#let me be absolutely clear that I am not in favor of this being a thing

[autisticchangeling]

Actually I think my hot but somewhat depressing take is that in a society this binary there is no gender-neutral clothing. There might be an extremely tiny window that you can fit that will get people to not know what gender you are when they see you, but that is extremely contingent on what your actual physical body looks like, and a lot of the time that winds up actually meaning that 50% of people read you one way and the other 50% read you the other way, rather than actual confusion.

Clothing that gets labeled as gender-neutral is often actually just relabelled men's clothing, which I believe has been raised as a problem by trans women and amab non-binary people in the past.

I'm sure there are a few small fashion brands out there trying to create things that are genuinely breaking the mould of how we generally gender clothing, but by and large I think it's not something we actually have enough of a concept of to properly recognize and exist I guess?

That's not to say that people cannot be gender nonconforming, or that clothing choices cannot be gender nonconforming. Just that even though I don't necessarily like it, almost all clothing as it exists today, at least in the societies with which I am familiar, is gendered, with the possible exception of certain specific styles of men's clothing but even those are generally adapted to fit differently when worn by women.

[static-radio-ao3]

@jegulus-microfic // february 7 // prompt: star // words: 1,416 // cw: referenced sexual content // part 1 + part 3

“So let me get this straight,” Barty says, pacing in front of the couch where Regulus is sitting with his back straight and his hands tucked between his knees. “You sucked off your ex in the bathroom, picked a fight with him because he wanted to return the favor, ended up hooking up with him and staying the night, and now you’re telling me he texted you?”

Barty ticked off every point he made, a full five fingers now held up in front of Regulus' face. Five offenses. Regulus fights to maintain eye contact but his resolve crumbles under Barty's unyielding stare. Barty Crouch Junior, a force of nature. If only he'd use his powers for good.

“That would be correct,” Regulus says after a moment of silence.

“And his name in your phone is do not fucking respond.”

“That would also be correct.”

“And what did you do?”

“I responded.” Regulus at least has the decency to hang his head in shame. He remembers how long it took his friends to piece him back together in the aftermath of Hurricane James.

Barty sighs, bone-deep and long-suffering. He pinches the bridge of his nose before dropping his hand and turning to face Regulus again. “Follow-up question: were you dropped on your head as an infant?”

Regulus perks up at that, because “Well—”

“Don’t answer that,” Barty says, voice clipped. “God, Regulus. Gold star for being a fucking idiot.”

“In my defense,” Regulus starts. He doesn't continue though. Lets the silence stretch until there is no give anymore. Barty cocks an impatient eyebrow. “He looked really good,” Regulus finishes lamely. A red flush crawls up his neck and Regulus is sure it makes the mottled bites and bruises on his skin stand out even more.

Barty stops pacing to shoot Regulus an incredulous look. “That’s such a bad excuse? He always looks good? If you’re gonna be dropping to your knees as soon as he's within a two-mile radius, just— don’t.”

“But—”

And really, Regulus isn’t sure why he’s about to argue. He absolutely should be kept away from James at all times and he’d been so good at it for a while, but then. Well. Before he gets a chance to argue though, Barty cuts him off again.

“Don't make me call Pandora. She will bring the list.”

That does shut Regulus up. A huge file with an annotated bibliography and an itemized list of why Regulus should stay away from James. They had used it against him before and it worked every time. This time though, he didn’t want his weaknesses pointed out to him just yet.

“Fine. I won't talk to James anymore.”

---

“And then you have the fucking audacity to text me?” Regulus asks, incredulity bleeding into his voice. James seems unbothered by it though, hip cocked against the kitchen counter and arms crossed over his chest.

“Would you rather I call you?” He asks.

Regulus whirls on him. “No! I'd rather you not reach out to me at all!”

“See, once again, I am finding that hard to believe.” James pushes himself off the counter and steps closer to Regulus. “Did celibacy make a liar out of you? Or did I fuck you so good you forgot all the things you said last night?” He keeps his voice low as he says it, but Regulus hears it loud and clear. He shifts under James’ sharp gaze. Eyes lazily tracking the way Regulus moves.

“I'm not fucking lying. Last night was a mistake,” Regulus lies. Because that’s what he does now. Apparently.

“Technically two,” James says. He bites his bottom lip thoughtfully, eyes stuck on one of the many bruises littering Regulus’ neck.

Regulus doesn’t need the reminder, he can feel the bites and bruises sting with every turn of his head. Hands pressed palm to palm and the two of them chest to chest. A leg between Regulus’ own and his voice so wrecked he didn’t realize it was his at first. James, softened by the low light in the room, all his sharp edges blurring into pleasure. The hum of a moan into the heated skin of his neck.

“Technically three,” Regulus murmurs, eyes getting hazy, but he catches himself a second later, straightening. “But that's not what we're talking about!”

“Isn’t it?” James cocks his head. A lazy smirk pulls at James’ lips. The sight makes something simmer hot in Regulus’ gut. “We seem awful good at making mistakes. Maybe they're not mistakes at all.”

“All of this was a mistake! From the beginning! We shouldn't have hooked up and we shouldn't have dated and none of this should've fucking happened. Not last night, not last year, none of it.” Regulus takes a heaving breath. Considers saying more, but then James cuts in with:

“Are you done?”

“What?”

“I asked if you were done.”

“I— Yeah. I guess.”

James takes a step closer again, boxing Regulus in against the table. He presses his palms down on the flat surface, one on each side of Regulus’ hips. He has to look up a bit to be able to look James in the eye when they’re this close. He always liked it.

“You know what, that would've hurt my feelings if I believed you. Although I guess I do think this was a mistake. In a way.”

The feeling of James’ breath hitting the side of his neck makes Regulus shiver. James dips down for the barest, briefest moment and drags his lips along the column of Regulus’ neck, tracing the path he laid out the night before. It takes Regulus a second to realize what James just said, too caught up in his closeness to register the words. He isn't prepared for the way that statement makes him feel, a sharp pang in his chest and a dull ache all the way down his fingertips. He curls them into fists, keeps them resolutely in his lap. But before he has a chance to react, James continues.

“See, I think we never should've broken up. Mistake number one.” James takes the smallest of steps backward just to be able to raise his pointer finger. Regulus misses the heat instantly. “And I think you shouldn't have left this morning. Mistake number two.” He raises a second finger. “And you know what they say about mistakes.”

He glances at Regulus thoughtfully, waiting for him to fill in the blanks.

“Don't fucking make them?” Regulus asks.

“All good mistakes come in threes,” James corrects, a third finger now being held up.

“No one says that.”

“Maybe they should.”

“No, James,” Regulus shakes his head and leans back, putting some distance between himself and James. Or trying to, at least. “This is a bad idea and we both know it.”

James just leans into him more. Regulus goes a little cross-eyed trying to maintain eye contact. His focus is drawn to James’ lips instead. He remembers them pink and bitten. Stretched wide, spit clicking the corners.

“Come on, baby,” James hedges. “No more mistakes. Just me and you. And I'll be so good for you, good to you, I swear.”

His voice is molten honey, hot and sweet, and it sticks to Regulus’ skin like a physical thing.

And Regulus only has so much resolve. He unclenches his fists, allowing himself to reach out and touch. But the smooth fabric of James’ sweater is a poor substitute for the thing he really craves. It buzzes in his veins, a steady hum that's getting increasingly harder to ignore. There is no alcohol in his system to blur the lines he'd once drawn, he steps over them with his eyes wide open.

“You're addicting, you know that?” Regulus murmurs, mouth a few scant inches from James’. “Just can't fucking quit you. You and your Jamesness.”

Before James can reply, Regulus curls a hand over James’ throat and tugs him into a kiss. The buzzing in his veins quiets immediately, satisfaction rushing through them instead. It’s heady, kissing James again, even though it’s only been a couple of hours since their last kiss. James really is addicting. And Regulus is a weak, weak man.

---

is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me [group • 4 members]

reg: hey guys....

evan: you're an embarrassment

barty: @panda send the fuckinf list

pandora: reasons why regulus should keep his dick in his pants and out of his ex [file type: PDF • 53 pages]

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Genshin girls: Dehya, noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Kujou Sara. Ayaka And Yae Miko

Reacting to S/O’s mom leaning close to S/O and not so quietly asking when she should she expect grandchildren

(Genshin Impact) Dehya, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Sara, Ayaka, and Yae being asked THAT question by S/O's parents

(Source: Yuushibadesu on twitter)

Dehya laughed at the question and S/O's reaction, as they hurriedly tried to shush their mother.

(Dehya) "Hm...I'll just get back to you on that one!"

However, she does start thinking about it after the dinner.

Kids? She had so much to do to truly live up to the legend of the Lion, and having a kid was not on the agenda.

Dehya isn't sure she's ready for kids anytime soon, or if she would ever be. But, always time later to think about that, right?

(Noelle) "Kids?!"

Noelle is way too young to be thinking about that!

She's just as flustered as S/O, watching the mother only laugh at their reactions.

(Noelle) "I'm far too busy, ma'am! I have to be accepted into the Knights of Favonius, and then there'll be so much to do afterwards!"

It's a topic she shoves into the back of her mind. Kids are the furthest thing from her agenda of things to do.

...Well, at least S/O's mother approved of her.

Eula almost chokes on her food upon hearing the question.

(Eula) "A-Ah...kids?"

She tries to recollect herself and clears her throat.

(Eula) "I am glad you approve of me that much, ma'am but...Kids are not in my foreseeable future. I have many responsibilities to attend to as a Knight of Favonius."

Though honestly, she's using her position as an excuse not to talk about it.

First she'd have to get the approval of Mondstadt so her kid wouldn't get bullied, which would be impossible.

But, the hurdle of the parents approving of her was passed it seemed.

(Shenhe) "Grandchildren?"

Funnily enough, Cloud Retainer had asked the same thing when Shenhe brought S/O to meet her.

And she still has the same answer.

(Shenhe) "I do not know."

She's not entirely opposed, but not in favor either.

Before anything else, Shenhe wants to feel emotions without the red string inhibiting her violent impulses.

Kids can come later.

That does not stop S/O's mother, or Cloud Retainer from asking constantly, however.

Sara completely halts when she processes what S/O's mother had said.

(Sara) "G-Grandchildren...?!"

Her professional air is shattered for the briefest moment before responding.

(Sara) "Until Inazuma is fully stabilized, I'm afraid children is out of the question. I would like them to be raised when we can all rest easy, ma'am."

Sara is a little flustered, but she meant what she said.

Until everyone's safe, there can be no rest.

...She did wonder how much of her Youkai blood would be part of their child, however.

Ayaka spits out her drink and coughs violently, being completely taken off guard.

(Ayaka) "A-Ah, please forgive the mess!" COUGH "i-I was not ready for such a question!"

Ayaka apologizes profusely while her cheeks did their best impression of a tomato.

She barely had time for herself, let alone S/O! The last thing she wanted to do was neglect their own child!

For now? Kids are absolutely out of the question.

(Yae) "Hm, that is a rather good question S/O. When are we having kids?"

Yae gives a dangerous and teasing smile to S/O, tilting her head and enjoying the reaction of their pride dying on the inside.

In all fairness, Yae doesn't particularly care for children at this very moment.

It would add excitement to her life to be sure, but there were...more serious matters when it came to that question.

Such as Yae herself outliving S/O. Would their child live as long as her, or would she outlive them too?

Regardless, that was not the topic to bring up at a family dinner, so she lets those thoughts go unsaid.

[burntheedges]

Maintenance Request Chapter 18

Joel Miller x f!reader | new chapter every Friday 18+ | ao3 | main post & chapter list chapter word count: 3.3k

chapter summary: Back to work (and all the promises you and Joel made on that phone call).

a/n: thank you as always to @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta 💕 posting a bit early today for secret reasons 👀 check back at 11 for more 👀

chapter tags/warnings: flirting, banter, fluff, cursing, food and drink mention, pet names (honey, gorgeous, darlin’, baby, sweetheart, good girl, handsome, cowboy), reader can wink (author cannot lmao), semi-public sex, kissing, oral (m!receiving), dirty talk, fingering (f!receiving), reader straddles Joel's lap

Chapter 18

Monday, November 4 Eleventh week of the semester

On Monday, you were almost vibrating on your way into work.

You’d talked to Joel again on Sunday, but all that had done was get you keyed up for your impending reunion. You couldn’t stop thinking about his promises – his hands, his cock, and everything else – and your office. You knew actually doing anything there was risky, but the idea had consumed you since your call on Saturday night.

As you walked across the quad to your building, your phone vibrated in your pocket, surprising you.

Joel (8:53 AM): See you soon, gorgeous.

You smiled. You were pretty sure he was in the same boat as you, drowning in anticipation.

you (8:54 AM): can’t wait 💕

Perhaps as a favor to you, the morning actually flew by. Before you knew it you were pacing awkwardly in front of your desk again as you waited for Joel to knock on your door.

You couldn’t get your mind off the images he’d put there, wondering if you would rush to come together as soon as the door opened, or actually manage to eat lunch first. 

And then he knocked.

At your call to come in, Joel stepped into your office and then froze. For a moment the two of you only stared at each other. He looked good. Rather than the typical flannel, he was wearing a navy blue button up that made his shoulders look even broader than normal. Your eyes traced them, lingering, before darting back up to meet his gaze.

You managed a strangled, “hi,” and it seemed to kickstart Joel into action. He took a swift step inside before turning and locking the door behind him. 

“Hey there, gorgeous,” his voice rumbled out of him, register low and smooth, as he turned back to face you. His whole body looked tense.

You were both still, staring at each other, and then very suddenly, you weren’t.

“Fuck,” the expletive fell from Joel’s lips like prayer. He took two large steps towards you and before you knew it you were in his arms, pressed back against your desk. “I missed you so goddamn much, honey.” His arms had snaked around your back and tightened, pulling you in close to his chest. You buried your fingers in his hair as he gently pressed his forehead against yours. Drawing in a deep breath, you replied, “missed you too, Joel.” 

“Been thinkin’ about this since Friday, honey.” And with no further prompting, Joel leaned to press his lips to yours. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, the night before, you’d wondered if you should be worried how much you craved this. Craved his lips against your own, his arms around your body, the tease of his tongue against your bottom lip. 

Feeling it all again, you decided you’d be a fool not to crave it.

You opened your mouth to his kiss and together you skipped right over slow and gentle. It was hot and intense and everything you’d wanted for days.

“Joel–” you moaned, and he shushed you as he pressed kisses down your neck. “Shhh, honey, let me take care of you.” That sounded heavenly, but it also reminded you of exactly how you wanted this to go. You shook your head slowly to clear it as he worried a new mark at your collarbone, replacing the ones that had faded.

“That’s not what–” you sighed. “You know what I want, Joel.”

To your absolute delight, you felt him shiver in response. He dropped his forehead to rest against your shoulder. “Yeah?” You could hear how much he liked the idea.

“Yes, Joel. Sit down.” He shivered again and you smiled, nudging him gently backwards until he fell into one of the armchairs in front of your desk.

He looked up at you with dark eyes. You took a step forward and, eyes locked on his, sank slowly to your knees. He swallowed, hard.

“Been thinking about this,” you murmured, reaching forward to undo the button of his jeans. His hands came to rest on the arms of the chair and he dug his fingers in until the tips turned white. 

“Darlin’, you got no idea how much I’ve been thinkin’ about this,” he replied, lifting his hips to give you room to pull down his jeans. You could see his hard cock straining against the front of his briefs.

You licked your bottom lip as you looked at it, and you heard Joel’s breath catch. You grinned.

“Can I kiss you, handsome?” you winked at him as you called back your first night together, and he laughed, breathless. 

“Honey, you can kiss me wherever you’d like. Consider it an open invitation.” He picked up his right hand and gently, so gently it made your breath catch, trailed his fingertips across your cheek. You turned to press a kiss to them and he grinned. “Just like that.”

You laughed and kissed his fingers again. He moved his hand back to cup the back of your neck and tug you forward, and you grinned as you allowed it.

“Eager, hmm?” You teased him as you slid your hands up his thighs, reveling in the muscle you could feel flexing under your fingertips. You moved forwards until you were right between his thighs, hands resting on his briefs. You looked up to meet his eyes before leaning forward to press a soft kiss against his cock, still covered and bulging under black fabric. You watched as his eyelids fluttered but didn’t close.

“Fuck, honey, ‘course I am,” he groaned. You grinned and tucked your fingers under the waistband of his briefs, lifting them over the head of his cock. As soon as you revealed it, you leaned down to press a soft kiss to the head, already red and swollen. You let your tongue slip out to press against the tip where a tiny bead of precome was waiting for you. Joel groaned out your name.

“Please, baby, just like that. Let me see that pretty mouth on my cock.” He sucked in a breath as you tugged his briefs down, letting his cock spring free. “Been dreamin’ about your mouth, ever since you told me you wanted this.”

With his left hand Joel tugged up the hem of his shirt, giving you plenty of room to work. You placed your own left hand on his hip and used your right to grip the base of his cock, bringing the head up to your lips. You locked eyes with him as you opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue.

“Look at you,” he sounded breathless. “That’s my good girl. Let me see my cock on your tongue, baby.”

You pulled on his cock with your right hand, gliding your fist upwards as you let the head come to rest on your tongue. The salty, smooth taste of him almost made you moan. For a moment you stayed there, eyes locked on Joel’s as he stared back at you. And then you smirked, as much as you could like that, and you watched Joel’s eyes roll backwards as you closed your mouth around the head of his cock.

The taste of him and the stretch of your mouth around him were delicious. Your own eyes fell closed as you took him deeper into your mouth. You teased along the bottom of his cock with your tongue, wetting his soft skin, and you felt his grip tighten on the back of your neck in response.

“Fuck, baby, you–” he trailed off on a sigh as you started to move your hand, working in the same rhythm as your mouth. You hummed, loving the effect you were having on this man who could so easily reduce you to a quivering mess with just his voice. You felt more than heard him take a deep breath. “Look at you, honey.” His voice was deeper, rougher than you’d ever heard it. You felt its effect starting to pool in your underwear. You looked up as you moved your mouth down, deeper this time, teasing the head of his cock towards the back of your throat. Joel’s mouth was hanging open and he was panting as he watched you. The hand not wrapped around your neck was grasping at the arm of his chair.

As you slid the head of his cock out of your mouth, you flattened your tongue along the underside and made a show of the tip resting there before taking him in again.

Joel grunted as his hips thrust forward. “Shit, sorry, honey–” You cut him off with a firm grip to his hip. He blinked at you as you tugged his hip. “No, baby, I’m too big, I–”

You sucked in a breath as you pulled off of his cock. “I want you to, Joel. I can do it.”

He slowly let go of the arm of the chair and moved his hand to grip your chin. He rubbed his thumb along your bottom lip before using his grip to pull your mouth open. He grinned, slow and wicked, and stood slowly from the chair. You rose up on your knees to follow him.

“‘Course you can. You are my good girl, right?” You nodded, mouth open in his hand. “Well, I did tell you, I’ll give you whatever you want.”

As the words left his mouth he thrusted his hips forward, guiding his cock into your open mouth. You let your jaw relax and welcomed him in.

Soon you found your rhythm again, letting his cock slide in and out of your mouth on his shallow thrusts, your hand joining in and squeezing him at the root. You moaned and you felt Joel shudder in response. Every stroke sent spikes of sensation into your core, shooting down your spine. 

“Knew you could take it like this, honey.” Joel thrust just a little bit deeper on his next stroke and you both moaned. “Can’t believe this pretty little mouth is all mine. So perfect for me, just perfect on my cock, baby.” 

You tightened your grip around his cock and felt him suck in a breath in response. “Shit,” he breathed, eyes wide. “Fuck, that’s so fuckin’ good.” You rubbed your thighs together, loving how obviously affected he was by what you were doing. As you moved your mouth over him again, you sucked lightly and almost smiled, as much as you could, at the moan he gave you in response. 

Joel smoothed his thumb gently under your eye, prompting you to look up and meet his gaze. He held your gaze with his own as he moaned on his next thrust. You realized you’d let your hand fall slack, and you tightened it again, moving it in time with your tongue and his thrusts. His hips stuttered in response.

“Fuck, honey, I’m close. Where do you– where should I–” You closed your grip on his hip again and tugged him forwards. “Inside?” You hummed, closing your eyes, and he groaned. 

His hips somehow thrust even faster, and you tried to keep up with your hand and your tongue and your mouth. When you heard him start to say your name, you pushed against his grip and took him even deeper, letting the tip of his cock kiss the back of your throat. You hollowed your mouth around him and sucked.

Joel came, hard.

“Fuck, fuck. That’s– fuck.” You felt him come down the back of your throat and you swallowed, just in time. His body curled over you and you felt him brace himself against the edge of the desk behind you with his free hand. After a moment he used his grip on your neck to ease you backwards and you realized your own chest was heaving. Your eyes fluttered open and you met his gaze – he looked wrecked, and you were sure you did, too.

After a moment of simply gazing at each other Joel tugged you forward again, sinking back into the chair and guiding you to follow. Fighting against your loose limbs, you moved where he pulled you, settling into his lap. Joel immediately let his forehead drop to rest against your chest, pressing a gentle kiss to your shirt. You smiled. 

On his next exhale, he murmured, “that was so fuckin’ good, sweetheart. Fuck.” You grinned. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, honey. Fuck. Your fuckin’ mouth.” He sounded awestruck, and it made you laugh, a little stunned. 

“Hmmm,” he hummed, moving his hand around to cup you. “Don’t think I forgot about you, though.”

“Joel–”

“That’s right, sweetheart. Let me take care of you, now.” With no hesitation, Joel slipped his fingers into your pants, seeking your core. As his fingertips brushed against your slit he chuckled.

“You are soaked, honey. S’this all for me?” You nodded, hiding your face in his neck. “No, no hidin’, baby.” He gently pushed you backwards with his left hand until he could catch your gaze. You felt your cheeks burning. “No reason to hide. Ain’t nothin’ better than knowin’ this pussy is wet for me.” You whined in response, and he grinned. “That’s right, honey. It is all for me.”

Joel pulled you into a searing kiss as two of his fingers slipped inside of you, surprising you into a moan. He swallowed it down and curled his fingers on the next thrust. As his fingers found their rhythm inside of you, his tongue danced along your bottom lip and you opened for him, letting him deepen the kiss.

You started to thrust your hips forward, and Joel responded by tucking his thumb up against your clit, gently moving in circles around it in time with your hips. 

Your next inhale sounded like a sob.

Joel broke away and soothed you with his free hand, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. “Shhh, honey, let me help you,” he murmured, pressing kisses down your neck. “That’s my good girl, right? Letting me take care of you.”

“So fucking good, Joel,” you managed to sigh out, and you felt him smile against your neck. 

“That’s what we are together, baby. So fucking good.” You smiled and nodded.

You felt your orgasm starting to draw down your spine. You swayed a little in his lap and he steadied you with an arm around your waist. 

“Let me see it, gorgeous,” he sucked a mark onto your shoulder, just to the side of your neck. “Let me see how you come. Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, honey, let me see it again. So fucking gorgeous when you come for me, baby.” Joel bit down on your neck, and you felt the wave come rushing back towards you, cresting up your spine and whiting out everything around you.

You might have moaned his name as you came, but you couldn’t be sure. You must have said something because you came back to yourself and realized his hand was clamped over your mouth. You blinked. 

“You got a little loud there at the end, sweetheart.” You could hear his smile in his voice. You blinked again and realized you were still in your fucking office.

He must have felt you stiffen at the realization because he pulled back to look at you and grinned. “Yeah, honey, still here.” You shook your head and groaned.

You sank down against him and he pulled you into his arms in a tight embrace. You both just breathed each other in, resting against each other as you came down. 

“Can’t believe I forgot where we were,” you whispered, and he chuckled. 

“S’alright, honey, I almost did, too. Was pretty close to forgetting my own name when your mouth was on my cock.”

You pressed a kiss to his neck and smiled. “I know we can’t do this everyday, Joel, but damn.”

He nodded. “Yeah, we’d definitely get sloppy and get caught, probably.”

You snorted, and managed, “already pretty sloppy over here, cowboy.” He huffed a laugh and squeezed one of your ass cheeks in his palm. 

“That’s the way I like it.”

You nuzzled your nose into his neck, and let yourself relax into his embrace. For a moment, neither of you moved, but you could almost feel Joel thinking hard about something. You nudged him gently, encouraging him. 

“Sarah told me I couldn’t stop talking about you and it was embarrassin’, this weekend.” You blinked at the apparent non sequitur. “I didn’t tell her that if it were my choice, I’d have talked about you even more. I was tonin’ it down.”

You laughed. “You have that much to say about me, hmm?” 

He tilted his head down and nudged his forehead against yours. “Course I do, sweetheart.” He paused, but it didn’t seem like he was finished.

“What?” He sighed. “Joel, what is it?”

A knock at the door interrupted and startled you both. You shoved yourself to a standing position and quickly pulled your clothes into position, smoothing them into place. You eyed Joel to make sure he was decent. He nodded, but reached out to fiddle with your collar for a moment before sitting in one of the chairs in front of your desk. You took a deep breath before opening the door.

To your displeasure, Trevor was standing on the other side.

“Oh, hi Trevor,” you could hear the irritation in your voice and tried to tamp it down. “What did you need?”

He eyed you, and then looked past you. The sight of Joel apparently surprised him because his eyebrows rose and he took a step back. Then his face twisted into his familiar scowl.

“Another maintenance request? What have you been doing to your office?”

You sighed and tried not to roll your eyes. “We’re just having lunch, Trevor. If you don't need anything I’ll see you at the meeting in a few minutes.”

For a moment he didn’t move, gaze bouncing back and forth between you and Joel. 

“Er, no. Not as such. I’ll see you there. Don’t be late.” As always his tone grated against your nerves, and after you’d closed the door again you locked it and gave in to the desire to roll your eyes.

You turned around to find Joel grinning at you.

“What?” You studied him, confused.

“Sarah told me about your nickname for him.” You felt the heat rise in your cheeks again and you sighed. 

“Sorry, I–”

“No, darlin’, I like it. It was funny. You can’t do worse than Tommy with the swearin’, anyway, and besides,” he shrugged. “He really is a prick.”

You laughed and shook your head. You stepped closer to Joel again and rested your hands on his shoulders as his own came to grasp your hips. 

“What did you want to tell me?” you asked, recalling his hesitation from a moment before. 

Joel cleared his throat, looking up at you. “Um, right. I know we haven’t talked about it yet, but I have to tell you – this weekend, when my family asked about you. I called you my girlfriend without thinking about it. Is that– um, is that alright?”

You grinned at him. “Joel, that is more than alright.” You leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, before pulling away to catch his eye again. 

“As long as I can call you my boyfriend.” Joel grinned so wide you watched the crinkles form and deepen in the corners of his eyes. 

“Well I do like the sound of that, sweetheart,” he murmured as he pulled you down for another kiss. 

…

you (5:32 PM): so uh (5:33 PM): you know how I said I wouldn’t have sex in my office

bestie (5:34 PM): no FUCKING way (5:35 PM): I am calling you in 30 seconds and if you don’t answer I am driving to your apartment (5:35 PM): !!!

you (5:36 PM): 🙄

...

a/n: it's official! and so is the office sex. lmao see you next Friday!

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tag list: @harriedandharassed @jupiter-soups @ilovepedro @auteurdelabre @anoverwhelmingdin

@myloveistoolittle @iknowisoundcrazy @beezusvreeland @screechingphantommaker @bigboiseason123

@joelalorian @untamedheart81 @ashleyfilm @jessthebaker @jeewrites

@fluffygoffpanda @paleidiot @mithicakurogo @theclairvoyage @lizzie-cakes

@islacharlotte @syd-djarin @copperhalfcent @vabeachazn @spacedoutdaydreamer

@littlevenicebitch69 @secretelephanttattoo

[mysteryshoptls]

Dire Crowley Common Lines

Level Up 1: There is never enough knowledge to glean.

Level Up 2: Fufu, my countenance has changed completely, don't you think?

Level Up 3: Superb! I feel so young again!

Level Up (Max): Whew～ Now this is alarming. Is it really alright for the Headmage of such a prestigious academy to grow even more powerful～?

Episode Level Up: You truly are a forthright and capable student. Incidentally, I do have a backlog of paperwork that needs doing, if you'd like to boost your grades a little more... Ah, wait, that was merely in jest! Ha ha ha!

Magic Level Up: The potential that magic brings is limitless. When you're someone of my caliber, even the most tedious work can be cleared up quickly with magic, like so!

Friendship Level Up: I don’t quite mind being so beloved by my students. I shall whole-heartedly accept your adoration, so please, keep it up for as much as your heart desires.

Friendship level Up (Max): I cannot just let you host and not return the favor. After all, I am so bountiful in my generosity! Please come by my office sometime. I shall treat you in grand fashion!

Limit Break: I am constantly grateful for your hard work. For as much as you put your trust in me, I will also not let you down.

Groovy: I am absolutely overflowing with energy! Oh yes, I should prepare travel plans for my next vacation while I have the time!

Lesson Select 1: As the Headmage, I must affirm the degree of difficulty of each lesson.

Lesson Select 2: Ah, is this the correct course? I don't ordinarily glance at the class schedules at all.

Lesson Select 3: Homework...? Um, one moment, do you mean to say I will be assigned some as well?

Lesson Start: The class bell has rung, hurry along now!

Lesson Finish: I see... That was a spectacular lesson!

Battle Start: Time for the Headmage’s Special Class.

Battle Win: I look forward to your continued development.

[jennaispunk]

Just Another Saturday Night....

Note: Happy Valentine's Day Ali @pedgito. I'm your Space Sisters secret Valentine!!! I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: Javi invites himself to help you babysit for Steve and Connie on Valentine's Day. What happens between you is completely unexpected.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Warnings/Tags: fluff, sexual tension, kissing, touching, Valentine's Day, friends to lovers, language (Javi, who else?), brief smoking, brief alcohol consumption, mutual pining, no significant age gap, brief use of Spanish, Javi and reader work in the same building but aren't co-workers. Reader understands Spanish, Reader is shorter than Javi and has hair long enough to tuck behind her ear, no other physical description of reader is given. The photos in the moodboard are for aesthetic only.

Word Count: ~5.5k

Other notes: This is my first published fic so please be nice! I am beyond nervous about putting this out there.

Special Thanks to @sawymredfox for the amazing moodboard, @beefrobeefcal for your advice, and @fallingforthearch for beta reading and squealing about this with me.

Divider by @saradika-graphics

It seemed everyone in this damn building was talking about their plans for Valentines Day. Everyone except for you. Today was just a normal Thursday. You shook your head, trying to clear your mind as you made your way through the bustle of the DEA headquarters. There was no use in giving it any more thought. Love was overrated anyway, right? You dropped off some paperwork to the director’s secretary and headed back to your own desk in the Embassy. The clacking keys of typewriters and sharp ringing of telephones hummed around you as you crossed the room, and you narrowly avoided a collision with an agent with his head stuck in file.  The sound of your name being called across the bullpen made you stop in your tracks.

You scanned the room to see Steve Murphy, smiling at you from his office door. You smiled warmly in return and made your way over to him. Steve and his wife Connie had welcomed you with open arms when you first arrived in Colombia. They had taken you under their wing and the three of you had become close over the last 6 months, frequently sharing dinners at their apartment with their adopted daughter, Olivia, and occasionally Steve’s partner, Javier Peña.

Javi….he was always an enigma to you. He was handsome and a shameless flirt. He was quick with a line and a smile, and he used it to his advantage. There wasn’t a woman that worked in this building that hadn’t been subjected to his charms, and you were no exception. Of course, you had a thing for him. How could you not, with his aquiline nose and pouty lips that just begged to be kissed.  You’d spent enough time with him to know him pretty well, but he held you at arm’s length, never letting you get too close. He seemed content to keep it that way and you let him. It’s not like you actually had a chance with him anyway.

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” You studied him as he grinned at you in that goofy way he always did. That smile reminded you of your brother and it made you miss him. Maybe you should call him and check in.

“I need a huge favor.” he asked with a soft smile.

You groaned softly. You hoped Connie wasn’t trying to set you up on another blind date. The last one was an absolute disaster.

“I don’t like the sound of this.” Your eyes narrowed. “What did you do this time?”

He chuckled and crossed his arms across his chest. “I didn’t do anything. I need a babysitter on Saturday. I was able to score reservations at that new restaurant downtown for Valentine’s Day. Connie’s been dying to try it since they opened, and I thought that it would be a nice surprise for her.”

You chuckled softly. “And you thought that your little spinster friend would be free on the most romantic night of the year?”

“You just haven’t mentioned any one special lately, so I thought you’d be free.” He cocked his head. “Why are you calling yourself a spinster, anyway? You’re gorgeous.”

The familiar combination of cigarette smoke and aftershave hit your nostrils before you saw him, and your breath hitched. Steve’s eyes darted over your shoulder, and you followed his gaze. “Ain’t that right, Javi?” The turquoise button-down shirt and tight dark wash jeans accentuated his biceps and his cinched waist. Javi appraised you, arching his brow and quickly raking up and down your body. “Sure, you’re at least a 7, princess.” He teased in the way only he could, flashing you that grin that made your knees weak. Your hands curled into fists at your sides.

Princess. That word single handedly made your blood boil and your stomach flip at the same time.

“Thanks, Javi.” you shot back, rolling your eyes.  He moved closer to Steve’s office door, crowding you with his broad frame. “What are you two talking about anyway?”

“I’m trying to get our friend here to babysit for me and Connie on Saturday.” Steve grinned, his puppy dog eyes staring you down.

“I’ll babysit for you.” You said. “I’d love to spend some time with Olivia.”

Javi wasted no time and butted in. This was his chance to get you alone and he was going to take it.

Javi smiled, his eyes dancing. “Why don’t I join you? I don’t have any plans for V-day either. What’d ya say, princess? Want some company for babysitting duty?”

Your words failed you and you just looked at him, your eyes wide.  His chocolate chip eyes stared down at you, waiting for you to speak.

“Ummm….” You stammered, your nails digging into your palms. “Sure. Why not?”

He gave you a crooked grin and nothing else.

“What time do you need me?” Your head swiveled back to Steve.

“Six o’clock?”

“I’ll be there.” You flashed a quick smile and turned on your heels.

“See ya then, princess.” Javi shouted to your retreating form.

You knocked on the apartment door at 5:50 pm, tapping your foot rhythmically as you wait. Olivia’s laughter seeped through the door and the tension drained from your shoulders. Connie’s smiling face greeted you a moment later. “Thank you so much for watching Liv for us.”

“It’s no problem at all. You know I love spending time with her.” You smiled warmly at her and walked over to the couch, making yourself comfortable. “You look amazing, by the way. You’re going to have to let me borrow that dress sometime.”

Steve came around the corner bouncing Olivia in his arms while she laughed. The sight made your chest tighten. “Look who’s here, Liv.” The little girl gave you the biggest smile and you stood to take her from her father’s arms.

“We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight, huh?”

Olivia giggled and grabbed for your necklace.

You and Connie chatted idly, while Steve headed into the kitchen. A knock on the door interrupted the conversation.

“Hey, Javi!” Steve ushered him into the living room.

Javi’s eyes settled on you, his hands clenching into fists then relaxing. His chin jutted forward almost imperceptibly. Even in a simple T-shirt and jeans, you still managed to make him want you even though he knew he shouldn’t.

Why did he have to wear that plaid shirt? You thought to yourself as he sat down in the armchair adjacent to the couch. The red and white plaid shirt stretched across the broad expanse of his shoulders. Your heart began to beat a little bit faster, and you bit the inside of your cheek.

“Babe…. we’d better head out or we’re going to be late.” Connie stood and you watched as Steve helped Connie with her coat. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. You sighed quietly and looked away.

“Have a great time.” You take Olivia’s hand to wave at her parents. “Bye Mommy and Daddy.”

Connie leaned down and kissed Olivia’s cheek. “Be good for your Auntie and Uncle.” She looked at you. “Call us if you need anything.”

“There’s beer in the fridge.” Steve said, his eyes darting between you and Javi. “You two behave yourselves. That’s a brand-new couch you’re sitting on.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

The click of the door latching echoed in your ears, making you painfully aware of the fact you and Javi were alone. The television droned in the background as the two of you looked at each other.

“I…” you both start. The sound of your combined nervous laughter made Olivia join in with her own forced laugh, breaking some of the awkward tension that had been building between you. Your eyes snap back to Javi as he clears his throat.

“You first.” His lips lift into a crooked grin.

“I was just going to say that I’m surprised that you were serious about babysitting with me tonight. I thought you’d have a hot date tonight.” He hadn’t mentioned that he had been seeing anyone lately, but maybe he was just keeping it quiet for now.

His throaty chuckle filled your ears. “Why would I want to shell out big bucks on Valentine’s Day when I get to have two pretty girls all to myself tonight?” He teased. His trademark smirk flashed across his face, but his eyes betrayed him with a softness that made the blood rush directly to your cheeks. His eyes flitted away from yours.

You opened your mouth to ask him what he was about to say but Olivia had other plans. She grabbed at your shirt and let out a whine. You realized she was probably hungry. Connie had told you she’d prepared Liv’s dinner and put it in the fridge. “You hungry, bug?” Her babbles confirmed your suspicions, and you sat her on the floor in front of her toys while you warmed up her dinner.

Although the night had started awkwardly, you and Javi settled into comfortable conversation. The pizza he’d ordered had just been delivered and you put Olivia in her highchair with her own dinner in front of her.

“The pizza here is good.” You told him as he took a bite of his slice, “but it’s got nothing on the pizza back home.”

His brow arched. “Oh yeah?”

You never talked about your home much. The subject never really came up in conversation between the two of you.

“Yeah.” You said with a smirk. “There’s this small pizza joint there…. It’s the best pizza in the world. I would fight anyone on that.”

The sound of his chuckle reverberated through your entire body and his eyes settled on you. “That’s pretty big talk, maybe I’ll have to try it sometime.” He finished his slice and wiped his hands on a napkin. “Anything else special about your hometown?”

You told him more about your hometown, and he told you about Laredo as you finished eating. Olivia, never one to sit still for long, voiced her impatience and you lifted her from her highchair.

“I’ll clean up.” he volunteered, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“Don’t look so surprised.” he smirked.

You laughed and adjusted Olivia on your hip. “If you insist. Liv and I will be playing in the living room.”

You spread some toys out on the living room floor and sat Olivia down. You stretched out on the floor, stacking some blocks in a pyramid. Olivia babbled and knocked them down, causing you to laugh softly. The sound of his footsteps made you both look up at him. Olivia grabbed a block and held it out to him. “You want Uncle Javi to play? Say ‘Come play with me, Uncle Javi’” Your eyes drifted up to meet his, your eyes twinkling at the double meaning behind those words.

Javi’s hands immediately went to his hips, his left knee jutting out slightly. His eyes darkened as his tongue pressed against his cheek. His eyes darted to the floor then back at you. You smirked as he turned away, your confidence soaring at the fact that you’d managed to rattle him, even if it was only a little. “Maybe Uncle Javi needs a minute.”

Javi stood with his back to you, willing himself to calm down; He wasn’t a man to get flustered easily. The idea of playing with you made him hard. He thought about football…..the amount of paperwork on his desk….anything to stop thinking about you.

A few moments later, he spun back around with the cool, confident mask firmly back in place. He didn’t acknowledge what had just passed between you and you let it slide, not wanting to push your luck. He sat down on the floor with you and picked up a block, smiling at Olivia.

The three of you played on the floor, you and Javi taking turns with the blocks and watching Olivia squeal with delight as she knocked them down. You wondered if you would ever have this……the man and the baby. Maybe it wasn’t in the cards for you. Maybe you were always meant to be on the outside looking in.

Olivia’s yawn snapped you from your thoughts. You smiled as Olivia pouted and rubbed her eyes. “Looks like someone’s getting sleepy.” You sat up and gathered the little girl into your arms. “Let’s get you to bed, little one.” A warm feeling flowed through you as Olivia nestled her head into your shoulder. You cuddled her closer, relishing the feeling of someone needing you.

As you walked the hall to her room, she began to cry. Soft sobs filled your ears, and it broke your heart. “Hey, it’s okay babygirl.” You tried your best to soothe her as you bounced her lightly in your arms. Her sobs only grew louder as you paced her room, murmuring soft words into her ear. It seemed the more you tried, the louder she got. You tried everything you could think of, but nothing seemed to help. The sound of her cries made your stomach drop. You tried to think about what Connie would do if she were here as Olivia’s wails grew even louder. “I know I’m not your mama, but I’m trying kiddo.” Panic gripped you as you struggled to calm her. It shouldn’t be this hard to calm a crying baby, right? You couldn’t just let her continue to cry like this, you had to do something, but you were at a loss. Tears stung your eyes as you desperately racked your brain for the magical solution to your problem.

Javi silently watched you as struggled in vain to soothe Olivia. The nightlight in the corner cast a soft glow over you, highlighting your features in a way that made his breath catch in his throat. You looked beautiful holding a child in your arms, even if that child was currently wailing in your ear. It reminded him of a life he could have had if he had done things differently. A life that he still wanted but was afraid to reach for. He lived in a dangerous world, and he couldn’t ask someone, ask you, to sign up for that; but fuck if he didn’t want to.

“Do you think I could try?” Javi’s voice carried over the sound of Olivia’s cries. A wave of relief washed over you as you saw his unmistakeable frame leaning against the doorway.

“Please….” You said as you handed Olivia to him. “I’m out of ideas.”

“What seems to be the problem here, bebecita?” he cooed. “Did your auntie pinch you?” He chuckled softly at his own joke. Olivia wailed even louder, clearly not impressed by his attempt at humor.

You leaned against the wall as he paced the small room, bouncing the Olivia in his arms. He spoke to her softly, murmuring sweet words in Spanish. Olivia seemed to respond to him, her wails lessening in intensity. The tension you were holding in your shoulders began to slowly melt away and you closed your eyes.

“Duermete mi nino (sleep my child)…..duermete mi amor (sleep my love)…..” Javi crooned quietly.

Your eyes immediately snapped open. He was singing to her. Your chest tightened as the words of the lullaby floated to your ears. Holding a baby looks so good on him. The tenderness in his voice was unexpected and you ached to know that side of him. The image of Javi holding a child the two of you created danced in your head as he continued to sing slightly offkey. You tried to shake the image from your head, but it was no use, it was seared into your brain.

“Duermete pedazo de mi corazon (sleep little piece of my heart)….” Olivia was fast asleep on his shoulder by the time he finished the song. He gently laid her in her crib, covering her with a blanket. He looked to you, pressing a thick finger to his lips and motioned toward the door. The two of you quietly crept out of the room, closing the door behind you.

You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as the two of you plopped down onto the couch.

“Why are you smiling like that?” He asked. His eyes held a look you’d never seen from him before.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, the heat rising to your cheeks. “What are you talking about?”

He smirked at you, making your face heat up even more. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, princess. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You looked away for just a moment before meeting his gaze again. “You were so good with her. Where did you learn to do that?” His smile made you want to lean in and kiss him, but you held back.

“I grew up in a large family, lots of cousins. There were always babies around.” His eyes fell to the floor. “My mom used to sing that song to me and my little sister when we were little.” The raucous melody of the cartoons you had on for Olivia cut sharply through the sudden shift in your conversation.

“It was a beautiful song.” You offer, not knowing exactly what to say. That was the most personal thing he’d ever shared with you. The silence lingered as you struggled to come up with the perfect thing to say to cut the tension in the room. “Even if it was offkey.”

His eyes jerked up to meet yours, his signature smirk plastered to his face. “You think you could do better?” he teased.  Laughter drowned out the din of the television. “Probably not.” You admitted.

You let go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Your heart raced a little bit faster at the realization of how close you came to confessing your feelings. Did you see something in his eyes before he looked away? You couldn’t be sure, and you certainly weren’t going to ask. You settled back into your seat on the couch and searched for the remote. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough cartoons for a while.”

Javi’s large hand engulfed the remote as he held it up. “Found it.” You immediately reached for it, but he held it out of your grasp. “Finder’s keepers, princess.” he teased. “I’m choosing what we watch.”

Your bottom lip jutted out and you narrowed your eyes. For a split second, you contemplated trying to fight him for it, but your head won out in the end. Sinking back into the couch, you admitted defeat. “Fine” you pouted, “just don’t pick anything stupid, okay?”

He laughed, the sound filling your stomach with butterflies. The smirk plastered to his face as he started flipping channels.

“I’m grabbing a beer.” You stood from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. “You want one?”

You notice his eyes on you and quickly lowered your arms, suddenly aware that your shirt was riding up, giving him the perfect view of your stomach.

He noticed that you noticed, and he cleared his throat, dragging his eyes away from your body. “I’d love one, thanks.”

Javi let out a deep breath. He’d come so close to telling you how much he wanted you. He wanted to take you in his arms and show you just how deeply he felt for you. That was his plan when he showed up tonight, but now that he was so close to you; he was chickening out. He’d only hurt you in the end, he’d find a way to mess it up.

You returned with two cold beers, and you offer him a bottle. Your fingers brush against his, sending sparks through your body. Settling back into the couch, you tucked your legs under you and took a long drag from your bottle. The cool liquid slides down your throat easily as you try to focus your attention on the television. He finally settled on something and leaned back into the couch. His legs deliciously spread wide, dangerously close to yours despite the distance between you. The heat was radiating from his body, and you struggled to maintain your focus on the movie he chose.

The two of you watched in silence, drinking your beer. It’s comfortable in a strange way and you find yourself wanting more of this. Just being in each other’s presence, not needing words. You could almost imagine this being a normal evening at home, curled up next to him on the couch with your head on his shoulder.

His laugh snaps you from your thoughts. Your attention is drawn back to the movie and it’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen.

“You actually like this movie?” You grimace at the absurd scene on the screen.

“How can you not like this movie? It’s a goddamn classic!” He took a long drag from his beer and peered at you over the bottle.

Your brow furrowed. “That’s debatable, but whatever you say, Javi.”

“Just give it a chance, princess. It gets better, I promise.”

A playful scoff erupts from your lips. “It better or I’m never letting you pick the movie again.” The heat rises to your cheeks again. This isn’t a date and your eyes dart toward him to see his reaction. His eyes were focused on the screen, but his moustache twitched slightly. You bit your lip and prayed he wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t but you could’ve sworn he moved a little closer to you.

The credits had barely started to roll when you snatched the remote of his thigh. “My turn!” Your lips curve into a playful smirk as you point the remote at the television. He reached for the remote and you swat his hand away.

“Oh….so that’s how it’s going to be.” He smirked back at you.

You weren’t going to back down, even though you knew he could easily wrestle it away from you if he wanted. “Yep.” You responded; the cockiness dripped from the word.

His jaw twitched and his eyebrows raised. Without warning, he leaned forward and grabbed for the remote. You stopped him with a hand to his chest and tsked. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?” she teased. His eyes narrowed as you laughed.

“You’re asking for it, princess…..I fight dirty.” A devilish smirk formed on his lips.

“Ooooh, I’m so scared.” You rolled your eyes knowing that the size difference between you meant you didn’t stand a chance but part of you wanted to see what he would do.

Without warning, he pounced. He reached out for the remote again and somehow you kept it just out of his reach. The sound of your laughter filled the room. His tongue darted out to wet his full lips and then he descended on you.

He grabbed you by the waist and tickled you. Your shriek pierced the silence, and you covered your mouth to keep from walking up Olivia. He was relentless as he leaned into you, pinning your back against the armrest, tickling you mercilessly. You pulled your hand away from your mouth, laughing and struggling to breathe.

“Javi, please….” you laugh as you squirmed in his grasp.

“Oh, now you want mercy?” he teased, tickling you even harder with a smirk on his face.

“Okay, okay. You win. I give up……I give up!” Your breath is ragged, and tears leak from your eyes from laughing so hard.

You suck in a deep breath as he finally stops tickling you, but he doesn’t move away. He had you caged in with his muscular arms.  He just stared at you, and you found it impossible to hold his intense gaze. You can feel the heat radiating from his body. His lips, so soft and full, were close enough to yours to feel his breath against your cheeks. His hand cupped your cheek and suddenly his lips were on yours. You froze, unable to process what was happening and he pulled back. His brow furrowed and his brown eyes searched your wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” You weakly croaked out.

Javi chuckled softly and smirked. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Your face burns with heat. What an idiotic thing to say. Of course you know what he’s doing. What you want to know is why, but your pride keeps you from asking. You already knew the answer.

“Haven’t you noticed the way I flirt with you is different from the way I flirt with the other women at the office?” His voice is low and husky and for once he’s the one having a hard time keeping your gaze.

You shook your head slowly and your brows furrowed. Maybe you had noticed, but you thought it was because he could never possibly be interested in you romantically. You never let yourself entertain the thought of him wanting you in that way.

“It’s because you’re not like them, princess…. you’re different.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a crooked grin. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

You blinked rapidly, thinking that you’re imagining this. You’ve been wanting to hear these words for so long. Suddenly, it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room and your lungs fight for oxygen.

“Javi….” He immediately cut you off with a finger to your lips.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, and he exhaled loudly through nose. He shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s too late. He’s already kissed you once and now he wants more; he’s too far gone.

“Just let me say this, please.” You watch his eyes close for a moment, then open again; His brown eyes intensely focused on you. “I have feelings for you, princess……. I want to give you everything.” His eyes narrow slightly. “Would you give me that chance?” His voice is pleading, bordering on desperate.

You nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. You had wanted this for so long and now it was finally happening. The slight hum from the baby monitor filled the room as you continued to stare at each other. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

His thumb brushed your bottom lip as he looked into your eyes. Your skin tingled with the sensation, and you somehow resisted the urge to take the thick digit into your mouth and suck it. The rise and fall of your chest matched the pounding of your heart as he slowly leaned in and captured your lips with his.

His tongue touched your lips, and you parted them without a second thought, allowing him access to your mouth.  

This feels like heaven. You had dreamt about what it would feel like to kiss him and the reality is better than you could have ever imagined. His kiss was surprisingly gentle, his soft tongue probed your mouth with a quiet intensity that made you throb for more.

His large hand cupped the back of your head as he gently pushed you down into the couch. His breath was quick and heavy as he leaned into you. His nose pressed against you as he deepened the kiss, pushing you further underneath him.

The rest of the world was completely forgotten as you pulled him even closer to you, snaking your fingers into his dark hair. Your tongues danced to a perfect rhythm as you both lost yourself in desire.

His hand found the hem of your shirt and his fingers slowly crept under the fabric. A soft moan escaped you as he finally came into contact with your bare skin. His calloused fingers skated across the smooth skin of your stomach, brushing across your ribcage, moving higher at a painfully slow pace surely designed to drive you insane.

The taste of the cherries mixed with the bitterness of the beer on your lips made his head swim. The way you had parted your lips for his tongue......God, he wanted to devour you. He wanted to take you right here on this couch and claim you as his.

He settled into the cradle of your thighs, his growing bulge pressing firmly against your aching heat.  “Fuck, cariño.” The words left his lips in a breathy whisper, the want blanketing you like a thick fog blinding you to anything other than him. Your tongue licked into his mouth hungrily, almost desperately. His tongue pushed back against yours with equal force, letting you know  he was just as much into this as you were. The ornamental clock on the wall ticking to the pace of your breathing as you fell deeper under his spell.

Javi’s thick fingers traced the lace of your bra, the thin material leaving little between his hand and your skin. Your breath faltered as his thumb brushed across your nipple until it sharpened under his ministrations. He quietly moaned his approval into your mouth along with a more forceful thrust of his tongue. Your back arched, pushing your body into his hand…..the desire pooling at your core.

Neither one of you heard the click of the latch as the front door swung open.

“Oh, fuck!” Steve’s voice brought you both crashing back to reality.

Javi’s head snapped up, his eyes wide and mouth agape. You scrambled out from underneath him, tugging at your shirt in a desperate attempt to cover up.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. His eyes danced between the two of you and he smirked. “I knew you two fuckers wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other.” His keys clanked against the bowl, and he shot a glance at Connie trying to suppress her giggles. “There better not be any cum stains on my couch.”

Javi’s jaw twitched as he moved away from you but otherwise, he was the picture of calm, not a shred of embarrassment shown on his beautiful face. You, on the other hand, were a different story. Your face burned as your eyes bored holes into the floor. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at Connie or Steve, even though the smile on your face could have lit up the darkest night. You were embarrassed about being caught but you didn’t regret a single moment of what happened between you and Javi on that couch. You swallowed your feelings of embarrassment and lifted your chin. You weren’t a teenager who’d just been caught making out with your boyfriend by your parents, you were an adult and you had nothing to be ashamed of.

“Did you enjoy the restaurant?” You asked Connie, changing the subject to calm your racing heart.

“Oh my god, it was amazing! The food was ridiculous. You would love it.” Her eyes darted to Javi and the subtle raise of her brow didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“I’m glad you had such a great time.” The two of you chatted briefly about how Olivia did throughout the night. Your eyes darted toward Javi and Steve, the two of them engrossed in their own conversation.

You grabbed your purse and called out to Steve, telling him you’d see him at work on Monday.

“Do I see double dates in our future?” Connie asked quietly as the two of you hugged.

You laughed softly. “Maybe?” Your eyes darted to Javi and the two of you locked eyes for a brief moment.

Your eyes drifted back to the couch. The heat of the moment you and Javi shared spreading through your body like smoldering embers. Your eyes fell on Javi one last time, his lips twitched into a crooked grin.

“I guess I should get out of here too.” Javi clapped Steve on the shoulder. “I’ll walk you out.”

He pecked Connie on the cheek and opened the door, allowing you to exit first. His hand rested gently at the small of your back as he guided you toward the stairs.

“You know, Valentine’s Day isn’t over yet Princess.” Javi whispered in your ear, his breath hot against your skin.

The warmth of his hand at your back made your skin tingle. “No, I guess it’s not.” Your lips twisted into a small smirk.

When you reached your car, he grabbed you by the waist spinning you around to face him, his eyes intense with desire. “I’m not ready to stop celebrating.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he pressed his body against yours. “Me either.”  He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away just enough to look at you.

“My place.” His voice was rough with desire. It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.

You slowly nodded, not wanting to seem too eager. He brushed his lips against yours one last time before releasing you from his grip and walking toward his own car; pausing momentarily to tilt his head to light a cigarette.

Was this the start of something? You had no idea…..but you were damn sure going to find out.

[lucid-loves]

Taste Like Venom ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 4

Pairing: Ghost x assassin!reader (fem!reader, no use of y/n, callsign “Hex”)

Word Count: 3.6k

CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, enemies to lovers trope, slow burn, fluff, clear attraction and sexual tension, smut later on, reader POV and ghost POV, minors dni, Soap lives in this AU

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Story Synopsis: After Makarov gets away once again, Laswell decides to force a favor from you, the world’s greatest assassin and best-kept secret. You are now expected to help the 141 with taking down Makarov in addition to playing nice with them. It’s hard to play nice when you have always worked alone. It doesn’t help that one of the team members, Ghost, gets curious about you in each interaction. 

Chapter Synopsis: While you are alone in your own hotel room, the men talk about you over Italian cuisine. This includes speculation on Ghost’s feelings for you. Meanwhile, you are already gearing up for infiltration to tap the target building. Ghost decides that he wants a front-row seat to your show.

A/N: I am adding a taglist from now on for those who want to be a part of one. I made a post asking people to like it if they wanted to be part of it. If you would like to comment that you want to be in a taglist, you can do so on this post~

Taglist: @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @dory-98 @cum-tea-and-towels @completelymarveltrash

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10

Good God, authentic pizza was absolutely amazing. The standard for pasta was incredible as well. It beat the standard cafeteria food back on base by a landslide. The 141 grimaced as they thought about someday having to return to the food back home. Even the food they’ve eaten out of your fridge has been refreshing to their taste buds. Soap was the most vocal about his dread of the mass-cook cafeteria food as he devoured another slice of heaven. “Christ, going back to bland spinach and soggy rice is going to be fuckin’ painful!”

“Remember when they tried to do a taco night. Fucking hell, the lettuce was dripping fat like a sponge.” Gaz added as he took a swig of whiskey. It wasn’t the Italian choice of liquor to pair with food, but it was the 141’s choice. Not Ghost’s though. He missed his Kentucky bourbon. 

“Last Thanksgiving was the most painful for me. Turkey was drier than my fuckin’ belt.” Soap chuckled, trying not to drip sauce onto the bed with how his whole body laughed with him. They were eating in one of the double queen hotel rooms, away from the public eye. When they were all together in a group, they often garnered attention. Such was the price for being such large, capable men.

“Anyone reckon that Hex is up yet? Food is gonna get cold.” Price inquired. They had saved some food for you. A plate full of different things since no one knew what you liked. Even Kate didn’t know when they called to ask her. Still, they tried their best anyway. And their best was getting cold on a ceramic plate.

Soap shook his head in refusal. “I’m not gonna knock on her door. The lass scares the shite out of me.”

Gaz laughed out loud. “Soap? Afraid? Never thought I’d live to see the day.” 

“Hey, you weren’t the one that nearly lost an ear! With fuckin’ car keys of all things.” He defended, taking a long swig of his own drink. He clearly wasn’t going to forgive you for that any time soon. It made him annoyed when he thought about the fact that you probably didn’t care. 

Price shrugged and poured himself another drink. “You were kinda asking for it, Johnny. I think I would’ve nearly killed you too if I’m being honest.”

“Well, Lt. made the joke first and he didn't nearly get stabbed.” He continued to argue, looking to Simon for an answer on how it was different when he cracked the joke. Ghost just stared with indifference, sitting in the corner with his mask halfway up. Even if he was with the people he trusted with his identity, he just felt more comfortable hiding his face while he ate.

The room went quiet for a moment as the men thought about it. Out of all of them, Ghost seemed to be the one that was able to get the closest to you. You still pushed him away by miles, but it was definitely closer than they were getting. Kyle took another slice of pizza, the fresh basil so vibrantly green that it looked like it was glowing. “How do you feel so comfortable pushing her boundaries, Lieutenant? One attempt at our lives is enough for us to back off. Yet, you seem to keep going back for more.”

The men waited for an answer, an idea crawling into each of their heads. Price had already picked up on it by now. He noticed as soon as Ghost lifted you in his arms. Gaz vocalizing his observation out loud just now triggered Soap to realize it too. A slow, knowing smirk crept along Soap’s lips. Simon scowled at the insinuation, reading all of their minds. “All of you can bury your ideas six feet under. I’m just trying to get her to trust us. The mission will go a lot smoother if she does. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can go home.”

All of them returned to enjoying their meals, unconvinced by Ghost’s protest. Was Simon attracted to you? Absolutely. Did he like you? Well, he certainly didn’t hate you. The biggest problem for him was that you were dangerous. Not just from an ability standpoint, but from an emotional standpoint. While he did want to get close to you, he still wanted to keep you just out of arm’s reach emotionally because he knew that you would burn him. Poison him with that venom of yours. He knew if he really did fall for you, he would never stop falling. 

For the sake of the mission and his own preservation, he convinced himself that you were only a temporary attraction. A beautiful woman with incredible power that will return to the unknown as soon as this is all over. His teammates knew better, though. In all their time of knowing Simon, he has never shown interest in women. Always too busy. Always too focused on work. Not even making time for hook-ups. When you came into the picture, you got his attention in a way they have never seen before. That meant a lot to them.

“Regardless, you have the honor of delivering our assassin her dinner, Lieutenant.” Price smirked, abusing his power as Captain to avoid feeding the feral woman next door. Ghost clenched his jaw, cursing out John in his mind as he got up.

The men continued their lighthearted conversation as Simon walked out, plate of food in hand. Taking a deep breath, he walked to your door and knocked. When there was no answer, he thought that perhaps you were still asleep. So, he took out his spare keycard to the room and welcomed himself in. 

The room was dim, large shadows casing over the beige walls. A few laptops were running on the desks, already hacked into the security cameras of the target building. You’ve actually been up for a while and have been busy getting things ready for your infiltration. It was alarming when you woke up in your hotel room instead of the car at first. However, it didn’t take you long to figure out that someone must’ve carried you. You were pretty sure who it was, but you didn’t dwell on it. There was work to be done and you had wasted too much time with sleep. 

Kate helped you get into their systems. From there, a layout of the building was mapped out along with the IDs of everyone working for Makarov. You have watched enough security footage to take note of the guard routes. All that needed to be done was planting the taps to allow you to listen in on everything. Nothing was going to be unheard. Not even the sound of a guard taking a bathroom break.

Simon watched you fasten a black belt tight around your hips that carried a collection of small throwing knives. You wore new pants, a long sleeve turtleneck with a hood, and boots. All tight. All black. His hands ached to reach out in order to trace your prominent curves. He wanted to feel the thin fabric of your shirt, the heat of your skin exuding through it. 

Instead of that, he placed the food down on top of your dresser, resisting the temptation. “Not going to eat first?”

You didn’t even glance his way, something he wanted to fix immediately. “No. It will weigh me down. I had room service bring up some fruit earlier. It will tie me over until I get back.”

“You’re leaving now?” He questioned, anger rising in his tone. You should have let them know that you were awake. That you were set up with the tech. That you wanted to proceed with the mission with a lookout. You shouldn’t have intended to do this alone.

But, you couldn’t help it. This is how you have always worked. Besides, to you, there was no reason to waste time with unnecessary things like knocking on their door to let them know you were ready. What were you? A fucking dog looking to be let out? “Now is better than later. Security usually lets their guard down after meals. It’s not too late in the night to expect intruders too. Now is the optimal time for me to place the taps.”

Simon scoffed at your unapologetic reasoning. “And you were just going to do this alone? Not even someone to watch the cameras out for you? What if you get compromised?”

Here we fucking go again. You grabbed the taps sitting on the desk, putting them in a small satchel securely tied to your belt. “Can you not criticize the way I do things every fucking conversation? I’m doing what I do best, Simon. I’ve never been compromised before. That’s a streak I intend to keep.”

He stepped towards you, his frame menacing as he towered over you. Hearing your name come from your lips was still something he wasn’t used to. Despite that, he wasn’t going to let you do this alone. This time, his tone was gentle yet resolute. “I’m letting the force know and I’m going to monitor the cameras.”

Looking up into his eyes, you could see that he wasn’t going to waver from his decision. There was no point fighting about this, you finally decided. Not even twelve hours ago was your last fight with him. A part of you was getting tired of it. Stepping back towards the hotel window to leave, you threw in the towel. It wasn’t going to stop you from getting the job done anyhow. “Do whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.”

“Hang on.” Ghost stopped you, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist. He pulled you towards him, using the advantage of his strength to have you close to him. Anticipating you to either reach for your knives or strike him with your other hand, he prepared to guard himself. However, you never used the same trick twice in a row. 

Like a forceful tango, you stepped your full weight forward to catch him off balance. You then pushed further as he was forced to step back lest you headbutt him, your hand now having the room to land on his chest with a quick, sharp force. In Simon’s fall, you swiped his sheathed knife from his own belt. Before he knew it, he was laying on his back on your bed, you straddling him, his eyes locking with yours that blazed with victory. 

Ghost’s strong hand was still wrapped around your wrist, but your free hand had his own knife pressed against his chest. Right over his heart that was thudding against his chest like it wanted to break out. The hot blood in his body was pumping into overdrive. Not in fear of death. No. In pure, passionate attraction. He swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to still pull you down and kiss you through his mask. Even if it would cause the knife to be plunged into his heart, the thought of being able to share a passionate kiss with you didn’t seem like a bad tradeoff.

Tendrils of your hair fell past your face, framing a beautiful jawline he wanted to trace with his lips. The image of you gasping in shock and pleasure as he squeezed your hips flashed in his mind for a second. It wouldn't have been hard to do. His other hand was still free but frozen as you pressed the tip of the blade into his chest. He also imagined the potential sweetness of your tongue, giving him a taste of dessert after dinner. He wanted to be the one to catch you by surprise and submit to his will. Only, you would love it and beg for more through feverish kisses and the grinding of your hips against his.

Christ, he was getting a boner. 

He wasn’t the only one who was feeling it, though. The sound of your own heartbeat was flooding your ears. You couldn’t seem to pull away from his blue eyes that so heatedly begged for you to come closer. The heat already felt from your body pressing against his didn’t feel like enough. Especially when you began to feel his growing hardness pressing against you. That just made your own sex tingle with need.

You got off of him quickly, putting distance between the two of you. What the fuck were you doing?! What the hell was wrong with you?! You haven't been with anyone for so long, but it was no excuse to get so swept up like this. Not with someone like Ghost. Not with someone like Simon Riley. You needed to get a fucking grip. Get your head on straight. Damn it, you were better than this!

Slowly, he sat up and cleared his throat, trying to pretend that what just happened wasn’t the sexiest thing he’s ever been through. His knife was tossed onto the bed next to him, your movements quick as you rushed to get the fuck out of there.

However, when Simon called your name, you froze. He sounded a little breathless, his voice making you shiver. “Hex, wait.”

Simon stood from the bed to grab something from the desk. Cautiously, he walked towards you, now learning his lesson that it wasn’t a great idea to just grab you so suddenly for multiple reasons. At a slow pace, he opened his large palm to show you a small earpiece. Still being careful with his speed and touch, he lightly brushed your hair behind your ear and inserted the earpiece for you. You flinched as his fingers brushed against your jaw, butterflies erupting within you.

“You’ll be able to hear me through this. I won’t say anything unless I really have to. You’ll be able to talk to me through it too. Whatever you want, whatever you need, just say it.” Ghost promised. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You feared that using your voice would reveal just how flustered you were over what just transpired. Instead, you gave a simple nod and headed back to your window.

The nighttime breeze flooded in as soon as you opened the window, the chill seeping into your bones. Good. You needed to cool off. Without looking back, you slipped out into the night, leaving Simon behind to wonder if supposed enemies were supposed to be attracted to each other like this. 

~

The shadows concealed you, the moonlight accentuating them on every surface they could touch. Quietly and quickly, you moved from shadow to shadow until you stumbled upon the targeted building. From the outside, it looked like a rundown, abandoned office building up for sale. The place was hidden away, tucked behind the forefront of what Italy wanted to offer instead. Beauty. 

You watched armed men standing guard, looking out into the alleyways for enemies. Sticking to the shadows, you crept along the side of the building before spotting an open window just above you. Taking a deep breath to focus your mind, you sprung into action. With a few wall jumps, you were right in one of Makarov’s weapons depot. 

From the laptops back at the hotel, Ghost carefully watched the footage, almost holding his breath as he searched for you. His team gathered into the room once he told them you had left already. They had assumed that all the time he spent missing with you was just him helping set up the tech. He didn’t correct them on this. Like you had said before, never underestimate the power of assumptions.

Relief washed over his shoulders as soon as he saw your figure invade the building. Just as fast as you had entered, you hid, dropping a tap that was modeled to look like a dead fly onto the dirty tile. The place was dusty, the smell of stagnant air filling your lungs. The men here didn’t care about the cleanliness of the place. Fortunately for the 141, that meant that they wouldn't have to worry about anyone cleaning up the “dead flies.”

All of the men watched the footage as you swiftly made your way from room to room dropping flies. Soap double checked to make sure that the enemies’ own footage was still scrubbed as you worked. Regardless, you moved so carefully that any video of you just looked like a weird, black glitch. You were in your zone. This is what you did for years. This is what you have secretly missed doing.

Every move you made was calculated, following a strict regime based on the men’s own schedule. As you dropped more and more taps, Price began to check if they worked on his end. Sure enough, they could hear everything.

Gaz noticed that Ghost’s body was rigid, his eyes refusing to leave the screens. He was keeping track of you like he would lose sight of you if he blinked. Wanting to ease his worries, he began to prepare some tea using the hotel’s electric kettle. Kyle was always one to look out for his friends like this.

A hot cup of black tea was placed in front of Ghost, the smell already releasing the tension in his muscles. Gaz pat his stiff shoulder. “She’s gonna be alright, bruv.”

Ghost gave a silent nod, finally taking a moment to let his eyes wander off of the monitor to have a sip of tea. Now that he was more relaxed, he viewed your movements in a more admiring way. None of them could pull off how smoothly you moved. How easy you glided through like a gust of wind passing through. Even when you were close to an enemy, you kept your cool, refrained from killing, and moved on without detection. 

You were a god damn modern-day ninja. A fine one at that.

In less than an hour, you had swept through the whole building without detection. Every tap was planted. Not once did you hear Simon in your ear either. You were glad. You felt like if you heard his voice through the earpiece it would break your flow. But, a part of you did yearn to hear his deep voice so close to you. 

Getting out was the easiest part. Having no one seen you come in, you took the same route out. When you came back through the window, you were met with grateful smiles and words of praise that were foreign to your ears. Ghost wanted to be the first one to say something about your skills, but loud-mouth Sergeant Soap beat him to it. “Damn, Lass! I think you just set a record for 141!”

“That was quite impressive stuff there, Hex. It was like you were never there. Kate was right about you.” Price grinned as he thanked you in his own way.

Gaz hopped on the headphones to listen to the taps as soon as his Captain moved. “All of them are working just fine. I’ve only ever seen moves like that in movies and video games. Job well done!”

You were unsure of what to do with all of this attention, never having experienced it before. When you worked alone, there was no one to tell you that you did well when you got back. You didn’t know if all of this flattery made you feel good. In all honesty, the confusion you felt about it made you a little sick to your stomach.

Weaving past them all, you grabbed your cold plate of food that Simon brought to you earlier and left without a word through the door. After receiving some worried glances from his soldiers, Price provided some words of reassurance. “Don’t worry, men. Hex probably isn’t used to having people wait for her like this, let alone praise for good work. Give her time.”

As the team brought back some of the tech to monitor from their rooms, Ghost stepped out into the hallway to look for you. He initially thought that you would be in one of their rooms to use the microwave, but you were nowhere in sight. While he wanted to keep looking, a call by his Captain to help made him call it there for the night. 

And so he spent the rest of the night bunking with Soap, listening in on private conversations and thinking about you. Meanwhile, you spent your night eating a cold dinner alone on the hotel rooftop. Overlooking the city, your own mind occasionally wandered against your will towards Ghost and how it would feel if his heat saved you from the autumn winds chilling your skin.

[anonymooseforever007]

The Engagement

(Luca Changretta x Shelby sister reader)

Summery: You had made it very clear already. You had absolutely no intentions of marrying Luca Changretta for a business deal.... So your brothers really should have been suspicious when you eagerly requested for them to set up a meeting for you and your fiancé one neutral ground.... And they should have been scared when you choose Alfie's shipyard as that neutral ground....

A/N: Hi Y'all! No trigger warnings besides peaky language and threats I think! There are talks about an arranged marriage, but once again we'll see how that goes over.... This is the first time I've like written Luca besides just mentions so I hope I did alright! Also I write this like two weeks ago but forgot to edit it until today oops! Enjoy!❤️

WC-5.0k

Part 1- The Proposal Main Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Remind me again why the fuck we're we're here Tom?"

"Ask her. She was the one who choose the meeting place."

"Keep in mind that she can also hear you perfectly well brother darling, and if you ask that question one more time you won't be so lucky."

Arthur raised his hands in surrender as he took a seat by John as you all sat waiting for your company to arrive. Well, Tommy didn't sit. He just stood with a cigarette hanging from his mouth watching the entrance gate of the loading dock. 

"All I don't understand is why you wanted to meet him here. After all, we're Romani blood right?"

"Yes Arthur."

"And Luca's Italian blood?"

"Correct"

"So why the fuck are we meeting at the fucking Jew's shipyard?"

"I actually agree with that. Why are we here? Isn't it suppose to be neutral ground or what not?" John chimed in and even Tommy tilted his head in concession. Even he wasn't sure why you choose to meet Luca in Alfie's territory. He would have rather met in Charlie's yard, but you'd insisted on being here, in the small boat yard on the edge of Alfie's territory. 

"Simple. If he hates both of you he can't favor either of you. Thus neutral land is formed."

"That's some wise fucking words if I've ever heard them, poppet." 

Turning around you smiled at the approaching gangster, his loyal dog strolling a few steps ahead. Reaching out you began to coo at the large dog who was eager to receive his belly rubs. Playing with Cyril always improved your mood. You ignored the groans of your brothers and John grabbing on to Arthur's coat to he decided to lunge.

"Hello Arthur!"

"Fuck off!"

"Oi! No fighting," you interrupted getting between the two men, "Now he may hate you all, but he can still hate one more than the other so let's not push it."

Alfie nodded his head mockingly behind you as you gently shoved your eldest brother away. Sending him back to his seat, you gave Tommy a short glare for not stepping in, to which he just shrugged, and then turned towards Alfie again.

"But really why are you here?"

"Can't a man walk his own property?"

"Sure, but you said everything would be ready for when Mr. Changretta arrived. You're not suppose to be here. It's to be a private affair."

"And it is. Just making one last check to see if you lot are all ready and make one last proposal of my own. Also I wanna remind ya not to get any blood on my dock. Just had it redone all nice and such. I wouldn't want your ugly guts staining the finish. I saw their ugly fucking cars pulling up down the street on my way in. Should be here any minute. It's a shame thou init? Pretty thing like you is too good for any of these cunts. If you'd like I can kill them all now and you can run with me, eh poppet? You can play with my dog any day you want." 

You laughed as both Arthur and John stood up this time with indignant protests. Even Tommy tensed up and turned to glare at the man who had spoken.

"Alright then Mr. Solomons," you drawled, patting the man's chest, "While that is just a lovelyoffer, unfortunately I am already taken for," a quick glare at Tommy, "though you're welcome to leave the dog anytime. He's such a lovely boy." Cyril wagged his tail at the attention shoving his head into your leg like an over grown cat looking for head scratches. Ones you were more than happy to oblige.

"Well then, I best be off now haven't I mates? Unlike you lot I know to appease a pretty woman with her desires. Y/N." Alfie nodded his head as he stared to head off, Cyril waiting until his master had called thrice before leaving your side. It wasn't until they'd both rounded the corner when the company you'd finally be waiting for arrived. Three black cars pulled up smoothly before coming to a halt. From your place in the shipping yard you watched nine men exit the cars. A few more than you had expected but still not any issue.

Your brothers walked up first, and you saw Tommy moving to shake someone's hand. The man was tall with dark slicked back hair and he wore his hat slightly tilted on his head. He looked stupid. In his mouth sat a toothpick that he seemed to enjoy munching on as he listened to your brother speak. He looked like a cow when he did that you'd stubborn decided. A stupid cow. A handsome cow. But a handsome stupid cow. Stupid. handsome. cow man. asshole.....ok so obviously still you weren't happy to be there. After all, this was the man who threatened to kill your entire family. Even the children, and you made a habit of disliking anyone willing to harm children. They didn't have to want any of their own or even like them in general, but to be willing to harm something so innocent to the crimes being punished seemed wrong to you. So even without meeting the man you knew you despised him. What kinda lowlife monster would be willing to hurt innocent kids to get his revenge? ....Evidently one you're brothers we're willing to marry you too. But was there really no other deal he'd make for peace? Well....If things went to plan you were about to find out. 

"I'm glad you were able to consider my proposal Mr.Shelby, I think it's much nicer this way isn't it?"

You didn't even try to hide your disbelieving laugh as the New York Gangster's words reached your ears. Immediately the attention went you, and since he was closer now, you could see the faint outline of a permanent  stubble outlining his lower face. Stupid veryhandsome cow man. As he looked towards you for the first time Luca raised and eyebrow.

"Do you find something amusing?"

Tilting your head slightly, you smiled with a false sweetness. Out of the side of your eye, you noticed your brothers tensing up slightly. Be it from the fact Luca was so close or that you interrupted their conversion. Either way, they began to notice the glint in your eye. And slowly they were regretting allowing you to meet Luca before the wedding. As if an introduction at the alter would have been any better.

"Yes. Very amusing in fact. See, I came here thinking it was ME being proposed to," clasping a hand mockingly to your chest you continued, "But here we are and the only one being romanced is my beloved brother. ...Well, romanced isn't the word, that's got to be the shittiest proposal I've ever heard. 'I'm glad you've considered my proposal'.... poppycock! Aren't you Italians suppose to be good at this romance shit?"

Arthur choked on his tongue besides you as Tommy spoke your name in warning, which you ignored. Luca moved his toothpick around his mouth and he gave you a once over. If you hadn't already been set on hating this man, his stare would have sent a pleasant shiver down your back in a way few could these days. Finally, letting out a small but still amused hum, Luca reached out to shake your hand. 

"Y/N, I presume?"

"Shelby. Y/N Shelby....Miss Y/N Shelby is my name. And you are too close, back up," you stated firmly. The special emphasis on both 'Shelby' and 'Miss' was more than enough to let anyone know your feelings on the current situation. Luca only raised his eyebrow again and rescinded his unaccepted hand. 

"I'm Lu...."

"I know who you are," you interrupted.

"Really," Luca queried. Surely you didn't know enough about him then if you were treating him so flippantly, he thought. He was the man determined to end you entire bloodline only a few weeks ago. You should be terrified of what would happen if he decided he didn't want to marry you!! But no, he thought, instead you were....

"You're the man who thinks finger paintings are scary."

Luca's toothpick fell from his mouth, while John could be heard covering his laugh. Then his eyes narrowed and his voice became slightly darker.

"What did you say?"

Tommy put a hand on your shoulder as he stepped forward to put himself between you two. But before he could open his mouth to take control of the situation again, yours opened first. You waved your hands around in sarcastic  excitement as you spoke, imitating the man's voice.

"What were you helping 'mama' with her lesson plan one day, making hand turkeys and decide, 'ohhh THUMBS! Terrifying?! That'll be a great way to show people not to mess with me!'"

Luca's eye twitched and if he hadn't already lost it, you were sure he would have snapped the toothpick between his teeth, his jaw was clenched so tightly.

"Watch your tone with me woma..."

"OR WHAT? You'll send me a finger painting?"

Arthur wrapped an arm around your waist and began to pull your back. No, he didn't like how Luca was speaking to you, but he also didn't want you to start a war of your own today. Even if he had a good idea you'd win. And yet still you weren't deterred. 

"Can it be pink and have confetti? OOHH or maybe it can be red like the blood that's gonna run down your throat when imaamuahhh," Arthur hissed as you bit the hand covering your mouth, but it was enough time for Tommy to finally step in again. Briefly...

"She doesn't mean that. It's the fa..."

"He's right! I don't!" You interjected again, freeing yourself of your eldest brother, "I'm not actually a fan of blood, so I won't slit your throat, but I'd be carefully of the champagne at the after party. Never know what slips in the cups these days..."

This time it was John who grabbed you, though not as roughly as Arthur, but luckily for everyone you had finished.... for now. The entire yard was silent and even Tommy was at a small loss for what to say. Truth be told he didn't know if there was anything to say. It was a long enough shot to convince Luca that marriage would be a way to end the vendetta and now here you were, possibly ruining that chance within half an hour. While he could understand your anger, there was still a part of him that was annoyed at the fact you could be so tactless. Another part though, the part that was still your big brother, was incredibly proud and resisting the urge to laugh at your comments. Luca however, remained unimpressed.

"My apologies, Miss Shelby," Luca restated, started to become more than annoyed with your antics. Surely, you knew that he was the one holding the power here? If your family had it, there was no way they'd have even considered the marriage. He was the one holding all the cards and you were instead choosing to act as though this entire plan was your idea. In a quieter, and deceitfully threatening voice, Luca ignored your demand for space and leaned closer to your ear. "Though, one would think for a woman in your situation, you'd be a little more welcoming to your fiancé. After all, I've been so generous to reconsider my previous message of vendetta, haven't I Bella?"

John could be heard whispering to Tommy, probably demanding to be allowed to hit the taller man, but he was held back. Again, you ignored your brothers instead focusing on the man before you, who's just said one of the worst things he could have.

"Generous? You think you're generous to try and force a woman into marriage and take her away from her family? Is it generous to not to kill children in exchange for someone else's freedom? Do you expect me to be happy, fucking happy, to have to spend the rest of my life with you when I don't even know you? I don't who you are or what you might do to me. You expect me to just follow your every whim and play housewife, knowing that one day you may kill me to go after my brothers? Is that what you define fucking generosity as," you fumed, just as angry as you were when you first learned about the new deal. "Well, if that's generous then damn all of the generosity in the world to hell! I agreed to come here today to meet you for my family. I am agreeing to consider giving up some of my freedom for their safety, when I'm not even the one who started this whole mess. I could have said no. I could have left them to fend for themselves and likely die over a needless feud, but I didn't. Because I was the one who decided to be generous. I am the one willing to give up something good that I have, to keep spending bad from happening to someone else. That is generous. My drawback for their benefit. I didn't have to do it but I did. Because I love them. So unless you're more incompetent than you've come off so far, I'd try thinking of a better word than generous for that little statement if I was you," speaking tersely you dared Luca to question your speech. Then taking a deep breath you closed your eyes off a moment.

His last comment had thrown you off, setting you off in a way you hadn't meant to go. And while your words were true, this isn't where you wanted the conversation to go. Not if your plan was going to work. It couldn't work if you'd pushed Luca too far too fast. He needed to be in just the right spot for the biggest blow to make the most efficient impact. Sighing, you straightened your shirt and looked down at your shoes. Your glare dropped and an almost desperate look appeared in your eyes briefly. 

"Besides.... is it too much to ask for a proper proposal? Like the one from a story that makes you dream of true love," Tilting your head in an almost wistfully sad way, you'd met Luca's gaze again, noticing that by some miracle he's eyes had softened just slightly. "Even if it's not true it would be nice to pretend wouldn't it? To actually be asked to be one's forever even if it seems there's only one answer? Can't I at least be granted that?"

Luca thought for a moment, taking the time to pull a new toothpick from his pocket. Shooting a brief glance over your shoulder, he saw your brothers staring at him intensely from a few steps behind. It crossed his mind that if he truly did want to, he could kill you here and now. Because he really did have the power in this fight. You stood within half an arms reach and the eight men he'd brought with him far outnumbered your three brothers. It could be an easy fight, over in mere seconds, damned how neutral this ground was suppose to be. He could kill you all now and the vendetta would be settled, AND he wouldn't ever have to deal with your infuriating brothers or your even more infuriating comments ever again. You had showed him no respect up to this point and if it were anyone else they'd have been dead after the first interruption. But you weren't dead, and for some reason, some unknown feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach, Luca wanted do keep it that way. So he unwittingly did exactly what you wanted him to do. 

"You want a proper proposal," Luca drawled, his eyes falling to your lips once and his voice was calmer now, almost softly curious, like he sympathized with your plea, "Is that it? Me asking you, and that's all it'll take for this to be done? You'll be good and stop fighting?"

Smiling sweetly again, a more genuine smile this time you nodded, clasping you hands together and placing them behind you almost shyly as you rocked your feet. It was a complete change from your attitude moments ago. Like all it took was to believe someone was listening to you, for you to become this sweet little demure creature from the fairytales his mother taught in her class. 

And somehow, naively Luca didn't realize the fairytale of your own act now. Giving a pleased smile, at what he assumed was your acceptance of the deal, he nodded, silently agreeing to your desires. Despite your beliefs Luca didn't think of himself as a monster, nor did he want an unhappy marriage either. He didn't necessarily care if you loved him, but it would be nice if he knew you wouldn't betray him. And if he could please his wife, he figured life would be so much easier for him in that matter. So he supposed he could give you this one thing you seemed to so closely desire. Besides, there was, again, this almost funny feeling that had settled in Luca's stomach. He couldn't say what it was but there was apart of him that was almost.... excited to be able to actually propose to you instead of just meeting you at the alter. It was something he couldn't explain and wouldn't admit yet but it was there. And so the next words from his mouth would seal both your fates.... or so he thought as he took the toothpick out of his mouth to fulfil your wish. 

"Y/N Shelby? Would you like to..."

"Wait, not like that!"

Luca froze, his head tilting in confusion at the light frown that has formed on your face. Your brothers, as well as Luca's own men could be here whispering in the background. None of them were really sure what was going on now, but none of them moved, all equally curious to see where this was going. 

"Not like that? Didn't you just say you wanted me to propose?"

"Yes, but I also said propose properly," you insisted, "if you don't do it the right way it may as well mean nothing." 

"And what exactly does 'proper' mean by your standards? What do you want me to do?" There was a small amount of sarcasm in his words due to a voice in his mind that was starting to get annoyed again, but Luca ignored it. It didn't even take you a second of thought before your smile returned. As had the look that worried your brothers in the first place.

"It means get on your knees Mr. Changretta."

Silence echoed across the entire shipyard. Almost all the men present stood in shock, eyes wide, even Tommy at what you'd just said. Luca however just tilted his head to the side, his hat looked straight now, processing. The deceptively sweet smile still lingered on your face as you waited for a response.

"You said to get on my knees.... to propose to you?" he repeated slowly, wanting to confirm you'd actually just demanded that of him. He wanted to be sure you had the audacity to order such from him. 

"I want you on your knees Luca....now."

....

Luca listened. 

For some reason, one nobody would ever be able to explain, he did as you said. The toothpick was clenched tightly between his lips as he slowly lowered himself to one knee, eyes locked with yours the entire time. His men could be heard whispering to each other behind him, and Luca knew he'd have to have a talk with them later about what they saw. Luca took a deep breath in, contemplating if this was actually going to happen, if he was actually doing this....Evidently he was. 

"Y/N Shelby..." he paused a moment as you stuck out your hand indicating he should take it... He did. You couldn't see it, but Tommy was looking up at sky, lips tightly together trying to hide his smirk. John and Arthur did have to turn around to hide their grins now too. Luca started again. The words were spoken with a slight hint of sarcasm as he repeated by the title you'd reminded him of earlier. Luca tilted his head in question, and if he did it any more his hat probably would have fallen off. 

"Y/N Shelby, Miss Y/N Shelby.... would you do me the honor of marrying me, Luca Changretta, and become my wife?"

"No."

Luca almost choked on his toothpick, he inhaled so quickly, his cheeks darkening a slight tint of red. You hadn't even paused for a moment to think, bluntly rejecting the man on his knees before you. Squeezing his hand lightly, you smiled again, though now Luca could see the true meaning of the look and realised that you never had any intentions of accepting his proposal at al. You just wanted to make a fool out of him down on his knees. Quickly, that embarrassment turned to anger as Luca shot to his feet, pulling you closer by the hand and seething in your face. Behind you, your brothers shot into action as well, all tensing up and reaching for their guns. But they knew that even if necessary, they'd have no shot as you were practically shielding Luca with you body because if where they stood. 

"That's is enough! Who the fuck do you think you are to fucking make me kneel..."

"Step back Luca," you interrupted, undetected by his ranting, but he ignored you.

"Don't tell me to fucking step back woman. If you think you can treat me...."

"Step back Luca," you repeated again calmly, but it only served to anger him more.

"STEP BACK! Step fucking back!! I will stand wherever I fucking want to stand," and with that he stepped even closer, to where the tip of his nose was touching yours. "You don't seem to understand anything going on."

"Actually I..."

"NO! Your precious brothers are going to have a bullet coming out of every fixing hole they have in ten seconds in you don't fucking listen," His hands were on your shoulders know gripping you roughly. The toothpick in his mouth almost stabbing you in the face as he spoke. "You are not the one in power here, I am. You do not make the calls, I do. I am the one who can tear apart everything you hold dear." Luca leaned his head back arrogantly, looking down at you over nose. He was still less than an arm's length part. "I have nine men and you have three. So who's to fucking stop me from killing your brothers and having my way with you right now?"

A shot rang though the air.

Luca's toothpick was still in his mouth, but now half of it had been blown to sawdust by the bullet passingly cleanly before his face. 

You just smiled...

"I told you to step back Luca..."

Every man in the ship yard ignored you, reaching for their guns, trying to find the shooter. Even your brothers looked around, slightly panicked, not knowing who fired the gun.... Or whose side they were on. The surprise of the shot, had loosened Luca's grip on you as you freed yourself and took a few steps back. Two more shots rang out from somewhere, landing close to Luca's feet, creating more space between the pair of you as he stumbled back. Then the shipyard went quiet again. Not a single man moved, for fear the next shots wouldn't be so harmless. Still searching for the ambusher Luca turned towards Tommy.

"I thought you said this was neutral ground! It's suppose to be private," He demanded, completely ignoring the fact he, himself had just threatened you on the very same neutral ground.

"It is. Or it's fucking suppose to be. I have no clue what's going on," Tommy replied, just as concerned. He should have known Alfie would play dirty. He hadn't counted on you doing it either though.

"But it's just that Mr. Changretta," clasping your hands together, you started towards the Italian man again, having no fear of getting shot. "As I told my brothers earlier, 'If he hates both of you he can't favor either of you. Thus neutral land is formed.' And I promise, Alfred Solomons hates both of you."

Luca huffed and narrowed his eyes. "I suppose this was your doing too?"

"Of course. See that 'you' is spelled without an 'me'.....and me, well I, have a very good relationship with a certain man's dog. And it is just amazing what a man will do when his dog likes you."

No one spoke so you continued. Though your face remained composed in an accomplished grin, you were almost bouncing on the balls of your feet due to your excitement. Your plan was going very nicely. Laughing, you carelessly spun around once, observing the mass of boxes and boats and building around you.

"They're amazing are they? Snipers? Could shoot your hat off from half a mile away  and you'd have never even heard the shot. Do you know how many snipers during the war were Jews? I don't, but I understand that Mr. Solomons employee a decent number of them. And when my dear friend heard of this whole marriage ploy?.....Well he righteously shared my outrage and offered to help me." Now you had taken to walking circles around your target. Now Luca realised that it was in fact you who had all the power, since the moment his tires hit the yard's ground. "And luckily for you, I did manage to curve his "help" from something a little bit less...murdery? Perhaps. After all, I do prefer to avoid violence if I can. There are so many more civilised methods than that...And finally we settled on this. The 'official engagement' taking place in this very yard, where I politely ask you to rethink your offer. And if you don't, we try to renegotiate.... and if you don't agree to that.... well. Luca you were wrong earlier..... I have far more than three men. All of who are very inclined to keep me safe. Now they've been instructed not to injury unless necessary, but that doesn't mean they can't give a warning shot. It doesn't mean they have to either. They were being very very nice just now. And you can't see them, but I promise they've had their sights on you for a while now. Why not give them a smile and then I'll tell you how this is gonna go." You opened your arms wide as if showing off everything. Luca just watched chewing on the half of his toothpick that remained. 

"How what's gonna go?" It actually wasn't Luca who spoke up. Nor was it your brothers. One of Luca's men, had asked the question. You turned and smiled at the man nodding you head once as if pleased that someone was participating. Luca made a mental note to beat the man later for encouraging you.

"See I really don't want to marry you. I don't love you. I don't even know you. There's also the fact you threatened everyone I love. But I also understand you and my brothers' small minds are incapable of imagining deals involving anything other than fighting or fucking and I don't particularly want to do either of those things with it right now. So I've come up with a new plan and who knows, maybe it'll work out in everyone's favour. Are you ready to hear it?" You paused waiting for a response. When none came you raised and eyebrow and made a point of glancing towards a rooftop over Luca's shoulder. "Do you want to know how this will work Luca?"

"Fine."

"Perfect! So you WILL take back your little finger paintings, but I will NOT be marrying you anytime soon. However, for the good of our families I am presenting another option. Luca Changtetta, I will NOT marry you on a whim, but," You paused for a moment for dramatic effect, waiting until Luca tilted his head. "Should you agree... I will let you take my hand in courtship for one year. And I promise it will not be easy for you. If you manage to whoo me, the you can have your marriage. If not.... Well then I should hope by that day we are close enough friends to put the past behind us and everyone can go their separate ways."

Luca tilted his head in confusion, "What?"

Bloody hell, this man needed to pick up a romance novel. Huffing slightly your reworded your demands. 

"Luca, you have a year to date me and make me fall in love with you. If you do I'll marry you. If not the you have a whole year to give up or come up with a better plan than killing everyone. Got it?"

"Why the fuck didn't you just say that in the first place? And what if I don't want to court you?"

"Because I didn't wanted to. And if you don't want to play then you can give up now or let the snipers play target practice."

Luca nodded his head and thought for a moment. The right choice was obvious as the fact that you were crazier than Alfred Solomons. After all, first you were threatening to kill him for trying to marry you, and now he had a year to change your mind. Luca's hand was still wrapped around his gun and he had half a mind to use it. The only thing keeping him from shooting you was the fact he knew, he'd have at least five bullets in him before he pulled the trigger. The obvious choice was to walk away now and give up the vendetta. You had just told him he could stop and you all could go your separate ways. No one else would have to die. All he had to do was give up, admitting you'd outsmarted him. He'd have to admit that you did hold all the power. 

"Well, Mr. Changretta? What do you think of my proposal?"

Luca didn't like admitting anyone else had the power... Even if looked very good on you. And so his choice was made.

"I suppose I better learn your favorite type of flower amore."

"Whatever kind you're most allergic to Romeo"

.....

And so it began...

[billthedrake]

This one I started a few months ago but didn’t get too far yet. It started off as a spinoff of Dads I’d Like to Fuck and took on a life of its own.

THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED JINX

Doing that cover was how I met my partner, my first one at least.

The Sports Illustrated issue had just dropped. A big cover photo of me, looking serious and posting with my bat, and the words "Miracle Worker" in big letters over my image. I was winding down my rookie season in the majors at the age of 21 and had exceeded high expectations. Life was good.

"Don't pay any attention to that jinx business," a man said as I was out a high-end steakhouse after a game, enjoying a drink in the bar area. "It's all bullshit."

The man was my type to a T. Late 40s, sturdy build, some gray in his medium-length hair, masculine dad-next-door looks. I am often guarded in public, but I gave him a big smile.

"Yeah?" I asked. "I sure hope so."

This man had an easy way about him. Confident, but not overly so. "It's definitely BS," he added. "Look at Trout. Didn't hurt his career one bit." His blue eyes seemed to sparkle as he talked, and I had to wonder if I was reading too much interest in them. Sexual interest. "But you don't need me to tell ya that, man."

I shrugged. "Well given how many people have brought up that fucking jinx," I said, "it's nice to hear a different point of view." I extended my hand. "Luke... nice to meet you." I mean, the guy clearly knew who I was, but I wanted to know who he was.

"Dan Ogle," he said, as he clasped my hand with an equally strong grip. In baseball you judge a man by his handshake. Dan was used to being judged. "It's an honor to meet you."

"You in the business?" I ventured.

"It shows?" he chuckled. "Yeah, I'm a scout. Was with the Orioles organization and now work independent."

"Smart move," I quipped. "The Orioles seem a mess lately."

"Ouch," he laughed harder. "That's tough, man." He gave my shoulder a friendly, gladhanding pat for a second. "Listen... I'm here to meet an agent buddy of mine..."

Something about his eye contact made me wonder if I could make a move. "Let me give you my number, Dan," I said.

The way his eyes lit up said I'd made the right call. Maybe he was just star struck. But I'd work that in my favor if it meant seeing more of that sun-weathered face and those sea-blue eyes. He pulled out his phone, and I told him my number.

****

The first drinks I grabbed with the guy was basically a date. We didn't call it that. But we made the usual small talk. Dan knew a lot more about me than I did about him. So I had him tell me his bio. He'd played in the majors a few years and got into the coaching side in some single-A team. Was frustrated by the lack of opportunities there so went into scouting. Was married once, no kids, divorced at 38.

I talked more about what it was like to be a star. Even if Dan Ogle was never a magazine-cover caliber player, he understood me. The benefits of being idolized and famous, and the drawbacks. I didn't talk about the latter with a lot of guys, but I felt I could with this pro-ball veteran.

Our eye contact got heavier as we talked. Like we knew what we were dancing around without coming out and saying it. Finally, I asked, "So, Dan... you able to be discreet?"

Without missing a beat he nodded. "Oh yeah. Absolutely." Those sea blue eyes staring back at me, with clear expectation.

"It's been a couple of months since I've gotten laid," I said, laying my cards on the table.

He let out a playful whistle. "Way too long, Luke."

"What about you?" I asked, finally nudging his knee under the bar. This was gonna happen, and I knew, and I was throwing hard in anticipation.

"About the same," he smirked.

"We should go fix that," I hissed.

"Now?" It wasn't a question of surprise. More, Dan was trying to read what was on my mind.

"If you're up for it... yeah, now." I knew my voice was getting that horny edge to it.

We settled up our check and I went over to Dan's hotel room. I wondered if we were going to have more conversation, maybe figure out what each other was into sexually. I was strictly top or into getting serviced. I normally got my way, but sometimes older guys think it should be the other way around.

But we didn't talk. Instead we met for a kiss as we rapidly stripped off our clothes. I'd barely unbuttoned my jeans when Dan crouched down in front of me, pawing my crotch and reaching in to pull out my cock.

"Damn, that's a big dick," he gasped. And then revealing he did not find that a problem in the least, the middle-aged ex-jock leaned forward and started sucking me.

"Holy shit!" I laughed. I wasn't 100% surprised Dan Ogle sucked cock. After all, I'd met up with older guys who liked to fool around. But I was surprised he was so into it, so good at it. He sucked me fast and hard, like it was his last cock ever. I didn't think that the almost rough sucking would feel good, but it was incredible. Those long fast mouth strokes and that heavy suction were gonna get me to nut, too soon.

"Ease up, man!" I gasped. "I'm almost cumming."

The veteran ex-jock spit out my prick and sucked in some air, as he swallowed that excess spit. "Yeah?" he teased, now hand stroking my bat. "What would be wrong with that?" The man was horny, and I loved how thrilled he seemed to be about sex. No hang ups whatsoever. That was a first for me, actually.

"Come on, man," I almost complained. "Let me at least feel up your body for a bit, you know... enjoy this some."

That took Ogle by surprise. I think he thought I'd just want to shut my eyes and use his mouth or something. Maybe that's what dudes like me had done before with him. Leaning back, he showed off his bare chest. "Didn't think you'd be into all this, man," he smiled.

"You have no fucking idea," I growled. I could unload my daddy issues on Dan later and tell him how I was wired for men over 40, but for now, I just wanted that physical contact with that more mature muscle. "Let's get on the bed," I urged.

I stripped off the rest of the way and ate up the way Dan's eyes feasted on my nakedness and my erect state. Maybe it was the ego boost he needed to strip down all the way and almost pose for me as he got on the bed. His body wasn't perfect but it was pretty damn nice. Strong muscle, just the right amount of hair, amazing legs. Dan had been a catcher back when he played.

His body felt hot to the touch when we embraced. He was a good kisser and seemed to get into the sensual, slow approach. I matched his speed, even as I was horny as fuck and leaking against his furry belly. We made out and rolled around some, and I ended up on top of him. Heart pounding against his chest and his strong grip feeling up my lat muscle.

When I pulled back from our lip lock the 40-something scout had need in his eye. "You wanna be in me, Luke?" he asked softly.

"Hell yes," I growled.

He smiled. "I got some lube in my bag in the bathroom, if you wanna get it. Rubbers if you want, too."

I hoisted my athletic body out of bed and went to get the stuff, my dick sticking straight out like a divining rod. The stuff was easy to find. Indeed next to the small lube bottle there were two foil packets. I loved that a man like Dan came prepared.

I didn't take a condom, though, and I could read Ogle's silent excitement as he saw me empty handed other than the lube. I flipped the cap and squirted the slickness onto my fingers as I got up on the bed. Any other time, I'd enjoy more foreplay and rim him out some. I loved eating ass, and an ex-catcher daddy would be one hell of a feast. But I needed to fuck.

He hissed at the first finger but the second went in like butter. Dan Ogle wasn't a slut bottom, but this wasn't his first rodeo. As I lined up my cock, I was excited to be topping such a hot guy. It was still sinking in that I was a lucky bastard.

"That's good," Dan said softly as I pushed in. His sea blues were looking up, and he was nodding slightly as I pushed on. I knew why. He was tight as fuck and he knew I wouldn't be able to read if he was good to go. Thankfully, he was.

"You have an amazing ass," I grunted as I bottomed out. He was hot and snug and his insides felt alive around my cock.

Dan was horned up, and his dick twitched on his furry belly. He had some love handles but otherwise was total DILF. "I can't believe you're here fucking me," he almost laughed.

I held my body steady for him, his legs on my shoulders. "You ever fantasize about me?"

"Didn't dream to," he admitted.

"But a player like me, right?" I nudged him mentally. "You always wanted to get nailed by a guy like me." That second part was now statement, not a question.

"Jesus," Dan growled, a deep belly growl. "Fuck yes."

"You got it, man," I said and just started fucking. Not hard, but it was a deep steady fuck and I was hung enough for him to feel it.

He stroked as I railed him then let go when he was getting too close.

"Go ahead," I urged. "I'm pretty close, too."

I watched him stroke and I watched his hand work up his pleasure in tandem with the internal stimulation I was giving him. Then I watched the 40-something ex-catcher spew his pearly white seed all over that gorgeous daddy fur.

"FUCK!" I grunted and felt my own cum rising up, all of a sudden. Two months was a long time between lays. I held his legs tightly and humped his ass with a couple of final fast strokes.

I was flush red and breathing fast as I came down. Dan laughed at me some, and I laughed with him. "I needed that, buddy," I said, giving his meaty chest a playful dual fist bump before I leaned back and slowly pulled out.

I had to watch the slight creampie in his hole before it shut back up. A conquest trophy.

"I could tell," Dan grinned as he lowered his legs and shook out the stiffness. "I don't normally like it missionary, but that was hot as fuck."

I grinned, plopping down on the bed. "It was."

Dan gave me one last look, like he still couldn't believe his luck and still couldn't believe this happened. I got that look a lot, and I always ate it up. "Gonna shower off," he announced.

He was back to normal when he got back. A little quiet, maybe moody. I didn't know his deal, but I wasn't gonna find out. I took a piss and got dressed.

"Take care, man," I said as I got ready to leave. He was on his phone, checking on texts or something.

He looked up. "Yeah. Have a good one."

I got the message. One time thing. OK by me. I was a player, a hunter, always onto the next lay. One time things were my MO.

Only the next morning I awoke to a text. Dan Ogle's text, sent fifteen minutes earlier. "I got an 11AM plane to catch. But maybe I can interest you in a morning BJ before I go?"

I texted him a thumbs up and my hotel and room number.

****

It's not as easy having groupie sex when you're into guys as when you're straight. But it happens for me far more than you'd imagine. I just have to be cautious with my approach, feel a guy out. The thing is, if a guy has a remote bi-curious streak, it's almost a sure thing that a star athlete will be able to exploit it. The star struck thing goes a long fucking way, and guys felt excited to be close to me. Even if only for an hour or a night, they were getting one-on-one Luke Fulton time.

My first groupie was when I was still in the minors. But I was clearly a top prospect in the farm system and come Spring Training I had a chance to practice and play with the big league guys.

I was gathering up my stuff after an afternoon game versus the Tigers when I saw him. A few of the guys would meet with fans after, but this man seemed to be waiting for me. He was very much a typical corporate looking dude. Medium height, golf shirt, golf tan, khaki shorts, ball cap, expensive watch, dad sneakers. Meaty dadbod build filling it all out and looking pretty good for a man in his 50s.

"Hi Luke," he said, polite but also forward. "Can I get your autograph?"

That was my first request for one, actually. I smiled. "Yeah?" I said, registering my surprise. "Um, sure."

I walked up and set down my bag. He handed me a pad and a pen. "You're gonna be the biggest star," he said, referencing the pro team name whose roster I was vying for. His gaze was on me, like he was trying to memorize the whole encounter for later. That was my first taste of groupies, the way they might not even be showing sexual interest but they clearly are into me and being around me.

"I'm not 21 yet," I reminded him.

"Well, I've been watching your progress. Ever since the draft." OK, Corporate Dude was one of THOSE fans.

"Who should I make this out to?" I asked, maintaining equally heavy eye contact. Corporate Daddy was good looking in a normal way, and that turned me on, too. He reminded me of the men in my hometown. I even flashed a wink, nothing too over the top, but doing as much flirting as I dared.

"Jim," he said. "God..." he continued as he watched me write my dedication and sign my name. "This is really cool."

I looked up and flashed my grin. "Isn't this what you come to Spring Training for?" I asked. "To meet the players?" Maybe I was starting to lay it on thick.

Jim was gung ho, though. "It's my second year here, but yeah... the chance to talk to you guys is incredible."

His eye contact was heavy and his wedding band made me think he wasn't the blabbing type. I still consider a band the best insurance when hitting on a guy. I took another paper out of that pad and wrote my number on it.

The man seemed embarrassed. "What's that for?" He asked.

Goddamnit. I guess I misjudged. "Never mind," I said, maybe a little curtly. After all, it wasn't any guy I gave my number. I started to grab the paper back.

He blushed, getting it, really getting. "Oh. That's cool, that's man. I'll keep it. If that's OK."

I nodded. "Just keep it private, OK?" I meant my number but also the fact that I'd given it to him.

"Oh yeah," he said.

I gave him one more wink and picked up my bag to walk back to the locker room.

It was an hour later when I got a text. "Hey. It's Jim. Thanks for giving me your number."

"Thanks for using it," I typed back. I was hanging out with some of the guys from the team, about to get some dinner.

I didn't hear back for a few minutes, then I got another text. "I don't normally do this kind of thing."

"It's cool man. I don't bite. No strings no expectations." I didn't have my mojo down, but I knew with a guy like this corporate dad you had to reassure him.

"What are you looking for?" I could almost sense his nervousness on his end.

"That's something better talked about in person," I wrote.

"Yeah," he acknowledged. Then "I'm around all week."

"Tonight?" I wrote. "9?"

"Yes."

He gave me his hotel info, which worked better. I was in a good mood when I showed up and gave a soft knock.

Jim had a nervous, naughty look as he ushered me in. "Hey..." he said as he shut the door behind me. "I shouldn't be doing this."

I got it. I'd met married men with misgivings before, but none as strong as this man's.

I paused and looked at him, giving him my best friendly expression. Giving him an out. "It's up to you, man. I'm not gonna pressure you."

He thought for a second. It was like I knew what he was thinking. Wondering if he'd ever get another chance at this. "I wanna," he replied.

"Cool," I said and stepped up to him. I'm used to seeing athletes and coaches all day, so sometimes a normal build like Jim's pales in comparison. But now that I was there, up close, he looked pretty damn fine. My hand touched his chest through his golf shirt and moved down to feel up his sides. I drew him closer to me, being forward now to claim a kiss off him.

He grunted as our lips met. I slipped my tongue forward and felt his excitement grow as his lips part and accepted it. We made out for a minute, which is the surest way to get my motor running. I was rock hard now, for sure.

I pulled back and examined his handsome face. "I guess I should have asked if you kissed," I said.

He exhaled a breath he'd been holding. "Yeah... that was my first kiss with a man, actually."

I cocked a grin. "Whaddya think?"

"'s pretty wild," he answered honestly. "But good."

My fingers now caressed his side, and I could sense he was getting majorly hard, too. "You done anything with a guy?" I needed to know where I stood.

He shook his head. "Back in college. You know some fooling around with fraternity brothers. A couple of blow jobs, that kind of thing."

I cocked my eyebrow. "You ever give one?"

Jim blushed some, making his reddish tan redder. "Yeah... it was years ago."

I pulled him closer to me, so he could feel my hardon against his own. "I'd very much enjoy getting one, man... if you're up for it." He was warming up to the idea, I could tell, but I wanted to head off any hesitation. "It's just us here. No one's gonna know."

"I don't know if I'm any good," he objected.

I moved my hand up and patted his shoulder. "Trust me, I'll love it." I didn't throw in a "pretty, please," but I was being as gradual and coaxing as I knew how to be. "Come on, why don't you sit on the bed?"

He nodded and stepped back from me. He was rock hard in his khaki shorts, which was a good sign. And as he settled on his hotel bed, his look was one of excitement more than nervousness.

I didn't want to spook him, but I was getting crazy horny. Jim was pushing my buttons big time. I stepped up till I stood about a foot in front of him. Then slowly, I undid my shorts and pulled out my boner.

Some guys comment on my size when they first see my endowment, but Jim just silently watched, eyes going wide.

"It's OK, bud," I assured him. "Just take what you feel comfortable with." I scooted closer so my hardon was an inch or so away from him. His licks were tentative, then less so. I could sense the novelty for him, and the thrill that came with that. I knew this was the last thing he expected to be doing on this trip.

"You've done this before, man," I urged. "You got this."

He nodded and then opened his lips to take me in. He bobbed up and down on a few inches. Jim wasn't lying. He wasn't any good at this. But I loved the feeling of his warm mouth and the wet tongue against my steel-hard dick. And I loved the rush of seeing this regular married daddy servicing me. I let him do his thing for a minute then spoke again.

"Feels nice," I encouraged him. Then, "Just suck me like you enjoy being sucked, man."

That seemed to make something click for him, and he adjusted his blowjob. Jim wasn't gonna be a pro cocksucker any time soon, but THIS was a lot better. He flenched when my hand touched his hair, but when he realized I was just gonna stroke his head in encouragement he relaxed back into it.

"Take your time, bud," I hissed, spreading my stance a little. "Takes me a good couple of minutes to work up a head of steam. But this feels awesome."

It did, and the physical sensations were starting to build up. But I also imagined this guy sucking dudes back home, showing off what he'd learned on me. That was the trigger that got me off.

"You better swallow, man," I growled. Mr. Easygoing was gone. I didn't want him pulling off. Maybe my fingers curled around the back of his head to keep him from retreating.

He grunted. Agreement, I guess. But he kept sucking as I spurted into his craw. I heard a choked sound, but it wasn't an actual choking. Mostly a grunt of excitement as he tasted, then swallowed, as fast I was pumping more sperm into his mouth and throat.

"Damn, that was nice," I hissed as I let go of his head and finally stepped back out of his sucking mouth.

"Did I do OK?" he asked, voice thick with my cum still. Something about that question was adorable and exciting both.

I smiled. "Fuck yea you did." I nodded down to his hard crotch. "You need to get off?"

He unzipped. Clearly, sucking me had worked him up. He spit into his palm and I watched him start pulling his pud. It wasn't gonna take him long, not from the excited look in his eyes and the fast fist motion. I stepped closer and let my dong sway in front of his face.

That got him going. "You got a great cock," he admitted.

"And you sucked it," I reminded him.

"Yes," he grunted, and like that he was cumming.

"That's it, man," I urged.

Our release complete, I stepped back and tucked back in as he wiped himself with a Kleenex. His mood shifted some.

"We good man?" I asked. He could have all the guilt pangs he wanted, but I didn't want a full-on freak out.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Thanks for that.... I'm gonna remember that for a long while."

"If you wanna make some more memories this week, you know where to reach me."

[untitledmemes]

Hazbin Hotel Prompts

Part IV An assortment of prompts taken from the series Hazbin Hotel on Amazon Prime. Adjust as necessary to fit pronoun and/or descriptor. In case of Multimuse, don't forget to specify which one/s. Reblog, please do not repost or add.

“ Where is miss fearless leader anyway? ”

“ Isn't it about time for another 'doomed to fail' plan? ”

“ Oh, you look an absolute mess. ”

“ I have enough on my mind without hearing your sadistic idea of a joke, asshole. ”

“ How can I face them after failing them all so hard? ”

“ I never expected to see such a miserable display of self loathing from you. ”

“ I don't know how you can enjoy all this suffering so much. ”

“ Just because you see a smile, don't think you know what's going on underneath. ”

“ I know something you don't know. ”

“ Then... Let's make a deal. ”

“ What's a favor between friends? ”

“ I didn't even know that was possible. ”

“ They say insane shit all the time. How was I supposed to know this one was true? ”

“ There's a friend of mine I think you should meet. ”

“ Oh, my, stars. Do my eyes deceive me? ”

“ I know you're an ace in the hole. ”

“ Oh, always such a charmer. ”

“ Wow. When you ask a favor, you don't start small, do you? ”

“ I like your moxie, girl. ”

“ We can talk about it inside or I can yell about it out here. ”

“ Clearly I am not the helpless one here. ”

“ Why wouldn't you use what you know to fight?. ”

“ It's not rocket science. ”

“ You fight like someone unafraid of harm, and this is what you'll take advantage of. ”

“ How has no one else figured this out? ”

“ You need a different type of motivation or there's no way that you can handle this. ”

“ We're going to need more weapons. ”

“ What do you do when someone you love lies to you about who they are? ”

“ Romance? My specialty. ”

“ It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love. ”

“ She's flawed. But, hey, who down here isn't? ”

“ Words are cheap. Actions, they speak the truth. ”

“ Have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it? ”

“ That's a little violent, can we tone it down? ”

“ I concur, stick with her, you'll be on the winning side. ”

“ I really hope that I'm ready for this. ”

“ I ain't finding no new drinking buddies. ”

“ Teamwork makes the dreamwork. ”

“ What in the hell are you supposed to be? ”

“ Look, I can't resist a fight, okay? ”

“ Here's to being alive today and not dying tomorrow. ”

“ I guess you have changed. ”

“ You are... Have always been a worthy opponent. ”

“ Destroy that ass! ”

“ Let the slaughter begin. ”

“ Trying to focus, sweetie. ”

“ I am so hard right now. ”

“ You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate. ”

“ I'm going to wipe that shit eating grin off your face. ”

“ This is better than sex! ”

“ Get somewhere safe. ”

“ You did good, buddy. ”

“ Look who thinks they're badass now. ”

“ You always were weak. ”

“ Ready to die rather than accepting mercy? No. Live. ”

“ Gotta say, you really let yourself go, buddy. ”

“ Don't forget, you're in my house, bitch! ”

“ How's mercy taste, you little bitch? ”

“ Take your little friends and go home! Please. ”

“ Come on, little lady, why the frown? ”

“ You can't quit now. Hell, you owe it. ”

“ Sorry to disappoint this is not where this ends. ”

“ Once I figure out how to unclip my wings, guess who will be pulling all the string. ”

“ Your deal is done, and I'm in charge now. ”

[milkywaydrabbles]

If it's quite alright with you, I would like to request Castlevania's Alucard with a female s/o who helped take dracula down. I imagine she takes Grant's place from the videogame,(they never adapted him in the anime 😔).

Love to see Alucard with a bossy, mischievous girl boss.

A/N: Hello aaa thank you for the request!! I had to do some background checking on Grant since I didn't actually play the games (fake fan fr) so I hope this sounds okay! I rewrote this like 4 times because I didn't know if HCs or a full drabble would be better ;A;

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this! It was fun writing a S/O like this!

TW: none!

Alucard with a sassy S/O ☼Oh, she was bossy alright. After the curse was lifted and she realized she had supernatural powers that never went away after being turned back to human from that demonic form (don’t ever ask her how that came to be, she’ll just shrug. How do you even explain that?) she felt more invigorated to go and fight Dracula, completely ignoring the three that saved her life. ☼“A thank you would be nice” Trevor would grumble, and she’d turn around with a taunting smirk. “I would say thank you if it weren’t for the fact you almost killed me along the way.” Was her retort, and before Belmont and company could even speak she marched her way along to the castle. “Are you coming?” she questioned ☼If y’all thought the trio was fun with their bickering you should see the way she gangs up on Trevor with Alucard! But only when Sypha wasn’t around, she had to maintain an image around the woman (that she wasn’t just as childish as the boys were, liar.) ☼“Come on Belmont, don’t listen to Alucard. I think your whip is cool. Just...not as cool as the magical sword that floats around him all the time.” She’d throw a wink at the Dhampir, who couldn’t help but blush up his neck and cough into his hand to cover up his embarrassment.  ☼Turns out, she was actually super helpful in the fight against the night creatures that crawled around Dracula’s castle, along with the vampire generals. Effortlessly jumping from wall to wall, slicing through skin and cracking bone with superhuman strength and a dagger, she really did help clear the way to Dracula for them to finish the job. ☼With all said and done, Trevor and Sypha packed up to leave, Alucard assumed you’d be going with them. ☼Imagine everyone’s shock when you shyly looked down at your scuffed boots and asked if it would ‘be alright if I stayed around. I quite like it here with you’.  ☼The teasing that would ensue from the nomadic duo would be endless until they finally left.  ☼Fast forward after defeating Death, and village Belmont being established (she still calls his Village Treffy) she’s just as fiery as she was in the beginning. The only difference is the outward love and affection she shows Alucard. And if anyone said anything about it, she’d simply flick them off with a middle finger. ☼Sometimes though, that didn’t work out the best in her favor, and would come home with cuts and bruises.

“My love, please don’t think you have to fight for my honor or something ridiculous like that.” Alucard would sigh, lightly dabbing at the cut above her eyebrow, apologizing silently when she winced. “Adrian, how am I supposed to let it go when they have something awful to say about you? You let them live on your land, build them a village, saved them from Danesti. And they have the nerve to insult you for being half vampire!” You got too animated, clutching your head where the blow landed. Alucard clicked his tongue, continuing to care of the cuts and bruises. 

“Plus, if you think I look bad you should see the other guy.” She joked, flexing an arm that wasn’t currently being bandaged up. “You didn’t think I’d lose did you? I have to look cool for our nephew that's on the way!"

Oh, he was absolutely smitten with her.

[goldenspecter]

Once again, I am wishing Rise fans can praise the movie without insulting/demeaning other iterations of TMNT. It's absolutely frustrating, as a fan of all the iterations plus Rise, constantly seeing people go "Rise did the Raph/Leo fight better than other where it's not just "Who's a better Leader/Leader" fights!" when not that's not the case. Rise didn't do it 'better' than the others, they just made it much more explicit, without using leadership as the framing of the fight, but the other iterations are not actually fighting about Leadership. (Hell, I would even argue I'll argue the others were very clear about it too, fans just didn't care to pay attention to the text of canon and just walked away from it as "Raph and Leo fighting about Leadership, again”) Let me explain what I mean, Raph and Leo in other iterations do fight quite a bit, yeah sure, but they are not fighting about “who should be leader” but the thing they are arguing about is painted with the framing of 'leadership/I'm the better leader.' Hell, Raph and Leo argue often because they are both the same people, but who have different approaches to the world, and the fact that one of Raph's roles in the franchise itself is to balance the team, especially Leo and call him out on his bullshit/hypocrisy.  Ignoring the contexts of these fights and just trying to frame these fights as just being about “who the better leader” heavily negates the fact the importance of Raph's role and make it sounds like Raph is being an asshole and arguing just for the sake of it and ignoring the very valid points they made. Not to mention, it also negates that TMNT, as a franchise, has attempted to tackle bigger ideas for a long time and makes other versions sound juvenile and childish with these fights being incorrectly boiled down to "Who's the better leader." 2003 TMNT has a great, the best example of this, with the City at War. The context for those who don't remember/haven't watched it: because of the Turtles defeating Shredder earlier in the season, there is now a power vacuum with the Shredder being absent and various gangs/mobs are trying to fill that vacuum. Leo and Raph are split on what should be done. Leo believes they are responsible for innocent people being hurt in the crossfire of gangs vying for power since this was a consequence of them defeating the Shredder and that they should do something about it. Raph on the other hand, does not agree with this take, believing that they had done their part and they don't need to be involved any further.

Raphael: Are you out of your green gourd? We did the city a favor.

Leonardo: Did we? Did we really? [The other two turtles arrive.] Raph, don’t you see what’s going on up there? This city’s at war. Don’t you feel just a little bit responsible?

Raphael: No. It’s not our deal.

Leonardo: It is! Even if we didn’t mean to make things worse, we did. [Donatello and Michelangelo look at each other.] Don’t ask me to explain how, but it feels like our fault.

-City At War, Part One This facet of their fight continues for the rest of the 3 episode arc, with Raph constantly protesting that this situation they are now in was something they should never have gotten involved in, and Leo constantly upholding that this was the right thing to do. The idea of Leadership or who would be the better leader had never come up once during that arc. 2003 Raph just never cared for leadership. He had no reason to fight for it, however, the few times he does fight with Leo, it is not about leadership or who would be the better leader. It is their morality that is being put up for conflict and their ideologies/worldviews clashing. Regarding 2007, I am very certain many people forget that at this point in time, EVERYONE thought that Leo abandoned Raph, Donnie, and Mike. Like point blank period. Leo had no intention of returning; his brothers were seen to be lost without him and had no way to move forward without him. Especially Raph, who gets frustrated that Leo refuses to get to know the three boys who have CHANGED and GREW during the time he was gone and expected them to fall back in line as they did as younger teenagers. It became even more unfair and frustrating on Raph and the others’ end that Leo, who abandoned them, comes back and tries to upend something that no one else was doing, without refusing to understand WHY it was going on and refusing to share empathy. During the year that Leo was gone, they were all FORCED to grow up without a big brother by their side, in ways that drove them apart and it wasn't healthy for them, but they were still growing. Leo doesn't put in the WORK to get them back together so they can all work to grow together as a team, in a more healthy manner so I think Raph has every right to be frustrated with Leo at that point, who unironically expected them to regress to a version of themselves that he knew before HE left so he can lead them without being empathetic.

Raph: You are so smug, you know that? You think the world revolves around you, don't you? We couldn't survive without the mighty and powerful Leonardo to guide us through our problems. Well, I got a news flash for you: We got along just fine without you.

Leo: Oh, and this qualifies as "just fine"? Dressing up like it's Halloween every night? Risking the safety of our family? I mean, come on, what were you thinking?

Raph: Don't push it, Leo. You can't leave and come back....expecting us to fall in line like your little soldiers.

Leo: Hey, I was training. Training to be a better leader, for you. Why do you hate me for that?

Raph: And whoever said I wanted to be led? I'm better off calling my own shots now. Get used to it.

Leo: You aren't ready. You're impatient and hot-tempered. And more importantly, I'm better than you.

Yeah, Raph also makes mistakes(him being reckless, and possibly putting himself/the family in danger with the Nightwatcher persona), but Leo's are just as egregious. Yes, leadership is used as a way to frame this fight, but ultimately, that is NOT what the original fight was about. For the IDW Turtles: Raph has gotten onto Leo's case multiple times for things that could possibly endanger their family as well as Leo's hypocritical nature that Leo has. There are too many examples to pinpoint just one. For the Bayverse films, Raph and Leo don't even argue/have major arguments in the first one. Hell, Raphael is the one who encourages his two younger brothers to follow after Leo when Donnie is about to question Leo's orders.

Leo:Yeah. Let's play Buck-Buck.

Donnie: But why would we...

Raph No. We do what Leo says. Lead the way.

I'll focus on the second one. The fight here was not about "who would be the better leader," it was NEVER about that. This fight here, was about Leo's awful actions as both a leader *and* older brother, the MAIN thing being his deception to Raphael and Mikey about the purple ooze and how it could turn them human, how he forced Donnie to take part in said deception and not allowing them to have a say in the matter. Leo revoked both Raphael's and Michelangelo's autonomy to make such an important decision that affected all of them, as well as the fact he considered his own vote to be superior of them all.

Raph: Pop quiz. What are the three most important traits of the ninja?

Leo: Speed. Stealth.

Raph: And honor. Where's the honor in keeping secrets from your brothers? Leo: I don't know what you're talking about.

Raph: So now you're adding lying to the list.

Leo: If you're referring to what Donnie told me about the purple ooze, it's called "compartmentalization of information."

Raph: If there's even a chance that ooze can make us human...

Leo: We're turtles, whether you like it or not.

Raph: It's not about what I like, it's about what people up there are willing to accept.

Leo: True acceptance only comes from within.

Raph: Don't give me that fortune cookie muck! You should consult with us before you decide to do something like that!

Leo: I consulted Donnie. And we decided...

Raph: And what about Mikey? He don't get a vote?

Leo: There's only one vote that counts in this family! Mine!

This superiority and arrogance that Leonardo feels about himself has been called out not only by Raphael but also by Splinter and his other brothers, and had constantly proved itself to be detrimental to Leo at multiple times in the film. But again, this fight was not about ''who could be the better leader." The only time Raph really fought with Leo over leadership was 2012, and the fight itself wasn't even initially about leadership but rather the execution of a plan, but then actually BECAME about leadership/who would be the better Leader.

Leo: We'll take Snakeweed from above. Tie him up in the clotheslines. Come on.

Raph: That'll take forever, and we have to stop Snakeweed now! I mean, he's kidnapping people.

Mikey: Not just people, people who bring pizza.

L.eo: We take him from above. Let's move!

Raph: And the award for worst leader goes to-

Leo: How am I the worst leader?

Raph: If we did this my way, Snakeweed would be toast by now.

Mikey: Ugh. That'd be some nasty toast.

Leo: This way would've worked if you hadn't wasted time second-guessing my orders.

Raph: Don't give bad orders, and I won't second-guess 'em.

Leo: You know what, Raph? If you think you could do better, why don't you lead?

Raph: First good idea you've had all day.

There’s also the the S4 episode “Riddle of The Ancient Aeons,” where the fight is about leadership/has the framing of leadership, but was in truth about something much deeper, see here:

Leo:Bummer? Look what happened to their world. You have about as much sensitivity as a rabid dog.

Raph:Look, just because you're leader doesn't mean you have to get into everyone's face.

Leo:Don't start on that leader thing again, Raph. You've always been jealous of me.

Raph:Jealous?! [April and Casey hold him back.]Maybe that's because you were always Splinter's favorite!

[He lunged toward, sais in his hands. Leo urged him a deep hug which suddenly calm Raph down.]

Leo:Raph, I love you, bro.

Raph:Leo, I-I'm sorry. I don't understand what's going on.

Rise didn't do anything "Better" they just made the argument much more explicit without the "who would be a better Leader" thing as a cover, the frame, or the crutch for it. To constantly paint each an every fight that Leo and Raph have as "Who should be Leader/I'm the better leader" is disingenuous at best and downright deceptive at worst to the other iterations, especially when many have neither: a. seen the previous iterations, b. don't understand the actual context that was presented, or c. both.

Before anyone comes into my notifications and tries to argue with me that I'm saying ''you can't make comparisons to other iterations" when no, I'm not. You absolutely can make comparisons, but making comparisons and framing them to make it as though Rise was the first to do something is not fair to neither Rise nor the other iterations that laid down the stepping stones that built up to Rise.

[the-bau-quinjet]

Six Years

Summary: Y/N forgets her life with Steve, but it's not as simple as just remembering.

Warnings: uh angst maybe?, migraines, nothing that bad I think

Word Count: 12,901

a/n: look I am and always will be a Steve girly. Chris finally winning Sexiest Man may have inspired me to finish this

Masterlist

If you had to choose one word for how you felt in this exact moment, it would be tired. Granted, that’s not an uncommon occurrence, but it just felt… more this time. Your eyelids felt like paperweights, far too heavy to even consider opening. Your entire body was fighting your consciousness, begging you for more sleep. Who were you to say no to another five minutes?

You let out a low groan, rolling over to find a more comfortable position. Your body protested the move, but if you were going to fall back to sleep you absolutely had to roll over.

"Y/N?" You were too tired to really pay attention to the voice, simply responding with your current plan of action.

"Five more minutes," you grumbled inaudibly, barely able to form the words. Your throat was too dry. It felt as though you hadn't used your voice for weeks.

"What?" The voice was closer this time. You managed to clear your throat, doing nothing to hide your annoyance at being disturbed.

"I said, five more minutes," your throat scratched as you spoke louder, only resulting in another groan from you.

Of all the things you expected in response to that statement, laughter was pretty low on the list. Maybe if they were laughing because you were supposed to be up an hour ago and you were going to be late for work, but that wasn't what you heard.

No, this laughter was shocked, maybe a bit disbelieving, but overall happy. As if the person laughing was pleased to hear your early morning grumbling. Well, at least you assumed it was morning.

You rolled toward the voice, still fighting with your eyelids to open, When you finally managed it, your eyes burned from the harsh light. It didn't even feel overly bright, but it seems you'd grown used to the dark and weren't ready to face daylight again.

"Why are you laughing at me?" you groaned, finally accepting the fact that you were now awake. Although, you regretted that almost instantly. Being awake enough to open your eyes meant being awake enough to feel how sore and worn out your body felt. "And what the hell did I drink last night?"

The last thing you remember, you were coming home from your last final, ready to party it up with your roommate. You don't even remember opening the drinks, let alone any partying that came after.

"I'm sorry..." You refocused on the voice, rubbing your eyes in an attempt to get used to the lights. "It's not funny. Just, only you would ask for five more minutes after waking up from a coma. Steve's gonna be so pissed he wasn't here."

A coma? Steve? Your thoughts were suddenly racing. You finally managed to open your eyes well enough to see, voice failing you as you took in your surroundings. The voice was definitely not your roommate. In fact, it was a brunette man you don't recall ever meeting before. And you were not, in fact, in your bed- or even in your apartment.

The room looked like a hospital, but fancier. Maybe a private facility? You could hear the faintest of beeps indicating your heart was in fact pumping. It wasn't as jarring as the equipment in an actual hospital. You would know. You worked in one.

"Where am I? What happened? Who..." you trailed off when you noticed the mystery man's metal arm. He seemed relieved to see you were okay, although he was ignoring you in favor of texting someone. When he finally looked up, you nearly stopped breathing. Good lord, that man is attractive.

You opened your mouth to ask more questions when the door on the other side of the room flew open. Startled by the sudden noise, you shrieked, turning with wide eyes to stare at the intruder.

It was another mystery man, blonde this time. Also wickedly attractive. What are they feeding these people? His blue eyes were filled with relief, although you had no idea why it would be over you. Yet again, the second you opened your mouth the brunette started talking.

"She just woke up punk, take a deep breath," he chuckled when the blonde glared at him.

"And I would have been here for it if you didn't make me leave, jerk," he huffed in response, only confusing you more. Why was he so pressed to be here when you woke up? You looked between them, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed. It seemed the movement caught their attention, suddenly two pairs of blue eyes were focused on you.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay?" The blonde one took your hand, holding it with a gentleness you wouldn't expect from such a large person. Your gaze flickered between his eyes and his hand, confusion still fogging up your brain.

"What happened?" you started with the basics. "Where am I?" Something was telling you not to ask about the identity of the men with you. It felt as though they knew who you were, and you wanted answers.

"You're in the med bay. The last mission you were on, it was a setup." The brunette started to answer your questions, but he trailed off when he noticed your confusion only grew with each word he spoke.

"What mission?" you emphasized the word, thrown off by the men acting like you're some sort of spy.

"What's the last thing you remember?" The brunette asked the question. The blonde was beginning to make you nervous with his aggressive staring, even if it seemed to be coming from a good place.

"I... I just finished my last final. It was my last class before graduation, and I was planning to go out with Jess to celebrate being done with school..." The answers to your previous questions did very little to fill you in, so you asked the obvious question you'd been holding back. "Who are you?"

The two men tilted their heads, their confusion clearly evident. It would have been funny how similar they reacted if you weren't so damn confused.

It was their turn to be cut off by the arrival of somebody new. Or in this case, multiple somebodies. The med bay, as the brunette put it, was suddenly full of people, none of whom seemed familiar to you in the least. At least not on a personal level.

"Tony Stark?" you whispered, but it seemed some of them still heard you.

"You really asked for five more minutes after being in a coma for a month?" Tony Stark himself spoke as if he knew you personally, really adding to the headache you've felt growing since you woke up. Although, Tony's presence did do one good thing for you. It suddenly clicked who the two mystery men were.

Realizing you are in the presence of the Avengers, while trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, combined with hearing some sort of mission put you in a coma for a month really took a lot out of a person.

"I kind of wish I just went back to sleep," you muttered, rubbing your head with your free hand since the newly identified Steve Rogers was still holding the other one.

"The last thing you remember is finishing college?" he finally spoke up, earning confused looks from everyone but the other newly identified man, Bucky Barnes.

"Yes? I mean, I think so..." The room grew quiet after your admission, nobody knowing where to go from there. "How long ago was that?"

Suddenly, the pattern of the tiles on the floor grew more interesting than this conversation for nearly everyone in the room. The only one who maintained eye contact was Steve. You could see the hurt in his eyes when he finally admitted just how much of your life you'd forgotten.

"Six years ago," he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. You squeezed his hand when the new information registered, needing something to anchor you or else you may just pass out again.

"Si-six years? It's been six years? What the fuck happened to me?" Your breathing sped up as you began to panic, the feeling of the medical equipment stuck to you was too much. Everything was too much. Nothing made sense. "No. No that can't be right. No, because I just finished school..."

The room started spinning. Everyone was staring at you, their mouths moving but you couldn't hear any words. Your eyes flickered from one face to another, the panic growing with each second you couldn't make out what they were saying, and then everything went black.

-

You groaned as you woke up, body still aching. For a few blissful seconds, you forgot about the team of heroes who informed you six years of your life had passed. The ignorance didn't last long, resulting in your eyes flying open and your body sitting up.

The first person you saw was none other than your college roommate and best friend, Jess. After scanning the room, you realized it was just the two of you. She was looking at you with clear worry.

"Jess, thank God. I had the weirdest dream..." You shook your head, still trying to make sense of the brief period of time you thought you were in a coma. "I was in a coma and the Avengers were there... What the hell did I drink last night?" you chuckled, smile slowly falling when Jess didn't respond.

When she ran a hand through her hair and sighed, you knew it wasn't a dream. It was her tell. She did it every time she had bad news, like the time she bailed on you to go on a date, and the time you forced her to check your grade on a really hard exam because you were too scared to look.

"I was in a coma?" You took a few deep breaths, trying to make sense of what in the hell was going on. "It's actually been six years?"

"It has," she nodded. "They called me when you woke up, but I didn't get here fast enough." She pulled a chair next to your bed, finally coming close enough for you to see a bandage on her hand.

"What did you do this time?" you joked, finding comfort in her still being as clumsy as you remember. The tears in her eyes were unexpected.

"I cut it when they told me you were awake." She let out a soft chuckle, wiping the few stray tears. "I was so surprised, I stopped paying attention to what I was doing. Pretty ironic you couldn't heal it for me." Her eyes went wide when she realized what she said.

"Heal it?" you asked, confusion still plaguing your thoughts. Suddenly, memories of an explosion flashed through your mind, accompanied by searing pain in your head. "What the fuck!" you practically screamed, your frustration boiling over. You forced your eyes open, trying to stop the pain.

Looking back to Jess, you figured your best chance was to ask what happened. "Was there an explosion at some point?" She glanced at the door, unsure if she she actually tell you anything. "Please, Jess, I need something." You grabbed her hand, gasping when it glowed.

"Okay! Okay, but you need to breath, okay? You can't pass out on me again." You watched as she unwrapped her hand, showing completely healed skin. "After graduation, we both got jobs in research at Oscorp..."

"I can't believe we actually work here." It must have been the seventieth time you've said those words to Jess on your lunch break.

"I know! It's so surreal to be part of... all this." She gestured around the building, her giddy smile matching your own. The two of you started working at Oscorp 3 months ago, her in electrical engineering and you in biomedical.

"I'll see you after work?" You began cleaning up your garbage, preparing to go back to work.

"Actually, I have plans. Liz and I are celebrating our one year," she smiled, a wistful look in her eye.

"How could I forget? I'm so happy for you guys," you smiled cheekily in return. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then... or Monday?" You ran before she could throw something at you. "Bye!"

Shaking your head, you made the trek back up to the biomedical floor. You were in the process of isolating stem cells for regenerative medicine. Ideally, in a few months your 3D printed skin prototype would be ready for trials.

You still marvelled at the equipment as you made it back to your lab bench. Neither college nor your part time position in a hospital really did anything to prepare you for the private sector. It was so much more advanced. You still sometimes felt a bit of imposter syndrome. Shaking off the unpleasant thoughts, you got to work.

Without realizing, you worked later than intended. Typically your friday ends at 4:30, but it was already 7:15. No wonder you were so hungry. Just before you could pack anything up, you felt the building shake. A bright light followed, the force of the blast knocking you and your bench over.

"I really pass out a lot, don't I?" you griped, annoyed with the circumstances of your memory loss. "Is that what happened, I hit my head and forgot six years of my life?"

"Do you want me to finish the story, or not?" Jess rolled her eyes, but she smiled. It felt good to have you back to your sarcastic self. When you nodded, she continued. "I heard about the explosion, and panicked when you didn't answer any of my calls. Liz obviously understood, and we rushed to the hospital where they were sending the survivors..."

The ER was a wreck. Thankfully the majority of the employees had left before the explosion, given that it was a friday. The havoc came from family and friends who couldn't contact their loved ones due to the cell reception issues.

Jess finally made it up to the nurse's station, Liz hot on her heels. "Hi I'm looking for Y/N L/N. Is she here?" She followed up the question with a general description of your appearance.

The nurse looked through their stacks of papers, finding a chart with the right name. "You can follow me." They threw procedure out the window, aiming to just rid the room of people as quickly as possible.

When Jess and Liz rounded the corner toward your room, they could hear you arguing with someone.

"I'm fine! I feel fine, I promise," you paused, waiting for someone's response. "They're keeping me for an hour or so for observation just in case. I promise I'll call you when I'm free to leave." You looked up when the new bodies entered the room. "Jess is here. She'll drive me home, don't worry. It's not worth sitting in the traffic because I'm completely fine. I promise." You shook your head, finally saying "I love you too, bye."

"Your mom?" Jess guessed, smirking when you nodded. Seeing as the two guests did in fact know you, the nurse left, wasting no time in getting back to the ER.

"You know how she worries. Granted, this time feels kind of warranted." You were still trying to wrap your head around everything. "It's crazy I'm not injured. Sorry about your date. You too Liz. I would've called, but as soon as reception came back my mom was calling."

"Don't worry about it!" Liz answered when Jess only surveyed you, eyes roaming your body.

"How are you so okay? The news is saying it was the particle accelerator that exploded. That's that floor below you." Jess inquired.

"I have no idea. Last thing I remember, I was being thrown across the room with my research, then I woke up here and felt fine," you shrugged.

"You don't even have any scrapes or bruises. How is that possible?" Jess shook her head, more so voicing the questions out of disbelief than actually expecting answers. Eventually, the three of you moved on to talking about anything you could to pass the time.

A half hour later, you were being discharged to make room for more emergent cases. They removed your IV, had you sign some papers, and you were in the car on the way to the closest fast food place.

You brought the food back to your apartment, trying to convince Jess and Liz to salvage what was left of the night for their date.

"Seriously, I'm fine. I don't need you to babysit me-" Suddenly, Jess cut you off.

"Y/N! You're arm!" she pointed excitedly, eyes wide. You glanced at your arm, turning it around.

"It seems fine." You looked back at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Yeah, but it shouldn't be! You should have a bruise or at least a mark from the IV," she shot back, watching the moment it hit you.

"What the hell?" you whispered, refocusing on your arm to try and come up with some explanation. Suddenly, you were grabbing the nearest piece of paper, intent on giving yourself a paper cut. You winced when it stung, but watched in amazement as your skin healed itself, a faint glow emanating from the wound. "What the hell?" you repeated.

"And that's it." Jess finished the story, shrugging when you gestured for more.

"What do you mean that's it! That can't be it! How did I figure out I could heal other people? Are there other people with... powers? What's the most dangerous thing I've healed? Will it last forever?" You rambled with every question you could think of, staring in amazement at your own hands. You could still feel the splitting pain that reliving your past seemed to cause, but you ignored the feeling in favor of figuring out as much as possible.

"Well, after the accident we obviously stopped working at Oscorp since the building was practically obliterated. We did what we could, but we didn't really have the tools to test your newfound powers," she smirked. "You moved in here a few years months later."

You bit your lip, eyeing her with a curious gaze. "We still hang out though, right?" you nervously voiced your question, scared to hear that you haven't seen her in years.

"Oh, yeah! All the time. We actually just had lunch before your last mission." She smiled fondly at the memory, but it faded when she remembered the result of the mission. "We didn't know if you were going to wake up," she choked back a sob. "Ever since the explosion, you've never been down for long. A few minutes at most from what I know. Nothing's ever hurt you like this before..."

"That's why we think it was a purposeful attack, designed to knock you out." Suddenly, the two of you weren't alone. Tony Stark waltzed into the med bay, a young man right behind him.

"That's my queue. I'll see you later, okay?" Jess hugged you before she left, leaving you with more questions than she had answered. Your eyes remained on Jess until she turned a corner out of your view, forcing you to look to the two newcomers.

"Is this the part where you tell me how I ended up here?" You questioned, looking between Tony and the younger man you didn't recognize for answers.

"You saved my life," the younger man answered with no hesitation. Your entire body jerked toward him. If you had water, you definitely would have done a spit take.

"I what?" you sputtered, still trying to put together what you remember with the information Jess gave you.

"I'm just going to run some tests while Spidey fills you in. Pretend I'm not even here." Tony started messing with the machines you were connected to, ignoring the increased furrow of your eyebrows.

"Spidey? You're spiderman? You're practically a child!" Your mouth hung agape as you stared at the man. The last you had seen, Spiderman was responsible for capturing weapons dealers who specialized in alien tech. That's definitely not something you'd expect a child to be capable of.

"Hey, I'm twenty-two!" he practically whined, only reinforcing your image of him as a child. "Anyway, this is the story of how you saved my life." Spiderman paused, as if expecting an audience reaction.

"Kid, get on with it." Tony muttered, still focused on the various machines. In fact, now that you've actually had a chance to look around, these are definitely not standard hospital machines. Before you could ask about them, he started his story.

"Well, a little less than six years ago, I was fighting these dudes..."

Peter swung from building to building, looking for anyone or anything out of place. It was his standard patrol route, but something felt off. His spidey sense was definitely tingling.

He was being extra vigilant as he looked down each alley for anything suspicious, but it was of no use. The bad guys weren't trying to hide in an alley. No, they were right in the middle of the street, and they were looking for a fight.

One of them shot some alien tech weapon into the sky, resulting in a loud boom echoing through the block. Instantly people started running, looking for anywhere they could hide if they couldn't get away.

He swung closer to surprise them when someone shouted about his arrival. His graceful landing was rather rudely interrupted when bad guy number two shot his alien gun at Peter's webs, unceremoniously dumping him to the ground.

Despite the rough landing, he jumped right into the fight. Everytime he thought he had them cornered, they'd whip out a new weapon. By the third time, he expected the surprise and easily dodged the blast. Unfortunately, it was enough of a distraction for them to blast him with new weapon number four.

He flew backwards, crushing a dumpster from the sheer force of the blast. Before he could recover, another blast hit him, sending him clear through the brick wall into an adjacent alley. The group of attackers took this as there opportunity, escaping in the waiting getaway car before anyone was apprehended.

Peter groaned, unable to even sit up. Karen was listing his stats, but he couldn't focus on her words enough to do anything with the information. Karen must have alerted Tony to his distress because he could hear Tony's voice. Or maybe he was hallucinating.

"Oh my god, Y/N that's Spiderman!" A voice a few yards from Peter spoke up. "He looks hurt... Are you okay Mr. Man? Mr. Spider? Mr. Spiderman?"

"He's clearly not okay, Jess. Oh my god." You ran toward him, concern clear on your face. Just as you knelt down in front of him, he started talking.

"Mr. Stark? I'm fine." Peter was not fine, but his ever present fear of disappointing Tony inevitably lead to his denial.

"Kid, you're not fine. I can see your vitals." Tony deadpanned. Meanwhile, your concern was growing. From your point of view, there was nobody present for him to be talking to.

"Oh my god, Jess. He's hallucinating." You worriedly looked at your friend, concerned for the man in front of you. He didn't seem to hear your comment, but that only added to your worry. "Spiderman? Can I help you? Maybe we can take you to the hospital?"

Jess nodded in agreement, confirming that was the best plan. Peter vaguely nodded, not really hearing you. You reached for his arm, slowly pulling him up to help him stand. The second you made contact, your hands started glowing. You would've dropped him if he wasn't also holding on to you.

"What the fuck?" Jess called from behind you, watching the mysterious glowing. You nearly shrieked when another voice sounded from behind you.

"Well, that's new." Iron Man himself stood behind you, watching curiously as the glow faded.

"Uhh... yeah. It is," you confirmed, staring wide eyed yourself.

Everyone looked at each other, confusion and concern on their faces. It wasn't until a voice came from Peter's suit that anyone said anything.

"Vitals stable." Karen updated the group, although it seemed to already be known.

"How..." you mumbled, overwhelmed by your newfound ability. It had already taken so much to get used to healing yourself, but you can heal other people too?

"That's what I'd like to know." Tony chimed in, a smirk adorning his features.

"And then you came back to the tower with us!" He finished his story, unphased by the disbelief in your expression. "Dr. Banner ran some tests, and it turns out the particle accelerator altered your DNA."

You nodded silently, thinking about everything you've learned since you woke up. "This is insane." Your headache spiked again, beginning to reduce to a dull throbbing after the story, but still enough to earn a grimace. Tony seemed to notice your discomfort, marking something down with the rest of the test results.

"It seems your vitals are all stable. Nothing seems to be different than the first time we ran all of these tests. Slightly depleted levels of serotonin and estrogen, but nothing noteworthy. I'll have Bruce look it over when he gets back from Cho's lab, but everything seems fine."

"So why can't I remember?" you asked the question, not really expecting an answer, but hoping for at least a working theory. Tony sighed, glancing at the door before giving in.

"We think whatever weapon Hydra hit you with was designed specifically to take you down. They somehow targeted the regeneration of your cells, slowing it down enough to allow you to be injured. The amnesia could be a side effect of whatever process they used, or the result of hitting your head."

Science. You understood science. That was something you could work with. "But everything's back to normal? My cells are regenerating again?"

Tony nodded, showing you the results from your original tests six years ago and the ones he just finished running. "So we don't know if it's temporary..." you mumbled, thoughts running wild.

"Which means we should treat it like retrograde amnesia..." Tony supplied you with the next logical conclusion, knowing you wouldn't appreciate the treatment plan.

"Damnit," you cursed.

"What?" The young one questioned the shift in mood.

"It means no more stories, Pete." Tony sighed.

"Pete..." you repeated the name, closing your eyes in an attempt to remember something new. "Pete... Peter... Peter Parker!" Your eyes flew open. "That's your name right?"

"Um... yeah," he replied, looking at your warily.

"Okay. That's good. I remembered something."

"You mean you didn't know my name the whole time I was telling that story?" Peter guffawed. "Why didn't you say anything! I would've introduced myself.

You shrugged. "I wanted to hear the story."

Tony just shook his head. "Hey, kid. Why don't you take her on a tour? Start with her room."

"My room?" you asked, still trying to wrap your head around everything.

"Well, you don't normally live in the med bay," Tony joked. "See if walking around helps. If you need to rest, you can do it in your room instead of here."

You simply nodded, so thrown off by the information overload. Peter lead you out of the room and down the hall to the elevator. You definitely could've gone back to sleep, but your desire for answers was definitely outweighing your need to rest.

Peter dutifully showed you around the entire tower, starting with your room as Tony directed. You slowly walked around the space, looking at the various pictures and items strewn about.

"It's just like it was before the mission." Peter supplied, hoping to jog your memory. You simply nodded, still trying to digest everything that happened today. Sitting down on the bed, you reached to grab the picture frame from your nightstand.

The photo showed you and Steve Rogers at Coney Island, his arm wrapped around your waist. While you were smiling at the camera, Steve was looking at you. The expression on his face suddenly answered a few of your questions from earlier.

"That's why he cared so much..." you mumbled under your breath, barely even registering Peter's presence in the room. You glanced around again, noticing all the small things you missed before. The men's sweatshirt left at the end of the bed, the drawings that were framed on the walls with the tiniest signature of initials SGR in the corners, even the few candles on your desk that you knew you would never choose for yourself. There was clearly two people living here.

You reached for the sweatshirt, mourning the memories you knew you should have. More than anything, you felt sorry for Steve. Just thinking if the roles were reversed has you ready to cry. You held the sweatshirt to your chest, trying to keep your composure while you're with Peter. Holding the sweatshirt that close, you realized you could smell Steve's cologne on the fabric.

Suddenly, you feel as though you were thrown back in time, remembering the first time you met. "He was there the first time I healed someone after you..." You glanced at Peter, trying to gauge if you were actually remembering something. The more you thought about the memory, the more you could feel another headache coming on.

"I, um, I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about this. Mr. Stark said no more stories..."

"You don't need to tell me. I- I remember it. I mean, I think I do. Just tell me if I'm right?" When Peter nodded, you jumped into the story, paying no mind to the growing pain in your head.

You had just finished your tour of the tower- Peter giving the actual tour while Tony continued to ask you random questions about your powers- when someone ran down the hall to get Tony.

"Stark! We need Cho, it's Barnes." The mystery woman paid you no mind aside from one questioning glance, although you still felt exposed under her gaze.

"She left for South Korea a few hours ago, but I'll make the call. Banner is in the med bay now." Tony replied, already asking the built in AI to redirect the quinjet. He started to follow the woman back towards where they ran your tests, leaving you and Peter with no choice but to follow.

The room was much more chaotic than when you left. Multiple Avengers were in beds around the room with varying injuries. Sam Wilson was being checked for a concussion. Another woman you didn't recognize was having a wound stitched up in the next bed over.

The most people were huddled around a bed in the middle of the room, Steve Rogers' voice shouting over the commotion. "Tony!" He waved him over, Bruce Banner already standing at the bedside. Steve was covered in blood, although from the state of things you could surmise it wasn't his own. Bucky Barnes was laying motionless in the bed, his face growing paler with each second.

You and Peter watched with wide eyes as they discussed what happened. With what you could overhear, it seemed the mission they were on was based on outdated intel. The base was swarming with Hydra agents, leaving the team outnumbered and outgunned.

Bucky took the brunt of it, jumping in front of the gun fire to save some of the others. Although he could deflect some of the bullets with his metal arm, there were too many for him to stop them all. Not too mention, he had already been stabbed in the side before the guns were fired. The only thing keeping him alive was the super soldier serum. If not for his advanced healing, the stab wound would have resulted in blood loss had the gun shot wounds not done it first.

"He's losing too much blood," Bruce muttered, trying his best to help despite not being that kind of doctor.

"Cho left hours ago. Even with the maximum speed, she won't be here for another 30 minutes," Tony informed the group, their expressions growing more and more panicked.

"Y/N!" Peter exclaimed from next to you, startling you into looking away from the horror in front of you. It seems nobody else noticed his outburst, still focused on stopping the bleeding. "You can heal him!"

"What?" you replied in a panicked voice. "No I can't! I don't know if I can heal wounds that serious!"

"You healed me!" Peter replied, trying to encourage you. "Mr. Stark said my vitals were failing. I was probably bleeding internally and you saved my life. You can save him too!"

You shook your head, staring wide eyed at Peter. You had no idea how to control your powers, let alone if they had any limits. Before today, the most you had healed was little scrapes and cuts and they were only on yourself.

"At least try. Please?" he asked, encouraging you to help. Glancing at everyone's distraught expressions, you nodded. "You can do it! I know you can!"

Peter instantly started pulling you through the crowd, getting you right next to Bucky before anyone even noticed you moved. He nodded at you with a supportive smile, encouraging you to try.

"What are you doing?" Steve shouted, his emotions running wild. Just as he asked, your hands started to glow. "Get away from him!"

He started toward you, but Peter held him back. Tony, in turn, held back the others. They watched as a bright, warm light emitted from your hands and encased Bucky's wounds. Before their eyes, the wounds started healing. He was no longer bleeding out and the color was returning to his face. Within 30 seconds, he was completely fine.

Nobody said a word, everyone stunned by the events they witnessed, yourself included. It wasn't until Bucky sat up that anyone spoke.

"What happened?" Bucky croaked, looking around at everyone's faces. He rubbed as his side, expecting to feel sore from the wounds. Instead, he found skin that had completely healed. "How long has it been?"

"About forty minutes," the mystery woman from the hallway answered, her eyes glancing between you and Bucky.

"C'mon Tash. Even I don't heal that fast. Steve?" Bucky asked, looking to his oldest friend for more information.

"Forty three minutes to be exact," he replied. He too glanced at you, although his face betrayed what he was feeling. Despite the utter confusion at how you did it, all Steve could think was you saved his life. Suddenly, Steve Rogers was hugging you. He held you to him tightly. Despite the blood, sweat, and dirt coating his suit, you could still smell his cologne. "Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome," you whispered back, unable to even attempt speaking at a higher volume. Seemingly remembering where he was, he let you go, a pink hue blooming on his cheeks.

"Who are you?" Bucky asked, a smirk already appearing on his face after Steve's uncharacteristic display of affection.

"Um, Y/N," you answered, overwhelmed by the number of eyes on you. Luckily for you, Peter was more than willing to explain. He spared no detail in telling the team about your day, starting with swinging through the city and ending with who you've come to know as Natasha interrupting the end of your tower tour.

"So you can heal people?" Bucky asked, being the only one who didn't witness the whole ordeal. "And that's why I'm not dead?" You nodded, still shocked at what you were capable of. Everyone seemed to have questions, but Tony was more than willing to talk about all the tests he and Banner ran earlier.

In the meantime, you healed the others who were hurt. Each time, everyone marveled at the glowing light. Sam's entire head seemed to light up as you healed his concussion. The woman who needed stitches, Wanda, said it felt like a warm hug when you healed the gash on her arm.

When everyone was healed, you stepped back. You didn't want to intrude on the group. Everyone here knows each other. They're like a weird little family. You couldn't just walk in off the street and expect to fit in. It seemed Steve noticed your discomfort, moving to stand by you.

"Thank you again," he started. "I'm Steve Rogers by the way." He held out his hand for you to shake, earning a chuckle from you after his earlier hug.

"Y/N L/N. It's nice to officially meet you," you smiled, feeling more at ease now that you're actually part of a conversation instead of just the topic of discussion.

"And then nothing. That's everything I remember," you finished the story, looking to Peter with a hopeful expression. Your headache only got worse as the story progressed, and it was obvious you were in pain. He narrowed his eyes at you, concerned over how much pain you may be pushing down.

"That's.. yeah. I mean that's what happened," he answered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you replied shakily, the headache slowly shifting from shooting pains to a dull throbbing. "I'm fine." The relief you felt was like a weight being lifted. It was only the first step, but remembering the people you apparently live with is a big first step.

"I guess, if you're not too tired, I can show you the rest of the tower now?" Peter offered, unsure if more information was good for you. Although, he knew if you were left alone it could be worse.

You nodded, a small smile on your lips. You had the vaguest idea that you had enjoyed his tour the first time around

-

You were right, Peter's tour was quite amusing. Maybe it was slightly different than 6 years ago, but you still found yourself smiling and laughing as he excitedly showed you all of his favorite parts. However, you had some questions.

"How is it we walked through almost the entire tower, and ran into nobody?" you asked when Peter announced the end of his tour.

"Oh... um," Peter struggled with finding an answer, unsure if this was breaking Tony's rules.

"You can't tell me anything about the time I forgot. You can tell me about now though," you assured him, watching as the tension left his body.

"Okay! Most everyone is training or in their rooms. I didn't show you the gym because you can't use it until your cleared, so I didn't want to tempt you."

"Most?" you questioned, trying to figure out why that word stuck out to you.

"Oh, yeah. Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes left for a mission. They took Wanda with them, mostly because everyone thought it was a bad idea for-" Peter abruptly cut himself off, eyes widening as if he said too much.

"For who? Steve?" you pressed further, trying to figure out why you suddenly felt like there were bricks in your stomach. When Peter didn't reply, realization dawned on you. "He left to get away from me..."

You sat back on the couch behind you, feeling an all encompassing dread. Peter, realizing he'd already given it away, started babbling with hopes of cheering you up.

"It's totally going to be fine! He's gone on missions with less preparation before, and this one isn't even that long. Wanda's there and she knows this mission inside and out-"

Once again, Peter found himself revealing too much. "Why does Wanda know more than him? Was he not supposed to be on this mission? He's just avoiding me?"

Suddenly, another memory popped up, accompanied by another searing pain tearing through your head. You felt woozy, leaning further into the couch to combat the dizziness.

"I can't do this right now, not again. We've already had the same argument over and over," he got up, promptly throwing the door open and speeding down the hall.

"You can't avoid me forever," you screamed after him as he practically ran away. Sighing, you walked through the now open door into the living room.

"Boy problems?" Nat chimed in out of nowhere, reminding you of the very public setting for this latest confrontation. Sighing, you sat down with her and Wanda.

"I just don't get why he's so upset. It's not like I can really be injured," you scoffed at Steve's sometimes overbearing worrisome attitude. "Plus, he puts himself in more danger than I do. Benching me is so unnecessary."

"Y/N, you were shot." Wanda stated the obvious, earning another scoff from you.

"I literally healed on the way home from the mission. I was fine before we even landed!" you started pacing, your frustration with Steve avoiding you boiling over.

"I bet I know why he did it," Nat practically singsonged, a devious smirk adorning her lips. "Someone's following his heart and not his brain."

"What?" you stared, dumbfounded.

"He's got a crush, you moron." Nat spelled it out for you.

"Yeah, I know that's what you meant, but that's not possible. There's no way. It can't-"

"She doth protest too much-" Tony chimed in, having joined your trio just as Nat revealed her theory. You gaped at him, offended. "Let's face it sweetheart, Cap's got it bad for you."

You sputtered an incoherent reply as all three of them simply stared you down. "Really?"

"He's clearly worried about you, even if it seems irrational. You don't think that's coming from somewhere?" Wanda, much more gently than the other two, tried to help you see it.

"Yeah, friendship!" you snarked, not enjoying the feeling of the blush in your cheeks.

"He didn't bench Barnes when he got shot." Once again, Nat was smirking at you.

"I'm leaving now." With that, you abruptly left the room, trying to compose your thoughts. There was no way, right?

-

You later found yourself aimlessly wandering around the city in an attempt to clear your thoughts. To your surprise, you ran into none other than one Steve Rogers in Central Park. The second you made eye contact, you could feel the blush from earlier returning.

"I'm not stalking you!" you abruptly stated as soon as he was within a reasonable distance. It was such a shock to see him in an unofficial capacity. He paused, clearly not expecting that. "I mean, I was just going on a walk." When he still didn't reply, you kept rambling. "Not to find you and argue again. Just to clear my head... and think."

"About what?" Steve finally stepped closer, no longer standing an awkward 5 feet away. Your eyes widened at his question, feeling like a deer in the headlights you blurted a half-truth.

"You," you abruptly threw a hand up to cover your mouth, turning and walking away after 10 seconds of silence.

"What about me?" Steve followed you, walking beside you as you once again aimlessly walked through the city.

"Just something Nat said." He was clearly waiting for more information, but given that this is the first time the two of you have talked without screaming since that mission, you were hesitant to bring it up. "Steve, I-"

"She was right."

You froze, earning a few choice words from the people who had been walking behind you. "What?"

"Nat, she told you I wasn't thinking with my head, didn't she?" Your disbelief only grew as you really registered what he was saying, and the meaning he likely didn't want to imply. "No, not like- dammit. This is not how I wanted this to go." He ran a hand through his hair, seemingly struggling to find the words he was looking for. "I just-"

It was your turn to interrupt him, briefly pressing yours lips to his before backing away just as quickly. He looked starstruck, lips hanging open ever so slightly.

"Are we on the same page?" you asked hesitantly, trying to determine if you now needed to avoid him within the confines of the tower.

"I mean, I have some more I want to say, but overall I think so." Steve stuttered out the reply, clearly still shocked by your actions.

"So, no more avoiding me?" he shook his head. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Your eyelids fluttered as the memory finished replaying in your head, the searing pain coming back with a vengance.

"Y/N?" Peter asked, his voice betraying his worry.

"M'kay" you mumbled. You could barely hear him well enough to stutter out a response, too overwhelmed by the shooting pains causing your vision to blur and the room to spin.

"You're clearly not okay. I'm taking you back to the med bay." Peter reached over to help you up, needing his reflexes to catch you as you slumped over. "Yep, not okay. Not okay!"

He picked you up, fully carrying you to the med bay while your head lolled over his shoulder. "Mr. Stark!" He called as he deposited you onto the bed.

-

"What happened?" you whispered as your eyes fluttered open. This time, you recognized the faces looking back at you. Peter and Tony were now joined by Bruce, each one glaring at a different machine.

"In short, we don't know. You keep passing out." Bruce answered when he finally looked away from the charts he was reviewing. You glanced between him, Peter, and Tony. They each wore a matching expression telling you one thing- they really had no clue.

"This isn't fair," you whined. "I'm just trying to figure out my life."

"Just try to relax, we'll figure it out eventually." Tony rolled his eyes when you just whined some more. "Take a nap then, I can't work while listening to your whining."

You mulled over his words, some vague sense of something coming back to you. Before long, you could fully picture the date at Coney Island- or more accurately the non-date. "Bucky and Sam said we should all go and then ditched us."

"Where are we going?" you asked, still groggy from the surprising wake up call. "Is someone hurt?"

"Nope," Sam answered. "You need a day off. And before you protest, Steve is coming. If he can take a day, so can you."

You were going to protest, but the sound of voices from down the hall cut you off.

"Buck, would you just tell me where we're going? I should really-"

"No," you laughed at Bucky's tone, knowing he was sick of Steve working himself to death. "We're taking a day off. That's all you need to know."

Bucky and Sam nodded at each other in greeting. Together they lead you and Steve out of the tower and into a car, driving away before either of you could come up with a reason to stay behind.

"Any idea what's going on?" Steve asked you, figuring Sam and Bucky were dead set on not telling.

"Unfortunately no," you answered. "Sam woke me up at the crack of dawn and wouldn't even tell me why." As if on queue, you yawned. Steve chuckled at your expression, swiftly apologizing when you glared at him. "I'm not made to be up this early," you pouted.

"Not exactly a relaxing day off if you spend the whole thing tired." Steve muttered just loud enough for the two in the front to hear.

"Take a nap then. I don't want to spend the whole day listening to your whining." Bucky called back, rolling his eyes at Steve's glare.

You decided to take the advice, leaning your head against the window in an attempt to fall asleep. However, with Bucky driving, your head was bouncing up and down off the window, only resulting in more whining.

"Lean on Steve if the window hurts that bad." Bucky mumbled, smirking to Sam. You felt the heat blossom in your cheeks, practically forcing yourself to keep looking forward.

"You can if you want. Lean on me, I mean." Steve murmured, trying to keep Sam and Bucky out of the conversation.

"Thank you," you practicaly squeaked, choosing to just do it rather than stare awkwardly.

Despite the comfort of leaning into Steve, you were too wound up to get any sleep. You simply shut your eyes, allowing your mind to run a mile a minute with what he could be thinking for the entire car ride.

As it turns out, you had plenty of time to spiral. The car didn't come to a stop for nearly an hour. Reluctantly, you drew your head away from Steve's shoulder to better look out the window.

"Coney Island? This is your idea of a relaxing day off?" You glanced at Bucky and Sam in time to see them both roll their eyes.

"Would it kill you to have a little fun? Get out of the car, both of you." You held your hands up in surrender, shrugging at Steve as you followed their directions. To your surprise, neither man followed you out of the car. "We'll be back later. Try to enjoy yourselves."

Before you could protest, Bucky was hitting the gas. The car squealed away from you, too fast for even Steve to try and catch it. You glanced between him and the park eventually pulling your phone out to buy tickets.

"Are you more of a pay-per-ride or full on wristband type of guy?" you questioned, looking up at Steve only when he didn't answer. You found him staring at you, a slight raise of his eyebrow confusing you. "What? You don't want four hours of fun, thrill, and excitement?"

"How ever will we manage it?" he quipped, earning a chuckle from you.

"Sam and Bucky will never believe it." you joked back, smiling when Steve laughed in turn.

And so, the two of you set of to ride as many rides as you could in the four hours before your wristbands expired, fitting in a few breaks for snacks and water. You even managed to convince Steve to end your day on the slingshot arguing about how it was included in the price and he clearly met the height requirements.

"We didn't take a single picture," you lamented as you and Steve walked the boardwalk after eating. "However will we convince them we managed to have fun?"

"I'm pretty sure I saw Redwing following us around at least once... besides, what's stopping us from taking one now?" Steve asked, smiling ear to ear. You grinned up at him, quickly looking around to find someone to take the picture.

"Excuse me, would you take a picture of us?" you asked a teenage girl, knowing she would be able to frame the photo correctly. She nodded, gawking slightly at Steve- but could you blame her?

He pulled you into his side, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other in his pocket. You both laughed as the girl instructed you to move this way and that in order to get the best lighting. Steve glanced between you and the camera, his gaze settling on you almost subconsciously. His smile morphed from one of giddy excitement into a soft, lovestruck grin.

Eventually, the girl seemed happy with the result. You thanked her as you accepted the phone back not realizing Steve still hadn't stopped smiling at you.

"Steve! You're only looking at the camera in like three of the fifty pictures she took!" He snapped out of his state, blushing slightly as you looked through the three photos for which one you should send to Sam and Bucky. "You think they'll come get us anytime soon?"

"Knowing them, they'll milk this day for all it's worth. How about we get some dinner?"

You were nearly screaming as a new round of pain tore through your head, black dots clouding your vision. You could tell someone was talking to you, but you weren't with it enough to understand the words. Before long, the world was once again fading to black.

-

"It doesn't make any sense." Bruce lamented, still going though the various labs and data collected while you were sedated. "The only result even mildly out of the ordinary was such a random drop, it's more likely equipment error than an actual measurement."

You looked over the results in front of you, nodding your agreement. "Even the brain activity?" you questioned, looking through the various results for the correct sheet.

"Unfortunately, yes." Bruce answered, passing you a different tablet with the results you were asking about.

It had been four days since the medical team decided to sedate you after you remembered your trip to Coney Island with Steve, but still nobody could figure out why remembering things made you pass out.

"Maybe it won't happen again?" Your hopeful tone was not lost on the others in the room.

"Hope isn't a very good plan." Bruce spoke up, his expression solemn.

"But for now, it's all I've got." you sighed. "Thank you all for the help. I think I'll just... take a walk." You smiled at Tony, Peter, and Bruce before leaving.

You spent the next few hours wandering the halls of the tower desperately hoping for a new memory while scared of the associated pain. When nothing happened, you decided to take the excursion outside. You sat on the roof, watching the sunset in peaceful silence until the wind started picking up.

It wasn't hard to find the source of the sudden disruption. A quinjet hovered over the landing pad, slowing making its way down. You watched as the wind died down and the door opened, allowing three very tired Avengers to disembark.

You were about to ask how the mission went when you noticed Steve limping down the ramp.

"What happened?" you rushed over to the trio, unsure of how to help once you actually got close enough. Steve just stared at you, unprepared to face you so soon.

"The dumbass got himself shot." Bucky informed you. "Through and through. He'll be fine in a few hours..."

You stopped listening to Bucky after the first sentence. You started acting on instinct, not even second guessing your movements. You knelt in front of the three of them, hovering your hands hovered over the wound. A faint glow emanated from your palms while Steve slowly started leaning less and less on Bucky.

"Why wait a few hours when I can do it in no time." You smiled up at Steve. His small smile pulled at a string in your mind, sending you back in time.

"Stop pacing. He'll be fine." Tony stood to your left, nervously drumming his fingers despite his words.

"Bucky said he got stabbed! With a knife! And it must've been a big knife if it was bad enough for them to have us meet him on the roof!" You would've continued the rant if the quinjet hadn't just come into view.

Tony had to hold you back long enough for the jet to actually land, but the second the door was open you were running onto the jet.

"I told you I should've been on this mission, but no! You said it was just recon! How did he get stabbed doing recon!" you huffed, frantically searching the jet for Steve because you wouldn't stop talking long enough for someone to tell you where he was. Bucky just pointed to the back, not willing to get in the way of your fear induced rampage right now.

You refused to look at his face, knowing the pallid gray tone of his skin would only bring tears to your eyes and prevent you from helping him. Instead, you blindly reached for him, allowing Nat to guide your hands to where hers had just been. You felt the slight warmth from the glow of your hands, still not looking at him.

It wasn't until you heard Steve cough that you reopened your eyes. He still looked like shit, but at least his face had some color to it.

"Where'd all the anger go? He's the one he said it was just recon." Sam mumbled, earning a glare from Bucky and Nat. It did remind you of your fear though.

"I'm mad at you," you pouted. Everyone else took that as their cue to leave, allowing you and Steve the space to talk. "You said it was going to be easy."

Seeing Steve alive and well allowed the fear to dwindle, but the adrenaline rush had to go somewhere. You couldn't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry. I'm okay. Everything's fine." He wrapped his arms around you, slowly rubbing his hands up and down your back.

"This time!" you screeched, reliving the paralyzing fear of not knowing if he would make it back to you in time. "This is why you should just let me go on missions. If I had been there, then there never would have been any question and you wouldn't-"

"You could've been hurt." Steve argued, albeit weakly.

"I could've been hurt? You were hurt! You nearly died Steve, and-" he cut you off again, this time with a kiss.

"You can come on missions now," he mumbled, lips still touching yours.

"Is that an official offer, Captain?" you smirked. Steve smiled at you, laughing lightly at the sudden change of tone.

"As official as they come. Now let me kiss my girl."

"Y/N? Y/N!" Steve called your name, catching you as once again remembering something incapacitated you. He rushed you to the med bay, Bucky and Wanda hot on his heels. "Tony!"

Tony and Bruce were still in the med bay, going over the test results in hopes of finding something they missed the first seven times. Hearing Steve, they both assumed something had gone wrong on the mission.

"Who is it? What happened?" Tony rushed over, seeing you he relaxed slightly. "Put her on her bed."

"Her bed?" Steve questioned, nonetheless laying you on the bed in the direction Tony gestured.

"This is the sixth time, not including that first one. Every time she remembers something significant, it causes a migraine so bad she faints." Tony sighed, one hand running through his hair and the other looking at vital signs.

"What triggers the memories?" Bucky asked, noticing Steve's inability to process the situation.

"Deja vu basically. Anything with enough power to relate to something from the six years she's forgotten." Tony answered absentmindedly. He was more focused on running the panel of labs as quickly as possible.

"Why?" Steve mumbled, his heart breaking even more at the clear pain you've been in while he was avoiding being here.

"We don't know." Tony answered truthfully, anticipating Steve's anger. He was not anticipating Steve up and leaving the room.

"I never should have let her come on mission." Steve grumbled on his way out.

"Steve, c'mon man-" Bucky called after him, but he wasn't having it.

"I can't be here when she wakes up. What if I trigger another memory? She's clearly in pain. I can't cause more. I won't."

With that, he was gone. Bucky and Wanda turned to Tony, but nobody was sure of what to do. Eventually, Tony noticed the same abnormal drop of serotonin and estrogen.

"Hmm," he murmured. Bucky and Wanda both instantly looked at him. As if he could feel there stares, Tony explained. "We've gotten the same error reading a few times. I wonder if they made it so we wouldn't get accurate results either on the brain function or the labs."

"I wouldn't put it past them. I just don't see what they're trying to gain." Bucky sighed. "Why erase her memories?"

"Maybe they thought they'd be able to use her, but we managed to handle the attack well? They never got a chance to actually capture her." Wanda suggested, cringing as she tried not to directly reference Bucky's past.

"It's definitely possible, but why would they make it painful to recover? It's either there or it's not." Bucky rebutted.

Tony listed in while still going through the results. "Everything still looks normal except for the error... Maybe it's just an effort to get her away from us? With no memories of us, she could've chosen to leave."

"She would never-" Bucky started, but Tony cut him off.

"Stay with strangers who consistently cause her to pass out or go back to living with her best friend?" Tony questioned. "Yeah, before she wouldn't have, and now she probably won't, but it could've happened. Just think about how vulnerable we'd be without her. We haven't exactly been careful since she's joined us on missions."

Bucky and Wanda nodded, finally seeing the point. The conversation would have continued, but all focus shifted to you as you groaned.

"Damnit." You slowly sat up, groaning at the residual ache in your head. You looked around the room, slowly piecing together what it was that you remembered this time. A soft smile grew on your face as you let the memory of your feelings for Steve wash over you. You couldn't help but notice the room was missing a certain super soldier. "Is Steve here? Is he okay?"

The three of them looked at each other, not quite knowing what to say. "He, uh, he's okay. He just didn't want to cause you any more pain." Bucky finally answered you.

"Oh. Well, good that he's okay." You bit your lip, contemplating everything that's been happening. "I think I'll just go to bed for the night. We can regroup in the morning in case there's anything new." You waited for their agreement before you left, slowly untangling yourself from all the machinery. "Thank you for all the help."

-

The next day, you found yourself wanting to give up. You could tell that you had felt something for Steve, and felt it strongly, but it was just out of reach. Despite how badly you wanted it, you couldn't quite get there. Not seeing him at all didn't help. If he even heard you coming down the hall, he high tailed it out of the room.

Wanda found you just after lunch, snuggled under the blankets in your room watching the Reputation Stadium Tour movie on Netflix.

"Hey, can I bother you for a minute?" she asked, hovering in the doorway.

"Sure." You paused the movie, shuffling slightly so she could sit next to you on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she questioned, easily picking up on your downcast mood.

"I just wish I could remember everything." Your voice broke, tears pooling in your eyes once again. "I wish I knew what could fix it. I wish I could talk to Steve about it because I'm so confused, but I know it's hurting him to not have me remember, but I can't fix it.I just..."

She stroked your hair, trying to comfort you as you cried. When the tears slowed down, she tried to change the subject. "What are you watching?"

"Taylor Swift. Apparently she put out a billion songs in the six years I can't remember, so at least I get to experience those for the first time again," you mumbled. Wanda paused a minute, but then the two of you burst into laughter. "Always look on the bright side, right?"

The two of you laughed and laughed. Everytime you thought you had it under control, one look at each other had you giggling again. Another few minutes, and the laughter died down. You fully sat up, Wanda officially having lightened your mood.

"Did you need something?" you asked, wiping the last few tears away.

"Oh! I was wondering if you'd let me try looking in your head? I thought maybe if Hydra did something to prevent you from accessing the memories like normal then maybe I could see it." She looked nervous as she made the suggestion, but your grin eased her worries.

"Absolutely! I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix this." You tried not to be too hopeful, but after nearly a week of trying the same thing over and over having Wanda suggest something new was thrilling.

"Okay! Just try thinking about the things you've already remembered and maybe that will trigger something else." Wanda suggested, her hands already glowing red.

You closed your eyes, imaging reliving all of the things you'd already remembered. You pictured waking up in the hospital right after the particle accelerator exploded. You thought about saving Peter and in turn saving Bucky the first day you met the Avengers. Then the memories of Steve floated through your mind. The non-date at Coney Island, the walk in the park when you first kissed him, the feeling of relief when you healed him after that mission. Every single thing you'd remembered.

Throughout it all, you kept trying to calm the hope you were feeling. After each memory, the feeling grew. You couldn't help but think how happy you would be if this worked.

With your eyes closed, you couldn't really tell what Wanda was doing. It wasn't until she cleared her throat that you opened your eyes again. Instantly, you could see the regret on her face.

"Nothing?" you questioned, already knowing the answer.

"I'm sorry. I really thought it could work." You could tell she was genuinely sorry, possibly regretful for even suggesting the idea now that it didn't work.

"It's fine, Wan. I appreciate the help, even if it didn't work. We'll just have to figure something else out."

You smiled at her as she left, genuinely grateful to have friends who care so much. Speaking of friends, you figured it was about time you gave Jess a call. With so much effort going into figuring out your memory issues, you've barely thought about everything that could've happened in her life during the time you forgot.

"Hello?" she answered on the third ring.

"Hi, are you busy?" you asked, realizing she might in fact have a life outside of talking to you. When she replied in the negative, you asked her to meet you for lunch.

"I'd love to! Half an hour?" she suggested.

"Sure! See you soon."

You jumped around the room, getting ready as quick as you could to make it on time. It would've been easier had you already been dressed, but this morning's mood prevented anything productive from occurring. You managed to be ready to leave twelve minutes later, throwing your stuff in a bag and bolting out the door.

"Ah! Sorry!" you yelped when you ran into somebody in the hallway, practically dumping the entire contents of your purse on the floor. "I'm so sorry!" As you repacked your stuff, you glanced up at the person you'd run into. "Steve!"

It was hard to understand the mixture of emotions running through you at the sight of him. To be fair, he seemed to be feeling something similar. You smiled up at him, apologizing again in a softer voice.

"You're still so like you," Steve murmured, his eyes softening. You tilted your head in confusion. "Always in a rush, always smiling for miles."

Your smile faltered, the phrase catching on something in your mind. "Smiling for miles..." you repeated, eyebrows furrowed. Steve caught on a moment later, understanding your confusion.

"It's from a song. One you played for me," he confessed. His words on top of all of your thoughts about hope this morning clued you in.

"But hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have... But I have it. Yeah, I have it." You sang, the song throwing you back in time once more.

"Y/N, this song is sad." Steve argured, but the smile didn't leave his face.

"Yeah, but it's real. It's about life. Plus it's beautifully produced." you argued back, pulling him closer to you. "I'm not saying it's this big love song, but that doesn't mean I can't dance with you while it's playing."

The two of you swayed around the room, simply basking in each other's presence. When the song ended, you continued to hold each other.

"I love you," you whispered, barely audible. Still, you knew Steve would be able to hear it. For a second, you were afraid it was too soon.

"I love you too," he whispered back. "More than I could say."

You could feel the tears, but for once it wasn't from the pain. Sure, your head hurt, but the memory wasn't long enough to incapacitate you.

"Y/N?" Steve questioned. This was exactly why he was avoiding you until he could at least come up with an idea to help you. To his and your surprise, you surged forward and kissed him.

He didn't respond immediately, too caught off guard. It wasn't until his arms wrapped around your back that you realized what you'd done. You pulled back, hands covering your mouth as if you didn't trust yourself.

"Steve, I'm so sorry." Your eyes were wide, expression panicked. Your heart only broke more when his smile faltered. "I have to go. I love- I have to go."

You ran before he could respond. Literally, ran out of the tower and down the street. You knew that he could catch up if he really wanted to, but it didn't matter. The emotions you were feeling after that last memory hurt more than the rest. You could tell that you love Steve, but you had no idea what lead you there. Besides the bits and pieces you'd remembered. It was like you skipped the falling and simply landed in a relationship. You were still cursing yourself for nearly uttering those three words when you made it to the restaurant.

The second Jess saw you, she knew something was up. After convincing her that you wanted to stay for lunch, she finally asked, "what happened?"

You nearly broke down again as you explained everything that happened since you last saw her. You gave her as much detail as you could remember, sighing when you explained how you lost control and kissed him.

"Jess, it was so unfair of me. He spent the last five days avoiding me, and he runs into me one time and it's like I've lost my mind," you complained, wishing for the ground to open up and swallow you.

"Go back a sec, you said there was only one abnormal result?" Jess asked, making you realize something.

"Shit. I wanted to get lunch with you so we could talk about you! You're my best friend and I haven't got a clue what you've been up to for the last six years! Forget my problems for now. Let's talk about you."

"Y/N. What was it?" she asked again. "I haven't lost any of my stubbornness, so you might as well just appease me." You rolled your eyes, but you answered her nonetheless.

"It was an error. It showed a drop in estrogen and serotonin, but there's no way they could actually drop and rise that much that quickly." You expected a response, but when she didn't say anything you tried moving on again. "Can we please talk about you now?"

She shook her head, clearly still thinking about what you said. Slowly, her smile grew and she was taking out money for the food you'd yet to eat. "We have to go."

Despite your protests, she pulled you out of the restaurant. You could tell she was dragging you back to the tower, but you'd yet to figure out why. She refused to stop her train of thought to answer your questions until you were back in the elevator on the way to the med bay.

"Remember how Liz would sometimes get migraines?" she asked you, completely throwing you for a loop. You nodded, vaguely remembering the few times you'd seen it happen. "Well, she was prescribed some meds to regulate some hormones that made them worse."

"Serotonin and estrogen..." you finally caught on to her train of thought. "But how-"

You were cut off by the sound of Steve's voice in the med bay as the elevator doors opened. He was talking to someone else, a voice you didn't immediately recognize.

"Does it make sense?" he asked, a desperate hope coming through in the tone of his voice.

"It's definitely possible. I'll be there in two hours, and I can tell you more then."

You seemed to have caught the tail end of a video call between Steve and the mystery woman. Nobody immediately noticed your presence in the room.

"Serotonin and estrogen are," Jess started, gaining the men's attention.

"Migraine inducing hormones." Steve finished with her, seemingly having already caught up to speed. "I did some digging."

"I can't believe we missed it, but the reading seemed so impossible," Tony lamented, looking more guilty than he should.

"Would someone care to explain what is happening?" you asked, feeling as though they were talking around you. "The result is impossible. What could possible cause my hormones to drop like that?"

"Hydra." The answer came from behind you, Bucky and Sam entering the med bay as well. You merely raised an eyebrow, still not understanding the science behind it.

"They altered your brain chemistry. Accessing your memories involves the hippocampus. They seem to have attached that functionality with a drop in serotonin and estrogen, both linked to migraines."

"Y/N, would you mind?" Tony gestured to 'your bed'. With a sigh, you climbed in and started hooking yourself up to the machinery. You had a million questions, but Bruce kept asking you to stay still. It wasn't long until the lack of movement and the white noise of the other people in the room lulled you to sleep.

"She needs this to work... I need this to work." You could just barely hear Steve as you slowly woke up.

"I don't see why it wouldn't." The mystery woman's voice answered. You glanced in the direction of the noise, trying to understand what was going on.

"Oh good, I was just going to wake you up." The mystery woman walked over to you, a weird tablet in her hands. "I am going to use this to alter your brain functionality." Your eyes widened at her proclamation.

"Okay... and you are?" you questioned, nervous at the idea of annoying messing with your head again.

"Shuri fixed my head after... She deprogrammed Hydra's ability to control me." Bucky jumped into the conversation. "She definitely knows what she's doing even though she's still basically just a kid." Shuri glared at him, but you could tell it was friendly.

"And this is actually going to work?" you asked, still nervous after all the other failed attempts.

"Yes," she answered simply, leaving no room for negotiation.

"Okay, go for it." You laid back down, closing your eyes once again.

"I am going to need you to think of the strongest memory you have from the time you forgot. It will let me target the correct area with much more precision." Shuri instructed. You nodded, eager to get going.

Despite its brevity, you thought of your most recently recovered memory. Dancing with Steve while Lana del Rey sang in the background. You could practically feel his breath in your hair, the smooth fabric of his shirt. You definitely remembered how it felt to say and hear 'I love you' for the first time. It's what lead to your impromptu kiss in the hallway afterall.

You could have stayed in that memory for hours, reliving the simplicity of dancing with somebody you love over and over. In fact, it could have already been hours and you wouldn't have noticed.

"Okay, I'm done." Shuri stepped back, allowing you to sit up.The bright lights made your head spin, but it was nothing compared to the last few days.

"How long has it been?" you asked, still unsure how much time had passed.

"About an hour." Steve answered, his voice causing butterflies in your stomach.

Suddenly, your hand flew to your chest and your jaw dropped. You stared around the room, taking in everything you couldn't believe you forgot. Your eyes sparkled with unshed tears as you looked at all the people surrounding you.

"So, do you remember?" Tony finally asked, but you couldn't take your eyes of Steve once you had located him in the room.

"We got married..." you whispered, too overcome with emotion to speak at a normal volume. "We got married, and I forgot it."

Steve smiled, his own tears pooling in relief. He took the few steps required to reach you, gently taking your hands in his own. "We did."

"Where's my ring?" you questioned, still not quite believing the turn your day took. He silently pulled the ring out of his pocket and slid it onto your finger.

"You don't wear it on missions," he explained, relieved when you nodded in agreement. "I've had it with me since we got back." You laughed through the tears, kissing him quickly but mostly just needing him close.

"Any other major life events I've forgotten? No children running around, right?" you joked. When the room remained silent, you panicked. "If someone runs through that door yelling mommy I'm going to have a heart attack."

Finally, everyone laughed and Steve calmed your fears. "Nope, no children... yet." He whispered the last word just soft enough for only you to hear.

You smiled up at him, more in love than you could've imagined after the last few days.

"You better get on that."

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[echantedtoon]

What If: Douma Edition

DISCLAIMER: THIS WORK IS IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY CANNON TO DEMON BRIDE AND IS NOT AN ENDING. IT IS A WHAT IF IDEA THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE FUN TO WRITE. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND GOING FORWARD.

Warnings: Douma IS his own warning. Possibly some innuendos.

The cold silence pursed from a smile once faked and forced but now oh so full of life he never thought he'd ever be able to feel before now. Before he met HER. Sure the navigation was still rocky and if he was being completely honest, there was still a long way for him to go before he does make any one Hundred percent clear sense of it all. 

"Let me get this straight. So you're upset that your fiance wants to call off the engagement but you say that because the engagement was made by her father that she can't call off the arrangements? But she says that because her father died it's not up to him or you anymore and she can break it off if she wants to?....Am I understanding this right?"

Emotions sure were tricky. Previously he could just sit down and listen to hundreds of rambles without being ....Annoyed? Yes. That was the new emotion he was now able to feel. Suddenly faking and mimicking everything became genuinely harder. Sigh. He really needed to schedule in more vacation days with Master Muzan and Kokushibo-...No. No. He'll ask Mistress Rei instead. She'll be more sympathetic to his requests.  Meanwhile he was staring at a young couple in their early twenties sitting in front of him from his compound demanding that he help settle this annoying matter. 

The man nodded firmly before pointing at him. "Yes. You even blessed this engagement yourself two years ago, Lord Douma."

"Oh riiiiight. I remember that." No he didn't. He blessed so many marriages and engagements and divorces that he literally lost count of them all at this point. He waved a hand and forcibly smiled wider. "Such a happy time."

"Not anymore. She wants to leave me to marry another man! Surely you can see that we're meant for one another! You blessed our marriage so surely the gods see that too right!?"

Oh gods it was one of these days. Sigh. The woman had remained mostly silent throughout this entire ten minute rambling and just stared surprised at his chest. Usually he'd be flattered but he was too annoyed with this to care. Instead his hand reached up to shift something further up on his chest. 

"And has your fiance tried talking about this to you already?," he asked tilting his head. Platinum blonde locks of hair shifting with him. "Maybe she didn't even want this. Surely she's given her reasons."

"She has! But they're all nonsense! If she didn't want this marriage then she should've said so at the very beginning!"

The woman finally looked away from the thing on his chest and glared at him. "I DID!! But my father wouldn't listen! I wouldn't be engaged to a man like YOU otherwise!"

All the yelling was starting to not only annoy him but make a fuss of another. He couldn't deal with this anymore. He had an appointment to keep and he wouldn't be late because of a petty lovers' quarrel. So he smiled widely at them.

"I have a perfect solution for the both of you." Both instantly stopped and looked as he pointed at the man. "You're a young healthy man. I'm ordering you to consult my compound's matchmaker to find you a new engagement." The man looked shocked as he then pointed at the woman. "And you go marry whoever you want to. Now that that's settled, this meeting is now over!" He quickly stood up from the large comfortable pillows and plucked up a big bag with him. "Excuse me. I have an appointment to keep somewhere else."

"But-...B-But Founder!," the man called after him but he ignored it in favor of walking over towards the side door leading out of the room and to his private courters.

With his brisk legs it didn't take too long to step outside of the room and close the door behind him. A sigh of relief escaped his cold lungs as soon as he heard the door slide shut behind him. A chuckle to his left gave him another but smaller twinge of annoyance. 

"Not easy to get through today's meetings, Sir?" Kaleidoscope rainbow irises turned to an older woman. Her wrinkled face smiled amused at the younger man. "You've been taking more breaks than usual."

For once in his life he frowned. "Your words wound me. I thought my top helper would know better than to criticize hard work." A hand reached up to pluck a hat from his head. "Cancel anything else for me this week. I'm leaving for the Infinity Castle for a bit."

"Another meeting with Master Muzan? Or .. perhaps something else more familial?" She chuckled waving a hand to the object on his chest making him frown (pout-) more.

"Neither! I'm simply on my way to see my wife!" He finally smiled lighting up more. "My Happy is surely expecting me as we arranged it in advance."

He was so happy to finally get out of there for a while and ask (pester-) Nakime into teleporting him to the Infinity Castle or more Specifically the Dwell. It felt like a breath of fresh air as he stood in front of the familiar giant home one sound of a biwa strum later. He was happy to practically skip up to the door that instantly opened and a servant greeted him. But he paused seeing the object he carried with him... Before turning away to hide a snort. He rose a brow..but didn't bother with him to just skip a long... However he did notice all the amused or awestruck faces he got as he walked along the fancy corridors. 

This had been going on for the entire month. Why wasn't anyone taking him seriously!?

He frowned(pouted-) and continued along with the bag in hand until he came across a familiar corridor and briskly walked faster Until he stopped in front of the door smiling wider then ever. A hand reached up and knocked loudly on the fancy oak wood door loud enough to echo throughout the hall. It did not take too long for him to get an answer.

"Come in," a woman's voice called from within.

He wasted no time sliding the door open fast enough to almost slam it open and practically jump into the room locking onto a woman inside. "Oh my darling, Lotus Bloom!~"

You lazily rose a brow and looked up at the tall demon in the doorway closing the book in your hands. "You're three hours late."

Douma ignored you dropping the bag in his hands and persisted in rushing in, dropping to his knees next to you, and affectionately grabbing your hand in his hands. "My Angel.~ My light.~ My colors.~ My Happy!~ Oh how I missed you so!"

"It's only been a month," you deadpanned. 

He ignored that in favor of pressing his head against yours. "I was so loooonly without you. I wanted my wife so baaaaaad. I missed you so much!" A pucker of his lips followed as he puckered up and leaned in for an obvious kiss but stopped when a hand pressed against his mouth and pushed him back.

"You're over dramatizing things again, Douma. What took you so long? We agreed on a time and you promised to show up then."

He pouted again. "It wasn't my fault! My meetings take up so much time! Oh Y/n! Everyone's been so mean to me all month! They all keep looking at me like something's funny and no one's taking me seriously! I don't know why!" He whined.

You rolled your eyes before holding up a hand. "Maybe THIS is why." Your finger wiggled and was instantly snatched up by a chubby little hand.

Douma blinked before looking down at the platinum blonde haired infant strapped to his chest. His son giggled again and stared at you both with eyes of different shades of blues and purples. ".....Oh. Why would they be amused by this?" He gestured to himself. "I'm a good daddy! I always make sure he's with me."

You finally snorted amused. "Well seeing someone intimidating like you just walking around with a cute chubby baby on your chest would make you look a bit funny."

He pouted harder. "I'm a good dad!" He retorted crossing his arms. "I take care of, Lotus. And spend time with him! I'm good at daddy-ing!"

You again snorted at his choice of words and finding it easy people would be amused by his attitude on top of being a new dad but you both were still getting used to the custody arrangement. Douma can't be here all the time because of his duties and you didn't want to live in his compound, and you weren't going to force Rui to live there with his dislike of Douma already and his old family there. So you two formed an arrangement. You'd both take turns taking on Lotus until he can decide where he'd rather live once he was old enough. Each of you taking him for an entire month until the last day where you switched. It'd been five months now and so far it seemed to work out fairly well for everyone aside from Douma's pouting. You two hadn't made a big deal of telling a lot of people about Lotus yet still getting used to it so it was a bit surprise for a lot of people to find out that Douma was suddenly a father. 

You patted his cheek peeking him back up instantly. "Yes you are. And people finding you cute being a dad isn't a bad thing. It just means they know you're doing the best you can."

He smiled leaning in closer as Lotus cooed mindlessly. "Yes...So where is the young one?"

"He's training with Akaza today. Although I think they'll be back soo-"

You didn't even get to finish talking before the door slid open again and you both looked up. Both of you met the eyes of Akaza and Rui. No doubt Akaza had come to bring Rui home. All four of you stared silently at one another awkwardly before Douma sat back up to wave a hand excitedly at the link haired demon with a big grin. Akaza's eyes bugged out of his skull seeing the cooing baby strapped to the blonde's chest. He stared before looking at you, then at the baby, then at Douma, and then at the baby again.

"Hi, Akaza-dono! Did you finally come to see your best friend's son!? I'm AMAZING at daddy-ing!"

Akaza looked utterly, clearly, absolutely, so matter of factly, terrifyingly so, so, so, so HORRIFIED. "Oh dear gods no. THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!!"

[whitedemon-ladydeath]

it's really frustrating to be held for something i said well over 5 years ago from someone that has me blocked in the first place to the point posts im making *now* are getting tone policed by a third party. granted, it was something out of line and ableist and thoughtless towards papa archeron and its absolutely fair to be mad about it!! I completely understand and I wouldn't be caught dead saying something like that now as I have done a lot of self educating and growing and reflecting

but what makes it so frustrating is I make a post about being frustrated about Feyre not painting Nesta, but still painting their father. I believe I said something about him being useless and believe it or not, he *was* useless and it had absolutely nothing to do with him being disabled. He was a useless parent long before then. He neglected and abandoned Nesta well before he was hurt or they lost their wealth and the moment they got it back he was miraculously healed up enough to go right back to ignoring his daughters and traversing the world

his character is so hollow and flat that there's very little for me, personally, to find sympathetic. *He* lost their wealth and their fortune and in doing so he lost money to debt collectors. it's absolutely horrific that Feyre was made to bare witness to that and beg for them to stop hurting him. I identify so much with Feyre in that regard. That still does not remove the fact it was his own actions that led to that in the first place. if he got beaten within an inch of his life for losing that much money who the hell was he WORKING with in the first place (we don't know bec SJM is a shitty writer)

He is directly responsible for their loss of wealth and I am not personally holding him responsible for the last of it being used to partially heal his leg. however he IS still responsible for the loss of it in the FIRST place. his disability is a result of poor financial decisions and ofc there is no excuse to be ableist towards him for it

quite frankly he's written so poorly that there's nothing I personally can latch onto to give him much benefit of the doubt. I'm still going to hold him more responsible for not trying to find SOME WAY to take care of his daughters. NESTA reached out to relatives, FEYRE stepped up to hunt for them and he... makes wood carvings that don't even sell

Nesta being more vilified for the cabin years compared to their father, who is directly responsible for the loss of their wealth, has made me heartless towards him

he was useless before they lost their wealth and he was useless well after. He was, quite frankly, a deadbeat father, who threw Nesta to the wolves (his wife and her mother), who favored Feyre and Elain over her time and time again and I'm sorry but me saying he's useless is exactly what he was

he's a useless parent who let his children be neglected and/or further abused by his wife. maybe if SJM wrote him better, with more nuance, actually building on the dynamics between his wife and himself, instead of saying he was afraid of NESTA, a fourteen year old girl, I might have a different opinion but right now he doesn't have a whole lot of sympathy from me considering my own history with my disabled, terminally ill mother doing her best and killing herself taking care of us while also in an abusive, violent marriage

SJM didn't write it well enough for me to offer any kind of grace bec quite frankly, I am also really, really sick of father figure characters getting off the hook while the female characters are burned at the stake for being flawed and/or unperfect caretakers, which, to be clear, Nesta WAS NOT in the first place

[seresinhangmanjake]

Can you do something of Jake comforting the reader after loosing their grandfather who they were close with? My grandpa passed very suddenly and unexpectedly last night.

Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how that feels and it is a hard thing to accept and work through. I hope you like what I wrote and that it makes you feel a little bit better :)

Words: 965

Get Me Through

You couldn’t understand the horrible timing of your phone ringing and door banging in tune with one another when the sound of both was the absolute last thing you needed. People did not often bother you. With the exception of a select few, no one ever called. Rarely did anyone other than that same small group show up unannounced at your front door. And while you didn’t mind seeing the faces of your friends, today you didn’t need it. You’d already had to turn away one of them, and that should’ve been enough. 

As you made your way into the hall, your head started to pound, and in an effort to force it to cease sooner, you ignored the phone in favor of the knock. The ringing would stop on its own. The knocking, however, seemed to be on a damn mission. Open the door or suffer the consequences of a house full of loud echoing for god knows how long. 

You didn’t have the energy to put on the look of irritation that you felt deep in your core. As it was, you could barely keep your eyes open. So to avoid as much interaction with the intruder as possible, your plan was simple. Open door, curse out knocker, close door, back to bed. But when you pulled back the wooden slab—painted a shade of eggshell blue by the hand of one of those you loved most—you couldn’t find it in you to utter a single word. 

The look on his face was not one you’d ever seen before. It didn’t falter when he took the phone from his ear and clicked the red circle on the screen that ended the ringing pouring from your kitchen. 

“Sweetheart.”

“What are you doing here?” you asked, rubbing the sleep from your eye.

“What am I doing here?” His voice held a pain that almost made you feel guilty. Almost. Perhaps definitely, had your emotions not been solely reserved for something other than the way the man before you was presenting. “Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve been here hours ago.”

“Jake—”

His arms wrapping around you stole the breath from your lungs, shocking you so much it took a few seconds before you could settle into his warmth, acknowledge that you liked it a bit more than you cared to admit, and snake your arms around his shoulders to keep him close. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

Your tears were undoubtedly soaking into his naval academy t-shirt; the one you typically teased him for being too tight around his biceps while secretly admiring the definition it gave to his upper body. But today, you were only thankful that it kept you from dampening his shoulder with salty liquid and snot. 

Through your sniffles, you said, “Rooster called?”

With his nod, his nose brushed along the column of your neck. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

"He said he’d cover for me with Mav. I can be here as long as you want me.”

Forever, you could have muttered. Just stay forever. You knew you would always want him anyway. He might as well have set up camp just as he did in your heart and head. 

"Come on, sweetheart," he said as he lifted his head. His thumbs swiped under your lower lashes to clear the tears collected there. "Let's get some food in you."

—

At some point, you'd melted into one another. 

It took you a moment to push through the initial internal resistance at allowing him to hold you. Something screamed that the closer he was to you, the warmer his touch, the farther away he would eventually be. Completely out of your control, you would lose him. Not unlike how you lost one of the most valuable pieces of the puzzle that was your family. 

You couldn't have that again. You wouldn't be able to handle the absence of another. And even though he was right beside you, clinging to you as you sobbed, whispering sweet words in your ear, you were still terrified he would disappear.

"I know it doesn't feel like it right now," Jake said, his hand rubbing up and down your upper arm as you laid together on your bed. "But—"

"You don't have to say it," you interrupted. Your voice was unfamiliar to your ear; hoarse after hours of weeping. "I know one day it'll be ok. I'm just tired of losing the people who loved me." Your arm subconsciously tightened around his waist, then you released a long exhale. "When my grandfather died, it hit me that I don't have many people who love me without expectations or demands the way he did. I didn't realize how alone it would make me feel."

"Sweetheart, I don't have expectations of you. Nor demands," he said, words slightly muffled from his lips brushing against your temple. "Your grandfather was a great man, but he hasn't been the only one to love you wholeheartedly." His breath heated your skin, which carried all the way down to your toes. A blanket; warm and sweet and safe. Then he whispered, "You won't ever be alone."

You remained silent, unsure of how to handle the depth of his sudden confession. He'd never told you something like that before, but you couldn't fully process it past the light fluttering it bloomed in your stomach. While your heart was sure you felt the same for him, your brain couldn’t spare the effort. For now, you had his comfort, and the solid weight of his body against yours, and his soft touch to keep you grounded. You had what you needed. You had him. And you knew he would help you get through the night, so he could be there for you in the day.

---

A/N: I hope this fic helps anyone who has dealt with something similar feel a little better, too.

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792