#just somethign to think about

[sweet-potato-42]

As expected after the forever situation people are bringing up stuff other ccs did in the past. Now we need to ask what can we forgive after someone gives an apology. how much do we think a person can change? Since really if we dont tolerate anything literally like every single cc on qsmp could be cancelled. So where do we draw the line.

Really its subjective and it often comes down to how much people personally like the cc which isnt ideal. Its sad to know its not fair and that the most popular and well liked ccs would be treated far less harshly than some less popular ccs. (like forever was popular but many disliked him still, it would have not been as harsh with cellbit for example)

Do we forgive aypierre if he apologises for what he said. Do we forgive tubbo for making some ignorant comments in the past despite him acknowledging he was wrong. Do we forgive when cellbit did blackface even if he apologised (i think) . Are we going to forgive some ccs like Vegetta who made questionable comments about trans and nonbinary people.

Also to what extent do we allow shit from the past to be forgiven. how far back. how old did the ccs have to be. Do we forgive if they were "stupid teenagers"? Do we forgive if they are from a more ignorant generation? Do we forgive if it was during a time with lots of bigotry?

Also do we need to have some thorough investigation of everything the ccs have said?? Do we leave it for when epople feel like looking into shit?? How far back can we look??

I personally believe to some extent forgiveness must be allowed. Ive seen people and myself change from shit opinions which are 90% of the time from ignorance. So what do we forgive...

[ningadudexx]

saving you from yourself 🫧

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

[hollowedskin]

Genuinely hating the fact that people have to look really closely at art to see whether it's AI or not and like, zooming in and pointing out the little bits that don't match.

Because like, it's really fucking hard for me to calm down on obsessive details and trying to make everything perfect and make sense, to make sure that every lock of hair has an invisible follow line.

I get so bogged down in details that I ruin my art and the only thing that's been able to save me so far is to repeat to myself that no one fucking cares if this doesn't match up perfectly. But they do now. Everyone cares. We are zooming in on artworks and pointing out things that could have just been overlooked as human error.

Machine generated art means I feel like I'm not allowed to have human error any more. I have to be pixel perfect. I can't just vibe. I can't even imply.

And I think about that and become too exhausted to even start.

[fordsprettylabassistant]

how do you guys think Stan being born with the six fingers instead of Ford would've effected the story? No personality changes, just one being born with the "deformity" instead of the other. Would Ford still study the paranormal? Or be as invested in it as he is in canon? If he does, would anything change with Bill? If Stan does get kicked out still, it'd be at least a little harder to run from all the people he runs from.

[sluckythewizard]

BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary

"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.

Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.

One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.

Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.

The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.

Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?

A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.

But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.

As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.

The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.

Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.

"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.

"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.

But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.

"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.

"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."

Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.

"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?

Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...

"Hey, are you okay?"

The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.

"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.

But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?

The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.

The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.

"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"

"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.

The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.

It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.

Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.

Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"

Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.

"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"

"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.

"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.

"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."

"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.

While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.

"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.

The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.

The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.

A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.

That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.

The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.

Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.

It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.

It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.

Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?

The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.

"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.

Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.

Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.

He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.

Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.

A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.

It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.

Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.

Like a mouse to a snake.

This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.

The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?

Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.

His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.

A STARTLING RINGING;

Splits the moment,

Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,

As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.

Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.

"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"

Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.

Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.

"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"

Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.

"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.

Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .

As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.

The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.

"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.

"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."

The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.

"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."

"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.

He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.

[kaisollisto]

[hall0wedwyrm]

Doki Doki Literature Club: A Monika centric Analysis/Retrospective

Monika is definitely one of my favourite characters... well ever and i just wanted to share my love of her on her birthday!

if you're interested, I made a post a while ago talking about Natsuki! To the people who found it again, it made me happy to see the reblogs people left,,, so thank you!!

This post contains major spoilers for Doki Doki Literature Club! This post is also pretty long lol

I love how Monika is set up to stand out against all of the other girls. You can’t see her bottom half on the title screen, but in the promotional art she has black stockings and pink tipped shoes. She extends out a hand, seemingly welcoming us. Monika is the most smartest, popular girl at school, as e by the Protagonist when they meet her. She started the Literature Club after leaving the Debate club when it became boring.

Quickly though, she is immediately singled out. She doesn’t seem to be an option for us to interact with, often being almost forced to choose Sayori, Natsuki or Yuri. Monika also isn’t a choice when we write poems, which is the main way we can choose which of the club members we want to romance. She also acts as a tutorial of sorts, giving us advice on how we might want to write poems, saying generic things that sound right in-universe for her to say about poems and writing and even notices the characters you write for.

This goes off the rails almost immediately.

During day two of officially being in the club, and after Monika shares her second very cryptic poem, Monika gives her writing tip of the day. It starts relatively innocent, saying we might face a difficult decision, but then she says;

“When that happens, don’t forget to save your game!”

This is dialogue is the first openly fourth-wall breaking thing in this game. Monika directly referencing game mechanics, when no one else has before. It makes it even more jarring when she says;

“Wait… is this tip even about writing? What am I even talking about?”

She laughs it off, but this really stood out as completely bizarre. I’d say this is the start of her openly breaking the fourth wall. On several occasions, she says things that seem out of the blue, and that is clearly something only we are meant to understand as the player. The most obvious is when Natsuki makes a joke about how Monika’s name can be a pun (”It’s right in your name! Mon-ika!”), Monika says that that isn’t how you say her name, adding on, “Also, that joke makes no sense in translation!” which makes Natsuki confused and she brushes it off. Interestingly, after this exchange is when we first get hints of Sayori’s ‘rain clouds’, which shows how early on Monika was messing with her and also when Monika speaks to Sayori for the Protag.

(“I can’t say I’ve noticed anything about her…” Monika when i GET YOU WHEN I GET WHEN I GET Y-) (and then she insinuates that Sayori is interested in us OUUGH WHEN I GET YOUUUU)

Day Three and sharing poems with Monika and she comments on how close the protag and Sayori are becoming… to which she says:

“It would be terrible if something bad happened to her, so keep an eye on her.”

To which I say… oh my GOD. OH MY GOD??? you’re joking. you are JOKING??? ahem. anyway. Another important piece of dialogue she says is when the protag says that all the things the club members write about are sad and Monika says that if everything was okay, they wouldn’t have anything to write about commenting, “Humans aren’t two-dimensional creatures… I think you’d know that better than anyone.” The protagonist corrects her (”Don’t you mean one-dimensional?”) and she once again laughs it off, but this is a flex of her awareness of something more than the world she is in. This is one of her many many comments that aren’t directed at our character, but to us specifically.

Quickly going to point out another one of my absolute favourite details about Monika here... and its just going to be this picture:

yeah. oh yeah...

“Stagnating air is common forshadowing that something terrible is about to happen…” Yuri says.

“I talked to her earlier and everything is fine.” “What did she say?” “Anyway we need to figure out the rest of the festival preperations so-”

Monika also tries to get us to help her for the weekend, despite the fact that she’s going to be getting help from Sayori, and this is pointed out by both Natsuki and Yuri, until she’s basically guilted into letting us choose between the two of them. This reflects (a much more tame version) of the same situation from Act 2.

The day we meet up with Natsuki/Yuri, there is very clever foreshadowing that I don’t think anyone really talks about. When we go to meet up with Sayori to make sure she’s okay after yesterday, the atmosphere is tense. There is no music, and it becomes very ominous, especially with the limited assets used in the game (Sayori’s house doesn’t have assets other than her room, so the black screen is unsettling). Sayori is in her room, and she finally opens up about her depression and expresses how its been very difficult for her.

After meeting our chosen Doki, she catches us, and says that she couldn’t stop thinking about what might have been happening and had to come and see for herself. She blurts out that she wishes she could disappear and stop being so selfish. She makes the very concerning comment, “Monika was right… I should just..” The protagonist is rightfully very confused as to why she mentioned Monika. This links back to when Monika offered to speak with her. Whatever she said… it wasn’t good at all.

This is also where we get to confess to her, with the options of “You will always be my dearest friend.” or “I love you.”

As Susie Deltarune once said, ‘Your choices don’t matter’.

I wanted to also mention I was rewatching some clips and reations to this part and GTLive does a very good playthrough. Mat and Steph are very very uncomfortable the entire time (like through the whole game). After Sayori's death, they're sort of collecting their thoughts and Stephanie points out that Monika knew what had happened to Sayori:

“No.. no no. Do you remember, when we were in the classroom just now… when we were talking to Monika? She knew- She knew what happened. She knew everything that happened with Sayori. She knew.” “Because she said- you left her hanging.” “That’s tacky… that’s gross.”

(Mat is just sat in his own discomfort and is just completely silent in processing what the hell just happened) They both agree that you have the chance to get surprisingly attached to Sayori, and it made her death hurt even more.

When the game resets, Sayori is gone, and Monika is on her bullshit full force. She completely devolves into being very pushy and also incredibly insensitive at times. Natsuki becomes aggressive, and Yuri is incredibly possessive of us and thrives on spending time with us. Her behaviour gets worse and worse as it goes on, also resulting in her death too. It's also worth pointing out how the Protagonist has less and less dialogue in Act 2, in reference to how its becoming less about him and more about us, the player.

Monika becomes incredibly detatched from the girls. Unlike in Act 1 where she tries to reason with them and work things out with words, she now truly sees them as only obstacles and lines of code that she has to bypass to get to us. There are elements of her trying to play along and be nice, but she ultimately gives up on it all together by the end of about day 3. She takes advantage of the times she gets to speak to us alone, all of them becoming very meta and unsettling since she’s talking to us, not our character. Everything she does from now on is to achieve our full attention. She can't completely break the game, that would mean destroying the platform in which she can see and communicate with us, but she needs to find ways to get the other girls gone.

Throughout Act 2, Monika is pushing for us to spend time with her, but is always thwarted by Yuri dragging us away. She takes us outside while Yuri and Natsuki fight, and she interrupts Yuri’s first attempt at a confession by literally blocking Yuri's dialogue box and forcing her to stop talking and giving her confession.

One of my favourite act 2 moments is at the end of day 3, Monika finally gets a chance to talk to us, (saying “sometimes it feels like you and I are the only real people here.”) and as she does so, the screen fades away into the poem creation screen. Even when Monika thinks she is in control, she is fighting against the base programming of the game that she can’t alter, as stated previously

After Yuri’s death, Act 2 ends with the next Monday and the day of the festival. I watched Xander’s Cut do an excellent job of recap of the disturbing nature of DDLC, and they cleverly pointed out how Natsuki had a very normal-person reaction to seeing a dead person (literally throwing up and running away), and Monika literally says; “Ahahaha! Well, that’s a shame.” She proceeds to completely disregard the fourth wall, and says that the script is way too broken. She deletes Natsuki and Yuri, takes the chance to eat one of Natsuki’s cupcakes (oh my god it's so messed up she's SO SICK SOMETIMES-)

With another reset, its us and Monika alone in the clubroom.

Just Monika.

During her opening monologue, Monika basically tells us how to access the files and how easy it was to delete the other girls. She says she’s not very good at changing the game, but it was surprisingly easy to access the game files (unless she detects you using Steam, where she kindly explains how to reach the directory). A poem for each other later, and some more words of being able to spend eternity together later, Monika begins her absolutely massive talk. I’m pretty sure she has over 50 dialogue options that she can choose from (everyone should also watch TechRules cover DDLC its super interesting), and it's truly designed to go on forever... or at least a very long time anyway.

After writing this, I learnt about the option where she talks about Yuri bringing a little bottle of wine into the club and it just makes me sob knowing that even at that point she was remincising about her friends and the times they spent together. I think theres another dialogue box where she questions why she's even talking about them and tries to assure herself that they aren't real and they don't matter anymore. This already shows Monika's regret we learn about later.

Monika talks about a lot of things, some very realistic and wise… and the others being her explaining Sayori’s death in waaaay too much detail. It still makes me feel disgusting to this day (GTLive also got this dialogue and Mat was like “I am not reading this. I can’t read this.”), but a lot of what she says makes her feel like she’s a real person and sharing all her opinions is very interesting.

Now… FINALLY. Monika's deletion.

Her omnipotence is her downfall. It made her insensitive, and when she is deleted, she’s given a taste of her own medicine. She blames us for everything that happens, she calls us sick and horrible, telling us to go mess with someone else.

But… she comes back. She says she still loves us, and that she’s the one who ruined the world. She confesses that she couldn’t truly bring herself to delete the others. Monika believes that if she can bring back the club without her, then everyone can be happy.

I really like this redemption of sorts. Even in act 2, when she was trying everything to win us over, she still reacted to the others like they were people. This is most apparent when she told Yuri that she makes for a wonderful vice president, and a great friend. When she tries to get more members to join, she really does want the best for the club, but with the changes to Natsuki and Yuri she gives up.

When beginning act 4, everything seems to be back to normal, except now Monika is completely gone. She continues to blame herself when you try and add her back into the game. She cares so much about the others that she just wants them to be happy, even if it means without her. It's very selfless of her to do so, but is also her acknowledging that what she knows is the things she knows are harmful for everyone.

She assumes she's the one with the knowledge, but really its whoever is in charge. The Club President.

Sayori gains Monika's omnipotence and she wants us for herself now. Monika steps in, and decides that its not worth keeping the Literature Club if this power is just going to keep being passed around.

She says goodbye to Sayori, Goodbye to us, and Goodbye to the Literature Club. This ending on its own is already bittersweet, but Monika comes back one last time, and sings the song she had been working on all this time.

Your Reality is about Monika's journey. It sums up everything she questioned and learnt throughout the game. Ending with her final decision:

"And if I don't know how to love you... I'll leave you be."

She lets us go, and gives us her final message:

man.

Monika's character is very special to me. She's an incredibly complex character for someone who is intentionally pushed aside in the coding, but so badly wants to have her own happy ending. If the other girls can have one, why can't she? All that she does it to get to us, but she eventually realises that her friends are more important than any of this, and how she misses them dearly. We get to see more of their relationships in DDLC+, and how they all got along once. Her story was (and still really is) something so unique to me, and it captivated me so strongly that I haven't really stopped thinking about it for all these years. She's truly something wonderful, and here's to one day seeing her again!

And of course,

Happy birthday Monika!!

[unopenablebox]

🌸 is so immensely likeable.... do you ever just like someone so much all the time

[todayisafridaynight]

people passing around that new LaD screenshot trying to figure out who's who and im so sorry but the lil figure in blue just makes me think of maria robotnik

[thirdtimed]

unfortunately if i ever developed the lifeseries orv au in my head in earnest i would in no capacity whatsoever manage to be normal about it at all and like. i mean it

[lycan-mutt]

bought this blueberry soda and on the label it just says BLUE BERRY SODA and all i can think of is. well. you should know. its so evocative of it. you know.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Yeah I know DBK

Dad Bull King, right?

[skydigiblogs]

oughhh i was plagued by ghost game related thoughts today. this is messy and disorganized and a lot so don't mind me gbdsfhgbdjfg

it's been like half a year or so since i finished watching it so this is mostly unprompted and like

i do kind of wonder what would have happened with ghost game if instead of a bigger focus on purely pick up and go scooby doo shit, they were willing to tell an overarching story with the elements they had

i think i enjoyed it so much if only because it gave us something we hadn't seen much of to that point (that i'm now realizing is one of those things appmon heavily inspired in GG), that being digimon affecting technology in complex ways

(that's to say, not just bricking computers like giant magnets or making binary flash on the screen to ominous messages like makuramon does in tamers)

but like also digimon having more interactions with humans in general? just kind of hanging out and living in the human world? yeah the field exists and digimon can bworp in and out of being visible to humans without VBs, but they also live in a setting where they can mostly get away with just going "no yeah i'm just a very advanced hologram, dw about it :)"

i also refuse to get over the fact that gammamon is like, canonically plural, and i really wish we had more time with gulus after the finale ep reveals about him and the GRB shit.

also, i do wonder if maybe the series shot itself in the foot by not knowing what it wanted to do, plot wise? it gave us expectations in the first episode as an audience--- suggesting big and strange things to be delivered, and didn't seem to know how to really deliver on them while also trying to be that variety of scooby doo shit that doesn't have to have a throughline plot (aka, setting up a mystery inc style story when it's got a stated goal to be more like the original series)

i was still using reddit at the time GG started, and i remember a lot of people really wanting to hype it up as "the next tamers," especially after they saw the tone and structure of the first episode. in general, i wonder if high expectations put more scrutiny on GG than it might have otherwise gotten.

(this of course isn't to say that there's criticism to be had for GG. i mean i just said i personally have beef with its lack of narrative commitment. i'm just wondering if maybe some people got a little too excited to see a series that met the lofty nostalgia of something like tamers.)

anyways, idk, there's not really anywhere i'm going with this one, i just had some idle thoughts at work today about this series.

go read the gray matter ghost game fancomic or something (no i really have no clue why ghost game is on my mind, really)

[gothamcityneedsme]

something that's getting me. people, looking at work others produce (regardless of if that work is provided for free or for some compensation, ie not you directly paying for it but the creator receiving ad revenue and such). is just being very... heartless about it? not thinking about the process, demanding constant improvement and see it as a failure when there isn't improvement, someone cannot call themselves and artist if they do not proceed, they are failed if they do not produce in a way that is more consumable or deemed more respectable.

[made-nondescript]

what if fwhip gives jimmy's home away from home to someone else. there are lots of people without homes, now, with all the hermits bumping around. he could use the extra space. just a temporary room for tango, maybe. would he be able to do it. or is it still jimmys no matter what. even if he never stays there. even if he never steps foot in gobland again. fwhip's way of saying he always has a home somewhere. warm and waiting for when he needs it.