#kind of !!

[cas-paradox]

i’ve heard it both ways. or something. whatever

[kingoftheladybugs]

Lego Monkie Kid gripped me by the throat yet again. Not actually shaded anything on my computer in like a year but l actually had fun with this

[mr-moonnnn]

throwing my pizza game fanart here while watching the finale jello stream hehehehehe

[pinkstilettos-onmyface]

Me, seeing Grelle in the new episode’s flashback sequence:

[thebitchesterbrothers]

Remember this?

I couldn’t stop thinking about about it, so …

I wrote something. Here it is.

_____________________________________________

Hob was waiting at the bar for about forty minutes now for Dream to finally show up for his shift.

It was a friday night and the inn was already packed with party loving students.

His employees were busy waiting tables and handing out beer at the bar…except for one employee. Dream.

When Hob had reopened the inn, after completely renovating it, he had hired Dream as a bartender right away. He had experience, his drinks were amazing and a hit with the students and it didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes too. Not that that was the reason Hob hired him in the first place but hey, Hob had eyes.

Eyes that just loved watching Dream shake his drinks and look bored while doing it.

Before starting to work at the inn Dream was working for an expensive restaurant in a posh part of London. Hob should’ve been suspicious why a guy like Dream would give up that job for the inn.

Now he was convinced that Dream must’ve been close to being fired for his missing work ethics at his old job.

He was constantly late for his shifts without any explanation or excuse for his boss. He drank his fair share of shots while working. He went home an hour before his shift ended without saying anything to anybody.

He ignored customers he didn’t like. He smoked cigarettes in the kitchen and weed behind the building.

But still Hob couldn’t bring himself to fire him.

Every time he planned to confront him and have a serious talk with him … he just couldn’t bring himself to actually do it.

He would make up random excuses in his head for Dream's behavior. Maybe he was going through a hard time? Maybe he didn’t know better? Maybe he wasn’t feeling comfortable around his coworkers?

And despite his problematic attitude the customers loved him. They were all too happy to spend their hard earned money on fancy and more expensive drinks instead of cheap beer just so they had the chance to talk to the hot bartender.

Dream would gift some of them with a playful smile and get a ridiculous amount of tips in return.

It drove Hob absolutely insane. It drove him insane that he would do the exact same thing to make Dream smile at him like that.

He was well aware of his stupid crush on his employee. He knew it wasn’t very professional.

He was aware that this crush was the real reason he had not fired Dream yet. He wasn’t proud of himself, thank you very much.

Dream was in his twenties and more beautiful than anyone Hob had ever seen. He had that mysterious aura and eyes to get lost in.

Meanwhile Hob was a history professor in his thirties who spent too much time in his own bar ogling his employee. He was quite a few years older than the object of his desire and not nearly as attractive as Dream. He never would have a chance with him and he had accepted that months ago. It still hurt sometimes.

Not that he knew what exactly Dreams' type was. Women? Men? Both?

As much as everyone flirted with his bartender, Dream never took anyone home as far as Hob had noticed.

„Nice of you to finally show up, Dream!“, one of his waitresses interrupted Hobs thoughts.

Dream had just come through the back door, tying a black apron around his slim hips, looking bored and not apologetic at all.

„Dream! A word?“, Hob turned around towards his office without waiting for an answer. As expected, Dream followed slowly, clearly not in a hurry.

Hob sat on the edge of his cluttered desk, crossing his arms, watching Dream closing the door behind him. Did he lock it?

Before he could say anything, Dream beat him to it.

„What is it, boss?“ God damn, that voice.

„Dream, you’re almost an hour late. Everyone was waiting for you. You do whatever the hell you want. I should fire you, you know“, Hob sighed.

At that Dream smirked, stepping closer to Hobs desk and between his outstretched legs.

„Yes, yes you should. So tell me…why haven’t you fired me yet? Hmm, Hob? Why do I still have my job?“

Hob didn’t have a satisfying answer for him. Dream came even closer, his legs touching the inner side of Hob's clothed inner thighs. He could still feel the warmth of the other man through his jeans. How was he supposed to think like that?

„Hob…I mean boss…I think we both know why I still have my job. You just enjoy watching me behind the bar a bit too much, don’t you?“

Oh how Hob hated this arrogant little prick. How he hated that he was right.

„Oh Hob“, Dream smiled and tucked a strand of Hob's hair behind his ear. If Hob would just tilt his head a little to the left his nose would touch Dreams slightly stubbled cheek.

„Dream, this is highly inappropriate…“ Hob managed to force out. He should stop this. He should push him away. He was the boss, Dream was his employee.

Dream‘s eyes crinkled with mirth and raised his dark eyebrows.

„Very inappropriate, yes. Seems like you have to fire me after all, boss.“

Before Hob could react to that, Dream had cupped his face in his hand, his other surprisingly strong arm snaking around Hob‘s waist, pulling him closer into his chest before their lips met in a kiss that made Hob lose every single thought he just had.

Dreams' lips tasted of rum and irresponsibility and Hob decided that he would never get enough of it.

‚I never was a good boss anyway‘, he thought to himself before pulling a laughing Dream up the stairs into his flat. Dream was late anyway, what difference would a few more hours make?

[hazyla]

It’s finished

Now I have a little needle holder.

I can also give them a lollipop and idk I thought the curved needle would look like a cutlass but it it just doesn’t

[mychlapci]

Hfkhduf prowl being so bad at fucking is great I am petitioning for the origin story of prowl/twins to be that one day he finally had enough of their shenanigans and decided he was going to put them in their place. And obviously the way to do it in which these heckin brutes would understand and respect was that he was going to fuck some respect into them

He summons them to his office for their disciplinary action. The twins actually secretly (to prowl at least) find angry Prowl really hot so like when he grabs Sideswipe and slams him face down onto the desk, aft up whilst his pedes remain on the floor, the twins share a look like Oh O///O. This is happening huh.

Prowl has Sides held down in an arm lock as he knocks on the twin's valve panel, ordering him to open it. Sideswipe makes a show of pretending to be a nuisance for a bit before he gives in with a wiggle of his hips and lets his panel slide open. To be honest he's already a little bit wet. This is quite exciting ;3

Sunstreaker obediently stands before Prowl's desk for once, watching. The scene is getting him a little heated up. He needs to keep appearances up tho and dismisses the ping to open his panels.

Prowl growls threats into Sideswipe's audial, loud enough for Sunstreaker to hear as well, sender a shiver down their spinal struts.

But then Prowl shoves 2 digits into Sides' valve and the frontliner actually jumps a little. That kind of Hurt. He barely has the time to frown before those digits move inside him. What hits him is immediately Discomfort. Somehow Prowl manages to move his servo in a way where he kinda just. Hits all the wrong spots. Like maybe he's trying to claw Sideswipe inside out or something. The red twin winces and watches Sunny mirror a similar expression.

Okay maybe this wasn't going to be as exciting as they thought. Maybe this was actually going to be an intentionally unpleasant punishment.

Prowl manages to shove another digit in and catches the sensitive mesh of Sideswipe's valve slightly, making him yelp in pain and reflexively clench down on those digits.

"Oh you like that, do you?"

Sides can see his brother grimace at the display as he tries to reply, "With all due respect sir, n-aAA" and gets cut off by another awkward and uncomfortable thrust of digits

The brothers' optics meet in genuine confusion for a bit, wondering whether whatever is happening is intentional or not

Before they can decide, the digits are withdrawn- Sideswipe heaves a sigh of relief- before they hear the clicking of Prowl's modesty panel retract and the tip of his spike pokes against Sideswipe's valve

Prowl braces one servo on the small of Sideswipe's back and the other on the desk as he pushes himself in. Sideswipe can feel the tactician shaking as he does. At least that feels pretty good. His valve is filled and he relaxes onto the desk, arching his back and pushing his hips back against Prowl's just slightly

Sunstreaker also seems to relax a little then. Like oh okay this is fine. His brother looks comfortable. Maybe this could still be fun?

The tiniest jerk of Sides' hips has Prowl gasping. He struggles to steady himself and grips the edge of his desk until it dents. Now he's got the twins where he wants them. Now they'll see-

Prowl suddenly pulls his hips back and begins to thrust into Sideswipe. The red twin's optics- that he didn't even know he had offlined- refresh and cycle with a start. Prowl slams into him with uneven and awkward thrusts, making Sideswipe squirm and yelp in some kind of shock or. Or something.

He catches his brother's optics again and Sunny stares at him with what can only be described as Discomfort

Sunstreaker watches as Prowl shakily ruts into his brother with all the finesse of a cyberdog on engex. His doorwings are already quivering and it looks like he has trouble even keeping his optics unshuttered

Sideswipe guesses its not too bad...? It doesn't hurt. But it's not exactly good either- The charge does build though. Slowly. He tries to focus on the friction in his valve and helps by canting his hips and pushes back against the uneven thrusts. Maybe if he could just-

With no warning, Prowl suddenly gasps and stiffens, hot fluid suddenly painting Sideswipe's insides. And then he slumps over, vents whirring noisily

Everything is quiet for a bit. The only sound in the office their fans and the hums of their engines.

".......that's it, sir?" comes Sideswipe's little quip and Prowl looks up, doorwings immediately shooting up into the most vertical position Sunstreaker has ever seen

"That's it?! What do you mean that's-"

Sunstreaker, at this point, honestly confused as to whether he should find this arousing or not, gives Prowl a flat look. "You heard him."

"Wh- What do you- You are supposed to be-"

Sides clenches his still aching valve around Prowl's depressurising spike and relishes in the way Prowl yelps and immediately pulls out with a shiver

"Like. Is this our punishment, sir? To be unsatisfying half fragged and then left out in the open? Cos that's cold even for you, sir" Sideswipe looks over his shoulder this time and watches as Prowl's optic twitches in time with a doorwing.

Oh he's pissed.

"I did- I did everything necessary and overloaded your insolent-!"

Sunstreaker interrupts with an unamused scoff. "You think my brother overloaded?"

Prowl stares back, optic twitching again

"From that? Really?" comes Sunny's next question and Prowl looks like he's ready to tear them a new one. If his legs weren't still shaking, that is

"Want us to show you what a real fragging is~?" Sideswipe wiggles his hips, Prowl's transfluid slowly dribbling out of his valve. "You know- my brother and I could show you ;3"

oh my god. i’m almost getting secondhand embarrassment. Prowl is so embarrassing!!! god.

Yeah. He thinks he’s so hot. A big scary daddy dom who’s going to finally fuck the twin terrors into submission. And hey, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe also think that’s what’s going to happen, and they’re very much into it.

It’s so funny, really. All of Prowl’s facade is gone as he starts to awkwardly hump Sideswipe, covered in his own coolant and clearly so strained and turned on, while Sideswipe and Sunstreaker just kind on... watch on. It almost looks like Prowl is getting the hold of it, when he suddenly cums, just a couple minutes into the "punishment."

It’s so sad... poor thing thought he made Sideswipe overload, the twins feel pity for him. They better teach him how to fuck better. First they ruin his valve in the very same way he tried and failed to ruin Sideswipe’s. They gotta show him what a good spiking feels like first, that it’s not all about humping a valve like a sealed bot straight off the factory line.

And then they better start training Prowl. Maybe they teach him how to mount on command. Forcing him to stay still inside of Sunstreaker’s valve while he trembles and fumes because he can spike him, if you’d just let him move, he can do it. But when he tries, Sideswipe grabs his hips and squeezes. Maybe they have to make him wear an overload inhibitor to make sure he lasts longer than a minute and a half inside of a valve.

Oh it’s definitely a long road, so many possibilities...

[sparebutton]

(Across the Spider-Verse spoiler)

[guarddogbutch]

you guys need to be normal about people who don't like penetration. people who don't get hard easily. people who finish quickly. people who participate in kink without having sex. people who don't like being touched. people who don't like giving head. people who only like penetration. people who (almost) always squirt. people who take a long time to cum. people who have a hard time getting wet. people who don't talk during sex or anything else that is not part of the way you think people or bodies should behave during sex

[dougielombax]

I wonder what the largest shellfish is?

Edit: Okay this post is getting a LOT of traction. What is going on?

Edit: Fucking hell.

This post has set off a fucking MINEFIELD!!!

What have I DONE????!!!!!

I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to run to!

I’ve summoned a wolf only to unleash a tiger!!!!! Made of fire! And nails.

Probably….

Idk.

Edit 2: 5,000 Notes! Good god! What the HELL do you want from me. I’ve never had a post of mine take off like this until now.

Some got close like the one about homeowner associations (fucking powertripping middle aged mediocrities!) which got at least 1.5k notes but this is the most I’ve gotten on a single post so far.

Anyway.

AND this post has officially gone to hell. (6,666 notes)

Edit: 8,000 notes! Holy shit!

Edit: 9,000 notes!!!

Edit: 10,000 notes!!!!!!!!!

Edit: 15,000 notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit: 20,000 Notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO THE HELL TURNED OFF THE REPLY THREAD FOR THE REBLOGS?!

Okay never mind it’s back. For now at least.

Anyway.

[owainigo]

nightmare

[kleinergeist]

I'd like to introduce to everyone this horrid thing I created about a year ago but haven't shown many people yet (probably for the best).

This is Baby. AKA The Monster. AKA Sight Tremendous and Abhorred, AKA Vile Insect, AKA A Thing Such As Even Dante Could Not Have Conceived, etc, etc. It's made from bits of scrap fabric I scrounged from various sources and is roughly the size of a human toddler. Its design is based on Mary Shelly's original descriptions of Frankenstein's creature.

But that's not all! Behold!

You can dissect this little abomination to reveal a full set of crocheted, knitted, and scrap fabric organs, all hand-stitched by yours truly!

It has a heart, stomach, lungs, liver, small and large intestine, kidneys, bladder, and, of course, a brain! So it can ponder the horrors of its own existence!

I used this pattern by Less Than Three for the heart. I ended up felting it because I screwed up most of the stitches (I was relatively new to crochet at the time). The result was a bit of a blobby mess, but oh well.

So yeah. This thing lives in my house now (my family hates it). I have yet to reap the full consequences of my hubris.

[punkitt-is-here]

guess who stumbled into something fascinating last night

[wizardpotions]

Every culture in all of human history was so right about carbs and fat together being a blessing upon earth. Eating bread with butter knowing I am partaking in one of humanities biggest shared joys

[nerdynuala]

Here, I also made it into a gif:

Radiorose based on this video that was going around some time ago

Because they would be the two bitches that do talk shit about everybody

Anyway I love these two so much it kinda hurts. Which I'd say is a normal amount

I prefer planotic, but gimme everything there is about them and I'll eat it up in every sauce

! About reposting: please don't just repost, ask me by dropping a message or whatever. I usually don't mind but I'd like to know first

[bklily]

The difference between the TWST servers after this recent March update has been incredibly funny.