#kinda shut down and not react / think just give the answer she want and shut up

[softceleste]

God, my social problems class is gonna be ROUGH.

[marsdql]

Omg I loved the Heeseung boner fic 😭😭😭 can you pls write one where he actually cvms in his pants bc of his innocent bestie like she just wants to be close to him and he can’t control himself AT ALL

Heheheh anon anon hehehehehe smirk smirk idk if I should continue this tho lmk cuz it’s kinda short and not very detailed

You didn’t think twice when you plopped down next to Heeseung on his bed, blanket in tow and eyes still sleepy. Movie night turned into half-whispered conversations and now this—your head on his shoulder, legs tucked under you, fingers absentmindedly tracing the seams of his hoodie.

Heeseung swallowed hard.

You weren’t doing anything wrong. Not really. You were just… close. Sweet. Warm. So damn innocent it was driving him crazy.

“Your hoodie smells nice,” you mumbled, nose brushing the collar near his throat.

His breath hitched.

“Yeah?” he said, voice lower than usual. “It’s yours if you want it.”

You smiled up at him. “Really? You’d give it to me?”

He nodded, jaw clenched. “You can have anything, baby.”

You blinked, not catching the weight behind his words or the name he’s been constantly using on you.

Then you moved, curled closer to him, hand slipping under the blanket to wrap around his waist. Your cheek rested over his chest now, soft breaths brushing through the fabric. Like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Heeseung felt his body react instantly.

Shit.

His hand twitched on his knee, fighting the urge to touch. To grab. To pull you right into his lap and grind out the need that had been gnawing at him all night.

You let out a little hum, nestling closer. “You always make me feel safe.”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

He didn’t deserve that. Not with the way his cock was pressing up against his boxers, hot and needy, already leaking. From just this. Just you.

“Baby,” he whispered, tight and breathless.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t move.”

You stilled. “Why?”

He let out a broken chuckle, half a moan, half regret. “Because if you keep doing that, I’m gonna—”

But then you shifted again, just slightly, your leg brushing over his. it was too much. He gasped — low, strangled, as a sharp wave of pleasure crashed through him. His hips jerked before he could stop them, and then—

“Oh—shit—” Heeseung groaned, hand flying to his thigh as his release hit, sudden and overwhelming.

You froze. “Hee?”

He dropped his forehead to your shoulder, panting. Embarrassed. Shaken.

“Don’t look,” he mumbled, voice thick and hoarse. “Just… stay here a second. Please.”

“…Did you just—?”

He nodded against you, not daring to meet your eyes.

You blinked, stunned. “From cuddling?”

He let out a soft, wrecked laugh, unable to even answer you.

[rosemariiaa]

03 ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅs

𐙚—pairing: Paige x Azzi

𐙚—rosie’s note: i was being nice with the fluff and ok ok ik i said i was gonna post last night but you guys know i just talk a lot.. sooo good morning (it’s 5) and here you go!! this is just one flashback and it’s kinda just a filler so sorry but next chapter..juicy asf, send live reacts please i love them!! tysmm for 800+ roses ily kisses, happy reading lovelies 💌

𐙚—links: rosie’s bookshelf, series masterlist, prologue

𐙚—themes: angst, hurt/comfort, acl tear, language, fluff

𐙚—taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @bueckersbitch @imaginespazzi @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @juspeaks @pazzilover101 @lupinqs @kmoneymartini @pbaz7 @absolutelydreadful @patri-ots87 @ashortyluvsports

enjoy!!!

USA Basketball U18, Colorado Springs 2019

The gym is loud—sneakers screeching against polished wood, the low hum of the crowd settling into her bones. The air is thick with sweat, adrenaline, and something else—something heavier. It presses against Paige’s chest, curling tight around her ribs.

She blinks hard, her body jolting forward.

She knows where she is. 2019.

Her stomach drops.

This is the game where Azzi tears her ACL.

A chill creeps up her spine despite the heat of the gym. She spots Azzi easily, cutting through the defense—sharp, quick, deadly. Damn, she’s good. Paige swallows hard.

She could stop this.

She should stop this.

But Azzi drives to the basket, her movements effortless, fluid. She leaps for the layup, stretching toward the rim. And then it happens, a defender slams into her mid-air. Azzi’s body twists awkwardly.

She comes down wrong and her right knee gives out.

The pop is sickening.

Paige doesn’t hear the whistle, doesn’t hear the gasps from the crowd. All she hears is the scream. Azzi’s scream. It cuts through the noise like a blade, sharp and panicked, laced with pain in a way that makes Paige’s stomach churn.

She’s moving before she can think, shoving past bodies, dropping to her knees beside Azzi. “Hey, hey,” she rushes out, reaching for her. Azzi’s hands are gripping her knee, her face twisted in agony.

“Paige,” Azzi gasps, her voice strained and broken, thick with something Paige never wants to hear from her—fear. “Something’s wrong. I—I felt it pop—”

Paige’s stomach lurches. “Okay, okay, just breathe, Az.”

Trainers rush over. Coaches bark instructions. The crowd is silent. But all Paige can focus on is Azzi—Azzi shaking, Azzi gripping her wrist like she’s terrified of letting go.

Paige squeezes back. “I got you,” she murmurs. “I got you, okay?”

Azzi doesn’t answer. She just squeezes her eyes shut.

And then, she’s gone—taken away by the medical staff, leaving Paige kneeling on the court, her hands curled into fists against the hardwood. She could’ve stopped it.

But she froze.

And now, the damage is done.

—

The hospital room is too damn quiet.

Azzi stares at the ceiling, fingers twisting into the blanket draped over her legs. The faint beeping of a heart monitor in the hallway fills the silence, but it’s not enough to drown out the weight pressing against Paige’s ribs.

Azzi’s mom is sitting near the door, phone clutched tightly in her hands. She keeps checking it, jaw clenched, leg bouncing. She had called Tim over and over, but the reception at his basketball camp was awful. He didn’t answer until it was already too late.

Paige can still hear the way Katie’s voice had cracked when she finally got through to him.

“She tore it,” she had whispered, barely holding it together.

Silence.

Then, finally, Tim’s voice, hoarse and uneven: “No.”

Paige closes her eyes. Even through the phone, she could hear the heartbreak in his voice. The helplessness.

He had cried for four days . He had nearly gotten sick when he called back.

Azzi hasn’t said a word since the doctor confirmed it—the ACL tear.

The feeling is worse than the first time paige experienced this.

She watches as Azzi shifts slightly, wincing at even the smallest movement. The cast on her leg feels too big, too final, the kind of thing that makes it impossible to pretend this isn’t happening.

Paige swallows, chest tight. She doesn’t know what to say—what the hell is there to say?

This is Azzi’s worst nightmare.

And Paige has lived it twice now.

The first time had been unbearable. Sixteen and seventeen, sitting in another hospital room, staring at another blank wall while Azzi fought to keep from breaking in front of everyone.

Paige had been there through all of it—the surgery, the rehab, the quiet frustration when Azzi’s body refused to move the way she needed it to. The nights where she’d swear she was fine but Paige would catch the way her fingers dug into her hoodie sleeves, the way her breath hitched when she thought no one was listening.

Paige had sworn to herself that she wouldn’t have to see Azzi go through it again.

She had convinced herself that it was over. That they’d gotten through it.

And yet—

Here they were. Here she was, not by choice though. She has no idea why she is even in this flashback and not trying to keep Azzi away from- Azzi shifts, drawing in a shaky breath. “I don’t—” She stops, pressing her lips together, shaking her head.

Paige leans forward forgetting her thoughts. “You don’t what?”

Azzi swallows hard. When she finally looks at Paige, her eyes are glassy, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”

Paige doesn’t hesitate. “You heal. You come back stronger.”

Azzi lets out a hollow laugh, swiping at her eyes. “You make it sound so simple.”

Paige exhales sharply. It’s not simple. It never was.

But Azzi is Azzi—fierce, disciplined, unwilling to let anything keep her down.

Azzi stares down at her knee, her jaw tight. “I was so careful,” she mutters. “I did everything right. And still—” She gestures toward her leg, voice cracking. “Still, this happened.”

Paige hesitates, then leans in. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now,” she says carefully, “but this doesn’t change who you are.”

Azzi scoffs, her fingers tightening around the blanket. “Doesn’t it?”

“No.” Paige shakes her head, firm. “You’re still the hardest worker I know. You’re still Azzi.”

Azzi’s jaw clenches. “You say that like it’s enough.”

Paige meets her gaze. “It is enough, I promise”

—

Few weeks later (still in 2019)

Azzi’s basement has always been my second home, it actually makes me happy to be here again. Her parents always say they should start charging me rent. Not that I’d pay, but still. I’m sprawled out on the floor, a half-empty pint of ice cream balanced on my stomach, while Azzi is curled up on the couch, wrapped in way too many blankets, her knee propped up on pillows. Frozen is playing on the TV, and even though she’s still in recovery mode, she looks pretty comfortable.

I, on the other hand, am suffering. Because Azzi is ignoring me.

And I can’t let that slide.

I turn my head and watch her pretend to focus on the movie, her eyes locked on the screen like she’s actually paying attention. Which, okay, maybe she is, but that’s not the point. The point is, I don’t like being ignored.

So, naturally, I poke her arm.

No reaction.

I poke her again.

Still nothing.

I narrow my eyes. “Azzi.”

Silence.

I scoot closer. “Azziii.”

Azzi exhales slowly, like she’s meditating through the pain that is my presence.

Challenge accepted.

I nudge her knee. “Az Az Az Az.”

Azzi finally turns her head, eyes dark with warning. “What.”

I grin. “Hi.”

She stares at me for a long moment. “…Get out of my house.”

I gasp, clutching my chest like she just personally wounded me. “After everything I’ve done for you? The ice cream? The emotional support? The world-class entertainment?”

Azzi deadpans. “You tickled me all last night.”

I smirk. “To cheer you up.”

“You almost killed me.”

I hum, tilting my head in fake thought. “Mmm. Jury’s still out on that one.”

Azzi glares. “I hate you.”

I beam. “Love you too.”

She groans, sinking deeper into the couch like she can escape me.

She can’t.

Because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being a persistent pain in the ass. I lean over slightly, watching her pretend to focus on the TV again, and poke her cheek.

She smacks my hand away.

I poke her shoulder.

She smacks it away again.

I poke her arm. “Hey.”

“I swear to God, Paige—”

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” I sing, voice purposely awful.

Azzi finally looks at me, expression blank. “If you don’t shut up, I’m using my crutches as a weapon.”

“Violence?” I gasp. “From you? I’m shocked.”

She rolls her eyes, but I don’t miss the way she hides her smile behind the blanket.

I take that as a win and scoot even closer, fully invading her personal space. “Wanna watch something else?”

Azzi shakes her head, gaze flickering back to the TV just as Olaf waddles onto the screen. And I swear, she softens.

“You love him,” I tease.

“I don’t—”

“Yes, you do. You wanna build a snowman so bad.”

She grabs a pillow and chucks it at me without hesitation. I let it hit me right in the face, because honestly? Worth it.

We fall into a comfortable silence, the kind I know she needs. The kind I’m willing to give her—until I decide she’s had enough peace.

I nudge her side. “You doing okay?”

Azzi shrugs, fingers picking at the blanket. “Yeah. I mean, not really, but yeah.” I nod, waiting a beat before smirking. “Want me to start singing Let It Go to cheer you up?”

She doesn’t even hesitate. “Paige, pleas—”

I cut her off, launching into the most dramatic, off-key performance of my life.

Azzi groans, dragging the blanket over her head like it’ll save her.

It won’t.

Because yeah, she’s going to have her bad days.

But me? I’m not going anywhere.

A few minutes later, the movie’s still playing when we hear footsteps coming down the basement stairs. I don’t think much of it—probably Katie checking in or Jose grabbing something—but then I hear a familiar voice, and suddenly, my mood plummets.

“Yo, Azzi!”

I swear I hear Azzi sigh before she even turns her head.

Jose comes into view first, hands in his pockets, looking way too amused for my liking. He steps aside to let Jake through, and I watch as Azzi shoots her brother a look that practically screams Why’d you let him in here?!

Jose just shrugs, grinning like this is the funniest thing ever. “He asked for you.”

Azzi closes her eyes for a second, like she’s praying for patience. Meanwhile, I shift up from my spot on the floor, propping myself up on my elbows, already annoyed.

Jake’s got that usual smug, overconfident energy as he plops down on the other end of the couch, way too close to Azzi’s feet. “Damn, Azzi. You still out of commission?”

Azzi glances at me for half a second, then back at him. “Yep. Still injured.”

Jake leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his expression all concerned—or at least, his version of it. “That’s rough. You need anything? I can grab you some food, bring you something from Chipotle—”

Azzi cuts him off before he can get too comfortable. “Nope, I’m okay. Paige and I already ate.”

I smile at that.

Jake barely reacts, like he didn’t even hear her. “Well, if you ever need somewhere else to hang, I was thinking—”

Azzi interrupts again. “Me and Paige were actually gonna start another movie soon.”

I grin at that.

Jake doesn’t get the hint. “Right, right. But listen, there’s this beach party in a couple weeks—”

I already heard this once before, yeah, no. Not happening.

Before he can even get the full invite out, I sit up straighter, eyes wide with fake realization. “Oh, shoot! Azzi, don’t you have, like… a full week of rehab that week?”

Azzi catches on instantly. She tilts her head, playing along. “Oh, yeah. Right. Full week. Super intense. No free time at all sorry.”

I nod. “Yeah, it’s really important.”

Azzi nods solemnly. “The most important.”

Jake frowns. “Oh. Well… maybe another time then?”

Azzi offers the most unconvincing, “Yeah, maybe,” I’ve ever heard. Jose snickers from the doorway.

Jake finally, finally seems to realize he’s not wanted, because he pushes himself up off the couch, forcing a laugh. “Alright, alright, I get it. You two are busy.”

Azzi gives him a thumbs-up. “Super busy.”

I beam at her.

Jake just sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright, well, see you later, Az-” He quickly glances at me and clears his throat, “My bad, bye Azzi.”

Yeah cus you know.

Azzi nods. “Mhm.”

He throws me another glance before heading upstairs, and the second the basement door shuts behind him, Jose loses it, doubling over with laughter. “Oh my god.” He shakes his head, looking at Azzi. “You’re so mean.”

Azzi shrugs, completely unbothered. “I’m injured.”

I snort, leaning back into the couch. “Yeah, Jose. Have some sympathy.”

Jose rolls his eyes, still grinning. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He pauses, glancing between the two of us, and then his smirk turns downright evil. “Just… try not to get too cozy down here, alright?” He wags his eyebrows. “I know how you two get.”

I freeze.

Azzi scoffs, tossing a pillow at him. “Shut up.”

Jose dodges it easily, laughing. “I’m just saying! If it were me, I wouldn’t trust myself alone in a basement with someone I—”

“Bye,” Azzi cuts him off, pointing at the stairs.

Jose grins but finally backs away. “I’m just looking out for Mom and Dad.” He throws me a glance as he goes. “And for Paige’s dignity.”

The second the door closes behind him, I let out a very shaky breath.

Because oh my god.

If only he knew. Well…he did know unfortunately I wasn’t that secretive back then, well now, anyway-

I make the mistake of glancing at Azzi, and of course she’s already looking at me, her expression unreadable. There’s this slow, knowing smirk tugging at her lips, and I suddenly forget how to breathe.

Azzi tilts her head slightly. “You good over there?”

I wave her off, forcing out a laugh that hopefully doesn’t sound as nervous as I feel. “Pfft. Yeah. Totally.”

Her smirk grows. “You sure? You look kinda—”

“I’m fine,” I cut in, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth before I can say anything stupid.

Azzi hums, like she doesn’t believe me at all, but thankfully, she lets it go.

But the problem is… I don’t. I never do.

Because now, I can’t stop thinking about later tonight.

And how way too soon, we’ll be alone again.

A few hours later, we’re tangled up in Azzi’s bed, watching All American—or, at least, one of us is.

Azzi’s fingers comb lazily through my hair, her nails grazing my scalp in a way that makes it really hard to focus on anything but her.

I barely register whatever drama’s happening on screen because I’m too busy staring at her.

Her face is so unfairly pretty—the soft curve of her cheek, the way her eyelashes flutter every time she blinks, the slight crease in her forehead when she’s actually paying attention to something. It’s like she’s in her own world, completely unaware of the fact that I’m losing my mind over her years later, obviously she wouldn’t know that but anyway.

But, Azzi doesn’t miss anything.

“Paigey,” she murmurs, her lips quirking up as she glances down at me. “You want me to pause the show? Seems like you’re real focused on something else.”

I should’ve looked away the second she caught me, but now it’s too late.

I roll my eyes, playing it cool. “Please. I wasn’t even lookin at you.”

Azzi’s smirk deepens. “Mmm. Sure.” Her fingers pause in my hair, and suddenly, I miss the feeling. “You wanna tell me what you were looking at, then?”

I narrow my eyes. “I was trying to watch, but someone keeps distracting me.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Me?”

I scoff. “Yes, you.”

Azzi tilts her head, the smirk on her lips turning into something softer, something dangerous. “I’m not even doing anything.”

I open my mouth, ready to argue, but then she shifts, leaning in just slightly, and every single thought in my head vanishes.

She’s so close now.

Close enough that I can feel her breath ghost across my lips, close enough that I could close the space between us in one second if I wanted to—

And I do.

Azzi lets me make the move. She always did.

Our lips meet, slow at first, like we’re savoring the moment, like we’ve done this before and know exactly how to do it right.

Because we have.

Four times in the last year—I counted. Still counting.

I kiss her deeper, my hand slipping into her curls, and she sighs against my lips, like this is exactly where she wants to be.

Azzi pulls me in, shifting so that I’m almost on top of her, and my entire body feels like it’s melting against her warmth.

It’s not rushed, not something we’ll pretend didn’t happen in the morning. We didn’t, we woke up that morning doing the same thing for 15 minutes, I counted.

She hums into the kiss, her fingers sliding under the hem of my hoodie, tracing circles against my skin, and a shiver runs down my spine.

I swear I could do this forever, just lose myself in her, but then—

Azzi breaks the kiss with a soft laugh, her forehead pressing against mine.

“We should sleep,” she murmurs, breathless.

I huff, still catching my own breath. “Wow. That’s rude.”

Azzi grins. “You’re the one who’s always talking about my recovery.” She nudges my side. “Don’t you want me well-rested?”

I groan dramatically, burying my face in her shoulder. “Fine.”

Azzi chuckles, pulling me closer, and just like that, we settle in, the weight of the day slipping away as sleep creeps in. And as much as I love sleeping next to Azzi like this every night, I desperately wish I was home now.

[blueaprondelight]

So glad you're back!! Would you ever consider writing for Carmy x Richie's younger sister again?? I had an idea (if you want to write it, please dont overwhelm yourself) where reader and Carmen are fighting while reader is pregnant with their first baby and Carmen says something kinda mean to her and then she goes into laboro unexpectedly?! And seeing how Richie would react to that and be so defensive of his little sister 🥹

hi love! hope this is okay :) | fem!reader, mentions of a hospital, nicu stay/labor

You know he didn't mean it. Calling you stupid for showing up to the Bear that day when there was tools laying about, too many unknown people being around. He was just a worried soon-to-be dad, but that didn't make it easier.

Carmen was always protective over you, and now that you two had a baby on the way, it heightened. He was already on edge with the amount of repairs being done that day in the Bear, and the hazardous scene the restaraunt was in. He was just stressed out and took it out on you, like an idiot.

You didn't stick around to hear his apology after the words slipped out of his mouth. "Why are you being so difficult about this!? Showing up here was fucking stupid of you!" Nat took you outside to get you both away from each other, give you both some space to breathe. You could hear Carmen leave the restaraunt, disappearing to who knows where.

You sigh as you lean against the fence outside, gripping it with one hand. "He didn't mean it, it's just- there's been a lot happening today. Like a lot. Our fridge guy couldn't come and then a health inspection." Nat tried to explain. You were barely listening as your eyes squeezed shut. The pain in your abdomen and back you'd been briefly experiencing for the past few minutes had subsided as you let out an exhale. Syd stepped out at the same time.

"Hey, woah, you alright?" She asks. "Yeah, yeah sorry. Just Braxton Hicks. They just haven't been this intense." You answer. Syd stares at you both before clearing her throat. "I think your water just broke." She says.

You stare at her for a second, almost laughing. "Funny, Syd, but this isn't the time-" You look down and realize she's right. Your water just broke. "No, no, no it's too soon. We don't.. Carmen has to be here. You say, your voice filled with panic.

"Honey, I don't think you have a choice. Let's go to the hospital, okay? Syd, call Richie and Carmen, tell them to meet us at Chicago West." Nat takes your hand, helping you walk around the corner to her car, where she proceeds to break more then a few traffic laws.

"Who the fuck are you to talk to my sister like that?" Richie demands. The two were going back and forth after Carmen got back to the restaraunt. "Richie, I'm not fucking doing this with you right now." Carmen argues.

Syd walks in, exhaling. "Do either of you check your phones?!" She asks. "I don't know, he's a dumbass." Richie comments as Carmen rolls his eyes.

"Mine's.." Carmen frantically searches his pockets. "It must be in my office. What's the matter?" He asks. Syd frowns. "Y/n went into labor outside, Nat took her to Chicago West. I've been trying to call you to get you there before you miss the birth."

Carmen's already out the door by the time she finishes talking.

────

"If Carmen misses this, I'm going to kill him." Nat comments as she puts a pillow under your back for support. You sigh, laying back. The room is mostly quiet, except for the beeping of equipment. Monitoring your heartrate, your baby's heartrate, your contractions. It feels surreal to watch them increase and decrease with spikes on the monitor.

"He won't miss this. He'll be here." You say, your voice laced with doubt. You knew if Sydney had gotten ahold of Carmen, he'd be speeding to the hospital. Your doctor had been trying to push back your labor as much as she can, but you knew you were about to start pushing soon.

"I really hope you're right. I'm gonna go get you more ice chips." She says, stepping out of the room. You stare at the heartbeat monitors before you hear a small knock on the door. You turn to find Carmen in the doorway. "Hi." He says softly.

You smile. "Hey. Nice of you to drop by." You say, waiting for him to come over to you. When he doesn't immediately, you hold your hand out for him. He practically runs, taking it. "I'm so sorry. For not being here and for what I said. I shouldn't have- you didn't deserve that."

You shake your head. "Carm, you're here now. I'm glad you are. I love your sister but she is not a good birthing coach." She comments as he laughs.

He presses a kiss to your head. "I'm here now." He says. You squeeze his hand lightly. "I know you are, Carmy." Nat smiles as she returns. "Good, you get to live. Here are your ice chips. Best of luck." She wishes, placing a kiss on your cheek.

You smile. "Thanks for being so helpful, Nat."

────

Within the next half hour, your baby boy was in the world. Laying on your chest, his tiny hand wrapped around Carmen's finger. "He's so perfect." Carmen whispers, his voice filled with such fondness.

You two decided on a name: Theodore "Teddy" Berzatto. He was perfect to you two. Your own little boy, your son.

Richie and the rest of the staff came by the hospital. You swooned over your big brother getting to hold your little boy. "He looks just like dad." Richie admits quietly. You nod. "He does. Looks like dad and Mikey." Carmen agrees.

Your son couldn't have been surrounded with more love.

[auspicioustidings]

You know how people call out to someone they trust when in the middle of a night terror/near death experience? Yeah, i dont see doll reader calling out to anyone in the 141, might not even remember the person they trust anymore just some random generic name like Emma or Nick or some shit so there isn't even enough to go on to try to track them down even if the 141 would let them

Not that they would, of course, at this point since readers their little doll now no one else's. It's just something that kinda needles at them, that when it came down to it doll didn't call out to one of their l big military guys to help but some fucker they can't even remember anymore

...not to be Zack Snyder but to really twist the knife I'd love that name to be significant. I want to say Gary, the man they couldn't save, specifically the man they couldn't save from the very same company that sent you.

While we are inserting old game characters into the reboot, let's shift it round a little. Gary was killed by the Shadows but he was taken first. They're not naïve, they know he would have been tortured to death and when they found his burned out body that was evident.

And it must be a coincidence that she knew someone called Gary, but they can't help but wonder just how long she had been with Philip Graves. It becomes an obsession, the idea of just how he broke her down to a doll. They hadn't really thought about it before because realistically they know they won't like the answer.

She's skittish around open water. She showers, but Gaz set up a romantic bath for his doll once and he saw the way panic seized her limbs before her brain just shut off, nothing left there but a doll. He knows what that means. He knows. He doesn't want to think about it.

Soap wants to play doctor and nurse with his toy. He waits until she is gone to throw up at how she reacted to him in a white coat, how she shook so violently at the sight of a needle. He took the jacket off, fucked her gentle, but he is not going to get the sight out of his mind.

For Price it's how she reacts to food. She hoards. She thinks he doesn't notice but he does, the only reason he doesn't "catch" her is because he is scared of how she will react. His little wife is conditioned to accept punishment, a raised voice and she is on her knees in a stress position, a burnt dinner and she puts herself in the little pantry, stays curled in the dark and cold until he tells her to come out.

Ghost knew from day one. He sees everything. If Roba had wanted him unmarked, he reckons it would have been far worse. Torturing someone while leaving them unmarred by it physically takes cruel creativity. Yeah he's a right bastard for accepting her as his slut, holding her down and unleashing all the violence inside of him, but he's helping the only way he knows how. She is never left unsure with him, she knows what he will give her and he never fucks with her head.

But even when they push the implications of how she acts away, when they try and work around it and not trigger memories in her, it still doesn't make her come to them for comfort. It is still Gary's name she calls to in fitful sleep.

[pbaz7]

It felt so wrong not doing a live react last time so I’m back!! Super busy, should be asleep, but pazzi fic comes first ofc

Azzi stepped out with Kyrie

- KYRIE! I know baby Paige is in shock rn

Just don’t let her work you too hard before the season. We need another chip.” With that he clapped her on the shoulder. “Good luck, kid.”

- this Kyrie cameo is everything I ever wanted

Paige just smiled, her eyes twinkling. "You'll see," she said, keeping the secret for a little longer.

- surprising her alr? Damn I need this kind of love

What can I say? I pay attention.”

- she’s so adorbs

Finally, Paige broke the silence, her voice casual but with a hint of curiosity. “How are you single?”

- LMAOOO valid question p

Paige smirked, as she licked her lips, clearly intrigued by Azzi's words. “I like that.”

- they are so perfect for each other

Paige chuckled. “I think you know the answer to that Azzi.”

- cough cough cough

I promise it’s not as much as you think.” She met Azzi’s gaze her lips still curved in amusement. “I’ve slept with maybe seven people in the last year.”

- Paige bueckers im very sorry about the assumption I had made… I thought she was gonna say 70 😭😭

Azzi studied her for a moment before asking, “Were you married to Lukas’s other mom?”

- thank YOU author you KNEW I wanted the answers

When I got back she was just gone and half my shit was gone with her.

- damn this some Reddit story

The words caught Paige off guard, touching something deep within her chest. She glanced down for a moment, a small smile forming as she tried to hide the faint redness creeping onto her cheeks. “Thank you,” she murmured.

- she’s such a good mom aw

Still, Paige smirked, keeping her composure. “Yup. Sure would.”

- fuck a sports doctor Paige is gonna need a therapist

As soon as Paige shut off the engine and caught sight of Azzi’s car,

- author in the future I need to know what car this is (I’m a bit of a car girl lmao)

Azzi went on, explaining a bit about her clients—what they needed, what adjustments she was making.

- I work with physios and doctors pretty often so Azzi telling Paige abt her clients is giving me anxiety 😭😭 PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY AZZI DONT TELL HER THEIR NAMES

Paige swallowed, her voice barely audible as she whispered, “I’m tryna kiss you. That’s ok with you?”

- respect is so fucking hot

Paige shook her head, her voice slightly muffled as she spoke. “I gotta stop or Imma die.”

- call that therapist girl

I LOVED THIS

This is such a unique idea and I really love how you are writing it! Keep it up and tell me what car Azzi has please!!

- 🫂🫂🫂

she's so adorbs

cutesy in every universe

cough cough cough

hope you covered your mouth

Paige bueckers im very sorry about the assumption I had made... I thought she was gonna say 70 😭😭

damn you thought she was a whore 😭

fuck a sports doctor Paige is gonna need a therapist

need a therapist over some sex is crazy lol

i’ll make sure you find out what kinda car don’t worry

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees Season 1 Character Playlist BREAKDOWN

OKAY, SO this one is gonna be an ordeal.

I set a 6-song limit for every other playlist I made, but this is the playlist that started it all. So, I didn't have a limit. So it's 12 songs long.

Which is honestly like a normal playlist length BUT it's gonna be a long breakdown which I will lovingly do because I LOVE Kristen with my whole heart. Either way, this is deffos gonna be a long post so read if you want (i would very much appreciate it obvi but I get this is pushing it).

Genres Included: Folk, Singer-songwriter, Alternative, 80's

1. Save the People, The Mountain Goats

When wilt thou save the people? Oh, God of mercy, when? Not kings and lords, but nations Not thrones and crowns, but men God save the people For thine they are Thy children as thy angels fair Save the people from despair

Starting off strong with my main man John Darnielle. John, as prolific as he might be, did not write this song it is originally from the musical Godspell by Steven Schwartz. I was raised as a theater kid and I remember one summer my mom took out our cable and the only things we could watch on the tv were dvds and vhs tapes of musicals, and the 1973 Godspell movie was definitely one of my favorites. Its like "what if Jesus was around in the 70s and was a hippie clown and also was crucified on a chain-linked fence and beaten by cops" ...ah, good times.

ANYWAYS, I don't feel like I need to get into why this is a perfect Kristen song - I feel like it really gets to the divide between the way that Christianity is taught to kids vs the way it is enacted by the adults that do the teaching.

2. Father Texas, Birdtalker

Father Texas on his toes Tells me where and when to go He's a savior, liturgy man He's a stickler and a soap monger Shove it down your throat Holy answer man He says obey and I'll love ya Now I'm doing just to prove And I'm walking out of fear But the devils done

Ok so I was raised Catholic, which I feel like is a whole different flavor of religious trauma compared to Evangelical or Baptist vibes - which I feel like the Helioic religion gives. Either way, this song slaps and really gets to that Evangelical vibe.

3. Big Houses, Squalloscope

I build bridges with these arms I will not build a fortress In the circle around the kitchen table I say my "amen" because I feel blessed Secretly hoping, while joining hands, that you can't feel my trembling fingertips

Here's young Kristen Applebees - Chosen One of Helio- who just wanted to help people. She meets her first non-religious friends, plans to convert and save them, and then straight up dies on the first day of school. She comes face to face with her literal god, is disappointed and grossed out by him, and then is magically (and violently) revived.

Can you imagine her returning home, trying to answer her parent's questions about the first day, making it through dinner, crawling into bed, and just lying there? AHHHHHHHHHHH

4. Under The Table, Fiona Apple

I'd like to buy you a pair of pillow-soled hiking boots To help you with your climb Or rather, to help the bodies that you step over along your route So they won't hurt like mine Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up

Speaking of those family dinners, as the days go by and Kristen gets closer to her party, how do you think she's gonna react to whatever comments her parents make about them hmmmmmm? The result of coming out of your social shell and realizing how bad the people around you really are.

5. Cleric Girl, Sisyfuss

I need my cleric girl tonight So she can bless me in this plight Dress me in crucifixes so they die on sight I need my cleric girl tonight

This is just a fun song I see as Kristen finds her groove within the party, kinda around the DJ brains fight. Also it makes me think of the prayer chain thing that she had the whole party on at some point.

6. Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos

She knows what's going on Seems we got a cheaper feel now All the sweeteaze are gone Gone to the other side With my encyclopedia They musta paid her a nice price She's putting on her string bean love This is not really, this, this This is not really happening

There's something about a Tori Amos song that never fucking misses. This song, for me, kinda gets at the part of growing up when you really start to uncover the truth of things for yourself, instead of listening to the things you were always told. Kristen buys the book of world religions and reads about the atrocities people did in her god's name. She is also told that the "cool camps" she was going to were run by an actual fanatical cult. Yikes.

7. Eldest Daughter, Isabel Pless

Bring me your battered, your bruised, and your scarred Florence Nightingale, to your broken hearts Bring me your bleeding I'll stitch it up with a bow Tugging at the sword in the stone The dormant hero in me is yet to be known Dying to prove myself again, but I don't know how Wanna lay my weapons down Lay my weapons down Want everyone to adore me even though People's emotions are out of my control Smothering fires Letting flames claim my hands I would do anything to be needed Over and over again.

Okay, the thing about this song is that we get the root of it here in season one, and it shows up really lightly, but God almighty, do we get one hell of a payoff in the next two seasons. Damn. The first time I listened to this song I cried. It's on several of my dnd character playlists - because, for some reason, I can't stop making dnd characters with self-saccrificing tendencies. HM! I WONDER WHY?

But anyways, yeah... something something, Christian households raising their eldest daughters to be surrogate mothers and laborers, something something Kristen is a cleric while her brothers are paladins, something something Women being healers

8. Angel Eyes and Basketball, Foot Ox

There are flowers growing all around A massive animal inside of me And it's so ugly, and I'm so broken And I'm so ugly, and it's so broken I am calling all of my friends To pull me out of this hole But they're so caught up in their own shit And I'm so caught up in my own shit

Ok, this is full Christian guilt. I also really like the way this song is one of those upbeat but devastating ones because it makes me think about her inspiring speeches to her party members just being her ranting about how horrible everything is, and then they get +1 to attacks and extra hitpoints. Living La Vida Loca.

9. We Fell in Love in October, girl in red

Smoking cigarettes on the roof You look so pretty, and I love this view Don't bother looking down, we're not going that way At least I know I am here to stay We fell in love in October That's why I love fall Looking at the stars Admiring from afar

Ok, I know this is cheesy. BUT TO MY CREDIT: both the song and the season came out in 2018. Also, you know Kristen would stream the fuck out of this song.

10. Running Up That Hill ( A Deal With God), Kate Bush

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road, be running up that hill With no problems

AGAIN TO MY CREDIT: I made this playlist in 2020 - two years before Stranger Things brought the song back to the general psyche. No shade, of course, to the stranger things; it's a perfect song to choose, and the scene effectively made me cry.

But anyway its here because at her bones, Kristen would die for her friends and has and will (unfortunately) continue to. Speaking of

11. Arms Tonite, Mother Mother

I cry in the afterlife I cry hard because I have died And you're alive I try to escape afterlife I try hard to get back inside Your arms alive

Kristen's dying count is more than double most of her friends at this point - and golly gee just wait till season 2!

Can I roll a nat 20 and then be alive?

12. Glory (Bunker Sessions), Bastille

And all their words for glory Well, they always sounded empty When we're looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven Way down here upon the ground When we're lying in the dirt There's no looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven

I really love this bunker session version of this song; the strings and the piano just give it a lovely honesty. Gorgeous song. Perfect way to end this season

[taeswolfie]

𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 : 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚-𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓

☽︎𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒏☾︎

Ch.23 - Ch.25 (coming soon)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x fem!Reader

Word count: 4.5k

An ambulance has come for Jackson's body and Melissa works her way into going with them. Y/n stands with Scott and Isaac (both changed into regular clothes) in the locker room as Noah tells them what he knows. "I got to meet with the medical examiner and try to figure out what happened with Jackson. I've got an APB out on Stiles. His Jeep is still in the parking lot, so that means..." He trails off. "Well, I don't know what that means. Um... Look, if he answers his phone, if he answers his emails, if any one of you see him..."

"We'll call you." Y/n assures.

"Look, he's probably just freaked out from all the attention or something." Scott says. "We'll find him."

Noah gives a quick nod. "Yeah. I'll see you, okay?" The teens nod as he walks away to be replaced with Coach.

"McCall. We need you on the team, okay? You know I can't put you on the field next season if you don't get your grades up."

"Yeah, I know, Coach."

"I mean, I-I know I yell a lot, but it's not like I hate you guys. Well, I kinda hate Greenberg, but you know, that's different. It's Greenberg." Coach jokes. "I'm just saying we... I need you on the team." He admits. "Get your grades back up."

"I will."

"I know." Coach leaves then too.

"Is that everyone?" Y/n asks after a moment.

Isaac steps forward and glances around the locker room. "I think so." Y/n's eyes glow. She closes her fist and yanks it back, pulling a locker door from its hinges. It crashes to the floor with a clang. Isaac looks down at the discarded piece of metal, then back up at her with raised brows. She pulls a shirt and a shoe from Stiles' locker. "You're gonna find him by scent?"

"We all are." She hands him the shoe and gives Scott the shirt. She doesn't really need anything, his scent has already been imprinted in her mind, committed to her memories.

"But how come he gets his shirt and I get his shoe?"

"Because I said so." Y/n tenses then, turning on her heel to find Derek there. But that's not why she's so alert.

"We need to talk." Derek says.

Peter comes from behind the locker behind him. "All of us."

"Holy shit." Scott says. "What the hell is this?"

"You know, I thought the same thing when I saw you talking to Gerard at the Sheriff's station."

"Okay, hold on. He- he threatened to kill my mom. And I had to get close to him. What was I supposed to do?"

"I'm gonna go with Scott on this one. Have you seen his mom? She's gorgeous." Peter commented.

Y/n, Scott, and Derek all looked at him. "Shut up!" They all yelled.

"Who is he?" Isaac asks.

"He's Peter, Derek's uncle. Little while back, he tried to kill us all, and then Y/n set him on fire, and Derek slashed his throat."

"Hi." Peter waves a bit.

Isaac gives a short smile. "Good to know."

"How is he alive?"

"He haunted me and wormed his way into my head enough that I helped bring him back." Y/n angrily admits. Scott looks at her. "Not my proudest moment."

"He knows how to stop Jackson." Derek says. "And maybe how to save him."

"Well, that's very helpful except Jackson's dead." Isaac informs.

"What?"

"Yeah, Jackson's dead. It just happened on the field." Scott confirms. Derek looks back at Peter who also looks away in thought.

"Okay, why is no one taking this as good news?" Isaac asked.

"Because if Jackson is dead, it didn't just happen. Gerard wanted it to happen." Peter said.

"But why?" Derek asked.

"Well, that's exactly what we need to figure out. And something tells me the window of opportunity is closing. Quickly."

They then went to the Hale house for some information Peter said he had. Y/n was eyeing the room where Peter was buried when her phone went off. She checked it and sighed in relief. "Scott, they found Stiles." Scott reacts the same as her. She looks at him with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. I have to-"

"No, it's okay. Go. We've got it handled for now."

She smiled at him. "Thanks." Then she rushed off, basically running to the Stilinski house.

…

Stiles was laying on his bed in fresh clothes when a knock sounded on his door. "Dad, I said I'm fine." He called, yet the knocking persisted. He sighed and got up from the bed in irritation. "Come on, Dad. How many times-" He grumbled to himself when he opened his door, cutting himself off at the sight of Y/n.

"Hi." She breathed.

"Hi."

"God, what happened?" Her brows furrowed at the angry purple bruise on his cheek and the cut on his lip.

"It's nothing." He brushed it off, looking away from her.

"It's not nothing." She moved her head down a bit to make him look at her. "Stiles, don't lie to me."

"I'll be fine. Come in." He moved aside for her and she stepped into his room, him closing the door behind her.

"I can heal it." She offered.

He shook his head. "My dad's already seen it. He'd ask questions, you know."

"At least let me make it stop hurting." At her insistence he nodded. She gently put her hand on his cheek. Her eyes started to glow as she healed him just a bit. He stared into her eyes while she did this, he hadn't really been able to since the night at the Sheriff's station and he honestly missed it. When she was done her eyes dimmed to e/c and she sighed. "We need to talk."

They had sat on his bed and she was quiet for a couple minutes, not really sure how to start. "Are you breaking up with me?" He asked suddenly, unable to handle the silence.

"What?" She nearly choked on air and looked at him with wide eyes. "No! I would never- I can't believe you'd think... Well, actually I can believe you'd think that with how I've been acting lately."

"So you're not breaking up with me?"

"No, Stiles, I'm not breaking up with you. I love you, and I mean that. I'm just worried that what I have to say will make you break up with me."

"I wouldn't break-"

"Stop. Don't finish that because you might want to take it back when I'm done." He shut his mouth even though he didn't want to. She took a deep breath. "For a while now, almost as long as he was dead, Peter's spirit was attached to me somehow. I could see him without my eyes shifted when that's never happened before. I didn't know it was him at first but I eventually figured it out. He kept talking to me when I was alone, saying I would be stronger if I just practiced even one spell with blood magic. I was always so reluctant because I believed I wasn't ready for it, that I wasn't strong enough. He made me question if I was actually scared to try instead of just not being ready. Eventually something snapped. I let him in and he told me his plan. With Lydia's help I brought Peter back from the dead. I don't even really remember why I did it, but I did. It was so crazy what I had done, I panicked."

"That's why you kept apologizing." He realized and she nodded.

"And why I've been avoiding you. It killed me but I couldn't face you guys, I couldn't face you, until I figured out some way to make up for it. I honestly don't know if I ever will." She lightly shook her head and looked down at her lap. "So now you see why I'm so worried about what you'll say. I wouldn't blame you if you decided to end it-"

"Y/n. Look at me." She didn't right away and so he hooked his finger under her chin and made her look at him. "I wouldn't break up with you for anything unless it's what you want. Is it?"

"No. I don't. I really don't." She breathed. He leaned towards her and brought their lips together. Even though she eased the pain she was still careful of the cut on his lip. He leaned his forehead against hers when they pulled away. "Are you really sure you still want to stay with me even after what I did?"

He pulled away with a small huff. She was normally so confident, but sometimes that confidence will waver and she'll become very unsure of herself. "I'm sure. And I'll prove it." He got up from his bed and went over to his desk where he picked up a little black box. He sat back down next to her and held it up for her. "I, uh.. I got this for you after we, um, we first said 'I love you'." He flushed a bit when the events after that flashed through his mind and she chuckled at his reaction. "Just open it." He handed it to her and she took it with a smile. It faded to surprise though when she flipped open the lid, finding the simple silver ring inside. It was shaped into the shape of a Triple Moon with the middle moon sporting a pentagram.

"It's beautiful. But why would you…?" She trailed off, looking at him in question at the little gift.

"It's- it's nothing fancy. I just..." He took her hand and looked at her seriously. "It's like a promise ring. My promise to you that I'll be there for you no matter what. Whether it's something simple like a test or as big as... Raising psychopaths from the grave." He lightly joked, making her chuckle a little. "I want to be there for everything."

"Stiles." She didn't know what to say.

"Do you believe me that I want to stay with you now?"

She nodded with a smile. "I believe you." She took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her index finger. "Perfect fit. Good eye, Stilinski. What made you pick this design?"

"I saw that symbol on your grimoire and some of your other things, so I thought it was something you liked."

She nodded. "It's actually a symbol of the Triple Goddess, an entity with three forms. The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone. For witches she symbolizes our stages of life and our hopes. The Maiden, the young witch learning her craft from her elder. The Mother, the witch who has a child of her own and has something bigger to protect than herself. And finally the Crone, funnily enough what witches hope to become, the witch wise and experienced with time. Sadly not all witches get to embody the Crone."

"So very important symbol?"

She laughed. "Yes, very important symbol. Thank you." She smiled at him. Suddenly her phone went off and she checked it. "You've been ignoring Scott tonight?"

"No. No, not really."

"Look." She showed him her message from Scott. Something was happening with Jackson and Lydia could help. "We have to go." She stood up hastily but Stiles also got up to stop her.

"How much does she even know about this stuff?"

"Pieces. Enough. I've been trying to ease her into it. It doesn't matter right now. She can help him and I have to get her there."

"What if you get hurt?"

"I can handle myself."

"Y/n, I watched you collapse the other night. You were pale and sweaty and completely vulnerable. Derek was the one to carry you away. Do you even remember that?"

She shrugged. "A little. I overexerted myself that night, used too much of my energy in one go without properly resting. It won't happen again."

"And what if it does? What if you get caught by surprise and knocked out or killed? You know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated. And if you die, I will literally go out of my freakin' mind. You see, death doesn't happen to you, Y/n. It happens to everyone around you, okay? To all the people left standing at your funeral, trying to figure out how they're gonna live the rest of their lives now without you in it? Huh? And look at my face, huh?" He raised his voice and stepped closer to her, pointing to his cheek. "Come on, you actually think this was meant to hurt me?" When she took a small step back he seemed to realize how harsh he acted and stepped back himself. "Um... I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." She spoke quietly. "I understand and I get it. I feel the same about you. But I'm thinking about Lydia. How we feel about this is how she's feeling too. She's losing the boy she loves but she can save him and I'm gonna help her do it. I'm sorry. I love you, but I have to go." She turned and walked out of his room.

"Hey, Y/n, wait." He called after her but she was gone.

Stiles sat at his desk for a bit after she left, checking his phone for possibly something from her. There was nothing. Movement at his door makes him look over to find his dad. "She left, huh?" Noah asked.

"Yeah."

"So are you two, uh... Okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. I hope at least."

Noah stepped into his room and sat at the spare chair next to his desk. "Listen... I know getting beaten up, and with what happened to Jackson, has got you pretty shaken. But be happy about one thing. The game. You were amazing."

Stiles scoff with a smile. "Thanks, Dad."

"No, I mean it. Look, it was pretty much over. And then you got the ball. And you started running. You scored, and the tide just turned. And you scored again and again. You weren't just MVP of the game. You were a hero."

Stiles lightly shakes his head in disagreement. "No, I'm not a hero, Dad."

"You were last night." Noah smiles at him. After a pat on his shoulder he leaves him be.

Stiles looks at his phone again with a sigh. "I'm not a hero."

…

Scott and Isaac had taken Jackson's body from the hospital, getting a ride from Chris Argent because they have a common enemy. Gerard who is poisoning Allison to be like him like he did to Kate. They took him to the warehouse district where they're supposed to meet with Derek, Peter, Y/n and Lydia, but only Derek shows up. Peter watches from a ways away in a little hiding place.

"Where are they?" Scott asks Derek.

He looks around. "Who?"

"Peter, Y/n and Lydia." Derek ignores him and stands over the body bag housing Jackson. "Whoa, hold on a second." Derek unzips the bag. "You said you knew how to save him."

"We're past that." Derek opens the bag to reveal Jackson half shifted.

"What about-"

"Think about it, Scott. Gerard controls him now. He's turned Jackson into his own personal guard dog. And he set all of this in motion so that Jackson could get even bigger and more powerful."

"No." Chris disagrees. "No, he wouldn't do that. If Jackson's a dog, he's turning rabid, and my father wouldn't let a rabid dog live."

"Of course not." Gerard stands across from the group. "Anything that dangerous, that out of control... Is better off dead." Derek looks down at Jackson and goes to swipe at him with his claws. Jackson suddenly opens his eyes and impales Derek with his own claws. He hisses and growls as he stands with the Hale still in the air. He then throws Derek away. "Well done to the last, Scott. Like the concerned friend you are, you brought Jackson to Derek to save him. You just didn't realize that you were also bringing Derek to me."

An arrow whistles through the air, Scott ducks and it hits Isaac instead. "Allison?" Scott catches sight of the girl as she ducks back behind the corner behind Gerard. He runs over and pulls Isaac away from the danger. Chris pulls out his gun and shoots at Jackson. Jackson hisses and darts behind the car, shifting fully. Chris shoots around and through the car as he tries to hit the kanima. He empties a clip and quickly puts in a new one. Before he can fire more however the kanima jumps on top of the car and wraps its tail around the gun, yanking it out of Chris' grip. Chris runs to the side and pulls out a knife to face the kanima again, but the kanima only runs and shoves him away.

Derek flips over some pallets and growls, shifted. Scott and Isaac are also shifted as they face the lizard man. The three run at it, Derek being thrown aside after his hit was dodged. Scott impales it from behind but he's also thrown away. Isaac has his hands around its throat as Derek climbs some equipment. Isaac is hit away and Derek jumps down and hits the kanima from behind. He swipes at it but his arm is caught. The kanima pulls him and tries to hit him into a wall but Derek just runs up and pushes off of it, flipping out of the kanima's grip. He swings for a punch and his fist is grabbed. The kanima grabs his neck and throws him aside with a growl. Scott comes from behind and kicks it into a wall. The kanima flips around and kicks him himself and sends him flying. When Derek swings again the kanima slices him and Derek goes down. Isaac went to help the Alpha when Allison stepped in his way, slicing him with her knives until he's on his knees. She cuts him once more from the back to take him down.

She flips her knives and steps towards Derek when Scott yells. "No, Allison!" The kanima catches her wrists, disarms her, and holds her by the neck.

"Not yet, sweetheart." Gerard says as he walks closer to them.

"What are you doing?" She asked him.

"He's doing what he came here to do." Scott answers.

"Then you know." Gerard says.

"What's he talking about?" Allison asks again.

"It was that night outside the hospital, wasn't it, when I threatened your mother. I knew I saw something in your eyes. You could smell it, couldn't you?"

Isaac, shifted back to normal, looks up at him. "He's dying."

"I am. I have been for a while now. Unfortunately, science doesn't have a cure for cancer yet. But the supernatural does."

Allison gasps and the kanima tightens it's grip. "You monster." Chris seethes.

"Not yet."

"What are you doing?" Allison yells.

Gerard glares her way and the kanima tightens again. "You'll kill her too?" Chris asks angrily.

"When it comes to survival, I'd kill my own son!" He looks at Scott now. "Scott." Scott shifts back and takes a few steps forward to Derek, standing over him. He reaches down and grabs him by the back of the neck and pulls him up.

"Scott, don't." Derek says. He's too weak to fight back. "You know that he's gonna kill me right after. You'll be an Alpha." He directs the last part to the man himself.

"That's true. But I think he already knows that, don't you, Scott? He knows that the ultimate prize is Allison. Do this small task for me, and they can be together. You are the only piece that doesn't fit, Derek. And in case you haven't learned yet, there is just no competing with young love." Gerard takes off his jacket.

"Scott, don't! Don't!"

"I'm sorry. But I have to." Scott says. Derek groans as Scott pulls him back, craning his head back so that his mouth is wide open. Gerard rolls up his sleeve as he approaches. He puts his arm in biting range and Derek can't help but to. Gerard screams and pulls his arm away. He has now received the Bite. He laughs and holds his arm up in victory, looking at everyone. But it doesn't seem so victorious when black blood starts to seep from the wound.

His smile fades when he sees their shocked expressions. "What?" He finally lets his arm down and looks at it himself. "What is this? What did you do?"

Derek looked up at Scott who looked down at him. "Everyone said Gerard always had a plan." He looked at the oldest Argent. "I had a plan too." Gerard pulls his pill container from his pocket, pouring the blue and white capsules into his hand.

"No. No." At the Sheriff's station when Scott handed him the pill container, he had switched the real one for a replica. The new pills were made by Alan and Y/n by Scott's request and filled with mountain ash. Gerard crushes the pills in his hand. "Mountain ash!" He growls out. He falls to his knees as black blood starts to leak from his eyes, his nose, his ears. He gasps and looks up. He vomits black blood like a fountain and falls to his side.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek asked Scott.

"Because you might be an Alpha, but you're not mine."

Gerard struggles to lean on his elbows as he chokes up more black blood. "Kill them! KILL THEM ALL!" He commands before falling down again.

The kanima loosens its grip as it looks at Gerard's body. Allison takes the chance to elbow it in the face and it pushes her to the ground behind it.

The blue Jeep crashes through a door and runs right into the kanima. Stiles has his eyes tightly shut as he drove, Y/n bracing herself from the front and Lydia in the back. He peeks an eye open and looks at her. "Did I get him?"

"Uh-huh." She nods. Lydia shrieks when the kanima jumps on the hood.

Stiles flails back. "Whoa!" The kanima hisses and he screams. Y/n's eyes flash when she throws her hand forward, making the kanima fly back off of the car, giving the three teens time to get out of it. Y/n and Stiles scurried by Scott while Lydia went to stand in front of the kanima.

"Jackson! Jackson." She calls as the kanima stands in front of her. Y/n wants to run and pull her away, but she knows this will work. It has to. Lydia holds up the key to Jackson's house when the kanima went to swipe at her. Its claws are in the air, but it hesitates as it looks at the object. Jackson shifts back half way, taking the key from her fingers. His blue eyes move to Lydia's face. He lets his arm fall. He's back to himself. Jackson is back in control. He steps away from her.

A bad feeling rushed over Y/n, and her eyes widen when she senses Peter's, Derek's and even Jackson's intentions. "No!" She shouts just as he closes his eyes and offers himself up. Derek and Peter both impale him from the front and back. Jackson chokes and Lydia covers her mouth in shock with tears running down her cheeks. They release him and he starts to fall. Lydia catches him and eases him onto his knees.

Jackson looks in her eyes. "Do you- do you still..." He can barely get the words out, but she already knows.

"I do." She nods. "I do still love you. I do, I do still love you. I do." She cries. Jackson slumps forward onto her shoulder and she holds onto him. The key clatters to the ground. Lydia sobs. Allison takes Scott's hand for comfort. Y/n holds a hand over her mouth, a few tears staining her cheeks as Stiles takes her other hand in his. Lydia gently lays Jackson on the ground, the last of the kanima scales fading from his skin.

"Where's Gerard?" Allison suddenly asks, just noticing the man's disappearance.

"He can't be far." Chris assures.

Lydia stands up and wipes her face, turning and taking a few steps away from him. Y/n went to go to her when claws scratching against the cement echoed through the space. Everyone looked over as Lydia gasped a bit in shock and turned to face Jackson. Jackson's eyes opened, they glow blue. He rises from the ground, looks up to the ceiling, shifted, and roars. He is now a full fledged werewolf. He shifts back and looks at Lydia. She runs to him and they embrace each other.

Y/n huffs a small laugh of happiness, sniffling and wiping her eyes. Y/n looked at Stiles and noticed his own wet cheeks. When he saw her looking at him he sniffed and brushed it off. "He scratched my Jeep."

"Uh-huh. Sure." She teased. "Get over here, you big softie." She pulled him into a hug, burying her face into his neck. "Thank you for coming." She whispered.

"I promised, didn't I?" She smiled and touched the ring on her finger.

...

Stiles drives the Jeep up to the lacrosse field. He, Y/n, and Scott hop out. "So you really think she's gonna come back for you?" Stiles asks.

"Yeah, I know she is." Scott replies as they go around to the back and Stiles opens it. The boys pull out their lacrosse gear. "How are you two?"

"I'd say we're doing pretty great." Y/n smiles at her boyfriend who smiles back.

"I'm glad. I was wondering how long it'd take you guys to realize how you felt."

"Yeah, like you're the expert in relationships Mr. I-Dated-a-Hunter's-Daughter."

"Why don't you just help me make team captain like you promised there, big guy." Stiles interjected. Scott went to guard the goal while Stiles took position across from him. Y/n swooped in and stole a quick kiss from the boy before sitting a little behind and away from him. Stiles smiled at her and grabbed his lacrosse stick, setting down his bag and the bag of balls near his feet.

"Hey, you know what I just realized?" Scott asked. "I'm right back where I started."

"What do you mean?" Y/n tilts her head in question.

"I mean no lacrosse, no popularity, no girlfriend. Nothing."

"Hey! You still got us, dude." She gestures to herself and Stiles.

"I had you before."

"Yeah, and you still got us. Okay? It's a life fulfilled." Stiles says.

"Very."

Stiles scoops up a ball. "Now, remember, no wolf powers."

Scott nods. "Got it."

"No, I mean it. No super fast reflexes, no super eyesight, no hearing- none of that crap, okay?"

"Okay. Come on." He taps the goal poles.

Stiles gets ready to swing. "You promise?"

"Would you just take the shot already?" Scott gets ready to catch the ball, glancing up at Stiles with glowing eyes. Y/n smirks when she catches sight of them. Stiles takes the shot. Scott catches it swiftly.

"I said no wolf powers!" Y/n laughs.

Ch.25 (coming soon)

[lost-inanotherlife]

Hey, it's the same anon again. Thank you for the reply, I completely relate to everything you wrote!

I'd like to add that people often call Jack an asshole who "doesn't understand" other survivors, but the truth is, other survivors don't understand him either.

For example, I've seen many viewers bashing Jack for snapping at Kate in s1e12, after she retrieved her toy airplane, but they seem to forget the events of the earlier episodes.

Jack was the one who ultimately had to put down the marshal and even buried him by himself (Kate asked him why he didn't burn the marshal with the other bodies in the fuselage, and his answer was "I had to bury him").

Obviously, taking this man's life was a difficult moment for Jack (it's also implied that he sees mercy killing as murder), then just a few days later, Kate casually asks him to dig up the marshal's body, essentially asking him to reopen a painful wound. She then tries to deceive him with the key, and when he keeps his promise to her despite everything, she pulls out a random plastic airplane and shuts him out as if he didn't just desecrate a grave to help her retrieve this seemingly useless toy...

(I love Kate btw don't get me wrong hehe)

Omg Anon I love your cut-to-the-chase approach because YES! "Other survivors don't understand Jack", say it louder for the people in the back!

Let's be clear: I'm NOT making excuses for Jack's behavior. If people check my blog they will see that I call him out quite often. The thing is that I think that the way he reacts kinda makes sense with how the narrative treats him.

Let's take Kate as an example since you've brilliantly pointed out how people tend to side with her and call Jack a douche. Which okay, fair BUT.

Premise: I love Kate. I don't find her relatable at all but she's a goldmine in terms of characters whose potential was squandered because of a love triangle that ended in S3. But I digress.

Kate is a deeply, deeply flawed chatacter like honestly ALL characters on that damn island. This is not a flaw but she is like the other losties in that she sees Jack as an IDEAL.

Of course, compared to other people she actually gets to know him etc. But she's primarily fascinated by Jack because she wants his approval and validation so badly (I'll link some of my metas about this specific topic) sometimes it makes her look a bit... confused.

Take for instance that episode in S1 or maybe 2? where she drugs Jack. Not cool, am I right? Well, Jack finds out and takes it out on her but he's also quite soft about it. Well, to that what does Kate reply? She actually tells Jack in the face something like "how could you even think that I'd do something like that?".

I meaaaaaan, guuuuuurl. Come on. This is Manipulation 101. You can't get mad cause he got you. Change tactics. But no, she insists because she wants Jack The HeroTM to tell her she's a good girl.

I find all this absolutely compelling and fascinating because it makes Kate feel more 3D and alive and real. As any human being who's full of contradictions and unknown desires.

To sum it up: even Kate tends to see Jack not as Jack Shephard, A Real MessTM but as Jack The Good Guy.

If you ask ME who on that crazy island better understood the real Jack I'd say Sawyer.

Their relationshio could have been so much more than a love triangle and I'll forever be mad about it.

Thanks again Anon! Your smart takes give me the excuse to yap and I'm loving every second! Hahhaha!

My Meta about Kate (THEY ARE VERY LONG POSTS): detailed but incomplete analysis of the ep "I Do' (it's incomplete cause nobody was reading it so I stopped posting it).

foundational analysis of Kate, "What Kate Did" is THEE Lost episode.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to go to a con with my bf's friend?

(I submitted this a few weeks ago but a fandom ask I sent after has already made it out so I think it got lost? if im wrong feel free to delete. this is a shortened version)

everyone in this story is 20-21. so me and my bf were making plans to go to a con and the people we both wanted to ask were all busy. he suggested one of his friends, but I wasn't sure. me and my bf and the friend all went to high school together, and we're in some discord servers together, but im not super close with her. the reason I hesitated is cons are very overstimulating for me, and if im not careful I often end up totally shutting down. im uncomfortable being seen like this except by people I very deeply trust.

one time the friend in question saw me happy flapping and she gave me a weird look, and ever since then I've been a little uncomfortable around her. I feel like I'm overreacting because it was just a look and I might've been reading it wrong but if she reacted that way to me flapping then I don't want to know how she'd react to me being completely unable to speak or move my body. she's also interrupted my infodumping in the past, which I just found really rude (discord vc, I had already been talking to my bf for several minutes before she joined the call. I was talking about flight rising and she just kept talking over me and trying to talk about a different game)

in the end, we went without her because when he finally asked her she said she was busy. I feel like I'm kind of an asshole because he kept asking if he could invite her and I kept dodging giving him a clear answer, and if he'd asked sooner maybe she would've been able to make it. going with three people instead of two would've cut the cost of the hotel room, gas, etc. I feel like im judging her too harshly for just kinda looking at me weirdly one time and interrupting me that other time

What are these acronyms?

[blackout-criminal13]

EVERYTIME (GALLAVICH)

Your a the daughter of mickey and ian, and you find out your pregnant.

i think i kinda picked the wrong song bc it's about an Abortion.

i also saw a story similar to this on tumblr, i will put the credit here.

the acc name: @fuckshitslover

anyways,

your name is Mimi

your 15.

—��——————————————————

Mimi's POV

I stood staring at the 6 or 7 tests on the counter, all coming back positive. i sat down on the floor crying.

what was i gonna tell my dads?

what would they say?

how would the react?

what will my other family say?

i heard the front door open and heard both my fathers talking. i quickly got up and started trying to hide everything. i threw the tests into the garbage along with the box, i started washing off my smudged make up when i heard my father mickey talk.

"hey, i'm gonna go to the bathroom, be out in a sec." his footsteps approached the door as i shut the water off. i looked at myself in the mirror, fixing the strands of my hair that fell in my face.

the more i looked at myself the more i wanted to cry.

i was taken from my thoughts when i heard the door rattle,

"who the fuck is in here?"

my dad said. i opened the door to be met with his blue eyes, the same blue eyes i have.

"what are you doing home so early? it's only 11:15." he asked.

"i-i got into an argument with a teacher, they sent me home early." i answered.

he nodded "well, your dad is gonna be annoyed, but it's fine." he said kissing my forehead.

i walked into my room, trying to calm myself down and think about what happened. i sat on my bed tapping my fingers on my bedside table. i tried to be as calm as possible, that was until i heard my dad scream.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE? IAN!!" He yelled.

"What is it?" he said.

i prayed he found an old pack of cigarettes or something. i got up and started walking toward my door, he stormed into my room, giving me the coldest look ever.

"ARE THESE YOURS?" He asked looking into my blue eyes.

i opened my mouth to start talking but i was quickly shut down by my dad.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled.

i choked on my sobs as my other dad ran into my room, pushing mickey to the side and hugging me as i slid down to the floor. i buried my face in his shoulders and sobbed.

"I-I, Fuck Mimi." My dad stuttered.

I continued crying into My dad arms as he rubbed my head.

"Shh, it's ok, i promise it's ok." He whispered.

"It's not fine Ian." My dad yelled.

as my father Mickeys voice rose, my gripped on my Dad Ian tightened. He could tell i was scared. he hugged me just as tight.

"Ian, You cant baby her, she brought it on herself." My dad said.

"Mickey get the fuck out of here. I'm her dad too, if i see she's having a breakdown and she needs someone to comfort her then i'm gonna contort her." My father said.

"Whatever Fuck you both." My dad said walking away.

I started sobbing as i heard the door slam, sobs that left my whole body shaking.

"It's ok, He'll come down." My dad said

i let go of him and started running towards the door. i went to open it but My dad stopped me.

"Mimi, you don't have to go after him. your dad will come down. i promise, he's not mad at you." my dad spoke wrapping his arms around me.

he brought me to the couch and laid down with me. he continued to rub my head, trying to give me some form of comfort. i could tell he was annoyed too.

"I fucked up dad, really badly, and i'm so sorry. i am such an idiot." i said sobbing again.

without hesitation he held me in his arms again.

trying to tell me he didn't care that i was pregnant.

"it's ok Mimi. Shh go to sleep." he whispered soothingly.

i obliged, quickly falling asleep in his arms.

Time Skip

My dad had come home at around 8:30, drunk stumbling over to us. Both me and my dad woke up.

i tensed up, nervous about what my dad would do or say if he was drunk.

"i need to talk to you." He said.

"Mickey No, you're drunk. Go to sleep and sober up, talk to us in the morning." my dad said.

he didn't care tho, he shoved my dad out of the way. 

coming towards me, he wrapped this arms around me as tight as he could. i hugged him back.

"i'm not mad at you Mimi, i never should have yelled." he said.

"it's ok daddy, i know you didn't mean it."  i replied.

he hugged me tighter,

"your gonna get through this, me and your dad will support which ever decision you make." he said letting go of me.

i nodded against my dads chest.

"thank you dad." i whispered.

my dad joined into the hug, making my dad start hugging me again.

__________________________________________

Part 2

You make the ending

does she keep it?

give it up for adoption?

lose it?

abort it?

chose one and let me know.

love you guys!!

[chaoticrebels]

✩༺♥༻✩ ━ ❝ "You bloody idiot!" It was strange, seeing the usually quietly meek and soft spoken little dormouse raising her voice to anyone - much less someone who could kill her (and almost had when they first met).

But she was. Her face flushed red in her frustration with the exotically beautiful Elf Prince, her petite and soft hands clenched so tightly they were trembling at her sides. "Were you TRYING to get yourself killed!?! What would you have done if I hadn't gotten here in time to save your life?!"

Well, the answer to that was simple wasn't it? He probably would have just been dead. As it was, his blood had splattered on the ground, painting it like an oil painting gone wrong. It had taken much of her energy to draw the life magic from the ground to seal his wounds, so much so she finally chocked out a gasp and dropped to her knees beside him. "Please never do that again, Ki. You are someone I never want to lose." ❞

✪ 。゜ ⠀ ☆ 。゜ ⠀ ★ Answered » { Layla }

✦ —   * ⠀ / ⠀ 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 ⠀﹕⠀ ❪ @ofwondersandhares ❫

It was just another mission, like any of them before. Just more dangerous, which in retrospect should've been left to someone else. Not the prince, not when the price of failing was death. And his bodyguard had argued as much because he had a bad feeling but Kimo didn't listen to the pleas, just snuck away because he was confident in his skills and there was no secret to why because he had the target within an inch of their life as they spilled the information he was after but then he was betrayed. And while the elf could have easily gotten out of there, he wanted revenge. Especially when he could hear the taunting, yet that was a mistake on his part because it was a trap, he should have waited but emotions were running high and he reacted without thinking which was stupidity on his part. Because now the roles were reversed for a bit until they messed up at the sound of an unexpected arrival, giving him a moment to turn invisible and using his magic to do what was needed to escape before falling into a pool of his own blood. Becoming visible once more when he was alone, his natural form on display as laid there dying.

Which was a strange feeling to experience, the pain midst the bitterness of knowing it was the end and you'll never experience certain things. But there was a calm acceptance that made it kinda a serene moment for him, even if this wasn't his ideal ending. And then that moment was interrupted when his colorful hues locked on a familiar moment, which only caused his lips to curve upwards. But his smile fell at the yelling, at the name calling. And if it was almost anyone else, he would have made them regret it despite his current situation. Instead he just listened to her yelling at him, until he pushed himself up off the ground and cupped her cheeks. ❝Mousey..❞ The prince voiced out in a soft breath, thumbs running up and down her redden skin before he let go and was instantly on the ground again because holding himself in standing position was draining him faster. ❝No, not at all but I knew the risks. I'm not afraid of dying, to die would be an awfully big adventure. I just wanted revenge, to shut up the person who betrayed me. I just underestimated the idiot, which is on me. And isn't it a bit obvious what would happen if you didn't show up, I would be dead.❞ Given the fact the ground was painted with his blood, her cheeks even sported his blood now and that caused him to give her a sheepish grin.

And before he could protest, she was healing him. Which this time he didn't get startled but he did frown, only because he couldn't imagine how much energy she had just used to do so. A concerned frown gracing his features as Layla dropped down next to him, listening to her ask him nicely to not do it again, listening to her confess she didn't want to lose him. And in response, Kimo repositioned himself. Tempted to channel his magic to help her out in return but he didn't feel like putting his bioluminescence on display in this condition, plus he didn't know if he had the energy to channel either the light or dark magic after using it earlier during his escape. Instead he cupped her cheeks once more as he pressed his forehead against hers, almost tempted to kiss her but that thought caused him to blush.

❝Oh Mousey, I promise I'll be more careful. But don't you know that no matter what happens Layla, you'll never truly lose me. I'll always be with you.❞ And that wasn't exactly a lie because in a way, he always would be. But luckily for now, it was while he was breathing and while he didn't know he life span, his species lived far longer than the creatures that inhabited this planet.

[semimedieval]

some addendums

"Rim! But that's actually a fake name, a code name if you like. Cause names have power so you don't just want go and give your name away to everybody" wait i did not fuuuucking know this line that rim says in 2.0 is fucking attributable back to 1.0 and to moopy. wow.

2. THE BOYS ARE FIGHTINGGGG

WOLFLOVER21: (Hey guys hard to say this but I don't think I can keep up with this fast pace!) SCRATCHLOVER999: I can hardly keep up too. TOESOCKSQUEEN: It only takes like 5 minutes to reread things. :) RASSBERRYCALLING: Hey my caras practically the main one right now and even the pace is so fast, I ain't top dog any more.

everyone is showing themselves excellently here. my own comments, if any existed, have been lost to scratch 2.0 update selective deletion. jack wins "scariest" - his 12 year old self's "i'm going to put a smiley face at the end of something kinda mean" strats scare me to this day. rp structure precludes "main characters", the word augustine is looking for is "plot driver", but we appreciate his diplomacy in reaching out to the other team. the katia jack and augustine school of friend group beef: "when you guys are being mean to virginia it is for petty and ridiculous reasons and you should apologize right now. when i am being mean to virginia my rage is holy and righteous and it is the only reasonable thing to be doing." so it continued for like two whole years.

3. rim asking monoceros "did you burn down goatville and if so why" was deeply embarrassing to me even at the time because my ass did NOT have a good answer for him

4. monoceros says he "used a fire extranei" to set fire to goatville, a fact that never reoccurs and is worth considering as an alternate plot for adventure 3.3 but i'm on the fence

5. captain pathetic perking up when he hears vague reaffirmations that his girlfriend has not dumped him yet (she has expressed no intention of doing so)

Chuji turned her attention away from James and quietly walked across the room. "Quartz honestly.. You torture my obsidian to much." she giggled. Obsidian perked up slightly and smiled at Chuji.

Also: this follows a completely insipid argument between obsidian and quartz that (if you adjust for Bad Writing Behaviors) reveals sad and real things about Quartz being very afraid of anything bad happening, from death to mild inconvenience, to the only family she has left. And also: "tozi stared at the wall, wanting them to shut up." omg the boys are fightinggggg what will happen????

6. as a final note before i start reading this summary of contributions: checking in with the quartz and spark show.

"Are you okay?" She placed the back of her hand on Quartz's forehead. "Nope. Not a fever." "Nothing like that," she muttered. "Just a bad mood..." "What is it? You can tell me. We're best friends remember?" She grinned. "Of course. But don't tell anyone." Quartz looked down. "I acted like a bit of an idiot in the morning today, sort of overreacted." she began. "But it gets the message across.. I'm worried about Obsidian. He's the only family I have left, and I love him more than anyone on earth." "He used to be so happy, but now....It's Chuji isn't it?" "Maybe," she replied, kicking moodily at a stone. "Tozi, that is. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's back,but... Well, Obsidian had always reacted to Tozi in strange ways. Ever since he came." Spark looked at the ground. She loved Tozi, but knew it would never work out. He loved Chuji and that was the way things were. Quartz glanced sideways at her. "We're wallowing in self-pity, Spark," she laughed. "BACON!" Spark giggled. Love wasn't everything, she still had a great best friend.

Then they yell a bunch of other ~omgeh so random X3~ words like "biscuits" and "totoro" because sometimes they are mild to moderate self inserts of how jack and katia see themselves at age 12. and within that context, it's quite sweet. the end <3 next time on the ill advised aote reread: the infamous poppyworth scene, and then OMG! LUPUS AND KY BROKE UP LAST NIGHT

[didiwaffles]

Nephew got another last very last chance to pass his math exam and my mom finally decided to do something. To no one's surprize but hers, he's been failing because he absolutely sucks at math.

Now, for context, I love math. Due to my adhd I tend to make dumb mistakes, but even then I still love solving little silly numbers and shit (for as long as I know how to do it).

Max being unable to grasp the simpliest of the concepts left everyone frustrated, but I quickly found out that he doesn't frustrate me nearly as much as how my mom reacts to it.

These studying sessions been most unproductive I've seen in my entire life, and I've had studying sessions go like "okay okay OKAY I procrastinated long enough my exam is tomorrow I gotta do something *opens the book, gets hit with the executive disfunction* oh well I guess I'm playing overwatch and hope I can somehow absorb the divine knowledge 5 mins before the exam"

To begin with, she gives him no time to think. Heard first answer, no matter if it's right or wrong, she yells NO at him and THEN thinks what's even happening. If his first answer is wrong or he doesn't give one immediately, she dictates word for word for him to write down. Surprise, that does NOTHING to help him learn or remember something, he doesn't even understand what he's doing, no matter how many times she throws tons of useless information at him.

By today, I just started walking around her and yelling SHUT UP at her every time she opened her mouth cause holy fuck let him think for one minute jfc

So all of this led to an interesting conversation between us. For another bit of context, a little bit earlier today she complained to me about him and called him a "dumb little brat" which do we recall I told her when she shittalks him I hear her shittalk me yes? Okay great moving on. So my nephew went out to take a break and me and mom had the following conversation (that frankly got me pissed off):

Mom: Idk what to do. This is useless. Look at this. How is he messing up stuff like this. This should be second nature by now etc etc

Me: (attempting a conversation) Maybe try to consider that he is like. Not hopelessly stupid and braindead.

Mom: I know he's not! He's smart!

Me: Well then, if he's smart, how is he doing these kinda mistakes?

Mom: Idk, how?

Me: Nonono, you tell me! What's you version?

Mom: I have none! This just doesn't compute in my brain!

Me: Well, you see, there are people who are just not good at math.

Mom: Not good at math my ass! He never had those kinda problems when I was homeschooling him (for context: that was 5 years ago and his grades were the worst in his life during that period; he also was miserable, somehow hardly not more than when he lived with his alcoholic mom sleeping with every man who'd have her).

Me: Well that's just what happens when you let untreated depression and adhd progress.

Mom: Oh please stop this he's not sick! Stop indoctrinating him with this bullshit!

Me: (you can guess I'm getting real angry here because I was diagnosed with both and been getting treatment and showed visible and incredible progress but here we are again ig) So are you saying I'm also not?

Mom: Of course! You're also a very smart girl who finished 3 years of the university.

Me: No. This "smart girl" dropped out of both college and uni.

Mom: Well, your loss.

Me: (and now you can tell I'm fucking furious to hear that being said in my face again) I DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO???

Mom: (shut up attempting to derail the argument but oh no I'm not done)

Me: So ig you're the smartest person here? Nvm the doctor that diagnosed me, international classification of diseases? What's that? The world health organization who? Clearly they all are fucking dumbasses, what do they even know?

Mom: Absolutely, waste of space really (sounds like a joke, but she will not think even for a second that maybe she's wrong and maybe she's not smarter than people that literally specialize in that)

And now, tell me, how do I have any kinda conversation with this person?

Just fresh out of the argument with my mom

I think I'm fully in my right to yell and cry because she triggered my trauma

My nephew failed his math exam again, which was to be expected tbh at this point but it was about his last chance so he can get into college this year. But literally is it that big of a deal? So what if he failed again. So what if he loses another year. So what if he has to pass it again and again and again. Does it really define him as a person?

Well, my mom's answer was yes.

So then I asked her if his failure meant he's not deserving of support. If he's not worthy of love just because he keeps failing basic math over and over and over again. If me continuously failing college, university, all the other stuff means I don't deserve her support. If her feeling disappointed, her feeling shameful of our failures is more important than our own feelings about our failures.

Apparently, the answer once again was yes.

We also went into what could've been done about it and how she never tries to find a compromise and is satisfied with 'I tried and they didn't like it, that's all I can do' but at the same time rejects every other option because sees her way as the only right one, but all that is not even important. I'm just so... I just see myself in him. As he cried in my room and she kept berating him. And she thinks he deserved it. That I deserve it then too?

And she victimizes herself. It's us who treat her poorly. It's us who tell her mean things, that she's allowed us to behave this way long enough, how she doesn't like being treated like that. It's her who suffers from his failure. It's her who's disappointed, ashamed, has to face people about his failures, about my failures. It's us who need to be "stuffed full of drugs".

And it's me begging her, for once in her life try to think not about herself and how she feels. But how he feels. How I feel. How anyone feels outside of herself. To drop that damn 'I' and stop thinking about herself for damn minute.