#last night i felt like i was going to fucking die from anxiety

[vermillioncrown]

i can't talk about specifics bc too detailed, but tldr:

everyone started off w saying the presentation was good

my advisor actually called my presentation "immaculate"

answered every question to the point we had off-the-books (not for corrections, but for curiosity) discussion

holy fucking shit i was standing for three hours straight (1 h 50 m non-stop verm infodump lmao, then 1 h of closed questioning, and then another 10-20 m of committee deliberation)

(to put into scope: defense presentations should aim to be 60-75 mins at most and 15 min questions)

(everyone agreed it actually needed the whole time bc of the sheer scale of the work)

the committee all agreed that the work is a very big contribution w immense practicality to the field

i just need to finish the document, add their suggested corrections, and that's fucking it 😎😎😎😎😎

=====

what does that mean for fanfic?

well. i need to prioritize my corrections bc uh lol my job deadline is by the end of the month

but i think i'll have enough bandwidth to be creative again, so likely i'll be writing and noodling as i make those corrections, so no promises but we'll see if anything gets posted

[17020]

RULE OF THIRDS

High school is home for a lot of things, including jealousy and drama. My boyfriend's misery is your enjoyment this time! This is love triangles, with the Wind Breaker men. Warnings for manga spoilers (last blurb), drinking, ooc ume (sawrryyyy) !! tagging @kaiser1ns !!

A NIGHT OF REVELATIONS.

REN KAJI, featuring TOMA HIRAGI

Ren Kaji set aside his ego and pride to attend some afterparty because he knew you would be there. That meant a lot.

And at first, everything was... fine? He stepped out of his comfort zone, headphones down as he listened to the beats of the music which played over the speakers. His eyes met yours, with you linking your pinky with his.

"What? You wanna dance with me?" he questioned, his tone almost accusatory. It was what he wanted more than anything, yet he made it sound as if it was your desire. The mere thought of your skin grazing his made his heart want to burst out of his chest.

"You want me to dance to Feid? No fucking way Rennie, I don't dance to that. Plus, you should take care of Toma, he's on another planet."

Sure, the song was ass, yet he still felt his heart shatter. He watched as you waltzed away, heading towards your friend group to chat. Kaji turned his head to the side, only to find his upperclassmen staring back at him. His bloodshot eyes were puffy, lips pursed before he raised an almost empty bottle of god-knows-what to his lips.

Great. Now he has to babysit.

When he sat down next to Hiragi, Kaji had a bad feeling.

“M’gonna do it tonight, Kaji.”

Call it foresight, or a crazy good intuition, but Ren Kaji knew his heart would sink this very night. “Good” he hummed. It was the only thing to come out of his mouth, as he felt his stomach churn from the anxiety.

“Ya sure ya don’t feel anything for her?”

“All good” he squeaked, “let me know how it goes.”

When he found you a while later, Kaji was stunned. There you were, drunk out of your mind and blowing smoke out of your pretty lips, body swaying to one of Fanny Lu's greatest hits.

With Kota. Fucking. Sako.

It was a night of revelations, seeing as the once grumpy blond had a tiny smile on his face, mouthing the lyrics to Don Juan while facing you. His stiff body was now in sync with yours, chuckles escaping your lips as you commented on how great of a dancer he was.

Kaji saw you stumble, and he took that as a sign. He knew he had to care for you. That, and the fact that he also had to get you away from Sako, for his own mental wellbeing. With his hand getting ahold of yours, Kaji guided you to a more secluded space of the patio, patting your head and asking if you're okay.

"You should go home, Yn. You've had enough to drink."

When he asked to hang with you the day after, Kaji was wary. Sitting down next to one another in one of Cactus Bakery's booths, he sighed.

"You got home safe?"

"Mhm."

"You didn't dance with me."

"Yeah, I didn't."

"You did with Sako, though."

Resting your head on his shoulder, you laughed. "Fanny Lu is certainly not denied to anyone! If you had chosen another song other than Feid's, I certainly would've danced with you, Rennie."

A small smile appeared on his face as his mind raced on about what could have been the greatest night of his life, only to come back to his senses after he realized it could have been someone else's.

"Anything else happen?"

"Yeah" you shrugged, "Hiragi texted me this morning, said he liked me."

He froze. Since when was he Hiragi to you?

"...well, what'd you say?"

Ren Kaji thought he was going to die.

"Turned him down. He's like a brother to me, and I made that abundantly clear. He took it well, so that's that! He thanked me for being so mature about it."

Last night was now certainly the greatest night of Kaji's life, as he realized he still has a chance.

WHEN ONE STORY CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS.

HAJIME UMEMIYA, featuring JO TOGAME

Hajime Umemiya was going to pop a blood vessel when he saw none other than Shishitoren's second-in-command's hand holding yours, noses nearly grazing each other as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. Your giggles, which were once his favorite tune, were now like nails on a chalkboard.

Because it was Togame who made you laugh.

His anger was indetectable, a smile plastered on his face as he observed the way in which you laughed at his jokes, how you tilted your head to the side and looked at him with those alluring eyes of yours, how you reached out to him when talking.

Screw that, it was so obvious that Umemiya was fucking jealous, as his eyes were squinted, his face had an expression of disgust, and one could swear that his left eyelid was trembling.

When you went to him a few days later telling him you had exchanged socials with Togame, Umemiya simply nodded with a smile on his face, congratulating you on how well things were going. He thought his soul was going to leave his body.

"He said he used to play street ball, and he played as a striker, and he wants to play volleyball with me! Can you believe that, Ume?"

"That's great, Yn! Y'know I used to play street ball too, I was well-known for that back in the day, I used to play for my middle school as a striker" he grinned, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I could teach you to play both sports if you'd like! You wouldn't have to hop onto Shishitoren turf that way."

Hajime Umemiya was utterly adorable.

That same night you received a text.

UME !! <3 This Thursday me and my siblings are gonna play ball! You wanna join?

Umemiya's t-shirt fit you like a glove.

Having little attire for a match, Umemiya offered to gift you one of his shirts for you to play in, and the white and baby blue stripes made you look fantastic. To him, you were an angel sent from heaven to bless his eyes, as well as the football 'field'.

After playing like total lunatics, Umemiya sat down cross-legged in the middle of the park's grass, you laying down and having your head resting on his thighs.

What Umemiya wanted to do in that moment was kiss you senseless.

"Hey Ume... can you help me with something?"

"Sure thing."

"Togame's sort of being a bit pushy, and I don't have any interest in him at all. Can you take a picture with me so that he'll shoo?"

His eyes sparkled more than the world's most expensive diamond. He excitedly nodded, asking you to open your phone's camera as he gently moved so that he laid beside you, resting his head on your shoulder and his arm wrapped around your waist.

Click!

Umemiya felt like the luckiest man in the world when he found out Togame had seen your story with him and had suddenly ghosted you.

GOOD PEOPLE, GOOD DEEDS.

HARUKA SAKURA, featuring YAMATO ENDO

When Haruka Sakura heard of a certain someone's temporary return to Furin, he thought nothing of it. Except for when that certain someone came waltzing up to him after seeing him interact with you a few minutes prior, a smug smile on his face.

"So, Sakura! Mind slippin' me her number?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah! That girl you were talking to before, she's totally my type."

"And why the hell would I do that?"

Endo laughed as he placed his arm on Sakura's shoulders, seeing how the boy in question's face turned beet red. "Because, Sakura, you're a good person! Good people do good deeds!"

There was no way in hell Haruka Sakura was giving him your number. Matter of fact, he didn't budge!

So why in the fuck were you giggling in front of him at Pothos, telling him Yamato Endo was in your messages asking you out to breakfast?

Sakura's eye started to twitch as he asked how he got your number, nearly spitting out his omelette rice when you told him Nirei had given him your number. When you told him that Endo was planning on coming to Furin on Saturday to meet up with you, his face became a newfound shade of red. Whether it was from anger or from Endo's affection towards you, he did not know.

Friday came by, and to Sakura's surprise...

"Oh gosh, Haru!"

"What's going on?"

"Endo cancelled breakfast, said he couldn't make it since he's on his turf and can't come to Bofurin's."

"'s a shit move to cancel last minute."

"But, Tsubaki told me there's a party over at Keisei street tomorrow night. Wanna come with? I don't wanna go alone."

Sakura's ears and cheeks were flushed as he stuttered a reply: a meek and simple 'yeah'. You smiled as you wrapped your arms around Sakura, too excited to even let him react. When Saturday night came around, you thought you were going to die.

Yamato Endo was in Keisei street, grinding on another girl as he asked for her number.

Your jaw dropped to the floor. To your surprise, Sakura was even more enraged than you were. Grabbing your wrist, he dragged you over to a bench, sitting you down and placing your head on his shoulder.

"Let it out."

Confused, you asked what he meant by it. He laid his head on top of yours, with you feeling how his stiff body slowly softened as he sighed.

"I said let it out. Yer obviously hurt by that asshole, so let it out."

Your sobs were swallowed by the blaring music, but for some reason, the sadness quickly faded away, instead being replaced with a sense of tranquility. As if you belonged there, with Sakura by your side.

Sakura was sure that Yamato Endo was a good person, doing him a favor by leaving you all to himself.

note. this is for my boyfriend. this is what you get for calling me your stinky poo. i am not a poo. the poos are your friends who tried to get with me later on. or perchance the poo has been you all along, because you did not give one shit that they liked me and you made your move. love always, your PRINCESS NOT POO.

[todomochi-uwu]

Who (5/?) J. Y & S. M

Pairing: Poly! Jeong Yunho x reader x Song Mingi

Genre: Angst, Smut

Warnings: This content is for a mature audience

Synopsis: You can't remember when was the last time you spent time with them, the last "I love you", the last time any of them kissed you.

Other chapters: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

NOTES: This was a nightmare to write, between the holidays and writer’s block, I wanted to die. I hope you like it. If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee . I promise next chapter will contain SMUT, so beware of that.

“What are you doing, Y/n?” Said Yunho as soon as he dragged you out of the club.

“What are YOU doing, Yunho? How the fuck did you know I was here?” You stumbled backwards, anxiety and alcohol are not a good combo.

“I came to talk, Minho brought me here. I have spent every single day of the last three months trying to find and talk to you, and all this time you were doing this?” Hurt in his voice, his face red and eyes glossy. You examined him for a second, deep dark eyebags sunken his eyes, his lips cracked and pale, and his once broad chest now looked thinner, bony. He looked so different, you almost couldn’t recognize him.

“It’s not like that…” He cut you off.

“Then, how is it? Because to me it looked like you were making out with your so-called best friend. Explain it to me, Y/n.”

“I don’t have to explain shit to you.” You stomped, getting closer, “You have a lot of nerve coming in here and accusing me of anything,” You jabbed your finger against his chest again and again. “We are not together. You drove me away. You broke my heart.” Tears of anger streamed down your face, and your wounded heart disintegrated with each word.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry, please come home with me, we can talk and…”

You turned around when you heard Han coming out of the club, Minho right behind him, following a very angry-looking Christopher.

“Bang Chan, calm down!” Said Minho.

“What are you doing here, Jeong?” Chan intervened, pushing you behind him.

“This doesn’t concern you, Chan. Please let me talk to her.” He tried going past Chris.

“Why don’t you leave her alone? She doesn’t want to see you. Fuck off.” Chan’s voice laced with venom, alcohol and rage ran through his veins, clouding his judgment.

“Chan.” The taller man tried again.

“Fuck you, Yunho. Where were you before when she needed you, huh?” Chris pushed the taller man, “Where were you when she spent every single night crying herself to sleep?” Push. “Where were you when she felt worthless?” Push.

“Chan, stop. You are drunk.” Han said.

“That’s right. You were not there, but guess who was? Me. I spent every single minute comforting her, reassuring her that it was not her fault, and helping her move on.”

“Oh, I am well aware of how much you would love for her to get over us, I’ve known it for a long time.” Yunho pushed back, “But I’ll be dead the day I let that happen.”

“Yunho, please stop.”

“I fucked up, okay? I’m not saying I didn’t, but I want to fix it. If I have to get on my knees I will, if I have to beg I will, whatever you want me to do I’ll do it. Please give me a chance.” Yunho said kneeling.

“Yunho.” You said in tears.

Chan scoffed, shaking his head, “Why should you get a second chance?”

Minho physically cringed, he knew it wasn’t about Yunho and Mingi getting a chance to redeem themselves, it was about Chan not getting the same opportunity.

“Chan, buddy, please back off.” He said while grabbing his friend by the shoulders.

Chan shook him off. He looked at you, “Y/n you know best. Please don’t go back to them.” He pleaded with what little strength he had left. But you could only see a begging Yunho on the floor, a mix of emotions reflected in your eyes, anger, fear, but on top of them was longing. He could feel his heart break all over again, he would never be at the receiving of those feelings. The door had closed a long time, and even if you didn’t know it, he did, it would never open again. He needed to get away from the scene. A knot forming in his throat, all his bottled-up love dying in his chest, he was going to throw up.

“Y/n, please come home, we can talk, we won't pressure you or anything, just please, please come home.” Yunho extended his hand your way.

You turned to look at Chan, but he no longer was there. You found Jisung’s eyes, looking for an answer in them. On one hand, your heart craved him, wanting nothing more than for him to take you in his arms. But then the more rational part of your brain reminded you of the hell you went through in the last months. Could you go back to them? And if not, could you live without them? Your best friend looked you in the eyes, worry and uncertainty filled them, but in the end, he simply nodded.

Yunho was waiting for you, silently begging for you to take his hand, to come back to them. And when you finally did, you could see the way his entire body relaxed, you couldn’t blame him, a part of you also felt at peace after all this time.

“This doesn’t mean we are back together; I hope you know that.” You whispered to him.

“I know.” He looked around for Minho, “We are taking a cab, I don’t want to bother you anymore.” He nodded back.

Jisung approached and gently embraced you in his arms. “Call me, okay?”

“Hannie, about Chan…” He cut you off.

“Don’t worry about him, we’ll take care of that.” He gave you a weak smile, before turning to his husband.

-------------------------------------------------------

Yunho opened the door as soon as the cab arrived, sat next to you and told the driver where to go. Your heart was almost beating out of your chest, sweaty hands gripped the ends of your skirt, and eyes that didn’t dare look away from the window.

“Are you cold?” He said, already taking his jacket off to give it to you.

“No, no, I’m okay.” Your brain made a connection a second later, “Wait, where’s…”

His phone went off like crazy, texts and calls showed up all at the same time, he pulled out of his pocket revealing the contact, “Shit.” He pressed to answer.

“Hey, Mingi, did you…” You could hear the exasperated voice of the younger man behind the phone, not being able to make out what he was saying.

“No, Mingi, I’m…” Cut off again.

“I know, but please…” Again.

“Will you …” And again.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. Oh, how you missed them.

“Mingi, will you please just shut up?” He whispered, “Listen, go home, I’m on my way there.”

Mumbling.

“You can leave, umm she’s, umm she’s with me.” He said as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

Mumbling.

“Go home, we’ll meet you there.” He hung up.

An uncomfortable silence filled the car, you didn’t know where to look, or what to do or say. Yunho was in a similar situation. Twice you caught him almost putting his hand on your knee, before remembering the situation you were in, muscle memory it must have been.

You knew the streets on your way to their place, left turn here, right turn there. A convenience store you used to walk to late at night to get ramen when you couldn't sleep. A dog park they swore you would go to with a new puppy when things “calmed down” at work. It made your heart sink to remember what you used to be, what you used to have.

So lost in your head, you didn’t notice the ride had ended, Yunho handed the driver some money and immediately took your hand, getting out of the car. The nerves getting worse each second, you could feel yourself shaking. The alcohol in your stomach bubbling threatening to make its way back up.

And then you saw Mingi.

He was sitting outside the door, his head between his knees, gently rocking himself back and forth, and you could hear some mumbling but couldn’t quite get what he was saying. He looked so small, so fragile, and while it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. Without thinking you approached him, kneeling by his side.

“Hello, Mingi.” You whispered.

He had been so into his thoughts he almost fell back when he heard you. His chest went up and down quickly, trying not to choke on the anxiety, his eyes doubting who they were seeing, but he tried to compose himself. “Hey, Y/n.” His hands shifted, but he tensed to prevent them from touching you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

A few moments went by, neither of you knowing what to say. “Why don’t we go in? We have a lot to talk about and it's freezing cold out here.” You had almost forgotten Yunho was also there.

“Okay.”

-------------------------------------------------------

Minho and Jisung didn’t have a clue what to say on the ride back home. Chan was in the backseat, His head resting against the window, small tears threatening to come out of his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them, not until he was sure no one would see him.

“Chan.” Jisung tried.

“Don’t, just don’t.”

“Chan, you know this is for the best. They need to solve whatever is going on…” Minho started but was quickly cut off by the older man.

“And you were so eager to help them do that, weren’t you?”

“Chan, that’s not…”

“Leave it alone, Minho. You’ve done enough.”

Jisung didn’t want to give up just yet, “Channie, please. Minho would never do anything to hurt you, but you know she’s still in love with them, and…”

“Don’t you think I know that? I have seen it every single day for the last few months. I have seen her cry every goddamn night because she missed them. I’ve seen her reading their conversations again and again. Hell, I have heard everything single fucking detail about those two, I did it then and I did it now. But tonight, for a single moment in almost six years, she didn’t think about them, she didn’t see them in me, it was only me and her. She kissed me. She wanted me. For once, she was mine again.”

Minho felt bad for what was about to come from his lips, but it needed to be done, “Then why did she leave with Yunho?” The car stopped.

And Chan got off, slamming the door on his way out.

-------------------------------------------------------

­The three of you were sitting on the floor of the living room. Yunho was leaning against an old couch Seonghwa had gifted you when you all moved in together. Mingi was next to a shabby coffee table you used to use as an “everything” table when you couldn’t afford anything else. You haven’t lived here in months, yet it still felt like home.

You had rehearsed thousands of times what you would say to them if you ever were in this situation. All the things that they did or said that made you die on the inside, you would cry and scream all you wanted and they would have to listen. You would tell Yunho how much you hated how cold he had turned. Tell Mingi how tired you were of him always coming home in a bad mood. Tell them how much you had missed them emotionally, and also physically, how they hadn’t stopped to look at you in months, let alone even touched you.

But as opposed to all the scenarios in your head, your mouth was dry.

“I’m sorry.” Mingi was the first who dared to speak, you wouldn’t have been able to hear him if you weren’t sitting next to him. “I’m so sorry about everything we did, I’m sorry for taking you for granted, I’m sorry about neglecting you, I’m sorry I was not there when you needed me, I’m sorry for not listening, I’m sorry for making you leave, I’m sorry for…” And so, the word vomit began, it came laced with months and months of tears Mingi didn’t know he had yet to spill.

“Okay, okay. Mingi, calm down.” You moved closer to him, wiping his cheeks.

“Nothing’s okay if you are not here, Y/n. I’m not okay if you are not here, Yunho is not either.” He pointed to Yunho.

You turned to look at the taller man, only to find him in an equal or worse state than the man in front of you, “I’m so sorry, my love.” He said between gasps.

Seeing them like this was enough to put you in the same state.

“I miss you so much, Y/n,” Yunho said while coming close to you. Both of them surrounded you, trapping you between their arms and sobs. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, for not making you my priority.”

“We will do anything, whatever you want you’ve got it, just please don’t leave again, please,” Mingi begged.

“Okay, let's talk, please?”

They both nodded and so the night began.

-------------------------------------------------------

“You have to talk to me about how you are feeling, you cannot bottle up and expect me to be okay with not knowing what’s going on in your life.” You said leaning against the couch, playing with Mingi’s fingers.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to trouble you.”

“It doesn’t bother me. Yeah, I may not know all those fancy law terms you and Jongho use all the time,” He giggled, “but I want to know if things are going well, if you are having trouble with a client or if you are stressed about a case, and not find out by Jongho calling me to tell me how much of an asshole you are being at work.”

He groaned, “That fucking brat always tells on me.”

“And you,” You looked at Yunho, “when are going to stop that childish rivalry with Minho? You are both grown adults, he’s married and you are engaged, for god’s sake.” You spoke without thinking.

“I’m still engaged?” He looked at you, a little smirk on his face.

“You know what I mean.” You nudged slightly. Mingi was looking at you with the same look on his face, making you blush deeply.

Between laughs and memories, Yunho’s bright look decomposed. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips tightened in a line, he straightened himself and cleared his throat, “There is one thing I want to talk about.”

Both of you looked at him.

“Back at the club, and I know I don’t have any kind of right to complain, but,” He gulped, “What is going on with Chan.”

Oh, right. That.

“Um…, I…, um…” Trying to find the right words. Mingi straightened himself, confused about what Yunho was talking about.

“We won’t be mad; I only want to know if something is going on.”

“Well, um…, Han noticed I was a little distracted tonight, he knew I was still thinking about you two. And until that point, I didn’t know if we were over for good. So…” You scratched your eyebrow, “he suggested it may be time to move on, and that Chan could help me with that.” You mumbled that last part.

Silence.

“I thought Jisung liked us,” Mingi said, trying to lighten up the situation.

“And he does, he was just trying to be a good friend to me.”

“Did something else happen?” Yunho said directly. He needed to know.

You shook your head, “No, it was barely even a kiss.”

“If I hadn’t been there to stop it, would it have turned into anything else?”

“Yunho.” Mingi tried to stop him.

“It’s not fair of you to ask me that.”

“So, it would have.”

“Yunho.” Mingi tried again.

“I don’t know, okay? I have no clue what would have happened.” Your voice escalated.

“Did you think about it?” He kept going.

“What?”

“Did you ever think about doing it? Tonight, or any other night?”

“Okay, that’s enough. You have no fucking right to reproach me for anything, we are not together.” You got up, needing to get away from him.

“I have spent every single night crying myself to sleep because you are not here, Y/n. It hasn't even crossed my mind to move on from you.” He stood up.

“Don’t act like I’m the one who fucked up like I cheated or something.” You grabbed your bag and pulled down your skirt, “This was a mistake, I never should have come here.”

That’s when Mingi saw red sirens in his head, “No, no Y/n, please. Yunho, calm down. Please, let’s calm down.” The poor thing was a mess.

“I’m not going to stay here to hear him accusing me of things that never happened.”

“Yunho’s sorry, tell her you didn’t mean it.”

Yunho’s shoulder slumped, defeated, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. It’s… When I saw you two, I thought I had lost you. I saw all my fears from back in college coming true.”

“What fears?”

He looked at Mingi, who only nodded back. “Back when we had just started dating, we were a bit worried you felt like this relationship was… too much. You would want something more conventional. A relationship where people wouldn’t turn their heads to know why three people are holding hands and kissing. Or one where you didn’t have to answer, how does it work? Over and over again.” His voice cracked at the end.

Mingi took over, “You never told us about Chan, we found out because Jisung talked about it once when he was drunk. We worried there was something else there, some unresolved feelings, I don’t know. And that someday you would go back to him. Throughout the years that fear dissolved, but when we knew you were staying with him. Well, we didn’t know what to think.”

“Whatever I had with Chan ended the day I met you, I’ve only wanted you since that night. Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“As you’ve seen, we are not the best at communication.” Yunho let out a nervous laugh. “I’m so sorry, for all the things I said. It wasn’t my place to ask.”

You got closer to him, “I’m sorry for getting so defensive.” You took his face in your hands, caressing his lip with your thumb, “I love you, Yunho.”

“I love you too.”

“And I love you.” You said taking Mingi’s hand in yours, “but I want you both to understand things are not completely okay because I’m here. I need to know what I’m getting myself into, I can’t go back to feeling like that. I need to be sure it won’t happen again, I get you both being busy, but neglecting me is a whole other story. We’ll go step by step, okay?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Mingi, we talked about going slow.”

“I know, I know. I can’t believe you are back here.” He leaned closer, “so, can I?”

And you may be aching,

“Yes, please.” You whispered against his lips.

But you were also weak.

____________________________________________

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[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

fem!reader face sitting/riding ethan please omg im going insane

Hi! I hope you like it:) ty for your request!

Candy - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: You slept in, so instead of going to class, your boyfriend wants you to sit on his face.

A/N: I'll admit it, I blushed when I wrote this.

You were up late studying at Ethan’s, so he asked you to stay over rather than you trying to drive home in the early morning hours. When you woke up next to him as the sunlight peered through the gap in the curtain, you immediately sat up, frantically checking the time on your phone.

“Fuck, Ethan! It’s almost one!” you yelled, freaking out because your class started in less than 15 minutes.

“Hey, calm down. There’s no way we’ll make it in time,” he said, so nonchalantly that you were questioning what happened to the Ethan that wouldn’t stop stressing about school last night.

“This is the last class before finals, don’t you think we need to at least try to get there?” you asked, anxiety present in your voice.

“Babe, stop stressing. There’s nothing we can do about it,” he said, tiredness evident in his voice, “Just ask that guy that won’t stop trying to flirt with you if we actually missed anything.”

“I thought you didn’t like it when I talked to him?” you giggled, starting to calm down. Ethan was right, there’s no way you’d make it in time, so why freak out about something you can’t fix?

“I don’t, because I know he wants you. But, if it keeps us from having to retake the class, I’m okay with it,” he said, rubbing lazy circles on your back as his eyes remained closed.

“Well, do you want to go get food or something, then? I want to feel like I’m doing something with my day,” you said, looking over to see him smirking.

“I know something we can do,” he said, reaching for your hips.

“Don’t try to insinuate things you’re too tired for,” you said, smiling at him. His half-opened eyes met your alert ones.

“I’m never too tired for that,” he said, trying to sit up. “Orrr, you could just sit on my face.”

You felt your panties dampen at his words. The lusty tone in his half-sleepy voice wasn’t helping, either.

“What if I suffocate you?” you joked, and he started to laugh.

“If I die with my head between your thighs, I die happy.”

His hands started to run up your thighs, caressing them with the tips of his fingers.

“Come on, baby. Take your panties off,” he said, trying to convince you.

You shimmied them down your thighs, leaving you in only one of Ethan’s shirts.

“I’m still worried I’m going to hurt you,” you said, knowing how hard your thighs like to clench together when you cum.

“You won’t, babe. Come here,” he said, and you finally decided to give in.

Your nerves were still there as you straddled him, but way lower than he wanted you to be. You gasped at the feeling of his hard cock under his sweatpants against you.

“Can you just bring your cute ass up here?” he asked, reaching out for you.

You slowly scooted up his body, and once you got closer to his mouth, his arms wrapped around your thighs. You squealed at the feeling. “Just relax, babe. I really want you to get into this, okay?” You nodded at him.

You were still hovering over his mouth, and he wasn’t satisfied with that, so he used his strong arms to fully seat you on his face.

“Oh fuck, Ethan,” you whined as he lazily ate you out. He kept repeating the same action of him dipping his tongue inside of your core, then gliding it up to circle your clit.

He wasn’t trying to rush it, wanting to taste you as long as he could, but you started to get impatient.

“Baby, please go faster,” you said through your labored breathing, as you moved away from his mouth for a minute so he could catch his breath.

“No, I told you I wanted you to get into this. You know what to do, babe,” he said, pulling you back over his mouth with his arms.

He went just as slow, so you started to move your dripping pussy against his tongue.

“Oh shit,” you whined, the stimulation making your legs jolt. You grabbed the headboard as you grinded against him.

He was getting more into it, moaning into your pussy as your thighs started to shake against his head. He licked you faster as you started to feel your orgasm creeping up.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum,” you whimpered, as your hips started moving erratically against him.

You couldn’t control what you were doing, your orgasm so intense that you were sure the headboard would crumble with how hard your hands were gripping it.

Your body started to relax as you moved off of Ethan, who was desperately trying to catch his breath.

“Baby, why didn’t you stop me?” you scolded, running your hand over his chest.

“Remember that thing I said about dying between your thighs? I meant that,” he laughed. “Plus, it’s not my fault your pussy tastes better than candy.”

[evnovaa]

Blame | Chris Sturniolo.

Chris Sturniolo x reader

“I feel stripped of my skin and alone.”

Genre: angst

Warnings: slight anxiety and swearing

a/n: alrightie cuties enjoy!

“Chris you are seriously starting to piss me off can you MOVE.” Nick says to his brother as he stands in his way from getting into their shared apartment.

"Kid, you can walk around me you know that right?" Chris says in an annoyed tone.

Nick rolls his eyes and pushes past him "fucking imbecile, I swear" Nick said mumbling under his breath.

Chris was standing in the door way mainly because he was trying to get a hold of his girlfriend who doesn't seem to be answering the phone. Recently she's been distant and he has been assuming the worst either she is cheating on him or she's hiding something that she might be enduring without his knowledge.

Chris ⭐️ : y/n can you please just respond to say you are okay

Chris⭐️: y/n I don't know what's been going on with you recently, and I'm not fucking akinator this shit is getting annoying.

Read at 9:59pm

Chris is still getting no response from y/n, she's clearly reading his messages which now indicates that she's ignoring him.

"Dude are you gonna stand there there the whole night?" Matt says to him coming down the stairs.

Chris goes ahead and ignores what his brother just said to him, in that moment it sounded like nothing but gibberish as he is still staring at his phone.

"Before Christmas Christopher." Matthew says to him awaiting a response.

Chris sighs and puts his phone in his pocket and walks into their apartment. He shoots straight to his room and shuts the door behind him.

Next morning

Y/n pov

I can see my boyfriend texting me and I know he's gotten irritated with me, but right now he is the last person to be irritated.

Me and Chris have been together for almost 3 years now, he is really amazing and been amazing all these years.

What has changed you may ask? Well all these years he has been amazing but like everyone else their boyfriend may do something they dislike but don't have the heart to say anything. For me it's him and his never ending friendship as he'd like to say with his ex-girlfriend

Earlier yesterday

"She really is incredible, but y/n hates the mention of her, l've noticed anytime I mention Lola around her she tends to get quiet and isn't present in the conversation anymore" Chris says venting to his friend Larry.

"Chris imma have to be honest with you, it is lowkey weird that you're so close to Lola while dating y/n, I don't know the boundaries surrounding your relationship, but usually girls don't want their man parading around with their ex-girlfriend."

"But listen she's more of a friend to me, dating her was like something I did because I felt alone, and needed the reassurance of a partner, but Lola and I grew into friends more than a couple, hence we broke up" Chris knows what he's saying is true in his mind but in his heart he loves Lola still, but refuses to come to terms with it.

"I don't know chrissypoo, you're gonna have to figure that one out with her." Larry says knowing this conversation will be far from productive if anything it was moving in retrograde.

“But Larry nothing is going on with me and Lola so I don’t understand y/n’s avoidance with her.” Chris tries to sound convincing but deep down he know he is spewing utter bullshit.

Chris’s phone stars to ring and he sees it is his girlfriend, he answers the phone as if he is trying to cover up something.

Larry gives him a look of “why do you sound guilty” but they let that moment die silently

“Hey baby!” Chris says

“Oh hey babe…why do you sound like that” y/n says chuckling lightly, but laced with concern and curiosity.

“Oh no it’s nothing I’m just kickin it with Larry, uh do you wanna come over maybe? I miss you.”

“I mean sure I just left the nail salon, but you won’t believe who I bumped into”

“Huh? Who? Was it Aaliyah?” He says mentioning one of their best friends

“No unfortunately, but it was your girlfriend Lola.” Y/n says sarcastically and laughing, hoping Chris would return the same reaction.

“WHAT? Lola is NOT my girlfriend, you are baby why would you say that.” Chris says shocked, mainly because Lola was the person they were talking about not too long ago and the conversation being about y/n’s feelings toward Lola.

“Chris are you okay genuinely what the fuck are you on about” y/n says slightly taken aback by his erratic response.

“Baby I have no idea what you’re talking about, actually let’s talk more when you get home alright?” Chris says quickly, now he knows he is being weird but is trying his very best to play it cool, newsflash it’s not working in his favor.

“Oh uh okay…” y/n says before ending the call not even exchanging goodbye’s and I love you’s like they usually do.

Y/n always had suspicions that she might be Chris’s rebound for Lola but they have been together for too long for that to even make sense in any kind of way. But again y/n is anxious by nature, she overthinks everything. Well tonight she decided that she was gonna go through his phone, she’s hoping and praying to find absolutely nothing to suggest that he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

She gets to the triplets apartment and they all exchanged greetings and ate their brunch together, Larry left a bit earlier so y/n was bummed she couldn’t see him but she continued with her early afternoon with her boyfriend. Chris went with his brothers to film their Wednesday vlog.

Y/n got bored and decided to go to Chris’s room and stay there for a bit, she decided to also watch some Netflix on Chris’s MacBook. She’s done with the episode of her favorite show and as she is about to close the laptop she sees a new IMessage notification from Lola.

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : I’m almost there!

Chris : alright hurry tho😭

Chris: oh also we can’t hang for too long, told y/n I’m out filming with Matt and Nick

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : lying to your girlfriend to meet me🤭 should I be honored?

Chris : should be she would flip if she knew what was happening

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : where are Matt and Nick if she thinks you’re with them?

Chris : oh yeah they are in the area, thrifting lol

Lolaaa👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏻 : ohh okay, also parking rn so see you soon 💋

Chris : ight

Y/n wasn’t crazy, she couldn’t believe what she just read. Everything Chris has ever promised to her has become a lie,

“we never hang out without you around.”

“She’s not even that important to me anymore.”

“I’m glad the friendship is drifting, gives me a chance to focus on us.”

everything he has ever said to her about Lola starts to ring in her head like a bell going haywire. Her vision gets blurry and she couldn’t hold it in, she broke down, she felt like her trust with him is broken and things were going wrong. She doesn’t think straight and decides to call him.

She starts calling him as her tears stream down her face as she sniffles.

“Chris?”

“Hey uhhh I’ll call you back alright? I’m just in the middle of something I promise I’ll call you back”

“Oh okay” before she could finish her sentence he hung up.

Her heart shattered, she was picturing the worst, Was he cheating? Was he out doing things couples would do with her? How many times has she been lied to regarding Lola? All these questions were in her head and she didn’t know how to cope and feel in that moment.

She broke down even more in Chris’s bed and in his hoodie that she wears all the time. She feels her chest closing and her head spinning.

minutes pass and y/n is on the edge of the bed facing the floor and she has never felt more alone in that moment. Chris knew y/n wasn’t social, she didn’t have many friends, if not all her friends were his friends so we’re they actually ever y/‘s friends? She wouldn’t think so.

She gets her car keys and she leaves his apartment.

The drive home felt almost like an out of body experience. She felt like her whole world just ended, she never had trust issues with him till recently, he would mention her more than he should. she didn’t realize it but she was becoming distant in her realization and overthinking when it came down to Lola.

Chris pov

“I missed you a lot y’know” Lola says to Chris with eyes that show yearning and slight sorrow.

“I missed you too, life has been weird without seeing you as much, but I’ve adjusted I guess.” Chris says genuinely, he meant every word, in all seriousness he didn’t know if he still liked the thought of himself with Lola.

“I mean, you’re in a relationship and it made me back off, I didn’t want to but it was out of respect.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, I need you too Lola.” Chris realizes he said the last part of his sentence out loud, if anyone was there they would say that was the worst freudian slip ever.

“You need me? Since when? y/n was all you ever talked about day in and day out.” Lola says looking up at her best friend.

“I mean you’re my friend right? Friends need each other.” Chris says trying to save himself.

“Chris do you still want to be with me? I can’t tell and I need to know I can’t keep sneaking around to meet you.” Lola says pleading with the boy.

Chris has major whiplash in that moment and looks at here with shock, as if she almost read his mind.

“I- no, I’m with y/n, we broke up for a reas-“ Chris gets interrupted by Lola’s lips and he cannot stop it, his lips melted into hers and they shared a moment that only they will be able to describe.

Lola pulls away first from the kiss and is the first to speak.

“You can’t keep lying to yourself Chris, the way you just kissed me contradicts everything you just said does it not?” Lola says looking at him knowing she’s right

“Lola what the fuck was that? You can’t fucking do that I have a girlfriend, I don’t fucking want you!” Chris says yelling out of guilt

“Tell me you don’t want me, say it.” Lola says

“Lola-“

“IF YOU DON’T WANT ME FUCKING SAY IT CHRISTOPHER”

“I CAN’T SAY IT OKAY? I CANT!” Chris yelling at Lola, her eyes enlarged and his eyes were filled with tears and he was filled with guilt and distress.

“I can’t fucking do this Lola.” Chris says as he walks away from Lola leaving her in the middle of the empty parking lot.

Chris calls Matt to tell him to come get him, which he does, Chris enters the car without a word to either of his brothers.

“You okay kid?” Matt says concerned

“Yeah I’m fine, fuck I need to text y/n.”

Chris calls and texts to no response, they arrive at home and still nothing from his girlfriend.

They arrive at their apartment, see y/n’s car isn’t there, sends Chris into a panic.

Chris ⭐️ : y/n can you please just respond to say you are okay

Chris⭐️ : y/n I don't know what's been going on with you recently, and I'm not fucking akinator this shit is getting annoying.

Chris feels nothing but guilt and anger in his body, and he has no idea how to deal with it. His night is filled with crying and silent suffering

He in this moment only has himself to blame.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

A/n: well! That went well didn’t it 😟 #prayfory/n free you my heart 😭🙏🏽 lmk if y’all want pt.2

[theorphicangel]

𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬. | 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Synopsis: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single, brooding man in possession of a good future in genetics, must be in want of a girlfriend.

Or at least a fake one to get his family off his back.

(college au & fake dating trope ft my favourite grumpy man who doesn't fall first but ends up falling harder. ouch.)

ao3

series | next chapter

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝…𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞?

You’re running late.

But then again…is there ever a day when you’re not running late?

It’s hard to differentiate whether it’s due to the fact that you left all your pre-reading till the last minute or if your alarm forgot to go off or if it was due to you oversleeping for an additional thirty minutes because your roommate had dragged you out last night for the fourth freshers party of the week.

Either way, you’re running late. Your bag is frantically packed with notebooks and random essentials, your laptop is less than half-charged and your socks are mismatched. It’s not the best start that you had imagined for your first week of lectures but as you glance at digits in the corner of your phone, you figure that you don’t even have the time to complain.

The campus is still relatively new to you, and also fucking huge. Groups of people swarm around like insects, trying to find their way around to their own lecture. Glancing down at the map app currently open on your phone, a frown reaches your brows.

It seems like you’re still so far away from the humanities block which is on the other side of campus.

You scroll down, pausing your steps to look for another route. If only there was….

‘Want a shortcut? Press here.’

“Yes fucking please.” you mutter to yourself, clicking the bold button absentmindedly.

—

The muffled sound of a robotic voice announcing your destination perks up your mood entirely as you reach the lecture doors of 202. You made it with just about five minutes to spare and you’ve never felt prouder, not even during all those times when you’ve forgotten to study for exams but had luckily gotten away with pretty decent grades.

Entering the hall, you find most seats are taken, nearly all the rows are unavailable. Scanning around desperately, you find a seat near the back next to a guy mindlessly scrolling on his phone. Hastily, you walk to your desired seat before the rest of the row fills up, and you find that as soon as you have taken your seat, there’s no spare seats left at all.

Taking a deep breath, your anxiety now sits comfortably in the pit of your stomach.

This is how college was supposed to go.

Prepared, calm and on time. You’re so relaxed right now that you’re not even slightly bothered about the percentage of your laptop when you slide it open in front of you, knowing that you have your notebooks in your bag if needed. You take a quick sip of water before the lecture begins and soon all conversations in the room seem to die away slowly.

Those unlucky enough to have found a seat, have to settle with sitting on the steps of the lecture hall. A silent sigh of relief that you are not a part of that majority runs through your body. God, you forget that literature was so oversubscribed.

A hushed silence takes over the room and a steady grin creeps at the corner of your lips as you wait for the professor to start.

“Good morning all, it is nice to see you all bright and early for the first genetics lecture of the year. I know some of you had to clear up clashes with microbiology this morning which may be the reason why we are so oversubscribed today, but we’ll make do, there’s plenty of room for everyone.”

Remember that eager, excited smile that you just had a few moments ago? Yeah, well it just died and here was the funeral. You blink in confusion as the words of the lecture settles into your brain.

Genetics? Microbiology? What the fuck was this professor talking about?

The lecturer drones on at the front of the hall, her voice echoing. “For those of you who don't know already, I'm professor Dr. Michaleson and I’ll be your genetics lecturer for the remainder of the year.”

Oh no. Oh fuck no. Oh hell no.

You look around, scanning the wide room to already see people begin to type away at their laptops. No one else in the room seems to be as confused as you are right now and it’s concerning. Reaching into your coat pocket, you open up your maps app checking your location.

Shit.

You’ve found yourself in the general medical sciences block, not arts and humanities. Zooming in further you find that the humanities block is direct from the building that you’re in right now.

If there was a moment for you to have a breakdown, it would be right now. All of your panicking and frantic packing that you had gone through this morning has now gone completely to waste because you’re not even in the right fucking lecture hall.

You turn towards the person on your left but notice that they’re rapidly typing away as the lecturer proceeds to run over the future modules for the course. Not wanting to bother her, you decide to glance towards your right, to the guy who was once mindlessly scrolling on his phone who has now replaced it with his very own laptop but…he’s not typing away yet.

So you take your chances.

“Hey.” you whisper, trying to keep your panic out of your voice. You lean over a little so that he can hear you.

The man frowns a little, looking towards you.

“What?” His tone is soft like yours, quiet so as not to disrupt other people but you can’t help but notice the annoyed intonation in his voice.

“What lecture are we in right now?” you subtly prompt, quickly noticing the crease between the eyebrows of the stranger sitting next to you. His nose curves up in distaste as if you’ve just asked him whether he thinks the earth is round or flat.

“Please, just answer my question.” you plead gently, reading his expression.

You know he probably takes you for an idiot right now but you just need confirmation so that,

One: You hadn’t just misheard and this was definitely a genetics lecture

And two: If it was a genetic lecture this officially gives your body the right to go into full panic mode right now.

The guy lets out a light sigh before answering, “We’re in genetics right now.”

“Fuck!”

A few heads in the row in front of your glance back at the sound and automatically your cheeks burn up out of embarrassment.

“Why are you asking?” the man sitting beside you questions.

You hesitate in giving your answer, embarrassed that you had messed up one of the most basic rules of things not to do at university. Now it’s your turn to let out a beaten down sigh.

“I–”

“You’re in the wrong lecture, aren’t you?” the stranger estimates. Clearly based on your mixed expression of disappointment and panic.

You nod silently, rubbing your hands across your face. Internally, you wished that you could go back in time. Back to before you had entered this stupid lecture room, double checking the location or at least had the chance run out before the lecture had started.

“What are you supposed to be in?”

“English Literature.”

The man sitting beside you stifles a laugh and again, a number of heads back to look at the two of you in frustration. He attempts to cover it up with a cough and you notice the way that his cheeks slowly turn to a dusty shade of pink.

“Por dios, what are you doing here?” he whispers. And again you don’t miss the tone of irritation in his voice.

“I–I think I got lost.” you stammer quietly, looking down at your phone. “I’m supposed to be here.” you point at a spot on your phone as you show him. “But I got it messed up.”

“It’s across from this building?”

You nod begrudgingly, before shutting off your phone and laying your head down on the table in surrender.

You stay down for a minute before perking back up. The lecturer is still droning on about god knows what and the man beside you begins to take notes.

Leaning over, you whisper another question.

“How long is this lecture?”

“Two hours.”

Yep, you were screwed.

And it wasn’t like you could get up and leave. Well, you could, but that would mean drawing all the attention from half of the people in the room, disrupting them and causing your entire row to stand up so that you could leave. You think that you’d rather die than be that person.

The man beside you says nothing more, choosing to ignore you and your situation as he types away along with the rest of the people in the hall.

Looks like you have no choice but to buckle yourself in for this ride.

—

Two hours later, you find yourself on level 12 of the world’s hardest game, still without any new literature knowledge but now have a deep insight into what the genetics modules will look like for the next three years as well as having a deep insightful knowledge about prokaryotic and eukaryotic organisms.

That’ll be some useful trivia some day at least.

You sit back watching everyone else pack away. The man beside you glances towards you briefly, he’s packed away too, now waiting for the people in your row to start filing out.

“Thinking about drastically changing your degree to biological sciences?” he asks, a smirk on his face.

You snort as you pack away your laptop, which surprisingly managed to survive the whole lecture.

“I fucking wish.”

“How about next time you check that you’re actually in the right block before stepping into a lecture hall?”

You barely know this man and yet you can feel his judgment, not just now but throughout the whole lecture you’ve felt his continuous side-eye as you died for the 400th time in your game.

“Will do.” you note, hoping to cut this conversation short. “Looks like I’ve got a literature lecture to catch up on.” you mumble to yourself as you begin to walk away, filing out of your row and heading to the doors.

/

“You what? Ended up at the wrong lecture hall?!”

Burying your head onto your arms, you groan aloud as a non-committal response. Your college roommate and new friend, Lyla, laughs out loud which unfortunately attracts eyes from around the cafe.

You groan, this being the second time that your face has burnt up this morning. “Please don’t make my misery any louder ly’ ”

She wipes at the corner of her eyes, adjusting her glasses. “I'm sorry, m’sorry.” She chokes, spluttering her hot chocolate. “But could you go through exactly what it was that you did again?”

You perk up your head on the table, keeping your eyelids shut. A mumble escapes from your lips.

Lyla cups her ears, teasing you unabashedly. “What was that?”

“Iendedupinageneticslecture.”

“What?”

“I ended up in a genetics lecture!”

And if you thought that her first laugh had been loud enough for the tables near you to hear, her second laugh practically caused the entire cafe to turn their eyes on you.

“This is all your fault by the way.” You pick up your cup of hot coffee and as if your day couldn’t get any worse, you’ve managed to burn your tongue and now you wonder whether there’s any point whatsoever in living on this sadistic earth.

Lyla points at herself, “Me? What did I do?!”

If you–” you lower your voice, cautious of multiple eyes staring at your table. “If you didn’t drag me out last night then maybe I wouldn’t have been so sleep deprived that I could have actually gotten to my proper lecture.”

Lyla snorts, waving her hands around. “Oh, please! Didn’t I get you that number off that guy you liked? Matt, was it?”

“Tom.”

“Right, whatever.” she says, picking up her cup and dipping her tongue into the generous amount of whipped cream and marshmallows that cover her hot chocolate. You stare at your own order in distaste, deeply wishing that you had gotten one too.

/

The next two weeks following your god awful mishap, you were fine.

From now on you and Lyla had a pact.

No more nights out.

Only up until the halloween season.

With your reading classes and her technology lectures, the two of you found each other up to your necks in assignments and essays along with being forced to help out with Lyla’s little coding club maintenance.

Thankfully you’ve managed to maintain some sort of routine, attending most – if not all – of your lectures both on time and double checking that you were in the right ones. You’ve made a few friends here or there at social events and finally found a job as a barista at the same cafe where Lyla gets her favorite hot chocolate from – and you must admit that they are pretty great.

All in all, college is going pretty great.

You think.

It’s going well in terms that you’ve managed to dodge every single phone call from your mom ever since you got here. Weekly, you’ve been coming up with good excuses and you don’t think that she’s caught on. Yet.

It was something that you had expected to happen once you made the decision to move away, I mean it was only fair, her only child leaving the bird’s nest, what else is she supposed to do?

You did feel guilty, of course you did. You hate lying to your mom but having her call every five minutes is not the reputation that you want to set up for yourself.

You’ll call her at the end of the week.

You swear on it.

- ‘Sorry, I’m in the library right now mom, I’ll call you back later okay? Love you <3’

Sent: 5:34pm

Setting your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’, you place it next to your laptop, your playlist resuming through your headphones.

Another thing that you were also proud of yourself, was getting in regular study periods in preparation for midterms. Your old self would have been procrastinating right up until the night before the exam but now? You’ve matured. You’ve changed your ways for the better and by getting in some pre-reading of essays and books, you know that you’ll be thanking your future self in the long run if you keep up this mindset.

And this mindset is a great mindset…as long as you don’t get distracted.

/

You lasted ten minutes.

You had barely gotten through the second page before your attention was taken somewhere else and by somewhere else you mean somebody else. And this particular somebody reminds you of a moment that you are trying so hard to forget. Which is impossible to do when he had just so coincidentally pulled up a chair next to you.

It was him. The guy who you sat next to in the one lecture that we don’t talk about for certain implicit reasons.

On recognising his face, you hope that he doesn’t recognise you. He pulls up a chair beside you, not truly noticing you are until he glances up. You can already sense what he’s about to say. Taking off your headphones you go to speak but he suddenly cuts you off.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t mistake the janitor’s closet for the library then.”

“Oh, you’re funny.” you deadpan.

“I try to be.” he quips, the corners of his lips tilting upright.

Now that your body is not in fight or flight mode, you get a chance to take in this stranger. He’s…attractive. Conventionally. Tall. Awkwardly tall. Looks like one of those gym junkies or you guess that he actually is one based on those muscles on him. And those model cheekbones and naturally tanned skin and bushy eyebrows and soft lips–

“Do I have something on my face or are you just eyeballing me?”

“Neither.” you say, a little too quick for your judgment.

“There’s no shame in admitting the latter.” He prompts, a playful tone in his voice.

“You’re a little bit cocky don’t you think?”

This stranger leans back into his chair a little, raising a brow before dismissing your statement.

“I would disagree.”

“Of course you would, you’re a STEM student.”

The stranger huffs, glancing at you up and down. “At least I’m guaranteed a job as soon as I’m out of here.” He remarks, rummaging through his bag. “Good luck in getting out of your student debt with–” he squints over to one of the closed novels by your side. “Whatever book that you have over there.”

“You mean pride and prejudice?”

He simply shrugs, choosing to ignore you as he pulls out a huge textbook and his laptop.

Your eyes glimpse the front cover, reading ‘Biological Sciences.’ Your face turns to distaste at the thought of having to read that through your own free will.

“Have you read Pride and Prejudice?” you ask, trying to maintain a friendly unbiased tone.

“Never have and never will.”

“You’re missing out.”

“On what?” he scoffs, flicking a page of his massive textbook. It hurts your brain to even think about how much that would even cost. “A bunch of rich upper class Englishmen complain about their problems for a whole 300 pages?”

“Firstly,” you note, slightly offended. “That’s not what happens. Secondly, it’s 400 pages but it’s debatable depending on what version you buy. But when you suddenly get a gun cocked to your head with someone asking you to quote the first line from Pride and Prejudice one day, you’ll be regretting this conversation.”

“I highly doubt that’s even a probable situation.”

“There’s always a few anomalies lying around.” You shrug absentmindedly, flicking through your own novel which you had to complete reading for this week.

“Rarely.”

“But often enough to catch you off-guard.”

This…stranger lets out a sigh heavily through his nose, a sign of which you know means ‘please shut the fuck up.’ He ignores you for the nth time, eyes slightly squinting as he scrolls down, closely reading an article.

That’s it. You’ve lost your concentration. He’s ruined your mood and your mindset.

You begin to pack away, huffing as you place your novel in your bag. You’ll have to get started when you get home it seems.

“Don’t let me spoil your 19th century fun.” he murmurs, scrolling further down on the article.

“I’m going somewhere else, so that I won’t be bothered with your stupid microbiology shit.”

The man huffs, barely acknowledging you as you stand. “Good luck finding another free spot because this place is packed.”

“I’m heading home actually.” you quip, zipping up your bag after placing all your materials.

“Make sure that you don’t accidentally end up in someone else’s dorm–”

“Hilarious.”

You walk away before he can poke another joke at you. Once again, mocking you and you barely know his first name.

You kinda hope you never see him again. Partly because he’s an annoying STEM student but mostly because he reminds you of the excruciating pain that you went through by sitting in a genetics lecture for two hours without a single break.

Key word: kinda.

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[writersdrug]

Mourning Dove

König x Reader

Chapter 2. Dead End

Masterlist

Summary: You managed to escape Drew, and you have a plan. Who knew walking for an entire day could be so boring?

Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, cursing, brief mentions of rape/unwanted sexual intercourse, anxiety, mentions of death

It was surprising how much stamina Drew had after a day of putting up with you – and you’d been intentionally dense that day.

For the last fuck you were letting him give, in the most literal sense, he’d chosen to take his time with it. You had resigned your dignity to the pine needles and humus when he had shoved your face into the ground. It was a much more forgiving position than having to look him in the eyes as he used your cunt – you managed to tune out the unwelcomed intrusion by pretending your body was rooting into the earth with each thrust, until you could become one with the dirt, irrelevant to both Drew and the infected.

One can only dream.

Still, your hard work had paid off: after a full day of nagging him, playing dumb, and letting him plow his frustration into your body, he was wiped. He had collapsed onto you after he’d spent himself inside your walls, panting and groaning like an animal (a wounded one, to any passing wanderer). Then, promptly after that, he banished you to lie underneath the fir tree, at good three yards away from him. He didn’t like being touched after sex, which was a blessing in your situation.

You couldn’t tell what time it was – which was always. But there was no clue to whether you were closer to yesterday’s sunset or tomorrow’s sunrise. You began to create questions in your mind, ones that pressed like nails into your plan, which seemed more paper-thin as the night continued on. What if he woke up before you could leave? What if you don’t get far enough, and he catches up to you? The possibility of your plan failing was more terrifying than if you would end up becoming infected, or snapping your neck falling down the steep mountainside.

Every fiber of your body was telling you to stay still. What if it’s better to stay with him? What if I die in the first thirty minutes on my own? Instinct told you to remain with Drew, to stay with the pack. That quantity was quality in this situation. But you respected yourself too much. You’d spent a whole week promising yourself that this would be it – there were too many encounters of blood and bruises by Drew’s hand to convince you to stay rooted to him.

If you didn’t go tonight, you might never take the risk again.

Drew hadn’t stirred for the last fifteen minutes – or what felt like it. Your eyes were locked on him out of fear and anticipation. He could wake up soon, or he might not. The unknown was what terrified you. But you knew he was exhausted. You had made sure to tire him out throughout the day, mentally and physically. You’d planned this. It would work. You just had to get moving.

Thankfully, the only foliage beneath you consisted of the pine needles from the fir, and they hardly made any noise. You rose as slowly as you could, your eyes fixed on Drew’s unconscious silhouette across the small clearing. One knee carefully pressed underneath you, then the other, laying your hand against the tree trunk. Pushing your palm against the rough, prickly bark for stability, you leaned your weight into it and rose until you were standing.

You paused there for a moment, your pulse thrumming in your ears. Your breath ran shallow and quiet as you were frozen, eyes locked on his form, your mind already brimming with fear. It felt wrong to be on your feet when Drew wasn’t. Part of you expected him to wake up in an instant, imagining the angry words and beating that would follow soon after. Your skin was too familiar with the feeling of his hand, either open or closed, laying bruises somewhere along your body. Without the possibility of someone seeing the marks, Drew hadn’t been worried about leaving them where they weren’t hidden by your clothing, meaning most of them were visible along your face, arms, and legs. You looked more like the infected than a human, you thought.

Focus.

You managed to peel your gaze away from him, taking a quiet step towards the bags. The night was unsettlingly quiet as you knelt in front of them; you carefully grabbed the handle of his pack, wincing at the sound of the canvas brushing against your skin. The more dire the situation, the louder the nose, it seemed. The zipper was equally and unfortunately as audible as you tugged it open. It was meticulously organized, a pocket for every item within. You tried your best to sift quietly through the items, only taking what you needed, or what you saw Drew using on a daily basis. One of the Lifestraws (he said something about them lasting for ages, so you didn’t take both), two MRE’s, his flint and steel striker, and a small medkit (military grade, he had boasted). You had your own backpack of things that Drew had given to you – it wasn’t designed for you specifically, it was just an extra Armageddon rucksack that had been lying in the back of his car, and you were the extra pack-mule to carry it. A clean change of men’s clothing, the majority of the remaining protein bars, another multitool, extra batteries and some maps. It wasn’t filled to the brim, but you wanted to travel light.

You left the bag unzipped and laid it back down. Of course, he would know that you had fled once he woke up in the morning. You could only hope that it would buy you a few more seconds of time once he would grab his backpack in a hurry, only to find you had stolen from him, too. On the chance that he did wake up within the hour, any extra moment of time could be the difference between life and your corpse lying in the river.

Quietly stuffing the supplies into your backpack, you glanced back at Drew. He was in the same position as when you first got up; facing the decline of the forest, sleeping bag tucked tightly around him. You really must have wiped him out, considering he hadn’t changed positions since his eyes had closed. That same sense of uncertainty clawed its way back up your throat as you watched the rise and fall of his diaphragm: this is a bad idea. If you go through with this, and he finds you, you’re dead. He’ll murder you. You’re being selfish. He’s helping you, and here you are, stealing his shit and running away. If he doesn’t find you and kill you first, the infected will. Or you’ll die of your own stupidity. Just because you wanted to prove a point.

Like water from a tap, you let the thoughts flow from your brain and out of your mind. It was normal, natural to have so much anxiety. But you let it pass.

It was time. You had everything – ironically, only what was necessary – and the cover of night. It felt impossible to turn back now; cowardice would be a worse sentence than death, and your pride was, somehow, still blooming brightly in this dark age. A tendril of stubbornness poked above the surface of your doubt as you glared down at Drew. You leaned down, letting a fat glob of spit land quietly on the ground next to his back.

Good riddance.

The forest was unbearably quiet as you shouldered your backpack, polyester sliding noisily against your cardigan. The click of your flashlight made you cringe, the sound bouncing off the surrounding firs, shooting back into your skull like lances. After a moment of recovery, you cast the light ahead of you and started-

“Mmh… what y’ doin’?”

Fear took hold of your throat like a vice, strangling the breath that was leaving your lungs. Your limbs turned to stone, one foot out in front of you, frozen mid-step. Daring to turn your head, you saw him reach a tensile arm out and above his side, thick fingers flexing towards the sky. He pulled his hand back down and behind him, groaning quietly as he stretched his shoulder muscles.

Fuck fuck fuck-

“Bathroom.” You replied, the rest of your body as still as a statue. Air hadn’t made its way back into your lungs since you first heard him speak, and each second felt like a lifetime.

His arm lowered back down, retreating into the sleeping bag. He didn’t answer you, his silence stretching across the clearing and drowning out the sound of your own heartbeat. Your pulse thrummed in your chest, flowing down your arms and into your fingertips where the flashlight shook in your trembling hands. You waited… waited… but nothing. The rhythmic, deep breaths from before resumed their pace, and you finally exhaled a quiet breath between your lips.

That was your cue to leave. You weren’t going to test your luck any more than you had spent.

With quiet breaths and leftover adrenaline coursing through your veins, you left the clearing, the cliff, and the fir that was your shelter. The cold air reached deep into your lungs, bringing in determination and resolve, exhaling uncertainty into the night. You reassured yourself: you were prepared, you had a plan, and Drew was none the wiser, nor was he awake to find you. You had a head start. You were proud of yourself. Breaking the cycle wasn’t easy, especially when sticking in groups was preferred in such a situation. But, you did it. Even if you ended up succumbing to cruel weather, starvation, or whatever elements decided you didn’t deserve to live, it would be a better fate than sticking around with a monster of its own kind.

Fortunately, you were able to cover decent ground while it was still dark. The sun had only just begun to rise when you had estimated four miles between you and Drew. The woods were a bit daunting when the early morning fog was thick, and the haze surrounding you was a deep azure, providing barely any light. Your flashlight didn’t do much to help you see; it bounced off the mist around you, enveloping you in a blinding wall of white. You’d headed west until you were ablet to make out the rough terrain beneath you, and then decided to retire the flashlight. You only had so many batteries, after all – the entirety of Drew’s stash.

Make it back to the car. That was the plan. You weren’t sure if it would even start after all this time, but Drew had revealed over boiled water and lukewarm MRE’s that there was an extra battery stashed in the trunk. If it came with instructions – bingo. You’d be back on the main road before too long.

You had your deductions: any towns might still have usable supplies and canned goods – at the rate the infection was spreading, there wasn’t enough time for the stores and pharmacies to be drained of everything. You needed the car to get to the closest city, and based on the map you’d been studying over the past few weeks, it would only be an hour’s drive. There should be enough gas left in the tank to get you there, if not a short walk from it. If you took the autobahn, you had a chance of avoiding the infected, since there weren’t many “resources” for them there. If you did have to walk the last portion of the trip, you might be lucky enough to miss them completely.

Finding the car was the most difficult part; reading a map was surprisingly not easy, and the only reason you hadn’t lost yourself in the penciled-in mountains and trees is because you had followed the river. Each bend that you shadowed was an echo on the map’s interpretation, and if you followed it for another mile or so, it would be a straight line south to the area where Drew had abandoned the car. Locating the car would prove to be a challenge, since you would have to break away from the river to find it. But you trusted yourself to recognize the area once you (hopefully) stumbled upon it. You may not have run into an end-of-the-world situation before, but you weren’t helpless.

The early-afternoon glow that cocooned the forest was helpful in calming your nerves. The world seemed pre-apocalyptic here; you stopped for a brief moment to appreciate the birdsong calling through the trees, and the gentle wind blanketing over your anxiety like a balm to your soul. If you forced yourself to pretend, the pine trees and the mist could appear almost aesthetic. Like this was just a hike in the woods. Maybe you were on a journey to self-discovery, choosing to meander through nature just to break from “the real world.” The fantasy was short-lived, however, when the rustling of the contents of your backpack roused you from your maladaptive daydreaming.

Every now and then, the snap of a branch or the shuffle of leaves would have you breaking your neck to check your surroundings. It was unlikely that an infected could have climbed up the mountain this far, let alone quietly enough that you had missed it. But, the world had already proven to be rather unpredictable; you couldn’t afford to take things for what they were. What if they’ve learned to hunt?! What if they eventually make their way up the mountain when they run out of fresh meat? Anxiety had rooted itself into your scattered mind, tearing holes into it like the ground did to your shoes.

What if there was nothing left in the town besides dead, hungry corpses? What if the car doesn’t start? What if you never find the car? What if you’re lost?

You shook your head clear of the mess of questions. Thinking like that would only send you into a spiral of despair, and you didn’t have the energy to waste on supporting whatever secure mentality remained. One foot in front of the other – that’s what you had to force into your mind, squeezing your eyes shut hard enough that purples and yellows kaleidoscoped behind your lids. Deep breath in, and out. You were lucky enough to have made it this far without being caught by Drew.

Drew. The thought of him alone made uncertainty resurface, and you opened your eyes with a dissatisfied sigh. He couldn’t be close… right? He didn’t seem like someone who would bide his time once he had discovered you, frolicking in the forest with his protein bars and his gear. Based on the lack of his shouting, and the absence of someone rushing up the hill to tackle you, it seemed he hadn’t discovered your trail yet. Maybe he hadn’t even realized that you were missing. Considering the energy he had put into fucking you the night before, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was still asleep at this hour.

Whatever hour it was, anyways…

You huffed, kicking a small stone further down your path. A glance at the map confirmed that you were still in the right area, and that you’d be following the river for a while. Progress had seemed so easily obtainable at the beginning of the journey, but now, dare you say it, you were bored. It seemed selfish to experience such a feeling, when you were lucky enough to have been one of the ones to survive the infection. Based on the map, you had walked nearly twelve miles – have you ever walked that much in a week, let alone one day? You deserved the right to be bored.

Hours passed agonizingly slowly, and the golden halo of light gradually turned into a warm orange, then waned off altogether. The haze of mist around you became colorless and thick, seeping into the cracks of your mind and stirring up the fear you had been stomaching all day. You knew it made no difference to the infected – they’d hunt you by the light of the sun or the moon, there was no preference. But it made you wonder… were they the worst things out there? Could there be other abominations lurking in the woods, waiting for you to take one wrong step?

Stop it, you scolded yourself. Another sigh fell from your lips. Get it together. You’re fine. You were never afraid of the dark, but that fear was slowly seeping into your bones with each passing day of this damn virus. They didn’t sleep. They didn’t have to. You did.

Enough was enough, you decided, as a deep blue began to settle between the trees. You didn’t have much longer before it became too dark, and you wouldn’t be able to see. The chill around you only seemed to drop further – shit, should I have been setting up camp by now? You didn’t even think about that. The intention of finding the car had sucked every other rational thought from your mind; you didn’t expect that task to take more than a day.

Good thing I took the flint and steel, you thought. Gathering bits and bobs for the fire was easy; decent chunks of wood and broken branches lay scattered about the forest floor, and you scooped up as much as you could into your arms. You found a boulder not too far ahead of you, not nearly as big as the one from the night before, but it would provide enough shelter to push your back against. The sky was nearly midnight-blue now as you dropped your bag by the rock (boulder seemed too generous of a term, now that you were looking at the thing up close).

With some leaves and twigs, cold fingers, and a great deal of patience, you managed to bring a small flame to life with the flint and steel. You cupped your hands around it and blew, begging whatever cruel being had started this whole mess to let it catch into a bright fire. Each log you carefully placed over the blaze slowly took, and you soon had a warm campfire.

You didn’t care if this wasn’t smart, or if you were making yourself a target for the infected. Exhaustion and the dropping temperature were the only two things on your mind now; Drew was an afterthought, now that you’d had the chance to calm down and take a rest. Considering you were a “dumb bitch” in his eyes, as he’d so politely put it, you trusted that he had assumed you would head south in search of the nearby city. It was safe to believe that you had fooled him, and you were making do just fine on your own.

The ground was cold and wet as you curled up onto it, pushing your back against the rock. You attempted to pretend this was all one, big, dumb camping trip, but that failed when you remembered the lack of a sleeping bag or any sort of cover. You felt just as bored as before, plagued with both prostration and restlessness, and a wandering mind. You were still alone, which was both a relief and a fright. At least with Drew, you had strength in numbers…

You made the right choice to leave. Despite having to remind yourself of this every hour, and despite the gnawing feeling in the back of your mind that maybe this was a mistake, you know it was the right thing to do. Drew may have ended up killing you eventually, if you had given it another weak. He’d only let you use so many of his resources before he would decide that your sex wasn’t worth lugging you around for. Not only that, but you had to prove to yourself that you weren’t utterly helpless. You moved all the way out here on your own, didn’t you? It wasn’t luck that you got stuck in the apocalypse with the worst man in the country – it was unfortunate. You weren’t lucky to have Drew. Maybe his car, his extra backpack, and the map he’d forced you to study for the past several weeks, but Drew wasn’t your savior.

You were your own savior.

You rolled away from the fire with a groan. The flames warmed the skin on your back, spreading across it like a blazing liquid, but it felt good. You leaned into that, focusing on the heat and the crackling of the fire. The burning pine was acrid, but comforting. You had always dreamed of taking a vacation in the heart of Olympic National Park, didn’t you? This wasn’t much different. Ignoring the circumstances, the only real difference was that you were somewhere in Europe, not the states. But with the way things had been carrying on recently, you doubted that borders between countries really mattered anymore.

With your eyes fluttering shut, you imagined that there was a warm cabin behind you; that you could go inside if you really wanted, that you were choosing to spend the night in your front yard. If the night grew too cold, or if the ground was too stiff, you’d just head back to your cozy room and queen bed. There’d be pancakes waiting for you in the morning, and you’d be happy, and warm, and safe.

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Taglist: @nic-stars @teenagellamaangel @zhuyingsworld @crypticme @konigswifeyforlifey @zlunia @gremlinmodetweeker

[moonlightndaydreams]

Room 143 | idol!han x fem!reader \ part 2

1k followers celebration story

If someone had told you that you would have one night with Han Jisung, you would have laughed in their face.

Read Part 1 here | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Delulu! Absolute delulu! Last year I wrote a little fic about y/n going to the concert and by chance having a night of passion with the yummy Han Jisung. I thought it might be nice to revisit it with a rework (the original had an original female character but I’m changing it to y/n).

Chapter wc 4.7k

CW: vaginal fingering.

The three men moved so confidently around the gym whilst you tried to mind your own business and not look at them. Every now and then you'd steal a glance, and each time you did you felt your heartbeat kick up a gear.

They looked like gods as they helped each other with weights, admiring each other’s physique as their muscles became pumped up. Changbin said something to Han and Chan burst out laughing uncontrollably. Han then pouted and complained. Was Changbin teasing him? You smiled to yourself as you watched their interactions. If it wasn’t for the nerves and anxiety swirling around your body telling you that this was actually fucking real, you would have pinched yourself to see if you were dreaming.

YouI felt like an outsider who had no idea what you were doing. You couldn’t stay any longer. But you also couldn’t leave. You'd be an idiot to walk away from this scenario. But you couldn’t keep sitting there with your 4kg dumbell. You needed to move onto some other exercise.

You scanned the room, seeking out a piece of equipment to use. Something you've used before. The pull down bar. Yes, you have used one of those before.

So over to the pull down bar you went. It was set to some outrageously heavy weight that only Chan and and Changbin would be able to manage, which meant that you'd have to change the weight setting. You looked for the pin that readjusts the weight. 

“Here let me help.” Oh my fucking god. Chan. Your heart stopped and you couldn't find any words. Be polite. Be polite. Somehow you managed to pull a smile and actually speak.

“Um… yeah I… I’m just trying to adjust the weight.” Okay, so you managed to speak, but it didn’t come out well. Your voice was squeaky.

Chan came in closer so he could adjust the machine. He was standing so close to you that you could feel a warmth radiating off of him, and the smell of his skin which was of a fresh deodorant and sweat mingled together. His bare arms so close that if you reached out you would touch them.

“What setting would you like?” he looked at you and smiled that gorgeous smile everyone knew and loved.

“Um… maybe the third lightest.” You said shyly.

If Chan had any judgment about the level of weight you chose, he didn’t show it. He just simply slot the pin in, and then held the handle bar steady as you sat down on the seat. He was about to pull it down for you when you felt someone come up behind you. It was Changbin. He took hold of the bar, ushering Chan to let go of it, and pulled it down so you could hold onto it. Chan let him, taking step back, but stayed lingering by your side.

Changbin’s thick arms were on either side of yours as he held the bar steady for you to take hold of, his hands merely inches away from yours. You couldn’t breathe.

“Thank you.” You managed as Changbin let go and stepped back. By now Han was hovering around as well and you felt like you could die of embarrassment on the spot. How were you supposed to do this with them all watching you?

You took a deep breath and pulled the bar down to your chest, and then released it back up. Satisfied that you were doing it correctly, Chan and Han went back to what they were doing at the bench press, but Changbin took this as an opportunity to be ‘personal trainer’ and stood close by watching, nodding. Approving.

“I think you can do heavier.” He stated, more to himself than to you. He took hold of the handle again, this time his fingers brushed yours, sending a shiver through your body, and eased the bar back up to it’s starting position. Then he considered what weight to set the machine. You watched him with one of his arms crossed across his chest, across his skin tight black t shirt, his other hand at his mouth in thought. Han was back now standing at Changbin’s side.

“What do you think? This one?” he asked Han.

You looked from Changbin to Han. Han looked at you. Your skin reddened. He raised his eyebrows up and down at you as if to say “look at Changbin… He can’t help himself can he?” making you chuckle, and Han laughed too.

“Okay try this one.” Changbin had reset the weight and helped you get back into position.

It was far heavier than you expected, but manageable.

“Changbin! A hand.” Chan called out over at the bench press. Satisfied he’d selected the correct weight for you, Changbin went back over to his leader, leaving Han to supervise you.

You felt like you were going to die. Han fucking Jisung. In the flesh. His slim body was covered with a white muscle tee, showing off his toned arms and he had slim black sweatpants on. You were in the middle of a heatwave and he had sweatpants on!

You had experienced performance anxiety in the past but having Han Jisung watching you like this would have to be the worst. You attempted to keep your breath steady and your mind focused on the exercise. You tried to block out this stunning young man’s energy. This stunning young man who was… gazing?…at you.

After you completed ten pull downs, Han took the bar from you and let it slide back up. His chest grazing your back as he did so. Your breath hitched. Was that on purpose? Then he came around and crouched down next to you, and from seemingly nowhere, he pulled out a bottled water and offered it to you.

“My names Han.” He said “and over there, that’s Chan and Changbin.” He pointed to his band members then turned his attention back to you, waiting for you to introduce yourself.

You smirked. You weren't sure what to say. “I know.” You whispered quietly.

Han raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth in surprise.

“You know who we are?” he leaned forward “are you a Stay?” added excitedly.

You nodded. “Umm.. Yes.. But only a new one. I am not sure I know enough to even call myself a Stay. I am going to the concert tonight though.”

“You’re a Stay. Trust me.” He grinned.

A dreaded thought hit you. What if they think you stalked them here!?

“I wouldn’t have imagined JYP would have put you guys up at this hotel, though.” You hoped that didn’t sound extra stalker-like.

“Actually we weren’t meant to originally. It’s all been changed up last minute. But it’s not too bad. I got to meet a Stay and that is always a bonus.” He playfully punched you in the arm.

“My name’s Y/n.” You offered.

“Nice to meet you, Y/n.” Han grinned. His smile was infectious, and you found yourself grinning like an idiot at him.

The next little while was spent with mostly you talking about where you live, what you do and how you came there alone and that you're going to their concert, also alone.

“So how are you getting to the venue?” Chan piped up. By then all three members were sitting around chatting to you, and you felt more comfortable and at ease.

“I don’t know. I guess an Uber?” You replied.

“Don’t be silly. You can come with us.” Han said and turned to Chan. “Can’t she Hyung?” He pouted looking hopeful.

“It’s okay. I am a grown woman.” You didn’t want to cause any problems or tension between the members or staff.

Chan held up his hand. “Of course she can come with us, but you’ll have to get her a pass and she’ll have to be there for soundcheck, and we won’t get back here until quite late.”

This was too much. You didn’t need any special treatment.

“Look. I’m really grateful you want to look after me, or be kind or… whatever… but it’s really okay.” you insisted.

“What’s your room number? I will collect you myself.” Han said sounding chivalrous. It was rather endearing to see him eager to take care of you.

Maybe you should run with this and see where it goes?

You swallowed hard. “Okay,” you said. “Room 143.”

-----

Back in your room you flopped down onto the bed. What the hell just happened? You kicked your legs in flurry, and brought your hands up over your face to muffle a squeal. After you let reality sink in, you sat straight up. You needed to get ready! Han had said they had to leave by 2pm and that left… you looked down at your phone… two hours.

You jumped in the shower, but your mind was still in the gym with Han, Chan and Changbin. How does something this exciting happen to you? The question kept repeating itself over and over in your mind like one of those TikTok looped edits.

You don’t know how you managed it, but before you knew it you had blow dried your hair, applied your makeup, and was slipping on your frayed denim skirt, and a pink and white tee covered in little love hearts. The theme you were trying for was “Maxident”.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard the knock on your hotel door.

Was it already time?

You hurried to the door, almost tripping over your own feet. “Coming. Just a sec.” You called out. You took a deep, steadying breath, and opened the door.

There he stood… Han. Fucking. Jisung. Standing at your hotel room door. He was now donning baggy cargo pants and a grey, oversized hoodie, which he had pulled up over his bucket cap. He was gorgeous, and you felt your cheeks blush.

“Hi there.” You smiled and welcomed him into the room.

“Room 143?” he replied pointing at your room number “143 I love you!” he sang and finger hearted you, making you laugh. “I’ve got you something.” He gestured to the black cross-body bag he was wearing.

The hotel room was pretty standard of hotel rooms. An ensuite bathroom off to the right when you entered the room, a double bed in the middle, and a two seater couch and coffee table on the other side of the bed. A large window looked out onto a mediocre view.

“So…this is my humble abode for the next day or two.” You said gesturing around the room as though you were giving him a tour. He scanned the room like it was somehow unique, until you saw his gaze land on an item of clothing laying on the floor… a black lace garment. Fuck, your bra!

In the most ungraceful way, you kicked the bra away and under the bed. “Sorry about that.” You stuttered. How fucking embarrassing. Han simply grinned at you as though he wanted to tease you, but he didn’t say a word.

“So… I brought you a present.” He said as he pulled off his cross-body bag. Your eyes widened as he unzipped it and he pulled out a band tshirt. “I thought seeing as though you are part of the team tonight, you would like to wear this?” he handed you the shirt.

“Oh… thanks…Han...” You unfolded the black shirt and held it up against your body. The little green Maniac logo on one breast, and green print on the back.

You looked up from the shirt and met his eyes to find him looking at you expectantly. “Go try it on.” He encouraged. “I mean I love what you’re wearing right now, so you don’t have to change if you don’t want to,” He scratched his head nervously, “but I’d love to see you in it.” He added coyly, lowering his eyes to the floor. A rush of heat rose through your body.

“Of course. Yes…Just give me a minute.” You choked. “Um, I’ll be right back. Grab a drink if you’d like.” You waved towards the mini bar and kettle.

You stood at the bathroom sink in your new band t-shirt, trying to decide whether to tuck it into your skirt or not. What would Han prefer? Stop it. He’s just being kind. It’s not like he’s attracted to you. You turned from side to side to get an idea of how you looked, and settled on tucking it in to highlight your hourglass figure. Then you touched up your make up. Han Jisung is in your room! You slapped your cheek to bring yourself back to your senses, your stinging skin telling you this was very real. Okay, breathe. You can do this.

You stepped back into the room to find Han making two cups of tea. It was an interesting sight. Him looking all street-wise whilst brewing a comforting warm tea. Just like he can deliver hard hitting rap lines and then turn around act like a Baby-girl.

“Tada!” You exclaimed and he turned around, looked you up and down, and nodded in approval. “Looks good, baby!” He grinned nervously, fidgeting with the cords of his hoodie.

“Aren’t you hot in that?” You asked pointing to his hoodie? “It’s so hot today!”

“It is hot today.” He whispered and bit his lip, like he wasn’t talking about just the weather.

You ignored the sudden tension that had filled the room. It was suddenly suffocating, and you started twirling your hair around your finger to try to look busy.

“Well… feel free to take it off if you’re too hot, ok.” What the fuck are you saying? But Han was already removing the hoodie and his bucket cap anyway, and draped them on your bed before returning his attention to the tea. His long, slender neck, now on full display, had a thin sheen of perspiration. It set off something inside of you. You're not generally a fan of sweat, but seeing Han with just a light amount of perspiration, well, it was doing something to you. You wanted to…taste it.

“Tea’s ready!” he announced, turning around with a hot teacup in each hand. “Should we sit on the couch…?” he nodded towards the two seater couch at the other side of the room.

“Huh? Mmm.. Yes… sure…” You were brought back to reality, and it seemed you were finding it difficult to find your words, so you just awkwardly led the way and sat down.

Han placed the tea on the timber coffee table and settled into the couch and grinned at you. Your eyes darted around the room nervously. What was one supposed to say to a Kpop idol who was sitting in your hotel room and just made you a fucking cup of tea?

“So…” You sucked in your breath and picked at the the hem of your skirt with your fingers.

“This is awkward for you isn’t it?” he concluded, tilting his head to the side as he watched your nervous hands busy with the frayed hem. He glanced up capturing your gaze and you nodded, sucking in your lip.

“Yeah… Sorry?” You offered.

“You don’t need to be nervous around me, baby.” He chimed endearingly. It was supposed to make you feel at ease, but all it did was make you nearly choke on air.

“If it helps, I’m nervous too.” He continued, leaning in closer like it was a secret. He looked so perfect. Big eager eyes, and an expression of wonderment, like he thought he was the lucky one in this situation.

“Really?” You whispered. “You’re nervous too?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He seemed so confident and outgoing, although you had only ever seen him perform. You didn’t know the real man sitting next to you.

He nodded. “I am the most nervous person I know!”

You laughed softly and he looked at you suspiciously. “What is it? Why are you laughing?” he pouted.

“Han,” your laugh becoming louder. “I’m the most nervous person I know!”

The rapper looked at you in disbelief, mouth hung open.

“Mm mm,” You nodded. “You don’t want to know how nervous I was in the gym this morning.” You confessed, smacking him lightly on the arm.

“You looked pretty cool and calm to me.” He argued cheekily.

“Well you don’t look nervous right now!” You taunted.

He grabbed your hand from the hem of your skirt and held it against his chest. “Feel how fast my heart is.” He whispered seriously. You could feel his hard pecs under his shirt and the pulsing of his heart against your hand, as he stared into your fucking soul. Your eyes were locked on his. You couldn’t escape his gaze. Han may have thought his heart was beating fast, but it was nothing like the racing of your heart. The pounding sounding like a fucking drum line was standing in the room.

“Can you feel it?” he asked hopefully. Oh god what was happening?

Your mouth was dry. You needed a drink. You pulled your hand back quickly, and without thinking, you picked up your teacup and took a big sip in a bid to busy yourself.

Big mistake.

“Fuck!” You pulled your mouth away and almost spilled the tea down your new shirt. “I burnt my tongue!” You couldn’t believe how stupid you must’ve looked.

Han chuckled “Well it is fresh, baby.” He teased and he took the cup off you, returning it to the table. Baby?

You hung your head. Why oh why did you do that? You squeezed your eyes closed and shook your head, hoping to shake out the embarrassment.

“Oh my god,” Han’s teasing turned serious as he saw your reaction, springing from his seat to dart to the mini bar to grab a bottle of water. “Here,” he offered you the water. “Drink this, it will help.”

You took a big gulp of water, hoping that it will dissipate your embarrassment as well as the burning on your tongue.

“Hey!” Han edged closer to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” You could feel his eyes on you even though your gaze was firmly fixed to the floor.

You shook my head. “I’m just so clumsy.” You whispered and looked up shyly to meet his gaze. His eyes were kind and warm, and he was smirking a little.

“Baby,” Baby? Really, does he have to keep saying that? You knew he said it to everyone, but it didn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat. “You are talking to the clumsiest Idol known to man!” he sat up proudly. “You want someone to forget lyrics? You’re looking at him. You want someone who falls on his butt? Me!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words. He was far from clumsy, but his attempt to be relatable and make you feel better, well, it was kind of working.

“You good? You promise?” he asked again, double checking, rubbing your shoulder. You nodded your reassurances along with a smile.

“Good.” He whispered, nodding satisfied that you were okay. Your eyes drifted to where his hand was still lingering on your shoulder, although now he’d stopped rubbing it. He followed your gaze to where his hand was rested, and for a moment it felt like time stood still. Your heart stopped, your lungs weren’t working, and butterflies were starting to swirl around in your stomach. You could’ve sworn you saw longing in his eyes, and his breath catch in his throat. He abruptly came to his senses, quickly retracting his hand and nervously pushing his hair back.

“So,” he picked up his tea and blew on it before carefully taking a sip. “I take it you don’t live super close if you’re staying in a hotel?” he asked. “Wow! That is hot!” he gasped, referring to the tea, and quickly placed it back on the table.

“I guess not, I live about three hours from here. I could’ve driven home after the concert, but you know what?” You looked at Han, “I wanted to just have a bit of a break. You know, from the real world. Just a couple of days.”

He nodded approvingly. “I’d love to have a few days just for myself.” He gazed softly across the the room as though he was imagining what it’d be like to have time off to do whatever the hell he wanted.

“I take it you don’t get a lot of free time?” You asked curiously.

He shook his head. “Nah," he paused momentarily and smiled. “but it’s all good. I certainly don’t have anything to complain about, that’s for sure.” It was as though he was trying to convince himself, more than you.

His demeanor seemed so bubbly and energetic, but as you talked there on the couch you could feel there was a lot more going on for him. It felt like underneath that happy, dorky young man there was something else, like something was missing. Was it a sense of emptiness, perhaps? Sadness? Loneliness? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but what you were quickly noticing was that Han, although he wanted to come across as carefree and fun, deep down he yearned for something. Whether that was more of something, less of something, or something different to what he currently had, you didn’t know.

“Are you okay, Han?” You asked seemingly breaking his thoughts.

The young man paused, considering your question. “Really. I don’t have anything to complain about.” He repeated, but his words sounded empty. “But lately I’ve been lonely. I mean, I have the guys, the staff,” he sighed. “But… I don’t know. I’m tired and I suppose, maybe, I need some newness in my life.” He nodded to himself thinking through what he had just said out loud. It seemed like he was processing his thoughts and speaking them out loud for the first time. “I feel like I need some respite. From everything.” He half smiled.

A pang of empathy rushed over you and without thinking, you reached for his hand that was resting on his thigh and squeezed it tightly. For a long moment, he studied your hand covering his, and sucked in his lip. Then he looked up locking eyes with you questioningly.

You thought there was no longer any oxygen left in the room. You didn’t even know if you'd even taken a breath for the past three minutes, and it seemed Han wasn’t breathing either. You were both frozen still. The only sign that you weren’t actually frozen in time was his expression as he searched your face, like he was silently asking you a million questions and trying to find the answers in your eyes.

“The tea is probably good to drink now.” He said, swallowing, not breaking eye contact.

“Yeah… the tea.” You acknowledged, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away either.

Han cupped your face with his other hand, causing you to finally remember how to exhale. With slightly parted lips and eyes that conveyed a glimmer of want, he glanced down at your mouth and subconsciously licked his lips. His eyes flickered back up to yours for a brief moment before returning them to your mouth as he slowly closed the space between your faces.

He was merely inches away and you could feel his hot breath close to your skin. You wanted nothing more than to feel his breath directly against your mouth. You wanted his breath in your mouth. You wanted to taste him, and have his wet tongue slip inside you. You wanted his teeth to hungrily bite into your lip and then softly kiss away the pain.

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed.

You bit your lip and nodded.

His lips had barely even touched yours, but you could already feel the electricity shoot through your veins, making your entire body tingle. The butterflies in your stomach started to go berserk, and you truly thought they’d make you float away if it weren’t for Han’s hand on your cheek holding you in place.

He pulled away momentarily searching your eyes for permission to continue. You let go of his hand and slipped it around the back of his neck, his skin hot and sweaty underneath your fingers. You would need to hold on for dear life if he was going to keep kissing you.

Your lips connected again, starting off slowly and carefully as though one of you would break if either of you moved too suddenly. His lips were soft and he tasted like mint. Did he brush his teeth before coming here? His hand slid from your cheek to your waist and in response you melted in closer to his body. He took this opportunity to deepen the kiss, parting your mouth slightly so he could sneak his tongue inside to find yours. He moaned and peeled away again.

“Is this okay?” he panted, checking in with you.

“Yes, don’t stop” You begged, wrapping both your arms around the back of his neck and finding his mouth again with a sense urgency. Your heart kicked up a notch when you felt his hand land firmly on your thigh, your skin burned from the touch. You dove your tongue into his mouth and his fingers squeezed the flesh of your leg as he let out a low groan.

Your body was rapidly responding to the man that was kissing you. You were only kissing, and you'd only just met him, but you core ached for more, your panties close to soaking. Han’s hand wasn’t far away from where you were craving to be touched. All he’d have to do was slide it up the inside of your leg and he’d be there.

You gripped his upper arm, pulling him closer, encouraging him to keep going, inviting him to explore your body. His hand moved to the inside of your thigh, sending shivers up your leg all the way to where you wanted him most. He was setting you on fire and you whimpered with need.

Han heard your frustrated, pathetic cry. “Tell me what you need me to do.” He whispered huskily between kisses.

“Touch me, Han.” You breathed, and you reached down to touch his hand on your thigh. “Please.” Your voice was barely audible.

He let out a shaky breath and looked down to where your hands were resting together on your thigh. You slid your hand back up his arm to grip his bicep, and he slowly inched his fingers up the inside of your leg, his hungry eyes following his hand as it disappeared under your skirt.

“Han!” You gasped when his fingers reached your panties.

Han smirked as he pressed his finger against you. “Is this what you wanted?” His eyes were hooded and hazy with desire. You whimpered and nodded, parting your legs a little to give him more access. He ran his finger along your underwear, grazing over your clit. “You’re soaking!” he sounded surprised. His fingers moved more hurriedly, finding the edge of your panties and pulling them to the side. “Kiss me.” He commanded and you smashed your mouth back onto his. He slid a finger through your wetness, rubbing it over your bare clit.

“Fuck!” You panted. Then he sunk two fingers deep inside of you. Your eyes rolled back from the relief of finally being filled, making you throw your head back in pleasure. His hot, wet mouth moved to your neck, sucking and nibbling your skin as he started to move his fingers in and out of your cunt.

“You’re so wet, baby.” He cooed. “You really needed this, huh?”

“Mhh-hhm” was all you could manage. You had lost access to your vocabulary. All you could do was lose yourself to Han fucking Jisung and how incredible he felt.

“Y/n?” he kissed up the side of your neck and brought his mouth to your ear. “There’s something I want to try, if you’ll let me.”

“Yes, anything.” You choked. You didn’t care what he planned to do, you just wanted more of him.

He removed his fingers from you and brought his glistening digits up to his mouth and sucked your wetness off them. “You taste so good. I want to taste more of you.” He leaned his forehead on yours.

“Will you let me?”

> taglist open

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @xxkissesforchanniexx @starr-lvst @queen-in-the-shadows @bethanysnow @newhope8 @chuuchuu1224 @vanillacupcakefrosting @3rachasdomesticbanana @fun-fanfics @palindrome969 @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @yaorzu-blog @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @everythingboutkpop @jiminssluttyminx @lunearta

[appleblueberry-pie]

https://www.tumblr.com/appleblueberry-pie/744637913769345024/yandere-housewife-satoru-x-reader

You really ate with this once 🫡

I can’t help but thinking about some deviously delicious angst though… like reader leaving him. Anyway-

Romance yandere fic gone wrong and now it's angst cuz the love of his life left him and now its a dark yandere fic?????? You guys always know how to keep me going.

SOULMAAAATES!

Will you notice the salt in the pie he made? It's not much, just the tears of his anxiety and fear kind of making itself known when he was putting the crust strips on to seal the filling in. He doesn't think you will. Especially since you kind of stopped caring about the meals he's been making you for this past week or so. He lets out a shaky sigh as he examines the near-perfect pie he just took out of the oven. Dreading the moment of giving you the plate, he cuts you a big piece. Maybe you'll appreciate it more if there's more of it for you to eat?

He stares down at his work as he brings it over to you at the dining table. When he looks up, you have that same look on your face that you've been making all week. Boredom and impatience. He meets your eyes, setting the plate down and then sitting next to you to see your reaction. "Here you go. I haven't tweaked the recipe or anything, if you were wondering." He mutters the last few words and watches you chew a big bite. You roll your eyes and continue eating it as if you feel like you're obligated to finish. Satoru felt dread pool in his stomach. Why were you acting this way towards him?? Did he do something?

You haven't said a single word to him all day. You haven't checked up on him, you've been ignoring his calls and have been coming home late. You seemed to come home smelling like an entire other person. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to think or to believe anything that could lead to why you were behaving this way towards him. Despite him clawing his chest every night at needing to at least feel you once, he thinks things are actually perfectly fine the way they are. No need to dig deep or to follow you to and from work to see if you're sneaking around behind his back or anything.

But somehow, he found himself in a concealed black outfit watching you from outside of the cafe that he sat at from a distance as you gave all of your attention to some chick you were clearly chopping it up with. He continued chewing on his ruined straw of his drink as you scooted closer to her instinctually and cracked so many jokes with her, it was a surprise she didn't die from a laugh attack or something. She clearly wanted to get into your pants, and you let her hands roam on you like he once did with you.

Did you not love him anymore? Is that what this was? He could play whatever role you wanted him to. He'd be your bitch, he'll dress up in whatever you want, let you call him names and pull at his hair and face. Just...anything but fucking cheat. He wanted to yell at you and beg you to come back at the same time. He wanted to murder her in front of your face and just drag you back home and never let you out again. His feet carried him to your table three stores away, legs numb with adrenaline and head pounding.

He stood in front of your table and watched you stare up at him in slight surprise. Your arm was across the back of the girls chair and she stared back up at him in confusion. ".......is this where you've been?" His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and his voice was wobbly. He hated everything about this.

"Excuse me?" You saved face and played confusion, still relaxed in your chair. The girl turned to whisper to you if you knew him and you shook your head. Satoru felt his hands shake at seeing you lie to her face about your relationship status. So it all meant nothing to you? He stuck with you since he was a stupid teenage freak. Too strong for his own good, desperate for something new and true for his heart to hang onto. You were his salvation, you were real to him. You gave him exactly what he needed. Love, validation, excitement, fun and so much he couldn't get out of his childhood, out of his job or anywhere else on the fucking planet. You were his everything and here you were brushing off 10 years with a shake of your head.

"What??......no." He shook his head and pointed at you, trying to form words in his mind to spit out of his mouth. "You've been cheating on me this past month. Coming home late, acting like I'm nothing....leaving me all alone. Am I nothing to you?? Am I? I gave myself to you a-and you're out cheating-"

"Gojo, I don't give a fuck." You shake your head and ignored the girl giggling to herself. "I'm clearly cheating on you. I didn't want you to fucking stalk me though. That's weird as hell, i was just hoping you'd break it off, honestly...why are you laughing?" You turn back to the girl, her smile making you smile. "I just think it's cute that you're cheating with me..." "You like that?" Satoru switches his gaze to the slut on your arm and your face drops as he tackles her to the ground. Her screech as he plummets her face into the ground makes you grab Gojo by the collar to bring him off of her. It happened so fast, you wished you could've predicted when it happened, because nothing could've stopped him from killing her in that moment in time.

She was definitely dead. The concrete underneath what used to be her head was cracked, her blood seeping right into them. "You fucking killed her." "BECAUSE YOU CHEATED!" He panted heavily, fury fueling his anger. Both of his hands were covered in a dark dripping crimson and you heaved a sigh. His blood felt like it was burning as it coursed through his veins violently. For some reason, his vision felt as if it was blurry. Maybe it was from tears or from the extreme stress you were putting him in. Either way, he couldn't think straight. Not when you stared at him like that. "YOU FUCKING CHEATED. And you want to be mad? How about I fucking kill you next?" He was talking out of his ass, but for some reason, he felt as if he needed to do something about this. He couldn't just let you go. You were supposed to be his until the end of time. What if you go outside to cheat again?? He's stronger than you, he could probably bring you back to the house without problems.

He began convincing himself that kidnapping you would probably be the best solution for you. He's heard of stockholm syndrome. Maybe then, you'll love him back. He wonders how long that would take. "I think.....I think it's time we go home, don't you think?" "I'm leaving." When you turned, he grabbed your arm, and suddenly you two were back in your shared living room. You turned back to Gojo and glared. "Let me go." "Shhhh, just let me love you." You scrunched your eyebrows and saw him dig into his back pocket before putting what was probably a pill into his mouth. "What the fuck are you doi-?" He slammed his lips onto yours, placing his stained hands on either side of your face. He does quick work of shoving the pill into your mouth with his tongue, making you swallow it. You bite his lip as hard as you can, tasting warm iron on your tongue immediately. His only reaction was to moan like a psycho, continuing to kiss you sloppily.

You finally find a middle ground and managed to place your hands on his chest, shoving him away. He looked insane with his messy hair and bloodied lips. But you couldn't say anything quick enough, for he closed the distance, a fist being the last thing you see before you black out.

Gojo had always been stronger than you. But never in your 10 year relationship has he ever put his hands on you. And never has he drugged you and dragged you to the basement of your shared living space for however long he desired to make you "love him again". Every day, he'd feed you as much as he could and would beg for your forgiveness and love. You'd spit in his face(a warm welcome, in his opinion), and tell him to let you go. Or just say nothing. But if you didn't say anything, he'd just pester you for longer than he usually would. You hated bath time with him, you hated when he took care of you, you hated being worshipped by him. You just wanted to be free. But you were his only escape, his freedom. And it would be that way until your life wasted away entirely.

[evieismol]

Big Bend - Chapter Two

Cw: cursing, mentions of man eating giants (nothing comes of it)

Previous

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Texas was really fucking big. Yeah, I knew that was like it's whole thing - “everything's bigger in Texas” - but I still hadn't been expecting it to be this big. I'd been driving all day, and I'd watched the sun move from the east to overhead to west and then finally disappear behind the horizon, leaving the faded orange sky that currently sprawled in front of me. I'd entered the state while the sun was somewhere between east and overhead, almost seven hours ago, and based on my phone's map, I still had another hour to go before I'd reach my destination. 

Growing up in Connecticut and having spent the last three years mostly staying in the same neighborhood in Seattle, I found myself more than a little shocked.

 I probably should have expected this, I thought. I mean, what was I expecting taking a job in the state with the aforementioned motto, at a place called Big Bend. 

Well, I wanted to get away from things, and by the looks of it, I've certainly succeeded at that at least.

Miles of desert stretched on for as far as the eye could see in every direction. 

Yup. Nailed it. 

Despite still being an hour away, I felt anxiety bubbling up in my stomach as I approached what was going to be both my new job and home. I'd never worked at a national park before. Granted, I'd only be working there as a gift shop clerk - not a cool job like being a park ranger. Still, it was entirely out of my comfort zone. Several days of driving out of my comfort zone, to be exact. 

The job offered room and board, though, and when it was between spending the last of my money on gas and driving to the other side of the country versus hoping to get a bed at a women's shelter that already didn't have enough beds, I would apparently choose the first option. 

I just really hoped I didn't regret it. 

The dim orange sky continued to fade as I drove on. Hotel California played faintly over the radio. When the sky was almost entirely dark, I finally saw it. 

The large wood sign sat on the side of the road. There was just enough light left to make out the words. I slowed to a crawl as I drove past.

“Big Bend National Park,” I murmured. “Here goes way more than nothing.” 

I continued on, the sign fading into gray dusk as I sped up again. It wasn't long before lights appeared in front of me. They grew larger quickly. Soon, the navigation on my phone showed I'd arrived at my destination. Panther Junction. As I stared at the lights in front of me in the otherwise dark desert, it hit me that I hadn't quite arrived at my destination. Not exactly. I'd been told to go to Panther Junction, where I'd be working and living, but instructions beyond that were unclear. The series of roads, parking lots, and buildings in front of me left far more options than I would have liked. The main visitor center, a two story building with what looked like a balcony, was dark. That eliminated that option, at least. The parking lot in front was also empty, and seemed like a decent enough place to park and start looking for someone who might know where I was supposed to be. 

I mean, someone has to know, right? I just really hoped that someone wasn't solely me. I pulled into a parking spot, turned my car off, and climbed out into to crisp night air. Looking around, it seemed like the lights I'd seen were behind the visitor center, so I decided I'd start there. 

God, I'd so be the first person to die in a horror. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've seen a horror movie that starts like this. 

I pushed those thoughts aside and started walking, reminding myself that this wasn't a horror movie. The walk towards the lights was silent aside from crickets. It grew steadily larger in front of me. 

Wait. 

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I neared the lights, I realized something was off with the perspective. They were growing larger far too fast for any building I could imagine existing out here. Not only that, but they seemed to be sinking lower. 

If that building is so big, shouldn't they be getting higher up? 

It took several moments for me to figure out what I was staring at. All the while, I edged closer to the lights. 

Maybe it's an optical illusion? A mirage? Those happen in deserts, right? 

I was hardly an expert in deserts, but I felt like I'd heard somewhere that mirage had something to do with sun and heat, both of which the night was currently lacking. 

As I drew closer, I became even more confused. The lights belonged to a building that sat in a canyon in front of me. That alone wasn't weird. What was, though, were both the size and proportions of the building. It looked like a camper. The vintage kind that wouldn't seem out of place on a postcard from a national park. However, it was at least several hundred feet tall, obscured only by the canyon it lay in. Speaking of the canyon - I should be nearing the edge. I cautiously lifted my phone’s light from directly in front of me to further out. Just as I'd guessed, there was a sharp drop off about seven feet away. It was just barely illuminated by my phone's light. Deciding I didn't want to add “falling off a sheer cliff in the middle of nowhere” to the day's activities, I started to trace the edge of the cliff with my light, moving it to my left.

 And then almost dropped it seconds later. 

It took me a moment once again to process what I was looking at, and when I did, my eyes widened. The person sitting against the cliff wall to my side was huge. Even that descriptor felt like an understatement. He was large enough that my brain had registered him as another rock formation in the darkness as I'd been walking up, because surely a living being couldn't be that large. 

Well, I guess that explains the giant building. 

And raises about a dozen more questions. 

He was tall enough that my flashlight only actually illuminated a portion of the green sweater he was wearing. He noticed me mere moments after I noticed him, and his eyes widened. I felt like he probably also would have almost dropped his flashlight if he'd been carrying one. He quickly took out his airpods - or airpod lookalikes, since I wasn't sure they made airpods that big. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," I said quickly. 

"It's fine," he said, looking more confused than I felt. "I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you walk up, I was listening to music." 

"I'm kind of surprised you heard me at all. Wait, should I be talking louder?" I wasn't really sure what the etiquette was for talking to giants, admittedly.

In fact, the term ‘giant’ in itself was something of an umbrella term. There were technically several kinds of beings from various realms that were referred to as giants. Some more humanoid than others, some larger than others. The most well known, and common, around Earth were Tyastrons. I'd worked with one briefly during a summer job when I was in high-school. I was fairly certain I didn't remember her being anywhere near the size of the young man in front of me, though. She had been around 40 feet tall. That was still positively ginormous to me, at 5’5”. The giant in front of me would have easily dwarfed her, though. Even sitting down, he was at least 100 feet tall. 

 He shook his head. 

"No, you're good. Really good hearing is like an Aphirial thing-" 

"You're an Aphirial?" I asked, realizing I cut him off halfway through my question. I cringed internally. 

I remembered hearing that name a few times in the past. Mostly in connection with campfire tales or horror films. They were like, super scary man eating giants, in both of said works.

Fuck, I would so be the first person to die in a horror movie. 

“...yeah.” He answered my question in a cautious tone. 

Now that my eyes had adjusted more, and I was focusing on him, I could make out some more details of his appearance. His hair was his most striking feature. It was a pale blonde - almost white - that I would have assumed was the result of bleach, if I wasn't unsure as to whether or not Aphirials could or did bleach their hair. It fell down to his shoulders, framing a pair of green eyes and a face that looked about my age, despite being several times the size of my entire body. 

Said eyes glittered with apprehension. His brows were drawn together. Overall, no indications of human eating or any other kind of malice. If he wanted to hurt me, he had already had plenty of opportunity to do so. It wouldn’t take much effort for him to reach up and grab me. He made no move to do so. 

Okay, so he’s probably not going to kill me. Right now, at least. 

I probably should have been more concerned at that possibility, but I’d had a very trying past couple of months. 

“So…you like, live out here?” I asked finally. 

“oh-yeah! I'm going to work here. I mean, I live here because of that. I'm going to be a park ranger here.” 

The last sentence made something click in my memory - a tirade from Jack I'd almost forgotten about. One of many, and one I'd been too relieved hadn't been about me to remember. A few months ago he'd been upset about some national park hiring an Aphirial. 

"That's cool," I said. Mostly because it was the first thing to come to mind.

 "I wanted to be a park ranger when I was a kid."  That had been the second thing to come to mind.

 I thankfully didn't say the third thing, which was that I probably didn't have to worry about him eating me then if he was a park ranger, because that had to go against job rules. Instead, I skipped to the fourth. 

“I'm going to be working here too. Not as anything as cool as a park ranger. Just in the gift shop. Speaking of which…I'm glad I ran into you then, because I just got in, and I wasn't really sure where I was supposed to go, but I saw your lights off in the desert and thought maybe someone would be out here.” 

“Huh," Easton said, in a way that made me pretty sure he was also thinking about my lack of survival instinct in wandering off into the dark desert. “I'm not entirely sure. I'll try to help figure it out, though - I bet John might know, or know someone who knows anyways.” 

Before I could question who John was, he continued. “You have no idea who John is, though. Uh, he works for the IMA, technically, but now he also works at the park. As my supervisor. Which I think is a fancy way of saying handler - anyways, uh, why don't I just go get him?” 

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “Thank you.” 

“Will you be alright here?” He asked, gesturing to the dark desert around us. 

I shrugged. “Oh, yeah. What's the worst that can happen, a flesh pedestrian mimics my late mother's voice and lures me out into the night to steal my skin?” 

He gave me an confused look. "I-uh-what?'

"Just joking. I'll be fine,” I said, wincing at my awkward attempt at humor. I'd never been good at it. Or really talking to people in general. Apparently that hadn't changed, even if the person in question was the size of a building.

“Right. Uh, okay, I'll be back in a just a minute,” he said. “I'm just going to stand up and walk over to the trailer.” 

I thought it was a bit unnecessary for him to announce his movements, until he actually stood up. Even though I could have guessed he was somewhere around two hundred feet tall based on his size while sitting, the reality of what that meant hit me like a freight train as he drew himself up to his full height. His face had been almost level with the cliff edge I stood on previously. Now he towered over me. And the cliff itself. I swallowed. It was somewhere between surreal, terrifying, and really cool to be looking up at someone the size of a small skyscraper. To be interacting with them. 

The giant paused, looking down at me. 

“Sorry, what was your name?” 

“Oh, right. I'm Zoey. Zoey Summers. What was yours?” 

“Easton Parks.” 

“Park Ranger Parks,” I noted with a small laugh.  

“It is a little ironic, isn't it? You can just call me Easton, though.” He laughed softly as well. “Anyways, I won't be long getting John, and I'm sure he'll at least know who to contact.” 

I nodded, then wondered if he could even see it, between my size and the darkness. He gave a short nod of his own in response. Apparently he could. 

I watched him turn and begin to move toward the giant trailer. As he did, I noticed a sort of tremor in the ground beneath me. It took me a second to put together it was caused by his footsteps. 

Damn. 

He disappeared into the trailer shortly, leaving me alone in the dark desert once more to ponder what had just happened. Out of all the things I'd been expecting to find out here, an Aphirial was very much not one of them. Still, he seemed quite nice, and he was helping me. I'd take a helpful Aphirial over an unhelpful Human any day, I decided. 

It didn't take long for Easton to return. He seemed to be just as alone at first. As he drew nearer, though, I could make out that he was holding something in one hand. It wasn't until he had announced he was going to crouch down, and was once again almost eye level with the cliff, that I realized what it was. Or more, who it was. The man in the center of his looked older than both of us by at least a decade. Despite the fact that he was literally in someone's hand, he possessed an air of authority noticeable even from where I stood. Easton slowly lowered his hand to the cliff. The man - John, I guessed - climbed off smoothly. 

“So, you must be Zoey.” 

Next

[vixen7243]

Delusional/Depressed!John Price X AFAB!Reader

CW: Death, Suicide, Alcohol, Neglect (if I’m missing anything else let me know)

John Price was a respected, strong and honest captain, rookies always looked up to him and his team. Even if at times morally challenging decisions had to be made they knew he would have everyone’s back, he was a ride and die kinda guy. That’s what you loved about him, cherished, with more and more people working with the team the responsibility out weighed him and you were always more than welcoming when he would come to your bed late in the night. Your arms and warmth melting away his stress, anxiety and loneliness. “I’ll always be here for you my love.” You would whisper into his ear, rubbing his muscles, and combing your fingers through his hair.

As the last few months dragged on, you could see the toll of work on your lover, the death of rookies from missions were piling up and slowly killing him. Having to write and sign KIA forms for families you would sit near by as he chain smoked through his cigars and chugged any alcohol he could get his hands on.

Laying a gentle hand on his shoulder you would try to pull him back, “My love, please, come back to me?” Looking up as the door would open, Simon, John’s best, his lieutenant, his friend, walked in sighing.

“Aie, come on captain.” His voice is low and soft as can be, movements slow as if he was approaching a bomb that could go off at the slightest vibration.

“Leave us be.”

“Sir-“

John turned fully wrapping his arms around your waist trying to breathe you in, trying to hide the tears that ran down and soaked his beard. Looking to Simon mournfully you waited as he made his way around the desk prying John out of his chair, catching the fists that tried to push him away. “Damnit, leave us alone.”

“You need to get to bed.” Simon stated, hardening up a bit, man handling his captain all the way to his room. “Just need to sleep it off, ya?” Once near the bed John roughly pushed Simon to the door.

“Fucking hell , fine just get out.” Simon watched as John tucked into bed curling around you like a ball, shielding himself and you from the world. Closing the door Simon could hear the broken sobs, John saying your name and why, why couldn’t he be better.

As the days dragged so did John’s mind, quick checks over his shoulders had you and the rest of the team worried. Unknown to the rest of you, the long nights and alcohol worked his nerves, he swears he was seeing the rookies, clothes blood soaked, hoarse voices asking if their work was done. He felt lost, every corner more and more blocked him, even the living, asking, requesting to join him on the next mission.

Closing himself in your room, which for a while he’s used as his own and no one questions. Always tucking you into himself before his hands slowly wondered around your body, taking in every in, mind blanking as you turn and remove your clothes straddling him kissing his cheeks, nose, lips and neck trailing down. Lifting his hips as you pulled his pants off, he groaned looking down, your sweet smile making his stomach twist into knots. As the two of you got lost in each other, John couldn't stop the swell of pain and agony in his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut he huffed as he felt a few rogue tears streak down his cheeks, "My love, what's wrong?" His fingers tighten around your waist, grip bruising, "Talk to me honey."

"Don't leave me." Looking up at you, your heart would break. It's not the first time he's broken down, scared of you disappearing, begging you to stay with him. "I can't live without you, your the air that inflates my lungs, blood in my veins, every thought that passes through my brain." Cupping your cheek as you used your thumbs to swipe at tears that continued to fall, "You're the light that makes my soul shine, vibrate and feel complete. There's nothing but you. Please. Don't leave me."

"I will always be here, there's no where I would go without you, my love." You whispered, grinding down, "I'm yours, always and forever." Both of you breathed into the other, "I'll never leave you."

Your room and arms will always be his safe place, so he would hide for as long as he could till the next job showed its unforgiving face. At one point brought some relief to just do something now brought anxiety and fear. Who was he going to loose this time, what family was going to read his name and curse him 1,000’s of miles away. What face was going to be added to his daily delusions in the halls and his office.

Setting out, John grew irritable and anxious as the team and a few unlucky rookies approached drop off. Your hand never left his, fingers tight intertwined in his lap, leg bouncing, and eyes darting. He could already feel the cold sweat breaking out on his forehead as he refused to look at or answer any of the rookies, Johnny and Kyle taking the lead on directing the new blood, advising them what to expect.

Simon watched John intently, checking where John would look to, also seeing but nothing being there. Mostly his eyes stayed on you, the soothing circular motion of your thumb on the pulse of his wrist kept his breathing under control.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“Stay low, they’ve got us surrounded.” John repeated over the walkies glaring at a rookie that Johnny just had to pull back as a round was shot at where they were just standing. Cursing under his breath he looked around, wondering where you had gone before his heart nearly stopped as he saw you get shot in the leg as you moved spots. Panicking he bolted for you dragging you behind some cargo, “Damnit Y/N what were you thinking?!”

“What?”

“I can’t loose you.” He said frantically looking around spotting Simon. “Get Y/N out of here, she’s shot!” Simon kneeled down looking between the two eyes saying everything, confusion and worry. “Now lieutenant!”

“But-“ before anything could be said Simon had picked them up and with John making cover, made sure everyone got out and to the Ronda Vue point. The whole way everyone was quiet, except for John cursing under his breath for Y/N and why she would put herself in harms way.

Before he could get too carried away Kyle bumped shoulders with him, "Sir, everyone's okay, relax." Jaw clenching, John glared forward at Simon's back.

"They're saying he was referring to private Williams as Y/n, even talking to himself." An officer said looking over to John who stared blankly away from everyone.

"He's fine." Simon's gruff voice waver, also looking to his captain he was trying to help him save face but the way he looked truly wasn't backing his statement.

"There's reports him always drinking, always talking to himself. Yet you say he's fine lieutenant?"

"John?" He looked slowly to you.

"We know it's been 2 years sinc-"

"So then cut him some slack." Kyle said trying to step in front of his captain.

"My love." Your voice was a broken hoarse whisper.

"There was a lot of doubt a year and half ago when he came back on if he should, we only looked the other way out of respect but this is far enough."

John felt his heart sinking, looking over you, he wanted to throw up, your shirt was darkening quickly with your blood, skin paling in comparison. "John."

He couldn't think, there was too much gun fire to think of a safe escape. 3 privates were already gunned down, bodies left behind in order to save themselves, their faces burned to his brain for later hauntings. Frantically he looked around for you, unable to even catch a glimpse of you he tried sneaking around to find you, an unsettling feeling pitting in his stomach. "No." he whispered, no longer staying low rather rushing in every direction that he can think of to find you.

"JOHN!"

Before he could see you, he was pushed to the ground when after 4 shots, all firing stopped. A pin could drop and it would echo in the building. Looking up his blood ran cold as you turned, eyes just as wide looking down at him, blood was starting to spread on your chest, "John?" Taking one step to him, you collapsed, making John scramble to you, ears ringing as his vision blurred.

"No, no, no." Pressing his hands into your chest he panicked, eyes unable to focus on one part of you, looking into your eyes, he broke down, "Don't you fucking die." Tears fell, splashing onto your cheek.

Reaching your hand up to his cheek you wiped a few tears, "I'm sorry my love."

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Looking up as footsteps approached, he looked at the team. "Give me your damn bags!"

"Honey, look at me." Your voice was breaking.

"Just save your energy, stop trying to fucking talk." He said snatching the bandages from Kyle pushing where ever blood would pool.

"I love you John."

"Stop."

"Don't...D-" Gasping your eyes teared up, hand reaching for his wrist, "Don't....I don't want to leave."

"Then don't." He whispered looking down at you, your scared face burned now into his brain.

"John." Gasping out one last time, your grip loosened on his wrist before you frantically looked to the guys and then.......

"Y/N?" ..... "Dear?" .... "Don't leave me.... please?" Pulling you up and hugging you tightly against his chest he started panting, grabbing your wrist, "I can't live without you." He whispered into your hair. He cried, sitting there with you, the guys silent around him, Kyle wiping a few tears as well as Johnny as Simon tried to blink away the few that tried to escape.

---

When your body was shipped back home, Simon, Kyle and Johnny went with John to his house, where they finally saw your shared home and land. You were buried under your guys favorite tree. Where you guys first kissed, confessed your feelings, made plans for your future, wedding, family, retirement. Now, it's where you would lay, John was frozen and numb as you were lowered into the ground, it was just him, Simon, Johnny, Kyle, Nikolai, Alex, Alejandro, Rudy, Kate and her wife. They all stayed as dirt was poured over your casket, quiet and unmoving as John quietly cried, before turning his back after glaring at your tomb stone.

In smaller print in the corner of your tomb stone, was written of the baby that was inside you. When he was told that you had been pregnant, the guys had never seen him lose control like he had in the morgue, flipping things, throwing an breaking anything he could. Simon ordered the mortician to leave and give them a moment, Kyle and Johnny tried to grab and stop John but he pushed them away, knocking Johnny flat on his ass as he screamed.

"That's supposed to be me god damnit! ME! I should be fucking laying there! FuCk!!!" Tears streamed down his face, he choked as he turned and looked at you, why'd you have to look so peaceful? Grabbing tightly onto your hand he fell hard onto his knees, the pain numbed as he rested his hand on your stomach, "I should be laying here, not you. Why the fuck couldn't you just let me take those bullets? You could have our baby, could've had a small part of me to stay with you.....You left me nothing." His knuckles turned white from his grip, the coldness of your hand a contrast from the heat of his.

Feeling a few hands grab onto his shoulders he tensed, the silence deafening but appreciated, he didn't want their pity words. They all stayed that night, sitting outside with him, few old stories told of you. How they met you, what they thought, their favorite memories, all just a muffled sound to John as he glared at the tree. Part of him wanted to burn the thing to the ground along with the house and himself, but knew how sad you would be, the knowledge of your pain of him doing that out weighing his self hating desire. The next day every but Simon, Johnny and Kyle left, telling John if he needed anything to call them. The following few days John was quiet, mostly kind of drinking here and there but not saying a word even when the others would talk to him.

"I don't need to be babysat." He grumbled, sitting in the living room in his chair looking at yours. Kyle had made the small mistake the day that the other left to sit there, John had gone absolutely ballistic like he had in the morgue but on Kyle, since then, no one went near it except for John to adjust your favorite blanket and flush your pillow. "You lot can go home."

"If you want us to go, we will." Kyle said knocking one knuckle against the wall lightly, not really trusting to leave him alone but everyone needs to mourn in their own way and he can only pray that his captain won't do anything stupid.

"Then go." Cut short and simple, he felt suffocated and wanted to shoot them all if they didn't leave him be. As they got into their own collective vehicles, John went back into the house, doing a slow walk through before he grabbed every last bottle of liquor in the house and sat in your chair and drank everything. Finally, finishing everything in a day and half drunk off his ass he drove half hazardously to the market, bought more as if he was through a ragger of a party, pulling up to the house he hauled everything in, his last trip in he froze at the threshold of the kitchen.

It's the alcohol, he's shit faced, that's the only explanation, because other wise he wouldn't be seeing you standing in the kitchen clear as day humming. "Hi honey, took you long enough."

---

John was discharged, sent into retirement with respect, and the guys took their leave, moving themselves in with John, the drinking had gotten worse. They did everything they could to keep an eye on him, but John fought them, made it hard, the first 2 months, he said some hard, hurtful things to them, drunk and stayed in his room.

Eventually, John came down, showered and hung over but calmer, he sat in his chair joining the guys. “I’m sorry.” He sighed digging into his pocket pulling out your engagement and wedding ring setting them on the coffee table. The tv was muted as they looked at the rings quietly before looking up at him as he spoke. “I was going to propose to her after we got home from the mission, was going to do it under the tree, set it up like when we first confessed our love for each other.” He laughed to himself, "Never was one for I one for romantic gestures, she always made the big moves. I was always content to just take care of her and provide for her." Rubbing your blanket between his fingers he looked up and saw you, a sad smile on your lightly glowing skin. "That's all I ever wanted to do for her, she had a shitty family and I wanted to give her everything she dreamed of. We were stupidly already trying for a family, she wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world and I wanted to give her that. Should've retired when we set out to try in hind sight but she was as stubborn as I am." Taking a deep breathe he picked the rings up looking at them, "She wanted you guys to always come by but selfishly I was enjoying our solitude, our world out here. I should've listened to her and invited you guys sooner, I'm sorry."

From then on, John worked on being more involved in the house and work the guys were doing, Kyle had taken up your garden with the help of Johnny, Simon kept up on anything that needed fixing around the house, Johnny mostly cut the grass and watered your plants inside the house. All of them took turns cooking meals, very quickly with John now included in the motion of everything settled. He still saw you around the house, but now he welcomed it, it was always a break in the emotionless auto pilot he found himself in.

A year went by, Johnny and Simon came out about their relationship and John was more than willing to push them into the small mother in law house that was in the back also close to the house and tree.John encouraged Kyle to date the sweet girl he was fancy with at the town's little diner which was blossoming and the two grew close quickly. John spent his time making a bench most of the time, now not having touched an ounce of liquor in a year.

Finishing the bench on your anniversary, he brought it to the tree by your tombstone, he had kept up the area, keeping the grass cut and every morning laying fresh flowers down with your tea. Sitting down on the bench, he grabbed his full bottle of antidepressants, and then benadryl, downing both and sipping on tea, the breeze cool against his skin as the sun beat down on him. Looking beside him he smile, "HI baby."

"Hi."

"Don't look so sad honey."

"You know I don't want you to do this."

"But I want to do this." He said wiping a tear from your cheek. "The lads will be taken care of, everything is left to them."

"So they're going to find you here? Dead?"

"In peace, free and with you. Where I belong."

Settling in, tucked into his side you both were quiet as his heart started beating a little slower, eye lids slowly falling shut as he could feel a faint phantom feeling of your lips touching his cheek.

The guys all made their way to your grave, something they all did with John most evenings to say good night. Coming around the tree they froze seeing John sitting on the bench, unmoving, head leaned back with moist cheeks from tears. Within days John was buried beside you, his will was read, and they officially moved to the houses, Johnny and Simon stayed in the 'mother in law' house and Kyle and his girlfriend moved into the main house, but they set John and you chair on Johnny and Simon's porch preserved and safe, Just like John promised you, they were taken care of, always visiting your guys graves on holldays and anniversary's.

——-

😭😭😭😭😭😭When I tell you guys that I cried thinking about this plot yesterday and then a little broken up while writing it today I mean it! Hopefully you guys... Enjoyed??🤷‍♀️It plagued me and now it will plague you all...Sorry.🙏

[justmeinadaze]

"I'm Just a F**ked Up Girl Looking For Her Own Peace of Mind"

I'm currently experience this and struggling with it so I wrote a little thing here. *sighs*

TW: Mental health (anxiety and depression), child abuse, mentions of suicidal thoughts. Reader has a breakdown and the guys help her through.

Eddie firmly barreled open the front door as he powerwalked into the house. Steve had texted those two words he dreaded every time he got a text from the former jock. 

“Bad day.”

When they started dating you, you told them about your past. About the hospital stay and medication… the depressive lows and manic anxiety episodes… the thoughts that pushed through your head from time to time even though your life was so much better now than where it had been. 

“I’m not…easy…to be with.”

“That’s ok, honey, neither are we.”

You three had laughed at that at the time. 

The first time they experienced it broke their hearts for you. People always mentioned “feeling depressed” or “oh I’m so anxious about this thing!” but they discovered the true meaning of those words during your first break in front of them.

They hadn’t moved in with you yet so you were able to hide the fact that you hadn’t been sleeping. Your mind constantly reminding you of things that needed to be done and how you were a failure for not doing them. Nightmares plagued your dreams at all hours so you just gave up, scrolling through your phone instead as the mental illness continued to whisper.

“Do better. You’re lazy. May as well just get it over with and end the burden you put on people.”

That following evening you had a date night with them at their place and you couldn’t cancel. You genuinely wanted to see them but you were so tired…

“A good girlfriend goes out on dates. Go ahead. Cancel. Let’s see how quick they leave you for someone better.”

Through the first half of the movie they put on, your leg never stopped moving. Steve watched as your eyes never stayed focus in one place. Eddie felt your erratic energy radiate off you as you switched from holding his hand to letting go every few minutes. 

“Baby? Is everything ok?”

“Yeah.”, you responded a bit too enthusiastically. “Yeah, Ed, I’m fine. I’m just…I’m just a bit tired. It’s ok. I’ll get over it.”

Steve paused the film and as his hand petted your head you broke down. 

“I’m sorry. Fuck! Why can’t I be normal?! I’m ruining everything. You should just leave me and find someone better.”

“Hey, hey. No. Sweetheart, no one is better than you.”

“Talk to us, honey. What’s going on?”

You sobbed as you told them what had been happening over the last few days. The listened intently, comforting you anyway they could think of in that moment. 

“They don’t go away, Steve. Those thoughts never go away. Most days I can manage them but they are always there. W-Who can I tell? If I tell a therapist or a doctor they will put me back in the hospital even though I’m not going to do anything… I can’t tell my friends because I feel like I’m burdening them or they just don’t care. I can’t tell people in general because then I’m being ‘overdramatic’. I can’t take time to heal because I’m supposed to ‘suck it up’. So I do… Eddie, I want my brain to just stop telling me I want to die because I really don’t. Some days, though, on bad days…it’s so loud…”

The metalhead yanked you to his chest as you cried, crying with you as he tightened his grip as if he could squeeze all your broken pieces back together. He’d give anything to take your pain away, they both would. 

Today was a manic day and Steve picked up on it fast. Today was his day off and as soon as you woke up, you barely said a word. He asked you if you wanted breakfast and you shot him an angry look as you walked away. Turning on the tv, he put on the game but after a few minutes you came around the corner snapping at him to turn the noise down. Even when he muted the sound, he could hear you growling and swearing under your breath as you moved around the bedroom. 

Other people would see it as you being a brat; causing drama for the sake of drama. 

You wished you could make the world understand that was the opposite of what you wanted. In an episode like this everything was just…amplified…and for some reason your brain insisted it was on purpose. Steve was purposely turning up the volume to get under skin. The birds chirping outside knew you were on the edge so they gathered outside your window with intent. Even the clock on the bed side table was mocking you. 

Both men tried to handle days like this by themselves but when it got to a certain point, they knew they needed to come together to help you. That point came when you abruptly screamed and threw something hard against the wall. 

When Eddie entered the bedroom, Steve was off to the side watching you as you angrily paced, fluttering your fingers with eyes squeezed tightly closed. 

“What happened?”

Your eyes open at the sound of his voice as you shrugged and threw your hands in the air. 

“What happened? What the fuck happened?! Oh, I don’t know. Where do we start, Eddie?! This house is a fucking mess. I tell you guys all the time I need fucking help! I’m not a maid! I’m your girlfriend! But who fucking cares right?! We can just live in trash and be unhappy!”

They knew better than to respond. Before you three moved in together, you had suggested they come to therapy with you and they were surprised with some of the things they learned. They and even you knew they were more than accommodating when it came to housework and splitting household chores. When you were growing up, however, it was never enough.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, look at this mess! Did you do anything today?!”

Little you looked around at the immaculate living room wondering what else you could have missed. 

“I work and I slave all day at a job I hate so you can have food and a roof! The least you could do is fucking get off your ass and clean a bit!”

“I-I’m sorry, mama.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just do your job! We’re a team remember? I need you to pull your weight.”

They could almost see interactions like that replaying through your eyes and it killed them. They also saw how fast the logic brain took over as you realized what you were doing before the depressive brain abruptly took over.

“I’m sorry. I-I don’t mean to… I know I’m being crazy…I just…” You lean your back against the wall and slide to the floor with your hands over your ears. 

Both men descend with you, crawling closer to you and as soon as Steve’s hand touches your bicep you head shoots up with eyes full of tears. 

“I’m sorry. You two don’t deserve this. I’m a terrible girlfriend.”

“No, baby, you’re not terrible. Everything’s ok.”

“I-I-I appreciate…e-e-every…everything you guys do. Fuck. Everything is so loud, Eddie. I can’t… I couldn’t…I just wanted to scream…”

“Then scream.” You laughed at his response as you wiped your eyes but he insisted. “I’m serious, sweetheart. Just let go.”

“What about…about the neighbors?”

“Like they don’t get an earful almost every night.”, he jokes, grinning when you laugh again. “Go ahead. Just lean back and let loose.”

You roll your eyes as you do what he says but it’s a small shout that barely echoes in the room. 

“Wow. That was both adorable and pathetic. Come on now. Steve, why don’t you try?”

Chuckling, he struggles to stop smiling making you giggle harder before finally closing his eyes and letting out a good scream that makes the metalhead clap. 

“That’s the king of Hawkins right there! Now try again princess.”

Sighing at his antics, you do as he says actually letting go while they scrunch their face and cover their ears. 

“Woo! That was like Banshee from X-Men! Way to go!”

“What about you, nerd?”, you ask as he smirks.

Eddie doesn’t even hesitate as he leans his head back and howls loudly like a wolf. 

“I love you both.”, you softly grin as you reach for both boy’s hands. “I’m sorry for being…me.”

Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, Steve tilts you closer to him and kisses the top of your head. 

“Don’t ever apologize for being you, honey. We love you. Every part of you.”

“We know everyday you’re trying, baby. Unlike your mother who insists on being an evil little gremlin.” You giggle at Eddie’s interpretation. “Like your wizard of a therapist said, healing takes time and we’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Jesus, Munson, you ARE a nerd.”, Steve jests. “But the other stuff he said I agree with.”

“Oh please! Tell me her doctor doesn’t sound like Gandalf from time to time.”

“I still have no idea who that is.”

After rising to his feet, the metalhead grabs your hands and pulls you off the floor. 

“Well, I know what we’re doing tonight.”, he announces with a mischievous smirk before kissing your lips and running back towards the living room. 

“I’ll make dinner.”, Steve murmurs as he leans down to kiss your lips as well. 

“Oh, you know he won’t allow that. He’s going to want you in front of the tv so you don’t miss anything.”

“True. Hm. How about Enzos delivered?”

When you nod, he caresses your cheek before disappearing after his friend. 

As your eyes glance around the room again everything seems different than it did before. Instead of seeing a mess ridden, dark empty area, you saw a bright room filled with memories of the men you loved making you laugh and feel loved unconditionally. 

“But for how long? It’s only a matter of time.”

“No, it’s not.”, you whisper. 

Taking a deep breath, you head towards the living room where Eddie and Steve greet you with a comforting smile. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 42

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The baby sleeps in her bassinet. Peaceful. You don’t know the last time you ever felt that. The last time you slept soundly. When you manage to drift off, it’s painful and heavy, and you wake up feeling worse as you face the reality you can’t escape.

Dottie’s flighty tones waft up from the first floor. You can’t make out her words, you don’t care enough to try, but you know by Andy’s deep responses and the subsequent click of the door that she’s sending him off. Good. You can’t face him, not after you ran out covered in bile.

You prop up several pillows behind you and recline against them. You just lay there, staring at the joint of ceiling and wall. You don’t watch anything, you don’t use your phone to scroll, you can’t even listen to music. They’re all just a reminder of what you don’t have and what you’re stuck in. Other people have lives and meaning, you are just an udder to be milked.

Dottie raps on the door but as usual, doesn’t await your permittance. She inches open the door and lets out a long sigh. She disapproves. Of you. She should direct that at her son. You don’t say as much. You tried to before and she was too cowardly to hear you. Must be where he gets it from.

“Andy packed up your leftovers,” she informs you, “such a sweetheart that one.”

“You can have them,” you roll onto your side and cross your arms, “I said, I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat, hon–”

“For her or for me? I’m not stupid. The only reason you care is because the baby needs to suck on me like a goddamn juice box. You don’t care how I feel.”

“I know exactly how you feel, dearie, I carried a child too, I fed them, I spent those months with just me and them–”

“Whatever. I don’t fucking want to hear what you went through. It’s not the same.”

“You can’t go on like this. You won’t survive.”

“What do you care?” You snarl. “Because I don’t. I don’t care. Put her on formula and let me die.”

Silence. You hear her near the bassinet and feel her shadow looming near the bed. You almost regret your words. Almost. It would solve a lot of issues if you weren’t here. 

You wouldn’t feel like this. That baby wouldn’t have to feel the flagrant resent radiating off of you at every moment. Dottie wouldn’t have to pretend. And Lloyd, whenever he returns, wouldn’t have to throw you out. You’d do him a favour, quite generously, and free him yourself.

“I’ll take Luna for the night. You get some sleep,” the wheel of bassinet unlocks and rolls softly over the hardwood, “I’ll bring up the pump. I sterilised it earlier. You can use that if you feel… uncomfortable.”

“Fine,” you hiss, “get away from me.”

🍑

You wouldn’t know it if you didn’t see the date stamped at the bottom corner of the television screen. You sit, blankly, watching the scroll of text across the bottom, doing the math in your head. Another week. The living room is quiet but for the tempoed cadence of the newscaster.

You’re consumed in the indifference of your existence. You barely say a word. You barely feel. You take the baby when she fusses or when she’s handed to her, you relieve the pressure in your chest, and give her back. You sit around, sometimes you lay flat on your back, and other times you find yourself standing in doorways, feeling lost.

That day feels different. Dottie, like a hummingbird, is always moving, but she is in a storm of anxiety, edging on anticipation. She’s brought you a measured cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal with milk. You’re not very hungry but you drink the coffee first, eating the oatmeal only at her prompt.

She takes the empty dishes after she hands you the baby again. You let her nurse and Dottie comes back to burp her and put her down. The baby, for all your dissonance, is quiet and calm.

You end up on your side, head on a throw pillow, as the news comes to an end and a home show comes on, giving tips on how to reuse old plant potters and repairs bookshelves. You close your eyes as deja vu sweeps over you. Those days you worked nights but found yourself sleepless in the AM, you would put on some channel or another, let the dullness ease you to sleep.

You drift into the memories and feel the tinge beneath your eyelids. When you open your eyes, you expect to be back in the duplex, you expect Colin to walk in and complain about his job, as you get up to make your coffee and make him dinner. You expect to be who you were before all this.

But you’re not.

“Why don’t you have a shower, sweet?” Dottie appears.

You squint as the sunlight streams yellow between the curtains. It’s around noon, you can tell by the height and hue of the day. You nod and let her help you up. The idea doesn’t sound good until she has you under the faucet, the warmth easing your muscles and washing away the days of sweat and negligence.

You get out and your chest aches. You cup your full tits and see your silhouette in the steamy mirror. You reach forward to wipe away the glaze. You see your body, the scar, the stretch marks, the loose skin, the weight still clinging. You want to puke at the sight of yourself.

You cover yourself with a towel and come out. You go to the guest room where you’ve built your nest. Dottie comes to the doorway as you dry yourself off shamelessly. You can’t change it. You can’t undo it.

“Is she hungry?” You ask.

“She’s still asleep.”

“Mm.”

“You hurtin’?” She asks.

You nod. “I’ll pump.”

“Good,” she enters the room and goes to the closet. She pulls out a purplish pink dress with short sleeves and a bit of ruffle around the elastic cuffs and neckline. Not much to it, light and figureless. 

You watch clueless as she lays it out with a pair of panties and a clean nursing bra. You shake your head as you cross your arms around the towel, holding it against your chest as it drapes over your stomach.

“You’ll want to wear something nice for lunch,” she says.

“Lunch?” You scowl.

“Mhmm, a day out of the house, away from the baby, it’ll be nice, won’t it?” She drawls as she turns to you, “Andy will be here soon.”

“Andy?”

“Yep, I told you, hon. Maybe you didn’t hear me, you’ve been a touch distracted,” she touches your shoulder gently, “a mom like you, how can’t you be? Doing so much, giving so much, you deserve a bit of time to get a little, huh?”

You shake your head and give her a frantic look, then glance at the dress.

“Can I wear something else?” You ask, “to hold all this in?”

She seems to sigh in relief. You’re certain she expected an argument but you don’t have that energy. You just do what you’re told, what you have to do. If she wants you out of the house, you’ll gladly leave this prison. 

“If you like,” she puts her hand on her hip, “but will you try this on? You don’t like it and we’ll go with your choice. It’s hot out, dear,  you don’t want to over do it.”

You sniff and shrug, “fine. Whatever.”

And that’s just how it is. You don’t feel much one way or the other. Dress or no dress. It doesn’t matter to you, but the more you let the idea sink in, the more eager you are to get away. Even if Andy will be there.

[raina-at]

In Vino Veritas

Sherlock remembers having heard this somewhere, that wine brings out the truth.

He doesn't know if that's remotely true, but it does seem to have brought out something.

Moments ago, John's hand was on his knee, and the soft firelight painted him golden and warm. Moments ago, Sherlock felt all the ridiculous affection he has for John well up in his heart and spill over. Moments ago, he smiled and put his hand over John's.

Things got a bit blurry, after that, and now...

Now John is straddling him in his chair, John's hands are buried in his hair and they're kissing. Snogging, really. There's lots of tongue, and it's sloppy and imperfect and Sherlock wants to die, it's so good. John feels absolutely divine pressed up against Sherlock, and Sherlock lets his hands wander all over John's back. John tastes of whisky and desire, of forbidden fruit and every long-denied sensory pleasure.

John tastes of whisky.

John is drunk.

Sherlock is drunk.

Sherlock pulls back and pushes John away. "Stop."

John pulls away and Sherlock can see him blink himself back to reality. He looks at Sherlock, messed up and mussed from kissing and devastated. "I'm sorry," he mutters. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I know you don't... I don't know what I was thinking."

"You're drunk," Sherlock points out. "And so am I."

"I'm sorry," John says again, looking at Sherlock with such sadness, such heartbreak. "I'm sorry, I know you don't do this, it'll never happen again, I'm-"

Sherlock puts a finger over his lips. "You're drunk," he says, softly, because he can't let John go on thinking that Sherlock doesn't want this. He wants this more than his next breath. But he wants it to be real, and not just some drunken lark. "You're engaged. I can't..."

The expression on John's face is difficult to read, but his smile is soft and delicate and lovely. "And what if I wasn't? What if I was single, and stone cold sober and came back and kissed you again?"

Sherlock swallows, meeting John's hungry, hopeful eyes. "Then..." he says, leans up and presses one soft kiss to John's lips.

John smiles. "I have to go now."

*-*

Sherlock has a monstrous headache. He fell asleep on the sofa, in his clothes, and he doesn't quite remember everything that happened last night. But he does remember John kissing him. Or him kissing John. He's a bit fuzzy on the details. But he remembers hands in his hair and hungry eyes on his, and he remembers telling John he won't take John drunk and horny. He'll only take him sober and fully aware of what he's doing.

He makes himself tea and toast and drinks about a litre of water. Then he sits in his chair and contemplates his life choices. He doesn't feel very good about most of them right now.

The door to 221 opens and closes.

Sherlock would recognise John's tread on these stairs if he was deaf, blind and stupid. Well, he feels pretty damned stupid right now, but there's nothing wrong with his senses whatsoever.

He stands up, prepares himself for the inevitable. A gentle rejection, a plea to forget this ever happened. Or an angry accusation, a demand never to speak to John again.

There's a knock on the door. Tentative and hesitant.

"Come in," Sherlock says roughly, his voice not entirely recovered from the dehydration of the alcohol. At least that's the reason he gives himself for how unsteady his voice is.

John opens the door. He looks at Sherlock, an unreadable expression on his face. He takes a step closer. Another step. Another, until he stands right in front of Sherlock.

"So what were the criteria again?" he says, with a small, hopeful smile. "Single, and sober, and here?"

Sherlock feels his lips stretch into a smile as he feels the knot of anxiety in his stomach dissolve into relief and happiness. "Something like that."

"And what did you promise me in return?" John asks, his smile now tender and happy and positively glowing.

"This," Sherlock says, and leans down for a kiss.

Thank you so much @calaisreno for the tag and the prompt. Thank you so much for giving us prompts and writing lovely, beautiful, brilliant ficlets every day. 😍😍😍

PS I kind of hate myself for not doing a "It's a truth universally acknowledged" beginning, but I do owe you all two ficlets (I skipped two days), so I think I'll do a bonus one with extra fluffy Bakers.

Tagging a few people: @lisbeth-kk @keirgreeneyes @jrow @peanitbear @meetinginsamarra @thetimemoves @catlock-holmes @discordantwords @topsyturvy-turtely @helloliriels @fluffbyday-smutbynight and anyone else who wants to play.

[velvetlilacsdaisies]

Flames & Weapons pt. i

OC!Fem!Reader x Garrick Tavis, OC!Fem!Reader x Bodhi Durran

Word count: 3.5k

Synopsis: What happens when you attend Basgiath war college as an infantry cadet with your lover, your ride or die best friend and your twin brother? Alot of fucking shit. Follow the story of our oc’s Allie Henrick and Katia Lalley as their bond of friendship remains strong as their dynamics of life change around them. What happens when they meet two fellow first year riders in their first year? Will their world change forever? Then again nothing can be as expected in war college. Stay tuned as our oc's become badass infantry cadets.

Warnings: swearingggg (a lot.), iron flame spoilers???, NO USE OF Y/N!!, mentions of cheating, let me know if we missed anything 🤭

Author’s Note: SURPRISE!! A month in the making thx to my procrastination hehe sorry allie. This is a self indulgent fever dream of a collab between @garricks4thwingqueen (president of the garrick tavis fan club fr) it’s first person original character fic. Primarily focusing on GarrickxOC but with side quests of BodhixOC as well. It’s an entirely new perspective for me to write bc i do y/n pov or third person so this was a treat. We hope you all enjoy!

Three years…three years I had spent in that toxic cesspool of a relationship. For what? For everything I had an intuition about to be true? Fucking incredible. Nothing like being right and a fool, maybe once RSC started Malek could put me out of my misery, and save me from the overwhelming amount of embarrassment I felt. The clock tower in the courtyard sounded alerting it was a quarter to 8, indicating it was almost time for Battle Brief as the chatter in the halls started to die down outside my door.

I sighed, finally rolling myself out of bed after lying there, staring at the ceiling replaying the events of last night since the alarm on my bedside table went off an hour ago, but I was numbly stuck in the warmth of my blankets. What a waste of time… I’ve repeated that to myself for what felt like the umpteenth time that morning.

I barely had enough time to get dressed in the navy blue uniform I grew accustomed to, and put my auburn hair into the slicked-back bun I had to wear, my hair was barely unkempt and uniform not as crisp as the codex required. I was sure to get yelled at by one of the executive lieutenants today, but I didn’t quite care, too numb to feel the usual anxiety I would feel about abiding by the stupid little handbook we were given in the beginning of the year. I dreaded every second of the thought of going to Battle Brief. Being forced into proximity with Zachariah made my stomach churned at the flashbacks of last night.

Minimal conversation was my goal for today, I thought, setting the agenda internally for myself as I walked to Battle Brief. Just make sure my battalion doesn’t do anything stupid and stay in line. I didn’t need to get reprimanded anymore than I probably already would be today. Plus after the night I had prior, I just couldn’t bother with much interaction with anyone. It’s bad enough I had to show up for classes. I put my bag on my shoulder and made sure that my door was locked as I made my way to the academic wing of the infantry quadrant. I was never more thankful for having my own room, one of the primary perks of being a Battalion leader.

I entered the somewhat crowded hall that was used for Battle Brief. A giant map in the middle of the room, showing all of Navarre. Keeping my head down as I made my way to my usual spot.

"Allie you missed breakfast." My best friend, Katia, said concerned. I slid into my seat between her and my twin brother, Drew. He offered a tight-lipped smile in greeting. “You’re going to be sluggish through morning lessons.” She added.

"Fuck off, I’m not gonna die if I miss breakfast." I whispered snappily.

"Eat this," Drew said with a roll of his eyes, ignoring my foul mood, tossing an orange to me.

It landed on my desk with a thud, as I wasn't paying him any mind, no, my sole attention at this point was on my ex and the girl that had her arm wrapped around his waist as they walked into the enormous classroom. "Fucking hells, Chiara Reid?” Drew hissed lowly to us as they walked by.

"Oh shit?" Left the girl besides me lips as they both realized the cause of my current mood. Katia’s eyes now set to a death glare at the pair that passed by.

“I saw them kissing in the library last night. Dumb ass tried denying it all.” I sneered, pushing the lump that had formed in my throat down.

It was the last straw of the tension that had been building between us in the last few weeks. We had been together since we were teenagers, but I guess that hadn’t accounted for anything when you attend war college together.

The last few months were filled with fighting and arguing over his lingering eyes and neglectful behavior. It had driven me mad to the point that I felt crazy for even accusing him of such thoughts of cheating, but last night had confirmed my intuition was right. Fighting the burn in my eyes as silver tears lined them, threatening to spill. I would not get upset over some loser. Katia grabbed my hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it.

“I’m gonna beat his fucking ass.” Drew glowered, gripping his notebook until his knuckles turned white.

"It's not worth it Drew, he's in our squad you know the penalty," I murmured, glancing his way. "I guess I'm out of a best friend now.” He mumbled, slouching in his seat. I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, feeling guilty that I got in the way of their friendship.

Katia scoffed, “You’re more worried about losing a best friend than the fact he treated your sister like shit? Unbelievable Drew…”

“Yeah, well he was my friend first, and I warned him—” My twin grumbled, leaning over me to glare at her.

“Warned him? I fucking told him I’d castrate him if he ever did something to Al. And unlike your pansy ass I fully intend on keeping my promise.” Her green eyes were darkened.

Drew continued to haughtily argue in a hushed whisper with her trying to prove whatever point. I kept opening my mouth to try to shut them up, but they just kept volleying back and forth retorts to one another before I could get a word in.

I rubbed my temples, trying to focus on what our professor was debriefing instead. I didn’t expect my breakup to cause a full argument between the two people closest to me. Any other topic? Yes. Not this though.

Their voices started to raise as they used meaningless insults as jabs towards one another, causing the attention of the cadets around us to look at us. Including Zachariah and Chiara. The girl only had a smug smirk on her face, which made the impreding frustration that had been rising since I woke up grow even more.

“Silence.” Our professor yelled across the room. I slid myself down into my seat, making myself as small as possible in the crowd of infantry cadets now looking our way.

"Henricks', Lalley I didn't realize this was a socializing hour." The professor shouted mockingly. Instantly, Katia and Drew shut up, muttering coy apologies, both embarrassed they were caught.

“Now can we turn our attention back to the map.” The professor continued the lesson. I had to pinch Katia’s arm as she reached behind me to flick Drew on the side of the head. An “ow” leaving her lips as she finally stopped and actually started to take notes for class.

These two would be the death of me…

"Look I know you guys dated for years, but you had a hunch. Think of this as a celebration of a new chapter?” Katia sighed, stopping mid-route in our evening run.

"I just don't feel like doing anything extra this weekend, especially socializing." I groaned, lifting my hands and resting them on top of my head.

"Which is exactly what you need, to socialize." A mischievous glint sparkled in Katia's hazel eyes. I didn't like that glint. She had always been the rebellious one since we became friends years ago. She always got into trouble, and then I had to bail her out or succumb to her ideas. “We should definitely go to Chantara tomorrow night.”

She used any excuse to find a way to party or sneak off campus. I’m surprised I’ve upheld my titles with her as my executive squad leader with the antics she always seemed to get us into.

"This is the one weekend I'd rather just stay in my room—" I started to protest going back into a jog.

"Just humor me, Henrick." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, I'm finding the infantry dating pool rather incestuous at this point." She pointed in her mouth, making a gagging noise as she kept up her pace with me. "Anddddd Garrick and Xaden will be there and you're finally a single woman." She wagged her eyebrows at me. I just rolled my eyes at the suggestive expression on her face knowing what she was thinking.

"Fine." I huffed in the refreshing air of a late summer evening.

"Yay!" She squealed excitedly. "We're gonna have so much fun! Not to mention Garrick looked like he wanted to beat Zach's guts out before Drew stopped him; after the little spat you two had last weekend."

Garrick and Xaden…Any mingling between Riders and Infantry was frowned upon. The codex even goes as far to state there will be no toleration of inter-quadrant dating during a student’s attendance at Basgiath. But that hadn’t stopped us from becoming friends with riders. The four of us hit it off the first night we met.

I thought to myself silently as I thought back to that first night out in town during first year.

"Damn, we both clean up nice." Katia whistled.

She wasn't wrong, despite wearing our infantry winter fur-lined jackets, we looked good. We didn't have to wear our typical uniformed sleek buns, and finally could let our hair down for once. Despite the anxiety that brewed in the pit of my stomach, I was excited that my best friend had convinced me to sneak out.

I shook my head, "You're crazy, you know that right?" She linked her arm with mine, grinning maniacally in response as we left the barracks.

She led me through tunnels and stairs I’ve never been in since we started infantry a few months ago. “How do you know about this?” I asked again. She’s been rather elusive and secretive on how she even learned about Chantara, the town older Basgiath students would frequent on the weekends to drink, party, and shop at.

She pushed her brunette hair over her shoulder, shooting a wink at me. “It’s amazing what intel you can gather with incredible charm, good looks…a few gold coins.”

We reached an ancient iron gate that a couple second years were standing at. The smell of churam filled the air, making my nose scrunch up. The codex said the herb was forbidden from school property?

One of the second years grinned seeing my best friend. “Lalley, you’ve got some guts. I didn’t think you and your friend would actually show up.”

She walked up to the man, her smile alluring radiating under the dim patterns that lined the stone walls. “My promises and threats are never empty.” Reaching into her pocket, she set two gold coins down into the guy’s hand.

He handed a coin back to her, “promise me a game of darts later at Féasta?”

“Yeah, sure.” She replied coolly, her tone sultry. Though I could tell by the look in her eye, that was one promise she wouldn’t be following up on. I was ready to lose my composure, biting my lip to stifle the laugh about to fall from my lips.

His grin grew even broader. “Sweet, just follow the path through the clearing and you’ll see a fork—take the left. We just let a group of riders through not too long ago. Just follow their obnoxiously loud yelling if you’re unsure.”

She linked her arm with mine, using her free hand to wiggle her fingers at the man in goodbye. “Thanks Trey.”

She discreetly dragged me outside a reasonable distance from the gate before I burst out in giggles. “Thanks Trey?” Mocking her flirty tone.

“Listen,” she giggled lightly herself. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I’m desperate for a drink and a dance.”

“It must be so hard to be single.” I said sarcastically.

“We all can’t be fortunate to have their hometown sweetheart attend War college with us now can we?” She used her linked elbow to nudge me, causing me to shy away from her. She just pulled me closer. “You owe me the favor of being a wing woman tonight, I’ve covered for you and Zach too many times this year… and we haven’t even made it to squad assignments yet.”

“Whatever you say Kati.” I just rolled my eyes, shaking my head at her.

The walk into Chantara was brisk, as we giggled about what we should expect for our first night out of Basgiath. The town was lively, citizens of the town and students all throughout the town square browsing the market stalls that lined the cobblestone. Strings of lights glimmered lining the stalls, while musicians played on the corners. Everything was so lively to what we were expecting. There were three different taverns in the town square: Féastas, Lúchás, and Doyle’s. We decided to try Lúchás first seeing the group of riders Trey was talking about wandering in there, along with some couple infantry and healers.

“I knew I should have ordered food when I was up there because I’m starving.” My best friend said as she came back to our table with Lavender Lemonades.

The bar wasn’t crazy packed due to the cold weather, but there was a sizable amount of patrons in here. It was cozy, we had a table right next to the hearth, and I could see why most of the patrons were Basgiath students. The music from the band wasn’t ancient sounding, and the barmaids weren’t either. It was very youthful and merry than the taverns we had back home. Scanning over the decent sized room, my eyes landed on the opposite side of the room. On two riders more specifically, the one looked to be Katia’s type. Tall, tanned skin, dark hair. Though a scar marred his eye, it didn’t take away from his handsomeness. He would be perfect for her.

I did promise an attempt at being her wing woman tonight. My eyes kept lingering on the man next to him. He had an inch or two on his friend, longer dark hair that was more styled than his friend's unruly short waves. The most built man I’ve ever seen, Amari had to have designed her herself, his relic a masterpiece expertly marking his bulky biceps. I have a boyfriend…

“Huh?” I said as she was trying to get my attention, my gaze not leaving the far left corner of the room.

“For once would you not be in a daydream!” She chuckled until her gaze followed mine. “Oh wow, they’re hot.” She blurted.

"Shh, don't be that obvious," I said, slapping her shoulder while we both took in two very tall and handsome riders in their black leathers.

“Oh please like they aren’t even looking our way.” She scoffed, taking a sip of her drink.

But they were, well at least the taller one was looking directly at me as his friend tried to get his attention. And I couldn’t help to unabashedly stare back.

Garrick’s POV

“Garrick!” Xaden half raised his voice snapping his fingers at me, drawing my attention back to our usual corner of the tavern.

“What?” I peered over to my best friend.

“Were you even listening to what I said?” He acted annoyed.

‘Don't lie, you weren't.’ Chradh chuckled.

‘Are all dragons as sarcastic and grumpy as you?’ I chidded back getting only a huff of hot air as my answer. "Yeah, something about… OK yeah no."

Xaden chuckled, finally noticing what had caught my attention across the tavern floor. "You're obviously looking at the shorter infantry cadet, aren't you?” He nudged my side. “Only you would be the one to be six-six, and have a thing for extremely short girls, dude. She can’t even be more than five foot nothing dude.” He rattled off.

Xaden had a thing to point out the obvious and be rather talkative once he had a couple drinks in his system. Reminding me of his younger cousin, Bodhi, every time I had drank with him. I paid no mind to his rambling as I walked to the table the two infantry girls sat at.

“Where are you going? You don't even know if she's single." Xaden started to say as I couldn't help myself. I heard my best friend mutter a curse and his footsteps behind me.

"Could I fancy you two ladies to a friendly game of pool?" I asked the two girls. The taller one looked like she was about to speak first, but the shorter cadet with auburn hair was the first to open her mouth.

“Not even a ‘hi what’s your name?’ Typical rider fashion.” She had a brow arched in my direction, causing her best friend to giggle as she teasingly scoffed in my direction. Holding out her hand she beamed up at me. “I’m Allie, and this is Katia.”

That evening was the first night of what started the friendship of two first-year infantry cadets and two first-year rider cadets. Our friendship only grew over the last year as Drew and Zachariah started joining us. Though Drew and Zach were wary of the riders at first due to silly rivalry between the quadrants.

The next night, Katia met me outside in the alcove of the infantry courtyard like we always had since that winter in first year. The only difference was we no longer had to cough up gold coins to pay our way into town, and could go freely.

Our walk into Chantara was enjoyable as today had been the coldest day in July after our new cadets had joined us just a few weeks ago. My heart rate was almost pounding in my chest as we neared the tavern. Why was I so nervous? Yes this was my first trip into the town as a newly single woman, but that didn’t change much? It already felt like I was single by the end of first year anyway, and we’ve been to Chantara plenty of times since then.

We made our way to our usual end of the tavern where our crew usually hung out which now consisted of Drew, Katia, Xaden, Garrick, and myself. I noticed three extra bodies, two I didn't recognize at all but one had a shorter but similar build to Xaden, the second a female abou Katia’s height with short pink hair that was half shaven. Of course, Drew was shamelessly trying to flirt with her. Then there was the familiar mop of curly-haired dirty blonde 20-year-old I'd recognize anywhere.

"Sawyer!" I said excitedly, wrapping my younger cousin into a tight hug.

"Missed you too, Big Al." He chuckled. I flicked his ear at the mocking nickname.

Sawyer was all that Drew and I had left for our family. Our parents were in infantry while Sawyer's were riders and we lost all of them in an ambush on an outpost several years ago, including Katia’s; her mom a rider and father an infantry cadet. The four of us easily had become a found family of our own.

We were introduced to the other new first-year riders; the man that looked like Xaden was his younger cousin, Bodhi, and the pink haired girl was Imogen. I remember Garrick and Xaden telling us stories about them, so it already felt like I somewhat knew them. Bodhi seemed more eager to talk to us than Imogen. She stood by Sawyer and Xaden’s younger cousin a majority of the time. Even as Katia tried to compliment her hair, she offered dry responses. But everyone fell into a familiar session of banter and catching up on what's been going on for the last couple of weeks.

Throughout the night, I got lost in my thoughts. The summertime had the bar packed to the point everything was so overstimulating. The music, the loud chatter, it was too much. Why did I even come here? It was stupid to listen to Katia, I should have just stayed back in my dorm. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, but I wasn’t.

Then I saw the familiar sandy brown hair at the entrance to the tavern. Zachariah. Chiara in tow with him, as I made eye contact with my ex. His face looked as if he saw a ghost, and quickly pulled her to the other side of the bar.

“Allie, what the fuck?” Sawyer was the first to speak up.

“Yeah isn’t that your boyfriend?” Xaden offered a glare towards the shorter man across the crowded room.

“Was her boyfriend,” Katia sneered. “Two timing piece of worthless—”

“Kati.” Drew gave her a look of warning.

“I still haven’t got to fulfill my promise.” She leaned back in the booth, crossing her arms. Xaden, who sat next to her, playfully shoved the side of her head.

“Pipe down, firecracker. You’re not going to do shit.” He smirked, as she swatted his hands away.

“Riorson, it was hair washing day.” She groaned. I rolled my eyes at her dramatics. At all my friend’s dramatics actually. I didn’t want to discuss the newly ended relationship tonight or have it made a big deal. But also I certainly wasn’t expecting Zach to show up with his new girlfriend to the tavern he knew my friends frequented at.

I felt a pair of eyes glance towards me from across the table, looking over I saw Garrick looking at me. His usual hardened look was replaced by a look of concern, his hazel orbs intently focusing on me. He cocked his head towards the back door, signaling me to join him outside. I followed him towards the door, once he got up, and into the cool evening air.

I didn't realize by now that I had tears threatening to escape until Garrick pulled me into his chest and wiped a tear from my cheek.

I had been so focused on lessons and training the past couple days, I hadn’t realized how much I bottled up trying to play it off. I was upset, frustrated, and beyond done.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as my shoulders began to shake from my quiet sobs.

Garrick had always been the one that I was closest to. He always somehow caught a glimpse of the ugly side of things in my relationship and was always conveniently there to pick up the pieces when Zach would storm off.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured against my hair.

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[i-cannot-spell-chaos]

A little seasoning from the upcoming spider man fiction I'm writing

yandere Miguel o hara x spider villain mentioned male mainly gender neutral reader

These stories were cut off from the original draft and made into short stories here is Miguel o Hara's next is the platonic yandere stories. Which includes earth- 42 platonic yandere.

(Forced kissing warning)

Videos and photos story 1:

It had been a few month since you had met Miguel and Peter b. You never understood how everyone was scared of Miguel. Sure he was mean at times but you understood his cause. While fuck the agency the only reason you were there was to be a doctor. You felt like Miguel had something to hide. Since everyone had secrets of their own right?

Well one night you were called in for to Miguel's office. Walking in you expected others to be there but saw no one. Miguel must have left to go get something after calling you. You looked around for Miguel one last time before scrambling to his desk. Going through his stuff was easy it was figuring out what to look at first was the troubling part.

You clicked a random file and your face froze. You recognized the pictures and videos of yourself. You tried to think of reasons why he had them but the more you scrolled through them the more you realized. This was you but not you. A different universe where your canon event didn't happen where you never became spider man. The one where you die in the alley instead. That universe wasn't alone it was filled with different versions of you. Horror filled you as it led to pictures of your universe.

"What are you doing?" you recognized that voice your eyes still filled with dread as you looked up at him. "Uh..." The awkardness was interrupted when teen came into the room. You quickly closed the file and went to greet them. Gwen was the most excited to see you after a while. You let her stay in your home when she needed it so the two of you were close. She introduced you Miles a new Spider man. He held out his hand awkardly as you grabbed it gladly smiling, "I'm The doctor...or as they say 'Doctor Venom" but you call call me Doctor v or as everyone around you age calls me Uncle" You said smiling doing a bit of a dad pose with the hands on your hips. He replied with a tight hug.

Miguel coughed getting everyone's attention "Miles you not supposed to be in here" He said scowling at the kid. You looked at him confused before he continued "You an anomly you're not supposed to be here" this might be a good time to prepare your emergency exit. You snuck out of the room not wanting to hear anymore. However those images still stuck to you. How long had those images gone back had he been watching you for a while?

This is not Goodbye story 2:

You thrashed and tossed around Miguel's grip clawing at his hands to let you go. You wouldn't let him do this to an inoccent kid you saw Miles in you and needed to protect him. "I quit this agency!" You yell before biting down putting your venom deep into his veins. Miguel quickly dropped you gripping his hand.

It will take minutes for your venom to offcially kick in so you had a head start before he realized what you said. You quickly jumped looking around to where Miles could have run to and you saw him finally hiding. As you were about to run to him you heard Miguel.

Anxiety filled you as you turned around looking at the approaching beast. "Oh shit that's scary!" you ran for your life the sound of Miguel growing near got louder. You knew he was quicker but this had gone too far. You had gotten to a half point before the familiar webs stuck your shoe to the ground. You looked at the approaching Miguel who had drool coming out of mouth....gross.

You tried pulling your shoes out of the webbing but it would unstick. The only option left was to untye your shoelace. Halfway on undoing the not you felt breathing on your face. "Not even a goodbye kiss you little thief" His clawed hand ran through your locks before grabbing them at the roots. "You did a number on me stealing from me!" He yelled at you wiping the drool off his face. "You have no proof!" You barked back in his face causing him to grin.

"But i do my little thief" Miguel grabbed your hand leading it to his chest. You could feel his heartbeat against it. "You stole my heart and my materials i'm not letting you get away that easily even if you do quit your staying here" He said thinking he won. You used your unstuck leg and kicked his head. Miguel grabbed your leg looking at you shocked before his eyes dripped closed. His heavy form landed on you.

You looked around for help but saw no one. Your venom kicked in at the worst time.

Goodbye kiss story 3:

"Aye where are you going!" Miguel yelled at causing you to pause and look up at him. "What?" he had just sent you to a mission and he was stopping you? "You had a bet and lost to me"

He remembered?

Last week the two of you made a bet on how long they can stay a fake couple. You bet two days before Miguel got tired of it and snapped at you. Miguel said he could do it for longer and said if he won every time you left you would give him a kiss. Well he did win the bet but you though he had forgotten.

"...." You looked at him then at the door. "No! come here!" Miguel yelled at you pointing at a spot next to him. Ignoring him you ran enraging him. Peter b parker was laughing at the sight of you running so quickly. Your lab coat flying behind you running towards your mission.

"All spider people (your name) and me have unfinished buisness bring them to me unharmed" Miguel said over the intercom. The spider people stopped before looking at you confused before shrugging and going with his orders. "Fuck!" you jumped quickly towards the exit slipping through before getting grabbed.

You let out a sigh before going towards the machine to send you to a different universe. Hopping in spider byte looked at you with a sorry look. Before cancelling the machine you looked at her with a shocked face. "damn" A crowd of spider people burst through the door dragging you back to hq to Miguel who was waiting for you.

"Leave everyone" almost everyone left except for peter who couldn't stop laughing for Miguel to worry. "Come here and give me that good bye kiss". You slowly walked over to him dragging your feet for as long as possible. "You suck" you said before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Before you could get far Miguel grabbed your arm and brought you into a kiss on the lips. His lips were rough against yours as he leaned in to deepen the kiss. You struggled pushing him away before he seperated the two of you looking at you with a shit eating grin. "Loser"