nearby desk and lighting the various lanterns around the room.  

The sun would be up for another half an hour or so but, Rachel was unsure as to how long this meeting would go so a little extra light wouldn’t hurt.

Since she doesn’t have a concrete time of arrival, she decides to busy herself with a bit of prep work and light cleaning for the next school day. She figures that if a parent were to walk in on her likes this, it might add to their overall impression of the school.  

A teacher’s work is never done.

After roughly 40 minutes or so, Rachel is beginning to worry that this parent potentially changed their mind. That is until, a light knock sounds on the outside of her door.

“Come in!” She calls brightly, standing up from behind her desk.

She has no expectations for what her visitor might look like as she honestly hadn’t even considered it since you asked her this favor. However, the man who walks in through her door most certainly is not who she would have ever expected.

Because the man who just walked in, is Jungkook.

Tall, strong, doe-eyed, shaggy haired, WARRIOR Jungkook...

The terror cub himself has now found his way inside her classroom.  

And she is both terribly confused and terribly excited all at once.

“Good evening,” She chokes out, smoothing her hands down the front of her dress, “Forgive me but- you're not the person I’m meant to meet with are you? Did you see any folks outside, looking a bit lost perhaps?”

Jungkook looks terrified but he steps inside nonetheless, one of his hands positioned awkwardly behind his back.

“Uh- Hi, I mean- Good evening mam...” He bows before her, “Um...” He shuffles forward a bit, his eyes scanning the room for a moment, “Heretheseareforyou.” Jungkook rushes out, shoving a bouquet of fresh daisies onto one of the empty desks, his eyes averting Rachel’s very confused expression, “I am the person you’re meant to meet actually...”

Rachel gasps to herself as she spots the daisies, her heart immediately picking up in her chest, “Oh! Oh goodness thank you, that’s very kind of you...” She smiles, her hands seemingly frozen in place at the front of her dress, “I’m- I’m so confused I apologize. Do you have children?”

He shakes his head, his floppy black hair following the motions. He is dressed in a pair of tan linen pants and a rather tight-fitting white peasant blouse, the golden expanse of his chest on full display, his feet tucked into a pair of leather boots. Rachel does her best to ignore how good he looks but, he makes it very difficult.

“No I don’t.” He answers, cringing slightly at the juvenile nature of this situation, “You know Y/N right?”

Rachel giggles, the sound a little higher pitched than usual, “I do yes. We’ve been friends since we were children...”

“Heh yeah, sorry I knew that but uh- so Y/N...” He begins, his hands coming up to assist in his explanation, “She paid me a visit earlier and suggested that...welll- She suggested that I pay you a visit.”

“Oh well- is everything alright? Are you in need of my assistance?” She inquires softly, her face decorated with concern.

Jungkook’s chest is filled with warmth at the sight of her unease, feeling very lucky to be the object of her concern.

“Everything’s ok I just- I wasn’t sure how to go about speaking with you.” He hesitates, feeling a bit of discomfort as he tries to find a way to explain his presence here, “I know you’re a very busy woman and I wasn’t even sure if you’d even want to speak with me which- by the way, if you’re uncomfortable with my presence, please let me know. I don’t want to be a bother...”

Rachel shakes her head instantly, her hands coming up to stop him from continuing that train of thought, “No- no not all! I mean-” She clears her throat, “You aren't a bother at all, I would love to speak with you. Although, forgive me- I'm a little confused as to what you’d like to speak about. Is it the school? Are you interested in meeting with the students?”

Jungkook grins softly and shakes his head, “No mam. I mean- I wouldn’t be opposed to meeting with them but, I am more interested in meeting with you...”

She gulps, her eyes widening a bit as she places a hand to her chest, “Me?”

He bites his lip and Rachel swears she sees a sparkle in his eyes as he steps closer to her.

“Yes mam. I uh-” His throat bobs with his own uncomfortable swallow as he shoves his hand in the pocket of his pants, pulling out a piece of crumbled parchment, “ I have travelled many miles. I have seen the mountains, the ocean and the forest. I have seen the sun in east and the moon in the west. I have seen the royal palace and all the riches it contains. I have seen all a man would need to see in his lifetime and yet, I have never felt complete until my eyes fell upon your face.”  

Comically, Rachel’s mouth has fallen open, her face colored with shock.  

Her heart seemingly freezes in her chest as Jungkook’s nervous gaze leaves the parchment and gazes up towards her.

“I wrote this when I was 17.” He begins sheepishly, “I promised myself that I would read it for the woman who captured my heart...”

Rachel inhales shakily, a slight sting in her eyes as emotion overcomes her.

“But you just read it to me...”

He chuckles warmly, his hand tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “I did.”

“Am I-?” She begins but Jungkook cuts her off, stepping towards her a bit more.

“I know it’s a bit much isn’t it? I’ve never been very good with subtly and with my departure looming in the background, I couldn’t help but confess to you while I still had time. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and your existence makes me warm. I haven’t felt warmth like this before and I- I guess I just wanted to see if I had a chance at courting you...”

Rachel finally closes her mouth for a moment only to cover it with her hand.  

She’s in complete disbelief that this is happening, but she responds nevertheless as best as she can.

“You- you have more than chance, you have a million chances I- oh wow, I feel a little faint goodness gracious...” She sighs, fanning herself as she leans against her desk, “I don’t understand...”

He rushes over to her then, a look of concern on his face, “Are you alright? Do you need some water or something?”

She shakes her head, letting out a shaky breath at the close proximity between them, immediately noticing the way he smells like amber and rosemary.

It warm, just like he is.

“I’m ok, I just-” She looks up at him, “I honestly cannot believe you feel this way about me. I’m just a schoolteacher, I probably have paste in my hair...and you’re a warrior I- I'm confused.”

Jungkook snickers, tilting his head to the side as he spots the bit of paste still clinging to the end of her hair. With gentle fingers, he reaches out and extracts the bit of dried gunk from her hair, discarding it on the desk, “You are not ‘just’ anything. You are bright and warm. Your duty lies with educating the children and I believe that to be far nobler than what I do. Please don’t sell yourself short, especially not on my account.”

Subconsciously, they seem to lean into one another, Rachel’s nerves dissipating slightly, “So then, you said you wish to court me yes? How- how do you intend we do this?”

He purses his lips, “Well,” He tilts his head to the side, “I would love to have dinner with you. I know that there aren’t many eateries in the village but-”

“I can cook for us!” She chirps happily cause his grin to broaden, “I know a spot we can eat, it’s really beautiful and it’s private for the most part.”

Jungkook is bursting with fondness, nodding eagerly at her suggestion before turning around to grab the flowers, “That sounds wonderful. Are you available tomorrow, same time?”

“Yes! I mean-” She clears her throat as the volume of her voice escapes her, “Yes, yes I’m free. I can meet you at the plaza?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll meet you anywhere you’d like...” He nods and haphazardly pushes the flowers in her direction, “Here, I picked these for you. I’ll pick more tomorrow as well- do you have a favorite? I hope daisies were alright...I’m not familiar with the flora around here.”

She smiles brightly, accepting the flowers graciously, securing them to your chest, “These are perfect! I love wildflowers, really anything that grows along the east part of the river...” She muses thoughtfully, “Daisies are some of my favorites as well. I’m sure Y/N told you that though...” She giggles but Jungkook shakes his head.

“She didn’t actually. I suppose it was just a lucky guess.” He smiles before stepping back slightly, fiddling with his hands now that they are empty, “So tomorrow then?”

With another rapid nod she responds, “Yes, tomorrow.”

“Great! Well uh-” He hesitates, glancing longingly towards her lips before extending his hand, “May I?”

With a harsh swallow and a shaky hand, she obliges, sticking her hand out towards his.

As if she were made of glass, Jungkook carefully raises her hand to his lips before placing a chaste kiss over the ridges of her knuckles, “Until tomorrow...”

“Until tomorrow.” She squeaks, covering her mouth once more.

He bows his head, offering another devastating grin before leaving the classroom.

With a hefty sigh, Rachel stares at the door in disbelief.

“It seems as though my dear friend isn’t an apothecary but a criminal mastermind...” She muses to herself, her cheeks on fire as she giggles to herself, “Huh, you think you know people.”

-------------------------

You decided shortly after your meeting with Rachel that you would in fact be going to the river because, regardless of your uncertainty: you still wanted to see Yoongi.  

“Something is troubling you...” He notes the moment he steps out from behind the trees, dressed down in a pair of black pants and a longer gray linen robe to ward of the slight chill in the air.

“What makes you say that?” You challenge with a grin, your heart fluttering as soon as you see him, “I’m just hoping my plan is playing out as I’d hoped...”

“Ah-” He lifts a finger, “I recall you saying that your plans play out relatively well. Also, you and I both know that my brother and your friend are smitten over one another so- I find it hard to believe your thinking so hard about a clear victory.”

You bite your lip, unsure of what to say next as Yoongi has so clearly seen right through you.  

“We don’t get much time together; it would be a waste to spend it discussing the internal monologue going on inside my head.” You joke, stepping towards him.

He clicks his tongue, “Now see- that is where you’re wrong. It was your internal monologue and your resulting opinions that drew me to visit you in the first place. The other talents your lips have are merely a bonus.” He smirks but his eyes hold some degree of concern, “I want to know what’s on your mind Y/N...no matter how insignificant you may find it.”

Yoongi’s sincerity draws you out of your shell, your heart picking up slightly at the thought of discussing your feelings.

“It’s silly...” You warn him causing him to chuckle.

“Good, I could use a bit of silliness after today.” He promises with a grin but his laughter dissipates as he notices even the slightest bit of distress on your face, “Your thoughts aren’t silly Y/N, at least not to me. I’d really like to hear what you’re thinking.”

Gnawing on your bottom lip, you take a deep breath and muster up the courage to be honest with him, “What are your intentions with me?”

He tilts his head, stepping closer to you after your question, face decorated with curiosity, “Which intentions are you referring to?”

You feel yourself growing nervous under his gaze but, you stay strong anyway and push through, “All of them- I suppose. It’s just that, I’m having difficulty...I’m-”

The hesitation in your features concerns Yoongi and he can’t help but quell the distance between you, taking your hands gently in his own.

“My girl- what's troubling you like this? Have I upset you?”

He’s tilting his head, trying to find your gaze as you look down at where your hands are connected.

His question causes you to look up at him, lips parted as you shake your head.

“No, no of course not.” You assure him, entwining your fingers with his, “I just- oh I promise you it’s going to sound silly...”

Yoongi chuckles incredulously, gently shaking your hands in his grip, “Y/N, darling please tell me what’s on your mind. I promise you I won’t find think it’s silly.”

Your heart sings at the pet name he gives you, taking a momentary break from it’s uneven rhythm, “I’ve just been wondering why you haven’t...well, why we haven’t- why we haven’t been intimate.”

Yoongi’s chest tightens with realization, his grip on your hands tightening ever so slightly before taking a deep breath, “There is nothing silly about that at all.” He assures you with a gentle smile, his eyes shifting from your hands to your face and back again whilst he tries to come up with a response, “It’s a perfectly normal thing to be curious about, especially considering how often we kiss. To be quite honest, my reasoning is probably what will end up sounding silly to you...”

“I don’t think it will, I just want to understand where your head is at because,” You sigh, looking into his eyes, “sometimes I feel alone in how much I desire you and I thought maybe if I got an idea where your head is at, I could understand why you always stop things before they go too far.”

At this, Yoongi raises his brows, “You think you’re alone in the desire to take me to bed?” He confirms, his voice deepening, a ghost of a smirk on his lips, “And here I thought you were clever...”

With a pout to your lips, you playfully tug your hands out of his grip causing him to chuckle before capturing them once again, “I am clever! Clever people get confused all the time, besides you just said this was a perfectly normal thing to be curious about.”

He laughs still and nods, guiding your hands up to his shoulders, “Yes I did. However, I was referring to you wondering why we haven’t gone to bed together yet, not you wondering whether or not I wanted to take you to bed. That IS silly...”

“It’s not though...” You insist, a shiver running down your spine as he slides his freed hands around your waist, “You always seem so composed. We’ll have been kissing for what feels like forever and then- you stop us. Which is ok of course but, I just don’t fully understand why.”

He hums thoughtfully with a smirk still on his lips as he pulls you closer to him, “My composure is an illusion Y/N. My job requires me to have complete control all of the time, especially in the face of an enemy...”

Scoffing, your pout deepens at the end of his sentence, “Oh so I'm your enemy now? Gee Yoongi, I’m so glad I decided to share this with you- I feel much better now.”

Yoongi laughs heartily at your sarcasm before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “You are an enemy to my composure darling- you are just refusing to realize that.”

His kiss causes your heart to sing with satisfaction, despite the fact that you are trying very hard to focus on pouting.

“Even if that were true...I still feel silly for how much I desire you.”

He quells the playfulness between the two of you then, one of his hands coming up to cup your cheek, “You are not silly, and you are not alone. My entire world has shifted because of you. I think you’d be shocked if you knew how much you occupied my thoughts.” He assures you, placing another kiss on your forehead, “However, that isn’t the answer to your question is it? You’re wondering why we haven’t gone to bed together despite how much we desire each other.”  

“Yes.” You murmur, leaning against his hand, “If you have any insight on this general, please provide a briefing...”

He smirks fondly, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “You really have no idea how much I want you. I don’t think I could possibly explain it. Because of that, I want to wait until I can give you everything I have. Right now I- I simply can’t.” He admits, a bit of sadness now in his tone, “I want to wait until I have a proper villa, until I don’t have to worry about leaving at dawn to continue training, until I can stay underneath the sheets with you, until I can spend hours pleasing you- without the threat of war in the back of my mind. You deserve a man with no distractions, right now- I'm just not that man yet.”

His explanation makes perfect sense and you feel a bit of guilt for ever wondering how he felt about you in the first place but before you’re able to comment on his words, he speaks again.

“But please- please don’t think that means I don’t desire you.” He whispers, smiling softly whilst he places yet another kiss to your forehead. Letting his lips linger there, he sighs hopelessly, “One day, when I am finally free of my duties- I will spend days memorizing your skin with my lips...” He begins kissing his way down the bridge of your nose, puckering his lips gently as he does. He bypasses your lips however and uses his hand to tilt your head to the side, give him access to your neck, “I will memorize every bump,” He kisses your skin, “every curve,” Kiss “every line,” Kiss “every scar,” Kiss “every spot that gives you pleasure.” He inhales softly through his nose when he hears you gasp, your hands tightening on his shoulders, “Will you wait for me darling? Will you wait until I can give you my soul? My heart is already yours, I just need a little bit longer....”

You’re already nodding, certain with your response despite how much his presence is currently affecting you, “I’d wait for you forever, General Min.”

You can feel him grin against your neck, “I only need six months...” He chuckles, his laughter increasing as you playfully smack his back. “Then I’m yours forever.”

At his amendment, you smile and kiss the side of his head, “Forever sounds nice.”

Yoongi sighs, sliding his hands across your back to pull you into his embrace, “Forever it is then.”  

[athenagrantnash]

Gunpowder Milkshake review

There are four elements to a film that, when all are achieved, can elevate a film from “good” to “great”; and any film that can achieve at least two of these elements is certainly a good and enjoyable film.

These elements are (in no particular order)*:

Aesthetic

Cast (charm, likeability, acting skill, etc)

Characters

Writing (story, script, dialogue etc.)

*While all four elements are important, writing is in my opinion the most important of the four.

So does Gunpowder Milkshake achieve all of these elements? Let’s discuss. (not a spoiler free review)

1) Aesthetic

I cannot say enough good things about the aesthetic of this film. The lighting, the camerawork, the set design, the costumes, it is all top notch. There is never a moment where what you are looking at isn’t visually engaging.

One of my favorite elements is how much is said about each character based on their costumes. 

Karen Gillan’s Sam wears an orange jacket for the majority of the film - a jacket she stole because she didn’t like the clothing provided for her. Early in the film it’s established she doesn’t quite know what kind of assassin she is - she is as undefined as her jacket. But there’s a sportsmanship about her, as she won’t kill the three stooges when they aren’t trying to kill her, and she draws the line at ever letting a child be in danger.

Chloe Coleman’s Emily spends the entire movie in a yellow coat - representing the optimism and joy that comes with childhood innocence, an innocence that at the end is marred by the blood red handprint across the back of her coat.

The clothes worn by Angela Bassett’s Anna May, Carla Gugino’s Madeleine, and Michelle Yeoh’s Florence are all very similar, but specific to each character.

Anna May wears dark blue - signifying depth and power - and she has more layers than anybody else - Madeleine has the sweater/jacket, Florence has the vest, and Anna May has both. And just like her clothing, she has layers. You can sense the power and ferocity, and anger that lies rippling just below the surface, only just barely kept in check. 

Florence wears green - signifying serenity - , and her outfit has nothing loose or soft about it. She is exactly as she appears to be - exactly as a tiger stalking its prey appears to be - quiet, contained, serene... deadly. It’s her serenity that keeps Anna May’s ferocity in check, but don’t mistake that for safety.

Madeleine wears pink - signifying kindness - and instead of Florence’s vest or Anna May’s vest/suit jacket combo, she instead wears a soft sweater. She is kind, trusting to her instincts, and protective of Emily. But her kindness is not weakness - just look at her weapon of choice if you disagree.

And while everybody else is wearing bright and/or striking colors, Sam’s orange jacket, Emily’s yellow coat, Anna May’s blue suit, Florence’s green vest, Madeleine’s pink sweater, Scarlet - completely at odds with her name - is wearing colors that are practically nondescript. She has isolated herself from the other Librarians, and that’s shown in a beautifully subtle way through her clothing. And yet, in a further note of subtlety, she is wearing soft oranges, showing her connection to Sam (also in orange) and how that connection is what brings her back from her isolation. Her clothing is loose, but not soft, reflecting a deceptive casualness, which matches her personality perfectly.

I’m not even going to touch on the visual brilliance of the lighting, set design, and camerawork because words literally will not do it justice. You just have to watch and see for yourself.

Additionally, an argument can be made that, since “action” is not its own category, that would fit into this section too - and while it’s literally impossible to top how visually engaging the lighting/set design/camerawork/etc. are, the action is certainly on par with it. The fights are all incredibly fun and creative, and they take advantage of the setting they are placed in, the road blocks or handicaps the characters have to work with, and at no point ever feel stale, repetetive, or boring.

So where does this movie rank in aesthetic? 5/5

2) Cast

There is not a weak link in this entire cast! Karen Gillan, Lena Heady, Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh, Carla Gugino, Paul Giamatti - every single one of these actors has proven time and again how much talent, charm, and onscreen charisma they have. Relative newcomer Chloe Coleman legitimately holds her own, even among such a star-studded cast, and is simultaneously sympathetic, charming, likable, and absolutely adorable.

Even bit players like the three stooges that Sam takes out, Emily’s dad, the doctor, and Jim McAlester play their roles to perfection.

As a side note, am I the only one who was a little bit disappointed that McAlester’s first name was Jim? It would have been hilarious if his first name was Kevin, and then we could have drawn our own conclusions about the criminal turn Kevin McCallister’s life took when he truly embraced his childhood propensity for chaos.

So where does this movie rank in cast? 5/5

3) Characters

This is where the movie starts to falter a little bit. Every single character is likable, but a lot of that can be attributed to how excellent the cast is.

Most of the characters are fairly cookie cutter, and while there is nothing about them that is particularly annoying or stereotypical, none of them have enough depth to truly be “great” characters.

The closest any character has to having any sort of depth or complexity is Nathan, who - while he doesn’t hesitate to send an entire army after Sam - sends her a private message and provides the only help he can.

Not that any of the characters are bad - I think my analysis of the lead lady’s clothing proves my opinions on that pretty conclusively - but they could have been better

Additionally, at just under 2 hours there is barely enough time to develop them properly. Florence in particular could have been much further fleshed out in ways that are not solely inferred through the costume design and acting.

The relationships between Emily and Sam, Sam and Scarlet, Scarlet and Anna May, Sam and Madeleine, Anna May and Madeleine, and Madeleine and Emily are done fairly well. I understood each dynamic and how it worked in the larger story that was unfolding. Florence had none of that - to the point that (if not for the inferred analysis based on clothing) I’m still not entirely sure if she or Anna May was the de facto leader of the librarians. If they had added something - either her legitimately having a moment where she takes charge or (even better) establish a rivalry between Florence and Anna May over who is in charge that would have done a lot, but unfortunately as it stands Florence didn’t get the development that Michelle Yeoh deserved.

So where does this movie rank in characters? 3/5

4) Writing

If the movie started to falter a bit when it came to its characters, it faltered even more when it came to the writing. In fact it’s the writing that can be blamed for the characters not given the development they should have gotten, even if these are two different categories.

And yes, it’s an action film, so technically the plot takes second place to the fisticuffs and gunplay - and while I’m not going to hold the genre against the film, even as an action film the script could have been a lot stronger.

Most importantly, the movie should have been at least thirty minutes longer in order to allow more growth and development for each of the characters. One scene that should have been in the movie was one of Emily while she was captured by McAlister. He should have tried to turn her against Sam, not realizing that the revelation that he had killed her dad had already done that. But Emily is smart, and the more he talks the more she realizes she’s directing her anger at the wrong person. Then when Sam turns herself in so that she’ll be safe it solidifies it for her - Sam might have pulled the trigger, but she’s not the heartless killer that she should be angry at.

And that is just one example of how a longer runtime and a few more rewrites could have given the story and characters a lot more depth.

Now onto the white elephant in the room.

“There’s a group of men called the firm” (yes, I’m going there... somebody has to).

I get what the film was going for, but this is the most perfect example of why it needed one or two more rewrites. 1) If it’s a group of men, why is Sam working for them and why is she recognized as the best at what she does? The movie is trying to imply inherent sexism, but because it felt the need to slam us over the head with that line all subtlety was lost.

Sam could have just called it “a group” and then we the audience would see that while men and women work for them, the ones calling the shots are all men. And then to turn around and show how much more prepared, professional, and competent the Librarians are would make this point in a much more subtle and compelling way. There is a lot more power in using that kind of storytelling than in explicitly telling your point to the audience in so many words. 

However, while most movies that go this route make all their male characters useless or stupid, Gunpowder Milkshake did manage to not do that. Other than the three stooges, which Nathan chose to send after Sam because he didn’t want her killed, therefore by design are supposed to be useless, all of the people that our mains go up against feel like legitimate threats.

And I’m glad, because as a woman I do not like the recent tendency to turn men into useless idiots and then imply that is the only way the women managed to defeat them. I want women going up against men who are at their best, and still win. And this movie did that.

Additionally, I will say that the whole “group of men” thing is a minor quibble on my part, as it doesn’t fall into the pitfalls most other movies who are making this point fall into. But it is unfortunately an example of why the writing could have been much better.

Add in some awkward dialogue that only worked because of how ridiculously charming and likable everybody in the cast is, and we unfortunately have writing that is sub par and does not live up to the standards set by the other three elements. The aesthetic, the cast, and even the characters deserved better writing.

As a side note: Where do these people get their milkshakes that they manage not to melt even after three hours? Because that’s some circa 3000 level galaxy brain and I want it.

So where does this movie rank in its writing? 2/5

Conclusion:

I said at the top that for a movie to be “great” it has to meet all four elements, but to be "good” it only has to meet two, and Gunpowder Milkshake  definitely  meets two of the elements.

Where it begins faltering and falls short of being “great” is in the characters and the writing, which is a shame because the brilliance of the cast and the genuinely engaging and breathtaking aesthetic deserved to be in a movie that can be called great.

I would love a sequel to this movie that does flesh out the relationships better, provide more depth to the characters, and allows for the writing to match the quality of the cast/aesthetic.

So what is my total ranking for this film? 3.5/5

It’s good, and I will definitely watch it again and recommend it to people, but it so easily could have been great.