#konan-chan

[nardo-headcanons]

heyyy how do you think the founder era characters, and maybe some akatsuki members, would be in an road to ninja au???

omg nonnie, that is such a funny idea!

RTN!Akatsuki and Founders

I havn't watched Road To Ninja in a while, but as far as I know, the Akatsuki are like a normal mercenary group? From what I've seen, they haven't changed much personality wise, which is a bummer. this is a long post, so more under the cut! also please take these with a grain of salt lmao

Kakuzu is terrible with money. Absolutely terrible. He's the worst treasurer the Akatsuki ever had, but no one dares to take the job away from him because he still has the best connections and also he's just intimidating so they let him do his thing.

Itachi was probably a bigger player than RTN!Sasuke. He had to flee Konoha from all the unwanted fangirls and -boys. Outside of battle situations he is the goofiest man alive. Puns and everything, but very charismatic and playful. This Itachi KNOWS how good-looking he is.

Konan is a total klutz. She is very bubbly and sweet, openly showing her care for everyone in the world, but please do not let her near anything breakable EVER. She'll run up to you, be like "Hiii, reader-chan!" and fall flat on her face or trip over her own feet.

Deidara is scared of his own explosions. He's, much like Konan, very clumsy, especially with his bombs. Often had to pay Kakuzu to reattach his limbs and always jumps whenever he blows something up. Also, he will read more about the chemistry behind explosions than the actual explosions themselves.

Sasori is still a human, and he hates anything having to do with corpses, bodily fluids or organs. He's making all his puppets out of wood or other materials. Very cleanly, squeamish and emotional.

Hidan is very professional and soft-spoken outside of battle, he's trying to TALK you to death. He really likes meditating and has a soft spot for kittens and cinnamon buns. His bloody battles are an outlet for all the anger he suppresses.

Kisame is unintentionally really rude yet so gullible. He's very obsessed with his looks and considers himself a top tier guy looks-wise. Those women that rejected him in the bar? They are just scared of him because he's just too cool for them. He doesn't care about the cause of the Akatsuki and just joined them for his own selfish ambitions.

Madara has betrayed the Uchiha clan after Indra's death, by trying to be "one of the good ones". He is a loyal Konoha soldier through and through, ruthless and cold unlike his canon counterpart, who is very empathetic and loving, but instead with great charisma. He himself believes the Uchiha suffer from the "curse of hatred" and thinks all discriminatory policies against them are justified. He rarely uses his sharingan in battle.

Hashirama ruthlessly rose to power as the first Hokage, not even considering Madara as the first candidate. Unlike canon Hashirama who I think was just painfully naive, this one is fully aware of the position he is putting the Uchiha in and just. doesn't. care. Once he set all these policies in motion, he abandoned the village to go drink and gamble because being the Hokage bored him.

Tobirama watched as his brother enrolled all his policies and was disgusted with how the Uchiha were treated. He is struck with guilt for killing Izuna and steps in when the village is suddenly abandoned. He tries reforming the cruel policies his brother put in place and thanks to him, the Uchiha massacre could be avoided.

[yowyowyaoi]

*Itachi, Konan and Tobi standing outside of Deidara’s bedroom door*

Konan: Tobi, you’re his partner, right? Get in there and tell him!

Tobi: No way, Konan-chan! Tobi doesn’t want to get blown up! Itachi-san should do it; Senpai already doesn’t like him, so it won’t matter if he gets mad or not …

Itachi: I still don’t see the issue.

Konan: With those eyes, of course you don’t see an issue, Itachi! Fine, I guess this falls on me —

*Konan raises her hand to knock when the door is suddenly pulled open by Deidara, looking annoyed*

Deidara: I have ears, you know. I can hear you guys out here talking. What do you want, hm?!

Konan: It’s … well …

Itachi, bluntly: These two have an issue with your wearing that makeup.

Deidara: Seriously? I thought that our organization was a little more progressive than this, hm! Show me a written law that says that men can’t wear makeup!! You can’t, because one doesn’t exist! I have the right to —

Tobi: Senpai, that’s not the issue. We don’t care that you wear makeup!

Konan: We care that you’re wearing it wrong.

Deidara: … Wrong?

Tobi, taking off his mask and leaning close, in Obito voice: Look at my face. You see how my foundation is blended so well that you can’t hardly tell I have it on? Thats how it’s supposed to look, not all splotchy and erratic like yours.

Konan: And you need a better mascara. Your lashes should be lifted and separated, not all clumpy.

Itachi: Your eyeliner is nearly perfect in application, BUT you should consider switching to a waterproof brand. When you sweat your eyes start to look like raccoon eyes.

Konan: C’mon guys, let’s go to our rooms and get our gear. It’s more than time we gave our youngest member a good tutorial!

*Konan and the two boys run off*

Deidara:

Deidara: … I don’t know whether to be offended or excited, hm …

[kankuroplease]

We may know more about Yahiko's sons and konan's brothers in the Tsau I haven't seen much of them.

These are all very much in early development, still prone to changes, so most of them don’t have names or I switch them too much lol

Absolute Angel Baby™️

Plays the bass guitar

Mama’s boy but gets embarrassed when he’s called out on it

Keeps giving himself piercings, but has agreed to not wear them to school and stop doing his friends piercings (his father is real tired of getting calls about it)

Hates vegetables

Forgetful

Spends a lot time on MMOs

Actually listens to his aunt, but thinks it’s really weird/sus that she likes someone he considers an uncle? (She’s only 8 years older than him and 15 years younger than his dad and uncle)

Has picked up on the fact that his real uncle likes his aunt and he is convinced his family is just weird/this isn’t going to end well

Helps his dad get out of trouble with his mom

Mean queen™️

Plots revenge for refusals of sweets

She still tries to sleep in her parents bed from time to time

Wants her family to match her and her accessories

Loves hair accessories

Has “decorated” the walls of the house with her mom’s paint

Doesn’t listen to her aunt because she’s not her mother

Doesn’t like her uncles because they won’t just give her money when she ask for it

Tries to be independent but cries when she’s frustrated still

Gets herself and Ryu-Chan in trouble in Iruka Sensei’s class often 💀

Likely to screech if she gets mad enough

But also a sweet Angel baby with her parents (only them)

He’s the lead vocalist in a pretty popular up and coming metal band

But by day, he’s the manager at the sandwich shop Chiha, Yuzu, and his little brother works at

This does cause some commotion on his shifts, but nothing too bad as his fans are pretty respectful (for the most part)

Unlike his younger brother, he doesn’t treat Konan like his mother. He gets that she filled that role, but he was old enough to remember a time when she didn’t have to

Tries to quit smoking at least twice a year, but it’s a nervous habit

Child free and wishes to remain so (especially after dealing with his niece)

Currently single by choice because he’s not in a place for being emotionally available

Wears all black all the time because it’s simple. His actual favorite color is mint green

He’s so awkward and he tries not to be

Loud mouth

Secretly sensitive (his friends and family all know)

If Nagato doesn’t have one hater, he’s dead

All because the girl he likes likes Nagato and he’s insanely jealous 🤣

He’s extremely sarcastic when he doesn’t want to be somewhere

Still talks to his big sis about his troubles

Likes to play video games with his nephew

Hates working at the sandwich shop, but he gets to spend time with his friends (and Yuzu looks really cute in an apron in his opinion)

Drives Konan’s old car which happens to be their late father’s car. So it’s sentimental, even if it is old and a bit beat up

Enjoys teasing Yahiko about him being wrapped around Konan’s pinky finger

He’s got a sketchbook that he’s super protective over

Is currently in school to become an architect

[bh-52]

Naruto Antagonist Incorrect Quotes

Madara, in a Willy Wonka outfit, pitching the eye of the moon plan: Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.

Obito: If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it.

Hidan: Anything you want to, do it.

Orochimaru: Want to change the world? There's nothing to it.

Madara: There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination.

Kabuto: Living there you'll be free if you truly wish to be.

Sasori: There are no strings on me.

Kisame: Are you sure the lyrics are in their proper order? And why are you changing songs halfway through?

Konan, in her underwear, sitting on Nagato's lap, making out with him while their hands explore each other: Shut up, I'm trying to help my rebound boyfriend regain feeling below the belt!

Itachi, reading: Is it working, Konan-chan?

Konan, blushes as something starts poking her: I haven't tested it yet, but it's starting to get hard.

Nagato, cheeks flushed as red as his hair: I am so glad you're the doctor around here, Konan-chan. You can give it a full examination.

Konan, tilts her head: you'll be happy to know I already have my sexy nurse costume prepared.

[ladykissingfish]

*Konan sitting in the living room, reading*

Deidara: Um, Konan? Do you have a minute?

Konan: *sets down her book* Of course. What’s up?

Deidara: It’s, well … h-here — *hands her a little heart-shaped box*

Konan: What … *opens it and sees its full of milk chocolate truffles* It’s my favorite! But what’s this for??

Deidara: Today is Sweetest Day, hm. *timidly leans down and kisses her cheek* You are the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Thank you for always being so good to me.

Konan, tearing up: D-Dei …

*Itachi and Kisame come into the room; Itachi has a white rose and Kisame has a pink carnation*

Itachi: *hands her the flower* Thank you for all those times you sat up and kept me company when I felt too sick to sleep.

Kisame: *hands her his flower* Thank you for all the meals you make for everyone.

*Kakuzu and Hidan walk into the room*

Hidan: *hands her a small blue teddy bear* Thank you for all the times you cleaned me up and bandaged me when I came home from sacrifices, beautiful.

Kakuzu: *hands her a lavender-scented candle* Thank you for being a calming presence in all of our lives. *kisses her forehead*

*Tobi, Sasori and Zetsu come in*

Tobi: Konan-chan! Tobi made this for ya! *hands her a little cat he carved out of wood* Thanks for being Tobi’s friend!

Sasori: *hands her a small fragrant box* Zetsu found the herbs, and I fused them together with the leaves to create tea. *takes Konan’s hand and kisses it* We thank you for allowing us to feel human.

Konan, bawling: Y-y-you guys! I can’t believe this! It’s such a surprise! *gets up and starts hugging everyone* You’ve all made this the best Sweetest Day in the world! I -

*Nagato comes in*

Nagato: What’s all this? So many presents … oh. Oh my god! D-did I forget your birthday?!

Konan: Nagi, it’s not —

Nagato: I’m so sorry, my dear! *throws his arms around her* I swear I’ll make it up to you! First off, no missions for you this week, and I’m sending you on a trip to the hot springs in the mountains!

Konan: I’d love that, but I’d love it more if everyone else had the week off and could come with me …

Nagato: Done. Whatever you want, my sweet. *kisses her cheek* And I’ll think of more, my darling, don’t worry! *leaves*

Konan, to everyone else: And now it’s the best day of the entire year!

[tamelee]

Why do you think Naruto is no longer wearing his hitai-ate in Boruto?

Short answer: to show off his sexy receding hairline. 

Really long heavily SNS-based answer:

Here we get the first glimpse of its meaning.

But in general it is described as something to be an honorable and important part of a village’s tradition. Not wearing it could be seen as disrespectful some say yet it isn’t really necessary. Akatsuki members still wear theirs but their villages’s symbols are scratched out. A statement. Although this is different for Pain and Konan. 

So, what does this mean for Naruto? 

A lot. 

Look, you may say I’m overthinking it but I honestly believe that Naruto not wearing his Hitai-ate now is a statement in itself. If you consider everything else as well. Chapter 700 was written with so much haste and it was lathered in defeat. Nothing about it said “satisfaction” or “happy Shonen ending” the way it was supposed to be. 

Naruto hated the people from his village (naturally), but that had changed-yes? 

In the end he was loved and acknowledged by many.. (Yet in Gaiden he tells Sarada that former Hokage have said that they see the village as family not necessarily talking about himself. Which is... funny.)

But apart from the feelings he held for Sasuke which he talked about later in the story, Iruka was the first person to voice out what he truly thought about Naruto. He was acknowledged as not “a demon fox” but as himself. “Uzumaki Naruto!!”. 

((Naruto to Sasuke:))

And it is through that acknowledgement and through that bond that kid Naruto receives that Hitai-ate:

Naruto ends up hugging Iruka after that. 

It’s no secret that he’s very proud of it too. As he should. It is mentioned again when he comes back to the village after the Tsunade Arc. 

And after talking with Iruka for a while again:

It highlights the importance it holds for Naruto as a chapter later he says this to Sasuke: 

He’s telling him to put on the Hitai-ate because:

Sasuke refuses. I always wondered and haven’t really seen people talk about it but it seems like Naruto and Sasuke hold a slightly different meaning towards this. Or the same but it means more to Naruto than Sasuke. Obviously Naruto wants Sasuke to wear his Hitai-ate to fight on equal grounds as Konoha Ninja. However Sasuke here is being cocky and says Naruto is below him when it comes to strength. But he’s also frustrated, traumatized and pissed off. Naruto is only egging him on by calling him “Sasuke-chan” and getting cocky himself.

The symbol isn’t just about strength. Naruto wants Sasuke to acknowledge him even though Sasuke already has before by saying he wanted to fight him.

Naruto in the raw Manga has “shivering feelings of excitement”, sfx’s that are apparently used in Hentai.. (Hey, that’s what I read. Go complain to Kishimoto.) And instead they fight both verbally and physically without understanding the other. Both of them are so frustrated and hurt that if Kakashi didn’t interfere, we would’ve had a very short story. It isn’t the fight they wanted. 

Nor was their next fight. 

But in VotE1, Sasuke calls Naruto his closest friend and they both acknowledge how strong their bond is. Which is why Sasuke needs to cut Naruto off and can’t in the end. It is also the fight where they slowly start to understand a little more about each other. Sasuke putting on the Hitai-ate I think wasn’t just because he acknowledged Naruto’s strength. He could’ve done that earlier in the fight but he didn’t. It was obvious Sasuke lied about that. (Manga composition rule.. shadows and all.) Naruto not being able to scratch his forehead was just a poor excuse and a brilliant segue towards anti-Konoha symbolism. Could it be that Kishimoto is a great writer? Well, yes!

He put it on after Naruto said: 

And after he thought of them smiling at each other when they were kids. (Edit: uh, younger. The lake scene.)

He awakened his third Tomoe then. 

And it’s also really interesting that when Naruto went to face Sasuke much later he was calm. They exchanged fists and went to their own little space unreachable to others:

When Naruto went to tell him how glad he was to have met Sasuke, to not become a victim but also have his resolve set to not ever give up on him- he wasn’t wearing his Hitai-ate.. why? 

Because Naruto didn’t go ranting to Sasuke as a villager of Konoha. And I think this detail is what makes this scene even more special. Konoha was set on “getting rid of rogue Shinobi Sasuke” and Naruto wasn’t having it. He wasn’t going to stand before him wearing his Hitai-ate proudly when that symbol now feels too heavy. Naruto was the only one to not give up on Sasuke while everyone else including his “team-mates” were ready to kill him. Literally standing next to him, weapons ready.

Instead Naruto asks Sasuke if he saw what was inside his heart and continues to ramble on a little embarrassed.. touching his forehead as if to hint something to the reader. 

“Heheheh.. if we really do take this all the way to the end, and we both die.. we won’t be Uchiha, Jinchuuriki’s or anything.” 

Just Naruto and Sasuke. No burdens or responsibilities and if that means dying, being together with Sasuke in another world/afterlife then he’d be okay with that. Do you understand the severity of that?!! Sasuke himself acknowledges Naruto’s confession as caring asking him why he does so much but still feels like he needs to reject what he stands for. Which is a lot. 

In the Manga during VotE2, Naruto’s Hitai-ate falls off right after Naruto and Sasuke are unable to make the “seal of reconciliation” as kids in a memory. 

In the end they lay side by side both not wearing the Hitai-ate but on the reconciliation seal with a heart-shaped pool of blood between them.  

I could go on and on about this last conversation they have, but the point about this is that it all came full-circle and it makes sense. The Hitai-ate is an important detail and Naruto isn’t wearing it randomly. Kishimoto in the end didn’t just let it fall off his head randomly either because he timed it perfectly with the reconciliation-seal memories. Starting VotE2 with the Hitai-ate and ending on “equal grounds” without it is intentional. Remember Naruto’s words?  

“Heheheh.. if we really do take this all the way to the end, and we both die.. we won’t be Uchiha, Jinchuuriki’s or anything.” 

Naruto there thought he was in heaven when he looked at his side and saw Sasuke.. and he was fine with that. Burdens and responsibilities are tied to Konoha and so is the Hitai-ate. 

Former Hokage like Hashimada and Minato were wearing theirs. 

And if the thing means so much to Naruto, which it does, then why the hell did this happen in Chapter 700?:

I did the work, you come with your own conclusions for this one. Because at first I was really mad and have been for a long time.. but on the other hand.. doesn’t it kind of make sense? Naruto chose to get a prosthetic but refuses to wear his Hitai-ate, something he used to wear proudly. It could be connected to VotE2 like Sasuke refusing to get a prosthetic. It could be less connected to Konoha and more to Sasuke don’t you think? 

Which in turn, makes Chapter 700 all the more sad... 

They didn't die, they carry the weight of the world and ended up not how they wanted to despite the "co-operation" they planned for. Meaning there are still many burdens.

And before anyone else says it: In ‘Boruto’ when Naruto removed Boruto’s Hitai-ate when he cheated during the Chunin Exams it was because “he wasn’t qualified to be a Ninja”. 

Boruto was disqualified and it’s an entirely different situation. 

Naruto not wearing his Hitai-ate as Hokage is deliberate and not a design choice. 

[immoralimmortals]

Assigning the Akatsuki movies that tend to really disturb people, because they are a disturbing bunch.

A word of caution: the films mentioned are very intense, some of which closer to endurance tests than narratives. These pairings are not recommendations to see these movies. If you seek any out, research the content. I am not adding individual content warnings for the films themselves since I'm only pairing them with characters (you are free to inquire for those or for spoilers if you want to know more)

General content warning for the post itself for unsavory mentions of various kinds of violence.

Pain: Come and See

Lauded by some as the only war film that is not accidentally pro-war or pro-military propaganda. It is a story about children, children who are vessels of the narrative to, as the title says, show you the horrors and agony of warfare on the human spirit.

Konan: Martyrs

A French extreme horror film that breaks your heart as you watch women's spirits get broken. It is painfully empathetic and gut punches you over and over. It relies on you caring about the characters for its impact and it succeeds. What is the great worth of having suffered?

(Despite having a very spiritual aspect l, it is too heartfelt of a film to give Hidan, though considered)

Obito: Perfect Blue

Twisty, turny story about identities and lies. Plays with the idea of innocence and self control like how a cat plays with a butterfly with a broken wing. It's a beautiful movie but it's also going to make you really unhappy.

Zetsu: Beyond the Black Rainbow

This is a slow, methodical film about invasiveness and brainwashing. The color pallet is stark, contrasted mostly by bright whites and dark shades, with the occasional blood red thrown in to throw you off. Some of the imagery is very unnatural-seeming and nightmarish. This is the sort of movie you'd like to put on if you want to do the opposite of whatever meditation would be.

Hidan: Mai-chan's Daily Life

If you know this movie/manga at all, my reasoning is what it says on the tin. Girl gets dismembered and killed over and over as an immortal. She kind of likes it? It's a really nasty one that jumps to being so over the top and silly. I haven't seen this one and have no deeper thoughts on it.

...I guess if I really want to keep with the theme of movies I've actually seen, I'd then go with The Devils, which is based on a real life event. It's about the interplay between religion, sexuality, and political freedom, and it gets really, really violent and makes me go

Kakuzu: The Night of the Hunter

This one is actually just legitimately a very good movie that happens to hurt you deep in your soul. Two kids of the Great Depression are confided to by their dad before his execution that he stole several thousand dollars from a bank. A priest he meets in prison tracks down the children, worms his way into the love of not only their widowed mother but of the community, and tries to convince them to give the money to him as God intended.

This is a very influential film from the 1950s that while not often recognized by name, has been cited as inspiration for some of the most notable filmmakers in recent time. It is less traditionally disturbing and more that you are made to walk alongside these children as they enter a money-hungry nightmare.

Deidara: Tetsuo the Iron Man

This film is an art piece. I don't mean that in a way which denotes that it is pleasant but in a way where I appreciate and recognize every choice was very, very purposeful. This is a movie with such industrial, inhuman sound design. It is loud and visceral and made to make you feel like you got in a car accident. It's also deeply homoerotic??? So bonus points! Also has some genuinely incredible visual effects. I am sick to my stomach.

Sasori: Audition

I love this movie. Ohhhh it hurts me. It makes me sick. I'm never watching it again. The premise is a man lies about the purpose of an audition, which is not a movie role but to select a potential wife. It doesn't strike him as possible that an actress might catch onto his script that plays out.

The ending scene. This is why it's for Sasori. Such a sweet smile and soothing voice while dismembering someone with piano wire.

Kisame: Ichi the Killer

I'm setting aside the very, very overt sexual text of this movie to focus on what it's trying to say about the enjoyment of violence. It is a bizarrely lighthearted film about two opposites. As YouTuber NyxFears (May Leitz) has put it:

Guy 1: This is a party, I love killing people! Yay! :D

Guy 2: I'm terrified, I hate that I'm violent! Why are we doing this!

It is an incredibly fun yakuza film that also makes you frown really hard at some bits as it becomes really morally questionable.

Itachi: The Handmaiden

Another genuinely excellent movie where the point of it is to throw your soul into a rock tumbler so you can experience the full spectrum of human emotion! It is not only gorgeously made and pleasing to the eye, but it also relies upon your attachment to the regality and poise a character holds, which I think is a similar feeling I give to Itachi when I think about him. It is a cathartic tale that makes you believe love is real by making you, as the audience, suffer to get there as the characters do.

[x-authorship-x]

I did NOT think of that, good call lol. I'm like super curious about your naruto timeline because we all know Naruto is like... a mess and a half and like, everyone knows its a mess and a half but no one has the time to fix the naruto timeline and make it all neat n stuff. (plus, the lack of world building on other elements which makes it even harder to build the time line and now my heart hurts 😀😀)

The ShiObi AU literally does not have any timeline and their ages are ambiguous because i'm too lazy to actually fix the mess that is Naruto. So the fact you actually made a timeline??? props to you!!!

- N

N-anon... You don't know what you've unleashed

Disclaimer: I wrote this Timeline almost exactly three years ago and my reasoning for some decisions has been lost/forgotten. This timeline is specifically for HOPE AU (No Tomorrow, Until Dawn Breaks) and is updated every time I update the fic. Do NOT try to use my timeline against me down the line to fact-check my own work. Do NOT try to correct this timeline against canon events, this AU diverts from canon far beyond a single 'turning point' (e.g Shisui's time travel).

MY TIMELINE: Konohan Reckoning

Y0: Konoha is built, Hashi and Mads are 30 and Tobirama is 25. 

Y5: Kagami, Sarutobi and Danzo etc are born.

Y15: Tsunade etc born (Hashi is grandfather at 45).

Y17: Kakuzu (39) flees after failing to assassinate Hashi(47). He "dies" from the wounds Tobirama (42) gave him, leaving him to steal Taki's Earth Grudge Technique to keep living.

Y18: FIRST WAR. Hashi dies at 48 from mysterious chakra related reasons (EDIT SPOILER) and Tobirama is 2Hokage at 43. Uchiha Police formed. Sakumo is born.

Y21: Sarutobi(16) gets his team(6).

Y25: Kagami(20) has a son (Shunsuke). WAR END.

Y27: Minato, Mikoto(Kagami 22), Kushina born.

Y30: Inoichi etc born.

Y35: Kushina (8) moves to Konoha to become the Jinchuuriki and Mito(65) dies.

Y36: Minato(9) becomes Jiraiya(21)'s apprentice.

Y37: Tobirama dies(62) and Sarutobi(32) is 3Hokage. Uzushio falls (Kushina 10) and Kagami(32) dies (Mikoto 10, Shunsuke 12). Konan, Nagato, Yahiko are born EDIT. SECOND WAR

Y41: Kisame is born.

Y42: Kakashi is born (Sakumo 26) (Minato 15). InoShikaCho gain Akimichi Choka as sensei.

Y43: Anko is born and grows up at the orphanage.

Y44: Shisui is born (Shunsuke 19 and Mikoto 17, Kagami would've been 39). ROOT is created (Danzo 39.) Nagato, Konan, Yahiko (7) meet Jiraiya (29).

Y45: Tsunade(30), Orochimaru(30) and Jiraiya(30) become known as the Sannin. Nawaki(12) dies and Tsunade leaves Konoha. Shisui's grandmother dies (40, Mikoto 18 and Shunsuke 20).

Y46: Kakashi(4) enters academy. WAR END.

Y48: Sakumo(32) dies. Kakashi(6) is promoted to Chuunin and is assigned to Minato(21). Jiraiya (33) officially leaves Konan, Nagato, Yahiko (11).

Y49: THIRD WAR. Mikoto(22) gives birth to Itachi.

Y50: Shisui(6)'s parents(Shunsuke and Kana25) die. Shisui graduates to Genin. 

Y52: October 5th Shisui(8) loses his Genin team (Kazumi-sensei, Mariko-chan, Daiki/chi-kun) and activates his Mangekyou two weeks after turning 8(Oct 19). Inoichi(22) becomes his sensei. Inoichi starts dating Sora shortly afterwards. Yahiko (15) dies, Konan and Nagato lead Akatsuki and overthrow Hanzo. Anko(9) becomes Genin under Orochimaru. EDIT.

Y53: Shisui(9) becomes Chuunin. Itachi(4) is traumatised by war. Inoichi(23) becomes Yamanaka Head and Head of T&I when his father( Inojou ('dictate'+'human' meaning) mind-walks an assassin and is killed during a suicide jutsu. Inoichi(23) and Sora(22) get married. Anko(10) and team fail Chuunin exam.

Y54: Kakashi(12) becomes Jounin. Obito(12) "dies". Minato(26) becomes known as the Yellow Flash and becomes 4Hokage. Rin(12) dies. ROOT is officially disbanded (Danzo 49). Orochimaru(39) becomes a missing-nin. Anko 11 is left with a cursed seal that is managed by the ANBU sealing tattoo artist, OC. WAR END.

Y56: Sasuke is born(Mikoto 28, Fugaku 32). Ino is born(Inoichi 26, Sora 25). Kyuubi is released. Naruto is born and Minato(28) and Kushina(28) die. Sarutobi(51) returns as 3Hokage. Kakashi(14) joins ANBU. Itachi(7) graduates to Genin.

Y57: Itachi(8) becomes a Chuunin.

Y58: Shisui(14) becomes Jounin.

Y60: Shisui(16) joins ANBU alongside Itachi(11). Naruto(4) leaves the Orphanage under the watch of Squad Two(Hound, Jackal, Monkey, Ram.) Shisui gets his first kiss from Anko (17) when saving her from near death on an ANBU rescue.

Y62: Fugaku(38) and the Elders propose a Coup. 

Y63: Itachi(13) becomes ANBU Captain. Shisui(18) enters the Bingo Book as A-Rank Flee-On-Sight Shunshin no Shisui. Itachi is ordered to spy on the Hokage. Shisui is ordered to monitor Itachi. Tenzo(16) joins Squad Two (Kakashi 21, Raidou 23, Genma 23, Shisui 18/19).

Y64: Rookie9 starts at the academy(8). Danzo(58) steals Shisui(19/20)'s eye. Shisui commits suicide. Itachi(15/16) activates his Mangekyou and kills the Uchiha Clan(Mikoto 36, Fugaku 40) with Tobi(22), leaving Sasuke(8...9?) the sole survivor. Kakashi(22/23) leaves ANBU. (Genma23/24, Raidou23/24, Tenzo17/18.). Shisui wakes 2 months in the past and confides in Inoichi, Squad Two and Mikoto. Danzo(58) is beheaded by Mikoto(36) after shisui steals back his grandfather’s eye. ROOT are reunited with family. Tenzo meets Sai and Shin. Shisui becomes official Consultant between T&I and ANBU and liaisons between Uchiha and Hokage. Mikoto becomes a Hime Elder in the Hokage’s advisory council. 

I add characters/events to the timeline as and when i need them. This is only part of the timeline, since any further back uses different reckoning and any further forward is straight up spoilers for the other three arcs/stories in HOPE AU 😂 there are also slight differences in events according to other villages, Kiri and Uzushio especially have minor amendments that I edited out for readability's sake

Final Note: if anyone uses my timeline to make their own, please credit me at least in name because this took days and actual math. If I find this reposted anywhere, I will be extremely aggravated

[pyropsychiccollector]

Nagisa Harem: Mother's Day

Yukiko: Aren't kids the greatest? nwn Akari: *hugs a bouquet of flowers to her chest warmly* They're just the best~ nwn I'll bet it's all Nagisa's influence, too! I was never as sweet as Aguri-chan. So wholesome~ nwn Yukiko: *tilts head a little* Well, I guess Nagato takes after his dad a lot... But Aguri-chan seems a lot like what I remember of you. ... Well, what "Kaede" was like. Akari: *giggles nervously* Y-Yeah... Um. About that. Remember, some of that was an act. (人◕ω◕);;; I could be sweet with my Big Sis, but she was hardly around... My old costars will tell you what I was like at my worst. >_< Aguri-chan isn't a diva like I was. Heck, she's not even an actress, and I'm keeping it that way. @___@*** Yukiko: O-Oh... W-Well, you still got better! n___n; I'm sure Aguri-chan would be fine if she went into showbiz. She's got you and Nagisa. :3 Akari: Don't YOU start! DX *grumble, grumble* So long as Aguri-chan's not looking that way, I'm steering her clear of my worst mistakes. *nods sagely* Yukiko: But... doesn't Aguri-chan already complain about how small she is? Are you gonna stop her if she starts raving about chest sizes way bigger than her? o.o Akari: That's not a mistake, that's a grave injustice!!! DX Stupid genes. >w< Yukiko: n___n;;; Well, Aguri-chan aside... Nagato seems more vested in his sketchbook and his own imagination? Akari: nwn Nagato's a good boy~... He just turned 13, but I can trust he won't run off with just any old girl~... He's too much like his dad! So shy~ nwn Yukiko: He does like to help people, though... n___n;;; Akari: *deadpans* Yukiko-chan, don't ruin this for me. >_> What about Izumi and Junpei, huh? The twins'll be turning 13 next year~... Yukiko: Akari-chan... You know my babies aren't into that stuff yet. n___n* Akari: (人◕ω◕) But they keep getting compliments about their "dashing good looks"? Yukiko: n___n* They'll be fine. They have each other to fall back on... And more importantly, they care more about video game nights with the family than that other stuff you're all anxious about~... Akari: ... I suppose Aguri-chan looks up to them. Yukiko: *nods sagely* n___n They got me an advanced copy of the game based off of Fuwa-chan's latest series~... I'm not worried. My kids are good eggs~! Akari: How'd they do that? I thought that thing wasn't due for a couple months. Yukiko: Fuwa-cha. :3 Don't forget, both our kids enjoy her manga~... Akari: Oh yeah! :3 Well, I suppose that's great for you. I got these - *holds up flowers* - and pudding. nwn Yukiko: ... Pudding? Akari: It's not the mountain we made, but it's still a lot of pudding~! *___* Yukiko: i... see...n___n;;; Akari: Wonder how Rio's faring. Yui-chan's a sweetie... But Konan-chan's a wild card. Yukiko: ... Oh. Akari: What's "oh"? >___> Yukiko: Well, I was wondering where Nagisa got off to. And... I just remembered seeing Yui and Konan handing Rio a big shopping bag from the mall before she ran off to the master bedroom, squealing. Akari: ... Yukiko: Well, it wasn't just any shopping bag... I recognized it as one from a lingerie store... Akari: ......... Yukiko: n___n;;; So we might not be seeing Nagisa for a few hours. Akari: RIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)

[reddawnmultimuse]

I won't loan you 10,000, Hidan.

I will gift it to you 10,000, on the condition that you go out on a date with Konan-chan.

And if you consent to let me dress you stylishly (in a way that is in line with your religion), I will also arrange and cover the expenses for transport, the meal, and the entertainment.

(And if she doesn't show up, then there will be consequences...)

Hidan quietly eyeballs Orochimaru for a long moment before finally saying, "Pass. I don't need no handouts with winnin' over my Angel n' not from no snake."

Not to mention that Konan may be mad with him if she learned he was collaborating with Orochimaru of all people. Also, Hidan had a bad feeling that something unfortunate might happen to Konan if she rejected him--again.

[narutoversevacation]

Photo Text:

Iwagakure Day 5 Recap

'Rock Candy'

‘Excess’ by @lightweaving

Codename: Fox

Featuring Konan having to attend a wedding with no idea of their customs and being offended as hell by everything, Deidara being absolutely no help and basically throwing a temper tantrum, and Konan accidentally getting drunk (which tbh is really easy to do with those fruity drinks HAHA)

‘Hardened’ by @clem-chan

Codename; Bighorn Sheep

Kurotsuchi has always been more fire than earth. Like him.

[reussir-a-tout-prix]

Pierre Ghislain Atcho, l'arbitre qui a fait polémique ! Le match de huitièmes de finale de la CAN 2023 entre le Sénégal et la Côte d'Ivoire, pays organisateur, a été marqué par plusieurs décisions controversées de l'arbitre gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho. Celui-ci est au cœur d'un scandale après avoir été accusé de corruption et de partialité par les Sénégalais, qui ont été éliminés aux tirs au but. Pierre Ghislain Atcho, l'arbitre qui a fait polémique Pierre Ghislain Atcho , arbitre gabonais , au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire L'arbitre a notamment refusé d'aller consulter la VAR pour une faute sur Ismaïla Sarr dans la surface ivoirienne, alors que le Sénégal menait 1-0. Il a ensuite accordé un penalty à la Côte d'Ivoire pour une faute d'Edouard Mendy sur Nicolas Pépé, après avoir consulté la VAR. Ce penalty a permis à Franck Kessié d'égaliser à la 88e minute et de relancer les Éléphants. L'arbitre a également été critiqué pour ne pas avoir sanctionné plus sévèrement le tacle dangereux de Sadio Mané sur Ibrahim Sangaré dès la 10e minute, qui n'a valu qu'un carton jaune au capitaine sénégalais. Il a aussi été soupçonné d'avoir favorisé les Ivoiriens lors des prolongations et des tirs au but. →A lire aussi À la CAN, la Côte d'Ivoire et son nouvel entraîneur Emerse Faé en mission Plusieurs médias et personnalités du football africain ont dénoncé l'arbitrage de Pierre Ghislain Atcho, qui a scandalisé le monde entier. Le latéral droit sénégalais Krepin Diatta a même traité la CAF de corrompue et lui a demandé de garder sa coupe d'Afrique. Le président de la Fédération sénégalaise de football, Augustin Senghor, a quant à lui réclamé des explications à la CAF et à la commission des arbitres. CAN 2023 : L’arbitre gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire Pierre Ghislain Atcho , arbitre gabonais , au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire 1 Le Gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho a été désigné par la CAF pour arbitrer le huitième de finale de la CAN 2023 entre le Sénégal et la Côte d’Ivoire lundi à Yamoussoukro (20h00 GMT). Pierre Ghislain Atcho (31 ans) a été désigné jeudi par la CAF pour officier en tant qu’arbitre de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire, sixième match des huitièmes de finale de la Coupe d’Afrique des Nations qui aura lieu lundi soir au Stade Charles-Konan-Banny de Yamoussoukro (20h00 GMT). Le Gabonais sera assisté de son compatriote Boris Marlaise Ditsoga et de la Camerounaise Carine Atezambong Fomo. Tensions au CAN 2023 La Côte d'Ivoire au Bord de l'Élimination, le Sénégal en Pôle Position →A lire aussi 🔴[LIVE] Nigeria 2-0 Cameroun en direct , le résumé du match / 🔥 CAN 2024, 8es de finale Atcho, arbitre de la finale Algérie – Sénégal du dernier CHAN, participe à sa première CAN mais dirigera son deuxième match en Côte d’Ivoire puisque c’est lui qui avait arbitré le choc entre l’Égypte et le Ghana (2-2), lors de la phase de groupes. Enfin, la Marocaine Bouchra Karboubi sera la quatrième arbitre dans ce duel entre Lions et Eléphants, alors que la Mauricienne Maria Rivet sera à la VAR.

[katakaal]

Pierre Ghislain Atcho, l'arbitre qui a fait polémique ! Le match de huitièmes de finale de la CAN 2023 entre le Sénégal et la Côte d'Ivoire, pays organisateur, a été marqué par plusieurs décisions controversées de l'arbitre gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho. Celui-ci est au cœur d'un scandale après avoir été accusé de corruption et de partialité par les Sénégalais, qui ont été éliminés aux tirs au but. Pierre Ghislain Atcho, l'arbitre qui a fait polémique Pierre Ghislain Atcho , arbitre gabonais , au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire L'arbitre a notamment refusé d'aller consulter la VAR pour une faute sur Ismaïla Sarr dans la surface ivoirienne, alors que le Sénégal menait 1-0. Il a ensuite accordé un penalty à la Côte d'Ivoire pour une faute d'Edouard Mendy sur Nicolas Pépé, après avoir consulté la VAR. Ce penalty a permis à Franck Kessié d'égaliser à la 88e minute et de relancer les Éléphants. L'arbitre a également été critiqué pour ne pas avoir sanctionné plus sévèrement le tacle dangereux de Sadio Mané sur Ibrahim Sangaré dès la 10e minute, qui n'a valu qu'un carton jaune au capitaine sénégalais. Il a aussi été soupçonné d'avoir favorisé les Ivoiriens lors des prolongations et des tirs au but. →A lire aussi À la CAN, la Côte d'Ivoire et son nouvel entraîneur Emerse Faé en mission Plusieurs médias et personnalités du football africain ont dénoncé l'arbitrage de Pierre Ghislain Atcho, qui a scandalisé le monde entier. Le latéral droit sénégalais Krepin Diatta a même traité la CAF de corrompue et lui a demandé de garder sa coupe d'Afrique. Le président de la Fédération sénégalaise de football, Augustin Senghor, a quant à lui réclamé des explications à la CAF et à la commission des arbitres. CAN 2023 : L’arbitre gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire Pierre Ghislain Atcho , arbitre gabonais , au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire 1 Le Gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho a été désigné par la CAF pour arbitrer le huitième de finale de la CAN 2023 entre le Sénégal et la Côte d’Ivoire lundi à Yamoussoukro (20h00 GMT). Pierre Ghislain Atcho (31 ans) a été désigné jeudi par la CAF pour officier en tant qu’arbitre de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire, sixième match des huitièmes de finale de la Coupe d’Afrique des Nations qui aura lieu lundi soir au Stade Charles-Konan-Banny de Yamoussoukro (20h00 GMT). Le Gabonais sera assisté de son compatriote Boris Marlaise Ditsoga et de la Camerounaise Carine Atezambong Fomo. Tensions au CAN 2023 La Côte d'Ivoire au Bord de l'Élimination, le Sénégal en Pôle Position →A lire aussi 🔴[LIVE] Nigeria 2-0 Cameroun en direct , le résumé du match / 🔥 CAN 2024, 8es de finale Atcho, arbitre de la finale Algérie – Sénégal du dernier CHAN, participe à sa première CAN mais dirigera son deuxième match en Côte d’Ivoire puisque c’est lui qui avait arbitré le choc entre l’Égypte et le Ghana (2-2), lors de la phase de groupes. Enfin, la Marocaine Bouchra Karboubi sera la quatrième arbitre dans ce duel entre Lions et Eléphants, alors que la Mauricienne Maria Rivet sera à la VAR.

[baitibindja]

Pierre Ghislain Atcho, l'arbitre qui a fait polémique ! Le match de huitièmes de finale de la CAN 2023 entre le Sénégal et la Côte d'Ivoire, pays organisateur, a été marqué par plusieurs décisions controversées de l'arbitre gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho. Celui-ci est au cœur d'un scandale après avoir été accusé de corruption et de partialité par les Sénégalais, qui ont été éliminés aux tirs au but. Pierre Ghislain Atcho, l'arbitre qui a fait polémique Pierre Ghislain Atcho , arbitre gabonais , au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire L'arbitre a notamment refusé d'aller consulter la VAR pour une faute sur Ismaïla Sarr dans la surface ivoirienne, alors que le Sénégal menait 1-0. Il a ensuite accordé un penalty à la Côte d'Ivoire pour une faute d'Edouard Mendy sur Nicolas Pépé, après avoir consulté la VAR. Ce penalty a permis à Franck Kessié d'égaliser à la 88e minute et de relancer les Éléphants. L'arbitre a également été critiqué pour ne pas avoir sanctionné plus sévèrement le tacle dangereux de Sadio Mané sur Ibrahim Sangaré dès la 10e minute, qui n'a valu qu'un carton jaune au capitaine sénégalais. Il a aussi été soupçonné d'avoir favorisé les Ivoiriens lors des prolongations et des tirs au but. →A lire aussi À la CAN, la Côte d'Ivoire et son nouvel entraîneur Emerse Faé en mission Plusieurs médias et personnalités du football africain ont dénoncé l'arbitrage de Pierre Ghislain Atcho, qui a scandalisé le monde entier. Le latéral droit sénégalais Krepin Diatta a même traité la CAF de corrompue et lui a demandé de garder sa coupe d'Afrique. Le président de la Fédération sénégalaise de football, Augustin Senghor, a quant à lui réclamé des explications à la CAF et à la commission des arbitres. CAN 2023 : L’arbitre gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire Pierre Ghislain Atcho , arbitre gabonais , au sifflet de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire 1 Le Gabonais Pierre Ghislain Atcho a été désigné par la CAF pour arbitrer le huitième de finale de la CAN 2023 entre le Sénégal et la Côte d’Ivoire lundi à Yamoussoukro (20h00 GMT). Pierre Ghislain Atcho (31 ans) a été désigné jeudi par la CAF pour officier en tant qu’arbitre de Sénégal – Côte d’Ivoire, sixième match des huitièmes de finale de la Coupe d’Afrique des Nations qui aura lieu lundi soir au Stade Charles-Konan-Banny de Yamoussoukro (20h00 GMT). Le Gabonais sera assisté de son compatriote Boris Marlaise Ditsoga et de la Camerounaise Carine Atezambong Fomo. Tensions au CAN 2023 La Côte d'Ivoire au Bord de l'Élimination, le Sénégal en Pôle Position →A lire aussi 🔴[LIVE] Nigeria 2-0 Cameroun en direct , le résumé du match / 🔥 CAN 2024, 8es de finale Atcho, arbitre de la finale Algérie – Sénégal du dernier CHAN, participe à sa première CAN mais dirigera son deuxième match en Côte d’Ivoire puisque c’est lui qui avait arbitré le choc entre l’Égypte et le Ghana (2-2), lors de la phase de groupes. Enfin, la Marocaine Bouchra Karboubi sera la quatrième arbitre dans ce duel entre Lions et Eléphants, alors que la Mauricienne Maria Rivet sera à la VAR.

[ask-kakuhida]

Could you please draw them sleeping together also I really love your blog

[beluageist]

a very late gift for @escape-chan for the @akatsuki-gift-exchange event!! 

I love modern AUs where the Akatsuki are a crime syndicate and you wanted Fake Married KakuKona, so here’s two mob bosses faking a marriage just to expand their hold over a common rival gang! 

Kakuzu is one of the richest crime lords and I’d see Konan’s specialty being laws and contracts, permits and certificates, ya know... paper stuff. She’s The Queen, untouchable, and no crimes can actually be pinned down on her since she always has a paper trail to show off as alibi. They cover each other’s blind spot, so if something can’t be outright bought it can be twisted in their favor somehow through shiny new documents.

Obviously they’re mutually pining and it’s a disaster to watch them figuratively dance circles around each other ~~~