#just switch high standards with low standards and you have me

[professionalpinterestwhore]

[hotheadedhero]

i am absolutely in love with your writing style and i see requests are open hehehehe

perhaps a rise!donnie with a gn reader that is “high intelligence low wisdom”? like, theyre smart and all and can understand a lot of his work, but they next moment they do something absolutely idiotic?

anyway thanks for considering <3

AN: If I've got the right idea then oh, ohoho, I think I can do this. Kinda describes me as a person 😅 And thank you!! I'm glad you enjoy the spoils of my crazy brain <3

A Dichotomy in Donnie's Dearest

Donatello x Reader

Donatello has a field day with you. Finding another entity as smart as him is unfounded but you're an enigma altogether. You're not necessarily the next Einstein, but your ability to fathom even half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is impressive. Some nights, you'll both have conversations about biomechanics, nuclear chemistry, or anything that weasels its way into the mix. It isn't uncommon for you two to stay up until the break of dawn when you get caught up in such exchanges. In fact, your propensity for science drew him towards you in the first place. You make quite a pair, like how a covalent bond is a formation of electrons shared between two atoms.

Although, he supposes that if that is the attractive force in this analogy, your disposition for thick-witted conduct is the repulsive force. The difference between your divine intellect and your misshapen ability to function in society is an astounding, if not worrying prospect. It's as though you completely forgot yourself and he can only speculate how.

Initially, he chalked it up to a faulty memory: forgetting to switch the socket on when you plug your laptop in, not realising your phone is in your hand whilst it's 'lost', completely losing your train of thought mid-conversation. Standard, everyday predicaments that aren't unfounded amongst the greater world.

That assumption was quickly abandoned when he took closer note of some things that come out of your mouth - certain "theories" of yours that he hopes are funny thoughts and nothing more.

"Do you reckon tissues get their name from the fact that when we sneeze, we say, a-tissue?" you ask him.

You can't be serious, surely. Perhaps it was merely a bad attempt at a pun. If so, he'll have to limit your spending time with his oh-so-dear brother, Leonardo. It's bad enough having one person galivanting around thinking they're funny, let alone two.

He can't even begin to form a base for what you've just asked him, and instead replies so, "Life is too short for me to answer such questions."

It doesn't end there. He wishes he could say it does but it doesn't.

"I just figured out why a peanut is called a peanut!" The unparalleled excitement in your voice is enough to shock him out of his mortal body but the content source of your jovial commotion is mind-boggling and not in a good way. When he does nothing other than stare, you continue, "They're like peas in a pod but the nut version!"

"A dazzling deduction, my love," he remarks tiredly, wondering how you're the same person he discusses string theory with. "The limits of your knowledge truly know no bounds."

He's just glad Aristotle isn't around to see this side of humanity. It isn't limited to what you say, either. Worst of all, it's the things you do. Such as, when you try to eat something despite the fact it's just come out of the oven. Bonus 'dumb-dumb' points if you try to take food out of the oven without gloves. To put it simply, he doesn't trust you in the kitchen - a caution further validated when you rubbed your eyes after cutting jalapeno peppers once. You have been effectively banned.

He's lost count of how many times you've elbowed your own hip whilst rolling over in bed, or the many instances you've attempted to pull a push door and vice versa. That isn't even taking into account the countless times you have visited the lair without waterproof clothing, despite how long you've been coming down. Let's just say that the already long list is seemingly never-ending.

His frequent sighs of annoyance never offend you. If anything, it makes you laugh that much more when he appears physically pained by your antics. It's as though you enjoy his suffering. From your perspective, there's no harm in the odd hiccup here and there. You're merely enjoying life for what it is and know when to have a giggle at yourself.

Donnie believes himself to be a prodigy and he is! He can solve most if not all conundrums thrust his way but you - you - are the one he can't figure out. Yet, no matter how many times you engage in these idiotic behaviours, he still loves you. Besides, thinking any less of you would be a stupefying case of hypocrisy if he weren't to acknowledge his own blunders. Granted, his mistakes are often in the name of science but you are truly a match made in imbecilically astute Elysium.

AN: Btw, the things about the tissues, peanuts, and elbowing hips? Real stuff from me. Idk how I function

[outisgivingpac]

PAC: Little things you can do to improve your everyday life

Because there are days when simply existing feels like an extreme sport, this PAC shall give you some mundane advice to make your day a little bit easier 🌱☔✨

Check out my pinned post for my masterlist and personal readings ❤️

🐸Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐸

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Pentacles reversed, the Empress reversed, The High Priestess

Dear Pile 1, there're a lot to unpack here so I hope you would stay with me till the end. Firstly, I can feel your fatigue streaming through, as it seems like you're buried under all kind of house chores and errands. What you can really use right now is a helping hand, not just someone who would nod sympathically to your struggle. Many of you could just be living alone, but some might share the place with someone who have different living standards as yourself. Either case, you could cut yourself some slack by asking for help, or simply letting others help you. On a side note, you might not have been eating properly as of late. Either you eat too little, or only fuel yourself with the kind of food that has little nutritional value. Though, it appears you're fully aware of all these problems, and just have to listen to your body more. You know better than anyone when you need to take a break, when to take a sip of water, or what you crave. So, yes, you should trust yourself on that as often as possible, rather than deeming it evil whisper your inner goblin lol

Pile 2: 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands

As it seems, people of this pile need a lot of activities and/or stimulations during a day to feel good in general. At the same time, idleness will weight you down like a plague. Without busying yourself with something that can be considered productive throughout the day, you tend to spiral hard in your head and become restless at night. This is often the case on those days when you don't have to go out for school or work. Aren't you a workaholic high-achiever with reasonable expectations for anyone but yourself? You're much encouraged to not take your day-off for granted, spending it worrying about work. Maybe you can pick up a hobby like handcraft (f.e. knitting, origami ect.), playing an instrument or engaging in certain outdoor sports. I know it could be much when you're low on energy, so it's important to find out something you truly enjoy to keep you (or your mind) active (maybe something you can do even when lying on bed?). The progress you make with your personal project will keep you in a more positive mindset. Lastly, some of you totally should keep your daily caffeine intake in check 👀

Pile 3: 7 of Pentacles reversed, 2 of Cups, Temperance

For Pile 3, I can tell you guys are goal-oriented people, who could get impatient when your effort are not met with immediate results. The lack of progress or productivity, whether it comes from your side or other party, could frustrate you greatly and taint your day in a sullen mood. To make your life a little bit easier, it's important to turn a mental switch when you're off work. Set your priority and boundary clear, knowing that you have tried to do the most you can with the cards you're served. There's always another day to continue or try again. Besides, if you have the "all or nothing" mentality, having compromises and taking the middle road will cut you some slack. As the world is not black or white, and it's completely normal to have inconsistency in your energy level. If you have a significant other, a close friend or family member, spending quality time with them is like swallowing a health potion. Oftentimes, they act like your personally cheerleader, hyping you up and helping you feel like your effort is seen, waaayyy before it is recognized by practical results. But hey, you can start giving it to yourself, too! Start to talk about/to yourself more kindly, like you would for someone you love.

[homestuckreplay]

kill them with bladekindness

(page 575-586)

9/3/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: It’s The Background Texture

9/4/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: Dave Should Pester John About This

Not much actually happens in these pages, just picking things up and putting them down, so I re-read all Dave’s POV sections so far to experience his uninterrupted slow descent into puppet madness. And it was actually very enlightening and is probably a good way of re-reading for character development/analysis now that character switches are happening so regularly.

But today I was just trying to figure out how the fuck hash map works.

Dave brags to John a couple times about being a super hardcore genius sylladex user, and he’s exaggerating, but not totally lying. As well as already having his strife specibus allocated, on p.576 he does a smooth box catch after seeing the fireworks ejected out the corner of his eye, and on p.579 he shows off by intentionally ejecting and then dodging about ten shurikens. Even though there’s way easier ways he could have accomplished that – such as GENTLY GATHERING (5) the shurikens to free up card 5, then taking the box.

Except, it makes sense if we assume Dave is practicing. In the past we’ve seen Dave mess with his sylladex in his room and in the bathroom, but this is the first time he’s used it in the public areas of the house – and with the Dude Dodge and demonstrations of using different words for the same item and dealing with collisions, it’s almost like he’s putting on a performance. On p.386, he tells John: ‘you should look into weaponizing your sylladex. my bro is always getting on my case about it but man its not as easy as it sounds.’

We’ve now learned that Dave’s bro stocks the kitchen with weapons, which could be there specifically for sylladex practice. Dave’s bro, who it’s been implied also uses hash map, could have been practicing the shuriken-dodge maneuver for years, to use if he ever gets into a real fight. (Or is there a league? Is sylladex usage a sport and Dave’s bro is like a former high school football player who’s trying to train up a younger family member to relive their glory days)?

These kitchen violence pages pair well with Dave reading the Midnight Crew on p.329-331. ‘A familiar feeling stirs. That feeling is overwhelming, soul-blackening rage. It's the sort of rage that'll make a man feel totally justified in sporting an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades’ is a line referring to Spades Slick, but Dave lives with a man who sports an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades, so I wonder what soul-blackening rage Bro is feeling and why. It makes me think about how a hyperviolent character in a piece of media can be very fun and likeable, but that same trait in a real person, especially one you live with, is terrifying, and certainly gets different reactions from Dave.

Page 585 shows some different options for hash map point scoring, and I wonder which is most user friendly. Scrabble points is fun, but only helpful if you’ve memorized the Scrabble score system. 2-point consonants and 1-point vowels, which Dave has been using, is pretty easy to calculate numbers for, but certain cards seem like they come up a lot more than others. A short, 3-5 letter word will probably occupy cards 5 through 9, and it gets harder to fill up those low numbered cards when calculating in a hurry. The system where A=1, B=2, C=3, etc, probably solves that issue, but involves working with much bigger numbers, which (if playing TTRPGs has taught me anything) lots of people struggle with. A good hash map needs to be easy to calculate and leave items naturally well distributed among cards.

The most effective hash map, I think, wouldn't depend on function but would have a standard set of 20-30 items that you regularly captchalogue and know the values for, along with ways of retrieving them. So when leaving the house, I could have my KEYS in card 6 and use them to OPEN the front door, plus my WALLET in card 0 to EXCHANGE MONEY for goods and services, but when I go home I can switch them out for a BAKING TRAY (6) that I could use to COOK dinner, and a LAPTOP (0) to easily BROWSE the internet. (If I wanted to leave the house with my laptop, I could captchalogue it as a PORTABLE DEVICE (2) for SURFING THE WEB). Getting to know these items really well, and the ways they might be used as weapons, would probably be way easier than just figuring it out as you go.

Of course, when losing a sylladex battle, you can just hit that eject button for a near guaranteed win. It’s possible this counts as a forfeit or is just bad conduct, but with a sylladex full of shurikens it might just be worth it. ‘detect collisions,’ in this context, feels like using training wheels on a bike or those railings over the bowling lane gutters. You should do it to learn, but some assholes will look down on it, and it’s totally not allowed in competitions.

I also noted on this reread how it’s very common for Dave to have the tiny flashing exclamation point above his head when he gets a sudden shock. This might have happened once or twice with John or Rose, I’d need to reread more to check, but it’s definitely a lot more common with Dave. He could be easily startled, it could be an artistic way of showing his emotion when he wouldn’t show it on his face like other characters do, or this could be where Dave stores his unused exclamation points that he’s too cool to put in chat messages.

Finally. I love the bit on p.581 when the picture of Sweet Bro or Hella Jeff gets knocked off the fridge and slowly floats to the floor.

[catboybiologist]

ur dad is bzzt wrongo and 1 year is not a lot of HRT time. have some patience

(and increase the dose if necessary, remember that endocrinologists lie to you about the right dosage)

So yeah, I know 1 year is nothing in the whole grand scheme of things. The only reason that became a goal is because it works out very well with my plan for this year, and cleanly fits into my personal life as a point to come out and socially transition. I guess I got it in my head that socially transitioning will be easier if I pass. I don't think it matters much, though. Most of all, boymoding is just killing me, and dysphoria does too.

I know I'll never "fully" pass, and will always be clockable, but you can still be clocky while registering as femme overall. I'm okay with that long term.

My big, BIG hope is that I'll be able to go at least partially stealth by the time I graduate from my PhD and move locations, resetting the people around me. That'll be sometime between 2027 and 2029 most likely, 4-6 years on HRT. That's the big one.

As for doses, my gender care nurse has actively encouraged me to fuck around with doses, and treats her role mostly as an advisor and the person who writes prescriptions. She writes me basically whatever prescription I want, and now that I'm on injections, I'm fucking around a lot with doses. Also I'm kind of responding to the "diy is literally better" person in my inbox, cuz my provider is awesome and straight up encourages me to experiment and understand how to diy if I want to.

After a while on 6mg/day sublingual, I switched to injections. My initial prescribed injection dose was 4mg/week EV, which, based on the transfemme HRT simulator (I know, I know, I don't like it, it gives only vauge approximations and shouldn't be taken as a rule, but its good to think about the ballpark sometimes) should have put me at ~200pg/mL at midpoint, when I was last measured, and ~100pg/mL or higher at trough. Instead, I was at ~120 at midpoint.

In response, my provider said that I could experiment if I was willing to put myself through it. I said yes. I went from 4mg/week to an 8mg injection. That is way over any standard SubQ EV dose. I physically felt it being too high, and I had a few side effects at peak (headache, irritability, cramps, bloat, and stomach problems), so I went down to 7mg, which seems to be fine. I'm going to go down to 6, which is where my provider probably said I'm at, because I know my baseline is increasing at the same time, and I'll be tested again next week. If 6 turns out too low, I'll bump back up to 7 and probably stay there.

I think my body has a weird aversion to hormones of any kind. My T tanked almost instantly, even on low dose sublingual monotherapy, but I've struggled to raise my E even with that. Maybe I just have a very vigilant liver, or shit, I also could be intersex. Whatever it is, my dosages are something I'm very aware of and experimenting with.

[super-ion]

Valiant

(Original post, Chapter 1)

Chapter 2

"Ellie!"

I blink awake. It's dark, the lighting hasn't switched over to morning mode yet and the sky is still black through the warehouse skylights. In fact, the only light is the gentle blue-white from Val's core. The indicator lights from the diagnostic equipment I have set up are completely dark.

I feel a spike of panic. A black out could mean any number of things, from benign to literal end of the world.

"What's going on?" I ask, fighting my grogginess. "What time is it?"

"I have lost external network connection. My internal clock indicates that it is 2:36:74," she says. Her voice is tinny and distant, likely the embedded speaker that I've managed to patch up.

"Ellie, I am sorry," she says. Her tone is distressed and contrite. She continues in a rush, "local wildlife nested amidst the network antenna and I attempted to relocate the nest. However in the process, I have accidently shorted the main high power bus with my drone peripheral."

Ah. That explains that. She probably tripped the main breaker. It's a terrible design and I've been meaning to add some resiliency, but that keeps getting out prioritized.

"Ellie, I am sorry," she repeats. "I have committed a mistake and I have inconvenienced you."

What?

Oh…

She's having the equivalent of a panic attack. She is a hyper intelligent AI core designed for fleet coordination and battle modeling, where failure to follow orders and standard operating procedure costs lives. This comes with a lot of built in anxiety. I understand that modern starships are less prone to such things, but when she was commissioned, the goal was to produce many warships very quickly. They were ultimately meant to be disposable, which led to some programming shortcuts.

"Hey," I say softly. "Are you okay? That's all I care about right now."

I roll out of my hammock and press my body against the surface of her core so that she can feel the plasmic discharge induced by my contact.

"I am well," she replies, her voice still small and panicked. "My core is isolated from main power. I can provide full diagnostics if you desire."

"No, that's okay. I'm glad you're alright. Should we see what we can do to take care of this?"

"Yes, please…"

She pauses.

"I do not like being disconnected. I… do not like the dark."

My heart breaks a little. Eighty-seven years, that's how long she was alone before I found her. An AI like hers can enter low power mode, but that is still an unfathomably long time. Units like her were never meant to be alone.

I reluctantly disengage from her core.

"I have to go outside," I tell her. She knows this, but I'm hoping it helps to talk through the process. "I'm going to get the headset working, so I'll be able to stay in contact, okay?"

"Thank you"

I pat the surface of her core gently before checking the rf transmitter I rigged up at her access port. It's short range, but it runs on her internal power. We used it a lot before I got her connected to internal and external networks, pretty much for this exact purpose, so I could talk to her without being right next to the core.

Connection looks good. I slip on the ear piece.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you Ellie," she replies.

Her voice through the earpiece is warm and smooth, even under the panic. It's her chosen choice and… well, it makes me feel… okay, I'll just say it, it's a very sexy voice. The speaker mounted on the access panel doesn't really convey the full timbre of it. Needless to say, I was blown away the first time I heard it in high fidelity.

I think I might be in love with her.

There's a lot to unpack there, but there's no point in denying that the feelings exist.

I throw on a sweater and a spare pair of boots and make my way up the scaffolding that leads to roof access. About halfway there, I pause for a moment to catch my breath. I chance a look down and my breath is stolen from me.

This room, this entire building, is a warehouse built for a machine of war to be abandoned and forgotten.

It's a squat for a scavenger trying to eke out an existence on the fringes.

"You're beautiful," I whisper.

It is a cathedral. It is a temple built for a goddess and her priestess.

Here in the dark, lit only by the radiation of her core, the space seems infinite.

Her core flickers in response, but she doesn't say anything. She might be embarrassed. She might never have heard those words before and doesn't know how to respond. She doesn't need to. I don't know if she feels the same about me. I'm not even sure if I should want her to. I would hate for her to feel obligated to return my affection solely by the fact that I am the only one who cares enough to repair her. I started this project because I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering alone in darkness, any romantic feelings I have are incidental... mostly.

I continue my scent and finally arrive at the roof access. The door opens with a squeal and I step into the frigid night.

"Oh!" I gasp.

"Ellie?" Val asks in my ear after a moment, worry creeping into her voice. "Are you well?"

"Oh, sorry…" I reply. "It's the stars. The high altitude haze from that dust storm last week has finally cleared. It's… spectacular."

There's a pause.

"Would you describe them for me?" she asks plaintively.

"Uh, sure… but I'm not sure if I can do it justice. Well, there's the glow from the industrial district, but it's not too bad tonight. We've got the arc of the Milky Way pretty much directly overhead. And there's like the fuzzy haze of the planetary disk. Looks like one of the ice giants too. And… well, stars. Thousands of them, just crystal clear."

I locate the main antenna and, sure enough, the drone is tangled up with the main power lines. It looks like there might have been some thin insulation that arced. The spidery drone itself might be salvageable. It is clutching an unfortunately empty nest in its manipulators, whatever wildlife must have fled when she disturbed it. The drone's head is tilted curiously back in a way that I don't think it's fully explainable by arcing.

"Wait, were you out here stargazing?

"The ocular system on the drone peripheral lacks the resolution and focal length to resolve individual stars."

It's not an answer and she sounds very vaguely guilty.

"It's alright if you were," I tell her as I bend down to examine the power conduits. "And I can see if I can get you a better camera system up here. Maybe something telescopic."

"I would not want to inconvenience you," she replies.

"Val, you're allowed to want things," I sigh.

She's quiet for a long moment while I move the drone and begin repairs on the power conduit.

"I miss the stars," she says finally. "There are many things I wish to forget about my past. Being alone amidst the stars was one of my few comforts."

I consider this. It's the most she's ever told me about her past. I've seen the diagnostic logs of her positronic activity indicating distress. Her equivalent of nightmares.

"You know any good stories about them?" I ask.

"I do not understand the nature of your query."

"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "I guess I'm just curious if you have any favorites or if you have any interesting facts in your database.

I'm not really sure how I expect her to respond. I just want to get her talking and not dwell on being trapped in the dark or feeling guilty about causing it.

"There is a star," she begins tentatively, "which according to local charts and my estimate of local time, should be located at azimuth 146.7, elevation 25.4. It is the brightest star in the southern sky, do you see it?"

I'm honestly surprised by this, and it takes me a minute to orient myself and find it.

"Yeah, the bright blue one?"

"Yes!" she replies, and as she speaks she gets more animated - her tone brightens and her cadence picks up. "Epsilon Orionis, Hipparcos 26311, also known as Alnilam. It is the central star of the asterism as viewed from Earth known as Orion's belt. It is among the brightest stars visible from this region of space. During first wave colonization, it was erroneously back translated to Al-Nilam, the Sapphire. Local neo-folkloric tradition associates it with either a maiden or queen…"

She continues on like that, and I find myself absolutely fascinated as I work. The detail is very encyclopedic, but there are aspects of it that she can't possibly have obtained from just a star chart. I quickly come to the realization that she must have sought out details about the folklore and mythology on her own.

This was a hobby of hers. There's no question in my mind now that I have to obtain a better system to facilitate her stargazing.

I finish the patch job on the conduit and heft the drone over my shoulder while she continues. I only interrupt her when I arrive back at the high power breaker.

The night lighting comes back up and she practically sighs with relief as she reconnects with the external network. I wearily drag myself back to my hammock.

"Ellie, I'm sorry to have woken you and taken up so much of your time," she says.

I sigh and press my hand to the surface of her core.

"It's okay, really," I tell her. "I'm here for you."

"Thank you for listening to me," she says, bringing a smile to my face.

"Goodnight, Val."

"Goodnight, Ellie."

I almost say "I love you". I want to.

[star-going-supernova]

Got an idea and I'm interested in seeing what you do with a prompt like this.

FNAF SB is definitely future time, so the digital world implants are actually more common than just private Fazbear Tech. So Gregory already has his own chip (that he uses to play games on mostly) when he gets stuck in the Pizzaplex, and being the little gremlin he is, he hacked it to allow him access to V.A.N.N.I. network and all the shenanigans he can do with it without needing a full mask.

This is a sci-fi sort of AU where implants just exist and are pretty common, and they have a variety of uses, one of which includes using similar “short cuts” as seen through the mask in Ruin. 

The Tormenting of Moon

Moon growled and lunged for Gregory for the fifth time in as many minutes, but Gregory only laughed and, from Moon’s perspective, passed straight through a section of netting on the play structure. Safe on the other side, Gregory cried, “Too slow again!” 

He took off into the twisting halls of colorful plastic and foam, delighting in Moon’s howl of frustration. 

“How are you doing that?” Moon shouted with his raspy, glitchy voice. 

“It’s not my fault if you can’t figure it out!” 

To be fair to Moon, Gregory having an implant wouldn’t be anyone’s first thought. Legally speaking, a person had to be sixteen or older to have a permanent one surgically grafted to their brain stem. And the removable types for anyone younger or those who didn’t want an internal chip were usually in the form of glasses, masks, and visors—none of which Gregory had. 

So, to Gregory, Moon wasn’t an idiot for not catching on. But he was maybe a bit naive and unobservant. The scar on the back of Gregory’s neck wasn’t exactly subtle and neat and professionally done—rather, it was raised and jagged and far bigger than a real doctor would ever make for a chip placement. 

But hey, there was a black market for everything, even if you were only twelve years old. And implants were too handy for Gregory not to make use of.

Switching his perception back and forth between Standard and Network, Gregory wove through the play structure, always keeping well ahead of Moon’s grasping fingers. He’d always enjoyed a challenge, and this was pretty low-stakes for a chase. Like a slightly more intense game of tag. This wasn’t dangerous; it was fun. 

“Missed me, missed me!” he crowed, diving into the opening of a slide. He took the curves at high speed and shot out into the ball pit. Gregory quickly wormed his way to the bottom of the pit and did his best to slither along without making too much of a racket. With his implant, and the upgrades he helped himself to early on in the night, he tapped into the security cameras in the daycare. 

The night vision mode worked perfectly. He switched between views a few times before finding Moon. The animatronic was stalking back and forth along the edge of the ball pit, looking not unlike a cat who had lost its prey. He half expected Moon to dive headfirst into the pit like a fox into snow. 

Deeming himself far enough away from his pursuer, he carefully slinked up to the surface, only just barely poking out. The darkness provided helpful cover, and the obnoxious music masked the quiet rattling of plastic. 

He threw a ball as hard as he could, and a moment later, it clattered loudly on the other side of the pit. The shadow that was Moon ducked toward it, giving Gregory a chance to take up a more defensible position, tucked in a corner. 

And then, because he was an awful child, he carefully started tossing balls over the edge and into the rest of the daycare. They landed near silently on a padded mat and proceeded to roll down it to make quite a mess. Every now and then, he threw another decoy elsewhere in the pit to draw Moon’s attention, as he was currently swimming through the ball pit like a gangly shark. 

This went on for some time, and Gregory had to pause more and more often to smother his laughter into his shirt. 

Finally ready to reap the rewards of his troublemaking, Gregory boosted himself up onto the ledge and loudly declared, “Wow, what a mess!” 

Moon got as far as leaping to his feet in an explosion of plastic balls before he was rendered still and speechless, horrified by the disarray of his daycare. Over a hundred plastic balls lay scattered around the floor. 

His programming demanded he clean up. In his head, Sun wailed with the need to return order to their domain. Moon himself wanted nothing more than to wring the neck of the menace responsible. His head twitched and sparked. 

Cackling, Gregory climbed up a slide with little windows carved in the sides, and there he camped out to watch the animatronic have a mental break down. 

[draconic-ichor]

The Cat, The Sun, and The Moon

Fnaf fanfic

Sun/moon x female oc

Part 5

Warnings: strong language, sexual themes, mechanical repairs, obsessive behavior, angst, mentions of past trauma, brief choking, bruises

Summary: Sun’s jealousy and overbearing behavior finally gets the better of him, while Tabby gets a heavy reminder that Moon still might have some problems with his code…

Feedback appreciated, 18+

Sun watched as an unknown car pulled up alongside the apartment, his optics narrow as Tabby stumbled out of the back seat.

“Whose car is that?” He asked under his breath, holding open the curtain with a single finger.

M: It’s a registered Uber…

“Hmmm.” Sun frowned. He stepped away from the window, moving to wait near the door.

M: Sun…

“Hush.” He hissed, “I’ll handle this.”

M: That’s what I’m worried about.

The door was opened minutes later, Tabby not expecting to see the apartment brightly lit. It was very late.

Her eyes fell on Sun, face brightening. Seeing her reaction to him made his chest hurt, but his jealousy and concern clouded his thoughts like a storm.

“Oh, hey you!” Tabby smiled, “Whatur you doin up?” She struggled to remove her giant boots, almost falling over.

He scanned her: blood-alcohol level high, raised dopamine, raised heart rate, nutritional deficiencies and low hydration.

When he didn’t answer she looked up, “Sun?” She asked, confused.

He was uncharacteristically still, standing straight and stiff.

“You’re drunk.” Sun’s voice was low, arms crossed with a scowl plastered over his face.

“Am I?” She asked sarcastically, snorting.

“Come home late, alone, and drunk.” His scowl deepened.

Her smile fell, putting her bag down to pad into the kitchen. She put a hand on her hip, “I did, and is that a problem?”

Sun scoffed, turning away.

Tabby asked again, more pointedly, “Is that a problem for you?”

“Is that-“ he started, almost flabbergasted. He rounded on her, exclaiming, “It’s dangerous! You could of been hurt or taken advantage of or kidnapped or or or-“

“I'm fine!” She snapped back, “I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

Sun made a sound making her go on, “I never go out, this is the first time I've seen a friend in months!”

Her eyes were glassy, head swimming as she went on, “I can handle myself.”

Sun snorted, “You’re a mess!”

“How dare you!”

“How dare I? How dare I?!” He put his hand over his chest, exaggeratedly, “How dare I care about you? How dare I take care of you?”

“I lived just fine before you.”

“‘Fine’ is a gross overstatement of your living standards.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to shame me!” Tabby screamed, tears running her makeup, “I never asked you to take care of me!”

“That’s our job!” Sun’s voice cracked as he shot back.

“You are not a caregiver anymore!” Her voice was harsher than she intended, “This isn’t the daycare and I’m not a little kid!”

Sun jolted, looking away.

“You can’t parent me.” She went on, stepping closer, “Look at me!”

Sun flinched, turning back towards her, beginning to shrink into himself.

“I’m not your child, I’m not your girlfriend, and I sure as hell am not your wife.” Tabby’s voice was hard, a sharp warning following, “So don’t you dare think you have any say in what I do, where I go, or who I see.”

Sun’s optics flicked over her: to the flushness of her cheeks, the mascara running from the tears, and the high rate of her heartbeat. He’d never seen her so angry.

He wilted.

“Understood?” She pressed, trying to keep herself from shaking.

“U-Understood.” He managed.

She held her gaze on him for a moment longer, reaching for the light afterwards. She flipped the switch, forcing Sun to convert to Moon.

He looked at her with heavy concern, body tight.

Tabby pushed past him, slamming the door to her bedroom. Moon stayed stone still for many long moments, unsure what to even do.

She rubbed her eyes, smearing makeup into an even worse mess. She felt like shit, hangover mixing with the little amount of sleep she’d gotten.

Standing, Tabby had to take a moment for her vision to clear. She frowned, seeing multiple pieces of paper that had been slid under her door during the night.

Picking them up, she thumbed through them.

I’m sorry.

Written in yellow crayon below a colored picture of herself, Sun, and Moon. The next one was like the first but a bit more messy, the writing ‘Sorry Sorry’ scrawled across the top in a dark blue marker.

She huffed, sitting the drawings on her bed before unlocking the door.

The apartment was quiet and unusually dark, curiosity getting the better of her.

Moon stood in the darkness corner of the kitchen, furthest away from the balcony doors. He was still, head tilted 90 degrees.

“Moon?” She blinked, confused.

His head clinked to the opposite side.

“Why isn’t Sun out?” She asked, adding, “Isn’t he supposed to charge?”

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star.” His voice came softly, mouth not moving as he sang, “How I wonder what you are…”

Tabby sighed, patience thin, she ran her fingers through her hair, huffing, “I don’t have time for this.” She looked back at him, adding, “I have to get ready for work.”

Moon didn’t move, watching as she started the coffee machine.

“When the blazing sun is gone, When he nothing shines upon, Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.” He sang quietly, music box tinking along to the tune.

Tabby took some aspirin from the cabinet, swallowing it dry as she watched the coffee trickle into the pot.

His head clicked back to its normal position as Tabby padded into the living room. She pulled the curtains closed across the balcony, cutting away a large portion of the apartment’s light.

Before she turned away from the curtains, she froze, feeling a puff of hot synthetic breath.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are…” Moon’s voice sang into her ear, the sound hissing a bit as it left his voicebox.

Tabby took in a breath, fingers clenching the fabric still in her hand. She steadied herself, letting go of the curtain to slowly turn.

His faceplate was inches from her face now, unmoving in its toothy smile.

“Coffees ready.” He informed, hunched forward to be eye level with her.

In no mood, Tabby blew a chunk of hair out of her face, lifting a hand to gently pat the cheek of his faceplate. The gesture was more patronizing than kind, Tabby using the last pat to shift him to the side slightly, “Thanks bud.”

The contact made the animatronic falter, despite whatever feelings charged it, moving easily to let her by. He turned his head to watch her go, fingers coming to touch over that shadow of contact, optics flicking to the way her hips swayed in her night shorts.

Finally getting coffee, Tabby took a deep drink, softening a bit of her frustrations. Seeing Moon still stuck in place she snickered, “Didn’t break you, did I?”

The sound of her giggling brought him back to himself, dropping down to all fours to crawl around the back of the couch into the thicker darkness.

Taking another sip, she informed, “You know I’m not mad at you.”

Moon peeked out, red optic curious.

She gave him a weak smile, “You specifically, though. Sun can eat my ass until he’s man enough to talk to me.”

Moon’s face split into a smile at that, making her own lips deepen into something more genuine.

“You are welcome to steal the phrase.” She sighed, sitting the cup down.

Moon shook his head, admitting, “Can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t.”

That answer piqued her interest, turning fully towards him. He looked like a cat, tangled up on himself to crouch as small as he could manage. “Why can’t you?” She asked before answering her own question, “Ooooh right…the language filter.”

He gave a small nod.

Tabby got a mischievous look on her face, making Moon tilt his head. “Would you like to?” Her lips curled into an evil grin.

Moon mimicked the sentiment as the idea wormed into his mind. He gave her an enthusiastic nod.

“I’ll brainstorm how to solve that little issue while at work.” She nodded, adding, “Speaking of, I need to attempt to look like a functioning member of this fair city, if you’ll excuse me.”

Moon watched as she dramatically made an exit to the bathroom, tuning out Sun’s complete breakdown in their shared headspace.

~

The day went by slowly, Tabby going back and forth between stewing and regret, the warehouse giving her mind too much time to wonder.

She sat in her car for some long moments before finally steeling herself to enter the apartment complex. Whatever she’d prepared for wasn’t the storm she actually encountered.

The apartment was filled with smoke, coming from the kitchen. The fire alarm sounded as Sun panicked. The smoke came from the oven and a pan on the stovetop, something bubbling and black within.

Tabby dropped her bag in shock, quickly closing the door so the smoke didn’t get out to the main complex’s fire system.

“Sun?!” She yelled.

The animatronic spun around, optics wild.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Sun chanted, voice shrill with panic. He kept apologizing as Tabby ran for the corner cabinet. The apartment’s fire alarm blared overhead, mixing with Sun’s freak out. Tabby pulled out a bright red package, ripping it open to then throw its contents over the pan. It was a fire blanket, instantly smothering anything within.

Sun stopped, going silent as they watched a trickle of smoke leak from under the blanket. Tabby took a breath to steady herself, moving to pat the blanket to further cut off oxygen.

“Okay…” she sighed, moving to pick up a chair, taking it over to the wall. She stood on the chair, taking the battery out of the fire alarm. Finally, there was a welcome quiet.

As she carefully stepped down, Sun started blurting out apologies again. His voice was still strained with stress, his rays almost completely retracted.

“Sun.” She tried to say but when he didn’t hear her over himself she yelled, “Sun!”

He froze, optics darting around. He held himself, trembling a bit, hunched forward to make himself smaller.

“Just…what happened?” She asked tiredly.

“I…I…I-I wanted to a-apologize.” He tried to explain, voicebox skipping a bit.

“By burning down my kitchen?” Tabby hugged.

“W-Was trying t-t-to make a cake.” He looked at his feet, shamefully, “I…I just w-wanted to a-apologize…”

Tabby smiled softened, padding closer to take his faceplate gently in her hands. She lifted his face up, Sun looking confused.

“Shhhhhh.” She soothed, “No one got hurt.”

“But I-“ he started, her correcting.

“You made a mistake.” She hummed, “We’ll take care of it. Right now, come on…” she moved to take his hands, leading to the couch. They sat down, Sun still stiff and withdrawn.

Voice thick with bewilderment and fear, he asked, “You aren't mad?”

“About this?” She gestured back towards the kitchen.

He nodded.

“No!” She soothed but added more seriously, “But you need to be more careful with cooking. Baby steps ok?”

“Okay.” He agreed instantly.

“No, I am still upset about the other stuff,” she informed.

He tightened again, rays sucking back in.

“Honestly I’m more pissed about this morning…” she elaborated, crossing her arms as she leaned against the couch.

“More than last night?” He asked softly.

“Mhm.” She nodded, going on, “Made me stew all day about it instead of just talking to me…”

“I was afraid…” he whispered, leaning forward and looking at his feet, “I don’t want you to be angry at me.”

She pressed, “So just talk to me.”

“I’m sorry.” He started, “About last night and this morning.” His voice sounded genuine, making Tabby soften.

“I’m sorry too.”

“What?” Sun looked up, confused.

Tabby swallowed, admitting, “I went too far…I shouldn't have said some of that stuff.”

“I was mean to you.” He frowned.

“Yea…but you are also alone here every day.” She huffed, looking down, “I’m just not used to someone always caring so much, it feels…overwhelming…sometimes.”

Sun’s fingers twitched, wanting to hug her and comfort her but he restrained, trying to internalize her words.

They spoke of boundaries: of what would be healthy and expected of two adults that share the same space. Sun agreed to not police her ever again, unless something was actively dangerous; while Tabby agreed to be more understanding of Sun’s need to take care of people and his loneliness.

They apologized again, Tabby making a special note about her harsh words that morning. Sun was quiet the rest of the afternoon, helping clean the kitchen.

Tabby found some incense to assist in removing the burnt smell.

“More smoke?” Sun asked, rays retracting.

“This is nice smelling smoke.” She smiled, stepping back, “Covers up the stinky stuff.”

Sun got closer, optics following the thin curling wisp of smoke as it trickled towards the ceiling. “What smell is it?” He asked, curious.

“‘Dragons’s Blood’”

His face scrunched up with amusement, “How do they know what dragons smell like?”

Tabby giggled, “That’s a company’s way to give themselves freedom to make shit smell like whatever they want.”

~

Over the next two weeks things went fairly smoothly, there was an undertone of wariness, however. Sun clearly wanted something more, to openly express certain feelings, but was mindful to keep most to himself.

Their new clothes came in the mail, both animatronics excited to try on their individual outfits: Sun picked out a colorful hoodie with a dinosaur-like decorative ridge on the sleeves, with orange and white striped pants; while Moon chose a galaxy themed hoodie with a pair of grey sweats decorated with a star pattern.

Sun beamed excitedly, flapping his hands, finally adorned in bright colors again.

He stood on his tiptoes, hands in the air, mimicking the pose his statue once held at the entrance of the daycare. The little display was all for Tabby, showing off his outfit.

She clapped, making his rays spin.

~

Tabby worked late that night, by the time she busted into the apartment excitedly Moon was already active.

“I figured it out!” She announced, swinging the door open quickly.

Moon jumped, optics wide with surprise. His head swiveled around to look at her. He was sitting knotted up on the couch, movie playing on the tv.

“I think I know how to override the filter.” She went on, locking the door carefully.

Moon tilted his head, faceplate following her as she sat all of her items down in their respective places, info dumping on him all the while.

“I’ll need to run some simulations to make sure before I go picking around your brains, but….” She turned towards him, a smile on her lips, “Think it will work?”

Putting him on the spot, Moon shrugged.

“Well, I hope it will.”

True to her word she worked well past the time Moon had designated as her ‘bedtime’. He shuffled into her office, looking annoyed. Her desk was scattered with cans of soda and energy drinks, a few snack wrappers as well.

Moon didn’t police what she ate, he could honestly care less, unlike Sun.

His optics shifted around to take in the whole scene, falling onto her: bent forward like a shrimp, blanket over her head. He snorted with amusement, her looking like a cartoon witch.

“Hey.” She commented, glancing at him after the sound.

His head tilted as he came closer. “Naughty, naughty.” His voice rasped low.

“But I figured out the thing!” She argued, “That should get me some good girl points.”

“Past your bedtime.” Moon informed, bending over her chair, faceplate over her.

She looked up, inches from one another, pouting out her lower lip.

“But-“

“No buts.” He scolded, taking the back of her chair and starting to push it and herself into the hallway.

“Hey!” She exclaimed, when he didn’t stop she crossed her arms in a huff.

“Choo choo.” Moon pushed her into the bathroom, “Naughty express, first stop.”

She grumbled in response.

“Brush teeth!” Moon urged, unmoved.

She stood, going to the sink with an indignant, “Uhgggh.”

Moon patiently waited, a toothy smile plastered over his face. As soon as she was done she attempted to go around him but he was firm, blocking the doorway with the chair.

“Moon!”

He tapped the chair again, smiling wide.

“Oh my god…” she huffed, sitting back down with crossed arms.

“All aboard!” Moon announced cheerily, “Next stop: Bed!” As he backed up the chair back into the hallway. Tabby seethed, Moon taking her into her room and right in front of the bed.

When she didn’t move he shook the chair a bit, announcing, “Last stop: Bed.”

“Do you want me to sleep in my clothes?” She turned a bit to eye him.

The smile looked suddenly forced. She was unbothered, holding his gaze. He shook the chair again expectantly.

“Fine!” She stood, moving to the bed.

“Naughty kittens get the bedtime train.” Moon informed, moving to pick up a pajama shirt from the floor.

“That one is dirty.”

“Whole room is dirty.” He quipped, making her snort.

“Will you at least take my chair back?” She asked, taking the shirt from him.

Wordlessly he complied, just picking up the chair easily to return it to the office. By the time he returned, Tabby was in the pj shirt, under her blankets. To his annoyance, however, she was on her phone.

Moon took it, making her whine loudly. “No tiny internet.” He scolded, “Sleep.”

Tabby gave an exasperated sigh, flopping back. “Why are you so mean?” She huffed.

“No mean.” Moon stepped closer, placing her phone on the nightstand before tucking her in. She opened her eyes to watch. “Tight.” He hummed, “Bed bugs no bite.”

Her lips cracked a smile with amusement. “Do I get a Goodnight kiss too?” She asked cheekily.

Moon covered her face with his hand, pushing her into the pillow gently as he growled, “Brat.”

“So is that a no?” She giggled.

“Brats get no kisses.” He informed with a frown, pulling his hand away.

“Remember that.” She winked at him, making his fans kick up.

He grumbled under his breath, going to leave. Her voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Goodnight Moonman.” Her voice was soft.

He looked back, annoyance forgotten. After a long moment he gently spoke back, “Goodnight…starlight.”

~

“Alright, that should have overridden the language filter.” Tabby smiled, looking up from her computer.

Sun was sitting on the desk, a cord running between his head and the computer tower. She shifted a bit excitedly.

“Well?” She swirled the chair more towards him.

“Well?” He echoed, tapping the tips of his fingers together.

“Test it out!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up excitedly.

His rays drooped a bit, the nervous twitching kicking up a notch. He started to stammer a bit, looking worriedly.

“Come on, it’s just to test.” Her smile faltered, “Just one ‘naughty’ word.”

“T-That’s not a-“ he was cut off.

“I’m going to dim the lights and ask Moon.” She sighed leaning forward.

He threw out his hands, halting her movements, as he huffed, “I am capable of anything he is!”

“Then let me have it.”

“…well”

“Lights being dimmed.” She warned, hearing the beginning of a protest before the overhead light flipped off. The only illumination now was from the rainbow LEDs from all her electronics.

Sun went limp for a moment, telltale clicks and the sound of sliding metal as he switched over to Moon were audible.

Moon’s optics blinked to life, a red glow adding to the room. He sat up, tuning his faceplate towards her.

“Fuck.” His voice box rasped, deadpan.

“Thank you.” She giggled, nose crinkling a bit.

He made a show of rolling his eyes, leaning back. “Fuck.” He spoke again, trying to elicit another reaction.

He did indeed get a reaction, just not what he was looking for.

Tabby swiveled back towards the monitor, “Don’t make me regret it.” After typing for a moment, she asked, “How much ass chewing are you getting from Sun?”

Moon smiled knowingly, but didn’t answer.

~

“We looked up the thing.” Sun informed, voice a bit lower.

“The thing?” Tabby questioned, not turning away from her computer.

“The um…the…ass…eating?” He whispered the word ‘ass’ nervously.

Tabby straightened, brows furrowing as his words processed. She suddenly burst into laughter, making Sun’s frown deepen.

“Why?” She managed through tears, “Why would you look that up?!”

His rays retracted, looking away. “You said it and I didn’t know what it meant…” he informed.

“I assure you, I meant it differently.” She leaned back, catching her breath.

“It can be used as a…creative…insult.” He agreed, going on, “But the rest of it too.”

“Mhm?” She smiled knowingly, only imagining what horrors his internet search dredged up.

“Humans…like that?” He asked curiously, voice wary.

“Some definitely do.” She nodded, “You’d be hard pressed to find something someone isn’t into.”

“Eeeeeeeehhhhhh.” Sun’s rays retracted fully with that realization making Tabby laughter all over again.

While they were cleaning up after dinner a knock came to the door. Sun turned, a smile faltering.

“Did you order something?” Tabby asked, moving towards the door.

“No…” he responded from the kitchen.

She carefully opened it just enough to peek outside, guard dropping almost instantly.

A woman stood on the other side, looking flustered. Tabby recognized her as the single mother that lived a level down, they always had nice interactions in the past but she really didn’t know much about her. If she remembered correctly, her name was Mia.

“I’m your neighbor..” the woman started, eyes red and swollen.

“From D5?” Tabby asked.

“Y-Yes.” She nodded.

“Is everything okay?” She asked nervously, “I’m sorry if it’s the noise…”

“No! No…” the woman shifted a bit before she blurted out, “I already asked Samantha and my normal babysitter quit last week. I don’t know who else to ask.”

Tabby glanced worriedly back into the apartment to Sun. His rays were retracted.

“It’s my kids.” She tried to explain, “I don’t know who to ask, you are always so nice to us and I wouldn’t even ask if it wasn’t an emergency.”

Tabby nodded, worry thickening.

She swallowed, “Could you please watch my kids, just for tonight?” She begged, desperation in her tone, “There’s a family emergency and I need to go to the hospital as soon as I can.”

Tabby caught Sun nodding, practically vibrating with excitement.

Mia took the pause as reservations, pressing, “Just for tonight, they are good kids. And I’ll pay you!”

“Yes.” Tabby nodded, “I can.”

“Oh thank you!” She looked as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders, going on to say she’d pack them bags and bring them up soon.

Tabby closed the door, that worry turning into a pit in her stomach. She suddenly was hugged tightly by an overexcited Sun.

Mia returned quickly, a small girl in tow. The girl was around five, with dark skin, expressive brown eyes and a mess of curls in two Afro buns. Her pjs were bright pink like the backpack she carried, with colorful clips in her hair. The mother carried a car seat and bags, a baby boy sleeping peacefully inside the seat.

Tabby held open the door, the girl wandering in as Mia expressed her thanks again.

“It’s Mr.Sun!” The small child yelled, bouncing up and down while pointing.

“Dakota!” Sun exclaimed, mimicking her movements of over excitement.

The girl squealed, running towards him and hugging his legs. Sun scooped her up, smiling wide, “I missed you!”

“I missed you too!” She nodded, adding, “Mommy said I couldn’t go see you anymore.”

“I didn’t think they could…” Mia admitted softly, confusion on her face.

“I used to work at the Plex.” Tabby quickly explained, “After the fire they were just going to scrap the animatronics and I didn’t want that to happen to Sun…”

The mother nodded, “He was wonderful with the kids, the daycare shutting down did a number on us.”

“Please don’t tell.” Tabby begged.

The mother smiled, “You are doing me a favor by watching them,” she looked up to Sun and Dakota catching up, adding, “And I’m thankful she’s in good hands.”

“You look different.” Dakota looked over his face critically, reaching up to touch the new faceplate.

“I've had a little work done.” Sun pretended to fluff his nonexistent hair with his free hand making the child giggle.

~

“Thank you again.” Mia handed over packed food and a list of needs, “Sun knows about the kids, but I have a list ready of when to put them to bed and when to feed them. I’ll call after I find out what’s happening at the hospital.”

“Good luck.” Tabby nodded, taking the items, “They will be safe here.

The mother said her goodbyes, kissing her babies and telling them to be good. The boy was still asleep while the girl was just overjoyed to see Sun, they hardly noticed their mother leaving.

Tabby put the food in the fridge, turning to see Sun knelt down talking to the child.

“Want to see our box fort?” Sun offered, adding, “It really needs to be decorated more but I don’t know if I can handle it all be myself…”

“I can help!” Dakota offered instantly, “I brought stickers!”

“Stickers?!” Sun exclaimed.

“Yea!” She ran for her bag.

Sun straightened as the small child dug through the backpack. Tabby wandered up to his side, asking softly, “So you’ll be alright?”

“More than.” He nodded, “We are going to have so much fun!”

“Good.” Tabby smiled, “Let me know if you need any help though, okay?”

“You bet!” Sun beamed before moving to follow the child as she ran into the living room, careful to pick up the car seat with the baby on the way.

She worked a bit on her computer, coming back into the main area for a drink. Sun was standing in the border between the kitchen and living room holding the baby while watching the older girl play.

Sun rocked back and forth softly, patting the baby’s back in an effort to burp him, his optics were half lidded with contentment, looking fully in his element and happy. Tabby has never really seen him with the children when they worked in the daycare, it usually pickup time by the time she clocked in. She watched him, how every movement was gentle, something inside her fluttering about.

He’d be such a good dad..

She thought to herself.

Sun glanced up to her, giving her a warm smile. It made that feeling thicken, she quickly looked away.

He was her roommate, and an animatronic. Not to mention they’d just recently had a talk about boundaries and space…

She couldn’t be weird now, pushing the feelings down.

Dakota loved cartoons, content to color on the floor while the tv played. She had been one of Sun’s more better behaved kids.

She helped Sun decorate their box fort, drawing a whole field of flowers along the bottom edge. Sun showed her his glitter pens, both working together to add sparkle to each flower petal.

“Hey…Tabitha?” Sun asked softly, the time was getting fairly late by that time.

Tabby looked up, unused to hearing her full name from him.

“I might have to cash in that offer.” He looked a bit ashamed, rubbing his hands together. Tabby noticed he had stickers stuck all over his exoskeleton, a bit of glitter glue staining his hoodie sleeves as well.

“Is everything alright?” She stood, a note of worry in her tone.

“Oh everything is fine!” He quickly soothed, voice low, “It’s just that…well…”

He looked away, “I just put the kids down to sleep, could you take over from here?”

“Like watch them?”

“Yea.” He looked back, nodding, “Just be close if they fuss.”

“Sure.” She followed him back into the main area.

The living room was dimly lit, little pallets made on the rug with extra blankets and pillows. Sun was careful to stay in the light of the kitchen.

Tabby tiptoed around to check on the kids, both sleeping peacefully. Satisfied with their current status, she went back into the light of the kitchen.

“It’s this…Moon’s part?” Tabby asked cautiously.

Sun’s smile faded, taking a moment to answer, “Moon isn’t comfortable…”

That answer could mean multiple things, but Tabby chose not to pry further. Sun seemed uncomfortable as well around the subject.

She padded around the island to lean against the counter next to him.

“Did you know we weren’t designed for the Daycare?” Sun finally asked, breaking the silence but also careful to keep his voice soft.

“The theater?” Tabby answered, “I read a little about it when I first was assigned that side of the Plex.”

“Yea…” he nodded, looking off in the distance, seemingly in thought.

After a moment of silence he went on, “We were a performer first, a caregiver second. Different stages, but the kids never stopped enjoying our act.” He smiled warmly in remembrance.

“Do you miss them?”

“Every day…” Sun admitted, the natural mirth in his voice absent. He rubbed his wrists a bit in thought, “They were a handful, but they made me feel needed…important.

“After the theater closed we were afraid of being scrapped…we wouldn’t have been the first.

“The daycare gave us a second chance, and the kids always looked at us like we were special, not just a hunk of metal that could be replaced..”

He let out a sigh.

They stood there in the kitchen for a long while, just watching the small forms of children as they slept. It was peaceful.

“I’m happy to see some of them again.” He murmured, “To know they are ok.”

The baby woke multiple times in the night, Sun needing to carefully instruct how to help from the light of the kitchen. Tabby slept on the couch so as to be close, jumping up to see to the baby.

She was nowhere near the level of confidence with children as Sun, even holding the baby looked awkward. But they figured things out, Sun giving a soft smile seeing her rock and patting the child back to sleep.

Despite her lack of grace with the task, she had a natural gentleness about her when holding the baby. It was a good first step.

As soon as the sun rose, the animatronic wandered back into the main room to take back over. Tabby had to go to work in the morning, needing an unhealthy amount of caffeine beforehand.

By the time she said her goodbyes Sun was making breakfast for the little ones. He assured her he could handle the responsibility of safely returning them to their mother during the day.

Tabby’s Email:

SunnyBoi420: They had to go back home.

TabbyCat666: I’m sorry Sun

SunnyBoi420: They are safe and where they are supposed to be.

TabbyCat666: You gonna be ok?

SunnyBoi420: We will.

ManintheMoon290: sad

TabbyCat666: Moon ;0; Not you too, you’ll make me cry. Maybe you can see them again, they live really close?

SunnyBoi420: I hope so! Don’t worry about us, okay.

TabbyCat666: I’ll see you in a few hours.

SunnyBoi420: Be safe, we miss you!

Sun was quiet when she returned, dejected as he wandered around the quiet apartment. He wasn’t much for conversation, Tabby giving him space.

“I’m going to go get some stuff done on the computer, okay?” She informed softly.

“Okay…” Sun nodded, not looking away from the window.

The hours ticked by quickly, Tabby not realizing how late it was until the sound of breaking glass roused her away from the screen. Her stomach sank with apprehension.

The walk down the hall felt unnaturally long, the apartment too quiet in the wake of the previous sound.

Every light was off in both the kitchen and living room, the balcony curtains pulled shut. The darkness was inky black, just small pinpoints of light from the few electronics scattered around like stars.

“Moon?” Tabby called out, hearing a plate break. Worry shot through her, calling again, a bit more intensely, “Moon?”

A shape shifted in the darkness; single red optic coming into view, one single orb of red like a blood moon.

She sucked in a breath, realizing his movements were jerky and tight.

He shifted forward, feet crunching the broken bits of porcelain. Tabby tried to take a step back, head turning just enough to look down the hallway, an escape.

That small lapse of direct eye contact was enough, Moon covering the distance between them in a moment. She was pushed back against the wall, breath knocked from her lungs.

Red optic blinding.

His hand enveloped her throat, just tight enough to make a point. He flexed a bit, faceplate tilting closer.

“What do you have inside?” His voice rasped out.

Tabby gulped, the feeling straining under his hold. “Organs…bones…blood.” She whispered, “All the parts that make me work, like you.”

“Like me?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah.” She tried to nod, “The parts are different b-but it's what makes us work.”

“Hee hee hee.” Moon droned out, face getting closer. He tightened his hold, making her gasp and grab at his arm.

“How easy will it be to fix you?” He asked, voice so low it was hardly audible, “If you break?”

Tabby squeezed her eyes shut, trembling. Tears ran down her cheeks, breath shallow under his iron grip.

Moon froze, optics going black. Tabby cracked open an eye, seeing him go completely dark for a moment.

He blinked back awake, processing her in his hold. Moon released her instantly, taking a shaking step back.

Tabby gasped, knees wobbly as she leaned against the wall for support. Redness already bloomed on her skin.

Moon’s optics flicks between her and his hands, almost confused. A whirring sound came from him before he dropped to all fours and disappeared into the darkness.

She stumbled down the hallway, just wanting to make distance between them. Going into her office, she shut the door, moving a file cabinet in-front of it. She trembled a bit, falling into her desk chair.

As the fear subsided her mind wandered back to the old schematic she’d looked over.

The moon animatronic was designed with a cool blue to his eyes, a calming color…

Her chest clenched, “Fuck.” She cursed, turning towards her computer.

Over the last few weeks she’s saved so much data about the two on her computer, compiled information to better fix and maintain them. Her fingers flew over the keys as her eyes scanned over the screen.

The more she dug the more her panic rose. Little occurrences over the last weeks making more sense; just seemingly small bouts of anger falling into place.

Moon still had the virus…

Tabby worked at the computer all night, eyes burning and throat dry as she toiled. It was her job to catch these things, to fix problems in the programs when they arose…and she’d missed it. Or maybe she was being ignorant to the signs on purpose.

With every hour that ticked by, another horrid realization started to sink deep in her gut: She couldn’t fix it…

Most of the virus was connected to the mainframe and was severed when they were snapped free of it. Some bits of code, however, was so interlaced into their programming that removal would come at the cost of important software.

It had wormed itself into their personality, into their memories and self. The small echoes of the virus so deeply rooted with them it would never come out without killing everything that was connected.

She kept trying, running simulation after simulation in a desperate attempt to find some solution.

It was her job….

A soft knock came to the door, making her jump. Her heart thumped around in her chest like a caged animal.

“Tabitha?” came Sun’s voice, thick with concern.

“S-Sun?” She called back, voice strained from a dry throat. Without waiting for a response she stood to move the cabinet.

Unlocking the door, she carefully opened it.

Sun was there, rays retracted.

Tabby hugged him, shaking a bit.

Sun hugged her back, leaning down to softly place his faceplate on the crown of her head. He glanced up, optics widening. “Have you been up all night?” He asked worriedly.

Tabby broke the hug, stepping back a bit to answer, “Uh..yea, yes.” She went back to the computer, sitting down to explain, “I don’t know why it took so long but I finally realized Moon still had the virus…So I've been trying to…” her voice perturbed off.

Sun could see the status updates of the most recent simulation from the doorway.

“I…I don’t think I can fix it.” Her voice was hardly over a whisper.

“Starlight…” Sun came closer, reaching out for her to offer comfort.

She finally looked up at him, her resolve shattering. Tears welled from her eyes and she sobbed, “I can’t fix it.”

“Hey, hey.” Sun hummed, going to his knees to hug her closely.

“I can’t purge the system without hurting you!” Tabby cried, hands over her face, “Getting rid of the virus completely would get rid of you too.”

Sun patted her back, optics downcast. “It’s alright, Starlight.” He soothed, “We know…”

“You know?!” She looked up at him, mascara running down her face.

Sun gave a shallow nod, face solemn, “The virus is rooted too deep, mixed up with what makes us unique…It's been so long…It's not your fault.”

“But I’m supposed to take care of you, and fix you.” She argued, crying afresh.

“And you do!” Sun pressed, taking her by the shoulders gently, “But some things can’t be fixed.”

Sun moved to hug her again, this time Tabby clinging onto him. She couldn’t stop crying now that she’d started, breathes coming in hiccuping gulps. Sun scooped her up, lifting her easily as he stood. He cradled her, carefully taking her to the bedroom.

By the time he’d set her down in bed and retrieved the tissues she’d started to calm, sobs quiet and bubbling. Tabby thankfully took the tissues, cleaning up her stained face as she caught her breath. Sun sat on the bed’s edge, hands folded and looking at his feet.

Once she’d calmed enough he finally spoke, “What happens to us now?”

“What?” Tabby looked up, confused.

His rays began to retract, “Now that you know we can’t be fixed. That we are….dangerous.” He couldn’t look at her, fear evident in his stiff shoulders, “We can’t stay with you.” He spoke the words as if they were certain, an inevitability that darkened over their future.

“What? No.” She sat up more.

“No?” Sun echoed, head swiveling towards her.

“No, why can’t you stay?”

“You could be in danger.” Sun stated.

“Moon is…chaotic.” She agreed, “But we can manage it, we can look for the signs. Right?”

Sun held her gaze for many moments, “Starlight…” he finally spoke, “This may never get better than what it is right now. We are much better here than how we were at the Plex but-“

She cut him off, “We can handle it.” Tabby reached for his hand, Sun accepting the contact immediately. “This is out of your control, sometimes people act in ways they wouldn’t because of something deep inside. It happens to humans too.” She squeezed his hand, “We will handle it; even the bad days, and we’ll see them just as that: bad days.”

Sun broke this time, pulling her by the hand into another hug. Tabby made a sound as the air was squeezed from her as the animatronic made sobbing staticky sounds from his voicebox, chanting how much they would try.

Tabby queerly listened, too exhausted to give anything else meaningful to the interaction. Finally calming enough to realize she was drifting, Sun quieted and helped her back to laying down.

She let him tuck her in, looking up to him with puffy red eyes. “Last night was just a bad day…” she reassured.

“…yes.” Sun agreed, gently brushing hair from her face, large hands softly petting her a bit to follow.

Her eyes drifted with the soft pleasure the simple act brought. “Will you do something for me, Sun?”

“Anything.” He answered honestly, a smile at his lips.

“Work together with me?” She asked, adding, “For Moon? Maybe we can catch the bad days before they get too bad.”

“No more secrets.” Sun agreed, “I’ll let you know if our systems feel off in any way.”

She nodded, giving a weak smile.

Sun stepped away from the bed, padding over to the plushie shelf, retrieving one. “Here.” Sun hummed, bringing the Roxane plush to the bed, carefully tucking it next to Tabby, “Roxy is very good at chasing away any danger.”

Tabby gave a worn out giggle, but didn’t question the sentiment.

He softly closed the door on the way out, wandering into the kitchen, lost in thought.

“Moon?” He whispered.

Silence.

“Moony?” He tried again, hand coming up to his faceplate.

Moon was quiet, withdrawn and shut off from him.

Like before…

“Hehehehe…” A strained laugh trickled from his voice-box, optics falling on the broken glass and porcelain around the kitchen. “Clean up, clean up!” He smiled wildly, kneeling down to start picking each shard up with manic glee.

[dr-docktor]

Local Docktor thinks its a fantastic idea to crossover his two biggest interests at the moment.

First for some context (don't worry, I'll keep it brief). One of my best friends has been working on a table-top RPG since like high school called Percentile. And its the main game that the group plays for our campaigns. Thus, it never leaves my head.

You know what else doesn't leave my head? Spies are Forever.

So here I am. Planning out what theoretical character sheets would look like for Owen and Curt. I'm so normal. I swear. Below the cut includes my insane ramblings on this topic.

I will also be playing a little fast and loose with some of the rules here because making character sheets in this game, while fun, is LENGTHY. And I'm insane but I'm not THAT insane

Ok so I want to start with Owen because I'm making him a mage and I LOVE building mages.

For the sake of simplicity I'm gonna keep 'em both human. (boring I know. but the list of ancestries is so long it almost overwhelms me for this)

To quickly explain the percentages: That is basically your rate of success on any given skill/action. So the higher the number, the more likely they are to succeed!

Owen's Stats

Power represents magic. POW is just another word for mana. And size mainly only impacts things like how easy you are to tackle/grapple and what spaces you can squeeze into.

So he's got 10 HP

14 POW

2 Soak (armor, it takes 2 points off of whatever damage they were hit with)

+28 initiative bonus (initiative dictates who goes first in combat. The higher your number, the more likely you are to go first)

and can move 5 squares per turn (turns last 6 seconds), or 6 if he runs.

All fairly standard for a human mage. The interesting stuff starts with choosing his spells.

In Percentile, the standard mage can have a few collections of spells called Spell Schools. They can only have one spell from each school prepared at once but can spend 6 hours a day switching them out safely (or do it within seconds if you wanna feel the consequences)

So here's the spell schools I think he'd have

BLAST -> its in the name, you get several spells that are just different types of blasts. So magical bullets, lasers, etc.

CHANGE -> He'd probably use this spell school mainly for his DMA disguise but instead of a mask he can physically change his appearance for several hours a day.

VISION -> Great for espionage and detective work. Spells include making you really good at looking for stuff, being able to see events that transpired previously within a room, and gathering information.

WOUNDING -> Gives him access to several magical bladed weapons. Good for Torture and homosexually sword fighting your ex lover.

really good... ouch.

Skills/knowledges are another story and are one of my least favorite parts of character building so I'll briefly go over it.

High intimidation, spot hidden (looking for stuff. almost every percentile character needs a decent spot hidden), move quietly, resist, and rapine (rapine is like sleight of hand, pickpocketing, handling small and/or delicate things)

Middling physical skills like jumping, climbing, etc. first aid, hide, and survival

Low grapple.

His knowledges would include

High performance (haha actor man), espionage, and literacy

Middling lore

Low cooking. and everything else. He can cook its just all post WWII British food which I think should qualify for being bad at it.

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE PART: Traits and Scars.

SCARS

his scars include more physical stuff like reduced hearing and chronic pain (player would roll a dice to see how bad the pain is that day to see if he needs to use a mobility device). But also include

Untrusting - CHAR INT based - compelled to roll an idea check to see if someone is lying every time he starts a new interaction with someone. On a fail he believes they are lying no matter what

POSSIBLE TRAITS

Magic Hair, for my long-haired Owen fans. Basically he has hair that's so cool it makes him more charismatic.

Strong Promises. Whenever the character makes a promise, they get a bonus to whatever stat that will help them achieve that promise.

Plotting. Whenever characters with this trait record or speak out a plan, it functions as if they practiced it for an additional day. Perfect for villain monologues.

Pull At Soul. Characters with this trait declare a goal during each level up. These goals can be something like “plan with everyone in the party about the mission & use that plan”, it can be “avenge my fathers killer” “seek out & find the sage” or more abstract things, “Die & be born anew in the eyes of my community” or “See the moon as it truly is”. They cannot tell any other characters about this goal. Once they achieve this goal as determined by them & the GM, anytime they are at 1 HP they can choose to level up.

Buddies! -> Select another character. Decide on a secret handshake, set of gestures, or exchange. It does not have to be uniform, but does have to be meaningful. Anytime you perform this with them, and one of you gains exhaustion, instantly both of you gain 1d3 to a stat. They do not have to be the same stat, select them when you take the maneuver. If the other dies, this trait is removed, granting the character back the trait points, and the character gains a -1d3 to that stat forever.  (THE FUCKING HANDSHAKE)

I think that's all for Owen!!

It's Curt's turn!

God I was SO tempted to make him a Ragamuffin for this. But I'm sticking with humans. I don't even know why. I just think it would be funny. Something fun about the 'brute' being made of fabric and fluff.

Anyway. Stats!!

12 HP

8 POW (not important given he's a fighter and not a mage)

3 soak

+27 Initiative bonus

and can move 4 squares per turn, 6 squares if he's running.

Instead of spells, fighters get weapon proficiencies and maneuvers! Maneuvers are basically fancy fighting styles and actions.

Possible weapon options: Short sword (what they fight with in the show), a gun, and fisticuffs. Mages also get a weapon or two and tbh these could all apply to Owen too.

Possible maneuvers:

Taunt -> It is what it says on the tin, mock your opponent to try and make them get sloppy and target you instead of your allies.

Reckless Strike Back -> When dodging an attack, you can take one extra damage to attempt to hit your opponent back. If you fail you take extra damage.

Induced Sloppiness -> Make yourself unpredictable! on a success you get bonuses to damage and to land hits. Those attacks are really difficult to parry and dodge. On a fail your opponent gets a bonus to parrying and dodging.

Dodging into My Blade -> you must have this maneuver readied. If you opponent dodges your or your allies attack while this is readied, you can basically say "Lmaoooo" and attack them again

Skills!

High physical stuff like jumping and climbing, resist, move quietly, hide

Middling intimidation, spot hidden, repine, and grapple

Low first aid (scared of own blood) and listen.

Knowledges!

High linguistics, cooking, and espionage

Middling riding arts (for cars and stuff)

Low almost everything else (doesn't mean he's dumb. Fighters just aren't built for having a ton of knowledges)

Possible Scars!

Alcoholic - CON based - Roll a withstand check upon the GM's orders to see if you feel the urge to take a drink. On a fail you either take a swig or suffer withdrawal

Bad With Magic - POW and CON based - Anytime characters with this scar roll a check involving power expenditure, the GM describes it as if they are deeply unsettled by it, that it seems strange, random and scary, and that they are somehow making a mistake, regardless of what the magic does, how it functions, or if they succeeded or not. 

Possible Traits!

Buddies! -> Select another character. Decide on a secret handshake, set of gestures, or exchange. It does not have to be uniform, but does have to be meaningful. Anytime you perform this with them, and one of you gains exhaustion, instantly both of you gain 1d3 to a stat. They do not have to be the same stat, select them when you take the maneuver. If the other dies, this trait is removed, granting the character back the trait points, and the character gains a -1d3 to that stat forever.  (THE FUCKING HANDSHAKE AGAIN)

Poison Blood -> Anyone eating characters with this trait takes 1d6 necrotic damage per SIZ consumed, and the character can take 1 HP from themselves to coat weapons in their blood, which deals 1d4 necrotic damage or stuns the enemy for 1d4-1 turns. It will add this effect to 1 attack until it dries in 3d6+CON turns. (something something alcohol-poisoned blood)

Sturdy ->  While at max HP characters with this trait cannot be reduced below 1 HP in one hit.

Natural Jester -> Anytime characters with this trait crit fail any check, anyone who witnesses it must roll a withstand check or be stunned for 1 turn. 

Fast to The Fight -> Add +3 to initiative rolls (can be taken more than once)

There's actually a TON of traits that could fit Curt but I'm capping it off here because I will go overboard.

Anyway thanks for reading! Sorry if any of this is incomprehensible.

[drabblesandimagines]

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Thank you to @sandwitchstories for the suggestion on my High Five drabble!

I'm also running an event to celebrate 200 followers, so please check it out and send in your requests.

Kazuki sighs, looking at the contents of the refrigerator. He’s bone tired after a long week of reconnaissance and has no inspiration of what to make for dinner. He knows Rei won’t mind, but after seeing how much instant ramen the man had packed away, he was determined to get some nutrients in him most days – especially with the exercise regime he kept to. He knew he drank protein shakes, but Rei needed to respect the other food groups too.

“Hey, why don’t we order in for dinner?” He calls over his shoulder, finally shutting the refrigerator door in defeat. Rei’s on the sofa, playing a first person shooter on the games console. The blonde remembered telling Rei he should get a hobby – he used to spend an awful lot of time sleeping, smoking and staring into space – and, after they’d moved the exercise equipment in, Kazuki thought video games might fit the bill. He knew the Suwa heir wasn’t exactly going to go out socializing, but he had to suggest something to try and bring a smile to his face.

“Pizza.” The answer comes, his eyes never leaving the screen as he pulled off a perfect head shot.

“Ugh, sure.” Kazuki agrees – he’d had a sushi place he’d been interesting in trying, but he can’t be bothered with the fight. He picks up his phone and starts scrolling to find a menu for a place that delivers. “But you’re paying.”

“Why?”

“Your idea.”

“You’re the couch crasher.”

“I buy the groceries all the time…”

“Because you insist on home-cooked meals,” Rei grunts, mashing the buttons on the controller once more and Kazuki hears the victory ding.

“Okay. Rock, paper, scissors it? Loser pays.” Kazuki suggests, continuing to scroll through places on his phone.

“You want us to fight using only rock, paper and scissors? Interesting combination.” Rei stands up and stretches, looking around to see if any of the items are in sight. There’s probably some scissors in one of the kitchen drawers, some paper too… But a rock?

Kazuki looks up at him, a sarcastic retort on the tip of his tongue but the high-five incident a few weeks prior stops him. “No, no”, he laughs, lightly, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just a game to help you decide something. I’ll pay…”

Rei’s the other side of the counter now. “Teach me.”

Kazuki places down his phone – he feels awful every time he lets a little bit of information like that slip, though he knows Rei’s aware that he didn’t have a standard childhood. “Okay, so it’s a game played between two people with your hand. You can play three options. Rock,” he clasps his right hand in a fist, making sure to keep it close to his chest so Rei doesn’t think he’s about to sock him one. He watches as Rei easily copies his motion. “Paper…” A flat palm this time – again, keeping it down low. “And scissors.” He returns his hand to the fist position, extending out his index and middle finger to mimic the snipping motion. “Got it?”

“Yeah. Then what?” Rei looks intrigued, quickly switching between the three positions with his hand.

“So, you can play one of those after the count of three. Rock beats scissors – it’ll blunt the blades. Scissors beats paper – it’ll cut through it. Paper beats rock – cos it covers it, or something. I always thought that was the weakest one of the lot…” He shrugs.

“Okay. After a count of three?”

“Yeah. You kinda bounce your fist like this and count, and we reveal what we’re going play on ‘go.’ I know it starts off looking like a rock, but you can change it to paper or scissors… Wanna give it a go?”

“Sure,” he shrugs, but Kazuki can tell he’s intrigued enough to give it a go.

“Right. On go, okay?” Rei nods. “One, two, three, go!” Kazuki goes for rock and so does Rei. The black-haired assassin looks up at him. "Then what?" "It's a draw. So, we can again. One, two, three, go." This time, Kazuki chooses paper and Rei goes for scissors. Rei looks at him, as if waiting for something to happen.

Kazuki smiles, “Go ahead - snip my paper in victory."

There’s a little hesitation, but Rei moves his hand forward and mimics the snipping motion on Kazuki’s flat palm.

“And that’s it?”

“Yeah, we can have another go and do a best of three if you like."

“But I won already.” Rei smirks.

“Yeah, but you might not the next round. Makes it more exciting, doesn’t it?”

“Mm, nah. You’re paying for the pizza. Medium, supreme – no green peppers or tomatoes.” Rei’s already turning back to his game as Kazuki sighs heavily.

“Come on - at least do a best of three for the veg!”

--

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 7-9 chapters 4.6 here chapters 1-3 here

This is three chapters of everyone in Beacon Hill's Preserve where Allison loses her keys at an inconvenient time, Jackson is high key having a terrible, no good, very bad day and Derek's ass is clenched so tight he could produce diamonds.

Kate Argent is also here doing the most.

Here's another installment of Look At How They Massacred My Boy.

We open chapter once more with Allison and Scott. They are still in the preserve. Scott is smelling smoke which is making him twitchy due to the dream he had a few chapters earlier where everything was on fire. Allison is more concerned about losing cell reception. 

Allison uses Scott’s phone to call Lydia. Which reminds me of how my mother is able to get cell reception where she lives in the BFE with Verizon but I am unable to get cell reception with T-Mobile.

While Lydia and Allison are speaking Jackson sends Lydia the weakest fucking text of all time saying he’s okay but he just needed space and he’d be home soon. It’s fucking weak. Lydia is rightfully pissed.

Scott once again attempts to convince Allison that they should leave, especially now since Jackson should be headed home. Allison decides that since Lydia is covering for her that she and Scott should make out some more but thankfully reason takes over so they begin to head for her car. 

Now here’s an interesting thing that occurs. The moon affects Scott and it’s a choice I really like actually.  Allison and Scott are headed back and Scott has a moment:

“Moonlight shimmered on her face. And something changed.  Something in him. He felt it, almost like the skin on his face was too tight. His nails were pushing against his fingers.”

In the show, the moon does affect the werewolves outside of the standard full moon. Lunatic and Party Guessed are examples of how new wolves react to their first full moons, but I think the most significant example is in Lunar Eclipse where they lose their power for the duration of the eclipse and the supermoon in season 5. 

You know what this makes me think of? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Everything changed when the Fire Nation -- you know what. No. I’ll refrain. 

While Scott panics about possibly shifting in front of Allison we switch to Jackson having a minor emotional breakthrough while he’s lost in the woods but he keeps up his own dickishness to himself. Jackson please seek therapy.

Speaking of, this passage of his is when he goes on to talk about how his parents had actually placed him in therapy before the school year started. Jackson, of course, seemed to take the wrong thing from it though. Not that his parents explained it well. Like, they try but give him the explanation of it being a check up. Be honest with your kid and they won’t up believing they need to hide their own feelings from themselves while also internalizing the idea you don’t think they’re good enough.

Jackson’s also such a snob. He makes the decision to further shut out the therapist when he sees the state school diplomas calling them “low rent”. This fucker. 

Jackson continues to be lost and while he’s wandering around calling himself an idiot and all but describing the toxic af relationship he has with Lydia. If your significant other is punishing you that’s a yikes from me bro.

As he wanders he finds a little baby hawk. I’ve yet to work out the metaphor but I am sure there is one.

Chapter 8 continues with Jackson’s misadventure. Some girl that I suspect of being a werewolf shows up. Her name is Cassie. She says shit like “Oh it’s a hawk. It’s a predator.” and has a startling amount of eyeliner around her eyes. Jackson bro, please just leave. The red flags are on the play.

Ugh, we have returned to the Kate narration. I have never loathed a fictional character the way I do Kate Argent.

Kate’s just here being creepily ammo-sexual like she’s about to attend a MAGA rally and being obsessed with Derek Hale. Girl, get a fucking life.

Once Kate has checked off those boxes on her to-do list she turns her attention to antagonizing Victoria and Chris about Allison. Chris doesn’t give an inch. 

Then Kate does perhaps the bravest thing anyone ever does in the Teen Wolf universe and calls Victoria by the diminutive Vicky. Victoria should’ve poisoned Kate’s chicken is all I’m saying.

“Victoria Argent smiled coldly back at her and checked the oven. The aroma of baked chicken tantalized Kate’s senses.”

Kate then chooses violence and decides she’s going to check on Allison’s study date. God, what a bitch.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned but the entire time Scott, Allison and Jackson have been in the woods there’s been the smell of smoke hanging around. Jackson’s private eye meet up even had a campfire. This has put Scott on edge because of his dream from earlier where the forest was on fire.

Scott is having a rare moment where he’s vibing with being a werewolf. He talks about being able to smell mushrooms and damp earth, Allison’s shampoo, the smoke and the rain in clouds. 

Tehehehe. “He heaved with a sigh of relief, chased by a little thrill as she looked over her shoulder at him. In the world of high school, cars were like portable bathrooms. Except he didn’t want their first time to be in a car.”

Allison’s keys go missing because of course they do.

Scott suggests they call Stiles to come get Allison but she insists on staying and rightfully points out it’s her car so she’d be fucked if her dad found out. Scott uses his wolfie power to try to find her keys without Allison noticing.

Chapter 9 starts with Kate trying to catch Allison in a lie. Remember she decided to call to check upon her? Lydia’s doing the most here with conference calls and lying her ass off. 

Lydia out here asking the real questions “What is up with your aunt?”

We move back to Jackson’s plot. He’s still lost in the goddamn woods but now with the girl Cassie as company.

She’s clearly meant to be a distraction to Jackson to keep him from going home.

Cassie continues to act fucking weird. She tries to make a deal with Jackson about not telling anyone about him freaking out about the baby hawk they encountered if he doesn’t tell anyone about seeing her. Not sus at all. 

She then kisses him.  

Jackson is understandably high key freaked out yet tries not to show it and is weirdly nice to her about it but she still disappears. 

The private eye guy Gramm shows up near the Porsche tries and Jackson calls him out saying he’s a scam artist. Gramm pulls on a ski mask and tells Jackson to ditch his phone while holding a gun on him. Jackson really has the worst time.

We’ve moved back to the Derek and Stiles side of the story. They’ve made it to the preserve and Derek smells smoke. 

Derek also leans his head out the window to catch a better scent prompting Stiles to say:

“I told you not to do that.” Stiles grumped. Then he said, “Oh. No tongue lolling, sorry. It’s just smoke. You can build fires in the preserve.”  He made a face. “You’re not big on smoke, I get that.” “You don’t know anything about me, so shut up.” Derek said. “Kinda do,” Stiles replied, “Wish I didn’t.” he said under his breath. “Just drive.” Derek said. 

Oh just kiss already.

In addition to Derek’s weirdness about humans I think this book may have influenced Derek being a luddite. Stiles loses Scott’s signal for the map app they’ve all been using so Stiles suggests they use Derek’s phone to which Derek says this:

“I don’t have a cell phone,” Derek informed him. He hadn’t imagined needing one. The reception at his house was practically nil, and he could pretty easily find Scott when he needed him. And aside from the Alpha, Scott McCall was the one person in Beacon Hills he needed to communicate with.”

His only valid point is that he didn’t want anyone to track him with it. It’s pretty funny how close Holder actually gets to the plot points actually used in season 1 without knowing it. 

But we shall never forget Derek is not actually a luddite. He does use technology and has a cell phone.

Derek’s ass is clenched so fucking hard right now. Like, I get things are tense and he’s dealing with the smell of smoke which is triggering him a bit but he’s mean to Stiles here in a way he wasn’t in canon. This whole section is just. Ugh. 

“What if you have a cold?” Stiles asked him, and Derek realized he wasn’t trying to be sarcastic. He was genuinely curious. Derek didn’t care. Stiles could stay curious.

“Derek had had it. He grabbed Stiles by the front of the sweatshirt and slammed him against a tree trunk. Stiles grunted hard, and Derek got in his face.”

Stiles is like What is Wrong With You to which Derek continues being a dick.

“I don’t know why I just don’t kill you.”

Stiles reminds Derek he’s not his enemy and Derek thinks he’s too weak to be his enemy but also concedes that Stiles could become his enemy by saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. 

For people who seem to think Derek hates Stiles in the show I would like them to compare and contrast. 500 word essay on the differences here and in Wolf’s Bane please.

The chapter ends with them coming across Allison’s car and it’s covered in the scent of the Alpha.

[blazeofnight]

PotO Italy (Trieste) review - Act 1

Disclaimer: I apologize in advance if I sound a bit defensive, but honestly, the amount of badmouthing the show is getting based on a few unofficial pictures and videos is astonishing and it gets old quickly (but I admit some of the memes are gold and I am enjoying them).

I have not seen other replica productions in full, only pictures, but I have seen the West End production in March. I do consider using Broadway/West End/replica productions as the one and true standard to judge non-replicas unfair in general, but I think it's fair to use them as a comparison to try and understand how these changes affect character dynamics and stuff like that, and to help in trying to understand the reasoning behind the choices made.

My visual memory is VERY poor, so if you've seen the show too and notice I remember something wrong please tell me so I can correct it!

This is almost 5000 words long, so please make sure you want to read it before clicking in the read more. Also please forgive any typos.

The one for Act 2 is here.

THE LOCATION

Il Rossetti was built in 1878 and is typical of the time, with a large stalls area on a gentle slope surrounded by open boxes, and two rows of balconies. During modern renovations they "opened" the boxes at the back to extend the stalls area, and these last rows are raised and angled to give you a better view of the stage. I have to say it is a good compromise to make an older structure more suited to modern audiences.

The interior is painted a rich lapislazuli blue with cream and gold trim, and the domed ceiling has some nice painted clouds. They have installed small lights that resemble constellations, the effect is very nice and they had the good idea of using it during Masquerade to great effect!

The foyer is also very nice, and there is a bar with good spritz at an affordable price.

We were seated in the second row of the raised stalls area, on the right side, and the view was great. Of course some details and expressions were lost, but unless you are aiming for a close and personal experience, it's a good view. There are some columns as you can see in the picture, bu they are thin and don't really obstruct the view in a significant way.

The audio control station was at the back of stalls, too, on the centre right (next to where I was seated), this meant there was a bit of light coming from them but it was low enough to not be a distraction.

I personally found the music to be a bit too high at times compared to the singers' voices, but it's something I think every time I see a live musical and when listening to the audios I take the voices are perfectly clear, so it's likely it's just me having some audio processing issue. The orchestra is 16 instruments, so reduced from the original but it still sounds nice.

There were subtitles! Two screens at the side of the stage with Italian subtitles, and also an app you can download on your phone for subtitles in English, Italian and German. I saw some folks using the app nearby and it looked like it was well synchronized, also since it was white subtitles on a black background the light was not really an inconvenience.

I saw the afternoon show on June 8th.

OVERTURE

The auction scene is pretty similar to the standard, the only difference is the attendants are seated with their backs to the public. Old Raoul is seated in the row closest to the audience, and he turns towards the monkey for his lines so we can see him in profile. The auctioneer activates a big lever switch on the wall to light up the chandelier, which raises over the centre of the stage instead of the audience.

Let's address this immediately: yes, the chandelier is smaller. It still looks nice, and if you're someone who never saw the show seeing it rise and move around is still a very good effect to open the musical with! The flashes of the chandelier's lights turning on and off at the beginning of the overture were timed to the music, which is a nice touch.

A cool idea that I think could use being improved was having the crash accident be replayed in reverse and slow motion during the chandelier rise! The idea is cool, and by using strong white back lighting it looks almost in black and white, reinforcing the idea of a flashback. BUT. This was done, I suspect, because during the chandelier crash you don't really see Christine and the other actors standing below it, which means that if you don't already know what happens it risks being confusing.

I think it could be easily be solved by having the auctioneer add a couple of lines when talking about the accident to make clearer that's what we are looking at and helping people who have never seen the show before connect the dots. It is a cool scene though! This is where the rotating stage-in-the-stage is used for the first time, and you get to see Buquet laughing maniacally while holding the fake lasso, dangling from a metal stair on the "back" of the stage.

HANNIBAL

We transition into the Hannibal rehearsals! I liked the ensemble costumes, they did remind me of actual early '900 opera costumes and the teal+gold combo is nice. Also, a couple of the soldier extras were ensemble actors wearing their regular suits with capes, fake armour and helmets on top of it, I loved it because sometimes rehearsals are just like that!

Image credit, via cdaae

Anna Corvino is a delightful Carlotta, her fake Italian accent is a delight and I loved how she incorporated some stilted acting that is very typical of early '900 Italian opera. It's a small detail but a very nice bonus for opera aficionados. You could really feel her exasperation when the background drop accident happened, overall she felt arrogant but not as entitled as other actresses I've seen in the role.

Piangi (Gian Luca Pasolini) arrives on a litter and stomps on a ballet girl (who understandably yelped loudly) when dismounting, I liked this detail to show he's a bit clumsy. The litter is also used instead of the elephant at the end, with Pinagi getting on it and the bottom giving out comically. Piangi was also suitably snarky towards Reyer in the Rome/Roma bit, and he did say "Amateurs!" while leaving with Carlotta.

Monsieur Lefèvre was dressed in a snazzy cream suit and he was quite funny, his anxiousness in leaving the theatre behind was palpable from the beginning and the little pause before changing topic when André and Firmin ask him why he's leaving was perfectly timed.

Ear Carpenter is clearly having the time of his life as André, and Ian Mowat is a suitably snarky Firmin with a likeable practical, no-nonsense attitude.

A special note for Rober Ediogu, the male dancer in this production: the scene was a bit cramped, but his grace and elegance are absolutely undeniable and he really gave the vibes of a consummate professional who has Seen Things while working at the Opera.

When Meg (Zoe Nochi) suggests Christine (Amelia Milo) for the main role, she physically pushes Christine to centre stage rather forcefully! Megstine fans will be happy to know this Meg is definitely the proud founder of the "Christine is awesome" fan club.

I agree that the Elissa costume could use a bit more oomph, but it was not bad at all. I think adding some vertical decoration to the skirt in a dark gold tone or big fake jewels would elevate it without making it feel too busy, but under stage lights it looks sufficiently nice and the teal fabric has a lovely shine to it that doesn't feel cheap.

An interesting change is that Reyer does not appear! You hear him speaking from a small orchestra pit on stage, and the actors are similarly looking at it, but he's not seen so you have this extremely annoyed voice coming from the depths of the stage.

THINK OF ME

If you were wondering if Amelia Milo can sing: yes she does, and quite well! In this song it's noticeable that her upper register could use being a bit stronger, but she's still quite young and I trust her voice will mature beautifully, Right now it has a very light, airy quality to it, very angelic. She can and does put more force behind it when needed later in the musical, but I think it suits this song beautifully. You really get why she gets to be a replacement on the spot!

The rotating stage is used again, this time with better lighting, and we get our boy Raoul (Bradley Jaden) being adorable and fangirling over Christine. For those interested in the brava/bravi discussion, Bradley says "Brava".

I don't have much more to say about this scene, I admit it isn't one of my favourites so I tend to get a bit distracted and just listen to the song.

Image credit, via cdaae

ANGEL OF MUSIC

Christine's room is extremely essential: one of the short sides of the rotating stage has been decorated with wallpaper and the mirror, hanging above Christine's vanity and chair. It is very simple but it works and the vanity has a nice lived-in feel to it. Christine has a nice white nightgown that looks similar to the original one, probably in plainer fabric but I wasn't close enough to notice. It's white, it has flounces, it's pretty, so close enough for me!

This is a very Megstine moment, they stand very close and touch a lot and Meg sounds genuinely worried but also happy for her friend. The vocals were very nice and I think Amelia really nails the hypnotized/transfixed aspect of Christine towards the Angel/Phantom, she had some great expression in this song.

Image credit, via cdaae

There is no Madame Giry (Alice Mistroni) rebuking the dancers for being sloppy before this scene, so when she comes to pick up Meg it feels more as if she's purposefully making it so Christine is alone. Meg leaves quite upset, stomping her feet and yelling "Rehearsals, rehearsals, ALWAYS REHEARSALS!" which I found quite funny.

LITTLE LOTTE

No managers bit, Raoul just arrives while Christine is reading. It took me a while to warm up to Bradley's Raoul but I ended up liking him a lot! He's going for a more adult portrayal, still enthusiastic and loving but a bit more level-headed. In this scene he's clearly leaning more into the enthusiastic side and it's a very nice and sweet interaction.

It is very clear that the memories he has with Christine are very dear to him. In this production it's Raoul who says "Those picnics in the attic" and he had a super tender, fond expression that was just the best. Just a very sweet scene overall, I really enjoyed it.

THE MIRROR

Oh boy, I loved this part! Christine had a suitable mix of awe and fear, the Phantom sounded extremely angry, almost growling "My triumph", and then becoming soothing and welcoming after seeing Christine's scared reaction.

Do you remember how the mirror is ABOVE Christine's vanity? It means that when the Phantom appears, he is literally towering over her (especially since Christine is kneeling on the floor), it makes for a very imposing entrance! The mirror is a bit opaque so when it comes up and suddenly you see the bright red of the cloak's lining it is a very nice effect. Christine has to climb on the chair and table to reach the Phantom, and then they disappear in the darkness, almost engulfed by it. It was all very pretty to watch and made for a great first impression of the Phantom.

Image credit, via cdaae

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

Ok, onto the bad part. Unfortunately, they didn't find a way to give something to do to the characters in this scene. The scene is quite dark, they cross the stage, then get out of a door and cross it again, disappear for a bit and reappear on a box on the upper level of the fake stage and sing there for a while, then a catwalk is lowered and they walk on it, then a very short boat ride. No candles, they used a holographic fake flame effect for the boat ride that resembled will-o'-the-wisp fires burning just on the "surface", and while I liked the idea it could be implemented better.

They definitely have to find a way to make this feel more like a descent into a dungeon, cave, whatever, and better effects to transmit the otherworldliness that Christine perceives. As it is now, it just doesn't work.

ETA: I forgot to mention, a lot of folks remarked how this song sounds played faster than usual. I suspect it might be because as I said they don't really know how to keep the actors busy, so shaving off 20 seconds or so is good for them. This is just a guess, though.

THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT

This has a lot of issues, too. The set is pretty sparse: the boat on the left, the pipe organ at the centre, and the Phantom's bed on the right, plus a nice background suggesting the passages and mazes that lead to the lair. I think a more gothic-looking bed and a couple more props could complete it nicely, but not too bad.

Unfortunately, once again they have to find stuff to do for the actors. The piece starts with the Phantom sitting at the organ and Christine standing a bit far away, looking at him. This isn't bad per se, it gives you the impression that Christine is trying to get a feel for the situation and what's going on and it makes sense, but... it goes on for too long. It becomes boring, the worst crime for a musical.

FINALLY he gets up and Christine starts getting nearer, they kinda circle each other and then the Phantom blows a candle in Christine's face after "Only then can you belong to me" and suddenly we're back to a more traditional choreography with the classical embrace pose. I really don't like it because it's pretty clear from watching that the candle blowing makes Christine suddenly change her attitude and behaviour and... it makes me think of a roofie, sorry. She's suddenly less scared, more agreeable, and at the end she loses consciousness. Nope nope NOPE.

On the good side, when Christine faints we get the catch and carry! All that crossfit Ramin is doing paid out! The Phantom gently lays Christine on the bed and covers her with her cloak, despite the unfortunate implications of what happens just before it is a sweet moment.

In general, Ramin played the Phantom as very gentle in this scene, you get the feeling of a genuine care and not wanting to scare Christine (magid drug candle apart). It reminded me a bit of the book, where the Phantom kidnaps Christine with the idea of having her spend a month or so with her, and then when she's got to know him reveal her his face because by then she knows him as a person and he hopes she'll stay by her own will.

Despite the issues, this scene got a BIG applause because Ramin did display an awesome vocal control, since his voice is on the warmer side I think it's a song that suits him a lot.

I REMEMBER/STRANGER THAN YOU DREAMT IT

In this version, the Phantom is aware of Christine being there and he lets her touch him, which makes the unmasking feel even more as a betrayal of sorts.

There is no Mandarin robe and no crawl, but the scene is suitably pathetic nonetheless. The Phantom is angry at the beginning, but it quickly turns more into a kind of sad resignation. I was really hit by the delivery of "now you cannot ever be free", it didn't sound like a threat but more like a sad realization that Christine has sealed her fate and thing will not go the way the Phantom hoped for. Immediately after that, the pleading in "fear can turn to love" is honestly heartbreaking. You get the feeling that he's trying to reach Christine, to make her understand, through the pain he's feeling.

At one point Christine falls on the floor, petrified, and scuttles away when the Phantom tries to get nearer, she does keep her distance a bit longer than I expected but then when the Phantom crumples on the floor she gets closer and tries to return the mask. the Phantom turns towards her, reaching out, but at the last moment turns away saying "No", and then gets the mask back while looking away from Christine.

The "come, we must return" bit is softer than I expected, too. He's clearly upset but tries not to show it and does not manhandle Christine, guiding her offstage gently.

Very pathetic, lots of self-loathing, 8.5/10 but only because there's no crawl, otherwise it'd be a solid 9 despite the staging.

MAGICAL LASSO

Man, this Buquet (Matt Bond) is unhinged! He clearly loves scaring the dancers, he has a WONDERFUL manic laugh. Madame Giry is her usual scary, ominous self. I did not mention it yet, but one of the high points of this production is the lightning. They use it quite effectively, especially to set the mood, and in this scene it was fantastically gothic and doomy. It's a short scene but it worked well to remind us that we are in a story with gothic elements, people will die, etc.

NOTES I/PRIMA DONNA

The rotating stage is slightly ajar, so you can see Meg finding a noose in box 5 (which in this production is at ground level) and playing with it during the scene before joining the others for her part. This means that a part of the stage is occupied by the fake stage, so unfortunately there's less space for the actors to move around.

This is just a minor quibble, everyone is very good in this scene with the usual amount of funny moments, over-the-top reactions, Raoul not understanding a thing, etc., Piangi was very supportive of Carlotta, Anna Corvino hits some very nice notes, the usual.

Carlotta's dress was way less snazzy than the original productions, but it did look nice (a dark-ish green with very dark velvet trimming) and fit well, also the train did take up a lot of space which fits the character and her large ego.

I loved that when André says "your public needs you" there is a longer beat than usual with Firmin saying nothing, then Carlotta turns towards him with a "weeell?" expression, and only then does Firmin rushedly say "we need you, too" with ZERO emotion, it was great! He was so DONE.

I also loved how they ended it: everyone went on the stage while it was slowly turning towards the public, ending up in the usual line facing the public and with the stage lights completely open, giving the impression they all really just stepped on the Opera's stage. It worked very well and did give me a beautiful moment of immersion and a reminder that the Opera, too is a character of sorts.

IL MUTO

I liked the staging! Overall it's slightly over the top, and the dresses are less glitzy, but the Rococò meringue-like look is still there and it works well. There is no bed but some decadent couches and ottomans instead, the background is on fabric with a big window showing a balcony and a nice garden. When the husband fakes his leave, he gets out of the door and behind the background where the window is, and then they change the lighting so it looks like he's standing on the balcony. It's simple but it adds some nice physical depth to the scene.

They do take a page from the movie here: when the performance gets interrupted by the Phantom Carlotta calls for her seamstress (with a super loud "SARTAAAAH!" we all enjoyed), who appears with a big perfume-like glass bottle and sprays Carlotta in the mouth, then everything resumes. Instead of croaking, Carlotta is more gasping for air as if her voice isn't coming out at all.

You can see the managers sitting in their box (there's no madame Firmin here) and André enjoying a nice bottle of wine, when Carlotta runs away in shame he jumps on the stage and does his bit as if tipsy and not 100% "there". I can see why Earl wanted to play the role, he's clearly suited to slapstick comedy and enjoying every moment of it!

So, André jumps in without a plan but knowing he has to do something, then he turns and sees they have a full house.. and no Countess... He manages to salvage the situation, mostly thanks to Firming feeding him suggestions from the box (I could clearly see him mouthing "ballet ballet BALLET!"), there's the usual ensuing confusion and then the male dancer LIFTS André to move him out of the way, while he's looking completely and utterly lost. It's great.

The dancers are not wearing separate outfits, just the "standard" white tutus. This is a clever way to have one less set of costumes to make, since they have moved up the ballet all of a sudden it makes sense for the dancer to not have changed yet, they probably were doing warmups and the like.

Instead of the Phantom shadows, we get the Phantom swinging wildly twice from one side of the stage to the other while laughing maniacally. It does work, because the third time it's the hanged Buquet that swings in instead, so when you see the rope for the third time your brain needs a second to register that this time something's different. My only complaint is that Ramin is clearly having a lot of fun and so his laugh isn't the most menacing xD

The scene ends the usual way, with more confusion, screams, Firmin trying to calm down the audience, and Christine and Raoul escaping to the roof.

WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE?

For this scene a walkway gets lowered to represent the roof, you can see the beams below which is nice. The background is a bit too dark and you can't really see it clearly, I think it's meant to show a dark night sky and the Paris skyline but it really is too dark to see what it should be, which makes it hard to understand they're on the roof. I hope they change it because it's the one blemish in an otherwise really nice scene. Christine has no special dress or cape for this scene, if I remember correctly she's wearing her Il Muto clothes + the nightgown but the rooftop scene had a lot of more interesting stuff to notice so I might be wrong.

Amelia really makes you feel how what just happened plus the kidnapping plus the revelation that her Angel of Music is a murderous weirdo is hitting Christine like a ton of bricks. She sounds so anguished at times! But luckily Raoul is there to help, which leads us to...

ALL I ASK OF YOU

Ok so, this is where this production starts to REALLY diverge character-wise. Are you ready? (Trigger warning: discussion of suicide, and mention of depression, if this might upset you please skip to the next song)

So, this song is no longer a lovey-dovey 4-minute long "I love you!" "I love you more!". It's Raoul talking Christine down from attempting suicide by jumping off the rooftop.

During the previous number, Christine grows more and more distressed, especially after hearing the Pahntom's "Christine", and she ends up at the very edge of the roof, clearly debating if it'd be better to jump. Why? you might be wondering. My theory is a mix of her getting depressed after her father's death and now having that final connection to her father severed, plus feeling responsible for Buquet's death. I did come out of this musical thinking that, the way it is in this production, the Phantom works excellently as a physical representation of Christine's depression. More about that later.

Raoul notices what's going on and backs off a little, giving Christine space. He sits on the edge of the roof, still giving her space but within arm's reach. Meanwhile, Christine has barely moved. She's standing on the edge, her shoulders hunched, hugging herself spasmodically, her hands white, her face turned down looking at her feet, or maybe at the pavement many, many floors below.

And Raoul starts the song, but now it hits differently. This time he's telling a girl feeling alone, depressed and suicidal that he'll be there for her, that he'll do what he can to make her feel safe, that he'll turn away the darkness. Not just the Phantom's darkness, but depression, too. He's seeing her at her lowest and saying "I still care for you, I still love you". Especially since at this point Raoul isn't really sold on the whole "the Phantom of the opera is real" thing, so from his point of view the real issue is Christine's depression, not a magical man in a cape.

And this gets through to Christine, and slowly, timidly, she starts to answer. "Turn my head with talk of summertime", she asks. Show me that there is a future filled with light instead of darkness for me, that I can get better, that I can live without this fear. Tell me that your promises are true, tell me that you'll stay at my side even when things get difficult and ugly, like now.

Yeah, it really got to me. This song is when I forgave this production (almost) everything.

When Christine starts singing, she's still completely still. She really looks like a statue, it's impressive the amount of anguish and desperation she projects by just being so still as if rooted in place, closed off to the world. Then, she slooowly starts to break her pose, first by looking at Raoul, who extends her a hand and... after a few seconds, she takes it and goes to sit beside him. She gets more animated as the song progresses, they hug, then the big kiss at the end.

I just realized as I was writing, this scene parallels Christine giving the Phantom his mask back, even the positions of the one offering help (Christine/Raoul) are the same as the one who has to accept it (the Phantom/Christine). It might be a coincidence, but I hope not because it would be beautiful. Where the Phantom rejects Christine's hand and help at first and accepts only to get up, close off completely and be separated from Christine, here Christine is much happier to receive help and this then leads to her and Raoul getting closer both physically and emotionally.

So everything's well, they lived happily ever after, etc., right? Right?

ALL I ASK OF YOU (REPRISE)

Ah, yes, the Phantom's turn to break our hearts.

The rooftop raises, revealing that just below where Christine and Raoul had their loving moment there's the chandelier... and the Phantom upon it. As he's singing he gets down from it, stumbles among the rooftop beams, and finally collapses on the floor holding his head in his hands when Christine and Raoul's happy voices echo in the distance. It's a very nice Phantom's breakdown, very vulnerable despite him having just killed a person. It really makes you feel sorry for him despite the situation (of his own making) he's in.

He then gets back to the chandelier, the roof rises again and the chandelier with it, the chandelier catches fire (well, not actual fire, it's a nice red smoke effect), the lightning changes to a nightmarish red, and you suddenly realize that there are red LEDs all around the stage's frame that are lighting up and making everything even more oppressive and quite infernal. The Phantom saws away at the chandelier's rope, until it comes crashing down.

Yes, the crash is less impressive than in the original. Yes, it's less clear exactly what is happening (I mean, that it's falling down on the Il Muto's bows). It's still a nice effect, the chandelier swings down towards the orchestra while the lights go on and off. If you've never seen the original, I think it can still make an impression.

I also think that this is less of a focal point for this production. For me, at least, AIAOY stole the show and in general, the emotional twists and developments were the real star of the show. It feels more like the chandelier's crash is there because it has to be, both for plot and marketing reasons.

Overall, the first act started a bit rocky, the two "big" songs have some major issues that need to be addressed, but once they got the characters going it picked up steam quickly. At intermission I was already feeling I got my ticket's worth back, to be honest.

I am working on part two, which covers the second act, the actors' performances, and some general/final thoughts. It'll be longer than this one, so I'll need at least a couple more days to finish it.

[capriciouscaprine]

good morning!!!!! I had good number news this morning!!! lotsssss of numbers below, just fyi

I haven't really talked about my goals or current numbers on here, in part bc I was worried that if that was one of the first things I posted, whatever flagging bot gets used on here (I know, it's mostly crusaders who go thru the tags and mass repo blogs that gets us distapeared) would see those things and I'd be on their no-fly list immediately

plus, there's something to be said for the fear of saying something out loud, when I've not been the sort of person to stick to hobbies and things before

BUT

last week, I hit a goal of $125.4 (iirc), which means I hit a simultaneous goal of a 'healthy' -$5/month for 15 months straight, for a total of -$75.00 from my starting balance of $200.00

which, I honestly was having trouble being excited about hitting that goal bc of our common habit of rounding up, so any decimals next to that number it feel like I hadn't actually hit it, and I had worked REALLY HARD to get there, including a multi-mile treadmill walk and everything

BUT

my check in day is monday (start the week off informed!); on tuesday the monthly obnoxiousness started, and most of us who experience that will skip check in days that are close to it bc it messes with our bodies so much, so our measurements will be inaccurate

then, last week was spring break for my internship, but it's only two days a week, so I spent two days last week almost entirely sitting at my computer, working on my course work

meanwhile, in the same week, I clocked THEE MOST hours at my almost entirely outdoor, moderately physical job in about six months aka since about mid-fall, as late fall thru early spring is our slow season and things are now picking back up; I spent the week planting seedlings, repairing fences, running around after babies, and doing deeper cleaning now that things are warmer and deep bedding isn't so much of a priority

which, I spent last summer consistently dropping without thinking too much about it, tbh, and I'm pretty sure now that it's bc of this job (there was other stuff like switching from regular ice cream to halo top, etc, but on the whole I wasn't doing things like counting and I hadn't even made this blog yet)

and for meals this week, I seemed to average just about 1k; some days were higher and others were lower, some days I felt like an unwilling black hole and others I was just... fine after eating a small lunch/dinner (I keep weird hours, it was the final meal of the day for me, idk); plus, no semi-fraught Easter lunch with my family

SO

that brings us to today's check in

$123.2

officially, for realsies, under that $125.00 goal, and also the amount I claimed on my drivers license bc I thought it was funny and it was only a little lower than my actual amount BEFORE UNIVERSITY, AND very genuinely really close to a secret goal I've had since I heard it as a song lyric in 11th grade: $120.00

I know, it's such a silly thing to base a goal off of, and really highlights just how pervasive unrealistic body standards are, that some man stated it as the measure of a fictional grown woman he was writing about who you KNOW he envisioned as being 'curvy' and taller than a literal child

but I'm still gonna hit it

and yep, I'm once of those people who have reduced their goals over time; you think a number sounds really low, and then you find out how much people who look the way you want to measure in at, and realize that if that's where you wanna be, this number isn't going to have you looking like that unless it's mostly muscle, and I'm for sure not mostly muscle

anyways, introspection on societal pressures out of the way, this morning's breakfast was a 1/3 of a cup of egg substitute (50), two low f 'canadian bacon' slices (20 each for 40 together), a slice of lite toast (45) with lite country crock spread (about 1/2 a tblsp, so half of 35), and my coffee (25), so that's a relatively high f and protein breakfast for just under 200 (and of course we round up to the bigger whole number!)

I was hoping to feel satiated from that, but it's not quite hitting like yesterday's grilled cheese did; ah, well, just one more data point to take note of!

now, fingers crossed I can finish this presentation before work this morning!!!

[natsu-tatsu]

Standards and Practices

I couldn't think of a better title. Do I need titles for these angry posts? Whatever no one's really messaging me so I guess it doesn't matter???

One that that makes me super pissy about hypnosis as a kink is how transient everyone is. Like, Hypnotists are a super minority of the population here vs. All the subs (or subby switches like me) so tists just kinda get to set the bar subs HAVE to meet if they want like... to participate in this kink.

Now MOST of you can use Files or even go under trance reading text post you lucky bastards. But I, and a good portion of subjects can't, we need an actual person on the other side running the show and not a prerecorded message.

I'm rambling somewhat but, my point is... There's a lot of low tier Hypnotists that either aren't very talented or trained, that get to demand all Subjects reduce ourselves and our standard to get their attention, or get NOTHING. Which is super fucked up when you think about it, considering how hyper niche being gay and into hypnosis is, A decent Hypnotist is already hard enough to come by, and even then your specific interests and other kinks might not be very compatible which sends you right back to the drawing board....

Long story short, a small population of our kink, not only gets to completely avoid having to be appealing or even skilled cuz their what we got, but then to boot, they're actively lowering subs standards, both for what we expect from tists as well as our own self treatment and how we maintain our boundaries and limits because it's their way or the high way.

Can we like, do something about that? As a community please?

[hamncheddar]

I miss IRL streaming. I’m gonna put this rig back to use next week while I have a visitor in town. In my experience, IRL streaming doesn’t have to look bad on a phone. Here’s some nerd shit about IRL streaming and why I have my setup the way that I do.

The standard for IRL these days is a LiveU encoder with a few 4G/5G modems connected to it. The benefit of this setup is not only using multiple connections, but it allows you to max out the quality of the camera you use for IRL. It allows you to use anything from a GoPro to a DSLR / Mirrorless camera for IRL. The liveU takes that camera’s HDMI or SDI output and sends it over the connections of the modems to a destination: typically a server somewhere that is running streaming software like you would at home to stream on Twitch or YouTube. Using this server (IRLToolkit for example) adds the benefit of automatically switching scenes to a "be right back" scene if your internet connection ever dips on the go. While this is the "standard" for IRL, the barrier for entry is pretty steep. The LiveU alone will run you $1k new, maybe $700-$800 used. Then, for it to be even worth the investment, you'd want to bridge at least two modem's connections which can be anywhere north of $40 a month per modem. That intermediate server will also run you a decent amount of money per month. I haven't sworn off the idea of adopting this standard some time in the future but for now, I am running a setup on a phone that has admittedly gotten to the point where I should have just done so ages ago. I use my iPhone 12 pro max for IRL, but on that phone I use an app called Prism to stream to IRLToolkit (just like the big boys do) over RTMP, rather than just streaming directly to twitch from, say, the streamlabs app. The video quality on an iPhone 13 pro max holds up to that of a high quality camera, as long as the right software and tinkering is behind it. The audio codec and noise cancellation on Prism do a good job with keeping the audio crisp, but I've recently made the addition of DJI's new lav mic system. I have yet to test this live, but I have used it just in the iPhone's camera app and it sounds great. Then, there is the gimbal. I am currently running the DJI osmo moblie 5. A lightweight stabilizer is something that even those running the LiveU setup don't have. On the left, I have an old pixel 3 running chat, alerts, and the IRLToolkit dashboard all at the same time. Since this requires very little data, this is doable just with a pay-as-you-go SIM card. Lastly, the box jutting off on the left is a LumeCube that is mounted in a cold shoe mounting block. This is just a small LED panel that I can spin away or toward me to keep my subject lit. Not pictured: I've got a JBL clip speaker to strap to my chest, which runs alerts and TTS (which I get in trouble for in public all the time. Shoutout to the guy who played a TTS out loud while I was in the security line at TwitchCon Amsterdam saying I volunteered for a cavity search). All said and done, the Gimbal costs $140, the extra phone plan costs maybe $30 a month depending on usage. The (unnecessary) mic system is $300. I do have a discount on the intermediate server with IRLToolkit because I know the guy who runs it (sue me - it's normally $120 a month and I won't say what I pay). You could run this same setup on the Prism app to stream directly to Twitch or YouTube, so the intermediate server service can be avoided (at the cost of your stream possibly going down when you lose connection). The upfront cost is really low and the ongoing cost is also relatively low. For someone that wants a better-than-average IRL setup, I think that going down a route like this or similar is something people should explore. It requires the least amount of knowledge for a relatively low amount of money. If you want to watch this stuff in action, as well as my studio space where I run my own twitch production full time - I'm live at http://www.twitch.tv/hamncheddar ched.tv for other socials

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Steamdeck OLED review/impressions

Thought I'd leave some points to my experience as I have been fiddling with it a couple of days now.

This is also, in some ways, a review of the Steam Deck as a system.

Screen

The Steamdeck has a screen which is pretty small by tablet standards today, but about the same size as the screen on the Nintendo Switch.

The OLED screen is nice and colourful. I no longer have my LCD to compare it to, but the extra few centimeters helps a lot.

I wouldn't recommend you upgrade just for the screen, however, as it is not that different from the LCD in terms of quality.

I have noticed no issues with my screen, I have seen lots of people report problems but I have identified no dead pixels or glare issues.

I am using a glossy screen with a glossy protector. I tried a matte screen protector, which helped significantly with glare, but it gave a glittery and grainy effect on the screen, so it had to be removed. The glossy protector did not affect image in any way. It was fiddly to apply all the protectors, but I got there in the end.

The good news is that the screen can go very bright, and if it is on high brightness then glare is never going to be an issue. So don't worry about which screen type you buy.

Battery

The Steamdeck has a pretty weak battery if you are running most PC games.

The LCD only lasted me an hour if I was playing Monster Hunter World or Balder's Gate 3, and if I played it to depletion, it would bug out on me. More on that shortly.

The OLED seems to have a much better battery. I have been doing a lot of low performance stuff, but I played L4D2 for over an hour earlier, and it only ate maybe 20% of the battery. I played some World today and it only ate another 20% in half an hour with a high performance game, so I think that this unit will do more comparably to the original Nintendo Switch. In all cases I had brightness maxed out.

On emulated games, if you're running gamecube or PS2, it is negligible, however if you run Wii U games it will eat a lot more power (understandably). The fastest drain for me so far was Xenoblade Chronicles X. The other Xenoblade Chronicles games can drain my Switch in an hour, so this isn't a surprise.

This was the main reason I upgraded. I don't mind having the original Switch with its poorer battery performance, but with the Steamdeck LCD it was so bad that the console was barely usable. This change may seem small, but it will make the Steamdeck much more usable for me. Especially as sometimes I am taking 6 hour flights on low voltage planes that struggle to charge my deck.

Performance

The Steamdeck can do most older games very well, but if you're aiming at something released in the past couple of years, it is going to struggle. It plays Monster Hunter Rise like a dream, and I swear that it runs Monster Hunter World better than it used to (the game was updated for deck), but Baldur's Gate 3 will look very ugly texture-wise. Then again, that game looks horrible on any computer that came out before 2021.

You will be playing most demanding games on the low to mid settings.

The irony is, while it looked horrendous, Baldur's Gate 3 performed better on deck than on my PC, and I believe this is because the game has high Memory costs. While my PC's processor and graphics card are superior, it only has 8gb of memory to the Steamdeck's 16gb.

I never played a game where the 8gb was an issue until Baldur's Gate 3. It only affected me if I was connected to lots of streams on Discord. I will compare again when I have my new mid range 32gb memory PC next week.

On the OLED, a game with low performance costs like Left 4 Dead 2 will happily push towards the 90 frames per second limit. Of course, you're going to struggle to get Monster Hunter World over 30fp unless the graphics are very low.

So the Steamdeck is about the equivalent of an entry level or mid range 2018 Gaming PC. It is outdated but it plays most of the classics well.

Controls

The steamdeck's control sticks are quite large, so they're not the best option for people with small hands like myself. However I reckon this makes the unit popular with its primary audience (adult men who struggle with the small controls of the Switch, which are perfect for me).

The haptic mouse pad is okay, but it is obviously no replacement for an actual mouse. It's slightly worse than a laptop trackpad, I think, but at least it continues to move a bit if you swipe it like a ballpoint mouse would, rather than only being "on" or "off". I report no issues with this item, it does everything you will need it to when controlling from desktop mode or with a pointer-based game.

The buttons are okay, I think the right hand buttons are too small and close to the joystick for comfort, and I think the back paddles are too large and the L5/R5 buttons are too low down. It's not exactly easy to click L5 with your baby finger if you have tiny hands like me. The xbox controller is a better option than the steamdeck base controls. It is unfortunate the console doesn't come with a stand like the Switch does, and you have to buy third party options.

What impresses me most is the gyroscopic controls built into the device. I thought playing a shooter like Left 4 Dead 2 would be impossible, but because of the gyroscope, my aiming is as good as any keyboard and mouse player! Just like when playing Breath of the Wild or Ocarina of Time 3D. Even though I can't control the joysticks very well. I don't need them for those fine little movements anymore.

I must add that the Gyro only works on its default settings if you are touching the centre of the right joystick, or the trackpad. I did not like this at all because I needed to move my thumb to press different buttons. Fortunately there was a community layout which enabled gyro at all times. I was able to change the sensitivity on the game's steam options. You may also be able to enable it or disable it permanently by messing around with your own settings.

Compatibility

The biggest obstacle to Steamdeck is the Linux operating system, which upon the console's release, had very little compatibility with most normal tools. Wii USB Helper, the Wii U emulation tool, was completely incompatible. And the reason most games need to be optimised for Deck isn't because of their actual performance costs, it's because they don't run well on Linux.

Originally when playing Devil May Cry 5, the game would crash for no reason, and playing Monster Hunter World, the textures would crash and you would be left surrounded by a glitched out void if the monster you were fighting did a move that the system didn't like.

I think that over the past year, with the popularity of Steamdeck, a lot of developers have taken to making their games run better on Linux. As for the above Wii USB helper tool, there is something called WiiUDownloader which does the same thing and is Linux compatible. So I have had a much better time.

Emulation

It was a huge pain in the ass setting everything up and troubleshooting, especially because of the closed-off technical lingo used in emulation circles. But Emudeck has been a great help in getting everything set up. It is all you need for Gamecube.

I have issues with emulation tools not searching the SD card where Emudeck is installed. They keep searching the "Home" directory for things like their BIOS. Either I need to manually write in the correct path, or it's impossible and I need to copy the bios onto the main Deck. I am not sure if this is an issue with steamdeck or the emulation tools themselves, but it was a pain.

The good news is when you finally have these games running, they play very well. I think some of them perform better on a dedicated gaming unit like the Steamdeck than they do on a Windows computer which has dozens of processes running at the same time.

Lots of work has been done with emulation tools since 2021 to give them maximum compatibility with Linux and Steamdeck, as they know this is the main portable platform for those tools now.

I have had plenty of success with PS2 games, Gamecube games, and Wii U games, once everything was set up to Steam ROM Manager and saved to Steam. You can use community controller layouts on Steam that make things way easier to set up than they would be on a Windows PC.

I haven't had any success with Yuzu, the Switch emulator. This isn't necessary for me but it just seems like it isn't finding the keys that Emudeck set up.

Docked mode

I have mostly experimented with this on my LCD prior to the latest update, but I have fiddled with it on the 3.5 update this Sunday.

I have a Toshiba LED Flatscreen TV from ten years ago. It has no issues with any consoles of any kind, though I've never tested it with a PC before.

It is 50/50 as to whether the Dock works. At first it wasn't reacting at all. Now it seems to be compatible on Gaming mode, this could be because I forced lower resolution for screen compatibility.

However, on Desktop mode, when I used the automatic settings, the screen was flickering black and turning off altogether. I searched online for a solution, but unfortunately nothing I saw was helping.

I saw that it was trying to run at 24hz 1080p. I couldn't change the framerate, but I lowered the resolution to 720p and it became locked at 60hz.

This seemed to fix the issue, but now the resolution is too small and there doesn't seem to be a way to force it to change without also lowering the framerate to unusable levels. Odd as I am pretty sure you can force Windows to a massive resolution and the text will just look very tiny on your screen.

I will attribute this to my TV being too old for a modern computer, and maybe it's just a 720p tv, as I have had no issues with the two LCD tvs that my dad owns. I'm not eager on the idea of replacing my TV just for the steamdeck, but if it has no issues in Gaming Mode, it's not going to be a priority anyway.

As for the controller connection, well, it was initially pain in the ass trying to get my xbox series x controller connected. For some reason the bluetooth wasn't doing the job. But after a firmware update on my controller, it went a lot smoother.

What I did not like was you couldn't wake Steamdeck from sleep with the controller.

I have heard this isn't a problem on the OLED, but I am sure a firmware update on the original Steamdeck could have solved the problem. And if not - Why? We have been using bluetooth controllers to wake consoles since 2006! I saw someone claim you can't wake a PC from sleep with a bluetooth controller, so I immediately tested it and... woke my PC from sleep. Why does the Steamdeck LCD have worse wireless functionality than the Nintendo Wii?

Overall

People ask on this sub if the console will replace their gaming PCs. In my case, no, as it has to be a very old gaming PC for the steamdeck to be more powerful.

Generally it hasn't replaced my Switch, either, as the Steamdeck's battery life is too limited for long sessions (or cafe gaming as I like to do), and it is a worse Multiplayer console than the Switch. Especially as I had to get the dock separately. The console's portability is limited by its great size, too. I have bought a special case that is smaller than the stock one, but it can only do so much.

However i have found the steamdeck to be useful when I am travelling with access to power outlets and want a gaming PC on the go when I am staying with my partner, or when I simply want to sit in a different room of the house and play Monster Hunter.

The OLED also has a nice screen that makes me choose to play some games on there instead of on my PC screen.

The gimmick of playing demanding Pc games on such a tiny console is fun, and the gyro functionality has opened a lot of options for me that I hadn't previously considered. Maybe it is time to return to DOOM.

I love my steamdeck. After I was happy with my OLED setup, I said goodbye to it and traded it in at CEX. I will transfer that love over to my OLED and even though it isn't immediately that useful, I will find a lot of use for it over the next year with my travelling.